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justkeepdancing-nemo · 1 year

Text

Failing Nemo || Romo Texts

Summary: On the last week of the term, the stress from uni becomes too much for Nemo.

Part One of Finding Nemo: Uni Arc

tw: anxiety, depression

DECEMBER 13

Nemo Bae

hey heeeeeey hi what r u doing rn are u studying? [deleted] pay attention to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee [deleted] im losing my mind haha

Robbie

Hey Yeah, I'm studying for my anatomy final which is kind of boring but I swear they added more parts to the human body since I last learned this Nemo Bae

ahahh there are like a tonne of bones thats so weird tho ur a vet student shouldnt u learn about animal parts

Robbie

I think that comes next when I get into more specialized stuff ugh so many bones though you're right how are you though

Nemo Bae

missing youuuu come hang out with me

Robbie

How is studying for finals going? Last time I came to see you we didn't study at all. I failed you

Nemo Bae

thats bc i dont wanna study lol its pointless but hanging out with uuuu isnt

Robbie

Studying isn't pointless Why do you think it's pointless

Nemo Bae

i just cant do it lol i try and i cant pay attention and my back always hurts too much to like sit in one place but if i lay down i fall asleep bc its so boring my grades suck anyway

Robbie

aw that's probably not true I'm sure your grades don't suck I could come over and help you for real this time I can quiz you and stuff

Nemo Bae

they do robbie im not smart like you. i cant write like you. my grades are really bad and ive gotten incompletes in my fellows class because i havent even turned in stuff

Robbie

Hey you're smart don't say that

Nemo Bae

but its true im not smart okay im not cut out for this i dunno i feel like it was just a mistake and im gonna fail anyway so

Robbie

like going to school was a mistake? Nemo you're smart and you can do it. I know you can. You just have to keep trying. it sounds like you're giving up

Nemo Bae

yeah i am ahah ive TRIED ok i keep trying to study for my finals and i cant do it i tried all semester but all i did was hurt myself so i couldnt even dance i have to write final papers in my ballet and contemporary classes now thats two more papers im just gonna go back to the hollow

Robbie

Nemo I can help okay it's not the end of the world and it's going to be fine

Nemo Bae

no its not you dont get it because tis easy for you

Robbie

it's not easy I still have to study like everyone else That's just how school is And if it looks easy it's because I had a lot of years to learn a lot of things But those were years where I had to try and study hard and put in the effort it doesn't just happen for me

Nemo Bae

well i shouldnt distract you from studying then

Robbie

Nemo

Nemo Bae

what? thats what you're saying you say you gotta study and all im doing is getting in your way you dont have time to help me anyway esp when it doesnt matter and its too late Robbie

We can talk about it more don't just pull away. That's not what I'm saying it's not too late we can work on it together

Nemo Bae

and then when i fail anyway????

Robbie

then you pick yourself up and try again You can replace those grades if you really think you're going to fail You can retake the class

Nemo Bae

i dont want to. i DONT. its too much and too stressful theres a reason not a lot of fairies go to uni esp not from a hollow im so tired of sucking this much

Robbie

You don't suck

Nemo Bae

how would u even know how much i suck robbie youre not in my classes do u want me to send u pics of all my shitty papers lol then youll realize im a lost cause

Robbie

I will never think you are a lost cause

Nemo Bae

i dont even see why we're arguing about this its not even your business

Robbie

Oh its not? im not supposed to care?

Nemo Bae

i just dont see why you do this much

Robbie

You don't see why I care about you and your life this much

Nemo Bae

i dont see why you care about whether or not i go to school if you cared about me then youd say ok nemo i love you but apparently i have to be a freaking genius for you too

Robbie

Because you wanted to go to school? Because you want to take all those dance classes?

Nemo Bae

but i was wrong okay? and it sucks and i spent my appa's money and he's gonna be disappointed in me and clearly you're disappointed in me

Robbie

im not disappointed I just think you're being too hard on yourself

Nemo Bae

i feel like quitting is actually finally letting myself chill but ok

Robbie

im just afraid you'd regret it and I really don't think it's as much of a lost cause as you think it is But I can butt out I guess im sorry

Nemo Bae

its my fault its fine i'll let you get back to studying [deleted] this conversation felt really bad, im sorry i was.. i didnt mean to make it sound [deleted] maybe we can try it, you helping me deleted] im sorry, robbie

Robbie

Yeah, if you wanna talk later just text me

Nemo Bae

okay

DECEMBER 13, SEVERAL HOURS LATER

Robbie

hey i just wanted to check and see how you are doing and say i'm sorry for upsetting you

Nemo Bae

you really dont have to apologize. im the one. i know i lashed out at you and took a lot of my frustration and stress out on you and im really sorry about that. i shouldnt have said a lot of the things i said. i know youre just caring about me. im feeling a little better now though

Robbie

That's good! If you want me to come over I can. I want to see you

Nemo Bae

oh im actually uh i kinda left lol i'll be back in a couple of days though! i wanna see you then

Robbie

You left?

Nemo Bae

yeah i think i needed to get out and clear my head and i already feel a lot better

Robbie

Oh okay that makes sense. Did you go to the hollow

Nemo Bae

no im going camping with tae

Robbie

camping?

Nemo Bae

yeah there's this campsite we went to in the summer its got little cabins too tho we might just sleep in the car

Robbie

aren't your finals and stuff...are you gonna miss them?

Nemo Bae

probably? i told you though, im gonna fail anyway and seriously as soon as i decided to go it was like a huge weight off my shoulders i'll work on my papers maybe a little while im gone idk

Robbie

okay I love you be safe please

Nemo Bae

we will! i love you too robbie i really do wanna talk when i get back

Robbie

ill be here

#romo #text #eek

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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years

Note

OK I GOT 5 HOURS OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT WHICH IS PRETTY OK IG (I did stay up to read the fic-) BOTH MY TESTS WENT LIKE SHIT, I HAD AN ANXIETY ATTACK IN PROGRAMMING CLASS BECAUSE BY TEACHER IS A LITTLE SHIT WHO KEPT ON YELLING AT ME WHEN I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND SOMETHING AND I SPENT LUNCH ALONE BUT AT LEAST NOW IM ALONE WITH MY LAPTOP SO YAYAYAYYA

first of all, this chapter right here is my comfort chapter from now on. i said what i said. I will be rereading it again and again just because i can. it was PERFECTION

here's me going crazy at 2 am yesterday.

MAGNUS' CHAPTER

LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO

AHHHHHHH IT'S THEIR ANNIVERSARY

SCREAM

alec shaved his beard because it made him look older

RAFAEL WAS SO UPSET AFTER THE MEXICO ATTACK BECAUSE OF ANJALI RIGHT??

magnus and alec are the oblivious parents istg

“Are you decent?” Max yelled. “I don’t want to be traumatized again.”

“Hey! We agreed not to talk about that!” Alec yelled back.

Im not even surprised at this point

“Happy anniversary, bapa!” Rafael kissed him on the cheek and handed him the flowers.

“Where are my flowers?” Alec asked.

Rafael plucked a rose from the bouquet and threw it at Alec. “Here you go.”

“Thanks, son,” Alec mumbled.

IM WHEEZING

DAVID BAKES

“David made it,” Max said shyly. "

Oh,” Alec replied and then shrugged. “Well, the icing could be a little sweeter I think.”

Ever since Max started dating, Alec had become incredibly protective. Alec liked David of course – it was impossible to find someone who didn’t. But that didn’t mean Alec approved.

And it didn’t help that the blond boy was absolutely terrified of Alec.

ALEC STOP TEASING HIM

THE BOY IS ALREADY SCARED

“I don’t know,” Alec analysed the card. “David used too much glitter.”

“Since when do you have a problem with excessive glitter?” Max demanded.

ALEC

“I didn’t use him!” Max huffed. “He was thoroughly compensated for his efforts!”

“Compensated how?” Alec asked.

“Uh,” Max said. “With donuts.”

when i saw donuts i immediately thought of rose and luisa from jtv

iykyk

but should i continue the show? i got tired of jane continuously embarrasing herself

“You expect us to follow rules?” Alec asked in surprise. “In our own home? On our anniversary?”

The warlock boy grinned wickedly before leaning close to Alec.

“You better do it, or I will tell everyone about your secret,” Max whispered.

Alec blinked at that.

the secret...

I DONT LIKE HOW MANY THINGS POPPED INTO MY HEAD

is highschool musical that bad? i havent watched it. should i?

what if i cried

i just wanna hug alec??? but i cant say it'll be ok because it wont

“Is that why you are not attending?” Magnus grinned at his friend. “Or is it because you are terrified of Georgia?”

“That child is the reincarnation of Christopher Lightwood!” Ragnor complained. “I heard she made explosives out of demon ichor! Who makes explosions out of demon ichor?”

RAGNOR IS PROBABLY GETTING FLASHBACKS

THESE STUPID FUCKING BITCHES

how tf do you think we have survived huh??

medicine that's how

vaccines, anti biotics and what not

stop being close-minded and fucking do it

ok i know the risk is great

BUT OTHERWISE THEY ALL DIE

it was different for warlocks. The Shadow World was their universe. The nephilim kept it safe. At one point in their lives, they had learned to coexist with them, out of necessity and out of obligation.

And now here they were – working together in the name of friendship and love.

how things change...

what

say what

the causes are what

ok let's not jump to conclusions

im fucking crying wtf

alec doesnt deserve this shit

all he's done is make the world a better place

hes worked so hard on this

RAZIEL CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF

what am i supposed to say to my parents if one of them comes to check on me and im sitting here crying at 2 am

He didn’t want to believe in a reality that would punish Alec. Alec who only wanted to do what is good and right.

Alec was who was losing his hope and strength every passing day. Alec who was struggling. Alec who was turning to desperate measures to cope with all the stress.

please alec

no please

THE ANGELS ARE BITCHES

Because if Magnus found out Raziel was the one causing all this pain for Alec, he would march up to heaven and set the bastard on fire himself.

AND I'LL GO WITH HIM

KNEW THE SPY WAS LIVVY

AWW RAGNOR LIKES SELENA THATS SO SWEET

blue and gold

STOP IT IM CRYING AGAIN

The shadowhunter was a good influence on him. Magnus hoped Alec would see it sooner rather than later.

HUH

HUHU

HUH

omg

GIGI GETTING A SIBLING

“Max isn’t allowed to do a lot of things,” Magnus chuckled. “But he does them anyway.”

thats my boi

GASP

]THE NECKLACE

rafael is growing into the consul voice

they grow up so fast

nope nope he's still the little 5 year old

voice cracking what do you mean he's 20

im glad hes happy with mila. or is he...?

Magnus had deduced as much. Alec lived in his beautifully oblivious world. But Magnus noticed.

He noticed the hickeys. He noticed the late-night visits. He noticed the tense phone calls.

well thank god there's at least one non-oblivious person (alec i love you so much but you are very very oblivious)

“What’s stopping you then?” Magnus asked.

"2554 miles,” Rafael chuckled sadly.

me with all my online friends

probably more miles

Magnus tried to do the math but promptly gave up.

But Alec did lie though. Magnus pushed the thought away.

NOT NOW

LET ME LIVE IN PEACEFUL OBLIVION

HUSH

“Except melt it?” Rafael chuckled.

“Yes,” Magnus chuckled back. “As you can see, the bar is extremely low in the Lightwood family.”

AHHIUCCDSKUHDCV

i have no clue what the words describing the outfit are

time to google

OK PRETTY

Fifteen years. Fifteen years of loving and Alec still made his heart stutter.

dont do this to me right now I WILL CRY

“What the hell?” Max exclaimed. “Why are you all dressed up?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, it’s my anniversary,” Alec chuckled.

Max-

Fifteen years. Fifteen years and Magnus still took Alec’s breath away.

HJCSDHJBJDHSGCDYGJVVC JHVDFYMJ

it's not funny MY EYES ARE WATERING

“Bapak is a good looking one in the family,” Rafael pointed out. “You are the chaotic one and I am the smart one.”

“What am I then?” Alec asked dryly. “A sack of potatoes?”

“You’re the sexy one,” Magnus grinned. “A sexy sack of potatoes.”

yes.

Alec grinned back and leaned forward. Magnus put his hands around Alec’s neck and kissed him. He kissed Alec with all the love he had inside his heart.

Just like the first time. Just like the hundredth time. Just like the thousandth time.

Because with Alec, every kiss mattered. Every single one.

muffled sob

“Stop making out, oh my god!” Max groaned.

Magnus sensed a pillow coming their way but Rafael caught it before it hit them.

“Max, stop!” Rafael scolded. “You will wrinkle dad’s suit and ruin bapak’s hair! I spent hours ironing both!”

why is max me when i see people display affection in front of me

ALSO RAFAEL HKUIUIDCSKIHUDFVHJDFVHU

“They are here,” Rafael said. “You two better look exactly the way you did when I left with Max or I will raise hell.”

IM SCREAMING

Selena was wearing a blue crop top with the words “MIND YOUR OWN UTEREUS” written in gold.

i need that top

DAVID'S SHIRT IS THE COLOR OF MAX'S MAGIC

AHH ISABELLE DOESNT KNOW SHE'S PREGNANT YET

The argument of “who gave the best gift” had started when Jace and Izzy had gotten drunk on vodka. It didn’t help that Alec had gotten drunk as well. All three Lightwood siblings had then proceeded to have an argument about who had the best spouse. The whole night had been drunken chaos. Magnus, Clary and Simon had let them have it since the Lightwood siblings had a tendency to carry the world on their shoulders even when nobody asked them. They rarely ever let loose ever since their worlds had plunged into sickness and demon attacks. Especially Alec. So, Magnus had let his husband be that 18-year-old boy again. The boy who got drunk and fought with his siblings and sang songs about Magnus’ pretty eyes.

OH MY GOD THE CHAOS

Georgia considered that. “I’m not allowed to melt it, right?”

“No,” they all replied in chorus.

LET GIGI MELT IT

SELENA IM SO PROUD OF YOU

“Dad,” Max said. “Can you keep a picture of me wearing this necklace in your office?”

“Why?” Rafael asked.

“I think it will piss off the boomers,” Max giggled.

“Nice!” Lexi grinned. “A downworlder wearing a shadowhunter heirloom? They will lose their heads. Uncle Alec, you must do it.”

“I will do you one better. I will hang a tapestry,” Alec chuckled.

YASSS I CANT WAIT FOR THE SHADOWHUNTERS TO BE PISSED

AWW THEY DIDNT KNOW THE NECKLACE USED TO BELONG TO MAGNUS

he actually gave to camille first-

Why couldn’t this boy just cause chaos during his travel year like the rest of them? Why did he actually study and do his research as recommended?

why would you NOT study and research during your travel year????

oh shit

well well well

david bby stfu

i love you but pls stop speaking for all our sakes

“Holy shit,” Max said. “It is expensive then!”

“Don’t pawn the ruby!” Rafael warned.

MAX NO-

OH THE STONE COMES FROM EDOM

oh no

pls dont fight

oh so i was wrong about magus confronting him from that snippet

all you need to know is im sobbing right now and grammarly is the only thing making this coherent

dont mind me just

NO I FORGOT ABOUT MAX AND DAVID

GET BACK IN THE ROOM YOU IDIOTS

don't do this to me at 3 am

OK THE DILF PART

thank you for adding light into my life again

(me while editing this: today really isn't my day huh? i just slipped in rainwater outside my balcony because I heard rain and ran there. now my knee and back hurt and I think I sprained (?) my toe-

ANYWAY

wait im gonna go check out the rain and then continue editing this

ok i got bored of the rain)

that made me laugh through my tears

“Objectively good looking?” Jace snorted. “Excuse you, but my parabatai is smoking hot! He is a freaking prize, okay? If we had a magazine for hot shadowhunters, you would be on the cover page. Every single issue.”

“Okay, that’s enough!” Alec interrupted. “Magnus, are you happy? Now all my friends have told me I am pretty.”

“I said smoking hot,” Jace corrected.

“We are not being biased,” Clary pointed out. “It is the general consensus, Alec.”

“It’s true,” Lexi said. “So many people have asked me for your number, Uncle Alec. And I would have given it to them if I wasn’t worried about being turned into a marshmallow.”

LEXI DUHDUGHUDFCUHKVDFUIKFDU

“Dad, I don’t know why you are so worried,” Max said in a bored tone. “You’re a told DILF.”

David choked on his champagne and Jace patted him on the back.

“What the hell is a DILF?” Alec demanded.

“Oh, I know this one!” Jace said excitedly. “It means Dashing and Irresistible Looking Father. Max is right, you are a total DILF.”

“Mr. Herondale-” David raised a hand.

“I heard one of the shadowhunters in their travel year calling me a DILF too,” Jace said proudly.

THAT IS NOT WHAT DILF MEANS OH MY GOD

“It’s not a rumour,” Selena spoke up and passed her phone. “There is a group chat at Scholomance just to thirst after you.”

add me to it

ALL THE COMMENTS I CANT BREATHE

“Alec Lightwood can run me over with a Maserati and I would thank him.”

“Give me that,” Izzy grabbed the phone and started giggling. “Petition for Consul Alec Lightwood-Bane to stab me with his mortal sword.”

“Isabelle!” Alec hissed, cheeks flaming. “Stop it!”

“I want one!” Jace grabbed the phone now. “By the Angel!”

“Read it!” the kids yelled in chorus.

“I would gladly let Consul Lightwood-Bane inspect my mortal instruments,” Jace chuckled and threw the phone at David.

David shook his head vehemently and threw it at Max.

“My body is just a hole for Alec Lightwood,” Max read out loud and started laughing so hard that he fell off his chair.

Lexi grabbed the phone and giggled. “I want the Consul to strip off my runes among other things.”

She passed the phone to Gigi, who looked at the phone and look at Alec.

“Uncle Alec,” the girl said. “This person wants you to crush them with your massive archer arms.”

“Give me that,” Rafael grabbed it now. “Aw, this one is a classic, dad. Alec Lightwood turned me gay.”

He threw the phone at Simon, who stared the screen and looked up. “Uh, I don’t think I can read this one out loud in front of the kids.

“Is this the one about the basement?” Selena chuckled and Simon nodded.

WHAT'S THE BASEMENT ONe

TELL ME

AWW GIGI AND LEXI PUTTING MAKEUP ON DAVID AND MAX RECORDING IT

google translator time

oooo Rafael's gonna talk with Mila

Magnus you're such a good father

seriously

“Sometimes things are just sad. So, you need to let yourself be sad.”

YES

SAY IT LOUDER

THEY ARE UNDER THE BED

AHHH MAX AND DAVID

DAVID CALLED HIM MY ANGEL IN FRENCH

Alec and Magnus hiding under the bed and spying on them is just-

Jace had tried to give Max the shovel talk and had gotten a little too emotional.

of course, he did smh I love him so much

“David doesn’t need a shovel talk,” Alec smiled. “He knows what would happen to him if he hurts my son.”

David gulped. “You will throw me into the silent city?”

“I will ask me husband to portal you to hell,” Alec said – Consul Voice. “We have relatives there.”

the beloved relatives yes

“Goodnight,” Jace gave them a salute. “Have fun inspecting Magnus’ mortal instruments.”

JACE

OH SO THE QUESTION WAS ABOUT SMOKING

damn it

oh my god guys he said he'll stop smoking

just lemme have this moment

my boy's lungs will be intact

HIS LUNGS WILL BE OK

“I can’t wait to see all the messages on the chat after that,” Magnus giggled.

Alec looked up. “I’m more than a tall glass of water, Magnus!”

SCREAMING

In his dream, he saw them again. But they weren’t smiling this time.

what

wait

THE PROPHETIC DREAMS

nope nope nope

Nah I don't know what you're talking about

haha

damn, I think I really hurt my back...

OK BUT THE IMMORTALITY ANGST???? WAS SO SO GOOD???? I know it makes me cry but is it bad that I'm always so excited for angst written by you because of HOW GOOD it is????

"When I die I will love you from my grave" I NEED THIS ON MY FOREHEAD OH MY GOD I LOVE THESE TWO SO SO MUCH

alright I need to get something for my back and my knee (I'm home alone so this will be fun)

OK, I THINK THE NEXT CHP WILL BE ANJALI'S POV I JUST FEEL IT!!! I miss my girl so much I hope she's doing ok. Jaime too...

I'm rereading all of these chapters after chapter 10 because why not. Bye!!

OKAY I AM GLAD YOU LIKED IT BUT I AM ALSO DEEPLY WORRIED ABOUT YOUR HEALTH.

I hope your knee and back feels better soon!

also fuck that teacher yelling something doesn't make people understand it any better ugh dumb piece of shit anyway screw that person.

I hope you get some good rest and recovery from this rollercoaster of a day.

Take care!

#lbaf

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eddieismypimp · 4 years

Text

Snuck in

Summary: You and Oscar go on a really cute date and have a wonderful day. Then y'all come home and find out that your daughter snuck her boyfriend in while yall were gone and the whole vibe is ruined. Warnings: DRAMATIC ASF FOR NO REASON, cussing, a little violence but its not terrible, also, this story is gonna be kind of long because I can't control myself when it comes to writing and it takes me nine years to settle on an ending. A/N (PLEASE READ): before I start the story I just wanna say, in NO way do I condone violence, this story idea has been in my head for a while and I have no idea why but I needed to write it. I'm scared to post this because it's absolute trash and I have anxiety. If you dont like this type of story I am truly very sorry. Also, thank you for the people that are supporting me and liking my stuff. You guys are wonderful and I hope you have a great, non-boring quarantine. <3 p.s. please don't bash me, I'm not the best writer.

I was laying on my bed, scrolling through insta when my husband walked into the bedroom. "Hi baby." I said smiling up at him. "Hi beautiful." He got on the bed and started kissing my face. "You should get ready soon hermosa." He said kissing my neck. " I have plans for us today." "Aw really? What are we doing?" I asked with a smile. "That's a surpirse, dress comfortable though." He said smiling and getting up walking back out the room. I smiled to myself. He's literally so cute. Everyone thinks he's so tough but hes the biggest teddy bear. He's my squishy. I giggled at that thought. I really hope its a date. We haven't went on a proper date in like two years and I was DYING for some romance. I went to me and Oscar's shared closet. I rummaged through it for about 15 minutes before I just decided on a black floral dress that was flowy and comfortable. I walked to the bathroom and decided to take a quick shower. -Time skip because I'm fucking lazy- After I got out of the shower, I brushed my teeth, moisturized my hair, put lotion on and all that good stuff before I got dressed. When I was finished with all of that, I slipped on some black sandals to finish the look. I grabbed my phone and my little purse and walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Oscar and Cesar were sitting at the table talking. Oscar had a mean look on his face as usual but when he saw me he smiled. I smiled back. I got my glass of water and walked towards the table to take a seat. As soon as I sat down, our daughter Mariposa walked in. (side note, I'm sorry if anyone has this name or has used this name or something I just think its beautiful) " Hi mami, hi papi" She said kissing me and Oscar's cheek. "Hi my baby." I said smiling at her. "Hi princesa." Oscar said to her before going back to talking to her tio. She came over to me. "Mama, when are you and papa leaving?" She asked me. "I'm not sure my darling" I asked her. "Why?" "You got plans or something?" Oscar chimed in. She looked at him. "No papi." She said a little to quickly which was a little suspicous but I brushed it off. He looked at her with one eyebrow raised. "I'm just gonna miss you guys thats all." She said with a pout. I absolutely melted. Even tho she's fifteen, she's still my little baby. "Awww." I said pulling her into a hug and kissing her forehead. Oscar chcukled. "We'll be back soon mi corazon. And when we come back, we can watch movies and eat snacks." He said standing up to kiss her forehead. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up off the chair. "You ready hermosa?" He asked me. "Yes," I said smiling. "Bye baby." I said to my daughter kissing her head. "Bye guys, be careful and have fun." She waved at us. Me and Oscar got in his car. "We're gonna gave a great day baby , are you ready for this?" He asked looking at me. "I was born ready." We both laughed. "So, where are we going? I asked him. "That's a surprise baby." He said as he started driving to an unknown location. I shook my head and giggled. -another time skip - We pulled up to some place that looked like a flower shop. I looked at Oscar with a smile, he knew I loved flowers. He got out of the car and I followed. He grabbed my hand and we walked in. The workers greeted us as I looked at all the pretty flowers. "Come on hermosa" Oscar said pulling me towards a door that lead to the back of the store. "I want you to see something." I just allowed him to pull me desperate to see what he wanted to show me. He opened the door and I was in absolute SHOCK! My jaw dropped. It was so pretty. There was a little table with two chairs, some candles, and two silver platters covered up. There was a huge umberella covering the table with fairy lights hanging off of it above us. In the background there was a huge feild filled with a plethora of flowers. It was absolutley breathtaking. "Do you like it?" He asked me looking at me with hopeful eyes. I started tearing up. "Oh mamita don't cry." he said taking my face in his hands and kissing my cheek. "You set all this up" I asked "For me?" "Of course I did baby" He said "You're my world and I would do anything for you." "This is so perfect Oscar" I said wrapping my arms around him and burying my face in his chest. "It's beautiful." "Anything for you baby" He said grabbing my hand and kissing it. "Let's go sit down." He pulled me towards the table and pulled my chair out for me. I sat down and he pushed the chair towards the table little. Then he sat down opposite of me. "This is amazing Oscar." I said with a smile. He just smiled back at me. -ANOTHER time skip, dont hate me- After we finished eating our dinner and talking, we decided to go on a walk through the feilds and pick some flowers. He took some pictures of me and I took some pictures of him. It was truly an amzaing day. We started the walk back to the car. "Oscar... thank you for today. It was truly amazing and I'm glad I have you in my life. I said grabbing his hands and looking in his eyes. "I'm glad I have you too baby, I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you or Mariposa." He kissed me. We got in the car and I put my head on his shoulder while he drove home. -at home- We got out of the car hand in hand. Happy about how today turned out. I dont know about Oscar but I was ready to cuddle with my loves and watch disney movies. We walked in and Oscar let go of my hand almsot immediately. I gasped. We both froze. My daughter was on some guys lap and they were making out. I looked at Oscar because I knew he was about to flip. The guy pushed Mariposa off of him and onto the couch. Mariposa looked actually petrified. I was very upset. Before I could even react, Oscar charged at the poor boy and started punvhing him. I ran over. Mariposa was begging him to stop. "Oscar, oscar please stop." I said trying to grab his arm. He pushed my arms away and continued to hit the boy. "Oscar!" I yelled one last time and he finally stopped. Oscar was livid, Mariposa was crying, I was freaked out, and that poor boy was bloodied and bruised. "Oscar, oscar come on" I said grabbing his face in my hands. "Look at me, it's gonna be okay, I promise." I tried to reason with him but he was still mad. He looked at the boy who was trying to pick himself up off the floor with Mariposa's help. "Get him the fuck out of my house." He said through clenched teeth. The boy finally got up off the floor and walked out the door. Oscar looked at Mariposa who was just standing there crying. "Give me your phone and go to your room. He said with a stern look. "You're grounded from now for til college." (if you get this ily) She handed him her phone and went to her room. "Oscar... I get you're mad baby and I'm VERY upset myself but you didn't have to beat him up like that right in front of her...." I said caressing his cheeks. "My poor baby was terrified oscar." I frowned. "She disrespected me y/n. She disrespected both of us.." He paused. "I can't just let that shit slide because then she'll think that she can get away with anything." "I totally get that oscar, I'm her parent too and I know she needs discipline", "but I'm just saying that was a lttle extreme..." "I know.... I couldn't control myself" He said looking down at his brusied and bloody knuckles. "It's okay baby." I took his hands in mine careful not to hurt him. "Go wait for me in bathroom" "I'm gonna go talk to Mariposa and then I'll come clean you up." I said kissing his cheek. He walked to the bathroom as I walked to my daughters room. I heard her crying. I knocked. "Posie, it's just me baby." I said opening her door. She had her face in her pillows crying. "Aww come here my baby." I said sitting down on her bed and bringing her into my arms. "I hate him mama." She cried. "Now now, don't say that. Your papa only wants whats best for you" I said as I rubbed her head to try and soothe her. "I know, what just happened was very scary and traumatizing for you but you have to understand that you are still your papa's little girl even if you are growing up" I said pouting. "You know your father would do anything to protect you and seeing you with that boy really freaked him out and brought him to the reality that you're getting older.....You can't be mad at him for loving you baby" I said putting my hands on her cheeks." Don't get me wrong, I am very upset and disappointed too but I understand. I did the same thing with your dad when I was your age, I just didnt get caught" I said. She giggled at that. I smiled. "Theres my happy girl" I said as I kissed the top of her head. "Now, I want you to go apologize to your dad." She nodded her head. "Okay mama." "You're still grounded though." I said standing up and following her out of her bedroom. She slowly stalked to bathroom where Oscar was. She peaked her head in. Oscar was looking at his hands. "Papa..." Her voice was barely a whisper and I don't even know how Oscar heard her. He looked up at her. She started tearing up again. "I'm really sorry.." She said full on crying now. Oscar sighed. "Come here bebita." Oscar said motioning to go over to him with his hand. She sowly walked over to him and immediately fell into his embrace. "I'm sorry I freaked out like that princesa. He said rubbing her head. "You're my little girl, and seeing you with that boy.. something inside me snapped." "I understand papi...I'm really sorry I did that and I promise I'll never do it again." she said looking up at him. "It's okay baby...now go to your room, me and your mama will make dinner for you." He said kissing her temple. "Okay, papa" She said walking over to me. She gave me a hug. "I love you mama." "I love you too baby." the end.

#oscar diaz imagines #on my block #on my block imagine #oscar x reader #oscar diaz x reader #spooky #spooky x reader #on my block fanfiction #fanfiction #imagine #x reader

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night-rhea · 4 years

Text

MC House Challenge! ❤️💛💙💚

This is @kyril-hphm ‘s amazing idea! I wanted to do it daays days ago but... Some shit happens everyday right? And ı also wanted to try different style to draw hairs, ım sure one day ım gonna figure it out. (ı realized ı made their eyes color wrong...damn.)

So here ı am with my girls!

İts turn out a bit long, so ım putting this button here. İf you want to know girls better, just click it!

Gryffindor Night ❤️

She is LOUD. You think Slytherin Night is loud enough? Just wait to hear this Gryffindor's voice. Bill use her in the mornings when a few Gryffindor couldn’t wake up in the time. Also need a silent moment in the common room? Just ask her, ım pretty sure even Ravenclaw Tower can hear her "Shut the fuck up!"

Also yes, this Night is not shy about swearing. But she is mostly creating absurd swear sentences. "For the fuck sake Merula, ı dont give a fuck about your fucking power GO AWAY AND FUCK SOMEBODY ELSES EAR WİTH ALL YOUR SHİT" As you can guess, she is bff with Merula.

İf you cant hear her voice, there is 2 possible place she can be. Quidditch Pitch and detention.

She is playing as a Chaser and this is the one of the only way to shut her up. Like Rath, she let her skills speak for her. Even its just a practise, Night is always so focussed in game, sometimes her looks scaring Charlie away. She really loves Quidditch, this adrenaline. Oh and she loves the victory of course. That makes her second Skye. Poor poor Orion..

For the detention part, she is in there more than she is in her own dorm room. Unlike Slytherin Night, she is a fan of Tonks and Tulip's pranks and loves to mess with grumpy Filch. Also detention is not that bad. With Jae here, there is always a way to have fun. Charlie always says that one day Night and Jae's closeness will blow their towers up. Everyone is just waiting for this day. Even McG.

Lets talk about her relationship with Jacob. They were really close when they are little. Because of their last name's bad popularity (ım planning to explain this later), they didnt have any friend other than each other. When Jacob left home, she lost not just her brother but also her best friend too. (Lucky for her, in Hogwarts there will be Rowan)

She dyed her hair red right before coming Hogwarts. To show everyone how she is gonna be Gryffindor just like her brother. Also while everyone talking shit about Jacob, Night refused to believe her precious brother can do something bad like that.

giggles Wanna gossip about her? Like her best friend ,she has a big fat crush on Bill. You should see how she blush when Bill compliment her. She cant help it he is "too fucking cool"!

Night and Rowan spend so many nights to talking and fangirling about him. But after realizing that he see her as a sibling, not a lover, she was a little heartbroken and tried to date some other guys who is like him. She ended up single of course, because no one can be perfect like him.

İf you want chaos, Gryffindor Night is your girl!

Hufflepuff Night 💛

My favorite thing about this Night is her smile. İts so warm and full of love..I should admit she is the purest Night but she is too good for her own. This is the why she is entire Hufflepuff's little sister. Especially Diego's. But nor she or me can decide that he fancy her or just love her as a little sister. you know, because its Diego...

Not so suprisingly ,She loves to take care of her friends, just like Orj Night, but this girl is doing it more serious. She is the mom friend of their group. She is gonna make sure you eat all your meal and drink enough water. And if you didnt, well you need to deal with her. Also Night will remind you to take right books for your class if you two have same class. "Did you study for todays quiz? Oh why didnt you?! Come on ı can tutor you! We only got 11 minutes but nevermind that!" Dont worry she got you. Aand One more thing, she has best shoulder to cry. Im not kidding, she will hug you until you feel better and ı can guarentee you that her kind hug and angelic voice will help you calm down.

İn the other hand, Huff Night is not good at handling her own bad emotions. Her anxiety level is a little higher than other Night's.

She is not a "so different" person. İts her words not mine. Being Rhea makes her a little bit special of course but not in the good way. She is just average girl with a unlucky family, thats all. She loves her loved ones more than she loves herself, and always wish that she can be powerfull just to protect them. But sadly she dont believe she can, she is not like Merula. Not that brave or confident . Or Tonks. Not that talented. Or Penny. Not that pretty and popüler. Aah ah, this pure girl has a lot in her mind(or should ı say her heart?) but so shy to talk about them. Damn girl, go and talk about this to Rowan (While you still can...Can you imagine how she break after she cant save her best friend..?)

Enough, İts time to tell you happy thing about her life! She was very suprised and happy (but mostly suprised) when Merula ask Night to be her date. They started to date in fourth year. (Everyone thanked Night for making Merula more calm and tolerable. Night said that Merula dont need to be tolerated) Well they have their up and downs of course. Before Rakepick betray them, fifth year was pretty good (Night cried for her girlfriend when she learn about Merula's parent) but unfortunate thing that happened in buried vault, made their hearts to apart. Night still love her deeply and wishes she was powerfull enough to save her from Rakepick so they would still next to each other now.(I know ı said "happy thing". Thats why ı wont tell you that after Rowan's death Night thinks maybe its best if Merula far from her. No ı wont tell you that)

But dont worry about her! She is gonna smile no matter what because her smile can make someone else smile too! İf you love tea and cookie, please let her know your favorite cookie. Her mom sending her delicious Turkish tea and she will be happy to share with you!

Ravenclaw Night 💙

After Slytherin Night, Ravenclaw Night is my second favorite. I really love her general mood.

As you can see, she is the only Prefect Night. And there is simple reason for that, she is perfectionist. She didnt became Prefect because she wants to help others, she became one to make sure everything is right. All other Night helped their Rowan to be Prefect but Ravenclaw Night dont believe that other Ravenclaw's will listen Rowan. She herself is more suited, just like Chester. (She really respect Chester) But dont get me wrong, Night dont underestimated Rowan. She just believe Prefect should be more serious and Rowan's heart is so pure for that.

And unlike Hufflepuff Night, this girl have a lot faith in herself. When Night is doing something, she knows it will be perfect because she wont stop untill its perfect.

I should warn you about her, she loves to complain. "Damn ı have to do all work. Why cant you do anything right on your own? İt was easy, even for you. Go and do something else ım gonna finish this one. No stop wait dont do anything. Just. Go."

Just like this,she can easily tell "rude" words. Even if she didnt trying to be rude. She is just saying whats true! İts not her fault that truth is more bitter than lies. And sorry but truth has to be told. Even if someones heart can get hurt. Lies can make everything worse than a little heartbreak. İts like a poison that tastes good and late effecting. They should thank her for not poisoning them.

Her friends? She dont have a lot. Because of her rude attitude, a lot of people dont get near her often. Fine by her. She dont want "extras" anyways. Her little group of friends is enough for her. Also she have Rowan, right? Rowan is her true soulmate. This two girls can spent hours in library and this is their favorite hang out. Honestly all Night need is Rowan and some book, she can live without any other people, thanks. But she can admit Talbott and Badea are pretty good too. Especially Talbott. He is her second best friend, if she has to give it a number. (This two became friends a little too fast. They have so many similarities. Biggest one is "Fuck Peoples" motto. They even have a ugly t-shirt that saying that. Andre died when he saw it for the first time.)

I think her mom Selina is responsible for Night's reckless behaviour. She was already angry to Jacob for leaving her behind and being ignored by her only parent makes her..ıdk, like that? She tried so hard to make Selina to notice her daughter is still with her.Tried to make her portrait with her pastel pencils, tried to brush her long hair and dressed like a princess, tried to write " I love you" in her mirror. But little Night's little heart couldnt understand that pain of losing her son (just like how she lose her husband.) When she came to Hogwarts, she give up about her mom." İf a mother dont need to worry about her own child, then ı dont need to worry about anyone else too." But of course, she is not that heartless like she likes to think.

I think you can imagine that other students calls her names. Like "freak" or "selfish" or "egoist". She mostly just ignore them (because she dont believe they are worth to explain why she is not these name) and pretend like nothing had happened, Talbott and Rowan know she actually care and wants to be more "good". More "likeable". She is just making everyone uncomfortable when she walks in and she know it. But there is nothing she can do. İts in her blood. She is just like her mother.

I feel like ı talk too much about bad thing. İts time to tell moments when Ravenclaw Night smile. She dont have a normally smiley face but of course she smile. And you know what? İts mostly because of her boyfriend. This girl has a big soft spot for Barnaby. She literally melt every time he talk. İn the beggining she thinks he is just some stupid Slytherin and not worth lose any time but after being friends (which is a miracle) she can punch you in the face if you call him stupid. (Dont test about how hard she can punch.)

How the heck this boys heart can be this beautiful? Like, boy your parents nothing but shit to you how did you turn into biggest and cutest puppy in the world? And again, how did he love her? I mean, look at Night and look at Barnaby. They are so different and he can be with literally every witch in schooli and yet he is with Night. She dont know what she did to be this lucky but she is not planning to let him go. Just watch her.

(And ı dont know if she will notice you if you dont talk with her. She will talk with you politely at first, dont worry. Just try to not say something about her being bad prefect or something bad about her friends or boyfriend, you will be fine.)

Slytherin Night 💚

It's finally Original Night's turn to shine. How about starting with why she is most masculine looking Night?

İt was because of Selina. After Jacob left, he was the only thing Selina talk about. She talked about how she misses him playing violin, his eyes that he took from her husband, his gentle voice. Unlike Ravenclaw Night, this didnt make our Night angry. İt made her jealous. She decided that if she wants to make her mom happy, she should remind her Jacob. Maybe if she can do this, her mom would miss him less and smile more to Night. So she asked Selina to cut her hair like Jacob's.

While she growing, she tried to act like Jacob. She learned violin, wore his old clothes. She even answered when Selina called her "Jacob". And it worked. Selina started to smile more, started to talking with her more, even she cook special meals sometimes. Menu was always full with Jacob's favorites but it doesnt matter to Night. Her mom did it for her!

İn Hogwarts, she learned that she is nothing like Jacob. Hello, dissappointment. She was too loud, too energetic, too friendly. She learned that she can't be Jacob for her mom. At first, it freaked her out.

Thats why she didnt want to go Celestial Ball. Didnt want to wear dress and made her hair longer. (She did want. She just didnt let herself.) And when Andre and Rowan keep asking about,, Night finally tell them everything. You know what happened? Her two angel friends talked about hours how they love her in the way she is, how she dont need to be Jacob because its her own life and she deserved to be happy.

After a lot of hugs and crying, Night wore the dress that match her name, kept her hair short.

I made this too longer ı guess ( ı was planning not to tell about Slytherin Night...) but ı always wanted to explain why ı love her. İm proud of that she can make her peace with herself. Selina is still problem for her, and still will be problem in the future too but right now Night is free from the cage she made it herself. Of course sometimes her anxiety hit her and made her feel like she is all wrong but its not a something a few late night flying cant solve.

Am ı gonna make it longer because ı wanna talk about Night and Talbott relationship? No, there will be another time for that.

She is always open for more friends. Wanna play quidditch or make/ listen music or drink tea or cook something? Night will be happy to join you in literally everything.

#night rhea #hphm #hphm mc #hogwarts mystery #mc house challenge #Jacobs sibling

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zachsreaderinserts · 5 years

Text

Taking a Stand

ship: platonic!bbs x male!reader

dialogue prompt: "No! I'm tired of doing what you tell me!"

warnings: abusive relationship, high school au, i poured my heart and soul into this, it felt really nice to write something like this

"Good morning, gamers," I mumbled, walking to our table in the cafeteria. My friends simply said their greetings back or just nodded at me, looking just as tired as I was.

Mondays were always hard on us, especially since we all were trying to keep up with our channels on the weekends. We all probably had a few hours of decent rest.

"Is everyone gonna be ready to upload our Prop Hunt video tonight?" Craig asked, pulling out the Uno cards. It was a tradition for us to play before school started.

"Yeah," Tyler muttered.

"Yup," Evan replied.

"I think so. I haven't had the chance to edit it yet." Brock gave me a look, that was between concerned and confused.

"You're usually the first one to finish editing out of all of us." I yawned, tears pricking my eyes.

"Angel called me last night. She was ranting and told me not to hang up, so I couldn't get to it." I missed the eye rolls and the silent scoffs that were passed around the group.

"You could've told her you had something to do." Marcel pointed out as the game had begun.

"She wouldn't be happy about it. I don't like upsetting her." I placed down the first card, nudging Brian to place his next. "I'll try to get it done before dinner."

"There's no pressure, L/n. Take your time." Jonathan reassured me, giving me a soft smile. His smile quickly melted away and before I could ask why tan arms wrapped around my shoulders.

"Y/n!" Angel, my girlfriend of one month, exclaimed. She pecked my lips, smiling happily. "Good morning, baby."

"Mornin', Ang." Looking back down at the table, I noticed it was my turn again and a plus two was laid before me. "Oh, you motherfuckers!" Everyone laughed as I pulled two cards from the deck.

"Don't curse, Y/n." Angel lightly patted my shoulder, giving me an admonishing frown. "It's just a game."

"Sorry, babe. It's just that my friends," I threw out a mock glare, "are little shits."

"I was wondering if you could walk me to my locker." I glanced over at my friends before looking at her. "Please, Y/n!"

"I really want to finish this game." I tried to reason, looking in the green eyes of my lover. "Can you wait until the second bell?"

"Y/n, I want to get there before Samantha and April do so we can catch up on some stuff." Seeing that I was still hesitating, she frowned again. "I bet Raymond would walk me to my locker." I turned back around, trying to hide my hurt expression.

"Yeah, I'll walk you." She clapped in excitement as I set my cards down. "See y'all at lunch." I tried to put on a smile, but it felt forced more than anything. Angel wrapped her hand around mine, leading me away from my friends.

Lately, I've been becoming less happy with Angel. She would give me little bits of an insult, leaving me to wonder if she meant it or not. And whenever I wouldn't let her have her way, she would just grow cold and serious.

But, I still liked her. She meant a lot to me. So, I took everything with stride.

My friends, on the other hand, didn't. Back at the table, all of them grew frustrated and angry with our relationship.

"I fucking hate her," Tyler growled, slamming down a blue card onto the deck.

"Join the club." Marcel sneered, glaring as Angel and I disappeared around the corner. "What does he see in her?"

"Maybe he's just staying for the sex." David pointed out, cursing quietly as a plus four was placed down.

"Y/n's too insecure for sex." Brian countered, crossing his arms. "Remember what happened when he had his fall out with Kyle? The whole reason it started was because Y/n refused to fuck him."

"Whatever it is, I hope it's good enough to justify her shitty behavior." Lui cut in, leaning against Evan. "Though, I doubt there's anything that really can justify it."

"We just gotta trust Y/n for now, guys." Brock sent everyone a reassuring glance. "I'm sure he knows what's best for him."

---

"Happy Valentine's Day!" I cheered, carrying an assortment of flowers and chocolates to my friends.

"Whoa!"

"Chocolate!"

"Holy shit!"

"Oh my God!" Various noises of surprise came from them as I placed the stash on the table, grinning proudly.

"Let me hand them out first, children." They went quiet as I started passing around gift cards with a gift attached.

For Evan, I stayed true to his simplistic nature and got him a bouquet of various red flowers. Jonathan received a chocolate box full of bear shaped candies. I got Lui and Brock assorted flowers, which were in almost every shade of the rainbow. Brian and Craig got Starbucks gift cards while I got David and Marcel Visa gift cards.

The last gift was for Tyler, but it was hidden in a plain, black box.

"Okay, open that one under the table." He did as I said and once he opened it, he started laughing loudly. I started laughing at his reaction, slapping the table.

"Y/n, you didn't!" He pulled out a blue dildo, about the size of his forearm. Brock quickly rushed to hide it, laughing along with the rest of us.

After the short laughing fit, they began to read the cards I gave them, either tearing up or smiling at my genuine messages.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Y/n!" Angel gave me a kiss on the mouth, which made me flustered.

"Ah, Angel! Not in front of the guys!" She pulled back, looking dejected. "Sorry, but you know I don't like kissing in front of other people."

"But it's Valentine's Day!" She pressed, slowly getting visibly angry with me. "Shouldn't we be making out all day?"

"I'm just not comfortable with it." She gave me a glare and I sighed, getting sad. "Sorry, Angel."

"No... Don't be. Just-- Did you get me anything?" I lit up, seeing the opportunity to cheer her up.

"Actually, yeah! It's at my house right now, so if you wanna come over later--"

"You mean to tell me that you don't have a gift to give me during the school day?" I shut my mouth, looking at her in confusion. The table around us went silent.

"Is that 'boyfriend protocol' or something?" She huffed frustratedly, taking a step back and crossing her arms.

"Uh, yes! How am I gonna show everyone how good of a boyfriend you are if you don't have a gift during school hours?"

"I don't think you'd need to flaunt around how good of a boyfriend I am if you already know it." I shrugged, trying to keep the tears at bay. "I'm no genius or anything, but I think I'm a very good boyfriend."

"Nevermind, Y/n. I'm going to class." She hissed, storming off. I clenched my fists, trying not to cry in front of my friends.

"Don't listen to her, Y/n." Lui comforted, leading me back to the table. "She's probably on her period or something."

"I made her a painting of us. I worked hard on it and everything." My voice cracked as I folded my arms and laid my head down on them. "I thought she would appreciate it."

"I don't think you guys should keep dating." Evan rubbed my back while talking to me. "You both clearly aren't happy in this situation."

"No, no. I'll figure it out. I really want to keep dating her." I looked at him with a teary face. "I'm sorry for crying."

"Hey, don't be." David came over, sitting next to me. "Why are you saying sorry?"

"Are you fucking crying right now? That's for babies, Y/n! I'm not gonna date a man who cries like a damn baby after an argument." Angel ranted, pointing at my face.

"I have no clue." I lied, rubbing my eyes harshly.

---

y/ntheactualgod has logged onto: what's jon's sexuality??

y/ntheactualgod: DHSJSK WHO CHANGED THE GROUPCHAT NAME

miniladd: IT WAS ME

h20delirious:

FUCK ALL OF YOU

h20delirious changed the chat name to: craig has a micropenis

y/ntheactualgod: and i oop

iamwildcat: y/n if you say "and i oop" one more time i'm going to freak the fuck out

y/ntheactualgod: A N D I OOP

moosnuckel: now you gotta beat them up tyler you said it yourself

iamwildcat: i'm gonna kick your ass as soon as we get to school tomorrow

y/ntheactualgod: do it pussy

vanossgaming: can i record it for my channel?

basicallyidowrk: they're gonna be the next logan paul and ksi

thegamingterroriser: but who's who?

y/ntheactualgod: call dibs on being ksi

iamwildcat: call dibs on being ksi F U CK I DON'T WANNA BE LOGAN PAUL

daithidenogla: sucks to suck

y/ntheactualgod: hold on, angel's messaging me

---

angelbabycakes: Y/N Y/N Y/N

y/ntheactualgod: what's up sugar

angelbabycakes: can i come over?

y/ntheactualgod: to hang out at like 2 AM?

angelbabycakes: not to hang out silly i wanna take our relationship to the next level

---

I felt my heart stop in my chest as I read over what she sent me.

---

y/ntheactualgod: oh. um, hold on

---

y/ntheactualgod: ANGEL WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHAT DO I DO?????

basicallyidowrk: SEND US A SCREENSHOT

y/ntheactualgod: unknown.png

h20delirious: oh my god

luicalibre: do u wanna have sex with her?

y/ntheactualgod: uhhhhh not really if i'm being honest ITS NOT THAT I DONT LIKE HER I LOVE ANGEL BUT IM NOT READY FOR SEX

miniladd: that's fine y/n! nothing to be worried about. just tell her how you feel

---

y/ntheactualgod: im sorry angel, but im not ready for that yet

angelbabycakes: look out ur window :)

---

"She didn't," I whispered in horror, rushing to go peek out the window. In my backyard stood my girlfriend of three months, who smiled up at me. I saw her put her phone to her ear and my phone lit up with a call from her. Answering it with shaky hands, I looked down at her through the window.

"Hey, baby! Can you let me in?"

"Angel, I love you a lot, but I can't do this." My voice trembled with anxiety as I saw her face be pulled into a frown. "I'm so sorry, honey, but I just can't have sex with anyone right now."

"Why not! I've been dating your sorry ass for three months! The least you could do is make it worth my while!"

"Angel, I--" She let out an enraged yell, picking up one of my lawn chairs and throwing it across my backyard. I watched in horror as she practically messed up my backyard. "Angel, please stop!"

"I'm tired of dating your wimpy ass! I don't deserve to be with such an ungrateful boyfriend." And she hung up on me, storming out of my yard. My hands were shaking so hard, I dropped my phone. Sinking to the floor, I stuck my head into my knees and started sobbing.

Was I crying of fear or heartbreak? I couldn't even tell.

---

"Good morning, Y/n!" I yelped loudly as David clapped his hand on my shoulder. He pulled his hand away, looking at me concerned.

"Oh, hey David." My voice was scratchy from a lack of sleep, but I didn't let it stop me from talking. "Sorry, you just scared me."

"I'm sorry. You look like you just saw a ghost." As we walked over to the lunch table, I kept my eyes open for Angel, becoming more paranoid the further in we walked. "Where were you this morning?"

This morning was really rough for me. I decided to skip out on sitting with my friends to hide in the bathroom, out of fear that Angel would confront me about last night.

"I had a long night. Woke up late." I lied, weakly smiling up at my friend. "Hope you guys were worried about me."

"We kinda were. Especially after what happened earlier this morning." I looked away from David, seeing that we were nearing the lunch table.

"I'm fine," I reassured to him, rushing to go sit down. I missed the unconvinced look on his face as he walked after me. "Hey, guys."

"Y/n! Where've you been?" Evan called out, grinning as I sat between him and Craig.

"Late morning," I responded, pulling out a cup of jello from my lunchbox. "Who won Uno today?"

"Lui did. He was totally cheating, though." Tyler complained, making me smile genuinely. I felt myself relax a little around them as I opened up the cup.

"You're a winner in my heart, Ty--"

"Y/n!" I couldn't help but jump harshly as Angel called out my name. I managed to squeeze all the jello out of the cup and all over my hand. Angel's tan arms wrapped around my shoulders and she moved to peck my cheek. "I didn't see you this morning."

Was she choosing to forget about what had happened?

"Uh... I woke up late." I stuttered, looking at my now ruined jello. "Sorry."

"You should really be more responsible, Y/n." As she picked her hand up to move a piece of my hair, I couldn't help the tiny flinch. Luckily she didn't notice. "You wanna come over later to watch some Netflix?" She gave me a look similar to the one she wore last night when she first stood in my backyard, letting me know what she was implying.

"I'm sorry, Angel, but I got--"

"Let me guess. Homework? A recording session? Friends coming over?" She took her arms away from my shoulders, giving me a harsh glare. "You never have time for me."

"Angel, not here," I whispered, looking at the eyes of my friends watching us talk.

"Don't give me that BS, L/n! You don't care about me anymore!" She stood up to her full height, putting her hands on her hips. "Don't talk to me unless you wanna apologize." And she stomped away again, leaving me behind with an empty cup of jello and a hand covered in it.

"I'll be right back," I muttered, scared that I was going to start crying in front of the whole cafeteria. I speed-walked to the nearest bathroom and locked myself in a stall. I let the tears slip down my cheeks and silently cried my heart out. My jello covered hand stained my shirt, but at the time, I didn't really care.

"Y/n? Are you in here?" I went silent, hoping that Brock would go away. "Y/n, I can see you sitting in there."

"Go away." My voice broke midsentence as Brock's footsteps came closer to my stall.

"Y/n, we just wanna help you." Jonathan came over as well. "Please come out."

"I-- I can't!" I yelled, feeling broken. "I'm trying so hard to make her happy and she just can't accept it! I've been letting her do as she pleases and it feels like she doesn't even listen to me. I don't want to cuddle with her and then she stops talking to me! I don't give her a gift during Valentine's Day at school and she yells at me! I say I don't want to have sex with her and she proceeds to trash my backyard! I'm so tired of not being enough!" I was gasping for air near the end, recognizing that I was starting to have another anxiety attack. I quickly unlocked the door and smashed into the nearest person's chest, sobbing heavily. They wrapped their arms around me, swaying back and forth as I let out month's worth of tears.

"We're here, Y/n. We've got you." Brian whispered. I felt another pair of arms wrap around us and soon, everyone joined in on the hug.

And for the first time in months, I felt safe and secure.

Once my crying had dialed down, we all separated. I wiped my face with my sleeve, trying to remove any remnants of tears.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop saying you're sorry for crying. There's no reason for you to say sorry when you're this mentally torn about something." Craig gave me a stern glare, holding me by the shoulders. "Why do you say sorry every time you cry?"

"I... I've been told that crying is considered being babyish." Evan huffed, rolling his eyes at me.

"So what? Showing emotions isn't being a baby. It's being genuine. If you hide your emotions, then you're just equivalent to a robot. You should be happy that you can express yourself so well. As cool as it would be to be a robot, I think it would get pretty boring." I smiled a little, sniffing.

"You think?"

"He's right, Y/n. Craig's expressive, but he lifts like a damn champion. And Tyler screams like a preteen, but he's just as strong as anyone else."

"Hey!" We all laughed at that.

"The point is is that you shouldn't feel bad for being emotional. It's a part of who you are." I nodded, feeling confident in myself. "Now, if I were to guess correctly, I'm assuming Angel told you that." My smile quickly changed to a frown.

"How'd you know?" I asked Marcel, to which Jonathan snorted at me.

"Your girlfriend's a douchebag, Y/n. I'm sorry, but it's the Gospel Truth." I just sighed, leaning against the wall.

"I know. But I love her." Brock grabbed my face gently, making me look in his eyes.

"Think of every moment you had with her that was happy." I looked up, trying to recall every moment.

When I asked her out. Our first date. The day we went on a road trip. Her aunt's wedding. My birthday.

"Now think of every moment that you weren't happy with her."

Our first fight. Meeting my parents. Valentine's Day. LAST NIGHT. NOT EVEN TWO MINUTES AGO--

"I have to go," I muttered, a sense of urgency and determination running through me. I slinked past everyone, rushing out of the bathroom and to the lunch room. They all followed me as I walked over to Angel's lunch table, where she turned to face me.

"Are you here to apologize?" I didn't even get to open my mouth when she spoke. "Well, too bad. I'm still angry--"

"No! I'm tired of doing what you tell me!" I cut her off, balling up my fists. "Last night, you trashed my backyard because I wouldn't fuck you! And you just yelled at me for saying no to hanging out after school. I've been doing everything for you when you wouldn't even do half of it for me!" The cafeteria went silent as I was speaking, watching us argue. And for once, I didn't care who saw me.

"How dare you, Y/n! I fucking love you!" She started tearing up, fake tears to get sympathy from me. "You're going to break up with me?!"

"Uh, yeah? Was that not clear?!" She closed her mouth, shocked by my rage. "If you fucking loved me then you would've respected the fact that I didn't want sex! You would've accepted my gift during Valentine's Day and you would've respected my wishes throughout the year of me saying no! But you didn't. Instead, you manipulated me continuously with no hesitation and it's because you can't seem to get in your tiny brain that not everyone owes you anything!" Tears leaked from my eyes, but this time, I didn't care who saw. "I'm done, Angel. I want everything I ever gave you back."

"You can't do that!" She grabbed my wrist, looking into my eyes. "Y/n, I love you!"

I looked down at my now ex-girlfriend, ripping my hand away from her.

"No, you don't." And with that, I left her behind, once and for all.

As I exited the cafeteria, I watched Lui come up and clap me on the shoulder, smiling at me.

"You did good, Y/n." I smiled. And it felt really great as a whole new feeling blossomed in my chest.

"Yeah. I did, huh?" Freedom. That's what this was. Freedom from months of torture. I wiped away tears, not feeling ashamed for shedding them. "You guys wanna go ditch for some Hardee's?"

"Hell yeah!"

"Alright!"

"Yes!"

"Sure."

"Cool!"

"I'm down."

"I call shotgun!"

"I'm taking my car!" As the others rushed out, Craig stayed behind, turning to look at me.

"Are you okay?" Linking our arms together, I sighed happily.

"I'm feeling great."

#bbs x reader #banana bus squad #banana bus squad x reader #tw: abuse #reader insert #x reader

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igottoomuchwriting · 5 years

Text

For Forever Chapter 2

Series: First Part/Previous Chapter/Next Part

Connor Murphy: i stg if this mom doesnt chill tf out i will find where she lives and fight her

It has been a month since Connor and Evan started talking. At first, it was awkward, but slowly they broke the barrier through text messages and small conversations during English. Slowly they were learning more and more about each other.

Connor loved to read. Any book that they read as a class, Connor loved, even if it was an older one that everyone else thought was boring. One day in English, Connor had overheard a kid talking about how much they hated Pride and Prejudice and Connor started whispering to Evan about how the kid didn’t no good literature, how Lizzy was a feminist icon of the time, Darcy was the best boy and the romance was correctly written and “he was just pissy because he is a fucking white boy that doesn’t understand the hardships that women of those days have had to go through!”

He also loved TLC shows, especially Say Yes To The Dress. That was a shock to Evan, but Connor was talking about different dress one day and Evan was curious on how he knew. Connor was nervous to share, but he knew that he could trust Evan.

That’s what he was texting Evan about now. Hulu had put out new episodes and Connor was watching them while live texting Evan about everything that is going on.

Connor Murphy: SHES CRYING NOW AND THE MOM STILL WONT BUDGE

Connor Murphy: thats it

Connor Murphy: im flying to georiga. Ill see you later evan

Evan Hansen: I know you have that ability so please dont

Connor Murphy: like my parents would let me

Evan Hansen: Find something nice in Georgia that your mom would love to see. I’m sure that will get her going

Connor Murphy: well which is it hansen

Connor Murphy: should i go punch this lady in the face or no

Evan Hansen: Definite no

Evan never really was interested in those shows, but he did watch one episode to see what he loved so much about it. It was a good show, and he really did love Randy and most of the brides that came through the shop. His mom had walked in when he had it on the TV, which sparked a conversation of how they were and who Evan liked.

“You know this is a safe place, honey!” Heidi had cooed.

“I know,” Evan mumbled, looking down at the ground awkwardly.

Since then, he’s been trying to pointedly show that he likes girls, and only girls.

Connor Murphy: oh good the bride won

Evan Hansen: With Randy on her side, how could she not

Connor Murphy: true

Connor Murphy: shit

Connor Murphy: my mom is home

Connor Murphy: i have to go to my bed and pretend to get some sleep

Connor Murphy: night

Evan Hansen: Goodnight

Evan decided that he should probably go to bed too. He had a test tomorrow, and he needed to sleep so he wouldn’t freak out as much when the time came.

He quickly turned off the TV and headed back up to his room.

---

Evan did not get any sleep. Right as he was about to fall asleep, his mom came home. Since he was still delirious, he thought it was a burglar. Suddenly he was awake and on alert, ready to do what he needed to.

Without getting out of bed and drawing attention to himself, of course.

He stumbled off of the bus, shoulders slouched over and tired look in his eyes. His classmates shoved past him in a hurry to get to the cafeteria for breakfast, but Evan just slowly made his way to his locker.

“Acorn!” he heard Jared call. Evan turned around to see Jared walking towards him, same amount of confidence in his walk as he always had. His backpack was slung over his shoulder, so Evan assumed that his first period teacher is either late or has a sub who is late.

“Please don’t call me that,” Evan mumbled.

“Aw, come on! It’s a term of endearment. All fun and games, ya know?” He threw his arm over Evan’s shoulder and they continued the walk to their locker. “It’s a playful jab at a silly mistake you made.”

Evan’s hand shot to his cast, holding onto it gently.

Yeah. A silly mistake.

“I’m gonna come over today after school. My mom’s been wondering why we haven’t been hanging out lately.”

“Oh. Uh, okay.”

“You still got Mario Kart, right?” Evan nodded his head. It was the last gift his dad had gotten him before he left, and even though Evan is not fond of his dad, he still tries to hang on to when life was good.

“Cool! Then we can play that today!” Evan just nodded his head again and opened up his locker. Jared continued to talk about a girl--or the same girl that he met over the summer, he doesn’t know anymore--and Evan turned his head to the side to see Connor at his locker. He was slouched over and seemed to be angrily putting stuff into his backpack.

“Sorry, uh,” Evan spoke, interrupting Jared’s sentence, “I’m gonna go talk to Connor.”

“Really?” Jared turned to look at Connor as threw a book into his locker. He flinched. “I don’t think you wanna talk to that dude right now. He seems like he is in a bad mood.”

“That’s why I wanna, um, talk to him.” He started playing with the bottom of his t-shirt. “I want to see if he’s okay.”

“Your funeral, man,” he said with a shrug. He gave Evan one last violent pat on his shoulder before walking away.

Evan closed his locker and took a deep breath. Connor hasn’t been in a super bad mood since they started talking, so Evan was worried if Connor would even want to talk to him or not.

“Hey Connor,” he mumbled. Connor whipped his head around and shot a glare at Evan.

“What?” he snapped. Evan took a step back and looked down at the ground.

“Well you seem like you’re in a bad mood so I wanted to come over and see if you’re okay but you barely know me so I don’t know why you would even want to talk to me about it. I’m sorry I should’ve have even come over, I’ll leave, I’m sorry,” Evan stuttered out. All his words started blending together and he was stumbling over his words.

Connor sighed and hit his head against the top of the locker.

“No, I didn’t mean to snap at you. You did nothing wrong.” Evan glanced up at him before looking back down.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me,” he mumbled. Connor was silent for a moment. Evan was just about to turn around and leave him alone when he started talking.

“My parents took my fucking phone last night because they didn’t believe that I was texting someone other than a fucking drug dealer. I told them that no goddamn drug dealer would be answering fucking calls at that hour because they were trying to act like normal fucking people but they took my phone anyway!” He slammed his locker closed and Evan jumped. “They don’t believe a fucking thing I say and it pisses me off because I was actually telling the truth this time!”

Evan looked around the hallway and saw people giving Connor both confused and dirty looks. He didn't know what to do. Jared never came to him for emotional things, and since Jared has been his only friend growing up, he never had anyone else come to him for anything. The closest that he has come to comforting someone was when he walked in on his mom having a breakdown, but even then she turned it around and made sure that he was okay.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “That’s--That, um, sucks.”

“Understatement of the fucking century,” Connor grumbled.

The first bell rang, signaling that students have five minutes to get to class. Connor turned towards the doors at the end of the hallway.

“Wait, where are you going?” Evan anxiously called.

“Anywhere but fucking here.” With that, he was gone.

Evan watched Connor’s dark figure disappear around the corner outside, wondering if he should tell someone. What was Connor going to do? Would he hurt someone?

Would he hurt himself?

“Get to class, Mr. Hansen!” Evan heard a teacher call. Evan looked behind him to see Ms. Asher--the English teacher that no one liked--raising an eyebrow at him. Saying nothing, Evan moved on to his first class.

---

Evan hasn’t seen Connor all day. It was lunch time now and the boy still wasn’t here. Since they started talking more, he and Connor started sitting together at lunch. Connor never ate anything, and Evan did try, but sometimes his anxiety became too much and he just couldn’t stomach what the school was giving him. During those days, Connor tried his best to calm Evan down enough to where he would get Evan to each at least some bland tater tots.

That wasn’t the case today. He sat alone in the corner of the cafeteria, untouched food in front of him.

It’s not like he wasn’t used to this. Jared would never sit by him, always opting to work on programming by himself and not be seen with Evan, and since he had no other friends, he was pushed to the corner of the room.

Evan was deep in thought when he heard a voice.

“Evan Hansen?” Evan snapped his head up, only to freeze when he saw Zoe Murphy standing there, kind smile on her face.

“Oh, uh, yeah. That’s me,” he stuttered out. How long has she been standing there? Was she just waiting for Evan to notice her?

“Sorry to bother you, but can I ask you a question?” Oh okay, straight to the point. Evan wiped his palms on his jeans.

“Yeah! Yeah, of course.”

“Are you and my brother friends?” That’s not what he was expecting.

Are they friends? He doesn’t know if Connor considers Evan a friend, but does Evan?

“Uh, yeah,” he drew out. “Yeah, I guess.”

Zoe raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. She looked around the lunch room before sitting down across from Evan.

Oh God.

“Do you guys text?”

“Yeah, why?” Did something happen? Why would she need to know if they texted?

“Were you guys texting last night?”

“Yes?” Evan was about to have an anxiety attack. Did Connor tell her? Did Connor spill everything that Evan told him? Is Zoe making sure that this is the Evan Hansen that he is talking to so that she can go around and tell everyone?

“Okay,” she mumbled. She sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “I’m sorry for asking these questions, but Connor got his phone taken away yesterday and my parents wanted to see if who he was texting went to our school.”

“Oh.” Great, so Connor’s parents read their text messages? There was private stuff in there. He hasn’t even met these people and they already know his fears? Did Connor delete the texts he sent when he was having a mental breakdown?

“I haven’t seen the messages!” she quickly added. “My parents only asked if I knew the name ‘Evan Hansen’ and so I wanted to make sure it was you.”

“Okay,” he mumbled. They sat in a silence for a moment, neither knowing what to say.

Zoe broke the silence.

“When did you two start talking?” The questions continue.

“About a month ago?”

“Why?” Well that’s not going to be shared. How would Evan even say that? Yeah, you’re brother stole something of mine and flipped out on me but I was able to calm him down and get it back and now we are basically becoming best buds!

No.

“He, uh, wanted to apologize for getting mad at me in the hallway on the first day of school.” That was kind of the truth.

“And you guys kept talking because…?”

“He was nice.” Zoe immediately rolled her eyes. Oh no. Did he say something wrong?

“He’s not nice, Evan.”

“Wh-What?”

“He’s a druggie who will turn on you when you make one little mistake.” Evan stared at Zoe in disbelief. Here is Connor’s sister, who is known for being happy and helping others, staring at Evan with an angry look in her eye. She’s spending her time, giving Evan a warning.

“He--I don’t think--would he really?”

“He’s done it to me countless times.” Before Evan could say anything else, she stood up. “I’m not telling you what you should do. I’m just warning you that my brother is a loose canon.” With that, she left.

Evan stared at the spot she had just occupied. Zoe has obviously been with Connor her whole life and she knows more than Evan. If she is giving him a warning, he should listen.

Shouldn’t he?

---

When it was sixth period, Evan didn’t know what to do. Surprisingly, he didn’t have any homework to do for that day. He didn’t want to write a letter to his therapist either, as the only thing that happened today was talking to Zoe.

He decided to walk home. It was the last period of the day, and no one was going to be waiting for him. He also wanted to make sure his house was clean before Jared came over.

Evan didn’t get far off of campus before a truck pulled up next to him. With his headphones in, he didn’t hear the driver call out to him. He did hear the car horn, however.

He whipped his head to see Connor sitting in the truck, looking at him threw the passenger window. He quickly pulled out his headphones.

“Connor?” he asked.

“Get in, Hansen.” Evan didn’t question, he just walked across the grass dividing the street and the sidewalk and into Connor’s car.

Connor pulled out into the road before Evan could buckle his seatbelt fully.

It was silent between the two. Evan wanted to know where Connor went in the beginning of the day, if he was doing better, if he was okay in general.

“I didn’t mean to flip out on you earlier,” Connor stated.

“I know,” Evan mumbled. It was silent again. You would think after talking for a month, they would be a little better at talking to each other.

Evan watched all the trees go by. The radio was playing in the background, and the sky was blue with only a few clouds. Always a little strange for October weather.

“Have you ever been to the orchard?” Connor asked. Evan shot him a confused look.

“What orchard?”

“So I’ll take that as a no.”

“Where is it?” Evan asked.

“Well, it’s closed now, but it was almost like a forest reserve for people to go to. You could have picnics, there was a creek, all that fun stuff.” Evan hummed.

The rest of the car ride was filled with small talk. At some point, they had gotten onto the topic of bands they liked, and it blew up from there.

“You’ve never heard of Hollywood Undead?” Connor laughed. “How the fuck have you not?”

“They’re not a very popular band, obviously,” Evan shot back. Connor turned to him with a look as if he had personally attacked Connor’s work himself.

“They are popular!”

“Sure, Connor.”

“You shut the fuck up, Mr. ‘Taylor Swift is a better country singer than pop’.”

“Well, she is--”

“You have no taste.”

It wasn’t long before they reached where Connor was taking them. Evan looked around as Connor turned off the car and saw trees everywhere, as well as a gate with a sign that said “NO TRESPASSING”.

“Uh, what are we, uh, doing here?” Evan asked.

“We’re gonna walk around.”

“W-Wait, what?”

“Come on, Hansen,” Connor called, ignoring the panic rising in the boy. He hopped out of the car and Evan quickly followed, leaving his backpack in the car.

“We can’t go in!” he called out. Connor rolled his eyes.

“Trust me, it’s fine.”

“What if someone finds us? What if they see your car and come searching and then we get in trouble? What if we get arrested? I can’t have my mom bail me out of jail, and your parents won’t--”

“Evan!” Connor yelled. Evan immediately stopped talking. “It’s fine. I come here all the time. I was just here earlier, and no one found me. No one even thinks about this place anymore.”

Evan nodded his head in understanding and looked down at the ground. He heard Connor take a deep breath.

“Just… Come on. You can trust me.”

Evan followed Connor to the fence. Right under the trespassing sign was a cut part of the fence that looked like it was able to be pushed back. Connor pushed the fence piece back and held it open, motioning for Evan to make his way through.

Evan made it on the other side, careful with his cast, and Connor followed suit. Evan looked around in amazement. How come this place was abandoned?

“This place got closed down after they opened up the park as a national park,” Connor answered his unasked question. “Apparently people feel like going to a national park would be more fun than an orchard, even though it’s the same fucking thing.”

Connor stared walking into the trees and Evan was quick to follow.

It was gorgeous. It was a surprise that he has never seen this place. His mom and dad would always love to take them out and show him the nature, the flowers, the birds. It was a big part of his life, and a big reason why he loved trees. Participating in the Junior Ranger program was a way for him to try and go back to those times.

Happier times.

“So homecoming’s coming up,” Connor stated. “You going?”

“Well, uh, probably not?” Those kind of things were never Evan’s thing.

“Even if a cute girl asked you out?” Connor laughed as Evan blushed. The only girl Evan would even want to ask him out is Zoe, but after their conversation, he has been questioning his relationship with her.

“If someone asked me out, that’d be a shock in itself.”

Connor laughed. “Fair enough.”

“What about you?” Evan asked. “You going?”

“No. No way.”

“Not even if a girl asks you?”

“There’s no girl that could make me go to any dance.” Evan hummed.

“What if your crush asked you? There is a girl you like, right?” Connor gave him a side look and coughed.

“Yeah. A girl…” He didn’t say anything after, and Evan didn’t want to push it, so they fell back into silence.

“We’re here.” Evan gave him a confused look.

“Wait, where?”

“Look.” Evan looked anxiously at the space past the trees Connor motioned to before walking forward.

Past the trees was a big open grass field, surrounded by trees. The wind was blowing the long grass gently and the sun was peeking out from behind the threes, just getting ready to set for the night.

Evan was in shock. This place was gorgeous.

“I assume you like it?” he heard Connor call.

Evan shook his head. “Connor, this--this is amazing! How did you find it?”

“I was just walking around one day and stumbled upon it.”

Evan stared at the whole place. Connor watched him with a smile.

“You said you like to climb trees, right?” Connor asked. Evan stiffened up.

“Um, yeah,” he stuttered out.

“Come on. There’s a tree with really low branches.” Connor started walking away towards a tree that Evan saw stuck out from the rest. It was slightly out of the circle of trees, and Evan understood why Connor chose that one. The branches are definitely lower than the others, and easier for the boys to reach.

“I--I don’t think I can climb right now,” Evan called towards him. Connor turned and gave him a confused look.

“Why not?” Evan just held up his cast. Connor looked at for a second before realization hit. “Fuck, that’s right. I’m a fucking moron.”

“Sorry,” Evan shrugged.

“Why are you sorry?”

“You wanted to climb the tree, and I can’t.” Connor sighed and shook his head.

“That’s not your fault, man.” Evan nodded his head and decided not to say anything else.

His phones started buzzing in his pocket. He quickly pulled it out to see who is was.

It was Jared.

“Shit,” he mumbled under his breath. Connor was next to him now, looking down at his phone.

“Kleinman? What does that fucker want?” Evan opted to not comment on Connor’s obvious hatred of Jared.

“I forgot I was supposed to hang out with him today.” He hit answer and turned away.

“Evan! Where are you?”

“I’m sorry, I was walking home but Connor wanted to hang out--”

“Connor? Connor Murphy? You’re with him right now?”

“Yes, I’m sorry, I am headed back right now--”

“Did he kidnap you or something, dude? You guys never hang out outside of school. I never even thought the guy was stable enough to do something.”

Evan anxiously shot a look at Connor, but he was picking at his nail polish, so Evan was sure he didn’t hear Jared.

“He can. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I’m heading back now. Just go inside, I’ll be home soon, ignore the mess.”

“Whatever you say dude. Bye.”

With that, Jared hung up. Evan turned back to Connor, fiddling with his phone.

“I’m sorry Connor, can we--”

“Yeah, we can go back.” Connor clipped. Evan flinched. He looked down at the ground anxiously.

“Sorry, this was fun, but--”

“I know,” Connor forced a smile across his face. “You and Jared had plans. Nothing wrong with that.”

Connor started walking away, and Evan couldn’t help but get the feeling that Connor was truly upset.

He quickly followed Connor back to his car and tired to calm down his anxiety.

“Thank you for taking me here,” Evan said when they got back into Connor’s truck.

“Yeah. We can come back.” Evan looked down to hide a smile.

Connor actually wanted to hang out with him again. Hang out, in public, for no reason other than to hang out with Evan.

Is this was real friendship is like?

#dear evan hansen #evan hansen #connor murphy #zoe murphy #jared kleinman #evan hansen x connor murphy #tree bros #writing #sun writing

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sunsetswurve · 5 years

Text

Overcome / Numb (G.D) part 1

"Woah, hey, please stop working yourself up. Breathe. No like really, deep breath in. Hold it. Now let it out slow. Okay. Good. That's really good. Tell me what you're thinking, Sky, please. Don't keep whatever it is you're feeling in. Please?" Grayson was sitting across from me, hands on my shoulders.

Skylar Martins has been going through a lot, mentally and emotionally. She’s lost in her own head. Everything is getting worse for her and she feels like she’s all alone, even when people are asking her if she’s okay. Feeling like a burden and a problem, she’s set on her life being like this from now on because there is no way out for her. That is until an old friend pops back into her life, seeing through her lies and getting her to see there’s more to life than what she’s doing.

A/N: Sooooo I’ve been going thru some rough stuff and this is the first time in a while I’ve written something. It’s been even longer since I posted any writing on the internet. Depression and anxiety are talked about. Suicidal thoughts are mentioned so trigger warning for that. Also, I’m not sure if this is going to be a friend!Grayson or like a relationship. heck I’ve always been bad at continuing stories so who even knows how far this will go. All depression and anxiety writing is from my own experience, I’m not trying to romanticize it or anything and i’m definitely not trying to make it that Grayson “cures” the main character. Let me know what you think, just please go easy on me <3

"Skylar, are you getting out of bed today? Don't you have work?" My mother asked from my doorway.

"Called out." I mumbled under my covers.

"You okay?" she asked, concern filling her voice.

"Yeah, I'm just tired and have a migraine."

"How are you tired? you've been in bed for the past 3 days. AND you've called out one day each week for the last month just to stay in your room. Do you even have sick time anymore?"

"Yes mom. Dont worry, I have enough hours. I just need to rest."

"Okay, we'll see when you lose your job for missing too much work. This isnt working Skylar. What’s going on?"

"Nothing. I'm fine." Lies. Truth was my depression was the worst it's ever been. I haven't had any energy to do anything.

"Have you been taking your pills?"

"Yes." Lies. I don't care to anymore. It's ridiculous that I have to depend on stupid pills to be a normal human. If this is who I'm supposed to be. What’s the point.

"Bullshit." She rolled her eyes and slammed my door. I heard her go down the stairs and the front door slammed shut also. Nice. Very mature, mother. See, I'm so miserable and annoying my mother doesn't even care anymore. Just leaves me here to rot. I sighed and rolled over, looking at my phone. It was 2 in the afternoon. This is what my life has come to at 23 years old. Alone. Stuck in my room.

I used to try. I used to have energy to try and fight this. But recently its gotten harder and harder to get out of bed. I can see everyone's worried looks and heads shaking with disapproval, but its like there's this wall between what I know I should do to help this and myself. I'm stuck in this cloud of self doubt, self hatred. I hate that I'm like this. I see myself getting worse and yet I just can't put myself out there to say anything to anyone or express what I'm feeling.

To be honest, I'm not even sure what I'm feeling. Numb, mostly. I'm just sick of being alone. I've always felt like I'm the third wheel in all situations. Always in a group of three friends, but the other two were closer and there was me. I've always been a shy person but after high school and stuff I went through in my first year of college, it got worse. I get nervous meeting new people, but I'm also nervous talking to people I haven't seen in awhile. I mean yeah, I have my family and even though I was that third person with friends, I still had friends. I'm also so close to my family. My cousin's been one of my best friends since I was born. But she's gotten pretty serious with her girlfriend so I'm pushed to the side once again. Not to mention they're talking about moving to the other side of the country. It's just gonna get worse.

I sound so selfish. But these are the thoughts that run through my head constantly throughout the day. Its all consuming. I'm alone. I'm alone. I'm alone.

With everyone in the house gone, I go downstairs and grab some cookies in the cabinet and sit in front of the tv. I'll be here for the next few hours until my parents and/or brother come home and then I'll head back upstairs. This is how it's been, avoiding everyone and eating junk to try and make myself feel less numb than I have been. I was switching on netflix when my phone buzzed.

"Hey Skylar, haven't talked to you in awhile. how have you been?" It was a text from Grayson. One of those friends I haven't talked to and don't freaking know how to talk to anymore because I'm a mess. I re-read the message a few times and wonder what I should respond with.

oh ya know, just wondering if I'll finally grow the balls to end my life or keep living in the hell I've created for myself. Oh yeah, that'll go down swimmingly.

"Hey, I've been fine, just working. How are you?"

"Oh are you working today? Could use a hair cut haha ;)" people only talk to you when they need something from you, they don't really care about how you're doing, silly.

"I'm actually off today, Gray." I turned back to the television, desperately trying not to dwell on the thought that he only wants to know what I'm doing just so I can do his hair. I understand with being a hairstylist that people want me to do their hair but its like. Even the people I see constantly do this, they see my behavior has changed, I'm not the happy person I was before. They've asked me how I'm doing -- at the most inopportune times, mind you. But if you think there is something really wrong, you shouldn't want to ask me while you're on hold with our supervisor, this conversation WILL end up with me sobbing and I really really don't think you're ready for it, Margaret so of COURSE I'm going to say I'm fine. A few minutes later, my phone lets out another buzz.

"Do you want to hang out?" That's different. No one's asked me that recently. Not that I'm the best person to hang out with right now, with the buzzkill I've become. I don't answer. Let's add "flaky" to the long list of flaws I've developed over the passed couple of months. Sometimes it's just easier to act like nothings happening. I turn over on the couch and fall asleep.

..only to be woken up 20 minutes later to the doorbell ringing

The hell? We live on a secluded dead end, no one ever comes here unless its planned, like ever. I open the door to reveal Grayson Dolan on my doorstep with a small grin on his face.

"Gray, what are you doing here?" I ask opening the door more for him to step inside.

"When you didn't answer my text, I figured you fell asleep because you've always loved your naps" he chuckled, since he could tell from the look of confusion on my face that is exactly what happened.

"ohhh" I'm not sure what else to say, honestly. I told you I haven't been the best with conversations lately.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asks, taking in my disheveled appearance and greasy looking hair. Greasy looking because I haven't showered in days. Ya know, the things that happen with depression the internet and media don't tell you about when they're glorifying it for their aesthetic.

"Uhhh yeah. I haven't washed my hair in a few days. Look Gray I don't think--"

"No Skylar, really, are you okay? I was scrolling through twitter, saw one of your tweets and it's concerning."

"oh uh.. it's nothing, its just shit that comes to mind at night when I can't sleep." I say, hoping he doesn't press anymore. When I feel really low and don't know what to do, I let it out on twitter, no ones ever said anything before about it so I thought it didn't matter or they didn't care or whatever. It's been like this for years, so this really caught me off guard.

"Are you sure?" no.

"Yes." He gave me a look that definitely said he wasn't convinced, but shrugged anyway.

"Okay, so what are we watching?"

"Oh um, I'm catching up on Supernatural."

"Nice!"

"Gray do you even watch Supernatural?"

"No, but if you're watching it, I'll watch it with you. I wanna hang out and you're not busy. I miss you, so let's go! press play already." I gave him a weird look, this is different. Usually Grayson is really busy between doing stuff with Ethan and/or filming.

"What's going on? Where's Ethan? You two are inseparable."

"He's doing some stuff today. Tattoo and other errands. He'll be gone until tonight."

ahh, so he's just here because Ethan is busy and has nothing better to do

"What was that?"

"What do you mean?"

"You just got this disappointed and annoyed look on your face. What are you thinking, Sky?"

"It's nothing."

"Listen, I know we haven't talked in months but this is not the Skylar I've known for years and I know you're not okay no matter what you're saying behind that fake smile. I'm not going to push it. You don't have tell me right now. But I'm here for you, even if we just sit and watch TV, okay?" My jaw dropped a little, I was not expecting this. Especially since we haven't talked in a while. But Gray has always been able to sense when I'm feeling off. So I'm not too surprised. But to still want to hang around me even if I don't want to talk, like damn, that's so sick of him.

"Thanks G." I say, smiling slightly and lean into his shoulder, a small gesture to show my appreciation. We focused in on the tv and got lost in it for the next few hours.

I didn't notice how many episodes we got through until the front door opened and my mother stepped in.

"Wow. You're out of your room AND someone is here? I'm shocked." She said sarcastically and turned to Grayson. "Hi honey, are you staying for dinner?"

"Hi Mrs. Martins. I'd love to."

"Good! I'm glad someone's been able to get her out of bed." my mother comments as I roll my eyes and continue to focus on the television. I could feel Grayson gaze on me though, I kept facing forward, hoping he would let it go and thankfully, he did. I couldn't focus back into the show though. He knows somethings wrong. But like he really knows. And I'm gonna have to tell him something soon or he'll just be wasting his time and get sick of me just like everyone else. I started biting my nails as I watched forward feeling anxious and sick of myself.

"hey do you still have your PS4?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Do you wanna go play some before dinner?"

"I don't really have any two player games."

"That never stopped us before. We can take turns doing stupid stuff on GTA?"

"Wow I haven't played that in the longest time."

"Lets go!" He said, standing up and waiting for me to follow him upstairs to where we have the playstation set up. I slowly stood up and went along with him. "Remember when we used to play online all of the time?" He asked as I set it up.

"Yeah, remember how angry Ethan would get when asshole twelve year olds would kill us before we could even do anything in the game and I had to figure out how to start a server for just us?"

"Oh man, back when we were living in apartments our neighbors would get PISSED at how loud he would yell."

"And I'd be up here swearing, thinking no one could hear me but one day my mother came up here PISSED because I dropped the f bomb like a million times in a minute."

"She lectured all three of us the next time me and E came over." We both laughed at the memory.

After some time, my mother called up, letting us know dinner was ready. My brother and father were both home now and we all sat down for our meal.

“Grayson! It's been so long since you've been over! How are you and your brother doing?" My father asked

"We're good, Mr Martins. We're working on some new video ideas and Ethan is getting stuff for it today."

"That's great to hear. Its nice to see Skylar out of her room and have company over for once. She's just been in her room for months."

"Dad. seriously?" I ask, do we have to talk about how I'm fucked up at dinner?

"Well she doesn't help herself if she's not taking her medications." My mom comments not looking up from her plate.

"Mom!"

"Skylar why aren't you taking your meds?" My dad turns to me, everyone turns to me actually. I feel my face start to heat up with all of the unwanted attention. My anxiety rising for being put on the spot like this when Grayson was here, or anyone actually.

"And we wonder why I'm finding excuses to not sit out here with you guys all of the time?" I say, rolling my eyes before standing up and hurrying up the stairs to my room.

----

I go into my room and throw myself on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Now he's definitely gonna know I'm not okay. He's definitely gonna walk talk to me about that and probably try to help. He'll stick around for a week or two, see how annoyingly sad and stubborn I am and give up. Just like everyone else has when I've been like this in the past. As if he could hear my thoughts, I hear a knock and Grayson quietly say my name, trying to not disturb the silence.

I look up but don't make a move.

"Sorry you had to awkwardly witness all of that." I mumble. He comes in, gently shutting the door behind him. He lays next to me, also looking up at the ceiling.

"You know they're just worried about you, right?"

"I know," I sigh.

"You also know I'm worried about you, right?"

"Don't be."

"How can I not? Your tweets are literally screaming that you're not okay. You aren't taking care of yourself and distancing yourself from everyone trying to help you." My eyes start filling up with tears and my breathing start to get heavy. My skin is on fire, feeling like hot pins and needles are stabbing me all over. "Skylar?"

I can't say anything. It's like the floodgates have been opened. I dont feel numb anymore but I feel everything. Hurt, sad, angry and frustrated. All I do is curl into a ball, sobbing and gasping for air. I feel Grayson try and pick me up to bring me closer to him but I push him away. It feels like I'm being smothered with nothing touching me at all. I know he means well but when I'm like this, touching doesn't help. I feel him start to pull away, probably to get my mother since somethings wrong and he doesn't know what he should do. but I grab his hand and shake my head.

"Panic attack. Stay. Give me a few minutes." I manage to get out between strangled sobs. He nods, staring at me with worry. I'm not surprised he's freaked out. Usually when I have panic attacks like this I'm not around anyone, so he definitely hasn't seen me like this before. My mother has only heard me have them because I used to call her when I was in college. That was when they started to get really bad. He doesn't let go of my hand though, it would be hard to with me squeezing it, trying to ground myself while focusing on my breathing.

It feels like an eternity, but it was probably just a few minutes later when my breathing slowed and the pins and needles sensation had left. I let go of Grayson's hand and wipe my face, groaning once it really hit me that I just had a panic attack in front of someone for the first time in so long.

"I'm so sorry about that Gray"

"Did you just have a panic attack?"

"Yeah, again, so sorry"

"Don't be! You know I have panic attacks too. I've just never seen you have one and you've always been okay with hugging and stuff so that just threw me, I didn't know how to help you."

"I usually have them at night or I'm not near anyone when they do happen. Uh, I uh feel like I can't breathe and my skin feels like it's on fire and I'm getting stabbed with hundred of needles all over my body so I freak out even more when people try to touch me when they happen.

"Jesus, Skylar. Why don't you tell anyone you're going through this?"

"I don't know" I shrug, "I don't like to bother people."

"Are you serious? You wouldn't be bothering anyone, you just need to tell people how you're feeling when they ask, because I know they've been asking. They're really worried. I'm really worried."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I just need you to take care of yourself."

"That's really hard right now, G."

"Then let me help, let someone help, stop locking yourself away and thinking you need to go through this by yourself." Tears are now streaming down my face and I'm quietly sobbing. He brings me in for a hug and kisses my forehead. We stay like that for awhile. "We're gonna get through this. I promise."

For some reason, that just makes me cry even harder. Why can't I take care of myself? I used to be strong and independent. Now I'm weak. I need people to take care of me at 23? What is this? What the fuck is wrong with me?

"I, uh, okay." I take a deep breath again. "I'm just so fucking weak. And helpless. You shouldn't have to be making these promises and be worried about me." I paused for a moment to gather my thoughts and take a few more breaths. "Like this is sad. Ridiculous. How did I get myself in this situation. I don't get it. I don't know or understand myself anymore and I don't know how I got like this." My panic was turning into anger now. Anger at myself. The world. God or the universe or whatever seems to be in control of all of this.

"Stop beating up on yourself for like two seconds to see that people care about you and love you. Sometimes life gets hard and we need help. If I was in this position I would want someone to help me. I can't stand seeing you like this. I WANT to help. Life got busy and I was a shitty friend that grew distant. But I'm here. Your family is here. I know for a fact that if Ethan was here he'd be agreeing with me. We've known each other for years. I know you ARE strong. You just need a little help right now. The only question is if you're going to accept the help or stay stuck." He got a little louder, was it because it's Grayson and he's just loud or wanting to make his point come across clearly? both, probably. I took a few deep breaths, really calming for the first time in hours.

"Okay."

#Grayson Dolan #Dolan Twins #Dolan Twins fanfic #grayson dolan fanfic #Ethan Dolan #Ethan and Grayson #Overcome / numb #dolan twin fandom #grayson bailey dolan #dolan twins imagine #grayson #ethan #fanfiction #TW: depression #TW: anxiety #tw: suicide mentioned

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hybridequalist · 5 years

Note

If you dont want to do this or if its not clear im sorry, but could you please do an eddy brock x sister reader where she broke into the lab and got her own symbiote (thats female? Granted idk how gender works for symbiotes just know most people refer to venom as male) and while eddy is freaking out shes totally calm + like "haha lol so this is happening now thats fun" and calls hers darling, sweetheart, love, etc. And is a major pacifist so they made a deal of no killing at day one, just fluff?

So I know this isn’t really what you asked for…but my brain just ran away with this. It’s looking to be 3 parts as it stands right now, so let me know if you’re interested in the rest or if you want me to try again.

My first request…*SQUEE*

“When you asked me to help you with a ‘work thing’, I didn’t think we’d be breaking and entering.”

“It’s just to gather evidence. We’ll be in and out.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Edward Charles Allan Brock, that is a load of bull and you know it.”

“It is not!” Eddie hissed at you, glancing worriedly at Doctor Skirth in the driver’s seat. “I just wanna expose Drake and that’s all.”

“Like how you ‘just wanted’ to do a piece on Wilson Fisk’s paper trail back in New York?”

“That was different!’

“As if!”

“We’ll be pulling up in a few minutes,” Doctor Skirth interrupted, glancing back at you and Eddie with undisguised anxiety. “Try ducking out of sight when we pass through the checkpoint, okay?”

You shot Eddie a look before jerking your head towards the trunk and unbuckling your seatbelt to roll under the backseat, willing yourself to become invisible.

This was not your first rodeo handling your brother and his many misadventures: you had grown up playing attorney for him whenever he got in trouble and honestly should have been paid for the number of close scrapes you’d gotten him out of. He’d promised when he moved in with you after the New York thing that he’d behave and for a while you’d believed him–especially after Anne hit the scene. But you should have known better: Eddie’s overwhelming sense of justice was his fatal flaw and was always bound to get him in trouble–and hurt those he loved in the process.

By some miracle, you all made it past the security checkpoint and into the main building without being spotted. You even got some nice backstory about alien creatures and a comet as the doctor lead you both from the parking lot and through the main building. But as the doctor was badging you and Eddie into the lab, someone called her name and you felt a spike of panic in your gut.

“Don’t touch anything!” were Doctor Skirth’s last words to the pair of you as you hurried into the laboratory.You hated that the second she said it, you immediately knew that your brother would be touching all the wrong things.

The lab was lit eerily blue, making it hard to see much aside from shadows of various unrecognizable scientific instruments. Eddie immediately took out his phone and began snapping pictures, leaving you to watch his back. You hardly breathed as you both walked past a wall of glass cages, some containing human figures. One of them caught your eye and you paused, looking at what seemed to be a mass of white, slimy tentacles. Somehow, you couldn’t take your eyes off it. It looked dead, but something about it–perhaps its alien shape or apparent lack of a real body–made you unable to cease staring. You felt at any moment it might twitch or give some sign of life…

A sudden thud jolted you from your trance and you whirled around to see that Eddie was as the far end of the hall, looking in horror as something clawed at the glass. He immediately reached towards the access panel on the door and you felt your heart drop into your shoes.

The alarms were immediate and the shift from the dark blue lights to vibrant reds left you covering your eyes instinctively. You faintly heard glass break and squinted just in time to see your brother tackled to the ground by a screeching figure with long, tangled hair.

“Eddie!” you screamed, sprinting towards him.

“Maria! Maria, stop!” you heard him crying out. You were only a few paces away when something large and black shot out from the attacker’s back, whipping around and launching you away. You felt your back slam against something initially solid that shattered out from behind you, the air driven from your body as you hit the floor. Something writhed underneath you and you lurched just enough to roll onto your side, finding yourself staring at the white-tentacled thing again. Except this time it was definitely moving.

You couldn’t scream–you were still trying to restart your lungs after crashing through the glass door. All you could do was watch as the slimy thing lashed out its tentacles, coiling around your wrist. The panic gave you enough adrenaline to push up onto your hands and knees, crawling away without a care as to how much glass laid around you. Most of the tendrils slipped off you as you flailed, but a few broke off the creature and coiled tighter, clinging desperately.

You heard footsteps through the screaming alarm and froze, whipping around to see shadowy figures rush into the lab.

HIDE!

You instinctively curled into a ball, hands clasping together behind your head. There was some shouting and then just as quickly as you’d heard them come in, you heard them leave, shouting something about “the asset” getting away.

GO QUIETLY!

You jumped to your feet and ran back out the way you’d come in, moving at top speed. Through the parking lot and straight out to the road, you didn’t let up on your wild sprint until you dropped to your knees, out of breath on the sidewalk.

WE NEED TO KEEP RUNNING!

In a minute. When I’m not going to vomit.

Remembering all your PE lessons from High School, you put your hands behind your head and shakily got to your feet, trying to focus on inhaling through your nose. When your heartbeat settled and the taste of bile retreated you heaved a heavy sigh. And then panic seized you.

“Eddie,” you breathed. “Oh no. Oh please…don’t be dead…”

EDDIE WILL BE FINE. HE HAS HELP.

You whirled around, looking for whoever had spoken, but aside from distant headlights there were no signs of anyone.

PLEASE DON’T PANIC. YOUR HEART RATE JUST SPIKED DANGEROUSLY HIGH.

Same voice. Slight echo. Feminine. And it definitely wasn’t coming from somewhere around you.

“…who are you?” you whispered. “Are you inside my head?”

IN A SENSE. AS FOR MY IDENTITY…I AM UNSURE. I’M…NEW.

“Then what are you?”

ALIEN. BROUGHT HERE BY THE HUMANS. I…I WAS NEAR DEATH. HOST-LESS. STARVING. THEN YOU CAME. OLD SELF TRIED TO GRAB HOLD. I AM THE PIECE THAT MANAGED TO STAY, MANAGED TO BOND. BECAME…ME.

You frowned. There was an alien inside you. Or some part of one. So far, though, you weren’t getting any bad vibes off this…being. All it had done so far was get you out of the Life Foundation’s labs and nothing in its voice and mannerisms. Wait, was it an “it”?

I PREFER THE FEMALE PRONOUNS, IF YOU DON’T MIND.

Okay. She.

She could hear your thoughts?!

WE’RE BONDED AT A CELLULAR LEVEL–OF COURSE I CAN HEAR WHAT YOU THINK. WE EXIST SYMBIOTICALLY, SO WE NEED TO BE ABLE TO COMMUNICATE AT ANY TIME.

Huh. Convenient.

MOST OF THE TIME.

Wait, so if you’re “new”, then how do you know all this?

ANCESTRAL MEMORY. INSTINCT. IT WOULD BE HIGHLY INCONVENIENT FOR MY KIND TO NEED TO TEACH ALL OFFSPRING HOW TO BOND, ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING HOW ALL SPAWN ARE JUST PIECES OF THEIR PARENT THAT BECAME INDEPENDENT. NURTURING ISN’T IN OUR NATURE.

That’s really sad, actually.

ONLY TO THOSE WHO HAD SUCH AN UPBRINGING. I AM RELIEVED THAT MY KIND DO NOT EXPERIENCE THE PERIOD OF HELPLESSNESS THAT YOURS MUST ENDURE–THIS “CHILDHOOD”–BUT I CAN UNDERSTAND YOUR SYMPATHY. YOU DID NOT HAVE MUCH OF ONE EITHER, AS FAR AS I CAN SEE.

Not after my mother died. My father no longer really cared…Eddie got the worst of it, though. I think our father blames him for mom dying…

That last thought jolted you out of the mental conversation. Eddie. Where was he? Did he make it out? Frantically, you scrambled for your phone and pressed the speed-dial for your brother. Every ring made your tension mount higher until finally you heard him pick up.

“Yeah?”

“Eddie! Where are you?! Are you okay?!”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just feelin’ a little funny is all.”

He was slurring a little. Had he hit his head?

“I got home a bit ago. Called Doctor Skirth, but she didn’t answer. Been kinda woozy too. Maybe I’m gettin’ sick, I dunno.”

HIS SYMBIOTE HAS NOT REVEALED ITSELF YET, your alien commented. IT MUST BE SEEKING NOURISHMENT, TRYING TO HEAL FROM THE HARM THE LIFE FOUNDATION INFLICTED.

“But where…where are you at?” Eddie asked, still sounding almost drunk. “You’re not home, but you gotta be safe if you’re calling.”

You were about to answer when you heard the phone clatter onto some surface.

“Eddie?” you ask. No response. You tried again, but still no response. You could hear some rustling and what you recognized as the freezer being opened.

AS I THOUGHT. LOOKING FOR FOOD SO IT CAN HEAL ITSELF. HANG UP–YOUR BROTHER WILL BE UNAVAILABLE FOR QUITE SOME TIME.

Reluctantly, you followed the symbiote’s advice. Glancing out at the horizon, you noticed that the sky was getting lighter. Morning was probably only an hour away and you were beginning to feel the exhaustion of staying up as well as running all the way here.

It was time to go home.

You thanked your Uber driver as you stepped out from her car, suppressing a yawn as you climbed the steps to your apartment complex. Your symbiote had been fairly quiet throughout the drive, occasionally asking a question about the people and shops outside the window and you had tiredly tried to satisfy her curiosity. Now as you came to your door, you braced yourself for some kind of destruction on the other side. Your symbiote’s genetic memories had been full of violent scenes of her kind on the hunt and you didn’t know what to expect.

It turned out to be not nearly as bad as you’d feared: the fridge and freezer both stood open and a bag’s worth of half-defrosted tater tots were scattered near the kitchen island. There was no sign of your brother until you peered into the bathroom.

You weren’t sure what to make of his situation: he was passed out in the bathtub, toothpaste foam smeared on his bottom lip and the fallen shower curtain draped over his shoulders.

I’D SAY THIS IS A FAIRLY OKAY WAY FOR THINGS TO HAVE TURNED OUT, your symbiote commented with a mental chuckle. NO PILE OF BODIES OR PILE OF HEADS.

You rolled your eyes good-naturedly, trying not to imagine the gruesome scene as you stepped forward, reaching out your hand to shake your fool of a little brother awake.

It happened so fast you almost missed it: a black tentacle shot out from Eddie’s body, aimed straight for your head. Just as swiftly, you felt control of your body wrenched away from you, jerking your arm forward to catch the goopy tendril before it could connect.

“MINE.”

Well, it was definitely a symbiote’s voice, but this one was masculine-sounding and carried a far more predatory snarl. Yours sounded more…well, not necessarily human, but certainly more articulate.

YOURS, your symbiote agreed. NEST-MATE OF MINE. NO THREAT.

Her words seemed to calm the black alien down because the tentacle retreated and Eddie slumped further down in the tub, letting out a sleepy grunt.

WE MUST LEAVE THEM FOR NOW, your symbiote warned. YOUR BROTHER’S SYMBIOTE IS RECOVERING, BUT STILL WEAK ENOUGH TO BE IN HIS PRIMAL STATE. WE WON’T BE ABLE TO COMMUNICATE WITH THEM PROPERLY UNTIL HE FEEDS AGAIN. YOU ALSO NEED TO REST–I CAN PROVIDE YOU WITH STRENGTH BUT NOT ENERGY AND YOU ARE DANGEROUSLY LOW ON THAT FOR SUPPORTING US BOTH.

You couldn’t disagree. While the shock of the black symbiote lashing out had jolted you into alertness for a short time, you were already feeling the exhaustion returning.

Promise you’ll wake me if you hear Eddie get up, you thought, meandering towards the bedroom.

IF YOU’RE RESTED ENOUGH…I PROMISE.

#ask #request #venom movie #venom symbiote #unnamed symbiote #reader #reader is eddie's big sister #fanfic #fanfic post #fic request

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internetremix · 5 years

Note

Hey! What’s everyone’s favorite way to relax? My new job has me absolutely exhausted, and I need some good ways to chill. (If y’all got any tips about hella sore feet, plox help.)

Juno: Lie in bed and sleep

Kristen: Stretching can help a lot with sore feet- even if it's a very small range of motion, there's a lot of muscles that need it. Self massage can also help a lot and hot baths are greeeeeaaat. If you can afford it I know there are like, special shoe inserts? But I'm not an expert on them.

To unwind I usually do stuff like really hot baths... like absurdly hot... like "oh actually shit this felt good ten minutes ago but I'm boiling now whoops".Snacks and a show you like are also a nice way to chill and I also have a few select friends that I could hang with forever. Options!

Atwas: Pet my dog. Play or re-play a relaxing game. Hot bath + candles. Tea. Read a book. Burrito under blankets. Walk said dog.

If you have tennis balls, you can roll out your feet with them. It will hurt a bit at first, but it will help.

Also yessss Kristen. Lobster level baths are the actual best

Kristen: Listen if you actively like, boil the stress out your body will be too wilted to even remember what stress felt like

Uprising: Hot baths with bath bombs, watercolor painting, listening to music, excersize helps me relax sometimes too. Video games like abzu are great for if I wanna wind down. Foot massages and stretches will help sore feet.

Kristen: Oh yeah exercise can really help with relaxing tbh. You wouldn't think so but them endorphins can help a lot and exercise doesn't have to be GO HARD GET FIT you can honestly just go for walks or do yoga and it would help. Though I do personally love the GO HARD GET FIT thing cause once I got past the "ouch my muscle hurting juice" it makes me feel a lot more chill afterwards in a way that a more chill exercises don't. That doesn't mean YOU have to do it though, do whatever works for you and just tune in to what your body and brain need.

Moon: I dont actually know how to just relax. I guess I just do less stressful things and my mind cools down?

Alex: what is this thing you call relaxing

Tex: I sleep

Juno: Hi five Tex

Tex: Hell yeaaaaaasnsnnnzzzzz

Jojo: I don't really like sleeping, so I try to draw, but then I force myself to draw things I have to focus on and then I get frustrated because I can't get it right so I play piano, and I play very aggressive songs, then softer songs, and I just play and play until my freaking forearms burn and that relaxes me ^w^.

I also build some arm muscle while getting aggression that I don't want out!

Phill: Ignore your problems and pretend everything is okay until you pass out.

Kristen: Disclaimer: Do not listen to Phill

Phill: Disclaimer, I am not a happy man. Do not take advice from me

Jojo: D:

Scott: Listening to music helps me relax. Your best options are with headphones if possible. Otherwise, just play some music while you're in the shower or bath.

Shyner: I cannot relax because anxiety fuels my will to live

Split: I tend to listen to chill music and bop out of reality for a bit if i need to chill out. Can get real lost in it sometimes.

#ask the ir crew #whole crew #advice #neonfailures

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bookmawkish · 5 years

Note

"Remember Me" our OTP =P

Leave a “Remember Me” in my ask, and I’ll write a drabble about one character trying to get another to remember them [be it from an accident, meeting them after years apart, feel free to specify]

————————————-

“First of all,” Tony says, as they walk very briskly down the corridor (they’re not running, no, because running would suggest life-or-death urgency, and this wasn’t that, not at all) “don’t freak out. Okay? He’s fine. He’s absolutely fine. He’s awake, he’s hungry, he’s watching TV. He’s fine.”

“Apart from the small issue that he doesn’t have the first idea who any of us are.”

“Aside from that. Hey, I’m sure there’s hundreds of people in the world who don’t know who I am, and they’re all doing great. There’s that one tribe on an island that - ”

Loki’s expression could have cracked mesozoic granite. Tony’s face fell.

“You’re freaking out, aren’t you. I specifically said not to do that. And look, we’re here, you don’t wanna scare him by being all wrath-of-god, right? Chill. Okay? Chill. Happy faces. Here we go.”

He pushes open the door. Heckyl is sitting in the expansive comfort of the medbay’s surgical couch, covered in blankets and with the bedhead propped up at a comfortable angle to allow him to watch the big screen on the opposite wall. As Tony had confirmed, he’s halfway down a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey and seems as alert and cheerful as a kitten. The only glaring sign that anything is wrong is the strapping that binds his left shoulder and the neatly taped square of surgical gauze that’s covering his left temple. He looks up as they enter, and Loki’s stomach clenches.

His gaze isn’t…empty. Not at all. There’s all the usual intelligence and shrewdness in that look, but now it only seems to highlight what isn’t there: because there’s a way that Heckyl should look when he looks at Loki and he’s not doing it now. He looks only enquiring, interested….and confused.

“He knows who he is,” Tony had reassured, earlier. “He knows his name, favourite colour, shoe size, that kind of thing. He knows he’s on Earth, and that Snide is gone, and that he’s safe with people who aren’t going to hurt him, he’s just…a little fuzzy on the details.”

“Am I a detail?”

“Ok that came out wrong. He’s having trouble remembering people. And some past events.”

Like me, Loki thinks, looking at Heckyl and trying not to let his own anger and anxiety show through in his expression. Like us.

“Hi, Tony,” Heckyl says, and seems gratified when Tony finger-guns him, indicating that he’s got the right name for the right face. “Ugh. Not more tests? It’s only been an hour.”

“No no. Your veins and involuntary motor functions are safe from me. I brought you another visitor though, stave the boredom off.”

Loki steps forward, brushing past Tony and not caring if it’s rude. Tony sighs, and withdraws, the door swinging behind him.

“Hi,” says Heckyl, and he smiles, but he looks guarded and cautious.

“Hello,” says Loki, and sits down on the edge of the bed. “My name is Loki.” Is there a hope within him that the name alone will be enough, that Heckyl will smile at him properly and say he remembers? Of course there is. But of course Heckyl does not. Indeed he flinches slightly, as if he’s uncertain about strangers getting that close. Loki tries not to let it bother him, although he aches to reach out in that familiar fashion he’s become accustomed to, pet Heckyl’s hair, let him know that he’s wanted.

“Loki,” Heckyl repeats, as if trying the word out, and something must have slipped in Loki’s expression because then he frowns. “Oh. I know you, don’t I. And you’re upset that I don’t remember you. The doctor - “ and he blinks once, an effort - “Bruce said this would happen.”

“I’m not upset,” Loki lies. “I just want you to be well. How are you feeling?”

“I’ve got a headache,” Heckyl pouts. “My arm is sore. And I’m not allowed out of bed. I’m bored.”

The whining, demanding edge to his tone is so familiar and normal that Loki almost laughs.

“Well then,” he says. “I shall have to entertain you.”

And he does. He spends the next hour speaking of nothing important. Stories, but not of their past adventures - children’s stories from Asgard, some of which Heckyl says he remembers, but when gently pressed, cannot say when or where he first heard them. And Loki does a couple of small, pointless magics. Creating a swarm of glowing butterflies to fill the clinically sterile room with bobbing green lights (Heckyl is delighted) and then his old favourite, duplicates of himself all about the room doing all kinds of things from fighting moves to juggling (Heckyl is seriously impressed).

It’s during the duplicate invasion that the real Loki, moving unmarked amongst ten ephemeral dopplegangers, sneaks up and brushes the very tip of his forefinger to the centre of Heckyl’s forehead. He does not follow it up with magic. It’s just contact, simple and gentle, driven by a pure need to touch his mate, feel the reassuring living warmth of his skin. To know that even if forgetful (and Heckyl’s memory has never been the best, not since the dark energem) he is here. Loki is here and will not leave him. Because he knows how much the ancient orphan hates to be alone.

Heckyl draws in a sharp hitch of breath, and the sound is enough for Loki to be distracted. The illusions all vanish, and there’s just one Loki sat there on the edge of the bed, hand hanging where he has lifted it away from Heckyl’s brow.

“Oh,” Heckyl says, and he suddenly looks terribly tired. “Oh. Oh, no. Not again.”

Loki, suspecting what’s happened and knowing what he must be thinking, moves in on instinct and pulls him into a hug. He knows he’s right when Heckyl immediately relaxes into it, clings to him, hugs back. The relief is immense on both sides.

“It’s only been a few hours,” he says. “You were knocked out. Nothing more sinister.”

Heckyl is silent, his head buried into Loki’s neck, under the long black hair. He is quiet for a long time: and when he speaks his voice sounds slightly choked.

“You bastard. You never got me that pizza you promised me. And don’t you dare tell me that you did and I forgot. I may forget people, but I never forget food.”

Loki laughs.

“Liar,” he chides, happily.

#drabble #writing prompt #fanfiction prompt #loki fanfiction #heckyl/loki #loki x heckyl #Heckyl #Power Rangers #MCU #Avengers #CrossOver #amnesia

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super-lemon-sama · 5 years

Text

I’ve made a very personal realization recently.

I normally don’t post personal stuff that isn't just like a funny story or something silly, but I really wanted to share this.

It’s pretty long and kind of a jumbled mess so I’ll leave it under read more.

Okay this is gonna sound weird but- I just realized that I’m like really actually gay.

I mean the past two years I’ve been pretty open about liking girls so we been known, you know, but not like known known?

That probably doesn't make sense.

What I mean is I didn't totally understand it.

(if you wanna skip to the chase you can scroll down to the bottom and read under the horizontal line)

You see my family is pretty conservative, and I love them and all but I have to be honest, they aren’t very open minded. On top of that It wasn't until VERY recently that I’ve had any openly gay friends or piers.

So for the past seven years I’ve really struggled with who I am and how I feel. It’s hard to talk about it and accept my feeling because for years and years I really convinced myself that I was just fucked in the head and couldn't love anyone. I thought the only correct option for me was to like guys and that if I didn't like guys there was something wrong with me.

It wasn't even on my radar that a girl could actually like a girl. It was so cemented in my brain that guys were the only option, and never had anyone around me who could show or tell me otherwise. Like it wasn't that my family or community forced those crazy “you cant be gay!” or “gay is a sin, and if you’re gay you’re going to hell!” “values” upon me. It’s that no one ever spoke about the gays or being gay. Gay just didn't exist in my world.

I was so completely... uninformed I guess.

The first time I discovered anything gay was around 8th grade; I was on the internet by then and hung out with the weebs at school so I had heard of Yuri and Yaoi. (I rarely saw yuri though) These two girls in particular who I was the closest to in the weeb group, were in fact lesbians. But like my brain just couldn't recognize it. I didn't realized they were ACTUAL lesbians for the longest time, one because I just thought they were acting like these two anime characters they shipped together and two because I still didn't know what a lesbian was, I just knew that a girl kissing a girl was yuri.

there’s so much that I didn't know or understand. I wish that someone who could have just told me so I wouldn't have had to suffer so much just to learn what I know now.

it was also around 8th grade that I found out Asexuality was a thing and was like:

“Oh yeah that’s super me!”

because back then (and even now) I hated the thought of being physically intimate with a guy. It super freaked me out and made me uncomfortable.

Additionally America is fucked and likes to make people scared of sex instead of actually educating anyone about it; so for most of my life intimacy of any kind has always been labeled as “A bad bad terrible thing you should never do or you’re a shameful and disgusting person”. It was so bad that I thought that it was wrong to even think about holding someones hand. (I’m still struggling with that tbh. partly because of my anxiety and slight germaphobia. But i’m getting better about it and it almost not even a problem around people I’ve known for a long time)

I dont really remember when or what led me to realize I liked girls. I just remember it was around maybe 11th or 12th grade, when I befriended this guy and thought that since I liked him more than other guys that I had met that it meant I “like liked” him, so we started dating. Around this time I still considered myself asexual, but started joking about anime girls and shit like that, because it was the hip meme at the time.

But the more I joked about liking girls the more I realized that it wasn't really a joke. I started thinking about how pretty and nice girls are; and about how I like being around them. How I never really felt any strong or even really positive feelings towards any guys. So I started thinking if I had ever liked anyone more than my boyfriend at the time, and it hit me like a brick.

I dont want to talk about it to much but there’s a certain person I used to talk to that I was really really close to. I always thought about how I wanted to live in a house with her and see her everyday and joked about getting best friend married to her. They were jokes but I did mean them. I really did want to live with her, I wanted to see her everyday, and I remember really wishing there was such a thing as “best friend marriage”.

If I had even one openly gay friend back then I think I would have figured it out so much sooner.

Actually Thinking back on it now all my friends probably thought I was gay, wish one of them would have told me, lmao.

(I also realized that a majority of my ocs were very very gay)

But I was fucked up about it for a long time, because she was my best friend, and I had been saying I was straight or asexual for so long, I was so scared people were going to think I was a crazy liar and hate me. Plus she was straight and had a boyfriend by the time I moved away.

Which I wasn't sad or mad about actually. He's a really cool dude and he made her really happy which always made me really happy. Like he would make her laugh and I would almost want to just thank the dude for making her so happy.

We drifted apart, which is kind of my fault. I missed her so much but I felt like it was wrong for me to miss her, and I was scared that I would confess my feelings to her compulsively and it would make everything awful and weird, and that she wouldn't want to talk to me ever again. To me our friendship going unruined was the most important thing, because I didn't want to make her uncomfortable or unhappy, so and my dumb ass brain decided that If I basically stop being friends with her by ghosting her that I couldn't ruin our friendship.

It’s not like our friendship ever “ended” or anything. If I wanted to talk to her I’m sure I could. But it’s been so long that I just want to leave that door closed. But I’m at peace with that and have actually been able to move on.

There’s some stuff I want to briefly mention just because they’ve all happened pretty recently so I don’t entirely have my thoughts on them settled yet.

How about two years ago in my collage art class I made friends with some lgbt people who Invited me to their club, and started going to meeting with a couple different lgbt students. I learned a lot there. I wish I would have asked more questions back then but it was all so new at the time I dont think I could have reaaaally understood any explanations I got anyway.

I dated someone who was non-binary trans for a while, and I have to be honest I didn't really get it back then; transgender was a new concept for me at the time so I kept getting confused. You see I thought trans only applied to mtf and ftm and that non-binary was a category all it’s own. I mean it is but you know what I mean.

I wanted to understand but felt like asking them questions about it would have been mean so I didn't. hhhhhhhhhhhh im so fukin dumbbbb.

I’m not proud of it but I broke up with them because I felt so bad for not understanding them, I felt like I wasn't giving them the understanding and validation they deserved. I really liked hanging out with them and talking to them, but they really liked me and I just felt like I wasn't a good enough. I was so scared of hurting their feelings that I... hurt their feelings.

Flawless logic, I know.

and here’s the part were I finally realize that I’m a big gay

It’s stupid because It’s literally the most basic and obvious thing you would realize when you’re gay and yet it somehow took me this long to figure it out.

I realized that the thought of kissing a guy is gross, but the thought of kissing a girl is nice.

I would be comfortable and happy being in a relationship with a girl.

I would like to live with and marry a girl one day.

I’m mad that it took me so long to freaking realize this shit, but I’m glad that I have.

I dont think I’m a lesbian technically since I do like non-binary people too (Though with a fem lean. if that’s how you say that???)

But there’s a lot I still dont know, like what I would even call myself, but I would really like to learn; So if any of you have read this far and want to share some of your knowledge please do!

Thank you all so much for your time and support, I love you and hope you have a great day!

#marie talks #personal #lgbt #i still have a LOT ahead of me #like the fact that im not technically out of the closet #and im nervous but i feel good about it #i hope i didnt say anything weird or fucked up #but if i did please let me know!

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tumblunni · 5 years

Text

Does anyone in Wales wanna meet up and say hi?

I dunno if any of my followers live near me! I know most of my besties live in america but do any of you live anywhere in the UK?

I'm totally broke right now so i cant get to england/ireland/scotland, but my disability bus pass lets me travel for free anywhere within Wales. Its been a HUGE help towards my mental health, there were about two years where i never went outside my one local street at all and that sort of isolation just amplifies mental illness.

So umm yeah ive recently become brave enough to visit places i dont know and meet new people. It still makes me anxious as heck but i can actually accomplish it! I feel proud and i wanna continue getting better! seriously all this fresh air has done wonders for me and i need to find more ways to pass the time outdoors even when im broke cos i know if i let myseld self-isolate again til my next benefits payment then im just gonna fall into the same anxiety spiral again.

So umm yeah if any of you guys live in wales or are gonna be in wales this month, would you like to hang out? :D

Or also if anyone just knows any cool places in wales i could go to that are free. Or if anyone could help me make up some ways to amp myself up for going on walks even when i dont have something to do? Like.. If i dont have a "mission" of some sort then i cant distract myself from my anxiety. Its really dumb. I havent yet progressed to the point that im actually able to enjoy socializing or enjoy walking around like.. On its own,for its own merits. But at least now im managing to enjoy doing stuff in busy public places, enpugh so that it can outweigh the panic. Someday that panic will be truly defeated and i can go back to just enjoying walks!! Man i still remember how i really enjoyed Just Walking Around when i was stuck with my dad, i'd be able to just walk the same laps arpund the local shops and park and the scenery itself would inherantly calm me. But then as i continued to grow up under his abusive parenting i started being afraid of other people, feeling like theyd all be thinking the same things he said to me. That sort of isolating tactic where your abuser will be all "you cant survive alone oh im the best thing youll ever have, everyone else will be even worse". To make sure you're too scared to seek help! Its fucked up! And i hate that it actually got worse for the first few years after i left him,cos of the pressures of suddenly having to live alone and be independant when you'd had all independance burned out of you. And then id feel like if i wasnt getting better that meant that he was right, yknow? Anyway thats why im SO HAPPY that i've been making progress!!

So umm lol you can help me continue my Being A Mentally Healthy Person Practise by giving me Missions!

Just..any excuse to go outside. Anything i can do to occupy my mind whenever i start getting The Panics. "Hey bunni i challenge you to go to a place you've never been which begins with the letter M!" "Hey bunni try and find the funniest restaurant names in town!" "Hey bunni ride this random bus number you havent tried before and then ride it back home again!" "Hey bunni keep an eye on the ground and see if you can find three lost pennies before you get home!" "Hey bunni draw my art request but do it while sitting outside somewhere to get over your fear of doing stuff outside somewhere!" "Hey bunni try and pay attention to your surroundings while on your walk and then design a fakemon based on 3 interesting things you saw!"

I dunno lol...

Uhhh.. Probably the best kind of stuff for missions would be stuff that encourages me to go to new places, or to try and come out of my shell a bit more in the places i know. Like dont just be all hyper focused on not freaking out, actually look around a bit more. But its hard to be observant when my attention keeps getting dragged back to panic, so dumb stuff like "count how many red cars"would help trick my stupid misbehaving brain into accidentally doing something healthy for once! Its like i cant be left unsupervised?? Whenever i dont have a Goal or Reason or Distraction for a thing, my default setting for that thing is always Panic And Run. *shrug* Also just im a dumb person who gets easily entertained by goofy mission time. Making stuff into a game has always been my coping strategy, ive been making lots of progress just by keeping a notepad and giving myself experience points for every kilometre i walked per day. And also this is why taking photos of tiny gengar in cute places is truly a healing act!!!!!

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willgayers · 6 years

Note

i havent been COMPLETELY thru your list of reddie fics so if youve already done something similar ignore this but. what about a sickfic where richie is sick? also maybe eddie just like, forgets about germs to take care of him and then ends up getting sick too and blaming richie and richies jus like, dude, were you here

i changed it a little but only the part where he blames richie and richie wonders if he was there !!! hope u like it :-)

again,,, sorry for the length?? but i cant write these short?? also again. IT IS WORTH IT

so obviously eddie is TERRIFIED of germs and every time one of the losers has even a little flu he’s not gonna touch anything they touch and will stand 5 feet away from them and honestly in the end will probably just be that one friend who’s gonna say

“my mom said no”

just so that he won’t hurt his friends’ feelings even tho he really just doesn’t wanna be anywhere near them bc hey he could get it too and it could turn into something more dangerous like leper obviously

but then one tragic time… richie gets a flu

and eddie’s very torn bc he doesn’t wanna be with richie cause ???? he isn’t clean

but then again they were supposed to hangout

eddie is thinking whether he should ditch richie or not

“jesus i’ve been sneezin since 8am”

yeah eddie is not gonna go there

the gERMS ARE FLYING and just the thought makes him shiver

he’s thinking that oh well maybe tomorrow he’s gonna be ok again

spoiler alert: he’s not

so eddie suffers thru the day bc its boring at school without richie

they talk on the phone later that day and eddie’s like hey r u feeling any better

“i am nod” richie answers with a stuffed nose

eddie just sits on his bed with a facial expression that is nothing other than :(

then the day after that ,,, eddie goes to school in hopes of that maybe richie had a miracle healing last night and now he’s gonna be there

LMAO YOU THOUGHT EDS

now eddie is just gettin pissed off bc how dare his boyfriend be sick for this long

so again that night they speak on the phone

“richie jesus christ when are u gonna HEAL”

“i am do dorry eddi-spageddi bud i am just so sig”

eddie is gonna turn into hulk soon from the conflict bc he REALLY misses richie

should i stay or i should go™

(nice stranger things reference)

ok maybe eddie is gonna give it one more day.

so it’s friday and richie has missed school for almost the whole WEEK

“wow eddie you’ve been without richie for almost the whole school week how’s that feel must be a new record huh”

“shut up stan”

don’t be mean stan

eddie’s heart is breakin

again,,, he goes home from school and calls richie immediately

“ARE YOU,,,,STILL…. SICK?????”

“yeah i— *LEPER COUGH* i ah-ah-AMh *cough*”

eddie cringes because ???? oh my gosh he is turning into a zombie

“oK THATS IT”

eddie has had it

he hangs up and stomps out of the house and rides his bike to the grocery store and buys all kinds of stuff like non-caffeine tea ((bc he knows for a fact that it helps better than regular)),, some ice cream and chicken soup in a can even tho eddie thinks it’s disgusting and fights with one of the workers

“YOU DONT HAVE NORMAL,,, READY CHICKEN SOUP IN THE FRESH FOOD SECTION????”

“yeah not today”

“my bOYFRIenD haS bEeN SiCK!! FOR A WEEk and i hAVE TO BRING HIM A CAN????”

eddie shakes his head in disbelief and curses the store as he walks away

then he finally arrives at richie’s house

he knocks on the door first just in case his terrible excuse of parents are home but they aren’t

so he leans down to grab the key from under the doormat and opens the door

he walks in and stiffens his upper lip as he glances around at the sight of empty beer cans and liquor bottles and there’s just the smell of old booze and cigarettes in the air

like it’s normal (and eddie hates that it’s normal) but richie’s SICK and he should be breathing fresh air not the literal definition of the breath of a drunken bum who’s been living in the gutter

this wasn’t what he was expecting bc he figured that richie’s parents would at least open the fucking window because their son is sick inside the house

so quickly eddie makes his way to richie’s room that is at the end of the hallway and he knocks on it softly before opening the door

he finds richie sitting in his bed ,,, burrito inside blankets and he’s watching something from his laptop

his eyes are red and his face is a lil swollen and nose also v red

eddie wants to cry bc he looks so bad

“eddi???”

“yes,,, eddi to the rescue” he mocks his boyfriend’s stuffy nose voice a little

richie is literally starstruck bc ???? EDDIE IS THERE ???? EDDIE , IS THERE , WHEN HE IS SICK ????

“whad de fug edz u should go befor u ged dis doo”

“i’ve been to school without you for a week now richard im done”

richie wants to cry

eddie is still just staring at him bc he doesn’t know how to approach him since he’s still a little disgusted at the situation this is all new for him ok but he really wants to help his bf

“i bought u some stuff”

richie starts to smile wide

“BUT” eddie starts

“before i give u any”

“????”

“you’re gonna leave this house”

richie looks at him like he’s crazy

“r u serioud eddi every pard of ma badi hurts”

eddie feels so bad for him

“you don’t even have fresh air here richie so i am serious”

richie can’t take the fact that his boyfriend is such a knight in shiny armor

eddie leaves the bag for a moment to grab richie inside his blanket burrito and pull him up.

“ur gonna have to get rid of this blanket tho”

“no:(”

eddie looks at him

“srsly richie i can’t give you a ride on my bike you’re gonna fall down and roll down the hill”

“:(”

“i will give you my blanket once we’re there”

richie throws his blanket down way too fast and he starts feeling nauseous

the bike ride isn’t very aesthetic™ for him either bc his head is spinning and all of his muscles hurt and oh my gosh he’s doing his everything not to throw up on eddie’s back rn

eddie’s mom isn’t home so eddie can easily sneak richie in

he’s not sure how he’s gonna explain him living there until he’s healthy again tho

but he’s not gonna worry about that now

(fast forward;

i donT CARE THAT HE’S SICK AND INFECTED MOM,, i LoVE HiM!!!!)

so now they go into eddie’s room ( he’s basically holding richie up )

and richie settles down on eddie’s bed and eddie wraps him inside a blanket and richie is just smiling at him the whole time

“r u comfortable”

“very” richie says. the blanket smells like eds and he is in eddie’s bed. ofc he’s comfortable

“here’s my laptop”

eddie hands him his macbook and goes to the kitchen to prepare the chicken soup. in the can. which eddie still thinks is unacceptable as he heats it up

“here”

richie is about to cry bc “did you really mage me chiggen soub”

eddie nods with a light frown like wtf obviously that’s what you eat when you’re sick

“there’s also ice cream”

“ice cream???”

“yeah it’s for the throat…???

eddie is kinda confused bc how can richie not know it helps

then it occurs to him that

richie doesn’t know, because

no one’s probably ever taken care of him when he’s sick????

i REPEAT, NO ONE’S EVER TAKEN CARE OF RICHIE TOZIER WHEN HE IS SICK

now eddie wants to cry

“scoot over”

he wants richie to be on the side next to the wall so he can lean his head on it if he wants to it’s more comfy

with a lil trouble richie does move and eddie cuddles up next to him

literally cuddles

richie is SHOCKED

“are you sure u wanna do dat”

“100%”

richie wants to marry eddie

“wad r we watchin”

“kill bill”

“waid a minude… isn’d dis-”

“yours. yeah. i never watched it and i never gave it back so”

“u never watched dis?? oh my god eddi—”

“eat ur chicken soup and watch this movie with me now oKAY” eddie is a pissed off knight in shiny armor bc talking is just gonna exhaust richie more and he needs to get WELL

richie eats his soup and they watch the movie in silence,,,, glued to each other and at some point eddie realizes richie’s fallen asleep with his head resting towards eddie’s

eddie can’t move because he knows if he does he’s gonna wake up richie

but thankfully after like 15 minutes richie wakes up and he’s like “shid where am i”

“you’re with me”

he turns his gaze down at eddie and he remembers that yes,,, he is in fact with eddie and he just feels: ️️️️️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

well the weekend goes by and eddie goes hardcore nurse on richie and literally by sunday he is already pretty healthy like his voice is back to normal and so on

but… Oh… no

eddie and richie are eating in the kitchen

richie goes;

“baby can u pass me that ketchup”

“sure—”

SNEEZE

eddie’s eyes widen and he freezes in shock

richie looks at him like o'shit he done caught the flu

but then he starts to smile

“WELL I GUESS I WON’T BE GOING TO SCHOOL FOR ANOTHER WEEK”

“what do you mean?!?!?!”

“because obviously im gonna take care of u”

eddie is 😨😭💘😓😭💕😨😭💗

then later they tell the other losers why they’re both missing school and stanley uris wants to comment again

“so eddie u went to richie’s house??”

“yesh”

“and i thought i was romantic letting bill choose dinner”

@nopetaking @xbell22 @donthateonk8 @stenbroughbros @reddiebrekmyheart @itsgreywaterrichie @donvex @blueeyespurpleskies @ageorgymi @oh-youre-the-worst @eddiekaaspbraak @whipashwhipash @rissyq @richietoaster @edskasqbrak @waterlouis @wyattghouleff@urtury @bukiminajimu @kcutieeesblog @stansmansuris @adorefack@reddieaddict @icyeyes102@denbroughbill @graveyardshipper @taletellingsir @anxiety-freak-yuuri @rheddie @queertrashmouth

#richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #reddie #hcs #it 2017 #it fanfiction #reddie headcanon

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werewolfwilds · 6 years

Text

i redid an ask meme that i had originally done ~3 years ago to see the comparison so for archiving purposes im putting it in a lil journal entry here ! i wanna start doing small journal entries again it was fun when i did that

new answers bolded

1) what images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?

my desktop bg is literally just…. a collage of kageyama manga screencaps a h a,,,, and my cellphone bg are drawings some gay drew me like 74724 years ago :v // my desktop rn is actually a background from one of the dmmd routes LMFAO..... idk which one it is but i’ve always liked those bg pics!! my cell lock screen is p5 art and my bg is leopika

2) have you ever had a crush on a teacher?

nooooope // nah

3) what was your last text message?

my phone is dead so i wouldnt be able to tell you lmfao i dont even remember // it was a gif from kelly lol

4) what do you see yourself doing in 10 years?

hopefully working a job i enjoy and making costumes and being happy!! // god i have no idea and it freaks me out... hopefully working,,

5) if you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?

hoommee ((or at katsucon tbh)) // at the beach with friends maybe

6) what was your coolest halloween costume?

a white cat probably lmao // i dont think ive ever had a particularly exciting halloween costume but one year i was sharpay from high school musical and i think i peaked then tbh

7) what was your favorite 90s show?

uhhhh….. i didnt really… start watching tv until like… the 2000′s so i really cant tell you man lol // spongebob started in 1999 does that coUNT,

8) who was your last kiss?

(answer redacted) // :/ someone should kiss me so i can change this answer lmao

9) have you ever been stood up?

nope // nah

10) favorite ice cream flavor?

vanilla w/ vanilla oreos ok u need to underst a n d // this hasn’t changed i haven’t had this particular ice cream in a long time but i still stand by it

11) have you been to las vegas?

nahh // nope

12) your favorite pair of shoes?

idk i have these black ones i wear everywhere lol // i have a pair of white sneakers that i refuse to stop wearing now

13) honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other?

i wouldnt even consider it. // no bc i’m not a piece of shit lmao?

14) what is your favorite fruit?

hmmm…. pineapple orrr…. strawberries but only if they’re the really good kind like they have to be perfect // pineapple!!

15) have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself dating/having sex with? if possible?

….. ye s… yes. // in the past apparently so but thinking about it now nah lol

16) are you into hookups? short or long term relationships?

hookups arent my thing eh i prefer long term relationships altho i cant really say ive been in a “long” term relationship pffff // i don’t think hookups will ever be my thing, emotionally long term relationships are what i’m here for but i’m also a Very Impulsive Person so i cant tell you if this will stay a fact :’)

17) do you smoke? if so, what?

nope dont wanna // no thanks

18) what do you do to get over your anger?

usually talk to people or shout into word // i have to vent about it to someone probably a thousand times even months or years after it happens tbh

19) do you believe in god?

nahh // nah

20) does the person you’re in love with know it?

i aint in love with anyone rn so no? // i’m not in love with anyone.

21) favorite position?

………….. for w hat………. // oh honey lmfao... N/A

22) what’s your horoscope sign?

virgo/ox ovob // Virgo/sun, Aries/moon, Libra/rising and Cancer/midheaven

23) your fears?

literally everything i already named a few so ill name some others… ghh anything in… the ocean or lakes and stuff frightens me and i really dont know why bu tlike…. fish and crabs and jellyfish and seaweed cuz it’s evil and stu f f basically anything that’s not a mammal or turtles or penguins…. lo l im a baby // uncertainty is a big fear of mine and also people being mad at me lmao... as far as physical fears though i have debilitating fears of almost all insects/arachnids and lobsters/shrimp/crawfish :^)))))

24) how many pets do you have? what kind?

two cats and a dog!! // one cat one dog

25) what never fails to turn you on?

i dunno,,/////// // lol neck biting/kissing oof

26) your idea of a perfect first date?

im okay with mostly anything i just really like spending time with the person ; v ; // i’ve never really had an answer for this? thinking about dates has always made me so anxious for whatever reason but i’ll be happy to just spend time with them doing whatever honestly, i’m a super indecisive person aha

27) what is something most people don’t know about you?

i dont really know tbh lmfao // i’ve considered in the past looking into mental conditions (anxiety/bpd/etc) to see if i might have one or two but i never want to say anything about it because i don’t want to self-diagnose anything.

28) what makes you feel the happiest?

nice weather and nice conversations w/ best people u//v//u // nice weather and hanging out with people who are fun and easy to talk to

29) what store do you shop at most often?

does….. arda wigs count or… // does arda wigs still count bc mood lmao but truthfully now it’s probably target

30) how do you feel about oral? giving and/or receiving?

kkdkjsfkjkjfj??fsfj/// go for i t??? i have no problems with i t??? i dont think ill ever be willing to put a dick in my mouth though // these random sexual questions thrown in here are something aren’t they lmao. not going to disclose much but i will stand by the fact that i will not put a dick in my mouth lo l

31) do you believe in karma?

sometimes ye // i believe that people will eventually get what’s coming to them but i don’t believe in karma as a solid concept if that makes sense? like i don’t think it’s guaranteed

32) are you single?

yup yup // yeah it’s been wild lmao

33) do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize?

i think being sincere is the best way to apologize– if you truly mean it the person will know. you dont need to buy your forgiveness. // the best way to apologize is just to apologize sincerely and change your behavior if it’s applicable.

34) are you a good swimmer?

ehh??? im ok i guess– i took swimming lessons as a kid but i havent done legit swimming ever since then lmao,, ive always been best at the backstroke tho yea // i mean i have the ability to swim but i’m not olympic-worthy or anything lmao

35) coffee or tea?

ehhh im not big on either tbh // chocolate milk and you can fight me

36) online shopping or shopping in person?

depends what your shopping for i guess?? online is more relaxed i guess // online probably because shopping in person Gives Me Anxiety

37) would you rather be older or younger than your current age?

ehhh im happy where i am tbh // older

38) cats or dogs?

do not make me choose // cats and dogs* there i fixed it for you

39) are you a competitive person?

ahaa,,,,, oh god yeah,, // OOF yeah

40) do you believe in aliens?

i believe there’s life on other planets somewhere?? so i guess?? // i believe in aliens in the sense that there’s no way we are the only living life forms in the universe but not in the science-fiction way you feel me

41) do you like dancing?

i do but i suck at it lmao // i do but i: A- suck, and B- have no stamina

42) what kind of music to you listen to?

nearly everything tbh // i’m not picky when it comes to music but imma be real w u. almost all of the music on my phone is kpop. seventeen is my favorite group along with astro, and i also enjoy super junior, shinee, red velvet, etc among so many others,,, im pretty wide spread !

43) what is your favorite cartoon character?

i will never be able to pick just one // i’ll literally never be able to answer this

44) where are you from?

philadelphia uvu // philly!

45) eat at home or eat out?

hmmm at home. // at home

46) how much more social are you when you’re drunk?

i never plan on being drunk tyvm // i’ve never consumed alcohol in my life and to be Quite Fucking Honest i want nothing to do with it

47) what was the last thing you bought for yourself?

bracelets ! ; u ; // uh... excluding food and music... earrings i think

48) why do you think your followers follow you?

uhhhhhhh lmfao i have no idea i think… a good amount are for my cosplays at least?? or id like to think so lmfao but i really dont know pfft // my followers have just accumulated and hung around over the years... i know i gained a good amount from my snk days as arlert-the-troops and then through my haikyuu phase, whether it was for my cosplay or other posts that i made... whenever someone follows me now im not entirely sure what its for but i appreciate everyone who’s stuck around!

49) how many hours do you sleep at night?

it’s never regular man // 6-9 (lol) hours is pretty normal for me

50) what worries you most about the future?

everything tbh // the future as a concept worries me lol

#useless shouting #journal crap #sorry for so many personal posts lately ive been having fun with them lmfao

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roadkillfuneral · 7 years

Text

if connor never found the letter

No Letter AU a.k.a. connor and Evan were set up to be a perfect gay love story

-The story is the same up until the moment after Connor signs Evan’s cast. He doesn’t find the letter and leaves the computer room, already forgetting the nervous boy he just encountered

-Evan goes home and his mom sees Connor’s name on his cast bigger than life itself and invites him over for dinner. Connor never has a chance to even think about his previous plans that night

-As soon as Heidi leaves them alone they begin bonding over overbearing mothers and, soon after, shared disdain towards their fathers, and they’re attached to each other before they even realize

-Sometimes due to Evan’s mother, but more on their own, the two start to hang out. They goof around, talk about books they like and Connor shows Evan loud music and Evan shows Connor… support.

-At some point Evan notices the marks on Connor’s arms and asks about them, completely innocently. Connor lashes out of course, defensive as all get out because it’s not Evan’s business, it’s not anyone’s business, he doesn’t have to talk about it with anyone, it doesn’t matter he’s fine

-And Evan drops it because he’s confused but also because he wants to respect Connor’s wishes

-Connor sees that and not too much time later, he finds himself confiding in Evan, telling him about them, what he’s done, how long he’d been clean, but it doesn’t really matter, he’s fine. And Evan, touched, tells how he’d broke his arm. The real story.

-And then there’s a moment where they both have never felt less alone.

it doesnt end there though

-the friendship progresses pretty much perfectly. Connor’s parents love polite little Evan, and Heidi, at first, is just glad that Evan has a friend, but then she sees some of her lost teenage self in Connor and finds that Connor is actually a funny kid???

-Heidi and Connor totally playfully gang up on Evan “sh hon the grownups are talking” they sip their tea in unison omg give me heidi and connor cute friendship

-By now Evan is coming to Connor’s house whenever Connor isn’t at his and his crush on Zoe is ever persistent. And one day he makes a fool of himself, trips or chokes and eventually Connor is just like dude. what’s going on.

-so Evan comes clean, all blushy and dumb and gushing, but apologizing all the while because she’s your sister I’m sorry but gosh have you seen her smile? sorry but wow

-then Connor feels it. the tug in his chest and the burning of emotions he thinks are gone, thinks he couldn’t possibly feel anymore

-Connor has always known. He was lucky to grow up in this generation where he sees men holding hands on the sidewalks and it’s been a couple years since gay marriage was legalized. He knows this and he’s long since accepted it, though he’s never been with anyone cos everyone fucking sucks have you met people? they’re gross

-But Evan. He’s sweet and understands Connor and when he laughs- not that awkward laugh, but a real laugh that’s hard and deep- Connor’s heart stammers.

-he feels it even before that moment but he only begins to really comprehend his feelings when he’s jealous

-He manages to ignore it until one day when he asks Evan if he wants to smoke weed with him

-Evan trusts Connor fully and he’s curious and Connor always seems so laid back when he does it

-So he agrees, even if he’s a little skeptical

-He’s an anxious mess at first and coughs his lungs up and Connor has to light the pipe for him because Evan’s hands are shaking so bad and Connor was just planning on giving him a few hits, making him chill, but Evan takes a few too many drags and he is stoned

-At first Evan is just giggling and rambling and fluttering his hands and he seems fine and Connor thinks its fine so he smokes a little more, feels a little lighter, a little more high

-To this day he doesn’t know who started it. All he remembers is touching Evan’s hands and Evan touching his hair and counting Evan’s eyelashes and then they were kissing

-Connor has kissed a couple people before, usually pecks and things like that, and he assumed Evan has never kissed anyone before but it feels perfect, it feels like finally

-They’re pretty much making out by the time Evan pulls away, his eyes wide and scared and no longer high. Connor wants to kiss him again but he looks so scared. It’s a silent moment before Evan runs out silently

-Evan knows he’s not gay. Connor knows he is. Connor knows what he wants. Evan does not.

-he knows that he’s been admiring Connor, sure. He likes how tall he is and his black nail polish and how when he’s angry (even though he’s almost always angry) his eyebrows pucker but his bad moods make him look likes hes glowing when he smiles or laughs and…. that doesn’t make him gay, does it?

-So naturally he goes to his mother.

-And he’s like so. asking for a friend. what should you do if your friend of the same sex kisses you (even though he thinks he might have initiated it) and you kinda like it and might wanna do it more

-Heidi freaks out she’s all oh you and connor would be so cute oh what a sweet boy your cousin lindy can flower girl at the wedding

-Connor is all mom no for a friend

-Heidi smiles and agrees to play along, tells Evan, all wise and mom-like, that if he really likes Connor then he needs to tell him and see how Connor feels and talk out where they should go from there.

-Evan is scared to death. He likes Connor so much (in what way he doesnt know) and he’s pretty much his only friend and he’s so scared of ruining this but he goes anyways

-There’s a lot of stuttering and flushing on Evan’s part and mumbling and avoiding gazes on Connor’s part but they both admit to the feelings they have that are definitely not Straight and by the time theyre done they’re kissing again, simultaneously relishing in the fact that it feels much better sober and knowing where they stand

bonus content

-connor’s long noodle ass limbs getting in the way of everything. when they cuddle its a jumble of connor’s ligaments and evan in a ball watching as his beanpole of a boyfriend tries to adjust

-oh and cuddling? these two are a fucking mess

-it starts off the most awkward thing ever as i said connor can’t adjust himself and evan doesnt know where to put his hands but they are both very touch starved but they dont give up they keep trying and eventually connor knows just how to curl himself around evan so he can kiss his forehead and whisper in his ear and evan still can touch connor’s hair and snuggle his face into his tiddies chest

-connor denies that he likes it even a little bit even though he’s the one that initiated it, the nerd

-possessive connor. bruh.

-once he gets evan he refuses to let him go. if he sees alana even look at evan for too long he feels the need to take that moment to grab his hand (if he isn’t already holding it) or to kiss him or grab his ass whatever connor is possessive but pretty harmlessly. he knows evan likes him and only him but still.

-evan can also get jealous at times, though his is much more lowkey. if someone flirts with connor he wont speak up, but he’ll feel the need to tell connor how much he likes him and cherishes him. connor understands.

-weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed

-stop that ‘evan makes connor stop smoking’ bullshit. im here for evan becoming a borderline stoner because it helps with the anxiety. he might evan smoke more than connor. maybe he likes edibles more but im totally here for connor and evan shotgunning because homies share hits

-speaking of evan’s anxiety

-connor is annoyed with it at first tbh. evan’s nervousness and awkwardness grates on him but then he’s okay with it and then he finds it cute and then he loves him for it

-who says i love you first? ohoho boy

-i have way too many headcanons for this but my favorite is that they’re hanging out, probably smoking, def telling jokes and swapping little kisses and they’re laughing and evan just kinda says it

-connor’s mother doesn’t even tell him she loves him that much anymore. she kinda gave up when he started taking out his anger on everyone including her and when evan says it, connor stutters it back, but he says it, and dives down to kiss evan again but honestly no kiss could convey how happy he feels. evan says it many more times that night.

-zoe doesn’t get it tbh

-first this anxious weirdo comes into her house and is looking at her weirdly and then he’s looking at her brother and her brother is looking back and she hears laughing coming from connor’s room it’s weird but hey at least he isn’t acting crazy anymore

-then one night she hears a car come up the driveway at like 11 at night and she goes to her window to see who in fresh hell it is, forgetting that connor has gone to evan’s for the afternoon

-she sees the two get out of the car and go to the door. they chat a little bit and connor is smiling and their faces are weirdly close and they stop and evan leans up on his toes and oh my god they’re making out on the porch

-she never mentions it but there’s at least a week or more where she can’t look at connor

-if im being honest i see evan being ace but if he weren’t/still copulates with connor, im here for power bottom connor

-someone that wasn’t me mentioned evan still letting cynthia pay for his college but only if she gets connor therapy and i love it and i love evan getting connor to therapy and i love him getting therapy gwahh

i havent got anything else but um this au kills me daily hope u like it adios

#dear evan hansen #dear evan hansen au #connor murphy #evan hansen #zoe murphy #gay shit #connor x evan #evan x connor #gay au #everything queue want

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