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philomenie · 2 months

Text

Once in a lifetime

This is my first story to be published, so I'm very nervous.

i hope i've put all the content warnings, if i've forgotten anything, please let me know.

I would like to mention that English is not my mother tongue.

CN fluff, smut, anxiety, trauma, relationship anxiety, difficult situations, mention of betrayal of trust, cheating, 18+

@valiantroeagleangel

THREE

Mina

After blow-drying your hair and putting on your pyjamas, you grab your cell phone to see who has answered. Nothing!

Disappointment spreads through you.

You were absolutely expecting an answer, precisely because he behaved the way he did, his hug, the fact that he saved his number, your conversations, the closeness, all that can't be your imagination?

You are totally confused.

Then your cell phone vibrates and you check it excitedly.

Disappointed again, you see that it's just your brother Simon wanting to know if you've arrived safely.

Yes, everything's fine, I'm at the hotel in Willamette, tomorrow at noon I'm meeting Ella for lunch in a little café on campus!

Sounds good! Give her my love, also from Alva, Johan and Tilda!

I will, say hello back and kiss the 2 little ones for me!

They already miss their favorite aunt,

That's sweet, tell them I'll be back in 4 weeks!

See you soon sis, I love you!

I love you too Simon, kiss!

Your short conversation has distracted you a little, you check your messages again, then you switch to flight mode to sink quickly into Morpheus' arms.

Your alarm clock wakes you up far too early and you sleepily check the time.

Oh damn, really 11 o'clock already? You want to meet Ella in an hour.

Tired, you crawl out of bed and slip out of your clothes to take a quick shower and brush your teeth.

For your outfit, you choose your blue, ripped boyfriend jeans, a tight black top and your black cardigan with a hole pattern, your black ankle-high Docs and your obligatory cream-colored Birkin bag complete your outfit.

Your usual jewelry in silver, earrings, rings, today additionally your crown of thorns necklace, handmade according to your wishes. Something you gave yourself for your last birthday,

A little make-up, mascara and a light rose-colored lip gloss and you're done.

In the elevator, you check your messages again... nothing. You're sad and angry at the same time.

Angry at him for not getting in touch, for triggering such feelings in you and angry at yourself for allowing these feelings, this closeness.

Before the tears can fall, you throw your head back, stow your cell phone in your pocket and put on your aviator-style sunglasses.

Men.... Only problems with this species. Let that be a lesson to you once again. You're better off on your own!

And with that in mind, you leave your hotel.

When you arrive at the café, you spot Ella from the door, she jumps up happily and runs towards you, you fall into each other's arms, laughing and crying.

It's so good to see and feel her again. It's been far too long since you last saw each other!

You sit down at a table for two by the window and the waitress brings you the menu.

Ella opts for pancakes with syrup and a chai latte with oat milk, you take a normal coffee with milk, no sugar, plus scrambled eggs, bacon and French toast. You realize you're ravenous, the last time you ate was on the plane to Portland.

"Go on, tell me, how was Sweden? How are Simon and Alva? How are the little ones?"

"Sweden is great, Simon and Alva are incredible and the kids are just adorable!"

"Did you see David, Klara and Elsa during that time?"

"Yes, they came to Stockholm for Christmas, only you were missing...."

"Yes, I know.... It was too complicated for me, I had so much to do here, the study requirements are a lot heavier than at home"

"Hmm yeah, sure...."

You are silent for a moment, Ella avoids your gaze. You know exactly why, and why she didn't fly to Sweden, let alone back home.

You realize that she still hasn't come to terms with what happened a year ago in August.

You were able to come to terms with it yourself, the nightmares had stopped, thanks to your fantastic psychologist who guided you sensitively through the horror.

Ella rejected it all and is still visibly struggling with it.

You sigh, knowing that it's no good trying to get inside her, to confront her, she has to want help on her own and that might take some time.

Luckily, your food arrives and you pounce on it.

"So, how are you doing here? How's your roommate? Anshu? Or?"

"She's great, she's introduced me to Indian cuisine, we cook almost every day now, a real enrichment to the canteen food!"

"I'll take your word for it!"

"Then there's Lucas, Claire and Haru, who are also exchange students from the Netherlands, France and Japan. We're together almost all the time, doing things."

Ella continues to talk about her new friends, her activities and all the things she has planned for you.

You listen with a smile, but you can't stop thinking about him... damn him!!!

Joakim

"JOLLY, I'm sorry, but did you even hear what I said?"

Noah is a little annoyed that Joakim is just staring at his phone and not responding to his questions or the songs for the new album.

"What, did you say something?" Joakim is startled out of his thoughts.

"Yes, I was trying to get through to you! What the hell is wrong with you man? I don't know you like this at all?"

"Nahh nothing else," Joakim tries to divert from the topic, but Noah's skeptical look shows that he won't have any further success with this.

"Spit it out, what's bothering you!"

"It's about Mina.... She still hasn't contacted me" sighs Joakim.

"So Mina, still? I mean it's been almost a week now..."

"Yes, Mina, yes still" he growls indignantly and gets up from his chair to wander restlessly up and down the studio.

"I don't know why she's not contacting me and it's just driving me completely crazy! I mean, if you'd seen her, heard our conversations, the hug, everything... I don't get it!!!"

"Jolly.... I'm probably the worst counselor when it comes to that... I don't know how a relationship works myself"

"What about Amber? I thought that was something else? At least that's what it looks like to me!"

"Yaaaa Amber, I honestly like her, she's fantastic, the sex is amazing, I like having her around, she's not annoying, she's great... but I just don't know.…"

"Noah, honestly, don't blow it again just because you're thinking about it too much. She's honestly great and just lovely, everyone likes her, and I think Jesse has a crush on her friend Jules..."

"Jesse and Jules? Honestly?"

"Yeah man, didn't you realize that?"

"No, it slipped my mind."

"I'm just glad Rainy didn't show up here again!"

"Yeah, she could be quite pushy, Michael wanted to kick her out before you arrived...."

"If only he'd done that" growls Joakim

Then he tries to concentrate on the new songs.

Back in his room, he opens his laptop to google hotels in Willamette. 551 hits... Damn, he didn't expect there to be so many.

Frustrated, he closes the laptop and lies down on his bed, his gaze fixed upwards.

Mina.... Fuck, why don't you get in touch?

He jumps up, he needs answers, so he opens the laptop again with the search results. Ok, they had talked about destinations, what kind of accommodation you prefer, that should narrow down the hits a bit.

You said you prefer small, family-run hotels, fine, just 260.

Then the location, more on the outskirts, in the countryside, again a few less, only 120 hotels.

Ok, what else, remember Joakim!

Yes, exactly, pool is something you like to have with you so you can go swimming. 56 hotels. That's a manageable number.

He takes a deep breath, suddenly unsure whether he really...

Then he starts typing, a dial tone sounds

"The Allison In & Spa, Ashley Miller, what can I do for you?"

"Lamberts, Joak... DAVID Lamberts, I was wondering if you could deliver a message for my sister Mina Lamberts, who is staying at your hotel, I haven't been able to reach her for days...." Joakim is miserable at the lie, but how else could he find out which hotel you are staying in?

Meanwhile, the lady on the phone is typing data into her computer.

"Mr. Lamberts? I'm sorry, there is no Mina Lamberts among our guests! Are you sure she's here in our hotel?"

"Um, I thought so, excuse me, I'll check again and get back to you, thanks for your trouble!" and with that he quickly hangs up.

His heart is racing, should he really keep doing this? Pretend to be your brother? I'm sure you have reasons for not getting in touch, he's acting like a crazy stalker right now.

Damn!

Joakim paces up and down, rubbing his sweaty hands on his jeans. Damn, fuck, fuck, fuck.

The situation is driving him crazy, he can't think about anything else but you, he can still feel you in his arms, he remembers your scent.

No, he needs answers!

Determined, he reaches for his cell phone again and dials the nearest hotel number.

After 23 more unsuccessful attempts, he is more frustrated than ever before in his life. He gives himself an ultimatum: he will call 5 more hotels today, then that's half of the hotels that come into question. The rest tomorrow.

If none of them are a match.... He doesn't want to worry about that right now.

The 5 other hotels are also a miss. Then his gaze falls on a hotel that he had actually ruled out, Franziska Haus Bed and Breakfast. Franziska? A name from XY, your home country?

Maybe.... Excited, he dials the number!

"Franziska Haus Bed and Breakfast, Franziska Smithers, what can I do for you?" The voice has the same slight accent as you, Joakim's heart races, his mouth suddenly dry.

"Yes, uhm, David Lamberts here, I wanted to leave a message for my sister Mina Lamberts!"

"Mina Lamberts did you say?"

"Yes, Mina Lamberts, Mina Katharina Lamberts....."

"One moment please...."

Joakim has the feeling that time is standing still.

"Mr. Lamberts? A Mina Lamberts is currently a guest here with us. What message do you wish to convey?"

"Mina is with you?"

"Yes, as I said, a Mina Lamberts is our guest!"

Joakim exhales with relief.

"Thank you, thank you so much!" he says, before quickly hanging up without further explanation.

Joakim's legs tremble, he suddenly feels sick and has to sit down. He stares at the black display for a long time, unable to move.

A thought drills through his head, you've found her...

He now knows what he is doing, he hastily packs clothes and toiletries in a bag, takes his acoustic guitar from the wall and stows it in the case provided for it.

He quickly changes his clothes, pulls his hair into a half messy bun and grabs his sunglasses.

Then he runs downstairs, where astonished faces stare at him.

Noah and Amber are in the living room, Jesse and Jules (he knew it!!) are on the other couch, deep in conversation, Orie is rubbing Harper's back, sitting in the armchair.

All eyes are on him and his bags!

Noah is the first to break out of his stupor.

"What the hell are you up to now?"

"I'm going to see her, I know which hotel she's staying in!"

"JOLLY, YOU'RE NOT FUCKING SERIOUS!"

"But Noah, I've never been more serious, I need to see her, I need to sort this out, I need to know why, I need clarity, clarity as to whether I've imagined it all or not. Please understand, I MUST know!"

Noah shakes his head speechlessly, Amber looks at him in confusion and swallows.

Then she straightens her shoulders, "I think Jolly should drive! If he needs certainty, that's the only way he'll get it!"

Noah turns to her, shaking his head, "Have you gone mad too? There's this brilliant invention called a TELEPHONE!!!"

"Yes" Amber replies, now sharper, "But what if she doesn't answer? Then what smarty pants?"

Noah gasps

"I think it's totally romantic if you want to be specific!" she hisses.

"Romantic? You could also call it STALKING," growls Noah.

"You're impossible Noah Sebastian Davis!" and with that she jumps up angrily.

Walks up to Joakim, hugs him "You're doing the right thing, trust me! What you told me about Mina, go to her, sort it out in person, that's always best!"

And with one last angry look at Noah, Amber takes her bag and leaves the house.

"What was that about?" Orie asks, confused.

"I don't know," Noah is stunned.

"Oh Noah, you still have a lot to learn about women!" laughs Jules, turning to Joakim and saying "Go to her Joakim, no matter how it turns out, you'll know, I'll keep my fingers crossed that everything turns out okay!"

"Yeah, man, me too," smiles Jesse.

"Nobody listens to me here anyway," sulks Noah, "Then I guess I have no choice but to wish you luck!" and with that he hugs Joakim.

"Come back safely, we need you here!"

"Thanks man, and if I may give you some advice, go after Amber, she's worth it!"

"Uhum... maybe you're right..." Noah concedes.

Joakim stows his luggage in his car, an Audi R8, another luxury he has afforded himself, gets in and drives off.

Mina

The first week almost flies by, when Ella has lectures and seminars, you explore the city and the surrounding area. You've discovered a second-hand bookshop and various antique stores where you can spend hours.

You would love to stock up on books, furniture and home accessories there.

Just today you're standing in front of a shelf full of old signs and milk churns. You can think of a thousand things you could do with them.

Sighing, you turn away to look at the jewelry.

The rings catch your eye, one in particular, a wide rose gold hoop with a transparent stone, a diamond?

Rose gold would look wonderful on Ella's fair skin. Unlike you, Ella has a lighter skin tone and medium blonde curls, a spitting image of your deceased father, whereas you could be your mother's twin sister.

The thought of your parents still makes you sad, you wish you could have gone to your mother for advice. About so many things, but currently about Joakim.

He still hasn't responded to your message.

You shoo the thought of him aside and ask the sales assistant to take the ring from the display. When you try it on, it fits perfectly. You smile and decide to buy it for Ella.

You choose an antique pair of silver dangle earrings with a garnet stone for yourself.

Elated, you leave the store to meet up with Ella in what has become your favorite café.

She's already there, waiting for you, and when she sees you come in, her eyes light up in anticipation. You suspect she has something planned...

"Hey Ella, sorry, I forgot the time in that one store, if I'm not careful I'll spend all my money in there!" you laugh at her.

"It's okay, I've only just arrived, I had a quick chat with my lecturer after my psychology class, the one I told you about..."

"Um, the young, handsome lecturer?" you tease her

"Yes, exactly him!" grins Ella

"I told him about you" she suddenly blurts out.

"You did what????" you blurt out in horror.

"He told me about you, that you have a degree in psychology, worked in a renowned psychotherapy practice and then set up your own practice, he was quite interested, at least that's what I thought...."

You have to swallow and look at her open-mouthed. Stunned, you want to start when she continues.

"I've invited him to dinner tonight, one more person really doesn't matter! And besides, distraction is the best thing for lovesickness!"

You're even more speechless than before, which hardly ever happens, and just stare at Ella.

"Have you taken leave of your senses? I mean are you out of your mind? You can't just invite a guy I don't even know! What's more, he's your lecturer! Are you still in your right mind? And what do you mean by heartbreak? It was a flirtation with Joakim, nothing more!"

"Yeah, go on lying to yourself about your guitarist!" Ella snaps sourly "You keep checking your messages to see if he hasn't replied after all, you look sad when you think I can't see it, I'm neither stupid nor blind! You've fallen for this musician and you've really fallen for him! I can't remember it being as bad with Christopher..."

"Please don't mention that huge asshole in this context!" you growl bitterly "He can rot somewhere else for all I care!"

Ella leans back "Right, not another word about the giant asshole! Then what should I call the other one?"

"Who?" you ask, confused.

"Well Joakim," grins Ella.

You roll your eyes, annoyed.

"What do Anshu and the others say about you inviting your lecturer to dinner? I mean, you want to cook together at Kelly's house, don't you?"

Ella grins even more "Well, to be honest, the idea came from Anshu and Claire.... I was just the executor, because I get on best with Ethan…"

Your eyebrows go up, "ETHAN? You're on first-name terms with your lecturer?"

"Chill, everyone calls him that, he offered at the beginning of the semester. Ethan Turnbull, to be precise. He's also published a few books, by the way, so you can see if you know anything about him," explains Ella.

You take a deep breath and sort yourself out, even though you'd like to strangle your little sister!

"Ella, dear, please, unload him again, I don't want to and I can't, ok?! Besides, I don't HAVE my own practice anymore, as you know very well!"

Ella's gaze darkens, she swallows, sits up straight in her chair and looks you straight in the eye "I know that very well Mina, you certainly don't have to remind me, I was there.... As.... As.... You know what I mean, I know why you gave up the practice!"

You sigh, realizing that this is the worst possible time to start dealing with this issue.

"Ella, please, tell him no, make up what I know, I don't want this!" you beg her.

"Mina, I can't possibly cancel on him, I don't even have his number or home address!"

"You're not fucking serious!" you choke out.

"But I'm fucking serious, or do you think I'm going to ask my LECTURER for his number or address?" Ella is outraged.

"I'd trust you with anything," you growl in frustration.

"Pfffff" is all you hear from Ella.

Damn, how do I get out of this number, your mind is racing. The last thing you want to do is have dinner with that psychology lecturer. You just wanted to cook with Ella and her friends and then eat, have fun, maybe go out afterwards.

Now this is completely inconvenient for you, because.... Because.... Yes, damn it, because your heart is still with this impossible, attractive, unreliable, charming, incredible man, with him.

And you could slap yourself for that.

"He's really not ugly, if that makes you feel better," Ella interrupts your thoughts.

"Who?"

"Ethan, he's tall, blond, longer hair and athletic, he plays rugby and coaches a kids' team. And he has a dog, Spot, a husky mongrel, totally cute! Spot is often at the seminar with us!" explains Ella.

"Dog sounds good," you agree.

"Well, that's a plus for Ethan! Joakim certainly doesn't have a dog!" grins Ella.

"I don't know, I don't think so!" you sigh and admit defeat for now.

Okay then, dinner with the lecturer on top of everything else.

What else can go wrong today?

"Great, then you'll come by at 7 pm? You know where, you have Kelly's address, don't you? And put on something nice!"

"ELLA KONSTANZE LAMBERTS IT'S ENOUGH NOW," you get indignant, "Who are you? Our mother?"

"No, your sister, she wants you to laugh again!" comes the simple reply.

You can't add anything to that.

"And when will you be happy again?" you ask her cautiously.

Her eyes darken again "I'm not unhappy, you know. I just don't want to talk about it, not now, not here. I just want to forget about it and go on living normally, as if nothing ever happened, you know?"

You nod at her.

"I can't go through that again, I was afraid of losing you too Mina, I didn't care that I could have died then, I was just afraid that he would kill you, like, like ....." her voice trails off.

You lean over to her and hug her tightly, comforting her, stroking her back as you hear her quiet sobs.

"Shhhhh Ella, it's all right, it's over, I'm here, it's all right, I'm not going anywhere, I promised you, I'll stay with you!"

"Always? Promise?" comes quietly from Ella's mouth.

"Always, I promise, as long as you can put up with me!" you smile.

"Good, because I can still put up with you!" Ella smiles again.

"Well then, everything's perfect! Come on, let's finish eating, I've found a little something for you!"

"Ohhhhh what is it?" Ella is delighted, she is still like a little child bursting with curiosity when it comes to surprises and presents.

Smiling, you reach into your Birkin bag and hand her the small dark blue velvet-covered box.

Ella happily takes it and opens it.

"Ohhhh Mina, how beautiful! THANK YOU!"

"You're welcome little mouse!"

At the mention of her nickname, Ella makes a face and tries on the ring, which fits like a glove.

"Okay, I won't take it off, it looks fantastic!" she gushes.

You smile lovingly at her.

After dinner, Ella heads off to her duties again, not bothering to ask you to be punctual first, she knows you're usually late, one of your little mistakes.

You roll your eyes and promise to be on time, in "appropriate" attire, as requested, no band shirts or ripped jeans, your favorite outfits.

You slowly stroll towards the hotel, when you arrive you decide to take a hot shower and wash your hair. Then you want to take care of your outfit.

Your long dark green skirt with small cream-colored flowers, the dark green top and a short cream-colored cardigan should be suitable enough.

You mainly want to do Ella a favor, you don't care about Ethan.

You sigh at the thought of spending the evening looking after a psychologist who is a complete stranger to you.... So far, all the male psychologists you've met have been complicated in their own way. And the last thing you need is a complicated man!

Or a man in your life at all.

The story with Joakim has shown you again that it's better not to trust anyone, not to let your feelings get in the way.

You only get hurt and you never want to be hurt again, by anyone, you never want to feel helplessly at the mercy of a situation or feelings, ever again!!!

Joakim

After about 16 hours of driving, with short breaks, he finally reaches Willamette.

He is tired and excited at the same time.

How will you react?

Do you even want to see him?

What if you don't feel the same as he does....

Joakim becomes uncertain, what if Noah was right? It's stalking, he found out about your hotel through lies and now he's standing outside the hotel.

Creep!!! it goes through his head.

What if you're thinking the same thing?

Unsure, he puts his head on the steering wheel and stares ahead of him.

He no longer knows whether it was right to drive here. Shouldn't he go straight back?

Just forget everything?

But there is this tugging in his chest.... Longing?

He looks up, suddenly he sees you coming out of the hotel, at first he thinks he's going to die on the spot, then he quickly ducks away so that you don't recognize him.

He peers cautiously out of his side window, sees you make your way to the parking lot and open a Ford Fiesta, get in and drive off towards the city center.

Joakim is hot and cold and nauseous at the same time, God he's nauseous and dizzy, he has to open the door and breathe in and out deeply, otherwise he feels like he's either going to pass out or throw up.

He feels like a teenager in love for the first time, not a grown man of 35!

Pull yourself together and make a decision Karlsson, he tells himself.

Easier said than done, he still has pudding legs and feels sick as a dog.

He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes and decides to take a room in the hotel for now, he can make a decision there too.

Hopefully they still have rooms available, he thinks.

A friendly looking middle-aged lady stands at the reception desk

"Welcome to Fanziska Haus, what can I do for you?"

"Karlsson, Joakim Karlsson, I haven't booked, a spontaneous trip, I wanted to ask if you have a room available?"

"Oh, just a moment please, I'll have a quick look!"

The lady, whose name tag reads Sarah, types quickly on her keyboard and looks intently at the screen.

"Ahh, you're in luck, I can offer you room no. 14. How long are you planning to stay?"

"Uhmm, that depends on certain circumstances..." Joakim squirms.

Sarah smiles at him questioningly.

"Yeah, so for one night, I guess? Maybe longer... like one, two, three weeks?" he stutters.

"Oh, a little more specific would be good, Mr. Karlsson! One night is no problem at all, but several weeks is, because the room is booked elsewhere. You could then, or rather would have to, move to another room. Would that be a solution for you?" Sarah offers in a friendly manner.

"Yes, that sounds good, yes, that would be brilliant if you could arrange it that way!" Joakim beams.

"Good Mr. Karlsson, then I would need your personal details for the registration, how do you want to pay? By credit card?"

"Yes, credit card!"

Once everything is settled, Sarah hands him the key card for his room and wishes him a pleasant stay.

Joakim is glad to finally be able to lie down for a while. Once in the room, he leaves his luggage in his bag and throws himself tiredly onto the bed, only to fall asleep a little later.

When he wakes up again, it's late afternoon, FUCK, how long has he been asleep?

He looks frantically at his cell phone, 4 pm and 3 messages from Noah, 5 from Vincent...

Joakim rolls his eyes in annoyance and opens one after the other.

They both want to know where he is, whether he's arrived, how you reacted, whether you reacted, or whether he found you at all, when he's coming back to LA, whether he's still alive....

Idiots he thinks lovingly and types the same message for both of them:

Am at the same hotel as Mina

I saw her briefly, she's really here, but she didn't see me, I checked into the hotel first and am now in my room.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do next, I still have to think about it. I'll be in touch, you don't need to send me any more messages!

Jolly

What am I going to do, how am I going to meet her? Wait in the lobby?

"Hey Mina, how are you? You haven't contacted me yet, so I've been spying on you to find out exactly where you are, and tadaa here I am!"

Oh God, CREEEEEEEEEP!!! it roars in his head

Joakim sighs in frustration, he can't possibly do that!

His brain rattles, suddenly he has an idea.

He quickly searches his cell phone to see if there is a flower store or something similar in Willamette. Zack, hit. He grins with satisfaction and taps select.

"Willamette Flower Delivery Serving, Ava speaking, what can I do for you?"

"Karlsson here, I need a bouquet of flowers that can be delivered today!"

"Within Willamette that's no problem, Mr. Karlsson, what bouquet would you like and where, to whom, would you like it delivered? The bouquets can be found on our homepage."

Joakim quickly scrolls through the offer and spontaneously decides on the Garden Bouquet with white hydrangeas, pink and pink roses, rose-colored lilies, light pink button flowers and white margarites, plus various grasses and leaves.

He hopes you like the flowers, that he has met your taste.

"The Garden Bouquet, please deliver this to Mina Lamberts, M-I-N-A L-A-M-B-E-R-T-S," he quickly spells out, "Currently at Franziska Haus Bed and Breaktfast, here in Willamette!"

"Ok, I've written everything down, how do you want to pay?"

"Credit card, I'll put the card number through......!"

"All right Mr. Karlsson, I'll see to it that the bouquet is delivered today!"

"Can you tell me roughly when that will be?" he asks.

"Uhm, we have another big order here, in about 2 to 3 hours? By the way, would you like to add a greetings card?"

Joakim thinks about it

"No greeting card directly, but do you have a card with a guitar?"

"No, unfortunately, but I could print a guitar on the card if that would help you!"

"Yes, it does, thank you very much!" Joakim is relieved.

Now he just has to sit down in the lobby in 2 hours and wait for the flower delivery man... Just because it's all so easy!

In the meantime, he unpacks his things, showers, puts on fresh clothes and sets off in search of somewhere to eat.

The hotel itself only serves breakfast, and Sarah, the nice receptionist, tells him where he can get something to eat in the city.

With this information, he drives into town and stops in front of a nice-looking restaurant. The menu on the sign outside the restaurant promises a variety of burgers, just what he's in the mood for.

After he has eaten, the world looks a little more confident again. He decides to take a stroll through the city, keeping an eye on the time - he doesn't want to be back too late, that would ruin his whole plan!!!

A small antique store catches his attention, he looks curiously into the shop window, only to freeze shortly afterwards. YOU are in the store, bent over the sales counter. You take out various pieces of jewelry and look at them.

Joakim's mouth is suddenly completely dry again, he can't move, he watches spellbound as you decide on a ring and a pair of earrings and pay. You turn towards the exit and walk towards it...

He finally breaks out of his stupor and quickly disappears around the corner. From there, he looks after you as you walk down the street towards the university.

Damn him? No, he has a plan, this would have been chaotic and unplanned, it would have suddenly overwhelmed him.

He sees that you're going to a café near the campus.

Should he?

No, not that you'll discover him when he's looking for you at the window.

He's breathing heavily, fuck, he's going to have a heart attack!

Shortly before 6 p.m., Joakim walks into the hotel lobby and, with a quick glance, decides on a seating area in a corner of the lobby with a good view of the entrance and reception.

Now he just has to wait.... He can do that perfectly by now, he remarks sarcastically.

Time passes, no flower delivery man in sight, Joakim gets nervous, he taps his foot, taps his fingers rhythmically on the table, checks the time again and again.

He has been waiting for almost an hour....

Suddenly a young man enters the lobby with a bouquet of flowers wrapped in tissue paper and Joakim stands up tensely.

The young man is talking to Sarah at reception.

Joakim steps closer to overhear the conversation.

He comes within earshot just in time, right when Sarah calls your room number, 23!

You have room number 23, Yess!

The flower messenger heads for the elevator and Joakim hurries to the stairwell, where he hastily sprints to the second floor to arrive before the messenger.

His plan works, he has made it before him.

The messenger steps out of the elevator and looks around, Joakim watches him closely.

Then he heads towards room no. 23, just before he can knock, Joakim is at his side.

"Excuse me, but are these the flowers for Mina Lamberts?" he asks innocently.

The messenger is confused, but confirms the question.

"Wonderful!" Joakim beams, "I've given the order, you can leave the flowers to me, I'll deliver them myself!"

The messenger looks at him in disgust, "Uhh, yes, no, that's not possible, I have to deliver the flowers, otherwise my boss will give me hell, and I don't even know if her details are correct!"

"Ok, I can show you my ID," Joakim offers, "that should confirm my identity, and there's a guitar on the greeting card! Who would know that if not me, the client?"

The messenger becomes uncertain and opens the card to make sure.

"Yes well, then....." he stammers!

"Perfect!" grins Joakim, takes the flowers and slips the messenger a tip.

He grins, nods at Joakim and disappears towards the elevator.

Joakim waits until he is alone in the hotel corridor.

Heart pounding, he unwraps the flowers, positions himself in front of your door, lifts the flowers so that his face is not immediately recognizable and clears his throat several times.

Sweat breaks out from every pore, dizziness and nausea set in again.

If not now, then when, he thinks to himself, death-defyingly, and knocks energetically on your door!

#joakim karlsson #joakim jolly karlsson #jolly karlsson #jolly #bad omens #bad omens band #credits to original owner #bad omens cult #joakim jolly karlsson fanfiction #joakim karlsson fanfiction #bad omens fanfiction #jolly fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction

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gladiolidiaries · 9 months

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can give you an idea of their meetups these are the ones we know about plus one controversial one that I believe is worth mentioning to either prove or disprove definitively. please feel free to add any ones missing or correct any mistakes as I'm doing this from memory

2022

Feb: Valentine's day week

March: England, on separate streams they both said they decided to go at the last minute, they were spotted alone together in a video with a fan

April: LA

May: LA again with foolish after his nc/florida roadtrip

June: New York where they were spotted by a fan alone shopping (there's a clip of it somewhere on twitter), Tinacon, karl was also in LA prior to Tinacon but no idea how many times they met up during that time

July: Tinacon continued, LoL tournament in Las Vegas, on a foolish fall guys stream tina talked about going to nc for karl's bday but for some reason this didn't happen

August: Tina went to NC

Sept: Tina went to New York followed by Karl a few days later, people say he was busy working but one of the otv vlogs showed he was with their group, LA again for Name Your Price, Karl was in LA a while before leaving to England

Oct: after getting back from England late sept karl went straight back to LA and didn't leave until mid Oct, early oct he announced getting a place in la within days of tina announcing moving there at the end of sept.

Dec: the controversial one that is NOT PROVEN, but it is believed by some that she flew to portland to spend time with karl and his family between dec 14-17th (that's the week they celebrated christmas), those who believe this theory point to several things such as tina saying she was going to be unavailable, then several hours later someone on twitter saying they spotted her at lax on the 14th, her being absent from all social media and even discord during that time, as well as karl streaming from her room on the 17th saying he just got off a plane an hour ago suggesting they flew back together and then went straight to her place. also they spent the 17-23/24th together. again the portland meetup is a theory, nobody actually knows where she was during that time.

2023

Feb: Valentines week NC, tina stayed at karls house

March: around 9/10 karl went to la and didn't leave for 2 weeks

April: early april karl went to la again stayed a few days, then flew back with tina to nc she again stayed at his house, then in late april tina flew to japan to see him

May: karl and tina stay almost the entire first week of may in japan

June: 6/7 karl flies to la to watch spiderman with her and leaves after only being there two days, we know this because they told the same story about the movie experience they had watching it, neither knew the other told the story and neither mentioned the other was there. then they met up sometime around the 18th of june again and hung out til the end of vidcon where he briefly left to go with mr beast before coming back on the 28th and staying through july 6/7

July: stayed until the last possible moment before leaving to pack for paris, tina then flies on the 18th to nc to spend time with him on his bday, again staying at his house

August: 7-12th from what I've seen others mention

those are the ones I'm aware of between 2022 and now... with maybe one or two missing in september of 2022 and possibly others missing as well. I'm sure someone else with more knowledge can fill you on on 2021

wow anon this is so good. they really do meet at least once a month but usually twice a month. that's quite telling cause karl is always travelling but he makes time for her.

would love to know more about 2021 if anyone knows the lore

#kina timeline

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mega-hustler-blog · 1 year

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lewiselder · 2 years

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I’m 79 and my husband still loves me - 2 short stories

well motherfucking well

i know that ain’t who i think it is!

unfortunately, it’s exactly who you think it is.

the last time i added to this was the summer before covid. that was, what, summer 2019? so about 150 years ago. i’m out of practice, so if the writing in this is shittier than the other ones, forgive me and fuck you, you write it then! nah jk but it will be worse but hopefully not too much worse

what a motherfucker of a time to be living in! truly a shit show all around. but i hope if you’re reading this, that you are doing well.

covid largely meant that, for a while, my interactions with people were limited, which in turn meant way fewer arm stories. now that we’ve all resigned to getting literal SARS multiple times a year, things have picked up steam over the past 6-8 months.

and you know what that fucking means!

it means i’ve had some real day ruiner interactions that result in written content that 20 people read on the toilet!

so without much further ado, let’s dive right the fuck in! we’re gonna do 2 short (i can’t like be held legally accountable for saying short and then them not being that short, can i?) stories, so we have a lot to cover today

1) big stupid balding corny soft ass werido fuckface loser

alright lol. so this story is something that happened just last week and then again today (writing this on June 12th), so very recent.

every sunday morning i play pick up basketball. there’s a 9:30 game and a 10:30 game. i usually play in both. it’s essentially a YMCA style league with varying skill levels. if you know me, you know that there are very few things in life i do for, “fun.” i am not a fun person. i’m a productive person, a hard working person, but not a fun one. i’m working on it. however, i do really have fun hooping.

last week i didn’t play because i had tweaked my hamstring the week before. my friend jake still went. he comes back from playing and goes, “man you’ll never guess what happened”

he tells me that while at basketball, he starts talking to some guy on his team -we’ll call this guy Baldy for reasons we will discuss momentarily.

Baldy tells Jake he just moved to Portland from Austin, Tx. Jake, who used to live in Austin, is like oh nice, I lived in Austin for a number of years. Baldy continues on. After a few comments, he says something along the lines of:

“Man I played basketball recently with a guy with one arm. He shot a lot and he was making em, but I don’t know if those are the best shots, ahaha yeah man Portland is a weird city”

Jake tells me this. Turns our I had (obviously) recently played with this guy. I remembered him. He’s a tall white dude with the tattoos of an edgy barista, thinning hair, and big barback energy. very cool! He seemed to me to be the flavor of white guy where he probably really loves camping and also might later murder his wife and kids. Does that make sense?

Now, I’m used to ppl mentioning having played ball with a guy with one arm, that doesn’t bother me.

What fucking bothers me is:

1) so even if I make shots, it’s not a good shot because...why? and

2) Portland, an entire motherfucking city, is weird because...I fucking exist within it? That’s why Portland is weird? Because I get my weird ass up at 7:30am every Sunday morning (kind of a weird time to wake up and on a weird day too, idk), drink some weird fucking coffee, put on my weird pants one weird leg at a time, and drive my weird ass across this weird city to make some weird and purportedly ill-advised shots? Ok!

Ok! OK! Alright!

Jake didn’t necessarily see the issue at first, but I was pretty fucking mad immediately. This dude, a virtual stranger to me, went to Jake, a legitimate stranger to him, and used me as fucking small talk? And to talk shit???

Baldy! I know you don’t have much going on in whatever insurance salesman hell your life is, but I’m gonna need you to bone up on some other subjects over the next lonely IPA you drink in your ugly 1 bedroom apartment while googling, “tattoo ideas, original, not feathers” and “best hairstyles for thinning hair”

I’ve heard they are doing wonderful things in the world of hair restoration! You could perhaps start there! “Man so yesterday I finally decided to try Hims...” - there! I already gave you a nice, easy start! It is clear to me why your extremely thin hair and suicidal hairline seem to be doing everything they can to escape being close to your brain.

Soooooooooo, fast forward to this week, my hamstring is all healed up! And guess who’s been on my mind!

That’s right - Baldy has! And guess who I see at the gym. I’ll give you a hint: he has a forrest tattoo on his forearm (don’t know if he actually does but seems near impossible he wouldn’t) and hair as whispy as a rolling field of wheat.

After the games, I go up to Baldy

[now, as always, the dialogue below is somewhat paraphrased, but it was super recent so it’s as close to accurate as i’m going to get]

Me: “I heard that you, a stranger to me, go up to other strangers and talk about me to those strangers?”

Baldy: *very very caught off guard* “Oh uhhh yeah I mean, sorry man I just, [idk he said some other shit here apologizing]”

Me: “Don’t ever fucking talk about me. Why would you talk about me? That’s some fucking weirdo, loser shit. What kind of weirdo does that? Talks about someone they don’t know to someone else they don’t know?”

Baldy: [hair falling out everywhere] “yeah i said i’m sorry, you don’t ever talk about people you play with?”

Me: “Uhhh not like that I fucking don’t. It’s not my responsibility that you don’t have shit else going on in your life to talk about but I need you to find a new ice breaker. Don’t ever fucking talk about me again man”

Baldy: [general uncomfortable stammering] “alright man i’m sorry i won’t”

And that’s pretty much it. I just stared at him a little and then packed my shit and left.

I have a lot of crazy shit happen to me, and while this doesn’t have the WOW factor of some other stories, this particular one has made me so fucking mad.

For some weirdo hipster to run his fucking mouth about me to a complete stranger, when him and I have literally had 0 real interactions, to insinuate that because he saw me and interacted with me that Portland is a weird city (which, hey man I also lived in Austin for 2 years) is the type of shit that should get you punched in the fucking head.

But, much to my absolute chagrin, I am almost 30 and I am “mature” and “in therapy” and have a “career” and so I can’t punch this guy in the fucking face. All I can do is embarrass him in front of some random people and hopefully make the rest of his day way worse, just like he did mine.

This thin scalped man tied together a comment about an entire city being weird to me just literally existing while doing the same activity as him. I’m also pretty sure he shot like 4-12 from the field today lol but those were all great shots!

I don’t know. Just fucking leave people alone, man. It sucks because really, what the fuck can I even do? If you have any real marginalized identity (not you, white guy with painted nails!) you no doubt know this feeling all too motherfucking well.

Even after confronting him (which yo, I did not want to do - it’s fucking nerve wracking and uncomfortable but I feel like I literally have to) I feel so unsatisfied. I have equitable justice blue balls. But that’s part of maturity, I fucking guess.

Anyway, that’s it. Fuck that dude. I’m sure I’ll see his stupid ass next week.

2) I’m 79 and my husband still loves me!

now, i have 2 other recent stories. one is insane, and one is just kind of quirky and light hearted. I figured we should round out the above hate fest with something a little more light hearted, so we’re gonna go with the latter and thankfully, I have just the thing!

this happened about, oh idk, 3-4 weeks ago. i was at the gym, headphones on and head down, when a very old woman with a walker kind of snuck up behind me trying to get by. i immediately moved out of the way, but i noticed she was trying to say something to me.

i take out my airpods and turn to face her. she is very, very old looking. she has maybe 2 teeth, is dressed in one of those old lady grandma style gowns, and is using a walker like i mentioned.

she starts by saying, “you’re really strong! you don’t let that stop you” *motions to my arm*

her voice is literally like a whisper. like, she’s not whispering intentionally, but her voice is so soft it’s like i’m imagining i’m hearing it more so than actually hearing it.

she also speaks almost painfully slowly. it’s like there’s a toll booth in her mouth and each word has to settle its debt before being allowed to escape.

i say oh thanks and smile.

she then goes, “you have pretty eyes”

i’m like ok well that’s new lmao new gym compliment unlocked!

i say thanks, and she continues, “you’re doing a great job. you really are. don’t stop. just don’t stop. i’m 79 and i’m here! tell your mom you’re a good kid. she must be so proud of you.”

i’m just kind of smiling and saying thank you over and over at this point. she’s very sweet, albeit a little all over the place topic wise.

“i died once 3 years ago”

my interest is suddenly renewed!

“my husband caught my head before it hit the floor!”

wow, i say, oh my gosh!

“i hurt my husband when i died. he had to be home alone for a month! but I couldn’t do anything about it because I was in a place with a white light. I didn’t know if I was going or coming!”

well i’m so glad you’re still here!

“me...too...i bet your mom loves you. i have 5 children, 1 adopted 4 kids he found in a dumpster!”

wait he found 4 kids in a dumpster??

“people need to know there are consequences of having sex!”

totally but wait can we go back to that part about the dumpster

“i’m just so proud of you. you’re very special.”

[long pause as we look deep into each others eyes, hers cloudy with either wisdom or cataracts, mine undoubtedly baggy and bloodshot]

“heh! but hey, i’m 79 and my husband still loves me!”

that’s honestly pretty impressive. i think we’d all be pretty lucky to have that.

“yes!..and...[contemplative sigh] it’s just so nice to walk around“

as those words slowly crawled out, she said them with a soft, satisfied grin, one that can only exist in the absence of doubt

and that was pretty much the end of the interaction. i agreed and gave her a warm smile. she gave me one back before making her way back across the gym.

i still see her at my gym a couple times a week. she’s still 79, and as far as i know, her husband still loves her. he fucking better, or a man with pretty eyes whose mom must be proud of him is going to come cave his chest in.

no introspective arm analysis on this one. all kind old ladies get to do and say whatever the fuck they want to me (unless they say something super crazy i guess lol) and i’m usually grateful for the interaction on some level.

and she’s right.

through all the absolute nuclear bullshit that life entails, through all the big stupid balding corny soft ass werido fuckface losers, through the pain and grief, heartbreak and anxiety, it’s honestly just so nice to walk around

here’s 2 pictues of my dog, ralph

*youve unlocked 1 free unsolicited compliment or insult if you read this far - your choice*

#lewis elder #lewie armstrong #disability #disabled #disability pride #st. louis #portland #basketball

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poprock-the-baker · 3 years

Text

Daddy's Work Trip

(My First Ever TF Story I Made, Enjoy!)

-[The Past Week]-

My dad had been ordered on a business trip, he was to be going off across the states for a good solid week. Now normally that wouldn't be a problem at all, normally I say. But he just so happened to ground me earlier this week had taken all my electronics other than my phone. So before he leaves on his trip I need to find them so he can't hide them before I can get them safe. Today I just so happen to have the chance to go and search.

-[Present Day]-

"Now don't you think about finding your stuff James. I will return it all to you and get you something else if you don't try to pull one over on me. I need to go get another suitcase at the store before my flight. So I will see you when I get home to say goodbye before my flight out." My dad said before he kissed my forehead and turned to the door. "Don't be mad. You were the one who decided to break coffee pots with your fucking stupid soft drinks. See you soon Jamey." He reached for the door and proceeded to walk out and headed to the store.

About ten minutes when by and I felt it was a good amount of time by then. "Ok so he should be gone for now. Now let's check around his took for my laptop. He will just easily think he misplaced it when he gets home. So lets check his suitcase first. He might take it with him on his trip to keep it out of my reach the entire time." Proceeding to his room I looked around for his casually vibrant pink suitcase. You could guess he was either a very feminine man, or he was gay. Him being the latter. He came out to me about 8 years ago when I was 11. So I have known his sexuality for a while, doesn't bother me though. I pull his suitcase onto his bed and zipped it open. "Ok dad. Lets see what you are taking on your trip." Looking inside I couldn't really see anything other than his clothes. "Please don't tell me I betrayed his trust for nothing." As I say that I move the clothes over and see my computer. "I KNEW HE WAS GOING TO TAKE IT WITH HIM! Well, don't mind me while I just take my property." I reach inside and go to grab my computer. As I do I brush my hand against something sharp and get pricked a little deeply. "Well shit! That hurts. But it isn't like i got blood on anything. He won't be able to know. I just-" I start to feel lightheaded. "I just need to… To… To rest…" My body gets extremely heavy and starts to burn and soon they all end and I pass out.

-[2 hours later]-

"H-Huh… What happened?" I try to go rub my eyes as I opened them but I realized I couldn't move my arms, and not just that. I soon realized my entire body was paralyzed. As I started to panic I could hear a car pull up. "Shit! What do I do?! I guess I just need to tell him I'm sorry and get his help." I waited in my dad's room for about ten minutes before I started to worry. But they are soon brushed over as my dad stepped into his room. "Oh thank god. Dad! Something happened! I can't see to move, can you call the hospital?" Nothing. "Dad? Why aren't you answering me?" No answer. "Dad?" I don't understand whats going on. Not until he gets closer to the bed, and he keeps getting larger. "Where did that damn boy go, cause it looks like he tried to get his computer Cyrus.." He wasn't talking to me, but he turned and I saw her had his ear piece in and was on the phone. "Yeah I know I was just a bit hard. But he can't just decide he has the right to break everything and leave it for me to pay for." Is he still upset? Why can't he notice me! "Do I see the piece you sent for me to buy? Yeah I'm looking right at it babe. Are you sure its ok to if I wear it? It looks very beautiful and I don't want it to get saliva on it. And before you say it, yes I know a tongue piercing is supposed to get saliva on it but you know I collect some and just dont wear them." As he spoke I got worried. He was speaking of a gift he bought as he looked at me. What is going on. "Ok fine I'll wear it babe. Thanks for getting me the piercings babe. I love you." He hangs up the phone and then gets on his knees and looks at me. "You are one lucky piece of jewelry little guy. I'm positive James would have stolen you if he found you. But now you get to come along with me for my trip. And get to see the inside of my mouth as well!" "Dad? What are you doing. What do you mean jewelry! It's me! James! Why can't you see me! I'm your son not jewelry." I said to him. But nothing seemed to register for him. It was like… I wasn't me. And soon I realized what was happening. Jewelry? Tongue piercing? Not noticing me? I couldn't believe it and didn't want to. But soon my dad grabbed me and took me into his mouth, and having taken out his old piercing, he put me in. I started to panic and soon, even though I seemingly had no brain anymore, my anxiety kicked in and, having an anxiety attack, I passed out. Days passed without me waking. By that time my dad was already out of our state.

-[3 Days Later]-

I hadn't figured out where James went before I left for my trip and I hadn't gotten a call or message from him either. I was now in Portland, Oregon. My business meeting was taking place later today but I was currently eating at a cafe and waiting for my boyfriend to meet me here. I finally see him and wave him in. "Hey Cyrus! I'm glad to see you again." I got in and take a hug before I kiss him and slip my tongue inside his mouth and letting our tongues play for a second before I go back and sit down and drink my coffee.

I wake up to a harsh and assaulting situation. I was in a dark place and there was no light coming in at all. It felt really damp and humid. And something kept on hitting me under and over me. Soon, I figure out where I was. My father still hasn't noticed I was his tongue piercing. What just happened was that I had taken a part in my dad's makeup session. I feel like it can only get worse from here.

Cyrus comes and sits next to me and I kiss his cheek softly. "So you are gonna meet me again tomorrow after my business duty is over right? Its gonna be the last day I'm here so I thought we could enjoy our special time together doing some special things. What do you think?" He seems to be thinking it over and I soon know he is just playing with me. "Of course babe! I got a new place as well and we can bust it in when you stay before your flight home." I lean in for another kiss and decide to whisper in his ear. "how about we feel you up and suck your off big boy? Let's let this new piercing get broken in as well, not just the bed~" I bite his ear playfully before he speaks. "I actually have a gift for you to have once we get to my place. So just you wait and you'll be having tons of fun! I got to jet now though. See you at my place tomorrow?" I accept and wave him off before finishing my coffee and heading to my business conference.

Over the course of the next hours I am assaulted his hot beverages that burn my skin, cold water that chills by metal bones, gritty food that hits my head, and so much more. I am just excited for this trip to be over. Hopefully my dad will find a way to get me back to normal. Surely he can figure out I'm in his mouth. The final test approached as he drove into a driveway though. His boyfriend greets him and he locks the car and proceeds inside.

Enjoy in the drive I finally get the embrace of my boyfriend and we head inside. "So what is this gift you have for me babe? I already have this piercing." He looks over at the table and I soon proceed to as well. It is another tongue piercing. But it is a special one. The exact one I lost the first tike I met him. "Took me a while but I figure out where it was. Someone turned it in a bit ago after finding out it wasn't worth much of anything. I cleaned and disinfected it for you. So now that old one you are wearing now can just be tossed out. Cause this one is more important than any." For a second his smile seemed to be hiding something sinister it seemed but I brushed it off. "Babe… I'll put it in right now!" "NO DON'T! I meannn… Um lets still break that one in while you can. I'm sure you won't take this one out for a while. So lets start getting dirty. Starting with this." He soon proceeds to undress, my predator instincts kick in and I tackle him and start our session of intercourse.

I didn't like any of this. Was I going to be thrown away? Disposed cause of a new old sentimental relic? But most importantly, what is cyrus doing. I don't have a lot of time to think before my father starts to tongue at Cryus' asshole getting in and feeling all around. I can still somehow smell and I can only describe it as revolting. The smell was so bad and the experience only got worse. "Get ready big boy, someone is gonna get some rod suction." Then my dad proceeded to give Cyrus a lot and agonizing blowjob that lasted for longer than thirty minutes. It was so painful. His hot and throbbing shaft kept rubbing into my bulbs as he kept on pumping my dad's face over and over again until finally. *Release* "Be a good boy. Take all of daddy's seed. Swallow it all. Not one drop left." My dad did just that. He swallowed every single bit of Cyrus' semen. Afterwards they cooled down but stay naked. "You wanna try the old piercing on babe? See if it fits?" "I'd love to. You want to hold this one?" "Dad. Dad no. Dad don't take me out! No please don't! Dad!" The plees go unheard as I'm undone and placed into Cyrus' hand. "You mind if I wear it from now on? My old one just broke and I could use a good and new one. I would really like it if I could use this one." Say no. Please dad say- "Sure! As long as you take good care of it I don't mind. Its not like I'll need it back anything soon. So just have it." No… Please… "Good! I'll put it in right now!" Cyrus takes me undone into his mouth and secures me into his tongue as he sticks it out. "Like it? It feels so good." "You know I do. If James was here he would have a hoot. He is in love with piercings and he would want that one so badly." "Don't worry Malcom I'm sure he knows it very well. Don't worry." The smile I see him produce chills my very core. "Hahaha. Yeah he probably already has it. Well I'll be heading to the airport. I'll text you when I'm home. You get some sleep ok?" "I will. I'll enjoy this gift from you. Something tells me it will be just perfect. And I have a feeling it won't ever break." What…

After exchanging the piercings I kiss Cyrus goodbye and head to my car and start driving away. Still nothing from James. I'll have a talk with him when I get home. Until then its me time.

I see my dad's car leave from the view of cyrus' mouth. His next words chill me even more. "Your dad sure is hot isn't he right?" Did he just talk to me? "If you are wondering, yes. I was the one who did this to you. I'm what they call, a channelist. I have the ability to change anyone I seem unworthy into objects for as long as I need. Now you have a choice. Well two." I don't pay attention to him as I'm processing all that has just been said. If I cry I would. But I can't seem to feel anything other than Chris' hot and humid breath passing by me. "I can tell you aren't listening. I give up on trying to help you. I will make you become so close that you wont ever be able to get away from your father." He proceeded to call and ask my dad back over so he can give him one final gift and do it one more time. The answer my dad gives us clear. "Yes."

I had dumbly forgotten my flight was tomorrow and was about to just wait the night out alone when Cyrus called. He invited me back and I immediately accepted. I rushed back to his house and opened the door. I saw him sitting in a spinning chair as he spun to face me and I saw him holding a small crystal human figure. "What's that babe?" "I thought we could have a final go at our experiment from long ago. Remember your cock vore days? Well I had been saving this little guy for such a day. So what would you think about sending this little dude down yous shaft to be trapped inside your sentence tank forever?" "Oh hell yes."

The motions were going so fast. I couldn't believe what was happening. My dad walked into the room and the conversation was going good until they noticed me. Then cyrus said they should put me inside his cock. The closer my dad got the more terrified I became. Slowly he undid his belt them his shorts and finally lost the underwear. He went and grabbed me and held me in front of his face. "I feel bad for you little guy. Only now getting to see a real man. But don't worry, I'll keep you with me all the time till I die. You'll be a good company for my semen. Just you wait. I cant wait for this pleasure to come, so I am gladly going to enjoy using you." His words didn't show a sign of concern. Cyrus was giggling as he later back and watched. My dad stuck me in his mouth and slowly coated me in saliva before spitting me out and grasping his erect and lethally large cock. "Down the hatch fucker." He showed no sign of compassion. He was a harsh and cruel ruler as he lowered me into his slit and I cried out to no avail. He slowly worked me down as he kept me traveling closer and closer to the end before. *plop* I fall into his sentence chamber and I hear his moans loudly. "Best gift ever babe."

Cyrus never told my dad about me. And after he got home he never found me. I was declared missing and search parties started and ended. Days turned to weeks which turned to months then years. My dad and Cyrus got married and all the time I never despise inside his semen, I was there since that day and I was part of everything. From the beginning I never should have been ungrateful. Cause I would still be a son instead of a cock toy. But there isn't a way to save myself now. This is my life now. As my dad's work trip toy.

-[END]-

🍞🥐🥖🍞🥐🥖🍞🥐🥖🍞🥐🥖🍞🥐🥖🍞🥐🥖🍞

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imaginefan · 3 years

Text

Bond Like This *Part 2*

Kai Parker X Reader

Word Count: 1314

Requested: Anon

Plz part 2 of bond like this with Kai. Reader is sired to Kai. (I didn't request this the first one) but I really like how you wrote it and would like to know what happens next when you have time to make one.

*Part 1*

Since finding out about the bond that you shared it was rare that you were ever alone, Kai made sure that there was no way that you could be taken from him, you were the only person in his life that had loved him unconditionally who did what he asked without question and there was no way that he was ever going to let anything happen to you.

Unfortunately for the both of you, there was still a very real threat and that happened to be the rest of the coven they were very much still trying to find a way to kill Kai and you were looking like a good way to get to him. Liv and Luke had you both for weeks and while they were starting to think that their brother might not be as dangerous now their father still thought otherwise and decided that it was time that he made a move.

You had been working the later shift with Liv, Kai was supposed to be on his way to pick you up and it wasn't unusual that he would show up at the last minute when he knew that there was someone else around to make sure that you were safe and he considered Liv that person, unfortunately for the both of you she was no match for her father when he walked into the bar and she had tried to convince him to leave you be but in the end, nothing dissuaded him and you were left with a broken neck as he carried you out and drove you back to his house in Portland.

Kai walked into The Grill and he knew that something was wrong and it was only confirmed when he saw Liv on the floor he walked over shaking her awake "Liv! Liv what happened?" He asked. "Mmm." Liv hummed as she opened her eyes "I... Dad, he was here, he took her, I tried to get him to leave her alone but he's stronger than I am." "Where did he take her?" Kai asked. "I don't know, he probably went back to Portland the rest of the Coven is there," Liv answered and he nodded before helping her up. "Come on." He helped her out of The Grill and got her in his car before driving to Jo's place. When he knocked on the door Alaric was the one to answer. "Where's my sister?" "What do you want Kai?" Alaric asked. "I really don't have time for the usual back and forth. Where is Jo?" Kai asked again. "Alaric please we need to talk to her," Liv spoke up and he noticed her for the first time in a long time. "What happened to your head?" Alaric asked as he pulled her closer looking over the cut and the bruise forming around it. "Dad was here, he took (Y/N) we have to find them," Liv answered. "Come in." Alaric stepped to the side allowing the two into the apartment before Jo appeared with Alaric. "When did he take her?" Jo asked. "A couple of hours ago," Liv answered. "And he hasn't left a message or a note or anything?" Jo asked, she noticed the way that Liv shifted more towards Jo and Alaric now. "What?" "Dad had me and Luke watching them for a while, I thought that he just wanted to make sure that Kai didn't hurt her but then he mentioned using her to get to Kai and that was when we stopped giving him information, I could see how happy they were (she turned to Kai) and you hadn't bothered any of us since getting with her I figured there was no harm in just leaving you alone," Live explained. "Well, it seems the old man didn't feel the same way, so we need to find her before he kills her," Kai ordered, he was about to say something else but he was cut off by the sound of his phone ringing. "(Y/N)!?" He asked after seeing the caller ID. "Did you really think that it was her?" His father asked. "Where is she?" He asked. "You remember our old house?" He asked. "That's where you'll find her." "Why would you tell me that?" He asked but his Dad had already hung up. "He told you where she was?" Jo asked. "Mm." Kai hummed. "It's a trap." She said. "I know but I have to go and get her." He answered

Despite everything it still took Kai over 24 hours to get to Portland and find the old house that his father was talking about after getting rid of the illusion spell he opened the door and there you were in the middle of the hall tied to a chair and burned by vervain, you needed blood there were blood bags in the car, he just needed to get you back there, he walked over to the chair and quickly untied you hissing at the burn to his fingers "(Y/N) baby.." He called out to you softly shaking you as he pulled you closer. "Kai?" You asked. "Hey, I'm gonna get you out of here okay, we're gonna go home." He said as he turned to the door but stopped when he saw that his Dad was standing there. "You won't be going anywhere." He said as he lifted his hand "Incendia." The house went up in flames "I figured it was time to let go of the past and destroy this house along with you and your memory." "I'll kill you." Kai threatened as he walked towards him but there was a barrier spell stopping him from getting out but you and him were trapped in the house. "Good luck. Oh and don't try Syphoning it, I knew you would try so I put in some precautions for that." He smirked before walking away, Kai pulled you closer as he racked his brain for a way to get you both out of there, even with all the power of a Heretic he needed someone on the other side of the barrier to dismantle it, in his distress he didn't even see his siblings at the door of the house in front of him. "Kai!" Jo called as she tried to get him to focus. "Kai, Focus! The only way that you are going to get her out is if you focus, we need your help to destroy the barrier." "Right," He nodded as he repositioned you so that he could put his hand against the barrier muttering an incantation to himself, Jo instructing Liv and Luke on the other side and before long Kai was falling through the doorway and out of the burning house, he caught himself quickly so that he didn't end up falling on you. He walked over to the sitting in the back seat grabbing one of the blood bags but instead of giving it to you straight away he bit into his own wrist and put it to your lips whispering reassurance until you were strong enough to hold the blood bag to your mouth. "I knew that you would save me." You mumbled after a moment and his grip on you tightened. "You did?" He asked. "I'll always believe in you." You answered turning your body so that you were curled into him. "We should get going, Alaric can drive if you want to get some rest and make sure that she's okay," Jo suggested and Kai nodded. "Thank you." He said softly. "For everything." "You're proving that you can be worth it," Jo said before gesturing for him to move so that she could close the door before going over to Alaric and explaining everything, you all left pretty quickly after that in the hopes that they could find a way to hide you and Kai from their father.

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Leverage Season 2, Episode 10, The Runway Job, Audio Commentary Transcript

[Silence]

John: Marc?

Marc: Hi, I'm Marc Roskin, Producer and Director of this episode.

John: I'm John Rogers, Executive Producer, and the one with the Guinness, so you have no excuse for missing that cue.

Albert: And I'm Albert Kim, I'm the writer of the Runway Job.

John: Here we go. And this is a great opening sequence, what- is this a set Marc Roskin? How did you create this incredible look?

Marc: This is the largest girls school uniform factory on the west coast, and they-

John: So this is some sort of internet connection where you order school uniforms or-?

Marc: It was very hot. No, this was-

Albert: Strangely Marc knows a lot about girls’ school uniforms. I don’t know why, but-

Marc: Yes, this was an actual working factory. A lot of the background workers are some of the factory employees who knew how to operate the machines. It was right across the river, really close, and they opened their doors to us just like everybody did in Portland.

John: I love the fact that we wanted to do a fake sweatshop, so when we shot in there, when they saw the hours they shot the workers in the fake sweatshop, we're like, ‘These hours are horrible. How can you people work under these conditions?’ And Albert, since we’ve just seen someone collapse with these- this great shop, which, actually, I believe was the pitch. How did you come up with the idea for the episode?

Albert: Well as you know, I'm quite the fashion icon in the office, so it was quite natural for me.

[Laughter]

John: Yes.

Albert: No, I knew that I wanted to set an episode in the fashion world because it seemed like a fun environment to get into, and lots of great visuals and scenes with models and fashion designers and runway shows. So I knew the area was there, and then so the trick was coming up with a sympathetic victim, and then, as always, a credible villain and threat. So I did a little research and finding the victim wasn't too tough, because the real- in the real world, the fashion industry has sort of been dogged by allegations of sweatshop abuse for a while, so having the sweatshop victim came fairly easy. Finding the threat required a little more research, but as I dug into it, I found that it was actually a real world connection between sweatshops and global clothing counterfeiting, which is controlled by the Chinese Triads.

John: It's interesting because a lot of people talk about intellectual rights and stuff in new international treaties and people immediately think of movies, television, digital rights. A lot of it also involved intellectual rights on clothing.

Albert: Yes. Clothing counterfeiting actually counts for more of the income of these Triads than illegal narcotics trade. So it’s a huge billion dollar business for them and right then, sort of, the pieces fell into place for the elements of the episode.

John: And now these actresses are, Marc?

Marc: That is- um-

Albert: Jen.

Marc: Cathy Vu.

Albert: Cathy Vu and Jen Hong.

Marc: On our left and Jen Hong, and they were great though local Portland actresses. And they knew how to speak some Mandariarin and it worked out great. This was actually, in the shooting order, Jeri Ryan's first episode working with us.

John: Yeah, it's really interesting because, you know, the crew- the cast was genuinely kind of freaked out by Gina not being on set, and so a lot of the weird vibe you get on this episode is from ‘there's a new person’ and of course Jeri became great friends with everyone and really fit in, but it was a really interesting vibe the first couple days on set. It really felt like, yes, Jeri’s a new person here; we don't quite know how to handle it.

Marc: But we had to play it like she was already part of the team because we shot these out of order.

John: It does help that really you don't make her part of the team until the end of the previous episode.

Marc: Right.

John: This is almost a cold relaunch.

Albert: And we played that in the episode, too, so you sort of everyone's tentativeness around her worked well for the dynamics within- the character dynamics within the story as well.

John: And this is, again, this wass also a scene we added just to- It was interesting, we really wanted to make sure that everyone understood that Sophie- Because originally there was going to be a giant gap between episodes, we wanted to make sure everyone understood Sophie signs off on this. You know, audiences were very attached to Gina Bellman - rightfully so - and we did not want them to think we were shuffling her off and bringing in a new actor. We listen to you. Not a lot, not really.

[Laughter]

John: But we do listen to the bigger screams. Also love the callback there that Hardison screwed up in the Ice Man and that's what motivated this entire- this entire replacement.

Marc: We always like to bring up Hardison's screw ups; blowing up offices and whatnot.

John: Blowing up offices. But it's interesting that this is one of those trios where you just kind of park the camera and, you know, they have the dialogue, just let them run; let them do 4 or 5 versions, get the hell out of their way.

Albert: And this scene is really our version of: the kids are wondering where mommy went. You know, so it's like they are a little uncomfortable, it's a new family dynamic, so they're on the phone with her.

John: Yeah.

Marc: Right. But of course, they don't want dad to know that they are speaking to mom.

Albert: Yeah.

John: Yeah, and that's a- that actually started in Ice Man, where they are calling and not telling Nate. And we continued it all the way through where they just don't feel comfortable letting Nate know. And that was a nice little moment with Beth, you know, just ‘I miss you’. It's not often we crack the shell on Parker, that's part of the advancement of the character, to show that she's comfortable in the family, even if she’s not comfortable with other humans. And these two actors the- not those actors, that's stock photography- but the two actors playing the bad guys are?

Marc: Grace and what's her last name?

Albert: Grace Hsu and Tom Choi.

Marc: Grace was a Portland local, she was fabulous; and Tom came from Los Angeles. They did a really great job.

John: The con here is kind of convoluted. It's interesting, just watching this, is the idea that we really had to come into the fashion show from- the fashion industry is one of those industries where if you're inside it, you know everything. We had to constantly figure out, what does the audience need to know in order to understand what we're doing without overexplaining it?

Albert: Right. Again, this is a case where research helped. I mean, to actually looking into what happens during fashions shows. It's based on a real life event, Fashion Week, which normally takes place in New York though there are regional ones all around the country where there are big showcases for new designers as well as opportunities for the stylish designers to bring out their new lines and things like that. So we knew we had an event that was tied to a specific time which helped; it gave us a very limited time frame. And then, again, researching into how the Triads operate and what their connection is to the clothing industry. All of that just helped flesh out the con.

John: I love the Parker giving her instructions on how to be photographed, you know Sophie gave her instructions three weeks ago for some other con. And this was kind of fun, creating the idea for how do you create- in modern media, how do you create the illusion of an actual human existing for some period of time, object permanence to a great degree?

Albert: Right.

John: So you figured out how to- you know, my wife watches a lot of fashion TV and it was kind of backing up: how do I actually know who the hell any of these people are? And it was because of the fashion shows and magazines. Cover both of those and you're done. And DVRs have certainly been a boon. And also this, printing off one magazine it's actually easier than we made it look.

Albert: Yeah.

Marc: Oh yeah.

John: There's actually a service that prints off short runs of magazines that you can use if you're say doing a trade show or running a con.

Albert: This was all done on location. Beautiful house. This beautiful house in- was it in Clackamas?

Marc: Yeah, just outside of Clackamas.

Albert: It was great. It was a huge mansion that worked perfectly, and we ended up recreating the mansion later when we blow it up.

John: Also that what they're doing there, where they are looping, that's exactly what it looks like at Electric Entertainment - it’s basically just a laptop and a mic in the kitchen and that's how we finish up these episodes. No, but it was fun to be able to say, ‘Oh well, put the words on her mouth when we’re on her back, just like we do with actors.’

Marc: Right.

John: Presently, Tim Hutton delivers no more than 50% of the dialogue you hear per episode. We put the rest in his mouth later with a cunning Tim Hutton imitator. Yeah, this is to close off the sale that she's locked in.

Marc: Yeah, just to continue the sale.

John: Now Marc, you directed a bunch of episodes by this point, coming into this, right?

Marc: Yes.

John: And what was it like having a new human on the staff?

Marc: It was interesting. We- it brought a new life to it, and was interesting to see how everybody worked together. And she was just trying to get a feel for everybody and, you know, she was really easy going and said, ‘Listen, if you want a different performance, please, I'm here to help you guys.’

John: ‘Who likes to do this style? Who likes to do that style? Is that head writer really drinking that much in the middle of the day?’ Basic questions.

Marc: What is that smell coming from his trailer?

John: It's shame. It's the smell of shame. This scene was actually not in the original shoot, right? We wound up- this is one of the scenes that was: how much do we explain to the audience? Do they explain what Fashion Week is or isn't? And when we kinda looked at the first cut, it was like, you know what? I know because I watch it on Saturday morning on fashion TV, but we gotta make sure we establish the rules.

Albert: Right. Just a little more explanation as to how the fashion world works and where the con is going; just another step in the process.

John: And an excuse to get Aldis in orange.

Marc: Exactly and have Aldis in orange and Eliot in mascara.

John: That's eye makeup, that's not mascara.

Marc: Sorry.

John: Don’t. Please. Please, I don't want that phone call again, don't make that mistake.

[Laughter]

Albert: What's great about that factory, even this part of this set was also in that factory.

Marc: This was just another portion of it.

John: Wait, so all the dresses and stuff, did we bring those in or those were-?

Marc: Yeah, we just put up the bolts of fabric and some employees.

Albert: We spent a lot of time in that sweatshop.

John: Yeah. As one does.

Marc: As one does.

John: I love, by the way, in this episode, just watching what Kane is doing behind her during this scene. I'm- he's making a lot of interesting choices for Eliot there. Especially with the card snap coming up. And this was a lot of fun, too; this was a lot of the fun of the show is learning all the rules and idiosyncrasies of each industry.

Albert: Sure, that's part of the formula is figuring out what's the interesting world you can look into and then diving into and explaining to the audience how these worlds work.

Marc: Well it's funny, cause she needs to explain it to her teammates on the show.

John: And the card! I love the card delivery.

Marc: And the card the bam, yeah, you get to explain it to the teammates and explain it to the audience as well.

John: We’re really replicating what we’re doing in the room. Which is, one person knows the field pretty well and they explain- I remember when we did Iceman and we were talking about getting the serial numbers off the diamonds and Chris Downey was like, ‘I'm not following’ and I went, ‘It's like getting VIN numbers off a car’. ‘Oh, ok perfect!’ And that wound up in the script. Also this was fun having somebody who didn't know how the earbuds worked; it kinda reset the rules for the audience. And some beautiful- how did we get all this beautiful Boston stock footage?

Marc: Some we bought, some we shot.

John: You actually went out and shot a lot.

Marc: I did. Myself and Dave Connell spent a couple days running around the great city of Boston.

John: Now this is your directing debut, isn’t it Albert?

Albert: It wasn’t my debut, but it was probably the longest sequence I've done.

John: And it's just naked backs.

Albert: It was just tedious, grueling labor to just have to order these models around to take off their clothes and take off their shoes. No, it was great, it was. We already had the set, we finished the big scenes in the set, so Marc let me take a few people out and just get as much fun behind the scenes stuff you can, so that’s kind of where we ended up.

Marc: You and Norbert, right?

Albert: Yeah, Norbert. That was one of his first days there.

John: I love the hair. Whose idea was the Swiss Miss hair?

Albert: Well the other thing about this episode was hair, makeup, wardrobe, obviously had a field day with it. They were really excited about being able to put their best foot forward on a lot of this stuff, so they were able to-

Marc: Yeah, they really had a good time.

John: I also love the fact that Hardison is basically using CIA technique of human intel signals and analysis on the PA’s on a fashion show to figure out who’s in charge without actually figuring it out. It's a lot of fun, and our friend Apollo Robbins helped us out with the envelope slip, and it helps that Beth is very good-

Marc: This girl is great; she was a lot of fun, this girl, Caitlyn, Caitlyn Larimore. We- she read for us a few times on other things; we just knew there was gonna be something for her eventually.

John: So really, if you're looking to act, you should get out of whatever little LA or New York, whatever little hick town you're in and move to Portland because that's where you're gonna get some work.

Marc: Move to Portland; that's where it's gonna happen.

John: This actually hacking into the printer is something we've done before. A favorite trick of Apollo is to print stuff out in your office when you don't realize something is about to happen. And then the slide-

Marc: That wonderful calligraphy on those envelopes was my mother in-law’s.

John: Really? That's great.

Marc: Yes, Louise.

John: We didn’t pay her did we?

Marc: Oh god no.

John: Alright, just making sure. We are a cable show.

Albert: But she ends up featured as a featured extra in the episode, too. She's in the fashion show; you'll see her later staring down Parker.

John: Mother-in-law? You got your mother-in-law on tv?

Marc: That's right.

John: Wow, you're the best son-in-law ever. This actress- actually nice shot. We wound up repeating that character later. I remember we were kinda restructuring; we were like, ‘Oh, we can just use her again, that’s fine.’

Albert: I remember watching her read, and she was great at it, so we decided to, rather than use a separate character for a scene later on, just, you know, bring her back. And she wound up doing that scene later when they approach the security people.

John: Just some love for the extra, ‘Hey, how are you doing?’ A little something from Eliot just for you.

Marc: Just a little.

Albert: Well he had to know that if you're gonna do a fashion episode, one with lots of models, that Eliot was gonna be right in the thick of things there.

John: Yeah. And the overheard- How did you stage this? The overheard conversation is a staple of the show and the bane of all directors everywhere.

Marc: Yeah, we didn't have a lot of time on this day, but we figured out a way; just keep her in the background, eventually a couple close ups of her ears perk, and soon they'll drag her in deeper.

John: Now each one of them is doing a specific person. I can't remember, he's doing-

Marc: Lagerfeld.

John: He's doing Lagerfeld. She’s doing Donatella Versace. I can't remember the British guy that Hardison is locked in on, cause I remember Aldis actually had pictures of him. I’m trying to remember...

Albert: André Leon Talley from Vogue, who is the legendary creative director of Vogue. And he's sort of channeling him. But yeah, again, during the course of research-

Marc: I got my ladder shot in there, by the way. I'm just two for two on-

John: On having ladders in your-

Marc: Yeah.

John: That's good; that's excellent.

Albert: This whole set was built; this was the whole fashion show.

John: We actually built this in the museum that we shot the finale for 207 in, right?

Marc: No, this was just an empty warehouse.

John: Did we have permission?

Marc: Yes we did.

John: Good. Cause sometimes we don't; sometimes we just build stuff and then get the hell out before the cops show.

Marc: Yes, we used a lot of fabric to hide things.

Albert: But the beauty of it is, if you go to real fashion shows, it's kind of what it is. The highlight of fashions shows are supposed to be the clothes, so they keep the surroundings very minimal, and that's- that's always the idea of a fashion show. So luckily for us, it's fairly easy to recreate realistically as a set.

Marc: A lot of times it's just a wedding tent and a runway and chairs.

Albert: Well anyone who's watched Project Runway can see what it's like. It’s just a runway and some folding chairs.

John: I thought we built- that's interesting. Where did we go back to the museum for? I can't remember; it's gonna drive me crazy. Whose idea was the buckles?

Albert: Buckles was something I came up with in the script when I was trying to figure out how to explain what a poor designer Gloria is.

John: What's the one thing nobody likes a lot of?

Marc: Buckles.

Albert: So it became a little joke that someone that- someone, I think it was Chris actually pitched the joke about ‘pilgrim chic’ which we put in there, and found out later that that's actually kind of a real thing. If you make up any kind of joke in the fashion world you'll find out eventually that it's a real thing somewhere.

John: Yes.

Marc: This was actually the workers rec room, which was pretty much an open area room and-

John: You're kind of ruining the whole sweatshop vibe with, like, ‘They had a rec room.’

Marc: Yeah, they had a rec room and basically we've pretty much four walled it.

John: Yup.

Marc: And, you know, put in-

John: Which means?

Marc: To put up a wall to close it off.

John: So this is a bigger space behind him.

Marc: Yeah, it's actually pretty much the same size, but it's just a platform where they had their lunch table set up. But we liked the ability to have shots like that where we can look down onto the floor, it was always-

John: And then shoot back up.

Marc: It was always something that I know that you guys mention, that we wanna have more connection with our victims. So we placed that shot-

John: It is tricky, particularly when we’re doing complicated ones, you can lose track of that vic that's in the opening, and we really tried this year to tie it back a little bit more.

Albert: Yeah, it was interesting. I had a conversation with another writer just the other day about - who works on a crime procedural - and they have the same issue about how to connect with their victims. It's much harder for them because usually their victims are dead. So they show up in the beginning dead, and they can wrap things up with the relative of the victim at the end. If you notice, what a lot of crime shows do is they have flashbacks, so then you get to learn the personality of the victims through the flashbacks.

John: Oh, interesting.

Albert: So we don't do that, but our victims are alive so there are opportunities, like in this scene, to reconnect with the people who we’re working for and establish what our emotional stakes are.

John: And this is also one of the places where we sort of set up- and if you watch what we did with Jeri’s character, and sort of the difference between Sophie and Tara Cole. Tara Cole is a short grifter. Sophie is never gonna push it, she's never gonna try to get the big payout. And Tara’s job is to get in and get out with as much money as possible, so this is one of the times where we really sort of set up how she needs to adjust. Though when you look at the back half, we don't really change it that much. The team doesn't really change, it's- she kind of adjusts herself to fit in the team a bit more. They wind up using her short term push just as a different sort of batter.

Albert: Whereas personality-wise, there's something you told me I remember which helped make everything click which was - Tara is really kind of a guy’s girl. You know, she's the kind of girl who sits around and watches football with the guys on Sundays. Sophie is very much a girl's girl; she's out there doing the shopping and fashion and all that stuff. So that kind of distinguishes the two characters. Although they fulfill the same role within the team, they're very distinctive in terms of their personality.

John: But that's also from when we originally created the show. A lot of these characters have slightly different personalities, and the actors brought other personalities, and we realized as long as that job was fulfilled in the team, you can range pretty widely within there. How did you shoot- where the hell is she?

Albert: She's supposed to be-

Marc: Tashkent, right?

Albert: Tashkent. So-

John: Uzbekistan?

Albert: Yes.

John: Oh right there you go. Of course. ‘Cause Tashkent is in Uzbekistan. Who doesn't know that?

Albert: Right.

Marc: And yes, so we shot Gina on a much later date, during a later episode, and just one green screen and some stock footage behind a little wind machine and there you are.

Albert: And camels.

Marc: And some camels, yes.

John: As one has in Tashkent.

Marc: In Portland.

John: Oh no, we went to the Portland zoo see, I was hoping you'd give them the whole speech about sand, and yeah. That's a little bit of jealousy, a little bit of- and that was another thing, too, to make sure that Sophie wasn't just a character that you checked in with once a week. She had to have her own little arc that whenever you went to her she had a distinct attitude about the team. Yes and the reindeer gag, which I really foolishly insisted on keeping in the script because it was my favorite bit.

Albert: It was brilliant; it was great; it was all John.

John: That's mine. Whenever you see a joke that doesn't quite work and seems kind of doomed but we keep, that's usually me diggin in at the table, particularly if it's absurdist. Now did we put banners up or is that digital?

Marc: Digital. Those were digital banners on the building. Do our little whip pans to Eliot and whip back.

John: Just to establish, yes, he's with a model. Where do you think he was gonna be? And he’s out.

Marc: And he's angry he has to leave the model.

John: The- and again, it was interesting to, sort of, know that we had to plot out these arcs on the back six, and figuring out exactly, like, how do we show trust and acceptance? And, you know, you can do it in dialogue, but you don't want people talking about their intentions. And the ear bud became kind of an interesting metaphor; it goes in and out of use over the back six and even with Eliot we wound up using it.

Marc: Yeah, it's like the chief asking for your gun and badge.

John: Yeah, exactly. And it also solved the problem later when you know it’s- she shouldn't have heard X.

Albert: Right.

John: And that's a big problem on the show is in theory, if they can all hear each other’s conversations... Whereas a lot of cop shows, a big chunk of the time is, ‘What did you find out from witness x, Billy?’ What did you find out about witness y? Alright now let's put it together.’ They know. Now how did we do this blow?

Marc: Now that wass digital smoke, and that is a model.

Albert: Green screen model.

Marc: Yeah, we modeled the windows and actually shot it in our parking lot right here in Highland, in Santa Monica Boulevard.

John: Now we built- we do builds on the- building’s blowing up is better with models. The cars we've found we can do just digitally, but the buildings really look great with the model.

Marc: But we still use the model for the car as well. We just don't have the time or the money to do full explosions, you know, we do just a little aftermath with some debris and smoke.

Albert: Especially when it's someone's real house.

Marc: Yes.

Albert: Don't want to-

John: Generally they kind of frown on that, of just blow out the windows.

Albert: Because last year we did, Marc and I worked on another episode where we blow up a warehouse. And it was an abandoned warehouse, so you blow out the windows and break the glass, so it's not such a big deal.

Marc: Yeah, we did a little damage to the Prison Break set on that. What they shot was-

John: I remember, because I pulled up the day you were shooting that, I was like ‘I hope I haven't missed the blow.’ I was a quarter mile away and my windshield shook and I'm like OK, that was a little bigger than we anticipated’.

Albert: But this was a house with six kids was it?

Marc: Six kids, yeah.

Albert: So it was-

John: So blowing it up wouldn't have changed it all that much.

Albert: Probably not. Actually that family was incredibly neat.

John: And this is a lot of fun. And again, this is where, if you pay attention, we never tell you Tara’s backstory; if you pay attention all six episodes, you can figure out exactly what Tara used to do before she became a con woman. The information she knows, the way she puts stuff together, you’ll figure it out. Also the yelling. This was a lot of fun, because Eliot would be annoyed in this situation, and Chris Kane is never funnier than when Eliot is incredibly annoyed.

Marc: That’s right, and it's usually with Hardison.

John: Yeah. Thank you, I don't know how you make this show without phone cameras I really- we couldn't have made this show in 1978 this would've been a lot harder.

Albert: Or earbuds.

John: Or earbuds. Well earbuds we could've got around, but- no earbuds might have made our life easier, actually.

Albert: This was another thing that came up in research, actually, when I wrote a book about the Chinese Triads, and it is actually true that they're signature weapon is a meat cleaver. We looked at a few pictures of them, they're pretty impressive; they are really big and they have engravings on them, stuff like that. I've also looked at way too many pictures of victims of the Triads.

Marc: Yeah, missing fingers, and hands, and arms.

Albert: But that, again, it just added another fun element, knowing that there was, in reality there was a signature weapon that they use, and gave Eliot another fight scene.

John: Of course they'd be fancy meat cleavers, you're not gonna just pick a meat cleaver at Tesco or the kitchen section of Best Buy; you're gonna get one specially made. This was a lot of fun, too, something we haven't done in a while, which was watching Eliot figure out his fight space. You know, control access doing the math in this head. You know, it's always a little easier if no ones around him, just so he can tear people around a little easier. Fun stunt. Jerri did this, right?

Marc: Yeah, she was really nervous about doing her first fight with us, but she was a trooper; she did a great job.

John: She actually killed that guy. I feel a little bad about that, that's the first time we've admitted that, but you know. This was one of my favorite fights, cause we don't do a lot of weapon fights.

Marc: Yeah.

John: And it really reads well; the cleavers read real. Also we do a nice fight style with Chris here.

Albert: We did use cleavers back in the first season with the Wedding Job.

John: Oh that's right, we had the kitchen thing.

Albert: A kitchen thing. But it was a different kind of fight; it was a one on one in an enclosed space. This was an open space with multiple attackers ,and again, different props to use. So like, you saw the mannequin dummy there, and the rolling carts, and things like that, and so it ended up being a really fun scene.

John: And again, thank god for the surveillance culture - the fact that there are so many traffic cameras. Although you may bitch about privacy, it really helps us.

Marc: It really, really helps us.

John: This was interesting. This- I forget how this came up, I think the fact he had two IDs, but they had only checked one. I had a friend who was a Mountie- and remember, we were talking about my buddy who had done undercover up in Canada, and gh said the problem was, the guys got the fake, ran up records on fake Canadian IDs and you never knew the original crimes. Yeah. ‘Hey, how does Tara Cole know how to handle a meat cleaver?’ You’ll find-

Marc: Yup.

John: There you go, and that's a nice hit. And the head butt. I love the head butt, I'm sorry, man, that's a great way to end a fight.

Marc: She gets to take part.

John: Also, there's a lot of really nice hair flipping around in that fight scene, I gotta say.

Marc: I love-

John: I don't know whose looks better.

Marc: It's like a [Unintelligible. Sounds like ‘Germat’?] commercial.

[Laughter]

John: And that's, again, one of the problems with having a really uber competent team is, ‘OK they would have run this guy's background. What is the one loophole we could find that Hardison could screw up?’ You know, it's not screw up, it's nobody’s perfect.

Albert: It's just overlooked.

John: That's the trick, it has to always be some sort of fair play thing. Not a mistake, not just a ‘I didn't look in that drawer.’ This is a legitimate loophole.

Albert: Look how great this location is, though. It's everywhere; there's stuff everywhere. We really would not have been able to duplicate this on a set.

Marc: No.

John: What? No?

Marc: Never.

John: I love that he keeps the voice up here. That killed me here the first time I saw the dalies I was like, ‘Is he still doing Lagerfeld’?

Marc: Jack Bouvier.

John: Yeah the fingerless gloves are really the pièce de résistance there. There's a lot of stuff there that could be on anybody, but the fingerless gloves really digs in.

Albert: Again, that's straight out of the Lagerfeld book.

Marc: Tim went for it.

John: Are those glasses actually rose tinted?

Albert: Yes.

John: Yes they are, that's magnificent. And the evil speech of evil: ‘Listen, I'm just a businessman. I have obligations.’ You know, in his head he's keeping many people employed back in China. You know, and he's a copy fighter, he's like those electronic freedom foundation guys who doesn't believe in copyright.

Albert: He's a hero, really.

John: He is a hero.

Albert: Of his own story, but-

John: Exactly, he just happens to interact with our story.

Albert: Exactly.

John: And this is actually a cue, this is a hint to where Nate’s- This winds up being the first episode of the second half of the season. This is kind of a hint of where Nate’s arc is going for the season, where he's getting so addicted to control and not losing and beating the bad guy, he's starting to make poor decisions. And he makes a series of remarkably poor decisions through the back six that really just the competence of the team protects him from.

Albert: He's kind of like those football teams that keep pulling it out in the 4th quarter and just decide that's just what they have to do. So they don’t mind coasting through the rest of the game or even, you know, getting down and behind before then.

John: Yeah it's- it's the mental discipline, and something that Parker says later on in the season which is, ‘Be the Nate Ford that we came back for.’ The mental discipline that made him legendary and which they count on is starting to slip. And it's not because of the booze, it's because of what he's substituting the booze with.

Marc: Right.

John: This is me drinking my Guinness, by the way.

[Laughter]

Albert: It's not your Guinness, it's what you’re substituting for the Guinness.

John: No, no, this is my Guinness; I'm actually drinking.

Albert: Oh ok. It's actually another Guiness that is substituting for his Guinness.

[Laughter]

John: It's, again, a Guinness that's somewhere else that I would like to be drinking. Some bargaining, trying to get them to take Eliot instead of Jeri.

Marc: That wasn't something he planned for.

John: No, no, and it's interesting, and again, this is all trust issues. She kind of volunteered herself for this position, she’s, you know-

Albert: The trick is, part of the whole episode was really the character dynamics. Because it was a new character, because it was a new team member, even though she'd been introduced in the episode beforehand, this is really the first full con they run together as a team. So it was a very tricky thing, and so I had the outlines of what the broad strokes would be, but this is the point when you go to the show runner and you say, ‘John how does this work, exactly?’ And then John takes over.

John: We stare at the ceiling and- that's what the writers room is for. And this is great, we actually wound up paralleling this shot. You created this shot for this episode, Marc; we wound up paralleling this argument in, like, two other episodes. There's actually a similar version of this shot in the first half in the season finale, where it's like, we are now sitting judgment of Nate Ford, and we’re a little distrubed that we’re not feeling very comfortable here. Yeah, and this cutting pattern replicates, and it’s interesting, and it's because we have editors working over certain episodes that make certain choices. And those are I think the names of-

Albert: They were real Electric Entertainment employees.

John: ‘Maybe I want to meet...’ Yes. Hardison is the most hard done by character; he never gets what he wants. And that, again, is one of those things where this episode was shot in 6 ½ days.

Marc: Yes, there's my mother-in-law.

John: There you go; she's a lovely woman.

Marc: A lovely woman.

John: Are you checking the list of actors to pick her name up? That's not good.

Marc: No, gosh no.

John: You know, we had four different ways this scam works. All depending on exactly how this shooting schedule worked out. And I remember I had to sit down with my wife and I was like, ‘Alright’, cause she's big into this, I was like, ‘Exactly what is the timing and choreography on a fashion show?’ And there, the thing with the dresses and they're all transported across town. So it was a good lesson for writers is, the great thing about TV is you're shooting every week; the really great thing about TV that will also drive you crazy is, you learn how to have a bunch of choices. Because sometimes the world decides not cooperate with you, and you can't shut down production for two days and just go- You've worked on big films, you've seen this. Like, ‘You know what? We're just gonna take a day off and find the right location.’

Marc: Yes.

John: No. Not so much.

Albert: The scene coming up with Parker in the gown. This is really, if you think about it and you say that you're gonna do an episode with the Leverage team involved in the fashion world, kind of the promise of the premise is you're gonna get Parker in a fashion show. In a gown, in a fashion show.

John: Right, because she's the one person who would despise it.

Albert: Right, and you kind of have to deliver this scene.

John: This was also shot later, and it was interesting because we don't usually get Parker and Eliot- you know, Parker and Eliot in a two-hander. And if you go back, you can see in the back half of the season when we- especially when we saw how it worked out in The Lost Heir Job, it became kind of a little more standard that we go to this partnership. You also see it pop up in the bottle show, the bar show, what the hell did we call it?

Marc: Bottle Job.

John: We called it The Bottle Job, that's right.

Marc: The problem with doing these two-handers is he can get her to laugh and break.

John: Yeah, Chris can crack Beth up. Him doing the dirty dresses on the floor line, Beth I think broke character maybe ten times because we are in the basement shooting that day.

Marc: And this is the dress that Nadine our costume designer built.

Albert: Yeah.

John: It's a pretty amazing dress.

Marc: A beautiful dress.

John: The thumb drive of intent. Thank you thumb drive, for giving us a short hand so audiences know what we're doing.

Marc: Yes, so she basically- you'll see that all of the Andre V, that's the Andre V character, has a touch of yellow in it.

John: That's right. Nadine created a unified theme for the fashion line - the fake fashion line that we were doing.

Albert: She created an actual line.

Marc: Yeah, so she created a whole line and there's a touch of yellow in everything and as you’ll see when we get to the runway-

John: Where's this dress? We should auction this dress off.

Albert: Nadine probably has it.

Marc: It's actually in my car.

John: Oh no. I wish I didn't know that.

Marc: And then Dave Connell carried it with the lighting design as well.

John: Oh that's great, that is great. It's like we do this for a living.

Marc: Almost.

John: I love that Parker does the most- the little slide across the spot; that's a lot of fun. And now, did you shoot this at night? You had how many days on this set?

Marc: I think we did this-

John: You had the day, which was the warm up and then-

Marc: I think we had this location for two days.

John: That's not bad.

Marc: That's Jeffery Gilbert who played Andre V; he was just great. And I love Parker with the moves.

John: With the big head turn.

Marc: Just for a moment she thinks she got it under control, of course.

John: No, not so much. Walking is hard; walking in those heels is hard.

Albert: Walking in heels is hard.

John: I also love the little improv- it wasn’t in the script, but I remember seeing it in the dalies - she cracks her neck.

Marc: Yes that was definite Parker move. And I know this had to be- the scene coming up had to be a John Rogers line, where it's written that Andre V is banging his head repeatedly against the wall.

[Laughter]

John: Well, yeah, because I do that in the writers room.

Marc: And they said, ‘We gotta move on.’ I said, ‘No, I need to get the guy banging his head.’

John: Trust me, have some sympathy. And this is where we pay off the idea that Tara has heard about this team, and now believes she's given Nate one clue as to what she’s gonna do and she's desperately hoping they're as good as they think they are, and she’s doing the set up to this, she's setting up this beat. It was tricky, because we did actually play- she does actually look like she's selling the team out here, and if you're watching the DVD, you are watching all the way through the seasons. aAnd we did go back and forth on how loyal would she be to the team. And it really is the fact that one of the reasons you watch the show, or at least I think one of the reasons you watch the show, is the family vibe.

Albert: Absolutely.

John: And just having somebody who wasn’t into the family vibe in the middle of it, it might've been interesting from a writing standpoint, and we’re all fans of the show who write the show, it wasn’t interesting from an audience standpoint; it felt a little overly clever, a little constructed. But we do it just enough that we can get she's part of the team, but she doesn't buy into Nate’s bullshit, and as a result her actions in the finale make some sort of organic sense. And the van, oh, the van.

Marc: Gotta have the van.

John: Not anymore.

[Laughter]

Marc: Well-

John: No the- and this, again, we had like four variations how this particular con worked. Who did those designs? Who did-? We have a lot of actual fashion designs floating around in this.

Marc: I think Nadine.

Albert: Nadine and her team did pretty much everything.

John: They sketched them up and sent them off to Derek to do the computer graphics.

Albert: They did the sketches, they did the buckles sketches, they designed the clothes. Like I said, this was a real- this was a field day for the wardrobe and makeup and hair.

Marc: For the glam department.

John: That was nice, too. Cause the thing we originally missed, that having him hand him the badge, it’s a nice touch. Again, the trick when you’re doing- Some of the endings we stop and explain a lot, some just kind of unroll, and you have to make sure you set up all the pieces. And a lot of times when you're running and gunning and shooting, that stuff goes away.

Marc: It does. And so much of it is like, you get to a certain scene like, oh my god, in the flashback you're supposed to see that happens later.

John: Do you break those off separately when you shoot these or-? I mean, I know you, kind of, barely read the script.

Marc: A lot of times they are within the scenes and god bless Suzanne, our script supervisor, she just, she-

John: She's the best. She's actually the best I've ever worked with.

Marc: She's the gatekeeper, yeah, she’s amazing.

John: A Script Supervisor’s job, in case you don't know, if you're watching, is to sit next to the Director with a copy of the script, with special notations that they go to school to learn, to track what is in every shot, what the angles are, what the sizes are, who’s crossing, who’s walking in from what direction.

Marc: She's basically- she's keeping score and she’s the directors best friend, or worst enemy.

John: You will hear a lot of directors, even really experienced directors say-

Marc: As well as an editor, because, you know, an editor just gets a hard drive of footage, and if he can't decipher her notes, then he's gonna struggle as well.

John: I've seen really experienced directors, guys who are famous, they will finish and will turn to their script supervisor and go ‘What do I need?’ Cause they're watching the coverage while the directors watching the-

Marc: And we do a lot of different things and as a director, you're watching performances, and you're making sure you're hitting all the right emotional beats, and you know, when we do certain scenes where we have multiple characters, or you’re doing a 360-

John: We have a five-hander here.

Marc: Yeah, or doing a 360 and the camera’s going around and around, you need someone to be keeping score for you.

John: I like the physicality, by the way, watching this again, of watching Tim does with his face when he’s with the character and when he's just dropped it, and all of a sudden that kind of fake character, the wardrobe doesn't matter if he's just pissed, and you know he's dug in.

Marc: As soon as he's pulled off the glasses-

John: It's Nate.

Marc: It's Nate.

John: Great job.

Marc: And we haven't even had him say that, when Tom, later on, you know, points that out, you're not even who you say you are, he, like, looks at him in a certain way.

John: Yeah. No, nice call. The- oh yes, this was, again, interesting, is one of the things that really depends on the speed with which these guys can rip this stuff off. You know, in one of the original versions we were talking about where the dresses are actually transported- right after the fashion show, the dresses actually are driven across town and are put in a private closed viewing for the buyers. They won’t let anybody else close to those dresses because even with photographs, they can be knocked off within a matter of 48-72 hours. Which is stunning, which is what you're trying to fight when you're trying to fight piracy. And hung by his own sin, which is one of the rules.

Albert: There's always a rule. Yup. Going back to the wardrobe and hair and makeup departments, the other thing you don't end up seeing is that they went through a lot of their own iterations of what- before what you see on the screen. They did a lot of tests, they did a lot of different looks. If we had time, we could probably show all these other test photos they took, and different hair configurations, and make up, and at one point they did this whole sort of Kabuki look, but we decided that might've been a little too fashion forward for this show. They really went all out.

Marc: They went all out.

John: Did you say fashion forward?

Albert: Sure.

Marc: And some of them were just based on the element of time, you know, we wouldn't have time to change actors over to a certain style, and-

John: Yeah, cause I mean, that's the thing, is when the difference between shooting Parker as Parker, and shooting Parker as Parker as fashion model, is two hours to change that character's look.

Albert: At least.

John: At least. And the walk of victory.

Marc: Dun dun dunnn.

John: This is nice, this is- I, you know, I always love the 60s, 70s call back; it's a nice style choice. Also, you've got that great street to shoot down. Where was that? Was that outside of-?

Marc: That was right outside of the actual warehouse location.

Albert: Across the river.

Marc: Just across the river from downtown Portland, so it was really close; you know, had a nice overpass.

John: Looked like that section of T that’s elevated.

Marc: This, again, is supposed to be in Asia, which was actually just another area of the warehouse again.

John: And then that's a kind of an iconic shot for this show now. That's nice, the Jeri Ryan era, as the fans call it. If you go on the boards and see the fans arguing over which six episodes are the best in the giant ouvre of Leverage ouvre. And she pays a horrible horrible price for her treachery.

Albert: Those are real working steam presses, and I can tell you from having been there, they were ridiculously hot.

[Laughter]

Albert: I didn't want to be anywhere near it. I was like, ‘Wow, Gloria is really a trooper going through this.’ She had to learn how to operate it; it had, like, foot petals and things.

John: This is why it's good to be a writer, is, we write horrible things and then the directors and actors go live there, while we occasionally- Sometimes we venture from the hotel room to go visit the set.

Marc: At times.

John: But it's for the best if the writer isn't there; just causes trouble.

Albert: We can go pose and take pictures with the models; that's when we show up on set.

John: Yes. And then this is actually based on, there's a bunch of factories now that are owned by the employees that were taken over. Some car factories, some- there was a big thing in South America for a while of the workers seizing foreclosed factories and opening them up as co-ops.

Marc: I did not know that.

John: Yes, there you go. Anything we can do to undermine the infrastructure of capitalism of America in Leverage we try to, we try to.

Marc: Now this is a happier factory, it's brighter.

John: Brighter colors.

Marc: Yeah, it's brighter colors, there's sound.

[Laughter]

John: I love that. I love you sitting in the director’s chair like, ‘Alright, now make it the happy sweatshop.’

Marc: How else can we make them happy?

John: Lunch breaks.

Marc: Lunch breaks! Sandwiches. Sandwiches make everyone happy. Everybody’s happy with a sandwich.

John: There you go, and milk, that's delicious. Look, and we saw that particular extra was unhappy earlier.

Albert: That's right.

Marc: She was.

John: There you go; really sold it. And again, it's interesting because, you know, you shot two years of this now, and you understand the vics aren't a big part of actual screen time, they are on in the opening, they're on in the closing. Those actors are insanely important, because it means you have to like them really fast, and if you don't like them really fast, you know, it won’t pay off.

Marc: Yeah, and they have to keep up because, you know, it's not like we get a lot of time to do rehearsals, and so some of the crux of the episode can be in their hands.

Albert: Oh yeah, the emotional core of the story always hinges on the victims and their choices.

John: And sometimes those scenes with Tim Hutton in the bar, that's the entire reason you're gonna care about this episode. And this is a lot of fun with- this is when we- again, we really track, if you watch the back six episodes where Tara Cole feels in how she's getting the money. Happy about getting the money, ambivalent about getting the money, not caring so much, you know. She never doesn't care, cause that's just wrong. And now, it's interesting, Tim and I had a nice conversation about this particular phone call, cause he called me about this and he's like, ‘I'm not sure where we're going with this.’ I'm like, ‘You know that moment when you've had an argument with the wife and you've realized you've said the wrong thing and you can never take it back?’ And he's like, ‘Oh yeah.’ and I'm like, ‘That one right there.’ And it's one of my favorite little Nate/Sophie scenes and they're not even in the same room. Because it's, you know, it's- banter is fun, relationships are hard.

Marc: Right.

Albert: Oh I like that. Banter is fun, relationships are hard.

John: And, you know, end of day, unless you show a couple of these scenes every now and then, you don't buy these relationships as real. And that's why I think one of the reasons the Eliot/Nate relationship feels very grounded is, we give opportunity for Chris Kane and Tim to kind of dig in on the fact that they don't always agree, those characters.

Albert: And you gotta give somewhere for the characters to go. That's the thing about a scene like this, at the end it gives them somewhere to go after here.

John: That was great. Thank you so much, guys, that was a lot of fun. The episode was fantastic.

Albert: That was The Runway Job.

Marc: Thank you.

John: Anything you wanna say to the nice folks before we move onto the next one?

Marc: Stay tuned.

[Laughter]

John: It's a DVD, I don't think they’re gonna wander off-

Marc: For the season.

John: Oh for another season, that's right. Season 3. Albert anything you wanna say?

Albert: No this was great, this was, I think, my third episode working with Marc. Third, that I'd written. Kind of fourth.

John: Kind of codependent.

Marc: Yes, yes.

Albert: We are, but I've learned that one thing: banter is fun, but relationships are hard, so we gotta keep working on it.

Marc: That’s right.

#Leverage #Leverage TNT #Leverage Audio Commentary Transcripts #Audio Commentary #Transcripts #Parker #Alec Hardison #Elliot Spencer #Nate Ford #Sophie Deveraux #Season 2 #Episode 10 #Season 2 Episode 10 #The Runway Job

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polyamoryinfandoms · 3 years

Text

Monthly Fic Roundup!

Hey gang! I’m posting the fics that were recommended on our last surveymonkey poll; thanks for everyone who recommended fics. Please note I did not get to read every fic on here and depended on your responses and the AO3 tags to mark for any triggers or story notes, so please read with caution if you’re worried about any content warnings!

If you want to recommend more fics, I’ll be posting another roundup poll later in the day today!

Under the cut are 32 fics from:

Agents of Shield (1)

Bill & Ted (1)

Castlevania (1)

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (1)

DCU (2)

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (4)

Game of Thrones (1)

Harry Potter (1)

Leverage (1)

Mission Impossible (1 -- series)

Sanders Sides (1-- series)

Sense8 (1)

Sherlock (1-- series)

Star Wars (1)

Stranger Things (8)

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (1)

The Untamed/CQL/MDZS (2)

Teen Wolf (2)

White Collar (1)

Agents of Shield:

is it chill that you’re in my head? by lazyfish

Pairing: Lance Hunter/Bobbi Morse/Alphonso Mackenzie

TW/TAGS: PTSD, Referenced Torture

Summary: It doesn't take long for Mack to realize he's in love with Bobbi and Hunter and has been for a while. Other realizations take slightly longer.

Bill and Ted (movie):

Our Home, Our Family, Our Love by CaptainWeasley

Pairing: Bill/Ted/Elizabeth/Joanna

TW/TAGS: slurs, implied/referenced child abuse, internalized homophobia, self harm

Summary: A series of firsts in Ted's life, as he slowly comes to terms with his sexuality and learns how to handle being in love with both his wife and his best friend. When Billie and Thea come out as trans, each in her own way, he does everything he can to help them be who they are.

Castlevania:

Deliverance by cricketsong1985

Pairing: Trevor Belmont/Sypha Belnades/Alucard

TW/Tags: Blood kink, explicit sexual content, gore, trauma, angst

Summary: Adrian is beginning to think that Wallachia will be a smoking pile of ash long before he, Trevor, and Sypha can stop Dracula’s war on humanity. They’ve been chasing the castle for months, but each time they get close, it vanishes. Traveling with such genuine and trustworthy allies has been unexpectedly pleasant; Adrian doesn’t mind that Trevor and Sypha are involved with each other, but he is taken entirely by surprise when they open their relationship to him one evening. Hopelessly in over his head, his heart keeps urging him forward, even when he’s forced to confront the darkest aspects of his nature. Adrian must learn to swallow his pride and let himself be vulnerable if he wants a chance at happiness. Unfortunately, there isn’t much time for looking within when the world is drenched in blood and magic, and the path to victory may destroy him completely.

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina:

We will be judged by the courage of our hearts by MagicClem

Pairing: Harvey Kinkle/Sabrina Spellman/Nicholas Scratch

TW/TAGS: mention of an abusive parent

Summary: It's been a month since the 13 almost destroyed Greendale. Now a full Witch, Sabrina tries to move on, with the help of one Nicholas Scratch.But one night, Harvey arrives at the Spellman's house and everything becomes complicated.

DCU:

not for the faint of heart by pasdecoeur

Pairing: Hal Jordan/Bruce Wayne/Clark Kent

TW/TAGS: Explicit Sexual Content

Summary: Clark opens a door that was meant to stay closed. Things spiral. or, What Not To Do When You’ve Fallen in Love with Batman: A Guide by Hal Jordan & Clark Kent.

All Good Things Come in Threes (Legends of Tomorrow) by IncendiaGlacies

Pairing: Gideon/Rip Hunter/Miranda Coburn

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting

Summary: “Two is a couple, three is a crowd,” Gideon stated. In which Gideon navigates her polyamorous relationship with Rip and Miranda. Domestic slice of life goodness.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off:

Pairing for all of these are Pairing: Cameron/Ferris/Sloane and are written by @fbdo1986

it’s enough to be whiplash

TW: death mention (no character death), drowning

A/N: To put it plainly, I took a few tricks from John Hughes’s earlier scripts of the film, which were more surreal and up-front with discussing death and end of the world scenarios. It was inspired by a concept that I couldn’t seem to shake after I thought of it: what if the pool scene was just a bit more high stakes?

all the things I never told you

Summary: It’s Sloane, Ferris, and Cameron’s first afternoon alone at the Bueller residence in months. The busy twenty-four year olds who’ve struggled to find time together as their lives unfold in front of them try to think of what to do for the day when Cameron decides to let them in on what he’s been keeping from them.

bye bye love

TW: Death mention (none of the main characters)

Summary: A hopefully angsty number that details Sloane’s, Cameron’s, and Ferris’s journey through heartbreak and loss after their Sophomore year in college. The title is named after a song by The Cars by the same name!

firestarter

Prompt #5: Where it doesn’t hurt with the OT3

Game of Thrones:

Constellatory by blueandbulae

Pairing: Theon Greyjoy/Sansa Stark/Margaery Tyrell/Robb Stark (polycule, NO incest)

TW: Some canon typical violence

Summary: It’s strange and messy and maybe nobody else will ever understand them but it works. It’s theirs, and theirs alone, and nobody can take that from them.Or: Robb and Theon storm King's Landing, rescue the princesses, and save the kingdom. Then comes the hard part.

Harry Potter:

Unconventional by silver_fish

Pairing: Harry Potter/Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger

Summary: A few years, now, have passed since Hedwig’s death, and Hermione thinks it’s time Harry got a new pet. What sort of pet, though, neither she nor Ron know. Not until Harry himself offers her the perfect solution, that is.

Leverage:

for better or worse (we change together) by idkimoutofideas

Pairing: Alec Hardison/Parker/Eliot Spencer

TW/TAGS: Canon typical violence

Summary: The moment Parker saw the stranger standing by the elevator, a dozen alarm bells went off in her head. She froze, and Hardison nearly walked into her as he entered behind her. It took her a moment to realize that while half of the alarm bells were telling her to get the fuck out of there, the other half were telling her to look closer. Or, Eliot Spencer is a recent war veteran who just moved to Portland in an attempt to lead a calmer lifestyle. He ends up with some weird neighbors, but it's Portland, everyone's a little weird.

Mission Impossible:

Polyamorous Spies (series of 2 fics) by MagicClem

Pairing: Benji Dunn/Ethan Hunt/Ilsa Faust

TW/TAGS: Blood & injuries (2nd fic)

Sander’s Sides:

Love and Other Fairytales by SoDoRoses (Fairychess)

Pairing: LAMP/CALM (Logan, Roman, Virgil, Patton)

TW: violence, major character death, no NSFW in the main fic but there is a side series with NSFW, animal death, description of rot, nonconsentual control of another person, 'like death' state of being

Sense8:

Crazy Life by MagicClem

Pairing: Kala Dandekar/Wolfgang Bogdanow/Rajan Rasal

Summary: Rajan would admit that this past few years had been crazy and life seems determined to make it crazier and crazier.Or: This is "Amor Vincit Omnia" from Rajan's perspective.

Sherlock:

Lorem Ipsum by Saathi1013 (series)

Pairing: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson/Sarah Sawyer

TW: Abduction

Star Wars:

so just pull the trigger by Darnaguen

Pairing: Han Solo/Qi'ra/Lando Calrissian

TW/TAGS: Alcohol use

Summary: “Oh, don’t pout Haan.” Lando lounges back, licking his newly berry-tinted lips with a lazy grin. “You know all you have to do is ask.”(Qi’ra’s eyes are glinting and her smile is dagger-sharp. Han knows the look: it’s one she wears whenever she has a winning hand.The dice on the table are mediocre at best. He shakes his head and drinks deep.)

Stranger Things:

All pairings are Steve Harrington/Jonathan Byers/Nancy Wheeler

The Hawkins Three by nonymos

TW: Some canon typical homophobia and slurs

Summary: It's two weeks after the Snow Ball, Nancy's officially with Jonathan, and Steve is trying to move forward. If only he wasn't on a path that keeps circling back to the both of them.

lovers in a dangerous time by diogxnes

TW/TAGS: Briefly: panic attacks/PTSD, parental neglect

Summary: “So,” says Robin, sitting back in her chair, “what’s the deal there, anyway? With the whole you-Nancy-Jonathan thing.”The question makes his mouth run dry. Why would she ask that? Can she tell, possibly, how much he’s been thinking about Nancy these past few days? How starstruck he was when Nancy showed up at his house? Does she know about the mysterious warmth in his stomach when he thinks about Jonathan? “What do you mean, the whole me-Nancy-Jonathan thing?” “Come on, Steve. She’s your ex and he famously beat you up two years ago and now they’re dating each other and all three of you somehow ended up a part of this weird little monster-fighting club together. There’s gotta be a story there.”“I don’t know, Robs,” says Steve, rolling his eyes, relieved beyond measure that that’s all she meant. “You pretty much just covered all of it. There’s not much more to tell.”

Have Happened by cortexikid

TW/TAGS: Homophobia

Summary: "I overheard you. You were talking in your sleep.”Steve's heart fluttered nervously.“It was a little funny at first,” Nancy admitted, her tone a mix of teasing and apologetic, “you were moaning my name and I thought it’d be kinda funny if Mike accidentally overheard you having a sex dream about his sister—”Steve couldn’t control the guffaw that escaped him. “But then you said Jonathan’s name. Right after mine. All in the same breath.”

it’s a risk, it’s a gamble by nondz (pinkjook)

TW/TAGS: NSFW

Summary: “I think we should pretend to date,” Robin says. "What?" Steve answers.

still turning out by scoutshonor

TW/TAGS: Homophobic language

Summary: Steve knows senior year's supposed to be tough, but seriously?Not only does his dad want him to take over his business, but he lands himself into a fight with his best friend leaving him friendless and booted out of his inner-circle, gets stuck watching a bunch of kids after school because of a missing credit, has to repeat eleventh grade history, and, oh yeah. He has the minor issue of having no idea what he actually wants to do with his life.But it's not all that bad: not the kids he has to watch, and certainly not Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers, two friends from his history class. Friends. Just friends. Yeah, he and you both know that's bullshit.Steve's got a lot of figuring out to do.(or: HSAU Stoncy with Steve as a senior, doing his best)

(Following Stoncy fics are by @pterawaters)

Now and For Always

TW/TAGS: Explicit, Sex where one party is drunk and the other isn't

Summary: Between graduating from college, starting new careers, and planning a wedding, the summer of 1990 is a busy time for Nancy, Steve, and Jonathan. When a war starts in the middle east, Jonathan gets called away just three weeks before the wedding. He’s determined to make it back in time, no matter what it takes.

It's not like people live like this

TW/TAGS: Car Accidents, Period-Typical Homophobia, NSFW

Summary: Concerned that Steve's less-than-stellar grades might have been making them look bad, his parents hired him a tutor, Jonathan Byers, they were sure he wouldn't find as distracting as his last one. Sure, Jonathan had good grades in school, but he really wished he didn't have to take the extra work to help his mother put food on the table. After all, everyone knew Steve Harrington was a jerk. Right? It turned out, not so much. After an impromptu study-session-turned-party and a game of spin the bottle, Steve and Jonathan both found themselves dating Nancy Wheeler. And that wasn't even the strangest thing that happened to any of them that week.

Mr. Sandman (series)

TW/TAGS: Canon-typical violence, Explicit scenes

The Man from U.N.C.L.E.:

Simmer On Low by canardroublard

Pairing: Illya/Napoleon/Gaby

TW/TAGS: semi-implied consensual voyeurism, whump

Summary: Scenes from five kitchens.

The Untamed/CQL/MDZS:

inclusions by keiyashi

Pairing: Sòng Lán | Sòng Zǐchēn/Xiǎo Xīngchén/Xuē Yáng | Xuē Chéngměi

TW/TAGS: NSFW

Summary: “I guess I feel left out. And I’m asking you to show me how not to?”“Show you?” Xue Yang laughs, easing the tension the only way he knows how. “Daozhang, if you aren’t careful, I might think you’re implying something quite forward.”Xingchen blinks at him. “Xue Yang, I feel like you’re trying to embarrass me, but that is what I was implying.”

melting the glacier by keiyashi

Pairing: Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén/Mèng Yáo | Jīn Guāngyáo/Niè Míngjué

Summary: Wanting to be with Nie Mingjue is something Lan Xichen accepted about himself long ago. He wants only happiness for his friend, no matter what form it takes. Even if that form is quite lovely and possesses an enchanting mouth.

Teen Wolf:

Feels Better Biting Down by callunavulgari, hiza-chan (callunavulgari)

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale/Lydia Martin

TW/TAGS: Blood

That I See You by FiccinDylan

Pairing: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski/Jordan Parris

TW/TAGS: NSFW, abo, m-preg (non graphic), werewolves, triads are normal

Summary: Deputy Jordan Parrish and Chef Derek Hale are in the prime of their lives and ready to take the next step in their relationship by courting an omega. Everything seems to be progressing smoothly until the new omega (aka Stiles Stilinski, the sheriff’s son) surfaces some unresolved tension from Jordan’s past. Jordan originally had the benefit of amnesia to block out his harried background, but now with his amnesia behind him, will he be able to resolve his past before he ruins his future?

White Collar:

Always Starts the Same, with a Boy and a Girl by lightgetsin

Pairing: Neal Caffrey/Peter Burke/Elizabeth Burke

Tags: AU

Summary: Summer, 1998. Neal Caffrey robs the gallery where Elizabeth O'Dell is working late, and comes away with a lot more than art. Agent Burke has no idea what's about to hit him.

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fatiguing-thoughts · 4 years

Text

“New Moon” - Jasper Hale Miniseries Part 2

I woke up in the morning to an empty side of the bed next to me.

“No, no, no!” I exclaim, running my hands sporadically throughout the spot where Jasper laid next to me last night.

This couldn’t be real, but it was real.

I grabbed my phone off the desk and called Jasper.

“Sorry, the number you have called is out of service.”

I called the rest of the family, all the same. I wanted to scream, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My head was spinning, I was having a panic attack. I felt like I was dying.

Before I knew it, I hit the floor.

I woke up hours later, waking up to my living nightmare. It felt like my heart was ripped clean out of my chest, with no promise of return.

How could life rob me of the people I loved most in my life? Take away my families that gave me love, twice?

When the car accident happened on my way home from high school graduation, it killed my entire family. I was the only survivor. I moved to Washington to start a new life, I was too depressed to live in my home anymore, I couldn’t bare to live in that house. I moved to Olympia and attended Evergreen State College. Portland became too much for me, I had to go.

After I met Jasper and his family, things grew easier for me. The hole in my heart slowly filled. I felt loved again, people cared for me like a family. They loved and respected me; I was not lonely anymore. Holidays weren’t spent crying alone anymore, they were spent surrounded by love. I miss my family dearly but was grateful for a second chance for a family. But now, it was once again ripped from my hands at the hand of someone else.

I stumbled over to my desk, looking at the pictures of my handsome boyfriend and myself. I noticed that he took one; I hope he looks at it as much as I look at them.

I thought back to how I met Jasper. I was shopping in Port Angeles, as I like to drive and take road trips at any given chance. I ran into three beautiful women on that rainy day. The tiniest of the three, who I then learned was Alice, looked at me, stared blankly, and dropped what was in her hands at that time. The other two women turned to look at me, before going back to her. She whispered something to them. They all looked at me quizzically before approaching me. I hung out with them for quite some time, befriending them. I know now that she had a vision, she knew I was Jasper’s mate. Rosalie and I clicked very well. We exchanged numbers and agreed to hang out at some point. I spent the rest of the day with them. At one point their adoptive brother, Jasper, met up with us as he needed to shop too.

When Jasper and I made eye contact, all of the air left my lungs. I almost collapsed to the floor, my knees buckled and I gripped onto Rosalie’s arm for support. Alice was smiling uncontrollably as the same thing seemed to happen to Jasper.

“Hello, my name is Jasper Hale.” He says, reaching out his hand for me to take.

“I’m (Y/N Y/L/N).” I said, short of breath, meeting my hand to his.

He grabbed my hand and kissed it, causing me to blush uncontrollably.

The sweet memory caused me to smile, before heading back into reality.

The situation daunted on me, I was alone. I had nobody with me, wouldn’t have anyone with me for quite some time. My best friends, my family, my love-- they’re all gone without a trace.

So I did what I could, I laid in my bed and stared at the ceiling for God knows how long. I had class in an hour and had to go, so I wouldn’t lose sight of my goal. Only now there was a new motive: to see Jasper sooner.

I went to my class, but none of it felt real. It was all a blur. When I returned to my dorm room, I stared out my window.

And that’s how I spent all of my time now, watching the world around me change as I stayed the same. I was too depressed to do anything extra. I went to class, tried to listen, and did the work I had to do. People spoke to me, but it fell upon deaf ears.

I left Jasper and Rosalie voicemails on a daily basis. I wrote letters for Jasper daily, planning to give him them all at once when, even though it felt more like an if, I ever get to see him again.

Being indefinitely separated from my mate left me feeling as if I was living in hell. My nightmares came back, and they came back worse.

I would wake up screaming, having the RA banging on my door to see if I was okay, as people called it in thinking someone was dying. Though I wasn’t physically dying, I felt like I was. I was emotionally and mentally drained as the weeks went on. Weeks turned into months. By the time October rolled around, I still hadn’t talked to anyone. I was so isolated that I even forgot that other people attended this school.

Until one day, a kid in my busines statistics class spoke to me.

“Hey, do you know what we’re doing? I don’t really understand this.” He says to me, trying to smile in a friendly way.

“Uh, yeah.” I say shyly.

I explained the problem to him and turned my attention back towards the lecture.

“Thank you, (Y/N).” He said nicely.

“You know my name?” I said surprisingly. I was so down and lost in my own head, I never learned his name.

“Well, it is on your paper.” He said chuckling.

“Ah yes. That’s true. And your name?” I ask, trying to force myself to talk. After all, this is the most social interaction I’ve had since Jasper left a month ago.

“Mark. It’s nice to finally hear something out of you.” He teased.

I smiled back and chuckled out a “Yeah, that’s fair.”

The class came to an end and with that, I left to go sulk in my room.

Every class, Mark tried to talk to me more and more. He was very nice, I just didn’t feel a need to make any friends anymore.

“Hey listen (Y/N), I know you didn’t do anything for Halloween. Thanksgiving break is coming up in a couple of weeks. I think you need to have some fun. My friends and I are hanging out this weekend at my place. I think you should come by and try the whole, social, thing.” Mark kindly offers.

I sat and thought about it. What was there to lose? I didn’t necessarily want to go, but maybe it would be a nice distraction that wasn’t staring out my window all weekend.

“Ok Mark. I’ll stop by for a little while.” I said calmly.

“Oh wow, actually? That was easier than I thought.” He laughs.

He hands me his phone with a new contact page up. I add myself and hand the phone back.

The class ends and I head back to my dorm.

After sitting for about an hour looking out my window, my phone buzzes. It was Mark.

“So we’ll see you tomorrow at 6:30. Please try to have fun.”

“Yeah, I’ll be there. I’ll try my best.” I respond.

I started writing Jasper’s letter before I stare at the backpack I’ve yet to open.

I can’t explain why I couldn’t. I was just so nervous. But it was time. It’s been almost two months since the Cullens left.

I unzip the massive backpack and see an absurd amount of cash, some papers, and some little packages. I open the papers first. One is the address of the new apartment and the other two are sealed with my name on it.

I open the first one and see a receipt? I look closer and see that he had paid off the duration of my tuition here. I almost cried at the thought of it, and I would’ve if I had any tears left.

I open the second one and see his handwriting. I stopped breathing for a second.

“Dear (Y/N),

I’m so sorry for what is happening Darlin’. I hope this ends sooner than later because not being with you is the worst pain that I could ever fathom. I hope you treat yourself well, please take care of yourself. I can’t wait to see you again, my love. Soon enough, we’ll have forever together. Do well in school, it’s important. I left you what I think you’ll need in this bag, please don’t miss anything in it. I will see you soon enough, doll.

Love always,

Jasper Whitlock Hale”

My tears dropped upon the paper. I opened the rest of the bag.

I saw a little rectangle box. I opened it and gasped. It was a necklace with a “J” on it. I held it close to my chest before putting it on.

It almost felt like he was real again. It felt like I wasn’t just imagining everything that happened to me.

I grabbed a picture of he and I before climbing into bed and holding it to my chest. I laid there until I fell asleep holding it.

When I woke up, it was 10 am. I did some homework and decided to finally go see the apartment that Jasper picked for me.

I ate some breakfast and got in my car. About an hour or so later, I pulled into the parking lot of a cute complex. I go up to mine and look around. It felt so empty despite being furnished. I walk into the kitchen and see a note on the counter. It was from Jasper.

“Hey Doll, it looks like you found the apartment. I hope you like what we’ve done with it for you.”

I almost instinctively crumpled the note up in my hands as I held it to my chest, but stopped myself. I put it back on the counter before finding my bedroom. It was customized just for me, that’s for sure. My eyes welled up with tears and I couldn’t control myself when I saw the framed picture of Jasper and I on the wall. I looked out the window and admired the view of the tree line. I missed my boyfriend more than anything. This was going to be hard. At about 4 or so, I decided to head back to school after dropping some of my stuff in the apartment.

I get back and get ready to go to Mark’s hangout. This would not only be my first social setting in some time, but my first big group of people in months. I was so afraid I could get sick.

I drive to the address that Mark gave me and let him know I was there. I looked around and noticed that this was definitely a frat house. Well, let’s hope for the best.

He came outside to come get me. I exited the car and followed him inside to see about 25 people in the living room and kitchen area. This was going to be a nightmare.

“Hey (Y/N), thanks for coming. Can I get you something to drink?” Mark offers.

“No thank you, I have water with me.”

“What? You don’t want a shot or anything?” He asked me confused.

“Mark I’m driving. I also don’t drink, but thank you.” I tell him.

As I look around I become increasingly aware of the fact that I’m the only female here.

“Did I crash a boy’s night or something?” I ask him.

“No I just wanted everyone to meet you.” He says.

“Oh?” I said puzzled.

“Is this her? Is this (Y/N)?” A large man comes up and asks Mark,

“Yes it is.” Mark answered. “(Y/N), this is Joe.”

“Hi Joe. Nice to meet you.” I said shyly.

“Hello. You’re right Mark, she is really pretty. You should ask her out.”

Ah there it is, the reason I was invited.

“Please go away, Joe.” Mark said as he pushed Joe out of the conversation.

“Well…” Mark trails off, looking at me.

“Well what?” I ask back.

“Would you wanna go out some time?” He asked nervously.

“Mark, I’m flattered. Thank you but I’m actually with someone. It’s pretty serious. I appreciate the gesture, though.” I say nicely.

“So why are you alone all the time?” He asks me, with kind of annoyed tone.

“Because he’s not here right now?” I said questioning his tone.

“Well, let’s just get you to have some fun tonight.” He said, pulling me further into the house by my hand.

As I walk through, all I see is drunk men. I haven’t been this uncomfortable in so long.

I sit on the couch alone and look around. I check my phone, nothing.

“What’s a pretty girl like you sitting all alone for?” I hear from above me.

My stomach turned as I look up and see a guy about the size of Emmett.

Emmett. I miss my chaos twin. I miss them all so much.

I lost my track of thought when I felt the couch dip next to me and someone throwing their arm over my shoulder.

Once again, the feeling of nausea was returning. The pit in my stomach was turning.

“So, what’s your name? Jasmine? Jade? Am I close?” He says, reaching out to twiddle his fingers around my “J” necklace.

I quickly grab my necklace from his grasp.

“No, my name is (Y/N). The J is my boyfriend’s initial. His name is Jasper.” I snapped at him.

“Oh, so where is your boyfriend, then? Why would he leave you all alone? Doesn’t seem like he cares very much if you’re alone all the time, or if you came here alone.” He said in a whisper as he caressed my arm. I could smell the liquor on his breath.

I wish I knew where he was.

“He does, he’s busy doing something important.” I said harshly as I pull my arm away quickly.

My phone begins to go off in my pocket, I get up to look at the screen. It’s an unknown number. Hell I’d answer anyone, even a spam call, to get out of this situation right now.

“Hello?” I say into the phone, happy just to have a break in whatever that situation was turning into.

“(Y/N), leave. Now.” It was Alice.

“Alice?” I basically scream into the phone.

“(Y/N), please leave. Never speak to them again. Get out, go home.” She says as I hear the call end.

I ran out of the house, started my car, and left. My worries weren’t for nothing. They were going to hurt me.

But as I drove home, none of that really stayed on my mind.

Alice called me; I couldn’t even trace a number. I couldn’t call back. For once I felt like they were real again. I began to cry, I missed them so much. The most I heard from them in months was a fifteen second phone call. I didn’t get to talk, it was just so I wouldn’t let myself get hurt.

I pulled into my usual parking spot and headed up to my dorm room. Hoping that this semester ends soon enough. I only have two weeks before Winter break. This couldn’t come sooner.

I crawled into my bed, staring at the J on my necklace until I fell asleep.

Jasper’s POV

Hearing the phone call was too much for me.

Hearing about Alice’s vision was too much for me.

This was all too much for me. I needed to see (Y/N).

I needed to go there and kill every single one of them. If it wasn’t for Emmett and Carlisle holding me back and calming me down, I’m not sure I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself.

I was sick of just hoping my fragile (Y/N) would be okay. It wasn’t enough for me that Alice was watching with her visions.

I have an anger so deep within me that I could destroy anything in my path. So that’s what I did with Emmett. We went outside and broke boulders about fifteen miles from where we were staying. It was how I was gonna keep myself calm.

“I’m really sorry Jasper.” Emmett says to me.

“Thank you, Emmett.” I look back at him.

“We all miss her too, I know it’s different. But it hurts us too. I wish she could’ve come. But we’ll see her soon.” He says to me.

“I want it more than anything. I would also like to show up to that party.” My voice trailed off. If vampires could cry, I’d have been crying from the start of this conversation.

“I know, but we can’t. We have to be happy nothing happened to her. So I really can’t let you go do that.” He pats the back of my left shoulder.

I nodded to him. Emmett was truly the best brother I could ask for. Rosalie picked an amazing mate, and I owe her one for that.

“Do you smell that?” He says, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

“Bears?” I say, a little bit of the predator side in me taking over.

“Yeah, I think it’s time for dinner.” He says smirking.

And just like that we were off, racing to find a bear.

*********

Word Count: 2973

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mercuryonparklane · 3 years

Text

An attempt at objectivity on the topic of Tayliz/a summary: Part 2

(Kind of...)

I’ve been busy with irl stuff the last week, so I haven’t been posting much lately. I finally have a day where I have nothing else to do and I’ve been considering making a post about where I currently stand on Tayliz/Gaylor in general for a while, so I thought now would be a good time to do that.

Disclaimer: I don’t know any of these people personally and this is all my own interpretation of publicly available information. I apologize for the length of this post...

I’ve been a Taylor fan since 2006 and a Gaylor since at least early 2009 when I was posting fanfics on LiveJournal (I stopped writing rpf a long time ago, btw). I’ve been in and out of the Gaylor fandom since then. I’ve created and deleted multiple blogs/accounts in the past 12+ years. I was mostly active between 2009 and 2015, but I did a lot of lurking during that time and only engaged when I felt I had something to contribute. 2015/2016 was a crazy time and I was going through some of my own stuff, so I stopped following Gaylor as closely for a while. I listened to reputation and Lover, I read the Gaylor theories, made a couple comments, and moved along. When folklore was released it drew me back in.

I created this blog in September 2020, before I even had an inkling that Liz might be more than just another name that has been thrown into the potential exes list, along with Claire C. and Kellie (I don’t believe either of those two had anything beyond friendship with Taylor). I had never looked into it too much because it seemed like there was not as much information as there was for the main 3 (Emily, Dianna, and Karlie). Now, after researching Tayliz for 5 months, I believe there is at least as much, if not more, to go on as there is for the main 3.

As for Taymily, I believe that, at the very least, Taylor had a massive crush on Emily. I don’t like to get too in-depth about that because there is a very suspect age gap. I’m not saying that those things don’t happen, but I will reiterate my statement from an earlier post that I am not comfortable essentially accusing someone of committing a crime when all that can be deciphered is that Taylor seemed to really care about her. I do think there are multiple songs about Emily.

I also believe that Taylor did date Dianna and possibly had some kind of relationship with Karlie. I think both of these possible relationships are long over at this point. Taylor may have been looking back on those relationships (along with others) in her last few albums.

I still personally think it is possible that Taylor is a lesbian, but there are reasons to think she might be bi and I understand why people think that she is. I don’t really talk about the guys Taylor may have dated, but I will say that, to me, all of the boyfriends she had after high school seem like beards. I could be wrong, of course. There are way too many signs that she is queer for me to not think that she is at least bi.

There have always been sapphic themes in Taylor’s music, even in early songs like “Me And Britney” and “Angelina”. Her entire discography is littered with sapphic themes. In recent years, she has seemed to hint at being some form of queer in other ways as well. This has all been examined by others, so I won’t get into that in this post.

Anyway, on to Tayliz…

There is some compelling “circumstantial evidence” suggesting that there may have been something beyond friendship between Tayliz (a lot of this was covered in my first post and all of the information has been mentioned at some point on my blog):

They met multiple times between December 2006 and February 2009, when Liz first performed with Taylor, but it is hard to tell how well they knew each other at that time. Based on the information available, I actually think they might have even been close, or at least friendly, before Liz was hired, but I could be wrong.

The “official” story is that Liz met Taylor at a meet and greet in December 2006 and again in July 2007. She asked if she could sing for Taylor and Taylor gave her advice, including suggesting that she enter a talent contest and that she should move to Nashville. Some accounts say that Liz sang for Taylor in her dressing room, but I have never found a source for this part of the story.

Taylor wrote the following sentence about Liz in her blog on February 5, 2008, after performing on the competition show that Liz was a contestant on: “It sounds strange, but there was always something different about her that stuck out in my mind”. That is super suspect to me...

Taylor was the only musician to perform on the show, btw (although they did have the touring cast of HSM on the next week). Taylor allegedly said, during the interview portion of her appearance, that she knew Liz and that Liz had gone to “all” of her shows and meet and greets… whatever that means.

According to Liz, she moved to Nashville in June 2008 and sometime within the next 6 months she received a call to audition as a backup singer, but did not know for which artist she was auditioning. I feel like it would be an incredible coincidence that Taylor suggested she move to Nashville two years earlier, they met multiple times after that, and randomly Liz got a call to audition for Taylor without knowing it was for her within 6 months of moving there. I don’t know, maybe I’m being too skeptical, but it seems almost more of a reach to say that Taylor didn’t somehow have a hand in her getting that audition.

Liz already seemed very comfortable around Taylor in that picture with George Strait taken on the day of her first show with the band in February 2009.

At the one-off shows after Liz joined the band, there was a little skit between Taylor, Liz, and Grant during YBWM, where Grant played the love interest and Liz played the “Cheer Captain”. There was even a talking bit. During the Australia one-off shows, there was a talking bit before F&A where Taylor introduced Liz and they had a little conversation that ended similarly to the one Taylor has with the interviewer during the Fearless Tour. After this, they rarely interacted on stage.

Taylor seemed to allow Liz’s input during the auditions for the Fearless Tour dancers, two months after she joined the band, and Taylor ended up hiring two of her friends.

Liz went with Taylor to visit Abigail at her university in Kansas two months after joining the band.

Taylor took Liz with her to see Britney Spears’ Circus Tour show in Chicago right after the Kansas trip.

Taylor said in an interview for Oprah’s website, released in May 2009, that Australia and Lawrence, KS were her two favorite places to visit, which just so happen to be two of the places she had recently been with Liz.

The fact that they shared a hotel room in London a few months after Liz joined the band. Caitlin, who had been in the band for a while at that point, and her mom were both there for that trip. Maybe Taylor was just happy to be able to hang out with another woman around her age. It seems strange, but it could be a completely platonic situation.

Taylor and the band, including Liz, recorded a cover of “American Girl” by Tom Petty (one of Liz’s favorite artists) in front of the Rose Garden in Portland, Oregon in May 2009. The secret message for “Sparks Fly” is “Portland, Oregon” and she mentions the Rose Garden in “The Lucky One”.

Taylor mentions going to dinner with Liz, seemingly just the two of them, in her vlog from May 29, 2009, which was around Liz’s birthday (May 27).

The amount of Liz content in the vlogs. Plus, the choice to put the line “I like where you sleep, when you sleep next to me” right before showing Liz sleeping on a couch (this was the trip where they shared a hotel room, which does make that fact more suspect, imo) and including the song “She (For Liz)” in another vlog, in which she dedicates a whole section to Liz’s habit of falling asleep “All. The. Time.”

In fact, in both of those vlogs, which were posted a year apart from each other (May 2009 and April 2010), Taylor wears a black dot shirt, in clips that include only her and Liz, that is similar to the one she wore in the IKYWT mv.

Honestly, just go watch the video she made for Emily and then watch the vlogs after Liz joined the band… I just get a similar vibe in the clips she chose to include of both women.

They went to a Paramore concert together the weekend before Taylor hosted SNL in November 2009. At the concert, they were filmed by other attendees dancing next to each other on the balcony. One of the songs they were filmed dancing to is “That’s What You Get” and Taylor asked Hayley to perform that song with her (and the band, including Liz) at one of the Nashville shows on the SN Tour in 2011. In November 2019, Liz released her own song called “That’s What You Get” that sounds like it could be the opposite side of the relationship much of Red is about (and a couple other Taylor songs from other albums).

In Taylor’s Glamour interview published on 10/5/2010, she mentions that she designed the two guest rooms at her Nashville condo with Caitlin and Liz in mind.

After tweeting about attending the Katy P. concert in Dublin with Taylor (and Grant and Caitlin) someone asked Liz what her favorite KP song was and she responded “Thinking Of You”. This is suspect because at the time Liz did have a bf, but she may have just liked the song and didn’t necessarily relate to it personally.

There are tweets from people who are either not really well-known or aren’t in the industry at all that mention Taylor and Liz hanging out outside of touring. They are mentioned together in quite a few tweets actually. They seemed to have a good number of mutual friends during that time (spring/summer 2009-fall 2012). After Liz left the band, Taylor stopped hanging out with most of those people, while Liz continues to maintain some of those friendships to this day. This could be explained by the fact that Taylor began spending less time in Nashville.

One such friend is the photographer who Taylor hired for Red. She is actually a longtime friend of Liz. Supposedly she took some photos of Liz that Taylor saw and Taylor hired her after that. There are some pictures from Taylor’s Red photoshoot that are similar to Liz’s photos.

There are rumors that Liz was fired, but the “official” story is that she left to pursue her own music.

Liz did not wish Taylor a happy birthday on twitter in 2012, which she had done in previous years. She did not tweet @ or mention Taylor for almost a year. Taylor didn’t respond to any of her tweets or mention her until October 2014.

Some of the songs Liz released in late 2012/early 2013 have similar lyrics/themes to Taylor’s music and may be about Taylor.

The lyric video for Liz’s song STFU&HM includes polaroid pictures with the song’s lyrics written on them and neon signs, which is basically the 1989 aesthetic. The actual mv has some potential parallels to the IKYWT mv. (side note: Liz specified in an interview that the kind of “sour candy” she is singing about in the song is Watermelon Sour Patch, which Taylor mentioned in the June 2008 issue of Teen Vogue was something that she “couldn’t live without”)

The love interest wears a key necklace in the STFU&HM mv and Taylor wears one in the IKYWT mv.

The bridge of IKYWT is very similar to lyrics from a song by Patty Griffin called “Nobody’s Crying”. Liz once said that Patty is her favorite singer (this was when she was still in Taylor’s band) and has mentioned her and that particular song multiple times over the years. Side note: Taylor mentioned last year that another one of Patty’s songs was the inspiration for “betty”.

Liz played the other woman in the mv for TSOU and in the photoshoot for SN. At the end of the mv for her song “H8U”, Liz interrupts her love interest’s wedding and kisses his tall, blonde, curly haired bride.

This one could be a crazy coincidence, but Liz recorded the backing vocals on a song called “Dear John” that was written by the backup dancer who came out to Taylor during the Fearless Tour. Btw, by no means am I saying DJ is about Liz because that would make zero sense.

Liz’s birthday is on one of the board games in the “Lover” mv that reference “Cruel Summer”. Most people think CS is about Karlie and that makes sense, but it also seems to reference “Love Story”, which was potentially written sometime around when Taylor performed on the show Liz was a contestant on. I don’t know if LS is about Liz and I am not trying to claim that, but it is interesting. Even if it’s not, they performed that song together a lot and Liz helped out with the onstage costume change during that song. CS could be about her experiences with both Liz and Karlie. Or it could just be about Karlie and the date in the “Lover” mv has nothing to do with Liz’s birthday.

In “the 1” and “dorothea”, Taylor potentially references Liz’s song “Never Know” and by reference, I mean that she essentially uses the exact same lyrics: “I guess you never know, you never know” = “I guess you never know, never know” and “I guess I’ll never know” = literally just the same line. Not to mention in “dorothea” Taylor also sings “Do you ever stop and think about me?” and in NK Liz sings “I wonder if you think about me” right before the line “I guess I’ll never know”. I am not saying that either of those songs are about Liz, but it is interesting, especially since Liz tweeted about “the 1”, which was the thing that really sent me on my deep dive into Tayliz.

The “cardigan” looks like the cardigan she wears in the first vlog she included Liz in. It could be nothing, but it is interesting because I have a theory that Liz is the first woman she had a “relationship” with and that “cardigan” is about Liz, Dianna, Karlie, and possibly some other women she might have dated/been with.

These are just some of the highlights and are more focused on the facts as opposed to some of my more tinfoil hat, fun, crack theory stuff or just some of the things that are loosely related to Liz or might involve a little (or a lot of) reaching to connect them to her.

Everything I have mentioned could just be a series of strange coincidences, even though there appears to be quite a few of them. Whether anything ever happened between them or it was just one of those intense, romantic friendships that some women tend to have, I don’t really know. Based on what I have seen, I tend to think there was something going on there beyond friendship, but possibly it was never anything official.

Liz seemed to have a boyfriend most of the time that Tayliz were working together/hanging out, which is one of the main things that makes me question my own theory. Of course, it is always possible that she had something with Taylor, while she also had a boyfriend. There are many reasons for that (poly, closeted, etc.), so that does not exclude the idea that she may have actually been involved with two people at one time and one of those people could have been Taylor.

If they were together in some capacity, while Liz also had a boyfriend, it could explain the messy relationship that Taylor seemed to write about during that time. I think it is possible that Emily was just a crush and Liz was her first actual experience with another woman where the feelings were reciprocated to some degree. OR they could have just been really good friends and I am utterly, completely wrong.

Maybe Taylor is just a straight girl, who doesn’t realize that she’s been sending signals that she is queer for years. Whenever that thought crosses my mind, I think about all of the things she has said and done that imply she may not be straight and I just can’t help thinking that it is intentional. I don’t think she is queerbaiting or unintentionally signaling that she might be queer. I think she is queer and has dropped multiple hints to suggest that over the years.

Anyway… Liz has a bf right now and seems to be in a good place, so let’s let her be, please. I hope we get some more new music from her soon.

As far as researching Tayliz goes, I’ll probably keep looking into it when I have time, but at this point I think I have seen pretty much all there is to see (of the content available online currently). I’ll be waiting for the songs from Taylor’s “vault” to drop to see if there are any potential connections there (at least in the “vault” songs for Fearless, Speak Now, and Red).

In conclusion (TL;DR)...

My personal opinion is that there is enough “circumstantial evidence” to include Liz on the list of Taylor potential exes. For me the Gaylor timeline looks something like this:

(Fair Warning: this is all total speculation based on song lyrics and other information that is publicly available)

Summer 2006-December 2007: Taylor develops a crush on Emily. Emily possibly finds out somehow and it doesn’t go over well (OR it does). She is fired from the band AND maybe she is paid off to pursue other interests…

2008/2009- Spring (Summer? Fall?) 2012: Taylor has an on/off relationship with Liz, while Liz also dates men. The relationship may have even started developing as early as the first time they supposedly met back in December 2006, but Taylor definitely was feeling something by the time she posted that blog in February 2008. It’s complicated and non-exclusive. Maybe Taylor wanted more of a commitment and maybe there were promises made that things could/would change, but they never did. By the time she started hanging out with Dianna she was ready to move on. So, she ended things in March/April… but still met up with Liz a couple times after (possibly as friends).

Taylor may have also dated Julianne H. at some point in 2008/2009.

Spring 2012-Fall 2013 (?): Taylor has an on/off relationship with Dianna that may have ended, in part, due to interference from Taylor’s team. Maybe it is the one relationship with a woman that could have actually developed into something more concrete, but maybe that also scared Taylor a bit.

Winter 2013/Early 2014-Fall 2016: Taylor has an on/off relationship with Karlie, while Karlie is also involved with Josh (hence my comment about how CS could be about her experiences with both Liz and Karlie because they may have been similar circumstances, where sometimes they were single and other times they had a serious bf).

Fall 2016-Present: There are at least a couple potential girlfriends within this timeframe. I lean towards Tily being a thing from at least fall 2016-Summer 2019. I am open to Zaylor and I do find it interesting, but I’m not as sold on that one. I personally do not think Taylor is with Joe nor do I think that Joe is WB.

The straight explanation could be that Taylor gets into really, intensely close friendships with other women and eventually they grow apart and move on with their lives.

The funny thing is that I remember Taylor once saying something about how after a breakup, she completely cuts that person off. That fits with her relationships (whatever the nature) with Liz, Dianna, and Karlie. With each of these women, Taylor shared a friend group with them, but Taylor seemed most interested in them. She has had a few friendly/cordial interactions with them, but she seems to have completely separated her life from them after their “friendships” ended. In fact, she moved to entirely different cities on opposite sides of the country (and in one case a different country, with a whole ocean in between) after she stopped hanging out with them.

That’s where I stand and it’s not really much different from where I was back in October when I posted my first summary on Tayliz.

Although, I do have more information now than I did then that leads me to think something was going on. 70% of the time I am convinced they had a relationship beyond friendship and 30% of the time I think they were only ever friends. 99.9% of the time I think I am a clown.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I am inclined to believe that Tayliz is more likely to have had some sort of relationship than Taymily and is slightly less likely to have happened than Swiftgron and Kaylor. Other Gaylors might think they were only coworkers or friends. I’m not out to convince anyone. I am just presenting the information I have found and I don’t mind a friendly discussion/debate if anyone wants to talk about it.

#tayliz #random tayliz thoughts #random gaylor thoughts

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lifeinahole27 · 4 years

Text

CS ff: “Walking the Tightrope” (Chapter 6/10) (au)

Summary: Killian’s daily routines are a matter of habit. When he wakes up late one morning, his routines all change for the better. Emma doesn’t care about routines, but she does care about Killian, no matter how reluctant she is to admit it to herself.

Rating: E (much later in the story)

Content Warnings: Maybe some strong language. Attempts at sexual situations. I did mention this was a slow burn, right? Like. Super slow burn.

A Special Thank You: My continued gratitude to my lovely friends, @captainstudmuffin and @phiralovesloki. And a heap of love to @captainswanbigbang for putting this together and helping me accomplish this.

Find it on Ao3 & FFN!

-x-

Chapter 6: Softening the Edges

November 2: Saturday

The last time Emma remembers going on a date, it was with Walsh - and while she has a feeling Killian would appreciate the LBD with a leather twist that she still owns, she’d rather not wear something that has a memory of that asshole attached.

All of the other dresses she owns are tight and short, which worked a lot better for picking up one-night-stands. None of those dresses are going to be the right ones, either, which is why they’re all still in the back of her closet.

Instead, she’s looking at the choices hanging in front of her that she unpacked while on the phone with Killian last night. One was an impulse buy from this past spring, and the other two are loaners from Ruby and Snow.

It’s noon, and there are hours to go before the date, but Emma wants this to be perfect so she diligently takes each dress off the hanger, slipping it on and assessing each option carefully before moving on to the next.

Her timer goes off, letting her know it’s time to retrieve her laundry. Normally, all she wants to do on a Saturday is lounge around, but nerves have her going strong right now. She also wants the loft to be spotless. Just in case she has a visitor tonight, but that’s not something she’s anticipating, so to speak, but it could be.

The way her stomach flips tells her exactly how big of a deal that actually feels like.

Instead of dwelling on the hopeful way he invited her in for hot chocolate on Halloween, Emma focuses on her tasks. She switches out the clothes before going back to try on the last two dresses.

It’s between a black one that Ruby lent her and a pink one she bought online, and it’s not until the latter is on her body that she decides it’s the one. It’s soft and almost fluid, and she takes a moment to turn back and forth to feel the skirts brush against her thighs. She stands in front of her mirror admiring the picture it all makes, so unlike how she dresses for work or even for a night on the town.

Off it goes and back on the hanger, and Emma makes sure to set out the rest of what she’ll wear, finding the perfect heels to go with it before heading downstairs to clean her bathroom.

She’s never been one for following a specific routine other than necessities, but Emma goes through her process later when she’s getting ready. It’s maybe the only time she cares about being orderly, stashing all her makeup back away when she’s finished with another whisper to herself that it’s better to be safe.

Killian texted and said he’d be there at six-thirty, and she’s just fixed the backing on her second earring when the knock comes.

Shaking out her hands one last time, Emma swings open the door for Killian, and immediately all thoughts simple and pure fly out the window.

Suits and ties, she’s used to. Even the waistcoats. But this look is somehow familiar yet completely new. No thoughts of offices and editors come to mind when she looks at the total picture that the black jeans and leather vest gives off. She's tempted to invite him in now, but she’s hungry and has no intention of turning Killian into one of her really bad statistics.

Killian, meanwhile, has a look on his face that she’ll be replaying for as long as she lives. His eyes scan her from top to bottom, not in a sexual way but in stunned surprise. And yeah, because he’s used to seeing her in jeans and a leather jacket, she doesn’t blame him for the expression on his face. He finally picks his jaw up off the floor and looks her in the eye again.

“You look stunning, Swan,” he says, the words slow to come out as he takes in her appearance. Good to know she’s knocked him off balance, as well.

“You look��” she trails off, not even knowing how to sum it up, but he saves her the trouble.

“I know,” he says, a little smug but mostly matter-of-fact.

Her laugh is a quick exhalation, her lips turning up into a smirk before he holds out a single rose for her. It’s a small gesture, but it’s still better than any other man has done for her on a first date. Really, on any dates at all.

“Let me pop this in water and we’ll go,” she tells him, moving quickly to the kitchen to find a vase.

It’s only once outside that she realizes just how cold it is, and she’s glad she wore her wool coat but momentarily regrets the lack of hat. It would’ve ruined her hair but at least her ears would be warm.

“I hope you weren’t lying about trusting me,” Killian says as he guides her to an SUV that’s idling against the curb.

“What’s this?”

“Robin let me borrow his vehicle for the evening. He’s been helping me get used to American driving. Might be a different side of the road but I think we’ll be all right.” He opens the door for her and waits until she’s settled before closing it again. When he climbs in and closes his own door he turns to her for a moment. “I also hope a diligent law officer can turn a blind eye for the sake of a date, since I haven’t gotten my license just yet.”

“Knew there had to be a catch,” she jokes, patting his arm comfortingly. “I won’t tell if you won’t.”

It’s been years since she’s gone to Tony’s, and never has it been with a man she was seeing. The last time she was here, it was with Ruby and Snow because they wanted to dress up and feel fancy for a night while also consuming their combined weight in pasta.

Killian hastens to pull out her chair for her, smiling as he shrugs out of his jacket and drapes it over the back of his chair before settling in across from her.

“No sad back stories,” Emma says as soon as their waiter walks away. “No prior relationships. Anything else is fair game.”

“You don’t waste any time, do you?”

“Not really. I like you. And I’m scared and excited to be on a date again for the first time in a very long time. And I don’t want to fuck that up by rambling about how shit my luck was before I made it to where I am now.” It takes a lot of effort not to wring her hands together, even as they’re sitting in her lap. No nerves, no tension. Just enjoy a date.

“Fair point. First, let me ask your favorite type of wine,” he says, handing her the menu to consider.

“Most reds, but not tonight.”

“Afraid you’ll find me even more irresistible?” he asks, leaning back and doing something sinful with his eyebrows when he looks at her. He’s tempting… so very tempting.

“No,” she says after a moment to collect herself. “I like first dates. And I’d rather not be all cloudy by the time my dinner arrives.”

His smile turns to something pure and happy. “No wine, then.” He waits until the waiter has taken their orders before speaking again. “What’s your favorite thing about Storybrooke?”

“That we have actual seasons here. Not like in Florida where it was just hot and humid until it wasn’t, with a smattering of hurricanes.”

“Or England where there’s maybe forty-five days when the sun shines.”

“You get the point on that one,” Emma tells him. “Why did you decide to move here?”

There’s a few emotions that cross Killian’s face all at once, and she knows without needing the explanation. Will did say it was a story for the man himself. “Okay, we’ll save that for another time, too.”

“I was genuinely surprised that a publishing company wanted to set up an office here in Storybrooke,” Emma says, realizing she’s never asked why.

“Robin prefers forests of trees over concrete jungles,” Killian explains. “There is a central office with a lot more people in New York City, but he only goes down when he has to and we utilize a lot of video conferences for everything else.”

“That’s a lot of distance for just some editing and such, isn’t it?”

“It’s more than just that, love. Robin’s looking to start up workshops and clinics for his signed authors. He’s been hosting a fellowship for new authors for a week at a time at a cabin he owns up on the edge of the town as well. If you ask him, this place has a natural fount of creative powers just waiting to be tapped into. That’s kind of how Henry happened.”

“What do you mean?”

“He was on vacation about a year ago with his parents… well, foster parents. They said as soon as he sat down in the room that he whipped out his pen and paper. By the time they got back from going to grab dinner downstairs at Granny’s, he had just about finished the first chapter. Worked out a deal to buy him a laptop for some chores.”

“That’s amazing. Do they come with him for his meetings with you?”

“Well,” Killian starts, and his face falls. Before the words are out of his mouth, she knows what he’s going to say. “He’s not with that family anymore. That couple did everything they could to try to make up for the fact that they had to move and not take him with them, so he has his own laptop, we communicate with him via an iPod, and he has a suitcase that he protects with his life. But his current situation is... not as ideal.”

Emma swallows hard, a bubble of emotion getting lodged in her throat. “I can imagine how much that must hurt for him.”

“He’s been in higher spirits since his new foster parents started letting him travel on his own. He’s just turned sixteen and he’s fiercely independent, so he loves to take the train from Portland by himself and make his way up the coast for a weekend, even if it’s just a few hours away.”

“Sometimes even just a few hours can feel like a whole different country.”

“I gather you’ve lived in a few places if that’s the way you feel.”

“I didn’t really live in Boston. But sometimes going down there to visit was like going to the far reaches of the Earth. Tallahassee was too far, when it came down to it, so I’ve mostly lived here in Storybrooke with a few exceptions.”

“Where you’ve followed the family business to be a police officer.”

“Correct. Have a shiny degree with my name on it and everything. It’s just from an online degree program, but…”

She’s surprised when Killian reaches across the table to touch her hand. “Online degrees are just as valid and important as ones earned in person at a university.”

There’s something about the way he says it - Emma is positive that he’s giving the affirmation to both of them - but she pushes past wanting to ask him about it and instead flips her hand around to briefly link her fingers with his. “You’re right. They are. And I’m proud of mine.”

“But you refuse to wear a uniform?”

The urge to shudder crawls up her spine but she controls that, as well. “Hate the things. Way too unflattering, way too uncomfortable. Besides, David decided we didn’t really need them since it’s such a small department. As long as we don’t come in wearing sweatpants, he’s okay with it.”

“Do you enjoy it?”

“Yeah,” Emma says, almost immediately. “There was a time when I was younger that I was sure I wouldn’t, but I do now. By the way, Regina approved our budget for upgrades. I’m sitting down on Monday and just going to town online shopping for all the things we need. I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to get everything we want and still have some left over.”

“That’s fantastic,” he exclaims, looking genuinely happy for her. She’s so unused to this kind of support and attention, but she’s certainly not going to complain.

When their food arrives, they slow down a little bit but not by much. Back and forth they ask and answer, between bites of food and avoidance of the hard stuff - both in liquor and life experiences. There’s plenty to be talked about there: Emma has a metric ton of shit in her history and she knows she’ll have to talk about it eventually, but eventually isn’t today. By the time they’ve ordered dessert, she’s more relaxed than she’s ever felt on a date before. They only ordered one of the delectable selections, something that’s ice cream and delicious and not the standard tiramisu. As the check arrives, Killian reaches for his wallet and Emma grabs for her purse. At that, his eyebrow pops up.

“I’ve never been on a date with a woman who pulled out her wallet at the end,” he admits. “Would you prefer to split or would it be okay if I paid for the both of us?”

“I’ve never been on a date with a man who asked,” Emma says, gesturing for him to go on as she tucks her handbag away again. “Did you have a choice to work in NYC when you moved here?” Even though they talked about the Storybrooke location earlier, she realizes she never asked him that.

“No. Robin specifically hired me to be a junior editor in this office.”

“Would you have preferred to work there instead of here?”

“Not at all,” Killian says without even a second of hesitation. The quickness surprises her, just like so much constantly does with him. “I was working in London and living right on the outskirts of the city when I applied for this position. I’d had enough of bustling and tourism and noise. When Robin told me I’d be moving to a town in Maine that had a population of less than ten thousand, it felt like the right move. And now that I’m settling in, I know I’ve made the right choice.”

“I may be biased, but I think you did, too.”

With the bill all settled, they exit the restaurant into the cool night air, with Emma’s hand tangled with Killian’s. She noticed that the patrons all glanced as they came and went, but Emma hopes that she and Killian are yesterday’s news before too long. It’s probably the only downside to this small town that they all feel the need to gossip like wildfire.

He opens the car door for her again, letting his fingers trail across hers as he releases her hand and sends little shocks of heat along her skin.

Killian walks her all the way to her door, his thumb gently rubbing against hers as they climb the stairs. She turns when they get to her door, slipping a little bit into his personal space.

“Well, not bad,” she says, reaching down and taking his hand and hook in her hands. “You managed to make me forget that I’ve spent the last three days trying to get oil spots out of my jeans thanks to an unfortunate call to Billy’s shop the other day.”

“That’s an easy, three-step process if you’d like my assistance.”

“In that case, wanna come in for some coffee and stain removal?”

He hums, stepping forward so they’re toe-to-toe, their noses brushing as she’s just at the same height with her heels on. When he speaks, his breath tickles her lips and she frees up her hands in favor of running them up the lapels of his jacket to rest on his shoulders.

“Aye, but first, I’ve been waiting to do this all night,” he tells her, his voice low and husky and everything she wants to hear right now.

Then his lips are on hers and she’s perfectly fine with not hearing his voice because she’d rather be doing this anyway. Carefully, without breaking the kiss, she inches backwards until she can lean on the door, pulling Killian against her and letting all her thoughts leave for the moment. She doesn’t put out on the first date, but that doesn’t mean they can’t do anything else, right? His grip on her hip feels as tense as she is, and she finally stops so she can get her door unlocked.

When it swings open, however, her apartment isn’t dark and empty like she left it, and she jolts away from Killian in surprise at Snow propped on her breakfast bar and David standing behind her counter.

“Hey! We weren’t sure when… oh!”

Clearly, the other couple hadn’t expected Killian to still be attached to Emma when they hatched a plan to come see how it went instead of waiting until the next day. Emma glances at Killian to see the amused smile on his face. She also sees that this is where the train stops tonight, and she sighs.

“Give us a second,” Emma says to her family as she crowds Killian back into the hallway for some semblance of privacy; she knows how thin her door is. “Do you still want to come in and have coffee? Probably get the concerned-father speech from David?”

“I suppose we’ll just have to wait until next time for all of that,” he says, definitely not unkindly but there’s a hint of disappointment that this is where their evening ends, and she knows the feeling.

“Next time, huh? I don’t remember asking.”

“That’s because it’s my turn,” he tells her, his voice light and playful. Just as quickly, he gets a serious look in his eyes and she’s not sure a marching band coming out of her apartment would tear her attention away from him. “Will you go out with me again?”

His eyes are so sincere, his expression hopeful and patient and of course she’s going to go out with him again. She steps forward, deciding that actions are better than words right now, kissing him softly but solidly, making sure it teeters right on the edge of the heat they were producing just a few minutes ago.

She can’t get over the way he holds her, the way his arms come around her and mold her against his body. That paired with the way he kisses her back, the low rumble he makes when her hand comes up to brush against his cheek before sliding into his hair, she almost gets lost to the sensations all over again, Snow and David be damned.

With effort, Emma pulls back the tiniest bit, trying to catch her breath more at the way he leans his forehead against hers than the kiss itself at this point.

“Okay,” she breathes out. “Goodnight Killian.”

“Goodnight,” he replies, his voice sounding equally unsteady.

She looks back at him one more time, biting her lower lip at the mirrored look on his face.

“I need to get the locks changed,” she mutters as she opens the door to her apartment again. “So, let’s talk about how you guys broke into my apartment tonight!”

-x-

Listening to Emma re-greet David and Snow makes Killian chuckle for a moment, and he takes a big breath as he settles his blood again. This woman is already so far under his skin that it’s hard to believe it’s only been a few months since they first spoke to one another.

He has Robin’s car until morning, so it’s a quick, warm drive home. When he steps inside, Killian closes the door and locks it behind him, turning on light after light as he walks through the rooms that he’s inhabited for almost five months. He’s restless, only because he’s already looking forward to the next moment he gets to see Emma, and as his eyes land on various boxes and empty corners, he decides to use this momentum to finish what he started the day before.

After changing out of his clothes and into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, Killian retrieves his box cutter from the kitchen from his last unpacking adventure and starts with his office.

It’s more than past time for him to officially make this place his home.

-x- November 4: Monday

It takes effort for Killian to crawl out of bed on Monday. It’s probably the first time in as long as he can remember that he doesn’t bounce right out of bed as soon as his eyes are open. That excludes times he’s been sick, of course. He’s only human. But he’s not sick today. He’s tired. Downright exhausted, and with every right to be so. When he finally drags his eyes open, he looks around the room at all he accomplished. Gone are the barren walls and empty hangers. Every single piece of clothing he owns is now tidily put into its place. Trudging through his morning routine, Killian still manages to smile wide when he opens his closet to the wide array of clothes all readily available.

He’s nearly ready when he hears the horn outside, and he smiles with the knowledge that Emma is out there waiting for him. With careful movements, he pours the two mugs of coffee from his pot and rinses it out, making sure it’s turned off before heading out.

They’ve got a good deal starting, as far as he can tell. She brings the car, he brings the caffeine, and it’s almost as good as their walks.

He rushes to the car through the morning chill, happy to at least have his scarf and hat in place. She pushes the door open from her side when she sees he’s laden with coffee mugs pressed against his chest with the help of his left arm.

“Hi! You found some winter weather gear!”

“Aye, finally got around to a lot of things I��ve been meaning to work on,” he tells her as he settles in, shutting the door firmly against a cold blast of wind. “Brought you coffee.”

“Thanks,” she says, grabbing the mug from him and taking a sip. She reaches over, almost without thought and squeezes his wrist to emphasize her words.

Their banter on the way to his office is as it always is, but when she stops in front of NeverEndings, there’s care in the way she leans towards him. He meets her halfway, sighing into the simplicity of the kiss and wishing he could dawdle and kiss her in her car all day.

“I have my lunch hour totally free today,” she tells him when they finally do part. “Want me to swing by?”

“I have a meeting with Henry this morning. I’m not quite sure how long it’ll go, but stop in and we’ll see?”

She smiles and nods, waving once as he climbs from the car and shuts the door.

By the time Emma shows up at noon, he very clearly needs the respite. Henry is looking similarly worn down, obvious by the way the teenager is slumped in his chair, fiddling with a fidget cube that Killian keeps by his monitor for moments of extreme stress. That’s how Emma finds them, with Killian fighting off a yawn as he stares at his computer screen and Henry teetering on death by boredom.

“Whoa. Are you guys working or just slowly melting into your seats here?”

“I’m melting,” Henry says without moving anything that isn’t absolutely necessary.

“I’m working,” Killian adds, sitting up and stretching his neck to release the knots that are dying to form along his spine. “Darling, I’ve got just three more pages left on these edits. I’m so sorry. Would you like to stick around until we’ve finished?”

“Are you his girlfriend?”

Killian sputters for a second, unsure of how to introduce them in this situation.

“I’m Emma,” she says, saving him from anything else. “So, Killian tells me you come up for vacations?” After shifting around a couple items, Emma makes herself comfortable by perching on the edge of the desk.

“I did, back when…” Henry trails off, and Killian can see from this angle that Emma’s face falls into something that borders on understanding. He knows that she was raised by David’s mother, but he also knows that she uses a different surname than the Nolan household, so maybe there’s a kinship that he wasn’t even anticipating between them.

As they get lost in conversation, Killian desperately wants to keep paying attention, to absorb in the information that she hasn’t yet divulged to him, but the edits call back to him and before he knows it, he’s lost to the words in front of him once more.

Far longer than he would’ve liked to spend on it, he’s finally at the end of the passage and he saves the file with a noise of victory.

“Alright, lad. We’ve got it. That’s the whole thing with edits and comments now done.”

“Really?”

“Aye. The next part is all up to you. We’ll get a look at your schedule and set up another meeting in the middle of the month if you think you can handle that.”

The boy scoffs, accepting the folder and thumb drive that Killian hands over to him. “I can practically make these changes with my eyes closed at this point.”

“Yeah, yeah. Safe travels back to the city.”

With a final wave, Henry exits his office and Killian slumps down in his chair, peering around his monitor as Emma relaxes back in the chair that Henry just vacated.

“Thanks for your patience, love. How’s your day going?”

“Better than yours, it seems. I texted Ruby and she’ll have lunch waiting for us. You ready?”

“Would you carry me there?”

Emma laughs, music to his ears, and he hauls himself from his chair, taking her hand when she offers it.

Killian’s own lunches don’t usually last very long, but he feels he’s earned the right to relax for a little bit since the first round of edits is officially done, and his “quick” morning meeting just went two hours over his proposed time slot for it.

It’s not the end of the job, of course. There will still be more edits after Henry comes back with his changes. But that’s in two weeks, and until that time, Killian can start worrying about everything else with the book.

Not only are there design aspects to be considered, but they’ll have the company Christmas party in New York next month, which will act as some kind of debut for Henry. It’s the one time every year that all the employees and authors come together. In England, they’ll be hosting their own version of the event, but over here, it’s a chance to celebrate the creativity that’s come out of the whole year and for Robin to announce everything they’ll look forward to in the one to come.

While he always has an outfit ready for the black tie event, he’ll also be in charge of making sure Henry is taken care of. He’ll have to ask the lad whether he has a suitable outfit. Despite being the editor for such young talent, Killian’s primary anxiety rests over getting everything done and in a timely fashion. He decided after their first meeting that Henry was more mature than a good deal of the grown men and women he’s worked with before, but in the eyes of the world, he’s still a child, and he wants them all to see Henry like he does.

After the party will be the actual book release, and the press for it. And then there’s the worry over its success or failure, of course...

“Hey, Killian.”

“Hmm?”

Emma pulls him down for a quick kiss right on the lips. “You’ve gotta let your brain rest for a couple minutes. Coffee?”

He looks around, having missed the whole walk over to Granny’s, apparently. He sighs, letting Emma lead them up the path to the diner. “Yes, that would be helpful.”

“I might be wrong, but I feel like you’re freaking out a little bit.”

“You’re not wrong,” he admits to her. “I just want everything to be perfect. He’s so talented, but he’s young. And one wrong step could mean the book goes nowhere.”

“I don’t think you’re going to let that happen,” she says as she sheds her coat and gloves, setting them on the seat on her side of the booth before she slides in.

Their food and drinks are placed in front of them almost as soon as they’re settled in, and Ruby gives them both a signature smile before she zips away from the table to tend to the rest of the lunch rush.

“Told you I gave her the heads up,” Emma says, smiling at him and nodding to his food. “Dig in. How long until you have to be back?”

“I have a meeting with Robin at 2:30 to go over our progress from today,” Killian tells her, glancing at his watch and seeing that Emma’s hour is already almost up. “You want to get a box for that?”

“Nah. I already texted David and told him I would be back later than usual.”

“You’re simply a marvel, Swan. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” she says, smiling and propping her hand under her chin and getting comfortable with her hot chocolate, clearly settling in for some quality time.

-x-

It’s weird, Emma thinks, to be the source of comfort for someone. But judging by the way Killian relaxes almost as soon as she reassures him that he’s not going to fuck up is a pretty clear indication that he’s taken the words to heart. What’s weirder is that she likes the feeling, a lot, and wants to keep being able to do this for him whenever he needs it.

“Tell me something new today,” she urges, using the moment to take a bite of her food before he can turn it around on her. She watches carefully as he gulps, clearly already knowing what he wants to say but maybe afraid to speak the words.

“Promise you won’t let it scare you off?”

“I can try,” she says honestly, but there’s no fear sparking in her stomach, no panic in her lungs.

“Seeing you for the first time was the moment I finally felt like I was really here - that I’d really moved to a whole new country and started a brand new job. Your hair was down. It caught the sunlight first, and then your badge did. I couldn’t get over how you looked ethereal and yet so solidly real, and you were staring at me as if you were waiting for me.”

It’s her turn to swallow hard, hearing his admission, and knowing that the day he first saw her, she was waiting for him.

“Wow,” she finally manages. She picks at her forgotten food, the blush rising to her cheeks and the smile unable to be contained.

“I’ve been told I could write romance novels,” he says, and it’s the seriousness of his tone mixed with the smile in his eyes that finally makes Emma grin as it calms her nerves.

“I’d buy them,” she admits.

“I could write about a hapless Brit learning all about American culture from some blonde goddess in a red leather jacket.”

“And what adventures would they go on, Killian?”

“Epic battles, Swan. They couldn’t have just any boring old story. They would need action, fighting to find each other after being separated, and when it’s all said and done they would share True Love’s Kiss and she would turn him into a frog.” She is so obviously distracted by the way his hand has reached across the table and his fingers are rubbing over her knuckles, the deep timbre of his voice, that she almost misses the last part, but she hears it, and she chortles at the picture he’s painted.

She takes a deep breath, prepared to share something of her own. “I didn’t want to date you,” she admits. It’s like an anvil dropped in the middle of the table but if he just admitted all of that to her, maybe she can meet him halfway.

His face falls, and she hurries to continue.

“Not like that,” she says reassuringly, giving his hand a squeeze to emphasize. “I had this idea that you would just be this stranger I passed on the street every day and that would be enough. And then we started talking and I thought - okay, this is cool. We can be friends.” She laughs even thinking of it, at the sheer absurdity that she was so sure there would be nothing between them.

“You started it,” he says. “You kissed me first.”

“Yeah? So let’s talk about setting up that second date.”

“Well, I’ve finally finished moving into my flat, so I think it would be nice to have someone over to see it without towers of boxes invading each room.”

“I think that sounds like a good plan.”

There’s a thought that flashes through her mind that adds together one part Killian, one part dinner, one part alone, and it takes her a moment to pull her mind from the gutter once more. Especially when she thinks of how they were interrupted before he could come inside after their first date.

But more than for anything like that, Emma thinks about how nice it’ll be to have something closer to a quiet night - there won’t be any townspeople staring at them and taking notes to pass around to all their friends. No one will take notice of them leaving and speculate about what’s about to happen next. Plus, the idea of Killian cooking is quite appealing.

“Saturday?” she asks before they part ways after lunch is over.

“Saturday sounds perfect,” he reassures her. And while she’s already excited for it, she also knows they have a whole week of little moments like this to look forward to.

-x-

Chapter 7

#cs ff #cs ff au #captain swan #captain swan ff #sarah writes ff #csrt

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daggerzine · 3 years

Text

Celebrity Mixtape Party #1 with Steve Michener (Volcano Suns, Dumptruck, Big Dipper) Part 1

Steve (far left with Big Dipper)

Mixtapes. They're back! Or maybe they never went away? What happens when you make a mixtape for someone who MAKES music? And then they talk about that mixtape? Well, dear reader, let's find out in..

Okay! First song. Side A. So I'll give my impressions and then we can talk about the song. Okay? Then the reveal, when appropriate.

Sexy

Thanks for this tape, Matthew, I've really been enjoying it. However, I gotta say the first song is my least favorite.

What is it pray tell

I don't know but I usually love that style of song. Very Love/Byrds-y but there was something cloying about that hook of 'Let's Get Together'

Oh yes. Justin Trouble.

Can't tell if it's authentic 60's pop or revival

Early '80s. He was friends with Johnny Thunders.New York City area guy

Never heard of him but I'm not inspired to search him up. Too many words.

Aw man he's just riffing

Anything you wanna say in his defense?

I mean I could. I think that song and the whole record is genius. To me it's the very essence of rock and roll.

Okay, maybe that's just one song that I wouldn't like. I'll check it out. I know you love your 60s stuff but to me it's just too twee. But if you were using this as a "courtship tape", the relationship is over.

Since we can't "get together" on that song?

Courtship tape. I think they were called love mixes back in the day my friend.

I'm older than you. We used to bring them and play them in the parlor. So this second song is right up my Alley. Great guitar sound, great drummer. I love that it's poppy but it takes a minor key/dissonant turn when he sings the tagline 'Solid Gold'. Kind of a Fall vibe to that hook.

So what is that second song?

Boston band....Real Kids...1974 demo...EARLY REAL KIDS

I knew you'd get a Real Kids song on there but that is very 'Unreal' real kids. Sounds like they were way ahead of their time

Yeah. That song is unhinged. Nothing twee about it.

Amazing band. I would have maybe guessed that but that chorus is so left field. If I knew about that song back then, I would have had the band cover it. Real Kids sounding like the Fall. They should have been as big as the Ramones. Worse drug and ego problems I guess.

To me it sounds like The Dolls. A little bit of Glam in there.

I saw them a few times at the Rat. Always a reliable live band. I hear the 60's thing in there but that turnaround into the chorus is at least 5 years ahead of its time. I need to hear more of those demos.

It's on vinyl.

Next song- One thing that I know about you is that you love your 60s stuff. This sounds like an authentic acid rock band. Roky?

I don't have the tracklist

Ah, okay. It's by Girl Trouble-"Storm Warning'. Don't know them but I love the song.

The pride of Bellingham

Kind of like the Seeds meet Nick Cave. What year?

1993 on Empty

Love the sax and guitar interplay at the end. Wow. I would have placed that in 1965

Yeah except for the production. I think he's one of the Great rock and roll vocalists of the '90s

Yeah, great singer. Are they still around or mutate into something else?

Kurt Kendall. No, I don't think they really play around much anymore. There was a reunion show not too long ago but I missed it.

Great stuff, I'll check it out. Next song? Okay, this one I knew from the first note--the great NRBQ. The greatest rock and roll band ever, at least in this incarnation.

Green Lights?

Yes.

I saw them around this time with the WW Horns, opening for Thorogood.

Another great vocalist

I didn't appreciate them back then cuz I was too into the alternative scene (tho still loved GT) but when I saw them in the 80's I was amazed.

This is a band that should have played the bar band in every '80s movie ever made

Exactly. they were my template for 'a band'

That's Joey singing that one? favorite bass player ever, favorite drummer ever.

I'm not entirely sure what that guitar is in the solo. Sounds almost like a pedal steel or something.

Big Al could make anything sound like anything. Genius band. Shoulda been huge.

The YouTube comments say Joey.

Yeah, Joey wrote the hits. Like most bass players.

Lol. The album is called nrbq at Yankee stadium and it's funny because the picture shows an empty Yankee stadium with them far away in the bleachers...a play on words...clever

I see.

I'll explain humor to you another time.

Make me a 'humor' mixtape

Okay next song

The 5th song on side A is called Buried Alive. A 3 chord slab of brilliance. Sounds like another Boston Band. More Real Kids?

Hmmm

Should I peek?

It could be Avenged Sevenfold. Yes peek.

Oh no, it's the Nervous Eaters! Born to Die. I thought he was singing Buried Alive.

Ahhh!!

I knew it was Boston, can't believe I missed the Eaters. Loved that band.

Another Boston band you didn't ID! You are 0 for 2

I wrote down it was "the Lyres without keyboards" so I get half credit.

Okay so one of the cool things about this band is it had one of the Paley Brothers. Who never did anything this "heavy" outside of this band?

I had their singles and saw them live a few times. They were great. Just Head is a classic.

The major label debut was a bit of a disaster: slick production, terrible cover art. I swore that I'd never let that happen to any band that I was in.

This song for some reason reminds me of Judas Priest.

I thought Saints at first but Priest would work

Next song?

This is one that I will probably miss too. Sounds VERY familiar and my first guess is Rockpile/Brinsley Schwarz. "I'll have another drink and then I tried to crawl out the door.."

"I never did know a thing about it." It's got that Nick Lowe/Dave Edmunds vibe.

Take a peek

Status Quo-Lies

Ah yes

Wow, I don't think of SQ sounding like this. This is pub rock, I thought they were harder

Very boogie

Don't you get the Rockpile thing tho?

Oh absolutely

Great song. I'd cover this. Was it a hit?

That status quo song is from 1980. I think so. They did it on Top of the Pops

Good. I'd be depressed if a song that great didn't get an audience.

Agreed

Next?

Yes

I also don't know this and I'm not sure what the hook is but it sounds like what I imagine the Muffs sound like. Be my baby.? Sneering female vocals, 3 chords, loud guitars.

Fastbacks - Read my Letters

Yeah, another band I completely missed out on. From the PNW?

Seattle

I've seen them quite a few times and they were always amazing. Big fan.

I'm sorry I missed them live. I don't care much for this song but I'll bet it sounded good in a sweaty club.

Did you like the Muffs?

Not really. I mean I respect them a lot but they never resonated with me. I think Kurt Bloch is a great lyricist. And I love that he didn't sing his own lyrics.

Wait, that was a guy singing?

No. The guitar player Kurt wrote the lyrics for most of their songs.

Got it. So he left them to join YFF?

He did both simultaneously. Kim Warnick is the singer and bass player.

Too talented.

Definitely.

I saw the Fellows quite a few times also.

They opened for us in Seattle in 1990. I loved them but, as an east coaster, had never seen them.

Also amazing one of my favorites. During that time that both the Fastbacks and the Young Fresh Fellows were active it made me envy Seattle because Portland didn't have bands like those bands.

This is a different convo, but Seattle is a much more rockin town than Portland.

Full disclosure in the '90s I was not a fan of Portland's music scene. But I did like Hazel.

They were so cute!

Alright, let's not get distracted! Next song I recognized easily , though I may not have a few years ago. This is Sparks - Something For The Girl Who Has Everything. Brilliant band but one that I missed out on until recently

You know I never introduced you at the beginning of all this. Dear readers, I am discussing a mixtape with our esteemed guest Steve Michener from Skid Row.

Skid Row UK, legally. Not to be confused with those dorks from Hollyweird. Michael Cudahy was my roommate back in the day and he was way into them. I could never get past the vocals.Recently though, I have come to appreciate them and now I am a big fan.

I love the vocals. It's its own thing. Who is this Michael you speak of?

Michael was in Christmas at the time and then started Combustible Edison. Now he does movie soundtracks.

Have you ever seen the video of Ron Mael singing karaoke to a Sparks song?

No, I'll google it.

Next song?

Well, I didn't recognize the song itself but it's hard to miss the unique guitar sound of The Wedding Present-The Boy Can Wait

Fastest wrist in the west

Trademark double strum. They're one of those bands that I just love the sound of but never bought any records.

That's a Peel session by the way.

They were around last year but I failed to attend.

I like the lyrics. They're clever. Kind of misanthropic but not in a Morrissey way. More humorous.

I'm not a lyric guy but I do love a good Morrisey couplet

The dude could pen a tune

Stephen I mean

Moz

The Moz

Himself.

He should pull a Prince and just change his name to Himself

Next song is one that you would never get past me, tho I'm 0-2 with Boston bands before this. Heading into a Boston binge here.

Ok. Just another band out of Boston

I was the world's biggest Peter Dayton fan for years. I moved to Boston the week that LaPeste broke up so I never got to see them. So I made up for that by seeing every PD gig for years. 'She's a Girl' by LaPeste, probably one of the best bands out of Boston ever.

I like how evil La Peste sound. They sound like they carried shivs.

It means "the pest"

Perfect

"la" is "the" in french

Waow

I don't know if you knew that. Anyway, this must have been an Ocasek demo? Sounds like they were trying to go pop. I had a live tape of them from the rock and roll rumble in 1979 that I wore out. Just a great pop punk band. Next song is also LaPeste- Die in My Sleep.Ric got involved with them later in their career and produced some demos. Or maybe it was Greg Hawkes. But Ocasek worked with him solo for a few years. Dayton's EP, which came out the same time as Panorama by the Cars. It's a fun record.Better off Dead is an amazing single.

I'll check out solo Dayton.

Jim Janota on bass. I think he was in some of those early boston punk bands

But Ric was the producer guy then . Alan Vega etc

Yeah, Ocasek was cool. He had Dayton's band open for The Cars at the Boston Garden. Big supporter of smaller bands.

Next two songs had me stumped. I just wrote 'Sex Pistols'.

I would never put a sex pistols song on anything ever. But I do love a lot of things that Cook and Jones were on later

This just has a Pistols energy and sneer. Hey Hey! Hey Hey!

Hmm

3 chords, English. Fall-like but harder.

Not ringing any bells

Ha! I looked at the list--Naked Raygun-Roller Queen.

Yes

"trying" to be british

Nooo

I tuned this band out early. Not my cup of tea.

I love the Raygun. Midwest thing

Just like Soul Asylum. I was (and remain) a judgemental asshole when it comes to music.

Hard. Arty. Humorous.

I lump them together. Prejudice. But this is why I like the idea of listening to the tape blind.

Throb Throb is fantastic

It can blow up my preconceived notions or reinforce them. I know they were hugely popular in the scene and it's probably my loss that I didn't explore their stuff. I was probably reacting negatively to the Big Black thing. Lots of competition and jealousy-fuelled listening bias.

Eh no biggy. I never really liked Big Black. To me they were great in theory but not in practice.

I prefer Shellac

Great band

But i think BD covered 'Bazooka Joe'. Not my idea.

There was another Chicago band from that time that I like a lot called Breaking Circus.

Yes, I liked Breaking Circus. We played with them.

Yay

Next song. 60s sounding psychedelia

Didn't recognize it, but liked it. reverby guitar,

Hmm

La Luz- I Want to Be Alone. Cool sound. What's their story?

Ah. Seattle. Then moved to LA. 4 women. On Hardly Art (label). Started in 2012. They have three lps. Saw them at The Aladdin.

Short but sweet. I'll check them out.

Very very good band

I like good bands

No bad songs. They were VERY GOOD live. Jealous of the drummer's speed and dexterity. They play with a lot of feeling.

If we ever get to see live music again, I'll check them out.

You need to.

Next song is a classic Boston number called 'No Place Like Home' by The Neighborhoods. Such a great power pop song. B-side to Prettiest Girl, which was probably the biggest indie single of the time in Boston. That and Academy Fight Song. Both on Ace of Hearts records

Oh really? Nice that I got airplay in Boston. I mean it. I didn't get any airplay in Boston

Yes, it was huge! (sorry about your lack of airplay) top song on WBCN, the local rock station. They should have been huge-they had it all. Cute guys, great songs, amazing live show. I woulda bet on them

Despite looking like a reggae album I've read good reviews with their first LP. The thing with a lot of these bands is they're from a time when there were regional scenes period and if they didn't make the jump to Major label then a lot of what they were about might have been lost on people outside of their scene

Honestly, I don't remember that LP at all. Maybe I had dropped them and moved onto hipper stuff. They were kind of a high school crush for me. They got progressively more hard rock as time went on. Yes, probably a common theme with local bands. Some focused on getting a 'deal' and making it big. Thank god for labels like Homestead, who gave smaller bands a chance to make mistakes and grow

If you had any anecdotes about any of these guys share away.

Anecdotes? I do

'dote away

Dave and Lee worked at Harrington's Liquor, the biggest booze shop in Allston and were always in there when I went to buy cheap vodka. Then, one day, they were fired. Word was that they tried to lift some expensive champagne from the shop to celebrate a record release party or something. They were both dating members of Salem 66 at the time and Dave married Judy. They were very nice guys.

Lee?

Lee Harrington, Beth's brother was their bassist in the late 80's. Beth Harrington was in Jonathan's band.

That's a good anecdote.

Jonathan?

Richman

Oh I thought I recognized her voice from Jonathan Richmond records. She was a backup singer. She had kind of a classically trained sounding voice

Yes, her and Ellie Marshall. Beth married my old roommate, whose girlfriend when I knew him, left him for Steve Forbert.

Ellie Marshall was related to who?

Something related to Paley Bros. It'll come to me. Barry Marshall.

The next song is the Office Supply song. Swivel Chair. I don't recognize the song but it's gotta be something like Fountains of Wayne or Weezer.

Nothing Painted Blue

Oops. Hope they aren't insulted! I kinda knew of NPB but obviously didn't get into their stuff. Sounds like a certain pop band from Boston in the late 80s. Where were they from?

Franklin Bruno. Great songwriter in my opinion. Great band. LA

Oh, I know Franklin. Of course. I confuse them with that band from Boise

Franklin bears a slight passing resemblance to Bill? Cool that you know Franklin.

Well, on FB at least. Very nice guy. He's probably gonna unfriend me if he reads this.

I can edit it out. Celebrity mixtapes is about bringing people together, not about fighting.

No, it's fine. It's part of the process. I'll take my lumps.

I just thought it was a little bit of a novelty song.

I just think it's adorably nebbishy

Not that we didn't veer close to that sometimes. It's a risk when you are trying to write songs that have humor in them.

Singing about office supplies. One of my favorite things about Big Dipper is you guys never crossed over into parody even though you were slyly funny.

Yeah, it def sounds like something I would write. I was an office supply nerd.

Maybe I sensed that. Dilbert Rock

Thanks. It's a fine line between clever and stupid, as the Tap says. Anyway, super catchy but maybe a little too clever for me.

NEXT!

Next song has to be Scrawl. Apple of his Eye.

Nope

Very Gang of Four with female vocals.

I did like Scrawl back in the day though. Bratmobile-Queenie.

Ah, well they should write a check to Sue and Marcy. Sounds like early Scrawl. Catchy song but a little derivative to my ears.

Yeah Scrawl predates the Bratmobile.By a few years.

You could steal from worse.

True

Scrawl were an amazing band.

Pride of Columbus

Really had the goods live and on record.

Never saw them live unfortunately.I always thought they were on Homestead but it turns out no.

You had your Homestead goggles on.

"I like everything that comes out on Homestead..."

Well that was me back then too

Last song on side A. Permanent Wave. No idea who it is, a short, catchy, new wave song. Mo-dettes?

I do like the Mo-Dettes but no.

Oh Ok. From Athens

Ah! i had their single, was this on it?

Michael Stipe's sister

Sister of Stipe

Matthew Sweet was in the band for a minute too, later on.

I bought it, I think, cuz I thought I could resell it when rem got famous. Retirement investment

I think the single and the lp are both amazing

Kind of twee, to revisit a theme

The lp is not as twee

That song sounds a little thin

I like the production. it sounds live.

I see that. Okay, I've gotta run. This was fun.

Ok. Thanks for doing it.

https://www.mixcloud.com/matthewkenneth9/steve-michener-mix-pt-1/?fbclid=IwAR2hhMS8KXo51QjlpJ__ANfdmKY3Ux7vRyIqHHOxGfY_UK4H6tz6vIXyaxE

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zoekeating · 4 years

Text

Stay well, meanwhile here’s a video

Dear Listeners,

Gosh, it’s now going on 7 weeks of social-distancing for my son and I. Bonkers! I could never have imagined any of this. How are you coping?

The beginning weeks were rocky for both of us. Like a lot of you, I’m caring for a young person who’s world has also been turned upside down (again) and his needs can easily fill up my entire day. But I think an equilibrium of sorts has set in the last couple of weeks. I'm even escaping into my spare bedroom studio for an hour every now and then to write music. We love not getting up in the mornings until we are ready and every day there is breakfast and second breakfast. We are watching the Great British Bake Off in the evenings and maybe we will come up with something to do with the rutabagas in the weekly farm box.

I do wish Spring would hurry up and get to Vermont, because damn, it's still cold and occasionally snowing. Maybe Spring is on lockdown too. I am thankful that we have a cozy place to be and grateful to everyone who is working out there so that we can stay in. Like you, I’m anxious about the future but…one day at a time.

Before all this I had spent several months working on the score to The Edge of All We Know, a documentary about the Event Horizon Telescope. It was set to premiere in Copenhagen last month but of course the film festival was canceled. As soon as I have news about where you can see it, I will let you know. I left on tour the day after the score was done and was lucky to squeeze in 5 concerts before the world shut down.

As you’ve probably guessed, my May concerts have been postponed or canceled. There are still some opportunities to hear me though:

The Bang on a Can Marathon in NYC on May 1, 2, 3 is not happening in person…but 40 artists are participating in a livestream, me included, on May 3 from 3pm to 9pm.

Bang on a Can Marathon: May 3, 3pm EST

No one really knows what the future holds for live concerts right now but fingers crossed. For now my remaining May concerts have been rescheduled to the end of August:

- Boulder Chautauqua August 28. - Aladdin Theater n Portland August 30. - Cedar Cultural Center concert in Minneapolis Sept 1

(Also, stay tuned for a possible Chicago concert on Sept 2) All existing tickets will be honored and please contact the venues for refunds.

I was going to perform at Maria Popova’s amazing Universe in Verse on April 18th. Maria has managed to get many involved to record their bit for a streamed version. So last week I recorded something for a poem by Rebecca Elson and read by astrophysicist Janna Levin. I also, somehow, after Alex went to bed one night, wrote a short piece to go with a poem and reading by Marie Howe. Not really sure how I did that, or if it’s replicable but it did give me hope that maybe some small amount of creative work is possible while Pandemic Parenting. I do feel that much of my life I’ve been making limoncello out of lemons, so let’s see if I can make some more. You can watch the 2020 Universe in Verse on April 25 EST at 4:30pm, after which it will disappear.

Universe in Verse: April 25, 4:30pm EST

I will do my own livestream at some point, maybe a throwback to the ambient brunches we used to host years ago in San Francisco. Once I am successful at getting all those tracks of cello to live-mix themselves so that I have something worth listening to, I will let you know. ;-) To tide you over until then, here is a video from my performance at Kings Place in London last fall, shot beautifully by Michael Lebor with help from Sedge Thomson: Possible (live version), at Kings Place

If you want to download the track you can find it HERE

Thank you for listening and for making my career possible to begin with and… huge massive thanks to every single one of you who is out there, keeping the world together so that we can stay inside. Stay well.

Celloly yours, Zoë

(photo by Gabrielle Motola)

#possible cello livelooping

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let-it-raines · 4 years

Text

Catch Me If You Can (30/40)

298 days. That’s how long Killian Jones was away from a baseball field. It’s less than a year, only part of a season for him, but it might as well have lasted a decade as he alternated between physical therapy and spending an excessive amount of time sitting on his couch.

But then he came back and won the World Series.

It’s something no one saw coming, and it’s certainly not something anyone who knows about his arm would predict. Now it’s a new season with new possibilities, and anything could happen. On-field reporter Emma Swan will be there to cover it all even if she is not his biggest fan right now.

Asking her out live on-air will do that.

Rating: Mature

a/n: I am not a fan of the fact that there are only 10 chapters left. Like, not at all. Where did all of this time go? How are we at this point in the story? I feel like I was just writing it!

Anyway, it seems fitting that this chapter posts in a week where a lot of us have gone home to see family because Killian is going home with Emma to meet Ruth😘 Thanks to you all for being you and thanks to @resident-of-storybrooke for reading these words for me and checking my facts!

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-/-

“Did you know that it’s Friday the thirteenth and a full moon?”

“Thank you, Alec Trebek.”

“No, seriously. That’s what it says on my phone.”

“Love, I know the date.”

“But did you know about the moon thing?”

“I did,” Killian sighs, picking his suitcase up off of the security belt and placing it on the ground while Emma grabs her sneakers. “I read about it the other day, and I am prepared for all of the haunted werewolves to come out to play.”

“Shut up,” Emma laughs before she plops herself down on a bench to tie her shoes.

It’s a little past four thirty in the morning, and JFK is nearly empty of anyone who isn’t traveling in some kind of suit. He and Emma are surrounded by people in black blazers and tailored trousers only traveling with a sleek black suitcase and their briefcase. He and Emma, meanwhile, are both in joggers with t-shirts on (Emma has on his Vandy sweatshirt over hers) and their hair tucked underneath baseball caps.

Emma got in from Detroit late last night, only taking five minutes to kiss him hello and take a quick shower before collapsing on his bed on top of the covers. The only flight they could get so last minute that wasn’t an exuberant amount of money is at the ungodly hour of six in the morning, so Killian insisted that she just stay at his place last night so that they could leave from the same place and save time. Considering they woke up ten minutes before their Uber arrived and could barely brush their teeth before they left, that didn’t exactly work in the whole saving time department.

It doesn’t help that Emma has pretty much been deadweight this entire morning until she started to wake up right before they went through security.

He, on the other hand, is wide awake. Nervous jitters run through his body, his stomach twisting in knots, and for someone who doesn’t get nervous for many things other than baseball, Killian is pretty much a wreck when it comes to meeting Emma’s family. Ruth is the last one, the final piece of the puzzle, and as intimidating as David was to meet, his mother might outrank her.

Killian both wants to spend the entire weekend sucking up to her and thanking her for taking Emma in and giving her the love she’s never had but has always deserved, but that could prove to be a bit much.

Then again, if Ruth hadn’t taken Emma in thirteen years ago, Emma would have never met David. If Emma hadn’t met David, David would have never taken her to the baseball game that truly allowed Emma to fall in love with sports. And if Emma hadn’t done that, he doubts she’d have ever gotten into broadcasting and found her passion there that makes her so damn happy.

The two of them also would never have met, and that thought sends a shiver down his spine.

It’s funny how such little things can change absolutely everything.

Everything.

So, yeah, Killian is most definitely a little nervous to meet Ruth.

“You want to go find some coffee, Swan?” Killian asks Emma as he props his foot up to tie his own sneaker. “I think the two of us are in some desperate need of caffeine.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I don’t think we’ll be able to find a coffee shop in an airport. There are never any coffee places here.”

“I don’t appreciate all of this sarcasm so early this morning.”

She pokes his stomach. “You’re the one who woke me up.”

“We’re going home to meet your family.”

“I don’t see your point.”

“You should.”

“Well,” Emma huffs, standing up and pulling up her pants so that he sees a flash of tanned skin on her stomach, “you should. Onto coffee we go.”

They both grab onto their bags and start walking down the terminal, passing gate after gate and store after store, but everything is black with the lights turned off and bars pulled over the stores. Nothing is open, not even the convenience stores, and the moment Emma realizes this, she stops walking and buries her face in his shoulder.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

“There are vending machines,” he soothes. “I think they have coffee.”

“But it’s gross coffee,” she wines before wrapping her arms around his stomach. At first, Killian thinks that she’s being affectionate, but then he realizes that she’s using him so that she doesn’t have to stand on her own. He’s not sure he minds either way. “I need real coffee, and I need it in an IV.”

“Okay, Lorelai Gilmore.”

Emma laughs into his shoulder, the vibrations working through his shoulder. “You’re learning. I’m so proud, babe.”

“I might have watched an episode or two.”

Emma’s head pops up then, the bill of her cap hitting him in the chin. “When?”

“While you were gone. It was on Netflix, and it just kind of happened.”

“Good choice, twenty-nine. Good choice.” Emma’s lips brush against the corner of his jaw, and he tugs her a little closer as his hand runs up and down her back while she presses up on her toes to make contact with his lips. “I need a diet coke or something, and then when the stores open, I’m buying the biggest damn cup of coffee in this entire airport.”

“Whatever your heart desires.”

-/-

The flight is only an hour and a half, Emma sleeps the entire time despite them getting her the biggest damn cup of coffee in the airport right before they boarded, and Killian spends his time answering emails before closing out the app so that he won’t see anything else work-related for this entire weekend. It’s a conscious decision, one he’s happy to make, and it’s almost refreshing to know that he doesn’t have anything to worry about for at least a few days.

Well, anything to worry about except for Ruth Nolan and making sure that he can impress her.

-/-

The taxi they get from the airport takes them directly to Ruth’s house, so Emma doesn’t get much time to show him around, only pointing out a few landmarks. They pass the minor league baseball stadium here, the Portland Sea Dogs, and Emma tells him that she’s never actually been despite having such easy access. She was too caught up in everything having to do with New York and getting there that she never really thought about it. He teases her and tells her they’ll have to go to a game, but Emma turns him down by saying that she needs a break from baseball.

He does too.

So that’ll probably be knocked off the itinerary that Killian is sure Mary Margaret has made. Luckily, though, she and David won’t be here until early evening since they both had to be at work and school for half a day, so they’re pretty much free to do whatever they want with Ruth today.

He’s still slightly reeling from his injury and their fight and everything that came from that. He’s not angry or upset, but this is all still such an adjustment. He should be playing. He shouldn’t be here, but it’s his own damn fault that he is. He screwed up on so many levels, and owning up to it all has been a tough pill to swallow.

Hurting the people he loved nearly killed him, and he doesn’t want anyone to hurt because of him ever again.

In the blink of a bleary eye, they’re pulling up to a quaint two-story Victorian home with brown and white details and bright green bushes lining the brick-paved walkway to the front door. It’s a home, undoubtedly, one much the same as all of the ones in the city and yet entirely different in that he can see vibrant green grass and flushed trees that spread out all over the neighborhood. It reminds him of growing up in Ohio, even if they were not the ones to have the spaciously fenced-in backyard, and a little fluttering of his heart takes place as Killian takes it all in.

He’s always kind of wanted a place like this – away from everything.

“So, this is the place?”

“This is the place.”

“It’s nice.”

“Yeah, I’ve always thought so.” Emma hikes her bag up a little higher on her shoulder and turns to look at him, trepidation written across her face. “We can still turn around if you want to. There are hotels around here.”

“We’re going inside, love.” He leans down and quickly brushes his lips over hers. She tastes strongly of coffee just from the little taste that he got. He’d like to kiss her more, to have the privacy of the hotel so he can show her just how much he’s missed her the past few days of her being gone, but they’re not doing that. “Besides, I believe I just saw Ruth peeking her head through the window looking at us, so it’s too late to turn around now.”

“Yeah,” Emma sighs, “I guess it is.”

Emma steps forward and begins moving up the path, Killian following right behind her, and Emma barely gets a chance to knock on the door before it’s swinging open and Ruth is lunging forward to practically smother Emma with a hug.

Damn. Ruth Nolan is a force of nature.

Then again, she was already for being a single mom most of her life and still taking in foster children, especially one as stubborn as Emma. He can’t even begin to imagine.

He fully intends on finding out this weekend. There are a million questions running around in his mind.

“Oh,” Ruth coos, shaking Emma in her embrace. A dog escapes the front door and comes to sniff at Killian’s feet. This must be Wilby. “I have missed you so much. I think I’m going to have to move to New York so I can see you more often. Do you have room in that apartment of yours?”

“Only if the couch is comfortable for you.”

“I think it may kill my back.”

“No, it’ll definitely kill your back. I have no doubt. It kills my back. Killian’s couch is super comfortable, though.”

“Well, I hardly know the man. I don’t think it would be appropriate for me to sleep over in his apartment.”

“Who cares about proper, love?” Killian teases. “I would be remiss to not let a beautiful woman sleep over at my apartment.”

The words slip out of his mouth before he’s able to stop them, and he immediately regrets them. Ruth may not be Emma’s mom, the title something that Emma still struggles with no matter how much she loves Ruth, but she’s very much a mother figure. Yet here he is spewing words that pretty much scream in her face that he doesn’t care about proper and has been fucking Emma for months now. What a smooth start.

The pit in his stomach becomes a heavy, solid weight, one that’s going to have him breaking the wood of the wraparound front porch.

Shit.

But then Ruth is leaning her head back in laughter, her eyes shining brightly as her hair falls off of her shoulders, and that weight lessens a little bit.

“I’m not much of one for proper either,” Ruth says with laughter still on her lips. She releases Emma and steps toward him, wrapping him in a hug as well, even if this one isn’t quite as smothering. It likely helps that he’s larger than Emma. “Hello, sweetie. SoSo, you’re the infamous Killian Jones I’ve been hearing about?”

“From Emma?”

“No, my grandson. He loves you. I think he was probably more devastated about your arm than Emma was.”

“How did you know I was devastated?”

Ruth pulls back from him to look at Emma. “Intuition told me that you’d be upset over the fact that your boyfriend is injured. Mary Margaret gave me all of the other details.”

Emma’s eyes roll. “Of course she did.”

“You know she can’t keep a secret.”

Killian looks over to Emma to see what she’s got to say, thinking that this first meeting is going rather smoothly, but then Ruth’s eyes are snapping back to him and looking him up and down in a way that has him feeling rather naked under her scrutiny.

Obviously, it was wishful thinking for him to assume he was quite out of the woods.

“You’re much more handsome in person than on TV.”

“Thanks,” Killian laughs awkwardly as he reaches up to scratch behind his ear. “I, uh, appreciate that.”

Emma looks over to him with raised brows that are pinched together, probably wondering when he turned into a stumbling fool instead of someone who can charm anyone, and all he can do is shrug is shoulders at her. She shrugs back before squatting down on the porch to scratch behind the dog’s ears.

“Have you eaten breakfast yet, Ruth?” Emma asks, obviously trying to save him. “We’ve had coffee but not food, and we’d love to take you out to breakfast.”

Ruth waves her away. “Nonsense. I’ll cook breakfast for all of us.”

“You really don’t have to do that, Mrs. Nolan.”

She smiles at him. “It’s Ruth, and yes I do. I hear you’re quite the baker, so you can help.”

“Well, who told you that?”

“Mary Margaret. She’s where I get all of my information, don’t you know? Emma and David don’t give me nearly enough.”

“You know, Ruth,” Killian smiles, “I have heard a little bit about the two of them not sharing a lot of information. You practically have to drag it out of them. I would never do such a thing as keeping secrets.”

Emma scoffs but there’s that loving, playful smile. “Too soon, twenty-nine. Too soon.”

Ruth guides them inside and sends Emma off to take their bags to her old room. Killian raises his brow in question to make sure it’s okay for them to share a room, and Emma simply rolls her eyes before taking both of their bags up the stairs while Ruth ushers him into the living room.

It’s just as homey as the outside. Everything is covered in warm colors from the deep brown of the leather couch to the inviting green of the wall. Two windows sit on either side of the stone fireplace where the television is mounted, and that’s when Killian spots the myriad of picture frames on the mantel, as well as on the bookshelf in the corner of the room.

This is exactly what he’s been so excited about.

(Besides getting to spend a weekend away with Emma where she spent the last of her teenager years.)

There are a few photos of David as a child, ones of him alone and then ones of him with both of his parents. Most of them, however, everyone is a tad bit older. Killian knows that it’s so Emma can be included in all of the photos, and his heart swells a bit at the thought of Ruth being that thoughtful so that Emma doesn’t have to feel left out in any way.

A picture of David, Mary Margaret, and Emma sits in the middle of the mantle. David and Mary Margaret look much the same, if not younger than they look now, but with different hairstyles. Killian makes a mental note to tease David about his shoulder-length hair. Emma, though, is definitely a teenager here. Her face is rounder, far less angled, and he can see the tepidness of her smile as she leans into David in the picture.

“Are you looking at how cute I am?” Emma questions as she walks into the room.

Killian turns to look at her and at the shy smile on her face now, and he opens up his arm to let her walk into him so that her arm can wrap around his back while her head rests on his shoulder.

“How old are you here, love?”

“Um, that’s a question I don’t know the answer to.”

“Sixteen,” Ruth supplies, and Killian doesn’t miss the way she’s smiling at the two of them standing there. “That’s from Thanksgiving. Emma still wasn’t too sure about us.”

“I’m still not.”

Killian squeezes her hip. “Liar.”

“Nope, I’m serious. You’ve only just met Ruth, so I don’t think you can judge her character yet.”

“Oh no, darling, I can. She’s promised to tell me stories about you while we cook breakfast, and that’s good enough for me to love her forever.”

Emma groans and dips her head down. “Just let me sulk, and I’ll come to the kitchen when breakfast is ready.”

“Just like when you were a teenager,” Ruth teases.

The morning is mostly spent in the kitchen where they eat waffles and bacon, which is definitely not on his diet but he’s not playing right now anyways, and he gets to listen to Ruth tease Emma all about what she was like as a teenager. Emma’s cheeks are painted red, the embarrassment very clearly there, but she takes it like a champ and smiles and laughs along even when Ruth tells a story about Emma nearly breaking her arm while trying to sneak back into the house after meeting a guy who she wasn’t supposed to be meeting.

“Not my finest moment,” Emma admits as she bites into a piece of bacon. “And definitely not my finest boyfriend.”

The stories continue, and as the day passes on, Killian’s stomach hurts from all of the laughter. Everything about his time here just seems so…perfect. And he knows that there is no such thing as perfect, but the crisp breeze of the air with the sunshine filtering through the leaves of the trees tells him otherwise as the two of them help Ruth with some of her yardwork. Of course, he hasn’t done yardwork in over a decade, so he’s a little rusty. Ruth and Emma make sure to point that out to him every time he cuts a shrub in the wrong way or manages to screw up turning on the lawnmower.

It was complicated, okay?

And Killian definitely wasn’t aware that this is how they’d be spending the first part of their afternoon. It was not at all mentioned in Emma’s pitch of asking him to come here.

Not that he would have ever said no to helping. It’s good to feel useful when he’s been feeling a little useless lately no matter how well he thinks that he’s handling his injury layoff.

It’s decidedly different than the first time around. It likely helps that the injury isn’t as serious and that Killian knows that the end of it is in sight, even if there’s still bits of uncertainty that no one can answer and predict for him. Yet, it also has everything to do with the fact that the people closest to him know exactly what’s going on instead of him letting it all fester inside of him. Honesty is the better policy this time, even if his hand was the slightest bit forced.

Watching Emma easily guide him through Old Port with a beatific smile on her face may help as well.

No, it definitely helps.

She’s such a force of light in his life, even if she doesn’t like admitting that sometimes, but the fact almost seems reinforced after having been apart from her and facing the thoughts of what his life may be like without her in it outside of being someone who he works with.

Frankly, it would be kind of dim. She’s integrated herself so easily into every aspect of his daily routine, and while at first, he thought it really only had to do with her clothes in his closet and her shampoo bottles littering his shower, it’s more in the way that he’ll be sitting with Elsa and look over to see her texting Emma or the way that whenever he wakes up in the morning and she’s not in bed with him, his first thought is to check his phone for a text from her. It’s ridiculous and yet also…not.

She annoys him more than anything or anyone in the world, but he also loves her more than anything. It’s easy in a way that it’s never been before, and Killian wonders if this feeling of fluttering deep in his belly is what he was missing in the past.

They grab a late lunch at a quaint little seafood place, one he can tell is family-owned simply from the atmosphere, and instead of sitting inside, they settle down at one of the umbrella-covered tables outside so that they can have a view of the ocean with the salt-water breeze wafting over them.

He’s missed the water.

Of course, he’s been around it living in Manhattan and traveling to several places around the country that are surrounded by water. Hell, he’s even been back in it in the three years since the accident with Liam. But it’s been a long damn time since he’s sat and simply enjoyed getting to spend time near the water.

During the off-season, he and Emma are going somewhere that’s surrounded by water for at least a week, and they’re not going to let any outside distractions get to them. It’s making plans for the future, and that’s all that he wants right now.

(Some would call it baseball mating season, and while he doesn’t plan on them reproducing anytime soon, they can sure as hell practice.)

They get a call that David and Mary Margaret are nearly there when Emma is showing him some of the lighthouses while using a ridiculous voice that she calls her “tour guide” voice, so they quickly gather their things and start walking back to Ruth’s car since she absolutely cannot wait to see the rest of her family and refuses to have them be at her house before she can get back to her house.

David and Mary Margaret get there first because they are apparently the fastest drivers on the planet today.

And Leo practically tackles Ruth in all of his ten-year-old glory when he sees her.

That’s how Addy and Lucy are with Elsa’s parents too, and Killian imagines that being a grandparent is a hell of a lot of fun since you aren’t in charge of molding a little person into a functioning human being. You just have to give them candy and all of the things their parents don’t want them to have.

Or, at least, that’s what he thinks Ruth does.

(That’s what he does as an uncle and wishes his mom could have done as a grandmother.)

They all eat takeout dinner together from an Italian place that Emma and David swear by, and while it’s certainly not the best thing he’s ever had to eat, it’s pretty damn good. Then again, he’s had so much to eat today that his stomach very well may explode soon. He’ll have to get up and go for a jog in the morning.

But right now, it’s a little past ten at night, he’s been up for over eighteen hours, and all he really wants is to sleep. His body is dragging enough that he imagines he’ll have no trouble falling into a slumber as soon as his head hits the pillow.

He’s wrong.

Because then he sees Emma’s teenage bedroom and sees just how empty it is. It’s absolutely nothing like her apartment in New York full of throw pillows and blankets and every artificial plant known to man with a colorful paintings above her headboard. Everything here is rather…beige.

Emma walks out of the bathroom where she’s been getting ready for bed, and he watches as she rubs lotion up and down her hands and her forearms. “Why that glum look on your face? Are you still trying to figure out better ways to argue with David over soccer? Because that dinner conversation is long over. I thought Leo was going to climb on top of the table and start beating on his chest or something equally ridiculous.”

“Hm, no,” Killian chuckles, opening his knees so that Emma can step into them and his hands can find their spots on her waist, warm flesh against his fingertips.

“Then what?”

He blinks up at her, not entirely sure if now is the right time to ask, but then he sees the glint of his mom’s ring falling against Emma’s chest and is reassured in who he is to Emma. “I can’t help but notice that your room here is not quite as colorful as your room at home.”

Emma sighs, and he squeezes her hip in response so that she looks down at him and smile. “It’s kind of a stupid reason. You don’t want to hear about it.”

“I’d love to know more of your beginnings, Swan.”

“Haven’t you heard enough about them today?”

“There is never enough information, love.”

She smiles and reaches to push his hair back off of his head, her hands a magic touch as they move through the strands there. “I’m not a sentimental person. Or, I wasn’t.” Her right hand leaves his hair to find the chain around her neck. Killian’s heart stutters at that movement. “And I never trusted that I was going to stay in one place for very long, so if I had the chance to decorate my room, I didn’t. I kept everything I owned in a little box that was always ready to go.”

His heart may actually break for Emma in this moment, the sad reality of what she’s telling him something that’s hard for him to take in. He can’t imagine what it must be like for her to have lived that way.

“I think this place worked out for you, though.”

“Yeah, it did.” She smiles again, but Killian can see the twinge of sadness in the corners of her lips. “You sure you still want to know about these beginnings of mine when they’re a little bit sad?”

“Like I’ve said before, love, we make quite the team, sad backstories and all. I do, however, think that you need a little something on these walls of yours.”

“I think all of the home décor stores may be closed.”

Killian winks. “Well, I think I’ll just have to get a little creative then.”

His hand slides around her back to squeeze her ass before he’s pushing Emma back from him and getting up from the bed to walk out the door. Everything is darkened with the lights turned off, and since he doesn’t want to wake up everyone else in the house, he uses the flashlight on his phone and quietly walks down the stairs to find his way to the kitchen where he knows there were sheets of paper in the printer as well as a few pens in a cup right behind it. Emma is on his heels, questioning what the hell it is he’s doing, but he doesn’t tell her until he’s grabbing the paper and a thick blue marker.

“What are you doing?” Emma hisses.

“I’m making you some artwork for your wall.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“It’s endearing.”

“You say that about every weird thing that you do.”

“Because the weird things are endearing,” he corrects, looking back at her and smiling. “What kind of drawing do you want? I’m pretty talented, if I do say so myself, but it’s been awhile since I’ve drawn anything.”

“Just…do whatever you want. I’m going to fix myself a hot chocolate. Do you want one?”

“Does Ruth have any tea?”

“I’m going to make you the hot chocolate. It’s better than tea.”

Killian rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t protest as he starts sketching out what he can remember of the view of the lighthouse today. It’s rough, definitely not his best work, but considering his original plan was simply going to be writing her name out, it’ll have to do for quick work.

Strange things happen when he’s far past tired.

“Milady,” Killian sighs, picking up the paper as well as a bit of tape before walking the few steps toward Emma as she sits on a barstool at the island with two cups of hot chocolate, her mug piled up with whipped cream and sprinkles of cinnamon, “I present to you your artwork for your wall.”

Emma’s eyes glance over it before glancing up at him with a slight smile on her face. “You’ve got to sign it.”

He taps the corner of the paper where he’s scribbled in his number. “Already done.”

“Ah,” Emma laughs, “how could I have missed that?”

“You were distracted by the beauty of the picture.”

“Exactly.” Emma presses up over the countertop and leans forward to quickly brush her lips over Killian’s, and while a part of him wants to deepen it, he doesn’t want to get carried awhile while here. “Thank you. That is very sweet of you to do.”

“Endearing, right?”

“Sure.” She shakes her head and slides his mug over to him so that he can have some of his hot chocolate. “I hope today hasn’t scarred you for life, especially since you still have to survive tomorrow.”

“It’s been fun, Swan. I’ve been…I think it’s gotten me majorly out of my own head. I needed that. And I liked getting to see you be so happy. My only complaint is that I’m under strict instructions not to make your bed squeak. I don’t like that rule.”

Emma reaches over to slap his shoulder, but he moves it out of the way quick enough that she doesn’t get it. It also causes a slight twinge in his shoulder that reminds him that he needs an ice pack for tonight. He hasn’t gotten to put ice on it all day. So, he turns toward the fridge and opens up the freezer, grabbing one of Ruth’s ice packs, and placing it on top of his shoulder before turning back to Emma whose fingers are tracing over the drawing.

Emotion lodges in his throat again, something that’s been happening quite a lot tonight, and it’s what propels him forward to step behind Emma’s back and wrap his arms around her stomach before resting his chin on top of her head.

“I’m not going anywhere, Emma,” he promises, meaning every word. “Not unless you tell me to go. So, you can plan on hanging paintings and making plans and keeping little trinkets in more places than a box. I love you more than I know how to tell you. That’s not going to change.”

Emma audibly sighs, something that he feels under the palms of his hands, before leaning back into Killian and simply staying in that spot so that he can breathe her in.

“I love you,” she breathes out as her head tilts up so that her lips can move across the underside of his jaw. “Let’s take the hot chocolate upstairs and go to bed.”

“And your picture?”

“Yeah, that too.”

-/-

Killian’s arm tingles, the feeling nearly gone, when he wakes up in the morning and finds Emma’s body pressed around it. This isn’t how they fell asleep, not even close, and he’ll probably never have use of his arm again. It doesn’t seem to matter, though, and he flexes his fingers a bit before nuzzling his nose into the back of Emma’s head in an attempt to get to go back to sleep.

They were up until maybe two in the morning talking, sleep never really coming to either of them no matter how much they both wanted it, and judging from the dim light coming through the blinds on the window, it’s still early yet.

He desperately needs coffee. He’s probably not going to be able to go back to sleep, and he desperately needs coffee.

Slowly, Killian begins to extract his arm from Emma’s grip, stopping when she flinches, and after several careful minutes, he’s able to quietly get off the bed and step out of the room, leaving her door cracked so as not to make any kind of noise. He walks down the hallway and uses the guest bathroom before walking down the stairs and wandering to the kitchen in search of coffee.

To his surprise, David is already there sitting at the kitchen table with his laptop open and a cup of coffee sitting next to him, the smell wafting toward Killian.

“Hey,” Killian greets. David nearly jumps out of his chair and knocks everything over, and Killian can’t help but laugh at the shock on his face. “Did you really not hear me coming down the stairs?”

“I, uh, I – ” David is stuttering, obviously at a loss for words, and Killian can’t quite figure out what’s going on. He doesn’t think Dave is usually this flustered in the mornings. “I wasn’t expecting you or Emma to be up this early.”

Killian shakes out his arm, still trying to wake it up. “Believe me. I wish I wasn’t up. Do you always work this early in the morning on a Saturday?”

“No, I don’t, but my phone wouldn’t stop buzzing with emails this morning, so I came downstairs to see so it wouldn’t wake Mary Margaret up.”

“Ah, I turned off my emails this weekend for that exact reason.”

“You probably shouldn’t have done that.”

“What’s that, mate?” David coughs in response, and Killian steps forward to the table and sits down across from David, confusion running through him as his stomach twists and turns. “Seriously. What?”

David can’t look at him, not really, and that doesn’t help calm any of Killian’s nerves as he tries to figure out what in the world is going on with him this morning.

“I didn’t know this was happening, I swear. I’d have stopped it if I got one whiff of it, but there’s been an article.”

“An article?”

David turns his computer around, and Killian reads a headline that he’s always expected to see and yet has always hoped to avoid.

The Truth Behind Killian Jones: A Story Told by His Father.

“Fucking hell,” he murmurs, his eyes taking in the picture of his father that’s plastered on the screen. Killian hasn’t seen him in years, actual years, and yet he looks exactly the same. “What kind of shit is this?”

“It gets worse.”

“How could it possibly get worse?”

“Look at the journalist.”

Killian’s eyes glance toward the screen again, his gaze finding more words he didn’t want to see.

Walsh Osborne.

As in Emma’s ex, Walsh Osborne who she still works with at ESPN. Though, this article is decidedly not on ESPN’s website.

Holy fucking shit.

Killian’s got to go back to bed. This isn’t real. This is all some kind of messed up nightmare that he’s experiencing, and soon, he’ll wake up and none of it will be real. And yet Killian keeps scrolling through the article, skipping the words to instead look at pictures of himself that Killian hasn’t seen in years. His father shouldn’t have these pictures. Liam should have all of them. And yet, somehow, he doesn’t.

Childhood pictures are nothing, though, at least for right now, when at the bottom of the article are pictures of Killian and Emma standing in the airport yesterday with Emma’s arms wrapped around his waist as well as a picture of them kissing in his car from who knows when. Then there’s one that he knows is from the hallways of Yankee stadium in what was supposed to be a private room.

“Everyone knows about you and Emma,” David tells him.

This is too much. It’s all too much, and he doesn’t know how to handle the reappearance of his father and the very public reveal of his private relationship.

Fuck.

#catch me if you can #cs fic #cs ff #captain swan fic #captain swan

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dippedanddripped · 3 years

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It’s rare that it reaches 100 degrees in the suburbs of Portland, Oregon.

Even rarer still is the presence of an all-gold Dodge Challenger, its reflection giving the appearance of a bejeweled shooting star pulling into the parking lot.

This one also has a vanity license plate – “Sammyy” – that enhances the car’s extraterrestrial appearance.

The Challenger’s occupant exits and joins me at a table. As she takes a seat across from me, a group of 20-somethings not too far away becomes intrigued.

More stares start to accrue from the outdoor mall goers. Next up is a young couple pushing a stroller, followed by the employees at the coffee shop I had just exited.

A minute ago, neither myself nor the table I was at seemed to warrant much, if any, attention.

You can get the sense that “somebody” just entered the premises, even if they’re not quite sure who that somebody is.

I can tell that the attention phases me more than my recently-arrived guest. Despite the now fishbowl-like dynamic between the two of us and the mall-goers, she seems to barely notice.

Then again, when you have more than 2.5 million followers on instagram and nearly half a million more on Tik Tok, being recognized by random passerby doesn’t come as a surprise like it would for most.

Rockstar? No, influencer

I distinctly remember the plethora of classmates I graduated high school with who promised to one day grow up and become “rockstars.”

Unsurprisingly, I haven’t heard from any of those classmates since. What is surprising is how anachronistic the notion of being a “rockstar” has become.

The reality is that “rockstar” should probably be replaced with a new term – ”influencer.” Sure, it’s not quite as catchy, but it’s far more accurate when describing the world’s latest (and perhaps most enviable) celebrity class.

These days, very real rock stars have nothing on the modern day Influencer.

Influencing by the numbers

What little data on the subject tells us is that, in 2016, social media influencing was just under a $2 billion industry ($1.7B, for those with a penchant for exactness).

This figure grew to $3B in 2017, and $4.6B in 2018.

In 2020, estimates tell us that the sector is likely to surpass the $10B mark.

While that may not seem like a lot of money, think of it this way – in a little under 4 years, the size of the influencing industry grew 500%.

Should the industry continue on its current growth trajectory, it will become a $50B industry by 2024.

To put this in perspective, Goldman Sachs estimates that the total value of all recorded music streaming will grow to about $30B by 2030. That means that it will take some years for music to reach just half of what influencing brings in annually.

By some metrics, influencers have become more relevant as celebrities than their musical counterparts. It’s happened quickly; adults who use social media religiously often can’t see it.

But real professional influencers are out there. As a crowd begins forming near our table, I begin to witness firsthand what these ridiculous financial statistics truly mean.

Who is Sammyy02k?

Since 2014, Samantha Krieger has gone by a number of different names. These days, she’s known as Sammyy02k.

Despite her reluctance to do in-person interviews, she’s agreed to be the subject of an Artvoice feature on the rise of social media influence.

And while Krieger can exercise her massive reach with just a few taps of a smartphone, a lot of misinformation about her continues to circulate.

As part of her agreement to the interview, I offer to help clarify the basics about just who exactly she is.

Samantha Krieger, AKA Sammyy02k

Samantha Krieger was born in Portland, Oregon. For some years, she was no different than you or me, working tedious retail jobs and driving a non-gold car.

At Lakeridge high school, she was dealt with taunts from wealthy classmates. It’s likely these experiences would activate whatever latent stardom was already within her.

After graduating from Portland State University in 2014, Krieger had a vision.

She suspected, correctly, that it doesn’t take much to at least get started as an influencer.

You need photos and/or video, sure… but given the prevalence of acceptable cameras on the backs of phones, finding a suitable recording setup was simple.

The second ingredient Krieger inferred was something less tangible – the courage required to be exceptional.

Despite her natural shyness, she had ambitions that extended beyond what she thought her bachelors degree would help achieve. Then, one day, it clicked.

“You could say I decided to become an ‘antisocial social media star.’”

“I did what I wanted to do, and I knew there was going to be a way to make it work for me.”

From 0 to 60 (thousand followers)

Like any new profile, at one point, @Sammyy02k had 0 followers.

Constant content and connection with followers helped drive things quickly, however.

A few hundred followers within a month turned into one thousand, and one thousand turned into tens of thousands in less than a year.

While impressive to most, Krieger knew there was more to be gained.

“Once I hit 50 or 60 thousand, things started to snowball. I hit the gas.”

@Sammyy02k posted more content, becoming more aware of her developing voice with every post.

At 500k followers, the contracts rolled in.

Brand building, Sammyy02k style

Krieger’s first contract of note was in Spring 2018, a lucrative deal with clothing brand Fashion Nova.

Now, instead of developing a brand on her own money and time, Krieger had companies competing against one another for the privilege of paying her to do what she loved.

The Fashion Nova contract was quickly followed by others, and within just a matter of months, Krieger’s lifestyle had changed dramatically.

She quit her last remaining part-time gig and moved into a luxury 2-bedroom apartment in Portland’s famed Pearl District.

With newfound status, however, came the need for significant soul searching.

Overcoming obstacles, digital and personal

Not too long after inking the Fashion Nova deal, Sammyy02k was offered to do a paid appearance at a party in downtown Portland. While there, she got a call from the police.

A gray Dodge Charger registered in her name had crashed into a median in China Town. The driver had fled, and the car was totaled.

Krieger immediately had a suspect in mind: a reckless boyfriend who had started taking advantage of her recently-acquired celebrity status.

Boyfriends weren’t the only concerns that Krieger had to deal with – even some of her own friends had started to become jealous, the relationships turning toxic.

To her friends, Krieger was still known as just “Sam”. People in her circle had difficulty comprehending the controlled entrepreneurism required to run @Sammyy02k.

They’d ask for shoutouts or suggest off-brand posts, not understanding that the Instagram profile required attention to detail and discipline.

Old friends becoming enemies seems like an overplayed Hollywood trope.

For a young adult who now could command thousands of dollars for just a few minutes of work, it was reality.

The type of loneliness that hides in shadows of success began to stretch further and further into Krieger’s personal life. The totalled car was the last straw.

While on the phone with the police at her first paid party appearance, Krieger took a deep breath and decided that staying on her desired path would require serious changes.

“I saw this as an opportunity where I could come back, and make a statement.”

It turned out that ditching the car (and the boyfriend) would be one of her best career decisions yet.

A car is born

A few weeks after the incident, Sammyy02k returned from a luxurious all-paid overseas trip to the Seychelles with a new travel sponsor. Krieger decided that she “needed a new whip.”

By now, Krieger had registered an LLC in her name. Business was coming fast and steady, and it wasn’t uncommon for her to be recognized on the street – not only in Portland, but in Los Angeles and even cities as far away as Kansas City.

Krieger elaborates:

“At this point, I was really stepping into my role as an influencer. This is when I really refined my style, my brand, and my image.”

For you and me, “refining your style” might mean picking up a few shirts from a department store.

To Krieger, it meant buying a brand new custom Dodge Challenger R/T wrapped in metallic gold with scissor-doors, the kind you’ll find on a Lamborghini.

According to Krieger, the car represents the essence of her brand, and the luxury of travel. It’s now one of the most recognized facets of her style.

Sammyy02k all over the world

Sammyy02k’s influence, today, is international.

With sponsorship deals taking her to the Seychelles, Dubai, Abu Dhabi, and beyond, she is now recognized in 4 continents.

She prides herself on showing her fans different places around the world. The path less traveled, the freedom to be everywhere, the luxury lifestyle that many in our always-connected society dream of.

“I feel connected to the road, and traveling to exotic locations”

The opportunities that sudden stardom has afforded her seem almost surreal, even to her. Normalcy is a mirage in the rear view mirror.

Responding to criticism

In mid-2019, Krieger was the main guest on a Portland Fashion Week panel. Already an influencer to influencers, she insisted that whatever secret ingredients success exist come naturally.

During a Q&A, she fielded numerous questions regarding her chosen career path. Not all of the questions were softballs.

Some questioned the materialism and sexuality often used by influencers.

The response was simple:

“Your opinions don’t pay my bills.”

Always on the go

With more followers pouring in every day, Sammyy02k stays busy. She recounts tales of distant travels, and the types of perks that I thought were originally reserved for a few select people who orbited high above in the LA movie industry.

Thirty minutes into the interview, I notice that a distant crowd has accumulated around our table like rings around Saturn.

Krieger barely seems to notice. A reminder goes off on her phone, a notification about another engagement she has back in the city.

After a polite exchange of thank yous and goodbyes, she heads back to her car.

I hear the exhaust note of the Challenger float away from the parking lot as I gather my notes and get up from the table.

As I glance up, the crowd has already dispersed. The only people left pay me no mind as they stare at their phones.

#portland oregon #influencers #streetwear blog #fashion blog #Sammyy02k

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