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aspenwritesstuff · 1 year

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Part Five - Bitter

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"To Felix, seeing you like this rather than how you usually present yourself was like being offered two slices of cake made up with the same ingredients, simply decorated differently." "He simply couldn’t pick one over the other."

🌹warnings: borderline cheating mention, embarrassing interactions between friends, alcohol (casual mention, though hinted at as a potential coping mechanism), intimidation as abuse (merits is grabbed), verbal abuse/name calling, general angst, unprocessed rage and unresolved trauma, general anxiety

🌹w/c: 7.5k

🌹a/n: Not only have I returned with an update on Prove Me Wrong (and our beloved Sunshine boy), but wowee I was NOT skimping on the heavier topics/angst this go around. I hope that despite it being not as lighthearted of a chapter, that you still enjoy this update. We’ll return to our regularly scheduled sweetness eventually. Promise.

I also couldn’t help but include bestie Jisung more in this chapter because I’ve lowkey been neglecting this lil rascal. xoxo -Aspen

Lee Felix, twenty-three year old bartender with a smile full of sunshine and a heart made of gold, had carried you to bed last night.

And, as expected, your best friend had not shut up about it all morning.

“I was not drooling!” Your squealed, landing a firm smack to Jisung’s arm - though, despite the force with which you’d struck him, his shoulders still shook with laughter.

“You definitely were,” he managed between gasps, his eyes wrinkled shut as he threw his head back, “I can text Felix right now and ask him if his shoulder was wet?”

“Don’t you dare,” you warned, burying your reddened cheeks in your hands.

Jisung hadn’t stopped teasing you about your unexpected slumber - or the subsequent events - from the moment you’d woken up. You groaned as he continued cackling next to you on the couch, tears welling in his eyes from just how funny he’d found the entire situation.

The humor, however, was lost on you as your skin flushed deeper into a concerning shade of crimson.

“Fine, fine,” Jisung said, still grinning from ear to ear as he waved his hands in front of himself, signaling his temporary surrender, “But you were definitely drooling.”

“Shut up,” you grumbled, rubbing your heated cheeks in an attempt to urge them back into their former, pre-Jisung fueled embarassment shade.

He chuckled again, winking as he stood up to fill a mug of coffee and leaving you alone on the couch - a frustrated pout on your lips. You sighed as you planted your chin atop your palm, elbow on the armrest, and Felix on your mind.

Had he really carried you up to the apartment as Jisung had claimed? You weren’t sure what all was true of his recollection or how much was simply an exaggeration at your expense. You should probably thank Felix, regardless of how you’d gotten into the apartment, after he’d managed to handle your unconsciousness with a gentleness that never once roused you.

Though you were a bit too ashamed at the prospect of the potentially true, humiliating contents of the latter half of your evening.

It wasn’t too terrible, though - at least, from what you remembered before your little catnap, things had gone well for Felix and Ryujin.

There it was, your opening. The way to reach out without being completely awkward. You pulled out your phone, shooting Felix a quick text to ask if he’d heard from her yet.

As you waited for a response, Jisung returned with a steaming mug of coffee - with an added splash of cream, just as you liked it - holding it out to you carefully with both hands. “Peace offering,” he explained as you took it from him, rolling your eyes as you read the statement on the side.

World’s Okayest Author.

It had been yet another gag gift from Jisung after you’d initially discovered your love for cringey, cheesy statements on ceramic cups.

“You’re lucky I love you, you know that right?” you murmured, raising the slightly-bitter drink to your lips before sipping it slowly.

Jisung beamed, obviously doubting that you’d ever stop loving him at this point, “Yes, I’m so unbelievably lucky my beautiful, smart, clever, best friend who definitely drooled on Felix’s shoulder loves me.”

Coffee got caught in your throat, sending you into a coughing fit as you held the mug out for Jisung to grab. He did quickly, shifting from poking fun to fussing over you in an instant.

“Breathe!” he commanded, his brows shooting up high enough to be obscured by his bangs. He set the mug down on the table in a rush, patting your back as though you were a baby that needed burped.

“Jesus, Ji,” you sputtered, residual throat-clearing interrupting your words as you slammed your fist against your sternum, “Peace offering, my ass.”

“I’m sorry!” he whined, firm taps shifting into gentle circles being rubbed between your shoulders, “It was just right there, I had to!”

“Had to?” you croaked, swallowing hard to soothe the sudden scratchiness your choking episode has caused.

“C’mon, sweets,” he pleaded, “If I were the butt of these jokes you’d still be laughing.”

You hated just how true, and just how fair his statement was.

With a disapproving shake of your head, you let out a long sigh in lieu of an answer. Jisung simply grinned before singsonging out a satisfied, “I knew it,” placing the mug back into your hands and ignoring the daggers you shot his way.

You shook your head, saved from admitting defeat by the chime of your phone. You picked it up with one hand, the other holding your mug to your lips as you took a long sip and relished in the way it soothed the irritation from your near-suffocation.

Felix☀️: yeah, she messaged me to ask if i’d gotten home alright!

Felix☀️: i told her i did and then we said goodnight.

Felix☀️: wait…should i have done that? did i mess that up?

You couldn’t help the affectionate laugh that escaped your lips, Felix’s doe-eyed expression of panic materializing so vividly in your mind that you barely even noticed Jisung announcing he’d be right back.

You shot him a small wave, still smiling as you replied quickly to the messages, hoping to avert the crisis that was a spiraling Lee Felix.

You: Felix, deep breath. It’s fine, goodnight is definitely not dealbreaker.

The three dots appearing and disappearing as the spirited boy second, third, and fourth guessed himself had become something of a signature in your conversations - evoking a certain fondness - completely certain he was chewing his lip and running his hand repeatedly through his fluffy, blonde locks. You: Whatever it is, you can just say it Felix.

The dots disappeared one final time, before waving along for a solid thirty seconds. You felt your shoulders sink as you read his words, feeling every shred of your dignity evacuate your being.

Felix☀️: did you sleep alright?

Felix☀️: sounded like a rough dream for a bit there

Felix☀️: I stuck around until I thought you were settled, but i was pretty worried

Your heart dropped in your chest, a surge of guilt mostly to blame, though gratitude was taking the small remainder of that accountability. You: You didn’t have to do that, Felix.

You: But, thank you. I’m okay, sometimes my subconscious just…hurts.

Explaining these recurring dreams to Felix was harder than you’d have imagined. He was so gentle and soft - radiating joy and peace. You didn’t want to dim his shine, especially not as he basked in the glow of Ryujin contacting him.

Felix☀️: you sure?

Felix☀️: you can talk to me if you want to

Felix☀️: but no pressure!!!

The small smile that seemed to accompany conversations with Felix crept back onto your face, pushing the anxiety over explaining yourself far into the background. His messages were so…him. Prone to rambling, yet thoughtful and well-meaning with every tangent he went off on. If only he knew that you were the one feeling nervous about how you were affecting him this time around.

You: I’m really okay, but…noted, thank you.

Not even in the furthest recesses of your imagination would you have figured Felix for the intuitive type, his bumbling nature giving off much more of a clueless vibe than one capable of such inferences.

Yet, here you were, so shell-shocked you nearly dropped your phone - and your coffee - before you’d gathered yourself enough to even attempt to formulate a reply.

Felix☀️: does it involve how you feel about love?

Attempt had been the key word in your mental monologue, seeing as your fingers flew across the keys in the most avoidant, juvenile way imaginable.

You: I don’t wanna talk about it.

Less than a second later, Felix had responded. You could picture him staring at his phone, overthinking the fact that he sent a message so personal. Realizing the troubled thoughts he must’ve been having made you feel a bit ashamed of your own terseness.

Felix☀️: that feels like an answer

Felix☀️: but i won’t push, okay?

Felix☀️: just know i AM here for you, if you ever change your mind

The fact that he still managed to be so understanding, so comforting so…Felix about it all, only served to make the way you’d answered him feel even more shameful.

You: Thank you.

It was all you could think of to reply with, setting your phone beside you before leaning your head back against the couch - staring up at the ceiling blankly. You couldn’t stop cursing yourself internally, wishing you’d met Felix’s softness with something a bit less abrasive.

At least he didn’t seem too terribly torn up over it - you seemed to have that covered on your own at this point, anyways.

Right on cue, with true chaotic-best-friend energy, Jisung barged back into the apartment, his face pale as he held a bright-blue flier in his hand. “Ji?” you asked, sitting upright on the couch to search his eyes for anything that could explain his offputting silence.

He stepped forward, blinking rapidly before handing you the innocuous paper, barely managing to whisper, “Honey, I’m so sorry, I completely forgot…”

“What are you talking about, Ji?” you asked, keeping a nervous smile plastered on your face as if it would change whatever he was going on about into something unworthy of his atypical quietness.

You flipped it over, bold black text sending an immediate chill down your spine.

Bi-Annual Author’s Gala.

You felt your breath catch in your throat as you looked up at Jisung with genuine fear in your eyes, his own expression softening into worry - it was probably best that only one of you were in crisis at a time, and you definitely took precedence when it came to this particular event.

As the name stated, the Bi-Annual Author’s Gala was a party hosted by popular publishers all around the region once every two years - serving both as a social mixer and an award ceremony for authors from all different publishing houses.

And it was tonight.

This, on its own, wasn’t much cause for concern. You were, in fact, an author and it would be far from your first time in attendance of the Gala. The biggest concern each year was typically finding a dress that suited the occasion in time, or making sure that your makeup wouldn’t photograph poorly should you be given an award.

This year, however, the hurdle you needed to overcome was something you’d never had to face before; attending alone.

You’d attended last year’s event with San.

You’d purchased a plus-one ticket in advance, because you certainly hadn’t predicted San leaving you before the next Gala.

There were going to be two seats saved under your name, and one body to fill them.

“Ji, fuck, you gotta go with me!” you whipped your head up from the flier, ignoring the painful sting that always came along with remembering anything at all about San.

Jisung couldn’t look you in the eye - the surefire tell that he was about to tell you something you really didn’t want to hear.

“Honey, Minho and I are leaving for Jeju in like…two hours, remember?” he spoke in a startlingly soft and serious voice, still unable to meet your eyes, “It’s our first vacation as a couple, I can’t cancel on him…” he chewed his lip, finally sparing you a fleeting moment of eye contact.

You understood, of course, but that didn’t stop your veins from running cold at the prospect of explaining to everyone there why you had two seats, and no plus one.

Understanding did nothing for the fact that you had less than eight hours to find not only an appropriate dress for such an event, but a date who could also dress accordingly. You must have been wearing your dread in every facet of your being, because Jisung was quick to start spouting suggestions.

“Would your publisher let you skip out? Claim any award on your behalf?”

You shook your head, recalling how she’d reacted when you’d tried to call out of a book signing, let alone an actual award ceremony.

“I highly doubt it, Ji. You know how she is…” you trailed off, your lower lip trembling as you took a shaky inhale.

“Oh! Ask Felix, maybe?” he chirped, tilting his head to the side with the first shadow of a smile he’d worn since reappearing with that cursed, blue paper.

That…wasn’t a terrible idea.

You pulled your phone out, typing and retyping your message until your shaky fingers spared you any typos.

You: Hey, what are you doing tonight?

You wondered if Felix would find amusement in knowing you were nervous on the other end of the phone, just as his through-text stammering tickled your funny bone. Such thoughts were quickly cut short as your heart leapt into your throat.

You finally understood what people meant when they’d complain about how nervous appearing and disappearing typing cues made them.

Felix☀️: was gonna go out for some drinks with ryujin

Felix☀️: why? is everything okay?

You swallowed the lump in your throat, trying to convince yourself that encroaching on his first actual outing with - as he oftentimes called her - the love of his life was acceptable. That your personal emergency outweighed the potential of his happiness.

The thought itself felt like poison, making you nauseated at the fact you’d even considered it. It felt almost as wrong to lie to Felix, but it was for the future of the relationship you’d promised to help him secure.

You were sure that, should he ever find out the truth, he’d forgive you. Felix was certainly the type to brush something like this off if he knew your heart was in the right place.

You: Yeah, all good. Have fun, be yourself. Tell me all about it later?

You sighed as you tucked your phone back into your pocket, looking up at Jisung’s expectant eyes before shaking your head. His expression fell instantly back into one of guilt and concern. The way his jaw clenched showed you that he was wracking his brain for any other possibility.

You didn’t need him to say a word to know that he was likely out of ideas.

There was no ill will towards Jisung, just as there was none towards Felix. Plans with someone you loved were important to those who still believed in it’s magic, after all. The only bitterness your heart held was towards San, and towards love itself.

None of this would be a problem if you simply had never loved San in the first place.

“Are you gonna be okay?” Jisung asked, reaching out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder.

Your best attempt at a smile likely appeared more tight-lipped and forced than reassuring, though you did your best to come across as much more composed than you felt.

“Yeah, I’ll survive, Ji,” you nearly whispered, nodding your head before lightheartedly pushing him away, “Now, go pack. I don’t want Minho to blame me if you’re late for your departure, yeah?”

Jisung nodded, giving a half-hearted grin at your attempt to diffuse the tension, “Okay, sweets. Send me outfit photos? I can at least help with that.”

With that, Jisung leaned forward and pecked the top of your head affectionately, casting a melancholy glance over his shoulder before leaving you alone in the apartment.

All there was to do now was tear apart your closet, put on your makeup, and try not to cry.

You were only confident in the first two.

Time was of the essence, so exhausting your wardrobe was the only option in order to find suitable attire for the Gala. It would be so much easier to head to one of the boutiques uptown, allowing one of the overly helpful employees there to play dress-up-author-Barbie with you.

But you only had two hours, and couldn’t risk being late and alone.

So, you’d spent ten minutes pulling every article of clothing resembling formalwear from the closet, spreading them out on your bed before snapping photos to send to Jisung for approval.

You sat at your vanity, pulling your hair back from your face to apply a thin layer of foundation and a generous layer of bronzer to your cheekbones, a necessary effort to combat the washout due to cameras flashing. A bit of a dusty-rose blush, simple flicked eyeliner, and a shock of red lipstick topped off the entire look.

You had to admit, you looked at least ten times more put together than you felt.

The chiming of your phone brought you to your feet, nearly jumping across the room to check what you had rightfully assumed was Jisung’s verdict.

Dumb Squirrel: honey, are you serious?

Dumb Squirrel: that pretty black dress and you considered other options?

Dumb Squirrel: I taught you better than that???

You rolled your eyes, not quite appreciating his humor as much as you would whilst under such immense levels of stress.

You: Unprovoked???

Dumb Squirrel: Minho wants to see your makeup before he agrees with me.

You snapped a quick photo, trying your best to put on a pleasant expression despite how pointless it felt to waste time with selfies, but you knew better than to argue with Jisung after asking him for advice.

Dumb Squirrel: first of all, i am offended

Dumb Squirrel: you hide this bad bitch in pajamas every time we hangout

Dumb Squrrel: rude

You groaned, brows furrowing as you replied to him quickly. You: Help me now, compliment me later.

Dumb Squirrel: yeesh, grouchy.

Dumb Squirrel: i get it though, so i forgive you

Dumb Squirrel: Minho said, quote, “black dress, match some heels. sleek, sexy and professional”

Dumb Squirrel: he also insists that i apologize because “this isn’t a time to joke” and to inform you he called me an idiot on your behalf

For the first time since your seemingly endless panic, the ghost of a true smile appeared on your face. You had always known there was a reason you approved of Minho outside of Jisung’s happiness. You: Thanks, both of you. Gotta finish up now, message you when I arrive?

Dumb Squirrel: you got it sweets. good luck!

You set your phone down on the vanity, picking up the elegant black number from your bed. It was a simple dress, enough to look dressed up without overdoing it. The sleeves were full length, clinging tightly to your arms despite exposing both of your shoulders. The neckline was modest, resting in a slight curve against your sternum, the skirt floor length - flaring out just enough to flow - with a slit up to your mid thigh.

After slipping it on and struggling with the zipper alone, your reflection told you that Ji and Minho had been absolutely correct in their recommendation - your resolve only solidifying as you took Minho’s advice about a pair of black pumps. A few pieces of dainty silver jewelry, and an understated black clutch were all that was required to give you an air of poise that - until now - you weren’t sure you were actually capable of.

You’d have no idea this was a last-minute effort if you weren’t, well, you.

Sitting down once more at the vanity, slipping your phone into the clutch, you twirled a piece of hair around your fingertip. You didn’t have the time to do anything fancy, but knew that your unstyled hair would definitely not blend in with the aura of sophistication you’d managed to exude with everything else adorning your body.

The time restriction may have turned out to be a good thing, you thought to yourself. Straightened hair pulled back into a high, tight ponytail tied the whole look together in a way that you were sure Jisung would gush about for weeks after seeing the photos from the event.

Date or not, you looked absolutely fantastic - and you knew it. That confidence exuded from your features, even when you’d simply gaze blankly into the mirror. It was that same overwhelming aura one would get watching perfume commercials; despite how disinterested the actress may appear, your attention was always pulled for at least a moment.

You gave yourself one last glance, spritzing on a light perfume before making your way to the door. You’d had the sense to call a cab in advance, thanking whatever deity may have been watching over you as you spotted it pulling up from halfway down the stairs.

Another quick prayer of gratitude as the interior of the cab didn’t smell horrible, though this was likely due to the extra fee you’d paid to have a nicer, newer model pick you up.

The driver politely greeted you, nodding as you prattled off the address quickly. He seemed to be a man of few words, yet another thing you could only accredit to a guardian angel or impossible luck.

The ride was rather uneventful, save for the occasional bit of traffic at stoplights, and you’d managed to arrive at the venue with five minutes to spare. You snapped a quick photo outside of the venue, sending it to Jisung so he’d know you’d made it safely.

You: Made it to the Gala safe and sound. Now to make it through the evening without needing to explain the lack of date…pray for me. Talk later?

You shut your phone off then, not wanting to risk it going off during any announcements for the awards, slipping it back into your clutch to avoid the temptation to distract yourself with messages or social media.

Your publicist spotted you from the entrance, waving her arm above her head to draw your attention. You stepped towards her, plastering on your best smile as you greeted her warmly. “Nari, good to see you,” you spoke softly, ghosting your lips above her cheeks rather than actually greeting her properly - the alternative being to stain her makeup red.

“Am I ever glad to see you,” she sighed, audibly relieved as she returned the gesture, “I hadn’t heard from you all day and had honestly begun to worry you’d forgotten.”

“I would never,” you lied, turning your head as your name was called by one of the photographers.

You let the corners of your lips raise as you parted your lips, the look Nari had taught you under the name pleasantly surprised to be photographed. It sounded dumb when she’d first told you about it - though the shots, and how gentle and candid you ended up looking in them, quickly won you over to her side.

“You came alone?” Nari asked quietly, speaking through her teeth behind her own gentle smile. “Mhm,” you hummed softly, turning towards a different photographer to allow them all the shots they wanted. It wasn’t as it would be as an actress or musician - there weren’t really paparazzi to speak of. This was more…documentation for online profiles, potential headshots for book covers, and coverage for the sake of equal representation amongst the arts.

Despite your hopes that Nari would leave the topic alone, it seemed you’d used up your luck reserves for the day.

“Didn’t you book a plus one?” she mumbled haphazardly, trying to keep her expression calm as she wondered how, as your publicist, she’d explain away the empty seat.

“Two years ago, yes,” you reminded her, hoping your discomfort wouldn’t be apparent in any of the photos.

“You couldn’t have canceled?” she asked, sounding more and more urgent despite speaking through a closed jaw.

“Didn’t cross my mind,” you dodged, allowing your face to shift from pleasant to neutral as the photographers gathered around the next author to arrive, “Is it really that big of a deal?”

Nari sighed, pushing her glasses up her nose as she shook her head, “In general, no. As your publicist, yes.”

You frowned, turning your body to face her. You did your best to hide your displeasure - it was embarrassing enough for you without Nari reminding you that she’d have to field questions about your dateless award show from fans of your books.

“Nari, I really don’t see what the problem is, people show up to events without an escort all the –”

You were cut off by a blossoming smile on Nari’s face, visible relief in her eyes as she stared behind you.

“That wasn’t funny, you really had me going,” she scolded, glancing at you only momentarily before allowing her focus to return somewhere behind your shoulder. “Nari, what are you talking about? I meant it when I said I came –” you were cut off by an all too familiar throat clearing behind you.

“-- alone…” you trailed off, the hair on the back of your neck slowly rising as a heavy feeling of dread made itself at home from head to toe - though it seemed to constrict your heart in your chest. “Hey,” a familiar set of sharply angled lips spoke quietly. His jaw - one that you could vaguely recall pressing your lips against once upon a time - clenched awkwardly, the man attached shuffling in place. His sheepish eyes landed upon yours, holding a strong uncertainty that only seemed to increase the contrast with the blatant shock you wore.

You swallowed hard - fight and flight playing the highest-stakes game of chicken you’d ever considered in your mind.

Both of these options felt like a nightmare.

Punching him in front of cameras? Tempting, and Jisung would probably ask you to sign a copy - probably even treat you to a fancy and expensive dinner after bailing you out on an assault charge. Though, as far as PR went, it was a horrible decision - having an angry publicist was never a smart choice.

Running off was just as enticing, the desire to head home without looking back - finishing a bottle of wine alone in a pretty dress - sounded absolutely cathartic. Though, Nari would have to explain your sudden disappearance - which also translated to having an angry publicist. You asked the only question you truly felt like you needed answered in that moment, though you couldn't quite recognize your voice's newfound hollowness as your own.

“San, what the fuck are you doing here?”

Lee Felix was not the type to check his phone on a date. If anything, he was the type to leave it in his truck, devoting the entirety of his attention to the person sitting before him.

That had been his intent this evening - to sit across from Ryujin and finally engage in meaningful conversation. To smile and laugh with her as he filled in the blanks he’d so desperately craved the answer to as he’d crushed from afar. To lose himself in her eyes as she spoke about her passions.

Yet, completely out of character, Felix had forgotten to take his phone out of the pocket of his tight slacks. He, of course, had apologized when it interrupted their small talk, quickly silencing the ringer before returning to his previously enraptured state.

Even further from his typical behaviors, Felix’s curiosity about what awaited him beyond his lockscreen had stuck in his mind. So much, in fact, that he couldn’t stop himself from taking a peek at the screen whilst Ryujin was in the restroom.

Confused only slightly covered Felix’s reaction when he opened your text, swallowing hard to prevent his jaw from dropping at the sight of the photo attached;

#1 Love Hater💔: Made it to the Gala safe and sound. Now to make it through the evening without needing to explain the lack of date…pray for me. Talk later?

He was at least 99 percent certain that he wasn’t the intended recipient, yet everything about your message sparked question after question in his mind. What Gala were you referring to? If he were to glean anything from your attire and more-glamorous-than-usual makeup, it was some sort of formal event. Was this why you’d asked him about his plans for tonight? He felt his stomach lurch with guilt at the thought of you alone at something so…so utterly not like the you he knew. So formal and gaudy.

Felix had grown accustomed to seeing you dressed comfortably in oversized sweaters, a messy bun or completely unstyled hair framing your barely-made-up face.

Felix had only ever seen you in casual settings; your apartment, his truck, the food court, and the art studio. You looked beautiful, and Felix could acknowledge and appreciate the effort you’d put into your appearance for whatever this “Gala” was.

He’d always found your features to be pretty, though, even with your face smooshed against the window of his truck as you slept soundly.

To Felix, seeing you like this rather than how you usually present yourself was like being offered two slices of cake made up with the same ingredients, simply decorated differently. He simply couldn’t pick one over the other.

Ryujin still hadn’t returned, allowing his mind to continue questioning every aspect of the message you’d sent. He could only put so many pieces together on his own, though, and found himself increasingly antsy as he wondered how you were holding up - out of your element, and alone.

He’d shot you a quick text, trying to see how you were doing. He couldn’t help but frown as the checkmark stayed faded, not even registering as delivered. Was your phone dead? If it was, how could you call anyone if you needed something? He quickly scrolled his contacts, finding Jisung and typing out a message before he could even consider other options. Felix: what’s the gala?

Ryujin came back out then, giving Felix a brilliant smile that instantly made him wish he’d never seen your message. He was truly happy to have this time with her, finally getting the chance to become more than the guy who makes her drinks, yet here he was - worrying about you.

“Sorry I took so long, there was a line,” she explained before sliding back into her chair, lifting her wine glass to take a small sip.

“No worries,” Felix assured, his typically shining grin dimmed significantly as he tapped his foot subconsciously beneath the table.

If Ryujin noticed a change in his behavior, she didn’t let on, launching right back into where she’d left the discussion.

Though once enamored by every word that left her lips, Felix barely registered Ryujin’s recollection of her previous job as a secretary before moving on to her current position as an executive assistant. He felt his phone buzz against his thigh. Felix was doing his best to nod and smile attentively, despite the way his fingertips were twitching with the desire to pull up his phone and get the answers he craved.

Ryujin finished her story, looking at Felix expectantly as she took another sip of her wine. Shit, did she ask me something?

His palms began to sweat, another buzz against his thigh only serving to worsen the clamminess. He gave his best attempt at a remorseful smile, standing from his seat to give her a slight bow of apology.

“I’m really sorry, I’ll be right back, okay?” His eyes were wide, and it seemed to suddenly register with Ryujin that something was going on with him - that his attention had been elsewhere for the last several minutes. “Oh, yeah,” she said, her kind expression barely faltering as she read the look in his eyes as concern, “Is everything alright?”

“I hope so,” Felix replied with uncertainty, half of his mouth upturning into a crooked smile. Ryujin nodded, seeming to understand fully that this was something important to him - why else would his mood have shifted so suddenly?

Felix bowed again, though this time from gratitude, before hastily walking off in the direction of the outdoor patio. He pulled his phone out so quickly that he’d nearly dropped it, his level of worry causing him to mess up his own lock code not once - but twice.

Jisung (tried to 👊 once): howd you know about the gala?

Jisung (tried to 👊 once): its some fancy writing award thing i think tho?

Felix’s brow furrowed so deeply into his head that there would likely be residual wrinkles for a few minutes after he finally relaxed, his fingers flying across the keyboard as he chewed on the inside of his cheek.

Felix: and she went alone? 🙁 what if she wins?

Felix: accept an award alone? 😭

Felix’s guilt from earlier was on the fast track to evolve into unadulterated shame. He wondered why she’d have kept this from him…sure, he was busy, but her secrecy almost gave him further cause for concern.

Jisung (tried to 👊 once): yeah…i’m on jeju with Minho rn

Jisung (tried to 👊 once): she said you were busy but if you arent?

Jisung (tried to 👊 once): she’d appreciate someone there, i think

Jisung (tried to 👊 once): at least to save her from her publicist’s wrath

Felix sighed hard enough that it could’ve easily been mistaken as a frustrated groan. He was far from being irritated though - uneasy due to his lack of understanding, maybe, but not frustrated.

Felix: why would her publicist hound her?

Felix: was she not supposed to be alone?

Felix’s confusion only grew stronger, every answer to his questions revealing at least two more things he didn’t understand.

Jisung (tried to 👊 once): its not really my place

Jisung (tried to 👊 once): all i can say comfortably is that she’d planned on a plus one

Jisung (tried to 👊 once): and some shit happened

Jisung (tried to 👊 once): emphasis on shit

Felix’s heart sank. On one hand, you hadn’t shared this information with him yourself. If he acted on it, would you be upset with him for prying? Upset with Jisung for sharing? On the other, from what he gathered, tonight might be painful for you - especially if you’d planned on someone special being by your side for it.

Felix: you really think she’d want me there?

Felix decided to double check, despite Jisung’s earlier statement that you’d likely appreciate a friendly face. If anyone would be able to predict your reactions closest to complete accuracy, it would be your best friend.

Jisung (tried to 👊 once): i know she would.

That’s when Felix made arguably the toughest decision of his adult life, stuffing his phone back into his pocket as he reapproached the table - Ryujin’s momentary happiness fading as she recognized the look on his face.

“What’s up?” she asked, trying to remain casual despite the sudden intensity in Felix’s gaze.

“Please forgive me,” he started, though his voice sounded much more resolute than a plea for forgiveness should, “There’s an emergency with one of my friends, I really have to go.”

Ryujin blinked a few times, nodding her head before giving him a sweet smile - disappointment barely visible as she responded calmly, “I understand completely.”

“Rain check?” Felix asked hopefully, pulling his blazer from the back of his chair with a raised brow before slinging it over his arms.

“Of course,” she replied softly, watching as he tossed enough cash for their meal and tips onto the table before handing her a few bills to pay cab fare to get her home.

She blinked at the money in her hand before looking back up at him, her brows creased together. Sure, she hadn’t known Felix long…but his entire demeanor looked different somehow. Gone was the awkward, shy, fumbling man she’d arrived with - in his place stood a man completely sure of himself, confident in his choice to cut their date short in the name of a friend in need.

As she watched Felix race back to his truck, turning the keys in the ignition before he’d even buckled his seatbelt, Ryujin wasn’t quite sure if she was more puzzled or besotted by this brand new side of Lee Felix.

As you stood face to face with San you became certain of two things.

Firstly, he was exactly the same. From the way he parted his hair, to the slight lean to the right in his posture, San had not changed - even a tiny bit. No sign of new fine lines or wrinkles. No difference in the offhanded way he’d addressed you. The only difference, in fact, was a glittering gold band on his left ring finger.

That had led you to your second revelation; any love you had for him was - in fact - gone. The tentative smile he offered you that used effortlessly placate even your largest irritations only served to give you an uncomfortable case of the goosebumps, chilling you to the very core. The way he tilted his head, once something you’d found precious now only infuriated you.

How dare he look at you so calmly after what he’d done? How dare he show up at an event that wasn’t even for him in the first place? How dare he show up with the audacity to escort you wearing a wedding ring after breaking off your engagement to marry the woman who’d likely slid that onto his finger?

How dare he do this in front of your publicist, who now wore a relieved and excited grin on her face at the notion of having the seat next to you filled.

How dare he waltz up to you with absolutely no warning, uttering a casual hey as if you were somehow friends?

How fucking dare he?

Your teeth were clenched following your less-than-amicable question, jaw set in a tensed position as you crossed your arms against your chest.

“Don’t act this way,” he started, his brows knitting together before he pursed his lips.

“I said what the fuck are you doing here?” you hissed, eyes widened with a rage that, until just now, you believed had been abandoned in favor of grief.

“I –” he cut himself off, leaning his head back and closing his eyes as he took a sharp breath in through his nose - the telltale flaring of his nostrils showing just how hard he was working to keep himself gentle, “I was supposed to be your plus one. I’m not so shitty that I’d let you sit alone at the Gala.”

“I beg to differ,” you deadpanned, “You’re exactly that shitty, and nothing would make me happier than if you’d never shown up here.”

San’s jaw clenched as he took in your quiet anger. He’d experienced different sides of you before, but this was new.

You’d had jealous anger before, resulting in tears and long monologues of your insecurities - coating everything you did like a cold drizzle, sinking you into yourself as you’d seek warmth in any way possible.

You’d had explosive anger, too. Raising your voice and refusing to listen to reason, certain that exactly what you believed to be happening was strictly fact - down to every last detail. Like an earthquake, threatening destruction on anything not secured tightly in place.

Now, though? Your face was blank, save for the slightly widened state of your eyes and the hard line your lips had formed. Your words were clear and concise, as if you had been waiting to say these very words to him for your entire life. You sounded sure. You sounded calm.

You were the eye of a hurricane, a single spot of calm amidst the raging sea. Moving in any direction too quickly could plunge him into the chaotic, swirling depths.

“Unfortunately,” you continued on, not once shifting your steely gaze away from his, “It seems that in order to be rid of you, I’d need to do something my publisher will absolutely disapprove of.”

San swallowed hard, “I didn’t come here with the intention to upset you –” his eyes bulged as you laughed - as though his attempt at reassurance was actually the funniest thing you’d ever heard in your life.

“That’s fucking rich, Choi San, considering you’re planning to walk at my side as though you’ve done nothing wrong,” you took a step closer, despite how sick the proximity made you feel, just to ensure that no prying eyes or gossip-hungry ears could pick up on a thing you said.

“You want to come here, to an award ceremony for my profession, wearing the ring given to you by the woman you swore to me I didn’t need to worry about?” you scoffed under your breath, every bit of your body language screaming discomfort and volatility.

You whispered the last sentence, the audacity he had to appear shocked, requiring you to push back against the urge to spit in his face, “But, I guess since you didn’t come here to upset me, it’s all fine I suppose.”

If it hadn’t been for Nari, you’d have definitely caused a bigger scene.

If you didn’t know for a fact that she’d have several choice words, if not threats on your career should you turn San away, you’d have simply called him a cab and told him to get fucking lost.

You had to be escorted by the man who ruined your entire concept of love for the night. There was no other option. You suddenly found yourself wishing you’d simply not been reminded by Jisung about the event earlier, simply missing it and facing Nari’s wrath.

That was better than forcing yourself to pretend to be fine next to San.

If you had to be escorted by the largest reminder of your heartache, you refused to do it with an agreeable demeanor - so you turned away from him suddenly, making a beeline for the outdoor bar, hoping to get a couple of drinks to coax you into spending the evening next to the devil.

You’d expected him to perhaps follow you, at least having the decency to be as close to invisible as he could be in the seat next to you for the evening.

You’d expected him to let you get a drink, maybe to even understand why you wanted to dull your senses around him.

What you hadn’t expected was his sudden, tight grip around your wrist - stopping you in your tracks.

“I showed up for you,” he whispered with accentuated sibilance, a noise more closely associated with a feral cat than a man. His grip tightened on your wrist as his eyes grew wide, “I left my wife home to escort you at this stupid fucking gala,” he spat that bit bitterly, his nose wrinkling with anger, “that I’ve never actually liked attending, just so you don’t feel fucking embarassed, all alone.” San’s voice had morphed into one filled with venom, it’s sole intent to mock you and make you feel small.

“I didn’t fucking ask you to,” you hissed back, ignoring the stinging in your eyes at his words. You didn’t love him anymore, this was true. You didn’t care about his opinion, and that was true, too.

It was also true that he knew you well enough to know exactly where to prod, exactly how to hurt you.

You barely noticed whispers of a few passerby as the two of you exchanged your hushed, turbulent stabs.

You barely noticed the familiar sound of an engine thrumming beneath the hood of a red pickup truck.

His grip grew tighter, making you wince slightly, “You’re so fucking ungrateful,” San continued, running his free hand through his hair - as he’d always done when he’d grown frustrated with you - before shooting his darkened eyes back towards you, “All you’ve ever done is complain about everything I do for you, no matter how fucking much I hated doing it.”

“I didn’t want you here,” you insisted, trying with futility to pull your wrist from the constraint of his fist, “This isn’t for me,” you swallowed the thickness growing in your throat, ignoring the way your voice quivered as you spoke - determined not to break where he could see you, “If this were for me, you’d be gone. In fact, you’d never have shown up here in the first place, San.”

San grew red in the face as he pulled you closer by your wrist, hissing whatever the opposite of sweet nothings were directly into your face, “You stupid, selfish, spoiled little –” he suddenly stopped, his gaze focusing behind you reminding you eerily of the way Nari had spotted him before.

The smell of a summer’s rain and wildflowers flooded your senses, prefacing a warm hand resting against your bare shoulder.

San’s jaw clenched as he glanced at the hand, his eyes slowly making their way up to the face attached.

It was then that a familiar, comforting bass voice met your ears - soothing you despite the intimidating closeness San maintained with you.

You turned your head to confirm your suspicions, relief overpowering the bewilderment you felt seeing the last person you’d expected to show up this evening.

“So sorry I’m late,” he whispered just loud enough for San to hear as well, stepping close enough that he hovered directly over your back.

Felix.

“I’d appreciate if you’d unhand my date." He nearly growled, the look on his face completely foreign to the gentle, fluffy haired boy you'd grown so accustomed to. "Now.”

#lee felix x reader #lee felix x you #felix fanfiction #felix fanfic #felix angst #felix romance #felix smut #lee felix romance #lee felix fluff #stray kids x reader #lee felix imagines

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1nthedarknessofthenight · 1 month

Text

i drink your blood and i eat your skin | part seven.

pairing: vampire! hwang hyunjin x f!reader

warnings: angst

masterlist

playlist

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It was another day and as more time passed by, spending it only in your room, the more the boredom creeped up on you. Even the books you took with you from the library started to get boring, words on pages blending together and creating just a bunch of nonsense. The delicious food turned as bland as your world. The known unpleasant feelings started to show and not even the beautiful house could not keep you away from embracing them. You haven’t seen Hyunjin after the dinner and in some way it bothered you. Loneliness, feeling you knew all too well, quickly joined the party and now it felt way stronger, even deeper. You didn’t even realized that his presence was effecting you in some way…

More like his absence. You however knew better than let your intrusive thoughts win. It is so wrong to want his attention, him. It was so wrong that it felt good…right. You don’t know if he truly was a bad person, maybe it’s just your own head playing tricks on you. Or maybe it was just instinct, maybe it was keeping you safe from him. He is a predator and you were his chosen type of prey after all. He told you that he wouldn’t hurt you but you both know that in some way or another he already did. You weren’t in the wrong to think like this.

You are just careful around him, because you still fear him in some way. Even if you get to know him, will you ever not be afraid? You knew what power he holds and that scares you. He could snap your neck by a blink of an eye.

But…wasn’t that also so exciting?

Hyunjin is so strong, a creature created from the darkness. A vampire that walks with an aura so menacing but also so alluring. It makes you want to have just a little taste of it and before you would know it, you would be already drowning in it. And it would taste even better because his deepest desire.

You really should sort out your feelings. You wished for Mia right now. You missed her, even if it were just days but being ripped away from her like that — you didn’t like it. You choose to stay, you have to remember that.

As you were gazing through the closed windows, you wondered if you could go there. You needed some fresh air and the slightly open window in the bathroom wasn’t enough anymore. After you went to the library the door to your bedroom was mysteriously left unlocked, maybe he knows that you won’t try to run away again. For one you are sure that you wouldn’t be able to, even if you tried your hardest and second of all you don’t really want to….but maybe a walk outside wouldn’t hurt anyone.

To your surprise you found a long, warm coat for you in the closet and also some boots. Every time you had opened it, you always found new things for you. It was endless and you couldn’t help yourself from going over the multiple boxes of shoes. He really does have a taste but being alive for God knows how long, it should come naturally.

It felt wrong going out of your room like this or was it just in your head? You weren’t really a prisoner but still everyone was so careful around — with you. You weren’t that sure which way lead to the back of this place but you were definitely familiar with which way was the main entrance. You calmly made your way to the big staircase and you momentarily stopped, gripping the railing with your hand. You glance into the dark hallway just few steps away from you, you haven’t been there before. There is still so much for you to explore but your lungs really call for the fresh air you promised yourself.

As you made your way down, you noticed that you weren’t alone at all to your surprise. The house looked like it was finally waking up. Two guards were standing at each side of the main door, dressed neatly, bodies pin straight and eyes hard, it made a lump form in your throat. Maybe it’s not going to be so easy.

They didn’t spare you a glance first, even if you now stood right in front of them and you were a little thankful for that. You clear your throat, clasping your hands before you. “Ehm — hello, may I go outside?” Even by clearing your throat, you still sounded like a hurt kitten. ‘Even my voice is not on your side.’

Finally they take a glance at you briefly, before giving each other looks that you couldn’t quite place. You stood there for a while, swinging on your feet slightly. The one on your right with fair hair and looking a little older than you sighed. You weren’t so sure about his age, after all you feel like this house only reeks of the undead but this man didn’t look like it. He doesn’t have the aura around him, the different eyes or anything. He looked like you, human. His company however didn’t. He was more like your age, tall and skinny with dark curly hair and light eyes which for a second reminded you of him. This was interesting. Were there many like you here?

The older man step out, unblocking the view of the door. “I will accompany you, miss.” He said. At that excitement pumped through your veins, finally feeling some kind of relievement in these past days.

You shake your hand, waving him of, making your way to the door. “You don’t have to.”

Before you could wrap your hand around the handle, he put his hand on it, again blocking the entry with his body. You look up at him at that. “I will accompany you, miss.” He said slowly, not that sternly but letting you know that you didn’t have a choice.

“Okay.” You replied. The prices you have to pay to just get a whiff of fresh air…

The other man step aside as well, probably to not get hit with a stream of light that might shine through the now open door. You are curious about what is and what is not true about these creatures but you can tell for sure that they did not like the sun. It wasn’t that sunny outside however but you could smell the warm spring peaking around the color. The sky was still grey, maybe it was because of where you are, middle of the woods and cut from any other people that weren’t residents of this house. But is it really a house? It looked like a mansion, mixed with cathedral, you couldn’t quite place it. At least you now had time to fully analyze it.

The man walked few feet behind you and you find yourself not minding it that much, maybe because he was like you. Did he knew about who — what he was working for or was he compelled? That question ran through your head while you walk around the building, however you didn’t ask. It was none of your business but you hope that they did not keep him, like a alive blood bag…

Tracing your fingers over one of the statues, you wondered again where this marvelous place was located or more like where you were right now. You remind yourself that they had the power to do everything and more, you almost scoffed how easy it must be for them to live. The nicer weather even made the bushes bloom, you remembered that they were empty just days ago but now red roses peaked out from them.

You touched one of the roses softly, it wouldn’t propably hurt anyone to pick one up but you still glance back at your company that watched you silently the whole time. “Can I have one?” He raised his eyebrow, looking confused to why you would ask permission for that but still nodded nevertheless.

You snap the stem then, careful not to cut your finger because that definitely wouldn’t end well if you did. Twirling it between your fingers, you decided to go around, to the direction where you would look out of your window. Just as you wanted to cut the corner you suddenly appeared somewhere else.

The smell hit your nose, just as well the noises of the animals in the stables. Your mouth opened slightly. The stables were right at the edge of the mansion, so there was no way for you to ever guess to be meet with horses. You thought that vampires enjoyed more of dead company than anything. Glancing back momentarily at the guard, seeing that he doesn’t have anything against you to you going there, you pick the end of your long coat and step inside.

The heads of the horses peak out at you and you immediately went to pet each and every one of them, still careful because there wasn’t certitude that they would like you but to your surprise they did. The second your hand touch the soft skin of their neck, it seemed that almost a heavy weight has been lifted from your shoulders. Petting an animal really does help with nerves. As you passed through them, giving them each enough pets for them and for you to be satisfied, you came across a one horse that had its back to you. It probably could sense your presence, turning to finally walk up to you and have a look and you gasp softly at the beautiful white color and the black spot at it’s back.

Your lips after so long lift softly at the corners as it leaned into your open hand. You really don’t want to pick and choose favorites but this one surely speak out to you and it definitely liked you the most so far out of everyone. The stables were big, bigger than you expected, this place sure has it’s secrets and surprises.

A loud noise startled you, hand jumping away from the neighing horse to whip your head to the direction. There at one of the stalls stood a man, leaning on the wood, looking you over and you wondered if he’s been there the whole time. Your body stiffened at his dark eyes and matching black hair.

“H-Hello.” You greeted, unsure, looking back your company that to your surprise kept his distance, standing at the entrance to the stables. Looking back to meet the eyes of the lean, tall man, you don’t receive any answer. He looked like one of those statues in the gardens, the aura and his unraising chest giving you the answer about who — what this man truly is.

The horse you were just petting nudge the back of your head, making you jump before your focus was back on the still silent vampire who was still sizing you up. You cleared your throat, straightening your back, suddenly feeling insecure under his gaze. “I am–“ Before you could finish introducing yourself he beat you to it.

“I know who you are.” He said.

“Oh…”

A small smirk appears on his face at your response. “My brother can’t shut his mouth about you.”

‘Really’ You thought. You weren’t so sure what to say to that so you kept quiet. The silence however made you feel uncomfortable, turning around to continue at your petting of the horse. As you do that you could feel him getting closer, you couldn’t hear his footsteps but the burning stare at the back of your head gave him away. You turned back to him, his gaze hard but not looking so unwelcoming, maybe it was just his natural expression and also he was much closer to you that you thought. Basically right next to you

“I’m sorry for asking this but…” You begin. “–are you all…following me?” The question was answered by silence, his face unmoving. “I feel like you are…”

He hummed almost like in thought, his own attention falling to the animal before you two. “Just keeping an eye on you, like everyone.” The vampire answered. ‘What does he mean by everyone?’ Your eyes briefly flicker to the guard.

“Hyunjin likes his sleep…” He continued, making you snap out of your thoughts to look at him as he nodded his head to the direction of the horse. “You ride?”

You shook your head widely, still slightly stuck at his statement. “Oh n-no, but I for sure always wanted to try.” You careased the soft skin of the horse, smiling at it’s noises of contentment.

The vampire watch you in silence, petting the happy animal. The news of your existence shocked everyone, it was such a crazy theory that even he didn’t know what to think. He, like everyone else didn’t want to give Hyunjin the satisfaction that maybe he was right about you. The fact that this animal, your so called soulmate’s untenable horse let you pet him so freely was for sure a little significant. All eight of them had their own look at you at some point, peaking from behind corners in curiosity. Their brother was so mesmerized by you that they just had to have a look themselves. They however didn’t expect you to be like this — look like this. Such a beautiful soul but also so sad, wide eyed like you finally opened your eyes after years of living. Walking amongst the living but so close to the dead. Still you looked and smelled so sweet, like a flower, maybe you were just tormented, lost soul like them. Maybe you are more enchanting than you think…

The black haired man startles you as he suddenly opened the gate to let the horse out. “What are doing?” You asked in wonder. The question only made him roll his eyes in annoyance. He was only doing this for him. Maybe if you saw kindest in others, you could finally start seeing it in him.

You watched the vampire as he put the saddle on the horse. “We are going for a ride.” He stated casually, making you choke on your spit. Because of the gate now being open you could fully see how magnificent this animal is and it made you nervous to even approach it now.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

He again rolls his eyes. If this bordered him so much, why was he even doing it then? Your body froze slightly as he suddenly made his way up to you, so quickly that you didn’t even have time to react. One second you were on the ground and now you were being picked up by your waist like you weighed nothing. A small gasp leaves you. “Wait! Wait, I don’t even know your name…”

“Seungmin.” He answered simply, while helping you up on the horse’s back and if you weren’t so focused on balancing yourself you would’ve seen the small amused smile.

The vampire walked with you in his arms, before helping you to get fully seated. “Wait! Aren’t you not supposed to be able to go outside.” You stated, clutching the leather of the saddle tightly as the animal moves under your weight.

A sigh, almost like a laugh comes through his nose at your words. “I appreciate your concern but however the sun can’t harm me from here.” You opened your mouth in realization.

You were know seated on the horse, body so rigid that now you were the one looking like a statue. The vampire still had his arms stretched out, like you were going to fall at any second into them but you were basically frozen at your spot. The animal moved a little, making you grip the saddle even tighter.

“Do you want to go down?” Your company asked softly. You didn’t say anything because you simply didn’t know the answer but as seconds passed by you started to not mind your position. Maybe the whiplash from how quickly you were put so high up was wearing out. “Or do you fancy a walk around the castle?”

Your head snapped to his direction. “Can I?” You asked softly.

“What do you think.”

You sighed through your nose, body not so tense anymore. “I would love to.” You really would.

His lips formed into a small smirk and not because of your words but from the annoyed sigh coming from inside the house that only he was able to hear. His hand then wrapped around the reins, making the horse move from it’s spot, you immediately tensing up again. But after some few steps as you walked your way to the direction of the guard who you almost forgot about, you found the hang of it.

“Accompany her, make sure she doesn’t get hurt on my brother’s behalf and sanity.” Said Seungmin and you couldn’t miss the difference of the tone of his voice nor the way he looked into the man’s eyes.

The guard nodded, blinking away rapidly and grabbing the reins to the horse. “Yes, sir.”

Seungmin turned to you, even if you had the higher ground, you couldn’t possible share the same authority as him. “For my well being I won’t be the one to give you the tour.” ‘Oh? So direct sunlight was the enemy.’ Your eyes then fell on the two man again.

“Just around the forest.”

“Yes, sir.”

You felt a little bad for this unknown man but there was nothing to do. You simply don’t have the power to even have a say about who or who not should be compelled. The way Seungmin now was looking at you, made you think that he could read your thoughts. This intense glare probably came with every vampire though.

You smiled briefly at him. “Thank you, Seungmin.”

He waved you off, looking into the distance. “I did this for myself because I can’t tolerate my brother’s whining any longer.”

“Huh…” You frowned because you couldn’t imagine him doing that, eyes traveling back again at the vampire who stood under you.

“You made a choice to stay.” He stated. “So at least try to enjoy it and stop your own whining.”

“Excuse me?” Flies out your mouth because had nothing other than that to say at the moment but he just ignored your question, turning around to make his way back inside, exactly as the sun appear on the exact spot he stood second ago.

“Goodbye miss Y/N.”

‘Vampires are going to be the death of you.’

────

It was a cold night, so cold that even Hyunjin shivered. Though was it really the breeze, coming from behind the closed door that made goosebumps appear on his skin, perhaps it was the unsettling feeling bubbling inside his chest, ready to burst at any moment. He stood behind the closed door to your bedroom, silently getting over the words inside his head. His thoughts were so loud that he didn’t even have time to listen. Hyunjin listened to the sound of your beating heart every second, since you’ve been here, even the many walls separating you apart couldn’t safe you from his ears. The thumbing soothes his soul, like a lullaby but now the sound makes his ears ring. The sound…so close yet so far.

He wanted you to know that yours made his own beat again. There’s no way for him to express his emotions throughout words. He tried plenty of different ways to show his devotion to you but you dodged every one like a bullet. Did you even know that every second without you made him mad? It made his skin crawl, itching, burning and fangs hurting and wanting nothing more than to pierce the soft skin of your neck and make you his. Hyunjin wanted to mark you so bad that he had to bite his own lips to ease the temptation, while imagining they were yours instead.

The vampire didn’t want to say this but your rejections were so confusing to him. He knew how and what he could evoke in humans, he was the creature that trilled on the seduction and the pleasure after all. You however didn’t return it. Or did you? He would like to say that he could see in the depths of the soul that people try so desperately to keep hidden and you weren’t really good at hiding your it. Your eyes gave you away every time he would look into them. The desire, the desperation they held, the wanting and longing to be finally seen. ‘Why won’t you let me in, Y/N?’ Let him in and he promises to ravish every corner of your heart, every piece of your untouched skin and lips…

Hyunjin has to contain himself a little but how when you were the reason and also the answer to his suffering and redemption?

He finally found the courage to knock on the door. The sound echoed through the old mansion, like the creaking wood under his feet and yet he didn’t hear anything from the other side. He waited a little bit for an answer but every moment made suffering even worse. Hyunjin knew you were in there…so he let himself in. He hopes you won’t be angry with him.

His eyes traveled over the room. From the unmade bed, to the multiple books on one of the nightstands. They stopped at the open window to the balcony, the very reason of the cold seeping inside the room. The strong wind made the heavy curtains float but the smell of your sweet scent didn’t immediately hit his nose, like he expected. Sense of panic washed over him, making him take quick steps to the balcony. ‘Have you ran away, jumping from the balcony and running for freedom through the forest? What if you were injured?’

Just as quickly as the panic had reached him, it flew away through the wind as a gasp ringed in the air. He turned around, coming face to face with your shocked expression and he had to slightly sigh in relief, taking in the smell of your skin.

One moment you were enjoying your bath in silence, washing away the smell of the animal you spent your whole day with and then there was a vampire standing inside your bedroom. You didn’t expect him to visit you at all and definitely not so soon after the horrible dinner and also not so late but what seemed like late to you was the beginning of the day for him. Your white nightgown gave you little to no coverage, wrapping your arm around your chest, the man following your action before quickly everting them. “May I ask what are you doing here unannounced?” You spoke up, eyes glancing at how the moonlight casted shadows on his face.

Hyunjin look up at your words, glancing over your figure so quickly that you didn’t even catch it. He had to licked his lips to ease the thirst. ‘God what she��s doing to me?’

“I did.” He said. “I knocked but you didn’t answer.”

“Alright.” You said, nodding not really sure what to say to that. You again watched each other in silence for a while. These moments were making you unsure if they made you uncomfortable or…comfortable. His presence doesn’t brother you that much anymore but you still haven’t got used to it.

Pressing your lips together, you walked to your bed, passing by him shifty. He had to take a deep breath as the wind blew your hair away from your neck. You knew exactly what he was doing as there was no need for him to breathe at all, however you tried to ignore it. You climbed into the bed, taking the duvet closer to your chest. It created a small imaginary distance from him, shielding you from his glaring eyes but you knew that if he wanted to he would tear it apart together with you.

You gave him a look of wonder because for what was he exactly here for? The expression made the vampire snapped out of whatever trance he was in. “I came here to talk to you.” Hyunjin answered simply.

You frown. “To talk to me?” You quoted. “About what?”

He gave a weird look, almost like in thought, before he sighed. “Anything…” He walked up at you, stopping just at the end of the bed. “I just want your company.” Hyunjin almost sounded desperate and how he towered over you, it reminded you of something.

How he looked at you that night and how he made you feel. You knew that it was just your imagination, a dream and it didn’t particularly ended well for you but the way he made almost everything look so appealing…His sultry voice and his eyes, lips, hands — your eyes flicker to his rings, wrapped around his long fingers.

Looking up from the dark color of the duvet, you could see that he had moved a little closer to you with just a moment of your inattention. He leaned his weight on the column of the bed’s canopy, just where your legs were. “Minho said you enjoy reading.”

“Yes.” You said carefully. How can you be surprised?

He hummed at your answer, warmness spreading inside his chest because you shared something in common — and of course he couldn’t forget about love for animals…

Glancing momentarily at the one book on the nightstand, he could see bookmark peaking out from it. “What book did you picked?”

Biting your lip, you also look at the book before placing your hands in your lap, playing with your fingers. “Would it be bad if I said Dracula?”

Hyunjin laughs, genuine smile on his lips and you couldn’t help yourself but marveling over it. “Interesting, I wonder why the sudden interest in vampires.” There was still the same smile on his face, though now teasing you.

You were so taken back by his reaction that your own lips started to tug at the corners. “Hey, don’t laugh.” You tsked, eyebrows furrowed. “It’s more interesting to why you even have this book in your library.”

“Certainly.” He nodded, still amused.

A sudden big gush of cold air flew from the still open balcony inside the room. It made goosebumps appear on your skin and just as quickly as your reaction to the sudden cold appeared on your body, the man before you took action upon seeing it. “Are you cold? I will close it.” Hyunjin didn’t even give you time to answer, walking to the windows to close it.

Your hungry eyes stared at his back and even from here you could see the muscles underneath the tight shirt. If only he knew that the shiver weren’t only from the cold. The vampire turn around slowly after closing the balcony, looking right at your laying figure. There was so much to say but nether of you knew where to start.

But you however had enough of this killing silence, feeling the way your heart skipped a beat after glancing at him. “I’m sorry but I was just going to bed and —“

“I understand.” He didn’t even look angry nor sad with your words, not like at the dinner. “I will talk to you some other time…”

You nodded again, still being slightly tongue tied. Again watching him walk away from you made you feel empty. Why were there so many mixed feelings? You really don’t know what you want from him…maybe the truth.

Just as walked pass your bed you stopped him with your hand raised. “Wait!” He immediately turned around, almost like waiting for you to say that. “Can I ask you something?” The man in question kept quiet, giving you room to speak.

You also went quiet, basking in the silence. The only noises being the wind banging on the closed windows and you could even hear the frequent dripping of water coming from the bathroom. To your surprise he still kept quiet and unknowingly to you also enjoying this moment. Maybe it was just because he could look at your figure so freely as you were to occupied with your thoughts. You always have to be the one to destroy every pleasant moments like these…

“That night if those men didn’t appear what would you truly do…I know that you already answered but—“

“I am failing to understand…”

Oh, but he did. He knew exactly what you were talking about.

“You were watching me before, syzing me up…” God, what are you doing, you two were doing so good and now you are messing it all up…

Your mouth was open still, both of you waiting for the million dollar question. But you couldn’t immediately form it, the glare he was giving you made you scared to even think about it. He was giving you a warning look but you still said it anyway.

“Were you going to drink my blood?”

A sneer falls over his features and you wondered how this same face could even form a smile minutes ago. “Why are you asking such question?” He tried to warn you to not go further but the damage was already done. Why can’t you leave things in the past? Was it because you were human that you couldn’t let go so easily?

You watch how his knuckles turned white around the column and you were afraid that he might crush it into pieces. What if that was your throat instead? “I just want to know…did you really have no intention of drinking from me?” You can’t be in the wrong for asking this…

“I can’t answer that.” Whispered Hyunjin, head hanging low and praying that you would just let this go for his and your own sake.

“Yes, you can.” You declared slowly, duvet falling over your body as you sit up to get closer to him. Was he shaking?

“No…”

Your scoff rings inside the room next, head shaking at his stubbornness. You both know the answer already but you needed to hear it to be sure. Maybe it could finally make you hate him…He on the other hand had a really hard time to contain himself. You don’t even know that you were playing with fire right now. Someone so afraid yet blindly teasing the snake with a bare foot at the same time.

“Just tell me damn it! Would you had killed me if they didn’t showed up?”

“No! I was just—“

“Just what?” The question comes out sharper than you intended.

Finally Hyunjin look at you. Long hair covered his eyes, shielding the vibrant color dancing in them. The silence now didn’t sound the same as before. It was exactly the silence before a storm. You suddenly realized what you had done but it was too late now. You completely turned him around. The way he looked right now, perfectly mirrored the way he had looked at you the very first night you met. “You’re—your blood.” He pulled his hand away from the column and even in the darkness you could see the dents in it from his fingers. “I’ve never smelled someone so delicious as you before.” Closing his eyes, a sigh dangerously close to a growl left him. “And you were just in the perfect position — all alone and oh so mesmerized.” Opening his eyes again, he listened to your loudly beating heart. “If they didn’t come…if you wouldn’t scream for help.” He stopped himself from going further, you both know that this confession was all you needed. “I didn’t kill you after that because I have never felt so bad about my victim before…and also seeing you in such pain — I couldn’t possibly continue it.”

Your face crunched up, his raw words bringing out the mentioned pain to the surface but you decided to stay strong for a little longer. “So you would’ve just killed your soulmate or whatever you call this and you wouldn’t even know.”

Next, so quickly that you even had time to blink, he was on you. From the end of the bed, he suddenly appeared before you. His body covered yours and you couldn’t do anything but look into his wild eyes. He was so so close, you could feel his breath fanning over your lips as he spoke up. “Be quiet.” He growled, his red eyes glaring into yours and after a long time you felt like fainting from fear again. Was this how his victims felt? Your chest that raised with your every breath touched briefly his but you were too afraid to move away.

“You’re not listening, I said vampires can sense the bond easily. So I apologize that your fucking warm fresh—“ His tongue trailed over his bottom lip slightly, glancing at the noticeable vein on your neck. “— pulsing blood pumping inside you is in the way, hypnotizing me so much that I wouldn’t even mind sucking every last drop.” He tilts his head at you. “You wouldn’t even mind…would you, Y/N?” His teasing tone was gone just as soon as it appeared and because of his words you didn’t even feel the hand bruising the skin of your leg.

The tears in your eyes couldn’t be contained anymore. “Sorry for not letting go of the past so easily, sorry for not forgetting that I met my so called soulmate the night I was almost raped and then killed by — you…” Spitting out the word, a pathetic whimper comes out next from you and not because of your crying but by the immense pain in your leg. His left hand gripped your right thigh so hard, that you couldn’t even find the will to fix the skirt of your nightgown that was now bunched up at your waist.

Something in him broke at your tears. What do he do? ‘What have I done’, you thought. The irises around his pupils cleared, face falling into shock. You have never seen such a raw emotion from him before. His now blue eyes glance at his hand. He never meant to bring you pain by his touch but the way your skin spilled over his fingers from how much he gripped it, made him sick to his stomach. He withdrew his hand, like you’ve been the one to burn him and when you sob out in relief he thought he will die again just by that godawful noise.

Both of you could see the obvious handprint on your skin, making you grasp the skirt of your nightgown, letting it fall over your exposed legs. “Get out…” You whispered, his eyes as wide as yours. “Get out!” Screaming the words at him, made Hyunjin almost fall to his feet before you and he had no other choice but to follow your orders.

‘What have I done?’, you thought again, swallowing your sobs. Maybe you really don’t deserve to be loved…

──────────────────────

author’s note:

for my lovey right here: @hanonlymeuu

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jeongtothein · 2 months

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SKZ TEXTS : WHEN YOU SIMP FOR ANOTHER MEMBER

bsf! gen! reader x hyung line !! (platonically)

Got this idea from someone else but i don’t know their @ 😞😞

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tokiiee · 11 months

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dating the ninth member — stray kids ( maknae line )

maknae line dating the ninth member : pairing ( maknae line ) x member!reader genre fluff, romance, blurb(?) cw gn!reader, lowercase on purpose ( archive )

han jisung ( 한지성 )

people are convinced you two are just the best friends of the group, the members who are the closest to each other, but truth is you’re dating! the only time there would be actual speculation of more going on would be you two in the background of vlogs, close together on a couch talking and laughing with each other. if your guy’s relationship was revealed though.. people would be surprised from how wrong they were about you two just being friends. but also they’d be equally expecting it because you guys were the members made for each other, you compliment each other’s personalities perfectly!

lee yongbok ( 이용복 )

oh em gee. he is not secretive! so obvious!! he isn’t even fazed or embarrassed when he realizes that he’s being super obvious either! he’ll openly lean in for a kiss before pretending to give you one or sometimes he’ll even be on stage and start running hand in hand with you, up and down the stage. he wants to reveal your guy’s relationship so bad!! oh, and dance practice with him is so fun and there is a very noticeable tension between him and you with all the quick glances and giggling every time you get within the same vicinity of each other ( he’s so cute )

kim seungmin ( 김승민 )

even though your guy’s relationship is secret for obvious reasons.. he shows his love for you in little secretive ways. during lives he’ll hold your hand in his lap or lay his head against your shoulder. when doing performances out of all of the members he’ll run and interact with you on stage, feeding into the fan’s suspicions, ( all suspicions are true ) but you can’t actually reveal your guy’s relationship so, why not subtly reveal it? ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝

yang jeongin ( 양정인 )

he can not keep it a secret! he’d accidentally reveal your guy’s relationship.. on a group live too!! and when everyone realizes it’s just an awkward five minutes of staring at eachother and trying to change the subject, but the comments are going crazy over it! moving along, when it all blows over and people forget about the “rumors” he promises to be more careful about that stuff! ‎≽ܫ≼

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orikiys · 9 months

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✿ ✿ 〞a better wingman

✰ genre : college au, best friends to lovers, fluff, angst and lame humor

✰ pairings : minho x reader

✰ warnings : breakups, heartbreaks (ofc), reader and minho are oblivious, oblivious pining, mentions of yn although it's just once

✰ word count : 6.8k+ words

✰ synopsis : lee minho, the guy you knew inside out comes to you for help everytime, and you can never deny him, nor your feelings for him.

one.

lee minho tells you that he 'accidentally' broke one of his mom's favourite vases and he tried to stick the pieces back together using the school glue. spoiler: he got a bad scolding and got grounded for a month.

he tends to do the most unexpected things. like buying his best friend, jeongin, a thanos one-piece swimsuit for his birthday or talking to himself even though you stand right in front of him. that for sure is minho for you.

so here you were, cycling to his dorm because 1) you're underage, thus you don't have a licence and 2) you're tired as it is 1 in the morning. the first thing you do every night is check your phone for about 30 minutes before heading to sleep. however, today seemed to be an unfortunate day as the moment your head came in contact with the pillow you were knocked out. not even an hour later, you heard various buzzing from your phone and you were on your feet before you knew it, cycling in the cold without any jacket because lee minho experienced his third heartbreak of the month.

punching in the code, you slide your shoes off and switch on the lights since you knew minho preferred to keep the lights off saying it helped him relax. what you didn't expect was to find him sitting on the couch, with his feet on the table and a bucket of popcorn in his hands as he watched the tv.

"seriously?" you called out in disbelief making the said guy's eyes divert to you in fear. he lets out a gulp and attempts to hide the popcorn but because of his not-so-clean fingers the popcorn ends up scattered all over the floor and the couch.

with a scoff you get crouch down to help him anyway knowing it would be a waste of time in arguing.

minutes later, the dorm looks presentable to say the least. you sit beside minho on the couch with the tv playing in front of you.

you turn your face towards him and glance at his features, trying to figure out whether or not he had a heartbreak.

people with heartbreaks would be sobbing on their beds, stuffing food in their mouth or re-watching a sappy movie under the blankets.

lee minho did one of those things, but he didn't cry. nope. it was as if today was a normal day. but you knew it wasn't. not when you saw minho's proclaimed girlfriend announcing her break up via social media.

with a sigh you finally pluck the courage to ask him,"what's wrong?" his expression hardens and he looks away from the screen and into your eyes but no words come out of him.

"you were right. she was a bitch," he mutters saltily, breaking eye contact and letting out a smile to let you know it was okay. but it wasn't.

being minho's best friend since grade 5 you knew him inside out. from his flaws to his laughs, you shared all of them with him.

minho drapes an arm over his eyes, finding the lamp too bright for his liking, "just tell me how you knew it."

he looks into your eyes for an answer, but honestly you didn't have one. it was always like that, you being his matchmaker but he ends it in not more than 2 weeks.

with every relationship of his, you lose hope that he would ever notice you as something more than a childhood best friend.

back to the girl, you knew minho didn't like people who like to show their life publicly on socials. neither did he like people who would fake their behaviour just to get someone like them. and that girl was the perfect example of the two things minho hated. yet, sometimes you do wonder if you ever fit in his ideal type.

"just a woman instinct maybe?" you laugh it off but you know the first flaw you ever find in minho's girlfriends is whether they can treat him like the way you treat him. you had a high self-esteem and you knew that. but it was the truth wasn't it?

"by the way," he begins to say, which draws you away from the spiral of thoughts, "you never told me how your date went."

date? you suppose you could call it one. but that would mean you're simply lying to yourself. how is it a date when all you thought during that time was what minho would do or what is he doing currently.

"it was great. we decided to meet up for a second one at the cinemas," you reply with a giddy smile and he shakes his head in disbelief though you swear there's a faint of a smile.

"cinemas? really? isn't that too cliche for a second date? if it was me i would take you to cat café or an ice skating rink."

if. if only you were one of minho's girlfriends you would. but you knew his taste in girls sucked and he usually went for the ones who would seem like total red flags to you.

"cinemas aren't too bad either!" you protest and turn towards him entirely, with raised eyebrows minho stares at you in a way that tells you there's no way in hell your standards are that low that they're practically kissing the ground.

"okay tell me, did he at least pull out a chair for you? did he even compliment you more than once?" you give him a pointed look as you try to change the topic. but all that is forgotten when you feel minho wrap his arm around you and pull you closer to him. so suddenly, that you malfunction. you can even hear his heart thumping loudly against his chest.

two.

you're very much aware that the guy sitting next to you is a creep. you regret it so much for even agreeing for a second date. but hey! at least the movie's good right?

and before you could even register what's happening, there stands lee minho with fingers wrapped around the guy's arm.

"i knew i sensed trouble the moment you agreed on a second date," minho mutters and glares at the guy before grabbing your wrist and dragging you away.

there are various questions that run in your head but you don't let them out loud.

"get in," he says, pointing to the bus that arrived. with a sigh you get in and sit down followed by minho.

the moment the bus departs you look at him, "care to explain what happened back there?" you weren't mad at him. he just saved you from that traumatic date. but you wanted to know why he did that.

minho as usual grabs your hand and traces his finger over your thumb, avoiding eye contact.

but then he whispers, "be thankful i saved you from that creep."

now it was your turn to be speechless. you knew minho would never give you a straight answer despite whatever occurs.

"i can save myself, okay? i don't need you to save me minho," he merely glances at you before muttering a half-hearted 'sure' and looking outside from the window.

it was as if a switch clicked in you the moment you received the reminder to buy face masks. it wasn't your usual routine but you figured it's good for some relaxation. and today, you definitely needed one.

“min," you tug at the hem of his sleeves catching his attention and he hums in response.

"you know i was wondering if-"

"stop dragging your words and just say what you need," despite him rolling his eyes you drop the bomb. a second later he looks at you as if you said you wanted uncooked ramen noodles with a peanut butter spread. yeah, let's not go there since those sucked.

"please min! if i don't apply my facemask today i'll apply make-up on you! or maybe i can even-" your voice gets muffled under his hand, the one he wrapped gently around your mouth making you automatically run out of words.

"fine, fine we'll go. just don't even mention that incident," his pleading eyes almost makes you laugh but then you remember the situation you were in, so you try your best to keep a straight face. at least until you reach the store.

minho hated that one incident that happened in grade 10. you two were classmates + besties so it was normal for you both to follow each other like a puppy. one day, just one day when you were absent, you missed minho embarrassing himself in front of a girl. the thing was, she asked minho to give a letter to her crush. but minho being the oblivious idiot he was, he consoled her after he rejected her, making her lose her mind.

from that day on, you teased him to death with every opportunity you were offered.

three.

the next time you meet up with minho is a week later. he’s already waiting for you outside your building, leaning against a lamp post and scrolling through cat videos on tiktok with two coffees in his hand, presumably one for you and the other for him.

when you exit your building, you feel your heart melt at the sight of him. his unruly hair, his favourite black graphic hoodie which you’re sure he’s worn for the 7th time this month. the hoodie was a gift from you while you were out on a shopping spree.

there’s times like these when minho feels as if you’re very observant of him. wherever you go, there has to be at least one thing that reminds you of him. whether it be a cute cat on the street or a bucket coat hanging outside a shop, minho is everywhere. this feels like the main reason you can’t get him off your mind. he’s practically snatching away your thoughts and filling it with himself, that sometimes you do wonder if that’s the case with him as well. but of course, you could never muster up the courage to ask him such a weird question.

he looks a little embarrassed, as if he wants the earth to swallow him up right then and there. you suppose it’s because he’s been standing there awkwardly, having to look at people in the passing while waiting for you.

the moment he spots you, his expression brightens and he practically skips to you, after sliding his phone in his pocket.

“took your lovely time as always didn’t you?”

“you’re just jealous because you had to get me a coffee today when usually it’s my habit.”

“oh please, that’s not true at all!” he exclaims trying to defend himself but there’s no use when you laugh at the boy making him flush.

there are multiple admirers lining up for your best friend, shaking as they make their way up to him just to say ‘hi’ or purposely standing near him during college events. it also doesn’t help that his whole friend group were the campus crush from their respective majors.

minho was handsome, there was no doubt. he had a good personality as well so it was no wonder that when people found out you were his best friend, they approached you almost daily just so you could set them up with minho. at one point it got so tiring that you told them off, at least now they don’t bother

minho on the other hand takes it to his advantage, just like he does every time you visit a cafe. he manages to get discounts on shops just because he attempts to ‘flirt’ with the shop owners. you’re very much sure that by now, he has almost the majority of them swooning over him. but then again, can you blame him for being so ridiculously good looking?

minho pushes you forward by placing a hand on your lower back, while his other hand is clutching his coffee, guiding you to walk ahead along the sidewalks of your university.

“do you want to grab some food?” he asks as if he didn’t just have his lunch. one thing about minho is that he may not show his affection by skinship but he treats you with meals almost every other day.

“min i just had my lunch and if i’m not wrong so did you. We’re gonna end up getting sick,” you remind him, making him groan and place his head on your shoulder. you’re very much aware that minho is close, so close that you can feel his breath on your neck. too close that you can smell his shampoo, and too close that you think you might explode if you were in this position for another second. jokingly, you shift forward making his head slide off. a glare is all you get as he follows you nonetheless seeming to forget the not-so-small incident

minho falls into step with you and throws an arm over your shoulder and he makes sure you’re on the safer side of the road, bumping you to move to the side

“nonsense, no one can say no to food. plus i’m paying so it’s a dea.”

you’re about to say your goodbye to your best friend, heels shifting to walk in the opposite direction when his hand easily wraps around your wrist, pulling you back to where he’s stood. you slap his hand away, “i’ll come with you only if you take the responsibility when i get sick and write down notes for me,” there’s silence surrounding the two of you before he clicks his tongue and lets out an eager nod making you grin.

“lead the way mister.”

you sigh out loud when you reach your usual outing spot, the korean bacon. the place is as usual least crowded during these hours which gives you the best opportunity to have great hot meals, served to you quickly. this was discovered by minho when he randomly entered the shop and found it isolated. since then the both of you hang out at these hours and especially on the weekdays since the shop owner is kind enough to let you both sit for long durations.

you and minho both greet the lady and she lets out a wide smile upon seeing the two of you, together as always.

“how are my favourite children doing?” she speaks, leaning over the counter to get a better look at the two of you.

“we’re doing good aunt. how about you? the place seems to be busier than usual nowadays,” minho chimes in and looks around making the lady nod in affirmation.

“yes, yes that’s true. my son introduced a new recipe for chilli bacon and people seem to love it. I’ll give you both a free meal of it. do you want something else?” after minho is done with taking both of your orders, he moves to settle back to wherever you’re seated when he spots jisung and changbin sitting at your table as well. he lets out a scoff as he out of all people should’ve known they both practically live here. changbin’s aunt is the shop owner so it’s no wonder he pops in for free food.

“not you two again,” minho groans out loud and places the plates in front of you. he takes a seat across from you and scowls at jisung who’s seated next to you. jisung simply smirks knowingly before shuffling closer to you making minho glare at him warningly and all changbin does is laugh at their antics.

“so to what do i owe this pleasure?” you question mockingly and turn towards jisung who clutches his chest dramatically, “oh dear yn i have tremendously missed you ever since our dear minho has kept you hidden.”

“i haven’t kept her hidden,” minho replies while digging for his food, making the other three follow him.

“so wanna know something that happened today?” changbin speaks up after chewing, making you look up at him expectantly.

“jisung gave someone his autograph!” you stare at him blankly not knowing whether to laugh or not.

noticing your expression, minho chuckles before speaking , “tell her the entire thing!” making changbin nod his head with excitement. changbin then proceeds to tell how a delivery guy asked for jisung’s signature for delivery purposes and jisung thought the guy wanted his autograph.

“seriously jisung i feel so bad for changbin,” you fake a pout but burst into laughter when jisung rolls his eyes despite a sheepish grin spreading on his face. your laugh causes minho to smile fondly as he stares at you. your laugh is contagious, and he knows it very well. he notices the way your eyes scrunch up when you laugh or the way you keep a hand over your mouth to muffle your laughter and the sight itself is so enchanting that minho would do anything to keep looking. but reminding himself that it may seem weird to you, he diverts his gaze back to jisung who’s trying not to strangle changbin for sharing his embarrassing incident.

on your way back home, changbin and jisung quarrel over who’s more embarrassing and the sight itself seems too amusing to you.

you giggle which makes minho raise his eyebrow and he follows your line of sight before letting out a chuckle, “they’re so weird aren’t they?”

his question makes you smile, “weird yes. but in a good way i suppose.”

there’s silence as you side by side in peace before minho rants to you about his day. he tells you how he missed his alarm and woke up an hour late. then he tells you how he managed to even miss the bus but thankfully he spotted chan who offered to give him a ride. but you know minho would’ve gotten in his car anyway. the way his eyes widen when he tells something that caused him to be frustrated or the way he makes gestures using his hand— all of this is too familiar to you. because it’s now become a habit of his to tell all these to you.

you look up at him and look away when he meets your gaze. it’s moments like these when your heart makes you realise that he isn’t just your best friend. he’s much more than that. and you would do anything to keep these feelings to yourself in turn of a precious friendship becoming distant.

minho gets cut off when jisung throws an arm over your shoulder and changbin does the same to minho, “how come only she gets princess treatment? shouldn’t i get the prince treatment too?” jisung pouts and looks at minho who pushes his face away making changbin laugh out loud.

“if you’re a prince then i’m the king. since i always outshine you because of my handsome visuals,” jisung and minho look at changbin blankly making you burst into fits of giggles.

“if you both are prince and king; then i am a cat!” minho chimes in with a smirk making you shake your head in disbelief.

“that you are!” changbin says with a giggle but he stops when he notices minho turns to him. and without a warning minho is running behind a panicked changbin.

it’s moments like these when you’re reminded just how happy you are to have him and his chaotic group of friends. and you wouldn’t change it for anything.

three.

there you were, back at finding guys instead of trying to find a way to win minho’s heart.

“i’m home!” he greets out loudly with two bags in his hands and he wiggles them teasingly before making his way over to the couch where you sat.

“guess what i got?” he asks, overly excited which makes you bite your lip as you fight to smile. playing along with his antics was your thing. and minho absolutely loved it when you did.

tapping a hand against your chin you begin, “is it a pokemon hat?” he shakes his head in denial but with every passing second his patience runs out and he stops you.

“you’re absolutely going to love it!” he winks before passing a bag over to you. immediately, you dig your hand in it and fish out the first thing you grab. upon seeing it you squeal out loud and throw yourself over minho who manages to catch you and laughs out loud when you mutter a chorus of thank you’s.

“see i told you! i saw these operation true love printed polaroids and i immediately thought of you! you told me how much you loved it,” your clutch the polaroids close to your chest and before you know it your eyes trail over his face, outlining every one of his features. and even though minho can feel your burning stare he doesn’t say anything and arranges the grocery he just brought,just the way you like it since he knows you hate when things are misplaced.

“ramen or pasta?” minho doesn’t even have to ask but he still does it out of formality and grins when you point at the stack of ramen packets. both of you are the worst cooks in the world. so the only way you can survive is by feeding off ramen packets, especially the 1+1 since it’s much more convenient as minho explained to you the last time.plus you get those scratch off lucky cards, and even though you have 0.001% of making it the scratching is satisfying plus it’s something to keep yourself busy in, other than ogling at minho.

minutes later you’re seated beside him and commentating on kdramas because you’ve got nothing to do.

“remind me again why you always crash my place?” you say while raising an eyebrow making minho look at you in an amused manner.

“firstly, i get you free things and secondly,” minho leans to you making you cower back in response, his mouth moves to your ear and he whispers, “you love me, don’t you?” the words get stuck in your throat and before you know it minho smashes a pillow against your head making you huff since he had a way of messing up your hair.

“minho! i just brushed my hair!” upon your whine he just merely shrugs, but now it’s his turn to whine when you throw a pillow at him, quite aggressively.

“oh you did not,” you let out a shriek when he throws you on the couch and tickles your sides making you laugh out loud.

“stop-! my tummy aches because of you,” you mutter keeping a hand on his wrist while the other is resting on your hand as you stare straight into his eyes. minho, surprisingly obliges and stops. you’re very much aware that your heart is beating loudly. but it’s probably because you two were playing around? right?

“get off you’re heavy,” you joke and slap his back when lays beside you.

the last thing you remembered was falling asleep in lee minho’s embrace with his arms wrapped around you.

it was just some platonic cuddling after all. right?

four.

when you knock on minho's door at 11 p.m he doesn't question it. he simply pulls you in his embrace and rubs your back in a comforting manner. it doesn't even matter to him that you're getting his favourite green shirt wet. all that mattered at the moment was you.

“part five?” It’s even harder when he does things like this, little by little making your heart feel whole again he questioned, pulling back to examine your expression

“more like the finale, i broke it off with him,” you mumble and throw your bag somewhere near the couch before plopping yourself on it. keeping a hand on your eyes you block out all the light and sigh tiredly.

minho's eyes follow every one of your moves and he crouches down to pick up your bag and places it on the table before pulling out a chair and sitting in front of you, “care to tell me what happened?”

and you do. you tell him everything about the guy being an asshole and yelling at you for every small thing. but you leave out the main reason for your break up. lee minho. the man you were dating knew you were head over heels in love with him, and when you forgot your anniversary but remembered minho's one year working at a cat adoption centre,he broke things off.

“that’s it? seriously? what is wrong with you and your taste in men?” minho replied with an exasperated sigh and ran a hand through his hair.

“it's not my problem guys don't show their true selves during the first date!” you defended yourself but you knew you were at fault. minho took in a deep breath and his hand found yours. he held your hand gently and intertwined your fingers before looking at them with a soft smile.

“you know, when i first met you i thought you were another one of hyunjin's friends who just came to say hi. but when you shared your lunch with me, I don’t know why it felt nice having a new friend. and you were just so so different, you know?” not once did minho look up to see your expression. his eyes stayed glued to your hands.

“and you tried to be a bitch to see if i wanted to be your friend or not. how childish,” you mutter, rolling your eyes and minho finally looks up at you. his expression however, is different today. it's serious. there's no hint of sarcasm neither a wink nor smile. he just stares at you for a full minute before saying, “how about you start your part 2 with me?” he questions leaving you utterly confused.

“part 2?” he nods in response and tucks your hair behind your ear before confirming, “part 2. part 1 was of us being friends. part 2 can be us being something more.”

if you were speechless the last time, you’re sure you've lost your voice by now. your wide eyes stare into his warm ones and he lets out a sad smile upon seeing this.

“can we try this for a month?” he questions and brushes and holds your hand tighter making you lick your lower lip nervously.

“it's okay if you say no-”

“sure,” you reply, cutting him off and there you see his genuine smile growing as he shows off his teeth before ruffling your hair.

the deed was done, all that was left was the outcome.

was it real? or was it just a dream? your eyes bore into the ceiling as you toss in the bed for the nth time. your mind was still occupied by the lingering touch of minho's hands near your hair, or near your hand, or maybe near your back. it was a warm, fuzzy feeling and although it did get you internally screaming for more, you knew you had to wait. at least till both of your feelings were mutual.

just then your phone dings and roll over the bed to check it.

it's a message from the said devil.

sleep well! ><

it read. with warmth creeping up your face you press a pillow to your face to muffle the squeal that escaped.

it was finally happening. the guy who you had been pining on for years, insinuated for something more. and in hell were you going to let this opportunity run loose.

five.

minho sighed for the upteemth time as chan continued giving him scoldings, telling him how he shouldn't keep his feelings to himself and let it out.

but poor mino, if he ever let them out so easily, the people around him would be paralysed with trauma. especially you. he knew confessing his feelings just after saying he wanted you to try would come off as a shock to you. would get scared? would you think he's a creep? or would you straight away reject him? minho shook his head to get rid of those thoughts when he overthinks.

“minho,” chan sighed and sat next to him. he kept a hand on minho's knees and patted it softly, “look… all i'm saying is just go for it. after all, you told us she likes you as well right?”

“i don't know anymore,” minho pressed his palms to his eyes in frustration and chan being the good friend he was, rubbed an arm soothingly on his back.

“listen up,” jisung announced loudly and there was a fixed expression plastered on his face. one that made chan gulp anxiously.

“you,” he began and pointed at minho who sat straight, curious on what was about to happen, “if you don't confess to her by next week i will.”

chan furrowed his brows in anger and stared at changbin in confusion who shrugged as if he had no clue. minho stared at jisung silently, not sure whether or not to take the younger's words seriously.

“she doesn’t like you,” minho protested calmly, though it looked like he was trying to contain himself.

“yeah sure. and the one she likes is being a coward and avoiding all his problems!" if this didn't anger minho, it would be a lie. chan held minho back, as he was about to walk to jisung. jisung merely let out a scoff, “how long are you going to hurt yourself like this? how long are you going to pretend that there's nothing going on between you two? even an outsider like me, knows that you two are not only friends as you claim to say. man up and confess to her dude before it’s too late.”

the door slammed loudly after jisung left. and minho just stared at the ground before he felt two arms wrap around him. he didn't protest and just buried his face in chan's neck.

who knew the next step would be even harder than the first?

six.

when lee minho told you he had great ideas for dates, you didn't know if he actually meant it or not. but upon the first date, you're blown away when he takes you stargazing.

“none of your dates did this, right?” he asks with a cocky grin over his face even though he quite knows the answer. if you weren't too busy gawking at the view you would've shut him up.

“how did you even find this spot?” you ask ridiculously, making him smile and shrug in response, “it's minho's talent, sweetheart.”

sweetheart? did he like calling you that? yes. did you like him calling you that? yes. a thousand times yes. you clear your throat and avoid the way your face flushes and instead focus on the arrangements minho made.

the glow of the moon was faint, yet still predominantly illuminated the night sky. you let your eyes wander over to where minho sat on the grass with his arms supporting him and a carefree look on his as he closed his eyes in relief.

“you know i can feel you staring,” he mutters with an amused smile and despite his eyes being close he can sense when you walk closer to him and brush his hair back revealing his bare forehead.

“you look handsome today,” your attempt to flirt fails when he opens his eyes and looks at you with curiosity, making you continue.

“what I mean is that-”

“shh! enough talking. sadly, the night isn't too young today,” he cuts you off with a pout making you huff and despite that you oblige. you both lay beside each other, with his hand on your stomach as you clutch it and trace patterns on it soothingly.

despite the moon’s hazy presence, you are persistent enough to wait outside on the cold ground to watch as the transparent clouds roll by to reveal distant stars. grom your frame of reference, you can easily spot each beautiful constellation, seeming to waltz throughout the sky. back at home, such patterns couldn’t even dare to be seen in the sky; light pollution was prominent from where you came from. nevertheless, you feel the loving presence of the stars around you, knowing all too well that you are not alone. minho is always by your side. always.

you have always seen couples giving each other promise rings to stay with each other forever. to love each other endlessly and forever. to cherish each other forever. but, you never understood it. you always had a different way of approaching perspectives which were already meant to be.

you know that people can change overtime. so you also know that feelings can change as well. what about the promises then? would forever turn into a long forgotten past? and you were afraid of it. afraid of being forgotten.

with a sigh you try to get these thoughts out of your head and inch closer to minho who immediately wraps his arms around your shoulder and pulls you to his chest.

“what's on your mind, pretty?” he hums softly.

“what's on your mind with all these nicknames?” you retorted back teasingly, making him chuckle in response.

“nothing deep. except maybe i'm really thankful to have you,” he turns his head at the same time you do and you're very much aware of the minimum distance between you two. your noses are practically touching, and you can even see the reflection of the moon in his orbs. and it's surprising because he's your star. the one that shines the brightest in the entire sky. and the one that has always grabbed your attention no matter what. your fond staring is interrupted by lee minho, “close your eyes.”

“why?”

“just close them.”

“the last time you told someone to do that, you dunked their head with a bucket full of cold water,” you accusingly jab a finger at his chest, recalling when changbin was oblivious to his pranks and had fallen for them pretty easily. minho smiles a bit but looks at you back again.

“don't you trust me? just do it!” he whines making you huff out loud.

“jeez, fine. no murdering me okay?” you joke but immediately shut your eyes when he glares. you feel him slip something cold on your neck and he lifts your head up after adjusting the size.

“okay, you can open them now,” minho announces and rubs his hands nervously together when you open your eyes.

“since you can't see the necklace by yourself as it's a bit short, i clicked a photo,” minho flashes the bright screen against your face, making you scrunch your eyes as you try to read it clearly.

you feel yourself freeze momentarily, staring at the screen in front of you. you knew minho was creative with his gifts but you definitely didn't expect him to give you a necklace with the pendant of a paper that had been attempted to straighten but there were faint marks of it being crumpled.

as you stare at it for longer minho decides to speak up, “yeah, it's that same paper i crumpled and threw at the back of your head when i wanted to confess. but you, my idiot, thought it was for another girl. it was pretty dumb of me to not mention your name and i've been keeping it with me ever since, in hopes one day it would come in use. looks like today's a lucky day for me,” it leaves you speechless, looking up at him but he instantly breaks eye contact.

he’s wordless as he encases it, and it’s only now you see that something’s different about him. it's funny how two oblivious and idiotic friends failed to recognize their own feelings. this is a story you can tell your kids, you thought to yourself. but your heart squeezes at the fact he cherished so dearly.

you’re sure the nudge in your heart is easily seen in your expression. he looks so beautiful as always. his face shines due to the moon's light and it's hard not to stare. it’s even harder when he does things like this, little by little making your heart feel whole again. his smile seems too attractive today, and his hair is styled differently as well. It’s even harder when he does things like this, little by little making your heart feel whole again. he is the last piece of puzzle which you were finding ever since. though, the journey to it was a bit tricky.

“i'm really happy as well. to be witnessing these stars with you.”

he makes your heart ache with warmth and cheeks ache with laughter. you're sure he's the one and you lean over to him, wrapping your hands gently around his neck.

minho's ears flush at the action but he follows your lead, resting an arm over your waist to steady you as your upper body leans into his.

there’s a look on his face when he looks at you, and you only realise it now—the look he reserves for his cats, and his obsession over 1+1 ramen noodles. there is no better feeling than having the hope of reciprocation.

and with a soft smile lingering on your lips, you dip your head slowly while looking into his eyes for any signs of disagreement but there's none. seeing you take your sweet time, he impatiently captures you in a sweet kiss. his lips mould with yours perfectly, as if you were born for this. as if you were both meant to be. his lips were warm and soft. they parted slightly, allowing your tongue to slip inside.

your eyes flutter close after confirming it wasn't too good to be a dream. pulling back, he let his forehead rest against mine and lets out a soft laugh.

“i love you so much you know that?” the words slip his mouth and he lets out a smile after finally having said it. almost as if this was something he had been wanting to say for a very long time. you look into his eyes, searching for any sign that would indicate any teasing, but you don’t find anything. you only find his eyes sparkling with something someone would name as mischief. but knowing him, you know it's happiness. and affection. and perhaps even engulfed with love and admiration.

"i love you too. so so much," falling in love with him was the easy part; it's admitting to yourself that it happened that's hard. you see you've had these very efficient defences for so long and you didn't even notice them. how rude. he thought they were meant for others and he had his own door. he could ask why, but what's the point? he's here and you're so glad, even if you're sometimes hiding, imagining a distance instead of seeing you right there.

he loves you in the way a puppy loves; devoted, playful, trusting. he guesses he should be ashamed of that somehow; aren't we all supposed to be tough? yet he prefers to be strong; strong enough to risk being broken all over again, to love again, full knowing his own fragility. he's known enough heartbreaks enough to shatter anyone's mind, to leave your soul feeling like dust in the wind and your body unwilling to live. but, you my love, you are worth my life and all that he has left is yours.

and although he doesn't say this out loud, he wishes to say more in the near future. he wishes to do more in the near future. he wishes to hold you in his arms and talk all night long, until the sun rises. or to dance with you under the rain and kiss, right after. he wants to bake your favourite cake even though he doesn't know how. and mostly, he wants to love you in every bit of it. with every breath, he wants to love you tremendously more. and he wishes to engulf you in his warmth. that's how lee minho truly loves.

“I must say jisung's advices were never wrong,” his touch still lingered. like the smell of earth after rain, or like the leftover foam after an emptied down cup of coffee. like that feeling of warmth after you're burrito wrapped in a blanket during winters. it's all too familiar to you. but yet, all too special that you want them to keep replaying no matter what.

you've never been this happy. never felt like the skies could ever do wonders like this. but with minho, everything has a way of becoming special. from unspoken thoughts to little giggles under the duvet during snowy days. or from late night runs to the convience store to picking out each other's outfits.

all of it will be repeated. just with a twist of part two. and you will always have lee minho, right by your side. forever.

215 notes · View notes

daceydeath · 1 month

Text

Cigarettes and Cliches (Part 7)

Pairing: Lee Felix x Reader

Word Count: 4.9k

Genre: Collage AU, Slow Burn Romance

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, swearing

He was the most impractical guy for you to be interested in the incredibly handsome cliché bad boy who collected girls like trophies. As hard as you wanted to stay away you couldn't even if it might cost you everything and leave you heartbroken you couldn't ignore him

There was no way you could ask for Innie's input on what to wear on your date, since you weren't even sure where you were going or what you would be doing and especially since he was not going to approve of you going on said date with Felix. Now would have been a good time to ask Nali's opinion or advice if she hadn't turned out to be the worst friend you could have ever made. So your next logical idea was to go through your socials to see what other girls wore on their dates with their boyfriends to give you an idea of what you should look like or how much effort you needed to put in without overdoing it.

You went to sit in the lounge so that you didn't look like you were hiding yourself away as Jeongin eventually surfaced from his room looking sheepish and he and Seungmin started planning their night out.

"Did you want to come with us again tonight? We will make sure one of us will be with you all the time" Jeongin asked, still looking dusty from the night before.

"No I think one party everyday is a little too much for me" you sighed looking at him "Maybe one next week".

"Ok we can live with a maybe for now" he grinned as Seungmin rolled his eyes as you phone beeped.

Ok how does a movie and a walk down by the river sound baby? You read the message twice before you slowly typed a reply so you didn't look too excited in front of Seungmin and Jeongin so you thought for a moment before sending it.

That sounds great Felix what time and where should I meet you?. Movies and walks were mostly casual so you didn't need to dress up and have too many questions asked about where you were going.

I'm going to pick you up baby, If the others have a problem with it they can just deal with it.

They can just deal with it, you read the words again and again before you realized that you should probably answer him so you quickly agreed and went back to thinking about what you would wear and what you would tell the boys when Felix showed up to take you out on a date out of the blue. Seungmin and Jeongin were still talking about the party when your brain tuned you back into the conversation.

"Next party we will need to dress you in less attractive clothing too to keep you a little more hidden from drunk idiots" Jeongin nodded seriously

"Or I could come and find one of you or the others to help me get a ride home, surely no one is going to bother me with one of you with me" you smiled unsure if that was the right response to keep them happy.

"Actually that would be better" Seungmin grinned "find either me or Innie or any of the others even if it's Felix or Hyunjin they will always try to keep you safe and will wait for you to get in a taxi or something before they go back to partying".

"So are we cooking before you go or ordering in?" you asked cheekily hoping you wouldn't need to cook before you go out.

"We were going to meet Han and Changbin for dinner before we hit the party so you can have whatever you like" Jeongin winked as though you would get up to all sorts of mischief being left alone to make your own dinner. You chuckled thinking that he had no idea what you were going to get up to once they left even though to be honest you were slightly nervous about that yourself if you were being honest.

You had picked out an outfit while you pretended you were cleaning up and Seungmin and Jeongin were getting ready so that they had no clue you were up to something. It made you feel like you were in a TV drama sneaking out of the house to meet the star crossed lover who would whisk you away to his castle as opposed to just meeting Felix but it made your heart race the same way his smile did. You were still lost in your head when you heard Seungmin calling your name loudly, shaking the romantic fantasizing from your mind, you opened your door confused as to why he was yelling.

"Sorry Seung, what's wrong?" you smiled tilting your head.

"You ok? you didn't answer when I called out to you" he furrowed his brow slightly scrutinizing you.

"I was in the bathroom" you lied instantly hoping he would drop it.

"Sorry" he scratched his head as he backed away from your bedroom door "we're going now just wanted to let you know"

"Well I will try to survive without you both" you teased smiling as he walked towards to door "don't bring any psychos home with you".

"Oh, fuck off" Seungmin grinned as Jeongin laughed from the hall before you heard them both putting on their shoes and the door opening and closing. You smiled to yourself suddenly feeling a weight fall away from your shoulders about how exactly you would have explained dating Felix to the pair of them so suddenly.

Getting yourself ready you sat fiddling with your jeans as you tried to distract yourself from your nerves but flicking TV channels and eventually settling on an episode of a drama that you couldn't pay attention to. After what felt like a lifetime the door buzzer rang sending a spike of nervous excitement straight through your heart as Felix appeared on the small screen looking as dangerously handsome as always. Pressing the buzzer to let him in you told yourself to not wait at the door for him to know instead bouncing on the balls of your feet at the opposite end of the hall staring at the door instead. When Felix did knock on the door your heart skipped a beat, his eyes soft as he stepped into the apartment cupping your jaw and kissing you softly.

"You look gorgeous baby" he smiled reaching for your hand to intertwine your fingers "are you ready to go?".

"Yes Lix" you smiled back feeling your cheeks heating up as he looked you up and down.

"Do you need to say goodbye or anything?" he whispered cheekily looking past you up the hallway.

"No the boy left early to meet the others" you grinned letting him lead you from the apartment and towards the elevator. You traveled down to the ground floor with Felix's arm wrapped around your waist holding you to his side gently which continued until you got down the several blocks it took to get to the movie complex only letting you go to buy your tickets and popcorn which he insisted on carrying until you were both seated in the back of the cinema.

"You know you didn't even tell me what we were seeing, Lix" you teased softly taking a few pieces of popcorn and popping one into your mouth.

"Well I remembered that you liked actions and thrillers but there aren't any good thrillers so it is going to be John Wick" he admitted the corners of his lips quirking up hen your mouth formed a silent o.

"You remembered that?" you whispered as the lights dimmed around you for the previews to begin.

"I try to remember everything you say" he admitted sultrily leaning in to whisper in your ear, the feeling of his breath on you skin making your skin erupt on a wave of goosebumps as he moved the armrest that sat between you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders.

You sat in silence for the film enjoying as much as you could of both what was happening on the screen and the warmth and feeling of Felix breathing beside you for the almost three hours it took for the movie to end. But even then you only managed to focus on half of the plot as you spent the other half having to focus on how to remain acting natural. Once the lights came back on and the credits rolled Felix his you with another one of his dazzling smiles.

"Do you still want to go for that walk by the river or would you like me to take you back home?" He asked genuinely, seeming happy to do either option depending on how comfortable you were.

"I think I would like to go for that walk Lix" you bit your lip slightly hoping that this was the answer he was wanting to hear.

"If my baby wants to go for a walk then we will go for a walk" he teased holding out his hand for you to take as he began leading you from the cinema. You noticed a few girls stare at Felix as you walked past them and back out onto the street their faces turning into a frown when they saw him holding your hand. He seemed oblivious but it dimmed your smile slightly. You knew they were wondering how someone like him could have any interest in someone like you and that hurt you a little but when Felix squeezed your hand gently as you began to walk towards the river you couldn't help the little flutter that erupted in your chest.

Walking hand in hand for the next few blocks that would take you to the riverfront you decided that making conversation would prevent you being too awkward about this being a first date with anyone let alone Felix.

"So what exactly did you plan on telling Seung and Innie when you picked me up tonight?" you asked bashfully looking up at him.

"Well" he paused for a moment still smiling "I was thinking that I was just going to say that I wanted to make sure you were alright after the party, but honestly I hadn't really thought about it" he admitted meeting your eyes briefly before looking ahead once more.

"Well at least you're honest" you sighed thankful that the boys had been out when you left the apartment.

"In truth I figured they would be in too much shock to actually say anything and that we would have escaped before they snapped out of it" he chuckled making you smile in relief.

"I mean they probably would have been shocked for ages that you wanted to take me on a date" you shrugged smirking at the thought of them standing in the hallway with their mouths agape

"And why wouldn't I want to take my smart and beautiful girlfriend on a date?" he teased nudging your shoulder playfully as you entered the park walking between the large gates that separated the gardened area from the street

"I didn't mean it like that Lix I meant they would have been shocked that I had a date" you back peddled quickly looking up at him with wide eyes "I didn't mean they would be shocked at you going on a date"

"I know baby I was teasing" he soothed pulling you closer to wrap his arm around your shoulders and you let the movement lull the conversation for a while

You had made sure you wore a light sweater so that you wouldn't be too cold on the waterfront and you were glad you had as the wind picked up to a chilly breeze as you walked together under the fairy lights that were strung through the trees on the riverwalk. You hadn't really checked the weather but you knew at this time of year the breeze was always cool at night obviously Felix hadn't either as you realized the clouds were gathering overhead much quicker than normal. Looking up at the sky frowning Felix muttered something under his breath before turning to you

"Looks like we're running out of time baby" he sighed wrinkling his nose slightly as you nodded feeling disappointed as the clouds had finally blocked out all of the stars.

"I guess we will save this for the next date?" you smiled softly which made his eyes light up.

"Yes we will absolutely save this for the next date or maybe the third date?" he smirked as you tried to hide your excited smile. Walking back towards the park gate you thought you felt the first spot of rain but you weren't sure, however, this changed when the skies suddenly opened up above you and rain began pouring down on you both.

"Fuck" Felix swore loudly tucking you into his side and wrapping his jacket around you as he guided you under a large tree "We can go back to my place its only a block from here and when it stops I'll get you a cab home". You looked at him blankly for a moment unsure of what to say to not sound like a fool or ungrateful.

"This isn't some kind of ploy I promise" he reassured you quickly noticing how your expression had changed "I just don't want either of us to catch a cold and it's quite a walk to your place from here and if we try to get a cab we will get even more drenched than walking to my place" he reasoned.

"It's ok Lix I know you won't do anything I don't want you to" you smiled gently your brain catching up with what he was saying.

"We can dry off there and wait out the rain and most of the way there is covered so we won't get too wet" he gestured to his already soaking wet hair.

"Lets go Lix, lead the way" you urged, letting him continue to hold you as close to you as he could to try to keep you dry and warm as the pair of you darted your way from cover to cover for the 5 minutes it took to get to his place. Quickly making your way through the lobby and into the elevator you were surprised when a doorman appeared as the door to the lift opened on the 15th floor who Felix waved at before leading you to his front door and letting you in helping you to slip off your shoes before going to find you some towels for your hair and clothes.

You had known that Felix, Hyunjin and Minho shared an apartment, Seungmin had mentioned it to you ages ago, but you didn't realize how nice of an apartment it would be. They lived in the river district that was considered one of the highest valued areas in the city and their apartment overlooked not only the river but parks that you had just been walking in. Standing on the tiles of the kitchen floor to avoid dripping water on the carpet you could see the lights of the city through the massive lounge room windows as you waited for Felix to return carrying towels and something that looked like clothing.

"I'll show you to the bathroom and you can change into these before we get your clothes in the dryer" Felix suggested handing you the pile of fabric and leading you into the bathroom while he cleaned up the drips on the tiled floor.

Closing the door behind you, you took in your surroundings. It was a much nicer bathroom than yours. The tile looked like actual marble and it was large enough to have an actual tub and a double sink. Slowly you put the towel down on the cabinet before you realized that Felix had given you a pile of his clothes, sweatpants, t shirt and the hoodie you had seen him in the morning you spoke to him in the gardens. Shaking the memory from your mind you peeled your wet sweater over your head grateful that you hadn't gotten soaked to the bone so at least your bra was still mostly dry, you wrapped your hair in the towel and squeezed as much water as you could from it before changing into the pants and t shirt before opening the door and finding Felix waiting for you his eyes glazing over slightly when he saw you.

"I'll just need you to put these in the machine hopefully they won't take too long to dry out" you smiled shyly holding up the towel and your sweater and jeans but Felix didn't react " Lix?" you asked, tilting your head to watch him and shaking your clothes in front of him.

"Sorry, just got a bit lost in how good you look in my shirt" he replied, clearing his throat slightly and reaching out to grab the wet items as your cheeks burned. "Did you want to hang in the lounge and watch another movie or get some food?" he continued his signature smile returning.

"Yeah sounds good" you nodded trying to play it cool and walking yourself into the lounge to wait for him to return. You sat on the large plush couch and began fiddling with the bottom of the shirt, the soft dark fabric making you feel incredibly comforted despite your awkwardness.

"Did you want me to order us any particular food?" Felix questioned as he walked back into the room as you realized for the first time that he too was in sweatpants and a white t shirt and looking like he should be in a magazine pictorial.

"Whatever you want Lix" you smiled as he sat down beside you "I'm not fussy". He chuckled softly in response and ordered you something quickly before throwing his arm around your shoulders and pulling you into him and causing you to yelp in surprise. The action seemed slightly less practiced to his usual moves, making you pause.

"Sorry baby" he laughed musically "just wanted you close to me" he grinned turning the TV on and selecting one of the streaming services they had to find something to watch. He settled on a drama that you hadn't seen but you didn't care you knew you were not going to be paying much attention to it anyway just like the movie from earlier in the evening.

"Lix?" you asked tentatively tilting your head back to lean against his chest and look at him studying his facial expression.

"Hmm" he hummed in response, his eyes on the screen in front of you.

"You know I don't think this is a ploy to get me to sleep with you right?" you almost mumbled feeling a little embarrassed that he still might think that after your hesitation earlier "So you don't need to be extra careful with me".

"You sure baby?" he smiled sweetly finally looking at you his eyes searching your own to be sure you meant what you said "I don't want to make you uncomfortable and also I've um... how do I actually put this?..." he trailed off his brown creasing slightly and making your anxiety spike "I've never brought anyone here before".

"I'm sorry what?" you almost spluttered your anxious feeling turning to confusion as to how one of the members of the man whore trio hadn't brought any women to his apartment before.

"Well this is where we live I always said I would only bring girls I was really serious about here" he admitted a pretty pink dusting of blush appearing on his freckled cheeks. Your heart was pounding so hard you were sure he would be able to hear it, trying to process that he insinuated that you were special to him and that you were the only one to be special to him in all his time sleeping around. All you could manage was to open your mouth to say something but nothing came out which Felix took as his moment to gently place his lips on yours kissing you sweetly his plush lips feeling perfect against your own. The moment however, was short lived as the door buzzer chimed to let you know that the food order had arrived. Untangling himself from you he went to collect the food from the lobby of the building leaving you to contemplate what he had just told you.

Felix had ordered from your favorite bakery and you were very happy to tuck into one of their chocolate filled croissants as he watched you smiling enjoying the look of bliss on your face. After eating and drinking everything he had ordered you found yourself still held captive by the sound of the rain still pattering against the large windows and it was well past midnight by this point which made you a little uneasy again.

"What's wrong baby?" Felix asked you tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, while you sat with your legs across his lap

"It's still raining" you sighed before looking at him and giving him a shy smile "do you think my clothes will be dry by now? I should probably get home"

"I'll check for you" he nodded, moving your legs carefully before making his way to the laundry room while you packed up the food containers and took them into the kitchen to sort.

"Fuck" you heard him curse loudly before you walked back around to the lounge to find him walking back in his hand running though his hair.

"What's happened?" you blinked unsure of what the problem was.

"I'm sorry baby, really I put your clothes in the dryer with mine and I didn't start the machine, I'm so sorry" Felix apologized quickly looking annoyed with himself "But I can get you home in my clothes or you could stay for a little while longer they should only take like an hour to dry"

"Lix I can't go home in your clothes if Seung or Innie see me I'll never be able to explain it" you sighed, worrying your lower lip nervously.

"Then stay here, we can watch another movie in my room so that if either of the guys come back they won't drunkenly annoy us or become a pair of menaces" he smiled tentatively a ghost of his smile gracing his lips.

"One more movie can't hurt Seung and Innie are probably both too smashed to even know I'm not home yet" you nodded making a smile bloom on Felix's face.

"Come on then, I'll put another action movie on as long as you let me cuddle you" he waggled his eyebrows suggestively at you making you giggle. Felix was being incredibly patient with you and you knew it but you appreciated that he wasn't going to push you into anything you weren't ready for so it was an easy decision to follow him to his room you trusted him.

You stood in his bedroom looking from the desk that you could tell was used purely for gaming judging from the custom keyboard and multiple monitors, to the stupidly large TV attached to the far wall, the shelves that contained random figures and gaming consoles and finally his bed which he was now sitting on looking at you curiously.

"Is this the first time you have had someone like me in your room?" you asked, feeling suddenly shy at the idea of being the first girl in this room.

"You mean are you the first girlfriend I've had in my bedroom?" he chuckled teasingly, you couldn't help but preen at the term girlfriend even though he had called you that before. "Yeah you are, first one in this room and first one in my bed" he smiled softly making you swallow loudly.

"So what did you want to watch?" you asked changing the subject as smoothly as you could not failing to notice the slight smirk gracing his lips as you made your way to sit next to him on the bed.

"I don't know I figured we could get comfy then decide" he shrugged pulling you further onto the bed and making you laugh. After a few awkward moments of figuring out where each of you would fit you settled on his left side sitting against the headboard leaning against him as he scrolled through some movies and randomly pressed play. The opening scene was a bank robbery with the villains in ski masks brandishing shot guns and police cars racing to the bank but you were already distracted by Felix drawing patterns on the inside of the wrist he was holding in his lap. The trace of his fingers sending small electric shocks through your skin and straight to your heart after a few minutes he lifted your hand to his lips kissing your wrist lightly and making you gasp.

"I know I said watch a movie but I would prefer to kiss you" he whispered "if that's ok". Instead of answering him you turned your head to face him almost brushing his lips with yours silently giving him permission.

"You're so beautiful" he murmured, closing the gap between you and gently pressing his lips to yours, the softness against your own making you melt into him slightly. Felix quickly but gently maneuvered you so you were now straddling his lap, his hands cupped your jaw as he deepened the kiss, his tongue tracing the seam of your lips seeking entrance to your mouth which you gave him enthusiastically. Felix's kisses were less intense and more sensual than the last time he kissed you, making you moan softly into his mouth.

"God I love the noises you make, so pretty" he breathed against your lips as you parted for air.

"Lix" you panted, feeling like your head was spinning.

"I've got you baby" he mumbled, connecting his lips back to yours, your hands moving on their own, one threaded its way into his hair and the other grasping his shirt to anchor yourself to him, your hips pressing against his crotch as you desperately tried to get closer to him. You had no idea how much time passed from when he first kissed you to when he finally pulled back from you pushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear.

"We need to stop now baby" he panted quietly, his chest rising and falling rapidly against your own "I won't be able to behave myself if we keep going". You flushed with embarrassment quickly moving to get out of his lap and sit back on the bed beside him.

"I'm sorry" you groaned, covering your hands with your face making him laugh.

"So cute" he chuckled, pulling your hands slowly away from your face and leaning in to kiss the tip of your nose. "You did nothing wrong baby, I just need to make sure I don"t cross any lines".

"Thank you Lix" you smiled shyly, looking up at him through your lashes.

"The things you do to me baby" he shook his head taking a deep breath wrapping you back up in his arms but in a much less compromising position before he started the movie again.

You didn't remember falling asleep but you must have because when you opened your eyes you were still in Felix's bed but you were alone and the morning light was filtering into the room between the gaps in the curtains. Sitting up you realized that you were still dressed in his clothes but that your clothes sat on his computer desk folded neatly and waiting for you shifting yourself out of the bed you stretched and padded your way across the carpeted floor to his bathroom knocking but finding it empty you went inside to change and clean yourself up a little before you would have to make your way home and hopefully be able to play off your being absent as going for an early morning walk. Making your way towards the lounge you were made aware it was no longer just you and Felix in the apartment as several voices were talking all at once. Pausing you waited to see if you should show yourself or hide yourself back in the bedroom.

"You were the one that suggested the rule mate" Minho complained, his voice rough from the night before but still obviously annoyed.

"We agreed there were no random girls in the apartment so what makes this one different?" Hyunjin added blandly.

"This isn't like that" Felix defended his voice exasperated as he tried protecting you in your absence.

"Then what is it like? There is no way it's her in your room right now" Minho continued his voice getting louder as he teased.

"Thanks for the boost in confidence" Felix groaned, sounding particularly done with what must have been an ongoing joke.

"I swear if you don't get your shit together and get together I'm going to steal her" Hyunjin declared cackling as he sounded like he moved quickly from the room.

"You're both arsehole you know that" Felix called after them as he walked towards where you were standing. Moving yourself further down towards his bedroom door you decided to make it look like you had just stepped out of his room

"Morning baby" Felix beamed as he saw you in his doorway pulling you into a cuddle.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep Lix" you mumbled nuzzling into him softly.

"It's alright baby but let's get you home while the idiots here are showering" He raised his eyebrows to indicate behind him.

"Lets but can I borrow a hoodie weather app says it's going to be cold this morning?" you ask watching his eyes light up.

A/N: I'm Sorry this has taken so long but I lost my steam for a while but I'm back now :) Once again thank you for reading my work and your likes, reblogs and comments are amazing xx

Taglist (open): @christopher-bangnaldoskzz, @armystay89, @damnyouficc, @roamingpolar, @bakedlilgoonie, @shiy, @is2cb97, @beautifulixr, @skyhold-tara, @army-stay-noel, @skizzel-reblogs, @facelesswrittes, @animehideout, @mrsseals16, @honey-pop, @fawnpeaks, @leeknowinggg, @uno7, @seungminluv3, @obeythemasters, @tanzen-ist-gold, @choisoorin

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cataclysticosmonaut · 8 months

Text

a recap of 2022’s inktober

#art #artist on tumblr #illustration #fanart #digital art #stray kids #lee felix #lee yongbok #gerard way #my chemical romance #mcr #watcher #ghost files #ryan bergara #shane madej

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booksndpoetry · 24 days

Text

Letting Go

m.list

A Lee Felix Fanfic

A/N: Here it is, like I promised. Loads of thanks to the lovely @hyunverse for helping me proofread this, as well as for tolerating my rambling. This is my first real attempt at angst, so I'd love to know your thoughts about it. Happy reading!

WC: 4.5k words

Genre: Angst, fluff

Characters: Lee Felix, Female Reader, Tears, Bags of chips, Changbin, and the butt-hunters of Stray Kids.

Triggers/Warnings: Break up, Exes, Breakdowns, Heartbreak, and (Implications of) situational depression.

“When you love someone, you have to let them go. If they come back to you, they’re yours. If they don’t come back to you, they were never yours.” – Anonymous

You know he was lying just to protect you, but why did it hurt all the same? It was Felix you were talking about. It hurt because he’d never raised his voice while talking to you, even that time when you almost damaged his gaming console. Not even by an octave when he was upset or fazed.

And now he was yelling. You couldn’t help it. Fat, angry teardrops fell from your eyes. You didn’t want to cry, but your heart loved him a little too much to go down without a fight.

“Please don’t do this to me, to us. We can make it work. We will.” You were begging him at this point, but you couldn’t care less about it. You were willing to get on your knees if he would change his mind.

But Felix just roughly swallowed, his words forgotten. He couldn’t do it anymore, he told himself. Not when you were crying, begging for him to stop. You were his, and he was yours, he knew he’d be damned if he hurt you willingly. But he had to, there was no other plausible option when the both of you would never ask of the other to do something so …accommodating, like leaving one’s career for the other person.

You would never forgive yourself if he derailed his entire life, his passion just to be with you. And he knew. But it still hurt. That’s how pain is. It pricks you anew every time, even though you know what is it that’s going to happen. So, he bit the bullet and landed the final blow.

“But I don’t want to make this work. I don’t want to lead you on with false hope when I have no intention of returning” To you. The unspoken words rang clear in the air.

He whispered them like a forbidden curse, like a nightmare that cannot be controlled as it forcibly claws out sleep from the innocent hearts of children. You felt as though your entire being was doused in ice-cold water. That evening, you were anxious for the first time in years when he told you to meet him at an empty park, not at your home, to talk about something important. That anxiety grew stronger with his words, about how it was right all along regarding the fact that he was leaving you. You still couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that Felix, your soulmate, your one true person was leaving you because he had to move somewhere else where his work was entailed. It took a second to fully sink in, and when it did, you physically heard your heart shatter. Now you understand. Why he was so insistent on ending it? Because it was inevitable that it would end. He might have been the only person you envisioned yourself with in the future, but for him, you were only a memorable lover. Not easy to forget, but not impossible to move on from either.

“Okay,” you said, voice weak.

What else were you supposed to say? You’d promised to never come in the way of each other’s successes. You had to keep that promise, it was the only one that mattered now. Because it was the only promise still holding true, binding him and you when there was nothing else between you two.

“Okay,” you say again, voice unwavering this time. “I’ll let you go now” and you walk away, just as thunder sounds in the distance and raindrops start pelting down on you harshly, like a thousand arrows aimed to pierce you apart. But there was no need for that. You were already in shreds.

As you walk further, hands slightly shivering from the cold of the rain, you hear something faint. Felix was saying something. You turn around and he catches up to you, breathing heavily.

“At least let me take you home. You’ll catch a cold.” Your heart, your stupid, traitorous heart actually stutters for a second even though it was him who wrecked it.

Closing your eyes, you breathe in the scent of rain and him, for the last time.

“No Felix,” you tell him and he winces at the use of his full name. It sounded so distant, and joyless. “If I’m letting you go, let me do it fully.”

And as much as he would like to disagree and tell you to mull it over in the warmth of his car, he knows you need the space. So, he stays rooted on the spot, as you slowly turn around and go far away, until he can’t see you anymore. He stays where he is, to let you walk away from him. To let you think that you were leaving him and not the other way round, so you’d have a choice in this too.

He was so thoughtful, even in this, and you wanted to collapse and cry on the spot, with your tears camouflaged in the rain. You wanted to stay that way for as long as possible and just melt away. But you couldn’t. Your pride, something small and cracked from everything but still solid, wouldn’t allow for it.

No more damage, it said. But what’s left? You ask. Nothing. Everything’s gone, so why does it matter now? Why does anything matter now?

You don’t know how you make it back to your apartment. You don’t recall anything about your walk back home in the rain.

Going in, you settle on the marble floor and stare at the clock. It’s late, you note and get up to ready yourself for bed. You weren’t going to think, you’d done enough of that. Your brain would hurt if you did any more of it. Mechanically, you change out of your soaked clothes and get in the shower. The view of an array of his shampoo bottles is what greets you. Resisting the urge to stay in there, you quickly wash up with warm water that’s soft on your skin. You relish the comfort it gives you, if only for a few seconds. You get out and change into your nightwear. Brushing your teeth and washing your face, you’re careful not to face the mirror.

You can’t do it.

You make your bed and sink into it, but it feels too large, without him in it. No, you stop yourself. Dragging your thick comforter to the living room, you sit on the cold floor and lean against the wall. You can handle it, the cold numbing your feet. You weren’t sure if you could handle warmth, you’re afraid you’d succumb. And so, you sit there all night, crying, as you listen to your love go down with the rain.

The next morning is unpleasant but bearable. Your eyes are bloodshot, both from crying and from the lack of sleep. That and you can’t feel your feet. Last night’s haze has evaporated, leaving the rational you of the new day to deal with the aftermath.

You thank the heavens it is a Sunday. At least he broke your heart on a Saturday, to sober up and collect yourself for work on Monday. You bitterly chuckle. Growing up meant work was way more important than your broken heart because well, you were an adult and you had to suck it up and go on.

Life had a way of proving you wrong when you thought it couldn’t get worse. You hated everything in that moment, the sun shining brightly like your world hadn’t been torn apart, the noises of the people who carried on with their lives, the voices in your head telling you to do the right thing.

What was the right thing to do, when what you wanted didn’t exist? It was too much, and you let out a choked sob, tears running down your cheeks. Regulating your breathing, you were doing a lot of that, you calmed yourself down.

Despite your current state, you try to pick yourself up and try to go about your day normally. But it was a Herculean piece of work when he had embedded himself so deeply in all of your routines too.

When you both were together, you’d wake up and kiss him on the cheek if he’d slept over, or you’d send him a text wishing him a good morning. He’d then call you as you brushed your teeth and he did the same on his side. You’d talk about your plans for the day until you had to go get ready. You would have breakfast with him or send him a picture. Then, if he was feeling particularly energetic, he’d pick you up and drop you off at your workplace. When you came back home, he’d be there to welcome you, to the home in his embrace. How would you forego all of that, years of routine, and go about normally? You didn’t think you had the strength it required.

I’ll be okay on my own, I always have been, you remind yourself. You decide to focus on one thing at a time. You brush your teeth, and after you’re done, you look at yourself in the mirror. The person staring back at you was someone new, someone unfamiliar. Someone you had wished to never meet. But you faced yourself. It was progress compared to yesterday.

After washing your face, you turn your attention to your hair. Blowing out a breath, you remind yourself that punishing yourself wouldn’t help, in any way. Slowly, with patience you didn’t know you possessed, you began untangling the strands. Every time you feel like tugging at your scalp until you bled, you slow down and deliberately brush your hair with uncharacteristic gentleness. Breathing in and out, you finally managed to untangle all the knots and pulled your hair into a neat ponytail. What was next? Food. Right, you needed food. And so, you got to work.

You work task by task until you feel pieces of you returning, making their way back to you. Some pieces are stubborn and don’t give in. You manage to put yourself back together, and you want to cry all over again. Not over him, but the fact that it took you an entire day to come back to yourself, after so long. You sober up and feel yourself craving snacks. You’ve always been responsible and very meticulous, thinking hard about each decision big or small. But then, you decide to be impulsive for once, to make yourself happy, no matter how small the happiness, and you grab your keys.

Dressed in pyjamas and a puffer jacket to keep out the cold, you enter the convenience store and quickly pick up some snacks. As you go to the checkout line, you find Changbin, one of Felix’s best friends.

“Hey you”, he greets you enthusiastically and you realize that Felix must not have told him about you two. You don’t know whether to feel grateful or saddened.

“Hello Changbin” you greet him back, and he asks you about your choice of snacks. Soon, easy laughter is shared between the two of you and he tells you he needs to hurry home.

“I have to go pack, but text me later, okay?” he tells you, eyes suddenly intently watching you, and you know he suspects something.

“Aren’t you supposed to be with him, considering we’ll be taking off in such less time?” and you sigh, having expected it. “We parted ways,” you tell him, not having the courage enough to say that you two had broken up because saying those words felt real.

Changbin understands, and he squeezes your arm. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude. I’m always here if you need me, okay?” he tells you and you feel like crying, again, because he’s being so nice to you. You assure him that you will contact him later and go back home.

You let out a long breath, just the thought of starting all over tomorrow felt like hell. You give in to sleep, as a certain person keeps appearing to haunt you even in your dreams.

The next morning you wake up and do the same thing, all over again. Days pass by, and your nightmares become less frequent and you get enough sleep. Some days, you can confidently look yourself in the mirror, other times you can’t even lift your head. Still, you get better each day, the ache in your chest fading to a numbness that won’t go away.

Five months, that’s the amount of time it takes you to go an entire day without thinking about him. But him, oh he wasn’t even trying to go a day without thinking about you. He didn’t want to.

From the moment you left him, taking his heart with you, he was destroyed. He thought the miles of distance between the two of you would make it easier to stay apart. He was wrong. Every day, he cracked a little, all his love that he had kept just for you, chipped until it was a semblance of what it was. His friends, especially Changbin urged him to try talking to you again, but he refused.

“She hates me, hyung. I don’t think she wants to talk to me after everything.” Changbin could only watch helplessly as his two best friends struggled.

-2 Months later-

You had become a workaholic, with nothing else other than work to engage you and keep you distracted, and it had paid off in ways. You got a promotion, to a position you could only dream about before, but you’d worked harder than ever to achieve it. However, one thing that came with the position was the numerous galas and parties that you had to attend.

You initially thought it would be fun to dress up nicely and meet new people, but reality was quick to burst your bubble. You had to engage with all sorts of people, even some who didn’t work in your fields, which led to lots of awkward conversations, and random creeps whose personalities were not half as interesting as your neighbourhood’s resident cat. It was tiresome in ways that sometimes you had to take a plane just to attend a stupid party and socialize when all you wanted was to snuggle into your bed and not meet people for another week.

Now, you had another party to attend, except it was being held in Korea, and you had to fly all the way in a single day after your work was finished.

Stepping out into the airport, you quickly unlock your phone and text Changbin. He was the only one you could rely on, especially when you didn’t know the language all that well. He had kindly agreed to help you navigate your new surroundings. Except he didn’t tell you that he’d be bringing Felix along. The guy had hoped that an impromptu meet would lead to the two of you resolving your (still very much alive) feelings. What he didn’t expect though, was for the freckled guy to flee.

Felix had no idea as to who Changbin wanted to pick up but reluctantly tagged along when the latter had asked him, persistently. His breath is knocked out of his lungs after seeing you for the first time in 7 months and 2 days. Was he counting? Yes. Did he care that it made him look like a lovesick idiot? Hell no. You hadn’t noticed him yet, busy animatedly explaining something to Changbin. The moment he sees you, his first instinct is to tug you into his arms and rest his face in the crook of your neck. But he stops himself. He couldn’t even greet you, he didn’t think he would survive seeing the hate in your eyes directed at him, so this time he runs.

Changbin has a suspiciously bright smile aimed at you when he meets you at the airport. He grins so much, you stop even as he keeps walking forward, unaware that you’re no longer walking with him. When he realizes that you’re not walking with him, he turns around and scowls.

“Hey, you can’t abandon me in my own country,” he says dramatically. You roll your eyes,” Try me.” You challenge and his scowl deepens.

“Now, cut to the chase and tell me why you’re smiling”.

Changbin swears that it’s nothing but after a minute of your intense staring, he breaks and smiles bashfully, “There’s someone I want you to meet-“

“I knew it! You had that shit-eating grin on your face and I suspected something. I’m not socializing with more than twenty people in the next two days, thank you very much” you quip before he can go on and on.

He snorts at your comment. “Oh come on, he’s handsome.”

“SO WHAT! So are you and you’re being extremely annoying. My eardrums need a break” you say, more to fluster him and get him to shut up rather than to stroke his ego and keep struggling to get out of his plans.

“Nice try, but just for that I’ll buy you breakfast, to avenge myself” he says, eyes crinkling.

“Can you avenge yourself all the time?”

“Oh for heavens’ sake.” He mutters and you giggle.

Even when you step out of the airport terminal, Changbin keeps looking everywhere, like he’s searching for someone. “Who is it?” you ask, and he sighs “No one.”

You get to your hotel room, and relax, trying to ignore the jet lag and not fall asleep. You successfully manage to do so by busying yourself with more work and the evening rolls by, faster than expected.

You pick out a casual ribbed, black dress and some earrings and call it a day. The company had provided a driver who took you to the venue. Unsurprisingly, it was held in a hotel whose hall was large enough to qualify as a ballroom.

Stepping in, you think to yourself ‘Let’s get this over with’. Before you know it a familiar pair of muscled arms pulls you in and you laugh.

“Hello to you too”. Changbin escorts you over to his team, whom you’ve met a couple of times. Except they’re still as unhinged, in the middle of a business party, talking about …whose butt was better to slap? You stop yourself there.

Felix had come over, intending to speak to you, but his throat ran dry upon taking a glance at you. Holy fuck! You were breathtaking, and suddenly he had no memory of what he wanted to say to you. Seeing you laugh and make small talk with his team, his heart swelled, but you didn’t glance at him. At all. Not even once in passing.

You on the other hand were hyperaware of his presence near you. Suddenly your skin was on fire, his gaze never leaving you. You knew he was watching you, and you let him.

Felix realized that it was the first intimate moment you’d shared in months, just you and him, no one else existing then. He comes forward and puts his hand out for you, but just that second you turned around the corner to greet someone else.

He’s hurt by your actions. There was no need for you to have done that. His mind reasons that you probably didn’t want to talk to him, but he just couldn’t stomach the hurt.

For the second time when he sees you, Felix runs. But this time you catch him in the act. He discreetly excuses himself and gets to the entrance, but you follow closely behind him.

Felix bolts through the set of wide oak doors at the entrance of the hall and doesn’t stop even when his lungs start burning. He keeps going until he hears a faint voice which sounds like …yours. And he stops.

“Christ, I’m not athletic enough for this” you mumble trying to catch your breath, and he laughs.

He full-on laughs until his head is thrown back and his hands clutch his stomach. He laughs so much tears stream down his face.

“Hey! Don’t laugh at me, it’s difficult to run when you’ve eaten two bags of chips by yourself on the same day” you attempt to explain, and he understands your need to deflect with humour and he turns around.

“Felix” you call him again, and despite you calling him by his full name, unlike last time there’s a trace of warmth in it. He clings to that warmth like it’s his lifeline as he wipes his face with his slender fingers. Your eyes follow the movement like nothing ever happened between you.

Felix grins at you, his face transforming with the curve of his lips. Not finding any hate or hurt in your eyes, he visibly relaxes. After both of you are breathing normally, less than six steps between the two of you, he summons his courage and asks you the one question he’d been itching to ask you for months.

“How have you been?”.

How have you been? You think back to the months you’d suffered and the predicament you’re in.

“I’ve been well”

He looks down at your reply, eyes shining with tears. “Wish I could say the same.”

He smiles again, but it’s full of sadness. You want to kiss it away until he never feels the same way again.

“But above everything, I owe you an apology. I’m sorry for not telling you earlier. I’m sorry it had to end that way, even if I didn’t want it to end. I’m so fucking sorry love.” He says, lovingly explaining to you even though he didn’t have to, trying to be gentle, and unknowing tears stream down your cheeks at the endearment.

“You’ve done nothing wrong to me, which is why it makes it so much harder for me to accept the fact that we-we have-“ he stops, hand raised to his mouth, muffling his words as he cries harder.

“You broke me to pieces without meaning to, because you were doing what’s right for yourself; by leaving someone who wasn’t right for you. By leaving me.” You smile sadly at his words.

“You were the best, God, I thought I didn’t deserve you. You were it at one point, you know?” you say, wrapping your arms around yourself.

“I don’t like how you used past tense there. It makes it hurt much more and makes things… worse. It makes things so much more real.”

“Yeah well, it’s the truth,” you say bitterly and at that point, the clock strikes twelve and you’re reminded that you have to go back to your hotel, except you’re no Cinderella and he’s not your prince who can come after you.

“This is it then, I guess. I’ll see you around Felix” you finish, as your heart sinks at the fact that he didn’t even protest at your words.

Maybe it was all in your head, maybe you were assuming, maybe it wasn’t meant to be. Your heart beats alarmingly fast at the last thought, feeling it slowly come true. Felix just raises a hand and waves you off in a soundless goodbye, a spring in his step, that you eye before you turn your back and go. Unbeknownst to you, he walks briskly until he reaches a corridor no longer visible to you and he runs, but this time, he’s running to you.

You go back home and try as you might, you can’t sleep. The thoughts in your head, which you’d buried down months ago, surface and leave you anxious. You wake up hours before your alarm and finally conclude. You are still very much in love with the guy who once baked you brownies in the middle of the night because he hadn’t been able to in the morning. The same guy who had taken a piece of you and had never returned it.

Fuck your pride, you were both adults, if you want to, you can try.

After an hour of rehearsal, you finally pick up your phone with shaking hands when there’s a knock on your door. You open it and immediately think ‘What a pleasant surprise’ because in front of you is a (once-again) sweaty Felix who looks like he’s been running.

“Let me in, the hotel staff are chasing me.” You laugh and pull him inside, shutting the door.

Felix properly looks you in the eye and he smiles, unhesitatingly saying the words he came to say to you.

“I came here to ask you to give me another chance.”

“But I’m not sure if you do, Felix. What changed?” you ask, your face neutral, even as butterflies go into a frenzy in your stomach.

Once is a mistake, twice is a choice, and you’d be damned if you let him break your heart again.

“Well, I want to make it work this time. Every time. You’re it for me, and I was reminded of it yesterday. I’ll fix it, all the parts I broke and I vow to never break them willingly again. If I do, punish me to spend all of eternity with you, grovelling for my mistake. Do we have a deal?” he spills in one breath, his eyes shining, the same eyes which brought twinkling lights into your life again.

You don’t hesitate this time. “We do.” You whisper, careful not to disturb the tranquillity of that moment. And he comes closer.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks, as he brings his thumb to rest on your lower lip, the cool metal of his rings, leaving you shivering. “Yes.” You whisper.

And yet he keeps staring at you. “What? Are you not going to kiss me now? Have you forgotten?” you tease him lowly, and his answer leaves you breathless.

“I am, but before that, I’d like to show myself everything I’ve been missing out on.”

His lips meet yours and it is the Fourth of July again, as he kisses you like a man starved. He chases your lips, uncaring of all the breaths you had to take, chests touching until you can feel each other’s heartbeats. When you finally come up for air hands pushing against his chest, he brings you closer by your waist.

“Hello,” he says like he’s seeing you for the first time again, both your foreheads touching. “Hi” you say, unable to hide your excitement.

“I’m home, love.” he announces, “And I’m never going away again.”

“Promise?” you hold out your little finger.

“I promise” his digit curls around yours and you acknowledge how happy that sight leaves you.

“You’re right. I would”

“I’m happy if you are, but first let’s get breakfast.”

“I’m swooning here and you dare to feel hungry?”

“You can swoon over me all you want when we’re both stuffing ourselves with food.” You sigh, and he knows he’s got you.

“That was the excuse I was going with if you were to shut your door on me. Food.” He confesses, eyes caressing your face tenderly.

“…You really think that I, a perfectly moral person, would stoop that low just for food?”

“Yeah”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© booksndpoetry 2024. All rights reserved. Please do not plagiarise, translate, repost or steal my works in any way. All idols used in this piece are just inspiration for characters. They do not reflect the real people in any way.

#+booksndpoetry #straykidsland #stray kids #skz felix #skz fanfic #felix x reader #skz imagines #skz #stayblr #stray kids lee yongbok #felix x y/n #writing #felix x you #romance one shots #fictional characters #skz felix fluff #fluff #angst

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enzos-shit · 2 months

Text

❛ let me love you ❜

CHAPTER 1 - ❛ rush to save you if you just- ❜

<< genre(s): romance, fluff, royal au, love triangle >>

<< hyunjin x reader, felix x reader >>

word count : 1.3k

“Please?”

“No.”

“Pretty please?”

“No.”

“Pretty pretty please?”

“No.”

“Pleaseeee? With rainbows and sprinkles on top?”

“Hyunjin, how many times have I said no?”

“Please just one date? It’ll only be a half hour,”

“How many times have I said no?”

You look at the tall boy who’s knelt down to about your waist height. He’s been nagging you about going on a date with him for the past 5 minutes, yet your answer hasn’t changed.

“A lot..”

“Exactly.”

“...”

“Plea-”

“Hyunjin, no. I’ve said it ten too many times,” You respond, smacking the boy’s black hair. He pouts and looks up at you. His eyes begin to widen, eyebrows raising and his lip pokes out-

“Stop it with the puppy eyes”

“Damnit-” He mutters, standing up and fixing his hair. You sigh and shake your head, continuing to walk to the marketplace. The original objective was for him to merely escort you to the bookstore so you could get a book safely, but it soon turned into one of his eight attempts to court you a day. It was getting tiring. Sometimes you honestly wished that he was the prince from your rival kingdom, at least then you wouldn’t have to deal with his constant whining 24/7.

As you approached the bookstore you were headed into, something caught your eye.

Where was Hyunjin.

You sigh and enter the shop, not paying too much mind to the fact that Hyunjin practically just disappeared into thin air, inhaling the soft aroma of fresh books and paper in the air. You take a deep breath and look around for the book you wanted. You immediately gravitate towards the romance section, loving all the stories they have in that area. You’ve always longed for romance in your life—despite having Hyunjin at your waist at the slightest mutter of his name—you want to feel something. You want to experience what every book you’ve ever read has described: butterflies erupting in your stomach, your face and ears burning, feeling your heart leap, meaningful affection, genuine attraction, and things alike. Sure, as the princess you could have whoever you pleased at the mention of a name—but you wanted the feelings to be genuine. Real. Not forced, nor short-lived. You want to experience it all. You look around for a bit before choosing a book or two, beginning to move over to the check-out station.

Why is Hyunjin standing there, leaning against the counter—a rose in his hands nonetheless. You sigh, mentally facepalming as you greet the librarian, purchasing the books. Hyunjin picks up the books and places the rose inside the front cover of the one on top, titled: stars and raindrops. You look up at him, an unamused expression present on your face as he just grins down at you, his eyes adorably scrunching up as always when he smiles. You shake your head and sigh, leaving the shop and thanking the librarian, the short ring of a bell signaling your dismissal. He trails behind you, beaming at the fact that you haven't taken the flower out of the book yet. He taps your shoulder, planning to tease you about it, causing you to turn around and begin walking backward.

“So… do you like my rose?”

“Hell no-”

“So why haven’t you taken it out of the book yet?” He questioned, tilting his head to the left. You raise your eyebrows, a smile on your face.

“So the rose thorns don’t prick me?” You respond, grinning as you laugh.

“y/n-” “No, Hyunjin. I don’t want to go on a date with you”

“No, y/n it's not that-”

You turn around and crash right into someone’s chest, almost falling back if not for the arm that wrapped itself around your waist. You look down in a panic, ears and cheeks burning out of embarrassment. You expect to see your books all messed up on the dusty road, except they were skillfully caught in someone’s hand—only the rose placed in the cover of one had fallen.

You look up at the person who had caught you, cheeks flaring red at the sight of him. He had soft-looking blonde hair that fell just above his eyes, touching the nape of his neck in the back. His face and cheeks were lightly dusted with freckles ranging in size and opacity, pure, wide eyes with dark irises looking down at you with concern and something unreadable swimming in his eyes, full lips and an adorable nose completing the absolute artwork that was this person in front of you.

You stand up quickly, his hand never leaving your waist. You smile and gently take the books out of his hand. He smiles back down at you. He’s not much taller than you—certainly not as tall as Hyunjin—but a comfortable height. Hyunjin watches grumpily from the outside, getting somewhat intimidated by the other boy. How has he managed to make you more romantically nervous around him in thirty seconds than he has in seven years?

“Hi, I’m Lee Felix,” He offers the hand that’s not still on your waist to shake it, a soft smile on his face. You smile, placing your free hand into his gently.

“Hi, I’m y/n l/n” You smile again—curtseying slightly—just out of respect. He looks you up and down, finally retracting his hand from your waist. “So you’re the princess?” He questions, to which you nod. He then bows down and grabs your hand, kissing it softly. “My apologies, Your Majesty,” he hums, getting back up and bowing his head before walking away.

You can't help but turn to look after him as he leaves, cream tailcoat flowing gracefully behind him. You sigh, beginning to walk forward again. Hyunjin’s heart sinks. Why is this Felix kid grabbing your attention more than he is? How has he had such an effect on you from just bumping into you? He just said hello and you’re already swooning—it’s unfair. He drops his head as he follows silently behind you, thinking through the events of today.

You eventually get back to your castle, Hyunjin pausing you before you enter. “y/n, you do know who Felix is, right?” You turn to look at him, shaking your head as you try to recall where you’ve heard the name Lee Felix before. He sighs, grabbing your shoulders lightly.

“y/n, he’s the prince of the rival kingdom. Please—please dont get into any trouble with him. It’s the last thing your parents could want from you right now” As much as you hated to admit it—he was right. You wanted to keep seeing Felix, he intrigued you. He seemed mysterious in just the right ways, yet he seemed like an open person—someone easy to get to know. You sigh, nodding your head.

“Okay, Hyunjin. I won’t get into any trouble, I promise,” you say, smiling and patting his shoulder before walking into the castle, and closing the door behind you. He stands there, unsure if you meant it or not. He doesn’t think his heart could take it if you fell for someone else. He sighs, leaving to go to his house.

Inside the castle, your maids and butlers greet you as you walk by, nearing your room with every step you take. As you enter your room you notice a small letter on your bed. You approach it warily, unsure of what it is or who sent it. You reach your bed and pick up the letter, seeing your name written on the front. You turn it over and open it, reading the message inside.

dear miss y/n,

hi again, it's great to have met you today. i was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime? you interest me and i’d like to get to know you better. i saw you had a few books—do you like reading? why dont you meet me at the same bookstore you walked out of next thursday? i’ll be there around midday, dont keep me waiting for long!

xx, lee felix

You smile, placing the letter on your bedside table, continuing with what you were doing before.

taglist : @ayejaii — @prystokyno

#x reader #skz x reader #fem reader #fluff #hyunjin #skz reader insert #stray kids #lee felix x reader #lee felix #felix #hwang hyunjin #romance #royal au #love triangle #skz #skz felix #skz hyunjin

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red-airhead · 10 months

Text

| Red | Hwang Hyunjin |

word count - 2,361

oneshot

genre - suggestive, romance

warnings - afab!reader, suggestive (MINORS DNI!!), alcohol consumption, gn terms, reader is a tease, pet names, heavy making out, reader can cook, grinding, lmk if I missed anything.

this was my first smut in a while, so I'm sorry if it's not up to your expectations. Hope you enjoy!

Tonight might have been thought a little differently than Y/N had figured it would be. It wouldn’t have been expected that they’d end up in a white button up with something as simple as red undergarments. It was date night, well, more so it was their first year anniversary with Hyunjin. Him being out all day meant that they had time to prepare for a fancy dinner at home.

The choice of clothing wasn’t actually their idea however, it was in fact their best friend, who just so happened to be the person closest to Hyunjin, was Felix. How iconic would it be for the two of them to be on the phone while everything was being set out for the evening? Now that the outfit was decided and put on, Felix was watching them run around the house to get everything set out over facetime.

“You know it doesn’t have to be perfect, right? Hyunjin is practically obsessed with anything you do so even if it’s not perfect he’ll still like it.” Felix had said after a fit of laughter watching Y/N nearly fall with a full bottle of unopened red wine. It was true that Hyunjin loved everything that they would do for him, but this was their first year anniversary, they just had to make it perfect.

“Yeah I know but you also have to remember it’s our first year anniversary, I don’t want it to turn out badly. Everything has to be set out and ready, and he has to- Oh! Food’s done!”Their ramble on about how it had to be perfect was cut short by the ding of a timer they had for the food in the oven. They had about an hour left before Hyunjin would get home for the evening, and everything was just barely done.

“Okay, Okay I get it… It’s really sweet that you’re surprising Hyunjin with this though, I think he was so busy today that it was hard for him to plan anything. He was complaining that he couldn’t be home to spend time with you today, it was a little saddening to watch.” Felix had explained, remembering how Hyunjin was all pouty and nearly on the verge of tears thinking about how his partner of all people had to spend their first year anniversary alone.

“Awh,, Jinnie was complaining? My poor baby, now I really hope he enjoys what I have planned.” There was just one more thing that has never been shared to anyone besides Felix from the both of them. They hadn’t had sex yet, and that was something that Y/N wanted to happen tonight. What better way to get that to start out with a nice dinner with some wine and Hyunjin’s one and only in a shirt he owns with only red and white lingerie underneath?

“Y/N. I’m sure he will, just try and shake of the nerves while you have the time. Get that wine ready and remember what I told you?” Felix had to make sure that they remembered what he had said, and while it may have seemed something to laugh at a little while ago, now it was more serious. “Yes I do, you told me to be confident and to only make the first move when I’m ready.” “Exactly. Now I have to go and get ready for bed, Chan’s almost here and knowing him he’d want to get to bed the moment he gets here. Love you Y/N!” Felix who was currently rooming with Chan already knew his schedule, and how he’d like to sleep as soon as possible.

“Alright! Tell him I said hi! I love you too lixieee!” Y/N dragged out his nickname that everyone used for him, just before he hung up. Afterwards, they immediately put on some music to replace the silence, getting the plates of food ready along with the glasses of wine and a vase full of red roses to top it off. Some face rose petals were scattered on the floor from the kitchen, dining room, and living room. Candles lit all around the place to set the mood and the lights dimmed just enough for the candles to have more of a purpose.

Y/N waited patiently leaning against the dining room table, holding both glasses of wine in their hands. Hearing the front door open they adjusted their posture and hair as much as possible, even setting a wine glass down to check the light makeup they had on before picking it up again and waiting for Hyunjin to walk into the dining room.

“Darling I’m home! Sorry I took so long they had all of this recording to do along with setting out plans for the comeback I didn’t want t- Whoa..” Hyunjin had almost immediately stopped in his tracks seeing the dining room all set up and nicely done. His mouth slightly agape with the sight before him. His partner dressed in his shirt with a perfectly set out dinner holding two wine glasses.

“Welcome home, baby. I wanted to surprise you since you’ve been working so hard. I hope you like it.” Y/N had begun to explain, handing him one of the glasses of wine, pressing a peck to his lips before smiling sweetly at their boyfriend, “So is this why you were taking forever to respond? It looks amazing, my muse.” Hyunjin complimented, nearly leaning into the peck, a free hand sliding to their waist and pulling them closer.

“Well, since you like it so much, why don’t we sit and eat. You can tell me all about your day and then we can spend all the time in the world together. How’s that sound?” They suggested, leaning into his warmth before pulling back and walking to the dining table, taking a seat across from where Hyunjin would sit, “You sure we can’t just skip the food and just spend time together?”

“Absolutely not, handsome. I know for a fact you had very little to eat seeing as no one was there to nag at you for it today. So sit down and eat.” They Mentioned, a finger now pointing to the chair for him to sit, in which he responded with a groan before sitting down and picking up the silverware provided, just before digging in. After the food had entered both of their mouths, Hyunjin almost immediately sighed in delight, a soft giggle following through afterwards. Y/N couldn’t help but do the same, and instead of giggling, they had smiled at the giggle that hyunjin emitted from himself.

“Ugh- It’s so good.. How can you cook so well? I don't understand, this is like above Lee Know’s cooking!” Hyunjin exclaimed, his feet tapping on the hardwood floor in joy, “You flatter me too much, sweetheart, but I appreciate it, thank you.” Y/N replied just before they continued eating. They listened to all of the things that Hyunjin was going on about, and while Y/N had finished their food a few moment ago, now sipping on wine, Hyunjin was still eating and of course the wine being barely touched, about 65% of the wine was still there, and it would be figured since Hyunjin seemed to be more into the food then the alcohol.

While Hyunjin was distracted, Y/N had begun to clean up the dishes that they used, and when Hyunjin was finished with his, he went in and helped, “So other than the absolutely amazing food that you’ve set out for me, what’s next.” He asked, placing the used plates and silverware in the sink before heading to the living room where they were waiting for him. Y/n was sitting on the arm of the couch, sipping their wine before standing up and walking over to Hyunjin, who was now getting closer to the couch, “Well, the night will lead us to amazing things, so why don’t we just let it take us away?” It was strangely deep, but it was basically them quoting Hyunjin.

Hyunjin chuckled a little at the remark, sipping his wine before sitting on the middle of the couch, sighing as he began to relax and sip at his wine, just like Y/N was doing. It was quiet for a few moments before he had set down the now almost finished wine next to their fully empty glass on the side table. His eyes then fell to where Y/N was standing, who seemed to be thinking for a little bit before walking over to Hyunjin who was watching their every move. Shortly after arriving in front of Hyunjin, eyes staring back at each other, trying to read each other's body language, their hands were gently placed on his shoulder just before they had decided to straddle him.

Something about the tension was unreal now. This was new territory that neither of them have explored. Sure they’ve made out but it’s never been in.. this kind of setting. Other than the music playing in the background it was nearly silent, staring into each other’s eyes for the longest time before the first move was made. Y/N began to lean towards Hyunjin, lips now merely away from each other, “So, are you gonna kiss me or are you just going to sit there?” Hyunjin muttered, just barely a whisper, his eyes fluttering shut as their breaths began to mingle into each other. With Y/N swallowing thickly they smirk just before turning to kiss at his jawline.

A sigh was released from Hyunjin, his head tilting back in just the slightest bit. Their lips pressing kisses at his skin, occasionally nibbling as well. It was like that for a minute or two, Hyunjin letting out soft grunts when there was a specific spot that they kissed. Soon the nibbling became sucking, and shortly after that there were a few hickies laces around, of course low enough that a shirt would easily cover it, but they would definitely be noticeable if someone had most certainly searched for it.

Shortly after, Hyunjin’s hand went to Y/N’s chin, lifting it to look at him. Their lips were slightly swollen from all the kissing and sucking, but it wasn’t as noticeable so if they went out people wouldn’t take a guess. They stared at each other again before Hyunjin guided them into a kiss, just before they swooped down again and pressed a kiss on his adams apple, “Stop teasing, you might kill me..”

“Kill you? I’ve barely done anything darling and you’re the one who's hard..” They retorted gently, hips now pressing down onto Hyunjin’s hard-on, their clit gliding against it in the slightest bit, causing both of them to moan simultaneously, Y/N biting down on their lip, “Fuck Y/N, do that again..” Hyunjin replied with a shaky breath, head tilted back onto the couch, eyes shut.

“What? Like this?” They hummed just before repeating the action, this time much more smoother and slower, another moan releasing from them as their hands ran down his clothed chest. Both of them ended up locking eyes once more before Hyunjin finally took the kiss he’d been longing for since they started. His hands began to desperately grab at their hips, pushing them down against his clothed hard-on, grunts emitting into the kiss. His tongue began to slip past their lips, tongues now dancing against each other as the kiss deepened. A whine had come from Y/N, causing Hyunjin to pull back and smirk at them.

“Something the matter?” He teased, pressing kisses along their jawline to their neck, a hand removing from their hip and now unbuttoning the shirt that they had been wearing all evening. When he was greeted with the sight of Y/N’s lingerie, he nearly let out a moan knowing that this entire time, it was planned, “Holy Fuck baby, you planned this all for me? You are just the absolute cutest person ever..” He muttered against their skin, a sly smirk on his lips.

Moans now getting louder from Y/N as the grinding just got needier, Hyunjin’s lips leaving trails of kisses after the shirt had been removed. Hickies were littered all over their skin and they were sure to stay for a while, “Hngh- Jinnie- That feels so good. ‘S so good baby~” They managed as breathy moans cut through their words. Shortly after those words had been said, Hyunjin was now removing his shirt, only being left in the pair of sweatpants that he had been wearing since the morning, “You’re so hot you know that? The way you look, everything about you is just perfect. And it’s all for me..”

Lips against lips and more grinding went on for a while, both now a moaning mess from the stimulation and all of the dirty talk. Hyunjin’s red hair color running down his neck and forehead, staring up at Y/N who seemed to be in utter bliss, “You want me? Tell me how badly you want me, angel, I’ll give it to you.”

“Want you so bad, Can I have you? Please? I wanna make you feel good. So so good.. Please baby? ‘ve been waiting- so so long, need to have you now, please?” Y/N was babbling almost nonsense. Of course when it comes to sexual contact, Y/N was weak and sensitive since it had been a long time, but Hyunjin was nowhere near hesitant to the idea.

Hyunjin had just nearly snapped at the sight of them teary eyed and begging him, “Want me that bad? You can have me all you want..” His words almost slurred with lust, kisses continuing to pepper along their body before lips attaching together and making them swallow each other’s moans.

“Gonna make you cum so hard, how’s that sound baby?” Hyunjin hummed, looking up at them who was now looking at him, “Sounds so good, Jinnie. Want it so bad.” Hands were now running along his upper chest, further to the waistband of his sweats and boxers. Who knew this would be a night to remember?

| not requested |

#stray kids smut #stray kids #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin smut #romance #smut #lee felix #Spotify

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minbin2000 · 8 months

Text

the season of 1800 (skz royal au)

---

information

pov: gn!reader

word count: 625 (intro)

genre: fluff, romance, historical, royalty au, sfw

warnings: none

author's note: this fanfic is inspired by the high society portrayed in Bridgerton! this is not the first fanfic I've written, but it's the first one I am posting here! I hope you enjoy!

(the images above are from Pinterest.)

---

navigation

---

introduction

The Season of 1800 is upon the hopeful young people of the Kingdom of Isla. This season is expected to be grander than the last, with the turn of the century offering a special reason to celebrate love.

Your father, a noble expat to the tiny Kingdom of Hetha (situated where the northern lights shine all year long), believes it is time for you, his eldest child, to be wed. You only partly agree with this idea.

Part of you despises your father for pushing you into marriage. You don’t think you are ready to be betrothed. The other half of you is excited, ready to jump into the season head-first. You have heard many successful love stories that have come out of the centuries-old tradition of matchmaking. Though, you have also heard the horror stories.

You’ve never experienced true love before. You are worried you will make the wrong choice when picking a man to be your husband from your lack of knowledge in the subject matter. You have had to remind yourself that there will be others participating in the season for the first time as well. This gentle reminder calms your worries.

Your father has told you many stories of his kingdom you have never visited. He has told you of a lovely manor he is the Lord of (that may even become yours one day). It is nestled on a cozy bay with views of the northern ocean that borders your own kingdom.

The manor sounds a lot different from the bustling city you live in now. A life in the country intrigues you, but it also terrifies you. Being so removed from others outside of your own household sounds quite boring, if you are being honest.

Nevertheless, you and your father have just arrived in the Kingdom of Isla. Before you sits a bustling ballroom filled with young people like yourself in their finest clothing. They are accompanied by various families members, laughing and talking with each other.

A butler announces your name to the crowd. Those near the balcony you are standing on turn to look at you, but those in the back of the room do not hear your name. You jumped at the sound of your name, especially with your official title in front of it. Your father never uses such formalities with you. Your father links his arm through yours and escorts you down the staircase.

Once you reach the floor of the ballroom, your father takes you to a small table filled with ribbons and dance cards. From the balcony, you noticed people of similar ages to yourself wearing ribbons with their names etched onto them. A kind looking man hands you your ribbon and dance card. You pin the ribbon on the left side of your chest, just beneath your collarbone. You wrap the dance card around your wrist.

Your father smiled at you after noticing the stares you both were receiving. “You may certainly be the talk of the ball, y/n.” Unlike your father, this does not make you smile.

You hear comments from the nearby patrons. “I did not know he had a child!” “They must have come back to be married!” The comments and stares make you uncomfortable, and your cheeks feel hot from the embarrassment.

Your father then sees an old friend across the room and waves to him. He instructs you to find others your age to converse with while you wait to complete the dances on your dance card. He lets go of your arm. He walks away with a reassuring nod, leaving you in this ballroom full of strangers. You gulp and scan the room, wondering just what could be in store for you this season.

#stray kids #stray kids fanfic #royalty au #skz #skz x reader #stray kids fluff #stray kids romance #kpop fanfic #lee know #changbin #bang chan #hyunjin #han jisung #stray kids felix #skz seungmin #jeongin #skz ot8 #stray kids x reader

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aspenwritesstuff · 1 year

Text

Part Three : Clueless

🌹prev🌹masterlist🌹next

🌹taglist: @drhsthl @propertyoftoru

You found yourself wishing you could understand how anyone with even half of a heart could look at Lee Felix and describe the sweeter-than-sugar man as anything close to offputting. Even in your jaded, pessimistic state of being, his smile was an instant surge of serotonin. This woman would be so, so lucky to be the recipient of such pure, selfless love.

🌹warnings: alcohol consumption/drinking, mention of creepy male behavior,

🌹w/c: a lil over 2k, my laptop broke and mobile won’t let me copy and paste the whole thing in one go and I do NOT wanna go paragraph by paragraph. (Translation: author is lazy.)

🌹a/n: hello, lovelies. 🌹 I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too terribly long. Thank you for sticking around and reading the newest part of Prove Me Wrong! It means a lot to have you here.

I’ve made a separate post about my intentions with writing this particular piece, but wanted to include here that I am 100% NOT abandoning this work. I love it dearly, I promise! I will, however, be working on a few of my WIPs that have been heavy in my thoughts lately, so please be patient as I work on multiple fics at a time.

I hope that as I publish more of my stories that they receive just as warm of a welcome as PMW has so far. Every time I get feedback it makes my lil author heart go BA-DUMP so hard, I nearly cry.

You’d held many titles throughout your lifetime; daughter, friend, and author to name a few. Today, however, a new skillset was going to be put to the test.

Matchmaker.

As per your agreement, Felix was to be gently guided through sparking a conversation with the object of his affections - preferably one that took place on the same side of the bar that would consist of more than a refill request.

Felix had seemed skeptical of the plan you’d sent to him after he’d gotten home from the previous night’s pottery painting. It seemed pretty straightforward to you, though you weren’t the one with the crush-induced anxiety surrounding the situation.

Step one was getting Felix to be in the same area, off the clock, in clothes other than his uniform. You figured that would exponentially up the chances that she’d actually take notice of the man desperate for a single crumb of her attention. To get her to stop seeing Lee Felix, twenty-three year old bartender rather than Lee Felix, the man with a contagious smile with a heart - one that he wanted to give to her, at that - full of the warmest sunshine.

It wasn’t that you thought Ryujin was shallow, though. It was admittedly easy, as an intoxicated bar-goer out with friends, to not even register the features of the one preparing your liquor. You of all people could relate to the hazy way they’d be remembered after the night ended. At least this gave you an advantage in knowing how to change the perception.

Thanks, post-breakup alcoholism.

Step two was coaching the well-meaning but admittedly hopeless Felix through a conversation with his crush - preferably a coherent and confident one, but you weren’t going to hold your breath. The poor guy did blush simply from saying her name, after all. You’d told Felix the three keys to a great introduction, pulling directly from the way love interests would often meet in your novels; brevity, humor, and mystery.

He shouldn’t overdo it, no matter how receptive she seems. Felix had tried to argue that he should jump on the opportunity to speak with her, especially after how long he’d waited, but you’d quickly countered. Interest is a fickle beast, easily deterred by a conversation that dragged on for a few minutes too long.

You’d rather her wish you’d said more than wish you’d stopped talking.

After your blunt explanation, he was quick to change his tune - even going as far as earnestly calling himself your humble student. Which then brought you to the second rule of introductions - humor.

You wanna be funny, not creepy. No pickup lines, no matter how clever or cute you think they are.

He’d replied quickly with near instantaneous contradiction of his self imposed title.

None? 😢 Not even if it’s really cute?

You’d smiled then, picturing the pout on his gentle face as he mourned the loss of what you assumed he’d considered treasured flirtations.

Absolutely not.

The telltale dots of what likely was an argument appeared for only a second, vanishing as soon as they’d arrived - almost like a signal of Felix’s acceptance of the rule.

You are a man whose name she doesn’t know approaching her in a bar. Save the cheesy lines until she’s comfortable.

He understood then, shamelessly admitting that you had a fantastic point that he - of course - hadn’t considered. It wasn’t anything to be criticized for. It was simply just his innate privilege as a man to not have that incessant fight-or-flight response when approached by someone of the opposite sex.

After a far-too-complicated discussion, Felix had agreed to give exchanging his cheesy, over the top humor for subtlety a shot. It was bordering on adorable, the way that he clung to each word of advice you offered. He’d thanked you at least twenty times for your wisdom, and you hadn’t even gotten to the final rule yet.

When it came to mystery, you had made it abundantly clear that there was a vast difference between dishonesty and leaving someone guessing.

Do: Be genuine and honest. Don’t: Give every single detail. Timing is everything.

A vivid image of a puppy-esque tilt of his fluffy head projected into your mind’s eye as you read his reply.

What timing? How much is too much detail?

His near-palpable panic was enough to encourage you to explain meticulously, if only just to ease his obvious nerves.

Let’s use me as an example, okay? If you asked what I did for a living, I would just say that I’m an author. Not the genre, not how many books I’ve published, not what I’m currently working on. Just that I’m an author.

As for the timing? Once the conversation is easily flowing and you can tell that she’s into it, you need to excuse yourself.

You giggled at the row of horrified-looking emojis you’d earned from your explanation, shaking your head as you read the incredulous words Felix had sent.

Isn’t that rude? Getting her invested in conversation just to leave her hanging???

You cut off the ellipses denoting he wasn’t done questioning your methods, shaking your head as your thumbs darted across the keys.

No, Felix.

Not if you give her a means to continue the conversation.

At this point, you weren’t certain why his naivety continued to shock you - but, yet, it did. You supposed it just went to show that he truly wasn’t lying when he said he was clueless when it came to love.

I don’t get it…if I walk away we won’t be talking anymore!

A deep breath in, exhaled slowly through your nose helped you maintain the polite, scholarly approach you’d taken thus far.

Your phone number, Felix.

“I really hate to cut this short, but if you’d like to continue this conversation later here’s my number,” then smile, wave, and walk away.

Then what?

You wait.

Just...wait?

Just wait.

The third and final step of the Help-Felix-Get-The-Girl plan was the simplest, but arguably the most important: being in the same place at the same time. Luckily, Felix had let you know that she typically came into the bar around 8 on Fridays. You’d decided to let his eavesdropping slide, knowing his intentions were undoubtedly pure - fueled only by his sweet, schoolboy pining after Ryujin. Besides, you didn’t want to resort to stalking her socials like some kind of love-crazed maniac, so his insight had truthfully saved you some trouble.

All that was left was to hope - even pray, to whatever deity might listen to your plea - that Felix could pull it off.

Friday evening, a quarter past six, a gentle knock came from your front door. You peered through the peephole pointlessly, knowing for close to certain that you’d be met with the nerve-wracked face of Felix on the other side. You had, after all, agreed on 6:15 to meet up before the main event.

Door now opened wide, you offered him your best cheeky smirk before stepping aside for him to enter, “Come on in, Romeo.”

He simply nodded, eyes wider than those of a deer caught in the headlights of an eighteen-wheeler as he anxiously gulped, Adam's apple bobbing noticeably above the neckline of his black v-neck tee.

“Loosen up, Felix,” you coached jokingly, shutting the door and following him to the couch. He’d already taken a seat on the edge of a cushion, elbows resting on his knees with his face in his hands, “Being scared won’t do anything for the outcome.”

“Easy for you to say,” he grumbled, shifting his weight to run both hands through his tousled tresses before looking to the side.

You met his uncertain gaze as you sat next to him, offering a reassuring pat to his shoulder as you realized this wasn’t just petty nerves over speaking to this woman. Blatantly ignoring your realization that it was much more muscular than you’d ever given any thought to, you allowed your palm to land flat on the empty space between the two of you as you sighed, “Felix, look at me.”

He mimicked your exhale, though his was much more defeated than exasperated, before turning to meet your waiting gaze. His bottom lip trembling slightly as he sucked in a deep breath made your heart ache, empathy coming far too easily for the kindhearted man before you. He swallowed hard, as he had upon his entrance, eyes swirling with what you could only describe as fear.

“What are you so worried about?” you nearly whispered. He had been much more rattled than you’d initially noticed, causing you to have to fight against the rising bile of guilt in your gut for your teasing.

He took a shuddering inhale before sighing deeply, shoulders slumping from their prior position - tensed next to his ears - as he responded softly, “I just…God, this is stupid,” he ran a hand through the ever-increasing messiness of blonde atop his head before continuing, “I don’t wanna screw this up,” he admitted, leaning his head back against the couch before continuing.

“I always say something dumb, or come on too strong,” you nodded as he explained the reason for his uncharacteristically cloudy disposition, avoiding interjection - even in the form of a hum - to provide him with your undivided attention, “Even when I’m not trying to, I somehow manage to just…put people off, y’know?” He shook his head as he leaned back into his hands, curtain of flaxen hair hiding what was undoubtedly a dejected expression as he whispered a broken, “I think there’s just something wrong with me.”

“Lix,” the nickname rolled off of your tongue without a second thought, “There’s nothing wrong with you.”

He peered at you with a slow turn of his head, cheek pressed into his palm giving his already full lips a dramatized pout, “You don’t have to say that, I know –”

“I’m not lying,” you cut him off, brows knitting together as you held his gaze firm with your own, “There really isn’t anything wrong with you,” a gentle smile that you hoped was reassuring found its way to your lips as you explained, “I think that the world is just very, very gray - and that you,” you poked his nose with the pad of your index finger, earning a noncommittal grin as you continued, “are very, very bright.”

Felix’s grinning had morphed into beaming as his freckled cheeks turned pink at the compliment. He’d released his face from his palms, turning his body more towards yours with ever-straightening posture as though each word from your mouth was filling an invisible meter of confidence.

“So, yeah…there’s nothing wrong with you. People just aren’t used to a person as unabashedly vibrant as you, Felix.”

“You’re really nice, you know that?” he said simply, prior insecurity in his voice replaced with wonder, his smile not once faltering.

“Don’t get sappy on me now, Lee,” you warned with a playful ruffling of his hair. You stood from your spot, it now being your turn to have reddened cheeks, to pour a cup of coffee in the kitchen. You weren’t even thirsty, you just hoped to hide the way his genuine compliment had affected you.

Cup in hand and cheeks back to their presently scheduled lack-of-crimson, you faced him again with a smirk, “Now, let’s get you ready. You’ve got a lady to woo.”

“Y/N, I’m not so sure about this!” Felix called, voice laced with anxiety, from the bathroom. You’d sent him in with a few outfits you’d borrowed from a less-than-willing, bribed-with-cleaning-his-place Jisung.

“I’m sure you look just fine Lix!” the reassurance you’d tried to convey in your voice was mostly drowned out by the volume at which you had to speak from the kitchen.

The stovetop clock read 7:13, reminding you that you had but a half-hour to get Felix to the bar.

“I dunno, Y/N…” he murmured, almost unheard as you made your way towards the bathroom door.

“Lemme see,” you cooed, hiding your excitement for his mini-makeover as best as you could.

Silence.

“Felix, c’mon, I still have to do your hair. Just show me!” you’d hoped the reminder that there was yet more to do would encourage him.

You were met simply with a deep sigh, and more silence.

“Lee Felix, so help me I will kick this door in!” You wouldn’t, no. But he didn’t know that.

“Fine, fine!” his words came out in a hurried slur, followed soon after by the light ‘click’ of the bathroom lock, “You just…can’t laugh, okay?”

“Why would I laugh?” you asked, suppressing a very inopportune giggle at the request. You understood the nerves, though. Meeting up with your crush? Definitely the right time for them.

“Just…promise?” Despite the depth and rasp of his voice, he sounded so small in that moment. He sounded like a child, afraid of scolding if they were truthful. You found yourself with heartstrings pulled just enough to soften your eyes - and tone.

“I promise, Lix.”

With your assurance, Felix slowly opened the bathroom door and peered his head out. Upon witnessing your genuine expression, he nodded his head and fully appeared in the doorway.

Why he’d thought you would laugh was beyond your comprehension. The fitted black button-up you’d provided him hugged him in the most flattering way, the top two buttons undone to show his unexpectedly toned neck and chest. The sleeves were rolled to just below the elbow, keeping the otherwise business-like look casual enough for a bar.

The deep blue jeans he’d brought himself, uncertain of the way Jisung’s may fit after realizing he had a tiny waist, we’re held up by a simple black belt. They, too, fit in such a way that it brought attention to just how in-shape he was. The shirt was only half tucked on one side, furthering the facade of a casual night out.

You hadn’t realized you were staring until your gaze connected with his concerned expression, “I told you I wasn’t sure…” he started, looking down as he shuffled his feet.

“You look so handsome, Felix.”

His expression morphed into one of shock as his cheeks burned under your earnest stare. He stammered for a moment, seemingly taken aback by the deadpan compliment. Even you were surprised with the ease of which it left your lips, almost before you’d even acknowledged just how good he looked.

“Th-thank you,” he whispered, shaking his head quickly as though to reset his mind.

You swallowed hard, not trusting your words as you simply nodded once and slid past him into the bathroom. He was a quick study, Felix, taking a seat on the closed toilet lid as soon as he saw you grab the comb from the countertop.

You weren’t sure why you felt nervous to reach out and touch his hair, a heavy weight dropping further into your stomach with every inch closer the comb got.

But, eventually you did manage to straighten up his unruly mane, neatening his part and tucking a few strands strategically behind his ears.

You stifled a shiver when the side of your hand grazed his cheek.

He sat silently, not uttering a single complaint while you worked. You were torn, though, between finding comfort or nerves in that silence.

“Done,” you acknowledged before setting the comb down, stepping back from Felix so he could catch a glimpse of himself in the mirror.

You’d have thought he’d gotten a completely new style by the way his eyes widened upon looking. He gingerly touched his bangs, brows furrowing - likely due to concern of messing it up - before he broke into a signature grin.

“Y/N, you gotta teach me how to do this!” he suddenly shouted, giddiness replacing any lingering doubt he’d felt throughout the preparations, “I didn’t think my hair could lay this nicely without gel! You’re a genius!” he giggled as he leaned in closer to the mirror, turning his head side to side to take in each detail.

“All I did was part it, Lix,” you said through a smirk, laughter hinting at the ends of your words, “But I’ll show you sometime.”

He grinned in reply before checking his phone, back straightening seriously before he squeaked, “We’ve gotta go! It’s time!”

You nodded your agreement, smiling warmly at the excited man before you. His excitement was contagious, warming your heart like the sun on the frostbitten grass of an October morning.

His warmth was undeniable, and everything was going so smoothly.

As you got into the passenger seat of his truck, he started the engine and turned to you - expression looking a bit guilty - before tilting his head, “Are you sure you wanna wait in the truck?”

“Lix, it’ll be fine, just remember what I told you,” you reassured him with a gentle look.

“You’ve helped me so much…” he started, pulling out into the street, “I guess…I guess I just don’t want you to have to just wait alone.”

You resisted the urge to ruffle his hair after all of your hard work, opting instead to smirk and tease him with a reminder, “You’re going there to get the girl, Lix, I don’t think you should be escorting another woman.”

“I s’pose you’re right…” he agreed, though resistantly.

“Of course I am,” you said with a poke to his freckled cheek, just as he pulled into a parking spot, “Now, go! Your love awaits.”

He gave you a grateful smile before getting out, leaving the truck running so you could have music and heat.

As he glanced back from the front entrance, you gave him a thumbs up - which he returned - before watching him disappear into the bar.

Your face fell as soon as he was out of sight. Everything was going exactly as it should, and all you needed to do now was wait.

So why, as you watched the well-dressed silhouette of Lee Felix, twenty-three year old bartender disappear as a patron into his establishment, were you so restless? Why did you sit with the weight of the world in your gut?

“Good luck, Felix,” you whispered to no one, clutching your phone in your hand as though an update from Felix were all that mattered in the world.

And, though you had meant it, the words that left your mouth only felt heavier.

#prove me wrong #lee felix #lee felix x reader #stray kids fanfiction #skz fanfic #skz fanfiction #skz fic #lee felix romance #lee Felix smut #author has been Mia but is back ok 🥹

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