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judebelle · 5 months

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ok but jude being the most annoying boyfriend EVERR ?? (in the most affectionate way ofc) like he's so bratty and sassy i cant

you have got to be shitting me - j.b. x reader

a/n : no but like why would he be such a little shit like??

cw : fluff and swearing, annoying jude, annoyed reader

pairing : jude bellingham x fem!reader

wc : 1.04k

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you were sat down on the couch, feet kicked up as you read your book. jude was sitting beside you with his attention fully on the large tv in front of you.

he was watching a show you had no idea about, and you were reading a book he couldn’t care less about.

it was perfect.

you turned the page, engrossed in the words and phrases printed on the thin paper. your legs were laid across jude’s lap and he kept his hand on your calf, his other shoving popcorn in his mouth.

the crunching was driving you mad, so you finally asked “could you pass me some popcorn, please?”

either he didn’t hear you or ignored you, because he did not even bat an eye.

“jude..”

again, nothing.

“jude!”

finally he turned his head to you, eyebrows furrowed.

“what?” his mouth was stuffed with popcorn which was fully on display as he chewed with an open mouth.

“i said, could you pass me some popcorn?”

he let out a small groan that was almost unnoticeable before reaching to his side, grabbing the bowl, and holding it towards you. he turned his head back to the tv and was once again absorbed in his show.

you took a handful of popcorn, chewing it softly. his arm was still outstretched with the bowl towards your face. taking advantage of this, you continued eating.

after half a minute or so, jude finally turned to you, watching you greedily eat his popcorn. without a word, he pulled it back towards him, giving you a stink eye.

“mine.” he spat out like a child before turning back to the tv.

you stared at him in disbelief. this man is something else.

you went back to reading your book, ignoring jude’s childish antics.

after some time, you heard a ding from the kitchen.

you had put some cookies in the oven as per jude’s request, and they were finally done.

of course you had to get up to go to the kitchen, but jude’s arms were now fully rested on your calves.

“jude, love.”

again, no answer.

“jude!” you were growing impatient with his selective hearing.

he turned to you with a quick roll of his eyes. “what now?”

you sighed at his attitude, “cookies.” you didn’t elaborate further, assuming he would understand you.

but he just kept staring at you blankly.

“the cookies.. in the oven!” finally your words registered, but he still had a confused look on his face.

“so what does that have to do with me..?” he questioned, genuinely confused as to why you were telling him this.

you let out a breath. “get off my legs. i need to go get the cookies before they burn.” jude’s idiocy had started to hurt your head.

after a final ohh, he raised his arms off your legs and you swung them off the couch. you looked at the table in front of you, searching for your bookmark.

it finally caught your eye on the floor near jude’s feet.

“jude, pass me that.”

for once, he heard you the first time. he looked at you before following your gaze to the floor. he spotted the bookmark and his shoulders hunched over grudgingly.

“ughh whyyy..” he whined before reaching down to grab the bookmark. it really wasn’t all that difficult. he tossed it on the couch and huffed before turning back to the tv.

you rolled your eyes and placed the bookmark between the pages. you stood up and headed to the kitchen, taking out the cookies from the oven. they weren’t anything special, just some pillsbury christmas cookies - but damn were they good.

you placed them onto a rack to cool for a minute or two before tidying up, the speakers blasting jude’s tv show.

at first it was bearable, but now it was just annoying.

“jude, turn that down please!” you called out from the kitchen. you peeked over to see if he heard you, and he did.

he rolled his eyes, which was expected, but boy were you shocked by his next actions.

“mi mi mi mi, turn that down please, meh meh meh.”

he was mocking you.

his face was screwed in an odd expression and he tilted his head side to side as he mimicked you, his voice going a few octaves higher.

“you have got to be shitting me..” you whispered to yourself, perplexed at this newfound sassiness.

you finally stepped to the side so that he could see you. your hand was on your hip and one of your eyebrows was raised.

“what was that, sorry?” there was sarcasm laced in your tone.

his widened eyes shot up to you. he reached over to the remote and turned down the volume.

“nothing..”

“mmhm.”

you stepped back in the kitchen and layed the cookies on a plate, bringing them to the living room and placing them down on the table in front of you.

“the inside is still kinda hot, so don’t-“

once again, ignored. jude reached over to the plate and grabbed a cookie. he quickly took a bite before huffing and letting the food from his mouth drop into his hand.

“oh my god- ahh! ouch!” he shouted out and grabbed a water from the table. he drank it, moaning in pain.

he finished the whole glass before placing it down onto the table. he was gasping and panting for air like he was dying.

“you could’ve warned me, y/n!”

your eyebrows shot up in disbelief.

“first of all, they weren’t that hot, and second, i did warn you!” you scolded as your hands raised defensively.

he huffed in annoyance before blowing softly on the broken cookie in his hand. he finally managed to eat it, chewing softly on the fresh food.

“mmm..” he moaned in satisfaction.

“it’s, mpgh, good, thanks.” he said with a full mouth, looking up to your face. you couldn’t help but let a smile break out. you didn’t even make these, really, but he was too cute not to adore.

“you like them? good.”

his eyes crinkled as he returned your smile, finally not showing you attitude. he patted over beside him before brushing off popcorn crumbs.

“come sit, baby”

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thebearer · 7 months

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lip gallagher with baby mia when one of the boys accidentally hurts her while they’re playing🥺

"How long you think they'll stay out there?" Lip rasped, hands smoothing down your waist, your hips.

"Hm," You sigh, leaning back against his chest, his chin hooking over your shoulder. "Probably not long enough." You grin.

Lip presses a kiss to your shoulder- inviting. "Think we could make it quick." Lip muttered, hips flush against yours. "Just bend over f'me, I'll be real quick-"

A screech, high pitched and urgent had you both stilling, every parental atom in your bodies halting and jumping with alarm. Lip looked out the window over the sink. Jude, Freddie, and Ronan all standing in a half circle over Amelia.

"Shit," Lip muttered, bounding out the back door towards the kids. "What happened? What's goin' on?" He demanded, looking at his boys with a stern glare.

Amelia sobbed, big tears that streamed down her cheeks, hands and knees skinned and bleeding. "What happened? C'mere, Mia." Lip cooed, picking up the four year old, holding her to his hip.

All three of his boys stared at him, unmoving, a little guilty. "Hey, I'm not askin' again." Lip snapped, firm and commanding. "What happened? How did your sister get hurt?"

You came down the steps, a wet cloth in hand, just in time to see Ronan start to crack. He was your baby, never very good at lying, especially to you.

"Oh, Mia, what happened? Are you ok?" You cooed, running a hand down her messy curls. "Roanie," You looked at your youngest softly. "What happened? Did she fall?"

"Yeah," Jude said before Ronan could answer. "She-She tripped."

"Ronan," You hummed. "Did your sister trip?"

Ronan fidgeted under the looks of you and Lip, unsure and nervous with his brother's beside him. You and Lip knew better, knew that one of them got too rough and pushed her.

"Jude pushed her." Freddie rolled his eyes. "Jude just own up to it. You're gonna get us all in trouble." He muttered.

"I didn't mean to!" Jude snarled, diving at his brother to smack him in a way that contradicted his opposition. "She wanted to play with us, and-and she got in the way!"

"Yeah? You're supposed to be careful." Lip tried to contain his irritation. Jude was a kid, they all were, only seven. "You're not 'sposed to lie to us either. What'd we say about that?"

"It's not fair!" Jude whined, shoulders dropping in a fit. "You make us play with Mia, and she doesn't even know how to! She cries all the time!"

"Hey," Lip snapped.

"Jude," You pressed a hand to Lip's arm soothingly. "You just have to be a little careful with her, ok? She's still little." Jude bristled with anger, lip jutting and face scrunching- he looked just like Lip. "And Mia, when the boys are playing, you need to get out of their way, ok?" You turn towards your youngest.

Lip glares at you, hugging Mia closer to his chest. You fight back an eye roll, he babied her so much- so soft now.

"Take her inside. I'll get the first aid in a sec." You mutter to Lip, nodding towards the door. "C'mere, Judie." You coo, pulling the sulking, young boy close.

"I know you don't like playing with your sister all the time, but thank you for including her." You whisper, your forehead against his. "She loves playing with you."

"I know." Jude sighs, breath a little shaky. "She just... She gets in the way, Mama."

"I know." You hum, hand stroking down his curls. "Just let me know next time, ok? You don't push people down."

"I didn't mean to." Jude whined. "She was in my way."

"Still," You countered. "You don't push. Tell her to move, and if she doesn't, come get me or Daddy, ok?" Jude nods, still a little pouty. "Ok, go play. You guys have about an hour then it's bath time." You announced, pressing a kiss to the top of Jude's head, before the three boys scattered back out to play.

Lip had Mia in his lap, rocking her soothingly while he tried to wipe away the dirt. He was so gentle, holding the cloth to her hands and pressing kisses to the palms. It made your heart burst.

"How's it look?" You ask, reaching under the sink for the First Aid- with four kids, it was always stocked.

"Just scraped." Lip muttered. "Think it just needs Neosporin and some bandaids."

"Does it hurt, baby?" You ask Mia, frowning lightly at her quivering little lip.

"Yeah." Amelia nodded, curling into Lip's lap. "I fell'd, and-and hurt my hands and my knees, Mama." She lisped, rubbing her wet eyes.

"I know. Daddy's been taking care of you, though, hasn't he?" You coo, pulling the Neosporin out. "Here, this will make you feel better, ok? Let Mama put it on."

"Burn?" Mia asked, pulling her hands back frantically before you could put the cream on. You'd had to use peroxide on a cut for her a few weeks ago and she'd screamed at the burn. Now she was terrified all medicine would burn.

"No, not burn. You won't feel this one at all." You hum, slathering her little scrapes in Neosporin. "You wanna pick out your bandaids?"

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bahrtofane · 2 months

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jude who can’t contain his excitement when you get to see him play in person for the first time

(he wanted to get you box seats and you refused. he’s still upset and moping)

he’s so nervous though, unable to stop worrying about just how good he’ll be. what if he sucks today ?

the one day you come to see him and he completely preforms like shit

not good. not good at all

he thinks he’s bitten off every inch of nail he has from both hands, wrung the sleeve of his jacket till it’s completely crumpled and one summer breeze away from incineration

he also is just a little worried for you. he knows you can handle your own just fine, but sue him for caring. soccer fans can get real rowdy, trust he knows

(if you would’ve taken the box seats…)

he face times you before he heads in to get ready, wide smile as you wave to him from your taxi

“i’m so excited!” you beam

his smile softens, “me too. i’ll be lookin for you in the crowd yeah?”

“just look for the bellingham jersey,” you tease

his eyes go wide, “you got my jersey?”

you look away now. shy, “of course i did. who else?”

“right right, “ he coughs,”be safe yeah?”

“will do. score a goal for me?”

“will do.” he repeats

it turns out spotting you isn’t that hard when he’s in there. and he does in fact score of goal, points right at you and your heart swells

everyone else may think nothing of it. but you don’t think you’ll ever stop thinking of it

and jude is just thankful he didn’t eat shit and fall on his face half the time. a win in a win

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judeisbae · 5 months

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Could you write about Jude and reader being parents and their daughter is about 6 years old and just their whole dynamic as a family like they’d always be joking around and your daughter definitely inherited her cheekiness from Jude.

Yes ofc this is so cute

Smut did win on the poll i posted for the genre of todays fic so I will have a smut posted by later. this request is just super cute so I wanted to write it too ❤️

Just us.

Summary: In a day with Jude, his wife, and their beautiful daughter. Genre: Fluff Warnings: some cursing

Waking up in the morning was the part of the day you by far enjoyed the most. The peace in the atmosphere, Jude sprawled across the bed with his arm thrown over your stomach, his loud snores preventing you from drifting back into your slumber, you didn't mind though, a push on your bedroom door drawing you out of your daydream. Your daughter, entering your room with a quiet "hi mommy" and a yawn, a smile drew onto your face at your daughters actions. With small steps, she made her way over to your side of the bed waiting for you to lift her up into the bed so she could burrow herself in the warmth of you and Jude, it was routine for her.

Lifting her, you place a light kiss on her temple, placing her in between you and Jude. "Daddy" she whispered repeatedly as she leaned down over his face, Jude, still deep in sleep, didn't budge, "try tapping him" you said to her in an attempt to help her wake her father. Placing two of her small hands on either side of his face she lowered her face down to his, widening her eyes, whispering a dragged out "daddy". You couldn't help but laugh at her antics. Though it seemed to be effective, as he began to smile with his eyes still half shut. "Morning princess" Jude said with a low laugh, "morning my love" he said reaching out an arm in your direction, and turning his head to face you. You held his hand and pressed a quick kiss to his knuckles.

"Mommy said you guys are gonna make me waffles for breakfast". your daughter said to Jude, "I did?" you asked with a confused expression, laughing simultaneously. "uh huh" your daughter mumbled with a nod of her head, Jude letting out a laugh knowing you most likely didn't say any such thing about waffles and that was just his daughter being sly. "go brush your teeth little girl" you said, sending her off. "Guess we gotta go make waffles huh babe?" Jude said turning to you with a smile. "I guess so"

After the two of you brush your teeth, you begin heading down the stairs together, surprised to find your daughter already downstairs playing with a toy kitchen set she had received as a birthday gift not too long ago. The two of you head into the kitchen and begin preparing the waffles you two had been tasked with making by a six year old. Throughout the process, you and Jude are giggling and sneaking kisses like two teenagers the morning after their first sleepover. When the waffles are finished, you call your daughter into the kitchen and tell her to take a seat at the counter, helping her onto the chair of course. As you all get settled and begin to eat your daughter accidentally drops a piece of the waffle you had cut into squares for her. "shit" she said under her breath, causing Jude to burst out into a fit of laughter, earning him a light slap on the back of his head. "its not funny Jude" you said giving him a glare from the corner of your eye. "Honey you can't say those words its not appropriate" you told your daughter, knowing exactly who she learned it from (Jude of course) "yeah ur moms right sweetheart" Jude said, still trying to refrain from going into another fit of laughter.

So sorry this is kinda short but I do have to get started on the smut for today and I have a busy day aside from that, I hope you enjoyed this thoo ❤️

#bellingham #fanfic #imagines #jb5 #jude #jude bellingham fic #jude bellingham smut #rma #jude bellingham #la liga #jude bellingham drabble #jude bellingham x you #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham x reader #football imagine #Jude Bellingham f #jude bellingham fluff #jude bellingham fanfic #fluff

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cultofdixon · 5 months

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Lost in your own mind

Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • We all have hard days and sometimes we need our partners to hold us just to make it a little less hard • ANGST/SFW • TW: Depression

Requested by: Anon

I…don’t quite know what’s happening.

The Saviors war ended…I should be happy, right?

Well…Abraham died…Glenn died, and Maggie has to raise her son alone…

Rick kept that monster alive…

Our family split into the communities…

We aren’t…all together anymore.

I don’t know what’s happening anymore

“Are you going home soon?” Carol asks Daryl as she comes to check on him after taking a month's watch for the Sanctuary.

“Just finished getting my shit together.” The archer states dropping his bag by his bike, noticing Carol’s concerned expression which bubbled his own. “What? What aren’t yea saying?”

“Y/N missed a few trading days. Michonne went in her place and wouldn’t really…tell me what’s happening”

I knew it was a mistake to go. I just—-“Is she—-“

“No! No, thankfully. That’s the only thing Michonne would update me on. She doesn’t know why Y/N hasn’t left the basement you two call home. Rick would send food down with Judith so she couldn’t say no to it. I think she’s depressed”

“Could that have been because I left to do this?”

“Hey, there’s no need to blame something or someone. Sometimes people fall into a depressive episode without a reason…” Carol leaned against the loading dock crossing her arms and avoiding his eye contact for a moment. “It could be because we were in survival mode during the war that we couldn’t feel anything else”

Daryl nods to her words taking it in and realizing that explains a lot of the feelings almost everyone affected by the war has been having.

“I…You sure it ain’t cuz—-“

“Daryl, if you’re talking about the moment…the exact moment after the war just ended? You know she understands why you pushed her away but that was months ago. Not everyone is going to feel everything that happened to them because of Negan and the Saviors right when the war is over”

Hell, you’re still going through it

You’re still back there.

Daryl rode his bike throughout the night have escorting Carol back to the Kingdom to make sure she got home safe before going back home to Alexandria. He knew his mind was racing on the endless possibilities of Y/N could be doing while in this episode but all she did was not leave their home beneath the Grimes residence.

The archer was greeted by a few friends as he entered the community, and was informed that Rick and Michonne weren’t in (Jude being watched by Aaron). So he’ll be alone with his partner until the Grimes return.

To his surprise, Y/N was in the main kitchen when he opened the door entering the quiet home. She kept her attention in front of her at the jammed bread she just had prior to Daryl coming home.

“Hey” His voice was softer than normal in case he startled her but she only acknowledge his presence a short moment after he spoke. A bit unphased.

“Hey…did you just get back?”

“Yeah, uhm. The watch is over so…” Daryl brought himself to sit at the kitchen island as Y/N picked up her plate and knife bringing it with her to sit with him. “Carol came by before I drove back. You feeling okay?”

“Uhm…No” Even in the state of mind she was in, she wouldn’t lie to Daryl. Not only would he be one of the few to see right through the lie, but she didn’t have the energy to keep it going if she did. “You hungry? I…made it but I’m not really feeling it anymore”

As the plate was pushed in his direction, Daryl took the knife she had cutting it in half and giving her the other while he ate his.

“Yea made it for yourself. I’ll share it but least have some of it” After he said such, Y/N picked at it at first before deciding to finally eat it.

They sat in silence for a bit and Daryl relaxed when Y/N brought her head to rest on his shoulder but her body tensed. As if she was afraid to do such, like…he’d disappear again. He brought his arm around her shoulders feeling the tension in her shoulder finally relax.

“Let’s turn in, yeah?”

“It’s not too early?”

“Nah, come on” Daryl gave a small smile before getting out of the seat taking her hand into his making their way to the basement.

It wasn’t a basement exactly, just a living quarters underneath the main house.

It was…well exactly how he left it. Looked as if he just moved in and nothing was made for it to look like their home so it brought back the moment.

“Daryl?” Y/N calls out to him as he walked away from the scene of Maggie falling to the earth sobbing while Michonne comforted her even if she sided with her husband.

“Daryl!” She called out following him into the forest watching him stop abruptly making her freeze in her place.

“Do you agree with what he’s done? With Rick’s stupid decision to keep that bastard alive”

“Is this a loaded question for me or a simple…” She quieted herself when Daryl turned toward her with an annoyed expression. He didn’t mean to. “No I don’t agree with what Rick has done”

“Will you hate me for mine?”

“What?”

“I…just need a moment alone. I don’t want you to think that I don’t need you or nothin’. Before this whole fight we were gonna…settle? Be us. Then I got taken. You got attacked. Our home got set ablaze. It’s a lot and…”

“Daryl…just. If I come to you, don’t push me away. I’ll give you what you want but I…”

“If you call, I’ll be there.”

Y/N knew that were true but she got stuck in her own mind from all that happened that she didn’t want to flood what could be going on in Daryl’s. Even if in this very moment, Daryl wanted to know everything going on. Just a word would do.

His partner got into the bed while he got out of the clothes from the day. Y/N already wore sweats as she’s been dressing more comfortably the past month since she hasn’t left the walls. He glances at her through the mirror on their shared dresser seeing her sit comfortable by the pillows but keep a blank gaze.

Once the archer got his boots off, he got comfortable in the bed beside Y/N and before she laid down he opened his arm for her.

“Come here, sunshine” He whispers watching her lay into his side feeling his hand gently rub soothing motions on her back. “I’m not going anywhere” he states pressing a kiss to the top of her head as she shifts to bring herself more into his embrace. “Everything’s okay. You are okay” he whispers to her feeling her tighten her grasp on him.

“Nothings…wrong” Y/N exhales a shaky breath feeling him hold her closer. “I’m fine you know…”

“I do” Daryl replies keeping his hand rubbing circles on her back feeling her head turn into his chest. “You are fine, you are going to be fine”

It happened slowly…the tears that sprung from her eyes as she cried into her partner’s chest feeling him tighten around her in a protective manner pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“I’m never leaving you again”

#cultofdixon #the walking dead #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon fanfiction

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blueaetherr · 10 months

Text

half-life

pairing: jude bellingham x fem!reader [she/her]

warning(s): angst, gotg3 reference (?)

summary: the one where we witness jude and y/n's love for one another falter over time and its aftermath

now reading: the sun is also a star by nicola yoon

in love, [half-life] is the time it takes for lovers to feel half of what they once did

Somewhere in the flower field, a setting graceful and niche in presentation, a space that ran for miles and miles with shades and styles in every foot and inch—somewhere in all of that, there was Jude and Y/N.

They were simply lost in the mass of everything, of all there was around them. Lost in their shared thoughts and reality, lost in the company one was able to give the other. 'Cause even though they were surrounded by such vibrant colours, wildflowers galore and nature itself, they instead chose to focus their sight on each other.

"For you," Jude said after he had crafted a flower crown as he held it out to his partner.

Tilting her head, her lips welcomed a grateful smile. Y/N took the delicate creation with care and support. Y/N observed it as she spun it between her fingers. "Thank you, but you didn't have to."

"I didn't but I wanted to." His words were spoken as if his intentions had been so evident.

"Alright, alright," she let out a breezy laugh, matching the evening winds. Soft and mild. Considering Jude's love languages were a mixture of giving gifts and acts of service, she shouldn't have been surprised. Suddenly, she frowned. "I didn't make anything for you though."

His eyes wandered their greenery surroundings before suggesting, "Pick something from the grass at random for me."

"Okay, let's see..." Inhaling a small breath Y/N reached her hand into the grass and when her hand came up, there was a four-leaf clover in her grasp. Her mouth fell open as a few laughs escaped. "Shit then. My gift to you: good luck."

"I mean this is amazing," Jude chuckled as he accepted the clover. Then he shrugged, "But I think good luck has already come my way." It was only uncomplicated words he spoke yet it had Y/N flustered and shying away from her partner's gaze all while grinning wide—happy, and that in itself by default made him happy too.

12 months into the relationship and this was the couple at their peak.

The two, and the relationship itself, were one's favourite love song, the living proof of true and ideal love and stood tall and proud with the foundation of love at first sight. They were feared by heartbreak, refreshing love cliches and in essence simply beautiful and inspiring and wonderful. That was Jude and Y/N.

Taking adoring pictures, pronouncing corny yet adoring words to one another, sharing their looks of affection when the other wasn't aware—this was them at their personal best and from there, they could only falter and fumble after that.

They were 18 months in when the cracks in the relationship began to appear in their eyes. In the privacy of their home, between their family and friends, in their messages. It was slow and steady yet they were for sure drifting, and drifting, drifting away from one another. It was subtle at first, like when their schedules began to not match up so they couldn't see one another that much, or getting in and out of bed at different times so they spent less time together.

But they were okay with that; it was an irregularity they were bound to face in their relationship. And there were a plethora of ways to manoeuvre around their problems, like talking on the phone or messaging when space was between them or when they weren't in arms' reach of one another.

But then the messages calmed down and calls were being missed, going to voicemail until they were eventually declined by the receiver. The explicit messages were the first ones to go, and they continued to fall flat until only essential calls were left between Jude and Y/N. And even when the two individuals were in arms reach of each other, when they were under the same roof at the same time, when they could share close and personal dialogue—they chose not to.

And like the calls and the messages, their conversations let up over time. Everything began to diminish in quality and quantity: conversations, bedroom interactions, movie nights, inside jokes, shared dinners and breakfasts in bed. They never noticed, they never had the chance to really, but they unknowingly slipped below the status of both a couple and roommates all at once so quickly.

They were 21 months in when the cracks grew more and more prominent and public. Y/N attended fewer games while Jude attended fewer work parties. Fewer dedication posts, fewer sighted outings together. The pair—as individuals—began to barely speak about one another to their families and friends, uncertain and wandering speech whenever they would.

And because it became so public, because Jude and Y/N used to be so public and open and suddenly now were significantly nothing, everyone noticed; the change was visibly discernable. There was concern, honest worry for the two. Though always would the two shrug it all off and reassure everyone by saying all would be good in the end, not knowing what the end actually entailed for them in future months.

'Cause Jude and Y/N just kept escalating, faltering, and stumbling away from one another as the months passed. 1 month, 14 days, 7 days, 3 days, 1 day until they amounted to absolutely nothing. It had been an internal battle. They felt what they could—that adoration, desire, attraction, affection—they loved what they could until they couldn't anymore.

They spiralled, completely spiralled until they were nothing, and there was nothing they could have done to stop it. Without noticing they simplified devastation in their relationship. They were the earth after a monumental asteroid, knocked off their axis and forced into oblivion.

"We're a bit tragic, aren't we?"

It had been quiet for a while. Not only between the two but also in the coffee shop they were settled in, seeing as closing time was near and hardly any customers but themselves were present. Still, they welcomed it almost as if the two had forgotten how to speak (and maybe they did). So her voice came to him as a surprise when she narrowed the silence between them.

Jude came out of a short daze and dialled his attention back on the person sitting across from him. He tuned back into Y/N—his now ex-partner—who was stirring her coffee order waiting for his response.

"Tragic?" He exhaled and leaned back in his place and tilted his head. Not only because he had to think about it. They were having one of those conversations again. The ones that were beyond depressing and sad to entertain. "A strong word that, but yeah... We're a bit tragic."

He looked away as his chest fell. There was a sad smile on his lips when he finished speaking. Y/N shared how he felt, nodding with pursued lips because it was overwhelmingly true.

After they broke up some months ago they chose to remain friends, civil and familiar. They were able to be friends with no problem or hassle. Still, that didn't cancel out the fact that they were indeed tragic as one.

A quick glance at their relationship revealed the hardships Jude and Y/N experienced together. They were forced to break apart so prematurely and there was little to no one to relate to. What they had initially felt for one another hadn't been able to withstand the demands of fate and the universe. While they tried and tried and tried countless times, they couldn't exactly recall the reasons why they fell for one another some years ago.

For those reasons and many more, they were tragic.

"I don't know if it's just me," Y/N started as she placed her spoon down, "but I always try to pinpoint where it kinda went all wrong but I'm always lost about it."

"I just try not to think about it, to be honest," Jude sighed, drained and hopeless.

By now he had accepted that he and Y/N as a couple had been a lost cause. The distance between them who they had been and who they were now was too wide to bridge. Just like Y/N couldn't pinpoint where everything had gone wrong between them, he had been doing the same before their break-up, when they had started to slowly unravel. Months have passed—years—and still was Jude uncertain as to how they fell apart so he just left the subject alone for his sanity.

He didn't acknowledge it that much but according to others around him, the weight of the break up fell on Jude's shoulders more than it did Y/N. He was the one who opened up the possibility of a relationship; he was the one who had pursued Y/N, had asked her out and eventually asked her to be his girlfriend. Being the more emotional half, the more vulnerable one had others feeling like Y/N was the first one to fall out of love.

Jude could've reacted when he had first heard that judgement though chose not to. One, their relationship was over so what good would an answer actually do for them? Two, just like his past lover, he too fell out of love with Y/N. Why antagonise her for something she couldn't control, an action he too was guilty of committing?

He cleared his throat as he lifted his eyes away from the table. "But I do try to at least imagine what we were like." Imagine, not remember. If he tried to remember he would fail. To imagine came with no defeat and all creativity; he could wish upon all he wanted and leave out all the bad of their previous relationship.

Her eyes brightened as they widened, interest prevailing in her voice. "Oh, really?" It wasn't rare to have positive talk between them. Not everything they spoke about was sad and depressing. What was rare was positive talk regarding their past together.

"Yeah. Not all the time, though," Jude sat up straighter in his place, rubbing under his nose. "Just when I want to wonder a bit. I don't talk about it with anyone anymore—I haven't for a while really—but I spoke about us with my mum the other day, like last week or whatever. I asked about it 'cause I naturally get curious and she told me some stuff."

She carefully gripped her hands around her mug, despite her coffee having gone cold by now. "And what did she say?" Y/N asked in a soft tone.

"She said... she said a lot. She said after I first asked you out on our first date and you said yes, I was so excited and obsessed with you—in a good way obviously. I asked her about when I first told you I loved you and she mentioned I was so happy and excited and kinda just in love that she was scared that I was going to go too fast, like propose or something." The corner of his lips curved up as they shared a small laugh together. Despite their distance, they were able to reminisce on something they no longer held feelings for.

"We spoke a lot about how I was with you and everything and after all that I asked about you, how you were to me... and she didn't have to say much because and I quote, the same way you felt about her was the same way Y/N felt about you, Jude."

Soon, Y/N became animated as she offered Jude a teasing look. "So what I'm hearing is that we were soulmates?" Even if it was a question in literal terms, it almost came out as a statement. Y/N wanted to believe they were soulmates beyond their losses.

"I think we were so much more than just soulmates," Jude suggested. From a shy smile it grew into something wide, happiness reaching his eyes perfectly. "Soulmates, best friends, in-between people for others. And I want to believe we were fun and cool and real."

Even though Jude and Y/N couldn't remember what or how they felt for one another once upon a time, they still had a clear chain of events of their relationship, and still had an understanding of their favourite activities and hobbies together. From that they could come to their conclusions.

"We still are." Not that she wanted to believe that but rather Y/N knew that was the reality. Beyond their depressing and sad conversations every few weeks, they would have fun and cool and real times.

They still enjoyed listening to music together. They still played video games together. They still found comfort and rest in having conversation with two coffee orders with the dessert special of the day at their favourite coffee place, always sitting at their designated table—with Jude facing the entrance—that even some of the staff members recognised to be theirs. All those activities and events happened all time post-relationship, just without those lingering feelings.

He hummed in agreement. "We still are," Jude said, satisfied and happy. He was satisfied and happy knowing that this wasn't just a sad and depressing conversation they were having; they were also able to share some happiness and understanding during their routine meet-up.

Jude and Y/N shared some easy conversations, exchanged songs and music tastes, discussed their favourite people, hot gossip and personal life with no fear of judgement seeing as they were given the time and space alone together in the final open hours of their favourite coffee shop.

It was a wake every time they would meet up; they would pay their respects to their dead relationship, reminisce about it if the collective mood was moderately neutral, comfort and support one another where needed, reflect on the relationship and life in general, shed tears or laugh then say goodbye when it was all said and done.

But there was also a celebration aspect to it. After everything, after the universe and fate had screwed them over with false hope of a flourishing relationship, after losing the ability to feel for one another romantically, Jude and Y/N were still friends. Not too distant or best friends but friends. They were friendly and comfortable and civil to one another, and that was okay with them; that was all they needed to move on together and separately.

Maybe they were right after all. The love was still there, unconditional just within reason. Whether together or not, Jude and Y/N were soulmates and would always be.

part 2

#jude bellingham #jude belingham imagines #jude bellingham blurb #jude bellingham oneshots #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham x black!reader #black!reader #football imagines #football fanfiction #football fanfic #football oneshots

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aechii · 5 months

Note

Idk if this like sounds weird but can you write a fic where musician!Jude and model!reader broke up and Jude is mad petty about it and writes a song about her, and everyone knows it’s about her cause he’s not hiding it?😭🏃🏾‍♀️

₍⁠₍ BLUE ₎⁠₎

A/N ?! dearest anon, this is not weird at all!! i'm actually excited for this since it's different to what i usually get requested for. i changed it up a bit, so instead of a song, it's a whole album... but enjoy my luvss xx

judebellingham

liked by jobebellingham, gioreyna and 2,990,238 others

judebellingham 'BLUE' out now x

jobebellingham proud of you 🙏❤ liked by judebellingham

judebellingham ❤

user1 OMG!!!!!!!!??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!

user2 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

user3 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA X2877813819

user4 TOOK SOME DAMN TIME.

gioreyna only took like.... 6 months. what if i died?

user5 gio 😭 judebellingham but you're still here, pissing me off. say ty gioreyna thanks 🙄

user6 new music after a half year. pigs must be falling from the sky

user7 i'm looking at the songs and........... uh........... is this what i think it is???? 😃

user8 OH! user9 it's the 5th song for me. i am SO READY (i am not) user10 the first album we get after allllllll this time 😭

alexanderarnold66 💪❤ liked by judebellingham

user11 ohhhh he is shady for this. soooooooo shady

user12 this is jude............. what else are we expecting

user13 guys! what if we're just jumping to conclusions!

user14 bffr girl..... look at the tracklist-

user15 TO SEE THE STATE OF TWITTER AFTER A FEW HOURS WILL BE A DREAM

user16 REAL user17 i've already seen people talking about one song called 'ifhy'... y/n what did u do to my bby 😭 user15 @/user17 UH OH 😯

user15 LOSING MY SHIT, THIS IS GONNA BE AOTY

user16 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

y/n_l/n posted on their close friends' story.

caption: no coz why does this album hit so much, and it's dragging MY ass?? 😭

~ replies ~

your_bff i will have to agree with you on that one 😭

y/n_l/n he had no right tbh

your_bff he has ALL rights

y/n_l/n fairs 😞

y/n_l/n

liked by your_bff and 1,899,230 others

y/n_l/n 2:28

~ comments ~

your_bff i give up with you 😭

y/n_l/n i truly apologise

your_bff anyways 😭 gorgeous 😭 girl 😭

y/n_l/n ty babe xx 😭😭😭

user1 so cryptic, yet so OBVIOUS

user2 oh she definitely texted jude as soon as he released blue

user1 SHE DID 100000000000%

user3 she is feeling it fr 😭

user4 i'm so sure she's streaming blue like her life depends on it

y/n_l/n caught lol user4 NSLDNLAKFA user5 not an ounce of shame 💀 user6 may i not get the lack of self control y/n has, amen 🙏 user7 at least she has good taste your_bff I GIVE UP.

user8 if me being delulu is correct, and the caption is about the first song on the album, 'azure', at 2:28..............................

user9 NUH UH user10 at this point, she's all the coloured flags but green, confusing as hell 😭

#work de aechii 🫧#jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham imagines #jude bellingham angst #jude bellingham x you #jude bellingham romance #jude bellingham #jude bellingham headcanons #jude bellingham fanfic #borussia dortmund #football imagines #footballer x reader #footballer x you

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judeswhore · 2 years

Text

home is where the heart is; jude bellingham

summary: in which you and jude spend the first night in your new flat on a blow up mattress with pizza and horror films

requested: yes

notes: first jude fic in forever this is so real of me

"y'know, we probably should've bought proper furniture before we moved in." jude's voice dragged your attention from where you were laying the duvet down over the blow up mattress, pillows already settled at one end. he was hovering in the kitchen of the open plan flat, pouring coke into two plastic cups, your ordered box of pizza set beside him on the counter. "and like, actual cutlery and shit."

"i don't know, i think this set up is pretty cozy." you shrugged, sent him a half smile when he met your gaze and padded across the floor to grab the pizza box. jude watched you with his own adoring smile, one that made the corners of his eyes crinkle just slightly and sent a flood of warmth through your chest. he tilted his head almost curiously, screwed the cap back on the coke and made to follow you back towards the blow up mattress.

buying a flat with jude was something the two of you had talked about for a while now. what had started off as passing comments about how nice it would be to have your own space, to not be interrupted by people constantly, had turned into full blown planning. you'd looked for places together in the early hours of the morning, cuddled up beneath his sheets, pointing out which ones looked the nicest and after a few months of deliberating you finally found the perfect flat. you were still young and more than a little eager and so as soon as you'd been handed the keys you'd made the decision to move in, lack of furniture be damned.

the flat was already decorated, plain and simple but you had no issues with doing it up to your own taste but unfortunately for you it didn't come fully kitted out which meant you probably should have spent the next week or so at jude's old house until you bought everything you needed. but no, this place was yours and bed or not, you wanted to be in it. your afternoon had been spent buying an air mattress and a few paper plates and cups, plastic knives and forks, dragging bags of clothes and necessities from your car up to the flat. it was bare and a little cold but it was yours, and ridiculous as it was, you didn't care how long it took to furnish it as long as you did it together.

"so you're telling me you'd be happy to spend the rest of your life sleeping on an air bed with a laptop for a tv and nothing else?" jude set the two cups down on the floor, just slightly away from the mattress to avoid knocking them over and reached for the pizza box. you let him take it, flopped yourself down on one side of the bed as he lowered himself next to you, pizza box dropping into the centre of the duvet.

"it's not so bad." you sent him a teasing look. "you're here." he hummed softly, lips tilting into a matching grin and let his hand reach for your face, fingers tilting your chin upwards. his lips met yours, soft and light, a gentle brush that sent sparks through all of your nerves and made your head spin.

"you're a flirt." pressing one last, fleeting kiss to the corner of your mouth he pulled back, turned his attention to your opened laptop, netflix blinking from the screen. "what we watching? and if you say she's the man again i'm leaving and sleeping in the car."

"i don't know why you pretend to hate it so much, i've caught you grinning at the kissing booth scene." you reached for the laptop and set it on your knee, finger running along the mouse pad as you began to scroll through endless movies and shows. jude shuffled closer to you, pressed his body against yours, his hand propping himself up just behind you, his chin hooking over your shoulder.

"you're a liar."

"so are you. you think i can't see the stuff you watch when you're away. clueless? really?" jude huffed, pushed his face into your neck to hide his smile because you'd totally caught him out. his lips were soft over your skin when he spoke.

"in my defence, i'm a huge paul rudd fan." you only hummed, skin heating up when he turned to pressing kisses over your shoulder, fingers tugging the sleeve of your (his) shirt to give him more space to work with. his kisses were soft and adoring, quiet reminders that he loved you and they caused a riot of flutters in your tummy. he was still watching over your shoulder, gaze trailing over movie options.

he pointed at the screen suddenly. "why don't we watch a horror?"

"are you serious?"

"what? it's nearly halloween and they're better than your sappy romance ones."

"it's so not nearly halloween."

"hush, yes it is. gimme it here, i wanna choose." rolling your eyes you let him take the laptop, hid your smile when he kissed your cheek before shifting away slightly. you reached for the pizza box, pulled a slice free and brought it up to take a bite, holding it in front of jude’s lips only a second later. his eyes didn’t leave the screen as he bit into it but he mumbled a garbled “thanks”, head nodding at the screen.

“what about the purge?”

“if we’re gonna watch a horror you have to at least make it scary.”

“oh that’s how you want it? fine.” he finally glanced at you, or rather the pizza, and his eyebrows bent together. “still think we should have got pineapple.” you glared at him, pulled your slice back when he made to take another bite.

“i don’t like pineapple on pizza.”

“you’ve never even tried it.”

“so? i still know i don’t like it.”

“ridiculous.” he wrapped his fingers light around your wrist to tug your hand towards his face and took an unnecessarily large bite from the pizza, his eyes teasing when you pushed at his arm. “demons or murder?” you only shrugged, settling your head against his shoulder to see the screen a little better, curious what your options were.

“both.” his hum tickled the top of your head and for the next few minutes you were silent, jude searching for a good film while you shared your slices of pizza. your head and heart felt fuzzy when he took the last part of the crust into his hand and kissed the pads of your fingers and you didn’t have to look at him to know he was grinning. three slices in, he had settled on a film.

“you seen sinister?”

“no, i don’t think so.” you peered at the screen, pushing the pizza box on to the floor as you shrugged your shoulders. “looks good.”

“you won’t cry if it’s too scary, will you?”

“shut up, bellingham.” the kitchen light was still on, a little too bright considering there was a soft glow from the bathroom light and you flashed jude a sickly sweet smile. “can you turn that off?”

“can’t do it yourself?” despite his words he was already lifting off the mattress, sock clad feed sliding over the floor and it took all your willpower to keep your eyes on his face and not his bare chest. his joggers were low on his hips and one glance would have you stumbling over your words.

“don’t wanna.”

“scared the bogeyman’s gonna get you from in the cupboards?”

“have i ever told you how annoying you are?”

“he might grab your ankle when you go to the toilet.” he waggled his eyebrows, flicked off the light and made his way back over. you could only glare at him, lips turned into a slight pout because you knew he was trying to scare you and you also knew there would be no way you’d go to the bathroom on your own after watching the film. “maybe he’ll sneak out from under the sink.”

“jude.” your tone was whiney and it only made him laugh, his body bouncing lightly beside yours when he got back to the bed. you’d already pulled the duvet over yourself and settled back on one of the pillows and jude shuffled himself beside you, propped himself up on his elbow and tickled his other hand over your side.

“least nothing can hide under the bed.”

“i hate you.”

“awe baby, c’mon, y’know i’ll save you.” still grinning, he leant down and bumped his nose over yours, kissed the tip of it. “you’re too pretty to die.” your eye roll and shove to his chest brought out an unexpected laugh from him, one that sounded more like a snort and he rubbed his nose against your cheek, splattered kisses over your face. “m’sorry, if you give me a kiss i’ll shut up.”

“you don’t know how to do that.” jude looked at you through his lashes, rubbed a soothing thumb over your ribs, a back and forth motion that made goosebumps scatter over your skin. he stared at you until you huffed a soft laugh, one that tickled his cheek and then your arms were hooking around his neck, one hand flat against his head to pull him down, lips pressing warm over his. he made a soft noise of happiness, a content hum and tilted into you, lowered his elbow so he could brush his thumb over your cheek, trace the curve of your jaw.

you weren’t sure how long you laid there, jude’s fingers soft over your skin, his lips and tongue and teeth teasing and loving all at once but you were breathless and a little lightheaded when you finally managed to pull away from each other. your lips tingled and he brushed his thumb over the bottom one, swiped away the remnants of his kisses.

“the movie.”

“trying to distract me so you don’t have to watch it?”

“y’know, i’m kinda getting the feeling you don’t wanna watch it.”

“i suggested it.”

“can always un-suggest it. we haven’t watched bridget jones’ baby in forever.” jude only rolled his eyes and pushed back up on his elbow, nudged your side lightly.

“shut up and turn around.” your giggle had him fighting a smile as you did as he said, pulling the laptop closer and rolling on to your side. he was quick in settling behind you, chest flush against your back, his foot finding it’s way between yours, hands tugging the duvet up to your shoulders. he was warm and firm, comforting and familiar and you couldn’t stop yourself from nestling back into him, pulling his arm around your body.

“promise you’re not gonna chicken out on me.” you could feel the movement of his chin against the top of your head when he spoke, his breath fanning over your hair. instead of answering you pressed play, threaded your fingers through his and held his hand against your chest. he was quiet for a few minutes, scenes rolling over the screen, scenes that had both of your grimacing, jude’s nose pushing into the back of your head. a huff suddenly tore from him, made you jolt in his hold and then his hand left yours and reached for the laptop, fingers tapping over it.

“okay, no, i’m un-suggesting, this is awful. paul rudd or channing tatum?”

#jude bellingham #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham one shot #jude bellingham fluff #jude bellingham fic #jude bellingham blurb

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qxldnya · 1 year

Text

Enemies to lovers

Part 1 Part 2

Jude Bellingham x baller!reader

(ongoing series)

Wc: 800

Warnings: swearing, insults

A/n: thank you for the love since the first part this one will have a lot more jude in it though;)

"What?"

Is the only conceivable answer you're finally able to squeak out, hands beginning tp tremble at your sides.

"I- People are saying what?"

Oh no no no no....

Someone. Had fucking heard you. But how????

Jude's eyes flash annoyed, shoulders stiffening.

"People," he grits out from between his clenched teeth, like you're too stupid to properly comprehend what he's saying.

And to be fair, maybe you are.

"are saying that we are dating. And I sure as fuck didn't go around saying bullshit like that."

You can't help but cower against the wall under his scrutinizing gaze, wishing that someone, anyone, would come by and help you out of this shitty situation.

This shitty situation that you might've somehow made for yourself, yes, but dammit, you deserve to be rescued from someone like Jude.

"I-"

"Don't play dumb, cause apparently Rice heard you saying some shit like that. And now it's spreading like fucking wildfire across camp."

He leans in even closer. The close proximity has you flushing despite the tense atmosphere, and you blanch, fumbling with your gym bag as it nearly slips from your grasp. Him being all up in your personal space is seriously messing with your concentration.

"Rice?" You finally stutter, like the oblivious idiot you are. "Like, Declan Rice?"

"Who else, dipshit?"

A thousand thoughts are racing through your mind because holy shit, out of all your teamates, Rice would've been one of the last people you'd ever want to overhear that particular conversation. The main reason being that anything gossipy that anyone tells him or anything he happens to bear apparently - will be broadcasted to the entirety of the team in a matter of hours.

So if he was the one to overhear your stupid blunder of words... It's no wonder you're fucked right now. But you'd checked the room, you're positive you did, and he wasn't there. So how...? And then it hits you, like a brick in the face. You forgot to look behind you. Like an actual idiot, too hurried to properly survey your surroundings.

"No," you laugh nervously, trying to wave him off in earnest and hoping that your internal panic doesn't manifest itself onto your face.

"no that can't be true. He probably... overheard something stupid I said and, y'know, just took off running with it."

Forcing another laugh, you trail off when you realize your words have had zero effect on him. In fact, he looks even more pissed off now, which you weren't aware was even possible at this point.

"So you said something?" A sharp question, and you realize your mistake far too late. Implying that Declan could've overheard something is only bound to incriminate you further.

You should've just denied it all from the beginning. "I definitely didn't!"

Comes the feeble protest from your lips. You both are aware that it's a truly pathetic attempt to dissuade him.

"Bullshit," he snarls, and you realize you've dug yourself into an even deeper trench. "I know Declan. He's a fucking gossip, but not a liar."

Trying to backtrack, because now he's thinking you're insulting his friend, you search for another escape route from this conversation. Anything at all to end it, so you can go and put yourself six feet under the second you get back to your room.

"No! No, I'm not saying he's a liar, I just-"

"You just! what?." He's even closer now, jaw locked in. Positive that if you press any farther into the wall, you'll fuse with it, you instead try to dodge to the side again. He doesn't let you, shifting his weight to the side, and you're unable to fight back the blush that spreads across your cheeks when you realize his lips are only inches from yours.

The day you kiss Jude is the day the world splits in half and rains fire and lava across every nation on the Earth.

Today is not about to be that day.

"Jude, training's is going to start-" He positions himself to block your way again, forearm completely pressed against the wall next to your head.

"You don't get to fucking run away right now, alright? So tell me what the fuck is going on."

"Nothing!"

"Then the rumors?"

"I don't know-!"

"No, I want the fucking truth."

"It was an accident!"

You finally hiss, squeezing your eyes shut in utter mortification, because holy SHIT this could not possibly get any worse right now. The sound of footsteps from farther down the hall squeaking to a stop alert both of you to the presence of an uninvited onlooker.

Both you and jude whip your heads around to face them, and you both stand stock still as a petite girl from the media team stands awkwardly in the middle of the hallway, clutching her bag tightly in her arms.

The universe is just full of surprises: it CAN get worse! It's very possible that you might go into cardiac arrest within the next few minutes.

Jude's still boxing you into the wall his chest nearly touching yours as you both flush bright red at the sudden intrusion.

To anyone not aware of the very hostile context of the situation at hand, you've both become hyperaware of the fact that your positions probably look... far from innocent.

Eventually she just giggles bashfully and passes by the both of you to enter the pitch, but not before she could take a picture of you both in the compromised position. She then proceeded to hurriedly say something along the lines of-

"youtwomakeacutecouple!"

"hey!" Jude tried to get her attention but she had scurried away out of sight. He knew it was too late and that the picture probably already been posted on all the gossip accounts on twitter by now.

You're legitimately too scared to look back at Jude. And for good reason, because you can hear how hard he's breathing right now.

If he was pissed before, you don't want to imagine how angry he must be right now.

"What the fuck did you say," he growls, still not moving from his current position. In turn, you choose not to respond, busying yourself with the scuffed floor beneath your sneakers as your heart pounds wildly from within your chest. Ah, yes. Linoleum. Your favorite.

"What the FUCK did you-" he starts again, pushing himself off the wall to stare at you in utter disgust, and you snap.

You're not sure if it's from the adrenaline of this whole situation, or if you've just lost almost all of your braincells in the past 24 hours, but you immediately step forwards after him and hold out a finger to press it firmly against his lips, silencing him in his tracks.

A ballsy move, that's for sure. "Shut up!" You whisper-shriek, your entire body vibrating with energy. "Just- shut the fuck up! I'll explain all of this after training, but I am... NOT going to be counted tardy because.. because of this!" The floor beneath your cleats klick as you turn on your heel towards the pitch, clutching your gym bag firmly and casting one last scathing look over your shoulder.

"Next time, ask me shit like a normal human being without just- trapping me against a wall, you fucking asshole! I can have ur ass in jail for that Bellingham. It's called harassment at workplace" you shouted.

And then you walk into the pitch, as if he's not about to eventually follow you and stand right fucking next to you and listen to coaches instructions.

But damn, did that feel good. Your victory is short lived however, because instead of waiting an appropriate amount of time to enter the room, Jude instead chooses to saunter into the pitch right after you. Like. Directly behind you.

The looks that you're getting from your fellow teammates are overtly obvious at this point, and you can only imagine what they all must be thinking.

You want to turn around and reprimand the shit out of him for not realizing the awkward position he's just put both of you in, for the second time in the past five minutes, but there's already been far too much attention on you today.

Jude surprisingly says nothing, choosing instead to turn away from you and stare off into space.

He seems lost in thought, you think. And for a brief moment, you wonder if you've finally put him in his place. Your phone buzzes, and you see mason from the other side of the pitch trying to catch your eye by "discreetly" waving his phone around like a traffic flagger.

Rolling your eyes, you slide your phone out of your pocket to face the inevitable. You immediately open your phone to see the three unread messages from earlier this morning, as well as a new one from a minute ago.

From: money mase

8:12 AM

YOU'RE DATING JUDE????

8:14 AM

swear down you do!!

8:20 AM

wtf is going on? I'm hearing about it all over camp, I didn't even know that people knew ur name ;P

Ouch.

9:14

UR WALKING IN TOGETHER????? IS IT TRUE???????? How big is it.

Gritting your teeth, you type out a response, fingers tapping the screen a bit harsher than necessary.

You can feel his expectant gaze focused on your form as you answer her.

From: You

9:15 AM

It's all a big shitty misunderstanding

His next text is immediate. And at this point you had no idea how no one had clocked you two being on your phones.

From: money mase

9:16 AM

So ur not dating?

From: You

9:16

AM Ok what exactly are people saying????

From: money mase

9:17 AM

Ok so Idk how it got spread but Rice's been saying something about you two dating and finally becoming official? And that was according to you??? I didn't hear the details but everyone's kinda curious since Jude is like Y'know famous for being him and there's a lot of angry fangirls ngl but he's a good looking boy, so I'm not surprised this blew tf up.

Groaning quietly,

You'd known Jude Bellingham to be a popular figure throughout the country, but his reputation had spiked considerably after that game, with people going as far as to making thirsty edits of him

Whatever.

You had still disliked him.

From: You

9:18 AM

I forgot about the fangirls. Idk how he even has any they don't know what he really is like...

From: money mase

9:20 AM

hahaha they like the bad boy vibe But yeah since some people knew you two were uh really cold with each other like in training and team bonding activities.

It came as a big surprise and Rice took off and made it into a whole hidden romance thing so it's got people weirdly intrigued. But main thing is he's claiming you were the one who said you and Jude were dating and idk he's a gossip but a reputable source soooo what's goin on?? >_>

Your coach begins to explain session course and you tuck your phone back into your pocket, mentally cursing every god in existence. Of course Declan just had to take one out of context conversation and turn it into a whole... real life fan fiction plot. Or something stupid like that.

What on earth are you supposed to do now.

You wind up pondering over that question for almost the entire rest of training, halfheartedly dribbling the ball past the dummies as you desperately search for a way out of this mess.

On one hand, you could try and ignore it all. Go about your life like nothing's wrong. But that would probably raise questions from people that you, quite frankly, wouldn't care to answer.

The other option is just telling Rice the truth, or at least saying you and Jude definitely AREN'T involved. So maybe he can spread that around instead. But you have a feeling that somehow, the whole thing might spin around on you, and you'll be branded as a liar, or worse: a creepy fangirl. You might even get kicked out.

The imaginary accusation makes you shudder. Dragging your hands down your face in exasperation, you snag a glance at Jude through the gaps between your fingers. He appears... less angry than you'd expected him to be. Considering everything that's happened in the past 24 hours.

brown eyes snap to meet yours. You panic and look away. Slapping a hand over your mouth, you stand in stunned silence as the guy in front of you just stares apathetically back at you. "I'm sorry-" you begin, but he scrunches his nose in disgust before you can finish.

You try to apologize again, stumbling over every word that comes out of your mouth, but he just turns away from you with a glare.

"Learn to speak properly you, prick," he mutters. Walking past you to greet James.

"keep ur mouth shut. Wouldn't want your fangirls hearing their little judy using such words, now do we?" you question with a lingering smirk playing on your lips. Only to be greeted by him simply turning his head glaring at you and mouthing bitch.

Nice going.

You've got half a mind to run like hell when training is finally over. But you did promise Jude that you'd explain, well, everything. And he's definitely holding you to that promise.

He stands up seemingly prepared to follow you out of the pitch again and it takes everything in you to not turn around and bap him on the head for not realizing that him tailing you so closely is bound to solidify the rumors in your fellow peers' minds. "Follow me," he grunts, slipping past you and into the aisle walkway.

Never mind.

Now you're the one following like a lovesick puppy. The thought of being that enamored with Jude grosses you out, so you discard it. It feels like everyone's looking now, though.

But the stares don't seem to bother him as much as they bother you, because he doesn't so much as bat an eye when a few of your teammates begin to whisper to themselves as they look at him, then at you, then back to him.

You scamper along behind him, willing yourself to become as small as physically possible so you can shrink away from the curious gazes that surround you. Leaving the classroom feels like a much-needed breath of fresh air, but you still notice a few students lingering around.

Jude leads you down the hallway and to the right, and from then on takes multiple turns and twists across the building until you find yourselves in front of the doorway to an empty room. The people have completely thinned out, and this wing of the facility seems completely abandoned.

You peer around his broad shoulders to get a good look inside. It seems like it's been abandoned for years now, with thin layers of dust coating nearly every surface and with thin layers of dust coating nearly every surface and cobwebs hanging from the ceiling.

He explains stiffly. "Used to chill here with Trent and James "

And then he's walking inside without so much as a glance backwards to ensure that you're following. He probably assumes you'll go after him anyways, the cocky bastard.

But you actually do, much to your own displeasure, so maybe it's not totally unjustifiable. It still pisses you off though. He stops in the middle of the room, staring absentmindedly at the ceiling with his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans.

"I'm sorry about earlier." You nearly pinch yourself to ensure that, no, this isn't a dream, and the Jude Bellingham is actually apologizing to you for something.

"I shouldn't have grabbed you like that," he admits, his voice low. "Shitty move on my part."

"I- You're fine," you manage to stammer out, still dumbfounded at this recent development. The tension seems to visibly lift from his body.

Then, with a glance over his shoulder, he narrows his eyes.

"So... explanation. Now." Sighing, you trod over to an empty desk and plop down. You shouldn't have expected him to truly be any different than normal, you supposed. But, there's no time like the present. Might as well get this all over with.

"Ok, so... this all started because of my aunt Sylvie's wedding."

Fifteen minutes later, you've completely caught him up to date on the truth about what happened - as well as a tiny rant about just how much you desperately hate Tom - and finally finish your story, only to be met with an awkward silence.

He's turned to face you completely by now, having been listening intently with only a few subtle shifts in his expression. None that you could read, though. For all you know, he could be mentally plotting your murder right now. Swallowing your pride, you stare down defeatedly at your hands.

"I'm sorry," you finally whisper when the deafening quiet becomes almost unbearable. Because being honest, this mess is your fault at the end of the day. The least you can do is clean it up.

"I'll tell Rice, and hopefully he can just spread the truth around this time. Or, you can, if you haven't already. I don't know. And I mean, that's fine, I just don't want to put you in an awkward position, so actually if you want me to do it instead-"

"You need a plus-one?" The question catches you off-guard, and you stop mid- ramble.

"Excuse me?"

"The wedding," he repeats, rolling his eyes. "you need a plus-one to go?"

Nodding cautiously, you shift in your seat. "Yeah, my aunt's kind of a micro-manager about that stuff. I don't know why, but now she thinks I RSVPed so... I'll probably have to just pay her back."

He stares at you for a few moments longer, before cursing and roughly running a hand through his hair. You're completely perplexed now, unsure of why he asked such a question in the first place.

Does he feel bad or something? Why would he ever feel bad though? No, it must be something else. Turning to the side, Jude clicks his tongue a few times, foot tapping impatiently on the hardwood floor. He curses once more, then wheels around to face you again with resigned scowl etched onto his features.

You raise an eyebrow.

"I'll do it."

The words are so sudden and out of place that you can't help but bark out an abrupt laugh, quickly moving your hand to cover your mouth.

"What?" He takes a few steps closer, eyes still narrowed. "I said I'll do it."

"Oh my god, you're serious," you breathe, unsure of what emotion you're exactly supposed to be feeling right now. Because elated is definitely not one of them. Why the fuck is Jude, the guy with whom you share a mutual hatred, offering to be your plus-one to a week long wedding vacation?

Your romantic plus-one? Your first thought is that he pities you, but that seems unlikely even for Jude. So is he trying to score reputation brownie points by helping you out in this situation? What is going on??

You're about to flat-out refuse, not wanting to be some asshole's charity case, when he speaks again.

"But I need you to do me a favor in return."

(a/n) - chapter 3 comes out tomorrow

#jude bellingham fic #jude bellingham x fotballer reader #jude bellingham fluff #jude bellingham blurb #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham smut #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham #trent alexander arnold x reader #trent alexander arnold smut

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its-time-to-write · 1 month

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please don’t be - ch. 5

I’m so terribly sorry that this so late. I wasn’t entirely sure how I wanted to end this, and I almost added another chapter, but here it is!! Thanks for your patience and for 1k 🩵🩵 (ps you should listen to nothing to be scared of by Kacey Musgraves)

table of contents our town

You’re staring at him again. Jamie hates it, but also he doesn’t care because he gets to gaze into your beautiful eyes once more.

“Hm,” you say, because you can’t come up with something better. Instead, you let him be uncomfortable. You spent a long time making space for him, so in this, he can wait.

“I should have left you,” you say eventually.

“I know,” Jamie replies ruefully. “Remember you fuckin’ told me?”

You nod. “I do. And then I told you that I never leave. I always stay till the last second, and it’s the worst thing about me. And you said-” You pause. There’s no point in bringing up the past.

“I said some stupid shit about my mum,” Jamie fills in.

You nod. “Yeah, it was stupid. I know you said it just to get me to stay.”

“Didn’t,” Jamie interjects. You give him a look. “Alright, shit, maybe I did. But I wanted you to stay. I loved you, I was just too fucking scared to say it.”

“I gave you SO many opportunities to tell me,” you reply. “And you didn’t take any of them, you just left me behind. I knew you were going to so it’s fine, but you can’t just come back into my life and fuck things up again. I’m really not in the mood for it.”

You’re lying straight to his face, and you wonder if he knows. You hope he doesn’t. All you need is to wait just long enough for Jude to come back and then Jamie can go away and you don’t have to let him back in. Not that you have to. But you want to.

You understand that the moment he lets you have an inch, you’ll take a mile. You’ll write your whole future together based on a passing comment or an arm around your waist.

But Jamie knows you’re lying. You see it flicker in his eyes for half a second too long, and you know you’re screwed.

You take a step back. Jude isn’t coming back.

“I’m going,” you say. “I’m going, so don’t follow me. I can’t take you back. We won’t work.”

And Jamie- Jamie sees it.

You were always the visionary, weren’t you? The one who designed the future as though it were as easy as scribbling on a piece of paper. The one who saw the worst but believed in the best, and Jamie never quite believed you the one time you told him it could work forever, if he wanted.

He believes it now, though.

It’s too late as you slip past him and back inside, presumably to find Julia and keep her from committing murder; or maybe you’ll let her have free reign and Jamie is a dead man in about fifteen minutes.

It drives him mad, the future, and he wonders how it didn’t drive you mad as well.

—

France, Spain, Italy. They blend together in a haze of sunshine and lemon, as you, Nicola, and Julia travel the summer away.

You refuse to think of Jamie, wherever he may be, but as July becomes August, you wonder what his mum is doing.

You’re on a first class flight back to London scrolling through Instagram, and you find yourself looking at her account.

It’s private, but she followed you first a million years ago and you realize neither of you ever unfollowed the other.

So you’re able to see how she’s filling her days.

She doesn’t always post Jamie’s face, but you see a familiar sleeve, or a Jamie-shaped shadow. You scroll back far enough to find a post from his twenty-seventh birthday which is a mistake because it’s a photo of Jamie blowing out candles with your arms wrapped around him.

You remember that moment, you were laughing and singing with his family while lying to yourself about how serious everything was.

But there’s no time to go down THAT rabbit trail so you close your phone and try to sleep through the rest of the flight.

—

Jamie is in hell. Training started a week ago, and it’s a shit show. It doesn’t help that he was never like this when you were with him. The first match of the season is coming up and he needs to get it the fuck together. There’s no way he’s getting in the starting lineup like this, not with the way he keeps glancing to the stands like you’ll be there.

He can’t help but think of you all the time, wherever you may be, and he tricks himself into seeing your face in every crowd.

He debates calling you (he never could delete your number), but he’s pretty sure he’s blocked so he doesn’t.

—

Jamie’s right, he doesn’t get started, but he has a good run in the second half. City win, obviously, but instead of going out with the lads Jamie gives them the slip and heads home.

Except he doesn’t exactly head straight home, he just sort of wanders around Manchester until he ends up in his favorite chicken shop.

He has exactly one day off of training so he figures one cheat meal won’t fuck him up more than he already is. It’s late, and he shouldn’t be eating at this hour, but he cannot give less of a fuck. He orders and goes to sit in the corner booth, only to find it occupied.

He thinks it’s you, for a moment, but you’re not in Manchester. He doesn’t know where you are, but that he knows for certain.

He’s wrong.

You’re looking up at him with a half-eaten plate of chips in front of you, and Jamie remembers every time you’ve looked at him like that.

“You have puppy eyes,” he said.

You scrunched your nose. “I know they’re puffy,” you said. “I was just crying in the car.”

“No, puppy eyes. I’d never say your eyes were fucking puffy, unless you were like, fucking dying or something.”

You had blushed and looked away, and Jamie knew he shouldn’t have said it. Knew he was getting in over his head.

Those eyes look more tired than he’s ever seen them, but you say, “Need a seat?” as you gesture to the place across from you.

Jamie slides in before he can think better of it. “Bit crowded in here,” he says, and you glance around to the empty tables.

“Wouldn’t have offered to share if it weren’t so hard to find a table,” you say.

He smiles, and you want to make him smile like that all the time.

“Watched the match,” you tell him. “You were great.”

Jamie rolls his eyes. “I were shit, and you know it. Don’t know what the fuck was happening.”

“You weren’t shit. You always say that, and you’re never right.”

You’re not sure exactly what’s coming over you right now. You’re detached from your body, watching this scene unfold from above.

Jamie shakes his head. “Why do you always say shit like that? Why the fuck did you stay for so long? You knew-” He’s unable to finish, captivated by the pools of tears collecting in your eyes. He knows you’d rather die than let them fall, and he wishes he weren’t the cause.

“You still have the most beautiful eyes in the whole fuckin’ world,” he says softly.

You glare at him. “Fuck you for that,” you say. “And I stayed because I wanted to. And because I thought you’d change. You changed everything else for me, and then didn’t ask me to come with you. You just assumed that I wouldn’t want every part of you, remember? You didn’t listen when I told you how much I’d give up for you. And sure, it’s not very feminist of me, but I- I loved you. I’d do anything for the people I love. But you never fucking asked.”

You sigh. This conversation is a lot angrier than you wanted. You’re not angry. At least, not with Jamie. With yourself, sure. You take a bite of a chip to stave off the tears.

Jamie’s still processing. “You would’ve stayed longer?” he asks slowly.

You almost choke. “Yes, you absolute fucking idiot! I told you that! Your mum fucking told you, for Christ’s sake! Everyone fucking knew how much I loved you, and I knew you didn’t feel the same which is why I didn’t fight you when you left! I figured it was time for me to move on as well, so I did my absolute fucking best. But yeah, Jamie, I love you. Every part, too. Not just the things you think make you lovable.” You stand up. “I’m leaving. Goodbye, Jamie.”

As you brush past him, he catches your wrist. You look down at him with as much disdain as you can muster (it’s not a lot).

“Stay,” he whispers.

And you’re at a crossroads.

—

Three years later…

“Can’t believe we’re going back,” you groan as you tape a box.

“Coach asked,” Jamie calls from another room. “And you better not be lifting anything.”

“I’m not,” you shoot back as he enters the room. “That’s what you’re for. And anyway, the movers will be here in half an hour, so there won’t be much for me to do anyway.”

Jamie wraps his arms around your waist so he can pull you close and study your eyes. “You sure you’re alright going back to Richmond?”

You shrug as best you can. “I’m living the dream, babe. Not worried about it.”

And Jamie believes you.

He can’t believe much else, that’s for sure, not that you took him back.

“One last chance, Jamie Tartt,” you had warned. “Fuck it up and I’m gone before you can blink.”

So he didn’t. Sure, no one’s perfect, but he’s trying. You both are. You’ve made it this far. Who’s to say it’ll crash and burn?

Besides, he’s got a rock burning a hole in his pocket that says otherwise.

table of contents

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt #ted lasso

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iluvshinytwink · 1 year

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Moonlight - Jude Bellingham

"I just wanna get high with my lover. Veo una muñeca cuando miro en el espejo. Kiss, kiss."

Synopsis: Late at night at the dining table there was a bottle of wine, two glasses, and two people.

Now Playing . . . Moonlight by Kali Uchis

RANDOM DISCLAIMERRR!! 😱😱 this has suggestive content so like beware yk, but no pp or vajayjay because idk how that shit works, also this is my first time making suggestive content but moonlight is doing INEXPLAINABLE things to me rn so ima try my best

Jude's team won a vital game for the season and came home happily to celebrate with you.

The door slams open, revealing a smiley Jude. You were in front of the door, ready to give your lovely boyfriend the tightest hug. Jude smiled at you, you squealed before engulfing him in a tight hug. Jude laughs before returning the hug before picking you up from the ground.

"You did so well!" you smiled, pecking Jude's lips. You looked into his eyes, his eyes lit up in excitement and your heartbeat quickened. Jude nears your face, connecting his lips with yours.

Jude pulls away and looks at your face. A blush dusted on your cheeks as a bashful smile was seen on your lips. Jude chuckles, spinning you around in his arms. You let out a shriek before erupting into giggles.

Jude puts you down and quickly makes his way to the kitchen. You follow behind him.

You see Jude fumbling in numerous cabinets before taking something out, a bottle of wine. "Bringing out the fine China are we?" you joked, sitting on a chair. Jude brings out two glasses from another cabinet and makes his way to the table.

Jude sets it on the table as he chuckled. "It's a special occasion." he giggled, sitting down. You took the wine bottle in your hands and began opening it.

"Let's start small." you smiled, pouring a small amount of wine into both of your glasses. Jude reaches for the cap of the wine bottle and tosses it behind him. "You sure, honey?" you chuckled, placing the wine bottle on the table. Jude nods with a smile before taking the glass into his hands.

You take your glass and clink it into his. "To the wonderful victory you achieved today, baby." you looked into his eyes as his lips form another smile. You take the glass and bring it to your lips, sipping the wine.

The night started in bliss, laughter filled the room and your jaws hurt from smiling and laughing continuously. The wine bottom started as full, then as the minutes pass by the wine bottle finally reached the half mark.

Jude clinked your bottle, his eyes grew heavy but the same heart-aching smile stayed on his lips.

"Hey! You put so much wine on my glass!" Jude complained. "You put too much on mine like 3 glasses ago!" you laughed. Your cheeks were bright red from all the wine and you started becoming sleepier by the minute. "You gave me too much wine like.. 2 glasses ago!" Jude fired back. "Fine, I'll drink some of yours." you playfully rolled your eyes, standing up from your seat. Jude laughs.

You make your way to Jude's seat but you noticed that when you stood up a headache immediately pounded your head. When you reach Jude's seat, you felt yourself fumble with your steps resulting in you holding onto Jude's shoulder tightly to maintain balance.

"Babe? You okay?" Jude asked, about to stand up. "So sleepy." you mumbled underneath your bed. With that, Jude stands up. But like you, Jude immediately feels a pang in his head the moment he stood up. Even so, he sweeps you off your feet and you were now in his arms, bridal style.

Your eyes were shut with the comfort of his arms. You felt yourself slowly drifting to sleep.

Jude wanted to go to the bedroom but the headache was making him unable to and so he drops himself with you in his arms on the couch.

You felt your eyes slowly open again. Jude's head rocks back, his eyes also closed. A smile curled your lips.

You started untangling yourself from your boyfriend's arms which made his own eyes open in confusion. A smirk appears on your face as you plant a kiss on his cheek. A smile appears on Jude's clearly hungover and tired face.

"One more." he mumbled to you, almost desperately. And one more you did. This time you planted this kiss on his forehead. "More." he whispered, eyes still closed. This time your lips meet his. And it didn't take long for him to kiss you back.

Jude's hands adjust you, pulling you into him. His hands lay on your waist, Your hands cupped his face. You pull away from Jude, planting more kisses all over his face. Jude laughs. "That tickles, baby." he smiled. Jude's lips finds yours.

Finally, Jude pulls away from you.

"You look so pretty." you commented. Jude's eyes soften, a bashful smile on his face. "You're prettier." he breathed out, pecking your forehead.

I JUST WANNA RIDE GET HIGH IN THE MOONLIGHT 😫😫

Important Note: This will be my last post for my 230 follower special. Thank you again for 230 followers, I love each and every one of you. Don't worry I'll still post on Wednesday, you'll live 🙄🙄

MAKE SURE TO SMASHHH!!!!!!!!! THAT LIKE BUTTON AND SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE BANGERS LIKE DEEZ!! <3333

#jude bellingham #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham x you #iluvshinytwink #delulu hours exe #imsoslaying #jude bellingham imagines

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bookqueenrules · 7 months

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I go back and forth on Beth being alive and TPTB just being shitty writers who needed a shock value death. The back half of season 5 was so hard to get through cause I just wanted answers. Then sometimes I think 5x08 was just a shitty last minute rewrite because we know so much else was filmed and there was a shit ton of symbolism throughout the first half that meant her living. I still can’t get over the car scene in 5x10 or the coda after she gets shot. That’s the worst part is not having answers. But you’re 100% right. If they want viewers back then they NEED to shake it up. Stop writing in circles.

Hi,

I think the truth is that we can't be 100% sure of anything. I would refer you to the AMAZING twdmusicboxmystery and her fellow theorist for all of the symbolism and weirdness pointing to Beth's return. I love analyzing the symbols too, but I also look at the practical.

So, the whole purpose of this spin-off is Daryl's happy ending, right? Judith says this to him as he is LEAVING Carol and Jude. So, how could just making it back home to them be his happy ending? It can't. Sorry to Carly fans, but they ended the flagship with Carol/Zeke rebuilding their relationship and yet another BEST FRIEND declaration from both Daryl and Carol. It won't be adding a romance with Carol as his happy ending. He could have had that any time in the last few seasons.

Will it be Isabelle? A French nun? How is that going to work in the TWD universe? Daryl WILL, at some point, have to go home. I have more thoughts on why it won't be Isabelle in the previous ask.

Connie? That has been firmly cemented as a friend only relationship. Daryl and Connie had a couple of years to pursue something and never did.

A new character? Not likely. The fans wouldn't accept it, and, practically speaking, the first two seasons of DD are filming in France, so the character would have some of the same issues as Isabelle does as Daryl's happy ending.

Beth was taken away from Daryl before their relationship could develop further, but even though we don't "see" it go full romance, Daryl is devastated and inconsolable for quite some time at her loss. He doesn't react the same to loosing anyone else. Did he burn himself over Merle or Rick? No. That should speak volumes to the audience. She has tons of ties to the remaining TWD characters. Practically, it is hard to make a case for it being anyone BUT Beth.

But, she's dead, right? On FTWD the have brought back not one but TWO core characters the audience thought were dead for MANY years this season. The original working title of the DD spin-off was Raise the Dead! The whole TWDU is about raising the dead!

Fun Fact: According to the University of Google, a person has 42% of surviving a gunshot wound to the head if they receive medical treatment. The last time we saw Beth she was at Grady. We didn't see her buried or what happened to her body. This is EASY writing to bring her back.

Here is something interesting Angela Kang, who is a TWD showrunner and an executive producer of DD, said about Leah. When questioned she said they had NEVER planned to show Leah/Daryl kissing, COVID or not, because they knew where the story was going. She said they wanted to save Daryl's first on screen kiss for something monumental. When he really kisses someone, a romantic lip to lip, we will know that's it.

So, the writers have been holding out not having, IMO, their sexiest male lead even KISS anyone for 12 years! Why? The only sane answer is that had a plan all along. The plan may have been delayed or altered slightly, but Beth has always been the plan. They have stuck to that. I believe she will show up, but I am concerned that their continuing to delay bringing her back and restarting her story will negatively impact the spin-off, and the story they end up telling.

I know that was a LONG answer but thank you for the ask!

#team delusional #bethyl #beth greene lives #beth greene #twd daryl and beth #twdmusicboxmystery #beth is coming

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ollieofthebeholder · 2 months

Text

to find promise of peace (and the solace of rest): a TMA fanfic

Read from the beginning on Tumblr || AO3 || My Website

Chapter 100: February 2018

“…Statement ends.” Martin let the last page fall into his lap and sighed. It wasn’t exactly satisfaction or delight, but he felt…full, in a way he hadn’t in a while. Weak as the thing that had once been half of a whole and was now the sole remnant of a near conquering army was, it was still old and it hadn’t survived that long not being powerful. He’d be able to live off this one for a bit.

“It’s probably a bad sign that I’ve started thinking of these statements in terms of flavor,” he mused into the recorder, which buzzed comfortingly in his hand. “It’s definitely a bad sign that statements from other avatars and servitors—Jude Perry, Breekon, my fucking mother—the people and things that cause fear more than anything—literally seem to leave a bad or bitter taste in my mouth, but ones from actual victims are…almost sweet. The written ones we’ve got out in the Archives don’t really have much flavor to them, but they satiate the hunger, even if I do have to, uh, consume more of them to do that. Still, I think I’m going to stick with that for a while. That’s not something I want to start getting a taste for, especially after this statement. And I can really do without any more nightmares.” He paused, thinking it over. “I wonder if Breekon dreams.”

A few feet away, Melanie shifted on the cot and groaned softly. That wasn’t all that unusual; she’d been doing it off and on since Martin had come in, and he’d mostly tuned it out while he was recording. This time, however, she came awake with a gasp. “Oh, fu—”

“Melanie?” Martin straightened up and set the recorder on the top of the file cabinet as he scooted closer. “Hey, hey, it’s okay, you’re safe.”

“Ma—Mar’in?” Melanie blinked at him, looking disorientated and lost. “Why’s m’ leg hur’?”

Martin had really hoped that wouldn’t be the first question she asked when she came round, but of course Melanie couldn’t go for the clich��ed Where am I query. He tried to speak as gently as possible. “There was a bullet in your leg. We had to take it out.”

“I got shot? ‘Gain?” Melanie frowned and patted vaguely at her leg. “Why ‘m I…pants?”

“Hang on.” Martin picked up the cup of tea Jon had made him and pressed it gently into Melanie’s hands. On second thought, he cupped his own hands under hers and guided it to her mouth. “Here. Take a drink, okay? You’re probably dehydrated.” He was stalling, and he knew it, but he also knew that if he explained it to her while she was still groggy and couldn’t process properly just so she would accept without argument, things would be way worse later on. Anyway, she was probably dehydrated.

Melanie took several slow, careful sips. After about the third one, a funny look crossed her face; it took two more before she looked at Martin, her eyebrows knitting together but her eyes looking a bit clearer—emphasis on a bit. “Why did you put milk in my tea?”

“I didn’t. Jon put milk in my tea, but that was all I had on hand.” Martin reached out for the mug, and Melanie let him have it. “How are you feeling?”

Melanie considered the question seriously from all angles. “Like shit.”

Martin couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s…probably fair.”

He took a sip of the tea—cold, but it still tasted just fine—and watched Melanie for a moment as she studied herself. Sasha hadn’t thrown a blanket over her when she laid her down, so her legs were fully on display. She touched the bare skin exposed by the torn pant leg lightly. “Did something…get me?”

There was a temptation, a very, very small temptation, to let her believe that, but even the possibility of lying about something like this sent a sticky swirl of guilt through Martin’s chest, and he knew he’d never be able to do it. He’d never been anything but honest with Melanie and he definitely wasn’t going to start with something like what he’d done. “I told you, we had to take a bullet out of your leg.”

“Right. Right.” Melanie took a deep breath and looked up at him suspiciously. “How’d it get there?”

“India. Or so we assume. The whole damn thing was soaked in the Slaughter, and it was…infecting you.” Martin swallowed hard, well aware that the slowly spreading striations of red spreading from that spot on her thigh like a glowing map of the London Underground was going to haunt his every waking moment for a while yet—there wasn’t room for it in his nightmares anymore. “We—I got it all, but…Jesus, Neens, I’m sorry. I should have…I should have Looked sooner.”

“I wouldn’t have let you,” Melanie admitted candidly. She ran her fingers around the butterflies. “You did this?”

Martin hummed in the affirmative. “Might have to get you down to the clinic in a bit to get proper stitches in there and make sure I didn’t, you know, cause a regular infection. But I did what I could with what I had.”

“Mmm.” Melanie scraped her tongue against her teeth. “What’d you knock me out with? Feels like that time I tried to be helpful and clean the bathroom.”

“That’s…not a bad comparison, actually. It was chloroform.”

“Chloroform?” Weak as she was, a flare of anger rose in Melanie’s eyes, and she sat up straighter. “Where the fuck did you get chloroform?”

Martin held up both his hands. The temptation to let her believe that was even stronger, but he knew nobody would forgive him if he did. “I didn’t. Sasha had it. She wouldn’t tell me why, just said not to ask questions I didn’t want to know the answers to, but…”

“But you asked anyway?”

“I didn’t. Swear on Dad’s crypt. I’m guessing it wasn’t for you, but I haven’t asked, o-or tried Looking. I had other things to worry about.” Martin risked reaching for one of Melanie’s hands. “Like getting that bullet out of your leg before it took you over completely. Or reassuring Jon I wasn’t going to bleed to death.”

“You weren’t going to bleed to death?” Melanie said incredulously.

Martin winced. “Um. Well. You sort of…stabbed me?”

“I what?” Melanie shrieked, at a decibel level that definitely tested the room’s soundproofing. What little color there was in her face drained out of it. She lurched forward and started to swing her legs towards the edge of the cot.

“Easy, easy, Neenie, I’m okay!” Martin blocked her shoulder as gently as he could with one hand to forestall her. With the other, he tugged at the tear he’d made in his shirt, widening it so she could see the knitted pink ridge of flesh on his chest. “See? I’m okay. Bleeding stopped easily enough.”

He hoped she would assume it hadn’t been a deep cut. She didn’t. “That’s not any better, Martin! Jesus, I—I remember now. I was so angry with everything—Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday, and Basira being gone and Jon being so upset about the anniversary of Leitner’s murder, and the Chinese New Year is t-tomorrow and that’s the same day it was the year Mama died—and then you told me you were going to Look for me—fucking hell, you didn’t even actually do it! And I just got so mad and—and then I—what is that, ten Marks you’ve got now?”

Martin hesitated. “Twelve, I think. But it’s—honestly, Melanie, it’s okay. Just one more scar for the collection, I guess.” He tried for a laugh. “Not the end of the world, you know?”

Melanie didn’t seem particularly convinced of that; at the very least, she looked as though it might be the end of the world for her. “But I gave it to you.”

“And I forgive you for that.” Martin tried to go in for a hug, but Melanie leaned away and he sat back, willing to not push things. Instead, he tapped the side of his head. He’d discovered, the first time he actually looked in a mirror after getting home from America, that the lock of hair there had turned white as snow. “Papa gave me this one. I don’t blame him for it. Half the other Marks I have are from protecting people I love—”

“But they aren’t scars.”

“I was trying to protect Jon from the worms when I got, well…” Martin gestured at the faint scars still dotting his face. “Trevor only stabbed me because I wouldn’t tell him where to find Gerry.”

“That’s different and you know it. So is your father kissing you, that’s not—” Melanie reached out like she wanted to touch the stab wound, but drew back. “Jesus, I could have killed you. I—I tried to kill you.”

“Maybe,” Martin conceded. “But you didn’t kill me.” He took her hand and placed it over the scar—placed it, too, over his heart, so she could feel that it was still beating strongly in his chest. “More important, you didn’t want to kill me. I’m okay, Neens. I promise. It’s going to be okay.”

“I hate you,” Melanie grumbled, but she pressed her hand a bit closer to his chest before sliding it away. “And I’m still angry.”

Martin shrugged. “I didn’t cut all of the Slaughter out of you, just the bullet. You were still Marked by it before that.”

“I still don’t get how just watching Sarah Baldwin talk to…whatever it was was enough to Mark me,” Melanie mumbled. “I was fascinated by it, but I wasn’t afraid of it like I was of Sarah.”

Another lance of horrible, almost crippling guilt pierced Martin through the heart. God, how had he not thought of that himself, way back when he first Looked to see their Marks? “You…I think you were Marked way earlier than that, Neenie. Talking of when your mother died—do, do you remember the lion dance?”

“I mean, there’s always a…” Melanie trailed off, frowning as she obviously tried to remember. Suddenly her eyes widened. “Oh. Oh, my God. It—there was a lion I didn’t recognize and it was chasing the musicians—it killed one and—Lau Pei, one of the real lions, the regular ones, he asked me for help and…oh, God, I’d forgotten about that. I thought I dreamed it.” Her gaze suddenly sharpened, and she turned a scowl on Martin. “Get out of my head.”

“I didn’t look in your head,” Martin insisted. “Tim told me. Apparently Gerry had a flashback about it—a flashback where he was you, like the one he had before Christmas where he was Mum. Tim didn’t have a lot of details, but Gerry’s on his way, in theory, so you can ask him about it.”

Melanie swung her good leg off the cot. “Well. Let’s go do that, then.”

She swung the second leg off to meet the first and winced as it—evidently—pulled at the cut, but she swatted away Martin’s concerned hand. She did, at least, accept his assistance in standing up, and leaned heavily on his arm as they limped out the door and into the Archives.

Tim and Sasha were apparently mid-argument; they stopped when they heard Martin and Melanie coming towards them and turned. Sasha smiled, a bit tentatively, but her eyes were still worried. “Melanie—how are you feeling?”

“Sore, but I’ll live.” Melanie’s tone of voice implied she wasn’t altogether sure if that was a good thing or not, and possibly that she intended to make that Sasha’s problem. “Martin told me what happened. Where’s Gerry, and why did you have chloroform?”

“Gerry’s on his way,” Tim said, in a gentle voice that was probably meant to be soothing and that even a few hours ago would probably have had Melanie throwing things. “He had an appointment with someone about a book, probably not a Leitner, but he said he’d be here as soon as he could.”

Melanie turned back to Sasha, but before either of them could say anything, the exterior door to the Archives opened, followed by hurrying footsteps. A second later, Gerry appeared, looking out of breath and worried. Whoever he’d been meeting with had obviously been important; far from his usual band shirts and baggy jeans, he was dressed in a cream-colored turtleneck and pressed trousers, an old and faded green corduroy jacket with leather patches at the elbows, and brown loafers. He’d even tied his hair back in a low ponytail, so he looked more like a professor or an academic than a goth painter. The thing that startled Martin most about his appearance was the white streak on the side of his head, despite the rest of his hair being freshly dyed a shiny, even black that would, given past evidence, start fading in random streaks and patches in a day or two.

“Is everyone okay?” he asked breathlessly. “What happened?”

Tim, Sasha, and—surprisingly—Melanie all turned to look at Martin, who sighed. “We’re fine. Mostly. Melanie still had a bullet in her leg from when she got shot in India and it was infecting her with the Slaughter—”

“What?” Gerry’s face turned, if anything, even paler than usual. “Jesus, Melanie, I’m so sorry, I should have—”

“Should have what? You don’t have freaky Eye powers,” Melanie snapped, then added grudgingly, “And I wouldn’t have let Martin Look if he’d asked, so it’s not anyone’s fault but mine. I stabbed Martin over it.” Before Gerry could react to that, she turned to Sasha and added, “And you didn’t answer my question. Why did you have chloroform?”

“I think Gertrude had some, but I’m pretty sure she used it all,” Gerry said, a bit uncertainly. “Wait, you knocked her out with chloroform?”

“I…yes,” Sasha admitted. “Just a little, though. I mean, it was just enough for her body weight to knock her out, and not so much that it would do permanent damage—”

“And why did you have it, Sasha?” Melanie demanded.

“Melanie,” Martin murmured. He was burning with curiosity, too, but if Sasha had said he didn’t want to know, he probably didn’t want to know.

“No, fuck that, that’s not something you just have. Let alone know how much to use.” Melanie folded her arms over her chest and glared at Sasha. “How long have you been planning to knock me out?”

“I haven’t, I swear,” Sasha insisted. She glanced up at Martin, a bit guiltily, then sighed and said in a low voice, “It was for you. Just—you know, just in case.”

“WHAT?” Melanie’s yell rattled the shelves around them.

“Melanie, stop.” Martin grabbed her by the shoulder and gave her a warning squeeze. “I’ve been demonstrating more and more dangerous powers. Why wouldn’t she have some way to take me out if they got out of hand? I’m not entirely sure chloroform’s the best choice, though. I mean, under the best of circumstances, it takes too long to kick in and I’m taller and heavier than you are, I’d probably be able to fight you off. And in an…avatar state, I guess, I’d likely be way too drunk on my own power to respond well to that. You probably need something closer to a tranquilizer dart.”

“Jesus.” Tim pinched the bridge of his nose briefly. “Don’t let Jon hear you saying things like that.”

Martin looked around, his anxiety suddenly spiking for no real reason he could think of. “Where is Jon?”

“Running an errand. He’ll be back,” Sasha answered. She turned to Gerry. “Tim said you’ve been having flashbacks where you’re other people?”

“Not often, but yeah,” Gerry said slowly. “Did we…not tell you about that? It’s how I knew to tell Martin to call Aunt Lily before Christmas, I’d had a flashback where I was her.”

“And you had one where you were Melanie? What did you—”

“No, wait,” Melanie interrupted, letting go of Martin’s arm and leaning on the desk in front of her. Her eyes were fixed, not on Gerry, but on Sasha. “What’s Jon up to? What kind of errand could he be running? He wouldn’t have gone off without telling Martin, unless he was just going to the break room to get tea—and if he was doing that, you’d have said so from the off. What’s he doing?”

“It’s fine,” Sasha said. “He won’t be long, I’m sure.”

“You’re not answering the question,” Melanie said suspiciously.

Martin could feel the static building on his tongue and behind his eyes—the urge to compel Sasha to tell him exactly where Jon had gone and what he was doing—which meant it was something she, or Jon, or both, didn’t want him to know. It could be that it was a nice surprise for Valentine’s Day, which they didn’t celebrate, but no way was his luck that good. And the fact that his anxiety was coalescing into pure fear told him that was probably not what it was anyway.

He swallowed hard to force the Eye back and said, softly and with a great effort to keep it neutral, “Sasha?”

“I told you this was a bad idea,” Tim hissed.

“Well, it’s not going to do any good otherwise,” Sasha hissed back.

And that was it. Martin knew, deep in his bones, without the Eye providing him any additional help. He knew where Jon had gone, what he’d done, what he was risking, what was going to happen to him.

“No,” he whispered, turning towards the door to the Archivist’s office.

“Look, if he hadn’t, someone else would have,” Sasha said desperately. “Eventually. You wouldn’t have been able to leave it alone and Melanie would have been trying to atone or, or whatever, and Gerry would have been trying to protect all of us, and he made the argument that he had the best chance of finding her and getting out safely…”

“I’m sorry, what are we talking about?” Melanie demanded.

“The coffin is in there,” Tim blurted out. “The one that Breekon and Hope were toting around, only there’s only one of them left. It delivered it not long before I got here, and it’s in Martin’s office. Daisy is in there and Jon says she’s still alive. He went in to try and get her out.”

“What?” Gerry and Melanie cried in unison.

“No, no, no.” Martin would not panic, damn it all, that wouldn’t help. He had to be calm and rational and—and screw that, the man he loved more than life itself, the man he loved so much it hurt, had climbed into a box that led directly to the Buried. He had every reason to panic. Clutching the recorder he’d forgotten he still held, he started for the office.

“Whoa!” Tim grabbed his arm.

“Let go of me, Tim.” Martin yanked his arm free, making Tim stumble back a step.

“No, don’t!” Melanie cried out, lunging towards him and managing to grab his sleeve, at least.

Gerry rushed around the desks and stood between him and the door, arms outspread. “Martin, you can’t, you’ve already been Marked, it—it won’t let you go.”

“I’m not leaving Jon down there alone!” Martin wasn’t crying, but it was taking a lot of effort not to, and also not to call on the Beholding and Know where Jon was, compel the others to leave him alone, force them to let him in…even if that wasn’t really in his purview. “Someone has to go in after him, and it might as well be me!”

“No.” Gerry’s voice echoed with the strange, resonant quality it had taken on in the warehouse when he Reaped the waxwork that had turned out to be Danny, at Rosewood Forest when he’d proclaimed Liliana Blackwood’s death. The air in the Archives seemed to drop several degrees, and Gerry’s eyes lost all their color—pupils, iris, even the blood vessels turning white, like a pencil sketch. His hair, too, suddenly turned white, coming loose from its tie to stand on end in a flowing, undulating halo around his head like he’d just received a jolt of static electricity.

“Shit.” Tim pushed himself straight and lunged forward. He ran around behind Gerry and wrapped his arms around his torso from behind. “Got you. I’m here. I’m here.”

Martin had never, in his entire life, been afraid of his brother, but he was afraid now. The recorder clattered to the desk, miraculously not breaking or popping open, as he grabbed Melanie and Sasha on instinct to try and protect them. “What’s going on?”

Tim’s face was ashen. “Just wait. You’ll see.”

Gerry lifted his head, seeming to stare at a point somewhere over Martin’s shoulder, but also seeming to stare at something that wasn’t there…or at the very least wasn’t then. The temperature continued to drop…and drop…and drop…until Martin, clasping Sasha and Melanie as close to himself as he could, swore he could hear ice crystals forming in the air. He found himself instinctively gathering the static, gearing himself up to compel Gerry to stop…if he could even compel him in this state. If it was even Gerry to be compelled and not the End itself.

And then…Gerry began to speak.

#ollie writes fanfic #tma fanfic #the magnus archives #to find promise of peace (and the solace of rest)#martin blackwood #melanie king #sasha james #tim stoker #gerard keay #compulsion #mention of stabbing #mention of nonconsentual surgery #anger #arguments #panic

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thefloatingwriter · 10 months

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underrated marauders era characters hcs <3

Emmeline Vance

ravenclaw

has long black hair and dark brown eyes

would do anything for her friends. literally anything.

half-blood

knew everything about everyone. if she wanted to know she did. no one knew how she did it

her best friends were pandora and marlene

blames herself for surviving the first war when marlene didn’t

^ the guilt only increased when pandora died

visits their graves on the 16th of every month and their birthdays and just talks

took divination (with pandora) and care of magical creatures as her electives

was a bridesmaid for both of their weddings (they were each other’s maid of honors)

loved apple pie and strawberries

she loved the color yellow

Edgar Bones

gryffindor

had red hair and gray eyes

his middle name was antonio after his late grandfather

half-blood

his wife tried hard to convince him not to join the Order but he was very persistent

same year as emmeline (1969 - 1976)

was almost put into hufflepuff

very stubborn

had a younger brother (two years younger) and an older sister (Amelia) who was one year older

almost joined the Quidditch team but decided against it at the last second

wears a lot of crimson

his wedding band is gold and he still grins at it every time he sees it on his finger

james thought him and frank were so cool when he was in first year and marlene found it hysterical (because they’re both complete idiots but so is james soooo)

his patronus is a lion

grinned like an idiot when he found out helen (his wife’s) patronus was a lioness

Helen Bones (née Burton)

hufflepuff

curly dirty blonde hair and green-light gray eyes

muggleborn

friends with basically everyone. loved by essentially the entire school

best friends with hestia jones

prefect

really good at playing the piano

fluent in german (her mum’s german) and understands french but can’t speak it fluently

she knows so much shit from all of the Black brother arguments that were in public spoken in french. emmeline tried to get her to say what they were arguing over but she wouldn’t budge.

sirius first went to her when he started having feelings for remus because she knew she wouldn’t judge him even if she was muggle born (i hc that the wizarding world is a lot more inclusive than the muggle world is but still doesn’t fully accept queer people. the pure bloods are the least acceptive)

good at transfiguration

knows a lot about everyone (similar to emmeline) but she refuses to gossip over it or tell anyone.

started dating edgar in her fourth year.

they were THE couple of their year. like there was dorlene and fralice but they were it. all of the younger students wanted to be one of them

mum friend of the hufflepuffs

Florence Wotton (girlfriend of the boy who hexed Bertha Jorkins after seeing them kissing behind the greenhouses)

hufflepuff

brunette that wears her hair in a ponytail and dark blue eyes

half-blood

she broke up with Stanley (the boy she was caught kissing) in the end of sixth year on good terms

they were friends up until stanley’s death during the second wizarding war

never married or had children

her middle name was augustine

she was best friends with jude williams, a muggle born slytherin, while at hogwarts

florence had to learn multiple defensive spells due to how many times jude was attacked by her own housemates

got the nickname flo by her friends when she made a joke about “going with the flow”

her best subject was potions

Ted Tonks

hufflepuff

had blonde hair and bright green eyes

the younger years loved him

prefect

had so many friendship bracelets, like they literally lined his arm. he refused to ever not wear one of them because “what if the person who gave it to me gets sad”

met andromeda in first year and fell for her hard in third. they started dating in fifth

his hogwarts years were from 1964 - 1971

he had two younger sisters, named ellen and isobel (yes this is based off a fanfic, go read Flights of Fancy)

many jumpers and sweaters. he has a vast collection of ugly christmas sweaters

quidditch commentator

liked by everyone except the pure bloods (what else is new)

andromeda slept in the hufflepuff common room for a lot of her later years at hogwarts. a lot of hufflepuffs grew to like her a lot and she started sleeping in the dormitory with the girls in her year occasionally

the hufflepuffs that knew about her and ted had this whole big oath thing where they swore they would keep their relationship secret

a lot of people actually knew about their relationship. it wasn’t really secret at all, the people that knew just weren’t anyone a pure blood would ever hang out with

good at herbology and transfiguration

#dayne talks #the marauders era #i might add to this later #emmeline vance #edgar bones #helen burton #yes i am making that a tag #florence wotton #ted tonks #tedromeda #dorlene #pandora rosier #marlene mckinnon #wolfstar

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leupagus · 1 year

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Ted Lasso 3.08: Live Gus Reacts (except she went to bed and THEN wrote this)

So first off — as predicted, the storyline of Sam being the victim of a traumatic hate crime was strictly a one-and-done afterschool special. I am zero percent surprised but goddamn is that disappointing. Especially because this episode not only does it AGAIN with Keeley's trauma, but it also clearly shows that the writers can choose not to do it, with how they're treating Colin's storyline as an important topic that is spread out over at least four episodes. These storylines could have been given space, too, but Sudeikis has clearly chosen some characters over others, and I just... really disagree with those choices.

The episode itself!

Hey Jude, What Is This Shit

I have absolutely zero idea where the whole Henry-Ted-Michelle-Jake mess is going, but it was nice to see a glimpse into how Henry actually feels about his dad essentially abandoning him for two and a half years. (Which in the context of the show, I get — but damn it does not work like that in real life.) The comment about how Henry has the most air miles of any kid in his school indicates that he actually flies over to England pretty regularly, which is interesting; I'm guesstimating Henry's age at about 11, which is technically old enough to fly on your own but I cannot imagine how lonely that trip is.

I loved the Beard-Henry connection, though — Beard obviously does this regularly when Henry comes to visit, to the extent that he has his own apron at Ted's house, and although I don't ship Beard/Ted I definitely Get It. The Hey Jude conversation was lovely, and both Hunt and Gus Turner did a great job with that. Also Henry's growing obsession with soccer (he called it football! This is not a kid who's ever playing Pop Warner again, sorry Ted) is great for me personally and the theory that Henry will get recruited by a football academy. Maybe they'll give him drum lessons too.

As for Ted's behavior — I was actually with him about the likelihood of Jake proposing to Michelle, to the point where I didn't get how the rest of the Diamond Dogs (YES I DID FLIP MY LID AT TRENT GETTING INDUCTED, DON'T WORRY, woof indeed) were telling him he was jumping to conclusions. On the other hand, the private detective thing was... what? Like aside from being straight-up unforgivable if Michelle ever found out about it, what exactly would a PI do in this situation? How is a PI supposed to find out if Jake is gonna propose??? Just incredibly weird.

On the other other hand, it allowed Rebecca to do something she's really good at: offering advice, based on having previously done it the wrong way. The (multiple! Tedbecca nation rejoice!) conversations between her and Ted were just lovely (although I did love her "aaaaren't you supposed to be like, doing your job?" moment when he came into her office) and the point about how Ted needs to buy a fucking ladder and GET OVER IT wrt Michelle was one Ted desperately needed to hear, even though he clearly didn't actually listen, given the way he behaved with Michelle in that last scene. And that last scene — I dunno man. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

In short: I like Michelle a lot, but frankly she deserves better than the guy Ted's turning into, and if the show actually puts them back together then what the fuck was this show even about.

Nate and the Rhinestone Dogs

So on the one hand, the correlation between Nate having a successful relationship and Nate coming back somewhat (and somewhat erratically, hmm) from his prime dickish behavior isn't a great look — this show really leans on the "all a man needs is the Love Of A Good Woman" and it's gross. On the other hand, I don't think that Jade is a cause of this so much as a witness to it; the moment where she notices his smile when he's looking at that picture of Ted and Henry and Beard, for example.

Also yes, I have turned around 180 on Jade — the first two episodes she was in, her character was written HORRIBLY, and everyone (including me!) who read her character as racist was absolutely right to do so. However, the show itself clearly didn't intend that, so I'm going to roll with it and focus on how she acts with Nate now — and guys, it's pretty fucking cute. I think my favorite thing about her is that she's still very much the same: she thinks he's weird! She notices details about him and has a very flat reaction! But she likes who he is, likes being around him; I love the detail that she said yes to every (hesitant, worried, still-unsure) suggestion Nate made for further hangouts. Staying over? Yes. Going out for breakfast? Sure. Another breakfast date? 👍 (Sidenote: as a fellow white lady who uses the yellow skintone, I was hilarified that Jade is also a white lady who uses the yellow skin tone.) She comes over to his house and brings him wine; she wants to celebrate with him, even though she clearly gives zero shits about football. And the moment where she agrees to the boyfriend/girlfriend monikers was adorable. I confess, they got me.

The not-quite-diamond-dogs scene was straight out of something Mohammed would write for Intelligence (his other show — btw, Mohammed is the writer and star of a whole other TV show about an American in Britain) and I watched the whole exchange with Rupert's assistant cringing with embarrassment, but the fact that Nate is trying to forge the family-style camaraderie he had in Richmond is simultaneously hilarious and heartbreaking. I think the thing Nate is missing is that the Diamond Dogs are built out of mutual trust and respect; but he neither trusts nor respects any of his chosen pack at West Ham (I don't think he respects Rupert, really — fears him sure, but respect? no). Which is just as well, because these guys are useless.

The whole bit with Ted, Henry and Beard (in full Richmond regalia — I love you Beard) attending the game was honestly lovely; Henry clearly adores Nate (I want all the fics about Henry and Nate doing the same game Henry and Will did, and Henry being the one to teach it to Will). The choice Ted and Michelle have made not to tell Henry about Nate's role in Ted's public humiliation is a good one, from a parental POV, but also an interesting one from a drama POV; Ted doesn't want Henry to hate Nate, which he absolutely would if he knew. And those decisions parents make for their kids — are they the right ones? I don't know! But parenting is complicated. ANYWAY, Nate's reaction both in that moment — just incredible acting from Mohammed btw, he's so GOOD — and afterward, when he's trying desperately to put the wall up of cruel indifference after Henry's smashed it down, the whole thing just ruined me. I muttered "oh, Nate" like five times during this episode.

Keeley should have Jack, Roy and Jamie be her pallbearers when she dies, so they can let her down ONE MORE TIME

I hated everything about Keeley's storyline, because again it was traumatizing a character for the purpose of showing how other people react to her trauma — Jamie, Roy, Jack — rather than letting her be the focus. I've seen others note how passive she is in this episode, and while I think it was more holding her own ground rather than being frozen in fear, the line was a little too blurry for my taste.

I did love her retail therapy (and yes the hat/dress/polo combo was absolutely a nod to Pretty Woman, which... equating Keeley to a prostitute in the context of this storyline ain't great, but the dress was adorable) and her staunch refusal to feel shame or regret for making a sex vid for Jamie back when they were together. Because she's right — there's absolutely nothing that she did wrong, and Jack's insistence that she be embarrassed over it was the death knell for their relationship.

Re Jack: I thought it was a good character choice for her to be angry at Keeley, because as the mini-golf scene illustrates, Jack doesn't really want to admit that Keeley is her girlfriend right now. The reason is, I think, open to interpretation, but my read on it wasn't that Jack is closeted — it's that she is incredibly sensitive to her own social status, which was already imperiled by dating a former "Page 3 girl" and is now at even more risk if people know about Keeley's video. (I know Keeley Hazell was the co-writer for this episode, and I can only imagine her experience with people who have considered her hot enough to fuck but not good enough to date.) So the only way for Jack to save face is to force her girlfriend into a Repentant Sinner box, someone who had done terrible (read: sexual) things but is really truly sorry and will never do such nasty things again. Which isn't who Keeley is! She likes sex and she likes being sexy; and like she said, there's a world of difference between putting your own image out there deliberately and having private things stolen from you.

The scene between Keeley and Roy was awful, and I hated him for asking her such a shitty, invasive question — even with his visible regret and self-loathing immediately after, that is one of those things you don't come back from without a LOT of work. And no, I don't think it makes it "better" that he clearly suspected the video had been for Jamie back when they were dating — if anything, it makes it worse, since a) if he really needed the information, he could've asked Jamie and b) WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR DEAL, DUDE. This season has shown Roy to be much crueler than previously, and I don't like the notion that just as Keeley made him "better," her absence has made him "worse." As I said, this show is bad about making women responsible for the shortcomings of the men in their lives and I'm sick of it. If they do decide to go for a throuple, I hope Keeley makes Roy sweat.

The scene between Keeley and Jamie was much better, although unlike Keeley I do think Jamie should've thought to delete the emails. But she's right in that it wasn't his fault; his guilt is appropriate but not borne out of any actual malicious wrongdoing, which matters! And I found Jamie's thought process around him and Keeley and Roy to be FASCINATING; it makes sense, really, that he thought maybe he had a chance with Keeley post breakup (lol honey no), though I don't think it was their hookup in episode 1.08 that made him think that. Rather, he knows Keeley's a forgiving and openhearted person, and that she "saw the best version of himself" when no one else did, so he hoped that he could one day get that back. The moment in episode 1.10 when Roy opens Keeley's door does hit a little harder now though, since that must've been when Jamie a) realized they were together and b) first thought they were just doing it to get back at him. I don't feel sorry for Jamie, but I do feel for him.

However, the best scene was between Keeley and Rebecca, the only person who really deserves her (KeeleyBecca nation rejoice!) because she actually offered comfort and advice and support, rather than apologies or demands or jealousy. I thought their whole conversation was great, and perfectly fit both their characters — including the brief, horrifying comment about Keeley's predator teacher, because yes that's awful, but Keeley isn't the sort of person who traumadumps for sympathy. So Rebecca's somewhat blithe response rang very true to me as like, an actual conversation I'd have with my friends, vs the Ideal Modeling Behavior a lot of fandom expects characters to parrot. (This gets into a whole essay I want to write about the difference between things characters say 'in public' vs 'in private' and how a lot of times we as an audience don't think there should be any difference, even though in the real world of course you recognize that there's a difference.) Anyway, they should get married.

Oh my god this post is already longer than all the dicks Colin had to delete off his phone

The himbo conversation was absolutely amazing, including the intro where Jamie is their Lynx/Axe dealer. Love that beautiful dumdum. I don't think it's in any way realistic that a bunch of footballers would delete the pics of all the people they've slept with, but this is LassoLand where Santa is real and I was incredibly charmed by it. And I think it lead pretty naturally to the moment with Isaac and Colin — even up to Isaac grabbing Colin's phone, because again, the way you behave in public is different than the way you behave with friends (although you look me in the eye and tell me Isaac McAdoo wouldn't grab your phone if he thought you were being an asshole). Bokinni and Harris sold the shit out of that scene, but this is now the second time Colin's sexuality has been used as a cliffhanger of "will someone else hurt this marginalized person?? STAY TUNED!!!" and frankly I expected way better from Dylan Marron, the other co-writer of this episode.

I'm sure there's more I'm forgetting — I've only watched the episode once — but I'm gonna post this now before it gets any more embarrassingly long. What a weird episode. It felt like those candyfloss grapes: I'm not sure if I like them, but I did eat the whole bag.

#believe mothereffers #not putting this in the tag #because nobody really NEEDS this

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