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#like they just throw out numbers and words but obscure how they found these numbers and words
no one truly understands the sheer fuckery of the sunday friend conversation until they try doing a project on economics honestly feel like mauling that guy now
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thelovelylolly · 3 months
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Hi I saw your v-day prompt list and I was wondering if I could get a billy hargrove x reader with number 27."will you just hold me please" I would really love it<3
One Last Goodbye
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Summary: When Vecna plays with your mind, you get to see Billy one last time Warnings: kinda hurt/comfort??? like reader gets closure with billy, also reader is described to be shorter than him (also also not proofread lol) Word Count: 670 Notes: listen, i know i said i was just gonna write fluffy stuff, but cmonnnnnn i gotta throw some angst in there
You couldn't really tell where you were exactly, the blue fog obscuring anything at least seven feet in front of you. All you knew was Vecna was messing with you and pulled you into your mind. You didn't know why he was chose you, but now you were on a street, surrounded by fog.
You tried to keep yourself calm as you looked around, trying to find a way out. You turned in a circle, hoping to see through the fog. When you faced forward again, you saw a silhouette in the fog, walking closer and closer.
"W-who's there?" You called into the fog.
The silhouette got closer and closer before the fog parted in front of you. You gasped, cupping your hand over your mouth in shock as you stumbled back a few steps.
Billy.
"Oh my god," you uttered softly, your shock becoming confusion. "How...?"
"I wish I knew, sweetheart," he answered, stepping closer. Once he was right in front of you, gently pulling your hand away from your mouth and taking your hands in his, you noticed his eyes were glossed over with tears. "I'm so happy to see you again."
"This...this isn't real. Vecna's making me see you, you're not real," you quickly blurted as tears starting to well in your eyes and a lump formed in your throat. "You can't be real."
"Oh, baby," he cooed, pulling you into a tight hug. He let you cry into his chest as he rested his chin on top of your head. He felt your trembling arms immediately wrap around him tightly, like you were afraid to let him go because he'd disappear.
Maybe he would. He didn't even know where he was before suddenly being on a road surrounded with fog. He just started to walk forward with hopes to find something, and he did.
He found you. The last time he saw you, you were crying while you held him in your arms. He didn't really feel his death, he was too focused on you. He felt like he slipped into a different reality, and maybe he did. He didn't know, but he didn't care enough to figure it out because you weren't with him anymore.
Yet, here you were, crying into his chest.
Billy pressed a kiss to the top of your head before pulling away just enough to meet your gaze. He brought his hands to your facing, cupping your cheeks as he thumbs wiped away the stray tears.
"How are you here? Did you...are you dead?" He asked, the sudden realization that you could've died hitting him and making him panic.
"I-I don't know. I don't think I'm dead," you reassured him, "but where are we?"
"I don't know, sweetheart."
Then, faintly, you heard music playing. It sounded far away at first, then it sounded like it was getting closer and closer. It was your favorite song, your friends were trying to save you.
"I don't have much time, Billy. I want you to know that I love you and I'm sorry that I didn't save you-"
"Hey, don't apologize, okay? No one knew what was going to happen. I'm lucky I got to be with you when I did because I love you. And I'm lucky to see you again, even if it isn't for long."
The music was getting louder by the second.
"Will you just hold me please?" You asked softly. "I don't want to let you go again."
Billy didn't answer. He did as you asked, wrapping his arms around you as tight as he could without hurting you. He felt a tear slip down his cheek, knowing this was going to be your last moments together. He didn't want to let you go, but he knew deep down that if you stayed, it would do more damage than good. He quickly came to terms that this was your last goodbye.
"I love you, Billy," you said weakly, your voice shaking with emotion.
"I love you, too, sweetheart. Goodbye."
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saph-writes · 1 year
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Living Together (New Situations, Old Habits)
ao3 link:
Summary: A series of stories following Shidou and Sae living together for the first time. Along the way, they both begin to learn more about each other, and maybe a little about themselves.
Words: 2421
Sae should've thought twice before agreeing to move in with Ryusei. It's very rare that he finds himself thinking that. Usually, he makes every decision with careful consideration and thought. Mistakes are a rare occurrence, as that would require a lapse in judgement. Then again, he did end up giving Ryusei his number years ago, and regretted it immediately when he was awoken early the morning with a text asking for dick pics. He swore up and down later that it was just a joke (a flirty tease apparently) but that didn't make Sae any less irritated. Not to mention that once they started going out, Sae started to see more and more of how Ryusei is really like and to no surprise, he is just as much of a demon off the field than he is on it.
Despite all that, he had somehow been able to convince him to buy an apartment for the two of them, with Sae's money of course, and move in together.
If only he could travel back in time and warn his old self. Actually, maybe he should go back even earlier and make sure he never found out about the blue lock project in the first place, and Ryusei would've never become a problem. Or maybe before then, when he got his first ever offer to Spain. Blissful ignorance actually seems preferable right now.   Sae finds himself questioning everything that has led up to this point as he stands by the door in their new apartment, keys in hand, and stares with a deathly glare at a bobbing head in the kitchen. The kitchen that had been squeaky clean before he left, but now lays as a complete mess.
Everywhere is absolutely filled to the brim with dirty dishes and containers, trash, bits of food literally everywhere (how the fuck did he get some on the ceiling), and unopened bags. Sae shuts the door behind him and sets the keys on the table. The blonde head of hair standing in front of the stove pipes up and turns excitedly. "Sae-chan!" "What the fuck are you doing." Ryusei grins and playfully shakes the spatula in his hand around in the air. "Making dinner for a special someonee... You wouldn't know him though, he's super shy." The spatula throws a bit of dough onto the counter. Sae can feel his eyebrow begin to twitch. "I clean this entire kitchen before I left, how the fuck did you fuck it all up in a few hours?"
Ryusei seems to be feeling extra giddy today, because he just gives Sae a sly smile and shrugs, giggling to himself as he turns back to stir the pot. At least 3 others were piled beside it on the counter. "Dunnoo, maybe someone casted a spell here to curse us... should I put in soy sauce or tomato?"
Ryusei looks thoughtfully up and contemplates. He settles the dirty spoon down on the counter, the white counter, and begins opening the cabinets. His lips twists into a frown. 
"Saee, we don't have-"
"I already bought it. It's in one of those bags." Ryusei grins and Sae catches him moving to open the bags."-Wash your hands first. Disgusting."
Ryusei blinks and notices his hands, all dirty with dried sauces and spices stuck on. While he puts them under the sink, his head bops from side to side, and he's humming a joyful tune. It sounds vaguely familiar to that obscure music Sae always hears him listen to. He turns back to Sae. "All done~"
"Okay, now help me clean up."
"I need to finish our special meal first though." Sae is more than willing to eat takeout for the fifth time that week, but he complies nonetheless. 
"Alright. And how long will that take."
"Hmm.." Ryusei playfully taps his chin and closes his eyes, as if he was deep in thought (as if he had more than two braincells). "Welll.. if you're nice, maybe another hour. Then, as the chef, I can graciously welcome you to my kitchen for our special dinner."
"You mean my kitchen?"
"Our kitchen," Ryusei corrects, shooting him another toothy grin.  He grabs the soy sauce out of the bag and dumps some of it into the pot, splattering bits on the stove.
Sae was nearly fed up. "I'm going to kill you-" However, before he has the chance to strangle him (though he doubts Ryusei would count that as a punishment), his pocket starts vibrating and sending a obnoxiously loud ringtone. He grabs his phone out of his pocket and glances at the caller ID. Then, taking a deep breath, Sae calmly walks towards the door. "Oh? I thought you were going to kill me?" Ryusei says. He has a look of amusement, like he is excited to see he got a rise out of the usually calm and calculated Itoshi Sae. Sae gives him another death glare. "Clean this up before I come back in." "Will do~" Sae gets a final look at Ryusei turning back to the stove and jumping cautiously before he closes the door. Two days in, and he is already regretting moving in with someone with the mental intelligence of an 8-year old. But, he does do what he is told, and always seems weirdly happy about it, something that made Sae tolerate him a little bit more. At least more than other people his age. The phone is still ringing. Sae leans against the hallway of their apartment building, rests his head on the wall, and answers the call, discarding all those unnecessary thoughts and concerns that floated around in his head. ~ He ends up being out much longer than expected. The call lasted for about an hour, dealing with important matters from the club, and afterwards he was forced to help out an old lady move in some boxes. (He tried to get out of it, but this lady was tone-deaf or something because she kept insisted repeatedly. Sae was about to tell her to fuck off when he realized that Ryusei had locked the door with his keys inside, because of course he did.) By the time he finished, it had been nearly 2 hours, and Sae is ready to come in and see another mess even worse than the last. He is already mentally preparing to get the cleaning supplies he had brought a few days before just for this very occasion. Bracing himself, Sae violently shakes the doorknob to their apartment. The door flies open. There appears Ryusei, leaning against the doorframe with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. He even has the audacity to give him a wink. "Hey there, you come here often pretty boy?" "Let me in." As expected, Ryusei does as he was told. He has on the apron he had worn while cooking, even though it was technically Sae's, and his back hair is pulled back behind a headband. The apron is covered in dark stains and powder and so are parts of his sleeves and t-shirt appearing underneath. At least he has the decency to wear casual clothes beneath his apron. Sae steps into the apartment. However, as he looks around the place (their place), he raises an eyebrow.
The apartment isn't in shambles. The furniture is still standing, and nothing is on fire. The kitchen counters are perfectly clean, along with the stove and table. They look like they have been wiped down and the bits of trash that have been scattered all over have all been thrown away. Even the dishes and pots are washed, leaving the sink completely empty and organized. Sae moves towards their small dinner table for two that sits in between the kitchen and tv area. A skinny glass vase stands in the middle, perfectly distanced between the two chairs. In it, a single red rose. Sae didn't remember buying- Two arms wraps around his waist.
Sae jumps. His body goes on edge, tense, until he looks down and spots two familiar blond hair strands out of the corner of his eye. A head leans on top his shoulder gently, pressing a light weight on his back. "You've been gone all day," Ryusei whispers. "I thought we'd eat dinner together, just the two of us."  His voice is so uncharacteristically soft that Sae has to repeat his words again in his head to fully register it. For a moment, he wonders if Ryusei was acting this way because he wants something. It wouldn't be the first time it had happen. But something about the way he holds his arms loosely around him and his movement rocking them back and forth tells him he was being genuine. It would explain his giddiness from before, too.  Sae leans in against him. "That's because you decided to kick someone during practice and got yourself suspended for a week."  "What else what I supposed to do? I was getting bored, no one there could make my heart explode. Not in the way you can, Sae.."
Of course they couldn't.. Sae thinks, but doesn't say. Ryusei doesn't say anything either.
The two of them fall into a mellow silence.
Ryusei shifts to position his head, and begins to hum a rhythm, presumingly the same song he had been humming just a few hours earlier. Sae is able hear it clearly right against his ear, where Ryusei is leaning his head against Sae's neck.
It is so clearly out of tune, not following any beat whatsoever. Completely disorganized, appearing in absolute disarray. And yet, a richness lays beneath the melody, one that if Sae listens closely, he could feel the notes as if they are coming right off sheet music. Then it came to him that Ryusei probably isn't trying to imitate the song he has in his head, but is instead adapting it to his liking. Changing bits and pieces of it in his own, unique way. 
It is a rhythm made solely for him, one that he is sharing with Sae at this very moment. 
As if he knew what Sae is thinking, Ryusei holds him closer, and hums the rich tune just a bit softer.
This isn't the same kind of flirty touch Ryusei usually gave when they were alone. Sae could tell that there is no underlying desire in his embrace, but rather a kind of comfort and protective hold containing nothing but affection. It is a touch that lives for the moment, for the simple wish of having him in his arms. They could've been there, laced together, for a few minutes or hours, it doesn't seem to matter, only that his arms were around him. That is all the two of them needed.
It is a feeling that lingered even after Ryusei pulls away and steps in front of him. He has a large stupid smile on his face. "My, my, who do we have here? You want me to pull the chair out for you, pretty boy?" Sae bares no reaction to Ryusei's usual flirtatious antics, but a smile inevitably escapes him. And like that, it was enough for Ryusei.
Ryusei grabs his hand and tugs him towards the chair. Sae decides to play along and sits down. Now that he thinks about it, he actually curious to see what Ryusei has made. The last time he cooked their meal, it was nearly inedible. Sae held that over his head for ages while ignoring the fact that he can't cook either. After all, it had been amusing to see Ryusei try to disprove him.  Sae looks at the table's surface, which already has plastic utensils placed in each of their spots. He knows damn well that they had metal spoons and forks in one of drawers. But as he stands up to get them, he was pushed back down into his seat. "Hold on, I'm almost done."
Irritated, Sae taps his fingers impatiently against the table. There are sounds of shuffling occurring behind him and footsteps moving up and down. Eventually, a presence appears right behind his seat and he sees a plate come down from above his head to be settled before him. It is a white ceramic plate, and on it is golden-colored noodles, glistening with a sauce poured all over. It is complimented with the typical side of white rice and vegetables covered in soy sauce. It even contained mushrooms, which were one of his favorite foods. In fact, he realizes he greatly enjoys all of the foods Ryusei has picked for tonight, and Sae can only faintly recall a time where he has mentioned it at all to him. Perhaps around the time they had started texting, years ago, when Sae had told him about his particular notions towards food. Ryusei sits across from him with a very similar plate. He sets down two glasses filled with red wine for the two of them and takes a sip from his glass. His apron is gone and he has even somehow had the time to change into a cleaner shirt. Quiet, ambient music plays in the background. In the just the span of a few hours, Ryusei has been able to turn their bare apartment into a place Sae thinks he would never want to leave. 
He catches Sae's eye and shoots him a winning smile. 
"What, you too impressed to speak?" That flirty tone is back, and combined with the earlier realization still turning in his head, Sae looks away. He takes in a large forkful of noodles and swallows hastily. After all these years, Sae could still feel flustered from something Ryusei did or said. It was like magic, a spell casted upon him to make something that has never existed before blossom inside him, like the rose that sits between them. It's a feeling he doesn't think he's felt since he's been thrown into the world-stage as a young teen. As Ryusei and Sae comfortably sit and eat ("the rice's overcooked." "aw you love it~"), talking about their day one moment and sitting in peaceful silence in another, Sae finds that he no longer regrets his decision.
This progression of events that has led him up to this point feels like it has always been met to happen. It's as natural as the setting sun and rising moon, a seed taken away from its dying mother to be planted again, a slow but worthwhile act of something lost being found. In fact, he thinks it's the best one he's ever made.
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ihaveatheoryonthat · 2 years
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Whumptober Day 26: No One Left Behind
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Some number of years ago, Elesa had commented that Emmet and Ingo could enlist a dedicated team of Cinccino to deep clean, and still not be rid of the Joltik infesting their apartment.
They were currently facing a similar conundrum with the remaining missing posters.
Emmet had been happy to get rid of them, seeing no need to linger on that portion of his life, but he’d underestimated just how desperate he’d been back in the thick of things. It seemed like every other time someone went to get something from the closet or shook out a blanket, a wayward bulletin would tumble out, unwilling to be left in the past.
Ironic, considering where their subject had wound up, but after months of finding the fliers at inconvenient times-- which was also a little on the nose-- Emmet was in no mood to humor the metaphor. He knew there was no forgetting what had happened, but it would be nice not to face a reminder every six hours.
Ingo never breathed a word about the posters, but there was something going on there. On more than one occasion, Emmet had glanced over to find his twin staring at his own likeness with a closed off expression, even for him. He refused to walk over and snatch the offending leaflets away, but, whenever he found one himself, was quick to fold it into haphazard fourths before anyone saw.
It was a little strange; trashing the greater portion of them had been cathartic, a definitive end to their function and his isolation, but when it was just one here or there, it was almost sad. There was a time in his life when they’d represented a thread of hope, when he’d scattered them so thoroughly that now it was harder to be rid of them than to find one. With that not-so-distant memory attached, picking one up and throwing it away almost felt like giving up, even though, at worst, Ingo was just a room away.
Even more grating was the knowledge that, even if Emmet succeeded in cleaning them all out, there would be some he didn’t have jurisdiction over; at one point, while weighing the pros and cons of interrupting Ingo’s staring contest with himself, he’d caught his brother shuffle the paper to the back of his document stack, and then deliberately take it to his room. In hindsight, it seemed a sure thing that the other sheets he’d handled thusly met the same fate. Emmet had no earthly idea what reason his twin could have for collecting his missing posters, but, going by his demeanor, it couldn’t be productive.
And then the hangup was all but shoved into his lap.
“How… how many did you make?” Ingo asked, eyes dropping to the block of text.
Trusting that he’d been seen in the peripheral vision, Emmet tossed his hands up and gestured one way and then the other, to the apartment as a whole. When it failed to elicit a response, he dropped them and said, “Only Arceus knows.”
Without looking up from the paper, Ingo raised a hand to knead at the space between his eyes.
“How many variations did you make?” He tried again, a moment later.
That, at least, was a question mortal men could answer. “I believe I was up to six.”
“Why?”
“They would frequently be damaged or tear away. It was prudent to replace them.”
“That explains the quantity,” Ingo said dryly, “Not the content.”
Save for the brief warble of paper, the room lapsed into a heavy silence.
“People began to ignore them.” Emmet admitted after a moment. “They became part of the background. If the pictures changed, people looked. It only made sense to update the information accordingly, as well.”
The hand at Ingo’s forehead dropped to idle at his chin, half obscuring his face for all that that mattered. At one point, he inhaled audibly and moved as though he were about to say something, but didn’t follow through.
Gently, even-toned as always, Emmet asked, “Can you explain what you are thinking right now?”
“I just wish that I was still--” The response was nearly immediate-- hasty and, therefore, unfiltered up to the point where Ingo caught up to himself and snapped his mouth shut.
Well that made sense under the circumstances, didn’t it?
Emmet closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to figure out how in the world he could help with this ongoing identity crisis. Before he could formulate an adequate response, though, he was preempted.
“I’m not the person you were looking for.”
“Ingo. That’s not--”
There was the sound of movement and paper warping under a mild breeze. He opened his eyes just in time to see his brother press the sheet to his chest and turn away.
“Memories are ephemeral; if you want to hold onto him, you’ll need something more substantial. I just worry that you’re discarding these prematurely.”
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healerelowen · 2 years
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Alright, fine, I give in. You guys can have some Eloist drabbles. Though, I am open to anything you guys can come up with even if it’s just a small scenario. You can just @ me in a post or send it to me in my inbox. Anyways, I hope you enjoy and have a good rest of your day/night!
Eloist Headcanons! 
Ship dynamic: Tall, organized, curious, and observant woman with Short, shy, compassionate, and curious boy
Archivist is definitely the dominant one in the relationship because I’m shy and introverted while she’s a lot more extroverted and enjoys talking to a lot of people at once. 
She also respects the fact that I can get overwhelmed easily if forced to talk to people and is sure to check in on me every once in a while to make sure I’m doing okay.
We could rant to each other about even our most obscure interests for HOURS. It’s one of the ways we spend quality time together! Which is good because we both love it when we rant to each other.
Speaking of quality time, that’s just one way we show our affection for each other. Our biggest and number one way of affection is by physical means; kisses, hugs, nuzzling, head pats, ect.
Another type of affection we use, that is much stronger on Archivist’s part, is words of affirmation! Archivist throws mounts of flirtatious remarks and compliments at me(Metaphorically) whenever she gets the chance. She really thinks it’s adorable how I stammer and stutter all flustered trying to think of what to say as my face just turns as red as a tomato. 
That doesn’t stop me from complimenting her however, as there have been a few accounts where I do make her blush from the little compliments I give her. 
A different type of affection that’s stronger on my part is gift giving! I love giving my beloved Archivist any gifts that I think she would like! Crystals, cool looking rocks, art of her, feathers, quills, anything. She enjoys the little gifts that I give her, and always keeps them in a safe and secure area to admire and add to them. 
Now you might be asking, ‘But how would the other Uberbots feel about you and the Archivist clearly having a romantic thing going on?’ and I’m glad you asked;
P03: Probably the least approving of it. Mostly because he thinks that I’m being a “distraction” for Archivist. Definitely nags me about it and I’ll admit, me trying to bite his arm off every time he does probably doesn’t help. We both argue about it for sure, but usually Archivist or any other Uberbot for that matter is quick to shut things down before things get too heated. And God forbid he goes off on Archivist. If he does well, let’s just say the aftermath isn’t going to be pretty. Other than that, he finds it annoying but doesn’t really care.    
The Photographer: The Photographer is pretty supportive and really doesn’t mind as long as we don’t do anything too rambunctious. Definitely is the one to tell P03, “Hey, this is Elowen and Archivist’s relationship, not yours. Don’t tell them how to live their love life. Leave them alone.” Does P03 listen? For a good 3 hours at best before he starts nagging at me again. All in all, The Photographer just wants the best for both us and our relationship and is always there to help out if needed. 
The Unfinished Boss: Another one that is supportive. More curious about relationships and how ours works rather than just going off on speculation. The Unfinished Boss just wants the best for both us and their fellow Uberbots.
G0lly: Super supportive and is absolutely ecstatic that one of her fellow Uberbots has found someone they love! Why, to her we’re just so cute together! And she’s definitely the one to teasingly ask, “So when’s the wedding?” much to P03’s dismay. G0lly is just trying to be a very sweet and supporting friend and she’s handling that role expertly!  
Archivist is very sweet and patient. Her caring nature is honestly the best thing I could ever ask for from anyone, not just a partner.
And my curious and compassionate nature is a fresh breath of air for her, as my curiosity about her interests make her feel heard and cared for. 
Archivist also can have some pretty bad episodes with stress that she keeps bottled up, and you know full well that I’m going to be there for her the moment I get word that she’s stressed. She appreciates that caring and compassionate side of me, always willing to help her in her time of need. 
And of course, Archivist is always willing to help me with the same amount of kindness that I give her tenfold. That’s what we love most about each other, after all~   
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fakeloveaskblog · 1 year
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(Hi, me again. And after spending an embarrassingly long time figuring out what teleportation would be like, here’s what I got.)
You’re all ready? Okay then off we go!
Everything around Janus and Logan begins to warp and distort, and colours brighten and swirl as the world begins to shift. Gravity seems to give out and for just a second they are both weightless. They float for a second suspended in the air as their surroundings shift around them before they are suddenly pulled of to the side, crashing through the wall and into another dimension entirely.
The dimension known as the Void is unsurprisingly black as far as the eyes can see broken up by flashes of light and a kaleidoscope of swirling colours. There are a great many sounds. Crashes, bangs, screams, a hauntingly beautiful violin and many more all blend together in a terrifying cacophony of noise. The Void muffling the sound and giving the effect of being underwater.
A high pitched ringing fills their ears as they are pulled through at a rapid pace unable to take a breath. Occasionally catching glimpses of some familiar faces amongst the various eldritch abominations that inhabit the Void as they fly by.
A blue featureless ghost throwing cups at what appears to be floating targets.
A demon like entity with large pointed horns wreathed in shadow that almost completely obscured them with an army of plushies.
A pink otherworldly snail with eyes all over his shell in a small fancy top hat conversing with a group of tiny snails about plans to increase their numbers.
All of a sudden they are thrust out of the Void and onto the pavement were ,after getting their bearings, they found themselves outside the Natural History Museum in London.
Well here we are I’ve already bought you tickets and here’s a guidebook of you want to take a look at the sights and… oh dear are you all right, your looking a little green. Here’s a bucket if you need it. I know Void travel can be a bit nauseating for those who aren’t used to it. Just let me know when you’re ready to go.
Glow Eyes
Janus was holding onto his boyfriend like a shaking chihuahua. He thankfully took your bucket and hugged onto it while closing his eyes tightly to try and stop the dizzyness.
Logan had a calm smile on his lips as he took the guidebook and immediately started eyeing the information. He let out a light sigh as he rolled his shoulders back.
"that teleportation reminded me of when Patty used to drive me back in the day before I got my license. How pleasant"
"What kind of fucking car rides-" Janus' words trailed off as they also got busy looking at the information "Darling if we get time over we can go vandalise Margaret Thatcher's grave and then try to steal the crown jewels"
"Sounds like a great plan deary"
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tyonfs · 3 years
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cat & mouse
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❝ rule number one of bro code states that sisters are completely off-limits, and, y/n, we just pushed that limit. ❞
PAIRING ▸ na jaemin x fem!reader
GENRES ▸ smut, crack, fluff, college au, friends with benefits au
WARNINGS ▸ lots of !! sexual tension !! and jaemin acting like a dick, protective big brother!jaehyun, lots of sneaking around, jaemin calls you princess a lot, teasing, fingering, alcohol consumption, hooking up, thigh riding, smut, oral sex, aftercare
SUMMARY ▸ tired of meaningless hookups and dull parties, na jaemin had always been hesitant to indulge himself. that is, of course, until he met you. however, upon realizing you’re none other than jeong jaehyun’s little sister, jaemin has to keep his relationship with you under wraps to make sure his team captain doesn’t find out. 
PLAYLIST ▸ move! by niki • playinwitme by kyle (feat. kehlani)
WORD COUNT ▸ 17713 words
TAG LIST ▸ @chubsluda​ @celestialchans​ @treasurestay​ @luvlyjaemin​ @lanadreamie​ @kylomeyon​ @taehinsano​ @jenotation​ @ovelha-colorida-v​ @hrjflrt​ @to-blessed-2-be-stressed​ @honeyju​ @chanluster​ @sweetjaemss​ @najaemsenthusiastttt​ @neovrse​ @jjikyuu​ @treasurestay​ @ahgastayzen​ @wcnderlandss​ @jaehy9ngs​ @jaemxins​ @syhznanny​ @lilminyoongles​ @bbnana​
AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ thank you so much for all of your love and support !! it’s beyond me & i hope you guys enjoy this ! part of the dunk shot! series but it can be read separately ♡
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NA JAEMIN HATED PARTIES.
In the same vein, he hated basketball to an extent. It wasn’t the sport itself that he despised, it was the commitments that followed it. As a vital player on the team, he was obligated to attend every afterparty despite how much he loathed parties. Yet, what he couldn’t stand was being nagged by his teammates, so Jaemin went to the parties. He went to the parties and drank until he was numb and the party was tolerable.
He didn’t even like drinking that much, but he didn’t have much of a choice when most of the members of the basketball team were his seniors. Jaemin was pretty sure his brain cells depleted one-by-one every time he took a shot, but sometimes he got away with faking his alcohol intake when the others were too drunk to keep track. His best friend, Lee Jeno, on the other hand, lived for parties like this. Jaemin used that to his advantage; Jeno was the perfect target to hand off his unwanted shots to.
“Jaemin!” Jeong Jaehyun, the captain of the basketball team, made his presence known easily. After all, the parties were always hosted at his house. “Let’s do a love shot.”
If it were anyone else, Jaemin would’ve turned them down with some sarcastic, witty comeback. However, Jaehyun was different. Jaemin admired him since they were high schoolers on the basketball team. Jaehyun was two years older but his skills were on another level. Jaemin had always worked to see if he could surpass him but to no avail.
“Sure.” Jaemin got off of the couch, where he was aimlessly scrolling through his social media and observing the party. He followed Jaehyun to the kitchen counter. “You got tequila?”
It was a stupid question. Jaehyun was loaded; his supply of alcohol seemed endless.
“Of course,” Jaehyun replied. He took a red solo cup and measured a shot of tequila. “By the way, why don’t you talk to any of the girls here? You seem tense. You should get laid.”
It wasn’t like Jaemin intentionally avoided the girls. He just had no interest in people who wanted to blindly hook-up and forget about it the next morning. He didn’t completely ignore them either. Jaemin distinctly remembered a pretty blonde passing him her vape pen, which he politely refused. While he didn’t mind destroying his liver, he wanted to keep his lungs intact.
“There’s no one here I want to fuck,” was Jaemin’s impassive response. “Especially not when they’re drunk off their ass.”
“Is that so? How much did you drink tonight?”
“This is my third or fourth shot, I think.”
Jaehyun snorted and held out the red solo cup to him. “Well, here’s to your intact virginity.”
“I’m not a virgin.” Jaemin took the cup and swished its contents around. “Can’t we toast to something more practical? Like basketball?”
A chuckle escaped Jaehyun’s lips, bemused like a father to his son. He eyed Jaemin as he held the red solo cup to his lips. “Ready?”
Jaehyun didn’t wait for Jaemin, though. He tipped his cup up, downing the contents, and Jaemin followed suit as quickly as he could. The tequila was a smooth burn down his throat, but it made Jaemin feel slow and hazy. The fire spread across his chest, spreading to his arms, legs, and then his head. He felt fuzzy and was sure he had hit his limit for the night.
Jaemin took an unstable step forward, and Jaehyun put a firm hand on his shoulder, asking, “You good?” to which Jaemin answered with a dazed nod. With a grin, Jaehyun patted his back firmly. “See you when we’re both conscious again, man.”
The next thirty minutes were a blur. Jaemin found himself at a beer pong table and, in his drunken state, pretended he was practicing his free throws while he relished the crowd cheering him on. He felt a pair of hands on his shoulders, cheering wildly at the side until he got a headache. Eventually, the house felt too stuffy and he decided to go out to the backyard to let his buzz fade out.
Outside wasn’t any better. The cheers were louder outside and the music was still blasting. The fog in Jaemin’s head thickened and he was sure he felt hands trying to guide him to the pool, but he brushed them off. He narrowed his eyes onto a lawn chair and willed himself to walk straight towards it.
Sit, he ordered himself. Do not get in the pool and make a fool out of yourself.
After pushing past a few of his teammates and the girls hovering around them, Jaemin’s knees buckled under him as soon as he got to the lawn chair. It was damp when he sat down, but he was too drunk and dazed to care. Jaemin looked up at the sky, unfocused, and was only pulled from his thoughts when his phone went off.
annoying jeno: where tf did u go? this girl wants me to introduce her to u
It was time for another shot.
Jaemin felt heavy. He sat up, running a hand through his disheveled hair, and spotted a red solo cup on the side table to his right. He reached for it and inspected the contents, sloshing it around sluggishly until he noticed a pair of eyes boring into him.
You were isolating yourself from the rest of the party, just like him. You weren’t giving him the sex eyes like he had expected; you looked more confused. Unlike Jaemin, you looked much more sober and functional. It was painfully obvious by the way Jaemin couldn’t seem to focus on you without seeing double.
He wasn’t sure if it was because of the alcohol in his system, but Jaemin had no idea who you were, but fuck, he wanted to. He pushed it down, though. Hookups were never fulfilling, and Jaemin wasn’t here to let himself go.
“Why are you staring at me?” Jaemin asked in a low voice, trying to speak coherently without slurring his words. He wasn’t sure if it worked, but you seemed to understand.
To his surprise, you fired a question back at him. “What are you doing?”
Jaemin wasn’t sure how to answer that. He was obviously drunk off his ass, so what was he supposed to explain when it was clear as day?
“Waiting for this stupid party to be over,” Jaemin replied. He dropped his gaze back to the cup he held on his lap. “Why are you still staring? I’m not interested.”
“You’re holding my drink.”
Jaemin stilled. He looked between you and the cup for a moment before muttering a pathetic “oh.” He flushed and held the cup out to you. “Sorry.”
You took the cup gingerly and downed your shot before advising him, “You know, you shouldn’t be taking random cups and drinking from them at parties. You never know what they could be laced with.”
Jaemin’s head lolled to the side, a heavy sigh escaping his lips. He didn’t want to join the party, but he didn’t want to sit back and be scolded. He was debating making a run for the fence in Jaehyun’s backyard. His house was only a few blocks away and he was pretty sure he’d be sober enough to make it. Jeno, however, was the obstacle he was worried about. If he ran off without telling Jeno (who was going to disapprove anyway), he was sure to get an earful the next day.
“Also,” you continued, “don’t go around assuming every girl who looks in your general direction wants to fuck you.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Jaemin grumbled, too drained to argue back. “Shouldn’t you be partying with everyone? It’s depressing over here.”
“This isn’t my party to celebrate,” you said, biting down on the rim of your cup delicately. “I’m just here for the drinks.”
Jaemin didn’t know what to say to that, so he decided to introduce himself. “I’m Na Jaemin, by the way.”
“Y/N,” you replied. “Pleasure to meet you, Na Jaemin.”
Jaemin’s eyelashes were obscuring his vision as he tried to squint to make you out. He wasn’t sure if it was the drunken stupor, but you were breathtaking. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing that Jaemin was currently seeing double of you. Jaemin wasn’t sure how he had ever missed you at any of the other parties (if you even showed up to those), but he was glad he snuck away to the backyard now.
Jaemin turned back to look at the scene before him, full of shrieks and shouts from partygoers as they danced off-beat to the blasting music. He almost didn’t notice the ultimate bastard, Yuta Nakamoto, walking over with his eyes set on not Jaemin, but you. Yuta only seemed to see Jaemin when he neared the two and, despite the awkward pause in the air, held his hand up to fistbump him. Jaemin lazily returned it, not really processing until seconds later when Yuta had already passed him.
It wasn’t that Yuta and Jaemin had any bad blood between them. Rather, Jaemin found the older boy quite fun to be around, and on top of that, he was a really supportive and caring teammate. However, when it came to parties, Yuta tended to be a lot more high-energy than Jaemin was.
“Hey, Y/N,” Yuta crooned deviously, standing over you with his hands shoved in his pockets. He crouched down so he was at eye-level with you, holding onto the arm of your chair. “Care to dance with me?”
“Yuta Nakamoto,” you drawled, a smile appearing on your lips. “I’m good over here, but you go have fun.”
Yuta stood up again, a cat-like grin spreading from ear-to-ear across his face as he stepped back toward the pool. “You’re gonna miss out, Y/N. You cool with that?”
The smile never left your lips as you rolled your eyes at him. Yuta turned to dive into the pool, making Jaemin’s nose scrunch as the splash was big enough to get water on his clothes. When Yuta surfaced, he smoothed his hair back and wiped the excess water from his face. He caught your eye again, winking before swimming toward Jungwoo and splashing him, leaving you shaking your head and chuckling.
“You two close?” Jaemin asked in a mumble, not quite sure where he was going with the sudden conversation.
You were shocked momentarily, but smiled when you looked over at Jaemin. “Let’s just say he wants to get in my pants but I find the age gap inappropriate.”
Jaemin snorted. “Really? How old are you?”
“Nineteen.”
Jaemin rose a brow. He was just a year older than you but not so far off from Yuta. He hadn’t seen many college students be so conscious of a legal age difference of a year or two. After all, nearly everyone was an adult anyway.
“That’s not so far off from Yuta,” he told you.
You hid a smile, nearly going unnoticed under the dim light, but Jaemin had just caught it in time. “He’s like, my brother’s age,” you replied. “It’s just weird.”
Jaemin didn’t really get it, but he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to. He was an only child so he didn’t really think his opinion was valid anyway. Yet, he must have been looking at you weird because you bit your lip and shrunk under his gaze. Jaemin swallowed and turned back to look down at his feet, trying to get his head out of the clouds, but the buzz was still too strong.
He couldn’t stop himself from blurting out, “What if it was me?”
“Huh?”
He wasn’t looking at you but he could feel your gaze boring into him. Jaemin wanted to melt into a puddle then and there. He was never the type to make a move like that, usually expecting girls to approach him, but now that he did, his skin was crawling with shame. Although, he figured it wouldn’t be too bad if he ended the night in bed with you.
Jaemin worked up the courage to turn his gaze to you. “I’m a year older than you. Would you be down if it was me?”
“Yeah,” you admitted bluntly, causing the tips of Jaemin’s ears to go red. “But I don’t know you, so…”
“Do you want to?” he asked, then clarified, “Get to know me, I mean.”
The two of you were silent for a moment, and it was far more deafening than the booming party around them. Jaemin’s gaze dropped from your face to look back at the college students wading around in the pool. Someone must have messed with the pool because it had started to fill up with bubbles, making the crowd cheer louder. Entranced, Jaemin nearly didn’t notice you when you were standing right over him. He arched a brow at you, scooting back a little out of shock.
“Do you want to get out of here then?”
You were smiling coyly and Jaemin didn’t have the willpower to resist anymore. He stood up, looking around for Jeno, before turning to you and nodding. Everyone was so consumed with the pool foaming up that it would be easy for them to escape from the backyard.
“I’m way too drunk to drive, but we can go for a walk,” Jaemin suggested, leading her out through the backyard fence. He had escaped from there countless times, only for Jeno to drag him back, but this time, Jeno was preoccupied.
Yet, something unsettled him about not informing his best friend, so he decided to shoot him a quick text.
jaemin: i’ll see u back home, i’m with a girl lol
annoying jeno: deadass? have fun
Now, at least Jaemin had one thing off his chest.
“So what’s your deal?” Jaemin asked you as he tried to focus on walking in a straight line. “You have guys like Yuta Nakamoto lining up for you and you’re passing up my boy?”
“If he’s your boy then why are you trying to make a pass at me?” you shot back, grabbing his arm to provide leverage when he stumbled.
“Touché,” Jaemin grumbled. “It’s not like he was scoring, so I might as well shoot my shot.”
“Did you score?”
The corner of Jaemin’s mouth twitched. “That’s for you to decide, isn’t it?”
Mutual attraction was such a strange feeling because the sexual tension was there and so loud. Granted, about 90% of it came from Jaemin, but something about the way you were still holding onto his arm and laughing at his stupid jokes made him feel like something was going to happen tonight.
“We should stargaze,” you offered, pointing at a grassy hill behind a park the both of you were passing by. Jaemin nodded in response, so you dragged him by the arm to the chosen location.
Stargazing meant laying down, and laying down meant not having to focus on walking in a straight line anymore, so it sounded absolutely heavenly to Jaemin right now. Somehow, he felt like such an amateur right now. No girl had ever asked him to lay down and stargaze with him; they always just skipped to the bedroom fun.
You let go of Jaemin to lay down on the grass, positioning yourself like a starfish before patting the space next to you and then moving your hands to rest on your stomach. You looked entranced with the stars above you, but the moment Jaemin laid down next to you, you turned to him, catching him off-guard. Jaemin’s eyes flickered from you to the sky above.
“The stars are beautiful,” he said weakly.
He couldn’t even see the fucking stars.
“Damn, I thought you were gonna call me beautiful for a second,” you teased, nudging his shoulder lightly.
“You wish,” Jaemin said with a light snort, swallowing thickly. “There’s no way I’m calling a girl that over my dead body.”
He was a terrible liar. It was clear when Na Jaemin was feeling lustful. His eyes would turn half-lidded and his voice would drop a few octaves. Right now, all of that was happening along with his fingers twitching at his sides. You were looking back up at the sky when he turned his head to look at you, and god, you were so pretty.
“Girls must come running for you,” you told him, “otherwise I really can’t figure out the ego.”
“That’s the problem when you’re a star basketball player and devilishly handsome.” Jaemin grinned, folding his arms behind his head. “You turn out like me.”
“How mortifying.”
“I know, right?” Jaemin turned onto his side for a brief moment to look at you. “How come I’ve never seen you around before. I’m sure I would’ve remembered…”
“Because I’m beautiful?” you offered.
Jaemin groaned, pink dusting his cheeks. “Why are you so fixed on that?”
You laughed in response while Jaemin just stared at the heartstopping curve of your lips. He felt himself grow hot, anticipation mixed with the weight of the situation. He had never been the type to feel so jittery around a girl, but here he was, a touch anxious because he was afraid of doing something wrong.
“That’s Orion’s Belt there,” you pointed out. “Can you see Betelgeuse?”
You turned to look at Jaemin to see if you had his attention, but did a double-take upon realizing that you, in fact, had his full attention. His eyes were directly on you, not the night sky above. The both of you were so painfully close, and Jaemin couldn’t resist when he reached over to brush a few strands of hair behind your ear.
“I can’t see the stars,” he mumbled, his large hand moving to cup your cheek. When your gazes were locked, he caressed your cheek with his thumb gently and leaned in to kiss you.
Well, he was about to kiss you until he felt your finger pressing against his lips.
“I’m down for whatever,” you told him sweetly, “but I don’t kiss on the first date.”
Jaemin wasn’t sure what to make of that. Sure, he found it a little weird, but he could see the reasoning behind it. You were probably one of those people who saved your kisses for something special—whatever that meant. Honestly, Jaemin didn’t really care about the significance, but he did know it would be amplified if he found “the one.”
“So this is a date now?” he asked, amused.
“Somewhat.”
Jaemin huffed lightly and leaned back, letting his hand retract back to his side. “Down for whatever? Even sex?”
You raised a very attractive eyebrow at him, making Jaemin short-circuit for a split second. “If you play your cards right,” you said airily, your voice all light and fluffy.
“Down for whatever but the offer isn’t extended to anyone over the age of twenty-one.”
You punched his shoulder hard this time. “Bite me.”
“Don’t mind if I do.”
Whatever made Jaemin’s confidence swell was taking over fast. In seconds, Jaemin propped himself up with his elbow, using his free hand to brush your hair to the side and tilting your neck so he could have easier access to it.
To test the waters, Jaemin nipped at your supple skin, earning a hitch in your slowed breathing that encouraged him to do more. Jaemin left open-mouthed kisses down your neck, sucking harshly with each one. He licked his lips when he pulled away to look at your neck. You were tough to bruise but he loved a challenge. He maneuvered his body over you so he could indulge himself further, holding himself up with his forearms.
Jaemin dipped under your chin again, ravishing the side of your neck that he targeted. He littered the column of your neck with dark hickeys, smirking against your skin upon the sight. You were a squirming mess under him, tugging at his hair and bucking your hips up against his. Jaemin grunted softly, his hands pushing your hips down so you could no longer tempt him.
You wrapped your hands around him, one hand sliding up the nape of his neck to curl your fingers in his hair. Hands weren’t normally something that made Jaemin weak, but yours were driving him crazy with one in his hair and the other bunching up the fabric of his shirt.
He cupped the apex of your jeans, smug as you whined at his touch, yearning for more. Jaemin’s free hand grazed your waist before he lowered it to your hip. He pulled away from your neck to meet your gaze, biting his lip at your lustful expression.
“Can I?” he asked, pressing down slightly against your apex.
You nodded, about to say something but got cut off when Jaemin moved his hand down and palmed your clothed clit. Jaemin smirked once he heard the soft sigh falling from your lips. His breathing got heavier, mixing with yours as he started fumbling to unbutton your jeans.
You looked up at him through half-lidded eyes. “Jaemin…”
Jaemin swallowed hard and tugged your jeans down your hips a little. He felt like he was losing control with every touch. He just wanted to hold you in his arms and spend the rest of the night with you, and it was impossible to shake off that feeling when you were looking at him like that.
He playfully snapped the waistband of your panties, letting out a chuckle when your face twisted up and you pushed at his chest. Then, you drew him closer again and guided his hand down your pants. Jaemin took a shaky breath when he felt how wet you were. It filled him with pride, of course, but he had suddenly felt so nervous. He had hooked up with girls before, but this felt weird to him. Different, to an extent. They were just going through the motions, but he was struck with some strange feeling that he didn’t want to mess up or do something wrong. It was like his first time all over again when he had no idea what he was doing.
His silent cry for help was answered with rain.
“Jesus, it’s raining now?” Jaemin asked with a disapproving huff, pulling his hand out of your pants. He wondered if the people in Jaehyun’s backyard were going to move back inside or keep partying through rain and storm.
“It is?” You frowned and reached a hand over him to catch some raindrops. “You make a nice umbrella, Na Jaemin.”
“How kind of you,” Jaemin replied, a bit distracted by the rain pelting his back. “Should we make a run back to Jaehyun’s or do you want to, like…”
“Do I want to do it outside in the rain?” you asked, quirking a brow at him. “Absolutely not.”
“Worth a shot.”
Jaemin hauled himself up to his feet, holding a hand out for you so you could stand. You started patting down your clothes and fixing your fly. Jaemin did the same, making sure he looked presentable but he kept quiet about the dark hickey on the side of your neck. He squinted up at the drizzle of rain from the sky.
Cockblock, Jaemin thought bitterly.
Yet another distraction came in the form of a text message. Specifically, a text message from Lee Jeno.
annoying jeno: i’m going back to the apartment and ik ur with a girl but i left the keys at home so pls open the door
“Son of a bitch,” Jaemin grumbled to himself. He shoved his phone back in his pocket and looked at you when he noticed your questioning stare. Jaemin ran his hands down your arms, then held your waist gently. “I have to go.”
“Go?” you asked him, startled.
“Yeah,” Jaemin replied with a sigh, not wanting to divulge how idiotic his roommate was. “Can I get your number?”
This perked you right up, thankfully. Jaemin was satisfied as he watched you enter your phone number in his phone. This almost made him feel better about having to leave you alone to walk back to Jaehyun’s house in the rain.
Scratch that. He still felt like a piece of shit.
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Jaemin slept off the party rather well.
He was in a bit of a mood, however, seeming tired and cranky in the morning. He had nearly thrown his phone at Jeno’s face when his best friend tried to shake him awake in the morning. It was a miracle that he showed up on time for his lecture. Around the afternoon, he received a text from you and was far more awake and alert after that. By the time he got to basketball, though, he was in a much better mood.
That is, until Jaehyun called for a team meeting.
The basketball team members were all sitting on the bleachers, waiting for a pissed-off Jaehyun to speak. Jeno picked at his nails next to Jaemin while YangYang in front of them was fiddling with the basketball. Jaehyun was only ever serious during games, but now his anger showed in a subtle and scary way that even Taeyong was a bit shaken by the change in his mood.
“Now, I’m going to say this once and you all better listen up carefully,” Jaehyun said in a low, dangerous voice. “If anyone—and I mean anyone—lays a hand on my little sister, then I will make sure you look uglier than you already are.”
Taeyong whistled lowly, impressed.
“Yuta,” Jaehyun continued, eyes narrowing at the older boy, “this message was inspired by you.”
“Received, reflecting, and apologizing,” Yuta said, holding his hands up in surrender. “I’ll back off, Captain.”
“Good,” Jaehyun replied curtly as Yuta and Taeyong started to banter playfully over the topic.
Jaemin was unsettled. Jaehyun was upset over someone going after his younger sister? Now, Yuta was a flirt, but he recalled him pining for you last night and there was no way you were Jaehyun’s sister, right?
“Hey, Jeno.” Jaemin nudged the boy with his elbow. “Who exactly is Jaehyun’s sister?”
“Isn’t it Jeong Y/N?” he answered.
Goodbye world, was Jaemin’s first thought.
Yuta was flirting with you last night, but Jaemin straight-up nearly fingered you and—oh god, the hickey. Jaemin was at the end of his line right now, and if you said anything to Jaehyun, he was sure he was going to get his ass beat. He was starting to regret giving up his non-hookup life because of you; the only person Jaemin was flirting with now was Death.
“You good?” Jeno’s brows were knitted in concern.
“Jeno.” Jaemin swallowed down the dry lump in his throat. “Remember how I told you I was with a girl last night?”
“Yeah?” Jeno asked, searching Jaemin’s eyes for an answer. He found it rather quickly, eyes widening and voice dropping to a whisper. “Oh my god.” His gaze flickered from Jaemin to Jaehyun several times. “What are you going to do?”
“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Jaemin whispered back. “We were both drunk. I’ll just ghost her subtly and she’ll forget about me. Easy.”
Jeno raised a brow at his plan. “Is hooking up with Jaehyun’s little sister worse than breaking her heart?”
“Oh please, it was one night. Give it a day or two. She won’t give a fuck.” Even though I kind of do, he added in his head.
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The next time Jaemin saw you was after practice ended a few days later.
It had to be impossible that you could look any better than you did the last time he saw you, but here you were. It was unfair, really. Jaemin was a college student that was amped up with testosterone and hormones, and now he had no place to channel it. He was a second away from dragging you into an empty room and letting himself go with you, but then he remembered your older brother, and the horny thoughts dissolved into fear and shame.
“Ah, Jaemin,” you greeted with a cheerful smile.
Fuck, why did you have to be so cute?
Jaemin opened his mouth to reply, but quickly closed it and looked away from you. He leaned against the side of the bleachers and sighed while you were puzzled by his behavior. Although he wanted to ignore you, you were right there and the two of you were alone. Jaemin knew that the other guys wouldn’t be out of the locker rooms for another five minutes.
His gaze dropped to your hickey. It was so clear that you didn’t bother trying to cover it up, and the sight made Jaemin feel proud in some twisted way. Instinctively, he reached over and brushed his thumb over the sensitive bruise, smirking when you shivered.
“It looks good on you,” Jaemin complimented.
“Thanks.” You scoffed, then a mischievous glint shone in your eyes. “Maybe you should give me some more then.”
Jaemin stiffened, in a lot more ways than he should’ve. He gritted his teeth, willing the blood not to rush down all at once. He could not get horny at school when Jaehyun could walk out any second. And the older boy did. Jaemin backed away from you instantly, acting as if you were just some stranger passing by.
“I’ll pass,” he muttered under his breath and was sure you heard when he saw your face drop.
Great. Now he felt like an asshole.
“I gotta go,” he mumbled quickly before you could say anything else, moving past you to walk over to Jeno, high-fiving Jaehyun as he did. Jaemin didn’t have time to register your expression, but nevertheless, he felt like shit.
Jeno looked suspicious as Jaemin approached him. “Did you…”
“End it?” Jaemin finished for him. “I think so.”
“Can you just stop being a dick and talk to her?”
Ticked off, Jaemin took a deep breath. “If I talk to her, then one thing will lead to another, and Jaehyun—”
“Jaemin,” Jeno interrupted. “This isn’t about Jaehyun. This is about you and Y/N.”
Jaemin screamed out something incomprehensible and put his hands over his ears. “I can’t hear you, Lee Jeno. Can’t hear you over me getting ready to go to a party and get wasted tonight.”
“Na Jaemin, you’re my best friend but you’re an idiot.”
“I know that.” Jaemin made a face. “But it’s time for me to go and forget that.”
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Jaemin never failed to forget how much he hated parties. He was starting to regret showing up in the first place. One of his teammates, Jungwoo, had let him into his frat party. Normally, guys were selectively chosen because the frat boys wanted more girls, but Jaemin was wasting his opportunity of getting in by doing absolutely nothing.
This was why he didn’t like drinking. He wasn’t even fun when he was drunk; Jeno was a social butterfly, Yuta was a flirt, but Jaemin would just wonder if plants existed and think about you.
“You look pissed off,” Jungwoo observed, holding out a red dixie cup to him. “Are you sure you want to party?”
“Yes,” Jaemin grumbled, taking the cup from him and downing it in seconds. “I need to let go.”
“Of?”
“Myself.”
Jaemin patted Jungwoo’s back firmly and moved to the kitchen to pour himself another shot. He didn’t know what he was thinking. He let himself get all worked up over some girl he barely even hooked up with. All he did was kiss your neck and here Jaemin was, looking like some cheap, heartbroken loser.
Oh, Jaemin thought out of the blue. I never told her she was pretty.
Jaemin took another shot, closing his eyes firmly as he thought of laying next to you again under the stars. Your lips looked so soft and kissable, your eyes so curious and alluring. He tried to push it away and focus on the party and getting drunk, but you kept appearing in his head like a mirage.
Let go, Jaemin, he told himself. Indulge yourself.
Jaemin leaned against the counter, bored. He sloshed the contents of his cup around, taking another shot when he felt the buzz start to wear out. A pretty brunette walked past him, flashing a coy smile.
He supposed she was one of the cheerleaders, or maybe she was a sorority girl. Either way, she was attractive and Jaemin could use the physical contact tonight. Part of him felt like it was the wrong thing to do, but all he could think about was how annoying it was to overthink every little thing he did.
Jaemin made his way over to her, tapping people’s shoulders and maneuvering his way through the cramped frat house. Everyone was clustered like schools of fish. Jaemin hated this kind of environment, but nevertheless, he put on a mask and did his best to fit in.
“Hey,” he greeted the girl once he found her. “I’m Na Jaemin.”
She smiled in that pretty way again. “I know you. You’re on the basketball team.” She looked embarrassed for a moment, flushing as she tucked loose strands of hair behind her ear. “I bet you don’t know me, though.”
“I don’t,” Jaemin admitted, “but you have a gorgeous smile.”
She beamed at this. “Hey, could you hold my cup for a second?” she asked, holding out her red dixie cup to him.
You want me to hold your cup when you can barely hold a conversation? Jaemin thought distastefully but took the cup anyway.
He leaned against the kitchen counter and waited for her patiently, and when she came back, Jaemin could tell she had left to touch-up her makeup. He could also detect the faintest spritz of perfume, but he wasn’t exactly sure, so he leaned closer to make sure.
Jaemin wasn’t sure how they ended up making out in one of the empty bedrooms upstairs, but by the time she was taking off her bra, he wanted to leave. He did his best not to look as bored as he felt throughout the heavy petting and removal of clothing, but his biggest fuck-up was worse than he had expected.
Even Jaemin himself felt mortified by what had just escaped his lips. By the disgusted look in the girl’s eyes, he was fairly confident this was going to spread around the school. As Jaemin was trying to conjure up some excuse for his actions, the girl stood up and started gathering her clothes.
“I’m not Y/N,” she muttered and left him alone in the room.
“Well, shit,” Jaemin grumbled, running a hand through his tousled hair after she left. “Should’ve told me your name then.”
Jaemin laid back on the bed, putting his hands over his face. He was royally screwed at this point and wondered if he had a shot at redemption. The fact that you were still on his mind was messing with him. Even now, after totally embarrassing himself, he was still stuck on you. To avoid further embarrassment, he pulled out his phone to deflect whatever impulsive action was creeping up his limbs.
jaemin: ok jeno im texting u instead of drunk texting y/n and confessing how badly i wanna kiss her
y/n: hi this is y/n
Jaemin wondered what sin he committed in his past life to get this unlucky.
jaemin: shit
jaemin: don’t talk to me i’m drunk at a party
y/n: jaemin you texted me first
jaemin: ugh i wanna see u so bad
jaemin: wanna make it up to u
y/n: oh my
y/n: you’re a little too drunk for that
y/n: but send me the address. i’ll come over and take you home
Jaemin was 98.75% sure that this was, by far, the stupidest thing he could do. Nevertheless, he shared his address with you and waited for you to come to get him. He hung out with Jungwoo in the meantime, slinging an arm around the older boy’s shoulder and confessing his embarrassing hookup while Jungwoo was high as a kite.
When you texted Jaemin that you were outside the frat house, he opened the door almost instantly. Jaemin couldn’t help the wide grin that spread across his face when you were standing right in front of him. You opened your mouth to say something, but Jaemin cut you off.
“I might have… might have called out your name during a hookup,” he confessed, slurring his words while he tried to speak coherently.
You looked like you were deciding whether to think it was funny or be suspicious over the fact that he tried to hook up with someone and then texted you afterward. Eventually, you ended up laughing at his story, tutting at his actions. Jaemin walked by your side, hands shoved deep in his pockets. He closed his eyes in an attempt to come back to his senses, only to be dragged back onto the sidewalk by you because he was apparently straying into the road.
“How much did you drink?” was your first question and one that Jaemin wasn’t sure he had an answer for.
“Six? Seven shots?” Jaemin counted but lost track after he held up five fingers. “I haven’t gotten this hammered in a while.”
“You’ve been flighty,” you told him. “I thought I wasn’t going to hear from you again.”
Jaemin rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “That was the plan.”
“What?”
End it now, Jaemin, the devious half of his mind instructed. Break it off before it’s too late.
“I don’t exactly do hookups anymore, Y/N,” he said, which wasn’t exactly a lie, but you happened to break that streak for him. But then came the lie. “I’m not looking for anything serious now either, and I’m sure you aren’t.”
They walked in silence onto the campus grounds, turning into the street where the student apartments were. You looked down at your feet, a little more disappointed than Jaemin had expected. More than that, it looked as though you were embarrassed.
Cue Na Jaemin feeling like a douchebag, which he was.
“Aren’t you the one who asked if I wanted to get to know you?” you asked him, brow arched.
Jaemin panicked, his words trapped in his throat for a second. Well, you got him there. He didn’t have a good excuse that made him sound less of a dick. Although, he was already probably about to be blacklisted from your life pretty soon, so it didn’t really matter.
“I was drunk,” Jaemin said as his brain was trying to throw random words at him. “I didn’t know what I was thinking.”
They made it to Jaemin’s apartment, which was thankfully on the first floor because he didn’t think he could stand an awkward elevator ride with you. You didn’t look at Jaemin once, but it didn’t seem as though you were angry. Rather, you looked confused, but Jaemin swallowed down his guilt and took a step back once they were at his door.
“Besides,” he continued shamelessly to deliver the final blow, “you always have Yuta.”
You rolled your eyes at him and stormed off at once after those words. Jaemin was left alone, still looking down at his feet. He let out a long, dragged-out sigh, hitting his head back against the solid wood of his door.
“Idiot,” he scolded himself.
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It took Jaemin a whole week and a half to get over you.
Even then, he didn’t really get over what happened. He just stopped blaming himself for it in front of Jeno and internalized everything else. Talking to Jeno didn’t really help, anyway, because Jaemin would just be hit with the “I told you so” and then be silently judged by his best friend.
Jeno had gone home for the long weekend, though, so Jaemin could finally mope about his apartment without Jeno smacking him upside the head and calling him a loser. Although Jaemin agreed with that, he was tired of remembering how shitty of a person and it was a constant reminder of how he treated you.
Although, he didn’t expect that reminder to physically manifest when he saw you in the hallway of his apartment on Friday night.
“Y/N?” he blurted out impulsively.
Jaemin had just decided to get something from the vending machine, not expecting to see you when he was standing in front of his doorway in his grey sweatpants and lack of shirt. His hair was bedraggled from staying in bed all day after his morning lecture ended. In short, he wasn’t exactly presentable and this wasn’t the look he wanted you to see.
“Jaemin,” you said softly, looking a bit startled. “I was just leaving my friend’s place.”
“Look—”
“It’s fine, Jaemin.” You managed a small smile for him. “There’s no hard feelings, okay? Water under the bridge.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah,” you said, biting your lip afterward. “I just hope you’re not one of those guys who ghosts the girl if they don’t get sex out of it.”
Jaemin could feel the ice in your tone but brushed it off. “Honestly, I don’t care about sex that much.”
“Then what do you care about?”
Jaemin fixed his gaze on you, narrowing his eyes. He should have been grateful that you didn’t take it too personally and had forgiven him, but something was off. He didn’t doubt your reasons for being here, but an undercurrent of desire was definitely still there.
His morals were bouncing around his skull, warring with each other. Jaehyun was yelling at him to stop, but you were also there, and so fucking pretty. You wanted him, and he wanted you—it was almost perfect if it weren’t for your overprotective older brother who Jaemin respected too much. Then again, Jaemin had been shouldering too much guilt over the past week. He was sure he could handle some more.
What Jaehyun didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, right?
The hallway was empty, doused with lingering sleep. The world was dark outside but under the dim, flickering hallway light was you. And Jaemin was at his limit; he couldn’t get enough of you.
“Jaemin?” you asked, and something inside him snapped.
He grabbed your hands first before pushing you up against the wall and sealing his lips over yours. Your face morphed into a shocked expression, only making Jaemin amused as he pinned your hands up and over your head. Your lips were so warm and soft, molding against Jaemin’s lips perfectly. He felt your hands wrap around his neck to draw him closer, inciting a soft groan from the back of his throat. It was kind of pathetic that he was already hard, and he was sure you were aware of it by how he was pressed up against your lower body.
Jaemin picked you up effortlessly, scooping you into his arms by your thighs. You let out a little shriek and grabbed onto his shoulders, wrapping your legs around his torso at his encouragement. Jaemin took you into his room, kicking the door closed with his foot before heading to his room and dropping you on his bed.
He had never actually let a girl into his room, so this was a first. Somehow, seeing you on his own bed was so arousing, and he had half a mind to just take you then and there. Jaemin made you sit at the edge of the bed while he stood between your legs, hands on your thighs. You looked confused for a moment, but let Jaemin run his hands up and down your thighs.
You and Jaemin should not be in bed together. Under no circumstances should the two of you even be acquainted in the slightest. The fact that you two met was all one big, cosmic coincidence, but sometimes the stars loved fucking around with human affairs.
“I told you I had to make it up to you,” Jaemin said in a low voice, running his thumb across your bottom lip. “You don’t have to forgive me but I can’t keep being a coward.”
“A coward? More like a douchebag,” you told him, holding his wrist so you could bite the tip of his finger as you looked up at him through your lashes. “But glad you came to your senses.”
“So you forgive me then?”
You smiled, all innocent and pure, unlike your words. “Not unless you make it up to me.”
Jaemin dropped his gaze down to your shorts, eyeing them for a moment before he started tugging them down. You raised your hips to help him take your shorts off, followed by your panties. Jaemin nearly sighed at the sight of you; you were so gorgeous and so ready for him. He wanted to completely blow your mind.
Then, the nerves got to Jaemin again.
“Y/N,” he started, “we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. We can just cuddle or something.”
“Na Jaemin, if you don’t make me cum, I will scream,” you warned.
“Yeah?” Jaemin chuckled at your reaction. “I think you’re going to scream either way, though.”
“Shut up.”
Jaemin laughed, brushing your hair out of your face. He caressed your cheek, rubbing slow circles with his thumb before he dragged it down to your jawline. A small pout appeared on your lips and he ran his thumb over your bottom lip again as if he could wipe your pout away.
“Tell me if you want to stop,” Jaemin said.
Before you could open your mouth to say something, Jaemin plunged his finger in you, thumb quickly finding purchase on your clit and rubbing in slow, languid circles. He wasn’t very satisfied by your shell-shocked silence, so he added a second finger to get you moaning and squirming at his actions.
You gasped when Jaemin curled his fingers, and he relished the dazed expression on your face. He watched your eyelashes flutter and eyelids droop as he scissored his fingers in you, earning him blissful moans from your pretty lips. One of your hands was gripping the sheets at your side while the other was gripping Jaemin’s shoulder tightly. He knew he was doing a good job by the way your walls clenched around his fingers, and it made him swell with pride.
“You’re such an asshole,” you whimpered out, moaning again as he curled his fingers in you.
“Then why do you still want me?” Jaemin hissed. “You should have just hated me. I would have been fine if you weren’t so fucking perfect.”
You cried out as he plunged another finger in you. “Shit, you’re just—oh god.” Jaemin could tell you were at your peak, so he pulled his fingers out of you immediately, smirking at how distressed you looked.
Jaemin popped his fingers in his mouth, sucking off your juices. “You taste so good, princess.”
You scowled at him. “F-finish me off, at least,” you pleaded.
Jaemin gripped your thighs. “Oh, trust me, I will.”
Jaemin lowered himself and met your eyes before he leaned forward and sealed his lips over your clit, sucking harshly on the ball of nerves. You were so sweet and so wet, but what made Jaemin go crazy was the way the both of you locked eyes while he was between your legs. He let out a groan that vibrated against you.
He licked a strip along your slit, pleased with his reward of pants and moans from you. Your thighs squirmed around him so he gripped them harder and moved his hands up to your hips so he could eat you out with more vigor.
Jaemin snaked his tongue along your folds and you were gone. Already edged from being fingered, you were at your peak already. Back arching off the bed and hips squirming, Jaemin tongued your clit as he coaxed you into your orgasm. By the sound of your moans and cries, he felt like he was going to cum in his pants any second if you didn’t stop. You released over his tongue so easily, and Jaemin lapped it up as you made an effort to catch your breath.
At first, Jaemin was over the moon. He hooked up with you and wanted more. You were so enticing and Jaemin couldn’t get enough of you. Then came the crushing guilt. It registered a bit late, but it was all the more painful. He had just eaten out his friend’s little sister and couldn’t help the fact that he wanted her so badly.
“Not bad, Jaemin,” you breathed out, fixing your hair as your thighs still stiffened and twitched every now and then. “Is this the part where you push me away and ghost me for another week?”
Jaemin ran a hand through his hair, battling frustration and shame. “Look,” he started, “the reason I pushed you away was because you didn’t tell me your brother is Jeong Jaehyun!”
“Oh.” You blinked at him. “Yeah, he’s my brother. Is that a problem?” Jaemin let out a heavy sigh and you raised a brow at him. “You got a crush on him or something?”
Jaemin’s expression soured. “No! He’s my friend and teammate, Y/N. There’s an unspoken bro code between us men.”
You rolled your eyes. “Here we go.”
“Rule number one of bro code states that sisters are completely off-limits,” Jaemin said. “And, Y/N, we just pushed that limit.”
“You know, in girl code, we ask the friend for permission,” you offered.
“Jaehyun rounded us up at practice and told us that if anyone lays a hand on his little sister, he’s going to kill them,” Jaemin said. “I’m too young to die.”
You stood up to push Jaemin down by his shoulders, sitting him on the edge of the bed. Jaemin’s breath got caught in his throat when you sat on his lap, right where his bulge was painfully tented beneath his sweatpants. You traced his v-cut abs, making Jaemin shiver in response. He held your hips and swallowed thickly. He was pretty sure he knew where this was going. If you were about to ride him, he was sure he could die a happy man.
“Jaemin, my brother doesn’t control my life, so he’s not killing you over anything, okay?” you reassured him, then leaned in closer, nibbling on his earlobe. Jaemin shivered at the contact, tightening his grip on you. “But, if you’re so worried about it, then we could sneak around.”
A guttural groan escaped Jaemin when you rolled your hips against his. Were you teasing him? Because it was hard for him to think and this distraction wasn’t helping. Either way, all he could think about was making you cum again and seeing that delicate look on your face as you crumbled in front of him.
“Sneak—sneak around?” Jaemin stammered, mouth going dry when you started taking off your shirt, and fuck, you weren’t wearing a bra. “Huh?”
“Jaemin,” you said slowly, smirking as you traced a finger along his jawline. “If you don’t want Jaehyun to catch us, we can just meet up secretly.”
If this was a game of cat and mouse, there was a clear power difference right now; Jaemin felt more like the mouse while you were the cat.
Jaemin’s eyes darkened a bit. “Fuck yeah,” he mumbled, hand grazing your bare skin. His eyes devoured the way you looked, and you wanted to squirm at the hungry look on his face. It was kind of embarrassing how badly Jaemin wanted to skip this whole conversation and fuck you into oblivion.
“Jaemin,” you called again, noting how his eyes flitted from your lips to your eyes.
He gave up. “I’ll be honest. I have no idea what we’re talking about but if we’re keeping this going between us, I’m all for it.”
“Good answer,” you hummed and pressed your lips to his.
You were a damn good kisser, Jaemin observed. He didn’t notice it before, but you had on some sort of fruity chapstick on that was making his head go fuzzy. The taste was addicting, and thank god you bit down on his lower lip because he wasn’t sure if he could handle another second without his tongue in your mouth.
He pulled away for a moment so he could push you down onto the bed, getting over you. Jaemin sighed deeply as you skimmed your hands down his bare chest, fingers tugging at the waistband of his sweatpants.
“You know, I lied that night,” you told Jaemin, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I’m not usually down for whatever, but I wanted to try my chance with you.”
Jaemin tutted at you, circling a finger around your nipple. “You shouldn’t have lied, Y/N,” he said, making you whimper when he pinched your hard nipple. “Could’ve stroked my ego a little more.”
“Sorry, but I’m not here to stroke your ego, Jaemin,” you simpered, choking over your words when Jaemin pressed open-mouthed kisses to your chest, eventually snaking his hot tongue across your nipple.
“You already are,” Jaemin murmured against your skin, littering hickeys as he kissed your chest. “Your reactions are so cute.”
Jaemin sucked on his fingers for a brief moment to provide some extra lubrication, not that you really needed it. He used his pointer and middle finger to rub against your slit, your whines growing needier as you became more and more aroused. After one more needy mewl from your lips, Jaemin had enough. He tugged his sweatpants and boxers down in one go, his hard cock slapping against his stomach once it was free.
“Oh fuck,” you moaned brokenly, eyeing the length of his cock.
“Such a good girl,” he crooned down at you, teasing his cock against your slit until you were a gasping, moaning mess under him. Then, Jaemin pulled away, clicking his tongue and grinning while you narrowed your eyes at him. “Condom,” he remembered.
Jaemin got off the bed to retrieve the silver packet from his nightstand, tearing it open with his teeth in one go. He caught you staring at how incredibly hung he was, smirking proudly as he slid the condom onto his shaft. He pumped it once for good measure and moved back onto the bed with you.
He stayed on his knees, angling your hips up so that they were positioned with his cock. You looked confused by the awkward position, but Jaemin melted away your worries with a powerful thrust into you. He groaned at how tight you were with your warm, wet walls clenching around him rhythmically.
Jaemin could tell he was hitting all the right spots by the broken moans that were escaping you when he pounded in you. His own growls were low and grating, relishing the way you felt around him. You were clutching his sheets so tight and bucking your hips so often that Jaemin had to use a hand to push your lower abdomen down, smirking as he felt his cock move in and out of you.
“You’re so big,” you gasped out, looking visibly frustrated at how you couldn’t hold onto him.
“Princess, I regret not doing this earlier,” Jaemin admitted with another rough thrust into you, making you sob out some distorted version of his name. “You feel so fucking good.”
“I’m close,” you choked out, and Jaemin kindly aided you by rubbing your clit as he brutally fucked you into the mattress.
You tucked your head into your shoulder, biting back your cries, so Jaemin grabbed your hair in a fistful and tilted it back so he could see your face. A shudder ran down his spine. Your expression was so perfect, so fucked in and glazed over.
“Shit,” he growled, voice raspy from arousal as you came undone in front of him.
His nimble fingers continued to work on your clit as you fell apart, moans ringing in his ears like a song. He followed you into your bliss, unable to hold back. He leaned over you and continued fucking you through your orgasm, holding you and groaning as he, too, released.
Jaemin stopped when he was done and spent. His arms buckled as they struggled to keep himself over you, and he could only pull out and collapse by your side. He muttered out a few curses, struggling to find the right words to say as he stared up at the ceiling. That felt good? No, too dry. I’m the only one who gets to fuck you like that? No, too possessive.
He settled with “you’re amazing” as his chest rose and fell in tune with yours.
“Likewise,” you breathed out and looked over at him. “I have to go home soon.”
Jaemin didn’t know what came over him, but he rolled over and wrapped his arms around you tightly. Normally, he wasn’t one for cuddling or aftercare, but he didn’t want you to go so soon. You relaxed under his touch as Jaemin drew you closer to his body, pulling the sheets over you both.
“Don’t go,” Jaemin whispered, tucking some hair behind your ear.
You turned to look at him, running your finger along his cheek tenderly. “Jaehyun’s gonna ask.”
Jaemin threw the sheets off of you and stood up quickly. “Have a safe trip back.”
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It was the very next day when Jaemin hooked up with you again.
You had sent him a rather suggestive text, stating that you found it strenuous to walk after the previous night. In some sick and twisted way, Jaemin found this extremely hot and invited you over that night. Needless to say, you found it even more difficult to walk afterward.
The next day was the last day of the long weekend, so you spent nearly the entire day at Jaemin’s place before Jeno came home. Sure, you had sex once or twice then, but Jaemin really liked having you around. Even when you both weren’t exactly doing anything, your mere presence was comforting to him. In past hookups with other girls, he would always just get up and leave after the deed was done. However, with you, he was suddenly a sucker for aftercare.
Jaemin still felt like shit for going behind Jaehyun’s back and he was starting to question his stealth when Jeno came back home and discovered your bra on the couch.
“Oh, that’s where it was,” Jaemin said blankly, taking the bra from Jeno. “By the way, how was visiting your family?”
Jeno was still stuck on the bra, however. “Hold on,” he started, “whose bra is that?”
“Mine.”
“You wear bras?”
“What? No.” Jaemin made a face. “The fuck?”
“Na Jaemin, did you sleep with a random girl on our couch?”
“First of all, it wasn’t a random girl. It was Y/N,” Jaemin defended. “And secondly, we did it against the wall, actually. The couch was just a poor observer.”
“I don’t know if I should be impressed or disgusted,” Jeno replied, pondering over his best friend’s words. He glanced back at the wall and inched away from it. “Did you figure out what you’re going to do about Jaehyun?”
Jaemin grinned sheepishly. “I mean, what Jaehyun doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right?”
“What happened to the Jaemin who was trying to ghost his sister?”
“He got laid.”
“This is so gonna backfire on you,” Jeno replied, shaking his head. “But I kind of want to watch it happen.”
“Dude,” Jaemin whined, rubbing his chin with his hand. “I broke the bro code so hard, but honestly, the sex is too good.”
“Jaemin, I don’t want to hear about your sexcapades, thanks.”
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The next time Jaemin hooked up with you was almost an absolute disaster.
Keyword: almost.
“Jeno,” Jaemin warbled in a desperate cry, “I’m fucked. I’m absolutely fucked.”
“What’s up?” came the disinterested voice of his best friend who was sprawled out on the couch, flipping listlessly through a textbook.
“I need you to help me out,” Jaemin begged. “Y/N wants me to go over to her place but Jaehyun’s home.”
That was how Jaemin ended up behind your house, trying to hoist himself up onto a tree that was close to your window. Jeno was on the phone, keeping a lookout from his car that was parked on the street. This was, quite honestly, probably one of the stupidest things Jaemin had ever done because not only did he have a fear of heights, but he was risking his life just for his friend not to see him walking in the house.
There was something about hanging onto the branch of a tree for dear life that made a man question his pride.
“All this for some pussy,” Jeno tutted through his AirPods.
“Shut up, Jeno,” Jaemin muttered, a flush of heat rising to his cheeks. Truth be told, he just really wanted to see you, not that he would admit that.
He hauled himself onto one of the thicker branches that led to your window and inched his way along it to reach the windowsill. A frown crossed his lips as he reached out to knock on the glass. You told him you’d keep the window open for him, so why was it closed?
The answer was obvious, but it didn’t sink in until Jaehyun opened the window to see Jaemin dangling from a tree branch.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, was all that was running through his mind. His head felt like it was going a thousand miles per second but the rest of his body was short-circuiting.
“Jaemin, what are you doing outside my window?” Jaehyun asked, looking absolutely perturbed.
“I’m, uh…” Jaemin paused to think while he could hear Jeno laughing at him through his AirPods. “Jeno and I wanted to prank you.”
“Jeno? Prank?” Jaehyun questioned. “Are you not here for a study session with Y/N?”
Jaemin stilled. He wasn’t sure he had any classes with you, but surely you must have made up this excuse to Jaehyun so that Jaemin could be in your house freely. Jeno’s laughing intensified as Jaemin blinked at his team captain.
“Right, well—”
“Jaemin, what are you doing there?” your sweet, innocent voice rang from Jaehyun’s door.
There was a mischievous glint in your eyes despite how concerned you tried to look. Jaemin saw right through you, though, and grimaced.
“Just… hanging out,” Jaemin grunted out as he tried to crawl in through Jaehyun’s window.
Jaehyun reached his hand out to help Jaemin and dragged him through the window with ease, so smooth that Jaemin pretended he didn’t hit his head against the side of the frame of the window as he was pulled inside. The tree branch bounced back to its original position, its leaves rustling wildly once Jaemin’s weight was off of them. Jaehyun helped Jaemin dust himself off and grabbed one of his shoulders firmly, using his free hand to pat his back.
“Jaemin,” Jaehyun said slowly, “use the door next time.”
“Got it,” Jaemin croaked out.
“We can go to my room and study, Jaemin,” you piped up, turning on your heel to head back to your room as soon as you were sure you had his attention.
“Right, um… see you, man,” Jaemin told Jaehyun, awkwardly following after you after Jaehyun returned the goodbye.
Jaemin had been to Jaehyun’s house for parties, but being there in the daytime was unnerving. He ended the call with Jeno, quickly texting him that he was safe before stuffing his phone and AirPods in his pockets. Jaemin turned the corner to see you sitting cross-legged on the floor of your room. A loud sigh escaped his lips before he made his way in, closing the door behind him.
“You’re paying for that,” he warned.
“Oh yeah?” you asked, a laugh falling from your lips just before Jaemin strode over, pushing you down onto the floor and hovering over you. You parted your lips to speak but whatever you were going to say died on your tongue as Jaemin swooped in and kissed you.
This is a terrible place to be doing this, the rational side of Jaemin’s brain provided, but then he was kissing you and it didn’t matter anymore.
Jaemin lost himself in the kiss as soon as he was tasting your fruity chapstick. He cupped your jaw, intoxicated by the way your lips felt against his. He was so dazed that he hardly noticed you unzipping his pants, tugging them down by his belt loops.
“Aren’t we studying?” Jaemin teased, brushing his nose against yours. He glanced over at the mess of books and papers at your table.
“Mm, do you want to study instead?” you asked, drawing him closer to you. “Pass up on this and read up on some cell division?”
“Fuck no.” Jaemin scoffed, dragging his nails up your thigh. “Spread those legs for me, angel.”
A mewl escaped your lips when you spread your legs because Jaemin immediately started palming your apex without missing a beat. The burst of pride that followed made him a little braver, a little less worrisome over your older brother.
“Take off your pants,” you breathed out, tugging once more at his waistband.
“No.” Jaemin moved off of you and hauled himself up to sit on your bed. “I want you to ride my thigh.” His eyes practically devoured the way you looked. “And keep the skirt on.”
You stood up, biting your lip as you moved to straddle his right thigh. Jaemin’s hands ran up and down your thighs, moving up to your hips eventually to rub slow circles with his thumb. His lips were attached to your neck almost immediately, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses along the column.
You let a whimper slip from your lips and Jaemin started bouncing his leg steadily, his muscular thigh rubbing against your clit. He guided your movements with his hands as you rolled your hips against him. Jaemin flexed his thigh every once in a while and made sure to pull you down on him whenever he could make use of the friction.
Another moan from you and Jaemin sneered. “You’re getting off so well on my thigh, Y/N. Such a fucking tease but you react so easily.” You whined again and Jaemin shushed you. “Be quiet, princess. We don’t want to be walked in on, right?”
And, because the world hated Jaemin, Jaehyun decided to walk in.
“Y/N, can I come in for a second?” he called from outside the door.
In an instant, you practically flew off of Jaemin’s lap, scrambling back to your table and burying your nose in your biology textbook. There were a few long seconds of Jaemin silently communicating with you out of frustration. You had escaped just fine, but Jaemin just had to get a hard-on, and now that you were off his lap, it was far too obvious through his pants.
But you already told Jaehyun he could come in, so Jaemin put both hands over his crotch in a valiant (but stupid) effort to hide his boner while the door opened.
“I’m going to the store,” Jaehyun said, looking between you and Jaemin from the doorway. “Want anything?”
“No, we’re good,” you replied, but Jaehyun’s eyes were fixed on Jaemin, narrowing slightly.
“I’ll get going then, but are you good?” Jaehyun asked, gesturing at the awkward position Jaemin was in. “The bathroom’s across the hall if you need to go.”
Jaemin’s eyes flitted to yours to see an amused look on your face, and he could practically hear your voice bouncing in his skull: This is fun.
This wasn’t exactly Jaemin’s textbook dictionary definition of fun, however.
“Thanks,” Jaemin croaked out, looking down at his lap in shame. A flush of red crossed his cheeks and you barked out a laugh as soon as Jaehyun was gone. “Not funny,” he grumbled out.
An impish grin crossed your face as you asked, “Need me to take care of your problem?”
“Please,” Jaemin almost begged.
The moment you stood up, Jaemin was quickly trying to tug his pants down, hooking his fingers in the waistband of his boxers to take them off with his pants. This was awful in the absolutely best way possible because Jaemin’s hands felt clammy but then you were kneeling down in front of him, helping him take his pants off. You looked up at Jaemin when his hard cock curved up against his stomach. A breath escaped his lips like it had been punched out of him and he wondered if his eyes were as comically wide as they felt.
When the sound of Jaehyun closing the front door echoed, you grasped Jaemin’s painfully hard cock in your soft hands. Jaemin’s tongue felt like lead in his mouth. He couldn’t even ask you to do anything with all his bravado from earlier suddenly vanishing. So, he curled a hand in your hair, more for his own leverage.
Jaemin’s stomach rearranged itself to feel like some crazed etch-a-sketch rather than the human anatomy when he felt your lips wrap around his cock.
“Shit, that’s it,” he growled when you went down on him. He flushed all over, clear in the way his cock twitched in your mouth, and it made him feel like some silly, lovesick teenager. “Oh god, you feel so good with your mouth wrapped around my cock, princess.”
A sound of approval came from your throat, vibrating against the throbbing vein along Jaemin’s shaft and making him go crazy. You bobbed your head up and down, teasing him by going so slow to the point that it was nearly unbearable for Jaemin. He felt like a coil of fire was tightly woven inside him, ready to snap at any given moment.
“Fuck… don’t tease me—wait, are you asleep?”
Jaemin looked down to see you half-asleep on his cock, lips brushing against the vein along the side. Your eyes weren’t hooded but fluttered shut, head lolling to the side and your tongue grazing the underside of his head. A hiss escaped Jaemin’s lips at your teasing, but he felt more incredulous than turned on.
“I’m tired,” you said, “and you didn’t finish me off, so why should I finish you off?”
“Well, this is just unfair,” Jaemin replied with a frustrated huff as you pulled off of him. His gaze softened when he saw you rub your eyes, though. He fumbled for a moment, pulling his boxers and pants back up and tucking away the frustration of not getting his release. “You’re actually tired?”
“Kind of,” you admitted. “I’ve been studying my ass off all week for midterms.”
“Okay, well…” Jaemin faltered before scooting back on your bed until he was against the wall. “Let’s take a nap then.”
“Nap? Oh, so we—oh, okay,” you mumbled and Jaemin’s heart skipped a few beats when he saw you suck in your lower lip nervously.
You crawled into your bed and laid down, pulling the covers over them after Jaemin moved so he was right next to you. Jaemin had never exactly slept with a girl like this, but with you, his chest felt warm. It felt right. Without a word, he pulled you to his chest so you wouldn’t have to see how nervous you were making him feel, praying you couldn’t hear his heart pounding in his chest.
“You’re warm,” you mumbled to him.
And, because Jaemin was a loser who feared rejection and the reality that he was an actual human who felt real emotions, he pressed his lips to your head and whispered into your hair, “I like you.”
If you heard him or noticed, Jaemin wouldn’t have known because falling asleep was so much easier with you in his arms.
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“You slept with her? Like, without sex?” Jeno asked Jaemin that night, to which he nodded. “You didn’t hook up with her at all?”
“Jaehyun walked in the first time and the second time… let’s not get into that,” Jaemin replied. “The point is, we fucking cuddled, Jeno.”
“That’s kinda weird.”
“Right?” Jaemin tugged a hand through his hair, letting out an aggravated groan. “Maybe I shouldn’t go to Jaehyun’s place on Friday.”
Parties were one thing, but at least once a month, the basketball team would hold bonding events for everyone to unwind and chill. Jaemin usually attended every event since he was close with all of the members, but Jaehyun’s house became dangerous territory now because of you. However, Jaemin was expected to take the place of team captain when Jaehyun graduated, so he knew it would be bad if he didn’t attend all the socials the basketball team held.
“Why? Can’t keep it in your pants?” Jeno teased.
Jaemin threw a pillow at him. “Fuck off.”
“It’s been postponed to the end of the month, anyway,” Jeno assured. “Jaehyun said he had a date this Friday or something.”
“Then I’m safe for now.”
It got silent for a moment before Jeno asked, “Are you catching feelings?”
Silence.
Did Jaemin like you? Sure, he mumbled it for himself to hear when he was holding you, which was pretty suspicious of him to do that if he didn’t actually have any feelings toward you. He perfectly understood the feeling at an intellectual level, but absorbing it emotionally was beyond his realm of understanding. Plus, there was no point in having feelings for someone if they didn’t reciprocate.
Right?
Jaemin only had a few crushes before, and the feelings were so surface-level that he started to wonder how many aspects of life he had missed out on because of his inability to grow close to people. That was why he had confined himself to the hookup culture because the “no strings attached” aspect was so appealing to him, but now it was backfiring because of you. It was so fucked up because Jaemin didn’t even want to fuck around with you anymore. Scratch that. He did, but he also wanted to hold your hand, go on dates, and kiss you until your fruity chapstick made him dizzy again.
You were great in bed, but what got Jaemin’s heart racing was the way you laughed when he made a lame joke and you couldn’t get over how terrible it was; the way you told stories with your hands, and your face would light up because you would get so excited; the way the food you made looked absolutely nauseating but, for whatever reason, it tasted amazing, and Jaemin could go on, but he was afraid he’d start melting in front of Jeno.
“No way,” Jaemin lied. “It’s just for the sex, that’s all.”
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It wasn’t fair that you always showed up at the one place Jaemin was most vulnerable: basketball practice.
Truth be told, you were causing Jaemin problems well before you even arrived. Hell, you had been causing problems for the past three weeks. Not that Jaemin hated it, but he couldn’t keep it in his pants every time you dragged him to a blind spot or invited him to your place. There were also times where Jaemin would just simply walk with you, or talk about your day in bed, or just hold your hand and stroke your hair until you fell asleep.
Pretty weird for fuckbuddies.
Earlier in the day, Jaemin had run into you while he was walking to his biology lecture, and after some light conversation, he had you pinned up against the back of a building. He ended up getting a very noticeable hickey on his neck from you that he didn’t know existed until Jaehyun pointed it out during practice.
“Jaemin.” Jaehyun let out a low whistle and gestured to his neck. “Finally got over your weird celibacy phase?”
“What are you—”
“Nice hickey,” Yuta complimented while he was passing by, “finally got laid, huh?”
Only then did Jaemin realize that you had marked up his neck, and did so proudly. You knew people would see but you still went ahead and did it. Jaemin would’ve been mad but somehow, the thought of showing off something you caused turned him on.
Thankfully, you showed up when practice had ended and the others were heading into the locker room, all sweaty and tired. Absorbed in their own conversations, the rest of Jaemin’s teammates were focused on talking about their last play and looking forward to a cold shower. Jaemin, however, did a double-take when he saw you, nudging Jeno to keep going while he stayed back.
You really had no good reason coming to the basketball courts. It wasn’t like you or your big brother actually wanted to walk home together.
“I’m starting to think you come here to see me,” Jaemin said smugly, making his way over to you.
“Not even,” you replied, although your fazed look said otherwise. “But I appreciate the eye candy.”
Jaemin reached out to take your hands in his and pulled you toward him. You looked down at your feet, right foot circling around one of the stray basketballs that had been left behind during practice. Jaemin, however, had his eyes focused on you. He couldn’t get tired of looking at you, especially when you were wearing that cozy purple sweater that made him want to pull you into his arms.
Jaemin noticed your foot on the basketball and held your hands a little tighter as you put your weight on it to get your other foot on. You were shakily balancing on it, grabbing Jaemin’s hands tightly as a grin slowly spread across your face.
You’re too cute, was what Jaemin wanted to say.
“You’re still shorter than me even when you’re standing on a basketball,” he teased instead, one hand slipping around your waist to keep you steady.
You pouted. “I’m basically the same height as you now.”
“Really?” Jaemin smirked at your expression, moving closer so that his lips were at your forehead. He moved his hands so they were both holding your waist, keeping you planted on the basketball. “I think I still have an inch or two on you.”
“That’s not fair,” you whispered, but Jaemin was tilting your chin up and smiling at how you were visibly growing shy. “Jaemin, my brother might walk out any second.”
“Fuck your brother,” Jaemin murmured and kissed you.
People threw around the term “time slowed down” so casually, that Jaemin believed it was a silly hoax; however, he was starting to understand it. Each kiss he shared with you before felt so rushed, but now, everything around him didn’t matter anymore. It was like every fear, every concern he had was lost as he was lost in the taste of your lips.
Your hands cupped his face, deepening the kiss and making Jaemin nearly forget that you were barely balancing on a basketball. He tightened his hold around you when you pulled a hand away to run through his hair and god, he relished that feeling. When he desperately needed air again, Jaemin pulled away, nipping at your bottom lip cheekily as he did so.
He didn’t want to see your reaction, though, so he pulled you down from the basketball and hugged you, burying his face into the crook of your neck. You were visually overwhelming, anyway, and Jaemin wasn’t too keen on seeing your reaction to his tenderness. Jaemin felt like such a melt for being this affected over a simple kiss, but all he wanted at the moment was to be closer to you.
“Jaemin?” you asked, shocked by his sudden intimacy.
“Shut up,” he murmured into your neck, “I just want to hold you right now.”
“Bruh.”
Jaemin didn’t process the fact that a third person was in the gym until it registered that the masculine voice couldn’t have been coming from you. On the bright side, the voice came from the one person who knew about whatever was going on between you and Jaemin. He then wondered why he was starting to become an optimist.
You and Jaemin both pulled away quickly like repelling magnets. There was a flicker of panic in your eyes, seeming to cool down when you noticed that Jaemin wasn’t freaking out. It was quite devastating for Jaemin to come to realize that he was the standard for what to worry over.
Jaemin, not sparing you a glance, walked over to where his best friend was standing and shoved him, not straying from his direct route to the locker room.
“You have some explaining to do,” Jeno muttered before Jaemin passed him.
“Fuck off, Jeno.”
Jeno flashed a sheepish grin at you before turning back to follow Jaemin, patting him firmly on the back to tease him. Jaemin, however, was unsettled. Whatever he felt for you was moving past sexual attraction to something much deeper, and he wasn’t sure if he could suppress it any longer.
You truly were the cat, and although Jaemin refused to believe it, you had already caught him.
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Jeno somehow managed to stay quiet about what had happened between you and Jaemin until after they reached their apartment. Jaemin almost believed he was going to pretend like he didn’t see anything, but it would be laughable to think that Lee Jeno wouldn’t mock him about it.
“That’s the thing with fuckbuddies,” Jeno explained as he shrugged off his coat, “someone’s gonna catch feelings eventually.”
“Thanks, Jeno,” Jaemin spat, tone laced with sarcasm. “You never cease to make me feel like shit.”
“So you admit that you caught feelings?”
It was like an arrow through a bullseye, not that Jaemin was going to admit to that, but the thought of him potentially catching feelings for you was terrifying. It was even more frightening because he probably already did. This was supposed to be the time where Jaemin blanched and would become shockingly avoidant around you, but he was waiting for those instincts to kick in rather than the desperate urge to run over and kiss you.
But, moreover, screw Lee Jeno for majoring in neuroscience. His best friend studying the human brain and its cognition was the worst thing that could have ever happened to Jaemin.
Jaemin paused, hesitating before he spoke, “No… I’m just worried that one of us will.”
Jeno raised a brow at him. “Whatever you two were doing was not normal for fuckbuddies.”
“It’s called hugging, Jeno. It’s not my fault you have the emotional range of a teaspoon.”
Jaemin moved to sit on the couch, turning his back to Jeno and hugging a pillow as he shrunk back into the cushion. But Jeno knew that Jaemin always listened to what he had to say. It was a natural instinct by now. Although Jaemin would rather die than say it aloud, his best friend always gave the best advice even though it was probably not what Jaemin wanted to hear.
“Are you okay?” Jeno asked instead.
Jaemin froze. He was never any good at expressing himself. He presented himself as a simple man on the outside, but he was really just layers of multitudes. But, sometimes, your mere attention was like uncut cocaine to him, and then Jaemin would wonder if he really was simple.
“I’m fine,” Jaemin muttered back.
“You’re good at being fine, aren’t you?”
Jeno fastidiously fixed his hair before he retreated to his room. Jaemin was surprised by how he cut the advice session this time and left Jaemin to his own thoughts.
Exhausted, Jaemin stared at his lock screen. It was a picture of you and him at a park. Ducks in the pond. You caught off-guard with hair in your mouth. Jaemin with a smile brighter than the sun. Who the fuck took selfies with girls they fucked on the down-low? And who the fuck set them as their wallpapers? Apparently, Jaemin did.
He was sick.
Maybe Jeno was right, but Jaemin refused to accept that possibility because that would make him even more disgusted with himself.
He could only think of one thing and it was how he was in love with you.
Sex was one thing, but love? The number one rule of best friendship was probably don’t fucking fall in love with your best friend’s sister.
Furthermore, Jaemin didn’t know how to act around you now. In the conspectus of Things That Could Go Wrong in his brain, he hadn’t anticipated actually falling for you. He should’ve taken your godsent looks and heavenly laugh as a red flag that first night because now he was addicted.
It wasn’t like Jaemin had absolutely zero experience with girls, but usually, he just went with it. Being the one chasing after you was mentally taxing and the thought of you possibly not wanting him back was unthinkable. Then again, it was pretty clear that it was mutual between the two of you, but Jaemin was confident that you were a breath away from snapping at him for his inconsistency.
He was the one that pushed you away, after all. A sudden transition from resisting to wanting you completely was sure to freak you out, so Jaemin was stuck at a crossroads.
After a few Google searches of asking the internet if he caught feelings and an episode of self-denial and self-loathing, Jaemin decided it was high time for him to call you and tell you how he felt. That, or he was going to panic and break things off before he got emotionally invested.
Before he could do either, Jeno walked back to the living room, putting his coat back on. He looked dressed up as if he was going out somewhere, and Jaemin’s suspicions were confirmed when he went to get his shoes.
“What’re you all dressed up for?” Jaemin asked, sitting up straight again.
“Jaehyun’s house.” Jeno raised a brow at him. “It’s Friday.”
God, if you’re out there, Jaemin thought, defeated. Screw you and your son. Amen.
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Jaemin had to psych himself into the proper state of mind for tonight.
That all went to shit, however, when he saw you sitting in the living room, laughing at something Yuta had said.
“Oh my god,” Jeno said in a low voice when he saw Jaemin frozen in the doorway. “Tell me you’re not jealous right now.”
“Piss off,” Jaemin spat, kicking off his shoes at the entrance. “It’s nothing like that.”
Except that it was exactly like that. Jaemin wasn’t the jealous type, but right now, his blood was roiling in his gut. Deep inside, he knew it was probably nothing to worry about, but the way you smiled around Yuta was pissing him off. Then, he realized that he had no relationship with you that gave him any right to stop Yuta from flirting with you.
And then, you turned to see Jaemin in the doorway and smiled at him.
Oh no, Jaemin thought in complete devastation. She’s pretty.
“Y/N, tonight’s for the basketball team,” Jaehyun told you from the living room, making a motion with his hands to signal you to leave. “Go to your room.”
“You’re such a nosy older brother,” YangYang chimed in, nudging a chuckle out of Jaehyun. “But yeah, Y/N, Friday nights are for the boys.”
“I know, I know,” you said with a laugh. “I’ll go now. I was just grabbing some water.”
Jaemin was still frozen stiff at the doorway as you grabbed a half-empty bottle of water from the kitchen counter (despite Jeno’s several attempts to get him to move) and then walked to the staircase to Jaemin’s left. But then you grabbed Jaemin by the front of his shirt and started dragging him upstairs with you. He barely registered it all happening in the span of a few seconds, but he was able to catch Jeno saying he’d tell the others that Jaemin was running late.
“Y/N? What are you doing?” Jaemin whispered harshly, although he still followed you into your room and let you lock the door.
This was far too risky. Not only was Jaehyun home, but the entire basketball team was downstairs.
You started tying your hair up and Jaemin gulped, realizing where this was going. “Do you want me to suck you off or not?” you asked, smiling.
“Say no more,” Jaemin breathed out, unzipping his pants hastily.
He sat down on your bed, letting you tug his boxers down, your eyes full of mirth. Jaemin felt so pathetic when his cock twitched as soon as you wrapped a hand around its girth, but he was ready to put his pride to the side for once.
Jaemin was about to rasp out something but then you took his head in your mouth and a sudden wave of heat punched him in the gut. But then you pulled away, lips against the underside of his head, and Jaemin was a second away from just crying.
“You have nice hands,” you complimented with a mischievous smile as Jaemin held the back of your head eagerly. He felt like he was going crazy with the way you were mouthing your words against his cock.
“You have nice lips,” he returned through gritted teeth. “But please shut the fuck up and get to it already.”
Your lips curled slowly. “So impatient,” you cooed, tongue dragging along the underside of his cock. Jaemin bucked his hips forward, trying to chase the sensation, but you were teasing him.
“God, you’re gonna be the death of me, Y/N.”
You smirked up at him, moving your head to lick against the slit before taking his cock in your mouth again. A few laborious seconds passed with Jaemin biting his lip so that he didn’t make any noise, and then you finally started sucking him off. He fought the urge not to groan when your tongue rolled along the vein down his shaft.
You showed Jaemin no mercy, however. It was almost like you wanted everyone downstairs to hear. He gritted his teeth when your teeth grazed his cock, and he wanted more. He gripped your hair for anchorage and fucked into your mouth. The smallest whimper escaped you when Jaemin’s cock hit the back of your throat.
Jaemin let out a strangled groan. “I’m close.”
You took this as your cue to suck him off even harsher, and Jaemin was on the brink of sweet release. A tear escaped your eyes as he fucked into your throat, and Jaemin wiped it with his thumb, drinking in the wrecked sight of you that was bringing him over the edge. You let a broken moan vibrate against Jaemin’s shaft, and he was done for.
Jaemin couldn’t recall being able to cum this fast because of someone’s mouth before, but here he was, groaning as his hot seed shot down your throat. You obediently swallowed it, eyes hazy and tear-soaked from the size of him.
A few moments of silence passed before Jaemin leaned down and pecked your lips, heart fluttering a bit in his chest as he did so. “Good girl.”
He swore he saw you lifting a finger to scratch your cheek lightly, which was a nervous quirk of yours that Jaemin had picked up on, but you turned away quickly to fix your hair while Jaemin was pulling his pants back up. The tension that followed made Jaemin unsure of whether to leave or take you against the wall. He decided against the latter, knowing that Jeno couldn’t stall forever.
“Leaving already?” you asked, reaching for Jaemin’s hand, which he gladly entwined with yours.
“I’m already on thin ice,” Jaemin explained. “I have to go back down there and hope they don’t question me.” You moved closer to him, hands moving down to graze past his waistband. Jaemin hissed slightly under his breath and diverted by rubbing the back of his neck. “Uh, so you and Yuta…”
“You’re still on that?” you asked, pulling your hands back. “I can’t laugh around another guy now?”
“No, no!” Jaemin groaned, tugging a hand through his hair out of frustration. “Nevermind, it’s nothing.”
“Is it not obvious, Jaemin?” you asked him, an edge of desperation to your voice. “You really can’t tell how I feel?”
Jaemin sighed, looking down at his feet. “You can’t tell how I feel either?”
“You—what?”
“We’ll talk later. I have to go.”
He turned to go back downstairs, but you grabbed his wrist, saying, “Jaemin, remember that you’re the one who didn’t want anything more out of this.”
Jaemin gave you a puzzled look but before he could ask for clarification, you had pulled away from him and gestured for him to leave. He mumbled a pathetic excuse, spitting out a string of words for a moment before he gave up and snuck downstairs as quietly as he could.
He hated that you were right. Even though you had suggested sneaking around, Jaemin was the one who tried to draw the boundary. He did this to himself.
“Yo, Jaemin,” Yuta called, “when did you get here?”
“Just now,” Jaemin answered, rubbing the back of his neck as he walked into the living room where all the basketball team members were sprawled over the couch. “What’re we watching?”
“Pulp Fiction,” Taeyong answered. “Can you get the ice cream from the kitchen?”
“Sure.” Jaemin opened Jaehyun’s freezer to see two tubs of ice cream nestled in the corner. While he was pondering over whether to grab chocolate or vanilla, he felt a presence behind him and looked over his shoulder. “Did you need—oh my god, go to your room,” he whispered harshly at the sight of you.
“Are you my mom?” You raised a brow at him and reached for an ice cream tub. “Let me help you open them.”
“Fine,” he mumbled, voice fracturing at the end. He watched you move to the kitchen’s island and, carefully eyeing his teammates in the living room, letting his hand graze your thigh and whispering, “Hey, I’m sorry for earlier.”
You stiffened at his touch. “It’s fine,” you whispered back, opening the tubs of ice cream. “You’ve just been acting weird lately.”
“Weird?” Jaemin asked as he opened his tub. The ice cream dripped off the lid and onto Jaemin’s finger. “Ugh. Do you have napkins?”
“You’re so messy, Jaemin.”
“Shut up.”
“Let me help,” you insisted, grabbing his wrist and taking his fingers in your mouth.
Jaemin’s eyes widened by a fraction as your hot tongue circled around his fingers. He fought down the urge to take it further and bit his lip as he watched you. Before he could do anything, however, an awkward laugh and wolf-whistle from the living room made him freeze.
Jaemin’s head shot up to see his teammates staring at him, shell-shocked. Some looked absolutely confused while others looked more proud and impressed. Jaemin wondered if you had no shame because, despite all the eyes on them, you didn’t let go of his hand, your pretty lips still wrapped around his fingers.
“I don’t know why she’s doing that,” Jaemin rambled quickly, and his tone was so frazzled that Jeno had to hide his laugh behind his fist. “Come on, Y/N,” he urged, voice dropping for you to hear. “Let go of my hand.”
It would have been sexy if Jaemin wasn’t absolutely terrified.
Only when Jaemin caught sight of Jaehyun’s expression did you let go, saying, “Thanks for the ice cream.” With a playful smile, you looked up at Jaemin expectantly.
“What the fuck did we just witness?” Jungwoo asked, lit up silly like he had just witnessed the biggest scandal.
“We’re friends,” Jaemin croaked out. “Right, Y/N? Jaehyun? Jeno?”
Jeno ducked his head and Jaemin could tell what exactly he was thinking: I can’t help you out of this one, Jaem.
Jaemin couldn’t exactly read Jaehyun’s expression. It was a mix of emotions so varied that they didn’t make sense to him. He couldn’t even pick out any distinguishable one, but maybe it was better he didn’t know what the captain was feeling.
“I swear, it's not what it looks like,” Jaemin defended.
“So Y/N wasn’t sucking on your fingers?” Taeyong asked, a ghost of a laugh on his lips.
“Okay, so it’s exactly what it looks like,” Jaemin muttered and pursed his lips together. “But it’s—it’s nothing,” he reasoned, and at this point, it seemed like he was trying to convince himself more than them.
Either way, it wasn’t working.
Who was he kidding, anyway? They weren’t stupid, and it was clear as day that Jaemin couldn’t get enough of you. For heaven's sake, he even got jealous over Yuta making you laugh. Before, one would have to pry open the cold, hard jaws of his corpse to get a word out about how he felt, but now Jaemin felt like you had broken down his last line of defense.
Jaemin could already see the consequences that would follow, but he still blurted out, “Fine. You got me. Jaehyun, I’m in love with your sister.”
Jaemin’s neurons were tearing themselves over the fact that Jaemin had just professed his love to you and was now experiencing a state of total humiliation. He was confident he wouldn’t ever live this moment down.
The room went silent. Not only were the boys shocked, but you were, too. Jaemin himself couldn’t believe he let that slip, but there was no going back now. Jeno sat there with his jaw hung open and Jaemin couldn’t blame him. He didn’t even know he was going to drop the love bomb like that out of nowhere. Taeyong looked like he had just witnessed a murder as his eyes kept darting between Jaemin and Jaehyun, Jungwoo looked a little too proud, and Yuta was just washed over with realization.
“Oh.” Jaehyun blinked. “Cool, I guess. Does that mean you’re not joining us for movie night then?”
Jaemin wasn’t sure how obvious the shock showed on his face, but this felt too easy. For a little over a month, Jaemin had been skirting around his relationship with you because of your big brother, and now he was acting scarily nonchalant.
“You’re not mad?” Jaemin asked, wide-eyed.
Jaehyun laughed. “I mean, it’s kinda weird that you’re dating my little sister, but why would I be mad?”
“Maybe it’s because you said ‘if anyone lays a hand on my little sister, then I will make sure you look uglier than you already are,’” Yuta reminded him with Jaemin nodding along at his words. “And that was verbatim.”
“That’s for people hitting on my sister to get laid, not people dating my sister,” Jaehyun corrected. “I don’t control her decisions.”
Jaemin smiled through the internal pain of realizing he did exactly that. If Jaehyun found out he wasn’t dating you, then Jaemin was in for an earful. Thankfully, you were too dazed over Jaemin’s earlier confession to decide to start shit.
“Plus,” Jaehyun continued, “I knew you guys had a thing.”
“What?” Jaemin spluttered, blinking wildly. His tongue was performing acrobatics to formulate words but it wasn’t working.
“I had a suspicion when you climbed up my tree to get into the house,” Jaehyun said. “When I walked into the room later, that just confirmed my suspicions because, you know…”
Jaemin’s cheeks went hot when he realized that Jaehyun had probably caught onto the fact that he had a boner back then. Without a word, you rushed out of the kitchen, gaze averted which was what Jaemin supposed was embarrassment. Jaemin heard the front door open and close. He turned to follow after you, but swallowed thickly and froze in place.
“Go, Jaemin,” Jeno urged him, a tone of seriousness taking over.
“Yeah, don’t sweat it,” YangYang said cooly. “It’s just movie night.”
Jaemin clenched his jaw and nodded, thinking about how shitty it would be if he did all of that just to be rejected. Jaehyun’s house was a warzone and he knew better than to come tonight, but he still did, and he still fucked everything up. If things went wrong with you—
“Jaemin,” Jaehyun cut into his thoughts, “just so you know, I’m cool with you dating my sister.”
It was funny how a few words could make someone’s day, but Jaemin was surprised at the weight those words took off of his shoulders. He contained the joy to a half-smile and left the kitchen and walked out of your house to find you.
You hadn’t gone far at all. You were pacing along the sidewalk looking frazzled, hands lacing together and eyes cast down. Jaemin walked over to you and tried to take your hand but you pulled away.
“Did you mean what you said?” you asked, overcome with raw emotion.
“Yeah,” Jaemin replied, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I know I’m the one who didn’t want to start anything, and I lied about not wanting anything, but… this is how I feel, I guess.”
“You guess?”
“I’m not exactly expressive if you haven’t noticed.”
“Oh, trust me, I’ve noticed,” you replied incredulously, lower lip starting to quiver. “I just—I don’t know—I thought I was just going to be an afterthought to you.”
Jaemin froze when he saw tears start to gloss your eyes. He never knew how to deal with people crying, especially when they were girls. He took your face in his hands and wiped your stray tears away with his thumbs, sighing softly.
“Let’s go to my place.”
“What? Why?”
“I need to show you how much I love you,” he replied firmly, taking your hand in his and walking in the direction of his apartment. “It’s kind of funny that you thought that because you’ve been all I could think about for the past month.”
More tears were starting to well up in your eyes, but you blinked them away.
Stay calm, Jaemin’s brain instructed him. Cupid can sense your fear.
“I love you,” he continued. “Should I say it again? I love you, I love you, I love—”
“Alright, Jaemin!” Your face beamed like a Christmas tree but you were still a flustered mess. “God, stop looking at me like that.”
“No,” he said, stopping in his tracks. “I’m going to keep saying it because I don’t think you get it.”
“Jaemin, we’re in the middle of the sidewalk,” you squeaked out as he kissed your cheek.
“I love you.” Kiss. “I love you.” Kiss. “I love you.” Kiss.
“J-Jaemin, I get it,” you whined out, scrunching your nose up at his affection. Jaemin continued, though, and you happened to reach your limit. You gripped his shoulders and held him away from you. “God, Jaemin, I love you, okay? You have to give me a chance to say it back at least.”
This time, Jaemin was the one to get shy. “Huh? You like me back?”
“Jaemin, you idiot, you’re so slow,” you mused, “I’ve liked you this entire time.”
He took your hand, his gaze never leaving yours, and rubbed your palm in circles with his thumb. “I know I’ve been a dick… on multiple occasions,” he admitted, “but I want to be with you.”
“Jaemin—”
“Will you be my girlfriend?” he asked.
Jaemin wondered how many seconds passed after, but it felt like centuries to him. He didn’t budge, however, because he wanted you more than ever.
“Yes,” you finally confessed, which, in essence, was a fever dream in itself.
Jaemin expected his reaction to be different, but instead, his eyes wandered off, lost in thought. He looked toward the moon overlooking that hill where he nearly hooked up with you on the night of the party. That felt like eons ago despite being not that long ago, but it carried a comforting wave of nostalgia.
“You know, on second thought, we’re gonna stargaze.”
You looked at Jaemin like he was some undiscovered specimen, but you still followed him. He laid on his back, scrunching up his nose when the grass tickled his face, and he held his hand out to you. You took it, crouching down to lay down next to him. This time, Jaemin spread his arm out so that you could lay against his chest.
You cuddled up against his chest and Jaemin thought he could die a happy man.
He looked over at you, heart hammering against his ribcage like he was hopped up on ten energy drinks. The glow of the moon illuminated the gentle curves of your face and Jaemin didn’t realize he was kissing you until he realized he had tilted your face toward him and cupped your soft cheek. His whole body felt fuzzy when your hands rested on his chest, when he could taste your fruity chapstick.
It was kind of embarrassing how nervous Jaemin was getting. His hands were starting to sweat and he was feeling kiss-dazed, smiling like an idiot because your soft lips were everything. When he pulled away, he pecked your lips one last time, his eyes unable to leave your face.
He threw his pride to the wind and confessed, “You’re so beautiful.”
Your expression was priceless. Jaemin indulged in watching you become a stuttering, faltering mess in front of him, struggling for words that could come out coherently.
“I thought you said you wouldn’t call anyone beautiful over your dead body,” you managed.
“Well, you’re not anyone, are you?” Jaemin raised a brow “You’re Y/N.”
“You’re such a smooth talker sometimes,” you acknowledged, “you know, when you’re not completely malfunctioning.”
“Shh.” Jaemin pulled you closer. “Let me enjoy this.”
“Fine, but you’re making it up to me later for playing cat and mouse for a month.”
Jaemin scoffed. “Please, I was the mouse most of the time.”
A bubble of a laugh escaped your lips and you wrapped your arms around your boyfriend. “I’m really happy, you know?” you mumbled into his chest.
Jaemin kissed the top of your head, whispering a “yeah” into your hair. Maybe one day he’d admit that he was just as over-the-moon as you were, and maybe it would be coerced out of him hours later, but right now, under the starry night sky, he could only think about how lucky he was. It was funny, though, because now he could see the stars.
And they were so beautiful.
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collecting-stories · 3 years
Text
Midnight - JJ Maybank
Request: Hello, I would love to read something when reader gets shot and JJ is worried sick about her. Thank you!
A/N: Thank you for this insanely inspiring request...hopefully I did it justice.
Outer Banks Masterlist
✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
The smoke from the bonfire dissipated as it rose, like clouds blending into the darkness of the night. You kept your eyes shut, so tight you could see colors behind your lids as you listened to the sound of Rafe and Barry tearing through the Chateau. If you looked to your right, you knew Sarah would be there, just as scared as you were. On your left side, a branch over, was JJ. He would probably be trying to save face, to look unafraid even though this all felt a little too real for any of you. Just moments earlier, minutes, really, you’d been sitting at the bonfire with JJ, his sweatshirt keeping you warm in the chill of the early autumn night, everyone shouting after Pope and Kiara as they took the HMS out.  
Having John B and Sarah back felt surreal. Like you could do anything you wanted to do. And somehow, even scrambling up the big tree in front of the Chateau while John B threw a bucket of water over the fire, you still truly thought that everything would be okay.  
You hadn’t even felt it at first, as Barry grabbed Rafe and he fired up into tree, you dropped flush against the limb, bark digging into your body. You saw a bullet hit the tree near JJ and all you could remember thinking was how relieved you were that he hadn’t been hit. You waited until you heard Barry and Rafe leave, speeding away from the Chateau, before you tried to move. And then you felt it, a burning in your shoulder worse than the time you’d broken your arm skateboarding. You tired to push yourself back up but your right arm gave out and you fell into the tree, cursing as you lost your balance and slipped, landing on the grass. 
Flat on your back, staring up at the leaves in the tree obscuring the stars and the blurry vision of JJ jumping out of the tree. Sarah reached you first, falling onto her knees beside you and pushing the old sweatshirt out of the way to try and see where the blood that was coating the fabric was coming from.  
“Holy shit!” Sarah shouted, “oh my god…oh my god! John B, she’s bleeding! I think she was shot!”
John B pulled Sarah away from you, covering her mouth with his hand, “be quiet. The last thing we need is for them to turn back around.” Trying to shut her up was in vain, all you could hear was the pounding of JJ’s boots on the ground and John B cursing when he was pushed out of the way as JJ crowded in to see you, “lemme see!” JJ said, dropping to his knees next to you. 
Having him there, so close to you, felt like it reignited something in you and you turned your head to the sound of his voice, obscured stars fading until all you saw in the dark was JJ kneeling over you. “JJ,” you reached your hand across your body to feel your shoulder and he pushed you away, shaking his head. 
“Don’t, I got it…it’s gonna be okay.” He promised, pressing his hand into the blood-soaked sweatshirt. “John B man, we gotta get her to a hospital.”  
“What is it?” You asked, words slurring, they felt heavy on your tongue...like you’d forgotten them. “What happened?”
“No, it’s okay,” JJ repeated. He wiped one of his hands on the front of his shirt before reaching your free hand and squeezing it, “it’s okay, we’re gonna get help.”
“We need to get outta here, if they heard us they might circle back.” John B urged, his train of thought still on Rafe and Barry. He tried to grab Sarah’s arm as she scrambled for the front door of the Chateau, “Sarah!”
“I’m getting the keys to her car, John B! JJ’s right, we need to take her to the hospital!” She called, tearing through the picked over living room. Rafe and Barry had done a number on the inside of the small house but she managed to spot your keys, the Kildare County High School lanyard sticking out amongst couch cushions. 
While she dug through the house, JJ stayed by your side, hand pressed over your shoulder, trying to apply pressure to the wound and stop the bleeding, staining red. John B opened up the back door of your jeep, pushing your backpack off the seat and grabbing a towel from the trunk to throw down. “JJ,” he turned back to his friend to find JJ practically shaking as he sat there, over you, “JJ, we need to get her in the back seat.” 
JJ nodded his head vigorously as he tried to stand up, stumbling back the first time and catching himself on the ground, bloodied hands sticking to grass and dirt. His whole body was shaking and you were lying there, half-conscious but too out of it to respond to anything, eyes flickering shut as JJ and John B lifted you. The movement jostled you and you screamed at the shock of it.  
“Shit! Careful John B!” JJ cursed, unable to do much else for you.
“I’m doing the best I can!” John B snapped.  
Everything felt like it was moving in autopilot for JJ, all his focus was on you and he was completely positive that if he stopped for even a second, he would collapse. Since his feet hit the ground beneath the tree every thought in his mind had been you.  
They were careful of your shoulder as they loaded you in, JJ climbing into the backseat of your jeep and guiding you to lay over his lap. You groaned again as he grabbed your arm, keeping you on your back when you tried to roll over. He leaned down, kissing your forehead and promising, quietly, that everything was going to be okay.  
“I got the keys!” Sarah shouted, holding them up as she ran to the car. “I got the keys!” 
The drive to the hospital felt like a blur. You weren’t even entirely sure that Sarah stopped at any of the stop signs that you knew you were on the road. JJ kept his hand on your shoulder the entire time, though somewhere along the way you stopped feeling it.  
You couldn’t remember it, and when you were finally lucid enough to remember anything at all no one mentioned it, but the minute you were pushed behind the doors, away from the waiting room, JJ lost it. He’d spent the whole ride shaking like a leaf and as they wheeled you away it was everything John B could do to keep his best friend in the waiting room. He had his arms around JJ’s shoulders and he almost lifted him off the ground trying to keep him away.  
“JJ! She’s gonna be okay.” Sarah said, grabbing at his arm as he pulled out of John B’s hold. As he broke away, JJ punched the wall by the door, shouting ‘fuck’ at the top of his lungs and alerting the desk nurse to the three of them. No one told you, later on, that JJ had punched the wall though you noticed his bandaged hand, and no one told you that two security guards had to escort him outside until he could cool down.  
John B stayed in the waiting room while Sarah followed JJ outside. The security guards left him at a bench and Sarah knelt down in front of him, putting a hand on his knee to try and calm him down, or ground him as much as possible. “Hey, the doctors are doing everything they can JJ and it’s going to be okay. They said that the bullet didn’t hit anything major.”  
“I can’t...” he breathed out, covering his face with his hands, “I don’t...what do I do if she isn’t?”
“She will be, Jay.” Sarah replied, “I think though...I think we should call Shoupe and tell him what happened.”
“Fucking Rafe man...it doesn’t even matter. Shoupe didn’t do shit about Gavin and he’s not doing anything about Peterkin...he’s not gonna give a fuck about this either.”  
“You don’t know that.”  
By the time you did wake up, Kiara and Pope had come back from the HMS, huddled in the corner of the waiting room with John B and Sarah, whispering with each other about what had happened and checking every few seconds that JJ, who was pacing back and forth, wearing out a rug near the nurses’ station. He was the first one back to see you when the nurse finally came out to tell them that you were awake. JJ was shaking worse than he had in the car. Kiara had found a clean shirt of his in the back of her SUV, the old one tossed in a trash can in the men’s bathroom when Pope suggested changing so he didn’t totally freak you out.  
And you, JJ felt like his heart was pounding up into his throat when he walked into the hospital room and saw you laying there in bed, hooked up to IVs and only half lucid because of the morphine that they were giving you. But you gave him that sleepy smile you did in the mornings when you slept over at John B’s with him and the shaking in his hands started to subside as he dragged a chair over and sat down next to you.  
“Hey,” you whispered, voice hoarse from being intubated during surgery.  
All the promises that he’d whispered in the car, that Sarah had supplied him with as they sat up and waited all night, they were true. You were awake and you’d be okay and he was gonna nail Rafe to the wall for this...but maybe for now he’d just sit with you and remember how to breath.  
“Hey.”
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wannabe-fic-writer · 3 years
Text
WandaNat x Reader : Inhale pt. 2
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Summary: She never ceases to surprise you.
Warning: Smoking, Cursing, One Suggestive Joke
Word Count: 1,998
Part 1
* * * * * *
The white paint stares back at you as you lay on your bed. Your view of the ceiling is obscured by the red ball you toss up into the air. It gets slightly smaller as it moves away from you, then larger as it falls back down. 
Your hand catches it and throws it back up into the air, repeating the same process as the tv plays on monotonously from the corner of the room.
Boredom has been washed over you for the past few days. Your girlfriends went on a mission last week. You were able to pass the time during the first week, keeping yourself distracted by hanging around the team, training with Steve, going for a run every time your fingers twitched towards the cigarettes you had hidden in your closet. All of that was failing to work right now.
It seems, though, that you don’t have to suffer through it much longer. F.R.I.D.A.Y chimes up after hours of quiet with an alert that Natasha and Wanda were back and heading to the room. 
You instantly perk up, pushing yourself to a sitting position on the bed and glancing at the door frequently, ready for your girls to walk in. Except they don’t.
The gleeful, happy to be home, response you were expecting is replaced by their clearly upset demeanors. A frown sits on Wanda’s face like you’ve never seen and Natasha’s expression remains neutral. 
They don’t acknowledge you save for a glance in your direction. Both of them go into the closet and quickly change into more comfortable clothes. In an instant afterwards they’re leaving out. And you’re left beyond confused.
With the possible reasons for their behavior and clear attitudes in your head, you don’t take offense to it. You give them some time to cool off, going back to tossing your ball in the air and catching it as you watch tv. 
Around an hour or two later you decide they’re fine now, or at least fine enough to talk to. So you get up, heading first to the kitchen to grab a bottle of cold water and then to the general training room. 
The sound of familiar huffs and the pounding of fists against a leather bag let’s you know your assumption was right. Your redheaded love is off to the fair side of the gym, headphones in her ears as she beats on the punching bag. 
You smirk at the sight of her. Not only do her yoga pants and sports bra look great on her, you always find her focused and slightly aggressive expression kind of hot. She glances at you as you approach and you know she can hear you despite her headphones.
Stopping behind the bag, you lean on it, showing off your smirk to the woman.“ If you really want to work off your frustrations I can think of a good way to do so.” Natasha grunts, rolling her eyes and focusing on punching the bag. 
With a sigh, you move to her side, gently taking her taped up hands and moving in front of her. Forest green eyes look into yours and you give her your best encouraging smile. She knows what your silent question is and sighs.
“The mission went south. We suffered a civilian casualty and others got hurt.” Her expression and tone remain neutral but obviously she’s upset about this. It isn’t her first time dealing with this kind of thing from a mission but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t hate every bit of it. 
“I’m sorry to hear that baby.” You raise your hands to her arms and gently rub them, squeezing a little in between.
Natasha’s heart warms at your soft comforts.“ I’ll be okay. Wan is more torn up than I am. She-” The woman shakes her head,“ she blames herself.” 
You frown, prepared to ask for more details. Then you figure you can ask the girlfriend who’s more deeply affected by it. 
“I’ll go talk to her.” Natasha nods at your words.“ You gonna be okay?” A teasing smile forms on your lips.“ I know you’re my super tough ex-assassin but I’m here if you want to talk.”
Her lips tug up in the corner at your teasing words, but it quickly becomes a sincere smile when you offer your ear. Slowly reaching up, she runs the pad of her thumb along the apple of your cheek.“ I’m okay detka. I’ll let you know if I need to talk. Or your other services.” 
You chuckle softly and nod. Leaning forward, you press a soft, quick kiss to her lips and part, heading off to find your other girlfriend. The not so tough witchy one you love just as much. 
Finding the woman proved to be a little harder than you thought it would be. She wasn’t in any of the places you thought she would be in: the library, the theater, the common room. You wrack your brain for ideas as to where she is and when the last place pops into mind, you can’t believe you hadn’t thought of it first.
It’s a quick jog to the elevator and an even shorter ride up to the top floor. From there you take the stairs up to the roof. 
She’d stolen this spot from you a few months after you started dating. She and Natasha found you up there smoking once and through the year and a half she would find you up here, sometimes sneaking a smoke when you shouldn’t be. 
Her long brown tresses fall down her back freely, the rest of her beauty hidden as she faces away from you. Though you still find her insanely cute that she’s in your hoodie and some stretch pants. 
The long slow straightening of her form clues you in on her deep breath, her body relaxing as she lets it go. You only get a little confused when she pauses and does it again. A thought that you’re unsure of, but the physical cues make you curious. The familiar movement of her arm, the deep breath, the pause. 
“Wan?” You call with an indescribable look on your face. 
Your brunette girlfriend’s shoulders drop and she turns to you. Immediately your eyes focus on the small cylinder in between her fingers, watching as it rises and rests between her lips. 
She takes a quick pull, pauses, let’s a little smoke go, then it all comes out in a straight shot that disperses in the air. It’s such a smooth combination of actions that leaves you wondering if she’d done this before. 
Deciding to hold your comment on that until after she’s completely calm, you take a different route. Approaching her still pacing form, you cross your arms and ask,“ was it that bad?” 
A snort leaves her lips and she takes another drag.“ Worse.” 
“Tell me.” Your hand reaches for her free one and you pull her towards you as you sit on the ledge of the roof. 
Her hand squeezes yours. Your eyes drop from her green ones to her lips as they wrap around the cylinder again, cheeks caving a little, then her lips puckering slightly as she pushes the smoke out. 
“I heard Natasha get hurt,” she starts, fingers once again tightening around yours,“ I looked away for a split second and he got away. We caught him but not until after he shot the tires out on a car. It flipped and crashed into another one.” Her jaw clenches, eyes glossing with tears.“ He hurt a man and his son and- and killed a woman.”
A heavy sigh leaves your lips and you stand, pulling her a little closer to your form. You’d been down this road a number of times. Being on the Avengers team since the beginning almost, you know exactly what it’s like to make a mistake and have others pay for it. It was a deep hole that never ceased to make you hate yourself. But you didn’t want Wanda feeling that way. 
“Hey,” you reach a hand up to cup her cheek, looking into her eyes,“ I know that it hurts. And it’s easy to blame yourself. But it’s not your fault. He made the choices that resulted in that woman losing her life, not you.” 
“But I’m supposed to be the hero. I’m supposed to save people. And I didn’t.” Her accent thickens as she gets choked up, eyes glossing over.
You sigh, taking the cigarette from her hand and putting it out on the ledge, then pull her into your arms. Her head rests on your shoulder and her hands slip up to your shoulder blades.“ You are a hero. A great hero. However, you’re not a perfect one. None of us are. It sucks in situations like this but you can’t save everyone no matter how much we want to. It doesn’t make you a bad person or any less of a hero.”
From the flicker of emotions in her eyes, you can tell it’s still going to take some time for her to cope with this. Still though you see a glimpse of that soft look and you can also see that she believes you to a certain extent.
Raising your hand, you gently push the corner of her lips up. She whines and turns her head away, noncommittally pushing at your side. It makes you laugh and she presses her forehead against your chest.
“Wanna tell me where you got that cigarette from?” You ask. 
She pulls away, producing a pack of cigarettes. Brows furrowing, you flip the top up and count the cigarettes inside. There were four missing.
“Did you smoke four whole cigarettes before I got up here?” An incredulous tone laces your words, disbelief flooding your system. 
Has your habit rubbed off on her? You know she and Nat found it attractive but did that lead Wanda to try it? It’s a terribly unhealthy habit, which is why your girlfriends wanted you to stop, and you certainly didn’t want Wanda getting into it.
“No, I didn’t smoke four. I got these from your boot in the closet,” she tells you.“ Which means you smoked them.”
“I-” you try to think of what to say.“ That was over the course of a few weeks. I haven’t had one in months though.” You know you didn’t need to give her an explanation but you wanted her to know you were still doing well. 
Wanda and Natasha were very well aware of your progression towards quitting. They could even tell the difference in your behavior. Both women were incredibly proud and admittedly you were proud of yourself as well. You had confidence you would be able to completely quit in the fairly near future. 
The younger woman smiles softly at you,“ I know you haven’t. And you don’t have to worry about me starting. It’s actually very nasty and I didn’t feel it did anything for my stress.” 
“Good. I don’t want you forming an addiction and I don’t want to die if Nat found out you’d started by smoking my cigarettes.” 
“She knows now.” 
Nearly jumping a foot in the air, you turn around to see your other girlfriend smirking a little at you. A nervous chuckle leaves your lips and you scratch the back of your neck. 
Rolling her eyes, Natasha steps to the side to stand beside you and Wanda. Her hand slipping into yours, the other held up towards Wanda. 
Wanda sighs and places the pack of cigarettes in Natasha’s hand. The redhead pockets them then takes the younger woman’s hand.“ Neither of you smoke again.” She states plainly. 
Looking at Wanda, you both nod.“ Never again Miss Romanoff.” You and Wanda say simultaneously, bright smiles shown to Natasha.
It’d be harder than that for you but not impossible. Especially not with the support and encouragement of the two women you loved and needed the most.
* * * * * *
Taglist: @owloftheshadows​ @natasha-danvers​ @blackxwidowsxwife​ @yumusak-yastik​ @b-5by5​ @fayhar​ @lostandsearching​ @iliketozoneout​ @ecruzsalaz
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rek1s-headband · 3 years
Note
if it's okay with you, could I request headcanons for reki and langa with a shy s/o?
A/N: Thanks for the request! Hope you enjoy:)
With a shy s/o
Characters: Reki Kyan, Langa Hasegawa x gn! reader
Warnings: none!
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Reki
Absolutely loves it
It’s a real comfort to him. Being the upbeat, talkative person that he is, he appreciates having someone there to just listen to him, to just take everything in instead of questioning him on it
Would be like your bodyguard in public. If he feels you’re getting uncomfortable while you’re both around a lot of new people, he’ll either offer to take you around and introduce you to them so you feel better, or take you outside for a breather
Always asking if you’re comfortable going places when he knows a lot of people will be there
Sometimes he can be a bit blind to stressful situations. Being the extrovert he is, he’s a lot more comfortable being around new people, talking and making passing comments with ease. But one tug of his arm or a quiet glance his way and he’s springing into action, holding you close and asking what he can do to make you feel better
Eases you into things. He’s always going to make sure you gradually get used to new places, and will never leave your side
The pair of you met at S. he was racing in a beef against your friend, and you were there to support him. The two of them were on good terms of course, it was just a friendly race
He saw you chatting to him after the race, and he was honestly blown away by how gorgeous you were. He found himself staring, admiring your quiet smile, talking in a hushed voice. He wondered why you weren’t talking louder, it wasn’t exactly a library out here after all.
Langa flicked his temple after a minute or two, saying “if you’re gonna keep ogling them like a creep, you might as well go say hi.” He could feel himself glowing with embarrassment, but before he knew it he was shaking off his nerves and walking right over to you
He called out to your friend, giving him a high five as he began to talk about the race. You stayed relatively quiet, glancing at your phone occasionally and looking around. This threw Reki for a loop, surely you had something to say about the race? Confident as he was, he didn’t feel like starting a conversation without your friend hopefully introducing him first.
Just as he expected, your friend pulled you over, introducing you to Reki. You gave him a smile and a quiet “hello” before going back to your phone. Reki was a bit disappointed, but he didn’t let it show. Soon after, your friend announced he needed to go talk to his friend, and he’d leave you two to chat for a few minutes. You watched him leave with pleading eyes, begging him not to leave you with this complete stranger
There was a silence between you two for a minute or so, but Reki soon broke the silence. “So how did you find the race? Did you like it?” The words were already spilling out, and you felt yourself get embarrassed. What were you supposed to say??
“Yeah, it was..good.” You were mentally kicking yourself, wishing you could say more, but your brain was turning to mush in its attempt to converse with this new person. It didn’t help that he was, well, cute. Like, really cute. His hair was held back with a headband, but a lot of it still managed to escape, his fluffy locks obscuring his vision. You found yourself staring, and only snapped out of it when he waved a gentle hand in front of your face.
“Nothing else? What did you think of my skating? Was I good? Did I look cool?” He was ducking his head down to the part of the ground you were staring at, looking up at you with big eyes. He wasn’t used to talking to such quiet people, but hey, it was something he could get used to. To him, there was something quite endearing about your small smiles and wide eyes, simply taking in the world around you. You reminded him of Langa when he first met him, one-word replies and big eyes. He grinned, hoping you’d warm up to him like Langa did
He began to worry you didn’t want to talk to him when you didn’t respond, but a grin quickly spread across his face when he realised you were blushing. Reki’s mind was going into overdrive as your eyes widened, throwing your hands over your face.
“No! I mean- you were really cool, I liked that trick you did in the middle...” your voice quietened again when Reki dramatically let out a gasp, collapsing to his knees and holding a hand out to you. Your face was practically crimson at this point, frantically looking around, wishing for your friend to materialise and rescue you. You turned back to Reki, about to ask him what he was doing, when he suddenly spoke up.
“THEY SPEAK!!” He shot you another smile. “And here I was under the impression you just stood there and looked pretty.” You felt your face grow impossibly redder, but you surprised even yourself when you let out a loud laugh. Reki looked at you with wide eyes, and he could feel his grin grow even wider. You pulled him off the ground, looking around, still half mortified from his display. You tried to let go of his hand once you picked him up, but he just held it even tighter, his face inches from yours.
“So what I’m hearing is that you liked my skating?” You tried to look away from him, but you could feel yourself getting lost in his amber eyes. Taking the record for the worlds worst timing, your friend came back with a drink in his hand, apologising for how long he took before his eyes landed on the pair of you. To any bystander, the two of you looked quite intimate. Hand in hand, faces inches away from meeting
You pushed away from Reki, resembling a tomato as you waved your hands, telling your friend it wasn’t what it looked like, that you were just talking. You turned to Reki for backup, but you were met with someone who could only be described as though they were on airplane mode. A giddy grin on his face, and a small blush creeping across his face, he quietly ran a hand through his messy hair while giggling. This only worsened your case, turning around to your friend to hide in his shoulder.
Of course, Reki magically ended up with your number by the end of the night, and you were bombarded with texts before you could even set foot outside the doors of S
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Langa
Unlike Reki, he’s slightly more versed in the art of silence. You can always guarantee a bit of a brain break when you’re with Langa, just enjoying each other’s company in comfortable silence
As for Langa, he appreciates having someone who doesn’t expect him to be keeping up with them talking a mile a minute. Of course, he loves listening to peoples’ endless babbling too, he just likes to be a bit more active in the conversation sometimes, which you make easy with your quieter demeanour, leaving more space in between your sentences for him to give input
He is glued to your hip in public. Mumbling sweet nothings in your ear as you walk along the streets, he’ll quietly talk about random things he finds strange or funny about the things he sees around him, keeping you in gentle company so you dont feel stressed
At any social gatherings with a lot of people, he’s rubbing circles in your hand, making sure you’re not uncomfortable with the people around you. If at any point he sees you begin to get restless, he’ll excuse the oar of you and take you for a walk, or even just to get a glass of water
The two of you met at the skate park. He’d been practicing with Reki when he saw you walk in with one or two of your friends, shifting from foot to foot as you scanned the park, checking to eye who was there. When your eyes landed on him, you were surprised to see he was looking straight back at you. Embarrassed, you looked away. Suddenly the floor was looking quite appealing to you.
Slightly agape, Langa’s mouth quickly turned into a little pout. You didn’t even smile...Of course, you didn’t even know him, but why did he suddenly feel like he really wanted you to?
Reki watched his friend’s mind spin, a little grin settling on his face. Did little Langa here have a crush? The cogs were already turning in his head, thinking of ways to make the pair of you interact. Not to mention, he wouldn’t mind getting cozy with your friends while you two talked...
“Langaaaa, you should really go talk to them yknow.” Langa almost gave himself whiplash with how fast he turned his head away from you, a look of panic spreading over his face while he stammered out that Reki had it all wrong, that he just wanted to see who’d come into the park. Reki tutted, putting his hand in his chin. He mumbled about how Langa shouldn’t lie, that it was normal to find people hot, which earned him a smack into the back of his skull
Somewhere during the play fight, the two heard a flurry of hello’s being exchanged, and they looked over to where you had been standing. Your friends were now talking to who Langa assumed were more of your friends, and watched as you trailed a little behind, carrying your skateboard awkwardly and not really knowing what to do with yourself. It became apparent to Langa that these new people weren’t friends of yours, and he felt his heart ache as he watched you stand a few feet back, glancing around and at your phone.
Reki saw how Langa stared at you, and before long he was dragging Langa up, and over in your direction. “Come on prince Langa, save your damsel in distress.” Langas brain went jdskhvmhcb as he thought of just what he was supposed to say to you, and hoped Reki would just do the talking. But to his distress, Reki gave him one last push and ran back to where the pair had been sitting. Langa looked back with a face that could only be described as “fuck you, seriously go fuck yourself.” As as he turned back around, he was met with your big eyes and a look of curiosity
He took a deep breath, taking a second to compose himself, and he took a stab at introducing himself
“Uh..hi” he mentally kicked himself, obviously that wasn’t going to do anything?? He was pleasantly surprised when you gave him a smile and a small “hello” in return. This was enough for him to regain his confidence, making another attempt at conversation
“Ok so..I saw you standing here and, uh, I was wondering if you were alright. You just seemed kind of lost.” He gave you a soft smile, giving his shoulders a little shrug as if to say well there you have it. “I’m Langa, by the way.” You looked up at him as he spoke, and Jesus, he could feel himself staring at you again. There was no denying you were incredibly attractive, and from up close it was just amplified. He was brought back to reality when you laughed, and his face lit up when he realised you were going to actually talk to him.
“Well, thank you for your concern, I didn’t really know what I was supposed to do with myself honestly.” You let out a quiet sign, giving him a soft smile before continuing. “It’s my first time here, and my other friends have been here before, they’ve gone over to their friends, and I didn’t really want to interrupt. I still dont exactly know how to ride this thing yet either,” you motioned to the board in your hand, “so you can imagine my predicament.” Langa looked down at you with a smile, quietly laughing before attempting to talk
“Well, if you want, I can give you a few pointers.” You gave him a look of concern, waving your hands around. “Oh no, its fine, you’re with your friend, I wouldn’t want to butt in-“ your rambling was cut short when he grabbed your hand, and you felt your face heat up.
“You’re not interrupting anything. Let me just grab my board and we can start.” He brought you over to Reki, who was acting completely oblivious to what had been going on, even though he was the evil bastard who set the two of you up. He looked up with a smile, handing Langa his board and offering you some food with a wink in both of your directions. He chuckled as he watched Langa lead you away, getting up and grabbing his board, deciding that while your friends were there he might as well attempt to impress them.
“Keep yourself a bit more balanced.” Langa instructed you from atop your board “you wont fall off as much then.” You were glowing from embarrassment, feeling like all eyes were on you as you failed to stand on the board without shaking. You mumbled about how it was easier said than done, sighing as you got off the board again. Langa nudged you to stand onto it again, this time his hands wandered to your waist. If you weren’t crimson before, you were now. Langa quickly realised how suggestive this looked, looking up at you with a panicked expression
“Uh-Not like that! I just..to keep the board still!” He was now redder than you, if that was somehow possible. In an attempt to stabilise yourself, you put your hands over his on your waist, which you soon realised only worsened the situation. You were both a stumbling, red mess within seconds. Reki watched from the sidelines, amused by your ministrations.
After a while, you started to get used to the board, but even after you got comfortable Langa’s arms never left your waist. You had been practicing with him for well over an hour now, and your friends were ready to leave. With giggles and nudges they made their way over to the pair of you, before shouting your name and scaring the shit out of the two of you.
As you got off your board and got ready to leave, Langa grabbed your hand. Your face flushing red once more, you turned to him questionably
“Um.. I had a lot of fun today, would you maybe want to do it again sometime?” Your friends jumped up and down behind you as the pair of you exchanged numbers and a quick hug. Blushing as you linked arms with your friend, you gave Langa one last smile before leaving the park
Maybe you were glad your friends dragged you here today after all
856 notes · View notes
hannie-dul-set · 3 years
Text
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PAIRING. huang renjun x fem! reader. GENRE. high school! au, suggestive. WARNINGS. attempted murder, mentions of blood and self injury, veryy descriptive kissing, mc has a few screws lost, swearing, depictions of unstable behavior. WORD COUNT. 1.8k GENRAL TAGLIST. @danishmiilk @wownajaemin @leejunini @astroboy-lele @unknown5tar @yunoyeol @w0nni3wrld @charm-art @bat-shark-repellant @keemburley @deliciouslyyellow​ (pls dm me to be added/removed!)
NOTE. ah yes, the only two genres: murder and making out. inspired by the dream i mentioned earlier. different events, but same vibe HAHA. disclaimer that no matter how much you hate your academic rival, never ever turn to attempted murder! thank you and enjoy
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huang renjun— with all his picture perfect smiles, prim and proper tucked in shirts, a pretty face enough to have you on your knees, and with a perfect gpa to top it all off— was someone you wanted.
wanted six feet under the ground.
“hey, congrats!”
speak of the fucking devil.
“you always do really well,” huang renjun towers over you in front of your desk as you sit down. you look up from the wrinkled certificate that have the abhorrent words second honorable mention printed on it's scented surface, only to face his fucking face instead. he beams at you with a smile. you feel convulsions wringing inside your throat. “congratulations again.”
you don't miss the first honor certificate tucked between his books in a measly attempt of concealment. it takes everything in your power to force out something of a smile.
“thanks. you too.”
with that, he quickly scurries away into his seat next to yours with red ears.
your first period teacher enters, beginning class with a greeting, but your mind is elsewhere.
it’s only midterms, you breathe out through your nose, hugging your arms above your desk while sketching out a study plan for the rest of the semester in your head. there’s enough time before graduation. the hold you had on yourself gradually becomes tighter.
still, you know that even if you worked yourself day and night until you bled cold and crimson, huang renjun would still be one step ahead. you bite down your lip, peeling off the dry skin with a sourness writhing in your gut, digging your fingers deeper into your arms. if only he were gone. you leer at the boy diligently taking his notes beside you. if only he were gone gone gone gone—
your eyes widen, ignoring the blood staining your nails.
if only he were gone.
after class, you walk up to his desk and asked if he wanted to work on the physics homework at his place tomorrow. he says yes with starry eyes in a heartbeat.
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the next day, renjun couldn’t wait for the final bell to ring. you, too, couldn’t remain in your seat— albeit for a different reason. so when the ringing occurs, the both of you don’t waste a second in finally heading out of the campus.
it’s a silent walk to his place, a standard suburban neighborhood, the sky slowly turning orange in the background. every time you turn your head to look at him, he looks back with a small smile, and you can’t help your hands from twitching at your sides.
renjun unlocks the door and meekly welcomed you inside.
“you can leave your shoes here,” he says, digging his keys into the back pocket of his school slacks with dangling noises. you look at him, smiling, and with a soft hum you leave your school shoes next to his, trailing behind him into the living room.
looking around, you ask him. “are your parents home?” there was an opening that leads to the kitchen, glass doors showing the backyard. the stairs that lead to the second floor are made of sleek, dark oak. it’s a modern interior. they have a fireplace inside.
“no,” he breathes out, wetting his dry throat with a swallow before turning back to face you. “they’re out on business. i don’t think they’ll be home until the weekend.”
the both of you stop right in front of the staircase.
“i see.”
he quickly muffles a cough and leads you up to his room.
the inside of renjun’s room is neat— organized books on the shelf and sheets neatly pressed. There’s a set of candles beside his bed. you hold back a scoff. as expected from the top student.
your eyes flit over from the window above his bed to look at him, instead.
“you don’t have to be so nervous around me, you know,” you muse, dropping down your bag to join him on the floor. worksheets littered with numbers and constants, gravity and acceleration, all scatter on the floor. they blow with the wind knowing that they wouldn’t even be filled in, anyway.
“sorry,” renjun sputters out, loosening his striped necktie with two fingers. his vision is kept trained on the wall behind you. “i’m not— i’m not doing it on purpose.”
you adjust your legs on the floor, skirt riding. “is there a reason?”
“a reason?” he gulped.
“why you can’t look me in the eye.”
renjun thinks he sees the corners of your lips twitching upwards.
“i’ll— i’ll go open the window, it’s a little hot in here, isn’t it?” scrambling to his feet, his knees sink into the navy sheets of his bed, reaching for the window in a nervous flurry to let the air in. “the news said that the temperature’s slowly gonna start rising but i didn’t think it would be—”
he bumps into you when he turned back.
there’s a click from behind him.
the wind stopped coming in.
“it’s not really that hot.”
the way your breath fanned against his lips makes his head spin in circles.
you have an arm out against the glass, your sleeve’s fabric grazing his tempered cheek when you went to shut the window down. renjun feels a ghost in the air where there’s a space in between you. “i— i guess you’re right,” he says, clearing his throat. “i never expected that you’d ask to work together.”
there’s syrup at the end of your sentence. “you seemed pretty happy when i did, though.”
he isn’t sure if it’s just him or if you’re slowly getting closer. “well, that’s— that’s because i—”
“you don’t have to say it.”
your voice digs deep into his bones like chains of velvet. he can feel your chest pressing against him now, crushing the sense of rationality that he was bestowed with from birth and is replaced with a warm lush of rabid, violent waters gushing into bit of him stomach,
it comes off a whisper yet it sends him reeling.
“i know.”
renjun swallows. hard. but he’s afraid you’d hear the manifestations of a tempered restlessness that had managed to crawl its way up to the tips of his fingers— which found themselves resting onto the curve of your back. stray strands of his swair sweeps above his eyes, obscuring the closeness of your face, and he wants to ask how. how did you know that he likes you.
he never got to.
the question doesn’t even get to resurface after the first hit of your cherry flavored chapstick, his bottom lip caught in between yours, teeth grinding against the plush, pink skin. the second hit has his decorum slowly peeling away from his skin when his tongue traces over yours in a hot mess of delirium, when you settle between his legs, a coarse groan vibrating in his throat. the third has him forgetting his own name.
his eyes are hazy when you pull back with a rough smacking of the mouth. with a short-winded voice, you ask him.
“do you mind if i make a call?”
renjun looks at you in a fit of breathlessness.
an airy laugh leaves your lips that he can’t stop staring at. you press a kiss on his nose. “my parents need to know that i won’t be going home tonight.”
dazed, he answers. “y-yeah, sure.”
he blinks a few times before letting you go.
“take your time.”
you send him a smile before fishing your backpack from the floor and leaving the room.
just like that, a switch was flipped.
upon closing the door, you quickly twist the knob, locking it with the keys that you’d snatched from him earlier. it’s convenient that he has each one labelled— a belated thank you to your school’s ever organized golden boy who never fails to make you sick in the stomach.
at each wall you pass, you make sure to seal the windows shut and have all the doors closed. the contents of your bag make steady pangs against your back as you shuttled down the stairs. you lock the back door shut, close all the windows, turn on all the lights, and throw a match into their fireplace, waiting for the fire to come to full bloom. all that’s left is the kitchen.
there’s no time wasted in turning everything on— the microwave, oven, and the stove until you can't crank them any further. embers fly into the air. it’s getting hotter. you duck down to the compartment under the stove to reveal a white painted propane tank, taking out a cordless soldering iron to seal the safety relief valve close. you place a rag over the opening valve and twist it halfway through. a hissing sound whizzes through the air.
with that, you leave through the front door, locking it for good measure. his keys disappear into the bush nearest to their porch.
it’s only a matter of time until huang renjun ceases to be a pest anymore. if not for good, then at least lethally injured.
you head home to finish your physics worksheets that were due tomorrow.
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for the first time in god knows how long, you wake up and head to school with a well rested air.
you take your things out of your backpack, humming a soft tune right before the bell rings for your first class. your other seatmate— donghyuck— notices your unusual cheery demeanor, and inquires about its oddities. you simply answer him with an allusion to finally being free. he laughs it off and turns his head to the chalkboard.
five minutes before eight. the doors creak open. you’re ready to stand and greet your teacher until you realize that it isn’t her.
it’s not.
it’s not.
it’s not.
something nauseating knocks into your lungs and stifles your throat, eyes wide and stinging. it squeezes your neck with poison prickling the surface.
huang renjun enters the classroom with his usual nods and smiles to everyone he passes.
“holy shit, dude. you look like hell.”
“i didn’t get any sleep last night,” he laughs, lightheartedly. “guess i’ll have to sleep through recess.”
your teeth grind against your lips, supple skin turning redder at each nip. your nails leave scratches on the desk as you rattle in your seat, thinking, thinking, panicking. each breath feels like choking on pulverized copper in sulfuric air. there’s a ringing in your ears and you hear nothing except your own voice screaming why is he here why is he here why is he here?
he doesn’t go to his desk. he’s standing right in front of you.
“you look well.”
it sears your fingerprints off your skin.
you don’t answer, don’t even look at him. he breaks into a small smile and leans forward, one hand pressed against your desk and the other reaching for a lock of your hair as he nears and nears and nears. “there’s something here,” he says.
there isn’t.
“you left my window unlocked, baby.”
his hot breath hits your cold cheek, tucking a strand behind with a smile. to everyone else, it would look sweet— heart fluttering. to you it was a death sentence. renjun breathes out a contained chuckle into your ear before letting his hand fall on your shoulder, a tight grip at the last second.
“better luck next time.”
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© HANNIE-DUL-SET. 2021.
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269 notes · View notes
drabbles-mc · 3 years
Text
This Is Her?
Angel Reyes x F!Reader
Request by Anon: well i was thinking of angel, something with him introducing his s/o to the mc if you're up for it? and ez was good friends with the reader already but didn't know at all they were with angel, so like big big surprise for everyone ❤ (and maybe angel gets kinda possessive too)
Warnings: language, mentions of alcohol, the lightest and tiniest bit of angst, and a dash of jealous Angel
Word Count: 2.2k
A/N: The whole idea of the reader and EZ already knowing each other was super intriguing to me, so that sort of became a bit of a focal point for this fic. Hope that’s okay haha. Enjoy! xo
Angel Reyes Taglist: @mayans-sauce​ @helli4nthus​ @angelreyesgirl​ @encounterthepast​ @lilacyennefer​ @everyhowlmarksthedead​ @starrynite7114​ @queenbeered​ @rosieposie0624​ @mylittlelonelyappreciationtoo​ @sincerelyasomebody​ @mijop​ @sadeyesgf​ @xladymacbethx​ @thesandbeneathmytoes​ @blessedboo​ @appropriate-writers-name​ @holl2712​ @tomhardydallasstarsgirl​ @lakamaa12​ @multiyfandomgirl40​ @luckyharley1903​ @sillygoose6969​ @beardburnsupersoldiers​ @louisianalady​ @gemini0410​ @garbinge​ @paintballkid711​ @chibsytelford​ @yourwonkywriter​ @sesamepancakes​ @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​ @plentyoffandoms​ @georgiaaintnopeach​ @twistnet​ @themoonandthewicked​ @bucky-iss-bae​ @enjoy-the-destruction​
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When Angel had invited you to go to a clubhouse party with him, you hesitated. You knew that you should have been jumping at the opportunity but there was something in your gut that was making you nervous. The two of you had been keeping your relationship quiet for a number of reasons, but mainly because he felt like he was keeping you safe by keeping you a little distant from the club. Deep down you both knew that if you were going to stay together, you couldn’t stay in the dark. But it also felt like there was an immense amount of pressure resting on your shoulders for this night to go well.
The other thing that was nagging at your mind, was that you had failed to mention to Angel that you already knew his brother, and you never told EZ that you were dating Angel. Not telling EZ about your relationship just fell into line with the two of you deciding not to tell anyone. You couldn’t quite pinpoint why you had never told Angel that you were already friends with his brother. You knew that deep down that EZ was an insecurity point for Angel, and maybe you just didn’t want to exacerbate that issue. But there wasn’t going to be any more hiding it, now.
He knocked on the doorframe of your bedroom, a smile on his face as he looked at you, “You ready, hermosa?”
You nodded, trying to come off more confidently than you really felt, “You bet. Just gotta grab my shoes and I’ll be good to go.”
“Wanna take the bike?” he offered.
You smiled, “I would love to take the bike.”
You were pressed snug up against Angel’s back as he rolled into the lot at the clubhouse. Part of you had no desire to let him go and get off the bike—you would’ve just ridden around with him forever if you could. But you knew that you’d done enough avoiding and it was time to just suck it up and get this over with. You knew it wasn’t ever going to be as bad as your brain was trying to make it out to be.
“C’mon,” Angel chuckled as he patted your hands that were still resting on his stomach, “it’ll be fun. I promise.”
With a tiny sigh, you let him go. After unclasping your helmet and handing it to him so he could hang it off the handlebars with his own, you swung your leg over and hopped off the bike. You smoothed your shirt out, trying to ignore the way that Angel was staring at you.
He stepped in and draped his arm around your shoulders, placing a soft kiss on your temple. Neither of you said anything as you made your way towards the clubhouse. You could hear the music and clamoring conversations from outside. There were a few people scattered around on the deck, but the fac that Angel didn’t try to stop and talk to any of them led you to believe that they weren’t the people of importance that he was bringing you here to meet.
He pushed open the door to the clubhouse and you were hit with a wave of heat that was tinged with the smell of alcohol and cigarette smoke. It took you a second to get your bearings and get your mind right, but you didn’t have the time to be caught off-guard as Angel ushered you into the room.
“Am I gonna have to remember the names of all these people?” you asked quietly.
He chuckled and shook his head, “No, don’t worry about it,” he gave your hip a light, reassuring squeeze.
You’d heard a lot about all of the men in the club. That was one part of his life with the MC that he didn’t feel like he had to hide you from. Despite the fact that you didn’t have any faces to go with the names, except for Ezekiel, you knew a lot about each member of the club. It was interesting because you knew that they didn’t know anything about you.
“Y/N?” you heard EZ’s voice clearly through the noise of the clubhouse.
Angel couldn’t hide the surprise on his face as his little brother came up and wrapped you in a hug. You laughed and leaned into him for a moment, unable to lie to yourself about the fact that it was comforting to see him.
“Hey, EZ,” you smiled at him.
Angel was looking back and forth between the two of, very confused, “Was gonna introduce you to her, ‘mano, but it doesn’t look like I have to.”
Now it was EZ’s turn to look surprised, “She’s the girl you’ve been seeing?”
“She’s right here, you know,” you chuckled, “You can stop talking about me in the third person.”
“Sorry,” EZ chuckled and shook his head, “Just didn’t think that you were going to be the girl he rolled in with tonight.”
“Surprise,” you laughed.
“I’ll catch up with you later, alright?” he stepped in and gave you a quick hug before clapping Angel on the shoulder and making his way back into the thick of the party.
Angel motioned for you to sit down at the bar and you did, your nerves intensifying as he sat down next to you as he ordered each of you a beer. You twisted the bottle between your fingers as you waited for him to say something. You could see the thoughts swirling around in his eyes.
“So, you know Boy Scout?”
You nodded, “Yea. He came into the shop a while back. Asked for some really fucking obscure book that I had to place an order just to get for him,” you chuckled, “We hit if off well enough. Been friends ever since.”
“Didn’t think to mention that to me?”
You shrugged, “Didn’t know EZ’s last name at first. Once I put two and two together, though, it felt like it was too late to bring it up. We weren’t telling people about us and I know you feel some type of way about your brother sometimes. Just…didn’t know how to approach the topic.”
“He ever try and hit on you?”
You rolled your eyes and tried to suppress a smile, “No, Angel.”
“Good,” the serious expression fell away from his face as he allowed himself to smile. He leaned in and kissed you lightly on the lips, “’Cause you’re mine.”
You laughed, instantly feeling the knot in your stomach starting to loosen. You could handle the rest of whatever the night had to throw at you now that the cat was out of the bag. You reached over and rested your hand on Angel’s thigh as you scanned the clubhouse and tried to get your bearings.
“So, anyone else here that you already know?” Angel smirked over at you as he watched you look around the room.
You shook your head, trying not to laugh, “No, I don’t think so.”
As the night wore on, Angel slowly started introducing you to everyone in the club. Some of them seemed to fit all of the stories that Angel had told you. When you finally got to meet Coco for some reason everything that Angel had ever told you about him completely clicked into place in your brain. It was so much less intimidating that you thought it was going to be. Even when you met Bishop and the rest of the elders of the club, it wasn’t as off-putting as you had made it out to be in your head. They were surprised that Angel showed up with someone like you, someone who didn’t seem like they would put themselves in the middle of the Mayans clubhouse voluntarily. They were also surprised that Angel had been able to keep his mouth shut about you for so long. But they made sure that the brunt of their jokes landed on Angel, not you. If anything, the president of the club was extremely warm and inviting towards you.
“You’re a brave woman to be taking on that responsibility,” he nodded towards Angel with a laugh.
Angel chuckled and shook his head as he pulled you onto his lap, “C’mon, Pres, I just got her here. Don’t go trying to scare her away.”
“She doesn’t seem like she’s someone who scares easy,” he flashed you a wink and nodded, “Nice meeting you.”
You and Angel found yourselves curled up together on the couch. The two of you were sitting with Coco, EZ, and Gilly. It was impossible to listen to the four of them banter back and forth without laughing. You could feel Angel’s eyes on you as he tried to make sure that you were still comfortable with everything that was happening around you. He knew it was a lot to take in all at once.
“So,” Coco shifted the topic of conversation, “Boy Scout tells me that he beat Angel to the punch?”
Angel reached over and slapped Coco’s arm, “Shut the fuck up.”
You laughed, lightly tracing your nails up and down the back of Angel’s neck in an attempt to calm him down and distract him. You felt the way that his arms tightened around you at Coco’s comment. You knew it was all in good fun, but you also knew that it was touching a very exposed and sensitive nerve for Angel.
“I’m willing to bet money,” you spoke up, “that that’s not how EZ phrased it.”
“Thank you,” EZ said with a laugh before taking a swig of his beer.
You looked at Angel and despite the fact that he was smiling, his hold on you didn’t loosen at all. Once you had written off Coco’s comment, the guys jumped right to another topic of conversation. While they were all wrapped up in it, you leaned and placed a kiss on Angel’s cheek.
You leaned in so that your lips were right next to his ear, making sure that he was the only one who could hear you, “Loosen up, baby. Don’t let ‘em get under your skin,” you pressed your lips against his jaw, “I’m all yours.”
He leaned into your touch and you felt his arm loosen ever so slightly.  You let out a sigh of relief as you leaned your head onto his shoulder, your fingertips idly tracing over the patches on his kutte as you listened to the guys banter back and forth amongst themselves.
When the night was beginning to wind down, Angel offered to bring you back home before you got too tired to safely stay on the back of his bike. You couldn’t deny that despite the fact that it had been a fun night, you were exhausted. You let him pull you up off the couch and the two of you made your way towards the clubhouse door, his arm draped around your shoulders and yours wrapped around his waist. He kept you pulled tight against him, but you could feel it in his touch that it wasn’t coming from a place of insecurity this time—you were his comfort.
The two of you said your goodbyes to the members who were still at the clubhouse, the few who hadn’t left or paired off with one of the women there. When you stepped out of the clubhouse and onto the deck, you saw EZ sitting in the steps, staring up into the sky, clearly lost in thought. Angel cleared his throat to get his attention, and EZ turned back to you both with a smile as he stood up.
“Heading out?” EZ looked at Angel.
He nodded, “Yea, before this one passes out on the back of my bike,” he gave his brother a hug, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He nodded, “See ya,” he pulled you into a hug, “You working tomorrow?”
You smiled, “Yea, I’ll be there all day.”
“Alright, I’ll try to stop in and see you.”
You didn’t have to be looking at Angel to know what his face looked like. And you could tell by the amused look on Ezekiel’s face that he was enjoying getting a rise out of his brother. You playfully rolled your eyes, “Please, come in and make more ridiculous requests. You know I love it when you make my job more difficult for me.”
“I know you do,” he had a cocky smirk on his face as he shook his head, “Get home safe. Don’t let Angel fly off the road.”
“I never do,” you laughed, “Goodnight, EZ.”
As the two of you walked away, Angel couldn’t help but to ask, “How often he come and visit you at work?”
You laughed and entwined your hand with his, “Just enough to bother you, apparently,” you shook your head slightly, “Better learn to let that shit go if you’re gonna keep letting me come around here.”
He looked at you, interest sparking in his eyes, “You wanna come back?”
You smiled, “Of course.”
“Wasn’t as bad as you thought it was gonna be?”
You couldn’t help but to laugh as the two of you approached his bike, “It wasn’t, no.”
He pulled you in for a kiss before handing you your helmet, “I’m glad you came.”
You smiled at him, lightly caressing the side of his face, “Me too.”
“But,” he chuckled as he swung his leg over his bike, “I’m even more glad that I get to take you home.”
You laughed as you climbed on behind him, wrapping your arms around him and resting your head against his back, “Yea, me too.”
452 notes · View notes
solarwonux · 3 years
Text
Illicit Affairs || Jeonghan 
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lawyer!single father!jeonghan x laywer!f!reader x mentions of seungcheol x f!reader
w.c 9k (I WASN’T EXPECTING IT TO BE THIS LONG)
warnings: single father jeonghan, cheating, angst, cursing, smut, phone sex (kind off), Seungcheol is literally an asshole I’m sorry, fingering, slight oral sex (female receiving), unprotected sex. (also I edited this in rush so I’m sorry for any mistakes)
note: Happy New Year, I decided to start this year off with a bang. Please enjoy I’m actually pretty proud of this one so let me know your thoughts. Also this is kind off a continuation of my other fic: In Another Life, so if you wish to know a little more about the relationship between Jeonghan and the reader be sure to check it out. If not enjoy :)
masterlist 
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“Are you sure you don’t need a ride home?” 
Jeonghan came up beside you, rolling the small suitcase you had taken on your week long business trip beside you putting a gentle hand on top of your shoulder making you jump. “No it’s fine Seungcheol said he would pick me up.” You nodded grabbing the strap of your falling purse and placing it onto your shoulder again. “Bomi is waiting for you, so you should go home.” You smiled fishing your phone from your purse hoping to see the on my way text from your fiancé. Instead it sat empty with the picture of you and Seungcheol the day he proposed staring back at you.
“She’s staying at my mom’s. I won’t pick her up until morning.” Jeonghan quirked an eyebrow watching as you stared at your phone screen hopelessly. Your grip getting tighter and tighter each second that passes. “I can take you home, it's really no big deal.” He reassured and moved his hand away from your shoulder before stuffing it in the pocket of his long black coat. 
You ignored his offer unlocking your phone and clicking on the message app, revealing the thread of texts between you and Seungcheol. The last one he had sent before he ghosted you for the remainder of the week was that he loved you and that he would see you at the airport when you got back. That was on Wednesday, it was now Friday and he was nowhere to be found. With a deep sigh to keep yourself from growing frustrated you sent him a quick text asking him if he was on his way before locking up your phone again and throwing it into your purse. 
“I’m sure he’s stuck in traffic. I'll be fine, you should go home, you haven’t gotten any sleep because of the time differences.” You waved a hand dismissing all his offers before grabbing your suitcase handle and rolling it closer to your body. 
There was no doubt in your mind that something was wrong. That something had been seriously wrong for the past three months as Seungcheol started distancing himself from you more and more each passing day. You figured it was the stress of his new very taxing job as well as the wedding planning and the bi-monthly trips to the New York firm that Joshua had you and Jeonghan going too. You could only hope that it was just a small bump in the road. That’s everything would go back to normal now that you wouldn’t have to go on another one of these trips until February. 
“Last chance, take it or leave it I’ll even throw in a burger from that fast food place that you like.” Jeonghan winked, bumping your shoulder against his. “I know you’re hungry, you didn’t eat any of the airplane food.” His voice lowered with concern and your grip on your suitcase handle only got tighter.
He was right you were starving but you were looking forward to going to the 24-Hour diner by your and Seungcheol’s loft just like you had for the past three years whenever either one of you got back from a business trip. It had become some sort of tradition in your relationship, but now as you searched the crowd for your missing raven haired fiancé you weren’t sure if you even wanted the M&M pancakes the two of you always shared. Or the burger Jeonghan was offering because something was wrong and your gut was sending the warning flare signal all throughout your body. 
“Temping, but I’ll pass. Now go home before I call Joshua and beg him to let me switch partners again.” 
“You’ve been trying for five years darling, and look at where it’s gotten us.” He smirked, taking his hands out of his coat pocket and placing them on top of his suitcase handle. “But since its two in the morning and Joshua would murder us if you called him for such a trivial thing. I will leave, but I’ll stay close by just in case Seungcheol doesn’t show up.” 
You rolled your eyes before playfully shoving his shoulder causing him to stagger back dramatically, a scoff leaving his lips. “Yoon Jeonghan go home, I’m serious.” You crossed your arms in front of you as he raised his hands up in surrender. 
“Fine, but text me when you get home okay. I don’t like leaving you alone at this time at night.” 
“I’ll be fine, he’s just stuck in traffic.” You said. Jeonghan shook his head before turning around and waving you goodbye. His face full of concern as he started walking away, carefully dodging the small crowds of people that had gathered in reunion. You raised your hand and waved back until he disappeared out of the airport.
It was two in the morning, there couldn’t possibly be any traffic but it was the excuse you decided to go with because it was better than admitting the truth. Something was wrong and it terrified you knowing that you had an ideas as to what it was.
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The second your apartment building came into view your stomach dropped. 
You had waited outside of the airport for thirty minutes. Texting Seungcheol repeatedly asking where he was. The last message he had sent to you on Wednesday haunted you as you read the words he had written over and over again whenever you sent him a new message.
I love you. 
The doubt slowly crept in as you shoveled the fallen snow around the concrete pavement with the toe of your boots. Did he still love you? 
For months, Seungcheol had been acting strange. His smile didn’t reach either side of his face, he didn’t laugh at your obscure little habits or antics. He didn’t look at you like you were the delicate flower amongst the sea of dead weeds. He was there with you, sharing the same roof but he wasn’t present in any sense of the word. Every time he came home he ignored you and went straight to shower or bed. He had started to pick fights with you more often. Before you left he had blown up on you in the middle of the night because you had left the bedroom window open. He had never once minded before because he knew you did it on purpose, so that when the two of you slept he would hold you closer than usual to keep you warm. 
Though instead of holding you close that night he had yelled at you and went to sleep on the couch. Leaving you alone with tears pooling in your eyes and in the cold. You had felt that exact way as you waited for your uber to arrive and now that you were standing in front of your apartment building, gripping your suitcase handle as you pathetically competed in a staring contest with the entrance. The gnawing in your stomach growing to the point where you felt nauseous.
You contemplated calling another uber and just have the driver keep you company as you settled your overflowing thoughts. Over thinking never got you anywhere you wanted. And right now your head was a pool of doubt consumed by all the scenarios you didn’t want. For your sake and his you hoped he had fallen asleep waiting for your plane to land because if any of the scenarios that were currently playing in your head ad you made your way into the building and towards the elevator; you knew you would never be able to recover it.
With a shaky finger you pressed the number four in the keypad, watching as the elevator doors closed, shutting you out from the outside world. In seconds when the same doors opened again, revealing the narrow hallway that led to your studio apartment, you’d finally know the truth. One you had been ignoring for months on end because you knew, no you hoped Seungcheol still loved you.
Maybe he still did. Maybe you were overreacting but you had this horrible habit at never trusting your gut when it was always right and something deep inside you was telling you that you were. That what you had perceived was happening was the truth and that now all you needed to do was rip it apart like a bandaid. Dwell in the pain for a while and then move on like it never happened. 
After all he had started to act like you didn’t exist anymore.
The elevator doors opened at an agonizing pace, the scene playing out almost too perfectly that it was nauseating. You didn’t even have to step out and walk a couple of steps to the right for you to see what was happening right in front of you. Seungcheol’s eyes bulged out of their sockets. His mouth falling agape before the doors could finish doing what they were meant to do and the anger inside of you built to the point you were sure fire was coming out of your ears.
You were right. 
In front of you stood Seungcheol with bags under his eyes, his hand encased with someone’s that wasn’t yours. She was pretty, prettier than you could ever be, but that wasn’t what had you fuming. It was the fact that she was here in your building, in your hallway. You wondered how many times she had been here before reliving this same scenario. You wondered how many times she sat on your couch pressed to his side? How many times had she laid in your bed underneath him? How many times she had used your bathroom along with your things after nights of utmost pleasure? Seungcheol was a good lover, you'd give him that much but he had always been a shitty liar so he had to have known that whatever fantasy world he was living in, would come to an unpleasant end.
“Excuse me.” You said gripping your suitcase handle until your knuckles turned white and walked past the lovely couple. You could feel the panic radiating out of Seungcheol’s pores and you tried to keep yourself from laughing the bitter laugh that was bubbling up in the back of your throat. The warning Jeonghan had given you three years ago when Soonyoung had first introduced you to Seungcheol hummed softly in the back of your mind as you approached your wretched apartment. 
“Be careful, he’s not someone that’s capable of love.” 
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Your body had gone into autopilot the minute you stepped out of the elevator and entered the place you once called home. You didn’t notice the spent sheets lazily thrown in the overflowing laundry basket nor the messily knocked over wine bottles on the coffee table. Your main priority in your fevered state was to get as much as you could before Seungcheol came back with the excuses he came up with during the five minutes it took for the old elevator to reach the fourth floor. 
When the sound of the door shutting rang through the heavy air surrounding your old apartment you knew you had failed. You stopped dead in your tracks dropping the pile of clothes you had chaotically fished out of one of your dresser drawers and met Seungcheol’s unreadable expression. For some reason, even though you had a hole in your chest. You didn’t feel any sadness, just anger. Seungcheol’s indifference smugly painted across his face only made you boil inside. 
“What are you doing?” Seungcheol’s voice sounded richotteing of the plain walls and into your chest making the hole inside of you grow deeper. The two of you stood in the middle of the messy hallway. Clothes that didn’t belong you where all over the room in what seemed to be a hasty frenzy. It was like he had started to replace you already with someone who in his eyes was obviously better than in you every syllable of the word.
“That’s a stupid question Seungcheol.” You scoffed and leaned down to pick up the pile of clothes you had dropped. “I’m obviously not wanted here anymore so I’m leaving.” You rolled your eyes and walked past him bumping your shoulder against his, making him stagger back slightly. You reached the dining room table where you had sprawled open your suitcase and stuffed in the clothes in your arms before turning to face him. 
Your mind must have been playing tricks on you because you saw a small flash of fear dance around his irises before it was replaced with the same indifference you were met with before. “Don’t go, I can explain.” He closed the gap between the two of you. He raised his arms hesitating before putting his warm palms against your shoulders. The air in your lungs caught itself in the back of your throat when you felt the heaviness of his touch seep through the cotton of your winter coat. Now that it had been corrupted by the touch you had once burned brightly underneath, you wanted nothing more than to to peel it off as if it were your second skin. 
“Don’t touch me Seungcheol, I don’t want your excuses.” You spat out slapping his hands and walking past him. 
“She doesn’t mean anything to me please let’s just sit down and we can talk about it.” He voiced, the broken lint cracking through his poker face. He begged following you into the room. He cringed at his clothes hanging out from closed drawers, the unmade bed and the overpowering smell of roses that didn’t belong to you. 
You ignored him opening up another drawer grabbing everything that belonged to you and leaving behind everything that didn’t. “There’s nothing to talk about you cheated on me and probably have been for months now. The damage is done. End of story Seungcheol.”  You slammed the drawer shut and moved past him, he caught your arm forcing you to turn around at lightning speed. Water was now spilling down the corner of his eyes as he finally realized that the fantasy he had been living under was simply just a fantasy. That his reality was staring back at him with dull and broken eyes. 
It broke him.
You had hurt him in the same ways he had been hurting you. At least that’s what he told himself three months ago when you had left with Jeonghan to New York for work again. When he walked into the bar and met her three beers in. When he brought her home that night and all the other nights you were away. You were cheating too so why should he be the only to suffer if he could make you suffer the same he was. 
“Does it matter, you’ve been cheating on me longer than I have been on you.” He spat letting your arm go making you stagger. Your back hit the closet door as you stared at him in disbelief. You blinked rapidly making sure you had heard him right, a nervous laugh bubbling in the back of your throat. 
“I-I’m not and I have never cheated on you what the hell Seungcheol.” You clutched the few t-shirts you were holding against your chest, “Where is this coming from?” 
“Jeonghan, you’ve been seeing Jeonghan behind my back for months now.” He yelled making you flinch. He raised his arms before bringing them down and running his hands desperately through his jet black hair. “I’m not an idiot, I saw the texts where he told you that you couldn’t tell anyone your secret.” He sat down at the edge of the bed, head in his hands as he tugged at his roots. The weight of his illicit affair finally weighed heavy on his shoulders. 
You threw the shirts you were holding in his direction, missing him completely, “You are anidiot Seungcheol, I’ve never once kissed or slept with Jeonghan before. He just got divorced, his wife left him with a four year old. It’s none of your business but the big secret we kept was him taking his daughter to work when Joshua was out of town because she was sick.” You yelled, the anger you had felt for him earlier spilling out of your ears. “God, why didn’t you just come and talk to me about it, why did you have to go and ruin everything?” 
Revenge was never sweet and he was getting a taste of his own medicine. 
Seungcheol had fucked up he knew it the second his lips met the women he had met at the bar. Yet, he had somehow convinced himself that he was right all along. Now as he heard the sincerity spill out of your perfect lips he realized how wrong he had been for three months on end. He had ruined a future so sweet it gave him toothache whenever he thought about it and nothing he could say or do would fix the damage he had done. 
“I never want to see you again.” You whispered, bringing your hand up to your chest as you slowly removed the diamond ring from your ring finger, the last thing keeping you connected to him. He had made you a promise one you never saw him fullfilling.
Almost as if on instinct, Seunghceol raised his tear stained face. The panic ran through his once soft features as you placed the ring he had given you on top of the wooden dresser. It was over, he had known it the morning after he had sinned.
He’d have to endure the consequences of his actions by himself because you were two feet out the door with almost all of your belongings including his heart.
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“I think the coffee machine is broken, again.” Jeonghan spoke as he walked into your shared office with two styrofoam cups, “I got us hot chocolate instead.” He boasted proudly as he set the steaming cup on top of your desk.
The moon had been larger than usual tonight, so, as Jeonghan honorably offered himself to go get the two of you some coffee from the machine in the employees lounge. You had taken it upon yourself to give your brain a well deserved break after hours of looking over the cases Joshua had given you and Jeonghan before he left earlier. 
Joshua was quite possibly the best boss you could ever ask for. He gave out paid vacations to all his favorite employees, which was all of them. And gave some of the best advice known to men. But he was also sneaky and did possibly everything in his power to keep you and Joenghan at the office after hours and alone. You weren’t sure what kind of game he was playing nor had you cared at first but after Jeonghan’s nasty divorce. His game became even more obvious. You had called him out on it one afternoon when it was just the two of you in the employee lounge. With a knowing smirk he had refuted your claim. Though when he walked out with a jump in his step and whistling an unfamiliar tune you knew you had been right and that he wasn’t going to stop his scheming any time soon.
His wingman tendencies became more heightened when he had noticed your missing engagement ring three days ago. Joshua had cornered you in his office before closing that night causing you to embarrassingly break down in one of his lounge chairs in front of his desk. Since then he had given you and Jeonghan an unbearable amount of work and it made you feel terrible.
Jeonghan had a four year old that needed all his undivided attention. Everyday Jeonghan would rush to pick her up from school, sometimes leaving work unfinished when he realized he was running a few minutes late. Most of the time he brought her back to the office when his mother or sister were too busy with their own lives to look after her for a few hours. She would end her days falling asleep in her uncomfortable school uniform on the couch of yours and Jeonghan’s office. He then would carefully move her to the couch in Soonyoung’s office so your baseless bickering wouldn’t disturb her peaceful slumber. When you brought up your concern to your lovely boss he had simply brushed it off because apparently Jeonghan didn’t mind. Though the miniscule stress lines breaking through Jeonghan’s face and the light bags under his eyes indicated otherwise. 
“You’re thinking again, is it Seungcheol. I know something happened because you haven’t been wearing your ring lately...and you haven’t complained once about working overtime...” Jeonghan’s voice sounded causing you to plant your feet back onto Earth’s surface. “you can tell me if anything’s wrong. Joshua’s usually the one with top tier advice but I can try my hand at it. So go on what stupid fight did the two of you get into this time?” He finished leaning back in his desk chair, arms crossed in front of him as he eyed you closely. 
“You should go home, I can finish up here. Bomi needs her bed...you need your bed.” You sighed swirling the steam from your hot chocolate over your index finger. Jeonghan was the only one who didn’t know about Seungcheol’s affair. It wasn’t like many people knew just your parents, Joshua and Soonyoung since you were staying over at his place for the time being. But Jeonghan didn’t know and you didn’t want him to know. He wasn’t the biggest fan of your ex fiance and he had warned you numerous times, but you didn’t listen.
After everything you had gone through an I told you so from your best friend would be the unpleasant cherry on top.
“Stop changing the subject. He’s been calling you non stop for hours and you’ve ignored him. I don’t really care about what happened because I’m sure it’s nothing, but your ringtone is driving me crazy.” He joked dramatically, picking up his own cup of vending machine hot chocolate and brought it up to his lips. 
You placed your palm on top of your cup, trapping in the steam. The heat danced around your cold palm warming you up before you officially turned to face your nosey partner in the crime. “I left him.” You breathed out. Jeonghan’s eyes grew wide as saucers as he uncrossed his arms and slowly rolled himself and his chair around his desk and towards yours. “He had been seeing someone else for months and I caught them the day we came back from New York.” 
“I knew I should’ve taken you home that night.” He grumbled placing both his hands on either side of your chair turning you to face him. Your panicked expression met his angry eyea causing chills to run up your spine. “He had been acting like an asshole lately and I knew something was wrong. I just told myself not to get involved because I knew it would piss you off, but now I wish I did.” He took your hands in his and placed them on top of your lap. You could feel him shaking and it reminded you of the day Bomi’s mother had left the two of them. The anger he was feeling now you had felt it then too. 
“Jeonghan it’s okay, it’s my fault I should’ve listened to you when you said he wasn’t a good person then and I should’ve said something the minute I suspected something was wrong. I was just too delusional living in my own world and planning my wedding that I was afraid of being right.” 
He gripped your hands tightly nd shook his head. “Don’t ever say that, it’s not your fault, he hurt you. He choose to fuck someone else not once but for months right?” You nodded biting your bottom lip hard enough to almost draw blood as an attempt to keep yourself from spilling tears. You had cried enough nights over Seungcheol. He didn’t deserve your tears nor your heartbreak. 
“He thought I was cheating on him with you.” 
Jeonghan chuckled, shaking his head before letting out a deep disappointing sigh. “Where are you staying, not with him right?” He laced your fingers with his and placed your hands on his lap. 
“With Soonyoung he lives the closest to my old place so I just ran to him.” 
“Soonyoung knew before me?” 
“And Joshua and my parents.” 
Jeonghan looked up towards the ceiling taking a deep breath. “How are your parents?”
“Dad wants to kill him, mom has been trying to calm him down the last few days before I move in with them for the time being.” 
“I knew I liked your dad for a reason. Might have to call him tomorrow so we can plan our crime.” Jeonghan smirked, trapping you and your chair between his legs. The last time the two of you had been this close was when he had cried in your arms on yours and Seungcheol’s couch, after he came home to find Bomi alone in her room with divorce papers on her dresser and all of his ex wife’s belongings gone. It had made your heart race then but you had blamed it on your anger. Now as you stared into his warm eyes with your heart against the base of your throat you thought that maybe you had been wrong then.
“And mom and I will hold the two of you back, if not we won’t be visiting you guys in jail.” 
“I won’t go to jail. I’m a hot shot lawyer, haven’t lost a case yet I think I can represent myself and your dad and win.” He winked. He had started to lean in closer. The sensation of thumbs running soothingly across the palm of your hands didn’t help your beating heart. 
“Maybe this is the case that will finally bring you back down to Earth.” You shoved him lightly as an effort to make space between the two of you. Your efforts were deemed as unsuccessful as he didn’t budge. 
You and Jeonghan silently stared at each other and you hoped he couldn’t hear the hitches in your breathing. Slowly, he leaned in and before you could process what was happening his lips were on yours catching you by surprise. He moved them slowly, warming you up until you finally caved in and kissed him back. He smiled letting go of your hands and placed them on top of your knees, trailing them up your thighs until they found purchase against your hips and brought you close. He stopped kissing you for a second, giving you the choice to stop but when you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him close, kissing him feverishly, he responded with the same amount of heat you were giving him. 
Year’s ago at an old musty bar in New York, Jeonghan had confessed that he had once harbored deep feelings for you. It was also the day you found out he was engaged to Bomi’s mom and the day you choose to push your feelings for him aside and move on. Tonight, those dormant feelings returned, along with the fire that accompanied them. You were desperate and needy to act up on them and now that you could, you didn’t want to stop. The feeling of his long crooked fingers traveling up thighs and pushing the fabric of your cream colored sweater dress up with them, made you want him more.
“W-Why...did you wear tights today?” He groaned and whispered against your lips making you giggle. He rested his hands against your butt, giving it an experimental squeeze before guiding you onto his lap. 
“It’s winter, I don’t want to die of frostbite.”  You smiled down at him before pecking his lips repeatedly. Your body had gone untouched for months but it felt like it was burning brightly underneath the light of the moonlight.
“I can just keep you warm.” He winked one of his hands traveling to the front of your body. His finger teasingly playing with the hem of your black sheer tights, itching to make you feel loved and beautiful just like you deserved. 
You shook your head at his innuendo before leaning down to kiss him again. Just when your lips were about to connect with his, Seungcheol’s ringtone started ringing. Jeonghan groaned in annoyance. “I told you your ringtone was annoying me.” The arm balacinging you on his lap pulled you closer. He attached his lips on to your neck again, biting down on your earlobe, a tiny almost inaudible moan escaped your lips. He let go of the hem of your leggings, the band slightly ricochetting of your skin making you suck in a breath. He retreated his lips and smirked before leaning over your body and grabbing your ringing phone, Seungcheol’s contact name blinking on the screen of your home page.
“Answer him angel.” He said handing you your phone before pecking your lips lightly. 
“W-What.” You took your phone in your hands and stared down at Seungcheol’s smiling face. 
“You said he thought we were seeing each other behind his back. Why don’t we prove his theory sweetheart.” Jeonghan took your phone and pressed the answer button an evil glint glimmering behind his eyes, “this way I don’t have to commit murder.” 
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“B-Baby I’m sorry for what I did and for what I said this morning p-please come home.” Seungcheol’s desperate voice came in through the speaker of your phone. Jeonghan sat back smugly holding on to you tightly as he urged you to speak. 
You swallowed thickly before opening your mouth, his mouth coming into contact with your cheek while he slowly raised your dress. “I-I’m not coming back Seungcheol, you fucked up.” Your arm around his neck loosened up. He brought your dress over head and threw it off to the side.
“I-I know, I-I know but I love you so much. I promise it won’t happen again just please come h-home.” Seungcheol’s voice breaks at the end making Jeonghan roll his eyes. There was not a doubt in your mind that Seungcheol was being as honest as he could be but he had broken your trust. He had chosen to sleep with someone in your shared home on your shared bed instead of sharing his falsely created suspicions with you.
“Cheol, I’m sorry,” Jeonghan’s hand trailed up your bare back and unhooked your bra. A small inaudible gasp left your mouth at the feeling of your freed your breasts, his mouth watering as his need to please grew. “I-I don’t trust you anymore.” He wrapped his lips around your nipple, swirling his tongue around it slowly. Your phone fell from your hand and onto your laps. You arched your back, pulling his head closer, your fingers hastily finding the top button of his dress shirt. Seungcheol was long forgotten as you quickly unbuttoned Jeonghan’s shirt and pushed it off his shoulders. The smoothness of his heated skin, underneath your palms made you desperate to feel more of him against you. 
“I’ll do anything I just need you to come back, you’re my everything.” Seungcheol all but begged as Jeonghan released your nipple and grabbed your phone from where it had fallen. He placed it on our desk before standing up and sitting you on top of it. He leaned down running his tongue over the shell of your ear, giving your temple a slight kiss, “keep talking to him angel, let him know I’m here that he lost the best thing he could ever have.” He whispered before leaving kisses down your body and pushing your legs open. 
Seungcheol was rambling but you were so focused and in tune with how soft Jeonghan’s lips and hands felt against your body that you had forgotten about him.
Jeonghan kneeled down in front of you, sending you a wink before grabbing the crotch of your tights and ripping it apart, “Jeonghan what the fuck?” You yelled and lightly flicked his forehead making him laugh.
Seungcheol stopped his incoherent rambling “Jeonghan is there?” The venom laced in his voice was prominent which only made Jeonghan laugh making his presence obvious and known. They were friends once, had gone to school and law school together. Had even talked about opening up their own law firm together after graduation. But Seungcheol had betrayed Jeonghan in ways you didn’t know as neither of them liked to talk about it. They had only tolerated each other because of back when Seungcheol was still your fiance and Jeonghan was only your coworker. Obviously that line had been crossed tonight the second you opened your mouth and Jeonghan’s hands found yours. 
“Umm, I mean Joshua left us a lot of paperwork so we--” 
“I’m going to make love to her and treat her the way she deserves to be treated.” Jeonghan spoke, cutting you off. He stood up, his hands planted in between your legs. He sent you a knowing look before moving your panties to the side. His index finger moved up your slit, a sound of approval left his mouth when he felt how wet you were. “She’s so wet, I bet if I wanted I could just slip right in and she’d be so tight around me.” 
“Jeonghan, mmh...stop.” You parted your legs further, going against your own words. There was just something about having Seungcheol on the other side of the line as someone else had their hands all over your body that turned you on even more. Maybe it was some sick form of revenge, but you were ready to succumb to Jeonghan completely if he continued to touch in the way you had been craving for months now. The vibrator he had jokingly gotten for you as your secret santa gift three years ago, had not been enough. You needed more. 
“I don’t think you want me to angel,” he inserted his finger inside of you. A choked moan left your parted lips as you arched your back. “It’s a shame you fucked up Seungcheol, I bet she looks so pretty when she cums.” 
“I was right. I knew you were cheating on me with Jeonghan. You’re a fucking li-” 
“Actually this is the first time we’ve ever stepped over our boundaries. She was telling you the truth...you’re just an idiot.” Jeonghan moved his finger inside of you slowly. He felt around your velvet walls teasingly before inserting a second finger, stretching you out a little further. Opening you up for him. “Isn’t that right angel?” He raised an eyebrow before picking up the pace of his fingers. You gripped his arms, digging your nails into his skin as you felt the slight pleasurable pain course throughout your body. 
“Y-Yes, mmh...fuck Jeonghan, yes.” You bucked your hips against the palm of his hand. Your clit lightly brushes up against ot making your body jolt, as his pace and your pleasure increased.
“I-Is this why you r-refuse to fight for us, because you want to be a slut and fuck Jeonghan without feeling guilty.” Seungcheol scoffed and Jeonghan rolled his eyes. The coil in the pit of your stomach tightened up and you found yourself getting lost in the delicious pleasure Jeonghan was giving you rather than Seungcheol’s words. The moment you walked out on him he stopped mattering and you couldn’t be happier. Especially if the outcome was with Jeonghan and Bomi. 
“Are you close baby? Are you going to cum for me so Seungcheol hears how good I make you feel? Jeonghan rolled his palm against your hardened nipple, his thumb circle around your clit adding to the pleasure his fingers were giving you.
“Fuck, y-yes...I’m going to come for you Jeonghan.” Your fingers threatened to break the surface of his skin and with one final thrust of his fingers you gonat came around then moaning out his name. He helped you ride out your orgasm mumbling praises against the crown of your head. Before taking out his glistening fingers making you whine. He raised fhem up to his lips and wrapped his tongue around them sensually, sucking them clean. 
You were panting, your chest heaving against his as you tried to catch your breath again. “Choi Seungcheol are you still there?” Jeonghan asked, making you roll your eyes, you buried your head in his chest, running your down the smoothness of your back. “She looks like a fucked out work of art right now and I’m not even done with her yet.”
“Whatever, I hope you enjoy my sloppy seconds, she’s incapable of being loved anyway.” Seungcheol’s words tugged at your heartstrings and you could feel the anger radiating from Jeonghan's heated body. 
“Fuck you Seungcheol.” 
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Jeonghan carefully laid you down on the couch of your shared office, peppering kisses down your body. After Seungcheol hung up, an overwhelming and heavy silence surrounded the two of you.
“Do you regret it?” He buried his head into your neck. His hands that had devilishly devoured your body five minutes ago, hoovered over your lower back. His voice small, trapped in the back of his throat as he melted in your arms. 
“Leaving him?” You questioned and moved your fingers down the smoothness of his back. “I don’t, I don’t regret leaving him.”  
“No that,” He raised his head. His gaze burning intensely in yours, “me touching you do you...do you regret it?” Jeonghan finally touched you again, his cold touch sent shivers up your spine. He smiled tugging a strand of hair behind your ear, his thumb running over your earlobe gently before resting them against your cheek.
“No, I don’t regret it whatsoever.” 
“Good because I don’t want to stop touching you.” He closed the tiny gap between the two of you and kissed you gently. He ran his hands down the side of your body before hooking his thumbs underneath your torn tights. You giggled against his lips remembering how he had impatiently torn them. He leaned back against heels and helped you remove them before tossing them elsewhere. You leaned up against your elbows, watching as he lustfully moved his hands up your legs slowly. 
“I meant what I said, I’m going to treat you like the angel you are.” He whispered and took off your black laced panties throwing them behind him. He held your legs open before kneeling in between them “You’re beautiful.” He whispered leaving kisses up your thighs, stopping in front of your pussy. “I’m going to devour you.” He mumbled before running his tongue up your slit. You moaned arching your back, your nipples getting harder against the cool air of your office. 
“Jeonghan, w-wait.” You mumbled getting lost in the way his tongue moved against you, “no one’s ever done this before.” You confessed, threading your fingers with his dark locks pulling him closer. 
He looked up at you, wrapping his arms around your thigh and brought you closer to his mouth. He moaned, wrapping his lips around your clit, sucking harshly. His gaze found yours, the way you were looking at him, overcome by pleasure, made his heart sore.
He sucked, humming when your hips started bucking against his mouth indicating that your orgasm was nearing. If he could he would’ve stayed in between your legs for hours, especially after finding out that no one had ever given in to you the way he currently was, but his cock was straining against his slacks begging to be inside of you, so, he pulled away. A frustrated sigh running past your lips. 
“Why’d you stop?” You questioned sitting up on your elbows before teasingly running your palm down his chest. Your eyes caught sight of his bulge making your pussy clench over nothing. “Do you want to stop?” You sat up and played with his belt buckle, slowly unlooping it as you waited for his answer.
“I’d be crazy if I did.” He watched as you popped open the button of his slacks. Without a warning your hand found its way inside his boxers and wrapped around his length. Jeonghan’s body grew frigid as your hand slowly moved against him, his breath caught itself at the back of his throat, his body growing hot with pleasure. “Angel, I want to...fuck, I want to play a little longer but I need to be inside of you.” 
“Do you have a condom?” You kissed his neck, sucking hard enough to leave your mark, smirking against his skin knowing how the office will react tomorrow morning. The many questions he would be bombarded with.
“Fuck, I don’t angel. We can stop here, it's okay,” he threw his head back as your lips moved down his chest and your warm hand moved against him. 
“No. I trust you. I don’t want to stop.” You wrapped your lips around his nipple causing him to moan.Your hand stopped moving against him and tugged on his pants, signaling for him to take them off. 
“Are you sure?” He stood up, kicking his dress shoes off before pushing his slacks and boxers down, leaving him naked in all his glory in front of you. He looked beautiful, the milky white light of the moon filtering through your giant window made him look like had been sculpted by the heaven’s. His cock sat against his stomach, the precum slowly leaking out and your mouth watered, but just like him you needed to finally feel him stretch you out. So you pushed the thought to the side and laid down opening your legs further, inviting him. 
“Jeonghan, make love to me please. Make me scream out your name and forget about any other asshole that has used me in the past. I want to be yours only.” You said moved your hands up your body slowly before they found your breasts. You pinched your nipples gently moaning out his name in the process. 
Jeonghan had never seen or heard anything as beautiful as to what he was witnessing right now. He hoped that this wouldn’t be a one time thing, that he could finally love you the way he had been itching to do so. Otherwise working alongside you would be a lot more awkward now that the two of you had crossed into dangerous territory. So, he kneeled in front of you again, leaning his naked body against yours, feeling your hard nipples rub against his naked chest as he leaned down and kissed you slowly. The passion spewing out of your connected lips. This was better than what he had ever imagined. 
“You’re beautiful, I’m going to make you mine tonight and forever.” He mumbled before pulling away and snaking a hand down your connected bodies. He wrapped his fingers around his cock, spreading the precum around his angry head before looking at you. Slowly, he ran his head up your slit and stopped searching your face.
“God, you take forever. Just fuck me, Jeonghan please.” You smiled nodding your head pushing his hair away from his forehead. 
“I’m just trying to take everything in, I’ve pictured this moment many times over the years and I need to make sure it's real.” He winked and slowly pushed himself in. Your mouth fell agape, his moans sounded beautiful as he kept pushing inside of you before bottoming out. “T-Tell me when I can move.” He leaned down capturing your lips in another slow and sensual kiss. His kisses were otherworldly and addicting.
“F-Fuck Jeonghan move please.” Your hands fell down his back as you pushed him closer. The pain of him stretching you out hadn’t subsided entirely but you were desperate with need. 
“As you wish my angel.” He pecked your lips one last time before kissing your check and burying his face in the crock of your neck. His body was overwhelmed as he slowly started moving his hips against yours. The way he had fit so snuggly inside of you was driving him crazy and he hoped he would last a lot longer than what his body was telling him. Though with the way you had started to deliciously clench around him, he was positive you were riding the same boat as him. There would be other opportunities where he could shower you with ten times more love and take it as slow as he wanted. But right now was not the time, years of pent up sexual frustration between the two of you was oozing out of your pores and threatening to spill. 
“I-I don’t want to cum yet but I don’t think I can hold off anymore.” You whispered, moving your hand down his back and further pushing his hips into yours. His thrusts had started out slow, but the more he lost himself in your body the sloppier they got. Your pants and moans bounced off the four walls of your shared office, thankfully no one was around to hear how desperate the two of you were for each other. 
“Me too.” He grunted and raised his body. He gripped your waist tightly and started thrusting even harder into you. “W-Where do you want me to cum?” He threw his head back getting lost in sensation of your pussy clenching around him. Your second orgasm threatened to spill over the harder he fucked you into the leather sofa. 
“I-Inside me. I want you to fill be up...mmmh, f-fuck please.” You arched your back digging your nails into his hips as your orgasm broke. Your body convulsed, hips cantaning up as he continued to piston his cock into you. Your name breathly spilling out of his lips as his own orgasm overtook his body. His warm milky seed covering your walls, making you moan out his name like an incantation. 
The two of you rode out your orgasms. The fear of being separated seeping into your pores as he finally let his body go slump over yours. His face contorting in pleasure while your pussy continued to milk out of everything he provided you. Your chests raised slowly against each other, while reality finally seeped in. You had just fucked the man of your dreams in your office and silently you wondered why you had wasted your time hating him for years. While he silently loved you from afar, until you were too late.
“So much for finishing our paperwork.” Jeonghan broke the silence making you laugh. His head was against your sweaty chest, his thumb painting invisible pictures against your hips. 
“You’ve just given me the best orgasm, possibly ever, and all you can think about is paperwork.” You joked, wrapping your leg around his waist. His cock twitching inside of you. 
“I’m thinking about other things. I just wanted to state the obvious before I have you screaming my name again.” 
“Mhm, I see.” You kissed his forehead and ran your index finger over his tired face. You knew he hadn’t been sleeping for days and as much as you wanted him to stay buried inside of you until morning. Another reality check crushed your fantasies. He needed to take him and his daughter, who was soundly sleeping in the office down the hall, home. “I’d love to Jeonghan, bu-”
“Do you regret it, p-please tell me you don’t” His pleading eyes found yours and you could’ve sworn your heart had flipped over how cute he looked right now. 
“Let me finish talking first before you start jumping in to conclusions.” You kissed his forehead lightly, your index finger stopped moving against his face and you wrapped your arm around his neck pulling him closer then what he had already been. “I don’t regret anything but you need to take Bomi home and you need to sleep.” 
“Then come home with me. I promise all we will do is sleep, but I want to wake up next to you and I want to make for lost time. Plus Bomi would be so excited when she wakes up and finds out you’re taking her to school with me.” He beamed and you felt the tears start to well up in the corner of your eyes. Jeonghan’s daughter was quite possibly the sweetest little thing in the entire world and each time you remembered what her mother had done to her and the man who was basking in the afterglow of your desperate love making. You would be hit with an overwhelming sense of anger. 
“Jeonghan I want too, but we can’t be moving too fast. I want to be with you but I also need time to recover from what Seungcheol did to me, especially if Bomi is involved. I want to be there for you and her, but I can’t, knowing I’m not strong enough yet.” You sighed, blinking rapidly to keep the tears at baby. When they had started to fall Jeonghan leaned in and kissed every single one of them away. 
“Okay, the ball is in your court angel, I’ll go at your pace.” He grinned, you could tell he was slightly disappointed but the fact that he had given you the upper hand made your heart swell up with love. 
“Thank you Jeonghan.” 
“It’s no problem, Seungcheol was wrong, you’re more than capable of being loved and I will spend every waking moment from here on out proving to you how wrong he had been and if I have to wait for you to get over what that asshole did to you. Then I will. Even if it means waiting another lifetime for you angel. I would wait for that one and the next one until you’re ready to let me love you the way you should be loved.”
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You Don’t Own Me (You Don’t Even Know Me)
Chapter 5
Summary:  As the son of a Baron, Roman Sanders always knew that when he married, it would be due to a political arrangement rather than true love. Still, when he is sent away to marry an older, more powerful Earl, he is determined to make the best of his situation. Despite the Earl’s indifference towards him, Roman forges ahead and prepares to become the best husband he can possibly be, making new friends along the way. But when his fiancé’s demeanor turns from cold to cruel, Roman must shift all of his focus to survival, and find a way out of his marriage before it’s too late.
Ships: Logince (Logan x Roman)  Moxiety (Virgil x Patton)
Content Warnings: arranged marriage, abuse, attempted sexual assault, murder, poisoning, character death, hurt/comfort, angst
Chapter Warnings: mentions of physical and emotional abuse, murder planning
Word Count: 2490
Read on AO3: here!
Cowritten with @ironwoman359 masterlist
False masterlist
Roman was not used to feeling small.
He was used to standing out, being loud, and carrying his shoulders with a confidence worthy of the title he held and the company he was expected to keep. Wherever he went, he knew he could always hold his head high.
Staring at his reflection now, he had to fight the urge to duck his head. His face was, quite simply, a mess. The cut from Lord Howard’s ring was small enough that Roman didn’t feel the need to bandage it, but the wound was slightly swollen, and his cheek was a truly shocking shade of purple.
Swallowing, Roman picked up a small compact that had been left on his vanity. He wasn’t in the habit of applying makeup, but when the supplies for doing so had appeared in his room overnight, the message he was being sent was quite clear. He wasn’t even sure whether he was sickened or relieved by the act, at this point. In some ways, it felt like another mark of ownership; the earl wanted him as perfect and pristine as ever, no matter what happened. But on the other hand, Roman wasn’t sure if he could stand to walk about the estate with the mark on full display like a brand.
Roman winced as he gingerly applied the powder to his face. It didn’t completely erase the injury’s appearance, but if he added some blush to the other cheek and styled his hair so it hung lower than usual, obscuring the bruise from the side...it was almost enough.
It would have to do for now.
Taking a deep breath, Roman exited his room and quickly made his way through the halls. He’d told Patton that he didn’t feel well this morning (which was not entirely untrue), and so he wasn’t expecting anyone to wonder where he was. After a few turns, he found himself standing before a door that he had never actually gone through before: the door to Logan’s office.
The office’s large door glistened with fresh wood polish and gave a pleasant, welcoming smell, though the scent actually only succeeded in making Roman’s nerves worse. He knew Logan would be on the other side, working on managing this set of numbers or that pile of letters even this early in the morning. Lightly touching the bruise across his cheek he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It had to be Logan- no one else. He trusted Patton with everything he had, but there was no telling how the loyal attendant would react. He knew Patton cared about him, but as kind and caring as he was, he was hardly a good actor. And Virgil was far from a snitch, but he was so wary of any sign of trouble that Roman didn’t want to burden him with this...at least not yet.
He had to be sure...he had to know he had even half a chance before letting the others in, and to have that chance, he needed Logan.
If Roman listened closely, he could hear him on the other side of the door, muttering softly to himself as he ran through whatever calculations he was scratching out with his favorite pen. Paper rustled every now and then and Roman could tell by the coolness of the hardwood floor just in front of the door that the window must be open. He stood a moment more, letting his mind’s eye follow the thought, picturing Logan’s long hair blowing softly across his shoulders as he sat hunched over his desk, glasses sitting just so on the bridge of his nose that Roman could probably reach forward and straighten them if he was quick enough.
Shaking the thought out of his head, he took a breath and knocked quickly, then without waiting for an answer, pushed the door open before he could lose his nerve.
Logan glanced up from his work, frowning slightly as Roman entered. His eyes widened when he saw Roman, and he stood so quickly that his chair screeched across the floor. Wincing at the sound, he smiled apologetically and gestured for Roman to take the seat in front of him.
“Roman, to what do I owe the pleasure this late in the evening?”
“I-” Roman’s throat ran dry, and his thoughts along with it. Logan was looking at him, worry etched across his brow and work forgotten, and Roman swallowed. “I need your help.”
“Certainly,” Logan said immediately. “How can I assist you?”
Sitting across from Logan now, Roman almost changed his mind. It seemed absurd to think that Logan would agree to what he had in mind...what if he had misjudged him? What if he had misinterpreted the withering looks Logan shot the earl when he thought no one was looking, what if he had placed too much faith in their budding friendship, and if Roman so much as breathed a word of his plan, Logan would be the first to warn Lord Howard?
“Roman? Are you alright?”
Logan’s voice pulled him from his thoughts, and Roman looked up. Logan was sitting patiently, nothing but concern and quiet understanding marking his features, and Roman suddenly didn’t know why he should be worried at all. He could trust this man- he was sure of it.
“I need your help taking control away from Lord Howard.”
Logan binked once, then twice, fiddling with a pen that lay in front of his hands before setting it down firmly and leaning forward. No sound came from his mouth when he opened it at first, snapping it shut to blink a third time, slow and deliberate while he gathered his thoughts. “I’m sorry?”
“I- I need your help, please Logan.” Roman leaned forward as the other man straightened back up, his attention fully caught. “The earl has his fingers in far too many pies...and I’m not even sure he remembers what all the flavors are. If last week's meeting was anything to go by he disregards anything that doesn’t directly benefit him and only him and I’m sure land isn’t the only thing he’s notoriously stubborn with. Look at the way he treats his staff, expecting them up day and night to serve him and his entertainment of the day, extending that to you and all the responsibilities he shoves to the side in his confidence that you’ll pick up the slack. I haven’t even been here for very long but I know you hardly sleep for all the work you do in his stead. He expects everyone around him to be the perfect picture of their roles to mask the fact that he cannot play his own and I cannot continue this betrothal and eventual marriage in a state of constant anxiety and silence. He isn’t...he isn’t a good man Logan.”
Pursing his lips, Logan held up a hand. “Roman, I still don’t know that I understand what you want me-”
“He isn’t a good man, Logan,” Roman interrupted. “You must see that.”
“Yes, but Roman, he- I don’t know what you’re asking of me. He has more power than he knows what to do with, true, and he certainly abuses it, but I’m not certain what you expect me to be able to do about taking it away. I manage his finances and remind him of meetings; I hardly have the reach to do anything substantial.”
“For people like him, money is his power, and you’re the one that takes care of that. How many times does he actually ask you about anything official? Does he ever want full accounts of where anything goes? You sign documents for him of all things because he believes himself too important and you’re going to sit there and say you have no weight to throw?”
“But I-”
Seeing the doubt, Roman was quick to lean forward. “What if we could control the estate? Actually control it, and make smart decisions for it and know what’s going in and out of it? Surely you of all people would jump at the opportunity to make the changes you know need to be made here.”
“Roman.” Logan fixed him with a stern look, and Roman snapped his mouth shut. “It’s a nice thought in theory. I’ve spent many nights worrying over things that truly should not be my responsibility, and have done enough research to present to the earl a myriad of solutions to his problems, should he ever decide he actually wants to listen to my counsel. But for us to be in control of the estate, the earl would have to be deceased.”
Roman stared at him blankly.
Logan’s eyes widened. “Roman that is not-”
Taking a deep breath, Roman brought up a hand to wipe at his face, the flesh colored powder smearing his sleeve to reveal the dark purple and red underneath. This time it was Logan that snapped his mouth shut, with an audible click. Horror, anger and worry flashed across his face, and Roman winced.
“It’s going to get worse. I know it and so do you. This is how it starts, especially once he has someone who officially belongs to him, and especially when that someone doesn’t just lie down and take it. I won’t. And so it will keep getting worse, and he will never be accountable until one of us finally has an accident. I am not going to let that one of us be me.”
Logan regarded him sadly, sighing as he lowered his gaze. “What you’re suggesting is extremely risky. Even if we could do something after you marry him, the fact of the matter is that this is the Howard family’s estate. And I’m sure you’ve figured out by now that the earl isn’t exactly...interested in making you an official member of the family in any capacity. If he were to pass away, the estate wouldn’t be bequeathed to you. You’d still have no control, and might honestly end up with less if his other family members decide not to tolerate your presence.”
“That’s where you come in.” Roman smirked, and Logan’s head snapped up. “I need your help to forge the will.”
--- --- ---
“Well that’s-”
“Excuse me, what?”
Roman fidgeted with his sleeve as Logan attempted to sooth Patton and Virgil long enough to allow them to explain. After getting Logan to agree to help him, Roman had immediately requested that they bring Patton and Virgil into the scheme. Roman was certain he could trust them, and Logan seemed to agree. They certainly wouldn’t be able to pull their plan off with only two of them. Getting Patton and Virgil to see the necessity in it, though...well that was the first hurdle they were trying to clear.
“It seems like a drastic measure to take, even with the lord’s uh...mood as of late.” Patton squirmed on the haystack he was curled up on, pointedly ignoring the baffled expression Virgil threw him.
“A drastic measure? You think? This is treason, Patton! We’ll be hanged!” Virgil turned to glare at the two men across from him. “We will be hanged. There has to be a better way.’
“We will have the will forged and officiated before the wedding, and then arrange it to look like his death was natural. As long as we can figure out a way to do that it’s a fairly simple process.” Logan held his hands in front of him in a pleading gesture. “Even if we can’t find a way to make it look natural, I assure you Lord Howard has enough enemies grabbing at his various businesses and properties that it’d be anyone’s guess who tried killing him off. Half of them would end up paying investigators off just to avoid any public suspicion, it is almost guaranteed that no one would expect Roman to be the culprit.”
Virgil stared at him. “You’ve thought this through. Logan, why have you thought this through?”
Patton reached over and grabbed Virgil’s hand, rubbing soothing motions against his knuckles while humming softly. Virgil’s shoulders remained tense but he leaned against the attendant's shoulder, taking a shuddering breath as he raised his eyes to the ceiling.
“I think...” Patton said slowly. “I think that maybe while we have this opportunity we should take it. Not that I take any pride in using you Roman!” He was quick to assure. “But- I’ve seen the way he gets...and how he is getting. People like that only worsen with age, and I’d rather not see any of us hurt...more.”
Roman touched his cheek self-consciously, trying to subtly cover up the spot where he had wiped the make-up off, but of course fooling no one. Patton glanced away but Virgil’s gaze only hardened, squeezing the other man’s hand and swearing under his breath.
“I guess....I guess all of us here- everyone at the estate really- would benefit from him not being in charge. It’s still incredibly risky.” Here Virgil glared daggers at Logan and Roman specifically. “But I think with the right people...the right poison maybe, it could work.”
“Do you have a suggestion?” Logan asked curiously.
“Not me, but I know people that might. What are we thinking the time table will be for this?”
Roman perked up as they all looked at him. “Well...it might be a good idea to carry it out a good while after the wedding. If it happens immediately after, it would look a lot more suspicious than if we waited.”
Logan frowned.  “But Roman-”
“Logan, you know I’m right.” Roman startled a bit at the sheer amount of concern he saw in Logan’s eyes, but gave him a small smile as reassurance. “I’ll be fine until then.”
“Well,” Both of their heads snapped around to face Virgil again, neither acknowledging the slight pink in their cheeks. “If we’re waiting that long that’s plenty of time for me to get in contact with my guys and figure something out. Really it shouldn’t be too hard.”
Patton made a small noise in the back of his throat. “Um, exactly what kind of guys, Virgil?”
Virgil laughed outright. “Oh, total degenerates for sure! But they’re also both idiots, and that didn’t change when they set up their apothecary, so I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”
“So it’s set then? We’re doing this?” Roman couldn’t help the hopeful edge to his tone, and he immediately felt a stab of guilt.
What would his friends think of him now, so eager to take such a drastic measure? But a quick glance at their faces revealed only sympathy and determination, and he forced himself to breathe. There was a reason he’d come to these three specifically, and now he had to trust that he’d made the right call.
“Yes.” Logan said, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze, and Roman felt himself relax. “We are.”
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Secrets Chapter 6
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‘We have some unfinished business,’ Steve said gently, his intense gaze wandering slowly all over you.
And you went from feeling cold to hot and bothered. You felt your face warming up because you knew you did not look prim and proper with your hair loose around your face and only a touch of tinted lip balm on your face, not to mention the worn-out jeans, oversized sweatshirt, and tattered boots.
Even though it was contrary because you wanted nothing between you and Steve to be passionate as it had once been when you had had no control over yourself, you resented his cool stare and politeness, it was the ultimate rejection of you as a wife, as a partner. You didn’t know what you expected him to do, but needless to say, you were disappointed. You looked up to observe him, and for a microscopic second, you saw his sculpted jaw clenching, his hardened gaze narrowing. Then you knew he had felt something just as you did after seeing him. The atmosphere was bubbling with tension. You felt a disturbing loss of courage and obscure your gaze, taking a step back while being startlingly aware of him. It shocked you that a man you now hated as much as you once loved could still have such a powerful effect on your body. ‘You always look so enticing,’ Steve commented with a roughened edge in his voice that made her tremble, you wanted to block, or at least tried to block the reckless attraction you still felt. ‘Do I really look that desperate to you?’ he continued. The brutal rejection may have cut you like a knife had you not seen the way his extraordinarily beautiful eyes stayed on you. You tore your attention from the face that haunted your dreams and nightmares alike and you suddenly found your nails really interesting. ‘What are you doing here?’ you demanded again. ‘I want a divorce. I need your address to mail you the papers,’ Steve spelled out. ‘Or did that not occur to you? Your vanishing performance was selfish and juvenile.’ Steve added. You wanted to throw something at him. ‘You forced me to behave like that,’ you replied angrily. ‘How?’ Steve snarled, advancing towards the counter, obviously more than ready for an argument. ‘You wouldn’t listen to a word I said. There was nothing more I could do.’ ‘I told you that we can work it out,’ Steve reminded you in a tone of maddening disdain.
‘But you never did work anything out with me, not in our relationship or our marriage. How could you…. when you wouldn’t talk to me? When I told you how unhappy, discontent and miserable I was what did you ever do to make anything better?’ you demanded as your eyes shimmering with heartache and reproach you remembered the lavish gifts Steve had given her instead of more tangible and meaningful things like his time and his attention.
Straight away, anger flared in Steve, his stunning blue eyes flaming to counter the point you made…Bell on the shop door rang. Sandy, your assistant had arrived. The tension inside the shop was palpable and tense.
Sandy’s eyes filled with confusion. ‘Am I late?’ ‘No, no,’you hastily reassured your employee. ‘I have to go back home for an hour, so you’ll be in charge.’ You notified.
Without even looking in Steve’s direction, you went out to the back to get Mattie, pulling him into your arms and hurrying back to tell in an exhausted voice to Steve, I live a down the road at number seventy-four.’
But before you could reach the door a broad-shouldered young man with cropped brown hair strolled in. ‘Fresh out of the oven!’ Peter exclaimed. Chocolate croissants for you and his highness…’
‘Oh crap, Peter, I totally forgot you were coming today!’ you suddenly remembered. You made the arrangement the last week when you had last seen Peter at May’s place.
‘Look, I have to go out for a little while, I better show you where the laptop is,.’
Securing Mattie firmly to your hip, you dived back behind the counter with Peter close behind her and pointed out the barely working laptop that kept restarting.
Peter rested love-struck eyes on your delicate profile. If you want I can come back when you’re here.’ Peter countered.
‘No, that’s fine, Peter. Today is perfect,’ you insisted, turning back to head for the door where Steve was waiting in silence, his perceptive gaze pinned to the hovering young man, who was not attempting to hide his disappointment that you were leaving. Sandy will look after you.’
You stepped out into the fresh air, aware of Steve’s presence by your side and also confused because if he had even looked at Mattie for ten seconds
‘I’ll see you at the house,’ you said flatly, setting Mattie down and holding his hand because he was too heavy for her to carry anymore. ‘I’ll give you a lift,’ Steve offered.
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knives on my body, blood on my hands
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Chapter One: The House At The End of The Street, The Cabin Buried in the Woods
THE CLOCK HAS BARELY TICKED PAST NINE O’CLOCK when the last light flickers off. Ink black shadows swell in the thin backstreets whilst gray storm clouds obscure any light coming from the shining moon.
The old town plunges into darkness and hidden within it, a little girl revels in it. Tilts her head back and let’s the beginnings of the storm wash over her, as if the rain water that begins to seep into her very being can wash away the red that has stained her soul.
(It can’t, the blood on her hands will transcend lifetimes)
A bright clash of lightning brings her out of her thoughts. She melts into the shadows and continues on her way, making her way down the street with eerie silent footsteps.
Perhaps a lesser man would have stumbled down the street, unable to walk the burrard street without tripping over himself. But the little girl moves with a silent grace in her step, weaving around the bumps and cracks even when she can barely see the boots on her feet.
The training of her handlers, years spent in the Hydra and The Red Room overcoming her. She could walk the streets - could walk a path around the world and still carry the deadly grace and efficiency that they had beaten into given her.
Besides, the little girl was just The Asset to her handlers, Hydra’s own personal Angel Smerti. She was no man, much less one of low value.
The house at the end of the street is quiet when she enters it. The screams of the lightning hide the soft whine of the window when she opens it and the creak of the wooden floorboards when she lands on them.
The Asset squints her eyes, letting them adjust to the darkness and trail over the bookshelf lined walls. She stepped towards the oak desk, lifting one of the files scattered on the surface. She let her eyes scan the pages within before setting it down, letting the words winter soldier, car crash, two victims and serum mull over in her head before filtering it away for later, a loud clatter pulling her attention to the doorway.
A poison slick dagger is already soaring through the air and embedding itself in the figure before she can fully get a good look at them. The figure - a frail, old man with thinning white hair - stumbles back from the force of the knife, dark eyes widening in fear as the Asset stalks over to him.
She gives him quick once over, letting her eyes roam over the man as his muscles begin to tense up until he can’t move at all, until he is nothing but a mere puppet that the Asset can pull all the strings of. A puppet that the Asset can cut all the strings off of.
She carefully ignores how those last thoughts bring a small sense of dread and horror that pools in her stomach. Turn her head to the voice telling her ‘what’s one more body to add to the pile?’ And the voice asking her ‘just how monstrous have you become?’
(too much, far too much for someone her age)
The man finds his voice, previously lost in a sea of gasps and whimpers, “Please.” he begs, eyes wide, a wrinkled hand pressed to the dagger buried within his stomach.
“Please don’t ki-“ the Asset cuts him off, yanking the dagger out and shoving it into his throat. It doesn’t take long for the old man to leave these mortal planes, drifting off to be judged by an otherworldly being that can distinguish a saint and a sinner and never the between. To the otherworldly being that thinks he has any right to judge the actions of a human being trying to survive.
No, Death has never discriminated between the saints and the sinners.
‘And neither shall I’ the Asset thinks, ripping her dagger from his throat to slip back into the many holsters that cover her clothing.
She lugs the old man into the study, manhandling his body into the smooth leather chair, resting his head upon the oak desk, staining the folders with his blood. She stepped back, observing her work with a critical eye. It almost looked like the poor man had fallen asleep at his desk, if you - you know - ignore the blood.
The Asset eyed the scented candles perched atop one of the bookshelves, promptly labeled Cinnamon Sugar! Warm Spring Sunshine! and Peach! The Asset raised an eyebrow, an idea coming to mind.
An idea that would end in the echoing cries of firetruck sirens throughout the quaint street, the horrified muttering of neighbors and the ashes of an old man's study.
•☽○☾•
IT’S DAWN by the time the Asset makes her way back to where her handler—a sleazy, middle aged man that she hadn’t taken the time to remember his name—is currently based.
The sky is a disarray of colors, the sun spilling a cup of bright yellows and exotic oranges over the previously dark canvas. The Asset finds herself staring up at it, and feels a deep longing begin to stir. For the sky ran everywhere. It ran through the deepest of forests and the driest of deserts and over the endless waves of the ocean. The sky ran everywhere, demanding to be seen and heard and free and the Asset found herself envying it.
Truth be told, there used to be a fire in the Assets soul, before she was called Asset and went by the name that had been sewn into a velvet blanket by a woman that may have cared. It would burn through her veins, close to her heart and on days when her trainers would be harder on her than the rest for her heritage or when one of the girls - a pretty blond who went by Rowena - would make a cruel remark about the shape of her eyes, she’d let the fire consume her, let it burn through her and come out of her mouth, searing into them, until Rowena wept ugly tears into her hands and the trainers unleashed a flurry of punches and kicks before demanding an apology. The Asset can’t remember if the girl with her name sewn into a blanket had ever apologized, had never wanted to dwell too much on those memories.
(she hadn’t, the girl took all the pain and torture with her head held high. she refused to apologize for the fire in her soul. )
The Asset shook those thoughts away as the cabin her handler—Ivan Vanko—had holed himself up in came into sight. Just the sight of it, and the thought of facing Ivan had her straightening her posture, wiping any sign of weariness and schooling her face until there were no cracks in her porcelain mask, nothing for Ivan to dig into to expose all her thoughts.
There’s no noise when she enters, the door shutting silently behind her. She tenses, tilting her head to the side before pulling out one of her knives. Moving down the hall, she keeps her senses sharp, With no idea who she’s up against, she waits, muscles wound tight and her mouth a hard line, eyes darting around the slim hallway walls. She doesn’t have to wait long.
A hand thrusts out of the first doorway to her right, a strong pull has her flying through the air and losing the grip on her knife. Pain erupted in her shoulder but she didn't give it the time of day. Instead she rolls to her feet, springing up and throwing every ounce of her strength into the flying kick that sends her assailant slamming into the wall with a yell of pain.
The Asset lets herself breathe, if only for a second. Her eyes assess her assailant — a well dressed man with balding hair — cataloging every weakness she can find, from the way he favors his right side to the fading bruise on his right temple, while he lay recovering.
This time, when he lunged for her, she is ready.
She side steps his attack, digging her knee into his injured side, and sends a sharp elbow into his already bruised face. A loud crack echoes in the room, and when he stumbles back, a scream of pain that can only come from deep within himself, a small twisted part of her is pleased to see his nose is far from the correct position.
Adrenaline thumps through herself, a synchronized sympathy that plays in tempo with her heart. When both he and his little friend that had been waiting, watching in the shadows of the room lunge at her, she already knows who the victor of this battle will be.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is where their dance begins. Or rather, her dance begins.
She dodges his friend's attack, turning and arching her leg in the air, slamming it into assailant number two — a short woman who was barely taller than The Asset — side. It leaves her stumbling back, groaning as she falls like a corpse into the glass table in the center of the room.
The Asset grunts as strong arms encircle her, lifting her up, up, up. She grunts, moving her arm up and once again digging her elbow in his face. It connects with his eye this time, the action leaving him stumbling back, clutching his hand to his eye. The Asset doesn’t give him time to recover, doesn’t have enough sympathy, enough empathy, enough mercy in the body that has been crafted with the fists and guns and needles of the men and women who have used her, trained her, killed her.
It’s why the dagger slips so easily out of its concealed holster and into the man's chest. A cry of agony is silenced with the arc of her leg, her foot connecting with his Adam's apple. He toppled over, hands held to his chest as if he can relieve the pain that she has brought to his body.
She stared him down, the soft creak of wood under her foot echoed like screams around the room. She plants one foot on his chest, pressing down as she pulls the dagger from his chest, baring her teeth behind her ninja-esque mask as he screams.
She leaves the man there, bleeding, beaten, broken and goes to find her handler.
AN: I don’t know what this is, but it’s dumb. I’m also dumb tho and I’m thinking of adding on.
Special thanks to @unmaskedagain , @nightlychaotic and @nobodyfamousposts for introducing me to maribat. I love all of your maribat posts.
Tag list: @avengerthewarrior , @nightlychaotic
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