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anticipatecrime · 9 months

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𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚙 |𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚡 𝚏𝚎𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚗 𝚋𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚘𝚌

authors note: you’ll notice i changed the timing of things, but i had to for it to work for the story. summary: they have a crush on one of their best friends, spider, what happens when they see spider with some chick at the festival, they spend time awkwardly avoiding him, until the party. as they run away from the cops, they hurt their ankle, and spider takes care of them. words: 4.7k

“fuck my life” rowan groaned, aggressively rolling over and pulling the blanket over their face to shield them from the sun entering through the windows.

“ow what the hell” ant grumbled, rubbing his head after they had hit it by accident. he yawned, stretched out, before looking at his alarm clock. “it’s 8:10, rowan. we have to get up or we’ll be late for school.”

“wow okay mr responsible, since when do you care about being on time?” they joked, knowing how rebellious ant has been in the past few weeks.

“hey, i’m responsible” he throws back, before getting up and pulling the comforter off the bed, leaving rowan curled around pillows. as he starts to get ready, changing into cleaner clothes, they finally start to wake themself up.

“honestly, i don’t feel like going in today” rowan shrugs watching as he puts on a sweatshirt. “i really don’t want to see spider..”

ant turns around, and slouches dramatically. “dude, no way you’re going to skip school just because spider slept with some whore at the festival. and you know what? it probably meant absolutely nothing” he said comfortingly.

“i just don’t get it, one minute he’s super sweet and holding my drink so it doesn’t get spiked, then he’s pashing some slut who has her tits out.” rowan calms, feeling disappointed in themself for letting a guy get to them. they’ve never felt like this before, in all honesty it’s typically the opposite way around.

rowan’s definitely gotten around, but to be fair it’s hard not to when you go to hartley high. i mean they’ve even slept with their own bestfriend, who happens to be right infront of them. they both agreed it didn’t mean anything, and was just some fun, but it did make them closer.

“i think you should forget about it, okay? he’s literally an idiot, and that’s coming from me”

“but you’re also an idiot.” rowan chuckles, pulling on some black baggy jeans. they look around, and start pulling out stuff from their bag. “fuck i didn’t bring an extra shirt, can i borrow one?”

“uh of course??” ant draws out his words to make it more dramatic. he digs around in his closet, looking for one that rowan’s worn before. “hows this?” he asks, holding up the one with a sunflower and bee on it.

“absolutely perfect!” rowan puts on the shirt, and huffs, grabbing their bag, and digging out the side pocket for their car keys. “are we stopping for breakfast orrrr?”

“i think my moms made pancakes?” he says in a questioning tone, opening his bedroom door and smelling the hallway. “yes, yes she has.” he laughs.

____

“god your mom makes the best pancakes” rowan starts moaning, causing ant to laugh which therefore makes her laugh.

“god save it for the sex you’re going to have this term” he jokes, snickering as rowan pulls into the parking lot.

as they get out, rowan can already see spider and dusty from here. they’re having a quick chat with one of the basketball guys. they glance around the lot, also seeing darren and quinni.

quinni starts to jump up and down seeing rowan. they wave to eachother before she goes back to whispering with darren. quinni and rowan had been friends for a few years, meeting at the extra help room in middle school.

they’ve always had problems with adhd and focusing, making it hard to be in a class with loud and disruptive classmates. unfortunately in highschool, they just have to suck it up and wear headphones most days.

“you got this” ant whispers in their ear, while holding onto their arm as normal. ant is big into physical touch which means he’s constantly holding rowan.

“hey guys!” he calls out, earning grins from the guys.

“hey rowan! see you at ants tomorrow night?” dusty asks, curiously wondering if they would be there to play video games.

“oh hell yeah, i still have to kick your ass!” they giggle.

“oh? is that ant’s shirt?” he points out, giving you a face. spider finally snapped out of his staring at the ground. his eyebrow raised, as he inspected their outfit. “are you sure you aren’t sleeping together?” dusty wonders outloud.

“n- we are” ant shakes his head as he speaks, throwing his arms up like he’s been caught.

spiders eyes widen. “what? really?”

“no idiot. we’re friends. i love this fucker but i’d never sleep with him a second time” now that confession makes his eyes widen even more. he quickly shakes his head, and calms himself.

“wow, knew you were a slut, but your best friend? damnn” spider snickers, before realizing that sounded less like a joke and more like an incredibly rude insult.

ant’s jaw drops, and dusty looks like he’s unsure whether or not to laugh.

“well aren’t you sweet.” rowan says scoffing, before adjusting her backpack and walking off, towards quinni and darren.

“bro, that is totally not how you get rowan to like you.” dusty slaps the back of spiders head out of disappointment.

“no really, that is not cool, even for you.” ant says, rolling his eyes.

“i didn’t mean to.” the blonde shrugged, “thought it was a funny joke.”

“don’t lie, you’re just jealous.” ant walks off in rowans direction.

all of a sudden, his thoughts are interrupted by a younger student. “OI! there’s a fully-gacked sex map in the old stairwell!!”

“what?”

“sex map?”

all of a sudden, everyone is rushing towards the stairwell, completely disregarding that class was starting in a few minutes. spider finds himself running at a quicker speed then most.

all he can hear is screaming, heavy footsteps and panting as other people find their way to the map. “oh shit” he lets out, his eyes wandering to his own name first. quinni, saska and suzie cho. two of those weren’t true, he had made those up to his mates almost 7 months ago, and suzie cho was only a blowie. he groaned internally now knowing that they would know that he was lying.

“what in the kids helpline?” darren looks bewildered.

“no!!”

“a wristy!”

“everyone whos fucked everyone”

“couldn’t walk for three days, that’s true” spider laughs, watching as ant dabs up dusty.

“cum queen!”

“jenny got fisted, holy shit” spiders eyes wander more and more.

“oh shit, darren jerked you off? nice bro, you into dudes now? spider questions.

rowan turns in his direction, and pushes back spider a bit, feeling offended for darren. “who says i’m a dude?” “why didn’t you tell us?”

he laughs it off, then faltering. he sees rowan in black sparkly letters, then he notices the lines connecting to their name, all of the lines.

sasha, zoe clarke, nathan white, ant, cash, tilly, and suzie cho. wait, he bent down to look at the small writing under their name. and two private school boys.

he felt a turn in his stomach, having to clutch it. something about knowing everyone they’ve had sex with, hurt him. he saw them go closer to the wall, finger running against the lines of the people connected to them. “what the fuck” rowan let out, before then standing on a stool that they dragged out from the corner.

“this is not true!” they shout, pointing at the line connecting them to cash. they grabbed a marker from their backpack and drew over it. cash and rowan were in a hidden relationship for around 5 months but things just weren’t working out, tons of communication issues. rowan still loved him, platonically, almost like a brother in a way.

after drawing over the line, rowan steps back, walking into spider on accident. they take a deep breath, and suddenly in seconds, there’s tears welling in their eyes. “guess you’re right. i’m just a slut”

____

“can the following students please meet at classroom 5D. Amerie Wadia, Harper McLean, Sasha So, Missy Beckett, Dustin Reid, Spencer White, Anthony Vaughn and Rowan Yearwood, Darren Rivers, Quinn Gallagher-John, Douglas Piggott, Malakai Mitchell.”

“welcome, welcome” rowan walks by the principal entering the class. there’s multiple tables scattered around the room, and suddenly they see ant waving them over.

“what the fuck is this” rowan questions, seeing everyone come in and sit down.

“punishment probably” dusty shrugs.

“map bitch!” spider shouts towards amerie.

“so.. cemetery tonight?” rowan asks, looking towards the guys.

“yeah boy”

“hell yeah”

“oi, uh whats the cemetery?” darren asks.

“well it’s-”

“none ya biz, bongwater.” spider spits, looking them up and down.

“it’s just a party thing.” they clarified, sending a gentle smile towards darren, before ignoring spider.

“okay, settle down. thank you.” ms woodsy’s attempt to silence everyone wasn’t working very well.

the woman standing at the front takes a deep breath. “hi, everyone. i’m miss joesphine obah, but you can call me jojo. it’s kind of like yo-yo but j.” she chuckled, before clearing her throat. “i’m an english teacher, so i know some of you.” she nodded in rowan’s direction.

“but i’m sure you’re all wondering why you’re here.. well your names were on the map in the stairwell. the one that’s out of bounds.”

a boy up front sitting next to amerie raises his hand out of confusion. and finally rowan begins to question who he is. they whisper in ants direction, asking if he’s seen him before.

“uhm, what map?” the new kid asks.

“okay, very funny, look peeps, we’re not dumb. we know a lot of you are sexually active, but we’re concerned this map demonstrates a real lack of respect for one another when it comes to sexual relationships. so we want to address it head on..”

the new teacher, miss josephine went on about the new class and how it aims to give the students information about sex and intimacy. rowan wasn’t paying much attention, they were looking at spider, still upset about the comment he made to them earlier. how could he say something like that? did he really think it was some funny joke?

he then stood ontop of the table and started chanting “sluts, sluts, sluts” thrusting himself near ant.

“oh brother.” rowan shook their head, and started focusing on the teachers again.

“i think we should do the handshake game.”

“that’s not the best one to start with”

“all right everybody.. up!” woodsy shouted. “okay now clear these tables to the side please. thank you, now i want you all to start walking around the room. come onn, walking!!”

rowan started walking, listening to everyones chatter. “now i want you to choose three other people to start shaking hands with.. shaking, shake, good, you know how to shake.”

rowan first shook hands with ant, it sort of became a bro hug, then they walked past dusty, making sure to give a good shake with him too. spider came around them and held his hand out with a gentle smile, almost as a way to apologize.

rowan scoffed, and shook hands with quinni.

“and, stop.” everyone stood straight up, and still. “spencer, you have genital crabs.” people started laughing at that.

“checks out.” darren shrugged. “yeah i’m not surprised, he is a bit of a slut” rowan added on avoiding spiders eyes. more laughter.

“not in real life, thank you darren and rowan for the purposes of this game.” “put your hand up spencer, hand up, spencer, now!” “now everyone that shook hands with spencer, hands up.”

dusty, and ants hands raised up high. “now, shook hands with them.” rowans hand went up too, followed by more people, then more. “you all have genital warts.”

rowan snickered, as malakai spoke. “i thought it was crabs.”

a little while later, the bell rung and rowan went to go sit on the rocks near the edge of the school, eating their lunch that ant’s mom had made for them. veggies, fruit, and a sandwich. cash came by and they talked a bit, about the map, until it got a bit serious.

“i did something really bad.” he admits, grimacing already.

“what did chook make you do.” were the first words out of rowans mouth.

“okay-well, i technically didn’t do anything myself, but that’s the problem..”

“oh god cash, just tell me.” rowan pleaded, scared for one of their best friends.

“i-i, i was driving a car.. after the festival and-d in the back, chook was groping someone.. she was so drunk and i think he drugged her.”

“holy shit.” rowans eyes widened. “is she okay now? was she underage? who was it?” they began to panic.

“...harper.” cash’s voice wavers. “i don’t know why i didn’t help sooner, all i did was unlock the car door when we were at the gas station. i tried to talk to her after slts, but she told me to fuck off. i don’t know what to do.” his eyes began to well.

rowan took a few deep breaths, before grabbing him tightly, and pulling him into a hug. “fuck man.. you need to distance yourself from them.. but i’m proud of you okay? you probably just saved that girl from being raped.” they took a second. “i’d avoid her for a bit, she could think you’re just as bad as them, maybe even scared of you.”

he nodded along. “okay, okay.”

“maybe i’ll try and talk to her.” rowan shrugs, knowing that harper could probably use some comfort, especially considering the weird girl fight happening between her and amerie.

“thank you, rowan.” cash hugs them tight, trying not to cry.

“hey, hey, it’s okay cashy.” feeling him tremble, starts to make them cry as well.

fucking spider.

spider, dusty and ant walk out of the gymnasium laughing about the basketball practice. spider had absolutely kicked ass, and the new kid was on the floor, holding his ankle.

“i knew he was shit.” spider snickered, getting a highfive from dusty.

ant checked his phone, seeing no message from rowan. they were all a bit surprised when they hadn’t shown up to watch practice, it was a normal thing they did together. “have you guys talked to rowan in the last little bit? they haven’t replied to my messages.” ant frowned.

“nope.” dusty said, popping the ‘p’. spider scratched the back of his neck.

“is she-” “sorry, are they, still upset at me? they wouldn’t shake my hand when we were in sex jail.”

“i mean what you said was pretty fucking rude.” ant glares at him. “like, jeez, glad they returned the favour and called you a slut infront of everyone.”

spider threw his hands in the air. “i’m such a fucking idiot.” with mutual agreements from the other boys. “can’t believe i fucked everything up because.. ugh.” he groaned.

“because you were jealous at the thought of me and rowan boning.” ant jokingly smirked. “but really, it meant nothing, we were just drunk and thought it would be funny.” “that was awhile ago too, we’re like practically family.”

“ew, you’d fuck your family?” dustin made fake gagging sounds.

“pfftt shut up, don’t be gross.” ant winced at him. “but like i said spider, no feelings, at. all.”

spider let out a deep breath, fully relieved. “thank fuck.” he ran his fingers through his hair. “how do i make it up to them?”

“confess your feels, bro.” dusty shrugged.

“or just be not a complete asshole to them? show you care or like actually respect them.” ant said, like it was obvious to the guy.

it wasn’t. which may be surprising to some people, to normal people. he wasn’t normal. he’s never done the whole ‘crush’ or ‘liking’ someone thing. infact he’s not really experienced in sex either. everyone thinks he’s some sex machine but in reality he’s just a virgin, whos gotten a few blowies. he tried having sex with some girl a few months ago but he couldn’t get it up. in general he just doesn’t understand vaginas. ‘stupid things’ ‘lazy kebabs’

“make it up to her at the party or something!” ant suggests, before catching a glance of rowan and cash sitting by the rocks. “i’ve found them!” he shouts, running and flailing his arms in their direction.

rowan wipes their eyes, seeing ant in the distance running towards them. “oh god.” they giggle.

the next few classes were absolutely boring and went by almost too quickly. the only thing rowan could think of was, what to wear at the cemetery.

once school had ended, as usual rowan and ant met up by their car, chatting a bit before getting in and taking off. “so, how was the rest of your day?” they asked ant, curious.

“ugh full of spider talking about you.” he yawned dramatically. “gets tiring after awhile.”

“wait really?” they question, looking to him.

“yeahh he felt really bad about earlier, said he wanted to make it up to you, he’ll probably be allllllll over you at the party.” ant said, as they pulled up to his house. he started to get out, but before he did, rowan grabbed his arm.

“okay so i’m gonna go home, get ready and i’ll come by at 9? is that all good?”

“9? party starts at 11.” ant clarifies.

“yeah but i wanna get high before we go.” rowan smiles, laughing before they push ant back out the car.

“i’m cool with that, see you then, row!” ant calls out, walking off to his house.

rowan got home, and made sure to get upstairs quickly to avoid their mother. bit of an asshole she was. after their fathers suicide, their mom was never the same, drinking, taking drugs, beating on them and their younger brother. they hadn’t seen him in awhile. he was temporarily re-homed for his safety. they had taken him to the emergency room once night after their mom had an episode.

thankfully the department of social services got involved, and he’s safe now, with a loving normal family. rowan wishes they would’ve taken them too but, something about their age made it complicated.

they foraged through their closet, trying to find something that would make them look attractive. they wanted to get some attention, hoping it would make them feel better about the spider situation. they had liked him for years, since middle school. it only made it harder when they became friends, and when they became the second bassist for the guys’ band.

pulling out a plain black tank top, and throwing it on the bed, rowan was then looking for some jewerly, planning on wearing the pants they were already in. they decided on a black choker and dangly silver earrings, along with studs for the rest of their piercings. they re-adjusted their septum, and looked at themself in the mirror. ‘hmmm jacket.. jacket..’

they grabbed a plain red sweater, and reached for their doc martens. “hell yeah” they nodded at themself, wondering if they should do any makeup.

after a few minutes, they decided on just a light red smokey eye. they were about to start on their hair, when quinni started ringing.

“hey girl, what’s up?” rowan asked.

“hiii!!” darren gently pushed quinni so they could see the phone. “woah, okay sexy. will we see you at the cemetery?”

“obviously, can’t you tell by this-” rowan cuts themself off and does a spin. “outfit.”

“you look gorgeous.” a different voice is heard, and suddenly amerie is on screen too. “i don’t think we’ve properly met.” she said.

“well, talk to me at the party, and we can.” rowan smiled, before looking at the time. “i gotta get going guys but i’ll talk later.”

and just like that, rowan was on their way to ants.

____

“fuckk, this is some good shit.” rowan says, while breathing out smoke, from the joint between their fingers, while watching the road.

ant took over driving while rowan decided to get high before the little get together. “you look really cool.” he said, looking over to them.

“thanks! i tried a new makeup look.” rowan smiled. “i’m so excited, can’t wait to get fucked up.”

“me too, however i am missing the responsible you. don’t let the spider thing get to you okay?” ant nodded.

“i’m trying not to, i feel a lot better now then before.”

“good. also i heard dusty saying to park the cars by his house so it doesn’t look suspicious to the cops.”

“ohh yeah, good idea.” rowan agreed, and watched as ant pulled into dustys driveway. “its like a 10 minute walk right?”

“yeah about i think.”

rowan groaned as they began walking, feeling the tiniest bit dizzy. “told you, you shouldn’t of smoked!” ant laughed, watching them walk.

“whatever.” rowan kept going, walking up the hill, before seeing the firepit. there was only like 6 or so people there so far. spider, dusty, malakai and some strangers they didn’t know.

“hey!” spider called out, seeing rowan. he quickly grabbed an extra beer and popped it open, before passing it over to them.

“oh, thanks.” they replied, nodding along to the music awkwardly. dusty walked up to them and checked them out.

“you look nice.” dustin said, touching their shoulder.

“yeah.” spider agreed, nodding along, as dusty went back to ant. it was silent for a few minutes. “so-”

“i’m sorry.” he blurted out, rubbing the back of his neck. “i want you to know that what i said was really dumb and i didn’t mean it. you’re really cool and i have no place to judge your sex life.”

“wow, spider apologizing?” rowan jokes. “i appreciate it though, thanks spencer.” his heart immediately softens at his name, his real name. it sounds like the most amazing thing ever hearing his name out of their mouth.

he watches as their eyes flicker, before they lean in and give him a side hug. ‘holy fucking shit’ he thinks to himself, putting his arm around them.

“well.” they smiled, before seeing other people begin to arrive. “thanks for the beer, i’ll see you around, yeah?”

“yeah.. yeah i’d like that.” he watches rowan walk away, and suddenly two bodies are next to him, patting his back.

“oooo, rowan and spider sitting in a tree-” dustin starts.

“fuck off.” spider shrugs him off and gives him the finger, before laughing and going back to talking with other people.

soon, the group gets bigger and the music is louder, people are dancing and it’s like an actual party. rowan sees cash out of the corner of their eye. “hey!” they smile, giving him a friendly hug, before whispering in his ear. “you got anything?”

“obviously.” he rolls his eyes, pulls out a small tin and passes it over to rowan. they open it and take a few edibles. “so, hows the spider thing going?”

“hmm it’s better.” they shrugged. “he gave me an actual apology and we hugged.”

“he apologized to you? holy, what have you done to spider.” cash snickers. rowan takes his hand and sits on the hill with him.

“you think he could like me back?”

“you’re joking right. it feels like it’s obvious.” rowan looks surprised. “he’s always looking at you during classes, and he’s so friendly to you.” rowan thinks for a moment.

“there’s no way, he’s literally an asshole to me half the time.”

“because he likes you!” cash exclaims, fed up with having to explain it over and over.

“but-”

“rowan!! stop talking to mr eshay, and come have fun!!” rowan gave a smile that looked more like a grimace to say ‘sorry’. suddenly they were being pulled away by ant, and dragged onto the dance floor.

“woo!” they exclaimed, dancing their heart out. “this is awesome!” the music was loud, and it just took control of them, everything was floating away. they slowly turned the other way to dance into more people, seeing quinni and darren.

“hell yeah! how you guys liking the party?” rowan asked, before they started jumping up and down to the beat of the music.

“it’s sick!” darren says, grooving.

“very loud.. but i confronted spider about my lazy kebab flaps!” quinni grinned, making rowan chuckle.

“awesome!” the sky got darker, and eventually it was only the city lights and buildings keeping the party a lit.

it felt like seconds, but in reality it was minutes of dancing, minutes of thrashing around, hair whipping, and bouncing, and soon rowan began getting tired, and the effects of the alcohol really started hitting. the dance moves got sloppy, and rowan, dizzy.

they felt a hand on their waist, almost as support. “aaa helpp” they slurred, pushing off the hand not knowing who it was. they felt the person get closer, and felt something by their ear.

“rowan”

spider.

“rowan, hey it’s me, i think it’s time to get you home.” he said softly, very gently attempting to drag them away from the dance floor.

“nooo, dancing..” they mumbled

“rowan, hey, you can barely stand, okay? if you don’t want to go home, atleast drink some water.” he handed them a plastic water bottle.

“need. need to sit down.” they said, before dramatically plopping onto the ground in the middle of the dance floor, people surrounding them with dance. it was almost like they were the only two present.

he snickered at them. “too much to drink?”

“maybe..” they leaned onto him for support, clinging to his orange overshirt, for warmth.

“you cold?” rowan nodded to the question. “i know it’s not much but here.” he passes over the shirt before realizing they can’t do it themself. he moves positions to help put it on for them. “there.” he smiles.

“spence.. i..” they, and everyone else at the party was cut off by police sirens in the distance, and quickly there was cars pulling up.

“cops! cops!” ant shouted.

“oh fuck.” they screamed, holding onto spider as he got up.

“a bit shit that we’re littering.” sasha squeaks.

everyone split up except for spencer, rowan, ant, dusty, sasha and harper.

“fuck, fuck, fuck.” rowan muttered, running as fast as possible.

“oi get back here!”

they ran towards a large gate. it was triple the height of any of them, spider was about to jump but looked towards rowan. he got down, and grabbed their waist, suspending them over the gate. of course being incredibly drunk, they don’t stick their landing and they end up fucking their ankle up.

they swore out of pain and started limping, spider threw himself over the gate and held rowan up. “i’m so sorry, are you okay?” he asks, holding their head.

“little ouchie, my ankles fucked, you should run, i can hide behind a bush or something.” they suggested.

“what, fuck no.” spider scoffed, before pausing to think. “can i carry you?” he asked, looking into their eyes.

“get back here!” a cop shouted, getting closer to the gate.

“yes, yes, hurry!” they shrieked. and soon enough they were in spiders arms, as he ran. it was a wild feeling, being held by him like this, being held so tightly.

“thank you spider.” they spoke, muffled into his chest as he ran.

“don’t worry about it ro.” he smiled, it was crazy, feeling them curl up in his arms.

“fuck!” they heard a cop shout, stuck behind the gate.

after about 10 minutes, he had stopped sprinting, and was now carrying them back to his place, knowing how far theirs were. “you okay?” he wondered.

“mhms.”

he gushed at them, they were so cute.

once he got to his house, he quietly rushed upstairs, hiding them from anyone in the house. he set them on his bed. “i’ll make a bed on the floor, you stay comfy up there, alright?”

“noo, please stay with me.” they beg, pouting. “don’t wanna be alone.”

spider sighs, shuffling into the bed and putting an arm around them. he watched as they fell asleep, cuddling into his chest. “god, i love you.” he mumbled, pulling them closer.

“m love you too.” they mumble back.

#heartbreak high #heartbreak #spider #spencer white #spencer white heartbreak high #oc #harpermclean #ameriewadia #darrenrivers #douglaspiggot #cash #anthonyvaughn #dustinreid #highschool #anticipatecrime

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forbidding-souda · 2 years

Note

nagito, hajime, and izuru with a shsl florist s/o

nagito komaeda, hajime hinata, and izuru kamukura with a shsl florist s/o

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here ya go! this one is pretty long, i got carried away writing for these three, they're just my absolute faves

i liked writing this, flowers and flower/color language are honestly one of my favorite things to look into! it's always really interesting and i would highly recommend looking into it as well

[ fun fact about color language: henry the eighth and anne boleyn wore yellow to catherine of aragon's funeral. it looks like a sign of respect to her, since yellow is the color that symbolizes grief and mourning in catherine's home country of spain, right? but, to most people now and back then in europe, yellow is considered a happy, bright color. so they were not-so-secretly dissing her, poor coa ]

- mod fuyuhiko

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

🍀 – nagito adores your love for flowers. even outside of him admiring you for being an ultimate, he finds something oddly soothing seeing you take care of such delicate, beautiful things.

🍀 – when you first became close, even had you started dating, he would refuse to be in the same room while you were taking care of your flowers; he was wholly convinced that him even being near you while you were working would cause some great disaster to happen.

🍀 – "ah.. the invitation to watch you work is always appreciated, my hope! while someone as below you as myself shouldn't have the right to deny you, i wouldn't want my luck to inconvenience you."

🍀 – it took a lot of convincing on your part.

🍀 – "no, nagito, a flower pot won't suddenly fall on my head."

"no, nagito, a flower won't wilt and die as soon as you step into the room."

"no, nagito, a flower won't grow into a giant carnivorous plant because of you. that's scientifically impossible."

🍀 – when you did manage to get him into your flower nursery, he was entirely in awe from how colorful it was. all of the flowers, sprouts, and buds were thriving and healthy. suddenly, nagito was more upset by the fact that he refused you for so long.

🍀 – you'd often ask for his help, with small things that he deemed simple enough not to mess up. whether it be grabbing something from a high shelf so you didn't have to get a step ladder, grabbing the sprouts that were in plastic containers for you so that you could transfer them into flower pots, things like that.

🍀 – once, you offhandedly told nagito that both flowers and people benefitted from talking to the plants. some things about carbon dioxide, improving mental health; nagito doesn't remember the exact details. he did keep it in mind though.

🍀 – you'd asked him to water the flowers while you went to go get new fluorescent lamps. it didn't take you long to return back to your greenhouse with five lamps in your arms, pushing the door open with your hip.

when you did, you saw komaeda crouched down next to the table that the sunflower sprouts were on. from what you could see, he has a fond smile on his face as he watered them. one, two, three, four, five seconds for each sprout; just as you'd told him. it made you smile a bit as well, seeing him so serene.

"you're so lucky to be taken care of by such a wonderful person." he hummed to the baby sunflowers. nagito didn't even notice you standing there, cheeks flushing as you watched him gush to the sprouts fondly.

"i'd pray to all the stars in the sky that they'd care for me as tenderly as they do you." nagito said, "it would be an honor for such a kind, gentle ultimate to treat me in such a way."

"i could."

he jumped, clutching the handle of the watering can as he twisted to stare at you like a deer in headlights. the way his cheeks flushed red was adorable as he exclaimed your name in a sheepish tone. "disregard what you heard, someone as worthless as me doesn't deserve to speak about you in such a way! please forgive me!" he rambled with an apologetic bow. it only made you smile wider as you strolled to stand at the other side of the table, letting the door to your lab close.

"it's okay, nagito. i meant what i said, though." you hummed casually, placing the lamps on the table and bending down to get the extension cord. you didn't see him blinking at you, flustered. "e-excuse me?" he asked, confusion evident in his tone. it made you giggle as you stood with the extension cord in hand. "i'd be happy to take care of you the way i do the flowers." you told him honestly, glancing at his blushing face as you plugged the fluorescent lamps into the extension cord.

nagito went to speak but you piped up again, knowing what he was going to say, "you deserve it. i love you and i'd love to treat you with the care you deserve, angel. anytime."

it made him stutter and make incoherent noises as he tried to find something to reply with, to refuse you with, but ultimately he just sighed and let a smile grow on his face.

"thank you, my clover."

🍊 – hajime enjoys your passion for your talent. watching you settle down and focus on what you're doing is somewhat interesting to him. it often leads to quiet moments between the two of you where you work under hajime's fond, adoring gaze. if you notice him staring, no you didn't, he doesn't stare. that's weird, and hajime's not weird.

🍊 – very early on in your relationship, hajime thought that all things flowers would be the best gift for you, given your talent. he'd gotten you flower themed clothes, flower plushies, flower themed jewelry, anything he laid his eyes on that was flower themed or had a flower on it. if you don't like the gifts he'll lay off, of course, but if you don't tell him to stop or tell him you like them then you'll be showered with gifts constantly.

🍊 – something that he noticed early on was how you'd look through a thick book as you were preparing people's flower arrangements. when he'd asked, simply out of curiosity, he learned that flowers had meanings. that was something that intrigued him, so hajime made you sit down with him and teach him as many flower meanings as he could remember.

🍊 – the book you taught him from, and even let him borrow, was one of your own making. each page with contents on it was laminated and written in your distinct penmanship, a pressed flower next to a description of what it meant when you wore it or gave it to someone. there were even little doodles of the different colored variants of the flowers, and what those different colors meant.

🍊 – hajime kept his own notes from your book, studying it like a textbook. he'd thought it was.. silly, to give you flowers as a gift. but he was told you would appreciate it nonetheless.

🍊 – then, there was a box. medium sided and biodegradable, left in front of the door to your greenhouse. you didn't order anything, nor did you request supplies from hope's peak. and.. there didn't seem to be a note with it, either.

you brought it inside regardless of your confusion, placing it down on your work desk. curiosity killed the cat, after all. you used a pair of garden scissors to slice the tape holding the box flaps together, putting the tool to the side as you lifted one flap and peered inside the box. the first thing you noticed were the flowers, underneath a piece of paper that looked like it was ripped from a notebook. you picked up the note first, recognizing hajime's handwriting immediately,

' hi y/n, happy six month anniversary!

natsumi pressured me into getting you something big like this. she's a very intense person, as i'm sure you know. not that i wouldn't have gotten you something nice if she didn't tell me to, but i got nervous that she would make good on her threats to castrate me.

and you're probably not thinking it, but i'll say it anyway: i know it's kind of stupid to give the ultimate florist a bouquet of flowers as an anniversary gift. i hope you enjoy the gift regardless.

don't read further until you open the gift box. '

you smiled as you placed the note on the table, picking up the small bouquet of flowers. three pink roses surrounded by pink carnations, wrapped in baby pink cotton fabric and tied together with a red ribbon. you had a feeling that he put some thought into the flowers, given that he'd taken your book and still hadn't given it back yet. it made you laugh a bit, thinking about hajime being bombarded by your class to give you something.

you softly placed the bouquet to the side, reaching inside the box to get a smaller one. it was similar to the box people place rings in, only a bit bigger and wider. the velvet was soft on the pads of your fingers as you pried it open, a soft gasp escaping you as you saw the beautiful jewelry that lay inside. a necklace, golden chain connecting to a small pink carnation charm. next to it was a golden bracelet that connected pink roses to each other.

the flowers on the jewelry were beautifully carved and colored, looking very high quality. part of you wondered how hajime was able to get these, but then you remembered that he's pretty wealthy, given that he's paying to be in the reserve course. before you could get lost in your thoughts, you remembered to grab the note again.

' assuming you opened the gift box before reading this ( if you didn't you ruined the surprise ), i hope you like the jewelry. natsumi helped me pick it out, it wasn't that expensive so i bought it with my own money. i love you, but i won't become indebted to the yakuza for an anniversary gift.

anyway, from your book and a lot of googling, i learned that pink carnations symbolize a few things. admiration, fascination, and gratitude, most prominently. those things perfectly describe how i feel about you, how i've felt about you even before we started dating.

i admire how focused and keen you are when it comes to taking care of your flowers, it's fascinating watching you work, and i'm forever thankful that you chose to date me out of anyone else at hope's peak. anyone else in the world, really.

the three roses obviously mean love. you know that, everyone knows that. i chose pink ones to match with the carnations, as well as the fact that they have a similar meaning. flower meaning based on their color is interesting, thank you for teaching it to me.

and thank you for the best six months of my life. you've made things so much more enjoyable and comfortable for me, and i hope i ( somehow ) improved your quality of life the way you have mine.

i appreciate you. i love you.

i don't want to write too much more, i'm running out of space and my pencil is getting dull. i hope you enjoyed the gift, find me when classes are over so that i can give you your book back.

happy anniversary!

( p.s, natsumi says that you better like the jewelry or else you're insulting her taste, which she will beat you up for. )

sincerely yours,

h. hinata '

🍎 – izuru was intrigued by you, for the simple fact that you managed to find solace in such a mundane task like taking care of flowers. flowers were hard to come by during the tragedy, any good things were hard to come by, but you still managed to keep and take care of such fragile life.

🍎 – he likes to think it was his ultimate luck that made him able to find you, such a simple person. you had much more patience than him, to be able to tend to plants in the same way and wait the same amount of time for them to grow every time, just to have them around. though you did use some to eat or use for medicinal purposes, most of them just sat in their pots or vases looking pretty.

🍎 – izuru inserted himself into your life, just to observe you like you were a guinea pig in a cage. why did you tend to the flowers, why that out of the many much more interesting things to do during the apocalypse? kill, steal, destroy, out of everything, why flowers?

🍎 – he didn't understand how it could just… be enough, for you. to watch life grow during such a terrible time, to keep something alive and nurture it while everyone else was focused on murder and destruction. it made sense to him, but it didn't at the same time.

🍎 – so, izuru decided to be a bit more hands-on with his observation of you. he'd stay with you and help you tend to the flowers, see what you found so much interest in. and after about a month of this, he was starting to see the appeal. not in the tending of the flowers, but with you.

🍎 – he didn't think he could experience emotions such as love, fondness, or care, but izuru was proven wrong when he spent time with you caring for the flowers. watching you water them, keep them alive, talk to them. sitting with him and letting him quiz you on flower meanings and care steps from your book, it was so.. domestic. the actions themselves were not at all particularly interesting, quite repetitive, but he was interested by the feelings they brought him.

🍎 – he'd suspected that the people who performed the surgery on him didn't do their job properly when he first noticed feelings of disgust instead of indifference before meeting you, but he didn't know they did things this inefficiently; to the point where he could say he was falling in love with you. albeit diluted, definitely not as intense as normal people, izuru could pinpoint all of the feelings you made him experience.

🍎 – you cared for him almost as kindly as you tended to the flowers. one of your favorite things to do was pick some, ones that had heartfelt meanings that almost made him flustered, to braid into his hair. it was pointless as they'd just wither and die, but it calmed you and was therapeutic for izuru, so he let you.

🍎 – the latest time, you'd braided red peonies into his hair. izuru knew you didn't take your flower choices lightly, and from memory he knew red peonies conveyed love and respect, among other things. it didn't surprise him that you chose those flowers to put in his hair, but it still made him feel nice.

you weren't awake, it was too late at night for you to be. izuru didn't sleep well, he was plagued with sleep problems and nightmares that annoyed him enough to keep him awake in an attempt to stave them off. to occupy himself this time, instead of simply watching you sleep or getting up to pace the house you two made your sanctuary, izuru sat on the edge of the bed and began taking out the braids you'd put in his hair.

it was a tedious process, given that he was moving slower than usual. izuru moved his fingers delicately to unweave the flowers from the braids, slightly smooshed but still alive, if not a bit wrinkled. he laid them on the bedside table as he took them out, simply shaking his head a bit to get used to his unbraided hair again. izuru never attempted to smooth his hair out again; that was something he left to you.

grabbing the flowers, izuru got up and spared a single glance at you before he strolled out of the room and into the kitchen.

he set the flowers on the counter, opening a drawer to grab a few things. a red ballpoint pen, scissors, tape, and the thin sheets of plastic he'd scavenged from an abandoned crafts store. returning his attention to the book, izuru flipped past the pages already filled to the first blank one.

grabbing the peonies off the counter, he ripped most of the stems off and placed the flower heads meticulously onto the book's page. then he cut one plastic sheet to the appropriate size, placing it over the flowers before closing the book on top of it. he pushed it with his hands until it was as flat as he could get it, proceeding to neatly tape the plastic sheet to the paper.

picking the pen up and clicking the point out, he began writing.

' red peonies - love, respect, honor, passion.

genus: paeonia.

family: paeoniaceae.

withering time: two hundred eighty-eight hours / one week and five days.

their flower choices are as predictable as always. however, they didn't do one large braid this time, opting to do smaller ones throughout my hair. it felt nice, the moment was peaceful.

i find that i have biases toward them that i cannot explain. they wear a necklace with a pink carnation on it as well as a bracelet with roses on it. seeing those simple pieces of jewelry on them makes me feel something warm in my chest.

at this point it is safe to say that they had a relationship with the previous occupant of this body, and that the scientists who performed my surgery didn't cut off all connections to past memories and emotions. expected of those without the proper talent to be able to do so properly.

despite the confusion this causes me, i never find myself particularly bored or annoyed by them or their actions, or the things they make me feel. most likely due to the existing bias, but i can say certainly that i am fond of them at this point in time.

i. kamukura '

#nagito komaeda x reader #hajime hinata x reader #x reader #izuru kamukura x reader #danganronpa #danganronpa x reader

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wolfgirlandfarmboy · 6 months

Note

I know you've been going back & forth thinking about what Jack & Nana's wedding will be like, & it got me thinking. What are weddings like in lore? Are there any specific traditions that are included in wedding ceremonies? Does it depend on the couple / ceremony? Are Jack & Nana gonna have their own specific little tradition(s) in their wedding?

A traditional wedding in Lore is themed after the Sun and the Moon as they are the gods. Each race (human, Lupine, Fairy, etc.) might have their own specific version of how this wedding is gone about with the human one being the closest to the ones various people have on Earth.

The Sun and Moon are known as the Celestial Deities as well as the symbol of a perfect union. Whenever there are a romantic partners, people are typically designated as the "Sun" of the relationship while others are designated as the "Moon". This could be viewed as a sort of hyper simplified zodiac sign reading when it comes to personalities and aren't limited to just romance. Everyone in Lore is basically sun or moon coded.

It's important to state that not every sun is male and not every moon is female. Traditional Lore weddings don't focus on gender, only which Celestial Deity the soon-to-be-newlyweds embody the most.

In the Red Beans case, Jack is the sun aka "Sunflower" while Nana aka "Moonlight".

This designation of who is the Sun and who is the Moon in the relationship is important because it determines who wears what at the wedding ceremony. Traditional Lore wedding clothing is based of and the Sun and Moon. In my head, I always view the sun partner wearing more warm colored and shiny wardrobe and some gold to symbolize the shine of the Sun and the moon partner to wear cooler tints and have more drapey fabric that flows around them to symbolize the chill and mysterious vibes of the Moon.

Regardless of what type of wedding one goes to, it typically starts near sunrise or sundown under the belief of the Sun and Moon blessing the union due to them being eye witnesses. Typically, it depends on which deity the partners worship. Those that worship the Sun may have a sunrise wedding while those that worship the Moon may have a sundown union. And if they both worship different Celestial Deities, then they will discuss to decide. Often, one partner will allow the other to have their choice as a sign of love so this part rarely ever leads to a genuine debate or fight.

A lot of the traditional wedding stuff for Lore is a work in progress but the Lupine's take on the marriage ceremony has the most meat to it (and I imagine Jack wants to go the Lupine route for Nana) SO LEMME BREAK IT DOWN:

A Lupine wedding has a circular formation where instead of an alter being at the front with the seats facing it and the aisle being between said seats, the center of the circle is the altar. The seats face the center with there being two gaps on opposite sides between the crowd. These gaps are the equivalent of the aisle with one being where the sun walks down and the other being where the moon walks down.

The moon always wears a wedding veil and the sun always carries the rings.

The second both step into the middle, they begin a dance that is basically them moving around the outer perimeter and slowly working their way towards the deeper center. This is the part of Lupine weddings that take the longest to get the hang of because of how in sync the couple has to be since the dance is meant to represent the never ending cycle of the Sun and Moon and their relationship to the other AS WELL as end right as the sun comes up or the moon rises (depending on the type of wedding it is).

Both parties have to mirror the other. At first, it starts off slow but the closer to the center the two get, the quicker the movements become until they finally meet in the middle.

Around that point, the two can finally dance as one with it all finally ending in the sun putting a ring on it, the moon being unveiled, and a kiss to officiate their union as the crowd cheers.

At the moment, this part of the wedding has little to no talking but I imagine there is a feast after the dance where the newlyweds can be as mushy as they want and share their vows and promises to each other. They typically need all the food they can get because that dance (and the stress of prepping and rehearsing for it) fuckin' wears you out to the point some honeymoons are just the couple passed the hell out and recovering now that its all over and they can relax.

#ask #lore #sun #moon

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spaceratprodigy · 4 months

Text

OC Questionnaire

Thank you for the tags @bokatan @the-lastcall 💖💕

[ Faith and Iris OC Questionnaire ]

👇🖤 Maril Fun Facts! 🖤👇

Legal Name:

💙 – "The name's Maril Highwind, daughter of Cid Highwind!"

Nickname:

💙 – "Well, I don't got an official nickname per se.. Papa Cid and everyone called me all sorts of things growing up. I think my favorite is when Papa calls me his little starlight tho."

Gender:

💙 – she/her

Orientation:

💙 – bisexual and probably somewhere on the ace spectrum

Star Sign:

💙 – "I'm not sure when my real birthday is. Papa says it was late March when he found me so we always celebrated the day he took me in." Maril taps her chin in thought. "I think that would be Aries, yeah?"

Height:

💙 – "I'm 5 foot 6 without shoes!"

Nationality:

💙 – n/a

Favorite Fruit:

💙 – Maril smiles and looks at the floor. "I've never seen one myself, but I've heard all sorts of stories about paopu fruit. They say if two people share one, their destinies become intertwined and they'll remain a part of each other's lives no matter what. Isn't that just dreamy sounding?" She twiddles her fingers while bouncing her leg. "I suppose the question was more referring to fruits I have tried, huh.. I really like citrusy things I suppose! They're pretty yummy!"

Favorite Season:

💙 – "Funnily enough, I never really thought about my favorite season until I visited Twilight Town for the first time!" A smile flashes across Maril's face, fond memories filling her mind. "Traverse Town was always kind of the same and Hollow Bastion, well.." she trails off, thinking about home. "Anyway," she moves along "summer in Twilight Town was unforgettable and really meant a lot to those I met there. For the experience alone, I think I'm a big fan of the summertime."

Favorite Flower:

💙 – hydrangea, morning glory, sunflower

Favorite Scent:

💙 – "Papa would get a good laugh out of me saying something like oil or grime, but it's true! I already love being a gummi ship mechanic and all the smells of my shop remind me of growing up and Papa Cid teaching me everything he knows!" The excitement in Maril's voice pops, her smile radiates so much warmth, it's hard not to join in. "I have a certain fondness for ink, parchment, wood, and the smell of dusty old books as well. Reminds me of my other favorite teachers! Merlin taught all my academics and we mayyy or may not have dabbled in magic." She winks. "Geppetto taught me how to read blueprints and design gummi ships!" Maril puckers her lips and looks away in thought. "My newest favorite scent, gosh, it has to be all of the delicious food cooking around Twilight Town! I've never smelled anything so good in my life!"

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate:

💙 – "Hot Cocoa!"

Average Hours of Sleep:

💙 – "Papa always said I needed my full 8 hours! But.." she taps her fingers "sometimes nowadays I stay up a lil later than I should. I just get so excited to work on projects!"

Dog or Cat Person:

💙 – "Both are super cute! If I had to choose one, I think I'd have to go with dogs? Between you and me.." she leans in close "I think a crow would be a wicked cool animal friend to have!"

Dream Trip:

💙 – "I kind of miss Traverse Town, but I doubt I'll ever be able to visit it again outside of my dreams. I love helping Papa and everyone rebuild Hollow Bastion tho, I know how much their home means to them and how important it is for them to be back. Aerith told me it was once called Radiant Garden, and gosh, it sounds like it was so beautiful in her stories. I can go on and on about all my favorite worlds that I'd like to visit again. Twilight Town, 100 Acre Wood, The Grid–" Maril caught her breath and a wave of sadness glazed over her eyes. She blinks hard a couple times. "I've heard stories about other places I'd like to visit as well.. Tink keeps telling me about her home world, Pixie Hollow she says it's called! I think that's where we'll go next!"

Favorite Fictional Character:

💙 – "Technically speaking I did meet Pooh Bear in that old book of Merlin's, so I think Pooh would count as a storybook character?" Maril thinks hard about the cast of characters she's met in her life and the complicated nature of some of their existences and meetings. "I have.. I have another answer.." her voice softens in a way rarely heard by others. "It's.. I don't know.. I suppose there's some debate about how real some others consider him.. but.. Tron.. my dear friend, Tron.."

Number of Blankets They Sleep With:

💙 – "Oh golly, at least 2 or 3 usually I would say! I love being warm and cozy!"

Random Fact:

💙 – Maril fell in love with gummi ships growing up, all thanks to Cid! It became her dream to be the best gummi ship mechanic across the stars. Besides learning from Cid and Geppetto, she also became Chip and Dale's apprentice when she first sets off from home. As the story progresses, she helps make advancements in other gummi tech beyond the gummi phone. Kind of related but I won't get fully into it now: when she finds out what CLU did in The Grid and is forced to face Rinzler, she becomes very devoted to attempting to save him and fix his code.

open tag to anyone who wants to jump in!

#slowly but surely chipping away at some of these tag games when I can #fatigue is still hitting me really bad so I'm just trying to rest as much as I can when I can bc can't do much else #maril highwind #(this one got a lil long bc I thought it would be fun to let Maril answer most of the questions herself 💙)

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forestgoblinvibes · 1 year

Text

CHAPTER THREE: CONTROL IT

A/N: here we go! I can’t believe it, this story has been getting so much love!!. And bare with me, this is my interpretation of the 141 characters. So for some they might be out of character but for me it’s how they are.

WARNING: This chapter includes fighting, cursing, death, mentions of betrayal and murder.

Arriving at the training room you were meet with the all to familiar smell of sweat, metal and stale air. But also unfamiliar scents of your new team members and other soldiers. Being a shifter left your nose able to distinguish different smells. Though it could be unfocused and overwhelmed if you didn’t have something to pinpoint.

Dennis skipped confidently to the center ring where Soap was already waiting with the rest of 141 and getting his hands wrapped by gaz.

You following behind her, glancing to everyone in the room. Change, you dislike it. Having to get used to new surroundings, a new territory. It left you untrusting of those around you.

Your attention was to the different scents and trying to distinguish who’s was who. Soap, smelt like honey and gunpowder, he was the first you pinpointed upon meeting from how sweet it was.

Then price, cigars, sawdust and a slight tinge of copper. His was prominent from the day they rescued you. Always lingered in whatever room he’d been in and in a way it was comforting.

“Kitty! Are ya’ listening?” Your attention is yanked back to Dennis, Sunflowers, campfires and the ocean, peaceful despite hers and you job.

Dennis was standing in front of you, arms crossed and giving you a concerned look. You zoned out a lot some times, normally when tense. But it had been happening more often after the failed mission. After losing your team.

But you just smile to her and nod, no need to darken her own light. No, she still carried her brightness, a flame that infected everything around it, that bright warmth and life.

Your flame, when not controlled as the exact opposite. It’s happened before. So all you need to do it control it.

“Sorry bug, just getting used to the smells..you stink” you said and offered her a gentle shove.

“Mhm, well I was asking for you to help wrap my hands” she said while holding the white wrapping to you. Which you take with a nod and follow her to the sparring area.

“So, what’s your game plan bug? Tire him out? Or want me to call out openings? Show ‘em how we work together?” You spoke quietly while carefully wrapping her hand. Being sure her knuckles were well protected.

“Both, I say. Give them something interesting” she smirked while looking at the rest of 141. Gaz and Soap were talking, probably about soaps own game plan. Ghost stood nearby in a corner, watching through hooded blonde lashes. And price stood by, seemingly ready to call out the wins.

“Sounds good to me. I’ll call out what I see” You nod and squeeze her hand with a smile before she walks to the center of the ring, and you walked off to the side.

“Ready to lose Suds?” She called out as Soap walked over and laughed.

“Show me what ya got lass” he said while raising his arms

“We need a way to communicate with you while your shifted. How do you normally communicate with say..family?” It was nova. Another training day of trying to get the team to work fluidly together and see who excelled in what.

You were sat with the rest of the team, Lana, Dennis and a few recruits who were just observing for now.

“Growling, roars, chuffs or chirps. It all depends on the animal. Also body language Sir, how my ears are pointed, to how my tail flicks. It’s all there if you know how to listen..Sir” you half mumbled. Growing increasingly more frustrated with this training.

Trying to get the rest of your team, all humans. To understand you, to understand what growl or chirp meant a warning or you were agreeing. Or how a series of chirps meant a team member was injured.

But Nova, for a captain he was kind and patient. Took your frustration with a grain of salt, being as you were the odd one out.

“Alright, so say you come across an injured member while a panther. You can’t use your communication device and someone else is close but you need to get their attention. What will you do” he gave the hypothetical and you took a moment to think about it. How to sound urgent.

Then you let out a short but loud growl. It did sound urgent, and for being in your human shape, it sounded completely animalistic, making the recruits jump in surprise. Nova nods and grins.

“Sounds good! Now we are getting somewhere. Let’s continue” and from there you all continued to practice and learn. Dennis was the first to pick up on the new communication and eventually you both could communicate almost fluidly in your on way.

Soap and Dennis circled each other slowly, both eyeing each other and waiting for the other to make the first move.

Dennis was the one to move, launching forward and swinging for Soap’s rib cage though he blocked the move and used her momentum to trip her. Causing her to land on her butt, but she quickly stood up and huffed.

And you watched like a hawk, eyes still feline and ears still pointed. It drew Gaz over who was curious about you and shifters in general.

Dennis glanced to you before making her next move, kicking at his legs faster then he could react. Making Soap take several steps back.

You tilt your head and let out a growlish chirp while rolling your left shoulder. Dennis grinned and swung for soaps left side, landing two blows to his side. Gaz stared at you in surprise.

“What was that?” He questioned, failing to hide the pure curiosity in his tone. And you glance at him, a small close lipped grin growing.

“You’ll learn” you said, eyes never leaving the sparring match. And both contestants grew more serious and hits became harder.

Dennis managed to get Soap to the ground, they both struggled for the upper hand. She hand one of his hands pinned behind his back and she started laughing as she pressed one knee to his back . But being cocking was her downfall.

Soap bucked upwards, throwing her off balance and used his own momentum to spin around and pin her in her back. Arms pinned at her side and legs trapped between his thighs. You couldn’t help but laugh the sight.

“C’mon bug! I thought you said you’d win” you teased as Soap helped her up while chuckling, her cheeks dusted a rosy pink as she glared at you.

“Your good lass, just need some practice” Soap assured while stretched and Dennis turned her attention to you.

“Oh yeah! You fight someone then! I’m out of practice” was her taunting excuse as she walked over to you and you raise your arms in surrender.

“Mhm you did good though, we can train together as well to get back on track” you offer as she leaned against you. But watching her spar made you itch for the same. You felt so cramped not being able to shift or train.

“Go on kitty, spar with someone. Get some tension out” Dennis egged on and smirked as you tensed up. She knew you well, and knew you were antsy.

“Yeah kitty, come spar” Soap taunted from in the ring and stretched. You tilt your head to the side and take a breath. By now, the team had mostly dispersed, Price and gaz were doing some light sparing on a different mat. And Ghost was going at a punching bag as if it was his worst enemy.

“Don’t call me that, Mctavish” you warned and stifled a growl. You nod to Deniss who started to wrap your hands.

“Take it easy Y/N, control it yeah?” Dennis spoke softly and squezzed your hands, she noticed the slight growth in your nails. Knew you were still pent up and frustrated from the failed mission. And knew your temper could get the best of you. It’s happened before.

“I’ll be fine bug, promise” you assured and stretched some more before stepping into the mat with Soap.

“Your not a scaredy cat are you?” The Scotsman teased lightheartedly. Making you chuckle just a bit.

“Your the one who should be scared” you taunt and move forward quickly, swinging for his left side which he tended to leave open.

Your speed took Soap by surprise, your attacks were quick and you were more agile then he was. Your movement was fluid and well feline, always ready to pounce at the next opening. And you weren’t giving him much room for his own attacks, the moment you stepped on the mat it’s like a switch was flipped.

You were an animal, tactical and in control for now at least. But control, it’s such a shaky topic, so many things can make someone lose control.

Soap took two steps back to reanalize you and your fighting style and you allowed it. Taking slow deep breaths as you watched him and flexed your muscles.

“What’s wrong Suds? Afraid to lose?” You taunt lowly there was a slight growl to your voice as you spoke.

“Never faught a shifter. Your a beast kid!” Soap spoke with a laugh. It was meant as a compliment, but it itched you the wrong way.

You moved without thinking, that familiar feeling coming back slowly.

You’ve spent the last three days in your panther from, tracking the leaders scent through the desert. The rest of your team by your side.

It was only supposed to take a day to find him, as intel said he’d be in a village. Three days have passed sense then and the only solid lead you had was his scent. You were becoming increasingly more frustrated.

And his scent was now starting to fade away, but you and your team had decided to take a break. The desert sun was high in the sky and having fur made you over heat easily.

“How are you filling kitty?” Dennis came over with some water, cupping her hand and pouring the water. Allowing you to drink what you could.

You answered her with a soft growl, thankful for the water.

“Your doin good you know, tracking him. I can’t imagine it being easy” she continued once you finished drinking. You looked back to Nova and Lana who were seemingly talking about the next course of action.

There was a breeze finally going and you growl lowly, taking a deep breath and focusing on the different scents. You wanted to finish this mission and go back to base, wash the dirt and sand from your fur.

And to your luck, you caught it! And it was strong, you stood up and snarl, alerting the rest of your team who stood ready. And within seconds you were on the move agin. Trotting through the desert on the hunt.

The scent lead you to a large campsite, a few guards stood point around it and there was a group towards the middle. One man stood out, large and barking orders. Your Target.

You were crouched down in some bushes, waiting to engage. Muscles tense and ready to leap forward.

Lana set up on a hill, she’d be the sniper. Nova and Dennis worked as a team to clear the outer guards before giving you the signal. A low pitched whistle, with the signal you lunged forward.

Your job was to subdue the gang leader and watch him. Of course you killed any guard or soldier who got in your way. The day’s frustrations being out on them.

You used your largest from for an intimidation factor, some guards avoided you all together and within a few minutes you were in front of the leader.

Alister Barkovia, well known for his hatred and treatment towards shifters. You’ve seen the files, photos. He was a terrible man who deserved death. A terrible man who you’ve spent the last three days tracking through the damn desert.

A terrible man. Who you’d kill.

Without thinking you lunged at him, he went from taunting you to screaming as your fangs ripped into his forearm. This alerted your team who had been busy clearing out the camp.

Dennis and nova were the first to reach you. Nova immediately started to shout orders.

“Fuck are you doing?! Let him go kid! Your disobeying direct orders!” He shouts gaining your attention. You growl and drop Barkovia, stepping over his whimpering form and stalking towards Nova.

You were seeing red, flashes of what the man had done and Nova wanted him alive? You weren’t thinking rationally. It felt like you were drowning in it.

“Kid, calm the hell down!” He continued to yell. Only angering you further and you lunged. Dennis stepped in front of him as your claws reached out, stopping you in your tracks but not before she received a nasty gash to her shoulder.

But Dennis being who she was remained stoic and glared at you.

“Really kitty? Your gonna be what everyone says about shifter’s? That your beasts? Who turn on their friend’s? control it kitty” she spoke softly, stepping towards you slowly.

She calmed you down, always has. She was your anchor when you needed it. You step back, growls became short breaths as you reel yourself back in.

“Control it yeah? There you go” she smiled to hide the wince as she raised a hand to brush your cheek. You notice, see that she’s hurt because of you. And then you hear the laughter.

“You think you can tame the Beast. He will betray you like the animal he is. Just a feral monster” Barkovia spoke through pain and nova was the one to knock him out before turning to you.

“Don’t let this happen agin” was Nova’s warning. He was mad understandably. You almost cost them the mission. All because you lost control.

You felt the force and then the air leaving your lungs before you could actually process what had happened as your legs were swiped from under you and you landed in your back.

Taking a moment to process everything as that suffocating feeling left your body you looked above you. Ghost stood above you with a cold gaze, standing with his arms crossed. It’s like he appeared out of nowhere, living up to his call sign.

“Always keep your guard up sergeant, never know when you’ll be ambushed” he warned gruffly and walked away.

Dennis came over with a knowing look as she helped you up but staid silent. And Soap, he seemed just as surprised but started laughing and turned his attention to Ghost.

“Steamin jesus, Lt!! Go easy on them” he laughed while following the Ghost to the fountains.

Dennis followed you as you left the mat before gently grabbing your arm and turning you to face her.

“You gonna talk about that Y/N?” she said and crossed her arms.

You sigh and shake your head, running one hand through your hair.

“Just worked up, Bugs. Is all” you made your excuse with a straight face and direct eye contact. But she of course didn’t believe it.

“I’ve seen that look before. You have to control it kitty. You know that” she said sternly but softly before both your attentions was brought to Price. He seemed to have left the training room and just returned.

“Oi muppets! Mission in four days! The next three days will be used for team building, mission debrief at 0800 tomorrow” he spoke loudly with a voice full of authority.

With that the rest of your team continue training, but Ghost made his way to you and Dennis. Even the way he walked with intimidating. Once close enough he spoke.

“I need a moment alone with your friend Dagger. Go train, that’s an order” he spoke hashly, you can practically feel the anger rolling off of him. And with a direct order Dennis slowly walked away.

“The fuck was that sergeant!? Am I gonna have to worry ‘bout you turnin’ on this team? Like a feral animal?” His words were quick and sharp. And stab to the chest.

So he did notice you slipping. But why cover for you?

“No sir, I have it controlled” you spoke stiffly, jaw clenched tightly as you stood straight.

Ghost stared at you, surveying you. Judging you. He didn’t trust you. Shit he didn’t really trust anyone but you? No not at all. Not yet at least, but he walks away after your response.

You sigh and take a deep breath. A slight growl.

All you have to do is control it.

THREE CHAPTERS IN HOLY CRAP!!! THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!

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spaghettificationandpretzels · 2 years

Text

The Reaper and The Death Angel Part 43

This chapter is so super long, the season 4 adjacent plot line should be done by chapter 44. My life is still shit but as always, chapters will be put out no matter what.

Series Masterlist

Part 42

Contains: Angst, blood, surgery, fluff, hurt/comfort, discussions of suicide marked with XXX, protective Jax, caretaker Jax, domestic violence follows the plot of 4x09 -4x10, more serious plot changes, like so many the canon is just a dead shell in the corner, nightmares, panic attacks.

7.3K Words

Comment if you want to be tagged/removed or follow #the reaper and the death angel.

Disaster strikes

"The fundraiser went over well."

Ima handed you the Charming Gazette, "wow, Oswald will have a lifetime seat if he keeps going like this. Did juice fix your servers?"

She nodded, "yep, it took a while but we're back to full speed. Have you heard from the flower people?"

You nodded, "yep, they will have the sunflowers delivered the day before and they will be able to provide the giant ones for the centrepieces. Billy has booked out the hall so you're basically all set."

She smiled, "that was a lot easier than I thought it would be."

You shook your head, "other people are the problem, wait till you get someone who wants to invite four plus ones."

"I'll just let you deal with them."

You nodded, "hell yeah, I'll make sure no one causes you problems. Have you heard anything from your parents?"

Her face fell, "they don't want anything to do with it."

You shrugged, "then they don't deserve to spend your special day with you."

"Hey Juicy, is everything alright?"

He sat down on the couch in your office, Abel walking over from his play space to show Juice his drawing "yeah, I just wanted to have some time away from it all, and you said I could stop by at anytime."

You nodded, "well, take all the time you need, I've got a post to do so just find me if you need anything."

When you returned to your office half an hour later, Juice was sitting at the tiny plastic table reading Abel one of his books. "You're really good with him."

Juice smiled, "thanks, I better get back. Thank you for letting me stay here."

You smiled, "no problem, you sure you're doing ok?"

He shrugged, "there's been a lot going on."

You sat down on the couch and patted the cushion for him to sit next to you, "you wanna tell me about it."

He took a deep breath, "I don't know what to do anymore, the time inside, Miles. Everything feels so upside down."

You nodded, "I can understand that, not to mention you had everything happen with Potter. You have every reason to be upset."

"What do I do?"

You place a hand on his shoulder, "you remember that you've made it up till now and you take it one day at a time, hell, one hour at a time. You'll be fine Juice and if you need anything at anytime, just ask."

He offered you a soft smile and left, running into Jax in the hall, "what are you doing here?"

Juice swallowed, "just looking for an update on Miles, I was hoping she might find something new."

Abel raced up to Jax when he walked into your office, "did Juice get what he was looking for?"

You shook your head, "there's nothing new on Miles, I don't think there ever will be."

Jax crossed his arms, "is something going on with him." His tone was a little harsh.

XXXXXXXXX

"He watched his friend die and had a man he didn't know threaten him with ex-communication or death from the people who are meant to love and respect him. What do you think's going on with him? I worried he's going to do something serious and then we won't have Juice anymore."

Jax huffed, "Sons don't…"

You cut him off, "Sons don't what, kill themselves? Neither do Marines and two men in my unit, my dear dear friends have blown their brains out. I spent so much time wondering if I could have done more. Until you've seen someone you care about blow their head apart with a shotgun, you don't get to talk."

XXXXXXXXXX

Jax was taken aback by your reaction, "I'm disappointed in you Jax, I thought you cared about Juice more than that."

Jax's face fell, "you're right, I didn't know you lost two people to suicide."

You huffed, "because I know how people feel about it, why would I bring up something so painful when you're so quick to dismiss what Juice is going through."

Abel picked up on your tone and wandered over, "what's wrong mummy?"

You bent down and held his little hand, "nothing sweetie, you ready to go with Daddy?"

He nodded, "ok."

Jax put a hand on your elbow, "I'm sorry y/n, it won't happen again and I'll try harder with Juice."

You nodded, "thank you, that's all I ask."

*****

Torres always makes Jax's blood run cold, "I have three dozen men coming today, they'll be here by noon, we'll back you up."

Jax rubbed his face as he walked away, "we really don't want to be starting shit with the Niners. If they are buying for Lobo, this guy is going to slaughter them. That changes the whole dynamic of the town and wipes diplomacy of the table for good."

"Maybe it's time to clean house, relationships are overrated."

They drove back to Clay's place to hold chapel, it was strange sitting around the dinner table talking about how to avoid a blood bath. "This ain't us leading the charge, it's Romeo and Luis."

Jax could feel the tension in the room, "look, if the Niners are working with Lobo, we'll get them to arrange a meet and take it from there, send this beef back to the border."

"Yeah, cause all out plans with these guys have worked out just fine."

The sarcasm was dripping from Bobby's lips, "ENOUGH, we voted it in, we play it out. You can't get behind that, turn in your Goddamn patch."

Chibs coming in from his phone call calmed the room, "the Irish, O'Shay and Roarke." Clay took the phone and walked away, leaving the others to talk.

To Clay surprise, they were all ok with the large weapons but nevertheless they wanted to come and sit down with everyone to avoid issues. What Clay didn't know is that men in suits with American accents came to visit hours before, telling them to be ok with it or they wouldn't be anything anymore.

"Set the meet, we'll be there."

*****

You could cut the air with a knife as they walked into the warehouse, the hello was fast and laced with false friendliness. Clay question about why so many people were there clearly set off alarm bells. LaRoy and the Niners were hiding something and they could tell. "We hear you're moving out of H, got a new product."

LaRoy smiled, "the carousel of progress."

"Cocaine carousel?"

LaRoy's tone got nasty, "not your business. You sell the guns and I'll sell the drugs."

Jax, on the other hand, was calm as he explained the situation, LaRoy responded with the same standoffish rebuttal. Then Torres walked in, "I ain't gonna tell you anything but I have a feeling these guys might be weighing in."

LaRoy took in the men with guns, "what is this, you set me up?"

LaRoy spat on Torres after he said something to him in Spanish, then Torres was going at him while Jax stood between them. A fight broke out and Jax used the distraction to try and talk LaRoy down "these assholes will cut off your Goddamn head, be cool and I will try to get you out of here alive."

"Lobo approached us last month, before you guys even got out. We didn't know about Galindo."

He sounded like he was telling the truth, "what did they offer?" It was the standard fair, money and power if LaRoy and the Niners jumped into bed with them, "call them, tell them you have a big buyer with an urgent need." When LaRoy said nothing, Luis sent the room cold with this blank stare, "I'm going to line up your men, I'm going to gun them done, then I'm going to drop their bodies on their mother's doorsteps."

"Let us talk to him." Jax wished he had you here, you would have been about to stop this with one hard look, "come on." Jax pulled LaRoy away and did his best to reason with the man. It was clear that LaRoy was scared of Lobo but Jax gave him a decent solution, work with the Mayans to cut in the Niners and go from there.

****

"Yeah?"

You heard Vance talk a deep breath, "Gemma and the ex-chief found Piney, what do you want us to do?"

You shook your head, "nothing right now, if Opie shows up we're going to have to jump the gun, tell everyone to be ready to debrief the guys at a moment's notice. Have Parada and Torres heard any more from Clay?"

"They're giving him Willows contact now, are you good with it being tomorrow?"

You took a deep breath, "fine, I'll make sure Abel is nowhere near the park and I'll pick a place away from civilians, make sure he gets the meeting with Clay on camera. How did it go with Pope?"

You could hear the smile in his voice, "he is perfectly willing to back this move with his muscle, but he said the Niners might be a problem."

"The Club is dealing with that now."

He huffed, "how does Sam feel about feeding you information without knowing why?"

You shrugged, "he does know why, he just can't prove this theory."

Vance gave a short laugh, "we're almost done, I'll make sure you have a direct line to Willows in case something goes wrong, you want Aden close by?"

"Please, if I get shot he needs to be in close by to keep everyone in line."

You could hear him typing on the other end, "done, we'll talk once Willows has the footage."

****

"So where's this new buyer?"

LaRoy did his best to stay calm, "waiting for my call. Do you have the blow?"

A black duffle was dropped on the hard floor, "three keys, half already cut and bagged." As LaRoy placed the phone call, the shooting started. It was an even match until the grenade launcher came out. Between the flying bullets and the fleeing Lobos, tempers hit a fever pitch.

"Line em up."

Jax took a deep breath and tried to think like you, "this isn't Mexico, we're not kings here, we've got to work with other crews. You start gunning people down, no one is going to trust us. You wanna move your product, we need relationships."

Torres tried to get a word in, "not this relationship."

"LaRoy made a mistake, better message is that he changed his mind. Decided to roll with Galindo. You kill this guy, you're killing everything."

Torres placed a finger on the middle of LaRoy's chest, "one more bad decision and I wipe nineteenth street off the map."

A calm came over the room as they walked away, "you got a minute?"

Clay walked over to a quiet corner with Torres, "this is Tito Willows, he's the solution to your doctor problem. She's too highly trained for a snatch and grab, Mr Willows is the best sniper we have."

Clay looked the man over, "I was told you needed this dealt with right away, when do you want it done."

Clay rubbed his face, "she takes her kid to the park at the same time every week, that's tomorrow."

Willows nodded, "I'll be there, my fee is twenty thousand dollars, you'll pay half before the hit and half when she's dead, the first half in non-refundable no matter the outcome."

Clay smiled, "make it quick and don't fuck up her face."

Willows shrugged, "if I can get a headshot I will, you'll just have to have a closed casket."

Clay felt a cold chill go down his spine, he was starting to feel in over his head. "Fine, I'll get you the money tonight."

Clay and the others left, leaving the men to call you, "you got an update for me."

Tito smiled, "yeah, he wants you dead. I got the whole thing on video liked you asked and I'll have the cash as proof."

"I guess I should make sure my will is ready to go in case you miss."

There was a chuckle, "I'm not Russo Morticia but you know I don't miss."

You huffed, "if there was ever a day to miss Tito it would be when you're shooting at me. If my kid is around you abort regardless, understand?"

"Of course, I'll see you tomorrow."

****

They were all back at T-M, Jax was smoking on the picnic bench when Bobby walked up to him, "you were great today. Talking the cartel down, saving LaRoy, all those other guys was impressive. This Club needs that, can't lose you."

Jax bristled, "what are you talking about?"

Bobby huffed, "Clay told me you're jumping out with him."

Jax chewed on his cheek, "well Clay lied, I told him that he had a year to get the Club out of guns and drugs or I'd leave. I guess he lied to me about that since he told you I was leaving."

Bobby was taken aback, "he told me you were leaving regardless, why would he lie?"

"Because he has no plans to get the Club out of guns and drugs." Jax was stomping towards the Clubhouse before Bobby could speak again, he didn't even bother knocking as he opened the door.

"You lied to Bobby, told him I was getting out."

Clay shifted his glasses to his nose, "I'm sorry, you know we can't get out of guns by the end of the year, you told me you'd leave so I just took the initiative and let Bobby know. I'm only trying to protect what we worked so hard to build."

Jax shook his head, "at this rate, there's not going to be much left of that building. The cartel was a mistake."

"You almost took Bobby's head off for barking that same gripe."

Jax huffed, "I'm not just griping about it, we need an exit strategy, I'm gonna come up with one then we're out. We're going to put the guns and the drugs up for a vote and we are going to wash our hands of everything that's killing us."

"What are you talking about."

Jax was done with Clay, "we're going to make this deal with the Irish, get Romeo his WMDs and then we're gonna sit down and plan a way to get this Club free of Galindo, see and end date and then we're done." Jax got up before Clay could respond, just as he was walking out the door, Clay spoke again.

"Doctor pussy's clouding who you are son."

Jax turned on his heel, and the look on his face made Clay's heart jump, Jax was stalking back towards him like he was going to beat him to death, "if you ever talk that way about y/n again, I will pound those half dead hands so hard into this table, you won't ever be able to hold that Gavel again."

****

"I live with so many lies Clay, so many things I can never speak of, I'm ok with that. I do it to protect what we have. But I can't lie to you, you're the only truth I have."

Clay nodded, "I know Baby."

Gemma took a deep breath, "I went to the cabin today, I know why you did it. I know you read JT letters, burned the copies."

"So, what do we do with this truth."

Gemma was worried, "nothing, it stays between us. Piney wanted a hard was out, going out defending John was the noblest way for him. But it stops here, y/n hasn't brought the letters up again, she has no intention of giving them to Jax or anyone, she never has."

"Ok, I believe you."

Gemma stood up and placed her hands on Clay's cheeks, "look me in the eyes and tell me you won't hurt her."

Clay smiled softly, "I promise I won't hurt y/n. I love you Gemma, everything I do is for you."

Clay put Gemma in her car and kissed her goodbye then called Willows, "you can pick up your payment in the morning, I'll tell you when she's at the park."

"Done."

****

Gemma heard the safe open as she was getting breakfast, she acted like she was none the wiser as he came around the corner, "morning."

She had her head in the fridge, "hey, you're up early."

His tone was a little harsh, "yeah, me and Jax have got to handle this Mexican thing."

"I'm afraid to ask."

Clay's tone didn't improve, "then don't, me and Jax have got it handled. I'll see you later." Gemma ran over to the safe only to find money missing, she did her best to ignore the cold chill running down her spine.

****

"Alright, I've got half the day off, so I'm thinking Abel comes to work with Sam then you bring him to the park for the afternoon."

Jax smiled, "I like that, he's been helping us fix cars."

You giggled, "I hoping that if I get him into cars he'll never go near those death machines you people love."

Jax shook his head and pulled you into his arms, "I don't know, he is my little helper."

"Don't let Sam hear you say that, he'll get jealous."

Jax chuckled, "how's the wedding planning going?"

You smiled, "I'm baking the cake samples on the weekend, then starting to look at dishes we can all put together."

Jax shook his head, "is this how our wedding is going to go?"

You nodded, "DIY is best, plus, it's not about how much money you spend or what your invites look like, it's about two people who love each other."

Jax smiled, "I can't wait, I guess it will be easy for you since you're using Sam and Ima as a test case."

You shook your head, "don't tell them that."

****

"Here's your ten grand."

Tito smiled, "thanks, I call you when I'm there make sure you're one hundred per cent on taking her out. You know I've met her before, she's an outstanding soldier, I can't promise a kill but I'll do my best. This is your last chance to pull out, I told you I'm keeping the cash regardless."

Clay had no idea you knew each other, "nah, I want it done. How did you know her?"

Tito smiled, "it's a long story man, I can't say I'll be sad to put a bullet in her."

Clay smiled, "she's like that, I'm surprised someone hasn't done her in already."

Tito did his best not to give away how well this was going, or that he had it all on camera, "she's a real bitch, you know she outranked me when we worked together, that's the first and last time I take orders from a woman."

Clay tilted his head, "she was a civilian, how did she outrank you?'

Tito huffed, "how do you think, she's a bitch with a brain and the military love to keep the squints happy. Hell, if I do her, I might offer you a discount for the pleasure."

Clay smiled, "and I'd be happy to take it."

Tito shot his hand out, "to a short but enjoyable relationship."

Clay accepted his hand, "call me when it's done."

****

"What's this one?"

Jax pointed to the battery on the car he was working on, "da batty."

Jax tried not to laugh, "that's right, what about this one?"

His finger moved to the "da engin."

Jax put Abel down and stuck out his arm for a high five which Abel accepted. Sam was working on another car on the other side of the garage, "he's getting better, he'll have his own shirt in no time."

"He sure is smart."

Sam chuckled, "yeah, my sister did a good job while you guys were inside, have you watched the videos she took yet?"

Jax nodded, "yeah, she put them on the TV in the bedroom, I watch them while she's on night shift. He really likes helping her in the garden."

Sam smiled, "he's like any other little kid, he likes mud."

"Y/n loves Abel like her own Jax, I know without a doubt in my mind she would die for that little boy. You don't need to worry about her leaving if things with the cartel get too much."

Jax smiled, "are you still worried that I'll leave her?"

Sam nodded, "every damn day."

****

"I'm heading to the park now."

You took a deep breath and collected to your things, ready for the events that were about to take place, "great, I can see the seats, I'll text before I start shooting." You hung up and drove off, arriving at the park soon after, there were only a few people here but you still sat away from everyone.

"Be there soon, Abel had so much fun today."

The text from Jax sped things up a bit, you called Sam in a hurry in hopes of slowing things down, "yeah, you good?"

You hoped he hadn't told anyone you called him, "I need you to stall Jax for five minutes, I can't tell you why and don't let him know I called."

Sam sighed, "alright."

He hung up and you texted Willows, "it's got to be now, my kid's on the way."

"Get ready."

You took a deep breath and looked around, no one was in the line of fire so you reached up and made it look like you were stretching to give the signal, seconds later, the wood in front of you exploded. You looked around and started running, a bullet landing in a tree inches from you. People were running and hiding, far away from the line of fire, as you reached the bathroom, you felt a bullet whizz by your head. You dropped and the concrete by your leg was hit, then you felt a searing pain in your ankle.

Looking down, there was blood pouring out of a hole in your boot but the shooting has stopped. You took out your phone after it beeped, "did I hit you?" You texted back, "it was a ricochet, I'll be fine. Get lost and call Aden so he come meet me at the hospital."

"Done, I'm so fucking sorry."

*****

When Jax drove up to the park, he was stopped by a cop. "What's going on?"

Candy Eglee, the blonde deputy that Jax knew well walked up to the car, "let him through."

Jax drove up and parked, only to see you waiting on a gurney with the paramedics, "what the hell happened?"

Jax was stuck between getting Abel out and running over to you, "y/n says it was a sniper, no one heard the shots. She's fine, the paramedics said it was a superficial wound." Hale wandered over and looked in the back, "I'll take it from here Candy."

Jax put his head in his hands, "I've told the ambulance to stay, I'll wait with Abel so you can talk to her, then I'll drive you to St Thomas."

Jax ran over to you just as they loaded you into the ambulance, "Oh my God, y/n. What happened?" You didn't look like you were in pain but your voice gave it away.

"A sniper with shit aim, I can see the bullet under the skin Jax. I'll be fine, in fact, I should be home by tonight. Where's Abel?"

Jax didn't relax, "with Hale, I'll meet you at the hospital ok Darlin."

You smiled softly at him, "ok beloved. I love you." Jax grabbed your hand and kissed it as the paramedics prepared to leave.

"I love you too."

****

Jax stopped by T-M to drop Abel off while Hale waited in the car, everyone knew something was very wrong by how he was acting. Gemma walked up to him and took in his worried expression, "what's wrong? I thought you were going to have lunch with y/n."

Jax shook his head, "Jackson?"

He took and deep breath and walked over to where everyone was standing, "y/n has been shot, she's on her way to the hospital."

"What, where was she shot?"

Jax rubbed his face, "in the leg, she said it wasn't that bad but there was a lot of blood, I don't know."

Sam put his hand on Jax's shoulder, "you're going to leave Abel with your mum and we're all going to head up there, someone should already be there with her so take five minutes to calm down, she doesn't need you a mess right now."

Clay shook his head, "you guys go, I'll call Romeo and let him know what's happened."

Clay walked off with Gemma hot on his heels, coming to a stop as he sat down at the table, "I need to ask you a question." Gemma shut the door and did her best not to sound accusatory.

"What."

Clay already sounded angry, "why did you take all the money out of the safe?"

Clay spun in his chair, "what did I tell you about digging into Club business?"

Gemma shook her head, "it's not Club money."

Clay was openly angry now, "that's right, it's my money and as long as you have enough to take care of the house and amuse yourself, you don't need to worry about it."

"Did you really just say that to me?"

The look on his face would have frozen hell, "maybe I should be saying shit like that to you more often, remind you that you aren't a member of this Club, you're an old lady and don't forget it."

Gemma nodded, "ok." Without another word, she left.

****

When Jax got to the hospital, Derek was there waiting for him, "hey man, you doing alright?"

Jax didn't respond, "where's y/n?"

Derek placed a hand on his upper back and led him to the chairs, "she's in X-ray, Aden's with her. She's fine dude but she's in a rotten mood so unless you want her to bite your head off, you need to calm down."

Jax shook his head, "did they say how bad is was?"

Derek shrugged, "Aden said she told the nurse to give the painkillers to someone who needed them, I think she's fine."

Ten minutes later, a nurse came to get Jax and take him into your room. "Hey, where's Abel."

Jax sat down as close to you as he could, "with my mum, when's the doctor getting here?"

Just as you were about to answer, the doctor walked in and slapped the X-ray on the screen, "fucking shit balls."

Jax looked terrified, "what, what's wrong?"

You shook your head, "nothing really, other than some microfractures that don't need any intervention, there a hunk on concrete heading towards my ankle joint so I'll need surgery."

The doctor nodded, "yes, she's right. However, it will be quick. We'll go in, clean the wound and remove any foreign bodies, it will take half an hour max, then you'll need three weeks in a soft cast and it will take another three for the swelling to go down completely, so you'll be off your feet for just over a month."

You nodded, "can I go home tonight?"

The doctor shook his head, "tomorrow at the earliest, I'll go tell them to prep the OR now."

You nodded, "can you send Hale in, I'll give him my statement while I wait for this to be done." Aden left and came back with Hale five minutes later.

"How are you feeling?"

You shrugged, "fine, my leg hurts."

Jax stood up, "I'll go get a nurse and see if they can give you something."

You put and hand on his forearm and shook your head, "they're going to give me plenty of drugs soon, it can wait." Aden smiled as he took in Jax's worried expression.

You waved your hand and Hale sat on the end of the bed, "tell me what happened."

You took a deep breath, "I was sitting at the tables waiting for Abel and Jax to arrive, we have lunch at that park at the same time every week because Wednesdays are split into two shifts for me. I got the text that they were leaving then the shooting started." Hale was going from writing notes to looking at you.

"The table was hit and I started running, then bullets hit close by but not close enough to be dangerous. I realised that the bathroom entrance was suitable cover and I managed to get into the doorway when the concrete by my leg was hit. I never saw or heard the shooter and I never received any threats beforehand."

Hale nodded, "thank you, if you can think of anything else give me a call. I'll keep you updated on the case as we go."

You nodded "thanks."

He left and the doctor walked in, "you ready to go?"

You nodded and took off your engagement ring and handed it to Jax, "keep this safe for me. I'm gonna want it back."

Jax smiled softly and leaned down to kiss you, "I'll be here when you wake up."

****

The others arrived just as Jax walked out of your room, "what's going on?"

Clay was doing his best to sound worried, "they're taking her for surgery now, she should be home by tomorrow. It had to be Lobo."

Clay kept his face neutral, "I called Romeo, I haven't heard back yet."

Jax nodded, "call LaRoy, he knows how to get in touch with Lobo. I told y/n I'd be here when she woke, I don't want anything happening without me there."

Opie put a hand on his shoulder, "we'll call Alvarez, get him to help."

Jax nodded and Sam checked his phone, "Billy just landed with Frank, they'll be here soon. No one will get through them."

Jax rubbed his face and moved to sit down in the waiting room next to Aden, "you don't need to stay man, I'll look after her."

Sam nodded, "alright, just keep me posted."

Forty minutes later, the doctor came out, "everything went very well, there was no damage to the underlying structures and she'll be back to normal in a few weeks. You can go and see her now but forewarning, the meds have made her a little loopy."

Aden laughed, "that's happened before, I got to film this for the guys." Jax shook his head but brought Aden in any way.

Jax felt warmth in his chest when you shot him a wide smile, "Jackson, you're still here. Come and sit with me."

Aden was doing his best not to laugh, "how are you feeling?"

He sat as close to you as he could and you grabbed his hand, "oh, my leg hurts but I don't care. I haven't been this high since…I'm not allowed to talk about that."

You looked at your left hand, "where's my ring?"

Jax shook his head, "it's safe with me, you can have to back when your pupils are back to normal."

You nodded, "ok, you're so pretty, like really pretty, I don't think it's fair."

Jax lifted his hand and stroked your cheek, "you are off your face."

You shrugged, "maybe, so when are you busting me out of here?"

Jax chuckled, "when the doc says you can leave."

"You're no fun, Aden, can you get me out of here?"

Aden shook his head, "when the doc says I can."

You reached over and grabbed Jax's hand, "you don't need to stay, I know the Club comes before me, Aden is good company and he'll let me watch the surgery feed."

Jax could swear he felt his heart stop, "I can stay as long as you need."

You shook your head, "no, you have Club business to deal with. It's alright, I'm used to it."

Aden stood up, "come on, I'll walk you out." Jax was reluctant to leave but also he didn't want to leave the others waiting. Aden paused just as they exited the hospital, "don't take anything she said in there to heart Jax, we all know she comes first and that you'd do anything for her. This happened the last time she got hurt real bad and she was the exact same, it's not what she knows to be the truth, it's just what she worries about."

Jax gave Aden a soft smile, "thanks man, make sure she isn't alone for too long."

Aden nodded, "we'll look after her until you come back tonight."

****

They went to the Niners' headquarters with the Mayans, the moment the Mayans were spotted, the bullets started flying. "LaRoy, LaRoy, get out here."

LaRoy walked out of the office with a scowl on his face, "what the hell Laroy?" They could hear the rage in Jax's voice. Tempers weren't just hot, things were seconds away from popping off again.

"Lobo took out three of my men this morning, we're all a little skittish."

In the corner, Marcus fired off a shot which landed between the eyes of one of LaRoy's lieutenants. "You just killed one of my best soldiers ese."

LaRoy was talking like he was going to kill Marcus so Jax took a deep breath and stepped in front of his gun, "alright, you both lost a guy, you're even."

"no we ain't. Get out."

Jax stepped closer, "we need your contact for Lobo Sonora." LaRoy wasn't listening so they left and Jax was left filled with anger. When he tried to go with the others for the meet with Romeo, Clay sent him back to the hospital. By the time he got there, he was still as high strung as when he left.

****

Clay met Willows and Romeo on the side of the road, "what the hell was that?"

Willows didn't raise his voice, "I told you she'd be hard to kill, if you want the job done you're going to have to get me into the hospital."

Clay shook his head, "nah, forget it. Jax is never gonna leave her side and she's got all her friends around, no one's going to be able to get to her. I'll talk to her, get her to see reason. In the meantime, we need to give Jax a few Lobos, satisfy his need for revenge."

"Understood, we'll be in touch."

****

You were asleep when Jax walked into your room, "how's she doing?"

Billy smiled, "fine, the drugs have worn off so you don't need to worry about her telling you national secrets, she told me you had the nicest butt she had ever seen on a man and I'm never going to tell you forget it."

Jax let out one short laugh, "you can go man, I'll be here for the rest of the night."

Billy nodded, "we'll be staying at your place until she kicks us out, don't worry about Abel, we'll look after him."

"Thanks, I call you later and tell you how everything is going."

Jax laid next to you and placed a hand on your face, you roused as he pulled you into his arms, "hey, how did everything go?"

Jax stopped you before you could ask any more, "don't worry about that right now, just rest, I'll fill you in later."

You nodded, "ok, I love you."

Jax smiled softly, "I love you too."

You giggled a bit, "I may have told Billy that your butt was the perfect handful and a half per cheek, so everyone will know by the time he gets back home."

Jax huffed, "that's alright Darlin, you were pretty stoned."

You nodded, "yes I was."

Jax could hear the tiredness coming into your voice, "close your eyes pretty girl, I'll wake you up for dinner."

"Yay, hospital slop." When Jax went to reply, you were already asleep.

****

"What's the matter, change your mind because they didn't kill her."

Gemma was pissed, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Gemma stopped up to Clay, "you promised me, you looked in the eye and promised me you wouldn't hurt y/n."

Clay slammed the safe door, "you're insane, I had nothing to do with what happened to y/n."

"You took money out of this safe this morning, hours later, somebody goes after y/n. She'd probably do dead if that guy wasn't such a bad shot."

Clay turned on his heel, "you need to stop, right now."

She knew he was lying, "Jesus Christ, Abel could have been hurt."

Clay kicked a chair over, "Enough!"

Gemma gave him a nasty smile, "maybe Jax needs to know that truth." Gemma pulled her gun as Clay got closer, "you stay away from me you, you son of a bitch. You stay away from my family." Clay stepped closer and Gemma fired but she missed, then Clay was on top of her.

Gemma did her best to fight back but she was no match, she knew now without a doubt, as his fists hit her face, that he was beyond saving.

*****

"Do you want to say goodnight to Abel?"

You nodded and reached out, "hello sweetie, how was your day?"

You could hear Frank and Billy at the other end, "fun mummy, uncle Fank is nice."

You chuckled, "I know, did you eat your veggies?"

He giggled, "yes mummy, auntie Ima made tatos."

"Alright honey, you can tell me all about it when I get home. Goodnight sweetie."

His reply sounded a little sad, "goodnight mummy." You hung up and handed the phone back to Jax who walked over and sat in the chair next to you.

"Tell me what I can do for you."

You reached out and placed a hand on his cheek, "you can stop worrying about me, I'm fine."

'Please get mad at me y/n, scream at me or something, I know this is all my fault."

You placed your hand on his face, "my sweet, noble Jackson, you weren't the one firing the gun, how could this be your fault? I don't blame you even a little, I know what I was getting into when I decided to stay here in Charming. Now please stop worrying and go get the nurse to bring you a cot so you can spend the night with me."

Jax looked so sad, "I'm never going to be good enough for you."

You sat up as best you could, "we've been over this Teller, you don't get to decide that. Now please, I don't want to fight you on this, I just want you to hold me so I can get a good night's sleep and get out of here."

Jax kept his composure until he got out of the room, Kip walked up to him looking worried, "you ok man?"

Jax wiped his face, "I'm fine. I'm going to stay here tonight, you can head home."

Kip nodded, "sure, call if you need anything."

Jax walked up to the nurse's station and tried to calm his shaking voice, "what can I get you doll?"

Jax gave her a soft smile, "can I get another bed to spend the night in there with my fiancee?"

She nodded, "sure sweets, I'll have someone bring something in." Jax walked back to your room, already feeling a little better.

"They'll be back here with a bed soon."

You smiled at him, "I don't think they'll let us screw here so you'll have to keep to your side."

Jax shook his head, "I don't know how you're so ok with all this."

You shrugged, "because I've been here a billion times, it's barely a flesh wound, now stop worrying and come to bed before I change my mind and get Billy and his flat ass to stay with me."

Jax chuckled, "we can't have that now." He laid next to you while you waited for the other bed to arrive, "does your leg hurt?"

You shook your head, "only a little, nothing that time and rest won't fix. Now stop worrying about me."

Jax went to reply when the bed arrived, "hey doll, the OT will be here mid morning to get you some crutches then you'll be on your way. You need anything?"

You shook your head, "nah, thank you for bringing the bed."

She left and Jax settled down for the night, "goodnight darlin."

You reached your hand across the gap and grabbed his, "goodnight beloved."

****

There was blood everywhere, you crawled through the sand to get to Travis who was bleeding out on the ground, he was choking on his own blood when you got to him, "I can't feel me legs, are they still there?"

You looked down to see nothing but gore, "nope, but your dick still looks intack."

He laughed as best he could, "I'm going to die here, aren't I?"

The sand next to you exploded and you picked Travis up by his vest and dragged him away, "we all are Travis, I promise I'll save my last two bullets so they don't get us."

He huffed, "always the logical one." A noise pulled your attention away, an insurgent holding Billy's decapitated head high up in the air while his mouth was fixed in a scream.

You shot awake, unable to breathe. There was someone touching you; or trying to. As your hands came up to defend yourself, you threw a flat hand out, hoping to hit the face that was coming into view but the hand grabbed you had familiar callouses that encompassed your wrist, "it's me, y/n it's Jax, you're ok."

"I….."

Jax could hear you trying to hack in a breath, "it's ok, I'm here." He placed your hand on his chest, "hey hey, just breathe with me with, in and out, that's it." His heart was steady under your hands, "I'm here, I'm not going to let anything happen to you." You managed to take in a tiny breath, then one more as Jax kept talking.

"There you go, good girl, can you keep doing that?"

You nodded, "I'm sorry."

He took your face in his hands, "you don't need to be sorry, just focus on breathing for me." Jax felt a strange sense of calm come over him, you shifted to the far side of the bed, Jax laying next to you and pulling you into his arms, "you're safe, I'm not going to let anything else happen to you."

You were suddenly overcome with exhaustion, "get some rest Darlin, it will be morning by the time you know it."

****

You were still in Jax's arms when you woke up, Jax smiling down at you as you opened your eyes, "morning."

You gave him a sleepy smile, "good morning beloved. I'm sorry about last night, I kinda lost it."

Jax shook his head, "you had a night terror and then a panic attack, you didn't lose it, it's ok y/n."

He pressed a kiss to your lips, "I've got some things with the Club to sort out but I'll be back as soon as I can."

You nodded, "it's ok, I need some time to myself anyway." Jax huffed, "I'll be back before they let you out, tell me how the OT goes."

You nodded, "will do, have fun out there."

He kissed you again, "I'll see you soon."

The moment he left, you called Vance, "it's got to happen today the second I'm out, get men to collect the guys. How did the meetings go?"

Vance took a deep breath, "Alvarez is pissed that Clay lied to him but he wasn't surprised that you are what you are, he's on board but only If Jax takes over. Pope is the same, he wants to add the to mule but the same goes, he wants very little to do with Clay."

You rubbed your face, "the Irish?"

Vance huffed, "have been made aware that they will no longer be breathing if they don't play ball, our friends in the Irish Catholic Church were happy to help. It's all come together, you want us to send someone to pick you up?"

"Yeah, and make sure that job is ready for me once this is over, none of them are ever going to want to see me again when they find out what I've been doing.

Part 44

As always, please comment if you can, it really helps me stay motivated.

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lisxdumbr · 2 years

Note

i Finally finished the reply (I just woke up from taking a nap)

I don't mind you replying to both asks in one post at all! ♪ I intended for my asks to be separated so you can answer each with half the whole burden divided since they're pretty.. Long, yanno? Easier and faster to reply to each. Before anything else, thank you for taking out some of your precious time to reply !! I do have a small request tho, since the asks and reply can get long, will it alright for you if you can put *read more*? :0 I just feel like not wanting to take up space on someone's feed since i feel bad and so so sdfjfhds. I hope that's okay for you; I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY. help. BONJOUR to you☆ for the greetings, because I have no idea what to go for the greeting.

Themes can somehow show a person's uniqueness, a quick insight to their aesthetic choices and such, so it's a lovely thought! There will always be someone who will like what you do and create <3 I have seen Qian's!! but i am unsure about Soren's (have not seen it), either way, their themes surely look beautiful even if I have not witnessed it all 🙌✨

HI you are a Moon too...!! mm I don't know, but it radiated Yuta energy to me when you said that. I agree with the thing about the units choosing you !! There will be units you thought you'd like at first, but they don't survive in the end as the actual units you produce </3 you'll never know when it happens. I HAVE READ THE 2WINKVERSARY it is lovely. I think it made me tear up a bit, I can feel your love for them, and the journey along the twins hand in hand throughout the time. Sobs. It's really meant to be, isn't it?

Enstarsblr is wonderful, there's lots of nice people if you know where to look. I'm happy that it's a nice and welcoming community, good for everyone in here !! With the mention of the prev year, I have heard that it's quite the tiny community filled with peace back then (am not yet into enstars). I'll extend my support too, wherever they may be.

Controlling fear of bugs is so amazing that you could do it !! am so proud of you <33 i feel the same about thinking dragonflies were small, but they Weren't. Brings me back to the gigantic dragonflies of the prehistoric age, the Meganeura. Yes, the Horrors... If a cockroach in the area attempts to fly, pls see me in heaven.

Back then while I was doing my homework in our living room, there's a grasshopper (yes it aint crickets usually but they're similar in the jumping sense,,,) in the corner. More often than not, instances when there's a grasshopper in the house, it coincidences with the nearing date of our deceased relative's birthdays (more on my grandpas/grannys). It's like a culture belief in my country, like a dead relative visiting you in form of insects.

The horrible thing about them is when they JUMP. I am terrified. So when I saw one in the corner of our living room ( i have high insect detection instincts due to being afraid of them. and yet usually they say theres no bug in there when i see it with my two eyes ) I said, "Pack it up, soldiers. We're going home," and left everything else unattended for I will die within the presence of the grasshopper. I am very comfy with having sunflower as my emoji, don't worry !! ✨

Philo and psych are two interesting subjects to study, I hope you learned a bunch of things from studying it !! Absolutely take your time to answer, I beg of you... I get carried away when chatting (haha.,,..) so it results in typing long messages. and of course, more importantly, Take care now!! 💗 (i'll follow up the second reply)

P.S: How do i stop talking.. goodness. I cannot shut up for the life of me. I have the 2nd part ready, but it is Long as well, like a Ramble. Please answer my asks when you have the time Only !! Conserve thy energy for better things <3

— 🌻.

HELLOOO LOVELY ANON WHO GIVES ME A SEROTONIN BOOST EVERY TIME. I apologize for the time it took me to get to your ask ;; I hope you're doing great today btw !! I decided to reply to both of your asks in one post (again) but separately (?) this time, just trying formats.

And sure !! I didn't think about the length of the post at all because of the new Tumblr "expand" thing, but let's give it a try !

I still believe you're too kind when talking about my themes, oooh you should've seen my past ones. I still miss the Lemon Squash Cheers one and the No Name Yet Kohaku too ♡ I've been thinking I should. return to them one day, but I'd have to search for the assets I used and hhh. (Pretty sure I saved them on purpose because of this idea but my gallery is a mess 0(-( ). And !! I decided I will change to the Trick w Treat Yuta actually! When school allows me (fee me).

YOU SHOULD SEE SORENCAT'S THEMES. it's so unfortunate you can't see his past themes </33 (I'm crossing my fingers that he won't read this, else it'll be embarrassing) but,, he was a huge inspiration for me when designing themes. Actually the entire layout of my edit blog is so inspired in the layouts he previously had. HIS BRAIN >>> my favorite ones were both his autumn and winter themes (from last year) perhaps I have a screenshot? 👀 (As I implied before my gallery is a mess. I never delete anything, it's horrifying) but even if I did, I guess I'd need his permission to show u,, ANYWAY. I'm rambling about my friend and you don't even know him I believe-- his user is @ nnatsume ! He's currently on hiatus but he's as treasured as anyone,, even if we don't talk much anymore </3

YOU'RE SO !!!?&?&! I'm going to hold you in my hand. That actually irradiated Yuta energy??? I keep finding details that make us more and more similar. I am. so ashamed that you had to see my 2winkversary,, I went a bit insane there ummm twiddle. Enstarsblr was indeed one of the most beautiful places on earth, I'm sad to admit that the community crushed and divided itself after Eng release and the amount of new people getting involved </3

See I'm not mad at the newcomers or anything, glad they're enjoying their time. But I am a bit bitter towards them because, small parenthesis;

At the beginning they started causing a lot of controversy over stuff they were ignorant about. I remember they started insulting Anzu and "cancelling characters for being problematic" and they also refused to read stories--

I'm a silly little #gatekeeper idk I just don't like my interests to be mainstream (that's on me ik)

Ohhhmygod the amount of weird people plaguing the main tag now,, enstblr used to be a very tranquil space, not updated that much and with so little people on it we literally knew everyone. We could spot newcomers and welcome them in an instant. Now you see 70 different people there a day, and let's not talk about the,, fics. I'm personally not against dark content (I actually like some of it) or the NSFUU because it's just another genre of writing but,, does it has to plague the entire tag,, there's not even a balance, every day I check the tag and there are 20 different works from accounts I haven't seen in my life and like. 10 of them are nsw help me Jesus 0(-(

I know there are cool people among the newcomers probably, but I can't help but think about the golden era. Those shiny days we had last year and at the beginning of this year.. I miss them, I wish I could go back </3

This is such a jump of topics, but !! Yeah I'm surprised at myself too. This is going to sound stupidly silly but,, even if this "fear of bugs control" started a while ago, it actually started developing much more when I started thinking to myself "if Yuuta was here, who would protect him from the bugs!?" and for some reason that. helped a lot ????? I don't know if you know this but he's absolutely terrified of insects and I found that so cute he's the silliest YOUR INSTINCT IS AMAZING THOUGH, I was going to say a fun fact about scorpions, but I decided that. maybe it wouldn't be the best thing to do if you fear them. well.

It's totally ok to ramble btw, I enjoy reading you ! And I love looove talking too, so it's ok really <3

ー〜ー〜ー　♧　ー〜ー〜ー

Second ask <3

Omg... various face paints, I'd like to see that !! it's so nice that the face paints do not limit creativity, and allows it to grow. Ooh, although I cannot personally add a comment on your opinion, I looked up Skelita and !! She looks so amazing + according to the description, she has a nice personality too!! I love the orange highlights and colorful dress.

Worry not !! I'm glad you're at least fine, it means a lot already ^_^ Yeahhhh... homework... *collapses just by the thought of it* Liking your classes is so niceee waahh, I'm happy you're at least enjoying them ! OHHH your creative projects seems so interesting, I hope it goes well and you enjoy the process of doing so !! Media is a blessing, since it inspires us to find outlets for our hyperfixations and interests. I have some vague ideas in my mind for the final project, but it only focuses on aesthetics and symbolisms, if that's allowed within the "anything" range your teacher told you,,, let me know if you wanna hear it. all the best <3

thank you, i will be dropping by whenever i have the time (i actually typed this hours ago before i passed out ) also the amount of 0(-( in the second reply is sending me. i love that. 읏.

anon lore... i guess you could call it like that,... im not supposed to reveal that im a reiP first and foremost however i figured that it would make sense since it's timely that his fs 2 is around. 100 pulls hurts a lot in jp server,,, lis i am so sorry for your lost dias :((( .... this happened to me. Rei is a [redacted] for making me pull 130 pulls on his noir neige banner on taiwan server and NO, he did not came home. I think i lost my sanity along with my dias due to that.

I SUPPORT HINATAP agenda. idk to yuta, deserved... perhaps. there's something with liking a sibling which makes the other sibling to come home to you instead (hello ritsu). update: i tried doing single pulls until my dias went exactly to 1k, no rei for now!! in the future i hope. I HOPE YOU GET MIRAGE YUTA 3 MONTHS LATER !! *does the same violent act to yuta and throws many copies of mirage yuta to you. might as well kidnap him the izumi way. ( i am sorry )* Deeply thinking about what if the hinata cards that came home to you were supposed to be yuta in disguise but before he could change he was pulled in disguise as hinata (coping mechanism,, maybe.)

NOOOOOOO kanata..!!! they got fs 2 rei x2, but at what cost.. when kanata didn't puka puka his way to his pulls !! kanata probably floated in the wrong water 😭 i hope they get kanata too after 3 months !! love and support from an oddballsP <3 peace and love !!! we shall get our favs after 3 months... *prepares weapons and equipment for war* Being f2p in this game spells suffering. " i blocked him that day" HELP ME. That is so understandable fjdsjdks

& ! I did had an amazing day !! (it's midnight as we speak right now) MAY YOU HAVE AN AMAZING DAY AS WELL!! <3 heart heart. i talked a lott. Help. I just hope my asks were at least good reading materials to you, like a newspaper. See you !!

I'm so glad you feel interested in the culture !! It's actually, really wide (and cool too) honestly reading your reply hit me like a truck. Oh mein gott, sometimes I forget people grow in different environments and that not all experiences are similar to mine but. You're the first person who tells me they didn't know Skelita, I felt 💥 (am I getting old. are people these days not into MH anymore...? ‹/3)

And yeah !! My subjects are so cool, I'd love to hear your final project ideas btw <3 anything means anything. It's not the idea, but the way you execute it you know? 👀 I can use any concept if I'm able to demonstrate I actually learned techniques and composition and all that stuff.

I'm glad you love the 0(-( because that's. Me. That's my energy. 0(-( and yeah 100 pulls is. a lot. It pains me but well, one day ! Also omg I'm so sorry :(( I've never played twstars but I believe they hold the same system as foreign servers in general?? Hopefully you could replenish your dia quickly ! I actually pulled for that Rei too (and didn't get him aha) because,, Noir Neige my beloved and the ultimatum of my insanity. I wanted to grind that Ritsu but I had to save because I was a bit broke,, (and thanks god because the amount of faves that came after,, ohh if you knew).

HELP ME, hand me the Ritsus, I've been wanting kitty Ritsu since day 1. ACTUALLY since day 0. I knew about that card before I started playing and I knew I wanted it as soon as I created my account (and guess what. hueh. points at my empty Ritsu stock). THANK YOU SO MUCH. I hope so too :(( lady year I didn't get Fruitful Yuu either and he came in a free pull like. 6 months later so !! I have faith (though I give the credit to my friend Marchie (@ rinnelovebot) because before pulling she wished me to get a Yuta and !! It happened (and she's so lucky with my faves, she has the Hinata card I'm missing 0(-( ) Maybe they keep switching places, perhaps. Also it's ok if you kidnap him, deserved, I mean he already has experience after nightclub so hwJJBDHHWBFB I'm not sorry.

We all adore the eccentrics <33 my beloved weird geniuses. I miss them every day. I hope you get all your Reis in the future btw !! wishing you luck <3

Have a nice day too !! Yes your asks are amazing and good ! do not feel bad about talking and infodumping if it makes you happy ♡

#❝ mail !!#🌻 !! anon #this took me like an hour to type oh mein gott

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wandering-the-fae-wyldes · 57 minutes

Text

My original OC

Hey there folks! So this post is a little odd, I know it's nothing to do with my story, it's not a lewd thing, but hey it's my blog right? Ok, so I started on Tumblr actually as a fandom blog, @mourgensternanon and its associated blogs. You can try looking it up, but the blog is long since deleted and deactivated. Obviously you can still find the old posts though.

From there I eventually wanted to do my own thing and deleted it, but the own thing I wanted to do, was play as my original character. He was meant to be a kind of fumbling wizard, a mix of a few different characters that I liked. His gimmick would be that he'd always get in trouble, but also always have some clever way of getting out of it.

That character was named John, and for a while it was just John. He was not popular... I tried for a while to get some, any traction with him. And for one or two people I did, @sunflowerup is one person I had the longest ever RP that I've done, and it's not even close. Our OCs clicked really well together, and we have an RP that is currently on hiatus I think, haven't heard from her in a while, that has been ongoing for over 5 years.

Now she is an amazing artist, and fantastic RPer. If you want to reach out to her, then go ahead, just BE POLITE! Do not ANY of you go and harass her! And I have commissioned a lot of art from her over the years, here's a few of them.

(In order: John, Alucard, Dracula, Harley Quinn, John)

I have kept John alive and kicking, wanting art of him and to use him, solely for my RP with her. Now as you know he's no longer the focus character of my account. He does still have a blog on here, I just sadly have no idea what email address I used to make it. I wanted a character that more people would like and be drawn to, and so that's when I made Jacwyn. Jacwyn was originally just a really feminine and lewd version of John that I could use and send to other people. But eventually Jacwyn became his own person, and over time I wanted to write a story about him too. I wanted to write a story for John really, but I already felt like I was telling his story with @sunflowerup. I didn't want to erase any of that story or retread it, so I moved forward with Jacwyn.

The rest is largely history at this point. I still try to keep in contact with sunflower, but like I said, haven't heard from them in a bit, can't access the old John account yet, and here I am.

This was all really spur of the moment, I started thinking about my time on the platform and wanted to kind of make a post about it. Some of you might remember me all the way from the start, back with my Lucifer blog, others maybe John, but yeah.

If anyone wants to meet John, then feel free to ask. He's a much more serious and down to earth character than Jacwyn, and as you can see a lot more masculine. Either way, I'm proud of him, and I hope you guys at least found some enjoyment from this post.

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apollonemo · 5 years

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#i know i normally vent on my main blog but consideribg that this one part of why im upset involves. the au or whatever i guess irs fitting #to vent here #i wish i had better things to talk about #i just wanna talk about the same thing over and over #and by same thing i mean sunflower #they just mean a lot to me #and i csnt shut up about them ever and it's so annoying im sure it is because nobody ever wants to hear about the same things over and over #and i hate myself. so so intensely for it like i wish i wish i could find something fucking normal or something to spend my time talking ab #but no #i can't #i find something that grabs my interest for a little while and i talk aboht it a lot (for example fuenciado & lykes)#but it always cycles back to sunflower and im so. sick of it because i know no one else cares really #i feel so. guilty. all the fucking time when kt comes to the m and sometimes i wish i had the sense to just #shut up about them altogether because no one fucking cares and i'm so sad i'm so sad over this and it's so #it's so so stupid i wish something normal meant half as much to me as they do #like i said i was so much more tolerable as a fall out boy stan #i have never hated myself over the things i have interest in more #so yeah #i want to just stop existing

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pan-fangirl-345 · 3 years

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For You, And You, And You

Summary: As if falling in love with three people who are already in a relationship isn't bad enough, you start coughing up flowers a few months after you figure it out. Now you have a decision to make, but you don't think it's really much of a decision anymore.

TW: Blood, vomit, unrequited love (not really unrequited), angst, hurt (there is comfort!), swearing, mentions of overstimulation (not the s*xy kind), and mentions of panic attacks. These sound bad, but there is a happy ending, I promise.

A/N: I know that I have other things that I need to be working on, but this has been running around my head all day and it seems like a good idea.

Side notes: Sign language usage, hard of hearing Bakugou, ADHD Kaminari

If I have forgotten anything, please let me know!

YOU WATCHED AS Bakugou corralled Kaminari and Kirishima towards his room so that they could study together, laughing when Kaminari threw you a look that practically screamed, 'SOS'.

"What are you laughin' at, Princess?" Bakugou snapped, glaring at you. "You're comin' with us!"

"All my homework is done," you informed him, glancing at them over the top of your book. "I don't need-"

"You're coming," Bakugou repeated, grabbing his blond boyfriend by the collar of his shirt when he tried to escape, practically dragging him.

You stood, knowing full well that Bakugou was not above dropping his boyfriends in his room and coming back for you the way he had for Kaminari.

"Fine," you grumbled, stretching with a sigh when multiple parts of your body cracked and popped. "Just let me grab my things."

Five minutes later you were leaning against the wall of Bakugou's room, right next to the door.

You were, according the Bakugou, guarding the door in case his boyfriends tried to escape for whatever reason, but you were pretty sure that he knew that you were sitting there so you could make a quick getaway.

You didn't mind studying with Bakugou and the boys, but it was awkward for you, given the circumstances.

Bakugou, Kirishima, and Kaminari had been dating since the break before your second year of high school. Halfway through second year and they had settled into a rhythm of sorts after many failed attempts and a lot of backtracking.

It wasn't their relationship that made you uncomfortable though, it was the fact that you spent so much time with them.

Normally, spending time with them would be an honor, but being in love with them made things complicated.

Especially when they seemed hellbent on spending as much time with you as possible.

You propped your book up on your knees, finding your spot before you pulled your headphones on.

They were low enough that you could still hear the boys talking, in case they needed to get a hold of you for some reason, but still loud enough that you could hear the beat and the lyrics.

Two taps on your shoulder had you looking up.

Bakugou tapped his ears twice.

It had been a code you had worked out.

Because of your quirk, you sometimes needed to keep your headphones on as training, and when they boys tapped you twice and then tapped their ears they were asking if you needed them on or if you could take them off.

Good thing about being friends with Bakugou was that he taught you sign language, so you had a way to communicate with the three of them if you needed to keep your headphones on.

"What's up?" you asked softly- just in case Kaminari was still sensitive- as you pulled your headphones down around your neck.

Kaminari had fried himself during training earlier that day, and his senses became sensitive after he regained himself, not that anyone had figured it out until recently because he refused to be any kind of burden.

"Can you help Dunce Face?"

"Always," you said, scooting over to see what Kaminari was working on, careful to avoid contact. "Hey, Kami, what do you need help with?"

When he pointed you in the right direction, you started working with him once you made sure Kirishima was understanding what he was working on too.

Bakugou tended to work by himself and then check on the others when he needed a break or once he was done with his own homework.

There were times when he would help them if they asked, but Kirishima and Kaminari were both stubborn and thought that they shouldn't need the help, so they tended to wait until Bakugou took a break.

It was one of the reasons Bakugou kept you around when they had these study sessions.

You were almost always available when they needed the help and he couldn't break his own concentration.

You checked on Kirishima once Kaminari was on track again.

He had been making leaps and bounds when it came to his classes after these study sessions had started being a regular thing. Kaminari had too, simply because Bakugou kept them on track and he was able to teach them in a way that they would remember and could understand.

They still weren't high in the class rankings because according to Kaminari and Kirishima, "Todoroki, Bakubabe, Midoriya, Iida, Momo, and you are all some kind of mutant geniuses," but they were doing better than Mineta and Aoyama were.

Bakugou had earbuds in, and he was nodding his head along softly to whatever he was listening to.

You had made a collaborative playlist with everyone in your class except for Mineta, and they always added their favorite songs, or ones they thought you might like to it occasionally.

You now had a playlist over 60 hours long, and you were constantly being surprised by who added what. Not only had it been a good way to get to know your classmates, it had also been a good way to irritated everyone when you blasted it through the dorms.

You had separate playlists with Tokoyami, Bakugou, Kirishima, Kaminari, Midoriya, Jirou, Mina, Uraraka, and Shinso.

They were the ones that listened to music the most, and their interests aligned with yours more than you thought they would.

Shinso, who was going to be replacing Mineta- much to everyone's relief- was someone you had come to know through Kaminari, and you had never regretted a thing.

Kaminari tapping on your shoulder brought you back to the present, and you turned your attention to him, explaining a concept he didn't quite understand yet.

Bakugou was at his desk, and Kaminari was spread over his boyfriend's bed, while Kirishima sat near the head of the bed, leaning against it as he worked.

When Bakugou stood from his desk with a stretch, you finished up your explanation, making sure Kaminari understood.

You scooted back over to your spot when Bakugou sat down near his boyfriends.

You shut your book, leaning your head back against the wall as you listened to one of your favorite songs.

When the song was over, you glanced at the boys.

They seemed fine, so you stood and exited while they were distracted.

You shut Bakugou's door quietly, heading for your own room.

A tickle in the back of your throat had you pausing to cough into your hand and clearing your throat a couple of times.

You knew that if Bakugou thought you were even the slightest bit sick he would kill you, and harshly nurse you back to health with a lot of yelling and cooking.

You really hoped it was just a small cough.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NOT JUST A SMALL COUGH, you thought-panicked- as you stared at the three different flower petals in your hand.

Your cough had gotten worse over the last couple of weeks, but no one else seemed to have noticed, not even Bakugou, who was known for knowing when someone was sick even before they did.

You had heard of this.

Hanahaki, a disease born from unrequited love. A disease that would grow inside your lungs until a) you confessed and the feelings were reciprocated, b) you got the surgery that would take away the flowers and the feelings you had for the person(s), or c) you didn't get the surgery and the flowers slowly started to block your airway and injure your lungs and throat until you choked to death or died of malnutrition and dehydration from the damage to your throat.

A) seemed like the best option, but there was little chance of that happening.

You sighed, tucking the petals away in your suit pocket.

You knew you would have to tell someone about the problem soon, especially if they started to injure your lungs, which they likely would.

But for now, it would be your dirty little secret.

You had been going to the library after training, checking out books on flowers, trying to figure out what kind of flowers you were coughing up, since it might tell you who you were in love with.

You had a feeling, but you really hoped that you were wrong.

With further investigation, you found that you weren't wrong at all, quite the opposite in fact.

All three petals, despite being different colors were sunflower petals.

The red ones symbolized energy and passion, and while that one could have been for all of the boys, you knew that petal meant one of the people you were in love with was Bakugou.

Normally, people associated red with Kirishima, and while that was also true, you had a gut feeling that the red petals were for Bakugou.

The orange ones must have been for Kaminari then. They symbolized high spirits and happiness, and while Kaminari had his bad days, he could make you feel better even when he was having one of his bad days, and you loved him for it.

Which left the yellow ones for Kirishima. Goodness, truth, and endurance were definitely something you associated with Kirishima, and the brightness of the petal was a reminder as well.

You let out a shuddering sigh when the realization set in that you either had to confess and hope for the best, or get a surgery that would erase your love for them permanently.

"There you are Princess," Bakugou snarled softly and your jerked upright at the sight of all three of them standing there, looking worried.

"Hey, what's wrong?" you asked.

"You aren't in my room, for one thing," Bakugou said, eyes roving over your little workspace. "Taking an interest in botany?"

"Sort of," you said. "Someone's been leaving me flower petals, so I was wondering if there was a specific reason."

You had prepared the lie in case of something like this, you were just hoping that Bakugou bought it.

"Is that so?" he inquired, eyes sharp as they took you in.

Kaminari and Kirishima locked gazes over Bakugou's shoulder, some expression crossing both of their faces for a few moments before they went back to normal.

"So what are they?" Kaminari asked.

"Red, orange, and yellow sunflowers," you admitted.

You gave the boys a run-down of what they meant, but you noticed that Kirishima and Kaminari continued to share looks with each other, while Bakugou seemed to be scrutinizing your every move and word.

"I'm sorry that I missed your study session," you said after a few minutes.

"Don't worry about it," Kaminari said. "It's not like we're forcing you to go. We understand that you have other interests sometimes."

You noticed that he used the words 'we' and 'we're' and you wondered if that meant just him and Kirishima, or if that extended to Bakugou too.

"Still, I should have-"

"It's in the past," Bakugou interrupted. "Just make sure that you're at the next one."

"I promise I'll be there," you told them, smiling brightly, ignoring the urge to cough out more petals.

The amount of petals that you were coughing up continued to rise every week, and it was getting harder and harder to hide as time went on.

You knew that pretty soon, you would start coughing up full flowers instead of just petals, and that was what scared you the most.

You knew that you would have to go to the doctor soon, just to see how long you had before you were in serious danger, but you wanted to hold on for a little bit longer.

You wanted to hold onto the feeling of being with them for just a little while longer, before all that was left was the memory.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

YOU SHOULD HAVE ACCOUNTED for Aizawa though.

Despite his normally disinterested nature, he had grown attached to your class in the time he had you.

You may have been problem children, but your class were his problem children, and he had made a habit of checking in on all of you at least once a week.

"Who is it?" he asked as soon as you sat down across from him.

He had called you into an empty classroom, and you knew what he was asking as soon as he said it.

You pulled the petals out of your pocket- cleaned and pressed, because what were you, an animal?- and said, "Take a wild guess."

"I thought I raised you better than this, (Y/L/N). No loud blonds and no problem children, but two of those three are all both of those things, and the other might as well be!"

"I know, but the heart wants what it wants," you murmured, taking the petals back.

"What are you going to do?" he asked.

"I have a doctor's appointment on Monday, after class, so that I can see how long I have," you confessed. "After that, well, I guess the only option I have is to schedule the surgery. It's my best chance, even if it's gonna put me out of commission for a while, and there's a chance that it'll come back, everything considered."

"Have you tried telling them?" Aizawa asked.

"No," you admitted, shaking your head softly. "I don't want to burden them with this, and they want to be heroes, they would try to save me even though there's nothing they can do for me."

Aizawa nodded his understanding, but then sighed.

"In between your appointment and the surgery, if you need someone to talk to, Present Mic would be your best bet. He's gone through this before, and he's honestly better at talking with people about their feelings than I am."

"What happened?"

"In his scenario, he didn't need the surgery. I didn't need it in mine either."

Aizawa fished a ring on a chain out from under his capture scarf, and gave you a small smile.

You couldn't help the smile that spread across your own lips as you realized what this meant.

"I'm glad," you said honestly. "For the both of you."

"I want you to at least try to tell them," Aizawa said. "It couldn't hurt."

"I respect the hell out of you, Aizawa-sensei, and the same goes for Mic-sensei, but I'm going to have to say 'oh fuck no' to this one," you told him. "I really don't think that's a great idea."

"Well, I can't force you to do anything, but I really think that they at least deserve to know."

"I've started writing in journals," you admitted, pausing to cough petals into your hands before you continued. "I'll have someone give them out when before I get the surgery. Midoriya probably, he seems like the most trustworthy. Todoroki is another option. I want someone who isn't going to look through them."

Aizawa nodded, but he looked sad.

He laid his hand on your head, and it was comforting.

"I was hoping none of you would have this problem," he admitted softly. "I remember how horrible it was."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm just surprised that it was you, and a little disappointed."

"I'm sorry," you said again and Aizawa shook his head, removing his hand.

"You have nothing to apologize for, (Y/L/N), this kind of thing can never really be helped."

"I'm still sorry to have burdened you with this knowledge though. This kind of goes without saying, but . . . can you keep this on the downlow? I don't really want anyone fussing over it. The other teachers are fine, and they probably need to know, but I really don't want anyone other than that knowing."

"Are your parents aware of what's happening?" Aizawa asked.

"I told my mom, and she told Dad. He threatened to come, but I told him that it wouldn't do anything other than make things worse. They know about the appointment and the surgery since I'm a minor and I still need my parents for certain things regarding insurance and the like."

Aizawa nodded again, standing.

"You're free to go, and I promise to do what I can," he told you.

"Thank you Aizawa-sensi," you said, shaking the hand that he offered you.

"You don't have to thank me for this," Aizawa told you, looking for all the world like he would do anything to make the situation better.

"Still, thank you," you said.

He nodded, and you could feel his eyes on you as you walked away down the hall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I heard that you have a doctor's appointment later," Bakugou said when you walked into his room for the usual study session.

"Yeah, I've been feeling a little bit off lately, and I was need of a physical soon anyway," you said.

"Are you okay?" Kaminari asked, taking your face in his hands to look you over for a moment.

"Kami," you murmured, putting your hands on his. "I'm fine. Just weirdly achy, it's nothing, I promise."

"It's enough that you're going to the doctor," Kirishima argued.

"You boys worry too much," you teased.

Your heart clenched at the sight and knowledge that they were worried about you. They worried about everybody, but this was a new level that you had unlocked recently.

"You're getting paler, and you've been coughing a lot lately," Kaminari argued.

"And you're getting slower during training. You took a hit from Racoon Eyes that you should've been able to dodge," Bakugou chimed in.

Damn, they really must've been worried about you if Bakugou was joining in.

"It's a cold," you said, exasperated. "It'll be gone in a few weeks."

"But-"

"Drop it," you snarled.

Kirishima and Kaminari flinched, going quiet, but Bakugou's eyes narrowed and he took a step towards you.

"I'm sorry," you murmured, curling in on yourself, immediately regretting the outburst, "but you guys are making a huge thing out of nothing. So I haven't been feeling so hot lately, but there's not a lot you can do. Besides, like I said, I'll be fine in a few weeks. At the worst it's a virus that I have to fight off on my own."

Bakugou's eyes narrowed further, and you could still see the hurt behind Kaminari and Kirishima's eyes.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you," you told Kirishima and Kaminari. "I get bitchy when I don't feel great. That's not an excuse though. I shouldn't have taken it out on you. Come here."

Both boys moved to hug you, and you smiled at them.

"You want in Bakugou?" you asked when you noticed he was still watching you.

His face flushed pink and he snarled, "Not a fuckin' chance."

"Come on Bakubabe," Kirishima teased, opening his arms, and Kaminari followed suit.

"I have no idea why I'm in love with you fuckers," he muttered, but he walked over and let his boyfriends bring him into your little hugging circle.

"Thank you, guys, for being worried about me, but if there were something really wrong, I would let you know," you promised, hating the way the lie felt on your tongue and the way your eyes stung with unshed tears.

You let yourself soak in their warmth for a little while, tucking that feeling away, making yourself memorize the way it felt, before you let them go.

They weren't yours, you reminded yourself. They weren't your boyfriends, as much as you wished that they were.

"Let's get this show on the road," you told them, smiling brightly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Miss (Y/L/N)," the doctor said when he stepped into the room.

"That's me," you told him.

"So I understand that you're here because you've recently gotten Hanahaki, is that correct?"

"Yes."

"And, please correct me if I'm wrong," the doctor said with a wince, "but you've been coughing up three different colored petals?"

"Yes, one for color for one person," you agreed.

"Well, that's a problem," the doctor said, going over whatever was on his clipboard.

"Why?"

If this guy was going to be one of those assholes that had a problem with you loving more than one person, you were going to-

"When someone is coughing up flowers for more than one person, that dramatically decreases their time frame," the doctor said. "Loving one person means it's easier to avoid them until a decision has been reached about what they want to do. Two people is harder, but doable. Three people is hard, and given your current schooling situation . . . I'm sorry to say that my hopes aren't high."

You took a deep breath, or tried to, and let yourself take a moment to despair what was coming next, to think of worst case scenario before you steeled yourself.

"So what do we do?" you asked.

"Well, we have to do some tests on your lungs," the doctor said, "maybe a scan of some sort. I will also need to know the nature of your relationship with the people you are growing the flowers for, and their relationship with each other. It may affect the plant growth, and could sway any decision you make on your treatment plan."

"I'm getting the surgery," you told the doctor. "I made that decision before I even made the appointment. I've made the decision that I'm going to be selfish about this. I'm in the hero course. I'm going to graduate, and I'm going to help the people that need it. Not even Bakugou goading me into anything is going to get me to change my mind about this."

"Bakugou," the doctor mused, "is that . . . ."

"One of the guys I'm growing my flowers for? Yeah, he is. The other two are his boyfriends. I have a fucked up taste in partners apparently," you joked.

"Ah, you're one of those patients," the doctor said.

"Hmm?"

"You make jokes to help cope, and to try and put someone else at ease. You don't have to do that here. I am a Hanahaki specialist, I see a lot of people like you."

"Okay," you murmured.

After testing your lungs, and doing some scans, the doctor took you back to the original room.

"So, given the fact that you live in close proximity, and you have to spend a lot of time with all three of the various reasons, plus estimated rate of growth and your training routine . . . I'd say you have about a month left before you start heading towards red territory, meaning you have about a month before it starts becoming exceedingly life threatening."

"If I go into the red area," you began, "how likely is it that the surgery is going to be successful?"

"Depends on how far into the red you go," the doctor said. "Until about the halfway point, there are still high chances that it will be successful and that you will make a full recovery. Any further than that and the chances start decreasing dramatically."

You nodded, taking all the information in, processing it, tucking it away, applying it to situations that might happen.

"I can practically hear the gears turning in your brain," the doctor told you, giving you a small smirk.

"Sorry, habit," you said with a wince.

"You're taking this extremely well," he noted.

"I'm in Class 2-A," you told the doctor. "I've dealt with some bad people. Things like this don't faze me for long anymore."

"Fair enough," the doctor replied. "There's not a whole lot we can do for Hanahaki, even this early, so you just have to live with it until you set a surgery date."

"I have a vacation coming up," you admitted. "I'm assuming I have to go somewhere else for the actual surgery?"

"That's correct," the doctor said. "We aren't equipped for that here, we're just the starting point."

"Okay."

"I can give you the number for the hospital you can go to to get the surgery, and you can set everything up there or give them a phone call."

You nodded, taking the piece of paper the doctor handed you.

"I noticed that you came alone," the doctor said.

"Yes, I thought it might be easier this way. My parents aren't taking this well and the only people I felt comfortable bringing with me for this kind of thing are going to make it worse if I spend time with them, so my best bet was to come alone."

"I see," the doctor murmured. "Do your parents know that you're getting the surgery?"

"I told them, they know," you said.

"How did they take that?"

"Mom cried a lot, and Dad got mad and stormed away. They have mixed feelings about the whole thing. On the one hand, they're happy that I fell in love, they have reservations about it being who it is, but they could get over that, and they're upset that I have the disease in the first place. There's also the fact that getting the surgery has so many major side effects and they're skeptical. In the end though, they know that it's my decision, and I think Aizawa-sensei might commit murder if they don't let me make my own decision, and he made that very clear to me."

"So you have a support system?"

"Yes, quite a big one everything considered."

"Then you're free to go, but please give me a call if something changes."

"Thank you."

He nodded, sending you on your way.

When you got back to campus, the boys were there waiting for you.

You smiled when you spotted them, jogging over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the end, your routine with the boys didn't really change. You still trained with them, still studied with them, but when they started asking you to join them places, you refused.

First of all, you weren't going intrude on their time together.

Secondly, as much as you would have loved to spend time with them, the plant growth was something you had to take into consideration.

You had started journaling for them more, the red one was for Bakugou, the orange one was for Kaminari, and the yellow one was for Kirishima.

You had decided that Tokoyami was your best bet for getting the journals to the boys before your surgery. He likely wouldn't snoop, and he could be trusted to get the journals to the boys when he was supposed to, not before when they had a chance to try and stop you from doing what needed to be done.

You had yet to talk to the boys about the side effects that the surgery might have on your mindset towards them, but you figured you still had time to find a way to broach the subject with them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER.

You were pushing it with your training as it was, and while you were getting stronger, your lungs were getting weaker and weaker as the flowers got bigger and bigger.

"You're pushing your luck," Aizawa said, frowning down at you.

"I'm fine," you growled. "Put me in the fucking brackets. I'm getting the surgery next week, I want to get in as much training as possible before I'm put on leave."

He frowned, and he was glaring at you enough that anyone else might've backed down, but you were going to hold your ground on this one. There was absolutely no way you were missing this opportunity because your body decided that it was going to be a bitch.

"Fine," he grumbled. "Bakugou, you're going up against (Y/L/N)."

"Bring it on Princess."

"Don't hold back Blasty," you teased.

"Do I ever?" he replied.

"No," you said. And that's one of the reasons I love you.

When you both climbed into the ring, you knew it would be a good fight. You had so much stored frustration that you could take out on Bakugou without fear of harming him.

Without use of your quirks, it was almost a fair fight.

As soon as Aizawa yelled, "Start!" you were flying at each other.

Blow and block, block and blow.

It was like a dance, and things were going well for the both of you, but then Bakugou got in an unblocked blow to your stomach.

Had that been with the added force of his quirk, you would've been on the other side of Gym Gamma, but without his explosions, it just made you roll to just inside the boundaries.

You struggled to pull yourself up in between the coughing, but you were having a rough time with it.

You managed to push yourself up with your arms, but you still couldn't breathe.

You couldn't hold back the torrent of flowers that spewed from your mouth from the force of the blow. You hadn't been coughing, so there was quite a build-up in your lungs, throat, and mouth.

Bakugou launched himself, seeing an opening, but a hand held out by you had him stopping.

"Is she puking?"

"Is she alright?"

"What's going on?"

You heard Kaminari and Kirishima rushing to your sides as Aizawa ended the fight, but you waved away their help.

You were still coughing, but you managed to push yourself to your feet, though you swayed dangerously into Kaminari's side.

You were panting by the time the flow of flowers and petals stopped, and you were leaning heavily on Kaminari.

"(Y/L/N), get to Recovery Girl," Aizawa ordered.

"No, I'm okay, I can still-"

"Go!" he ordered.

"I'm fine," you argued.

"Fine?" Kirishima whispered harshly. When you turned his eyes were dark and he looked like he might burst into tears. "Fine?" he asked, voice rising. "Fine? (Y/F/N), you just threw up like, fourteen full-sized fucking sunflowers! Not to mention the number of petals too! That's not fucking fine! That's having stage three fucking Hanahaki!"

Everyone in Gym Gamma stopped at that and swiveled their heads to look at you.

You blinked as Kirishima continued his little tangent. He was swearing almost as much as Bakugou, which had you worried.

"You should have told us," Kaminari murmured, voice tight with restraint. "Why didn't you tell us?"

He was crying, you realized when you turned your head to look at him. There were tears streaming down his face, and he looked devastated.

Bakugou was eerily silent, and when you turned your attention to him, you winced.

"It's not your fault," you told him.

You hated that pinched look on his face, warring between guilt, worry, and something you hadn't quite figured out yet.

Kaminari wrapped an arm around your waist, lifting your arm over his shoulder so that he could support you.

"Bakugou, listen to me," you ordered, clearing your throat a few times. "Katsuki," you demanded when he just looked at you with those glassy eyes and pinched face. "This is not your fault."

He nodded, dazed, clearly not comprehending what you were telling him.

"Problem children two through four are free to go. Get her to Recovery Girl," Aizawa ordered. "And don't bother coming back to class today."

Kirishima took you from Kaminari, carrying you bridal style, and you leaned into him gratefully, letting your body relax, sucking in as much air as you could.

"Why didn't you tell us? We could've-"

"Could've what, Denki?" you asked quietly, letting exhaustion take over. "What could you have done? My body has decided that it's going to grow flowers to try and get my love interests to notice me that way. It's growing flowers for emotionally unavailable people and there's nothing I can do except get the surgery."

"You still could have told us!" Kaminari cried, sniffling and furiously wiping his eyes. "We could've taken you to your appointments and tried to talk some sense into whoever it was and-"

He broke off into sobs and you reached out to lay a hand on his head.

"Come on Kami, if anyone should be crying right now, it's me," you said, having to take more breaths to get through the sentence.

"We should have- no- I should have noticed," Kirishima said softly.

"I didn't want you guys to notice because I knew you would worry about me. I didn't want you guys to have to worry about me. Besides, I had my decision made by the time I coughed up the first full flower. I'm going to be selfish and get the flowers removed so that I can keep saving people."

"It's our job to worry about you, (Y/F/N)," Kaminari sobbed. "We're your friends, we love you, we want to know about this kind of thing even if it's not killing you from the inside out."

"Sparky's right," Bakugou grunted.

Your head lolled to look at him, and he looked some kind of devastated.

"Never thought I'd hear you say that," you said breathlessly, giving a small chuckle.

"You should've told us."

"Next time I'll let you know," you told them, closing your eyes as you leaned your head on Kirishima's shoulder.

As soon as Kaminari opened the door to Recovery Girl's office another fit started.

"Get her on the bed and give her a bucket," she ordered. "Unfortunately, I can't do anything for this. And in her current state, a kiss isn't going to do much. I'm sorry dear."

"It's alright," you choked out, coughing more flowers into the bucket Bakugou handed you.

Kirishima patted your back softly while Kaminari held your hair back.

"Who is it?" Bakugou demanded.

"Babe, now is not the time-"

"Who is it?" he asked again, much slower and softer.

"There's no point," you told him when the overflow of flowers stopped.

The boys helped you get comfortable and you closed your eyes, wishing the bed would eat you.

"They don't need me, they don't want me."

"Have you even tried confessing?" Bakugou snapped.

You realized with a small start that he was desperate and snapping because of it. He was mad because he felt helpless and he didn't know how to handle it.

"There's no point. Three different colored flowers."

"Three different people," Kaminari realized.

"It doesn't matter if two of them love me, if the third doesn't that means that their flowers will still grow. It might give me some time, but the end result is still the same."

It was quiet for a few minutes and you relaxed into the bed, trying your best to breathe through the flowers.

"(Y/L/N)," Bakugou eventually remarked.

"What's up Blasty?" you asked.

"I'm going to ask you a question," he announced, and you cracked an eye open to glance at him, only to find realization breaking over his face. "And you know I'll know if you're lying when you answer."

"Give it your best shot Blasty," you told him, closing your eyes again.

"It's us, isn't it?" he demanded.

"Ding ding ding," you sang exhaustedly, "we have a winner."

"Wait, what?" Kaminari asked.

"The flowers that I'm growing inside my lungs, they're for the three of you. Like I said earlier, emotionally unavailable."

It was quiet again before Kirishima whispered, "So . . . we did this to you? We did this?"

"No," you snapped, sitting up to glare at him. "This is not your faults. None of this is because of anything any of you did. Hanahaki is a result of a gene mutation."

"Can you . . . explain more in depth, please?" Kaminari asked.

"A long time ago, there was this clan of people who could control plants with their emotions. It wasn't a quirk, since they didn't exist back then, but it was more of a connection with the earth or something. Anyway, rage, anger, love, hate, it all fueled their powers over nature."

"Great, plant manipulation," Bakugou grumbled.

"Then they started marrying outside the clan and all that jazz. It's a recessive gene, but it was a big clan. Anyway, a lot of people have the gene, but they don't have the right circumstances to make anything happen because of it. Because it's a recessive gene, both parents need to have it before it becomes much of a threat. Only a few unlucky bastards will ever even have a chance of getting Hanahaki. There are other less deadly variants though, but Hanahaki itself is rather rare.

"Because of the gene, when my feelings got as intense as they did, it started growing the flowers for you. The way Recovery Girl explained it, my body grew them to try and convince you guys of my feelings or something. It's hard to explain when I don't completely understand what this is either. But in short, the flowers are for you and they'll only go away when you all love me romantically or I get the surgery and forget about you."

"So you're one of the unlucky fuckers that has both recessive genes?" Bakugou asked.

"You win again Blasty. Normally, when it's only one person, it doesn't progress as fast as mine did. They can be easily avoided and it can take years for it to get this far."

"But there are three of us," Kaminari jumped in. "And we all have to live together and train. You couldn't really avoid us, meaning it got worse faster than normal."

You nodded, swallowing harshly.

"I'm sorry," you whispered. "I didn't expect it to get this far, and I certainly didn't want you finding out about it until after the surgery."

"But, now we can help!" Kirishima cried.

"No, Kiri, you can't," you told him. "I'm sure you've heard, but Hanahaki is only cured when the feelings are returned. Even if you wanted to help me like that, it wouldn't work. Besides, I would never ask that of you, of any of you."

"But-But that means that you have to get the surgery and forget about us."

You opened your eyes and cupped his cheek softly.

"You'll make friends with me again," you assured him. "Even if it seems like I don't want you to. Even if my attitude towards you guys changes, I'm sure you'll somehow find a way to draw me back in."

"There has to be something we can do," Kirishima whimpered, eyes welling with tears. "We love you, we can't lose you like this."

"It's okay," you murmured.

"It's not!" Kirishima cried, sobbing.

"Hang on," Kaminari said, getting that considering look on his face. "What if we said we wanted the flowers?"

"Huh? You lost me," you admitted.

"You said that your body was growing these flowers for us, right?" Kaminari asked, then continued when you nodded. "Well, I want mine. I want to take all the flowers that you're growing for me."

You were about to tell him that that wasn't how it worked, but the flowers in your chest decided that now was the perfect time to eject themselves from your body.

You coughed and choked as a torrent of orange petals erupted from your lungs.

Just as one wave ended, another began.

Tears stung your eyes and your throat felt like it was being ripped apart from the inside out, and your chest was constricting so much you thought you might pass out.

Suddenly, something much bigger was being pushed out of your lungs and up your windpipe.

Bakugou was shouting for Recovery Girl and the other two were panicking and trying to assist.

There must've been a stem this time, you thought deliriously.

You couldn't get enough air in.

Just as your vision started to go fuzzy around the edges, someone was easing the flower out of your throat.

You hacked and coughed and sobbed as leaves and roots tore up your throat, but then there was air in your lungs and you could breath better than before.

You choked on the amount of air flowing into your lungs again and slumped over the side of the bed, panting.

You spit blood into the bucket by your bed.

"Um . . . this definitely isn't natural," Kirishima whimpered after everyone realized that you weren't dead and that you were no longer in danger of choking on another plant.

You managed to crack your eyes open enough to see that Kirishima was holding a sunflower plant almost as tall as he was.

The base was stocky and thick, with a wide system of roots.

It branched off into at least six different stems, each with an orange sunflower at the top.

You forced yourself to swallow and managed to croak out, "Kami said," before your voice gave out.

"That's right!" Kirishima cried. "Kami told her that he wanted all of the flowers that she was growing for him."

"I didn't think it would actually work though!" Kaminari cried.

Bakugou settled you back against the pillows of the bed, brushing hair away from your face as the world stopped spinning around you.

"Can we try it too?" Kirishima asked.

You knew that the question should've been directed at Recovery Girl, but he was looking at you.

You mimed writing something and Recovery Girl handed you a paper and a pen.

Maybe later, you wrote, I think if we tried it now I would die. I was barely able to stay conscious this time. More back to back and there might be permanent damage to my throat and/or lungs.

Kirishima nodded, but there was something shining in his eyes that made you wonder what he was thinking.

Think a kiss would help now? you scribbled out, showing it to Recovery Girl.

She gave you one, and you relaxed into the pillows, letting the boys ask her questions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

YOU FELT BETTER WHEN you woke up, though not by much.

Bakugou was asleep by the side of your bed, arms crossed under his head. His arms were pillowed by your thighs and you wondered how long he had been there.

You shifted a little, reaching a hand out to run your fingers through his hair.

"Hey Princess," Bakugou murmured, shifting to look at you, grinning softly.

"What time is it?" you croaked, wincing at the sound of your own voice.

"Little after five in the morning," he admitted, sitting up. "That one kiss took a lot out of you. Eiji and Denks went to bed at about one. I couldn't sleep so I thought I would stay down here in case anything happened."

"You mean you had a nightmare and instead of waking them up you came down here to feel useful in some way."

He didn't say anything but the blush on his cheeks gave him away.

"You didn't have to stay you know," you told him. "Just because of the whole Hanahaki thing-"

"It's not because of the fucking feeling flowers," he grunted. "I would've done this whether it was my fucking fault or not."

"I already told you guys," you snapped, "this is not your fault. You couldn't've stopped this."

"We should've told you sooner," he whispered.

"Should've told me what sooner?" you asked. "If you guys aren't comfortable being around because I'm in love with you, then you don't have to stick around."

"No, it's not that," Bakugou told you.

"What Katsuki is tryin' to say," Kaminari slurred, stumbling in, looking more exhausted than you, "is that we love you too. And we had been talking about asking you to join us."

"We were talking about approaching you about being our girlfriend, but then you suddenly started not wanting to go places with us and we were worried that we were making you uncomfortable," Kirishima added, rushing to make sure that Kaminari didn't crash into your bed.

Kaminari forwent the chair at the side of your bed and instead climbed onto the bed next to you.

Kirishima rolled his eyes fondly, sitting next to Bakugou.

"Yeah, what they said," Bakugou grumbled.

"You guys don't have to force yourselves to try and care about me like that," you said, frowning. "It doesn't do anybody any good and hurts everybody involved."

"How can we show you that we care about you like that?" Kirishima asked. "Please (Y/F/N)."

"Do I really seem like the kind of guy to lie about his feelings like this?" Bakugou interrupted. "And do you really think I would let these morons do something like this?"

"Kind of," you admitted. "You all care about people enough to try and do that. Besides, I thought you were all gay."

"Demi," Bakugou grunted.

"Pan!" Kirishima chirped.

"Bi, obviously," Kaminari murmured from where he was burrowing into your side.

You blinked, processing this new information.

You were about to respond but Recovery Girl waddled in.

"How are you feeling, hun?" she asked.

"About as good as can be expected I suppose," you said.

"I contacted the doctor that you originally spoke to and he said that the only way the flowers would've come out of your lungs would be because the person you were in love with said that they wanted them and because they were in love with you when they said it.

"That being said, these other two want to give it a try. We would need a small space between flowers of course, since they did a lot of damage to you on the way out, because of how far along you are, but it should work, if you're up for trusting them."

You glanced between the boys and sighed.

"Alright, let's give this a shot," you agreed. "I still have the surgery scheduled, so if it doesn't work I can still go in."

"It'll work. And when it does, will you believe us?" Kirishima asked.

"It'd be hard not to," you told him, "the facts are right there."

"Good. We can start whenever you're ready," Recovery Girl told you.

"Let's start now, I want this over with as soon as possible," you said.

"Understood," she agreed, grabbing three pairs of medical gloves, handing them to the boys. "You boys might need these."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roughly nine hours later and you were panting as Kaminari gently lowered you onto the pillows of your bed.

"How are you feeling?" Recovery Girl asked.

Like I just threw up my intestines, but they were covered in thorns, you scribbled out. But I can breathe if that's what you meant.

"A few kisses and you'll be well on your way," she said, not seeming to mind your snark.

Bakugou snorted and Kaminari looked like he was trying not to laugh.

"Do you want us to stay?" Kirishima asked.

You can if you want to, but I'm not going to force you to stay if you don't want to.

"Do you want us to stay?" Bakugou asked, exasperated.

You hesitated for nearly a minute before you glanced down at your lap, nodding.

But you can go back to class if you want to. I know you guys have been here for forever and that you have classes to catch up with, you scribbled out quickly.

"We ain't goin' anyway Princess," Bakugou said, flopping down into one of the chairs next to the bed.

"Besides, Aizawa gave us a pass this morning," Kaminari added.

"You want us to stay and we'll stay," Kirishima told you.

You were in the middle of writing something but Bakugou snatched the pad out of your hands.

"Just accept that you're stuck with us darlin'," Kirishima said, tossing it over his shoulder.

Kaminari hummed his agreement, crossing his arms over your legs so that he could lay his head on them.

"When this is all over, and you're good to go again, we're taking you out, for real this time," Bakugou told you, mimicking his blond boyfriend and the position you had found him in early this morning.

Kirishima followed suit and you ruffled their hair before you nodded to Recovery Girl, who have you two kisses.

You were out like a light.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Darlin'," Eiji called over the din of the party that was going on around you. "Your mom wants to see our party trick!"

You laughed, handing the cookie platter to your little cousin, who giggled, trying to look inconspicuous.

You weaved through the people mulling around and found all three of your boyfriends talking with your family.

"Are we going to have to do this at your parents' house too, Katsuki?" you inquired, hands on your hips.

"Probably, the hag loves this stuff," he muttered, but his tone was fond.

"What are we doing at Katsuki's?" Denki asked, moving to drape himself over your back.

"Our party trick," you said and he laughed.

"I don't see a problem with it," Denki chuckled. "I think it's pretty hot."

"It is, but that doesn't mean that he should have to do it every time we go somewhere," you argued.

"I don't mind darlin', really, I think it's kind of fun," Eiji said, grinning.

"I find it humiliating," Katsuki grumbled.

"That's because you can't lift Eiji yet," you teased.

Katsuki's palms crackled but his eyes were soft when he looked at you.

"Are we doing this or what?" Denki asked.

Denki, Katsuki, and you all walked over to Eiji.

Katsuki was on Eiji's left while you and Denki were on the right.

Eiji then scooped all three of you up in his arms and your family cheered.

You giggled, wrapping your arm around Eiji's neck to stabilize yourself.

When he set you all down your little cousins, and even some of the older ones, were begging him to see how many he could lift at the same time.

"Why don't we try it next time?" you suggested, getting pouts and cries of injustice. "Think of it this way, the next time we see you all, he'll be even stronger and he'll be able to lift more of you than he can now!"

That soothed them for the moment, but some of the older ones glared at you, seeing through your compromise.

"You just want to keep him all to yourself!" one of them said as the others dispersed.

"But he's my boyfriend," you argued, "so I know him better than you do."

"But you have two others!" your little cousin retorted. "It's not fair."

Denki was crying from laughing so hard in the background, leaning on a chuckling Katsuki.

"They're definitely related to you, darlin'," Eiji teased, wrapping an arm around your waist and kissing you softly.

Your little cousin whined in disgust and disappeared into the fray and you sighed in relief.

"You must remember what that was like when you were little, (Y/F/N)," your mother teased. "You were the same way."

"I was not!" you cried, cheeks heating up. "I only argued because people kept telling me 'that's just the way it is' and I wanted a real reason why."

"Aw, imagine how cute little Lightning Bug was," Denki cried and you glared at him.

Soon all three boyfriends were on you about it and you groaned.

"You're all so mean!" you whined.

"But you love us for it," Bakugou argued.

"I hate it when you're right," you muttered, sending them laughing.

It had taken a lot to get to this point, but it was worth it, you decided. They would always be worth it.

#bakukirikami #kamikiribaku #kiribakukami #bakukamikiri #kirikamibaku #bakugou x reader #kirishima x reader #kaminari x reader #katsuki x reader #eijirou x reader #denki x reader #bakukirikami x reader #poly #hanahaki au #hanahaki disease

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alluringjae · 3 years

Text

au cours de l’été - jjh

⤑ translation: over the summer

⤑ summary: this is a story of an exhausted painter who needed a breather from the hectic city life. so aside from moving to the countryside, the needed air in your lungs also came in the form of a person. this summer meant for pure relaxation, perhaps your heart may dive into him too.

⤑ pairing: jaehyun x female reader

⤑ word count: 15.2k (so much for saying that i’ll be writing shorter stories)

⤑ genre: fluff, romance, smut | author!jaehyun, painter!reader, strangers to lovers!au, 50s-60s!au, summer love in france!au

⤑ warnings: me inserting some french phrases because I want to practice (feel free to correct me if I made mistakes, i’ll appreciate them), fictional interpretations of real-life people, explicit language, jaehyun being such a romantic pls im in tears, mentions and scenes of burnout (the worst)

⤑ author’s note: this was an idea that just came to me after pinterest kept recommending me poetic beauty/try again jaehyun, so here we are! i intended to write less than 5k words but sometimes plans don’t go as planned once you really invest in the story yet i’m really happy how this turned out!

the romantic exhilaration in my bones are off the charts because this is jaehyun we’re talking about lol enjoy!

⤑ masterlist

⤑ leave me some feedback, constructive criticism, or hellos!

3 juin 1957

The city life overstimulated your entire system, losing your brainpower and inspiration. Another exhibition that’ll feature your works with other influential painters was happening at the end of the year, and you had nothing prepared so far. You’ve crashed to the deep end of creative fatigue.

So you needed to get away again; somewhere quieter and surrounded by nature.

That’s why you ended up in the countryside down south, somewhere within Provence. It’s purely just for the summer, but extensions were okay as long you get back at least a month before the show. Filing that leave of absence at the studio you worked at was worth it.

You rented an apartment overlooking the marketplace, where the heart of the village was. After arranging things from your boxes and luggage the entire day, you found out that you lacked in the food department.

So the succeeding day, the entire morning was spent on grocery shopping downstairs then stocking them inside your refrigerator, freezer, and pantry. Right after changing out of your pajamas into a flowy floral dress and sandals, you decided to bike to the bakery that locals suggested. A must-go place for newcomers, they all raved.

“Café des Étoiles Perdues.” (Café of Lost Stars.)

The clear chimes of the bell resounded through the small, cottage-like lobby as you entered inside. An old woman, whom you assumed was the owner, welcomed you openly.

“Oh la la, vous êtes belle! Vous vous appelez (Y/N), la nouvelle venue, n'est-ce pas?” (Oh la la, you’re beautiful. Your name is (Y/N), the newcomer, right?)

She complimented, making you shyly mutter your answer. Wiping off the flour from her apron, she introduced herself kindly.

“Je m’appelle Camille. Mes spécialités sont les macarons pisctaches et des croissants avec des amandes. Autre chose que tu aimes?” (I’m Camille. My specialties are the pistachio macarons and croissants with almonds. Is there anything else you like?)

“J'aime tout ce que vous suggères, Madame.” (I’d like anything that you suggest, Madame.)

A younger man, who went by Jaemin, was a part-timer barista who asked for your coffee order. As he directed you to the best seat of the café, which was outside overlooking the garden of blooming sunflowers, you pulled out your sketch pad so you could capture this dreamy view. It was nothing like you’ve ever seen in your life.

You’ve decided on a theme already for your exhibit thanks to your conversations with locals yesterday, which was related to freedom. After being chained to cities for so-called better living and financial standards, it’s actually how your inspiration to create squeezed the life out of you like a lemon. Although it was fun at first to see those tourist spots, it eventually got tiring.

Another matchstick to graze intensity through your bones was what you prayed for.

While you’re engaged in a rough sketch of the scenery, the dandy presence of a young man entered the café with his books. White shirt, red trousers with a matching beret, he sported freckles on his pale face. Despite visiting his favorite café numerously, Camille was overjoyed to see him and his serene smiles.

“Jaehyun! What brings you here?”

“Bonjour, Madame! I’m starving for your croissants because I ran out back home.”

“Not to worry! I’ll pack up some so you’re on your way.” She lightened him up like one of her kids, taking one of the bigger paper bags.

“No rush though, Madame. I’ll be reading and working here for a bit here.” Jaehyun affirmed, bringing it out his wallet and called out for Jaemin.

“Un café crème, s’il vous plait.” (One cup of cappuccino, please.)

Jaehyun’s usual chair was by the large window, overseeing the wide garden planted by the citizens of the village way before he was born. It was places like this he missed after moving to the city for his education and work’s sake.

That’s the thing when you’re coming from a rich family; you don’t have much of say with what your parents order you to do. However, his recent request to stay in his childhood home (or mansion) again was fulfilled because he couldn’t search for what he needed in the cities anymore.

Jaehyun was a sucker for romance; an old romantic others would say. A lot of women mistook his kindness as flirting on many occasions, but ironically he just wasn’t looking for anyone yet.

Starting as a novelist in the said genre based on real-life stories of people he met in Paris, Barcelona, London, and more, his stories were popular hits especially to young adults who aspire to find love one day.

However, traveling to the known places no longer felt fun as he got older. The stories he gathered were very similar, just in different languages. It took an enthusiastic dinner with his family, specifically his only older sister Krystal retelling fond stories from their younger years to get the idea of moving back for a bit. So consumed with the city life, he wanted to see things from another perspective.

What was the difference between a love story formed in the countryside than in the city?

It’s been a month since he arrived, but he didn’t hurry himself to do his research. He’s been reading books in his family library, revisiting monumental places, exploring around the village, and reconnecting with old friends as if he never left.

Readjusting to his former life would make writing easier when he’s motivated enough to do it again. Besides, his books were profiting well enough to his taste; good enough for the next 10 years according to his personal accountant, Kim Jungwoo.

Jaehyun resumed reading this book his mother recommended him before he left. Entitled “Réessaye”, which was about a young man who reunites with his childhood sweetheart after his arranged marriage failed. After what she put her through, he’s hesitant whether to try again or let her go.

Jaehyun enjoyed reading books with realistic outlooks on love because he found them more meaningful, enlightening how exactly it makes you feel and do. Even if he enjoyed reading sappy, fairytale-like stories from time to time, he always returned to the real ones as they only displayed the truth.

That love isn’t always rainbows and sunshine, but something that can also break you especially if you go after the wrong person. This kind of mindset was how he toiled on his stories, which gained him a status outside of his unavoidable labels such as “the only striking son of the Jeong family” or “Valentine Boy”.

He diligently browsed through the climax, where the main male character confessed all his constrained emotions to his sweetheart. But it was until Jaemin pressed the bag of croissants in front of his face after placing down his childhood friend’s drink to disturb his peace.

“Reading again?” He taunted, snatching his book away and throwing the bag on Jaehyun’s lap. “When are you writing that book already? Everyone is practically dying for you to release something new again!”

Jaehyun flatly shook his head, drinking his coffee quietly. It’s not the first time anyone asked (or pressured) him about his next release, and it’s the last thing he wanted to think about. “Not in the mood right now, Jaemin. Now off to work before Madame Camille scolds you again.”

“You’re just stalling because you have nothing to write, don’t you?” Jaemin cunningly expressed, raising a brow. He’s known to catch onto the people’s bs easily; the last person you’d want to say your secrets too and Jaehyun realized too late. Though lucky for him, Jaemin shut the topic down right away so he wouldn’t pop a vein.

“Sais-tu de la nouvelle venue dans le village, d'ailleurs?” (Do you know about the newcomer in the village, by the way?)

“Une nouvelle venue?” (A newcomer?)

Being stuck at his mansion recently, news about village affairs were now late to him. Jaemin’s finger discreetly pointed outside the window, pertaining to a young woman sat outside painting her view in front of her.

That would be you, shading all the flowers in bright colors.

Seeing a new face amazed Jaehyun, especially when she was almost someone right out of a book. In a neat bun with white daisies printed in her dress, she crossed her legs whilst continuing her movements. She bit her lower lip, frustrated over an accidental smudge she made and trying to fix it by blending it with another color. When she accomplished it, she swapped brushes. A thinner one, to outline the shapes of the flower. Her lips curved to a smile after finishing another one perfectly with the rest.

“Jaehyun?”

Jaemin snapped his fingers to his distracted friend, zoning out the window. Still something he hasn’t stop doing, he pondered. With a final snap, Jaehyun broke away from falling hard from his abstract. Jaemin calculated the problem so quickly, analyzing his friend breezily like his medical school requirements.

“Elle est splendide, n'est-ce pas?” (She’s gorgeous, right?)

“Elle ressemble à une personne décente.” (She looks like a decent person.)

Jaehyun pushed it aside, flipping back to the page where he stopped reading. Before Jaemin responded, the door chimed open again to alarm him that a new customer came in. He excused himself to his friend, warning him that this wasn’t the last time he’ll talk about the newcomer too.

Jaehyun nodded along, not taking his friend’s cheeky words so seriously. However, the final result you attempted to create tickled his curiosity, so he slyly peeked from his book to the window.

You’ve freed your hair down, victorious to have started your collection this early in your break. A fantastic start, you let the paint dry first and munch on the croissant that served as your reward. However, you ‘re quick to notice a manly figure glancing through the window. From the side, his brown eyes appeared lively even if his entire face was hidden by the book.

Réessaye by Mark Lee; he must be a romantic. Every person in your studio read it, excluding yourself. Painfully beautiful, they’d summarize it.

Daring to meet more people, you locked eye contact with him. He didn’t expect it, almost flipping from his chair. Bashfully, you waved him a hello to somewhat break the ice. However, it broke his composure, and suddenly, he scurried off with his things from the café.

Now, you got quite worried. You checked your tiny mirror if he saw anything unpleasant with you, but you’d say you look relatively fine. Oh, maybe you could redeem yourself the next time you saw him. After bidding goodbye to Camille and Jaemin, the latter chased after you when you prepared yourself on your bike.

“By any chance, did you say hi to a guy with brown eyes and a red beret?”

“Well, more like I waved at him, then he zoomed out. Did I do something wrong?” You questioned with concern, putting your hands on the handles.

“That’s my friend, who’s quite reserved with strangers. I’m sorry on his behalf.”

“Nah, it’s fine.” You brushed it off politely. “See you again soon, Jaemin!”

Peddling away, letting the cool breeze fan you, your mind reverted its thoughts to that strange man. Maybe you’ll give it some time; you had a lot of it.

“Shucks, he was pretty cute.”

12 juin 1957

The world must really be on your side with these good decisions because you crossed paths with the strange man again in the café a week later. But instead of running away, he asked nicely if he could sit across your free chair in front of your table outside. It was a Saturday, and the place was packed.

“Joignez-moi, s’il vous plait.” (Join me, please.)

You insisted, giving yourself time to subtly observe his physique a lot more. Freckles dotted under his eyes like a constellation, bushy eyebrows, pink cheeks to match his pale complexion, and wearing a fuzzy knit sweater that meshed well with his green beret. He had some sort of necklace too; there was a heart pendant.

“Vous êtes une artiste.” (You’re an artist.) The small wooden palette of paint beside your small sketch pad was exposed, finding it as a great icebreaker.

“Une peintre, spécifiquement. Franchement, les visuels ici sont trés captivants qu'à Paris.” (A painter, to be specific. Frankly, the visuals here are more captivating than in Paris.)

“Je suis d’accord,” (I agree,) Jaehyun leaned against his chair, taking a better look at you with the remaining light from the descending sun.

“Oh, vous êtes comme moi. J’habite à Paris aussi.” (Oh, you’re like me. I live in Paris too.)

“Bon, je suis née à Londres. Puis, j’ai déménagé où je voulais en Europe depuis j'avais 18 ans. Mais oui, j’habite définitivement à Paris maintenant.” (Well, I was born in London then moved wherever I wanted in Europe for inspiration since I was 18. But yes, I live permanently in Paris now.)

You clarified, beginning to enjoy his comforting company. Initiating conversations with people you’re not acquainted with wasn’t in your range of skills, though he didn’t have an intimidating vibe. He looked too youthful to act like that.

“Je m’appelle (Y/N), d'ailleurs.” (I’m (Y/N), by the way.) You stuck out your hand as a sign of respect, which he enthusiastically obliged.

“Salut, (Y/N). Je m’appelle Jaehyun.” [Hi, (Y/N). I’m Jaehyun.]

He kissed it in a gentleman fashion, applying the manners he’s been taught since he was a child. Should you have been flustered, but no. It’s been a long time since anyone greeted you like that, specifically back home.

Throughout your talk, you learned more about who he was, his job, and what his life in the countryside is like. He was an author of romance novels, yet you’ve never heard about him prior. Heavily prioritizing your work, you don’t keep up with the new releases or trends at all. Though after mentioning his last name, it piqued your interest.

“Jeong? As in the business, Jeong Tea Inc.?”

“Correct.”

His family was one of the most affluent families in Parisian society. Old money immigrants from South Korea, they brought their tea business to France and it boomed successfully. You’re quite sure you’ve seen his parents in past exhibits, but never did you approach them because you were a rookie then. But he reassured you that it was fine, and to just treat him like you’d treat your friends. Plus, it came to your knowledge that he was the same age as you too.

He opened up how this village was where he lived his childhood, so he asked his parents if he could hand over their mansion for a while for rest. It then shocked both of you at how identical your reasons were for staying in the countryside.

“I’m burnt out from the city, so I’m trying to regain my spirit here hopefully. Besides, I needed a change of scenery after living there for 3 years. My longest stay yet outside of London!”

“I need new ideas for my books. The cities don’t charm me anymore, so I returned here for peace and quiet. Maybe let these ideas come to me rather than me going after them.”

From a bigger lens, people would conclude your interaction as a sight of two artists who passionately talk about their art. But to you, you’d interpret it as two relaxed, young adults in their twenties who simply wanted to run away from the pressures of their art and enjoy the summer as every young adult should.

Not cooped up in the studio or office, but innocently waltzing around with your youth while it’s still there.

début de juillet 1957

“Dépêche-toi, (Y/N)!” [Hurry up, (Y/N)!]

Jaehyun yelled at your open balcony from downstairs, parking his mini car beside your bike. He planned on taking you somewhere a little farther this time; to absolutely feel like one of the locals.

The countryside urged you to wear more dresses and flat shoes, so you took out a turquoise dress with a white scarf to wrap on top of your head. Like your relaxed fit, your mindset too was calm. Upon meeting him, he wore his round spectacles with a red knit sweater over a white turtleneck long-sleeved top. His fingers were adorned with silver rings, then around his neck was a thin black ribbon. He curled some of his hair again, a style you really liked of his.

You can’t lie, but this man could pull any trend or style and still look extra pretty.

Out of all the locals you’ve befriended in your stay, Jaehyun was always your companion. He took you to varying places that those locals don’t visit nor tourists acknowledge in their reviews for the past few weeks. For someone who hasn’t been in the village for a long time, his memory didn’t disappoint. His childhood was only filled with cheerful moments.

Today, he was taking you to a peaceful district of shops in the farther part of the village. It’s where he’d buy sweets, journals, and accessories with his mother, Krystal, and one of his housemaids every other weekend.

All the stores there were currently bombarded with blooming flowers along their alley, bringing more enticement to those who were roaming around. There was so much life here; the head waiter of one restaurant smiling at every passing customer, one florist handing a free flower to anyone who asks, and a young lady showcasing her jewelry collection to a bunch of women who looked like tourists.

“Cette librairie vendent des livres enveloppés dans du papier. Ma mère m'a offerte l'un d'eux pour mon anniversaire tous les ans comme une surprise.” (This bookstore sells books wrapped in paper. My mother gifted me one of them on my birthday every year as a surprise.)

He trained his attention at a rustic shop with open wooden windows giving a glimpse of their shelves.

“Avez-vous fini les lisant?” (Have you finished reading them?)

“Du début à la fin.” (From cover to cover.)

He took you to this rooftop restaurant overlooking the entire plaza. Since he didn’t arrange a reservation yet didn’t get rejected, he must know the owner. Especially how a lot of the staff gave casual hellos and high fives.

Speaking of the owner, he walked out of his kitchen to introduce himself to you. He went by the name Moon Taeil, another one of Jaehyun’s childhood friends whom he used to play at his house whenever his parents came along.

Gobbling up in the appetizing food Taeil prepared beforehand, Jaehyun brought up your painting exhibition again. He loved hearing artists talk about their works, wanting to know more about their driven mindset and what their imagination is like. After all, it does vary for everyone.

“So far,” You poked your fork through the chicken, taking a bite of it. “I’ve produced 3 paintings. The garden of flowers outside Café des Étoiles Perdues, the kids playing hopscotch in the alley, and the peach tree outside your house.”

“Woah, you’re on a roll.” Jaehyun clapped across you, pouring you another glass of water. He recalled the nights you ranted not having any clue what to do for the exhibit. Then after taking you to more places, he’s rewarded to see you be creatively active again. “How many artworks do you left to make?”

“Around 3-4 left. I have ideas already, but I’m still brainstorming.” You internally rejoiced, loving how much progress you’ve made. “How about you, Jaehyun? How’s your progress?”

Unlike you, Jaehyun still felt stuck. Although he did find couples around the village, none of them intrigued him as much as his past stories. But he won’t give up easily; that’s not in his work ethic.

“Still searching, but I’ll get there.”

Recently, you got ahold of some of Jaehyun’s books from him personally since they weren’t sold in the village. You wanted to understand how he became so well known outside the labels people put him under. Reading his first novel entitled “Des Papillons” (Butterflies), it was about a couple separated during World War II without contact or knowledge about their well-being. Yet whenever they saw butterflies on the day they parted, they took it as a sign that the other was alive wherever they were.

You’re always hanging on the cliff when the scenes revert back and forth to the main male lead getting stuck in intense war scenarios, rooting for him to get out alive each time. In the end, it took 7 years before they were reunited and wed.

Jaehyun had a wonderful way with his words and descriptions, managing to enwrap you in as if you’re also a character in the book. Like how you rooted for that male lead, you’re rooting for him to find his spark again.

Following this uplifting conversation, Jaehyun finally took to your greatly anticipated spot. It was the main viewpoint of Gordes, one of the most beautiful hilltop villages in the country. The sunset was about to hit, and the lights from the city across you slowly turned on like a bunch of dominos.

As you marveled at its aesthetics, Jaehyun leaned against the hood of his car. He sensed how in awe you were, more than you ever were in the city he assumed. So used to the city that being surrounded with nature became foreign to you.

He took out his polaroid camera from his trunk and captured a photo of you from behind. The shutter sounds were obvious, turning your back at the commotion. Jaehyun fanned the freshly printed photo to dry, giving a mischievous smile.

“What can I say? While you’re fawning over the view, mine was more enamoring.”

Although Jaehyun felt overwhelmed the first time he locked eyes with you, he can’t resist the power of his developing feelings for you. The more time he took you around, the more his heart found different details about you to admire. After listening to all those love stories in the past, the people he spoke to shared how there will be some distinct moment where your heart decides who they’re longing for.

That exact view of you by the cliff, he already knew.

He’s infatuated by you.

“Tu es très ringard, Jaehyun.” (You’re so cheesy, Jaehyun.) You scoffed sassily, with a hand on your waist.

“Un gentleman ne ment jamais, (Y/N). Allez, il fait nuit maintenant.” [A gentleman never lies, (Y/N). Come on, it’s night already.]

He cleverly responded, grabbing his car keys from his pocket. The trip back to the village was energizing, putting down the roof of his car to relish the chill breeze of the night weather. You even raised your arms in the air, losing your scarf even from the speed Jaehyun went at!

The two of you belted along to the songs on the radio when the fields were the only ones surrounding you, no neighbors to shout at your rambunctiousness.

The late-night hours drew by so quickly almost like dinner with more of Jaehyun’s friends didn’t happen. Arriving at the front doors of your apartment complex, Jaehyun raced over to your side to open your door. Always maintained proper observation of manners, you appreciated that side of him. Rarely anyone in Paris that you’ve encountered treated you that way because you were a foreigner.

“Bonsoir, (Y/N).” [Goodnight, (Y/N).]

“Bonsoir, Jaehyun. Quand est-ce que je te revois?” (Goodnight, Jaehyun. When can I see you again?)

“Demain et après-demain. Appelle-moi quand tu es libre.” (Tomorrow, and the day after that. Just give me a call when you’re free.)

With a short wave, you entered your building and marched up to the stairs. A good day only meant being tired to the core, ready to crash and fall in your soft bed. Opening your wide windows to let more of the cool breeze in, your eyes easily caught Jaehyun’s classy car still there. As for the owner, he didn’t move an inch from his leaning position.

“Rentre à la maison, Jaehyun! C’est tard!” (Go home, Jaehyun! It’s late!) You shrieked, peeking side to side to make sure none of the neighbors scold you.

Jaehyun laughed wholeheartedly, not budging at all. “La nuit ne fait que commencer, ma chérie.” (The night has just begun, my darling.)

“Comment tu m'as appelé?” (What did you call me?)

Either your ears were fooling you or he addressed you by a divine pet name. The gasp you swallowed, as your entire body tingled with exhilaration. Your mind would simply disregard it like his former teasing words, but your heart begged to differ.

Rather than responding with words, Jaehyun’s voice serenaded you with a wondrous song, C’est Si Bon by Eartha Kitt, that played on the radio earlier. Out of the blue, a random guitar accompaniment followed his baritone vocals.

“En voyant notre mine ravie,”

Against the railing of your wired balcony, your body shifted forward to watch him better.

“Les passants dans la rue, nous envient,”

Your hand perched on your cheek, admiring his talent.

“C'est si bon de guetter dans ses yeux,”

It was like a lullaby, and here you were drowning in its peacefulness. Sensing the passion he gives off in his singing, your heart couldn’t refrain the strings inside from being swayed and tugged.

This was your moment of realization: that you too were smitten.

“Un espoir merveilleux, qui donne le frisson…”

À la mi-juillet de 1957

“Hello, nature!” You greeted brightly as your legs raced the huge garden in his manor. It was the first time he invited you over, too lazy to go out of the city. His social battery needed a recharge for the weekend, so a picnic within his home would do the trick. Additionally, it was an excuse to bring you over after the numerous times you’ve begged him to.

Jaehyun merely shook his head, enjoying the rush of childlike fun in your veins while you squealed and grazed your hands through the flowers.

He carried a wooden basket full of treats his family maids cooked, taking his time to venture through the rows of flowers. They were growing healthily and phenomenally these days, sometimes riding his bike to personally water them since he became busy with writing again. Lately, he found inspiration again, and so he wrote day and night to set them free.

“Voila!” You yanked out a sunflower, sniffing it a little. “Come on, Jaehyun! Pick up a few for our lunch!”

He followed your order, picking out some he found ideal. But just for fun, he put down the basket and carried you from behind out of the blue. You tried kicking him away, but his muscular arms can’t compete with your soft ones.

“What are you doing?”

“You said to pick up a flower, so I did. The prettiest of them all.”

His flirtatious words were never serious, yet you took it as a compliment. That’s how high your confidence is. Only we define our own worth, not others. The two of you chatted more about your lives until the first rain of the season poured down, chilling down from the raging heat. None of you had an umbrella; the weather was too unpredictable.

Deciding to just run for it, he gave you the wooden basket to protect yourself whilst he used the blanket you’ve sat on. Running with laughter to return to his mansion in the muddy dirt, the cool drops shivered your figure yet felt fantastic.

If you were in the city, you’d panic because it’d mess your appearance and your boss would be infuriated by your unprofessionalism. But in the countryside, it didn’t matter at all. The condition of the rain wasn’t budging to improve, getting stronger by the minute. His entire house even lost power, his housemaids having to bring candles to his bedroom and your assigned one once night dawned.

It was hopeless to return home for you, plus it’s dangerous to drive in in the dark, narrow streets too. Jaehyun handed you some of his fresh clothes so you’d be free from flinching from cold dress sticking to your body.

“Get dressed and some sleep, (Y/N).”

Nodding, you excused yourself to find the bathroom. You’d assume it’d be easy, but this was your first time in his house; a mansion even. Doors from left to right, long corridors that seemed never-ending, no maids were within the vicinity whom you can ask for guidance.

Resorting to return to Jaehyun’s chamber for help, you were taken aback by what your eyes laid on. In front of his full mirror, he discarded his now-dried shirt. Even with the dim lighting, you could make out that he was fit by the transparent view of his abdomen. Peeping like this was wrong, yet you couldn’t turn away just yet. The heat in your cheeks was inevitable, finding composure in such an unholy sight.

Though a gear in you suddenly twisted; a gear that straightened your nerves. You’re taking a bold move on the chessboard of your feelings. Wholly opening his bedroom door again, you leisurely sauntered inside without warning.

“Oh, (Y/N)! Ne peux pas trouver la salle de bain?” (Oh, (Y/N)! Can’t find the bathroom?)

Unbothered as he stood shirtless, you on the other hand silently dropped his clothes on the floor. Holding intense eye contact, your fingers graciously unzipped the side of your dress. Inch by inch, the tension built up like the strong tiny flames lit on the candles around you two. Joining the pile of clothes, all that remained were your white lace undergarments. Unplanned for the get-go, it’s the ideal set for your earlier outfit at the picnic.

“Je me suis perdue, mais je pense avoir trouvé quelque chose de mieux.” (I got lost, but I think I found something better.)

Your fingers grazed your arm up to your collarbones, faking your naivety. From your lust-filled stare, the glint in Jaehyun’s eyes darkened. He gulped at the revealing sight of you, brushing his hair back to restrain himself.

None of you could utter a single word, only the vivacious rain being the only sounds ringing around you. Thus, you allowed your actions to pursue precisely what you desired to do.

Taking baby steps towards him to test the waters, he met you right in the center and closed the leftover space. His hands cradled your face, whilst yours clung to his chest. His lips tasted like red wine, watching him pour in a glass for himself earlier. He did offer, yet you declined.

Your tongue darted his lower lip, gaining access after. Sensing the edge of his bed, you plopped yourself down the cushion. His knee urged your legs to widen, letting his body slide in. From your face, his fingers lowered to the back of your bra, snapping the clasps open.

“It takes skill to accomplish that in one try, Jaehyun.”

“I lived in Paris too, ma chérie. You out of all people would understand and have the experience.”

His palms massaged your freed breasts, throwing your head back even more to his pillows as his lips ravaged down from your stomach until the fabric of your not-so pure panties.

“Call me that again, please.”

“Ma chérie, seras-tu mienne?” (My darling, will you be mine?) He kissed and licked the tiny ribbon in front repeatedly, where your now-swollen clit laid. It electrified your bones, pulling on to his ruffled hair.

“Tu peux m'avoir.” (You can have me.)

Sex in the form of one-night stands were all you’ve invested; upcoming artists like you weren’t capable to maintain long-term relationships. Les plans à trois even if you’re extra freaky or drunk from the afterparties of your events. All that these occurrences had in common were not seeing those men ever again after sneaking out of their apartments in the morning.

This time, it’s different.

When they said that doing the deed with someone you’re romantically entangled with was more special, they didn’t bluff. You could plan bits of your life, but it can sometimes change aspects of it when you least expect it. Sometimes for the best or the worst, but right now, it went beyond your expectations.

It’s rewarding that the man you’ve slowly fallen for within your stay returned your affections.

Around late 3 am that night, your brain jolted with artistic ideas that awoken your sonorous rest. There are no hopes of sleeping them off because they tend to bother you for hours until you do something about it. But you’re already so cozy having Jaehyun’s arms around you, skin to skin under the duvet. His lips daunted right above your forehead, recalling his endless kisses there that helped you fall asleep.

Well, these ideas don’t work themselves unless you do. Untangling him tactfully, you stepped out of the blanket and wore one of his long white shirts he gave you earlier before pulling out your sketchpad and palette of oil paints.

Luckily, there was still one available candle to use as the rest have melted indefinitely. You slid the matchstick again to the sand surface, boring a flame from the friction which you placed on top of the wick.

All your ideas that night leaned towards one thing, or person rather: Jaehyun.

You spent a few minutes retracing how he vividly looked at the picnic, leaning back from the chair of his work desk. His outfit of a turquoise turtleneck underneath a white button-top with trousers matching the said turtleneck looked good together, how his ears tingled red after you complimented his newfound inspiration for his book, and the prominent veins in his arms when he rolled his sleeves due to the heat.

The thin brush you held defined the shape of his face, then paying attention to the messy strands of his hair. Stroking in a circular way to outline his eyelids, a hoarse grunt disturbed the peaceful silence.

“Get back in bed, ma chérie.” His eyes drowsily opened, lying on his side. The moment he no longer felt your warmth, he worried something happened. Instead, you’re working late at night after quite a rough yet romantic night.

“Shush,” You shunned him down with your index finger. “Give me a few more minutes.”

“Perhaps, are you painting me?” He hunched from the covers. “Your eyes looking back and forth would never lie to me, would they?”

“Maybe…” You teased, batting your eyes at him without any risky intentions. Or not?

He deeply chuckled, sluggishly removing himself under the covers. In his pure nudity, he advanced himself towards you. You shrieked, covering yourself with your free hand.

“Jaehyun, stay back! I told you I’ll be there soon!”

Not listening, he carried your bridal style, making you drop your precious palette to the fur rug. Laying you carefully, he popped each button open. By the sight of his cock hardening again, you knew you were in for another round with him.

“Wet again, ma chérie? Oh, this will be fun.”

Fin de juillet 1957

So this kind of summer romance concept that everyone fantasized about… it became your present.

Together you’d stroll in the smaller streets and immerse yourselves in the unique culture of the village. Whenever anyone saw you together, holding hands, biking, or what-not, they’d praise in the name of love for bringing you both together. A romance like yours in the countryside was a lively sight.

Remember how extensions were a possibility if your search for inspiration wasn’t found? Well, it’s not a question that you’d make one, except inspiration found you instead. And he had one arm around you as he slow danced with you in the open grounds of the village, listening to the live band covering song classics.

In particular, Chet Baker. He was Jaehyun’s favorite artist at the moment.

There was an ongoing week-long festival dedicated to summer, giving more plants their bloom and spreading gratitude to the hardworking people. Especially the students, off on their break.

The faint radiance from the post lights as Jaehyun swayed you around, making you laugh as he tried to mumble the lyrics of the song. All those glasses of wine he tried earlier with you from the bartender offering it for free had its effects, and you weren’t off the hook from them either.

Blisters started to form from your ankles, adjusting to the new pair of heels Jaehyun gave (or insisted to buy) you a while ago after staring at them like lasers. You’ve always provided things for yourself that being spoiled by someone else felt weird to you.

“If there’s anything you want me to buy for you, just tell me.”

“How can I buy you if you’re already mine?”

His smooth talk often made you punch his shoulder, but it’s just a mechanism to hide the exhilaration.

Under each other’s spells in your dance, you laid your head on Jaehyun’s chest. Feeling the strong beat of his heart, you were reminded of how much life he’s filled with. And you became a part of it, in the same way he crossed yours.

Jaehyun’s lips sank to the top of your head, pecking it affectionately. The first-ever summer where he wasn’t stuck at his desk working or drinking his life away with his rich friends in their Parisian homes, it couldn’t get better than this.

“Oiii! Flirtez ailleurs!” (Oiii! Flirt somewhere else!) The distinct voice of Jaemin, handing out pastries to passersby, shouted at the both of you, making you flip your middle finger at him.

“Trouve une copine d’abord, d’accord?!” (Find a girlfriend first, alright?!) You shouted back jokingly, almost falling due to the ache of your feet. Your immodest behavior was censored by Jaehyun’s large palms, not wanting the kids around to see it. Whispering closely to your ear,

“Tu es ivre. Laisse-moi te ramener chez toi.” (You’re drunk. Let me take you home.)

You changed back into your sandals as Jaehyun led you through the different alleys. Your vision was too hazy to navigate, so he had one arm wrapped around your shoulders. The weather grew cold too, shivering your bones so he draped you in his blazer.

“Wait,” You stopped, making him do the same. But before he could ask for your reason, your hands yanked him by his suspenders and your legs walked backward to reach the brick wall. Standing in his 5’11 glory, you were overpowered.

Yet your lips captured his effortlessly, raising to your toes to press yourself closer to him. He moved fast, one arm hugging your waist while the other hoisted your leg up. Tangling around his waist, the urge to move your hips against his crotch couldn’t be contained any longer.

Everyone was probably still out at this time or sleeping. The sloppy sounds you’ve produced were beyond suitable for any audience. Not to mention, the nasty words Jaehyun’s pretty mouth spoke in your ears desired you to fall to your knees.

“Not afraid of getting caught, ma chérie? You want me to ruin you right here, right now?”

“God, Jaehyun,” Your hands tugged his belt forward, the friction it gave to your core twitched the naughty side out of you. “Do it, please.”

The idea of public sex thrilled your mind into overdrive, yet you’ve never done it. In Paris, a city where several people started to know your name, you didn’t need a scandal to be plastered in your resume yet.

Jaehyun himself included, and still opted not to give it to you.

“Another time, ma chérie. Your apartment, now.”

The moment you unlocked your apartment door, Jaehyun was far from gentle like in the mansion. Ripping you out of your frilly dress didn’t take long, so was unbuttoning his trousers down to the floor.

On your knees, his hand gave you a makeshift ponytail as your tongue flicked the slit of his cock. Then slowly taking him inch by inch on your mouth, you’d let out a loud pop when you needed to breathe. Your hands fondling his balls, he groaned from the edge of your bed and tightened his hold on you. Tears formulated in your eyes as you got to swallow him whole, uncontrollably bobbing your head.

He felt like putty when he released, your throat taking the salty base. You hastily unhooked your bra in front of him when suddenly, his hand flicked on the fabric of your panties, cueing you to stop your motion.

“Keep them on when you ride me.”

Straddling on his lap, his head laid against the headboard of his bed. His arms roaming around your back to stabilize you, your fingers pushed your panties to the side as you pushed yourself down his protected length. Your moans became shaky. Up and down, you bounced while bracing on his shoulders.

Against his ear, your moans were harmonious. His hips moved against your beat, hitting your g-spot like the sexual ace he is. His thumb rubbing your clit, you shuttered your eyes at the impending high approaching you like a bus.

“I’m close.” You choked out, the overstimulation overwhelming your nerves.

“Fuck, me too.” He grunted, slapping your butt that made you shriek.

Soon enough, everything hit you both all at once. The knot snapped, and so did your body falling on his chest after a single scream. Panting, Jaehyun pecked on your temple as his cock softened up. Once you returned to your senses, you lifted yourself from his length, laying bare beside him.

His eyes started to fall, but before they did, he muttered huskily. “Je t’aime, (Y/N).”

It was the first time he’s said those words in the way they meant, and he’s more than certain that it’s what he felt with you. Sure, it started as mutual infatuation, but now, it can’t leave. Not on his watch.

Love was a concept unfamiliar to you, but Jaehyun slowly taught you what it was and how it felt like. Books and films may give sneak peeks, but to personally give and receive it back was made possible by him.

From this moment on, you could conclude that yes, you reciprocated it.

“Je t’aime aussi, Jaehyun.”

16 octobre 1957

Autumn made its way to the countryside.

The leaves switched into red-brown shades, the weather in the south was warmer, and the wine harvest was highly anticipated. Jaehyun’s camera was a common item in your outings, taking as many photos as he could so the two of you had something to look back on.

Planned and candid, his range was wide. These were moments that proved that your youth was as happy as you wished it to be. You wouldn’t trade it for anything else.

Painting in his mansion was a regular thing, having new canvases prepared at his patio. There were so many items that amused you there like you could base your entire collection on his home. It’s not like Jaehyun could argue; it meant more time with you whenever you came over.

“Jaehyun, if you smudge paint on me, so help me Go-” He refused to listen to your “threats”, smearing black paint on your cheek.

“You were saying?” He cockily pestered, showcasing his paint-filled fingers. You dipped one of your brushes into the new paint and chased after him without hesitation. The entire evening became a paint war, a laugh fit even after seeing your reflections in the mirror. But before you could clean yourself, Jaehyun’s camera was by your face and he pressed the button.

“Still breathtaking.”

But the middle of the season arrived, that’s where your planned extension you’ve reached its end. The exhibit was next month, getting calls from your boss regarding your return and the paintings you’ll present. You informed her that you already had them mailed to your studio way back, so there’s nothing much to worry about.

All your bags were packed in the private car Jaehyun rented. Here, you’re bidding your goodbyes to every friend you’ve made outside the doors of your apartment complex, saving your last words with Jaehyun.

The night before, he stayed over and helped you pack your last items in luggage bags. He even brought extra clothes for you so you wouldn’t work extra. You’ve talked it out the whole evening through what happens next to ease your worries. In your bed, he opened the wide windows and pulled you under the sheets.

“Write to me.”

“Call me when you’re free, or whenever you feel like it.”

Leaning against the railing of the stairs, watched the sorrow in your face over this parting. He sensed how bittersweet everything was, but he wouldn’t change anything about it. He’s positive that your story won’t end here, not right now.

Sauntering to him, you sighed whilst taking your bag he held the whole time from him. His touch was tighter as the two of you hugged tenderly, nuzzling his head on your shoulder. The scent of his citrus cologne that implanted in your brain felt comforting, despite the uncertainty of everything between you.

You hinted a minty taste from the menthol candies from his home as his lips brushed yours, colliding it timely. He waited when everyone left, relishing these last seconds.

Stepping inside the vehicle, you waved your summer love farewell one more time before the driver hit the pedal. Your eyes couldn’t stray away from looking back, the distance between him and your former apartment widening. Only when he was no longer in the frame, you shifted your focus back in front.

Your fingers fiddled with the charm bracelet he gifted you from the market. It was custom-made by a jeweler who was great friends with his mother in his younger years. There were two pendants chained on it: a paintbrush and the sun.

“A paintbrush to remind you of your passion, and the sun to remind you of the summer we first met.”

The man was like one of his romance books, in human form. He knew how to catch your breath effortlessly.

Your stay, for now, may have concluded, but there was always next summer. And the ones after that. The village felt like a second home, one you can’t neglect like the other places you��ve lived. Then having Jaehyun here, the more reasons to return.

Undoubtedly the best vacation you’ve ever been in your adult years, one that didn’t sacrifice for your art so you could compete with other artists. The weight on your chest poofed into thin air, and you felt ready for what the next steps as a painter were.

Appreciating the greenery you passed by, you peeked over the side mirror of the car only to find Jaehyun quickly biking in your direction.

Now, what was he up to?

You instantly requested the driver to slow down his pace, rolling down the window of the car. Not caring about the strong winds, “You fool, what are you doing?!”

Although he trusted your last words, he had the greed to see your face again. It would be a long time until he’ll see you in person again. So he pedaled as fast he could to still reach you. Oh, the things you do when you’re in love.

“Mon cœur bat la chamade pour toi, (Y/N)!” [My heart beats loudly for you, (Y/N)!]

You giggled at his silliness, throwing out flying kisses.

“Je reviendrai bientôt, Jaehyun!” (I’ll come back soon, Jaehyun!)

21 octobre 1957

Only your friends at the studio gave you a warm welcome back, receiving comments like “get back to work” from your first encounter with your boss. Popping a champagne glass open after work hours on the rooftop of your studio, they interrogated you with all the questions they could think of.

“So this village in Provence…. was it beautiful as the tourists said?” Ten, who moved from his home in Thailand to Paris at a young age, expressed his curiosity whilst leaning against the railing overlooking the Eiffel Tower.

“Beautiful is an understatement, Ten. I miss it dearly!” You heaved a sigh, twirling your glass.

“So this inspiration you were looking for…” Amélie, your dear friend since your university days, created some tension as she prolonged her last word. Playfulness twinkled in her eyes, crossing her legs. “Was a person involved by any chance?”

For a moment, your throat almost gagged on the sizzling alcohol going down.

“What do you mean?” You acted clueless, pouring your now empty glass with more booze. But the moment Ten gave you the troublesome look coordinating with Amélie, you already knew you wouldn’t hear the end of it. These two were such gossips in and out of the studio.

Ten took the seat across you on the table and leaked all his pent-up information.

“So you know Seo Youngho, the only son of the Seo family. Rich, socialite, a total hotshot… yeah, all that jazz.” He dived in, seeing you nod over knowing that man. Someone in the past you’ve slept with, but that’s another story. “Well, Amelie and I attended one of his parties at his large penthouse. He had his usual crowd there; Kim Doyoung, Lee Taeyong, Nakamoto Yuta, and Lee Minhyung. But fun fact: there’s another member in that friend group who doesn’t go to these kinds of events.”

“Here’s where it gets interesting,” Amélie excitedly took off like the pipelette (chatterbox) she is. “Youngho, who was talking to us for a bit, asked where you’ve run off. Poor him, he must’ve missed you in his bed but anyway! We told him that you went down south somewhere in Provence for a break. Oddly enough, he mentioned how the mentioned member moved back there for the same reason.”

Ten and Amélie gave each other another frisky look, merely to piss you off. So predictable of them.

“Get to the point please!” You screeched.

“Jeong Jaehyun, ever heard of him?” Amélie imitated your tone of voice. “I mean, you should since you made a whole painting of him.”

“H-How,” Speechless, that’s what you were. Ten went on a fit of giggles, signaling the build-up of his intoxication.

“Youngho visited the studio to find a specific painting for his home, and we helped him in choosing. Then when your deliveries of paintings arrived that day and were unwrapped, the look on his face when he saw Jaehyun’s painting was priceless. Things started to add up, especially when he told us that he called up Jaehyun prior, he said that Jaehyun was seeing a girl during his stay there.”

“A young, burnt-out painter from Paris, to be specific.”

They’ve put you on the edge of the cliff, and it was too close to call it a coincidence. Of all things to be revealed, this had to be the first.

“Well, I was waiting for another time to tell you guys about him though.”

Their gasps of joy could give you guys a noise complaint by the neighbors, telling all about your escapades of him and you. During it, the more you missed seeing him daily either on his bike or his car. It was stuck in your routine, but now it’s reverted to your old one.

Could the next summer come any faster?

14 février 1958

Perhaps your newest collection at the Louvre was your most successful one yet.

Entitled “Inspirez, Expirez” (Breathe In, Breathe Out), your sceneries during your stay in the village varied. An old couple slow dancing under the night sky, and the quiet district of shops Jaehyun took you, those were some of your last additions.

A multitude of positive reviews on the newspapers and art magazines came in, commending on taking on a fresher, brighter outlook for a change whilst finding your spark again. As fulfilling it was, what you longed the most was the one responsible for it.

Lately, it’s been tough to contact him. His maids always answered the calls, informing you that he was busy with work or family matters. It’s so rare for him to act like this. Whatever it was, it wasn’t grand or serious hopefully.

Back to your collection, tonight was the last night of it. Just in time for Valentine’s day, where numerous socialite lovers embarked on this event, but you’re more fixated that it was also Jaehyun’s birthday. A boy full of love born on the day dedicated for it, things made more sense. In case, you’ve sent your birthday wishes to him through letter and passing the message to one of his maids. Even on his special day, he hasn’t reached out to you.

But to momentarily forget about that, there was a closing ceremony held for this exhibit with the other artists involved, and it was your turn to give your final remarks. More esteemed socialites and journalists were present, which didn’t halt your nerves the slightest. You were a professional after all, holding pride in your craft as you stood in front of the microphone wearing your new favorite custom-made gown.

There are perks when you have close friends in the fashion industry, specifically Kim “Key” Kibum from the House of Key. After defending him from a disrespectful client when you were picking up a dress for your boss during your internship years, not only did you earn his respect, but an invite to his shows and first claiming of new items from his collections. Dining in expensive restaurants in the metro was a plus, catching up on your lives. Sometimes calling each other out for your sexcapades too.

Speaking of him, he was in the crowd that night, ordering every photographer to take photos of your gorgeous self in one of his dresses. Or in your opinion, bribing some by how he stuffed a few thick stacks of Euro bills down their pockets.

Only one of it ever made. A dark green satin v-neck off-the-shoulder gown, where diamonds adorned your neck and ears and white stilettos kept your perfect balance. Also courtesy of Key.

Because it’s the winter season, he gifted you a limited edition white fur coat every socialite tried getting their hands on. Your hair was styled in a bun, emphasizing your dark tinted lips from this new lipstick Amelie insisted you buy.

Most people would get the first impression that you were one of the socialites, a child from one of the affluent families even. But you were a lot more remarkable than that, having inborn talent in the arts that you specialized over your youth and rising to the top without any parental help.

“Thank you to everyone for their endless support towards the magnificent collections of each artist present. As for mine, I am grateful to rechannel my creative side by taking a break. Rather than romanticizing overworking our bones to the core, there’s nothing wrong with taking a step back from the pressure. Being alive is a blessing, realizing further how our youth won’t stay with us forever. Being away from the boisterous cities, I found relaxation in the countryside of Provence.”

Your lips quirked into a grin as every single memory during that time reeled in your head like a movie. “The beauty of Provence cannot be simply put in words. The muses I’ve encountered were more than lovely, especially the man behind the Poetic Rose. With that, I sincerely thank everyone from my bottom of my heart and I hope to continue to support me in the years to come.”

The applause roared once you stepped down the platform, shaking hands with every esteemed guest with more gratitude as they praised you. These days, socializing with them was a lot easier. You’ve even taken more initiative to greet people first before they do, conversing with them easily about anything.

Key definitely noticed that as you toured him around your section, holding his nth glass of wine for the night.

“You, Madame (Y/N), transformed into a social butterfly.” He nudged your shoulder, smirking once he got a better view of his favorite painting from you. “I guess that’s the thing when you’re in love.”

“I beg your pardon?”

With this free hand, he motioned it up and down at the painting in front of you. “The Poetic Rose is none other than the youngest son of the Jeong family, whom I’ve met through his older sister, Krystal.”

“Am I really the only one who doesn’t know him?!” You stressed, jokingly. Key was elated to capture you in his trap, the changes of your personality too evident in his eyes. Figuring it out that it was love took a while, but being acquainted with Krystal, she’s the one who told him that her younger brother was in love with a painter in Provence. Do the math.

“I’ve met him through his older sister, one of my highly favored clients. He’s not much of a socialite like her, so I don’t really blame you for that.”

Searching for a waiter to refill your wine glasses, a surprise emerged the both of you.

“Madame Krystal, you’re absolutely stunning.” Key complimented her, giving the engaged heiress of Jeong Tea Inc. kisses on the cheek as respect. Her recent engagement to Kim Donghyun, her childhood sweetheart and also the heir of Kim Couture, was the talk of the town.

They arrived at the event together, drawing the attention of everyone in the room earlier. Now, he was speaking to a few influential socialites he made a deal with this week about the art collections present.

“Key, you never fail to look fantastic,” She remarked positively, poking his necktie before placing her undivided attention on you. “So you must be (Y/N) (Y/L/N). You’re beyond bewildering in that gown.”

“Flattered to hear that, Madame Krystal. Such a pleasure to meet you.”

The three of you chatted as if you were the only people there. From art, passion, and love, pride filled in your chest when you toured your collection. It was like walking down memory lane for her, adding out how she used to climb the peach tree with her younger brother during their childhood. Once her eyes laid on Poetic Rose, she took her time admiring it.

“My younger brother grew up well. That’s all I could ever hope for as his only older sister.” She paused, noticing how silent you became when you stared at the painting along with her. She observed the passion lit in your eyes, yet there was longing behind it by the way your lips pouted briefly. “You must really love him, do you?”

“I do, truly. After meeting him, not only was I boosted with so much ideas, but my heart embraced him for what and who he is in this universe.” You professed confidently, earning an approving smile from Krystal.

“If that’s how you feel, why not tell him that yourself?”

Her fingers gestured you to turn around. Stood in a grey suit with his brown hair slicked back, it was like seeing a completely new person. A handsome one though. His fashion in the countryside heavily differed from his fashion in the cities. So sophisticated and refined, he looked like a prince straight out of a fairytale.

Your fairytale.

“Jaehyun.”

It’s like everything stopped once he sprinted towards you, pulling you off your feet for a snug hug. Your arms threw themselves on his neck by instinct, not wasting a single second in his grasp. Your nose inhaled the woody scent of his cologne, something more formal than his usual fruity scent.

The smell of aftershave in his jaw couldn’t go ignored either, assuming that he must have had plans to go out tonight. Nonetheless, you squealed as if you were back in Provence, giggling at his boldness. Once he put you down, neither of you could get your hands off each other.

“What are you doing here? You didn’t tell me you’d be in Paris!” Clutching your waist, you gazed at him with doe-like eyes, instilling confusion.

“J’ai voulu te surprendre, my chérie.” (I wanted to surprise you, my darling.)

He chuckled, pushing some straying strands of your hair behind your ear. His eyes evoked so much endearment towards this elegant look you prepared, making his heart race as if he were in the gardens of his manor again.

Hearing his petname for you again attacked your heart every time no matter how much time passed, he lifted your chin high. Jaehyun urged himself to kiss you senseless right there, leaning lower. And yes, you anticipated it by how your eyes instantly closed.

Only if it weren’t for Krystal to clear her throat, obviously ruining the mood. Flinching away from your sensual lover, you rubbed the nape of your neck. Towards an heiress like her, it must’ve been unprofessional.

“Couldn’t you at least wait until I left, younger brother?” Her fingers flicked Jaehyun’s forehead, a teasing trick they used to do as kids. Even if she was a lot shorter now, it didn’t mean the impact was weak. He cursed under his breath, covering his forehead.

Stifling your laughter was a failure, crinkling your eyes to unleash your emotions. So this is what their sibling dynamic was like?

“Now excuse me, older sister. You didn’t tell me you were visiting the exhibit after my birthday dinner with our parents?” He crossed his arms, exchanging a judgmental look. For his sake, he wanted to maintain his pride. “All you said after dinner was that you were going straight home with your fiancé after all the alcohol mother gave you because it made you lightheaded.”

“Well, you know Key and his persuasiveness. He insisted I attend this event last minute because all the collections were amazing.” She explained, shedding a subtle glance at you. “Plus, it’s an excuse to finally meet this lovely girl you raved so much through your letters.”

Jaehyun kept his family life private, so this piece of information was new to you. The unpredicted way the fluttering feeling drew in your stomach, all you could do was smile from the flattery.

“He spoke about me to you?”

“More than speak, my dear. He practically professed his love for you, asking me advice on how to court a girl, make them smile, etcetera. You’re the first girl he’s been this affectionate with, and I completely understand now.” She patted your shoulder, hopeful. She had such a strong older sister vibe, reminding you of your older siblings back home. “You’re a clever, talented woman. I look forward to seeing you more often.”

As you nodded in approval, she turned towards her brother with her recurring teasing look. “Yah, Jaehyun. You better take care of her. If she ever sheds a tear because of you, I’m hunting you down in the gardens.”

“Harsh of you, Krystal.” He planted his hand on his chest, feigning pain. “But no worries. Having you and mother around me kept me well-mannered towards women growing up.”

Playfulness aside, Krystal felt honored towards her younger brother. Men these days maintained their sexist beliefs and rudeness, especially those who doubted her high position in the family business once her father stepped down. Nowadays, it’s men like Jaehyun who could really challenge the patriarchy and make women pursue a lot more than being limited as a housewife.

“I’ll keep that in mind. Now please excuse me, I’ll be on my way.”

Krystal waltzed her way out without tripping from her slight intoxication, which Jaehyun worried about earlier. But anyway, that left him alone with you. Filled with so many questions, you didn’t know where to start.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming to Paris? Why didn’t you acknowledge my birthday wishes to you? Why aren’t you answering my calls and letters?” You blurted without wasting a breath, weren’t trying to come off as needy, but it became peculiar when he was contacting you like usual.

You pushed off thinking of the worst scenarios, not wanting it to ruin your drive and your emotions either. Yet you trusted Jaehyun enough to know he wasn’t the type of person either.

“Okay slow down, ma chérie.” His hands maneuvered for you to stop for a bit. “Ask me one by one and I’ll give you a solid answer for each while we roam around.”

He arrived in Paris last week, which was initially for work. Then his birthday clashing was a coincidence. It would be too lonely to go home and celebrate his special day alone, so he extended. But again, it’s his work that caused his abrupt contact.

When you were too busy delving into the success of recovering your inspiration, he also found his spur to write again too. Day and night, his mind kept him tedious with an endless trail of thoughts and words. Overall, he finalized it then brought the end product to the same publishing house where his books in the past went through.

In fact, he decided to publish them specifically today on his birthday. The only day in his itinerary he planned, where after publishing, he’d hang out with his friends, have dinner with his family then run off to reunite with you.

“I didn’t intend to make you feel like a second choice, so please forgive me for that, ma chérie.”

“All is forgiven, Jaehyun.” You held both his hands, kissing them tenderly out of habit. “I’m overjoyed that you rekindled your creative side again.”

You were so understanding and empathetic, and Jaehyun aimed to act that way too. He learned so much from you as his friend before being his lover. Quickly enough, you’re both back to his portrait in the center. Like a critic, he narrowed his eyes and scrunched his nose. Tapping his chin with his finger,

“This man in Poetic Rose, he’s quite dashing.” He commented with conceit, walking closer to it to view it better. “His freckles are on point, his dimples and dazzling eyes too. Why exactly is he described as a Poetic Rose?”

“Well sir,” You stood beside him, imitating his actions. “This man here always spoke so eloquently, like he had a very poetic approach on life. He reminded me also of a rose by his rosy tinted cheeks and his beauty. He was alluring inside and out.”

“Is he your favorite muse?”

“I never quoted him as a muse because he’s more than that. Muses can be replaced once they no longer serve purpose towards the artist. Though with him, he’s the never-ending flame that I want to keep for the rest of time."

You held on to his hand, interlocking your fingers with his. The apparent reddening of his ears proved that he was flustered, yet you spoke no lies.

“Joyeux anniversaire, ma flamme.” (Happy birthday, my flame.)

“Merci beaucoup, ma chérie.” (Thank you, my darling.)

Something about his new release piqued your attention so you brought it up again.

“So tell me about your new book.”

“Let me show you instead.” Inside the blazer, there was an inner pocket that sealed a small hardbound book. Taking it out, he handed it over to you. “This is your copy.”

The cover of the book had an illustration of two young adults running down the fields under the bright sun, with the title written in cursive and placed in the center.

“L’Été de 1957.” (The Summer of 1957.)

Like a child who received a new gift in the mail, you flipped the book open. Seeing the table of contents and credits to other important people involved in the process, there was a detailed dedication right before the starting chapter. It’s an unexpected page, noticing that he never put anything like this in his last works.

“Pour ma chérie, qui a peint les couleurs manquantes de ma vie.” (For my darling, who painted the missing colors of my life.)

Although Jaehyun planned to write about the couples he met in the countryside, he chose to change his perspective. Instead, he based this new book on your summer romance, installing more original characters who made your romance blossom more.

“I was once so engaged in listening to people’s love stories, hung up on what they felt.” He expounded, pacing around the floor whilst you skimmed through the pages. There were black and white photos from your adventures too to wrap the reader further in the story.

“While I was struggling to find the next story, I realized late that my story with you was a perfect choice. When I fell in love with you, it’s like I didn’t have to fret anymore about anything. Everything slowly yet surely aligned into place for me. Like how we found inspiration in each other.”

A poetic speaker meant having a poetic, wise mind. You kept an open mind whenever Jaehyun shared his thoughts on life with you, an intimate time that didn’t require using your bodies. Whether you were stargazing or drinking wine by his patio, his soulful personality never changed.

“So I recapped every single memory we had and compiled them,” He resumed, taking a closer step towards yours. His warm hands grasped your waist again, catching a glimpse of your astonished face. Mostly, towards your lips that he missed feeling against his.

“This book expressed my own take on love this time, the one I want to grow in.”

You’d care less if you dropped the book and your coat right there, your major desire to kiss him again was driving your senses to the edge of a cliff. Nothing could’ve braced yourself the second you fervently collided your lips with his. It didn’t feel like you were in this exhibit, but somewhere back in his mansion engulfed in each other’s presence.

Your legs almost melted by your daring move, if it weren’t for Jaehyun’s arm moving upwards to your back to stabilize you more. Your body tingled with goosebumps due to his relaxing fingers all over your body. His tongue caved in your lips, and you couldn’t ban its access.

Such an explicit sight, it felt forbidden as you were inches away from the public crowd. Yet it was the least of your worries if they made a big fuss over it. Jaehyun was here again with you, and that was more valuable to you. He savored every trace of your touches, taking his delicate time with you. No past birthday could defeat this, especially when it’s the first one to celebrate with you. The first of many.

As much you wanted to keep this up for hours, your lungs started feeling constricted of air so your lips timidly let go. Though your hands couldn’t, your overwhelmed eyes couldn’t shift away from the heart-stopping view of your lover. Wherein even after such a fearless session, his eyes fused with love and need with his plumper lips.

“Everything about Provence, especially you, that’s the life I want.” You confessed this concealed secret that’s revolved your head for a while now. Yet its certainty was true.

“Are you sure, ma chérie? What about work?” As an artist, he believed you should stay where everything is accessible. Yet as his woman, he wanted you to follow your heart. Jaehyun didn’t want you to choose or struggle.

“I’ve grown out from the idea that the city life was the only life meant of an artist like me.” You replied, confident enough to discuss it after deep thought. “Cities like Paris hold exciting, vigorous flames that will have you clinging on to them. But then, they’ll eventually die the longer you stay. You get burned in the process too. However, I stand by what I said earlier. I found an endless flame when I met and began loving you, Jaehyun. It doesn’t sting at all; it illuminates strongly every living day.”

Urging him to lower his stance with your fingers, you stated one last phrase. “Wherever you are, that’s where I want to be.”

“If that’s the case,” Jaehyun acknowledged, sticking his arm out for you. “Let’s get out of here.”

Astounded expressions crowded the socialites in the event as they watched the both of you exit together. If the news of Krystal and Donghyun weren’t crazy enough, some journalists figured the mysterious man behind The Poetic Rose and spread it like wildfire.

How was the youngest son of the Jeong family turned renowned romance novel author connected to the impressive, up-and-coming painter from London?

What really went down in Provence?

“How can you miss out on the signs? Did you not see them share a kiss earlier?” Key protested to those who weren’t approving whatever relationship you guys had. He loved his tea but hated those who simply were money hungry. Wanting a chance to be a part of the rich family, only to fish them out of their riches sooner or later.

Meanwhile, the winter season didn’t stop any of you from roaming the streets of Paris. Moments like these were a preview of the future you’ve envisioned with Jaehyun. Youthful, free, and fiery, a love between two artists created more magic not just in their crafts but to those around them.

Promenading a street overlooking the Seine River, Jaehyun took out a smaller instant camera from his pocket and took a candid shot of you. Stunned, you slapped his chest with your bag.

“Hey! Just how many more things are hidden in your blazer?”

“Just my wallet and a few condoms. Why’d you ask?” He raised a suggestive brow, feigning good intentions.

You hummed, faking your deep thought mindset. “At this rate, I don’t think we’ll make it back to my apartment alive.”

Jaehyun tugged you by your coat, his lips hovering your ear to whisper. “If we call a cab right now, I can finger you in the backseat.”

You chuckled at his vulgar idea, but it seemed ideal. You loved the thrill of getting caught or having someone overhearing you two, just like him. Besides, his fingers don’t match up to yours when you touch yourself alone in your apartment. You bat your eyelashes, giving in.

“Deal.”

6 ans plus tard (1964)

Summer returned, the sun strongly smiling down to the plentiful flowers at your family garden. By the patio of your home, your canvas was already laid by the easel stand. Shades of yellow were applied first to symbolize the brightness of the day, following the outline of your desired scenery for this piece.

Dipping the brush in water to change colors, you took another glance at the breezy sky. Light blue with clouds resembling soft pillows, you inhaled gently as your brush faintly stroked the canvas again.

Your hair was tied in a bun, meaning that you’re in for a busy session. But a more soothing one as the jazz music flowed from the vinyl player inside. Stress was the last thing you needed right now.

“What’s madame artiste up to right now?” Your husband piped in from behind, placing down a tray of tea and crackers. With some top buttons of his white top left unattended, you glimpsed on his toned chest when he leaned down. But you mustn’t pry whilst working, even when temptation was calling your name repeatedly.

“The summer sunshine healed me of my discomfort, so I think it’s about time I painted again.” You chewed on the snack, looking back and forth to the view. As enchanting as all the flowers you and him planted over the years grew, you’re more amused by a little boy strolling around it with his magnifying glass and tiny wooden basket with his furry puppy by his side.

His tiny legs often troubled the two of you because he enjoyed spending time with nature. Only God knows what he found in the garden this time.

“Adrien est explorer encore. Devrais-je lui dire qu’il change de place, ma chérie?” (Adrien is exploring again. Should I tell him to change places, my darling?) Jaehyun cautiously asked, not wanting his 3 year old son to impair your perspective.

“Non,” (No,) You held on to his hand, kissing it sweetly. Although you peeved any unnecessary details found in your scenery in the past, Adrien was an exception. As his mother, it’s hard to say no to him unless necessary.

“Il est un garçon curieux, alors il devrait explorer et flâner où il veut.” (He’s a curious boy, so he should explore and wander wherever he wants.)

Life ever since you returned to the countryside shifted into something more precious than you imagined. From moving places constantly, you found a home to settle in for good. A home with overflowing love and inspiration. A home within Jeong Jaehyun.

Recently, you halted your work-related activities in Paris and came home because you were heavily homesick. It even affected your health as a whole. So you made adjustments with your schedules, postponing appearances to events to next year.

On the plus side, you could be more active as a mother to Adrien. It felt like you burdened Jaehyun to take care of Adrien most of the time because he mainly worked from home, wherein important people who wanted to meet him would have to fly out to the countryside.

Back and forth to Paris, your presence towards Adrien often lacked. Here came your biggest fear, which was Adrien forgetting you. But Jaehyun told you over and over again that it wasn’t the case. As he listened to every wrenching thought you had, but he’d combat it with heartfelt words of reassurance so you wouldn’t overanalyze things.

He vowed to love and take care of you when times get hard, and he will continue doing so.

Remember when you said how his mansion felt too big?

It no longer did after getting married.

It gave more room to grow and breathe more life into it. When Adrien was born, he was the prime reflection of your and Jaehyun’s love. He mirrored his father’s physical traits but with a daring personality like yours. A perfect mixture, the world worked amazingly to bring a boy like him into your life.

“Maman! Papa!” Adrien bolted to where you and Jaehyun stood. From the clothes he wore, it’s very much clear that his father was in charge of it whilst you slept in the entire morning. Suspenders, capri shorts, a white shirt, and a red beret, he deserved his title as Jaehyun’s mini-me.

Jaehyun swelled with pride and love for his only son, peeking over what he brought to show and tell you both. “Oh Adrien, what do you have for us today?”

In his basket, there were 3 sunflowers stuck out from the edge. It’s been a while since you’ve seen some in full bloom, lowering your stance to get a more vivid view. He took them out to hand them to you and your husband.

One flower for Jaehyun and two for you. You let out a gasp, scrunching your brows to the center. He always gave one of each item to you and Jaehyun, never more or less.

“Ooh, deux fleurs pour Maman. Pourquoi, Rien?” (Ooh, two flowers for Mama. Why, Rien?) Jaehyun let his nickname out for his lips while you grasped his small hand.

“Well, I heard from Olivier next door that on his birthday, he gave extra flowers to his mother so he could have another sibling. And it worked!” He spoke so innocently, yet it hitched a choke from Jaehyun’s chest. Your eyes widened from disbelief. The information he collected due to his curiosity, no boundaries truly.

“Le mois prochain, c’est mon anniversaire. Je me demandais si je peux avoir un frère ou sœur comme Olivier? Tu es toujours occupée, comme Papa. Je ne veux plus être seul, alors je veux une amie aussi.” (It’s my birthday next month, and I was wondering if I can have a sibling like Olivier? You are always busy, like Papa. I don’t want to be alone anymore, so I want a friend too.)

You exchanged looks with Jaehyun, not knowing how exactly to respond. Although you and Jaehyun did agree that you wanted more than one child when you were younger, neither of you brought it up again since your careers were always loaded with plans.

Adrien was a surprise child actually, conceived on the night where you and Jaehyun celebrated after L’Été de 1957 was announced to be the best-selling romance novel of the decade in the country.

In Paris at his family home, where his parents brought out all their prized liquor, the two of you drank the entire night away to the point Krystal and Donghyun had to push you away from each other from your public affections because their children were present.

But it didn’t stop you two once you reached his bedroom, far away from everything and everyone. And you’ll never change it.

“Oh, Rien,” You eased in, consoling him. “Je suis désolé. Mais c’est franchement une grande demande, n'est-ce pas?” (I am sorry. But that’s quite a big request, right?)

“Mom and I will think about it first, okay? Another kid is a big responsibility, and you’ll be their older brother. That’s another important job, can you do it well?”

“Yes, I can, Papa!” He beamed with glee, his covered head patted by his father after. As you placed the sunflowers beside your palette, Adrien then proceeded to ask you if he could paint with you like old times.

Never you refuse especially with his sparkling round eyes and chubby face that makes you want to squish every time.

As you lifted his light body to sit on your lap, you placed your brush between his stubby fingers and carefully aimed in whatever angle seemed fit so the painting process would run smoothly and perfectly. He let out sounds of amazement when the strokes get bigger, jumping slightly too because the picture became more vivid. You’d smile and coo at him, commending whenever he followed instructions well. As his mother, you only encouraged your child in whatever they want to excel in.

Adrien was the child of two artists, so it was only natural that he had an artistic side in his veins.

Too caught up in your fun, hearing the automatic shutter of the camera from your side was delayed. The source was none other than Jaehyun hiding behind his camera. Jaehyun’s heart soared at the heavenly view of the most important people in his life, wanting to treasure the moment as a lovely memory.

“Hey!” You shouted, placing down the messy brush by the palette. “Je suis très laid!” (I am very ugly!)

“Shh! Tu est rayonnant, ma chérie. Papa est juste, Rien?” (Shh! You are glowing, my darling. Papa is right, Rien?)

Jaehyun politely quizzed the peppy boy, nodding excitedly. His dimples deeply showed up, the main trait he claimed from his father.

“Oui, papa! Maman est toujours belle!” (Yes, papa! Mama is always beautiful!)

He exclaimed, pecking your cheek numerously. You squealed, attacking him with tickles and kisses back. His shouts of delight, then he was suddenly carried by your tall husband in the air like he was flying in the sky. Adrien enjoyed that motion highly, ending up on Jaehyun’s shoulders shortly after to play by the garden again.

“Go paint. I’ll take care of him now.” Jaehyun persuaded, roaming through the long rows of flowers in full bloom. Though seconds after adding some strokes to your piece, you let down your hair, put a hat and sandals on, and ran to the cute duo to join them.

And that’s how your family spent the entire afternoon. By the garden, running around and taking photos and short videos from Jaehyun’s camera. Freezing these valuable memories, this was truly the life you loved so much.

After your break, you could convince the company you worked at that you’d prefer fewer trips to Paris and stay in the countryside longer. How badly you’ve wanted to hold your exhibits here instead. Plus like Jaehyun, let influential people visit you. You’ve already made a big name for yourself now, so that should be valid enough.

Dinner time passed by quickly too, eventually putting Adrien to a smooth slumber as you massaged the roots of his soft hair while Jaehyun sang him a lullaby. This was your joint parenting technique with him since he was a newborn, and it worked quickly as lightning.

You redressed into your silk nightgown after bringing your canvas to the master bedroom, opening the balcony doors to invite the cool breeze in. You tweaked some bits of your painting, including a silhouette of your small family. Regarding where to place it, probably by the living room as it matched the theme.

“What a spectacular day, don’t you think, ma chérie?” Jaehyun conversed, admiring the calm movements of your brush. He noticed a quirky smile grace your lips.

“It’s been a long time since we had quality time like that with Rien. He’s a feisty ball of energy these days.” You replied with a nostalgic daze. “It’s so crazy how one day, he was still crawling to us. Now, he could outrun the both of us.”

“Comme le temps passe vite, hmm?” (How time flies fast, hmm?) Nodding, nothing braced for what your husband had in mind. You almost dropped your brush mid-way. Jaehyun’s lips impatiently devoured your neck, his huge hands fondling your breasts. Violently throwing your head back against his chest, a needy moan parted your lips.

“Jae-” His touches reaching south to where you desired him highly, dampening hastily as your legs naturally spread apart. Rushed exhales, “À quoi tu penses maintenant?” (What are you thinking about right now?)

“Rien se sent seul,” (Rien feels alone,) His hot breath whispered against your ear, his fingers dangerously trailing your thin panties up and down. With your hands tightly clutching on his bicep,

“Alors, donnons-lui une amie.” (We should give him a friend.)

Ever since Adrien mentioned such a daring topic, it hasn’t left Jaehyun’s mind the whole day. After seeing you in utter bliss with your son earlier, he found you so majestic and radiant. It’s a different kind of happiness, especially for parents.

Now you went on hiatus, he thought that it was the right time to have another. He enjoyed his younger years with Krystal, and he wanted Adrien to experience it too. 3 years was quite a wait, and it seemed ideal to try again.

From his nude chest, you flipped around to intensely clash his lips with yours. Draping your arms behind his neck, Jaehyun lifted your entire figure from the chair. His hands gripping on your butt, he delicately lowered you down your bed.

Drowning into his sensual kisses with his hands all over you, this could prolong for hours. Reddening love marks started to resurface whilst your fingers tugged on the drawstring of his pajama pants. Jaehyun’s fingers dove under the fabric of your panties, his index finger rubbing figure 8s the sensitive bundle of nerves.

You struggled to swallow your moans, not wanting Rien to hear it. You wouldn’t want to repeat history, covering it as Jaehyun massaging you after a hard day.

“I know you want one too, ma chérie.” His fingers began to drape down the straps of your gown, presenting your breasts in its full, perky view. But before his lips could suck on your erect nipples, you parted momentarily from him and got up on your feet. Pulling up your straps again, Jaehyun simply laid down but he wasn’t pleased from how you left him hanging.

“Où vas-tu, ma chérie?” (Where are you going, sweetheart?)

He was growing impatient. You were never to interrupt such a sexy atmosphere ever.

From one of your drawers in your vanity table, an important, half-opened envelope was hidden. You were supposed to give it tomorrow but now seemed like a perfect time. Reading it as soon one of the maids handed it to you gave you the jitters, but in a positive way. Sitting back down on the edge of your bed, you exhilaratingly passed it to your husband.

“Qu’est-ce que c’est?” (What is this?)

“Ouvre-le.” (Open it.)

Jaehyun slowly opened the edges and once he took out the contents. Reading it thoroughly, he couldn’t believe it as his jaw dropped, pacing from the letter and you back and forth.

“Vraiment, ma chérie?” (Really, my darling?)

It was from a doctor you visited in Paris a few days before you left, who confirmed just exactly what caused your health to go feeble suddenly. You already had one certain suspicion, which you addressed in your leave of absence letter. Amelié, who finally got the position as the head, couldn’t believe her ears and insisted you take all the time off you needed.

“On dirait que Adrien a reçu son cadeau d'anniversaire en avance.” (It looks like Adrien received his birthday gift early.)

Overall, it turned out the headaches and repeated vomiting you mistook as motion sickness from traveling was a surprise hello to your second child.

A girl specifically, thanks to the blood test she recommended.

“Je t’aime, (Y/N).”

“Montre moi combien tu m’aimes, Jaehyun.” (Show me how much you love me, Jaehyun.)

The whole night through, the two of you vigorously celebrated with the moonlight from the windows and a few scented candles set in the room. Wet kisses left on your collarbone, words of devotion exchanged, holding his hand as he groaned from heartily thrusting in you, the number of moans from your lips overlapped with the vinyl playing in the room. The intimacy between you two increased, almost as if you made love for the first time again all those years ago.

Excluding being drenched from the rain.

Once the two of you grew tired, Jaehyun lied down beside you. Wrapping one arm around, one hand trailed down your naked skin again. His wedding band flashed your eyes, reminding you of the commitment you promised each other. For better, and for worse.

Jaehyun promised to love you endlessly as a woman and his wife, and it didn’t cease when you became the mother of his children. He respected how strong you are, physically and mentally. He helped you in any way he could as you endured the struggling process.

At the end of the day, his family was his biggest priority. More than ever now, you needed him as you go through the pregnancy phases again. Specifically, his index finger lingered on your stomach. There was no bump or other signs of showing, except for that glow he complimented you earlier on.

“We met and fell in love over the summer, got married in summer, had Adrien mid-summer, and now found out about our daughter at the start of summer.” He smiled, blessed at all the good he’s received during this time.

“The summer gods must adore us.” Your vacant hand with your wedding band topped his. To love and to cherish. “Ils m'ont amené à toi.” (They brought me to you.)

His power on you was simply addicting, as if your early twenties revisited you. You straddled himself once again, your fingers caressing his face sweetly. When it reached his lips, he placed longing kisses there and pulled you closer again for another kiss on your lips. In between, you mumbled in a silvery tone,

“Then they led us to say I do. Pour toujours et à jamais.”

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havethetimeofyourstyles · 3 years

Text

in which you and harry meet again after six months.

a/n: hiiii! this is for @theharriediaries fic challenge! the photo used is the one on the left of the banner, and the dialogue i chose was ‘Is this seat taken?’ ‘By you, I hope.’ & ‘I’m sorry it took us this long.’ thank you for creating this challenge, soph!

thank you @sunflowers-styles for beta reading this for me, mwah! <3

WORD COUNT: 12k of dad!harry with slight angst and fluff (pls appreciate the dilfrry dialogues in this lmao)

COME INTO MY INBOX AND LETS TALK ABOUT ‘THE TRAIN RIDE BACK TO US’ I’d love to know your thoughts!

pls rb to share! <3

The gold bell chimed quite loudly, informing the baristas that someone had entered their shop. The aroma of fresh ground coffee beans immediately filled your senses once you pushed open the sage green door as the smell feeling of nostalgia and comforted you.

Everything looked the same in the coffee shop. The oak wood floor never changed with coffee stains in certain areas that didn’t quite seem to come off all the way, no matter how hard the employees scrubbed—but it gave the shop character, in your opinion. Different colored potted plants filled the shop in every corner and on the clean white windowsill, making the place look lively. Crisp oxygen mixed with Columbian coffee beans flowed around the shop, making customers want to come back to a comfortable environment. Black and white bistro tables sat within the café, with silver metal bases, holding the circular table tops up as they alternated with colors along the built-in brown bench against the light-gray colored wall; with matching black and white metal chairs that practically screeched against the oak wood floors when someone was trying to scoot in or out of the table.

The entire shop was the exact same from what you remembered it to be six months ago. The only difference was that when you sat on the wooden bench, specifically at the black table in the corner that was right next to the window, the person who was supposed to be in front of you wouldn’t be there; and for that, your heart dropped a little.

Trying not to think too much about your change of mood, you ordered your usual—an iced mocha latte with a pump of sweet vanilla syrup—before you paid and turned around to see which tables were available. The usual corner table was staring right at you, practically mocking you, and you wished that the table was occupied, but then you would’ve felt wrong sitting at a different table when yours was clearly open.

You took your seat on the bench, and almost immediately, you started shaking your leg underneath the table. Your seat felt hot, as if the wood was catching fire underneath you, burning your legs and making you antsy.

Luckily, the shop wasn’t crowded so it took the baristas less than six minutes to make your drink and to call out your name from behind the counter. Quickly, standing up from the burning hot seat, you made your way to the counter, thanking Mel for the drink. Since coming here, you had become quite a constant in the cute Portland coffee shop. Mel was one of the employees that had worked at the shop the longest, so she made everyone’s drinks because she knew the menu the best. So, you caught up with her a bit, and inevitably, she asked where you had been.

“You didn’t find a better coffee shop did you?” She teased, making you chuckle.

“No, I’ve just been, uh, too busy to come around. But I promise, your drinks and shop are still the best,” you said truthfully, to which she beamed. To this day, you hadn’t found a superior coffee shop than ‘Coava’ because the others just didn’t compare—they didn’t make you feel the same way you did with this one. “But thanks for the coffee.” You gave her one last smile before you turned around to make your way back to your table.

And then the bell chimed.

It was as if the sun was peeking out through the clouds; the sun beams strongly pointed down onto the wet pavement after a night of rain, leaving the air with its pleasant smell of petrichor. He was the light that seeped through the curtains, and you knew it was going to be a lovely day.

“Harry…” you stopped in your tracks, careful not to spill the contents of your coffee cup. Your heart skipped several beats once he flashed you his gorgeous smile that you were still hopelessly in love with.

“Hi, Y/N.” Harry mindlessly played with the buttons of his coat as he mentally tried to situate the nerves in his head and stomach. His breath felt like it was stuck in his throat, making his voice slightly trail off with a crack to the tone.

It felt like the two of you were the only ones in the coffee shop—minus the locals who were sitting at the tables, minding their own business, or wondering what the fuck they were doing standing in the middle of the shop—completely and fully captured by the other’s stare and presence.

The loud screeching noise of steam took you out of your dazy trance as you cleared your throat. Harry looked down at his feet before looking up at you through his lashes, shyly intertwining his hands behind his back.

“Uh, would you like to join me?”

Harry raised his brows at your proposal, pursing his lips to contain his giddy excitement. “S-Sure.” You took a deep breath before you started to walk towards the table in the corner—one he was also very familiar with. “This seat...Is this seat taken?” He asked politely but, almost instantly, mentally cursed himself because you wouldn’t have invited him if you were with someone.

You didn’t catch his slip up, instead, you smiled as your face grew warm. “By you, I hope.” Harry blushed, taking a seat on the black metal chair across from you.

“So, how’ve you been? It’s been a while since I last saw you,” you mentioned.

It’d been six months since the last time you saw and sat in front of Harry—a very long six months. The conversation six months ago wasn’t the most happiest of memories because that conversation brought in the heartache and heartbreak; the chat had included the mutual separation of your relationship that involved tears, chest pain, and as always, the smell of Colombian coffee that surrounded your afflictive conversation, hoping it would calm the tension between you two.

“Yeah, it has been a while, but I’m doing okay. How are you?”

“I’m good.” There was a bit of awkwardness swirling in the air, and you absolutely despised it—you wanted it to leave the shop and never return. You had always imagined what it would be like bumping into Harry again, more importantly, what you would say to him. And despite all those moments daydreaming of finding the right words, you were completely stuck, and you fully blamed it on the awkward tension. “Can we not be…y’know, awkward? That’s not us,” you simply said.

Harry let out a sigh of relief, adding a breathy laugh. “Yes, yes, of course. You’re right, that isn’t us at all.” Mel brought him an iced black coffee since it was his usual, and she saw that he didn’t get the chance to order because he was immediately occupied by the sight of you. He softly thanked her with a smile, only taking his attention off of you for a split second before his eyes were right back on you; he didn’t know what this conversation would lead to, nor did he want to get his hopes up, so that meant spending every moment with his complete attention and eyes averted to you. “I miss you…” he said.

There was a sense of relief as you exhaled deeply, glad that he wasn’t the only one who was missing the other. His words had brought a flutter of butterflies to your stomach, soaring as they pleased while your face felt warm.

You and Harry had been together for a year and a half before calling it quits. For most of the relationship, it was happiness and bliss—occasional fights, but they weren’t frequent—towards the last few months however, things were getting a bit stressful. You remembered the days like it was yesterday as the vivid memory crept inside of your head...

It was nearing nine in the evening and the house was quiet. The silence was louder than the ongoing noise inside your head that was constantly yelling at you, making your head ache from the incessant thoughts. It was safe to say that you weren’t happy, and that even Harry wasn’t happy either. But you had only gotten a glimpse of him during the evening, so you were simply assuming that he wasn’t content—but it was a very logical assumption since every time he looked at you, it seemed like he was becoming more stressed out by the minute; as if he didn’t already have a lot on his plate during the day, and by night, he would still have to deal with whatever argument and fight either of you would pick for no apparent reason.

It started with petty little arguments, getting annoyed and frustrated at the other because of burnt toast or something as small as running out of detergent for the laundry. But fighting over nothing had turned into completely confessing that you weren’t happy anymore, and that the exhaustion had gotten to you.

“I-I don’t know if I can do this anymore, Harry,” you said in between your sobs that you tried to contain. “All we’re doing is hurting each other—we’re not even happy together anymore!”

It felt like his heart was exploding, but it was the truth. “Darling…”

“You can’t lie and tell me that we’re happy together because it’s obvious that we’re not.” You wiped the tears from your face, leaving your skin damp from the moisture.

Harry sighed deeply, knowing he couldn’t argue anymore. He felt defeated and upset with himself; it was like he was doing well in everything else or at least trying, and he couldn’t even do his part in being a good boyfriend to you. He knew part of the reason why both of you weren’t happy was because of the neglectance, and both of you were too exhausted to even communicate that feeling. You two were both independent entrepreneurs—always knowing when to close business and how to make a well deserved investment or sale with others who were trying to buy whatever stock or product. But when it came down to each other, to Y/N and Harry, it seemed like the individuals that were trying to please and charm others had dissipated, leaving no room or patience for each other.

“We’re both busy, Harry, I get that. And maybe it’s best if we call it quits until everything settles down—until we both know what we want—”

“I want you,” he interrupted.

You softly huffed, looking down at your lap as you slightly nodded before you looked up at him again. He had tears streaming down his face and more forming in his eyes; you loved that he wasn’t embarrassed or afraid to show his true emotions—he was being vulnerable every time he let his guard down, and for that, you would appreciate him forever.

Muffled, static cracks followed by quiet little groans were heard from the baby monitor on the coffee table. Harry glanced at it before looking back at you, knowing he had to take care of his number one priority, and who were you to stop him? So, you nodded, tilting your head towards the room, and he sadly smiled before heading towards the nursery.

You walked over to the kitchen counter, grabbed a pen and paper, and wrote ‘Meet me at Coava tomorrow. Usual time.’ before you placed it on the coffee table beside the monitor. As you were leaving, you heard soft humming coming from the baby monitor, and your heart squeezed, frowning as this was most likely going to be the last time you were going to be in this house. Taking one look around, you took in all of the memories that you made in the building that made you feel safe and warm before you stepped out, immediately welcomed by the cool temperatures of the evening.

The next afternoon when you walked into Coava, Harry was already sitting at the usual table you two sat at. His head was down, mindlessly wiping down the condensation that formed outside of his glass. You took a seat in front of him without saying a word, making him look up. He had dark circles around eyes as he hadn’t gotten much sleep.

“Hi,” you whispered. There was your usual cup of iced coffee placed in front of you. “Thank you for the coffee.”

He nodded and smiled softly, despite his current mood. “Hello.”

You took a deep breath. “So…where do we go from here?”

Harry sadly looked at you with desperation in his eyes that spoke, no, begged you to tell him to stay, to tell him that you two could and would work this out. But it seemed like you hadn’t received that specific message from his green and sorrowful eyes.

“You were right…We haven’t been able to make time for one another. So, we’ll just…take some time apart.” His heart and voice cracked at the end of his sentence, finding it hard to even form a sentence that didn’t absolutely break him. You nodded, agreeing, but it didn’t hurt any less; you knew this would be best for the two of you because both of you had to focus on yourselves, especially when Harry had his priorities, such as his family, which you weren’t going to make him change whatsoever. “Okay…so, we’re over.” He hadn’t said it as a question but rather a way to see that realization.

You reached across the table, placing your hand on his, and you were lucky that he didn’t pull away. “Harry, this doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. I…will always love you.”

“And I’ll always love you too,” he said honestly.

Behind the civil and mature conversation that occurred, there was sadness and heartbreak. There were no more smiles or laughs, no more love and affection, or anymore meet-ups during lunch or coffee dates during breaks. The painful look on Harry’s face had only pained you even more, but you both knew this split-up and time apart was for the best.

That was six months ago.

Now, as you sat across Harry, you felt an overwhelming rush of relief and joy; he just looked happier and you saw a familiar glint in his eyes as he looked at you. It may not be the same sparkle of love as it once was, which you were afraid it wasn’t, but there was still some kind of sparkle—the kind someone would give when they reunite with an old friend.

“The kids miss you—they miss you a lot.”

Your eyes look at him fondly at the mention of his children. “Really?”

“Yeah, they do. They said, and I quote, they miss their ‘pretty fairy second mom,’” Harry said quite proudly.

Harry had three kids that you absolutely adored. There was Mira and Estelle, seven-year-old twins that looked like their father. Mira was very energetic and talkative—that little girl could talk for hours on end without missing a beat; Estelle was more quiet and reserved, but once you started hanging around, she opened up and was quite fun to have a laugh with. Then there was the sweet little two-year-old boy, Rory, who resembled his mother. He was always babbling and giggling, so happy and free.

If Harry was being honest, Rory was a complete accident. Him and his ex had separated and broken up when the twins were four, but they were still seeing each other. Those occasional hangouts led to another child, which they both thought would help them bond, but six months into the pregnancy, they both knew it wasn’t right anymore—not like before. So, they stuck to coparenting and, if they were speaking the truth, it was much better than being together.

When Rory was six months old, that was when Harry met you. On an unexpected literal run in the park when you and Harry were on your daily runs, the trail was only narrow and small enough for one person to run. So, when you and Harry were running towards each other, you braced yourself for the awkwardness you were about to face with the man. Harry politely smiled, moving to his left, only for you to move to your right, which made you both giggle. The two of you then moved to the opposite side, only to clash again. The thought was quite hilarious to the two of you, so you both started laughing, clutching your stomachs. Once you two calmed down, Harry then said that he was going to his left, so you moved to your left, running the opposite directions from each other.

At the end of the trail and on your way to the parking lot, you saw Harry finish the same trail but exit from the other side. And if it said anything more, you parked right next to his car as well. Harry smiled, dimples flashing and asked you how your run was, which then led to a bit of small talk. In the six minutes you two were talking, Harry made the impulsive decision to ask you if you would like some coffee. He wouldn’t have asked if it were anyone else, and until that moment he didn’t even know if he was ready to date again. But he took the chance and decided to ask you, and luckily, you said yes.

The rest was history.

“I miss them so much too.” You smiled softly, thinking about the kids that you had thought of as your own.

“I, uh, I know it’s too much to ask, but I figured I should ask either way…Would you like to see them? Mira would never live it down if I told them that I saw you and didn’t ask if you wanted to see them.” He added a chuckle at the end, nerves creeping up his skin.

Your eyes lit up. “Really? You’d let me see them?”

Harry raised his brows. “Yeah, of course! You could see them anytime you want, if you’d like. Just because we’re not, y’know, together doesn’t mean that you can’t see them. I know how much you love them and how much they love you too,” he reassured.

“Would Laurie be okay with that?” You asked about his ex and the mother of said children.

He nodded. “Yeah, she would. I mean, she also knows how much they love you.” Harry was lucky that the mother of his children and his ex was so kind and chill with having someone that Harry loved be ‘another mother’ to her children; all Laurie really asked of you was to not try and replace her role as their mom and to always keep them safe when she wasn’t around, and who were you to disrespect her wishes?

“Harry, I would love to, thank you. I really do miss them.” You felt yourself getting a bit emotional because of how much you missed the kids, and it’d felt like an eternity since you last saw them.

“Great! Tomorrow is the weekend, so are you free to go to the park and maybe get some ice cream after?”

“Yeah, that sounds like a plan.” You smiled, not too widely as you tried to contain your excitement.

Harry smiled back at you before quickly looking at his phone to check the time. “I gotta get back. But I’ll see you tomorrow and will text you the details tonight.”

“Okay, see you soon.” You stood up to hug him, and his arm immediately wrapped around your waist, hugging you to his chest. His stomach was doing flips as he felt your breath against the crook of his neck. He didn’t want the moment to end, and it was the most physical contact that you two had in six months.

Pulling away, he offered you a smile before bidding you goodbye, and you finally let out the breath you had been holding the moment the bell chimed and the man you still loved walked in.

A soft blush was planted on Harry’s cheeks for the entire day. He was driving from work to Laurie’s house to pick up his beloved children as he thought about how his day turned out to be.

In all honesty, he hadn’t expected to see you in the coffee shop that you two had gone to throughout the entirety of your relationship. He had just gotten out of a meeting and was debating on going to Coava because he hadn’t been there since the day you two called it quits, but he figured it was time and thought that maybe reminiscing on the memories you two had with each other wasn’t a bad thing. So, he walked into that shop thinking he was just going to get a coffee to-go, but he had gone in there and left with something so much better.

The moment his eyes landed on yours his mind had screamed and reassured him that he wasn’t just dreaming that you were standing right in front of him, he felt his stomach drop in the best way. The heat had rushed to his cheeks, tugging on the corners of his lips, urging his mouth to smile, and he did not hold back his joy when he saw you. You were beautiful, just like he remembered, but he had no doubt that there wasn’t a day that went by where you weren’t not absolutely stunning.

And the giddy feeling he felt when he asked you if you’d like to see the kids made his heart tumble inside of his chest as he couldn’t wait for you and the kids to finally see each other again.

Harry pulled into Laurie’s driveway, and he quickly got out and knocked on the door, waiting for Laurie to answer. He chuckled as he could practically hear the twins screaming from across the house to make sure they had everything they needed. When the door opened, he was met by his ex that he once loved, and still had some platonic love for her, naturally, as the mother of his children.

“Hey, Harry! They’re just getting their stuff ready,” she greeted with a smile, opening the door wider as she walked away from the entrance and let him in. She grabbed Rory from the couch, who was mindlessly playing with a giant puzzle piece, and gave him many kisses to his cheeks before saying goodbye to her son and handing him off to Harry.

Rory’s eyes lightened up at the sight of his father. “Dada!”

“Hi, my sweet boy. I’ve missed you.” He placed soft kisses to his chubby and squeezable cheeks.

“Girls, dad’s waiting!” Laurie called out from the bottom of the stairway before turning back towards Harry. “Why do you look like that?” She gave him a knowing look.

“Like what?” Harry asked, acting like he didn’t know what she was talking about. The blush really gave him away, he thought.

“You’re just…extra happy today.”

“Can’t I be happy, Laurie? To see my kids?” He teased, smirking as he hugged Rory to his chest.

“I mean, sure, but…did something happen today?”

His smile widened, and it was like he couldn’t contain the exciting feeling anymore and he just had to tell someone. “I saw Y/N today.”

Her brows raised. “Really? How is she?”

“She’s doing well, yeah. We talked for a little bit.” Was all that he told her.

“And I’m assuming it went well.” He nodded, not wanting to tell her more. “Well, that’s great, Harry. She was, is, a lovely woman and she took care of the kids, so that’s all that matters to me,” Laurie said genuinely; she wasn’t jealous, if she was being honest. All that mattered to her was that her kids were in good hands.

Suddenly more footsteps were coming down the stairs. “Dad!” The twins yelled at the same time. He put Rory down for a moment before he bent down to hug his two girls.

“Hi, my loves. How are you?” He kissed both of their cheeks, making their small arms hug him tighter.

“Dad, I scored one hundred percent on all my spelling tests, so I’m qualified for the spelling bee!” Mira explained excitedly once she let go of Harry.

“Really?! That’s amazing, bug. This week, I’ll help you study for it.” Mira beamed at that before walking over to her mom to say bye.

“How are you, my sunshine?” He directly asked Estelle, knowing that she was specifically waiting for Harry to have his attention on only her. Even though she’d never told him that, he could tell that sometimes Estelle lets Mira have her moment and wanted to speak with Harry when no one else was paying attention.

“I’m good. My teacher told me I could become a math…mathmat—daddy, what are they called?” She looked at Harry for help.

“Look at you, sunshine! I’m so proud of you my little mathematician.” Estelle’s eyes widened. “Is that you meant mathematician, sweetheart?” He smiled.

“Yes, that! I did good on my math test and even baked cookies for you!” Before Harry could say anything, Estelle ran off to the kitchen to grab the plate of cookies she baked last night.

“Alright, babies, let’s go. Say bye to mommy.” The kids said their goodbyes before Harry safely buckled them into their car seats and drove home for a week at their father’s.

When all four of them reached the front door, Harry told the twins to put their belongings away and wash up for dinner. He set Rory down in his high chair before cutting up some bananas in halves, and placing them on the plastic table in front of him for his pre-dinner snack. Knowing that his kids liked home cooked meals better than takeout, fortunately, he set out the ingredients to make some fried rice, which was quick and easy.

The twins rushed down the stairs once Harry put the leftover rice into the pan filled with sautéed veggies, and they settled onto the couch in front of the TV, waiting for dinner.

“Loves, set the table for me, please!” He called out from the kitchen as he transferred the rice from the pan to a large bowl, topping it with green onions. The girls each had a task for setting the table; Mira was in charge of forks and spoons, and Estelle handled the plates since she was less clums. He rolled Rory’s high chair over to the table, which he was so lucky to have gotten a high chair with wheels because it was so much easier to move him without carrying him and the chair; and he gave everyone an equal scoop, depending on how much they ate, and if they wanted seconds, he would be glad to serve them more.

As they ate, Harry was occasionally helping Rory eat the rice, just picking up the contents that didn’t make it into his mouth, as Estelle and Mira both took turns talking. Harry loved family dinner, he tried his very best to give all three of his children the attention that they deserved, but dinner was the one time they bonded the most because no one felt competitive or had the urge to start an argument when there was food in front of them.

“Daddy, how was your day?” Estelle asked curiously, and Harry smiled at his sunshine, as if she was the sun itself, heart swooning.

“It was great, thanks for asking, my love.” He placed his spoon on his plate. “I actually wanted to talk to you all about something.” The twins didn’t respond, just stared at him, encouraging him to continue. “Do you remember Y/N?” Just at the sound of your name, the crowd went absolutely wild.

“Y/N, yes!” Screamed Estelle, which was rare for her to raise her voice.

“Pretty, fairy second mom, of course we remember her, dad!” Mira exclaimed obviously.

“Fairy!” Rory had repeated the only word he could make out from Mira’s mouth as he fussed because of the volume that had increased from his sisters.

Harry laughed. “Alright, okay, settle down. Well, I saw her today.” The twins gasped, making him chuckle. It genuinely felt like he was on a talk show with a live audience. “And I wanted to ask you all if you wanted to see her tomorrow? Figured we could go to the park and get some ice cream together?” He asked hesitantly, even though he knew they’d say yes, and he’d get another chance to see you again.

“Yes!” The girls both answered.

Harry beamed, turning to Rory. “Bubba, remember Y/N? Your slide friend? Remember you used to go on the slide with Y/N?” Rory giggled, a sound that was Harry’s weakness, and nodded. “Do you wanna see her tomorrow?”

“Slide with fairy?” Rory asked, and Harry laughed.

“Yes, slide with fairy,” he confirmed, and Rory nodded his head eagerly.

Harry smiled, glad his kids were with the plans tomorrow. The rest of the dinner was filled with the twins talking about you; they talked about what you all could do together at the park and what they wanted to show you, and Harry would be lucky if they slept through the entire night without continuously waking up because of their excitement for the upcoming afternoon.

Once everything was cleaned up and put away, the twins washed and cleaned, Harry give Rory a bath, and everyone was ready for bed, Harry said good night to his babies, spending about five minutes cuddling and talking them to sleep until they fluttered their eyes closed and off to slumber.

Sighing, Harry closed his door, leaving the baby monitor from Rory’s room on his bedside table before he was able to unwind for the day. He always spent an extra amount of time on his skin care routine, figuring that he sometimes didn’t have time for himself and the only time he had was during nights.

When he was ready for bed, he felt a huge amount of relief to be getting into bed after a long but grateful day, and he picked up his phone and clicked on your message thread. The last time you two texted was a few weeks after the breakup, asking if you were doing okay, and he could practically feel the awkward tension through the texts as he reread them. But he was glad that this time would be a much lighter and better conversation.

Hi, Y/N. Hope this is the right number still. But if it is, kids are on board for tomorrow. Does 12:30 work for you? We could meet at the usual park. If it’s not Y/N, please don’t meet at the usual park because the kids are not on board.

You chuckled at the end of his text, happy to see that Harry is always trying to make jokes and be the comedian.

Hi, Harry! Don’t worry, this is Y/N. Probably would have hunted the person with my number down to get tomorrow’s plans. But that sounds perfect! I can't wait to see the kids tomorrow. See you then!

Harry softly smiled at his phone, not feeling the need to respond and figured he would talk to you a lot more tomorrow while the kids are playing. He stared at the message for quite some time, completely blank as he couldn’t believe the chances that he happened to see you at the shop six months after the breakup, and now he’s making plans with you tomorrow; his jaw was aching from smiling so much.

A few minutes later, he put his phone away to change before he comfortably situated himself under the blanket, feeling the heaviness of his eyes. But once he felt himself starting to drift away into dreamland, his phone buzzed on his nightstand, and he tried his best to ignore it, but curiosity got the best of him, so he picked up his phone and opened the new message.

And I can’t wait to see you tomorrow too.

And just like that, Harry was wide awake, struggling to sleep, but a smile permanently etched on his face for the night.

The day that everyone in the Styles’ household had been waiting for had finally arrived. Luckily, the kids had gotten their needed hours of sleep; Harry had only gotten a few hours of sleep, but when the sun seeped through his curtains, he didn’t dread getting up for the day. Instead, he felt a rush of eagerness, instantly remembering what the day held for him and his kids, and he jumped right out of bed.

Once the four of them were out of the house, Harry had successfully fed, cleaned, and changed his children with no complaints. The house and car ride was filled with conversations about how excited they were to see you again, asking how many more hours there was until they got to see you and if they were almost at the park.

Screams bounced off the roof of the car once Harry parked on the side of the curb; the twins had already taken their seatbelts off, getting antsy as they waited for their dad to open the car from the outside. Harry unbuckled Rory, carrying him until he rounded on the other side of the car to open the door for the twins. They quickly jumped out, clearly excited, but Harry did not forget to remind them that this was still a public area and anything could happen.

“Girls, slow down, please.” Estelle was holding Harry’s hand as Mira was holding her sister’s; Harry was still carrying Rory in his arms because his sister’s were practically lugging Harry with all their might, trying to get to their usual spot, so he didn’t want Rory to get hurt. “Loves, you know Y/N would tell you the exact same thing. Please, just slow down for me.” He pulled the Y/N card on them, knowing that they were better listeners with you than they are with him.

Once they were all close enough, they spotted a thick beige blanket under the tree with a picnic basket, and you sitting on top of it, setting everything up.

“Y/N!” The girls both screamed, Estelle letting go of Harry’s hand as they both ran towards you.

You looked up at the sound of your name, eyes brightening at the little girls running. “My Princesses! Hi, my loves!” You opened your arms widely, inviting the twins into your arms— they practically collided into your arms, making you fall onto your back since you didn’t get the chance to stand up—and embracing them with a big hug. Laughs came out of all of your mouths as wide smiles permanently stayed on your faces. “Oh, I missed you two so much!” You kissed both of their cheeks, making them giggle. You stood up, helping the girls up and brushed their clothes off with your hand from the grass. Harry and Rory were in sight, and Harry put the little boy down, making Rory run towards you. “My sweetheart, oh, you’ve gotten so big.” You hugged Rory to your chest, placing your hand behind his head as your other arm wrapped around his small body.

You were glad that Rory still had some memory of you, and didn’t shy away behind his father’s leg. You placed soft kisses on his cheeks, taking in his baby scent that you always loved.

After Rory was starting to fuss in your arms, most likely due to feeling overwhelmed from the lack of space, you let go of him before standing up.

“Hi, Y/N,” Harry greeted, offering a hug, which you gladly took.

You rubbed his back. “Hi, Harry. I’m so glad I’m here with you all.” You pulled away, smiling at him. Harry’s heart pounded against his chest at the sight of you smiling up at him. His heart did a backflip at the sight of your gorgeous smile, trickling all the way down to his stomach where it triggered the butterflies to release from the net.

“Please, we were all really excited to see you. So, thank you for agreeing.” His hand innocently ran down your arm, sending shivers down your spine.

You turned around to look at the kids who were making themselves comfortable on the blanket. You and Harry joined them as you sat in between Estelle and Rory, and Harry sat in between Mira and Rory.

“Okay, so I made some sandwiches. You all still like grilled cheese, right?” You hoped, and the twins nodded; you turned towards Rory. “What about you, sweet pea? Grilled cheese?” At the sound of cheese, Rory nodded his head and clapped his hands, making you smile.

Harry was so lost in his mind and heart that he was simply so distracted in helping you out as you unwrapped the sandwiches from the foil, putting them on a paper plate. He was just so fond of watching you interact with his children so naturally, like there was no time that was wasted when you and Harry were apart. And he was especially happy that the kids still loved you just as much as they did when you two were together; and how they still kept talking about you despite the breakup.

Aside from you and Harry, the kids had taken the breakup the hardest. From the knowledge they had based on what Harry and Laurie told them, they understood that their mommy and daddy couldn’t be together anymore due to adult reasons; it took them a while to adjust to that, but they eventually managed and figured it was better and more fun. But when Harry had to break the news on why they wouldn’t be seeing their ‘Pretty Fairy Second Mom’ anymore, they took it harder than expected. They simply looked at it as you didn’t want to see them anymore, which wasn’t the case at all, Harry explained.

“Sometimes adults need to take some time apart, loves. That does not mean that Y/N doesn’t love you anymore because she does very much, I can tell you that. But it's good to have some time to yourself, especially in a relationship.”

“But daddy, I thought you were gonna be together forever with Y/N,” Estelle spoke up, tears in her eyes. He was lucky that his kids loved you so much, and he never doubted that they weren’t going to. But his fear had come true when you two called it quits and he had to tell them the truth.

“And maybe we will, but as for right now, it’s best to be apart. Sometimes being apart saves the relationship rather than letting it burn,” he told them honestly, which was the best as he could explain it.

“D-Does Y/N still love you?” Mira asked softly. It wasn’t like Mira to be so soft spoken, which meant that the breakup had affected her deeply.

Harry sighed, grabbing both of their small hands. “She does,” he replied for the sake of more tears coming out of their eyes—plus, he was taking your word for it back at the cafe. “And she also loves you all so much too,” he reminded them again. What he really wanted to say was that maybe one day you two will get back together, but he really didn’t want to get their hopes up.

Looking back on his conversation from half a year ago, he was glad that he told them the truth on why you two broke up. He didn’t want to confuse his children even further, making them completely oblivious to the situation—he just wanted to be honest with them because he hoped you two would meet again and get back together at some point.

“Harry, would you like one?” You asked, bringing Harry back out of his thoughts. He smiled, nodding, not trusting his voice to speak; and you gladly handed him a plate with a sandwich, pouring some chips onto the side—his favorite chips, you still remembered.

“Thank you.” He smiled softly. The corners of your lips turned up as you bashfully looked at the picnic basket in front of you. You placed Rory’s plate in front of him as he seemed to have crawled to sit closer to you, and you cut out his sandwich into small pieces, along with cutting his grapes in half. “Oh, you don’t have to do that.” He stopped you from what you were doing, ready to take Rory from your side as he didn’t want you to feel obligated to take care of him.

“Oh, if you don’t want me to, that’s fine. But I wouldn’t mind feeding him a bit.”

“If you want to.”

You gave him the sweetest grin, and Harry was lucky to be sitting down because his knees would give out on him if he were standing. “I want to.” He only nodded, a crimson color laid on his cheeks.

Harry comfortably watched as you made conversation with the twins as you fed Rory. You always gave them your undivided attention; your expression always lit up everytime they talked about something they were passionate about or interested in, and it just made Harry fall even more with how you were always so supportive in what his kids loved. You were always uplifting them, never dragging their hopes and dreams down.

After everyone was finished with their meals and had time to digest their food, the twins asked if they could go on the swings and Harry said yes. The tree that they were under was only a few feet away, so Harry had a clear view of his girls.

“You’re, like, a magician.” Harry suddenly said, breaking the silence once the girls were safely on the swing.

You chuckled. “How’s that?”

“It’s like hiring a magician at a party—everyone is so excited to see what they do and see them in general—you’re like that; the girls and Rory were so excited to see you.”

You playfully gasped, holding Rory to your chest. “You were excited to see me? Well, I was excited to see you!” You booped his nose, making Rory giggle.

“Fairy!” He exclaimed, and you and Harry laughed. Rory was a quiet two-year-old, but he picked up on keywords that he repeatedly said.

“So, are you seeing anyone?” You cut to the chase, skipping the small talk.

Harry chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “Nope. Not entirely sure if anyone wants to date a thirty-four-year-old with three kids.”

You raised your brows in shock, and he knew that look you’re giving him very well—prepared to tease him; even though you weren’t that much younger than him either. “What? Do you think no one wants to date a hot dad? Harry, you’re peak-dilf, everyone wants to date you.”

“And what about you? Do you wanna date me? A dilf?” He teased; a smirk that you knew all too well appeared on his face, making you want to kiss it off, which was what you used to do.

Pursing your lips and cheeks heating up, you gave him an obvious look before you said, “Think you know the answer to that one, baby.” In all honesty, the pet name had slipped, and for a brief moment your eyes widened at the realization, but you brushed it off and continued with your confident and teasing attitude; and it worked quite well on Harry because he definitely heard what you used to call him loud and clear. It made his heart flutter as he missed you calling him that; he never wanted to hear that name come out of anyone else’s mouth because only yours would do it justice.

Harry was left to ponder about your response before you changed the subject, talking to Rory. “Sweets, do you wanna go on the slide?” The little boy jumped up and down, pulling your arm as he had a big smile on his face. You looked at Harry, and he gave you a nod, telling you that he would stay put and watch your belongings.

You and Rory walked hand in hand, or more like hand and finger, to the slide. It was an open purple slide with two sides, and it lasted about two seconds if you slid correctly and if the slide was slippery enough. You helped Rory step onto the playground as the dull metal steps were quite high for him to reach on his own before you guided him towards the slide.

Sitting down at the top and on the edge of the slide, you carried Rory into your lap, hyping him up for what he had been waiting for. “Ready, sweets? Are you ready?” Your tone was pure excitement as you squeezed and tickled his belly.

“Go, Y/N, go!” Directed Rory, and you scooted forward and held onto the sweet boy in your arms tightly as you two slid down the slide. Mouthfuls of squealing screams and giggles came from Rory’s mouth as he clapped his hands towards the end of the slide, causing you to cheer as well.

And the proper dad that he was, Harry clicked the red button on the screen to stop recording you and Rory from the slide. He zoomed in, capturing the bright smiles placed on his sweet boy’s and the love of his life’s face, screenshotting the perfect frame. He didn’t think the day could have gone any better than this; it was quite the perfect day, he thought.

When it was rounding two in the afternoon, Rory’s eyes were starting to droop, exhaustion taking over him from running around for almost an hour that his little body couldn’t keep up, so a nap was in his favor. He lazily looked up at you, reaching his arms up for you to carry him, which you happily held him. He settled his head on your shoulder, and it only took a few kisses and back rubs for him to be out like a light while the sun still shined in his face.

You walked over to the blanket, figuring it was time to call it a day at the park; Harry and the twins were running around nearby on the bedded grass area playing tag. They retreated to the blanket once they saw you with Rory in your arms, breaths heavy from their run.

“Oh, my sweet, sweet boy.” Harry sighed when he got to spot under the tree; you handed Rory to him, admiring the two boys cuddling as Harry pressed quiet and soft kisses to his son’s head. Since your lap was available, Estelle and Mira took the chance to finally be able to properly cuddle you since Rory was taking most of your attention. The girls took one leg each, and you wrapped your arms around their waist, kissing their shoulder.

The five of you stayed put for a while, calming down under the breezy weather that had started to pick up until it got even colder was when Harry decided it was time to leave. Luckily the girls were still awake to help with cleaning up, and were rather helpful because Harry was trying his best with Rory situated on one side of his body.

Once all of you were next to your cars, Harry placed Rory in his car seat as you were hugging the girls goodbye. You and Harry agreed that everyone was too tired to go out for some ice cream since all the twins wanted to do was lie down. Harry knew he didn’t want the day to end, even though it was still quite early, but the older he got, the tougher it was to keep up with his little children who just loved running around; a relaxing and peaceful night was calling him.

“Hey.” Harry closed the passenger door before he rounded the car to meet you on the grass. “I know we talked about going for ice cream today, but it seemed like we’re all too tired, but I was wondering…” he paused for a moment, a bit of hesitancy in his voice. “Would you like to come over? Maybe…for dinner, or to have a glass or w-water?” He scratched the back of his neck, nerves getting the best of him.

You smiled, thinking he was the absolute cutest when he was flustered. “Harry, I’d love to. Feels like I haven’t drank any water so I’m parched,” you teased.

He breathed out a laugh. “Okay, uh, I’ll see you home.” He gave you another smile before walking away and inside of his car, completely unaware of his choice of words.

Home. More specifically, Harry’s home. It was a place that made you feel safe, and if you’re being honest, it’s been too long since you’d had complete solace.

Your mental pep-talk throughout the drive toward Harry’s had helped in some way. Keeping it simple without driving your mind into overthinking every single thought, you laid it all down as if you were planning and preparing a business proposal.

You didn’t want to dive deep into what Harry’s invitation could entail—more like you didn’t want to get your hopes up on if you two were to get back together because the potential rejection you could face would absolutely crush you. Harry’s a kind and sweet guy, he’s simply inviting a friend over for a drink and dinner, if you could even call yourself that. Plus, it was still early to fully call it a day, and he planned for ice cream after the park, so he was fulfilling that promise of sweet dessert.

Without realizing, you’d been sitting in your car for a solid five minutes, staring over your steering wheel as you were parked on the curb in front of Harry’s house. Harry’s car was already in the driveway, so they were just waiting on you.

You walked towards the front door, and it swung open before you even got the chance to knock.

“Hey, thought you’d change your mind when you weren’t getting out of the car,” Harry joked, although that thought really crossed his mind when he peeked out through the window and saw you still in your car.

You chuckled nervously. “Oh, no. I wouldn’t.” You stepped inside his house, and a wave of nostalgia rushed through you as if you were at the beach and the harsh current knocked you over as you were trying to walk against the sandy wind.

Everything still looked the same—the same since the night you left without another word to the kids, just a note to Harry telling you to meet at the shop. A pinch of guilt appeared in your face as you frowned, and Harry immediately took notice, but you waved it off as you slightly smiled, telling him that you two would talk later. He didn’t press any further, waiting until later or when you were ready. Instead, he asked if you wanted anything to drink, to which he already knew you’d go for a class of Cabernet, and luckily, he had some in stock—more like, he still had the untouched bottle for when you stayed over.

The two of you leaned against the cold granite counter as music softly played on the speaker that was connected through Bluetooth on his phone. Conversations were light, but it wasn’t awkward in any sense. As a matter of fact, it felt just like old times when you would stay over his house, talking about each other’s day and simply enjoying the presence of one another. That’s what you think this was, you thought—enjoying the fact that Harry was in front of you after so many months and you were cherishing it until the next set of months went by.

After a few conversations and sips of wine later, the time had gone by fairly fast, which always happened when you were with him, and it was nearing five. The kids had woken up from their nap at four and quietly settled in the living room—the twins on the couch in front of the television and Rory was on the padded mat playing with his toys, occasionally talking to his sisters. Harry asked if you would be okay watching them so he could make dinner, and you were close to reminding him that he didn’t need to ask to watch his kids, but then again, you had to remind yourself that things were a bit different now. So, you said that you didn’t mind and walked over to the sofa chair next to the couch and watched TV with the girls as well as play with Rory.

Twenty-five minutes had gone by and Harry called everyone, announcing that dinner was ready. You all walked into the dining room, taking your seats. Your assigned seat was next to Rory’s chair, which was in between you and Harry; the girls were sitting across from you. Once everyone took several bites of Harry’s dinner--a quick fettuccine alfredo--the chatter was back. You enthusiastically listened to the girls and Rory talk; it made Harry smile, loving how natural everything felt.

Estelle tapped Harry’s shoulder, making him turn towards her with a smile on his face. “What is it, sunshine?” She got off her chair, leaning over to whisper something into his ear and he smiled, turning back to his family who was curious as to what Estelle had said. “Go ahead and ask her, love.”

You put down your fork and placed your arms on the table. “What’s up, Princess?”

“Uh, c-can we go to that place?”

“What place is that?” You asked curiously.

“That place where you told Daddy you loved him,” she responded quite bashfully. Your mouth was slightly open, not expecting her to say what she did. Looking over at Harry, he simply had a soft smile on his face with his brows raised, shrugging his shoulders.

Did you want to go back there? The answer was a simple yes. There wasn’t any excuse that you could possibly make up on the spot as to why you couldn’t go there, and it wasn’t necessarily a bad place whenever you thought about it. In fact, you really missed going over there and you would be lying if you said that you didn’t think about that place often.

Your head turned towards Estelle. “Sure, why not. How about we go tomorrow?” You asked everyone, and they all had smiles on their faces. You looked at Harry, directly asking him for permission. “Is that okay?” His elbow was resting against the arm of the brown chair, fingers placed under his lips as he slightly puckered his soft and pink lips; without looking under the table, you knew his legs were crossed. Harry smiled, nodding his head, and everyone cheered.

The rest of the time everyone was sitting at the dinner table, you all talked about plans for tomorrow, and everyone was really excited. Once it was almost eight, Harry realized that it was almost their bedtime, so he hurried them up the stairs to get ready for bed before saying goodnight to you, getting in as many hugs and kisses as they could get.

Harry was upstairs, changing Rory and putting him to bed before he walked down and found you in the kitchen washing dishes. He slipped past you, placing his hand along your lower back briefly before he grabbed the dish rag. The action sent a chill down your spine and you immediately missed his hands on you.

“The kids seem really excited about tomorrow.” Harry broke the silence, glancing over at you as you continued to wash the dishes.

You nodded. “Yeah, I’m really excited too.”

Harry noticed the slight shortness, and he thought it may be because you were tired. “Hey, are you okay?”

You turned off the water and faced him, crossing your arms as he did the same.

“Do the kids hate me?” The corner of his lips turned up before he started laughing, clutching his stomach. If it were any other time, you would obsess over his laugh; it was music to your ears, the highlight of your day, and the sun when it’s bright out. You softly slapped his arm. “Harry! I’m being serious!”

“Darling, you’re joking, right?” Your heart briefly fluttered at his nickname for you. “Those kids love you!” He noticed your change of attitude and that you’d been thinking about this for a while and beating yourself up over it.

“It’s just…I don’t want them to think that we broke up and I forgot about them. I mean I understand if they see it that way because I left without saying another word for six months--didn’t even get to say goodbye to them and have a proper talk. I just don’t want them to hate me.” You looked down at your feet as you played with the thin silver band on your middle finger.

Harry’s seen you in work mode, and it reeks confidence and power. You don’t need much reassurance during work unless it’s when your employees tell you that progress is moving along. But this was completely different; you needed all the reassurance that you could get to get it through your head that the kids that you’d come to love--from the moment you met them--don’t hate you. And Harry didn’t mind telling you over and over again.

“They were just that we split up, that’s all. But they quickly understood why.”

“What’d you tell them?” You asked curiously.

“The truth--that sometimes it’s better to be apart for a while rather than drive ourselves crazy. Told them that when the time is right, then maybe we’ll get back together.” The look in his eyes was so comforting that you immediately fell into them. Harry was always the best with giving you that extra reassurance that you and his kids need.

You felt the extra beat in your chest that pumped so harshly against your chest, but it was surrounded by butterflies, making it flutter throughout your body. As you looked so deeply into Harry’s beautiful green eyes, you realized one of two things; the first thing was that you never wanted to look so deeply into another person’s eyes unless it was Harry’s; and the second thing was that you were incredibly and overwhelmingly still in love with this man and his three children, and there hadn’t been a day that gone by where you weren’t.

Taking a deep breath, itches were crawling up your skin, begging you to say something. “D-Do you think it’s time?” Your voice asked shyly.

Harry was taken back by your question as he raised his brows. He couldn’t deny the nerves that he felt whenever he was around you, but your question seemed to have increased his nervousness.

“We’ve been separated for what feels like a long time now.” He paused, taking a deep breath as he recouped his thoughts to say the right words. “I think-”

“Daddy?” Yours and Harry’s head whipped towards the staircase, finding Estelle at the bottom of it with groggy eyes.

Harry walked towards his sunshine. “What is it, my love?” He kneeled down onto the bottom step, matching her height. Estelle told him that she couldn’t sleep, and that she’s been tossing and turning for a while, so Harry told her that he would lay with her until she fell asleep and carried her to her bedroom. He looked back at you as he was walking up the steps, and you gave him a soft smile, letting him know that it was completely okay.

You finished tidying up the kitchen, wiping down the counters and cleaning the dining table until you realized that you needed to get ready for tomorrow’s adventure.

Once Harry came down the stairs, he found you sitting on the edge of the armchair with your purse on your shoulder; you looked up as he walked up to you.

“I’m gonna head out.”

Harry’s slightly frowned. “Oh, you can stay the night if you want to.”

“No, it’s okay, thanks.” You really did want to stay the night, but you didn’t have a change of clothes for tomorrow. “I’ll be here tomorrow morning.” He nodded, walking you to the door, opening it for you.

You stepped out on his doorstep, turning around as you wrapped your arm around his waist, tiptoeing to plant a kiss to his cheek. The slightest bit of touch from your lips sent Harry’s skin on fire, warming up to the affection. The touch was sent away too quickly as you let go of him completely, giving him one last smile before walking to your car and waving at him as you drove away.

Harry closed the door, the palm of his hand cupped the cheek that you kissed and he sighed as if he was shot with Cupid’s love-arrow, and he wouldn’t mind it if it meant he would feel your affection every single day.

You arrived at the Styles household at ten in the morning with a tote-full of snacks and water, knowing the kids would get hungry from all the walking. You got there forty-five minutes earlier than planned, knowing that the Styles family wouldn’t be out the door right on time because Harry has three kids, two of them who bicker and complain from time to time—especially when they’re sleepy—and a two-year-old who was starting to run away from everything. So, you figured Harry would appreciate your help.

When Harry saw you standing on his doorstep, he let out a sigh of relief. He was still in his striped pajamas pants and a white t-shirt, holding a small pair of olive green pants. You walked in and saw Rory running around half naked, despite it being early in the morning. You told Harry that he could shower and get ready for the day, and to leave it to you because you’ll handle it—plus, you both knew that the kids often listened to you more than their own dad. He smiled appreciatively, kissing your head briefly before walking up the stairs and getting ready.

Once Rory saw you, he stopped running around the house and instead, ran towards you and into your arms. You carried him up the stairs and to his room to get some clothes on him, and luckily, Harry was able to bathe him before you showed up. You gave him his favorite toy to fumble with before you walked into Mira's room, setting Rory on her twin bed before helping her get ready. You left Rory in Mira’s room and went to Estelle’s bedroom, doing the same.

By the time Harry walked downstairs, you and the three kids were sitting on the couch, eating a banana. He smiled, slowing his steps as he was amazed at the quietness and stillness in the house, but then again, he wasn’t that amazed because he knew you’d come in and get things in order.

Harry’s home was a two minute walk to the train station, and everyone decided to take the train since it was what you and Harry did when you two were dating, and the kids really wanted to walk through the entire path of their father’s love story.

Luckily, there weren’t that many people on the train—it was practically empty—so they didn’t have to rush to get a spot for the kids. Rory sat in the middle of his sisters as they all smiled brightly towards Harry’s phone that was capturing the adorable children for a sweet memory sake. You and Harry were standing, making sure neither of the kids fell over if the train made a halting stop. You held onto the metal bar above you, Harry held the bar that was mounted into the floor, and you both watched the kids interact with one another—counting on their fingers, booping one another’s noses, and laughing; it was every parent’s dream.

Without noticing, Harry moved closer to you, placing his hand directly next to yours; the side of your hand touched his, and you looked at him with wide eyes while your heart fluttered. You were hip to hip, and you saw the smirk he had on his face while occasionally glancing over at you. You couldn’t help the heat that rose onto your cheeks because it felt like old times when you two used to ride the train together and it would get too packed to where you had to stand up; he would always face you as your hands touched—sometimes he would even intertwine your fingers together while you two held the bar as you were one—and he would hover over you, giving you plentiful kisses like the true romantic that he was.

The train ride took about 30 minutes and it was a two minute walk to the place that gave you so many happy memories and nostalgia—International Rose Test Garden was where the memories of you and Harry were stored.

You had the girls on either side of you, holding their hands; and Harry carried Rory since he was likely to run around and Harry didn’t want to risk his safety.

The sun was bright—beautiful for a day in the garden as the roses and flowers bloomed ever so widely. All of you walked the rows and rows of flowers, occasionally taking pictures in front of the rose bushes.

Remembering all the times you and Harry were hand in hand, laughing until your stomachs were sore, like you did an intense ab workout, and there were tears resting in the outer corner of your eyes. All the memories that were swirling around in your head made you come to the conclusion to one thing: you never want to be without Harry and his kids ever again.

You don’t know how it took you so long to realize this, maybe it was seeing them for the first time in six months that you realized that you had it great—a small family that accepted you and loved you for who you were, and you loved them just the same.

Harry walked beside you, the kids skipping and playing around in the grass in front of you two. Confidently, you slipped your hand into Harry’s ringed hand, immediately intertwining your fingers together as if your hand knew what it was missing. Harry briefly looked down before looking at you. He smiled, and turned his head back towards the kids, not making a big deal of it as his warm hand accepted the coldness of yours.

You gently tugged against his arm, pulling him back as he came face to face with you; a quiet gasp came out of his mouth when doing so. You looked up at him with bright eyes, and Harry was taken back to a year and a half ago where you, coincidentally, were in this same spot on the very green patch of grass.

“Harry…” you breathed out, looking down at your feet nervously. He made the bold move to step closer to you, chests almost touching. Harry lifted your chin up with his fingers, locking eyes with you so intently that you practically lost your breath.

“What is it?” He whispered.

Taking a deep breath, you said, “I-I realized something.”

“Yeah? What’s that?”

Glancing over at the kids, they were giving you big smiles and thumbs up for reassurance, and your heart swooned at their support and love they provided you to finally get back together with their father, even if you weren’t their biological mother.

You looked back at Harry, who was waiting patiently. “I love you. I still do and never stopped.” Harry felt like he stopped breathing at that moment. “You make me so happy—you and the kids, and I don’t want to be without you all anymore. I-I don’t like how it’s only taken me this much time to tell you this, but it felt like the perfect time since this was the place where I first told you I loved you.”

Harry smiled, taking your hands into his. His thumbs smoothed your skin on the back of your hand before he brought them up to his lips and kissed them so delicately. The action made you smile softly before your mind had switched it to thinking that it was affection before the rejection.

But then he opened his mouth to speak such beautiful words that you had been aching to hear during the breakup.

“You’re my everything. I truly don’t know what I’d do without you because you. You’re part of my source of happiness, and life didn’t feel the same without you—the kids could agree with me on that.” He chuckled, looking at them to find them holding hands and jumping around in circles. “But I know that we separated for the better only for us to come back stronger than ever, and I’m never gonna let go of you again, okay?”

Tears pricked your eyes before they streamed down your cheeks. Your heart felt like it was pounding harder than ever, but it was filled with so much love from and for this man in front of you.

Harry wiped away your tears, leaning in to kiss your forehead, down to your eyelids as he kissed your tears away. He pulled away and you opened your eyes, giving each other a relieved and happy smile.

“I love you,” he said, and he swore he saw the brightest smile he’s ever seen—brighter than the sun. “Always have and always will.”

“And I love you. C-Can you kiss me, please?”

Harry grinned. “It would be an honor.”

Placing his palms on the side of your face, he leaned his forehead against yours. Your hands were wrapped around his wrists, rubbing his skin softly. With a smile, he kissed you with such softness and passion that the flowers bloomed largely and the sun shined ever so brightly. The kids cheered and clapped, making bystanders think that you’d just gotten engaged, but you both knew that would be the next step. Your stomach was in knots, butterflies surrounding your body as he captured your lips with his. Hugging Harry’s waist, you pulled him closer and wrapped your arms around him, and he kissed you harder, effortlessly moving his lips in sync with yours as if he was a pro on kissing you, which he was.

Harry pulled away first, giving you several pecks before opening his eyes. “God, I missed doing that. Missed you so much, darling.”

“I missed you too, baby.” You were high on happiness, high on love. “I’m sorry it took us this long.” A slight frown appeared on your face, but Harry kissed it away.

“Hey, hey. None of that. I would’ve loved you until the end of time. I don’t care how long it took, you’re my forever,” he vowed, not planning to break that promise.

Missing his lips on yours, you leaned up to kiss him again while your arms were wrapped around his neck and his were around your waist, holding you tightly as if he was afraid you’d run off.

Suddenly, you started giggling into the kiss, making Harry smile before he pulled away.

“What’s so funny?” He asked. You started thinking about the conversation from the park when you asked him if he was seeing someone.

You curled in your lips before you said, “You’re a literal dilf, and I’m so in love with you.”

please tell me all of your thoughts, feelings, favorite moments and scenes! thank you for reading <3

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles ff #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x yn #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles reader insert #harry styles au #dad!harry #harry styles fic #harry styles writing #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine

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triptuckers · 3 years

Text

Come back to me - Jesper Fahey

Request: yes! "Hi, how are you? Would it be okay for me request a Jesper fic? Maybe something where the reader and Jesper are together and she is also part of the Crows. Since she has a set of skills quite similar to Inej, the two of you are usually paired up during crows missions. On this particular mission you are also paired up with Inej while the others are off somehwhere doing their part of the mission. But then when the two of you don’t appear at the rendezvous point on the agreed upon time Jesper grows extremely worried that something might’ve happened. What completly takes him over the edge is when a wounded Inej appears stating that something happened that resulted in you getting separated from each other and that she was hoping that maybe you arrived already and that’s she doesn’t know what state you might be in." Pairing: Jesper Fahey x reader Summary: When you don't show up at the rendezvous point in time, Jesper starts to worry about you, especially when Inej - your partner for the job - shows up without you Warnings: angst, mentions of blood, death, vomiting, bruises, language Word count: 3.1K A/N: you ask for angst? I shall write angst TAG LIST (Jesper Fahey): @mufnasa @mmvi-cdxx @brick-by-brick553@treasureofmy-heart TAG LIST (grishaverse): @ayushmitadutta @mrs-brekker15 @dancingwith-sunflowers @thegirlwiththeimpala @parker-natasha @story-scribbler@romanoffstarkovs @daliareads @meiitanoia @itsnotquimey @sanktaesperanza@whymyparentscheckmyphone @aleksanderwh0r3 @ilovemarvelanne1@marlenaisnthappy @brekker-zenik @just-deka @graceknxwlson @the-very-tired-mess @sassybadqueen

There's an anxious feeling in the air. Everyone's feeling it, too nervous to talk. But no one is as nervous or anxious as Jesper.

All of them are waiting at the rendezvous point. All of them, except for you and Inej. Kaz had told them to meet at midnight sharp, and almost everyone was on time. Even Jesper was, which is rare.

He'd expected you to wait there for him, to wave happily at him. You were always smiling a lot when a job went well. He was ready to greet you and pull you in a tight hug, but when he arrived with Nina, only Kaz, Matthias and Wylan had returned.

Jesper figured you'd be there, but he'd just have to wait a little longer. There was still time until midnight. But as the minutes grow, and there's no sign of you or Inej, Jesper is getting more nervous.

After a while, he can't take it anymore, and starts to pace around. He's fidgeting with his fingers or twisting his guns in the air. Anything to help him stay focused.

'Jesper, stop being so twitchy.' snaps Kaz. 'You're making everyone nervous.'

'They should have been back fifteen minutes ago.' says Jesper, matching Kaz' irritated tone. 'We all know Y/N and Inej are always on time.'

'Then worry in silence.' says Kaz.

'How the fuck can you say that?' says Jesper, getting frustrated no one seems to be as stressed as he is. 'Did you not hear me? They are always on time.'

'Well maybe-'

Kaz' voice is cut off by a sharp gasp from Nina. Jesper whirls around to see what Nina's looking at. In the distance, they see someone emerge from the shadows.

Whoever it is, they appear to be hurt. They're pressing a hand to their side and leaning heavily to one side as they walk.

Jesper's heart begins to race. He senses everyone around him tenses up as well. His hand is on one of his guns in case it's a trap.

Then the figure emerges from the dark and they see it's Inej.

While he should be glad to see Inej is alive, this makes Jesper even more worried.

Inej showing up, alone. And hurt. What did that have to say about your state? And where are you?

Jesper stands rooted to the spot, but Nina rushes over to Inej. She helps her to walk the last bit to the others. Nina starts to go over Inej' injuries, but Inej only looks at Jesper.

'We got separated.' she says, looking utterly miserable. 'There were guards we didn't expect and we would have a bigger chance of getting away if we split up. We were supposed to meet up again, but I never saw Y/N. I would have waited longer, but I need a healer or a medic.'

Jesper forces a nod at Inej. 'At least you're safe.' he says before peering in the distance, looking for you. He can't be mad that Inej made it back and you didn't. It's not Inej' fault.

'I don't know where she is or if she's okay.' says Inej, voice breaking as she speaks. 'I'm so sorry Jesper.'

'Don't be.' says Jesper, voice tense with anxiety. 'It's not your fault.'

Kaz steps in front of Inej, looking at her bloodied side.

'Matthias, Wylan, get Inej back to the Slat. Find a healer or a medic. And fast.' says Kaz.

None of them move.

'I could heal her here.' offers Nina. 'Then we can all stay.'

Jesper knows they're al worried about you. They want you to come back. Everyone always comes back. So you have to come back as well.

'It's too risky.' says Kaz. 'I need you here in case we find Y/N and you can still heal her.'

'Don't say that.' mumbles Jesper.

'Don't say what?' says Kaz.

'In case we find her.' says Jesper, repeating Kaz' words. 'We'll find her. We're going to find her.'

'Then we have to get moving.' says Nina. 'And fast.'

After Inej tells them where she last saw you, Matthias and Wylan take her back to the Slat, leaving the others behind.

'We have to split up.' says Kaz. 'We haven't been made yet, but no doubt they're going to send more guards. So be quiet, but fast. Find a way to signal the others if- when we find her.'

Without waiting another second, Jesper takes off.

He walks through the dark, listening for any sound. His heart hammers in this chest, and he's afraid someone can hear it. He's not sure if he even wants to find you. The thought of finding you heavily injured - or worse - is almost unbearable.

Right before you and Inej said goodbye to the others, you'd winked at him. Told him that you'd buy the first round of drinks that night. He'd laughed and said he would buy the first round, insisted on being a gentleman for you.

He'd never even considered you might not make it back.

Jesper manoeuvres through the dark, a hand on his gun in case he ran into trouble.

He's listening for any sound of you, or a signal of Kaz or Nina. Then he thinks of Inej, who got hurt. She didn't say how she got hurt or who was responsible. He should have asked her when he had the chance.

His eyes notice something on the ground, glistering in the moonlight.

Jesper crouches down to take a closer look at it. He thought it was water at first, but one look at the dark liquid and he notices it is blood.

Fuck.

Could it belong to Inej? Or one of her attackers? And if it wasn't one of those, did it belong to you? Was this why you didn't show up at the rendezvous point?

Jesper looks further ahead and sees more drops of blood. Occasionally there's more, indicating whoever it was that was bleeding had stopped, then continued to walk.

With newfound hope, Jesper follow the trail.

He might not like what he'll find, but if it was you, he could help. He didn't know a lot about healing and treating injuries, but he could help stop the bleeding. He'd signal for Kaz or Nina, and Nina would be able to heal you.

His pace quickens and he doesn't care how much sound he makes or who might hear him. If that blood was yours, he had to find you. And he had to find you fast.

Jesper walks around a corner and spots a figure in the distance.

They're walking slowly, occasionally stopping to lean against the wall. Then they push themselves up to keep on walking.

Jesper slowly inches closer, a hand on his gun. Then the person in the distance walks through a stream of light of a street light, and he recognises the hair colour.

'Oh, fuck.' he murmurs. Then he takes off in a run.

When he's right behind you, you turn around, knife in your hand. But Jesper can tell you don't have enough strength left in your body to fight off someone.

Jesper's eyes widen when he sees your blood soaked clothes.

'No.' he says. 'Oh fuck, fuck, no.'

It seems like his voice brings you back to reality.

'Jes?' you say in a hoarse voice. 'What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at the rendezvous point.'

'Oh, saints, Y/N, this is bad.' he mumbles.

'I think you need to buy the first round.' you manage to choke out. And then you collapse in his arms.

'No!' says Jesper, louder than he meant to. But he doesn't care who might hear him right now. He's still got his guns and his quick shooting skills.

Jesper pulls you in his lap, pressing a hand to your bleeding side.

'Sorry.' you say softly.

'What on earth do you have to apologise for?' mumbles Jesper as he focuses on your injuries.

'M bleeding all over your coat. I know it's your favourite.' you say, pouting slightly.

'I'll get a new one.' says Jesper. 'Save your strength. What happened?'

'Inej and I got jumped. We ran. Inej got stabbed. Then I got stabbed. And I got shot. I also got punched in the face so I'll be less pretty with a huge bruise on my face.' you say softly, feeling your eyes grow heavier.

Jesper seems to notice and gently pats your cheek.

'Stay awake for me, love.' he says, his voice slightly trembling. 'Still need to buy you that drink.'

'Hmm.' you hum, briefly closing your eyes. 'Did Inej make it back?'

'Yes, Wylan and Matthias took her back to the Slat, she'll be okay. Like you.' says Jesper. 'Help is on the way.

You reach out and grab one of Jesper's hands. You smile weakly and Jesper shakes his head.

'No, no, don't you dare.' he says, tears forming in his eyes. 'Don't you fucking dare say goodbye, Y/N. This is not goodbye.'

'Just in case.' you say softly. 'In case I don't make it.'

'Don't say that!' says Jesper, getting frustrated with you. 'You're not dying on me now, Y/N, just hold on a little longer.'

'M trying.' you say. 'It hurts.'

'I know it does, love, just stay awake for me. At least long enough until Nina comes.' says Jesper.

'You know I love you, right?' you say softly, voice barely louder than a whisper.

'Don't say goodbye.' says Jesper. 'Don't go.'

'Say it back.' you say.

Jesper shakes his head. 'I'll tell you when you're okay, when Nina's taking care of you.' he says.

'Jesper, please.' you say, almost begging him. 'Say it back.'

'When you're okay.' says Jesper, tears now falling down his cheeks.

You squeeze his hand with as much strength as you can gather, silently asking him again.

'I love you.' he says softly. 'I always have and I always will.'

You smile weakly and feel your eyes become heavier. 'Good to know.' you whisper.

And then you close your eyes.

Jesper's eyes widen. 'No.' he says, softly shaking you. 'No, no, fuck!'

His fingers quickly search for a pulse, but in his panicked state he can barely concentrate.

'No, no, no.' he keeps mumbling.

He looks up, desperate to see Nina or Kaz. But there's no one. No one but you laying in his arms, closed eyes and a shirt soaked with blood.

'Nina!' he yells. He doesn't care who can hear him. Friend or foe, he needs someone.

'Nina!' Jesper yells again. 'Nina! Over here! I found her! Nina!'

He keeps yelling until his voice is hoarse and his throat sore. He keeps on yelling and yelling until finally, someone runs toward him in the distance.

'Nina.' he says weakly. 'I- uh- I found her.'

Nina immediately flexes her fingers and starts to work on your injuries. Jesper wants to ask her if you're going to be okay, but he's afraid of the answer.

While Nina words on healing you, Kaz finds you as well. His expression is blank as he looks at your limp body in Jesper's arms. He tries not to show it, but he's terrified as well.

Finally, Nina turns to Jesper.

'I did the best I could.' she says softly. 'We have to take her back to the Slat, find a proper healer. She might still have a chance.'

'Okay.' says Jesper, suddenly feeling numb, as if he no longer has any emotion in his body.

'Can you carry her back to the Slat?' asks Nina.

Jesper nods, rising to his feet while clutching your body to his chest.

He walks back to the Slat as fast as he can, followed by Nina and Kaz. He's trying not to look down at your face, or think too much about you.

Instead, he forces himself to focus on Nina's words.

She might still have a chance.

It was going to be okay. They'd find a Grisha healer who could help you. Who could heal you where Nina couldn't. You were going to be okay.

Back at the Slat, it looks like Inej only had minor injuries. She's sitting in a chair, fresh bandages peeking out underneath her shirt. She jumps to her feet when she sees you in Jesper's arms, and winces at the sudden movement.

Jesper doesn't say anything, merely spares her a glance as he starts to walk up the stairs to your shared room.

He pushes open the door and gently places you on the bed.

Jesper sinks into a chair next to the bed and allows his tears to flow freely. You don't look like yourself. Your face is pale, your shirt still soaked with blood. You looked like a stranger to him. He doesn't want this to be his last memory of you.

He has no sense of time, and when Nina bursts through the door, he doesn't know how long it has been. She's closely followed by a boy Jesper doesn't know.

Nina quickly introduces him as a Grisha healer, and the boy gets to work.

Nina watches Jesper, who is watching you.

'Jes?' she says softly. 'Are you okay?'

Jesper shakes his head. 'I'm going to throw up.' he says, and then he rushes to the bathroom, falling to his knees in front of the toilet. Nina rubs his back as he throws up.

He stays there, unable to look at you any longer and afraid he might throw up again. He's trembling all over and no matter how hard he tries it, he can't seem to make it stop. Nina stands between the door of the bathroom and the bed, watching both you and Jesper.

Finally, Jesper hears the healer speak up.

'That's it.' he says. 'I've healed her, she should wake up in a few days. Don't wake her, just wait for her to wake up on her own.' he says.

Jesper hears how the healer leaves, and Nina is back by his side.

'Jesper?' she says.

He looks over his shoulder at her, and is met by her smile but also her tear stained cheeks. Of course. You're their friend too.

'I'll change her shirt, okay? Maybe you can come back after that? Sit with her?' she says.

Jesper nods and pushes himself to his feet. 'There's clean shirts in the closet.' he says softly. 'Just grab one, doesn't matter if it belongs to me or her.'

He waits for a few minutes before entering the room again. Nina's changed your shirt and got rid of the bloodied shirt. Your hair is still messy and there's indeed a nasty bruise forming on your face.

But most of your wounds are covered in bandages. Jesper holds back new tears as he approaches you.

He slowly sits down in the chair and takes your hand in his. He's surprised by how warm it still is. He hopes that's a good sign.

'Y/N, love?' he says softly. 'Look, I don't know if you can hear me, but I need you to wake up, okay? Just come back to me. I still have to buy that first round of drinks. And I still need to take you to Novyi Zem to dad's farm. You still have to meet him.'

He reaches out to brush some of your hair out of your face.

'Come back to me, sweetheart. I need you. I can't do this without you.' says Jesper softly.

He sits with you for a while, just looking at you and holding your hand. Occasionally, someone comes in to check on you or Jesper. Eventually, sleep takes over.

Jesper wakes to the feeling of something on his cheek.

When he opens his eyes, he sees it's your hand. Your eyes are open and you're softly talking to someone who is standing behind him. When you notice he's awake, you offer a weak smile.

'Hey you.' you say softly.

At the sound of your voice, new tears roll down his cheek.

'Oh, saints.' he says, lifting his head and grabbing your hand with both of his, pressing kisses to your bruised knuckles. 'Fuck, I thought you weren't going to wake up.' he says.

'Can't get rid of me that easily.' you say. You look at the person standing behind Jesper. 'Thanks for the tea, Inej.' you say.

Jesper hears the door closing behind him. Though the didn't hear any footsteps, he knows Inej left the room.

You look at him again.

'Don't you ever fucking do that again, you hear me?' he says firmly. 'Never. Saints, that was awful.'

'Sorry.' you say. 'Your eyes are red.'

'Yeah, no shit. I thought you died in my arms. I threw up a lot.' he says.

'I thought I died in your arms.' you say. 'Next thing I know I wake up with Inej watching me so intensely I thought she was going to stare right through me.'

Jesper chuckles and pulls his chair closer to you.

'I'm serious, though.' he says. 'Don't do that again.'

'I won't.' you say. 'I asked Kaz to put me on some of the low risk jobs for a while. Just until I feel like I'm ready to handle more.'

'Smart.' says Jesper.

'I'm sorry, really.' you say. 'That you had to go through that. I can't imagine what if felt like.'

Jesper raises his eyebrows. 'You almost died and you're the one apologising to me?' he says.

'For almost dying in your arms, yes.' you correct him.

'Don't apologise.' says Jesper. 'Just tell me whoever did this so I can put a bullet in their head.'

This time, you raise your eyebrows. 'You think I let them get away?' you say.

'Well, I don't know. Maybe?' says Jesper. 'You could barely walk when I found you.'

'I did let them get away.' you say. 'But with at least three knives in their chest. There's a good change I hit a lung or some other vital organ.'

Jesper grins. 'That's my girl.' he says.

You smile at him. 'Now come here.' you say. 'As long as you don't lay your entire body weight on top of me, you can lay next to me.'

You carefully scoot over and make some room for him. Jesper climbs into the bed next to you and you rest your head on his chest.

'Thank you.' you say.

'For what?' says Jesper.

'Staying with me.' you say.

'Always.' says Jesper, and you feel how he kisses your forehead before you fall asleep.

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit

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