#lambda fellow

[haropladraws]

“My pen--leviathans were so enraptured by the kotatsu, I had to check if there was something wrong with them, so here we are. Don’t get the wrong idea. Since you got here later than expected, this is your fault in the first place. ... I didn’t give you a heads up and would’ve been here sooner if I did? ...You’re my Master, you should be ready for me at all times. Now sit down so we can go over this again.” 

a lovely and mysterious alter ego lambda for @jadequerel!

#my art #gift art #jadequerel #fate grand order #mysterious alter ego lambda #meltryllis #for some reason tumblr won't let me ping you #but yeah!! gift art for a fellow lambda enjoyer!

[risestarkiss]

Nicknames

Rise Ramblings #351

One of my favorite things about Rise is the utilization of nicknames in the show. This is the first iteration of the TMNT that really dived deep into nicknaming the boys. ❤️🧡💙💜

Also, the fandom has come up with quite a few great names of their own!

I wanted to list off some of the names from the show, some names I’ve heard around the interwebs, and some of the ones I’ve personally made up.

(Yeah. Those get a little out of hand. I’m apologizing from now. 😌)

LEONARDO: Leo Nardo Leon Neon Leon Primetime The Blue One Baby Blue Bluey Cyan Blue Boy Lee Pepino Fruit Ninja & Blueberry (I’m sorry. 😞)

MICHEALANGELO: Mikey Micheal Miguel Mike Magic Mike Orange Orange Pawn Orange Peel Doctor Delicate Touch Doctor Feelings Doctor Positive Doctor Rude One Love Angelo Angie Angel & Alan (I’m sorry. 😞)

RAPHAEL: Raph Raphie Raph-a-roni The Red One Big Red Red Rover Red Reign R-Dawg The Red Angel of Preventing Harm Raphela Ella Ellie Strawberry Strawberry Jam Strawberry Cupcake & Cinnamon (I’m so sorry. 😔)

DONATELLO: *takes a deep breath* Don Dee Deedee Dondon Donnie Donnie-D Donald Donna “Don, I tell you.” Dynamite Don DonTron Donathan Donnifer Donstantinople Don Stasinopoulos Dontertelli Don Tortellini Donatelli Spinelli Don Quixote Donkeytello Don Jamba Lambda “Don, a fellow.” *takes another breath* Vomitello Othello Othello Von Ryan ‘Thello Tello Hortense Mr. Science Bootyyyshaker9000 Alpha-Bootyyyshaker-9000 The Funny One The Purple One Purple Purple Knight Purple Boy Purple Jam Purple Jambalaya Grape Jelly Grapes Ube Smarts Brains Eyebrows & “The scientist formally known as, D.” (I will not apologize for any of these. Fight me.)

Bonus: DUOS! Raph & Don: Brains & Brawn, Strawberry Jam & Grape Jelly Leo & Raph: Sunrise Duo Mikey & Raph: Sunset Duo Leo & Mikey: Baja Blast, Portal Pals Leo & Donnie: The Disaster Twins & Double Trouble Donnie & Mikey: Smarts & Crafts, PB&J

Are there any that I missed? 😁

#These names are as natural as drinking water 🤣 #I live for these names #they're canon to me #starkiss ramblings #rise analysis #rottmnt analysis #rottmnt #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #tmnt2018 #tmnt 2k18 #tmnt 2018 #save rottmnt #unpause rottmnt #unpause rise of the tmnt #save rise of the tmnt #save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles

[drdemonprince]

I don't think I have it in me to be an abolitionist because I read that horrible story about the trans teen murdered in South Carolina and my knee jerk reaction is, those people should rot in jail, ideally forever, or worse. No matter how I look at it I can't make myself okay with the idea that you should be allowed to steal someone's life in such a horrible way and then just go back to enjoying your life. Some stuff is just too over the top evil.

You can have whatever emotions you want about that person's murderous actions, but the reality is that the carceral justice system is one of the largest sources of physical, emotional, and sexual torment for transgender people on this planet.

Transgender people are ten times more likely to be assaulted by a fellow inmate and five times more likely to be assaulted by a corrections officer, according to a National Center for Transgender Equality Report.

Within the prison system, transgender people are frequently denied gender-affirming medical care, and housed in populations that do not match their identity, which increases their odds of being beaten and sexually assaulted.

The alternative to being incorrectly housed with the wrong gendered population is that transgender people are also frequently held in solitary confinement instead, often for far longer periods on average than their non-transgender peers, contributing to them experiencing suicide ideation, self harm, acute physiological distress, a shrunk hippocampus, muscculoskeletal pain, chronic condition flare-ups, heart disease, reduced muscle tone, and numerous other proven effects of solitary confinement.

The prison system is also one of the largest sites of completely unmitigated COVID spread, among other illnesses, with over 640,000 cases being directly linked to prison exposure, according to the COVID prison project.

We know that number is rampantly under-estimated because prisoners, especially trans ones, are frequently denied medical care. And even basic, essential physical care. Just last year a 27-year-old Black man named Lason Butler was found dead in his cell, having perished of dehydration. He had been kept in a cell without running water for two weeks, where he rapidly lost 40 pounds before perishing. His body was covered in rat bites.

This kind of treatment is unacceptable for anyone, no matter who they are and what they have done, and I shouldn't have to explicitly connect the dots for you, but I will. One in six transgender people has been to prison, according to Lambda Legal. One in every TWO Black transgender people has been to prison. One in five Black men go to prison in America.

THIS is the fate you are consigning all these people to when you say that prisons must exist because there are really really bad people out in the world. We should all know by not that this is not how the carceral justice system works. Hate crime laws are under-utilized, according to Pro Publica, and result in few convictions. The people who commit transphobic acts of violence tend to be given softer sentences than the prisoners who resemble their victims.

We must always remember that the violent tools of the prison system will be used not against the people that we personally consider to be the most "deserving" of punishment, but rather against whomever the state considers to be its enemy or to be a disposable person.

You are not in control of the prison system and you cannot ensure it will be benevolent. You are not the police, the judge, the jury, or the corrections officers. By and large, the people who are in these roles are racist, transphobic, ableist, and victim-blaming, and they will use the power and violence of the system to terrorize people in poverty, Black people, trans people, "mad" people, intellectually disabled people, women, and everyone else that you might wish to protect from harm with a system of "punishment." Nevermind that incaraceration doesn't prevent future harm anyway.

You can't argue for incarceration as the tool of your revenge fantasies, you have to argue for it as the tool that it actually is. The purpose of a system is what it does. And the prison system's purpose has never been to protect or avenge vulnerable trans people. It has always been to beat them, sexually assault them, forcibly detransition them, render them unemployable, disconnect them from all community, neglect them, and unperson them.

[fullscoreshenanigans]

There's something to be said about TPN's handling of its characters of color with Vincent's hero worship of Norman—from the comical fanaticism played for laughs to genuinely revering him as a god—especially when considering this bit from the mystic code book:

And especially if the Lambda scientists made a point to tell him the reason he underwent horrific, inhumane experimentation was to attempt to reach the heights of the naturally gifted white boy, only for him to never make it to that level and be deemed lesser in their eyes.

That said, I really do enjoy the progression of their relationship, from them taking a risk and reaching out at even the chance of finding a human connection in their endless isolation

(Chapter 104 | 105)

to them on some level recognizing each other as fellow victims of an unspeakably cruel system and wanting to restore a semblance of dignity to the cattle children who were made unable to fight back in the ways they speak of their plight.

(Chapter 113)

Yet at the same time, they kept each other at a distance, both needing the other to fulfill the role they had designated for them in their minds, leader and general, while also wanting to live up to the respective roles they had been assigned. Deviating from that would lead to navigating the terrifying uncharted waters of vulnerability in the midst of overthrowing an entire world order, and suddenly taking the risk to seek out that human connection became too great.

(Chapter 138 | 124 | 131 | 137 | 141 | 154)

(Chapter 168 | 169)

But when those pretenses are dropped, the foundation for a genuine friendship going forward is there, and I enjoy thinking about what that would entail in the human world.

(Chapter 181 | 181.4)

#The Promised Neverland #Yakusoku no Neverland #TPN #Mystic Code Book #FSS Chatter #TPN Norman #TPN Vincent #Cuvitidala Arc #Norman #Vincent #King of Paradise Arc #Seven Walls Arc #Imperial Capital Battle Arc #Return to Grace Field Arc #Human World Arc #TPN 154 #TPN 168 #TPN 181 #Long Post #it's something that if you look at it completely isolated I think it's fine #but in the wider context of TPN's track record with characters of color #(good fucking god‚ Krone‚ but Pepe and Zack being relegated largely to the background after Goldy Pond to keep Dominic and Jemima company #and Ayshe's backstory being introduced and essentially dropped in the span of 25 chapters‚ on top of the whitewashing in the anime) #and the prominence of the white savior narrative in media/general elevating of white characters #I can understand why people might not be keen on it #obligatory “all Lambda gang dynamics desperately need to be expanded upon” comment #but I have a very big soft spot for Big Bro Vincent → Norman with the similarities they share #also adore the symmetry of them both yelling in the top right/bottom left corner of that page from Ch168 #I was going to call Vincent Norman's right-hand man for a second but then left-handed joke #Read More

[eliyafreeman]

🧡💗 INTRODUCTION 💗🧡

Real Love is temporary, Fictional Characters are forever <3

About the s\i, me ! <3

ʚ Eliya\Eli\Gordie 💗 She\Her\They\Them 🧡 lvl 18 💗 Aquarius 🧡 Infp 💗 Atheist ɞ

☢️ Am I new to the Selfship Community? Nope ! Done it for years but finally found out about and joined the community since january from Twitter !! (It is dying so I came here-)

☢️ What will I be posting? Selfship stuff and arts I make, me and my f/o (mainly !) and some reblogs of cute f/o imagines !!

☢️ My motives? To normalize selfshipping, Fictosexuality and Fictophilia !! It is helping to all of us in so many ways. if it's coping, to cure trauma, or anything else <3

☢️ Other stuff abt me? Yes! I'm Pansexual, Demisexual, Demigirl, Fictosexual !! And I'm a Half-Life Girl !! (Not a part of the game's community or fandom for protective reasons.), I have Tourettes, PTSD, ADHD and BPD. and Gordie is my non-binary side name ! <3

About my f\o ! <3

💗 Gordon Freeman from Half-Life !! 💗

☢️ Headcanons ? Yes !!

LGBTQ headcanons:

Transmasc, Pansexual, Demisexual

Random headcanons:

Religion; Atheist

Height; 183cm

Personality; tough, strong and stoic around others but only around me alone he shows his soft self

he has PTSD and ADHD

(May add more !)

Pronouns: He\Him

☢️ Other stuff ? Yes !!

❥ He is muted

❥ He is a Theoretical Physicist

❥ Is lvl 27 (i am not a minor anymore so that ain't an issue !!)

❥ has 3 brothers; Felix, John and Wyatt (he is the biggest of them all)

(May add more !)

☢️ What is he for me? My husband ! <3

☢️ Date of him becoming my f/o? July 30th, 2022 \ anniversary date; December 13th, 2022

☢️ Comfortable with sharing?

No ! Canon x Canons or Selfships/Selfshippers including him are My Severe Triggers !! It is very important to me to protect myself and to keep my selfship space safe !! (may block specific accounts but I have filtered tags, but won't be spreading hate on other selfshippers !!)

Side Note: if your f/o list does include him as platonic or familial i will be uncomfortable as well for various reasons but if your f/o list doesn't include him at all you're perfectly fine for me to interact with. I just love that he's mine alone, and that is it.

So please, CanonxCanons/Selfshippers with him DNI, tysm !! ❤

Other Stuff !! <3

☢️ Tags and Pair names !

#🧡| Gordeliya Freemeli |💗

#🧡| HEV Suited Lovers |💗

#Gordeliya Freemeli

#Gordon Freeman x Eliya Freeman

#Lambda Roses

#🧡☢️x🌹💗

#🧡💗| My Freeman !! <3

☢️ TWs (Trigger Warnings) !

Yandere, Obsessive Love and my delusional being (reality is your playground, play around with it !!)

Blood and Weapons (in drawings and in posts I upload/repost of the game)

nsfw content I may upload or repost !! Filter these tags that I made for y'all so you'll stay comfy !! #nsfw warning ‼️💗 #suggestive warning ‼️💕

DNI !! <3

DO NOT INTERACT IF YOU ARE ANY OF THOSE !! IF INTERACTED YOU WILL BE BLOCKED !!

Sexist / Racist / LGBTQIA+phobic / Antisemitic / Freemanphobic / MAPs / Pr*ship / C*mship / Sh*ta / Lo*i / In*est / Toxic Shippers,Selfshippers / Supporters of toxic cringe culture / Antisemitics / N*zis / T*rfs / NFTs,AI Art / Pro SH,ED

Social Media !! <3

☢️ SpaceHey - https://spacehey.com/eliyafreeman

☢️ FriendProject - https://www.friendproject.net/eliyafreeman

☢️ Discord - eliyafreeman

☢️ Bluesky (twt alternative) -

♡ !! NEW !! - Click here to browse stuff abt my ship !! Art, refs and etc !! (Google Drive Folder) ♡

Ending !! <3

Will be happy to make selfship moots !! 💗, I will be happy to interact and be friends with you and support your selfship !!

See y'all on the flip side !! 💗🧡

Blinkies were made in blinkies.cafe !! Check it out <3

#f/o x s/i #s/i x f/o #canon x self insert #self insert community #self insert x canon #f/o community #gordon freeman #half life #gordeliya freemeli #🧡| Gordeliya Freemeli |💗 #🧡| HEV Suited Lovers |💗 #Gordon Freeman x Eliya Freeman #Lambda Roses #🧡☢️x🌹💗 #self ship #self shipping #selfship community #selfship #selfship intro #selfship positivity #selfship promo #fictosexual #fictophilia #tw fictophilia #fictosexuality #yandere #obsessive love #tw yandere #tw obsessive love #self ship blog

[silverstonesainz]

frat star 101

a crash course on all things frat 

okay so some of you might be wondering, what the fuck is a frat? well here i am, with three years of being active in the greek community (and a self-proclaimed frat RAT), here to share a bit of my knowledge. 

if you have any questions that i did not answer in this post or wanna talk more in depth about my experiences, feel free to DM or send in an ask! and if any of my fellow greek life peeps see that i miswrote something or missed something in general, pls dm and ill make those changes!

-> FAQs

so what’s a fraternity/sorority? the most basic explanation for this would be that they are a college organization/club. fraternities are exclusively men, sororities are exclusively women. there are co-ed fraternities, but those are more academic/degree/community service based. there are different councils of sororities/fraternities (IFC, PHC, MGC, NPHC), but in terms of this au, that doesn’t really matter. 

why do people join? a multitude of reasons really: making friends, networking, philanthropy, community service, resume building, etc etc! if you take it seriously, you get a lot more out of it than a social life. personally speaking, i’ve grown a lot as a person and it has benefitted me a lot in my professional life. 

what do they do?  theres a lot of things that fraternities/sororities do on campus and in their community. philanthropic events are a big one. every chapter has a different charity/organization that they support, and the means of how they raise money and support their org! its a fun way to keep the greek community connected n stuff. and they make it competitive so chapters go against each other. lots n lots of fun 

they also host social events. chapters can host date night/parties, socials, & semi-formals/formals! date nights and formals are usually open to invite anyone (with reason), where as socials are chapter to chapter (i.e. lambda chi alpha and alpha delta pi). what they do at these events just depends on the chapter hosting. it can range from mini golf to a movie night. it all depends.

the only thing sororities can’t do is throw parties. it goes against NPC standards & by-laws for sorority women to throw large scale events like that in their houses. i can’t quote the exact rule but its there. fraternities on the other hand… they do whatever they want i GUESS

and then internally we have retreats for sisterhood/brotherhood building and a bunch of fucking meetings. it’s much like a business, except you pay to do it.

what’s the point?  the point is what you make it. sororities and fraternities can cater to an experience that you’re looking for. a thing i always heard as an active is you get what you put in. if you’re looking for a social life, you can get it. wanna network??? gain leadership experience?? plan events?? greek life could help you too. and greek organizations can benefit you post grad too with their alumni network. and also, you’re not limited to your own chapter, but those around you. again, its all about what you put in, and what you want to gain. 

-> TERMINOLOGY*

recruitment- its a period in the semester where greek organizations can begin to accept new members. the process for sororities & fraternities differ, as sororities are much more formal and structured while fraternities are more casual and laid back. (informally known as rush/rushing) 

chapter- can mean two things, depending on the context. so (1) its a way to differentiate the organizations in conversation. like for example my chapter is ABC and your chapter is XYZ. and (2) its what you refer to a specific greek organization at a specific university. so when im referring to my chapter, i’m specifically talking about sorority ABC at university DEF. confusing but again, its all in the context. 

pledging- it’s the informal (and incorrect way) of referring to the new member process. officially, we don’t call it that bc of it’s negative connotations but we also still very much call it that. 

pledge- its a new member in an organization, but again we don’t refer to out new members in that way bc that would be demeaning and considered hazing

greek row- refers to the street/area that greek organizations live in. 

legacy- an individual who has had grandparents, parents, and/or sibling in a specific greek org.

executive board- student leaders of the organization that work to maintain order and keep up the chapter running (president, vps, secretary, etc etc). the executive board make up and positions vary from chapter to chapter.

honors/standards board- a different set of members asked to make sure that their members are upholding each individual org’s standards and bylaws. its also normally not members already serving on the executive board

dues- what you pay to be apart of the organization (varies from chapter to chapter, school to school)

big / little- it's a mentorship! getting your big bro/sis means getting a person that will guide you through your new member process and see you through to initiation (and beyond!) bigs will always be an initiated member and littles will be new members

*please note that some of these things sometimes are referred to differently on other campuses. this is just what my school uses. 

-> EXTRA EXTRA

every chapter is different. . .  seriously. not all fraternities/sororities run their orgs the same. and it also differs from school to school. a certain fraternity might be the sexiest most gentlemanly men you’ve ever come across at one university and complete pigs at a another. there are a lot of similarities but when it comes down to the nitty gritty we’re all pretty different.

all experiences are different. . . my happy go lucky good time will not be the same as another. and my misery in it will also not be the same as another. the experience is different for everyone and all comes down to how an individual uses their time in their organization, and on the organization itself.

it is as cult-y as you think it is. . .  we have rituals. its different for every chapter, and to be fair i only know my own but i can say that every ritual is pretty fucking culty in their own way.

lots of secrets and lots of lore. . . there are a lot of things about greek life that goes on from chapter to chapter that we don’t speak of. it’s a sacred thing, that only initiated members of each specific organization know. you can definitely google these things but i personally think its taboo to talk about unless youre a member.

finally, let me be perfectly clear. . . 

i know that there is a lot of dark shit that has happened and continues to happen in greek life, that theres a lot of work to be done even in this day & age. this au is not meant to glorify all the ugly— the hazing and any type of hatred that certain chapters may have. this is all for fun, to talk about all the good and fun that can come of it. 

#greek row: lore #frat 101

[physiqueandfantasy]

Now, this may be hard to believe but my vintage media collection tends to skew pretty heavily toward boys. So I have a smaller pool of images to pull from for girls but I do have a few “artist model books“ from the 50s and 60s which were meant to be for art reference only, As opposed to the traditional straight Lovers cards these two lovers are embracing each other and being watched lovingly by a fellow sapphic archangel. I didn’t include the apple tree or the snake or any of the Adam and Eve symbology instead I focused on lesbian and gay symbology. Pomegranates for womanhood, the Gilbert Baker rainbow, a lambda symbol, and many many violets.

#lesbian #saphic #wlw #gay art #my art #my collages #tarot #the lovers #queer art #oscar gallegos art

[artistsonthelam]

Happy National Poetry Month! Chicago poet Jamiece Adams has two poems in my zine, LAMINATOR Vol. 1—“21st and Maple” and “In Defense of Melancholy”—that make my heart ache whenever I read them. Here's the full text of the former.

Jamiece Adams is a Black genderqueer writer. She was a Lambda Literary Fellow in 2019. Her work has been published in Rabbit: Nonfiction Poetry Journal, The Lambda Literary Anthology of Emerging LGBTQ+ Writers, Hypertext Magazine, and elsewhere. She was nominated for an Illinois Arts Council award in fiction for her piece “The Solitude of Sleep.”

Also, Jamiece is co-hosting a Threewalls salon called “In-Session | The Porch: Places of Belonging” at Soul Full Chicago on May 15. Congratulations, Jamiece!

LAMINATOR (c) Jenny Lam 2024

#poetry #poets on tumblr #poem #original poem #national poetry month #chicago #art #zine #art zine #poetry zine #lgbtq #queer #childhood #nostalgia #home #memories #life #time #writers on tumblr #writing

[milochmagic]

(@lambda-asks) lambda seems curious about the mention of everstone dust. "evolution... i understand why one may not want to pursue it. but," they tilt their head at marcie, "there is more to it for you, hm? a... bad experience? or a health condition, perhaps?"

Marcie eyed the Elgyem with a raised eyebrow. Rather nosey, this one was. But it was clear they meant no harm. Fine, she'd spill a little. Maybe some handsome fellow would come along and console her afterwards!

"Sort of," she said, with a wry smile. "The former rather than the latter. Let me tell you a little story."

"Papa got bored, or so he says. That it was for the best for the both of them. So he went behind Mama's back with a little Mr. Rime.

I'm not sure what he saw in her. She wasn't smart, and she wasn't exactly an eye turner. But she was stupid enough to do anything he asked, and skeevy enough to stay with someone she knew was cheating, and I think that was enough, really!"

Marcie exhaled with a "phew".

"Well, there you have it, my dear! A little look into my reality tv style family life. But don't worry. My mother's doing much better these days. I moved her over to Galar to live with me. We're better off without either of those ... well, clowns." she shrugged. The pun was half intended.

"Is it rude to make such associations? Probably. But no one double crosses my mother like that and gets away unscathed. Moreover, no one double crosses me like that by association!" she gave Lambda a wink.

[ @lambda-asks ]

#answer #marciemrmime #pokeask #and now u know #marcie holds hella hard grudges

[angels-heap]

*raises hand* I want to know about the barney/Lauren fic!

OKAY SO. In late 2019/early 2020 while I was writing The Ghost in You, I was also writing a companion fic in my brain that followed Lauren, Barney, and Gordon pre-rescas, from the time they all met until the day after the Incident. Working title was “Every Breath You Take” because (1) I suck at titles, (2) I’d already titled two fics in that series after 80s songs and wanted to stick to the pattern, and (3) the whole concept was that Lauren thought she was successfully spying on Black Mesa and uncovering conspiracies – which she was, to be clear – but the G-man was also watching her.

I kept telling myself not to start earnestly drafting the fic until The Ghost in You was closer to done, both because I didn’t want to manage two longfics at once and because I felt the prequel would hit harder after readers learned more about Lauren through post-HL2 Barney and Gordon’s recollections. Then, of course, the 2020 fandom bullshit happened and I basically scrapped the idea, though it lives on in my head and in a handful of drafts and phone notes scattered across my devices.

It’s highly unlikely that I’ll write the fic at this point, despite my renewed interest in the fandom, mostly because my 9-5 job (which is really more of an 8-10 job) won’t allow me the time or flexibility to take on another project that big. So, for anyone who’s curious about what could have been…

Context: Lauren is a food service/cafeteria worker at Black Mesa, assigned to the cafeteria near Sector C at the time of the story. This is how and where she met Barney (as explained in The Ghost in You). A running theme of the prequel was to be how service workers (especially female service workers) were essentially invisible at Black Mesa due to the various -isms and prejudices of the time, which meant Lauren could get away with a lot with a little stealth and social engineering.

I’ve forgotten and/or never got around to drafting a lot of the connective tissue between the major plot points, but here’s a rundown of all the important beats I can find/remember:

Story opens with Barney telling Lauren about “ponytail guy” (Gordon), the new AnMat scientist who always eats alone and never seems to talk to anyone. Lauren challenges Barney to approach ponytail guy and to her surprise, they hit it off. Barney won’t shut up about how nice and interesting his new friend is all night, and the next day, when Barney shows up to help her move her stuff into his apartment, he brings ponytail guy with him! Lauren’s wary of him at first, due to a general distrust of scientists, but eventually warms up to him through dunking on Barney and a mutual interest in sci-fi.

Lauren’s team caters a working lunch for Dr. Breen and other higher-ups. She inadvertently overhears something she shouldn’t have about the Lambda Complex’s unacceptably high casualty rate. She recalls hearing rumors and noticing that some of those scientists have gone missing recently, but had assumed they quit/moved/retired. Now she’s not so sure. She vows to keep closer tabs on Lambda Complex scientists in the future and decides not to mention any of this to fellow conspiracy nut Barney—at least, not yet. Not until she has proof.

Interlude: Lauren and Barney have a conversation about who they’d want a “hall pass” to sleep with, no questions asked, without it affecting their relationship. After some back-and-forth, they decide to write their choices down on scrap paper and swap them. Lauren picks Leonardo DiCaprio. Barney picks Gordon. He instantly protests that he didn’t understand the game, but Lauren knows better. She’s also not surprised, and she likes Gordon well enough, and she feels secure enough in their relationship that she doesn’t exactly feel threatened that Barney’s also attracted to Gordon. In fact, she finds the whole thing kind of hot, but she’s not inclined to tell Barney that yet. It’s more fun to let him squirm and see where things go.

Over a span of several weeks, Lauren hears rumors that several more Lambda Complex scientists have suddenly disappeared. She starts casually asking around and gets stonewalled at every turn, which only raises further suspicions. She asks Gordon what he thinks and he shrugs the whole thing off as a rumor. On her way home from Gordon’s apartment, she sees a pale man in a blue suit watching her from a distance. He makes eye contact with her, straightens his tie, and walks away.

Lauren picks up extra shifts as a custodian to gain access to Sector E facilities, based on a hunch. She pretends to get lost and strategically “stumbles across” one of the specimen labs, where she discovers Xen fauna in various stages of dissection and skims some unsecured lab notes. When she's caught by a condescending scientist who's clearly in a hurry, she simply plays dumb and gets escorted back to her work area with a warning. After that shift, she returns to her and Barney’s shared apartment to find that he and Gordon are celebrating the news that Gordon’s up for a promotion to the Lambda Complex team, pending a letter of recommendation from Dr. Kleiner. Lauren instantly knows that this cannot be allowed to happen and starts scheming.

Next time the three of them get together, Lauren casually asks Gordon if he knows about Xen, to which he replies, “Zen? I’ve never relaxed a day in my life.” (This conversation is also referenced in TGIY). This confirms that he has no idea what he’s about to be sent off to do, so she resolves to set her plan into action. After Barney and Gordon conk out on the couch, she steals Gordon’s swipe card and manages to convince the guard in Sector C (a friend of Barney’s) that Gordon asked her to drop something off in Kleiner’s office. He escorts her in and looks away long enough for her to steal Gordon’s letter of rec out of Kleiner’s outgoing mail tray. She smuggles it out, rips it to shreds, and flushes it down the toilet. G-man watches her leave.

(Somewhere in here, Barney and Gordon attend the infamous Christmas Party referenced in The Ghost in You, where they get super drunk and end up making out with each other while Lauren is out of town. Barney calls Lauren the next day and she just knows something happened between them, but she’s not mad. Barney hands Gordon the phone, and she gives him a minor heart attack by saying something along the lines of “Next time you decide to make out with my boyfriend, can you at least invite me?” This whole debacle could’ve been—and almost was—its own fic.)

Gordon’s transfer never goes through. Everything goes back to normal. Lauren continues to snoop around and becomes increasingly paranoid that the blue-suited bureaucrat is following her around (because he is). She mentions this to Barney, who shrugs it off (“Black Mesa’s crawling with suits”) and suggests that maybe she’s seeing things because she hasn’t been sleeping well. Lauren realizes he’s right, and maybe there’s more to her nightmares and restless sleep and constant body aches than the stress of uncovering an interdimensional conspiracy that she can’t talk about with anyone. She takes a pregnancy test. It's positive.

(Insert a scene referenced in The Ghost in You: Either the one where Lauren tells Barney about the pregnancy and he freaks the fuck out, or the post-Galaxy Quest conversation where Lauren asks Gordon if he thinks Barney would be a good father, from Lauren’s POV.)

Flash forward to the day of the incident. Lauren’s in New York when she hears news that something’s happened at Black Mesa. She starts calling Barney’s apartment phone (no answer, no answering machine) and Gordon’s (no answer, and she discovers that Barney recorded a goofy message on Gordon’s answering machine without his knowledge). Hours drag on with no news, and the rest of her family eventually goes out to dinner, leaving her alone, dialing Gordon’s number over and over, even after she knows in her heart that he’s never going to answer, just to hear Barney’s voice. Eventually, the line is disconnected mid-call.

(If you’ve read The Ghost in You, you probably have your suspicions as to how everything ends. I’m intentionally leaving this vague for now, just to preserve the ambiguity, but suffice to say that Lauren’s experience of her last phone call with Barney was a bit different than his. If anyone’s actually read this far, I welcome your theories.)

So, that's the fic! I'm sure its final form would've been much more interesting and cohesive than this outline, but I was proud of it as a starting point and it gave rise to so many of my cherished headcanons. Make of it what you will.

#asks #nerdneeniya #sorry it took me forever to answer this #and thank you for asking and giving me an excuse to infodump! #unwritten prequel my beloved #fanfiction

[bosses-stay-flawless]

Women’s History Month!!!

HBCUs: To the sisters in every HBCU, we don’t rep the same thing, but I recognize the values and your legacy of service and to my fellow AKAz Pinky’s Up!!! You know if you know!!! Ivy & Pearl Girl…

My sisters speak my language:

Alpha - Α α Beta - Β β Gamma - Γ γ Delta - Δ δ Epsilon - Ε ε Zeta - Ζ ζ

Eta - Η η Theta - Θ θ Iota - Ι ι Kappa - Κ κ Lambda - Λ λ Mu - Μ μ

Nu - Ν ν Xi - Ξ ξ Omicron - Ο ο Pi - Π π Rho - Ρ ρ Sigma - Σ σ/ς

Tau - Τ τ Upsilon - Υ υ Phi - Φ φ Chi - Χ χ Psi - Ψ ψ Omega - Ω ω

#Instagram

[foundationhq]

EMPLOYEE ID 2469-0789-4; 𝐼𝑉𝑂𝑅𝑌 𝑇𝑂𝑊𝐸𝑅.

𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐀𝐠𝐞 35+ 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫/𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬 𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 gregarious, energetic, devious. 𝐒𝐭𝐚��𝐮𝐬 open

PROFILE.

An inspiration to us all, [𝐼𝑉𝑂𝑅𝑌 𝑇𝑂𝑊𝐸𝑅] has never turned back in fear of the unknown. A mainstay in the frontlines since the start of their career in MTF [REDACTED], they have braved SCP after SCP and have always managed to return alive, cheery and vivacious. Though they’ve been given internal awards and numerous commendations for their bravery, [𝐼𝑉𝑂𝑅𝑌 𝑇𝑂𝑊𝐸𝑅] has refused to rest on their laurels, preferring to carry on serving as a first-responder. Their reason is a testament to their virtue, as they say they solemnly feel for their lost brethren and will not leave the frontlines in honor of them. However, there are colleagues who have responded to the accolades [𝐼𝑉𝑂𝑅𝑌 𝑇𝑂𝑊𝐸𝑅] has proudly added to their portfolio with surprise and dismay, insisting that this operative should not have survived, as no one is “that lucky.” Accusations flew of unfair allocation of resources, convenient relocations, and unusual adjustments to their duties. Detractors claimed these undocumented perks served to insulate [𝐼𝑉𝑂𝑅𝑌 𝑇𝑂𝑊𝐸𝑅] from under-performance, mishaps, and the same hazards their fellows faced. However, to the Foundation’s understanding and thorough internal review, anyone who has been on the field with [𝐼𝑉𝑂𝑅𝑌 𝑇𝑂𝑊𝐸𝑅] claims they have seen the team’s hero fighting with them, side-by-side. To our knowledge, [𝐼𝑉𝑂𝑅𝑌 𝑇𝑂𝑊𝐸𝑅] has responded to these allegations with grace and kindness, insisting that these comments stem from misplaced hurt and grief for the fallen. A close confidante and fan of [𝐼𝑉𝑂𝑅𝑌 𝑇𝑂𝑊𝐸𝑅], who wishes to be anonymous, has stated the popular operative is merely resourceful, a talented networker, and a devoted employee, therefore an easy target for jealousy. With this recommendation, the Committee is certain that their service with the Broken Scales of Themis will provide a staging ground for [𝐼𝑉𝑂𝑅𝑌 𝑇𝑂𝑊𝐸𝑅] to demonstrate their true worth, once and for all. — Internal Memo from the Ethics Committee.

LAST ASSIGNMENT.

UTP;  recommendations  include  a  frontline  Tactical  Response  Officer  or  Containment  Specialist  from  MTF  Xi-5  “Newton's  Bullies”,  Beta-7  “Maz  Hatters”,  Lambda-5  “White  Rabbits”,  Lambda-12  “Pest  Control”,  Mu-13  “Ghostbusters”,  and  Phi-2  “Clever  Girls”.

INTERRELATIONS OF NOTE.

𝑆𝑀𝑂𝑂𝑇𝐻 𝑂𝑃𝐸𝑅𝐴𝑇𝑂𝑅. Your new Commander has quite the impressive CV so you expected someone distinguished but, in person, you find yourself a little… underwhelmed. A leader should be someone who can galvanize the masses and motivates their comrades to push forward, no matter what — and unfortunately, you can’t say 𝑆𝑀𝑂𝑂𝑇𝐻 𝑂𝑃𝐸𝑅𝐴𝑇𝑂𝑅 is an inspirational figure. Perhaps their long tenure as the Committee’s favorite has blunted their edge and therefore, that of the Broken Scales — an edge you could hone. It’s not that you’re angling to undermine them, no, you’ve never been interested in a leadership position — but if the other members of MTF Chi-00 feel like they have to turn to you for guidance, who are you to turn them away?

𝐸𝐿𝐸𝑉𝐴𝑇𝑂𝑅 𝑀𝑈𝑆𝐼𝐶. You’re sure to keep yourself in tip-top form and acing every medical exam; your body is a temple! However, the team medic seems to be peering at your files a little closer than most. Which SCP was it, again, that gave you that rather debonair scar? Well, as a fellow high achiever — please, you can practically see the Ivies growing off of them — they should understand that, sometimes, it’s hard to keep track of your many glowing achievements.

𝑈𝑅𝐵𝐴𝑁 𝑀𝑌𝑇𝐻. So wide-eyed! So dazzled! By you, clearly, how sweet. You’re glad to answer all their questions, even the ones they haven’t thought to ask yet. Why mine the old, outdated guard for insight — you’re here now, and you’ll set them straight. Just wait for 𝑈𝑅𝐵𝐴𝑁 𝑀𝑌𝑇𝐻 and their fellow newbies to see you in action in the field. While there’s no danger of any of them outshining you, it’ll be amusing finding out what they’re made of. Some of them might even be useful.

𝐶𝑂𝑁𝑁𝐸𝐶𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁 𝑈𝑇𝑃. — Propose a connection between your character and any of our taken or open skeletons!

#horror rp #sci fi rp #supernatural rp #new rp #skeleton rp #fhq.it #fhq.open #fhq.all

[mechahero]

@5mind asked- Ghost, midnight oc asks: not-so-nice edition

ghost: Who or what haunts your OC? What happened? How do they live with their ghosts?

Well, his house is pretty ghost free. Joking aside, there's probably a few things. General regrets and embarrassment at himself when he was younger (which can't really be helped even though he was literally a kid that didn't know any better), anguish over not being able connect with other people even back then, but what really sticks with him was what happened back at the lab.

He might not like to think about it but it has stuck with him. It's kind hard for it not to. He doesn't really live with it so much as he does put up with it. It's all Lambda knows how to do. After all, what else do you do when you've seen tons of dead people while escaping and realizing you're never going to be like your fellow human ever again.

midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

If we're being literal, he's a night owl. He's just generally tailored for the night. (And well, insomnia.) Figuratively, it's more or less what I mentioned above. Regret, cringing at older memories, and wondering if they'd ever find him again and what he would do if that ever happened. Or even smaller anxieties like worrying about if he'll ever wake up again when he goes to bed. Though, that particular fear doesn't come up much.

The early hours of the morning are his sunset. He's usually showered, brushed his teeth and put his pajamas on. And then he does the same thing he was doing prior to that, finding something to do so he doesn't have to think about those things.

#//was going to get to these yesterday and then forgot to whoops #//slowly making up for that now #//he avoids thinking about those kinds of things #//not exactly the healthiest but he doesn't really know that? he just thinks if he stomps it down hard enough one day it might stop coming- #//-back up #//which doesn't work BC HE NEEDS TO GET THE HELP TO COME TO TERMS WITH THAT AND PROCESS THEM IN A HEALTHIER WAY #//he probably will some time in the future though. it'll take a lot of work to get him to the point where he agrees with that #//he will have to take the initiative for himself when he does though #why are you botherin' me? {answered memes} #hidden depths: {info} #5mind

[fullscoreshenanigans]

Canon-divergent AU concept inspired by:

Me hating that Andrew’s visit to Grace Field in chapter 100 amounted to nothing after he antagonized the kids in chapter 111 about how he talked with Phil.

Feeling like out of the full score trio, Norman interacts with Phil the least

So instead, Andrew brings Phil to Lambda, mostly as a security measure to keep the secret of Grace Field a secret if Phil does know anything while doubling as a way to keep Norman in check, but also for any potential data they could acquire from him (he was scoring around where Don and Gilda usually are in the 190s/200s while just starting the tests at four) and not wanting potential premium-grade meat to go to waste years before he turns six. The detrimental effects of Lambda on one’s psyche would be bound to affect him, but they’re outweighed by the benefits of keeping him there.

I imagine they would still would still keep the two largely isolated like Norman is in canon, but once or twice a week they would have one-hour observed visits with each other (I default to them playing chess during this time) to keep Phil’s spirits up and as a reminder for Norman the leverage they have over him without having to say a word.

So then on top of the hatred already festering inside of Norman in canon, you have the added layer of them bringing his four-year-old brother into this living hell which he wouldn’t wish on any of his fellow cattle children, not even with the knowledge that Phil brings about the escape being a success and Ray’s suicide attempt being thwarted. Seeing the loving, youthful ebullience drained from Phil, no matter how hard he would try to keep up the same cheerful facade he put on at Grace Field after the escape for Norman because he didn’t want to make him worry, would gnaw at him and solidify his resolve even more.

When Lambda is finally destroyed, Phil is much more subdued and doesn’t talk much, even when he’s alone with Norman, so details of Norman’s life pre-Lambda remain a mystery to the rest of the cattle children who have been freed, but the Lambda gang does have another child to adore and protect at all costs.

tl;dr underexplored dynamic would like to see more of it and like the thought of the Lambda gang being their overprotective selves toward Phil

#god i love that screencap of them from S1e03 it looks like they're poking their head out of a fort they made or something #The Promised Neverland #Yakusoku no Neverland #TPN #YnN #Norman 22194 #TPN Norman #YnN Norman #Phil 34394 #TPN Phil #YnN Phil #TPN AU #Escape Arc #TPN 030 #Cuvitidala Arc #TPN 100 #FSS Chatter #Norman #Phil #Big Bro Norman Tag #me dumping this without thinking of all the fallout and ramifications of it but i'm curious if someone's already done this/wrote fic for it #my memory could be off but i swear they get the least amount of time together #and with how Emma's the main one Ray also receives a lot of association with him as a secret holder of Grace Field #so there's that connection for them and I feel like there's not as much for Norman & Phil that's talked about‚ at least from what I've seen #tangent but do you ever think about how mad Ray probably was that the older kids left that burden on Phil's shoulders #like he gets why they did it but god that must have hurt #Phil suffering there alone while having to keep up a front for his new Mom and siblings #at least Ray didn't have to worry about that with Isabella and he eventually had Emma‚ Norman‚ Don‚ and Gilda for support #again he gets why but he also can't believe they would do that to Phil but he's lived it so he's biased/has that personal insight

[vannagiang]

12/07/22

good morning it is 4:33 am and i literally have no finals so why am i up rn. Once again i am sitting on the couch in some random Olympic lounge debriefing life with Charlotte. we are committing ourselves to a 30 day challenge where we pick on hobby and commit ourselves to that hobby for everyday of winter break. she’s gonna do tumblr and i am going to run (i have extremely poor cardiovascular health for no reason at all). anyways thats the boring stuff…

My day started weird asf bc of karis and ben. they called me at 8 am asking me if i was up literally as they were in my hall walking to my room. bitches pulled an all nighter for no reason and got de neve breakfast without me EVEN THOUGH I CAME UP W THE IDEA IN THE FIRST PLACE. then they laid their stinky butts on my bed while ben was stripping in front of my poor, sleeping roommate. i love them tho so i will peacefully let this slide. they then crashed on the hedrick lounge couches.

i got bottomless mimosas today w my fellow degenerates (half joking) and everyone was funny and giggly including myself. i have to take the lambdas to this once in a lifetime (but might become a regular thing) experience. charlotte better down them mimosas like rent is due. anyways then i crashed on sean’s couch and woke up intermittently to sean and johnny smashing (the nintendo kind). then me and char went to century city AHHH OH HOW I LOVE THAT PLACE it was beautifully decorated and we felt so healthy at tender greens!!! i bought myself stuff from sephora cuz i felt like shit! we split gelato and a cinnamon roll, but clearly i’m a damn vacuum and needed to wash it all down with doordashed boba. charlotte and i stayed in carnesale afterwards watching Wednesday (addicted ily jenna ortega) and i introduced charlotte to my fav kpop groups (gotta start them early hehe). then we looked up from the laptop and realized that we were the only fucking people left there… ANYWAYS HELP IM CONTEMPLATING DYING MY HAIR BUT IDK IF THE BENEFITS OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES. maybe i’ll do it impulsively.

BACKT TO REALITY. i sit next to charlotte on couch talking about ideal first dates and winter quarter goals. we have the best talks ever it’s literally therapy. and ofc we got hungry asf and violated the vending machine. i gotta stop snacking… BYE I LEAVE IN 2 DAYS WOOP WOOP

[rockislandadultreads]

NoveList August Reading Challenge: Read a book that stars an unreliable or unnamed narrator

Did you know NoveList is a database you can access with your library card to find reading recommendations? Find your next favorite read with this fantastic readers tool! Check it out on our website here.

A Minor Chorus by Billy-Ray Belcourt

In Northern Alberta, a queer Indigenous doctoral student steps away from his dissertation to write a novel. He is adrift, caught between his childhood on the reservation and this new life of the urban intelligentsia. Billy-Ray Belcourt’s unnamed narrator chronicles a series of encounters: a heart-to-heart with fellow doctoral student River over the mounting pressure placed on marginalized scholars; a meeting with Michael, a closeted adult from his hometown whose vulnerability and loneliness punctuate the realities of queer life on the fringe. Amid these conversations, the narrator is haunted by memories of Jack, a cousin caught in the cycle of police violence, drugs, and survival. Jack’s life parallels the narrator’s own; the possibilities of escape and imprisonment are left to chance with colonialism stacking the odds. 

A Minor Chorus introduces the dazzling literary voice of a Lambda Literary Award winner and Canadian #1 national best-selling poet to the United States, shining much-needed light on the realities of Indigenous survival.

Checkout 19 by Claire-Louise Bennett

In a working-class town in a county west of London, a schoolgirl scribbles stories in the back pages of her exercise book, intoxicated by the first sparks of her imagination. As she grows, everything and everyone she encounters become fuel for a burning talent. The large Russian man in the ancient maroon car who careens around the grocery store where she works as a checkout clerk, and slips her a copy of Beyond Good and Evil. The growing heaps of other books in which she loses-and finds-herself. Even the derailing of a friendship, in a devastating violation. The thrill of learning to conjure characters and scenarios in her head is matched by the exhilaration of forging her own way in the world, the two kinds of ingenuity kindling to a brilliant conflagration.

Liar, Dreamer, Thief by Maria Dong

Katrina Kim may be broke, the black sheep of her family, and slightly unhinged, but she isn’t a stalker. Her obsession with her co-worker, Kurt, is just one of many coping mechanisms—like her constant shape and number rituals, or the way scenes from her favorite children’s book bleed into her vision whenever she feels anxious or stressed.

But when Katrina finds a cryptic message from Kurt that implies he’s aware of her surveillance, her tenuous hold on a normal life crumbles. Driven by compulsion, she enacts the most powerful ritual she has to reclaim control—a midnight visit to the Cayatoga Bridge—and arrives just in time to witness Kurt’s suicide. Before he jumps, he slams her with a devastating accusation: his death is all her fault.

Horrified, Katrina combs through the clues she’s collected about Kurt over the last three years, but each revelation uncovers a menacing truth: for every moment she was watching him, he was watching her. And the past she thought she’d left behind? It’s been following her more closely than she ever could have imagined.

The Kingdom of Sand by Andrew Holleran

The Kingdom of Sand is a poignant tale of desire and dread—Andrew Holleran’s first new book in sixteen years. The nameless narrator is a gay man who moved to Florida to look after his aging parents—during the height of the AIDS epidemic—and has found himself unable to leave after their deaths. With gallows humor, he chronicles the indignities of growing old in a small town.

At the heart of the novel is the story of his friendship with Earl, whom he met cruising at the local boat ramp. For the last twenty years, he has been visiting Earl to watch classic films together and critique the neighbors. Earl is the only person in town with whom he can truly be himself. Now Earl’s health is failing, and our increasingly misanthropic narrator must contend with the fact that once Earl dies, he will be completely alone. He distracts himself with sexual encounters at the video porn store and visits to Walgreens. All the while, he shares reflections on illness and death that are at once funny and heartbreaking.

#fiction books #fiction #unreliable narrators #reading challenge #reading recommendations #reading recs #book recommendations #book recs #library books #tbr #tbr pile #to read #booklr #book tumblr #book blog #library blog