Hope you are having a good day/night?
I was wondering if I could request BAU x Male reader who get's shot in the head and the bullet ricochets/bounces off their skull. How'd the team react to thinking reader is dead but someone notices something strange and that they are still alive but losing blood fast??
Warnings: Hospitals, head wound, shot in the head (but it bounces so no one dies)
A/N: Sorry it's a bit short and a bit silly!
"Shit!" Morgan swears, racing towards your body, "Shit, shit, shit, shit," His mumbles as desperate as he begs to a God he's not even sure he believes in that you're okay. But blood is beginning to pool around his knees as he kneels beside you. Then he sees your chest moving and rushes to take your pulse, it's pretty good for someone who just got shot in the head. "Reid!"
Spencer's there in seconds. "I think it ricocheted off his head," The paramedics, who had just entered the room, furrow their eyebrows and rush forward, quickly confirming Spencer's suspicion.
Hours later, you woke up with a headache from Hell. Your first instinct is that you're badly hungover, but you don't remember last night. You push yourself up from your bed, squinting at the light. You must have left a light on or something because it was ridiculously bright. When the idea of opening your eyes seemed less painful, you opened them..
Penelope leans over, clearly wanting to give you a hug but not wanting to overstep, "How are you feeling sweetie?"
You furrow your eyebrows at her, "Who- Who are you?"
You watch as their faces drop, panic setting in. "I'm sorry, that was cruel," You laugh, wincing at the pain in your head.
"And that was karma," Emily responded.
"I'm okay," You answer, Penelope gives you a look, unsure as to whether to believe you. "You're Penelope Garcia, Knower of All Knowledge."
"Okay, he's okay," Penelope declares.
"Except I genuinely cannot remember what happened, did I drink a lot? Like a lot, a lot?"
"Nope," Morgan answers, "An unsub shot you in the head and it bounced off."
"What?" Your jaw drops, this must be a joke, but then you turn to Hotch and his expression is serious and everyone else isn't telling Morgan not to joke. You lift a hand up to your head, and a thick bandage covers it. "You're joking."
"Unfortunately not," Hotch says.
You're silent for a moment, trying your best to process what he had told you, trying to drown Penelope and Morgan out as you think it over. ('Maybe that wasn't the best way to tell him!' 'But I summed it up nicely!' 'Look at him! You've broken him!').
"Are you okay?" You look up at JJ.
"I got shot in the head." JJ nods, "And it bounced off."
"Yep, like your head is made of metal or something," Morgan says.
"It bounced off?"
"It just- pew-" Derek pushes a finger towards his head until it pokes his forehead and makes the motion of it flying off.
"Okay, everyone wait outside," Hotch declares, seeing the panic on your face. It takes a moment, but soon enough it's just you and Hotch. "How are you feeling?"
"This is a lot."
Hotch nods.
"I nearly died."
He nods again.
"It bounced off my head, Hotch. Bounced."
He nods once more.
"What the fuck."
He huffs a laugh at that one.
"I'm gonna have such a cool scar," You realise. "What if I'm dead and this is just the afterlife?"
Hotch gives you a look before he stands up and opens the blinds, giving you the view of Emily, Penelope, Spencer, and Derek all in a heated debate (cough, argument, cough) whilst JJ and Rossi try their best to calm everything down. "This your idea of an afterlife?"
"I don't know, maybe I'm in Hell," You joke.
"You and me both," Hotch snorts.
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The thing about Hilson is that it wouldn’t work if Wilson wasn’t as batshit as House.
If Wilson was just an average guy, House would get bored and move on. Instead though, Wilson plays along with a lot of House’s schemes, and even gets into some nonsense of his own - the guitar kidnapping; literal gay chicken; hell, the first time they meet is because Wilson breaks that antique mirror with that bottle, and that made House think he was the only interesting guy there. If Wilson was just some dude - a plain James - House would think; “Who is this guy?.. I’m going to fuck him and move on.”
But because it’s Wilson, and Wilson is on the same level of batshit nonsense as House (he’s just better at hiding it than House, who really couldn’t give a fuck), that House bails this guy out of jail and is like “Who is this guy?.. I’m going to have a strange and unhealthy codependent relationship with him, and we’re going to be the only ones to stick by each other through thick and thin, and run away to live out our final days on this earth together… Also I’m going to fuck him.”
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