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anadiasmount · 3 months

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along with you - jude bellingham x reader.

GIF by anchyxsblog

quick sum: when giving him a taste of his own medicine, doesn't work out the way you planned... frustrated with your sudden change, jude is faced with his biggest fear, when all he wants is to be along with you.

wc: 2.5k | masterlist | jude’s masterlist

psa🗣️: hiii!! seems like the theme on here is angst to fluff, so here’s a fic!! also my lovely @judethluvr has wrote a fic similar to this so please check it out here! like always, hope you enjoy! 🤍

“you’re stressing me out jude! please all i'm asking is five minutes in peace!” you yelled, covering your head and walking away from an agitated jude. “y/n you started this? what are you talking about? all i’m asking is why you did come to today's game?” jude followed behind, talking with his hands.

“why would i jude? it’s not like you even wanted me there,” you laugh sarcastically, crossing your arms and facing a confused jude. “i heard what you said in your stupid interview yesterday and today. i’m not going to a place i’m not wanted or invited!” you stressed, feeling tears wanting to run down you’re cheeks.

it had been a rough start for you, not for jude. top goal scorer in the league, back to back man of the matches, top of the group table in the UCL. he had no trouble quickly adapting to a new city and country. while you had it different, the language barrier, your new school, and job, friends. you had no one here besides jude.

it was easier in germany where you could easily travel to him by train or plane. it was closer to england, and your home. where your family and friends were. you could spend the weekend there and come back for school and work. when jude asked you to move with you were estatic, more than grateful to have a partner like him who respects and values you always.

madrid was interesting start. the move was easy and finding the home was better. spending constant nights on the single couch and eating takeout because his and yours stuff from germany had been delayed. when jude became the new sensation, you didn’t expect the constant stalking, digging into your private life, crowds everywhere you went together even if you had tried to hide from them.

you could never get used to it, and it was becoming difficult when jude started to feed into that attention. spending more nights out with his team than at here with you. he constantly forgot about events you had, when you never forgot any of his. always there when he asked and said. you just wanted jude here. your jude.

“what are you in about? what did i even say?”jude tries to defend him, coping your movements by crossing his arms. “you know exactly what you said. i refuse to be treated like a plate for a second table. if you think i can’t be enough for you tell ME not the whole world?” you say, looking at the floor.

“all i want is for you to start being there for me. i missed one game jude, one game. you missed so many of my events since we moved here because you’re so focused on what’s ahead instead of what’s and who’s around you, living life in the moment. i’m tired, i’m tired of you acting selfish.”

you had said it. you always spoke your truth. if they wanted to listen, you’d speak until you felt the need to stop. you were humble and honest, which jude loved. but right now he felt his head would explode from anger and disappointment in himself. his chest tighten at how your words stung and told him to face reality.

“i’m being selfish? it’s my job y/n! i have to think of what’s my future, how i can better in myself and help my teams! just because i missed your events doesn’t mean you should do the same!,” jude stunned you, looking at him with wide eyes. sadness disappearing and now fury filling your veins.

“you see what i mean! this! this whole new persona and attitude! this wasn’t the jude from a year ago who always cared for those around him. this jude is to stuck, sticking his head in the wrong places. afraid to make any mistakes, because oh god forbid he can’t make them,” you say, voice laced with venom as you’d told up straighter.

“what am i supposed to do y/n? you hardly go out anymore, you’re always here or at work or uni. moaning and always tired, getting to our home late. what about the times i need you here? here with me to spend time with each other? to be there for you along with you?”

jude had finally caught up to the taste of his own medicine. it took him nearly three months to realize what you were doing. he did the same, so why couldn’t you? make him feel what you felt. what he was putting you through.

“excuse my language, but that’s bullshit. i’m always here, you just don’t care enough anymore to see that. i’m done with you testing my patience and limit, jude. if you can see or at least acknowledge where i’m coming from then we should think of our future. since your so good at that these days,” you say shakily, becoming afraid of what his next words would be.

jude saw you. you were standing here begging him, at your most vulnerable and sensitive state. your eyes pleading him to understand. you rarely got like this, and when you did, it absolutely drained you. your muscles felt lose, throat sore, eyes puffy, and head hard at steel. you hated fighting, or even have the smallest arguments, but if they didn’t happen, it wasn’t a healthy relationship.

“maybe i will y/n…” jude said angrily. he felt angrier at himself than the situation. you knew you had your reasons to not go and that was fine. he didn’t expect you to attend always but he needed and wanted you there yesterday. it was hurting him but he knew you were just telling him the truth. the truth that needed to be said the moment he started to change.

“if you feel like that jude, i won’t waste your time any longer. just say the words jude,” you test him, tears falling down your cheeks as you approached him pointing to the floor with your index finger as you spoke. jude tensed, clenching his jaw and swallowed heavily.

you took his silence as an answer, shaking your head as you began to cry and go upstairs. you felt torn and confused at where you two laid. it wasn’t easy. making a choice like that, let alone saying it out loud. your eyes felt red and dry, cheek having stains if your makeup and tears, heart dwelling to make things right even though it shouldn’t be you.

your heart was beating faster, and it didn’t stop the entire evening as you got ready for bed. we’re you really prepared to let him go just like that? just because of miscommunication and wanting to be petty? just because you were asking from his part when you did yours? it wasn’t fair, he was never like that before. he didn’t make you question your every move or word nowadays.

you attempted to fall asleep next to him, but you just couldn’t. your head raced at every interaction and touch with him. tears continued to fall from your eyes as you stared at his back facing you. why did he feel like a stranger all of a sudden? someone you couldn’t read anymore? someone who felt distant and cold? he was your boyfriend!

you couldn't stand it anymore... the distance, the argument, the pain, the confusion. you quickly grabbed your blanket and pillow and headed downstairs to the guest bedroom. you were careful with your movemntst and noise not wanting to wake up jude who desrved his sleep. he overworked himself, and the last thin you wanted was to wake him and him be angry at you again.

once settled in, you tucked yourself into the sheets. you went into a fetal position, tears continuing to fall down your face and landing on the pillow softly. when they rolled down slowly, they tickled your skin. you were super sensitive and when you cried, you cried like your life depended on it. you didn't even feel yourself fall asleep, eyes slowly closing and went complete dark.

jude was still puzzled and disappointed in himself. he sat on the kitchen island left wondering why the hell he isnt fighting for you and make you feel wanted, to fix and do what you were asking for. jude knew you were having trouble adapting here, but he was wrong for thinking you'd get over it. you were right, he was thinking of himself and him only.

he can't even remember the last time doing something for you when you asked. you always agreed with no hesitation, no matter how tired or unsure you were, you were there always. why couldn't he do the same for you? why did he let himself be this naive and selfish and think about him only?

the future he had in his head was getting married, having kids, owning a couple of pets, and traveling to give you the world. jude knew he wanted and needed you here in Madrid, he thought it would be best for both of you, a new chapter, which is why he asked you. you left a whole country, friends and family, your old life for him. and here he was acting ungrateful over a stupid game you didn't attend?

the images of you crying and looking lost at him triggered and were marked in his head. the way you slowly let out a breath of disbelief at his silence before rushing upstairs to lock yourself into the room, jude should've given you the space when you asked but he was eager to know and wanted to listen to how you felt, he should've never pushed or made assumptions about you.

jude couldn't sleep either, overthinking how the situation went. his body was drained from the game and how even he let out a few tears when he was left alone. how he had given the impression he had given up. he blinked rapidly, biting his lip anxiously at how he should approach you or apologize.

"y/n?" jude turned over, panic running up his body as he propped himself up at the sight of an empty bed, sheets ruffled and no pilllow there. he ran into the bathroom, then down the library you use to study, all empty. he walked downstairs figuring you may have gotten a glass of water. but nothing was there. he looked in the final place which was the guest room.

he knocked on the door, met with silence. "y/n? my love are you in there?" he knocked again, a bone inside him telling him you were there just choosing to avoid him. "please y/n..." jude landed his forehead on the wooden door, facing the fact whether to go in or go to sleep. he picked the first option, immediately nervous at the sight of you laying on your side.

you had woken up, your throat felt dry and your eyes even drier than before. you felt the bed sink in, jude lying close to you as you faced the window, eyes following the trace of lights outside caused by the moon. you yawned, closing your eyes and trying to focus on what he would say.

"i know i don't deserve it, but you know i can't sleep when you're not next to me..."

"i'm so stupid y/n... you were right. all along i've thought about myself and stuck my head in place it should've never been. all because i have this fear if i don't do what they say, i will fail. when in the ned i failed you, my sweetest y/n..." jude said softly, mimicking your moves and laying on his side where his chest made contact with your back.

"i should be able to make those mistakes and learn from it, it's a part of being human. one mistake can't define my whole career and life. you and i know i'm better than that. which is why i won't make the mistake of pushing you away when i know i should fight for us." jude kissed your bare shoulder. you could feel your chin tremble and your chest hot as tears threatened to fall again.

"i can't make the mistake of giving up on someone who moved a whole new city for me. make the mistake of walking away from the person who will drop what they're doing just to hold or talk to me. make the biggest mistake of leaving the person i can call home and be safe in. i can't and i refuse to let you go when you belong along with me..." jude cried, his words coming out shakily as he cried as well.

"i'm so sorry y/n. you didn't deserve anything in what i put you through... for how i made you feel? for how i treated you? not anything that was caused by my idiocy. i should've have listened to you, cared for you, maybe even helped you to try and find a solution," jude continued to let out, stopping every now and then to peck your shoulder and neck. showering you with the love and touch you craved.

you hadn't moved, your tears silently killing you from the inside and out as you heard his pleas and cries. your inside burned and you almost felt suffocated at the world for how they threw things at you when you least expected it. "whatever it takes, i will make it up to you. be there for you like you always have been for me. to love and care for like i promised to you that day."

you turned over slowly, meeting jude's brown eyes bloodshot red. you brought your hand to wipe his tears away, kissing the tip of his nose, watching how his eyes fluttered in a relaxed manner. you hugged him, your head finding home in the nape of his neck as you cried. "just hold me, please jude..."

and he did just that, nails raking against your bare back and hand smoothly running up and down your spine as he held you close, afraid to let go. jude knew it was a start and it would take a while for you to fully accept his apology. but he was willing to take anything you wanted or asked for.

"i'm glad you're prepared and know what you want because to me that means security and trust. that i know were on the same page and i won't be afraid of telling you what i want. just please jude, don't ever push me away like you did just to satisfy yourself and others around you..." you demanded, your forehead resting against his.

"i promise princess. you have my word."

your lips were centimeters apart, and with a final push, you closed the distance. jude hummed in delight as you kissed him with pure love and urgency. not pulling away until you giggled and pushed back. "now let's go to sleep, but in our bed, because staying in here is starting to freak me out..." you say laughing. jude picked you up, throwing you over his shoulder as he walked out into the stairs.

"couldn't agree more. let's go to our bed, where i can finally sleep peacefully knowing we're okay..."

#jude bellingham #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham imagine #judey thoughts 5️⃣#jude bellingham blurb #jude bellingham one shot #football fanfic #footballer #football x reader

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mcrslover · 2 months

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MCR quotes for anyone who needs them:

"Kids would say they were going to kill themselves then they heard our music... it's our mission"

- Mikey Way.

...

"Reasons why mcr is good for you

juradsleigh:

Feeling like a rad vampire? Listen to bullets

Feeling angry? Listen to 3 cheers

Feeling sad? Listen to black parade

Feeling colourful and happy? Listen to danger days

Feeling like breaking up your band? Listen to death never stop you"

...

"This is for every kid out there... That dyed their hair a fucked up colour and can't get a job. They got a tattoo on their neck like Frank, and can't get a job. That does this because they fuckin' love this. This song is for every kid in the audience- even if you don't have fucked up hair or tattoos-every kid on stage, this song's about us, this song's about you, it's called The Kids From Yesterday."

- Gerard Way.

...

"Stop covering your children's eyes.

Everything is fucked up and pretending it's not won't make it any better. I'm tired of people praying for a change when it's up to them to get off their asses and make a change."

- Frank Iero.

...

"I spent most of my time in the back of the class, just drawing. My goal was to not get noticed in school, because spent so long not being noticed anyway or being treated as if I were invisible that I started to like it.

I've learned that it's actually not very lonely... It's like, you have less friends but the friends you have count more. I met a lot of people that weren't outsiders, or they were very popular, and they have a lot of friends but I don't know if they're the kinds of friends you would call up at 3 am to help you out or talk about being depressed."

- Gerard Way.

...

"Promise me, when MCR's gone, you'll do what it takes to survive. You're strong enough to do it without us."

- Gerard Way.

...

"All your quirks and all your problems, even your depressions, and your failures that's.. that's what makes you, you."

- Gerard Way.

...

"If you or someone you know is severely depressed you need to fucking talk to someone! Your mom, someone in school, I don't give a fuck! Because suicide is fucking bullshit."

- Gerard Way.

...

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."

- Gerard Way.

...

"Nothing is worth hurting yourself over, nothing is worth taking your life over"

- Gerard Way.

...

"If we never play another show again, just keep yourself alive."

- Gerard Way.

...

"We're outsiders, we're the kids who didn't get dates for the prom, we're the kids who were confused, who didn't fit in with the cliques, who weren't part of the in-crowd.

Growing up can be a very frightening and confusing time, and I think people look at us and see it's okay to be different. They see that there is a way other than what they're being offered. That you can stand out, that you can be creative, that you can be yourself."

- Gerard Way.

...

"gerard-hey:

I love MCR so much it's like they have a song for every situation. Feeling sad? Listen to The Lights Behind Your Eyes. Feeling frustrated? Listen to I'm Not Okay. Feeling Energetic? Listen to Na Na Na. Feeling like you wanna kick some ass? Listen to Destroya.

Feeling rebellious? Listen to Teenagers. Feel like you wanna break up your band? Listen to Fake Your Death."

...

"The difference we want to make is, number one, to let these kids know that they're not alone, that they're actually not that messed up, and that they can do whatever they want they can express themselves in any way they want without being persecuted or called a faggot or some kind of racist thing. Really just get people to get over their stuff so they can live."

- Gerard Way.

...

"Whatever happens to you, no matter what, l'm always fucking there for you... Don't forget that. I don't give a shit if your boyfriend dumps you. If your girlfriend dumps you. If you're working a shitty job or can't get through school. If you can't get through a fucking Harry Potter book, there's nothing worth dying over. There's nothing worth taking your life over. I will always fucking be there."

- Gerard Way.

...

"If you come to an MCR show, you're probably a little fucked up, and that's okay because we're just as fucked up as you. It's us against the world. And it's great because there's thousands of us in one place."

- Gerard Way.

...

"Someone doesn't like you? Fuck it.

Having a bad day? Fuck it. Didn't get that job, or that grade, or that promotion you wanted? Fuck it. Fighting with your lover? Fuck it. Feel fat today? Fuck it. Losing control of everything and everyone? Fuck it.

What matters now won't matter soon; the truly important thing is that you are alive, and that you have the capacity to do absolutely anything with this beautiful, crazy coincidence of being on this earth. Just stick your middle fingers in the air and think, 'Damn, I have it good."

- Gerard Way.

...

"You're going to come across a lot of shitty bands, and a lot of shitty people. And if anyone of those people call your names because of what you look like, or bedause they don't accept you for who you are. I want you to look right at that mother fucker, stick up your middle finger and scream

"FUCK YOU!!"

- Gerard Way.

...

"Real revenge is making something of yourself."

- Gerard Way.

❤️🖤❤️🖤

#emo #gerard way #frank iero #my chemical romance #alternative #quotes #mcr #mcrquote #emokids

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777-maple · 4 months

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How I manifest everything

From someone who has been doing this for 3 years.

Table of context

1. EXCESS POTENTIAL

2. DO NOT GIVE A FUCK

3. FIND THE METHOD THAT WORKS BEST FOR YOU

4. DISCIPLINE

5. YOU DO NOT NEED TO DO MORE

6. 4V1

7. HOW NEGATIVES ARE ACTUALLY HUGE SIGNS

8. AFFIRMATION TAPES

EXCESS POTENTIAL:

Every time I've been overly fixated on manifesting something, it never quite works out. I've come to realize that relying solely on a manifestation for happiness creates a sense of lack. So, when the manifestation seems elusive, and I start feeling hopeless, I remind myself that I can find happiness independent of that specific outcome. I can be content right now and for the rest of my life, even if this thing never materializes.

Take the scenario of people manifesting their significant others. Relying entirely on that person for happiness isn't healthy. Even outside the realm of manifestation, your partner shouldn't be your sole source of joy. If the idea of not having them makes you believe you'll never be happy again, it's time to shift focus. Instead of obsessing over manifesting them back, it's about working on your self-concept and having a healthier perspective on relationships. I love my boyfriend, but if he left suddenly, I'd be sad, not thinking my life is over. It's about having a mindset that even if this particular thing doesn't work out, I'm still deserving of happiness and that happiness will come to me one way or another. And this may seem counterintuitive, however this is not me saying that you won’t manifest your desire and that you should be okay with that. I am saying that you need to be happy with or without because the 3d should never dictate your happiness.

DO NOT GIVE A FUCK:

Mastering manifesting requires not caring about the drama in the 3D world. Imagine unwanted things happening, and you just shrug it off, saying, "I don’t give a fuck." Add a bonus of "This will work out anyway." If your specific person hasn't replied, don't panic. Embrace the "IDGAF" mindset. "I don't give a fuck that they haven't texted back; they love me, and they'll reach out any minute now." After dropping this wisdom, distract yourself from the negativity. Watch a show, dance, listen to music—anything to divert attention. It's about cutting the drama and letting the universe do its thing. Repeat this as many times as necessary.

I applied this recently when two friends were dating, and I believed they weren't right for each other and I hated the way she treated him. Despite seeing them be all couplely in the 3d, I persisted in imagining their breakup. I would affirm occasionally “They are in the process of breaking up, I know that they’re about to break up”. After a week, they stopped hanging out, and eventually, they unfollowed each other. It took about two weeks.

FIND THE METHOD THAT WORKS BEST FOR YOU:

Honestly, none of the typical manifestation methods clicked with me. Affirmations gave me a headache, visualization overwhelmed me, meditation wasn't my go-to, and scripting bored me. So why don’t I like the holy grail of robotic affirmations? I appreciate affirmations, but I can't do them robotically 24/7; it's too stressful. I tried robotic affirming for two years without success. The key is finding a method you enjoy, not just focusing on its efficiency. If you don't enjoy your chosen method, find one that brings you joy. I have seen probably hundreds of robotic affirmation success stories, but since I never enjoyed affirming 24/7 it never worked for me. Ill get into my preferred method in a bit. But find one you enjoy.

DISCIPLINE:

Discipline used to be a challenge, but I realized it's crucial for manifesting. I stay disciplined by choosing a method, setting a 90-day goal, and eliminating distractions. I unsubscribed from manifestation coaches, delete twitter, tumblr, fb, and block tarot readers. Manifestation shouldn't become a distraction. Don’t let manifestation become your new Netflix. I no longer follow my favorite manifestation coaches, not because I dislike them, but because they served their purpose. I honestly do believe this step is crucial but a lot of people may not want to do it.

YOU DO NOT NEED TO DO MORE:

One day, it hit me that I rarely entertain opposing thoughts like “This won't work.” Instead, I find myself thinking, “I need to do more for this to work.” Identifying your specific limiting belief is crucial. In my case, I fell into a cycle of trying new methods because I believed I needed to do more. The pattern went like this: new method -> progress -> less progress/opposite results -> need to add a new method -> progress -> burnout -> giving up. Manifesting operates effortlessly 24/7, so consciously manifesting should be the same. Pick one method, stick to it, and trust it.

1v4:

Here's the affirming method I swear by (shoutout to GOATEDMANIFESTING on YouTube and TikTok– the only coach I actually care about and relate to 100%). I maintain a mental diet by monitoring my thoughts throughout the day. If a negative thought contradicts what I'm manifesting, I stop myself and affirm the positive opposite four times. For instance, if I think "He's getting bored of me," I counter it with affirmations like "No, he loves spending time with me; he's always excited to be around me." Repeat that four times, let go, and continue with what you were doing, all while keeping an eye on your thoughts. It's like facing four opponents in a fight – depending on the strength of the limiting belief, it might take some hits. If four people keep beating you up, even if you survive the first round, you would eventually give up.

HOW NEGATIVES ARE ACTUALLY HUGE SIGNS:

Everything only has meaning if you give it meaning. After observing the process of manifesting something new multiple times, I've noticed I often hit a sort of rock bottom. In the beginning, it involved a few days of confidence followed by uncertainty and worry. But persisting through it always led to improvement and successful manifestation. I've learned to assign a new meaning to these tough days – they're a massive sign that what I'm doing is imprinting on my subconscious. It's like my subconscious is "fighting back" against this foreign idea, but if I persist, it'll absorb and manifest. The resistance might show up as opposing dreams, intrusive thoughts, or even the opposite appearing in the 3D. Take it as a sign that after persisting, your subconscious will be impressed and manifest. Just stand firm during this time. Stand on business.

AFFIRMATION TAPES

This is my preferred method but imma just link a video that explains it better than I ever could plus I am tired of writing.

youtube

CONCLUSION

There is so so much more I have learned like how I don’t listen to depressing music anymore just shit that makes me feel confident, motivated or happy.

I have been obsessed with law of assumption for 3 whole years now and I know I still got a lot more to learn however this shit got me movement with my sp in 9 days after 2 years of hot and cold. It got me an A in my college algebra class even though it should be a B. It got my friend to end it with his toxic girlfriend. It got my other friend to end shit with her toxic best friend. I change my appearance and my confidence is through the roof and this is the first time in a while where I am completely content with my life.

There is a lot more I could talk about but thats for another day, these are just the main 7 points.

#law of assumption #manifestation #manifesting #affirmations #manifesation #loassumption

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char-chats · 1 year

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Insecurities

SFW (gender neutral)

CW: slightly hateful words

Genya:

You've always doubted yourself when it came to most things you felt weak, useless, and like an outcast. You just felt like every time you tried to help you made it worse.

When you told your parents that you were thinking about joining the demon slayer corpse they laughed In your face telling you , you'd die within a couple seconds.

This didn't stop you! Sure at times you've thought about giving up, but proving everyone wrong and seeing the look on there faces to see that you've succeed in your goal kept you going

When you met Genya you almost immediately fell for him. You really also really admired Genya.

He was so strong, polite, kind and tough, so when he confessed to you all nervous and blushy, you where excited, confused, happy , so many emotions all at once. He was yours and you where his.

Genya took care for you, you loved it and hated it. It made you feel weak, at some point in the day you and Genya were walking through the town when Genya stopped to buy something from this mini store.

As you where waiting outside you over heard a group of women and men talking about how Genya looks to good to be with you, to strong, tall to better to be with someone like you, weak

You felt all lump in your throat form and your eyes blur as tears form. That's when Genya stepped out smiling but quickly changed when he saw your sad expression.

"What's wrong?" He asked worriedly you shook your head and looked away "let's talk at home" he nodded his head and grabbed your hand running his callous thumb over your hand. So you two walk home in silence.

The walk home seems so long but when you finally arrived at your shared home and sat down on your bed ...and finally letting it all out

You broke down letting all the years of built of sadness out Genya was shocked and quickly went to comfort you, sitting next to you and wrapping his arms around you.

"What's wrong?! Did someone say something to you? " you shook your head taking a deep breath in and looking down.

"I.. I feel so useless all the fucking time.. Like I'm this little weak thing that can't do anything right... Your so much better than me, your stronger, tougher, just ... Better.. I look fucking pathetic standing next to you"

Genya cupped his hands on your red cheeks and looked at your teary eyes " [Name] I love you so much, you're not useless at all... How could you think that. Being useful doesn't always mean being strong or strength in general. It could mean mentality, you are so sweet and give amazing advice.

You listen to me and the others and really help us get through our issues.I admire you so much... I don't know what we'd do without you." Hearing those words were all you need to hear, that's all you wanted to hear, and you finally got to hear it.

You looked at Genya and hugged him tightly crying even harder soaking his shirt. Genya gently hugged you resting his chin on your head, rocking you back and forth slowly.

When finally the tears stopped Genya lifted his chin off your head, cupping your cheeks and kissing your forehead "come on let's go make some food, I'm hungry" you chuckled and nodded your head taking your hand into his.

Muichiro:

You grew up in a household where you had to be the highest achiever. You've always felt as if you where nothing as if you have achieved nothing in your life.

You had to be the best at everything, not good but the best of the best. You didn't even want to join the demon slayer corpse, in fact you where scared shitless. You just wanted your parents to be proud of you ,so you joined anyway.

And when you came back home from your training, all you got was "so when are you going to become a Hashira?" That's okay you could do better and you would! You could do it! So you pushed your self.

You first met Muichiro because you applied to be his Tsuguko and he accepted. You and him would often talk, well mostly you. Laying down on the grass and staring up at the fluffy clouds. He would listen and put his thoughts here and there, and sometimes would laugh. He enjoyed spending time with you and so did you.

He was so hard working, logical and a genius he became a Hashira within two months at 14, you felt like such an idiot for taking a year to finish your training then another year to become an official Hashira.

So when you gathered up the courage to confess to him you thought he would look at you blankly and walk away. But instead he smiled and the took your hand into his and said "I feel the same way [Name]". It seemed like time had stopped and you felt so many emotions all at once. Mainly happiness

You and Muichiro where sitting in the estates garden, you where talking about how you thought how beautiful the flowers where and all the different types of flowers, while Muichiro nodded and smiled.

That's when you spotted two demon slayers not to faraway looking at you. "Hey [Name] I'm gonna go get a snack I'm a little hungry, would you like anything?" you shook your head no "okay, I won't be to long" he smiled.

You looked down at your hands still feeling the gaze of the two slayers. "Hey, you're [Name] the new Hashira, aren't you ?"You looked up to see the two demon slayers now standing in front of you.

"Oh, um yeah" they both looked at each other and laughed, you furrowed your eye brows "Is something wrong? Er-". "Oh come on, do you really think Muichiro actually likes you?"," Yeah, he only said yes because he feels bad for you, I mean look at him he's better looking and he became a Hashira in two months. Then there's you.. Two years it's fucking pathetic, you'll never be up to his level".

Then they walked away, you where at a lost for words what the fuck just happened.. I mean what the fuck...I mean they were just demon slayers not Hashiras..But..Maybe they where right.. You'll never be good enough, never be up to his standards. It was all to much and you let the tears fall.

"[Name?....] You looked up quickly whipping away your tears, "what happened?" He sat beside you gently taking your hands into his. Oh no you felt tears at the brim of your eyes again "come on talk to me... I'm listening"

You took in a deep breath "I will never be up to your level no matter how hard I try.. You're just so good looking.. And a genius over all I mean, you became a Hashira in two months and it took me two years!

You looked down in shame not wanting to see his reaction to this. What if he thought you were stupid for saying all this. Where you too much for him? Did you say too much? There were such "what if's" going through your mind.

Bu your thoughts where all silenced when he lifted your chin to make you look and him. And took your hands into his and said "Honestly.. I thought you where the one too good for me, I admire your resilience, I don't know how you do it sometimes. Me taking two months while it took you two years doesn't mean anything. Just because you took longer then me doesn't mean your lesser than me. It's okay to take longer then someone else, I can be good at fighting but you can be way better at it, we all have different strengths and weaknesses. "

Yeah. All you needed was words of kindness, caring words. He cared and it showed he loved you he truly did. He thought no less of you in fact he thought more of you. You then leaned in and kissed his left cheek "thank you, Mui" you said with a smile

Muichiro cheeks turned bright pink and looks away "yeah no problem.. " he trailed off. "W-well, I tried to learn some origami want to come and see?..." You shook your head yes happily and he got up and held out his hand, so you took his hand walking to his place.

#genya headcanons #x reader #demon slayer #demon slayer smut #kny reader insert #kny #kny muichiro #muichirou #tokitō muichirō #muichiro x y/n #muichiro x reader #muichiro fluff #kimetsu muichiro #kimetsu no yaiba kanroji #genya my beloved #kimetsu genya #shinaguzawa genya

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crazyk-imagine · 9 months

Note

Hey! I just read your Jamie Tartt fic where the reader is pregnant and I freaking loved it! It kind of got me thinking about Jamie bringing his little girl, cause he’s totally gonna be a girl dad, to the pitch for practice. She’s like 4 or 5, really young and wearing a Tartt jersey and has the entire team wrapped around her finger, especially Roy.. bonus if her favorite player is someone else on the team, any of them, and Roy and Jamie get jealous… if you could write it great! If not no worries! Thanks for the consideration! 🥰🥰

Abdicated Family Issues

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x Pregnant!Reader

Characters: Jamie Tartt, Pregnant!reader, Tartt Toddler, Baby Tartt, Roy Kent, Dani Rojas, Jan Maas (briefly mentioned)

Warnings: Fluff, Jamie being a dramatic bitch, Jealous Roy and Jamie, Toddler Tartt bouncing off the walls because of her fun day at dad's work, Roy didn't ask for this, he didn't plan on being involved, Jamie being a sad little baby thinking his baby girl doesn't like him (anymore), Jamie and Roy need comforting, reader becomes their therapist for a second, Dani being a sweetheart (ofc)

Word Count: 1,432

A/N: Ahhh, love, love, love it!! I thought who better to make Jamie just a little jelly than Dani aka the other ace on the team. Roy being involved and jelly is a plus.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You smile when you get a text from your boyfriend.

Baby 💕

"Leaving now. Will be home soon" 2:19pm Sent Read

Darling 💓

"See you two soon 💕" 2:27pm Sent Read

As soon as you get comfortable your boyfriend lays beside you. “How am I supposed to feel?” Jamie whines to you, crawling onto your lap.

“Can you back-up to the beginning of your story? I have no idea what’s happened, and you pretended like I came onto the field with you," you tell him, rubbing your slowly growing belly.

He smiles and adjusts himself so he lays by your side, head resting on your shoulder so he can also rub your belly.

"Tell me why you look like my sad Jaim."

"She-"

"Dani is so cool!"

You glance away from your excited and jumpy daughter to your even more depressed boyfriend.

"Why don't you tell your mum what you told me?" Ron's voice echoes throughout the hallway as he closes the front door.

"Dani did this really cool move and- and-"

You try and shush, "babes. Babes." You sigh when you don't get her attention. "Honey, take a breath and breathe. I want to hear about your exciting day, but you can only do it if you talk a little slower."

She stares at you.

Roy grabs a seat on one of the chairs you keep out for company (because the team comes over more often than you'd like, right now being pregnant; they take a lot of you). "Why don't you tell her more about the fun you had today?"

"Jan's really tall and gave me piggyback rides while dad was practicing, even though he should have been too."

"You made it fun, Baby Tartt."

You furrow your brows, unsure of who said that.

Roy shrugs and mouths, "phone."

Jamie slumps further into your side.

You open your arms, wanting to pull your baby girl in for a hug and make a poor attempt at trying to get the phone before your chatty girl drops it.

Meaning you two would need to buy another phone (your goal is to make it last six more months).

The screen shifts to the ceiling before Dani's face pops up. "Hi. How are you? Do you need some of my family's special pregnancy soup?"

You smile and shake your head. "No, thank you, Danny. I appreciate the offer though."

"Of course, of course."

"So, how was today's practice? I hope it was alright."

"Oh, it was great. Baby Tartt shows promise to follow in her father's footsteps."

"Oh, does she?"

He nods, "yes, yes. I showed her a few moves and-"

"More like took her attention from me," Jamie grumbles.

Roy scoffs.

You shake your head, wanting to listen to what Dani's saying without commentary from the peanut gallery.

It only lasts two minutes longer until you can't take it anymore.

"Dani- dani- I'm sorry, I'm feeling a little nauseous and I don't want to keep you any longer. I know you have other things to do. I'm sure we'll talk more soon."

"Alright, I’ll leave you to rest. I know how much a woman in your condition needs her rest, especially with Jamie’s baby.”

Your boyfriend beside you grumbles, “what does that mean?”

“You are a good football player, meaning you have strong kicks.”

He doesn’t respond but you do know that Dani’s comment uplifted his mood just a little bit.

“I hope you have a good rest of your evening and get plenty of rest,” the excited player waves to you.

Your daughter leans in, waving. “Bye, Dani! I’ll come by so we can practice more.”

“That is good to hear. I can’t wait until your next visit.”

You end the call and look up. “Sweetie?”

Jamie and your daughter look at you; you pat your boyfriend’s shoulder.

“Not you, J.” You glance back at your adorable baby girl. “Can you go get me my special blanket? I’m feeling a little cold.”

She nods, “okay.”

“I can help-”

You shake your head, “nope. Neither of you are leaving this room until you confess.”

“Confess? Confess what?” Jamie asks.

“You know what. You two have never looked more upset and depressed at the same time. I want to know why so I can help you.”

Roy clenches his jaw.

“You don’t have to say much, Roy. But you, my dear Jaim, have to give me something so I can figure out whether or not a hug will suffice for right now.”

He groans and removes himself from you, throwing himself onto the other side of the couch. “She likes him more.”

Your head snaps over at the gruff man. “What?”

He sighs, “your future athlete, liked Dani more than she liked her dad on the field today.”

“And you,” Jamie points at him. “Don’t throw me under the bus and expect me to just sit here and let you-”

You grab Jamie’s hand, intertwining your fingers, “stop it. There’s no need to fight.”

The older man crosses his arms. “But it’s not fair.”

“What’s not fair? I need you to explain to me because I have no idea what it is or how to help you.”

“She wanted to practice more with Dani than she did me. I mean, how does that make sense? How is that fair? I’m her fuckin’ dad, you know.”

A small smile tugs at the corner of your lips. “Jaim, you shouldn’t feel that way.” You brush away the hair that falls in front of his eyes.

“How else am I supposed to feel? Made me feel like- I don’t know.”

“You do know but I won’t push you because I know it’s the fact that Roy’s here. But please don’t worry about that-”

“Well, how else am I supposed to feel?”

You sigh. “Jamie, she’s wearing your number and has your name on the back of her jersey. She may want to hang out with him a few times but you’re her dad. You’re her number one player.”

Roy clearing his throat makes you roll your eyes, “and you as well, you big baby.”

The gruff man smirks in return, not wanting you to know how that makes him feel (special).

You return your attention to your boyfriend. “You are the reason she loves the sport, without you, who knows what she’d be obsessed with other than her toys, you know. I mean, you helped her find her future.”

He finally looks at you for the first time since he got home. “I did?”

You nod, smiling at him. “Of course, you fucking did because you are Jamie Tartt. Best girl dad ever, Jamie Tartt.”

He cups your cheek before leaning in to kiss you.

You pull back with a gasp as a wide smile dances across your lips.

“What is it?”

“Someone’s also trying to show you that they’re your number one fan with their strong kicks.” You grab his hand and hold it over the spot.

The exciting moment between you two is broken when a certain ex-player’s hand hovers over your belly.

“Come here, you quiet old man.”

“Oi.”

You raise a brow at him.

“I’m not that old.”

“I found it.”

You all turn to find your daughter trapped underneath the blanket.

“Roy, go help her before she trips, please.”

Your boyfriend takes this opportunity to whisper sweet promises to the baby.

Once your daughter is free and can see properly, she watches the two of you. “What are you two doing?”

“Your sibling is kicking,” he tells her.

Her eyes widen and she rushes towards you, wanting to feel the kicks as well.

Jamie grabs her hand so the two of them can feel the baby kicking together.

You glance over at Roy, who’s set the blanket off the side; he waves at you before leaving.

“Are you two having fun?”

They nod, not wanting to break their concentration.

You groan, throwing your head back.

“What? What is it?” Jamie asks, worried something’s wrong.

“You two keep pushing the baby onto my bladder and guess what?”

“I’ll help you up.” He gets you up with no problems. He leans closer to your ear, whispering, “all you need to do is ask, darling.”

You narrow your eyes to him. “Really? You really want to get cheeky with me, Tartt.”

He only smiles and walks with you to the bathroom.

“Go spend time with your daughter before she’s old enough to go out on dates.”

“Don’t do that to me.” And he’s back in the living room.

You chuckle, finding it too easy to rile him up.

#ted lasso #ted lasso imagine #ted lasso imagines #ted lasso fanfic #ted lasso fanfiction #jamie tartt #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt imagines #crazyk-imagine

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nrdmssgs · 11 months

Text

Alex Keller being readers gym buddy (scenario)

Masterlist

I have this feeling, he would be so good at that with his caring nature. Thought of something sweet for our golden boy.

Alex doesn't understand, why do you keep finding reasons to NOT join him at the gym.

Because you are always so lively, energetic, you absolutely live for long hikes, you can cycle for a good half a day through the fields and parks in good weather, and that time when you two got out to the lake... He had to pull you out of the water almost by force in the evening - you liked swimming so much, you seemed to decide to stay in water for the rest of your life.

In a word, you have always been active, on the move. But when the conversation went back to going to a gym together, you shied away.

Alex repeatedly listed the advantages of this idea. "It will be fun, you will have an additional incentive to go to bed on time, and after a workout you will feel like a new person!"

"And I'll be able to see you every week," this he doesn't say out loud.

You sigh heavily. "I don't even know, Alex." You went through this conversation many times, but this time he uses an absolute sucker punch.

He lowers his head, looks up at you and listens to your ridiculous excuses with a sad but humble face.

Those puppy eyes can make you do anything. This is not even a grimace, he doesn't do that intentionally. It's just the way his expression work: it's all very soft and subtle. But it makes you weak.

You pause and exhale. "Ok, I'll come. But don't say I haven't warned you, I'm no fun to be training with..."

He smiles sincerely, and you just wonder if he really doesn't see how easily he controls you with just his gaze. Those damn beautiful blue eyes with a mesmerizing darker border. As if he wasn't already perfect, he just had to get such a powerful people control lever, goddammit...

To be honest, you were just worried that you would make his workouts a lot more boring.

He was a soldier, a true hard ass warrior. And had quite a body. You understood pretty well, that even one tenth of his regular workout would very likely make you pass out.

And there were you, a silly happy noodle, who was capable only of (gladly) dying in his hands after the very first exercise.

So on the very first morning, when he met you at the front door of your house and almost took you by the hand to the gym, you immediately confess to him. "I have no idea how to exercise properly."

"We'll figure out your exercises, no worries," he is so determined and happy, nothing seems able to distract him right now.

In the gym, at first, he does not leave you even for 5 minutes. He shows you different exercises, explains how everything here works.

You desperately try to repeat each exercise as many times as he advises. At some point, Alex notices that you are completely out of breath, your face is red, and your hands are trembling.

"Hey stop, stop!" He appears behind your back in the very next second. "You need a breather." Alex makes you sit down on the bench and gives you a bottle of water. "Seems like we have a little overachiever here, am I right?"

You shake your head, trying to catch your breath. You are just trying so very hard to not be an embarrassment to him here.

He looks at you so attentively, his eyes are incredibly caring, it's hard for you to just relax and drink your water. And when he brushes a lock of hair out of your face, you understand, that you'll never calm down your pulse.

"Hey, why do you think, we are here? I mean, what's your goal?" His voice is soft and kind.

"I don't even know..." You point uncertainly at your torso and hips. "To get this in shape?"

He looks at you confused for a few seconds, then starts speaking seriously. "This all is ideal. Just the way It's supposed to be. There is nothing to get in shape in you." He notices, how you roll your eyes, and takes your hand.

"I meant it. Look at me. I mean it. I'm serious. I don't want you to come here to despise your body, to torture yourself. A little challenge is always good, but I don't want you to start hating it here. So how about we just... have fun here? How about you love your body for what it's capable of and not hate it for not being in some mythical shape?"

As much as you understand and approve everything, he's talking about, you still feel like a burden, like a newborn kitten, trying to run along with a cheetah.

So when you express your doubts, Alex makes it his personal mission to help you feel better about yourself while exercising.

He turns into the most caring and patient personal coach. Calmly explains and shows each exercise, praises you for everything, even for the fact that you realize that you are tired and stop the exercise a little earlier.

"It's okay. It's not a problem, it's an opportunity for growth." He smiles and gives you water.

Staying hydrated is perhaps the only thing with which Alex is strict and unforgiving. Hydration is the key, and he keeps an eye on your bottle constantly. Yes, you must drink a lot.

He remembers the exercises, that were the most difficult for you, and especially praises you for doing them. "Now let's do this exercise, which you always do so well!"

If the circumstances allow it, Alex stands behind you and blows softly on your neck and shoulders to cool you down as you are working out.

As an absolute gentleman, doesn't let the slightest drop of hunger slipping into his gaze, as he watches you working out. Neither is he blind, nor a saint, but he keeps his deepest fantasies and intentions strictly to himself until he is 100% sure, It's ok to share them with you.

That be said, there are some death glares here and there, when he sees someone approaching you and making you uncomfortable. But he keeps it quite and places himself behind you in such moments to not scare you.

Tactfully, "doesn't notice" when you stare at him working out for a little too long. Secretly thrives on such moments.

Overall, Alex is just on top of the world since you two started seeing each other more often, and he could help you find more confidence and love of your body.

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moodymisty · 5 months

Note

Request; Guilliman's partner comforting him? He is so sad in 40k, and has so much on his plate. The Lord Regent needs cuddles when he has a break!

Author's Note: #LetRollarcoasterGhilliesuitRest. I'm having fun writing all these cute requests while I work on some Konrad stuff >:3

Relationships: Roboute Guilliman/Fem!Reader

Warnings: None apart from Cato Sicarius being an stick in the mud because that's just who he is ✨ he just born that way ✨

Word Count: 932

Guilliman's chambers remain unchanged from when he had last entered them, a massive room adorned with the symbols of his legion. It is all ornate, golden, tapestries hanging and filigree tracing the edges. It's all decorative, indulgent. But none of it is his; The room feels nothing but sterile, to him. There isn't a single remnant of his life, only his legacy.

"You look tired."

You sit small on his massive bed, Guilliman's gaze having turned to you upon hearing your voice. It's quiet in the massive room, nearly drowned out by the high ceiling.

He is tired. Incredibly so. Perhaps mentally more than physically. Though the sight of you serves to act like some sort of drug to give him a boost, abit only temporarily.

He works tirelessly, endlessly, with no goal or end in sight. The Imperium is no less rotten, galaxy no less plagued since he'd last looked. You serve to be a small candle for him, a hope for a future, but a candle can't light a cavern. But still, he hates to imagine his life without you now.

Though Chapter Master Marneus Calgar and the Commanders of the Legion had not taken well to it. To you. It seems their Primarch having wants and desires beyond his supposed godhood is upsetting. They seem to almost speak of it, of you, as if it's an illness- being in love. Wanting a life beyond war.

Gulliman still remembers Cato Sicarius' attempt to discipline you for referring to him as Roboute so casually, spitting venom at your supposed disrespect.

The holotable shined against blue painted armor and skin, sickly green blending with blue and gold. Guilliman had been expecting a moment alone with you, to voice his thoughts, though it has quickly seemed to have turned into a meeting of sorts. You moved to take your leave, as you know well you were unwelcome in the Ultramarine chapter's private dialogues. Guilliman doesn't disagree that you shouldn't overhear, but his chapter takes it much more seriously. Vehemently so.

You look up at him, holding your hands close to yourself.

"I'll be in the Librarium, Roboute-"

Cato Sicarius turned his gaze to you, searing even through his helmet. His stance across the holotable was firm and unmovable, one hand on the pommel of his chainsword. He is ever the epitome of Ultramarine valor.

"You will speak of Our Lord Guilliman with the proper respect-"

Guilliman turned to the Ultramarine, who's zealotry has been wearing on him like waves against a ragged shoreline. To him he can begrudgingly deal with it, but he will not let him trample you.

"She can refer to me however she wishes," Guilliman said, his armor making noise as he resisted balling his hands into fists. "Do not speak for me again."

The Primarch had shut the Astarte down within moments. But the burn still remains. Their overwhelming zeal has proven irritating, but in that moment it finally turned him to anger.

They treat him like a god, speak of him as such; You are the only one who still treats him like a man. Perhaps he might be far removed, but he is still human, underneath his overwhelming size and power. At least he feels he is. Sometimes he isn't quite sure anymore.

"Perhaps I am. Sleep is rare for us all." He finally responds to your comment, neither disagreeing or agreeing fully. Despite it, you look up at him with this soft, caring face- It reminds him of Euten. You gently pat the bed.

"Can you come here?"

The Primarch listens, coming closer. He gently sits on the bed to avoid jostling you, watching the way you curl your hand to gesture him closer. He furrows his brow.

"What do you have in mind?" Guilliman watches you intently, trying to read you and figure it all out. You just give him that same sweet look.

"Just come closer. Lay down." When he doesn't move, you sigh.

"Please?"

Then does the Primarch finally give in, laying back; Feeling your hands as you adjust until the back of his head lays across your thighs. Your hands brush through his hair, and Guilliman swears for a moment he could die right here and be satisfied. With such a simple gesture, you've healed him just a bit from the horrors gnawing at him.

His eyes are hooded, not quite closed as he looks off. He looks deep in thought, or tired. More than likely both.

"You have the time to sleep, if you want." If he returned here, it could only mean he finally had managed to obtain a moment to himself. He's looking away from you when he responds.

"I don't wish to weigh you down for so long." Your hand brushes across his cheek for a moment, brushing a chunk of short blonde hair behind his ear.

"I know you Roboute; You won't be asleep for that long."

The sentence makes him let out a dry laugh. You had him down to a science within months; His Legion barely knows him, and they worship him.

His hand reaches up to gently cup your face, and it swallows so much of it. You lean into his palm none the less. You put your hand on his own for a moment, before returning it to his head.

"Take a moment to yourself, Roboute. You've fought for everyone else for so long. The galaxy can spare you a minute."

He doesn't remember anything else, after. Just the soft look in your eyes and the feeling of your fingers against his skin.

#roboute guilliman x reader #primarch x reader #warhammer40k x reader #reader insert #reader #mywriting

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marshmallowprotection · 21 days

Note

Been having a really shit time lately

Is it possible to request some post-GE Suit Saeran headcanons? (I like to explore suit and ray being separate alters from saeray sometimes because I miss them as individuals so much and want to see them grow as such)

Thank you!

Absolutely! I don't typically write them that way but I enjoy seeing the different takes on them! Just so you guys know, and I feel the need to point this out, the game never does officially confirms Saeran's mental health in terms of what he may have. We don't know if he has DID, OSDD, Bipolar, etc. So, there's no wrong way to interpret him as long as you're working to make sure whatever you're writing is done so respectfully.

Make sure to listen to people with the conditions you're writing with if you do not experience them personally, because representation is important and you do not want to demonize personality disorders or dissociative disorders. Media does that enough to people and that's harmful as it is.

We can all learn a thing or two by listening to others. I wouldn't want anyone to get things misconstrued because of the way I personally headcanon and write the characters.

When I'm writing Saeran, I write with DID in mind. I also write GE Saeran as a fusion of Ray and Suit Saeran after the events of Day 10. A lot of people get sad that I write it that way, because they feel as though those two disappear and no longer exist, within reality, they come together to create GE Saeran, or Saeray, as I lovingly call him.

Suit Saeran and Ray exist within him, because they are him, if that makes sense. Their experiences, memories, feelings, actions, all of that live on in GE Saeran. He knows them well because they were him.

Now, let me clear this up as well, the "fusion" of alters does not mean "cured". It doesn't magically make you "cured" all of a sudden. I better not see anybody spreading that kind of misinformation because that is not the case. DID will always be a part of someone with DID, it does not matter if alters have fused or not. Integration and fusion may be a goal for some systems, but it isn't for others.

It's a case by case basis.

Systems together decide what works for them, and nobody better tell them how to decide what's best for them.

Alright, now that we've cleared that up!

GE Suit Saeran is... struggling, for the lack of a better word. He told you his intention that night.

That night when he apologized for everything he ever did to you and how he wants to take accountability for it even if it takes him forever. He told himself that he would leave as best he could because it's not as if he has control over when he is fronting or not.

He wanted to minimize his contact with you as much as possible, to show you that he wants to work on himself as a person, and to heal the wounds that have been inflicted on him so that he can treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Even if you accept his apology, he doesn't accept it for himself. He can't forgive himself.

That's one of the reasons why the after ending has a huge emphasis on GE Saeran working to forgive the people who hurt him. He just... perpetuated everything that was done to him by those people on to you. He learns how to forgive them so that he can forgive himself. It helps him find peace, too. To let go of the anger and move forward in life. He'll forgive but he'll never forget or look back.

In an instance where Suit Saeran and Ray exist as themselves, he would be minimizing himself as much as possible in the beginning if he could help it. After all, he told you that he knew Ray could take better care of you than he could. Ray has his own demons to work on, as well, because you also need to talk to him about accountability and how he feels about moving forward to accept what he did.

But, the difference between him and Ray is that Ray doesn't want to hurt people… and Saeran never had a qualm with hurting someone if it protected Ray or you, later on. Ray’s heart is truly gentle, and even if he’s done wrong as well, he won't hurt you... not like Saeran is very acutely afraid of doing. He knows he doesn't want to hurt you, but he also knows that he's not in a good headspace. He won't hurt you with the intention of doing so.

But, accidentally?

He could hurt you that way.

And as he is right now, he can't stomach the thought of hurting you more than he already did. Forgiven or not by you, once again, he can't forgive himself until he confronts his demons... and his way of doing that wouldn't look as close to GE Saeran's way. It'd be messier, mixed with his exhaustion, anger, and fear. He'll get there, I know he will, but it's a long road.

What would his interactions look like with you? Well, he would make a point to step away from you in the beginning and you would know why he's doing that. Every time he's around, he makes a point of giving you space, of letting you decide what you're comfortable with and what you aren't. Sometimes, you don't mind him sticking around, in fact, many of you may say that you don't mind him around at all, but it doesn't change the fact that he wants your express consent at all times to know it's okay to be there.

He is aware of everything he's done, and he's not going to corner you. He's afraid of doing that, actually.

That makes most of his interactions with you not as direct as they might have been in the past. There's a weariness about him that doesn't go away. Even when you try to talk to him, he tries to pull away, because, in his heart, he's going to feel like you're better off without him for quite a while. You have a gentle heart and so many people can abuse that.

He doesn't want to be someone like that, he doesn't want to become someone like the people who hurt him, and he can't imagine the thought of you making yourself vulnerable to him again on the off chance he has a bad day. His awareness of what he's done and what he needs to hold himself accountable for can sometimes go over the edge.

He may end up beating himself up more than anyone else would, and I imagine that sounds familiar, but what can you do? This is a difficult road... and even if he'd hate the idea of being like Jihyun Kim, there is just no denying this aspect they share. The only difference is Saeran wanting to do better and not wallow in self-misery... but it'll take him a while to figure out how to make the best choices for himself. At the very least, he wants to try.

Outside of the guilt in pain he's carrying, what good can you expect once he's found a place of peace? What can you expect after he's confronted his demons and he feels comfortable in his relationship with you? A partner who values spending time together, that’s for sure.

Saeran is happy you love him, and he doesn’t take it for granted. As hard as it is to talk about it, his favorite thing to do with you is to make meals. Far more than Ray, he likes making sure you’ve eaten well, and it’s not just to make up for what he did. He likes seeing you enjoy a meal. He likes being able to being teased by you, to feel your hand on his face as you nudge a spoon against his lips. He likes that you can do this together and it doesn't sting... it stings less and less the more you work together to make better memories.

(It was awful, horrible, and wrong. But, he later told you that not only was it meant to hurt you, it was meant to protect you, too. He knew they drugged the food with elixir and his not letting them feed you in that moment was because of his hurt and fear. It made no sense to him at the time but later on, it clicked.)

Parallel play. You don't have to be doing the same thing to enjoy time with him, and he just likes being in the same space as you. Sometimes, his health should have the two of you doing something separately so he doesn't feel as though there are odds stacked against him. He's still learning how to exist as himself, and as much as he wants to learn more about his existence by your side, he needs time to make sense of what he likes and what he doesn't like.

He wants the space to make mistakes and to learn from them by himself, but he knows if he needs help, you'll be there to help.

I will say if you want something light-hearted, the goofiest thing about him is that despite how it may seem on the surface, he's quite gullible, and you can trick him into doing quite a few things.

Of course, you should only use this for good, like getting him to try something new for dinner. In the end, he likes it when you do that, because something is empowering about knowing that you can push his buttons and stand your ground even in Normal situations. It's not that he wants you to push him around, it's just that he wants to know you can stand as his equal.

#character analysis #ge suit saeran

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sugahyeon · 10 months

Text

My takes on the current candidates and their opinions:

-Cellbit isn't a good candidate. He has really good ideas, strong leadership and is massively trusted. But i think we forget a bit fast that he got kidnapped not so long ago and lost all memories of said kidnapping. We don't know what they did to him. He could be brainwashed. He could get manipulated somehow. I trust q!Cellbit but i don't trust the Federation.

-Forever could be a good candidate but rely a bit much on the Federation? His ideas are great, like the lore museum and he is a major figure of the island (N.I.N.H.O for example). But thinking the Federation will help them is really forgetting what they did in the past imo. Ik he said he'd be against them but in what lengh? If he hopes to obtain their support, he'll have to behave after their rules (he also keeps interrupting other candidates to promote his ideas which makes it seems as if he doesn't listen at anyone imo (i still love him tho))

-Mike is great during debates! Only problem is that he doesn't speak that much, probably because of the language barrier, which is really sad, genuinely, because he has great ideas as well and is overall a good candidate. Outside of the debates tho, he did say multiples times that he wanted to be a dictator sooooo, i'm not so sure KNXKZNFZ

-Felps, sadly, didn't speak much during the first debate (which is fair since it was really chaotic). I don't really have an opinion since i don't know much about his projects so feel free to fill me in!

-Gegg is so based??? He's the only one who pointed out the necessity to start everything from the beginning and to leave behind the system the federation implanted. He also is very engaged towards community, trust, transparency and communication, in order to give everyone a voice and to honor each culture. Problem is, Gegg isn't good at surviving. Voting him might result in a dead end since he could die at any given moment. He also isn't loved by most people on the island and kinda distrusted (+the whole ''we are gegg'' thing kinda sounds like a dictatorship to me for some reason..?)

-Bbh is a great candidate, all for communication, rejection of the federation and constant protection of everyone. My only major problem with him is that i don't see him bringing much change to the island. As he said himself, he wants things to stay as they were prior to the elections, which seems counter productive. Otherwise, the council idea, as well as his desire to help everyone make him one of the best candidate imo.

-Etoiles didn't speak that much sadly, so other than his desire to install more security onto the island, idk much about his program. He could be a good candidate if he allowed himself to speak out more, since he has everyone's trust and has the best gear of the server.

-Baghera is one of the best candidate imo. The council idea is really good and she's really rejective of the federation as a whole. The main difference with Bbh is that she's wants change. She wants more communication, an actual way to allow everyone to realize their project, as a community while not relying on the Federation at all.

-El Quackity is the worst candidate (lore wise). He blew up a building, trying to kill eggs AND candidates, left the debate earlier today for some reasons? And is obviously linked in some way to the Federation. He proved himself to not be trustworthy as he lied to the other characters as well as his public. He wants to reinforce the rules of the Federation, to work with them and is willing to do ANYTHING if it helps the island (which sounds good until you know he gets to decide what is best for the island on HIS OWN)

-Foolish is overall really sus recently and tried multiples times to befriend Cucurucho. He wants to be a dictator of some kind and his main goal is to favorize his family (which is cute but still a dictatorship). He's a really funny candidate tho and some of his ideas are quite good! I think he could actually be a decent candidate if he tried to be one. But he doesn't really care about getting elected soooo-

For now, this is my analysis/opinions on the candidates! Of course i didn't cover everything and i might have misunderstood some points that were made today. Don't hesitate to rectify me or to tell me your opinions!

[EDIT] I thought cellbit's white hair was a stress reaction due to his kidnapping. This got corrected in comments/reblogs

#qsmp #qsmp eggs #qsmp liveblog #qsmp spoilers #qsmp liveblogging #baghera 2023 #q!quackity #q!badboyhalo #qsmp forever #qsmp felps #qsmp cellbit #qsmp etoiles #qsmp gegg #qsmp foolish #mike qsmp #qsmp analysis

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notmorbid · 7 months

Text

my government means to kill me.

dialogue prompts from my government means to kill me: a novel by rasheed newson.

i didn't miss the money. not at first.

you can stay as long as you want.

i'll scream if i need you.

i grew up starved for affection.

lust is a universal language.

you're the exact opposite of my father.

you'll do the right things in your own time.

i've seen enough evil in men to smell it on the ones who try to hide it inside.

closet cases love me.

close the door, sit down, and tell me everything.

your challenges are different, but no less legitimate.

it's not a lie if you live up to it, make it true.

neighbors are naturally curious about each other. you can ask me anything.

we're all adults here. we can't talk about sex?

you need to keep your inner smart-ass in check.

all the wrong people are dead.

you're an evil bastard, but you're not stupid.

don't punk out now.

you split on me.

it was your plan, and you left me holding the bag.

do you go around writing sad stories for everyone?

you got moxie, no doubt about that.

why'd you go through with it?

do you do whatever you're ordered to do?

what keeps driving you? what keeps you from burning out?

i don't know what makes you tick. what's your selfish goal?

i just want to wake up one morning and feel like a good person.

when death decides to come for you, it's out of your hands.

you don't have to admit i'm right. i already know i am.

how do you keep going?

how much are they paying you to torture me with this nonsense?

women feel the need because they see a need.

you're a sweetheart, i can tell.

since when do you back down from a fight?

goodie, i love long stories. tell it to me.

i wasn't prepared to like you so damn much.

don't promise anything. i like surprises.

what am i walking into?

good intentions will not sustain you.

i'd say 'no offense taken', but i really mean 'fuck you'.

it is difficult for the young to understand the structures of the past.

i'm too poor to be a smart-ass.

you've got a lot going for you.

no one takes their principles to work with them.

i can't afford to indulge my grief.

i haven't cried yet.

i'm glad you weren't alone.

do you wish you'd done more?

there isn't much time left to save you.

the law doesn't apply to law enforcement.

i'm not even convinced 'better' is possible.

this is a hell of a time to joke, even for you.

keep your eye on the sparrow, not the lost lamb.

i didn't realize i was meant to chase after you.

let's have a real conversation for once.

your life will improve tenfold the day you learn to listen.

pick a story, any story, that you can accept. and move on.

i've made it my business to learn how to read you.

i'm trying to be a hero, but what if i'm a villain?

villains never stop to consider that they did anything wrong.

you caught feelings for a mark.

'sorry' would mean i'd do it differently, and i wouldn't.

you'll land on your feet. you always do.

#rp meme #rp memes #sentence starters #ask memes #inbox memes #ask meme #lgbt #historical meme

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pruskita · 2 months

Text

Something I have on my mind about Papi

Okay, I don't know how to start this or what

So... Someone here relates Kirby characters to some song that has nothing to do with it, I do and that's what I'm going to talk about today because yesterday night I cried because of the song I relate to To Papi

youtube

FIRST OF ALL THIS SONG MAKES ME CRY RIVERS BECAUSE OF THE PLOT

So if you want you can go listen to things that you won't regret because it's a beautiful song.

And you will tell me what this has to do with Papi or well my version of the character. Basically, I got inspiration for my story from this song. If someone saw a comic of mine a while back where you see the puffs at the end of the battle with Void and Meta gets something on his head.

Well that something was nothing more and nothing less than the body of a dead puff baby and that puff baby was Papi and is filled with the feelings of love and affection that Void received from everyone, but when they sealed her again, she felt pity and that caused her to lose a son.

Papi's soul reaches Hades and due to the situation they make him a knight of Hades so that he has at least a chance to have grown as he should have in life. Meanwhile, Meta enters a depressive state because of everything that happened and in his maintenance he says that the love for the baby he should have taken care of

And after a few years Meta enters Hades due to a coma that caused him a battle where he almost died, but in that coma Meta meets Papi's soul. And none of them recognize each other, Papi because he couldn't see anything at the time of birth and die and Meta because Papi's soul doesn't look like the baby he lost. But in that coma the two become friends, very close friends, and Meta tells himself that he is going to take care of the little puff like he should have done with the one he lost, while Papi tells himself that he is going to help A goal to overcome that loss

And in the end Meta ends up taking care of Papi as if he were his own son and that basically means that Meta can take care of the baby that he lost but without him knowing that it is the baby, but still fills him with love

And Papi (not even he knows what the baby that fell to Meta) was always happy that Meta was okay and told him not to look sad when he thinks about the baby because his soul must be in a better place. And he may not look at him with sadness in the place where he died, because he knows that in a moment the two of them will meet again and they could be a family.

And the two of them already met but neither of them recognize each other but they still love each other like father and son.

LES JURO QUE AYER LLORE A LAS 2 DE LA MAÑANA NO MAS POR PENSAR EN ELLOS DOS 😭😭😭

#kirby fanart #kirby au #meta knight #Kirby papi #little papi #meta knight fanart #Necesitaba sacar esto de mi sistema 😭#papi kirby #Youtube #kirby headcanon #Kirby hc

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kimbap-r0ll · 2 years

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For requests, how about a scenario where Reader gets into an accident and forgets that they are the SO of the housewardens? And then as they slowly recover from their injury, they end up falling in love with their vice housewarden instead? For Leona pretend that its Ruggie and for Idia….just have it be a dorm rando. Time for a little bit of angst!

Omg wait that's really sad haha. Thank you for the ask! For Idia I have decided to go with Cater

Dorm Leaders with an s/o who loses their memory and falls for the vice dorm leaders instead

Riddle

He was so worried about you, he couldn't believe the accident that you got into and hoped that you were alright. When he ran to the infirmary, he realized thankfully you looked fine, but the nurse said your memories might be the ones in injury

Riddle tried to cope it. He would talk to you all day whenever he could when you woke up, but he knew he couldn't just run to you saying that you were his lover. He took it slowly, but perhaps his strict nature didn't work well with you since you seemed to find comfort in another softer Heartslabyul student

Trey had been visiting you whenever RIddle did and sometimes he went in Riddle's place because he was busy with dorm leader duties. He would listen to whatever you had to say and sometimes bring treats. You found comfort in his chill attitude, not the worried look Riddle always had on his face. You thought perhaps he was the one that you were dating before since Trey kept mentioning you were in love with someone.

Riddle suspects something's amiss but doesn't push you to learn what is going on. He only finds out after you leave the infirmary and run to Trey. "Ah, I'm glad to see you too!" Trey says awkwardly, glancing at Riddle and then back at you. Riddle is silent, but he sighs and nods. "I'm just glad you're safe."

Riddle will think this is his failure. He failed to take care of you, he wasn't the boyfriend you deserved. Though Trey may not feel the same way for you, Riddle knows you like him. For now, he shelves his goal to bring back the past and keeps the memories he had with you close to his heart. He'll still talk to you, but you may notice a sad look in his eyes

Leona

He didn't think you were in a serious accident until Ruggie kept trying to drag Leona out of his room to meet you. You were in the infirmary for a few hours now and hadn't returned. Leona was worried for you but didn't think he had to go, but oh well he went

Leona doesn't try to push you to tell him everything, he just asks if you're hurting anywhere. But when you ask him who he is, he suddenly has a look of urgency. "Y/n, don't tell me you lost your memories," Leona says. The nurse explains to him what had happened, and now Leona's really concerned.

He tries to help you regain your memories but with his schedule and his natural laid-back personality, he doesn't come as often as you would expect. Instead, he might send Ruggie to do most of the talking. This ends up making you two close, or at least makes you attached to the hyena student.

Once you leave the infirmary, you go looking for Ruggie to say thank you for everything he's done to help you. You don't remember a lot from the past, but you do remember there was a person who would always be with you and whom you called your "love." So, you assumed it was Ruggie. When Leona and Ruggie saw you, you ran over and hugged the vice leader.

Leona feared this might happen but never considered it. Now that it has happened, he doesn't know what to do. Should he do something about Ruggie? No, he can't do that, after all, perhaps this was all Leona's fault. Similar to Riddle, he will think it's his failure to take care of you and just tell himself that he wasn't good enough. He will stay away from you to keep his heart from hurting more

Azul

He's basically running from his class to the infirmary when he hears about this from one of the tweels. He can't believe that you got hurt, were you okay? When he sees you lying in one of the infirmary beds, he tries to wake you up but the nurse stops him, saying that you need to wake up on your own for your own health

It turns out that whatever hit you took your memories, only leaving a few key memories but blurring them a bit. Azul's scared you forgot about him, and the moment you wake up bombards you with information and questions. You get overwhelmed and end up pushing him away.

He does calm down a bit, but he continuously asks you everyday "do you remember anything about me?" You end up thinking he's full of himself, or perhaps, maybe just a bit, insecure. Jade does visit you too whenever Azul can't make it. Jade is much calmer, not pushing your already strained mind. That's what makes you think he's caring. You two end up spending more time together than Jade expected, with you slowly falling for him.

When you are able to go to classes again, Azul's the one to greet you first out the infirmary. But when he opens his arms and says welcome back, you don't greet him and coldly asks "where's Jade?" Azul pauses. Why were you looking for Jade? "I think he was my boyfriend, at least from my memories, right? I need to apologize for burdening him."

Azul feels his heart stop. This was the last thing he expected to happen. Out of all people, you thought Jade was your lover, Jade! Azul shakes his head, but before you can ask him anything else, he's speed walking down the hallway opposite of you. He doesn't want to deal with this at the moment, instead he needs somewhere private to hide his tears. He knew he was a worthless octopus, but he didn't think he could lose you. You were the one person he thought he could finally be with, but he lost you.

Kalim

He's like Azul in the case of running to you and asking you a bunch of questions. Kalim cares for you too much, but that can sometimes feel intrusive and because of that you push him away at first. The nurse also tells him that it's better for your mental health to take things slowly

Kalim visits you a lot, but sometimes he can't make it. Because of that Jamil's the one to deliver most of the questions and gifts. Jamil's calm, never too energetic, and not to mention very understanding of you. He doesn't push you and seems concerned for your health perhaps more than Kalim.

You remember that you asked someone out and went on carpet rides with them. But who was it? The face was blurred, but you knew it was someone in the school. With the way Jamil would gently place his hand on yours while telling you to not push your health you thought perhaps this guy was the one you fell for

Once out of the hospital, you go looking for Jamil. You made sure not to tell Kalim you were out since you didn't want to get tackled (he almost did that during one of his visits). You end up finding Jamil in the hallway, and he just says hello and that he's happy to see you before walking away with Trey but you stop him. "I wanted to thank you, and, that I think I remember who I was with, I think it was you." Your words cause Jamil to look at you with a confused look, not to mention a look of panic.

Kalim makes a horrible timing by coming out of the near classroom and exclaiming he's happy to see you. Jamil quickly leaves the scene with Trey, saying he needs to go. Kalim notices you looking at Jamil walking away while ignoring Kalim, and that's when he realizes what's going on. "Ah, he'll be done with classes at 3 today, he'll be back in Scarabia's lounge by then," he says. He feels his heart hurting, but he doesn't want to see you sad either. This dilemma is what causes him to stop his questions

Vil

He didn't think there would be any consequences to ignoring Rook's words that you were in the infirmary with a horrible injury. Just another dramatic Rook, Vil would say to himself. But he was so, so wrong

Vil did show up to check on you often. He did care for you deeply, but his work would always be in the way. He did find out that you had memory loss, and knowing that pushing you would be bad, Vil kept his distance. He would ask you if you were alright but he was so...stoic. It came from his fear of hurting you to be honest, but perhaps that was the curse of being too careful

Rook on the other hand was almost bombastic with his talking. He wasn't stern with his questions, he would joke around with you and often tell tales that made you laugh and look at him with intrigued eyes. You knew you were in a relationship with someone, but it had to be with the guy that would spend five hours at a time with you just to talk to you about whatever

Once you were out of the infirmary, you immediately went to go look for Rook. Rook was with Vil at that time, discussing how Vil needed to try voice acting for a new movie when you called out Rook's name. Both Pomefiore students looked up, and before Vil could say "Y/n you're back" you had run up and hugged Rook.

Rook could feel Vil staring at him while Rook was just patting your back and saying "Oui, I'm glad you're out of the infirmary now." Vil didn't have to ask any questions to know what was going on, he had worried about your memories being mixed up but that was on Vil. Even if Vil wanted to find a way to remind you who you were originally with, at the moment Vil was too overwhelmed to do anything other than ask you to stop. "Why?" you asked, but Vil didn't respond and just left. Rook would also try to convince you that the two of you weren't dating, but words can only go so far, right?

Idia

He was so worried for you when he heard you were hurt. He kept trying to visit you but his fear of people, especially the overly extroverted nurses, kept him away from entering the infirmary. Instead he would send text messages or try to call you, which only worked a bit

Cater on the other hand, a friend of yours from classes, would visit you every day. Face to face conversations all the time too. He would share what they did in class to you, sometimes he would talk about Lilia's attempts at covering a ballad, etc.

You found yourself enjoying the conversations, and slowly you warmed up to him. He was kind, funny, and just overall a very good person for you to talk to. It was different from the texts you got that were a bit disconnected from the face-to-face conversations you needed. You knew you had a boyfriend, and it made sense that the person to visit you cared for you

Once you left the infirmary, you went to the Heartslabyul rose garden. You assumed he would be there since that was a place he mentioned he liked to study, and he was there! You thanked him for being with you, and then confessed that you remember the two of you being together. Cater paused, then laughed and said "Ah, is that so? You don't think it was a certain, blue-haired dorm leader?"

Cater doesn't want to sound mean, but he's seriously confused. You liked Idia and even told him that first! Idia on the other hand, is wondering where you are. He does manage to run into you in the hallway when you're coming back from talking to Cater and when he tries to talk to you, you just walk past him. He stops, was this a curse he placed on himself? He knew his introverted personality could affect the relationship, so maybe this was his fault. He doesn't know if he should follow you, and because of that he doesn't try to run after you

Malleus

The whole building shook when the news was delivered to the fae prince. He knew the fragility of humans and was extremely worried about you. He ran to the infirmary to make sure you were alright. It turned out that you were fine but your memories weren't

He visited you everyday. He stayed with you overnight on some occasions too, but you couldn't help feel uneasy with how much he was in your life. Sure it was nice to have him care for you, and you knew he cared. But, sometimes it felt like it was all too much

In comes Lilia, a figure that would sometimes visit with Malleus and sometimes by himself. He was playful and knew to keep things simple between the two of you. It gave you room to breathe, and because of that you slowly found him to be someone you found comfort in. Perhaps this was the person you had fallen in love with?

You end up looking for Lilia the moment you're out of the infirmary. Malleus finds you and runs up to you, saying how glad he is to see you healthy again. But you sigh and tell him that you're looking for someone. "Where's Lilia? I need to apologize to him for forgetting he was my boyfriend," you laugh awkwardly. Malleus looks at you with a surprised expression, but it slowly becomes serious. "Y/n, what do you mean?"

This is the one situation where it could get dangerous. He could just give up on finding a relationship and finding someone he can be happy with. He might tell himself it was his fault for failing to understand you and direct you to Lilia. Or, if it's particularly a bad day, he could overblot a few minutes after you explain that Malleus can't be your boyfriend.

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chatlote · 5 months

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Please. Share more info about the maruki adopts akechi au. IM INVESTED

Anything about the PT in this au? Would Akechi meet them? (Drama? Romance?)

Thank you sm for being interested! Theres SO MUCH I can say that I wouldnt be sure where to start so I will focus on the ones you did ask!

The phantom thieves are very much in this universe as well. And Akechi will join them eventually, he approaches them himself when he realizes that maybe Maruki isn't following through their cause properly. He requests them to change Maruki heart along with him for the sake of making sure the world the envision will truly be good. (Obviously this will all blow up into Akechi breaking out of brainwashing as they explore the palace)

I will copy a snippet of my notes about the fact that he is part of Shujin academy as well and how he Joker first meet! And reply to the romance question under cut!

"Akechi would be the vice president of the student council and has a general reputation of being approachable and kind and that venting about your problems to him always helps. He doesn't always use his powers it's just a general he Helps just by listening. The entire school is rumors of how kind and pretty is the counselor and his son. They might not look alike but everyone is like they are so similar it's so true this school will always be at peace with them. Then akiren charges in. And it's not like he brainwashed the whole school so rumors start, it's unpleasant and akechi won't have that its not their goal. He changes the person who started the rumors but that doesn't stop it and they can't make their plans too obvious he can't change everyone so he approaches akiren with the goal of knowing how he is doing if he should just change him into someone 'calm' and maybe the rumors would go away on their own. But he realizes akiren is … harmless and kind? There's nothing there to even rumor about. Maybe it's because akechi is there and he is pretending? He decides he wants to keep in contact he wants akiren to keep in touch to know if he will adjust well if he can give names if someone does something to him and funny enough akiren agrees in a similar reason of, tell me if there seems to be a big person that the students are worried about (so the thieves can change them) Basically they are each other new source of info for side quests. Also joker figures it out after kamoshida because the entire school seems to be Too Calm and Too Okay with what just happened. Something akechi slipped with Morgana there makes him realize Akechi has some powers too and maybe that's why."

As for romance, I'm obviously a shuake fan if you have glanced at my blog. Basically there would indeed be a endgame with the two of them but things are a bit more complicated than that. Because for Akechi to heal and accept himself after Maruki brainwash breaks, he needs Joker to not have loved his pleasant self. Unlike canon it's not like that's a version of him he was just pretending to be, it's a version of him that existed out of his control.

So basically while they have feelings for each other before it a bit, even though Maruki says he shouldnt (making this one of the few things Akechi has picked out of his own free will) and Joker mostly likes him as a friend. Their relationship mostly develops as in a similar way to Sumire Rank5-10, Joker spends time with Akechi figuring out together what 'Akechi' even is as a person, its been all 4 years since he has been under control, and now all he has is Anger and Sadness at his manipulation and forgotten memories that came back. Joker is the one who introduces him to competitive games like darts and shogi this time around. The most validating thing Joker does for Akechi is loving his anger more than his politeness in the end.

#maruki adopts akechi au #using that as a tag for easier finding #this is still just a very small portion of my notes I feel like so #any more specific questions feel free to ask >:) !

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azyimnothere · 8 months

Text

4th July

Page 25,26,27:

"It was quite a night, I have to admit. Only thing I can wrap my head around about this is, that I expected it. I knew it would happen, just didn't know it'll happen like this specifically. You were sleeping over last night, I was jittery all day before it because of the mare excitement it caused me, not because I was lonely in need of company, it's because you are truly something. You're confusing, you confuse me all the time, like a wall is all I can describe you as. You're expressive in your own way, I see that, you're in no way barricaded from your emotions, as it looks like, but yet I still feel it's something you tend to put up for the sake of others and not yourself. I knew I won't find anything if I look deeply into your eyes the way you like, or hear it in the tone of your voice, or see it in twich of your mouth, flap of your hands, tap of your leg and posture of your back. That's where that wall is, in front of your soul so no one can be genuinely let in. No one has ever saw you cry, not even Barnaby, so I thought, maybe I can make you crumble the wall one day and see what's inside. No one builds a wall around something that's nothing to hide. It sounds selfish and curious, I know that, but one can stay put for so long, you need to let even the strongest chain relax and let go of all the pressure it might be holding. So it doesn't snap, since it's not indestructible.

You came over with that relaxed smile you always own, nothing seemed wrong really, I had rather high expectation placed on my shoulders for that night, it was my secret little goal.

The night went nicely and you were happy with relaxing activities we took on, I got us everything to paint, bake and have a movie marathon. Classic thing you did with your friend on a sleepover, conveniently so it was things you found the most. I won't say that one thing lent to another, no, trough the whole night I could see the pure joy radiating from your body and words, but yet I caught you staring sometimes with your mouth agape before it closed, you were restricting yourself to talk. But you wanted to talk, you wanted to talk to me because you knew that I know, you thought that no one waited so long to find pieces of you before.

We were listening to music from my barely used gramophone, songs from the golden days of old. We talked with a cup of camomile tea with honey added in, to make us relax before, sleep? If we were gonna sleep, at the time I didn't know. It started to feel like i was failing, I wasn't upset at all really, it wasn't a deadlined project or a task, just a goal I thought would be beneficial for both. But with my giving up for that night, that's when you broke.

I noticed how your breathing fastened just a little and you thought over your sentences much more, you wanted to get 'the' theme on board. You asked me if I'm really here, and I was confused but didn't say no. You asked if I am willing to listen and I answered positively so.

I asked my classic 'what's wrong?', you said that it was something unusual, that something wrong was going on. You said something is not letting you feel like yourself and that you felt exhausted restraining it, hiding it away so no one can even guess that you're going through something. You looked numb and your eyes were on the floor, you said you are scared of what might happen to you in your own Home. You looked at me like you were looking at a bedroom wall, like I was nothing that can judge and am a place you can be venerable. Your smile didn't budge from your face until you decided to finally let it fall, the symbol of you masking all the sadness and exhaustion up.

You let the loudest sob that was enough for me to feel the pain it radiated in a physical form, you started to cry more as your walls brick by brick crumbled. I sat besides you as the it continued on, we forgot to turn the lights on from the movie we watched before, only sounds I heard was tv static, soft music and your loud sobbs. Eventually you scooted closer, letting me touch you as your cries didn't stop, I embraced you the closest I could in a way it's comfortable. Your body shook, the moment you were close your loud sobbs became screams, not of fear, nor agony, just pure intensity of your own emotions that you didn't allow yourself to feel. But when you did, you did it like it's the first and the last time you'll get to do such a thing. Because of it all I cried on my own, I didn't expect it to feel so painful.

You sleept in my bed last night, looked into my eyes and I realized how different your gaze feels now, your eyes red and bloodshot. They felt distant, sad and tired, you felt so open in that moment.

I don't know from where to go now that it happened, I just hope it didn't see. "

-Felix

Hello lovely people💕💕💕

So here's this little thing I might start doing where we're able to take a little look at Felix's journal where he talks about some happenings in his life or his feelings. They will be randomly put in and probably won't follow any sort of order (´。＿。｀)

I hope you like it thought!!!I put as much effort as I could with my limited time

Love you lovelies 💕💕💕

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moon-blanket · 6 months

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Regulus and Ivan are a little too unnerving for me to listen to, but Hush is here !!! I can dig that !!

The low whispering in the beginning really got me, and then i got Scared by the tone change !!!! Egads !!!!

Oh, this is a different person ! I thought it as Hush ! That makes me feel a little better !

Describing all of his powers like !! yeah that's our baby !! So proud of him :)

Hush immediately showing up and killing them Right in from of Doc LMAO !! Hello my dear !! That sounded a little brutal !

Oh he offers to make them dinner to help them feel better :( also because he knows they Need to eat to live. He's been trying to learn so many things in order to help them !

"I don't like it when I contribute to your nervousness. I like it better when you feel good around me." oh okay i'm laying in the road about this.

He doesn't feed on emotions (or anything for that matter), therefore doesn't have as good of an understanding about them ! That's interesting ! He has more context about negative emotions, because that's what people feel around him :(

He laughed !! he laughed at their questions !! sobbing !

They had this Whole conversation while a corpse was just On the ground. How lovely lmao !!!!

Oh, he's going to free the Sovereigns ! How many people are goin' after these guys !! Leave them in their freakin' cage !!!

They're rightfully nervous about that ! I would be too ! Hush I know you're trying So hard to comfort them, but everything you say sounds ominous as Fuck !!

Doc is a Freelancer !!!! Three Freelancer listeners !! We're on a roll !!!

Hush has no core, therefore he can't Bridge in the sense that humans can. How interesting !

Hush comparing himself to the space between the links of the Spellsong. The silence of it. That's such a fun way to show the contrast of what he is compared to demons.

"Sometimes, to be silent is the most powerful thing a song can be." woooah. Hey everything makes sense. I'm connecting the dots.

Him acknowledging that he probably shouldn't have divulged that information, but it's the first time he actively wanted to share something of that nature. He's growing. :')

Doc asking about what happens after his goal is achieved. And him haven't ever thought about it. :( He was given form and purpose, and without purpose he has no use for form-- or use to be anything. And if he doesn't need to exist, he shouldn't. That's kind of sad. Especially now that he's growing to be his own being outside of the "purpose."

Doc expressing feelings that Hush doesn't understand, and them saying they'll tell him later :((( and then he offers to make them dinner, and is excited to learn from them. What if i just laid down and cried into the floor. What of it huh.

This was so nice. It's always a fun time learning about Hush and what his deal is.

#redacted audio #redacted asmr #redacted spoilers #moon's thoughts #redacted hush #Hush babygirl you're such a mystery. Lets fall in love about it.

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