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feelbokkie · 1 year

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I'm literally writing this from a bus (this ride is gonna be 1.5 hours long 😔) and I've been having such a long struggle and realized it's legit only been 2 days since we were having our languages convo. I'm feeling a type of way since the field trip I've been planning for months was only like 60% successful today since the weather was finicky so a third of my students never got to do activities they paid for 🥲

But I saw you posted so much!: a smau, two chapters of Love Risk, and my Changbin angst request 💕 Everything's written so well and it's helping heal me (along with the 5 Star album that I only got to listen to on the bus ride this morning because I was so exhausted last night I fell asleep literally 15 minutes before it released 😭)

I have such hopes for Love Risk Changbin since Y/n is now the one initiating spending time with him, but who knows what'll happen at Hyunjin's birthday party??? My favorite part so far (outside the romancing and drama) though is the running joke of people going over to the other apartment to beat someone up lmao. There's no way that might come back in a more serious way later on... 👀

For my angst request, you hit so close to home and it's so cathartic! Cleaning up after people and making sure they're fed is like second nature to me but it's why I really am so so tired all the time. I'm glad Changbin is trying to fix things and they didn't break up at the end, so hopefully he continues to get himself together because it's not sustainable if things always have to get worse before it gets better.

Anyways, I hope you eventually got to finish listening to the whole album and that you're having a good day and not dying like me 😵 I gotta survive another 3 weeks of school but it'll be the most stressful 3 weeks yet so I might disappear sometimes but just know I'm still reading and enjoying everything you post 😘

-👻✌️

Has it really only been 2 days? Everything is blurring together, lol. I'm sorry that the weather hasn't been good and that not all of your student could enjoy what they wanted to do during their field trip.

I did post all that, and then I also went and reorganized a bit (still have a bunch more to do) so that way my post have more of a uniform look! On top of working on other request. And at least you were rested for the field trip!

Next chapter is going to be Hyun heavy. The way I have it planned, Y/N gets one chapter that's centered with either guy. But there is also time in between time where she hangs out with them. So much has happened in the story and it's been like 3 weeks timeline wise but I might have to fix the timeline a bit after chapter 8 bc I realized I didn't space some stuff out well. But also remember, Hyun and Y/N have know each other since their 1st year of university and have been living together since their 2nd so... 👀 The dancers dorm being violent and going over to the music major's dorm to attack one of them is an accidental bit I didn't realize I wrote in until Chapter 6, lol but it's my favorite part. Poor Innie just wants to live in peace!

It's scary how well I can read people, maybe I'm a witch 🤔🧙🏾‍♀️. I'm glad I was able to give you what you wanted with your request. I literally have been staring at it, and the other request sitting in my asks, trying to figure out how I was going to write it out. And then boom, idk what happened. Maybe a psychic link or something. Also you said that you would leave it up to me for the ending so I went with semi fluff but I kinda like looking at it as an open ending. In my head there is one version of events where Changbin does work to fix it, but then later falls back into old habits and that's it. Another version, Y/N takes the time for herself and gets scared that Changbin might not change and then breaks it off. But I'll leave interpretation up to you!

I've literally listened to nothing by the album since I got home from the store this morning. Even at the store I was listening to it. I'm currently on my 14th run of it 😭 I literally refused to go to bed last night (this morning) until I listened to it once all the way through. But my day has been good. I'm still waiting for my two pre-orders but I went to Target this morning when they opened to go buy the Target versions but when I go there the section was empty 😭. I'm not confrontational and talking to strangers ask for help is my weakness so I was set on going home empty handed but luckily my step dad was there and he asked one of the workers and she went to the back to get me the album. She said that people were lining up for the album so she stashed some, god bless her honestly. So my days been great, I organized my skz collection bc my shelf was looking like a bomb hit it, finished your request, worked on hyung line what are we, moved onto LR bc I hurt my own feelings with what are we, and now I'm taking a small break before I get back to work. And then I'm planning to edit my thesis today and get it ready to be submitted/published.

I hope your day is looking up. And I know three weeks is a long time but I hope they fly by!

#feelbokkie answers #👻✌️ anon #LR press tour

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logicallyphan · 1 year

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I need to ask you guys something and I need to know if I’m being dramatic or not. Sorry advance for the super long post RE my job life atm! Also please do not reply to the post. Just anon or message pls!!

I’ve been at my job for four and a half years now and its taking a toll on me,mentally. My boss is telling me that while im doing good, im not doing enough, leadership wise. the younger staff I work with don’t listen to me, let alone him. I work at a store that is mainly for 15-25 year olds so our younger staff is made up of that age group… which I do fall into but more towards the latter end.

There is little to no respect in that place. I have tried everything to get them to listen to me as I’m a shift lead and they just don’t care and im stuck doing their job PLUS my own. And on top of that it’s a consignment like shop, meaning for 4 and a half years I’ve had to decide if something is good enough for us to sell and if it’s not I basically have to tell them it’s not good enough. It’s awful. People get so upset over things that I have little to no control over.

But back to my point. My boss has been picking on me for the littlest of things lately. Him misreading my handwriting when my math was 100% accurate and he’s read it for years at this point. Him telling me I need to tell the girls to do more when I can only put out so much stock or clean so much before the job is done. Like all this little stuff that I can’t control.

And with the younger staff not listening to me, I’ve had to lie to them and told them the boss made a check list to follow when actuality I made it because they don’t want to listen. I ask them to do stuff and half the time they won’t do it! So guess who ends up doing it… me. And then my boss tells me to stop doing everyone’s job bc they’re standing around but it’s like I asked them and they just ignored me.

Idk I just feel like all my complaints and respect is ignored. And if I’m honest with you guys… this is the worst my mental health has been in a long ass time. I know for a fact it’s bc of this damn job. I fought to get this job for years and now that I’ve had for 4 and half years? I fucking hate it now.

I mean yeah sure it gave me great work experiences and I’ve made some friends and paid me great (doesn’t anymore lmao my vacation was paid for last year but not this year for no reason), it’s not worth it anymore. I feel like it went from the best job to the worst.

I should’ve left last year but I quit my second job after two weeks of working there bc I fucking hated it even more bc it was just fixing shoe displays for FOUR HOURS A DAY!???? I thought it would be more but nope. Anyways, here I am legit a month a way from vacation trying to find a new job asap and pray to god they give me the time off for it.

And lmao I kinda feel bad for my boss for doing this to him but like at the same time I don’t care. The only reason I feel bad is bc all staff but legit one person will be gone by September. Other than that, I’m over his bullshit. Depending on me to open the store, five days a week for two straight years but then not give me full time hours (I’m only 30 hours a week, most full time where I am is 40 hours and I am not aloud to go past 36 per week at this job) and no options for benefits??? The fuck? It’s bullshit. I’m scared he’s not gonna let me finish up once I give my two weeks bc he’s petty like that.

I’ve given my all to something that I can’t even love anymore bc it’s worn me down to the point where I cry coming home once a week or more. Am I dramatic?? Or is it really that bad? I look back at a year ago and even then I don’t remember it being as bad as it is now. I remember just needing a second job for the money, not bc I hated my job. Something has shifted in six months to make me just hate it so much. And yes, I am aware that everyone hates their job at some point, but like, I shouldn’t come home crying after work all the time.

Pls note, it isn’t simple as reporting my boss to HR… he’s the owner and manages every aspect of our store down to accounting lol. I have nobody to report him to.

Thank you for coming to my life story. Pls like, comment and subscribe and don’t forget to click that follow button.

(I’m sorry for that… I just had to make myself giggle after writing all this)

#rant #sorry for the rant

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jocy-diaries · 2 years

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06.26.2022

Wow, do waking up early for DnD is a LOT harder when I'm on my own for some reason. This is going to be tougher than I thought... Also, I really want to drink some water but the only thing I have is the carbonated water. RIP. Didn't help that I had drank maaaybe a bit too much yesterday.

Well, that was an interesting game. Two of our characters are gone for game related reasons so we'll be getting two more new ones. I'm still not sure how I feel about this...

Last day in La Spezia! I really like this place. I hope I get to come back. But also, after so much traveling, I think it'll be nice to stay in one place for a whole month. I'm kinda tired of lugging all this stuff around lol it's too heavy.

My gosh. I went to my cart in first class and I told the girls sitting there that they were sitting in my spot (politely of course) and they told me to just sit somewhere else. Being non confrontational, I did. And now the ticket guy came to check our tickets and they had to move because that wasn't their seats 🙃 Vindication.

I'm so thirsty. It's like, I refuse to do any non essential tasks until i get some water.

I GOT WATER At first I got sparkling and nearly threw the bottle in restriction lol.

Now I'm on this train for a whole hour and it's full to the brim so I can't sit down. This sucks.

Two girls just went into the bathroom giggling together? Huh. At least they get to sit.

Finally made it to a seat!! Thank goodness. I can relax for these last thirty minutes. I swear time moves do weird in public transportation. Or maybe it's just in Europe.

The driver who was supposed to pick me up is late because he took the train? ....what?

Okay, after all of That confusion I was able to get to the apartment! We had to drive through Busy pedestrian walkways which was stressful, but apart from that things were good! It's a legit little apartment and my roommates are super nice. They're three beautiful white girls so of course I feel entirely inferior, but they're all very nice to me so I appreciate it. Apparently they were in Cinque Terre yesterday, I feel like I might have met them if I had decided to go again. Wonder if that's a good thing or a bad thing..

The first thing we did was go out for drinks lol I got a Spritz! It was a lot easier to drink than the last one. Then we went grocery shopping where I might have bought a bit too much but also not enough. I had no idea where the freaking sugar was. After lunch (a cantaloupe for me) I took a nap.

I think I'll legit have to really regulate my DnD games. I don't think I can actually keep waking up at 2am three times in a row, not when I'll have class at 9am this whole week and the internship starting soon... I think I'll keep some of the games but not others. Tempted to also cancel my Wednesday anime nights to keep me sane... I might have to, actually. Keeping Thursday's game, Saturday's game, and _maybe_ Friday's game. I feel bad though, there were really good plots for the other games that I wanted to explore. But I just can't...

I'll go shopping tomorrow. I desperately need more things in order to feel comfortable and settled here. Our internet is a little crap, I gotta admit. It doesn't reach the bedrooms. They said someone is coming tomorrow to fix it, and I really hope they do actually fix it. Also really wishing I was prettier. It would certainly help me feel more confident in things. And I don't really wanna go back to the us tbh. I don't want to return to sitting at my desk all day and driving everywhere. Oh! But guess what? It'll be a 40min commute from here to my internship place so I officially have audiobook time again~

I feel a bit weird... And I'm not sure if it's all the alcohol ove had, or if it's me taking my medication again... Or if it's the fact that I haven't eaten much. Either way, not liking it.

#dear diary #june 2022 #06.26.2022 #italy 2022 #travel #florence

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parvuls · 3 years

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right, so - physical therapist jack.

PT jack is something that just makes sense to me. it's easy to imagine a jack who not only overdosed, but took a bad fall on his way down and severely injured his knee, or maybe his ankle, or maybe his foot. it's easy to imagine a jack who spends his time in rehab not only mourning what he lost but also grieving never getting a second chance. a jack who doesn't go to college to find his way back to hockey, but goes to college to make up for what he's done by maybe preventing it from happening to others (and perhaps also living vicariously? listen, jack doesn't have the healthiest mentality right after the OD, it's very possible. but anyway, I digress.)

so fast forward by about a decade or so, bitty twists his leg during a beer league game. it's bitty, so he probably spends about a week or so wincing and trying to hobble around on one foot rather than admitting that he's in actual pain, but eventually ransom catches him limping and goes all, "dude, you should totally hit a PT office. I've got some solid recs."

now, bitty's immediate reaction is suspicion, because -- well. because ever since ransom and holster found out when he's last had sex (and lord, was that a conversation he tries his darnest to repress), they've been relentless about getting him laid. ransom has tried to hook him up with at least four doctors he knows in the last two months, and bitty sure ain't falling for that again. "justin. this better not be leading up to a punchline about how he could fix my penis, or so help me."

but ransom swears up and down that this dude is legit, that he's the best there is, that bitty will feel brand fuckin' new in no time and you're gonna thank me, you'll see. and bitty's real tired of having to knead his dough at the table because it hurts to stand by the counter for too long, so he reluctantly takes the number and makes an appointment for dr. jack zimmermann.

dr. zimmermann's office is a nice, albeit sparsely decorated place. the paintings on the wall are really nice, at least, and they don't look like they came straight from IKEA (even though there's one that looks like a vagina, and at least two that kind of look like dicks if bitty squints at them at the right angle? but - it must just be in his head. bitty doesn't know any respectable doctors who'd get costume-made paintings of genitalia.)

so he's a little nervous, but mostly resigned when he's called into the office and closes the door after him. and as he turns around from the door he thinks that at least he'll be able to go back to skating soon, and he's really missed it, so this appointment is going to be a good thing --

except then his eyes land on dr. jack zimmermann, and his brain goes: oh, and, there is no way on god's green earth that this man is actually a doctor, and then, I am going to feed ransom his stupid tie and pray he chokes on it.

because of course he should've been suspicious when ransom offered to help, considering that ransom's been looking for a chance to hook him up for months. and he certainly should've been suspicious when ransom said you'll thank me with that shoulder clap he always did when he was wingmanning for holster. and he definitely should've been suspicious at the paintings hanging on the wall outside. and now he's standing in front of the gorgeous "doctor" who's gesturing him into a chair with these big, wide hands, who is talking about going to try his best to make bitty feel good again with this focused intensity on his face that is, tragically, actually working for bitty, and, lord help him, he knew these happy ending deals existed in certain questionable massage places, he should've seen this coming. it isn't even surprising that ransom would know someone who used a PT office as a front for sex services.

but bitty's already sitting down, and dr. zimmermann is already asking him all these questions about his injury, and he simply can't bring himself to bolt out the door. he finds himself helplessly thinking that the man's eyes are really insanely pretty while dr. zimmermann wraps his big hand around bitty's ankle. his touch is gentle yet firm, but bitty can't enjoy that because he's just not that kinda gentleman, no sir.

but he's also a polite gentleman. so how do you tell someone I think you're very attractive but I really just want my ankle fixed, no orgasms involved, thank you and have a nice day now?

(jack, meanwhile, cannot figure out why the guy dr. oluransi sent to him is so jumpy. he keeps physically cringing away every time jack tries to take a look at his injury. maybe he should ask him if the guy would prefer a reference to another doctor? jack's really not the type to give up, but he's not sure what he's doing wrong here.)

#omgcp #omgcheckplease #zimbits #jack's subconscious: we should reference him to another doctor because he's got these big eyes and thick biceps and we're Professionals #unfortunately jack's subconscious and his conscious are absolutely terrible at communicating so jack has no idea he's attracted to this guy #fortunately for him bitty thinks he's a sex worker pretending to be a PT doctor so this session is definitely going places #text #jack x bitty #prompts

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clarissalance · 3 years

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A sneak peck on the corner of your lips

Pairing: Xingqiu x G/N!reader, Chongyun, mention of Xiangling and Liyue trio

Warning: a peck, hugging, reader and Xingqiu are the same age

Word count: 3943

Summary: You are going on a ghost-hunting trip with Chongyun and Xingqiu to Mingyun village.

A/N: Last time I said I’m going to write shorter fic, well, my fingers accidentally slip and tada, here it is. I feel like this Xingqiu is a little bit too shy compare to the game but I want to make him blush (or any character in general). This one takes me quite a long time to write but I hope you all enjoy it. Maybe I should write Venti next, I totally forgot his birthday until my feed was flooded with his fanart. I’m sorry Bartobas ;-; Anyhow, please shower Xingqiu with a lot of love!! He’s the reason why I can pass abyss floor 11.

Picture credit: Pinterest. ( I really don’t know the author of this picture. If you find the source, please comment so I can add. Thank you (❁´◡`❁) )

Hanging out with the Liyuen trio has always been an adventure full of thrill and excitement. Usually, there would be someone who ends up with all troubles and mischiefs the other two sets up. Chongyun is our center, holding a strike 10 times in a row, while Xiangling sometimes gets bombed by them, but it’s nothing compared to our popsicle boy. Xingqiu, you have never heard of him getting into any troubles, but he has been the famous one in the town for plotting pranks and tricks. The victim is Chongyun, and he’s somehow still very oblivious, despite many times falling into the holes.

Maybe the boy is just too naïve and trusting for his own good.

“ Xiangling is not coming today. ” Xingqiu announces, successful getting your attention and Chongyun’s. “She’s busy with the restaurant, so today, there will be only three of us.” Letting out a commital sound, you return your focus back onto the unfinished charm on your hand, fingers skillfully waving through the strings.

“ Guess we’re off to Mingyun then.” Chongyun stands up abruptly from his seat, the sound of clothes rustling together. “I got a reliable intel this time about a ghost there.”

Glance up from the unfinished charm, you shoot a questioning look to Xingqiu, to which he sends you a wink and a charming smile. The source of ‘reliable intel’ Chongyun is telling you here definitely comes from Xingqiu. Somehow, the boy has managed to stay away from the Chongyun’s suspicion list, even after those obvious unrealistic intel disguise as pranks. You wonder how has he manage to deceive the poor exorcist this time.

“Chongyun, there are only hilichurls in Mingyun village. No one is there.” You state the obvious. How can he fall for this so many times? The light blue hair boy turns at you and tilts his head in confusion, waiting for you to anticipate more details. He is really dense, isn’t he?

“ So, how did you get intel about a spirit at the place if there is no one lives there?” Letting out a huff, you fold your arm, feet tapping impatiently.

“ Someone sends me the request this morning.” He pulls out a white envelope in his pocket and hands it to you, smiling a bit enthusiastically. The envelope has no trace that indicates sender, yet the exorcist assures you it’s a reliable source. You have no idea what his standard of ‘reliable' is anymore.

Inside the envelope is an expensive-looking card, the curving and neat writing dances on the piece. Bringing the paper closer, you can faintly make out the scent of floral perfume mingles with the fresh wooden smell of crisp paper. “By the look, this looks more like a love letter than a request of exorcism to me. You’re sure it’s not from one of the maidens?” A little further away, you can hear the sound of someone choking on breath and a muffled laugh. Chongyun then mutters something about no one would send him a love letter anyway. Oh, so he doesn’t know then. Did this boy live under a rock or something?

This is too well-crafted for a mere prank. Did Xingqiu handwriting improve this much over the past month? Eyeing the blue boy suspiciously, you carefully watch his interaction with the young exorcist while reading the content.

This letter is pretty legit, but you’re still very suspicious of a certain someone over there who meticulously crafts this. If you ask, will he answer truthfully or skit around the subject again?

Putting the card back into the envelop and return them to Chongyun, you finally raise your hand in defeat. Coming with them might be a better solution, in case the exorcist condition gets out of control, you can help Xingqiu carry him back.

“Fine, let’s see the spirit ourselves then.” You stand up, hand dusting your clothes. “ If we’re lucky enough, we might be able to see the adepti on the mountain before catching the ghost.” Shrugging, you beam brightly at the shoulder-shaking Xingqiu and the scratching-head Chongyun. You can already guess what will happen in the village after so many times witnessing Xingqiu’s prank. Is this what we called… experiences?

---

Mingyun village is located on a mountain and surrounded by many dried up ores mines, which result in people leaving their homes and moves to the Chasm and Harbor. As your group slowly trek to the written address, you notice an unusually high activity of hilichurls. It’s common for them to move to an abandoned village but isn’t this a little too much? From broken bridge connect the Guili Plain, there are many groups clustering, wandering among themselves. Even Chongyun tries to avoid them, not jumping on their head as usual.

Imagine fighting this many hilichurls, you don’t think your group can make it back to the harbour in one piece. Padding quietly, you walk faster toward Xingqiu, hoping to stick close to him. At least if fighting is bounded to happen, he can protect you. The young master still keeps his unfazed face, following Chongyun while eyes glued on his book. You remember he already finished reading this book?

“ Psstt.” You whisper. “ Are you sure we’re heading the right way? That direction is crowded with monsters.” From here, they can barely see the beast but you can sense an abundant amount over there.

“ It’s this way. It’s marked on the map.” Chongyun answers, eyestrain on a piece of paper, which results in his misstep and tripping. Behind, Xingqiu looks up and worriedly calls out to be careful. You trust Chongyun map-reading skill, but right now, you’re very concerned about his navigation. How can he navigating if he does not even look at the road?

As the scorching sun blazing down the heat, big droplets of sweat dripping down your forehead, and your shirt starts to stick on your skin. Ah, you forgot summer has arrived. The path is sun-drenched, not a single shade can be found. The sweltering heat in this village is almost unbearable, despite the area is borderline with Dragonspine. How can not a single breeze from Dragonspine drift to this area?

As you lazily following the group, your mind starts going into vacation mode. You imagine staying under the shade, enjoy the cool breeze and munching ice cream. The village is quite close to Yaoguang Shoal, maybe you can convince the guys to head down there after they finish their task. In this weather, dipping your feet in the cold water while enjoying popsicles are the best. Stealing some from Chongyun might not be that bad.

Next to you, the Chongyun and Xingqiu are not affected as much as you, maybe because they carry visions? You wonder how their visions help them to cool down?

“ Xingqiu.” You call, hand fanning your face. The boy looks up from his book, humming, unfazed by the boiling weather. Is he not feeling hot at all? Under all of those long sleeve shirt?

“Can we hold hand?”

As soon as the question leaves your mouth, some things don’t feel right. Did you phrase it, a little bit weird?

The cerulean-haired boy chokes on his saliva, eyes widen in surprise, almost drop his precious rare novel. You think you definitely phrase it wrong.

“ Are you okay?” Chongyun turns back abruptly after noticing the coughing sound, his blue eyes filled with worries.

Xingqiu shakes his head and waves his hand, motioning the exorcist to turns back to his map. After a few second of heaving, he finally returns back to normal, shooting you stinky eyes and put his book away. It’s not your fault that he chokes on his own saliva. He chokes it by himself.

“Why would you want… to hold my hand?” Xingqiu questions, cringing at his cracking voice.

“Don’t you feel hot under this weather?” You point your finger at the sky, bright rays hitting your face. Xingqiu nods in confusion, still not understand how your request related to this question.

“If we hold hand, maybe you can share with me some of your coolness.”

Xingqiu stares owlishly at you, and you elaborate more on how the pyro transfers heat through physical touch, and maybe, hydro has a similar mechanism.

As you explain, you notice how his shoulders shaking, while his face remains perfectly calm, except for the betraying light curve on his mouth. Is he trying to contain his smile?

Finally, Xingqiu folds in half and blurts out in laughter, tears forming at the corner of his eyes. In between his howling, the boy breathlessly explains how you misunderstand the elements and visions aren't used for this situation.

Potato, potato, you don’t believe the mischievous vision-holder over there has never tried using his vision for different purposes other than fighting.

Your face burns up, you’re not sure if it’s because of the burning sun, or the embarrassment caused by the hydro user over there. Pouting, you turn away from him, stomping toward Chongyun direction instead.

Hmph, if Xingqiu isn’t going to help you to cool down, then you’d have to ask the exorcist. Somehow, you already know the man is going to hesitate because it might disturb his congenital condition. Well, you’re just going to bribe him with two or three popsicles when you are coming back to the harbour. Nothing a little money can’t fix. And maybe a lot of persuasions too.

As soon as you make your mind, you rush toward Chongyun, calling out for the cryo user. The exorcist is a distance away from you both, and he doesn’t turn back even when you call out for him. Does this mean he didn’t hear the conversation between you and Xingqiu?

Casually skipping toward Chongyun, you call for him again-

“Chongyun, can I... ” before, suddenly hands from behind wrap around your neck, pull you into a wall of meat. You wince at the hard collision with the chest, sensation of callous fingers on your shoulder bring your longing desired: Coolness. Surprised by the sudden touch, you shoot your eyes wide open and crane your neck behind, immediately meet with a sly amber orb.

What is he doing?

Followed by your call, Chongyun curiously turns back and his gentle light blue eyes unwavering. He doesn’t seem to be surprised at this scene.

Does Xingqiu always this touchy?

The young exorcist raises his brows at you but behind, Xingqiu waves his hand dismissive, successfully driving the young boy away, even before you can form your word.

You see the exorcist shrugs and turns his attention back on the piece of paper, heading deeper into the abandoned village, distance between the cryo users and you two starts to grow.

You gawk shockingly into his small figure starts to get smaller, mouth gapes open slightly.

Did Chongyun just leave you behind? What kind of cold-heart friend is he? He definitely saw you are being held back by Xingqiu, right?

Behind, you hear Xingqiu mumbles something about Chongyun being ‘unbelievable’, ‘workaholic’ and ‘careless friend’. Shouldn’t you be the one who says that?

All of a sudden, you realize your back touching his chest, his hands wrap around you from behind. From here, you can smell the faint vanilla and a mix of woody, musk scent.

He reminds you of old books, the feeling of immersing yourself in a dusty library.

Blood rushing to your face, and the first thing that comes to your mind is to escape from his hold. The hydro user somehow able to read your mind, his grip tightens, holding you close.

In an intimate position, with you both fall in silence, your senses suddenly heighten. Even separated by layers of clothes, you can still feel the heat from Xingqiu. The rapid beat of your heart thumping in your rib cage, the coolness from his palm seeping slowly into your skin.

Somehow his touch doesn’t cool you but heating you up more, your body slowly burns up like a furnace. “ C-can you let me go ?” You stutter, squirming helplessly inside the young hydro user, avoiding his teasing gaze.

“ You asked me to touch you, so I comply with my liege's request.”

“ I didn't ask you to touch me.” You quip back at the shameless hydro user, body twisting weakly inside his hold, the sound of clothes rustling. How come you both learn martial arts, yet your strength is nothing compared to him?

“ This is not holding a hand.” You point out at his long arms wrap just under your neck, sulky. “ And stop hugging me. It’s burning in here.”

Xingqiu gives you a grin, amber orbs shoot you a questioning gaze. Well, it’s not true. His long-sleeved are rolled up, exposing the long slender arms, now is pressing on the thin layer of fabric, resonating with coolness. It feels like hydro is running under the vein of his arm. His fingers wrap on your shoulder, constantly transferring the calming sensation of flowing water.

“Isn’t this position more efficient than holding hand?” The hydro lazily rests his face on your shoulder, smirking devilishly. You have to admit this is much cooler than holding a hand, but this is too intimate. Flustered by his alluring gaze, you turn your head away, feet start moving toward the exorcist direction.

“W-we sh-ould catching up with Chongyun, he’s quite far away.” Stammering like a mess, you point your finger at the general direction where the exorcist was heading, the image of a light blue boy is getting smaller, slowly mending into the heat under the scorching furnace resting on your head. A chuckle is followed, but Xingqiu doesn’t say anything else, hands still wrap loosely around you, trailing steps after you.

You are too naïve to think that walking fast will break his hold. The young master of Feiyun Commerce Guild has proved your effort is futile. He effortlessly adjusts to your pace even when you purposefully try to quicken your step or stop abruptly. He doesn’t faze by your antic, instead, leaning close to your ear and blow hot air into your ears teasingly, knowing well how flustered you are.

From here, you can see Chongyun still having his eyes glued on the piece of paper, still not noticing his companions drift far behind him. Indeed he is careless, maybe you two should keep a close distance to protect him.

“ Are you getting cooler?” Xingqiu suddenly leans close, his face just a few inches away from yours.

You hold your breath in silence, heart almost drops at his close proximation. Can he not scare you like that? “ It's getting cooler.” As much as you tempted to elbow the hydro user away, you know how hot it will be without having his arms wrap around you, so you easily give in.

The two of you keep a decent pace while the boy wraps his hand around you, clinging like a koala. Look around, you realize this place is mostly dry trees somehow manage to root in the barren soil, broken wagons and holed baskets lying around in this place. Luckily, this area has much fewer hilichurls compares to the entrance of the village. Look like they’re also trying to find a shade in this weather. This place is closed to Dragonspine, and you still have no idea how the land doesn’t receive a single cool breeze from the frosted city.

“Why did you pull me back earlier?” Hesitantly, you ask him.

Xingqiu let out a confusing sound, not registering your question. Should you elaborate some more?

“When I was calling out to Chongyun.” You quickly add, trying to keep your voice steady and casual.

“ Oh, that.” He hums, his arms tighten around you. Why did he even hold you closer than before? You didn’t try to pry off his hug, why all of a sudden?

“ Because… you were… about to ask Chongyun to h-hold your hand right?” Freeze at his words, you twist your neck, curious at the face he is making right now. It’s rare for him to sound this uncertain about something. As a second son of the Guild Manager of one of the biggest trading guild in Liyue, the young man has been trained to speak with perfection. Every word coming from this young man is carefully formulated and spoken with utmost confidence.

As you face him, the young man furrows his brows, amber eyes fill with hesitant and worried. Why is he acting like this? A sudden wave of guilt washing your stomach, uneasiness slowly sinks deep into your skin.

You… are not supposed to call out for Chongyun?

“ B-but you laugh at me when I explain about the coolness exchange?” Tilting your head in confusion, you can’t help to not follow the hydro user thoughts. He refused you first, wasn't he? It should be normal for you to find Chongyun instead. The exorcist will probably agree to anything as long as he can help. “Wouldn’t it make more sense if I go to find Chongyun instead?”

“And holding hand with Chongyun? Archon, no!” Your skin jumps as Xingqiu raises his voice, and you have no idea what tickles him. Why fuzzing over something so trivial like this?

“ We always hold hands. There’s nothing wrong with it.” You can’t help to shoot back. “ You also hold his hand too.”

“N-no, our holding hand is different.” He can weakly defend, trying to rack his brain out to think of a time when they hold hands. He gives up soon afterwards. “Besides, you shouldn’t be holding hands with anyone.”

“ For your information, this is much more scandalous than holding hand.” You meekly point out, finger poking on his arm bares smooth skin. Twist back, you lean in closer, eyes crinkle into the shape of crescent moons. “And what’s wrong with us kids holding hand?”

Xingqiu can’t help but let out a defeated sigh, face drops down your shoulder and sulky buries his face in the crook of your neck. His hot breaths tickle the sensitive skin, cerulean locks brushing your cheek. Under his breath, you can barely make out his muffle word, saying something about don’t understand.

You slowly trek toward Chongyun’s direction, humming along with familiar tunes. Sudden changes from Chongyun and Xingqiu have no longer made you felt lonely or sadden. Boys at this age are unusual. They aren’t being closed with you as before, no longer inching close to you or hugging you from behind. They are more cautious when being close with you, more mindful when your fingers accidentally graze their.

If you ask them directly, will they answer you why they're acting like a married woman, always jumping every time you innate skinship?

You have a feeling they probably won't answer that.

“ /N… Y/N! ”

Abruptly, you raise your head, forehead almost hitting with Xingqiu’s. Your face is a breath away from his, so close that you can see his long lashes fluttering like a butterfly, shying away from the captivating eyes. His porcelain skin is smooth and flawless, a sudden urge tells you to caress it. A blush slowly creeping up his cheek, and finally, the hydro user shies away, staring at the road.

Xingqiu clears his throat. “ I was talking to you. You were spacing out again?” You can only offer him a sheepish smile.

“ S-sorry, I was thinking about something.”

Xingqiu looks up and stares at your face intently like he is trying to make his way into your maze-like mind. You shift away from his fierce gaze, but the hydro user is faster. His fingers easily catch your face, your cheeks fit perfectly into his cool smooth palm. Xingqiu lets out an amusing chuckle, fingers squishing your cheek playfully like a stress-reliever.

You feel like he has you wrapped around his little finger, literally.

“I don’t know what you were thinking, but whatever it is, it’s incorrect.” Despite the mean fingers toying your cheek, his voice is awfully soft and reassuring. Is he trying to comfort you? Carefully, you gloss your eyes over to his direction, observing the mischievous feature on his face slowly melts into a soft and mellow.

Before you can enjoy the rare gentle side of his, the amber eyes slowly gleam with playfulness, and he leans closer, only stops when your face is just a breath away. His hot breath fanning on your cheek, tickling. He is so close to you, so close that if you tilt your head, our lips will meet.

“ A moment ago, I said that you shouldn’t let any male hold your hand right?” His voice drops low, golden orb flickers like a torch. What is he planning again? You carefully nod.

He isn’t going to… bite you right?

“ You see, holding hand...” The young man chuckles slyly, the arm was wrapped around your neck makes the way down and nudges into your hand, fingers interlocking. " can easily drifting to this." You turn back fully to face him, the other hand still glazes your cheek.

“ They can easily slip their arm around you into a hug…” Slowly, the coolness in your palm slips away and snakes around your shoulder. “Then, they can…” Xingqiu’s grip on your cheek slowly relaxes, fingers slowly inch down on your neck.

Take a big gulp of saliva, you can only widen your eyes, nervously follow at the tracing fingers of his. His long digits don’t stop after wandering around your neck, they slowly creep up, follow your jaw, and then cup on your cheek. The cooling sensation you craved a moment ago now feels like frost nipping on your skin. Heart thumping loudly in the rib cage, you unconsciously hold your breath, waiting for his next move.

In the comfortable silence, his thump delicately brushes your cheek, caressing the sensitive skin. You notice his touch is loving and delicate, it makes you want to snuggle your face into his palm, enjoying this lasting moment.

“…then what?” You open your mouth impatiently, voice light and mushy.

A light pinkish blush quickly dusts on his cheek, you feel the man in front of you tenses up, but he remains his eye contact with you, refuses to avoid your gaze. His lips quiver but nothing coming out. Is he… hesitating? Finally, you hear him mumbles something quietly.

…you

“ What ?” You cock your brows and inch closer, eyes training on his plump lip. They remain still.

Feeling an intense gaze on your head, you feel a light squeeze on your cheek so you curiously tilt your chin up, just to see Xingqiu leans down and presses a light peck at the corner of your mouth.

His plump lips brush yours like a feather, almost non-touching. It’s soft and plush, but the moment only lasts for a few second. Abruptly, the coolness on your cheek leaves hastily, follows by his sleeveless arm around your shoulder.

As soon as you realize what just happened, the young master of Feiyun Commerce Guild has already dashed away, leaving a burning tomato behind. You shyly lower your head, face heats up profusely. Fingers slowly draw up to your lip, you recall the feeling of his lip touching yours.

You feel like you can combust right here and right now.

Unknownst to you, if you look in his direction, you might have spotted a pair of red ears and his inelegant falling on his butt.

#xingqiu #genshin xingqiu #genshin impact #xingqiu x reader #chongyun #xiangling #kiss #clarissalance #a peck #fluff #friend to lovers #best friend to lovers #genshin impact x reader

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theshelbyclan · 4 years

Text

Swords and Daggers

Summary: When a family meeting is interrupted by your sudden menstrual cramps, your brothers do everything in their power to take care of you

(gif by @nofckingfighting) A/N: Anon requested: can you do a shelby!sister imagine where she’s gets these awful cramps and in the middle of a family meeting she just bursts into tears because it hurts so bad and omg the boys would be so soft As I’m currently dying of cramps, it made sense to write this. It’s short, but I hope you like it. Words: 1585 *** “This Saturday,” Tommy started, “We’re going legit. John, you and Johnny Dogs are gathering the men at the Charlie’s yard. Arthur, I need you on the tracks, keep the Lee men off. You can take Finn. I will create a distraction and… Y/N, are you okay?” “Fine,” you ground out, not really wanting to attract attention to yourself, “Tell me where I’ll be.”

“At home,” your brother said shortly. “Like hell I am,” you said, “If we’re going legit, I want in. Why the fuck else am I even here?” “Fuck if I know,” Polly sighed, “being decorative, I suppose.” Tommy shot daggers at his aunt and then turned back to you, “If you ladies have any problems with how I run…” “If we have any problems, we know to shut out mouths and get on with it,” Ada commented from the other side of the round table. “Remember we used to run this entire organisation, Thomas,” Polly scolded, “While you boys were off to France.” “Yes,” Thomas sighed, downing his drink, “I am aware, Pol,” Her look still had some effect on him, much to her satisfaction, “You remember that when you no longer care for our input.” “Fine!” he caved, “Y/N, what role do you want to play?” But you had stopped listening already. In all honesty, you didn’t feel well at all and so Tommy’s words seem to come from very far away. Still, you’d fought years and years to feel like you were a part of the Shelby Company Limited. Women were respected in this family, but never quite on the same level as the men. Sure, it’d been fine for you to take care of business while your brothers were away, and you and Aunt Polly had happily taken on the entire enterprise. With her head for strategy and your head for numbers, sharing the iron Shelby backbone, it’d been quite the dream team. But the boys came back and without many words of thanks, it’d been taken from you as well. There were so many mixed emotions that came with their return from France, but a day didn’t go by that you didn’t curse those men up top who decided to send boys into the mud to die for them. Tommy still stared at you, impatient and a little annoyed, so you said, “I’ll go to Epsom early. I still have the dress. I’ll let Arthur know where the Lee men are and what they’re planning.” Arthur grumbled something inaudibly and when you fixed him with one of your glares, he said, “You want to waltz in there, all dolled up and ready for the taking by any Lee bastard?” “Think I can’t do it, Arthur?” you said coldly. “We know you can do it,” Tommy interrupted, “Doesn’t mean we have to like it.” “I’m not fucking seven, Thomas,” you spat. Another sharp pain went through you and you found yourself physically doubling over in your chair. John immediately turned towards you, “What’s the matter?” “I’m good,” you tried to smile. “Doesn’t look like it…” “Maybe it’s food poisoning,” Arthur ventured. “It’s not.” “What is it then?” Both brothers said in unison. “Just…” you gritted your teeth as another wave of pain came over you, “leave me alone!” “Can’t do that, little sister,” Arthur moved to touch your arm, but you angrily pushed him away.

“She’s not doing good, Tommy,” John’s voice was full of alarm.

Arthur even stood up, “And she’s not fighting any bloody Lee men like that!”

“Calm down,” Aunt Polly said, “Women have been doing it for ages, every month, come hell or high water.”

“That may be so,” Tommy put down his drink, “but this is our sister.”

“I’m fine…” you croaked again, but you weren’t, at all.

“You’re not,” another unhelpful brother said, “you need to be in bed.”

“WILL YOU ALL FUCKING STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO FUCKING DO!” you suddenly burst out, and before you knew it, you had started sobbing.

“Oh no…” John said softly.

“Tom,” Arthur said unsurely, not knowing what to do with himself, “What do we do?”

He quickly took charge and picked you up from your seat. Held bridal style, he walked around the table and you could feel your brothers’ gaze on you, “She needs to be in bed.”

You still protested weakly, “Tommy…”

“Shhh,” he said softly, “We can talk about your plan to seduce the Lees in the morning, eh?”

As he walked with you up the stairs, you suddenly felt yourself lean into him. It felt safe, right there in his arms.

“Water bottles?” you heard one panicky brother shout downstairs.

“Boil the water!” the other replied, “I’ll get the blankets!”

“Ada! Where the bloody hell did you hide that chocolate?!”

You had to smile a little, “You’d think I’m dying…”

“Well, the truth is, sweetheart,” Tommy said in that soft voice he reserved only for you, “We have no idea what you’re going through. We spend half our lives talking to women, flirting with women, being with women…”

“Yeah, alright, I get the point,” you cut him off jokingly.

He pretended like he hadn’t heard you, but a small smile was tugging at his lips, “But we have no idea what it feels like, to lose all that blood…”

“What about France?” you asked.

“That was different, love,” he gently placed you on your bed, “That was a one-time thing and not a monthly struggle. Besides, we weren’t expected to just ignore it and get on with work.”

“I want to work,” you pouted.

Tommy sighed, “Y/N. Listen to me. I know you want to work for the company. I know you. You’re a Shelby and you don’t like being idle. I know. But for tonight, work is done. Get some sleep, eh?”

Suddenly, Arthur came rushing in. It was clear he felt incredibly awkward, but the fact that his arms were filled with hot-water bottles, blankets and chocolate showed he cared, deeply. There were times that you loved your awkward brother more than anyone in the world, and this was one of those moments. You smiled at him full of gratitude and he left quickly after, knowing he’d be back every few hours to check on you. He was the oldest brother after all.

You tried to find a comfortable position for a few moments and the occasional grunt of pain escaped your lips. Tommy looked at you with worry written all over his face, “Don’t know how you fucking do it every month…” he whispered.

“Careful,” you feigned shock, “people might think you’re a feminist.”

He slowly lit a cigarette, “And what if I am, eh?”

You scoffed and reached out, “Give me the cigarette. It helps.”

Another few minutes passed and John stuck his head around the door, “Y/N? Esme tells me it helps when I rub her back. Do you need me to do that?”

“I’ll be fine, John, thanks,” you smiled at him. Where you and Arthur had a bond that required no words, with John it was all words, but they were always good and open and honest. If you needed to talk, you turned to John.

He paused for a second, “What about a doctor, do you need a doctor?”

This made you laugh out loud, “John, sweetheart, this is perfectly normal and it does happen every month. We’d be wasting the doctor’s time!”

“Esme told me to tell you that it’s perfectly normal and there’s nothing wrong with you…”

“I know, John. I’m sixteen: I’ve been doing this for a while now.”

“Right,” he mumbled, “I knew that…”

“John?” you eventually asked and when he looked at you again, you said, “Thank you. I’ll manage.”

“Will you let me know?” John said with a serious look on his face, “If you do need something?”

“How? You’re four houses away. I’m not screaming loud enough for you to hear it, waking up the whole bloody street!”

“Just knock,” he replied, “Sleeping in my old bed tonight, just down the hall,” and before you could protest, he was gone and called from the hall, “Goodnight, babe!”

Tommy still sat in the corner, smoking quietly. You weren’t quite sure why he was there, but his presence was comforting. With Arthur it was protection, with John it was words, but with Tommy it was just his presence. When you two locked eyes, he gave you a warm smile, and it was just like you were six again. Before that god-awful war, he’d always been there. Tommy was the brother who couldn’t be dragged away from his little sister, always trying to get you to ride his pony. He followed you wherever you went and he gave you everything you ever wanted. But after the war, his head was filled with smoke, mud and ambition. But this, this felt like before, and it was good. Maybe it was even worth the swords and daggers attacking your uterus at the moment.

You started feeling yourself drifting off to sleep, with the warm bottle pressed against your abdomen. But before you slept, you mumbled, “I love you, Tommy…”

“Is this another hormonal thing?” a deep voice said in reply, with some sarcasm echoing through.

“Probably,” you smirked, “I’ll hate you again tomorrow, alright?”

“Good. You can take out that anger on the Lees, eh?”

“I will,” you heard your own voice was getting muffled. Still, you felt a small triumph of being allowed to go in the morning.

“Sleep, Y/N,” he almost sung, from a great distance it seemed, “And I love you too.”

***

Masterlist

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lyradaisical · 2 years

Text

Excuse me for a bit, but I’m going to word-vomit here.

If you follow me on YouTube, I had previously made two Vograce review videos. I was set to make an update after my second one because there were some issues with my orders that I was working with customer service to fix.

Long story short, I have decided not to accept the resolutions they offered me. Ultimately, the biggest thing I lost, out of this whole situation, was my time. For anyone who is interested in reading about what happened or if there is any artist who is still debating what manufacturer to order from, buckle in because we're going for a loooong ride. I'm going to touch on details that I didn't cover in my review, mainly how this began and my experience with their service afterward.

First things first, Vograce reached out to me asking me to review their products. They offered three different options for compensation:

$150 coupon to use on their site

$70 coupon + $50 cash

$70 cash

I picked the second option because I was interested in checking out their stuff and the $50 cash was nice because I knew that the shipping cost was going to bite me in the ass. They sent me a list of things I was required to mention in the review video, which all seemed harmless enough. I've had another company reach out to me before and their demands were much shadier, so Vograce seemed legit to me.

Since I didn't have any designs to order at the moment, they shipped me a sample pack to review. I had to order the sample pack, which was $9.90 and the shipping cost was a whopping $20.18. I was refunded this cost. The products in the sample pack were genuinely very nice and my review reflected my honest opinions about them. Because of that, I was excited to place my first order using the compensation they sent me.

Order #1 January 21, 2022

6x 5 acrylic charm designs with no special coating

6x 1 acrylic charm design with star holographic on both sides

3x A6 spiral notebooks

3x A6 leatherette notebooks

Cost: $90.45

Shipping: $41.21

Total: $131.66

Out of pocket cost: ~$15

Since they liked my first review, they came back and asked me to do another review based on the order I put in. This time, I opted for the $150 coupon because there were some other things I wanted to check out.

Order #2 February 20, 2022

3x acrylic standees

10x 15mm washi tape

10x 30mm washi tape

100x 7cm heart memo pads

Cost: $156.57

Shipping: $51.17

Total: $207.74

Out of pocket cost: $57.74

Grand total spent: ~$73

I received my first order on March 21, 2022, so it took about two months. I gave them some leeway because Lunar New Year was within that time so they were on holiday. I let them know that I received the package and asked if my second one was coming any time soon because if it was, I could wait for it and review those items as well, even though I didn't have to. I just really wanted the review to be useful to fellow artists. My second order arrived on March 31, 2022.

At this point, I finally took the time to unpack and check everything. What I received was:

6x holographic acrylic charms

35x standard acrylic charms (7 each of the 5 designs)

3x A6 spiral notebooks

3x A6 leatherette notebooks

3x acrylic standees

11x 15mm washi tape

8x 30mm washi tape

50x sticky notepads

I'm not going to go into detail over what was wrong since I spent a ton of time doing so in my review video here. But basically, the notebooks were poor quality, dots printed only on one side of the page, the page count was wrong, I receive 50 sticky notepads instead of 100 memo pads, 8 instead of 10 of the 30mm washi tape, etc.

(Also, if anyone who is knowledgeable about shipping costs from China could confirm with me if these shipping costs were legitimate or not, that would be great! I had been suspicious of them overcharging on shipping to boost their profits, but since I don't have any actual knowledge on that, I won't say for sure.)

I spent about two days gathering my thoughts, images, videos, and screenshots and then made the review video. I reached out to Vograce and told them that I posted the review and that there were several issues with my order. As to why I made the review before contacting them, I felt that it would be a better reflection of what you could expect when receiving your order (in this case, a lot of errors). I also did not want to be coerced into not making a less-than-stellar review.

They apologized for the mistakes and then asked me to delete the review. Apparently, they didn’t like how critical it was despite the fact that I tried to be understanding about everything and was told by friends that my review was TOO nice. The way it was worded screamed 'scummy' to me. "Could you delete the video, first?" As if them fixing the order would be dependent on me deleting the video.

I replied back and said that I wouldn’t delete my review. I may have been compensated but I’m still going to be honest. And let's be real, my time is worth a lot more than what they sent me, considering how much time I spent working on the videos. I told them that I trusted they would allow me to be honest and that if I deleted it, it would be very clear that they’re only out to buy positive reviews.

They backtracked, of course, and told me that they prefer honesty as well and that they simply wanted me to add on to the review after they fixed any issues because they pride themselves on their customer service. To which I told them that I mentioned in my review that I would give an update. I even stated that I had faith that they would fix it. So they had no excuse to tell me to delete it.

Anywho, we get past this and try to work on resolving my order. I pointed out all the issues they had: wrong info on their website, wrong templates provided, broken pages, etc. Let me tell you, my husband was not pleased whatsoever about this because normally companies PAID people to do what I did (finding errors, etc.) and I was doing it for them for FREE. He was even more so irritated because he is certain I got ripped off on shipping (since his line of work has him knowledgable about the Asia and Pacific regions). But whatever, you know. I really just wanted there to be a decent company out there that we artists could buy reasonably priced custom merch from, and if Vograce could fix these things, that’d be great.

So we went back and forth and my god was this painful. There are obviously several people that handle correspondence, which isn’t inherently a problem, but the thing here was that there was no communication between them and they didn’t bother going through the backlog to get an understanding of the problem. Some of them also aren't as good with English as others. I had to repeat myself several times. All I simply wanted was replacement products but for some reason, it felt like I was pulling teeth.

For example, they were utterly confused about the memo pads. I was questioned about shape and design several times. I used their template. I sent the design. What is there to be confused about?

For the spiral notebooks, where the image was stretched, they supposedly fixed their template and told me to send in the design using the new template. But when I looked at it, it still did not look like the right sized template for printing an A6 book. I measured the book, I got measurements for everything, and got back to them but they were still adamant that they were right so I went “You know what? Forget the notebooks. We clearly aren’t going to agree on this so I don’t want them.” They offered a $5 coupon to cover it:

Fast forward almost a month later. Honestly, I was pretty pissed. “How are you these days?” I was expecting my replacement order to be delivered by now only for them to be like “Oh, turns out we actually can’t make it.”

I replied and asked if there was a reason why they couldn’t be made. I didn’t pick a custom design. AGAIN I picked the heart which is one of the standard designs. And the listing was still on their website. The reply:

I was screaming at this point, really. Never have I ever worked with a supposed professional company that was this incompetent. I didn't bother responding to this and just left it. This morning when I checked my phone, "Rachel" had gotten back to me:

I was just so done at this point because I knew that getting the items I wanted was no longer an option and I didn't want to buy from them anymore after this experience so a coupon was worthless, not to mention I'd have to put even more money out to cover shipping.

This was the reply that I sent before blocking them:

I believe that it will be best for us to end this collaboration here. I do not want the sticky notes or the coupon, as I am no longer comfortable with ordering from this business.

I have to say that I am disappointed with this experience. I really wanted to like this company. There is a level of irresponsibility and unprofessionalism within this business that I find unacceptable—lack of quality checking, mistakes on the website, poor communication amongst the team, offering products that aren't available, etc.

I'm not impressed with the blame towards the factory. A responsible business would put in the effort to find out what their manufacturer is capable of and would ensure this by getting samples of what can be made as well as ensuring the quality of said items. Instead, what we have here is a business that makes assumptions of what they can sell and advertises them for sale without knowing if the item can even be made or is of good quality.

Personally, I feel that it would be best for you to stick to the acrylic charms until you can reorganize and ensure that you can manage selling the other products. My statement from my review still stands: I can recommend this company for acrylic products and charms, but not for the other products.

I wish this company good luck in improving for the future.

I'm just so disappointed because I really really did like their charms (the clasps!) But because I happened to try out the other products, I inadvertently found out just how poorly this business is run.

I know many artists have had very pleasant experiences with Vograce and I totally get that. I had very pleasant experiences with them too, where the acrylic products are concerned. I don't want to deter people from writing this business off altogether because they did try to resolve my issues. It's just that it wasn't something that could be solved. But for me personally, I don't think I will buy from them again. If they do manage to get their act together after all of this, then that will be great for them. But the way they push responsibility onto others (their factory, the customers) just rubs me the wrong way.

#rant #review #vograce

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littlesmartart · 3 years

Note

Now I’m curious, what songs do you aggressively assign to xiyao and 3zun? (Only somewhat related, have you ever heard the song “Heart of Stone” from the SIX soundtrack? Excluding one line (without my son your love would disappear), I feel very passionately that it is a Yanli talking about Zixuan song.)

under a cut because this got RIDICULOUSLY long haha

okay okay so XIYAO... first of all, let's get this tragic shit over and done with -

Burn from Hamilton (I drew a comic here)

Sympathy by Kyla La Grange is a guilty JGY reflecting on their relationship (A lead weight for your open palm / And a white shirt over your bloody heart / To think I thought I was all you are / I was missing from the start / Couldn't let you cradle my head or stay / Let you waste your wonderful words / In my sleep I circled your heart with red ink / When I woke you were already hurt)

Broken by Jake Bugg is Xichen towards the end of canon (For you have become / All I lost and all I hoped for / But I must carry on / Always one, never broken / Run to the lobby where I saw you try / Don't give a damn for your reasons why)

Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want, specifically the Muse cover because of how jarring and discordant it is, is JGY having his breakdown in the temple and cry-yelling at Xichen (Haven't had a dream in a long time / See, the life I've had / Can make a good man bad / So for once in my life / Let me get what I want / Lord knows, it would be the first time)

Mr Blue by Catherine Feeney being JGY at the end of canon because colour symbolism (Mr. Blue / I told you that I love you / Please believe me / Mr. Blue / I have to go now, darling / Don't be angry / I know that you're tired / Know that you're sore and sick and sad for some reason / So I leave you with a smile / Kiss you on the cheek / And you will call it treason)

aaaand then for some happy stuff because you know in any universe they'd be the soppiest most heart-eyes chin-hands motherfuckers at each other. I think that really you could apply a lot of [dreamy sigh] [lovesick smile] [deep yearning] ballads to them tbh?

Somethin' Stupid, and I'm going to recommend the Robbie version because that's the one I have and I legit like it so shut up. I think this would be mostly how everyone outside sees them - as two people who are being so weirdly anxious whilst also desperately embarrassingly and obviously mutually pining 🙄 (I know I'd stand in line / Until you think you have the time / To spend an evening with me / And if we go someplace to dance / I know that there's a chance / You won't be leaving with me / Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place / And have a drink or two / And then I go and spoil it all / By saying something stupid / Like I love you)

My Guy by Kele Okereke because it's just!!! so soppy and romantic and this cover was made specifically for an album of queer wedding songs called "Universal Love"!! (I've got sunshine on a cloudy day / When it's cold outside / I've got the month of May / Well I guess you'd say / What can make me feel this way? / My guy / I'm talkin' 'bout my guy)

Atlas: Two by Sleeping At Last - I found this song through a gorgeous Wangxian video but I think it works really really well for Xiyao too, because they also have that mutual Let Me Take Care Of You Forever Please love language (I know exactly how the rule goes / Put my mask on first / No, I don't want to talk about myself / Tell me where it hurts / I just want to build you up, build you up / 'Til you're good as new / And maybe one day, I'll get around / To fixing myself, too)

Yellow by Coldplay because that colour symbolism!! Xichen @ JGY (And your skin / Oh yeah, your skin and bones / Turn in to something beautiful / Do you know / For you, I'd bleed myself dry / For you, I'd bleed myself dry)

3zun is a little more complicated but I do have some!

Up In Flames by Coldplay with that sense of slow inevitable destruction (So it's over / This time you're flying on / This time I know no song / Can stop, its slowly burn / Can stop, it's slowly gone / Up in flames / Up in flames / Up in flames / We have slowly gone)

Safety Of Distance by Lior - this one is specifically about NieYao reconciling and 3zun coming back together, be that in a happier AU or in a fierce corpse AU post-canon (And all the colours will return to these hills / Where the dust of despair takes hold / One day they will drink from these now still waters / Where there's a will there's a road / It won't bring back lovers and friends, / But it might make for a happier end)

Coming Down by Halsey (I drew a comic here)

Gone Gone Gone by Phillip Phillips and this one is perhaps more Xichen @ NieYao than 3zun mutually, although in an AU where they've reconciled it work (When you fall like a statue / I'm gon' be there to catch you / Put you on your feet, you on your feet / And if your well is empty / Not a thing will prevent me / Tell me what you need / What do you need? / I surrender honestly / You've always done the same for me / So, I would do it for you, for you / Baby, I'm not movin' on / I'll love you long after you're gone)

Keep Moving by The Boxer Rebellion - a general sense of inevitability but clinging to each other in the time they have (One by one / I know we have seen some things / That could have torn us apart / Threaten what we have been / And I have asked myself / What could be more then this / And if you left me tomorrow / It is all I know I'd miss / But I know... / Keep moving with me now / Keep moving with me now / We have seen / The way its gonna be / The way its gonna be)

#xiyao #3zun #woof that took a while #fun though!#the untamed

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fragileizywriting · 2 years

Text

"grab a guitar from the rack," jagged calls out, from the kitchen, making luka groan from where he is on the couch. "go on, go on son--"

"are you sure about this?" penny eeps. "but, jagged, you haven't sang anything in so long--"

"he just likes hearing me play," luka laughs. "i don't think he's going to sing."

"go on! go! grab a guitar!" something stalls in his head, something short, just as luka grabs for one already plugged into the amp. he knows what jagged wants to hear-- he doesn't have to hear it in his chest to know that jagged's looking for something punchy, chasing after a jazz edge. he starts up a strum, lowering down the volume, just loud enough so that they can still have a conversation while jagged puts around the fridge for something to satisfy his gravings for a shot glass. "grab a guitar and have a cigar."

rhyming just comes so easy for him.

luka snorts. "god, i remember that."

"that old fuck," jagged agrees, like he's not one of them these days. "i don't even remember his name but he had that look in his eyes like he was salivating for money."

"ridiculous, wasn't it?"

"you tell them of the story of what happened yet? have i? shit, have--" jagged looks over to penny. "pen? have i said this before? stop me if i have, sweetheart, don't make me repeat myself. old fucks always forget what day it is and god knows i'm as old as the first newspaper published."

"story about a cigar?" marinette blurts out before she can stop herself. "we've never heard it. maybe penny has..."

penny shakes her head in a 'no'. "tell us about it?"

"i have never smoked in my life." jagged slips easily into story mode as luka continues to play through chords. he's goofing around, just like he always does at home and has always done ever since the two of them have met, but something sobers in jagged's eyes as his head sways to the clippyness of the way he plays. "i like that. higher up a bit, lukas. something that i can fit a drum under." he does. the chords start shaping up, molding into something even more delirious. jagged has that way about him-- luka has always been able to strum out the most nonsensical pattern available and jagged can make it fit through a keyhole and come out the other side as a hit. he'd done it with melody, with goodbye blue skies, and even the entirety of the division album. and yet jagged looks to him with such warmth, as much as he can, when he's only a couple of months sober and itching for something to fix him up again. "you've never lost it, son, you're a brilliant man. you're making me write yet another song, i can feel it."

he tries not to smile, ignoring the way marinette's eyes widen and adrien starts to tap his foot in excitement. he's never been shy playing for a crowd, always done so especially because of jagged, but there's something different about the two of them watching something that's going to be so first-draft. "is here good? or is this still too low?"

"bit more up. punch it-- lift up your finger there on the-- try a g major? hit the-- yes, that's it. i forget how easy it is for you to read my mind."

"not always. what's in your head, jean?" luka asks him, getting a shake of his hair in return. jagged's in full story mode now, the way he fiddles with his glass cup like he's nursing it between his fingers, all light, all good, all in the moment like he used to get all those years ago.

"when the first album came out, back in the seventies, we had a record company call us over. the two of us, me and lukas. our posters everywhere in the record label, like they were hyping themselves up to be our people. looked promising, looked legit."

"they kept thinking i was stone, though."

"i remember that, yeah. it was... upsetting. all those posters but not knowing who was who? talk about people who don't know how to market themselves."

"i kept saying it was you..."

"they thought i was the drummer. bloody idiots. loved that for them. couldn't tell apart an apple for a pear, i guess. never knew what was going on in there."

"even if we kept saying it over and over that you were actually jagged stone and i was just your guitarist."

"just my guitarist, yeah, like you weren't the reason why i'm richer than god. anyway, record company. we came to meet a real big guy, sweating, bald like he'd lost his hair the next town over from a gambling scheme." jagged sits, moving his feet, like he's figuring out his drums. "wasn't quite used to it yet, it looked like. he kept touching his head like he'd forgotten the hair was gone."

"the room smelled awful," luka adds on, just as jagged laughs to himself. "smelled like someone had dropped the ash-tray and never bothered to pick it back up again. tobacco just clung to everything. it stuck to the back of your teeth if you tried to eat anything from there, too."

"and i've always been against smoking," jagged reiterates. "one thing i've always said, i said i'll try anything once so long as i don't have to put it in my lungs. always found the act of holding something up to my lips rather stupid-- can't sing that way. always said that." everyone laughs in the living room, how jagged sways, moving his fingers to the beat against the glass. "but the guy doesn't listen, no, he takes one look at me, fresh out of dropping my mom off at church because she's always been a religious woman-- god bless her, always praying we'd be successful, she'd almost fallen over out of her chair when she'd heard the radio announce that melody had become number one on radio caroline--"

luka's head snaps up. "cora listened to pirated radio?"

"of course she did, son, religious she was but conservative british broadcasting lover she was not-- you know that, you remember. anyway, we're sitting there, listening to this man sing praises to lukas about how he thinks his album is incredible, and goes: come in here, dear boys, have a cigar, you'll both are going far."

luka makes a face. "no, pretty sure he said 'you're going to fly high'--"

jagged waves him off. "you're never gonna die, you're gonna make it if you try; they're gonna love you."

oh. he feels the drum line rather solid, now, even though it doesn't exist at all. luka paces with it, just as jagged calls out some praise that gets lost to the noise of the guitar. "the man kept going, even though jean kept waving his hands out in a no, like he didn't hear, going: well, i've always had a deep respect, and I mean that most sincere."

"your album's just fantastic, that's what i've always known." he laughs to himself. "by the way, which one's 'stone'?"

(reference for song including one of the most beautiful guitar solos i've ever had the pleasure of hearing, i love this cover so much and i wish it were on spotify)

#speakizys #demon lovin

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secondhand-trash · 4 years

Text

Kinktober 2020 — somnophilia

A/N: two things: 1. this chapter is called sleep paralysis because in cantonese we call sleep paralysis 鬼壓床 which legit means a ghost pressing up against you in bed. 2. there are so many references in here that referred back to the other chapters of Le Petite Mort and I hope everyone had fun seeing all the throwbacks lmao

Warning: mention of arguments, somnophilia, dubcon, oral (receiving), thigh fucking, vaginal penetration, unprotected sex, ghost fucking

Word count: 3662

What do ghosts do to avoid dying in car crashes?

You grinned, and he felt goosebumps rising on his skin at how innocent and sweet the smile was.

“You’re sleeping in the guest room tonight.”

Shinsou thought you were joking when you threw those few words down and headed upstairs without even sparing him one more glance, or that it was only something you said out of a moment of anger, but the deadpan look in your eyes as you shut the door in his face when he was about to follow you into the master bedroom was no joke.

Fine, he fucked up.

At first, he was certain that after one night, after you got a good night sleep and you weren’t pissed at him anymore, things would return to normal but no. The next day, you walked straight past him when he tried to catch you coming down the stairs. His hand was raised midair awkwardly when you directly ignored him after he greeted you with a tone that he felt was very nonchalant and proceed to block him from your view directly with the fridge’s door.

Being indirectly ignored kind of sucks, but being deliberately ignored and knowing he could not really deny that it was his fault really fucking sucked.

It was the third night of him sleeping alone in the empty guest room and after two days of being treated like air, he was starting to feel very, very bothered. How did he survive living on his own for so long? Shinsou groaned and flipped to his side, feeling a great sense of annoyance when the clear consciousness reminded him brutally that he did not need sleep at all and thus he was left with nothing but silence and his own thoughts as a company while he waited for the sun to rise.

He had wanted to swallow his pride and apologise first but every time he just felt a strange knot twisting and pressing down on his stomach when he met your cold stare that was obvious you wanted to pretend you couldn’t see him but also failed to not pick up his presence. He did something wrong, but was he really the sole one at fault? A hint of annoyance aroused from his chest whenever he saw how casually you looked when you walked around the house like it was just you, ripping away all the words that were stuck at the back of his throat until it vanished into thin air.

And so here he was, third night of not being able to sleep on his own bed, tossing and turning as the frustration of not being able to fall asleep made him all the more irritated.

How did he usually get through the night? He sighed, letting his arms fell at his sides limply while staring at the blank ceiling. Right, he clicked his tongue, he used to focus on the steady breathing from your side and use that to lure himself into letting his mind wander off to a state the closest he could get to being sound asleep.

He groaned, running his palms down from his messy bangs to his face before slamming them down on the mattress. You really need to change this mattress to a nicer one, he thought as he looked around the room, and get some decorations too.

Urgh, but that would have to wait until you make up.

It would have to happen eventually, right?

He missed the way you would curl up next to him subconsciously in your sleep, or just having you next to him in general. He wondered if you were having a hard time sleeping on your own as well, or had you managed to get used to being alone like you had been ignoring him?

Shinsou thought of the soft whimpers you let out in your sleep, together with the steady rise and fall of your chest when you exhaled. Your lips jutted out so endearingly as nearly inaudible snores roll off of your lips. He felt a different type of irritation at the image, the type that started sparking up in his chest and spread all the way down to his lower stomach, then settled between his legs as an uncomfortable burn.

Fucking hell, as if the night couldn’t get any worse. The sigh he let out was exasperated when he slammed his head back, not getting any relief but felt an overwhelming emptiness when he moved his palm to place it over his semi-erection.

It had been a while since he was even close to being sexually frustrated, not with you around always one step ahead of him when he came up to wrap his arms around your waist and press up against you, earning a soft chuckle before you spun around and pull him in to reciprocate his initiation. He wasn’t all too dissatisfied by his own hand before you came into the picture either but now, knowing that you were right next door with only a wall between the two of you, soundly asleep in the very thin and very tiny shorts you like to wear in bed was not helping his case at all.

Walls could not keep him out. There were ground rules around the house, the first being “no walking through walls” but did that really matter when you wouldn’t even talk to him? His eyes widened at the thought that appeared in his head, pondering for a moment if it was immoral.

He let out a dry chuckle at how the situation he was in reminded him a whole lot of the night when he talked to you for the first time, when he was also on the other side of the wall battling his own thoughts on whether he should slip through it or not. How strange it was that he was now back at the same spot but struggling because of a different reason? Shinsou shut his eyes tight, knowing that this correlation meant one of the arguments in his head had won.

He hadn’t felt like this in a hot minute, but he suddenly remembered why he liked it so much when he pressed his hand on the wall and felt his body melting away.

He was in your(his) room when he opened his eyes again, shivering a little as his skin tingled from manifesting into a physical being again. His breath hitched when he caught your figure sprawled out on the large bed from the corner of his eyes. Taking a tentative step closer, he couldn’t help but let out a soft gasp at how lovely you looked. The moonlight spilled in through the parted curtains that flowed with the occasional breeze, slashing down a glowing white line across your face.

In sleep, you looked so at peace with your hands loosely by your side and your face tilted against the pillow. Your shirt had ridden up, likely from tossing around the space that you usually wouldn’t have that much of with him there by your side. He felt a pang in his chest when he saw the corner of the lavender blanket you bought for him months ago when he first moved into your room poking out from under your frame, the pounding growing louder and louder until it was all he could hear in his eardrums.

Was he allowed to make the assumption that you missed him as much as he had been thinking about you?

His steps were soft as he inched closer and closer to you, worried about waking you up at any given moment. He had told himself that he would only look but holding back was such a hard task when you were right there and he could touch your cheek if he did so little as reached out.

He froze in place when you flinched under his touch, forgetting to breathe for a second before he let out a relieved sigh at the observation that you were still very much so soundly asleep. He was careful when he slowly kneeled down on the edge of the mattress, cautious of the dip that sunk down around you as he perched on top of you.

He leaned down, and paused when he was hovering right about your face. His heart was pounding in his chest, his gaze skittering as he drank in your serene expression.

The first peck was quick and he pulled back almost immediately the moment he touched the softness of your lips. He was breathless at how you seemed to be asking for more with the way your mouth parted even more reflectively and he dipped back in before doing it again and again and again.

He got bolder and bolder when he saw how you were not close to jolting awake, tentatively slipping his tongue in and supported the back of your head with his hand as he tilted you back. It took every ounce of control in him to not moan out at the feeling of your warm mouth, the feeling of skin overwhelming him after a while of isolation.

He couldn’t help but let his hands wander down from the side of your waist and onto the soft swell of your hips where it was connected to your thighs. His lips started to trail down your jaw, not daring to nib down but compromised with open mouthed kisses that left trails of sheen down the soft skin of your neck. He felt a rush to his core when you shivered at the feeling of his icy fingers brushing against your stomach when he crept his hand up your shirt, a subtle jolt of your hips when the pad grazed against your perky nipples nearly had him pulling away.

“Hmp...”

The whimper that slipped from your lips when he rolled the hardened bud between his fingers had his mind racing, his other hand kneading the other side gently over your shirt. He found himself biting back a groan at the sound of your voice. It had only been three days and he already felt like it had been ages since last heard your voice. Trailing down, his eyes were fixed on your face as his lips phantomed over your torso, letting out a shaky breath when he eventually stopped on top of your pelvis.

He felt a heat flaming at the tip of his ears when he dipped his head down, letting the tip of his nose just barely rubbing against the fabric of your shorts before carefully yanking the loose fitting edge of it to the side.

He could not hold himself back anymore when he saw the faint wet spot that had formed at the crotch of your panties.

One long lick on the cotton had it sticking against your cunt, the slight print of your folds sensible on his tongue as he mapped out the shape. He felt like an absolute pervert, feeling so turned on by the slightly textured cotton tugging at his tongue and the sight of his saliva leaving a mark on the already forming spot on your panties. Your body squirmed a little under his ministrations, soft pants leaking from your parted lips and egging him on. Even in your sleep, your body was always responsive to every single touch and drag he placed on you. He slid his index finger underneath the thin piece of fabric, pushing it to the side to reveal your bare slit. There was a slight sheen coating your sex, the lightest clench visible as he laid there with his face right in front of you.

Every fiber in his being was set aflame when you let out a muffled moan at the tentative way he pressed his tongue flat against your pussy, his hand on top of your lower stomach and thumb just pulling the hood of your clit up enough for him to see the small bud. Glancing his eyes upward, he hummed softly when he saw your eyebrows furrowing together at the friction, slowly and steadily picking up the pace of his kitten licks so your sleeping body could adjust to it in your dreams.

The sounds you made when you were asleep was much different to that when you were very much so conscious, so much breathier and whiny as he dragged his tongue along your sopping folds and flicking upwards at your clit that was starting to swell up from the touches.

His other hand reached down to his pants to palm his hard on, focusing on how your legs kicked slightly when his tongue slipped past your cunt and stretched out your walls slightly. He felt you clamping down on his harder than usual and it took more coaxing for him to find ease with plunging the warm muscles in and out of your core. You made a soft whimper that almost sounded like a mewl when he swirled the tip of his tongue in you, rubbing against your sensitive walls as he felt your muscles relaxed around him.

The dull ache between his legs was now painstakingly obvious and hard to brush off as he tasted your arousal on his tongue, the saltiness filling his senses and reminding him of the way your legs clenched around his head the last time he was devouring you.

He did not miss the way your back arched when he pulled out, swiping his tongue across his bottom lips to collect your juices that were leaking down the corner of his lips. His hand was at the side of your thigh, caressing your skin gently as he pulled down the band of his pants. He chewed on his lips as he fisted his cock in hand, the other that was on your legs moving to pull your shorts and panties off your legs completely before he kneeled between your parted legs.

You twisted around a little when he carefully held onto your calves and bringing them up, kissing the arch of your foot as he eyed you in intent. You didn’t seem to be so displeased by his maneuvering than you were because of dissatisfaction, your lips parting like a frown and your brows locked in place. He rubbed his tip against the soft flesh of your thighs that were now pressed together.

He groaned at the feeling of your legs pressing against his cock when he slip his length in between the base of your thighs, the wetness of your slit making for lubrication as he slowly thrust up against the soft flesh. He gritted his teeth, trying hard to not let the moans that were stuck at the back of his throat echoed out at how nice and warm your skin felt. The friction that was provided had his skin heating up, the way his cock rubbed between the curve of your thighs almost painful before the burn was taken over by a rush of pleasure down his spine. Your hips rocked against the mattress as he snapped his hips upwards, your lips falling apart to form a rounded shape as the white sparks poked against your blurred senses in your sleep.

The sound of skin slapping against skin bounced off the walls, and the back of your thighs reddened under each slam of his pelvis against your skin. His tip was leaking with pre-cum, dripping onto your lower stomach in dots of white as his jaw clenched. He could see your face clearly with the way he was on his knees, each furrow of your eyebrows and quiver of your lips all being drank in by his wandering eyes. His breaths got more and more erratic as he felt his stomach tightened, the period of time where he was completely deprived of acknowledgement let alone touch weighing at the pit of his stomach and making his self control chipped away little by little.

He was sure he could taste blood on his lips with how hard he was biting down as he pulled out from between your legs, his hands still gripping tightly onto your knees as he hooked them loosely around his waist.

It was almost a performative gesture when he leaned down and kissed you square on the lips before he hilted in you.

The sudden stretch set aflame on the fuse in your core, the numbing shock that pulsed through your body tickling your senses until it was far too real to be a dream. You blinked your eyes as you slowly stirred awake, the sore at the side of your jaw and the jolts that reached right down to the tip of your toes setting in as your eyes got used to the darkness.

You felt a pang of panic when you realised that your limbs could not move.

It was like there was this invisible weight on your body, your legs propped up mid-air but there was nothing between them except for the unmistakable feeling of something hard and hot pulsing between your tight walls. Your eyes rolled back when the pleasure settled in, your body being completely out of your own control as you laid there and gave in to the warmth that was budding in your core. You wanted to whine when the fullness suddenly ceded, only for it to return in the form of a strong thrust that aimed right at the spongey spot deep inside of you. There was nothing in your vision except for the darkness of the room and the faint moonlight, but you did not even need to make a guess to know who it was pressing up against you.

“Ah- Toshi!”

And there it was, the sweet sound of his name rolling off your lips that he didn’et get to hear for the past few days. It was pleasure, an illogical sense of longing, and guilt that settled into the pit of his stomach when you clamped down around his cock. He gulped, his lips falling open as he threw his head back at your velvety walls around his length that was pulsing and warming inside of you.

He appeared in front of your eyes with a blink, and you lifted up your hands in struggle under the way your body shook under his force. He leaned down almost immediately when you looked at him in the eyes, the waves of emotions welling up in his chest when your hand tangled into his unruly hair and pulled him down for a kiss, the kind where you put in as much force into it that your teeth almost clashed.

He moaned into your mouth, ropes of white cum painting your insides as his thrusts got sloppier. He was still driving in and out of you when he let go of your legs and reached right up to where your bodies connected. A sharp mewl was ripped from the back of your throat when he rubbed his thumb against your clit, his tongue tangled with yours as he tried to push you down the edge with each press and nudge of his digit against the engorged bud.

You shut your eyes tight as the hair at the back of your head stood up at the chills that washed down your arms, tugging his hair between your fingers as you cum around him. The soft lilac locks felt like silk slipping out of your hand as you let your hands slam down on your side, letting out a sigh when he gave a few more thrusts before slowly pulling out.

You whimpered at the sudden emptiness, the instant feeling of the sticky substances inside of you threatening to leak out had you clenching your legs together out of reflex as the man flopped next to you. It was the first time you felt a weight around you on the mattress in days, and you didn’t feel the oddity setting in until you shivered under the cold touch of his arm around your waist.

His droopy eyes were looking up at you from the side as you stared at the ceiling, staying silent except for the slight panting of your breaths.

You sighed, “I was trying to stay mad at you...”

“I know,” he said, the knot at the back of his throat starting to form but he swallowed it down as he forced what he must say out of his lips, “I’m sorry.”

His voice was so soft, and you could not help the stammering in your chest at how there were so many times when you were close to giving in the past few days just to hear that.

You closed your eyes, trying to conjure up all the things that had been floating in your head that past few days when you were so torn between guilting him and mending things. It wasn’t the nicest thing you could have done, you would have to admit but it was the decision that made you feel better and now that you were, you could finally see past the moment of rage blinding your eyes and think of how to move onwards.

“We should talk about that day later,” you said in a whisper, each exhale feeling like a bit of weight was lifted from your chest, "if we want this to work then we need to figure out how to work through things and... well, I really want this to work out.”

“Yeah,” he replied, pressing a kiss to the blade of your shoulder, “I do too.”

You had gotten so used to the scent of lavender that seemed to follow him where ever he went that you were numbed to it almost but the last few days had made the lack of floral hints prickling at your nose awfully hard to ignore. You had never liked lavender, still didn’t now, but there were no denying that your brain slowly melted down at the sweet scent that brushed against your nerves.

You would talk later, but for now you just wanted to fall asleep and not wake up until the sun was spilling through the window onto the large bed that you no longer occupied alone.

Read the rest of the series here

They buckle their sheetbelts.

#bnha imagines #bnha imagine #bnha x reader #bnha smut #shinsou x reader #shinsou imagines #shinsou imagine #shinsou smut #tw: dubcon

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moonlightserenadeeznutz · 3 years

Text

Top Surgery

Oneshot about (trans) Remus Lupin getting top surgery. Bit of wolfstar as well.

Disclaimer: To all my trans boys/trans masc people reading this. You are no less trans, nor are you no less male/masculine if you decide against top surgery, or if you don’t/can’t get top surgery. This goes for bottom surgery, binding, hormones, etc. Your body doesn’t define your gender, nor does what you decide to do with it. <3 ~ Remus wasn’t allowed to get top surgery until he was seventeen. Well... “top surgery” was the muggle name for it. In the wizarding world, a simple spell would do the trick. But there was a law in the wizarding world stating that parts of the body weren’t allowed to be removed from an underage wizard or witch unless said body part was detrimental to the child’s life, say, an unfixable limb, or a gangrenous leg. And despite Remus’ adamance that his chest was a detriment, specifically to his mental health, (when would the wizarding world take mental health seriously? He regularly thought to himself), the law disagreed. So he had to wait until he was of age.

In the meantime, he simply wore a shirt with a binding charm put upon it, which did the trick to make his chest look flat with his clothes on, but he was desperate to just be able to take his shirt off, in the hot weather or in bed. He forwent ever swimming in the lake with his friends because he couldn’t swim with his binder on, but he didn’t want his chest to be noticeable. So he had to sit by the edge of the lake instead, his feet dipped in and his friends splashing at him from within the water.

Another problem Remus faced was that, even when he did turn seventeen, he had no idea where to go to get top surgery. He lived in 1970s Britain. There were simply no resources, muggle or wizarding, and he didn’t have the money anyway. And Madam Pomfrey couldn’t do it. She was a school nurse, she wasn’t allowed to perform procedures. She could only give out potions and fix up bones. Procedures were for St Mungos. And St Mungos didn’t have top surgery as an option.

The days leading up to Remus’s seventeenth birthday made him rather depressed. He’d soon be of age, but it wouldn’t make any difference. He was stuck. Stuck in the wrong body, and there was nothing he could do.

Of course, he had been on hormones since second year, or at least the wizarding version of hormones, which was just a transfiguration potion, and luckily for him, it wasn’t against wizarding law as long as he had his parents’ permission, which he did. And the potion had changed his body considerably. His voice deepened, he had facial hair and he tried hard to work out so he had abs and muscles, which he knew wasn’t exactly necessary, and he didn’t go overboard, but really he was just trying to offset the dysphoria he got from his chest by making the rest of him look as masculine as possible.

He was in a similar situation with bottom dysphoria, but at least he was able to hide it. Getting surgery for that wasn’t as pressing as his chest, and because of the potion he at least didn’t have to worry about his periods anymore.

Compared to Remus’s misery before his seventeenth birthday, Sirius, James and Peter were clearly happy about something, but they wouldn’t tell him what it was, even when he threatened to hex them; a threat he regularly used but never went through with, so it didn’t do much to get them to talk.

But he soon found out what they were whispering about on the day of his seventeenth. Sirius handed him an envelope, unlabelled, and said “It’s from all of us.”

“You know, for two rich people, you guys can be real cheapskates.” They just continued smiling expectantly until Remus opened up the envelope and looked inside.

There wasn’t a card like he was expecting, but some sort of advertisement, or pamphlet. He read through it, and his eyebrows knitted together as he read further down the page. The ad was for a wizarding clinic, specifically aimed at trans wizards and witches. It was set up by a guy named Gray Jacobson, who was a trained Healer, and trans himself, and offered all different kinds of things, including top surgery.

“I... don’t get it?” Said Remus eventually, pushing down any hope that was making its way up through his body.

“What’s not to get?” Exclaimed Sirius, no longer containing his excitement. “It’s a secret clinic, away from the ministry and St Mungos and shit, and surgery is affordable. Free even, if you really can’t pay. But don’t worry about that, because we all chipped in-” he was talking a mile a minute.

“Woah, woah, slow down, Padfoot,” interrupted Remus. ““How do you know this clinic is trustworthy.”

“If we didn’t think it was trustworthy, mate, we wouldn’t have shown it to you,” said James. “We’ve been researching it for months, Sirius and I even visited it last half term. The guy, Gray, is really nice. He told us all about it. He can tell you as well. The procedure for getting rid of your chest is so easy. Takes a few minutes, then you have to take a potion every night for a week until you’re all healed up. But then it’s done! No more chest!”

“No more binding!” Grinned Sirius. No more chest. No more binding. God it sounded brilliant. Too good to be true.

“Really?” Was all Remus could manage.

~ Half term was already upon them, so Remus and his friends were able to visit the clinic the next day. And James and Sirius had been right, Gray was very nice. And Remus loved meeting someone else like him. He’d never met another trans man before, and Gray gave him hope for his future. The man seemed happy, content. Remus wanted that.

It didn’t take long for Remus to view the place as perfectly legit, even with his usual paranoid, distrusting self. And according to Gray, the spell really did only take a few minutes, even if he did have to be placed under a sleeping charm while it happened, and he wouldn’t be able to see his chest until a week later. That didn’t bother him at all. What was a week after six years of waiting?

He booked the next appointment for the following Monday, and he really couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this excited. When he left the clinic, Sirius immediately hugged him, and James joined in, until Remus couldn’t even move under their combined weight.

~ The day of the appointment, Remus was nervous. Excited, but nervous. His friends had all agreed that it would be a little overwhelming if they all came with him, so it was decided that Sirius was to be the one to accompany Remus. He was Remus’s boyfriend after all, and besides, wild centaurs couldn’t stop Sirius from being there to support his best friend.

Remus didn’t know what to wear, and he couldn’t help but feel very self conscious at exposing his chest, even for a few minutes. But it was the price he had to pay, and he chose a button up shirt and jeans. Nothing special.

“Here’s the sleeping potion,” said Gray, handing Remus a bottle of silvery liquid. “You’ll be asleep in a matter of minutes, and then awake in another matter of minutes. The only difference is, when you wake up, there’ll sure be a huge weight off your chest.” Sirius snorted from behind the man, and even Remus grinned at the stupid joke. It was definitely something his friends would say.

They were in the clinic now; they’d arrived around twenty minutes ago, and hadn’t needed to wait that long. Sirius held Remus’s hand the entire time, though he seemed to be more nervous than Remus was. Remus was nervous, but the nearer the surgery came to actually happening, the more impatient he felt. He wanted this to be over with, so he could finally feel like himself.

Remus uncapped the potion and drunk it down in one, and within seconds he started to feel light headed and drowsy. Gray helped him to lie back on the bed that he was sitting on, and the last thing he saw before falling asleep was Sirius giving him a very cheesy double thumbs up.

Somehow, within only a few minutes, his brain managed to conjure up what felt like hours of dreaming, although it was so nonsensical that Remus couldn’t make heads nor tails off it, and by the time he’d woken up, he couldn’t remember anything.

It took him some time to come round properly, drowsy as he was, but when the fog from his head finally cleared, he immediately looked down at his chest.

It was wrapped up in bandages, but one thing was certain: his chest was flat.

He ran his hand across the bandages. Yup. Absolutely flat. He almost started crying right then and there.

“Hello, love,” greeted Sirius, seeing that Remus was now awake. Remus stared up at him.

“It’s flat,” he croaked. Sirius grinned.

“It sure is.” Gray walked over to them. He’d been tinkering around with some vials, and he handed one to Remus.

“Take a sip of this every night for a week, it will help your chest to heal fully. Then you can remove the bandages. And if you need anything else, any help, or you have any questions, you know where I am.”

“Thank you.” Remus hoped the man could see just how grateful he was, as he was unable to form full sentences for the moment, the affects of the sleeping potion still lingering. But Gray let him and Sirius go on their way, and like last time with James, Sirius waited until they were out of the clinic, this time using the floo network in the clinic’s fireplace to take them home to their tiny apartment, to throw his arms around Remus. This was it for Remus, and he couldn’t stop himself from breaking down in tears. Good tear of course. Happy tears. If this was what he was like now, he’d be a wreck after a week.

And if Remus was impatient before, he certainly was now. Sirius had to constantly stop him from trying to unwind his bandages early.

“Keep doing that and I will personally pin you to the ground,” Sirius warned.

“Is that a threat or a promise?”

“In this instance it is solely a threat.”

“Fine.”

After what felt like years, the week was finally drawing to a close. And James, Lily and Peter arrived to see the big reveal. It was an audience that made Remus feel a little self conscious, but a part of him didn’t want them to miss this.

They were all crammed into the bathroom, the only place in the apartment that had a mirror. Rather than cutting off the bandages with magic, immediately revealing his chest, he opted for unwinding them by hand. His nervousness had returned to replace his impatience and he wanted to take it slowly.

As the last bandages fell away, he started into the mirror, and his friends cheered beside him. His chest was completely flat, and it looked exactly how he wanted it to look. It was a chest that could be shown off. A chest he could take a shirt off of and go swimming with. Finally. He never had to wear his binder again. He’d never smiled this much in his life, and it only faltered as he tried not to once again start crying. He failed. Sirius went over to kiss him, and soon all his friends were hugging him.

And the first thing he did when half term ended and lessons at Hogwarts were let out for lunchtime, was take his shirt off, and go swimming in the lake with his friends.

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