#lesbian?? aro-ace perhaps?

[alien-from-planet-zog]

QIAO LING ALLY!!!

or…is she, you know…

#link click #link click memes #shiguang #noodle lesbians #do xu shanshan and dong yi even have a ship name?? #they’ll never give QL a bf which is kinda fun since it makes it very easy for people to project onto her #is she an amazing straight ally?? #lesbian?? aro-ace perhaps? #I like to imagine she’s bi but that’s me projecting #bisexuality is an amazing thing… #qiao ling #it’s so unimportant anyway. she’s just amazing #apologies if this format has been done. but if you’ve made this then let’s be friends

[addio-anushka]

Realising I don't like men but the aroace inside of me prevents me from relating to many lesbian experiences,,...

#aroace #ace #aro #asexual #aromantic #aroace lesbian #perhaps??????? #lesbian #sapphic #wlw #lgbtq

[catnippackets]

disclaimer: as a sex-repulsed aroace person myself--

on one hand, there is definitely a bit of a double standard when it comes to handling canonically queer characters like, from what I've seen in the circles that I frequent (if you've had different experiences then great but I'm just telling it how I see it). for example, you're morally reprehensible if you ship a canon lesbian with a man or refer to a canon bi character as a lesbian. people will be so angry with you. and it's understandable, since there's so little queer rep in comparison to cishet rep that when there IS a rare actual queer character, the unofficial rule is "don't take that away from them when you add more headcanons to them". like, respect that this one is REAL and NOT just a headcanon. I think it makes perfect sense to feel upset when people take that away, even if it is just fiction and not even canon to the original source. and yet, whenever there exists a canon asexual character suddenly it's all "oh well asexual people can still have sex so it's fine if we headcanon THIS canon sexuality as something different". it makes me feel so genuinely heartache-y and depressed to see ppl ignoring that aspect of a character.

and by "canon" I'm also including characters that were never specifically referred to with a label but are very obviously coded as something, because those characters will still get the "even if it's not stated it's pretty obvious!!" treatment when it comes to showing attraction to the same gender, but not when they DON'T show attraction to any gender. like aro and/or ace coding just doesn't count. I understand that it's kind of hard to represent an absence of something, especially when you're only implying it and not even directly showing it, but it's not impossible. there's a lot of characters that you could argue are aroace coded the same way you could argue a character is gay coded. obviously to a degree every queer identity gets disrespected in fandom and it's something you just kinda have to deal with, but it's easier to notice when it's something you personally relate to. I don't think it would bother me as much if we didn't have that unofficial "respect the canon" rule and everyone just went wild with whatever, but the double standard does genuinely hurt me, especially when I see people I thought were cool about this stuff participating in it. so whenever I see someone fiercely defending an asexual character it really makes me feel good, like I'M being defended, not a random fictional character that I might not even recognize the name of. I feel safe, like that person will respect ME.

THAT BEING SAID,

AS a sex-repulsed aroace person who enjoys thinking about the entire spectrum of intimacy and where a character may fall exactly on that spectrum, ALSO as a person who is aware that "asexual" simply means "does not experience sexual attraction" and not necessarily "is violently repulsed by anything sexual", sometimes I DO want to play out scenarios for my own enjoyment. sometimes I DO want to think hm I wonder where this ace character's line is, compared to a different ace character. I wonder if there is anyone who would be an exception for them, and how they could go about dealing with that exception. I wonder if they're favourable, neutral, or repulsed. if those aspects of their character aren't explicitly stated then what's to stop me from playing around with them and working through my own issues in a controlled and non-canon environment? if they have the same identity as me, I am way more likely to want to play around with them like a doll and perhaps play out scenarios that I might have thought about before but don't actually want to do for real. I'm not taking away their identity, after all; I'm just, in this scenario, imagining this ace character as an ace that might have sex on at least one occasion for whatever reason. either just to try it, or because they do have someone they'd make an exception for, or if they got bored enough, whatever the reason. it isn't quite disrespecting their truth unless it's explicitly stated either in canon or by word of god that it's something they're uncomfortable with. and to be honest, if I see another asexual creator headcanoning a character as somewhere on the asexual spectrum and depicting them in sexual situations, it makes me almost happy, to know that they're still acknowledging that character's canon identity and accepting and exploring the nuance that could come with it, even if I personally believe that this specific character would be repulsed instead of neutral or favourable. there's this understanding of "I'm doing a character study exploration thing", and not "I don't care I just wanna sexualize this character"

but I literally feel GUILTY when I want to write what is essentially a thinkpiece disguised as a fanfiction or original story on asexuality and take an asexual character (canon or coded) and involve them in sexual situations to explore different avenues of the spectrum. I feel like I'm betraying everyone who's like me and is frustrated with how aroace characters are treated within fandom. I'm like "am I being just as bad as those other people who will disrespect a character's canon sexuality just because they think that character is hot and want to ship them with someone? do they do the same thing with other types of queer characters? how does this reflect that person's view of people, if they're explicitly told someone feels a certain way and decides to ignore it for their own amusement? or is it just because they're fictional and not real people and I'm being really sensitive and thinking way too much into it? am I not doing the exact same thing? do I have more credence to explore scenarios like this because I am aroace and sex-repulsed myself and therefore have a pass to do whatever I want and it won't come off as a little weird the way it might if someone who's allosexual did it?"

and these two opinions are at war in my mind constantly. like both of them can and do co-exist but I still struggle to accept that lol

#ramblings #asexuality #I almost kinda wanna make a video on this bc I feel like just writing does not even explain what I'm trying to say

[cod-dump]

Do you have any sexuality headcanons for the characters???

For some. I’m no expert on official labels or whatnot, fair warning

———

Laswell: Lesbian or perhaps bi. Either way I think she started out dating men and had one evening with a woman and went "I'm gay now". Now she has a wife and is happily married. Definitely would sleep with her male friends if circumstances lead to it, but she’s very monogamous and wants her wife only.

Farah: She gives off a very woman loving bi but is dating Alex because he’s not like other guys she’s dealt with. The only other guy she would consider dating is Gaz, but she otherwise considers herself gay. Alex just happens to be the one type of guy she’s attracted to.

Valeria: This woman does not care about the gender of her bedmate. She’s very popular with the ladies and men think they can ‘sway’ her only for her to ruin them. She calls herself gay because she is not attracted to men in a straight way.

Alex: Straight, was so straight until he met Farah. Now he has no idea what he’s attracted to or who, just that suddenly a lot more people are attractive. Farah is his sexual awakening and he has no idea why or what she has done to him.

Ghost: Says he’s gay, proudly. Has slept with women before and will do so if circumstances lead to it, but he’s very gay. Closeted for a long time before he finally felt safe and comfortable enough to be himself.

Soap: Bisexual with a recent awakening. As soon as he realizes he’s attracted to men, he sees hot guys everywhere and is a mess. He’s a mess, can’t handle suddenly being attracted to almost everyone around him.

Gaz: He seems very straight at first but is actually very much pan. Attracted to every gender but just calls himself gay because he has more fun with it. Had an early realization and has had time to find himself and be confident. It’s no doubt he can charm anyone, he has done so unintentionally. No one is safe from his charms.

Price: He’s dated women in his past but he’s very attracted to men. Has had years to get himself together but can be downright embarrassing if he’s on friendly terms with someone he’s attracted to.

Alejandro: Bisexual, equally attracted to any gender. Once in an official relationship he’s loyal to a fault and possessive (in a tolerable manner). If he sees someone he’s attracted to, he’ll say it.

Rudy: Bisexual but leaning towards men. He’s very sweet towards people he’s attracted to but also is a blunt asshole to people he’s not. And when he’s very comfortable with someone he’s attracted to? Blunt asshole who can be a sweetheart.

Nik: He doesn’t care for labels. If he finds someone attractive, he finds them attractive. It’s that simple. He’ll sleep with pretty much anyone regardless of their gender identity. Calls himself gay just to satisfy people when they ask him what his sexuality is.

Graves: Gay with a very recent awakening. Always thought he was ace or aro or both in the beginning because he never was attracted to his women partners. Then he realized he was gay and now he’s insufferable. He understands now, and now he’s trying to get every experience he can as quick as he can.

#call of duty #modern warfare #ask #thanks for the ask <3 #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #john price #kyle gaz garrick #alejandro vargas #rodolfo parra #kate laswell #cod nikolai #farah karim #alex keller #phillip graves #drabble #faralex

[milfbrennan]

bones sexuality headcanons

yeah i dont have proof (except angela) i just Know. call it my lesbian spidey senses. disclaimer that those are MY headcanons, you can have your own opinions on those ofc

main characters:

brennan: bi (preference for ugly men... but i digress). she probably started exploring her sexual orientiation in college and came to the conclusion that she's attracted to every gender to varying degrees. she's probably tongue kissed angela a few times pre season 1

booth: cishet ally! ⭐️ he's a bit confused but he's got the spirit, i'll give him that.. bi wife energy start playing whenever he walks into the room

zack: gayboi with a bad case of hero worship for dr brennan. naomi from paleonthology made him realise this isnt really what he'd like to excavate, if you get the gist... ;) (ew)

angela: imo? bi, but it's up to anyone. canon queer and i'm very happy about it

hodgins: bi. putting my foot down on this one- to me, hodgela is bi4bi. one day early into the series angela goes "why is everyone so hot... being bi is so hard" and hodgins is like "yeah, tell me about it" and they have a Oh, You Too? moment

cam: distinguished (ex-disaster) pan. she's all cool and collected now but in middle school she was probably stuttering whenever she saw a pretty girl

sweets: pan. boykisser. i just KNOW. that man is not heterosexual. probably had a few boyfriends in high school too

aubrey: bi? preference for women but in an alternate universe he and sweets are a thing

goodman: token straightie along with booth except i actually like him even tho even tho he took a 2 month sabbatical and never came back

squinterns:

clark: bi. a bit repressed and only realised it after breaking up with nora but as long as he gets there it's fine

daisy: pan. absolute girlkisser. she has the wlw equivalent of whatever zack felt for dr brennan. swaisy is a disaster pan couple.

fisher: pan- and i wont have it any other way. he was 100% checking sweets out when he came over to b&b's in s8, so i like to think when hodgins asks sweets "what is it with you and interns?" in 9x23 he's including fisher

wendell: bi and in a lab au he's dating vincent thank you

vincent: english twink and i think he and wendell should kiss in the lab lost & found

arastoo: straightie but we still love him. pan wife energy since he and cam are married

finn: god, i have No Idea but i have a feeling he doesn't either

wells: aro, and maybe ace too, but fyi even if he wasn't no one would want him

jessica: ... i used to say lesbian but i kinda let the jaubrey of it all get to me... pan vibes perhaps? i'll have to think it over. in another universe she and daisy are a thing too btw

other characters:

caroline julian:... lesbian. no i will not give an explanation for this one. sham marriage and all.

karen delfs: big pansexual energy coming from this random profiler?? i like her

villains: (do not take those seriously, but also...)

pelant: unlabeled. getting strangled by hodgins awoke something in him but he didnt have the time to figure it out between 8x01 and 9x04

taffet: very VERY mean lesbian

epps: heterosexual incel

broadsky: internalised homophobia over booth, clearly

kovac: the man pretended to be married to his sister. i'm not sure i even wanna know

#am i serious about these? eh. but also kinda. #bonestv #bones tv #temperance brennan #seeley booth #angela montenegro #zack addy #jack hodgins #lance sweets #james aubrey #clark edison #daisy wick #colin fisher #wendell bray #oliver wells #daniel goodman #jessica warren #christopher pelant #howard epps #heather taffet #jacob broadsky #caroline julian #karen delfs #arastoo vaziri #vincent nigela murray #squinterns

[thedeepstate69]

Valorant sexuality nd gender hc’s

I’ve have so many thoughts abt val characters gender istg

(also maybe don’t take this too seriously)

Astra:

Straight but the biggest ally you’ll ever meet

(She/Her)

Breach:

Angry gay

Very cis

Kind of the cool gay uncle

Raze came out to him and he just sat there like??

Breach: Lesbian? I thought you were Portuguese 

Raze: ...Breach I’m Brazilian 

Brimstone:

KJ came out to him and it went smth like:

KJ: Brim i’m gay

Brimstone: Hi gay im brimstone

Straight but he’s for the gays

His pronouns are U/S/A (eagle screech plays in background)

Chamber:

Queer and homophobic in a way only Europeans can be

Cypher:

Bisexual perhaps with a side of genderqueer

Deadlock:

Women lover

A she/they

Would cry over beautiful women

Fade:

They are so nonbinary 

They/She/He Fade is so real to me

Also a women enjoyer just isn’t a fan of labels

Ace spec fr

Gekko:

Green hair nd pronouns

Bisexual

Harbor:

No one really knows???

He’s either very supportive of his bros or is somewhat fruity

Him nd Astra kinda goals ngl

Jett:

Bisexual

Women?

Kay/o:

My boy is made of 1′s nd 0′s i do not think he could care less

Killjoy:

Lesbian

Her gender is science

Neon:

Pansexual

Blue hair nd pronouns fr

My little silly

Omen:

The voices

Phoenix:

I told a friend of mine (who doesnt play val) that phoenix has two mums and she just looked at him and said “he looks like the type” ????

Bisexual but scared of women

Raze:

The biggest women lover 

gender is whats in your pants??? alright *pulls out several explosives*

Reyna:

Lesbian

Men anti 

Sage:

Trans, cottagecore lesbian

Mother???

Skye:

Aro Ace as fuck bro

Sex?? Romance?? nah mate the forest

Her nd dealock r in a queer platonic relationship 

Sova:

*Rubs my hands together evily*

Trans, gay Sova

You can pry this hc from my cold body

Viper:

Transfem

Straight but still anti men

Yoru:

Trans

Homophobic homosexual ngl

Phoenix tries to show any affection nd hes just like >:0 thats gay

Bonus:

Ruben pontes nd Oran McEneff:

Both gay

My actual OTP

I get sad when I think abt them

#valorant #valorant headcanons #astra #brimstone #breach #chamber #cypher #deadlock #fade #gekko #harbor #jett #kay/o #killjoy #neon #omen #phoenix #valorant phoenix #raze #reyna #sage #skye #viper #yoru

[crow-caller]

hiya papaya! my partner and i love your youtube videos, and we recently started a book review podcast focusing on books with queer themes. i wanted to ask if you had any lesser known queer ya book reccs, cuz i'd love to hear about them of so! also, i would love to cover your book at some point and perhaps talk with you about it, but that's future things cuz i don't want to fully ask that when we're only one episode in ourselves. thanks for making such awesome videos!~

I'm a huge huge huge podcast nerd so I may check out yours and would totally love to be on it! I really do despite all appearences spend most of my time gaming while listening to podcasts. Most of those podcasts are old episodes of mbmbam but look, we don't choose our autism.

I so don't do enough reading of NOT bad books in truth. Reading is hard and I take my occasional bad book breaks to read... like random stuff rather than specifically lgbt ya. But digging through my review archives and memory:

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention The Butterfly Assassin series by Finn Longman, which is foremost a spy assassin story set in a closed city but also has (and goes into more later) an aro ace lead character! And a very keen specific focus on close platonic bonds!! Stuff like that always gets passed over talking queer lit because it's not that bombastic I think to go 'there's good friendship here' but honestly so important to me to see books on purpose intentionally highlight platonic bonds as just as important as romantic or sexual. Anyway, great books. Caveat I know the author a bit but like, I am too autistic to hype up a friend's book that I DIDN'T genuinely love.

The aro/ace database is a key friend and work of art.

I think Angels Before Man is very widely known but a very interesting queer angel book!

Valhalla trilogy by Ari Bach is a very fun far future sci fi action fest with norse mythology parallels and dangerous lesbian valkyries

Archangel Protocol series, Lyda Morehouse isn't YA I think. Maybe. The fourth book could be, that one has a teen lead. Anyway, look!!! My fav angel weird sci fi universal unitarian religious 90s cyberpunk series...

I don't think my reccs help much at all here but there you go! I KNOW a lot of indie lgbt books. I just haven't actually read them.... yet......

#I'm a failure of a reader really who writes indie lgbt books but #I mostly read weird pulp on my off time #I'm 20% through harrow the ninth have been for months #next book I'm reading for fun is likely to be about a robot dog or like a ya book for 13 yr old boys #sometimes theres asks

[vodika-vibes]

Ok because these two thoughts I ALWAYS have regarding any sort of Soulmate AU, and feel are very important when creating such AUs.

1. In your MerClone/Soulmate AU…. Where do Ace/Aro folks fit in? Are there strictly platonic soulmates? And if so how does that work out for the pair?

2. What if one of the pair actually falls in love with someone who is NOT their soulmate? Perhaps the human just never lives near the ocean for whatever reason, despite the pull towards it, but ends up having a romantic relationship with another human and lives a life with them? Or what if a Mer just…falls for another Mer? Peoples emotions, hearts, and lives are unpredictable after all. Is it just…incomplete? Like yes the love is real, but it’s not REALLY REAL because they essentially went against destiny.

Hi there!

These are good questions. Sorry it took so long for me to get back to you, because it's only been talked around.

As to your first question. The magic chooses a merpersons mate at birth. And the mate is chosen specifically for them. If the mer is straight, gay, lesbian, or ace, their soul mate will be perfect for them. So yes, there are platonic soul mates. Now yes, traditionally, tail-twisting is the final step to bonding, however a simple touch of the hip, where the scales begin, would be enough to complete the bonding. Most mer go for tail-twisting for the same reason that most married couples have honeymoons. They're horny as fuck, lol.

As to your second question. Yes. A mer could defy destiny and choose to love someone else. However they would never feel fulfilled. They can be happy with their chosen person, they can make a life with them, but it will always feel like something is missing. And their song will never be complete.

I hope these answers help!

#star wars #star wars au #mermaid au #answered asks

[brain-stuck]

what up welcome to brainstuck

were called that because we . Because we are Stuck in th

were a massively introject heavy system of like 26 or some shit and we made this blog to. idk reblog system shit and maybe you guys can interact with us or smth . this blog was the result of a democratic vote so here it is 💯

COLLECTIVE INFO

bodily 22

trans dude, default to he / him

overall aroace. headmate identities heavily impact the Flavoring so were loveless, lovequeer, nonamorous and partnering all at the same time

refer to us as a whole as brainstuck or perhaps bingus. i am serious we will respond to bingus

not endogenic or traumagenic but a secret third thing (nunyagenic) (nunya business)

DISCLAIMER some of us arent white in brain but we are bodily white . we dont claim those identities but we do like learning about those cultures so if you got any cool facts hit us up

the resident shawties

COHOSTS: kyle (irl), xingqiu (discord), dave (tungle)

FREQUENT FRONTERS: tao, shinobu, yoimiya, layla / samira, lynette

OTHER SHAWTIES: bo, john, rose, jade, jane, dirk, jake, luke, aradia, sollux, karkat, feferi, lumine, barbara, keqing, xinyan, kokomi, bronya

LITTLE BITCHES: dimple (<- what we named our intrusive thoughts demon)

click the read more for more info on us individually OK EPIC BYEEEE

KYLE 💤 - Our core Guy. The OG. He / him, trans, aroace. Handles IRL stuff. Professional Sleeper. We are all facets of this guy including This Guy

DAVE 🎧 - @aroacedavestrider and @incorrect-hs-quotes (mod dave). he / him aroace homestuck gang. yallready know whats goin on. cohost

QIU 🌊 - @alegendofsword and @blueboy-mlm. He / him, gay ace, trans. Genshin Gang. Cohost. Name is pronounced “CHYO”. Writer and reader.

BO 📺 - @nosignal-standby. he / it. aroace. nonhuman static entity. voidsona. shoutout to deltaverse. probably a trauma holder.

JADE 🌱 - @gardeniagnostic. she / they demigirl! polyam pan, homestuck gang :) talk to me about hawai’ian culture and green magic!!!

LAYLA / SAMIRA 🌟 - @fantastical-eveningstar. she / her for both of us, two-person subsystem. demiaroace and maybe bi about it ?? genshin gang. astrology nerd

JOHN 👻 - he / him, biro ace, homestuck gang. resident Dissociator™. i’m learning spanish and greek! june egberts can interact if comfortable. :)

ROSE 🐙 - She / It. Demi, sapphic. Bi lesbian, don’t care to figure out which I am specifically. Homestuck gang. Talk to me about crystal magic.

JANE 🎂 - She / He? Bi, some kind of gender going on. Homestuck gang. Not frequently near pilot. Sorry :B

DIRK 🔥 - He / him. Gay, aro, left arm amputee in headspace. Rewatching MLP. Rarity is funnier than I remember. Homestuck Gang.

JAKE 💀 - He / they demiboy quoi-aro and bi! Homestuck gang. Absolutely talk to me about crazy ancient relics and sites. Australian not british!

LUKE 🐦‍⬛ - he / him and bi. kind of a… demonstuck dave…? fucked up davesprite?? idk im borderline an oc at this point. part time protector

ARADIA ♈️ - she / they n0nbinary thang. ar0ace. autistic 0n the beat ab0ut cryptids and urban legends 0u0. h0mestuck gang. name is pr0n0unced “uh-RAY-dee-uh”

SOLLUX ♊️ - he / hiim, biiro ace. iidk much el2e ii ju2t work here. ii play a lot of miinecraft. home2tuck gang

KARKAT ♋️ - HE / HIM, GREY-ARO, PAN AND ACE. VITILIGO NATION RISE UP. FREQUENT FRONTER. HOMESTUCK GANG.

FEFERI ♓️ - S)(e / )(er and pan! Name is pronounced “F-EF-furry”. )(omestuck Gang 38) !! I’m a trauma )(older, actually!

LUMINE ✨ - She / her, lesbian. Genshin Gang, kind of a… splice between Traveler and Abyss Lumine? I was both. I am both. Where is Aether

BARBARA 🎶 - she / her and bi ^^ genshin gang. i love to sing and make playlists for my headmates! kind of a… religious trauma processor??

XINYAN 🎸 - she / they ace lesbian and im the proud token punk rock headmate WOOO!!! genshin gang. send me cool music!! names pronounced “SHIN-yan”

TAO ⚰️ - she / they aroace :) genshin gang ! i collect books full of ghost stories so tell me some if you dare~

KEQING 💫 - She / her, lesbian. Genshin gang. Name is pronounced “KUH-ching”, but I also go by Kit. Let’s call me the… “manifestation of productivity”.

SHINOBU 🗡️ - she / he. not picky. aroace, genshin gang. i also go by “shoby”. protector.

KOKOMI 🐟 - She / her lesbian and Genshin Gang! Qiu and I read a lot of books together and I would be very happy to hear recommendations :)

YOIMIYA 🎆 - she / her demi lesbian genshin gaaaang nice to meet you!!! i’m a… motivator?? lmao?? yeah!!

LYNETTE 🎩 - She / her aroace. Genshin Gang. Call me Nette please. Not much of a talker

BRONYA 🐰 - She / her unsure of what the Bronya is. Bronya likes Seele. The Bronya is newest member of system and does not know what she likes yet. Only Honkai subject as far as the Bronya knows.

DIMPLE - this is our resident “and a half”. hes like our intrusive thoughts brain demon and we all hate him so we made him look like dimple mp100 and we call him shit like “scringle” and “bunkle” and “grinkle”. hes not allowed to talk cause he sucks but if he was wed make him use this 👹 ok epic

THANKS FOR READING THAT WAS MAD LONG ok. 👍

#system intro #intro post #plural system #long post #what else do we tag this as

[enbyleighlines]

LGBTA Headcanons for the Tellius Cast

Now that I’m replaying PoR, I can’t stop thinking about the characters, so here are some LGBTA headcanons:

Ike is gay and also on the ace spectrum. Due to comphet, he doesn’t realize that he experiences attraction to men (however infrequently) until late into the events of Radiant Dawn. I feel like being around a bunch of beast laguz (who I headcanon are more open about sexuality), Ike finally gets a clue.

Soren is gay, and 100% in love with Ike. His entire character arc in PoR is (unintentionally or otherwise) a metaphor for coming out.

Ranulf is bisexual, which I headcanon as being more common among laguz. It’s not necessarily that there is a higher percentage of bisexual people, but there is so little stigma about sexuality that laguz are more likely to be open about their bisexuality.

Kieran is definitely gay, though I doubt he understands it. He is misinterpreting his feelings for Oscar, like that meme about sending a letter to a girl you have a crush on to tell her to leave your school. In fact, Oscar probably figures out Kieran’s true feelings before Kieran does. He is deep in denial.

Oscar is bisexual, though not open about it. He put his entire life on hold to look after his brothers, so he’s definitely not even looking for romance in the events in PoR. And while he bonds with Kieran in PoR, I don’t think it’s until RD that Oscar’s feelings turn romantic. I like to imagine that, post-RD, when Oscar re-enlists in the army, he finally confesses to Kieran.

Nephenee is a lesbian, but suffering from comphet just as badly as Ike. It’s not even until she meets Heather that she realizes that girls can like other girls, and that opens up a whole can of worms for Nephenee. It takes her a long time to untangle her thoughts, but post-RD, Heather and Nephenee return to Ohma, and live out their sapphic dreams of living on a farm with their dozens of rescue animals.

Mia is aro/ace. She may be a romantic, but only in the sense that she dreams of being a dashing hero, going on adventures, and having epic duels at dawn with a fated rival. She has never been interested in dating or marriage, and doesn’t understand why everyone else cares about it so much. But she tries her best to be supportive, nonetheless!

Tibarn is bisexual, and Reyson is gay. I imagine that their feelings for each other have remained mostly unspoken by the start of PoR. Perhaps they are reluctant to bridge the gap, unsure of how it will affect their friendship. By RD, however, they are 100% sharing a bed, in love and not at all secretive about it. I like to think that seeing them together was the beginning of Ike’s gay awakening. At first, he’s confused why they are sharing a tent, and he asks Ranulf, who is just like. Is that a joke? And Ike gets his first lesson on sexuality!

Sigrun and Tanith are in a relationship by the start of PoR. In the beginning, Sigrun was a person Tanith greatly admired, aspiring to be as strong as her. Once they began looking after Sanaki together, romance between them blossomed, though due to their positions, they have to keep it private. (Plus, I doubt Begnion is super queer-friendly.)

Lucia is a gallant, charming woman, and I imagine that she has many admirers of all genders. Lucia herself is bisexual, but she is married to her job above all else, and doesn’t have relationships that last longer than a few months. She becomes Melior’s foremost serial heartbreaker.

This post is getting super long and I am getting tired, but I may continue this at another point. I clearly hold too many LGBTA headcanons…

#tellius

[thefirstknife]

have you seen the biphobia going around about eris? its super fucking gross

Sorry, forgot about this ask in the middle of all the other stuff that's been going on. If I understand it correctly, this is about the ongoing discourse about the ship between Eris and Drifter. I'll go a bit in depth about this because it's been gaining traction recently.

I've definitely seen some biphobic sentiments, yeah. People are really weird when it comes to bisexuality and this fandom is not any different, unfortunately.

The thing to remember, however, is that there is no canon for Eris' sexuality. There is a lot of speculation, but she has never been confirmed as any sexuality. I personally believe she must be some form of wlw, due to the sheer amount of her close relationships with women; Ikora, Mara, Sai Mota, Eriana-3, the Awoken in general (who are a matriarchal society) and so on.

A post with some details on this + links to other posts about it. Not linked here, but this has been further explored in the Witch Queen Collector's Edition book where Eris explicitly says she felt an "emotional debt" to Mara, that they had some tensions in their relationship that "remained private," and that when Eris was wounded, Mara "treated the wounds in what I interpolate was a moment of reconciliation and perhaps genuine tenderness between them."

I find it hard to believe that Eris is not wlw. However, that could mean many things. She could be a lesbian, she could be bisexual/pansexual, she could be ace or aro or both with a preference for women, or biromantic or... You get the idea. We ultimately have no idea and we're only left with speculation.

More under for length:

Some people insist that she must be a lesbian and only a lesbian and that any other interpretation is wrong. I disagree with this! There are so many other options that people should be allowed to explore and we shouldn't insist that she is canonically and objectively one thing when we don't really know. Until there is an unambiguous canonical proof for her sexuality, everyone should be allowed to HC her as they please, as long as they're not entirely erasing her closeness with women.

The same applies for people insisting that she is canonically bisexual. We don't know! I see her as bisexual (mostly because she's my blorbo and I see my blorbos as bisexual). I don't have any hard proof that she is and neither does anyone else. Canon doesn't say either way.

While some people tend to have a visceral reaction to the possibility of her being bi which I would definitely classify as some form of biphobia, there's a difference between people just being biphobic and people expressing their disdain for how Eris' in-game interactions are now largely revolving around men.

As I've said above, Eris has always had incredibly important and close relationships with women. It doesn't matter which type of a relationship they are (platonic, romantic, queerplatonic). Eris has always been heavily surrounded with other women and relied on mostly women with her interactions. Some people are reasonably upset that this has been slightly pushed aside in favour of Eris interacting more with Drifter and Crow and Zavala, rather than women.

She wasn't present at all in Season of the Lost which Bungie explained as them being limited with how many characters can be active in a given season. This is reasonable to me, someone will have to be cut. I do think that cutting Eris from Lost was a mistake however, and that they should've at least kept some of her content in lore, if not in gameplay and cutscenes. It was one of the most crucial turning points that involved her long-time antagonist (Savathun), her long-time friend (Mara) and the people she feels closely connected with (the Awoken).

In Witch Queen, Eris was there, but her appearance was fairly limited and didn't involve a lot of interactions with Ikora, which is odd. Mara showed up again and had no interactions with Eris, again. Eris was mostly interacting with Zavala and Crow and, finally, Drifter who by far gets the most screentime with Eris and has been getting it since Arrivals.

From what I've seen, people are mostly upset about this sudden shift with Eris being mostly paired up with men in lore and gameplay, while her ties to women are either cut entirely, reduced significantly or kept for special lore pieces and then not brought up again for an extended period of time. I've not seen many instances of people just vehemently disagreeing that Eris should never be with a man and that it's impossible for her to be bisexual. Even if she is bisexual, her relationships with women should still matter and not be pushed aside.

Another thing that people have an issue with (me included) is the way some of her lore with Drifter is presented. I don't mind if the plan is for them to be romantically involved. I would be more than happy if my two faves were both bi and were together. The problem I (and others) have is that there's been significant backtracking in the lore between Eris and Drifter since they first interacted in Arrivals.

In Arrivals, they first meet when Drifter is ready to pack and leave the system due to the Pyramids arriving. He always said that it was what he would do when the Darkness comes knocking again. He has always been adamant about being ready to skip town when the main threat returns. Drifter is notoriously afraid of everything and traumatised. He was 100% ready to leave. Until Eris came to ask for his help.

The two sit. They speak. They listen. Linkages forged in Light and Dark of traded secrets as the Derelict hangs in orbit around the Earth. Pacts are made. Soon, there is only the silence of knowing left between them.

They connect. Deeply. They share incomprehensible traumas that have been going on for centuries and they're both people others distrust because of how close they are to Darkness, despite their best efforts to use that closeness to help.

Obviously, since it's their first time working together, things weren't smooth. They sometimes annoyed each other. Contact event dialogues from Arrivals and Prophecy dialogues often had them bickering over their different methods and approach to the threat; Eris is serious, Drifter tries to deflect with humor. It annoys her that he's joking, it annoys him that she is constantly doom and gloom. This makes sense, since it's their first time working together. It takes time to adjust.

In Beyond Light, they work together again and things are smoother between them. They still have their differences, but Eris admits that he is a good ally, a valuable member of the team, that his perspective brings a lot to the table and that they both understand the need for balance. Again, this makes sense. They've worked together for months at this point.

We don't hear from them a lot in the meantime, but we do get some minor hints. For example, Eris seems to have picked up on Drifter's habit to end sentences with "Trust." This would imply that they kept on communicating and that they've been friendly.

It's very strange when they get the spotlight again in Season of the Haunted and they are... bickering again. I thought they moved past that for the most part? It's been 2 years! In the Eidolon Pursuant set, Eris is uncharacteristically distrustful of Drifter, a man whose help she bet on to save the system from both Savathun's interferences and the Darkness itself. She even believed that Drifter would feed her rotted screebs, for some reason, despite the fact that they must've shared meals while working together on Europa. She is surprised when he tells her he wouldn't do that to her and that he is a good cook. She would've reasonably known this?

In this season, they've been bickering again on comms in a very childish way. They keep calling each other derogatory nicknames, despite knowing the other doesn't like them. Their relationship tends to jump all over the place from deep respect to childish bickering and back. It can be jarring. In comparison with the first lore I linked (Whispering Slab), it's so incredibly odd to hear Drifter mocking Eris for "calling him" when she is literally just speaking on a public communication.

Drifter simply isn't like this? And it shows in the lore tab from the seasonal lore book, titled "TRUST" as a callback to Drifter's catchphrase which Eris picked up on. He respects and trusts Eris. He is comfortable around her and minor jokes at his expense (and at hers!) are fine. He respects her space and her orders. He also thought of her and her expertise first to help them with relics.

I appreciate this type of an interaction that makes sense with how long they've been working together. It also makes sense with their personalities; Drifter really isn't the type to continue aggravating someone he respects and Eris isn't the one to tolerate someone being openly aggravating to her. She very clearly disliked Cayde for how he acted with her and she never backed down from her disdain. Drifter is similar in that he tends to use (and overuse) humor to deflect from his pain and trauma, but he doesn't do so when the other person is someone he likes and respects. He is especially not like that in private settings.

A lot of people dislike the way Drifter and Eris sometimes act like the classic trope of a toxic m/f relationship where they have to tease and hate each other because they're actually in love. It's immature and goes against their characterisation. I completely understand people who dislike the ship because this dynamic is being presented in lore sometimes and very often in fandom. That dislike is not inherently biphobic and it has merits especially when lore also cuts all of Eris' relationships with women in order to put Drifter in the center and have him being mean to her. It just makes no sense that Drifter would do this and that Eris would tolerate it. And it also makes no sense that she would ignore her close connections with Ikora or Mara in order to spend time with a man who is mean to her.

However, sometimes people go too far with it and instead of criticising these aspects, they simply criticise the idea of Eris liking a man. Even if their reasons are all I've mentioned above, the way a critique is framed can make a difference between that critique being reasonable or biphobic. Eris can like whoever she wants and her relationships with women aren't less valuable if she likes a man as well.

I definitely wanted to make a comprehensive post about the issue because some of the criticisms of this relationship are valid, especially when that relationship comes at the expense of us not getting more lore on a much more established friendships and relationships in general that Eris has with female characters. I think people wouldn't mind the focus on her and Drifter in the lore if we also got some new lore of her and Mara or Ikora.

It's important to understand what aspect of this people have a problem with, because for the most part, it's NOT simply about Eris possibly being bisexual. But also, people should be careful with how they phrase these criticisms because it can definitely be read as biphobia.

#destiny 2 #eris #drifter #long post #ask #me when i get an ask: is this a good opportunity to write an essay? well yes of course #i've seen a lot of stuff on this tho so it bears being repeated #we don't have any canon on what is eris' sexuality so everybody can only have their headcanons #please don't claim she is only one or only the other. we don't know. #some people see her as a lesbian and some see her as bisexual. until we know more there's no way to tell. #there are also legitimate reasons to dislike the direction of drifteris. but also please be mindful of how those reasons are worded #there's a LOT of stuff around where bisexual people in m/f relationships are seen as 'lesser' in lgbt+ circles #and it's just gross. not to mention that drifter is actually legit bi/pan #so if eris is too they are bi4bi #but also bungie pls write them normally. we don't need the childish bickering to prove a man and a woman might like each other #being mean to one another is not attractive. also get rid of the slur

[explorationsoftheid]

I’ve been hearing a common thread running through many different communities. X is not black and white, not a yes/no on or off switch, it’s a spectrum of behaviours. Whether its the autistic community, or the aro/ace community or trans, gay, lesbian, adhd, bipolar, or a dozen other communities I encounter, I hear the same refrain. My group is part of a spectrum, we are not all alike. Just because your friend who’s X acts one way, it doesn’t mean that I will.

Perhaps this is a clue that everything in human experience is a bit grey, a bit fuzzy. That we shouldn’t ever assume that anyone is going to fit some stereotype, or be just like someone with a similar description. Not all people of African descent will be the same. Not all First Nations people will be the same. Not all muslims or christians or jews will be the same. No one that’s part if the lgbtq+ community will necessarily be like any other. Neurodivergent people are all individuals. People with physical disabilities are all unique. Gen X, Y, Z, and Millennials are all different from others in their cohort. The same goes for boomers too. EVEN PEOPLE NAMED KAREN, are not all the same. We are all the unique products of our intrinsic traits and our upbringing. No one has the same history.

So, how about we all stop profiling each other? We need to get to know each other before passing judgement. Because after all, when people encounter us, don’t we want them to treat us as individuals, not as a one size fits all label?

#autistic adult #autistic community #neurodivergent #lgbtq+ #actually autistic #disabled community #christian #jewish #atheist #muslim #gen xers #millennials #boomers

[subterra-rose]

Some general TOH HCs which may or may not be canon at this point

Luz

Height: 5’6

Birthday: Nov. 18th

Bi genderqueer

Misc: Loves doing those taste tolerance challenges / Her best subjects back home were biology and english, on the Boiling Isles her grades are all pretty similar, but she does slightly better in potions and beast-keeping / Would LARP but lacked the friends to do so until now. You KNOW she would’ve rp’d warrior cats on the playground / Into taxidermy art but sometimes doesn't have the patience / Her and Manny shared a lot of similar interests / She used to have a cat when she was younger, but once Manny got sick they didn't get another due to stress and lack of time / Helped Vee with school once she got back / has 1000 wips for books and comics / Camila and her / plans so many sappy dates with Amity only to find out Amit has done the same, just slightly before her

Eda

Height: 6’1

Birthday: Mar. 26th

Bi

Misc: Chose the potions track because of Lilith / Hates to admit it but her parenting style is reminiscent of Gwen’s before she was cursed / Has probably talked a few scouts out of leaving the EC. She has a lot of sympathy for the younger ones / She’s enchanted half of the stuff in the Owl House to clean itself but she actually kind of enjoys folding laundry. It’s very mind numbing / She only started treating King more like a roommate rather than a child to prove a point to him / She HATES spices except for ones that go in desserts / She has taken apart a Crystal ball and then neglected to put it back together because “she’ll figure it out later” (a lie perhaps) / managed to hotwire a car in the human realm, promptly crashed it into a pole, and stole a bunch of parts to sell

Lilith

Height: 6’0.5

Birthday: Sept. 18th

Trans aro ace

Misc: Also hates garlic / Has tons of friends in and outside of the coven. She just gives off loner vibes / In addition to be a history nerd, also enjoys linguistics and theoretical math / Her and Hooty joke about get besties tattoos / Feels a lot of guilt about her family and blames herself for the dynamics that resulted / loves puzzle games or anything that makes her have to think tactically

Willow

Height: 5’5

Birthday: May. 15th

Bi aspec demigirl

Misc: Is a very logical person but her competitiveness sometimes gets in the way / Goes on walks with Clover nightly. Gus and Hunter join them sometimes / has a bit of an interest in potions, especially if it involves plants in some way / Her and her dad plan family nights at least once a month where they sit down and play games or watch movies

Gus

Height: 4’10/5’3

Birthday: Oct. 6th

Bi

Misc: throws the best surprise parties / plays hide and seek with Emmiline constantly. As a result, he’s the master of sneaking up on people / 90% of the speculative guesses he has about Earth flora and fauna are surprisingly right / He would be so into hoverboarding you don’t even understand

Amity

Height: 5’7

Birthday: July. 7th

Trans lesbian

Misc: Is way more impulsive than you would initially think / Kind of slow when she’s allowed to take her time/isn’t under pressure / Goes through periods where she’s really close to Ed and Em then pushes them away / Boscha overestimated the friendship they had, but her relationships with Skara and the rest of them were significantly better (not the best, but. Better) / she made Luz an AMV for their 6 month anniversary / Very practical with her clothing. She feels she needs to be prepared lmao

Hunter

Height: 5’8

Birthday: Sept. 2nd

Bi genderqueer

Misc: Strikes me as someone who changes who they want to be and what they want at least once a year. It takes him a little while to figure out what he wants to do / Can cook a little / Gets into debates with Luz about which of their interests are better / Fixates HARD. He could finish a book in a day and tell you all the details forwards and back if he was interested/ Gus is his #1 cosplay buddy / starts collecting cardinal items for Flapjack /

Raine

Height: 5’9-10

Birthday: Jan. 21st

Sapphic nonbinary

Misc: They have a good relationship with their parents and visit them whenever they can / they buy little trinkets that remind them of Eda post-breakup / They were hesitant to take the head witch position / Although they have stage fright, they’re not really shy. Raine can be quite charismatic and tactful / Eda and them used to bug Lilith when she joined the Emperor’s coven, especially when she was a scout / Would help Luz with learning an instrument if she wanted

Belos

Height: 6’2/6’8-7’2

Birthday: Jan. 9th

Whatever’s funniest in the moment baybee (biaro agender usually)

Misc: I think back home the townsfolk marginally preferred Philip over Caleb just because as a child he was eager to please. They thought they were both kind of odd / Despite being very devout, has a lot of interest in literature that critiques religion and the occult just so he can analyze it / When the first grimwalker failed/betrayed him, it sent him into a brief spiral where he wondered if he was doing the right thing (you KNOW he wasn’t) / Idolized Caleb a lot as a child / made a penstagram account once to see what people were saying about him incognito but got overwhelmed and never touched a scroll again

Caleb

Height: 5’11

Misc: The townsfolk didn’t really care all that much when he left / Him and Evelyn met in secret for about 2-3 years before he finally decided to leave / He was an immigrant but Philip was born once the family settled. Him and Philip came to Gravesfield when they were like 11 and 6 respectively / He was kind of a jack of all trades and knew a little bit of everything / Very smart but gave up a lot of opportunity for formal education to care for his brother

#texting my patience #the owl house #toh hcs #sorry to tag it’s more just so I can find this later #these are a couple months old at this point lmao

[redheadbigshoes]

Hey this is gonna be a long ask but I am In The Struggles

I've been questioning myself for a long time and sometimes feel like maybe I relate to the "you're not attracted to men, you just think they're attractive" phenom and as silly as it is, it makes me really upset to think abt losing the feeling of being appreciated and cared for and cherished that I'd have when thinking about fictional guys, which I know is stupid.

And I also feel upset about having to date girls but I feel like I have to because "well they're the only ones you feel real sexual attraction towards cuz your feelings for men are fake so you should stop avoiding it" but the idea of having a real girl around all the time just talking and being a whole person and dating instead of just being a sexy archetype who disappears when they're not needed makes me uncomfortable and want to cry

Even when I had a crush on a girl in highschool (she was the first girl I'd ever been friends with who didn't make me feel judged or less than or like I didn't belong), every time I was around her after I realised, I had a panic attack and couldn't breathe. I tried dating and I couldn't/didn't want to do it and told myself I should try to kiss her because that's what crushes do, but I didn't want to.

Sometimes I'll be out in public and see this or that attractive feature on a girl and get really flustered and I'll just feel miserable amd physically awful, like I'm an out of control animal being overwhelmed and like I'm not a person anymore and wishing I could go back to seeing women as just patterns in the wallpaper and get on with my day instead of.... this.

Or a girl will be really sweet and nice to me unexpectedly and I'll suddenly feel like I'm having a crush even if I don't think they're physically attractive

And it makes me miserable thinking that I'm never going to feel normal and just have regular, supportive female friendships because there's always going to be an attraction element in queer friendships ruining my interactions with women or feeling like I inherently dont belong in environments with het women

Thinking about ID'ing as lesbian and only ever being able to think about being with women ever again and suddenly having to think about and admire women when I never really cared before or fantasized about dating or kissing them and having to consume lesbian media makes me feel so trapped and limited so like

I don't know what to do

Hii. I am going to answer you in parts so I can make sure I will respond everything you said.

That feeling you talked about when it comes to fictional guys, don’t you have that when thinking about women (fictional or not)? If you end up realizing you’re actually not attracted to men you ain’t losing anything. Do you feel like you need to know if you’re into men or not? Because you don’t need to figure yourself out if you don’t want to, you could just keep living the way you are if that doesn’t bother you.

You don’t have to date anyone if you don’t want to. Regardless if you’re into girls you still don’t need to date one. From what you said you might be overthinking about dating and that is making you anxious when you try thinking about it. Dating isn’t supposed to be uncomfortable, it isn’t supposed to make you feel anxious.

How is it when you said sometimes a girl being nice to you makes you feel like you’re having a crush? Do you actually feel said crush or you just automatically think something like “what if I had a crush on that girl” and that thought becomes persistent?

Have you tried looking up ace/arospec labels? I would take a look if I were you, you could be in the aro or ace spectrum.

You don’t need to identify with any label if that’s making you feel this. If the lesbian label makes you feel restricted, makes you feel limited, perhaps it’s simply not the right label for you and that’s okay.

#stephanie answers #garnetgh0st #long post

[proseka-headcanons]

it was a headcanons blog but it wasn't a pjsk headcanons blog it was a bllk headcanons blog 😭😭😭

uh but this is what i sent because i guess the askbox is open (it's p long)

transneutral aceflux lesbian ichika, aroaceflux pan tgirl saki, transmasc bigender aroace shiho, transfem greyro lesbian honami, leoni qpr (qpr/need, perhaps?)

tgirl ace lesbian minori, omniromantic ace enby haruka, transfem aroace airi, transfem enby aro lesbian shizuku. romantic harumino, qpr shizuairi

transfem aceflexible panro kohane, cis aroaceflux lesbian an, tboy aroflux gay akito, trans demiboy biro gay toya. anhane + akitoya often unintentionally go on double dates.

transneutral tboy aroflux bi tsukasa, tgirl aroace emu, aroaceflux gay enby rui, aroace tboy nene

agender aroflux lesbian kanade, genderfluid aro lesbian mafuyu, cis aroace ena, (evil) transfem nonbinary aroace mizuki

Sorry we took so long to answer we were waiting to send it till pride month /silly

#proseka headcanons #project sekai #prsk #project sekai colorful stage #prosekai #project sekai headcanons #pjsk #mod minori

[winderlylandchime]

I love logging onto tumblr to learn that we are now discovering that Randy is poly and has a fun little podcast where he is outgoing and fun. Been a fan of that man since 2010 and in a span of a day, I learned more about him from a 40 minute podcast than I ever did before from all interviews and other stuff I ever saw with him in it. And now I have a lot of thoughts and feelings. I just realized that I actually can’t remember if i saw the podcast stuff from you or one of your mutuals omg, this is embarrassing, sorry if this is random and i got it all mixed up

Hello dear sweet anon!

I was posting about Randy’s podcast yesterday, but I didn’t start the ripple through the fandom. And I haven’t yet listened to any other episodes beyond the Poly Pocket episode (I will though!). I have so many thoughts, so buckle in.

First off, Randy’s voice is… idk it’s a little different from Justin’s. Which makes sense because he’s 20+ years older. But his voice sounds so so much like my friend’s voice. My friend who happens to be in an open marriage (like with hookups and boyfriends). So it was wild to hear him talk about things both pop culture and queer culture and relationships with many of the same opinion’s my friend has (also, just realized my friend’s initials are JT). I would love to get coffee with Randy and talk to him about drag race, I hope when I listen to other episodes I get to hear more of his hot takes on it.

Anyway, I adore Randy and Jordan’s opinions about monogamy and non-monogamy. As @phil-lester-is-my-sunshine has said Randy is so Brian Kinney-coded. His rejection of compulsory heteronormativity and all the trappings that go along with it (putting a romantic relationship above and beyond all other relationships, the need to get married, etc) and the idea that one should sacrifice oneself for a romantic relationship, I absolutely agree with. I thought it was interesting how both of them discussed how not having sex education (in the US) discuss sex beyond procreation in the context of hetero relationships and that created space for them as queer men to have a more analytical and nuanced approach to sex and relationships, I think is very true. Speaking as someone in a queer relationship (and previously in relationships that as a cisgender femme presenting woman were perceived as straight) I can speak to how much more freedom I have felt with my current partner/spouse to create a relationship that works for us compared with previous partners/spouse.

That said, I felt the conversation, while acknowledging differences for women (the pressure society places on us to be married and have children), didn’t fully take into account the experiences of *queer* women, where the expectations that are placed on women in relationships with men are sometimes the same and sometimes different but ultimately involve people who have consciously rejected heteronormativity. And, look, I’m glad that Randy and Jordan did not presume to speak for queer women (hi, Trixie and Katya, I adore you but your takes on lesbians during the I Like to Watch: Ultimatum Queer Love were not it).

I have found that lesbians/queer women/queer nonbinary afab folks are more open to non-monogamy than straight women (and I’m not talking about bisexual women in relationships with men, they are not straight). But it often doesn’t look like Brian and Justin going out and sleeping with a different trick every night. When Randy and Jordan spoke about the importance of platonic relationships (and YES THIS because our ace/aro siblings are a part of our community), I see often that queer women (as a shorthand for the identities listed above) have far closer and more intimate relationships with each other than straight women. There’s also less jealousy about being friends with exes, in my experience (and there’s some research to back this up). I don’t see as much (as much, so not zero) open relationships around sex as perhaps among gay men. Maybe that has to do with women being subjected to hormonal shifts through the “month” (loosely defined, for menstruating women) that impact our interest in sex and several days during the month (for menstruating women) when,frankly, I don’t want anyone touching my body because I’m in pain. Maybe that’s because sex with partners who each have a vulva is like… well one person I know described it as being on single-camera shoot and sex when (at least) one partner has a penis is more like a multi-camera shoot. That’s a very Hollywood analogy but there ya go. I don’t know. I do know that my spouse and I are sexually exclusive but that has far more to do with laziness and tiredness and chronic illnesses than a stance on sexual exclusivity. I also know that we more freely talk about people whom we find attractive than I see happening with my straight partnered friends. I don’t have any ex-girlfriends but my spouse does and I’m friends with many of them. I know that our concerns about being physically close with friends (sharing kisses, cuddles, etc) are nonexistent compared with the straight friends I have. I do know that when we have spoken about the future with our close friends, we talk about moving into a compound together and living as a large family. I also know that lesbians are known for falling fast and falling hard emotionally (aforementioned Ultimatum Queer Love - c’mon lesbians are MADE for reality tv dating shows, who else is falling in love in 3 weeks?) and that doesn’t always include sex. So the emotional intimacy of friendships has a large overlap with the emotional intimacy of our romantic relationships.

I hope that all makes sense.

I love Randy’s triad (they’re raising a kid together!) for him. I love Jordan’s open romantic relationship for him. I love their discussion about relationships. I just wish there had been even a teensy tiny acknowledgment that queer women may have experiences and thoughts about relationships that align with neither queer men nor straight women. That’s all.

Fun fact: there was a brief (very brief, trauma-induced) period where my spouse and I seriously considered having a child. Our friend (JT) was the only person we wanted as the sperm donor. And, when we discussed it with him, we talked about him moving in with us and all three of us raising the kid together. We would not have all three had a sexual relationship, of course, but we would have been a triad emotionally. Obviously, that did not come to fruition. But had I had a kid, I would have wanted no fewer than three parents. Per child. And this is, perhaps, why it was wonderful that I chose to not have kids.

#dear sweet anon #ask winderlylandchime #randy harrison #jordan barbour #queeranon podcast #queer as folk