#let me preface this by saying that there is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying games at their easiest

[mira-blue]

hollow knight made me unable to enjoy games unless they were at least on their second-most difficult and bloodborne completely sealed that deal

#let me preface this by saying that there is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying games at their easiest #i am a HUGE encourager of people playing whatever way they find the most fun #as it happens to be for me now‚ the 'most fun' setting is the one that makes me shake sweat scream throw up etc #i'm playing ghost of tsushima on medium difficulty and while it is fun‚ it's not giving me that RUSH yk #now that i've got the controls down i really want to switch it to hard #not that i'm breezing through it mind you #i've died a good bunch of times (mostly to falling and bears) #but i am definitely much more relaxed. which isn't a BAD thing. i just like to suffer #it really is funny because this is such a far cry from 2019 me who played the entirety of horizon on story mode #now i want my ass kicked. i want to bleed. i want to be so tense i get cramps #i <3 video games #also unrelated but i think bloodborne might be the first game i'll ever platinum #bloodborne #hollow knight #mirambles

[aliquistis]

On Mystra and Gale

Okay I gotta say it.

tl;dr: Gale is too old to have been groomed by Mystra (unless you headcanon him as 30 or younger), bc she was dead until 1479 (game year is 1492). I am not defending Mystra. Mystra is a mess. Her (FR) writing is a mess. But for this at least, the timeline doesn't add up.

Disclaimer: there is absolutely nothing wrong with people disregarding/tweaking lore for fan works/fanfic. God knows I do it all the time when I GM. That's your story now and you can do whatever you want with it, including exploring problematic relationships like what if Gale was groomed by Mystra? This is just a post for general information. Write what you want. Explore those dark recesses of the human heart. Fly free, you beautiful butterfly.

Too long but still gonna read explanation under the cut.

Let me preface this again: This is not a post in defense of Mystra. I have, in fact, been very loudly complaining about Mystra since long before Baldur's Gate 3 was even hinted. This is simply pointing out timeline discrepancies that it seems many newcomers to Forgotten Realms aren't aware of (totally understandable! You should not need to ingest 30 years of lore to enjoy a game and I'm not saying you do.) Additionally, FR literally kills Mystra every new edition and it gets dumber every time.

Anyways. It is highly unlikely that Gale was groomed by Mystra. This is not a statement of morality, it's a statement of timeline. Mystra died in 1385. She was in pieces (like bits of her magic were still in artifacts/her Chosen, such as Elminster in lore that I absolutely despise) and that, as far as I can tell, is how magic subsisted until 1479, when she was reconstituted by Elminster (in lore that I absolutely despise) This is a gross oversimplification of an event called the Spellplague. I am open to correction on how magic worked here because I moved to Pathfinder during the 4e era and you could not make me read those Elminster books if you put a gun to my head.

Regardless, from 1385-1479, Mystra was dead/missing/asleep. BG3 takes place in 1492. If Gale is 40 years old, he was born in 1452. This means, if Gale is 40, the youngest he could have been was 27 when Mystra contacted him. This lowers, obviously, if you think Gale is 35 or even 30. If he's 30 then Mystra could have contacted him at 17. Yes, a 17 year-old is a child and this could have led to grooming, but Mystra wasn't at full strength when she first returned and she most likely wasn't seeking new Chosen until the next year, 1480. Regardless, this is the reason I put grooming as Highly Unlikely instead of Impossible. I personally believe Gale is older than 30 (I say this as a person in their 30s), I believe he was written with the intention of being a man older than 30, and I cannot see him being in his 20s. (more power to you if that's your headcanon, he's an archmage, he could be 600 for all we know, fly free, etc)

OKAY THAT SAID. Would she have groomed him? Fucking probably! Mystra is a mess. I have been playing in Forgotten Realms in tabletop and video game settings for going on 25 years now and let me tell you. Mystra is a mess. I could make a whole long ass other post on all the many problems I've had with her writing over the years. Even without the "Mystra banged a minor" angle here, there is a serious power imbalance and very obvious manipulation on her part. And I'm here to tell you Gale isn't even the first wizard she has done this to! She's done much worse! Mystra has a ton of flaws (I could write a BOOK on Mystra's flaws) but it remains highly unlikely that grooming Gale in particular is one of them.

If you'd like more FR lore this person has some amazing lore write-ups that I really enjoyed reading during EA. And here is Mystra's forgotten realms wiki page, already linked to her death and return.

(my friend told me to post this after I kept bitching to them about Lore on discord and They Know Who They Are)

#Baldur's Gate 3 #bg3 #gale of waterdeep #Gale Dekarios #Civilized lore discussion/questions welcome #If you hate on Gale on this post I will block you #mystra lover/hater since 1999 #it's complicated ok #mystryl didn't die for this #forgotten realms lore

[nikeiyomiurioverthinker]

Nikei Yomiuri is literally my favourite character ever but I have a LOT of grievances with his writing

I could make multiple posts about it, honestly, but I am going to start with something easy and digestible for now, aka his FTEs

Surprisingly enough, I somewhat enjoy them, he is absolutely adorable in them most of the time, I love how genuinely excited he seems at the idea of someone being interested in him and wanting to know him and I like the fact that it ends with Sora calling herself his friend and him being genuinely happy of finally having a friend at all.

And I can't know for sure if it is on purpose or not, but if it is, it's also a case of brilliant writing on Linuj's part, because it also plays into Nikei's struggle of losing those he genuinely cares about and/or being betrayed by them. I think Sora using Nikei's hand to 'kill' Shinji and then trying to convince everyone that it means that Nikei's the real murderer hits much harder after the FTEs, because in this case he isn't just being blamed for murder, but he is also being betrayed by a person that he considered to be his first friend

I also am not too angry about the fact that we end up not learning his past, honestly. Like, yeah, does it suck that we don't know how he was saved and basically his motivation for even being in this game? Absolutely, but from a writing perspective, him not telling us anything is good, actually.

Because Nikei is, in the end, someone that was let down so much that he just can't bring himself to trust and be honest with other people. We still don't know how much of what we saw of him is real or not, how deep the lie that is his persona actually is, why would he go and tell someone his past so easily? If anything, Nikei's last FTE is a good base for an eventual reveal: after Sora has effectively become his friend, he can then begin considering if he wants to open up to her or not.

Which is why I think that him almost confessing and then taking it back at the last second was a weird choice, personally. He has been betrayed by the people that he subconsciously considered his friends and his immediate reaction to this new girl that calls herself his friend is to try to score a date? It feels forced, like Linuj just wanted to add yet one more conquest to the Sora harem.

Personally, I would have had him go something among the lines of "If you are my friend, then maybe I can tell you..." and then having him shy away, showing that he does trust Sora a little bit, but that he still needs time before he actually opens up completely. And maybe that could have been picked up in chapter 4, where you have an event with only him where he explains you his backstory.

I do have other problems with his FTEs though, one of them being his pervertness. Don't get me wrong, nothing is wrong with him being a pervert, that doesn't automatically make him a bad character, but the problem is that this part of his character is effectively non-existent outside of his FTEs. Other than him asking Sora her cup size, I cannot think of any other case in which he makes a dirty joke, or even blushes or gets flustered at others saying sexual things or literally any of the shit Mikado pulls. Even in the woman's fantasy, he doesn't look embarrassed or tries to get the girls to join in, rather just being angry at them. It came out of left field and never made an appearance again, and that just bugs me.

Another problem I have with his FTEs is mostly related to bad writing decisions when trying to give Nikei motivations to become a journalist. Let me preface this by saying: Nikei's reason for being a journalist is the power that the job allows him to get over other people. He is obsessed with the idea of being in control, and nothing screams control like having so much dirt on people that they bend over backwards to do as they're told in exchange of not getting cancelled or, worse, thrown in prison. Nikei is not a good moral person, he only wants to be on top of the food chain.

(And there is also the external reason that Linuj needs as to why Nikei is the former leader of the CoU, and him being a journalist and so having the most information just makes sense)

(I also headcanon that he is autistic and interviewing is his special interest, but I can make a whole post about my headcanons for him on a later date)

Of course, we can't have him tell that he is an amoral dickwad to Sora, so we need other motivations, which are that 1. He wants to do something he believes he can excel at and 2. He wants to do something that allows him to show off his right hand.

Both of those reasons suck.

He is not good with people, clearly, as shown by him immediately asking Sora her cup size after she agreed to an interview and also his large amount of sprites where he doesn't look people in the eye, and talking with others is kind of a big deal for journalists, and the entire right hand motivation is stupid because journalism is not the job to show your sick handwriting skills, and taking notes is not even necessary because journalists are all but required to have recording devices on themselves and they are not even all that expensive to buy. If he truly wanted to show off his hand, calligraphy would have made a thousand times more sense as a talent.

(which he also supposedly has, Linuj has stated that his handwriting is nice and crisp and he takes his notes in cursive like the pretentious asshole he is)

The problem with these motivations is, if they were shit that Nikei made up on the spot for Sora, I wouldn't complain, but they are also used to introduce his obsession with his right hand, which is very much real, so it is implied that the motivations he gave, while not the whole truth, are also not lies.

And I have already explained how those reasons don't make sense.

In short, his FTEs are enjoyable if you want to see Nikei Yomiuri being cute, but they are not useful for anything else other than pandering and when they try to do anything else, they pretty much fail at it.

So, I'm giving them 3/5 stars because I love being pandered to

#nikei yomiuri #sdra2 #sora sdra2 #she is barely mentioned but hey #i need that sweet tag traction #can't believe my first post here is me complaining about Nikei Yomiuri #i promise I love him #sdra2 nikei #also sorry if there are any typos English is not my first language #sdra2 spoilers

[alyazirr]

So let me talk about the Dame Event story for a hot minute here

Another long one sorry,

In my last text wall rant that I was sleep deprived as hell writing I went over the events pretty much as a whole as well as just explaining that the event dissapointed me, now I’ve had some time to digest the story as a whole and really think on it I’d like to dive into the story and what really got under my skin.

Let me just preface this by saying clearly that we as the fandom were absolutely baited with this event, many players are members of the LGBT+ community and I myself identify as bi. This entire event and how it was handled in my opinion was not done well and has left many feeling like they used the premise as a quick cash grab from that part of the fandom – I absolutely believe this to be the case.

Now the story, the first issue I had was the reason the boys had to dress up as ‘dames’ to begin with. The idea that this queen we have never met have no reason to care about and wasn’t even given 3 lines of characterisation just shows up and demands that everyone dress like ladies because ‘down with all demon men’ is incredibly concerning to me. Diavolo the prince seemingly got out of her requests, he is after all royalty himself but I think a lot of the time we forget just how high ranking in society the brothers are. This ‘I hate all men’ attitude is incredibly childish and a toxic mindset that has literally set the feminist movement back for years. It’s equally concerning that I’ve seen fans take this ‘queen’ and raise her up as this absolute bad bitch who is awesome and death to all men when she is in fact just a bitch in my eyes.

The reason why they need to dress up aside Lucifer’s handling that they all have to ‘act like dames’ had me flashing back to visions of ‘ladies finishing schools’ and a stepford wife type situation. The way their personalities had to be obliterated in the process to fit Lucifer’s notion of ‘the perfect lady like behaviour’ is incredibly demeaning to me. As a fashion major I’ve read and researched my fair amount on the psychology of clothing and how it can both confine or embolden us. I hoped that the dames event would be handled better, Asmo is obviously our number one candidate to cross-dress and throw ‘gendered’ clothing out the window and I love him for it but I have to agree with Mammon’s wording that he ‘doesn’t mind dressing up but doesn’t like the performance with it’. The ‘perfect personality’ that had them all walking the same, eating the same and using the same etiquette stripped them of any individuality and just had me thinking back on how women were ‘expected’ to act in society and still are to a degree and it was pretty uncomfortable and I’m not surprised that by the end of it even Asmo who loves any excuse to steal the show and dress up was exhausted by all the ‘etiquette’ he was forced through by Lucifer to seemingly appease some queen.

There was no need for the etiquette, Satan is arguably one of the most refined brothers having many friends in high places, artists, directors and so on. He’s well connected and established and he clearly knows how to handle himself with dignity, asking him to abide by all these rules was overkill when he could’ve put on a dress and acted completely acceptably all by himself. Not that there were even many interactions with the brothers to begin with. Typically there is always a brief moment of affection with each brother but this event was just ‘Beel can’t walk in high heels, neither can Satan pick one to cheer on and screw the other one’. I hate how any interaction was boiled down to ‘praise’ or ‘you aren’t trying hard enough to act like this dignified lady’.

Clothing is an extension of our personalities it is part of who we are and how we are perceived. It is COMPLETELY valid for people to wear whatever they want, for women to dress more ‘masculine’ and men to dress more ‘feminine’ but there is nothing wrong with men dressing like the ‘societal men’ and women dressing as the ‘societal women’ if that is what empowers them and has them most at ease. Satan was clearly not comfortable in heels and Beel really struggled, clothing should be enjoyable not a trial to get past with pain and brute force. It is also incredibly important to point out that it is canon that Levi and Asmo do cross dress and therefore enjoy it it’s not like these boys aren’t down for it but it should be THEIR CHOICE and what makes THEM COMFORTABLE. Not the same old ‘Diavolo said so and god help you if you don’t’.

Honestly the whole putting them in dresses came across with a strong element of fetishization which I didn’t like, the mc only able to babble on about how beautiful they looked, stare or say the ‘wanted to see the boys as dames more’. In concept this event could have been EVERYTHING and in the end it was a let down that borders on uncomfortable. I don’t appreciate the undertone that if they want to wear a pretty dress then they HAVE to act like a dignified lady. As I touched on the choice should have been theirs, it should’ve been an empowering situation and not a constricting one. Lucifer actually had me holding my head in my hands in anger with how he was acting in this event and you don’t even end up with the very typical ‘romantic event ending’ with him. You just tell him he looks great and he totally brushes you off. Not even mentioning the fact that as soon as they arrive at the demon castle the ‘bomber’ has been stopped and the queen is suddenly ok with everyone just being themselves because ‘haha I don’t hate you demon men you can dress like men from next year 😊’. So as Levi said literally what was the point in all that work when they just defaulted to acting like themselves anyway. It would’ve been completely understandable if Lucifer had lectured them on behaving at the event, Mammon not trying to steal something, Beel not eating everything etc but wasn’t.

All I wanted was 2 crumbs of attention from Solomon in this event and despite the SSR card he basically may as well not even be there. Not to mention I was super excited to see what Mammon and Satan looked like but I guess I’ll have to draw that out myself. What was the point solmare, seriously what was the point.

I guess we confirmed that Mammon is literally the only one we can trust since he runs to your aid screw the queen which was the only moment I really enjoyed. 

Basically this event has me feeling several kinds of fucked up and it’s clear to me that the devs are just pushing out events to sell cards and grab cash off the audience. I love this game I really do, I’ve played more otomes than I care to admit and this is honestly one of the best I’ve come across main story wise but if they keep pumping out there half assed events to grab cash off players then I’m sorry but it’s gonna turn the majority of players off. People will be willing to spend that £10 on your in game currency to support you when you put out a quality product you worked hard on, I’ve been playing this for a year now and I still love the boys and the half main story line I’ve got through. I’m sure I’m not alone in saying I would far rather wait much longer on events and enjoy a good fleshed out well written event instead of these lazy cash grabs that honestly have ended up really missing the mark and with the angel and now this event really rubbing me the wrong way.

#obey me shall we date #obey me #obey me event #obey me luficer #obey me mammon #obey me asmodeus #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #rant #long post #this will be my last rant on this sorry I just have so many feelings about this

[muwur]

could i request an -oikawa-kuroo-suga- headcanons for a partner with autism/adhd? (autism and adhd in girls can be like, real hard to write if you dont have it or know someone who does so its 100% okay to say no wididnejfufhejrr) especially with like, being embarrassed about stimming in front of them or dealing with rejection sensitive dysphoria as a symptom 😗👉👈 thank yooooooooooou i owe u my liyef

haikyuu + s/o with autism/adhd headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for oikawa, kuroo, suga & tendou

❧ gn reader

✎ 1.3k words

a/n: i got u b! this is wut im here for, to help u feel a lil represented 😌 also ik u a special fren of mine so hehe here u go (happy birthday soon btw c; ily i hope you enjoy pls feel free to lmk if there’s smth youd like me to change ♡)! aLsO pLEASePLEAseplEASe anyone let me know if there is something I wrote in this that doesn’t sit well with you. as someone who does not have autism/adhd or has had much experience around people who do, i cannot portray it accurately. i do not intend to misrepresent anyone’s experiences. i love and care for you all; the last thing i want to do is hurt or offend anyone. thankfully anon + the internet were great sources for me to try to understand things better. tho that is not to say i can fully comprehend these conditions (cuz i never can unless i experience it myself)

n e ways, u r all loveli n i hope ur having an amazing day <3

just wanna preface that these bois would love anyone for who they are, and would do their best to support you in whatever ways possible <3

oikawa

✧ oikawa had been replying consistently to your messages before suddenly disappearing with no explanation,,,

✧ at first it seemed like nothing, but after several hours and follow up texts from yourself, you couldn’t help but think that maybe he just didn’t want to reply to you

✧ maybe he didn’t even like you anymore

✧ fear that every moment you shared together meant nothing settled in the pit of your stomach

✧ a while later you received a phone call from a very apologetic oikawa, who was explaining that he dropped his phone in the bowl of ramen he was eating and had to go to the store and wait for hours before finally getting a new one and--

✧ “a-are you crying? hey, what’s wrong? i’m sorry i was gone for so long. i’m here now.”

✧ will definitely come over immediately to give you reassuring cuddles

✧ “you mean the world to me. i never want to hurt you, and i never want to leave you, either.”

✧ makes sure to communicate very clearly with you to reassure you what he really means

✧ always reminding you how much he cares about you to reinforce in your head that he’s always going to be there for you

✧ does self-care days with you to destress because life is tough (*cue selfies with face masks and laying in bed for hours with each other’s comforting presence*)

✧ very quick to defend and protect you from people who hurt you. will ask, “excuse me, can i help you?” with a piercing glare that’ll get anyone to back down

✧ gives you constant reassurance about your stimming

✧ helps you interpret social cues and situations, gives you tips on how to handle your interactions with others and in under circumstances (as well as how to remain calm in your own mind)

✧ practices positive self-talk with you because he wants to help you see how great you are

✧ anyone who doesn’t see it is at a loss and is irrelevant, they don’t exist in oikawa’s book 💅

kuroo

✧ always educating himself so he knows how to be helpful

✧ unintentionally embarrassed you once by asking what you were doing when he caught you stimming once (which was when he found out about it)

✧ he was genuinely curious and meant no harm, and he apologized for bringing it up how he did

✧ however, he was glad he asked you so that he could be informed and reassure you that stimming is okay. he understands the importance of it and he’d prefer you have something to help you self-soothe. no judgment here, this is a safe space

✧ takes mental notes on all your favorite stims (verbal, visual, tactile, oral, proprioception, etc)

✧ even discovers new stims for you to try and buys you things to help with them (“here, this is a fidget spinner, y/n” or “you know they make CHEWABLE JEWLERY? they call it CHEWELRY. that’s genius. *typing on phone* what colors do you like, babe?” )

✧ encourages you to talk about your feelings and find additional coping strategies (“let’s try this neat breathing technique i learned about today!”)

✧ saves you from overwhelming situations (ie. pulling you out of a crowd, shutting down really noisy things, giving you space to clear your head and breathe)

✧ ruffles your hair as a sign of affection and calls you cute nicknames

✧ helps you study, make plans, and stay organized. tries to keep things interesting and interactive so you don’t lose interest/find it boring

✧ when you’re having an especially hard time focusing, he’ll pull you aside for a relaxing break like talking a small walk, watching an episode of y’alls favorite show, sharing a snack, playing a game, looking at memes or tik tok, chatting, etc

✧ makes sure to validate your feelings first and acknowledge your concerns before giving you his thoughts

✧ helps you view situations from a different perspective so you don’t assume rejection from others. when there is some form of rejection, he’s there to help you cope with the emotions 

✧ gives you a lot of hugs when you’re feeling dejected and lonely, reminding you he’ll never leave your side 

sugawara

✧ he’s quite perceptive, so when he noticed your unease, he asked you about it

✧ embarrassed but not wanting to lie, especially to suga, you admitted to being afraid of stimming around him and that you had been trying to hold back from it (even if it was hard)

✧ his eyes immediately soften as he tells you that there’s no reason to be embarrassed about it

✧ he just wants you to be yourself and feel comfortable

✧ learns about all of your stims. totally supports and normalizes them (however, if they’re ever self-injurous, he’ll do research and consult expert help to redirect the behavior)

✧ will absolutely take good care of you, he’s not sugamama for no reason

✧ a great listener! always hearing you out when you talk about your passions and interests

✧ wants you to express yourself however you can because he understands communication may not always be easy (reminder that communication and expression aren’t always verbal!)

✧ praises you and hypes you up all the time, going on about how there’s so much about you he loves

✧ has the most soothing voice ever. will whisper you sweet, reassuring words to calm and ease your mind

✧ will even just hum for you. lit rally anything. the suga juke box varies from lullabies to funky fresh songs

✧ very patient and will support you when you feel upset, frustrated, and/or have outbursts

✧ encourages you to talk about your feelings, but never pressures you. shares his own thoughts and feelings to help you open up, asks you thoughtful questions

✧ may be ultimate soft boi but gives anyone the look™ if they even just stare, and goes feral if someone’s ever rude to you in any way, calls them tf out and is #satisfied when he gets them to apologize

✧ also helps you study and be organized! good at creating schedules and encouraging you to stick with them

✧ constantly making sure you eat sufficient meals 😋 and get enough rest 😴 will nag you until you do

tendou

✧ MORE THAN HAPPY TO PROVIDE ALL THE STIMULATION YOU NEED, says it’s an opportunity to give each other mutual attention and bond

✧ but will also provide you an outlet for just relaxing and unwinding

✧ will talk to you for hours and hours about your favorite shows/movies/books

✧ BINGES THEM WITH YOU

✧ always treating you to your favorite snacks/flavors and discovering new things for you to try that will match your taste/texture preferences (only the best for u 😌)

✧ curious about how stims make you feel and asks you to describe those sensations to him  

✧ thinks it’s super cool when you can finish his sentences for him,,, cuz it’s like y’all on the same wavelength (you gellll)

✧ if anyone made you feel bad,,, o boy

✧ tendou would intimidate them to the point he would probably appear in their nightmares ffegjegk this is why you don’t fuck with this man or those who cares about 

✧ king of spontaneity and asks if you’re down to do the most random things

✧ “let’s buy a trampoline”

✧ *2 am* “you down for some fries and dip? and by dip i mean m i l k s h a k e s”

✧ of course he’ll never suggest things he knows you would be uncomfortable with. never puts you in a stressful situation and always makes sure you’re enjoying yourself

✧ invites you everywhere and makes sure you feel included. always by your side!

✧ squeezes your hand whenever he can tell you’re feeling anxious

✧ if you feel anxious about trying new things, he’s there to encourage you! recounts all the positive aspects 

✧ but if you’re really excited to try something, you bet he’ll match your excitement

✧ a very good listener. empathizes a lot with being misunderstood or seen as “different,” and is therefore a major source of comfort

✧ constantly showing you how to be yourself and that you shouldn’t feel ashamed about it, cuz that’s who he fell in love with

#haikyuu x reader #oikawa x reader #kuroo x reader #sugawara x reader #tendou x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #sugawara koushi x reader #tendou satori x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #requests

[minetteenfers]

Gonna sneak peak you all the first chapter of this novel I’m working on because I’m having too much fun with it. lol

Until I Found You Excerpt:(I don’t think I need to preface this, but it’s an adult romance novel. You’ve been warned. LOL)

Tags: ABO, primalkink, werewolves, werewolf/human romance, contemporary romance, cursing, drinking

Chapter 1: Thaniel

 I sat in my oxblood leather armchair in front of my stone fireplace, swirling my glass of whiskey in my hand.  I always liked to look presentable. I was the Alpha, the top man in my pack and I couldn’t look to be anything but. Not that I really took my title seriously. I didn’t ask to be cursed by a damn vexing woman. She had played me, dragged me in and made me fall until she could put something in my drink. Most of us are here because of some sort of magic. Some corrupted witches that decided to not play fair. Some might call them selkies or sirens, we just call them vexing women. And mine played me hard. 

I knew what my best attributes were and what my worst ones were, but it varied depending on the woman in my bed. One thing I knew for sure, I had a massive primal kink that could strangle a city. Most women found me to be terrifying, but a few were into it. It wasn’t my fault that I couldn’t control my urge to growl and pin a bitch to a bed. My urges to run my nose along their neck and take in their scent points behind their earlobes like a starved man that hadn’t partaken in his darkest vice. I craved it, needed it, but I wasn’t down for finding a mate. I enjoyed being alone. I enjoyed not having to worry about someone else. I just wanted to break my damn curse and not have to live this life. But everyone in this lifestyle knew one thing, there was no breaking it. Once a wolf? Always a wolf. You were a part of the pack until the day you were put in the damn ground like some forgotten sad soul. I was trapped. Trapped to become a wolf until the day I died and who knew how fucking long that would take.

 I cleared my throat and focused on the crackling fire. I had been told that I had to find an Omega soon, but I hadn’t come across one that I liked. I had been to many parties, all fancy, but I had never found her. I had never found the right mate, not that I wanted to. Like I said, I lived for being alone and fucking whatever and whoever my heart desired. Fuck the other shit.  

 Daniel Thate, my Beta best friend and right-hand man, had been giving me shit for years about it. It wasn’t like it was my fault that women were scared of me. Most of them that is.

I sighed and a corner of my lips curled up to showcase a fang as I brought my glass of whiskey to my lips, taking a long sip. My fangs ached to sink into a woman’s neck, but I wasn’t in the mood to hunt.

I honestly don’t know what it is about me that is so intimidating. I mean I am a tall man and I have broad shoulders, and maybe I am a bit overly muscular, but I am a good man. A damn fine man if you ask me. But sometimes the outside outweighed the inside. If I’m honest, I’m lonely. I want to settle down and have a few kids. I’m thirty and by now most of my friends have settled down with a couple kids under their belt. And all I have to say for thirty is a lavish home and this damn glass of whiskey that is currently in my hand. God damnit.

“Hey, are you heading to this party with me over at Evie’s?” Daniel barged into the room and pointed over his shoulder with his thumb.

He was slightly less muscular and shorter than I. His medium toned brown hair was pulled back in a high ponytail and his shirt was a crimson red. His black leather pants had crisscrossing leather along the sides of them and his black ankle boots were loose.

“I’m serious, man. You need to come out sometime. Evie has some hot friends. I’m sure you’ll find your Omega there.” Daniel smiled at me with this shit-eating grin that only showcased how hard he was trying to get my ass out there in the playing field with him, even though the damn bastard was taken.  I set my jaw and quietly growled as I brought my whiskey up to finish it. “C’mon man, don’t leave me hanging like last time…”

I sighed and threw my glass into the fire, causing it to flare up and shatter. I lacked all fucks at the moment. If he wanted me to go, fuck it, I’d go. I’d prove him wrong. No woman would really want to settle down with me. Fuck me? Sure. Settle down? Hell no. I was the type you took home to fuck, not bring home to your mother. I brought the black military styled boot that was resting on my thigh to the ground, as I grabbed onto the arms of the chair and pushed myself up to stand.

“Fuck it. You want me to go, I’ll go.” I walked out of the room and heard Daniel follow me out of the room.

“Thaniel. You’re gonna meet the right Omega. I’m telling you. Just give it time.” Daniel continued to follow me and while I loved the little shit, he annoyed me to death.

“I’m just going to humor you.” I sighed and got to my car, unlocking it with the key fob. “What club is it at?”

“Barbed Rose on Eve’s Street.” Daniel climbed into the passenger side and I slammed the car into gear. “You really think that no woman is gonna want that amazing body of yours? How many women you take home on the daily?”

I growled at him. It didn’t matter how many were in my damn bed. Not one single one wanted to fucking stay with my ass. It always ended in the girl leaving because I meant so little other than a quick railing.

“Who’s all going to be there?” I tried to focus on the road and not on my best friend, who was too excited for me to go to some party. I partially wondered if he had planned something for me there to surprise my ass. I hated surprises.

“Oh, ya know… the usual. Evie, Diane, Vix, Jason, Mike, Christian, more. The whole pack and their Chosens.” Daniel shrugged and I nearly slammed his face into the dash when I hit the break.

“Christian?” I hated him, absolutely despised the man. He was the biggest asshole of them all. One of those men that used women and felt they were his property.

“Chill. He won’t be trouble. He gave up on that years ago.” Daniel tried to calm me down, not that he could.

“To hell he won’t be. The man wreaks fucking trouble. Prove me wrong!” I shouted and pulled up to the valet parking at the club. “His ass so much as causes a scene among the human public so help me god.”

“Don’t worry, big shot. Jesus. Evie bought out the damn club. No humans will be within a twenty-mile radius tonight.” Daniel rolled his eyes at me and touched my forearm that wouldn’t stop flexing. The veins pressing against my skin about to bust.

“You better not be lying to me.” I growled through my clenched teeth, showing off my fangs and wolf-like golden eyes.

“Shit you not, man.” Daniel raised his hands in the air and my eyes shifted back to their normal warm brown color.

“I’m trusting you. One fuck up by Christian and I’m out.” I shoved my thumb over my shoulder with a jabbing motion.

That man was the worst Alpha to exist in our pack and I hated him with a fucking passion. The man could roast in fucking flames in the underworld with Hades for all I cared. He was sadistic and cruel. No bone in my body can appreciate a man that doesn’t appreciate a woman. Human or not.

I tossed my key to the valet and walked up to the club, adjusting my black silk button-down shirt’s rolled sleeves. I didn’t know why I had fucking decided to go here. Why did I want to be subjected to this? The bouncer at the front door was a friend of ours and Daniel fist bumped him before entering the joint. I gave the man a quick nod before getting engulfed by loud club music that bumped and vibrated off the walls.

“Sugar, you made it!” Evie ran up to her husband in six-inch heels that had my mind wandering how many surfaces they fucked on with them.

I shook my head and sighed, ignoring how my best friend gathered her up into his arms and made out with her like there was nothing better to do. Like I wasn’t in the damn room. I took my leave and made my way over to the bar, a place that I’d rather be. Drinking always made me feel better and made these parties more bearable.

I had barely gotten my beer in my hand before a hand clapped onto my back. I nearly spilled my drink as I jumped from the interaction with an unknown presence.

“Hey, how ya been, mate?” I recognized Jason’s voice with ease. He was from Australia and had been a resident for a few years now.

“Fine. Don’t you have something better to do than give me small talk?” I lifted my beer to my lips and took a swallow of it.

“Look, mate, I haven’t seen ya in ages. You don’t come out much.” He tapped the bar and ordered a dark lager.

“Not really my thing.” I shrugged and took another sip from my beer. It wasn’t as good as it could have been. I should have ordered something stronger.

“Yeah well, we missed ya.” Jason knocked his beer against mine before walking away.

It wasn’t until I heard a commotion behind me that I really cared about what was going on around me. I had barely even listened to Evie’s speech or to any of the other Omegas that had walked up to me. I was lost in my own thoughts about what I was even doing there. Why I was there. I could be sitting at home playing a game or watching TV.  But one thing I could not ignore was the sounds of a woman struggling behind me. It was then that I knew I was going to get my ass in trouble.

“Let go of me! I’m not some plaything to be had!” A female voice echoed past the crowd of people talking and drinking, filling my ears with her voice alone.

It wasn’t a tone that I wanted to hear tonight. It wasn’t even something I wanted to ever hear. It was a woman in distress and the voice that accompanied it was one that I really, really, hoped wouldn’t be connected to it.

“C’mon, baby girl, let me show you what a real Alpha can do. You don’t know what it’s really like until you been in bed with an Alpha male.”

Changed his old ways my ass. Christian Alpine, the one and only asshole. A man that closely resembled a damn monster rather than a man. He was no Alpha male; he was an abomination. A mistake that deserved to be cursed. He had practically begged for the damn bitch to curse him. No normal, decent human would beg for a vexed woman to curse them.

“I don’t want you. I didn’t even want to come to this damn thing. You dragged me here against my will like you- like you owned me!” The woman struggled and tugged on the chain that was connected to a metal collar around her neck.

I wasn’t having this shit. I could just walk out right now like I had planned. I told my fucking best friend I’d walk if Christian pulled this bullshit again, but he had told me he had changed. Lies! The man was right there, tugging a woman around by a fucking collar and leash against her will. He had defiled a beautiful thing. A collar was meant to be something special. Something that meant commitment in some cases. A sentiment of love and respect. A symbol of something more. Not what he was using it for.

I sniffed the air and one word fell into my mind. Human.

 Two of the songs on the playlist:

#primalkink #abo #werewolf #werewolf/humanromance #romancenovel #novel #books #WIP #chapter 1 #Until I Found You

[goingsllightlymad]

Baby It’s You - Part 2.

Pairing: Roger Taylor x reader, Brian May x reader

Summary: The year is 1981 and Roger Taylor is pretty sure he has made it. With the Game Tour stretching out before him and the band more successful than ever, he doesn’t think that anything can mess up the perfect picture that is his life. That is, until he receives a letter from an astrophysics PhD student studying abroad, and finds himself sucked into her world of secrets and mistaken identities. Roger Taylor is about to find out that his life is a lot more complicated than he ever thought.

Wordcount: 2392 (getting longer!). 

Warnings: I just love Roger Taylor a lot, okay? 

________________________________________________________________

An hour after Brian had left, Roger was still finishing up. Bags all around him on the bottom step of the never-ending flight of stairs that lead down from their apartment, he was making sure he took as much time as he could. He was late already, so he might as well be later. It annoyed Brian and he knew it - all those threats and empty promises of kicking Roger out of the band if he wasn't get to the tour bus on time weren't entirely lost on him, just had the wrong effect.

With that last thought of Brian's agitated face in mind, and the wonderful mental image of him pacing to and fro in front of the bus the way he probably was right now, Roger dropped off the last of his bags by the door, and made his way over to the little metal letter-boxes with the apartment numbers on the front. He had never really done this kind of dull domestic thing before, truth be told, and it took him a moment to pick out their box from the rows and rows stacked on top of each other. Brian was much more domestic than he had ever been, and on a nicer day he might have admitted that he could not live without him. But this was not that kind of day, and Roger Taylor was not in that kind of mood.

There were the usual parcels and notices - a wedding invitation from one of Brian's friends, a just-saying-hi letter from Tim Staffell like there was every week (Roger never read them but he knew that Brian did), a couple of bills and an advertisement for a recording studio nearby. He kept that one, put it in his pocket to show the others if he ever decided to show up at the bus as he knew he had to soon. And then at the bottom another envelope, small and neat. He picked it up, looked a little closer at the name written on the front in neat cursive script. The right house number, absolutely not the right name. Some guy called Ben, probably someone who lived somewhere downstairs. Probably the new guy, but Roger had no idea which number he was. He cast a momentary glance at all the letter-boxes in front of him, wondered whether he had the time or the patience to go through each one and look for names. True to his character and to the extraordinary number he saw, he did not.

There was a moment or two when he had to stand and think things through. The letter had been sent to the wrong address. But what to do when you had nowhere to send it to? Leave it on the side and hope for the best? Probably not a good idea - he had had a suspicion people were stealing Queen's mail for a while now, best not to put the idea to the test when this wasn't even his letter. Find Ben? God knows how many Ben's there must be in this building, and Roger was finally coming around to the idea that sooner or later he really had to get to the bus or else they might send Brian back to drag him there by brute force. What a comically horrifying thought.

So it was without much internal conflict that Roger slipped the letter into the pocket of his coat, with the advert for the studio, and locked up the letter-box once again. He could always open it and find out who had written it, maybe write back to the address it was sent from, just to explain. He figured they ought to know, at least. And it didn't seem like there were a lot of better options opening themselves up before him. Yes, he would read it as soon as they set off, get something back quickly and have no more to do about it. Or at least, so he resolved as he found his bags again, the thought already fading into the chaos of his mind, the prospect of the tour bleeding through in its place until he had almost forgotten about the letter entirely, standing by the worn front door.

With a final sigh and a grunt as he hoisted his bags onto his back once more, Roger left the building through the front door and made his way finally to the tour bus. It had to leave soon, and he was very very late.

________________________________________________________________________________

It was only that night, with the sun long since set and the others recently gone to bed, that Roger remembered the letter. He cursed quietly in the silence of the bed at the back of the tour bus, muttering something about the scrabble they had been playing all afternoon while the bus drove on to god knows where, and tried once more to close his eyes and fall asleep. Once more he was unsuccessful. Eyes closed and breathing slowed, the thought of the address came flooding back into his mind, insidious and unshakeable as a curse. He really had to read it now, because he was getting the idea that he could not sleep if he didn't.

He sat up, pressing his shaking hands against his thighs to steady them as he shivered in the cool night air. For the life of him he could not remember when July had got so cold. Groping around in the moonlight for his coat, he took out the letter from the pocket, straightened it out. Such pretty handwriting for someone who didn't know how a fucking address worked.

Dear Ben...

The silence in the tour bus lasted an eternity while he read, his lips moving gently as he murmured the words back to himself. From time to time he looked up from the page, lips quirking up into a soft half-smile as the words pulled him into their funny little world that he knew nothing about. And yet he had never felt as though he knew someone so well. It was almost too intimate, for a moment he had to stop and wonder if he was really doing the right thing. This was a moment when the curtain was ripped aside momentarily, and through the gap he caught a glimpse of someone else living a life that was so different to his own. He felt as though he were walking into a cinema halfway through a film, picking up a character from all the scraps of words they let him see. He could not look away if he tried.

When at last the words ran out at the bottom of the page, he blinked slowly, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness that seemed to have wrapped itself around him while he was unaware. How to tell this girl, (Y/N), that he wanted to, needed to, know more. There was something so addictive about this boring little life she lead, where the pigeons outside her window got more action than her. Roger could never understand what that was like.

Making sure not to wake the others as they sprawled out on the beds along the bus, Roger found the little scrabble table, the pencils and paper they used to score. He took a clean sheet and tried to write.

Dear (Y/N) (Y/L/N),

I must preface this letter with the sincere apology that I am not, in fact, Ben. Not through some lack of effort of yours, I am sure, this letter was addressed to entirely the wrong person, and has reached myself instead of whoever it was intended to go to. Which is fine - I certainly enjoyed reading your letter, and in fact I should hate to leave this here. You seem to lead such a more exciting life than I do!

I wish I could understand your PhD woes, really, but it is my primary flaw that I was never the most academic of all my friends. If I could do what you are doing, I would, but the problem is I just can't. I fear I would die of boredom and stress from the very get-go, and that would be a rather unfortunate situation for everyone involved, I fear. Still, I have no doubt that, whatever it is you are studying, you are coping brilliantly (albeit complainingly!). It seems I must rely upon you to live out vicariously my dreams of doing anything vaguely intellectual successfully; I hope you do not mind!

You've made me quite frantic just reading about your late night habits, my love! He's probably right, you know - you really ought to get some sleep. One of my mates keeps going on about something like that ("self care" apparently, which sounds a lot like bullshit but it seems I'll be preaching it now like the utter hypocrite that I am) to me, which of course I have never listened to because I have a horrible habit of never actually listening to my mates, but I think you need some of that. Not that you're going to listen to me. Not that you should listen to me. My advice is terrible. Just ignore me, I'm having an internal crisis here.

New York is indeed very... different to what we are used to. I used to hate it there because all I could associate it with was travelling and being away from home, but now I suppose I don't mind as much. I'm more used to travelling now. Not that that's an especially bad thing. New York does have nicer diners, and the accent makes me laugh more than I really ought to. I lose my shit every time someone orders a coffee like that. Good on your pigeons though - maybe not so good on you but good on them all the same. At least they're having a nice time. Well, at least the male pigeon is. And they say romance is dead.

How must you live without a radio? I think I would keel over and die immediately without my music. I wouldn't tell it to my friends (they'd call me a right wuss and I fear I haven't the stability of ego to withstand such a low blow) but I sometimes think my soul is made of music. That band thing sounds interesting! Maybe you should go along just in case - see if you like them. I hear they're fantastic.

Roger didn't comment on the last half of that paragraph. Something in it made him feel like he was standing in someone else's place, reading something he was never meant to see. Something he would never share, because no one had ever said those kind of things to him before. He wondered if that was love, and hoped it wasn't. He'd like to think that he had been loved before, and he knew that he had never been loved quite like this.

You know I have to ask - who on earth are Lennon and McCartney? Please god don't tell me you have half of the Beatles living in your apartment or else I really must find out who you might possibly be. Princess Bride with the Beatles... what a thought. I've never seen it - I think I should have but I haven't. Nothing personal, not really, I've just never been the sort for sappy romance films. All that nonsense about "true love" and "happily ever after", I'd feel like a 9-year-old girl with a crush. It's all just a scam, really. No way that kind of thing isn't all made up. No way at all.

A wedding? Wow, sounds nice. Sorry, I'm just not used to that kind of thing. What do you even say to it? Congratulations on not having broken up by now? Good luck doing the same things you were doing before you got married but with extra legal bindings? I can't wait until you have kids and our friendship becomes second to them? Not for me, no sir. Not for anyone like me either. Just not ideal exactly in this line of work. Think I'll have to stick with being forever alone, eh? But congratulations (or something like that) to your brother and his... spouse.

Thank you again for brightening up my boring little day, and I hope you write again "as you wish",

Anon.

He didn't sign his name at the bottom - he thought perhaps it might be better to let her form her own opinions of him in her own time, instead of telling her straight away. It wouldn't let out his address, he promised himself as he slumped forwards against the table, head in his hands. Now that that was done, he suddenly felt so dreadfully tired, and he knew his sleep would only be plagued by thoughts of this mystery girl. For there was that smaller part of him, deep down in the pit of his chest where he thought his heart must be, that whispered to him that he did not want her to know who he was because for the first time in his life he had found someone who might like him for something other than that name. He found something that might stick around.

There were no envelopes in the van, and he made a quick promise to find one at the hotel the next morning, and send it out straight away, so she got the letter as quickly as possible. To send something to her boyfriend, he thought. And then, to send something to me. With a sigh and a shake of his head, he tucked the letter away in the pocket of his jeans, sleeping in his clothes as he had taken to doing on tour, and picked his way silently back to his bed. 

________________________________________________________________

It was not hard to see that Roger Taylor had something to hide. Not when he broke away from the rest of the band the minute they had arrived at the hotel, not when he begged for half an hour in his room before they went out to check out the venue, and definitely not when out of the window John caught a glimpse of their drummer rushing off to the letter-box on the corner of the street, in his hand an envelope and in the envelope god knows what. 

Taglist:

@rogertaylorsfalsettogivesmehives

#roger taylor x reader #brian may x reader #rogertaylorxreader #brianmayxreader #roger taylor #brian may #queen #queen band #queen x reader #queen fanfiction #fanfiction #reader insert

[cat-scarr]

Ben Tennyson′s Best Traits

Just to preface, I think a lot of us in this fandom can agree that when a character acts or is written in a displeasing manner, we tend to dislike them. We may even go so far as to say that we hate these kinds of characters. We end up holding grudges against those who have done us wrong or caused harm to someone we love. Arguably, that is just human nature, even if these grudges can often be considered petty. I will be the first to admit that I am guilty of this. 

This is why I find it interesting that the character which has had these unfair circumstances be written into his story or has been bullied by the largely disliked characters in the series does not even do this himself. Quite the opposite, he seems to be much more cooperative, forgiving, and understanding in many cases where I, personally, know that I would not be same way. 

It is even credited by the writers that one of Ben’s best traits is his “good heart.” 

(Source: Ben 10 Alien Force: The Complete Guide by Tracey West and Katherine Noll) 

I’d like to take a moment to commemorate Ben’s best traits, because, as you may know, his “flaws” are a hot debate in this fandom. 

Perhaps this is because flaws are something each of us have and therefore we can relate to imperfections and shortcomings. 

However, if that is the case, what is the point of criminalizing someone for minor imperfections when the things he is praised for greatly outshine those subjective “flaws”?

These traits are actually argued by some to be inconsistent throughout the series run, typically by those who have a distaste for Omniverse, and interestingly even by some who actually enjoy Omniverse. However, going through the following examples taken from each series in order, it seems that these traits actually are consistent and allow for continuity and even visible character development. 

One of the most obvious examples where we can see these traits is Ben’s friendship with Kevin. From the beginning, in the original series episode “Kevin 11″, even after Kevin had betrayed him for the first time, Ben is still shown to be willing to give him another chance. 

Kevin : “I guess I went too wild with power. I don’t have anyone else like you to help me.” 

Ben: “We can still be partners. We’d just be kicking butts for good instead of for ourselves. You could hang with us.”

According to this episode, Kevin had been abandoned by his parents and he clearly had some untreated mental conditions which clouded his judgement. However, he was still capable of understanding other people’s intentions and, probably due to the life he was living at the time, had still chosen to turn to violence. He disregarded the safety of others as a cause of a petty grudge on those who had apparently done him wrong, or caused him harm, and this only dug him an even deeper grave. 

As Kevin said, at the time, there wasn't anyone besides Ben who was willing to try to look past his destructive and damaged way of being in the interest of helping him heal. In spite of this, some have argued that because the Tennysons allowed Kevin to just get away at the end, it makes them responsible for the way Kevin’s life had turned out throughout the next five years. 

However, if Ben was to be seen as responsible for getting them kicked out of the hotel for the stunt he pulled in the beginning of the episode, should Kevin not be seen as responsible for his own actions here as well? 

Ben had clearly stated that he was willing to help him, and Kevin did not take that chance. He chose to run away instead, perhaps because that was all he knew how to do at that point in his life.

The Omniverse flashbacks which took place between the original series and Alien Force revealed that Kevin was willing to trust others if they had some common ground, namely Proctor Servantis. 

The only difference is that Ben was genuine while Servantis was manipulative. 

Servantis made Kevin believe that the destruction he could cause would serve a greater purpose, making him part of something bigger than himself. He was no longer alone, and no longer fighting for just himself because he was made to believe that Ben was the problem, and he was the solution.

“Crazy?! I got friends in high places now, brat! I'm the hero, you’re the problem! And all this time you let me think I was the problem, when it’s you! All of you! You’re the problem! And I'm the solution!”  - Hybrid Kevin, Omniverse: “Weapon XI: Part 2″

In spite of all of this, come “Ben 10 returns”, Ben puts all of their past differences aside and offers another chance at redemption. Which, as we all know, Kevin takes for real this time. 

Prior to “Alone Together”, Ben and his team had been fighting the Highbreed and DNAliens, trying to put an end to their operation. 

The Highbreed were literally the cause of so much trauma that the team endured within the first two seasons. The Highbreed are the reason Max had “sacrificed” himself back in “Max Out”, and because “Alone Together” happens before “Voided”, where Max is revealed to still be alive, Ben is still under the impression that Max is gone and he is still grieving. 

In spite of this, “Alone Together” shows Ben trying to cooperate with a Highbreed, and even helping him survive, rather than being vengeful and holding a grudge against one of those who had arguably contributed to his own suffering. 

The following page (from the Ben 10 Alien Force: The Complete Guide book) credits him for this as well:

If Ben had not taken the initiative to try to find a common ground with Reiny so that they could survive their temporary stay on Turrawuste, and continued to attempt to persuade him to change his ideology, do you really think that Reiny would have done so on his own?

All of Ben’s efforts shown here are the reason the Highbreed war could be stopped in “War of the Worlds.”

Imagine what would have happened if the Omnitrix reconstructed the DNA of all Highbreeds, and Reiny didn’t show up to show them that they can still live, even without the “genetic consistency that had been a pillar of their cultural identity for so long.” They seemed to whole-heartedly believe that immediately committing mass suicide would be their only remaining “honorable” move. 

The War would have ended with mass suicide of an entire species had Ben’s kindness and cooperation not impacted Reiny’s world view. 

Reinrassig III: “No. There is another way. This human once cured an ailment of mine by changing my DNA. At first, I thought the impurity a curse, but I have since learned otherwise. Fellow Highbreed, we can live.”

The Highbreed were very stuck in their ways due to the beliefs that were deeply ingrained in their culture and mentality. As we know from the real world, societal values change over time as we progress and learn from our history. Because of Ben’s willingness to communicate and cooperate with Reiny in “Alone Together”, everyone was able to move forward in harmony with a new positive outlook on their place in the universe, promoting positive change in societies - something that fighting to the death in search of revenge would not achieve. 

Speaking of people who are stuck in their ways, “Reflected Glory” brings back Cash and JT, Ben’s childhood bullies. 

“Fame” seemed to attempt to redeem them somewhat, however, their actions in this episode take away from that significantly. 

If you take into account all the events that make up Ben’s life throughout Alien Force, and all the burdens he had to carry at the age of fifteen in secret, perhaps you’ll realize that having his identity revealed in Ultimate Alien culminating in what is seemingly a loss of trust by those who he was trying so hard to protect in the first place can be quite damaging. 

Where all his efforts for nothing? 

Had he risked his life all this time only for members of his own species to disown him?

It wasn't even only immature kids at school, it was grown adults like Will Harangue who publicly spoke ill of a teenage boy they didn't even know personally. And, as you may know, there are some people in this world who will blindly agree with everything they hear, so it wouldn't be surprising if there were other adult viewers of the Harangue Nation who agreed with Harangue’s views.

“Ben Tennyson: threat or menace? Call in with your vote.” 

And, if they agree with his hypocritical views, who’s to say they wouldn't also agree with his rather destructive, threatening, and menacing actions? 

Attempting to kill a teenager, for instance, as shown in Ultimate Alien’s “Video Games”, and, not taking into account the fact that, if Ben was really a threat, actual law enforcement would get involved rather than working alongside him.

The scene where Ben walks into the school hallway, with all these judging gazes turned his way is very powerful because, knowing Cash and JT, they absolutely could have taken the chance to humiliate him again since Ben had put them in their place in Alien Force’s “The Gauntlet.” 

Instead, he got a much deserved round of applause from everyone, including and initiated by Cash and JT.

The only thing that strikes me as problematic about this is the implication that all these immature teenagers have the power to criticise him and make him feel inadequate. They get to choose whether he deserves to be praised or vilified without truly knowing what he had just gone through. 

Why should the opinions of people like Cash, JT, or Harangue even matter?

Does Ben not deserve to feel proud of himself regardless of what they think of him?

Do they realize that they are all even still there to make him feel inadequate only because he had saved everyone from being destroyed by the Highbreed through all his work and dedication throughout the first two seasons of Alien Force?

Do they realize the severity of what could have happened?

The DNA aliens were actually innocent people who were abducted. It could have been any of the kids in that hallway. It may be less likely, but it could have even been Harangue himself.

Imagine the mass hysteria of so many missing persons cases across the US, and then realizing it had all been due to aliens that Ben had, not only stopped, but managed to make peace with in the end.

That is why, in “Reflected Glory”, Cash and JT taking advantage of Ben’s fame and wanting to be seen as equal to him, without doing any of the work or enduring practically none of what he has, is disgusting. 

It is disgusting because they don’t seem to realize why Ben is famous. 

The events that I have just outlined unfold in a sort of butterfly effect. Ben’s actions in the events of one episode have a significant impact on the outcome of a later part of the story. 

For example, Ben consistently giving Kevin another chance to redeem himself eventually leads into Kevin actually taking him up on the offer and developing a healthy, productive relationship with Ben and Gwen where he can heal. Or, Ben’s small acts of kindness impacting one Highbreed’s ideology so much that it literally saved the world and changed the values of the entire Highbreed population. 

Cash and JT’s excuse is that they feel like “nobodies” due to their own bad choices. I can understand wanting to do good due to being “inspired” by Ben’s heroic deeds, but that is another thing entirely that isn’t even at play in their thought process here. 

They thought that Ben owed them for their little round of applause. 

Can you really equate Cash and JT swallowing their pride to give Ben the credit he deserved, and Ben risking his life in secret for the majority of Alien Force in order to make sure the entire universe is saved, including people he might not like, such as Cash and JT? 

They have the audacity to want to be called heroes, and think that capitalizing on someone else’s past trauma will grant them that title. Cash even partially lied about the “real” reason he needed the money this production will bring in, claiming it was for mother’s operation, rather than just a nose job, knowingly taking advantage of Ben’s good heart and cooperative nature.

As Max put it, “being a hero isn’t about other people knowing you did something good, it’s about you knowing you did something good.” 

Because they didn't seem to gain anything from taking Ben’s side at school, it wasn't enough for them to just know they've done something good. Instead, they've chosen to pretend they've done something good by pretending to be the “brains behind Ben 10.” And that in itself would be considered doing something bad instead. 

Realistically, Ben didn't have any obligation to allow them to pull him into a gigantic lie for no one’s benefit but their own, but, as shown in the previous examples, Ben’s empathy for those who have taken the wrong path in life seems to be the reason for him allowing them to continue doing this.

However, Cash, JT, and their camera man sticking around, unarmed, while Ben, Gwen, and Kevin are dealing with dangerous criminals just goes to show how negligent Cash and JT are about the safety of others. It can make it harder for Ben to do his job properly if they get in the way, making them a liability. This is exactly what happens once the fight with Psyphon begins. Which, by the way, was actually caused by Psyphon having caught wind of them claiming be the “brains behind Ben 10″ anyway.

A similar thing occurs in Omniverse’s “Collect This”, where others, namely Professor Hokestar, Simian, and Deefus Veeblepister, are trying to capitalize on, what is not only Ben’s achievements, but his entire life at this point. 

Can you imagine being a sixteen year old superhero, technically, a full time space cop, your work comparable to that of a soldier, who we know serve their country and risk their life protecting others everyday...and without your knowledge, there are others out there who are just using the concept of your everyday wins and loses to make a profit off of?

Ben is practically dealing with a case of identity theft. 

He had every right to be bothered by the idea of someone else taking advantage of his name again. Not only because this has happened to him before, specifically in Ultimate Alien’s “Double or Nothing”, but because along with his name comes all that he has accomplished and endured in order to make that name so famous. To make a profit of it, and possibly make him look bad in the process, without his consent, is an issue. 

Instead of focusing on how much this probably aggravated him, he handled the situation in the episode in a reasonable, intelligent, and mature way, showing his character development and how reliable he is. The Earth was about to be “collected”, and Ben put aside all the things that bothered him personally about the situation to prioritize saving the world again, and on a time limit too!

Deefus Veeblepister: “Look kid, I know who you are. I didn’t make ‘Ben 10′ a household name just so your little ‘hero thing’ can steal my thunder.”

“I suggest you make a new name for yourself. It’s confusing!” 

Deefus had claimed to have made “Ben 10″ a household name. Meaning, the name is apparently only as famous as it is now due to the TV show produced by Hokestar. However, this is blatantly false, unfair, and offensive.

Just to reiterate what we should all know by now, “Ben 10″ technically became a household name after Ben made peace with the Highbreed in Alien Force’s “War of the Worlds”, news of this success spreading throughout the galaxy, and inspiring beings from other planets to contact Ben personally and award him a medal or ask for help with their own planetary crisis, such as in the Alien Force episodes “Vengeance of Vilgax” and “Simple”, respectively. And, it goes without saying that Ben’s fame spread to Earth come Ultimate Alien. 

But, let’s not forget this is all because of what he did. It is as a cause of all the battles he fought and all the pain, loss, fear, and criticism he suffered throughout Alien Force and Ultimate Alien that made him, and his name, so well known. That should not be undermined and reduced to just an insignificant “little hero thing.” 

Please realize that this isn’t even something Ben himself ever brings up in the actual episode either. I have no doubt that it bothers him to some extent, but he surprisingly lets them off the hook as long as they don’t cause any more real danger to real people during the process of making their show, and subsequently, stop giving him a bad name. 

The, so-called, “real” Ben 10 (Deefus) was supposedly based on the hero Ben 10 (the Ben we know), and that in and of itself implies that he is a representation of the hero Ben 10. But, aside from some similar catchphrases and a colour-scheme accurate costume...the most important part of Ben’s character, the parts that make him a hero, all the good traits I keep outlining, which are derived from his humanity, were lacking. In fact, while pretending to be a hero, this guy actually caused a traffic accident!

It goes without saying that Ben obviously fixed this mess as cleanly and quickly as he could. He absolutely could have taken this chance to be what the fandom deems “immature” and gloat about how he is a much better superhero because he’s the real hero here! Did you see how effortlessly he just saved that guy?!

But he doesn’t do that at all. His actions and words here should clearly point to where his priorities are. 

“You put real people in real danger. I’m putting a stop to it.”

Lastly, as shown in this popular Tumblr post, the fandom was very proud of him in the ending scene especially. First of all, he never got an apology for all the trouble they've caused him. Hardly anyone showed Ben the respect he deserved for literally giving them something to capitalize on. But, as soon as Deefus finds something “offensive”, Ben has enough decency to be the better person, apologize, correct himself, and use Deefus’ preferred terminology instead of continuing to be “offensive”, which is very telling considering Ben has probably been offended the entire episode up until now. 

Ben: “This guy’s just a Sludgepuppy who turns into pretend aliens.”

Deefus: “Hey! That term is derogatory!” 

Ben: “What’s the big deal with the word “Sludgepuppy”l? I’ve got cousins who are Sludgepuppies.”

Deefus: “I’ll have you know it’s a very offensive slur.”

Ben: “Really? Wow. Sorry. Okay, a few Lenopan cousins.” 

Even Deefus was taken aback by Ben’s maturity here. And where does that come from, might you ask? 

Character development and continuity. 

All of these circumstances showcase scenarios that are greatly unfair in Ben’s favour. In spite of this, he is continuously cooperative, understanding, forgiving, and reliable. 

Throughout all four series.

#did I just write him a love letter #lowkey #and I regret nothing #anyway I still see people claiming that he's all these bad things #whatever the case may be #but they never use examples like I do #that's what I hate the most #like...explain #plz #writing all this takes time and effort #I should know #but it actually gets your point across #ben 10 #ben tennyson #ben 10 alien force #ben 10 ultimate alien #ben 10 omniverse #essay files

[cameoamalthea]

The Traveler: Abusive, Gaslighting and Toxic or Flawed Character Critical Role E2103 SPOILERS

I will preface this by saying, as a survivor of abuse living with C-PTSD, I understand triggers and respect the feelings of anyone who was uncomfortable or upset by the way Artagan spoke to Jester. 

Many in the chat commented things along the line of ‘he sounds like an abusive boyfriend” “toxic” “gas lighter”. 

And to be honest, it’s fantastic that fans are able to recognize warning signs of abusive behavior. Fiction, even deeply flawed problematic fiction that actively romanticizes abuse (cough, Twilight, cough), is a great starting point to discus if a relationship presented is healthy and learn the skills to recognize red flags. 

“Is that relationship healthy/abusive?” is a great question to ask about fictional relationships because analyzing the behaviors will give you tools to notice if your friends or partners are behaving in toxic ways and to evaluate if someone should be in your life.

That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy fictional relationships in media that aren’t healthy. You can. Fiction is also a place to just enjoy fantasies, including danger. Whether that danger is something, like a dragon or a relationship with a power imbalance, like a dragon but a really sexy dragon that is dating the protagonist. 

It’s just important to recognize what wouldn’t be ok in real life, especially if it’s something certain romance books have presented as super deep love and stuff (cough, Fifty Shades of Gray, cough) when in real life, that’s abuse. 

So let’s talk about Artagan’s behavior in Critical Role E2C103:

Let’s start by defining some terms:

Abuse: treat (a person or an animal) with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly. (source)

Gaslighting: manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity (source)

Toxic: any relationship [between people who] don’t support each other, where there’s conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s competition, where there’s disrespect and a lack of cohesiveness. (source)

Unhealthy: relationships where people may feel anxious, confused, uncertain and even unsafe (source - also great resource you guys!)

The relationship between Jester and Artagan, as it currently stands, is certainly unhealthy. He is not open and honest with her, leaving her to feel anxious, confused and uncertain. He knowingly put her in an unsafe situation without her consent (you cannot consent unless you are informed of everything you’re agreeing to ahead of time). Putting someone in a situation where they don’t feel comfortable is toxic and abusive. 

Every person has a right to control their own body and comfort. It’s not ok for anyone to make you do something against your will, including by omitting information.

Ex) You agreed to go somewhere with someone but they decide that the trip is going to be longer, leaving you feeling trapped because you want to leave and did not agree to this. Even if this longer trip poses no risk to you, you did not agree to it. 

Artagan should have told Jester about the dangers posed by the island before hand. 

Game wise, he couldn’t do that because Matt Mercer’s plan was to trap the characters in a dangerous situation they could not escape or work around and had to face head on.  As a DM he is playing a game where everyone playing consented to allow him to put their characters in danger because pretend danger can be fun (thrill rides, haunted houses, etc). The players have been very good at cleverly thinking their way around problems, which is fair and also good playing. Outsmart the Hag, outrun the Dragon Turtle, but Matt wanted to build his players a trap they could not escape, that would be challenging and scary. Because the object of the game for Matt Mercer is to give his players an exciting story and make their characters heroes.

Narratively, he didn’t because Artagan is a fey and does not have the same levels of capacity for empathy. It likely never occurred to him that Jester would be hurt because if she forgot herself on the island and joined the cult he would simply taker and those she cared about back to safety. In his mind, he has nothing to worry about in terms of her safety so she has nothing to worry about.

‘I’m not worried, so you shouldn’t be worried either.’ Is a toxic mindset because it invalidates another person’s feelings. You cannot control how anyone else feels and you should not force anyone into anything they don’t agree to even if it wouldn’t bother you. You have to ask them. 

Which brings us to gaslighting. A form of abuse where the abuser goes beyond not acknowledging the other person’s feelings or taking their feelings into consideration, to actively trying to manipulate them into questioning their own reality. 

Beyond ‘I did something without taking your feelings into consideration and now you’re hurt but it’s not my fault because I didn’t mean to hurt you’ to “What do you mean I did something, that never happened” or “What do you mean I didn’t take your feelings into consideration, we talked about this and you said you were fine, it’s not my fault you don’t remember that.” 

Examples of Gaslighting language:

1. “If you were paying attention…”

2. “If you were listening…”

3. “If you knew how to listen…”

4. “We talked about this. Don’t you remember?”

5. “I guess I’ll have to repeat myself since you can’t remember.”

6. “You need to learn to communicate better.”

7. “You’re being irrational.”

8. “Don’t you think you’re over-reacting?”

9. “You’re just over-sensitive.”

10. “Stop being so sensitive.”

11. “You’re too emotional.”

12. “You can’t take a joke.”

13. “You’re so thin-skinned.”

14. “You always jump to the wrong conclusion.”

15. “Stop taking everything I say so seriously.”

16. “Can you hear yourself?”

17. “I criticize you because I like you.”

18. “You’re the only person I have these problems with.”

19. “You’re reading too much into this.”

20. “I’m not arguing; I’m discussing.”

21. “I know what you’re thinking.”

22. “You should have known that this was not a good time to talk.”

23. “Why are you upset? I was only kidding.”

24. “Why would you think that? What does that say about you?”

(source) 

Gaslighting goes beyond failing to validate someone’s feelings “I’m sorry you feel that way” to actively invalidating their feelings “Why do you feel that way, you have no reason to”  However, the phrase “I’m sorry you feel that way” also known as a “non-apology apology” can itself be be gaslighting in certain contexts as it “may imply the person took offense for hypersensitive or irrational reasons.” However, a non-apology in personal relationships is not always gaslighting.

“Statements that use the word "sorry" but do not express responsibility for wrongdoing may be meaningful expressions of regret.

But

such statements can also be used to elicit forgiveness without acknowledging fault.” Not taking responsibility for how your actions impact others is manipulative, wanting forgiveness without accepting fault and realizing what you did wrong so that you won’t do it again.

Artagan is ABSOLUTELY an irresponsible person. He hates responsibility and is actively working to get out of his responsibilities (which is ironic, working to avoid work). He has never had to take responsibility for anything, even feeling regret may well be against his nature as a fey. He does not know how to apologize and he does need to learn. 

Because it doesn’t matter that he did not mean to scare Jester, he did scare her. He scared her so much that he brought her to tears. If he does not recognize fault he cannot change the behavior that led to hurting her int he first place i.e. saying I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I should have told you implies in the future he will tell her. 

Healthy relationships take work and a willingness to work on changing your own behavior. 

Refusing to take responsibility can absolutely be a sign of gaslighting. (source) Especially, if responsibility is shifted onto the victim. 

That said, failure to apologize the right way can also be a sign that someone does not know how to apologize or take responsibility. That is something that has to be learned. 

Saying “I’m sorry you’re hurt” can be rooted in empathy, you regret that the person is hurt and can even be appropriate if it is not your responsibility.

Now here’s where things get complicated. Other people’s feelings are not always your responsibility. 

This is important because as stated above, abusers may shift responsibility onto the victim. i.e. ‘Now you’re crying, can’t you see how much that’s upsetting me? Why are you trying to make me feel bad? Why do you want to hurt me?”

Making a victim feel guilty can be a tool abusers use to control their victim and keep them in the relationship or keep them silent about the abuse. Victims can be trained to see it as their job to make sure others are always happy and take responsibility for other people’s emotion. ‘I’m sorry I upset you,’ says the victim. 

A healthy relationship is not simply taking responsibility is someone else is hurt. It’s knowing when to take responsibility and when to set a boundary because the other person’s feelings aren’t reasonable.

For example, “I can’t believe went out with your other friends tonight. I thought I was important to you. Why do you need any other friends, I should be enough. I’m really hurt.”

The correct response is absolutely “I’m sorry you feel that way, but I am allowed to have other relationships.” 

You should absolutely NOT validate the idea that you don’t need anyone else and should have put them first. 

If someone is asking you to do something that is harmful to you because it hurts them if you don’t agree, that’s not your problem. 

Everyone has to learn to take responsibility for their own emotions, because there are times where a person’s feelings are something they need to work on. 

The “non-apology apology” runs the gambit from gaslighting (suggesting the feelings are irrational), to avoiding responsibility and making yourself the victim, to failing to take responsibility and understand what you did wrong, to appropriate depending on the circumstances. 

It’s not black and white, and we must be careful to avoid black and white thinking as that itself can lead to unhealthy or even toxic behaviors. (source). And because behaviors like “suddenly moving people from the “good person” category to the “bad person” category” are unhealthy, I think it’s useful to examine our response when fictional characters have flaws. It can provide a space to examine our feelings and behaviors.

Setting boundaries and leaving unhealthy relationships is an important skill, of course, but so avoiding dichotomous thinking. 

“Dichotomous thinking often shifts between idealizing and devaluing others. Being in a relationship with someone who thinks in extremes can be really difficult because of the repeated cycles of emotional upheaval.” (Id.) 

Many read Artagan’s response to Jester as gaslighting. However, it falls more towards the avoiding responsibility part of the spectrum. 

That’s not healthy. Artagan should have taken responsibility. 

“Please don’t ever think I’m not looking out for your best interests” 

“Oh dear thing, I don’t mean to put you through this.”

“I’m sorry if you felt abandoned”

Is not taking responsibility. He did put her through this and hurt her, he did leave her in a situation where she feared he would abandon her and doubted if he was looking out for her best interests because he did not communicate. 

That said, the conversation does not cross into gas-lighting because he does not invalidate the way Jester feels. 

He takes action to address her concerns: Making a Binding Promise, a fey promise is like a devil’s contract. It’s deep unbreakable magic and not something a fey would give for nothing, but he does, freely, because he recognizes that she needs assurance that he will look out for her. 

He takes responsibility.

“You’re right, I should have been a little more forthright with you with information.”

Yeah, he should have, and Jester calls him on it. She’s there for extra days, meaning more danger, because he did not warn her. When she realizes she’s yelling at him, she apologizes and he says:

“It’s alright.”

He does not invalidate that she’s upset and it’s fair thats she’s yelling at him. Instead he focuses on addressing what’s upsetting her i.e. fear of losing her memory and being left on an island enslaved to a monster

“I would have come back.” 

And she’s ok, and she knows it’s the truth because he has promised her to come back and in this fantasy fey rules context, that means he cannot break his word.  In real life, promising is not enough because actions show change and that takes time. And it is important to remember that abusers aren’t 100% awful all the time. Abuse is often followed by a honeymoon period. However, in the context of analyzing this scene Artagan making a promise is itself an action taken.  He has a long way to be a good friend and what he did was wrong and his initial responses do not take responsibility. He should have said, from the start. 

“I did not plan to leave you here. I will always look out for your best interests. I’m sorry I was not more forthright with you with information and put you in a frightening situation. I’m sorry for scaring you. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry I have not been there for you in the way you need.”

And while he did take responsibility and acknowledge what he did wrong, he didn’t accompany that with an I’m sorry. 

To me, that comes down more on the side of flawed character rather than irredeemable abusive/toxic/gas-lighter. 

Admitting you were wrong and the other person is right is the opposite of gas lighting and Artagan did that. 

#Critical role spoilers #Artagan #The Traveler #critical role discourse #tw gaslighting #tw abuse

[tobashiarg-blog-archive]

Turns Out Being a Super Hero Is Actually Really Gay! - Chapter 6

Boom bitches! Guess who’s fucking back! Thank you all for your endless support and patients because that is truly the thing that motivates me to write this. The fact that you all are having fun and enjoying my story brings me so much joy! Once again, thank you to the brilliant @sugarglider9603 and @ask-spiderverse-virgil for creating this au, go show give them all the love in the world! Now please, ENJOY!!!

(TRIGGER WARNING: minor assault/harassment ((don’t worry it’s stopped before it happens)), homophobic slurs ((the f word)), and mild homophobia)

Master Post

Beginning

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

It was bound to be awkward for a while but this was just getting ridiculous. Ever since Virgil had stepped into Roman’s apartment, they hadn’t said a single word to each other, merely keeping to themselves and doing their half of the work. It wasn’t like Roman didn’t WANT to talk to Virgil it was just…him and Virgil had this really tense…relationship? No, not like that! Like in that way where you have no idea if you’re friends or not. Roman didn’t want to say something that might sound rude or be interpreted the wrong way and set Virgil off. It wasn’t like her was TRYING to be rude it’s just he kind of liked pushing Virgil’s buttons and he knew for a fact Virgil liked pushing his, they just had no idea where a line should be drawn. Unlike with him and Logan where it was a clash of ego vs ego, with Virgil it was like this sort of game.

“So…” Virgil said suddenly, causing Roman to jump a bit in surprise “…where are you in your part of the essay?”

Roman looked down at his notes before looking to scan his laptop at the Word document he had open, “Just about finished, about two or three more paragraphs. Then I’ll go over and edit out all the grammatical and spelling mistakes.”

“Cool,” Virgil nodded awkwardly “I’m about the same.”

“Cool.” Roman echoed.

Silence filled the room, even more awkward then before.

“Are you a witch?” Jenni asked. The boy turned to find the twins still hiding behind the couch, though it was less hiding and more hanging off the back of it.

“Excuse me?” Virgil asked, confused.

Roman wanted to scream but he didn’t, so instead he let the twins continue to embarrass him. For some reason lately Jenni has been really obsessed with witches, maybe it had to do with that girl, Scarlet Witch, that keeps showing up with the Avengers. She wasn’t as “scary” as the Black Widow so it was only natural for Jenni to gravitate towards her as an idol. Jenni repeated her question, “Are you a witch?”

“Of course, he’s not, dummy!” Marco snorted “He’s a boy! Only girls can be witches!”

“Harry Potter was a witch!” Jenni countered, getting up in Marco’s face.

“Nah-uh, he was a wizard, stupid!” Marco replied, just as stubborn.

“Roman, Marco called me a bad word!” Jenni screeched, pointing an accusing finger at her twin.

“Marco, that’s not very nice, apologize now,” Roman said firmly and just before his little brother could protest, he added “Or else I’m gunna tell mom.”

Marco grumbled a halfhearted apology before quickly returning to their current conversation topic, “So, are you a wizard?”

“Witch!” Jenni corrected.

Virgil chuckled behind his palm, seemingly amused by the commotion of everything. That was good, at least Roman thought so, Virgil was at least laughing and not running for the door. “Uh, I don’t know about wizard, the term is mainly used in European fairy tales mostly. Witches or witchcraft has been around for a much longer time and has many branches and history behind it while wizard is mostly in works of fiction.”

“So, you are a witch?” Jenni said excitedly with a smug side eye look towards her twin.

“Um, I don’t think witch is the politically correct term,” Virgil chuckled and Roman couldn’t help but join him “more then likely I’d be a Shaman or a Wu, a Chinese shaman, but I have absolutely no clue about either of those practices, so…no, sorry.”

Jenni pouted and Roman gasped in mock scandal, “Virgil! How could you crush my little sister’s dreams like that!”

“Hey, what did you want me to say?” Virgil snapped, though he was still smiling “I wasn’t going to lie to her!”

“Wait, there are other types of witches?” Marco pipped up curiously.

“Uh, yeah, kind of,” Virgil shrugged “it’s really more of a craft then a term; witchcraft, magick, shamanism, voodoo, hoodoo, and a lot of others. It varies from country to country but sometimes share certain elements with each other, be it religion or method of practice.”

“Geez, are you sure you’re not a witch?” Roman teased, reaching over to poke Virgil’s cheek.

Virgil rolled his eyes and swatted his hand away, “Yeah, I’m pretty sure?”

“Then how come you know all this stuff?” Roman chuckled.

“Cause it’s interesting,” Virgil replied somewhat defensively “not everyone is obsessed with Disney and musicals.”

“Hey, I didn’t mean it in a bad way,” Roman said, putting his hands up in mock surrender “just that it’s not something people usual find interest in and that’s fine too.”

Virgil huffed, fiddling with the edge of his ever-present beanie, “Yeah, whatever.”

“I think it’s cool!” Jenni pipped up, cheerily.

“Me too!” Marco added just as enthusiastically “Roman’s just lame!”

“Hey.” Roman pouted and received the annoying sound of raspberries as payment from his younger brother. Virgil was laughing again, tension gone from his shoulders once more as he ran a hand under his beanie and through his hair. The flimsy hat slipped off the emo’s head and reviled something truly horrifying. The twins stopped their antics to openly stare and Roman’s eyes got wide in shock.

“What?” Virgil asked, obviously starting to freak out over everyone’s sudden silence and staring.

“Uh,” Roman cleared his throat nervously, carefully choosing his words “I want to preface this by saying I’m NOT trying to be rude or a jerk but…what happened to your hair?”

Finally realizing he was no longer wearing his beanie Virgil freaked, cheeks turning pink as he quickly flipped his hoodie over his head and pulled the strings tight. “N-nothing…”

“Well, it don’t seem like nothing,” Roman responded, waving his arm dramatically before pausing to think “…Is this like a medical thing? Because if it is I’m really-”

“No, n-no, no,” Virgil cut in “it’s just…I-I, um…m-my hand got, uh…stuck.”

Roman nodded slowly before realizing Virgil probably couldn’t see him at the moment, “Okay, and when was this?”

“When we found out, uh…” Virgil paused a moment, most likely thinking up a way to explain what happened without exposing themselves to Jenni and Marco who were still in the room, “…when we formed the club, in the morning, I had an…accident.”

“I see,” Roman sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration “your telling me you had that monstrosity hidden under that tasteless beanie for three whole days? And you didn’t think to, I don’t know, ask your parents to help you fix it or have them take you to a barber?”

“Honestly,” Virgil sighed, sliding down under the coffee table enough so that he could rest his chin on it “I kind of forgot, to busy still freaking out over…the club, then I remembered, then I got embarrassed, then I just decided not to say anything so…yeah.”

How this boy was still alive and functioning in this world Roman will probably never know but that wasn’t important at the moment. What was important was that he let that hideous abomination atop of Virgil’s head enter his house (er, apartment) and Roman would not stand for it. Taking a breath Roman turned to the twins, “Jenni get the clipper bag, Marco get my brushes.”

“Okay.” They replied before scampering off to do as they were told.

“What’s happening?” Virgil asked, eyes wide with worry.

Roman stood up and stretched, “I’m going to fix that absolute sin you call hair. Come and sit in the kitchen, easier to clean the floor.”

Virgil scooted somewhat back, glaring at Roman pointedly, “Uh, thanks but no thanks. I rather not make it worse then what it is.”

Roman scoffed, rolling his eyes, “You’ll be fine Sweeny Toad, my mother used to be a hair dresser so I picked up a few things. Now come on,” He moved a seat from the dining table to the center of the kitchen “sit.”

Jenni and Marco soon returned with the clipper bag and brushes and sat back on the stools behind the counter as if waiting for a show to start. Virgil was still curled up like a feral cat and all that was left was for him to start hissing. Roman rolled his eyes once more, having dealt with bratty children (Read: the twins) before who didn’t want to sit still for their hair cut.

“Trust me,” Roman said “I cut and manage the twins’ hair all the time, you’ll be fine. If there is one thing I know NOT to mess with it’s hair.”

Virgil continued to glare at him and Roman sighed in response, “Come on, it can’t get any worse then what it is now. And if it does,” He raised the scissors in his hands and snipped the air “I’ll let you take a stab at me a payback. What do you say?”

Slowly Virgil uncurls from himself, sliding out from under the coffee table and standing to face them. Roman raised a perfectly arched eyebrow and Virgil raised one back in response, “If you f…mess up my hair I will shave your head off.”

“Fine,” Roman shrugged, not at all startled by the threat “but you’re gunna have to sit in the chair so I can start.”

Virgil glared at him for a few more moments before his shoulders sagged in defeat and he dragged his feet towards the kitchen. Crossing his arms, the emo plopped down in the chair where Roman quickly pulled down his hoodie and grimaced. “Oh, you poor thing, why do you hate your hair so much?”

“Just get it over with.” Virgil grumbled and that was all the consent Roman needed to start trimming.

---

The planetarium was huge, a large dome like ceiling with rows of seats spiraling inwards. The Quinn and Foster brothers took a seat near the center row with Patton and Logan sitting next to each other between everyone. Morgan gave Logan a sly smile and Logan was half tempted to elbow him again if he wasn’t worried about causing his brother possible internal damage from being hit twice at half force by a super human spider. He instead opted to punch his brother’s shoulder as lightly as he could possibly manage though it seemed not to be light enough for Morgan.

“Why must you hurt me?” Morgan whined, rubbing his sore shoulder.

“So, have you ever been to a planetarium show before?” Patton whispered, leaning in close to Logan.

“Uh, yes,” Logan replied, all to grateful for the dim room that covered his burning cheeks “but I have not seen this particular showing. I’ve been to others, much smaller but still just as captivating. Though when it comes to the vast wonders of space even the smallest shows can be an enjoyable experience.”

Patton smiled at him, still just as bright in the dim lighting, “I didn’t know you loved space so much.”

“I, uh,” Logan cleared his throat “I enjoy the subject of it, yes, it’s quite a fascinating topic.”

“If you like it so much then why don’t you join the astronomy club?” Patton asked curiously “One of my friends from culinary club, Valerie, is president of it, I’m sure they’d love a new member. They don’t get a lot of funding from the school because obviously,” Patton scoffed bitterly before perking up again “so they have to do a lot of fundraisers and I sometimes help out. But other than that, I heard it’s a lot of fun, currently they’re raising money to go to the John F. Kennedy Space Center in Florida.”

Logan felt giddy with excitement but he was quick to compose himself, “Uh, that sounds lovely Patton, but I fear that I am far too busy with my studies and other after school activities as it is to even consider joining.”

Patton pouted, much too adorable for his own good and Logan had half a mind to take back everything he said. “Oh, that’s too bad. But hey, if you ever just want to pop in and say hello, I’m sure they’d be delighted to talk to you. I’ll let Valerie know.”

“Thank you, Patton, I appreciate it,” Logan smiled shyly, the lights began to dim even more and a voice from the speakers announce that the program would begin momentarily. He felt Patton tense slightly beside him and instinctively placed his hand over Patton’s closed fist which rested on the arm rest between them. “Don’t worry, the shows about to begin.”

“Mmh.” Patton hummed and he relaxed as they laid back in their seats and watched as the projection of space illuminate the darkness, never once letting go of each other’s hands.

“Way out here, ten million light years from planet Earth, every point of light is a galaxy containing billions of stars…”

Logan gulped thickly as he felt Patton’s hand shift just a bit, splaying out his fingers so that they could gently intertwine with Logan’s. He continued to look up at the ceiling where the universe twinkled and shined before him, a kaleidoscope of technicolor and wonder. The deep charming voice of Neil deGrasse Tyson took them into a journey through the cosmos, exploring the vast reaches of space that now felt so close. But even with the mesmerizing display of stars in front of him Logan could do nothing but revile in the warmth of Patton’s hold. The warm and smooth caress of his delicate finger tips and the pumping pulse beneath his skin that let Logan know that he was alive and full of warmth and sweetness.

“We’re flying through a three-dimensional atlas of millions of galaxies. The gaps are regions we have yet to map. Beyond every galaxy we could ever observe, farthest away in space and furthest back in time, the cosmic background radiation marks the visible edge of our observable universe…”

He chanced a quick peek towards him, just something to settle his nerves and let him know that this was all real. Just as expected Patton was mesmerized by the vast array of stars swirling around and recreating their galaxy. Balls of gas and matter burned together to create planets within and out of their solar system, flashing burst of white and purple and blue and red and yellow. They filled the room with endless color and highlighted the tiny freckles across Patton’s skin which seemed to stand out like the all to familiar stars in the sky.

“The motions of galaxies within each cluster confirm the presence of dark matter. The galaxies orbit too fast to be held together by the gravity of normal matter alone. Remove the dark matter… its lensing stops … and the cluster flies apart.”

“Have you ever been so terrified yet so amazed by something all at the same time?” Patton wondered aloud, voice soft and in awe, still gazing up at their exploding universe.

Logan’s eyes never looked away from him, “Yes, I have.”

“As this time-lapse view of the Milky Way shows, stars explode fairly often—at a rate of about two per century in a galaxy like ours. So, if you observe enough galaxies, you can spot a new supernova every few nights…”

Logan was absolutely in awe with everything about Patton, from his terrible puns to the certain tenderness he kept in his heart. He always saw the best in the world but he was realistic about it all too, but even then, he showed kindness to even the most god-awful people. He was smart and brave in ways people often over looked as being a naïve boy with dumb luck. Patton was far from perfect but he was still incredibly amazing as well as terrifying. He made Logan feel things, many things, he didn’t ever think possible. Sometimes it was too much, sometimes it was not enough, other times it was airy and light but it could also be heavy and make him want to throw up. Logan had been sure he’d get over this infatuation with Patton quickly then return to his life as if it were normal again. But of course, that didn’t happen.

“Clearly there’s more to the universe than meets the eye. The Big Bang happened long ago but not far away. It happened here, there, and everywhere. Peering into the dark, we stand on the threshold of great discoveries—and we always will, as long as we keep exploring.”

The roar of applause and florescent lights softly piercing the darkness quickly snapped Logan out of his daze. The warmth of Patton’s hand slipped out from under him as he too joined the audience in their up roar and all Logan could do was copy numbly. This was all very draining and headache inducing, way too many emotions for one day. All Logan wanted to do was go home and sleep.

“That was so cool!” Patton squealed, excitedly jumping up and down “I always thought this kind of stuff would be boring or too hard for me to understand but it was really fascinating. No wonder you like space so much!”

“Yes, well,” Logan said, adjusting his glasses “the wonders of space are vast and endless so there is much to learn.”

“And yet, we’ve only explored 5% of the ocean,” Alex pipped up as he scanned over a pamphlet “I mean not that this isn’t amazing and all but isn’t it a bit concerning that we barely know anything about what covers most of our planet yet know so much about what’s outside it?”

“If it’s oceanic life you’re looking for they have an environmental exhibit here on display,” Morgan said, checking over their own map “right across from us after the American mammals.”

“Oh, you can read this map?” Alex said, turning over his pamphlet every which way “Thank god because I have no idea what I’m doing. I honestly got lost earlier and met that cute front desk lady by mistake.”

“I want to see the birds,” Georgie announced lowly.

“Ah, that’s on the second floor next to the African culture hall,” Morgan said helpfully “anything else?”

Logan sighed tiredly as Alex jumped at the opportunity, “Yeah, yeah, we should go see that, uh, dinosaur exhibit, I wanted to see that t-rex mother fucker.”

“That’s on the third floor,” Morgan said as he flipped through the map “right next to-”

“Guys,” Patton gently interrupted “they probably have their own plans for the evening. We don’t need to force them to be tour guides for us, we can find our own way around.”

“Aw, come on Pat,” Alex whined “we already got them here, might as well take advantage of those big brains of theirs. Could use a bit of relaxing from solving all the worlds problems by taking us shmucks on a tour. They already know how to use a map!”

Another quick smack across the head from Georgie had him shutting up, “Patton’s right, we should leave them alone.”

“Well, I don’t really mind,” Morgan admitted and Logan was now fully considering throwing caution to the wind and elbowing him again “what about you Lo?”

Just when Logan was about to shut down the idea and demand to go home Patton spoke up, big brown eyes on full display. Oh no. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Lo. I’m sure we can find our way around no problem.”

“He lies!” Alex stage whispered, receiving another smack from Georgie.

Honestly, how was Logan going to ever say no to those eyes? Swallowing thickly Logan quietly murmured, “Is…there a particular exhibit you’re interested in, Patton?”

Patton’s smile was shy yet still beautiful and radiant, “Are you sure?”

Logan could only nod, much to afraid of his own voice.

“I…I would actually like to look at some of the environmental exhibits,” Patton admitted bashfully “anything with plants and flowers really.”

“That be right next to the oceanic exhibit,” Morgan announced “we can look through everything here on the first floor if you want before heading on up?”

“Sounds like a plan!” Alex exclaimed as he marched forward “Onwards troops!”

Georgie and Morgan trailed close behind with Logan in the back with Patton who rolled his eyes before shrugging and smiling tiredly, “I’m sorry in advance for whatever he does.”

“As am I with my own brother.” Logan chuckled as they made their way out of the planetarium, side by side and close enough that their swinging hands casually brushed against each other every once and a while.

---

“Aren’t you supposed to be working?” Thomas asked worriedly. As promised MJ had given Thomas a drink with the works on the house before leading him towards a table near the back where MJ then proceeded to sit down with him. MJ untied his apron and threw it behind his seat before untucking his shirt and ruffling his already messy red hair. They danced like flames of ember and framed his freckled face perfectly.

“Uh, I don’t think there’s much work to do,” MJ chuckled, gesturing to the nearly empty coffee shop “unless you have somewhere important to me and want me to get out of your hair.”

“N-no, no,” Thomas stuttered “not for a while at least but I just don’t want you to get in trouble.”

“I’ll be fine,” MJ smirked, chin in hand as he leaned forward “I want to get to know my unconventional savior a bit more.”

Thomas was sure he’d permanently gone red, was flirting just how this guy spoke all the time? Thomas’s heart was not prepared for such onslaught of complements, “I’m not much to know.”

“There’s always much to know,” MJ laughed “especially with two strangers. But that’s usually easy because we’re both blank canvasses to each other so we just got to start painting.”

Thomas hesitated for a moment, “Do you work here often?”

Nice going loser…

MJ laughed again, beautiful and bell like, “Just temporary for the moment, I’m studying to be a nurse actually.”

“Oh, really,” Thomas said, actually kind of surprised that a guy who constantly puts himself in harms way would become someone that stiches up those kind of people “do you enjoy it?”

“Yeah,” MJ shrugged “it’s hard work but I like helping people. Plus, I don’t need to worry about going to the hospital every time I get into a scrap, I’ll be able to mend myself.”

Thomas huffed out an airy laugh, “I think you should be avoiding fight, you know?”

“Oh, I do,” MJ assured with a smirk “it’s just they can’t seem to avoid me. But lady luck must be on my side because she practically granted me a guardian angel. Well, guardian…spider? I don’t really know honestly.”

Thomas willed his cheeks to not flush more crimson as he asked, “Why do you think that?”

“You’re not gunna believe this but,” MJ rubbed the back of his neck nervously “I’ve kind of been saved by Rainbow Weaver a bit too many times. Poor guy, I must make his job a living hell if he has to keep dealing with me twice a week.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t mind,” Thomas said, casually sipping his drink “I mean, he is a hero so it’s his job to look out for people. I’m sure you’re fine and not a bother at all.”

MJ raised a suspicious eyebrow before smiling wide, “And how would you know that? Have you met him or something?”

“Maybe once or…twice,” Thomas fibbed “he’s a pretty chill dude so I assume he wouldn’t mind much.”

“Really?” MJ chuckled then took a deep sigh “Still, I really do tend to get into a lot of trouble.”

Yeah, no shit! Thomas added in his brain but smiled sympathetically on the outside, “I kind of get what you mean, I…admittingly, have a tendency to run into danger myself sometimes.”

“I can see that,” MJ teased “Mr. I-can-disarm-a-gun-single-handedly!”

He smiled sheepishly, hiding behind the rim of his coffee cup, “To be honest, a friend of mine showed me that move so I really can’t take all the credit.”

MJ pouted, cute and dramatic, “Are you denying my praise and admiration? How dare you, sir! I gave you free coffee and I only ever do that to big shot heroes!” A sly wink followed soon after “And good looking guys, both help, really.”

Thomas choked on his coffee, pounding his chest to bring back air into his lungs. Meanwhile, MJ giggled in delight at the sight of Thomas is misery and embarrassment, although he did lean forward to pat Thomas’s back. Once semi functioning MJ giggled again, leaning down to meet Thomas at eye level and the greying man had to control himself so that he wouldn’t go into another coughing fit. Steel blue eyes sparkled in amusement, “A bit too much?”

Thomas cleared his throat, “Maybe a little…sorry, I’ve, uh, never been…well, I haven’t been…”

“Flirted with?” MJ finished with a giggle “I find that very hard to believe.”

Thomas shrugged, “I-I mean, at least not with a really cute guy that apparently need to get saved twice a week.”

Now it was MJ’s turn to blush, freckles on full display like little constellations in the night sky. A goofy smile spreading across the red head’s face as he bit his bottom lip, “Maybe I need somebody to watch my back. Rainbow Weaver can’t be there all the time.”

“What makes you think I’m even qualified for the job?” Thomas asked with a shy shrug.

“Because you’re sweet,” MJ smiled “and you were willing to risk your life for a stranger.”

“I mean, I did get free coffee out of it,” Thomas smirked causing MJ to snort “plus, we’re hardly strangers, I know your name now and you know mine. And I also know that you’re studying to be a nurse! I’m pretty sure a stranger wouldn’t know that.”

“No, he wouldn’t, you’re right we’re practically lifelong friends,” MJ laughed, turning back to his apron at the back of his seat and digging through the pockets. He pulled out a black sharpie and took Thomas’s coffee cup to scribble over. “So, with that being established I think it is appropriate now for you…to have my number? And maybe…I could have yours?”

Thomas could only squeak out a wheezing, “Sure.”

---

“There, all done.” Roman put down the scissors on the counter and unwrapped the plastic wrap from around Virgil’s body. He dusted it off and proceeded to fold it as he circled around Virgil with a critical eye.

Virgil was been tense the entire time Roman was cutting his hair, he didn’t want to move even a centimeter for the fear Roman may actually fuck up. Jenni and Marco kept up casual conversation to keep him distracted, continuing to ask him about witches and what he knew about them. The were nice kids, definitely had Roman’s big personality, but still very sweet plus, they knew how to get under Roman’s skin and Virgil respected that. Then it was over and all of Virgil’s previous worries came flooding back all at once.

“How bad did you mess it up?” Virgil asked worriedly.

Roman scoffed, handing him a hand mirror before going off to sweep the kitchen, “Honestly, have a little more confidence in me.”

Virgil tentatively peered into the mirror to see what irreversible horrors awaited him. To his surprise it was actually a really nice cut, the left side was cut short in a smooth gradient sort of way while the right side was left longer and framed itself around his eye. It was a bit messy but Virgil guessed it was supposed to be that way, keeping to his aesthetic and all, but overall, he actually really liked it.

Virgil looked back up to give Roman his thanks and apologize for ripping on him earlier but froze to find that Roman was staring at him and frowning. Jesus, was he really that upset about Virgil not believing he could cut hair? “Uh, I actually kind of dig it so don’t worry about-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know that you like it,” Roman waved him off, leaning up against the counter as he continued to glare at him “I am amazing after all. It’s just now that I look at you I’m kind of pissed.”

“I’m sorry.” Virgil apologized, though for what he didn’t know.

“I like his hair cut!” Marco announced.

“Me too!” Jenni added “He looks cute!”

Virgil flushed red and Roman finally burst, “That’s the problem! I was honestly vouching for him to look at least semi-decent but he actually pulls off this look!”

“W-what?” Virgil squeaked.

What was happening? What was going on? Roman was complementing him but was also pissed at him. That is a very weird combination of emotions to be had as well as to receive.

“You look cute,” Roman stated plainly and narrowed his eyes “and I hate you because of it.”

“Why?” Virgil was starting to get a bit frustrated because he’s pretty sure all the blood in his body has redirected itself to his face. Also, what the hell was Roman’s deal?

“Because you’re an emo nightmare and you’re not supposed to be cute!” Roman replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Well, excuse me!” Virgil snapped.

“No, you shall not be excused because how dare you!” Roman exclaimed dramatically “How dare you have the audacity to be cute so flawlessly while the rest of us have to work for it every day!”

Virgil groaned, throwing his hands up in frustration, “What is wrong with you?”

“A lot of things really.” The twins said at the same time and if Virgil weren’t so thoroughly frustrated at the moment, he might have thought it was creepy.

“Zip it, Fred and George!” Roman snarked and was responded with two sets of loud raspberries.

Virgil ran a hand through his newly cut hair and sighed deeply, “Look, thank for the haircut, sorry you hate it, I’m gunna leave now.”

He began to make his way towards the living room but Roman was quick to catch his arm, “Wait, we aren’t finished with our essay.”

“It’s good enough,” Virgil snapped, taking his arm back “plus, I don’t very much want to sit here and be insulted for my hair, which by the way you cut.”

“I don’t hate your hair Virgil,” Roman replied with a laugh “I’m saying that you’re cute and that I’m frustrated about it because you put zero effort into it. Meanwhile, yours truly has to moisturize every night, put product in my hair, and still do my make-up to at least look decent for the day!”

Virgil glared at Roman, he had no idea what to make of this boy. One minute he’s insulting him then he’s complementing him, he’s nice then he’s a jerk and the cycle continues. Virgil doesn’t get him or how he functions! Roman was so frustrating and flipped flopped emotions so quick Virgil’s head was dizzy. Contrary to popular beliefs Virgil was just as bad at social cues as Logan was so he had no clue how to tell when Roman was joking or not!

Finally, Virgil said, “That’s stupid!”

“Ooo, you said a bad word!” The twins cried.

“Silence demons!” Virgil snarked and the little monsters straight up hissed at him “Like I was saying, that’s stupid! Why the hell are you even worried about that? I’m not even…I’m not…”

Virgil couldn’t even finish the statement it was so ridiculous. He wasn’t cute damn it! Roman was just being weird and dramatic like always! He just wanted to see Virgil flustered and embarrassed, well, that’s not going to happen! Virgil refused to be made a fool of again!

“You’re cute! Admit it!” Roman smirked, because he’s a stubborn jerk who won’t admit he’s wrong.

“I am not!” Virgil groaned, arms crossed and no, he was not pouting! “You’re just an idiot!”

“You’re basically a tiny kitten,” Roman snickered “at first glance people might mistake you for this great big jungle cat-”

“Because it’s true!” Virgil stomped.

“But really you’re just an adorable little kitty cat.” Roman laughed, easily dodging Virgil’s attempt to punch him. Virgil then proceeded to chase Roman around the apartment while the theatrical teen laughed and continued to dodge his attacks. All the while the twins chanted, “Virgil is a kitty! Virgil is a kitty!”

“I am not!”

---

Overall, Patton was glad Logan and his brother was able to say with them a bit longer, they were pretty great tour guides, Logan especially though maybe Patton was a bit biased. Morgan mainly hung around Georgie and Alex, answering all their questions and helping defuse Alex’s plans on climbing up on one of the dinosaur’s displays. Meanwhile, Logan and Patton were practically left to their own devices, which Patton was perfectly fine with, Logan knew a lot of neat stuff and provided insightful in formation on every exhibit. It would have been perfect if Alex didn’t keep giving him suggestive winks plus and enthusiastic thumbs up though Patton is about 85% sure he saw Morgan do the same thing earlier.

He flushed red at the thought of it, was his crush on Logan really that obvious? Did they see him and Logan holding hands during the planetarium show? Patton was going to let go, he swears, it’s just Logan’s hand felt so nice and warm immensely calming Patton’s nerves when everything suddenly got dark. So, he just kind of left it there, Logan didn’t seem to notice or at least Patton thinks he didn’t. Patton was focusing too hard on watching the show and acting as casual as possible.

It was dark in there so Patton didn’t worry about anyone seeing his flushed face but that was now not the case for the rest of the museum. Thankfully, Logan was too enraptured by all the museum’s exhibits to fully pay attention to Patton’s constantly blushing face. Patton had to repress a dreamy sigh threatening to escape him as he watched Logan ramble on and on about animals from the Cretaceous period, he really did look best when talking about the things he was passionate about.

Okay, so like maybe, this all kind of, sort of looked like a date? If you could count a date involving your two older brothers and your crush is brother babbling in front of them as he and Logan trail behind. It was like a very chaperoned date…in Patton’s head at least. It was silly to think off it like that, he knew, but the whole atmosphere of the evening left Patton feeling all fluttery and excited. Even if it wasn’t just the two of them Patton still felt this sort of intimacy between them and, maybe, the sense that Logan might like him back.

Patton didn’t know how much control he had over these empathetic powers of his, Joan and Talyn had turned them off after that whole experiment thing, saying how they were supposed to grow and come in naturally. But aside from that when he and Logan were holding hands during the planetarium show Patton swore he felt tiny slivers of something warm and familiar. Little sparks of pleasure he knew he felt before every time their hands brush. But he really couldn’t be sure so Patton continued to smile and accidently bump against Logan’s shoulder as they walked through the entire museum and into the gift shop.

As usually the elder brothers left the youngers to their own devices more then likely to stop Alex from flirting with the cashier lady. There were many interesting educational toys and items such as candy rock making kits, puzzles, fossil digging cubes, layered mineral rocks, arrow heads and an assortment of other items. Of course, Patton went straight towards the large bins filled with plushies, with Logan not far behind.

“Why is there a monkey in a space suit?” Patton asked, picking up the soft plush toy from one of the large square bins.

“Before sending human up into space they sent animals,” Logan explained “mainly monkeys and apes since they closely resemble our genealogy.”

There were lots of other plushies in the bin such as dinosaurs, birds, and other animals as well as plants, rocks, ships, and planets with cute little faces on them. Patton grabbed a tiny smiling blue ball with specks of white and brought it up to eye level. “I’m guessing this little guy is Pluto, I’m surprise that he’s even here.”

“Well, some people still consider it a planet,” Logan said in a sort of adorably huffy manner before bashfully shrugging “or maybe it’s left over from previous stock long ago.”

Patton giggled, “And where do you stand on the Pluto debate?”

Logan adjusted his glasses critically, “Calling it a dwarf planet is just saying it’s a planet but smaller then average. It has its own moon as well as the other necessities to be a planet but just because of its size it is diminished to dwarf planet.”

“Wow, you have a lot to say on the matter,” Patton smirked delighted by the endearing flush that painted Logan’s cheeks. He reached to pick up another plushie, this one a robot of sorts, “What’s this?”

“That’s the Opportunity rover,” Logan pipped up quickly “Oppy, as some people have nicked named her, she was sent to scan and observe the surface of Mars. She was accompanied by her twin Sprit but he unfortunately got stuck in a sand trap and has cease function. She was only supposed to function for 90 days but excided that by 14 years and 46 days.” Logan frowned a bit, a glimmer of sadness in his eye before he quickly shook it off, “Soon, after in 2012 they sent the Curiosity rover and as of now it is the only one still active out of the three of them.”

“Aw, does that mean he’s up there all by himself now?” Patton said mournfully, holding the little robotic plushie close to his chest.

“Unfortunately, so,” Logan responded blankly “but even so, we will surely have Curiosity functioning for a number of years more. So, we’ll still have plenty of more time to explore the surface of Mars before we inevitably launch there ourselves.”

“But he’ll still be all alone for years and years,” Patton pouted “that can’t be a pleasant experience even for a robot. Just being all on your own on a seemingly lifeless planet with nobody there to talk to you or comfort you when your sad.”

Logan gave a half smirk, amusement glittering in his eyes, “I’m sure he’ll be fine, he can still communicate back and forth with mission control here on Earth. So, it’s kind of like always having someone on call with a one-way video face time.”

“That is a little better,” Patton hummed thoughtfully “but still, the thought of being completely alone in the vastness of space…kind of freaks me out.”

“Well, thankfully you’re not alone,” Logan said warmly, his smirk now stretching into a shy yet honest smile “you’re here on Earth with very many people who care about you.”

Patton flushed pink but smiled back none the less, “Yeah, I guess so.”

They all finished making their purchases before making their way towards the exit. The crowed had thinned out immensely as evening dwindled into night and what people remained were slowly but surely making their way out. Once again the elders tailed up front talking away while Logan and Patton lingered behind discussing the concept of human awareness and if one day robots will be able to gain this awareness.

“Like, I’m not saying a robot uprising in the sense that they’ll enslave and kill us,” Patton explained, hands gesturing wildly “but something similar to protests and political campaigns that fought for equal rights. If they’re beings of intellect then they’ll know that violence will get them nowhere and hurt their cause more then help it.”

“Wow, you have a lot to say on the matter.” Logan teased.

Patton shrugged shyly, rubbing the back of his neck, “I just…think sci-fi has demonized the why humans will react to other species coming into contact with us. I mean, we aren’t complete monsters and usually the species we’ll ‘supposedly’ interact with aren’t either.”

“Hmm, you do have a point,” Logan nodded “though honestly if they do end up attacking us, I’m pretty sure we deserved it one way or another.”

Patton snorted, “Probably.”

It happened quickly, a buzzing at the back of his head and a burst of color flashing over his eyes. A voice in his head told him to hold down the back of his skirt and side step forward quickly, so that’s just what he did. When Patton turned around to look, he saw a man on his knees with his arm twisted around behind him by a very furious looking Logan.

“Fuck, let go!” The man wheezed out, another man nearby jogged towards them “Jesus, man lay off!”

Logan payed no mind to what they said, only looked to the man on his knees as he seemed to put more pressure on his arm and lowly asked, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“I didn’t do nothing!” The man whined, trying and failing to get out of Logan’s solid hold “Get off me you freak!”

“Fuck off dude!” The man’s friend replied, taking half a step forward before freezing under Logan’s glare. “Clearly, he is lying. Because from what I gathered by the precarious position I caught him in was that he was about to pull up my friend’s skirt.”

“I said I didn’t do anything!” The man cried.

“No, but you were going to.” Logan growled, seeming to increase the pressure on the man’s arm.

Patton heard a commotion behind him and turned to find his brothers and Morgan racing back towards them with a security guard hot on their tale. They seemed to be trying to out run the security man and were quick to circle around them as if to block out anymore preying eyes.

“Logan, let him go!” Morgan whispered harshly and, almost reluctantly, Logan complied, the man dropping to the floor clutching his arm. The man’s friend rushed to help him to his feet while Logan still stood by, arms crossed and glaring daggers.

“What the hell is going on?” Georgie demanded.

“That’s what I would like to know.” The security guard pipped up from behind them. Immediately, the man points an accusing finger at Logan, “Officer, this man physically assaulted me!”

“Falsehood!” Logan snapped.

“You were going to pull up my skirt!” Patton shrieked, finally able to find his voice again. He was not going to get Logan in trouble again on his behalf.

“I didn’t fucking do anything, you stupid fag!” The man snapped.

“The fuck did you say!” Alex growled, surging forward to grab the man by the front of his shirt. Had he not Patton was sure Logan and Georgie were close to do so as well.

Patton felt a pit in his stomach, everything was turning into chaos all because of him, again. Why couldn’t he say anything? Why couldn’t he do anything? Why did he have to be such a big baby and cause trouble? How ironic for someone training to be a hero to always get put into situations like this yet isn’t able to save himself. How pathetic.

“Hey, hey, settle!” The security guard commanded, quickly getting in between both men “Now, what I see here is we got two options. One: someone can fess up and give me the real story or two: we can check the security camera, it wouldn’t take too long.”

At the mention of cameras, the two men paled and Logan smirked, the security guard looked tired and seemed to want to be anywhere but here. “If what the young man said was true then you two were the ones committing assault and this other young man here was merely acting in self-defense for his companion.”

“He almost broke my arm!” The main fiend complained.

“I didn’t even do anything!” The other barked, pointing a few feet away “I was standing over there!”

“You were more than likely an accomplice and bared witness to the crime without bothering to interfere,” Morgan quipped, speaking up after his long time silent observation, a calculated look in his eyes “I’ll bet if we look at the camera footage we’ll be able to see you two conspiring together to humiliate my friend like some god damn children before playing rock, paper, scissors or double dog daring one another to go do it. Am I hitting the ball park here? And while I’m at it I’ve been looking through your guys is records and this isn’t your first offence.”

Stepping forward like some sort of professional high security secretary, Morgan pulled up his phone for all to see. There, side by side, were photos of the two men along with their names, contacts, and crimes they’ve been charged for. Patton was pretty sure the two men were nearing the process of passing out their faces were so pale, while Morgan seemed to mimic Logan’s smirk.

“Drunken violence, public indecency, property damage on multiple charges, as well as, surprise, surprise, physical and sexual assault,” Morgan listed off as he continued to scroll through his phone “My, my, you boys have been busy. Now with all of these charges in mind please, pray tell, what were you two thinking when you decided to pull up an under-age boy’s skirt in a high security museum? Or are you that stupid?”

They spat and sputtered but to no avail, not only was one of them caught red handed they had the odds stacked against them. Morgan provided no form of mercy, “Yeah, that’s what I thought, not to worry the police should be here any-” The front entrance was open and four officers came running in “Oh, there they are.”

The men tried in vain to run but the police were able to easily tackle them down while the security guard ushered them all to the side, more then likely waiting to be questioned. Patton felt a bit numb, not really sure if what happened was real or not, there was a lot of energy and emotions in the air and it all gave him a headache. Warm fingers tangled between his and Patton was suddenly brought back to the ground and looking into Logan’s dark eyes.

“Are you okay?” Logan asked, brow frowned in worry.

Patton nodded slowly, “Yeah, thanks.”

“Dude, how were you able to do that? With like the phone and the records and the police and stuff?” Alex exclaimed gesturing to the men being led away in cuffs. Morgan winked mischievously, “Ah, a true computer genius hacker never gives away his secrets…er, phone computer genius hacker? Uh, basically a long story short I did a thing that I will explain to you later because it is, ahem, semi-illegal.”

They all side eyed the security guard who merely shook his head and shrugged. Another officer came by a few minutes later relieving the poor security guard of his duties so as to ask questions. They were all pretty standard: what happened? Why did it happen? Do you want to press charges? Everybody jumped to say yes but honestly Patton didn’t want to deal with anything anymore, he just wanted to go home. Morgan, ever the mystery man genius, said he would willingly handle all the legal stuff so that Patton didn’t have to do anything but sign a few papers, saying how he had a friend who he graduated with who works in the criminal justice system. Usually, Patton didn’t like to bother people and he was trying this whole new thing about fighting for himself but he really, really did not want to deal with complex legal stuff. He also did not want to stress out his family more then they probably already were going to be then he needed too. So, he and his brothers graciously accepted his help.

“You know young man,” The officer said in that adult tone of voice used to scold children “maybe you shouldn’t be wearing a skirt out in public? Would give you an easier time and call much less attention to yourself.”

Okay, so Patton has moved on from tired and pitiful to kind of pissed off, “Excuse me?”

“I’m just saying,” The officer said gently, as if it would make this situation any better “if you were to wear more proper clothes, you’d have less trouble and this situation probably would not have happened.”

He felt Logan’s fingers curl tightly against his, body tensed and ready to jump to Patton’s defense and rescue one more. But Patton was getting really tired of having to be rescued all the time, not that he didn’t appreciated it especially from Logan, but her was getting quite fed up with everything right about now.

“Well, it shouldn’t have happened at all!” Patton said firmly, not really shouting but voice still loud and clear “Regardless of how I dress or how anyone dresses nobody should ever be treated like this! Instead of telling me how I should dress ‘properly’ maybe you should start doing your job and telling people it’s not okay to harass someone just because they’re different or dress a certain way or act a certain way or whatever?”

The officer frowned disapprovingly, like a teacher towards a failing student, but he was no teacher he was an idiot. “Sir, I’m merely suggesting a-”

“I don’t want your suggestions!” Patton snapped “I want to live my life just like everybody else in the world without being bullied or harassed or called names or being shamed just because I’m alive!”

Stunned silence filled the room and Patton just knew that all eyes were on him, surprised and in awe that sweet little Patton would snap at an authority figure. It all would have been quite overwhelming for him if he didn’t have Logan’s fingers intertwined with his and his steady stream of fire and calmness filling his senses. A weird mix of feelings but useful in helping ground Patton and not have him blow up completely. He chanced a quick peek at Logan from the side of his eye and saw a wide and seemingly proud smile stretched across his face.

“I think we’re done here,” Georgie announced, leaving no room for argument “there seems to not be anymore questions you guys need so we’ll just leave.”

“We’ll be in contact, I assure you?” Morgan added as he ushered everyone towards the front exit.

“Our people will call your people.” Alex winked, throwing finger guns at the officer.

They quickly made it to the parking area where they exchanged pleasantries and goodnights before having to part. Georgie and Alex thanked Morgan and Logan immensely for their help, Morgan for handling all the legal stuff and calling the police and Logan for being there to stop the creep. Both Quinn brothers seemed to flush red at the complements and praise, assuring it wasn’t that big of a deal and that they were happy to help. But just before they could part ways Logan thrusted his gift bag towards Patton.

“I, um, thought you might like it,” Logan murmured, avoiding eye contact “I was going to give it to you earlier but, uh, that…happened.”

Patton smiled, happily accepting it before handing over his own gift bag to Logan, “I got you something too.”

“Oh, y-you didn’t – I mean, thank you.” Logan reached for the bag and Patton, once again, did something very bold. He firmly took Logan’s hand, pulled him forward, and gently kissed his cheek.

Patton was quick to pull back, face flushed pink but still smiling, “Thanks for saving me again, you seem to be having to do that a lot.”

Logan was silent for a moment, eyes wide and a careful hand placed over the cheek Patton just kissed. He quickly shook out of his daze, “I-it’s no problem…I’ll always be there if you need me. That is what friends do, correct?”

“Yeah,” Patton giggled “and I’ll be there if you ever need me too, okay?”

Logan nodded vigorously, “Affirmative.”

There was a car honk behind them and Alex is annoying voice yelling across the parking lot, “Come on lover boy, Ma want’s us home soon!”

There was an audible smack and a whiny “ow!” soon thereafter. Patton sighed and smiled apologetically towards Logan before dropping his hand and slowly walking backwards. “I gotta go, see you at school?”

“Uh, yeah, see you.” Logan replied, awkwardly waving his hand.

Patton couldn’t help but giggle and wave back before turning to rush towards the car. Alex booked it out of the parking lot, all the while teasing Patton about his little moment with Logan. But Patton wasn’t really paying attention, instead he was curiously looking inside the bag Logan gave him and found a robotic plushie. At first Patton had assumed it to be Oppy but the design was different so he looked at the tag attached to it and saw that it said Curiosity with a bit of scribbled handwriting at the bottom.

Surely, he will not feel as lonely now that he’s with you. -L.Q.

Patton bit down on his lip to hold back a squeal threatening to burst out of him as he hugged the little robot close to his heart.

---

Virgil left an hour before his mother and sister were due home and the twins whined the whole while not wanting him to leave. They had both latched on to Virgil’s legs and it took Roman an embarrassingly long time to pry them off, with Virgil teasing him the whole time. He left soon after and Roman sat the twins down and scolded them for their behavior, such actions might have been fine with Patton but Virgil was different, especially when it came to physical touch. Although, it didn’t seem like he had minded Roman told the twins if ever he came back that they should ask before engaging in any physical contact.

They seemed to understand well enough and that was all Roman needed before he was ushering them to take a shower and change for bed. Obviously, it didn’t go that easy without a bit of fighting so by the time his mother and sister got back home the twins were freshly bathed, wrestled into their pajamas, and Roman was currently combing his Jenni’s hair while Marco played with his cars.

“Como te fue? ¿Se comportaron los niños?” His mother asked, peeking into the room with Leslie right behind her. They looked tired, hair a mess and dark circles around their eyes.

“It went fine,” Roman replied, finishing Jenni’s hair and tying it off in a simple braid “the twins were fine and we were able to finish everything.”

“Aye, que bien.” She replied.

“Roman’s got a boyfriend!” Jenni announced loudly “And he’s totally a secret witch even though he says he isn’t! But I know!”

Roman squeaked as he pulled his little sister to his chest and clapped a hand over her mouth, “You shush! Time for bed!”

“¡Romano tiene novio! ¡Romano tiene novio!” Marco chanted as he began to jump up and down on his bed.

“Shut it, you little demon!” Roman growled, face aflame.

“Marco no jumping on the bed,” Leslie scolded before a sly smirk crossed her face “and Roman, why didn’t you tell us it was your boyfriend coming over? We could of sent the twins off to their friends how so you two could have some alone time.”

“It’s not like that at all!” Roman shrieked “W-we’re just friend who made a club together, that’s all!”

“Ay, pero Romano, ¿por qué no lo invitaste a cenar para que podemos conocerlo adecuadamente? Quiero asegurarme de que va a ser bueno para mi pequeño príncipe.” His mother giggled along with the rest of his family and Roman really wished the floor would open up and swallow him whole.

---

Thomas on a roof of a shop near a familiar alley way in full Rainbow Weaver gear. He had just finished making a full sweep around the city an hour ago and decided to take a quick brake before doing another one. He quietly observed the familiar little café across the street and the familiar red head wiping down the tables one last time.

Thomas had stayed to talk to MJ a while more before an influx of customers suddenly made there way in for a late after work coffee run. MJ now suddenly had plenty of work to do and Thomas suddenly remembered that he had a city to be patrolling. They reluctantly parted ways, Thomas sputtering like a fool while MJ was as charming and as cool as ever. He was lucky that he packed a bag with him and stuck his Rainbow Weaver gear onto a nearby building or else he’d have to be fumbling back home and explain to Joan and Talyn why he hadn’t been patrolling the city for two whole hours. He wasn’t ready for the teasing sure to come when they eventually find out that he had been distracted by a cute boy who worked in a coffee shop and that he saves twice a week.

Speaking of, said cute boy was walking out of the coffee shop now, smiling down at his phone as he typed away at something or another. Thomas suddenly felt his own phone vibrate in his pocket and he was quick to pull it out and see a new texts message.

MJ<3: i think i’ll take a different route home today ;-)

Thomas looked back up to watch and sure enough instead of crossing the street MJ turned right towards a much safer part of town. Thomas couldn’t help feel a bit bummed out that he wouldn’t be able to have another possible interaction with MJ again tonight but he was much more happy that MJ took his advice to a safer path home.

Thomas: Good choice! Get home safely :)

MJ<3: Sure thing tiger! <3

---

Virgil had stomped all the way home grumbling to himself. Stupid Roman and his demon siblings kept teasing him the whole time he was there, though admittingly it was kind of fun. Especially since the twins were always willing to turn head on their older brother real fast. They eventually finished the essay and just kind of spent the whole evening bickering and answering Jenni’s curious questions about witches until Virgil had to go back home. He was surprised when they both latched on to his legs and begged him not to leave but soon became amused as he watched Roman struggle to pull them off.

Despite Roman’s entire personality in general he was a good brother and a good person at heart. He just tends to rub people the wrong way (mainly Virgil) sometimes, he was loud and brash, and spoke before he thought. But he wasn’t out right awful, nor was he terrible to be around just very, very annoying. Virgil still didn’t know what to make of Roman and their weird teasing back and forth but he could for sure say that it was…good. For now, at least.

His parents questioned him about the hair cut as soon as he got home and he truthfully told them what happened, not wanting to lie to them if he didn’t have to. They really didn’t mind and actually liked the hair but told him that he really should call them next time and ask for permission before letting his friend cut his hair.

He quickly promised and tiredly slipped in to his room where he was greeted by an excited JD, as always. After feeding and placing fresh water in his tank Virgil kicked off his shoes and proceeded to flop into bed, fully prepared to just sleep. Then his phone pinged!

Idiot: u will now be happy to know that I have now changed ur contact name to Nyan Cat!

Nyan Cat: fuck you!

Idiot: mmh not now maybe later ;-P

Virgil cheeks flushed red, growling as he began to furiously type back a reply. He took back every nice thing he said about the moron, he was the worst!

---

Morgan and Logan of course had to inform their parents about the situation that happened on their evening out. They weren’t freaking out as much as the late time Logan got in trouble but they were still worried none the less. They scolded Logan for his rush into violence but also commended him for protecting his friend from danger. For some reason Morgan did not mention to them about his part in the whole fiasco but instead gave them a vague summery of what went down. He was kind of glad for that, not that Morgan didn’t deserve credit, because he really did work wonders today, but Logan did not want to go another round of compare and contrast between him and his brother.

Logan sluggishly made his way into his room, completely drained from the whole outing. From the walking to the socializing and large crowed of the museum Logan was both physically and mentally drained. But as he looked down at the gift bag still in his hand and the warmth that blossomed in his chest, he couldn’t help but think it wasn’t too bad. A few minor complications but overall the part before the incident and after were pretty great. His cheeks were warm as he ran a finger over the spot where Patton had kissed him and he couldn’t help but let out a dreamy sigh.

Curiosity finally got the better of him and Logan quickly reached into the bag and pulled out a familiar soft round ball, pale blue with white specks and a cute smiling face. He smiled to himself before noticing the neat loopy hand writing on the end of the tag.

Viva la Pluto! <3

Logan was sure that he had a big goofy smile spread across his face by now and was so glad that he was alone in his room. Though he was soon snapped out of his warm and fuzzy day dream by the ping and vibration of his phone. He quickly fished it out of his pocket honestly expecting it to Virgil ready to complain about the god-awful time he had over at Roman’s place but was pleasantly surprised to find that it was Patton.

Patton: the moon is smiling tonight! :)

Logan peeked out his window and sure enough was in its waxing crescent formation which edged near the bottom, looking like a giant smile in the night sky. Logan chuckled softly to himself as he quickly typed out a reply.

Lolo: So, it is.

Tags: (sorry if it doesn’t work, Tumblr is stupid)

@immortaldystopia @metaphoricalpluto2  @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @misunderstood-shadow @fairytailtwists @0callmevirge0 @blenderkit17 @galaxy-lilies-main @lumi-1 @paint-in-flames @i-have-n0-idea-what-im-d0ing @superwholocked-for-life @generalfandomfabulousness  @oakskull@scarletnoiryt @softnic @asiagotea3890 @enteryourfandomhere @saltwithrandomfandoms @ninjago2020 @average-human @hecksupremeart @teepee-honesty @perfectly-precautiously-gay @a-weirdo-with-a-computer@itsashtronomy @khadij-al-kubra @maryjanewolf @icequeenoriginal  @ocs-and-chapters @lilyfond @palepanfandomtrash @always-in-a-fandom @boxofsushi @hellomusicalnerdhere

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logicality #prinxiety #spiderverse au #spiderverse #tw assualt #tw harassment #tw homophobic slur #tw homophobia #tobashiarg!

[shadow-djinni]

Generalizations in Fandom

Or, some idiot on my dash made an underinformed comment about shipping trends and now I have to go prove them wrong.

I’m a day late with my griping, but much better-researched for it, which means this post (under the cut) is going to be even longer now.  Apologies in advance.  If you’d like to read my exceedingly long-winded griping, hit the readmore button.

A quick preface–and some background–to my complaining, which will be important going forward.  Though I’m by no means a fandom old, nor am I claiming that status, I’ve been in and around fandom for over eight years now, and have been an active content creator for seven and a half.  In that timeframe, I’ve been in and out of a wide range of fandoms, all with different fannish climates and behaviors, so I like to think I have a fair bit of experience in these spaces.

So, yesterday, a blog I had been following–which, up until this point, had expressed views on fandom I generally agreed with–made a post complaining about the proliferation of slash fic in fandom.  I’m not going to link the post or @ the blogger in question, mostly because I have no intentions of picking a fight with said blogger or with their fans, as I understand they have a relatively large following, but the post was something to the effect of “fandoms always lionize overwhelmingly white noncanon m/m ships at the expense of women and POC”.  Now, at a glance, that looks…correct, right?  At least considering the fandoms you usually see on Tumblr.  But that statement looks…really off to me, given my own lived experience, and the longer I looked the more off it looked, and the more complaints I had with it.

The first problem with this statement, and others like it: there is no such thing as a pan-fandom issue.  Statements like these posit that all fandoms, regardless of the source material, always have or develop the issue the poster sees and wishes to discuss.  It’s a good way to get attention, but it lacks the nuance to really support itself under scrutiny.  The truth of the matter is that the source material a fandom draws for has influence over the sort of fans who are drawn to it and the material they have to work with, which therefore effects the trends in tropes and shipping the fandom in question develops–and while broad similarities may be drawn across multiple fandoms with similar elements to them, no two fandoms develop alike, an effect which is compounded by differences in age, genre, and location of origin of the source material.  

For a personal example, I’ve been active in four fandoms I would consider strongly influential in terms of my taste in fiction and my writing ability and style.  Without getting overly specific, those fandoms are:

a video game franchise begun in the 80s, which has seen new installments released every 5-10 years

a magical girl manga (and later anime) produced in the early ‘00s, which has not seen new canon since

a popular and ongoing live action American movie series, which began release within the last decade

and, for good or ill, Voltron (an animated cartoon released in summer ‘16, which ran through December ‘18 with an utter shitstorm of a fandom)

If we believe statements such as the one above, one would expect that all four of those fandoms would have exactly the same inter-fandom issues, namely the sidelining of women and characters of color in favor of the white slash pairing of the day–but, having been in these fandoms, that’s true for exactly one of them.  I’d give you all three guesses, but let’s face it, the answer is obvious.  

It’s the live action American movie series.

In fact, the initial statement is fairly accurate when assessing that work, and other live action American movie series and television shows, and there’s a number of reasons why.  American live action media often gives disproportionate representation to white men, particularly when it comes to lead roles, while consigning women and POC to supporting roles.  As such, the (white, male) leads garner more development than the support roles, which makes the leads easier and more appealing for fic writers and shippers to work with.  Media with black leads, or other leads of color, also often have smaller fandoms overall, and as such don’t make the big, obvious waves large-scale fandoms like…say, Harry Potter or the MCU make on Tumblr.  

Canonical (female) love interests are also often sidelined by live action media fandoms, for a number of reasons–namely, in canon they are often granted less screentime, less depth, and less subjectivity than their male castmates, and are frequently treated as objects by the camera.  This makes it harder to empathize with them, especially given fandom is majority women who may be rendered too uncomfortable to work with the characters–there’s a good deal of baked-in misogyny that would need to be untangled from the character herself, and in most cases only the most committed of fans are actually going to sit down to do the work.

Now, mind you, these do not apply to all fandoms.  Voltron had some of the same problems with sidelining canonical love interests–but Voltron’s fandom flagships gag were between a half-human character of indeterminate ethnicity and two men of color, one of whom is canonically queer.  The magical girl manga fandom I mentioned above, ironically enough, has issues with sidelining a subtextually canonical f/f ship in favor of splitting the pair to put them in het ships.  And the video game fandom used to have issues with slash shippers in what was a majority het fandom, and still has lingering issues with slash depending on which corners of fandom you frequent.  

And yet, if I were to say “fandom has a problem with ignoring canonical queer subtext” or “fandom has a problem with inordinate aggression towards slash ships”, can you imagine the sort of ridicule I would face?  Most people discussing social issues in fannish contexts would look at me as though I’d sprouted a second head, when those issues are in fact present and in need of discussion–just not in the large, obvious fandoms in the Tumblrsphere, which seem to be the only fandoms these people consider deserving of discussion.

My second point can be summed up in a single sentence: it is not the responsibility of fandom to correct the issues present in the source canon.

No canon is perfect.  Creators are human, and flawed, and they will inevitably fuck up no matter how well they generally handle things.  And while those fuckups do impact the way the fandom creates (see my first point), fandom does not have a duty to fix those fuckups.  Fandom is not, and should not be, an activist space–it’s a creative space foremost, and it’s full of people with all sorts of baggage they pack in with them.  It’s unfair, and arguably cruel, to force people to engage with aspects of canon they find squicky, or even triggering, to ‘correct’ flaws in canon that your “activism” takes issue with.  (note: the link in the paragraph preceding this is mostly talking about shipping activism and while it makes some points about slash I disagree with, it makes plenty of good points about other sorts of fannish activism and the way fans who take their activism too far impact other fans and people unfamiliar with the source media)

And, additionally: unless you’re paying them, fan creators don’t owe you content.  Yes, even if they primarily create for that dreaded noncanon m/m ship and you’d rather they make content for your favored f/f ship.  Yes, even if your favored ship is actually canon, because there’s absolutely nothing wrong with shipping noncanon ships rather than canon ones–if I kept that mentality I wouldn’t create at all.  If you want content, you have to make it yourself, or commission it.

And, my final point: if you don’t enjoy things certain fandoms are doing, learn to use your blacklist and filters.

If, like the op of the post I’m complaining about, you’re tired of the proliferation of slash ships you have ideological disagreements with, blacklist them and the fandoms that produce them!  If there are particular common aus in a fandom you hate, figure out the tags and filter those!  Particular ‘hot takes’ you’re sick of seeing?  Seas of endless shitposts that make you roll your eyes?  One particular writer who does a ship you otherwise enjoy in a notably squicky way?  Blacklist, filter, and block.  

Because I guarantee you, no matter how many angry posts you make about people making content you personally dislike, you won’t make anyone stop producing it.

And you might even piss some of them off.

Now if you’ll all excuse me, I have a non-canon slash fic to work on.

#fannish salt #salt #this is absolutely not something i usually do and i don't intend to repeat the performance #but i was so pissed off yesterday i was literally seeing red #like!!! gods!!!!!! #just because mainstream live action american media franchises dominate tumblr #that doesnt mean issues those fandoms have are applicable to every other fandom everywhere!!! #and if you insist they are youre a fucking idiot and i wont apologise for saying it #like its beyond reductive to pretend theyre universally applicable #and frankly by assuming that worldview you miss a lot of issues actually present in the media in question #like the structural issues in vlds narrative that thoroughly borked their second and third arcs #and caused the surface issues that so much of the fandom fusses about rather than looking a little deeper for the common threads #but thats another post for another day

[disasterhumans]

Do you have any advice for dealing with people who directly insult the stuff you love? One of the people in my dnd group said at our last session that critical role wasn't real dnd and that Matt was a bad DM because he doesn't follow the rules, and normally I just let things go as other people having opinions but the way he said it had an implied comment that I wasn't a real dnd player because I play like critrole does and it still really stings.

I’m so sorry that happened, anon. Even knowing that people are going to have different opinions and enjoy different things, it still feels shitty to have the things you love insulted or disparaged.

Above all, the point of D&D is to tell a story and to have fun. If the way you’re playing the game is helping you experience the game in the way you want, you are playing the game “like a real dnd player.” 

I imagine that “playing like critrole does” means you appreciate leaning into the RP side of things–if that’s not something this other player at your table really connects with that’s also okay. If one or both of you aren’t getting what you want from the game, you should speak with your DM so that they know what parts of the game are important to each of you, so that they can tailor things according to both of your interests.

As far as addressing this player goes, I have two different answers to your question.

Answer 1:

Next time you have a game, you can simply say something to the effect of, “Hey, I know you don’t like Critical Role, and that’s okay, but I really enjoy the show, and it hurt for you dismiss something that is important me.” 

If the player is still rude/dismissive toward you in response you can also add something to the effect of, “The point in playing this game is to build a story together, and in order to do that, we need to respect the way everyone plays.”

Answer 2:

You can get pedantic.

In the Preface to the PHB Mike Mearls writes:

Above all else, D&D is yours. The friendships you make around the table will be unique to you. The adventures you embark on, the characters you create, the memories you make–these will be yours. D&D is your personal corner of the universe, a place where you have free reign to do as you wish.

Go forth now. Read the rules of the game and the story of its worlds, but always remember that you are the one who brings them to life. They are nothing without the spark of life that you give them. [emphasis mine]

And on page 4 of the DMG, in the Introduction to the book (which provides an explanation of what the DM is and does), you have this:

The D&D rules help you and the other players have a good time, but the rules aren’t in charge. You’re the DM, and you are in charge of the game.

On page 233, the first page of “Chapter 8: Running the Game,”

Rules enable you and your players to have fun at the table. The rules serve you, not vice versa. 

Table Rules:Ideally, players come to the gaming table with the same goal: to have a fun time together. This section gives recommendations for table rules you can establish to help meet that goal. Here are some fundamentals:

Foster respect. [emphasis author’s] Don’t bring personal conflicts to the table or let disagreements escalate into bad feelings. 

If you have physical copies of the books on hand, open to the pages and point out these sections.

Furthermore, the accusation that Matt Mercer does not follow the rules is absolutely ludicrous. Matt homebrews a lot, but there is literally an entire chapter on homebrewing in the Dungeon Master’s Guide. It is Chapter 7, titled “Dungeon Master’s Workshop.” (And even if there wasn’t, this would still be within his rights as DM.)

As the Dungeon Master, you aren’t limited by the rules in the Player’s Handbook, the guidelines in this book, or the selection of monsters in the Monster Manual. You can let your imagination run wild. This chapter contains optional rules that you can use to customize your campaign, as well as guidelines on creating your own material […] (p. 263, DMG).

Matt also sometimes makes rulings that another DM might not if he thinks it serves the story better. All of the above quotes support him doing this, but it might also be helpful to note that the DMG describes the DM as a “referee” (on page 5). It is Matt’s job to make calls based on his judgment in difficult situations. It’s also his job to make sure his players are having a good time, which means that the game and world he’s creating may not look like the game your fellow player wants to play. And that’s fine, but it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with Matt as a DM.

Matt definitely also makes mistakes and forgets or misremembers rules sometimes. I’m going to venture a guess an say that’s because Matt is human.

Above all else, D&D is a game based on collaborative storytelling, and what works for one table won’t fit another. Matt clearly knows and understands his players and crafts a story and game that works for them. It’s quite easy to see that the entire cast is having a great time, which means they are all playing the game exactly right.

P.S. If you don’t have the physical books on hand, feel free to print this response out so you can provide them with the direct quotes and page numbers.

Go forth, and happy gaming.

#also feel free to flick them on the ear for me #critical role #dnd #dungeons and dragons #Anonymous #asks

[candi-girl]

KH3: Hollower Than Any Toy Review **Minor Spoilers**

I just beat KH3 yesterday. I came out of it feeling a bit disappointed. The game is beautiful and the mechanics are still fun but everything from the story to the boss fights felt a bit lackluster. The last boss fights were extremely easy and did not feel as epic to me as KH2's last boss fights. In fact, I liked KH2's ending way more. I haven't played KH2 in years and I still remember exactly how it goes and how I felt after beating it. After what felt like an eternity of reflecting and deflecting light beams back at Xemnas, Sora and a badly wounded Riku sit hopelessly on the shores of the Realm of Darkness. Suddenly a letter in a bottle with a familiar seal emerges from the dark sea. A light shines, a slowed down piano version of "Sanctuary" plays and we are back in the welcoming and colorful world of Destiny Islands. Donald and Goofy lovingly embrace Sora. His eyes then lock-on to Kairi's, Roxas and Namine's eyes follow suit. This felt wayyyy more emotional than KH3's ending which I struggle to remember even though I beat it today.

Before I go any further, I feel I must preface this especially for a post about KH. No, I haven’t played all the spin-off games but I AM A PASSIONATE FAN of the main games in the series. I played the first one for PS2 at 11 when it came out and I was absolutely blown away and in love. I played KH2 at about 14 and got sucked in all over again. In college, I would play Birth By Sleep in between classes. I played 1.5 for PS3 sometime in college as well. Most recently at 27, I played 0.2 from the "The Story So Far" bundle for PS4. I have tried playing Chain of Memories numerous times on an emulator but couldn't stand the Card System and never got very far or finished it. I've also tried 358/2 on an emulator and I've even tried watching it but never got far with it either. I have skipped Re-coded altogether and as soon as I saw the Dream Eaters Link mechanic in DDD I stopped playing that too. I have played a little bit of the mobile KH game but not for long. Suffice it to say, I'm not into mobile games or games for portable devices. The only 2 games I can recall that I have beaten on a portable device (besides Pokemon games on Gameboy) are Birth By Sleep and FFVII: Crisis Core (both PSP). Generally, I get more immersed in games on a TV screen.

Okay so background out of the way, here is what bothers me about KH3 and probably why KH3's ending didn't make me feel as much as KH2's ending. And let me just say, I know this might not be a problem for others who have played all the games, read all the news and external books, probably follow Nomura on Twitter but I don't do that. When it comes to gaming, here is my process: I see a cool game, I want it, I buy it, I play it, I judge whether I like it based on the content in the game, nothing external. I don't follow any gaming news or actively pursue it. If I happen to have the time I’ll watch E3 and hear about things here and there but mostly, when I pick-up a game, I'm hoping it can be self-contained. So, knowing that about me, you can see why I absolutely loathe that if you haven't played KH DDD, KH Recoded, KH 358/2 Days, KH X (the Foretellers lore stuff) you're missing out on like 3/4 of the story.

Chain of Memories being between KH1 and KH2 irked me but I forgave it because the characters and story were still basically the same. Lock keyholes to protect various worlds from being consumed by darkness, help characters in those various worlds with their problem, stop main baddy from opening up Kingdom Hearts, and don't forget that friends are your strength and light. Nothing is wrong with keeping a story “Simple and Clean” and in fact, I think if a story is simple you can focus on making stronger character arcs and make the game super character driven so that the dangerous stuff that happens to characters IS actually scary and emotional! (Side Note: I also believe that because of the association with Disney, the KH franchise feels like it cannot tackle more mature themes like actual death of loved ones, failure, betrayal, etc. which really holds back what a game about the Heart could explore in a more serious, sophisticated manner. However, games like “Ni No Kuni” still find ways to talk about death, depression and grief in ways that are appropriate for younger audiences so it’s possible to do it, KH!)  

And I know that KH3 pokes fun at itself for having so many different titles in the franchise and I know it tries to get you up to speed but it cheapens the experience when SO MUCH of the story-telling and lore heavily relies on externalities and not the self-contained game. It seriously becomes a hindrance and emotional barrier when #1 I don't know know what's going on (or don’t understand/feel the extent and impact of something that's supposed to be dangerous), #2 don't know characters well enough to care about them and #3 there are no real stakes in the KH world because every game you fight the same goddamn enemies. I don't know all the Organization members like the back of my hand so their deaths don't do anything for me plus you fight them at least twice throughout the series (maybe even more) so that shows that they can always come back. The rules and logic in KH are very fast and loose. It's like playing a game with a child and when they are losing they make something up. And all this "I think I should know this character but I don't remember" dialogue is so cheap. Stop with the amnesia story-lines! Games like Chain of Memories and Re-Coded, that are made for portable devices are made to hold fans over until the big main game comes out. Let’s be real, KH: Re-Coded might as well be called “KH: Re-Sell” because it’s KH one all over again but on the DS. Now there’s nothing wrong with a company re-branding and re-selling a product if they know fully-well that there is a market for it (in the words of Cutler Beckett, “it’s just good business”) but for the love of all things good, DO NOT PLACE INTEGRAL plot points in them that the main games will gloss over. And don't expect me to read Jiminy’s Journal! 

Who is this game for? It plays like a casual game but feels like beginning a story at it’s falling action point. I can’t imagine being a newcomer to this series and playing this game and understanding it. I played the game super slowly, exploring each Disney world thoroughly, trying to take it all in but there is so little KH story given throughout the game. Once I moved on to the Badlands, the actual main KH plot began to unfold. When I first started playing KH3, my gf (who has only played a few hours of the first KH) asked me "so why are you going to other worlds if you're not locking keyholes?" I stumbled on my words to give her an answer. I replied "Sora needs to regain his strength and get the power of waking." She nodded but I knew it sounded kind of stupid. "He looks pretty powerful already!" She said as she watched me defeat hordes of enemies in the first world, Olympus. And that was another thing. I felt super overpowered from the beginning all the way up until the end. When fighting Xehanort all I could think was "that's it?" The game is all about Sora regaining his lost powers and learning the power of waking but you start off super powerful anyway. 

This may be a bit of a tangent but in Final Fantasy X, Yuna started off as the weakest, most feeble, docile character in personality and combat as she is just a white mage. I avoided using her at all costs. I had Lulu for black magic and switched Yuna in only when I really needed Protective magic or healing. However, by the end of the game, Yuna with her fully decked out Nirvana staff, third tier white and black magic, double-cast, and ultima became my most valuable and dangerous character. Not only does she literally become stronger in combat, but her (dare I say it) heart becomes stronger too. She becomes bolder and braver. She starts questioning her religion and the society and world she grew up in. She grows in every sense of the word. Yuna’s character trajectory is one of the most poetic I’ve ever seen and experienced in a game and I absolutely love that it’s FELT both in the combat of the game AND the story. I guess the point I’m trying to make is there should be growth in the character’s development but also growth in the game mechanics and combat. FFX is a game that intertwined both forms of growth organically and I think KH3 really should’ve done that as well. Starting off weak and THEN becoming powerful enough to take on the big baddy in the ending rewards the players for their efforts and also feels way more satisfying. Also, a certain character that begins with “K” and ends with “airi” could’ve EASILY been the Yuna of this game. But once again KH3 repeats the same old ideas over and over again. Also, speaking of Final Fantasy, where are my Final Fantasy characters in KH3??

I know this sounds like a negative review but overall, I actually did enjoy playing KH3 and it was great to see all my favs and like I always say, it always feels like home. I'm definitely not done yet (gotta synthesize ultima, collect all treasures and lucky emblems, reach level 99, and maybe play some mini-games). But ultimately it did not have that emotional impact on me like the first 2 KH's. Maybe I AM too old and broken. Maybe when I replay it one day I'll feel differently. Anyway, see you in 2040 when KH4 comes out!

#kh spoilers #kh3 spoilers #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts 3 #kh3 #kh3 review #personal

[dramaticviolincrescendo]

Spoiler-Free KH3 Review

This review will not contain any spoilers for the story content of Kingdom Hearts III; the only mechanics I will mention with regards to gameplay are the ones that we have seen in the trailers. As this may get a little long, the rest is under the cut.

First of all, let me preface this by saying that I am exceedingly biased. I am one of the originals; I am one of the ancients who remembers when the first game came out and what it felt like to see the groundbreaking technology it used in 2002 when I was twelve years old. I’ve had every game at launch and been fortunate enough to keep up with the various handhelds and consoles that the series has spanned. Kingdom Hearts has become an ingrained part of who I am, and I find it difficult to remember a time when it didn’t exist. After all, it’s been around for far more than half of my life now, so it’s as if it’s always been there. That isn’t to say that I don’t recognize that it has shortcomings, but that’s the same with any game or other media. It’s made by humans, and as such, there will always be room to improve. Nevertheless, I am a hardcore Kingdom Hearts fan and love this series more than this post will ever intimate. That said, I am going to attempt to keep this review as impartial as possible. Let’s see how well I do, shall we?

Gameplay:

Honestly, this was the part I was most nervous about. As I watched all the trailers, it felt like an overload to see just how much you could do in this game compared with the prior installments. Adding that to the upgraded technology we saw them using, like a smartphone, and I began to wonder... Was this going to feel like a Kingdom Hearts game? Would it be as magical as the others? Don’t get me wrong: all the new mechanics looked exciting and spectacular. I simply felt that it would be hard to keep it all straight and that updating the technology would mean leaving behind everything that made the series so special to me. 

It turned out that my concerns were unwarranted. KH3 has my favorite gameplay system yet. Running up walls is still a little disorienting, but the rest is magnificent. Summons are fun and interactive in a way that previous entries weren’t, offering the player more opportunities to interact with the environment rather than merely wait for the summon to do their thing while mashing X or triangle. Attraction flow was phenomenal and extremely useful, and alongside older additions like flowmotion and shotlocks, they created a much more diverse experience. Even the standard combos were more artistic and gave you options for what to do next. As someone who has always been more of a melee person than a magic-user, I had a blast with the magic in this game. (Pun intended.) There were a lot of instances where I used that more than my physical attacks. And all that new technology Sora uses? It turns out that it was just as magical as ever. A different type of magic, sure, but magical all the same. There was nothing about the gameplay that was less than stellar to me.

Graphics:

Good Lord, do you have time? I’ve never been a snob when it comes to graphics. As long as the story is captivating, I’m good with just about any art style. Even so, I’m being entirely real when I say that some of those cutscenes made me cry purely because everyone looked so beautiful. The team really brought the thunder and showed us that the extra time they needed to get used to this engine was not in vain. On the contrary, it’s easy to see that these talented artists are experts in their field when you get a load of what they managed to accomplish. The style shifted with the theme of the world; many of them upped the ante and had full, opening-quality CGI cutscenes at the end or at various other points. If you ever felt like you were pulled out of the experience because of the more cartoonish elements of the previous games, then fear not. You’ll forget there’s a real world as you traverse some of these.

Music:

Another triumph. Everything is perfectly balanced between new tracks and the familiar ones we recognize from as far back as the first game. That’s something I personally appreciate a lot, even though it may be nostalgia talking. As someone who is very attuned to emotion as it is conveyed through music, I felt that they used the songs we revere at just the right times to evoke an emotional response in anyone who played the other games. And the new tunes? Oh, man. Every time I think there’s no topping what they’ve already done, Yoko Shimomura and the other composers that have contributed to the series prove me wrong. I can’t wait to buy the soundtrack when they make it.

Easter Eggs:

If you’re an old hand like me, then you’re going to love all the little surprises hidden in the dialogue, the worlds, and the situations. If you’re not… Well, I hope that they make you want to go back and see what the references mean!

Story:

Yup, I saved this one for last as I think it is the most important. Kingdom Hearts is a series built on its extensive storyline. (Notice that I said extensive and not convoluted. Sorry, but I’ve never seen it as being hard to understand, although I recognize and respect that not everyone agrees.)

Let’s start with the Disney worlds. I already mentioned that they are stylistically gorgeous. There are many instances where you can’t tell that you aren’t really playing inside that particular movie. The only exception is in the Caribbean, but that’s pretty understandable; even so, the animation is spectacular and makes it look real without the uncanny valley sensation. There is a typical balance of worlds that rehash what happened in their movies as well as ones that have original storylines designed to act as sequels of a sort. Both are done phenomenally well. I think the only thing that gave me pause was the length of some of the cutscenes. Again, that’s understandable given how much content they had to pack into this game in order to provide closure, and since I am always a big fan of story over gameplay, it didn’t bother me. Just be aware that if you prefer to have short cutscenes or none at all, there will be a lot of them.

Speaking of cutscenes, they did a fantastic job with pacing this game. Rather than traveling to a set number of worlds before advancing the main plot, you see what is going on with our collective heroes every time you complete a world. As such, you end up with a more solid flow that shows there is progress on all fronts and connects what Sora learns in each world to the larger plot, especially when Organization members come into play in the worlds he visits. I know some people have said that the “relevant” plot is only in the last few hours, but I honestly felt that there was a lot of very important information and development between world visits that was absolutely necessary. It also served as a nice break since each world was significantly longer than any of the others in the series thus far.

Now, about the original, non-Disney storyline. As I said, I’ve been in this fandom for seventeen years—I am very well aware of the various criticisms that the series has received. Some, I understand even if I don’t agree; others, I’m afraid I just can’t wrap my head around. Needless to say, my mind was boggled when I finally logged back into all my social media to see that there are actually people claiming the game is incomplete. It seems like every game is “incomplete” these days if it didn’t have every single thing that people wanted. That being said…

This game is complete. Period.

Once again, I think perhaps you have to have lived with the series for a long time to understand that this is how it works: you tie up a major plot point and then get punched in the gut with a new mystery to look forward to deciphering in the next game. Admittedly, that sucker-punch was more of a sucker-here-let-me-throw-you-off-a-cliff-and-send-your-heart-into-eternal-torment this time, but still. We’re accustomed to this formula. It’s something specific to the Kingdom Hearts series, whereas many other games tend to tie up everything as a single experience and then create a brand new storyline if they make a sequel. That’s just not how Kingdom Hearts works, which is fine by me. As promised, the Xehanort Saga has indeed come to an end. Kingdom Hearts, however, is still going to continue, and they clearly built the game with that concept in mind. That’s all I will say about that to avoid spoilers.

…Actually, no it’s not. A word of advice: have tissues handy.

Okay, that is all I will say about that to avoid spoilers.

Overall Rating:

A+++++++++++++

This game won’t please everyone. No game or anything else ever does. Regardless, this was worth every second of the years I’ve waited to play it, and I finished the game pumped to hype up the next one. I tried to go in with no expectations to avoid disappointment, but I shouldn’t have bothered. This is a phenomenal conclusion to the Xehanort Saga, and I am so grateful to Nomura and his team for the time, energy, and love they put into this game.

If you’re a KH fan, I don’t have to tell you how amazing this is. If you’re not, then this is still a super fun gaming experience that will keep you interested if for no other reason than the gameplay and Disney elements. Either way, I wrote this review because I had to get it off my chest before the stuff I reblog (all marked #kh3 spoilers, of course) hits my dash. I hope you enjoyed my take, and may your heart be your guiding key!

Whew. There. Totally unbiased opinion.

Totally.

#kingdom hearts #kh #kingdom hearts 3 #kh3

[overdrivels]

The Hanzo-disliking anon here. I would have actually preferred discussing this w/ you privately but I prefer to be on anon for the whole "doesn't like a beloved popular character" thing. The reason I don't like Hanzo is how he seems to have the audacity to act like the offended party with Genji when he's the one who did wrong. It's not even that he doesn't realize he did wrong. He abandoned his clan due to guilt. I can't for the life of me understand what appears to be his victim complex. (1/2)

(2/2) He goes around calling Genji “trash” to his face in the Japanese version of OW for goodness’ sake. That Genji is dead to him and stuff. It could be that he feels Genji betrayed him by refusing to join the Shimada business or that he feels like his redemption quest has been for nothing, but those are terrible reasons and don’t excuse his shitty behavior. I’ve been trying to think of what the writers are trying to go for with him, but I just can’t imagine anything that justifies his attitude

(3/2 I miscalculated 2 asks aren’t enough) I hope I didn’t come off as a jerk. I have no issue with people who like Hanzo and I don’t want to disrespect or undermine them. I’m just irritated at how self-entitled the character seems to be. The reason I actually brought this up with you is bc I was hoping you’d have some insights on this that will help me understand why he’s the way he is.

You’ve been very respectful in the way you express your opinions and well articulated in your reasons, so I’m actually extremely happy that you’ve presented this to me and feel comfortable enough to share. (You have no fucking clue how pleased I am to have a discussion like this, really.)

This is rather long (very long), so I’m placing this under a cut. To everyone else, please be mindful of each other’s opinions, especially when it’s being conveyed so civilly. Understandably, if you are of the opposite opinion, you may feel angered, but I ask that you refrain from attacking anyone and if need be, present your opinion and thoughts in the same manner as this anon.

(I also ask that this doesn’t get reblogged because I don’t think I can handle my inbox getting wrecked by people who weren’t initially a part of the conversation or know the context of the entire discussion leading up to this.)

I’d be happy to discuss it with you on chat or something, but as it is, this’ll have to work. I’m going to preface this by saying that Hanzo doesn’t need to be (shouldn’t need to be?) justified as a character because sometimes, a character does shitty things and that shittiness (shittyness?) needs to be acknowledged and not justified for any reason because there’s no good enough explanation.

(I’m sure we’ve all experienced or done something like that in real life–did something so inexcusable without proper explanation, but there really isn’t one, and we have to accept it as is.)

I think it’s easy to look at the singular action of Hanzo killing Genji in a vacuum. Based on that singular event alone, and seeing how Hanzo acts afterward, it’s very easy to paint him as an asshole whose actions are inexcusable and he doesn’t deserve to claim that he’s the one who is hurt. In which case, absolutely. He should not act like he’s been wronged when he’s the one who started it.

But what if we start further?  

I want to look at the cause and what could’ve led up to it. Not to justify it, but to see where this could’ve come from. It’s my own opinion, but I think that people are very used to writers having their characters as is–no background unless it’s relevant to the plot, no thought of what sort of life they’ve lead up to this point, and is presented as a given. However, I see that the Overwatch team has put some effort into characters (the level of effort can be debatable, but I’m not interested in debating that), so I want to show some level of respect to the writers by trying to dig a little deeper into where, why, how–who is this character?

And I think a lot of it may have come from Hanzo’s circumstance, his relations with his brother, and his past. To understand it, we have to take a deeper look into Japanese culture (or Asian culture, in general). Now, I can’t claim that I have a complete understanding of anything, so a lot of this is just what I know (and perhaps experiences) and some speculation and logical deductions.

In life, Genji was given a freedom that Hanzo, as the eldest and the heir to a criminal syndicate, never truly enjoyed. That isn’t to say, however, that Genji didn’t have his own fair share of troubles. 「一族の恥」(ichizoku no haji)、the clan’s shame/the embarrassment of the clan is what they called him. We can leave the discussion about Genji for another day, but let’s look at how this affects Hanzo.

So from birth and even after his father’s death, he was held to a strict standard. Everyone was watching him. He was chosen by the dragons. He must not make a mistake lest he bring shame to his entire family.

In Japanese culture (and Asian culture), losing face is probably one of the worst things that could happen to you. In Western culture, it’s not that big of a deal if you embarrass yourself a little or you’re not as successful or you don’t have the respect of your subordinates. People will tease you about it, and move on.

In Asian culture, you’re pretty much fucked. No one will let you forget it, it becomes a part of you now. You will lose the respect of everyone around you, and depending on the level of face you lose, every piece of success you’ve built up can be lost in a second. It is an integral part of your identity and society. Losing face could make you a nobody, scorned, and an outcast. It can affect your job, your family, relations with neighbors, cost you that raise or promotion–it’s a big deal that cannot be contained to the words, ‘embarrassment’ or ‘shame’.

(For example: you’re at someone’s house and you’ve finished off your glass of juice, but you’re still thirsty, so you reach for more from the fridge. You’ve now made the host lose face because, by getting your own drink, you’ve shown your host that they suck at what they do and should be more attentive to you, their guest. You’ve made your host lose face. Now your host is embarrassed and that’s going to be a mark on them for a long, long time. If there were other people there, they would notice this, too, and give that person shit. This sounds absolutely silly because it’s a glass of juice, but it’s a big deal.)

Hanzo was losing face. He couldn’t control his brother. That’s a deep scar on his image, on everything he’s built up in his life. For Sojiro, his father, it was less of a deal–he let Genji do it and probably made it openly known that this was acceptable. And no one will go against Sojiro, the master of the clan and who could have them all killed in an instant.

But Hanzo?

He doesn’t have that rapport yet, so he’s subject to the scorn and nasty comments of his elders and the like. (I’m assuming there are elders and those in the clan who are of a high power that Hanzo cannot take action without consulting. It’s kind of like a Japanese company. While a President delivers the decision, the decision isn’t made it without consulting those who are affected and knowledgeable.) He can’t defend himself against them. 

Why? 

Because of the hierarchy. There’s a very specific type of hierarchy in Japan that’s difficult to explain because to understand it, you have to understand the intricacies of the culture and the dynamic of the clan, which we don’t particularly have.

(There’s a very good post about it by someone about Hanzo losing face on tumblr, but I can’t seem to find it at the moment.)

Regardless, that must’ve built up a lot of tension and repressed anger that he wasn’t allowed to express. Expressing your anger is not taken the same way as in the Western world. It’s…well, not to say it’s not acceptable, but it’s not taken the same way as it would be outside of Japan.

So, Hanzo has quite a bit on his plate. Why can’t Genji just do what he’s told? Why does he have to stand out? (As a side note, standing out in Japanese culture or disrupting the status quo is not looked kindly upon.There’s even a saying in Japanese: a nail that stands out gets hammered ( 出る杭は打たれる ).) So Genji’s defiance is another point of contention. Why does he have to keep disobeying his elders? Hanzo is Genji’s older brother. It’s his absolute responsibility to make sure his brother is kept in line. That’s the burden of being the eldest. If Genji isn’t in line, Hanzo has failed in his basic duties in being an older brother. (The implications are much more serious, and I’m not quite sure how to express it.)

He may be acing his studies, and listening to his father, but he can’t seem to exert the right amount of authority over those who should be listening to him. And his father isn’t helping by letting Genji do what he wants. He also has this constant pressure to do better because his best isn’t enough from both his family and the clan. Logically, they wouldn’t follow someone who is weak or doesn’t have his shit in order. But he doesn’t. There’s always something tripping him up, and that’s his brother. Not to blame Genji, because again, he has his own share of troubles, but from Hanzo’s point of view, he was likely the source of a lot of his resentment.

In short, Hanzo is a failure. His accomplishments, his perfectionism, none of it means anything if he’s constantly getting shit thrown back at his face.

I seriously believe that all the lines he says in-game to himself such as, “Never second best,” or “Unworthy,” or “You will never amount to anything!” were all just Hanzo projecting.

In the Japanese version, he refers to Genji as 「くず」 (trash). I don’t know what to make of this. I could take the angle that it’s Hanzo projecting onto Genji still, or I could speculate that he truly believes he’s superior, or take it a little more neutrally, he’s repeating what everyone else calls Genji. But if I had to guess, it’s a mixture of everything. This is something that stumps me a little bit, but the above is the best explanation I have for it.

When Hanzo becomes the master of the clan, he was probably told to put Genji in line. And Genji didn’t want anything to do with the clan. He wanted to live his life, enjoy it. But that sort of enjoyment came with certain responsibilities that he has shirked since the time of their father. But with Hanzo as the new leader of the clan, he had to put Genji in line or…do something about it.

It’s very likely that the rest of the clan saw this as an opportunity to make their name good, to get rid of those who stood out, to right everything. Their new leader is young and inexperienced without his father to protect him. So, Hanzo was presented with those two choices: straighten Genji out or kill him lest you bring more shame to the clan.

Now, Hanzo is given an opportunity to redeem himself and his image and the clan’s image. This goes beyond the redemption quest he set out for after Genji’s death. I think he was on one even before then. He can save face and fix everything if he listens to his elders (his betters in the hierarchy). He can fix everything if he can get rid of the problem–Genji.

He did it. He did not take an insult to his power passively, he rectified it by putting an end to it. He restored confidence in his clan as an assassin, as master of the clan, as his brother.

…but it wasn’t so.

After killing his brother, we all know he left the Shimada clan. We’re not sure if it was immediately after or some time after. The timing may be very significant, but as we do not readily know, we’ll skip over it for now. We can easily call his leaving an act of cowardice, or the result of his guilt, or that he wanted to do something he always wanted to do but never found an opportunity to do so. He wanted to leave. He wanted the freedom that Genji had, but couldn’t have because his immediate family still existed.

By leaving, he thought for himself for once.

Ah, not to mean that he was blindly following anyone’s orders or anything, but for once, he thought of himself. He was selfish. In Japanese culture, the collective comes first. The clan, the whole of Hanamura, the whole of society comes first.

But for once, Hanzo became selfish, and so, left everything behind. Here’s the funny thing though, by killing Genji, he found a way out for his freedom, but by killing Genji, he also managed to never fully express the envy and hate he may have had for his brother.

In many or most cultures, you’re supposed to revere the dead. It’s pretty much the same in Japanese culture.

Now he’s been mourning for ten years, still unable to express that hate that he has supposed buried when he killed his brother. And guess who shows up? Genji. Back to sling shit into his face again. Not only is he a failure as a brother for being unable to keep his brother in line, as the master of the clan by leaving, but also as a killer by having one of his most life-altering kills come back from the grave.

So, under such circumstances, I would absolutely be pissed beyond hell and vent in almost any way I can because pride is a fragile thing. Or at least, it is for Hanzo.

But here’s an interesting thought: I also wonder if he knew, deep down, that it would come to this. He didn’t seem entirely too surprised beyond the first few seconds. As a matter of fact, he seemed to have gone back to something more childish, acting almost immediately like a big brother–scolding his younger brother for something and telling him to get his life together. He slips into the role almost too easily.

We can chalk it up to shock, but couldn’t it be that he also knew he never actually dealt the finishing blow and that’s been nagging at him this whole time? Not that he gave his brother a chance to live, but that he let his brother suffer. If you’re going to kill someone you love, you’d make it quick and painless, right? We can argue that he never loved his brother, but we can also argue that he was warring with himself and couldn’t bring himself to do it.

I must sound like a broken record, but to me, it’s very interesting to speculate and think about. There are so many angles we can take on this and the possibilities are endless. But it could also be that his character could also be very simple broken down as an man who mistakenly thinks he is being wronged all the time.

But yes, your thoughts are valid and meaningful to me in a way that I can’t explain. They also gave me some perspective on why some people might not like him, and I really want to thank you for helping me expand my horizons. In light of that, I hope I’ve been able to articulate why he may be the way he is, whether he is justified in his behavior or not is a completely different story. I’m just interested in why.

(There was a lot more I would’ve love to elaborate on, but I think this would’ve actually turned into a research paper. I hope this has been helpful and sufficient in answering your questions even though it’s a little disorganized in its presentation. Again, it’s perfectly fine to dislike a character–not all characters are made to be liked, and not all people are expected to like all characters.)

#anon #ask #character analysis

[its8simplejulesblog]

So I’m Supposed To Be Studying For An Econ Exam Right Now

But I just had to write this. Sometimes I feel like things that would normally be a priority to someone else should take the back burner when I feel like there is an important social issue that needs to be addressed. Today’s topic is a little bit sensitive. It’s a little bit scary and I don’t think this will be too detailed or graphic but I want to issue a trigger warning anyway because you just never know.

I want to talk about harassment.

I contemplated writing this post for a little while now just because I didn’t think it necessarily applied to me. We live in a man’s world. Everyone knows it. You’re taught it in school and it’s reinforced and confirmed in your everyday and social lives. I publicly say “I hate men” about at least 7 times a day just because I don’t know what else to say at this point (but I don’t truly mean it). Life is a game of power and men have it. It’s one of those things that is so deeply ingrained in universal society that there is no hope in it changing anytime soon (just being honest). However, as I grow up and look more inquisitively on the world I see this power play out in so many different ways and if we were to brush all of my jokes and nagging comments and eyerolls aside I have to say, quite frankly, that it’s scary. 

I am very much a feminist (in the traditional sense of equality, not the modern sense of putting men down). If you had asked me if I was about a year ago I would have also said yes, but I would have added a “but....” as to alleviate the implications that I was crazy and aggressive and trying to assert my female dominance and grind all men to a ridiculous pulp. It sounds stupid, but every time the word was introduced in a conversation all of the guys in the room would crack jokes or talk shit and if anyone knows me at all, the unfortunate truth is I’m constantly trying not to be the negative talk of anyone’s conversation, even if that means silencing myself. 

So, for the longest time I kind of stayed away from that word. That is, until my parent’s anniversary. On April 9th, 2020 my mom and dad and I sat down and watched their wedding video. We talked about all of the cute things my dad did for my mom and eventually my mom told me that instead of a bouquet she threw a remote to the women and my dad threw an apron to the men to just highlight how bullshit they thought gender roles were. I fell in love with the concept, and ever since then have been thinking more and more about how I should just say what I feel without the fear of being ridiculed by anyone. 

A woman’s role in society, the cooking and cleaning I get it..in fact, I really do enjoy doing those things. However, that fact is one small drop in the bucket when I consider what those implications mean. The women that fought for the right to vote, the women that are publicly shamed for speaking up about being raped by anyone let alone our fucking president. I know this blog was supposed to be a friendly and welcoming place but let me just say that it makes me shake with rage when I think about how frequently women are disrespected. 

I would be lying if I said this didn’t apply to me, so that’s why I needed to write this. I want to preface this part by saying that I have been so so so SO lucky to have been surrounded by so many amazing men my whole life. I’ve learned so much from them and some of them have turned into my best friends and I trust my dad and uncles and grandfather with my life. However, it has to be addressed that virtually every female in the world has been harassed or treated as less than in one way or another. I know that I’m not typically one for making vague claims like that, and I would rather whip out statistics, but I think that’s a claim I can make with absolute certainty. 

There’s a certain point where it’s not a joke anymore. I understand that miscommunication and misinterpretations are a thing. I understand that a lot of guys have good intentions that are incorrectly viewed, I get it. But a lot of the times...it’s not. I remember when the Me Too movement was at its peak and there were still men making jokes and not taking it seriously and I wanted to vomit. These are people’s sisters, daughters, friends. People that I’ve known since middle school that could do no wrong, people that are sweet and want nothing else than to see the good in everyone get taken advantage of all the time. I have not been raped, but everyday I live in fear that it could be me. 

The concept is unconditional. You don’t have to be conventionally pretty to be taken advantage of. It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing at the time it doesn’t matter where you are it doesn’t matter if you think you know someone or not NO ONE deserves to be violated like that. I understand that harassment and sexual assault is not limited to women, but I feel the need to speak mainly on what I am familiar with. 

I was in New York with my family. We were walking through the streets of Manhattan and we walked through a group of men hanging out and they all whistled at me. My mom threatened to hit them with a flyswatter. 

I had a teacher in highschool who was particularly interested in our adherence to the dress code. In the middle of class he would make us stand up and touch our toes so he could measure if our skirts were too short. There were times when he called me out specifically and I was mortified. There was one day when I was sick and he called and asked to speak to me personally. He asked me if I was okay and taking care of myself and he made sure that if there was anything he could do that I should let him know. He asked me to be his TA the next school year, but before that could happen he was arrested. 

I dated a guy in highschool that cursed me out profusely when we broke up. He told me that I thought I was better than him and that I was trash and a loser. He couldn’t fathom the idea that I was capable of making my own choices.

The male mentors on my robotics team always talked over me. It was a miracle if I got a word in. Towards the end, I could finally hold my own, but it was a process. There were days when I would cry to my dad because I was trying so hard to prove myself. I told myself every day that the next day I wouldn’t cry in front of them because if I did they wouldn’t take me seriously. 

In Disney World I had a guy run up to me and ask for my snapchat because he thought I was pretty. I had never met him, we knew nothing about each other. It was supposed to be a compliment, but I felt objectified. 

I was at a frat party at UD. I was hanging out with my friends when a guy tapped me from behind and we started a conversation. He was a really nice guy, very sweet, but when my friends came back and told me they were about to leave I felt very trapped. The guy I was talking to seemed sad and he told them that they could leave and he would watch out for me. I thanked him, but went with my friends anyway and a few days later he stopped talking to me. 

I got cheated on because my ex was bored and had other options

I’ve now blocked 3+ guys on social media for constantly asking to hang out because I’m scared of how they’ll react if I say no. God forbid you reject a man. The second you do you’re called a fraud and told you’re not that pretty anyway and you’re selfish and not actually that great and are a waste of time. 

So no, no I wasn’t raped, but I have every reason to write this post. Fuck Brock Turner. Fuck Donald Trump. Fuck Bill Cosby. I could go on and on and on. This is not just a race war, this is people standing up to what they never could. Is the country in disarray? Yes, but I say, bring it on. I’m sick and tired of people making jokes about things that are serious problems. I’m sick and tired of men thinking they’re entitled to me. I don’t owe men SHIT. I shouldn’t be surprised when someone treats me right or opens a door for me or asks for my consent. How messed up is that that the bare minimum seems like a reward. 

So to the guys reading this: when I say, “I hate men” don’t get defensive, don’t say “not me though,” don’t make jokes. When I say I hate men I mean I hate the system that degrades me to nothing in their presence. I’m tired of feeling like a hero in my econ class because I’m the only girl speaking up. I’m tired of people assuming that I only work out cause I’m trying to impress someone. I’m tired of feeling like a failure because I feel uncomfortable and disrespected sending certain pictures fuck that. 

I know there are good guys out there, I do. I just wish there were more because there’s nothing quite like feeling constantly used. It really puts a damper on your image of yourself. 

I am not here to please anyone. I am not here for you, I’m here for me, and if I recognize that someone in my life is good for me then they will stay, otherwise, you can snip snip yourself out of my life. I’m not a piece of meat. I have thoughts and feelings and I can have intellectual conversations and I can use power tools and solve math equations and I’m not an idiot and I’m not a toy so I refuse to be treated like that ever again. 

I used to be afraid to say that I was a feminist, but now I can say so with absolute confidence and if you’re a male that’s uncomfortable with that then good, think about what that means. Men ARE smarter and more capable after all, right?