#its thr same fucking thing

[dreamlanddoll]

if your friend tells/confides in you that they're insecure abt their apperance/hate the way they look and your response is "why? you're white/skinny/etc. you shouldn't be complaining" I hope you get hit by a bus <3

#it does not help #idc idc idc #idc how much your friend contextually fits western beauty standards #body dysmorphia is real and very much warps how you percive yourself and it can actually make you very suicidal in some cases #and i swear to you the amount of times i got met with this response was the most tone deaf abelist thing and irritated the shit out of me #its a disease that goes so beyond weight or skin colour so like just please #listen to and confort your friends when they tell you they are struggling #thats like telling your depressed friend that their life is great and have nothing to be sad about #its thr same fucking thing #cut that shit out #bee talks #mental health #mental illness #body dysphoria #body issues #body image #body dysmorphia #body dysmorphic disorder

[majimassqueaktoy]

Saejima and his prison crew still meeting up sometimes to have dinner and beers and maybe a tabletop role play is a head canon that I simply think is very cute.

#rggo sending him back bc he wanted to properly thank okudera and check in on him was the best thing ever to me #bc i already had thr idea in my head that of all the lads he is actually the one most likely to keep relationships up to some degree #which is sweet when you think about him not seeing anyone for 25 years and then think about what happened with Yasuko #So I was like yeah he and Kido def get beers once in a while and catch up #once all the boys are out im certain same shit for them too #its just a nice idea to me #also him and himura are still just funny to me #he could have been so much more reluctant about their weird sapporo roleplay visit thing #but he just went along with it 😂 #oshima and baba just sitting there like 😐😐 this shit again #it would make no sense to send majima back to hokkaido when he was arrested at the start of 6 #but i hope they did and he an the old boys at least got to chill together ☠️ #saejima not majima eo yai yai so many jimas so little time #thank fuck daigo gets called daigo and not dojima id be fuckin him up too

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#what do you call it when a mind is lacking in depth of m thought? is there a word for that? #because all my mind can do is spin in tiny circles. never push any further. no depth of thought #i cant even carry out this line of thought to completion in my head. i have to write it down like this or else it remains stuck in an eddy #its so frustrating. when my thoughts are pressured i spin so fast it feels like my head might pop but the thoughts never go anywhere #bc they just repeat the same god damn things all thr fucking time. they drag me around in circles. then when im feeling low or even like #normal. my head just feels empty and it freaks me out. i have no intersting thoughts to think. theres nothing behind my eyes #possibly its just my brain on 0cd. but how am i suppose to escape the spiral if its in my own head? i guess im just supposed to changr my #reaction to it. recognize what it is and let it go. but i dont like it #i just want to curl up on a warm tile floor. press myself into a quiet corner and not think anything #in an aquarium or a conservatory. specifically the conservatory in Columbus. i love that place #i went there for my birthday when i was like 12 bc i liked it so much. the botanically gardens and the butterflies and the stained glass #i dunno. i just like it there. ugh. im just tired #god. there was a really cool talk today and im always like im not that inattentive lol but then i cannot for the life of me follow a talk or #read a paper all thr way through. my short term working memory is just a tiny little cup. easy to overfill #so i miss mostly everything. its so frustrating #its all frustrating. whatever. back to the psychiatrist tomorrow. probably up thr lamicta1 dosage #bc im past where i was last time i had a reaction to it 💪 #i just wish i wanted to draw. drawing just makes me tired and impatient rn #unrelated

[the-trans-dragon]

Rendered inert by the crushing of fear of doing things with mediocre skills rather than with precise perfection and efficiency -> Rendered inert hesitant by the realization that I am being Very Visibly Autistic by doing things with precise perfection and efficiency -> just accepting that everyone is looking at me and thinking "oh my god, I didn't know we had THAT kind of weirdo in our community. We need to make that kind of person illegal" which *isn't true* but it's way easier to cope with, than trying to to convince myself that most people are neutral and busy being the protagonist of their own lives and not thinking about writing a memoir titled "This Fucker Is Ruining My Life By Existing Near Me: Plotting Their Demise"

Haha sorry that was just gonna be silly and lighthearted but i lost my way and ended up in Brain Troubles Land <3

#sorenhoots #hm :) i was making good progress on my Social Fears until my state nefariously and purposefully wrote bills to make my wellbeing illegal. #god. i dont know why i keep forgetting they do that. like ive watched them do it to...well...people without citizenship. my state is Extra #Passionate about No Immigrants. >:( and i didnt *forget*... its just hard to make coffee or go buy water while actively *remembering* the #manmade horrors beyond my comprehension. and then its like 'you are being paranoid. not everyone in the store is wishing you were dead.' and #like. true! not everyone. but #someone might be. and it might be someone with the power to make it happen. i mean theres at least ONE person like that here. someone #wrote that bill. and okay maybe 80% of people are neutral about me and not actively wanting to illegalize my wellbeing. but *NEUTRAL* #people can be just as deadly. the neutral people wont fight for me. and so i guess i KNOW that 'not everyone in the grocery store feels #self-righteous disgust at my existence' but it feels like it doesnt matter. it feels like things would be the same even if they did. #neutrality feels like...exile. so maybe its just easier to say 'everytime i leave the house- someone makes me feel unsafe and like a plauge #of humanity' than to explain why neutral intentions hurt if they allow my rights to be taken. #pfff. if ONLY i was *just* a plague of humanity. my entire local society would accept me with open arms! theyd publicly shame anyone who #didnt support me! theyd FIGHT laws restricting my capacity to exist! #ugh. cmon brain. theres good stuff in thr world. look. a fucking flower. goddamn. that is a fucking good flower. im so glad to exist at the #same time as flowers. theyre pretty new! fairly recent #especially compared to photosynthesis or multicellular life. thanks for existing little flower.

[steampoweredskeleton]

My physio wants me to go outside and walk every day. I feel like I should have warned her that the likelihood of me having that kind of energy is incredibly small, and even if it's there, that energy needs to go towards shit like cooking before trips outside

#delete later #it makes me feel lazy sometimes that i hsve so little energy but at thr same time i know that its not my fault #trying to keep a good level of functioning in terms of self care like eating and washing and chores is already really difficult #whilst working full time. i may have the energy for every other day after the flat inspection. tonight i need to reserve energy for #tidying and shit before that. im so tired i legitimately had to fitce myself not to lie down earlier bc i knew I wouldn't be getting back u #idk what the fuck is wrong with me but this is how ive been since i was like 11/ #12 and had to lie down after school #i also keep teetering on the edge of a real freak out. ive been switched to probrct management again so im doing a bunch #of emailing abd communicating and checking. most of which doesnt have concrete answers and relies on understanding #whst ppl are trying to say in their survey responses. which i rly rly struggle with. and on top of that several things #have changed this week at work ahd its impacted my workload sbd responsibilities a lot so im trying to breathe theough it #but im incredibly frustrated and stressed and overwhelmed and having to spend at least a couple hours under weighted blanket each day #most ofbthe tine i dont require the weighted blanket its just nice. i require it right now. frustrating

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

like and reblog this post if you think the same brand of bluetooth headphones should be able to fit in the same case if you've lost one half of one pair and the case of another pair no longer charges bc the charging port is broken somehow bur you've got both headphones in that case. or that bluetooth phones should be able to connect to each other across brands as well so that if you have two pairs that have lost halves you can make a whole lmao

#life #about me #shut up ilona #this is just a callout post for myself mostlt #*mostly tbh #bc ive lost one half of my samsung buds (like my left ear) and one half of one pair of my cheapie buds (my right ear) #and i'd like to use those as a whole pair across brands bc idek where the other half of both pairs went.... #.....while i was sleeping with them in at diff times either late last year or earlier this year #and then i have another pair of cheapies but the charging port is fucked somehow so i cant charge them AT ALL #but theyre the same brand as the other cheapie pair so youd think theyd fit in the case of the other cheapie pair but they dont #and i have both sides of thr broken pair that i cant charge #this should be fucking illegal tbh #i dont want to spend ANOTHER fucking $30 on ANOTHER cheapie pair just to have the same of either thing happen #just make the same brand to be able to charge in different cases or across pairs and also across brands #my samsung buds were nearly $200 on top of my phone bill (and each month its an extra $16 to pay off) #so i should be able to use them across brands when theyre THAT expensive imo

[angelformed]

the state of the aot fandom today is soooo sad…. like. i hate to say it but it was better when ereris were running it yea cursed ship but it wasnt misery and discourse everyday and a significant proportion of the fandom wasnt basically anime mgtows ……. sigh….. miss the days of jaeger bombastic….. do u wanna kill some titans…. marco is still alive theories… the bubblepop cmv……

#dnt come for me abt the ereri thing ok i liked it when i was 12 n too dmb to know better n am assuming everyone else was the same #so sad the bubblepop cmv was deleted aswell….. #it got deleted twice but someone reuploaded it… now its jsut gone … erased from history #like yall werent there when uprising arc was ongoing n that one freckled dude w the farmers hat was in it for prob like MAX 5 panels n it #spawned several marco is still alive n is a titan shifter theories yall werent there. #yall werent there when we saw frieda for thr first time through erens memories n thought it was him in drag like yall just werent there #and eremika is so boring sorry #like it definitely has its moments it definitely gives but like. ZZZZZZ #uno what it couldve been sm better n more appealing but #like this is jst a fact…. mikasas char sucks for most of the anime bc they took out so much of her dialogue n jst replaced it w her saying #eren. we have the proofs we have the screen recordings the back to backs the proof is in the pudding !!!! #i rlly wish i liked it …. i mean tbh i do actually like it but its fans also make me hate it a bit #and all the eren fans are fake as FUCK. they only started liking him after the timeskip like your fske as fuck we have NOTHING IN COMMON

[foxgirlmoth]

I'm so heated about hbomber's video on DS2 right now the thought of sleep repulses me. Sara felt the full intensity of my negative emotions blasted into her ears for almost 3 hours. The video is half that length.

#IT JUST FELT LIKE THERE WAS SO MUCH DISCREDIT GIVEN TO DS1'S TEAM!!! #AND MAKING FUN OF ITEM DESCRIPTIONS BEING MORE LORE AND STUFF #Dark souls 1 giving the feeling of a full world you can map out perfectly in 3D space being called inferior to DS2's???? #Like full on thrown together overlapping mess of a world??? #Because its kinda like oooo whats with that!! So wild... #like come ON DS1 made a statement with that and companies and people make it a goal to imitate that #I think that was one of the biggest things. Dark Souls 1 did so much for world design. #There was something else that put me over the edge #OH FUCK YEAH #SAYING THE FOG GATES #IN DS1 #ARE BAD #THEN SAYING THE DOORS YOU NEED TO EQUIP A RING FOR #IN DS2 ARE GOOD #ALONG WITH THR FUCMKIJG #MILLION SOIULS OR 4 BOSSES DOOR #I'M GONNA EXPLODE AGAIN #ITS THE SAME THIS BUT ***MORE*** ABSTRACT #The funny thing is that after Elden Ring earlier this year #I 100%'d it #So I went back to DS1 and did that om it #Did it in DS2 #WHICH WAS HELL #And now I'm finally doing DS3 like half a year after DS2 #Because 100% ds2 was much much more painful #I STILL LIKE THE GAME #IT BROUGHT GOOD THINGS #but its SO funny almost everything presented as a good thing in the video #Was NOT brought into ds3 #Also the 'using a shield means you're bad' comment in the middle of it all.... I was. I'm so. Don't use the game's mechanics you assholes

[oatbugs]

my glasses fell apart + i had to run away from the postgrad workrooms in case i got caught staying there overnight + cramps + i dont understand the essay i wrote and i feel like i vant finish it bc i cant understand it but also at the same time i have to finish it bc its due 3pm but idk what i meant by anything anymore

#personal #like literally they just dropped off my face onto the ground bc the little side . bit . thing . idk what its called #one of the 2 foldy bits . that one . just FELL #and there is no screw or anything it seems like the bit thats supposed to hold the screw is broken #i cant go home until i finish this #ill just live w the headache lmao #maybe a glasses store is open or smth after 3pm #also theres this girl who is somehow my equal and opposite ? like same hair a lot of same interests but also like opposite at the same time #anyway . shes so cool and she saw me getting coffee an absolute MESS and she was like mei are u ok and this is first time weve talked in #months #me and my HALF BROKEN GLASSES what is this luck #its fine #this is actually like #psychological torture . it must be . thr phil department rly said solve a logical fallacy or die trying #im on my like 3rd extension if i ask for another one im afraid ill lich rally get fucking killed by professor ********

[faerociousbeast]

its so so SO much more fucked up in the manga too. kaiza gets like. tied up to this post right. jesus style(?? well his arms are sticking out anyways idk ive never met jesus). in the anime, his arms are super bruised from being tortured and hit and stuff which is still 1000% traumatic and painful for a kid to have to witness, BUT IN FHE MANGA THEY RIP HIS ENTIRE FYCKING ARMS OFF

#sometimes naruto really does get mad at people without knowing thr full story i think it was INCREDIBLY #understandable for inari who was like. what. 6? at the time to be upset and not believe in heroesbvjdjgjdkfjd #its similar to what happened with tsunade too yeah? to him she was just insulting his goal #to her she was being remjnfed of how those with the same dream were fucking killed and llst thlse dreams #BC of that same village they wanted to protect #or hell even neji. wow neji youre being so mean to h*nata!!!!! #*he is being owned as a slave. by her. and is understandably lashing out given all hes had to deal with.* #i love naruto but soemtimes he is SERIOUSLY........... #he was the prime candidate to either actually change things #but also if molded right. prime guy to continue oppressing #and then hr went with j*raiya for three years and exactly that happened . #its so sad he was learning so much in the first part!!! #and in the second he comes back and just!!!!!!!! #the knly.thjng you should be stubborn about is sasuke‚ naruto!!!!!!! #you dont know ANYONES story and being stubborn about what you believe is hurting so many people

[cinnabeat]

thinking about the rs arc in pokespe

#i really liked thr vibes going on in that arc #idk why #i want to say its when the stakes really went up a couple notches in the whole manga #it just felt more hmm. like the danger was well and truly real #i guess cuz rgby and gsc were more personal towards the drxholders #and in rs it was literally a world catastrophe lmao #and the split povs between ruby and sapphire was super interesting #i feel like the plot really kicked up a notch then you know? like characterization and alcharacter arcs and the complex plot #emerald is a good arc too but i like it more for emeralds characterization and development rather than the plot itself #cuz it piggy backed off of frlg which was ALSO good just cuz of the symbolism and metaphors and whatever the fuck #like the THEMES MAN omg so good #but yeah rs is by no means my fave arc nor the best one (thats bw for both) (not bw2 tho that sucked ass) #but rs is still like. i was gonna say second fave but thats actually dppt lmao so third fave #i havent really read xy but i heard it was good but i think the quality from blxy onwards sucked #or bw2 onwards sucked #i think bc theres literally a pokemon game every what 1 1/2 years? super unsustainable when ur trying to make a story out of the games #although sm was pretty interesting before i stopped reading #idk i guess it just started sucking more bc like. the coveted dexholder title is just no longer a thing #like they still get titles but having a pokedex just isnt special anymore which makes sense chronologically but at the same time its like #idk i just miss seeing old characters #like u know how percy jackson shows up in literally all the books whether hes plot relevant or not #i always joke about wanting him to rest but it IS nice to see him regardless and helping younger demigods #like i miss that about pokespe #like the original decholders stopped making appearances in main title arcs in dppt but their influence was still THERE you know? #idk how to articulate this properly #tldr i think writing quality has dropped and i feel awful for thinking that #michi tag

[toastsnaffler]

this assay is so fucking fake......

#same one ive been working on for like 3 months. every other assay ive trained on took me a couple goes to get but ive done this one ~45x #and i keep getting 2 good runs and then 1 fail. which SUCKS bc i need 3 passes in a row to sign off on it #and its so sensitive that changing even tiny things like using a different brand same volume beaker. or a 0.5cm longer flea #anyway i had another 2 good runs this week so this was my 3rd but bc its a friday afternoon im tired as fuck and keep making dumb mistakes #like overstirring it + one of my samples leaked which is soooo embarrassing bc ive already had to ask for more before bc its taken me- #almost 50 fucking attempts already #anyway. hour and a half into prep and im at the most crucial time sensitive part which is pipetting thr enzyme into the substrate #and i manage to do it all w even time spacing (u have to replicate the exact same pace at the end of the timer or it doesnt work) #and then realise id picked up a different identical model pipette that was set to half the volume i was meant to put in FUUUUCK #by that point i was like fuck it im almost 2 hours in and nothing else to do the rest of the day. so ill work around it + see what happens #i figured well its half the volume. so if i add the same half volume again at the 5 minute mark and leave it for 12.5 instead of 10 mins #then itll hydrolyse the substrate to the same degree. IN THEORY in practice this stuff never works bc of error margins etc #bearing in mind this js like 30 seconds of thought bc it took me a couple mins to realise what i did #but the thing abt working in a lab is u make these split second decisions constantly bc everything is so time sensitive #so u have to be quick thinking on ur feet #anyway long story short got to the end of the 3 hour process. which i was carrying out v sloppily bc the chances of it working were- #slim by that point lmao. but lo and behold it was completely fucking fine. all cvs less than 5% and averages <5% of spec #which is awesome bc it means after THREE MONTHS and like. 45x3 whats that AT LEAST 135 HOURS OF FOCUSED TIME ON IT #not counting attempts i gave up on halfway thru bc id alreaady fucked them up bad #i can FINALLY sign off on it lmfao. but im just so mad like why does it play these mind games with me. it shouldnt have worked #whatever chemistry is such a fickle stupid science. anyway wahoo weekend time baby #gorgeous weather here + im gonna get pizza on the way home...... maybe life doesnt suck sometimes 😇 #mutuals if ur still at work stay strong soldiers #.diaries

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#let me express to u perhaps The frustration of my life #i like to learn. it is perhaps my favorite thing. new information. more more more constantly #but. my fucking brain is the fucking worst. because im not fucking stupid if i can focus and process the words being said i can understand #many things. i like to learn about math and physics and chemistry and biology and anatomy... ect concepts #but the focus and the processing of words is where we have problems. because i cannot focus for more than like 5min #i blink and suddenly ive been spaced out for a sec and need to reorient. i cant prioritize what to do 1st and im constantly bouncing betwee #tasks so nothing ever gets done and im too intimidated to start learning things. and when im trying to learn we habe the processing words #problem. like my reading comprehension is so fucking bad. like i will read a book on paper and maybe retain 25% of the info if im not #hardcore trying. for a class where i had to do a ton of paper reading. i had to read everything out loud to myself. highlight important #info. write myself a summary based on the highlights and then read the paper again before i could even begin to feel comfortable in #discussions. it was so fucking frustrating and miserable. ppl will give me physical books and im like thanks i cant fucking read sorry #too fucking dyslexic. read and listen they say. u have to read and listen at the same time bc i cant pay attention and i cant read #so if i do both then maybe the info gets in. thats y i have to read aloud but i hate it and still get distracted #i mean. i probably just have an attention problem. its also really annoying that my short term working memory is so awful #bc in order to make things make sense i have to draw or write them out. i cant judt go off the top of my head or i get stuck saying thr sam #thing over and over and over. its like my ability to think is extremely shallow. but thrn i read papers and recognize concepts from classes #i took years ago and im like. fucking y cant i know what i know? my head feels so empty but info is in there somewhere #its just so fucking frustrating that i love understanding systems so much. complex annoying little systems that fit together like a puzzle #and my fucking brain refuses to accept the information im trying to get in there. so i return to a remark left on my dyslexia assignment: #intelligent when not constrained by language or time. thanks. unfortunately language is how ppl communicate #also i freak out under time pressure lol. anyway ive just been reading papers for fun this weekend and remembering y i dont: bc its agony #but also i fucking love the concepts so much and i need a good understanding of photosynthesis before August when i join a photosynthesis #lab lmao. ugh. i love learning but my brain was not buildmt #built for it. if only if only someone could podcast about the obscure things im interested in while reading directly from the source #unrelated #also its like 105 degrees plus. its too fucking hot out #thats like 40 degrees C. the sun is like a death ray

[lightthatibecome]

.

#i know its mt responsibility because if it wasnt then it no ones responsibility but theres a unique sort of pain that comes with losing one× #parent to suicide and drug addiction and be constantly terrifief that the other parent will end up the same fucking way #i dont want to have to be the one to worry about it anymore i wanna be able to ask mg mom to fucking help me but shes thr one i have to look #out for. i dont want to have fo fucking worry about this I DONT WANT TO LOSE ANOTHET FUCKING FAMILG MEMBER TO AN OVERDOSR #i dont want to do this i hate living in fear and never saying the fucking words aloud like if i address the fear that itll be a possibility #but i know i cant avoid it forever and im fucking breaking down. i dont want this to be another thing i have to worry ahout im so fucking #tired of this im so tired of being scared im so scared of losing my only living parejt to the same fucking thing #WHAT CAN I EVEN FUCKING DO #i pushed her to get help shes on methadone she has a counsellor but shes still using . we dont have the money for that right now #and i dont want to be controlling i donf want to have to control the finances and take away her cards i dont wanf to have to do that #but were going to lose the fucking house . and i know addiction is hard my god ive fuckign seen it i dont blame her BUT ITS SO FUCKING HARD #FOR ME TOO. ITS SO FUCKING HARD TO SEE HER GOING THROUGH THE THINGS I CAN ONYL ASSUME MY FATHER WAS FEELING #AND WORRYING THAT THE INEVITABLE OUTCOME IS THE SAME AS HIS . AND I WISH I COULDVE DONE SOMWTHIFN THEN BUT I WAS 3 #SO IM TRYING TO DO SOMETHING THIS TIME AROUND BUT ITS SO . FUCKING HARD #i dont blame her i dont but i am so tired i dong want to live like thid anymore

[redding]

my trainer asking me if i want to ride w her and the others when they don't remember to text me 😊😊😊

#ITS SO NICE like you thought abt me and remembered to ask!!!!! omg i occur to you outside of situations where we are in the same place!!! #like as much as ive been kinda upset at how ive been feeling w the others recently. theres a reason i like my trainer so much #she knows i want to go into thr industry so she goes out of her way to include me and teach me things when the opportunity shows up #its fucking dope love her #misc posts

[nightlilly0110]

“Rooster Teeth had a lot of issues as evidenced by the allegations past employees have come forward with” and “Warner Bros is fucking evil for axing an entire company and letting some of its employees find out via tweet” are statements that can and should coexist.

Like. It’s not some gotcha that RT is shutting down. It’s not some vindictive justice that this Big Bad Company is gone now. Projects are now canceled. People will be fired from their jobs. And because it’s Warner Bros. it’s only a matter of time before all those animation projects (RvB, RWBY, Camp Camp, every single episode of anything they made) is scrubbed off of the internet.

It’s gonna be the same thing that happened with HBO Max. It’s gonna be the same thing with the Coyote vs. Acme movie and Batgirl.

RT going down is not the thing you should be lording over people. RT going down should not be some ammo for your “RWBY is mid” takes. RT going down is not some “I always knew it was cringe” meme. Real people are gonna be effected by this. People will lose this jobs and will lose all the passion projects they worked on.

This is horrifying for the people involved in these projects and the state of animation itself. Warner Bros. only owned Rooster Teeth for 2 years. They bought them in 2022. Not even 2 full years. They didn’t even get a chance and they axed THE ENTIRE COMPANY. NOT JUST ONE SHOW. THE ENTIRE FUCKING COMPANY AND ALL ITS IPS. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. THIS IS NOT THR TIME FOR A FAN WAR.

#roosterteeth #rooster teeth #warner bros #warner brothers #rwby #red vs blue #rvb