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#just to give back to the maybe 5 ppl who actually interact with me & others and support them by sharing their original work
miqojak · 5 months
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#people will cheer about how others should set boundaries and uphold them for their own well-being#until those boundaries prevent them from getting what they want from you#I have to constantly beg people not to use this OC blog as an aesthetic resource blog for their own OC blogs#It's a roleplay blog - which means it is effectively a scrapbook for *my* OC - and a place for people who want to interact with me/my OC#it is NOT a place for complete strangers who have no interest in the OC to come and shop for their OC's aesthetic#but people get SO MAD when you tell them you have this one and only boundary that is 'please don't use me like an object'#is it so much to ask that people who follow an RP blog actually interact with that OC?#why else would you follow an OC's blog if you aren't interested in interacting with them as a character?#anyways it's always a bummer to come across an OC blog I like that has blocked me because I insisted they not use my blog as a resource#just go follow the same resource blogs your favs do if you really don't want to interact with their OC - but you really like their aestheti#if you want to share aes. posts from someone...maybe try sharing their original creations as well so it doesn't feel like you're using them#and it feels like you're actually supporting them AND you like their aesthetic - that's all I've ever asked of people and they get SO mad#when asked to consider that there is a human being behind the screen who doesn't want to be treated like a resource...#- but as a creative/writer who is seeking contacts to do improvisational creative writing with others#the amount of strangers coming to my blog lately not to interact or share my work - but just take the 1-2 aesthetic posts I share is vexing#to all who do share: I love you and I see you and I appreciate you#and I've seriously considered just doing a random gift/giveaway from a pool of people that only consists of you guys#just to give back to the maybe 5 ppl who actually interact with me & others and support them by sharing their original work
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space-diablo · 11 months
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Right back at you with the TS main 5 + Senya, and I'm adding Shika ;)
OKAY.
one aspect about them i love Yuri - She is a great friend. Everyone needs such a friend as Yuri. Nise - That's very personal. But she actually shows typical borderliner behavior and that hits me right in the heart❤ Kuon - She's the Goddess. Her duality actually. So lovely cute and tender girl who is very likely the most coldhearted and cruel person among all the participants❤ Sniper - His entire personality❤ I can elaborate but it's not the time, so in a short... He is so cool and reliable... and at the same time pathetic mess and a Loser. Yes with capital "L". In other words I love that same thing ppl usually hate him for. Rika - That thing... how he hates Sniper and at the same time looks at him like at some kind of an Idol and even forget sometimes that his brother also a living human. Yes, seriously, I do love it. Senya - Little cutie doesn't understand how traumatized he is. Shika - The fact that Shintarou was right. She resembles Kuon. In some ways x)))
one aspect i wish more people understood about them Yuri - She is the most attentive person among all the characters. Nise - She is 16yo old already traumatized by REAL WORLD girl who used to adapt to any situations to survive. Kuon - When she used the railgun for the first time... She didn't forget to think about other ppl who could be in that building. She DID NOT CARE about them in a first place. Like you know she doesn't give a fuck and have no idea why should she. *the list continues* Sniper - I just want to ask ppl to stop throw away that parts of his personality that don't fit their vision of him. Like most of the simps see him just as a kind of sexy-shmexy doll and haters only point at his mistakes. Non of them thinks about his character, non of them sees his traumas and suffering because of his own mistakes, non of them ever tried to understand his actions. The fandom's most popular character? Yes. But also the most misinterpreted one. He deserves better. Rika - He deserves more attention. That is all I can say 'cause... You know, I've never seen any bad word about him. Nor the good one actually. Ppl literally forget about him, some even skip his parts while rereading (yep, I know a few). Senya - That's normal!!!!! I don't want to elaborate. Just this phrase. Shika - That would be nice.. if ppl start talk about her first, so I could tell them that they are wrong 😏😏😏
one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character Yuri - can't cook well, but sews really good. Nise - She gives names to stuffed toys... as well as her knives. Kuon - She doesn't want to return home. I can elaborate about that, but not now - to much to say. Sniper - I can't choose so. Vegetarian (but not vegan), gloves are not just part of the image, also he spends all of his free money to support animal shelters. And will be afraid of the grenades for the rest of his life. Rika - He keeps a secret diary. Don't ask. Senya - everyone already knows my fav headcanon that he will choose astrophysics in the future instead of becoming an astronaut. Shika - I'm shamed but I don't have any headcanons for her. Maybe if I would reread TSA more often something could born... But we know the problem with TSA rereadings for me =')))
one character i love seeing them interact with Yuri - surprisingly - with Rika. Nise - with Sniper. Yeah, best BroTP I've ever seen (after Shin and Noi from Dororhedoro), Dumb & Dumber. Kuon - what do you expect here? Sniper. I'm damn shipper XDDD But well besides him - Yuri. Sniper - besides Kuon... I can't choose between Nise and Rika. Rika - with Sniper... As you can see I'm not immune to any siblings interactions. Senya - with Sniper that's obvious. Shika - haaaard one. Don't know really. Need to reread.
one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more Yuri - with Sniper about non-surviving themes. Nise - with Kuon... as helping her to catch a man. Kuon - with alien-kun is you understand me they have what to talk about 😏😏😏 Sniper - it will never happen but I'd really like to see him dealing with The Third Stage. Obviously they would hate each other and this would be really FUNNY. Rika - I need more siblings interactions! Guess yourself about which sibling of him I'm talking about XDDDD Senya - with anyone else from TS main crew besides Sniper. Shika - also anyone from TS main crew.
one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character I will combine some characters here. Sorry not sorry. Main5 - Yuri and Sniper is a deadly combination of idiots and the worst Rika's fear is that these two could get along. But they never really will... for various reasons. So Yuri can't get why Rika becomes so anxious about her and Sniper interactions. Nise sees Rika as a rival 'cause he takes a lot of attention (too much attention in Nise's eyes!!!) of her favorite person a.k.a Yuri. Every time Sniper needs to use bathroom or take a shower he's struggling with asking Kuon to go "for a little walk". Also Kuon can manage his dreams a bit. Senya - also I mentioned that.. long ago. He would overgrow his attraction to Oribe, like yes first love, but there's a lot of more interesting things in the world. Shika - As I said nothing here =(
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cowboyjen68 · 2 years
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i appreciate everything you do so much <3 it would have been so great to have had positive interactions with lesbains and butch women in particular, from an early age. Took me a while to figure myself out and because comfortable in myself because I was trying to compromise with my mom, for her it's bad enough that her daughter's a lesbian.. but she's also butch!! the horror lol. she would always point out butch women we saw on the street and say snarky stuff about them and it was always so disheartening, because I wanted to be like them. Now I have a femme girlfriend and friends who support me, and I'm letting myself embrace that more but sometimes it's still in the back of my mind. But finding your account on tiktok has honestly done wonders for me, it's been so incredibly helpful! I think a lot of ppl are very grateful for everything you do 💖
I distinctly remember thinking "there is no way I am butch or lesbian because I am not like all of the ways other people describe them." The only depictions I saw were "tough, angry and distant" women who tried very hard to be "one of the boys" . Caricatures of butch women as created by mostly straight men.
I heard us talked about as "man hatiing, OR worse maybe, "just like a man". And I knew then didn't mean the kind of men I had in my life like my dad and brothers who were kind and humorous guys. I only ever heard my male family members talk highly of wives and girlfriends. They were the kind of guys who would definitley rather hang out with their spouses and not the "boys". They meant the caricatures of men that I saw in the movies or old TV shows. The kind who say "the old ball and chain" and either complain about women or talk about them as only objects of sexual desire, not as full humans.
I did mental inventory checklists. I don't hate men, I don't look at women and see JUST boobs or some such nonsense. But I did know I saw them as sexually attractive as pueberty hit, which caused me a whole other set of concerns "Oh no.. AM I JUST like those kind of men?!". I didn't WANT to not understand or be like other women, I just couldn't quite fit in or be "one of the girls" at social gatherings. I realized later that many of the girls I felt "othered" from where just better at fitting the stereotype that earned them acceptance than I was. None of them were actually fitting into the "box" society said they should. They played the part to "fit in". And many of them actually felt or were shamed when they DID like things our culture said they should, like they were giving in. GIrls could just not win.
My mom, who later told me she knew I was a lesbian by 4 or 5 or so never said anything bad about lesbians perse. BUT she defininitely pushed me to be more "feminine" in subtle ways. She herself played softball, rallied against wearing skirts (by rolling up jeans underneath and loosing the dress once away from home). She did not fit all the steretyples of a "1950's House wife" when she married dad. My dad would say he loved her because she was different. Independant.
I think a part of my mom recoginzed that being a masculine woman DID come with dangers and judgements from the outside world. As a parent she wanted to remove as many obstacles from her child's life as she could. As a parent myself I look back and understand. She knew I would always be a lesbian but she maybe thought she could curtail some of the visibility of butchness under clothes and mannerisms. Constantly saying "don't be loud, be nice the the boys, Just TRY the dress, put on a clean shirt, try not to get dirty, SMILE, don't sit like that".
In hindsight, as a woman she very well understood the aggression with which society and people could use to get women to fall in line, to adhere to our role. My dad, being a man, was constantly like "let her be, leave her alone, she's a tomboy, it's fine. Who cares?" He just had no idea who much MORE demand there is for women to conform. Mom did.
I can't say this is your mom's unconscious thought process, she might just be unable to understand butch is a thing you just ARE and her limited understand of how women are supposed to be does not allow her to get that. But perhaps her actions are formed my experience as a woman.
I am so glad you are loving yourself. The act of a butch realizing we can just live, unaided, unbothered and with no effort as a butch is a freeing feeling. Having a femme girlfriend is icing on the cake. I can say I never felt so loved and protected as when my girlfriend would tell me she appreciated me, found me sexy, that SHE felt safe with me.
Thank you for your kind words about my tiktok. I can't hear enough times that my presence on the internet helps, yet just hearing it once is enough to motivate me to keep on keeping on! Lesbian and butch positivity and visibility was important to me coming out and I am paying that forward.
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kellyvela · 3 years
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Has GRRM ever said in any interview or on his blog that he hates Sansa's complete storyline after 4th season? I dont really follow all of his fan/media interactions but from what I can recall he has spoken abt how LF in books wont give sansa to ramsay or how noone had issue when Jeyne was given the Ramsay storyline in books etc. Asking this question to you bcs you rightly point out how ppl misunderstood his interviews/posts ( sansans/targ stans etc) & I cant recall him ever saying he 'hates' sansa's story in the later seasons of the show ( not s5 in particular but even s6 to s8).
Capclave 2013:
A change that has repercussions for season 4 is Marillion’s tongue removal from the first season. Martin said that the change was made (from an anonymous singer being the victim of a de-tonguing) because they wanted Joffrey to maim someone the audience would recognize. He believes this is an issue because of the part the singer plays in Sansa’s storyline, how he affects her interactions with others in the book, and he doesn’t believe another character will be fulfilling that role on Game of Thrones.
—GRRM talks season 4 & beyond - Winter is Coming - October 13, 2013
2014 Fan Reports about Capclave 2013 (*):
In a convention panel this year, George said on the record that he had no idea what they were doing with Sansa or where they’re taking her storyline, which now makes sense perhaps. He was not pleased when he was talking about it, so who knows what’s going to happen with her! Knowing GRRM, that could mean they’re going off the canon reservation, and/or that they’re going to be making a lot of shit up
I have notes I’ll be responding to (thanks!) but enough people commented about Sansa that I thought I’d share that tidbit, since it happened back in September iirc (was the same panel where he criticized the exclusion of Tyrell brothers)
—starkalypse - June 3, 2014
GRRM’s comments at capclave about Sansa (which I was in the third row for, for those asking about legitimacy) were among others during the panel that had a general theme of dissatisfaction with show changes. He was not in good spirits for that con and didn’t really have anything positive to say regarding the show. So take it with a grain of salt; there are deviations away from the books in the episodes he gets writers credit for, so maybe they’re doing something stupid or they really don’t have a gameplan!
—starkalypse - June 4, 2014
(*) These reports were posted in June 2014, during the airing of Game of Thrones Season 4, about Capclave 2013 that happened in October 2013.
Just after the rape episode:
How many children did Scarlett O’Hara have? Three, in the novel. One, in the movie. None, in real life: she was a fictional character, she never existed. The show is the show, the books are the books; two different tellings of the same story.
There have been differences between the novels and the television show since the first episode of season one. And for just as long, I have been talking about the butterfly effect. Small changes lead to larger changes lead to huge changes. HBO is more than forty hours into the impossible and demanding task of adapting my lengthy (extremely) and complex (exceedingly) novels, with their layers of plots and subplots, their twists and contradictions and unreliable narrators, viewpoint shifts and ambiguities, and a cast of characters in the hundreds.
There has seldom been any TV series as faithful to its source material, by and large (if you doubt that, talk to the Harry Dresden fans, or readers of the Sookie Stackhouse novels, or the fans of the original WALKING DEAD comic books)… but the longer the show goes on, the bigger the butterflies become. And now we have reached the point where the beat of butterfly wings is stirring up storms, like the one presently engulfing my email.
Prose and television have different strengths, different weaknesses, different requirements.
David and Dan and Bryan and HBO are trying to make the best television series that they can.
And over here I am trying to write the best novels that I can.
And yes, more and more, they differ. Two roads diverging in the dark of the woods, I suppose… but all of us are still intending that at the end we will arrive at the same place.
In the meantime, we hope that the readers and viewers both enjoy the journey. Or journeys, as the case may be. Sometimes butterflies grow into dragons.
—The Show, the Books - Not A Blog - May 18, 2015
Report about the last Game of Thrones Script that GRRM wrote:
No Wedding for Sansa and Ramsay: Without question, one of the most controversial changes the show made in trying to streamline the books was by slotting Sansa into the role of Ramsay’s wife and rape victim in Season 5. In the books, Ramsay marries and assaults Sansa’s best childhood friend, Jeyne Poole—who is being forced to impersonate Arya—instead. (You can actually see Jeyne briefly sitting next to Sansa in the show’s pilot.)
At the time Martin wrote this script, though, substituting Sansa for Jeyne was not yet the plan. Martin has Roose Bolton tell his bastard son: “We have a much better match in mind for you. A match to help House Bolton hold the north. Arya Stark.” It should be noted, however, that in Martin’s script, Sansa isn’t free from menace either. At his own wedding-day breakfast, Joffrey still threatens to rape the older Stark sister—once he’s “gotten Margaery with child.”)
—Game of Thrones: The Secrets of George R.R. Martin’s Final Script - Vanity Fair - December 7, 2018
A month before the Game of Throne S8 Finale:
Sansa’s story, in particular, has really deviated from the books. Ramsay Bolton — that marriage obviously was with a different character. When they start deviating like that, did you initially have any emotional reaction, even though you worked in Hollywood for many years yourself?
GRRM: Well, yeah — of course you have an emotional reaction. I mean, would I prefer they do it exactly the way I did it? Sure. But I’ve been on the other side of it, too. I’ve adapted work by other people, and I didn’t do it exactly the way they did it, so ….
Some of the deviation, of course, is because I’ve been so slow with these books. I really should’ve finished this thing four years ago — and if I had, maybe it would be telling a different story here. It’s two variations of the same story, or a similar story, and you get that whenever anything is adapted. The analogy I’ve often used is, to ask how many children did Scarlett O’Hara have? Do you know the answer to that?
I know it’s different in the book and the movie …
GRRM: Three children in the book, one by each husband. She had one child in the movie. And in real life, of course, Scarlett O’Hara had no children, because she never existed. Margaret Mitchell made her up. The book is there. You can pick it up and read Mitchell’s version of it, or you can see the movie and see David Selznick’s version of it. I think they’re both true to the spirit of the work, and hopefully that’s also true of Game of Thrones on one hand, and A Song of Ice and Fire on the other hand.
—George R.R. Martin on the Stark Sisters and Ending ‘Game of Thrones’ - RollingStone - April 22, 2019
James Hibberd’s Book:
GEORGE R. R. MARTIN: Jeyne Poole was included in the pilot—she’s shown giggling next to Sansa—but she’s never seen or referred to again. I actually wrote Jeyne into “The Pointy End,” my first script, when Arya killed the stableboy. I had some stuff with Jeyne running to Sansa being all hysterical and dialogue in the council chamber with Littlefinger saying, “Give her to me, I’ll make sure she doesn’t cause any trouble.” That was dropped.
DAVID BENIOFF: Sansa is a character we care about almost more than any other. We really wanted Sansa to play a major part in that season. If we were going to stay absolutely faithful to the book, it was going to be very hard to do that. There was a subplot we loved from the books, but it was a character not involved in the show.
GEORGE R. R. MARTIN: I was trying to set up Jeyne for her future role as the false Arya. The real Arya has escaped and is presumed dead. But this girl has been in Littlefinger’s control for years, and he’s been training her. She knows Winterfell, has the proper northern accent, and can pose as Arya. Who the hell knows what a little girl you met two years ago looks like? When you’re a lord visiting Winterfell, are you going to pay attention to the little kids running around? So she can pull off the impersonation. Not having Jeyne, they used Sansa for that. Is that better or worse? You can make your decision there. Oddly, I never got pushback for that in the book because nobody cared about Jeyne Poole that much. They care about Sansa.
—Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon: Game of Thrones and the Official Untold Story of the Epic Series by James Hibberd - October 6, 2020
GEORGE R. R. MARTIN: My Littlefinger would have never turned Sansa over to Ramsay. Never. He’s obsessed with her. Half the time he thinks she’s the daughter he never had—that he wishes he had, if he’d married Catelyn. And half the time he thinks she is Catelyn, and he wants her for himself. He’s not going to give her to somebody who would do bad things to her. That’s going to be very different in the books.
—Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon: Game of Thrones and the Official Untold Story of the Epic Series by James Hibberd - October 6, 2020
I hope it helps you.
Thanks for your message.
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crossdressingdeath · 3 years
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i really hate the fanon that wwx is irritating or that he annoys everyone and they’re forced to put up with it. there's no basis for it? leaving aside jyl and lwj (who are portrayed as the only ones who can put up with wwx), nhs likes him and respects him, wn loves him, any real annoyance wq has for him comes from his tendency to neglect selfcare, lxc's dislike was based on a misunderstanding, the juniors adore him and respect him including jl who was raised to hate him, (1/5)
mm still thinks of him fondly. even ppl who hate him seem to at least respect his competence, when ppl criticize him, it’s not about him being an annoyance, it’s about him “not knowing his place”. If he really does annoy them so much, why do they still hang around him? Why would nhs who makes a lifestyle of not doing things that he doesn’t enjoy actively spend time with wwx unless he liked him? Why would wq and mm who have probably spent their entire lives (2/5)
dealing with male entitlement think well of wwx unless they liked him? This is tied so closely to the ‘wwx is an oblivious moron and everyone who talks to him for five minutes wants to smack him’ trope. It’s such a flanderization of his character. Every person wwx annoys in canon, he annoys on purpose! He is doing it with intent to serve some purpose, be it insulting thm or getting back at them or whatever. In-world, none of the ppl he’s on good terms with know that wwx is a main character (3/5)
They don’t need to force themselves to be around him for plot purposes! If he annoyed them they would not have any reason to be around him! Okay, so he does his whole ‘xianxian is three’ routine with jyl, but it CLEARLY doesn’t annoy her! it’s their thing! It’s the way her brother comes to her for comfort and she provides it! And with lwj, lwj doesn’t just love him, he LIKES wwx so much. He genuinely enjoys spending time with wwx! (4/5)
In the extras, he joins in with wwx to prank some kids ( maybe not the best word, but idk)! He enjoys it when wwx teases him! He teases back! Every one of their interactions is filled with so much fondness! In the audio drama, you can actually hear the affection (my personal favorite is the bit where wwx is talking to lwj and then says ‘don’t talk to me anymore, I’m sleepy’ and when ‘lwj says okay he goes ‘lz I told you to stop talking ☹’ and lwj just huffs a laugh it’s just so soft) (5/5)
Additionally, wwx shows repeatedly that he can deal with ppl skillfully, get answers out of them that others can't. he definitely doesn't do that by annoying them. What basis even is there for this argument apart from the fact that jc claims that wwx is annoying? (6/5)
As far as I’m aware, the only person to call WWX annoying is... JC. Ah, well, there you go then, that’s probably why it’s such a thing.
But yeah, you’re right; pretty much everyone in the story clearly thinks very highly of WWX, or at the very least has a healthy respect for his genius. The only exceptions I can think of are WC and SS (and JC); even JGY is clearly very aware of WWX’s skills and does seem to respect him (just not enough to not cause his death). WWX is charming; remember that he is fourth on the list of most eligible bachelors, and everyone ahead of him is either running a sect or in line to run a sect, as is everyone we know of behind him. No known inheritance, no fancy bloodline, no sect to be inherited, and he’s seen as just as good a marriage prospect as sect heirs and sect leaders. How does that suggest everyone around him finds him annoying? MM thought of him highly enough to give up the place in a sect she worked so hard for in protest at the sects turning on him. NHS thought highly enough of him to bring him back from the fucking dead. Everyone who meets WWX with very few exceptions clearly at least likes and respects him! This thing where people act like the entire cast finds him an annoyance is... so stupid and a complete failure to understand his character.
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alatismeni-theitsa · 3 years
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anti LO anon opinions
(1) Whats up with LO giving some characters random american names? In few fastpass episodes was characters that have bame anna, larry and derek and in previous episodes there was characters with american names. Isnt that supposed to be greek mythological beings that should have greek names?
(2) Maybe it’s my aroace ass but why do I have a feeling the relationship of HxP in LO goes too fast? I feel uncomfortable seeing them so close because nothing really has happened to bind them that much so early.
(3) I’m going to rant for a second here.  I think the Kronos plot in LO is interesting but at the same time it’s also just so? Random? Like isn’t this supposed to be about Hades and Persephone? It have been over 150 episodes and they’ve only just now decided to do any basic romantic interactions, but there’s so many side plots that it just makes them seem so out of place?
It’s not great editing to jump from cutesy shipper moments to suddenly a new war is starting in the span of a few panels. The tonal shifts have to be built up, maybe split over a few episodes, but LO doesn’t put in the effort. It wants the stakes and writing of a deep epic but doesn’t put in the work to do so, so it ends up looking like shallow cliffhanger writing than actually planned.
Like you still have to deal with her murdering people (even if it was an accident), you now have to deal with Leto apparently being the real evil mastermind, redeeming (?) Apollo (🤢), Thetis trying to ruin Zeus’ marriage, Persephone being raped, her scholarship, her school work (?), Eros and psyche, semele and Dionysus, Daphne and Thanatos (gag), Minthe!, and now a whole new war all on top of the ACTUAL myth its popularity and readership is based off of.
For all we know Smythe does genuinely want to tell these other myths (the majority which have nothing to do with HxP to begin with) but just isn’t patient enough to just save them for a spin off series, so she shoves them all into this despite saying back in 2018 she was not going to do. Problem too is that doing that makes HxP, the actual selling point, completely minor in the grand scheme of it all. Who cares about Persephone cuddling her boss when they’re accidentally causing another war under their own noses? How are they good people at that point?
If Demeter or Zeus accidentally awoke a villain they’d be thrown in tartarus too, but we know Persephone will get off Scott-free for this and become queen with no push back. How is that fair? I will feel sympathy for her bad childhood and really bad two weeks on Olympus (good lord it’s only been like a month in comic and all of this is happening, what the hell) but why should we root for a character who is putting millions are risk and who we know won’t be punished or learn anything from it? From anyone not blinded by the rose-tinted glasses, Persephone and hades are villains as well, but because we get their POV we’re supposed to ignore that? No thanks.
Why isn’t the editing team cutting the fat, so to speak? You can’t write and market it off a singular myth and proceed to make it a b-plot because you got bored of it and don’t know how to get from point A to point B. There are a ton of super successful Webtoons that wrapped everything up strongly in less than 100 episodes, some with even less, but LO seems determined to be over 200+ at this rate with the actual plot/hook (HxP) being MAYBE 1/6th of the actual product, with everything else being unrelated side plots smythe found more interesting. Though I guess they do kinda matter in this case, it’s literally Persephone’s fault AGAIN she’s putting countless lives in danger, yet it still won’t be her fault somehow? It’s all just very stupid.
(4) What i find annoying about the LO marketing is they keep insisting it's this "global phenomenon" but that is only correct if you only go off the English speaking server. It was not received well in Korea, it doesn't even rank in the Latin American server, and only does ok in France, and it's not even on other Asian servers. I understand media tends to be very America-focused, but that seems to be twisting the truth. If they were honest True Beauty would be marketed as the "global hit", not LO.
(5) Whats up with LO giving some characters random american names? In few fastpass episodes was characters that have bame anna, larry and derek and in previous episodes there was characters with american names. Isnt that supposed to be greek mythological beings that should have greek names?
(6) what really makes me mad about LO is just that it has so much potential that isn't met. With a competent writer it could be a nuanced look into complex characters who aren't easily cut into black and white, and art wise, especially with the long strolling panels, it shows with a competent eye they can absolutely make something constantly visually strong, yet both genuinely good moments in either writing ad art are few & fair in between in over 150+ episodes. I'm sad over what could have been.
(7) I find it so weird that ppl are praising Rachel for giving Persephone stretch marks but the whole comic barely has diversity. There's only been a handful of plus sized women and I haven't seen any plus sized men so far (I could be wrong. Also, only one goddess is plus sized. Everyone else is skinny.). Nobody has kinky hair and a lot of the guys are extremely tall compared to the women.
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appledotcodotuk · 3 years
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why the hive fckin suck at its job: a rant
spoilers for tgwdlm ahead!
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first of all, it's important to consider what exactly the hive's job is. my answer is... who the fuck knows. literally. what is the hive's aim. what do you want Paul? more like, what do you want hive? let's find out!
it kinda evolves, as the play progresses. the intial aim of the hive, and one that does actually remain consistent is the constant burning need to grow and devour and gain more and more (insert capitalism metaphor here).
however, this is distorted by the people it possess who influence that aim, as we'll see later.
also the fact it crashes into a theatre displaying Mamma Mia gives the hive the motive it need to fit the world around it to the structure of the musical. having no originality of its own, the hive instead just picks up what is given to it. kinda like an evil baby.
it wants uniformity, that is indeed its ultimate goal and desire, no duh. it thinks it can achieve that through musical theatre, shame that the hive is dead wrong. cause the hive fucking sucks at its own job / aim / ultimate purpose / one concrete goal that motivates all its actions.
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can't maintain control over its subjects
okay, so, the hive wants uniformity. it wants everyone to be dancing to the beat of its own tune. right? yeah. shame it literally can't keep its own possessed subjects in line at all. at the risk of sounding like the 10th doctor waxing lyrical abt humanity for the 50th time, humans are really difficult to control cause we're not really motivated by an altruistic allegiance to one primary good. we've got icky emotions that often move us to do stupid unpredictable stuff way more. it makes me wonder if the reason the hive wanted to use musical theatre to try and persuade ppl was cause it seems to think that is how theyll get emotive humans; through emotive songs. anyways. let's look at some examples shall weeeee?
Mr Davidson:
so, Mr Davidson. funnily enough, he's the guy whose in part acting as the hive trying to figure out what it wants through his interactions w/ Paul. every person it possess gives it just a bit more humanity and curiosity abt the world it is currently taking over. at least I think so. hence why as the musical develops u get character's like possessed!Alice wondering 'why does it hurt to love?' - the change in music and mood to something much more introspective really suggests to me that the hive is beginning to question the thoughts and emotions of its human hosts.
Mr Davidson is a family man through and through, he loves his wife Carol. she's his muse, his source of light. his feelings for her are not concrete or easy to explain and solve - hence why his sudden ahem demand of her is so hilarious and also jarring. it completely clashes with the 'I want song' which is simple, and often pushes forward a wider cause. not so with Mr Davidson, he just really loves his wife man. enough to break a frickin alien possession.
tbh I think its hilarious that (at least to me) the hive has to force him to forget and continue with the song, like, he straight up is just talking to his wife in that phone call, talking, not singing. so, no possession until he reverts back into song. ergo, the hive cannot maintain the uniformity it wants. even from the get go when theoretically its control should be stronger cause it has less ppl to co-ordinate. bad. at. its. job.
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Paul:
this one hurts folks. yes, I know it's generally agreed, though somewhat debated that the state of Paul by the end of the tgwdlm is not purely possessed. I agree. once again, the hive is unable to truly enforce uniformity.
at this point, the motives of Paul and the hive are kinda just mixed, neither fully human nor fully alien. hence the constant shifts between pleeing for her to get away, to hide, to stay safe: 'what if the only choice is you have to sing to survive' and just full on old style hive nastiness 'let me puke in your mouth and just open your food bin girl' (so romantic 🥰 /j).
the hive has gone away from its original aim, and become something... different. no longer stuck to just one type of genre or style of song, it's really clever to show the developing complexity of the hive by showing how it is now juggling lots of different motifs with references to all the old songs from before recontextualised in a new way - its learning. evil baby... no longer uniform.
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general miscommunication:
there are several instances of the hive not fully having uniform control over its subjects. for instance, right after not your seed with the three teens having to like... calibrate. they aren't just completely connected then?? also, this is a very small thing, but uhhhh at the end of inevitable when Paul is about to say the apotheosis is upon... the chorus interrupts him with USSSSSSS. interruptions??? not very in sync of u hive.
I think this inability to exert uniformity is also shown in the contrast between genre of musical theatre. my alien abomination cannot decide whether it wants to be the more modern edgy rock musical (join us (and die), not your seed ) or super happy go lucky old style musical theatre (lah dee dah dah day, and inevitable). it tries to do both, even while trying to encourage union, and sticking to one thing. hypocrite!!!!!
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2. aims are guided by the people it possess
so, I mentioned this a bit already, but the hive isn't only mutating the humans, the humans are mutating the hive right back. this is more an interesting observation than any actual analysis but let's goooo.
greenpeace girl:
I think it's very likely that greenpeace girl is one of the first to be possessed. This is probably easily debunkable but whatever this analysis is flying by the seat or its pants anywayyyyy. why? cause where else would it pick up that whole 'this planet needs fixing' thing? it's interesting too, cause it morphs from expressing the desire to join hands and sing together, unity and peace with no actual action behind it. this then goes right to the other end, with the hive going 'fine I'll do it myself' and trying to save things by enforcing a dictatorship on the world. it develops and changes, and strays from its original means of accomplishing its aims! speaking oooooof...
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3. inconsistent in means of accomplishing aims
okay, ur an evil hive mind. u think musicals are the way to win over these silly humans cause they're all weak and emotive and seem to respond to them. but, wait! schwoopsie! you haven't realised that for emotional depth and growth to mean anything, you need there to be established development and well... growth. otherwise the sentiments are as vague as the ones expressed in What Do You Want, Paul?
this show has genuine emotional moments, just not really during the musical numbers WITH EXCEPTIONS. any strife is smoothed over quickly, and so the development and change that would have to go into such growth is just gone. (see, You Tied Up My Heart) all so it can achieve its own desire to grow and grow and grow, maybe a metaphor for art being killed under late stage capitalism??
what actually matters is the impact the songs have afterwards, in causing a death - because we have a bond and care abt these characters. those short scenes between Paul and Emma are actually way more resonant than any song. except... inevitable, and also not your seed a bit. at this point the hive has learnt a thing or two, and can actually twist human emotion a little. but for it to do that, it has to reject the uniformity it prizes, and be adaptable. point towards being more human than it first thought? methinks so. and yet it's just not enough...
it's also why let it out, to me, feels really ingenuine. Paul has expressed himself in much better ways already. what they're doing is clearly paining him, and hurting the guy. he's terrified bless.
you can't force someone into being emotional vulnerable, man.
it's why all the deaths for the characters who are forced to express themselves are really violent, involving them being ripped open - literally forcing them to expose themselves from the 'inside out' as Alice reflects in Not Your Seed. you can't force genuine emotional connection, it has to be fostered, shown in the much more affecting relationship of Paul and Emma. the only reason the hive actually has power over our characters is because of these genuine emotional connections, which it tries and often fails to take advantage of, resulting in just resorting to brute violence. messy hive, very messy.
at the core, the musical's a kinda attack on that toxic positivity mindst: trying to force people to reach the sort of easy solutions by sharing feelings in a way that feels pretty invasive and deciding you are instantly fixed. the problems these characters face are jarringly not really what you'd expect a character in a musical to face, cheating, a lot of it, mid-life crisis. problems that are bland, or wayyyy too real. this is purposefully done, to reveal just how silly the hive's aim to use musical theatre to solve everyone's problem is. life is more complex than that smh.
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4. a human can write a much more expressive, and genuine song than they ever could lol
u know which song I'm talking abt. what more is there to say. so much for making persuasive songs to tempt people over.
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5. make me sad cause they took some perfectly nice ppl and funked them up 😭
this was a stupid point lol. basically I'm just bitter that this hive took a bunch of perfectly okay ppl and gave them hive brain. screw u hive. I swear I'm gonna watch Black Friday soon, cause I'm sure it's gonna completely destroy every thought I've had so far, but whateve,,, just take this as a look at tgwdlm like it's a stand-alone piece.
these guys are supposed to all be 'individuals' on one level, but also 'appendages of a much larger organism'. there's a little too much individualism and fracturing to be cohesive enough to do that I feel. the hive to me is not an infallible, unstoppable force, in fact, every human it takes over only brings it closer to understanding us. so that's maybe a slight positive note??? idk ?! I just have lots of thoughts and feelings abt this musical even if this doesn't make sense I'm proud i wrote it down hehe.
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you talk a lot about magnus and camille dynamic and how they started and all that great meta content that you know i love but here's a question that idk if you ever got: how long do you think they were together? bc i can't think of a specific timeline and personally i love the one you talked abt at some point how she was pretty much right after asmododo or something like that, so he went from one type of abuse into another... but how long was he there? was camille with him for 20 years? 80? 130? any theories?
ugh that's a complicated one because i don't really have an answer for that and i think about it often as well
altho i think you got confused about her being right after asmodeus, i definitely don't think she was. i mentioned it my post about the timeline to say that magnus COULDN'T have been born close to the 1800s because that would make it asmodeus and camille way too close and that can't be the case because it would imply camille is basically the only person he dated before alec doajsdoaj and we know that's not true cuz there's also other ppl like george and etc. it was more a point in favor of "early to mid 1600s" for his birth date
anyway! let's go through this. i mentioned in another post that i think he got together with camille right after george, and that i think george died around the middle of the US civil war, which lasted from 1861 to 1865. so let's say they got together around 1863. now, we have a few pieces of information:
magnus mentioned that he hadn't been with anyone for "almost a century" when talking to alec. i know i think magnus is time blind but he can't be TOO off here. that was in 2016 so that would make their breakup date be a little after 1916 if magnus remembers correctly
literally the only thing about the timeline in that time period that i can remember is that one picture there was in his file of magnus surrounded by girls at a party, which looked to be in the 20s to me. since camille was an abusive asshole probably sabotaging his every chance to meet people, that couldn't have been when they were together. so i'd say 1920 is like, the limit for when they could have broken up. it's up to you whether or not you think magnus would be jumping into his party animal role immediately after the breakup or if it would take some time for him to heal; personally i think both make sense (i think she made a huge number on him so it would make sense for him to take a while to get back to that kind of thing; on the other hand, a lot of people turn straight to being party animals after breaking up abusive relationships, especially because for so long abusers have kept them from doing anything fun. so both work imo) so it's up to you
conclusion: they broke up in 1920 at the latest, so the max you could go for is 80 years, if you go with a timeline where camille was right after george (george can't be after camille because magnus has had no relationships after camille, but there could have been a bigger gap between george and camille than i personally hc). it could still be less tho, because we literally have NO information whatsoever on what happened between 1861 and 1920. even if you go with "they broke up and magnus immediately went full party animal" (which is perfectly valid), it's also entirely possible that this happened in say, 1901 and that pic just happened to be from the 20s, years later. but i also don't think it could have been a lot earlier than 1901 because magnus said almost a century, implying less than a century between the year they broke up and 2016. and while i do think that any immortal would lose track of time after a while and mingle years and decades together, nevermind adhd time blind icon magnus bane, if they had broken up in, say, 1880, magnus would remember that over a century has passed, if anything because so much has changed since then. so i think for him to say that the breakup should have happened in the 20th century at least
so that's the analysis from what we've seen in the show. personal opinion! i think 80 years makes sense, but is a bit much. it makes sense because there does seem to be a pretty obvious gap in magnus' file from the 1860s to the 1920s and then it goes back to having many pictures of him, and that "disappearance" makes sense in the context of him being in an abusive relationship (which limits your interactions and going outs by a lot). it does seem to be a bit much because magnus is at max 400, so, if they had been together 80 years, that would have been 20% of magnus' life spent with camille. or 1/5. added with all the time with asmodeus, it seems to be... a bit much dioadsoaijd and like look i'm not judging, i know abusive relationships can last many years and decades even for mortals, nevermind immortals, but i just don't like the idea of it lasting this long personally, especially because i think it makes him getting with alec seem actually a bit soon considering how long the abusive relationship lasted, and that's ignoring asmodeus' abuse on top of it
so personally, i like it morenif its around 40-50 years. i think it makes sense. it would mean the breakup was sometime around the 1910s, and while, okay, there is a gap in his file that seems to only end in the 20s, we must not forget an important fact: shadowhunters are stupid. so i actually think it makes sense that like, magnus emerges from his abusive relationship and is still getting back on his feet, and shadowhunters just don't care. like who is that guy? oh some warlock, no one's heard of him since like the 1860s lol. whatever happened to him? who cares. anyway, we love racism
and then around a decade later it turns out that magnus is healing enough to be a pain in their ass; say, that is when he becomes HWoB, or simply that they are reminded of how powerful magnus actually is once he is back in activity, and so they go back to like, investigating him and updating his file. so the file gap could be explained in that case. it also actually makes more sense that it would take shadowhunters a while to pay attention to him again, and since magnus was healing from an abusive relationship, the time it would take for him to draw their attention might well be around a decade
and with 40-50 years of an abusive relationship that would mean magnus has spent 10-12% of his life with camille; which is a LOT of time (for comparison: my first abusive relationship lasted a little over a year and i was 16 at the time; that makes it have lasted around 6% of my life at the time, and it did a HUGE number on me, taking me almost 3 years to have a relationship again), but not quite as much as a full 20%. not just that, but him taking "almost a century" (it would actually make it be a little over a century in this timeline, but again, magnus is immortal and time blind, so give him a break) to get with anyone again makes sense. that would be around double the time he's spent with her before he heals enough to be with someone else. that tracks, because abuse fucks you up fast and unfuckening yourself up takes longer. magnus isn't even fully unfucked up (which is okay, he doesn't have to be), but for him to be ready to take such huge steps as he is taking with alec, i think around double the time he's spent with her spent on healing makes sense
(again, i'm mostly going off my own experiences here; my abusive relationship lasted almost a year and a half, my next relationship was almost three years after the breakup. so almost perfectly double the time before i was ready to have another relationship. and again, i know recovery isn't the same for everyone and a lot of factors go into this, but i just think a timeline where he's been with her for 80 years and then gets with alec less than 100 afterwards is a bit too fast)
i still think 40 years is kind of a very long time to be in an abusive relationship and like holy shit i cant even imagine, but also i mean, mortals have abusive relationships that last that long and to an immortal itd feel like less time, and it does seem to be what best fits the timeline, so
and yeah i think those are my thoughts dadsajdsa
LAST MINUTE EDIT BEFORE THIS IS PUBLISHED CUZ IM NOT REDOING THE WHOLE THING: i got an anon today saying that magnus said something about not having seen camille in 130 years (link) which i didnt/dont really remember but i trust that theyre right and im wrong because i dont remember a lot of shit from this show. 130 years before 2016 would be 1886, meaning that if they broke up at that time and got together right after george's death as i personally hc, that's a 20-year relationship. that sounds like it fits the timeline as much as any other to me, and like i said in that ask, i think it makes sense that magnus would play it down to alec by saying "almost a century" instead of how long it's really been cuz it's a bit too vulnerable, and plus, we know one of the ways he protects himself is by not letting people pinpoint exactly some important dates from his past, particularly his birthday and etc
and okay i know that 20 years together, then 130 years recovering is a huge difference, but also i think with twenty years together as opposed to my comparatively short abusive relationship the scars of abuse would deepen a lot and quicker, so maybe it makes sense that it would take a longer time to feel confident enough to get to dating again. plus, like i said, there's no real math to be had in that process, everyone is different, has their own history and recovery process and etc so it's not like there is a deadline. so actually scratch everything i said above im going with this timeline. the one thing that doesn't track with that is the gap in his file but also like i said shadowhunters are stupid, so. yeah 20 years together is probably closer to it
in the end its kind of a relief cuz i was like "holy shit 40 years is so LONG" so... yeah udndidn
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cosmicmoved · 3 years
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FORMAL INTRODUCTION FOR KITAHARA KOJIRO
hi, for some bizarre reason unbeknownst to even me, this muse has been like half a year in the making (actually, it’s been 5 months but that’s close enough for to still feel shame), but he’s finally here. the ““ evil ”” witch oc! witch man who does murders! whatever you want to know him as! anyway, from now on you just know him as kojiro or koj bc that’s his name <3 please look under the read more link for more info! (WARNING: the following will touch on darker themes like death, murder and, to a lesser extent, abuse. this is a heavy character so please keep that in mind if you ever wish to interact!)
BASIC FACTS
firstly, this oc is mostly connected to tsukidate sho, my witch detective oc. the connection mostly lies in the fact they’re both witches who interact with crime/murder in some capacity but their families are also close.
his name is kitahara kojiro ( 北原浩二郎 ), known as either kojiro or koji by those around him. i haven’t decided his exact birthday yet but he was born in 1990 and is approx. 31 years old. (i understand this is ‘older’ by tumblr rp standards but, by normal people standards, early 30s is still relatively young so basically, if u make old ppl jokes, i will bite u)
technically speaking, kitahara is his father’s surname but he never really knew his father and was raised by a single mother. however, his mother made the choice of raising him with his father’s name in an attempt to distance the pair from her own family. i’ll explain why that is the case in the backstory section of this post.
kojiro is a witch. he’s not involved in any broader witching community nor does his being a witch have much bearing on his professional life but he is a talented witch, despite being trained only by his mother. what he DOES use his magic for, however, is to cause a lot of problems.
oh yeah, he’s also cursed. and he kills people. because he’s cursed. again, i’ll explain this in more detail further in the post but it’s kind of an important fact. he was cursed to die at twenty years old and he’s still alive eleven years later because the only way to hold off death is to kill other people <3 omg that’s awkward
in his normal everyday life, kojiro works as a cake decorator and does photography on the side too. he’s a creative person and tbh he developed a lot of stupid hobbies in his teens, thanks to the belief he was gonna die by the end of them, so he ended up making a living out of what he liked. he also didn’t go to uni because he didn’t see the point because, again, he thought he’d be dead by 20 and then, when he wasn’t, he stopped caring.
it’s also important to note that he, uh, doesn’t give off murderer vibes at all. he’s friendly and sociable (and not in the ‘this guy’s definitely a weirdo’ way). 
i kept calling him ‘evil witch oc’ while i was working on him but, as i’ve said before, i think that’s actually a little too simple and i wouldn’t actually call him evil. he’s NOT a good person but i don’t think evil is the right word for him either. he doesn’t believe he’s a good person either but he’s learned to justify his own actions as a means of survival. kojiro doesn’t enjoy killing people, he doesn’t take any pleasure from the act of murder, but he’s also relatively calm about it too. since he doesn’t have to do it on a super regular basis, he prefers to target shitty people and esp corrupt witches in positions of authority (not really in a self-righteous way, more just because they piss him off). he has specific personal reasons for this.
he has a pretty intense fear of death. you think he’d be over it, having spent his whole life knowing he was meant to die early, but the ability to push his death back sort of flipped some switch in his head and, over the years, he went from quiet apprehension to paranoid obsession.
why is this muse 30 years old? firstly, because i want him to be. that would probably be enough but also his age actually IS important. the vibe i’m going for with this muse is, as i’ve said like once before, is what happens to the hero of the story after they complete their quest? what if that quest doesn’t go as planned? kojiro’s quest was to hunt down the demon associated with his curse. that’s his original ‘story’. what i want to explore here is the aftermath of that, what happens after the weight of the quest comes crashing down on the hero and they return to normal, everyday life where they’re forced to shoulder it as though it’s nothing. a decade after his initial story, he’s worn out. he’s not the same person he was at the start.
BACKSTORY
this isn’t going to be written in a super formal or tidy way because i honestly just can’t be bothered turning this into a proper piece of decent writing. this is only going to be in paragraph form because i don’t like putting backstories into bullet points unless it’s super brief.
kojiro was born in 1990 as the first (and only) child of his unmarried mother (as yet unnamed) when she was just nineteen years old. she was raised in a strict and traditional witching family so the fact that she’d had this child out of wedlock AND that the father wasn’t a witch didn’t exactly land well. regardless, they let her stay in the family home but it would soon turn out that the child was cursed. according to a member of tsukidate family (i.e; sho’s family who, as i said before, are on good terms with kojiro’s family and who are also knowledgeable in the realm of curses), the curse determined that the child would die on the day of his twentieth birthday unless he was able to kill the demon associated with the curse.
as if the judgement from her own family wasn’t enough, the curse brought with it a lot of stigma from the witching community and so his mother made the decision to leave home by herself when kojiro was a year old. all she could afford was a small, one bedroom apartment but, so long as she and her son had a roof over their heads, anything was good enough. kojiro would live a relatively normal life, going to school with other children his age and away from other witches, but his mother would teach him what she knew. although she wanted to him to live as easily as possible, she felt she had to prepare him for his inevitable encounter with the demon. kojiro grew up knowing about the curse too. there was no way to keep it a secret --- even if weren’t cruel to hide it from him, the curse had left a visible mark on him (still working out the details of what this looks like and where on his body it is but it basically looks like a tattoo to most people).
when kojiro turns eighteen, he decides he’s old enough to face this demon and claim control of his own life (maybe i’ll write this as an actual drabble / piece of writing one day bc i’m reeeally brushing over it here). it had been trapped by his family and forced to lie dormant until kojiro would arrive to take it down. what the demon reveals to him, however, changes everything. there is no cure to this curse, the demon tells him, everything he was told is a lie. the curse, it turns out, has tied the demon to him and the only way to kill the demon is for kojiro to die along with it. the reveal is this: when kojiro born, they took him from his mother for a short time. i want to emphasise that her family are pretty shitty people because they decided this would be the perfect opportunity both to punish her and to solve a very specific problem -- getting rid of this demon. the same member of the tsukidate who ‘diagnosed’ the curse was the one who put it on kojiro. i’ll explain the actual curse and story behind it (and the demon) in more detail at a later date but the basic gist of it is that kojiro’s family lied to him and used him as a disposable means to an end. his mother, for the record, was entirely unaware of this. but what else does the demon tell him? although the curse cannot be lifted, it can be held off. this demon thrives off death and, through death, it can stay strong and continue to keep kojiro alive. if it grows weak and it is not sustained, kojiro will grow weak along with it and inevitably die. kojiro informs the demon that he will not kill anybody. that is out of the question.
a month before his twentieth birthday, kojiro kills a man. he had tried to forget about everything the demon had said, tried to forget that his own family had set him up for guaranteed destruction, but it hadn’t been easy. it had set him on edge and he’d become unstable. he’d fallen into a slump and his friends grew worried for him. yet, after a while, he came to accept it and tried to make peace with his life as it was. he put it to the back of his mind as best he could. but he’d discovered that the man his mother had been seeing over the past few years since he’d moved out to live on his own was abusive. so he killed him. everything the demon had told him risen to the surface and he’d asked himself does it matter if this guy dies instead of me? after all, kojiro was curious. he didn’t really want to die and he had wondered if the demon was telling the truth. to this day, kojiro doesn’t know what to believe but it’s much too late for all that now. he followed his mother’s boyfriend home and broke his neck in a dark alleyway. thanks to the magic he’d been taught growing up, he was able to ensure that nobody every traced him to the accident and, when the clock struck midnight on his twentieth birthday, kojiro broke down crying with relief.
he wasn’t dead. he still isn’t dead. he’d never wanted to die. over the years, the killing has gotten a lot easier. over the years, the answer to that question comes much quicker; if somebody has to die, why should it be me?
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hajimeow-archived · 3 years
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Yo Hajime talk abt ur kin mems
since there were no specifications on which ones i am going to start from the beginning and go where my brain takes me from there. they're all gonna be for hajime bc i physically cannot think about my other memories anymore jsyk
also! this ended up being so long i had to put a cut. i will not be apologizing because i feel no remorse.
so first the basic stuff, i remember having a med skin tone and a FUCK ton of freckles like those motherfuckers were everywhere i had skin. also i was 5'7 i think?? or 5'6. i still can't remember exactly but it's something like that. i was also alloaro, some form of mlm, unfortunately cis, and autistic and probably had some other stuff like adhd or depression or whatever but i forgot. also i was kinda muscle-y but also chubby at the same time. and i had light green eyes. basically i was fanon hajime JSJSKDJDKS
and i was going over the wiki recently and my personality was EXACTLY how they described it like i'm genuinely surprised they got it so accurate
i don't remember much pre-game and post game, most of my memories are in game but i do remember pre game chiaki really well, honestly i rly miss her :( she would always reassure me that i didn't need a talent and i never even cared when she beat me in games cus just simply playing them with her was so fun .,.,,;:,,...,,!:&:&:jsjdjskskck</3
anyways. in game. ok. i'm gonna skip over memories where i just know feelings and not specific things like strong feelings or ppl saying stuff or else this would be so long. also obvious sdr2 spoilers
so i remember the party & blackout in the beginning of the game pretty clearly. i was mostly just standing alone in the corner and watching everyone have fun, but it was really freeing to see the others able to enjoy themselves in such pressing circumstances. then the blackout-- it was kinda like all that happiness going away and the dread and denial immediately setting in .
anyways i remember like panicking and wanting to cry when i lifted the table cloth cus i really liked twogami. i'm p sure i did end up crying cus i really liked them for their realism and leadership skills, and the realization that one of us killed them and that the killing game was actually real etc etc
anyway i don't remember much from the investigation or trial besides being really freaked out when nagito basically admitted to being the killer n stuff, and pretty much all the body discoveries after that (besides ch 5) we're just like "ah shit here we go again" but i do remember mikans trial really freaking me out when she just straight up shifted completely, and i also remember being really proud of fuyuhiko for putting his walls down a bit and deciding to help everyone out while the despair disease was going around
anyway enough of the boring stuff, i spent basically all my free time with komaeda, chiaki and mikan (in order of frequency) and with mikan i mostly listened to her talk about medical stuff and i comforted her when she needed to vent, but i didn't hang out with her much because the constant apologizing n stuff started to bother me since i really liked seeing her happy. chiaki i would mostly play games with and we wouldn't talk much, but she gave me a really strong sense of familiarity like when we played games together it gave me a shit ton of deja vu
AND i've already talked a lot about komaeda but idc i'm doing it again. so we started talking cus of him waking me up on the beach obvs and i was pretty attached right off the bat, but i stopped talking to him for awhile because the way he acted in the first trial REALLY scared me so i just got a pit in my stomach even being around him
but he was the one who started approaching me first, i'm guessing since he couldn't rly sense anything was wrong he just kinda picked things up where they left off and started talking w me at breakfast n stuff and it was pretty weird at first, but i wanted to give him a chance and didn't wanna be rude so i accepted offers to hang out in his cottage n stuff
i remember he has surgery scars tho and i'm rly mad ppl don't draw him with any!! i think he had about 5 and i don't remember all of them but i know one was a skin graft on his leg and the one on his side/stomach that i touched wassssss for appendix removal maybe???? mmmm i'm not too sure about that one tho
also !!!! his death. hoooooly shit. ok so yunno the despair that junko always talks about ?????? yeah <3!! i remember like once i saw his body and took the reality in i just. straight up could NOT stand i like fell to my knees and jsut . cried. like i had no thoughts my head was so full that it was empty i just kinda sat there and silent cried while chiaki stood next to me it was so awful dude
later while investigating n stuff i felt really bad ab how i treated him and thought about him, and i thought a lot about our last interaction. it was the first time i had ever approached him myself cus usually he'd come to me. i was gonna hang out with chiaki but i wanted to check up on him first, so i did and he told me to go hang out with the others and i just. knew something terrible was about to happen.
OH AND THE FUNHOUSE OMG ok i literally. i usually didn't mind being around komaeda like he was chill most of the time when he wasn't ranting about hope but when he was acting like such a bitch in the funhouse i wanted to punch his stupid twink ass so bad like...... what BUSINESS does this dude have being such an asshole. he doesn't even know what face wash is. what the fuck. which is another fun fact! komaeda did shower every so often which is why he didn't smell that bad but his skin was always so dry cus he didn't know how to actually wash right and do proper skincare so he just washed his face w soap and left it like that
also he didn't need to cut his nails cus they were so brittle they would just break off on their own <3 plus he had a nail biting habit so they just never grew ever
OH AND THIS IS THE SADDEST THING i remember feeling so bad for this man bc i would like put my hand on his shoulder and he would lean into it. i mean i'd tap his shoulder for a SECOND and girl when i let go hed be lowkey so sad i could just sense it like??????dude he needed a hug SSO BAD like when i hugged him in my cuddling memory he was like holding on for dear life but also was like "u dOnT hAvE tO tOuCh TrAsH LiKe mE hAjImE" like dude it was the saddest shit. i want to hug him forever. like what the fuck what the fuck!!!!!!!!!
also a thing hed do when he started ranting ab hope n shit like he would just go on and on and yunno that one sprite where he's hugging himself yeah he literally did that shit. also sometimes hed just stare dead at me and start backing me into a corner ((ish-- we were usually sitting somewhere but he mostly just got super close to me) and it was the scariest shit i. bro if i saw him like that on the streets i'd return him to the mental hospital like i can remember it somewhat vividly and that shit was TERRIFYING i mean obvs after i shoved him away and told him to cool it he'd apologize and go back to the way he was but jeez dude ....
also a little fun fact the only reason i really kept hanging out with him (i had a few ofc but this was the most prominent) is cus he was hot in my stupid monkey brain. yes that's it. like that's literally pretty much it. i hate admitting it but this post is SO fucking long i doubt anyone's gonna read it anyway so i'm admitting it now lol
anyway i hope u enjoyed :) i'm glad u asked btw! i'm sure you regret it though!
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@uberoll-oystercrackers putting this PT convo on blast just for the sake of switching to this format where u don’t have to break everything up via replies because [comically deep inhale]
honestly like idc idc i guess ppl are just like “uhh mytho’s got nothing going on b/c he has no feelings!!” like Yeah Correct, that’s a premise / inciting factor for this series and everything everyone’s doing lol, it’s only Boring if you don’t think about the character at all lmfao which i guess some ppl don’t, but like, there’s only 4 of them.....it’s Wildly Interesting that he literally has no feelings at first, like, for one thing it’s cool how there’s always the Idea of characters who don’t have emotions or act on them, but this is like the rare “realistic” situation where having no feelings means he needs someone to steer him around and make choices for him (and how Vulnerable that leaves him lmfao like episode 2 is wild but also that ppl just haven’t really realized that they Could just pick mytho up and pitch him into a wall, and fakir and rue are sort of careful neutral alliance keeping tabs on him) and you know, the whole s1 structure of mytho regaining both Capacity For / Experience of An Emotion and his sense of identity and by extent of all this his agency, and how like, Thematic everything surrounding this character is that’s reflected in the overall series like. trying to control someone for your own benefit vs being willing to sacrifice your own interests (and then some...) for their freedom & the Protecting Someone (And/Or Wanting To) As A Love Language that all the characters show for each other at various points & hope vs despair.......and like No Shit he’s dispassionate & passive b/c he can’t Feel Feelings & resultantly can’t make decisions or feel motivations but obviously he’s still Motivating other characters to act on his behalf, & there’s so much mystery & drama already in “yeah this guy you think is just a neat handsome guy is also an actual prince from a story who’s Real & sacrificed his heart in the fight with an evil giant raven monster that eats people & so he can’t feel anything or remember who he is” like damn!!! epic of him even if right now he can’t do much of anything on his own. i’m interested, and then i’m Interested every time in the Drama & Mystery of this person regaining parts of himself and completely rediscovering An Emotional Experience and how that is totally recontextualizing his entire existence for him.....
plus also even though “person literally lost heart via magic and doesn’t know what Feeling Things is” isn’t a We’ve All Been There situation i was like oh and you know it’s not like what mytho’s got going on isn’t potentially Relatable....can get into a side essay about dapressione and trauma and other types of stuff that can make it seem like someone can’t/shouldn’t have full access to their feelings / self / agency &/or it’s Dangerous if they try.....whew
but continuing on YEAH ugh just completely fascinated with mytho the Entire Time actually lol like, i’ve tended to lose steam in early s2 b/c he’s sort of Less involved beyond the [hehe time to cause some trouble in this particular ep] role lol but even so it’s like well it’s kinda fun when at least somebody’s being a bitch who lives for drama lmfaooooo & we get mytho Struggling Internally & sometimes punching through that way but again it’s like yeah oops the guy was basically autonomous but zwoop here’s a problem where that doesn’t mean shit anymore lol b/c he’s got this alternate evil self steering the ship all the time now lol got em.....the Peak of that i guess is where we get to have an epic swordfight between raven!mytho and fakir like you know what fuck yes!!! the intrinsic drama of that lmfao!!!! and then it’s like “oh no :/ loving the drama? that’s just what drosselmeyer wants” except Not b/c actually what makes it totally rule is that it’s this chance for Real Mytho to come through for the sake of protecting fakir (tbt “i wonder what i think of you, fakir”...) and really like that being what prompts fakir’s “you know what, even though before i was afraid my role as a knight would kill Me and i’m afraid my coincidental(?) role as a guy who can Reality Write could kill Anyone Else, i gotta try b/c that’s the only thing i could possibly do here and i want to try protecting everyone else b/c everyone else including mytho is protecting Me” and like augh everyone is so Thoughtful about how to try to help mytho out even as like, they can’t hardly interact with him or undo the situation lol.....as you’re getting into the series finale and everyone’s just outright Voicing things and you get “i/we want to protect mytho” like 32x and it’s beautiful each time ;___; like and well sorry but him & his heart/lack of are also the heart of the whole story here.....
and you know what *i* want to protect mytho, sympathizing with all the characters like fuck yes you’re so right, this guy rules, episode 6 aka The Fear Episode is SO good, like, you’ve gotten kinda used to the episodic format here, ep 5 did sure also make it obvious that things are Building on what’s happening prior here & that there’s stakes and stuff but it’s such a shakeup, like, that maybe just kinda sneakily dipping in and out of the arena giving back a piece of his heart until it’s done with, no problem, Isn’t Gonna Happen, and again, the Drama of it all......that the heart shards are yeah kind of their own People who are these fractions of mytho’s self and the way you interact with them is gonna like, affect things, since tutu didn’t like “resolve” things with that heart shard and just kinda got him on a technicality there lmfao so it’s like, yeah not only does mytho have a more general / abstract cause to be afraid of tutu & her bringing all these Unknowns & completely new things to him / changing things up and apparently introducing conflict, but you’ve gone and gotten his capacity for fear all recently riled up and specifically afraid of his interaction with You from 5 sec ago, and how could anyone know this mysterious magical being giving you Negative Feelings is like, Safe......and i’m sure it’s all compounding here, like, it’s Wild to be suddenly experiencing A Feeling for the (seeming) first time, and that in itself sure could be Scary, he just hasn’t had the proper emotion available with with to Be Afraid, now he’s gotten back a freshly stoked (capacity for) Fear and how off the shits it must be to be afraid for the first time anyways, or to be feeling the other stuff for the first time, and who knows what Unfun Feelings could come next, there’s a lot to freak out about.......and not like it’s trying That hard to never suggest like oh fakir's not that bad even though he’s technically an antagonist at the start b/c of being at odds with / against the protagonist, it’s pretty telling there lol like he’s unhappy with mytho having feelings again at all and has already been getting mad about it but is just being Helpful here and trying to comfort him, like aw that’s neat i think it’s nice, and again throwing it back to “I Wonder What I Think Of You, Fakir” you get fakir reassuring mytho that nobody but him is around, and mytho having this capacity for Fear is choosing to confide in fakir re: what he’s dealing with here (not that this would on it’s own be some guarantee that mytho’s Right to be unafraid of fakir, but, knowing all we eventually know...) like again lol it’s funny that drosselmeyer’s loving the Drama of mytho only having regained Negative Feelings like, i mean i’m soaking it in as well but it’s like, that guy’s all about Angst and it’s like no im here all about the Hurt/Comfort more like, thank you lmfao
it’s also SO good how it’s like, the next episode is turning around & giving the story a way forward not by like, oh let’s just counteract this Fear mytho’s struggling with by returning the....emotion of Courage i guess, but rather by giving him back Curiosity to ultimately lead to him actually seeking a conversation with tutu.......and it’s like AUGH it’s soooo fun that he goes to that river and has a conversation with his own heart shard lmfao like that’s you!!! and that You does not realize you’re them!!! that’s wild and i love it......wait i took low res screenshots when i rewatched this a few weeks ago lmfao
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i Love it lmfao like it’s Such a good choice to have him not only have lost his Emotions but also memories / knowledge of who he, himself, even is.....like yeah man it was all on you to fight this heart eating raven monster!!!!!!!!! which you know, it’s also Fun that earlier in that episode when he and fakir are hanging out in the secret Problems Mill (which....fakir is hilarious like that lmfao. whole other tangent here like ppl are not only rolling with Animals As People but stuff like “yeah fakir might just be like ‘oops gotta go!’ and whisk mytho away to various out of the way Locations” like lmfao these teens have some free rein, but it’s nothing compared to s2 where it’s like “They Were Roommates but ig fakir tried to kill mytho who’s now being really dramatic and weird which is v different from before and maybe he’s in love with that one random dude who’s around now, which sucks for everyone else, oops now he’s just like Vanishing for god knows how long at a time it’s fine!!!!” lmfao like god. ballet school just is like that sometimes...) anyways Yeah that mytho’s been having nightmares about the raven and fakir is just going like IT’S FINE JUST DON’T THINK ABOUT IT lol and knowing fakir is also being pretty driven / restricted by fear, reasonably, as he thinks (well. and is correct) that he’s The Knight and his fate is literally written as “yeah if the story gets going and you’re a part of it you’ll just be killed” like yeah, oof......Wonder What I Think Of You Fakir like yeah AND he is that knight you actually did know who was suddenly killed trying to protect you and he’s sorta accepted that role again except he’s not really a fan of that Being Killed thing so here we’re having some issues in his misguided approach here re: Mytho Should Not Get His Heart Back, but he’s also trying to protect them Both from the story, and he’s only So Willing to act Against mytho, like, well hey thanks for apologizing after you hit him and then like, not doing that anymore lol, v reasonable how he’s struggling here lol where he’s trying to Protect mytho but the story a) wants to invite tragedy and b) has already said that The Knight has been / will be killed and can’t actually protect the prince within the story, also c) he’s just like one random high school guy out here......and also that it must just be kinda hard to adapt to this changing situation where mytho Is regaining this sense of self and motivation, but for like the past decade or whatever he Has needed fakir to just be in charge and tell him what to do all the time and, if he had the sense of what it was to trust someone, trust fakir to just always be acting in his best interest, but then mytho’s idea of his own best interest a) starts to Exist and b) is at odds w/fakir’s b/c also c) he doesn’t have All his feelings yet, Or all his memories, while fakir is like “noooo i know the story”.....like there was never any need to just like tell him he sucks at random times lol but it’s also kind of funny that’s just part of fakir’s shtick, calling mytho a dumbass one more time when he’s just fully himself as The Prince again lmfaooo. but prior to that, surely fakir could wonder what mytho thinks of him (or potentially Could think of him) too.......it’s just soooo good when mytho is like, expressing things verbally while trying to work through / figure out Feelings and even ones that he doesn’t have back yet, and it’s always fun how that inevitably throws off whatever character he’s musing about this to......including whenever ahiru’s just like “oh fuck yes he can do this b/c he has more feelings back now, that rules” and/or “aw :( he’s struggling w/this b/c he only has Some of his heart back”
and also that reminds me it’s SO good when the characters just kinda get to Do Something together lmfao like. ahiru and rue hanging out when looking for mytho that one time, iconic stuff, mytho and ahiru hanging out in the previous episode, iconic, maybe it kills me that in the first ep of s2 you have mytho saying ahiru’s his friend and the only person he feels like he can tell anything (and ahiru feeling bad she hasn’t Told Him Everything lol) and then he basically never gets to interact with her again knowing and as himself like Scream it’s fine ;v; !!!!!! let these people spend more than 3 seconds together Interacting lmfao it’s soooo good when they do :’0
and THEN you get into how there’s all this stuff re: The Story, like, fakir is the reincarnated knight, ahiru is the duck given tutu’s abilities Via a piece of mytho’s heart, but we had the original knight and tutu in the story as these actual ppl who we only hear a Little bit of lore about, but mytho actually knew / knows, and like, the original genesis for tutu only being on 1 Page of the story and apparently drosselmeyer doesn’t even really put any thought into what her motivations could be lol like yeah idk whatever she wants to marry the prince or whatever so that’s why she loves him and Says It and disappears......and like we have almost No direct info about her but uh nbd at least some of her actual essence is actually now an intrinsic part of mytho’s actual heart and specifically embedded in the heart shard of Hope, like damn!!!! you Know there was something more Real and Complex going on there and i love it so much.......and the original Knight, lohengrin.....might have been doomed to be unable to protect mytho with his sword, but there’s other ways to protect that guy and Someone needed to be doing it.......i’m just like wow mytho’s gf and bf!!!! and they both sort of died but hey. there’s still a lot to think about
so yeah lmfao love that you can originally see this series like, a decade ago and here it is like damn still lying down / yelling / generally riled up about mytho and just having So Much to think about / appreciate from this series like. it’s so Singular and has so much going on.......cherish it and i’m just still anytime like [epcot vine voice] Mytho...........
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sobdasha · 3 years
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i’ve been rereading a lot of my favorite stuff for months now
since I'm lacking in spoons for library trips
And when I was cottoning on to the fact that I have, in fact, been autistic all along, one of the things I realized is that the connecting thread between the kinds of stories and kinds of characters that I like is in fact that they display autistic or autistic-adjacent traits. I had realized this, come up with a lot of examples. I knew this.
Haha yeah as I'm actually rereading the things the evidence is damning that I did not come even close to understanding the full depth of it.
~ Taucris Ithesta is Autistic and Other Adjacent Things re: Leckie's Novels ~
Actually let's start with The Raven Tower because you can't actually argue with me about autistic Siat.
Siat actively avoids eye contact, is """shy""", speaks too softly, has an excellent grasp of humor, likes rocks as a special interest, likes to collect rocks, likes to sort rocks, likes to line up rocks, has one (1) bff to conduct social interactions for her, notices patterns, is good at learning, and is considered disabled by society's standards.
Ughhhhh all that talk about rocks makes me sad all over again that I pitched my rock collection when I moved out (I saved the best fossils, though).
(ETA: I have since bought more rocks because polished gemstones with carvings on them make for great stims, I am very pleased with me)
Okay so now that that's been established, let's talk about Strength and Patience of the Hill.
Because this rock gets me. Originally I figured it was probably, y'know, like with Ancillary Justice Leckie's given me an ace-aro main character and I can identify with that as an ace-aro. But unlike Breq, who very much loves people and wants to take care of them and found family etc, Strength and Patience of the Hill doesn't give much of a shit about people. With some exceptions of people that are it's people, how dare you mess with them, Strength and Patience of the Hill will kick your ass. Although even then I'm not sure Strength and Patience is all that great at taking care of people. Also Strength and Patience of the Hill is very much absorbed in its own selfishness, very much consumed with his own internal world, and I am also a jerk like that so it was very relatable.
(Yes I am using multiple pronouns because one of my many favorite parts of the book signing was watching everyone scramble over pronouns for a rock because "It never came up so I never figured it out" and I'm pretty sure Strength and Patience doesn't even use pronouns because why would you need a gendered pronoun to refer to yourself??? You don't even need a name to refer to yourself, actually I'm pretty sure Strength and Patience doesn't actually consider itself to have a name.)
So it made sense that this rock just really gets me. I know it's bad when the majority of representation for ace-aro characters is stereotypical robots or rocks or aliens (oooh or sentient space rocks wait wAIT now that I've said that I've just realized the Myriad is the definition of a Crystal Gem, pffft) or whatever but honestly I don't care because I just really identify with the robots??? So I really liked it, YMMV.
(It's probably also bad if the trend for autistically-coded characters is just stereotypical robots or rocks or aliens or whatever too but like honestly a big autistic #mood is feeling like you are a robot or an alien or whatever so maybe that's why I'm not offended???)
My point being that Strength and Patience of the Hill displays a lot of autistic traits and is therefore very relatable, in this Ted Talk I will.
Strength and Patience of the Hill processes things slowly. She will come up with the perfect retort and tell you 5 years later with absolutely no context.
It loves daydreaming, staring at things, noticing patterns, and enjoying quiet and solitude. It loves thinking about why things are the way they are. Look I have fantasized about what if I could exist as just a pair of eyeballs and a mind floating around in space, observing things, thinking things, and not having to actually interact with the world, and I'm pretty sure this rock is living that life. (Until y'know it gets told life doesn't work like that.)
Despite his slow processing speed, and taking a while to learn language, Strength and Patience of the Hill is good at learning things, and I feel like it's the kind of sort-of-sideways, context-based accumulation of knowledge that I learn through as well.
Strength and Patience of the Hill has one (1) friend, and through the Myriad it benefits from the fact that the Myriad has an actual social circle, without having to put forth any effort of maintaining friends on its own, which is 100% the way to do it.
Strength and Patience of the Hill tends to attract the other "quirky" kids--that is, my impression is that the people who become his priests tend to be those people who look at the world a little differently, those people on the fringes. Trans people, autistic people, people with other disabilities.
Strength and Patience of the Hill trying to explain the state of affairs in Vastai to Eolo: "Okay so my first memory I can recall is…" No, okay, no, I know, it's just literally how the narrative has to be told, I'm not criticizing, but that doesn't make it any less reminiscent of "autistic person trying to explain a simple thing but starts in with 10 pages of context first to ensure the over-explanation makes sense" (haha that's why I consistently got stuck training endless new hires, I'm literally so bad at it that I'm the best in the department and I hate life).
Difficulty understanding other's feelings/points of view/circumstances (I know it's because he's a rock and a god but that doesn't make it any less relatable), hmmm what else…
Oh right, a typical interaction with Strength and Patience of the Hill:
Person: (gives offering) Strength and Patience: (offering is accepted because the transaction literally occurred, no need to respond) Person: "(asks petition)" Strength and Patience: ... Strength and Patience: wait Strength and Patience: what Strength and Patience: wait was I supposed to do something else Strength and Patience: did you ask something of me? Strength and Patience: I don't understand what you asked????? Strength and Patience: it's been an entire year now it's too awkward Strength and Patience: i'm sure it's. Fine. Strength and Patience: It's fine. (rinse and repeat)
Like I said, this rock gets me.
(Haha I was reading through my notes from the book signing and I found "Strength + Patience doesn't give a shit about balance, Strength + Patience is just selfish, which it manifests as apathy, which is why this rock gets me. All of my best interpersonal traits also spring from not giving a fuck and waiting ppl to go away faster lol" and why is that, oh because ~I'm~ ~autistic~ pfffft)
I started this post a while ago and this was as far as I got and I don't remember if I had more??? Time to talk about Taucris probably!!!
(I'm skipping Ancillary Justice etc for now because I do want to make a post about that but like there's just. So much. In those books. It's masking all the way down. So it can be its own post. One day.)
Because I waited so long I forgot what I was going to write so I'll just grab the book and flip through and comment as I see things.
To start off with: Taucris and adulthood. I've seen other people pick up primarily on the gender aspect of it--that Taucris waited until almost 25 to take her adult name because she she never figured out what her gender was (non- uhhhhhh what's the word for binary when it's three and not two? Non-tri-something Taucris in a society with 3 options but all 3 options are gendered? I'll go with that.) What really resonated for me was that Taucris waited until almost 25 to take her adult name because she never felt like an adult. And I get that ~everyone feels that way~ but I feel like it's Different for Taucris in the same way it's Different for me. Anyway I feel like no matter which aspect you choose, it's probably an autistic vibe.
Also Taucris seems to have a bit of a flat affect? She seems very serious (both in body language and in speech), and kind of intense sometimes when she talks, and Ingray notes how Taucris usually doesn't smile (she smiles with Ingray because Ingray makes her comfortable) and has always been """shy""".
Also Taucris...talks strangely? I am not sure exactly how to explain it. It's not written badly or anything, it's...you know how sometimes you suddenly sit back and look at dialogue and go no one speaks like this and it throws you out of the story because you dropped your suspension of disbelief? Taucris kind of gives me that feeling, and only Taucris. Almost like her speech is a little bit stilted? Awkward? She's very serious and matter of fact and says things like "You've always been so kind to me" with a straight face. But it doesn't feel like a """bad writing""" (quotation marks for subjectivity) thing. But I notice it every time I read her dialogue… I think it's just that Taucris is autistic and awkward and that's how she speaks. Also I think she's adorable.
Police work is Taucris' special interest. So much so that that's the entire reason she became an adult, so she could engage in her special interest better. She's ~weird~ for her single-minded interest and her interest in a job below her ~status~ and she doesn't care, she set her heart on this anyway, volunteering and interning so on.
Oh that was something else I was going to talk about--Taucris mentions feeling like she doesn't have her shit together, not like Ingray (who also doesn't feel she has her shit together. Kind of like "no one really feels like an adult). But Taucris seems quite calm and capable in Planetary Security. I don't know if this is just masking, but...I really hope that she does feel that way in her job. That because it's her special interest, that helps balance out the stress of being alive and simultaneously employed full-time. That because she's been volunteering and interning here so long, she's been familiar with the office and it wasn't a stressful transition. That she acts confident because she feels competent and respected. Taucris may look calm and cool and collected on the outside and be screaming on the inside but I hope she actually feels pretty good on the inside too.
I would also like to say that I like Taucris' nother. Despite what Danach implies, I get the picture from Taucris that e is supportive of Taucris' personality and interests even when e doesn't get it. E indulged her interest in police work, e didn't understand why Taucris wasn't taking an adult name but tried to be patient about it...so I assume that also means that e was understanding of all of Taucris quirks and stims and particularities. E's been a good support system while Taucris' peers have not.
(Except for Ingray, Taucris' one (1) friend.)
I like Taucris' relationship with Deputy Chief Veret too--the way Taucris quietly manages breakfast so e doesn't have to think about it or be put out (this is The Love Language to me, not being inconvenienced, and I feel that this is part of my personality because my personality is autistic, so). I don't know why specifically Taucris does this, but all the reasons I could come up with feel very wholesome. Taucris respects Veret as her boss and as a person. Taucris is empathetic and thoughtful (she doesn't like Danach but she tries to consider and understand where he's coming from; Taucris isn't Hatli but she considers Veret's fasting etc to be valid rather than a choice of superstition). Taucris' situation is different but she knows that it doesn't feel good to be treated as weird, to be sneered at because you don't act the way people expect you to. Taucris, being autistic, maybe has a lot of experience with "perfectly good foods" she won't eat. Taucris strikes me as someone who observes quietly, and considers carefully, and maybe takes a long time to make up her mind but when she moves it's deliberately and not carelessly. Which is, to me, a masking trait.
In the quantum version of this post I was going to write everything so polished and lay out my points so nicely but clearly that didn't happen and I don't know where to end this and I'm sure I didn't even explain things that well so I'll just say, I feel it was very autistic of Taucris in the last chapter to just be like "well IDK what you want from me and rather than expending massive effort trying to suss it out and guessing wrong I'll just be direct: I know you can't talk about what happened so I won't ask you about what happened unless you want me to ask you about what happened in which case you should say so and I will ask but I think maybe you just need to watch a movie with me instead."
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wonderfullyalone · 3 years
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okay okay let’s see if i can get all my thoughts out in one post:
1. we got 61 minutes of our lady 🥺 i missed him so much
2. hearing juno narrate was so good hhh i miss hearing his thoughts. he’s grown and changed so much his thought are so much more nuanced? and he gives more consideration to things rather than rushing in to the worst possible conclusion
3. juno being absolutely in love w nureyev gave me the serotonin i so badly needed. they’re so cute i love their flirting hhh
4. also nureyev creating a whole notebook and quest just to get juno out of bed and talking to ppl??? that’s literally the sweetest thing ever??? best boyfriend peter nureyev
5. speaking of labels it was extremely funny how kabert just dodged juno calling himself nureyev’s “boyfriend/girlfriend/partner”
6. also juno talking about diamond 👀👀 that was Interesting
7. back to some sense of chronological order juno and vespa actually getting along!!!! or at least talking without being at each other’s throats!!!! and some genuine heartfelt conversation mixed in there too!!!!!!
8. also what the Fuck is up w this thing in junos blood?? i couldn’t catch it well but he’s got something?? i wonder if it’ll be relevant
9. also !!!!! buddy and vespa and nureyev conversation !!!!!!! but when he thought they said his real name hhhhh
10. what’s the instrument nureyev plays?? is that the instrument he’s picked up when he broke his leg??
11. everything about juno and rita was so good i missed their interactions 🥺 they love each other so much 🥺🥺🥺
12. juno affirming he wouldn’t be going anywhere without rita felt like a personal christmas gift
13. the real character reveal all along was that jet is the funniest person on this ship
14. the way each character provides support and car in their own way?? is so good???
15. the way juno talked about nureyev and not needing to explain himself when he’s w him 🥺🥺🥺
15. buddy’s whole “it’s not about making the shot it’s about challenging yourself to try” HHHHHH
16. also backtrack nureyev not wanting juno in his room hmm it’s not like juno hasn’t seen that mess before so. why.
17. juno’s “i felt like i was releasing a breath i was holding in the past 24 hours.” yeah.
18. while we’re at it juno’s “when i’m with him all my pieces fit just right”
19. juno’s “i want to know everything about him and i want him to know everything about me”
20. juno’s “love is something i’m making”
21. he’s so in love w nureyev hhhhhh
22. back to the plot. jets speech was so beautiful aaaaah
23. buddy and vespa. vespa and buddy. their vows were so sweet they love each other so much
24. i knew the minute agent g said “bring the director in” i knew it was sasha. asshole.
25. my thought process literally was “hey asshole. fuck y- oh wait you’re good? never- OH FUCK YOU”
26. hey sasha what’s it like to turn into the person you never wanted to?? huh????
27. i can’t fucking believe you stunned your childhood best friend what the fuck??? what the fuck?????
28. juno didn’t even get to ask nureyev who his first love was or get his prize damn girl you couldn’t have waited???
29. also nureyev’s first love - plot relevant?
30. what was he gonna say to juno before he walked out the room in the morning. stop doing this kabert.
31. lmao if nureyev has already stolen and given away the radicals they are in deep trouble dhfhfjk
32. theyre after one radical and it’s not the curemother prime so. which. they’ve been after them since shadows on the ship so that’s either the map, the key, or the blade. the key is unlikely since they have no way of knowing that m’tendre gave them that. the map or the blade is possible? maybe the blade? which nureyev conveniently lost last episode? oops
33. i can’t believe she actually stunned her childhood best friend. i am hoping she’s planning something more than she’s letting on bc christ.
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iheartkikixo · 4 years
Text
Thoughts on the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D series finale
********AOS SERIES FINALE SPOILERS AHEAD*********
********AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D SERIES FINALE SPOILERS AHEAD*********
*******SERIOUSLY. IF YOU DON’T WANNA BE SPOILED STOP READING NOW********
You were warned.
Okay. So Agents of Shield is finished.
On the first watch I won’t lie, I was REALLY conflicted and bothered by the ending. I really couldn’t understand why they chose to go that route and I ended up pacing my house for like 30mins. However, after a couple hours of mulling it over, a rewatch and a nap. I understand why they ended it the way they did and actually have a newfound respect and maybe even love for the ending.
I know on first watch seeing everyone (especially May and Daisy) separated and alone initially feels depressing and possibly like the last 7 years of building this family was redundant, but if you look closer, it wasn’t...at all.
When we first met May, she wasn’t just alone, she was broken and self-isolated from everyone that she cared about and who cared about her. After the events of Bahrain, she closed herself down and became a shell of herself while her guilt and self-loathing threatened to eat her alive. The May we see in the final 3 episodes is so incredibly far from that. When Daisy throws Bahrain in her face in s2, the self loathing is still very present and she still can barely speak on it, she still feels like a monster for what happened and she retreats away from the team (to a degree) and back into herself. This reaction is so different to when Kora throws Bahrain in her face in 7x11. May is at a point where she fully realizes she wasn’t the monster in that story, she did what she did to save the innocent, and that at her very core is who she is, a protector of the innocent and those who can't protect themselves. And like she tells Kora, she’s “made peace with it”. In the last scene with May, yes there is a sadness that the team isn’t all together, but she’s not broken, unhappy or even alone. She’s found a new calling teaching at an Academy named after Coulson which upholds his legacy. She’s jovial when Flint comes and she laughs and jokes. It's so far removed from s1 May. Before Bahrain, May wanted kids and even when she was trying to save Katya, you could tell that she cared about kids a lot, this echoes to her protectiveness over the bus kids, and also extends into the Framework where kids being in danger was the thing that kinda brought her back to herself, and then also Robin, who she becomes a mother to. This is where the best of May comes out, she’s a mentor and a protector and in her last scene we see her happily being that to Flint and other students. So it’s full circle, she’s physically away from the team but not holed up alone in a cubicle in pain. She’s healed over these past several years and found a new purpose for her life, and her Shield family and time with them gave her that and made that possible.
The same with Daisy. When we meet her she is truly alone, she’s grown up alone, has nobody, she’s living in a van, she doesn’t even know her real name or date of birth, she’s searching for her family and searching for an identity and purpose. Throughout the last 7 seasons she’s found all of that and more. In this ending, like May, she’s not with the team, but she’s not truly without it either. She’s still in Shield, still doing missions, still in contact with the team, she still has them. If something goes wrong, there isn’t a doubt in my mind that they will come running as they always have, but after several years of fighting Hydra, Inhumans, ghosts, demons, LMDs, aliens, Chronicoms, being stranded on alien planets or at the bottom of the sea, being thrown into the future and then into the past, being mutilated or killed and resurrected or not, they all deserve some reprieve. They also can’t live under each other forever and they all deserve to actually live their lives. At the beginning of the series Daisy was lost and she didn’t know who she was, by the end neither of those are true anymore. She’s found her calling, she’s found family, she’s found relatives, she’s even found love. And now It’s like she’s paying it forward. Someone found her and gave her love, home, family and solid ground and now she’s doing the same for others (namely Daniel and Kora). Everything really goes back to the conversation her and Mack had where he tells her that even if the team dynamic shifts, it's okay and she’ll be okay. In real families we don’t all stay under the same roof forever, we branch out, take jobs in other cities or countries and start families of our own, but it doesn’t negate our original family and I don't think this ending does either. It doesn’t mean found families hold less weight than blood families, because with family (the people you’ve chosen to love and have chosen to love you back, blood or not), even when you’re not around them 24/7, distance and time change nothing. Based on the group conversation, they clearly have been in contact and will continue to be, Jemma saying she’ll email Daisy later about something they had earlier discussed, Mack and Yoyo still being together even though they’re on mission in different places at the moment, May telling Mack she has some names of recruits to send him, Coulson telling Daisy to give him a call once she gets back to Earth etc. It's not that they’re not family anymore or that they’re only gonna contact or see each other once a year, their life choices just have them spread out and busy, but they’re still family. Jemma saying they need to do the group meeting annually doesn’t mean it has to only happen once a year, nor does it mean they won’t interact individually whenever they can, it just means that despite how busy life gets they need to make sure they as a whole group isolate some time to be together however they can. That is the most family thing ever. Throughout the year ppl are busy and you see each other but not everyone together at the same time, but then you have something like Thanksgiving or Christmas where everyone makes it their business to find themselves under the same roof for a day. It feels like the same concept applies here. It only feels sad right now because it's new, but after a while it will be normal. They’ve spent the better part of a decade living under the same roof and now they’re not even on the same planet all the time, it's a weird adjustment, but they will adjust.
As far as Philinda goes. Philinda has been my AoS OTP since season 1 and while I was kinda sad initially that they didn’t end together, I get it. Phil is dead and PhilLMD is just that, an LMD. A robot. He’s not real and as such, while still having Philinda scenes makes me happy, I don’t think I want May to have to settle for a robot no matter how advanced. It’s not fair. Especially with her being an empath now, every time she touches Phil it's a reminder that he’s not real. He can’t grow old with her or be truly intimate because everything about him is coded into him. She deserves the chance and the space to move on and find something real with someone real and him being around her all the time would prevent that because she loves Phil, even though he’s not really here anymore. Phil was ready to go in season 5 as he felt like he had already been given a second chance and didn’t want to be greedy, which is why he didn’t seek out the cure in space. LMD!Phil who works solely off of Phil’s memories and feelings is echoing the same sentiments by contemplating shutting down. It's not fair for May to let herself explore this any deeper (especially now being an empath as she feels things more deeply), only for him to decide to shut down leaving her again, and it's not fair for them to explore this and him to force himself to stay operative until she dies as to not hurt her again, even though his Phil coding is telling him it's time to go. I feel like once everyone is comfortably settled into their new lives and he knows they’re all truly okay, he’ll shut down for good, until then he’s just around in case they need him.
I don’t think I need to speak too much on Fitzsimmons or Mackelena. With everything Fitz and Simmons have endured over the last 7 seasons, retirement (not sure if Simmons is fully retired too) seems beyond reasonable. We’ve watched them lose each other or themselves in one way or another every season, and like everyone else on the team they kept coming back for more when it would’ve been easier to walk away and most probably would have. But they're not most people, they are a family and refused to abandon the team while it was in need. So this ending with their super cute kid is just very deserved and great to see. Mackelena. I love that they’re still agents. I was also initially surprised Mack was still an agent as he seemed like the most likely to leave a couple seasons ago. Maybe the Adventures of Mack and The D gave him a new outlook, realizing that there are so many out there who want to and will do good if given the space and opportunity to. I also love that Piper asked for a Davis LMD and that he and Piper can argue like old times. I thought that was kinda cute.
Overall, I feel like this moment was necessary. Change sucks, but it's necessary for growth. I also think the messaging is great and applies to the cast, the fans and just the world in general. Change isn’t bad, people come into our lives for seasons and they teach us, love us, heal us and sometimes leave us, but that’s not the end. There are new people and new adventures waiting, and the same way people come into your lives for a reason, we also are destined to go into other people's lives and be that person who teaches, loves and heals them the way someone did for us. It’s a cycle. And that's one of the ways the world moves forward and gets better. Good people bringing out the best in other people, who move on to bring out the best in other people, creating more and more good people. Philindaisy will always hold the most special place in my heart in this show. Phil found May in her cubicle and Daisy in her van, and the three of them saved each other in so many ways and gave each other everything they needed as well unconditional, unwavering love and support which helped them move beyond their past traumas to the point where they were mentally healthy and strong enough to not just have the family they formed with each other, but also form their own families outside of the original family unit and do the same for others. That in itself is beautiful. This is the end of this particular part of their journey, but in no way do I think it's the end of the family that they all formed over the last 7 years, because you don’t go through all they went through and then just feel nothing. They will forever be a part of each other and they will forever pull from the lessons, experiences and love they have for and gave each other. And that’s life, and also what I’m taking away from this show.
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gingus-doon · 4 years
Note
Mishima for the character ask!
thank u for asking about one of my faves 😭😭💕
what i like about him
- THERE'S SO MUCH TO LIKE! first of all, he's very caring and that's just so endearing!! stg he would adopt like at least half of the cast unofficially had they not been in a death game / simulation– and his eccentricity makes him so much more interesting, as well! he's such a down to earth guy who's very sociable and nice but he's also pretty weird sjdbsn. the way he stands, his appearance, the way he throws (apparently) to his weird laugh. then there's also that scene where keiji told him he made the air smell like oil paint (WHICH SOUNDED LIKE SOME KIND OF JOKEY INSULT NGL) and mishima is like SO PLEASED about it??? AND IN REKO'S FONDNESS EVENT (1st i think) WHERE SHE JUST BERATES HIM BUT THEN MISHIMA'S LIKE "ACTUALLY THIS MAKES ME WANT TO BEFRIEND YOU MORE" SKFKSDN
i also just love his humility!! it's so funny sometimes, like when nao gives him that godawful bathing suit aND HE JUST AGREES TO WEAR IT FOR THE SAKE OF HER FEELINGS?? his willingness to work with people, as well, like how he didn't suggest gin take his cape off and how he literally took the time to draw on some shoes just for the sake of alice's safety. and then in that same fondness event, HE PROCEEDS TO BE ASSERTIVE IN THE KINDEST POSSIBLE MANNER LMAO. not to mention the selflessness in his sacrifice for nao?? like he's just too good and considerate and odd, we have to stan
what i don't like about him
- OOF there's not much for me to say for this part tbh KDKSDN. ignoring no-smoking signs is pretty bad akdjsj. i could say hypocrisy, as mishima also judged alice by his appearance, but i find that a very human flaw so it makes me like him more actually haha.
perhaps one thing that i actually was Spooked by was the existence in tragedy ending of ytts. it's really jarring and a little disturbing to see mishima so caught up in this own survival that his allies drop from his mind entirely (even nao!) but i can't really fault him for that since it is, again, a very human trait and it gives him depth. it's just spooky to see the juxtaposition of him caring so much to not even having them in mind, esp if you get one of the other endings first.
favourite scene
- there are sooo many good ones, it's hard to choose, but one of the ones i always think of is that leaf fondness event with gin!! i love mishima's consideration for gin's feelings (as mentioned before) and really, it's just so stupid and wholesome. like you'd think he'd would be smarter than to go back and forth like that but nope, gin's the one who comes in with the common sense akhsjdnns.
favourite line
- off the top of my head (as all these answers have been ekfhs) I LOVE HOW HE RESPONDS TO KANNA'S INQUIRY WITH "I'm eternally young, so I wouldn't know." LIKE THAT'S LITERALLY THE SMOOTHEST QUESTION DODGE EVER. WHAT A G LMFAO
favourite outfit
- ik he doesn't change outfits in the game but what if his default outfit was a dress shirt and a suit sjfhsjdn. i can't imagine him in casual clothes help 😭 i also considered turtlenecks but actually i think that would be kai's thing
otp
- of course keishima 😔😔 i could just go on about how perfect they are for each other for hours lmao. keiji is also the only person i ship with mishima?? like kaishima is ok i guess but it just doesn't hit the serotonin like keishima 👊 shunshima is alright too but i think i'd prefer it platonically
brotp
- my bias towards the characters is absolutely being exposed because it's not nao, but instead shin and hinako– reko too!!
though it's less of a brotp and more of me thinking that mishima would be a father figure to them AKDHSDJFJ. for an actual brotp in terms of friendship rather than mentorship, i think kai and q-taro would be really good friends with mishima and would b more like peers than pupils to him sjfhdj
headcannon
- i just think it'd be neat if mishima was one of those kinds of teachers who had an array of colourful and playful ties with a wide variety of dress shirt colours :> also maybe fun socks
unpopular opinion
- i'm really not exactly sure! the popular opinion on mishima seems to be that he's awesome, which i agree with lolol. and i haven't seen any content for him which i disagree with in particular (i think) so i don't really have any opinions to go against lol.
if i had to say something, though, i guess it'd be that he's not perfect ? as evidenced by the smoking thing (kazumi mishima is now a morally grey character because he ignores no smoking signs lmao) and the existence in tragedy ending, and any other subtle lapses in a flawless image. though, i don't think mishima is trying to keep up a flawless image so much as a moral one around children! he seems okay to discuss or touch on his deeper feelings in conversation in order to connect with people, and i think that's very neat
and i don't blame people for perceiving him as flawless, i often also struggle to grasp at whatever his more serious character flaws would be! especially since i usually write him with keiji, and keiji is... The Most Flawed so mishima comes off as an even better person in comparison.
a wish
- i don't think i have any wishes for mishima's character in the main game? like i don't expect him to come back to life or anything ajdhksn. SO, my wish is that nankidai will double up on the fondness events so that we'll see mishima from other people's perspective!! LIKE I AM SERIOUSLY HOPING FOR THIS SO HARD I NEED TO SEE KEIJI AND MISHIMA INTERACT MORE (and other ppl as well SKRHJSNS)
an oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen
- i know this would like, definitely not happen because there's absolutely no good reason at ALL for this to happen, but it'd break my heart if there was a twist pulled like woaahhh mishima's actually a bad guy wjdhd. that goes against the whole message of "don't judge a book by its cover" that his character conveys 😭😭 honestly i probably wouldn't even think about evil mishima if it wasn't for that ai thing in chap 2. THAT WAS SO FUCKED UP, WHEN I REPLAYED YTTD AFTER PLAYING YTTS I WAS JUST LIKE "HOW DARE YOU DESECRATE THE MEMORY OF KAZUMI MISHIMA LIKE THAT YOU BASTARDS"
5 words to describe him
- funky uncle with misleading appearance !
my nickname for him
- i don't really have one haha. i just call him mishima– though sometimes i do like to use full names for the characters so i will just be out here typing "kazumi mishima" in its entirety sjdbns.
i have hc nicknames for what other people would call him though! other people being keiji JSFHS. "kazu" or "mishi"
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peachywander · 3 years
Note
All asks
Holy shit, this will be so much fun B-) *cracks knuckles*
Ask me: FANDOM EDITION
A - Your current OTP
Uhhh pff,,, skeleton dance I think?? I mean sure, skelley dance is always my current OTP, ngl. They're basically made for eachother, hell, even craig himself wore tshirts and stuff with wander hugging hater ifthisisn'tcannonthenidkwhatitis
B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind
To be honest,, wander x beza. I used to dislike every wander x girl ship bcs I see him as gae and nothing else. But I have a friend who does lots of art with them so I think it grew on me more and more with time?? Now I think they would look cute together, even if i'm still not super big on it.
C - A pairing you have never liked and probably never will
Wnder x domi. No comment, I despise it with all my heart 😂😂 Like I said earlier, I don't like most of wander x girl ships, and domi really hates wander. Sooo this ship simply doesn't make sense to me,, lmfao.
D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t
I think Twi x Flash from mlp. Yeah, I thought twi was cute when crushing on him in the 1st EG movie but they don't seem to have that chemistry I was hoping for. Plus I haven't seen any recent episodes of mlp in a long time, though I heard ppl say that he was mean to her once, if I remember well? Anyways, doesn't work so much for me.
E - Have you added anything stupid/cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what
Besides memes/ shitposts, not really. Check @gunxball if you want to see posts of mine back when I was into gumball 2 yrs ago (golly i miss those times)
F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom
Probably su (2016-2019) or kid vs kat (2011-2014)
G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it
Why yes, of course I do. cosmo x wanda from fop. They were so adorbs together esp in the first 2 seasons. Don't like how they got so flanderized with time, their dynamic was absolutely destroyed, and my day was ruined when I found out.
H - Do you prefer characters from real action series or anime series
I don't watch either lolol
But I think anime.
I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why
Dislike the fandom, not the show itself? Probably hzbin hotel. The show has a pretty neat concept and animation and it had such a big impact on my artstyle when I first watched it. But the fandom? Absolute hell. (pun intended)
From shipping wars, to pestering vivz, anything is possible. Glad I haven't actually interacted with that part of the fandom.
J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr
Not a show but among us. Back in september/october last year, my tl was FILLED with among us, up and down. Made me a lil tired of it but once I tried playing that game, I couldn't stop. Also the owlhouse, fell in love with the artstyle and story.
K - How do you feel about the other people in your current fandom
I don't have a current fandom. Not feeling in the mood + school + inactivity bcs of school. So I'll say abt my latest fandom, which was animaney. Well, people were really nice, and they seemed to enjoy the reboot. Nothing more to say tbh,,
L - Your favorite fanartist/author gives you one request, what do you ask for
Ummm I don't really like giving rqs to my fave artists, i don't wanna bother them haha
M - Your favorite fanart or fanartist
I don't know aaaa, prolly toonipi but she also draws ocs, not just fanart.
N - Your favorite fanfiction or fanauthor
Anything cute or sappy with skelleydance (NO nsfw)
O - Choose a song at random, which OTP does it remind you of
Lasers and feelings. Skellydance again. It matches sO well-
P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)
I used to have a skatepark AU ft. su chars but never put anything over here. I still have the sketches from 9th grade lmao.
Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why
To be completely honest, Amydot. Up until s3 they really gave me possible ship vibes. They interacted a lot, and peri discovered her metal powers thanks to amy. But after s3 they hardly ever interacted anymore (besides that one ep from s5 with the kindergarden). I was so dissapointed, but hey lapdot isn't so bad anyway, right?
R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships
Back in 2014 I would have said chred from angry birds, definitely. Not many really shipped them, and when I saw some fanart of them on dA everyone would say "ew, gae". Well, 2014 everyone. I was always like "so?? i like that ship, what's the problem??"
S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon
Uhmm, i headcanon darwin from tawog that he likes to yodel lol
T - If you mostly have homoships, do you have any heteroships
I think my ships are 50-50, but here are some examples:
Larsdie
Stevnnie
Blckeye
Fluttrcord
Beeckard
Starc0
Tanyamao
Foxodile
Pennball
Carwin
U - If you mostly have heteroships, do you have any homoships
Same as T. Another examples:
Skelleydance
Wnderingeye
Sylava
Lumty
Rupphre
Pearlmthyst
Badgrmao
Bubbline
Flutterdsh
Patbob
V - Are you one of those fans who can’t watch anything without shipping
Lol no. Tbh, i'm not super big on shipping either. I only slighty like/dislike any ship i listed earlier (with the exception of skelleydance, i'm too in love with that ship)
W - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms
wakko warner (animaney)
wander (woy)
fluttershy (mlp)
amethyst (su)
bubbles (ppg)
X - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms
skelleydance (woy)
lumty (toh)
stevnnie (su)
Y - A fandom you’re in but have no ships from
kid cosmic (or maybe I do ship papa g w/ chuck), animaney, okko, gravity flls
Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go
That one fan made episode from su called the smothering, it was so freaking amazing. It helped a lot in relieveing the pain of that big hiatus from 2017 (which was the biggest one, i literally turned into a skeleton waiting for new eps). Loved peri's needy personality, as well as lappy's playful one. It was so well written, like it could be perfectly fit as a role reversal episode in the main show.
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