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#ive been scratching my head trying to figure something out
lambs4slaughter · 6 months
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women lovers... i need your help...
how do you imagine alex to look like...
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myuroll · 2 months
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balding buddies — gojo x fem!reader summary: satoru messes up megumi’s hair and tries (and fails) to hide it from you! fluff, crack, teenage/highschool!gojo, you guys are dating, reader is referred to as mom/seen as a mother figure
stop ik ive literally only written for gojo BUT I'M MAKING A LDS ZAYNE ONE AND CHOSO !! idk which comes first but theyre on the way trust !! (。•̀ᴗ-)✧
wc: 1.5k
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"oh. fuck."
"what did you do?" the little boy asked, his voice tinged with concern, as he reached his hand to the back of his head. before he could touch it, satoru smacked his hand back down.
"nothing! it's okay! it's totally okay…" satoru said, giving an unconvincing smile to the boy through the mirror as he placed the shaver on the bathroom counter.
"then why did you curse?" megumi asked, turning around to look at satoru and making another attempt to reach the back of his head.
"that's a very good question, megumi! but you know, sometimes you just keep those questions in that big head of yours!" satoru replied, reaching to grab megumi's wrists and holding them together.
megumi tilted his head slightly to get a glimpse of the back of his head through the mirror. when he saw the bald spot, his jaw dropped in disbelief. as if he had stumbled upon a tiny desert in the middle of a lush green forest.
"what the hell did you do!? i'm in 1st grade! people are gonna think i'm balding like you!!" megumi rambled on, while satoru scratched the back of his head and let go of the six-year-old's hands.
"hey! i am not balding!" satoru protested, emphasizing his words as he reached to feel his head. "and it's not that big of a deal. you can just say all your hair is still growing in!" he continued.
with his hands on the back of his head, feeling the bare skin, megumi stared up at satoru with a shocked expression, lost for words. his face twisted in a mix of confusion and shock.
"see! it's such a good idea that i've left you speechless!" satoru beamed, his smile stretching from ear to ear, and playfully bopped megumi's nose, causing the boy to scrunch up his face in response. "now, how do we hide this from mom?" satoru pondered aloud, turning to look outside the bathroom, searching for something to hide this.
"we? nuh uh! i'm telling on you," megumi declared, shaking his head from side to side.
satoru immediately spun around, his jaw dropping to the floor.
"what? what do you mean!? i’ve been so kind and gracious! i have helped you out too, don’t i should get the same treatment in return! just this once! help me outtt!!! '' satoru exclaimed, speaking quickly and spewing out any excuse that came to mind.
rolling his eyes at satoru's desperate babbling, megumi pushed past him and made his way out of the bathroom and into the attached bedroom. satoru followed closely behind, rambling on and on about how he should help him fix the situation.
just as they reached the bedroom, they heard the front door open, causing satoru to freeze in panic.
"satoru! megumi! i'm home!" your sweet voice echoed through the entryway, its melodic tones filling the air with warmth and affection.
megumi felt a small smile form on his lips as he turned around, wearing a smug expression in anticipation of satoru's impending demise.
"hey, hey, hey!" satoru blurted out, panickingly squatting down to megumi's level and gripping his shoulders with desperation. "i'll get you anything! anything you want, just name it and it's yours! please, help me!"
"anything?" megumi replied, his voice tinged with delight.
"anything!" satoru instantly agreed as he shook his head up and down rapidly.
"i'll think about what i want, but i'll help you or whatever. deal?" megumi responded, unable to hide his joy.
"deal!" satoru happily exclaimed. "now, because she's already here, do not leave my side. i'll hide your bald spot!" satoru explained, his tone serious.
as they both walked into the living room to greet you, satoru hovered weirdly over megumi, desperately trying to shield the crime. you were hanging up your coat on a nearby rack when you turned around and beamed at the sight of the boys.
squatting down to greet megumi, you wrapped an arm around his torso and the other on the back of his head.
the back of his head.
the back of his head usually had black flowing locks, but now… now it was as if a barren wasteland stood in the far left side of his head. you continued to feel the area, feeling the small prickles of tiny hairs. clearly a bad job of shaving.
you pulled back, looking at megumi with a perplexed expression, while he straed right back at you with a scowl as he side-eyed satoru. then your gaze shifted to satoru, who immediately stared up at the ceiling, pretending not to feel your stare fixated on him.
"megumi… can you turn around?" you asked, your voice laced with worry. you could sense satoru's body tensing up and notice his fingers fidgeting nervously.
megumi turned his body so that his back faced you, and as your eyes laid upon the tennis ball-sized bald spot, a gasp escaped your lips. instantly standing up, you shot a disapproving look at satoru.
"what happened!? i told you we should've just gone to a barber!" you exclaimed, the frustration evident in your voice.
"that was an option? and you let this freak do it instead?" megumi retorted, scowling at satoru.
"what did i say about calling people names?" you interjected sternly, your gaze shifting from satoru to megumi.
"sorry…" megumi mumbled quietly, still wearing a scowl on his face.
"hey! it's not even that bad! i did a good job at the front, no one looks at the back anyway," satoru defended himself, attempting to salvage the situation.
"not if you have a bald spot!" megumi shot back, his glare fixed on the white-haired man.
sighing, you ignored satoru's feeble attempts to justify his actions and extended your hand to megumi. leading him back to the bathroom, satoru followed closely behind, his head low and a pout on his face, fully aware of your disappointment.
to satoru, the silent treatment was far worse than getting yelled at. at least with yelling, he would receive some sort of attention! but the dreaded…silence treatment!? how would he ever survive such a thing?
upon reaching the bathroom, you retrieved the shaver from the counter, contemplating your next move. satoru timidly placed his head on your shoulder, hoping to break through the wall of silence, but you barely acknowledge his presence.
"baby, i think you have to go bald," satoru suggested cheekily, hoping to elicit a response.
you looked at him unimpressed. "satoru! imagine if that happened to you!?" you retorted, crossing your arms and looking at him with furrowed eyebrows.
"i mean, i would rock it! my handsome face is all that matters, outshines all the other outstanding features," satoru boasted.
both you and megumi rolled your eyes in unison at satoru's egocentric comments. it was like he was trying to piss you off.
"you're going bald," you stated matter-of-factly, your tone devoid of any emotion as you brought the shaver closer to satoru.
megumi couldn't help but let out a small giggle, while satoru's face drained of color upon hearing your words.
"i-i didn't make him go bald! it was just an oopsie! i swear! this was hypothetical too! tell her megumi!" satoru rambled nervously, taking a few steps back with a forced smile and looked to megumi for help.
"i'll make it a reality," you replied, as you pulled him back into the bathroom and switched on the buzzer, the loud buzz filling the room.
“hmmm? does anyone hear something?” megumi said, cheekily as put his hand behind his right ear teasingly.
bzzz
soon the bathroom light cast a beautiful glow on satoru's pale head..
"so, about that deal of ours…" megumi asked, a smug expression adorning his face.
“shut up.”
──────────── extra:
"now, how do we hide my bald spot?" megumi fretted, his hand anxiously exploring his bald spot.
you pondered the predicament, as you reached out and gently tilted megumi's head down, examining the size and shape of the bald spot.
"maybe if you just drench your hair in water, and just keep your hair like that until it grows back you can hide it better?" you suggested, your tone laced with curiosity.
before long, megumi found himself with his head lowered, positioned under the showerhead as water cascaded down, drenching his hair. as he raised his head to meet your gaze, you and satoru froze simultaneously. 
in that moment, a chilling flashback to a certain man with jet-black hair and a distinctive scar by his lip swept over both of you.
"NO!" satoru erupted, his voice piercing the air.
"do not do that! do not do that! do not do that!" he repeated in a frenzy, his words echoing with a mixture of fear and sheer panic.
perplexed by the sudden outburst, megumi stood there, his expression a mix of confusion and bewilderment.
“let’s just wear a hat…” you said in a quiet tone.
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epiicaricacy-arts · 4 months
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oh we’re still so young, desperate for attention
this was super experimental so i will talk about my process (+ clearer version) under the cut
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i’ve been looking at a lot of “messier” or more textured painting styles recently and an artist that stuck out to me is clariondeluna ! they posted a self-portrait recently that i really liked and i was super interested in the brushwork seen in their work. i love all the textures and how the shapes feel so loose yet everything is so detailed.
that’s not a method for me at all!!!! i cannot paint like that at all and the stuff i like to paint is very different to theirs. which is okay!!!! i had no intention to copy this artists style so closely like with what i tried to do in my raiden painting, i just wanted to try this style out :^)
it’s been a goal of mine to avoid over-rendering like i tend to do a lot, and i think i’ve been doing good with that recently! the mindset i’ve got going on right now is that if i find myself staring at it too hard for too long, i have to leave it and move on. if there’s still something wrong with it, i can fix it later once ive got a fresh view!
i’ve been trying a lot of things with my art this year. i always try to challenge myself with each piece, and to end the year off i wanted to be as uncomfortable as i possibly could be with this painting. i let myself draw whatever i wanted because i still wanted to enjoy it, but everything i did in this process was new, including parts of the subject matter.
i’ve never drawn a head at an angle like this, and i struggle with drawing mouths open. i don’t do bold lighting like this, and if i do, it’s not fire. i’ve never drawn fire! i also rarely work with warm colours and i hate using green, so i combined those to be my colour palette. i like working cleanly so instead of having a dozen different layers for one section, each section only had 1-2 layers for rendering. instead of clipping masks i would simply paint over things loosely and clean it up later. i never like having limbs cut off in a drawing so i had his other arm go GOD knows where. i don’t like weird patterned backgrounds so i made myself figure out how to like it!
IS THIS MY FAVOURITE PIECE OF ALL TIME. no. absolutely not. but i’m very proud of how this came out with all the challenges i put on myself. i WANTED to get better at these things and be more broad with my art, both in terms of the styles and subjects i portray.
okay let’s talk about wtf this drawing is
for those who don’t know, the design in this painting is my fatui/“Father” lyney fan design (read the design post here). the concept isnt super complicated and i don’t really have much explanation for it, but i wanted to combine the story of how lyney wanted a delusion before getting his vision, fire eating circus acts and how olympic medalists will bite their medal to prove it’s real??? don’t quote me on that i’m like 75% sure that’s a thing that happens. i don’t watch sports though so im just believing someone i heard on the internet ages ago.
anyways. i think fire eating acts are cool. and i think the fact that lyney wanted a delusion is very interesting to me. scratches my brain in the right places. and yk as a magician lyneys character revolves a lot around fooling people and creating illusions so i guess what im saying here is that lyney is trying to prove to himself that this power he’s been bestowed is real. bc his whole life his only constant has been lynette so he is trying to see if he can trust this new power. cause i guess this is an alternate universe where lyney does eventually become “Father” but he never got his vision ??? idk im not making lore for this i just wanted to dress up this funny little guy.
ok i’m done
thanks for reading
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here’s my dog
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sokkigarden · 8 months
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dancing with our hands tied (part iv)
jamie tartt x female reader // nsfw 18+ // fwb
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masterlist // read on ao3
summary: an emotional spiral sends you to jamie's doorstep… again
word count: 3k
this chapter took it OUT of me but i actually think this might be my fav chapter so far?? eeeee excited to share w you guys :) thanks to @hopefulromances for challenging me to write and trade feedback last night! sometimes u just need a lil extra motivation 😩🫶
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“Hey, you’re friends with Jamie, right?”
You looked up from where you were sitting at your desk to find Zach in the doorway. You were startled by his appearance. 
After getting drinks last week, you’d gone back to his place and fell into bed. He was fun and flirty and you both had a good time, but once it was late, he asked if you needed a ride home. You’d left after calling a ride, trying not to overthink it. It was just the beginning after all.
But it had been a week since then. Zach had been keeping his distance at work and hadn’t been responding to your texts that much. You figured he was busy with the new job, so you kept yourself busy as well. But that didn’t resolve the sinking feeling in your gut.
And now Zach was standing in front of you. Asking about Jamie Tartt of all things.
“Huh?” You knew you sounded dumb but you weren’t sure why Zach was asking if you were friends with Jamie.
“Did I do something to upset him?”
“What?” you sputtered. “Um, I don’t think so.”
Despite your confusion, you had also noticed Jamie’s coldness toward the new nutritionist. Richmond had a big facility and a lot of people employed, but after Ted Lasso brought his camaraderie and positivity to the entire club, it was easy to see when someone was being off-putting. 
Since last week, you hadn’t spoken to Jamie outside of your scheduled physio treatments. You weren’t typically alone during your appointments, and it was always after his ludicrous amount of training which left him tired, so you hadn’t had the chance to talk to him much.
“Maybe you’re reading too much into things?” you suggested. “He’s always been kinda rocky– you’ve heard the stories.”
You didn’t mention that those stories were from more than two years ago. You didn’t mention that he had been much better in recent months. 
“Maybe….” Zach replied, scratching the back of his head. 
You clearly didn’t have the answer he wanted, and the room fell into silence. You looked back at the work you had open on your computer screen, before taking a deep breath and being brave.
“Hey, so I had a fun time last week,” you started with a smile. “Would you, maybe, want to go out again?”
Zach suddenly looked like he wanted to be anywhere but in the treatment room with you. You tried not to let the feeling in your gut sink even further, but you could feel the smile falling off your face.
“Oh, um, I’m gonna be busy for the next few weeks, so….” he trailed off.
You pressed your lips into a firm line, nodding once. You didn’t need to hear anything else; he was clearly not interested in pursuing you further. 
The insecurities that had lingered for a week resurfaced from the corners of your mind. You’d gotten your hopes up again, and he clearly wasn’t on the same page. It was fine. You were getting the brush off. Nothing you hadn’t experienced before.
You just wished you’d known this wasn’t going to be anything when you went into it. It had taken time, with each heartbreak, but you thought you had built up walls to prevent yourself from getting hurt again. 
“Okay, yeah,” you said, “Don’t worry about it.”
Zach gave you a smile that looked more like a grimace before leaving you alone.
How had everything gone to such shit?
There’s a reason you’d made it clear with Jamie that your relationship was just sex. If it was explicitly just sex, then you wouldn’t let yourself form an emotional attachment. No point in letting your brain drift into romantic feelings. It never worked out anyways.
Thinking of Jamie brought you back to the first thing Zach said. Was there a reason Jamie was being a dick to him? You hadn’t seen them interact much other than at the bar last week. While you had wanted to bite Jamie’s head off at first, by the time you had a chance to say something, he had left. There was a lot left unsaid.
And if here was anything that would get your mind off things, it would be bickering with Jamie. 
You checked your watch, realizing most of the players were gone by this time of evening. You finished up the report you were working on. It was probably time for you to head home too. 
And maybe you’d pay Jamie a visit on the way home, too.
༻✧✧✧༺
Not even twenty minutes later, you were knocking on Jamie’s door unannounced. You hadn’t been there since last week, but there were no cars except his parked outside, so you assumed he was the only one home. 
When he opened the door, he seemed surprised to see you, his face going through about half a dozen different expressions before settling on raising his eyebrow in question.
“Stop being a dick to Zach,” you said in lieu of greeting, walking into his home. 
Jamie shut the door and pursed his lips. He clearly hadn’t expected to be instantly berated, but it was easier to act mad at Jamie than deal with being upset with yourself.
“Aren’t I a dick to everyone?” he asked.
“No, you aren’t,” you rolled your eyes, and said in a smaller voice, “Not anymore.”
You crossed your arms. “But you are acting like an asshole to Zach. Everyone sees it.”
Jamie scoffed, shaking his head. 
“Sorry,” he said, with a defeated tone, “You can tell your boyfriend I didn’t mean anything by it.”
Now it was your turn to sound defeated, “He’s not my boyfriend.”
Jamie’s face perked up at that.
“Oh yeah? Thought you two were gettin’ cozy. Gettin’ drinks at Bones and Honey.” 
If it was anyone else, you’d think he sounded jealous, but there was no reason for Jamie to be jealous over you. He was just poking your open wound at this point.
You huffed out a breath of air, letting your arms fall to their sides. 
“He brushed me off,” you said, “If we didn’t work together, he probably would’ve ghosted me by now.”
All the frustration from the past few hours, the past few days, the past week, felt like it was bubbling to the surface. It wasn’t even like this was a new thing. You were just tired of the same thing always happening. Even when you tried to protect yourself, you still ended up getting hurt.
You were so focused on blinking rapidly to dispel the tears in your eyes that you didn’t notice Jamie wrapping you in a tight hug. You stood frozen for a moment, before wrapping your arms around his torso and nuzzling your face into his shoulder. 
The hug was so tight and warm and surprising, but it made you feel the best you’d felt in weeks, months. You didn’t even realize you were fully crying until you moved slightly and felt the wet patch of fabric on his shoulder. 
You pulled away a bit and tried taking some deep breaths, while Jamie brushed his fingers through your hair. As soon as he whispered your name, you pulled back further, still enveloped in his arms. 
“Sorry, sorry, I know this isn’t what we normally do,” you said. Your relationship consisted of arguments and sex, not tears and warm hugs. 
He shook his head, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. “What’s wrong?” 
The tender tone, the soft look in his eyes, the delicate physical contact, made you start crying all over again. He gently led the two of you over to the couch, sitting down with you in his lap. 
“I just–” you sniffled, and it all came spilling out. “I just don't know what I'm doing ever. Everything I do seems wrong. I try to go after the things I want and it's never enough. I give too much, and yet not enough, and- and it's all shit.” 
Jamie’s brows furrowed together as you stared at his face. You focused on the line of his jaw and the grooves of his nose instead of his eyes. You didn’t want to meet his eyes. His hand gently grasped your chin to direct your gaze.
“You’re okay,” he murmured, as you held eye contact. “Things are hard, but they’ve always been hard, and you’ve made it through. You deserve good things. You’ll get them. You have them.” 
Those words were tender and sweet and all you wanted to hear, but a part of you refused to let yourself believe them.
“Yeah, okay,” you rolled your eyes lightly. “I guess.”
He let out a huff of frustration, before rearranging you to straddle his thighs. His arms squeezed your shoulders, but not in a domineering way; it felt soft, comforting. 
His hands were warm as they ran across your skin to your cheeks, holding your face to keep your eyes connected. He wiped the tears from your cheeks. His face held a hundred emotions and you weren’t sure what to make of any of it. 
“You have me,” he said.
You took a sharp intake of breath at his words. The words burned into your mind.
It was true. You did have Jamie. And he had you. In some sort of way. And for now, it would be enough.
He placed a soft kiss to your forehead, and then to both of your cheeks, lingering so close you could feel his exhales and swore you could hear your heartbeats in the space between. 
Then, he seized your mouth in a kiss, and it was like no other kiss you’d shared with him. While others were passionate and full of angry emotions, this was full of something raw, something untethered to your pre-existing idea of Jamie.
As you explored each other's mouths, you found yourself grinding against his lap, letting a moan out as you felt overcome with emotion. His hands ran through your hair, and you flexed your fingers under the fabric of his shirt, feeling the expanse of warm skin on his stomach. 
You tugged his shirt over his head, which broke the kiss, but you took the moment to take a breath. He kissed your cheek, your jaw, your neck, as he moved to remove your shirt as well. 
“Fuck, angel,” he said, and it felt like you were seeing each other for the first time.
It didn’t take long to remove more clothes, explore more of each other, before you finally sat down, feeling his dick slide into you. 
For a brief minute, you were frozen, breathing in each other’s air, staring at each other, taking in the moment. Then, he’s rocking into you and you’re meeting his thrusts, but it's slow, it's choppy in a heavenly way that you didn’t realize could exist between the two of you. 
“This feel good, yeah?” he asked, and you replied with a whimper of an affirmation. “Tell me this dick makes you feel good.”
“It does,” you managed to say, “You make me feel…”
He moved his hips in a way that made you see stars, leaving the last of your sentence unfinished. You scraped your nails through his hair, hearing something like a growl at the back of his throat. The sound spurred you on, rocking your hips with more determination.
“That’s it, baby, that’s a good girl,” he panted, reaching to connect your lips once more. 
You wanted to swallow him whole, wanted this moment to never end. His words were hot, but also flooded you with a different kind of warmth. You wondered if he even knew what he was saying. 
He tore his lips away after a moment and while you tried to gasp for breath, his next words made you nearly come on the spot.
“My good girl,” he whispered across your ear, before gripping your hips and focusing on where the two of you were connected.
The possessiveness in his voice tracked fire through your veins. 
You were close. You had to be. Despite how much you wanted to make this last forever, the heightened emotions were making things too much. You were feeling everything so intensely. 
He knew you were close, as he said, “Hey, look at me.”
You caught his eyes, watching each other’s faces as you finally came. Your jaw hung open, gripping his shoulders. You clenched around him as you rode out your high, and he came soon after. 
You sat there for a few moments, listening to your breathing and heartbeats mixing together. 
His hands drifted across your back in lazy motions as you nuzzled your cheek into the crook between his shoulder and neck. Jamie’s heartbeat was in his throat, his pulse racing. You could barely process everything you were feeling. What must he be feeling?
You had definitely calmed down after your spiral earlier this evening. Being with Jamie seemed to make everything else melt away. 
He readjusted you on his lap and pulled up his underwear. He grabbed his shirt from earlier and slipped it over your head. He cleared his throat, but didn’t fully pull away from you.
“I know you usually leave but,” he picked you up as he stood from the couch, “Not lettin’ you go home and spiral more. You’re staying tonight. Come on.”
He led you upstairs to his room, grabbing some new clothes from the dresser before guiding you into the bathroom. 
You didn’t do anything as you watched him turn on the shower and wait until the temperature was hot. It had been a while since you’d been in a shower with someone else, but you had a feeling this wasn’t going to be like those times. 
As soon as the shower was a good temperature, he stepped in, beckoning you to join him. He was offering without forcing you. You fought the smile creeping onto your face at his gentle expression. 
He guided you under the stream of water, combing his hands through your hair and lathering it with shampoo. The entire bathroom filled with the familiar smell of his hair products, and you felt a sense of satisfaction at knowing your own hair would smell like his soon. 
You took turns washing each other, nearly silent the entire time. It was an intimate act, and you found yourself clinging to Jamie maybe even more than earlier. 
You could feel the trails of tears across your cheeks from earlier wash away, but you could now barely remember why you’d been crying. Over some boy at work? You were all wrapped up in Jamie in the present moment. 
But this is what you’d been afraid of all along. This thing with Jamie was no longer just sex to you. And you’d known from the beginning, that if you let yourself fall for Jamie, it was over. He would ruin everyone else for you. 
What, with his silly outfits, and funny yet frustrating conversations, and the way he seemed to know your body even better than you did. 
You doubted this was anything else for him, you didn’t fit the profile of people he dated, you told yourself not to get your hopes up. You had shoved those feelings in a drawer at the back of your mind and hoped if you told yourself it was just sex, you wouldn’t fall for him.
But somewhere between the arguments and the sex, you held real conversations with him, confided in him, looked forward to seeing him each day.
Maybe it was already too late. The thought had your eyes welling up with more tears, but luckily you were facing the shower wall, as he rinsed the conditioner out of your hair. 
By the time the both of you were done, the tears had subsided, and you turned around to give him a watery smile. 
When you stepped out of the shower, Jamie wrapped you in a fluffy towel and your heart squeezed at the domesticity of it all. 
“Better?” he asked.
You nodded. You were feeling a lot better. Even if you were finally acknowledging the romantic feelings wedged deep inside of you. Even if those romantic feelings ended up being your downfall.
He grabbed the clothes he’d brought into the bathroom and divided them between you both. Two pairs of sweat shorts and two t-shirts. You knew you were going to drown in the fabric before you even put them on. You were proven right as he slid the shorts up your legs and tied off the drawstring to keep them up. You both chuckled at the sight.
After brushing your teeth, stealing some of Jamie’s skincare, and drying your hair, you didn’t have any objections as you both got into bed. He pulled you halfway across the mattress, to wrap his arms around you in the middle of the bed. 
“I’ve got training with Roy at four a.m., but I’ll be back before you wake up. Usually get back for breakfast around seven.” Jamie mumbled as he turned off the bedside lamp and wrapped his arms around you.
“Four in the morning?” you asked, “What are you going to do, bury a body?”
He chuckled, “Wouldn’t put it past Grandad, but no, we usually just go for a run.”
You shook your head at the absurdity. Even though you worked at the football facility, it was easy to forget that Jamie was a professional athlete when it was just the two of you, tucked away beneath his sheets.
As you felt yourself getting sleepy, you traced the tattoos across Jamie’s forearm in the faint light, feeling his breathing deepen as he drifted off to sleep. The lull of his exhales across your earlobe soon brought sleep to you as well.
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hi lovey 🫶 i was thinking about another lo’ak idea for a request and this is what i came up with! so as we know, the sully family had to learn sign language while living with the metkayina clan.. so i was thinking the reader would be metkayina and would take it upon themself to help teach them (at this time the sully’s know certain phrases) and lo’ak is drawn to the reader and asks for private lessons but in actuality he’s pretty good with signing so the reader is like “ur already pretty good but ig so 🤷” and in that lesson lo’ak kind of makes his feelings clear and asks to learn how to say something like “you’re ethereal” and once he learns, he signs it to the reader? idk i just love how you write lo’ak so i just thought of anything really 🤭
🦕
Teach Me
Tags: Lo'ak x Metkayina!Reader, Oneshot, Fem!Reader, Fluff, Private Tutor, Crush Blush, They’re Both Oblivious, Shy Reader
Warnings: None
You caught the eye of Jake Sully’s second son, and he has made it a point to try and woo you. When you try and teach his family the way your clan communicates underwater, he asks for private lessons, knowing full well he has already excelled in sign language far beyond his siblings. A few more lessons couldn’t hurt, right?
Your requests are always such a delight to see :) Lo’ak tryna finesse the reader into private tutoring sessions just to spend time with them is such a Lo’ak thing to do lol ALSO YOU’LL NOTICE THAT IVE TAKEN A LIKING TO ADDING A BONUS TO THESE
* ˚ ✦ 1453 Words • Read below the cut
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╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-╰┈➤ ❝ [05/01/23] ❞
Ever since the Sully family arrived at your doorstep seeking asylum, your father, Tonowari, had entrusted you with teaching the children your ways so that they were not entirely useless.
You did not appear to mind. When you locked eyes with Toruk Makto's youngest son, he captivated you. He was considerably different from your people, with golden eyes, darker skin, and even being a half dream walker! It was alluring, even if your brother didn't find Lo'ak's unique traits as attractive as you did.
You brushed your burgeoning feelings aside so you could do an excellent job of showing him your ways of life. Tsireya, your sister, had previously taught the Sullys about breathing techniques and diving, but you still stepped in whenever you could. You would've been more involved in the lessons if you weren't so timid around Lo'ak.
He figured you didn't like him as much as he liked you, which stung a little. However, that did not deter him. No, he was determined to get your love! (Little did he know.)
During one of your lessons with Tsireya and the Sullys, you were discussing how you employed sign language to communicate underwater. Of course, you were as far away from Lo'ak as possible to avoid becoming a blundering fool.
The Sullys certainly understood a few basic phrases, but you thought it would be incredibly beneficial in the long run if they knew it fluently because it could save their lives one day. You never know what sea creature you'll have to converse with!
By the end of the lesson, you were eager to get out of the water and rush home so you wouldn't have to interact with Lo'ak; you couldn't stop stuttering whenever you were near him! Eywa, on the other hand, had other plans for you.
Lo'ak softly tapped on your shoulder before you could depart, and you could already feel the tips of your ears burn from the contact. Lo'ak didn't notice, but that didn't matter because he was plotting something. One that he believed was brilliant.
He smiled at you. God, his smile was lethal. “Can I get more lessons with you? I need to work on my sign language a bit more.”
He scratched the nape of his neck shyly, clearly hoping for you to say yes.
You sighed, unable to say no when it’s him. “Okay, sure. We can do some private lessons aside from the main ones.”
Lo'ak cheered inside his head. What you didn't know was that he was already pretty proficient in sign language, and that his request for additional lessons was only a pretext to spend more time with you. Others called that manipulation, he called it chasing his dreams.
...
It was difficult for you to concentrate on teaching him at first. He was so attentive to everything you said that it made you feel so self-conscious! You'd take notice to the way he looked with his hair down, or how mesmerizing his eyes were every time you tried to teach him new terms. You could lose yourself in them for hours.
Snap out of it!
You'd think he was aware of the influence he had on you, because every time you'd lose concentration from gazing at him, he'd simply smile. Maybe your eyes were playing tricks on you, but you swore his cheeks reddened when you stared at him. What was he blushing about? He's the one who makes direct eye contact with you every time you speak!
...
You felt foolish. You were foolish.
After a few days, you realised Lo'ak had duped you into thinking he needed the extra support. In your opinion, his acting skills when feigning to not understand what a phrase meant were atrocious. When you confronted him with the fact that he was already pretty fluent, he sulked.
“I’m still not sure if I’m doing it right, though. Just a few more lessons, pleaase?”
He was going to be the death of you. “You’re already pretty good, but I guess it won’t hurt to help build your confidence more.”
Lo’ak grinned, but you could feel your palms getting sweaty at even the mere thought of having prolonged interactions with him.
...
Here you were, sitting on the beach with Lo’ak as he manipulated you into weeks worth of lessons with his stupidly gorgeous puppy dog eyes. Again.
You improved your interactions with him, this time concealing the effect he had on you. You shook your head, ignoring those wandering thoughts and concentrated on his lesson.
“Okay, show me something you’ve learned.”
Lo’ak beamed, and signed with his hands, “Y/N, I want you.”
Okay, you lied. You certainly did not grasp the capacity to conceal his effect on you. He had this smug look on his face once you registered what he had signed, while you fanned your heated cheeks, claiming it was simply the weather. You concluded he was having difficulty asking for something since 'I want you' sounded a little broken.
Yeah, that’s all there is to it.
You laughed nervously. “You definitely still need to work on your sign language. You didn’t even finish your phrase!”
Lo'ak grumbled. From your perspective , it appeared that he did so because he did not accurately sign what he meant to express. But really, Lo'ak was particularly annoyed because you didn't pick up on his blatant hint.
He recollected himself. “Okay, how about this. How do I say you’re ethereal?”
Compliments. That’s a new one. Nonetheless, you showed him how to sign it.
“You’re ethereal is a little bit hard though, so you’d need a bit of practice with the hand movements for that.”
Lo’ak nodded, very focused on the motions of your fingers.
...
You were disappointed to realise that this was your final private lesson with Lo'ak. You were standing near his marui, too indolent to enter the water. Lo'ak had finally mastered sign language, and you were overjoyed to know you were the reason for it. You requested him to show you some phrases right before you concluded your lesson to ensure he sounded like a true Metkayina.
“Okay. What’s something you’re confident you can say?”
Lo’ak was incredibly anxious. With shaky hands, he signed, “you’re ethereal, and I want you to be mine.”
If Eywa could read your thoughts, you wished she’d take a shovel and beat you six feet beneath the sand. Your cheeks were impossibly dark, and you knew what Lo’ak signed couldn’t have been a mistake. Not with those difficult hand movements.
Curse you for being so stupid. You chastised yourself in your mind for honestly thinking his sign language was broken weeks prior. His skills were perfect, you were just too oblivious to realize that he was saying that he wanted you!
Lo'ak sat there patiently, gazing at your immobilised form. His self-assurance was eroding as you sat there, unresponsive. You coughed sheepishly, your cheeks still blazing, before he could retract his statement.
“You’re ethereal too.”
He felt his entire body heat up. He was not expecting you to sign it back, and now you were both sitting there like startled morons, looking like you had been baking in the heat for hours. You were neither smooth nor subtle in your flirting.
“So you don’t hate me?”
That shook you out of your daze. “What?”
“It’s just that, before these lessons you avoided me all the time. I thought you didn’t like me back.”
Your jaw was on the floor. All shyness disappearing, you practically bellowing across the beach. “Since when? I’ve liked you for weeks!”
“Oh.”
Ensue silence.
Lo'ak had to conceal his visage due to the blush on his cheeks. He could try to hide his face from you, but he couldn't prevent his tail from swishing excitedly. You giggled at his reaction, but the embarrassment of how direct you were hit you a moment later.
You two exchanged glances before laughing at each other's expressions. Lo'ak inched closer to you, intending to plant a soft kiss against your heated cheeks.
You immediately swiveled your head to see what he was doing, and he kissed you on the lips by accident. Lo'ak felt like he was going to burst into flames, not intending to do that.
It was now your turn to bury your face in your palms, your heart practically bursting out of your chest. You couldn't believe what had just transpired!
Ah, young love.
Bonus!
“No. Fucking. Way.”
Jake screamed for his wife to come over. Neytiri ran quickly, abandoning her unfinished basket. Something terrible must’ve happened!
“What’s wrong?”
Jake wiped a tear away, dropping his binoculars. “Our son has finally become a man.”
Neytiri threw her basket at his head.
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crvptidgf · 18 days
Text
Bad Blood • pt. IV
Mattheo Riddle x Reader
➸ summary: After the Battle of Hogwarts, you find it difficult to let go of the past. Your trauma lies deeper than you think. When when you meet somebody who understands your pain, your journey of self-discovery and healing begins to set sail. For once, everything in your life seems to click.
➸ warnings/notes: reader is of romanian descent, afab! reader, mentions of trauma, descriptions of death and traumatic events, profanity, friends to lovers trope, hurt/comfort, eventual smut (18+), trauma bonding, eventual mutual pining, mentions of the golden trio being dicks for the sake of the story
A/N: this is kind of a filler chapter, sorry
word count: 1.6k
————————
WE ALL HAD a free period the next day. Somebody had decided it was a great idea to set off a stink bomb in the Transfiguration Corridor - which is where most people had their classes that morning.
Although most people would've probably thanked them for doing so, I, however, was not as pleased. Now that we had free time together, Enzo thought it would be a great opportunity to pester me about the Gryffindors. He had been asking me about it since dinner last night and it was getting hard to avoid his never-ending questions.
"Enzo, I told you it's not a big deal," I said as I sat in front of the crackling fire in the common room.
I turned my head to watch the flames dance about, entranced by it as it harshly kissed the wooden logs below it. I toyed with the metal fire poker, pulling it on and off it's hook on the wall.
"Come on!" responded Enzo, moving from the couch to sit next to me on the floor. "I know it's bothering you - you've barely spoken since dinner."
We were interrupted by boisterous laughter as Theo and Mattheo made their presence known. The couch made a soft plopping sound as they each took a seat. Mattheo placed his elbow on the arm rest, his legs spreading as he got comfortable against the cushions.
"What's bothering her?" he asked.
I huffed and looked back at the fire. Now it was especially hard to talk to Enzo considering the whole problem was that my friends hated Mattheo. I didn't have the heart to say that in front of him. Most of all, I didn't want him to think that I agreed with them - I had only begun to finally make new friends, it would be terrible if this impeded all our relationships.
Enzo groaned, throwing his head back. "That's what I'm trying to figure out. But she's being difficult."
"I'm not being difficult. There's just some things that you guys shouldn't have to hear," I replied.
At this, even Theo's interest was piqued. He uncrossed his arms and leaned forward onto his knees, playfully putting his chin in his hand as he tried to give me puppy-dog eyes. "Well know we have to know."
Something Enzo told me about Theo was that he absolutely loved gossip. It was unexpected, but I didn't know him well enough to agree or disagree. Yet I was now even more afraid of telling them than I was before; Theo already didn't like Harry and the rest, how would he react if he knew they thought poorly of his best friend?
Unfortunately, though, there was no going back. If Enzo seemed stubborn, Theo was worse. He would be a pain in my ass if I didn't tell him right that second, and I was already easily annoyed by him - I wouldn't be able to stand his nagging.
"If I tell you guys..." I paused, looking at each of them slowly, "you have to promise you won't get mad."
They all looked slightly unsure, making faces at each other and furrowing their brows. Theo leaned back against the pillow again, scratching his chin. He looked deep in thought before he merely nodded, mumbling an 'okay, sure'.
Mattheo held out his pinkie, smiling. "Pinkie promise, I won't get mad."
I rolled my eyes, but joined our pinkies together nonetheless. His eyes still held a tinge of confusion, but he nodded in encouragement as we let go of our fingers.
"Enzo?" I asked, turning my head towards him.
Cocking his head to the side, he put his hand atop mine and gave me a reassuring squeeze before pulling away again. "Of course I won't get mad."
Taking a deep breath, I turned my body to face them all equally. There was truly no reason for me to be so nervous, but I couldn't help it. I was afraid that Enzo would start to blame himself for the past again, that Theo would get mad, that Mattheo would feel betrayed. So much could go wrong.
"My friends don't think it's a good idea to be hanging out with you guys," I finally blurted out. "I obviously don't agree - I just... I'm pissed because I never thought they'd be so judgmental, y'know?"
It felt good to get that off my chest.
"I fucking knew it," scoffed Theo. His tongue darted out to wet his lips as he shifted his gaze out to the Black Lake, his eyes following the fish drifting through the water.
His head shook from side to side, his anger evident in his rigid movements.
Mattheo clasped his fingers together and leaned his elbows on his knees. His hands lay limp in between the gap of his knees as he sighed, spreading his legs yet again.
He gave Theo a look that I couldn't quite decipher.
"Relax, Nott."
"Dude, they've been dicks to us for years. All because what? They're too blind sighted by us being Slytherins to even think that we could actually be good people. I'm surprised they haven't cast you aside yet."
I swallowed thickly, playing with the threads of my robe awkwardly.
Even the two guys seemed surprised at Theo's outburst. I never knew he felt that way - I never even knew that my friends had been rude to them.
My heart dropped. What hurt the most was that they hated my house so much that they couldn't even give Slytherins a chance to prove themselves.
No.
Why did we have to prove ourselves? It wasn't fair. None of this was fair, and none of this made sense. How was I different than all the rest of my peers? How come they gave me a chance but not my housemates?
I felt weird all of a sudden. Something akin to betrayal. The Gryffindors never tried to make friends with people who were like me, and maybe that made me feel alienated over the years. Maybe that's why I never felt like I belonged. I had never been friends with somebody who understood what it was like for me during the War; what it was like having to watch my back not only for Death Eaters, but my own classmates and friends.
"Y/N," said Theo, interrupting my thoughts. "You deserve better friends. You know that, right?"
"Theo. That's enough," Mattheo reprimanded.
My throat felt like it had closed up, my swallows becoming less and less frequent. I didn't know what to say. Why did I have to tell them? Why did I think they would take it well?
"I'm sorry."
It was all I could think of. What can you really say to somebody who has been unfairly judged all their life? Only to find out that their new acquaintance is friends with the people who did all the judging.
Enzo's arm wrapped around my shoulder, shaking me gently. "Nothing to be sorry about, babe."
"You know I don't believe them, right?" I said, my eyes subconsciously finding Mattheo's.
He gave me a tight-lipped smile, his eyes also finding mine instantly. "We know," he said. A strange look pooled in his eyes - he seemed almost sad, or perhaps disappointed. I wasn't sure. Whatever it was, he didn't give me enough time to figure it out as he shifted his stare somewhere else.
Had I just ruined my brand new friendships? Maybe I should have just kept the information to myself...
"I'm gonna get going. I have to meet Julia tonight," came his voice suddenly.
My heart sank as I heard this. I had known of his reputation, of course. I was aware that he slept around, had multiple short-lived relationships - I wasn't stupid. He was an attractive man, anybody would jump his bones given the chance. However the realization hit me harder than I expected.
Why did I even care?
I was snapped out of my trance as Mattheo came up to land a reassuring hand on my shoulder before leaving. "Don't overthink it, okay?"
And with that, he was gone.
His words echoed in my mind yet I couldn't help myself. I was overthinking it. How could I not? What was I supposed to do? - my two friend groups are practically butting heads right in front of me - and I have no idea how to handle it. I am certainly not about to choose sides, either.
Suddenly I felt someone's presence next to me on the floor. Looking to my left, I see Theo, his hands clasped together on his knees as he leaned his head onto the edge of the couch.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I shouldn't have yelled - fuck, it's just..." he sighed.
"I know you're a good person. Enzo talked about you a lot-" at this, Enzo cleared his throat, signaling Theo to stop talking, "-and your friends may be nice to you, but they've never had a problem treating other people - other Slytherins - like shit."
I nodded. I understood where he was coming from but it didn't make the realization any less harsh. They were my friends, what was I supposed to do?
"Yeah..." I said.
"Guys how about we just start fresh," Enzo started, "forget about all of this."
He turned to me, his legs sitting crossed on the floor. "You talk to your friends whenever you can. Maybe we can hang out. All of us-"
Theo groaned, throwing his head back.
"And-" Enzo continued, "-maybe they'll see that we're not so bad."
I nodded. Perhaps he was right. All they needed was a little nudge in the right direction to see that Slytherins weren't so bad - at least not all of them. I made it my mission then to make sure that I could unite all of my friends - and hopefully, just hopefully, I could finally be around people who understood me.
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obsidiancreates · 2 months
Text
The Fabric Of The Universe Is A Little Coarse (1 Out Of 5 Stars) [Part 2/2]
(Content warnings for seizure mentions, blood mentions, waiting in a hospital, hospital setting, Henry being an Ass even while worried sick because he literally can't help himself)
He’s drifting.
He? Maybe. Faintly, that feels right.
But so does Everything. 
All the cords.
Threads.
Events which Have Happened and Are Happening and Will Happen… it all feels right.
 He’s drifting among Everything, and it’s…
Nice.
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gus wonders if Shawn is going to die.
He rides in the ambulance and it’s a good thing they have bags for vomit because everything inside of him is trying to run away every time he looks at Shawn. The rolling, unseeing eyes– everything leaves. The uncontrollable spasming and writhing– everything leaves. The blood steadily trickling out of his ears and nose– everything leaves.
Shawn leaves. Left. Is leaving? Gus isn’t sure anymore. He’s not sure if Shawn is here. He is, but he isn’t, because Shawn is never so… so…
Shawn spasms again, his head lolling as his body jerks and his empty eyes land on Gus but they don’t see him. The blood coming from his nose coats the stubble on his lip as it changes course, and the blood from his ears pools on the cot, and he isn’t there.
Gus looks away too late.
Everything leaves. 
They make him lean his head back and close his eyes, and he feels the prick of an IV being inserted. Why are they bothering with him? He’s not the one seizing and bleeding and empty empty Shawn is never Empty he’s Full full of life full of bullcrap full of ego just Full-
It won’t stop playing over and over again in Gus’s head (Is that what it’s like for Shawn every day? It’s terrible, and Gus needs Shawn to know that, he needs to be able to tell him after all this that he’s sorry Shawn has to deal with constant replays and crisp memories and uncontrollable realizations because this is terrible) as he sits there. Just sits there, stuck in a memory being useless.
The way Shawn got that slightly distant, distracted look in his eye while the girl was talking. The way Shawn almost fell into the glass and didn’t even seem to realize he’d started swaying. The way his hands started spasming first, scratching at something Gus couldn’t see or feel. 
The way Shawn just collapsed, without a shout or scream or even a gasp. Just went from standing to going down. 
The way Shawn’s body went from limp to tense. His breathing becoming sharp gasps. His hands still scratching at nothing. 
The way when Gus turned him over and knelt down to cradle Shawn’s head in his lap Shawn’s eyes never met his once, rolling uselessly and disconnected in his skull and Shawn’s eyes don’t do that.
Shawn’s eyes are sharp, focused, not always on the right thing but they’re focused. They can get distant sometimes, when he’s figuring something out or remembering something strongly, but they’re never so completely empty.
And the scratching.
Gus had been calling his name, louder and louder every time Shawn didn’t respond, didn’t blink, didn’t react at all, and Shawn’s mouth had opened but instead of words it was painful gasping like a fish held out of water or an astronaut who lost his helmet or oh god anything absurd and unreal he wishes this wasn’t real. 
And all the time Shawn’s hands never stopped scratching. 
Not when the shaking started, not when the bleeding did, not even when–
“Don’t you dare leave me Shawn! I need you, I need you, I can’t imagine my life without you in it, don’t you dare leave me alone out here it’s supposed to be us against everything not just me–”
It’s lingering on the outskirts of Gus’s racing thoughts, waiting for a chance to slip in. Shawn read his mind. Shawn read his mind. Shawn read Juliet’s, too. Shawn looked into their heads.
It’s lingering, and he knows it’s there, but he can’t let that realization sink in yet. He can’t let it sink in because Shawn is dying and if he dies then what does it matter because Shawn won’t be here to talk about it with, talk about anything with, and Gus needs him here.
Gus needs him here.
“I need you here.”
Shawn seizes again.
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He’s not drifting so much anymore.
There’s a specific… something, calling to him. He’s drifting towards it, a gentle pull and push moving him its way. It feels unusual to let something direct him, but at the same time more familiar than anything else. Does that mean he’s a person, a place, and item? He’s Something– that’s interesting news. 
What is he?
Maybe when he gets wherever he’s going he’ll find out. Oh, that’s familiar too– finding things out. It’s exciting, even. He’d forgotten about Exciting. When drifting among Everything, knowing Everything, being Everything, it’s easy to lose Excitement. 
If only this push and pull would get him there a little quicker. Maybe he can speed it up. He will find a way to speed it up. 
There’s a hint.
He’s something that doesn’t give up.
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lassiter drives behind the ambulance. Juliet is shaking too much to do it herself.
“He’s going to be fine, O’Hara.” Her partner’s voice is strong and firm and unyielding as always, and she knows it’s not real this time. He’s doing it for her. She sees the white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel and the movement of his jaw as he grinds his teeth. She has to see it, she can’t look ahead at the ambulance where Shawn is possibly dying and she can’t look behind at where it happened and she can’t look out the windows at sights she’s not sure Shawn will ever see again.
So she looks at Lassiter. Shawn is an ocean, and Lassiter is a shoreline. Shawn throws himself against rocks and sands and trees, trying to pull them into his vast all-encompassing snare, but Lassiter is every single piece of the shoreline and more. Shawn can pull parts of Lassiter into the wild, uncontrollable seas, but he can never pull all of him, and whatever Shawn manages to snatch away will inevitably return to Lassiter sooner or later. They’re opposites and they’re the same, stubborn and determined and always there.
She needs that. She needs the fact that Lassiter is here. If he’s here, Shawn has to be too. Shawn has to be ready to rush in, pull her and her partner into something crazy and never-before-seen and utterly vexing, has to sweep her up in the tide for the time of her life and when the waves become too much for her she can cling to Lassiter for support and find her footing again, lay on the shoreline to catch her breath before the next swell.
Maybe she’s selling herself short– she’s gotten good at navigating both sides of it over the years, finding her own place in that dynamic that was already so present when she transferred to Santa Barbara. But right now she feels like she did in the beginning, unsteady and inexperienced and likely to drown, and she knows Lassiter is there and she can rely on him to help her find somewhere safe to rest until the storm has passed.
“Spencer is too stubborn to die in the middle of a case,” Lassiter grits out. “Especially if it’s not in some idiotic, dramatic way that belongs in a movie.”
He is. Shawn would never let himself die like this. Or would he? It’s is dramatic. Even if Lassiter claims it’s not. He’s doing that for her sake, too. She can’t pretend she believes that one.
She remembers hearing Gus scream Shawn’s name. Remembers the witness cutting herself off when she realized Shawn was still there. Remembers ignoring the witness’s cries of betrayal as she shot out of her chair because Gus sounded terrified and–
And freezing in the door, heart stopping, when she saw Shawn on the ground seizing. 
It was like a nightmare. 
Shawn’s face shouldn’t be slack and emotionless, Shawn’s eyes shouldn’t be unseeing and rolling, Shawn shouldn’t be–
And then Lassiter was calling for Buzz to call an ambulance behind her and she was moving and asking questions and trying to get Shawn to focus on her but she wasn’t, not really, she was focused on the spasming and the gasping and Shawn looking so unconnected to the world around him and she’d put a hand on his face and suddenly all of her thoughts were spilling out of his mouth and it made it too real, too real, too real–
They’re at the hospital.
She’s running out of the car and into the hospital. She’s explaining why she’s here. It’s all passing by in a blur. She’s sitting next to Lassiter, and he’s stiff and uncomfortable and exactly how she needs him to be right now, and then he puts an arm around her and pulls her into an awkward hug on the crappy waiting room chairs and she cries into his suit.
Gus is there when she pulls herself away. He looks on the outside like she feels on the inside. Shellshocked, confused, like he’s not sure where he is. She finds it in herself to stand up and coax him over beside her and Lassiter, and she holds him like Lassiter held her.
They’re there for maybe hours, maybe minutes, most likely somewhere in-between, when Henry shows up.
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He’s Somewhere. 
That’s a nice change of pace. He’s in one single area, one single point in time, one single event. 
He used to do this a lot, didn’t he? It feels Familiar. Linear, and Familiar.
Oh, he Existed at one point. That’s cool to know. He thought he Knew Everything, but apparently it’s hard to know Anything when you know Everything. 
An old-ish woman is holding a toddler and weaving a rug. He recognizes them, of course he does, he recognizes Everyone and Everything because he is Everyone and Everything. But he recognizes them… Differently.
“You need to make a good life, good choices, or else you won’t snap out of it.” The old-ish woman looks at the toddler and sighs. He’s asleep. “I hope you’ll…”
Her eyes glaze over. They travel to a point just behind him and fix on the wall.
… No.
They fix on Him.
“Oh,” she says softly. “Well… at least I know you do figure it out eventually. Oh, sweetheart, look at you…”
He can’t look at himself, because there’s not really anything there. Is there? Maybe there is. She’s looking at him. How is she doing that? What does he look like? He…
He should know that. He should know what he looks like.
“I wish I could help you, sweetheart. It’d be a heck of a use for all the experience I have with this exact thing.” The old-ish woman sighs. “But it doesn’t work that way. You’ll have to find your own way back. Good news is you’re in the right general… area, of sorts. Something– Someone, will be calling you back, if you took my advice. Find it. Find them.”
He wants to ask her what she means. He should Know what she means. Maybe he does, but staying here is making it hard to Know. It’s jumbling things up, trying to sort them into a linear line, and that’s not right but it is but it can’t be. 
It’s making everything all… screwy.
Her eyes refocus as a man who looks decades older than he actually is walks in. “Alright Mom, thanks for watching Shawn but Maddie and I can take him back now.”
She blinks, and then shakes her head. “Let me have a little longer with my grandson, Henry. He’s the only one I’ll ever get.”
“Mads and I might decide to have another one.”
“You know you won’t. And I know Jack won’t be having one either.”
“That’s probably for the best.”
“Mmm, I wish you weren’t right Henry.” She hands the toddler over, and then glances at the spot again for just a moment. “Goodbye, Shawn.”
He’s not There anymore.
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The silence has been broken only by sniffles and the crinkling of vending machine snack wrappers for a long time when Henry, head in his hands, hands which pull at the little hair he has left, looks up at the wall and says “This is my fault.”
Gus chokes on his Twinkie, because he has never heard those words from Henry Spencer’s mouth.
“His grandma had seizures.” Henry rubs his hand over his head, soothing the red spots where he pulled and picked. “She told us to watch out for them in him, said it skipped a generation with me and Jack. When Shawn didn’t have any as a kid or teen Mads and I just… thought it skipped him too.”
“You mean this could’ve happened any time?” Lassiter’s voice is carefully controlled, but that control frays and snaps with his next sentence. “He could’ve just collapsed in the middle of a case and you didn’t think we needed to know that?!”
“Shawn doesn’t even know! I didn’t want him using it as–!” Henry cuts himself off, snapping his mouth shut in a deep scowl.
“Using it as what, Henry?” Juliet’s voice is tight, eyes sharp, body language taught, her entire being the drawstring of a bow pulled back and ready to fire.
“... As an excuse to get out of responsibilities,” Henry admits in a sharp, short spit. Gus’s face twists into some mix of rage, disbelief, and complete unsurprise. Juliet stands, hands clenched by her sides, and Lassiter stands up right after in case he needs to break up an altercation. But he doesn’t move to hold her back yet.
“That is not okay, Henry. Not okay not to tell him, and especially not okay to assume the worst of him as a child!”
“You didn’t know him as a child!” Henry barks the defense on instinct, and has to hold his head again to reel himself back in. His voice is thick when he speaks again. “You think I’m not kicking myself over the decision now? I should’ve just told him, I didn’t even know what triggered Mom’s seizures, how did I think I’d know with him…”
“It’s just irresponsible.” Lassiter puts a hand on Juliet’s shoulder– not to stop her if she moves to swing, just to let her know he’s here. “What the hell else have you left out, Henry? Is your kid going to collapse of heart failure on us next?”
“His heart hasn’t had trouble since his surgery,” Henry mutters.
“Aw, what the hell– I was trying to be cutting! What do you mean Spencer had heart surgery?!”
“... He’s also got some trouble feeling pain.”
“Explain.” Juliet’s voice is cold. Gus looks like he might pop– either in self-destruction like a balloon too filled, or maybe like he’ll ‘pop’ Henry in the jaw to spare his own sanity.
“I dunno, he just doesn’t feel pain right, Maddie never told me the name of it. He feels it but not to the degree he should, or… something like that.”
“Holy crap.” Lassiter pinches the bridge of his nose. “Spencer, you realize this would all have been very valuable to know while he was out getting guns pointed at him every week for the last few years?! No wonder he doesn’t– the man ran through the woods with an untreated gunshot wound, for Cripe’s sake! He might not even know what counts as a ‘serious injury’ if he can’t feel pain right!”
Before Henry can say anything back, a doctor walks in. “Family of Shawn Spencer?”
Gus and Henry both stand– Gus makes sure to step closer to the doctor than Henry does.
“All of you?”
“Yes,” Juliet says quickly, and though he opens his mouth for a moment, Lassiter closes it again without protest.
“Well, I have good news. He’s stable, it looks like the worst of it has passed. He’s unconscious, and we’re waiting on the results of a few tests, but so far it’s looking like he’ll be okay. We’re letting visitors into his ro–”
Gus is rushing past her before the sentence is even over. Henry is on his tail, Juliet and Lassiter right behind.
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He’s drifting around a few specific lives.
His favorite is Burton Guster’s. Burton Guster is the coolest, awesomest, most incredible person in all of Everything, and he can say that for a fact. He hadn’t had favorites while he was Everything, but he’s a little smaller now, and Burton Guster is his Favorite. 
Juliet O’Hara and Carlton Lassiter are close, close seconds. They’re all very different from each other, but they’re all bound together by something he can’t quite pinpoint yet, and he’s glad because they’re all incredible. Everything is boring compared to them. He’d have them over Everything any day– day. 
Day by day. Living life day by day. 
He did that, didn’t he?
He has a Past. 
That’s interesting. He has a Past, so he must have a Future… and a Present.
Is that what the old-ish lady meant? He needs to find his Present? How did he even get taken out of it? He’s not dead– he doesn’t think he is, anyway. The Dead are different. He drifted among them a lot. They’re not what he is.
He follows along all their cords at once– there’s another one, just out of his reach, just out of range for Connection. 
And there’s another, a fifth cord, and it’s… Different.
It’s woven around them, the three favorites and the fourth he can’t quite connect to, all bound together by this strange cord with nothing on top. There’s nothing to follow. Nothing to look at the stitching of, the messy edges, the covered-up unsightly bits that make up a Life. 
There’s not even the neat little picture the messy stitching makes up for the other things on top to see. Just the cord, woven right in, tightly clinging to these other four.
He follows them. There’s something he’s missing. Something he needs to find. This is Familiar. He needs to find something. He always needs to find something. He does this all the time. What is he missing?
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
His hands are still scratching.
He’s completely still otherwise. But his hands are still scratching. Faster now, in fact. Faster, almost desperately. His eyes are closed. His ears have been cleaned up. There’s still blood in his stubble.
“How long would your mom be… asleep?” Juliet asks, watching Shawn’s twitching hands.
“It varied.” Henry can’t look at his son. He can’t look at his son’s friends. He can only look at the ground below his son’s hospital bed. “She only got this bad a few times in my life. Usually she just–” Henry rubs his face. “She just disconnected, and came back spouting nonsense. The only time I can remember her bleeding is just before Jack went to first grade. He asked me if we’d always be able to count on each other and I said yes. She collapsed on the spot.”
“And was she–”
“It took three days for her to wake up.”
The room is quiet again.
Shawn keeps scratching.
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There’s a cord he can’t find. A Life he can’t track down. Someone always around the three favorites and the fourth he can’t reach. 
The mystery Life and Cord should come to be next to the fourth unreachable one around the time of late teens or early twenties. It should come to be beside Burton Guster’s almost at the very beginning, woven away for a bit before coming back around. It should be by Juliet O’Hara’s and Carlton Lassiter’s around the same time it’s woven back beside the unreachable cord and Burton Gusters.
He can’t quite find it. It’s a person, a Life, but there’s nothing On Top. It’s someone unmissable, unless he wants to be. Someone loud, because he was told to be quiet for most of his life. Someone who hides in plain sight, because he can make everyone see whatever he wants them to see. Someone who can see Everything, and it’s too much but most of the time no-one can tell how Much it truly is.
He looks closer, closer. He follows the four cords as far as they’ll go, but it hurts to See the ends so close up. He likes them. He loves them. He doesn’t follow them to the ends entirely, when the bit on top will be woven into their cords and they’ll be a part of the weave itself instead of decorating it. He doesn’t want them to End. 
He goes back. He goes to their starts, and moves along slowly, and he begins to understand how Life moves.
Day by day, little by little, the Present mattering more than anything else. Each life is not just one big cord encompassing all of a Person, but a million little threads, each second making the threads that make up the whole. 
He hones in on the threads, each one so important– details. 
He knows Details. He’s the king of Details. Who is he?
He picks over the cords, scratching at the individual threads.
Bump.
Wait. There…
The Present.
The most important part.
They’re all four there. Sitting in a hospital room. Someone is on the bed. The Missing Cord.
“Shawn won’t take three days,” Burton Guster says. “He won’t be able to wait that long.”
“He’s not patient,” the unreachable cord agrees.
“Henry, tell us what we should expect when he does wake up.” Juliet O’Hara is holding back from screaming at the unreachable cord– Henry, apparently. 
He should know Everything. Does him not knowing how to reach the fourth mean he’s getting closer to where he needs to be, smaller to fit in what was once his Existence, singular enough to be a Life? Hopefully.
Henry sits back in his chair, the sound of his spine hitting the hard plastic echoing in the sterile room. “Look, Juliet, it’s not like I’m an expert in this. My mother died decades ago, and–and you know, even then I never really knew her well. She was always…” he waves a hand by his head. “... Somewhere else. She was worse than Shawn about it.”
“Maybe because of this?” Juliet gestures at the man– Shawn– in the bed. He’s unconscious. His cord is missing. He probably won’t wake up. 
That’s…
Upsetting.
“... Maybe.” Henry sighs and puts his face in his hands. “My mother… wasn’t… well. She thought–” He lets out a bitter laugh. “She thought, she was psychic.”
Something twangs. Thrums. It’s His cord, somewhere, the one he’s meant to be traveling along day by day, event by event, second by second– but where? Where?
“What?!” Burton Guster stands up. It’s distracting. It’s all he can focus on. “Shawn’s grandma was psychic and you just never felt a need to mention it?!”
“She wasn’t! Psychic!” Henry is barely holding himself together. He’s rage and indignation and regret stuffed inside a meat suit. “She was a sick woman who got everyone else to believe her… delusions! I made her stop claiming it when Jack was a kid so he wouldn’t–!” Henry huffs, clenching his jaw and looking away. “Well, fat lot of good it did in the end with him. The damage was done. I wasn’t going to let the same thing happen to Shawn.”
“This is ridiculous.” Carlton Lassiter is cleaning out his gun. He loves that gun, but he’s being a little rough with it. “Now you’re telling me Spencer’s the lastest in a long line of psychics? What, are we in one of his asinine 80’s movies?”
“He is not–!” Henry seems to catch himself differently this time. This time like he almost spilled a secret. What is the secret? Does not knowing mean Life is almost in reach? “He is not, the latest, in a long line. His grandmother wasn’t psychic.”
Burton Guster is having a crisis. He sits down heavily. He’s remembering things– the man on the bed collapsing and seizing and saying the thoughts in Burton Guster’s head. He’s remembering years and years of observations, mysteries, gut feelings from his friend that he’s reexamining and–
And those are Familiar.
He scratches the cord wrapped around the four. The one with nothing on top, no Life following it’s tracks.
On the bed, Shawn Spencer’s eyes flutter.
Oh. 
Oh. 
Oh, of course.
He scratches it again. 
Bump.
Shawn Spencer sucks in a breath. Everyone in the room looks at him with hesitant hope.
Bump.
Shawn Spencer’s eyes move under his lids. Everything is getting smaller. He doesn’t Know what he Knew before. He still Knows more than he should, but smaller, foggier, less readily available. It feels familiar. It feels right.
Bump.
He doesn’t know what the other people in the room think and feel anymore. He doesn’t know Everything. 
But he does know that his head hurts.
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shawn groans and turns his head to try and bury himself into the pillow. Everything aches. 
“Shawn!” Gus’s voice hurts his ears– they’re really tender, he realizes as feeling slowly comes back to his body. As he slowly comes back to his body, settling back into Life and Singularity. What a freaky experience… 
“Gus,” he groans. “Turn off the light.”
“Shawn, you–” Gus’s gushy proclamation of joy is cut off by a sob. “Oh my god, Shawn, you’re back.” He dives in for a hug, and Shawn coughs from the force he’s squeezed with. It’s nice, though. Being a formless, personality-less, wandering Nothing kind of seriously sucked. He’d way rather feel like absolute crap than feel like Nothing and not even know what he’s missing out on by being Something.
“I’m back, buddy,” Shawn rasps, patting Gus on the back and trying to open his eyes. He regrets it instantly, shutting them tight again. “Ah! Seriously, lights!”
They click off, and when Shawn cracks his eyes back open he just barely sees Lassie’s head over by where he remembers the lightswitch being from when he was Watching. His head pulses with pain when he remembers that. The whole experience is there, but blocked off, visible through a thick wall of mesh meant to keep out curious minds that’ll hurt themselves looking too closely. He groans and sinks back against the bed, for once deciding to respect a ‘No Entry’ warning. “Thanks, Lassieface.”
“I just didn't want you to whine about it.”
“You didn’t want me in pain. You love me.”
“I will turn them back on.”
“Carlton.”
“It’s okay Jules. Lassie’s sweet, yet also sour denial of his deep affection for me is exactly what I need after all that.”
“Kid.” Oh, there he is– the ‘unreachable cord’. As if he needed any more confirmation their relationship is absolutely screwed up. Henry steps into Shawn’s sight, expression a mess of emotions he’s trying not to have. “Listen, I–”
“Not now, Pop.” Shawn pats Gus’s back again, a silent signal to please let go before he passes out again, and Gus quickly pulls away and wipes at his eyes. “We can talk about you hiding stuff about Grandma from me later.”
“I just– wait. How did you know that?”
Shawn musters up a small smile, and puts his finger by his head. 
Henry isn’t amused. Shawn’s smile falls. His finger doesn’t.
“I’m serious, Dad.”
“Shawn.”
“The universe is a big rug, or uh… tapestry, thing, by the way. Beautiful, masterfully made, but a little coarse. One out of five stars, would not recommend before dying.”
“Shawn, don’t.”
“Respectfully, Mr. Spencer, shut up a second.” Gus leans in close as Henry is stunned by the blatant disrespect from someone who only ever calls him “Mr.” and used to scold Shawn for his misplaced prepositions. “Shawn. Be real with me. You read my mind before, remember that? And I’ve been thinking about all the stuff we’ve done together and– just, tell me straight. Are you actually…”
“Yeah, buddy.” Shawn closes his eyes again. “And it kind of blows.”
“Oh my god.”
“Didn’t see him. Unless he’s the rug, I guess, but I don’t think that’d make very good stained-glass windows.”
“Guster, don’t–”
“He read my mind back at the station! He’s not delusional!”
“Why would he be delusional?” Jules is at Shawn’s bedside, holding a cup of water, offering the straw to Shawn. “Henry, you’ve been acting weird and cagey about this entire thing.”
“Because he’s not–!”
“He is!”
Jules just looks more confused as it sinks in what Henry is not-saying. “Wait, why is this up for debate? You’ve confirmed it for us yourself!”
Shawn’s hands twitch. Bump.
It’ll work out. He can rely on The Universe to ensure Everything will Always work out. But he can make it work out well for everyone, not just himself, he knows it. And he can find it, find the best way to handle this. He can follow the cords without slipping away. He can. He’s done it before, he just didn’t know he was doing it. The sounds of arguing, of his dad finally spilling his secret, of Lassie shouting in vindication and then anger, of all it becomes background noise for a moment.
Bump, bump, bump…
The cords are running through him, but they’re not tight. They’re slack, and malleable. They’re not fully set in place yet. He can shift them. He can manipulate them–
No, no, his grandma told him not to get sucked into that. He wants to. He shouldn’t. He can. He could figure out how to move everything exactly how he wants. It’s right there…
But if he did that, had been doing that the whole time, where would his life be right now? He could probably find out exactly where– he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t need to, doesn’t need to sink into The Universe and play with it to know that he wouldn’t be here, with the good and the bad and all the in-between. 
Jules wouldn’t be here. Lassie wouldn’t be here. Gus might not even be here.
He lets out a slow breath. 
Bump. 
There.
There’s how he can do this without losing everything. Without everyone getting too hurt. Without just letting The Universe settle itself around him and his giant, panicked, longstanding deceptions.
He opens his eyes and everyone is arguing. Jules is furious and betrayed, Gus is yelling at Henry, Henry is fuming, Lassie clearly doesn’t know how to feel–
“Guys!”
His shout turns all eyes on him.
“I can explain everything,” he promises. “Yes, I am psychic. Yes, I lied about solving crimes psychically for years now. How are they both true? Well, let’s start with how my father is terrible at sharing important information until it’s almost not helpful anymore, and then skip right over to Lassie not believing I could get a good tip for him just by watching the news. By the end I promise you’ll all have your minds blown, might even be begging me to sell this as a TV show. Just… sit down.”
Gus does, and eyes the other three expectantly. They all take their seats with more hesitation. But they take them.
Twang. The cords pull taut for a moment as something major shifts, settles, and is firmly woven into place. Shawn can feel it reverberate in his bones. He thinks he’s felt it once before, back when…
“Lassie had me brought into the station after I called in a tip.”
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kisses4suna · 2 years
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hii, would you do akaashi and iwazumi and Kuroo if they found out their s/o would scratch themselves while washing their hands with soap aggressively so it makes their hands have scars? I use to do this all the time when I was stressed out. But I’m better now(:
FINDING OUT YOUR SCARS !
☆ featuring. akaashi, iwaizumi. gn!reader
☆ tw. scratching ? , mentions of ED ( eating disorders )
☆ a/n. hi babes! im so sorry about that :( i used to do that before too and it got really bad, my skin started peeling so i had to put a bunch of vaseline 😭😭 i’m so glad you got out of that habit!! and i am so sorry because i can only fit two charcaters for these, i’ll make a part two with kuroo and another chatacter ! also sorry if you waited long for this, ive been busy :((
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
AKAASHI KEIJI
you would always hide your hands away from akaashi, always wear gloves, mittens, or either shove your hands inside your hoodie or jacket. he didn’t know why though. he thought maybe you didnt wanna hold his hands? or maybe you were insecure of them like him
he asked you about them one day, and you didnt want to hide anymore. “keiji.. my hands are ugly! their all scratched up and scarred! im sorry..” you say, frowning. you wished he could’ve found someone better, someone who would actually hold his hand, or even show them at all.
it takes him a minute to ponder on his thoughts, before he asks why, “i just washed my hands a lot.. i scrubbed too much and now their all rough.. ‘m sorry keiji.. i didn’t know they’d get this bad.” you looked down, too ashamed to look him in the eye. “it doesn’t matter.. scarred or not, your hands will always be beautiful to me, everything about you will be beautiful to me. i love you, i want you to know that.” he grabs your hands, pulling them both up to kiss them.
and he isn’t lying, scratches or no scratches, you’ll always be the most beautiful living thing he’s ever seen.
IWAIZUMI HAJIME
he was confused at first- maybe you weren’t one for physical touch, and just like akaashi he respected your wishes, but was just curious, always wondering why you never showed your hands, at all.
you two were both hanging out in his room, your hands shoved into your pocket of your favorite hoodie. it wasn’t till iwaizumi walked over to you, grabbing your face with his two hands and planted a kiss on your face, “hey” he says, looking down on you, where you were sat on his bed. “hi” is all you say, looking up at his tall figure. “i got you snacks” he said, “here, eat something”
“.. i think i’ll have some later.. i’m not that hungry” is all you say, shoving your hands deeper into your pockets. “c’mon, you barely ate anything all day, at least eat something, please?” he asks, sitting down next to you.
“hajime- really, im not that hungry” trying to convince him, he didn’t believe one bit of it. “y/n.. do you have an eating disorder?” he asks, worried. “what- no!” you say, eyes widening.
“then are you alright? why don’t you want to eat around me?”
“iwa, what do you mean! we always eat together-“ you ask, acting completely clueless, “yeah but you just sit there saying you aren’t hungry! i have to practically feed you myself!” he slightly yells.
“it’s cause i hate my hands!” you yell back. “your what?!” he asks, completely dumbfounded. “my hands.. i just, well..” you stutter out.
you bring out your hands to show him, all scarred and scratched. “hajime.. i hate ‘em.. i can’t do anything now with these scars..”
he sighs, he had a totally different idea in his head, “oh baby.. listen, im sorry i yelled at you alright? you know i love you, but you don’t need to hide those. i don’t care if their scared or bruised or burnt or anything.. i was just worried you weren’t eating or something.. you really scared the shit out of me..” he says, voice grumbling at the end of his sentence.
he leaned in and kissed your forehead, his hands interwinding with yours. 
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wanderrlust0 · 8 months
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-.-
idk why he says nothings wrong when i ask him, when clearly something is wrong. ik how he is & when somethings up but he still denied it. i understand if he doesnt wanna get into it rn or he just wants to let it go but like in this case, i pretty much know exactly what its about that could be bothering him & the only way to put him at ease is to talk about it….again! this one specific thing triggered his mood last night & i didnt even think it would. i noticed a red scratch mark on my chest and sent him a pic saying how i think his cat made the scratch. his reply was soo serious, like i could actually feel him doubting me thru the phone. i knew he was questioning if it was really the cat bc he said how he was close to my chest the other day and didnt see anything so that is odd that theres a scratch. !! i immediately knew where his mind went & that thought didnt even occur to me when i sent that pic..like if i knew that would cause him to think of this crazy scenario then i wouldnt have sent that snap in the first place tbh bc right after that, his tone & the way he texted just shifted. hes not the best at masking his feelings like me so i can tell when the energy feels different. i also posted some pics from the hangout on my ig story & he saw it later that night. i have a feeling that added to his misery and all of today it was so prevalent, even if he denies it. idc if he says nothings wrong bc its not convincing and its not just in my head. he went from msging me all cutesy & happy to immediately being more neutral & uninterested. we always send a snap to say good morning (unless we get busy but we still send a snap with whatever we’re doing). he didnt open the app, as well as reply to my snap, until 7:15pm.. around 4 was when i asked him whats wrong (bc i already knew he was ignoring me). his response was that nothing really is wrong and how he went straight to work and his boss switched his assignment. usually id let that go but not when its already past 7 and hes firsttt opening snapchat to answer me ? and i see that hes been on instagram. also.. hes always talking to me when hes either at work already, still at home, or driving to work. the only time he goes mia like that is when something is definitely upsetting him. also!.. when that happens, he will text me after a couple hrs to let me know how hes feeling & why he was silent. he didnt always do that but i told him to bc its not fair to me by feeling like ive done something or just the feeling of purposely being ignored by my own boyfriend. but yeah.. he didnt do any of that this time BC its this whole situation again. i really dont know what more i could do to reassure him about it. i feel like ive done and am doing all that i can rn. its mostly up to him now to let himself figure it out and honestly, just trust me. like just saying.. im not gonna be making that mistake that you (both) did and be stupid with it.. and neither will snow. theyre not a “friend” its actually becoming really genuine and sweet and i wont let it get ruined bc of him doubting me. i also wont let the friendship ruin me and him. i really cant help but compare it to what he did with his friend, especially since i just found out like a month ago. i also have this suspicion that it happened earlier that yr (when we were still together) than what he told me, but i dont even wanna think about that for any longer. i was told by her Husband! that it happened when they were still in school together. that means a year before. idk if i believe that. she mightve lied, but my suspicion’s still there. like i asked him if he remembered what month and he couldnt. all he knew was that it was during our break..-.- the what.…like 1 1/2 month long break. you dont remember which month..? i sound so salty rn omg i dont mean to. im just trying to understand. ill see how he is with me tm bc we barely talked today. kind of glad i worked most of the day so i was able to keep busy and not hyper focus on him ignoring me.
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scapedgrace · 1 year
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TOP FIVE SONG ASSOCIATIONS. share the top songs in your playlist that most inspire / represent your muse the most. bonus points if you include lyrics that go along with it.
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i. king, florence + the machine.
But a woman is a changeling, always shifting shape. Just when you think you have it figured out, something new begins to take. What strange claws are these, scratching at my skin? I never knew my killer would be coming from within. I am no mother. I am no bride. I am king. I need my golden crown of sorrow, my bloody sword to swing. I need my empty halls to echo with grand self-mythology. 'Cause I am no mother. I am no bride. I am king.
ii. everybody loves me, onerepublic.
Don't need my health, got my name and got my wealth. I stare at the sun just for kicks all by myself. I lose track of time so I might be past my prime but I'm feelin', oh, so good, yeah. Oh my, feels just like I don't try, looks so good I might die. All I know is everybody loves me. Head down, swingin' to my own sound, flashes in my face now. All I know is everybody loves me.
iii. whatever it takes, imagine dragons.
Always had a fear of being typical, looking at my body feeling miserable. always hanging on to the visual. I wanna be invisible. Looking at my years like a martyrdom. Everybody needs to be a part of 'em. Never be enough, I'm the prodigal son. I was born to run, I was born for this. Break me down and build me up. Whatever it takes, 'cause I love the adrenaline in my veins. I do whatever it takes 'cause I love how it feels when I break the chains. Yeah, take me to the top, I'm ready for whatever it takes 'cause I love the adrenaline in my veins.
iv. tales of dominica, lil nas x.
Oh, finally grown, ain't nothing like I hoped it would be. Out on my own, I'm floating in an ocean-less sea. Could I be wrong? Was everybody right about me? Scary things in my head, I can't dream and I just—woke up on the floor. Oh, this plastic bed don't blow up no more. In this broken home, everyone becomes predictable. Oh, sometimes you're angry, sometimes you're hurting, sometimes you're all alone. Sometimes I'm anxious, sometimes it makes me feel like there's only now. I've been living in my lowest, it's safe to say. Hope my little bit of hope don't fade away. I've been living on an island made from fate. Can't go running back to home, I can't face her face.
v. age of the dragon, miracle of sound.
Just a lowly refugee, your Champion arrived. Brown shores of Ferelden fade to Kirkwall's buzzing hive. Rose above the poverty and rose above the pain. My friend became the saviour of the white city of chains. Fight for your values and fight for your friends. Fight through this Blight, find the light at the end. Through the age of the Dragon the people will talk of the day they were saved by a hero named Hawke.
tagged by: @fenhara tagging: whoever wants to!
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heckolve · 2 years
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hiii omg its been so long since ive sent an ask... ive loved seeing ur ocs and their universe evolve over time and i was wondering if u have any tips on developing stories and characters? i have this story idea in my head and i have the gist of it planned out but like. idk i need MORE u know
aww hi leo <3 hmm honestly my process is not super structured or straightforward lol. ive been working on them for years and years so its not streamlined at all... as far as working from scratch i'm not really sure since i havent made a New story in a longggg time. i'll put the rest under the cut since it got long <3
my best piece of advice might not be that helpful but what has been the most successful for me the past few years is to just let the story develop naturally.... it definitely helps once you've sort of established the general setting & characters & dynamics as well as genre/themes/what main points you want to hit in the story so that you have a defined area to play around in but ive found that after i've set all that up there is always a Next Logical Thought that comes along to develop the story.
with all good things, i wiped that story's slate almost completely clean a few years ago to start fresh and fix it and pretty much my only direction was "i want arrakis to have a more active role in the story" and the rest is history. i immediately was able to find a bunch of loose plot points that i could tie to her and i more closely examined and revised each character's relationship with her and played around with how that impacts them in the story both in their character development and actions. i'm not sure if this is the case with your story yet but for agt i also had a Ton of little things i wanted to happen in the story that needed explaining, like blaire's scars, the breakup, arrakis dying, etc etc. the whole Next Logical Thought process really came in for those points especially where literally all i asked is Why Did It Happen and then using the setting/story points/characters i already had established i was able to fill in those blanks pretty naturally.
why did arrakis die? someone killed her. why did someone kill her? because she knew something she shouldn't have. what did she know? did anyone else know? would anyone else even be able to know? how did knowing effect them? etc etc etc until i not only had one fully fleshed out plot point but suddenly had a way to connect multiple other plot points. anselm's development was the same way. i'd been playing around with a ton of ideas for years and years and had never found anything that worked Just Right and then literally in like the last few months of 2020 i had this one passing thought that ended up being THEE piece the story was missing and set the entire tone and structure of the narrative going forward. i'd definitely played with a Ton of ideas trying to fix the story but it was really just a matter of waiting for my brain to sit on it long enough to be "well obviously this happens" and well obviously yeah that was the right version of the story to tell 🤷‍♀️ its definitely helpful to actively work at a story to figure out exactly what you Want from it and narrow down the directions to go in but all i can really say is that eventually i always just get to a place where a story makes sense to me and theres always a next logical thought to go off of.
as far as character development goes its sort of the same process for me? but its a lot of thinking about like. what would happen if these two characters interacted. how do their worldviews and experiences influence how they interact with other people. what can they offer in a certain dynamic that other characters cant. and then especially in agt i'll sometimes just make a character to fix or fill a certain dynamic that seems lacking, like inez in the eliseyev family. like blaire and belladonna wouldnt necessarily be super close save for the fact that they have traumatic experiences revolving around the same subject that none of the other characters have. it makes them close but not in the same way that friends with similar dispositions and hobbies are; they have the same burden. ave is close with abel in a way he'd never be with most anyone else because abel's empathetic powers don't allow him to repress or hide his true emotions. it also helps to just think about silly things too-- not always huge life changing relationships and events LOL. delphi gets cat hair everywhere. belladonna can play peekaboo with the twins using her wings. memphis steals blaire's clothes 'cause his parents know to keep their closets on lockdown. thinking about how specific character attributes and dynamics makes them act in casual settings and circumstances just always makes them seem more fleshed out... but also i always try to explore dynamics that i may not have considered at first. like in the past arrakis' perception of the dovokov family didn't mean anything and so i never thought to consider it but now theres just SOOO much untapped potential to work with there. i also just tend to decide things at random and without precedent for my character's if it feel's Right 😭 like bell being a mechanic or jude an EMT. or that memphis & inez like winx club. or ila having an ex wife. i think any little specifics details and trivia regardless of how much or little they effect the story also help make characters feel more... human for lack of a better word.
i guess the last thing i'd say is to talk about it with someone else if you're comfortable with that and get the chance. or honestly it doesnt even have to be another person but just to have some way to verbalize or write down what you're thinking about. i don't usually have anyone to talk about my stories with but i can't tell you how helpful its been just Pretending that i do even... i do it all day every day where i'm like. "well what if someone wanted to know about X? what would be the answer?" and sometimes its big picture stuff and other times its just random character trivia but for some reason facilitating development that way helps me think about things i may not have thought about before or work through a tricky plot/character point 🤔
i hope any of that was helpful... like i said my process isn't exactly structured lol. and ive only just recently started moving past set up & big picture narrative development towards the specific start to finish story events which definitely takes a little more active development work over the Next Logical Thought process LOL. a lot of it still is just asking the question and figuring out which answer makes the most sense within the circumstances i've established though 🤷‍♀️
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shawnp0wers · 3 months
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My Car Accident
For a few years, I considered writing a book about my car accident. I’ve seen books about less exciting things. I haven’t ever done it, however, and I sorta doubt I ever will. This post might be all I ever write on the topic. (That seems so final doesn’t it?)
On March 2, 1999, I was on my way to work. Apparently I had a cellphone in one hand, a cup of pumpkin spice cappuccino in the other hand, and an open briefcase next to me on the seat. The problem is that I was driving a car at the time, and apparently I didn’t enough hands for such multitasking. My car went off the road and into a group of trees, missing each one. That part was amazing.
It wasn’t a smooth ride through the foliage, however, because my head ended up getting thrown through the driver’s side window. So to set the scene, My little Chevy Cavalier was off the road, having jumped a snow bank. My head, scratched and bleeding, was hanging out of the driver’s side window. I was buckled in (thankfully), and unconscious. Due to being in that position for about 45 minutes before being found, I was shivering uncontrollably from exposure.
And the beginning of the story is the less depressing part. It only gets worse.
When I actually woke up, on the way to the hospital, I was in the back of an ambulance with IVs coming from my arms. (I’m actually thankful I was knocked out for that portion.) A paramedic named Steve was trying to chit-chat with me, to see if I had any brain damage, to keep me out of shock, etc. Steve is my first memory. Looking up in that rattly ambulance is like the moment my “ON” switch was tripped. I don’t remember anything before that moment. At all.
The hospital was… odd. Since I couldn’t remember anything, the doctors were sure I was a drug user strung out on something. Either that or I had spinal meningitis. My head hurt in a way that only people that suffer from migraines will understand. It was the type of pain that makes you want to beg someone to shoot you. That sounds morbid — but it’s really true. Anyway, the only way to “tell” what was wrong with me was to take a spinal tap. Since I was a druggie (um, no), they couldn’t risk so much as a local numbing agent, so I get the full monty needle in my back without so much as an ice cube to numb the pain. Thankfully, my head hurt bad enough that the little needle hanging out of my back wasn’t as bad as it sounds now.
Apparently, spinal taps take a long time to get results from, because I had to lay in the room without any pain medication for many hours. I didn’t know anyone. I had a wedding ring on, but was sure I didn’t have any kids (I was wrong). I didn’t know if anyone was looking for me. I was truly scared, in a way that I can’t ultimately describe.
Anyway, that evening, still without any pain medicine, a nurse came in to give me the phone. My wife was on the other end, and asked me what happened. They hadn’t told her about my condition, and she didn’t understand why I hadn’t called her. She had been driving around all day trying to figure out what happened to me, and stopped at the hospital in a desperation attempt to find me. I said something vague, and apparently she recognized my confusion, because although I don’t remember exactly what she said, I could sense the terror in her voice. A few minutes later she was in my room. Very beautiful. Very pregnant. Very scared.
Yes, it was awkward. But, you see, my wife is incredible. She held it together in a way that looking back, I can’t fully understand. As I type this, there are tears in my eyes remembering the odd combination of pain, confusion, fear, and love. It was a strange couple days in the hospital, and during the stay, I started to think I was some weird science experiment (much like the Truman Show). It wasn’t until my 2 year old daughter came to the hospital on the 2nd or 3rd day that I knew it was all genuine. See, adults could be faking. A 2 year old, however, couldn’t fake the excitement to see Daddy in the hospital room. Amanda ran across the room, with arms outstretched, shouting, “Daddy! Daddy!” I’m not sure she’ll ever know how important that moment was for me. 🙂
Anyway, the story gets more depressing from there, so I’ll abbreviate it a bit. I had constant headaches for months, and I actually didn’t sleep for about a month and a half. They say you go crazy if you don’t sleep. They’re right. It was the lowest point in my life. I couldn’t leave the house, I was agoraphobic. I couldn’t work, because I’d forgotten how. I stuttered. I was depressed. Very, very depressed.
And, to top things off, the car insurance company denied my insurance claim. Since I was shaking when the ambulance picked me up, they based their denial on the report I was “shaking” — because that meant I had a seizure, which is a preexisting condition. Having epilepsy would negate their responsibility to pay for my doctor bills, and my rehabilitation bills. Great, except that I had an EKG, X-Ray, MRI, and CT scan. I did not have a seizure, I was just shivering from the cold. They wouldn’t change their denial. I was stuck. No rehab. No counseling. Plenty of bills.
Donna went to work bussing tables at a local restaurant for minimum wage. (7 months pregnant at this point) We moved into her mother’s house, and slept on a mattress on the floor. Life was not great. Then, Donna had complications, and was forced to go on bed rest for the last month of pregnancy. Shortly after, we were a very sad family of 4.
Here’s the point where the welfare system does what it is designed to do. We managed to get enough doctor notes, or whatever, to qualify for food stamps and a pittance of monthly income along with Medicaid insurance. My headaches were largely gone, and I started to relearn my trade. Thankfully, I had a computer, and oddly enough, I retained the ability to type like a mad fool. 🙂 I spent the next 6 months self-learning about Linux, networking, computer repair, etc. In February of 2000, I was hired as the Technology Director for the local school district, where I still work. The administration took a big risk in hiring me, and I’ll forever be in their debt. I’m told it was a combination of my heartfelt, honest cover letter, and the fact that everyone in town knew my wife and our family.
So anyway, that’s the story of my car accident. I never did remember my past, apart from occasional odd “glimpses” of things. I’ve pieced together my history from speaking with others, and I think my brain might have filled in some of the gaps without me even realizing it. Memory loss isn’t as clear cut as you’d think. Many of my memories are ones that I’ve created from what people have told me — but I think many actual memories are in there too, and I can’t tell the difference. For the most part though, I never got anything back.
Now? Oh, we’re doing great. We have 3 beautiful girls, and they’re all doing great. We bought a house (not fun with tens of thousands of dollars worth of bad medical debt…) The rest you pretty much know. I’ve started writing, which has been a dream of mine both before and after my accident. And I never lost my sense of humor. There are funny stories galore about the whole ordeal, but I think I’ll save those for another time. 🙂
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ithisatanytime · 1 year
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bladee & ecco2k - 5 star crest (nightcore)
 my moms evil dog died today and its fucking me up, i say she was evil but she was just aggressive and weird, i literally couldnt even look at her without her growling, barking, and snapping viciously and in fact i still have the scar on my face from where she bit me. and yet if i stopped petting her she would growl and whine for me to keep going and in her eyes i could see intelligence and love despite her aggressive growling. so today she was lethargic, couldnt even move from her side, and had been throwing up etc. she just wanted me to pet her chest, and wouldnt move otherwise except that one paw so i could scratch her chest, so thats what i did, all day, while we were trying to source antibiotics or something, i was just petting her chest. she did something i wont ever be able to explain, but i kissed her head, and she moved her head for another kiss and give me a look that was a combination of “i love you, goodbye” and it sent me, keep in mind i wasnt entirely sure she was dying as of this point but i started crying pretty hard when she did that. i filled a bottle with sugar water, and used a medicine dropper to drop some onto her dry mouth, and i even saw her drink a gulp of it, when she grunted to tell me “dont stop petting me” but when i started petting her again i could tell that her eyes were open but she was unconscious, her mouth opened and closed strangely i could tell she wasnt doing it voluntarily, i realized she was dying, my mother started sobbing quiet loudly, so i had my sister get her out of the room because i figured we were in for some hours of agonizing before she passed and i didnt want the last thing she heard to be her owner in agony, but by the time my sister had started getting her out of the room, i was petting pipers head and telling her she was a good girl, but she was already gone. her tongue lazily rolled out of her mouth and she was just gone. ive never seen an animal or person go better than that. 
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effervescentlie · 2 years
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its been days and im still thinking about fsahb. its. effy its. effy how and why do i have fsahb brainrot when the fic is over ive been rereading and rereading and following this fic for so long. this is the end of an era. there will never be another fic like this.
thank you for writing this fic. i have literally no idea how many times i've reread it, only that it's one of the things that helped me through my last year of highschool and there's only one other fic that i held in the same regard as it - fsahb and that fic are honestly tied as my favorite dnf fics ever written. it made me laugh, it made me yell, it had me scratching my head trying to figure out why dream was so secretive about his identity, it had me smiling stupidly at my phone at 3am in the morning after so, so many bad nights (and some good ones where i just wanted to reread because - well. come on, it's fsahb, what other reason do you need?). during the hiatus, there were some times where i'd finish on the chapter you left off and just...start again. read it twice in one night, why not? when you were updating before the hiatus, i'd like - save reading the chapters for the end of the day, so that I could end it on a happy note. You have no idea how excited I was when you started mentioning it again a couple weeks ago - and when the update email came in, I could have yelled. it had me hyperfixating on ice skating and ice hockey and the dream team, it had me in awe of you as a writer, intimidated by how well you wrote, and i think i'll always think of it fondly. this fic is a comfort, it means a lot to me, and i'm so, so, so grateful to you for writing it :)
also, getting it to exactly 54,000 words? You're a god.
ohh you are so so sweet. this is so sweet i'm emotional. it really does feel like the end of an era :')
you're very welcome and thank you for reading!! i'm so flattered to hear that you liked figure skates and hockey blades enough to want to reread it because that's just like. So unfathomable to me. and i'm really happy that it helped you get through those tough times. the last year of high school is definitely super rough emotionally/mentally and it's so mindblowing to hear that something i wrote could bring you comfort.
i'm smiling so hard right now u have no idea ! i feel so happy to have written one of your favourite fics Seriously. i'm still trying to wrap my head around this ask haha it's such high praise and it's just so real in a way that i can't describe. you're the greatest. And hearing that it made you feel all those emotions makes me feel so warm -- i always strive to make the reader feel and relate to the characters when i write and hearing that it worked and paid off is just. So incredible
and YES haha -- i recently edited most of my fics so the word count would be a prettier number (i like the way it looks) and when i finished the chapter i saw the wc was just 5 words off of 54k so i nudged it in the right direction a bit.
thank u for such a lovely message. i'm so unbelievably honoured that you reread it so many times, that it made you happy, that you got excited when it came back, and that you loved reading it as much as i loved writing it. you are so sweet i wish u good things only
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Text
Ive been seeing a lot of Belle discourse recently, particularly pertaining to one scene in particular.
I want to take a moment from my usually fun, chaotic gremlin commmentary to address this scene because it was a very important scene for me.
Please be aware that if you continue scrolling you are consenting to spoilers. And, because this is an incredibly heavy topic, I am going to put a CW for Child Abuse, Violence and Bodily Harm.
The scene I am speaking about is the scene at the end where Suzu goes to Tokyo to protect Tomo and Kei. We as viewers watch Suzu stand up to the boys' father and protect them, leading him to collapse on the ground and run away. Now the commentary I've seen on this is that it doesn't make sense.
If it doesn't make sense, then it's likely you have never been a victim of physical abuse, and for that I am very glad. However, for those of us who have been in abusive situations and escaped them, this scene probably hit home.
You see, abusers want you to be afraid. They want to be in control and they want the person they are hurting to know it. When Suzu was protecting the boys using her body, he continued to try to tear her away from the boys because Kei would use his body to protect Tomo, and he recognized that as a fear response. He still felt like he was in control of the situation and that hurting Suzu would get her to fold, making her controllable.
That's why, when she stands up, facing him head on with her arms spread out, he immediately shifts from grabbing and scratching to raising his fist and yelling. He is realizing his control is slipping. He yells at her and shakes his fist at her multiple times, trying to make her flinch, trying to make her scared so he could maintain power. By the third time he yells at her, he realizes that he's not going to win, he's not going to scare her, and he backs down.
His power is taken from him by a child, a seventeen year old girl. This shakes him and he falls to the ground. He's so used to being in control that it actually scares him when he's not.
Now, we don't see the aftermath of this moment, but I expect that the dad is going to try harder to regain the power over his children that he feels he's lost, but now that Kei isn't afraid of him, I expect that will be much harder.
I know this, because something like this happened in my own life. I had an experience in my youth with an abuser who did very similar things, using threats of violence to create fear as a way of controlling me. And much like in the movie, it took someone else defending me against threats of violence to make the situation safe enough to leave.
That is why the scene makes sense. Because it showed how one act of bravery can change a seemingly hopeless situation. Standing up to an abuser doesn't always fix the problem, and its a very dangerous thing to do, but it's also a very selfless one.
For me, Belle was about bravery. It was about learning to do things even though they're scary. About being your true self in a world where everyone else is hiding themselves, both literally and figuratively.
What's braver than knowing you're afraid and choosing to take a stand anyway?
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genyawritesshizz · 2 years
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Part two of my Monty x animatronic reader!
This is what the cafe is supposed to look like!
Part 1: https://caittiebugzzz.tumblr.com/post/673421211667218432/jesus-ive-been-wanting-to-write-an-x-animatronic
“No…that’s all I could find.” Freddy did leave out a couple details. Like where he found the papers and the fact that you where in the pizza plex already. The rest of the band assumed you’d be shipped soon. He feared they’d swarm you before you where ready to meet everyone.
“I think they’ll be fun!” Chica said once again enjoying her favorite thing, a large pizza. “ lighten up Monty! I bet you’ll love them!” Monty scoffed.
“Like hell I will,I bet they’re just as fucking annoying as the rest of you.” Monty let out a classic alligator hiss.
“So what if they suck at least they’re not as cool as me!” Roxanne puffed her hair up.
“You’re all stupid” with that Monty was gone.
“ what’s a drama queen but yeah Im out of here too I’ve heard all I need to.” With that Roxanne left too. They both probably retired to their rooms for the night.
“Gosh Chica how do you do it?” Freddy sighed the poor bear never was a good sass fighter.
“It’s not easy! In fact I should probably go check and make sure she’s okay!” Chica finished off her pizza licking the remaining grease and pizza sauce on her fingers before chancing after Roxy. “Wait for me!” She called out to her.
Alone, Freddy strolled over to the closed coffee shop that would soon become your caffe, peeking through the boarded up windows. He was able to see a limited amount of things inside what he could see where absolutely beautiful. Low hanging lantern lights with large amounts of fake plants hanging around them and all over the ceiling. Wood top tables with matching wooden chairs, some where taller than others. It was a huge contrast to the bright neon colors of the rest of the plex. It looks so calming.
“Pretty ain’t it.” Freddy look away from the window and over to where Monty leaned against the opposite wall. Freddy was shocked, and apparently his face showed it. Monty nodded his head for Freddy to followed. He took his to his room in rockstar row. Entering Monty’s room wasn’t something everyone was allowed to do. Hell not even most staff members where allowed to, he was deemed ‘to dangerous.’ His poor room showed it, the sofa that rested in the corner was split in half and giant scratch marks littered the walls.
Despite the sofas poor condition Monty plopped down on it. Looking up at Freddy and motioning for him to sit on the other broken side. Once the bear complied Monty slipped off his signature Star shaped glasses and looked at Freddy.
“I can tell you’re hiding something from us”
“I-I… what makes you say that?” The bear could feel a nervous sweat building, it took everything in him to not rub the back of his neck.
“I know you Freddy, I know you’re hiding something. Now you can either spill it now or I’ll figure it out later.” Freddy caved under Monty’s unwavering gaze.
“Okay fine, she here!”
“Here as in she’s already in the Plex?!” Monty leaned in close to Freddy.
“Yes but she’s… she’s not finished.” Freddy’s eyes darted around the room looking anywhere but at the gator. “She’s really not ready to see any of us.”
“Why? Walk in on her naked or something?” Freddy’s face filled with a deep shade of red.
“Uh… sort of” he stammered, Monty threw back his head, bellowing out a deep laugh.
“Damnnn, well is she hot?”
“No! No I didn’t see her like that I-” Freddy was at a lost for words his poor processing unit was on over drive trying to come up with an explanation that didn’t sound so vulgar. “She simply did not have her suit on. I don’t think it’s ready yet”
“Oh so you saw all her parts and wires huh?” Monty dipped his head down and pulled his sunglasses down a bit to peer at the flustered bear.
“No! You’re getting this all mixed up she…. Well come on let’s go I’ll show you what I mean.”
The two marched their was down the tunnels back to the parts and service room where Freddy last encountered you. Monty giving chastising comments on how he couldn’t believe Freddy walked in on you naked and you hadn’t even been here a month.
“Alright here we are now keep in mind last time I was here she wasn’t… aware.” Freddy opened the door and flicked on the lights. The sight before them wasn’t much different then what Freddy had seen last night. But now the endoskeleton lay motionless on the table, no wires connecting it to the computer.
“Damn.” Now it was Monty’s turn to feel flustered, he understood what Freddy meant now. She was naked in a way but not in the way that Monty meant. She simply was bare bones literally no suit at all.
“Yeah uh, she’s…” the both looked around nervously at anything but the endo skeleton. They both turned to leave.
“Common I think I’ve seen enough let’s get-”
“Hello?” They both snapped back around to see the once lifeless skeleton, now her eyes where open and she looked curiously at both of them.
“Well hello dear! I’m Freddy Fazbear! Welcome to Freddy Fazbears Pizza Plex!” Freddy rushed over to the curious little skeleton. “What is your name?” Freddy of course already knew her name but thought it would be polite to ask. Also it would gauge just how conscious she was.
She tilted her head and gazed up at the bear.
“Uh I think my name is (y/n)” he eyes wondered over past Freddy and to a very confused Monty standing off in the corner. “Who is that?”
Freddy looked over his shoulder and waved Monty over. Monty begrudgingly came over and stood beside Freddy.
“I’m Monty Gator.” He refused to make eye contact.
Something inside you compelled you to lean over to Freddy and exclaim to him.
“Hey kids did you know an Alligators are reptiles and members of the crocodilian family, which includes crocodiles, caimans, American alligators, and Chinese alligators.” Her eyes closed and her head tilted in a smile.
“Oh this must be apart of her safari programming looks like she’s going to be around you Monty” Freddy laughed and the now annoyed gator rolled his eyes. “Got anymore cool facts for us (y/n)? Any about bears?”
“Of course! Bears have excellent senses of smell. They can smell food, cubs, or predators from miles away!” She smiled again. Freddy was fascinated, she appeared to be programmed with facts about animals. It made sense due to her being a ‘safari guide.’ Monty laughed hard after she stated this fact.
“Makes sense, Freddy is a fat bear.” Freddy scoffed.
“I am not! I’m fluffy.”
“Whatever you say. Anyways, what all do you know (y/n)?”
You took a moment to process his question.
“I know lots of things, I know many different facts about animals, plants, and coffee!”
“Know anything else other than what you’re programmed to know?”
“I’m not sure I understand what you’re asking” the poor endo skeleton was confused. Freddy leaned over and whispered into Monty’s ear.
“She’s been reset. I don’t think she knows anything other than her programming.” Monty paled.
“Oh shit.” Monty looked back at the confused girl. “Don’t you worry lil’ gator ol’ Monty will show you the way”
“I look forward to working with you! Though you will have to excuse my rule breaking. I’m not sure where my suit is, I must have misplaced it.” She looks down at her bare frame before scrabbling to get up and frantically look around the various boxes and bins around the room.
“Rule breaking?” Both Monty and Freddy where confused.
“It is against Freddy Fazbears Pizza Plex rule, page 113 section 57, for any animatronic to be out of their suit! If you wish to report me I understand.” Oh boy it appears they programmed her to know every rule, again makes sense due to her being a tour guide.
“It’s okay! We understand, you’re new and probably don’t have a suit yet! I’m sure it’ll be here soon!” Freddy tried to calm her nerves.
“I sure hope so, none of these parts appear to belong to me.”
To cut their meeting short Freddy’s Fazwatch sounded off. Signaling that it was an hour till opening. Freddy and Monty needed to head back to their rooms to recharge for the malls opening.
“(Y/n) it was a pleasure to meet you properly but Monty and I need to return to our rooms to recharge!” Her ears slightest dropped and she looked down to the floor.
“Will I see you guys again! You’re the first friends I’ve met besides the nice men working on me!” She looked at them with hopeful eyes.
“Hell yeah! You better get used to us you’re going to be around us for awhile!” Monty smiled.
“Swearing is against the rules in se-”
“First rule at the school Monty is swearing is a-okay as long as no kids are near by.”
“Noted adding to memories for future reference. I have an extensive document of words that are prohibited from being used, are those okay to use without children present?” Monty tried to hold in his laugh as Freddy gave him a death glare.
“We’ll talk more later” was all he said as he exited the room.
“Don’t mind him (y/n)! Well see you again soon!”
“Goodbye Freddy and Monty!” You waved goodbye to them.
Once the two of them left you sat happily on the table smiling at the thought of having new friends. But also replaying Monty question over and over in your head.
“What else do I know?”
.
.
.
Monty and Freddy decided it was probably best if they didn’t disturb her until she was one hundred percent presentable and functioning properly. They didn’t want to mess around and make her uncomfortable or mess with her programming. Thought truth be told Monty couldn’t help himself but to sneak into the tunnel at night and press his ear against the door to hear if you said anything. He was always met with silence on the other side. Until, it was three nights before the grand re- opening of the new rain forest cafe and (y/n)’s safari adventure. Monty did his usual rounds of talking to his band mates after closing time and sneaking away, and down the tunnels.
This time when he pressed his ear to the door he could hear her talking.
“Welcome to the rainforest cafe! My names (y/n)! How can I help you!” Sounds like you’re just going over your scripted lines. “Right this way to our next adventure!” But as you continued speaking, your voice became less and less cheery and more anxious. “What if they don’t like me…”
Something inside Monty pinged with sadness when he heard this. He remembered his big debut years ago. He was so nervous that he actually stuttered his first big greeting to the franchise. They thought he was glitching already, fucking sucked, and the teasing he got after from the rest of the band was horrendous. As much as he wanted to comfort you he knew it was best to just let it go. You’d do fine, he knew you would. Besides you where set to meet the rest of the band tomorrow anyways. He’s sure Freddy with give you the biggest pep talk the lovable bear could give. Still, Monty vowed to try and make your first few days as flawless as they could possible be.
Besides how hard could it be? You obviously where programmed with all the latest software.
Part 3 https://caittiebugzzz.tumblr.com/post/673582645753626624/catbug
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