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itgirlification · 3 years

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supermodel (2) | jjk

your story with jungkook never seems to end, yet you’re still worried about how it’s gonna end.

pairing: ex-bf!jk x thick!reader

warnings: TOXIC (i cannot stress this enough shit is hella toxic), yn is kinda (very) dumb, jungkook is an actual asshole, borderline mental abuse, infidelity, more insecuritiiiies, mentions/hints of sex, etc.

part one part three

There you were in his arms again, with only your panties and his shirt on.

At this point, you couldn’t even explain yourself. You were guilty, but you know what they say; love hurts.

With his arms wrapped around you and you clinging to him like that, you couldn’t care less about what was gonna happen next. You knew you were probably gonna have a mental breakdown when you go back to the dorms but for now, you were okay.

After he came over that night, he contacted you again. He said he didn’t want this to be serious, he wanted it to be a solely sexual relationship.

“You know, you’re the first girl I’ve been with, who seems to like getting hurt and degraded”, he sighs against your hair. “Sometimes I feel like you can’t get enough of it.”

You stayed silent. What were you supposed to do anyway? Tell him he’s right and stay like this for a while or react defensively and start an endless argument? You chose the first one.

“You’re the only woman that’d let me do all this stuff and still love me. Maybe that’s why I came back to you.”

Holding back the tears, you cling closer to his larger body, as if you were using him as some kind of shield. He thought you were an easy target and forgiving. What else would a man want from a woman he was only interested in fucking, a side piece? Even if she’s in love with him, she was gonna ignore that just to spend as much time with him as possible.

“It’s not like you actually came back.”, you responded, keeping your voice as stable as you could. “We’re just fucking.”

Jungkook sighed deeply, most likely noticing your petty undertone. “Don’t be like that. We aren’t fucking right now.”

You weren’t sure what point exactly he was trying to prove, you agreed to be his side chick. Did he think you didn’t know what a side chick was supposed to do? Because you did know, you just secretly thought you guys were meant to be, you weren’t just some side piece.

Looking around the motel room, your stomach began feeling weird. He wasn’t usually cheap, but you guessed he thought a side chick didn’t deserve a better environment than a cheap motel room rent for a night.

“Because we literally just did.”, you calmly said. You weren’t trying to piss him off.

But Jungkook wasn’t having it. Out of nowhere, he shoved you aside and put his hands over his face, noticeably frustrated.

“What happened?”, you weren't sure if asking that was the best option.

Jungkook turns his body to you. “What happened?? You keep on fucking me up and being a bitch about all this and you ask me what happened?”

He was so furious, his eyes were dark and his face was screwed up. You were now both standing, his tall figure towering over yours.

You saw his hand forming a fist and it would’ve been a lie if you said you weren’t terrified. He hasn’t touched you once throughout your relationship, but you never know.

“I didn’t even say anything. Maybe you’re just a little too sensitive.”, you were pouring salt on a wound at this point, but you didn’t want to be weak and let him talk to you like that.

“Me, sensitive?”, his tone was dangerously serene, as he leaned closer to your face. “If I wasn’t here with you, you'd probably still be crying over me. And you know where I’d be? Laying in bed with the beautiful model I have the privilege to call my girlfriend. Yn, I don’t need you. Don’t get bold with me, ‘cause we both know who’s gonna be heartbroken in the end.”

You couldn’t look him in the eyes, what did you get yourself into again? This wasn’t Jungkook’s fault, this wasn’t anybody’s fault but yours. You should’ve never opened up, you should’ve never said yes to being his side piece, you should’ve never been his girlfriend, to begin with. You stayed silent, but your loud sniffs and your uneven breathing said more than you could at the moment.

“I’m leaving.”, he announced coldly before throwing his black leather jacket over his broad shoulders, leaving you half-naked, crying on the poor-quality motel bed you just had sex on. When he got out of the motel room, you looked outside of the small window, watching him leave in the car he drove you here with.

Now, you had no other option than to call Jane to pick you up since your dorm was a half an hour walk away from the motel and you didn’t have the energy to walk for even a minute.

You weren’t sure if you had the energy for all the questions Jane was gonna ask you when she sees your mascara smeared face and your messy hair. Not to mention the motel. You weren’t a motel type of girl and she knew that.

Still, you called her and she answered almost immediately. “Yn? What happened? I thought you were gonna sleepover at your parents’?”

Sleepover at your parents’ house? You had almost forgotten the bad lie you told Jane just to have sex with Jungkook in this cheap-ass motel. And to think you were convinced you two were gonna stay the whole night.

“Uh”, you quickly coughed to cover up the voice cracks you got from crying. “Yeah, it’s a long story, please pick me up. I’ll text you the address.”

About 10 minutes later, Jane arrived and looked at you like you were out of your mind when you got into the car. “Yn, what the fuck? I was so worried about you. And this isn’t your parents’ house, this is a fucking motel. Did you meet a guy? Did he do something to you? Should I call the cops?”

“No, no, no, oh my god, please don’t”, you knew she was gonna ask a lot of questions. “I lied to you. So what actually happened was me and Jungkook reconnected an-“

She rolled her eyes. “Of course it was Jungkook. So I’m guessing he left you here?”

You hesitantly nodded.

“So when were you gonna tell me you ‘reconnected’ with him? When did you even ‘reconnect’ with him?”, she mockingly asked you. You weren’t blaming her for being pissed off, you’d have been too in this situation.

“A month ago? I think..”, you muttered.

“Hm”, Jane nodded, sighing at your naivety. “And when did he even break up with his model chick?”

You awkwardly looked away and Jane was hoping it wasn’t because of what she thought.

“He didn’t break up with her??”, Jane was beyond frustrated. “So.. you’re like his side chick now? Are we gonna stoop that low for men, yn?”

Jane always wanted the best for you and you knew she knew what was the best for you too, you were just too foolish. And too in love with a man you can’t force into loving you again.

“I know but please can we not talk about this right now? I just don’t feel like it.”, you asked, looking down on your fingers, ashamed of yourself.

“Alright, I’m sorry, babe.”, Jane hugged your side quickly, before starting the engine and heading back to the dorm. “You know I just want what’s best for you.”

You nodded, looking out of the window with your head full.

“Bella just texted me and said her birthday party will be 90s themed? Can’t she be a little more specific?”, Jane barged into the room, looking down on her phone in disbelief.

Bella was a person you two met at college in one of your shared classes. She was a sweetheart, but she was a little spoiled too. The only reason why she got into the college was that her rich daddy bribed them, but you couldn’t be mad, your parents would’ve done the same if they had the money.

She was extremely extroverted, a people person. She probably never had a boring day in her life with all the parties she threw whenever her dad and his 20 something-year-old girlfriend were on vacation or business trips. She even had some celebrity friends and would just casually post selfies with them on her Instagram story like it was a normal thing to do. She was basically living the dream, clueless about what real life for others really was about.

Jane had a love-hate relationship with Bella ever since they met. She thought Bella was a nice girl, but it was ‘unbearable’ to have a conversation with her because she was too self-centered to talk about anything else than herself.

You shrugged. “Just wear something Aaliyah would’ve worn.”

“Hm. Fair enough. It’s really not all that deep, actually.”, She said. “So what are you gonna wear?”

“I don’t even know if I’m going, Bella’s parties are boring.”, you answered honestly.

You really weren’t sure if you’d go. You did feel like seeing people and having a little fun but it wasn’t like you ever had fun at any of Bella’s parties. One time, a guy puked all over a new dress you bought just for the party, and another time, you were forced to drink 4 beer bottles. You hated beer.

“Why not? It’s gonna be fun and you’re coming.”, she decided for you, making you playfully roll your eyes. “And wear that black latex dress, I haven’t seen it on you in forever.”

To say that Jane was a fashionista would be an understatement. She was too invested in fashion to be bothered with anything else.

“Alright, but only if we don’t stay for long.”, you tried to compromise with her.

She nodded. “We gotta buy her presents though. Is there even anything she doesn’t have?”

You sighed, annoyed. “C’mon, there’s gonna be at least 200 people at that party, it’s not like she’ll notice if we just don’t get her anything. Besides, she’s rich as fuck.”

Jane snickered at your comment. “Girl, you must not know her, she checks every damn person and probably throws them out if they don’t buy her a Chanel bag or something. Bitch is a little crazy.”

It was amusing because you both knew that was exaggerated. Bella wasn't that serious about gifts. But let’s just say, for the money that her dad had, she was a little too greedy.

But you were too bothered with your own life than to worry about other's.

As soon as you arrived at Bella’s mansion, two security guards were standing in front of the door. They let you in as you showed them your invitations. It was a little bit extra, but that’s just how Bella was.

The first thing you noticed when you entered the house was the smell of sweat and weed. Already? You weren’t really surprised though.

Bella was standing there, wearing a skintight red dress that, ironically, didn’t really fit her own party’s theme. But she did look absolutely beautiful greeting her guests with the biggest smile on her glowing face. She had her strawberry blonde hair down in elegant beach curls and there were some cute butterfly clips placed in them.

You could recognize that it was her birthday from miles away. She was basically shining.

“Oh my god, Jane, Yn!! I’m so happy to see you guys!”, an overly keen Bella came, hugging you both with strength. “Oh, I see you got me something, girls you know you shouldn’t have!”

She tried hiding her smile at the bags in your hands, freeing the two of you from them immediately.

“It’s your birthday, Bella. We can’t just come here without any gifts, girl.”, Jane smiled. “Happy birthday.”

You looked to your side, admiring Jane’s acting skills. “Happy birthday, Bella! I can’t believe you’re 23 now.”

“I know right, if you were a year younger, you’d be as old as your dad’s girlfriend.”, Jane joked around, making Bella hysterically laugh.

“C’mon, almost everybody’s here already”, Bella excitedly pushed you towards the living room.

The room’s stench was even more unbearable than the one at the entrance, leaving you covering your nose for a second leaving out an ‘oof’.

The 90s trap music was heard extremely loudly through the whole house and there were people dancing and grinding. There were some couples that sat on one of the many couches, acting like they were in their own little world. It wasn’t very pleasant to watch, but you just chose to ignore it. The stench was something you couldn’t ignore though.

You were already bored out of your mind.

A few minutes of pure boredom and dry conversations passed then the music stopped playing and you could hear Bella’s voice calling for everybody’s attention. “I’m gonna open the presents now, so everybody come here and Daphne, please bring the gifts here so I can open them.”

Daphne was Bella’s personal maid. She never really talked, but she did everything she needed to. She brought all the bags to Bella one by one and you could’ve sworn she was trying not to cry out of happiness.

“Oh my god, Jackson”, She cried out as she pulled a pair of Saint Laurent shoes out of a box. “These are so beautiful. You even got the right size. Thank you so mu-“

“Bella, I’m so sorry we’re late, we had to run some errands”, a soft-spoken voice interrupted, making everybody in the room turn her way, just to see the charming model with none other than Jeon Jungkook by her side. Wow.

As soon as you turned your head to see who it was, you turned back around, looking at Jane to make sure she saw what you saw. You sent her a questioning, almost panicking look just for her to shrug.

“Yuki! It’s fine, girl. Come here, I’m opening my presents right now.”, The birthday girl exclaimed, making Yuki immediately hand her her gift.

Jungkook was just walking behind his girlfriend, making no type of noise whatsoever and you prayed he wouldn’t see you.

They sat down at an angle where you couldn’t help but look at them though and you were sure he looked at you for a split second as well. They looked beautiful together.

Bella just continued opening gifts and thanking everybody dearly, but you weren’t paying attention to that. You just zoned out for most of it. Those were a lot of gifts she got.

You couldn’t help but steal another glance at your ex-boyfriend and the girl besides him.

She looked even cuter in real life. Her cheeks had a natural blush to them and her hair was long and healthy. She was thin and her skin tone was warm and even.

You’ve always been insecure about your hyperpigmentation, but she didn’t seem to have any problems with how she looked. She was near damn perfect. Perfect wasn’t real, but if it was, it’d be her.

Jungkook probably never had a problem introducing her to his parents or his friends. You always felt like he had difficulties with that while he was dating you. He just wasn’t confrontational enough to tell you he was ashamed to have you as his girlfriend.

You seemed to be stuck in your place while everybody else was either dancing or making conversation.

Jane was sitting next to you, talking to a girl with blond box braids about a new movie that recently came out. You heard what they were saying, but it sounded like a foreign language to you since you weren’t focused.

“Yn? Are you okay?”, Jane whispered in your ear, hugging your shoulder. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know they were invited.”

You shook your head. “It’s fine, Jane. It’s not your fault, I just kind of wanna go home.”

She looked at you apologetically. “Can’t we stay for a little while? I promise it won’t take long, I’m just actually having fun here.”

You had to admit you were being selfish, not just in that moment, but whenever it came to Jungkook. You’ve dragged Jane through all of your shit and never really thought about how she must feel like.

Nodding in response to her. “I’m gonna get myself something to drink.”

You finally stood up from your place, looking around unsure, feeling like you’re taking up so much space wherever you go, even when you were doing absolutely nothing.

You wore the latex dress, but only because Jane insisted and made sure you knew you looked good. She convinced you for maybe a second, but all those insecurities were coming back. You tried sucking in your stomach the whole night, but it just wasn’t enough.

You were asking yourself all kinds of questions. If your arms looked too fat and if your cellulite was visible, if your hip-dips were as noticeable to others as they were to you. You felt like everybody was looking and they were judging really hard.

All you wanted was to fade into oblivion.

You were feeling his eyes on your back and god, you wanted to look too but you fought the urge, just continued walking to the bathroom. You weren’t in the mood to drink after all.

Your gut feeling was telling you he was following, but you ignored it.

Until you were about to close the bathroom door and you saw black timberlands stepping between the door and the doorframe to stop you from closing it.

You sighed, opening the door, resulting in him getting in the bathroom with you.

“Why are you avoiding me?”, the handsome man facing you asked, brown eyes looking deep inside of yours.

“How can I avoid you when you didn’t even try talking to me?”, you asked back, looking away immediately.

You hated how your relationship was just a cycle of him hurting you and coming back, acting like he hadn’t done anything wrong. And he was so good at it too.

He chuckled darkly, letting his eyes glide down your body for a second just to look back into your eyes. “You know exactly what I mean, yn. Don’t play dumb.”

You did know what he meant.

“And? It’s not like I have anything to say to you.”

Jungkook came closer to you, softly wrapping one arm around your waist, whispering in your ear. “You don’t?”

You couldn’t believe how shameless he was, being so close to you while his girlfriend was a few meters away, outside of this door, probably thinking he’s getting her a drink or something. You wondered if he did the same thing to you when you were dating.

“Jungkook, stop. Your girlfriend is here.”, you tried to convince yourself you didn’t want it. “How can you even do this?”

“It’s nothing we haven’t done before, princess.”, He kissed your earlobe. “You can’t possibly think it’s okay when she’s not around, but not okay when she is. It’s the same thing.”

You knew he was right, besides, you were just as guilty as he was. You were messing around with a taken guy and the worst part was, you knew he was taken and you still did it.

“I know, but I wanna end whatever this is”, you hesitated to say. “It’s unhealthy and you already have a girlfriend, why don’t you go and kiss her, why me?”

You were avoiding this conversation ever since this started. Sometimes it’s hard talking about things you don’t actually want to hear about.

“What do you mean?”, Jungkook feigned confusion, but you knew better than to believe him. “It’s easier said than done, yn. We have a history together, you know that.”

“I do, but that’s all we are. History. And we should both get over it.”, you responded.

“But what if I don’t want to?”, it was more of a statement than a question, really. “What if I told you, you’re special to me?”

You were gonna have a meltdown if he continued with this. Why was he so fucking complicated? You knew he didn’t love you so what was it?

“But I’m not. The only reason why you come back is because you think I’m easy material. It’s because you were my first everything and it’s because you know exactly how much you mean to me.”, you cry out, tears coming up to ruin your makeup again. You wished you wouldn’t cry as much as you did. “You know I’ll always let you in, no matter what. I know I’m at fault too here and I’m not blaming you, but please for god’s sake, don’t make it worse on me.”

You looked in the mirror, almost not recognizing yourself. You felt detached from reality, but not in a good way at all.

Jungkook scoffed, looking down at you. “I know I shouldn’t have tried talking to you. It’s like you can’t even appreciate anybody showing you affection. I’m trying to prove to you, that you aren’t nothing to me and that’s the response that I get. Not everybody’s against you, yn, you’re just too insecure to notice. That’s why you haven’t ever had anybody showing you interest. It’s because you lack confidence and think the world revolves around you. But I did show you interest. In the past and now. But look at you. You haven’t changed at all, still the little yn who compares herself to other girls and thrives off of male attention, because you can’t believe that somebody could love you just for you when there’s skinnier, prettier girls walking around. So what if there are skinnier, prettier girls around? That’s reality, yn.”

You didn’t know what exactly you expected him to say, but that wasn’t it. Looking at him with big, teary eyes, is that really what he thought of you? Of course, it was. Because it was the truth. The cold, hard truth. Not sugarcoated. He knew you better than you wanted him to.

Without a single word leaving your dry lips, you open the door and run out, ignoring him calling your name and the weird stares people were giving you. You needed to find Jane.

Once you found her joking around with a bunch of random people, you go up to her. You most likely looked like you came out of a horror movie.

“Yn? What the fuck happened?”, she lightly took your face in her warm hands and caressed your cheek worriedly.

“Pl- please, can we just go home?”, you whimpered, thankful that everybody was respectful enough to turn around and focus on their stuff instead of ogling at you.

“Sure, sure. Come here”, she took you in her arms and walked you out of the mansion, not caring to say goodbye to anybody.

people who wanted to get tagged in pt. 2:

@1-in-abillion @sarcasmflowsinmyveins @chieftoadturkeynickel @madygswich @kb-bangtanenthusiast

thank you for the support love yall!! 💗

a/n: so i know most of yall probably wanted a happy ending but first of all this probably isn’t the ending:) and i wanted to portray it as realistically as possible. It’s really hard to get out of a toxic relationship especially when you’re so in love with them but i’ll see what i can do to make yn happy cuz girly’s going thru it. Btw this wasn’t proofread so there’s probably so many mistakes and i thought this was very underwhelming but i hope you guys like it thank you!

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chelleztjs18 · 3 years

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Lost in Assistance - Ch. 5

Elizabeth Olsen x Fem!Reader

GIF: I do not own this GIF.

Summary: Y/n is a professional celebrity's personal assistant in Hollywood got hired with two years contract to be the assistant of the famous and talented Elizabeth Olsen / Lizzie by her manager. Both Y/n and Lizzie hate each other since day one, and they have mutual friend. One is as stubborn as the other, will Y/n stay when Lizzie gives attitudes and tries her best to make her quit before the contract ends?

Warning: fluff, angst, smut (in future chapters), swearing words ( +18 only)

All chapters

“Hey, I’m leaving now. Are you there yet?” Lizzie texted shortly after she turned on her car. “I’ll be there in 15 minutes.” Aubrey replied. “Okay, on my way. It won’t get me too long to get there.” She tossed her cell phone onto the passenger side seat and started to drive.

It’s almost lunch time hour, the traffic is getting undeniably more crowded. It’s typical L.A traffic with its uncertainty crowd flow on random parts here and there. While driving Lizzie starts to think about the meeting today. A part of her actually feels bad knowing that you might have heard what she said on the phone. Deep down she knows it’s not your fault to be caught in the middle of this whole matter. The more she thinks about it, the more it triggers her memory that your were actually the girl who smiled nicely to her at the coffee shop who didn’t do anything that made Lizzie get recognized when she was trying to not to be and that was why Lizzie nodded and smiled as an appreciation towards you.

Of course once her common sense slowly starts to get her to think in the right way, her stubbornness quickly erupts and plays with her emotion again. Especially when her memory rewinded the view when your left hand grabbed the pen and signed the contract even after she gave you a cold intimidating statement then it was followed by the memory of all of her conversations with Jane and her mom who hired you without her agreeing to it. It makes her feel that they don’t think she is old enough to deal with this situation. Her anxiety only makes her more emotional in handling this matter and forces her to dislike you even more and to think what she should do to make you quit.

All the thinking while driving clearly makes it feels faster to get to the restaurant where she's meeting Aubrey. She parked her car, then walked into this quiet restaurant. She was greeted by the host then she explained she is meeting her friend here as her green eyes are searching for where Aubrey sits. “Lizzie! Over here!” Aubrey’s voice quickly caught her attention. Lizzie sees her sitting at the table in the patio and walks to her.

“Hey, how are you? It took longer to get here than you thought huh?” She gave Lizzie a hug. “Hey, how are you? Yeah, sorry, I got caught in a little traffic.” Lizzie sighed then she took a seat. The girls order some food and drink to accompany them while they are catching up.

“Sooo, what's up with your text yesterday. What do you want to figure out together with me? From your text, I can feel you were upset.” Aubrey starts the conversation. “Really? You can sense how I feel from my text?” Lizzie rolled her eyes playfully. “Of course, we are best friends, more like a soulmate I think but seriously what’s going on?” She joked around but tried to dig into what's going on at the same time.

Lizzie starts with a sigh and takes a sip of her drink. “Do you remember when I told you that Jane and my mom are thinking of getting me a new personal assistant?”

“Yeah? They still talk about it with you?” Aubrey said as she took a bite of her food.

“Even worse! They hired one already regardless of the fact that I said that I don't need one. I met her this morning. She came by with Mitchel Elrod to sign the contract and everything. Turns out she is his best friend.” Lizzie explained with huge annoyance.

“Oh yeah, I remember him. I got my assistant from his company. Does she know how you feel about this thing?”

“Oh that part, she might have heard what I said when I was talking with you on the phone this morning because I didn’t know that she was sitting in front of me in the waiting room. I felt terrible actually but then in the meeting I was thinking fuck it so I told her bluntly straight to her face that I actually don’t need her and I’m here because I’m forced to give it a try so this better be worth it.” Lizzie put her head to her hands, her thumbs massage her temples a little bit.

Aubrey gasped, “No you did not! Then what did she say?” Aubrey got so invested with what’s going on.

“Nothing really. She just said she hopes I like the way she works. That’s all. I was hoping she would change her mind and say no to work for me after what I said to her, but then she signed everything like she was trying to say “challenge accepted” to me.” Lizzie motions an air quote then takes another sip of her drink to calm herself down. “It’s like a competition to me now. This just made me doesn’t like her more.” She added.

“So I need your help to figure out how to make her quit because the contract said it can be terminated if there is a mutual agreement from both parties. So if one day she says she wants to quit, I will agree to it and boom! Case close!” Lizzie told her idea with confidence.

“Why are you trying so hard anyway? I meant Jane and your mom have a point. She will be very busy, they just want someone to help to provide your needs at work. You're gonna have a few busy years sister with all the upcoming filmings and others. It’s for your own sake I guess.” Aubrey shrugged as she tried to talk Lizzie out.

“Oh my God! Aubrey, you are supposed to be on my side. The problem is my anxiety. It’s hard to adjust with new people. This is also about how they don’t listen to my opinion or what I want. They hired her without finalizing it with me first.” Lizzie explains in frustration.

“It’s also about your ego isn’t it?” Aubrey added as she knows her best friends very well.

“They know you would still say no even if they asked you before they hired her and honey I really understand your anxiety, I'm so sorry. Okay, I’ll help you. Why don’t you just give her hard times at work? Give her “hell” at work.” She suggested.

“And how do I do that?” Lizzie asked in confusion.

“I don’t know. Just be as bitchy as you can, ask ridiculous things. Make her do stuff that doesn’t make sense. So basically gets on her nerves every single day, I guess. Be difficult, you know what I meant.” Aubrey continues with her suggestions.

“I think you are right! Aubrey you are a genius! Thank you!”

“What would you do without me?” Aubrey rolls her eyes joking around. “Anyway, what’s her name again? How does she look?” All of this conversation made Aubrey curious and pulled out her phone.

“Y/n Y/l/n. She looks okay and well dressed. A little taller than me. She’s - “ Aubrey all of a sudden cuts her off before she can even finish her sentence.

“Wait! what?! Y/n Y/L/n?” Aubrey is as surprised as she can be, then looks at her phone and shows it to her confused friend. “Is this her?” Lizzie squints her eyes as she takes a look at the social media account profile Aubrey shows her. “YES! That’s her. Wait, how do you know? Please don’t tell me you know her too.” Lizzie covers her face with both of her hands as a sign of frustration.

“Actually, Yes I know her. I know her from a mutual friend quite a while ago. She also introduced me to Mitchel. I didn’t know she came back to work with him. I haven’t seen her for a while, we just sometimes text each other here and there just to say hi.”

“Aww, she hasn’t really changed. I always like the way she dresses and her good taste of music. Look, isn’t she cute?” Aubrey smirked jokingly as she continued checking Y/n’s social media on her phone and showed it to Lizzie.

“What are you talking about Aubrey? Cute or not, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m upset with this whole situation and I already do not like her, besides I don’t date girls. I’m dating Robbie. You know that! So can you focus here please?" Lizzie snapped her finger to regain Aubrey's attention back to the main topic.

“Haha, okay chill. I was just joking because you are so tense right now. You are dating Robbie but it doesn't look or feel like you guys are dating. You both barely spend time together. He is too busy with his band and his tours. You know what? I started to think he dates you just to boost his fame.” Aubrey casually points out her opinion to her best friends.

“Aubrey, I’m here not to talk about my relationship.” Lizzie reminded her why they are there.

“Okay okay!” Aubrey laughed. “Anyway, I don’t think I can help you to give more ideas to annoy y/n at work. I love you but I didn’t know it was Y/n you were talking about. She’s my friend too, I can't do that to her. At least I gave you the idea in the beginning but just considered I never tell you anything. Sorry babe, I hope you understand.”

“That’s too bad but okay, I understand.” She pouted but she can’t complain because at least Aubrey already gave her a little rough idea what to do.

The girls used the chance to also catch up with each other’s life but unfortunately it has to come to an end as one of them has to go home.

“Okay Liz, sorry I gotta go. I’ll see you when I see you, okay. Remember, don’t hate her too much if you don’t want to end up falling for her. Well that was what old people used to say, I think.” Aubrey teased Lizzie while giving her a goodbye hug.

“Aubrey stop! That won’t happen. See you soon. Thanks for the help.” Lizzie hugs her goodbye. Lizzie then got into her car and pulled her phone out.

“Hey Y/n, this is Elizabeth Olsen. On friday, we are supposed to drive together to my photoshoot location. Meet me at the office at 6 AM. We’ll take your car from there. Oh, don’t forget my coffee. The one I like. It’s on the list.” Lizzie texted Y/n with no signs of compromise in text.

“Hi. Ms. Olsen, I thought the schedule was at 8 AM but okay, I will meet you there at 6 AM on Friday, with your coffee.” Agreeing is all y/n can do. It’s the first day of work anyway, what’s the worst could happen.

Ch. 6

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artaxerxesthegreat · 2 years

Text

Playing with Fire: Part 7 (I think)

A/N: Everyone in this story is 18+, if minors are mentioned they aren’t getting in any weird, sick, twisted situations with adults. I also use female pronouns for the reader and the reader may be a bit OC. I would also prefer that minors DO NOT interact with this at all. Thank you.

Warnings: Dream based, Actors mixed with characters, College AU!, Mixed universes, Raffey Cassidy stands in as Sprite, Swearing, gaslighting, manipulation, cheating, mild violence (?), implied sexual content, mentions of bullying, college strife, MCU/X-Men/Spider-Man/Actors mashed in one universe, self- doubt, insecurities, depression, angst, fluff, enemies to lovers, slow burn, family issues, mentions of disabilities, (Please let me know if I’ve missed something too.)

This is a bit of a spicy chapter 💋🔥💦

Will I stop?

….

…Fuck.

Alright I’m not reasionalizing this (yes I am) plus as the years went on we’ve relaxed on the touching and flirting, so that’s good! I’m doing good! I’m not a horrible person! It’s not like I’m cheating and- and he isn’t either. He’s crazy about Sprite, and he asks for my advice when it comes to her- told him he could ask Ikaris and I stopped talking after that.

Though there was this one time, about a 1½ year into their relationship, he called me extremely frustrated because Sprite decided to stay out super late at some party when he told her not to go. He asked if he could come over .

—1 ½ years ago—

“Yes! Totally… No it’s not too late… I know it’s 2:30 in the morning, but my friend needs me, so get your ass over here.”

He came by and collapsed on my small twin sized bed face down into my pillow.

“Sure, just make yourself at home.” I laugh sitting in my desk chair. My reward for my sarcasm is a loud muffled groan, “You want something to drink?”

He nods his head in my pillow, getting up I go get him a glass of orange juice and I can’t help the feeling that this is familiar somehow. Dismissing the feeling I go in and nudge his leg, “Here you go bud.”

Sitting up he stares at the glass, “Orange juice? Don’t you have anything a bit stronger?”

“I can add soda-” Ah, yes, I remember now, “whoa, Deja vu.”

“What is it?” He watches as I shiver at a thought remembering how the rest of that night went.

“Uh nothing, just remembering something is all. So you haven’t heard from Sprite since she went to the party?”

He takes a long drink before he answers with a simple, “Nope!”

“Hmm, well do you want to go and see if she’s still there?”

“Not really.”

“Why not?”

“I- I…” He sighs deeply, rubbing his face roughly as he leans forward hiding his face in his hands. I thought he was just trying to organize his thoughts, or was maybe tired because of how late it was, but when I hear small sniffles I know that isn’t the case.

“…um…Druig?” I whisper, putting my hands on his wrists, he tenses at this and I move to sit in front of him on the floor letting him go, softly I say, “Sorry, sorry. You don’t have to talk or tell me anything, but if you want to I’ll be outside in the living room. Okay?”

He just nods his head and I step out into the living room closing the door behind me. As soon as the door clicks I can hear small sobs coming from the other side and it breaks my heart into pieces, I’ve never felt so useless or helpless. Taking a breath I go sit on the couch and turn on the TV on to let him have his moment in peace. A few minutes later my roommate walks in with one of her friends and both their boyfriends.

“Y/N, you’re up?!” She says shocked.

“And in the living room.” Her dark haired friend points out dryly, her boyfriend laughs sitting in the chair in the corner.

“Hey Jane, Thor, and two people I don’t know.” I nod at them in recognition.

“You don’t know me? Everybody who’s anybody knows me.” The guy with white hair states matter-of-factly.

“Ignore him, I do. He thinks he’s God's gift to man.” She says sitting on his armrest tussling his already messy hair, “I’m Darcy and this annoying guy is Howard.”

“Oh, hi.” I give them the best smile I can, but it’s so forced they grimace at me, “Sorry, have a lot on my mind right now. I’m Y/N.”

“Yeah, I heard when Jane said your name.” Howard quips as he pulls out a silver flask.

“Right… Are you drinking?”

“Always!” He says proudly sharing the flask with Thor. Looking at Jane she rolls her eyes and goes into the kitchen.

“So what has you down in the dumps, Y/N/N?” Thor’s voice is loud as he sits in the chair opposite Howard.

“Uh, a lot. I’d rather not get into it right now.” I shift uncomfortably on the couch as I look to my door.

“It’s a guy isn’t it?” Darcy says plainly.

“Oooooo guy troubles.” Howard adds leaning forward with interest.

“What- no no, I’m not having guy problems. Not saying I’ve never had any, but I’m not having any right now- I’m just- it’s… I mean I have a friend who’s a guy, and- and he’s dealing with something. But no, I'm good with my guy. We’re good. Completely and totally.”

“That wasn’t defensive at all.” Howard smiles as Darcy shoves him.

“Howard, stop being so nosy.”

“Can’t help it, babe, and I’m not sorry.”

“Well what troubles does your friend have?” Thor asks in a calmer tone.

“Um, I- I- I don’t think I should…”

“Ooohh.” Everyone says understandingly.

“You’re a really good friend, I would’ve laid out their business like a spreadsheet.” Darcy laughs taking the flask.

“Lucky me, huh?” Jane sasses coming to us with a cup of coffee.

“Hey, if it wasn’t for me you never would’ve been with that hunk over there, so you’re welcome.”

“Thank you.” She smiles into her cup.

“Jane, it’s 3 in the morning.” I deadpanned, pointing at her coffee.

“Actually it’s 2:58, not quite 3 yet.”

“You and technicalities.” I roll my eyes at her with a small smile.

She shrugs with a smile while taking another long sip, “I’m so glad it’s the weekend right now, because I’m going to have a hangover tomorrow.”

“And coffee is going to help? You might as well just keep drinking.” Howard tosses the flask to Thor, but I catch it on the way, “Whoa, hey!”

“I need this more than you guys.” I say chugging the contents. After four gulps I take a breath and groan as it hits my throat and stomach, “Jack Daniel’s, smooth.”

“…Wow, okay I wasn’t expecting that- Jane you didn’t say your roommate was cool!” Darcy gets up and sits down next to me on the couch smiling impressed.

“She’s not.” Jane replies at a loss for words.

“Oh, thank you Jane.” I give her a face and she tries to find the right words.

“No-no, no no, you’re cool, sure, but… not like… in a kind of- I I…”

“It’s fine Jane, I know what you mean.” I wave her off and she gratefully takes a breath, “I don’t always drink but when I do I do it for a reason.”

“What reason is that?” Howard asks.

“I have no idea, I thought it’d be cool to say that.” I laugh out looking at their faces.

“She’s gone.”

“Oh yeah.” Darcy pats her knees and stands up, “Come on lightweight.”

“No, I'm fine! No one gets drunk that fast.” I sit back on the couch handing her the empty flask.

“Uh- huh.” Howard isn’t convinced so he goes into the kitchen, he comes back with a pb & j handing it to me, “Eat this, please.”

“Fine.” I roll my eyes while taking the sandwich, “I’m not drunk, but I won’t ever say no to food.”

“So.” I don’t miss the look Darcy gives Howard as she sits back down.

“So?” I say taking a bite.

“What’s bothering your friend?”

“His girlfriend decided that she- oh you sneaky bitch.” I glare at her as she and Howard laugh at my slip up, “And I saw the look you gave him too!”

“You caught it but couldn’t process it fast enough, Y/N you’re not sober.” Howard chuckles as he continues, “Even though you knocked this back like water, I have to say I’m impressed. Not many can do that, just eat and hit the hay.”

“Okay dad.” I roll my eyes.

“Don’t call him that.” Darcy says in a serious tone, “Please, don’t.”

“S- sorry.”

“Told you I’m a ‘daddy’!”

“Oh my god.” Darcy sighs out rolling her eyes, “Howard. Shut up. Go make me a sandwich.”

“Ugh, fine.” Getting up he complains to the kitchen and while he’s making the sandwich, “Work work work, that’s all I do, but am I appreciated? No! Work me day and night to the bone, and for what? Some sex? Please!”

I look at the small group and they all share a knowing smile and laugh at his antics. Jane waves it off telling me not to play him any mind.

“So this is a normal occurrence?”

“Oh yeah.” Thor confirms smirking, “Y/N, I have to ask. Is this about Barry?”

“Uh…”

“Never mind.” He says, shaking his head, not pushing it any further. Nodding my head in thanks I try to stop a yawn that’s coming up.

“You should probably go to sleep, Y/N.” Jane says, looking at my face with slight concern.

“No no, I’m fffiii~~~*yawn*~~~ne. Not tired at all!” I have a dopey smile on my face as I look at her through blurry eyes.

“Go to bed kid.” Howard gives Darcy her sandwich and then tries to usher me to my room.

“But- but!”

“No ‘buts’, go to bed, you can play when the sun is up.” He opens my door pushing me inside and promptly closing it behind me. I can hear him snickering, I’m about to go back outside when I hear soft snores.

“What the fuck! Who’s in my room!” I panic and stop replaying the thought, “What’s with all the deja vu tonight?”

Looking at my bed I see Druig’s fallen asleep… on my bed, and it’s the cutest shit I’ve ever seen! He’s laying on his side, wrapped in my throw blanket and all I can see is from his eyes up, walking over, I kneel down in front of him and decide to watch him sleep.

Is that creepy? Yes, but I’m intoxicated so it’s fine.

Reaching over I brush some of his hair back and he stirs slightly, panicking I pull my hand away, seeing that I haven’t woken him up I turn to go sit in my desk chair.

“Where are you going?” His hand grabs mine, stopping me.

“Druig! Uh, you’re up! So- sorry, I didn’t mean-”

My rambling is cut short as he tugs me over to him, he scoots back towards the wall creating a small space for me. With wide eyes I look at him and then the space, he seems to be second guessing his silent request, but before he can say anything I lay down next to him on my back.

…Okay, so this still isn’t cheating, and even if we’ve never done this, it doesn’t mean anything. We’re just two friends, sharing a bed, in a completely platonic sense. I’ve had sleepovers before, I’ve shared a bed with my friends before… Sure they were all girls, but still!

Neither of us move as he stares at the side of my face, and I stare at the ceiling. My heart is beating loudly in my ears and I’m sure he can hear it. He shifts closer to me and I tense turning my face further from him.

“Sorry. I should go.” His voice is a bit raspy and he moves to get up.

“No, no it’s fine, there just isn’t a lot of room. That’s all.” I stop him from leaving and I can hear that annoying voice in the back of my head telling me to let him go. I ignore it because 1. He needs a friend, and 2. I’m THAT FRIEND!

“Are you sure?”

“Completely.”

“Have you lost your mind, Y/N?”

“Alright,” He lays back down and this time I turn to lay on my side so we’re facing each other. He looks around the room before saying, “Your friends are loud.”

“Yeah to be fair I met two of them today, so…”

“Hm.” He keeps avoiding my eyes and focuses on the blanket wrapped around him.

“You okay?”

Wishing I didn’t say anything, I can see that he’s struggling with telling me and not crying again; I don’t know what Sprite did to him, but when I see her I swear to-

“No, I’m not. I just don’t feel like I’m this perfect person Raffey makes me out to be, I feel like I have to be this ‘guy’ she likes instead of being me. I even cut back on drinking and smoking for her, but it’s like her standards for a man don't apply to her in any way. If I tell her to not go to parties, or drink as much I’m trying to boss her around or hold her back, and not let her be her own woman. I don’t think I can keep this up, but I don’t want to break up with her.”

“…How- how long has this been going on?”

“A while.”

“Why don’t you just break up with her then?”

“I love her.”

oh… o- Oh, okay. This- this is fine, utterly fine! He… he loves her. Yay!

“Y/N?”

“Uh- uh yeah, wow, that’s nice… When you say you love her, you mean…?” I ask trying to wrap my mind around this news, surely he can’t mean he’s IN love with her… Can he?

“I’m in love with her.”

Well FUCK ME WITH A CACTUS!

“W-wow, that’s really-…Are you sure?”

“…Yeh.”

“Well, I’m happy for you. You thought you’d never fall in love, look at you now. I’m happy for you.”

“You said that already.”

“What?”

“That you’re happy for me, you said it twice.”

“That’s because I’m really happy for you. Have you told her yet?”

“No.”

“Good.”

“What?”

“Huh? Nothing, nothing, maybe you should tell her.”

I have no idea why my mouth decided to say that last bit, but I hate myself for it.

“I know, but I just don’t want to talk about it, or think about it. Least for right now.” He pushes his face deeper into the pillow with tears rimming around his eyes.

“Okay. Okay, let’s get some sleep.” Getting up I feel him grab my arm again, “I have to turn the lamp off Druig.”

“Leave it on, please.”

“But I can’t sleep with the light on. Are you afraid of the dark?” I tease.

“No, I just don’t…” He never finishes his sentence and I know I’m not going to get him to, so I lay back down and pat his dark hair.

“Can’t believe you got rid of the blonde, it’s kinda weird.”

His eyes close at the patting and his brow creases when I stop, putting my hand back to his hair, I laugh as I comb through it, “Yeah, I hate it.”

“So why’d you do it?”

“Sprite thought it’d be funny to switch out my dye. I just haven’t been able to dye it back yet.”

“That little imp.” I mumble rolling my eyes, looking back at Druig he’s already staring at me, “Sorry.”

Not staying anything he turns to face the wall

- I’m not hurt.

Still facing the wall he grabs my hand and pulls me to his back. I basically became a big spoon as he curls in on himself

- I’m not hurt!

Barely relaxing and holding onto my sanity- if i even had any- I try to go to sleep. The keyword is try, and I’m failing. Ikaris doesn’t even do this with me, sure we cuddle, but never like this.

“Ikaris. I know that name… Oh SWEET FUCK THAT’S MY BOYFRIEND!” I quickly pull my arm out of Druig’s hold and scramble out of the bed. Startled, Druig turns to me.

“What?! What happened?”

“I just remembered something!”

“…What is it?”

“I… need to pee.”

“…Really?” He is visibly relaxing.

“Yup. Excuse me,” I walk to my bathroom and turn around quickly, “I’ll be right back. Don’t listen!” I rush inside, locking the door behind me and sliding down the door I try to breath.

I didn’t exactly forget I had a boyfriend, I know I do, but it didn’t hit me until now. It was like having a bucket of cold water dumped on me, thinking about how Druig reacted didn’t help either. In the grand scheme of things if either Sprite or Ikaris were to see that they’d flip their shit! And that makes total sense, why would I be cuddling with someone who isn’t my boyfriend?… Even if he is my friend. I need to seriously reevaluate my life. Getting up from the ground I flush the toilet, and open the door. Stepping into the room, Druig is sitting on the edge of my bed looking at his phone.

“Hey Druig, I need to tell you something-”

“Hang on, Sprite’s texting me.” He barely spares me a glance.

“…‘Kay.”

Letting out a sigh he gets up, “She wants me to pick her up. She wants to talk.”

“That’s- okay. Talk about what?”

“Don’t know, usually when someone says that it doesn’t end well.”

We stand around in awkward silence debating on what to do or say next. Clearing his throat he gives me a weak nod moving to the door, “I’ll just…go then?”

“Y-yeah you should. TO pick her up. You know.”

“Mhmm.”

I place a hand on his shoulder and squeeze it reassuringly, “You got this, just remember she’s probably drunk so don’t take it to heart.”

“And if she isn’t?”

“You always have me.” Smiling sincerely at him I realize how what I said sounds, “As a friend! A friend, you know, cuz I have a boyfriend and stuff.”

“Yeah, don’t remind me.” He scoffs.

“Sorry.” I give him a sad smile avoiding his eyes, he lifts my chin up to look at him and it’s like time stands still. No one says anything, no one moves; it’s quiet, calm, and intimate in a weird sort of way. His eyes are tired but he still smiles like nothings wrong, it feels like nothing can ruin this moment. Letting my chin go he gives me a hug, that I return wholeheartedly, he sighs pulling away just enough to look at me.

“Thanks for this. I really appreciate you- it… You and it. I appreciate you and it.” I chuckle at him nodding my head.

“Anytime Druig.”

Giving me one more smile he kisses my forehead, I feel my face heat up at the sudden action, and when he pulls back his face is just as shocked as mine. Laughing it off I push him to the door.

“Get out of here and go get your girl.”

“Y- yeah.” He blinks quickly, smiling, he opens the door and we’re met with eight pairs of eyes who seem very interested in this.

“I send her to bed alone and she comes out with a whole man.” Howard laughs out leaning back on the couch.

“Oh you must be her boyfriend.” Darcy stands up to shake his hand.

“Uh- oh oh, no nonononoo. No he- he’s- we’re just friends.” I wave my hands in front of my face and the look on her face is one I've seen from a lot of people. He looks at me then back at Darcy.

“Yeah we're just friends. I’m Barry, by the way. Oh, hey Howard.” His American accent sounds so weird to me now.

“Then if you’re just friends, why did you come out of her room in the middle of the night?”

“Darcy! Leave them alone, sorry about her, she likes to create problems for no reason.”

“Hey, I have a reason, my reason is curiosity. They aren’t dating but they sure are close. And before you say anything, I know friends can be close, but this seems a bit too close.” She scrutinizes us and I’m uncomfortable.

“Darcy.” Howard pleads, “Barry has a girlfriend, she’s that plucky small girl with short hair that likes to fool around with HER boyfriend.” Howard points at me, making my heart sink to my feet.

“What- Sorry uh what?” I close my eyes trying to decipher his words, “What do you mean ‘fool around with MY boyfriend’?”

“…Uuuuuuuhhhhh, nothing.” His eyes are wide as he looks at his feet.

“Howard, what do you know?” I take a threading step towards him, everyone stiffens at this and Druig places a hand on my arm.

“Calm down, Dote.” He stands next to me, glaring at Howard he loses the American accent, “She asked you a question, mate.”

“Whoa! What just happened? Did you hear that? He was American and now he’s Irish!” Darcy exclaims pointing at Druig.

“Darcy, now's not the time.” Jane whispers harshly at her.

“Howard, I suggest you start talking, while I’m asking nicely.” Druig’s voice is low and threatening, “Tell me what you know.”

Caving under the intensity of his stare he tells us how he’s seen Sprite run her hands through Ikaris’ hair, kiss his cheek- on multiple occasions, hold on to him like her life depended on it, get piggyback rides from him and the like. Sighing out I rub my forehead.

“Geez Howard, I’m sorry, you made it sound like they were having an affair.” I relax my posture chuckling a bit, I look at Druig and he’s still pissed, “What’s the matter? You didn’t know they were all buddy-buddy?”

“No, I knew.”

“Okay so why are you still mad?” He turns his dark gaze to me and my blood runs cold.

“Because I told her to stop.” The tension in the room is thick and I don’t know what to say, I don’t think there’s anything I can say to make this better. Opening my mouth he promptly says, “I have to go.”

Marching to the door like a man on a mission he leaves, but leaves his menacing aura behind. Jane is the first one to say anything,

“Well that was… interesting to say the least.”

“Yeah.” Howard shakes himself trying to get the uneasy feeling away from him.

“Damn girl, your boyfriend can be scary when he wants to be.” Darcy slaps my back.

“Ikaris? He isn’t scary.”

“I thought his name was Barry?”

“What no, Barry isn’t-”

“Nah his name is Druig.” Howard stands and start’s to stretch.

“Oh, well your boyfriend can be scary.”

“Druig isn’t my boyfriend.”

“…I’m so confused.” Darcy looks at Jane for help, she sighs and explains.

“Druig, aka Barry, is dating Sprite. Y/N is dating Ikaris aka Richard. Sprite is Y/N friend and she’s also close friends with Ikaris, but Druig and Ikaris hate each other for some reason.”

“OH! Okay that makes sense now.” Looking back at me she smiles, “Your wannabe boyfriend is scary.”

“He isn’t- you know what, forget it.” I throw my hands up defeated and go back to my room, “Good night everyone.”

Flicking the lamp off I plop onto my bed. Covering my face with my arm I can’t help the defeated sigh that comes from my lips, punching and kicking the mattress I stare into the darkness of my room.

“Loki was right.” Turning on my side I look towards the wall and it’s almost like Druig is here again, bearing his soul to me, showing me how much he truly trusts me. Scooting to his side I lay on my back, closing my eyes, and taking a deep breath I realize that I can smell him. Sitting up I pull the pillow up to my nose and smell his conditioner, smiling I put it back and cover myself with my blanket.

“Oh fuck this smells like him too.” I throw the blanket off, “…Don’t do it, Y/N. Leave the blanket where it is and change the pillowcase.”

…

So I took off the pillowcase and wrapped myself in the blanket- I was cold! And I don’t have another clean blanket! Of course that doesn’t excuse the fact that I’m imagining the blanket as Druig holding me close, making me feel safe and warm and like nothing in the world could harm me. It also doesn’t excuse the fact that my mind wanders to more… explicit content.

“Stop it Y/N, he is your friend and he’s also dating your friend!… But after what just happened maybe not…” Trailing my hand down I stop myself at the edge on my sweatpants, “No, no no no no no no! God, what’s the matter with you? What would Druig say if he knew you were doing this?!”

Actually… What would he say?

”Ha! Fucking knew it! As if you could resist all this!”

Hmm might be more of a

”Duh, I’ve known for a while.”

Maybe even

”Show me.”

WAIT, wait, wait slow your roll Y/N! He wouldn’t… Would he? Well, maybe not boyfriend Druig, but fuckboy Druig would definitely be down for that. Moving my hand into my sweats, I let out a gasp at the thought of Druig being here watching me. It’s like I can hear his voice in my head saying,

~“Fuck, Y/N, that’s how good I make you feel? I’m not even touching you…yet.”~

“Ah, shhhh~iiiiit!” I bring my free hand to my mouth to keep myself quiet, not realizing that I’m gripping the ‘Druig blanket’ up with it. Breathing in through my nose his scent invades my senses and I start to lose control when his voice chimes in my head again,

~”Look at you, barely hanging on just, and all from smelling a blanket, so pathetic. Imagine how you’d feel if I were there, hoverin’ over you, pounding into you over and over and over again.”~

I gasp for air again whispering into the darkness, “This- this is’t-”

~”This isn’t what, Y/N? Right? Was it right when you did it the first time or the second? Or when you brought Ikaris here to your room instead of me? Spare me your pitiful excuses. You should’ve been mine from the beginning and you know it, so don’t go and grow a conscience on me now!”~

My hand slows at his words, but I can’t bring myself to stop; not with his smell in the air,

~”Why are you slowing down? Did I say you could?”~

“N-no.”

~”Then?… There you go, just like that, don’t stop. Only if your friends could see you now.”~ His chuckle fills my head causing me to whimper, ~“All the sweet little sounds you’d try to keep quiet, only to scream my name out like a prayer. Is that what you want, Y/N? You want me to make you scream my name for all to hear?~

“Yes.”

~”Even Ikaris?~

A strangled gasp leaves me and I bite my lip trying not to make any sound. I can hear Jane and the others in the living and the last thing I need is for them to hear me.

~”Answer me!~

“Yes. Yes! Even Ikaris.”

~”Good girl, I suppose I should let you cum then, hm?~

“Pleeaase!”

~”Go ahead, Dote. Let go, with my name falling from your lips.~

“Ah fuck… Druig.” I feel myself tighten and my orgasm washes over me, my mouth opens as I struggle to breathe quietly, I feel my walls tighten when I hear the ‘Dote’ and my legs are shaking as I come down from my high. Not moving I stare into the darkness once more, and I feel like shit, “I can’t believe I just did that.”

Getting up I shuffle to the bathroom and clean myself up. Rinsing my face with some cold water I watch the droplets fall into the sink and my heart is heavy.

“I need to stop doing this!”

Marching myself back to my room I grab my laundry basket, taking the pillowcase and blanket I rush out of the dorm room to the laundry room. Since it’s so late- or early- no one's there, stuffing my clothes in I throw in the pillowcase, I almost hesitate with the blanket, but I get over myself pretty quickly. Putting the blanket in I see that the machine is pretty much at capacity.

“… Well, I don’t want to break their washer machine. I’ll just leave it in the basket. Yeah.” Tossing it in the basket I start the cycle and wait. I wish I brought my headphones to drown out Druig’s voice from my head,

~”Really, Y/N? You think washing is going to erase what you just did? It didn’t work the other times.”~ His snicker sends goosebumps to my arms and my nipples get hard.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me.” Looking up I see that I’m standing under the vent and the thermostat is set to 74, “Why didn’t I grab a sweater??”

Looking at the basket I can feel Druig’s ‘presence’ behind me. I know it’s all in my head, he isn’t there, but a part of him is. Picking up the blanket I glare at it like it did me wrong.

~”The blanket did nothing-”~

“I know, shut up! Fuck, man.” Rolling my eyes I wrap the blanket around myself and sit on the folding table and wait for the clothes to finish, “It’s not like I’m going to smell it again.”

~”….Mhmm.”~

“Shut up, you’re not even real.” I put my head in my hands, “Just a stupid part of my mind making you up- a dumb fantasy. I don’t need you.”

I wait for his voice to ring in my head again to tell me I’m the one that’s stupid, that I’m the made up one and he’s real, but the only sounds are from the washer. Sighing I sit up and lean against the wall and wait.

……

I shiver that the memory and Ikaris turns to me,

“Are you cold, love?”

“Hmm? Oh, a little yeah.”

“Here,” Reaching over he turns up the heat in the car, “That should warm you up.”

“Thanks.” I smile thankfully at him and go back to watching the Christmas lights on the houses. I can feel him glancing at me every now and again, and I know he knows something’s bothering me. He probably thinks I’m anxious about having dinner with my family and introducing him in person, but that’s not it at all.

I lied.

I lied about everything from I feel about Druig to how my love life is going. I thought that maybe because of being in a relationship for 2 ½years was supposed to mean that my feelings for Druig would die down, but it only seemed to stoke the fire more; there were some many times- I mean so many- that it seemed like Druig and I could’ve- would’ve just had sex with each other wherever we were. We never did anything, but ever since he had gone to pick Sprite up from that party, he turned back into his old self. He would flirt with certain people- myself included- dyed his hair half blonde again, and Sprite was fine with it. She even relaxed with how she was with Ikaris, and it felt like everything was going back to normal… You know minus the unspoken air between Druig and myself.

What I hadn’t expected was Ikaris pulling away from me; he wasn’t as touchy as he once was, he started ‘working later’, had too much homework, or he was too tired to do anything other than sleep. I was understanding at first until he was using my shower and his phone buzzed. I’m not one to snoop but I picked up his phone and saw that it was Sersi.

Answering the call, I was going to tell her that he was busy and he’ll call her later but she never gave me the chance,

``Ikaris, I have something to tell you… Please don’t get mad, but I think we should stop seeing each other. I know you said you love me, and for a time I loved you too, but I can’t keep up the lies. I don’t deserve that, you don’t and neither does Y/N. I want something real and I can’t have that with you, so I’m stopping this now. I hope you understand…``

All the air in my lungs was gone, my brain was fried and my emotions were so overwhelmed I felt dead inside.

``Ikaris?``

``Thanks.`` I don’t know how I was able to say anything so calmly.

``Y/N? I’m sorry I- I thought-``

``Call him again later.`` I hang up the phone and put it back on the bed, Ikaris comes out in a towel and I’m gathering some things to head out.

“Where are you going?” He asks confused sitting on my bed, he pulls me by my hips towards him.

“Out.” I cringe at the feeling of his hands on me knowing they’ve been on someone else, “Loki, needs a favor.”

“Can’t you do it later?”

“No. Get some sleep.” At that moment his phone starts to buzz again. He reaches for it too quickly for my taste and Sersi’s name is on the screen, “I’ll see you later.” Leaning down I kiss the top of his head to save face and walk out the door before I lose my mind.

Opting to take the stairs I run down them and out of the side door into the parking lot and to my car, my heart is beating fast, but I’m not crying just shaking slightly. Getting in I inhale and exhale slowly, getting out my phone I call Loki,

``Bast what a pleasant surprise I was just-``

``You were right- all of you were. Can I come over?``

``Uh- yes of course.``

Peeling out of the parking lot I drive to the Loki’s ‘hideout’- it’s just an old room in the theater building- ignoring the speed limit of 15 I make to the hideout in record time. Jumping out I run to their meeting room and slamming open the door they slightly jump at the loud sound.

“Bast.” Loki takes in my appearance watching me closely, “Are you alright?”

“Ha! Oh yeah, totally fine. More than fine, I’m fucking fabulous!” I smile brightly plopping on the old couch, the other Loki’s look at each other, then to me clearly uncomfortable and confused.

“You said that Loki was right. Right about what, exactly?” Old Man Loki leans on his knees with confusion.

“About Ikaris, duh.” I shrug while opening a game on my phone.

“Oh, so he is a douchebag.” Kid Loki confirms drinking from his juice box, “What else is new?”

“What’s new is that I just found out he was having an affair. Lol!” Laughing, I continue to play my game.

“Wait, he was actually cheating on you?” Theater Director Loki’s voice is a pitch higher than normal.

“He would.” Sylvie says plainly walking into the room with snacks.

“Oo! Snacks~!” I sit up reaching for the bowl of popcorn.

“Y/N are you sure you’re alright?” Loki asks one more time, “You seem to be handling this quite well.”

“Too well.” Old man Loki folds his arms squinting at me.

“Oh I’m fucking devastated, but the shock of it all is pretty strong, I have so much adrenaline right now, it’s taking everything in my power not to drop my phone right now I’m shaking so bad.”

“Want some ice cream?” Sylvie offers.

“Hmmm yes please.”

“Don’t spill any tea until I get back.” She says sternly walking to get more snacks.

“This place has everything.” I sit back on the couch and I’m met with silence and anticipating stares, “Guy’s relax, I'm not going to burst into tears- at least not right now. As long as I don’t think about it I’ll be fine. Seriously.” They somewhat relax in their seats but their stares are heavy. Shaking my head I look at Loki, “Babes please. I’m fine.”

“Okay I’m back with the ice cream!” Sylvie rushes back with five pints of ice cream, “Pick your poison, Basty.”

“Yyyyeeeeeeeessssssss~!” Grabbing a pint I hold it close to me, caressing it, “My precious~!”

“Alright, tea time.” She sits next to me digging into her ice cream, “How did you find out?”

“Answered- oh this is cold. Answered his phone.”

“Shut up! And you talked to whoever it was?”

“Yup!”

“Shut UP!”

“I’ve met her too.”

“SHUT UP!”

“I will not-” I take a big bite, “I know it’s so crazy.”

“Then what happened?”

“He came out of the shower and I told him I had to meet with Loki for a bit.”

“No, no, I mean what did she say?”

“OH, um she was saying something like she doesn’t want to keep having the affair and that even though he loves her she doesn’t feel the same anymore… uuuuummmmm she wants a stable relationship and he can’t give that to her… Mmmm good ice cream- and that she doesn’t deserve to feel like that and neither do we… Something like that?”

“Deserve to feel like what? Shit?” Old Man Loki snaps snatching a pint from the table, “She’s got some balls, I’ll say that much.”

“Who in their right mind thinks they’re the victim when they are obviously the problem?!” Theater Loki takes the pint from Old Man Loki angry, “I wasn’t this angry since my brother Thor was born.”

“You have a brother named Thor too?” I say choking on my ice cream, “What the hell?”

“Yeah this is one crazy family.” Sylvie smiles switching pints with me, “So even though we all told you he wasn’t good for you, how're you feeling?”

“It hasn’t quite hit me yet, but it’s getting there. But can I even get mad when you and a few others were telling me the same thing? I mean my friend Natasha even said he was bad news.”

“The Widow girl?” Loki questions.

“Um the what?”

“Never mind him. What’re you gonna do now?” Kid Loki has ice cream all over his face as he shows interest in my developing- crumbling- relationship.

“I don’t know. Break up with him?” I look around the room for an answer.

“Don’t look at us for the answer, it’s your relationship.” Theater Loki says, putting his hands up, “You are the one in the driver’s seat. Does he know that you know?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Good.” Old Man Loki says darkly, “We can use this to our advantage.”

“We- um I’m sorry… What? What WE?!” I put down my ice cream, staring at him with wide eyes.

“Well, you want him to pay don’t you?” Kid Loki asks, finally wiping his face.

“I mean I- I haven’t thought about it.”

“Y/N he hurt you, it’s okay to seek revenge.” Sylvie places her hand on my knee.

“Yeah but you guys make it seem like we’re gonna murder him or something!” I look around and when no one says anything I get up quickly, “ARE YOU TRYING TO MURDER HIM?!?!”

“Well~” Old Man starts.

“Would it be so bad?” Theater asks.

“I want to cut out his heart!” Kid shouts, putting his hand up.

“I’ll record it.” Sylvie leans back in her seat eating ice cream again, “Ooo you could even feed his heart to Croc Loki! I’m sure they’d appreciate it.”

“That’s a good idea!” Old Man and Theater nod their heads in excitement.

I look at Loki for help and he’s hanging his head in disappointment, sighing deeply he stands up,

“NO ONE IS KILLING HER…problem. This isn’t our fight or our problem, if she wants help she’ll ask for it. Alright?” The room is quiet as they watch Loki, “ALRIGHT?!”

“..yeah, alright…geez, we were only joking. -I wasn’t-… fine… Buzz kill.” Comes from the others as they begrudgingly let the issue go.

“Thank you, Loki.” I sit back down picking up my ice cream, but not feeling like eating any.

“So? What happens now?” Kid asks me.

“I really don’t know, I really thought we were good, but he started working late, having too much homework and the like, I just really thought everything was fine. I even stopped caring about Sersi’s perfume being on him.”

“Whoa he went to you with her perfume on? Oh bollocks he really-” Old Man stops himself trying not to get worked up again, “Why didn’t you tell him anything?”

“I did, but he always said I was worrying over nothing and that I needed to get a hold of my imagination. Which isn’t entirely wrong.”

“Clearly it wasn’t your imagination. Why did you let him walk all over you? That’s not like you, Bast.” Loki says anger in his features.

“I don’t know!” I feel a tear roll down my cheek, and the flood gates open, “Idon’tknowIdon’tknowIdon’tknowIdon’tknowIdon’tknowIdon’tknow!” By now I’m sobbing uncontrollably and I feel someone rubbing my back, my vision is blurry and I just let my body go slack as I’m now being held by Sylvie. After 26 minutes of ugly crying I wipe my face trying to calm down, “S- s- sorry.”

“Don’t apologize Y/N, this isn’t your fault.”

“Yeah, but I still feel like shit!”

“Understandable, you just found out your boyfriend was cheating on you.” Theater says handing me a box of tissues.

“Thanks; but that’s not why-” I blow my nose not hearing Sylvie’s question, “What?”

“Why do you say ‘that’s not why’?”

“Oh, I- um hmmm.” I clear my throat trying to find the right words.

“Oh my gods you were cheating on HIM?!” Loki seems to read my facial expression better than the others, “Oh my gods! BAST! Wha- I-… You know I have to say I did not see that coming.”

The others look at me for confirmation and my guilty face is all they needed.

“Y/N!! WHAT?! YOU- But! Whaaaahahahaha! I agree with Loki, I did NOT see that coming!”

“I’m a horrible person, I know!” I cover my eyes in shame.

“No, no no no no Y/N look at me.” Sylvie pulls my hands away from my face, “Ikaris is a dirtbag, a wanker and a twat! You already had your suspicions, you are completely validated. Give him a taste of his own medicine.”

“It still doesn’t feel right.”

“That’s because cheating is cheating. It’s still wrong Sylvie, stop confusing her.” Loki deadpans, “Who were you even seeing, Y/N?”

“Well, it wasn’t actually having a physical affair, it was more of an emotional one.”

“Oooooooohhhh.” Comes from the Loki’s, Kid tilts his head in question, “Who was that with then?”

“…”

“Y/N?” Old Man asks.

“…..” I bit my lip looking away.

“Y/N.” Loki tries to press the answer out of me.

“I know who it is.” Sylvie smirks at my wide eyes.

“Who is it?” Theater asks stuffing his face with popcorn engrossed by the drama.

“I’m not telling.” She replies, seeing the panic in my eyes.

“You don’t actually know do you?” Old Man accuses.

“No, I do, I spend quite a lot of time in the library as does Y/N.”

The room is quiet before the boys a yell,

“IT’S DRUIG!!!!??????”

“…yeah…” I hang my head.

“I FUCKING KNEW IT!” Kid shouts jumping up and down, “OW!”

“Language, young man.” Old Man smacks the back of his head, “You shouldn’t even be here, it’s way past your bedtime.”

“Whatever grandpa.” He sasses as he sits back in his chair grabbing another juice box.

“Youth these days- Anyway, it’s been Druig this whole time, hasn’t it?” Theater asks taking his seat.

“Yeah.”

“So why did you waste your time with Ikariass?” Sylvie turns to me clearly confused, “I’ve seen you and Druig in the library, you’re like two of the most smitten people I’ve ever seen.”

“He’s not smitten- not with me anyway.”

“Basty, I’m going to let you in on a little secret, Ikaris isn’t the only person cheating in their relationship.” She pops a piece of popcorn in her mouth.

“What do you mean?”

“Let’s just say that a person who has a bird's eye view sees a lot of shit that happens on this campus. How else is this campus getting safer? He sees everything and everyone, and he’s seen young Sprite with many a young men in less than ideal positions, with even less clothes.”

“She’s cheating on him?” I breathe out.

“Oh yeah.”

“It seems that some part of Druig knows this, hence why he doesn’t seem to care about flirting with some people now.”

“But, Sylvie, nothing is ever going to happen. He loves her- he’s IN love with HER. He told me himself.”

“Eh, all I’m saying is that the both of you need to get out of these toxic relationships before it’s too late and just get together already.”

“I- we can’t-”

“Trust me it’ll be better for the both of you.”

“HOW?”

“Being out of the relationship and hooking up doesn’t weigh as heavy as hooking up IN the current relationship. You are too good a person to just have a fling while you’re dating someone. It will eat you alive, but it’s up to you.”

“I can’t just- they are COUSINS! Do you know how weird that is?”

She shrugs her shoulders, not convinced by my reasoning, “Does that stop you from emotionally cheating?”

“I-”

“Alright, let’s not talk about this anymore. It’s getting late and Danvers is going to be patrolling the building soon.” Loki cuts in clearing our mess, “Whatever you choose to do, Bast we have your back, come on I’m sure Ikaris is getting worried.”

“For what?” I sass rolling my eyes. Standing up I stretch a bit and hug everyone goodbye, “Thanks again guys, I needed this. And… I’ll think about what you said Sylvie.”

…….

I never did think about what Sylvie said, I tried but every time I did I would just start crying all over again. Knowing that Sprite was messing around with other guys didn’t help our friendship either. I never called her out on it, but that didn’t stop me from making snarky and rude comments whenever she said she had ‘something to do’. Druig was getting annoyed and asked me what my problem was but I would lie and say that I was just having a day. He didn’t buy it, but he let it go; I would just stew in my anger and it wasn’t good for either of us. We’d go our separate ways and cool off.

I also noticed that on some of Ikaris’ clothes I could still smell Sersi’s perfume, when I would ask him if he saw her, he’d say,

“No, I haven’t seen her for a while, she’s been getting rides from someone else at work.”

“…okay.”

“You good?”

“Yeah! I’m gonna go to the library.”

“Alright.”

I knew they were still seeing each other but I didn’t have the energy to fight him on it. He’d just say I’m crazy and not in my right mind. He’s done it so many times, so ignoring it is just easier.

So why do I stay with him? That’s easy, it's because I love him, and he loves me. I know this because he told me- not that he loves me, but that I LOVE HIM! That’s rich right? But I do love him, just not how he thinks I do. And here we are driving to my aunt's house for Christmas dinner and Sprite and Druig will be there. It’s gonna be great!

Can’t wait!

Wooo.

———————————

Tag list: @aquanova99 @tompetersebbuckyhazleo @sokazuallycruel @treaclesquirrel

How was this guys? Please comment, like and reblog, Part 8 is almost done ❤️

#druig #eternals #fanfiction #college au #druig x reader #druig x you #playing with fire #angst #marvel #enemies to friends to lovers #ikaris #Ikaris x you #druig fic #mcu #Sersi #sprite #eternals series #part 7

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thelightofthingshopedfor · 3 years

Note

Check the Twitter account of the episodes writer. Apparently making them kiss on Lamentis was on the table for a bit. They’re definitely doing the romance thing :(

it still seems possible that they're misdirecting people on purpose, and I'll certainly be happier if they don't make it a romance, but...even if they do, I don't necessarily hate it? Mobius was being nasty about the whole thing but it's hard to say how much of that was sincere and how much was just part of breaking Loki down to get information out of him, so it seems very possible that it'll be framed differently in the last two episodes in a way that doesn't, you know, dump on Loki for beginning to develop a healthier self-image. it's also pretty clear that they are two very distinct people--they started out more or less the same, but that was a very long time ago, and I think it's telling both that Loki reaches out to her with an apology, honest admiration, and an attempt at comfort that he'd probably never think to offer himself, and that they're both adamant about being their own selves. (I very much do have feelings, for instance, about Loki snapping "Her name was Sylvie" at Mobius even when he thinks she's dead, because it's important to him that she's remembered as her own self.) I also think that if nothing else, it's more reasonable for this to have developed as quickly as it did than in a lot of onscreen romantic relationships (more than Jane/Thor, for instance, if I'm being totally honest), partly because they bonded over some pretty intense trauma but also because they're still similar enough that they can fundamentally get each other in a way that would have to take a lot longer for anyone else.

again, I'd very much prefer that it not be romantic. but a lot of the criticism I've seen is based on things that could still easily be fixed in the remaining episodes (the narcissism angle, mainly) or things that could happen but certainly aren't guaranteed. even if it is romantic, that doesn't have to mean that the romantic part is more important than the basic human (for lack of a better word) connection between two traumatized people or the recognition that they don't deserve to die alone. it also doesn't have to mean reducing Sylvie to The Female Love Interest--and for that matter, if she doesn't reciprocate the specific type of feelings Loki might have for her, it really...doesn't have to be another excuse to knock Loki down? we've seen more from him because he's the focus, but it's fairly obvious that she cares about him too (she was the one who initiated physical contact at the end of the world, and she asked if he was okay when they reunited) and recognizes the importance of their connection after so much time alone. that all still exists even if they aren't, like, the endgame pairing--it's still crucial for Loki to realize that he's not an awful person, he doesn't deserve to be alone (in any sense), and of course he's capable of caring about other people without dragging them down. like, those are important things for him to figure out about himself that aren't necessarily dependent on actually being in a romantic relationship.

and then of course there's the idea that Loki/Sylvie is a straight relationship that essentially ruins the point of Loki finally being revealed as queer, which...mm. I mean I get it, I do, it's Disney and they're super heteronormative so of course they're more likely to go for m/f relationships above anything else and that's not great, but...Loki is...very much still queer? he likes multiple genders! his queerness doesn't depend on his partner's gender! Sylvie is also apparently bi, given that Loki assumed they were the same that way and she didn't contradict him, so--sure, it's m/f but it's still queer because both of them are queer, and to imply otherwise is pretty biphobic even if it's understandable to be frustrated that Disney would choose the easier/safer route. it also doesn't hurt that they seem pretty evenly matched both mentally and physically, and he openly admires her, which is...not that common in onscreen relationships! and, yes, if they never go any further into the genderfluidity aspect it'll be an annoying cop-out, but that's...also still something that could happen in the last two episodes, especially because I didn't get the sense that Sylvie's nexus event was being about being a girl.

#loki #loki show #loki spoilers #sylvie #marvel cinematic universe #loki meta #my meta #biphobia #loki/sylvie #sylki #conversations #anonymous

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msoogabooga · 3 years

Text

Wasting Away (Tom Riddle x Reader)

Chp. I - A Sworn Enemy

Warnings- None

Word Count- 2146

Summary- You have singlehandedly decided that Tom Riddle is to be your sworn enemy until the end of time.

A/N- Hello! This is my first chaptered Tom Riddle fic. Hope you enjoy and tune in for more!

•••

Tom Riddle was the loneliest boy that had ever existed. You were certain of it whenever you witnessed him walk alone in the corridors or when he picked at his food in the great hall while everyone around him chattered amongst themselves, leaving him be. Ever so often you take a glance at his parchment paper in Defense Against the Dark Arts, where he sits next to you, and you catch him writing lines of beauty. Words that flow together and create great works of art. That is until he catches you staring and covers his paper with his arm, not before cursing under his breath at you of course.

Oh yes, though you felt a sense of pity for the lonely boy, you swore to hate him until the day he died. It wasn’t always this way, of course. You wouldn’t be so cruel as to hate an innocent peer. In fact, you even thought to befriend him of course. The unforgivable day happened outside on the castle grounds. It had been raining quite heavily that day. You ran through the downpour of the storm as your house scarf floated behind you and your mary janes began to stain from the wet dirt. You had finally reached the shelter of an arched corridor and began drying yourself with your scarf. A sudden clatter startled you as you turned your head towards the direction of the noise. The black-haired Slytherin boy was crouched on the ground picking up a bundle of textbooks and parchment papers he had dropped. He began to grow more frustrated when he realized they had become soaked from the seeping rainwater that came through the window. With a pitiful frown, you rushed over to help him.

“Better the books than yourself,” You said with a smile, acknowledging your rained-out state as you began to pick up pieces of parchment. “The storm came so suddenly. I hardly had any time to rush to safety and, well, this happened. I was playing Quidditch you see. It was a bit cloudy, sure, but not even the greatest prophecies could’ve predicted this storm. You’re quite lucky, though. You don’t seem to have a drop on you, except on your schoolwork of course.” Tom Riddle snatches the parchment from your hands so fast that it leaves you with a papercut on your hand. You wince and take your hand back before shooting him a glare.

“Do you mock me?” He spat.

“I was just trying to help,” you explained with a grumble in your voice. “You didn’t have to be so harsh.”

“What makes you think you are allowed to talk to me?” Tom picks up the rest of his items and stands up. You stood up right after.

“Well excuse me all high and mighty. I didn’t know I needed to sign a prerequisite form before daring to stand in your presence. As I said, I was just trying to be of some assistance.”

“I never asked for any assistance. You’re making me seem pitiful.”

“Or maybe, get this, I was just trying to be nice!”

Tom scoffs. “Nice? Yeah, alright.” He makes a sharp turn and begins walking in the opposite direction of yours.

“What is wrong with you?” You shout. “I don’t even know who you are!”

Tom stops. He began walking towards you once more. You take a step back, unsure of what caused him to turn around. “Of course you don’t. I don’t expect you to. But I know everything I need to know about you. You’re the type of person to befriend a lonely kid because you feel it’s your moral obligation. Because you think that this will help boost your popularity points. Don’t think I don’t see right through you. I see the way your friends whisper and giggle at me in the corridors. You may not think I hear it but I do. So if you think you’re going to make a fool out of me for your own benefit then you’re clearly mistaken. So you can go back to your friends and tell them all about our interaction because I know you will. Now, goodbye.”

He walked away before you even had a chance to respond. You wanted to clarify. To say that you don’t approve of your friends gossiping. That you genuinely meant to help him out. But your saltiness took over and you only replied with, “AT LEAST I HAVE FRIENDS.”

You were unsure if he heard you or not because he had already disappeared from view. But you were satisfied. You knew who he was, obviously. That part was a lie. Tom Riddle was quite infamous for his knowledge in Defense Against the Dark Arts and is an acclaimed member of the Slug Club as well as yourself. You had even made eye contact with him a few times while you had dinner with Slughorn and the rest of the Slug Club. But you never expected this innocently kind looking boy to be so cruel at your act of kindness. You didn’t know much about him but you did know one thing: Tom Riddle was now your sworn enemy.

This is made extremely evident at his increasing side glare while you two sit together in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Not by choice, of course. Assigned seating was never more painful than this moment right here. Still, the most you can do is glare back while everyone silently reads. You open your textbook as a way to distract yourself and flip to the unit you are currently on. Iguanas, iguanas, iguanas. Though you are puzzled as to how they were linked to dark magic, you took down notes anyway. You follow the pattern of dipping your quill in ink and writing line after line. All while you feel the hot glare of Tom’s eyes on the back of your neck. The bell signifying the end of class rings and you take a sigh of relief. Enthusiastically to get out of there, you begin gathering your materials, scooping your textbook in your arms all at once. Tom clears his throat quite obnoxiously enough to gain your attention.

“You miswrote something.” Tom states. You shoot him a dazzled look. “In your notes. I couldn’t help but look at your sorry excuse for parchment paper. It just reeked of misinformation. Sure enough, you wrote down that iguanas were omnivores when they are in fact herbivores.”

“Since when do you care so much about iguanas?” You ask, raising your eyebrow at him. “And why do you even care about what I write in the first place?”

“Well, one, I don’t. And two, I would just rather not be sitting next to the girl who got low marks on the iguanas exam. It would be quite embarrassing to witness.”

“Oh go suck an egg,” You retaliate. Tom Riddle scoffs and leaves without responding to your comment and your best friend, Wendy Slinkhard, replaces him.

You had met Wendy in the Slug Club. She was top of the Ravenclaw class, earning high marks that introduced her into the Slughorn's group. The first thing you noticed about her was the way her doe-eyes lit up every time someone mentioned writing. It was all she ever talked about. Her grand aspiration to become a famous author in the wizarding world. She had quite a euphonious voice when describing her life, casually mentioning the fact that she is indeed muggleborn and unafraid of any criticism. How her entire family is made up of writers and she is thrilled to follow the legacy. She had the most elegant way of describing things you had ever seen, almost like works of poetry roll off her tongue. When you ask how she comes up with these unique words she just responds with, The wizarding world seems to give a great muse to the imagination. Whatever that means, you are unsure, but it seems important enough.

“Well hello there,” Wendy says in her wispy voice. “Seems you have quite a charmer for a partner.” She looks over to Tom Riddle who has just left the room.

“Right.” You reply, getting ready to leave alongside Wendy. “It’s like nails on a chalkboard every time he speaks. I’m telling you, Wendy. You couldn’t bear sitting next to him for an hour.”

“Oh, I am sure of it. I’m not sure if I feel too keen about my partner as well. He is, to put it shortly, not quite attentive. Constantly asking me for notes or an extra quill, it’s quite annoying really! But overall, nothing compared to who you have to deal with. Tom Riddle. I always knew there was something off about that lad. Merlin knows why Professor Slughorn chose him of all pupils for the Slug Club.”

“Well he is exceptional at the Dark Arts, I’ll give him that. He has such a crude way of showing it as well. Constantly showing me up. Making me seem as inferior in knowledge as opposed to himself. A real nightmare.”

“Well, if it means anything to you, nothing good can ever come from being exceptional at the Dark Arts.” Wendy gives a slim smile and nods.

You and Wendy walk alongside each other on your way to your next class. Coincidentally, both of your classes are right next to each other. Though you really do miss having her in the same class. You speak to no one in History of Magic. You just sit alone with your face in your hands, hearing your professor go on and on about some troll war you don’t care too much about. Your quill picks up every once in a while to jot down scribbles of information. Something, something... Troll War. Not the most exciting subject if you were to be honest. But it sure beats suffering another hour with Tom Riddle constantly pointing out every minor flaw in your notes. Something about your professor’s voice sends you into a bit of a drowsy state. The way his words flowed so slowly and sterile. Slowly bringing you closer and closer into a…

“Wow. You look bloody awful.” You jolt awake at the sound of Dahlia Ferdinand looking down on you. She is dressed in her Hufflepuff Quidditch jumper and stands with arms crossed and a smirk spread across her face. You lift your head from the desk and detach a piece of parchment that had stuck on your face.

“How long has class been over?” You ask groggily.

“For about an hour, give or take.”

“She’s joking!” Wendy calls out, running into the room and standing beside Dahlia. She adjusts her giant red glasses and flattens her skirt. “Only a few minutes. No need to be so childish, Dahlia.”

“Oh come on. You never appreciate any of my jokes.”

“Dahlia, you know I hate your immature remarks. They are plain and unfunny.”

Dahlia rolls her eyes. “You must be real fun at parties.”

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been invited to one.”

“Don’t worry. We can tell.”

You let out a snicker before covering it up with a cough. Wendy, seeing right through you, shoots you a glare before adjusting her glasses once more.

“Speaking of parties…” Dahlia continues, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a green envelope. “Marcella Rosier invited me to the Slytherin common room party tomorrow night. From what I gather it’s going to be a grand event. Her uncle supposedly is bringing in firewhisky from Hog’s Head. Naturally, I expect you two to come with me.”

“Firewhisky, Dahlia?!” Wendy interjects before you can respond. “You know that is very much against the school rules. Not only that but against the law as well. And don’t even get me started on the policy of dorm-hopping in the middle of the night. I don’t even trust that Rosier girl to begin with. I’ve heard a load of terrible things involving her. Why are you even friends with such a person?”

“You know, Wendy, you sound like nails on a chalkboard sometimes. A simple no could do. What about you?” Dahlia responds, now addresses you.

“Oh,” You say suddenly. “Well if you’re going then I guess I’ll go as well.”

“So will I,” Wendy adds on, much to both you and Dahlia’s surprise. “Only to drag Dahlia out and scold her when she gets carried away with the firewhisky which I know she will.”

Wendy and Dahlia glare at each other and you cough. “I promise you, Wendy, that I will keep Dahlia outside range of the firewhisky.”

Wendy nods, satisfied. The three of you go your separate ways. You head straight to your dormitory, ignoring all work assigned for this weekend and your rude encounters with Tom Riddle. You raid your closet and begin the hunt for an acceptable outfit to wear to the biggest party of the semester.

#harry potter #tom riddle #tom riddle fanfiction #tom riddle fic #tom riddle x reader #tom riddle fluff #tom riddle x y/n #tom riddle angst #tom riddle x you

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kiarcheo · 3 years

Text

A Whole New World 8/10

Jane and Kat find out there is more to each other…and to the new world they have found themselves in.

Read on Ao3 too

——————————————–

‘You really shouldn’t have,’ Jane says after licking her fingers.

‘You have been talking about craving rocky road since you tried it.’ Kat picks up a piece herself. ‘I know it’s not the same because I went for the quick and easy version but...’ she nudges the plate towards her cousin. ‘Consider it a thank you for the other day.’

FLASHBACK

‘Did you stay up all night again?’ Catalina doesn’t sound happy with Kat. Not upset, but more...exasperated? Frustrated?

‘She was with me,’ Jane interjects. ‘I couldn’t sleep and she kept me company.’

‘Are you having nightmares again?' Catalina softens. ‘Kat, that was very nice of you. But drinking all that coffee is not good for you.’

As Catalina leaves the kitchen, followed by Anne, who shoots them a curious look, Jane turns to Kat expectantly.

‘They are worse than usual,’ the young girl admits.

‘So you’re trying not to sleep at all?’ Jane eyes all the cups in the sink.

Kat grimaces. She knows it’s not the most brilliant idea she had ever had, but the nightmares lately had gotten so bad that she would do anything to avoid them.

‘Is it because of what happened the other day?’

Kat shrugs. She can only assume so. In the grand scheme of things it had not even been that bad. And Jane and their other friends had immediately stepped in. She had told them she was fine, and she had been truthful. It didn’t stop her from going on and having fun with them, and it will not stop her from going out with them again. Still…

‘I wish I could do more.’

‘You did enough.’ Kat gives her a look, and they both fall silent, thinking about what had happened.

‘If you hadn’t stopped me, I would have done more.’

‘And end up in jail,’ Kat points out. She was touched and absolutely grateful. But...yeah. ‘Trust me. You did enough. Both then and now.’

‘Still think you could tell them.’ Jane points with her head towards the door.

‘Still don’t want to do that.’

END FLASHBACK

‘No need to thank me. Any time, really.’

‘Jane, you really spoil her!’

‘As long as she shares, I don’t mind,’ Anne joins in, snatching up a chunk. ‘Great job, Jane!’

‘Great job, Jane,’ Kat sarcastically parrots once they are alone again.

‘Sorry.’

Kat waves the apology off. She is annoyed but it’s not Jane’s fault if the others assume than anything done around the house is Jane’s doing. But she can’t be bothered to tell them otherwise, especially about cooking. Because she can cook. She does. But the thought of cooking for others stresses her out. Better to have them believe she can’t so she won’t be asked to cook for the household.

‘What are you looking for today?’ the employee at the toy store greets them as she comes around with some boxes to shelve and sees them. ‘Something in particular? Recommendations?’

They are what you could call regulars at the shop. Visiting almost weekly, they had developed a friendly relationship with the girl. At first it had been clear that she was judging them, albeit silently, when, after serving them a couple of times, she had realised that the toys purchased were not for children. But all it took had been Kat mentioning that she never had a childhood and that they were making up for lost time to have the girl softening and offering them advice and suggestions.

‘We were looking for something summer-y?’ Jane looks around. ‘To take advantage of the warm weather?’

They have plenty of indoor games, the space under their beds being taken over by boxes, from a chess and checkers set to Connect Four, from Battleship to Guess Who, from card games like Uno and Dobble to Snakes and Ladders and Hungry Hippos. They could always take them out and play them outside, of course. But perhaps there is something more...seasonal? There is only so much soap bubbles they can blow…

‘What about water guns?’

‘Water guns?’

‘Yes,’ the girl leads them in front of a clearly summer-themed display, ‘you fill them with water and then shoot at each other.’

They exchange a look, eyes shining. They do like playing with water.

‘So it’s like a garden game, right?’ She can’t imagine doing it inside the house.

‘Some people play with them in parks too. As long as you’re away from others...so that innocent bystanders don’t get soaked in the crossfire.’

They purchase a couple of medium-sized ones, not wanting to carry around some of the bigger...and truly monstrous ones. Then they immediately set off to their favourite park. It’s not a particularly frequented one, and there is an area quite out of the way that they had used when learning how to skate.

Luckily for them there aren’t many people around, helped by the late afternoon hour and overcast and muggy weather, so they are free to run around and drench each other to their hearts’ content. They are so involved in the game that they don’t notice as clouds get darker and darker and suddenly rain is soaking them to the bone, even the last few bits that they had managed to keep dry during their water fight.

‘Well, at least we don’t have to explain why we’re coming home wet,’ Kat comments as they trudge back.

‘We didn’t think it through,’ Jane agrees.

‘When do we ever?’ Kat jokes.

As they stand by the door, Kat turns to her cousin, key in hand. ‘How do I look?’

‘Like a drowned cat.’

She glares at Jane unimpressed.

‘What? I thought it was very…punny.’

Jane is saved from Kat's response as the door opens and Catalina yells, ‘Anna, get some towels!’ before turning to them. ‘You poor things. You are absolutely drenched. You got caught in the rain?’

‘Obviously.’ Anne joins her. ‘I don’t think towels will do much.’ She sizes them up. ‘Take off your shoes and then straight to the shower,’ she instructs Kat.

‘A hot one!’ she calls after her. ‘You don’t want to get a cold.’

‘You can use ours,’ Catalina tells Jane seeing that Kat is heading for their shared bathroom.

‘Jane!’ Anna calls her when she emerges from her shower, fresh and changed. She goes to the living room to find Kat sitting on the floor in front of Anne, who is braiding her hair. Surprisingly, everyone else is sitting around too.

‘We were thinking about ordering take out and watch something all together,’ Catalina informs her, ‘what do you think?’

She looks at Kat, who has a peaceful expression on her face and smiles at her when she feels Jane’s eyes on her. They had talked about it more than once...that while it’s annoying most of the time, sometimes it’s nice being fussed over. Jane guesses this is one of those occasions.

‘As long as it’s not another French movie.’

Anne gasps in mock offense. ‘What’s wrong with French movies?!’

‘Don’t tar them all with the same brush,’ Anne starts nodding along what Catalina is saying, ‘it’s not on French cinematography as a whole if Anne has poor taste.’

‘Ehi!’ the second queen protests. ‘Maybe it’s you who have no taste.’

‘I can pick one,’ Anna tries to cut the debate short, knowing it could last until the food is there.

‘No. It’s my turn to choose. And I bet I can find one you will like.’

‘What do we get if you lose?’

‘Well?’ Anne asks as the credits roll.

‘It was good,’ Catalina reluctantly concedes.

‘So you admit you were wrong?’

Catalina rolls her eyes. Leave it to Anne to rub it in and not be satisfied until she says it aloud.

‘Only the pope is infallible.’

‘And even that is questionable.’

Everyone turns to look at Kat, who had not realised she had said that aloud. ‘What?’

‘No religion talk!’ Anna exclaims before their relaxed movie night can dissolve into theological discussions.

‘I enjoyed the movie too,’ Jane joins the effort to preserve their peaceful evening. ‘I don’t really get why you would do that to yourself, though.’

‘It’s like salt and vinegar crisps.’

They stare at Kat, stumped.

‘Uh?’

‘They burn your mouth, but they are so good that you keep eating them even if they hurt you.’

Used to Kat’s sometimes weird thought process, Jane reaches out to pat her head with affected condescendence, her cousin promptly swatting the hand away.

‘Aren’t you full of wisdom today?’

‘Aren’t you full of s–’

‘KATHERINE!’

#jane and kat #six the musical #six the musical fanfiction #six fanfiction #fic: a whole new world #six jane seymour #six katherine howard #six fanfic #six the musical fic #six writing #six the musical fanfic #six fic #mywork #my ideas #my six posts #my posts #sixfic

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ot3-watch · 3 years

Text

Episode 5: The Mile High Job

WHY IS THIS EPISODE 8

FUCK THE NETWORK I’M VERY TIRED

So we’re starting on a client testimony. Which is sad because I kind of like the context establishing scenes

Sophie being French is hilarious

I’m not saying Hardison shouldn’t be able to take off when he needs to. I am saying that MAYBE THEY SHOULD PLAN HEISTS FOR DAYS WHEN THEY ARE A MEMBER SHORT?

Also, why does Hardison not put his food on a plate before he puts it in the microwave. That spinning plate does not get washed nearly enough for that to be sanitary

OK wait did Hardison just flake out? THEN WHY DID THEY NOT POSTPONE?

THEY SHOULD HAVE PLANNED THIS MUCH BETTER

I love Parker being magic and teleporting

The security guards always seem like idiots and tbh, working where I work with the security guards being who they are, I feel like it’s all bullshit and a disservice to security guards.

I love the Doctor WHo references. TOM AND SARAH JANE BAKER YES MA’AM

But also did no one make a Doctor Who comment? Like really. I know Tom Baker is probably a common name but I really want to know what happens when they get a whovian checking their IDs

THe poor flight attendant. That sucks. Can you imagine getting a COMPLETELY fake call that your cat might be put down? I’m sorry, I can’t. Completely innocent people get screwed by them sometimes and I feel bad

Eliot remembers everyone he’s slept with I love him.

THIS POOR FLIGHT ATTENDANT? WHat happens when she comes back and everyone is side eyeing her and being bitchy?

I hate the trope of girlfriends or love interests being overly sensitive about people remembering tiny details. Especially when they aren’t actually together. Especially when it happened years ago. Especially when they hold it against them for the whole episode.

SOME PEOPLE HAVE TERRIBLE MEMORIES OK

Also, this is Nate. It’s a shock he has any brain cells left with how drunk he is 99% of the time. Get OVER yourself Sophie.

PLACE YOUR MASK OVER YOUR MOUTH AND NOSE ok Leverage predicting the future…

Parker being a terrible flight attendant is hilarious

Did I like her in this episode? I think I liked her in this episode

Eliot suffering through economy I can’t

I feel bad for the woman, but like… stop pushing? I know she’s nervous but the flight attendant is trying to do her job. I mean, it’s Parker, but in any normal situation…

Hardison pulls the same “You’re such a racist” bit every time he gets in a sticky situation, and it always works? Can you imagine if he tried to pull that on an actual racist?

Do planes have bars like that? I’ve been on plenty of planes and i’ve never seen a bar like that

Im never in first class though so whatever

OKAY GUYS THE IN-FLIGHT MOVIE IS ONE OF THE LIBRARIANS MOVIES

Which means noah wyle exists in the leverage universe.

HOW IS THAT GOING TO WORK WITH THE REBOOT THOUGH?

Unless they just… expected no one to notice? To be fair, it’s not like they focused on it

They probably just needed a movie they could use without securing rights first or running into copyright issues

But still… paradoxes

Eliot just going through a bunch of random people's bags…

HE AND PARKER MOVING AROUND EACH OTHER SO COMFORTABLY THOUGH

THIS IS SEASON ONE WHY ARE THEY SO GOOD TOGETHER ALREADY

I LOVE THEM GUYS

Parker. That’s not reassuring Parker. Parker that’s just terrifying. WHY WOULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT PARKER?? pARKER?? i’M CONCERNED PARKER!

I really hate Sophie getting mad at nate for this shit. It’s not funny. It’s not cute. It just makes Sophie seem unreasonable and bitchy

OK BUT Hardison and the woman bonding IMMEDIATELY over nerdy gaming is so great

Also i like that they made the other nerd a woman is great

OK but he is not talking nearly silently enough for the ONLY other person in the room to just stop listening to him?

Could you imagine the person you were talking to randomly stops talking, looks upset, and then sticks his head in the cabinet? And starts muttering to himself?

LIKE EITHER HE CAN’T TELL REALITY FROM FANTASY OR HES A SPY

WHY ARE YOU NOT SUSPICIOUS??

He really does pull this shit off really well.

The amount of men in that conference room is oppressive and very realistic ina very sad way

Parker must be in a thief’s paradise

OKAY I REMEMBER NOW AND I DID LIKE PARKER IN THIS EPISODE

“Nobody tells me anything”

THAT’S SUCH A MOOD

Literally the job I’m working in right now is exactly like that

My job is literally to know things and help people and provide them with the information they need

AND STILL I’M ONE OF THE LAST TO FIND THINGS OUT

IT’S VERY FRUSTRATING OK

WHy can I not remember why they’re going after genegrow? Someone died I think? But i cannot remember

“The guy in 1D wants to kill you. Ginger Ale?”

Why is it that all i can think about right now is harry styles and niall horan

I mean I KNOW why but like… why

I LOVE them but why?

WHAT IS THIS OFFICE WOMAN’S NAME I LOVE HER

How does no one question Hardison showing up out of nowhere though?

Im just saying… supposedly it’s “Dave’s” birthday, and they think they should have already known about it? He just started that job on that day?

Unless he’s pretending to have been there forever but even then…

This makes no sense? I’m so confused?

Eliot beating a guy up in an airport bathroom is fantastic

But also you can’t fit one person in a airport bathroom, let alone two

THe view from the top is much smaller than the shots from the side

Parker: the guy we just took out? Eliot: -_- Parker: The guy Eliot just took out?

Sophie always seems so shocked by the inhumanity of some of these people they interact with. Nate’s like “Yeah, people are awful” and Eliot’s like “I see worse all the time” and Parker’s like “Is this meant to be weird or something?” but Sophie’s like “WHAt? Someone wants people DEAD? And might KILL US IN THE PROCESS?”

Is the art theft world just not so violent?

Even hardison doesn’t seem shocked, just upset and offended. Sophie’s always like OoO though and it gets weird?

Now both Eliot AND Nate are fitting in the bathroom? With an already unconscious guy? I’VE BEEN IN AIRPLANE BATHROOMS. THEY AREN’T BIG ENOUGH FOR THAT.

Unless i’m just fat. Which is an option.

Why do people have random wires in their luggage? Who travels with a giant bundle of wires in their luggage?

Oh look. The red head was right. There is a tailwind

OK But THE OXYGEN MASKS CAME DOWN AND NO ONE IS TRYING TO PUT ONE ON?

I know they’re panicking but still

Nate really does just throw things at hardison and then Hardison goes like WHAT I CAN’T DO THIS and then he does it.

HOW is Hardison THAT talented it’s ridiculous

WE all talk about Eliot being hyper-competent in everything when Hardison is literally right there

Not to say that eliot doesn’t deserve attention because he does and I love him

I LOVE ELIOT OKAY

I’m just saying Hardison deserves more credit

HOW DID THEY NOT HIT ANY CARS WHEN THEY WERE LANDING? THERE ARE CARS RIGHT THERE? ANd then there’s suddenly no cars in font of them when they land ? It’s all deserted?

HARDISON IS SO GOOD THOUGH

How did they set up a party for “Dave” so quickly?

WHY DOES NO ONE LOOK TO SEE WHO DAVE WAS YELLING AT?

Everyone is so done with Hardison and honestly? Fair. He might’ve saved them, but he also screwed them over earlier. It came in handy, but still.

I really could not give less of a shit about the Nate Sophie storyline in this episode. In most of season one really. It’s all shitty and annoying

FINAL THOUGHTS: 8/10. Points off for people not acting like people. Points off for the shitty Sophie/Nate stuff. Extra points for Eliot being Eliot. (There will always be extra points for Eliot being Eliot). Extra points for Hardison’s badassery. Extra points because I liked Parker in this episode. Extra points for nerd girl. You go nerd girl. Points off because I literally remember nothing about this episode except for Hardison being awesome, the office scenes, and the fact that there was a plane crash. Why were they on the plane? No idea. Can’t remember.

Sam count: 3/5

IYS count: 2/5 (Am I remembering this wrong? I felt like there were more? Then again, I’m only 5 episodes in)

#leverage #leverage ot3 #leverage rewatch #eliot spencer #parker #alec hardison #nathan ford #sophie devereaux #episode 5 #the mile high job #rewatch #ot3

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slashingdisneypasta · 3 years

Note

Hi! If you don't mind could you write me some headcanons about being bff with some female cp's? Like Jane, Nina, Clockwork, Nurse Ann...?

One of my best friends is called one of these names so it was odd to write XD Some headcanon’s were totally true about her as well, and some definitely were n o t. XD

Anyway I’m not sure how comprehensive this is since I just kinda spewed it all out so, uh… I hope you like them! 😅

~~~

Clockwork:

· Natalie stays at your house all the time and eats all your food. Girl has a FAST metabolism so you cannot tell, but she eats e v e r y t h i n g.

· She doesn’t even have a key to your home, you just come home from everyday activities and she’s slumped in your couch cushions watching TV and there’s a pool on your bathroom floor from her shower and- oh, she has also ordered pizza so get your wallet out.

· You just squint/glare at her before flopping on the couch beside her. She hands you the remote and gets comfier by you.

· Even when you have a romantic interest over, she is there at your house, comfortable on the couch playing games on your phone as you walk your ‘friend’ to your room.

· It’s not all frustrating though, she’s always there to protect you. There have been multiple burglaries that she has intercepted and ‘taken care of’. She’s honestly like a guard dog who also has an excellent sense of humour.

· And don’t think she just wants you around for your apartment and money. Nay nayyyyyy nay. She tells you all about the Creepypasta drama and what’s going on at the mansion, even though you aren’t apart of that life.

· And she calls when she’s away. Just calls up to talk to you.

· You two are the kind of friends that don’t need to talk to each other all the time. In fact, you agree that talking to people all the time is annoying and too much trouble, and you could totally go without each other for days (Weeks even) if either of you were busy! But… without either of you even realising, you always end up contacting each other in one way or another every day, anyway. Its easy with you two. No romantic relationship could compare.

· She was the groom and you were the bride in your make-believe weddings and mums and dads games as kids.

· On Toby: “Okay Nat, I like Toby but I hope you know, if he hurts you… well there is absolutely nothing I can do to wreak revenge on your behalf, as he is a duo hatchet wielding psychopath, except maybe give him a stink eye. … When he is looking away and therefore cannot see the stink eye.”

· More on the Toby subject: Clockwork once took you to Slender Mansion (Cuz you were targeted by a botched victim of hers because she cares about you and she wanted you close by to keep you safe until she could, like, finish killing the guy and all. Whatever though, no biggie. Pft, At least that’s how she made it out to be.) and she had to leave you for a moment so she handcuffed you and Toby together because he’s the only one she could trust to watch you.

· It was very awkward for the two of you, but definitely a bonding experience. You were both very happy to see Clocky come back though.

· HORROR. The world of horror is your favourite genre together. Supernatural horror, slashers, basement dwellers, vampires, werewolves, the blob, stalkers, murderers, psychological horror, black and white, colour, movies, tv shows, books- whatever. You two get so excited to experience new fictional horror.

Jane The Killer:

· If you’re into boys, let me tell you right away- Jane is very critical of their actions. She was at a very influential time in her life (Especially concerning boys and girls and romance) when she met Jeff and Liu. She met those boys, thought ‘Oh, they’re cute. Maybe budding crush?’, and then Jeff killed her family, burnt down her home and ruined her life and Liu became an asshole, and now the male species has been, sorta… tainted. She knows there are good ones (In fact, m a n y boys are lovely, of course.), but one’s that you’re in romantic cahoots with are always going to be under her very watchful eye anyway so she doesn’t really bother to hold back her fear (Which translates into dislike… or hate) with them. So if you have boy problems, be careful. Provided you like this/these guy/s, at least. If you don’t like them, then she’s the perfect person to go to!

· If you are a boy, then- of course, none of this applies to you. She loves you. Don’t worry. You’re her best friend!

· Girls are an entirely different situation though of course. Jane drinks that love women juice every single day.

· Jane is really good with altering clothes, so she’s the one you go to when you need help hemming something or taking something in. She likes to do it, too. Quality best friend time while not being lazy.

· Speaking of her hating to be lazy… This does not apply at night. Nighttime is a whole other ballgame. Its bedtime by 7 for her if you don’t lock her into plans a week in advance. If she is braless and in her P.J’s, you will not be able to peel her from her home. Except for snacks, but even if she goes to the grocery store, she’s not getting changed and she’s going to wear her bunny slippers.

· You two watch so many cartoons together. Gravity Falls, Star Vs The Forces of Evil, Over The Garden Hedge, Villainous, Looney Tunes, Ducktales, etc. Any and all that you can get your hands on.

· You two are prepared to get platonically married, for any reason. Like, you need to stay in the country? Married; You’re staying. You’re the only one who can testify against hr in the court of law? Married, so by law you don’t have to. One of you accidentally planted yourselves with a kid and (Cuz you’re ride or die for each other, obviously), you’re gonna parent the child together and cuz of religious beliefs one of your would feel better about raising them together with a wedding band? Married.

· Jane doesn’t drink, so when/if you get drunk she’s always there to keep you safe.

· Jane also gets friend-jealous, a lot. Like, that bitch just called you her best friend, Y/N. Is she your best friend? I thought I was. So who is it, Y/N? Me or her? HM? (She is prepared to turn up to wherever you and this person are hanging, all glamorous and cool as she is, and show off. Prove she’s a way better friend then this new person so they back off).

· When you were little, she was the bride and you were the groom in your wedding/marriage/mums and dads games.

Nina The Killer:

· You have known her for both your entire lives and there have been iffy, and dark times but through hell and high water you have stuck with her. You love her. She’s your girl, you are her person too. You will be with her, and protect her from anything.

· You are the only one in the world that loves her, really. You may not quite understand her weirdness, but you stick with her anyway because you love her.

· Just like- baseline of your friendship is being ride or die for each other.

· You were also really into Jeff, but at a more… healthy? Level? Like, you were still romantically interested in a real-life murderer, but you wouldn’t have done anything about it. You wouldn’t hurt anyone (Except to protect others) or victim blame, or contact the victims (Dear God) or whatever, but you would take peaks at fanfiction and gab with Nina about it. I mean, it’s not grand, but in comparison to Nina, hah… you were harmless.

· Now though, that you’ve met him and he is the reason your bets friend is so hurt and broken, you are not the fondest of him. I mean, you still have a place in your heart for the version of him you and Nina made up in your heads (The version that Nina still believes is real) but that isn’t the real him. Jeff Woods is an ass. You need to keep your friend safe from him.

· And uh… so nowadays… occasionally, you will find out where Jeff is (You keep an ear out) and, you know, just… lie your ass off to Nina. Yep. You tell her you heard that he’s in the opposite direction than he is so that she’ll unknowingly put more distance between him and her.

· Yes. It’s a lie, but… its for the greater good! It’s for Nina’s mental health and physical safety.

· Anyway, moving on to lighter things.

· In your make believe mums and dads/’grown up’ games that you would play together as kids, you were a single parent and she was the dog.

· She will lie for you in an instant. She’s also really good at it.

· You walked into a room once and saw she was drawing something, and it turned out to be your joint tombstone. She has not let this go- you will be buried in the same plot together, if it is the last thing she does. This is slightly concerning, but… also kind of cute. You can roll with it.

· “What if I get married or have kids?”

· “They will need to apply with me to join. There will be an interview process.”

· ‘What about pets?”

· “Oh, they can come in! No fee!”

· Do not underestimate her weight. If she doesn’t want you to leave, she will hold onto your leg and go deadweight, and you will s t r u g g l e.

· Nina talks to herself, but she acts like the person she’s talking to is another person, inside her mind. You both know its not, but you refer to the other girl as Agnes anyway. Super casual.

· Follows you when you go on dates (At least the first one with someone)to make sure all goes well and texts you rapid fire when she smells something fishy. Even the smallest thing.

· You two really love dystopian teen fiction. Divergent? Matched? Hunger Games? Maze Runner? Ugles? Alllllll. You consume them and then watch the movies/tv shows too.

Nurse Ann:

· Live-in medical services! This means you can get really cheap life insurance and not worry about it to much.

· And on the topic of insurance… Ann is super smart, and organised, and just really awesome at practical stuff like that. Insurance, bills, mortgages, any kind of forms and receipts. And she’s happy to sit down and help you go through it- and, as we all know, everything is better when it’s with a friend you feel comfortable with.

· You can tell Ann anything and she’ll just roll with it. No judgment. Either she takes it and lets you talk about it or she just acknowledges it and moves on.

· Like Jane, Ann has very little patience for boy problems. In fact, she has zero time for it. Boys? Girls? No thank you. So if you’re into boys, I have some bad news for you.

· Best friend maintenance. Occasionally, Ann will over work herself (with murder) and you will need to guide her to relaxation. Gently persuade her to sit down at the dinner table and just make idle chit chat with her every now and then as you make her a good, hearty meal (Or as good as you can do XD Anything between Beefy stew and a Cheese toastie will work fine, don’t worry. She’s not picky at all), and then watch some movies with her. No phones, no knitting, no drawing, no… whatever. No other activities except TV watching! She needs to rest. I’m always shocked at how relaxing just sitting and watching TV can be. There’s a big difference between doing that and multitasking.

· Ann will call you to pretend there’s an emergency if you want to get out of social engagement.

· A thing that two enjoy together is science fiction. Star Trek (Including the animation), The War of Worlds, the world of Star Wars, Dune, a Handmaids Tail, The 100, Eureka, etc. She loves the brainy stuff.

· Ann is the logical friend, who tries to give the most practical advice and make pros and con lists and everything. And then you go ahead and do the crazy thing, the thing she said definitely would not work and would probably make things worse, and she just face palms and says she’s never getting mixed up in your mess again. … Until the next time, when she totally does.

· “I love you Y/N, but I am not about to walk into a police office and bail you out of jail so do not do that.”

· You trap her into resting by painting her nails (Hands and feet) in her sleep right before her alarm is about to go off so she has to take the morning SLOW or the paint will mess up. She just wakes up, you hold up a sign in front of her face that says ‘NAILS’ and she stops immediately. “You bitch.”

· As kids, of course, the two of you would play make-believe family games and you were both mums (/ or you were the dad). She was the working mum and you were forced to stay home take care the baby (large container of vitamins with a face drawn on).

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night-unfurls-its-splendour · 3 years

Text

The Critique of Manners Part IV

~Or~

A Very Amused Review of Emma (1972)

One doesn’t really know where to begin with this one. I’ve watched a few of these 70’s/80’s period drama adaptations, but I’ve never written a review for one. I think the tricky thing is it doesn’t feel fair to judge them against more recent adaptations because the approach and quality are so very different to modern television making.

But people do. I’m sure it’s different for people who grew up watching these, who are just used to them and their objectively terrible, stagey quality and can look past that particular weakness on the sheer power of nostalgia.

So I’m going to try and find a middle-ground here where I ignore the stagey and obviously dated aspects and judge it primarily on its value as an adaptation – is it faithful to the book?

Let’s dive in.

Cast & Characterization

Normally I would start with Emma and Knightley but this time I’m gonna switch it up a bit and do them last because… well we’ll get there in a bit.

Let’s start instead with Mr. Woodhouse. I have to say, I kind of like this take. The 1996-7 and 2009 adaptations all kind of went for the same type of older man: a bit stout, or in Michael Gambon’s case… however you would describe Michael Gambon. With Donald Eccles, however, this version goes for a rather more frail looking Mr. Woodhouse; in fact to compare him to any recent Mr. Woodhouse, I suppose he comes closest to Bill Nighy (although the general characterization is of course very different.) He’s a ridiculous but lovable soul who seems always, of course, worried about his own health and comfort, but in his own selfish way, concerned for his friends and family as well. My only complaint is that maybe they over-utilized him.

I thought the casting of a plump Mrs. Weston (Ellen Dryden) was an interesting choice, and definitely different from other versions. Her acting was actually really good too.

I wasn’t quite so pleased with the characterization of Mr. Weston, on the other hand. I have huge issues with this script vis-à-vis the men, but Mr. Weston and Knightley in particular. The problem with Mr. Weston is how he’s written as just verging on uncouth at some points. There are way too many rustic contractions here: “Ain’t I looking well too, Miss Emma?!’ “’Ark at that eh? The sly young rogue!” “Oh I think it looks tolerably gay and festive, don’t it?” and then just throwing himself back on the grass and chortling when Emma makes her fateful Box Hill faux pas? Like, what the hell? I’m not saying he shouldn’t use a few casual contractions (“How d’you do?” for example) but he seems almost like a positive country bumpkin and I don’t think it’s appropriate; he doesn’t talk like that in the book and I’m just all-around not here for it.

Constance Chapman, a well-respected character actress of the time was cast as Miss Bates, while Molly Sugden, of Are You Being Served? fame was WASTED in the bit-part of Mrs. Goddard. If you ask me, they should have swapped this casting, since I think Sugden, an outstanding comedienne, could have done so much more with the Miss Bates role than the usual wittery-old-lady style chattering Chapman delivered.

Mr. Elton was played by Timothy Peters (Right) and was, eh, adequate. They did slime him up a bit by having him over-eagerly offer to fix Emma’s bootlace, which she points out isn’t entirely appropriate for a man to do, especially the vicar and it’s pretty funny; but other than that, he has all the appearance of being a pleasant young man, as Mr. Elton should – becoming less pleasant as the story progresses.

One John Alkin (left) played Mr. Robert Martin, and he, too, was adequate. There’s not much of him and, since Mr. Martin wasn’t one of those characters this version decided to approach more three-dimensionally, there’s not much to say about him.

Frank Churchill is… OMG IT’S PRINCE HARRY FROM BLACKADDER!

Ahem. Yes, Robert East (BETTER KNOWN AS PRINCE HARRY FROM BLACKADDER) plays a very agreeable (and smarmy, but not too smarmy) Frank. I think honestly this is as good as this part could get in the 70’s, although at 29 he was a little too old for the part.

John and Isabella, in an interesting (?) casting choice, were played by brother and sister duo, Yves and Belinda Tighe. I actually really liked Yves’s John Knightley (he’s actually one of the more handsome John’s, in a 70’s kind of way; for note-taking purposes I have nicknamed him “Not-Harrison-Ford”), but his sister as Isabella seemed kind of old and had just a really annoying voice. Also she doesn’t look at all like Doran Godwin, and Emma and Isabella are supposed to look somewhat alike.

The real casting stand out for me in this version is Fiona Walker as Mrs. Elton, although she too was a little old for her role, I’ve said before that there are no bad Mrs. Eltons (only bad accents) and she just absolutely nailed the insufferable chatter to a definitive standard (until the recent adaptations – 2009 onward).

I did however, get the feeling in this version that they kind of wrote in a through-line where Mrs. Elton is putting the moves on Mr. Knightley (to the point where they actually wrote out Mr. Elton from scenes he should be in) which was one of those unnecessary deviations which made me raise an eyebrow and also was just… weird.

Now my question is – why do all of the young women in this series kind of look like evil dolls?

Debbie Bowen, from a strictly book accuracy perspective is one of the most accurate Harriet Smiths I’ve seen – in fact we don’t get another this accurate (to my way of thinking) until Louise Dylan in 2009, who fits roughly the same model (fair and shapely). Its Bowen’s acting I don’t like, but I know that in the 70’s, this kind of simpering acting for this kind of character was just unavoidable. It was the style at the time, so I’m cutting her a break critically; but the performance just doesn’t cut it for me.

This Jane Fairfax (played by Ania Marson) is not my favorite interpretation of this character. At first I thought she was going to be alright, but in her first scene she bursts out and actually shouts in frustration at her chattering aunt (which she has some basis for, I’ll admit, since Miss Bates, in her muddle-headed way, could very well have unwittingly spilled the beans about Jane and Frank) but this is far more feeling than we should even have a hint of from Jane at this point. The whole reason Emma doesn’t like Jane (other than the fact that Emma is an attention whore and Jane steals her thunder by being so admired and accomplished) is because she’s timid and demure and reserved.

But the biggest problem I have with this Jane is that she can’t even fucking sing. I know they write it away as her having a sore throat (Which I think is a pull from a different part of the book?) but this was just egregiously bad to me. This is the only time in the series they show Jane singing so it’s never actually established that Jane really is more accomplished than Emma (although they don’t show Emma herself singing or even playing at all either.) Could the actresses just not sing well so they decided to write around it? You could have dubbed it; you had that technology in the 70’s!

OK. Now it’s time to talk about Doran Godwin. I’ve never seen her in anything else so I don’t know if it’s just that she can’t act, but I have no idea what she was going for with this portrayal of Emma, and this is something so consistent and unique to her that I, for once, can’t justify blaming it solely on the director because you can’t direct crazy-eyes. They just happen; and they happen A LOT in this series.

I’ve struggled to find the words to sufficiently describe my feeling about Doran Godwin’s facial expressions and her acting in this adaptation. In my ribbon rating notes I think I describe her as a “witchy automaton”? I stand by it. Every time she talks to someone her eyes go very wide and she sort of looks like she’s trying to hypnotize everyone in Highbury. The effect is just absolutely inhuman. I never thought I’d ever see anyone with more patently crazed Crazy-Eyes than Timothy “Crazy-Eyes” Dalton – but man, Doran “Hypno-Witch” Godwin just stole the prize. Perhaps she escaped from the set of a Doctor Who? telling of the story where Miss Woodhouse has been replaced by an android.

You have scenes such as this in episode 2 , where Harriet is trying to get Emma to acknowledge Mr. Elton calling after them as they walk past the vicarage, and Emma ignores her by mechanically continuing to talk, looking straight ahead with laser focus. Of course, Emma is intentionally ignoring Harriet because she wants Mr. Elton to follow them, but that wasn’t quite apparent to me until the end of her ramble – which I had assumed she was forced to complete due to some directive in her programming. I have more to say on her characterization, but we’ll get to that in a dedicated section of the review.

John Carson might actually be one of the better Knightley’s, but I’m sorry – at 45 he was just too old. This is something you can play around with in other characters (Mr. Weston and Miss Bates after all, have no stated ages in the book) but not only do we know how old Mr. Knightley is in the book, they state in the show that Emma is 21 (Doran Godwin was actually 28) and that Mr. Knightley is sixteen years older than her – 37 or 38 – and John Carson is CLEARLY no 38. This obviously-over-forty appearance does have an effect on how I view his banter with Emma, and it’s more avuncular than the older-brother feel that Mr. Knightley and Emma should have.

Whether by direction or actor’s choice, Carson’s Mr. Knightley speaks in a way that just doesn’t feel period to me. He has a very sort of 20th Century, stock British, hearty-good-fellow manner, that dates this adaptation pretty badly and feels old-fashioned (but not in a Regency/Georgian way) even in the 70’s.

Sets & Surroundings

Normally at this point in the review I would talk about the British manor houses and estates used and how they measure up to the book descriptions but the publicly funded BBC ran on a much tighter budget in the 70’s (apparent in the production values and number of obviously bad takes that they just decided to leave in, in everything they made) and as such they couldn’t afford to film in and rent out large estates quite as much, so this has the trademark 70’s/80’s BBC sound-stage quality of all of their other productions of the period. That said, this production actually has some of the better sets I’ve seen and that’s saying something, for being made in the 70’s. The walls didn’t actually shake when doors were closed, and it didn’t feel as stagey as some other Austen serials of the time. (This doesn’t improve the very “on-cue” acting in the series, but I have to give credit where it’s due.) I believe they may used a real manor house for the exterior of Hartfield (and not a landscape pastel) and maybe some of the interiors too? I can’t say for sure, and I would love to tell you what house and where it is but I can’t find any credits on it. I’ll just say that I think it’s very suitable and leave it at that.

Costumes

Much like today, the BBC almost exclusively used, re-used and rented costumes for their period productions. Almost every costume in this series was also used in the 70’s and 80’s BBC productions of Sense and Sensibility, Mansfield Park, and Pride and Prejudice (P&P being the overwhelming common denominator – almost every one of Emma’s evening dresses and pelisses was seen, primarily on Caroline Bingley.) Some of the shawls have been picked out in BBC Austens as recently as 2008.

For being made in the 70’s the costumes in this production are really kind of nice. They don’t date themselves too badly. The ones that do feel 70’s retro, in fact, were mostly styles borrowed from period accurate fashions that just happened to coincide with contemporary 70’s tastes, and which aren’t often used in Regency costumes today because, well they don’t coincide with our modern tastes. For the most part, they look well-made (although some of them do have that stiff, dingy polyester look to them and there are definitely some plastic pearls here and there).

I’m quite pleased with the silhouettes which don’t suffer from Square Bust/Boob Droop syndrome the way the 1980 P&P does. All of the assets seem to be lifted and shifted in the right places.

Daywear

I like Emma’s blue day dress the best of all her day-wear looks. It’s a rich color and has pleated cups (Also on her white day dress) which is a style I really love.

Emma wears the gauzy… let’s be kind and say ivory instead of “Yellowish” ruff during the day A LOT (Emma Pic 2). It’s a popular look on Jane Fairfax too (Jane Pic 2) and I just… I don’t like it. Not that it’s not period appropriate (because it unfortunately is) it just makes them look like Dr. Seuss characters to me, especially worn with short sleeves which is something these dramas do a lot and I hate it. It just makes the person in question look very awkwardly disproportionate to me, especially because. if they had long sleeves to go with it (which would be more correct from a historical authenticity standpoint) it would even it out so much better. Compare Jane and Emma to see what I mean. The single layer ruffle (Emma Pic 1) is much more agreeable to me. (I wanna point out that Jane wears the same green dress without any partlet or undersleeves for strawberry picking at Donwell, which is blatant Eveningwear-For-Daywear™ and looked really out of place since everyone else was wearing day-appropriate attire).

Emma’s wider, cuffed, long sleeves and Mrs. Elton’s puffy segmented Renaissance sleeves are exactly what I mean about period accurate styles that suit the 70’s in a way that they just don’t jive today. Even Harriet gets some.

Mrs. Elton Orange ™ is another crayon color Crayola should consider I think.

Harriet gets stuck with a lot of brown outer wear but her day clothes are otherwise pretty nice. I especially like the ivory and blue number (Bottom right) and her white day dress with blue accents (Top right) which I think is the nicest thing she wears in this whole series.

Evening Wear

Emma’s evening wear confines itself pretty exclusively to cool purples and blues except for her white ball gown. I find this interesting because other versions tend to dress Emma in warmer colors and pinks (As I’m very partial to purples and blues, I love all of them). I can’t say it’s inconsistent with Emma’s cold characterization in this version. Mrs. Weston’s evening gowns are uniformly amazing. I especially love her blue party dress, which is my favorite in the series.

Both of Harriet’s party dresses are characteristically pretty and girlish. The pink is a bit fussy for me but I love the blue one (which has a lot more detail but I couldn’t get a full length shot of it.)

I’m pleased that Jane is given a bit of a break from the Jane Fairfax Blue ™ trope with her evening wear. She has one light blue evening gown and gets a few green numbers, most notable being her mint ball gown. Her beige party dress is absolutely tragic though.

Mrs. Elton’s evening color seems to be chartreuse (Which I think was also the case in the ITV version? ITV fans back me up.) Her black overlay/spiky number is iconic of the Austen Bad Girl, but her ball gown is a bit disappointing in its simplicity to me.

I would love to have seen a full length shot of Isabella’s black and purple number because I have a suspicion THAT would have been my favorite but I just can’t make out enough detail on it.

Zig-zag patterns on the skirt are a huge theme in this version, which is so of the period. Mrs. Cole (shout out to another future Are You Being Served? familiar, Hilda Fenemore) looks straight out of a fashion plate in her dark green party dress, which has (drumroll please…) a padded hem!

Outerwear

This version has SO MANY PELISSES AND REDINGOTES. Are they all nice? No. No they are not; I particularly hate Emma’s fugly salmon number that she wears for Strawberry picking/Box Hill. Mostly because she looks SO over-dressed compared to everyone else who’s wearing loose fitting light clothes (except Jane, who’s wearing an evening dress). Just looking at her makes me hot. I’m also NOT a huge fan of her pink winter cloak. The one trimmed with… faux ermine? One can only assume. It looks awfully tacky.

That russet pelisse tho! This is one of my all-time favorites. It’s SO. PRETTY and so detailed (See this number on Jane in P&P ’80). I think her gray fur-trimmed pelisse is pretty fabulous too, but I do not like the hat she wears with it. The brim is kind of a funky shape to me.

I know I’ve criticized brown before, but I do like it in moderation and this version is astonishingly brown-free for being made in the 70’s, so I really like her red/brown velvet spencer, especially with the cream dress and gloves, and her hat has some amazing decoration.

Jane and Mrs. Weston are the only other characters who get pelisses/redingotes. I’m not a fan of Mrs. Weston’s fuchsia number, and while I like Jane’s, it does put itself solidly in the Jane Fairfax Blue™ category.

Harriet gets pretty much only one form of outer-wear, her brown school cloak (a different brown school cloak from the one in the ‘97 version, in case you were wondering) and while it’s pretty dull, it’s hardly unexpected. Here it is paired with her rather ugly blue bonnet, with yellow ribbon. The bonnet features heavily in this episode.

To be honest for the most part I totally forgot about the…

because a lot of it is very standard. No dandy standouts here, but overall it’s pretty okay and I’m really pleased to say that there are no bib-cravats. That’s not usually so much a problem in Regency Era stuff (Since ruffles were going out at around this time), but you can really distinctly see that the ruffles (where ruffles there are – usually on older men which is good) are part of the shirt and distinctly separate from the cravat. Also there are LOTS of high collars and they’re not comically high to the point where they get wrinkled, like they were in Emma. (2020), so points for that also. These are the screencaps I gathered going back over it for posterity.

Mr. Knightley doesn’t really get a lot of cool outfits. His best is his purple velvet evening jacket which somehow manages to not look ostentatious (but is his only dress jacket), and his gold-topped Prussian boots (which you should just be able to see bottom right.) The worst though… I’m sorry, (looks up costumer’s name) Joan Ellacott – do you really expect me to feel the weight of Emma’s cock-ups when Mr. Knightley is rebuking her in such a cartoonishly proportioned top hat? It’s like being scolded by the Mad Hatter. All of the men’s hats are pretty flared in this series too, and I’m not totally sure but, I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that flared top hats are not right for this period?

I think Mr. Weston only has one day outfit (which, in keeping with his characterization is pretty farmer-chic) and one evening outfit. Frank’s dark green day-jacket is a pretty standard look on him and I don’t think we get a fresh look until his fabulous blue jacket/yellow waistcoat combo that he wears for Strawberry Picking/Box Hill. I believe his evening jacket is also dark green but it was tough to tell. Again I think he has only one set of evening-wear. I would expect Frank to have more, since he’s such a dandy.

Mr. John Knightley doesn’t have much to write home about in terms of evening kit, but DAYUM, his blue traveling coat is DOOOOOPE.

Let’s Talk Script

This adaptation was directed by John Glenister and Dramatized by Denis Constanduros.

Now I’ve seen a lot of positive reviews for this on IMDB calling it the… let’s see here… “The best Emma I’ve ever seen” and “The most true to the novel”… *Takes off spectacles and sighs heavily* I’m afraid I have to disagree. Several people also really love Doran Godwin’s Emma (We’ve already gone over why I don’t, and I have also seen reviews that name her and her lack of charisma as the main sticking point preventing them from really enjoying it, so I’m not alone). I’ve also heard it described as “sensitively handled” “Intimate” and “The most faithful to the spirit of Austen” and so forth, and again maybe it’s that prejudice against the stagey production and… no there’s definitely some other reason I have a problem with this version.

Let me make this clear – I don’t totally hate it, and I’m not here to shame the people who really love this version. Once again – if this version gives you what you want from the story I think that’s great for you. I, myself, like it pretty well and I think it’s one of the better early BBC Austen serials. It’s certainly not boring; but I do want to go over some of the changes that were made and choices in the script.

Some of them aren’t really that egregious, but they’re annoying in that I think they didn’t need to be made and don’t really add anything. Characters being added to scenes where they didn’t need to be and written out of scenes where their presence was missed. Like writing Mr. Elton out of Box Hill (And really the whole second half of the series, to facilitate Mrs. Elton flirting with Knightley), and adding Miss Bates into the after-dinner scene, I think at the Randalls Christmas party? I’m sure this was done for expediency but you have six episodes. It’s not as though you’re strapped for time.

Particularly praised, as far as I’ve seen, is the scene at Christmas when Knightley and Emma make up after their argument over Harriet. It takes place in the nursery, which I suppose isn’t an unreasonable place for Emma to be fawning over her niece (in the dramatization she seems to have been feeding the baby, where in the book she is playing with her). The book doesn’t specify where the scene takes place, although I assumed it to be a downstairs room, and I’m not sure that it’s entirely appropriate for Emma and a man (even one connected to her family through marriage) to be alone in an upstairs room together with the door closed and no more chaperone than a baby. But in spite of this, perhaps inappropriate, level of privacy, the scene feels less intimate to me than the book, where in the course of the conversation, where Mr. Knightley takes the baby from Emma “in the manner of perfect amity” and holds her himself and it is very adorable and sweet. In the dramatization, Knightley sort of just stands next to Emma’s chair and leans down a bit. After this conversation in the book, John comes into the room to talk to George, while in the show Emma puts the baby in the cradle and they leave the room to go downstairs.

But there are more outstanding changes that just feel wrong to me. When confronting Emma about her meddling in Harriet’s response to Mr. Martin’s proposal, Constanduros changes “What is the foolish girl about?” to “What is the stupid girl about?” it’s not that big a change, but it makes Mr. Knightley sound unnecessarily mean.

I’ve already mentioned the, er, additions regarding Mr. Weston’s dialogue and Mrs. Elton, and Jane shouting at Miss Bates; but by far the biggest, worst additions were made with Emma. The worst, I think, is the handling of this scene in Episode 4 when Harriet is feeling heartsick following Mr. Elton’s marriage.

And for those of you who don’t wanna follow the link, here’s a transcription:

Emma: Now Harriet! Your allowing yourself to become so upset over Mr. Elton’s marriage is the strongest possible reproach you could make to me!

Harriet: Miss Woodhouse –

Emma: Yes it is! You could not more constantly remind me of the mistake I made, which is most hurtful!

Harriet: Oh Miss Woodhouse, it was not intended to be!

Emma: I have not said “think and talk less of Mr. Elton” for my sake, Harriet, because it is for yours I wish it. My being hurt is a very… secondary consideration, but please, please Harriet, do learn to exert a little more self-discipline in this matter.

Harriet: {Looks down} Yes, Miss Woodhouse.

Emma: We are all creatures of feeling; we all suffer disappointments, it is how we learn to suffer them that forms our character. If you continue in this way, Harriet, I shall think you wanting in true friendship for me!

Harriet: Oh, Miss Woodhouse! You, who are the best friend I’ve ever had? Oh what a horrid, horrid wretch I’ve been!”

Emma: Oh now Harriet – (She’s gonna console her now, right?)

Harriet: Oh yes, I have, I have!

Emma: Harriet, control yourself! (ha ha bitch, u thought) Now, you will tie your bonnet, and you are coming with me to call on Mr. And Mrs. Elton at the Vicarage…

Harriet: Oh, Miss Woodhouse –

Emma: Yes you are! And I’m sure you will find it far less distressing than you think.

Harriet: Oh, Miss Woodhouse, must I?

Emma: Yes, Harriet; but you may borrow my lace ruff if you wish.

Harriet: Oh may I, Miss Woodhouse? Oh, thank you!

(Look how evil she looks! She looks like she’s planning on baking Harriet into a pie!)

While this scene is in the book and much of the dialogue is also from the book, it’s the lines that were added that stick out to me. Emma does tell Harriet that her allowing herself to become upset over the Eltons is a reproach on Emma more than anything else and reminds her miserably of the “Mistake [Emma] fell into” but from this point, the script takes a left turn from the firm but kind appeal to Harriet to move on for both her happiness and Emma’s own comfort, to a far more manipulative strain.

Even after Harriet apologizes, she goes from simply appealing to Harriet to let herself move on, to basically telling her that she’s a bad friend. She treats Harriet like she’s unreasonable for feeling this way, where in the book Emma is very understanding and feels that “she could not do too much for her; that Harriet had every right to all her ingenuity and patience…” and only after Harriet goes all afternoon with Emma soothing her and no improvement in her spirits does Emma take any kind of reproachful tack whatsoever.

In this scene, Emma says that her own happiness is a secondary consideration (this is stressed much more in the book) but from the way she says it, it seems more like she just wants Harriet to shut up about it rather than actually meaning it. (This is a very prominent example of Emma’s not seeming to really like Harriet at all in this version, only tolerating her presence.)

AND THEN she does something which Emma in the book most certainly did NOT do and forces Harriet to come with her to visit the Eltons, as if to put her on the spot and test how good a little friend she will be. I can’t express how disgusted I am by the changes and interpretation here. This is the culmination of the general through-line of Emma’s manipulative characterization being taken to an extreme. She looms over Harriet sounding, by turns, like a school marm and a saccharine nanny. She’s like a (very) low budget version of Tilda Swinton as the White Witch in The Chronicles of Narnia.

My question about all of these changes is simply: Why? They don’t improve the story or the characters. They’re not big, but a lot of them just strike me as weird and unnecessary, but I guess there’s no accounting for artistic license.

Final Thoughts

So is it a faithful adaptation? I often find this a more complex question to answer for myself than one would think, since inflection and line delivery and even, at some points, intention behind what the characters say tends to be up to the interpretation of the person reading the book.

Is the dialogue faithful? Other than the many changes I’ve mentioned (and the numerous cuts and edits I didn’t – and besides no screenplay can be 100% faithful), for the most part yes.

Are the characters accurate to description / faithful in their portrayal – again this tends to be subjective and opinions vary. In my opinion, Emma is not. I’ve mentioned that Knightley is too old, and Emma not only seems more intentionally manipulative than I believe she’s meant to be, and also just does not seem 21. She acts and looks like a much older woman, especially when preaching at Harriet) but she’s also very gawky, and Emma is supposed to look very healthy and glowing.

So my book accuracy rating meets in the middle at a 4.5. It’s NOT the most faithful adaptation I’ve seen, nor is it the most fun or the most intimate, but it’s not totally a travesty either and there are good things in it, even with a robot witch playing the main lead.

Ribbon Rating: Tolerable (43 Ribbons )

Tone: 4

Casting: 5 (Witchy automaton Doran Goodwin plays opposite avuncular good-fellow John Carson. Fiona Walker stands out as Mrs. Elton.)

Acting: 5 (Doran Goodwin is by turns crazed and mechanical with some momentary touches of what might be actual emotion. Raymond Adamson way over-acts Mr. Weston as a hobbeldy-hoi, verging on uncouth.)

Scripting: 4

Pacing: 4

Cinematography: 4 (A bump up from the usual 1 or 2 for TV dramas of the time. Surprisingly less stagey than expected.)

Sets and Settings: 5

Costumes: 7 (Very clearly of the 70’s but drawing on perfectly accurate styles that jived well with contemporary taste)

Music: 1 (Plinky, poorly played piano music. Only used for intro and outro I think? Jane Fairfax can neither play nor sing.)

Book Accuracy: 5 (They changed a lot of small details. Lines are changed unnecessarily (Calling Harriet “Stupid” rather than “Foolish” – Why?) Mrs. Elton seems to have a thing for Knightley? People present when they shouldn’t be, others absent when they should be present, again without any apparent reason.)

#jane austen emma #jane austen #regency #period drama #costume drama #emma 1972

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schrijverr · 3 years

Text

What Your Heart Says

When they’re hunting a spirit that targets kids after they’ve fought with their moms, Sam realizes why he could have been a target and all Dean has done for him.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: suicide mention.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam and Dean were working a case. Three children had dropped dead, all bruised necks, all inexpiable.So, the Winchesters had rolled into town and started asking around.

They had made their way to a party in the neighborhood under the pretense that they were new in town. The parents were split, with the dads talking around the barbecue and the moms sitting and talking around the picnic table. Dean said: “Dude, the only thing that’ll make this okay if I get to talk to the hot moms.”

“You are terrible, but sure,” Sam rolled his eyes, “Remember, we have a kid, but he’s with his grandparents.”

“Yeah, yeah, and his name is Bobby,” Dean said, “I know.”

Then he was off to the table, politely introducing himself: “Hi, I’m Dean. My partner, Sam, and I are new here and we thought we’d introduce ourselves.”

The women introduced themselves as well and looked over at Sam, who was introducing himself to the men and asking around there. Linda asked: “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about the game with the boys?”

“Nah, Sam has always been more into that stuff than me,” Dean shrugged. “But don’t mind me, what were you all talking about it?”

“Oh, you know,” Karen said, “the kids.”

Dean nodded: “Ahh, of course, do you all have kids?”

The five women nodded and Dean decided that this was a great ice-breaker to them, so he brought up their fictional child: “How sweet. Me and Sammy over there have a little guy as well, although he’s not so little anymore. They’re growing up more and more everyday, am I right?”

The women seemed temporarily shocked by that revelation, but Linda picked up the conversation again: “Totally, so what’s his name and how old is he?”

“Bobby, he’s ten already.” Dean said.

“How cute,” Sharon fawned. “My Jane is five now, but it sometimes feels like my little girl is maturing more and more.”

Dean had come over to flirt a bit with the women, but now he let himself be comforted by stories about little Sammy, remade for suburban ears. He had shared Sams first school play and his cute Halloween outfits, when an opportunity arose to bring up the attacks. Linda said: “Maybe Ronald and Bobby would like to play sometime. He could come over tomorrow if you want to.”

Easily Dean lied: “That seems like a lovely idea, but with the recent deaths… We’ve been pretty scared of bringing Bobby here, so he’s been staying with his grandparents in Sioux Falls.”

A quiet fell over the table, but soon Dean had weaseled out of the women that all three of the kids had been fighting with their moms the night it had happened and that all the moms swore they had heard a strange laugh-like noise the day after.

Once he had the information he made a bit more small talk. He was in the middle of telling them about the Science Fair Sam had won in fifth grade when Sam came to get him. They said their goodbyes and left.

“What did you talk about with ‘the boys’?” Dean grinned.

Sam pushed him away and said: “Shut up! We talked about football, I don’t even know anything about football. What did you talk about, Deanna?”

“Hey, don’t use my amazing jokes against me,” Dean huffed, he got an eyeroll back, but he went on to answer: “But if you must know, we talked about the kids and complained about our men.”

“You complained about me?” Sam said indignantly.

Dean grinned and said: “Yeah, seems like a lot of men struggle with snoring and bed hogging.”

“Dude.”

Dean just laughed at Sam.

“Tell me you at least got some information out of them, because the dads knew nothing. One hadn’t even heard about the deaths.”

“Well, the moms were a bit more informed and talkative. Seems like all the vics had a fight with their moms the night of their deaths and all of them had heard laughing the day after, like someone was laughing at their pain.”

“Good job, now let’s get out of here and do some research.”

“You don’t have to sound so excited.”

Deans comment was ignored.

“So get this,” Sam started out his speech while walking over with his laptop, “apparently a girl killed herself a few years ago, by hanging herself.”

“The bruises.”

“Precisely, she did after she had a fight with her mom. She had been struggling for a while with mental health issues and this was the last straw. According to the police she had done it to get back at her mom, to make her feel guilty about what she had said, she even recorded herself laughing and left that for her mom to find the next day.”

“Sounds like she’s our ghost,” Dean agreed.

“Sounds like it, but there’s a problem.”

“When isn’t there a problem?” Dean complained. “Why can’t there just a be a clean easy salt ‘n burn?”

“Because that isn’t how our life is, man,” Sam said. “Anyway, it doesn’t state where she is buried and there are three big cemeteries in this town, so we’ll have to search every one if we want to find her bones.”

“Ugh, why does a town need three cemeteries? It’s not even that big,” Dean complained again.

“They have a catholic one, a protestant one and a public one,” Sam answered. “Lots of towns have that, so stop complaining.”

“I’m not complaining,” Dean replied indignantly.

“Yes you are. You always do,” Sam sighed

“No, I don’t,” Dean pouted.

“Yes, you- You know what, I’m not playing your childish games,” Sam was starting to get frustrated.

“Oh, yeah of course, now I’m childish. I’m sick of it, why can’t you just let me have my fun. I’m never harming anyone, so why do you care?” Dean said with an angry tone.

“Because your fun consist of annoying me to death or drinking yourself to death. One is nerve grating and the other makes me worry,” Sam bitched

“Oh, god, I’m not talking about that now. Leave me and my drinking alone. It’s nothing,” Dean huffed.

“it’s not not-” Sam began, but Dean cut him off: “We have three cemeteries to search better get started now. Lets go.”

Then he stalked out of the door, a silently fuming Sam following behind him.

“She has to be here, otherwise we’re fucked,” it was the first time the silence had been broken since they’dleft the motel.

Sam nodded tightly and went back to looking at the headstones. They were at the public cemetery and they had already searched the other two entirely with no luck.

Dean was about to call out to Sam that he had found it, when she appeared in front of the younger Winchester. He screamed as she put her hands around his neck and leaned in to whisper something. She didn’t get to say anything, however, because Dean shot her with a round of salt.

They quickly made a salt circle around the grave and caught their breath. Dean said: “You dig, I’ll keep her busy.”

“No, man, I know you’ve hurt your knee on the last hunt. You shouldn’t be running. I’ll take her on, you dig,” Sam said.

“No, Sam, don’t-” Dean didn’t finish, because Sam was already out the salt circle yelling for the spirit to come get him. Dean started digging after a moment of hesitation as he sighed to himself: “Stupid frigging kid.”

Sam had manged to run from the spirit for most of the night, but right now he was pinned down by her. He knew Dean was almost done, but he hoped his brother would hurry, because he was slowly suffocating.

The spirit cackled and whispered in his ear: “I’ll make him regret it. He will regret every word he said.”

Sam chocked out: “Why are you…targeting me? I don’t, ugh, I don’t have a…mom.”

The spirit looked confused for a second, then she whispered: “That’s not what your heart says.”

Then she went up in flames, screaming all the way.

Dean immediately yelled: “Are you okay?”

Dazed Sam sat up and rubbed his neck as he yelled back: “I’m fine, I think.”

“You think?” Deans voice sounded concerned as he hurried over to Sam to check him over.

Sam felt his hands run over his head and hissed a bit when they hit the bump on the back of his head. Dean forced him to look down and inspected the small head wound closer, when he was satisfied with what he found he let go of Sams head and said: “It doesn’t look that bad, but if you feel dizzy or disoriented you have to tell me.”

“No, no, I feel fine,” Sam reassured him. “It’s just what the spirit said that is bothering me.”

“She talked to you?” Dean said with a frown, then he asked: “What did she say?”

Sam hesitated before saying: “She said she’d made him regret it, every word he said.”

“Who the fuck is he?” Dean groused.

Sam thought about it and suddenly it clicked into place. The spirit wasn’t attacking just mothers, but also people who were seen as mothers, he remembered the girl had been adopted. He had argued with Dean just that day, Dean who had cared for him his entire life, who had talked to other mothers about his kid. Dean who had been there at school plays, who had been there when Sam was sick, who made him lunch and taught him how to tie his shoes. Dean who had tucked him in at night and told him not to worry about the monsters under the bed. His brother, who had taken on the roll of mother.

Tears filled Sams eyes with the realization and he felt the need to hug Dean, so he pulled his brother into a tight hug. Dean seemed shocked for a moment, his hands in the air for a second before he slowly wrapped them around Sams tall frame. Confused yet softly and with a gentle tone, he asked: “Whoa, hey, what brought this on?”

“You,” Sam managed to push out between the silent sobs.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, buddy, don’t cry, it’s okay,” Dean hushed, carding his hands through Sams hair on autopilot.

After a while Sam had managed to calm down. Dean wiped away the tears staining his cheeks and asked: “Wanna tell what made you cry like that?”

“You always cared for me, raised me and I never, I never even thanked you,” Sam hiccuped. “You gave up so much for me and I ran away. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

Then he started crying again.

Dean didn’t react, he was sitting there, wide eyes with his boy crying in his arms and he was just playing Sams words over and over in his head. Sam was sorry. Sorry for not thanking him. The absurdity of the thought snapped Dean out of his daze.

He gently grabbed Sams chin and made him lock eyes with him. Then he said in the most caring voice Sam had heard in years: “You don’t have anything to be sorry for, alright? You haven’t done anything wrong. Raising you was never something I didn’t want to do. And although I hated – hate – it, I get why you had to get away, just for a while. It’s okay, no need to apologize.”

Then he let go of Sammys chin and pulled him into a tighter hug as the younger boy murmured: “Doesn’t make it alright,” into his shirt.

After a few more seconds of hugging Sam pulled away and Dean let him. When they were sitting opposite to each other in the empty graveyard in the middle of the night, tears still wet on their faces, they shared a look and burst out laughing. Dean chuckled: “This is ridiculous.”

Sam nodded and let himself be pulled up by Dean. Dean cracked his back and said: “If you’re still feeling guilty you can close the grave as a thanks.”

Sam rolled his eyes, but started to shovel the dirt back into the still smoking hole.

When the last dirt was thrown on the grave Dean broke the comfortable silence: “I’m guessing it was the ghost who pushed you to your conclusion.” Sam nodded and unsure Dean asked: “What did she say?”

Sam thought about it for a second, then he said: “First she told me she’d make him, meaning you, regret everything you’ve said, which made me confused. So I asked her why she was attacking me, because I didn’t have a mom. Then she gave me with such a perplexed look and said ‘That’s not what your heart says’ and then she died, again.”

Dean chocked up a bit and looked away. He swallowed heavily and tried to casually say: “And that made you connect me to being a parental figure, how?”

“I went over her MO, she was adopted so it didn’t have to be a mother by blood and we did fight today. SoI just thought why it would be you and then I thought about our youth and it just suddenly all clicked somehow,” Sam confessed, then he smirked and added: “And it was mom, not parental figure.”

Dean shot him a glare and said: “I’m not some chick, dude.”

“If that’s wanna tell yourself, sure.” Sam said, still smirking.

“Bitch!”

And just like that his brother was back.

Sam smiled.

“Jerk.”

A/N:

I found this on my computer and had forgotten about it completely. I do hope, I could cheer someone up with this :D

#RR writing #tw: suicide mention #suicide mention #supernatural #spn #dean and sam #dean winchester #sam winchester #mom dean winchester #spn season 1 #supernatural season 1

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obtusemedia · 3 years

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Ranking Lady Gaga's albums, from worst to best

Being a Lady Gaga fan can be an exercise in frustration.

Gaga is far more ambitious than most popstars — I doubt we’ll ever see Ariana Grande or Ed Sheeran make an album as left-field as Born This Way or ARTPOP. But she's also far less consistent, with numerous misbegotten projects.

Gaga's undeniably successful, with five #1 hits, an Oscar and multiple iconic music videos to her name. But her messy album rollouts and tradition of underperforming lead singles make her feel like an underdog compared to the more polished, precise careers of her contemporaries like Taylor Swift, Beyoncé or Bruno Mars.

Gaga is kind of a mess. But she's our mess. This album ranking will cover some records I can't stand — albums that make me constantly hit the fast-forward button, or albums I ignore altogether. But there isn't a single record on here that wasn't a bold move. Even the "back to basics" albums made strong aesthetic choices.

So let's dive into the career of the most fascinating Millennial popstar.

#8: Cheek To Cheek (2014)

This really shouldn't count. It's a Lady Gaga album in name only. But, technically it's a Gaga album, so here we are.

I've got nothing against Gaga having fun playing Rat Pack-era dress-up with Tony Bennett. She's a theatre kid at heart, and I'm sure every theatre kid would kill to make a Great American Songbook covers record like this. It sounds like she and Tony enjoyed themselves, so I'm happy for them!

...but I'm sorry. I can't be objective about Cheek To Cheek, it's the opposite of my taste. There's only so many bland lounge ballads I can take.

BEST SONGS: I have to pick one? "Anything Goes" is cute, I guess.

WORST SONG: "Sophisticated Lady"

#7: A Star Is Born (2018)

Let me first make this clear — A Star Is Born, the movie starring Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga? It's a masterpiece. It's electrifying and tragic and I'm still upset it didn't sweep the Oscars that year. There's even a cute dog! You won't hear me say a bad word about it.

But A Star Is Born, the accompanying soundtrack? It's extremely hit-and-miss.

Yes, it includes arguably Gaga's best-ever song and one of the greatest movie hits ever written, "Shallow." And there's plenty of other great tunes in the tracklist too — "Always Remember Us This Way," "I'll Never Love Again," the "La Vie En Rose" cover.

Even the country-rock songs from Bradley Cooper (who, reminder, is not a professional singer) are mostly good! "Black Eyes" RIPS, and "Maybe It's Time" feels like a long-lost classic.

But sadly, there are so many mediocre filler tracks on this thing. The second half of A Star Is Born's hour-plus runtime (Gaga's longest!) is padded with generic songs like "Look What I've Found," "Heal Me" and "I Don't Know What Love Is." The only good one out of the bunch is the silly, intentionally-bad "Why Did You Do That?"

In the movie, these filler tracks serve a point – they're meant to show Gaga's character selling out. They work in the movie when you hear them for a few seconds and see Cooper make a drunkly disappointed scowl. But I don't want to listen to them, and sadly, they make up half the album.

In other words — A Star Is Born would've made an incredible six or seven-song EP. But as an 63-minute-long record? It's a slog.

BEST SONGS: "Shallow", "Always Remember Us This Way," "Maybe It's Time"

WORST SONG: "Heal Me"

#6: Joanne (2016)

After Born This Way and ARTPOP, I get why Gaga needed to make a more lowkey, back-to-basics album. I also understand that many of these songs have extremely personal lyrics for her.

But is a down-to-earth album what I really want from our most outré popstar? Not really.

Luckily, Joanne is better than that description suggests. Yes, there are some bland acoustic ballads and awkward hippie-era throwbacks (two styles that are really not in Gaga's wheelhouse), but there's also some Springsteen-style heartland rockers! And those go hard in the paint.

Joanne works best when Gaga works the record's dusty aesthetics into her brand of weirdo pop, like on the sizzling "John Wayne," the winking "A-YO" or the delightfully extra Florence Welch duet "Hey Girl."

The record also has "Perfect Illusion" — a glorious red herring of a lead single that sounds nothing like anything else on Joanne. It's a roided-up mixture of woozy Tame Impala production and hair metal histrionics, and it rules. It might be Gaga's best-ever lead single! (at the very least, it's her most underrated.)

And there is one slow tune that's unambiguously great: "Million Reasons," another solid Gaga lighters-in-the-air power ballad pastiche.

Despite what some Little Monsters may tell you, Joanne isn't a disaster. There's some great stuff in there, and even the worst songs are just forgettable. But it's still far from her best.

BEST SONGS: "Perfect Illusion," "Diamond Heart," "Million Reasons"

WORST SONG: "Come To Mama"

#5: Chromatica (2020)

When Chromatica was released near the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, it had been seven years since Gaga had released music in her classic gonzo-synthpop vein. I can easily picture the record serving as an "ugh fine, I'll give you what you want" response to the many Little Monsters annoyed with Gaga's half-decade of folksy ballads and Julie Andrews cosplay.

I'll say this about Chromatica — outside of The Fame Monster, it's her most consistent record. There's not a single track that's a glaring mistake. And the three singles — "Stupid Love," "911" and the triumphant Ariana Grande duet "Rain On Me" — easily stand among her best tracks.

But although "all bangers, no ballads" album sounds rad in theory, it doesn't really succeed in practice. Chromatica is solid, but it's also a very same-y record. It feels like Gaga had one really great idea for the album ('90s club music with super-depressing lyrics) and repeated it over and over and over again to diminishing results.

There are some songs that are able to separate themselves: the three singles, of course, as well as the goofy "Babylon" and "Sine From Above," the Elton John duet that's the closest Chromatica gets to a ballad. But by the end of the album, you feel more worn out than electrified.

Also — and this is probably unfair, but still — Chromatica came out just a couple months after another retro-dance blockbuster pop album: Dua Lipa's magnum opus, Future Nostalgia. That's not a flattering comparison.

BEST SONGS: "Rain On Me," "Stupid Love," "911"

WORST SONG: "1000 Doves"

#4: The Fame (2008)

Out of all of Gaga's records, The Fame is most like a time capsule. It REEKS of late '00s/early '10s pop — which isn't an entirely fair criticism, seeing as Gaga popularized that era's sleazy, synthy aesthetic. It's also not a bad thing! I don't mind a little nostalgia!

As you already know, The Fame's singles are masterworks. "Just Dance," "Poker Face," "Paparazzi" — these tracks have titanic legacies for good reason. And although it's probably the least-beloved of this album's hits, despite being a total banger, "LoveGame" should still be commended for having arguably the most Gaga lyric ever (you know, the "disco stick" line).

And even though those tracks are front-loaded on The Fame, there are some gems deeper in the tracklist. "Summerboy" is basically Gwen Stefani covering The Strokes (so obviously, it's great). "Eh, Eh" is adorable. "Starstruck" is the most 2008 song ever recorded, with aggressive Auto-Tune and Flo Rida showing up to make Starbucks jokes.

Sadly, The Fame still feels like Gaga before she became fully-formed at certain points. The back half has a number of songs that feel like generic club tracks forced by the label, and "Paper Gangsta" is one of the clunkiest songs in Gaga's catalogue.

But at the very least, the bad songs on The Fame at least serve as little nostalgia bombs for that era of pop. And the best songs are untouchable classics.

BEST SONGS: "Paparazzi," "Just Dance," "Summerboy"

WORST SONG: "Paper Gangsta"

#3: ARTPOP (2013)

For much of Gaga's career, she's been ahead of the curve. She tries something, and a year or a few years later, other popstars try something similar to diminishing results.

That doesn't just apply to the successful stuff, like Gaga's extravagant music videos inspiring many copycats from 2010-2013. It also applies to the mid-late '10s trend of legacy popstars making a controversial record with risky aesthetic or lyrical choices that backfired: reputation. Witness. Man of The Woods.

Gaga did this first, with ARTPOP — arguably the most abrasive, and bizzare major label album released by a major modern popstar. And she did it better, because unlike Swift, Perry and Timberlake, Gaga's weirdness was for real. And it was in service of some prime, hyper-aggressive bangers.

ARTPOP isn't Gaga's best work — some of her experiments on it are major misfires, from the obnoxious "Mary Jane Holland" to the bland Born This Way leftover (and Romani slur-utilizing) "Gypsy."

But when ARTPOP is on, it's ON. The opening stretch in particular, from "Aura" to "Venus" to "G.U.Y." to "Sexxx Dreams," is chaotic synthpop at its finest. Those songs took Gaga's classic sound to an apocalyptic, demented extreme, and they're fantastic.

"MANiCURE" is a great glam-rock banger, "Dope" is another classic Gaga piano ballad, the title track is some sikly-smooth dreampop; even the misguided, clunky trap anthem "Jewels N' Drugs" is bad in a hilarious, charming way!

Trust me: ARTPOP will go down in history not as a flop, but as a gutsy, underrated record from a legend. Less Witness, more In Utero.

BEST SONGS: "G.U.Y.," "Venus," "Sexxx Dreams"

WORST SONG: "Gypsy"

#2: The Fame Monster (2009)

Objectively speaking, this is probably the best Gaga album.

It's her one record with no fluff, no filler — only 34 minutes and 8 tracks, all of them stellar.

It's the record that took Gaga from "wow, this new woman is a fresh new face in pop!" to "this woman IS pop."

It's the record with her signature track, "Bad Romance," which was accompanied by arguably the greatest music video of the 21st Century. (It also has my absolute favorite Gaga track, the relentlessly catchy "Telephone.")

I don't think I need to explain what makes mega-smashes "Bad Romance" and "Telephone" and "Alejandro" great, nor the accompanying legendary deep cuts "Speechless" and "Dance In The Dark." They speak for themselves.

However — the sleek, calculated perfection of The Fame Monster, while incredible, isn't something I return to often. It's just not the side of Gaga that's my favorite. That honor would have to go to...

BEST SONGS: "Telephone," "Dance In The Dark," "Bad Romance"

WORST SONG: "So Happy I Could Die" (but it's still pretty solid)

#1: Born This Way (2011)

One of my favorite podcasts is Blank Check. The concept of the show is to analyze each movie by a famous director — in particular, those who had big success early on and then got a blank check to make whatever crazy passion project they wanted. Here's a great example: because Batman was a massive hit, Tim Burton got to make whatever Hot Topic-core movies he wanted to for decades, from Edward Scissorhands to a creepy Willy Wonka remake.

That long-winded tangent is just to say: Born This Way was Lady Gaga's blank check. By early 2011, she had conquered the pop universe, notching hit after hit after hit. Every other pop star was copying her quirky music videos. So the label let Gaga do whatever she wanted — and she didn't waste that opportunity.

Born This Way is wildly overproduced. It's both extremely trend-chasing (those synths were cutting edge at the time but charmingly dated now), but also deeply uncaring about what the teens want (I don't think Springsteen and Queen homages were big at the time). And I love every messy, overblown second of it.

From the hair-metal/synthpop hybrid opener "Marry The Night" to the majestic '80s power ballad "The Edge of Glory," Born This Way starts at an 11. And Gaga never takes her foot off the pedal for the album's entire hour-plus run time. Clanging electric guitars, thunderous synths and Clarence Clemons (!!!) sax solos collide into each other as Gaga champions every misfit and loser in the world. It's gloriously corny in the best way possible.

Born This Way is also the perfect middle ground of pop-savvy Gaga and gonzo Gaga. It doesn't go quite as hard as ARTPOP, but the hooks are stronger. And the oddball moments are tons of fun, from the sci-fi biker anthem "Highway Unicorn" to the goofy presidential-sex banger "Government Hooker" ("Put your hands on me/John F. Kennedy" might be the greatest line in pop history).

Born This Way will always be my favorite Gaga album. It's armed with nuclear-grade hooks, slamming beats, and soaring anthems. Although it's not as untouchably pristine as the Mt. Rushmore of '10s pop classics (for the record, that's 1989, EMOTION, Lemonade and, of course, Melodrama), Gaga isn't best served by meticulousness. She's proudly tacky and histrionic, and so that's what makes Born This Way an utter joy.

BEST SONGS: "The Edge of Glory," "You and I," "Marry The Night"

WORST SONG: "Bloody Mary"

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owlsbride · 3 years

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Icha Icha and Prejudice: The Book Club

Chapter IV: That Inner Voice

Eleven o'clock in the morning and Sakura was already upset. It was her first official vacation day, and it didn't start it as she had hoped. She had planned to sleep late, wake up in the most glorious and easy possible way with the felling of a long needy rested body. After all, she had to realise that Shizune and the Hokage were right, she needed to rest for a while, she was reaching the limits of her strength, and like this, she wasn't going to last long. So even if she was still a bit mad about the resolution, she finally came to terms with it, and it was ok.

What she has not been able to imagine was that after her furious outburst in the Hokage Tower, yesterday night, she would find herself immersed in a crazy game that Kakashi planned in less than a minute just to annoy her, disturb her, and of course, tease her. Dammed, he was smart. God, she hated that man.

'Yeah, tell yourself that till you believe it.'

Suddenly, she repeated Kakashi's recent message in her mind with a highly pitchy tone. It was not her sensei's voice, though.

'Hello there, Sakura.'

So she was back. After years of silence, her bitchy inner Sakura's voice came back to torment her mind and life. She turned on the bed, sinking her head in the pillow ready to grumble, and silent a scream of fury trying to escape from her frustrating throat. Perfect timing for the remarkable comeback. Perfect timing.

After her teen years, Sakura, under the Godaime tutelage, decided that inner Sakura was no longer necessary. She was pretty capable of analysing all the facts in front of her as well as her feelings, thoughts and attitudes, she no longer needed her alter ego to push her to act in this or that way, nor to show her the right path when she was lost. Generally, the correct direction of the inner Sakura was always the wrong one, but that she had only been able to see it after her failed attempt of relationship with Sasuke or any other man in the village.

The inner Sakura was impulsive, arrogant, prejudiced, and without a doubt much more daring than Sakura herself, and that did not suit her.

So, one morning, and just like that, the work, stress and the effort to make her inner voice disappeared went straight to the trash been, cause she was loudly back.

'Don't tell me that you didn't miss me.' the voice in her head said almost sad.

"No, I didn't. Not even a tiny bit." Great, now Sakura was talking to herself out loud.

'You are harsh with both of us, Sakura'

"No, I'm not. I worked hard for you to shut up, so, please..." Sakura pleaded.

'And yet, here I am.'

"What do you want?"

'The question is, what Do You want' annoying or not, inner Sakura's question was accurate and sharp. What was what she wanted?

"Arghh... fine! If you are here to stay, I hope, at least, for you to be useful."

'I'm all yours. Now get up, girl, we have things to do.'

Sakura finally accepted that the voice was back and resolved to went through everything with her in her mind. She didn't have much of an option, cause apparently, inner Sakura was not going to disappear any time soon. It was better to have a good relationship with her mind at this moment. Three weeks off was too much to think on her own. Maybe she had called her back. Perhaps it was a coping mechanism to go through her own personal hell with Icha Icha. Inner Sakura could be much more helpful with her sharp, bold thoughts. She was a natural teaser and a skilful trickster at times. She was the not so innocent part of her mind that incited thoughts that Sakura preferred to suppress. The inner Sakura's silence was what had allowed her not to have sex in all this time, putting all her libido in her work, making her see each man who passed by the hospital as an object of study and not as a possible good laid. Except maybe for Kakashi.

Hatake Kakashi, the Rokudaime, her Lord Sixth, her eternal sensei. The very same, that when he got sick or came back injured from a mission, he just wanted to be cared for by her. The one used to listen to her ramblings every day about new ideas, supporting all her projects. The one that one way or another was always by her side. Kakashi, the man with silver hair who aroused the entire village's curiosity and sighs even though no one, not even her, knew what was under the mask. The same man who could be severe enough to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, but who also read Icha Icha in public and even dared to flirt with her without shame or openness.

'You're so into him.' Inner Sakura spoke again suppressing a laugh.

"Oh please, It's not like that." Sakura dismissed her.

'How long are you going to live in denial, Sakura?'

"What do you mean?"

'Can't you see it for your own?'

"No..."

'Thank god I'm here then.'

Sakura stopped the conversation with her inner self because she really needed a cup o coffee first. She had spent the first hours of her morning texting with Kakashi and talking to herself, and it was already exhausting. How was she supposed to survive both of them? Passing by her living room to the kitchen, Sakura directed her view to the orange book on the table. Sooner or later, she would have to start reading. But first thing first: Breakfast.

After almost half an hour, Sakura finally was ready to face her destiny and her thoughts.

'Are you ready?' Inner Sakura was jumping all over her mind like a child in a kermesse.

"I guess..." Sakura answered nervously sitting in her couch, crouching her legs and taking the book in her hands.

'Imagine the things he had done with that book' Her mind was torturous libidinous.

"Let's just don't think about it, ok?"

'Oh, come on, don't act as if you were a virgin Sakura... Just imagine, the shower, the couch, the bed...'

"Please, don't be grossed" Sakura answered blushing deeply. Something burning was forming inside of her, and she was sure it wasn't just her chakra.

'You slut, you have already thought about that. You are so hot with him.' Inner Sakura was celebrating.

"Shut up."

Chapter I: The sunset. The light was slowly extinguishing on the cornfields making the shadows that were projected throughout the space even more orange. The summer rain's soft scent had left a persistent sweet aroma mixed with the lavenders that were only a few meters from where she was standing. The heat and humidity created a soft layer of sweat on her body, mixing her own body scent with that of her surroundings. She knew that she must have run away as soon as she saw him arriving at the village. Instead, she only could make it to the cornfield, a familiar place for both of them.

So cliche, Sakura thought with a grin on her face. She was sure that Kakashi was having it way harder than her. Though she had to recognise that even if Jiraiya didn't have Jane Austen's prose, it wasn't that bad. So far, it was an easy, perfectly innocent reading.

'Really Sakura? is that what you are thinking? A neat prose?' Inner Sakura jumped in her mind again a bit upset because up to now Sakura wasn't able to find nothing too thrilling in the first pages. Sakura didn't pay her any attention and kept reading, she was starting to relax about this whole thing of Kakashi's little obsession. It wasn't that bad.

He followed her without hesitation. He knew he would find her staring at the horizon, waiting for the night breeze to cool her feverish skin. She had always liked to feel the summer wind run across her ivory skin, bristling the hair on her arms, making her shiver. Her tousled hair floating freely, like her thoughts. He knew he would find her there, and right there, he would claim her just for himself.

Sakura sighed, the things were already starting to heat up but in a really smooth and slow path. The Sannin knew how to build tension and, what she heard Ino said once, a good slow-burn romance scenario. Inner Sakura was in silence, and she was immensely enjoying the reading. Actually, she was starting to think that she could spend the entire day at home reading. After all, it wasn't that hard.

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

Sakura looked for her cellphone. Inner Sakura was already starting to complain about the interruption, but she suddenly stopped.

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

18:30 H.Kakashi: Yo!

18:30 H.Kakashi: What are you doing, Sakura?

Sakura didn't know if to answer and play difficult, Inner Sakura was highly excited about those short, silly messages. Of course, Sakura answered, she had to follow the inner lead.

18:32: Hello, Sensei

18:32: Reading, you?

Sakura didn't come back to the book. She just fixed her stare in the device in her hand.

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

18:35: H.Kakashi: And?

Kakashi wasn't going to answer her, she was sure. She would have to give him something first. She knew her sensei like the palm of her hand.

18:36: It's ok so far

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

18:36 H.Kakashi: What?

18:36 H.Kakashi: Just ok?

18:37 H.Kakashi: Do you even know how to read, Sakura?

Sakura burst to laugh out loud in her home alone. He was such a spoiled child.

18:40: Yes Hokage Sama, it's ok, I haven't read much yet.

18:40: What about you? Working? Reading?

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

18:41 H.Kakashi: Actually, both.

18:41: And?

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

18:42 H.Kakashi: Work, awful, reading, quite interesting.

18:42 H.Kakashi: Tell me, Sakura, is it possible?

Sakura asked herself what was he talking about, Inner Sakura, invited to re questioned him.

18:45: What?

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

18:46 H.Kakashi: To have five daughters and take care of all of them, in a simple civilian life, plus a wife and listen to them all the time talking without a stop

Sakura laughed again.

18:47: So... You are feeling bad for the poor Mr Benett, right?

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

18:47 H.Kakashi: Who wouldn't...

18:48 H. Kakashi: Listen Sakura...

And for a moment he didn't say anything more.

18:55: What now?

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

18:55 H.Kakashi: Would you like to have dinner? Unless you already have plans. We don't need to talk about the books, in fact, we don't have to talk at all

Sakura stood frozen. What was wrong with him. Even if it was just a simple text, she could read need in his words.

'Don't you dare to say no' Inner Sakura adverted, forming a fist with her imaginary hand.

19:00: Rough day?

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

19:00 H. Kakashi: You can't imagine.

Sakura smiled.

19:01: Then you'll have to tell me.

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mediaevalmusereads · 3 years

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Bringing Down the Duke. By Evie Dunmore. New York: Berkley, 2019.

Rating: 3/5 stars

Genre: historical romance

Part of a Series? Yes, A League of Extraordinary Women #1

Summary: England, 1879. Annabelle Archer, the brilliant but destitute daughter of a country vicar, has earned herself a place among the first cohort of female students at the renowned University of Oxford. In return for her scholarship, she must support the rising women's suffrage movement. Her charge: recruit men of influence to champion their cause. Her target: Sebastian Devereux, the cold and calculating Duke of Montgomery who steers Britain's politics at the Queen's command. Her challenge: not to give in to the powerful attraction she can't deny for the man who opposes everything she stands for. Sebastian is appalled to find a suffragist squad has infiltrated his ducal home, but the real threat is his impossible feelings for green-eyed beauty Annabelle. He is looking for a wife of equal standing to secure the legacy he has worked so hard to rebuild, not an outspoken commoner who could never be his duchess. But he wouldn't be the greatest strategist of the Kingdom if he couldn't claim this alluring bluestocking without the promise of a ring...or could he? Locked in a battle with rising passion and a will matching her own, Annabelle will learn just what it takes to topple a duke...

***Full review under the cut.***

Content Warnings: graphic sexual content, sexism/misogyny, attempted sexual assault

Overview: I learned about this book while searching around for romances in the vein of The Suffragette Scandal. Overall, I found Bringing Down the Duke fairly fun; it features a badass heroine, a hero who doesn’t give off violent alpha male vibes, and a plot that addresses real issues like class and gender equality. I only give this book 3 stars, however, because I think the plot could have been organized better, and I think the romance gets a little frustrating after about the halfway point. Still, if you’re just starting to read romance and aren’t sure about what level of physical intimacy you’re willing to tolerate, this book might be a good starter.

Writing: Dunmore’s prose is fairly laid-back and easy to understand, so if you’re looking for a light read, this book might fit the bill for you.

I do think, however, that Dunmore could have crafted her narrative and used her prose to reinforce the theme of independence vs safety. While this theme comes up a number of times, I always felt it was an afterthought because so many things were happening in the book, and I would have liked to see Dunmore pull back and really make the whole narrative (and use language, metaphor, etc) about this conflict.

Plot: The non-romance plot of this book follows Annabelle - a bluestocking who is given a full scholarship to Oxford on the condition that she support the suffragette movement. She is allowed to go on the condition that she send her cousin 2 pounds per month to pay for a housekeeper (which he will be lacking if Annabelle goes away), and as she tries to balance school, work, and activism, she is tasked with “infiltrating” the Duke of Montgomery’s home in hopes of winning him to the suffragette cause. Of course, shenanigans ensue from there.

What I really enjoyed about this plot was the ambition. I liked reading about the class and gender barriers that Annabelle had to navigate, and I liked that her political ambitions were at odds with the Duke’s personal ones. However, such a wide range of conflicts meant that not all plot threads were explored to the degree I would have liked. It seemed like characters were pulled in a lot of different directions, and that these non-romance plots took a backseat when it was least appropriate. The Duke’s New Year’s Eve party, for example, is supposed to be this big political move for the Duke to show his commitment to the Queen and the Tories, but we never see him put things in place or pull some social strings to line everything up, and we never see the party used as a crisis point in the political plot. Instead, it passes in the space of only a few pages and is mainly used as an opportunity for Annabelle and the Duke to become intimate. I would have instead liked to see it be this moment where the plot as a whole takes a turn: maybe everything is going well until the Duke realizes his feelings for Annabelle as well as the actions of his younger brother throw the whole party (and his political ambitions) into jeopardy. In short, I felt like events could have been moved around to make them more narratively impactful, rather than everything happening at a somewhat leisurely and meandering pace.

On a related note, I didn’t feel like the plot as a whole had many elements of suspense, nor did they really build on each other. As a result, the plot seemed to lack shape; there wasn’t really a rising action, and I was never sure what characters were going to do next (which was frustrating, rather than exciting). I think this could have been improved if we had seen Annabelle take a more active role in trying to manipulate the Duke. As the book stands, Annabelle seems to simply inhabit the Duke’s house and “wins” him over by being defiant. I think I would have liked to see her try more purposeful techniques, like going through his things to try to get information on him, having more political or philosophical conversations, etc. Something to drive the suffragette narrative forward and perhaps set up a moment when Annabelle has to reveal that she’s been trying to spy on him or something.

Characters: Annabelle, our heroine, is a fun character to follow. She’s smart, hardworking, and generous with regards to her friends. I liked that she wasn’t presented as this superwoman who could do everything, but was doing her best to balance all the demands made on her. While I think all of Annabelle’s actions were believable and she was a fairly complex character, I also think Dunmore was trying to do too much with her. Not only is Annabelle trying to balance her studies and her activism while struggling with poverty, but she also has a secret from her past which must be dealt with. Personally, I found it all a little much. I think Annabelle’s past and her financial obligations to her cousin could have been cut, placing more emphasis on the pressures of staying in school or becoming destitute. The conflict for her, then, would be something like the risks that come with being an independent woman, and how her entanglement with the Duke raises new risks.

Sebastian, our hero, in interesting in that he is stoic and single-minded without being a huge jerk. He’s completely obsessed with winning back his family’s estate, and he lets that obsession compromise his political and moral beliefs (though not to the point where he’s openly hostile towards women or anything like that - more like he’s willing to support the Tory party because he has been promised the return of his estate if they win the election). I liked that much of his personal growth had to do with deciding what it was he valued more: his family’s reputation or his personal happiness and being on the right side of history.

Supporting characters were fun and enriched the narrative. Annabelle’s suffragette friends were a lovely support system, and I adored the moments when they rallied to help Annabelle in moments of trouble. Sebastian’s brother, Peregrine, was a nice foil to the Duke and I liked that he was irresponsible and impulsive without being a total rake. Jenkins, Annabelle’s professor, was also an interesting character to have in the mix, especially when he became more involved in creating points of tension towards the end, and I liked that he was bookish and eccentric without being cold and self-important.

Romance: Annabelle and Sebastian’s romance is... ok. There were things about it I liked, and things I found frustrating. I really liked their banter and that they were intellectual matches for each other. I also liked that the barrier to them being together was rooted in class and the conflict between personal desire and family obligation. I also appreciated that the romance seemed to build naturally; while physical attraction was present, it wasn’t like Sebastian saw her and popped a boner and that’s what set everything off. Their relationship developed slower and I found it much more believable than some other romances.

What I didn’t like, however, was that after about the book’s halfway point, the relationship seemed to plateau and it became a matter of Annabelle and Sebastian splitting up, chancing upon each other in public, feelings erupt, then they do something intimate and split up again. I would have much rather have had something like a clean break at the 3/4 mark in the book: the two realize they can’t be together in the way they want, so Annabelle leaves and focuses on her activism/studies. During that time, things happen that challenge Sebastian’s commitment to his family legacy, but he doesn’t go seek Annabelle out. Maybe Annabelle instead gets an offer that would make her more financially stable (or more secure in her place at Oxford), so then she can go back to Sebastian, etc etc (I’m thinking about how the class barrier is handled in Jane Eyre here, if you can’t tell). It would have gotten rid of the annoying miscommunication incident towards the end, and instead would have forced some more meaningful development and not a “will they or won’t they” string of events.

TL;DR: Bringing Down the Duke is a bit of a narrative mess, but nevertheless fun and entertaining. With likeable characters, a believable romance, and meaningful themes, I would recommend this book for those just starting out in romance or to those who want romances written with contemporary readers (and sensibilities) in mind.

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