#this should be fucking illegal tbh

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

like and reblog this post if you think the same brand of bluetooth headphones should be able to fit in the same case if you've lost one half of one pair and the case of another pair no longer charges bc the charging port is broken somehow bur you've got both headphones in that case. or that bluetooth phones should be able to connect to each other across brands as well so that if you have two pairs that have lost halves you can make a whole lmao

#life #about me #shut up ilona #this is just a callout post for myself mostlt #*mostly tbh #bc ive lost one half of my samsung buds (like my left ear) and one half of one pair of my cheapie buds (my right ear) #and i'd like to use those as a whole pair across brands bc idek where the other half of both pairs went.... #.....while i was sleeping with them in at diff times either late last year or earlier this year #and then i have another pair of cheapies but the charging port is fucked somehow so i cant charge them AT ALL #but theyre the same brand as the other cheapie pair so youd think theyd fit in the case of the other cheapie pair but they dont #and i have both sides of thr broken pair that i cant charge #this should be fucking illegal tbh #i dont want to spend ANOTHER fucking $30 on ANOTHER cheapie pair just to have the same of either thing happen #just make the same brand to be able to charge in different cases or across pairs and also across brands #my samsung buds were nearly $200 on top of my phone bill (and each month its an extra $16 to pay off) #so i should be able to use them across brands when theyre THAT expensive imo

[furiousdinosaurdestiny]

Damn, I know it’d never happen. But if I was dating Michael Sheen and was able to see him walking around the house dressed like this. We’re never leaving the house.

#michael sheen #aziraphale #well damn #so hot 🔥🔥🔥 #hot celebs #so hot and sexy #so hotttt #so hot it should be illegal #so hot omg #hot as hell #hornyposting #hot as fuck #so hot so hot #hot af tbh #hot male #ineffable lovers #ineffable husbands #ineffable spouses #ineffible husbands #good ineffable omens #ineffable fandom

[todayisafridaynight]

i made refs for myself solely for color picking and so i remember how i draw daigo’s pants and im too busy cackling at daigo In General when put in between these two

#daigo dojima #masato arakawa #yoshitaka mine #snap sketches #snap chats #Spot My Fave (IMPOSSIBLE) #listen... if rgg didnt want to go all out with daigo then i will. Maybe. #i couldve done more tbh but i mean i draw him with piercings on one ear so you cant even see that #i fight god every day trying to decide whether i should give him a collar or not but i think that'd be overkill so i dont #i also have a ref sheet for their 'iconic' looks but i just wanted to share this one cause daigo's so funny #he's like a horrible mash up of mine and masato #speaking of tho i dont like drawing masato standing. feels wrong- illegal even i just need to properly see everything #but yeah no i love how i only fuck with daigo's design so heavily #like masato is literally almost the perfect corp goth to me as he is i dont wanna touch him #but daigo... cmon son i know you got more bullshit in you... #anyway thats it for this ramble. im gonna go draw somethin silly with mine and aoki now cause i realized somethin while drawin

[chaserofstarsandtheabyss]

Mother stop calling me your “biological daughter” challenge and using that to explain why you’re so upset at trans women competing in sports (impossible)

#I have watched videos and read essays on white feminism and Jesus fucking Christ my mom was hitting like every fragile point #it’s so UNFAIR when trans women compete in sports :(( #as the mother to a BiOloGiCal DaUgHTEr #like shut the fuck up #I’m just like … I don’t actually care if trans women compete tbh #and her just going like ‘well I don’t think it should be used against Those women in that particular case’ #when I argue that is disproportionately affects black womeb #or her obviously not believing me when I say that trans women face harder difficulties than she probably does #like it does not matter that you don’t think the rules should be used in that way #they WILL be used in a way that is detrimental to women and they have more so than your hypotheticals #I swear to god it’s the same argument for abortion #‘well I do think a woman should have an abortion if carrying pregnancy could be harmful to her but not other women’ #if it’s illegal it WILL be used against that woman #how can you not see that #like the law will be used in a way that’s demeaning to women #but because it’s not the women you care about it doesn’t matter #also side note #and completely unrelated #can she stop implying that I’m less beautiful or don’t want to be beautiful because I’m transmasc #that would be great

[amber-and-dean]

Cheapest OF there is! Cum and see for yourself… 😍

#real breasts #hot breast #perfect breast #massive breasts #sexy breast #gigantic breasts #great breasts #giant breasts #lovely breasts #so hot i cant #so hot omg #so hot 🔥🔥🔥 #so hot and sexy #so hotttt #so hot so hot #so hot wtf #so hot it should be illegal #so hot though #hot af tbh #hot as fuck #hot nude #hot as hell #sexy content #sexy titts

[dipyronegirl]

i have once again been discriminated against for my accent

#i’m kidding it’s not discrimination at all it’s just #i live in rio de janeiro right. and we have a very specific accent that’s different from all other states #we drag our sentences (so it sounds a bit lazy??) and we pronounce our S like an X #like. take the word ‘bolas’ (balls). we say bolash while literally every other state just says bolas like the S in the word ‘say’ #anyway. our accent makes us sound like players somehow; it’s hard to explain #and the carioca (means from rio) stereotype is that we always find shortcuts to everything; to get what we want without working for it #and it’s partially true tbh #but for some reason (i have no idea why) my accent specifically is very very strong (& i only found out ab it a few weeks ago) #and it makes me sound even more of a ‘player’. i asked ppl to be honest w me ab it and they said i sound like #a drug dealer or someone ‘shady’ that works w something illegal #and like i’m lazy and don’t care ab anything and maybe don’t take things seriously #and i mean all of it is true. kind of #but it’s shit that ppl can guess all my flaws just bc of my accent #sorry im rambling i’m so annoyed by this. i’d change if i could but idk how to speak differently fr #and ab my flaws. well i know i /can/ change them but idk how. i’m trying and i hope i become less lazy and more interested in serious thing #(cause yk. my biggest flaw is that i can’t bring myself to give a fuck ab the things i should care ab like responsibilities and shit) #god i’m rambling again im just so ughhh #text #giocore #about me #language

[gayjaytodd]

.

#I am now seeing people on twitter being like #pro-russia??? bc ukraine is racist #which like. yeah absolutely ukraine is as racist as any other western(adjacent) nation #but like. you think fucking *russia* is the good guy here??? #the country being governed by literal dictator vlad putin #the country in which people who criticise the government routinely die under mysterious circumstances #the country where being queer is literally illegal #that fucking country?? really??? #fucking twitter leftists fr #they're the fucking worst #same freaks who comment on any tweet from a jew any antisemitism with 'only palestinians have to hide their ethnicity' #I should delete twitter tbh

[2truehearts]

I hope you received Ayatos hug and also mine now!!

Hugs you tightly and never lets you go <33❤️❤️

I love you 💞💞

IVE BEEN SCREAMUNG FOR THE PAST MINUTE BC I DID OMG VI IM SISVSJSJJSVSKDVSMSGAKHSJSBDY

HUGS U BACK AND PATS UR BACK I LOVE U TOOOO 💕💕💕‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

#asks* #vi / my sweeting sea* #i realize i have not written for baizhu and updated the doc yet in like. a month so i am on it and will be back w a drabble #np promises tho bc i am exhuasted and need to finish aly’s and mika’s event stuff skdbdkndkmd #but i am gonna sleep now #5AM should be a time that is illegal to be waking up at tbh let alone dragginng a fucking suitcase across five different train stations #heueheuhehw gn vi mwa love uuu 💕💕💕

[slutdge]

my friend had cherry flavored whiskey last night and it tasted... fine. but i woke up this morning and my whole mouth tasted like cough syrup and no matter how much water i drink or how much i brush my teeth it wont go away so. dont drink cherry flavored whiskey no matter how good it tastes initially.

#like im not even hungover like. i only had 6 beers and 3 shots of that whiskey. #and i drank a shit load of water before i went to bed #but still. my mouth tastes like cherry cough syrup 🤮🤮🤮 #cherry flavoring should be illegal tbh i only drank it bc it was the only hard there was #fuck cherry flavor all my homies hate cherry flavor

[furiousdinosaurdestiny]

Things are about to get down and dirty in that chair with him dressed like that and sitting like that

#michael sheen #aziraphale #hot male #so hot and sexy #hot af tbh #hot celebs #hot as hell #so hot omg #so hot so hot #so hot 🔥🔥🔥 #so hot it should be illegal #hot as fuck #so hotttt #hornyposting

[todayisafridaynight]

If you had to choose between banging Aoki and banging Mine, which would you bang?

oh you're all gonna hate me

#these tags are vile dont look in here #snap chats #anyway aoki SORRY #the question of 'who and who not to bang' is a scientific one we have to look at the pros and cons #just feels illegal to want to fuck mine. daigo should be the only one fucking him and vice versa like im not a homewrecker #i am a hole wrecker tho and aoki's free real estate Move Over Im Bouta Get It #it'll be like the fourth time i mentioned it but masato and aoki's fuckability ranges and it's really funny #like masato is fuckable Because He's Fuckable like. he's just attractive Period #aoki's not ugly at all but he doesn't have the same appeal but he does have appeal to my ill brain #like it was the moment i saw him stomp his foot when he missed an attack and throw a fit that i was like 'oh no i have to fuck him' #LIKE ITS SO FUNNY AND PATHETIC LIKE i just know hed cry #not even an attraction thing just solely like. i cant even explain it #im in psychology rn and they are not telling me why i would fuck a character who is not fuckable. Sad! #not to say he doesnt have his cunty moments too like tbh SOMETIMES. i did play this game and go Eyo #sorry everyone the cats out of the bag id fuck the governor #i dont htink it was that much of a secret LMAOOOOOO #sorry.

[redrockbutch]

how is it legal to have the vegas sphere that close to major roadways

#this is rhetorical im saying it shouldnt be thats fucking wild #cassidy.txt #advertising to people who are driving should be illegal in general tbh #'ohh dont listen to your music you should crash. hey look at this man the size of a building and think about something else. ok drive safe! #'ok look at this company trying to go viral. OKAY DRIVE. STOP LISTENING TO MUSIC.' #i meant could instead of should but im not changing it

[running-with-kn1ves]

Congrats on 5k!!! Can we get the possessive facetime bf and "you should have known better than to cheat on me" please :D

A/N: Thank you! And tbh I made this a smutty smut smut as well b/c i feel like this is how possessive bf would handle the situation. Aka poorly.

CW: dubcon NSFW, gagging & bondage, penetration (GN Reader), reader flirts w/ someone else, reader & possessive bf originally both intoxicated

It was too late for this. Or maybe, too early. You lost track of time long ago, glowy green numbers on your alarm clock reading 1:45 AM when you first stumbled back home with the pissed drunkard beside you, dragging you inside by your arm. You were practically sober now, your headache screaming as you felt the blissful simplicity of being tipsy leave your throat. You wish you drank more, did something more outrageous than give some stranger your number. Maybe you should’ve kissed him, should’ve stuck your hand down his pants instead of batting your eyelashes. Maybe then, you wouldn’t have to face your boyfriend’s wrath-- he’d have been too heartbroken to even think of reprimanding you. 

But it didn’t matter now, not when he decided to deprive you of your senses while pumping round after round inside of you. It was a form of white torture, he hystericaly answered when your arms were jerked behind you, tied with what you thought might’ve been a makeshift restraint or a necktie, but was instead harsh braided rope meant for cattle or ransom victims. It scratched your wrists as he pulled your head back by a fistful of hair, promising that “you’ll be begging for his forgiveness by the end of this.”

With the blindfold he seemed much too prepared to have wrapped around your eyes, Malachi ripped off your skimpy underwear meant for the club, stuffing it in your mouth and narrowly avoiding your biting teeth. 

When you both went to celebrate his cousin’s birthday party at a nightclub, you had partly decided to ignore him for treating you so possessively the past month, logic being thrown out the window with the sudden accompaniment of lemon drop shots and a handsome stranger showing you more interest than your jealous, pissed off boyfriend had in ages. You felt wanted, desired. It was nice, even when you felt daggers in your back, and a tugging hand on your shoulder every five minutes. The last straw was when you wrote your scribbled, illegible phone number on the strangers’ arm. 

Saying Malachi was enraged was an understatement. You were jerked away, stumbling and laughing as you blew a kiss to your midnight affair. Did you want more? You didn’t know. All you knew, is you wanted a fun night out without having to cater to your obsessive boyfriend’s every need. You wanted to feel sexy, lusted after. 

But maybe you should’ve pulled that stunt at a time when Malachi wasn’t around. Then, you wouldn’t be sobbing behind the gag, hearing the wet squelches of cock being bullied inside of you. Your insides felt bruised, nipples tugged and bitten as Malachi slamed in, in, in from below. 

Normally, you’d have the power when sitting on top of him, grinding and allowing him to lay limp. But with your thighs spread apart on his flank, hands against your ass and every sense blurred, he thrusted into you as you barely held yourself up. 

“This.. is.. what.. you get--!” He huffed, snarling as he slapped the growing welt on your ass cheek. You heard his gasped gag, hips stuttering with his broken orgasm splaying inside of you. 

Which orgasm was this? You couldn’t remember, the vibrating toy milking out your sweet spot still going as a mixture of clear-white came to coat Malachi’s dick. He hadn’t eased you in, hadn’t given into the foreplay he’d usually tease you with, even when he normally hate-fucked you. 

“You know better..hng, been taught, time, and time again… hah,” You tried to squeeze your legs shut to keep him out, but the hands keeping you lifted moved to violently pull your knees apart. You fell onto his chest with a choke, the sweat dripping from your cheeks mixing with the caked layer on his chest. “You’re just making it too easy for me to punish you, huh?”

You muffled through the gag, prating incomprehensibly as the painful overstim of your lower half was worsened by this new, weak position. 

Malachi lazily rutted up into you while coming off his high, pressing your hips down each time to enter deeper. He always went to the hilt of his cock, so deep inside that it made your walls ache and splinter. 

“I’d almost say you’re a masochist fr’me,” He panted, lifting you by the jaw to look into his eyes. “ Wanna be pounded by me for flirting with other guys, cheatin like a common streetwalker, mm’?”

You shook your head, unable to see him but knowing those green eyes were boring into you. 

“Seems like you still don’t fucking get it then. Well, we’ll be here until you do.” 

The gag was pushed deeper down your throat with his thumb, hips rising as he let go of spreading your cheeks to stabilize you. Skin smacked against skin as he pounded up, letting your poor hips fall each time he burrowed out. 

“I can’t!” You muffled, the tight pain of another rising orgasm coming beginning to blind you. You couldn’t take this one, your body wouldn’t be able to handle it. 

Attempting to slide off, you tried to maneuver your legs away, arms still bound as you struggled to inch off of him. If he was as tired as you, maybe you’d get a chance away. 

“Oh no you don’t,” He growled, digging blunt nails into the fat of your thighs with one hand, while the other tugged at your scalp. “Think you get to rest? Get a chance to relax after cheating on me?”

The encircling vibrator was turned up tenfold with the sudden drop of your hair, fingers moving to tug at your ear. “No way, not leaving until I THINK you’ve suffered enough.” 

Malachi got close, licking a long stripe inside its canal as he jutted into your weeping entrance faster. The squeaks of the mattress made you cringe, hearing the wetness of his cum layering between your ass and thighs, falling to the sweaty sheets. 

His heaves for air grew louder, pushing your shoulders back to force you upright again. You still slouched, even with Malachi’s arm tugging your restrained hands down backwards. 

“Gonna take my cock like the.. Hungry whore you’ve been..take it till you’re sorry. And even then, Hah…” He laughed, a pissed and out of breath laugh that made him work harder to bruise your furiously drenched hole. “--still won’t stop cumming inside of you.”

You could only crack a groan each time his hips snapped up, in rhythm with his movement as you felt the vibrator bring you to the brink of another painful, consuming orgasm. Tears and drool dripped from your face alike as you prayed for him to nearly have his fix, lest you pass out from the ecstasy and suffering of another round. Atleast it wasn’t another painful edge session, your hazy mind tried to comprehend. Though at this point, you wondered if that’d have been better. 

“Waz.. Mnph, Drunk..” You tried to choke from the bundled up gag, hoping maybe he’d offer you some sympathy out of your previous lack of inhibition. 

“Sorry, baby. Doesn’t matter, still actin like you wanna fuck other guys n’ front of me,” He circled his hips upward, watching as your already open mouth created a sweet ‘O.’ You couldn’t help the noises you released anymore, not when he used what you liked and abused it--  but your moans seemed to satisfy Malachi.  “But you ready to say you’re sorry? Make it up to me, yeah?”

You nodded your head erratically,, wanting this to end no matter what you had to do. You were exhausted, the lessening vibrator making you sigh in relief despite the aching bruising still inflamed by the plunging cock hilted inside of you.

“Awe, you’re so cute. It’s not enough, though. Say sorry all you want, I wanna hear you.” The evil trick of the calming vibrator had snuffed your awareness, making you jolt when it was snapped back to a level 10. “But I’m not letting you off the hook when you still got so much left to pay for.”

#writing #x reader #self insert #reader insert #yandere x reader #male yandere #yandere imagines #yandere boy #yandere male #yandere boyfriend #yandere aesthetic #yandere oc x reader #yandere smut #yandere #yandere writing #yandere x y/n #yanderecore #yandere x darling #tw yandere #yandere x you #yandere scenarios #yandere nsft #imagine #gn reader smut #gn reader #possessive x reader #possessive yandere #obsessive yandere #bd/sm kink

[luvyeni]

I love ur work sm oml. The way it has me giggling should be illegal tbh.💕🤭

But I was wondering, what if you were giving a stray kids member a bj and decided to spice it up? Like suck on a ice cube for a bit the suck on them with the ice cube still in the mouth?

I personally see this being done w Jisung or Hyunjin<3

thank you for reading my works <3!

"is this a good idea." jisung's pants were pooled by his ankles , his already hard cock straining against his boxers , begging to be freed. "i know it is sungie , you'll feel real good , i promise." he nodded , letting you pull his boxers down , his cock slapping against his stomach.

you picked up a ice cube from the cup , putting it in your mouth , letting it melt in your mouth a little , before you grab the base of his cock , letting the cold water drip down on his cock. "oh-of fuck it's cold." you smiled , before taking him all the way in your mouth.

the cold sensation from your mouth made his sensitivity levels rise from 100 to 1000 real quick. "sh-shit , i don't think im gonna last long." he moaned , you hum , twisting your hand , jerking off what you couldn't fit in your mouth.

you let the ice cube glide across the vein of his cock , making him moan loudly. "oh my fuck- oh my god that feels so good." he tried not to buck up into your mouth , but all his sensibility went out the window when you used your tongue to move the ice cube to his slit. "fu-fuck , fuck baby if you don't move it , im gonna cum." he whimpered , thrashing against the couch.

you didn't listen , pressing down on slit with the ice again. "fuck im gonna cum , im gonna cum." he repeated his mind going blank , moaning and groaning loudly. "ngh , fuck in cumming!" you squeezed his cock , his cum filling your mouth.

"goddamn" you released his cock with a pop , swallowing his sticky load. "fuck , that felt so good." he breathed.

"lay down so i can do it on you now , i wanna see you squirm went the ice touches your clit."

#luvyeni: skz hard thoughts #skz hard hours #stray kids hard hours #stray kids smut #skz hard thoughts #stray kids hard thoughts #stray kids x reader #skz smut #stray kids scenarios #stray kids drabbles #skz scenarios #skz drabbles #han jisung headcanons #han jisung smut #han jisung scenarios #han jisung x reader #han jisung imagines #han jisung drabbles #han jisung hard thoughts #han jisung hard hours

[yurinika]

I would be smiling listening to a YV character while doing something then just hear that specific glitching noise that indicates source!Finn or indicates that that character is a dreamer and my face just falls and my smile becomes a full blown frown.

I don't hate source!Finn tbh I don't even remember why I had beef with him but if that blond meddling mage comes to my dreams again like a vision of a prophet I will fucking lose my mind.

Also tbh no one should be allowed with this much face card

(art credits goes to @jackieeleanor)

Tell me a character that will look this good popping up at the back of a FedEx truck randomly looking all edgy and shit.

I don't know if I wanna wrap my hand around his neck aggressively or seductively and that makes this whole thing funny cause LOOK AT HIM!!!THE FACE CARD HE'S SERVING SHOULD BE ILLEGAL!!!

Tbh whenever I get clues to know that a YV character is a dreamer or a possible one I just automatically think of angst!

#IF I SEE HIM IN MY SLEEP AGAIN I'M THROWING HANDS #honestly though #I love every version of finn #Souce!finn just makes me absolutely feral good way and bad #yuurivoice #yuriks 3am shenanigans #yuurivoice finn #yuurivoice source!finn #yurik rambles #yurinika rants

[mixelation]

wait wait wait. so if tori maybe gets to be hokage in toxicity/reborn au au. and shes married to itachi. does this make TORI the first uchiha hokage. obito how u feelin

it would, yes, technically.... TECHNICALLY

tbh i think obito's feelings on it would be a little insane but not in a bad way. by now he's pretty disillusioned with the entire village system, and the only reason he hasn't just dropped a bijuu on konoha is because he decided minato is fine and probably it would make rin sad. so he remembers wanting to be hokage but he's no longer tied to that dream-- if he became hokage, he would just fuck up the village on purpose for shits and giggles. so the end result is that tori being hokage is just. THE funniest thing that could possibly happen. he loves it. AND minato waited until after she'd wed and changed her name to announce it? hilarious. this is the gift that keeps on giving

tbh i think in the interim between the announcement and tori being officially inaugurated (i'm imagining at least a year or two of her shadowing minato) there's a shit ton of debates within the clan. like. is it GOOD she has their name or should they make her change it back....? is itachi even allowed to stay clan leader? what's going on

(itachi himself is completely ambivalent. i think he secretly wants to be a kept husband. this will do nothing to slow him down from doing itachi things but he likes the fantasy of being domestic and having his only responsibility be taking care of his wife and their illegal baby. you're worried the uchiha clan head will be secretly puppeteering the hokage? i mean he will try but also he thinks he's just being a family man)

#reborn au au: it's gotten sillier