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#listen I love her characters I love her acting she was so good
xxbimbobunnyxx · 2 days
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Introducing: The Sanrio Girlies
So this cute ass idea came to me to make readers based off the Sanrio characters and I kind of just ran with it. It turned into a whole ass little AU. I had so much fun doing this, it’s been a minute since I got lost in creating something for hours. I do have main pairings in my mind for all of them BUT they’re absolutely interchangeable. I can see them all together for different reasons. I have so much LORE about them so feel free to send me asks about this lil universe. I’ll def be posting more about them because they are my babies and I’m proud of them. Tag yourself, I’m Kuromi. (Yes I self inserted)
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Kuromi Reader
Trashy Y2K emo princess. Rebellious kook whose parents never agreed with her style or life choices. Hates driving, she was born for the passenger seat. Acts super bitchy but under the surface is a die hard romantic. Has never had a day job. Kind of unhinged, she will slash your tires if you do her wrong. Halloween obsessed. Has an OnlyFans. Reads romance novels in her free time. Spoiled brat. Has a tramp stamp. She’s the friend that says she’s “really not going to get that drunk tonight” but ends up getting dragged out of the party because she’s more wasted than everyone else, trying to fight people twice her size. In my AU she is Rafe’s girl but I could also see her and Jj being together.
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My Melody Reader
Cute lil bimbo core baddie. Kook but spends all her time with the pouges. She grew up with rich her grandma who taught her everything about baking, sewing, and being a lady. Shops till she drops. Total empath. She loves doing things and buying things for the people she loves. The sweetest person you’ll ever meet until you mess with someone she cares about. Loves all things pink. Extremely smart despite her outward appearance. Neat and tidy. She thinks she’s responsible but she goes shopping at least twice a week, doesn’t have a job, and party’s every weekend. In my AU she is John B’s girl But I could also see her being with Rafe.
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Batz Maru Reader
Total grungy tomboy. Pouge. Super sarcastic. Has a bunch of tiny little tattoos. Loves horror movies. Skates. Plays video games. She has hardcore mommy issues but has a bad ass metal head dad who owns an auto shop where she works. She’s always up to no good. If it’s not spray painting her literal name on shit and skateboarding on private property, it’s getting stoned out of her mind and blasting music so loud the whole neighborhood hears it. She’ll never tell anyone she has pink lingerie under all of that either. Batz is 100% Jj’s girl but I could also see her being with John B.
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Keroppi Reader
She’s a multifaceted girlie. She’s a total boho beach bum but even when she’s on the beach she’s studying. Sporty. Played almost every sport in high school and was always the top of her class. Pouge. Total yogi. Going to school to be a veterinarian. Kind of a health nut, watches what she eats all week but let’s lose on the weekends with the girlies. Down to earth lover girl. She’s always there to listen when you need her and gives the best advice. Even if she is a little blunt about it. In my AU she is Pope’s Girl but I could also she her being with John B.
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Cinnamon Roll Reader
Coquette soft girl. Shy and quiet until you get to know her. Professional Ballerina. Loves baby blue so much it’s part of her personality at this point. Kook. She grew up spoiled and sheltered so she’s a little clueless sometimes. Definitely has a planner and a strict daily routine. Loves to snack even though her ballet instructor tells her not to. Self care queen. Cry baby. Spends most of her time practicing for recitals and day dreaming. Cinna is kind of a wild card, I couldn’t decide who to pair her with, my first instinct is to make her Rafe’s girl but I could also see her and Jj being a polar opposite couple that balance each other out.
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blackbird-brewster · 2 days
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Meta: Jemily Queerbaiting
With the huge influx of posts saying 'Jemily is gonna be canon', I really appreciated seeing this post because OP was completely correct. I didn't want to write an entire dissertation as a reply, so I'm making my own post with my personal opinion on this. (All sources are noted in footnotes)
Before I began this rant, for anyone who thinks this is anti-Jemily. It is not. I have shipped Jemily for 18 friggin years and that's never going to change. This post is specifically my thoughts about queer baiting.
First off, I need to note that the showrunners (and the cast members who use social media) KNOW what a huge queer following this show has and that's why we got pansexual Tara Lewis in S16 [1]. Which, in itself, was SOOOOOOO important!!! Our first canonically queer main in SIXTEEN seasons was a middle-aged Black woman!!! That's phenomenal. (The fact it was horrible rep, because they instantly ruined her relationships once her queerness served it's plot point is a whole other post entirely)
In my opinion, the 'big Jemily moment' Paget posted about on Twitter [2] (and AJ hinted at during a recent IG live) is simply queerbaiting to get people to watch S17. I know a lot of you are newer to the fandom and I love your enthusiasm, I really do, ship and let ship, but listen, let's be real, Jemily is not going to be made canon. The showrunners aren't going to suddenly say (after 17 seasons) 'Surprise, Jemily is endgame'. This show has never cared about queer rep and now that CBS/Paramount have already ticked their queer rep box with Tara, they won't be in any rush to add any other characters to it.
Please buckle in, I've got a lot of thoughts on this matter --
What is Queerbaiting?
If you aren't aware of what queerbaiting is, here's a good definition:
Historically, queerbaiting has carried two meanings: the first is an act of aggressive heterosexuality to shut down queer subtext on screen while still teasing and catering to the queer audience in advertising, public relations, and fan engagement strategies; the second is an existing homoerotic tension between two characters played up on screen while met with derision by the professionals behind the scenes. [3]
The Medium article quoted here is from 2017, a time when parasocial relationships were really starting to take over social media. In 2024, actors are now only a mention or tag away online, they have direct conversations with fans, and this process has allowed for an even deeper form of queerbaiting.
Oftentimes online, actors are asked directly about certain ships and while some ignore these questions (usually to avoid breaking their contracts or other repercussions), others (looking at you, Paget) choose to instead tease fans about queer ships. She's done this for years upon years and if I've learned anything in the past twenty-years of existing in fandom spaces it's this -- don't hold your breath. In it's original meaning, for something to be deemed as queerbaiting there had to be malicious, or at least, purposeful intent to string queer fans along by teasing them with suggestive content about the ship in question, while knowing this ship will never come to fruition in canon.
The thing to remember is, Paget and AJ aren't the only ones who know about Jemily shippers -- the network and showrunners are well aware of this ship too. When networks/showrunners figure out they have a strong sapphic fanbase, they love to use that to their advantage to get more viewers and higher ratings. Queerbaiting is a goldmine to keep fans watching long running shows, look at Rizzoli and Isles, Supergirl, and OUAT for examples of this.
Jemily and Queerbaiting:
Ever since Emily joined the BAU in S2 (2006), there have always been fans who ship JJ/Emily (shoutout to the old LJ forums!). Way before celebs were just a tweet away from fans, back when all our fics began with disclaimers so we wouldn't get sued by networks, we went to great lengths to keep our fanworks far removed from actors/showrunners attention.
As far as Jemily goes, this reply from Paget in a 2009 interview with TVGuide.com [4] (which has now been deleted from their site unfortunately, but there are quotes on Tumblr still [4.a]) confirmed some fans' worst fear -- the actors had found our fanworks online.
TVGuide.com: Of course, a band of fans want her to hook up with Hotch.
Brewster: I know! I didn't realize that fans make these videos on YouTube? A.J. Cook sent me a hilarious one that made it look like Prentiss and J.J. were having a secret lesbian affair. You know, when Hotch was blown up in the SUV, we shot this scene where he's in the hospital and I'm standing next to him, looking at his bleeding ear. Our director came in and said, "Paget, you're looking at Hotch like you're in love with him. It looks really weird." So now, every day, Thomas [Gibson] and I flutter our eyelids at each other.
This was the first time I recall anyone acknowledging Jemily shippers publicly and at the time (Jan 2009), the show was still in Season Four (just before CBS fired both AJ and Paget [5]). Paget genuinely said it's 'hilarious' that fans shipped JJ/Emily. Even now, I'll see people say 'We know Paget and AJ have seen Jemily fanvids, so they obviously ship it too' -- but those same people rarely acknowledge the full context of the original answer. Paget not only thought JJ/Emily were 'hilarious', but then she doubled down and turned her reply back to how she and Thomas liked to play up the chemistry between Emily/Hotch.
While no one can say for sure which video it was that AJ sent Paget, just knowing they were watching JJ/Emily fanvids sent a bit of a shockwave through the femslash side of the fandom. To some it felt like an invasion of privacy, fanworks are by fans for fans -- knowing the cast were poking around in fandom spaces added an extra layer of worry around what we fans were posting online. Fifteen years ago, it used to be quite taboo for actors to outwardly discuss shipping or other fanon for whatever show they were in, and we fans were usually comfortably removed from the actors altogether.
Of course, now it's the norm for fans and actors/showrunners to co-exist online and interact with one another. This connection has opened new ways for shows to queerbait their fans. Pretty much every show has some form of social media account now and there is no doubt that the people running those accounts keep up with the most popular ships and hashtags. Not to mention that actors are constantly barraged with questions about whether they ship their character with x,y,z, or whether they think a ship should be made canon, etc. These interactions only serve to benefit the shows themselves, because whether the conversation is for or against a certain ship, it's all just free publicity (Why do you think CM now has a TikTok account?)
Every time AJ or Paget say anything about Jemily, the queer side of the fandom loses their minds. But this has been going on for YEARS now and every single time, it turns out to be nothing but social media hype and queerbaiting. Remember this AJ post? [6] Or what about the notorious reply by Paget to a fan, where she talks about how she and AJ held hands under the table 'for the shippers' [7] I've seen this cycle over and over again, so perhaps I am cynical, but I'm not getting my hopes up that Jemily will ever seriously be canon.
It's widely known now, after both Kirsten [8] and Paget [9] have talked about it, that there was an early idea where Prentiss was supposed to be queer, but that was ultimately scraped before it ever made it on screen. For context, please remember, this show has been airing for nearly twenty years. It began in 2005, during the highly conservative Bush administration. Queer people didn't have rights in the US, we couldn't get married, we were rarely protected under discrimination laws, and we could even be fired for simply being queer (in some states). Diverse queer representation on screen was extremely limited to things like 'The L Word' and 'Queer as Folk' (both aired on Showtime, so they were behind a paywall. And as far as tLw goes, that show was extremely male-gaze focused and is horrible in nearly all regards if you try to rewatch it now). As far as prime time shows went, queer rep was even more rare. Which is why Emily wasn't queer from the get-go.
Yes, things have changed since 2006 in terms of queer rep on TV. We have a myriad of queer identities represented in TV and film nowadays, which is why I think it's so easy for newer fans to say 'lf she was supposed to be gay anyway, they should just make Emily queer in canon!' I know this is what fuels most fans' demands for Emily being confirmed queer, and I get it, I DO. I would be all for it! However, I do not, in one hundred years, actually believe that is going to happen after they already canonically queer confirmed Tara in S16. The fact we even got ONE queer character is ground-breaking for this show.
It's also worth noting, that in the time between Paget's departure in 2012 and her return in 2016, she became very active on Twitter. This was when more and more fans began asking her about Jemily and after Kirsten's AfterEllen interview, fans also pushed for Paget to address the possibility of Emily being gay. 'Pushed' is actually an understatement for some of the outright harassment she would receive. (AJ received some of this harassment too, but less so because she doesn't use social media ass often) Back then, neither of them replied to these things directly. Yet, no matter what either woman posted, the replies were full of Jemily stans begging for her acknowledgement. (Did you know 'stan' is literally a term coined for stalker fans?) I remember one time AJ's friend was missing and she posted info on her IG about it, you know what the replies were? People asking her about Jemily. It was genuinely sickening.
Within this context, it was no surprise to fans when Emily came back in S12 , she and JJ's friendship was seemingly erased. The two women were rarely on screen together in the late seasons, plus the writers saw fit to even give Emily not only one (Mark in London, but two, on-screen boyfriends for the first time in the entire series. I personally do not think these changes to Emily's character were coincidence, I saw the hellscape of what people would say to AJ and Paget online and I fully believe that upon Paget's return to the show, the showrunners purposely tried to distance JJ and Emily to dissuade the more abusive side of the fanbase.
Can I prove that, no. But it is the only reason I can think of as to why Emily S12+ seemingly didn't care about JJ anymore, despite their deep and meaningful friendship. I mean, they both CROSSED THE WORLD to go rescue each other in prior canon -- but when Emily comes back, they acted like they barely knew each other. This was even more prevalent in S16, when JJ's main storylines all revolved around Will, and Emily barely looked at JJ in the entirety of ten episodes. (Remember how Prentiss didn't even hug JJ after bomb, but she did go hug Luke?)
So, do Paget and AJ earnestly ship Jemily, or are they continuing the long tradition of queerbaiting us? Who fucking knows, not me. But based on the history of this fandom, I think I can make a safe bet. (Interestingly, if you search all of Paget's twitter for the word 'Jemily' [10] she only has 3 direct tweets mentioning the ship. I don't think it's a coincidence that two are within the past few months since they started filming S17 (the other one was a RT of Kirsten (who tagged something Jemily)
This is all to say --
Just because Paget and AJ have publicly talked about Jemily,, this doesn't mean it's ever going to happen on screen. And you know what, THAT'S OKAY!! There has been this constant outcry (after Tara became queer confirmed) of 'Do Emily next' or 'Why wasn't it Emily with a girlfriend!?' and 'Jemily needs to be canon in S17!' -- as if people believe their ships aren't worth anything unless they are canon.
That couldn't be further from the truth! Fandom is built on headcanons and fan interpretations and rare pairs and all types of shippers. Your ship does NOT need to be canon for you to enjoy it. I will ship Jemily forever, no matter what. I don't think there will be some magical queer plot in S17, at best, we might actually get to see Emily/JJ on screen together again and after the train wreck that was S16 -- I'll take whatever I can get.
And hey -- if I am completely wrong, if Erica Messer pulls a Korrasami out of her hat, I will be ecstatic. I will be happy to be proved wrong, but at the same time, I'm not going to lose sleep over it and I'm DEFINITELY not going to go hound the actors about it on social media.
Sources:
[1] 2022 Digital Spy article about the importance of Tara's coming out
[2] 04/18/24 Paget Tweet
[3] 2017 Queerbaiting article from medium.com
[4] 2009 Broken TVGuide link
[4.a] Tumblr quote from the above TVGuide Interview
[5] 2010 Kirsten interview screenrant.com
[6] 2019 AJ Instagram Post
[7] 2020 Paget video on Twitter (via @karasluthqr)
[8] 2015 Kirsten interview AfterEllen.com
[9] 2016 Paget Interview CriminalMindsFans.com
[10] @PagetPaget search 'Jemily'
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wrensartstuffs · 10 hours
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It's Soap Saturday so I bring you a(fairly scattered) Soap analysis
"Oh she only has OCD and no more she's written badly" I HAVE OCD AND WHILE THAT DEPICTION WAS EXTREMELY DAMAGING AND COULD'VE BEEN DONE BETTER, IT'S UNFORTUNATELY ACCURATE FOR SOME PEOPLE(it's me I'm some people). SHE OBSESSES OVER EVERYTHING AND BEING A SOAP BOTTLE PROBABLY DOESN'T HELP SINCE OBJECTS ARE EXPECTED TO ACT ACCORDING TO THEIR OBJECTS
She can't HELP IT!!! SHE TRIES TO GET BETTER BUT LETTING GO OF YOUR HABITS IS DIFFICULT ON YOUR OWN AND AGAIN, AS A BOTTLE OF SOAP, SHE PROBABLY FEELS MORE SOCIETAL PRESSURE TO BE GOOD AT CLEANING!!!! SHE FIXATES ON EVERYTHING BECAUSE IT'S ALL SHE FEELS LIKE SHE CAN DO TO HAVE ANY CONTROL OVER THE SITUATIONS SHES IN!!! Besides cleaning, she has ONE coping mechanism, and it's one that everyone else HATES(singing). So no WONDER she ends up just cleaning. For hours. And hours. And hours. To the point where it's irrational
ALSO THAT'S ANOTHER THING!! Having control over situations is very big for me, and fixating is one of those things that helps. For Soap, being in a clean space and cleaning the hotel helps her feel like she can actually be calm and helps control her emotions, because without her cleaning? The hotel would be in shambles! If SHE wasn't helping, then everything would fall apart!! Sure, this isn't reality, but for her? Someone who has tried again and again to make things better but just making them worse BECAUSE of her impulses? She needs to feel like she's doing SOMETHING or else she's nobody. Just another stereotype ignored by the narrative
It's not HER FAULT that she has OCD and it's not HER FAULT that societal pressures force her to be who she is. Besides, after Tissues got eliminated, she could've thought that SHE had a higher winning chance because he got eliminated for his trait being. Well. Sick. So, as the opposite, the fans should love her!! Right? So, she goes further, she puts soap on the pizza, she has a musical number while fixing the hotel, she does all of these things to not only give herself a sense of stability, but also to hopefully boost her appreciation from the audience
And it didn't work
The moment she STOPPED cleaning, it didn't work. She told Mic to listen to her heart when walking through the portal, but if we're being honest(and if we see the comics), she went right back to cleaning. The moment she tried to be less impulsive, she was eliminated. And there goes her control once again
As of now she's likely right back in that loop, cleaning endlessly despite being asked not to as it isn't needed, but she won't, because if she's not CLEANING, then she doesn't have a purpose. She can't just pick up a new hobby, this is her LIFE, and if she can't sing, then she only has one option left
Or maybe I'm just reading too much into a one note character, who knows
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Happy Soap Saturday
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marascomics · 3 months
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Paying tribute to one of my fav voice actors Eleanor Audley!!! Two of the best animated characters ever were voiced by her, she was that IT GIRL like 😋 they were putting drugs in her voice or somthn cause why it sound so good
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So you know this party banter between Aveline and Carver?
Aveline: I don't like some of the people you've been associating with, Carver. Carver: Talk to my brother/sister. He/She's the one in charge.
If you're on the rivalry path with Aveline, she says:
Aveline: Who says I don't mean him/her too? This city's full of people who are dead set on ending badly. I don't want to see you end up the same way.
I just- Aveline, you- you're so- hhhhnnnngggggg
I always rival Aveline when I play a mage, and if you think Edgar Aristide Hawke, who practically raised Carver and Bethany after Malcolm died and Leandra became a distant mother in her grief, wouldn't stop dead in his tracks at Aveline heavily implying he's a bad influence on his brother and Carver shouldn't hang around him so much since apparently Ed's someone set on ending badly...? Absolutely not.
This is another case of me wishing Hawke had the option to jump in during party banter with different options, because Ed would've chewed Aveline out for that.
Oh, and then there's:
Carver: Would asking you to stop spying on me help in the least? Aveline: No.
Aveline...................stop it.
#da2#dragon age 2#carver hawke#aveline vallen#da2 hawke#edgar hawke#listen all of aveline and carver's party banter and their relationship and the fact that they're pretty much foils DRIVES ME CRAZY#in a good way but then i get party banter like this and i stop everything i'm doing just to scream#like ed and aveline are on fairly good terms in act 1 i mean the rivalry is there but it's not too bad it's more like they just butt heads#but after leandra's death the friendship just rots and deteriorates like by the end of act 3 ed is genuinely surprised aveline#didn't turn on him and side with the templars but i guess even aveline knows what's actually right#or maybe she just doesn't want to face ed in a fight sksksks hell ed AND carver in a fight so it's easier to side with him and the mages#but anyway aveline saying that when ed's in earshot is bold but also the fact that carver doesn't actually acknowledge it#like he doesn't agree or disagree he just changes the subject to be like 'can you stop spying on me PLEASE'#like he already has no privacy while living with gamlen and now he has no privacy when he's by himself because apparently aveline's spying#also i always max out carver's friendship so he and ed are on good terms they're the brothers hawke and carver loves him#even if he doesn't outright say it you know that's what he's really saying in the last straw#when he says that he's proud to call hawke brother/sister and that's gone unsaid for too long like............ screaming sobbing throwing u#like the carver and hawke dynamic on his friendship path is sooo good that i hear aveline say that and i'm immediately ready to throw hands#btw if you're on aveline's friendship path she says 'maybe but i know you get around' instead which...........gets around where aveline???#aveline my list of beef with you grows with every playthrough i hate you but also i love you but also i want to throw you in the ocean#until you get your head out of your ass like this is a case of her being a FASCINATING character but as a person? while i'm playing ed? ugh#my lady warrior hawke adored aveline but ed is ready to fight her 24/7 sksksk
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parulite · 1 year
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favorite part of kiri the way they went like "she is mystical and magical and deeply spiritual and connected to pandora in a way no one imagined possible. also she is 14 so she sticks her tongue out and rolls her eyes and whines and doesn't want to be in pictures and goes 'mYeH NyEh mAh mNyEh' at adults when they fuss at her"
#;lkjdsf;glkjsd;flgkj#i want. to put her in my pocket#every time jake calls kiri ''baby girl'' i gain 10 years of life 〈⋄〉 ooc.#listen i fully get people who like. they have that disconnect where they Know it's sigourney and that just#doesn't work for them or whatever right#but she turned in a 11/10 performance as a 14 year old like#it's just done with so much awareness from the adult perspective but also so much care and empathy im so in love with it#something so.....unique in all the correct ways about using this technology we have to do this#like i know some people think it's the same as de-aging and using deceased actors likeness right but#to me for this role specifically it's so much more like....stage acting?#and the fact that it's sigourney in both roles Adds to the character to me#she is mother. she is daughter. she is old she is young she is dead she is so alive she is. both!#like digitally de-aging for the sake of ''''yeah this happened when they were young''' is just like. idk neither here nor there for me#it almost never looks good but that's about the end of my thoughts on it#i think the way they've been like. bringing the likenesses of deceased actors into movies with this is really weird and not my favorite#for a variety of reasons#but this? this is perfect this is exactly what this should be used for. she's right there and it's not /really/ her but younger#it's not trying to reimagine a young sigourney weaver it is giving a different life to this performance#i mean considering it's effectively an animated movie anyway you know????? god does this#is this at all comprehensible#im having a moment don't look
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alicelufenia · 5 months
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My favorite thing so far about playing a fallen paladin in BG3, at least as far as the start of act 2, is that, Alice obviously knows she's done unconscionable things in pursuit of destroying the Absolute. Much of it on the word of an entity she has little knowledge of. She seriously doubts any further good she does could make up for it. None of her current companions think so, or care one way or the other.
So it feels even more poignant when she continues to try anyway.
She's appalled at the Society of Brilliance's aim to basically kidnap a Githyanki child, thinking to swindle the adventurer. But upon entering the Crèche, and seeing the conditions the children are raised in and Lae'zel confirming this is normal, she decides to at least hear out the caretaker. Only to find the last egg that failed to hatch, and is due for extermination. She even manages to get the blessing of Lae'zel and the Caretaker to give it a better home. It's still trafficking, but she has to feel like she's done something good in all of this.
This extends to when they escape from Crèche Y'llek after meeting the Dream Visitor face to face. She goes out of their way to avoid killing the rest of the Crèche, just the guards outside the inquisitor's chamber, and at the front entrance, because she had to tend to Ellyka's corpse, the last Tiefling she's seen on the road since... yeah.
As for Gale. It would be the easiest thing in the world for her to insist he not go through with his plan to blow himself up. She says so, and sees the doubt in him, sees him wanting to find another way before it comes to that, but already resigning himself to his fate, all for the sake of some god who, as Lae'zel so eloquently points it, "demands Gale's faith, but holds no faith in him."
Except that, if it destroys the Absolute, isn't that what she's been fighting for? Isn't that what she ruined herself to accomplish? To sacrifice whole families for the cause but not one wizard who, by all accounts so far, brought this on himself, would be the peak of hypocrisy, yes? Or is it a hypocrisy she's willing to take on, in the name of not digging herself deeper?
And then there's Minthara, the True Soul she allied with on the hope that the Astral Prism could do something for even someone so far gone as her. When she told her the voice of the Absolute fell silent when she was with her, Alice has kept that hope close to her heart this whole way. It's why she did not betray the Dream Visitor, even when facing a god bent on their destruction. It's how she was able to convince Lae'zel to see past Vlaakith's deceptions, and question her leader for the first time in her life.
And still all of this could be for naught. Already she's made an enemy of the Harpers and possibly Jatheira too, for continuing her cover as a True Soul. The darkness has so thoroughly seeped into her she can command it at will, snuffing out all light around her, channeling sorceries her divine conviction never permitted, even letting the darkness take over to save her from death if need be (Shadow Sorcerer makes a great combination with Paladin, and yes I basically made her a Dark Knight like my ff14 version of her). And for it all she's no closer to destroying the Absolute, only managing to GET close.
All of this is going through her mind even before meeting Z'rell, Ketheric, and Minthara at Moonrise Towers. However this goes, it could still shape what the future holds for her, and what she intends to do.
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islanddads · 2 years
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writing fic for not one but two already canon ships is another thing i just didn’t have on my 2022 bingo card
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chastiefoul · 1 year
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stood up pt. 2
characters: alhaitham & ayato
read part one here!
a/n: cannot thank u all of you enough for how well-received the first fic was, hope you can enjoy the second part just as much!! also i hope you can forgive my limited knowledge of flora (and the things i made up) on haitham's part!!
tags: comfort / summary: wallowed in guilt, how will they make it up to you?
Alhaitham
“You look like shit,” Kaveh commented nonchalantly, as if currently watching some character on a show. “Shut it,” Alhaitham replied, having zero intention in dealing with his roomate. It has been a week since he finished his research, but relief didn’t wash over him at all, it was the same day as he had cruelly stood you up, making you wait for three whole hours before he finally came. There were a lot of upsetting feelings he’s been experiencing through for the past few days, but lately he felt giving his past self a good punch for forgetting such an important day. In a way too he had blamed the research that’s been occupying him. Although he quickly perished that thought, since it’d be too easy—blaming something other than himself. When in fact he is wholly at fault for forgetting the date.
Everyday Alhaitham had been coming to your house, wanting to talk to you but what always greet him was your roomate, telling him that you’re busy. Feeling like he had no right to push it further, he left it at that. With clenched fists and a pang on his chest everytime, he was forced to go home. Today he was at his wits’ end, he had no idea what to do and how would he make you to meet him even for a second. Other than forgiveness that he’s looking for, he missed you terribly. With all the times he could’ve spent with you taken by the damn research, he longed to embrace you, to see your smile, and listen to you rambling about what’s been happening in your life.
Alhaitham wasn’t really one to be experienced in ‘love’, he knew that, you knew that. That’s why he loved your patience in guiding him through this thing, but now the only person that would be able to tell him what to do was the very one person he couldn’t talk to. Alhaitham groaned, thinking if you were in his position you’d probably know to do—scratch that. If it’s you, Alhaitham was sure that you wouldn’t even allow yourself to do such a careless act.
“He’s here again,” your roomate claimed, seeing him from the window. “Just tell him the same thing,” you said, hugging your knees as you sat on the couch. It's true that Alhaitham looked horrible, but you weren’t any better. You’ve been crying yourself to sleep every night, it especially hurt, when you had to hold back the sobs over a pillow that your throat hurts; since you didn’t want to disturb your roomate. What happened that day was like a slap to the face, that you were forced to recognize a fact that perhaps you love Alhaitham way more that he loves you.
Your rommate just nodded to what you say and went to the door. Not long she came back bearing a message. “He said he’d wait for you outside until you feel like talking to him.”
“Just leave him be then, I’m sure he’d go back soon, it’s especially cold outside today.” You said, really having no idea just how stubborn the gray-haired male is going to act. “Well, just keep an eye out.” Your roomate went back to her room. Tell that to him. You thought. You turned the television on to distract yourself, but you couldn’t help but peek outside the window every few minutes, to see if he’s still there. And he always was.
And that went for more than an hour, until you felt like you couldn’t do it anymore. You were mad at him, but you’re not heartless. You couldn’t be. However you didn’t intend to forgive him so easily, you told yourself that you were only meeting him to send him home and to not come back everyday.
You approach the front door and opened it.
There he stood, with an hand behind his back. When he saw you, his eyes lit up, but it quickly turns into a look of concern and guilt mixes, seeing your swollen eyes.
“What do you want?” You curtly said, taking a good look of the man in front of you who’s in terrible shape. His complexion doesn’t look good, there are bags under his eyes, he hasn’t been taking care of himself at all. A part of your chest twinge at the fact that not being able to see you was the cause of all this. You weren’t used to seeing Alhaitham so all over the place, when he always showed a perfect picture of a man who got it all together.
“I’m sorry,” He quickly cut to the chase, afraid that you’ll be out of his sight yet again as he revealed a purple hyacinth, handing it to you. The flower that represented regret and remorse. Then he continued meekly, “Of course, I don’t expect you to forgive me with one lousy flower, but I hope you will believe me when I said I truly regret that I had forgotten about our date, it seethes me with terrible anger to remember that I let myself be so caught up in my business, resulting you had to stand in the snow for hours; hours of you thinking of the reason why I didn’t come, and hours of doubting my feelings towards you. It must’ve felt terrible, I am so sorry.” His voice was close to trembling, however he knew to hold it in, since the one who should be upset was you. “I understand if me being in your vision may infuriate you, but please, please don’t shut me out.” He pleaded, it’s the most vulnerable expression you’ve ever seen on him that it tugs on your heartstrings.
Of course the truth is you missed him as much as he does, but you had to be sure of his feelings towards you. And seeing him now yet again after many failed attempts of meeting you over the days with a flower you didn’t even know where it came from since every field should be covered in snow and a heartfelt all-over-the-place apology, you couldn’t help but soften up. You reached to take the flower. “Come in, let’s talk inside.”
You both sat on the couch, your right hand went to rub his cheek. It was incredibly cold. “What were you thinking, standing in the cold like that? What if I hadn’t come out?” You mumbled gently. “It was nothing compared to what I put you through, I would’ve wait even for days.” He frowned as you leaned in to your touch, putting his hand atop of yours. Oh how he missed this. However he didn’t indulge on the touch thinking it was forgiveness, it’s just because you were that kind.
“You really hurt me,” you started, as he listened. “I had been looking forward to the date for days and then seeing you late looking like you just barely woke up—it made think that maybe you didn’t love me as much.” Your voice sounded so small as you reached the end of your sentence. Alhaitham felt pricks on his heart at the confession, swiftly pulling you into a tight hug. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He kissed your temple. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way. But I can assure you that was not the case. I was so caught up on my research that I mixed up the date of our meeting, though that’s not an excuse for such a careless act.” He paused.
“(y/n), I love you very much.”
Alhaitham was really having trouble telling you just how much he loves you. If you’d asked, he would wait on the cold for days until you’re ready to talk to him, even today he thought that it was okay if it was only a second, he had to see you, to know you’re doing fine and well, that was what he thought the most important thing. Just the way he kissed you so gently at the top of your head, you thought that you had a grasp as to how much he loves you. “Thank you for letting me see you,” he smiled, he cupped your face planting kisses on each of your swollen eyelids.
“Promise me you’ll make up for it, haitham,” you said softly. A chance. Alhaitham felt an unexplainable tingle feeling on his chest, “I promise.” He then said kissing you gently on the lips, as he made a mental note to always, always pick you up at your place for the dates that are more to come.
“The flowers? I.. went to Tighnari first thing in the morning, I asked him about the language of the flowers and what they meant. I came across it as I read a book, fortunately I could find the one I was looking for.” He explained, strangely bashful.
Flower picking? On this weather?
“But where did you even get it, isn’t everything either covered in snow or had withered already?” You asked genuinely curious. “Well Tighnari said there would be some on the cliffs of The Chasm, so I went there.” He said.
Cliff? The Chasm? That terribly dangerous place? Of course it’d be nothing for Alhaitham, you thought. But still, traveling that far and so quickly just for a flower.. you couldn’t help but smile.
“Thank you, I like it.” You smiled, the one where it made Alhaitham’s inside all tingly and warm. At this he felt like he really could do anything, as long as you were the one who asked for it. “Tell me what kind of flower you want on our next date, I’ll definitely bring it to you.” He took your hand, trailing little kisses along your fingertips to your wrist. Your stomach fluttered. You really do love him.
As if lesson was strictly learned, from that day forward Alhaitham had never once made you wait anywhere anymore at all. He's always ready in front of your door, sometimes with a flower, sometimes with something that you'd nonchalantly said the day before; for instance a food you were craving for, a necklace that you stared a second longer than the other that were on display, or even a stuffed toy you mentioned was cute even though you only said it to make a conversation.
Before, Alhaitham usually passive, most times always being the receiving end by your spoiling, but it was because he didn't want to take initiative, he just didn't understand how. Now, he understood just how delightful it was to see his loved one smile because of the things he did, and he only had you to thank for that.
Ayato
“My lord?” Thoma’s voice snapped the blue-haired male train of thoughts. “Ah, yes just leave the tea there Thoma.” He said. “Did something happen, my lord? You’ve been pretty out of it all week.”
“I’m fine, you can return to your duty,” Ayato calmly said. The blond housekeeper only nodded and went out, understanding very well that it was futile to probe any further. Ayato looked blankly at the unattended pile of papers he needed to take care of, he hasn’t been working well—or even at all. Since everytime his mind would wander off to you, to your meek voice that day telling him that you were tired, with a tone so hurt his heart couldn’t help but ache. This regret, this remorse; he wondered if he even had any right to feel them? When even to this day he unconsciously stilll waited for you to barge in to the estate, wanted to see you smile happily while greeting him without a care in the world. But that didn’t happen, of course it didn’t.
Ayato shut his eyes with an unpleasant expression for the nth time that day, remembering the date he had forgotten. For how long you were waiting for him? What were you thinking while waiting for him on such a harsh weather? What was it that finally made you give up? All these questions swirled inside his mind as he couldn’t even imagine how terrible you must’ve felt that day. Ayato was a formidable man, he was responsible and someone with a strong conviction, it was what the political people said at least. But he knew you’d laugh, if you hear it. Responsible? That Ayato? Who made his lover wait for him out in the cold for hours?
He didn’t even realize he’s been clenching his fist until he saw the crinkled paper scattered across his desk. Why the hell did I forget such an important day? He fumed, gritting his teeth. But the truth was he had no excuse, he had simply forgotten, perhaps he could blame the endless meeting he had to go through, but even then he was the one who made the promise that he could come. The guilt overwhelmed him, he hoped it would just swallowed him alive, but it wouldn’t be fair to you. He considered calling one of his soldier to try and punch him in the face so he could feel a little free from the binding shame, but only to realize the person who even had the right to do that was none other than you. So Ayato was determined that he’d do anything to beg for your forgiveness.
But more than forgiveness, he’s been worried about your health. He thought that if you hadn’t forgiven him, at least you could be well and healthy, though it was extremely hypocritical to say since he was the one who made you sick in the first place. Ayato stood up, planning to go to your place yet again even though his work was piling up, there are meetings that are waiting to be attended. But at the moment it was clear to him that nothing else matters except seeing you.
This was truly the worst.
Lying down with a fever with nothing to do, surrounded with nothing but unpleasant thoughts roaming around your mind. You blinked the tears away once again as they keep coming occasionally, remembering that day.
You sighed, your head was throbbing and you couldn’t really sleep as you just woke up an hour ago.
As if on cue, a familiar voice called out from the door. “(y/n)?” Ayato called out. Another tired sigh escaped. Does this man not know how to take a hint? You’ve been driving him away for the past few days, his face was the one thing you couldn’t stand to see.
“Please (y/n) open the door, even just for a few second.” His voice was now strained, laced with desperation and plead. You got up all wobbly from the headache, body still feeling sluggish. “What?” You said, frowning.
Seeing your condition Ayato’s expression contorted into utter displeasure, as if you being this way had hurt him too. What a joke, you almost laughed out loud. He looked like he wanted to say something based of how he gaped and closed his mouth like a fish, still finding the right words to say.
“Your few seconds are up,” you said, already on your way to closing your door. “No, no, please.” He hold the door, and of course with your condition and his ridiculous strength, there’s no way you would win that one. “Can I come in?” He finally said. “Why?” You said, leaning on the doorframe intending to look intimidating as you crossed your arm, but really you needed the support to stand up straight on your currently weak body. This didn’t go unnoticed by the sword-wielder of course as the worried expression deepened across his face. “Please, sweetheart let’s talk inside, I’m worried you’ll faint any minute with your condition.” You let off his slip of a tongue, too tired to reprimand him on that. And honestly you wanted nothing more than to return to your bed but you still had something to say. “Worried?” You laughed mockingly, and Ayato had never felt smaller. “Yes.” Still, he managed to say. “Would’ve been nice if you were worried when I was waiting for you in the snow for hours.” That one stings, and Ayato knew he deserved that.
Too tired to chase him away, you just return to your bed and inside your blanket. Ayato just stood awkwardly near the bed. “Have you been taking medicine? How is your head? Would I be allowed to check your temperature? What do you want to-“
“Ayato.” Your tone was chilling, felt like a definite warning—Ayato knew, it was a warning. Right now he doesn’t have any right, there are other matters he should be groveling to take responsibility of, he thought.
“Will you be willing to listen to me?” He kneeled beside the bed, putting his hand on the edge of it, hesitating whether he should touch your hand or not. Your back was still facing him, but you were quiet. Assuming that it was a permission, Ayato continued to talk.
“First of all, I apologize. I couldn’t even begin to tell you how I regret my action, that you had to stand there alone waiting for me—who stupidly didn’t even remember, I apologize.” He whispered, his voice was weak. “No, even way before that the way you always come to the estate to visit me and stood by my side no matter how crazy my work got and how I never thought how it would take a toll on you, I truly truly apologize.” You felt a little part of your heart melted at how meek his voice was.
“I took your unconditional kindness and patience for granted,” he said. There was silence after that, “you did,” you finally said. “I’m sorry.” Ayato repeated once again. He then very hesitantly grabbed your hand, and as soon as he saw that you gave the okay he brought it to his face, kissing your palm very lovingly. You turned your head to him as you were lying down, he looked disheveled.
“Don’t go to the estate anymore.” The blue-haired male announced suddenly, your stomach dropped as he quickly continued.
“From now on I’ll come to you.”
You blinked. “I’ll make sure to be here every day, greeting you first thing in the morning.” Ayato smiled, determined. He was sure on his decision to do this. “As of now, I know very well I don’t deserve your kindness, so I’ll try hard to do better, to do my best, for you.”
Your heart softened at his words.
“Can you please give me this chance?” He was desperate. Your anger slowly dissipated, a warm light like a candle flickered inside your chest, a hope. “Okay.” Ayato was over the moon hearing the response, that he couldn’t help but kiss your temple. Your stomach fluttered, it knew you missed his touch. “For now can I ask you to eat and take medicine?” He asked while gently tucking your hair behind your ear. You nodded, as he got everything ready. He ended up beside you all day, taking care of your needs.
Since that day Ayato did not break his promise even once. Always coming in the morning, sometimes with gift on his hand, other times with breakfast all ready. Then he shared his schedule with you for the day, and even then he’d always be the one to visit you when he was free, showering you with such overwhelming love. It was clear that the man love you very very much, and now he didn’t let you forget that.
“Ayato, thank you.” You said, on a random night. He just looked at you, adoration was apparent on his expression. “Anything for you, love. I mean it, anything.” He kissed your lips gently, the nightfall continued comfortably.
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TAGLIST- <3
@sunsethw4 @ieathairs @96jnie @kipper-s @nambii @tigerpriestess @bearbae4 @wearetherealarmb @squishychongyun @jokerloverparis @katsudonnnnnni @dr3amyxiao @xiamuyi @luningningtala @fuyaa @goldenglow149 @xiaosmaskandspear @acheeseblock @fishsticksonballsacks @rokosbasalisk @stellakito @roguexmoriartea @sageseagrass @irisxiel @lowotad @trecedelabuenasuerte @the-dreaming-city @lilliansstuff @cinaiel @bunny-slvt @orginiallyann @chaotickio @n1tsumi @kunikuzushisbeloved @ilovemarvel99 @lunaizhere @optimisticalmondbananabiscuit @kurohoely @larisanam @chaotichearts-19 @illdoitagainbopbop @mzia642 @childesglove @justgiulia @celestialwinds @traumaramacenter @kazuhaprnt @fou56 @angelkazusstuff @itsyourgirlria @yamtwt @gel0517
i can't seem to tag some of you guys, perhaps it's something to do on the accoun't settings? regardless hope you can still find this fic and thank you all for the interest <3
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angelltheninth · 6 months
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How do you think JJK characters would behave during a train ride home? I got this idea cause Yuji is on a train in the s1 song, It can be any characters you want.
That's a very cute concept Anon, a cute way to start the day.
Pairing: Yuuji, Sukuna, Megumi, Nobara, Maki, Yuta, Gojo, Nanami, Choso, Geto x Reader
Tags: fluff, sitting on their lap, kissing, flirting, cuddling, slight threats, hand kissing, public display of affection
A/N: I've been on maybe 10 train rides in my life, mostly go by bus but trains can be nice, especially if they're big ones.
Yuuji immediately gives up his seat for you the moment he sees you step onto the train. He's actually been saving it for you, took one of the best seats on the train as a matter of fact. Trust him, standing while taking a train ride will be the least amount of strain that he'll put on his body today, at least this way he can look at you on the whole way to school.
Sukuna spots a perfect place for the two of you to sit but it just so happens to be occupied by what he determents are rude brats. They act though when he first asks about their seats but lose all their bravery when he puts one hand on the railing and leans in close, staring them down. With the seats free he lets you have the first one, then he slides next to you, leaning over to kiss your neck.
Megumi guides you to the first empty seat he sees. It's never a question of who should get the seat, in his mind it will always be you. In the event that he's tired too the two of you begin to look for two seats so you can both sit down and enjoy the ride, no matter how short or long. There's minimal conversation going on during the ride but he's always happy to show a bit more physical affection.
Nobara waives over at you energetically, doesn't even care that she's getting the attention of everyone else there. She saved you a seat next to her. Her bag was there the whole time but she has now moved it to her lap. She doesn't stop talking almost the whole train ride but she keeps her voice low, almost like telling you a secret, while her hand seeks out yours, drawing random patters on the back of your hand with her thumb.
Maki holds your hand the entire train ride. If there are no eats available for the two of you then she will be the one to keep you from falling. This is also a very good time to kiss your hand and watch you get hot and flustered about her very blatant show of affection. It's not often that she can act like this, most of the time she tries to be more professional but she doesn't care who sees her in this case.
Yuta can get very shy when you sit next to him on the train. For him holding hands is nerve educing enough, but holding hands for the entirety of the ride, and having your head on his shoulder too is almost enough for him to take off running. He tries to talk about random things to forget how nice it feels to have you so close to him, he probably won't ever get used to it.
Gojo is perfectly comfortable with letting you sit on his lap while you're on the train. It doesn't matter if there's an empty seat right next to him, he would argue that it's not as comfortable as his lap and he would be correct. His arms bring you close to him, ensuring you won't fall, his head lays against your chest, listening to your heartbeat increasing, it's so much better then the music playing in the train.
Nanami always stands in front of you with your back being turned to the wall of the train. This is the most protective he can be while in a crowded area. He is also a good thing to hold on to when the train comes to a sudden stop. You can hold onto him as hard you want, he doesn't mind, even if his suit gets wrinkled in the process. Well he might mind that a little but a small price to pay for the kiss after.
Choso loves it when you sit next to him so he can put his arm around you and feel your head fall onto his shoulder. Every few minutes he'll turn and give you a kiss on the forehead, signaling to everyone that you're together. Oh he is very shameless about that, if he could get away with more on a public train he'd do it too. But the most he can do is to shove away and glare at people giving you odd looks.
Geto teases you about how you always just so happen to pick the far back spots of the train so you can get away with kissing him more often. He'd kiss you no matter where you were but the slight secluded nature does add a little more intrigue. His hands can find their way lower if you have your back turned to the crowd, but if that happens then his lips will cover yours and muffle all your cute noises.
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icequeenlila · 3 months
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So, it's pretty much a standard in the fandom that Lo'ak is described to be an exact copy of his dad, while Neteyam is the exact copy of his mum, right?
It's arguabel on the looks. I just think they share traits of both their parents but that's also not what this post is about.
I want to speak on the character traits the boys share with their parents.
Lo'ak is always made out to be a mini Jake. He's reckles just like his dad when he was young. He doesn't listen, has a big mouth, just like Jake. Yes.
But.
He shares one crucial trait with his mother. One that makes a big part of his character.
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Neytiri and Lo'ak are both easily provoked. They are short tempered and impulsive when it comes to their family and loved ones.
Example: Lo'ak picking a fight with Aonung after he insulted Kiri. Just like Neytiri snapped at Ronal after she disrespected Jake. Neither of them thinking about possible consequences.
They both act without thinking, just jumping to defend their loved ones. In hindsight both realize their actions haven't been so wise but in that moment of anger they act on their feelings.
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And then there is Jake and Neteyam. Both of them are able to stay level headed when faced with stressful situations.
While Jake used to be reckless in his youth, he was never as short tempered as Neytiri. It takes much to make him snap. That's why he is such a good leader. He is able to keep a cool head under pressure, he is able to think straight when angered. He also functions as Neytiri's tether in heated situations, making her calm and refocus.
Neteyam shares this trait with him. He's in full control about his actions. He's willing to let go of the anger he clearly felt when Aonung insulted Kiri, bc he knew of the consequences a fight would take.
You could argue here that that's because he's the oldest. True but his and Lo'ak's age only differ by a year and older siblings are not always this level headed. The goal is to protect the young ones, many don't think ahead of that.
But Neteyam does, becaus just like his father he thinks in a strategic way.
Example: Neteyam warning Aonung to stay away from Kiri but not acting on his anger and picking a fight, to prevent future difficulties for his family. Jake apologozing on Neytiri's behalf after Ronal disrespected him. He let's the attack on his own person slide, taking the hit to give his family a chance with the Metkayina clan.
They are thinking things through before they act.
I'm not at all saying that the boys share traits with only one of their parents. It's just that these two characteristics stand out a lot, mirroring their parents strongly.
That's it.
Have a nice day and bye!💙✨
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comradekatara · 1 month
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most fandoms are prone to reducing characters to consumable archetypes for the purposes or comedy (or shipping). but what’s amazing to me is that the atla fandom somehow not only reduces characters into stock tropes, but somehow manages to whittle them down into their exact opposites. aang’s whole deal is that he is a wise and prodigious monk who very deliberately represses the depth of his grief so as not to be crushed under the weight of it, and so naturally he is reduced into an oblivious, blissfully happy child. katara’s whole deal is that she yearns for joy and adventure and often reacts to situations before she’s thought through the consequences, so naturally she’s reduced to the overly-serious, sensible voice of reason. sokka’s whole deal is that he’s a miserable hater who’s way too smart for his own good and thus overthinks himself into a hole at every turn, so naturally he’s reduced to a wacky goofy idiot with no tact and no brain. toph’s whole deal is that she’s uniquely thoughtful and perceptive and waits and listens before acting, so naturally she’s reduced to an impulsive chaotic gremlin with all the emotional maturity of a sea cucumber. zuko’s whole deal is that he can’t read a room, has no filter, and loves to monologue, so naturally he’s reduced to a brooding stoic. iroh’s whole deal is that he is tormented by the sins of his past at all times, so naturally he’s reduced to everybody’s favorite perfect and unimpeachable old man. azula’s whole deal is that her undying loyalty and obedience to an egomaniac shall be her undoing, so naturally she’s reduced to a selfish and hysterical woman who just does whatever the fuck she wants because she’s ontologically evil i guess. ty lee’s whole deal is that she is constantly performing, so naturally people always just take her at face value. i could go on. but i think you get my point.
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demiesworld · 9 months
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jjk men and how they show their love for you
☆ characters: satoru gojo, suguru geto, toji fushiguro, kento nanami, + choso
☆ genre: fluff, romantic, domestic
☆ contents: mentions of abuse & death in toji's part, but nothing graphic
☆ notes: reader is a female and uses she/her pronouns. ages are not mentioned in this, but the reader is of legal age. curse spirits, sorcerers, etc. do not exist. everything is purely fictional.
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— satoru gojo: cuddling
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he likes it when you two are alone together in the privacy of your home, cuddling together underneath a warm blanket while watching a really bad (in his opinion) movie that you picked out. and even though he really wants to critique the writer's script of the characters, and the actors acting performance, satoru doesn't say not a word to you about it. he just holds you around your waist tighter and nuzzles his nose into your neck. he likes the smell of you after a shower because you smell fresh and it's comforting to him.
— suguru geto: quality time
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to suguru, there's no better way to keep your attention on him than taking you out somewhere or just spending time together. when he takes you out on a date, he encourages you to silence your phone (or better yet turn it off) to avoid any distractions. same goes for when you two are being intimate. he's a man that wants eyes on him and for you to listen to him. he does the same thing for you. you want to tell suguru about the nosy bitch at work? he's listening and giving you advice. you want to go to the netherlands? he's buying a plane ticket in business class for you two. whatever it is, suguru loves to spend time with you as long as you are on the same page as him.
— toji fushiguro: acts of service
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growing up in the zenin family and being abused by them sculpted toji into the cold, callous man he is today. followed by the sudden and tragic death of his previous wife he didn't think he could find love ever again. not until he met you. you warmed this man's heart at the first time he saw you. he likes to show you that he loves you by doing things that makes your life easier. he'll pay and put gas in your car. he will help you with cleaning the dishes after a meal that you've cooked for. if you're running short on money for you rent, he'll even cover it for you and doesn't expect for you to pay him back. just the thought of you being comfortable is a good enough reward.
— kento nanami: words of affirmation
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with kento, you would wake up in the mornings to a good morning text followed by him reminding you of your beauty, your excellence, and telling you not to let menial things get you in a bad mood. in your lunches you would find a hand-written note from kento complimenting you. in spite of being a full-time salaryman, kento would call you during his lunch break to talk to you and listen as you complain about your coworkers. he loves hearing your voice. at night, just before your head hits the pillow he would kiss your forehead and wish you a good night's rest. kento can be quite the charming man when it comes to you.
— choso: gift giving
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choso... precious choso. he likes to shower you with gifts as a way to show his undying love and appreciation for you. if you mention that you like something, but you couldn't get it, best believe it will be either on your doorstep or in your hand within the next day. when he sees you eyeing something in the store for even a second, choso will buy it for you. he won't take any "no's", "stops", or returning the item back. choso bought it FOR you. if you return any of his gifts it will hurt his feelings and he'll think you don't love him. so be careful when you are trying to let choso know not to get you gifts.
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letter from demi: i have adopted a new style of how i do... idk what you call these blurbs? headcanons? idk. anyways im changing some things up with how my posts are... styled. i hope the work and the way it is made looks good! lmk what you think babes!
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rene-spade · 21 days
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Ok but how are the crazy f1 dads with their daughters dating? Who on the grid do they like?
oof this is a loaded ask bc they really are all out of it 😭 they just love their babies fr
♤ ♤ ♤
dad! kimi | growing up räikkönen!
FIRST OF ALL kimi doesn’t really vibe with most people in general, let alone anyone who’s trying to get with his little lumienkeli. kimi was lucky to raise a little girl similar to him, who listens when he places a no dating rule lasting until she’s 21 (as far as he knows anyways). despises the guys on the grid trying to get with her; he was one of them once so he thinks of them as animals, especially leclerc who’s known for his brow-raising dating life. also hates pierre but he already didn’t fw him bc he’s french. he is SLIGHTLY more easy going with women around his daughter so any grid guys with girlfriends might have an advantage. he finds that he wants the im-a-dog-and-ill-do-whatever-my-girl-says type for his daughter, but he dislikes unintelligence. he does not like anyone on the grid, but he best tolerates:
mick schumacher!
oscar piastri (+lily)
he vibes with kika okay but hates pierre 💀
bonus! he actually really likes max but his hate/distrust for jos overpowers that so he’s not letting that happen
♤ ♤ ♤
dad! jenson | growing up button!
OK SO JENSON is a bit less intense than kimi, however he is much more publicly affectionate with his daughter which means that he has definitely gone on public rants about how no man is good wen enough for his baby. that being said, he is a decent judge of character so he doesn’t hate anyone on the grid. but he gets real serious when he notices people hitting on his baby. this is mostly bc he was def a whore when he was younger so he isn’t quick to trust guys who are living the same lifestyle he was. he kind of turns on dad-mode when he notices anyone eyeing her up. but alas, he raised his own mini-me, who attracts just about everyone, and who likes to flirt back. it takes warming up to, but he can see himself fine with most of the drivers. he most prefers people who are friendly and who didn’t act like him when he was in f1 like:
george russel
daniel ricciardo
lando norris
♤ ♤ ♤
dad! fernando | growing up alonso!
NANDO IS DEFINITELY one of those guys who thinks he’s a “cool dad” bc he’s a young father and his daughter is his best friend. but in reality he’s one of those intense, fiercely overprotective dads who have impossibly high expectations for his daughters partner. 100% the type to punch a mechanic for saying gross things about his princesa. he’ll be calm and in a good mood then someone on the grid (or any man ever) mentions his daughter and he’s like 😐. UNLESS! it’s carlos. carlos is the only one who meets his standards, sorry to literally everyone else. but even with carlos, he can be a little stern just to get his point across about not messing with his only child. he just feels the need to personally approve of his daughter’s partner bc he’s hyper-paranoid about someone hurting her. his list looks something like:
carlos sainz!!!
that’s it
i mean if you put a gun to his head maybe max bc he’s a winner but he needs to learn to speak spanish so-
♤ ♤ ♤
dad! jos | growing up verstappen! unfortunately
FUCK JOS VERSTAPPEN obviously, however this man is one crazy dad who we have to discuss. his love for his youngest daughter is wild and unpredictable, and it’s very different from the way he treats his other children. his baby has some extreme one-sided beef with him that he’s smart enough to know about, so he isn’t too forceful about bonding, it’s definitely more desperate since max found success in f1 and she sticks with her big brother now. her entire life, he’s never allowed her to date, and when he found out about her first secret bf, he got arrested for trying to kill the kid so. he has IMPOSSIBLY high standards for his daughters partner and definitely wants her to marry within the f1 community, but he hates losers and despises half the grid.
suddenly he’s charles leclerc’s biggest fan !
lewis hamilton but he’ll never admit it
MAYBE carlos sainz
bonus! max obvi likes daniel ricciardo best but jos doesn’t fw him like that
♤ ♤ ♤
Ren
679 notes · View notes
cryptidghostgirl · 2 months
Note
so sorry for this (very) specific request hope it's not ocish
anyways alastor x wife reader who's a virologist / kinda a mad scientist??(girl just wants to start a apocalypse without anyone to bother her)
Like they got married for mutual benefits (whatever benefits he would gain and her having access to money for her wildest dreams) when they were humans (whether he actually loves her or not is up to you lmao)
They both die (I assume that she would die around when he died from her own negligence caused by her 'freedom' to do her work more often without actually worrying about him finding out) and she avoids him like the plague (not that hard to realize this so called radio demon is your 'husband' when you find his secret stash of 'local cuisine' in the fridge)
Then he goes missing and she finally kinda goes out of makeshift hiding, just chilling doing her evil deeds before finding about the Hazbin Hotel from some gossip
Deciding that, while redemption is most likely not gonna happen mostly for the fact she does not care, she joins Charlie's little program. For her own little project (just wants to have a angel test subject, gotta see if they can be a good carrier for her little virus)
The reader doesn't know that Alastor's back (you think she's gonna use vox tech? Or listen to the radio? Girl uses a non vox tech phone and maybe a computer and does her work) so she goes and knocks on the door to the hotel
Thinking that this shit is gonna be easy, after all her husband is gone so she won't be bothered by him. She can focus on her beautiful creations and maybe destory hell and heaven with a apocalypse for some laughs. While also getting access to heaven through Charlie somehow (maybe even Lucifer, girl doesn't know nor care)
Anyways you can just IMAGINE her surprise that right after Charlie greets her (Vaggie ofc suspicious af cause she knows damn well no sinner wants to be redeemed for the most part) then here comes the strawberry pimp coming to say hello
Would he recognize his lovely wife? Maybe
Ofc reader had a plan, and by plan I mean she just says they were married and now acts like their divorced (death do us part and we fuckin dead)
(Just for example, do what you want <3)
Anyways I'm sorry again (can you tell that I've been watching a lot of mlp infection aus :') )
A/N bestie,, i love an overly detailed request. no apologies. i hope i did it justice <3 <3 I have literally been obsessing over the whole 'we're dead. we've been parted.' reader idea. It's so fun. Also I am very sorry it took me so long to get to this. Also, I am not a woman nor am I in STEM (I'm an enby in history) so apologies if science stuff in this is bad. I'm basing the character off of Entrapta (my love) from Nate Stevenson's She-Ra remake.
Till Death Do Us Part (Alastor x Mad Scientist!Reader)
Pairing: Alastor x Reader
Warnings: Gore. Murder. Bodies. Animal cruelty (not detailed at all just like test subjects and burning ants as a kid). Viruses/plague talk. Just capital d Death all around in this one folks. Suicide and starvation briefly mentioned.
Word Count: 2,584
Master Lists:
Master Lists 
Hazbin Hotel Master List
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Y/n hadn't been sad when Alastor died. It didn't really even register on her radar that he was gone until the police showed up at her door. Their marriage was more of an agreement than anything else, a division of labor. Y/n was a talented virologist who came from a rather wealthy family. He got access to her money, using it to start his own radio studio, and Y/n? Well Y/n got a clean up crew.
She had always been fascinated by death. It was a morbid curiosity that had followed her since childhood. The typical 'burning ants with a magnifying glass to mass murderer' pipeline only, murder was not exactly her objective. Since learning of the Black Death in school, she had been fascinated by biological warfare and weaponry. The stories of soldiers throwing infected bodies over the walls of city's to break down their defenses? It was magnificent, masterful, absolutely awe inspiring. Living through the Spanish Flu epidemic in 1918, watching how it tore through her city of New Orleans, only furthered her determination.
As soon as she had had the knowledge base to do so, she began working on bio-weapons on her own. She wanted to create a disease, to devastate the world. She wanted to watch the things around her crumble into ruin and know it was by her hand.
She'd found out about Alastor's hobby by accident. They were friends, of a sort, in that Y/n would show up randomly where ever he was and quiz him about radio waves. He worked at a radio station and she knew that. She had followed him, tracked him down. There was no reasoning behind it save he was the first person she'd really found out about that was involved in the business in New Orleans. She would pick his mind about getting the word out about things, marketing, advertising. She was prepping for the main event, for the day she finally created her magnum opus.
One day, when she had shown up unannounced at his door and broken in when he didn't respond to her knocking, Y/n had discovered him dismembering one of his victims. Alastor had stared at her, wide eyed in shock, fear and adrenaline mixing into an intoxicating combination in his veins. Y/n had just smiled.
She had been wondering about human experimentation for a while now. Animals were easy to cover up, easy to bury in the back yard but people? It had always been too risky, up until now anyways.
So it went like this: Y/n funded Alastor's dreams and he hid the side effects of hers. When he died, Y/n didn't really feel anything too strongly about it at all. Yes, it made life harder in that if she wanted to keep using human guinea pigs she'd have to figure out a way to dispose of them on her own but it also made it easier. Alastor had always been so obsessed with image, dragging her to office parties and forcing her to sit down to meals with him. Now that he was gone, she could work on her projects in peace once again. The body thing was something she would figure out along the way. She was smart and she wasn't going to let something like that stop her, not when she was this close to cracking it.
As it turns out, Alastor had been more of a help than Y/n believed. So used to his nattering and persistence, she had stopped eating. It wasn't long before she joined her husband in death. The papers of course had a field day with it. Heiress and Virologist Y/n L/n Withers Away Due to Heartbreak. Y/n L/n Starved Herself to Death and Joins her Murderer of a Husband. Virologist Commits Suicide After Revelation of Dead Husband's Criminal Deeds.
When Y/n had woken up in Hell, her whole world had been turned upside down. If there was life after death, what was the point of killing everyone on earth? She was back at square one.
Rumors were already buzzing through the streets of Hell about some new overlord, some Radio Demon, who had a strikingly similar MO to her husband. Not wanting any distractions this time around, Y/n secluded herself in the outskirts of the pride ring to reformulate her plans.
For decades she worked, trying to create a poison to wipe out the dual planes of the underworld. Work was easier here. No one questioned why she bought the things she bought, no one got upset when people went missing. Hell, no one even blinked twice if they saw her burying a body. It was a veritable paradise for Y/n.
Eventually, news reached her of the Radio Demon's disappearance. Y/n had never been the biggest fan of technology that wasn't involved in her work. In the world of the living, she had barley read the papers. All the machines in her laboratory were ones she had built herself through trial and error. But still, somehow, the news reached her and she felt elated. The last thing weighing her down, the last road block had officially been lifted.
Within seven years, she had perfected the disease. Having run tests on lower rings of Hell, she prided herself on her ability to make it so infections, so deadly. The survival was on par with that of unvaccinated human's infected by rabies. But her plan wasn't complete, no. Taking out everyone in Hell wasn't good enough, she had to figure out how to get it into Heaven as well.
That was when the perfect opportunity fell in her lap. Y/n nearly cried when she caught sight of the interview through the window of a shop selling Vox branded TVs. Charlie Morningstar, Lucifer's little brat, was creating a hotel for sinners, where they could be rehabilitated and sent to Heaven. It was perfect, almost too perfect. Y/n didn't question it, her own excitement blinding her. She barley even took the time to come up with a plan that consisted of more than get into the hotel and get her hands on an angel. She figured that was something that could be dealt with later on.
After a few days of research and snooping, she finally made her move. Having packed her bags and woven her way through the streets of Pentagram City, she found herself before the brightly lit marquee of the Hazbin Hotel. Placing her bag on the ground beside her, the test tubes and various paraphernalia inside clinked gently against one another. Raising her hand, she knocked on the door.
It was Charlie herself who answered, with wide eyes and an earnest smile. A smaller moth demon beside her crossed her arms, eyeing Y/n with doubt. It barley registered with the excitable demon, she was used to the strange looks. The new form Hell had granted her with when she died was odd, after all. She was still the same height, still held a roughly human shape, but her hair had become its own beast. It moved like secondary limbs, falling nearly to the floor from the pigtails she had tied it up into. It shot up into the air around her in joy at the sight of yet another open door in her path, this one literal rather than figurative.
"Hello!" Charlie exclaimed, "Are you here to check in?"
"Yes, check in." Y/n nodded, using her hair to pick her bag back up.
She took a step forward, trying to enter the hotel, but found her path blocked by the smaller grey demon. Her arms were uncrossed now, one of them pointing a spear right at Y/n's neck. Y/n didn't flinch, she simply looked down at it in curiosity, reaching a finger up to touch the end.
"Ow." she said flatly as the spear's tip pressed into the pad of her finger.
Raising it to her eyes, she rubbed the droplet of blood that had pooled on her pointer finger with her thumb before turning back to the spear.
"Is this..." Y/n leaned forward, grabbing the spear's shaft.
"Hey!" Vaggie yelled threateningly as Y/n crouched down, examining the weapon carefully.
"Oh my stars, this is an angelic blade, isn't it?" she exclaimed, her eyes still fixed on the spear.
"Uh..."
Vaggie was more confused now than anything and she took the slightest step away from the excited demon. Y/n followed her and soon, they were in the entry way to the hotel. Charlie watched the scene play out with mild amusement, finding her girlfriends bewildered state rather charming. She let the door fall shut.
"It is, isn't it?" Y/n asked again, "But how did you get it? Did you make it? What do you do with it? Is it more effective than normal weapons? Why a spear? I-"
"What's this, we have a new guest?" a crackling voice cut Y/n off.
"Uh, yes!" Charlie stepped in, turning to face the newcomer.
Y/n, still preoccupied with the spear, was now engaged in trying to get Vaggie to let her hold it.
"I think..." Charlie doubtfully added, her brow furrowing at the site.
"Well well well, a little devil." Alastor hummed, turning to watch the show as well, "Honestly, reminds me of someone I knew back when I was alive and kicking. Ah well, what's her name?"
"I don't... actually know that yet." Charlie admitted, fiddling with her hands a bit as she spoke, "But she seems really enthusiastic about being here!"
"It seems she more interested in that spear of Vaggie's than the idea of redemption." Alastor noted in response.
"Are either of you going to help me or are you just gonna sit and watch?" Vaggie exclaimed, trying her best to pry the spear out of Y/n's grip.
Alastor sighed and with a twirl of his microphone, a shadow arose, pulling Y/n off Vaggie. There was a split second where the smile on the girl's face fell. It quickly returned as she caught sight of what exactly had interrupted her escapades. Placing her bag on the floor with her hair, she wormed around in the shadow's arms, turning to face it. Tentatively, she poked it.
"Would you stop that?" Alastor asked, his voice thick with irritation.
Y/n poked the shadow again.
"What is this? How are you doing this?"
When no response came from the demon in question, she at last turned to face him.
"Oh."
She stilled in her movements and Alastor allowed the shadow to disappear.
"No reason to be scared." Charlie quickly stepped in, "I know Alastor here has a bit of a... reputation, but he is actually helping us at the hotel. He's really a great once you get to know him."
Alastor's smile widened as he bowed his head slightly in recognition of the praise.
"If you're going to be staying her-"
"You can't seriously be thinking of letting her stay here, Charlie." Vaggie cut in, "She's been here what, five minutes? And all thats come of it is chaos."
"Vaggie, come on, don't be like that." Charlie turned to her girlfriend, "Everyone deserves a second chance, that's the whole reason we built this place."
"But does she even want to be redeemed? I mean, what if she's... I don't know, trying to take us down from the inside out? What if she's a journalist or some shit trying to write us bad reviews?"
"You flatter me." Y/n smiled and Vaggie scoffed.
"See?"
"Isn't that all the more reason to let her in? Vaggie, if she is undercover as a journalist or something, we just have to prove to her how amazing what we're doing here is."
"I don't know... I've never seen her before, what if she's another one Vox sent?"
Y/n shook her head, sticking her tongue out slightly in disgust at this notion and Alastor chuckled. There really was something so familiar about this demon and her antics. Even if she was a tad irritating, it was a comfortable familiarity.
"Then we will figure it out, same way we did with Sir. Pentious. Okay?"
"Fine." Vaggie relented at last with a sigh.
Smiling brightly, Charlie turned back to Y/n.
"So, hi. I'm Charlie, welcome to the Hazbin Hotel! What's your name?"
Y/n's eyes flicked back and forth between Alastor and Charlie for a moment before settling on Charlie.
"Y/n L/n."
Alastor let out a little laugh of disbelief, a sound he had meant to keep in. He couldn't help it. Of course this little mess of a demon was his favorite crazy wife. Alastor had looked for Y/n on occasion, always keeping an eye on news involving anything scientific but, he had never found a trace. Not that he'd admit it but, in their time together, he had grown rather fond of the girl. Not love, never love, but a sort of familial feel. Everyone turned to face him.
"Are you alright, Alastor?" Charlie asked, walking over to him and placing a hand on his arm which he quickly brushed off.
"Yeah, do you know her or something?" Vaggie added, "Is she dangerous?"
"No..." he paused, his brow slightly furrowed, "She's my wife."
The room fell silent.
"You... you didn't recognize your own wife?" Vaggie asked in disbeleif.
"Ex-wife." Y/n corrected with a little sigh.
This was all becoming so tedious. She hadn't come here to sit and talk with people. While the spear and the shadow had been fun, they had both run their courses and she just wanted to get to work.
"I..." Alastor turned back to Y/n, "Ex-wife?"
Y/n shrugged.
"So you didn't recognize your wife and you didn't know you were divorced?" Vaggie asked, rubbing her temples, "Jesus fuck, man."
"I..." Alastor cleared his throat, "We were married when we were alive. I didn't even know she was dead yet."
"Yeah." Y/n shrugged, "Turns out all your nattering was what was keeping me alive. I forgot to eat, starved to death."
Alastor's eyes softened slightly for a moment at the notion. She had needed his care so badly that she had died with out it. It felt good, in a strange way. Satisfying. They darkened again as he recalled her earlier statement.
"Ex-wife?" he asked again, taking a step towards Y/n.
She looked up at him, her expression blank.
"Yeah?"
"When did we get a divorce!" Alastor exclaimed once he realized she would say nothing else on the matter without his prompting.
"Oh! We didn't." Y/n nodded, smiling slightly, "Now, can I go to my room?"
"No, Y/n. Why are you calling yourself my ex-wife? We are still married."
Y/n looked around at Charlie and Vaggie, seeing if they were going to back up her claim. Sighing, she turned back to Alastor.
"Do I really have to lay it out for you?" she paused and Alastor just stared at her, eyebrows raised, "Jesus. Uh, Al, we died."
"Yes...?"
"Till death do us part? That was the agreement."
"I... Well..." he was at a complete and total loss for how to respond.
She wasn't wrong, he just didn't like her answer very much.
"So... the agreement is done... yeah?"
"I mean," Alastor shook his head slightly, "I guess?"
"Great! Can someone please show me to my room now."
---
Next Part -> Till Death Do Us Part pt. 2
709 notes · View notes
mangomonk · 8 months
Text
i thought that i was dreaming when you said you loved me
↳ summary: read this drabble first! goodie two shoes!remus, afraid of being perceived as other, stumbles into a relationship at the expense of y/n. ↳ content: angst, one-sided fake dating ↳ a/n: a little nervous because this is my first time writing for remus pls be gentle w me! for full enjoyment, listen to ivy by frank ocean (i looped it the entire time i wrote this). the more i wrote this, the more i realized i could turn this into a full blown million word fic, but i tried to keep it as condensed as possible, hence some time skips/summarization. pt. 2 here!
When Remus Lupin confesses — no, announces — that he likes her in the middle of the Great Hall, she thinks she's dreaming. Surely, she didn't hear that correctly. Only hours earlier, she had witnessed the doe-eyed boy unleash a slew of curses beneath his breath. I guess everyone has bad days, she had thought. Even Remus, who she had always pegged as straight-laced and well-mannered.
So when a half a dozen heads turn to stare at her directly, Y/N turns to see if there's anyone behind her. When she sees no one, she turns back forward. It's when Remus Lupin's soft, brown gaze meets hers that her heart stutters dangerously in her chest. She can't help it despite the bewilderment she feels — everyone in the castle has to have some sort of crush on the fluffy-haired boy. He's all soft, disarming smiles and beautiful, brown eyes and knitted jumpers and gentle laughter and—
—and Y/N goes red in the face right away. It doesn't help when Remus tilts his head to the side slightly and offers a small, uncertain smile. Merlin, help me, Y/N thinks as she stares back, wide-eyed, her confusion and any thoughts briefly neutralized at the way his eyes crinkle into little half-moons.
— — — — —
Y/N has always prided herself on being a sharp judge of character. It soon became clear to her, however, that Remus Lupin was a strange, but intriguing case of contradicting character.
Following his confession — rather, announcement — in the Great Hall, she becomes overly conscious of the tall boy. It feels as though she's suddenly very aware that they have most of their classes together, that he sits only a seat away from her in Charms, that he has chicken scratch for handwriting when she passes him in the library. The latter comes as a surprise — perhaps unfairly, she would have pegged him as a swooping cursive type of boy. In any case, it soon becomes the case that Y/N realizes that she can find Remus easily in a room of crowded students, and the more she does, the more she begins to realize that Remus is a boy full of surprises.
This doesn't seem to matter though, because strangely, after his confession in the Great Hall, Remus does not once approach her. Occasionally, she catches him glancing at her with an odd expression, but outside of an increase in being stared at by the other students, little changes in her life.
It isn't until a week later when her seat partner in Charms is out that their paths cross again. When she trudges to her seat in class, she becomes very quickly aware that they're separated only by an empty chair. She doesn't look away fast enough because Remus looks up as she pulls her chair out, his gaze snagging on to hers with an intensity that she doesn't expect from the softness of his eyes.
"Good morning," he says slowly, almost uncertainly. Up close, Y/N can see a splay of pale freckles across his cheekbones. His lashes are unfairly, distractingly long as he gazes up at her.
"Hi," Y/N says, equally uncertain, though she tries to keep her voice light and casual. No one's ever really had a crush on her before, and she finds herself floundering on how to act. Shouldn't he be the nervous one, and not her? Somehow though, she can feel her palms begin to sweat, though Remus doesn't look nervous at all. Just sharp and assessing. Fortunately though, before the air between them can turn any awkwarder, a mussed-haired head pops up from around Remus.
"Y/N, right?" James Potter asks with a wide grin. His glasses are skewed and crooked on his face as he peers around Remus at her rather owlishly.
Next to him, Remus blinks a few times as she nods, opening her mouth to speak when Professor Flitwick clears his throat to begin class.
She tries to focus on taking notes, but it's difficult when she can see Remus casting her sidelong glances from her peripheral view. She gives up on trying to focus on class entirely when a folded piece of parchment flits over the gap between them with a familiar chicken scratch.
Can we talk after class?
After class, Y/N has a ridiculous, irrational flash of self-consciousness that the humidity has made her hair begin to frizz. Remus doesn't seem to notice as she rakes a hand quickly through her hair because a nervous, almost agitated, energy is rolling off of him as he paces in the courtyard.
When he catches sight of her, he stops, a warm smile breaking across his face, though Y/N feels that it doesn't quite reach his eyes. But the new knowledge that Remus has a dimple on his left cheek and his smile is just slightly crooked is enough to disarm any wariness. Unexpectedly his nervous energy seems to dissipate immediately. "Hi," he says, "You came."
"I got your note," Y/N says, inwardly grimacing — of course he knew that already, he had been sitting next to her.
"Right, well, I, er—" Remus begins choppily, his hand rising to rub at the nape of his neck. "I was wondering about... Earlier, last week, when you saw me... Did you say anything to anyone?"
Y/N blinks at him once, then twice, blankly. "Earlier?" She questions, before the heat begins to rise to her face. He must have been referring to his confession. "I haven't said anything to anyone."
Remus's brows furrow for a moment before his face relaxes. He's surprisingly difficult to read — it feels as though any trickle of emotion is covered with a disarming soft smile. "I see," he says after a moment, his shoulders relaxing. "Right, well, Y/N," he begins, looking around them distractedly. "—shall we date?" Y/N straightens with a jolt as he continues. "I won't be offended if you say no. In fact, I'd understand if you said no, we've barely—"
She doesn't know what it is exactly. Maybe it was the curious thought that Remus might not be the charming prince he seemed to be. Maybe it was the dimple in his left cheek. Maybe it was the way he said her name. But something in Y/N slipped through her confusion and the unceremonious nature of the whole thing, because she finds herself speaking before she can stop herself. "Yeah. Let's date."
Remus's face goes slack. He looks a little startled, Y/N thinks, like she's clubbed him over the head. "Are you sure?" He blurts, eyes widening a fraction. It's perhaps the most emotion she's seen him show so far. Y/N writes it off as nerves and incredulity.
She nods once, firmly.
"I guess that's settled," he says weakly with furrowed brows, though he looked neither pleased nor displeased.
— — — — —
Initially, Y/N and Remus are as awkward as can be. She's not sure if it's because neither of them have really ever been in a relationship before, but it feels clumsy in the beginning.
Their dates start off mostly as study dates in the library, but Y/N doesn't mind — to her pleasure, she finds that they eerily work well together and she likes the calm peace of Remus's presence while she's studying. She likes to think that he also finds comfort in her presence because it's become ritual for him to ask her about the book she's reading, and vice versa. In a few weeks, they start reading the same books. Maybe it's because they spend so much time together studying that it becomes gradually more comfortable.
When they go to Hogsmeade for the first time together, Y/N finds that they end up walking around the village and chatting nearly until curfew. She tells him about what it's like growing up with three brothers — "It doesn't seem very different from the Marauders," Remus observes with a wry laugh — and he tells her stories of how despite moving around periodically during his child, his mother always found a little corner in the yard to start an herb garden.
He does all the things she'd imagine a boyfriend might — Remus is a gentleman, expectedly. He holds the door open for her, gives her his jumper when there was a draft in the library, walks her back to the Common Room at night.
But, unexpectedly, it isn't Remus's soft smiles or considerate aura that Y/N finds herself straining to see. But it was when he threw his head back and laughed himself breathless at James holding his wand on the wrong end that Y/N found it impossible to tear her eyes away from him. Or when he shot her a dour look the first time she teased him on his illegible chicken scratch. Or when Remus cursed like a sailor when he knocked his ink pot over onto his parchment because he was always so uncoordinated and graceless.
It was perhaps impossible not to fall in love with Remus Lupin. Though maybe she already knew this from the start when he first looked at her, and even more so the first time he said her name.
She liked the way he would groan and complain and grumble as he stretched out his lithe limbs in preparation of helping Peter with his essay that he had procrastinated on, even after she could see the exhaustion begin to pool under his pretty eyes. She liked that he could silence the boys with just one baleful look. She liked the way he fell asleep on his books when he thought no one was looking. She liked his dry remarks and his wolfish grin and his grumpy mood. She liked all the rough edges that Remus showed her when he would forget to put up a soft smile.
It was too easy to love Remus Lupin, though it seemed like he didn't know that himself.
It only takes four full moons for Y/N to understand what the Marauders meant whenever they quietly referred to Remus's furry little problem. In the first place, they weren't always discreet — it was easy for them to forget she was there when she was studying in the background. In the second place, Remus would apologetically cancel their studying plans around the same time each month, and he would disappear for a few days and come back exhausted with fresh scars. It wasn't difficult to put two and two together, really.
But while she understood why he didn't tell her, she couldn't help but give him a tighter hug when she realized.
"Something wrong, love?" He had asked, reaching up to caress the back of her hair as she squeezed his abdomen.
"No," she had mumbled into his shirt, breathing in his familiar scent. She could feel affection swell inside her so violently she felt a little dizzy as she gave him another squeeze. "Just wish I could always be hugging you."
"No one's stopping you," Remus had responded dryly. She smiled into his chest as he rested his chin on the crown of her head. "Certainly not me."
— — — — —
When Y/N tries to discreetly deliver a small care package of chocolate and books a few nights before the next full moon, she accidentally overhears Peter ask James when Remus was ending his fake relationship.
"I doubt it'll raise any suspicions now that no one's pestering him about not having a girlfriend," she hears Peter say.
James makes a noncommittal sort of noise. "You know how Remus is about these things. He's always on edge that someone will think he's the odd one out—"
She feels like the ground beneath her has stuttered and shifted into an open chasm as her mind whirls to make sense of their conversation. For a moment, she thinks she's wrong, but like it was with Remus's furry little problem, if she thinks back on the stranger moments of the past four months, it's not difficult to piece it together. She begins to feel a little ill.
How many times did he force himself to smile at her stories? How many times after walking her back to the Common Room at night did he sigh with relief when she left? How many times did he wait for other students to be around to hold her hand? All the heart-fluttering moments she had thought had been magical and wonderful and incredible with Remus had been entirely one-sided. How humiliating. She feels used and dirty and pathetic, but the worse thing is that she can't feel angry.
She doesn't know how long she stands paralyzed outside, just that it's difficult to breathe or think properly. All she can feel is a numbing ache in her chest, and the feeling tightens when she hears a familiar voice behind her.
"Hmm?" Remus hums, a smile breaking across his face. The dimple in his left cheek appears briefly. "What are you doing here, love?" When she doesn't respond, he steps closer to her and peers at her face carefully, his big, brown eyes soft. "What's wrong?" He asks, gently looping his arms around her waist. Y/N goes perfectly still under his touch. "I knew you'd be studying for the Ancient Runes exam all day, so got some cakes from the kitchen for—"
"Remus," she interrupts suddenly, her throat gone cottony and dry as she raises her gaze to finally look at him. It sends a sharp pang through her chest again. "Are we ever going to kiss?"
Bizarrely, scarlet splotches appear swiftly on the high points of Remus's cheek as his eyes widen a fraction. "Kiss," he repeats, sounding strangled as he stares at her wide-eyed, looking as though she had clubbed him over the head. "You want to kiss?" He asks after a moment, his voice hoarse as his eyes flicker down to her lips.
"Do you want to kiss me?" She asks quietly, watching his throat bob as he swallows thickly.
"I've wanted to since—" Remus says softly, a little nonsensically, his eyes darting back down to her lips. His pupils are blown wide and dark as he swallows, his throat bobbing. “Y/N,” he murmurs, and she can feel his breath brush against her nose. She tries to control the thumping in her chest as he slowly leans in and raises his hand to cup her face. Remus looks down at her with a sweet adoration she knows cannot be real. She's seen this sort of soft look from him countless times before and now she knows better than anyone that it's just another cover. Perhaps it was perfectly clear since the start, but she had let herself get swept away with naive hope. The start of nothing. She feels like a fool.
Remus's head ducks slightly as the space between them closes. Y/N goes perfectly still as she watches his other hand rise, his fingers trembling a little as they reach to curve around her jaw.
For a moment, she entertains the thought and wonders what would happen if she just closes her eyes. She could close her eyes, could lean in and feel his eyelashes brush her cheek, could let him kiss her senseless. It would be so easy. It scares her a little how much she wants that.
Before she can betray herself, Y/N closes her hand around his wrist. “You can stop now,” she says, her voice low and steadier than she felt.
Remus freezes, his dazed expression crumpling in confusion. She takes a steadying breath, swallowing back the bile in her throat as she schools her expression with difficulty. Y/N places his wrist back down away from her face and lets go as she continues, despite the dull ache in her chest. “I wanted to know how far you would go,” she continues quietly. “How far you thought I would be willing to go.”
“I don’t understand—” Remus begins, a myriad of stricken dismay, alarm, and something else flickering across his face. For a moment, she thinks it’s the residue of desire, but she quickly remembers how good of an actor Remus is, and doesn’t let herself entertain that thought that it’s anything else besides panic for being caught.
"I know you're just using me," Y/N says, her throat dry. Her voice, to her mortification, cracks and comes out as a croak. Any sense of anger deflates immediately and all she can feel is this crumbling sense of defeat. “I should have known that something was strange when you suddenly confessed. We had never even really talked before that. I mean, I thought that I was dreaming when you said you liked me—"
“No, it's because—”
"I know why you did it," she whispers. Remus freezes, the color draining from his face. "The worse part of all this is that I can't find it in myself to hate you for using me. But I had just thought that you didn’t think so little of me as to…” She doesn’t finish as she stares down at the space between them, swallowing thickly. She feels ill. The last sentence had come out before she realized it. So that was what it was — disappointment.
"Did you even know my name before James said it?" She asks with a bark of a forced laugh as she straightens, setting her shoulders now though she still has a difficult time looking directly at him.
Remus swallows thickly as he steps forward. His pause is enough of an answer. "Let me explain,” he begins quickly, his words tumbling out in a frantic mess. “Y/N, wait,” he starts, reaching out.
“Don’t touch me, Lupin,” she says dejectedly, stepping away from him. Remus flinches and freezes, his expression falling, but she can't bring herself to look at him in the eye anymore. Y/N stares at the worn patch of carpet by her shoe as she swallows thickly before turning to leave. "You can tell everyone that you broke up with me if it helps you."
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a/n: thx for reading! pt. 2 here my masterlist here
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