#its so fuckin rude an creepy

[lilacsbeeswax]

Would you do one with either Mattheo or Theo where they have been dating a hufflepuff but not a lot of people expect their friends know. She was invited to their common room ti study or something and some slytherins refuse to let a “loss little puff” in their house until one of them comes to recuse her? Of course the boy would be mad and you can choose if their will be violence and she patches him up or he just tells them off and they go cuddle and he apologizes

Protector

Pairing: Mattheo Riddle x fem!reader

Fluff

Warnings: Bullying (?), Mocking, Creepy Behavior, Light Swearing, Unedited

Notes: Thank you for the request! I hope you enjoy! 💕💕

MASTERLIST

——-

After class dismissed, I rushed off to Mattheo’s table to say, “Hey Mattheo, I missed you.”

“Hello there darling. Meet me in the common room after dinner rush and we’ll study together, yeah?” Mattheo asked quickly as he grabbed his stuff for his next class.

“Okay!” I replied, looking around to see if there were people still left in the classroom before pulling him into a chaste kiss. “I’ll see you then.”

He smiled, “See you.”

——-

I stepped up to the bare stretch of the dungeon wall and quickly whispered the password. The wall began to ripple and disappear unveiling the dark Slytherin common room. It was the polar opposite of the bright yellow Hufflepuff common room that I was used to. Instead it was dark green and silver. The marble walls gave the room such an elegant appearance and the windows out to the Black Lake made it almost hauntingly beautiful.

I had expected no one to be here because just before dinner people normally are in their dorms or in the library. Considering it was a bright sunny day, it was even more shocking. It’s normally gloomy in Scotland this time of year.

Unfortunately for me, two teen boys in bright emerald ties were staring right at me as I walked through the wall. I looked around for Mattheo but he was nowhere to be found.

The boys swaggered up to me with large egotistical smirks on their faces. “Well would you look over here Rowle… we’ve gotta ourselves a lost little puff.” One boy said.

I attempted to ignore the boys and push myself toward the common room tables.

“Aw, would you look at that Travers? Little puff’s trying to run away!” Rowle mocked as the two tried to corral me into the corner.

“She’s a pretty one, isn’t she?” Travers remarked, grabbing a lock of my hair and twirling it.

Anger shot through me and I hit his hand away. I kept my tone even and said, “Get the fuck away from me.”

“Oh she’s got a mouth on her. Doesn’t matter though, I know a way I could shut her up…” Rowle smiled.

“She told you to get away from her.” Mattheo’s voice rang out from behind the boys. “And I would respect that, if you don’t want me to get involved.”

The boys eyes grew wide as the quickly spun around. “Oh uhm… hey Riddle, this little puff got lost we were just helping her.” Travers stuttered through his sentence.

“Didn’t sound like you were just helping her, either way get the hell out of her way. Now.” Mattheo demanded.

“Why do you care so much, Riddle?” Rowle asked angrily as he stepped away giving me room to walk toward Mattheo.

“Don’t see why that fuckin’ matters, Rowle.” Mattheo seethed as he grabbed my hand. “I don’t want to see you two or any of your friends messing with my girl again, got it?”

He didn’t wait for a reply and quickly pushed me in front of him and walked toward the dormitories.

“Rowle and Travers are in for a rude awakening tomorrow morning. Did they touch you? Did they hurt you?”

“They didn’t hurt me, I think they were just trying to scare me away. Travers touched my hair but that’s it.” I replied, while trying to keep up with his fast walking pace.

He stopped walking, lightly held my shoulders, and said, “Still I should’ve been there waiting for you so no one would mess with you. I’m so sorry, darling.”

I looked into his eyes and replied, “Its okay, Mattheo, I love you.”

“I love you too, Y/n.” He pulled me into a kiss and all I felt was love.

——-

MASTERLIST

#mattheo x reader #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo x you #mattheo x y/n #fluff #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter

[tamakishoochie]

Fuck Buddies ‘Till The End

MDNI, 18+

CW: dolls, creampie, knife play

Word count: 🗿

A/N: Blair is a horror OC of mine, based off the Blair Witch Project👍🏾

Chucky!Bakugo x Black!Reader

“Oh, very funny Blair.”

You mumble underneath your breath after opening a package your best friend sent you for your birthday. Inside of the box was a beat-up-looking Good Guy Bakugo doll that had about three stitches on its face.

“When I said I wanted a sex doll for my birthday I didn’t mean this. It’s fuckin’ creepy.”

Dolls were never really your thing, even as a little girl because of how eerie and weird they looked. Looking closer at the doll’s face, you examine its features. It was a cute doll, handsome even, but it still creeped you out for some reason.

“Well, until I figure out what to do with you, you’re staying in my closet.” You say while standing up from your kitchen table and making a beeline to your room. Afterward, you come back to indulge yourself in some of your birthday cake.

Birthdays weren’t as fun to celebrate anymore, so you decide to just go ahead and call it a night. You were tired anyway and had dinner planned with your boyfriend tomorrow so you needed beauty sleep. Following your shower, you brush your teeth and slip your bonnet on before heading back to your bedroom.

The sound of something falling in your closet stops you from climbing into bed and you go to check it out, only to find that the doll was holding a pair of your panties in one hand and a knife in the other.

“That’s...strange.”

You cautiously take the knife from the doll first and then your underwear. A shiver runs up and down your spine because you felt something was off. Taking the knife back into the kitchen, you place it back in the knife holder and go straight to your room again. When you get there, you slowly open your closet again to make sure nothing else was out of place. What you saw made your heart jump up in your throat.

It was your doll alright, but he was taller, WAY taller, almost hitting 6 feet. His eyes were glowing red and a malicious grin grew on his plastic face.

“Hi, I’m Katsuki. Wanna play?~”

With a quickness, you close your door as fast as you could but he was faster and stronger than you, easily shoving the door back open with one hand, making you fall over. You watch closely as the freakishly tall, ash-blond doll pulls another knife out from his back pocket.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t gut you like a fish right fuckin’ now?”

His voice was gruff and deep and it strangely sent butterflies to your stomach and made your coochie twitch. The doll moved closer to you, impatient for your answer, and you backed yourself up on your bed.

“My birthday… it’s my birthday today..” You mentally facepalmed after letting that leave your mouth. Killers don’t care if it’s your birthday. You were a goner.

To your surprise, he stopped right in front of you and he looked as if he’d just had an idea.

“Your birthday, huh? I can’t hurt a dame like you on her birthday, that’d be just plain rude..”

Licking his lips, he places his knife between his teeth before grabbing your thighs and pulls you to the edge of the bed. With that same knife, he cuts your pajama shorts off, revealing your panties to him.

He wasn’t very patient, already tonguing your pussy through your underwear and teasing your clit with his teeth. You gasp and close your legs, but he forces them open with strong hands.

You moan out with your eyes closed, focusing on nothing but his mouth. If your panties weren’t drenched before, they were now.

Bakugo trailed the tip of his knife up against your inner thigh, sending shivers up and down your spine, until he reached the hem of your underwear, ripping those off as well.

The heat from your sopping wet cunt against his face made something snap inside of him. He folds you, lifting your ass in the air, knees touching the bed on either side of your head, so that you were looking up at him as he ravaged your pussy.

You whimper after watching him spit onto it right before diving in, giving your pussy long, rough licks. He stares you down, never breaking eye contact with you while shaking his head from side to side, tongue deep between your gummy walls and his nose pressed firmly against your clit, making tears of pleasure prick at the corners of your eyes.

When he finally lets you go, a string of saliva connects from your pussy to his lips. You panted heavily and noticed the large bulge in his overalls.

“Y’wanna undo them for me, sweet thing?~ It’s getting kinda tight in this~..”

You scramble to your hands and knees, fumbling with the buttons until you could get them loose. They drop to his ankles and his size makes you want him inside of you even more. You reach out to it, but he slaps your hand away.

“Nuh uh, maybe another time. Right now, I’m makin’ you my bitch~..”

He makes you turn around, pushing your face into the mattress with your ass up for him. Reaching around, he shoves his middle and ring fingers into your mouth before inserting his cock inside of you, stopping halfway.

“Fuck, you’re tight, baby~..” Gripping your hip firmly, he shoves the rest in, making you see stars. Your moans were muffled by his fingers while he gave you rough hip thrusts, hard enough to rock the entire bed.

“O-oh, oh fuck..wai..” You reach behind and place your hand on his hip to try and make him slow down, but he wouldn’t. Instead, he pins your arm against your back. You didn’t even try to struggle, the pleasure from the tip of his dick kissing your womb and his balls slapping against your clit made you forget about the situation you were in. He loved the way your juices gushed around him, so warm and slippery.

Leaning down against your back, he puts you in a headlock, making you immobile. He nips at your earlobe before whispering in your ear.

“That boyfriend of yours don’t fuck you like this, does he? Who’s making this fuckin’ pussy cream, huh?~”

You were too dumb and cock drunk to answer any of his questions.

“Plea..c-cum..cumming..” You manage to cry out and that only motivated him to go even harder.

To keep his shirt from getting in the way, Bakugo holds the bottom of it up with his teeth. With both hands, he presses you down further into the mattress with his thumbs placed over your cute back dimples. He growls out a quick ‘Come on’ while pounding into your pussy ruthlessly, inching closer to his orgasm.

“There it is, fuck!~”

After a few more hard thrusts, you feel him spill his nut inside of you and he clenches his teeth as he feels your gummy walls clamp down around him, the two of you sharing an orgasm.

Both of your fluids puddle and mix with each other underneath you.

With you still on his dick, he lifts you up and nuzzles the nook of your neck with his nose, his hand gripping your throat gently.

You went through at least two more rounds with him until he couldn’t get anything else out of you.

You had to remember to thank Blair later for the gift

#horror au #horror villain au #Chucky Bakugo #curse of chucky #x black reader #mha #bnha #tw: smut #jordy writes ✍🏾

[tainted-sweet-meats]

I saw a post today that I didn't want to like..yuh know fuckin hijack cause I saw an artist talk about it. but I wanted to talk about it cause I've had folks unintentionally do stuff in my favor that I didn't appreciate. I've spoken about it on my facebook but not here. I notice this happens way too much and I beg you do not confront me that someone is copying my style... I have been around since the 2000's online. I have had many claim my art, topics, and style inspire them... yes pple will nip from me cause I inspire them and I'm okay with that. As long as no one is being racist towards me and my work I don't care. I'm happy I can inspire others in such a manner..do not go under their art going "this looks like tainted sweet meats art"..its rude af and personally if I see you do it I won't tolerate that and most likely comment on that post congratulating the artist’s work and make you look like a fool ( I’m very petty on that front).I also teach folks paid art classes privately online and the ones I teach under my wings as an apprentice will have styles like mine... THIS IS ON PURPOSE... so cut it tf out... On said post I understood where the artist was coming from about just being used as an inspo resource rather than treated as an artist. An it took me so long to realize what folks were doing when inspired by me cause I was so used to getting white folks be super racist with my my art and extremely fetishy race wise with me in the art community that I couldn't tell the difference if this was like genuine inspo or like are you poppin your rocks off at the fact that a lot of my art is asian/black coded. If that yuh know *spice* was something you can sell off me type thing as yuh brand. Cause I've had it happen where folks copy my work and even one creepy artist stalked me for years ripping my ocs to resell them as “urban adopts” and mentally I didn’t see that as inspo an was like damn just hard R me and get it over with at that point. It was kinda wild.( dont worry tho that artist was quickly called out by black twitter for some racist stuff they drew..like making a black vamp oc getting hung...woo boi...that was...that was something. hoooooooweeeever, I did notice it triggered others in the past when I spoke about it to target folks who just genuinely loved me and my work and that made me feel a bit protective over folks who just enjoyed my work and I inspired them to draw.  I think in my older age I can tell the difference very quickly and don't mind folks getting inspired by my work as long as racism and fetish aint the reason cause at that point I wouldn't see that as art inspo just plain overall disrespect to me as a person. Wanted to say a thing cause damn I felt that post and understood it. but this is just for me tho and my experience... every artist is different.

#its about inspo #asmtsm rambles #I dont think I'll ever forget that one racist artist at all...and the racism aint end with me she did it to a lot of folks #just glad she exposed her ass that normie black twitter yanked her weave back like got damn #it really be those columbus syndrome niggas I be lookin at sideways fr #also if you dont know what columbus sydrome means its just an art term for like white artists who yoink from bipoc knowing damn well they #make a profit off of nonwhite material doing zero research on our culture or background environment #making racist stereotype art or just trying to claim shit knowing they know nothing about us its very blatant too

[thegeminisage]

the inside of the shrine is sooo different...all the sheikah tech has just been SCRUBBED from this game it's so weird

the water here heals me like a hot spring though 😭

and there's a hole to go deeper in!

YIGA BANNER IN HERE??? HELLO????

HOLY FUCK

there's a lone banana in the middle of a room and a cowering construct who won't talk to me bc it senses an enemy this IS a trap. PLEASE be master kohga

okay lame it was just one guy. that could have been epic my heart was fucking jackhammering

this construct told me to visit the great abandoned central mine and it's the second one that did so. i think maybe thats how i get autobuild? ugh i'd love to find it but the map down there is so big and scary......

i suppose i should be looking for this gate...i KNOW i used to know...

could it be where that big pond was??? that's where the biggest chasm is, maybe i'll head there first...

oh my god there's a PERSON here?

lmao i thought it was a cece fangirl but it's: you guessed it: a yiga

died to a nearby bokoblin and had to refight her lol

man this all looks SO different, it's nuts....

i think i'm at the agte but i don't see a way to help anyone trapped underwater...this is creepy, the whole plateau kind of swings between nostalgia and uneasiness

oh! there's rocks down at ground level! you can drain the pond to get in aaaaa

this must be bc there's no fast travel points i've found so far lol

i found a statue that looks like the poe statue and it wants me to go BACK to the temple of time? bro i just walked all this way lol

WILD to be at the bottom of this pond tho.

oh my god i almost WENT IN THE CHASM without doing this quest. the statue wants me to check out all the holes!

it wants me to drop one of its EYES into each hole. yikes

aww my old paraglider fabric is in the chest where i got the original paraglider

wasn't really sure what these eyes were supposed to look like but they glow so you cant miss em

i was gonna go in and check it out, but...maybe i'll drop all the eyes first :/

unreal that there's not a single fast travel point or shrine in this whole place. fucking crazy

weeeeird to be in the abbey without the guardians. i don't like it

found another yiga lol

oh no the old man's cabin!!!!! taken over by monsters :(

it's weird how much i hate king rhoam but feel fond of the old man even though theyre the same. fuckign guy. dissonance.............

no omg by YIGA!!!!!

holy shit. if i hadnt had two sages and some defensive food i wouldve been done for

awww they had a hostage! i saved him and he gave me a yiga mask lol

oooh a map of yiga hideouts...i took a picture for later >:) i won't get ambushed again

a yiga clan log...theyve developed new vehicles lol gloomdredger and HOVERDOOM mk 3. yes, with caps! lol i forgot they were doing the chasm thing now...

rude drawing of link on the door. REALLY good

oh wah another rainbow...right after it vanished farosh flew by. fuckin metal

three eyes down, one to go.......

the monument is still on top of the mountain 🥺 lol and of course there's a korok seed up here. glad i didnt make the climb for nothing at least

last eye down. apparently now i jump, and carry them to their owner :|

#personal #loz blogging #totk lb #totk spoilers #i'm gonna fucjing die.

[anhed-nia]

I complain about fandom shit a lot, and while it's true that I don't like its unpleasant melange of being extremely infantile and extremely horny at the same time, I also think it's actually disrespectful to the content. By and large, movies and shows are stories that a group of people came together to tell. Fictional characters are story elements that have been devised to deliver a certain meaning--the entirety of which is bounded by the narrative as it was written. The characters are joined by other artificial elements like photography, music, sets, sociopolitical context, and so forth, to provide the richest, most convincing version of the message that the authors of the production are trying to convey to you. All of this is very deliberate and takes a lot of hard work and, usually, belief in what the creators are trying to say. When you decontextualize the characters, or filter out everything in your perception except for what's sexy to you, it kind of sucks. I mean, no one can stop you, that's for sure, but it's extremely limiting and maybe even rude.

Why not just watch porn if that's your deal? I once saw this long, creepy thread where a bunch of little fandom dweebs were saying that books should be merchandised not only with accepted genres, but with subgenres that describe what kind of dick-hardening material can be extracted from the story, i.e. slowburn, enemies to lovers, "and there was only one bed!", etc. They all seemed to think that this was a great idea for just, like, literature in general, as if it's not incredibly weird to have every single piece of media indexed by how you can potentially masturbate to it. I feel like if I went to the trouble to research and write and publish, like, a historical drama on a theme that meant something to me, I'd be horrified if I saw it in the bookstore and in between the genre designation and the barcode it said something like "It's not in the story, but it would be hot if the two step brothers kissed."

I'm being all cantankerous about this today because I stupidly went to look for RRR-related things to reblog on tumblr dot com, and of course it's all just a bunch of needy babyish garbage that reframes everything in this gorgeous, moving, surreal, anti-colonialist fable as just a bunch of throbbing foreplay between the two leads. That said, if I'm being totally honest, I don't blame anyone for wanting to fuck either of these guys. I'm only human!

PS I *know* there's this whole argument about how fan fiction and fandom-style consumption is a way for especially-female audience members to enjoy erotica without having to deal with the problems of pornography. I get that, actually. But it makes me wonder where the genre of soft porn has gone. There are romance franchises like 50 Shades and Twilight that seem to serve this exact purpose, but I guess I wish that creators of that ilk would ramp up production, because then maybe I could look up fuckin ANYTHING on tumblr without encountering a bunch of hormonal children whose media consumption just boils down to, like, making Ken and Barbie dolls scissor in the bathtub.

[oro-junestar]

some of my favorite pac-man headcanons i came up with back in my insane days,,

-in pac-man world, orson was extremely malnourished, being obsessed with staying inside toc-man all day, never getting any sunlight or sustenance (which is why he's so grey). after defeating him, pac-man made sure to spend plenty of time with him to help him recover back to a healthy state <3 -since funky apparently works for orson, at least in world 1, spunky works for kinky. as for what she does umm idk sits there and looks cute. also idk where funky was in world 3 either lol -also funky pilots toc-man in pac-man world rally while orson works on um um hes still fixing up the spectral realm i think -golvis and spooky long lost brothers !!!????!?? :O -also wandy is spooky's most devoted servant and is an absolutely deranged simp for him oh my god its insanity,. -orson and erwin are exes (CRACK SHIP OF THE CENTURY) -creepy (from the minecraft thingy) and glitchy (from pac-man 256) are bestiesss -pac tech is primitive compared to ghost tech (orson would burst into tears upon seeing professor pac's lab i think) -sue and sue (pac-man world 2) would absolutely get into arguments all the time and be yelling and crying and causing all sorts of drama. they are volatile they should never EVER be put in a room together -pac-man eated a bees once. it did NOT GO WELL. -orson is in the fuckin uhhh i forget the tech lab place from pac-man party because of course he is -sue is the mother of yum-yum -orange sue, pink sue, and purple sue are sisters. -the maze is a popular sport event. pac-man, blinky, inky, pinky, and clyde are the world champs, and then afterwards they like to go grab a coffee and like idk make love or something -tim went missing in the spectran realm and i guess somehow created the nether realm (ghostly adventures), and his cries for help can still be heard to this day (i forgot about this this goes hard as fuck) -if spunky and funky were in ghostly adventures theyd totlaly be fire and ice ghosts -orson and the purple janitor guy got married after cleaning up the outpost (CRACK SHIP OF THE CENTURY 2) -the whole shit with spunky running away and joining a criminal gang -the whole shit with the fucking ghost zombie blood fungus disease thing?? -just the whole shit in general this was all so wacky -the museum in pac-man world 3 is just orson's pathetic shrine to pac-man...he doesn't let him see it cause its too embarassinggggg he would laugh at him -pac-man loves reciting and explaining memes to orson. orson does the same back to him sometimes it's very annoying. -orson loves to startle pac-man sometimes. it's very annoying. -orson loves to ramble about his newest inventions to blinky. it's very intriguing and blinky loves hearing orson's soft voice while being petted by him ouh,, -orson apparently served in the military???woah. -there is a ghost witch who lives deep in banni who's mad that orson built his outpost directly above her home. rude. um i forget what she does about it -orson totally jams out to desert music -blinky likes to gently bite pac-man after giving him a kiss aww <3 -munchy isn't the only nickname blinky gives pac-man. munch-munch, cumball, fuckalicious...yeah it's awful. orson, AKA fluffybutt, knows all too well. -clyde needs frequent reassurance and affirmation or else he thinks he's not doing good enough :( -joey, paul, willy, and frankie run a bootleg games company together. joey is the CEO and does CEO stuff, paul manages finances, willy makes merchandise, and frankie programs the games (u get a cookie if u remember who those are)

#pac-man #pacman #headcanon #headcanons #hcs #hooly shit what tags do i even put um #dude i was deranged #i crave more headcanons moooree yummy #orson #orson pac man #i luv him

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.2

Also yes this is a 5 part story arc, why do you ask, no I’m not “avoiding real life work”

Main Chat

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW THERE ARE THOSE WHO WOULD COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING DRAGGED OUT OF BED AT AN UNGODLY HOUR FOR THE SAKE OF SOME JEWELRY AND FORCED INTO AN ADVENTURE

Wu Xie: And we are just so grateful you are above all that.

Zhang Qiling: You were fully awake and insisted we pack and go as soon as possible in case there was, and I quote, “more weird shit happening we can cash in on.”

Wu Xie: I mean it’s kind of interesting that the Zhang family sent a car for us. We could have driven. So what is going on there, I wonder?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW FOR A PARANOID AND CONNIVING LITTLE SHIT YOU STILL RADIATE OBLIVIOUS BAMBI ENERGY

HATE TO BE THE ADMIRAL ACKBAR HERE BUT ITS DEF A TRAP MY BOY

WHY DO U THINK WE ARE MESSAGING AND NOT TALKING DUMMY

WERE YOU IN A TOMB ON THE DAY THEY TAUGHT PPL STRANGER DANGER

BUT NO NO YOU WERE ALL “LETS GET IN THE VAN WITH THE FREE CANDY AND PUPPIES I BET WE’RE GOING TO THE CIRCUS”

THIS IS THE LAST STRAW IM LOJACKING YOU FOR REAL THIS TIME, SHOULDVE DONE THIS YEARS AGO

Zhang Qiling: I agree, in this particular case, with Pangzi. You should not have gotten in their vehicle while we were still inside the house. It forced us to follow you into the van to prevent separation, and they seemed to be expecting that. I don’t know whether Zhang Rishan intended this, but I don’t trust him.

Wu Xie: :( I got excited and didn’t think it through. I’m sorry.

Wang Pangzi: DONT YOU GIVE US THE BIG EYES WE ARE IMMUNE

MOSTLY

SPEAKING OF IMMUNE ITS REALLY FUCKIN COLD IN HERE AND UR STILL SICK, PUT YOUR JACKET ON STUPID

Wu Xie: oh relax, I’m fine. No fever at all today, remember? I feel a lot better, too.

Wang Pangzi: YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE BUT TO HAVE XIAO GE INTERVENE

Zhang Qiling: It is odd to say this, but Pangzi is right again. You are barely back on your feet and could easily get worse again. Wu Xie. Jacket. Now.

Wu Xie: Oh fine. Teaming up on me, I see. Happy now?

Wang Pangzi: FUCKING ECSTATIC. NOW BACK TO HOW WE MAY BE PULLING A LI CU

Wu Xie: If it is an abduction, it wouldn’t be them moving against the whole Wu family—not with Uncle Erbai in charge. Zhang Rishan strikes me as someone who doesn’t make a move unless he is sure of his plan, and this is all a bit last-minute to be a big shift. Besides, they let Xiao Ge keep his sword and we still have all our phones.

Wang Pangzi: TOOK AWAY MY EXPLOSIVES THO THE BASTARDS

Zhang Qiling: In fairness, you were waving them around and yelling that if they tried anything it was going to be “yippeekiyay motherfucker all up in this bitch.”

Wang Pangzi: IT SOUNDS LESS COOL COMING FROM YOU. I THINK I SEE THE TEAHOUSE?

Wu Xie: me too. That’s Zhang Rishan on the steps. This must be urgent. Everybody stay shiny.

Zhang Qiling: I will be getting out first. Wu Xie in the middle, Pangzi at the rear.

Wang Pangzi: AND WHAT A VIEW;)

An hour later…

Main Chat

Wu Xie: Is everyone okay? I tried knocking but nothing is getting through, these are some solid walls.

Wu Xie: guys???

Wang Pangzi: OOPS PHONE WAS ON SILENT AND I WAS BUSY YELLING AT THE CEILING

IM PRESENT AND PISSED OFF

Zhang Qiling: Apologies, I was trying to break down the door.

Wang Pangzi: SO THIS MAY NOT BE THE TIME TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO BUT WHILE WE’RE HERE

Wu Xie: fuck Pangzi, I know, okay??

I’m an idiot, I’m so fucking stupid. It’s not like it’s the first or fiftieth time I’ve put you two in danger, either.

Wang Pangzi: HEY HEY WHOA NOW

STOP SAYING RUDE SHIT ABOUT MY FRIEND

ITS GONNA BE OKAY

DESPITE KNOWING THIS WAS A BAD IDEA I STILL COULDNT PREDICT HOW MUCH CHAOTIC LUCK THIS FAMILY HAS

DAMN IT I HATE WHEN HEI XIAZI IS RIGHT ABOUT THINGS

Zhang Qiling: I’m sorry. This is my fault. My line has a ruthlessly pragmatic streak and they’ve clearly wanted to test us separately to see why the necklace reacted to our arrival like that. It does not excuse Zhang Rishan trapping us in these separate rooms.

Wang Pangzi: UHH BITCH I SAID THIS FAMILY NOT YOUR FAMILY

THIS AINT ABOUT THEM

YOUR FAMILY IS ON MY SHIT LIST EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

THIS FAMILY MEANT US OBVS

UGH ANY SIGN OF THE BASTARDS?

Zhang Qiling: no. Wu Xie?

Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie, answer me.

Wang Pangzi: WU XIE

TIANZHEN

PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE DAMNIT YOU'RE SCARING XIAOGE

Zhang Qiling: I’m going to try breaking down the door again.

Wu Xie: Hello, Wang Pangzi and Zhang Qiling. My apologies for the rather inhospitable circumstances, but this seemed expedient considering the unknown qualities of the necklace. I could not be sure who was causing what, or what could happen next, and thus have temporarily set you in separate rooms for the sake of everyone’s safety.

Wang Pangzi: WTF GIVE HIM BACK HIS FUCKIN PHONE ZHANG RISHAN I KNOW ITS YOU YOU PRETENTIOUS ANTIQUE

WE DESTROYED THIS PLACE BEFORE AND WE CAN DO IT AGAIN

Zhang Qiling: Your concerns for everyone’s safety are noted. Thank you for whatever you believe you’ve done right here.

Now. If you release us immediately and return Wu Xie to us, we will consider leaving without direct personal retribution.

Wang Pangzi: WHAT HE SAID AND ALSO YOU SUCK

Wu Xie: I regret that this has happened, I hope to make it up to you in the future. For the purpose of today’s needs, however—I will have my men escort the two of you out if you so desire, but unfortunately Wu Xie will need to stay until we have finished examining him.

Wang Pangzi: EXAMINING??? YOU FUCKING PERV HANDS OFF HE MAY BE THE BELLE OF THE BALL BUT HIS DANCE CARD IS SPOKEN FOR

I SWEAR I DID NOT GO THROUGH TEN YEARS OF THIS STARCROSSED CLUSTERFUCK FOR YOU TO SWOOP IN AND STEAL MY FRIENDS BF

Wu Xie: There is no call for rudeness. He will not be harmed. The artifact was responding to him directly. It has not lit up like this in over 200 years, and I need to understand why it is responding, and responding to someone who is not our kin, which it has never done before. This could have implications for everyone in my family if it could protect someone at the right moment.

Wang Pangzi: OKAY BUT CONSIDERING OUR TRACK RECORD IN THIS BUILDING AND THE SITUATION AT HAND Y’ALL ARE ABOUT TO NEED PROTECTION

Wu Xie: The testing would be going better if Wu Xie wasn’t worrying himself unnecessarily over where you both are, it’s making our readings difficult.

Wang Pangzi: OH GEE SO SORRY YOUR KIDNAPPING VICTIMS ARENT THRILLED TO BE HERE TO SAMPLE YOUR CREEPY JEWELRY BOX BUT THAT SOUNDS LIKE A YOU PROBLEM

Zhang Qiling: Zhang Rishan. I appreciate that you must think of our family first in your decisions. As must I. I hope you can appreciate what that means for decisions I make.

Wang Pangzi: HEHEHE SO TRUE BESTIE

YOU PISSED OFF THE WRONG GOTH TODAY BUDDY BOY

Zhang Qiling: A compromise: we stay with him as you run your tests. That will calm him and assuage Pangzi’s concerns and prevent me from…testing the limits of your lifespan.

Wu Xie: I accept that this may temporarily impact our relations, but am hopeful that you will come to understand that sometimes I need to make certain choices for this family that are…difficult. I will come to let you—One moment. Something seems to be happening.

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: OH SO WE ARE GONNA JUST POLITELY SIT WITH WU XIE AS STRANGERS POKE HIM WITH NEEDLES ARE WE HUH WELL LOOK WHOS BEING A HELPFUL LITTLE LAB ASSISTANT

Zhang Qiling: I’m attempting to convince him to let us out. Of course we will not simply sit there. Some lying to gain trust is necessary here.

Wang Pangzi: UR BEIN A SHADY BITCH XIAOGE AND ITS HOT

THATS WHY YOUR TATTOO IS SO BIG ITS FULL OF SECRETS

ALWAYS KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU TO—WAIT WHAT WAS THAT SOUND??

At the same time…

Bonnie and Clyde Chat

Xie Yuchen: …so, this is not what I expected to find.

Hei Yangjing: yeah kiddo is a bit freaked out:/ this sucks. I mean I get that they are concerned blah blah blah necklace goes brightbright but maybe we should go find the other two

or at least find a way to let Wu Xie know we are here, that room he’s in looks like a dungeon and not in a good way

Xie Yuchen: Does it look like I’m able to do anything right now? Also, I’m fairly certain they won’t be harmed. Zhang Rishan may be callous, but he isn’t stupid.

Hei Yangjing: r u kidding

he split up Romeo and Juliet, then left Romeo with a sword—seems pretty stupid to me

Xie Yuchen: Yeah I’m not going near that. He made his bed with that choice. What can you see? These Neanderthal guards are blocking my view.

Hei Yangjing: uh so there’s like a lab table situation

Wu Xie isn’t tied up, a good sign in this context

I can’t see what those people are holding, they’re talking a lot and some asshole just grabbed Wu Xie’s arm, looks like maybe they are putting in an IV?

The necklace is—oh. Oh shit.

#whomst #ultimate note #wu xie #dmbj #the lost tomb #pingxie #iron triangle #dmemebj

[emlos]

ok now that i slept it off here is my top x things about kingdom (SPOILERS):

1. somehow, the time travel made sense? like i cant explain it but i like how they framed the past as being able to change without a focus on the angsty "but the future versions of us are gonna disappear" part, which was cool!

2. starscream. just, oh my god starscreaaam. at first hes a nuisance again (feat. blackarachnia, feat dinobot) THEN he gets a reality check from dinobot THEN he gets the dreamwave sunstorm effect THEN he gets to fuckin not die (i was SO anxious he was gonna get killed in yet another continuity) AND backtalk megan THEN he just kinda hangs out with the autobots

3. no really i genuinely liked which direction they took starscream

4. call me a fake bw fan but beast wars megatron was funny. they did something different w him and i can respect that

4.5. like when we meet the maximals, they are rude and unfriendly and generally aggressive and in comparison the predacons are just like "aw hell yeah, we want to work with THE megatron!" which i find sweet

5. elita one being dead. yeah yeah I know but i respect that they didn't pull a deus ex machina that time and just let her be revived by the allspark or some nonsense like that. the same goes for skywarp, jetfire and magnus

6. can we go back to starscream for a second. he was such a WHINY ENTITLED bitch during the forst 70% of the show, i LOVED it! he and blackarachnia really played off of each other well

7. blackarachnia...... oh boyyy. First off, lesbian spider rights, second off, im surprised how well they pulled it off (it was just a cheek kiss, but sjsjkaka ill take what i can get, thats more romance than 99% of the other transformers get in wfc) like she comments that arcee is cute, which, yeahnoh shes creepy spider and condescending cause haha pink but NO other bot/con/whatever does that. thats lesbianism! her comments on airrazor and something i find personally cool is that while the camera does focus on her body (spidertits :/) she isn't depicted as a seductress? more like a classic tarantulas style manipulator? and of course the will-airazor-catch-the-evil-predacon-she-just-worked-with tension moment and the kiss! her expression! made me squeal outloud in class

7.5 gay word vomit aside, i saw criticisms that az was "cheating" on tigertron which uh, we don't have any conformation that those two are together? sure tt was firm on wanting to rescue her, but so was chetor and prime. plus the hug? not to be nitpicky but if the showrunners wanted to make it explicitly romantic they coudve, it looked more like a comrade-i-missed-you-so-much-hug to me imo

8. dinobot!!!!! dinobots character arc!!!! i watched the first season of the bw cartoon and im up to date w the new comics, so im glad they made him legitly side with blackarachnia and starscream (for a while) but for a greater cause! his death was pretty unexpected to me, but dramatic and moving as to not be too far fetched! and i liked "no team, but good" dinobot, because it added realism in the end i think

8.2 like yeah ik robots transforming into cars isnt a very realistic premise to begin with, but barring a few things that rubbed me the wrong way, I found the motivations and the causality of events and decisions and such to be pretty consistent! or at least more so than in the other two chapters

8.8 all in all, it was mostly a marketing tool to kinda revive the older series and cartoon toylines, with modern designs and to sell toys - still i think that they managed their huge af casts well enough, had space for a fairly complicated plot and some character development, and idk if its the Stockholm syndrome but the megan lips (and the designs/models/just the artstyle) are growing on me.

8.9 just remembered, galvatron looks like a toy texture wise, and thats SO satisfying jdjsjs 🅱️urple man

9. the voices.. while they still sound painfully samey, i think the variety of voice actors was more than previously. or the voice director finally allowed for something more than "slow, deep and gruff"

9.1 why does megatron grunt so much? the netflix subtitles literally label more than half of the non talking noises coming from him as grunts, megatron primal much? djsjskks its funney

10. i remember being distracted during the ark assault scene, so when teletraan transformed it didn't really click. i went from "huh is this unicron" to "oh fuck oh shit they REALLY put him in the cartoon??!?" so quickly sjsjsks still it reminded me of omega supreme from animated, and it wasnt a deus ex machina cause it was foreshadowed earlier so i liked it :3

10. annnd the wars over! they took the cyberverse approch of "we share a planet.... for now..." buuut its on the list cause combined with the teased fourth-quel/possible continuation it allows for yet another post war story! (galvatron and nemesis got vored.... for now....)

tldr: starscream lives, blackarachnia gay, reasonably well executed, with possible continuation, and best out of the wfc trilogy

#YEAH I KNOW I HAVE A LISTNOG ISSUES THAT IBHAVE WITH IT AS WELL BUT this os is a positivity post #transformers #war for cybertron #wfc #kingdom #starscream #god hes my fave character #and i wss SO SURE megatron was gonna kill him #the ''I can FLY'' made me friggin ecstatic #8hdhsjeka the megatron² coup was just wlw mlm solidarity #and the everyone is a ghost STARSCREAM IS A GHOST jdjsjska #chefs kiss #text

[coweggomelet]

volume 5

im so sad please do funny things

i know what’s coming though so

i’ll be crying while i laugh

- i love how qrow walks he looks like he has back problems

- oooo pretty waterfall

- ruby gushing over weapons is my favorite thing

- ahahaaaa frozen background gays that’s representation babey

- oh shit he just wanted to finish the job and go home 😢

- wait are all the academy headmasters characters from the wizard of oz? like ironwood is the tin man, lionheart is the cowardly lion, oz is...oz. who’s the headmaster of shade? the scarecrow? dorothy? i am 100% sure that people have already connected these dots but that just occurred to me

- oh ilia you poor little lesbian

- ahahahaaaa qrow “i did it!”

-uggghh the new intro i need my babies to be back together

- ew watts don’t smile with your teeth like that it’s creepy

- oh yeah cinder can talk now! gimme that fun ominous banter-y dialogue pleeeaase

- floating islands babeeeyyy

- ooooh i love this pilot! he’s so nice and funny and he works well with weiss. so sad he dies in a couple minutes

- adam you are such an asshole siena was SO COOL

- AAAHHHHH he’s got dad reading glasses!! i love ghira

- i would DIE i would lay down my little life for oscar and ruby the BABIES

- fuck yeah yang!! you stand up to her!!

- WE GOT TWO OUT OF FOUR GANG TWO OUT OF FOUR

- awww hugs

- of course you’re more scared than you've ever been, oscar, you are a CHILD who worked on a farm!! it’s okay to be scared!! it’s okay to have to adjust!!

- SHE SURE IS REMARKABLE OZPIN

- uh oh ilia doesn’t wanna kill blake i smell a gay

- hehehe awkward backpedal

- ooohhh man the kid... fuck, all those people are just... gone. and we can guess what happened to them, it’s pretty obvious but we’re never told exactly what happened and it’s so sad and scary

- awkward tea time with mom

- ugh raven shut up you SUUUCK

- THREE OUT OF FOUR BABEEEYYY IM GONNA CRY

- they all love each other SO MUCH this is ILLEGAL

- yesssss arm wrestleeee

- ooooo the ticking clock is so ominous

- she’s gonna come back, yang, don't worry

- weiss i love youuuu you’ve grown so much i’m so proud!!

- oh ilia you poor thing

- oh boyyyy here we gooooo!! the fake out of the century!!

- mercury. shut up. you’re a good fighter and people underestimate you. but. you’re a kid. and there’s some real big players now. no one’s afraid of you. you’re not that scary.

- god this plan is so goddamn smart. raven wears her helmet. vernal keeps her eyes closed the whole time. so fucking clever. jesus. also?? vernal’s subtle showmanship?? amazing. great detail

- aang??!!?

- i really wanna know how oz hid the vault at beacon. there’s gotta be something about it other than he’s just old and powerful, there’s gotta be some shenanigans there

- god i love this theme it’s so good. casey really just gives it her all every time and i’m so grateful to her

- oh boy the fuckin lobby here we go

- siblings amirite

- boys and girls? really cinder? let’s be more inclusive please

- surprise y’all they’re murder teens sorry you had to find out this way

- fuck i forgot how much jaune’s lil speech hurts. he’s still just so sad and he’s breaking down a little cause he’s so good and can’t understand why or how someone could be so bad. god i love my lil sweet boy he’s breaking my heart

- qrow i think the time has passed for everybody to be cool. cinder’s already talking smack. there’s no going back buddy

- “who are you again?” CINDER ILL STAB YOU. but also… good— good line. absolutely devastating

- emerald’s like “gotta protect my mommy girlfriend”

- shut UP mercury

- siblings amirite part 2

- THATS MY BOOYYY GO OSCAARR

- ooooohhhhh this muuuussiiiicccc

- ope there’s an aura break oh FUCK weiss gets stabbed in this episode doesn’t she and JAUNEY BOY DISCOVERS HIS SEMBLANCE i love him

- AHAHAHAAAA fuck her uuuuppp ruby

- ohhhhh shit here it comes oh god oh no

- god with pyrrha’s spear too. cinder’s really got a taste for dramatics doesn’t she

- oh god and the spear dissolving like pyrrha did i CANT

- when i say i LOST MY SHIT i said no fuckin way they kill weiss right now NO FUCKIN WAY and my friend had the AUDACITY to say “just watch”???? RUDE

- oooohh GET HIM oscar

- HES DOING IT MY SWEET BOY I LOVE YOUUU

- ohhh the tree of knowledge! i just got that

- there’s the grimm elastigirl arm

- SIKE CINDER THERES NO POWER TO TAKE FROM HER YOU JUST KILLED HER FOR NO REASON

- GOD WHAT A REVEAL

- again i lost my shit

- the amount of times i lost my shit and my friend had to tell me to be quiet was… a Lot

- NORRAAAA I LOVE YOUUUU

- oh hazel. can’t wait for your Growth

- THERE SHE IIISSS MY GIRL WHAT AN ENTRANCE BLAKE

- uh oh hazel is disheveled that means he’s unhinged

- oh FUCK yeah blake you’ve LEARNED i’m so proud of all my babieeesss

- WEISS what a power stance!

- THE LOOK they’re so GAY

- ooooo i love this fight it’s maiden vs maiden babey

- poor vernal. she spent the last moment of her life helping a woman who probably manipulated her and used her, and she helped her try to kill someone who didn’t even end up dying. vernal deserved better

- OH HERE WE GO RAVEN ITS YOUR DAUGHTER BITCH AND SHES HAD GROWTH

- oooo get him blake

- ooof the shoulder check. raven she fuckin nailed you on the head and did not hold back and knew EXACTLY what to say and you did EXACTLY what she said you were gonna do— run away. she is SO MUCH better than you and you will never recognize that and that is so heartbreaking

- uh oh the clicky orb thing. you’re gonna die lionheart

- oh emerald my baby. she relied on cinder so much, was so dependent on her, that she was powerful enough to make that in like 8 brains at once. that’s grief babey

- it took them. TWO WHOLE VOLUMES. to all get back together. this is illegal. and also i’m crying

- this is not ALLOWED they can’t look at each other like that my heart can’t take it

- awww qrow’s default really is just taking care of kids. good guy

- i’m always so exhausted at the end of a volume

#rwby #rwby spoilers #ruby rose #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #weiss schnee #qrow branwen #ilia amitola #professor ozpin #cinder fall #emerald sustrai #raven branwen #oscar pine #this was an emotional one folks #every single time i was devastated by something and going oh this is so sad #my friend would just go oh it gets worse #as if that was adequate preparation #anyway #volume 6 babes #im ready #i think #long post

[cyro-starfire]

Cyro meeting Lemon Monster for the first time - Lemcy fic

⚠️WARNINGS FOR THIS FIC: OC X CANON, VIOLENCE, CUSSING, KISSING, CRINGE⚠️

Character colors

Blue - Boyfriend

Red - Girlfriend

Green - Pico

Pink - Cyro

Orange - Lemon Monster

The night was still young, the stars shine brightly throughout the night sky, the full moon also gave a brilliant light that made the night seem less dark. Pico, Girlfriend, Boyfriend, and Cyro were having as friend's night out, just the four of them. They generally used their time in the night to goof around and have fun, visiting parks, getting ice cream and just messing around with each other.

As the night grew they decided to sleep over at Pico's place for the night, Girlfriend told her parents about it so they wouldn't panic if Girlfriend didn't get home tonight. On their way to Pico's house Pico noticed the mansion that Girlfriend's parent's had owned, the same one where Bee and Gee met the spooky kids Skid and Pump.

"Ayo, Bee, ain't that the same house you met those kids in?" Pico asked Boyfriend. "Hrm?" Boyfriend looked over and noticed the house. "Oh yeah, it is, what about it?" "Well ain't it also the same house where you told me you like dissed a weird lemon headed monster thing?" Pico added. "Uhh...y-yeah...? Where are you going with this Pico?" Boyfriend asked slightly nervous of what Pico's intentions could've possibly been...

"Well, it's been a long ass time since I had a good scare, not even Cassandra's stupid ass could scare me, you said the guy was genuinely terrifying, I wanna be the judge of that shit!" Pico exclaimed. "DUDE! ARE YOU FUCKIN INSANE? THAT FUCKER WANTED TO EAT ME AND BAE!" Boyfriend responded with a shocked screech. "Dude come on, how bad can it be for me? Besides, Gee can't die remember?" Pico tried to remind Boyfriend. "But he was still fucking creepy, even for a dearest like me." Girlfriend admitted.

"For real?" Pico asked, astounded by Girlfriend of all people admitting that. "Yeah dude." "Well if that's the case, i think it's about time you introduced me to him!" Pico chuckled. "DUDE NO! ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?! PLUS WHAT IF CYRO GETS HURT?!" Girlfriend states to Pico, obviously not happy that he would want to do something this reckless and life threatening. Pico looked at Cyro and felt bad that he almost forgot that they were there..."Well...you guys know I'll shoot up anything hostile." He responds bluntly. "Come on, it'll be worth it, i wanna meet this fucker" Girlfriend and Boyfriend looked at each other and then looked at Cyro for their input.

"o-o-oh uhm..." Cyro was taken aback by the situation being suddenly focused around them. "Do you think you'll be able to handle this shit Cy?" Boyfriend asks the alien in a gentle tone, as to not put more stress on Cy. "w-w-well i-i m-m-mean uh...i-i guess it sh-shouldn't b-be too b-bad if P-Pico is the o-one protecting us..." They replied quietly but not too quiet to where Bee and Gee couldn't hear. "You sure?" "I-I'm p-positive! P-Please don't w-worry about m-me too m-much!" Cyro reassures the two. Bee and Gee look at Cyro for a while and sighed. "Alright just...stay close to us alright?" Cyro nods in response.

Girlfriend finally responded to Pico "Okay, fine we'll go in again..." Pico cheered. "HELL YEAH! LES FUCKING GO!!!" Pico screamed out in joy as he immediately darted towards the mansion and wasted no time to get in, the other three followed but not as enthusiastic as Pico, they were more reluctant if anything, especially Girlfriend...

The inside of the mansion felt as dead and haunted as the first time Girlfriend and Boyfriend went inside it together for the first time. "I still hate looking at the inside of this hellscape babe..." Boyfriend shuddered. "Me too honey bun..." "Awe come on you guys are pussies!" Pico giggled. "EASY FOR YOU TO SAY MAN, YOU FUCKING KILLED A HUGE ASS ALIEN WHEN WE WERE IN FUCKING SCHOOL!" Boyfriend screeched at Pico in anger only making Pico laugh more. Cyro was shaking like a leaf, clinging tightly onto Girlfriend's red dress. "Y-You okay Cy?" Girlfriend asked, worried about the shivering alien. "i-i-i-i-i'm g-g-g-good..." Cyro whimpered silently.

"Okay this was obviously a bad idea, I'm pretty sure this place alone is gonna make Cy have a huge panic attack.." Boyfriend sighed but was cut off by Cyro. "N-N-NO! I-i-i-i-i'm okay, i-i promise...i-i-it's j-j-j-just c-c-cold here..." "You sure Cy?" Pico asked, concerned as well. "Y-Yeah...t-trust me g-guys i-i'm fine!" The alien tried their best to reassure the three, which only resulting in Pico, Bee and Gee sighing in unison, they couldn't just back out on this so quickly...right...?

After some time of exploring the mansion, it did take some time for Pico to get genuinely spooked by the place... "Wow...y'all weren't fuckin around..." He chuckled nervously. "This place is creepy as fuck...why do your parents even own this place to begin with Gee?" Girlfriend shrugged "I don't know man, sometimes they don't even make sense to me..." She responds. "Wait, so you admit your scared then?" Boyfriend asks with a slight giggle.

"WH-WHAT?! N-NO?! I AIN'T FUCKIN SCARED BEE!!" "Ya sure Pico?" Boyfriend giggled even more. "Your sure acting like your scared!" "THERE'S A FUCKIN DIFFERENCE WITH BEING SCARED AND BEING CREEPED OUT YOU FUCK NUT, GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK ASS HEAD!" "Okay but your stuttering, your clearly pissing yourself dude." "NO I FUCKIN AIN'T!" "Yeah you are!" "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" Pico screamed. And thus, an argument began with the two boys, Girlfriend sighed. Some things never really do change, do they? Cyro looked away from the arguing boys only to be met with an odd looking shadow in the distance. "h-h-h-huh?"

"g-g-guys...?" Cyro tried to get everyone's attention but they couldn't be heard over Boyfriend and Pico so they had to try again "G-Guys?" Still not being heard over, so Cyro took a deep breath and reluctantly scream to get their attention. "GUYS!" With them finally being heard all three of them turned their heads to look at the quivering alien. "Is something wrong Cy?"

"u-uh y-yeah, WHAT TH-THE FUCK IS THAT?!" The alien screeched in terror pointing at the lemon shaped shadow that was hiding behind a door. "What's wh- oh...oh no..." "B-B-Bee...?" "What the fu..." The shadow suddenly had a visible smile and finally spoke. "Well, well, well~ what do we have here~? A three course meal~? How thoughtful of you all~!" The voice was deep, soothing, and mesmerizing. The creature slowly opened the door and stepped out.

As seen through the shadow it had a yellow, lemon shaped head, it's eyes were huge with wide pupils within them, it's teeth were uncomfortably crooked, it's neck was a velvet red and the rest of it's body was a pitch, raven black, it had two fingers on each hand, and it had only two toes on each foot. The creature was very tall in compared to the four other beings within the room, it towered over all of them.

"It has been quite a long while since i have seen you two~! And i see you've brought that little schizophrenic ginger friend of yours~! And-" the monster paused to look at Cyro behind Girlfriend, still scared out of their mind. "Well now~! Who's this little friend of yours~? They look rather...appetizing~ in more ways then one if i must be so bold to say~!" He said, attempting to slowly approach Cy but was stopped by Girlfriend. "Don't go near them...O R E L S E . . ." She warned it with a growl, which only made the lemon headed monster roll its eyes in annoyance. "And you still don't know how to not be so RUDE..." The monster growled.

"Better not try jack shit bitch, i know how to use this thing." Pico aimed the gun towards the monster which only made it boom with laughter. "You think a puny little weapon like that scares me? How adorable~!" It chuckled before lunging at Girlfriend and attacked her which made Pico start firing bullets at the creature, and Cy ran as fast as they could into an empty hallway. Boyfriend stood still, he didn't wanna engage in the violence, he didn't sign up for this shit man...

After the monster and Girlfriend fought, monster while doing a number on Girlfriend decided that enough damage was done and went after Cyro. Pico and Boyfriend, instead of knowing Girlfriend can easily heal, and going after the monster and making sure he doesn't hurt them, went to Girlfriend to see if she was okay, Cyro was sobbing and whimpering while running, wanting to be home right now and not here.

"FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!!! I KNEW THIS WAS A BAD IDEA WHY DID I TRY TO LOOK BRAVE FOR EVERYONE HHHH!!!!" The alien screamed internally and wished that they were just honest so that none of this would be happening right now, after some running they found themself in a dead end, and what was worse is that they could hear the monster's footsteps. "NONONONONONONONONONO PLEASE PLEASE OH PLEASE I DON'T WANNA DIE, WHY ME, WHY ME. WHY ME!!!" As much as they hated themself, but they were still terrified of dying, especially like this...

The monster got closer and closer until he was visible again which only heightened Cyro's anxiety, their heart was pounding through their chest and their breathing was rapid, they could barley think straight at all. "There you are my dear~!" The monster cooed. "p-p-p-please leave m-m-me alone..." They whimpered quietly. "Oh don't worry dear~! I won't kill you~! Will i possibly hurt you? Maybe, but then again..." He got closer to them and pinned them against the wall, he slowly put his two fingered claws against their face, and caressed their face gently.

"I would feel guilty if i caused any sort of harm to an adorable and beautiful creature such as yourself~!" It whispered in their ear making Cyro blush deeply and shudder they were so confused by this behavior. "You know, i normally don't have such feelings for prey...but you...your different..." The monster explained to Cyro. "wh-what d-do you m-mean...?" "I mean what i mean my sweet cherry cake~! Your seem like such a delicate creature~!" The monster slowly moved it's claws under Cyro's chin and began to rub the bottom of their chin gently. Cyro couldn't help but purr at the sensation.

The monster chuckled at Cyro's purring, they were so adorable. "Perhaps i won't eat you~ your so sweet, I'm afraid that if I eat you, I'll get a cavity~!" The monster joked. Cyro didn't respond, they only continued to purr at the monster rubbing their chin, until he took his claw away from their chin which only made them whine. "wh-why'd y-you st-" they were interrupted by the monster giving them a soft and gentle kiss on the lips, which surprised Cyro at first, but they slowly sunk into the kiss and kissed the monster back. There was some time before they broke away from the kiss, Cyro panted softly while looking at the creature

The monster chuckled. "While i would love to keep you, i fear that i have aggravated your friends enough, so unfortunately this will be goodbye for now, but i will be back soon, my little prey, until we meet again~!" The monster whispered to them beore giving them a kiss on the cheek and disappeared into the shadows again. Which only left Cyro in confusion but at the same time, they felt like they've fallen in love again.

After some time Pico, Boyfriend and Girlfriend found Cy, fortunately for them Cyro was okay, and the four of them darted out of the house as soon as fucking possible. Cyro never really forgot about that day ever since...

#stfu cy #tw fnf #fnf tw #icon used for this was made by @cozykincafe #fnf fic #fnf fanfic #friday night funkin fic #friday night funkin fanfiction #fnf monster #fnf lemon monster #fnf lemon demon #fnf boyfriend #fnf bf #fnf girlfriend #fnf gf #fnf pico #fnf oc #friday night funkin oc #oc x canon #lemcy #cyro #cyro starfire #cyro x lemon monster #cyro x monster #cyro x lemon demon #pico #monster fnf #lemon monster fnf #lemon demon fnf #cy's shitty fanfics

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Whumptober Day 23: Exhaustion

CW: Abduction/kidnapping, sadistic/creepy whumper, manhandling, noncon touch (nonsexual), xenophobic language/name-calling, cigarette burn

“Wake up, Russki.” The words, spoken in a deep velvet rumble, slightly rough-edged with the last haziness of a night of restful sleep, are followed by a heavy-handed punch to Artyom’s ribs that brings him gasping back to panicked consciousness. 

Something snaps inside him, and he groans, closing his eyes tightly, fighting the new rush of hot tears that threaten. He can already feel the dried tracks of earlier tears, the way they move when he swallowed, works his jaw a little.  His mouth still tastes like metal, his tongue is heavy and dry behind his teeth. 

He had lain in terror as the van he’d been loaded into had driven away from the apartment, bound but not gagged - because, as the man who had taken him had said, I can kill you far faster than anyone will find you if you start screaming. 

At some point, the van had pulled over, but Artyom had seen nothing before bitter water was poured down his throat. He tried to spit it out, but he swallowed enough - because within minutes of the van moving again, he’d started to drift in a restless gray haze. Not sleep enough to be restful, not awake enough to understand what was happening at all.

The man had left Artyom, soaked from the water he’d tried to avoid drinking, and the van had started moving again, driven for hours through the night, and now it stopped again. Now the door opens.

Now… what?

“There we go, Russki. Up you get.” The man grabs him by the upper arm and pulls him from the van. He winces as his feet come down on gravel, sharp-edged pebbles and he stumbles on wobbly legs, knees threatening buckle and collapse. His head lolls to one side and he blinks in long, slow struggles to open his eyes again. Whatever it is, it’s still in his system.

The man’s hand grips tightly into Artyom’s thick dark hair, jerking his head back up, and his eyes struggle and fail to focus on the face of the man who has taken him. This is how Misha’s victims feel, he thinks, this is how their last moments go. But Misha never drugs them, ever, he never does, and is that better?

Or is it worse?

“My friend is already here, waiting on us. We shouldn’t be rude, boy.” The man pets heavily through his hair with that thick-fingered hand, and Artyom struggles weakly, thrashing, but he might as well be a kitten for all the good his struggles do.

The drugs in his system weigh him down, he is too exhausted to understand what’s happening or how to begin to fight it. His eyes keep trying to close and stay closed, and he whimpers, forcing them back open.

“Pozhaluysta…” He groans, collapsing forward against the heavy solidity of the man, the soft tailored fabric of his expensive suitjacket, the scent of clove cigarettes that clings to him like a woman’s fingers clutching tightly. ��Pozhaluysta, otpusti menya…”

“The ratspeak will be the first thing I rid you of,” The man rumbles, stepping back and shoving Artyom, watching him lose his balance and fall sideways in a graceless heap to the ground, rolling into the short bristly grass along the side of the road, his hands tied behind his back. 

The man kicks him again, and smiles at the helpless sound he makes in return.

“Sorry to hear about your loss. Is this the one who did it?” A new voice speaks from nearby and Artyom looks up, blinking, struggling to see with only the headlights of two sets of vehicles - the van and another, sleeker black two-door car - to give any light at all. 

A man walks up, his expensive black leather shoes crunching into the gravel, wearing a long gray coat and with dark hair slicked back, a dangerous sparkle of amusement in his dark eyes.

In the black car, where the driver’s side door is open, another man speaks animatedly into his phone, and Artyom stares, uncomprehending, his tired drugged brain moving too slowly to make the connections.

“This is him. I want a clean wipe and I want it fast. I don’t care what skills he has. You told her?”

“I told her. Lucky you called me. She likes me, inasmuch as Renford likes anyone, I suppose. I’ll take care of it. You’re good with the cost we discussed?”

“Money’s not a problem. You’ll get your cut of what Renford charges for him and ten percent off my business in this area for a full calendar year, starting the day he’s delivered back to me.”

Artyom can do nothing but blink, and blink, and blink again. A car drives by, but doesn’t stop or even slow down, and Artyom watches its lights disappear around a bend. He’s so tired he can barely remember how to be frightened of dying here.

The dark-haired man looks down at him, eyes running from his hair to is feet and back again. Appraising him. Artyom shudders, feeling suddenly pinned by that gaze, like the man is tearing off his clothing to see what’s underneath. The dark-haired man smiles. “If you’re not going to use him, what do you want him for? I could do a lot with a good grip on that hair and a gag.”

Artyom turns away. Both men laugh.

The man who has taken him lights a thin brown cigarette, blowing sweet smoke into the air around them. “He killed my partner. I want him to suffer, Giovanni. Surely you understand.”

The man in the gray coat looks back at his black car, and the passenger inside who waves at him when he saw them looking. “I do,” He says softly, genuine love in his voice. 

“Good.” The man leans down, shoving Artyom onto his back, trapping his bound hands behind him and forcing his back to arch to accommodate them where he lay in the grass. “I’ll see you again, little Russki. But first… let me give you something to remember me by.”

He yanks up Artyom’s shirt and jams the end of his cigarette directly into the thin skin just inside one hip.

Artyom’s back arches into a bow as he screams, his hip alight with white-hot pain centered around the tiny spot where the cigarette digs in and in and in, searing layers of skin and lighting up nerves.

The sound echoes around them, bounces off the trees, and is swallowed up again.

When the cigarette is pulled back, he collapses, tears running from his eyes, pleading in Russian through choked-off broken sobs that he was so sorry, that Misha had been the one to kill, all he did was help the bodies be hidden, he was so sorry-

The man laughs, putting the cigarette back to his lips and lighting it again as he straightens up. 

“Can you understand him?” The dark-haired man in the gray coat asks, eyebrows slightly raised, unbothered by the casual violence. “I don’t speak... whatever that is.”

“Not a fuckin’ word. Fucking Russians. In my day, we took care of the fucking Soviets.”

The dark-haired man raises one eyebrow and his voice has the barest hint of an Italian accent. “Haven’t seen Soviets in a good long time, Oscar. The Cold War ended, as I recall.”

“Hmph. Not for me. Remind Renford we agreed he comes to me not speaking a fucking word of it, ever again.”

“Deal.”

The man who had taken him walks away, gets back in his van, and pulls away, leaving Artyom, shaking with pain and weeping fresh tears into the dry grass, lying on the side of the road with a man who watches him with cold black eyes.

“You should have been more careful about who you killed,” The man says, almost genially, as he leans down and dragged Artyom upright, pulling him the twenty feet to where his car was waiting. “Oscar isn’t a good man to anger. No one in our line of work is.”

The man sitting inside the car is still on the phone. It sounds like he's talking about the day’s stock market prices. The moment is surreal.

Artyom is deposited unceremoniously into the trunk, thumping in on his right shoulder, wincing and curling up. The trunk closes and he is left momentarily in silence, only the sound of his own gasping, tearful breaths, the pain throbbing through his hip. 

Then the car starts up, the engine purring in a soft vibration underneath Artyom, and he hears, muffled through the car, a voice singing, “Oh, Mama, I’m in fear for my life from the long arm of the law… law man has put an end to my running and I’m so far from my home...”

The car spits gravel as they pull back onto the road.

Artyom is bumped so hard he smacks up into the trunk door and back down again, knocking his head twice in quick succession. White bursts behind his eyes and he groans. They can’t hear him, with the music so loud. They wouldn’t care anyway.

All he can do is curl up tighter in a weak attempt to protect himself, and pray that he’ll survive whatever came next.

At least Misha had gotten away.

---

Giovanni Rossi and Ridley Lordin belong to @slaintetowhump and @moose-teeth, respectively

@wildfaewhump @astrobly @finder-of-rings @slaintetowhump @moose-teeth @burtlederp @dhiabori  @doveotions @newandfiguringitout @raigash @thatsthewhump

#whumptober2020 #no. 23 #exhaustion #captivity #captured #whump #antoni sings lullabies #drugged #forced drugging tw #xenophobia tw #davies is not a good man okay #burns tw #box boy #box boy universe #sadistic whumper #creepy whumper

[brw]

Thoughts on Dan Slott :)

:)

truly. my behated. i never liked his writing but ever since he had. like 16-18 y/o aboro propose to val who again is 12 AT BEST but is probably more like 8 i just... why this is man employed!!! he doesn't understand the characters he's writing he literally said that writing a character with powers as strong as franklin's was difficult and that's part of why he's depowered and it's like motherfucker if you can't write the team you're hired to do than give it up!!!! let someone else do it jfc!!

and like his writing of sue is SO bad. her only personality traits are "bitchy" and "overbearing" i am genuinely so fucking tired. why would she fucking stalk her adult brother??? she has TWO fucking kids to look after! she canonically is in charge of the ff's financial situation???? she ran their companies for them???? she's a secret agent sometimes for nick fury!! literally WHERE THE FUCK would she have the time to spy on her GROWN brother!!! sue genuinely just feels less like a character and more like a weird shape-shifting sexy blob that he changes to fit whatever stupid conflict he wants that issue which will never get brought up again.

not 2 mention the gross racism of some of his characters... like cindy when she was introduced was a glorified fetish character. no personality trait beyond "boobs" and "semi naked". and YES he apologised but that doesn't change that he'd thought that'd be okay, and considering how AWFULLY written skye is... like it just doesn't feel coincidence that a brown woman is the one that sue is shown to constantly judge and think negatively of and repeatedly insult her "backwards wrong" culture. it just feels so :/

and more on his weird shit, anyone remember his she-hulk mini where he???? had someone read out a list of all the people jen'd slept with in as she-hulk front of a court????? like WHAT the fuck was that. and he slutshamed johnny in EXACTLY the same way in his ff...

also. and this is something less to do w/ his bad writing and more with the fact that he haunts me. but when i was reading the 90s wonder man story. no mention of him at all! until i got to the final issue where it was finally cancelled. the guy who'd been answering the letters? dan fucking slott. i KNOW its not a big deal but it was so fucking creepy i feel like he's following me via the medium of comic books. it was insane. dan slott???? explains how fuckin rude some of the replies were tbh... jrjdnfn

there's also his ableism... like in the wedding buildup they called reed stupid & talked abt him behind his back when he was displaying some Symptoms Of Neurodiversity™ (hyperfixating) and was doing stuff in his lab and thought he wouldn't show up to the wedding like... this is his FAMILY they're supposed to know him and love him i'm 😩 can u. at least not use characteristics heavily associated w/ autism if you want to have his family insult him & whatnot it rlly is just. upsetting. and that STUPID "it's on bitch" panel everyone loves is just 😑 like hank was very obviously Not Well in that, not feeling great and you're telling me reed richards who shows sympathy and understanding to multiple supervillains who have tried to kill him and his family who once talked down someone from committing s*icide, would just belittle hank like that??? hank who he respects enough to ask for his expertise in robotics???? like just... in WHAT fucking world...

and that's not even getting into the crimes he committed in tony stark: iron man because dear fucking god they are numerous. he's been dead for 6 years dan. leave hank pym alone we have been through enough!!!!

ANYWAY. tldr he sucks i hate him wishing bad things for him ONLY. my beloathed.

ask “thoughts on ______”

#dhehhehe tysm for asking! #aylaranz #ask games} answers #dan slott hell #ask to tag

[im-not-a-disney-adult-i-swear]

hi may i have a matchup plz

Hi my name is rex, i’m queer and use they/them pronouns and i’m 15. And i would prefer someone not over the age of 19 plz.

have like a caramel colored skin-tone (i feel like saying im black may be easier but 🤷🏽‍♀️) and im 5’3. Rn i have a purple-pink short mullet and i have pretty curly hair, im pretty chubby but i have an hourglass shape (but i have super noticeable hip dips) , i got pretty big fucking tittes (not even in a bragging way, im a fuckin k cup bro😭) and thicc thighs(thicc thighs save lives, sorry i’ll stop). I dress pretty alternative but i cant just choose one subculture tho, i wear a lot of heavy eye makeup. There are times where i dress some what “sexual” but its not sexual cause im 15 and other times i wear a lot of layers.

Honestly I don’t really have a type. Tbh most of my relationships have ended pretty badly cause they ether only wanted something sexual from me or I was “too clingy” when i just wanted basic ass affection. But the most I want is someone who is physically affectionate (like kisses, cuddles, and hugs for days) also im ok with pda to an extent like i will hug and like cuddle you but im not gonna make out with your infront of others thats weird af.

Im a libra sun, scropio moon, and gemini rising. This means that im a pretty social person and always wanna hang out with friends and just have fun, but moon in scropio makes my emotions rlly haywire and kinda boosts any sorta negative emotion, which is hard when you have chronic anxiety and major depressive disorder. Which also means i take medication for it, which i forget a lot. And because of these things i have anxiety tics, where it ranges to making noices and twitching a bit to full on hitting myself and saying random shit. But I really like making people laugh, it makes me feel helpful, but im also good at being to mother figure for people. I also like playfully bantering with people, like i love you but will full on roast you and get into fake fist-fights. I am a bit of a violent person at times but I have a punching bag and boxing gloves which help a lot. But I only get that angry when someone uses an insecurity of mine against me or is talking bad about someone i love, cause it you do that im beating your ass. I do have a bit of body insecurities mainly about my hip-dips and stomach. But because im curvy i get hit on by adults a lot and its creepy as fuck.

My hobbies include art (painting, drawing), sleeping (because i stay up mad late😭✌🏽), reading comics, Marvel and D.C superheroes, and super villains, cartoons, and anime/manga.

My favorite music genre’s are rock, alternative, emo, rap, and a little bit if indie music.

Personality: funny, sarcastic, creative, kind, inappropriate and the right times. Like im not gonna pull out a dick joke in front of your family

I don’t really have a type and im queer so i dont have a gender preference, but anyone who’s love language is physical affection cause im a clingy bitch

I have a couple ideal dates. So the first one is like an indoor picnic and a movie, an arcade date, and a stargazing date where you get take out or fast food and drive up a hill to see the stars and you like cuddle n shit

You didn’t mention a fandom but I just know you would be the perfect match for Peter Parker. But Plot Twist! It’s Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man

Has never had a SO who wasn’t a female- but as soon as he met you he just knew he wanted to be with you

Literal sunshine boi and will do anything to make you happy

Loves your body how it is and absolutely hates when anyone comments on how you look- will legit throw hands with anyone being gross or making rude comments

Cant keep his hands off you- he respects your boundaries but sometimes he just really needs your attention

Took him awhile to get the courage to ask you out- was terrified and thought he wasn’t “cool” enough for you

Feels guilty at first when you tick around him because he was afraid he did something wrong- after you explain he’s very understanding and does his best to remind you to take your meds- but he forgets almost as often as you do

Loves to surprise you with dates

Takes pictures of you all the time

He would tease you about your music taste and try to get you to listen to his music (hozier, glass animals, queen, twenty one pilots, etc)- secretly loves your rock playlist but would never admit it

Loves cuddling but won’t let you get up once he’s comfy- he’s clingy and needy okay?

Thanks sm for the request and also hi bestie I’m a Libra too 👀 bahahaha

#matchup ask #you deserve the world but here’s Peter Parker #andrew garfield #peter parker #spider man

[rosykims]

whew just had one of the scariest experiences of my life whats good gang im shaking lol

under a read more bc its long and block text but what the fuck. what the fuck. what the fuck

went to a drivethru for dinner and as i pulled into the lane there was this guy just like. pissing by the entrance outside. and i kinda gasped and laughed bc i was just shocked by it obviously lol wtf??? anyway he LOOKED OVER as i did so i immediately glanced away and was like omg fuck i feel rude but like. its probably more rude to piss in front of a fast food store right ???? anyway i drive in and another car pulls up behind me so i kinda forget abt it bc im abt to take my order. and once i do and im wating behind someone else i just happen to look behind me and the guy :) is leaning into the window of the car behind me :) trying to open the passenger door :)  AND LISTEN IM A FUCKING IDIOT I *KNOW* BUT I WAS LIKE OKAY. ALRIGHT. OKAY. IM GOING TO ASSUME IN GOOD FAITH THAT MAYBE THEY ARE FRIENDS BC NOBODY WOULD LIKE DO THAT RIGHT? RIGHT? WRONG. so i pull up to the next window to pay and other car follows behind me and this creepy guy follows THEM and is still talking to them trying to open their door????? so now i was like ok still no way is he serious rn. but i locked my doors just in case <3 brain cells acquired <3 and then i was stuck behind the car in front of me and watching the guy in my rearview mirror and he finally leaves the behind me car alone except he. looks at me instead :) like makes eyecontact w me :) and starts walking towards my car <3 and he comes right up to my fucking car and looks into the window and i just literally Pretended I Do Not See It bc i was um freakin g tf out lol !!!!! and THANKFULLY for some fucking miraculous reason he didnt open my car? bc he instead goes up to the next car and IMMEDIATELY opens their passenger door just like w the UTMOST confidence??? and the couple inside start screaming and swearing at him and he like,,, slams their door against the concrete wall of the drivethru’s building???? and at this point they r literally at the final window and the poor employee is trying to intervene,,,, and this freak just comes up to the space between the drivers window and the drive thru window and like starts talking to both of them or whatever??? and just as i think the driver is about to physically fight this man he just. walks off. into the night. 

and yeah um then everyone drives off and the employee asks if im ok and gives me my food and i leave <3 thanks for coming to my ted talk i absolutely fuckin hate this town <3

#sorry if this i s so fucking inarticulate i just got home and only now stopped shaking lol #literally hate that this isnt the first time ive had an experience like this but this was definitely the scariest #ive actually had situations where men have GOTTEN into my car that were less scary than this so <3 nice #going to buy ac valhalla and think abt f!eivor bc i have simply had Enough tonight <3

[brella-boi]

for the write a fic post: chili goes to therapy

Ya'll are just not gonna leave my son alone are you

Title: Doctor’s Home Tags: Cursing, bad english, bad therapist, Chili, Tai. Words: 1500

For weeks a certain someone decided to start making an effort to make amends. He would come every couple days with a pizza or a movie, hang out, and let his sister roam around while he fell asleep halfway through. In a way it was interesting to see someone you’d consider an asshole suddenly show a change of heart, but on the other hand Tai was curious of any ulterior motives that inkling had bubbling underneath the surface.

For one, Tai never trusted Chili. Not one bit. Not after seeing how he treated Mint. Several times, in fact. Though, he gave him the benefit of the doubt. Tai came over to his home a few times, tried to learn different things from the inkling. Granted, he did learn a few things that Mint was no help with, like which neighbourhoods to avoid, using the splatting weapons in turf wars, and general paperwork. Although it was a grueling process. Not only because the inkling held a heavy accent Tai found hard to understand at times, but also because he was so forceful and rude about everything. How did Mint find any part of that inkling appealing or tolerable is beyond him. To Tai, Chili was simply an asshole. An interesting asshole.

He quickly noticed how differently he acted around the vicinity of Mint, and immediately took interest in that.

Now, Tai may not know much about psychology, but he is well versed in the medical field. That’s close enough, isn’t it?

The next time Chili decided to show up at their apartment Tai was prepared. So prepared in fact, that he made sure Mint was still out and about in town and the two of them could get some private alone time. So when he finally knocked on the door, Tai was ready to answer with a smile.

“Hello Chili. I was waiting.”

The inkling grunted as a way to greet the octoling, focused on finding the other twin he was hoping to meet instead. “Mint’s stuck in traffic or what’s up?”

Tai tapped the wooden door rhythmically as he closed it behind Chili. “Hm. Yes.” They weren’t, but Tai wouldn’t pass the opportunity of an excuse like that.

“‘Aight. Ya won’t mind if I snag the couch for myself then.” He didn’t need an invitation, or a denial, he did as he pleased regardless of the answer he received.

“No. You can sit down.”

But the inkling stopped halfway, his eyes grazing across the living room. He wasn’t an idiot. Hearing Tai agree with anything, or say how he was waiting set his suspicions off. Something wasn’t right.

“Nah. Actually I’ll stand.” He watched Tai stalk towards the small island separating the living room and kitchen, and continued his tapping against its stone surface.

“I think you want have a seat.”

The two boys squinted at each other, neither of them budging from their place in the staring contest.

“‘Aight, I’ll bite. What do ya want from me? More teaching? Money? A beating?” Tai slowly approached the inkling as he continued talking. His height became more apparent with each step he took. “Silent treatment, eh? Or is my vocab too advanced for ya to understand? Damn, if only Mint was here to help ya out and translate like a good kind sibling.” By now the octoling stared down Chili from how close they were, and Chili felt himself leaning backwards and away from Tai who only continued to press forward. This was awkward. “The fuck ya want dude.”

“Hm. You want to be good boy, yes? For Mint? Sit.” He straightened up again, and let the inkling fall backwards into the couch with a dumbfounded expression.

Be good? A good boy? Him? Chili? He didn’t know what to say at the clear display of not-giving-a-fuck. There were times where this strange octopus would get into a specific mood. A mood that is both creepy, intimidating, unsettling, but also weird as fuck to deal with. When he does you cannot reason with him at all. Mint called those moods as a ‘crazy-scientist awakening’. Chili feared this was one of those moments.

“Good.” Tai flashed a faint smile as he himself took a seat on a chair across from Chili. He leaned back and inspected the tense inkling eyeing him suspiciously.

“I know what you play.” Chili raised an eyebrow and Tai continued. “Why?”

“Why what.”

“Why so nice beside Mint? You are jealous?”

Chili folded his arms with a bored expression. “Of what? There ain’t nothing Mint has I don’t.”

“Hm. Yes. A big home, good job, many friends... A boyfriend.” His eyes averted. One mental checkmark to Tai’s list of theories. “You are jealous.”

“Whatever ya think it is, Mr. Know It All, yer wrong. Newsflash, I’m also friends with Hiraeth and the system, and I don’t need a huge home or fulfilling work. So whatever’s brewin’ in yer head, stop it.”

“You sure? Why no talk with Mint for.. Hm. Weeks? But you talk with system. It make no sense.” Tai paused to think, his fingers tapping against the arm of the chair in thought before returning to waving around as he spoke again. “Unless… Halcyon say you are close to Pensacola. Very. And you ask me to slap you, like he. So,” he grinned toothily at Chili, excited to see the reaction to his theorie’s consensus, “You was scared of Mint because you like them, and Hiraeth was faster, so you run away. But now because he and Pensacola is gone, you come back. No threat, no worry. Yes~?”

Chili stared incredulously at the octoling who single handedly deciphered his entire motivation towards Mint in the most broken inklish he’s ever heard. It almost felt like an insult. This guy he knew for less than five months somehow found himself digging so deep inside him it was embarrassing. Has he really been hiding it that bad all this time? No, others never found out. So what gives Tai the right to know?

“Ha! Ya must be out of yer god damned mind. I’m done here. Have fun interviewing some other sucker that easily falls into your trap.” He stood up from the seat and took a step towards the door before a sudden sharp pain knocked into his neck.

He whipped around to face the smug octoling still sitting in the chair, but now brandishing a nerf gun in his hands aimed towards Chili. Before he could speak again another bullet smacked him in the eye and he doubled backwards from the sudden shock of it.

“Sit down.”

“What the FUCK is yer problem?” Shot again. “Stop it! Agh-! Fine!” He sat down into the seat once again with arms raised above his face to shield from any more oncoming bullets.

“Am I right or wrong.”

“You’re fucking stupid. OW-”

“Wrong answer.” Tai loaded another few rubber bullets into the gun. “I ask again. You like Mint?”

Chili stuck his middle fingers out at Tai through the shield and felt another three bullets pelt him in the stomach. “AgH- I ain’t gonna fuckin’ tell ya!”

“So yes. Okay.” He whistled at the hiding inkling who now sported a faint blush. “I won’t tell. But you are asshole.”

Chili groaned, “What’s new.”

“No. You are idiot. You pretend like you are good.”

“I’m trying real fuckin’ hard, so thanks.”

“You are happy to pretend? Only pretend? You are lying. Lies will bring death.”

Chili felt like his words got lost in translation. It was probably some octarian analogy. But he understood what he meant regardless. “Yer not a therapist Tai, ye don’t get a voice in this.”

“I am doctor. I have experience.” He did not, in fact, have experience in the mental health department. Ask him to stop bleeding? Place stitches? Sure. Ask him about depression? Anxiety? Relationship advice? Maybe not the best idea.

Chili huffed. He didn’t know about any of his prior experience, but he didn’t deny his medical knowledge was extensive. “I don’t need another therapist. So shut up and mind yer own fuckn’ business.”

Negotiating with Chili was brutal. Nothing goes into his head without going in one ear and out the other. Neither did he have the nerves or stamina to punch him like his friend to bring him to his senses, and he felt like he wasn’t being taken seriously either. What was he to do? The nerf gun would only get him so far, and three more shots did nothing but prompt more cursing.

“Stop lying to Mint. Is all I ask.” Tai stood up with a frown. “You are lost up here-” he tapped his own head as he headed towards the door, ”-and you are bad to me and you friends. You need understand what you are wanting before you lie again. Go. Think about it.”

Tai held the door open for Chili who looked like he was about murder Tai with his gaze alone. Red in the face and hands curled into fists. But, he stood up and wordlessly stepped outside the door as instructed. The octoling watched him with a solemn face and slowly shut it once he disappeared beneath the stairs.

“Ayayayay… So stuck up his own ass it’s impossible to get it out.”

#sorry this took a week lol #writing tai is really hard hes very out of my element #splatoon #fanfic #writing #splatoon 2 fanfiction #myart #chili #tai

[radramblog]

Putting Chicken Little in Mid instead of Shit is my hot take- a Disney animated tier list

Was talking about this shit with some mates and I had my laptop about with a blank page so why the FUCK not. It’s my blog, I make the fucking rules.

For the purpose of this tier list, Pixar does not exist. It’s fake news. Buzz Lightyear fucking who?

(see now I’ve gone after both dreamworks *and* Disney, you cant complain I’m biased)

First of all: the tier of things I haven’t seen and have no intention to do so. The absolutely fucking not tier.

A bunch of the old ones that no-one remembers are on here. Considering nobody talks about them, and they’re fucking Disney, how good could they possibly be? In addition to that, we have Frozen, something I considered watching at the time, and then it got huge, and I just got sick to death of fucking seeing it everywhere. It’s a universality poison, an oversaturation complex, and I absolutely have no interest in seeing us build a snowman. Can people please let this movie go already? (I think I’m very funny). Also, Dinosaur looks fucking awful (y’all know Land Before Time already existed right), and the trailers for Ralph Breaks the Internet did too. Which is a real shame, because the first one slaps. Wait that’s spoilers FUCK

Anyway next is the ones I haven’t seen but could possibly be convinced to.

The classics I haven’t seen live here. But it’s one of those things where like, am I gonna go out of my way for this? Am I deadass gonna go sit my ass down and watch fucking Sleeping Beauty as a 22+ year old bloke? Not unless someone drags me into it. I could be more easily convinced for like, Aristocats or Great Mouse Detective, because cute animals good, but you don’t have the same easy in for Aladdin or Princess and the Frog. Also, Tangled and Moana are there because like, I really cannot be bothered watching those, not my kinda jam, but if I put them in the fuck no category certain friends of mine would be quite upset.

Next is Shit Tier! Shit Tier has one member.

Home on the Range was. A movie. A lot of the time when you talk about the really bad movies, what gets brought up is a bad film (or other property) that’s just the sheer absence of good. And that is what I have to say to describe Home on the Range. A deathknell for Disney’s 2D animated division, and honestly American 2D animation as a whole. I don’t know how the fuck Princess and the Frog got made after this, because this movie was just genuinely devoid of anything memorable or entertaining. Man, it’s just cows.

The Bad tier has a lot more of the “absence of good” style- like, Cinderella isn’t atrocious, but what does it actually have going for it? I genuinely don’t remember. I only have vague memories of the Black Cauldron, but I believe the general consensus is that its Not Good. Pocahontas and Tarzan are messy and not in the fun way, and the Jungle Book is something I found exceptionally annoying as a kid. Probably because my brother likes it, nothing he likes is ever good (love you bro).

Mid tier is mostly just shit I don’t really care about one way or the other. Like, Beauty and the Beast is fiiiiiiine. I gueeesss.  I don’t particularly care for Lion King either way, and please attempt to name a single thing that happened in Bambi after the mum got shot. One thing. I suppose I should attempt to explain my having Chicken Little here, even though everyone understands it’s a bad movie. And yeah, it is, but this is my Nostalgia Pick. I’m allowed one of those. I really loved that movie as a kid, And I don’t know why, I have no justification for this. It’s not that bad, surely. I refuse to watch it again to find out.

Also The Rescuers is pretty ok? I think? I remember very little about it. But The Rescuers Down Under has a motherfucking Goanna as the villain’s pet and she’s gorgeous. Movie aint great apart from that but the goanna gets it a whole bunch of bonus points.

Finally, some good fucking film.

Okay, let’s run this one down the list. Big Hero 6 was pretty good? I watched most of it on the plane, but I never finished is and I sure haven’t been assed to fix that yet. Wreck-it-Ralph was honestly really good, and the retro game shit was a direct target square at my face. Not top tier, but extremely solid. Hercules was a beautiful disaster, and Robin Hood was a disastrous beauty (and too many folks’ furry awakening for me to be comfortable with it (says the Pokemon fan))

Hunchback is genuinely quite good, athought you really need to skip past the gargoyle bits to get the best out of it. Zootopia gets a lot of credit, goes on top tier for a lot folks, but not for me- controversial opinion, but the second half was too heavyhanded for my taste. Like, I get that you had to hammer in that metaphor for the kids, but it really did it too hard for me. Also, they really made the villain a sheep, huh. Rude.

Alice in Wonderland is a beautiful creative classic with a healthy dollop of creepy, and I have too much nostalgia for Winnie the Pooh to put it any lower than this. Fox and the Hound and Mulan are the good shit, and I don’t have much more of a comment than that.

Finally, the top tier! Good movies allowed only.

You may notice that all these movies come from that era in the 90s where they actually let the creative minds behind the 2D animation team at Disney make the things they want to? And they cranked out the best 4 movies in the entire list. Like, goddamn. Treasure Planet is a fun as fuck adventure movie that’s criminally underrated and looks gorgeous, and Atlantis is just a more refined version of such (but I’m not quite as nostalgic for that one, sorry, also the second one exists). Emperor’s New Groove is just, such an incredible comedy flick, holy shit, they really did the nonstandard plot framing and fourth wall humour in this one, and they did it well. And Lilo and Stitch is, again, a perfect movie. I never know what to say about those. It’s so much less interesting to talk about things that don’t have flaws compared to something that does. It’s a perf fuckin film, fam.

And uhh, that’s the lot of them. Okay, that’s all the time I’ve got. I’ve got to get back to watching Shrek the Third on my friend’s TV.

(it’s not especially good)

#ramble #film #disney #tier list #i feel like a lot of people have stronger opinions on these that I do