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#like 5........wait 5 years ago is not as far as i think it is.........7 years ago (ugh) i woudlnt have understood what she was saying

hellish-sunsets · 3 months

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Curses and Blessings - Chapter 1

Chapter 2 ~ Chapter 3 ~ Chapter 4 ~ Chapter 5 ~ Chapter 6 ~ Chapter 7 ~ Chapter 8 ~ Chapter 9

Summary:

When they found two souls who worked the best together, who would uplift each other to good, they would grasp those two souls at the moment of their birth. This touch would leave behind a mark, each mark varied and unique.

Was this supposed to be a blessing or a curse?

Word Count: 1420

Warning: self harm, self hate, depression

Read on AO3

(set up, baby!)

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When she was little, Charlie went to her father whenever she got the chance to hear him tell a story. Her mother would often tell her no, that he was too busy with important work, but if she managed to sneak away, sometimes she could get him to tell her stories.

Her favorite was about the marks.

He would say that once, a very very long time ago, the angels looked down upon humanity and saw their struggles. Sin had taken hold of them leading them astray and causing them to get lost. They worried and they fussed and they discussed, until finally they reached a decision. They could not interfere themselves. Now that humanity had the choice, they had to choose to be good themselves. But perhaps, if they had someone else who could help make them better, happier people, that would help.

So, they made a creature, not an angel and not a demon, with no wings for them to fly away and no eyes to see what was happening around them in the present. They took their creation to a room made just for them on top of the tallest tower in heaven, far away from anything and everything, away from the most holy of places and the most evil. They sealed the creature in, and left them for eternity.

So, they started their work.

With the powers granted to them, they outstretched their hands, and in an instant they saw all the minds of all humanity. In a moment, they knew everyone’s thoughts and hearts. When they found two souls who worked the best together, who would uplift each other to good, they would grasp those two souls at the moment of their birth. This touch would leave behind a mark, each mark varied and unique. Some resembled pictures, others were just a swirl of color and lines, and only those two souls would match each other.

At first, only humans received these soul marks. It made sense, they were the ones the angels deemed in need of this gift. But isolation leads one to thinking. They wondered why humanity were the only ones to receive such a gift. They knew that, locked away in their empty room in this tower so far away from existence, they knew no one could stop them. So, with a slight twist of their lips, if they did have any, they looked further.

It wasn’t known who had the first soul mark outside of humanity, whether angel or demon, but it was made clear rather quickly that those naturally born in those realms would also be allowed this gift, though not quite as common.

“And that is how we all got our marks.” Lucifer told Charlie with a loving smile, cradling the girl in his protective embrace. And every time, she would look up at him with those beautiful, big eyes of hers, full of so much wonder and innocence. He hoped it would never fade. She would giggle with excitement and look at her own mark, a swirl of color on her inner arm. She swore since she was young that it looked like two birds flying together, but he couldn’t see it. Not that it mattered much as long as she was happy.

“I bet they’re the best person ever! I can’t wait to meet them!” She happily babbled on, and he hummed in agreement, resting his chin on top of her soft hair and returning to the scattered papers on his desk, the sound of the pen scratching against the paper mixing with the sound of his daughters happy chatter. His chest swelled with a never ending fountain of love.

It was a memory he went back to often as the years turned harsh and empty. In the moments when he felt just as isolated as that poor creature he told Charlie stories about so long ago. In the deadest moments of the night, when it was just him curled up in his far-too-large bed, he sank into those warm memories like a comforting embrace. But it hurt just as much as helped, a reminder of what he had lost and, he believed in his darkest moments, what he would never have again.

Some nights he would glare at his own mark with red, tear filled eyes. Other nights, it was with a deep longing, the faintest of hopes he knew was pointless and painful.

When the marks had started appearing so long ago, they appeared only on humans who were just born. Even when the shift happened, it still only appeared with the birth of the demon or angel. Those few who existed before the marks first appeared simply did not get one. For whatever reason, you had to be born with it.

But Lucifer was not born with his. The only one to just have it appear, as far as he knew. He remembered little about when it happened, but he could vividly recall the sight of when it formed. It was a burst of color, like golden ink sliding up his arm from his wrist and dancing across the pale skin of his arm. He remembered the awe, the confusion, the anxiety, as those golden lines sank into his skin and settled into an array of gold, orange, and pink, like a sunset. It was beautiful, and terrifying. That was when he started wearing the gloves. It was several days before they got the news from heaven about the marks appearing on non-humans.

Of course, he couldn’t hide it from Lillith forever. At the time he thought they had worked through it. He was adamant they could still love eachother deeply despite this mark. The likelihood of him even ever meating whoever this person was was next to impossible. She had his whole heart, his everything. And she seemed to accept it.

But when she left so many, many years later, that mark, that damned mark, was at the top of her list of reasons. She could only spit out that she was clearly not meant for him as stormed out with Charlie in her arms, his little girl, his world, staring back at him with wide, fear filled eyes.

And then they were just,,, gone.

He never thought much of the mark until then, his claws digging into the tainted skin as he sobbed and wailed through the night, begging to that being in that damned tower to take it away, to bring back his family. What was the point of it, of any of this?

Was this supposed to be a blessing or a curse? Everyone else considered it a blessing, a promise that someone was out there for them, a hope that they could one day find their better half.

But there was no such thing for him. He had love, he had a wife, he had his daughter, everything he could ever want. All this damned mark did was take that from him, ruin his life. He was sure it was punishment for his disobedience. He deserved it after he cursed humanity to sin and evil. He didn’t deserve happiness, didn’t deserve love

Still, he couldn’t stop the anger that bubbled up as he sat alone in bed, glaring at the sunset of colors. The finger that was absentmindedly tracing the lines of color flexed, claw digging into his skin, a line of blood falling from the puncture and dripping onto the white sheets. His face twisted, a mix of fury and pain as he sank all five claws into his arms, tearing, Tears streamed down his face as a sob tore through his lungs. The sheets were stained in gold once more, and he almost felt sorry for the cleaning staff. Why was he like this? Why couldn’t he keep himself together for fucking once in his life?

He knew he was spiraling, but he couldn’t stop. It was only what he deserved, the pain, the injury. Eventually he collapsed onto the mattress, sobbing and gasping, staring at the mess that once was his arm. At least the mark was gone. And yet, he knew it would be back by morning. The damage would heal over and the mark would remain, the reminder of all his failings and downfalls, a reminder of just how worthless and undeserving he was of anything but pain and loneliness and disappointment.

The bloodloss forced a heaviness on his body and his eyes slid closed, sleep finally taking him into a realm of emptiness.

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it-was-too-cold-always · 3 months

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Always Read the Fine Print Chapter 12

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11

Who actually reads all the terms and conditions? After mindlessly checking a box years ago, our Reader unintentionally agrees to be part of a scientific study to create super soldier babies. To make matters worse, her fellow test subject is the brooding and intimidating Bucky Barnes.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Reader struggles to accept this colder relationship with Bucky. Meanwhile's he's up to something...

Warnings: arranged marriage, forced proximity, lots of angst, violence, PTSD/nightmares, panic attacks, language, SMUT 18+ only, oral fem receiving, unprotected sex, size kink, let me know if I'm missing anything

a/n: Hi friends, I'm sorry it's been so long. My depression came at me like a b*tch. But I'm here now and will hopefully be posting more regularly 💕

Every night, Bucky would hand you that stupid syringe. Your heart sunk a little each time he’d knock on the door. You were hoping he was coming to spend time with you, to tell you everything was going to be okay, to hold you. But instead, he would put the syringe in your hand, kiss your forehead, and leave the room. That was it.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, he was spending all his time with Steve - almost every day. You could hear them talking downstairs. You could never actually make out what they were saying, but you could hear their serious tones murmuring through the thin walls. You considered standing at the top of the stairs so you could eavesdrop, but you knew better than to spy on two super soldiers. So instead you paced around the bedroom–the one that you were supposed to be sharing with Bucky–and waited for Steve to leave. Although no one outright said it, you got the feeling that you weren’t invited to their little chats. One time, you went downstairs with the excuse of needing a snack. They immediately shifted the topic to Steve’s recent mission. Steve, ever the gentleman, would greet you with a warm smile and invite you to sit with them. He’d ask you how you’re feeling, how your day was going, if you’ve read any good books lately. You appreciated his kindness but felt a little awkward – surely they were itching for you to leave so they could return to their conversation. Once the small talk became unbearable, you’d fake a headache and excuse yourself. You claimed you were going to go lie down, but they could hear your faint footsteps pacing on the hardwood above them.

Bucky was completely and utterly miserable. He was still fuming about the sensors they implanted in you. You were his wife, and he couldn’t protect you. It made him feel powerless. He couldn’t stop thinking about how panicked you were the last time you had sex. He could feel your anxiety. He couldn’t help but think he violated you in some way. This prevented him from giving you any affection; he was terrified of crossing a boundary with you. The forehead kisses were as far as he dared to go. Deep down, he knew he should sit down and have a conversation with you about it. But if he heard you say outright that you don’t want to be intimate with him anymore, he would be devastated.

After three weeks of doing this ridiculous syringe routine, you couldn’t take it anymore. He handed you the syringe, kissed your forehead, and turned to leave. Just like every other night. But this time, you reached out to grab his hand.

“Please don’t go,” you whispered, tears already welling up in your eyes. You’d be embarrassed if you weren’t so desperate for his attention.

“Oh, doll…” Bucky wasn’t sure what to say. His heart was breaking, seeing you like this.

“Please, just stay the night. We don’t even have to talk. Just spend the night with me,” you begged, tears freely falling down your cheeks. “I miss you.” Your confession was all it took for Bucky to realize what an idiot he was. He was so desperate to protect you, he didn’t even occur to him that he might be hurting you.

“Of course, sweetheart. I’m right here. I’m sorry I left you alone so much,” Bucky admitted, pulling you into a tight hug. “I was so scared I’d upset you, but I seriously screwed up.” He rubbed your back as you let all your tears fall. All those weeks of feeling so alone, but you finally had your Bucky back. You wanted to smack him and kiss him at the same time.

He helped you with the syringe, which was oddly romantic. He was very gentle. Once that was over with, he pulled you into his chest, running his hands through your hair and down your back. You let out a long sigh – you had missed this so much. You forgot how your head felt resting on his toned muscles, how warm his chest was, how safe you felt. It was like a dream. A wonderful, euphoric dream.

“Do you trust me?” Bucky asked softly. The question caught you so off guard, your finger paused before it could finish tracing the scars on his chest. Propping yourself up, you looked at him quizzically. “Of course I do. What kind of question is that?” you replied. You were trying not to be offended that he would doubt you.

“All I’ve wanted to do is protect you,” he began, sitting up to fully face you. He took your hands in his, mindlessly fidgeting with the diamond ring on your left hand. “But I’ve failed every time.”

“Bucky–“ you tried to cut him off, but he continued.

“No matter how hard I try, you end up getting hurt. I hope you can forgive me. Some days I can barely live with myself, knowing how much pain I’ve caused you.”

“Bucky, for Christ’s sake. This is NOT your fault!” you interjected, hating to see him beat himself up like this.

“Doll, please just let me explain. It’s important,” he said, giving your hands a small squeeze. You nodded slowly and stayed silent, letting him continue. The urgency in his voice was scaring you. “You deserve better than to stay here and pay for my sins. I can’t stand to watch you suffer like this. Okay? I need you to understand.” His pleading eyes looked deep into yours. The more he talked, the more fearful you became. “I’ve told you some of the atrocities I’ve committed as HYDRA’s assassin. The things I’ve done to further their agenda, to get them in power,” he sighed deeply before continuing. “With the number of times they scrambled my brain, they assumed I couldn’t remember anything. That I wouldn’t recognize faces. But I do. I remember all of them.”

Your heart was breaking for the man in front of you. All those people he killed and all the ones that made him do it. They all take up space in his mind. No wonder he never sleeps.

“The HYDRA members they arrested when I was freed…that was only a small fraction of them. HYRDRA is everywhere. If I break you out, there’s nowhere we could go that would be safe. I can’t rescue you until I dismantle HYDRA.” He paused and waited for your reaction. He wasn’t sure how you’d respond to all this.

“Wait a second…are you saying HYDRA is behind all this? I mean that would make sense, this whole reproducing super soldiers thing is messed up, and they’re not exactly known for being ethical. But HYDRA working inside SHIELD? All this time? That’s…” You wanted to say impossible, but ever since your world got turned upside down, you don’t know what to expect anymore. You’ve completely lost sense of what’s normal. “So what do we do? If it’s as big as you say, there’s no way you can take them down alone.”

Bucky let out a deep sigh, looking around the room as if the words he’s trying to find will reveal themselves in the wallpaper. His gaze meets yours, but he won’t find the answer in your eyes either. He held your hands in his and took a deep breath.

“Steve and I have a plan. But we’re gonna need your help.”

Taglist 💛

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#bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky x reader #marvel

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we-out-here-simping · 8 months

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Wasting Time.

(s.h. x gn!reader)

summary: given everything happening in Hawkins, Steve ends up pushing you away too far.

word count: 6k+

warnings/tags: no pronouns used (gender neutral reader); no y/n used; sad; i dont plan on writing a part two to this; s4 stuff; insecure reader; death; loss; injuries; mention of steve's parents; ollie is the real mvp in this tbh; unresolved? yay;

a/n: based off of Lizzy McAlpine’s song, “..what are we?” This was meant to be below 2k. I fought it to keep it below 2k. I lost, immensely and pathetically so. but that's okay.

as for my other stuff, I truly don't know when I'll post it. I've got pretty important things I have going on in life and i really need to do well in a life altering test next year so everything else is on the back burner rn. sorry to those who are really looking forward the next parts but don't u worry I will post them ;)

my masterlist

You shouldn't be at the store alone.

Considering the recent murders in Hawkins. You really, truly shouldn't be alone.

It isn't like you wanted to be. But the owner of the store you worked at did not necessarily give two shits about you. Refusing to pay you if you didn't show up for a few days. So, it isn't like you had much of a choice.

You sat on the rickety old swivel chair, that your asshole boss wouldn't change. The news was playing non-stop in the background– never in your entire life have you had the news channel on for so long.

The new chief of police was being interviewed by the reporters, telling the viewers to stay calm and assuring that they had it all under control. It didn't help to ease your mind.

You were not calm. Not one bit.

With each movement you made, the rusty metal of the chair groaned underneath you.

You were thinking of calling him again.

You rotated a little. The chair screeched again.

Why hadn't he even bothered to call you back yet?

Your leg bounced. The metal creaked.

Frustrated, you abandon the stupid chair with a pathetic scoff. Opting to just sit on the counter, facing away from the door. You gripped the edge of the surface, teeth gnawing at your lips as you looked at his jacket draped atop the chair you were occupying just seconds ago. His jacket.

What if he didn't want you to call him? Your grip tightened.

You haven't heard from your boyfriend since thursday.

You both had planned to go out on friday— the boy hadn't exactly told you where he had planned for you two to go. He had instead told you to, “Wear something cute like you always do. Bring Ollie with you if y’wanna and I'll pick you up from yours at 5?”

You had bought a new outfit, a couple weeks prior. you had put all your last month's salary into it. Your favourite colour.

You did your hair, a little bit of your face as well. Looking in the mirror, you had looked….. nice.

Something about that realisation had conjured up a lump in your throat. It was rare that you considered yourself good looking. Which is probably why you barely ever dressed up. But at that moment, as you looked in the mirror, a smile grew on your face, one that couldn't be contained.

You couldn't wait for Steve to see you.

You were ready before the clock even hit 4:35.

You waited. No sign of him.

When the clock hit 5:15, you went out onto your driveway, your dog, Ollie following behind you. You waited, pacing the concrete.

6:05, you were sitting on the stairs infront of the door, your dog's head on your lap. You waited.

6:45, your shoulders were slumped, your own head rested on your knees. Ollie napping beside you. You waited.

7:27, it was dark, Ollie whined to go back in. your eyes stung a little. But you scratched him behind his ears and decided to wait out just a little more.

When the clock hit 8:00, you finally got up, dusting the dirt and dust off your brand new clothes. Blinking back the salty tears, you quietly went back to your room after giving your dog his food and water. You changed into your ugly PJs, not bothering with anything else, as you buried yourself in your blankets.

Soon, you heard scratching on your bedroom door, your dog waiting to be let in.

You smiled with a sniffle, letting him jump onto the mattress with you despite your mom’s strict rule to not let the dog onto beds, sofas or carpets. the dog whined a little before laying next to you.

Ollie loved Steve. They had not exactly started on the right foot when Ollie almost bit the boy when you had tried sneaking him in one night. But after some time, they both warmed up to each other– to the point where it became common for Ollie to tag along with you and Steve on dates.

“I'm sorry bud”, you stroked the fur on his head, "i know how much you like hanging out with him." He whined again, warm tongue licking your fingers.

You knew he didn't really understand, a dog couldn't understand insecurities and the utter disdain of being stood up by someone you loved. Yet here he was, sharing your sorrows and wordlessly warming up your blues. Not there because he empathised with you or pitied you but there because he loved you.

The next morning when you woke up, you went immediately to your bathroom, to try and clean the mess that you hadn't the previous night.

Your eyes were red and puffy. You did look like someone who cried themself to sleep. You tried to scrub it all off, not even bothering with being gentle with your poor skin.

You didn't feel pretty when you looked in the mirror now. You felt pathetic.

“Honey!” your mom shouted from the kitchen, downstairs.

“Yeah, coming”, you shouted back as loudly as you could– which wasn't very loud at all.

As you climbed down, you were met with Ollie, tail wagging, nails clicking against the floor.

“Would just not take the breakfast from me”, your brother commented, handing you the dog bowl that was filled with Ollie’s food, “What a dramatic son of a bitch.... literally”

The dramatic son of a bitch in question, looked up at the two of you with big round eyes, tongue out, drool spilling out on the floor. You held up a finger, the dog immediately sat down– wagging tail sweeping the floor behind him. You finally put the bowl down and told the dog to dig in.

“Did you make him sleep in the bed again?” your mother spoke from behind her magazine.

“Why would I do that?” you lied as you refilled his water bowl.

“Because when I came to call you for dinner last night, he was sleeping on your bed, with you.”

“Oh”, a sheepish expression over your face, “I'll clean the bedsheets, okay?”

“and why did you skip dinner–”

Your mother thankfully got interrupted by the loud sound of the front door opening, followed by quick footsteps. “Did you check the news?”, your dad panted, he moved towards the tv in the living room, not bothering to take off his running shoes.

“No, dad. It's only you who is boring enough to watch the news”, your brother’s joke landed flat.

“What happened?”, your mother asked, brows furrowed.

“A Hawkins student was found dead.”

The bell above the door rang, you turned to look at the customer and you felt as if your heart had hit a rib.

There was Steve Harrington, bursting in through the doors, wearing clothes you'd never seen him in before.

He wasn't alone. The boy was accompanied by Dustin Henderson, Max Mayfield, Lucas and Erica Sinclair, Robin Buckley, and Nancy Wheeler. Most of them looked to be covered in dust, grime and worse.

They, without looking in your direction, broke into groups of two, one led by the older girls and the other by Steve, moving frantically through the aisles to get what they needed. It must have been an emergency. Considering all the recent happenings, it might be.

After a few minutes, the group led by Nancy and Robin stood infront of the counter and you started billing everything. A couple minutes later, the group led by Steve joined them as well. It is when they are pouring the stuff onto the counter when Steve finally notices that it's you.

His movements stuttered a little as if he'd just remembered that you worked here and he opened his mouth to say something but closed it before anything could come out.

The silence was awkward and deafening– the others definitely noticed. The only sound that came was the beeps of the scanner. You wondered if Steve had told them about the both of you.

When you moved to put everything in a bag, Steve stepped a little closer to help with putting all the stuff into the grocery bags, it is then that you noticed the boy's skin.

The skin which you knew to be soft to the touch was covered in dirt. Slashes and cuts wound around his neck, a piece of dirty cloth peeking from under the hem of his camo shirt. Blood.

You didn't realise you were frozen stuck until you heard him clearing his throat.

You realised that that the boy had already paid the total, the crumbled up cash placed on the counter. The rustling of the grocery bags alerted you that were moving to leave.

“S– Steve?” your voice came out an unsure whisper.

They all stopped. He looked over his shoulder, then back to his friends, “You guys go on”, he said to them, handing the two bags he was holding to Lucas and Dustin, “ I'll be out in a minute” They silently nodded before leaving to get into a van.

You spoke up when the bell above the door rang on the door closing, “Wh– what is happening?”

He stood across from you, on the other side of the counter, not making any efforts to come closer as he normally would– maybe hoping that you wouldn't see the wounds that you had already seen. “Nothing”, he cleared his hoarse throat, “I'm– I'm sorry for friday–”

Sorry? Is that all you get?

“You're covered in blood and dirt”, you pointed out.

“Trust me it just looks worse than it actually is”, he let out a dry chuckle.

“Whose van is that?” your vision flickered to the winnebago parked infront of the store.

“A friend’s.”

“Which one?”

“Munson.”

“Munson? Like Eddie munson? Have you heard the news?--”

“Yeah I have”, his words came out quick, “and it isn't him.”

“How are you so sure?” your eyebrows drew together.

“I just.. “, he paused, “I just am.”

“And how did you get those? '', you said, nodding to his wounded neck. You wanted to touch him, to hold him, but there was still a counter between the two of you, and closing that distance felt.. wrong like you weren't supposed to do it.

“I got in a fight.”

“With what, a barbed wire?” it came out snappier than you had intended. You really tried to not hold his face in your palm.

“No”, his tone grew more frustrated with every question you asked.

“Then who?”

“No, why do you–”

“Cuz I'm– I'm worried about you Steve.” you interrupted to continue your rambling, “You could get like– tetanus or shit–”

“Hey, hey”, for a second you thought he was going to hold your face like you wanted to do to him, instead he placed his palm on your shoulder, “I’m fine, okay? I don't want you to be worried about me.”

“How the hell am I supposed to do that?” you whispered. “I just want you to tell me what's happening.” his hands fell back to his sides. “Just let me in”

“Nothings–”

“No! Something is happening”, you interjected, angry, worried, “Okay? I know. I know you don't always tell me everything. And that's fine, y'know– I thought you’d tell me when you felt like telling me but don't–” you take a quick breath, slowing down your quick words, “Don't– do you not trust me enough to tell me?”

“I do. But there isn't anything to tell you”, he tried his best to shrug while trying not to pull on the scabbing of his bloody torso– he held back a wince, “Nothings happening.”

There’s a beat.

You can tell he’s lying.

“Why didn't you show up on friday then?” you barely give him a couple seconds to answer before continuing, “God, when I heard someone had died that night, I– “ you stopped before he could hear the quiver of your voice, you gulped. “I called you fifteen times”

“I was at work”

“I went there the next morning to check– it was only Keith there. Told me you'd left already." He opened his mouth before closing it up again.

“Why are you lying to me?”

“And what is Nancy doing with you–” you hated that you were jealous, you never wanted to be that person. Hell, you and Nancy were almost friends in high school. But you couldn't lie and say that it didn't hurt to see them together right after he had bailed on you.

“Well if you noticed, it isn't just me and her, y’know. No need to be jealous–”

“Yeah, I will be jealous, okay? I will be jealous if you start hanging out with your ex and start ditching our dates–”

“I didn't ditch you–”

“I waited for three hours steve. You didn't even call me after or give me heads up. And you already know about everything that's happening in town, so I'm sorry I was worried shitless and you didn't even pick up my calls. And now you're with all these people– which is fine– they’re your friends but your ex is a part of these people. And you're bleeding and definitely wounded, and you won't tell me anything.”

“I will tell you okay, I just–”

“So, not now?”

“I'm running a little late–”

“To what?”

“I'll tell you later okay?”

“When?”

“Just later! Okay? I need to go and you're wasting my–”he stopped himself, seemingly having dug himself a hole. He quickly tried to correct himself, “I need to–”

Your heart had surely stopped, “What did you just say? I'm wasting your time?” tears pricked your eyes, “Is that what this is? A waste of time? Is that what the last eight months have been for you?”

“You know I didn't mean it like that”

“Then what did you mean?”

“I didn't– I ….”, he trailed off. The horn beeped and you heard a muffled shout for Steve's name in Dustin's voice.

You sniffled, “are you gonna get those taken care of at the hospital?” you referred to his wounds, your voice was suddenly so much quieter.

“....yeah”, he said after a moment– lying.

You nodded. “You still need to clean it up and”, you picked up rubbing alcohol, a painkiller bottle from the shelf behind you and some bandages, “bandage it.. ‘til you go to the hospital.” you tossed them over to him.

The horn of the winnebago blared. Steve looked back at the door, he reached for his wallet but you stopped him, “you don't need to. It's fine.” Steve heard you sniffle again.

“Baby–”

“For the record… it wasn't a waste of time for me", your voice cracked, “But I'm really sorry if I wasted your time.”

He stepped closer, shaking his head a little but you weren't looking up, eyes trained on the grain of the wooden counter, trying your darndest to not let the tears fall.

“You should go now.”

“honey–” the horn blared.

“Just go, Steve.”

You only dared to look up when you heard the bell above the door ring. Your vision was blurry as you watched the vehicle drive away.

Honestly, you get it. you understand.

You understand if the guy you loved wasn't willing to let you in. And despite how much it hurt, you couldn't keep him to yourself. You weren''t sure what this entire thing meant. Did you just indirectly say that it was over? Did you want it to be over? Were you willing to let it be over? To let him go?

“C’mon”, he stood at your door with expectant eyes.

You scoffed before looking back at the clock— your parents werent coming home until another half an hour, “alright fine”, you gave in.

After you put your shoes on, you reached for the door handle to shut the door behind you but there was Ollie standing right on the threshold, tail wagging. The dog gave a soft ruff, looking up at you with expectant eyes.

“Please don't bring him along too.”

You smirked, “Ollie you wanna come for a walk?”, the boy beside you groaned playfully.

The dog barked happily before spinning around in circles. His nails clicked against the floor as he sprinted to where his leash and jacket were kept. “Alright, bud”, you moved to put Ollie's jacket on him and hooked the leash onto his collar.

The dog walked infront of the two of you. The sun had set and the three of you were walking under the warm yellow pavement lit up by the streetlights. Ollie would stop every now and then to sniff at a bush, tree trunk or lamp post.

“When will he stop third wheeling us?” Steve finally spoke up beside you.

“Never.”

“This was supposed to be a romantic walk in the snow and now he’s pooping and pissing all over the winter wonderland– wont be a white christmas anymore”

“Oh, shut up. You love him, I know it”

“Yeah, whatever”, he shook his head with a smile.

“By the way, to what do I owe the pleasure of a romantic walk?”

“Wha– ? babe, You say as if I'm not romantic”

“No, you are. But I thought you were going to that christmas party with your parents.”

“Yeah that was until my dad started being an asshole after too much egg nog. So, I booked it”, he shrugged nonchalantly.

“Oh, I’m sorry Steve”

“Eh, it's okay– Jesus Christ, Ollie, how much territory are you gonna mark, boy?’

“Steve..”, your fingers reached for his palm. You both stopped, he looked down at where your hands were intertwined before giving it a squeeze.

“I'm okay. Okay?”

You look at him for a bit. Despite wanting to, you dont push further. You squeezed his hand back, “okay.” his shoulders relaxed.

You started walking again, pulling yourself further into the boy's side, resting your cheek on his shoulder. It dawned on you then that you had forgotten to wear any jacket or sweater and now you were freezing.

“I’m cold”, you whined through your smushed cheek, the boy chuckled.

“Of course you are. You don't wear one, but make sure the dog’s wearing a jacket– great priorities babe”

“Well, I have you, don't I?” you said, giving him your biggest puppy eyes and the most over-exaggerated frown.

“Yeah, “ he sighs, handing you the leash he was holding, “you do.” He took off his jacket he was wearing over his his fuzzy sweater and helped you put it on. “Better?” he gestured towards the leash to take it back.

You returned it and nodded with a proud grin, “you've fallen under my trap”

“Yeah? what trap?” he muses while smoothing down the crinkles in his thick sweater.

“This…..”, you smirked, “is mine now”, you declared, pulling the material tighter around you.

“Oh, no! The jacket stealing trap! What will I ever do?” he brought his to both his cheeks, shaking his head in pretence worry. You laughed.

“Y’know…”, he started– the corners of his mouth curling up, “I would give you all my jackets if you…… Kiss me?”

“Oh, yeah? That depends…”, you crossed your arms, “How many jackets do you have?”

“Oh, so many– like a million” he shrugged. Both your steps slowed down to a halt. “Billions….. gazillions”

“Wow, babe, that's a lot of kisses”, you moved in a little closer to him.

The leash in Steve's hand tugs accompanied by Ollie whining, the dog came closer to the two of you who were leaning into each other. The dog started pulling on Steve's jeans.

“Hey! Dickhead, I'm having a moment here”

“Hey! don't call him a dickhead”, you admonished.

“Well, he’s acting like a dickhead.”

You glared at him.

“What? We were about to have a lovely romantic kiss before he so gracefully interrupted”

“Why do you have a rivalry with my dog?”

“He’s my arch nemesis”, he said with narrowed eyes directed towards the puppy.

You playfully rolled your eyes before taking the leash from Steve's hand and walking ahead. You laughed as you said, “Oh, please, you're just jealous because I love him more”

“I’m not jeal– what did you just say?”

“Wh– what?” you stopped in your track before turning around, brows furrowed.

“Oh, you just said something”

“What did I–”

“You said you love him more than you love me. That implies you love me.” he explained, walking closer to you. “You said you love me”, he stated with a shy smile as he stood directly infront of you.

“.. did I?” heat crept up your cheeks.

“Yeap, it was loud and clear. Even Ollie heard it. Right bud?” the dog barked in response as if actually had a clue of what was going on in the conversation.

“Oh, so now youre both working together? You know what? yeah, well, so what? I said it. I love you. You got a problem with that?”

“No… I'm pretty okay with it actually”

“Just okay?”

“More than okay. Perfect. Infact, I love you too.”

A shy smile grew on your features, same on his. The two of you leaned in but stopped mid-way when Ollie ruffed. You groaned, pulling away before saying with a stern voice, “Ollie, sit.”

“Little shit, only listens to you”, the boy infront of you mutters as the dog settled down and sat down. You glared at Steve. “Sorry”, he apologized, his head hanging low.

“Now, where were we?” you pull him in by grabbing a fistful of his fuzzy sweater, your lips slotting against one another. An arm wrapped around your waist, the other helped tilt your head. You too held his face back, the other hand snaking down to his waist where the fingers hooked through the belt loops.

You pulled away when his movements started to become a little faster and his hand started moving lower, “Okay, okay. I… its getting late– my parents are gonna be here soon”, you heaved.

“We were only getting to the good part” he whined through laboured breaths.

“Kissing me wasnt the good part?”

His eyes widened, “I– I mean”, he scoffed when he noticed the sly smirk on your face, “Stop messing with me.”

You tugged lightly on the leash to get Ollies attention who had started to dig a hole in the snow, “c'mon Ollie.” the dog’s tail wagged before he shook the snow off of him. The dog took the lead as the two of you ambled behind him.

Most of the walk back was holding hands silently, looking around at the christmas lights everyone in the neighbourhood had put up. When you were almost two houses away from yours, you spoke up, “you know. You could… stay the night?”

Steve looked at the pavement as the two of you walked, you looked at him with expectant eyes. He sighed before finally answering,“You know what? Sure.”

“But you would have to sneak out through the window later”

“Window? With these joints? I'm old.” he frowned.

“Oh, my poor, poor twenty year old boy”, you frowned back with a mock pitying look as you unlocked the main door and removed Ollie’s leash and jacket.

You and Steve wasted no time after that, running up the stairs to your room. As soon as the door was closed behind you, Steve was on you, plump and slightly cold lips moving fast against yours.

“Well, you're eager aren't you?”

“What? No…” he smiled against your skin, a giggle erupted from your throat as the sensation tickled you.

You were about to go back to attaching your lips to his when you heard a woof followed by the wood of the door scratching. The both of you sighed, foreheads touching.

“That little shit”, Steve huffed, “what an attention whore.”

You laughed through uneven breathing before moving off the door and then letting the dog in.

You heard the door downstairs opening and closing followed by your mother’s voice telling you she was home. You quickly went downstairs telling Steve and Ollie to stay quiet.

The boy took a seat at the edge of the mattress, the dog came to stand infront of him for a bit– tail wagging. The dog hopped on his back legs, front paws scratching at Steve's jeans. Steve reached down to scratch him behind the ears, “y’know Oliver. You're real cute and all. But you're one big cock block”

You really shouldn't have been alone.

It all happened so fast. One moment you were wallowing in your own self pity, the next moment, the lights were flickering and soon the ground started rumbling beneath you.

Now, as you were hiding underneath the counter of the store you worked at, the walls shook and ground rumbled. All you could think of was your family, dog and Steve Harrington.

Of course, the world decides to end today of all days.

There was so much smoke. All you could see was black, maybe your eyes were closed, maybe there was a blackout. But something was on fire– there was so much smoke. Your eyes were watering and your throat burned, coughs uncontrollably tearing from your throat. You felt light headed, soot stuck to your sweaty skin.

You really wanted to go home right about now.

Some rest sounded nice. Maybe some sleep.

You felt yourself succumbing to sleep, eyes drooping on their own accord. Breath slowing down. The corners of your vision went black.

It quieted down for a second. It wasn't too much for a second.

Sleep sounded like the perfect thing.

“Help!” a small terrified voice broke through the silence.

“Help!” it came again from somewhere outside the store. You somehow managed to will your muscles to move. You peeked from under the table and through your watery eyes you saw a boy who looked to be younger than you, flailing his arms in the air, limping.

Your body worked on its own accord. Muscles and bones working on autopilot. You crawled from under the counter, grabbed your water bottle and Steve's jacket. Your movements were jerky as you spilled the water onto the fabric, wetting it before putting it over your nose and mouth– a makeshift mask.

You ran. You left your safety bubble and ran. You ran despite the ash in your lungs, despite the shake of your fingers, lightheadedness, and the lactic acid settling in your tired muscles. In your disorientation and franticness, the stupid rusty chair hit your back, the heavy metal smacked hard against your skin but you still ran. You stumbled to open the door, shouted for him to run and pulled him in. You put your bootleg mask to the boy’s mouth.

The rumbling of the earth had quieted down a little; enough to allow you to help him walk over to the desk– your safe bubble.

You were just about to reach it when another wave hit, the ground shook and both of you lost your footing. The boy huddled to you, you moved to cover him to the best of your ability. The aisle next to you groaned and when you managed to look, it was swaying.

You tried to get away.

“Move!” you shouted, your voice barely audible over the rumble. The boy shook under you. In a last ditch effort, you pushed him away.

You tried to get away, trying to crawl away yourself, but the heavy metal shelves hit your spine. Your head smacked against the tiles.

You heard shouting, you weren't sure if it was the boy or you. Your ears were ringing. your limbs felt like jelly buried under the rubble. And you really didn't feel like you could get up. You couldn't really see anymore, the darkness from the corner of your vision had finally spread.

It hurt. It hurt so much that you weren't sure where it hurt or if it was still hurting. You tasted metal, felt a trickle run down the nape of your neck. You felt a little cold. The boys voice came in and out, none of the words truly registering in your brain.

God, you really missed your bed.

You missed ollie. You wished you could pet him again, give him his favourite treat, help him sneak into a bed again.

You missed your parents and your brother. What wouldn’t you do to have one more dinner together.

You missed steve. How you wished you could go back to that winter evening when you fell asleep in his warm arms. When you’d held his hand. You really wanted to hold his hand, hold him close, kiss him.

You felt fingers wrap around your wrist. “I'm gonna try to pull you out”, you barely heard the young boy say through a lumpy throat, you felt a tug on your arm. Pain shot through you. He pulled again, You didn't move. A scream of pain ripped from your chest.

“No!” you screamed, words coming out all slurred up. “No, stop! Just hide under the table and call the ambulance when it's over!” you still couldn't see.

“But–”

“It's okay! You’ll be okay, Ju-- just go!”

“I'm not– your– you're bleeding”, he gripped your shaking palm, “J– Just stay awake!”

“No, Go!” you tried your best to shout but it came out as only a whimper.

The warmth left your palm, you sighed in relief. You really didn't want a kid to see you dying.

A few seconds later, you felt a pressure on the side of your head, a hit of a familiar scent hit you– Steve's cologne. Steve?

“Steve..?”

The box in your hand was as heavy as lead as the lady led you through the Hawkins high gym which had now been turned into a makeshift infirmary for the people who had been affected by the earthquake.

You didn't remember much from the night of the earthquake, you remember falling and hitting your head, the pain and someone holding your hand. Your delirious brain in its haze had convinced you that it was Steve's warm hand. That he had come back and held you while the ground shook. The carbon monoxide poisoning had truly got to you.

Much to your delusional brain’s dismay, It was when you woke up a day later; your parents told you it had been infact a boy a few years younger than you. You later found out that the young boy– Andy, although overall fine, had broken his leg. He and his family packed everything up and moved out of town a week later.

Your muscles were still sore. The stitches and the bandaging over the big gash on your back was tight around your ribs. You had also acquired a wound on the side of your head and though you had bled, you were lucky enough to not bleed to your death or die of a haemorrhage. The paramedics had to shave off a part of the back of your hair to be able to apply the gauze properly. And you were a little embarrassed about it– you guessed you'd have to shave it all off now. You weren't sure how long you'd be willing to wear your brother old, musky baseball hat– you also weren't sure if it was a good idea to put that abomination anywhere near a wound.

"seems like you have clothes and blankets; that one", she pointed to a table with heaps of clothes piled on top of it. They looked to be freshly donated as they were in the middle of being neatly folded by--

"Steve, take these as well, will ya'?" the women beside you said.

He looked up, stilling for a second, “Hey.”

"oh, you seem to know each other. swell!" she clapped her palms before leaving the two of you alone.

“Hey… I uh– I came to donate these”, you put the cardboard box on the table infront of him, “Its uh– its mostly blankets”

“Oh, okay.”

“I– I have a couple more boxes in the car.”

“Okay.”

The walk to your car was a silent one, a little awkward. Surely, your last interaction playing in his head as well. As you weaved through the people, you noticed Dustin Henderson, limping as he gave water to some of the patients. And you had already noticed the scars on steves neck. You really wanted to ask what happened.

“Is everyone in your family okay?” he spoke up shyly, clearly trying to ease the tension even a bit.

“...yeah,”

My brother can't hear out of his left ear anymore.

“Yeah, everyone…”

My dog died.

“Everyones fine.”

“Are you fine?”

You nodded quickly.

You really didn't want to tell him about the giant bruise spread across your back and torso. You didn't want to tell him about the gash on your back or the bandages hiding under your baseball cap. You certainly did not want to tell him about how you were stuck in that rubble for hours with a kid holding your hand, while you had thought that it had been him in your half-conscious state.

“What about you?” you echoed, “Your– your neck?”

“Yeah, yeah– uh.. I’ll be fine.”

Your chest tightened, you swallowed. How did small talk become so hard?

The two of you approached your car, you popped open the trunk, and there were three more well-taped boxes waiting.

You picked one up. “Here, let me–” he picked up the other two. Both of your tried your best not to wince at the strain. “Wow this is a lot”, a half-minded comment as he slammed the trunk.

“Yeah, um– I mean, these people need it more. Plus, it would just be easier to give it away, anyway since we--”, you cut yourself off, trying to pretend you hadn't said anything.

“What?”

You look away silently, blinking, “um– how are you holding up?”

“Yeah, you have already asked me– I'm– I'm sorry… are you– what do you—” he stopped. You looked anywhere but him. It clicked.

“You…. you're… moving, aren't you?” he murmured slowly and as if saying it too loudly would make it real. You nodded.

“Why?”

“Why? Steve– look around. Everyone is moving. People are dying left and right. People going missing, never being found again?And now what, Murders?! My parents are convinced that it is the end of the world.”

“But it isn't– It was just an earthquake”

“An earthquake does not give you wounds around your neck Steve. Ever since the Byers kid disappeared, my dad has been planning to move… and then that night I– I almost ....”, you trailed off, not wanting to tell him more especially after you had just lied to him that you were fine. “I barely made it.”

“What?”

You took a shaky breath in, Steve's chest tightened. “I should–”

“When are you leaving?”

“.. today. Right now. This was the last thing I had to do.”

After that he quietly walked the rest of the way, helping you put the boxes where they needed to be put. As he did it all, his eyebrows were pulled together, the crease between them deep-- what was he thinking? you wondered.

Once everything was done, he finally spoke up, “Can I walk you back? To your car? For one last time, please?” the desperation in his tone was so clear and it made you want to cry.

You opened the door, Steve's jacket draped over the passenger seat. The piece of clothing that probably saved you. The thick material had stopped you from bleeding to your demise. You really had to thoroughly wash it to get rid of the stain. But you couldn't justify throwing it away.

It no longer had the bloody stain, or the smell of smoke in it. However it also didn't smell like Steve anymore.

“Here–”, you leaned into the car to pull it out, fighting back the tears and the waver in your voice, “your jacket… don't worry I cleaned it up”, you held it up between the two of you.

Steve, pushed the material back in your direction, “Keep it. It's yours, remember? It's yours.”

"Considering everything….” you gulped, “I hope I'm not asking for too much", you took a deep breath before finally whispering, "can I hug you… please?"

It was a tight one. It was a desperate one. You hated that you smelled like antibacterial ointment and sweat. You buried your face deeper into his shirt– he smelled like medical gauze, and medicinal cream accompanied with a faint yet familiar scent of his hair products, his cologne and that distinct scent of Steve.

You pulled away, words sticky in your throat, “Take care. Don't die. I'm…..”, you swallowed, “I'm gonna miss you."

You didn't wait for a response, you quickly sat in your car and drove away, not even stealing a look from the rear-view mirror. You only let the tears fall when you had turned the corner to your home.

It isn't like you had a choice of whether or not you were staying. But You hate that he didn't stop you. You hate that he didn’t call your name, to see your face one last time. You hate you still had his jacket in your hands, you hate how tightly you were gripping it.. You hate that there were tears in your eyes. You hate that there was a sob in your ribs. You hate that you said that you were going to miss him. You hate you imagined a life with him, holding hands on romantic walks.

You hate all that. But you don't hate him. God, it'd be so much easier if you hated him.

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x reader angst #stranger things #steve harrington x reader fluff #stranger things 4 #steve harrington x gn!reader #stranger things x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n #stranger things fanfic #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington angst

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barbieaiden · 7 months

Text

1. [A month ago]

2. Jordan: Hey, Sam. How are you holding up?

3. Jordan: ...I brought you coffee.

Sam: Thank you.

4. Jordan: Do you want to go home for the night? Sleep in your own bed? I could drive you home, pick you up on my way to work tomorrow.

Sam: I think I'll stay here.

Jordan: Alright.

5. Sam: I keep thinking... [Sigh] It's so stupid.

Jordan: Go on.

Sam: I keep thinking I should call Aiden. So he can help. But obviously I can't, because... I just... I don't know what to do. Nothing feels real. It's been two days and it feels like ten years.

6. Jordan: The waiting is the worst part. I waited for my mom's death for months. You can't cope when you don't know what you're coping with.

Sam: Months?

Jordan: She wasn't in a coma, just terminally ill. For all we know Aiden might wake up tomorrow.

Sam: Or die.

7. Jordan: As much as I wish I could I can't tell you that he's going to be fine. And I can't replace him, obviously, but I am here if you need anything.

8. Sam: Thank you.

10. Aiden: Jordan, you can't tell me you spent a whole day with a man you're not interested in. That is not friends with benefits, that's practically married.

11. Kell: I'd tell you and Zach to get a room but you already have, like, a million fucking times.

Jordan: What I'm getting from this conversation is that neither of you have ever had any friends.

Aiden: It's true. The only man I've ever spent time with is Sam.

12. Jordan: Even if I wanted to I don't have time for a relationship.

Kell: Dude, you are literally already spending, like, all your free time with him.

Aiden: If you and Zach get engaged we can have a double wedding!

Lucas: You should become a tattoo artist instead, Jordan. No 55 hour shifts and you still get to stab people with needles.

Jordan: I happen to like my job.

Lucas: You complain about it every single time I see you.

Jordan: I find your obsession with needles slightly disturbing.

Lucas: I guess I like the artistic part too.

Aiden: That's why I let Michael do all my piercings.

Lucas: I'm such...

15. Aiden: Sam?

16. Aiden: Are you okay?

Sam: Mhm.

Aiden: Are you sure?

Sam: Just... tired.

Aiden: We can go home if you want to.

Sam: It's fine.

Aiden: I wouldn't mind.

Sam: Really, Aiden, it's fine.

18. Kell: You two are literally worse than that one high school couple making out in the corridors.

19. Aiden: You can't say that, that's so homophobic.

Kell: Your dad didn't think I was very homophobic.

Aiden: [Exaggerated gasp] Kell!

Kell: Too far?

Aiden: No, Kell, by all means, if you want to go over to Nettlefield right now and have sex with my actually homophobic father, go right ahead.

Kell: Dude. I'm sorry, okay?

20. Kell: Find something to eat with me? Please?

Aiden: Sure.

Kell: Sam, don't look at me like that, we're not going to smoke weed.

Sam: That was not my issue with this conversation and you saying that unprompted makes me think you are going to smoke weed.

Aiden: I've never even seen weed. Drugs are bad, or whatever. And so illegal.

Kell: Exactly. We're law-abiding citizens.

21. Aiden: Seriously. No weed. Promise.

Sam: Okay.

22. Aiden: Are you sure you're okay?

Sam: Yes, Aiden.

Aiden: Just... tell me if you want to go home. Okay?

Sam: I will.

#i really hope you can tell what is and isn't flashback #if you can't let me know and i'll try to make it clearer next time #shoutout to jordan. the only character #ts4 story #hospital tw #drugs tw #lost #lost: aiden #lost: sam #lost: kell #lost: lucas #lost: michael #lost: jordan

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youthereader · 8 months

Text

Near Zero part 1.

pairing: cillian murphy as j. robert oppenheimer x fem!reader

summary: 2.8k words. Brought on as part of the Manhattan Project, your old physics professor sees you in a new light.

rating: eventually E (no smut in this part); age gap (10+ years), infidelity, period-typical sexism

a/n: Though based on real life characters, this is J. Robert Oppenheimer as played by Cillian Murphy, a fictional character. This is not intended to be historically accurate, merely written as entertainment. This is my first reader fic ever, so please be kind! Many thanks to @indulgence-be-thy-name for encouraging me and helping iron out wrinkled ideas.

part 2. 3.* 4. 5. 6.* 7.*

When you see him now, he’s so different to the last time, but he’s unmistakably the same man. Now, he wears a broad hat and carries a pipe as he approaches you in the empty room.

“I was wondering when you would show up,” he says, and his smile opens him up completely.

He extends a hand as you rise to meet him. Your things are being sorted thoroughly somewhere out back, but you still hold onto your coat and matching pocketbook. Los Alamos feels like another world, so remote that you hadn’t expected the town to be built here, with roads and people swarming. It is a living, breathing thing you’ve somehow managed to stumble into, it feels.

“Dr. Oppenheimer,” you reply, shaking his hand. “I didn’t know if you were meeting me.”

“Wouldn’t want to miss it,” he replies, though he sounds distracted. “What do you know?”

Hardly any pleasantries, which you expected. In the years of knowing him, Dr. Oppenheimer didn’t get to know you as your professor, and certainly not as anything else outside of the classroom. You had not subscribed to the Cult of Oppie, and not necessarily out of choice.

Though there were women studying theoretical and experimental physics, they were few and far between. Since leaving high school, you had understood that to be taken seriously, you could not act like a man. The few friends you had in high school often teased you about your lack of grace, your ability to be covered in chalk dust at any given time, and your unwavering standoffish nature.

You belong in a think tank, not on a podium proclaiming these theories. You could work in a team, which was why you supposed your name came up for this.

“My country needs me,” you reply.

He smiles again, somewhat smaller. His eyes survey you a beat longer and you swallow, picturing your hair windswept and unruly from the train journey. You might smell of sweat, you hadn’t showered since yesterday and came straight here when you let yourself known to security.

“And your country will be glad to have you. Have a seat.”

He gestures to a desk and chair, waiting for you to sit. The silence stretches and you feel his eyes on you. You’re wearing your best dress and your nails match your lipstick. Though you were given little context about being summoned here, it felt like a job interview from the telegram you received a few days ago.

The last time he saw you, you dressed like someone that didn’t care about making a good impression.

To stamp down any nerves, you pluck your cigarettes case from your pocketbook, fishing one out. A lit match appears as you put a cigarette between your lips, Dr. Oppenheimer’s hand cupping the flame as you lean in.

“Mm, thank you,” you murmur. You exhale, watching as he pulls back, extinguishing it with a short puff of air.

He stares down at the burnt-out match for a couple seconds before he looks back at you again, his brows furrowing.

“This opportunity means reaching beyond what we have before scientifically,” he says, and you take another pull from your cigarette.

You speak around your smoke. “This is to do with Nazi weapons, isn’t it.”

“They split the atom,” he replies, and you nod. “And since you’re here, it means you’ve been cleared to be part of our great endeavour.”

The ‘our’ would be ‘his’ to a lot of people. You know better, having seen the hundreds of people outside.

“I need like-minded people,” he says.

You rub the tip of your thumb and forefinger together absently, frowning. You were the first to admit that you had very little in your life besides your work, and that hadn’t been plentiful since war broke out. Belatedly, it occurs to you that he’s referring to your intelligence.

“What could I contribute? I wasn’t one of your best.”

“You were,” he amends, lowering his voice a little. “You just didn’t participate outside of a school building. You were invited.”

Your eyes swing to meet his and you recall that Oppie reputation, that he was a womanizer underneath the genius. It never meant to be aimed towards you, that charm. Or so you assumed.

“I’m not the type to enjoy crowds,” you reply. “It’s a character flaw of mine.”

You were speaking just like your parents, the ones that had not encouraged you to pursue academia. Being a homemaker, someone with a reliable husband was what they wanted for you.

“Would you have come, if I asked you to, personally?” he asks.

His question throws you, and you stammer out: “N-now, or back then?”

“I asked for you both times,” he says.

For the first time, you blush. Hoping he ignores this, you smoke some more to clear your head. You had almost forgotten about his ability to make you flustered.

“If you asked me to come to a class party personally, I would have said yes,” you admit.

You dare to glance his way again, stomach flipping. So much for being a more polished version of yourself, you’re back to being mousey and strange under those intense eyes.

“That’s a pity,” he murmurs. “But I’m glad you’re here now.”

In the days and weeks to follow, it’s quickly made clear that there’s no leaving Los Alamos. Your residence is between a series of identical houses. The house itself is barely larger than your living quarters you remember from college. A cramped bedroom, a washroom, and a kitchenette. Nowhere to entertain to speak of, but it was still a privilege to have your own space. Your neighbors to your left are a young family of three, and to your right, there are two secretaries related to fellow scientists.

You keep to yourself. You opt for a long letter to your parents explaining very little about the new role here. You’re certain your letters are read by someone along the way for obvious reasons, and explaining it all tires you anyway.

Being a part of something as insular as this takes some adjusting to say the least. There is no escaping without being noticed, as there are guards all over. You overhear town gossip without meaning to; the tiny bubble you circle over and over is both thrilling and stifling. Everything feels pressurized in those first couple days in your new home especially. You sit on your new bed with your hands in your lap, cigarette perpetually lit in times like these.

You leave early the morning you’re expected in the department, unable to delay the inevitable any longer. You’re not the only one with this drive, walking into the main laboratory (a wide room with desks in rows with a blackboard at the back) to find several men already seated, chatting with one another.

You pause, waiting as their attention diverts to you. You recognize a few of them from professional acquaintance, whereas others you’ve only known by reputation. The air shifts, and you feel very out of place.

“Good morning,” you say, voice soft, controlled.

You wish to be invisible, which was why your clothes were far demurer than what you arrived in earlier that week. Admittedly, you did agonize over your hair for perhaps longer than necessary, but you’re glad you haven’t done childish braids or nothing at all. There’s a fine line to tread with these men; being attractive but not ostentatious is usually the aim. From what you’ve learned over the years, not caring about your appearance tends to backfire in terms of being taken seriously.

You don’t agree with any of this, of course. No-one should be judged on their appearance in terms of their intelligence or whether they’re worth listening to. Unfortunately, this is just the game you must play, especially in academia.

Your eyes catch various reactions, some eyes lighting up with recognition, others perplexed. Some might not have seen you in years and don’t remember you at all, which is fair. You never strove to be known; your work is what mattered.

A couple men come forward to shake your hand, pleased to see you. You ignore the way a few pairs of eyes dip to your exposed ankles. You’re scanned and assessed, and whether you’re found wanting is forgotten, for you feel the touch of someone’s hand on your arm and turn your head towards the source.

“Oppie. Back in one piece!” someone calls out.

You stare at the side of Dr. Oppenheimer’s face, your arm burning from where he touched you to slip past. Had he been that close behind you on your way there? You don’t think you could have missed him, though you were preoccupied with your thoughts.

“Yes. Well rested and ready to get back to work,” he replies, striding towards the front.

He doesn’t look your way, doesn’t acknowledge you in the slightest, which is fine. It’s not out of the ordinary, and so you sit down on the edge of the group, ankles together under your desk.

“Oppie the Rancher, I don’t see it.”

You can. His hat reminds you of a frontiersman. You can picture him staring out across the desert on his horse, reins in hand.

“A night under the stars can do wonders for your mind, Richard,” Oppenheimer retorts, pointing with his pipe. “You should try it sometime.”

The men banter and you sink into your observer role with ease. At least they’re not acting that differently with a woman present. As more people fill the room, you relax into your chair with your notebook and pen at the ready.

You stand as Dr. Bethe enters, shaking his hand. You will report to him, the head of the theoretical division. Once he takes a seat, the noise dissipates, and Oppenheimer launches into the meeting.

You will have to play catch-up for some time, but it’s not altogether intimidating. You know you can dedicate all your time to this, since you have no family staying here.

Days are spent with your head full of equations. You drink cups of drip coffee over and over, and ashtrays are filled and emptied. You are among a team of theorists assigned to a specific task by Bethe, whose own intellect is dedicated to your cause.

The goal is to solve the issue of nitrogen fusing into magnesium, or, to understand the probability of the nitrogen atoms fusing. There isn’t data on this, and so you must calculate for this occurring every time a fission bomb would detonate. Every time, there is a chance that the bomb would cause a chain reaction.

You write out the calculations like everyone else, and each conclusion is the same. There is a chance that the atmosphere itself may ignite.

Everyone else begs for rest, but your mind won’t give you relief. You chain smoke, standing in front of the blackboard with your chalk aloft, as the world darkens around you. You ignore your rumbling stomach, finishing the calculation again with a short sigh. Stepping back, you hear:

“What are you doing here?”

You turn your head to see Oppenheimer standing by the doorway, lips parting at the sight of your face, his hat in his hand. He walks over, glancing at the board behind you.

“It’s the same,” he says, eyes darting left to right.

“I’ve done this ten times,” you murmur. “Theory always leaves near zero chance of catastrophe.”

“Near zero,” he repeats, pulling in a breath. “Yes, I know.”

The weight of this is as much a reality to you as a theory, since this isn’t a classroom back in California, but a laboratory equipped with hundreds of scientific minds all working to build the same weapon. There are marbles representing very real plutonium in the fishbowl six feet away from you.

“I don’t wish to be an alarmist,” you add.

He looks at you again, eyes dipping to your mouth, and you feel a stir beneath your navel. To your surprise, he gives a small smile, but it’s not condescending. You’ve seen him give those out plenty before but have yet to receive one yourself.

“Your fears are valid, though not entirely necessary,” he murmurs. “I just got back from Michigan. I left in a panic about theory. But theory can only take you so far.”

You recall not seeing him for a couple days, though you are prone to missing others when you’re stuck in your own head. Oppenheimer is the exception, always.

He moves to lean against the desk beside you and you follow him, perching yourself at the edge as he looks down at his hat.

“I needed to speak to Compton about the potential chain reaction, of course there’s no possibility of speaking about it on the telephone-”

“So, you took a train all the way to see him?” you ask, and he nods. “But now you seem calm.”

“Not calm,” he says, though his voice is level. “More understanding that there’s a 3-in-a-million chance of total apocalypse.”

Those chances, though conceptually low, are not non-existent. You watch as he glances up at you once more, the air leaving the room. His eyes implore you.

“Near zero.”

“Near zero,” he echoes, his voice a near whisper. He places his hat back on his head.

You push off the desk and pick up the eraser, beginning to wipe the board clean of your calculations. When you finish, you look over at him again, frowning.

“If you’re more understanding, why are you here?”

It’s possible he didn’t go home because he needed to work this all out, like you. He keeps staring back at you, intimidating you as always, causing heat to rise at the back of your neck. In the low light, you hope it’s undetectable.

“The light was on. I saw you through the window.”

You swallow, ducking your head. “Oh.”

You place the eraser back on the ledge, and the space between you seems to shrink though neither of you move. You might be imagining the way he takes you in. He’s the director, and he has valid concerns for his staff.

But you’re no fool. His gaze is too familiar, especially when he nods at you, saying:

“Grab your things. I’ll work you out.”

You obey, following him out, switching off the light along the way. As you walk together down the halls, your footsteps echoing, you smell him beside you. He is tobacco, and body odour. Nothing sharp or unpleasant, but intimate, a semi-sweet musk. You smell the dust on his jacket and think of him sitting astride his horse with that thousand-yard stare.

You exit the building with nods to the guards, bringing you back to the present. You don’t want to leave him there in the street, but his residence is nowhere near yours as far as you know. You think of his wife, not for the first time, and wonder what he tells her about what they’re doing here.

“I’m this way,” you murmur.

Oppenheimer doesn’t respond how you expect, walking beside you for a few minutes instead of leaving you to find your way home alone. The silence between you in companionable, not strained, which feels like a miracle to you. From memory, he has never been someone you had a poor encounter with. It feels like a fluke, but statistically, it makes sense.

Your head still reels with equations, probabilities, and dire consequences. The chances of sleeping are so low, but you still wish him goodnight when you arrive at your residence.

There are people in the street, some glancing your way, seeing him and wave. He lifts a hand but doesn’t greet them further. He waits, watching you try to figure out how to leave him.

“Try to sleep.”

“I don’t know how likely that is,” you admit, turning back to him.

His hands are on his hips, and he smiles knowingly.

“I need you sharp tomorrow.”

You stand so close to one another now that his voice is low, the intimacy of the moment spreading over you.

“You’re no longer Sisyphus, you can rest.”

You think about pointing out the hypocrisy of this. You doubt he finds it easy to sleep at night, under the stars or otherwise.

“I think it’s more like the incy wincy spider,” you say, emboldened by his proximity to you. “Not quite as tragic.”

He chuckles and you smile back at him. He steps back, nodding a little. “Have a good night.”

He waits for you to go to your door, and you open it, glancing back at him for a moment. His smile returns, an understanding shade to his eyes.

“Remember the sun comes out again,” he calls.

He takes off, and you shut the front door behind you, leaning your forehead against it as you exhale.

Thank you for reading! 🖤 Likes, reblogs and replies are always appreciated and genuinely motivate me. 🥺

#oppenheimer x y/n #oppenheimer x reader #j robert oppenheimer #fem reader #cillian murphy fanfiction #cillian murphy x reader #near zero

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cinnamontoastcrunch-15 · 4 months

Text

How to Find a Werewolf (a week before the full moon)

The title will probably change lmfao

7 days

Sirius notices the signs from the moment Remus is awake. He's flinching every single time a fork hits a plate in the wrong way, for starters. Sirius ends up gently kicking both James and Peter, forcing them to catch on. It's clearly much too loud in the hall itself, Remus is barely contributing. Not for lack of trying, but he seems more than a little dissociated.

Then it's the walking.

As much as he's trying to hide it, the slight exhales that come with every step is enough to show Sirius that he's in pain. The hip's usually the first of his joints to start acting up, so Sirius wordlessly starts picking up and shoving Remus' textbooks into his own bag. Thankfully, Remus isn't ready to bicker about that.

No, it's much too early for that.

5 days

It's two in the morning when Sirius notices.

He's a light sleeper, so Remus' tossing and turning is more than enough to wake him up.

For a moment he just observes carefully. He knows full well that Remus is going to be exhausted, and the fact that he's still up means his skin must be crawling.

"Moons?" He says softly, and Remus stops in his tracks.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you."

"Nah, s'fine," Sirius waves him off easily. "We can go sit by the window, if you want?"

For a moment, he thinks Remus is going to say no and resign to a sleepless night, but instead he just sighs.

"...yeah. If that's okay."

Sirius is already sliding out of their bed, glancing at James and Peter to make sure they're still asleep. Then, he reaches out and offers Remus his hand. Remus takes it, letting himself be led to the big window. The windowsill was charmed years ago. Initially it was to fit the four of them, but four seventh years can't fit on it even when it's been extended. Two, though? It's absolutely perfect.

That's how the two of them end up sitting together on the sill, Sirius wedging the window open slightly and letting the cool air hit them both. He can see the way Remus relaxes as he starts to cool down, eyes sliding shut. He leans his head back against the wall, and Sirius smiles to himself as Remus finally starts to fall asleep.

3 days

It doesn't take long for the anger to hit.

Remus isn't what people expect when they think of a werewolf before the full moon. He doesn't have all consuming, blinding rage. There's no world where Remus Lupin will turn and start screaming at teachers.

Instead, it usually starts pretty suppressed.

At breakfast, he sees Remus' hand tighten around his goblet the moment Snape strolls past, making another snide comment about the moon. It's enough for Sirius to make a mental note not to push anything too far. Bickering can turn into real fighting and hurt feelings much too quickly around the full.

James, however, hasn't caught onto the timeline the way Sirius has.

They can all see Remus fighting his own tiredness in the common room, quill in hand as he absentmindedly tries to do his homework. Remus' handwriting is shit at the best of times, but before the full? It's barely legible.

Sirius' solution is to walk over and sit beside Remus, not saying a word and just making sure Remus knows he has support.

"Moony, you might need to take a break," James says softly, and Sirius almost sighs.

Poor bugger.

"I'm fine," Remus starts, and Sirius feels him tense up beside him. He tries to shoot James a glance that essentially means 'stop fucking talking', but he doesn't get the hint.

"Minnie's offered you an extention. It's probably best to wait until you feel better."

"Christ, I said I was fine! Get off my fucking back!" He snaps, James lapsing into silence.

Okay, it's hit him too.

Sirius tries to wrap an arm around Remus' shoulder, but he's shaken off like it's nothing, Remus standing. He winces as he does it, and Sirius forces himself to take a breath, not get too het up about that.

"You all just need to fuck off! You're all so bloody clingy!"

With that, he's gone. He turns and walks upstairs, and Sirius just shrugs at James.

"Give him a day, it'll be fine."

1 day

Remus doesn't get out of bed the day before.

Sometimes he does, but recently his good days before the moon are getting fewer and further between. The only reason Sirius actually bothers to go to his morning classes is to take notes for Remus, and he makes Pete promise to get Remus' notes for his last few.

That sorted, he heads up to the dorm, a hot chocolate he got from the kitchen in hand. Knocking once, he pushes the door open to find the curtains drawn in the room, the whole dorm flooded in darkness.

"Moony?"

For a moment, he thinks he's asleep, until-

"M'fine." His voice is rough, sounds almost like he's been crying.

Yeah, this is definitely one of the bad ones.

He steps into the room, letting the door shut behind him as he gets to Remus' bed. At first, he sits on the edge of it, Remus not moving.

"I've got hot chocolate?" He tries.

"...could you put it on the bedside table?" Sirius nods, setting it down.

"D'you need anything?" He asks gently. Not that he needs to ask, he knows what the answer is going to be.

"If you- maybe you could... stay?"

He doesn't waste a moment in climbing into the bed with his partner and wrapping his arms around Remus' waist from behind.

"Sorry I was such a twat before," Remus says quietly, and Sirius smiles to himself.

"Don't worry about it."

To be fair, his body is literally getting ready to break itself. In what world is he going to have boundless excitable energy?

Sirius just wants to take care of him.

"I love you," He says softly, shifting his weight to reach up and press a kiss to Remus' temple.

"I love you too."

#i've been writing a fuckton of hogwarts or war shit #canon compliant and all that #i'm not sure why #but i'm kind of living for it #i miss my muggle aus though #expect at least one of those soon #wolfstar #sirius black #wolfstar oneshot #marauders #remus lupin #remus x sirius #young marauders #moony x padfoot #atyd marauders #marauders oneshot

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hairmetal666 · 1 year

Text

Steddie Notes BONUS PART

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)

Eddie wakes up to an empty bed. He’s a little surprised, honestly, since he had his heart set on first anniversary morning sex. Though, based on the smells wafting through their apartment, Steve’s making breakfast, which is an acceptable alternative (plus, if he has it his way, they aren’t leaving the bed again today).

The digital alarm clock on his bedside table is obscured by a Composition Book he doesn’t remember bringing to bed. He reaches for it before his brain registers the red ink dragon sketched on the cover. His hands tremble as he flips it open, but the first few pages are written in his own scrawl. Steve’s handwriting doesn’t appear until 10 pages in and Eddie’s heart stutters at the sight.

March 28, 1986

God, Eddie, I’m so sorry. So, so fucking sorry. I can’t— I’m sorry. I should have been there, I should’ve protected you, I should’ve kept you safe.

You wouldn’t be part of this if it weren’t for me. Robin and Dustin keep telling me that's not true, that Chrissy was already cursed but. Robin is here because of me. Erica-fucking Sinclair is here because of me. And now you. And you’re dying. And it’s my fault.

I don’t even know what I’m doing right now, but I can’t just sit and wait, I’d lose my mind. Anyway. You left this notebook in my trunk, and I hope you don’t mind that I’m using it.

I don’t think I’ve ever been this terrified in my life, Eds.

Please don’t die on me. I can’t live in this world without you.

March 29, 1986

Hey Eds

You made it through the night. I can’t fucking believe it. I ripped Robin’s shirt when the doctor came in to tell us that you were out of surgery and stable, and then he dropped the bomb that your chance of surviving the night was 40%. Forty-fucking-percent. I guess you beat the odds, babylove.

I’m with Uncle Wayne at your bedside. He threw a fit to make sure I could be here whenever I wanted, and that everyone could visit.

You’ve missed some wild shit, Munson, you’re going to be so mad when you wake up.

Come back to me, sweet boy. I can’t take this.

March 30, 1986

Made it through a second night, babe.

I hope you wake up soon.

Miss you like crazy.

I keep looking at you in this hospital bed, and you look so fucking small. I hate it. You’re the loudest voice in the room. You don’t just take up space, you demand it. It’s killing me that I haven’t heard your voice in days. And my brain, it keeps filling in things you would say, and I wait for you to speak up, but of course you don’t. It’s a kick to the balls every single time.

The thing is.

The thing is that I need you to wake up, Eddie. You can’t leave me. I made up my mind a long time ago, we’re spending our lives together. And it can’t fucking end now. It can’t end because of this.

And I need you to open your goddamn beautiful eyes so I can tell you how much I love you. You don’t get to go before you hear me say it, do you understand?

I love you. You’re it for me. I’ve never wanted a forever as much as I want one with you. So, you have to wake up, yeah? You have to wake up so we can grow up, have a family, have a life together.

Promise you won’t leave me, Eds.

March 31, 1986

You woke up, you motherfucker. The doctors kicked me out to look you over and I cried so hard in the bathroom that Robin made El break down the door with her powers.

Thank you for coming back. I won’t ever let you go again.

April 7, 1987

I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m giving this to you, babylove. It’s been a year. Look how far we’ve come.

✏️✏️✏️✏️

September 18, 2015

It’s way too fucking early for Eddie to even be awake and he has the day off. Steve asked him to take vacation months ago, didn’t say why, and now that fucker has the audacity to not even be in the house. And like, sure, they’ve been together for close to thirty years, and Eddie knows that Steve goes for a run at the ass crack of dawn.

Still pisses him off, though.

Eddie huffs down to the kitchen to get coffee started, doing a double take when he sees a familiar black Composition Book with red dragon on the cover.

He walks towards it slowly because this has been framed on the wall since their first anniversary, way back in ’87, and Steve isn’t home.

Eddie opens it, re-reads the panicked, lovesick notes Steve wrote in the hospital, doesn't bother to fight back the tears. He gets to the last letter and the paper is stiff and wrinkled, like it took water damage. Eddie flips the page, grief already pumping through his veins.

What he sees instead is college-ruled notebook paper, glued in place. It reads:

“I fucking hate this class.”

“Tell me about it.”

“trig. You?”

“Algebra 2 :(”

A sound escapes his mouth, something between a laugh and a sob.

“Hey man, I'm pretty sure I fucked things up with us, and I owe you an apology. I've always known who you were, but you had no idea I was me...”

“Anyone ever tell you you’re kind of beautiful, Munson?”

“Watch. The. Movie. This is the last time we get high first if this is how you behave.”

“What are you gonna win me at the fair, Harrington?”

“If you’re nice to me, probably something cute.”

“Eddie…I think I really like you

You’re my favorite person in the entire world

Some days you’re the only thing I can think about

I want to wake up in bed with you everyday

I can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to kiss you

Do you like me? Yes or No”

“What are you doing about Hellfire?”

“Huh?”

“If the game is Friday. Lucas can’t do both.”

“He made his choice.”

“You ever been in love?”

No, but I think I’m falling”

“I love you, Eddie”

All the sketches of the sailor boy and the rockstar are there, even the one Eddie stuck to the poster in his room, though how Steve managed to get that is anyone’s guess.

There are pictures too, Eddie and Max still recuperating in the hospital; Corroded Coffin performing at the Hideout; them holding the keys to the bar, Steve shirtless and hammering something while Eddie looks on, with the increasingly popular bands Eddie booked to play their must-see Friday night slots; Steve on his first day of college and one of him jumping into Eddie’s arms in his graduation gown, mortar board slipping off his head; In the hospital cradling their twin girls with Max giving a weary thumbs-up between them. Shot after shot of their family, their life, their dreams coming true. A scrapbook of their lives together, big moments and small; good and bad.

Eddie’s crying freely as he flips through the rest of the book, still fucking astounded that Steve is the love of his life, that they’re making a forever together.

Eddie flips to the last page. Stops dead.

In Steve’s looped handwriting, unchanged since high school, it says:

“Eddie,

Will you marry me?”

“What the fuck?” He yelps, standing up fast enough that his chair crashes to the floor.

He turns and Steve— his reason for being, the man that brought him back from the dead—Steve Harrington, is down on one knee, something silver glinting in his outstretched hand.

“Eddie,” he says, his voice a wreck. “Marry me?”

Eddie crashes to his knees, shoving at Steve’s shoulder. “You’re such an idiot.”

Steve laughs. “Is that a yes?”

Eddie laughs too, but it quickly morphs into a sob, “Of course it’s a yes, Steve. Of course.”

Hands trembling, Steve slips the ring onto Eddie’s hand. It’s a thin silver band with skeletal hands contorted into an infinity symbol.

They fall into a kiss that rips the breath from Eddie’s lungs, but then that’s nothing new. When they finally pull apart Eddie asks, “why today?”

Steve blushes and grabs at the back of his neck. “Thirty-one years ago, I walked into Mundy’s class and found a note on the window ledge.”

“What the fuck.” Eddie’s mouth drops, his heart stuttering. This man.

“Once I figured out you leaving that note was going to be one of the most important moments of my life? I made sure to never forget.”

“Baby.” Eddie pulls Steve in for another kiss. “I can’t wait to marry you.”

Steve tugs at Eddie’s hand. “C’mon.”

“Where we going?”

“The girls will be here in a couple hours, and I have some things I want to do to you before they’re home.”

“The GIRLS?” Eddie shrieks. “How the hell long have you been planning this? Did they KNOW?”

“Since the end of June,” Steve answers without missing a beat. “And of course they know. Everyone knows. I asked Wayne for his blessing.”

Eddie can’t speak, his heart crashing in his chest as he, once again, thanks whatever entity made it possible for him to have this.

“I’ve been in love with you for over half my life, Eds. I wanted to do this right. You deserve it. We deserve it.”

He pulls Steve into his arms, kissing him hard enough that their teeth clack, but neither of them care.

✏️✏️✏️✏️

When they come home from dinner, as Steve reaches in his pocket for his keys to let the entire family in the house to celebrate their engagement, he finds a gum wrapper tucked in with the metal. He unfolds it, the words within unfurling in his heart, his soul.

"Thank you for giving me forever, sweetheart."

Edited: check out the full version on ao3!

This is officially the end! I hope you enjoyed this little (long) bonus part. Thanks for reading! 💜💜💜

@gaysonthefloor @little-gae-shit @ineffablecolors @mojowitchcraft @hiscrimsonangel @thegingerrapunzel @adelicioustragedy @mackdaddyofheimlichcountyy @im-sam-fucking-winchester @rainydays35 @gobbledy-gluk-gluk @gay-stranger-things @sherilitchi @gezell-igg @leather-and-freckles @bornonthesavage @ramyayaya @awkwardgravity1 @chaoticvictorianspirit @thosemessyvibes @beeing-stuupid @silentiumdelirium @freyaforestafay @thatbitchgayasf @sapphirecobalt-1 @sahh-dude @adorkfromnewyork @ollie-in-gray @extralegobrick @snapshotmaestro

@fandomgenderz @nuttychaosface @thatcottagewitch @idoquitelikebread @shinekocreator @savveth @mackfrfr0 @yourebuckingkiddingme @steddieassheg0es @gamerdano @thebig-smoke @questionablequeeries @zerokrox-blog @thegingervulcann @charlies-candid-corner@perpetual-trashcan @sleepy-rainedrop @marvelous-musicals @hoffmannwrites @fromapayphone @courtjestermunson@juicinmyjams @daydreaming-mood @aceflavouredyougurt @emly03 @pille1983 @darcyshandflex @anteaterballs @adankrivervalleynearyou @didntwant2come @kittsu-makes-glass @alienace

@somewhereatdawn @5pac3g1r7 @thequeervibes @paperbackribs @bitchysunflowerr @knitsforthetrail @wrenisflying @plasticcrotches @demoniccorvid @em9515 @savory-babby @loverliner @aceacebaby42

@trainchomp @anaibis

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amxrany · 11 months

Text

!! CHAPTER 7 / DIASOMNIA ARC SPOILERS !!

Here are some details we can get with the new update so far (Part 3):

If you think Malleus's tantrums are bad wait until you meet his mom, cuz she destroyed the whole castle in a tantrum when Lilia was absent 😭😭😭

Silver talks about his sleeping problem, which happened ever since he was little and Lilia took him to various magicians but there was no cure; Silver also said if his sleeping problem gets fixed then that's one less worry for his father 🥹

That's when Silver reveals to Grim and Yuu that Lilia was his father (took them that long to realize) and it was kept hidden because it will cause confusion amongst the students

So the timeline doesn't add up, since Lilia took care of Mallenoa for 300 years, but it took place 500 years ago, and Lilia is confirmed to be 700 years old (once again probably reminding us it's a dream and it's most likely Malleus's doing)

Going back to Malleus eggo, Mallenoa couldn't leave the castle because the egg needs love in order for it to hatch (something along those lines i forgot i'll fix it when i get more info)

So as we fight more human knights, they (the knights) tell Silver that he looks familiar.......interesting

A knight also mentions a "Princess Leah", the sister of this Henric dude who fell in love with the Knight of Dawn (someone said Aurora's mom is named Leah)

PART 1, PART 2, PART 4, PART 5

#rany talks about twst #twisted wonderland #twst #twst jp #twst spoilers #diasomnia #guys i apologize if im all over the place this info is too much for me

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lhecxzsaisgay · 1 year

Text

Accidents - S.J

Warnings: Forced sex, Physical abuse, A very mean drunk Scarlett, A very angsty chap.

Soooo, this is the very first time I'll be writing something like this. Someone requested is to me weeks ago, and this is the only time I found enough courage to do this. Bare with me, enjoy reading!

For more angsty books of s.j and n.r, this is my watty account @lhecxzsa, thank uuuu! Let me know if you would like a part two, and aftermath for this! Mwuahh.

You never had a very good past relationships.

But, that was before Scarlett.

At the age of eighteen, you started having boyfriends who did nothing but to hurt you, mentally, and sometimes... physically. You had 3 boyfriends inside of 5 years, 18 to 23, and that was it, you are now 29.

You were done with love, you've always been saying that to yourself after the last relationship you had, which very far much more toxic that the two just broke you mentally, but the last one didn't just broke you mentally, he physically hurt you.

You were a broken chaotic mess for almost 3 years, not believing in love anymore and the other things along that word, but everything changed when you met Scarlett. Scarlett changed everything, so willingly, she badly wanted you to be hers, just as she will be yours that she didn't gave up on courting you even though it took her 3 years, almost 4.

You two met, instantly clicked on, became best friends till she caught feelings for you, which she soon confessed. She knew about your past relationships, hell, she knew about everything. She became your shoulder to lean on, and you became her new found hope to continue on living inside her dull world that is full of toxicity with having sex with random girls, or random artists and going off to the club as her rest.

To say the least, she understand why you were very scared on letting her in to you romantically, though, you would be lying if you said that you didn't caught any feelings for the woman. Ever since the two of you developed your relationship, you felt it, you saw it, you're not an idiot to not see her obvious movements and steps that is screaming the words; "I Love You."

You knew it from the start, and then she confessed, but you weren't ready for anything. But, Scarlett being the charming woman she is, and ofcourse, with all her wealth, she did everything just to get you.

She changed, for you.

She changed you, just like how you changed her.

She stopped sleeping around, she focused on her work, but the rest of her time was spent on you without fail. Though, being a doctor can be a really busy job at times, it didn't stopped Scarlett to woo you and was determined to wait hours and hours until you're free. Most of the timesz she would always find herself outside of your footsteps, outside the house that your parents brought for you for your 25th birthday, wanting you to stop renting. She would always have something in her hands that she brought for you, most of the times, it was foods and anything that she thinks you might like, or anything the she likes for you to wear.

God, everything she'd done for you.

You guys are now 7 months in a relationship, everything was going well, no fights or anything bad has happened between the two of you, fortunately. Until, now.

You went to a party, a friend of hers, she wanted you to tag along, she always wanted you to tag along, being this cocky woman she is, wanting to show everyone that she got the most beautiful girl, it was no lie though, you are a very beautiful girl, a worth giving everything up for.

Along the years, you glowed up, becoming into this woman that looks so well written by a goddess, everyone wants you but, mostly for pleasure, nonetheless, it was no lie that anyone could easily fell for you.

But, being described as that brought some cons to you.

Being sexualized here and there, recieving so many catcalls, some would get have the pass cards, but not when you're with Scarlett, who will definitely punch the shit out of them not even a second.

But, right now, someone's making you feel very, very uncomfortable, and Scarlett's not here, infact, she's nowhere to be seen, which you mentally cursed her for taking so long to wherever she went.

"Come on, don't be such a stranger, sweet face. Why don't we go and have some fun, I'm sure it's lonely to be alone..." A drunken, beefy man from your side, who is invading your personal space already, said drunkenly.

You wanted to get up, maybe punch his face if you would get a chance since he's been bothering you for what felt like an hour already, then run to Scarlett, and get enveloped in her beefy arms.

But, this man got you caged in his arms, almost caged in his arms. And you were scared, you're not really that good in socializing, and running from him would for sure will bring some audience to look at you, and Scarlett might come looking for you in just a few seconds already, so you just scooted as far as you can, only for the man to pull the stool you're sitting on closer to him, almost making tears welled up in your eyes, thankfully, you girlfriend is just in time.

"Hey!"

~~~~~~~~~~

You don't know where she was going with her hurtful words.

She was a bit tipsy. A little bit tipsy for your liking.

It wasn't your fault. You know it wasn't your fault. You tried your best to make him go away, she might now saw that, but she saw how you scooted away from him before a fight between her broke out. Leaving the man's face bleeding before she practically gripped your wrist while her other hand went to your waist possessively.

She was almost carrying you out, she guided you to your seat in the red sports car she owned out of many. She slammed the door in front of your face, too harshly for your liking, it made you flinch, it made the beats of your heart became fast than it already was.

God, you know, it wasn't your fault. But, right now, it feel like it is. With all the words being thrown at you as soon as you both stepped inside the house, you following after her, wanting to know what's gotten her upset, wanting to know why she didn't hold you like she does whenever she sees you like this, in fear.

You were very scared.

Now, you felt more scared with her actions and confused with the way she's treating you right now.

Maybe, she wasn't just a little bit tipsy after all.

"I told you that I would get back immediately. I went to get us some drinks, but then you decided to whore yourself around behind my back. What were you thinking, Y/n?" She shouted, throwing the set of keys on the coffee table as you followed her to the living room.

You watched as she paced around the room, while you just stand there with your arms around yourself, as if it will protect you on what is coming. As if it would give you the comfort that you lack off, the comfort that Scarlett could only give.

She rubbed her face up and down with both of her hands, before the both of it raked her pixie hair. "Fuck, Y/n!" She stomped her foot on the ground, before turning around to look at you appropriately.

Her suit is messy and her sweats are a around the place. You don't know where she was being mad and upset about. Her words hurt. It was the first time she called you that, this was the first time she acted like this around you.

You didn't like the way she is acting.

The way she cursed your name in a harshly manner.

The way she was so mad at you for no complete reason.

"Wh-why are- w-what are you saying-" You couldn't even get to finish your sentence when she was again, shouting at you.

"Oh please..." She laughed as if it was funny, but now, tears were already streaming down your face as your heart started to hurt badly. She was drunk, maybe she can't see you clearly, she can't see the tears and how you started shaking so badly. "Don't act so innocent now. God, fuck!" She shouted once again, pacing around the room.

"How- god, Y/n. You don't- you don't know how that hurt me-" You couldn't help but to cut her off. What did hurt her? Did something hurt her the way you were hurting right now?

"What did? Did- did I do something-" Once again, it feels like you weren't allowed to talk when she cut you off, storming towards you that you couldn't help but walk backwards in fear.

"Who fucking told you to interrupt me?!" She was screaming straight to your face, before you felt her strong hands gripping your small biceps.

"Ah, Scar-" You whimpered, and she seemed to snapped out a little as she took her hands back before turning around, her hands on her head as if she's going crazy.

You think so too.

She's going crazy.

She's hurting you.

You were sobbing when you heard her sniffles.

She once again turned around to face you, there was something dark and dull in her eyes. You knew, in that moment, she's not the Scarlett you know. And, you could only pray to the gods above to bring that Scarlett back to save you from this woman in front of you.

She walked towards you until she was towering over you already. You couldn't help but to bow your head and tighten your arms around yourself.

"Do you know him?" She asked in a very darkened voice, you can't tell if it was just the alcohol speaking or it was really her. Your Scarlett.

"N-no, I don't..." This time you looked up at her, while you felt ome of her arm coming up to one of your biceps gripping it just as tight as earlier, that you tried to get away because of how much it hurts.

"The truth, Y/n. Tell me thr truth." Now, one of her hands was gripping both of your jaws, you couldn't help but to hold her wrist with both hands, but she was strong.

Much more stronger than you.

You couldn't get away because she was holding you bicep tightly.

Can't she hear your sobs? She once said it hurt her to see you crying, in pain, but now, she seems like a very different person.

Maybe, this was just a dream. A bad dream that you need to awake.

"It's the truth, Scarlett. P-please, believe me..." You tried to take deep breaths because you felt you chest tightening along with your anxiety starting to kick in. "Please..." You begged to the unknown shakily.

She only chuckled a little before harshly taking her hand off of your face, making your face turn to the other side, before she once again, dragged you up into the stairs, then to your room.

Your feet was barely touching the floor as you tried to keep up with her big and heavy steps.

"S-Scarlett, it hurts..." You tried so hard to take your arm back, but to no avail, you didn't. Your heart is beating so loudly, it feels like it wants to get out of your chest as your mind started to spiraling into the darkess unknown where you found yourself being into years ago.

You don't want to get back there.

Oh god, you don't want to go back.

Moments ago, you found yourself trying to be set free from her painful grasp, but now, you found yourself being so defeated that you just conceded to the defeat and just let her have you in ways that you didn't know she'll have you.

You found yourself being forced down on the soft king bed, both of your wrists were gripped tightly by one of her hand on top of your head, her other hand forcing one of your legs so it would part as wide as it could to other.

God, she was so strong while towering you over.

She was ripping you apart with her manhood, she already taken you while being bent over to the bed, your feet was barely touching the floor, it was now the second time that she forced a climax in you.

You felt your body getting in and out of consciousness as you continued receiving hittings everywhere her hands chose to land on.

You just know that tomorrow, you will be black and blue. Bruises will be littered on your skin. God, how did you go to this?

You pleas and begs seemed to be unheard by her. Your loud and broken cries was muffled by her bruising kiss whenever she would put her lips on yours.

"Scarlett! P-please... Stop! R-red! Red! I-I can't- I can't anymore. It hurts!" You started, only to be smacked in the face.

"Isn't this what you want? Huh? I'm giving you what you want, Y/n! Or, you like it more when it's that man who's doing this. Do you like that? I bet you do." There comes her sinister laugh, before you knew it, she was already throwing you to the floor before continued to rutting in you.

Your vision started to become blurryuntil your voice started to become slurry. You felt wet liquid started to stream its way down on your face starting on your forehead down to the floor.

You were laying on your stomach, she was moving so harshly and so fast behind you. The pain was too much that you starting to feel numb.

You felt your chest becoming more tight, and before you knew it, darkness have already swallowing you over.

#scarlett johansson x reader #scarlett johansson imagine #scarlett johansson #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #black widow x reader

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fellow-travelers-fic-recs · 3 months

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How do I love thee, let me count the weeks... Final Round-Up

Fellow Travelers Valentine's Celebration: Masterpost

✨ Show the authors some love with kudos and a quick comment on the fics after reading, and be sure to reblog this post, so others can enjoy these fics too!

💠 Authors: if your tumblr (or other socials) isn’t linked, and you'd like it to be, let me know and I'll be happy to add it. Or, if you are linked, and you'd rather not be, please contact me to remove it.

Works below can be found in this Ao3 Collection 💗

❤️ very pretty weeds by @beyondxmeasure | Cyantific [T, 2K] Hawk has really put Tim through the emotional wringer this weekend, and he seems far too nice to deserve any of it. Rafael tries his best to give his new friend a warm send-off and a few words of wisdom.

Or, the walk to the ferry from Rafael's POV.

🧡 Under Stars Chilled By The Winter by @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) [G,1K] Hawk has been away in Rome for a week. He comes home to Tim.

Part 7 of Bravery | Part 5 of FT Valentine's Month

💛 you're the home beneath the ruin by @startagainbuttercup | startagainbuttercup [T, 1K] Episode 2, Inside Hawk's head.

He thinks about Tim, about the joy he felt when he woke up next to him just ten minutes ago, and another memory comes to him, a memory of him smiling so adorably Hawk couldn't stop peppering him with kisses until Tim laughed, ticklish, and wrapped his arms around him tightly, preventing him from moving, not that Hawk wanted to move. He fell asleep in Skippy's arms, feeling safe and content.

Part 3 of FT Valentine's Month: how do I love thee, let me count the weeks…

💚 in the still of the night by @thewindyoubargainedfor | thewindyoubargainedfor [E, 2K] Tim stayed up, waiting for Hawk to call. Hawk made it worth his while.

💙 gold-skinned, eager baby by @lispenard-street | lispenardstreet [E, 10K] Tim sets out for Fire Island with a single goal: to dig Hawk out of his pit of self-destruction.

As it turns out, Hawk is after something else entirely.

A 1979 fix-it… of sorts.

💜 In your eyes, this is a place worth remembering. by @in-our-special-place | Cupping_Cakes [M, 630] Hawk stumbled into the room, his eyes blurry and his steps unsteady, but his gaze was fixed on Tim, as if he were the only thing that mattered. A wave of emotions washed over Tim, flickering between anger, hurt, and a longing desire to hold Hawk close one more time.

💗 Where figures from the past stand tall And mocking voices ring above. by @in-our-special-place | Cupping_Cakes [M, 472] They held each other's gaze, their love speaking volumes more than any words ever could.

🤎 To Wrap Your Love Around Me by @beyondxmeasure | Cyantific [T, 5K] Waking up in Tim’s apartment, Hawk discovers Skippy's old robe, the same one from years ago, and the memories all come flooding back.

Tim doesn’t have much time left, will Hawk be brave enough to stay?

🖤 Beguiled Again by @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) [G, 1K] Tim comes home late, finding Hawk asleep and wearing his shirt.

Part 6 of Bravery | Part 3 of FT Valentine's Month

💝 I'll be there beside you, to dry your weeping eyes. by @in-our-special-place | Cupping_Cakes [M, 869] Frankie, the man he had loved and grown with through time. The man who had been by his side through all of life's ups and downs. The man who had never given up on him, no matter how lost or broken he felt.

❤️ I'll Forever Love You by Anonymous [G, 602] Marcus slow dances with his love.

🧡 The Night Before The Road Trip by @vespersong | vespersong [T, 2K] So...we all know Hawk planned the trip to Rehoboth beach. Which means he probably packed a bag. But what about Tim? Was he stuck in that same shirt all weekend? Well, let's just say Hawk was prepared.

💛 please tell me now by @thewindyoubargainedfor | thewindyoubargainedfor [G, 1K] When Marcus arrives in San Francisco, he knows the first thing he needs to do.

💚 We'll find the perfect place to go where we can run and hide. by @in-our-special-place | Cupping_Cakes [M, 706] 'I never told you this, but that was the best day of my life. I never felt so free and happy, like I could do anything with you by my side.'

💙 you should be in my space (you should be in my life) by @startagainbuttercup | startagainbuttercup [E, 3K] What if Tim let Hawk touch him during their mutual masturbation session?

Part 2 of FT Valentine's Month: how do I love thee, let me count the weeks...

💜 All Tied Up With Nowhere To Go by @jesterlesbian | captainquint [E, 2K] “Are they too tight?” Hawk asked, tugging on Tim’s wrists.

Tim’s wrists were, at that moment, bound to the headboard of Hawkins Fuller’s bed by some carefully knotted neckties. Tim was struck by the thought of Hawk wearing one of these ties to work on a later day, becoming distracted in his office thinking of what they had done with them on this night. His mouth twitched up at the corner.

“Hey, are you listening to me?” Hawk placed a hand under his chin and tilted Tim’s face towards Hawk’s own. “This is important, I don’t want to hurt you.”

Tim rolled his wrists and wiggled his fingers to show they were fine. “I’m not made of glass, Hawk, you don’t have to treat me like I’ll break.”

Or, Hawk teases a tied-up Tim

Part 2 of FT Valentine's Day 2024

🖤 No Expectations by @justviwriting | justviwriting [M, 3K] When Hawk wants to leave Tim in 1957, his plans are disrupted when Tim wakes up before he could walk out the door.

Part 5 of My Fellow Travelers Fanfics

💘 the gold of the dusk and the dawn by @redmyeyes | redmyeyes [M, 3K] Valentine’s Day, 1954

Part 4 of Fellow Travelers

🤎 Me too by @alorchik | alorchik [T, 1K] Hawk feels he can afford it now, here, with Tim.

❤️ Where No One Else Can See by@bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) [G, 2K] Marcus once said Hawk was a damn good liar. And the first step in being the best damned liar that ever set foot in Washington was the necessity of being able to lie to yourself.

Hawk had been lying to himself for so long - about so many things - even he didn't think he would know his own truth if it was laid bare before him.

Until soft brown eyes and a kiss that tasted like milk and eternity.

Until Skippy.

Or, How Tim's touch made Hawk realise a certain fact.

Part 2 of FT Valentine's Month

🧡 The World is Not Kind to Good People♦️ by @lovebunnie | space_kid [T, 727] Tim felt Hawk’s eyes on him whenever they were in the same room, not unlike the unrelenting gaze of God; all powerful, all knowing, something Tim ached for.

💛 Stars fading but I linger on, dear by @cinnamoncountess | CinnamonCountess [E, 5K] Tulips, roses, lavenders, daisies and orchids —

Tim closes his eyes for fleeting seconds as he passes the bayside and takes in the wide-ranging scent wafting over from the flower sales on each side of the road, drawing into his nostrils where it mixes with the salty sea odor from afar. It is that day of the year again that always squeezes on his heart like a fallen wall of bricks, burying him underneath.

💚 Everywhere I look, you're all I see. by @in-our-special-place | Cupping_Cakes [M, 950] In that moment, all the pain, the hurt, and the years of separation melted away. It was just the two of them, lost in their own little world. And for Tim, it was all he ever wanted.

💙 Anywhere You Wander, Anywhere You Go by Anonymous [G, 1K] As he was now, the man he was now - Tim could not deny the longing in his heart. The need to close the distance between them again, to take his heart back into his arms.

Or, another cabin husbands dancing together fic.

💜 cheek to cheek by vexinganthony💠 [T, 2K] An extremely fluffy one shot about Tim singing at hawk’s behest.

Part 1 of valentine’s month prompts

💗 Unforgettable by @justviwriting | justviwriting [T, 1K] Hawk and Tim dance together for the first time.

Part 4 of My Fellow Travelers Fanfics

❤️ One Desire by @lovebunnie | space_kid [T, 1K] Tim instinctively stepped towards Hawk before stopping, "Hawk, I don’t-"

"You said music doesn’t sound the same," Hawk cut in. "I figured… it doesn’t have to sound the same. Let’s make it sound better."

Part 1 of Fellow Travelers Valentine’s Day 202

🧡 Hold Me In Your Arms by @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) [G, 1K] Tim entices Hawk to dance with him, and then sing for him.

Part 3 of Bravery | Part 1 of FT Valentine's Month

💛 You're the one I want to go through time with. by @in-our-special-place | Cupping_Cakes [E, 773] 'Don't you need me, Skippy?' Hawk said softly.

'I have you,' Tim replied, his voice barely above a whisper.

💚 with your kiss my life begins by @startagainbuttercup | startagainbuttercup [G, 785] 4 times Tim and Hawk dance.

Part 1 of FT Valentine's Month: how do I love thee, let me count the weeks…

💙 The Way We Danced Till Three by @jesterlesbian | captainquint [M, 2K] “There we go,” Hawk said, as he found the jazz station he often liked to tune into. Billie Holiday crooned through the static, singing They Can’t Take That Away From Me. Hawk tilted the bottle toward Tim in offering, who took it and tossed back a large swig before coughing and spluttering on the sharp taste of the alcohol.

“I don’t know how you do that,” Tim said, shuddering and sticking out his tongue.

Hawk laughed and took the bottle back, placing it on the desk near the radio. “Lots of practice.”

“Dance with me, Skippy?”

Or, Valentine's Day, 1954

Part 1 of FT Valentine's Day 2024

Thanks to all the creators for your wonderful efforts, and to the readers for taking the time to enjoy and share these fics!

Thank you to @fellow-travelers-events for hosting this event.

Ao3 Collection 💗

#ft valentine's day #valentines day prompts #fellow travelers events #ftficrecs #fellow travelers fic recs #fellow travelers fics #fellow travelers #ft valetines day: final round up & masterpost #ftfics feb24 #ftfics collections #ftfics holidays

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it-was-too-cold-always · 8 months

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Always Read the Fine Print Chapter 8

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Reader and Bucky get married.

Warnings: arranged marriage, forced proximity, eventual smut, lots of angst, violence, PTSD/nightmares, panic attacks, language

Inside the courthouse, Bucky led you towards two men standing off to the side. Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson - your two witnesses. Steve wore tan slacks and a blue button up. His eyes were kind and body language was very approachable. You knew you’d like him. Sam wore a dark green polo with dark jeans. Very casual. He was still smiling from some comment he just made to Steve. All three of them towered over you, even in your stupid heels. Bucky introduced you; they each shook your hand and smiled politely. You were sure they pitied you, and you didn’t know how you felt about that. It probably didn’t help that you looked like a sad puppy dog, glued to Bucky’s side, overwhelmed with the bustling courthouse and impending wedding.

You were early to your appointment, so the four of you waited in the hallway. Bucky and Steve stood in the far corner, clearly discussing something serious. Sam, feeling bad that you weren’t in on it, decided to stay back and make small talk with you.

“Ever been married before?” he teased. You laughed.

“Nope, first time. You?” you asked.

“Nope. And I don’t plan on it anytime soon,” he replied. You smiled. It felt nice to be lighthearted about the situation. It helped your nerves.

You glanced back over at Steve and Bucky. Whatever they were talking about, it was frustrating Bucky. He was pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes. When he opened them, he met your gaze. You offered him a small smile, embarrassed that he caught you staring. Not wanting you to feel left out on your own wedding day, Bucky told Steve they’d talk more later and walked over to you and Sam.

“Stop harassing her, Sam,” Bucky said as he sat down next to you, swinging his arm on the back of your chair.

“Harassing? We’re having a perfectly civil conversation.” Sam turned towards you. “How do you put up with this guy? Is he always a pain in the ass?”

“No. Sometimes he’s asleep,” you joked. Bucky scoffed and rolled his eyes, smiling.

Just then, you were called into the room. It was finally time. You were all nerves and froze in your seat, unable to get up. For some reason, this moment made all of it feel more real.

“Doll?” Bucky whispered to you, “it’s our turn. You ready?” You nodded, breaking out of your trance. You sure as hell weren’t ready, but you took Bucky’s hand regardless. He led you into the room and gave your hand a small squeeze. You were grateful for the warmth. The next several minutes were a blur – you were pretty sure you were dissociating.

“…take you as my lawfully wedded wife…”

You were pushing down an anxiety attack. Just breathe, take one thing at a time, you told yourself. Handle the wedding first, you can deal with everything else later. Don’t even think about the impending pregnancy right now.

“…to have and to hold…”

You fixed your eyes on Bucky’s. He could tell something was wrong but wasn’t sure what to do about it. You should’ve done this sooner – something about just looking at him was calming you down. A few more deep breaths, you told yourself.

“…for better or worse…”

You thought of his nightmares, how you have seen him look so broken and sad. How he almost killed you that first night. How he begged you to stay in your bed and leave him alone. You’ve seen him at his lowest, and if you don’t get your shit together right now, he’s about to see you at your lowest.

“…in sickness and in health…”

You didn’t notice Bucky grab your hands in his until you felt a light squeeze. You looked down – your hands looked so small in his. You admired his metal arm; how intricate it was, his fingers somehow delicate, despite knowing what they’re capable of. His flesh hand was kind of sexy, you thought to yourself. Yes good, better turned on than having a panic attack.

“…to love and to cherish…”

Your breathing was evening out and you were more aware of your surroundings. You squeezed Bucky’s hands back, as if to say you’re okay. You can do this.

“…until death do us part.”

It was time for the rings, and part of you panicked – did you even have rings? Bucky reached into his pocket and took your left hand, which was shaking terribly. He slowly slipped the band onto your ring finger. You took a moment to look at it – it was a simple gold ring with a stunning marquis-cut diamond. It was perfect.

He handed you the other ring and gave you his left hand – the metal one. You hesitated for a moment; you knew how Bucky had mixed feelings about his arms. You were honestly surprised he wasn’t wearing his gloves right now. You slipped the gold band on his finger and admired how it looked on him. It complimented the black and gold in his arm beautifully.

Next came the dreaded moment: “You may kiss the bride.” Bucky took a step forward and leaned in, gently placing his hand on your cheek. You couldn’t take your eyes off his lips if you tried. He paused a moment, as if to ask for permission. That’s when you decided to be brave. You’ve been daydreaming about this for so long. You tilted your head, closed your eyes, and closed the gap between you. Your lips met his in a delicate kiss. Despite how short it was, it sent shockwaves through your whole body.

The sound of Sam clapping loudly pulled you out of the haze. Bucky straightened up and cleared his throat. As awkward as it seemed, it was exhilarating. You could still feel his lips on yours. You took a deep breath and hummed – you did it, and no panic attack. You were officially Mrs. James Barnes.

You all decided to get dinner and drinks after the wedding. Guiding you to a table in the back, the waitress asked if you all were celebrating anything today. Sam wasted no time in answering her.

“Yes ma’am these two right here just got hitched, so let’s start off with a round of drinks!” Sam was more enthusiastic about the marriage than the rest of you combined. Bucky shot him a look. Sam shrugged, “What? Maybe they’ll get us some free apps or something.”

You sat next to Bucky, who was quick to rest his arm on the back of your chair. His fingers grazed your shoulder every now and then, and it sent shivers down your spine. He was trying to be nonchalant about it. All the handholding during the ceremony – and the kiss – only made him want to touch you more. But he didn’t want to be weird about it, especially around his buddies, so he settled with occasionally brushing his fingertips against your arm.

The night went surprisingly well. Steve sat across from you and told you all sorts of stories about Bucky from back in the day. Bucky seemed to be enjoying himself, which made you smile. It was nice to see him relaxed. You laughed at Sam and Bucky’s quips; they pretended to hate each other, which was kind of cute. And to Sam’s enjoyment, they did give you a complimentary dessert to celebrate the wedding. You tried to have a good time, pushing down any nerves you had about what comes next - your first night together as husband and wife.

Chapter 9

Taglist 💛

#bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky x reader #marvel #bucky angst

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heymeowmao · 4 months

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2024.01.06 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321324986957909590120

[t/n: wow, so laggy.]

1:10 LYN: Today we have an outdoors stream, a little like the last one. We’ll be taking everyone out to play, today. A special outing. LYN: Xiao Fang- Fang Yilun- has arranged a very cool itinerary for us. As for what it is, let’s go find out together. FYL: It’ll be Activities for Young Folk, mostly because we’ve been cooped up in Hengdian for too long. We have to be positive! LYN: We’re headed for the big city. FYL: Yes! We’re going to celebrate your birthday as an eighteen year old should! I’ll show you how an eighteen year old in Hangzhou should spend their birthday.

2:03 - LYN asking fans not to send presents, otherwise he can’t see the comments. LYN: You don’t need to wish me a Happy Birthday, either. Today isn’t my birthday- it’s on the 8th. - FYL laughing bc he’s thinking LYN’s fans don’t know when his b-day is, probably. LYN: It’s not my birthday today, but I probably won’t have any time on the 8th, so I thought I would have my “birthday stream” today. Of course, I would like to thank weibo and all of the friends who have come to my stream today to support me. LYN: I know the presents are free, but you don’t need to send them so aggressively. C: The sound is so small. LYN: WHAT?!? Seriously? Is the sound small? C: Can’t hear clearly. LYN: You can’t hear clearly? We’re wearing mics, and you can’t hear us clearly?? What are you talking about?! Let me test it. / You should be able to hear it…? C: We can hear FYL’s but not yours. FYL: Why don’t I switch with you? LYN: No, no. / You can hear clearly now? FYL: I was thinking, maybe I should switch with you? Because I have a loud voice. LYN: It has nothing to do with how loud your voice is- I have a loud one, too. - adjusting the mic position to see if that helps (it doesn’t).

4:20 LYN: Another thing- I just want to say. We just want to relax and wander around today, so if you figure out where we are, please don’t come to find us. Okay? Thank you. PLEASE don’t come to find us. If that happens, and we get surrounded we’re probably not going to able to stream and we’ll leave. Because these are public spaces, okay? Promise me. If you know where we are, please don’t come to find us. You’ll take cars by the droves and then come surround us like you’re watching monkeys in a zoo. That’s uncomfortable. Okay? I really hope you can let us have a smooth stream today. We have a lot of things planned, so we’ll probably stream into the night and through to midnight. FYL: Let us have our together time with just the two of us. LYN: Right, of course. But we’re also spending our time together with you in the stream.

5:15 LYN: Let’s go, then! FYL: We’re off. - masking up & LYN tells FYL he doesn’t have to have the camera on him while he does that. FYL: Okay, then I can only let you reluctantly see me. C: How handsome! FYL: Are you talking about him or me? FYL: !! Wait, what should we call each other when we’re out there? How about you call me Shisan? LYN: No, it’s ok. Anything’s fine. FYL: Just call you by your given name?? LYN: No, just like “Hey!”

6:30 - hallway FYL: I’m not that familiar with these parts anymore, but if it were 20 years ago- FYL: 20 years ago, I was really familiar with these parts. Because my dad used to be in the clothing business-foreign trade, so after my dad got off work he would pick me up from elementary school and we’d wander around here.

7:10 - elevator LYN: If the sound continues to be low, later we’ll just stop using the mics. We’ll just use the phone’s audio input. FYL: /looking at their reflection in the mirrors/ Wow, we’re so fashionable! We look like some sort of duo.

8:00 LYN: We’re heading directly there? To our first destination? FYL: Straight there. LYN: Is it a far walk? FYL: Not too far. 300+ meters. Do you think that’s far? LYN: No, it’s okay. FYL: If you think it’s far, we can also take a car there. XD - discussing methods of transportation

8:27 FYL: There are quite a lot of people by West Lake today. I was really afraid that it would be raining when you came, today. If it were raining, we’d be under an umbrella… then we can visit the Broken Bridge. [t/n: known for the love story between Xu Xian and the White Snake]

8:47 - still trying to troubleshoot the audio FYL: I still think I should switch with you. LYN: There’s no need. I’m closer to it than you are. FYL: No, it’s okay. - /switched mics/ FYL: Ask them how it is, now. Because I have a naturally loud voice, anyway. LYN: How is it now? Is it okay? / /to FYL/ You try. FYL: Hello, hello. 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3. LYN: Is it okay now? Ok. LYN: I’m sorry. As a singer, I can’t believe I’m not louder than an actor.

9:46 LYN: See. Earlier you said that there are a lot of people by West Lake, and now everyone knows we’re in Hangzhou. FYL: Oh no! LYN: It’s okay. It doesn’t make a difference.

10:48 LYN: It’s normal that it’s lagging. That’s the charm of a livestream. The charm is that it will lag. It’s random like that. LYN: Wow, there are really a lot of people. LYN: /seeing a comment/ You can’t hear Xiao Fang anymore? /deep sigh/ See. These things aren’t very reliable. FYL: Oh. Here- there are two... squirrels? LYN: Oh!! I see them. FYL: There, there! LYN: I see them! FYL: People will come to feed them.

- FYL listing all the things they could do, if they had more time. 12:44 LYN: Someone asked an embarrassing question: The two of you are walking along and no one has recognized you? LYN: No, it’s normal that they can’t. We’re not some big/very popular celebrities or anything. We’re just average. It’s not important. It’s better that they DON’T recognize us. - psa: please don’t come to find them - discussing where to go

C: I can tell that you’re handsome guys at a glance! LYN: No, no. He’s very handsome, but in real life I am very basic. FYL: Wow! If you say that, I’m gonna get cyber-bullied!! LYN: Pu Xin Nan. The “most trustworthy man in all the world.” (普天之下最适合信任的男人) FYL: The “most confident man in all the world.” (普天之下最有信心的男人) LYN: Yes! That’s also right.

14:20 - looking into how/where to buy tickets for the ferry 14:48 - lyn showing us all the people

14:57 FYL: You probably don’t have these in the North, right? LYN: What? FYL: They’re like… those insects that make noise? Guoguo (katydid)? LYN: Ququ (fighting cricket)? FYL: No, not ququ. LYN: Then, probably guoguo. FYL: Right- the ones that chirp. When I was little there were a lot of those around. And people selling flashlights and lanterns. I loved playing with those and had a row of them in my house.

LYN: The first time I came to Hangzhou it was the year I participated in Super Boy. FYL: In Hangzhou? LYN: Yeah. Me, from Dongbei, attended Super Boy in Hangzhou. But I didn’t even pass the auditions. FYL: No way. LYN. Yeah. Then I was pretty down and came around West Lake to wander. FYL: Is it because the pool in Dongbei was too poor and you couldn’t prove yourself? LYN: No, it was because they’re too good! There’s the Shenyang Music Academy, there; and various music schools. But then when I got here I found out that the music academies here are even more impressive.

15:52 - got distracted by more squirrels and decides to show the stream bc he feels like there’s no content going on. [t/n: they’re cute and fat. (or is it because they are well fed?) the tails look shorter than those of squirrels around me. :p]

17:27 - found the line for the ferry. it’s super long, with about a 30 minute wait for the next one. LYN: Let’s find some place with less people to hang out, then. LYN: For our first stop he was planning to take me on a boat ride on the lake. How romantic is that? FYL: I just didn’t expect there to be so many people. LYN: That’s probably normal. But anyway… we’ll not go boat riding this time. FYL: It used to be that there were a lot of boats docked at the side, and it would be like catching a cab to get on one. FYL: I guess we’ll have to find a bench or something. LYN: Let’s look for somewhere with less people. We’ll have a chat.18:50 - FYL recalling how there used to be aluminum boats around that you could rent and steer yourself. (the ferry is more expensive.) FYL: A friend and I came to ride a boat, and we were trying to get to the middle of the lake. Have you ever ridden in an aluminum boat? LYN: No. FYL: We used up all of our strength to row to the island in the middle, and then we couldn’t row back. It was July and the sun was huge. I could see as clear as day as my friend started “frothing at the mouth.” He looked like he was being cooked silly, and I asked him, “Are you okay? You don’t have heatstroke, do you?” He just smiled back at me, and his lips were so white. LYN: When you’re young you just have to go all out.

20:00 - still looking for a less populated area to sit and chat LYN: Don’t send us any special effects- I can’t see the comments that way. There’s nothing planned- I just wanted to take you around, since I’m usually always streaming from home. It just so happened that FYL had time, so he agreed to keep me company. LYN: If you know where we are, please don’t come to find us. Thank you. If you really come then it would become a bit more troublesome. We just want to wander around. There are other places we’d like to go, as well.

21:28 - found a place to sit! FYL: Alright, then let’s make some of Hangzhou’s specialty. LYN: What is it? West Lake Dragon Well tea? FYL: Lotus Root Powder. LYN: Lotus Root Poweder??!

21:59 - C: The two of you, please explain what you meant by “HE” (happy ending of YNGS). LYN: They finally caught us. The fans of the drama have been trying to catch us for half a month, and they’ve finally got us. They need an explanation.

LYN: What are you up to? FYL: I’m making the lotus root powder! LYN: Oh! / I’ll get it on camera for you. This looks like the way a fashionable young person would spend their days! FYL: Young people in Hangzhou spend their birthdays just like this! / How come it’s not coming out right? LYN: They come out and drink a bowl of porridge to start? FYL: It’s lotus root powder… LYN: I- OMG, is that drinkable?? FYL: It’ll definitely be good! No problem!! Trust me. Wait for me a second. 22:50 - FYL leaves to find some tools. LYN: /picks up the cup and jiggles it/ WHAT IS THIS??? How come it looks like the mucus that you’d spit out- Is this edible?? Eurgh. LYN: I don’t think we made it right. WE probably need some sort of tool. C: You need to mix it. LYN: He went to find a pair of chopsticks. C: Use your hand. LYN: Use my hand to mix it, then down it?? 23:45 - FYL came back, and LYN’s surprised that he found any tools. FYL: /picks the cup up to mix it/ Oh? How come it become one chunk? I’m going to dumo it and try again. FYL: Give me another chance!

C: How long will you stream for, Ning-ge? LYN: We don’t have a time limit or things that we need to do. We’ll stream for as long as we want to. FYL: I think I poured too much! It’s too thick, LYN: Right, maybe less? FYL: Does anyone know how much I’m supposed to use?? LYN: Why does this seem like the sauce we make in Dongbei? I’ve really never had lotus root powder before. FYL: It’s really good! C: Use boiling water. LYN: We are. FYL: It’s hot water. How can we use cold? FYL: Do you like it thinner or thicker? LYN: I’ve never had it before! Thinner, I guess? I don’t think I could get it down if it were thicker. LYN: There’s only one cap? FYL: No, there’s another one. C: Use cold water first. LYN: It’s okay. It’s fine like this, too. It works. / They said we need to use cold water to melt it first. FYL: Really? Then I’ll try it with the next one. LYN: Give me the small cup! I can’t take this much. FYL: Shit- Oh, sorry. I think this is so romantic! LYN: Really? FYL: Yeah, don’t you think this is really romantic? LYN: It is, it is. FYL: Isn’t this better than sitting down and spending lots of money in a restaurant? Isn’t it more romantic? LYN: I don’t think it’s to that extent. I’d rather eat something from a restaurant. I don’t want to eat this! It’s weird! FYL: Oh my goodness, I think it’s so romantic. LYN: (abt the lotus root) Maybe it’s too little? FYL: It’s too thin. LYN: It’s too thin. Add some more. FYL: /pours some more starch/ Is that too much, now? LYN: It looks okay. It has the feeling of making cornstarch slurry. It doesn’t look like yours is working. FYL: ? Exactly how much of this powder am I supposed to put?? I think I failed again! Was that cold water method they told you about correct? LYN: Looks like cold water isn’t it. FYL: I think we should have just used the hot water directly. LYN: Yeah. FYL: Let’s try again. LYN: Again? Oh, no. We wasted some more of it.

26:32 - fourth time’s the charm? LYN: This really looks like the cornstarch slurry. FYL: That should be the correct consistency. LYN: Sorry, friends. I even told you that I used to be a cook. We can’t even figure out how to make lotus root powder correctly! FYL: Look! Once we used hot water it came together! LYN: Right. That looks right. FYL: But it’s too hot, so maybe add some cold water? LYN: Cold water…? FYL: Yeah, it’s actually just warm. LYN: Won’t that… won’t that… FYL: Make chunks? LYN: It’s okay. It should be fine.

27:14 FYL: Wow, this is the first time in my life I’m making you a meal. LYN: Thank you. LYN: Are we one-shotting it? You go first. - FYL takes a sip & dies LYN: What’s wrong? Was it too hot? - FYL recovers, pours more of the cold water into his cup. (so yeah, it was hot.) FYL: You have a little. LYN: Yeah, I’ll have some. FYL: Wow. I burnt myself to death.

27:54 - cheers FYL: Drink it slowly. - LYN takes a sip & assesses the situation going on in his mouth LYN: It’s alright. A little bit better than what I was imagining.

- /keeps looking around/ LYN: Why do I feel like we’re doing something wrong?? I feel guilty. It’s as if we stole these bowls from somewhere. FYL: Like someone else made them and set them here, and we came and stole it? LYN: We should finish it and run. - /slurps and savors (?) it/ LYN: It’s alright. Like drinking porridge. FYL: This is a bowl of lotus root by West Lake. It’s not just any normal bowl of lotus root. LYN: Right, right. It’s West Lake Lotus Root. With the name attached it sounds much more expensive. FYL: We’re not drinking Lotus Root. We’re drinking in the feeling.

28:55 LYN: You all can hear us clearly now, right? It’s working? The sound isn’t small, right? If it’s not, then- (pans the camera to FYL) Explain to us what “HE” meant. FYL: How could you throw this question to me?? I guess we should answer it, though. But weren’t YOU the one who said it was an “HE”? LYN: No, I- Did I say it?? FYL: It was you! I explained it, though. Just as “河, 河, 河, 河”. LYN: Oh, it’s all in the river?

29:40 - FYL telling LYN that there’s a street some ways over, and there’s a very famous restaurant on that street. The building above that restaurant is currently showing huge YNGS posters. LYN: Thank you, YNGS.

30:10 C: DId you cry while watching the ending? FYL: I didn’t cry when watching myself. I cried for other people, though. FYL: I saw you crying for me, and cried. I’d never felt so sorry for myself. - /slurps the last of his lotus root/ LYN: I finished. It was okay. Nice and warm, a little like drinking porridge. FYL: The weather today is not that bad, either. LYN: Yeah. It’s been a long time since I came out just to sit, too. LYN: They’re saying that your sound is small. FYL: Is it small? - /making adjustments/ LYN: It’s our first time using this equipment, so we’re not good at it yet. 31:19 - FYL gets up to start cleaning up their stuff. LYN: Look. We came out today and Xiao Fang even brought a small suitcase. A very cute and pink color.

31:49 LYN: What day is it? Saturday? FYL: I don’t know. Actors don’t remember what day of the week it is. We only know the date.

32:35 FYL: I feel a little sad. We didn’t get to accomplish the most romantic part of my plans for today. LYN: What were you planning? FYL: A boat ride on the lake. I brought a bluetooth speaker, and we would listen to 奉上. LYN: Seriously?? FYL: We’d listen to 奉上 on top of the West Lake. LYN: Oh.. that does sound quite romantic. It’s okay- let’s find a different spot. An empty alley somewhere no one else is. We’ll put the speaker on and sit on the ground. We can still listen to 奉上 and it will be a unique romantic experience nonetheless.

LYN: Let’s go, then. Let’s find an alley! FYL: Like thieves, in an alley? FYL: Today is the first time I’ve learned that even benign romantic can be forced. XD - finding thier way back FYL: Why don’t we just listen to it in the car? LYN: That works!

34:00 - FYL asking LYN if he knows about this certain type of grass that grows on the West Lake. LYN asks if it was the grass that was floating on top of the water? They go to look at it and LYN says- “I think that’s just plain grass.” LYN: Do you want to fish some up and try it?

34:50 LYN: We’re a pair of Exploring Streamers. FYL: I think we’d be the first to find any adventure at West Lake. LYN: I don’t think there’s anything to explore. FYL: Do you think we’d be arrested if we were to actually fish the grass from the lake? LYN: I don’t think so. They wouldn’t arrest us for pulling up a couple pieces of grass. It’s not even worth the gas money.

35:50 LYN: ! I think we should take pictures there! FYL: There are so many boats here now! Oh, but people still have to line up. LYN: Yeah, there are a ton of people over there. LYN: Let’s take pictures in turn. Stand over there and I’ll take a picture for you. They’ll (the viewers) will take a screenshot. LYN: Stand more by the edge! We came to see the West Lake, after all. LYN: !! You still want to hold that (the pink suitcase)?! - LYN’s turn for a pic. LYN: I want the suitcase, too! Oh, but I don’t want it to look like I have a collaboration with the brand. Then, forget it. - /changes his mind and grabs the suitcase anyway./ LYN: It’s okay. We don’t want it to be obvious that it’s us. It just serves as proof that we came.

37:50 - Making their way back and finds someone shooting for a program and instatntly turns into a tour guide, introducing Xihu. LYN: You can take a boat ride and make lotus root powder. FYL: You can find an alley to listen to 奉上. LYN: I welcome everyone to come to Xihu on travel.

38:51 FYL: Did you go around Xihu the last time you came to Hangzhou? LYN: The last time? FYL: When you came here before. LYN: I did, once. That was many years ago. Maybe… 6-7 years ago? FYL: Did you ride the boat? LYN: I didn’t. I just wandered around and then went to visit Lingyin Temple. FYL: The first time I went to Lingyin Temple, I went alone and then I was scammed. I THOUGHT the temple I had gone to was Lingyin, but apparently there are a lot of different “Lingyin” temples. My friend had ended up fooling me. They told me it was THE Lingyin Temple, and I was fool enough to believe it.

40:04 FYL: Do you see it? LYN: What? FYL: /points/ LYN: Oh my goodness! FYL: I told you, it was huge!! LYN: Can you see something lighting up this street? LYN: WOW! Seriously?!? FYL: /laughing/ I told you!! LYN: Can you see this??? The highlight of this video frame?41:13 LYN: This wasn’t planned at all. We just happened to bump into it. LYN: Nice. It looks like YNGS (production) spent a fair amount of money. LYN: We should take a picture, here. Please screengrab it for us. Thanks!

43:04 LYN: Wow, this angle is so cool. Oh- it ended. I was planning to show the glass but then it turned into the metal. - /Commenting on how it’s difficult to park by West Lake, because all the parking is usually always taken up. But also that’s good, because it means that people are taking the time to enjoy it./

44:03 LYN: Hangzhou is really quite nice, though. Since we’re in Hengdian filming for long periods of time, sometimes I want to come to Hangzhou to eat delicious foods. Shop around, then return to Hengdian. Since it’s close by. - /commenting how Hangzhou is known as a food city, but how nowadays you can find any type/region of food from anywhere./

45:06 LYN: Right now we’re on our way towards the car, and then we’ll move on to the next destination. LYN: There’s nothing planned, though this sort of counts as my b-day stream. Most people spend it in a room, but I think that’s not much different from how I usually stream. That’s why I thought I would try something different today. LYN: I won’t be streaming on the 8th- I have filming. This counts as my birthday stream, alright? Also- it’s not like I celebrate my birthday, anyway. I’m already this old, what’s there to celebrate? But since you miss me, I still thought I should stream. - /got scared by a person/

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- /heading for the car (in the underground parking)/ - in the elevator, they comment on the weather (it’s warmer than usual), and FYL says he feels like he hasn’t seen properly ever since they went out- because the breathe from inside the mask is foggin up his sunglasses XD.

47:22 FYL: Do you have a signal? LYN: Yes! 5G! LYN: Someone complimented us, calling us two Handsome Brothers. FYL: We’re alright~ LYN: Just average~ Puxin Men. X’D The “most confident men in all the world.” (普天之下最有信心的男人)

48:05 C: A handsome pair of men, even though I can’t see clearly… LYN: You can’t see clearly but you’re still complimenting?

- FYL starts the car and LYN comments that it’s so loud it sounds like a tractor, lmao.

48:53 - FYL’s Lost His Phone?!? (he goes to check in the suitcase) LYN: We lost his phone. Oh, no. This is the charm of a livestream. You never know what’s going to happen. C: You were just taking pictures with it. LYN: Right. Right! He gave me his phone to take photos with! It’s in my pocket! /checks his pockets/ FYL: Weren’t we just taking pictures with it? LYN: Yeah. What happened after? LYN: Are you serious?? FYL: There’s no way, right? - /still checking his pockets/ LYN: Why don’t you call it? FYL: That’s so strange… LYN: Yeah! After we took pictures… we didn’t stop, right? We didn’t stop to sit somewhere? FYL: We didn’t stop anywhere. LYN: Call it. FYL: “It’s currently in use.” LYN: ?? What does that mean?? FYL: ! There’s a sound! OMG, that scared me to death! It fell to the side of the seat. It’s okay though, even it I did lose it. LYN: We found it. It was to the side of the seat. Look at our handsome driver. LYN: ! Seatbelt, seatbelt.

51:26 LYN: Friends, we were making more scenes for ourselves. We pretended the phone was missing, so that the viewers might gain a sense of- FYL: They might go to where we were and look for it?? LYN: We designed a thrilling scenario so that everyone in the stream can be worried for the lost phone. In the end! What you didn’t expect was for us to find it right beside his seat! Too thrilling. FYL: How was our acting? Not bad, right? XD

52:20 FYL: Let me ask you- for the New Year’s stage, why did you cry? On the stage. LYN: Why did I cry? Because I’m a crybaby. FYL: Were you emotional? But honestly, I saw you wearing those clothes and got emotional myself. FYL: Is that your actual costume from the drama? - gets distracted by people taking pictures of the car FYL: Do you think they’ll get a picture of my license number? LYN: Do you think an artist’s license number is a secret? - But LYN asks viewers to please don’t take pictures of the license plate number. LYN: Oh, so you drive a Ferrari. FYL: As if- I can’t afford it. LYN: Xiao Fang could continue to work hard~ - singing along to 奉上 (sounds good!) FYL: Do you have lyrics? If I said that I can’t remember the lyrics to this song, would it (look bad)? LYN: It’s not important. - FYL harmonizes a line w/ LYN, but LYN didn’t sing that line out loud.

54:33 C: FYL is such a good person! LYN: He’s great! If he weren’t a good person, then we wouldn’t have become friends.

55:17 FYL: That time we went through the Weibo Headquarters, right? And you sang a couple lines… (LYN: My hair is messed up!) FYL: I went home and was thinking. This song- when I heard you sing it in person- sounded quite high. So when I went woke up to shower the next day I grabbed a bluetooth speaker and tried to sing along with the chorus. I sang my voice hoarse. LYN: /laughs/ That song’s a little high for me as well.

56:40 LYN: I’m guessing- those people who were taking pictures of your car earlier? They probably didn’t know it was US. They probably just thought the car look cool. Really! Because the color is nice. FYL: That makes me sad. LYN: LOL. That the car is more welcome than you are? I don’t think those people were watching our stream, in any case. They weren’t taking pictures of us, I get the feeling they were trying to take pictures of the car. 57:28 C: What color is it? LYN: Pink. /giggles/ LYN: Why is it that FYL can play YSS? This is one of the reasons- he’s flashy enough.

58:00 - complaining about other drivers who don’t follow the rules of the road. LYN: They’re getting reported!

58:35 - makes a comment about singing Zhang Jie’s songs (t’s hard) 58:59 FYL: But with singing, too. You have to constantly sing. It’s like working out/training your body. LYN: Ywah, you have to keep at it so that you can maintain the skill. FYL: So that’s why every now and then I have to shout my voice out. LYN: Sing every once in a while. FYL: In that case, when I’m on set in the next few days I’ll just have to- /starts singing, loudly/! LYN: If you do that, you’re gonna get hit. C: That scared me to death! LYN: Because you’re wearing the mic!! FYL: Oh! I’m sorry!! I forgot. LYN: No worries. This is also an effect of live streaming.

1:00:02 LYN: The first round was faking we lost the phone. This round is suddenly shouting and scaring you to death.

1:00:23 - 别梦寒 FYL: This song is also really nice. LYN: This song IS nice. But it was included less, so people heard it less. I really like this song. It’s one that can be considered in the Top 3 of all OSTs I’ve sung in the past couple of years. C: What’s Number 1? FYL: That’s a good question. LYN: There is no Number 1 or 2. There’s no ranking. FYL: But at least you know what Number 3 is. C: There are a lot of new fans. LYN: Thank you.

1:01:25 LYN: Have you arranged a dinner for tonight? FYL: No. LYN: ?? You don’t have plans? You’re not going to treat me to a meal?? You called me over to Hangzhou and you’re not even going to feed me dinner? FYL: Is instant noodles okay? LYN: Okay. // You DID give me a bowl of lotus root powder for my birthday though, yes. But anything other than that? C: What’s for dinner? LYN: I don’t know. He said he didn’t have anything- instant noodles, I guess. We’ll come back around to this later. When we’re in a pinch with filming we don’t have the time to eat at all. FYL: Especially if you have to shoot night scenes. LYN: Are you going back to Hengdian tonight? FYL: /confirms/ LYN: Then, let’s go back together.

1:02:24 C: Isn’t Hangzhou food hub? LYN: It’s because it is! There are too many good foods (so you can’t choose). FYL: When you have too many choices, the best choice is a pack of instant noodles. FYL: We’re both capricorns. So we’re more conservative. LYN: Is that so? Us two capricorns are so loud and noisy now, so what forced us to be this way? Look at what this industry did to us. FYL: What’s your rising sign? LYN: Scorpio.

1:03:05 C: Are you playing with beads? LYN: I’m not playing with them, but I’m wearing them.

1:03:30 FYL: All of a sudden my mind has settled. It feels like I’m in a daze. LYN: That’s good. I used to like driving while listening to songs- going out to some deserted place in the middle of nowhere. I’d stop the car and just sit there. - realize they don’t have anything to drink, so they’ll stop by to grab something later 1:04:00 C: I requested time off to watch you stream. LYN: That’s not necessary! Our stream isn’t very exciting. FYL: Our stream is suited for days where you have the day off and you’re still huddled in your blankets because you haven’t thought of what you should do. LYN: Right. When you’re bored, you can play this as something to listen to, on the side. FYL: Maybe if you want to watch tv, you’d have to walk to the living room. But you don’t want to get out of bed so you can watch this on your phone. LYN: But nowadays I just use my phone to watch tv, also. My tv at home hasn’t been turned on in a long time. If I watch dramas, I’ll do it on my iPad. C: Are you talking about me? LYN: Meaning you’re doing exactly what we’re saying? You just turn on your phone and lie in bed, not wanting to get up or move? Turn on our stream and let it play as bgm? FYL: They probably just turned on their phone and have noticed that we’re streaming. C: I’m doing homework. LYN: Doing your homework while listening to our voices. Look up once in a while to give us a gander. FYL: Would they write the answers wrong? You turn your homework in tomorrow and your teacher tells you that you got everything wrong. LYN: They wrote down the lyrics to these songs, instead.

1:05:40 FYL: Do you like love songs more, or ? LYN: Everything is good. The most important thing for me is that it sounds good. There’s no exact genre that I like. I listen to rap as well. FYL: Do you have a song where you rap? LYN: Yeah. FYL: I want to hear it! 🙂 LYN: Let’s not.

1:06:15 FYL: I didn’t get to watch your stage performance with Xiao Zeng (ZXS). Did it go well, the rap? LYN: The rap went well. /starts reciting/ It was memorized by force. Xiao Fang knows this because one day the three of us- ZSX, FYL, LYN- were eating at my house. We all wrapped up early, so were having a meal at my house. ZSX was feeling a lot of pressure, and asked me if I had memorized the lyrics for the opening song. I told him I didn’t, because there would be a prompter. He said, “Ohh, is that right?” But then I thought about it and considered that actually, I SHOULD memorize it. He reminded me. So the two of us were just memorizing the lyrics. FYL: You started doing it while eating! LYN: /recites more lyrics/ FYL: Wow, I bet you were even doing it in your dreams. LYN: Yeah- we were still going through it up until the moment we had to stand on stage. I was afraid I would say them wrong. FYL: I bet when you were dreaming of it, at the sound of your alarm in the morning you’d shock yourself awake and into reciting out loud.

1:08:00 FYL: I don’t know why, when I was younger I used to remember all the lyrics. But now I can’t. LYN: … Because we’ve heard too many songs by now? FYL: When you listen to a song, do you go out of your way to memorize the lyrics? LYN: Not particularly. If it’s my own song and I have to sing it at some event, I’ll take some time in advance to remember the lyrics. LYN: Nowadays when I sing I pretty much rely on the prompter. But you at least have to know around 70%+ of the song. FYL: Right. You can’t keep looking at it. LYN: Yes. 70% or more. You can look at the prompter every once in a while when you’re singing. If you can’t remember the lyrics you can scan the prompter ahead of time. 1:09:00 LYN: I didn’t see clearly, but I think someone said that they had a fight with their husband because you want to watch us stream? Did you really? It’s not worth it!! Stop watching. Don’t let watching two puxin-men influence your house and home. It’s not worth it. Go make it up to your husband. Stop watching. Turn it off.

1:10:00 FYL: I have to take the chance to wear my sunglasses before it gets dark. I haven’t worn them very much since I bought them. LYN: Is that so? I wear the ones you bought me sometimes when I go out for work. FYL: It’s so flashy. LYN: LOL, yeah. Because the logo is printed all over. FYL: Only “the most confident man in all the world” would dare to wear them. LYN: FYL gifted me a pair of sunglasses from a big brand- all of the design elements on the glases are actually the brand’s logo. Just in case you can’t tell where the glasses are from. FYL: But I get the feeling you can actually pull off wearing them. LYN: Why? Because I am “puxin” enough? XD FYL: You have that aura about you. LYN: No, I can’t live up to them. FYL: I just think you have more of a personality, but more introverted. LYN: Thank you. FYL: You need something bright! LYN: People rely on clothes- I have to rely on my wardrobe to find my aura. Normally I’m too basic, so I need something to help me. FYL: No, you’re not bad that to that extent.

1:11:19 - FYL takes his hand off the wheel in excitement LYN: Please put your hands back on the wheel. FYL: Yes, right.

1:11:30 ----- Wang Yizhe time C: Lao Qian is here. LYN: Is he? Let me see if I can connect. LYN: Apparently there are more than 2k people waiting to connect. It’s not worth it! I won’t connect with you. I sent an invite to Lao Qian. Whether he accepts or not is up to him. If it’s convenient, he’ll accept. If it’s not then he won’t.

- /lag/

WYZ: /wearing sunglasses/ LYN: To fit in. The squad needs to have the same gear. You’re even wearing black. WYZ: No, these are my pajamas. LYN: Where are you, Beijing? WYZ: Yes, in Beijing. LYN: Right… If you were here, we’d be playing together. WYZ: What are you to up to? LYN: We’re doing a simple stream today- my “birthday” stream and it so happened that he (FYL) was off so we decided to hang out together. WYZ: Are you going to shop or…? LYN: I don’t know where he’s taking me- FYL: We’re going to where young people go to have fun. WYZ: ??? “Where young people go to have fun”?? Are you close to Hengdian? LYN: We’re in Hangzhou today. FYL: I already took everyone to our first attraction. LYN: We found some seats by West Lake and made two cups of lotus root powder. After we finished we ran. FYL: I was originally planning to ride the boat, but I don’t know why there was a really long line today. LYN: Yes- we were planning to ride on the boat. FYL: Isn’t it romantic? WYZ: If the two of you went on a boat ride wouldn’t the bridge collapse (because of all the people on it)? LYN: Let me tell you- here’s the embarrassing thing. No one recognized us. WYZ: Well, yes- that IS embarrassing. LYN: Going out wasn’t embarrassing, but since you mentioned being recognized, now it IS embarrassing. No one recognized us. FYL: I was planning to get the speaker and playing 奉上 right then and there! WYZ: Then, Lao Ning. You probably didn’t stand up. If you did you would have ben exposed in an instant. LYN: No- we were wandering around the whole time. We walked back and forth and no one recognized us. WYZ: Are people in Hangzhou all as tall as you are??? LYN: That’s why I was saying, that the two of us are puxin men. Normal/Basic (putong) and Confident (zixin). That’s why no one recognized us. WYZ: You wanted to go out a little obviously, wearing sunglasses so that people knew you were celebrities, but it ended up that no one paid attention to you. LYN: No, it was fine. Also, because I had told people in the stream not to come find us. They probably didn’t want to in the first place, but I just thought I should mention it. They were respectful of us and didn’t come. WYZ: So it’s just the two of you? LYN: Yeah, just the two of us. No sponsor or anything. WYZ: Then I guess you’ve been exposed by now. Your itinerary is going to get a lot more crowded. LYN: Don’t say that! There are two outcomes: 1. People think they need to help us save face and quickly grab a car to come make noise so that we look more popular, or 2. No one shows up at all.

1:15:30 WYZ: How long are you planning to be out for? LYN: I don’t know. There’s not exactly a time limit. FYL: We’ll see as we go. LYN: We’ll stay out for the day and then return to Hengdian at night and continue filming tomorrow. WYZ: The main thing is because you both don’t have work today, is that right? LYN: Yeah- the crew gave us a day. He (FYL) just entered a new one. - “Dian Gong”?? [t/n: IDK what they’re referring to here] FYL: I entered the crew in December and they haven’t gotten around to my scenes yet. I’ve only shot for one day thus far. But it’s nice that I have this time. The timing was just right. WYZ: Have the two of you eaten? LYN: I told you, we had lotus root starch. WYZ: Is that even filling?? LYN: Oh my goodness- it was so thick, like eating a bowl of thickened cornstarch. FYL: For people like us who have grown up on dew alone, a bowl of lotus root starch is enough to carry us through the whole day. WYZ: The two of you eat little on a normal basis, anyway.

1:16:45 LYN: I thought since it was my birthday I would bother him a bit, since he’s always in Hangzhou. He’s from Zhejiang. WYZ: This is his territory. LYN: Yeah- so I thought I would ask my good friend to take me out to eat well. In the end I came here and he dragged me to West Lake- not even getting there by car! we WALKED - to find seats so that he could prepare two cups of lotus root starch. FYL: We even brought our own water. LYN: We boiled the water at home and brought it ourselves. And then we still had half a bag of lotus root powder left, that we wrapped up and are taking back home. WYZ: FYL- I think if you dressed up as YSS and took pictures by West Lake, I think it would look really nice. LYN: That’s true. WYZ: The white clothes really suit the scenery. LYN: If he went in costume, people would probably recognize him, then. WYZ: They might think it’s some rando cosplaying as YSS. LYN: Don’t keep bringing up the topic of people recognizing us. It’s embarrassing (bc no one did). It’s a complicated feeling.

1:17:50 C: It’s my first time seeing Lao Qian say so much. WYZ: I was at home cleaning up and got a notification that the two of you were streaming. I came in then realized that you can see me. I was just planning to watch in silence and be a viewer. LYN: Yes, I can see when you come in. WYZ: Mainly I saw that the two of you were bare faced and wearing sunglasses, so I thought I could also wear a pair and connect. LYN: We don’t have anything planned - we’re just going to shop around. WYZ: Yeah! It’s not your birthday yet, right? Why would you have a b-day stream… LYN: I don’t have time on the day of my birthday. WYZ: I see. LYN: I don’t have time, so I decided to do something today. It so happened that I asked FYL yesterday if he had time, and he did. Since that was the case I thought we could stream together. We could hang out around Hangzhou. WYZ: Sounds great. It’s rare to have some time off, so it’s great to get around. It gets boring staying in Hengdian all the time. LYN: It’s been too long since I’ve been out and about. WYZ: It’s been a long, long time since I last saw you. LYN: Yes, yes. It’s okay- let’s meet in Beijing in a couple of days. I might have an event there, and we can go out to eat. WYZ: Alright.

1:19:20 WYZ: Oh- you’re still wearing the mic? LYN: No- when I connected with you, I unplugged it. Because I wouldn’t be able to hear you talking with it on. We’re professionals, come on! WYZ: Oh my~ You’re SO professional! LYN: I’m not a pro at acting, but for livestream I’m the PRO. WYZ: You’re amazing. LYN: Sing and acting is not professional, but for streaming I am.

- /8 more minutes until they reach their destination/

WYZ: How long have you been streaming for? LYN: 1h, 20m! WYZ: Wow, so long?? You’ve been streaming the whole way? LYN: Yeah, we just haven’t stopped. This stream is not like those business-oriented other streams. This is just for- WYZ: Chatting. LYN: - for “company.” FYL: For “relaxation.” For “water, but no content”. LYN: It LOOKS like stream, but really it’s a surveillance camera. It’s a surveillance camera, aimed at the two of us. It’s like whatever we do, we’re being monitored. Just for fun. WYZ: You’re not streaming in your house today, so there are no special sound effects. LYN: Right. No canned laughter. I have to laugh myself. WYZ: Yeah! But this way it’s awkward and freezes the room over. LYN: We have music though, in the car. FYL: We’re playing some bgm. WYZ: This is FYL’s car, right? LYN: Yeah. FYL: No, I rented it. WYZ: Ah~ You rented a nice car especially for Lao Ning. FYL: Yes, since he came I have to show up. WYZ: Okay, then.

1:21:00 C: Call Yuan Lu over. LYN: No- it’s not like I was originally planning on a two-person stream. If I had thought I was going to do this earlier, I would have called everyone over. WYZ: Right! I just stumbled in by accident. It’s not like this was planned. LYN: Yeah- I wasn’t planning on this, but I only just now thought that I COULD have done it this way. I was just thinking- if I was in my house, I would just stream like normal but stick up some “Happy Birthday” balloons in the background. I would paste up some flowers. Then after a while my staff would come in pushing a cart with a cake on it to give me a surprise. I would be so touched! Then, I would blow out the candles on stream. After that, my staff would bring some paper prompts with like new year’s wishes or something like that. I’m sure there would be something like, giving the fans some benefit like “posting ten selfies” or something. I know that if I were in my room it would go like that. But I thought about it and… It seems like a process many are familiar with. WY: Yeah, you get the process. I think when we were in the crew, they were all this format. LYN: Right. But I didn’t think that was very interesting so I decided to do something different/unexpected and come out with Xiao Fang. It might not be very exciting, but I think this way is more relaxing and free-flowing. WYZ: I think this is nice. It’s more what you would do normally/in your daily life. If you go the same route as people usually do, it would be boring. WYZ: Then will you be streaming later, on your birthday? Or, no? LYN: I don’t think I will, because I have filming to do. WYZ: Okay. LYN: Since I had the time today, I decided to stream. WYZ: It’s good, since the two of you are in Hengdian. Why not meet, since you’re both there? LYN: Right. FYL: I calculated it, and you should be coming here soon, too. WYZ: Well, you take care of Lao Ning first. FYL: No problem. WYZ: And then later-

FYL: Do you want to catch a plane over to eat instant noodles? WYZ: ?? Instant noodles? FYL: Yeah- I reserved some instant noodles to eat tonight. WYZ: You’d better at least add and egg and let him eat Longevity Noodles. FYL: I will. LYN: He can come over, but the caveat is that you have to reimburse his airfare. XD FYL: Forget about it, then! WYZ: I have ground transportation,... LYN: Of course! You need to book a car service to send and receive him, then after hte meal make sure he has enough to-go before sending him back. WYZ: I’m going to need hair/makeup and wardrobe on the way, too! LYN: You don’t need any of that- all black is quite nice. FYL: Why don’t I call you some takeout? WYZ: Then the three of us will be walking down the street and no one will recognize any of us. X’D LYN: I’m sure.

1:24:18 WYZ: I’m sure that FYL has more of a reputation in Hangzhou than either of us. FYL: Huh? I don’t! LYN: Why? Oh- Because he’s from here? FYL: I’m not from Hangzhou- I’m from Jiaxing. I’m not in Hangzhou all the time; I spend more time in Jiaxing. WYZ: Okay, well- if you’re eating instant noodles then I won’t go. If you eat at some fancy restaurant, remember to call me. LYN: I WISH he would take me to a fancy restaurant. FYL: You aren’t eating that today. It’s not in the cards. LYN: There’s no budget, since you’ve rented this car already. FYL: I only have 200RMB in my pocket. LYN/WYZ: You brought cash? FYL: I was planning on taking him to the shops to buy clothes.// But then I thought of something better. WYZ: Oh, don’t expose where you’re going. LYN: If we mentioned it, we’re definitely not going there anymore. WYZ: Reverse operations. LYN: He was thinking of going to the Sijiqing Garment Market- because it’s more fashionable, right? Even though I’ve never been there!- He told me it was very fashionable. But we were thinking- because many clothes sellers often livestream, too- so if we also went we’d be in direct competition. I was afraid to get hit. FYL: Sijiqing CAN BE fashionable. WYZ: Can you even find Lao Ning’s size there? FYL: Yeah, of course. I was originally planning on the two of us preparing 200RMB, and we’d go around haggling. WYZ: So do you usually get your clothes at Sijiqing? LYN: Someone is asking what Sijiqing is! Let me explain- it really is a fashionable place. It’s a garment market. Somewhere people who sell clothes will go to get their goods for their shop. It’s similar to Wuai Market in Shenyang and Dongwuyuan Wholesale in Beijing. WYZ: There’s also Jintaiyang in Dongbei, right? LYN: Yes, and… Baima in Guangzhou? Or something like that. FYL: I was looking up information online and I read that we should each bring a black plastic bag. WYZ: Yes! And you need a little rolling cart, too. LYN: I’m sure if we weren’t streaming, we could go there too. We could selet some clothing and then sell it online to my fans. XD We buy it for 20RMB, and sell it for 25. Make 5RMB off one article, so if we sell 100 articles we would make 500RMB. That’s not bad. WYZ: It would make streaming worth it. LYN: Right?! WYZ: You could get a decent meal out of it. FYL: Then we’re eating big! LYN: We can eat hotpot. FYL: We wouldn’t have to eat instant noodles. :’)

1:28:04 WYZ: Have you arrived? LYN: Yup, we’re here. Thank you for keeping us company. WYZ: Alright, no problem. LYN: Let’s meet up, either in Hengdian or Beijing. WYZ: Ok! Bye~ LYN: Bye bye~ WYZ: Have fun! Bye bye. LYN: Happy New Year! WYZ: Happy New Year~

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1:28:22 - LYN’s 天问 playing as bgm in the car LYN: Did you used to love my music this much? Or did you know I was coming, so you purposely made this playlist?? FYL: No, it’s a really nice sounding song! FYL: I spent my birthday in the crew, right? Do you know what song they played for me? LYN: What song? FYL: 奉上. LYN: Oh, really? FYL: Yeah!1:28:50 - they’ve arrived at the next destination - Aquarium Date!

[t/n: I won’t translate directly much of this next segment]

1:31:00 - FYL: Should we take our sunglasses off? Otherwise we won’t be able to see anything.

FYL: Jellyfish! LYN: Are these real? FYL: Yeah! LYN: I thought it was a special effect!

1:32:00 - trying to feed the fish & the way lyn translates english is... interesting, but you can’t say he’s wrong. X'D “Feed Point” becomes “FOOD Po (po - 泼/sprinkle) - In (li - 里/in (preposition) - T (tou - 投/to cast/send)” FYL: They (the fish) must eat a lot every day. LYN: But there are a lot of fish…

1:34:30 - they found a snake and referenced the drama lol

FYL: There’s no snake in this one. Asian Vine Snake. It’s too thin, we can’t see it. LYN: Is the snake alright?! /laughs/ The snake is fine, and you’re fine too. LYN: The snake’s okay. It’s inside, sleeping. It’s very alive. Just sleeping.

- [t/n: these fish tanks are just… open-topped. What???] - commenting on the blue color of fish LYN: They won’t jump out? THAT would be impressive. FYL: If they come out, they can’t go back. If that happens then they… meet their H-E. (happy ending, referencing the supposed “H-E” of YNGS)

1:37:00 - Giant Pangasius & Gourami - marvels at the size of… whatever fish that is. FYL: Let’s see if it’ll come up (for fish feed). LYN: I don’t think it cares about that stuff. That’s like peanuts for it. FYL: This white one looks like it wants to eat it… FYL: Look from the top!

FYL: This fish's lips are pretty sexy. LYN: Sexy? Why don't you stick your head in there and kiss it, then?? FYL: It’s not eating… /fish eats/ Oh! It is!

1:38:40 - reptiles, some sort of mimic fish, plants 1:40:00 - arapaima (LYN: This is scary! How long is that!? At least 2m???)

1:41:00 - silver arowana & oscar fish FYL: You said they were ugly and they got angry! LYN: No, but they don’t look as pretty as the ones people raise. - give them some fish food C: I’m hungry now. LYN: Are you hungry because of the fish food, or because of the fish?!? If it’s the fish food, then that’s a little strange. C: Are you at a restaurant? LYN: LOL! FYL: Wasn’t it on the news, that a mother took the fish her son was raising and cooked and ate it? LYN: I haven’t seen that news. LYN: But- what are you talking about?!? This is an aquarium, not a restaurant. Do you think we’re picking out our seafood for dinner?

1:42:45 - these fish are poisonous? (Kaluga Sturgeon & Alligator Gar (eggs are poisonous)) 1:43:40 - /points at the fish/ LYN: What are you looking at?!

1:44:00 - LYN: There’s a “Mermaid Theatre” up ahead. Do we want to check it out? XD - found scorpions & spiders. LYN: I won’t show you any of these cold-blooded animals. You were already afraid enough with just the fish. - Comments egging them on to see the Mermaid Theatre :p

1:44:55 - Starfish FYL: A shark. LYN: Shark, where?

FYL: There! FYL: It looks like… LYN: It looks like a mudfish. FYL: It doesn’t have the feel of a shark. LYN: This is a Spotted Bamboo Shark (狗鲨). This nickname is too weak sounding!! - bullying the fish

1:45:39 LYN: The other day I saw an article on the origin of humans, and it was discussing from where we originated- and there was a comment that read, “Correct. Actually, humans came from the sea. We used to be good friends with goldfish.”

1:46:25 - Sea Turtles (they like to eat and like to play, please don’t stick your hands in the tank) FYL: They’re not afraid of humans, look they’re following us. LYN: They’ve probably been alive for longer than we have! - feeding the turtles and making a joke about hotpot FYL: Who thought to feed sea turtles cabbage? They’ve probably never even seen this, in the sea. LYN: Just like me, someone from Dongbei who’s learned to eat Sichuanese food.

1:50:00 - discussing whether they’re going to check out the mermaids or not 1:50:17 - found some sort of dragon throne

1:51:20 - FYL goes to "teach the restroom a lesson"; LYN shows us some sharks. LYN: Did you just wear the mic into the bathroom?? FYL: Yeah, I just that of that! It’s okay, I guess. - lost the sound when it was LYN’s turn.We hear some... sounds of him washing his hands, prob.

- little boy came to bring them some water; he proceeds to follow them around the aquarium 1:57:00 - garden eel 1:57:40 - shark! - manta ray in the water tunnel (bad reception here)

- saw the mermaid, but couldn't show it bc they were wearing... a little. but it’s okay bc the stream lagged and we couldn’t see anything anyway. 2:01:30 - kid’s show - now on their way to finding the exit; they gotta run bc people found them :| 2:05:30 - the kid followed them out, too XD

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2:06:42 - on to the next destination!

2:07:18 C: Why do you have double eyelids? LYN: ! Sis, I’ve always had them, you just couldn’t tell because my eyes are small. Like this (straight angle)- I have monolids. But if you look at me from the bottom-up it’s double.

2:08:05 LYN: Please open (turn on) the music. FYL: LOL, Ok! LYN: Play the music. - LYN: ! Did you fasten your seatbelt?! FYL: Yeah.

2:09:00 LYN: Let me show you the QR code, and you can pay the parking fee for me. XD /to FYL/ How much is it? FYL: 10RMB. LYN: 10? Ok- you (the viewers) can pay that for us. /joking/ - can’t find the exit >.<

2:11:07 FYL: If I don’t wear my sunglasses now, would it be… LYN: … too late to wear them. Wear them a while. You just bought them, right? FYL: No, I;ve had them for a while. LYN: Just never had the chance to wear them? FYL: No I’m just.. Not in the mood? Sometimes I feel like I sort of count as an artist, right? Other people in the airport come out wearing sunglasses and they look very cool. But when I wear them myself I feel like I’m pretending. I can’t stand myself. LYN: I feel that way too. When I used to go to the airport before, I wouldn’t even wear a hat. My hair would be messy, and I didn’t wear sunglasses. At most I would have a face mask. But then I discovered a problem- all of that will become your dark history. XD FYL: That makes sense! XD LYN: Sometimes you get up and you’re not in the greatest condition- your eyes are swollen and your hair is messy and they take pictures of it all. When you look back it all turns into capital materiall to bring you down. That’s why now I try to make myself look more presentable. FYL: That’s true. … I keep losing my sunglasses, though.

2:12:27 - discovers it’s looping the same song C: Where is he taking you? LYN: To eat instant noodles. It’s almost dinner time. FYL: Should I just play any song? LYN: Whatever is fine.

2:13:17 FYL: Do you feel like the year passes by too quickly? LYN: Yeah, it’s too fast. FYL: I feel like… the two of us should find a chance to really go out there and travel. It’s just that I don’t feel like we get many opportunities to create any deep memories. You know? I can’t think of anything I’ve done that has left an impression. I remember my dramas! LYN: I know- we only remember that we’ve been filming for dramas. LYN: For me, I don’t dare to go out to play. I feel like I have to make better use of my time. LYN: But my mentality has gotten better. After YNGS aired, I feel a lot better about it. Sometimes I feel like, “Yeah. I should take a break. It’s time.” Otherwise I can’t see the meaning in life anymore. People have to take a rest sometimes. FYL: Go to West Lake and have a bowl of lotus root starch. LYN: Yeah. C: You’ve matured. LYN: I don’t think that’s it. It (the reception) is just different from what I imagined. That’s why I think it’s time to take a break. I’ll finish up the next four dramas I have lined up and then take a break, XD Or was that too basic and overconfident?? LYN: Sometimes I joke in my stream. They’re all inside-jokes. Please don’t take it seriously. Thank you.

2:15:16 LYN: It’s good that we didn’t do anything too out of the ordinary, today. Otherwise we’d get another round of criticism. FYL: Most of the time I speak without thinking first. But now... I’ve become afraid. LYN: Yeah, the nature of the entertainment industry… it’s like everything we say can be blown out of proportion to the point that everyone is afraid to say anything. It’s better to stay quiet. - talking about wearing pink thermals, I didn’t really catch the prompt why.

2:16:25 FYL: Do you have good eyesight? LYN: Pretty good! One is 5.0 and the other is 5.1. Don’t just see my small eyes, my eyesight is great. FYL: That means you didn’t watch a lot of tv when you were young. LYN: I have my family to thank for that. They didn’t let me watch tv. FYL: Mine either! When I was little I REALLY wanted to watch tv. But when my dad went out he would take the remote and put it somewhere, with a hair on it, to see if it moved. When he came back home he would test the temperature of the screen. LYN: It’s like what spies in dramas do. Put a leaf in the door crack. If someone breaks in the leaf would fall to the floor and you would know someone went into your house. That’s too cool. FYL: I could watch every Saturday, for two hours. LYN: What’s funny is that your family would tell you that watching tv would hurt your eyes, but they’d make you read instead. Somehow reading books doesn’t give you bad eyesight?? FYL: But you should still read often. LYN: There are many ways to gain knowledge nowadays, though. You can gain knowledge by looking at your phone, too. FYL: My sight’s pretty good too. About the same as yours… because I didn’t read that many books when I was young. XD LYN: It’s okay, It all comes around. You didn’t read many books when you were young and that’s why you have to read so many drama scripts now. When you were little you never remembered the prompts, but now you have to remember your lines.

2:18:44 FYL: It’s a state of mind! After you stop filming for a while, you become stupid. But when you start filming, then you start thinking quickly. LYN: Right- it’s the same as singing, we said earlier. You have to maintain it. If you keep remembering lines day after day, your memory will get better, too. - stream lags LYN: Sometimes when we’re filming, if the crew thinks we could use the same setting to crank out a few scenes, they’ll shuffle the schedule. But it’s not as if you remembered the lines for the additional scene ahead of time, so you just have to memorize them on the spot. It doesn’t matter that they gave it to you last minute, you have to remember it. You just have to develop that ability. LYN: It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. - LYN was about to say something, but decides against it. FYL says that’s something he has to learn from LYN- the sense of awareness.

2:21:30 - tunnel up ahead, possible bad connection - discussing vertical vs horizontal screen position. LYN chose vertical because this way it feels more like we’re on a video call. - troubleshooting for live viewers (if the video and audio aren’t synced, close the window and re-open it)2:22:54 FYL: I loved Hangzhou when I was a kid. Every time, after the rain, it would smell fragrant with flowers. LYN: There weren’t lakes and rivers in Jiaxing? FYL: There were! LYN: But it smelled different? FYL: Yeah. LYN: Dandong is by the Yalu River, so it just smelled like seafood. - considering the geography of the Yalu River estuary - asking what Dandong is known for, and if LYN knows how to make it (he doesn’t) FYL: That’s such a stereotype. It’s just like when people ask me where I’m from, and when I tell them Jiaxing they say I must be good at wrapping zongzi. Like, who told you that?? LYN: is Jiaxing known for zongzi? FYL: Yeah. So I guess all we do at home is wrap zongzi. -__-;

2:25:05 - switched networks; there’s nothing viewers can do but endure it, bc there’s nothing he can do to help it. Says if he tries an outdoors stream again the next time he’ll bring portable wifi device with him.

2:26:15 - still trying to fix the other mic

2:27:20 FYL: If you keep wearing your sunglasses won’t you not be able to see soon? LYN: It’s not important. I’ll wear it while I still can, because I can’t once we get indoors. FYL: You can still wear it indoors, if you’d like. C: It’s lagging because there are too many people watching. LYN: Aiyoo~ You make it seem like we are very welcome and people are falling over themselves trying to watch us. It’s not worth it, and there’s not much exciting content here anyway. There hasn’t been much today- only pretending we lost FYL’s phone, and then suddenly warming up the voice to scare you to death. LYN: ! We’ve been streaming for 2.5 hours! FYL: Already? How come I don’t feel like it? LYN: When I’m streaming at home I’ll go for about 3-4 hours. But I feel like time has passed by so quickly today. FYL: Me too! FYL: It’s been so relaxing, as well.

2:29:00 C: Is your hand sore (from holding the phone all day)? LYN: Of course it is. - Thanks weibo for promoting the stream and also makes sure that FYL’s channel is also livestreaming.

2:30:05 - they’re both trending in the hot search C: Xiao Fang is on it. LYN: He is, but I’m not? XD FYL: Don’t~! LYN: ! You focus on driving. C: There are three topics. FYL: Am I trending because I lost my phone? They all went to look for it? LYN: They’re saying that you have a solo one, and then there’s one with us together. Thanks for all your support. - continues to entertain the thought that FYL is trending bc people are at Xihu trying to find his phone. LYN: So are we heading back to the hotel to eat? FYL: No~ LYN: This is where we passed by before, right? FYL: Yeah. My location is set to this parking. /indicates the gps/ In this parking lot. We’ll park there are eat instant noodles. LOL. LYN: The day went like this: we went to Xihu to have a bowl of lotus root starch, and now we’re going back to find some parking near Xihu to have instant noodles in the parking lot. I’m guessing the hot water in his thermos is still hot. It should be enough to cook the noodles, right? FYL: It should be no problem. LYN: Oh, I know. Since there’s cold brewed tea, there must also be cold cooked noodles. FYL: Maybe we just let it soak for longer. Eat it and soak it at the same time. LYN: This is called slow-cooking at a low temperature. FYL: Cold and crispy noodles. LYN: Amazing. FYL: We’ll test out the texture for everyone.

2:32:25 C: What did FYL give you as a b-day present? LYN: I’m not complimenting him just because he’s right here, but it’s not as if I compliment him behind his back either- /LOL/- but he’s a really nice person. If we haven’t met for some time, he will always bring me a small gift. Sometimes Lego, sunglasses, or clothes. Today he gifted me with clothing. I haven’t worn it yet. FYL: ! That reminds me of the candle-tray I borrowed from you. When we’re back in Hengdian, I’ll bring it to you. LYN: Don’t worry about it. I’ll get it later. - talking about different ways to say “sensible/having high EQ” FYL: But actually it’s mutual! A few days ago he even sent me Dandong strawberries. C: FYL learned he was streaming and then put on his sunglasses. LYN: /cackling/ FYL: No! I just wanted to wear them while there’s still some sun out! LYN: Right! I know we didn’t do anything fashionable today, but we have to look fashionable while doing it. All-black outfit and sunglasses- I feel like we should be going clubbing. - lag again

2:35:15 - almost at their destination - commenting on the traffic

2:35:37 LYN: We brought a selfie stick, but it’s in the suitcase. Later we’ll take it out and use it as a stand. FYL: But the color is too puxin. LYN: XD It’s also pink colored.

2:36:20 - trying to navigate around but got kinda lost (a little chaotic)

2:38:27 C: Go spend money at Jinsha Pavillion LYN: LOL FYL: If you give them YSSs name, you get a 5% discount. C: Can YOU drive? FYL: He’s an old driver. LYN: But it’s been a long time. FYL: You don’t really have a chance to drive. LYN: Right. When I go out it’s always to the hair/makeup. You want me to wake up early to drive myself there, then drive myself back at night?? I’d rather use the time to rest while I can (while someone else drives).

2:40:17 C: The back windows are open. LYN: It’s because the security guard earlier scared us! FYL tried to open the front window but pressed the back by accident. FYL: ? Then that means the video is pretty clear. They can even see the windows are open?

2:40:20 - they have arrived at their parking area, and will walk to the final destination? C: It’s dark out now. LYN: Right? We started streaming from when the sun was out and now night’s fallen. - trying to find a parking spot

2:44:56 - in the underground parking FYL: No- I can’t wear these sunglasses anymore. I can’t see a thing!! - /took them off/ FYL: I’m not handsome anymore, but at least I can see. - backing into the space, amazing. LYN: FYL’s steering wheel is about to start smoking. /imitates the aggressive turning of the wheel/

----------

2:46:40 - getting ready to get off the car, masking up, and grabbing supplies (power bank, phone stand) LYN: Where are we going? Are you taking me there? FYL: Yeah! 2:47:50 LYN: Would we get hit for wearing sunglasses when it’s night out? FYL: Huh? LYN: /repeats his question/ FYL: No, they will only think that we are very fashionable. LYN: /laughs/ Alright, then. LYN: In Dongbei, when we want to describe someone as really silly we’ll call them “cao hu”. FYL: If I went to Dongbei, someone could be cursing me out and I would probably say “Thank you.” LYN: Wow, what type of place is this?

- their destination was in the lot they were in earlier, but they weren’t allowed to park there so they have to walk :\ FYL: Oh no, my sunglasses. LYN: It’s too dark. I’m almost at my limit, too. It’s dark but in order to keep my look I can’t see the road very well. C: Take them off. LYN: No, we’ll keep at it for a while longer. No matter how dark it gets!

2:49:42 LYN: Wow, it’s cold at night. Good thing I wore this hat. FYL: I never understood what these things (poms poms) were for. LYN: For fashion. FYL: Is that so?? LYN: When it’s cold you can stuff them in your mouth. FYL: When it’s cold you can stuff them in your ears.

2:50:38 LYN: We do look quite strange like this, though. FYL: We don’t! LYN: It’s dark and we’re wearing all black, wearing masks and sunglasses. C: Why are you bringing a suitcase? LYN: The power bank and phone stand are in there. The thermos, too. We have to use it to make our noodles later. LYN: We’re here on the street pretending to be celebrities. FYL: I think it’s not that bad in Hangzhou, though. The other day I went to cut my hair, and the building- the whole building- was full of cosplayers. I think this city has a lot of people who like to wear something out of ordinary. We just have to not consider ourselves as all that. LYN: Right. You think that people are looking at you, but in reality no one cares.

2:50:50 - walking

2:53:50 FYL: When did you eat lunch? Did you eat? Don’t tell me you didn’t eat anything before you came out?? LYN: When I came over from Hengdian I had a bread. FYL: How big of a bread? LYN: That small croissant from S*bucks. LYN: That’s all I ate. I woke up, had a coffee and bread, had a bowl of lotus root starch, and now we’re heading to eat a bowl of noodles. So filling. FYL: For your noodles, no matter what I’m going to find a way to fish up some of that grass from the lake. XD LYN: Weren’t you the one who said we’d be arrested if we took anything from the lake??

2:55:00 - searching

2:55:40 LYN: It’s here? Such a nice place!?? You don’t want me to foot the bill today, do you? XD LYN: /to the stream/ If he wants me to pay I’m out of here.

2:56:15 FYL: !! I still have two boxes of fish food in my pocket! We can add them to the noodles. LYN: Get some hot water and we can eat the fish food. That’s what they’re saying, that humans originated from fish, right?

-----

[t/n: I don’t think I’ll trns much of the chaos/idle chatter of dinner]

2:57:30 C: Wow, I fell on the floor! LYN: I dropped my phone- FYL: That was a ploy. LYN: Right, we have no content, so we’re forcing it.

- took off the portable mics since they are inside now

2:58:05 - FYL is helping to get everything set up C: Assistant Xiao Fang~ LYN: No! He’s very professional about it. He learned we would be streaming yesterday and went to buy a selfie stick. C: The sound is suddenly loud. LYN: It’s because, when we were outside, if you could hear too clearly then we might catch other people’s private conversation. That’s impolite. (so they were using the external mics)

2:58:58 - shows off the bright pink selfie stick, which matches the carrier. The sleeve for the stick also matches LYN’s hat (with the pom poms). - plugging in the power bank bc after a day of streaming the phone he’s using has low battery. - suspects that either his power bank doesn’t have power, or the cord he’s using is faulty. It’s the latter, but he has other cords.

3:00:53 LYN: What is this? What are you doing?? You really brought your own tea leaves?!? FYL: I brought my own tea. LYN: Why are we even eating here, if you’re going to even bring your own tea?? FYL: I wasn’t kidding you! It’s because I was thinking whether I should give you lotus root powder or tea on the boat. I was wondering which one looked more “fashion”, and then- LYN: I’ve met people who bring their own beer to a restaurant, but never someone who brings their own tea!

3:02:00 FYL: Step-in Streamer Xiao Fang is at work~ C: You won’t take your sunglasses off? FYL: I’ll wear them for a little longer. FYL: It’s only been recently that I’ve started drinking tea. I used to really like drinking coffee- iced coffee, but in the last two years I feel like I’ve started liking to drink hot things. - cleaning up some spilled water C: You’ve worked hard. FYL: I haven’t~ What have I done? C: It’s healthier. FYL: It is.

C: West Lake Fish in Vinegar Gravy. (Song Sao Fish) FYL: I don’t know if people who aren’t from here could handle eating it. Because, if I’m remembering correctly, the authentic Sour Fish dish doesn’t have salt in it. It’s just sugar and vinegar. Have you had it before? C: Longjing Shrimp. FYL: I think I’m starting to get why people call Hangzhoou a food hub, because the dishes here are more on the light and mild side. But maybe other places in China are known for their strong flavors, heavy on the spices and salt. Hangzhou dishes are cooked to maintain the original flavor of the ingredients. C: Take of your sunglasses. FYL: If he hasn’t taken them off, I won’t! Has he already? Oh, he did. XD Alright, I’ll take them off. You can’t even let me wear them for a little longer? C: Is there a surprise? FYL: Yes~ The surprise already happened when you weren’t there to see it. LYN: You mean losing your phone? FYL: That counts as one of the surprises, yes.

3:05:00 LYN: I was originally thinking- if I streamed at home, I could put a row of rice and soybean oil in the background and then raffle them off to you. But since we made it into an outdoors stream, I don’t think we can raffle anything. Next year, then. FYL: The shipping fee for the rice alone would be ridiculous. It’s so heavy! One bag is what? 5kg? LYN: The shipping fee would be fine. We can just have the recipient pay. It doesn’t make a difference to me. FYL: But would it be embarrassing if it couldn’t be sent? If someone returns the item to sender? LYN: The simplest thing would be to autograph each jug. I’m sure they would reluctantly accept the parcel, in that case.

3:06:04 LYN: Did you bring your speaker? FYL: Yes, I was just planning to play some songs. But… I think this speaker is a knockoff. LYN: What do you mean? FYL: Yesterday I went to buy takeout and then I saw this brand, so I bought it. But the sound quality isn’t great, and I bought it for the price of the real thing. LYN: How do we know the quality of the sound just isn’t like that to begin with? FYL: You’ll know when you hear it. - puts his fluffy hat back on LYN: I should still wear this hat, because I bought it especially for this stream. I don’t want it to go to waste. FYL: Is in included on the expenses for the day? LYN: It’s included.

3:06:55 LYN: Are we doing 50/50 split today? FYL: Uh… Sure. - moving the camera FYL: I was thinking on moving it to that side of you? At an angle. FYL: I actually bought two bags of potato chips and bag of shrimp chips, but last night when I was watching a movie I ate them. - LYN, drinking tea and spitting out the tea leaves. ; FYL trying to get his speaker set up FYL: What do you think? Isn’t my tea better than theirs? LYN: I haven’t had theirs. Why don’t I order a cup, and we can compare? FYL: Don’t~ That will hurt someone’s feelings. (either his or the restaurant’s, lol) LYN: Yours is good, too. What is it- “jing ju mei”? It’s a red tea. FYL: You should drink red tea in the winter. FYL: Don’t you think the leaves:water ratio is great? LYN: Yeah, I keep having to pull stuff out of my mouth.

3:08:11 - promoting his and FYL’s weibo accounts. subscribe if you haven’t already. LYN: Thanks for keeping us company today. FYL: If it’s your first time seeing us, we’re two eat-streamers. - checking out the speaker LYN: It looks fine? FYL: Let me play you something, then you’ll know. What should I play? LYN: Anything’s fine. The playlist from the car. - /starts playing music and FYL looks to LYN for assessment/ LYN: How much did you buy this for? FYL: 800+ LYN: It’s fake. FYL: I know. :( LYN: The weight isn’t heavy enough. FYL: Right? I thought it was too light, too.3:09:40 - the dishes are starting to come out. It’s course by course. FYL: We suddenly went from eating instant noodles to this. LYN: I thought we were really going to eat noodles!

3:10:50 LYN: Let’s… eat, then. Sorry, friends- we’re going to eat now. If you have something you can eat with us. LYN: Thank you… thank you to Xiao Fang for treating me to such a grand meal. FYL: ?? I thought we were splitting it? LYN: Oh, then we should eat separately, too. FYL: Is that how it works? XD LYN: If it were split, then you would eat more of the dishes on the table. Whoever eats the most makes the most out of it.

- eating the dish and describing it as “it’s okay.” RIP. LYN: We were just at the aquarium and now we’re eating (chocolate) shells. - FYL listing out all the ways he discovered the speaker he bought was fake - LYN laughing at FYL for taking a drink from his tea and having to spit out a bunch of leaves - all crabs taste the same to LYN - flipped the camera because it was mirrored and people were confused why LYN was left-handed - it’s also FYL’s first time at this restaurant with their “creative” dishes (usually he just buys takeout) - talking about soup dumplings (the salty kind, not sweet) from Nanjing

FYL: What are you supposed to do in this situation? When someone has sent you a knockoff but insist that their product is real? :(

3:16:20 C: 40 million people are watching two puxin men eat dinner. LYN: One of the reasons why I rarely to eat-streams is because I think it’s impolite to be streaming while I’m eating. When I’m doing other streams, I would not eat while everyone else was. I just feel like eating isn’t right.

3:17:12 LYN: Wow, you reserved such a nice place, thank you. FYL: It’s nothing. LYN: Thank you. FYL: Stop! If you keep saying that, I’ll be the one footing the bill! Now I’m under pressure. LYN: We’re “internet famous” aren’t we? We’re not lacking that money. FYL: Oh, is that how it is?

3:17:43 C: Ning-ge is really pale. LYN: No- the beauty filter is on. C: Introduce the dish to us. LYN: It’s just… a very delicious soup. FYL: Mushroom and seafood flavor. /desscribes it more/ FYL: /to LYN/ What do you think? I have a talent for cooking, don’t you think? :D - LYN: I feel like everything we’ve done up to this point isn’t important. Right here, this is the most important. Sitting here, eating this meal. It’s like bitter first, then sweet. Eating lotus root starch next to the lake, then having a sweet date (the fruit) for dinner. FYL: Otherwise you wouldn’t have remembered that you had such an exquisite meal tonight! If I had brought you to a restaurant to begin with, wouldn’t it seem too expected? In comparison to the lotus root starch, now don’t you feel- LYN: Wow! This meal is too amazing!! FYL: “FYL took me out to Hangzhou and then treated me to such a nice meal!”

3:19:10 FYL: Do you have that tendency, to leave the things you like to eat the most until the end? LYN: Of course. FYL: Then have you experienced leaving it for the end, only to have it be taken by someone else before? LYN: I don’t think so. I would never eat out with people like that again. - LYN: I finally feel like I’ve entered an actual city, today. Because I’ve been in Hengdian for close to four years now, so I’ve eaten all there is to eat there already. There aren’t very many shops there, either. FYL: But one thing about it is that you can obviously see that it is much different than it was four years ago. There are a lot of new shops. LYN: Because all the other shops keep closing down. XD It’s a vicious cycle. FYL: I think the food stalls in Hengdian are pretty tasty. LYN: When we were shooting YNGS and we’d get off work at 3-4, I would go eat at the night market. - trying to figure out which night market, LYN doesn’t know the location exactly bc he doesn’t drive [t/n: Same, bro. I know things by landmarks, not streets.]

3:22:07 - FYL grabs Lotso from the carrier LYN: ?? What are you doing? FYL: It’s your birthday present. LYN: Really?? FYL: No, no. I’m joking. /takes it off camera/ LYN: It’s okay, (you can show it) since it’s Disney.

3:22:48 C: How long have you known each other? FYL: Maybe… 15 years? (shí-wǔ) LYN: Not that long. I think you need to fix your pronunciation- 4-5 years is more like it. (sì-wǔ) LYN: We came to know each other filming The Long Ballad. FYL: The first time I met you I still had no idea what you looked like. The first time I saw you, you were wearing a face mask. You were giving everyone hand sanitizer and personal protective equipment. I kept looking at you, trying to figure out what you looked like but you never took the mask off. LYN: I was too ugly. FYL: No~ Don’t say that. LYN: We first met when shooting The Long Ballad and even after filming had ended we didn’t become close. Because we had never gotten together to eat; there were no crew gatherings during that time. The timing was pretty rushed too, so as soon as we wrapped for the day everyone would turn in to get some rest. FYL: I think I was filming another drama at the same time… so… LYN: So we didn’t meet much in private either.

3:25:10 FYL: You eat so little, now? LYN: I’m alright. It’s just that I’ve walked a bit much today. XD I’m tired. I’ll rest a little before eating. There’s no rush. LYN: But we’ve kept in contact and then with YNGS we happened to be able to work together again. So we were able to hang out, and it turns out that we get along well. FYL: After YNGS, we started to hang out more in private. LYN: The most important thing is that we’re able to see each other. With most artist friends it’s hard to even see them half the time. Unless we’re all shooting guzhuang dramas, then of course we could meet each other in Hengdian. FYL: I used to try to make friends after a drama with the intention of keeping in contact, but it’s hard. LYN: Yes, it’s hard. Once you’re in a crew it will be at least four months until you’re out. Once THEY enter a crew it’s at least another four months for them. FYL: Where could we meet up? If in Beijing, it’s always with the possibility that you could be holding up some of their work or vice versa. For the friends you really get along with, it could be one or two years in between meetings. But I think that Hengdian is the place that we could see each other the most often. LYN: Right, because there’s a larger gathering of actors here.

3:27:08 FYL: Do you normally like eating spicy things? Or milder things? LYN: Milder, I guess. FYL: Can you handle spice, though? Like the really spicy kind? - stream lags :p

C: Since you’re both sitting there, why don’t you take the time to explain what you meant by “H-E.” FYL: They’re really not going to let this go.

LYN: I didn’t really want to talk about YNGS very much, because we’re afraid of saying the wrong thing. Sometimes we just try to answer questions in a joking manner. C: What were you afraid of? LYN: At the time it was- if we had told you right off the bat that everyone dies- FYL: No one would watch the drama! LYN: No one survives, we all die! Do you think people would even want to watch the drama, then? So we could only take one for the team. If you had asked us how the drama turns out, and we told you everyone died, wouldn’t you just give up right then and there? We’d have leaked the ending and destroyed the drama. LYN: But on the other hand, how ISN’T it a happy ending? Whether you’re in the “river” (pronounced “he”) that’s still an “H-E”, and in another world- a parallel universe- that’s also a happy ending. So we didn’t say anything wrong.

3:29:20 FYL: You should make Ning-ge eat more. He’s too thin. On camera his face is pretty thin, but in real life h’es really too thin. LYN: It’s not important. - some mention of working out together FYL: Is anyone eating right now, while watching us eat? LYN: It counts as eating together. Here, let us give you a toast. LYN/FYL: Happy New Year. FYL: Does watching us make your food go down faster? LYN: Probably not, because we’re not eating it in a way that makes them want it too. - /starts imitating how eat-streamers eat things (loudly and deliciously)/ FYL: Oh, ASMR.

3:30:55 - viewers salty bc of the New Year’s stage (the part where the dancers leaned their heads on Ning-ge’s shoulders) LYN: “It’s just for work.” It’s not like I could ever princess-carry him on tv. C: So you can do it in private? LYN: No~ We’re good friends. Don’t say that or else we’ll have to start avoiding each other to dispel rumors.

3:33:00 - saying (again) how this stream counts as his b-day stream bc he’ll be busy w/ work on the 8th

3:33:30 FYL: In the new drama, is ZLS still a princess? LYN: No. - her character is one that fishes for pearls? FYL: Then are there scenes by the ocean? LYN: Yeah. FYL: Where did you go to shoot those? LYN: In a water tent. FYL: It’d be nice if you went to Zhoushan. LYN: We might go to a different location, to get the desert (?). FYL: /naming potential locations/ FYL: I feel like in the recent years a lot of guzhuang dramas have gone to the northwest to shoot. - for the scenery, since there’s not much new to see around Hengdian.

3:35:15 FYL: Oh! I asked you earlier, but didn’t get the answer. Was the clothes you wore for new year’s one you borrowed from the drama? LYN: Yeah, I borrowed it. I found Fang (Sizhe)-laoshi’s group to borrow it. FYL: And they still have it? LYN: Yeah- one set is with Fang-laoshi, and the other is in Linmon’s warehouse. FYL: There are only two sets, right? LYN: Yep. FYL: I’m sure my clothes are torn beyond recognition. LYN: I’m sure they have it, though. One that’s new and one you wore for fight scenes. C: Other people can’t wear it? LYN: No- they usually don’t reuse the same clothes we wear for the drama. They keep it and maybe in a few years Fang-laoshi- FYL: !! LYN: No, not you. The wardrobe designer- Fang-laoshi. Maybe he’ll want to have an exhibit and show all the clothes he’s designed for dramas. I don’t know if that’s true, but that’s what I’m thinking. FYL: It’s possible. FYL: Also the more basic articles, I feel like they’ll wait until the drama has aired and then take those clothes and repurpose them for other clothing. FYL: But the quality/texture of the drama costumes is really much thicker than the hanfu that people can usually buy to wear. LYN: The material used to make them is probably a lot better than that used to make the clothes we’d normally buy online. Because first of all, they’re tailored, so all the materials are high quality fabrics. You’d rarely find a shop on Taobao that does the same. But I did see one- a set of tailored high-quality clothing going for 3k. Even that’s on the finer side but I’m sure that their fabrics are not as good as what was used in the drama. FYL: I’ve bought some myself before, and from the texture of the fabric- they tend to be thinner or gauze/lace-like. - discussing price and quality of clothing- including all the embroidery, beadwork, metalwork, etc. all the work and attention to detail in these pieces is in scale with the price.

3:39:05 - concert, when? wait for him to release his album first. FYL: You probably won’t have the time this year, right? I think you’re blocked up until at least July or August, right? LYN: I don’t know. I’ll have to see. I keep thinking about taking a break, like I said in the car. Even just one week would be great. FYL: Does that count as taking a break? One week??

3:40:15 LYN: Is it your first time doing a stream like this? FYL: You mean with two people? LYN: Yeah. FYL: It’s my first time. LYN: Then do you go out by yourself? FYL: I went out for my birthday. LYN: You did that? FYL: I had just gotten to Hengdian, so I was streaming myself going around. I started on the street and walked to the restaurant I wanted to eat at, but there was a long line so I went somewhere else. I just wanted to change it up from a regular birthday stream like I’ve had in the past.

3:41:17 - “give shisan more screentime” FYL: I’m here, I’m here! I’m just eating here (out of frame) and then I come back. FYL: It’s moving so fast, I can’t see what they’re saying. LYN: They just want us to eat more. Also they’re spamming “Blooming (Yi Nian Hua Kai)”, what’s that about? FYL: Yi Nian Guan Shan!! LYN: How did Blooming go? When did you film that? FYL: Before YNGS. … Was it? It was the one before the one before YNGS. LYN: I think you were shooting a modern drama before YNGS. FYL: /confirms/

3:42:48 -LYN breaking his dish into smaller parts FYL: ? You eat such small bites? LYN: No, I’m getting full. But maybe if I look like I’m not eating that much of it I won’t have to pay the bill. LOL. LYN: I actually really like this dish, but pretend that I don’t like it so that he would not have the heart to make me pay for the meal. FYL: :O! LYN: Like, “Oh, you didn’t eat much so I’ll get the bill.” FYL: WOW! Such a dirty trick!! FYL: When we’re done eating we’re both going to sit here like this: /arms crossed, waiting for the other/ LYN: Pretend to look at our watch, take a phone call… XD FYL: It’s a little spicy. LYN: Yes, there’s some pepper in here. /picking at his food/ FYL: /looking at how little LYN is eating/ You’re eating so little I feel like this is making me look like a pig. LYN: No, no. I’m eating everything! I ate a lot. C: What were you doing before in the State of An? LYN: I had a jewelry shop. FYL: Really? LYN: /boldfaced lie/ Yeah. Or what did they say I was? FYL: Weren’t you.. a businessman? LYN: A paramour? FYL: Yeah. LYN: I wasn’t! - LYN: We acted it one way, and how you want to interpret it is whatever you want. There’s actually no fixed answer. LYN: You must not have watched the drama closely. Wasn’t there a scene where they asked me if I was a paramour, and I said, “Do you think I’m worthy, with this appearance?” FYL: That’s called “retreating in order to advance.” (make concessions to gain advantages)LYN: Use some truth to cover lies. FYL: !! Wait a minute! I almost fell for it!!

3:46:33 - it’s a set course, so the same amount no matter how many people you have in your party. they’ll bring the leftovers back for their staff to eat. LYN: We were originally planning on having our two groups meet and have a meal altogether, but then we figured we would use the time we were eating to chat with you, since we probably wouldn’t get to while we were walking around. LYN: I don’t know if you like what we’ve done today… FYL: The original plan wasn’t like this! There were some unexpected changes of plan. LYN: But sometimes he’ll hang out in his room and chat with you, and normally I’m in my room chatting with you. So today is a special occurrence. This way two good friends- truly good friends- could hang out together and we can back each other up. It’s a more natural and slice-of-life stream. - thinking about doing some more fun streams in the future (FYL: Boxing?) LYN: One of the things we were thinking of was streaming ourselves in an escape room. But most of them- FYL: It’s too dark! LYN: Yes, first of all it’s too dark. You wouldn’t be able to see anything. Secondly, most escape rooms don’t let you record video.

3:49:24 - oopsie! (FYL: Maybe it was thinking you needed a new phone.) FYL: We has a lot of ideas, like go-karting. But it would be hard to hold the camera. LYN: I went karting with HZT once, but I watched the playback and- FYL: How did you film it? LYN: There was a third person- FYL: Outside the track! LYN: Yes. But I don’t think the viewers felt very included, that way. FYL: Yeah, they want to see the gopro aimed at your face- LYN: All of the chin jiggling. XD C: Horse riding. LYN: /nah fam/ LYN: Honestly, even when we’re shooting horse scenes in the dramas there are always setbacks. FYL: Right. It could be pretty dangerous. LYN: The danger is a given, since it’s all part of the job. But the horses in Hengdian aren’t… putting it bluntly, aren’t very good horses. They’re not any prized breed or like the horses you would see at a ranch. They work very hard- not like horses on a ranch that get fed well and washed and have mild personalities. Think about it- we film for hours on end and the horses are right there with us. They’re being pushed around, not getting to drink water- FYL: Hot in the summer and cold in the winter, and no one can help it cool down or put on any layers. LYN: So these horses work very hard and have developed pretty explosive personalities because of it. It’s a little dangerous. FYL: If you know how to ride a horse, you’ll know that the horse will mostly listen to your direction. But have you met a horse where, the director is counting down- three, two, one- and before you can do anything the horse is already moving on its own? LYN: They understand the directives. LYN: So when I have to do a scene including a horse I always feel apprehensive. FYL: He prepares so many carrots! - every time LYN finishes shooting a scene on horseback (with all the different cuts and camera angles) he’s happy to be alive, lol. LYN: So I’m not really interested in your idea of going to a ranch to ride horses. :\

3:53:20 - other ideas: gym/workout stream. it was a thought but LYN says he would go 10 minutes then be unable to do anything else. XD but the competitive spirit would make them keep going. - FYL has a weight-set he has to put together FYL: If you don’t think it’s heay enough I can go buy more weights. LYN: No, you don’t have to. I think you have 25-50kg already, right? FYL: I think it’s 100kg on each side. LYN: I’m definitely not pushing 100kg, don’t worry. I don’t think I ever will in my life. FYL: You can by the time this drama wraps. LYN: I’d be happy if I could push 40.

3:54:57 C: Swimming stream. LYN: We didn’t even let you see the mermaid show, you think you’d get a chance to see us two Hai’er Brothers?? Don’t say you want to see a swimming stream, and just tell me directly that you want to see the Hai’er Brothers. The next streaming topic will be: Hai’er Brothers. The two of us will be bare-hested and wearing speedos, sitting by the beach? It’s really not worth it. - C: Beach Stream LYN: That could be doable. LYN: But I just can’t stand… having nothing to do. I’m talking about in the stream. Let’s say we set the phone by the sea, and then what? What do the viewers do? Just look at the water? If we do stream I just want to do something that could create good content. The aquarium today was good, because they could at least see something other than our faces. - - more ideas: LYN cooking stream, where he starts from buying the ingredients, prepping and cooking, then calling his friends over to eat it. FYL: Can I add something? How about YOU don’t buy any ingredients. You just use what your friends bring to you. They might bring you something out of the ordinary. LYN: The only problem is that most of my friends probably wouldn’t have time. I’m telling you, today’s stream was and act of heavens and stars aligning. How often is it that we both have some time off at the same time? FYL: I’m okay, but you on the other hand…

3:57:26 - comments spamming “abs!”, LYN calling them spoiled XD 3:58:35 - idea: LEGO stream (it’d just be a camera and the sound of blocks being put together) 3:59:00 - idea: waterclor painting stream (LYN: I’d just be wasting the paints. XD) 4:00:00 - idea: camping stream

LYN: Today was pretty fulfilling and I was happy to be able to come out and wander around. Truly a day I could do nothing- I didn’t have to think about work at all. FYL: Chill. LYN: What else do you want to chat about? We’ll talk some more and then wrap it up. C: Log off when you hit 50 million viewers. LYN: That seems a little far off.

4:01:42 - chatting about spending their new year holiday with the drama crew C: Will you two collaborate again? LYN: We would have had one… but actually we always bump into each other. FYL: I think it will depend on the project… LYN: Right. There’s no need to forcefully work together. That’s something actors fear- being forced to work together, you know? The script will always take precedence, since friends can always be made. Yuo can hang out with friends all the time, but for work it’s better to choose something you like.

4:02:50 C: Compare heights. FYL: Why would you- You want me to humiliate myself? Why should I? C: Daimi, Daimi! FYL: … ! Have you shown them how Daimi can peel the sausage herself?? LYN: They know. FYL: Wow. That’s too amazing. I’ve really never heard of a dog being able to do that.

4:03:43 C: Six Realms Hall Prequel?? LYN: I mentioned that because I was watching the drama along with all of you. At the end I felt… that we all died pretty miserably and it felt unfair. Qian Zhao, Sun Lang, Yuan Lu- it was a grievance. I didn’t want to let them go. So I wanted to ask them- why don’t we arrange our own project? We can shoot a Six Realms Hall Prequel. We could grab a DSLR and shoot it ourselves. If we don’t have enough funds, we could use our phones to record as well. We’d edit, cut, and put it all together before selling it to the platform and making some profit. X’D LYN: No, but seriously. I didn’t want to let it go, so I was thinking IF we had the chance to film a Prequel, how great would that be?? But as for how that idea is developing, I can’t say at this moment. C: You can do it. We’ll invest. LYN: Stop messing around, jiejie~ You make it seem like any project I mention in my stream, you’ll invest in. That’s terrifying. FYL: They want to be your boss. - FYL mentions wanting to see Xiao Chuan in this version LYN: A drama isn’t something that can be crowdfunded like this. It requires a lot in investment- at least 1B to START. I don’t think it’s worth it to crowdfund 1B… LYN: But we’re just saying nonsense- gossiping. Don’t take us seriously.

4:06:35 - there’s abosultuely no way they’re streaming until midnight LYN: We’re pretty much at our limits, today. Our brains are starting to lag. - LYN leaves to use the restroom

FYL: Step-In Streamer Xiao Fang is here. C: I’ve been watching for four hours. You’ve worked hard. FYL: It wasn’t as hard for me as it was for you. - C: The tea is too light. FYL: It’s not… It’s not that I don’t want to let him drink it (give him more leaves), either. I really bought this yesterday , so I felt like if we didn’t drink it, it would go to waste. Since I don’t usually make tea for myself. Since I bought it we should at least try it, right? - C: There’s no birthday cake? FYL: I’ll get him a cake on his actual birthday. - - talking about needing to start maintaining his healthy becuase he’s getting older XD - C: Sing a song. FYL: Don’t let me make a fool of myself. - C: What drama are you currently shooting? FYL: Guess! You’ll know if you look it up online. - C: Ning-ge makes pies in the sky. FYL: What artist nowadays doesn’t?

4:09:04 - switching out FYL: We drank the whole pot of tea! LYN: That’s great, so you didn’t buy it for nothing. But that means that we’re full because we drank so much tea. 4:09:25 - planning on doing a variety show this year since he didn’t have one at all last year (soon to be filming, not a music related one) LYN: I want to do a variety show so that I can rest my brain. LYN: Music varieties are doable, but I don’t think I have enough experience. Because you have to prepare a lot- like arrangements, or think of the song and how you want to change it, get involved in the whole production of it, and I just think it would take up too much brain power. I’ll probably still be shooting the drama at the same time, so I might do a more physical/experiential-type variety show. Like going somewhere to play or sharing an experience. 4:11:00 FYL: Do you think variety shows or dramas makes you more tired? LYN: Dramas… variety shows. You’re a lot more steaday/stable with dramas, because all the time is spent in the drama and you don’t have to think of anything outside of it. On the other had variety hshows are more REALITY shows. The cameras are on ALL THE TIME and you have to remember that and keep your wits. In a variety show, your value is in what you can bring to the table- whether that’s being funny, being smart, or active. You’re constantly on the edge.

4:11:47 - talking about LYN’s manager staff: NiuNiu (from Shanghai) and GeGe (from Hangzhou); and how he really only has a small team whose only worry is to keeping him alive and well (and working). LYN has no resources, despite what rumors say (that he’s the Devil King of the Entertainment Industry). LYN: I don’t want to reply to a lot of things, even about YNGS, because I don’t WANT to respond. I just think it’s laughable. As someone on the inside, the things that are said about me look strange. A lot of the time I don’t feel the need to respond because people inside the industry all already know what’s going on. I don’t need to make it a point to explain everything.

4:14:00 LYN: The most unusual rumor I’ve heard is that YNGS has yin-yang scripts. There’s no way- us for example, in the same drama- would have two different scripts. There’s no way that can happen, because we need to rehearse the scenes. If even one line or scene is different, we would know immediately. We all have the same script. There are no yin-yang versions. No way. We’re not idiots, either. If he’s holding his script and I just take a look at it- I would know if it were different from mine! It’s just strange. I don’t even know how such a rumor could get so blown out of proportion. For example, we’re sitting here eating this meal and you tell me there are two versions of the food. ??? It’s all laid out in front of us- it’s all the same food.

- [t/n: that dessert looks tasty *Q*]

4:15:30 LYN: ! I have a song called “Fall in Love” right?? FYL: I saw that!! LYN: He saw it the other day and forwarded it to me. It goes “We want Fang Yilun, Fang Yilun at this moment~” (Let us Fall in Love, Fall in Love, at this moment) FYL: I opened weibo and there were all these notifications of people @-ing me, so I followed the link to see why and sure enough. I forwarded the video to him with the comment, “I know you like me, but you don’t have to say it out loud.”

- FYL recalling how he was shooting a VLOG once and then heard Ning-ge’s song (by recognizing his voice)- Magical Surprise LYN: We were even planning on going to Disney today! FYL: It’s a little far though, right? LYN: It’s not that it’s far, but more that they don’t allow people to livestream (because of copyright issues). You COULD go, but you have to write out a whole itinerary first. Then the plans have to go through multiple levels of clearance, because safety is most important. You could go to play, you just can’t stream it.

4:17:00 - will stop streaming when it hits 50M viewers. Subscribe to their weibos if you haven’t already. LYN: We’re both just small actors, who hope to bring roles that we like to life for you. We hope you like them and can continue to support us. FYL: If you want to hear us sing, we’re actually both singers as well. If you want to see us dance, then I’m sorry there’s nothing we can do. LYN: Isn’t your dancing pretty decent, though? FYL: No~ Remember I tried to get you to dance with me? LYN: We can try! LYN: When we were shooting YNGS, he had run this by me. That we could sing a song with some basic choreography together. We could have a good time with everybody. But then we never found a suitable song.

4:18:20 LYN: I think the day’s been pretty fulfilling. We streamed for 4+ hours, had a good time and- thanks to our friends’ support- had some trending topics. It was a meaningful stream, and I also got treated to a meal at the end of it. FYL: !! You’re saying that so early. It’s still unclear who’s paying for all this or not. LYN: I have something to do later, so I’ll leave first. You can pack all this up. (joking) FYL: I don’t know if everyone enjoyed watching? Or maybe you were bored? But in any case the two of us had a relaxing time. But if you can still enjoy a stream like this, maybe next time we can arrange another one if time allows. LYN: Yeah- it doesn’t need to be because of a birthday. We could discover something fun and want to share with you. I know many of you are working or going to school and you can’t afford to travel and look around (so we’ll take you with us). It’s just like chatting with friends, only on a huge platform like weibo where we can’t be too relaxed and need to watch what we say, a little bit. If we’re too relaxed then people can easily find something to use against us, and then we’ll be cursed at again. Please, spare us.

4:20:10 FYL: You can’t see the number (of viewers) from here, can you? LYN: I can. FYL: Wow, then your eyesight is better than mine!! LYN: I can see them typing clearly, too. FYL: You must not have watched a lot of tv when you were little. LYN: Right, I didn’t watch any.

C: I like your string of beads. LYN: Don’t even think about it. If you like them, go buy your own. I won’t be giving these to you. FYL: When it hits 50M, I’ll make the decision for you and pick a random fan to win the beads. XD FYL: Kidding! I’m kidding!

4:21:00 - people telling him happy b-day in advance~ LYN: Thank you! FYL also came to help me celebrate. Today is the 6th, and the 8th is my birthday. But I won’t be streaming on the 8th; I think I’ll have a lot to shoot. So I’ll thank you in advance, as well. LYN: At times like this, shouldn’t the door open and a cake get rolled in? I can’t believe there’s no cake surprise! Normally, we would be chatting and then all of a sudden- (a cake comes)- and I should say, “Ohh! I’m so touched!” and then cry, then make a wish in front of all of you, then blow out the candles. “Thank you all for keeping me company!” That’s what I should be doing, but I guess not. FYL: We can go to the convenience store and buy a bread and stick a lighter in it.

4:22:27 LYN: Today was quite nice. I know a lot of my friends are from Hangzhou- I’m sure I have fans here- and you didn’t all come find me, so I’m very thankful. Thank you. FYL: And then you find out they’re waiting to ambush you in Hengdian. LYN: No, no. They wouldn’t do that. They’re very good. FYL: “I couldn’t find you in Hangzhou, but in Hengdian I will never let you off the hook.”4:23:20 C: How about you sing a song? LYN: Come one, let’s sing. You sing something. FYL: What should I sing? LYN: Whatever you want to. Otherwise you bought the 800RMB knockoff speaker for nothing. You have to make the most of it. Sing something worth at least 800. FYL: What should we sing…? What do YOU want to sing? LYN: Something worth 800. I don’t know, anything’s fine. C: 走天涯 FYL: How does that song go? LYN: /sings/ No, not this one. Let’s change. You can choose. Whatever you want. LYN: He likes to sing. Sincerely someone who loves music. FYL: I really can’t think of anything. You pick one. LYN: You can’t think of ANYTHING? Then how about 奉上? FYL: Okay! 奉上, it is! LYN: We’ll use this song as today’s ending. - LYN: Singing in a restaurant, I’m so happy. It’s like we drank too much. FYL: We got drunk on tea. LYN: Self-brought tea will do that to you. - the first notes of the song start playing FYL: I feel like I can’t hold on anymore, I’m about to go (die)! LYN: Why? Oh- because once you hear this music you’re putting on the blindfold. FYL: It’s sending me off! - FYL: I need to sing it properly. LYN: No, it’s okay. We can’t let too loose. Otherwise the other room is gonna think there are lunatics in here. - ♫♪ FYL: The lyrics to this song are really hard!

LYN: We want to thank everyone for their support and their company. I’m happy to be able to spend four and a half hours with you. I hope you had a relaxing, happy, and wonderful night. It was great to have you and I hope your whole month goes splendidly. I’ll see you again in the next stream! Goodnight, everyone. Bye bye! FYL: Happy New Year, everyone! And Happy Birthday to Ning-ge! LYN: Thank you. LYN/FYL: Goodnight everyone! Bye bye!

#Liu Yuning #Fang Yilun #lyn livestream #(4:28:59)#ft.#Wang Yizhe #highlights:#a walk around west lake #car rides #aquarium date!#& a fancy dinner #[this is... long]#[sorry- i cnt control myself]#[not proofread (ever) so pls overlook mistakes]

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tideswept · 3 months

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15 questions for 15 friends

I was tagged by a few people, so~here we go!

1. Are you named after anyone?

Kinda! I was supposed to be born a boy, and absolutely nothing was prepared for me when I turned out to be female. And mom went "I like my sister's name" and named me that. (This caused a lot of drama.) So I wasn't named after her per se but....

I ... I was almost a Peter.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Few weeks ago.

3. Do you have kids?

4. What sports do you play/ have you played?

None tbh other than what I was forced to in school. Oh. OH WAIT SWIMMING IS A SPORT. Okay. Yeah. I did a lot of that. I just, uh, never view it that way?

5. Do you use sarcasm?

... having a small crisis upon the realization that I rarely do these days. god what happened to me I was such a sarcastic little demon I'm all EARNEST now

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Hair. Weird thing, right? Mostly because I'm always impressed by how people can keep their hair tamed. (me, with curly hair: [despair]) Followed quickly by body language.

7. What's your eye colour?

Brown! I'm told it looks green up close but ehhhh. (doubt)

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movies! Or, you know, scary movies with (relative) happy endings are also good!

9. Any talents?

I have a knack for detecting accents/identifying languages and having a general, if not specific, idea of where people are from. I also have a scarily good aim. (though my form is atrocious and under no circumstances should ever be mimicked)

I'm also a pretty decent cook! Bit hit or miss as a baker, though.

10. Where were you born?

Venezuela!

11. What are your hobbies?

Writing, gaming, reading, cooking, being a lil' nerdy about Disney comics and Disney history overall. Obsessively analyzing data.

12. Do you have any pets?

I point you upwards! Big one is Jupiter (ASH) and the small one is Saturn (Russian Blue). Both of them are about 13 years old.

13. How tall are you?

5'2... and a half. (It counts!) [158cm]

14. Favourite subject in school?

English, since it gave me an excuse to read and tune out everything else lmao. (I was often bullied, or, I guess, attempted, once I got into a book you could scream in my ear and I was full Helen Keller. Who? What? Don't care.) ♥ Depending on the teacher, I also really liked history and science! Basically, as long as I don't have to do math and the teacher wasn't a bitter monster, I enjoyed the subject.

15. Dream job?

Ethnologist! Oh my god, I'd be so delighted to get to nerd out like that! ♥ With the rise of various internet cultures I think, more than ever, we could really use more of them around. It's such an interesting thing to do to be able to delve in order to contrast and compare, to find links and reasons for variances, commonalities, schisms--all of them. There's so much data available online, and it paints such a colorful, and sometimes tragic, implications that extend far into our burgeoning global identity and--

I'll shush. 👀

Tagging: @scatteredheroes @irrationalsense @dark--whisperings @aigoos @gretchenzellerbarnes @qed23 @mollysunder @mari-lwyd-fannibal-blog @skyerie @minimal23 @ellelans @mutteringretreats1 and anyone who hasn't yet gotten tagged/wants to do it!

#berry.txt #behold the power of #friendship!

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eddiemunsons80sbaby · 10 months

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Nobody's Fool: Chapter 17

Pairing: EddieXReader

Summary: You have bartended for years after you were forced to drop out of college due to family circumstances. You have dated your fair share of musicians, had your heart broken by one particular one, and have learned they are not be trusted. You have sworn off of them for the rest of your life. Then, one night, a new band plays at the bar, and against your better judgement, you can't help noticing the lead singer and guitar player. Could he possibly be different from the ones who came before him?

Warnings: 18+ Only due to eventual smut and language. There is also a toxic family relationship with a narcissistic mother if that is triggering for you.

MasterList

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28

You had been working hard to avoid Sebastian for the last few hours. He kept lingering, popping up unpleasantly like a bill collector you’ve been avoiding for days. He was relentless, sending lude sexual comments your way or taking another shot at trying to remind you about how good you were together. Yeah, so good together that he had to find other people to fulfill his sexual needs. You were not falling for his shit again. He’d made you look like an idiot once and that was more than enough. You would walk past him, ignoring him, heading to a table or back behind the bar or into the storeroom, anything to get as far from him as possible.

You had even gone so far as to send the blonde from earlier after him, hoping he would lose interest in you at the prospect of an easy lay he didn’t have to work that hard for. It worked for about fifteen minutes before he was back to lurking around, watching you. It was infuriating, trying to work as he just followed with his eyes, waiting for a chance to ambush you again.

You weren't sure how you would have responded if Sebastian had walked in here a couple months ago. Would you have tried to give him a second chance? You hoped not. But now? You knew all too well what a good guy actually looked like. Eddie was a good guy, and while you were still terrified of your feelings, of putting yourself out there again, you weren't willing to risk whatever it was you had with Eddie for this guy that you knew was a piece of shit.

This thing with Eddie scared the hell out of you because you knew you were diving right off the side of the cliff with no parachute. You were heading straight for the ground at a rapid pace, about to shatter every bone in your body in a painful crash. How long would it take for him to get bored of you? How long until he looked around and realized he could do so much better than you? How long before he realized you just weren't worth all of the effort?

“You want me to punch him for you?” Joey asked, breaking through your thoughts.

“No,” you sighed. “Really? You’re going to try to take him on? I love you Joey, but he’s got like six inches on you. I don’t need you getting hurt.”

Sebastian was no joke. He stood at six foot two, another trait that lended itself to him resembling a Greek God. He was muscular, not in a bulky bodybuilder way, but in a lean, toned kind of way. You had seen him in fights before when he was drunk and somebody was running their mouth, and you had never seen him lose one.

“I think I could take him,” Joey countered, sounding a bit hurt at your lack of faith in him.

“Maybe you could,” you agreed, “but it wouldn’t help anything and it would only create a problem for John. I don’t need you to lose your job for me. I just need to get through the next ten minutes so he can go away.”

The bar was closing down. Last call was twenty minutes ago. The patrons were slowly making their way out, the lack of drinks ending their fun for the night. You began wiping down the tables and stacking chairs, your body relaxing, every muscle loosening, now that you had made it. Sebastian would be heading out with his band and out of your eyesight. Hopefully out of your life for good this time.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed yours, spinning you around. Two arms crushed you against a rock hard body as lips you knew intimately found yours. Shock coursed through you at the sudden intrusion to your mind and body. You tried to bring your hands up to push him away from you, but his strong arms were pinning yours down at your sides.

Out of nowhere, the body holding yours was suddenly yanked away. You opened your eyes, just in time to see Eddie’s fist connecting with Sebastian’s jaw. Sebastian staggered back, surprise registering on his face at the attack. He stared at Eddie in fury and then launched himself, grabbing Eddie around the waist and tackling him to the ground.

“Shit!” John yelled as he came running over. “Guys, knock it off!”

You shook the shock off and ran forward, trying to help John pull them apart. You reached out but a flailing hand connected with your eye and you shrieked, falling back to the ground. Joey leapt over the bar, running to your side to see if you were okay.

“I’m fine, just…goddamn it!” you screamed.

A couple of the guys from the plant, big guys, grabbed Eddie and Sebastian in bear hugs, lifting them away from each other. Both of them looked insane, their eyes wild with rage, their hair looking like they had stuck their fingers in electrical sockets.

“You boys need to calm down!” John yelled. “I’m not going to have brawls in my bar. You want to keep this up, then you take it outside.”

“Gladly,” Eddie growled.

“Anytime,” Sebastian hissed.

“Fuck, both of you knock it off!” you yelled, getting back to your feet, still holding your eye.

Eddie glanced at you, suddenly realizing that you were hurt, eyes that had been dark with rage softening in concern. “Shit, are you okay?”

“I’m fine!” you shrieked. “Jesus, what the hell is wrong with you?”

“You were kissing him!” he yelled.

“I was not kissing him! He was kissing me!” you yelled back.

“Ahh…so this is who you got to replace me?” Sebastian sneered. “Really, dollface? This Eddie Van Halen knockoff? You’ve got to be kidding.”

“Who the hell are you?” Eddie demanded.

“He’s my ex,” you explained quietly.

“Your ex?” he questioned, understanding registering on his face.

“Yeah,” Sebastian smirked, moving to you and slinging his arm around your shoulder. “Feeling nervous? I sure would be if I were my competition.”

“Shut up,” you shouted, shoving his arm away from you. “Seriously, get your fucking ego in check. Sebastian, just get the hell out of here.”

“You don’t mean that,” he argued, attempting his pouty lip again and you wanted to punch him this time. “Come on. You can’t be serious about choosing this dirtbag over me.”

“Dirtbag!?” Eddie yelled. “I’m guessing you’re the dick that is the reason she…”

“Jesus Christ! Everyone just shut up!” you yelled, desperate to stop Eddie from saying whatever it was that he was going to say. “Sebastian, seriously, just get the fuck out of here!”

Sebastian tried to argue but John stepped in, telling him he needed to leave before the cops were called. He complained, grumbling the entire way out about how he was the one who had been attacked. You felt relief flood through your body when the door closed and he was finally gone.

“Sweetheart, you know I love you, and I’m sorry I may have initiated all of this by allowing him to play,” John said, “but you need to get your boyfriends in check. I can’t have this shit in my bar.”

“Yeah, I know,” you sighed, pressing your fingers against your forehead, a throb working its way from your eye to the back.

“You okay?” Joey asked.

“I’ll be fine,” you insisted, placing your hand on his arm. “Thank you. Do you think you could give me a ride home?”

“Of course.”

“Whoa,” Eddie interjected. “I thought I was giving you a ride home.”

“That was before you acted like a giant brute and came in here swinging!” you yelled.

“Seriously?” he argued. “I walked in here and saw some blonde titan making out with you in the middle of the bar. What exactly was I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know,” you said, “maybe take a moment to assess the situation before fists start flying!”

“Assess the situation? I did assess the situation and I assessed that my girlfriend was kissing another dude! Forgive me for getting upset.”

“Girlfriend?” you asked in shock. Your brain was struggling to process that word. “Since when did we decide I was your girlfriend? I don’t remember that conversation! And I wasn’t kissing him! He grabbed me and kissed me!”

“I assumed you were my girlfriend. We’ve been seeing each other for a month. I didn’t know we had to officially state it,” Eddie explained. “And that’s all the more reason he deserved to be punched!”

“I can handle myself,” you seethed, glaring at him. “I’ve been handling him all night!”

“Oh, have you?” Eddie asked, his tone cold.

“Jesus, that’s nice,” you muttered. “I was avoiding him all night because I’m with you! I told him to go away. I told him to leave me alone. If you would have waited five goddamn seconds, you would have seen me bite his goddamn lip until it bled and tell him to fuck off. He cheated on me. He broke my heart. I am not interested in going down that road with him again.”

“Well, how was I supposed to know? You never want to tell me anything!” Eddie yelled. “I only know what I know about you because you’ve been forced to share. Trying to get to know you is like trying to invade fucking Mordor! Every time I get close, an army attacks and puts up new goddamn defenses and I have to find a whole different strategy! It’s, quite honestly, fucking exhausting.”

You paused, his words twisting something deep inside of you. “Well, if I’m so exhausting, then I’ll be more than happy to give you a break.”

“Whoa! Whoa! That’s not what I mean,” he said quickly, his tone taking on an edge of panic. “I don’t want a break. Look, this situation got out of control. Will you please just come with me back to my place so we can talk?”

You glanced from Eddie to Joey who had been watching your back and forth with rapt attention. His eyes were wide as he looked at you.

“I can take you home if you want,” he offered.

You were so damn tired. This might go down as the longest night of your entire life. You weren't sure you had it in you to have some long conversation with Eddie. You also knew he wasn’t wrong. You did your best to still keep him at arm’s length whenever you could because as much as you liked him, you couldn’t stop that little fear that he was going to decide you weren't good enough one day. Maybe you owed it to him.

“It’s fine,” you sighed. “I’ll go with Eddie.” Eddie’s face lit up. “But I’m telling you, I am exhausted and my eye hurts and I don’t have the energy to fight it out. Can we please just go back to your place and sleep and talk in the morning?”

“Whatever you want,” he said with a smile, walking over to you. His hand grabbed your hips, pulling you against him. “Can I at least hold you?”

You rolled your eyes, secretly pleased but not wanting to show it.

“You’re hopeless,” you muttered softly, shaking your head.

_____________________________________________________________

The next morning, you and Eddie sat in his backyard with cups of coffee. He had stuck to his word. When they got to his place, he had gotten you some ice for your eye. You had helped him clean up a cut over his eyebrow and one above his lip. Then you had gone to bed, him holding you close, and you had slept like a damn baby wrapped in his arms.

Now, you sat in two lawn chairs, you in a pair of his sweats and a Radiohead tee that he had let you borrow, him in his boxers and a Metallica tee. He looked so goddamn adorable when he woke up, his hair all over the place, his eyes heavy with sleep still. He had a bruise on his cheek and his lip was slightly puffy, but it didn’t detract from how gorgeous he was. You had quite a shiner this morning, which he had apologized for over and over, but you weren't even certain who had hit you. Nobody had meant to.

“So, you want to tell me about him?” he asked, leaning forward in his chair, cupping his mug in his hands.

No, you really didn’t. You didn’t want to relive it at all, let alone share it with him. You had been an idiot, and you didn’t want Eddie to know how you had allowed Sebastian to make a fool out of you. But you knew you owed him an explanation after last night.

“He was my boyfriend,” you shrugged. “We dated for about nine months. I thought he loved me. I was clearly wrong. He cheated on me with some chick. I walked in on them and we broke up.”

“Okay, well that was a very short summary,” Eddie sighed, leaning back.

“I mean, what do you want me to say?” you asked with a shrug. “He tricked me. I allowed it. I was an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot,” Eddie stated. “Look, we’ve all trusted the wrong people. It’s easy to do when you’re in love with somebody. We get blinded by our feelings for them and we miss all of the signs that something’s not right. We assume the best about them when they don’t deserve it. That doesn’t make you an idiot. Shit, that just makes you human, princess.”

“I guess,” you muttered, hugging your knees into your chest, your chin resting on top. “I was so in love with him. I mean, I thought he was it for me. I pictured our future together. He was my everything, and then I walked in and he was pile driving some redhead on the bed he and I shared. He told me he loved me and he only wanted a relationship with me but that he needed variety when it came to sex. He wanted me to understand that. He might sleep around but he would always come home to me.”

“Well, that’s bullshit,” Eddie grumbled. “What the hell kind of relationship is that?”

“That’s what I thought. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t walk around, knowing he could be screwing any random girl at any time. Maybe I’m a prude or something, I don’t know, but I don’t want to share my guy with others.”

“You’re not a prude. When two people truly love each other, that should be enough.”

“Maybe, I don’t know,” you sighed.

“Do…do you still love him?” Eddie asked, his voice hesitant, possibly even a little nervous.

“I did for a long time,” you softly mumbled. “I was a mess for weeks after I found him with that girl. If it weren’t for Jen, I probably would have lost my job. She kicked me in the ass and refused to let me wallow for too long. John was amazing. I hadn’t shown up to work for a week, but he knew what had happened. I came in and he never said a word about it, just let me continue with my shift.”

You took a sip of coffee, allowing the warmth to seep into you, calming your nerves. You didn’t like talking about this with him. Being this open felt dangerous. It felt like walking into shark infested waters just hoping they wouldn’t notice you had an openly bleeding wound.

“I did love him, but I don’t anymore,” you finally told him. “It took a long time to move on, but when I saw him last night, all I felt was disgust.”

Eddie looked pleased but like he was trying to hide it. He reached his hand out, taking yours and guided you over to his lap. You sat down and he wound his arms around you, his chin resting on your shoulder.

“Good,” he whispered, “because there appeared to be some confusion last night that I really think we should clear up. So, I thought maybe I should officially ask so we both know where we stand. I don’t want to see other people, and I am hoping you don’t either. So, will you be my girlfriend?”

You laughed, “I know what I said last night but that sounds like such a silly question at our age.”

“Maybe it is, but will you?” he asked, those beautiful doe eyes gazing up into yours.

“Yeah,” you smiled, kissing him. “I think I can do that.”

“Excellent,” he grinned, his lips finding yours again.

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stylessatellite · 1 year

Text

Tech on Tour: Welcome to Tour

Feeling the bass of Sarah’s drums in your bones made you feel alive and judging by Harry’s face when he walked off stage he felt it too.

He met your eyes first thing and grinned.

You grinned back.

If this was how the rest of the tour was going to go, you couldn’t wait.

A/N: Welcome to the first official post for the Tech on Tour series!! Feel free to like and/ or reblog. Happy reading <3

Warnings: None that I can think of besides shitty writing lol.

To say you were nervous was an understatement. The first official day on the job is nerve wracking enough, but having your first day be opening night for the Harry Styles's opening show of his first solo tour. You were about to pass out.

9 months ago you were mourning the loss of One Direction.

7 months ago you along with the rest of the world were eagerly awaiting for Harry Styles debut album to drop.

5 months ago you received an email from Jeff asking if you would be willing to join Harry on tour.

You didn’t think it was real art first. Maybe a scam or something. Turns out it wasn’t. Apparently Jeff was asking around for good techs, and your boss had recommended you. After freaking out with your roommate, you eagerly responded with yes and a few phone calls later you were all set to start packing and jet off to California for tour rehearsals.

“10 minutes to show”

You start gathering your stuff and head closer to the stager to do a last minute check in with the band. Heading towards them you make sure everyone's mic packs are attached securely and their in-ears are in place along with some nerve soothing as well on everyone’s parts.

“5 minutes to show. Band stand by to enter”

Finishing up your conversation with Sarah, you head over to where Harry's hanging out with Jeff in the corner. The former seems more nervous than before, especially now that show time is a lot closer. You just manage to catch the tail end of his and Jeff's conversation

Looking significantly paler, you hand Harry his mic pack and in-ears and help him put them on.

“Hey look at me,” you say, “you have nothing to be worried about. You hear all of those screams? They’re all for you. You don't have to freak out and think that all of your fans were there for the rest of the boys. THEY. ARE. HERE. FOR. YOU. Now get out there and do the same thing you’ve been doing for the past 7 years.

“Thank you” he says, and you can barely hear him over the increasing screams and the faint intro of Only Angel.

“You know you’re kinda good at this pep talk thing.” Jeff comments.

“Well, it was an altered version of the one I give myself.” you reply shrugging, “Besides it gives you a reason to keep me around should he fail tonight.”

“Speaking of which, aren't you supposed to be making sure he doesn't fail tonight?”

“Oh I’m on instruments tonight, so I have some time.”

Actually meeting Harry and the rest of the band wasn’t as nerve wracking as you had anticipated. Sure Mitch kept turning around to look at Sarah and getting caught in wires, but you thought it was cute so you didn’t care. You had a feeling Harry kept messing up just so Mitch would have another excuse to look at Sarah.

One thing you didn’t anticipate was taking that time to look at Harry. With you being designated with mostly his instruments and mic packs you spent a lot of time with him.

Like A Lot.

More so than was probably acceptable for someone that was just a techie. Getting to know Harry was probably your favourite thing so far and you didn't want to mess that up and you had a feeling he didn’t either.

Feeling the bass of Sarah’s drums in your bones made you feel alive and judging by Harry’s face when he walked off stage he felt it too.

He met your eyes first thing and grinned.

You grinned back.

If this was how the rest of the tour was going to go, you couldn’t wait.

#harry styles #harry styles au #harry styles blurb #harry styles imagine #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fake instagram #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles fake social media #harry styles fanfiction #tech on tour

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