#life has been so stressful everyone i love is dying or getting old it's making me existential!!

[stinkrascal]

good morning my friends the people in my phone. things were crazy for a while but theyre no longer crazy yayyyyyy we are so back

me waking up bright and early at 11:30am

#its storming outside today... zzzzzz.... i hope that means me and bf dont have to go grocery shopping yayyyyyy #tw im about to get personal dont read this if u dont wanna know a lot about meeeeeee but anyways #family was in the hospital and it looked very grim for a while #but luckily he's pulled thru and doing better now. that's why me and bf were gone all weekend #life has been so stressful everyone i love is dying or getting old it's making me existential!! #death is around the corner for us all. that's why i must play on my computer for 16 hours a day #anywayssssssss bye i gotta retake one screenshot ily mwah ❤

[asynca]

I hope this question isn't too random. One thing I noticed is people are for some reason are acting like the pandemic is over and just return to normal and no masks. Even though it is still going on and still effects so many people. Why do you think they think its over?

This is probably quite a deep psychological question about the capacity of people to tolerate fear and stress over a long period of time. I could probably answer it in a more professional way than I'm going to.

Several of my friends are doctors. The research that's coming out about how it's likely to shorten the lives of literally everyone who gets it (especially multiple times), about how if we continue to let it rip a huge percentage of the population (20-30%) will end up measurably disabled in some way by it by 2035 is like... this is serious. This is not a 'flu'. We are also discovering several cancers or other disabling conditions are caused by viruses - I worry a lot about the capacity of COVID to ruin lives. It also has a general effect on the brain that causes lower capacity, less ability to regulate emotions and causes aggression. New mental illness is a common long covid symptom.

I do what I can to avoid it. I still wear a n95 mask out in public. I make my wife do it too, even though we are usually the only two people out wearing masks. I don't take my children indoors anywhere public - we go to parks and playgrounds. My daughter has been in a supermarket just once in her life. Is that good for her? Probably not. But it's a darn sight better than a preventable disability (or type 1 diabetes, or hepatitis, or actually dying) at 2 years old. Not to mention the fact I have a baby sub 6 months old and a father who is very ill and would probably die if he got COVID.

COVID is serious. Governments could put in simple useful measures (like mandating better air filtration and circulation in schools and public buildings etc) but they don't. Everyone's just pretending it's over. It's in the 'too hard' basket.

The research and proof is there in peer reviewed journals. People are just ignoring it until they can't ignore it anymore because either they end up disabled themselves, or someone they love does or dies. I don't know what to do anymore, man. I just try and take the precautions I can reasonably take understanding the capacity of this extremely transmissible virus to kill or disable me or the people I love.

#covid #covid isn't over #covid 19 #I have one 30yo friend who has to take blood thinners for the rest of her life #because COVID gave her a DVT #I have another friend who has to go part time at work #because she has covid fatigue and needs to sleep 14 hours a day a year later #this shit is serious

[hubristicassholefight]

Hubristic Asshole Fight: Round 1 Part 1b

Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars) vs Feanor (The Silmarillion)

Propaganda below cut

Anakin

Decided that he would become stronger than death to stop those he cares about from dying after failing to accept his mother's death. When he begins getting visions/nightmares like he had before losing his mother of his wife dying in childbirth, he decides to team up with an evil sorcerer and mastermind to learn the secret to stopping death. The price he willingly paid was leading the slaughter of the community of peacekeeping monks who had raised him from nine years old, feeling guilt about his heinous betrayal even as he unflichingly continued the massacre (sunk cost fallacy to a very extreme degree). The unintended price he paid was the loss of his limbs and independence after his injuries during a fight with his mentor and brother figure, his wife dying on childbirth due to the great stress of his heinous actions, and being separated from his children until they were adults firmly opposed to the imperial regime he became the attack dog for (only knowing of their survival until after he had personally attacked them both); He literally did not have to do any of that. his wife Padmè very very very very much did not want him to do any of that. He was completely absorbed in his own inability to deal with loss that he deadlock refused to consider losing family again and then he went and killed what amounted to his extended family, his wife and the man who raised and guided him from age 9. And his own kids unknowingly. In terms of accomplishing your goals there really really wasn't much more he could have fucked up. And when it comes down to key moments, all he had to do was not cut off mentor and co-worker Mace Windu's hand with a laser sword and everything would have been fine. He's a nominee for Fail King of All Time to me

He thinks he's hot shit which, he is, but like cool it dude you don't have to mass murder maim mutilate your way through life to prove you're the extra most specialest bestest psychic space wizard;

Hubrised so hard he 1) lost his limbs and his skin 2) became what he hated 3) caused the very death he sought to prevent, betraying and destroying himself for nothing; So soaking wet and self aware that he cried committing atrocities. If he knew what hubris was, he'd agree he has a lot of it

Feanor

The definition of hubris. Created the silmarils who were so perfect even the gods praised them. Got them stolen by the gods evil brother (so essentially fantasy satan). Then decided to go fight the evil god to get the silmarils back and swore an oath binding him and his sons to get them back no matter who would stand in their way. This drastically backfired when some other elves stood in his way so he murdered them. Got cursed by the gods for this (together with his entire family and everyone who followed them). Told the gods that they were of the same kind as fantasy satan and that they would end up following him

Morgoth (a god) shows up at his house and Feanor (professional hater of gods) tells him to get fucked* and slams the door in his face. *”Get thee gone from my gate thou jail-crow of Mandos!”; He has never spent anything wrong ever aside from all the war crimes.

The Valar (gods) asked Feanor for help in saving the world from being in total darkness and he said “no, figure it out yourselves”. Repeatedly and intentionally goes against their orders leading to war and chaos; I know it’s left open ended to what really happened to him after he died, but I hope he never repents. I hope he stays an antagonistic and egotistical bastard after being reimbodied (brought back to life) and continues to make it everyone else’s problem. I love him.

I’m gonna have to try to do this without a sing Tolkien scholarship words so bear with me. Basically my dude is one of the smartest and most talented elves in the world. Unfortunately he has a lot of daddy issues AND mommy issues largely due to the fact that his mom died when he was a kid and decided not to come back (as elves can do). No one else has this problem. He invented a ton of important stuff and had seven sons. His most prized creation was three gems called the Silmarils, which contained the light of the Two Trees, which gave light to the world before they were destroyed. When the Valar (the gods of Tolkien’s world) asked if they could use the Silmarils to potentially create another light source, he emphatically refused and in fact became so jealous of them that he and his sons swore an oath that anyone who so much as touched them would die by their swords. Sauron’s boss steals the gems and Feanor decides that he will lead his people on a crusade to retrieve and avenge them. This results in the death of him, most of his people, and almost his entire family minus one of his sons, Galadriel, and Elrond; He once yelled at the devil to get off his lawn

went to war with morgoth (satan basically) against the will of the gods and made a whole speech to said gods about how they were gonna feel really silly when he killed morgoth and saved the whole world. he never actually did battle with morgoth because he died on like day 1 of getting to middle earth (he left like 2/3 of his forces behind because he didn’t trust them) and spontaneously combusted upon his death; he’s a huge asshole and a mad scientist and linguist and prince with daddy issues and also mommy issues

Dude thought he could win a fight with the devil, tried to just walk into Angband (Mordor before Mordor actually existed), made an oath to kill everyone that tries to take his creations even the Valar (angelic like beings) and ends up causing his death, his sons deaths and a bunch of other deaths; His name is quite literally spirit of fire Is basically regarded as THE greastest elf Is in fact THE best smith of the elves and crafts their most precious jewels (that end up causing so much death) Is THE linguist to the point of creating the alfabet every one uses even after The Crimes, creates a bunch of things that are used even after The Crimes actually Loves his dad more than the things he made Is the only recorded elf with seven kids Is married to a sculpter that is so good that people confuse her statues as actual people (a propaganda because he had to be good to actually bag her you know) Manages to create jewelry so good even the the angelics beings sent by god are surprised he managed to do it So good at making speeches that it leads to a rebellion against said angelic beings and a lot of people to leave paradise with him His mother died because his spirit was too powerful Invented kinslaying after trying to steal some boats for said rebellion Swears an oath that destroys his whole family (but adds a great flavour to the rest of the story) Tells the devil to fuck off and slams his house door on said devils face Dies via auto combustion because his spirit was just too powerful for a normal death Gets stuck in the afterlife (that elves can usually just return from) for spiting the Valar Is said he will have an important role in Tolkien’s version of Ragnarok by letting the jewels he previously promised to kill for be destroyed to defeat the devil

Because of his pride, he went against the gods because the evil god Morgoth stole his life's work (the Silmarils, 3 shiny gems that radiated the light of the two trees that a huge evil spider had sapped dry). Swore (with his 7 sons) an oath to hunt Morgoth and retrieve his shiny gems. Commited kinslaying, burned some boats, combusted to ashes after suffering mortal wounds at the hands of corrupted demi-gods. Consequences of his actions could be seen long long after his death: the oath was passed on to his sons to hopelessly fulfill (failure after failure, including two more kinslayings, one of them casting himself into a fiery volcano, another wandering the shores for eternity);

#anakin skywalker #star wars #feanor #the silmarillion #tolkien's legendarium #hubristic assholes tourney #round 1 #round 1 part 1b #official #poll

[emptyjunior]

The concept of Riz dying decades or in some cases Centuries before his friends is too sad for me, anyways Riz isekai/regression au. 

So Riz, at the end of his life, I assume a decorated private investigator, maybe in and out of many agencies until he like unearthed corruption in them and got kicked out, you know just general Riz stuff.  

I think he would honestly get Jacked, but in like a wiry way, I think by the time he was old his combat sense and powers of deduction would be Insane even if his body cannot keep up with his mind anymore. 

And then I assume he’d die peacefully in bed OR in a dramatic and horrifying conspiracy, possibly on a sinking boat or a waterfall, that all his friends would have to investigate in his honour. 

So Riz dead, gone, finally at peace. 

Or at least he Thinks, BEEP BEEP annoying sound of alarm clock waking him up for his first day of school. 

Chronomancy is most likely to blame. 

So general premise is Riz instantly goes from an awkward teen scrambling to solve his babysitter’s disappearance, with no resources or social skills, twitchy and underfed to a calm and seasoned detective. I think that morning when Sklonda goes to see where he is, he’s made her breakfast, bacon and pancakes. And as she sits down in shock at the table, he quietly slides a file over to her which is every active case she’s working on, methodically solved with notes and clearly explained timelines to the culprit. And if she turns it over to the back, there’s also a resignation letter in there and an application to law school ready to be filled out. And when Sklonda looks up at Riz shaken, he just gives her a kiss on the forehead and a smile like he’s seeing someone he hasn’t seen for many years and then calmly goes to class. 

I also want: 

-Dealing with bullies that first day like Ragh and Fabian like he’s greeting loved ones. Darting out of their attempts to grab him with a dancer’s flourish that he could have only learnt from a high elf... 

-I think Fabian would be a Big Part of his plans (because the most fun part of regression time travel stories is when they start Amassing wealth) so I think he honestly just goes straight to his house, tells Bill Seacaster that him and his son are best friends (which Fabian would SCREAM at if he got humiliated by this goblin earlier that day) and then challenges Bill to a shooting contest and thrashes him, which makes Bill keel over with laughter, offer him a place on his crew, offers him his son’s hand (Fabian is hitting critical levels of red anger embarrassed face at this point) 

-Other fun ways to gather wealth, Riz just robs Kalvaxus. Just remembers every little detail about the accounts from his files, goes to the bank, gives all the current passwords, transfers the Entire dragonhoard to his own account 

-And yes the plot would all be decimating Goldenhoard that first year, so Riz just saves every girl before they’re captured, the maidens that have already been taken, hunts them down. I think he goes to the gas station that Johnny Spells and his friend’s occupy, locks the door and walks right into this den of bikers, just full Kingsman fight sequence decimates them. Because I think he would feel So good getting a body back that hasn’t been rung with years of stress and Kristen Shenanigans that he is in like peak condition 

-First Day finds the rogue teacher which is why he has so much time for running around preparing everyone’s future

-I think, honestly, he shoots Coach Daybreak in the head on sight and gets sent to the principal’s office and Aguefort’s like “are you doing a chronomancy?” and he says yea and Aguefort’s like sweet, carry on 

I think he finds Jawbone taking terrible paying bouncer jobs, and just offers him a bodyguard/assistant job so he has a little buddy to investigate with.

Starts a full out war with Helio followers because they had way too much reach in town, and when they try to debate with him he has Way more knowledge about their scripture than they do and some truly dangerous deity blackmail locked and loaded and Helio himself comes down and says haha leave this kid alone he just implied he can reincarnate a God, let’s go, let’s go.

Finds some insane legal loophole that absolutely strips Adaine and Aelwyn’s parents of influence and gives their children power over all their assets. Weirdly becomes very close friends with Aelwyn, maybe it’s because they both have the same taste in liquor now.

I think he’d start an information guild that involves like Zayn Darkshadow, Fig in her many disguises, Aelwyn and surprisingly Kipperlilly. Also Kalina! And he knows exactly how to summon her and keeps saying things to her that are friendly yet intimidating and it freaks her out.

Walks up to gorgug, hands him a study plan pathway to MCAT and walks off leaving gorgug very confused (and probably asking if he was his dad) 

Just fun time travel future knowledge shenanigans! And I cannot restate again, we saw how quick a Junior Year Riz is at investigating and making leaps to the right answer. By the time he is at the end of his life, I feel like he’s reached moriarty levels of detective prowess. The many new enemies he keeps making keep coming to him and he just strips them down with his powers of deduction. He’s looking at how one person favours their left side, or the crumbs on their wrist and knows everything there is to know about them. 

So just Freshman Year, the perfect run, Riz with a lot of angst in a very satisfying detective story getting closure for a lot of things. 

#i read a Lot of manga if you're wondering #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high #brennan lee mulligan #riz gukgak #isekai #au #time travel #brian murphy #text post

[sadclowncentral]

Sorry if this is a weird question, and if that's the case you can absolutely not answer, but how do you cope with having multiple full-time jobs and still having energy outside of work? Feels a bit like I'm dying of exhaustion every day over here lol

I've been ruminating for a few days on this ask because truly I struggle with this more than I want to admit. My jobs rarely leave me with energy outside of work, and I have gone through times in the last two years where working and sleeping were the only possibilities, and it sucks, and it is kind of embarrassing, but I have also found some ways to mitigate it even slightly which I am more than happy to share:

1. Schedule fun times (yikes)

It was a harrowing realization that I need to schedule hang outs and self care just like every meeting - weeks in advance, colour coded in both the calendar and the to do list - but since I started doing it, my success rate has skyrocketed. You either die a type b or live long enough to become a type a i guess

2. Bring your fun to work day

I will suggest anything that's fun to me as a work activity. I like drawing so you KNOW the ministry is littered with illustrations. My PowerPoints create envy across departments. I scout the world of my office for ways to have fun and I am not embarrassed to say so. I'm funmaxxing the grind. So what

3. Everyone is depressed bitch

Acknowledge that everyone your age is looking at their fifty-year olds in their work life with white-hot envy (WHEN THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TIME TO GARDEN) and that the loss of agency that comes with starting your career is normal and sad, but also means that...

4. Let's get some fruit

...you gotta stop thinking in old time frames of friendship expectations. people you haven't talked to for eight months will not be mad about your absence as they are stressed and hobbyless as well and will instead REJOICE at a scheduled hangout. I have friends I see once a year we love each other. no one is mad and everyone is stressed tf out LET'S HANG

5. Win the war not the fight

hey. listen to me. this isn't easy. it sucks coming home and feeling like having no agency left. and it's hard to break that cycle of exhaustion, and I fail all the time, when is the last time i saw the sun, oh god oh no my twenties. and if you feel like that is necessary in the time you are in, that is respectable. don't be mean to yourself for being stuck in a system that tries to squeeze all the energy out of you like a grape of some sort. you just gotta make sure you don't FORGET that you are a fully formed person with hobbies in another life. buy that plane model kit. bookmark that recipe. join that knitting group. i know you dont have time and energy. but your future self will thank you for paving the way.

I hope these are helpful. don't forget to have fun and be yourself. godspeed

#sent to you while building my beautiful model plane my friend bought for me because i couldnt find the energy to #this is a GROUP EFFORT

[allthegothihopgirls]

I love the asexual Bruce Wayne agenda and I totally agree with it. What I want to know though is how Bruce (asexual queen that he his) deals with his hormonal teenage boys?

Cause like Bruce never got the sex talk (I mean his parents died when he was young, and the family Buttler is Not giving his former employers son the sex talk) and that’s fine by Bruce. Cause he’s never felt these ‘urges’ that everyone talks about. Honestly, sex is overrated.

But, Batman prepares for everything. And one thing that people ALWAYS stress about parenting is having to give your kids the sex talk.

I just really want to know about the hijinks like;

Bruce: *Standing forlornly in front of a ‘Sex Ed’ PowerPoint* So, I understand that you probably have no desire for these… urges. That everyone talks about. But the parenting book (and society) decrees that to be a good parent, I need to give my children a proper education on sex.

Dick: *Very much not asexual* Yeah, no thanks dad this really helps!

Bruce: *Bewildered* How???

although the idea of bruce uncomfortably giving his version of a 'talk' is amusing, i don't think he'd give one at all. none of the boys would really give him any reason to, until he gets to tim at least (he's like, the only one i haven't fully projected my asexual agenda onto at this point).

dick's always been very responsible, so when he starts dating, maaaaybe bruce has like, a single thought contemplating whether or not to sit him down, but i think he'd get off with a "you know that you should always treat a woman right, yeah?" whether dick's actually dating women is up for debate but you get the point and a pat on the back. i believe that bruce operates predominantly under the 'if they have questions, they'll ask' mindset, so he trusts that if dick needs an answer to something, he'll come to bruce. (or just source an answer elsewhere)

i do also think that if anything, alfred would be the one to pull bruce up and ask if he'd adequately informed the boys of things 'one on one' (because he KNOWS that he hasn't). and even then, if bruce were to actually sit dick down, he wouldn't get so far as an introduction spent dancing around the topic because bruce is himself, mortified, before dick stops him and says that he doesn't have to give him this talk, because "wally already did" (much to bruce's disapproval).

as for jason, dying isn't great for a guy's love life. as i pretty much said previously, i don't think bruce would approach anything until it was absolutely relevant (when the boys are already in a relationship). so jason not getting a chance to really date before he died, means that bruce never had the opportunity to talk to him about it. i also believe he'd assume that jason already knows, with the crude jokes he makes, and the kind of people he grew up around on the streets. and obviously, by the time he comes back as red hood, he's too old to 'not know' and it's just presumed he knows his stuff.

i think tim might cause him a little bit (a lot) of trouble though. it definitely scares the shit out of bruce when he finds out about steph getting pregnant by her ex. it prompts him to fling fully into action mode to prevent tim ever being in that situation. that'd be the first time he's properly spoken to one of his kids about it, lots of emphasis on protection and what NOT to do.

however for any other talk pre-steph, i really do think he'd try to palm off the responsibility onto dick (he's very thankful that he's got kids old enough to do it for him), asking him to talk to tim. bruce would probably pull out all the cards "i'm too old" "he'd think it was less weird coming from you" "i don't know what you kids get up to, he's better off hearing it from someone who he can relate to" "i don't want to traumatise the kid" etc etc.

i do think the whole steph situation would be a bit of a reality-check for bruce though, and he'd have the realisation "that could have been any one of the kids" and he would be on his toes for a bit. especially with the amount of girls tim is rumoured to have relations with. him getting with bernard would be a big relief for everyone bruce i think.

once again when he gets with bernard, bruce is 100% palming off the responsibility of having that talk, onto one of his other kids. most likely jason. this is getting super far into my own personal headcanon territory, but literally none of them are straight to me, and i think jason would be the most 'comfortably' gay (mostly just his lack of care about the subject, being percieved as open-ness). bruce would 100% ask dick to talk to tim if it weren't for how private he tends to be with his love life in adulthood. (even getting him to just have the general 'talk' with tim was pushing it)

i don't think he'd ever talk with damian, the league definitely taught him (although objectively). i do think out of all the kids, he'd be the one to have questions though, mainly about the romantic aspect of relationships, as he struggles to wrap his head around the concept of 'love', (which really tests bruce's parenting abilities) i do think dick (having the bond he does with damian) would go out of his way to have a talk with him as he got older though.

as for cass, i don't think she would have ever been taught, with her irregular upbringing, as well as not going to regular school and all. but girls are new in the batfamily, and bruce doesn't want to touch that conversation with a ten-foot pole, so he calls diana in to do it for him.

final note, i also really do think a large contributing factor to bruce most likely never approaching the subject out of his own free will is just how private they all tend to be with their love lives. like i can see dick telling bruce that he's dating someone (as a teenager), but apart from a name and how he knows them, he's not really giving much else away. jason on the other hand just completely leaves it up for everyone else to figure out on their own (it lives entirely in my head that he's like this with his family, but is super close with his partner's family, which is a shock to everyone). if anything, tim's the only one who ever wants people to know about his relationships, for them to 'meet the parents' (bruce) etc etc. it probably all stems from bruce himself being a pretty secretive guy.

#i think i went a tad off the rails on this one #for the record this has no canon credibility #wally west as a kid's friend is a parent's worst nightmare #also i think bruce has a lot of trust in the education system and the health classes the boys have all sat through #but he most definitely makes up excuses to not talk to them #“it'll be best for them to learn through experience” etc etc #asks #honeyicedcoffee #asexual bruce wayne #bruce wayne #batman #batfamily #batboys #the robins #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #cassandra cain #damian wayne #robin #nightwing #red hood #red robin #dc comics #dc batman #dcu #dc #gothihop speaks

[msookyspooky]

OMG YOU WATCHED LISA FRANKENSTIEN AND LOVED IT?! <33

I've been waiting for that especially since you've posted Gomez and Morticia (The goal of all goals) on your blog! It's an odd request but I still read and love your Set Up series so can we get a crossover with YN as Lisa Swallow's and the boys as The Creature? ( Cole Sprouse lowkey reminds me of young Skeet Ulrich which considering Riverdale it's no wonder)

Wait cause no this is such a good idea I cannot pass it up I got so much work to do but I REALLY wanna write for this! (I got so many request I'm trying to do in my inbox but uh...This is my current hyperfixation srry)

I wish I could draw better to make zombies of them fhjaafg ♡♡♡ If anyone wants to add onto this or request other characters please do (And anyone seeing this; watch Lisa Frankenstein I loved it)

🔪 Scream / Lisa Frankenstein Crossover 🧟‍♂️

Iⁿᶜˡᵘᵈᵉᵈ﹕ ʳᵃⁿᵈʸ ᵐᵉᵉᵏˢ, ˢᵗᵘ ᵐᵃᶜʰᵉʳ, ᵇⁱˡˡʸ ˡᵒᵒᵐⁱˢ, ᵐⁱᶜᵏᵉʸ ᵃˡᵗᵉʳⁱ

(Everyone is buried in this despite canon and set in the present. Fem!Reader TW: Corpse/Dead Body, Talk of Rot and Decay, Zombie BF)

🪦 Randy Meeks: Died 1998

♡ You loved his character in Stab. After you did some deep diving studying who the actual Randy was outside of the movie; you found his tombstone. (who would do this? Me and @f1nalboys Might do what Lisa did and write your name over his etched name *Meeks* on a piece of paper. Bc of course YN Meeks just has a nice ring to it)

♡ Heard you venting about life and fell in love in his restless but lucid slumber 6ft underground. Someone actually likes his character for more than comic relief? Someone understood him? They didn't think he was just the geek?

♡ After a terrible lightning storm...Guess who fumbled and broke through your window drenched in mud and decay?

♡ Is a little hurt you aren't head over heels for him in his current state. He accidentally cried even if his pride hates that he quite literally cried his own eyes out. He's used to not getting who he wants and...Well, he may not smell himself with his nostrils rotted out but considering his eye popped out; still attached to the retina and had to be pushed back in while you're covering your nose gagging; he understands even if it hurts.

♡ Takes a shower (I'd use Dawn. Bar soap or Dove ain't gonna cut it.) and wears your clothes or robe. He still smells like a dead body and has worms but he's trying. He's got a LOT of old stab wounds from dying in that van at Windsor...Holes...Things seep out so you might wanna get tape or something idk.

♡ Do not stress this undead man out if you mischaracterize a film; he cannot talk with a missing tongue to argue; it decayed decades ago.

♡ His dead, dull eyes actually have some spark of life to them when he sees streaming for the first time. So many movies he's missed out on! Give him the remote and you never gotta worry about him leaving your room while you're gone.

♡ He accidentally kills someone you definitely did not want killed after they smelled something awful in your room, went up there, screamed, Randy went to knock them out in a panic and accidentally kills them

♡ He feels awful about it and you both decide to hide the body and use their hand to replace his missing one (Fell off lol just dead things) and shock him back to circulation somehow

♡ If you do what Lisa did and let him do...Other things with a 'back massager'. He's so madly in love and yearning for you it's insane. But if you got a crush you're yearning for; he is rolling his eyes with a grunt at this being Sid and Billy or Sid and Derek allllll over again.

♡ Less corpsey he gets with each shock session; more he can't help his feelings for you. YOU have to be the one to admit your feelings to him though because what would you want with an undead geek like him? At least in his mind.

♡ Would cry his eyes out (Not literally this time) if you were killed and 100% would resurrect your body and take care of you like you did him

♡ Is as loyal as they come. Will worship you accepting him at his geekiest, dead, grossest versions of himself and you're still here

🪦 Stu Macher: Died 1996

♡ You found his tombstone as a dare to 'bring him back' like bloody mary....No duh, it didn't work. But Stu was still aware of it in a dream like state sorta way. You didn't believe in that stuff rolling your eyes at people badgering you on where you lived.

♡ A car hits a power line and the line of electricity zaps his grave and he goes home just to see...Holy shit, you own his house!

♡ He thinks he's still the playboy man slut he was in life that can get anyone he wants so he's really offended you aren't wanting him to kiss you. Why!? Cause he has worms and his lips are a little dry from sinking into rot, he's a little bit dirty with body fluid stained clothes and he smells like a dead body? Picky!

♡ Is even more offended you're gagging and covering your nose demanding he bathe. Begrudgingly takes your dumb shower and your entire tub smells like dead bird and covered in dirt.

♡ When he comes out you see his face is very scarred under all that mud he had on him. Maybe the rumor he died via a tv crashing on his head and shocking him was true?

♡ If you piss him off...Well he can't kill you cause he needs you. But he WILL hack up a worm like a hairball just to gross you out out of pure pettiness.

♡ Just steals your clothes without asking. Lounging in your best clothes that can fit while he's leaking fluids. If not, he's stealing some guys clothes in your home. Catch him lounging in your Dad/Step Dad/Brothers/Friends best fit.

♡ Tries to steal your bed till you yell at him to get in the closet before someone sees. He guards your clothes and forces you to wear the sluttiest sexiest clothes you have...What? He's helping!

♡ He is soooooooo elated they made Stab! A whole movie with him portrayed in it by a good looking actor? He is over the moon watching it on repeat.

♡ Gets lonely easily...And bored! He's sighing to himself when you're gone and thinking how Billy is dead now and all the people he once knew, knew him as a murderer and were in their 40's. In fact, don't leave him alone long; its disastrous.

♡ Not able to yap HURTS HIM. Expect a lot of hand gestures and getting him a note pad to write on because he can't handle this

♡ Kills someone after you have an issue with them not even second guessing it. What? Problem solved! AND he gets a new body part to replace the one that rotted. Win win.

♡ He is very aware and depressed his manhood rotted off decades ago and that's probably the first body part he's going for. Especially a crush/boyfriend of yours. He can handle no ear or hand or even a tongue but his dick!? No.

♡ Sits in bed painting your nails while you rant about boys. He nods at everything when it comes to guys having their mind on one thing because well...Yeah. Especially in his case

♡ HE is the one smirking if he finds any massager and even if you want a back rub that thing is going lower. Just cause he doesn't have a peen rn doesn't mean his mind isn't in the gutter still

♡ He thinks your a girlfriend of his right away so casually without even asking you so; of course any guy coming near you is dead. Of course he's resurrecting you if you die because...Well he's starting to realize you're the only girl that doesn't scream when you see him so he's gonna hang up his player towel.

♡ Even fully restored he still has scars on his face and feels indebted to you that you don't care about his murderous ways or his face now. He takes care of you if you're dead and the roles reverse...Hell, he finds it hot you need him now.

Billy Loomis: Died 1996

♡ You were a bit odd yourself and found yourself studying the murders. Feeling conflicted about Billy because yeah he was an awful incel but researching his background you felt a bit bad he felt so alone and abandoned even with people around him. You clean off vandalism on his grave and talk to him for hours.

♡ A storm occurs after you have an awful day and cry to his grave 'I wish I was with you'...You meant dead. But well...

♡ That night lightning hits the grave and you wake up in bed to the god awful smell and his dead dirty face looking down at you. You go to scream and he covers your mouth with a cold clammy hand. Going to talk to you and a centipede falls out his mouth making you scream even louder.

♡ You almost knock his head off before he points to a picture on your desk you took of his grave surrounded by newspaper articles of his death.

♡ He thinks he finally has a person that's not a 'whore, bitch, or poser' in his eyes. A bit in love with you and is bitter you don't exactly want an ex serial killer from the 90's like that...

♡ He almost wants to kill you thinking of the betrayal till he sees his reflection and is completely defeated. Sunken dead eyes, matted dirty hair missing in places, longer haggered dirty nails, skin looking ready to fall off.

♡ He sits in your bathroom and you try to comfort him till you smell what smells like...Sewage and death and embalming fluid and your trying not to throw up.

♡ He takes a shower without being told to. Disgusted by his own rot and grime. His gun shot wound in the middle of his forehead a reminder of his failure almost 3 decades ago...Might have scrambled his brain a bit.

♡ He's a manipulator and user but he's not as...Tactless and spoiled as Stu. He feels grateful you offered him to stay despite the smell and the misunderstanding even if he's not happy sleeping on the floor or closet.

♡ He feels even more defeated when you tell him his Mom died in 1998 at Windsor College trying to avenge his death. He's beside himself over it and honestly just wants to crawl back in his icky coffin and die again.

♡ He wanders your home despite being told not to. Goes through all of your things. The lack of speaking doesn't bother him. Especially when it means he can hear you spill your guts more. He wants to observe everything.

♡ Like Randy he's pleased by the movies on streaming but not as obsessed as he was. Whether that bullet was like a lobotomy or just laying in the ground so long to 'think' in the afterlife; he's not the same guy he was in 96...Not completely. Is annoyed at his portrayal in Stab. His hair never looked like that! (Yes it did)

♡ He does kill someone when they bully or mistreat you. He feels possessive of you already and he just doesn't like assholes. He's the one that decides to steal a body part while you're staring in horror.

♡ He gets shocked and you see him a little less dead and a working body part now. So it becomes a thing for you both but you tell him 'Only those that deserve it' and he shrugs. He ain't following that but okay.

♡ Is pinning over you but hides it well. Enjoying just listening to you or watching you. HATES with a passion when you talk about guys but hides it with grunts and subtle glares.

♡ Is your ride or die when he hears police are investigating you for murder after he was the one killing them. I mean...What will they do? Re-kill him? He will do anything he can especially the more 'alive' he becomes to protect you.

♡ Once he's...Fully equipped he actually refuses to sleep with you. Still thinking 'virgins live, sluts die' like he use to. You have to tell him 'You know Sidney is still alive, right? That rule is dumb and not true.' he may get over it and sleep with you or it might still take time.

♡ He wants to go after Sid but also what's the point now? He's not exactly in tip top shape...Don't even tell him about Sam being rumored to possibly being his daughter by mega Stab fans. His undead brain will stop working.

♡ If you die he will resurrect you not out of convenience and want like Stu or devotion like Randy but more possessive ownership. You're his. Whether that's love or to control you (Both). Not even death will seperate you from him.

♡ Once he's fully recovered he has a migraine till that bullet eventually is pushed out by that one last shock and his body starts bleeding again.

♡ More than happy to be together away from everyone just you and him.

Mickey Alteri: Died 1998

♡ Everyone knows Mickey as the freak that was so obsessed with Stab and the original killers he imitated them. But what they don't realize is he killed even before Nancy found him. He was just wired different and it made him feel alive...How ironic now.

♡ You accidentally stumbled upon his grave after trying to find a different one. And...Why is it empty? Well, you had nothing to do with his resurrection just wrong place wrong time as a corpse is lumbering towards you from behind a tombstone with bullet wounds all over him.

♡ He wanted to snap your neck just to fell something again till his own leg fell off and he face planted on the ground.

♡ You of course didn't know he was trying to kill you. You still tried to get away before you saw him just sitting there and...Sighing? It wasn't a mindless zombie after you? Even worse; he grabbed your keys when you ran.

♡ Ask for them back and like a damn child he shakes his head with grunts. You swear to God you heard 'nuh uh' in his grunt. (Keep his leg away give me the keys or I'm yeeting your leg)

♡ Takes a shower at your house and like Randy all those holes are leaking...Icky stuff. He had more muscle before he died so his body mass shockingly is thinner but not as much as it should be? You're talking to a corpse it doesn't have to make sense. All you know is he just walked around naked and you saw disgusting things on the human body you never wanna know after death. You gotta make him wear clothes!

♡ You're in this awkward situation where...The dead guy has feelings and thoughts and is urging he wants to go home with you. Whether you say yes or no he knows your car and will find you.

♡ Sew his leg back on or give him a funny replacement like a peg leg and tell him deal with it. What are you? A surgeon?

♡ Little did you know the second you came for your keys and talked to him he claimed you as his just for being different than most victims. More eager than Stu, falling even faster than Randy, more obsessive than Billy and POSSIBLY crazier than the og Ghostface's...You're having a corpse that is already planning to make you his (Might even kill you so you have to be with him when he resurrects you like he was.)

♡ Other than killing and movies you're the first thing to make him feel something and he is not letting that go.

♡ Wears your clothes, watches your tv, listens to you talk, plans to kill anyone that fucks with you, watches you when you sleep, dresses you up.

♡ The first kill is a guy interested in you. You are his now! He doesn't hesitate to take a few body parts to have you sew on him. Finds the whole process endearing. He's nuts guys idk. You just gotta drill it in his head not to kill a family member, close friend or pet or you won't forgive him because he cannot have that. He wants your affection and attention so he'll be good when it comes to that.

♡ With each shock he gets more lively and bolder. Dancing with you and ignoring the worm that you don't know where it fell out of. Trying to cuddle you even if you gotta start smearing vicks under your nose. Won't hesitate to kiss all over you once he's not as rotten and tries to think of your pleasure before his.

♡ He never hides his obsession and will let you know with a hand on your throat not to talk about guys around him before lovingly caressing your cheek afterwards as an apology.

♡ If you die, not by him, he is furious and will kill anyone in his path before resurrecting you. He'll take care of you in the most yanadere way. You're his forever now.

#scream 2 #scream #scream imagines #scream imagine #stu macher #billy loomis #randy meeks #mickey alteri

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

This something i thought about just now what about MC taking M6 on a suprise date to relieve them of their pressure that their duties bring them and vice versa

The Arcana HCs: Surprise Getaways with the M6

~ I also had an older anon request for date nights with the M6, so here we go! Enjoy all of my escapist headcanoning - brainrot ~

Julian

How you whisk him away:

Julian gets the most stressed from his medical practice when he's had an unusually high number of patients and a lower success rate of treating them

Which is why the best thing is to take him out of the city, where there's nobody to take on their burdens for

He especially loves getaways to mineral or hot springs - they take him back to Nevivon and generally feel like the opposite of a clinic

Book a long weekend for the two of you and "kidnap" him from the clinic without telling him where you're going. He'll love it

How he whisks you away:

He'll take you out on a gondola for the evening. All his time on ships makes him a decent sailor

And nothing feels more romantic to him than serenading you with his vielle by moonlight

He'll pack a bottle of wine for the two of you as well

Sometimes he forgets that he has to steer the two of you back and has a little much

No harm done, between his half effective rowing and your half effective magic you're usually able to make it back to shore in one piece

Asra

How you whisk them away:

Of everyone you know, he is the chillest person you'll ever meet. He only gets stressed when there's a really big issue to face

Like the world ending ... or someone dying ...

If you see them stressed it's most likely about something that everyone else is stressed about too, including you

Which is why you wait until after it's taken care of to spend several days at a natural sacred site

An introvert at heart, he'll quickly recharge in his element with you by his side and a dearth of ancient magic to play with

How they whisk you away:

He'll take you to his sanctuary for up to a week, or as long as you give him

Will hold you snuggle hostage for at least twelve of every twenty four hours

If there's a festival or gathering happening in the nearby village, they'll go with you and dance with you through the night

Multiple nights on the flat roof, stargazing in the cool air, snuggled up and talking quietly about life and the future

Your sleep schedule is always out of whack by the time you return from all the late nights and mornings

Nadia

How you whisk her away:

She has very good reason to get stressed. She's a Countess who does her job properly. Stress is in the job description

Which is why you have to time it carefully. As much as you want to drag her away, the project bothering her so much could be very important

On the other hand, as someone who loves her very very much, you want to avoid the stress migraines that plague her

So you'll confer with her advisors to give her several days off and take her into the Arcana's realms

Most of the Arcana themselves are quite fond of her, so she's welcome nearly everywhere

And it's a place where she can roam and grow as herself, not a Countess or Princess

How she whisks you away

She understands self-care like nobody's business. She's stealing you away to her seaside palace for a week

Fresh food. Massages. Sun bathing. Playing in the sand and waves. Spa treatments. Evenings on the balcony, listening to the waves crash and tasting salt on the lips

You always come back with a sun kissed glow, every muscle in your body relaxed

Muriel

How you whisk him away:

Being a natural worrier, he exists with low levels of stress almost constantly

Which is why his hut is one of the most stress free environments you've ever been in

His hut stops being stress free when you've had a large influx of visitors

Ever since half of Vesuvia used his front yard as a campground, it's been a common occurrence for someone to drop by with a snack to say hello

Which is why you'll take a nice, long trip to Khamgalai's old cottage together

It surprised you at first how happy he is in such a somber place, but for him it's the least lonely place to be introspective

No outside pressures, nothing telling him to hurry up, just a field of forget me nots and carved family history with his love nearby

How he whisks you away:

He'll taking you camping in the Ancient Forest. It's full of peace and life and it really lets your inner magician blossom

It's also where the two of you did a lot of bonding. He likes being able to slow down and walk through your shared memories together to remind you that he's got your back

He doesn't like the mini heart attack you give him when you wake him up with your best "impatient Morga" impression

Portia

How you whisk her away:

Can we say workaholic? She moves nonstop, all day long, engaging people face to face with terrifying optimism

While it certainly makes her more prone to burnout, it doesn't make her stressed the way feeling helpless does

Which usually happens when her negotiations don't go the way she hopes

You'll take her to the nearest festival and schedule the day after off as well for the recovery

Being surrounded by happy people, with no responsibility for maintaining that happiness, is her cue to let loose

She parties hard. She'll visit every single stall, take a shot at every single game, try a bite of every type of food, and dance until her legs fail her

How she whisks you away:

Nobody knows how to give someone the royal treatment like she does - it was literally her job for three years

She'll organize a staycation for you, either in her cottage or on the outskirts of wherever you're visiting for diplomacy

Breakfast in bed. Footrubs. Long walks through nature. Reading side by side in the evenings. Hair care day. The kind of baking projects that take four hours

Lucio

How you whisk him away:

He's put a lot of work into becoming a better man, but he's got a long way to go and he knows it

He's not naturally prone to stress, which is why he's so bad at handling it when he has it

He also knows that you love him unconditionally, but that doesn't stop the fear of you running out of patience. So he'll stress himself to pieces trying to do every single thing right, all the time

It makes him a little antsy at first, because how is he supposed to prove himself if there's nothing to do?

So you'll find a decently priced B&B near a sleepy town, and take a few slow days

There's nothing to do now except give him the love and attention he craves

He'll be able to settle into the rhythm pretty quickly, but beware, once your couple days of rest are up he'll be bursting with energy

How he whisks you away:

He's still learning to think outside the box, so he'll take a page from your book and do the same for you. Small town, nice B&B

The difference is that he still has his energy, so you often wake up from an afternoon nap in time to hear all about the trouble he got up to while you were asleep

#ask arcana brainrot #the arcana headcanons #the arcana hc #the arcana #asra the arcana #julian the arcana #nadia the arcana #muriel the arcana #portia the arcana #lucio the arcana #the arcana game #the arcana fluff #asra alnazar #julian devorak #nadia satrinava #muriel of the kokhuri #portia devorak #lucio morgasson

[sarilolla]

So it's the same,(branch not taking the potion and dying) but the others did find brozone and came to the bunker before branch died and tries to save him?

Ooo yes (come get your Branch angst everyone)

Hanahaki Branch au (slight spoilers/alternative ending to not finished fic)

So as I have mentioned in my fic, there’s a point where the Hanahaki has created so strong roots inside the body, the potion won’t work anymore.

Branch is a stubborn Troll. Always has been. Love was no exception. Especially for his brothers. That was why he had let it go this far. Even with the adventures he and Poppy had done, he still hadn’t found them. But he held into that hope.

That would be his undoing. He is at the point in his illness where the potion simply won’t work anymore. Dr. Moonbloom confirmed it, and it was like the flowers and vines inside him tightened their grip on his lungs.

Poppy organized search parties as soon as she knew, which was immediately after he left the doctor’s office. Both the Country and the Rock Trolls had had encounters with both John Dory for some reason, and both tribes were willing to help. They heard from some indie Trolls that Floyd had last been heard from moving towards Mount Rageous, and Kismet set after him, the boyband desperate to help their Branch. Gristle and Bridget had heard rumors of an old abandoned golf course made by some Bergens, and how there was a possibility Trolls lived there, hopefully a brother was there. And some of the bounty hunters had met Bruce on Vacay Island, going there.

Finding them all wasn’t the easiest thing in the world, especially for Bridget and Gristle, and Kismet. The Bergens had to promise they were only there to try to find someone from Brozone to save the life of their friend, and while Clay was skeptical, he joined them, Viva worryingly following, a bit at ease from how fond Bridget was of Poppy. Kismet had a long road trip, but they knew Floyd would go home for Branch, they remembered how close the two youngest Brozone brothers were. In Mount Rageous, they had to help Floyd dodge Velvet and Veneer. All brothers come when they learn Branch is dying and he needs them. He don’t need Brozone, he doesn’t need the Perfect Family Harmony, he just needs his older brothers and being able to tell them he loves them. Hear them say it in return. There’s no question about it, there will be a family reunion.

Back in Pop Village, Branch can’t even leave his bed anymore, struggling to move, or even breathe. Poppy’s at his side at all times, holding his hand and saying loving words like a mantra. He’s tired, barely keeping his eyes open when he hears someone say “they’re here.”

He wants to open his eyes, want to see them, but he’s so tired. He’s been dealing with this since he was 10. He thinks he deserves to rest now.

Someone is holding his hand, even as he can’t breathe. There’s voices, but he can’t make them out. He’s slipped too far already. His breathing, stuttering and struggling, doesn’t help, even as more people surround him.

One person is holding the hand not occupied by Poppy’s, another has a hand on his arm, he thinks there is a hand on his leg, and the final person is checking his pulse.

He can’t open his eyes. Hearing fades until he can hear his grandma’s voice, plus two unfamiliar but just as loving voices, and they’re welcoming him with tears.

John removes his hand once he is sure he can’t feel Branch’s heartbeat anymore. They were close, so close to saving their baby brother. When his arm falls to his side, the rest of them understand. Floyd holds his hand tighter, wishing life would come back into those calluses hands. Clay is quiet, not moving the hand on Branch’s arm, and Bruce looks just as shellshocked from where he’s sitting by Branch’s legs.

Poppy sobs. Her Branch is gone. They were so close, so close to saving him. And now he’s gone. At least he looks relaxed now. To think Death’s gentle touch was the thing that would smooth out those stress lines. She doesn’t want to look at his brothers, don’t want to acknowledge them, and lets her own brother move her away eventually, and she hides with Cooper and the rest of the Snack Pack. Their Branch is gone. Forever.

***

Hehe another ficlet. Like the others, this could be expanded, as I want to introduce more relationships and dynamics in my fic first. But yeah, now we have two death scenarios

Branch angst my beloved

Feel free to send more asks, this au is rotting my brain right now, and I love to share about it (shout out to my sisters for listening to my rambling)

#dreamworks trolls #trolls band together #answered asks #hanahaki branch #when I say this au is everything in my head rn #I mean it #tw death #sarilolla´s writing

[thereisnolumos]

Correcting all the atrocities against Russian language in Grishaverse

I think that I might’ve already wrote on this topic here before, but I can’t seem to find it and I’m continuously bitter with the way my language has been expropriated and twisted in the girishaverse series, so, without further ado, 10 things that infuriated me (and the ones I remembered now, for there are surely more) as a Russian speaking person:

1. The first being the Grisha itself. It’s a male name. A shortened version of the name Grigoriy, to be exact. To call an entire group of people like that is… try switching it to “Johnny” every time you read it and you’ll understand the pain. She could’ve at least try and justify it with some “first ever” character with such powers named Grigoriy, so that’s why they’re called that… but no

2. All the names. Listen, if you’re using Russian names while writing in English (or any other language that doesn’t differentiate between genders) you have two ways:

eradicate the switch completely, giving everyone the male version (i.e. default bcs that’s the world we live in), or

FUCKING STICK TO THE RULES OF THE LANGUAGE YOU’RE GOT THEM FROM. The female Russian last names will always have a vowel in the end. So, it’s Aleksander Morozov and Baghra Morozova (I’m dying to know what name she thought that one is a short version of, for it just doesn’t exist). It’s Alina Starkova. Genya Safina (which should be Evgeniya, bcs Genya is a short version). Zoya Nazelenskaya (her name looks to me as of Polish and/or Ukrainian origins, correct me of I’m wrong. I’m only going off from the Russian language rules), etc.

3. It’s Fyodor, not Fedyor. And it’s Kaminskyi or Kaminskyy, there is an extra sound in the end, not just -y. Actually, for this last name use the name of the President of Ukraine as a guide, their names would be of the same origin, same as Zoya’s last name.

4. You cannot use just any word as a name in Russian language. I know that it’s sort of a thing in modern English language, but it’s not a case here. So, if I recall, there was a character with the name “Privyet” in the books. Which means “hi” in Russian. Don’t do things like that. Please. I beg of you. Fun fact, we have Vera, Nadezhda and Lubov (Faith, Hope and Love respectively) as real FEMALE ONLY names, but no such thing as just taking a word like say “Otvaga - Bravery” and making it a name. Nope.

5. Don’t even get me started on the idiocy that “otkazat’sya” is. It’s. A. Fucking. Verb. Means “to refuse” in a slightly different context that “otkazat’”. There isn’t a single version of the reality where it would’ve made sense to call a group of people by verb. None. If she wanted it to mean “the abandoned” as in “the power abandoned them”, she should’ve called them “otvergnutyye” or “ostavlennyye”. If the meaning is more towards “they refused that power”, then it should be smth like “otkazavshiesya”.

6. They have stressed the wrong syllable in the “merzost’” on the show. Supposed to be the first one. Not sure whether or not she meant to use the word “filth” in regards to the forbidden magic, or if, once again, she just liked the sound of this word.

7. “Kefta” should’ve just been “kaftan”

8. I actually hate that she couldn’t just stick to the names that would’ve been found in Russian empire during the time she drew inspiration from. What is Baghra and Malyen???? Where’d she get them??? I can stretch Baghra as being a very strange short version of the name Agrafena (veeeeery old Russian name, which suits her long life), but it’s a big stretch to say the least. Malyen just doesn’t exist. Mal doesn’t exist as a name (it’s a old version of the word “small” though)

9. What is the word “Tsarina” everyone seems to use in fanfiction where Alina and Aleksander rule over Ravka? There is no such word. There are:

Tsar - the male ruler

Tsaritsa - female ruler and/or wife of a Tsar

Tsarevich - son of Tsar and Tsaritsa

Tsarevna - daughter of Tsar and Tsaritsa

No Tsarina.

10. David’s last name is extremely strange. I assume he’s not of Ravkan origins, from his first name, but Kostyk - is a friendly short version of a name Konstantin. I’m debated over the fact whether or not this form of this name has even been in use before Soviet Union actually. I’ve met people with the last name like Kostyukevich and Konstantinov though (there are many last names that originated from first names in Russian language many, many years ago. But there are rules for the ways they were formed)

Feel free to add all the ways Leigh Bardugo butchered other languages and cultures in this series

#grishaverse #russian language #slavic languages #shadow and bone #aleksander morozov #alina starkova #genya safina #baghra morozova #malyen oretsev #shadow and bone season 2 #shadow and bone series #incorrect shadow and bone

[twdgwritings]

Character Discussion;

Marlon

Something I experienced while being in the fandom is a lot of a backlash for liking Marlon. Now I’m not saying anybody has to like him or agree with me, but I don’t think he is just a black and white character that most believe. I don’t think it’s true at all, he has many shades to him. In this post I’m going to deep dive into Marlon, the things he has done, overall opinions and stuff like that. I might even do this with other characters if y’all would be interested in hearing my thoughts.

Also my power was out for a few days, so that really set me back with writings and other stuff. So please be patient with me!

Warnings: typos, talk of parental abuse/neglect, children dying, kidnapping, accidental murder, violence, other stuff probably?, spoilers

1. Marlon’s Past

While we don’t know his past for sure, I think it’s important to consider what we do know or could influence his current behavior. I’ve headcanoned, since the first time I played, that Marlon was abused as a child. Given his problem with authority figures (adults, the headmaster, Lily and Abel), anger issues and the need to be in control I believe this is a strong point. Acting out from his terrible home life is probably what landed him in a troubled youth school, especially since we can assume his parents were possibly tired of dealing with him. Of course this isn’t canon, but I don’t think it’s out of the realm of possibilities. Regardless, I think it’s important to keep a troubled past in mind when discussing a questionable character.

We know it’s been about eight or nine years-ish since the apocalypse started. (Clem was 8 when it started, and she was 11 when AJ was born. AJ is now 6 in the final season and Clem is 17.) Marlon is clearly older and confirmed 18-19, so he was 10-11 years old when the world went to hell. Imagine yourself at that age and no adult to help guide you because as we know they all but the nurse abandoned these kids. So a little kid stepped up to take care of many other kids when the adults left, and some kids died under his care and protection. (Not his fault though) As said a few times in the game there used to be a lot more of them, which means a lot of them died. Which that stress and trauma added onto Marlon’s mental issues.

2. The Twins

Let me say this; I don’t like what happened with Sophie and Minnie, but was there a choice? No. There was no right answer in this situation, the world is killed or be killed. Morals are out the window, only survival. I think Marlon caved to Lily and Able because of his trauma and fears, because of his past as mentioned above. He either said no and they all got kidnapped or killed, or he could give up two people to save the rest. Why didn’t they fight back like they did in the game? Because, as much as I love Marlon, he could never lead them and organize a battle like Clementine did. They NEEDED her, without her NONE of them would have made it. Why didn’t they go save him? Again they probably couldn’t do it without Clem, and as Marlon said he was afraid. He could die, they could all die or they could all get taken. Marlon thought he was doing the right thing. He should have told the truth of the fate of the twins, that they were kidnapped (because they were). Marlon is a coward, I’m not even going to pretend he isn’t, he knows he is. Marlon’s fear of losing his friends/family is what lead him to make the mistakes he did. He feared being casted out, them becoming angry at him, or even death(them and him).

I think it would have been interesting to see in the game Marlon witnessing what Minnie became, what he had done. To realize even more how badly he fucked up. Though unfortunately he didn’t get to see what he had done, nor was he given the chance to try to atone his mistakes; to make it up to everyone, or redeem himself.

3. Brody + Trading Aj and Clem

“He killed Brody!” “He hit/hurt Brody!” I KNOW. I’m not happy with what happened between Marlon and Brody either. We know Marlon has anger issues. We know when he gets scared he gets mad (As Brody told us) But, we also know her death was accidental. As soon as Marlon hits her he instantly regrets it and feels remorse, so much so he even goes into denial that he can save her. I fully believe he did not go into the basement with intent of hurting or killing Brody, he never wanted to hurt anyone. “He was going to trade Clem and Aj!” I doubt he saved them with an intent to trade them, I don’t think it even crossed his mind until the run in with Abel. I don’t blame him either, why give up friends you’ve known for years when you can give up two strangers.

4. Marlon’s Death + Alt choices

Obviously his death was supposed to leave an unfinished business kinda vibe, which is dumb as hell in my opinion. I also think it’s very random of Aj to automatically shoot Marlon but not Abel? Like if he was going to kill anyone without warning it should have been the guy who was armed the entire time, not the dude who dropped the gun and was no longer a problem. It goes against everything Clementine taught Aj, and it just feels really rushed and unnecessary. I know Marlon’s death is what pushed the plot forward, but I think there were other ways to go about it. Like if you chose to kick him out, Clem and Louis/Violet could escort him out (like Violet and Louis did to Clem and Aj) and that’s when they have the run in with Lily and Abel. Obviously different out comes for what yoy decided to do with Marlon, so his death wasn’t necessary. The writers would have just had to taken more creative liberties and shit.

I think it would have been more impactful for Aj’s Chad is Marlon lived. It would be an opportunity to teach him that some people can change, that sometimes people can be redeemed. Marlon wasn’t a monster that deserved to be gunned down after being disarmed, something I think Aj could learn. (Lily’s situation was vastly different. Lily would always be a threat, she would have come back for revenge and needed to die). It would have been interesting to see Marlon during the battle against the raiders (probably after being coaxed to fight by the player) and maybe he was one of the people to get kidnapped. (As I stated before him seeing what Minnie became would be intriguing.) Once aboard the ship Marlon refuses to leave the cell, believing he deserves this. Then the player can talk him out of leaving or chose to leave him in the cell. Or at least give Marlon a better death, dying a hero to atone for his mistakes. Maybe instead of Louis/Violet at the bridge, it was Marlon who throws Tenn across and sacrifices himself to the walkers or tries to stop Minerva.

Final Thoughts.

Is Marlon a perfect character? No. Absolutely not. He made mistakes, stupid decisions and has flaws, that’s what makes him such a well rounded character. I always dive deep into characters, never taking them at face value which is something I think more people should do. I just find it a little strange people will beat down Marlon, but turn around and defend Minerva when she wanted to kill her own little brother(I don’t hate Minnie either). Marlon feels like wasted potential and I wish we could have gotten more development around him and his character.

I appreciate everyone who read this post and I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions! I hope you all have a great day/night!

What are your thoughts on Marlon?

What would toy so if you were in his position, would you trade the twins away?

What would you want to happen if Marlon lived?

#TWDG #TWDG Marlon #TWDG character discussion #character discussion #twdg final season #twdg clementine #twdg violet #twdg s4 #twdg louis #twdg aj #twdg minerva #twdg minnie #twdg tenn #twdg the final season

[stickstone]

goreclan part 4, end of year 2! dear god this clan grew a lot in 6 moons

Roachstar - leader of GoreClan. bloodthirsty. has been getting older and frequently reconsiders her life choices and seems to regret becoming leader. i wonder if this has anything to do with her husband’s new friend

Daisyhollow - deputy of GoreClan. bloodthirsty. had a great moon and became extremely close with a rogue who joined the clan… Pushee

Cougardawn - medic of GoreClan. lonesome. more overworked than ever with a greencough outbreak taking over the camp, no deaths yet everyone’s been recovering well, but i imagine the stress is getting to him. not helping matters is the love triangle he has found himself at the center of

Pushee - warrior of GoreClan. ambitious. only been in the clan for 4 moons and has established themself as Daisyhollow’s most trusted friend. which is. convenient. given their ambition. and Roachstar’s age. also i think their name is extremely funny

Sandwichbright - warrior of GoreClan. strange. has developed romantic feelings for Cougardawn, which i guess is fair given how frequently the two go on patrols. Cougardawn reciprocates these feelings but. there is another…

Leafwhisker & Splashheart - warriors of GoreClan. fierce and bloodthirsty. how are they not divorced yet their hate for each other keeps increasing. no children by the mountain goats

Rainsnout. warrior of GoreClan. former leader of ???Clan. playful. Rainsnout i have so many questions. he was apparently the leader of another clan before he got bored/overwhelmed, so he retired early. additionally. Rainsnout has developed reciprocated romantic feelings for Cougardawn. and a rivalry with Sandwichbright. this guy is extremely interesting to me i’m dying to know more

Nettle. warrior of GoreClan. wise. joined the clan alongside her 3 kits a moon ago. haven’t gotten much of an impression on her personality yet but she seems nice

Weaselbloom & Braveclaw. warriors of GoreClan. shameless and charismatic. they finally became mates while both of them were sick with greencough. both of them recovered and their relationship is going great

Thymemuzzle. warrior of GoreClan. lonesome. congratulations to Thymemuzzle for becoming a single dad. by the looks of it he had an affair with an outsider and thus: Lowkit. he’s a bit distant with Lowkit, but she has a very high opinion of him

Bristlepelt. warrior of GoreClan. bold. he didn’t really do much besides get greencough and survive it

Turtleburrow & Wolftooth. warrior of GoreClan. wise and daring. hate each other now. they got into an argument in camp and they just fully hate each other now. sibling rivalries make me sad

Whisperingshade. warrior of GoreClan. sneaky. she’s a full warrior now and my god is she wonderful. also her name + the sneaky trait is perfect i love when randomly generated things work out like this

Goldenclaw. elder of GoreClan. confident. has not yet recovered from greencough. i’m worried because this guy is 157 moons so he is extremely old

Lowkit. kit of GoreClan. inquisitive. Thymemuzzle’s kit, she is extremely curious and keeps on asking older cat’s questions. very cute

Greenkit, Marigoldkit, & Loudkit. kits of GoreClan. bullying, impulsive, and inquisitive. not much else to say here because they are infants

overall good moon and honestly surprised no one’s died yet

#goreclan #warrior cats #clangen #clangen ocs #wc ocs

[amazing-spiderling]

For the fic writer asks,

🌿how does creating make you feel?

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

🧿what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

<3

🌿how does creating make you feel?

Ahh... wow... well, sometimes during, a little stressed, ngl. That's probably why I enjoy working on projects with friends and sharing things so much- having someone to bounce ideas off of and work with helps take some of the pressure off, but I also don't want to let them down, so it keeps me engaged even when things get challenging. Then after a project gets shared/posted, there's an immediate sense of relief- like whew! I can take it easy for a day. (Or the, "nobody ever ask me for anything ever again" feeling haha). And over time, that relief turns to satisfaction, especially as I look back after a long time and thing, "Wow, yeah. I did that."

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

I wrote a fic for a recent Metal Gear Solid zine called, "Dance Like You Want to Win", (an Evangelion reference I've been dying to use in an MGS fic for years). It was based on an idea I had for a story that was over a decade old, and I actually found part of my original draft collecting dust in the bottom of my google docs. I hadn't written for the fandom in a LONG time, and I was really worried about my characterization, the world-building, and having to write *action* scenes in a mission fic, neither of which are my forte. I was really worried people were going to read it and think I'd lost my touch.

But in the end, people liked it! I actually got compliments on the banter and overall, way more love than I was expecting, even some comments when I finally posted it to AO3. It felt like old times, and that really warmed my heart. <3

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

The story in question is "Kind of Cool" which is a mashup of sorts of two webcomics by Kieran Thompson, "This is the Worst Idea You've Ever Had" and "Cuanta Vida" which was a TF2 fancomic. I had to read over it, because I'd forgotten what it was about, honestly. XD

The TLDR is that two characters in TITWIYEH (a modern magic story) had a few familiar faces from Cuanta Vida (with names! and much happier fates), so I had two characters discussing their non-serious theory that linguistics professor Jordi Betrand was actually a French spy- the joke being that the man is so softspoken and gentle, he's clearly nothing of the sort. I did get a chuckle from myself at this

The young man shook his head again, running weary fingers through his shaggy blonde hair. "Nicole, Professor Jordi Bertrand has got to be the most unassuming and boring man on the entire planet. I doubt he's ever experienced anything more exciting than a birthday party in his entire life- and not even a surprise party! Like a regular one with invitations where everyone knows when and where to go."

A lot of the humor in this fic is reliant on people having read both comics... which explains why it has a whopping 2 kudos, but even after a decade, the easter eggs are still pinging in my brain, so I guess that means I hid some good ones. XD

🧿what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

Oh, gosh. Hm. Sometimes, I'm a big believer in "being the change you want to see in the world" when it comes to fandom and creative works. If you can't find the thing you want, make it- and that includes your own hype. If I want a story to get a little more attention, I might do some artwork for it (or commission some if I'm able) to hopefully pique people's interest. I might also do stuff like record podfics or something. But usually, the "next step" is to just move on to the next project and hope it gets a warmer reception.

I've found that trying to work too hard to cater to other people's wants just to get the reception I want doesn't always go to plan- or worse, I might get lots of comments and kudos, but it feels hollow because I feel like I'm being told, "you're really good at knowing what we will like" instead of "you are really good at writing and expressing this idea"- so over time, I've gotten a lot more comfortable making things for me. That way I'm guaranteed at least one person will like it, in the end. And even my "weird" fics are eventually found by people who appreciate them- and that really means a lot.

#thanks for the ask! #sorry it took me a bit

[the-time-travelers-admirer]

Ya know? When I said I believe I know Five better than his creators it's because I'm good at reading people and processing and analyzing information that has been presented to me.

And because of this I see Five as he truly is.

He has good deeply rooted morals

He wants a deep intimate connection and love like he had with Dolores with someone else

He loves and wants to be loved

He hates killing and has only done it because he was manipulated/coerced into doing it and also did to defend himself and his family

Enjoys his alcohol, but sometimes drinks to relieve stress and at Luther's wedding he drank heavily to bury his sorrow of deep seeded loneliness because everyone had someone to pair off with in some way but him

He actually has a warm soft tender loving heart and demeanor towards you if he feels you are someone he can trust or you are someone important to him/someone he loves

He's actually interested in women in both a romantic and sexual manner

He is extremely selfless to the point he puts himself in dangerous situations and gets hurt

He's been treated the worst by all of his family members except for Klaus (Examples being: called names, treated like an asshole, Luther went to throw Dolores out a window on purpose as a manipulative tactic, disregarded, dismissed, has been blamed for things that were never his fault, patronized, grabbed, threatened, invalidated, and thrown off stairs)

He's been badly injured and has come close to dying the most

He's clever, resourceful, confident, self assured, resilient, witty, sarcastic, loving, soft, selfless, lonely, ambitious, warm, kind, sentimental, caring, loyal, committed, a good leader, has a sense of humor, and so much more

He has anyone's back when he sees them as important to him, but no one has ever truly had his

He's willing to give people the benefit of the doubt/forgiveness even if they have hurt him or has tried to hurt him before because he wants to see the good in people, except his father

He loves to relax, dance, sing, let loose, enjoy a nice drink, loves coffee, and wants to see the sights he's missed out on all his life via long road trips

Enjoys comfortable old man clothes and hats, but likes to wear suits to look professional, especially when he wants to be taken seriously

His biggest love languages are quality time, physical touch, and act of service, though he has trouble with words of affirmation and freezes when people use words of affirmation towards him because he's used to people fluffing him up to make him easier to manipulate

He adopts people as his friends and family if he feels he can trust them/doesn't find them as a threat to himself or his family(those people being Hazel and Elliott) or has seen him at his most lowest and vulnerable(that person in particular being Lila)

By default, he is softly polite to everyone he meets unless they give him a reason not to be and or test his patience

He'd always rather deescalate a situation with words and communication unless he knows he can't because he hates killing and fighting and always wants to avoid violence, getting hurt, and hurting others as much as necessary

He always tries to think of everything and everyone over himself

He always tries to bury his needs and feelings and sees himself as unimportant compared to everyone else

He clearly has PTSD and flashbacks from living in the apocalypse and from when he was forced to be an assassin

He is terrified to ever be alone again and being around people, around crowds, at parties, and around his family is his element

He is actually very extroverted, he just seems introverted because when he doesn't know someone he's silent and judging and analyzing someone or a situation

He's willing to sacrifice someone he deeply cares for for the greater good even if it would tear him apart...

He's come extremely close to crying several times but hasn't allowed himself time to cry or grieve for anything that has happened to him, that he has experienced, or that he has been through because saving the world and keeping his family alive will always come first no matter what

He's always willing to listen to someone talk about their feelings and experiences or is willing to talk to someone about his own when they take the time to actually sit with him, talk with him, and make him feel listened to, validated, and seen

If you show him any ounce of kindness or make him feel like you actually genuinely care, love, and like him he returns the same tenfold, except towards his father

He loves to use pet names and words/names of endearment, whether loving or sarcastic

There is so much more I'm sure, but this is just from watching the show and actually paying attention to him. This is Five Hargreeves, the old man with a tender loving sentimental heart of gold who just wants love and peaceful life.

#the time travelers admirer #five hargreeves #the umbrella academy #tua #tua five #the retiring time traveler

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

HI HELLO EXCUSE ME I JUST SAW THE TAGS ON YOUR LAST POST ABOUT THE POTTERY SHARDS VERSE? HE GASLIGHTS CAPTAIN AMERICA?? AND YOU CUT IT OUT????? DO YOU CARE TO ELABORATE???? I love love loooove your pottery shards and acts of... verses sooo so so much btw absolute masterpieces. It is so hard to find anything about Jack Murdock but he is just so interesting please. Also pottery shards??? mwah i love it. I usually avoid mcu stuff bc peter is always stripped down to some spineless kid, but he is SO MUCH MORE. plus it's so funny like god

It wasn’t in pottery shards. Explanation below the cut.

The scene came from a fic I have planned and partially written but no idea if I’ll ever publish. The idea was that Bucky, post Winter Soldier, ends up recovering with the vigilante community of New York, which results in Peter Parker becoming ferally protective of him. This Peter is extremely productive, mildly insane, terrible at communication, and a total ride or die. Every adult in his life is terrified as to what he is doing at any given moment, because it could be anything, and Peter will not tell them until it has already happened. he just keeps doing things and he will not fucking tell them what those things are. 

as a side note, bucky in this AU adores peter to his dying breath, and he has never been more stressed out in his life. it’s like a tiny steve who has the power to fling himself off buildings and is even worse about sharing relevant information in a timely fashion--and steve let the army fucking experiment on him without letting his good ol’ pal bucky know that his last enlistment attempt worked. bucky has aged a thousand years since meeting peter. he would be stressed all day, every day, seven days a week, but he gets to time share his stress with frank castle, which alleviates some pressure. 

Bucky hadn’t reached out to Steve at this point—who was tearing apart the world looking for him—and Peter was a very firm believer in bucky’s right to heal on his own timeline. So, when Steve spots Bucky near one of their old haunts in Brooklyn, he’s elated, and Bucky is less than elated.

Peter, who was coming to meet bucky, takes exception to this fact.

He just sort of gets in Steve’s way in the street, acting like a random passer-by, and Steve, in his rush to get to bucky, grabs him by his bare forearms to move him out of the way when Peter keeps getting in his path. This is, of course, exactly what Peter wants, because he immediately activates his stickiness and Steve now physically cannot let go of this obvious child.

Peter immediately proceeds to give an Oscar winning performance of “terrified child in the process of being kidnapped, please, please, this isn’t my dad, someone save me.” He tries to fuck off immediately after, but he gets snagged by Sam and dragged into Avengers tower for questioning as to what the hell he just did, how the hell he just did it, and how is he involved with bucky.

Peter decides the only way out is through and that he just has to lean into the kidnapped child thing. He just. Immediately starts gaslighting the fuck out of everyone. He didn’t do anything, that’s insane, their theory is that he can, what—become sticky at will and somehow force captain America to drag him around by the arms? he’s fourteen and an honor student and he wants his aunt, oh god is he actually kidnapped by the avengers. He cries. It’s mildly humiliating.

It’s also extremely convincing, because like. He’s fourteen and an honor student. he’s crying. Why would this random child have any affiliation with the winter soldier? And what could he have done to make Steve grab him by the arms and drag him around—become sticky at will? That’s insane.

So he convinces everyone that Steve saw someone who was just a bucky lookalike on the street, snapped, had a nervous breakdown, lost control of his own strength, and almost kidnapped a fucking child. Including Steve. Steve also thinks he had a breakdown and almost accidentally kidnapped a child. But, good news, Peter really really doesn’t want to be on Ellen as the kid who almost got Datelined by Captain America, so he’d love to just go home and never talk about this ever, please and thank you. they really lucked out of a lawsuit, if you think about it. So he manages to gaslight them into letting peter go with their profuse apologies, and they’re actively making plans to ship Steve off to a wellness retreat on one of Tony’s tropical estates, because obviously the stress of hydra and looking for bucky has just been too much for him. He snapped and almost caused the most difficult to explain PR scandal ever. 

This, of course, all fails, because Peter accidentally unlocks his phone with Face ID while they’re giving him back his stuff, and a photo of him with Bucky is his home screen. He is very high intelligence, very low wisdom.

“Huh,” says Peter, into the damning silence. “I almost gaslit my way out of that like a girlboss.”

And then he immediately shoved his phone down his pants and announced that he would personally make sure that anyone who went after it would never be allowed in a school zone again. It devolves from there.

I loved it. It was so funny. It was peak chaos. Peter will never apologize for his actions. Foggy tries to get him to, and Peter says “I’m not sorry and I would do it again” and Foggy has to be like “HAHAH kids say the darnedest things please don’t press charges.” Matt keeps having to leave the room to laugh. Karen gets all teary-eyed with pride whenever Peter does does anything illegal, so she’s useless at scolding him. I had to scrap it in the end because it was a very big narrative point—Steve finding bucky again—that could be used in much more effective ways. It was devastating but made for a stronger plot.

I fully agree—a lot of fandom makes peter like, pretty spineless and helpless. I think there’s a big difference between making him young and making him a damsel which a lot of fanfiction misses. I, personally, like him insane. Ironically, pottery shards peter is probably the tamest peter i have in my drafts. 

Jack murdock was this lasting point of interest for me where I desperately wanted a fanfiction where he lived and there just really wasn’t a lot of options. Lying by Omission by deniigiq was really the only thing that had fun with an alive Jack murdock, but I really, really wanted a Jack who just managed to survive canon. Roscoe Sweeney taking Matt instead was the obvious choice, which—it has such fascinating implications for guilt that I was obsessed. I’m glad you also like it.

I’m glad you’re enjoying pottery shards and acts! Thank you for the kind words!

#pottery shards #acts of contrition verse #i guess spoilers for a trashed version of a fic i may never write? #it was a kill your darlings moment

[arrieebooks]

Precious Weapon (6)

Pairing : Lloyd Hansen x F!OC (Elle) x Sierra Six.

Summary : Two weeks into their mission and everything's going peachy for them. But, the CIA wants her to do more now. She spirals, trying to make a decision as she tries to distract herself from reality — old habits die hard.

Warnings : Politics. Explosion. Fire. Mentions of drugs and murder. Anxiety. Hidden stress and depression. Arguing. More arguing with both men. Angst. Heavy smut. Threesome. Anal sex. P in V sex. Really rough smut. Pain kink. Lewd. Violence. Gore. Murder. Implied attempted suicide. Pills. Injuries. Guns. Death. Blood. More gore.

Word count : 14k words.

Author's note : This chapter has been on my mind for weeks. Personally, I loved this chapter and it only took me about a week to write. Let me know if you enjoyed it! My asks and comment sections are always open <;3.

***

Boom

The blast she created explodes the whole of the warehouse as she watches from in front of it. A smirk slowly grows on her lips.

She's busting one of the biggest and worst drug rings in her city that has manufactured and distributed it in other developing countries. 

They have framed innocents, labored children and young women and murdered them once the job is done, stole from the poor, bribed and threatened anyone who saw them, tortured a whole lot of innocents, and forced teenagers to buy their drugs and end up dying of an overdose because of them. They have gotten away with everything until now. 

In the past, she tried to get them after her parents left but she didn't have any resources for that so she failed. She witnessed the damage they did on the people around her and to everyone else in this city. No one did anything about it because they were too scared. So, she wanted to help.

Now, she is helping. The drugs and their money are all burned. The police will be here soon to arrest the people once they wake up from the impact of her knocking them down. They have enough evidence for them to rot in jail for life. The entire police force has been trying to catch them for years. And she did it in a day. 

She could do all this now just because of help from the CIA. She got strong intel from them, extra protection, a getaway car and a safe place to get home. She would've never been able to do this without all that.

She's very damn resourceful now. She's a lot stronger now, too. Because of training and lessons. And she doesn't even need to protect herself because she has two very dangerous men for that. She knew that joining the CIA would eventually have a lot of benefits. And this is it. 

She drifts her eyes away from the burning building, her fingers reaching out to her comms inside her ears. She presses it but she doesn't hear anything. Must've gone off when she exploded the place. Again. 

She sighs, rolling her eyes. They really need to get more advanced comms that could withstand a blast. It's happened four times now. It is starting to get annoying for her.

Out of a sudden, she hears two heavy footsteps approaching from behind and she immediately startles, clenching her fists before turning around and—

Lloyd widens his eyes and raises his hands. "Woah, relax. It's just us. Your comms are off again. We really need to get better ones." he complains while walking towards her with Six by his side.

She relaxes her face and her whole body. It's just them. She's glad it's just them. She really doesn't want to hurt anyone else today. She's very tired. 

They're both so calm and composed. They're clean too, in their usual formal clothes for missions. Meanwhile her clothes are all dirty and a little blood here and there. Her hair's all messy too. She tied into a ponytail earlier but it's slowly getting out of it. She didn't dress up so she only wore some black pair of jeans and a black shirt. She knew it would get all dirty anyway. 

She scoffs, chuckling. "Yeah, you think? Mission's done. I need a bath and a lot of food." Elle demands.

Six smiles at her and this is probably the first time he's ever smiled in a mission. He's always taken all his missions seriously and never once has he ever had the time to even think to smile. Technically, he didn't do anything in this mission but knocked down a few guys at the back entrance and then hid nearby. For him, that isn't really considered a mission for her. She did all the work mostly. 

"Mission accomplished, huh? You wanted this, right? For years. And in just a day, you destroyed everything they have. You ruined them, Elle. You're fucking amazing." Lloyd praises her in a proud tone as he smirks at her. 

He's so proud of her. Never been prouder. He trained her right. She followed every single order from him and the chief. She even talked to all the field agents. She really wanted this mission to work and it did. When she's ambitious about something, she'll always get it. She works hard for anything she wants. 

Her lips stretch into a smile and nod. "Yeah. All thanks to you. And the CIA. The best part is, this is only the beginning. I will destroy every single thing like this that corrupts the city. I'm going to clean it up." she affirms, glaring up at them with an innocent smile like she isn't talking about murder and worse. 

"And we'll be right beside you." Lloyd adds with a sinister smile on his lips. He finally found his match. 

"That's nice. Not to interrupt this rare and seemingly creepy moment…but we gotta go. Like, now. The cops are almost here." Six breaks the news in a hurried tone.

"Why, you got a timer for that or something?" Lloyd asks him, frowning. 

Six nods. "Yeah, I do. I have it right here on my watch. And it says we only have about three minutes." he replies, showing the watch on his wrist to them.

She gulps, looking at both of them with wide eyes. "Okay, let's go." Elle declares, immediately walking away from the crime scene with both men following her.

She's right. It is just the beginning. 

***

The clear water makes tiny bubbles as her whole body slowly sinks inside the bathtub, drowning herself in the freezing cold water.

She holds her breath but doesn't feel suffocated. She feels relaxed. Calm. Better. She feels good. 

These past two weeks, she accomplished a lot of things. She did everything right. She helped the city. This has been her goal since the very beginning she knew about her powers. After seeing the heinous corruption in her own city, she wanted to fix it. Sure, it has never affected her personally. Because she has always been inside a bubble. 

Now, that bubble has popped. And she finally sees reality the way everyone else sees it here. Horrible. Cruel. Terrifying. But it is all real. 

"Elle? Shit. Elle! Please don't be dead. I can't do this shit without you—" Lloyd enters his bathroom and obviously panics when he sees her drowning herself in his bathtub. He immediately rushes to her and kneels down beside the tub. His voice is all muffled to her but she could already tell that it's him. 

She just wanted some peace and quiet. 

Finally, she lifts herself up from the water and breathes again, bracing her arms on both sides of the tub. He looks at her with a concerned and worried face like someone killed his dog. He doesn't even like dogs. She scowled at him for interrupting her relaxing moment. 

"I'm not dead, you idiot. It's physically impossible for me to drown. I'm just relaxing." Elle tells him.

Lloyd frowns and shakes his head. "Don't call me an idiot. You'll regret it. And you can't blame me for worrying. It was a damn sight seeing you drowned like that." His voice almost cracks.

She tilts her head and pouts. "Aw. You were worried for me. I'm glad to know that you care about me enough to not want me dead." Elle calmly says, that innocent smile tugging on her lips as she brushes her hair away from her face.

"I don't want you dead. You should know that by now." Lloyd states in a harsh tone. 

The only time he's completely honest about what he feels is when he's angry or panicking. But seeing her like that really made him…vulnerable. Even if it was just for a second. It really made him realize just how important and valuable she is to him. Not just to the mission. He can't imagine doing all these boring missions without her. She makes it so much better. He has someone to come home to. He would lose his damn mind and sanity if he ever loses her. He still doesn't even get why he cares so much. He's never cared this much. He's always one to not give a shit about anyone or anything. 

She nods. "I do. Just needed a little reminder." she pauses, realizing that if he's here in his bathroom then he was going to do something. "Oh, right. What were you doing here?" 

He exhales, regarding her with a relieved look. "Trying to find you. Figured you didn't go to Six's bathroom." 

"Yours is bigger." she answers, with a smirk. She's not just talking about his bathroom. His eyes look down at her naked body under the clear water. He observes her pretty neck and there's that necklace that he gave her, still attached onto her skin. She's never taken it off at all.

Lloyd lifts his eyebrows and matches her smirk. He knows she's in a mood for that right now. These past few weeks, she has been very active with him after every successful mission she did. It's like her secret kink or something. They've been doing it a lot. Way too much. Almost everywhere in the penthouse. But all of them are quickies. And it's not even the actual sex. They haven't had the time to relax and take their time while doing it. They've been too busy with all these missions. And they're both so focused on it. He's very disciplined when it comes to work. And she's always obeying orders in order for her missions to succeed. They're very serious about it. 

"Tomorrow's the weekend. So, it means we finally get to have time for ourselves right?" Elle asks him in a whining tone, her eyes practically pleading and begging at him. 

He hums in response, nodding. He rests his hands against the sides of the cold marble of the bathtub. Leaning forward onto her and their faces are so close that they could hear each other's breathing. "We have time tonight, too. You know, it's been a while since we're all together. Now, we're just taking turns with you. And it feels weird. I kinda hate it." Lloyd admits truthfully.

Her lips curve into an easy and calm smile before she leans against the tub and relaxes her whole body. "It is weird. I missed that time. Our first time. That was the only time. There wasn't a second time. But, I'm sure we'll have the time tonight."

"How is Six? I mean, in bed. Not how he's doing. I know how he's doing." He ends up rambling. 

She bites her bottom lip and giggles. "You're nervous." she accuses.

He frowns. "No, I'm not. It was just a question." he defends. He is nervous.

She nods, taking a second to think. "Well, he's gentle. You saw it during our first time. He has kinks, too. Just not as much as yours or mine. And…he's slightly bigger than you. He's quiet. Doesn't groan or moan a lot like you." Elle tells him with a teasing tone while she listens in on his heartbeat — it's pounding and throbbing. 

Lloyd tilts his head, growing even more interested in the conversation. She really matches his energy. He likes to tease and she does too. She knows how to fuel him. He hums softly as his hand slips into the water and reaches for her thighs, gripping them tightly. 

She gasps softly and he watches her, amused. "Hm. What else?" He continues to play along with her game as his hand slowly moves up to her inner thigh. "What is his favorite position?" he asks.

He doesn't even know why he's asking specific questions about him. This is not just about her anymore. Maybe—just maybe, he's grown intrigued with the man. They have a deep connection, too. They know each other so well already. They both have never had someone this close before. A friend, a companion. Someone they could trust, to tell everything with and share anything. They're only willing to share her because it's not anyone else. In missions, they secretly trust each other enough to put their lives at risk for the other. They work together so well. 

Elle sighs softly. "We don't go wild. It's more of a comfort thing. To help us sleep better. So like, he puts in and then we go to sleep. Or, we do it slowly and gently and eventually fall asleep. That's why I always sleep with him every night. I find comfort in him." she admits.

No. This was supposed to be a passionate and hot moment. Not some painful realization for him. But somehow, anyhow, he still feels deflated by how she doesn't feel comfortable enough or trust him enough to seek comfort in him. So he's just for the fun and wild and kinky sex. While Six does almost everything with her like what a couple does. He knows they're definitely not a couple. But they're so inseparable and share a connection that no one would be able to understand. They know what each other needs all the time and what they're always feeling or thinking. They often communicate with their eyes and their faces. 

He kinda feels like a third wheel or an extra in their so-called partnership. He doesn't even know why he's fussing so much that he's not included in them. He didn't even want a relationship. He hates it. Having to be with someone for a long time, sharing every single thing with them, sleeping in the same bed with them every night and showering with them everyday. He hated it. Now, he's finding himself caring so fucking much. About them. About how they exclude him a lot and he'd like it better if he could do the things that they do too. But he'd never admit it out loud.

She frowns, tipping her head to the side. "You good? You blanked out for a second there." she asks, grabbing his hand and dragging it onto her clit as she moans softly. "What are you thinking? Some fantasies I'd want to know about? Maybe another kink? We could try something new. You could tie me up. Oh, or we could try it somewhere else new—"

Lloyd cuts her off, removing his hand from her and taking it out of the water. "Fuck, I forgot to tell you. We're going out for dinner after this. Six wanted you to pick a nice place. But preferably not the mall." he seriously says before standing up. By his tone, she could tell that he's not teasing her. He's actually serious. Something must've snapped inside of him, she thinks.

She opens her mouth, blinking confusedly. "W–what? We were in the middle of something, Lloyd. What the hell is wrong with you? I thought you wanted this as much as I do." She snaps.

He rolls his eyes, ignoring her whining. "You don't have to be dramatic about it. We could do it later. It's already 6pm, Elle. It'd be hard to get a table on a Friday night if we don't hurry up." Lloyd coldly says, avoiding eye contact.

She hates being called dramatic. It's called feelings and emotions. It's completely normal to feel that. At least for her. Not him. He doesn't feel all that. He can't. 

She rolls her eyes, getting out of the tub, still bare naked and he doesn't even bother to look down at her like he usually does. He just stares into her eyes and his gaze bores into her. He can't tell her what's actually going on or what he really wants. He doesn't even know if he wants what he thinks he does. Perhaps it's just a momentary desire that's only going to last for today and he'll forget about it tomorrow. 

She shakes her head in disbelief. "See, this is why." 

"Why what?" Lloyd argues, scowling. 

"The reason why I don't depend on you for everything. Why I haven't slept in your bed. Why I don't fully trust you yet. Why haven't we done anything more than stupid silly sex. You're not being serious about this. You think it's just a fun little game. That's why I haven't done all that with you. You know, in case you were wondering." Elle finally snaps, her tone harsh. 

He frowns deeper. It's like she read his mind — she didn't. She's just been burying the truth inside her this whole time. Waiting for him to give her a reason to finally tell him. And he did. But she thinks he doesn't care about all that. He's fine with not doing all that with her. He's just in it for the sex and he doesn't want to do it with anyone else in this damn city.

Lloyd shakes his head, clenching his jaw. "That's not true, no. I—I do want that. Maybe, but—" he stammers. He's having a hard time trying to tell her what he actually wants when he has no clue about it.

She scoffs loudly, already proving her point. "Yeah, see. You're not even sure what you want. I could see it. You don't care that much about me or this or us. Not unless it concerns yourself or the sex." Elle accuses, sharply. 

He exhales. "What's with that anyway? You wanted this shit. You were the one who proposed this to me two weeks ago!" Lloyd yells at her. 

She scowls, scoffing again. "Fuck you, Lloyd. Really. Go fuck yourself. I'm tired of being your little sex doll. I want more, don't you get it? Everything I've fucking been through—it's the only thing I've ever wanted. Not just sex. It's what Six has been able to give me." She clarifies, her voice cracks.

"Well, I didn't sign up for anything more." Lloyd harshly retorts, earning another scoff from her.

She widens her eyes in shock, shaking her head. "Yeah, let's go to fucking dinner. I'm starving." Elle retorts back, grabbing a towel from the rack beside the tub and wrapping it around her. She turns away from him and starts walking towards the exit. 

Lloyd slightly flinches as she slams the bathroom door, hard. It's all his fault and he knows that. He needs to fix this.

***

The car ride has been completely silent. 

She told their driver where they're going, a chill restaurant a little far from here but at least it's not going to be crowded and it's a good place. 

Lloyd focuses on his phone, distracting himself to not mess things up more with her. He already knows he needs to fix it, he's just trying to find the right time and place for that. Definitely not here and not now.

She brought a book with her to keep her mind off of him too. She doesn't want to be the one to fix everything. It's always what she has been to everyone in her life and she's tired of it. She's so sick of it. She wants him to fix it himself so she'll know that he's trying to be better, at least. She knows that he would usually not apologize or even try to fix it. But she's putting her hope in him this time.

Suddenly, Six looks down at the title of the book she's reading and chuckles. "New one? We haven't even finished the last one." he comments casually and that made Lloyd side glance them. 

Before bed, sometimes, they read a book together. They almost share the same interests. She likes to read about moral life values, tragic romance, murder mystery and history. They'd just lay in bed with her head resting on his chest while they took turns reading it out loud, sleepily until they fell asleep. It's not exactly romantic but it's something they've never done before with anyone and it makes it special for them. 

She puts down the book on her lap and darts her eyes at him, smiling lightly. "Yeah, sorry. I just saw this one at the bookstore and had to read it immediately." 

Six nods quietly. "It's okay. We could start reading this one tonight, if you want." he offers.

Her smile widens. "Sure. I'd love that." 

Lloyd turns to them. "Book club, huh? Didn't know you were into all that, Six." he teases him. 

Before Six could even answer, she looked at him with a tired face. "We really love reading. Plus, it comforts me. A lot." she answers, bitterly. It may not sound bitter but he knows exactly what she's talking about. 

No. He can't fight back. He can't retort. He needs to control his rage. Contain it so he could change and be better. Be the bigger person. That's what she wants him to be. Not the old Lloyd who'd just keep on arguing back with her and never stop until she gives up. He wanted to change for long, just never had a big enough reason to. Now he does. It's just up to him how to become better. If he's even capable of it, that is. 

"We should do that too. I mean, all three of us. I like books." Lloyd says, his tone trying to convince himself and them. So far going well. He does like books, he just hasn't had the time to actually read them and enjoy it.

She stares up at him confusedly like he has two heads or something. She leans closer onto him, her fingers touching his hand to make sure this is real and she isn't hallucinating anything. It is real because he touches her hand back before intertwining their fingers together. She knows it's not exactly an apology but at least it's a start. It's progress. He didn't make it worse by arguing back. She was right to put her hope in him. 

Her lips slowly turn into a relieved smile. "Yeah? What books do you like, then?" 

"Anything. I'm good with any." he quickly replies.

She relaxes her face. "Okay. Good. Well, just to be clear, I prefer books written and made by women. I meant that objectively, of course." she cutely argues. 

Lloyd's lips smirks and smiles. "Good. You know what you like, sunshine." 

Elle nods. "Hope you do too. You know, the books. It's important to know what you want to make a decision…to what books you want to read." she softly advises, definitely not hinting about the books.

She isn't talking about the books and he knows that. His smile still lingers on his lips for her. She's the only main reason why he smiles. She doesn't even know that. She has no idea how wrong she was when she told him that he doesn't care that much about her. So wrong. He'd burn this fucking city down if anything were to happen to her while she was trying to save this godforsaken city. 

Six remains clueless. But he doesn't mind, as long as they're not fighting or arguing again. He likes to see them happy. It's so much better this way. They both deserve it.

He rests his hand on her thigh before scooting closer to her and planting a soft kiss on her cheek. "Love this side of both of you." Six whispers really softly but they could both hear it. 

They quietly smile in the darkness of the car while the city lights luminate on them.

***

At the restaurant, it's nearly quiet. It's almost romantic. 

It's outdoorsy. Candlelight. Western food. Wines are served. Everyone who is here are either couples or a nice little family. It's not even loud here or crowded. This is probably the only not shitty and less chaotic restaurant they've ever been to in this city.

The chilly air sinks into their skin and for the first time in weeks, it's finally not humid anymore at night. They're seated at a nice quiet table on the third floor, in the balcony. There's not one single person here. More people downstairs. And Lloyd may or may not have booked this little balcony just for them. He wanted a quiet and calm place to talk to her properly.

She took a seat across from Lloyd with Six is between them. She ordered for them because she knows what they like already and what they prefer more. 

They settle into their seats while watching the view of the city from up here. There's not much traffic here. Not too chaotic too. They haven't heard a single honk from a car or motorcycle or even people. It's an almost quiet part of the city. The rich part, to be more precise. She's never gone here before, only passing by it. She picked this place because she knew how good the reviews were for the restaurant and that Lloyd would probably want to eat at someplace where he could actually spend his money. This is also their first time in two weeks finally dining in a restaurant. 

Lloyd gazes at her openly, silently admiring how beautiful she looks tonight. She's in a white slim crop top that doesn't show her full stomach and a short, pink flowy skirt. She didn't have the time to dry her hair from the bath earlier so it's still wet. Her lips are a little dry. Her face is bare too. She didn't put anything on because she really was in a hurry to not get here too late so they could have a table. 

Sometimes, she's a little carefree when she wants to be. She doesn't care what clothes she's wearing or if she's wearing makeup or not or if her hair is neat and curled. She used to care about those little things. But now, she only cares about what makes her comfortable and feel good. That's more important for her. 

"Hey…we need to talk." Lloyd breaks their peace. But it needs to be done. She knew this moment would come tonight anyway.

She turns her head to him from the view and nods. "Yes. We do." she softly agrees.

Six frowns, looking at both of them. "Why? Did something happen?" he asks them.

Lloyd glances at him. "We had a little fight in my bathroom earlier," he explains to him.

She sighs, leaning forward onto her seat to get closer to him. "Look, Lloyd, it was wrong of me to expect you to offer me comfort. I mean, I haven't even asked you if you wanted it too. In order for something to work better, two parties have to agree on it. I'm sorry…for being stubborn." she apologizes.

"I do want it. But I just don't want to fuck it up." He finally tells her the truth. It felt good, for once in his life. 

She shakes her head, regarding him with a soft look as her hands reach his that is on the table. "You won't. If we do it right. Slowly. Baby steps." Elle suggests and he gives her a short and understanding nod, completely agreeing with her. Something he thought he'd never do.

"I still don't know what's going on here." Six interjects, glancing at both of them confusedly.

She looks at him. "I want to trust him as much as I do to you. I want him to comfort me like you do. Not just some fun here and there. So, we fought and—" she tries to explain.

Lloyd cuts her off. "And now we're solving it. Making progress. This is good." 

She nods at him, her lips slowly forming into a smile for him. "You're making progress too, you know." 

"I know. It's all for you." Lloyd bluntly confesses, the words coming out of his mouth even surprises himself and his tone is so much softer than usual. She is changing him. Slowly. 

He knows he can't exactly completely change. That's impossible. He has been who he is since the beginning of dawn. There is absolutely no miracle that would magically change him into a better man or a better person in general. But he doesn't want to change himself. Not fully, at least. He could still hide the dark parts in him and show the necessary ones only. Almost like what Six has been doing with her. Hiding the real him under all the comfort he's giving her. He doesn't really offer comfort, he just gives her what she needs when she needs it. But in truth, he has no idea what comfort even is. He's starting to learn from her, though.

"We'll take it slow. But…we could start by finally fucking on your bed, for one. And not just on the couch, or my bed or the kitchen counter or against the window or the bathroom—" Elle teases him out loud before he cuts her off.

Lloyd breaks into a laugh. "Okay, okay, I get it! To be fair, those weren't actually the real deal. It was…silly shit that we did. But you didn't fucking deserve that. You're too precious to be fucked against anything that's not a bed." he admits, quietly staring at her.

She giggles softly, leaning her hand on her chin. "Hm. Yeah, sure. Actually, not just us both on the bed. But with you too, Six. I missed us. All three of us." she tells him, her eyes focusing on him only now. 

Six's lips slowly form into a small smile as he gazes at her openly. He nods his head and holds her hand on the table. "Of course. I miss it too." He bluntly confesses and it's so rare for him to do this. He looks over at Lloyd for a split second and he gives Six a relieved look.

"Great! Now that our problem has been solved, I can finally talk about work." Lloyd annoyingly declares. It's not like he wants to talk about work either in this nice and peaceful moment, but he has to. He'll forget to tell them if he waits until they get home or tomorrow morning.

She groans, rolling her eyes as she darts her eyes to him. "Are you kidding me?" 

He nods. "I'll be quick. I promise." 

Six and Elle subtly gesture their head for him to continue on what he was about to say. Probably some announcement that Denny told him to pass it on to them. He's only ever talked to Lloyd or Six. Never to Elle. She just takes the orders. The guys do all the debriefs for her after every mission. She's sort-of relieved because she's a little intimidated by him and still has no idea why.

Lloyd clears his throat and she removes her hand from his. His fingers hold each other together, placing his hands almost professionally. She frowns, trying to figure him out. He's always somehow a mystery for her to crack. There are some things about him that she'll never be able to crack. 

He looks into her eyes seriously. "Alright so, based on all the missions you've successfully done these past few weeks, Denny thinks you're ready for the bigger fish. The high class criminals. The ones that no one suspects. Not even the police. The real roots of corruption in this city. This is what you wanted, right?" Lloyd informs them but mostly to her. This is big news for her, he knew that. 

Her face is puzzled. She's confused, a little relieved, a little happy but also a teensy bit scared and nervous. If she fucks it up, it would be bad for her and them. This is the real deal now. The big mission. The one she's thought about for months and months. 

She blinks curiously at him, leaning closer towards him as her body touches the table. "So…where do we start? Like, corrupt politicians and mayors? Or…the wealthier people who control everything or what? And how do we even catch them? We can't put them in jail because no one knows about their crimes and we can't just send them the evidence—" her voice turns anxious quickly. 

She's spiraling. She does this when she's both confused and scared. He thought that she'd be ecstatic with this news. He was the one who mentioned this first to Denny, to fry the bigger fish and he immediately agreed. He won't tell her that, though. He prefers to do things for her in private and not flaunt about it to her. He doesn't want her praise or approval. He just wants her to be safe and content. Even if she doesn't know anything. 

Six tries to calm her down by stroking her hand. "Elle, it's okay. We can slow down if you want." he suggests. 

Lloyd and him exchange agreeing looks and nods. "Yeah, we don't have to do it right away. It's up to you when you want it."

Elle gulps, shaking her head as she massages her temples. She looks at him in the eyes. "No, no, it's not that. I do want it now. I've been wanting it for a long time. I'm just asking, how are we going to do it?" she asks, glancing at both of them for answers.

He tries his best to say this as slowly as possible. "Well…we don't exactly put them in jail. If you want to get rid of something…what do you do?" Lloyd asks back for her to figure it out herself. He doesn't want to say the word out loud. It'll make it sound like he's the bad guy here. 

She frowns first, thinking about his riddle for a moment before raising her eyebrows in shock and widening her eyes as it finally dawns on her. Kill. You kill them if you want them gone. 

She gasps softly, shaking her head in denial as she leans further from him. "No. I'm not—no. I can't. There has to be some other way, Lloyd. I definitely did not sign up to just go and kill some people. There's too many of them." Elle lowers her voice, even though there's no one else here. Her voice almost cracks. She is terrified but she's trying to hide it from them. 

Lloyd clenches his jaw, leaning towards her. "Bad people, Elle. People who don't even care about other people's lives. Innocent lives. Don't you care about all that?" he asks her back.

She scoffs. "Of course, I do. But I'm—"

He cuts her off. "No, it's fine, we don't have to do it if you don't want it. I'll just tell Denny that we'll stick to low class criminals and drug dealers." Lloyd says to her, not in a sarcastic way. He genuinely means it if she wants it that way. He doesn't want to push her. 

Elle sighs. "No, don't. I do…want to try. But I need a little time. And I need to examine all their files first. If they have family or—" she anxiously says before he cuts her off again. 

She's thinking with her heart again. She can't keep doing that if she wants to actually clean the city like she wanted to. She needs to stop pretending like everything's still normal. It's not. She works for the CIA for a living now. That's nowhere near normal. She doesn't have a normal life anymore. She threw that away three weeks ago when she agreed to be the CIA's weapon. 

He shakes his head. "Don't think about that. They don't think about their family when they're murdering innocents. They'll never stop. Not unless you stop them first. I'm not into all the politics but I know that this is what you meant by cleaning up the city. Get rid of the corruptors, right?" 

She looks at him unsurely before slowly nodding shortly. "Yes…you're right. I just need some time." Elle tells him, softly.

Lloyd nods, understanding. "And we'll give you that. We have all the time in the world." he assures her.

Six glances at her and she quickly turns to him as he gives her a small smile. "We do." he agrees. 

They don't exactly have all the time in the world. They only have a few months and while that's going to be the longest they've stayed in one place before, it's still a short amount of time. Denny didn't specify when he said a few months. It could only be three months or four or five. And after that, they'll go their own ways and never see each other again. 

But they don't want to be reminded of that fact. They just want to keep living in the moment. Even if it won't last long.

***

They've finally arrived back at the penthouse after enduring hours of horrible traffic. 

Once they took their shoes off, Elle had immediately dragged all of them into Lloyd's bedroom and stripped them naked for her. She took control tonight, for the first time ever. And they let her.

She's almost distressed. She needs to make a decision as soon as possible about wanting to start killing the corruptors or not. She knows it's about catching the bigger fish and cleaning up the city. But she didn't think it was going to turn out like this. She thought that she could do it her way. But she was wrong. She doesn't get a say in this. No free will or whatsoever. 

It was all a blur for them. They didn't even have any preparations or foreplay. She just went right in. She needed to forget about it for tonight. She just wants to feel good. 

She's on top of Six already, sunk deep inside his cock while she rides him a little faster than usual. They've never been in this position before. It's always sleepy or shower sex. He's laid down on the bed and leans his head against all the pillows as he holds both of her hands on each side of him.

Lloyd is behind her, buried deep inside her ass as he fists her hair and bites her neck, leaving blood trails all over. He likes marking her even if it won't last more than a few seconds because of how fast she heals. But he knows she likes the temporary feeling of it. The slight pain that turns into pleasure for her. 

He lifts his mouth from her neck down to her ears. "I didn't get to taste you yet, sweetheart." Lloyd grumbles, whispering into her ears as she continues to slowly ride Six's cock.

She rolls her eyes. "I'm not in the mood for foreplay, Lloyd." Elle retorts. Even during this moment, she can still talk back.

He brushes her hair aside. "Yeah, none of us really ever know what you're in the mood for. You're so indecisive." Lloyd chose the worst moment to pick a fight with her right now. 

Usually, she'd argue back or forcefully pull his dick out from her but this time, she doesn't. She just sighs softly. "I'm also not in the mood to argue." she tells him, sternly. 

Lloyd tilts his head to the side and smirks at her even though she can't see him. "Hm. New Elle. I like this side of you. It's so fucking hot." He groans, his dick growing harder inside her. He liked it a little too much.

His words made her realize something and she immediately shakes her head. "No. I'm not new. I'll always be me." she clarifies.

Lloyd frowns, noticing the sudden weird tone in her voice. It's like she was trying to convince herself that she won't ever change. He knows she'll change. Maybe once she starts agreeing to kill. He doesn't exactly want her to change, he likes her this way — bubbly, full of light, a little dark side but it's not shown. Yet. He could see it in her eyes every time she's done these missions. She enjoyed burning things down. Destroying everything. Blowing people up. Bad people. She liked doing a little bad to achieve something good. But she won't admit that. 

He gets it now. She's been anxious the whole night so she's using them as a distraction or a coping mechanism. He's not going to say anything back because he's not exactly complaining. He wants her to use them. He's always been the dominant one in bed, the one in charge and the one calling the shots. But for her, he'd be anything she wants. And he definitely won't admit that either. 

Six pulls her down closer to him and cups her face, kissing her sweetly on the lips as she continues to intensify the kiss. She rides him while still deeply making out with him and she pulls away a little from Lloyd's dick because of how close she's getting to the other man. He watches her arch her back and roll her hips, focusing on her movements instead to keep him hard. 

He doesn't want to pull her closer because he can't ruin their cute moment. Even though he feels a little deflated by how she's never giving him her full attention during these kinds of moments when it's all three of them. And again, he feels like the third wheel again. Perhaps, it is true. Six and her were technically together already before he dived in and included himself in their thing — that's just what he thinks. He didn't include himself though. They both wanted him. 

But before his intrusive thoughts could take over him, she breaks the kiss with Six and leans back onto Lloyd's chest again. She fists his hair from behind, hard.

"Fuck me like you hate me, Hansen." she whispers, slowly turning her eyes around to him. 

Their eyes finally meet and the tension is thicker than ever. Their eye contact is always so powerful and intense and full of meaning. He knows what she needs right now. A rough fuck to help her forget everything for the night. He can do that. Six can't. He refuses to ever be any slightly rough with her. That's what separates the two men. The two things that she needs in her life and balance.

"As you wish, sunshine." Lloyd drawls as he begins to thrust his hips against her, sinking his cock deep inside her hole again in a fast and rough pace.

*** 

Six watches Lloyd fuck their girl harshly and aggressively like he hates her. Just what she asked for. But he could still see the intimacy in it. A hint of it. A shade. Nonetheless, still a hint and a shade. 

He always fucks like he hates them. But this is different. He's giving her exactly what she wants. He won't do anything more that she doesn't ask for. She's still calling the shots, technically. 

To his eyes, she's the only thing Lloyd cares about in this world. The world can burn for all he cares. Except for her. The one and only exception. He’d do anything for her from the least worse to the worst of the worse. There is not a single thing that he won’t do for her. 

Six would do the exact same. She doesn’t even know that. At least not the entirety of it. She has no single clue about all the nasty and terrible shit they’d both do just for her or the hell they’d go through for her. It’s already like an instinct for them etched inside of their mind and body. 

He studies and observes every movement from them as her tits jiggle and her necklace dangles because of Lloyd’s cruel thrust against her while he has his hand wrapped around her stomach. They almost fuck in sync, but nothing compares to Six and her. Both men have a different but special connection with her. It’s unexplainable to anyone else but them. They both fuck her according to her needs. If she wants comfort and soft sex, she comes to Six. But if she wants rough and kinky sex, Lloyd is the one she goes to. They always give her whatever she needs and whenever.

“Six. Fuck her. Don’t just lay there and watch. She can take two of us at once.” Lloyd demands, but he also wants to watch her have both of them at once, overwhelmed and overstimulated by the hands of them. He knows exactly what she needs right now. She needs both of them at this moment. Not just one of them like usual.

Six sighs, before looking over at her eyes for approval but she has her eyes shut already, too focused on her own pleasure. Lloyd noticed that, so he tightens his grip on her and pulls her closer to his chest until their skins cling and adhere to each other. His calloused hand goes up to her face and cups her chin, forcefully. 

“Elle, open your eyes. Look at us.” he sternly orders and she slowly opens her eyes, immediately meeting Six’s eyes. He has a relieved look on him and a relaxed one, too. He’s glad that she’s getting what she wants. He’s content for her. 

“Do you want us to fuck you at the same time?” Six softly asks her in a soothing voice.

She frowns at his words, blinking confusedly at him. “But we are already doing that.” She reminds him. 

Lloyd rolls his eyes, his cheek touching hers before he stares into her eyes. “He means actual fuck. Not just this. He's not doing anything. I know you want us both, fucking you, right sunshine?” he asks her, holding her chin rougher as she's forced to meet Six's eyes.

She nods eagerly. “Yeah. Sure. I want it.” she drowsily says.

Six offers her a small smile as his hands squeeze hers as they've been still holding their hands this whole time. It's a sign for comfort. To tell her that she's still cared for even in this vulnerable moment. Though, she already let herself feel vulnerable around them before all this. He just likes reminding her that he's always here for her. 

Lloyd's lips curve into a smirk, releasing his grip on her even though she was really enjoying the pain of it. “Good girl.” he praises her and she moans softly after he harshly pushes her closer to the other man. She bumps into his chest and braces her hands on his muscular shoulders.

Six frowns, abruptly sitting up and holding her head carefully. "Be careful, Lloyd. You don't have to be rough with her every time." he scolds him in a stern tone as his frown turns into a scowl almost immediately. 

He tilts his head to the side and frowns. "But she likes it. Fuck, she loves it." Lloyd taunts and teases her at the same time.

Elle lifts her head and looks up at Six with those desperate eyes that he knows so well already. She needs this really badly. "It's okay, I can't feel pain, remember?" she murmurs softly. 

His face softens when he finally looks down at her. He doesn't say anything, he just gently strokes her cheek with his hand. She leans into his touch as usual before lunging forward and crashing her lips into his in a hurried pace. He presses deeper into her lips, changing her pace into a slower one. He likes kissing her slowly. He can enjoy her lips and her taste better. 

Lloyd sighs impatiently while he has to watch both of them make out first. They kiss way too much. Lloyd and her don't even kiss a lot. Most of the time, they only kiss to shut each other up or to muffle their moans. Not in an affectionate way or an intimate way. In truth, he's never kissed any other woman he's slept with before. He didn't like it. He hated it. Kissing was way too clingy and touchy for him. But with her, it's just…different. He can't even explain it. 

"Ride me." Six whispers against her lips but it's so quiet and is quickly met with her soft giggling that even Lloyd can't discern what he's saying. He only hears something muffled. 

Her lips stretch into a smile against his and she cups his head, leaning her forehead into his. She doesn't even say anything. She's actually speechless.

It's so fucking rare for him to say that to her. He doesn't even do the whole dirty talk thing in bed. With her or anyone else before. He just fucks. Not much talking from him. It was more of a request than a demand. He's been pretty submissive with her. He does always let her do anything with him and only does whatever she asks of him. She's in charge of him. 

She laughs gently before pulling her lips away from his. Her smile lingers. "Fuck, I think that just made me even wetter." 

Lloyd frowns again. "What'd he say?" 

She shakes his head, brushing off his question. "Not important." she pauses, her hands moving down to cup his face. He's just looking up at her with a small smile on his lips, waiting for her to ride him. It turns her on that he's submissive for her. "Now, where were we?" she asks.

Rolling her hips again against his while she sunks her soaked cunt into his cock even deeper, her ass slipping away from Lloyd. Before it could even fully pull away, he forces himself inside her hole and she lets out the loudest moan they've ever heard. Her mouth forms a big 'O' as she braces her hands against Six's shoulder while her fingers dig into his skin. She can feel both of their dicks inside of her touching each other through the small barrier and her walls clenched around both of their lengths. It's an overwhelming feeling but she loves it that she's so drunk on it. She can't even think anymore — in which she wanted.

Six can feel his shoulders start to bleed a 

little as her fingernails sink deeper. He may not like hurting her or giving her pain in bed, but he sure loves it when she does it to him. He likes it when she's rough with him. Because again, he's obedient. For her, only. That and he has a small pain kink. It's reasonable seeing as he experiences pain in every mission.

She lets out another moan as Lloyd keeps thrusting even quicker, making a repetitive clapping sound that echoes through the whole room and probably through the whole penthouse. She hopes the field agents downstairs don't hear this. The walls are pretty thin here. It's ridiculous considering how much it costs. 

Elle lets herself get closer to Six, leaning her cheek into his as she nibbles on his ear, softly. She moans softly into his ears, "I wish I could moan your real name, Six." she whispers, coming out as a breathy moan. She's too drunk on their dicks.

She has never said that before. Never even crossed her mind either. She knew it was off-limits. She's aware that he's a gray man. A sierra. He's a shadow. He can't be known to anyone else. Especially his real name. Even Lloyd has no idea about it. Because there is absolutely no intel on him. Everything about him had been erased and cleaned. He's no one now.

And as much as he leans onto her and trusts her with his life, he will never tell her his real name. He can't. He won't. 

But, she actually expected an answer. She thought that he could trust her enough with this in this sort-of vulnerable and intimate moment. It's not like she'll tell anyone. She has no one else but them. She just wanted the assurance that he does trust her enough with his deepest secret. 

She moved her head to look at him properly and his eyes met hers. He stares at her like nothing happened and she didn't ask him anything. But she did. She's sure that he heard her and he did. He just chose to not say anything. To not answer her. It's not about trust or vulnerability for him. It's about restricted and classified information that he strictly refuses to tell anyone at all. It's a rule from him. His old name meant his old life and old him. He isn't the same person anymore. He's a completely separate and different one.

"Did you hear me?" she asks in a whisper.

He frowns confusedly. "What'd you say?" Six asks in a whisper, pretending to be clueless. But he isn't. 

He lied. 

Reality snapped her back like a wind. She isn't drunk on them anymore or hazy or drowsy. She's completely aware and awake now. Of everything. It's all coming back to her due to him. The decision she has to make, the coping mechanism she's using and Six lying to her, for the very first time ever. She thinks that he doesn't trust her that much. She was wrong all this time. She feels so stupid to think that she was special to him since she's the first woman he's ever been so close with in a long period of time. But then she realized that it was all just for the god-damned mission. Everything is. She's just a weapon. That's all she is. And a sex doll, as of now. Has this been for the mission as well, fucking her? To ensure her focus on the mission? To take control of her? 

Her mind spirals over and over again until her head spins around.  

She feels sick. She can't even focus. She doesn't feel pleasure anymore. All she feels is hurt and disappointment and discomfort. She felt dissociated from reality. It all became vague and blurry and time became quicker for her as they continued to fuck her in different rhythms. Both men came inside her but she didn't. Not at all.

They pulled out quickly soon after and she didn't even bother to lay down on Lloyd's bed first. She immediately told them that she needed to clean up so she climbed out of the bed and exited his room, still naked. 

She doesn't feel used but she just feels dumb for thinking that sex would ever help her forget or fix her problems in the first place. It never did. She always does this. Even with her previous boyfriends. She used them for sex to help her forget everything. She never actually felt good or satisfied or better. 

It just made her realize how pathetic and stupid her coping mechanism was. This never was supposed to be one, it was supposed to be something special and intimate, for the first time in her life. 

But she was completely wrong. 

***

She'd been standing under her shower for hours as the cold water kept running through her.

She's been closing her eyes, holding her breath while the water drowns her like always. But this time, it's longer than she's ever held her breath before. 

It's probably almost midnight. Earlier, she could distinctly hear Six's footsteps entering his own room after she left earlier. She's a little glad that they didn't come here to check up on her.

She's not blaming them, though. It's not their fault that she felt uncomfortable in the middle of it earlier. It's her fault. She was spiraling in her head. Overthinking every single thing by herself. She's the problem in everyone's lives. It would be so much better for them if she didn't exist. 

She used to attempt to kill herself back then, after her parents abandoned her. She tried almost everything that she thought of. But she was invulnerable to literally anything. It was pointless. She could never die. Never end her suffering or herself.

Finally, she turns off the shower and steps out of it. She drys and wraps herself with the towel as she enters her room. She grabs an oversized thin, white shirt and her panties from her small couch in front of her bed. 

After putting her clothes on, she immediately jumps on her bed and collapses. She just wants to sleep this off. Forget about all this. She doesn't want to feel discomfort around them, she just wants to feel normal. 

That's all she ever wanted. 

*** 

Sleep didn't really take her over like she thought it would. 

She isn't used to sleeping alone anymore. There was always him beside her, comforting her to sleep. Sometimes, she didn't even need him to do anything, she just needed him to be there for her. 

But now he isn't. 

So she lays awake in her bed, staring at the midnight view of the city through her huge window next to her. It's extremely late already yet the city is still alive and wild. She could still see a damn traffic going on down there and a lot of people walking around.

Her mind starts to wonder about the sleeping pills that Lloyd offered her two weeks ago. She never took them. She's thinking about taking them now.  However, that would mean coming into his room and interacting with him. He would definitely ask some questions and interrogate her on why she's not sleeping beside Six like usual.

Though, he didn't even go into her room earlier. Now she begins to wonder again. Maybe he wanted some space for himself after all that. But perhaps, it also could've been because of her question that he avoided and pretended not to hear. He just feels very confused on what to do with her. He thought that this question would've never popped up. Now that it has, he can't answer her even knowing that she wanted a real answer. 

She gathers her courage before attempting to crawl out of her bed but stumbles her feet on the carpet on the floor. She curses softly, ignoring what just happened as she walks as slowly as possible to step out of her bedroom.

But right at the moment her hand was about to pull her door handle, she heard Six's bedroom gently open from across and then his footsteps approaching the kitchen. 

Shit. Not now. Fuck. 

She was trying to avoid him just like he was avoiding her question. She doesn't want to start an argument or a fight with him. He's not Lloyd. He won't fight back. It won't be much of an argument without the other one fighting back. And she just wants things to go back to normal with him. She likes having him with her. She could forget about all this and—

Yet, her mind is still itching for those answers. What is his real name? Why can't he tell her? Does he not trust her that much? Why doesn't she know anything about him until now? Why is he so closed off with her? Why did he pretend to not hear her before? Why can't he let himself fully trust her even though they've been together for three weeks? Does he prefer to just not say anything this whole time to avoid telling the truth so he's not exactly lying? Why would he do this to her knowing that she's scared of getting lied to and betrayed? 

So many questions in her head. Too many of them. It gives her a headache. Her head almost hurts just thinking about all these unanswered questions. Maybe, this was the reason why she couldn't fall asleep. 

Her hand finally pulls the door handle and exits her room without a thought. She needs answers or she's going to be crazy.

She stalks into the kitchen and sees Six in front of the fridge wide open. He's casually drinking a cold water bottle while leaning his ass on the countertop. He doesn't like to drink a lot of things except for water. He's very plain. She knew that. 

He noticed her approaching and his face softened. "Hey. Why are you still up?"

Is that even a question? The main reason she can't sleep is because of him. 

Elle stops to stand beside him, ignoring his question. She stares up at his eyes and just realizes how tall he is compared to herself. His eyes fall down to her body, trying really hard to not focus on the fact that she's only wearing her black panties and her thin shirt showing her nipples and her breast clearly. He's seen all of her but yet it still turns him on when he sees the slightest part of her like this. He never felt this way about anyone. He didn't used to like those things because he thought it was just a human body part 

"What was that?" she asks him, simple and short. Didn't want to get too emotional.

Six frowns, confusedly. Now he's forced to think about what she's talking about when she's almost half naked like this in front of him. He can't focus, for the very first time in his life.

"What was what, Elle?" he asks, his eyes still wandering her body. He's attempting to fight the urge in him to just pull her in and fuck her again right here. He's not impulsive, though. He's calculative of his every action. But he's making her think about being astray from how he is. 

She sighs. "I asked you a question. I know you heard me. I was whispering in your ear. There was no way that you did not hear me at all." Elle confronts him in a calm tone. She's trying to contain herself. She doesn't want to yell or get angry. Not with him. He doesn't deserve that. 

Oh. She's talking about that now. 

Six tips his head to the side, frowning. "You know I can't answer that question." he flatly replies. 

"Why not? You don't trust me?" she quickly accuses.

He shakes his head in denial. "It's not that. It's really not. I swear." he swears but he still can't tell her why and it's bugging her. She can't walk away without a single answer from him.

She huffs frustratedly, already tried of this.

"Then what is it? Tell me, Six—oh my god, you realize how ridiculous that sounded? We've been together for three whole weeks yet I don't even know your real name. I call you by a fucking number code nane made by the CIA but that's not you. You're not Six." She doesn't raise her voice but her words are sharp. 

He looks away from her before turning his eyes to her again. He subtly nods. "Yes, I am. I am Six." he coldly says. 

She frowns, shaking her head. "No. Stop. You're not. You're so much more than just a nameless agent who isn't supposed to exist." she sternly states. "You're not a gray man to me." Elle whispers the last part, ending up being a confession to him. 

He's really not. She doesn't see him as Sierra Six. She sees him for who he actually is inside because she got to know him these past weeks living with him. She doesn't judge him for what he does. She knew he didn't have much of a choice. She knows him better than anyone in this fucking world. That's why she's so confused as to why he doesn't trust her enough to know his real name. 

Her confession leaves him speechless as his heartbeat starts to pick up, swallowing thickly as his eyes drowsily look up at her face with pure desire. He never even thought that there would be a possibility of having someone like her in his life one day. She has no idea how grateful and appreciative he is of her. He thought he didn't deserve someone like her or to have the life they have right now. 

When he doesn't answer her at all, she scoffs gently and drifts her eyes from him to the living room beside them. She lets herself think for a moment. And she parts her lips as realization dawns on her. Her spiraling mind might just be right this time.

"Maybe, we went too fast. Maybe this was all a mistake." Elle softly said what it was on her mind just a second ago. Her eyes are still refusing to look at him so she could think clearly. 

And there it is. That fucking doubtful mind of hers. The only toxic thing about her. She over analyzes everything and then stresses out about it. She's not always right. She could be wrong, sometimes. But what she's saying right now doesn't even make sense. She's just very anxious. Six lying to her earlier piled up the problems in her head that she had to think about. It triggered her. She wanted to forget but then he brought her back to reality. 

Six furrows his brows, studying her as he takes a step forward to her while he closes the fridge door. "Don't say that. It's not true." he quietly says, shaking his head.

She finally looks at him again and scoffs softly, stepping forward. "But it is. I mean, we barely knew each other when we just decided to be…together or whatever this is." she waves her hand between them. "A day. One fucking day that it took us to make that instant decision. I didn't even know you, Six. I still don't." she snaps.

He shakes his head again. "No, you do. You know me better than anyone. I meant that, Elle." He does mean it. But it's not enough. Words are never enough. 

She sighs. "You know everything about me but I know nothing about you. Just that you're a classified assassin for the CIA and how you were in prison before you got recruited. That's it. I don't know anything about yourself." she sharply says, still not raising her voice. 

"You know enough." Six states, firmly.

She frowns, tilting her head to the side. "What? What does that mean?" she asks.

He lunges forward and closes the gap between them as he looks down at her with a soft look. "No one else knows this much about me but you. I wasn't supposed to do this. Not like this. Not with you. This was unexpected but I don't think it was a mistake." he explains, sincerely.

Elle looks down and he could tell that she's so tired. She looks exhausted and he's still not answering her question, not helping her at all. She knows he meant what he said but that still doesn't change anything. She just knows parts of him that he let her know. Small tiny parts. Not the whole of it. 

"What's your name, Six?" she repeats her question, her eyes glaring back up at him.

Six gulps nervously, suddenly turning his eyes from her. He doesn't have an answer for her. There are also no other words that he could say to stop her from questioning him and forgetting this. She needs a direct answer. Not anything else. He knows that. 

"I can't give it to you." he hardly says, his voice so low and his tone is soft. 

She nods, scoffing while she steps away from him. "Yeah, okay. I'm gonna go to bed because I haven't slept since earlier. Also, I didn't come. I couldn't think at all after you ignored me. You may not lie to my face, but you just chose to not say anything, to be quiet. It's just the same, Six." Elle snaps, her voice still low but her disappointment is visible through her words. 

She's hurt. Again. Not exactly surprised. She always gets hurt, no matter what. She was just stupid enough to think that this time would be different. It's not. 

Six sighs softly, his eyes observing her. He's a little taken back by the fact that she didn't come. Because he's always made her come. Every single time. There is not a time when he didn't. Even when they fell asleep while doing it, she still came before she slept. They both did. He always made sure she did first. But this time, he didn't. He wasn't too focused on her earlier. He thought that she was enjoying it as much as he did. He usually checked up on her every second. 

Now, he feels bad. He actually feels real pity and guilt. Something he's never actually felt before in his life. There's something else too in this emotion of his. He cares so much for her that he can't stand to see her like this, hurt. Because of him and there's nothing to do to help her.

"Elle, let me help you sleep. It's the least I can do—" Six tries to offer softly.

She cuts him off. "No, I'm good. The least you could do was tell me the truth." she retorts, harshly but at least she's honest. 

He doesn't say anything. He has no words to say anymore to make her feel better, that isn't going to be a lie. She just wants the truth. Though it's really not that simple for him. 

He lets her walk away from him and he watches her slowly disappear into the hallway. Meanwhile, he just stands there as he contemplates on what he's just done to her. He wasted the one thing good in his life that wouldn't come twice. He knew that sooner or later this would happen anyway. Nothing good ever lasts in his life. 

While walking back to her room, her eyes turn to Lloyd's room. She knows there's no other way for her to sleep without someone beside her or without those sleeping pills he talked about. She needs him right now. Not Six anymore.

Without thinking twice, she turns around and steps towards his room. She doesn't knock. She just slowly but softly opened his door, making sure not to startle him. She can hear his stable heartbeat and his quiet snoring. He snores a lot. She knew that because of how many times she’s heard him snore distinctly from her room every night. 

She let herself inside his bedroom, gently closing the door behind her. Walking to his bed, her eyes examine Lloyd asleep and comfortable as she just realizes that he’s sleeping naked. He’s covered in his cozy, white blanket. She crouched down on him and got near his face.

“Lloyd. It’s Elle.” she whispers to him, slowly sitting down on the extra space next to him.

She waits for him to wake up, but he doesn’t. She forgot that he isn’t a light sleeper like Six is. He’s different. 

Her hands carefully reach out to his hair blocking his face as she brushes it aside. Her soft fingers caress his skin and she studies him. She's never been this closed up before. Not in a calm situation like this where he's asleep. 

"Lloyd. I need you." she slightly increases her voice. 

Finally, he stirs in his sleep and moves his body to her direction. He opens his eyes slowly and sleepily looks up at her. It takes a minute for him to register what's going on and to digest that she's in his room right now. He thought he was dreaming.

He frowns slightly. "What are you doing here?" Lloyd asks in a weak whisper. 

She parts her lips and runs her hands through her hair. "I couldn't sleep. Um, where are those sleeping pills you told me about? I need them. And you, I guess." she demands softly.

He blinks confusedly. "What happened with Six? I mean, is he okay?" he genuinely asks her in a soft whisper. 

She nods. "He is. We just had a little argument. Can I sleep here? With you?" she desperately asks in a begging tone.

Lloyd just weakly hums in response before gently pulling her into the bed while he scoots over to leave space for her and spreads his blanket on her too. She lays down with her back faced to his naked chest and his arms wrapped around her body. 

Elle looks at him from behind. "Pills?" 

"Drawer. Blue bottle. Take five." he answers, sleepily before closing his eyes again.

She reaches her arm out to the nightstand beside them and opens the drawer with her hand. Without even looking, she grabs the bottle of pills from it and takes it out before closing the drawer. 

Slowly, she sits up from her position and manages to remove Lloyd's hands from her. Opening the cap, she pours five pills onto her hand and swallows it all without any water. 

She puts down the bottle back on his nightstand. Laying back down on the bed, she takes his hands and places them around her body. She leans into his touch and slowly relaxes, already feeling the little effects of the pill. She'll take what she can get even if it's just a tiny amount. 

"Feeling sleepy already?" he asks her, opening one of his eyes.  

She gently shakes her head. "Not yet. A little bit more relaxed, though." she replies.

Lloyd hums. "Told you." he whispers.

She nods, moving down to kiss his hand. "Thank you. For this." she thanks him.

Lloyd fully opens both of his eyes. "What happened? With Six and you?" he softly asks. 

"I'll tell you tomorrow morning. For now, I'd really just like to fall asleep." she tells him. 

"Okay. Night." he murmurs faintly before closing his eyes again, shifting to sleep.

She closes her eyes, pushing herself closer onto him as their skins clung into each other again like earlier. She could feel all of him against her back. He's completely naked and vulnerable now. He let her sleep with him. He's never done this with anyone before because he liked his personal space. He didn't like sharing it. But with her, he doesn't mind.

This wasn't supposed to be like this tonight. They wanted to take things slow and not immediately jump right into sleeping on one bed together. But because of her small fight with Six, it brought both Lloyd and her closer. Somehow.

Apparently, their fight had a little benefit to it. 

***

They've slept for what felt like a few hours. 

Until Lloyd's phone had rang a million of times beside his nightstand and he had to eventually pick it up.

It was Denny, telling him that some of the dealers from the drug ring they had caught yesterday, escaped from prison and is currently robbing the nearest hospital while taking all of them hostage. Patients, nurses, doctors, surgeons, anyone who stayed the night in the hospital. The local police can't fix this. Only she could. 

It is still four fucking am in the morning. This is complete torture. For all of them. 

Elle groaned from the bed, not wanting to get up at all while he kept trying to wake her up and tell her what's going on.

"We need to do this. It's our mess. We need to fix it ourselves." Lloyd says responsibly as he quickly puts on his clothes beside the bed. 

He had thrown her some of her clothes that he randomly grabbed from her closet earlier. It was some black leggings and her thin pink sweater which he knew was her usual favorite one. It's right beside her on the bed now. 

He leans down on her face. "Elle, get up. There are hostages inside that damn hospital. You'll kill me if you find out that I let you sleep this off." he makes a point, raising his voice to wake her up more. 

She shoots her eyes open and he sighs in relief. "What happened again?" she asks, their faces an inch apart. 

"Those dealers that you caught yesterday, busted out of jail and they're robbing the hospital now. Holding a bunch of hostages. It's our job to fix it since we caught them in the first place." Lloyd explains to her.

"Wait. What hospital?" Elle asks, getting up from the bed as she starts to casually undress in front of him. She grabs the clothes next to her and quickly puts them on her. 

He steps back from her to give her space. "The nearest one. You went there a few weeks ago with Six, I think." he tells her.

She nods before realizing something. "What? That's the hospital my best friend works at. She…she's still there. She always works until the morning." she realizes and she's all dressed now, facing him with anxious eyes. He saw that in her eyes almost immediately.

Lloyd sighs, stepping closer to her and her eyes look up at his. "Hey, don't let that compromise you, okay? We'll get there and you focus on catching them. Alive or not." he firmly tells her in a soft tone.

Her eyes widened. She just woke up and she's already panicking. "What? No. I haven't—" she nervously starts.

He cuts her off. "We don't have the time to wait for your decision, Elle. You need to do what you have to do right now. We'll get the hostages. Don't focus on them. Focus on those idiots." he sets it straight for her. 

Six enters his bedroom hesitantly after he hears her voice but he had to come in anyway. "Hey. Are we going to go downstairs to prep?" he asks him casually.

She turns around to him and says nothing, just looks down. He does too. They don't have anything to say to each other anymore and their eyes refuse to look at the other. They need to focus on this mission instead.

Lloyd glances at both of them, knowing that they had a fight a few hours ago. He looks over at Six and nods. "Yeah. After that, we'll leave immediately. We're bringing the rest with us, too." he informs.

Elle turns to him. "Okay, then. Let's go." she announces and they all walk out of there.

***

They're all gathered together in the first floor of the penthouse, listening to Lloyd's instructions while the agents prep all of their weapons. 

"Alright, listen up. Main priority is those fucking guys. Elle catches them while we get the hostages out there, safely. We need to be discreet as well. The local police are swarming the area." Lloyd orders everyone as they all nod their heads.

"And what if we get them before she does?" One of the field agents challenges her while giving her a bitter look.

She knows none of them have really liked her since the beginning. She's the most valuable weapon to the CIA and she gets to do anything she wants because of it. She gets a free pass while everyone else has to follow the rules. But that isn't true. She doesn't do whatever she wants. She still obeys every order she's given. They only think that way due to what happened in that lab and how her crimes were all just forgotten. 

They only follow Lloyd and Six. Maybe because they're all men and those two men have quite a reputation in the agency. So they're scared of them and idolizes them, too. 

Six looks over at the agent, giving him the side eye and so does Lloyd. They clench their jaws, not wanting to get violent on how this man talks about their girl. She could blow his head off in a second. 

She frowns confusedly at him, tipping her head to the side. "Well, then good for you? This isn't a competition. This is an emergency mission. But saving the hostages has to be the main priority. They're just innocents. Mostly are sick people." Elle declares, looking over at Lloyd to tell them. 

He turns to her and nods. "Yeah, she's right. Save the hostages first, no matter what. And if we weren't in such a hurry, I'd shoot you just for the way you talked about her. Mind your fucking mouth." Lloyd scolds the agent, his index finger pointing at me and he nods, looking down. 

She glances at him and she wishes she could smile at him right for how he defends her. He usually doesn't. He heard a bunch of whispers about her but never did anything. She understands why. He can't make it seem too obvious about their relationship or whatsoever. It's not exactly allowed in the CIA. But they're not officers. They're both valuable assets. They could do whatever they like. 

"Alright. Can we go now?" Elle asks him.

Lloyd nods at her. "Yeah. Let's move." he announces loudly to everyone before they all do what they're told.

All the agents left to go to the elevator first before Lloyd, Six and Elle take the next one. The guys bring their chosen weapon with them along with a bulletproof vest attached onto their body already. They're both behind her, like always. She anxiously stares up at the numbers of levels, impatiently. 

As the three are all inside the elevator, waiting for it to go down as usual, Six suddenly reaches out to her arm. She turns around to him with a confused look.

"Hey, I know we haven't quite resolved our problem yet but…be careful out there. This mission seems risky. We didn't have a lot of time to prepare like usual. I have a bad feeling about it." Six softly admits to her. 

She slowly nods. "I will. You too." 

Lloyd shortly looks at both of them. They both care for each other even when they're still fighting. It's such a deep connection and bond that they have. It's so rare. 

"I agree. Be safe. I know I said catching them was the main priority but if you saw something was off, get the fuck out of there immediately." he suggests. 

She simply nods at them, thinking that this would be easy for her. Nothing will go wrong.

*** 

Perhaps, Six was a little right. 

A mission this dangerous and haste is way too unpredictable to prevent anything that could go wrong. No preparations, no proper plans and no safe extractions. It was bound to fail. 

Because it did fail. 

She had made a quick plan to break one of the doors at the back entrance, leading to the emergency room which was completely empty already. Surprisingly. 

She ordered the agents to save the hostages who were all held up in the lobby. They climbed through the window and went in. Yet, there was only one man who was with the hostages. They didn't know where the rest were. It was supposed to be three men. 

Lloyd and Six cautiously followed her from behind but she stayed far ahead of them, making sure that the threat wouldn't attack them first. But she isn't as good as them, in terms of ambushing the enemy and staying alert. 

It was a horrible mistake. A terrible error. 

The armed dealers already had their guns in their hands, ready to shoot whoever was coming. She had heard them but she wasn't quick enough to attack first. 

She was the first who got in front of them so they shot her. Continuously and non-stop. Until all their bullets had run out. 

She collapsed on the floor. There were way too many bullets inside of her. She was in so much pain to the point that she couldn't even feel anything anymore. It began to be all muffled and distinct for her. The world suddenly felt unreal to her. 

She closed her eyes. She didn't want to feel this kind of pain anymore. She just wanted it to all go away. 

Six's first instinct was to shoot those two men, calculatively till they dropped dead. Lloyd's instinct was…well, he was completely frozen while watching her dying body on the ground.

There was no other hope for her. She was dying. She was unsalvageable. 

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