i want to go stargazing…stargazing that would just end up with me marveling over how beautiful you are the entire time while you keep looking up at the stars
A soft, little space where I can feel safe, warm and held - snuggled up to my soulmate, being all cozy and fuzzy. She would wrap her arms around me whole, and I'd murmur "teddy bear..." softly, making her smile sweetly. We would reassure and cradle each other, whispering sweet nothings. Huddled up under a pile of blankets in our bed. "you're so adorable..." she cooed, and I cuddled into her closer, mumbling happily. I was at home.
Sometimes we look at the moon together. She holds me from behind and i feel her warmth on my back as i gaze into the soft orb that illuminates the sky. Her soft touch as she rests her chin on the top of my head, and I settle into her grasp and we stand for who knows how long. The stars glimmer and I occasionally feel as if one would implode if we were to detatch from one another.
She has kissed me under the moon many a time, so much so that when we happen to be apart and i look into the heavens, i may taste her upon my own lips. Smell her in my memories and hear her voice as if she were with me.
She told me once that the moon reminded her of myself. I sighed happily andsettled in to cuddle her for hours. The moon will always hold a piece of me, and now it will always hold a piece of us, as one. I wonder often how many couples have deemed the moon their holder, their legacy, as they pass on. Does one singular love live in the moon, reincarnated every lifetime with a new pairing? The world seems so small when she holds me, and we watch the moon together.
what do you mean i have to talk to women in order to date one? ... can't they... like, smell the queerness off me? IS THE WAY I DRESS NOT A INDICATOR?!?!?!
sexuality is weird and annoying and i hate it. for five years now i’ve been saying i’m a lesbian just because it was easier than trying to explain how i actually feel. it is so much easier than saying:
“i’m attracted to girls and guys, basically any girl that breathes but only a very specific type of guy, you know the ones who look so intimidating, are kind of scrawny, have tattoos and messy hair but are actually just big softies. but the thing is i have no romantic attraction or feelings towards guys, i know for a fact i will never marry a guy or even date a guy, i don’t feel anything of that nature towards them. so i guess that means i’m aromatic…but i’m not. i’m not because my crushes on girls are deeper than just sexual attraction like it is for guys. for girls when i have a crush i know that i want to spend the rest of my life with that girl, that i want to have a family with her, that i want to be there for her when she’s upset and take care of her when she’s sick. so i guess i’m bisexual and aromatic towards guys…i guess even though my sexual attraction towards guys is very rare since my type when it comes to guys is so specific and i rarely see that type of guy walking around where i live.”
it’s a mouthful and confusing so i just say i’m a lesbian. i say i’m a lesbian and since i’m only romantically attracted to women it works out fine. it works out fine until there’s a guy i have sexual feelings for and i can’t tell anyone or act on it because it’ll look like i’ve been lying about being a lesbian…which i mean technically i have but i don’t want to have to explain myself and get confused looks from everyone.
sexuality is weird and annoying and i hate it and why does everyone have to make it this big thing when it really isn’t.