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#killer dinner
bestoftweets · 2 months
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marluoo · 11 days
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I wonder what he’s excited about
audio from penguinz0 (yt)
(I badly edited the audio just to make him sound like nightmare)
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quitebashfulexe · 4 months
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The domestic comics are taking over >:)
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akalegos · 11 days
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weekend house parties at bgc...
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authormeat · 10 months
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Late Night Poker
Inspired Picture Under Cut
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ohbo-ohno · 7 months
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if the 1k game is still open, I’d like to throw in my two cents!
Ghost (or Ghoap) with Forest and Only (allotted amount of time) to escape before (bad thing happens)
I’m sure there’s plenty of ways to go with that!~ please take your time and remember to drink water today!!!!!
~🦋
1k game here - no more please!
i will drink water just for you babe. also i did ghoap x reader & forest & trying to escape, but ended up not including an allotted amount of time, hope that's alright!
1.5k of ghost watching soap and reader run from him during a zombie apolocypse. except the apolocypse is really more of a background thing and i just throw in mentions of zombies. no smut! (cw for a very brief mention of cannibalism, a sprained then broken ankle, kidnapping, and very light puppyplay at the end)
"You fucking idiot, Johnny," you hiss. "You're gonna get us killed!"
"Me?" He snarls, whirling around to glare at you, hackles raised. "You're fuckin' shoutin' like you want the bastard to find us!"
"Shhh! Could you be any louder?!"
"You goddamned feartie, I hope he kills you first!"
"What the fuck did you just call me?!"
Ghost just barely manages to bite back a laugh at your offended tone, the way you're nearly spitting at Johnny, even at nearly a foot shorter than him. It's like watching a kitten try and fight a dog - cute, but you know the dog could crush the kitten if things went a little too far.
But Simon doesn't mind watching you hiss and spit at Johnny, certainly doesn't see a need to step in any time soon.
He hadn't expected to find much more than a few corpses when the motion sensor around his property triggered an alarm in his base. He figured it was probably a few zombies, easy enough to deal with.
But then he spotted the two of you - a big Scotsman and his far smaller girl, bickering playfully and totally unaware of him in the shadows.
Originally he'd planned to kill the two of you. He's got enough food stored to make it through the winter, so he wouldn't have to bother with freezing your bodies for later. It would be almost comically easy to kill you, take a couple shots from far enough away that you'd never see them coming, drag your bodies off his property, and forget all about you.
But then Johnny - who's name he only knows because you use it frequently - had spotted him. And wasn't that interesting? It's been a long time since someone managed to spot Ghost while he was trailing them.
He'd noticed Johnny's injury soon after that. The two of you had taken off running - he's not sure why, but apparently you haven't had the best experience with strangers - and Johnny had limped beside you, his right ankle clearly giving him trouble.
That was near sunrise. Now, there's an hour or two before the sunsets.
Simon would like to have the two of you in his base before night falls. No point in risking losing one of you to a zombie, not when you're already vulnerable.
He's been herding the two of you in the right direction since about noon. The two of you had picked the right direction to run, almost making it fully out of Ghost's territory before he started redirecting you. It was easy to land a few shots in the dirt in front of you, send the pair of you scrambling in another direction.
You're closer to his base than either of you realize. Ghost's muscles twitch at the realization, the thought of having the two of you locked up fueling his adrenaline.
He already knows you'll both put up a good fight. He can't wait to see which one of you gives in first. He thinks it might be Johnny, can already picture the man being good after seeing how Ghost might treat you.
He tunes back into your argument as the land becomes more familiar, unable to resist smirking as he sees the path that Johnny's about to walk.
"I told you we should've been more on the lookout for other people."
"Don't even start! Ye know as well as me that the bastard came out of nowhere, don't act like we woulda seen him anyway."
"Well, now we'll never know."
"Exactly! So why're you still naggin' me about it?"
"Oh, really, I'm nagging? Really, Johnny?"
"Yes! What, you think saying it twice makes it less true?"
"Oh, fuck you, honestly, I don't even know why I bother helping you."
Johnny laughs, loud and very obviously fake. "You're helpin' me? Oh, now you've really lost it, lass. I've been dragging dead weight since this whole thing started! You know, I'm getting awful tired of-"
Johnny's just a few steps away, make that final little stretch as he talks, and Ghost holds his breath, waits....
Bam. Before he can finish his complaint, he's yanked into the air. His bad ankle is wrapped up tight in rope, a trap tugging that leg into the air and leaving his torso resting on the ground.
He grunts loudly, though not as loudly as Ghost had expected with his injury.
"Holy shit!" You nearly shout, rushing to Johnny's side and abandoning your argument. "Fuck, are you alright?"
The Scot makes a half-wheezed sound of affirmation, eyes squeezed shut.
"Fuck, alright, don't move. I'll get you out, alright?"
Before you can figure out how to make that happen, Simon steps out of the treeline. You catch sight of him immediately, eyes going wide as you clearly fight the urge to run and abandon your partner. You just barely manage to stop yourself, shifting into what looks like it's meant to be a defensive possession.
Ghost tilts his head, smirks behind the mask. "Where do you think you're goin'?"
Johnny's face is twisted in pain, leaving you to respond. "We don't mean any harm, alright? Just... just let me get him down, and we'll go."
Simon slings his rifle off his back, holds it casually in his arms. The way your hands twitch, the panic streaking across Johnny's expression... fuck, it gets him hard.
"Why would I let you do that?"
There's a little furrow between your brows, and Johnny starts to really squirm in is bindings.
"We won't tell anyone about you," you try, inching around Johnny's prone form. "Promise. You let us go, you'll never have to see us again."
That, Simon thinks, is the problem.
He hauls his gun up, takes quick aim, and shoots the rope tying Johnny up before either of you can properly panic. You both still scream when the branch falls, clattering to the ground on top of Johnny.
You're quick to help him up, your argument apparently entirely forgotten as you let him lean most of his body weight on your shoulders.
Ghost slings the gun back over his shoulder, pulling a length of rope out of his pocket. "Both of you, on your knees. Hands behind your heads, eyes closed."
"Oy." Johnny tries to move in front of you, but his now mangled ankle has to be kept completely off the ground for him to even stay standing. "You can't... we'll go, like she said. Promise, mate."
"Knees."
He'd be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed neither of you put up even a bit of fight. But he doesn't complain as he watches you fall to the ground first, letting Johnny use you to help himself.
"Good," Simon hums when you both settle, forms stiff but in the correct position. "Either one of you even twitches, I'll break your legs and leave you for the zombies."
You both shudder at that, and Ghost feels his cock throb in his jeans. He adjusts himself, then steps forward with the rope.
He's quick, not giving either of you time to properly react. You both get a matching loop of rough rope tied around your necks, just tight enough that the skin is already rubbed a bit raw, just from the initial tie.
"Don't move," Simon growls when Johnny jerks away, gripping the man's wrists and tugging them in front of him. "You want to die out here? Watch your little girlfriend get eaten alive?"
He flushes, teeth gritted in what's probably a mix of rage and pain. Sweat drips down his face, streaking through the filth. "She's not my girl."
"Johnny," you hiss, shifting restlessly on your knees. "Seriously?"
"What? Yer not."
"Is that really what you want to be focusing on right now?"
"Oh, would ye rather talk about the goddamn collar and leashes the bastard's given us?"
Ghost gives said leash a rough tug for that, finishing off the loops around Johnny's wrist and moving in front of you. "The bastard's right here."
You sit still, eyes still closed and limbs loose as you let him move your arms around. Johnny's the one who starts squirming, scowl deepening. "Really? Couldnae tell."
"Lotta sass from a man wearing a leash." Ghost yanks it again, nearly sending Johnny sprawling to the ground. He just manages to catch himself on his bound hands, and Simon finishes off yours.
He steps back, holding the length of rope stretching from your necks in one hand. He tugs solidly, smirks when you both stand as quickly as you can. "Up, now. Time to go home."
He doesn't spare either of you a glance, turning around and starting the rest of the journey home. He shows a bit of kindness, keep his pace slow since he can hear the way Johnny's breathing grows more ragged, hear his limp against the dead leaves.
Neither of you tug or try to run away, and Ghost can't help but smile at the obedience. He mentally crosses leash training off his to-do list. He had been looking forward to that one, but he's sure there'll be plenty of other interesting experiences with the two of you.
He's never trained two pets at once. He can't wait to see how it goes.
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call-me-strega · 9 days
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Mating Dances of Moths vs. Bats - Dead on MAYn 2024
Day 1 - Sunday the 19th - Late Upload
Trope | Courting Rituals, Word | Flickering, Situation | Dinner is interrupted by a rogue/gang fight, Dialogue | “Are they gone yet?”
Ao3 Link
~~~
Killer Moth wanted revenge. For too long he had been labeled a D-list villain who was taken out by a rookie Batgirl. For too long had he been mocked and scorned by the villain community. Well no more! With the technology he had paid someone to developed he would show them all why they should fear The Killer Moth!
~
Large moths the size of cows are flying through Gotham. They flit through the air latching onto buildings, shaking in strange patterns, and causing property damage. They zoomed over crowds of people causing mass panic and hysteria. And that's not to mention the falling moth excrement. Above the city, ineffectively trying to control them, stood Killer Moth.
"Come- no this way! Listen! Mothew no! No! No attacking the building I'm on! Bad moth! Arrrgh!"
In hindsight, he really should have trained the moths before he jumbo-sized them.
The Bats were quickly on the scene Red Robin, Spoiler, and Robin worked on handling the moths while Batman worked with Oracle to take down Killer Moth.
The Moth Control team was quick to get on the case. However, RR noticed a pattern in the moths' behavior. They seemed more interested in their fellow moths than in carrying out any orders given by a D-list villain. Upon sharing his observations, Robin corroborated that the behavior the moths were exhibiting seemed to be similar to a number of courtship rituals.
Now aware that the moths were still following their instincts the team hatched a plan to deal with them. Noticing that bright lights seemed to distract them from mating, they began using their Bat-flashlights and even the Bat-signal to attract them. They were able to make some progress but were quickly overwhelmed by the sheer number of moths wreaking havoc across the city.
As Red Robin and Robin wrangled a wriggly moth, Spoiler contacted Oracle requesting backup. Oracle reached out to Signal, whose light powers would be a great help, and Red Hood, whose long-range weapons would come in handy. Even though she was reluctant to bother them when they were currently off-duty she knew the ground team needed the help.
~
Jason was in the apartment he shared with his boyfriend Danny when he got a call from Oracle.
He and Danny had been prepping to make homemade chilidogs for dinner, cooking together as almost a mini date night. They were listening to music maneuvering around each other synchronized in a dance of controlled chaos. Danny ducked from where he was covering up homemade buns and resting pie dough Jason had made earlier in the day so that Jason could pull something out of the spice cabinet over his head. Jason was starting on a fruit chaat he had tried in Pakistan, while Danny prepped some seasoned fries.
Danny held up his hand and Jason took it wordlessly spinning them around, switching their positions. Danny began skillfully cutting up some strawberries and rhubarb while Jason took his place seasoning the fries. They worked in peace, matching each other's pace, content to take their time. They had put the chili in the slow cooker about an hour ago and it'd take at least 4 more hours before it was ready, giving them plenty of time to prep sides and desserts.
Suddenly, a beeping was heard over the music, snapping Jason and Danny out of their flow. Jason shot Danny an apprehensive look, knowing that that sound came from his Bat-pager and he might get called out if they were contacting him on his off hours, but his boyfriend just smiled at him reassuringly.
" Go ahead and take that, I'll wrap up the fruit chaat and get started on the pie prep."
" Thanks, babe," Jason smiled back, cleaning off his hands and pressing a kiss to his temple. He left the kitchen to go answer the call in the other room. Danny set the fries to rest since they'd cook them fresh when the chili was done and started topping the chaat with sliced dates and chopped walnuts, before sprinkling it with lemon juice. Then he moved on to the pie filling, combining strawberry and rhubarb in a large bowl. Even from the other room, he could Jason talking to someone on the phone. Then came a large groan and his boyfriend called out to him,
" Hey Danny, O called! She said she needs me to help play pest control! 'Parently Killer Moth thought he'd pull a Penguin and jumbo-size some moths to be his minions!"
Danny simply shook his head fondly and called back.
" It's okay Hun, you go handle the moths and I'll finish the prep. We can do the final steps together once your back."
" Thanks babe!"
And with that, Jason suited up to go out while Danny handled the rest of the dinner prep. He finished up the chaat and put the pie in the oven. While it baked he whipped up a batch of sweet tea and a quick coleslaw. By the time the pie was ready to come out of the oven he'd cleaned up most of the dishes as well.
Danny pulled out the pie and set it up to cool. It'd need at least three hours to cool according to the recipe and the chili would probably be done around the same time. It'd been about an hour since Jason left and he hadn't sent any texts meaning he was still occupied. A seed of worry grew in his chest. He glanced around the kitchen taking a look at the slow cooker timer before making his decision.
He could go help Jason and get home before the apartment potentially burned down.
'Everything will be fine' he thought before going ghost and taking off to find his boyfriend.
~
Jason was sick of these damn bugs.
After meeting up with the ground control team Jason got assigned to extermination duty since he was better suited for taking out long-range opponents with his guns. Spoiler refocused her effort to helping with civilian evac with Robin covering her back while he, Red Robin, and Signal split up and worked on attracting and taking out the moths.
'Coome oon! I've got something sweet waiting for me back home' Red Hood mentally complained as he shot down yet another moth. He was getting real sick of those things. The thought of his beautiful boyfriend waiting for him back home with a pretty pink pie and an equally pretty pink face flashed in his head, causing Hood to pause for a minute and turn a bit pink himself. That's when he heard the beat of wings an echo-y voice yelling, "Watch Out!"
Hood turned just in time to see a moth, coming at him from behind, demolished with a bright green energy blast. A frankly gross shower of moth guts rained down on him. He traced the origin of the blast to a floating figure with pale white hair and a smoking fist.
He grinned under his helmet, "Thanks babe! You here to come get me?"
Phantom rolled his eyes, bantering back, "Yeah, your exterminator gig was taking too long. I finished all the prep, baked the pie, and even had enough time to clean!"
He scoffed, continuing to pretend to scold his boyfriend as he jumped into combat with him.
"Besides it looks like you need the help. That moth would have taken you by surprise if I hadn't been there! What are you even thinking about in a battle to let yourself get distracted like that?"
" Oh~ you know, just your beautiful face babe!" He answered truthfully, albeit teasingly.
" Uh-huh, sure Hun."
And with that, they wordlessly threw themselves into the eclipse of moths.
In an echo of their synchrony from the kitchen earlier that night, the pair woven through the battle like a well-rehearsed dance. If Hood shot down two moths, Phantom covered his back and shot down a third. If Phantom herded the moths into a corner, Red Hood was there, lying in wait to take them out. If Phantom created a few glowing constructs to attract them, Hood would pick them off one by one. If Hood managed to get his hands on a flamethrower, Phantom made sure to ice any stay embers that could start a fire.
And just as it felt like they made a dent, another swarm took their place.
" MAN AM I GETTING SICK OF THESE THINGS!" Hood complained as his flamethrower ran out of juice. "There's gotta be a more efficient way to get rid of these!"
"Agreed!" Phantom nodded, shooting another moth that was latched onto a storefront. As moth guts splattered over the window, Phantom happened to catch sight of a DVD cover that sparked an idea for him.
" Hey Hood! You ever watch Wreck-it Ralph as a kid?"
" Think so! Why?"
" You remember how they took out all those creepy bug things at the end of the movie!?"
"Yeah, why!"
" I have an idea!"
" Wait!"
Jason turned franticly to see Phantom flying up above the city. He lifted his arms over his head and formed a large sustained ectoblast into the sky like the beacon in Wreck-it Ralph, basically making a giant an ecto-powered bug zapper. In Hood ear the comms crackled to life.
" ~bzzzzt - What the heck is that! - bzzt~ " Red Robin yelled out over the comms.
" Relax, it's Phantom. He came to help a while ago and he's got an idea!" Red Hood replied trying to explain. "He's turning himself into a giant bug zapper!"
" ~bzzzzt - Well it's certainly effective - bzzt~ " Spoiler chimed in, watching as droves of moths flew right into the giant glowing beacon.
Hood made his way across the rooftops, trying to get closer to Phantom, taking out any of the distracted moths he could along the way. He saw hordes of moths making their way across the city towards Phantom. He could also pick out where the other Bats were trying to thin out the crowd.
A drop of sweat rolled down Phantom's face as help kept up the constant intensity of the prolonged blast. His shoulders began to ache from keeping them in an outstretched position. His eyes began to sting from the brightness of his energy. The smell of moths disintegrating burned in his nose. He kept going.
After what felt like years, but couldn't have been more than an hour tops, a voice called out,
"It's okay! You can release it now!"
And all the exhaustion he'd been fighting back flooded his system at once. The power from his hands begins flickering before it goes out. Wearily, he floats down, wobbling and falling into the security of his lover's arms. He tilts his head up and forces a tired smile.
" Are they gone yet?"
Hood pulls him close.
" Yeah baby, they're gone now. You can rest."
" Go check on the chili," is the last thing that comes out of his mouth before he passes out.
~
Danny wakes up to the smell of warm spices and the sound of sizzling oil. He groans, pushing himself out of bed. He find himself back in his apartment and realizes Jason must have brought him home. Rubbing his eyes, Danny makes his way to the kitchen. He finds the table set with all the food they prepped earlier and his boyfriend grilling hotdogs for the buns he has set out. Danny blinks the remaining tiredness from his eyes and stretches.
" I'm coming from behind," he warns his boyfriend as he approaches.
" You're good, babe" comes his reply.
" Thanks hun."
And with that, Danny wraps his arms around Jason's waist, plastering himself against Jason's back. He holds him for a few minutes while Jason finishes the hotdogs, simply enjoying the contact. He hears the grill turn off, and then Jason turns to take him in his arms. He presses Danny into his chest.
" Thanks for your help babe, but you had me worried at the end there Dee."
" I was just a bit tired, but I'm sorry for worrying you Jay."
Jason pulls back to smile at him, pressing a kiss to the top of his forehead.
" Its okay Dee. Now let's enjoy this dinner we made, I'm dying to get my hands on dessert!"
Danny laughs back at him. "That'll just have to wait Jay! Let's take our time and enjoy dinner, okay?"
"Okay babe," he replies, nuzzling into his boyfriend's hair. "Let's have dinner."
~
Hi guys, hoped you liked this! I'm running behind on my DeadonMAYn fics but I'll try to get them out as soon as I can. This is for Day 1. I made this needlessly harder on myself by trying to use all of the prompts but I think it turned out okay? Hopefully, I can deliver with the rest of the one-shots I've got planned. I love feedback so let me know what you thought!
Also just in case anyone's interested here's the strawberry-rhubarb pie recipe.
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s-wordsmith · 4 months
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Something I really need Stranger Things fic writers to know is that no one in rural America was locking any doors in the eighties apart from the government and businesses. I remember when there was a big stink about "we gotta start locking our doors now how am I supposed to remember that every time I leave the house." People didn't lock the doors when they were home until at LEAST the mid-aughts, a lot of people STILL don't. "Oh we can't get into so-and-so's house/car because we don't have the keys!" You do not need the keys, just open the door. "I'm alarmed because I went over to so-and-so's house and their front door was unlocked so I instantly knew something was wrong." It would be much weirder if it was locked. If I showed up at my friend's house and the door was locked I would immediately assume something was wrong. If I lived in a town regularly invaded by monsters and patrolled by mobs of government agents/Russian spies/jocks with guns, I would assume my friend was currently being hunted.
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mansionfreaks · 13 days
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What do u guys usually eat at the mansion? or does anyone take it upon themselves to cook something that isnt KD?
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hi its eeeeejay . have the blog password now on my phone. asked for it bc u keep asking abt food. Love to cook honestly know thags crazy but its awesome
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weezmancer3 · 8 months
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Haikyuu siblings pt.2
Natsu and Shoyou
they're best friends but they can't agree on anything, and it drives their poor mother insane.
Natsu broke a window once (with a baseball or volleyball) and Shoyou covered for her. Their mom knew but couldn't say anything because Natsu just started crying and holding onto Sho.
Since Hinata is an older sibling he should be more responsible... he's not. His room is a mess, he consistently has at least 12 missing assignments, and he can not cook for the life of him. Natsu's a bit better but they're both super scatterbrained.
She was skeptical about Kageyama at first (the feeling was mutual) but now they bully Shoyou together and he helps her with volleyball (while insulting how Shoyou receives)
Since Miwa doesn't live with Tobio and both his parents work he spends a lot of time with the Hinatas and their mom has definitely come home to a small fire in the kitchen after the three of them tried making dinner.
there's a "no volleyball in the house" rule at the Hinata house now
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ventivente · 2 months
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He is so fineeeee
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dayurno · 3 months
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omg reverse riko au is making me feel so ill..... please let us know if you have any more thoughts abt riko kayleigh and kevin legend.....
I DO my idea is that its around the same age kevin and riko met in canon so tetsuji kicks the bucket when riko is 7/8 and riko is (very forcibly) removed from the nest and sidelined to kayleigh as a new moriyama asset from the main branch takes over the nest. riko struggles a lot with the change because he is very young and very scared and he’s used to horrible things at tetsuji’s hand, which means that he doesn’t trust kayleigh and finds kevin entirely too weird. it’s honestly really cute because i think at this point obviously 7 year old kevin wants to befriend him but riko is such an anxious ball of anger that most of their interactions are like
baby riko: what do you WANT from me. go AWAY!!!! NOW
baby kevin: (heavy irish accent) nothing i think. do you want a bite of my sandwich?
anyway i think riko and kayleigh do get along but he never really considers her his mother or even godmother, for a long time he thinks of her as his Benefactor until the child therapy starts hitting and she becomes Aunt Kayleigh and then after a few more years he can be loosely convinced to refer to her as auntie once or twice a year. his second son syndrome never really leaves him; in the upcoming years riko struggles with the idea that he’s anything But an add-on to the days and still overworks himself to death trying to be acknowledged by kengo, but it’s leaps better just from being outside the nest and having people to look out for him
riko and kevin have some rough patches, especially during riko’s first years with the days. because kevin is an easy target and riko is afraid of kayleigh he ends up letting a lot of that anger out on kevin, though obviously at this point they are children and riko’s anger manifests in some mild bullying and name calling. i think kevin doesn’t even understand it most of the time 😭 riko has been around grown ups his entire life so his adult level insults make no sense to kevin’s seven year old mind. nevertheless after kayleigh tells him to stop picking on kevin riko does respect it (first out of fear, then later because they actually get along) and they go on to become brothers with only a slight tendency towards antagonism. riko’s jealousy of kevin is still a big part of their relationship and i think even more so when college applications roll around, and he’s even more worried when wymack comes into the picture, but it never culminates into anything as horrible as hand breaking because riko has an actual outlet and a support system :) it’s mostly a yelling match that eventually turns to getting scolded by kayleigh for acting like barbarians
#i know kayleighs sermons go hard kevin and riko are sitting there head bowed like yes maam…..#i havent yet decided where they both go to college in this au#but i think for one that the nest still exists and jean still gets sold to the moriyamas but it’s the main branch now#however without riko there jean’s experience in the nest is. Hard but not brutal#anyway i think riko would apply to edgar allen but he would be rejected on the account of being second branch raised by foreigners#but how horrifying to think about jean in the nest bossing riko around right. kind of a slay though#i think kevin goes to palmetto still Because he wants to reconnect with wymack and riko is very divided but ultimately chooses usc#because they’re the best and he doesn’t want to play second fiddle to kevin and his father#also i imagine his time in usc sucks a lot for the first months because it’s so different LOL#and he’s never been alone before like this with kayleigh and kevin so far out of reach#but :) hed make friends. maybe even… captain jeremy knox….. whos to say?#!#meanwhile kevin (a normal boy at this point) has to deal with the foxes being a trainwreck and the new serial killer dad recruit#he’s got a lot on his hands#ANYWAY this is entirely unrelated and indulgent but i want this kevjean to meet so bad#riko on the phone: we played against the ravens that jean moreau is a scoundrel and a monster and he almost broke my arm kevin: woaw#he’s gonna be so pissed off three years down the line when jean moreau shows up at christmas dinner with the days#you think theres any worse dynamic for jean and riko than master and slave? of course. Brothers in law#wouldnt you just kill to be a little fly buzzing around that christmas supper#asks#riko#kevin&riko
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bottombaron · 11 months
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"nbc Hannibal is a totally different show than WWDITS!" I hear as if Nandor isn't just the complete himbofication of one Hannibal "I laugh at my own jokes and have childish hissy fits when I don't get my way" Lecter
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The only two things I can think of that are, even at their very basics, human traits are cooking and medicine. And if you think about it in a lot of ways they’re the same thing, so really the human condition is just harnessing the power of gods because we want each other to be well.
I wrote a paper for med school talking about research spanning 35 years, but if I’d been writing about bone breaks I’d have been talking about 15,000. The oldest proof of cooking is 780,000 years old. We are star stuff and godlings and a dice throw of evolution, and we have a drug for people who can’t eat cheese because human ingenuity will always trace back to wanting to share.
Sitting around a kitchen table is the closest we’ll get to being constellations again, and every time the Hippocratic Oath is sworn, there are two and a half thousand years of echoes.
Remember your meds. Remember to eat. I love you.
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why didn't anyone tell me that Hannibal is a comedy
#its absolutely Absurd lmfao#'you wouldnt like me psychoanalyzed' SIR????????#what is he??? autistic hulk??? s i r ?????#i really didnt expect them to reveal Yeah Hannibal is The Cannibal literally in his first appearance#i thought it was gonna be like... Hinted at... maybe the reveal is in the season finale or a later season#NOPE. they were immediately like 'yeah heres our main villain. hes a therapist. everyone likes him. hes so sus but no one picks up on it'#and then. fuckin. will didn't make it One Episode before eating human meat#will describing the 'copycat' killer's work as Art etc & then we cut to hannibal smiling at this description#motherfucker isnt slick. this is hysterical#every five minutes theres a reference to the copycat or cannibals or whatever#and immediately theres a shot of hannibal standing off to the side like 🧍#HES SO FUNNY AND FOR WHAT#absolutely unprompted#god and hannibal. like. bringing link sausages to feed will's dogs. what in the cartoony ass villain fuckery is this#its Also funny how like three different people - including hannibal - are trying to rizz up will#so far the only one actively succeeding from what i can tell is hannibal#and then - then fuckin. will is all like 'i feel responsible for abigail 🥺' and lowkey hinting that he wants to take care of her#smash cut to hannibal making her his murder kid. the fuck. hes so transparent#hannibal 'abigail is a bit like both of us<3' lecter#and him continuously having dinner with jack and jack being like Ohhhh This Dinner Is So Good Whats The Meat#hannibal: *suspicious pause* rabbit#theres just so many funny moments from all of the characters#all functionally unintentional. but still. love this show#i was gonna finish naruto or watch warrior nun but fuck!!! didnt do that!!! watching the gay subtext cannibal show!#literally in the first ep when will was like 'this guy is killing and eating women bc he loves them' i was Immediately like#ohhhh so this is like A Killer Per Episode show. bc theres no way thats hannibal lmfao#also jack and wills dynamic... jacks like 'this is my special little guy <3' and then points to will whos huddled shaking in the corner#this show is so entertaining. i expected it to be boring. its fuckin weird and i Like It#i hope it gets sooooo fucked up. cant wait for hannibal to really lean into the manipulation to convert will to Murderism. its already begu
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thevaudevillescene · 1 month
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God has inexplicably let me live to see 36!
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