#knight nikolai lantsov

[corpsebasil]

Quick clip of a later scene from Nikolai’s POV! Spoilers for THG with Nikolai Lantsov if you haven’t started

Laying there, on the ground, he remembers.

As the sky seems to break above him, strange explosions filling the sky of the arena, as fire burns in the distance and smoke singes his nose, as your body grips his own weakly, a warm sensation in his abdomen growing stronger by the second.

He remembers.

You.

It was before you’d ever kissed him. Before he’d ever tried. At a Capitol party during the Christmas season the two of you found yourselves at a gala, the entire place decorated like a winter wonderland. Your dress had been white then—or was it silver? The blood loss is making it difficult to remember but—

—yes. He remembers.

You’d worn tiny crystals in your hair, long and unbound, one hand clasped in Jem’s, the other in Xiomara’s. The two women of your prep team screeched with laughter, the three of you sounding like tropical birds as you spun wildly to what was meant to be a slow dance in the middle of the ballroom floor.

Other members of the Capitol had watched in shock, then amusement, then pure delight as you laughed, head tipped back, a wide grin on your gorgeous face as you danced with your prep team. Your friends. The only girls in the Capitol you considered family.

Nikolai remembers leaning against the wall, trapped in a conversation with well-meaning Capitol men, his eyes locked on you. You’d glanced over, just once, and the joy on your face hit him like a knife to the heart. Oh, you. He’d thought. How could he have ever deluded himself into thinking he wasn’t yours?

How had he not realized he loved you?

#nikolai lantsov #shadow and bone #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai x reader #shadow and bone imagine #wattpad #fluff #knight nikolai lantsov #six of crows #the hunger games #catching fire

[zoeysdamn]

"Is that a ring?" - Knight!Nikolaï x reader

A/N: you know what I love with @corpsebasil Knight Nikolaï AU? Crushing angst and secret lovers/marriage trope, yes. I wrote angst already so let'ssssssssss goooooo

absolutely self-indulgent, I'm weak okay

“Is that a ring, Sir Nikolaï?” 

The question came out from the mouth of the lady-in-waiting with a gasp and made every head in the room swirl to the knight. Looking up from the handkerchief he just picked up, Sir Nikolaï found himself lost for words. When the piece of fabric dropped from the edge of your lap, he couldn’t help himself but practically dropped on his knees to catch it and bring it back to you. What a devoted knight he was to his princess. And one of the maidens clearly noticed the glimmering band around his finger. 

You couldn’t help but to let out a faint giggle behind your hand. Just as quick, the knight recomposed himself with his usual polite smile. 

“Ah, yes, it seems that it is indeed, miss Ankorov,” Nikolaï agreed politely, his natural nonchalance back as he straightened himself. 

Your ladies in waiting exchanges confused looks and giggles at the newly found information. Sir Nikolaï, the most dedicated, handsome, sworn to celibacy and never once seduced  knight, had a ring on his finger? Since when?

As the ladies exchanged hushed whispers among themselves, you shot an amused look at Nikolaï. He answered back with a quick wink without anyone else noticing. Oh, this was going to be fun. 

“I didn’t realize that wearing a piece of jewelry would be so disturbing,” Sir Nikolaï chuckled charmingly – eliciting more giggles from some of the women in the room. “I apologize for the turbulence, ladies.”

“Not at all!” assured one of them, blushing in embarrassment,  “It’s just that…well…”

“We are quite surprised to see you wearing such a ring on that particular finger,” quipped another, wiggling her eyebrows a little to her embarrassed colleague. “Is it what we think it is?”

“And what do you ladies think it is?” 

Chuckling softly, you hid your amusement by taking another sip of your tea. This should be an interesting exchange to watch, you thought. One of the ladies noticed your amused smile and gasped softly. 

“Do you know what it is, your majesty?” she inquired, greedy for the gossip. 

Setting your tea cup slowly, you raised an eyebrow to the blonde knight. “Actually, I don’t. Would you please be so kind as to enlighten us about that infamous ring of yours, Sir Nikolaï?” 

He bit back a smile at your feigned confusion, while the ladies in the room looked at him with expectation – knowing that Sir Nikolaï would never refuse a demand from the princess. So he straightened his back and put on the most charming smile of his. 

“It was given to me by someone very dear to my heart, ladies.”

Of course his carefully picked, provocative chosen words made another round of hushed shrieks erupted among the handmaidens. Even you feigned a shocked gasp – very useful to hide your giggles at how easy it was for him to mess around your poor ladies-in-waiting’s brains. All of their minds clearly got into certain places very fast. And yet, by the magic of etiquette, none of them dared to ask the infamous – scandalous question. 

“Someone dear to your heart?” repeated one of them, giddy with gossip. 

“Indeed”, nodded Nikolaï, still collected and professional as ever. Oh, how he was making them stall with the small answers.

“May we inquire who? Or maybe you’re bound by secrecy by that love of yours, Sir?” giggled the youngest lady, filled with romance novels thoughts. 

The question elicited a soft chuckle from the knight. Thankfully none of the other ladies in the room noticed it, but it came with a warm twinkle of affection in his eyes. 

He bowed slightly, disguising his smile to the eager ladies-in-waiting. 

“I’m only sworn to my lady,” he smoothly said, “I’m afraid she’s the only one I can truly be faithful to, sorry ladies.”

Some of the ladies pouted, deception draping over their features. “So there’s no one?” 

As an answer, Sir Nikolaï offered them an apologetic smile. “I would be a poor excuse of a knight if I vowed my life to someone other than my Lady.” 

The ladies in waiting groaned at his words, disappointed by the lack of juicy gossip after all. Soon, the topic drifted to something else entirely, and Sir Nikolaï’s ring was long forgotten. Maybe it was a family heirloom from his mother after all? It would make sense. But fortunately for the knight, the ladies in waiting’s mind ended up filled with other things as the afternoon passed. Ultimately, the ladies had to leave and bid their goodbyes with a respectful bow. Once they exited the room and the door closed, you let out a long sight, as you got up on your feet. Those afternoons with your ladies in waiting were great, but sitting for hours had your legs tingling. Stretching your legs you moved to the window, eager to feel a bit of natural light. Still, the best feeling was the warmth of Sir Nikolaï’s hands on your shoulders, sliding to hold you close as he pressed a kiss on your temple. You leaned on his chest, humming at the peaceful sensation the embrace brought. When a ray of light caught the surface of the golden band on his finger, a fond smile graced your lips. 

“So,” you started teasing softly, “tell me about this someone dear to your heart, Sir Nikolaï.”

The blonde knight chuckled, nuzzling his nose in your neck. 

“You’re never gonna let this down, are you?”

“Never,” you smiled. “Please oh good sir, tell me more about this dear lady of yours,” you asked dramatically. 

Sir Nikolaï laughed lightly, gently turning you around to face him. Your breath stopped for a second when your eyes caught his, and the pure look of adoration he seemed to always have when he looked at you, no matter how many times he did. 

“Well,” he started softly, “she’s a sight. She’s kind, brave, beautiful, and has quite a good taste, if I may add.” 

A light laugh escaped you at his last comment, and Nikolaï’s smile got even wider at the sound of it. Saints, your laugh. 

Another ray of the soft late afternoon light glimpsed on your collarbone, catching his eye. His fingers delicately pinched the glimmering surface, pulling on the thin, almost invisible to the eye, golden chain. No one ever noticed it, but he knew it was here, almost burning and begging him through your dresses and delicate silk tops. And when a golden, delicately carved gold ring looped around the chain finally emerged from the censoring fabrics, he felt his heart soar with joy. 

“It appears you also do have someone dear to your heart, my lady,” he smiled softly. 

You grinned as you nuzzled yourself close to his chest, “I do, dear husband, I do.” 

His lips caught yours in a loving and long awaited kiss as soon as the words left your mouth – and you gladly responded to it with a smile. 

Unlike your beloved knight of a spouse, you couldn’t wear your ring in public. Sure, you had other rings, but this one would certainly be suspicious. So you wore it underneath your clothes, always close to your heart ; until you can one day wear it on your hand, just where Nikolaï had put it when he married you in secret, away from everyone’s eyes. 

“Aren’t you going to show me how dear I am to you, Sir Nikolaï?” you asked huskily after you parted away from your kiss. 

He grinned and immediately holstered you in his strong arms. “Most certainly, my beloved wife.”

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagine #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #knight nikolai #knight nikolai lantsov #fluff

[that-demigirl]

Random OC Ideas

Shadow and Bone

Name: Kazimir Lanstov

Otkazat'sya - Younger Brother of Nikolai and Vasily Lanstov - Third in line for the Ravkan throne

FC: Jonathan Keltz

Age: 18

LI: Alina Starkov

—

Kazimir wasn’t like either of his older brothers. He didn’t have confidence rolling off of him in waves, had no idea what to do with a court full of nobles, and had no dreams of a military career. Kazimir, or Zim as most called him, was simply a prince with a low chance of gaining a throne. So when his older brother, Nikolai, showed back up in court, bringing back the Sun Summoner with him, Zim wanted no part of it. Yet the Saints must have had different plans for him because soon Nikolai and Alina were roping him into their plans. And if he started to fall for the one chosen to save their kingdom? Who could really blame him…

Star Wars

Name: Leasara Wycaund

Jedi Knight - General of the 202nd - Clone Wars Era - Padawan: Brett Marspitt - Green Lightsaber

FC: Saoirse Ronan

Age: 24

LI: Anakin Skywalker

—

If Leasara Wycaund chose one friend she could not lose then she’d choose Anakin Skywalker. They had been apprentices together and had gone through the trials around the same time. The two were inseparable, turning to each in times of need as they transitioned from padawans to knights. But Leasara senses a change in her oldest and closest friend… a dark cloud surrounds him…

—

Name: Brett Marspitt

Padawan - Commander of the 202nd - Clone Wars Era - Master: Leasara Wycaund - Blue Lightsaber

FC: Skandar Keynes

Age: 15

LI: TBD

—

Surviving Order 66 was worse than Brett would have ever imagined. Separated from his home, his way of life, his family… The only support he had to rely on was Ahsoka. Everything and everyone he ever lived for was gone besides her. So here they were, finding a new way to live in a galaxy hell bent on hunting them down

#my oc #oc #shadow and bone oc #oc: kazimir lanstov #nikolai lantsov #lanstov family #alina starkov #star wars oc #clone wars oc #jedi oc #jedi knight oc #oc: leasara wycaund #padawan oc #oc: brett marspitt #anakin skywalker

[criesinliess]

━MAY 2023; susan's recs

OUTER BANKS

━━RAFE CAMERON

5 times rafe cameron chose you + 1 time you chose him, too @folkloreslovechild

━━JJ MAYBANK

stood up @mydogisveryadorbs

SCREAM

━━ETHAN LANDRY

knight in shining armor @websterss

teach me; part2 @prettyprettypsychos

you deserve better; part2 @↑

obsessed; part2; part3 @↑

ghostface games @↑

why does he get to have you? @↑

you don't hate me @↑

wish you were sober @ghostfacd

karma; part2; part3; part4 @corpsebasil

sleepy @↑

accident @dizscreams

guilt @alessiathepirate

title taken @astermath

CELEBRITIES

━━JACK CHAMPION

babe?! @evethestargirl

━━CHARLES LECLERC

in the comments @heliads

BULLET TRAIN

━━TANGERINE

all in a days work; angel of the morning @fookinfandoms

GRISHAVERSE

━━NIKOLAI LANTSOV

enchanted @in-my-feels-probably

thought i'd lost you @corpsebasil

━━KAZ BREKKER

bet on it @in-my-feels-probably

TOP GUN: MAVERICK

━━BRADLEY 'ROOSTER' BRADSHAW

doctor, doctor gimme the news @tongue-like-a-razor

just roommates @risriswrites

the purrfect storm @roosterforme

━━JAKE 'HANGMAN' SERESIN

less talk part7 @tongue-like-a-razor

HARRY POTTER

━━BLAISE ZABINI

love, anonymous @cherryslyce

━━THEODORE NOTT

by newts & nott @cherryslyce

━━ DRACO MALFOY

astronomy project @dangerouslyallaboutdraco

LOCKWOOD&CO

━━ANTHONY LOCKWOOD

perfect @givemea-dam-break

ain't a life a many splendored thing? @wellgoslowly

MARVEL

━━BUCKY BARNES

polaroids @barnxsromanxff

#susan's recs #fics recs #rafe cameron x reader #jj maybank x reader #ethan landry x reader #jack champion x reader #charles leclerc x reader #tangerine x reader #nikolai lanstov x reader #kaz brekker x reader #bradley 'rooster' bradshaw x reader #jake 'hangman' seresin x reader #blaise zabini x reader #theodore nott x reader #draco malfoy x reader #anthony lockwood x reader #bucky barnes x reader

[heyimadison]

november 2023 : madison’s recs

so excited to start taking part in this!! thank you to all of the lovely authors whose words have made me kick my feet giggling or grip my chest in pain, and every other emotion in between. you guys are the real superheros of the heart, and i hope you receive the recognition you deserve <3

Criminal Minds

— spencer reid

in ruins ; part 2 @weehelers

Harry Potter

— theodore nott

i love you @cutesouls

i bet you think about me @beingsuneone

devil eyes @azrielscrown

( absolutely phenomenal cross post) with:

— mattheo riddle

hide and seek @writingsbychlo

OPLA

— Roranoa Zoro

the promised knight @togenabi

pick me up @togenabi

butterfly lovers @revasserium

hold me (still) @revasserium

daybreak @halfvalid

the summer i turned pretty

— conrad fisher

ocean eyes @cryonme

grishaverse

— kaz breaker

labyrinth @auroravictorium

when am i gonna lose you? @crowsmybeloveds

intruder 2 @ashessonfire

— nikolai lantsov

sick and stubborn @fleurspun

outer banks

— jj maybank

members of the heartbreak club @pogueszn

lockwood & co.

— anthony lockwood

the complications of a fake engagement ; part 2 @novelizt

avatar

— neteyam sully

warm hands @loaksky

the hearts that bind us @loaksky

by the grace (make no mistake i ii @loaksky

how do i make you love me @lanasblood

divider credit goes to @cafekitsune thank you!❤️

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #theodore nott #theo nott #theodore nott x reader #theo nott x reader #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x reader #roronoa zoro #zoro roronoa x reader #conrad fisher #conrad fisher x reader #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #nikolai lanstov x reader #nikolai lantsov #jj maybank #jj mayback x reader #anthony lockwood #anthony lockwood x reader #neteyam sully #neteyam sully x reader

[fieldsofhyacinth]

majority of the links are ao3 links since that’s what i read most fics on, but if the writer has a tumblr i’ll be sure to tag them!

Misc Batfam

Batfam Soulmate AUs by Starkk

My Own Power by CynicalRosebud

Tim Drake

Who We Are by @minnieearsposts (ongoing)

Mad Dog by difficultheart

Jason Todd

You Writing this Down, Miss Gazette? by finkhiscool (ongoing)

The Siren’s Cry by @xxsweetnlowxx (ongoing)

Broken Prism by @klbwriting (ongoing)

She Hates Me by @minnieearsposts

Bruised Strawberries by mothermadness

Dark Fox by flyingnightwing

Dissociation (make it red) by closet_monster

Family Secrets by bannana_chip

Green flames in her eyes by Sniper_mask

Red Knights Rising by rawritzrobin

Rules of Vanishing by Morveren

Red Sun by difficultheart

Hunger by difficultheart

Dick Grayson

The Moon Will Sing by @minnieearsposts (ongoing)

Out of my League by angl_ernshw

What the Water Gave Me by difficultheart

Older! Damian Wayne

Protector friend and lover by Harleyq127

Nikolai Lantsov

nine long years by @ellewritesalright (ongoing)

Kaz Brekker

walls by klbwriting

Spencer Reid

Bucky Barnes

Burn the Witch by @dreamwritesimagines

[nefarioushan]

my six of crows/grishaverse characters Hogwarts house headcanons:

-Kaz Brekker, Slytherin (wants power and uses knowledge for his own advantage)

-Wylan Van Eck, Ravenclaw (naturally curious)

-Matthias Helvar, Gryffindor (noble and knight-like morals)

-Nikolai Lantsov, Slytherin (cunning)

-Zoya Nazyalensky, Slytherin (wants respect and power)

-Inej Ghafa, Hufflepuff (loyal and wants to help others)

-Jesper Fahey, Gryffindor (almost stupidly brave, yearns for adventure)

-Nina Zenik, Gryffindor (not afraid of risk)

-David Kostyk, Ravenclaw (a simp for knowledge)

feel free to post your head canons :) please no hate, spoilers for HL or anything like that.

#six of crows #crooked kingdom #soc #ck #shadow and bone #jesper fahey #grishaverse #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #wylan van eck #nikolai lantsov

[ronandreams]

2023 CHARACTER WRAPPED

tagged by @hellshee to post my top nine characters of the year, thank you! 🥰 (this is such a cute tag game omg)

1. nikolai lantsov, shadow and bone

2. guillermo de la cruz, what we do in the shadows

3. ted, ted lasso

4. allison argent, teen wolf

5. nicholas wolfwood, trigun stampede

6. marienne bellamy, you

7. muichiro, demon slayer

8. mizu, blue eye samurai (love of my life)

9. louis, interview with the vampire

10. kaz brekker, shadow and bone

i really wanted to add more 😂 there's just too many. eleven from stranger things and steven grant from moon knight should also be on this list. wanda maximoff too!

tagging: @tommishelby, @eizagonzalezs, @aquietgirlsmess, @nordstars, @joequinns, @und0miels, @shinsabine, @cavarage, @swkywalker, @padme-amidala, @fireplceashes, @dykenadjas.

#hellshee #ioana tag #userhellshee #tag games #tag game #2023 character wrapped

[raparopa]

Fic List

☾ Shadow and Bone ☾

do you understand or feel it? (Tolya Yul-Bataar x reader)

lady tidemaker (Tolya Yul-Bataar x reader)

you won't die (Kaz Brekker x reader)

jealous Nikolai (Nikolai Lantsov x reader)

Gold and silver

Prologue

Part one

☾ The Witcher ☾

When They Have A Crush On You...

sweet and innocent reader with black knight (Cahir x reader)

Their jealousy

when you get hurt

Cahir headcanons

Rience (Rience x reader)

flirt

lambert (Lambert x reader)

a bet? (Jaskier x reader)

☾ The House of the Dragon ☾

jealousy

when someone at the tournament asks for a sign of attention from their sweetheart

drunk confessions

☾ The Last Kingdom ☾

fool and coward (Sihtric x reader)

my mercian maid (athelflead x reader)

☾ Star Wars ☾

hux! hux? (Armitage Hux x reader)

#shadow and bone #hotd #the witcher #star wars #the last kingdom

[lassieposting]

Things Kirigan and Kaz have in common:

- Fashion Sense: Both like understated elegance, relying on flattering cuts and quality fabrics to project an air of status and wealth. Both favour black with metallic accent colours (gold, silver, copper, brass). Both appreciate a good brocade.

- A Beloved Pet Dumbass: Kaz has Jesper and his gambling addiction. Kirigan has Nikolai and his complete lack of self-preservation.

- Touch Aversion: specifically as a result of childhood trauma.

- Devotedly Loyal #2: Ivan for Kirigan, Jesper again for Kaz.

- Missing Sibling: Kaz is a little brother without a big brother, and Kirigan is a big brother with a little sister he only sees rarely.

- Heart Eyes For Wifey: Inej for Kaz, Alina for Kirigan.

- Tactical Minds: Strategy is Kirigan's literal job and Kaz has a talent for outmanoeuvring his enemies - he plans the Crows' heists.

- Snark Knight In Dented Armour Personality: They're both deeply traumatised, broken men with massive trust issues who are nonetheless charismatic, fiercely loyal and very protective of those they care for. Kaz uses his influence to protect his crows, and rescues Inej from the Menagerie. Kirigan is a living shield between Fjerda/Shu Han/the less tolerant Lantsov kings and Ravka's Grisha population, and he's willing to take on his own merzost monsters to protect Alina.

- Power & Influence: Kaz is the head of his gang of criminals, vaguely analogous to a mob boss. Kirigan runs an army. Both are lonely, isolating, high-pressure roles where they are surrounded by underlings, not equals.

- Childhood Circumstances: Kaz was left homeless and destitute in a dangerous, degenerate city after Jordie lost their money and subsequently died. Kirigan was raised as a hunted minority, impoverished and perpetually on the move. They'd likely share some essential childhood skills; sleight of hand, light fingers, a flexible interpretation of personal property, cheating at cards, etc. Skills they could've used to feed themselves when nothing else would.

With that in mind:

Friendship Thoughts

- They're (officially - no one here has forgotten The Bomb Incident) introduced by Nikolai post-war. Sturmhond has done contract work for Kaz in the past - mostly overseas couriering of dubiously legal merchandise - and likes to drink at the Crow Club when he's docked in Ketterdam.

- Kaz recounting the story of his triumph over Pekka Rollins, however many years in the making, over a civilised glass of whiskey with the same kind of savage satisfaction Kirigan recognises from finally winning a brutal, drawn-out campaign.

- (Kirigan advises him to take in the Rollins boy, and be a kind mentor to him. Leaving him with the Dime Lions who are loyal to his father allows them to make him your enemy. Taking him prisoner and mistreating him does the same thing yourself. Far better to control both the boy and the narrative he's told from a young age. Trust him, Mr. Brekker, he has made that mistake with so. Many. Princes. Harmless boys will come back as angry men to bite you in the arse.)

- Deep, involved debates and discussions on tactics and strategy. Kirigan is an incredibly powerful Grisha and, while he grew up in the dirt, has spent centuries as a supposed "nobleman" and politically influential advisor to the Ravkan crown. Kaz spent much of his life as a penniless, powerless Barrel rat clawing his way out of the gutter with nothing but his wits. They approach the same problem from very different perspectives with very different assumed-available resources and see things the other would miss.

- Nikolai inviting Kaz to fancy Ravkan balls like it's a fucking play date. Kirigan can introduce him to a whole new network of wealthy investors if he wants to grow his business interests, open up a new echelon of society. And when they're not doing that, they can hide out in the corner being antisocial and judging everyone else's fashion choices.

- Long, dry letters exchanged across an ocean. Kaz sends a page and a half of Trouble Jesper Has Gotten Into Lately to Os Alta, in miniscule, italicised handwriting. After a few weeks, he receives three swirly, copperplate pages of Stupid Shit Niko Has Done This Month in return. For both of them, this is mostly entertainment, a brief break from an endless stream of boring paperwork to snort at the antics of someone else's idiot.

- Swapping skillsets. Kaz has plenty of his own informants in Ketterdam, but will sometimes write to tap into the Darkling's extensive, notoriously on-the-ball spy network, if foreign intelligence will be useful for a job. In exchange, he'll use his criminal network now and then to get Kirigan things from the black market - explosives, firearms, supplies Ravka is running low on, escaped Grisha indentures - on the quiet.

- Corecloth suits for Kaz. Fancy court waistcoats with Kerch embroidery for Kirigan. Swapping tailor recommendations. It sounds snarky, like they're subtly dunking on each other, but they're enjoying themselves. Jesper and Nikolai can simultaneously bond over being flamboyant and debonair.

- Nikolai learns quickly not to play cards with either of them. He knows how to cheat well enough, but Kaz and Kirigan are playing 5D Cheating Chess with sleight of hand, crimped cards and gaslighting, and if he keeps at it he'll lose everything down to his trousers. It's always the quiet ones.

- Mutual grousing about how inconvenient Feelings are. These two sat at the bar in the Crow Club downing shots while Kaz laments that Inej left him to go adventuring and Kirigan tries to explain that Alina murdered him but he got better. Plenty of salty side-eye aimed at Wylan and Jesper, being cute and couply at the Makker's Wheel table.

- "...is that a De Kappel?" "It is. What of it?" "I met him, once. About thirty, thirty-five years ago. He came to paint Pyotr's wedding portrait." "My wraith procured that one for me." "Ugh, perhaps you could have her procure ours, as well. It's still hanging in the throne room. I'm tired of seeing his pug face every time I report to Nikolai."

#soc #kaz brekker #aleksander kirigan #listen i live for kaz/kirigan friendship they have so much in common #sab headcanons #sab

[corpsebasil]

Hi Pookies I've been working on a Nikolai x Hunger Games fanfic for a while and wanted to give you a preview before we wrap up Modern Nikolai. Lemme know your thoughts :)

Quick Info for help: Reader is 22 in this, Nikolai is 25. District 2. Takes place in Catching Fire and a bit after.

The victors are going back in.

The victors are going back in.

      You lurch off Nikolai’s lap and dash to the bathroom, your dinner rising up in your throat. You're barely inside the room, barely on your knees, before you're retching into the toilet.

"'The tributes will be reaped from the existing pool of victors.'"

Your body shakes as you vomit, both from the force of the tears rising and from being sick. Momentarily you register Nikolai beside you, his warm body wrapping around yours, his lips against your hair in an attempt to give you comfort. I don’t want to go back, you think. I don’t want to relive the horror. There are many victors in the pool from District Two but the knowledge that it will undoubtedly be you chosen has you unhinged.

You remember, suddenly, when you volunteered at fifteen. You had been raised believing that you would bring glory to your district by competing but, after winning, you felt like you'd lost a piece of yourself. No sane person would feel good after slaughtering children. Children. Nikolai had been your mentor, then. At nineteen he had tried his best to put you back together, a shell of a girl, and afterwards he’d been the only person you'd trusted besides Coen. Coen. Your lover. Your closest friend. After he died, you trusted no one but Nikolai.

“I can’t.” You say.

“I know.” He murmurs over your gasping.

“It’s not—”

“I know.”

“It’s not fair.”

But nothing is fair, is it?

You turn suddenly and look at him. Your fingers grasp his face with enough force to bruise but he doesn’t flinch or move away--he never has. His eyes, that familiar, gorgeous blue, stay locked on yours. Your hands cup his cheeks and bring his forehead to yours, your eyes squeezing shut. Nikolai lets out a ragged breath and holds you against him, one arm flushing the vile concoction down the toilet before scooping you onto his lap. He runs his hands over your hair and holds you, just holds you, until you calm down.

“You know you’ll be picked, right?” He whispers, but of course you know. Nikolai has never been one to sugar-coat things and he won’t do it now, God bless him. “These games will most likely be rigged. They’ll pick you on purpose because of—” He stops, but he doesn’t need to finish. Warner. The victor who killed Coen only five years ago.

He’ll be there too, you know it.

“I know.” You mumble.

“I’ll volunteer.”

“No.”

“I won’t let you go in there without me. You—”

“Damn it, Nikolai, no.” You snap and shove off him, standing up. You snatch up your toothbrush and try to ignore him, your entire body trembling. Then you realize—he won’t have to volunteer. If it’s rigged like he’s suggesting, then he’ll be there automatically because you love him and the Capitol knows it. You make a strangled sound and bend halfway over, your toothbrush shaking inside your mouth.

“Y/N...” Nikolai murmurs as you finish, drying off the toothbrush. The tears on your face are warm and salty when you turn to him, your eyes meeting his.

“I wanted you to live. I wanted us to live.” You say, your voice hoarse. That's the deal, isn't it? You fight and kill, you degrade yourself, your sell parts of yourself you can never get back, only for what? To be sent back to the slaughterhouse? No. No.

“You know that this is because of Katniss.”

Your body tenses and the old feeling of hatred rises up from when you watched her games. Because of Cato. Because of Clove. Because of every tribute that died in that arena, whether it was her fault or not. You can remember how much you despised her after she and Peeta were allowed to survive their games, but you feel as though this punishment is crafted uniquely for her. Two victors won’t make it out alive, now. Besides—she’s just a kid. Who are you to blame her for saving the boy she loves?

“I would’ve done the same thing for you.” You say weakly and he knows you're referring to the berries.

“You mean Coen.”

“No.” Your voice comes out harsher than you thought it would and Nikolai’s eyebrows furrow. “I would. For—for both of you.”

He watches you for a moment before taking your face in his hands. When he kisses you, you immediately think about how this might be one of the last few kisses you can share. One of the last few times he'll make you feel like you're melting into him. Nikolai presses warm and soft, gentle, loving kisses to your mouth. He pulls away and tugs you against his chest, his hands gripping you tightly.

“The difference between Katniss and I,” he says, tone gentle, “is that I would’ve killed myself in that arena if it meant your survival.”

HAPPPPPYYY HUNGA GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMES

#nikolai lantsov #shadow and bone #nikolai lantsov x reader #wattpad #fluff #nikolai x reader #knight nikolai lantsov #prince nikolai #catching fire #peeta mellark #katniss everdeen #katniss and peeta #thg #the hunger games

[zoeysdamn]

I had no choice - Knight!Nikolaï x reader

A/N: More angst for @corpsebasil AU? heck yes. Also I'm sorry in advance this was better in my head fjnkjrbg

Part 2 of this one-shot (tho you can also read it as a stand-alone)

Summary: You and your secret lover Sir Nikolaï got married in secret a few months ago. As the princess of Ravka, you can’t let this information become public right now. But what might happen if your hand is forced to reveal it? Are your royal duties more important than your union to your beloved knight? TW: angst, child neglect, slight violence, mention of blood and death in childbirth, angst, slut-shaming, dubious morals, mention of su!cide

It was easy, at first. The first months of your married life, albeit a secret one, had been blissful and lovely, and easy. There was the thrill of secrecy, the shared glances that now carried the bubbling emotions of newlyweds, the stolen kisses behind curtains, and the knowledge of returning to each other’s arms when the night would come. But after several months of this untainted happiness, reality slowly came back. It wasn’t a crashing realization, more like a creeping around your mind just like the insidious whispers in the corridors reaching your ears from time to time. Then came the crippling doubt. Nothing loud or really consistent, but quiet and haunting at every small moment of silence within your mind. What if someone knows? What if we weren’t that discreet? What of it then? You knew the answer to that last one, of course ; treason, trial, exile, maybe even execution for Nikolaï – perhaps even yourself. Ironically, the love Nikolaï showered you with was precisely what made you neglect those thoughts. It might have been a deliberate subconscious move too, to bury your own head in the sand instead of being practical. And that despite all of the warnings around you, that led you to the exact situation you currently were in. 

The day had started as usual though. You woke up in the arms of your lover – your husband – like any other day. It was always a bliss to look at the peaceful asleep face of Nikolaï, getting kissed by the first rays of sun like a delicate brush on a painting. You consider yourself lucky to be able to catch a glimpse of the handsome relaxed face of the knight every morning. Though it was always a matter of getting up before the maids came to your own adjacent chamber, Nikolaï always took the time to shower you with kisses to start his day ; you gladly returned the favor, by the way. Then the dreadful slipping away from his chamber, just to put back on the princess role once again. Getting dressed, getting breakfast, where you see Nikolaï again, dressed in his knight outfit this time. The day has gone by as usual, meeting with your ladies in waiting or dignitaries, walking around the palace gardens, Sir Nikolaï always close by as the dutiful bodyguard –  and devoted husband he was. Then during the afternoon tea, a guard showed up to whisper something to your beloved knight’s ears, to which he answered with a sharp nod. Polite as ever, he had excused himself to attend this military matter that requested his attention ; nothing out of the ordinary really, for the captain of the knights. 

The prospect of him leaving your side for a few hours had you pout a little, but the deception had been quickly washed away by the knowledge and secret promise of a later reunion in the wink Nikolaï secretly sent you before exiting the room. 

Really, everything had started as it always was. 

Then, out of the blue, two guards arrived in the tea room and asked to follow them, per your father’s request. It wasn’t something terribly surprising either, as the princess of Ravka the king could sometimes summon you ; so although it wasn’t planned, you weren’t surprised and you followed your father’s guards. Most of the palace guards were known by you, at least by face if not by name and Nikolaï’s words, but the king’s guards were a special case. Unlike the rest of the military, they didn’t serve Ravka, but the King only. And you were about to remember that very soon. 

“Father,” you greeted with a small courtesy as you entered the gilded room, “you had requested my presence?” 

The king lifted his nose from the paper he was reading. Despite all the etiquette lessons you had been through growing up, the first thought that came to your mind was that he was looking old. Decades of ruling a country and being an absent father does that to you, you supposed. All while you thought about it, you missed the somber look the monarch was giving. 

“Leave us,” he said sharply to the guards. Ever obedient, the two soldiers who escorted you swiftly left the room without a word. 

This made you frown slightly in confusion. “Is something wrong, father?” 

“What do you think?” he said sharply. “Why would I have summoned my useless child if everything was fine?” 

The sting of his words took you by surprise for a moment. Growing up, you knew the king didn’t like you – your mother was supposed to give birth to a boy after all. With no male heir and a wife who died shortly after giving birth, the King never bothered to hide his disdain for you, at least in private. You had learned to not be upset by it with the years, and by the time you were an adult you both ignored each other the most you could. The sudden verbal attack for years wasn’t expected. 

Squaring your shoulders for the incoming scolding, you tried to keep your voice as steady as you could. “What do you mean, sir?”

The king slammed his hand on the table out of anger, startling you. When he looked you dead in the eye with a look full of hate, you knew it was useless to try to resolve this issue with diplomacy. 

“Do you think of me deaf and blind, child?” he spat angrily. “Do you think of me stupid enough to not know everything that goes around in my own house?”

Gulping slowly, you tried to appease the situation. “Sir I–” 

“Do not talk back,” the king hissed as he sprung up from his chair. His face had turned redder in anger as yours paled. “Did you think you could go around my back like that?”

“Sir,” you said shakily, even though your voice tried to be steady, with all due respect, I really don’t know what you’re talking ab–”

The slap that echoed in the room cut the words out of your mouth before you could even blink. Add to that the surprise of the physical attack, and the force your father used on it, you lost balance and crashed on the floor. Your ears were ringing, head spinning as a hot, searing pain bloomed on your cheek. Trying to steady yourself on the hardwood floor, you barely even noticed the tears welling in your eyes at the shock. With a trembling hand, you reached for your bruised cheek ; a string of blood coated your fingers, fresh from the cut the sharp edge of the king’s rings had made when he slapped you. You felt your heart sink into your stomach at the sight: there was no coming back from this situation. 

“Don’t make yourself a liar atop of a whore, child”, the king seethed, glaring coldly at you. 

The words felt like a second punch, you almost snapped your neck looking up to him with wide eyes. The pathetic sight of the princess of Ravka on her knees with tears-filled eyes and bruised cheek made the monarch snicker in disgust. 

“Did you think I’d never found out about your ridiculous affair with that bastard? That saints-forsaken son of a bitch of a knight–”

“Leave him out of this,” you pleaded with a raspy voice. The tears were heavy in your eyes and voice, but you’ll be damned if you didn’t fight for Nikolaï’s honor just like he did for you. 

“I’ll have that filthy bastard’s head no matter how much you’ll beg,” sneered the king in disdain. “This is what you get when you spread your legs for the first knight in sight, you whore.”

The accusation hurt even more at the implication that you could have bedded any knight that had come across you ; Nikolaï was anything but a random knight. But your father hadn’t finished with you yet. 

“And it wasn’t enough for you to fuck him, you had to marry him,” he spat with a disgusted snarl. “Just how dumb are you? You had one role in this life, to marry according to my choice and nothing else! Who would ever marry a useless slut like you now, hmm?” 

Despite your firm intent to stand up for your love and union, you couldn’t help but feel a heavy lump of shame forming in your throat. Years of conditioning to your role as the princess of Ravka came to shame you: of course as a female heir, the only use you were supposed to have to the kingdom was to marry the most interesting party your father and his council would have chosen. But alas, you had failed this mission in favor of your heart’s choice. 

“You’re a disgrace to this kingdom and your family,” the king spat once again. “But as much ashamed as I am with you, I fortunately have a solution to make something acceptable for us.”

Snapping your head up from the floor, you stared at him with wide eyes, fearing what he would say. “What are you going to do?” you asked with a trembling voice. 

He tsked in annoyance. “Your little…fling is fortunately not known by anyone but me. I made sure of that after my spies reported your filthy sins to me.”

His words echoed in your mind once, twice, before a gasp escaped you when you realized his implications. “D-do you mean that…you had them killed?” you hiccuped. 

Once again your reaction seemed to only bring more irritation to the king, who only rolled his eyes. “Did you think I’d let anyone live with that knowledge? You have dragged our family’s honor through the dirt enough, I couldn’t let anyone spread a word about this.” He glanced at you to see tears roaming on your cheeks and let out a bitter huf. “This better be a lesson for you, you ungrateful child. Their deaths are because of you, and no one else.”

“No,” you whimpered, “this isn’t true, I never wished for their deaths–” 

“Enough!” the king barked, running short on his patience. “I will not hear one more word from your treacherous mouth! You will be confined in your room until I deemed so, and I can promise you that the only way for you to get out will be to be married to someone I chose to fix your mistakes!” 

Your eyes widened, causing more tears to roll on your cheeks. “You can’t do that!” you cried pathetically. “You can’t unmake vows made before the Saints–” 

Another rough slap cut you once again, and you gasped at the new attack. “Quiet! I don’t want to hear anything from you, whore!”. Just as you tried to ease the ringing of your head after the slap, your father forcefully grabbed your face to make you look up to his hateful eyes. “I may be unable to untie that heathen marriage of yours, but death most certainly can.”

His words tore an horrified gasp from your throat, but he carried on venomously. 

“I’ll have the head of Sir Nikolaï delivered to you on a silver platter as a wedding gift, as soon as that son of a bitch returns to the palace, do you understand me?” 

Against all of your might, you nodded your head weakly, tears roaming on your face. As soon as he got your understanding, the king yanked his hand off your face in disgust. As to prove a point, he immediately grabbed a handkerchief and wiped his hand clean; that’s the moment when you realized that something other than tears was dripping on your lips. When your trembling fingers brushed against your abused lip, you realized that was blood which dripped from your nose. 

The king shot you another disgusted glare. 

“Put yourself together, child.”

Like an automat, you clumsily managed to get up on wobbly legs, eyes lost into nothingness. You felt dizzy, numb, unable to think properly at the tragic turn of events in such a short amount of time. It was like your body acted on its own, whipping away the blood that had tickled down your face with the back of your hand in a very unlady-like manner. It didn’t matter though, considering your father had already turned his back to you to look at the window, signaling this was the end of this dreadly entrevue. 

“This conversation never happened to anyone but us,” he stated coldly. “Am I being clear?” 

Somehow your body responded on its own – even more surprisingly, your father seemed to have seen you nod ; or perhaps he had expected you to react like the obedient puppet you had been trained to be. You barely even noticed him calling for one of his guards and the said guard entering the room. 

“Take the princess back to her rooms,” he ordered coldly. “She is to be kept there under some of my personnel guard’s surveillance at all times until I say otherwise. No one but a few personal maids is to enter, am I understood?”

Whether the guard had answered or not didn’t matter, you wouldn’t have heard them anyway. Too lost in your own foggy, broken mind, you barely even be conscious of your own moving through the halls of the palace to your room, nor the looming presence of the watching guard. It was only when they let you inside of your room, and you heard the lock of the door, that the full realization of the situation sank in with a crash. 

Tears that had previously dried up came back flooding on your cheeks and you felt like you were suffocating. Trembling and dizzy, you had to lean on the wall for support as you cried. How did all of this happen? 

Nikolaï and you had always shown the utmost discretion, of course ; you knew the risks. No one had witnessed your wedding but the priest who had officiated it. As a man of the church, he was sworn to secrecy, you had an absolute trust in him. Embraces, kisses and passion had always been confined to the privacy of your chambers – much to both your disappointment and safety. Outside and for everyone’s eyes, you became the princess and Sir Nikolaï once again and nothing more. So how did everything go so wrong, so fast? 

Shaky fingers went to clutch the ring looped on the thin chain around your neck. Oh, how you wished Nikolaï was here with you at the moment. You craved his presence, his comfort and his love. He would have known how to comfort you, how to find a solution. But he wasn’t by your side, and the moment he’d come back would be his ultimate demise. A sob wrecked your body ; you probably wouldn’t even be able to see your love, your husband one last time. 

You spent the next half hour crying, whimpering, curled on the ground against the wall. The gash in your heart couldn’t stop bleeding, forbidden to heal due to the absence of Nikolaï and the tragic upcoming of his inevitable death. Despair clung onto your soul, embedding itself to the deepest parts of yourself. Never in your life, especially after your wedding, you would have thought you’d feel like that again. 

Being the princess of Ravka never prevented to have an abusive parent, you knew that better than anyone. Insults and slaps had been frequent when you were a child, whether it was for a silly mistake on your part or simply your father having a bad day. The king never forgave you for your mother’s death and you being a girl ; his parental affection had been buried deep down in the ground at the same time as your mother, it had seemed. But the years had passed, and you had learned to know better than to expect any love from the king, and to avoid his rageful fits by making yourself useful. Being a political asset by mastering the art of negotiation and diplomacy had smoothed your relationship with the king ; until today, it had been years since he last raised his hand on you. 

“Your majesty?”

You jumped in surprise, startled by the sudden voice in your room. Snapping your head up, your tear-filled eyes met your maid’s worried ones. 

“Are you alright, your majesty?”

The lump in your throat only felt heavier. That girl was blessedly unaware of the torment you had been thrown into. A wobbly lip and tear-stained cheeks wouldn’t fool anyone, yet you nodded weakly. 

“Not really,” you rasped. 

The frown of concern on the maid’s face only worsened, just to be cut by a gasp at the inspection of your own face. “You’re bleeding! Have you been hurt?” 

Brushing your fingers against your nose once again you gulped at the sight of blood once again. Your father definitely didn’t go easy on you this time. 

“Help me up,” you mumbled weakly, to which the maid obeyed promptly. 

As a contrast to your tired numbness, the poor servant fussed in anxiety, helpless and worried about her mistress’ state. She led you to sit on a vanity, you could hear her from a distance talking about soothing tea or something. As she busied herself your eyes wandered to the reflecting surface in front of you. A wave of nausea and tears rises when you lock eyes with your reflection: half-disheveled hair and red eyes, cheeks red from both the slaps and the tears, a bloody nose and dread sinking into your bones. The woman in the mirror is someone you never thought you’d see one day – or again. 

Suddenly, all the sadness and sorrow morphed into something else. Disgust. Fear. Anger. Rage. Everything bubbled inside of your chest, craving a way to get out. As your eyes wandered, trying to get a hold of something real to ground you, they landed on a little box covered in dust. Hidden behind bottles and jewel boxes, you hadn’t touched it for years. 

The sight was like an electroshock; all of the sudden, you remembered what was inside of that box. And then all of those emotions raging inside you turned into even more: resignation. 

“Alyosha?”

The maid immediately rushed to your side in worry. “Yes my lady?” 

“I need you to deliver a message for me.” 

The sun was starting to set when a knock echoed on your door. Given the context, the faintest sound should be startling you with the fear of dreadful news. But you knew exactly who it was, so you invited them to enter. 

The sound of armored steps on the wooden floor and the locking of the door hang heavy in the air. 

“You requested my presence, your majesty?”

You turned around to face the knight who had entered your room. Where you usually expected blonde curls and a loving smile, you met the dark hair and stern face of Sir Dominik Vertov. 

“Indeed,” you said quietly – and way more calmly than you had thought barely a few hours before. “I thank you for coming, Sir Dominik.” 

Polite and composed as ever, he only squared his shoulders. “It’s my watch, princess.” 

Unlike his childhood friend Nikolaï, Dominik had been promoted to the King’s guard after his duties during the war. Nikolaï had been offered that place too ; he refused. 

Your lover had admitted several times that he missed his best friend. Even if they both had their duties in the palace, they didn’t meet quite as often as they used to. But today, you were relieved that he and dominik had partied ways, for it may be your only chance now. 

“I’m still thankful for your presence,” you said carefully. When you asked your maid to deliver a message to Sir Dominik, asking him to meet with you as quickly as possible and in the utmost discretion, you weren’t so sure he’d agree to it. After all, you were only the princess ; his allegiance laid with the king, not you. 

Like reading your thoughts, the knight gave you a pointed look. This made your throat tighten; there was no need beating around the bush any further. 

Taking a deep exhale, you unfold the words you had thought on for hours earlier. 

“I have something to ask of you,” you started, careful to keep your voice as steady as you could. “This isn’t something easy, and I know there is no way for me to repay you for that, or even ask your forgiveness for.” 

The knight frowned slightly at your words, both curious and perplexed. What was so terrible you could ask of him? Several answers came to his mind, some terrible, some absurds, but you soon cut off his train as thoughts as you declared: 

“I need you to help me to take someone’s life.”

That definitely wasn’t something he expected. Dominik raised an intrigued eyebrow. “With all due respect princess, I’m not sure killing someone can solve any problem you might have.”

“Believe me, it is,” you insisted gravely. 

“I’m not a thug for hire –”

“It’s a matter of saving Nikolaï’s life,” you cut him, a little louder. At your words, Dominik stopped his rambling and looked at you with wide eyes. 

After a few seconds of the initial shock – both of the prospect of his friend being in danger and the princess calling him by his first name, he recomposed himself. “What do you mean?”

You gulped, feeling more nervous and your will faltering at every passing second. But you had to be strong, for Nikolaï. 

“What I’m going to tell you can’t be known by anyone,” you said quietly. “Should you turn down your help on me, you have to at least swear to not tell a soul.”

The knight looked more and more confused, but strangely agreed to this. So with a deep inhale and a turn to the window, you dropped the bomb. 

“A few months ago, Nikolaï and I got married in secret,” you confessed quietly, wrenching your hand together nervously. A soft gasp was heard from Dominik, but you still couldn’t bring yourself to face him. “We started a romantic relationship around a year ago, which no one knew about. Or so I thought until today.” 

You could practically hear the churns turning in Sir Dominik’s head. He would be fast to understand the situation, surely. 

“Someone found out,” he deduced out loud, and you nodded. “And you don’t want to be exposed.”

You whipped around at his underlying accusation. “This isn’t about my pride or reputation! If I had to throw everything away, my name, my titles and prices to be able to be with Nikolaï freely, I’d do it in a blink of an eye!” 

This took him aback slightly. Even if he was a royal guard, Dominik never thought nicely of high-born morals. Even less to someone like Nikolaï and him. And that’s why he was now more concerned than ever. 

“...who knows?” he asked after a few moments of silence. This time you faced him, and you could read the real question: who has to die? 

The weight in your stomach got heavier, even if you had made your peace with this inevitability. “Someone who has the power to order his death,” you muttered. 

You couldn’t say out loud that the king was the target ; who knows who could be listening? 

As soon as it clicked in his head, Dominik’s previously composed face turned into a mix of horror and disgust. 

“This can’t– you don’t mean – “

“It’s a heavy task I’m asking, I know,” you muttered. 

“It’s not that!” the knight snapped. “You’re asking me to be accomplice of regicide, princess,” he whispered through gritted teeth, careful not to be heard.” 

“I know,” you repeated in a quiet, yet steady voice. “But I also know that the king doesn’t make threats lightly.”

Dominik looked down; he was aware of that. 

You turned to your vanity to retrieve the dusty little box. Once full of colors, it was now a faded crackled porcelain. But it was also what may be your salvation. Opening it, you carefully took a small velvet pouch, barely bigger than a thumb and returned to where the knight was standing. Dominik raised an eyebrow at you when you handed the pouch to him. 

“What is it?”

“What might earn Nikolaï the right to live,” you answered cryptically. At the frown of incomprehension from the man, you could only offer him a sorry smile. “Pour it in my father’s wine, it’ll be a quick death. It’s the safest way of ending this.”

“For who, for you?” he snorted, throwing a disgusted look at the pouch of poison. “Having someone else killing your father because he had been mean to you and is forcing you to a divorce?”

His words felt like a slap once again, and your face darkened. “Divorce isn’t an option for the king,” you hissed, “It’s Nikolaï’s head he wants.”  

Saying it out loud made you choke on your own words. Hearing the threat clearly from your father was one thing; realizing the actual danger by saying it yourself was something else. Dominik too, had his eyes widened at the statement. He thought that Nikolaï would have been imprisoned for his crimes, maybe whipped. But death? The king was cruel but he never thought he’d go to such lengths on one of the most faithful knights in the kingdom. 

“Please,” you begged, your voice wavering as tears threatened to spill, “I can’t live without him. If anyone happened to Nikolaï I would never forgive myself.”

Sir Dominik didn’t respond. Stepping closer, you handed him the pouch once again, with trembling hands. 

“If not for me, do it for him,” you whispered weakly. “I’m begging you to help me to save the man we both love.”  

A beat passed. Then, the knight slowly reached for the pouch. As you felt it leaving your hand, it was like a weight in your heart was lifted at the same time. Sir Dominik stared at the small pouch for long seconds. 

“How will this work?” he asked quietly. 

You tried your best to not let out a relieved sigh. “Pour it into any liquid. It’ll be over after an hour or so.” 

The knight nodded. “Any signs that might alert doctors before he…passes?”

You shook your head. “It’s supposed to be painless. Not easily noticeable either after the death, for what I’ve been told.” 

Looking up at you, Dominik frowned slightly. “You were awfully well prepared for this situation, it seems.”

The new underlying accusation didn’t upset you like before. Instead, you just smiled sadly. 

“It was never supposed to be for the king,” you said with a tint of sadness, to which he frowned even more. “Poison is said to be a women’s weapon but people often forget it might also be a painless way out for some of us.” 

Dominik’s eyes widened at your words. Sensing his confusion, you darted your eyes away, the sting of long-gone memories coming back. 

“Noble titles and gold never stopped anyone abusing their child,” you muttered bitterly. “No matter how fine your clothes and manners are, being called and treated like the utmost failure half of your life can make the strongest minds sink.” 

You let out a shaky breath, trying to get a grip on your trembling hands. No matter how many years had passed, you still remembered every single slap and punch your father had thrown at you behind closed doors. 

Raising your head a little higher to gather courage, you turned back to face the flabbergasted knight. “Thankfully I had a wet-nurse who saw through it. After patching another wound, she blessed me with this.”

“Blessed you?” he frowned. 

“What other choice did I have as a woman?” you ask sadly, and you knew by the way he looked away that he understood. “It’s only a fair thing to finally use it to end this cycle of violence.” 

“At what cost?” 

“Thankfully not Nikolaï’s life,” you countered quietly. “But…I’m sincerely sorry it’ll cost yours.”

Dominik nodded solemnly. He knew this; as one of the king’s guards, he was among the very few people who could approach him. Maybe this poison won’t alert anyone at first, but the suspicion of assassination would soon rise. The list of suspects would be very small, and it would be only a matter of time before Dominik would be arrested for treason if someone figured things out. 

So he’ll have to flee. Abandon his rank as a king’s knight, his reputation, his life. All of this to be replaced by the brand of traitor and murderer. He was willing to do it. Of course he was. Nikolaï had saved his life during the war countless times, and above that he was his best friend, his brother. If he had to run away and live a life of fugitive for the rest of his days in order to save Nikolaï, he’d do it in a heartbeat. No matter how serious the crime could be. 

“I’ll be on the road as soon as it’s done,” he muttered, more to himself than anything. 

You nodded slowly. The guilt that was sinking in your stomach made bile rise in your throat. “Do you…have someone who would come with you?” you asked quietly. If the man who helped you had to run, you sure would do anything to help him. But Dominik shook his head. 

“We don’t have much time,” he simply said. “Nikolaï and his men are said to be back tomorrow. It’ll be done tonight.”

Again, you nodded, afraid that tears could fall if you spoke. Dominik straightened his back, and bowed.  

“It’s been an honor to serve this family, princess. I shall bring with me the comfort of knowing my best friend has a woman like you by his side.”

The small smile stretching your lips at his words was a sad one. “I’ll be forever in your debt, Sir Dominik. You’re a good man.”

He offered you a sorry smile as he lifted himself up again. Both of you knew nothing would ever be the same after this night. Now bound by the terrible secret of what will come, in order to save Nikolaï. 

So without a word, he made his way to the door. Just when he was about to open it, the knight stopped himself and looked back at you. 

“Are you really willing to kill a king for a mere knight?” 

The answer, although heavy with consequence, was immediate. 

“I deeply believe that every life is equal beyond our birth and titles, Sir Dominik.”

That made him smile. “You’ll make a fine ruler one day, princess.”

You thanked him with a bow of your head. He returned it and then, quietly, slipped away from your chamber. No one heard the door click, nor did they notice a missing horse from the stables a few hours later in the dark of the night. 

That night, laying in your bed, you kept your eyes open until daylight to let the last few tears of guilt run down your cheeks, thinking about the lives you has sacrificed for you love.  

The crashing news of the king’s death came before Nikolaï returned to the palace. 

It was a valet who discovered him, laying in his chair with eyes half closed and skin cold. Words spread fast as a doctor was hurried to the king’s side, and by the time the rumor had reached the kitchen, the monarch was confirmed dead. 

A heart seizure, the royal doctor told you after he was brought to your chambers with a somber look to deliver the news. The tears and cries that escaped you hearing your father’s death were genuine, and everyone saw how deep their princess was affected. Truth was, those tears weren’t for the king; they were for Sir Dominik, the knight who had now abandoned everything to save your husband. Now the poor man was doomed to a fugitive existence, and you weren’t sure if somehow you could forgive yourself that. 

The mournful look and tears did the trick anyway. Everyone was looking at you with sorry eyes for the past days, and cladded in your black clothes you played the role of the mourning princess to perfection. Two days after your father died, Nikolaï came back to the palace. 

As soon as he stepped down his horse, a servant hurried to deliver him the news. It was all it took him to rush through the palace’s corridors and to your room. He bursted into your chambers unannounced, panting and face painted with worry, but it vanished as soon as he landed his eyes on you. Before you could rise up from the chair you had been reading on, your husband engulfed you in a bone-crushing hug. 

Both of you clung on each other like your lives depended on it – and somehow, they were. You could even feel Nikolaï’s hand shaking in emotion. After a long, much-needed minute of embrace, he lifted his head from your neck to have a look at you. 

“Are you alright?” he asked in worry, searching on your face for any sign of discomfort – apart from grief. 

Instead of answering, you were staring at him, beaming. Every single detail of his handsome face, even painted with worry, sent a flood of relief through your body. He was back, he was here, he was alive. Your husband had come back to you alive and well, while you had feared the opposite for the past days. What was grief and guilt until then turned into joy and warm relief. 

“I am now,” you finally whispered, still not quite believing Nikolaï was here at last. 

The knight let out a shaky breath he didn’t know he was holding. Taking your hands with his, he held you close to him. “I’m sorry about your father’s passing, my love,” he said sincerely. 

You could only offer him a tight smile. Nikolaï didn’t know what your father had done during your childhood. As he never lifted his hand on you for years, Sir Nikolaï had never been around to witness such tragedy. And you never wanted to share this with him; you and him deserved better than those plaguing memories. 

Right now all you needed was the comfort of your husband’s arms, just to prove to yourself that everything had not been in vain. 

Soon, when the time of mourning would be done, you’d publicly announce your engagement to Sir Nikolaï. Being a well-renowned and popular knight would play in your favor, the council would be glad to have him as the prince consort next to Ravka’s new queen. Soon, you both would be free to be married once again and be never afraid of loving each other again. 

Soon, everytime you’d see Nikolaï’s face and smile, you’d convince yourself that it had been worth every sacrifice and lie. When the guilt would creep up on your mind during sleepless nights, you’d face them with the knowledge and conviction that you had no choice. Even if that meant losing good men or forcing fate. 

Nikolaï might have been your bodyguard before becoming your husband, but as his wife you’d burn down entire cities and behead dozens of kings to keep him safe. That was a promise and a choice you’d intend to keep at any cost.

sorry it sounded better in my head *sob*

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagine #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai x reader #sir nikolaï #knight!nikolai #knight nikolai lantsov #angst #nikolai lantsov angst

[bakerstreethound]

Read before Requesting - General Guidelines

This is long overdue, but welcome to the alleyway guidelines! First things first, I can never guarantee when a request will be fulfilled or that I can match it to exactly how you’re wanting it as I have to allow my creative liberty to take hold and come in to play. Regardless, these requests are ultimately in place to make my job easier.

Before requesting, please provide the following through my asks. If you request through my messages (DMs), I may not see it. Also please don’t be demanding, us fic writers are only human after all and a greeting and “please” and “thank you” go a long way (: Also, please don’t forget to comment or reblog, it really helps encourage and motivate me to write more, plus I love hearing your thoughts! 

IN YOUR REQUEST, please provide the following:

~ the fandom/character ~ genre/mood (ex. fluff, angst, etc.) ~ any tropes (ex. friends to lovers, one bed, etc.)

Note: If requesting an x reader fic, please specify gender if desired. Otherwise fic will be written in 2nd POV (You). I never utilize Y/N in any of my work so 2nd person POV (You) is always implemented. 

Who I am currently writing for 

Fandoms 

BBC Sherlock: (Sherlock Holmes {also the variations of Strawberry Sherlock / Victorian Sherlock})

The Sandman: Morpheus (Dream of the Endless) & The Corinthian 

Good Omens: Anthony Crowley (David Tennant)

Star Wars: Din Djarin (The Mandalorian), Boba Fett, and Poe Dameron 

Star Trek (aos): Khan Noonien Singh 

Stranger Things: Steve Harrington & Eddie Munson

Marvel: The Moon Knight System, Dr. Stephen Strange, and Yelena Belova

The School for Good and Evil (Netflix): Rafal and Rhian Mistral (only at my discretion. I only write them when inspiration strikes).

Shadow & Bone/Six of Crows: General Kirigan (The Darkling/Aleksander),  Jesper Fahey, Nikolai Lantsov, Matthias Helvar, (Kaz Brekker? - still uncertain)  

What I will write 

My fics are reader inserts, where the reader is female, afab, or gender neutral. I write fluff, hurt/comfort, and angst. When I am in the mood I can write smut, but it’s more focuses on the intimacy between the characters and not the explicit act itself (this is what you get from an asexual writer haha. If you need to see examples, you can go through my masterlist) 

Off limits, no go, what I absolutely will not write 

(TW) non-cub/dub-con, A/B/O, underage sex, incest, abuse/harrasement, eating disorders or where a character contemplates suicide or self-harm. Most of my fics revolve a lot around the reader being romantically involved, so I won’t write parent/child fics. 

******

ALSO if I receive a request I feel I am not able to write or that makes me uncomfortable, it is within my right to not write it out. (I don’t mean to come off as rude, but it has to be said, regardless). 

Again, I cannot guarantee when your fic request will be written or published. Life tends to happen, and my posting varies by day so I cannot guarantee a publishing date either because of this. Thank you for your understanding! 

Special thanks to @frostandflamesfanfic​ and @starks-hero​ for whose own request rules I drew inspiration from. xoxo

#bakerstreethound #request rules #ace's request rules #request rules masterlist #rules of the alleyway #ace's alleyway

[criesinliess]

━APRIL 2023; susan's recs

FATE: THE WINX SAGA

━━RIVEN

i’m jealous of the way @imkylotrash

hold my girl @↑

call me back @randomimaginesforrandompeople

scared to death @↑

little sister @↑

one-on-one @novawrts

HARRY POTTER

━━GEORGE WEASLEY

it takes two @ickle-ronniekins

━━ DRACO MALFOY

just friends — masterlist @bwbatta

━━FRED WEASLEY

selfish @george-fabian-weasley

━━OLIVER WOOD

blind to it @heloisedaphnebrightmore

MARAUDERS ERA

━━SIRIUS BLACK

all your fault @heloisedaphnebrightmore

absurd ideas @↑

crimes of jealousy @↑

gentle seduction @↑

cause i don't want you like a best friend @evermoreal

━━JAMES POTTER

five times james wanted to kiss you and the one time he did @moonlitmeeks

hey, james! @heloisedaphnebrightmore

LOCKWOOD & CO

━━ANTHONY LOCKWOOD

knight in shining armour @givemea-dam-break

the poltergeist @↑

jealousy @↑

how to dance @↑

hidden by the new stars @↑

stunning @vi-trying-to-survive

you can hear it in the silence @tangledinlove

just another love song @↑

pretty boy @maraschinomerry

GRISHAVERSE

━━KAZ BREKKER

he just sounds like that @amsgrey

of antidotes @honeyfict

dense @↑

love language @genyakosstyk

dive into the waves below @↑

of kings @yelenasbraid

everything @theowritesstuff

deathly fever @webslinger-holland

another dream @↑

take it slow @amsgrey

━━NIKOLAI LANTSOV

yours no more @theowritesstuff

wanting was enough @genyakosstyk

OUTER BANKS

━━RAFE CAMERON

dating john b's sister @a-aexotic

midsummers @butgilinsky

blueberry pancakes @↑

tension @↑

and isn't it just so pretty to think? @folkloreslovechild

heartbroke bitch; guess you really did it this time; kiss for kiss, heart for heart; a crack in the glass @fandomxpreferences

dirty litte secret @↑

passenger princess @sunraies

cupcakes and rainstorms @↑

fair play @laiiaaa

dancing with our hands tied @forevermoreharrington

━━JJ MAYBANK

hot for a pogue @butgilinsky

the last year @↑

the part where you kiss me @laiiaaa

THE BEAR

━━CARMY BERZATTO

sink in @nymphlamp

TOP GUN: MAVERICK

━━BRADLEY 'ROOSTER' BRADSHAW

delirium @kyber-crystal

head in the clouds @↑

MARVEL

━━BUCKY BARNES

the last first kiss @witchywithwhiskey

almost believing @intrepidacious

insomnia @↑

first date, last night @↑

not even a little @↑

heal me, baby @↑

━━STEVE ROGERS

moving on @intrepidacious

━━LOKI LAUFEYSON

clouded judgement @heloisedaphnebrightmore

silly misgardian @↑

SCHOOL SPIRITS

━━WALLY CLARK

hopes and fears @general-fanfiction

i want to help @anthemabby

STRANGER THINGS

━━STEVE HARRINGTON

love her too @divine17

#susan's recs #fics recs #riven x reader #george wealsey x reader #draco malfoy x reader #fred weasley x reader #oliver wood x reader #sirius black x reader #james potter x reader #anthony lockwood x reader #kaz brekker x reader #nikolai lantsov x reader #rafe cameron x reader #jj mayback x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #bradley 'rooster' bradshaw x reader #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader #loki laufeyson x reader #wally clark x reader #steve harrington x reader

[dangerously-human]

💬💬💬

For you, an emphasis on some SGA fics!

From one of my Sparktober fics, (Don't) Hurry Back:

“Promise me—” she starts, and he’s about to start in on her for the dead man talk when he notices her face has broken into a grin, “— that you will never let Rodney hear that I called him a knight in shining armor.”

From One More, a Nikolina parenthood fic:

She lets out a heavy sigh. “You’re lucky I love you,” she grumbles.

Shirt halfway over his head, Nikolai lets out a slightly muffled laugh. “Undeniably, yes, but I do believe this request is part of the job description,” he points out. “To you, the throne may have been merely a concession to worm your way into my bed, but the Ravkan people expect—” He cuts off when the cosmetic bottle Alina launched at him glances off the headboard behind him, which only furthers his mirth.

“My own wife, plotting regicide all this time! I’m wounded. Tell me, was it ever real between us, or did you accept the Lantsov emerald just to get close enough to kill me?”

“Honestly, I don’t know why I put up with you.” 

“Different sort of adventures than you anticipated when you whisked Ravka’s handsomest privateer off the seas?”

“Certainly seems like there’d be fewer odious lunch dates as a pirate bride,” Alina readily agrees. 

From The Sandwich, a Rodney and Radek drabble:

"Far be it from me to question food, but...?"

"You've been holed up in here for eighteen hours, enamored with your own cleverness." Before Rodney can finish his extreme-sport eyeroll, Zelenka adds, "Didn't want you to faint again. Bad for team morale."

"I passed out!"

"From manly hunger, yes, we've all heard..."

#personal #writer probs: fanfic edition #stargate #stargate atlantis #grishaverse

[dreamsingcld]

“words and ideas change the world.”

☾ ⋆*･ﾟel • twenty • latina • she/her ･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

- obsessed with the moon, baking, reading, painting, and morally grey characters. bucky barnes stan <3

- follows, likes, replies, etc. come from different blog.

- sports blog : @.klavertz

- this is a multi-fandom blog. interests + what i post about most often can be found under the cut !

tv shows :

⤷ the falcon and the winter soldier, gilmore girls, moon knight, new girl, shadow and bone (nikolai lantsov my beloved fr), stranger things, ted lasso, other mcu series.

movies :

⤷ mcu movies, star wars movies, the princess bride, pride and prejudice, dead poets society, moulin rouge !, mamma mia ! + mamma mia ! here we go again.

music :

⤷ greta van fleet, queen, my chemical romance, måneskin, the clash, abba.

musicals :

⤷ newsies, anastasia, in the heights, moulin rouge !, tuck everlasting.

misc :

⤷ unus annus, batfam, oscar wilde, jane austen, literature in general, the moon, art, football (i am unfortunately an atleti stan /j), the casts of some shows/movies <3

#pinned post #el speaks