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familyvideostevie · 3 months

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a kind of hunger | chapter 2

joel miller x fem!reader

series masterlist

an offer from your employer sets your life on track and throws it into a new kind of chaos at the same time. where does joel miller fit into it all?

length: 5.9k

Warnings: 18+ smut, fem!reader, unspecified age gap, heavy petting, joel having a moment with r's tits, hand stuff, dirty talk, painful sex for a second, riding (p in v sex), like a really small smidge of breeding kink, emotional turmoil from r cause what else is she gonna do, some plot! wow! a/n: finally! another chapter. it’s short but i think we’re getting somewhere. Let me know what you think! huge thank you to @macfrog for your eyes and for keeping my sanity in check and @bageldaddy for teaching me how to use commas, letting me borrow your bar, and telling me to just “slutty hallmark it.” this is for you guys.

navigation | 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 | 𝗴𝘂𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀

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Bill’s offer costs you one night of sleep and that’s all.

Taking over the bar goes against every rule you've had for yourself up until now, everything that’s kept you going and on your feet.

You lose when you stick around. You get hurt when you get attached. Always keep moving.

But your night with Joel seems to have shaken something loose. You’ve got a pit in your stomach, a hunger set alight by his eyes and his hands and his attention. It’s like he reminded you how to want, how to stop letting the world turn under your feet and dig in your heels instead.

And there’s what Bill said, the thing that won't leave you alone. You think no one notices, but I notice. We all notice.

It’s easy to lie to yourself about a lot of things: that you don’t mind this life, its constant movement and instability. That it’s made you crafty. That if you picked up and left right now, you’d be fine. No one would miss you, no one would notice. The names and faces you’ve learned would fade as soon as you found new ones somewhere else.

You’ve been a tight fist your whole life, only hanging onto what can fit into your rough and weathered palm, half-moon crescents bleeding that damn desperate hope you can never seem to scrub off. It means a whole lot of avoiding things that could matter so you can’t lose them, can’t let them slip through your fingers. A family who saw your need for space and control and turned it into isolation and disinterest, who drove you away as soon as you were able to leave. College was a bust. Relationships gone sour have taught you not to rely on anyone. Failed experiment after failed experiment, just looking for something to stick. It’s better to be alone, right?

That tight fist keeps anyone out, anyway. It’s carefully rolled bills in plastic bags in the toe of a pair of sneakers just in case. It’s talking just enough to get you a place to stay, a job, a ride, but not enough that anyone remembers your face, even if you wish they would.

It’s not one big thing. It’s a million small ones. And nothing ever lasts. You never last; always cutting and running before it can get real, before they can see the truth of you and find it lacking.

You’ve been looking for the missing piece for years now, the thing that will make you feel like you’ve finally made it somewhere where you’re needed enough to stick around. Where you can stop quitting, where you can put down roots. Where you can be wanted.

You just aren’t sure it’s possible. You’ve done so many things, seen so much, that you feel like it’s too late to be anything other than this.

It’s easy to believe all of that until someone like Joel sees through it – until someone like Bill tells you none of it is true.

Fuck it.

You call Bill the next morning and tell him you'll take over Frank's.

According to him, the turnaround will be quick. He'll have someone "official" draw up the paperwork. You tell him you won't change the name. You tell him you will make some repairs, fix the cracked vinyl booths, and give the floors a refinish, and –

"Do whatever the fuck you want," he grumbles over the phone. "It's your bar."

It sure is.

You own something, now. You belong somewhere – even if it’s just because you have payslips to sign and counters to clean. But maybe this time, if you try hard enough, you can get it right.

You have a meeting to tell the staff that you’re taking over. There are only five of you – two college kids from a town over, the guy who works part-time at the garage by the highway, and an old butch called Pat you find vaguely frightening who’s been working here longer than you care to ask.

It’s probably the first time all five of you have been in the same room. None of them seem disappointed in Bill’s retirement, and they’re on board with your plan for renovations. Especially after you assure them they’ll be paid even if you close for a bit to get it all done.

Joel doesn't come in. You notice, but don’t spare it too much thought. You can’t because the bar is a fucking nightmare all week.

The keg lines keep blocking, the jukebox dies a sudden staticky death, and some asshole scratches the pool table hard enough to tear up the felt. Everyone and everything is pissing you off. It’s an effort not to spend all of your breaks on that milk crate in the alley with your head in your hands.

It feels like Frank’s is hazing you. After all you’ve done for it, you feel a little betrayed.

“Why the hell do you think I’m retiring?” Bill says when you call to bitch about it. “This shit is a fuck ton of work.”

By Friday, you're at your wit's end.

The rush has come and gone, and now it’s slow. Slow enough that you might be worried, but Pat has told you before that this is just how it is in small towns, sometimes.

That, or maybe your bad mood scared everyone off. Maybe they're tired of the shitty atmosphere, of the cloudy glasses and squeaking stools, maybe they –

You pop an olive into your mouth.

“Chill the fuck out,” you mutter to yourself. No one is around to hear.

The only patrons left are some bikers at one of the back tables playing cards. Their laughter is too loud without the music going. The mats behind the bar are sticky under your boots, and your temple has started to throb. You feel like locking yourself in the office just for the silence.

The air shifts when Joel steps inside.

The hunger you feel is a familiar fire, coals that stoke themselves and never go out. Lust, infatuation as you take in his broad shoulders and grey-streaked hair. You’re strung out and a fuck might help.

But there’s also a weight in your chest at the sight of him, one you haven’t felt in a while. It sits heavy above that smoldering flame in your belly, a bruise you can’t stop yourself from pressing on.

Maybe part of you expected him to stop coming in after you fucked. Regardless of how it made you feel, you’re just some woman who serves him two fingers of liquor when he wants to run away from his life. Just someone who gave him one good night and nothing more.

But this weight – this big, thorny emotion that looks like affection and attachment and something real – you don’t know what to do with it.

It’s never been this way with a one-night stand. Yeah, you know the weight of him above you, inside you. You know the taste of his sweat on your tongue, the feel of his head between your thighs. That kind of shit usually doesn’t change anything with you, but Joel is…different.

Careful, that voice inside you says.

Joel peels off his jacket and tosses it on the otherwise empty bar, pushing up his sleeves to reveal his tanned forearms. The stool creaks under him and his gaze is heated as it travels over you. He doesn’t bother to hide the fact that he’s looking.

He shakes his head when you hold up the bottle of whiskey.

"Water's fine," he says.

You blink. If he’s not here to drink then what is he here for?

He seems like he always does. Relaxed, like the room was made to have him in it. But you look a little closer, now that you figure you can. The deep scar on the bridge of his nose stands out and his cheeks are a little pink. The temperature must have dropped once the sun went down. His jaw isn’t tense so much as set, determined. He rubs his chin with a flat palm as you fill a glass using the soda gun.

“Whatever you want,” you say.

He looks around the bar. You figure he's taking in the out-of-order signs on the beer pulls, the flickering light pointing to the restroom, maybe even the goddamn ruined pool table.

You pick up a rag and start to clean to keep your hands busy.

“Quiet for a Friday,” he says. "Things goin’ alright?”

You bristle at the implication. It’s been a shitty week, and you don’t need anyone reminding you that you’re probably not cut out for this.

“Fucking peachy,” you snap.

Joel raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t rise to it. "Seems like things are a little tense.”

You swallow a flash of genuine annoyance.

"All it takes is a roll in the sack and now you're a talker?"

Joel isn't phased. He takes a small sip of his drink, rolls the glass between his hands. Nice hands, you think. Hands that felt so good between your --

"Just makin’ conversation," he says lightly.

You’ve always thought you were hard to read – hell, you’ve been told that many times. One of your flaws, people always say, but it makes it easier to slide in and out of places without too much damage. And yet, Joel, a man who has been in your bed once and sits at your bar when it suits him, sees right through you.

Your shoulders slump.

“I’m just tired,” you tell him.

Joel rubs his beard with one wide palm. He moves his jaw back and forth like he's giving you the chance to shut him down, like he’s chewing on the silence.

"Heard somethin'," he says. "Wondered if it was true. Thought I'd ask."

"Are you asking?"

He eyes you, takes another sip of his water like it's a tumbler of amber liquid instead. Like anything you pour him is something to be savored.

"Guess so."

You set the glass down and put your hands on the wood, leaning towards him with your head cocked.

“Are you keeping tabs on me, Joel Miller?”

“Nah,” he says, eyes flashing before they slide down to your lips. “Ran into Frank in the frozen aisle at the store.”

“And what does that have to do with me?”

The corner of his mouth tugs up. "Known him and Bill a long time."

That explains why he looks like he belongs here. He's probably been in this room more times than you have. All of the things you don't know about Joel hang in the air between you.

"Does Bill...?"

Does your buddy know you fucked me in the apartment I rent from him?

Joel shakes his head. "Frank told me Bill was giving the place to one of his employees. Figured it was you."

And that’s that. But it sounds like a compliment.

“Well, it’s me alright,” you sigh, slumping a bit. “And there's a lot of shit to do.”

Joel puts a hand on your forearm. It's a light touch, a quick one, but it sends sparks along your skin. A moth to a flame.

“Ain’t no small thing. Ownin’ a bar. Big deal, if you ask me.”

You roll your eyes but pride swells in your chest. He’s right. It is a big deal.

And here you are in your bar.

With Joel, who fits into all of this somehow. You just don’t know where yet.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t ask you,” you say with a smirk.

You want to draw it out of him, make him flirt with you for the answers he seems to want. You want something to sink your teeth into after this week, something to play with.

Something to make you feel in control. And that’s what Joel gave you, last time you saw him. He pushed when you pulled, met your touches and your quips with attitude and hands of his own. You felt alive, you felt present. You felt wanted. And it was fun.

If you’re not careful, you might forget what sex was like without that – his attention, his touch. Your name in his mouth. But now that you’re giving staying here a shot, maybe it’s time to indulge. To reach out and take.

Joel snorts. He leans forward and raps his knuckles on the wood. “Should we toast to it?”

You laugh. “I don’t drink on the job.”

He raises his water glass.

“Alright,” you scoff. “Fine.”

You pour yourself some water and clink your glasses together. Joel’s eyes never leave yours, not when he takes a long sip, not when he sets the glass down. He keeps looking at you with that heavy, unshakable gaze.

It’s unnerving, the way he makes you feel. You’re still tired, still annoyed, but there's electricity at the base of your spine, the embers in your belly. You want to talk to him.

You clench your hands around your glass. You want to touch him, too.

“So,” you say. He’s wearing a henley this time, the buttons at the top undone just enough to give you a glimpse of a peak of chest hair. You swallow and flick your eyes back to his. He’s smirking.

“So,” Joel echoes. “Why’d you take it? The bar.”

You shrug. “Seemed like a good deal.”

“Bill ain’t in the habit of good deals,” he huffs. “He must like you.”

It’s an effort to squash your smile. “I don’t think Bill likes anyone much.”

“Real asshole, ain’t he?”

That gets a laugh out of you. “Well, he’s your friend.”

“Not much choice in a small town.”

You hum.

The noisy group from the back stumble their way to the door, waving at you as they file out into the night.

“Those idiots ruined my pool table on Tuesday,” you hiss, though you smile at them.

“Gotta be pretty fuckin’ bad at pool to do that.” He looks around and realizes he’s the last one in the bar. “You closin’?”

“It’s only eleven, Joel.”

His eyes rake up and down your body. Is he thinking about how he touched you, how you fell apart under him? Heat curls lazily in your belly. He runs his finger around the rim of his glass.

“Damn shame,” he says.

Normally you wouldn’t shut for a few hours, but it’s pretty dead for a Friday and…

And Joel is looking at you like that and you want to touch him.

You don’t mess around with regulars.

You’re already breaking your rules by taking over Frank’s. What’s one more?

The pulse between your legs agrees with you.

“Colin,” you call over your shoulder, stepping back from Joel’s hot gaze. The barback appears immediately.

“Yeah?”

“I’m shutting early. Go home. Tonight’s tips are yours.”

He sputters. “Are you sure?” His gaze flicks to the stacks of glasses behind the bar, the tables that still need wiping down.

“I’ll take care of it. See you next week.”

He just shrugs and turns on his heel. A minute later the back door slams and you know the kid is gone.

You lift the bridge and slide out from behind the bar. Your boots are loud on the shitty floors with no one in here and each step to the door feels longer than it should because of his damn stare. You feel Joel’s eyes on you as you lock the door and flick off the neon BAR sign that hangs outside.

When you turn around, his eyes are dark.

Joel stays on his stool, one foot on the ground so that his knees are spread wide, watching you. One hand rests on his thigh, thick fingers tapping to a tune only he hears. His other arm is on the wood of the bar, stretching his shirt across his broad chest.

When Joel looks at you, sometimes it feels like he’s the first person to ever see you.

“Gotta settle up,” he drawls.

“What, you gonna tip me for water?”

“Not exactly,” he says, words dragging in his mouth. “Got somethin’ else in mind.”

The air in the bar sparks and crackles like one of those long Texas summer days when a thunderstorm looms like a threat. The electricity of it crackles down your spine, turns it molten, turns you dangerous. It’s never felt like this before with someone you’ve slept with. Just being close to him is enough to kick your pulse into gear. You feel hyper aware of every part of your body as he looks at you like you’re offering him something better than what you can pour.

Which, you guess, you are.

“And what would that be?”

He hums.

“C’mere.”

You can see his cock straining against the front of his jeans.

“Bossy,” you say. “That for me?” You jerk your chin towards his lap and take your time walking back to him.

He smirks. “You wanna go upstairs?”

As soon as you step between his knees, the hand on his leg moves to your hip. Two fingers sneak under the waistband of your jeans to find bare skin. You brace yourself with one palm on his thigh, another on his neck, and thread his soft hair through your fingers.

“I don’t see why we have to,” you say slowly, watching him carefully. “No one’s here. And I know the owner. She won’t mind.”

The hand on your hip slides further back and his fingers press hard into the swell of your ass.

“Oh, that right?” he chuckles. “Well, as long as we ain’t breakin’ any rules.”

You’re not sure who moves first. You’ve got a few inches on him by being on your feet so you pull him towards you just as he surges up and your mouths meet sloppily, hungrily. Joel tugs you closer and you dig your fingers into his thigh as he swallows your giddy laugh, his beard scratching your skin deliciously.

You’re going to fuck him. In your bar.

“Somethin’ funny?” he asks, lips trailing over your jaw. He’s got both hands on you now, one on your ass and the other on your hip, holding you like he expects you to disappear.

“No, not really–” You cut yourself off with a gasp when he nips your pulse point. “Joel.”

He kisses you again, licking into your mouth. You remember the sounds he made in your apartment and tug on his hair. Joel’s moan is your reward. You press close and grind your hips against the hardness in his jeans and he growls.

“Hard as a rock the second I step in this damn place,” he says, holding you there. You pull back to see his lips spit-slick, his pupils blown. Seeing him undone like this by your touch is just as thrilling as it was last time. His teeth scrape down your neck and he unbuttons your jeans.

“Sounds like a – ah – you problem.”

Joel’s fingers drag through the curls above your cunt before he goes where you really want him. You gasp against his temple when he circles your clit.

“Seems to me I’m not the only one,” he rasps.

The fingertips on his thigh become nails digging in even harder when he slips one finger inside you.

“Gonna leave bruises, sweetheart,” Joel says. Your cunt clenches around him. “You like that? Markin’ me?”

“Maybe I do,” you groan. “You left some last time.”

The angle can’t be ideal but Joel fucks you as best as he can with one finger, then two. You drag his face back to yours and suck on his bottom lip, tugging his hair all the while. Every part of you feels like it’s on fire, like you’re burning up from the inside.

His other hand rucks up your shirt until you tug it all the way off. He pulls down the cup of your bra with one hand and rolls your nipple between his fingers.

You could come like this, Joel’s hands everywhere.

Gripping him through his clothes isn’t enough. You scramble to undo his belt and get your hand in his jeans, button popped and fly down.

He grunts your name when you spit into your palm and take him in hand, velvety soft and tip leaking.

“Careful,” he hisses. “Don’t want to stop this before it starts.”

“I’ll be gentle,” you say. He thumbs your clit in response and you gasp.

Time blurs with his fingers inside you. Your strokes are lazy but he hisses each time you drag your thumb over his tip. Is it going to be this, you two pawing at each other against the bar until someone bursts?

“Joel,” you gasp. “Joel, I want –”

He finally returns to your clit with a strained smirk. The veins in his neck are visible, telling you it’s getting to him, too.

“You remember what I said last time?”

Ask for what you want, you hear me? You ask and I'll do my damn best.

You could have him bend you over the bar. You imagine it, quick and dirty, the wood digging into your waist as he slams into you, flesh on flesh. It would be better than last time, you know it. But you want to see him.

You want Joel’s face in your neck, your hands in his hair as he fills you up. You want to watch him fall apart under you.

You dig your nails into him again and he hisses. You lean forward so your lips drag along the shell of his ear.

“I want to ride you, Joel,” you say.

His eyes flash. He kisses you hard, swirls your clit one more time, and pulls his hand from your cunt. Your knees feel a little weak so you keep your hands on his shoulders.

Joel brings his fingers to his mouth and licks them clean.

“Gotta get at least a taste,” he says. “Just as sweet as I remember.” You surge forward to kiss him. You can taste yourself on his tongue and he groans into your mouth.

“Alright, baby,” he says, breath a little ragged. He thumbs your nipple again. “Where’re you gonna ride me?”

“Booth,” you manage. “Over there.” You jerk your head back towards the cracked vinyl seats he’s never once sat in since you met him. He pats your hips and you step back. The stool scrapes loudly on the floor as he stands.

He cups your cheek with one callused palm and just looks. His hair is a mess from your hands, lips swollen from your kisses. And yet he’s looking at you like you’re the answer to all his problems.

“So damn pretty,” he says.

Somehow you make it to the booth, a tangle of lips and hands, shedding pieces of clothing as you go. Your bra, his shirt, his belt. Shoes toed off and left in a pile, Joel shoves the table between the vinyl benches to the other side so there’s enough room for him to sit, for him to drag down his jeans and boxers and take his cock in one hand.

Your mouth waters at the sight of it. God, he’s thicker than you remember. One of these days you’re going to take him apart with your tongue.

You could just stand there and admire him but you’re so wet you think you’re going to drip onto the floor. His solid thighs, the dark hair gathered into curls at the base of him trailing up to his navel. If you were a painter you’d put him to a canvas.

Joel spreads his legs wide, and you run a hand down his bare chest before balancing on his shoulder as you step out of your bottoms. It’s almost funny – the two of you naked but for your socks, Joel’s pants around his ankles.

You want him too badly to spare a thought for laughter.

A condom comes from somewhere – his wallet, maybe, or his pocket, you don’t much care – and he slides it on with a hiss.

It’s different than last time. More desperate but in a fun way – and you know this won’t be the last time. You know each other’s bodies, now, and this can be quick, can be dirty, because you’ll be doing it again.

So you don’t waste any time straddling him. Joel lines his cock up with your entrance, his other hand on your hip.

“You ready?” he asks. You lean in to kiss him and sink down at the same time in response.

You moan in tandem as he fills you, the angle different from when you were on your back, so different. The stretch is deeper, and somehow you feel fuller than last time. It’s overwhelming, it’s all-consuming, it’s a little painful.

“Fuck,” Joel groans. “So tight. I ain’t gonna last long.”

It really is a tight fit, so tight you think maybe he was right to ask if you could take him without at least one orgasm to prepare you. The girth of him is splitting you in half, stretching you so much you whimper against his mouth.

Joel’s hands cup your face. “Y’okay?” he says, strained. “Hey, talk to me.”

Your eyes are shut tight, knees pressing hard into his solid thighs as you breathe.

“Need a sec,” you say. “It’s different like this, it’s –”

“I know, baby,” Joel murmurs. “Doin’ so good so far.”

He shifts his hold on you just a little and you whine. The vinyl cracks underneath his shifted weight as he whispers an apology into your shoulder.

The pain of the stretch dulls to an ache and you know what’s just on the other side. You roll your hips and the head of his cock presses exactly where you want it. It sends a shock wave of pleasure through you so intense that you fall forward a little, Joel’s face pressed to your chest.

He presses a kiss to your breastbone, so light you almost miss it as you start to ride him in earnest. Your knees press into the rough vinyl and Joel’s lips find your nipple.

“Didn’t give these ‘nough attention last time,” he says. “My mistake.”

His tongue laves at your breasts, one after the other as you swirl your hips over and over. You tug on his hair as your thighs start to burn but you keep going.

Joel’s teeth scrape against your nipples, the skin of your chest as he nips and soothes, nips and soothes. You’re going to be covered in marks tomorrow.

Maybe it’s the thrill of that, of just seeing him again, maybe it’s how bad you want him, who fucking knows – you’re already so close.

Everything fades away but this. Joel is everywhere, on you, around you, inside you…It’s just the two of you, limbs tangled and sweaty, panting each other’s name.

The smoldering in your belly is a fire climbing higher and higher and you’re going to explode with the heat of it.

Firm, rough-skinned hands hold you steady as you lift and sink, gasping every time he hits that spot inside you.

“Joel, I –”

His grip turns bruising as he starts to fuck you on his own, the wet smack of his balls filling the bar.

“I know, baby,” he pants. “I know. You hear that? You hear me fuckin’ you? You’re takin’ my cock so good.”

You plant your hands on his shoulders and try to meet his thrusts.

“Swear I dreamed ‘bout this,” he growls. “How wet you were. Those fuckin’ noises you make when I –” He circles your clit with his thumb and you keen. “There we go. Just like that.”

“Joel –

“Gonna ruin this booth,” he says with a rough chuckle. His forehead is tacky when you press yours against it.

“I – fuck – need new ones anyway, don’t I?”

Joel grins, all teeth as he pounds into you.

“C’mon, sweetheart,” he says, breath hot on your lips. “Soak my cock. Know you can, so tight and –”

Your orgasm rips through you, a broken litany of Joel and yes and god knows what else torn from your throat as he fucks you through it. His thrusts become erratic and you try to keep your seat as he finishes with a deep groan.

Joel presses more of those light kisses to your collarbones, the base of your throat, so like the one he left on the back of your hand that first night. You drag your fingers through his slightly sweaty hair.

“I’ll move in a second,” you say, catching your breath.

“Take your time,” he says. “I ain’t goin’ anywhere.”

His grip on you is practically gentle, fingers lazily stroking patterns into your skin. You drag a hand up and down his chest.

It’s tender. It’s…something it maybe shouldn’t be. Something that doesn’t belong in whatever you’re doing.

You get out of his lap as carefully as you can and stand in front of him, naked. Fucking with a condom is smart and all, but you wonder what it would feel like to have him dripping between your thighs.

He doesn’t hide his stare, though it’s not as charged as before. He’s looking just to look.

“Put your pants on,” you grumble at him. He laughs.

You scoop your clothes off the floor and head for the bathroom. The tarnished mirror displays your sated smile and bright eyes. You run a hand over the bruises he left on your neck, your hips. Well-fucked is a good look on you. You look exhausted but happy.

Joel is dressed and back at the tabletop when you return. He’s got his usual bottle of whiskey on the wood, two glasses already sporting a pour each.

“Not workin’ anymore, are you?” he asks you.

You laugh. “No.”

The soreness starts to settle into your thighs when you take the stool next to him.

The momentary silence isn’t uncomfortable. It is comfortable, which is the strange part. Sitting here with him at your bar after he fucked you a few feet away and sipping at your drinks.

Joel, for his part, seems unbothered. You can’t figure him out. It makes you feel a little unsteady to know that he sees right through you, but you don’t know what he’s thinking. Would he tell you if you asked?

“So,” he says. “What’re your plans for the place?”

You sigh. A piece of his hair is sticking up and you tuck your hand between your thighs so you don’t smooth it. It’s different with your clothes on.

“There’s a lot to do,” you tell him. “Jukebox is broken. Neon signs need replacing. Plumbing could do with a refresh. I want to refinish the floors, maybe tear off this ugly wallpaper –”

“Make sure you get a good gel for that,” he says. “Shit’s old and won’t come off easy.”

You lean your chin in your hand and shoot him an amused look.

“Do a lot of wallpaper removal in your spare time?” you ask.

He fiddles with his watch, jaw working around whatever it is he wants to say.

“I’m a contractor.”

“Really?”

“Don’t sound so surprised,” he grumbles. “You think I sit on my ass all day?”

Honestly, you don’t know. Most of the thoughts you have about Joel aren’t to do with his job. You have no idea what he does when he isn’t here.

You shrug. Joel rolls his eyes.

“Well, I am,” he drawls. He takes a long sip of his whiskey. “And I know the folks around here who you’ll need. Materials, all that.”

“Are you offering to help me, Joel?” You keep your voice neutral.

He looks at you head-on. It feels like he’s seeing through you again. “If you want it.”

“If we do that, it has nothing to do with…” You gesture between you. “With this.”

Joel just looks at you, letting you sort out what you want to say.

“I mean, I don’t want charity, okay?”

He shakes his head. “Ain’t charity. I owe Bill some favors. This’ll square us up. You’ll cover all the other shit, I guess.”

“It’s not his bar, anymore,” you remind him, but it’s a weak protest.

Joel knocks back the rest of his drink.

You’ve been working out how to finance the renovations all week. All that cash you’ve squirreled away over the years finally has a purpose, other than a cushion in case something really bad happens. It’s looking tight between paying the staff and sourcing the work. You’d only be able to close a week at a time and any delays will fuck the whole thing.

But if Joel’s offering discounted labor, materials on the cheap? You could get it all done faster, get it done right.

“Why do you want to help me?” you ask.

Joel huffs and if you knew him better you’d say it was in offense.

“Let’s just say I’m invested in the state of this place,” he says. “And you really gotta replace those booths.”

Your face feels hot. “Asshole.”

“So,” he says. “You interested?”

It’s not a bad idea. Hell, it might even be a good one. Money aside, Joel, whatever his story is, is connected in this town, and if you’re staying it would do you some good to start making some connections of your own. Start settling.

The fist in your chest, your heart, your mind – it loosens just a little bit.

“I’m interested.”

Joel knocks on the bar once, twice, and stands. He digs in his back pocket for his wallet and hands you a business card with his phone number.

“I’ll be here Monday morning,” he says. “We can start goin’ over stuff, figure out when you wanna close. All that. Call me anytime. Sound good?”

You just nod. The fatigue is starting to hit and Joel must be able to tell because he just smiles at you.

“Goodnight, boss lady,” he says. “Put the whiskey on my tab.”

Joel grabs his jacket and unlocks the door, sliding into the cool night with a wave.

“You don’t have a tab, asshole,” you mutter, but you’re smiling a little.

It feels like pieces are falling into place.

You know you could get the bar fixed up on your own. But with Joel’s help, it’ll get done faster and you might even have some money left over at the end of it.

It’s a lot all at once. But for some reason, it feels different this time. It’s not another job about to fall through, not another relationship going south because you got spooked. It’s not you getting bored and cutting your losses.

You want this. You want it to work. Usually, you’d have left by now, before you got too attached, but it’s too late so you’re going to make it work.

This thing with Joel, though – you’re going to have to be careful. If you’re not, it’ll run away from you and – well. You don’t want to lose control of it.

You look around the bar and sigh. Unwiped tables, a booth that no one should sit in, floors to clean. A few hours of work before bed.

You know you’re going to spend them trying not to think about the man who just left.

thank you for reading <3 reblog, send feedback!

#joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller fanfiction

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icallhimjoey · 28 days

Text

Reinvent Love

♥ ♥ Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: You and Joe are treading new waters. You’re no longer flatmates, but still close. More than friends, but nothing defined. Nothing labeled. Determined to not lose what you have, though. But, can you?

CW / disclaimer: rpf, fem!reader, language, adult themes, fluff, season 3 of my flatmate!joe

Author’s note: uh-oh here we GO! the girls voted and the girls won, so here we are! the no-longer-flatmates-flatmate fic - you don’t need to have read define close or explain us, but it’ll obviously give you backstory, which might help!

Wordcount: 3.2K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five There was something living inside Joe’s chest.

It was only small, but definitely there. Ugly. Green. Growing. With potential to do real harm. It crawled around and scoped him out, exploring his heart from all different angles, carefully tasting it.

It hadn’t bitten him yet, but Joe knew if he lost sight of it – if he stopped trying to control it – that eventually, it would. And it would hurt. It didn’t exactly feel great now, but once it’d sink its teeth in, Joe knew he’d be done for.

He remembered when it still good. Still nice. Warm. And soft. And joyous, all full of love.

It used to be kind and sweet and would make him smile until his cheeks were quite literally cramping.

But it’d changed. It’d turned bad.

He wished he could’ve seen it coming.

It was a good thing that he found he was able to easily control it with rational thought. Problem was that rational thought had the habit of abandoning him once it got dark outside and he was alone in his flat.

His new flat.

Where everything was his.

Where everything got put in places that he chose. All his things were where he wanted them, all catering towards his routine. Which was why a basket of underwear made it into a bathroom cupboard, and why a shelf got put up near the balcony door, so he had a place to keep his cigarettes and a lighter. Gone were the days of rummaging through coat pockets ‘til he found what he was looking for.

It was sort of great, Joe wasn’t going to lie, living on his own.

It didn’t look quite as nice, not quite as homey, but Joe was sure he’d soon learn what the place was missing. He didn’t worry about it. There were more important things to worry about. Like, how quick dust built up into bunnies underneath the sofa and how every time he’d open his front door, it’d waft out from underneath, only to settle in the middle of the room for everyone to see. Or how somehow he panicked so much about keeping his plants alive that he was systematically overwatering all of them.

Idiot.

It was fine.

Rational thinking.

It was all fine.

Things were different now.

Good different.

“Oh, you shouldn’t have!” Joe joked as he let you in, pointing out the large bouquet of flowers in your hands.

His place already smellt amazing. Joe made a good roast, and had one going now, things in the oven, bubbling and simmering away.

“If I never did things I shouldn’t do, life would be very boring,” you said, laying the colourful bunch down on his island.

“Did... wait, did you actually get those for me?”

“Have you got a vase?” you were already opening cabinet doors. “You don’t, do you?”

When you didn’t get a reply, you turned to see Joe stare at the flowers. He looked a little dumbfounded.

“Joe?”

“Hmm?” he looked up at you and blinked a few times. “Oh, um...” he squeezed his eyes shut a second, trying to gather his thoughts.

Took too long, you thought.

“A vase?” you repeated, trying very hard to keep a straight face, to not let the smallest inkling of a smile slip through.

“Sorry, I don’t... I don’t think I’ve got a vase.”

Why the fuck would he own a vase, Joe thought.

“I’ll get you one as a housewarming gift,” you found a pitcher. “This’ll do for now.”

There was evidence on the counter of what Joe had been in the middle of, cutting veggies, preparing the gravy. But as you filled the pitcher with water, Joe still kind of hovered in the same spot in silence. Looked at the flowers that you’d brought in and felt silly for how those made him feel.

When you placed the pitcher in the middle of the island and reached for the bouquet, you broke his trance, and Joe softly laughed at himself.

“This is... my God, this is so sweet? I don’t think I’ve ever gotten flowers before.”

“Well,” you smiled back, about to throw stones into your own windows. “I didn’t get them for you.”

“Oh?” Joe immediately felt embarrassed. Mortified. Felt the skin of his neck flush with heat.

“I got them for your flat.”

Got him.

Joe let out the breath he was holding in defeat, dropping his head and smiling. Scoffed softly at himself because you were joking, and he was an idiot.

“You know, give it some colour. Give me something nice to look at when I’m here.” you plopped the flowers into the pitcher and didn’t get the chance to make it look nice, to arrange it a little, because before you could, you got picked up by the waist and shaken about. You shriek-laughed a loud, “No!”

“Something nice to look at?” Joe pressed his face into your cheek as you squealed through your giggles.

“Am I not nice to look at, huh?” Joe squeezed extra tight before he put you down, turning you in his arms and keeping you real close.

“You’re nice to look at,” you said sweetly, still grinning widely, nose nudging up at his. “If I could put you in a vase and arrange you all nice, I would.”

Joe snorted, and you felt it on your face.

“Hmm. You’re funny.”

You got kissed by soft lips that almost felt shy to kiss you.

“Don’t get me a vase.”

And then you got kissed a little harder. Bit more firm.

“I’ll get my own.”

“No,” you objected, speaking right into his mouth. “You’ll get a stupid one with like, frosted writing on, or something. Live, love, laugh.”

You felt Joe’s smile as he kissed you harder, both arms squeezing as they wrapped around your waist tighter. You sighed into Joe’s affection and took great comfort in the fact that you were alone. You were outside of your flat, which was still wild in your opinion, but at least you were alone.

Alone was good.

Joe’d gotten into the habit of showing affection when you were around others, around strangers, and you didn’t think you were ever going to get used to it.

The first time Joe reached to hold your hand, you’d nearly had a panic attack.

It wasn’t very cold, but the wind was cutting. Hurt your forehead as you walked and made you hunch as you pulled up your shoulders to shield yourself as best you could. Joe’s hand finding yours was a welcome warmth for your cold fingers, but it still made you fall silent as you tensed up.

Joe just held on for a few steps, and looked at you. You could see him stare from your peripheral, could feel the burn of it high up in your cheeks, and tried your best to ignore it.

“You can relax.” Joe humorously said, speaking softly and leaning in a little to make sure you could hear him.

“I am relaxed.” You immediately argued, because holding hands with Joe shouldn’t be weird. It should actually be normal. You tangled up with your full bodies more days than you didn’t when you shared a flat. If anything, Joe’s touches were exactly what turned you lax, all floppy and boneless.

“S’just cold.”

“Hmm,” Joe sounded unsure, very obviously not believing you, and squeezed your fingers a couple of times. When you didn’t smile, Joe let his own drop too, and asked if you were okay.

“Fine.” You reassured, growing a little defensive. If Joe could just stop talking about it, that’d be great.

“Should I– do you want me to let go?”

“No, it’s okay.” You said, sounding a little squeaky, but you doubled down with a squeeze of your own.

Joe took it, accepted it, albeit a little unsure if maybe he’d made the wrong move here. But you’d walked along, and you held hands, and when you fell into random conversation again, holding your hand became something Joe stopped thinking about. He absentmindedly rubbed his thumb along yours, and at one point used his grasp to pull you in front of him when you had to share a narrow bit of pavement with oncomers.

You weren’t like Joe.

Not for a single second had you been able to be as casual about it as Joe had been.

You focussed on your hand the whole while you walked, and couldn’t help but check to see if others were looking at it. If strangers that passed you looked down at your hands. To check if they could see. If they somehow knew that you’d never done this before.

You had.

But not like this. Not outside. Not in public.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to hold Joe’s hand, but there was something about this new phase you were in, where Joe walked over to yours to pick you up to go out for dinner together. Where he had to ring the doorbell and ask if he could quickly come up to use the toilet before you left. Where he pretended he didn’t know where the bathroom was and made you show him the way. Where he faked being anxious when you left your flat, saying that he hoped you liked the restaurant he booked a table at. Where he nervously asked if you liked Italian food, as if you hadn’t shared a million pizzas together.

Things were different now, and although you were close, would often do everything you could to dissolve into his skin, walking hand in hand through the streets of London felt insane. Like you were moving too fast, even though you understood how silly that sounded.

You’d spent that entire walk thinking of a natural reason to let go of his hand, and Joe had felt your fingers twitch. Felt how you seemed to change you mind about it every three seconds. But, you’d said he could hold onto you, so, he simply did.

It wasn’t until you reached the restaurant and used the heavy door as an excuse to wiggle your fingers from Joe’s hand, using both of yours to pull it open.

Baby steps, Joe thought as he smirked to himself, astonished that he’d gotten to hold your hand out in public for over ten minutes.

He was sure you’d slap him away the second he even attempted to intertwine your fingers together.

Which, coincidentally, was exactly what you did the first time Joe tried to lean in for a quick peck on the lips as you said goodbye to each other outside of his flat.

You’d been out, and were both in a bit of a rush to get home. You thought that the way you’d hugged his arm for a second was plenty goodbye. You’d pressed the side of your face to his bicep and said you’d see him later.

You’d reached the point where you wanted to go cross the street as Joe would walk the other way to get to his front door, and when you tried to step away, he yanked you right back by the elbow.

The way you recoiled away from him was so extreme, it startled Joe. You almost made it look like he was about to hit you.

“Jesus,” he mumbled under his breath, and you immediately apologised. You stepped back closer to him, were about to accept a quick kiss as an apology, but let your eyes nervously dart around to see if there were other people. If there were witnesses.

Joe just looked at you, blinked a few times and then, instead of leaning in for a quick kiss, squeezed you in your side.

“Calm down. Call me when you get home.”

And you’d blushed at how Joe’d smiled at you before he turned to head inside. Your face had remained hot until you got home where you then had to take a moment to shake all the nervous jitters from your body.

It was such a weird spot to be in, Joe thought.

How he couldn’t get too close if there was the slightest chance of someone seeing, but to have you literally whine at him inbetween his sheets if he didn’t touch you in the right spot with the right pressure at the right speed.

But steps were being made in the right direction.

You each had you own place now, and Joe made a point to sometimes not see you for a few days. He kind of enjoyed getting to miss you. He liked how his stomach did flips when you’d ring his doorbell after not having been over for a few days. He liked how absence made his heart grow fonder, and how that felt healthy.

Joe assumed you felt the same way; maybe you didn’t like it as much as he did, but surely you also understood how this was at least more normal.

He never thought that what the two of you were before was toxic.

It was just... weird.

Good weird.

But this was better.

Still a little weird, he wasn’t going to lie. But better.

He got to tell you to call him when you got home now. He got to invite you over to his flat for Sunday roast now. And you would then come and bring him flowers now.

Joe had never received flowers before. Well, maybe he had. But not like this. Not from a girl who brought them just for him. Just because. He kind of loved it. Kind of loved you.

“God, you were right.” Joe said, eyes unblinking, comfortably staring.

Both satisfied and full after an early dinner, the two of you laid out on Joe’s sofa - the one that took six weeks and then two more to arrive - and both looked at the bouquet up on the kitchen island. You were tucked into his side, with one of his arms slung around your frame. You held one of his hands with both of yours and absentmindedly played with his fingers.

“I don’t know how this works but they kind of make the whole room look better.”

“They do.” You agreed, smiling, because you did that. You turned your head, tilting up to look at Joe’s face. “Please let me pick out a vase for you, though.”

Joe’s grin slowly grew as he said, “Absolutely not. Might just keep the pitcher for flowers only, I kind of like it.”

“Ugh,” you grimaced. “This is such a boy’s flat.”

“Well,” Joe started, raising his eyebrows, finally breaking eye-contact with the fresh bloom, tucking in his chin to look down at you. “I am a boy, so, that checks out.”

For a moment you just looked at each other, smiling, cuddled up into the corner like you always were cuddled up into the corner together. When you saw Joe flick his eyes down to your lips, you pulled the hand you were still holding closer to bite right into the skin between his index finger and thumb.

Joe pretended to flinch, but you were barely leaving marks as you smiled through the bite, big eyes looking up at him. Joe took a moment to just take you in. The way you looked at him had him biting his own lip before he tried to grab hold of one of your hands to pull into his mouth.

You were already scream-laughing and trying your best to pull your hand away before he even got close. It left you in a wrestling pile of limbs, Joe with his mouth open, growling and ready to bite at whatever got close enough. He ended up getting at bit of your sleeve in between his teeth, pinning you down into the soft seat-cushions and he felt drunk with joy.

He was so fucking happy.

Pretty girl in his flat, giggling away on his sofa, and she’d brought him flowers. It was kind of disgusting how he’d turned to goop on the inside.

Joe didn’t wait for your giggles to die out to get his lips on yours and kiss you silly.

There was something living inside Joe’s chest.

It was sticky and sugary sweet and Joe loved the taste it.

Loved how it bubbled over and leaked into his stomach.

Loved how it swirled into his limbs and made him reach for your hand to hold when you were walking outside.

Loved how it made him put his arm around your shoulders to pull you tightly into his side as you waited to get your coffees whilst the barista prepared them.

Loved how it grew as he took the lead on this new way of being together the way you had done before when you still lived together.

It made Joe want to introduce you to someone as his girlfriend, knowing full well that you hadn’t had that conversation yet, and that you’d likely have a melt down, but God.

It was just what he wanted to do, he couldn’t help it.

He wouldn’t.

There was a high probability that you’d actually murder him if he pulled a stunt like that.

The fact that you were kissing like this outside of your flat right now was already sort of stretching it, Joe knew.

You let Joe kiss you on his sofa for a minute. Let him slide his nose around yours with an open mouth that hovered over yours inbetween kisses. He made you work for it, having to lift up your head for more when he teased you for too long.

When you felt how Joe started readjusting his position on top of you, you knew you had to break it off.

“Hmm– Joe, no, I gotta–”

“Hm?”

“I gotta go, there’s– stop, there’s a potential flatmate coming over in a bit, I gotta– Joe!”

Joe finally broke away with an annoyed grumble leaving his throat as he did.

“Fine.”

“I can... I could always come back after?”

Joe shifted enough to let you escape the sofa.

“Hmm, you could, but I do have an early morning, so it’s probably not worth the trouble.” Joe sighed, lying back with an arm curled behind his head, watching you twist your clothes so it all sat right again.

“No?”

“I’ll probably be asleep by the time you make it back here.”

“Well,” you started, slinging your arms into your coat. “All depends on how long this is going to take. If it’s another 19-year-old trying to negotiate for a 30-70 rent split first thing, I’ll only be a second.”

“God, for your sake, I hope it’s not another student. But for my sake...” Joe made big eyes, giving you a suggestive look that broke into a smile when you laughed.

You gave Joe a last quick kiss as you bent over the sofa and told him you’d see him later, all casual.

Joe’s smile lingered as he watched you walk out.

“Call me when you get home!”

Yea... there was something living inside Joe’s chest.

And it was cuddly and fuzzy and comfortable and good...

For now.

---

The Taglisted

@ali-in-w0nderland, @alwayslindie, @babybluebex, @bylermaxmayfield, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson, @choke-me-eddie, @demonsanddemogorgons, @did-it-work, @dirtyeddietini, @djoseph-quinn, @dolcevit4, @eddies-puppet, @emma-munson, @emotionaldreamer, @everythinghasafacee, @figmentofquinn, @ghost-proofbaby, @ghostinthebackofyourhead, @hanahkatexo, @harringtonfan4, @hazelenys, @jewellethief, @joesquinns, @keikoraven, @kennedy-brooke, @lovelyblueness, @manda-panda-monium, @mandyjo8719, @mexicanfolklore, @munson-mjstan, @nadixq, @nglharry, @notverywise, @pepperstories, @phyllosilicate-s, @royale1803, @sherrylyn628, @sidthedollface2, @solzi1420, @songforeddiemunson, @sweetberry47, @take-everything-you-can, @thebellenouvelle, @tlclick73, @werepartnersnow, @winterwakesthewolf, @witchwolflea, @yelyahcardella, @yunirgo

taglist currently full, sorry

#Joseph Quinn #Joe Quinn #Joseph Quinn x You #Joe Quinn x You #Joseph Quinn x Reader #Joe Quinn x Reader #Joe Quinn Fanfic #Joe Quinn fanfiction #Joseph Quinn Fanfic #Joseph Quinn Fanfiction #joe quinn x y/n #joseph quinn x y/n #icallhimjoey #define close #explain us #reinvent love

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chrolloluvr · 2 months

Note

May I request Mammon angst HCs please? Like the reader is possibly breaking up with him or something? (i love your HCs for mammon<3)

Mammon Breaking Up Hcs

note: Thank you i'm so glad you like them pookie!! also yes i love this idea ❤️❤️

warnings: Cursing, creepy behavior, unbalanced power dynamic, killing. Not proofread!

Female!Reader, (no specific gender, so can be GenderNeutral!Reader)

It would be best to tell him over text, since he is guaranteed to throw a toddler like temper tantrum if you ever told him in person.

So you text him over text, what happens? He 100% thinks you're joking at first. He thinks you aren't being serious at all, and that wow babe, you might even be a bigger clown than I am.

But when he realized that you were being serious, he gets angry. How dare you? Why would you ever break up with him? He is the king of greed, he has trillions of dollars in the bank, so why don't you want to stay by his side? Did he do something? Did he hurt you? What happened? Baby, we can sort this out-

In a way, still doesn't think you are being serious, which is what he tries to tell himself. So he will let you leave, and will act like he doesn't need you.

Another author said this already, but he will 100% go through the stages of grief, (he will never go through acceptance, because in his mind, you will always come crawling back to him.)

He will be in denial for a very long time. Let's say you move out, and even start residing in another ring. He will send you texts. All. The. Time.

Your phone will mods likely have 103 Missed Calls, 986 Messages, and 37 Voicemails. He is crazy, and especially crazy for you. So when you don't respond to him, he does not understand why. He likes to think that you were just going on vacation for a while. He genuinely thinks you two are still together.

Anger- Once he sees that you have indeed moved on, and that he is no longer living in fantasy land, he gets extremely angry. His general mood spikes, he lashes out (wayyy more than he used to), and a-lot of his servants are scared to talk to him. Will absolutely keep bombarding you with texts every day. He will even get his servants to start texting you on his 100's of extra HellPhones.

Mamm 🕸️💚 11:34

Come hone ygu little cungt

Mamm 🕸️💚 11:35

ANSWERF ME.

Mamm 🕸️💚 11:35

Do ygu knoe how easily i can replaece yu

Mamm🕸️💚 11:36

Fine go shack uo with sorm dirty hoboes you little slut

Mamm 🕸️💚 11:36

I dont kneed u and youir mediocar holes

So yeah... thats just one example. He has so many spelling mistakes because he is typing so fast, and practically brekaing his phone from how angry he is.

But in reality he does need you. You are. the one thing that keeps him running. However he will never, over his dead body, ever admit that.

Bargaining- He will send things to your... new home... in gift baskets. Fizzarolli plushies, flowers, tickets to his live events, expensive jewelry, the list goes on. It gets to a point where (if you live in an apartment complex) People start stealing his gifts and start putting them up online to sell. (And they go for 10s of thousands of dollars.)

He send these to you so that you can hopefully come crawling back into his life, so that he can control you again.

At this point, you have most likely made it public about your distance between you and the sin. Your relationship was extremely public, and known by everybody.

He refuses to speak publicly, because he wants people to think he still controls you. And when i say your relationship was big, it was definitely the most talked about relationship in all of Hell. People will go nuts about you two breaking up. Another author said this as well, but people will go crazy with the comments.

"L Mammon fumbled so bad its actually wild."

"Bros got plenty other options 💀"

"Why tf would she/they break up w/ HIM???🤰"

"Now that hes single I call dibs 🙌"

You try your best to ignore the comments, but eventually you cant, its not just online, but in real life you feel cornered as well. You might even start to reconsider your departure with him. Which is exactly where he wants you.

Depression- He spirals into somewhat of an insecure man. He strives to be better. He ups his game for his big pageants, soon to be bigger, just to impress you.

He maaaay or may not have killed people in your favor. This is known, obviously, but his obsession along with his newfound insecurity has left him no choice but to show that if you dont want to come home, he will show you its safer than anywhere else.

Overall, if you do end up coming back to him, he is overjoyed with happiness, and will take extra precautions to ensure you wont ever walk out on him and his warm embrace again.

However if you end up never wanting anything to do with him, he will be devastated, but he will force himself to get over it. He is Mammon, he truly does not need you. In reality, you were somebody he felt an unexplainable feeling to protect. He absolutely can live without you, but for some reason, he feels like he cant. If somebody were to ever bring you up, he would lash out, and make his anger everybody's problem. He may get over you after a while, but he will never fully accept the fact that you left him.

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nautilusopus · 1 year

Text

okay FIIIIIINE i'll throw my hat into the Goncharov ring

Been a while i've done a proper movie breakdown, may as well be this one.

Rather surprisingly (but perhaps not too surprisingly given the unexpected renaissance of things like the original Dracula and Breaking Bad on this website out of seemingly nowhere and with very little prompting), I'm seeing a lot of new people suddenly interested in Martin Scorsese's seminal film classic Goncharov, originally released in 1973. Obviously a movie like that doesn't make it coming up on 50 years without generating a lot of discussion about the different ways the movie resonates and why, but coming into it in 2022 there's been so much cultural cruft that's collected around Goncharov that (similar to stories like Fight Club and Scarface) it's a little hard to parse what it's actually about with all the mythologising that's gone on around the characters.

Those movies, in one way or another, are about portraying the downfall of their protagonists -- Fight Club's after ironically creating another system of control and dehumanisation and becoming what he sought to destroy, Scarface's after being consumed by the wealth and power he's amassed. A lot of people assume it's that kind of story, because aren't most well-loved movies? However, I think this is ironically an assumption made because of the genre of film it is. All the people that aren't going, "OMG Goncharov is so cool and badass and fucks bitches," are going, "WOW I can't believe Goncharov is a cautionary tale about power corrupting," and in the process people miss that Goncharov is first and foremost about loss, in all its different forms.

I'm both kind of surprised and frustrated people miss this, given how utterly pervasive the movie is with its clock symbolism -- it's the one thing everyone remembers about it, it was in all the tie-ins. I dunno, maybe that got funneled back into the theory where they're meant to reinforce how Goncharov is just a mortal man at the end of the day, which is fine I guess, but the movie overall becomes a lot clearer when you interpret it through the lens of, "These things are gone and you can never get them back; clocks don't go backwards."

One of the most fascinating things about the movie is how every character embodies a different kind of loss. I'm gonna ease into this and start not with Goncharov but with:

Rybak, who is usually associated with loss as we typically think of it, i.e. the loss of loved ones via death. This comes up all the time, either in his trust issues (why he's being such a prick at the wedding), in the card game (he never bothers to bet much money, knowing he's bad at poker, and still loses all the same). Rybak is terrified of loss, cannot manage it, and ultimately is punished by losing what few people he had left and then being spared by Lorenzo who deems him punished enough, and is forced to survive, to grapple with what his life is now without them.

Goncharov's is actually more subtle, and it's loss of small, insignificant things as a result of the larger losses he believes he's processed. This is something that's frequently contrasted against Rybak. The pawn shop going under is actually a microcosm of this whole thing. Goncharov anticipates that this is obviously going to lead to financial issues for him, plans accordingly to deal with this, and... it works! He's saved! Except that means card games can't be hosted at his place anymore, given it's burned to the ground. Does this matter, in the grand scheme of his life? No, of course not. Poker night still gets had all the same. But it is different now, and always will be. Little things like this continue to add up, until something as insignificant as a towel -- a towel that never should have been in his room, but Sofia is no longer there to drop off his laundry and chat with him -- is ultimately the final nail in a coffin built of insignificant splinters, each one an imperceptible change underneath the much more larger, noticeable story beats of things like grief.

Otto is the big obvious one I'm not gonna linger on: loss of his youth, moments in the past that he wants to redo but can't. Most people at least seem to have gotten this one.

(This is also what the clocks get associated with a lot, which again, doesn't NOT make sense but also if it were just for this one character that, while thematically important, was honestly just a side character with limited screentime and only two scenes, would they really be all over the movie before Otto's name is even mentioned?)

Sofia's a bit abstract, and is the loss of self -- of the familiar anchors we have to who we are, what we think our core principles are, our place in society, who we want to be to our loved ones -- and by the time she dies she is rendered utterly unrecognisable to herself, and is horrified by it. She grieves herself the same way Rybak grieves his wife (even gets a direct visual callback via the way her face is lit when she's burning Lorenzo's check). You see echoes of this in Goncharov as well, but while Sofia is grieving the person she used to be, Goncharov is grieving the world around him (even though really, it's the same world it always was -- time keeps ticking on, one second per second, and neither one of them can ever un-fire that gun).

Lorenzo, tragically, gradually loses his freedom (and maybe in a parallel world would actually be the protagonist of a movie where he chokes on his own hubris like everyone seems to think Goncharov is GRUMBLE GRUMBLE). As he comes into his own more and more by his family's legacy, he is afforded fewer and fewer options about what decisions he can even make. Arguably he was doomed from the start, but the further he clings to power as a means to freedom, the more it drives him to destroying everything he ever (thought he) cared about. The tragedy of his character, and what makes him a good villain, is that he can clearly see what he is doing to himself and he absolutely hates it (his walking out early at the wedding is a tacit admission of this), but his absolute refusal to accept loss, to accept grief and pain and all the awful shit that comes with the human condition, is what causes him to toss aside every out he has because if he has enough CONTROL over his situation, surely he will never have to lose anything ever again. But, really, he already has.

I dunno. Goncharov is one of those movies that is great, and everyone seems to realise it's great, but nobody ever really puts into words why, and that's how you get Fight Club fans lmao. And it sucks because the actual discussion around the movie beyond "it's another hubris story but REALLY GOOD guys" is so much more fascinating and a much more earnest emotional truth that just never gets talked about.

#goncharov #goncharov (1973)#martin scorsese #al pacino #robert di niro #gene hackman #harvey keitel #gaslight gatekeep goncharov

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buckyalpine · 2 years

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18+ Minors dni

Bucky x f reader, reader x avengers (platonic)

A/N: My first piece of writing ever for the lovely @buckies-dolle’s writing challenge. I had so much fun with this!! I know its not amazing, I had 100 ideas I wanted to add. I hope you enjoy it anyway! Also please leave all the comments, would love to know what you think 💕🥺

Prompt: 29. Please what baby

Warnings: Smutty smut (voyeurism, daddy kink, lil choking, breeding kink, unprotected sex) swearing, some angst (flashback with sad Bucky), Fluff!

Word count: 6.7k It’s so long. I’m so sorry. I just couldn’t stop.

“Okay, seriously where the hell are they?” Tony paced around the room, having lost contact with you and Bucky for over 12 hours. The mission was simple; retrieve a few files from an old inactive Hydra base, something you had done many times before. However, the long period of radio silence was starting to worry the team as they sat together watching the now blank screen that was previously sharing a live feed from the mission.

“Y/n’s done this before; she knows what she’s doing. The base is inactive anyway, I’m sure they’ve already finished and made it back to the safe house” Steve said but it was more to himself. He couldn’t help the anxiety that kept gnawing at the back of his mind thinking about Bucky. Even though Hydra no longer had any control over him, he worried for his best friend every time a mission involved the fucking group.

“They’ll be fine, they’ve never had any issues on missions before” Nat chimed in, though she also started to feel uneasy wondering if you were both okay.

“I know she can handle herself but the poor thing is stuck alone with tin man” Tony scoffed.

Steve quirked an eyebrow. “And that’s a problem because…?”

“Because y/n speaks like 3 words a year and all cyborg does is grunt and stare. This is their first mission partnered together and they go missing. Fantastic” Tony glared at the screen as if giving it the stink eye would force it to reconnect to the feed.

“We’ll try reaching them in an hour, their phones are probably dead” Steve sighed, getting up to stretch from the seat he sat in for the last 3 hours. You were the newest agent to join the team just over two years ago. Highly skilled and an excellent assassin though initially, Tony had his doubts when Steve brought you in.

Flashback – 2 years ago

“I want to trust your word capsicle but I don’t see killer assassin. She looks like one of those dwarf bunnies Thor keeps insisting we get”

You were sitting outside of Tony’s lab anxiously picking at your nail polish. Steve was excited to introduce you to the team, knowing you’d be an excellent recruit but it would take some convincing.

“I promise she knows what she’s doing when she’s on the field, that’s when it matters, right?”

All it took was one mission for Tony to quickly backtrack on his words.

“How the hell did you manage to take them all down without making a sound?” Tony said, eyes wide as he saw 6 hydra guards slumped by the door while you wiped the blood from the knife onto your tactical pants.

“I’m just really quiet” you said with a small shy smile, quickly retreating down the hall to take up a new position.

On the field you showed nothing but blood lust. Every move was quick and calculated, wasting no time in taking down targets while lurking silently in the shadows. Outside of the field, you were completely different. You didn’t do great with large social gatherings but you were an excellent listener when someone needed to vent. Your skills also meant you were quick to notice people’s changes in mood and behavior. You noted exactly what they’d look for when they needed comfort. It made it easy for you to quietly take care of others, something you loved to do and they loved you for it. Peter enjoyed having someone who understood all his pop culture references. Nat and Wanda were ecstatic to have another girl join the team. Tony smiled every time he woke up in his lab to a cup of coffee made exactly how he liked. You had Sam’s heart the day you made beignets. Over the past two years, the team grew protective over you.

Present

“Which safe house did you put them in anyway?” Sam asked, now also starting to feel uneasy having not heard from you in so long.

“I actually put them in the Motel that’s half way between the base and city. Thought it would be more comfortable for them if they had separate rooms” Tony shrugged, having stopped pacing and now glancing at a gadget he had sitting on the table. “There are also trackers in their phones but they’re useless unless the phones are turned on. Both of their trackers are offline right now”.

“Is there really no way for us to contact them?” Steve was on edge now, thinking about how Bucky would be handling staying in a room alone after visiting a hydra base. Did they even make it back to their rooms yet?

“I mean there is one way for us to check on them but I didn’t want to do that unless they were definitely in danger” Tony said, now fiddling with a small gadget he had sitting on the table. “I had a few cameras installed in some of the safe houses and places we go to after missions just to be safe. I can hook this up and we’ll be able to see everything live in their rooms”.

“Tony!” Nat smacked his arm. “Were you ever going to tell us you had creeper cameras set up?”

“It’s not for creeping; I just didn’t want a repeat from when Cap, Peter and Bird brain over here compromised the safe house. We didn’t have eyes on anyone, got lucky Thunder was able to help them”.

“I told you I got bad vibes from the hostage” Peter groaned, recalling the failed mission where Loki had managed to infiltrate the group, posing as their captured Hydra agent.

“Number one, what does that even mean. Number two, it was supposed to be a hydra agent, obviously these so called vibes you are referring to would have been bad” Sam said, with exasperation in his voice. “If you spoke like a normal person and said hey I think this guy isn’t actually the one we were supposed to capture, maybe we wouldn’t have been compromised”.

“ANYWAY, the system can only be accessed from the compound,” Tony took the gadget he was fiddling with and plugged it into the computer. “This controls all the cameras, FRIDAY can you pinpoint their coordinates and feed it to the computer. Sam, get redwing ready in case this doesn’t work”.

Sam left the room and the team anxiously gathered around the screen, as it started loading. Two room numbers appeared on the screen; one for you and the other Bucky’s. At this point Steve was practically breathing down Tony’s neck hoping to see you both safe and sound. He felt a pang of guilt knowing he was the one to bring you to the team and if something ever happened to you- “Alright, check y/n’s room first”.

“It’s empty…”

“What do you mean empty?” The air in the room grew thick, laced with anxiety.

“You’re looking at the same thing I’m looking at Rogers, its empty. No one’s there, doesn’t even look like anyone’s stepped in the room. Where the fuck would she be?” Tony was close to putting on his suit and going to your location directly instead of waiting any longer. Suddenly one of the tracker screens flashed a green light beside Bucky’s name. “Wait, Bucky’s phone tracker is back online. Cap, call Barnes”.

The phone rang for ages until an out of breath Bucky picked up.

“H-hello?” “Bucky, where are you, where is y/n, did you guys make it to the rooms safely?”

“Steve? Y-yeah made it a few h-hours ago. Uh should be in her r-room- ah. Probably tired from the m-mission. Didn’t talk to h-her”

“Why do you sound like that, if you’ve been injured we can send for extraction immediately, is y/n okay?”

“Nonono its fine uh- fuck its nothing we’ll be- hng sorry. I’ll be fine. Y/ns probably fine, think she went for a walk, I’ll check, bye”

The call ended abruptly, Steve looked dumbfounded at the group. “He hung up, he sounded off”. Some of his worries eased; Bucky sounded sort of okay but still no word about you. Also why did he sound like he was out of breath if they made it to the motel hours ago? Something wasn’t adding up and he wasn’t about to take any chances trying to call Bucky again. “Okay fuck this, I don’t care about anyone’s privacy anymore, Tony just turn on the cameras for Bucky’s room”

“Language cap” Tony shook his head, clicking on Bucky’s room number; the screen lit up sharing the live feed from his motel room.

On the screen the team saw Bucky pounding you right against the wall, your arms and legs tightly wrapped around his waist, clinging onto him.

“D-d-daddy don’t fucking stop, please d-don’t stop oh my god B-Bucky!”

Bucky’s metal hand moved to close around your neck, squeezing at the sides as he groaned watching your eyes roll to the back of your head.

“Yeah babydoll, you like that? You want me to keep filling you up, such a good little slut for me y/n fuuck” Bucky’s head fell onto the crook of your neck sucking dark bruises onto the sensitive skin.

“What the fuck are you guys wa- WOAH” Sam’s eyes nearly popped out of his head as he returned back into the room to see Bucky’s large naked form on the screen, manhandle you against the wall, sweat glistening off his shoulders. Angry red lines littered his back from where you were gripping him, holding onto dear life.

Tony’s mouth dropped. Steve turned redder than he thought was humanly possible. Nat choked on the water she was drinking. Sam was thankfully quick enough to slap his hands over Peters eyes and ears before yelling at Tony to turn it off.

“OKAY, they’re CLEARLY more than okay, TONY TURN IT OFF!” “IM TRYING BUT ITS NOT WORKING!” “Seriously? Mr. I have a custom fancy suit billionaire play boy genius can’t turn off a computer screen?!” “I never had to use this live stream system before! It’s not my fault just- okay this isn’t working. Everyone clear the room. Do not come near this place for the next hour. God I hope they stop within the next hour”

To say everyone was shocked was an understatement. Their y/n. Sweet, quiet, shy y/n wrapped around the super soldier, while he fucked her into oblivion.

Sam was the first to speak up. “This couldn’t have been their first time right? Like they looked- that is not how anyone’s first time together goes, when the hell have those two even spoken?! Steve, did you know anything about this? Also are we sure that was y/n? I need go to out and get some air; I’m going to need therapy after this”

“No, Bucky’s never mentioned anything before. Now that I think about it though, he did seem to be adjusting better over the last year but I didn’t think anything of it, just thought he was getting used to being free.”

“That was definitely y/n” Tony chimed in “How many other y/ns do you know, with y/c/h. I knew she was a freak on the field but I didn’t see this coming. Honestly, this raised my respect for Barnes, didn’t think he’d have it in him”.

Your salacious sounds and the sound of skin on skin slapping carried through the compound making it impossible for the team to ignore. Tony had a very obvious tent in his pants.

“OMG Tony” Steve hid his face in his hands as he saw Tony adjust himself.

“What do you want me to do capsicle, don’t act like your above getting a boner”

“I mean its’s…hot” Nat smirked, unable to ignore the sounds that continued to pour out from the surveillance room.

Bucky’s cock rammed into you at an indescribable pace, hitting that exact spot that made you cry out with each thrust. “So. Fucking. Tight.” His thrusts punctuated you with each word. “H-how are you still so tight after I’ve fucked you so many times, you fit so perfectly around me baby, could live in this pussy forever” he groaned into your neck.

“Need you daddy, need you so bad, m’ so close”, your whiny needy voice was music to Bucky’s ears as he pushed you closer and closer to the edge. You clung onto him, biting into his shoulders to try and keep your voice down but he made it impossible.

“Yeah baby, you gonna cum again? Can feel you squeezing me so tight holy fuck, make a mess on my cock” Bucky pulled his head away from the crook of your neck to look down at where you connected. He whimpered at the sight, his shaft completely covered in your slick, obscene sounds filling the room every time he fucked into you. “Be a good girl and cum baby, cum around my cock” He moved his hand to trail down between your bodies, pinching both your nipples before rubbing quick circles on your sensitive clit.

“I’m g-gonna- daddy I’m gonna cu-“Your words got cut off by your own climax unexpectedly hitting you hard and fast. “ohmygodohmygodohmygod”. Your vision blurred, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes at the force of your climax. You could no longer hear anything, the blood rushing through your ears over powering the sound of Bucky fucking you through your high, pressing down onto your clit to make it last as long as possible. He felt your walls squeeze and clench around him making his cock throb, momentarily stuttering in his pace as he felt his own climax starting to build up.

“Fuck you squirted, I can feel it d-dripping down to my balls, you’re so fucking perfect, taking my cock so well babydoll, think you can give me one more? Love the way your body feels baby, I need you to give me one more”

You had already cummed twice, oversensitive from the previous two orgasms Bucky gave you. As soon you reached the room, Bucky wasted no time ripping your clothes off and latching his mouth onto your clit. His tongue swirled in circles, rutting his hard length onto the mattress to relieve some of the tension. You didn’t even bother checking into your assigned room. After the third climax, you were too far gone to hear anything Bucky was saying to you at this point, feeling limp in his arms, barely registering the bruising grip he had holding onto your ass and thighs. The sudden coolness of his metal hand slapping your check broke you out of your trance.

“Tell me you slut, or are you too cockdrunk over daddy’s cock to answer me”. His pace had slowed down to a slow grind pressing you hard against the wall, drinking in your fucked out expression. He loved seeing you like this; hair disheveled, cheeks stained with tears and mouth agape, unable to form a complete sentence. The only sounds leaving your mouth were moans each time he pushed into you deeper. Your neck and shoulders had a trail of small bruises; his favorite way to claim and mark you. You were the most beautiful sight he ever saw in his life. You could feel the base of him rubbing over your oversensitive clit. You moaned into his neck, digging your nails into his shoulders, adding to the litter of scars you already marked him with. “F-fuck daddy s-s-so sensitive. C-c-an’t”.

Still fucking into you, Bucky moved from the wall, dropping you onto the bed. His body caged you, face dark with pure lust and adoration. Throwing both legs over his shoulders, as he hit a new angle that made you see stars. You could already feel a new high build up causing you to sob into Bucky’s shoulder.

“Can’t?” He mocked your tone. “You sure you can’t give me one more baby?” Picking up his pace, Bucky was relentless, his animalistic primal urges completely taking over his brain. His thrusts unfaltering as he drove you further into the mattress. “Come on babydoll, just give me one more, need you to cum around my cock so bad, one more time, please baby please” Bucky’s dominance started faltering as he started to feel your walls clench around him.

Your hands gripped tightly onto his biceps, clawing up them, trying to ground yourself as you felt right on the edge. Bucky trailed kisses from your neck, focused on how your chest bounced with each thrust. “So fucking beautiful, could look at this all day” He moved down to pull your nipple into his mouth, giving it a harsh tug. It sent another wave of pleasure over you, causing your walls to flutter, slick further drenching his cock. “I can feel you milking me baby, come on, let go. I got you baby, let go, cum for me y/n, baby please, need this so bad, want to feel you”

That was all it took, his words caused your walls to flutter uncontrollably, your clit throbbing as you felt waves and waves of euphoria wash over you. “BUCKY FUCKK”. You looked beautiful beneath him, every moan leaving your lips making his cock leak with arousal. His pace grew sloppy as he fucked you through your high, now starting to chase his own. “Fuck yessss baby, say my fucking name, feel so good when you cum around my cock. Love when you make such a mess on me, keep squeezing me y/n feels so fucking good oh fuck m’ not gonna last long baby girl” Bucky sobbed into your shoulder, your walls pulling him in deeper, tightening making it almost difficult for him to move.

“Fill me up daddy, please, feels so good B-Bucky” You were completely fucked out, floating in and out of consciousness, wanting nothing more than to feel him fill you up. You needed him just as bad. You pulled him down, nipping at his lips, giving him sloppy kisses all over his face. You let your tongue slip in between his lips swallowing his moans as his arms gave in and he let his body collapse onto you. Your words had an indescribable effect on him.

“Don’t say that unless you want it baby, you want my cum? You need me- shit, need me to fill you up? You like when d-daddy- fuck gives you all his cum, keep you so full for d-days?”

“Please daddy, pleaseplease”

“Please what baby, tell daddy what you want, say it”

“Need your cum in me, fuck please Bucky!”

“Fuck baby, m so close, love cumming in this pussy, you love when I cum in you baby? You love feeling me fill you up till your dripping and making a mess? Don’t even know if this sweet tight pussy can handle it baby, God theres so much fucking cum, I can feel it” You nodded, sucking onto his neck, marking him “Greedy c-cumslut, you’re f-f-fucking mine. Always. Fucking. Mine” Bucky could feel his heavy balls aching, tightening as it slapped against your soaked core. A warm feeling of ecstasy tingled through his spine, travelling through his body, his cock throbbing, desperate to release.

“Might just have to get you pregnant, fuck, you’d look so fucking beautiful carrying my babies” Oh you liked that. You fucking loved it. Bucky’s words caused you to cry out pulling him even closer. Even in your fucked out state, you definitely heard what he said. Bucky could feel your arousal gush around him, your body now clinging onto him with a vice like grip. “You want that baby? You want my babies? Baby m’ gonna cum” “Fuck yes Bucky please, give me your babies daddy, need it so bad” You moved your legs to wrap around his waist, digging your heels into him, forcing him deeper into you.

He moaned at the feeling of your legs wrapping around him, his metal arm gripping the head board allowing him to speed up his pace. "I'm gonna cum, I’m gonna cum, m’ gonna fucking cu- FUUCCKKK” Bucky bit down hard onto your neck to keep from roaring out, the grip he had on the headboard caused it to crack and splinter above you while his other hand tore the sheets he was gripping onto. You could feel his cock swell, hot spurts of white cum burst though his sensitive head, spilling out of you as he continued to gently rock his hips into you, whimpering . “So much cum baby, still fucking cumming, you feel so g-good y/n take it baby, know you always take it so well”.

Bucky stilled in his moments, nuzzling against your neck, placing gentle kisses on all the bruises that now covered your neck and shoulders. “You okay bubs?” He pushed a strand of hair away from your face, tucking it behind your ear while softly caressing your forehead. You nodded, hardly able to speak but the blissed out expression you had on your face told Bucky all he needed to know.

He got up and went to turn on the shower, making sure it was at the exact temperature you liked before picking you up and carrying you over. Both of you stood under the hot water, letting the steam relax your muscles. The scent of lavender filled the shower as Bucky poured some shower gel onto a washcloth, massaging your back and shoulders. You took your time placing little kisses over the scarred tissue where his metal arm met his body. After you both cleaned up, you wrapped yourself around Bucky, clinging onto him like a koala bear as he picked you up, setting you down onto the bed, covering both of you with the soft sheets.

Back at the compound

“I think they’re done. Its quiet now” Steve made his way up to the surveillance room again, hoping to see you and Bucky with clothes on.

“Alright, lets go see” Tony began to follow Steve, and saw Peter pale as ever, still looking like he saw a ghost as he shakily got up from the chair. “Not you Spiderling, you stay there. Cover your ears or watch tiktoks or something”

As they walked into the room, the scene on the screen was yet again not something they expected to see.

“Can we stay like this?” Waves of sleep washed over you, cuddled up on Bucky’s chest, his metal arm tracing mindless shapes onto the soft skin on your hips.

“I could stay like this forever with you baby girl, I love you” Bucky pressed soft kisses onto your forehead and nose. You nuzzled against his warm body, inhaling his soft scent as you fought sleep, trying to stay awake for as long as you could with the love of your life. Bucky noticed your squirming. “Go to sleep bubba, its been a long day” His fingers made their way to your hair, gently massaging down from your scalp to your neck.

“Don’t want to” you mumbled into his neck, hitching your leg over his torso him so you could pull yourself impossibly closer to him. “This is the first time we got to spend together alone without having to hide from anyone. I want to be awake for every single minute”

“You know, we could just tell everyone and you could move into my room. Been over a year of pretending, I don’t like not being able to kiss you whenever I want,” You looked up to see Bucky pouting down at you. “You’ve been so patient with me, taking everything at my pace. I want to whole world to know you’re mine, that I love you”.

Bucky wrapped his arms around you, rolling both of you over as he now laid on top of you. “I knew from the day you sat with me in the bar and asked if I preferred to be called James or Bucky, you were special” He nuzzled his nose against yours, placing a soft kiss on the corner of your lips. “Every time you sneak into my room to help me with my nightmares, I hope the sun doesn’t rise so I can hold you for longer. I can’t describe the happiness I feel when I’m with you; I want to be able to do this all the time”

“Are you sure Buck? You’d want me to move into your room with you? You know this also means no more sneaking around on secret dates” “More than sure doll, need everyone *kiss* to know *kiss *you belong to me *kiss*”

“Okay, they are adorable” Wanda gushed as she watched you and Bucky fall asleep, blissfully unaware that anyone had heard or seen the last few hours together. Nat blushed seeing her friend unbelievably happy, protected in the arms of someone that clearly loved her more than anyone else. The shy demeanor you had around everyone else was non-existent with Bucky.

“I have to admit, they make a good pair. Didn’t think Barnes or y/l/n had it in them. Guess you have to always watch out for the quiet ones,” Tony grinned, genuinely happy you both found happiness in each other. “Maybe we should soundproof the walls in tin mans room if they’re going to move in together. Actually I’ll do it now so he doesn’t suspect anything. You okay there cap?”

Steve’s eyes were glassy hearing how happy and in love Bucky was with you. His best friend deserved it after all he had been through and the fact that you were the one to give him happiness made warmth spread through his chest. He was so happy he brought you to the team. Bucky’s stoic expression disappeared entirely. They had never seen him so gentle as he cuddled into you while you slept. For the first time, the team saw him look at peace.

***

Bucky thought he would have to convince Steve to delay sending the jet to pick them, surprised when Steve easily agreed. “No problem Buck, actually the jet might arrive later than anticipated, that’s okay with you and y/n right?”

“Yeah that’s fine, thanks punk” *call disconnected* Steve smirked, purposely sending the jet a day later than necessary. He would have no problem with sending the jet a week later if it meant you both got to spend some time together. “Steve sounded….happy” Bucky looked confused as he placed his phone back on the table, walking back over to the bed where you were wrapped under the sheets. His dog tags hung around your neck, your hair spread on the pillow like a halo. You skin glowed as the sun crept through the curtains, you looked like an angel. His angel. “That’s good right? Come here and cuddle me” You made grabby hands towards Bucky as he flopped onto the bed trapping you under him. “Oof- get off me you big baby” You giggled and Bucky nuzzled his face into your bare chest, wrapping his arms around you. “No. m’ comfy just like this” Bucky grinned up at you peppering kisses along your jaw. “It’s good, just odd. He’s usually trying to get me back as soon as possible, especially when Hydra is involved”.

***

As you both exited the jet, making your way back to the compound you wondered how the team would react to you and Bucky getting together. There wasn’t anyone that would oppose the relationship but you were not sure how to explain that you had already been together for a year. You spoke to Bucky the very same day Tony happily welcomed you to join the team.

Flash back 2 years ago

Tony looked for any reason to throw a party and after seeing you on the field, he figured it was a good enough reason to celebrate. Parties made you anxious so you quietly made your way to the bar where another figure sat. He was handsome; different from what you had seen plastered all over the world a few years ago. His long hair was cut short, the previous silver arm from Hydra replaced with dark gunmetal grey and gold vibrainium. He was dressed in a plain black t-shirt that stretched across his chest and arms along with his dark jeans that hugged his legs nicely. What should have been a quick glance was turning into staring as you struggled to tear your eyes off him.

Bucky sat, nursing a glass of whisky. He looked over to you, surprised that you had chosen to sit at the bar as well instead of getting your drink and leaving. You fumbled with your fingers, realizing that he had seen you. You didn’t want to make it obvious you were just silently staring at him, quickly thinking of something to say.

“Hi” You smiled, feeling the heat travel through your cheeks and down your neck. “I’m y/n”.

“Ah, so the welcome party is for you. I’m James; some of my friends call me Bucky though”.

“Well what do you prefer to be called?”

Your consideration for what he would prefer. It was so small. So simple. People always assumed he went by Bucky. But the fact that you bothered to ask which name he preferred brought up a new feeling he didn’t know existed. He felt his cheeks flush.

“You can call me Bucky, doll”.

Bucky found himself frequently bumping into you in the same places he’d go to have some quiet time to himself. Usually he wasn’t a fan when there was someone else present but he didn’t mind when it was you. You didn’t try to pry him with questions or invade his space. You also enjoyed sharing quiet time with Bucky. There was a mutual understanding between you both, filled with shy smiles and blushes.

Things took a turn one night when you woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of a crash. You heard thrashing coming from Bucky’s room and found your feet working faster than your mind. You knew he had nightmares but you were not sure he’d want anyone to see him when he was so vulnerable. The thought of him having to go through all those nights alone made your heart ache. Your heart raced as you stood in front of Bucky’s door; the thrashing stopped but you could now hear soft sobs coming from inside. You gently knocked on his door. “Bucky?” No answer. Again, your body was acting faster than your mind as you quietly opened the door and slipped into his room.

Bucky was on the floor, the sheets thrown off the bed. A picture of him in his army uniform from 1940 thrown across the room, glass shattered on the floor. He had his head buried between his knees, his fingers tugging at his hair as he tried to ground himself from another nightmare. You carefully made your way towards him, dropping to your knees in front of him. There was no second thinking as you pulled his hands away, wrapping your arms around him so you could cradle him to your chest. You placed a soft kiss on his hairline, gently rubbing his back in small circles and rocking him to calm him down.

“Shhh, its okay” You moved your hand to cup his cheek, making him look at you. “You’re safe Bucky”. Your thumbs wiped away the tears that kept spilling.

“So many of them” Bucky’s voice cracked as he spoke between sobs. “I killed so many of them and none of them deserved it. I’m a fucking monster”. He buried his face into your neck letting his tears fall onto your t-shirt as he continued to cry.

“That was never you Bucky” You felt your own eyes stinging with tears threatening to spill out. You held him tighter, your voice growing shaky as you continued to speak “No one gave you a choice then. Look at all the lives you saved when you were free to make choices again Buck”. You stood up, gently pulling Bucky to get up and lay on the bed instead. Bucky was exhausted; he feared the images that plagued his mind as soon as he let sleep take over. He looked up at you; his eyes filled with torment, the dark circles underneath showing it had been ages since he slept in peace.

“You don’t have to talk about anything. I can stay with you till you fall asleep. Come here, lay down”.

Bucky reluctantly got up, too tired to argue and tell you it wasn’t necessary because he didn’t want to bother you. He secretly hoped you would stay; you were the one person he knew he could be silently comfortable around. You sat up on his bed against the head board. As he put his head on the pillow, he felt your hands gently touch his hair. He started to feel his eyelids grow heavy. “Are you okay with me touching you? You can tell me if it makes you uncomfortable”. Bucky shook his head, leaning into your touch. He shifted over, moving so his head was now resting on your lap. You felt your heart flutter, gently running your fingers through his soft hair, the simple action lulling him to sleep.

Bucky’s sores filled the room as you continued to gently massage his head. Happy he had fallen asleep, you wondered if you should leave. He didn’t seem to mind you helping sleep again but you were not sure he’d be comfortable with you staying the whole night. You started to shift until you felt a tug at your wrist and saw Bucky looking up at you like a lost puppy. “Stay…please?” You could felt your heart melt, his soft eyes looking up at you hopefully. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable Bucky, are you sure?”

“I want you to stay”.

Present

You both entered the shared living room; Bucky gently squeezed your hand, knowing you were feeling nervous. You huffed a sigh of relief seeing it was empty, continuing down to the elevators making your way up to the floor you shared with Steve and Bucky. As soon as the elevator doors closed, Bucky pulled you close smashing his lips against yours, pressing you against the wall. Bucky’s mind had been racing ever since he asked you to move into his living space. He couldn’t wait to have you all to himself, to hold you when he slept and wake up to you. His hand gripped your waist as the other gripped the back of your neck, lightly pulling your hair. You smirked, enjoying the gentle burn with each tug, letting his tongue slip through, snaking your hands under his shirt clawing your nails down his back.

“God babydoll you have no idea what you do to me” Bucky groaned, breaking away from your lips momentarily for air. “Can’t wait to have you in my bed every single night, your gonna be bent over every surface while I rail you from behind. I’ll get to fuck you to sleep, keep you full with my cum all night and wake you up with my face between your legs”. You whimpered arousal soaking through your panties as Bucky kept whispering filth, sucking little bruises down your neck. He pushed your legs apart, his thigh pressing onto your aching core.

The ding of the elevator reaching your floor broke you both out of your lust filled trace. Bucky tapped the side of your thigh “Jump”. You wrapped your legs around him; Bucky wasted no time carrying you over to his room, ready to have his way with y-

“What are you guys doing in here?”

Bucky saw Tony, Steve and Sam squirreling around his room with measuring tape. The three whipped their heads around, eyes wide. Tony wasn’t bluffing when he suggested sound proofing the walls; he got Steve and Sam to help him measure the room before having anything installed. They caught a glance of Bucky carrying you before he had set you down beside him, pretending nothing happened.

“I own the compound Barnes, technically all the rooms are my rooms”

“Fine, but why are these two with you? And what were you measuring?”

“I was…” Tony panicked, deciding the change the subject. “Why were you carrying y/n?” Tony smirked wiggling his eyebrows, watching as you hid your face into Bucky’s arm. Bucky felt the blush warm his cheeks. He was excited for everyone to know but he didn’t wasn’t sure how to explain anything on the spot and the growing tightness in his pants wasn’t helping.

“Uh I wasn’t… she was tired from the mission and you didn’t answer my question”

“I FAINTED” Steve panicked, hoping his outburst out distract Bucky from the fact that they were in his room. He didn’t exactly think anything through. “You? fainted? In my room?” Bucky looked at Steve as if he suddenly grew a second head.

“Yeah Frozone, you fainted?” Tony glared at Steve, wondering how the hell this man managed to carry the shield for this long if this is how he responded to pressure. “Will you shut up” Sam grumbled to Steve under his breath.

“Yeah, sorry pal. Came looking for something, thought I might have left it in your room. Tony and Sam came to help. Turns out it wasn’t there” Steve’s face was the same shade of red as the day he saw you in Bucky’s motel room. He could think on his toes on missions but this was different, he didn’t know how to lie to his best friend.

“Then when did you faint-”

Tony and Sam mentally face palmed. Tony couldn’t decide which risk was worse: allowing Steve to continue with his train wreck of a lie or to just tell Bucky the truth. “Actually Cap we can take it from here, show Barnes the new surveillance equipment since he was away when we tested it”

Steve nodded; relieved he could change the subject as he walked a confused Bucky down the hall over to the room.

“Y’know, when you guys went offline for 12 hours, we were all worried about you both. The whole team sat for hours waiting to hear from you. Can’t tell you how relieved I was when I finally saw you were okay”

“You always worry,” Bucky smiled to himself, then frowning when he remembered something “how did you know y/n wasn’t in her room? And what do you mean saw, you just called me on the phone punk” “Uh……..yes. I meant heard. When I heard from you” Steve opened the door to the room the team was gathered in the day before, blood draining from his face when he saw the live feed hadn’t stopped even after you were both safe at the compound. Tony still hadn’t figured how to switch it off but managed to create an AI that controlled the entire building. Unbelievable. Tony and Sam made their way over to ensure Steve didn’t attempt to pull anything else out of America’s Ass. Bucky walked over to the screen frowning as he noticed the room it was showing looked familiar. “Wait. Isn’t this my motel room?”

“Huh. Would you look at that? So it is. Tony how did that happen?” Steve looked at Tony and Sam, eyeing the door, planning his escape.

“How long has this been streaming for?”

“uh………” Steve dashed out the room. Tony and Sam could figure this out on their own.

On the bottom of the screen read: live for 46h 15m 9s. You had only been at the Motel for about a day and a half….

“When did this start recording?” Sam looked at Bucky, then Tony then back to Bucky before running out the door to follow Steve.

“See, we didn’t hear from you for over 12 hours, so I did what any great leader would do and checked on you to make sure you were okay” “Huh” “Just a few cameras to have eyes on you in case something happened. You should be thanking me Barnes” Tony already started tip toeing backwards slowing making his way to the door before Bucky connected the dots.

“When did this start recording” “I can say with confidence, you have a nice ass Barnes!” Tony dashed out the room,

“STARK!!”

Thank you @buckies-dolle wouldn't have written anything without you <3

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wosoluver · 10 days

Text

To undo a mistake

Part 12/17 - previous - next

Lena x Bayern Player!reader

That night you had unexpectedly received a call.

"Hey, why are you calling me?"

"Hi, uhm my flight back home is just tomorrow. And I wanted to talk, can I come over?"

"We don't have much to talk about."

"That's not true. I still have a lot say..."

And you knew you shouldn't give in to her. At least not this easily. But you couldn't help yourself, despite your brain's excessive work to build new relationships, deep down inside the feelings you once had, still roamed in you.

"Okay."

"I'll be there in ten."

Eight minutes had barely gone by, when she ringed the doorbell.

"Come in." - As you opened the door and stepped aside for her to pass.

"Thanks." - She followed, as usual taking her shoes off and setting them by the door, without needing to think about it. It was automatic.

You went to pour yourself some wine, and poured her some too, in the process.

"It's the one you really like" - As you handed her the glass.

You two sat quietly on the couch waiting for the other to start the conversation.

"Lea said I should give you some space."

"And you ignored her I see."

"I should have told you I was planning on moving here."

"That would've been nice.

I just done get it. Why?"

"I promise I'm not doing this to get on your nerves. But we just didn't have the opportunity to talk about it during camp. I was trying to respect the limits you imposed.

My work in Wolfsburg, didn't make sense anymore. I need to step up my career. To be in a team where I can actually compete with."

"I'm not judging you for that, I'm judging you for your awful skills at being a good friend."

"I'm not a bad friend. I'm just trying to figure out how to navigate this friendship without hurting you anymore than I already did."

By now you were already pouring you two another glass.

"I would have left Bayern for you. I almost did."

You watched the guilty expression on her face.

"I wouldn't forgive myself if you did."

"It just seems like we can never meet each other half way."

"I know I'm to blame for a lot of it." - by now she had tears threatening to roll down her face.

"I've forgiven you. But it's sounds like you need to forgive yourself."

You tried your best to wipe away her tears as you took a hold of her face.

"You aren't perfect, and you never will be. If your waiting on that to allow yourself to live, your going to suffer forever." - She only nodded to herself, looking into your eyes. - "Its not about what you did. We've talked about that. It's about what you do from now on. It's about you choosing a better way. This isn't over."

And maybe she read the signs wrong. But when she kissed you, you didn't pull away. Maybe it was the wine. Maybe it was the fact you missed her terribly.

But then she decided to pull away. Much to your despair.

"I'm sorry, I just let my feelings take control."

"It's fine, it's not like I didn't kiss you back."

"I think I really should get going."

"Yeah, sure."

Walking her to the door, you gave each other an awkward hug. Not knowing how to act.

"Bye, Y/N."

"I'll see you soon. Goodnight schatz."

You mentally punched yourself after letting that one out.

"I meant Lena, goodnight Lena."

#woso x reader #lena oberdorf #lena oberdorf x reader #dfb frauen #fc bayern frauen #vfl wolfsburg frauen

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drvirgus · 11 days

Text

Protecting (my heart)

Idol! Minji X bodyguard! Reader

Description: getting a new job as NewJeans bodyguard isn't really something Y/n thought would happen to her. What exactly happens when she suddenly felt attracted to one of the NewJeans members? Can Y/n stay professional or are her feelings for Minji too much to handle?

Warnings: stalking; harassment; kys jokes; suggestive language; death threats; mention of abuse; mention of murder; Smut, g!p Reader

Chapter: just a movie? (Fully written)

Masterlist

———————————————————————————

With a nervous smile on my face, I looked at the slightly taller woman. Her hair seemed still slightly damp and combed back. She was wearing short, loose shorts and a slightly oversized t-shirt. With a smile on her face, she opened the door wider and gestured for me to come in.

Swallowing nervously, I quickly took off my shoes and placed them neatly to the side. "I'll make some popcorn. Feel free to sit on the couch. You know your way around here," Yeji said, chuckling slightly as she disappeared into the kitchen.

Nervously, I bit my lip and simply nodded, making my way to the living room. Almost immediately, I grabbed the remote control of the smart TV and found the movie.

It felt like back then...

I patiently waited for the older woman who was preparing the popcorn. My eyes wandered around the living room. "Where are the others?" I asked after a short pause.

"We're alone," Yeji called out to me loud enough. My eyes widened slightly, and the nervousness rose within me as I bit my lip and nodded. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves, rubbing my slightly sweaty hands on my pants.

Yeji entered the living room with a large bowl of popcorn. She sat down next to me and briefly glanced at the TV before smiling at me. The bowl rested on her thigh as she popped a piece of popcorn into her mouth.

"So... I'll start the movie," I said, clearing my throat as I leaned forward and picked up the remote control from the coffee table, pressing play. I could hear Yeji sighing as she noticed my posture. "Relax, y/n," she said as she playfully nudged me.

I chuckled and relaxed a bit, throwing my jacket over the arm of the chair just like before. I was wearing just jeans and a sweater since it was still a bit chilly outside.

Minutes passed, and I simply watched the movie. I reached into the bowl for a piece of popcorn repeatedly. Yeji and I sat quite close, so we could both reach into the bowl.

Chaewon had worried unnecessarily... everything was going fine. We both just watched the movie and didn't really talk to each other.

My body twitched as I felt her hand against mine when we both reached into the bowl at the same time. My eyes widened as I turned my head to her. She was already looking at me, smiling gently. Her eyes never left mine.

"That reminds me of our first date," the older woman began. Her eyes remained fixed on mine without a single second of wavering. "How we watched the movie and were too nervous to talk to each other or even look at each other," Yeji said, laughing lightly. Her eyes squinted a bit as she laughed.

I nodded, licking my lips. "Honestly, I don't even remember the movie we watched," I replied, laughing lightly, which Yeji nodded in agreement with. "Neither do I," she replied with a smile.

Her hand found its way to my knee, moving a bit higher. Her eyes narrowed slightly as she parted her lips slightly. Of course, I knew what this meant. I knew her inside and out...

I swallowed my nervousness. "I think... we shouldn't," I said softly, but I didn't pull away. The only thing I heard was Yeji humming in agreement, and shortly after, her lips were on mine.

It didn't take long for the older woman to be on my lap. Her lips on mine as her arms wrapped around my neck. My hands immediately on her hips to pull her closer to me.

My eyes closed as I simply missed the lips of my ex-girlfriend. Her breath against my skin, her warm hands on my neck, how she ran her long fingers through my hair. I cherished every single second of it.

My mouth parted as her lips made their way to my neck, and she let her tongue, which I knew all too well, slide out of her mouth and trace a sweet, moist line along my pulse before closing her lips around it and gently sucking.

I bit my lip as my hands instinctively lifted her t-shirt slightly. My fingers now on her lower back as I traced gentle lines to her hips.

I could feel Yeji moving her hips slightly forward and backward. This only made it harder for me to control myself, as I could feel my body heating up and all my blood rushing to my friend downstairs, awakening him.

Yeji's hands in my hair pulled my head back a bit, giving her more access to my neck. My heartbeat automatically sped up as I felt the older woman remove her hands from my hair, and one of her hands landed between our bodies. Right where I definitely didn't want her tonight.

But who could resist her? Certainly not me...

A whimper escaped my lips as I felt her hand now resting on my bulge, and she immediately started pumping my little friend. My eyes finally opened to look into hers.

"Yeji," I whispered softly, but Yeji immediately shook her head and pressed her lips to mine. She didn't want to hear it. All the desperation, longing, and desire were in this kiss, which made me weak.

With a jerk, I lifted her shirt high enough to take it off. She raised her arms briefly to make it easier for me. Her hands now on my neck as her kisses became much wilder and wetter. I responded to the desire with open arms.

"Let's go to the bedroom," I said between kisses. Yeji broke the kiss and looked at me with wide eyes, her chest rising and falling as she tried to control her breath.

Together, we made our way to her bedroom, and it didn't take long before I felt her lips on mine again. My hand turned the key in the lock to secure the room.

I could feel the older woman pulling my sweater over my head and carelessly tossing it onto the floor. Piece by piece, more clothing ended up on the floor as we found ourselves on her bed.

My lips trailed down her neck to her décolletage. "Y/n," Yeji moaned as my lips closed around one of her nipples. My tongue made a few circles around the nipple before I started sucking, teasing it with my tongue.

My hand on her thigh slowly moved up to her calf and lifted it slightly. My eyebrow twitched as I felt the smooth skin under my hand.

She had shaved...

My hand moved from her calf back up to her thigh as my lips found their way back to her neck. I could feel the older woman underneath me, struggling to control herself from pouncing on me immediately.

Not like before...

My eyes widened as Yeji pushed me slightly away with a hand on my forehead. She wriggled to the side to open one of the drawers in her nightstand. My eyes narrowed knowingly.

I could hear the condom packet being torn open. As usual, I sat back on my knees and watched the older woman as she wrapped the condom around my member. Her eyes, full of lust and desire, locked onto mine. One of her legs lifted again, and as if it were second nature, she sat on me once more.

A moan escaped me as I felt the warm, wet walls tightly wrap around my member. My arms around her hips to keep her on my pelvis, as I still sat on my knees. It didn't take long before I started moving my hips.

Her hands around my neck as I felt my fingers tighten around her hips and my hips clashing against hers in slow but powerful thrusts. This position was really getting on my nerves, so I laid the older woman on her back once again, allowing me to move my hips faster.

Her voice escaped from her slightly parted lips, her fingernails digging into my shoulder, making me hiss, but I didn't stop. My eyes locked onto hers as I placed my hands on her legs once again, lifting both of them.

Yeji's eyes widened as she noticed me placing her legs over my shoulders. Her moans grew louder, and her hands now clawed at my wrists as I held her hips in place.

The older woman had no chance to move as I did all the work. With each thrust I made, it left a bitter taste in my mouth.

She had left me...

I loved her so much...

My eyes focused on the face of my ex-girlfriend beneath me as I pressed my hips against hers repeatedly. My movements were fast and smooth, occasionally punctuated by a few powerful thrusts.

Her moans, whimpers, or gasps filled the entire room. I also let out some sounds of exertion and satisfaction.

I swallowed in shock as Yeji somehow managed to flip us over again, and once again, the older woman was on top of me. My mouth slightly agape as I looked up at my beautiful ex-girlfriend.

"Don't get too cocky," Yeji said with a slight grin as she first rotated her hips in circular motions before lifting them up and letting them fall again. Sweat was already visible on our bodies.

"Fuck," I muttered through gritted teeth as one of my hands rested on her chest and the other on her hip. The sound of moans echoed through the entire apartment.

Fortunately, we were alone...

I heard Yeji throw her head back. Her hair thrown back, she leaned forward. She pushed her long hair to one side so it wouldn't interfere with our kisses.

Both hands were on her hips as I moved my hips against hers. At a quick pace, I could feel Yeji starting to twitch on top of me. Her legs began to tremble, and she withdrew her tongue from my mouth to let out a loud moan.

My orgasm was also getting closer. My hips became much more forceful and uncontrollable. My hips were simply seeking the relief that I apparently couldn't find.

With a jerk, I flipped us over once again. My hips fast. My hands on her knees as i squeezed them together. Yeji's loud moans echoed through the entire room as she reached her orgasm.

But I still held mine back. My jaw clenched as I continued to thrust my hips against hers repeatedly. Until the moment when I could no longer hold it back. Some moans escaped my mouth as I pulled out of her and rubbed my member with my own hand.

My body jerked as I felt myself shooting the white creamy substance into the condom. My mouth open as I continued to twitch and shoot more into the condom.

Breathing heavily, I lay beside my ex-girlfriend, after removing the condom and tying a knot in it. My chest rose and fell like crazy as I came down from the high of the orgasm.

———————————————————————————

A/n: don’t come at me 😖 it’s been a very long time since I wrote some smut and it feels like I forgot how to write it 🫠🫠

#newjeans minji #newjeans hanni #hanni pham #newjeans #danielle #haerin #newjeans hyein #minji x reader #kim minji #newjeans x reader #newjeans smau

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somanyratsinthewalls · 2 months

Text

Burning Hearts Chapter 10

Pairing: Law x Straw Hat Zoan Type (named) OC

Summary: *WE ARE STILL SLOWLY BURNING* You were teleported across the globe in an instant, away from your crew. Your body was badly broken and beaten, thrust into the harsh landscape of a Northern island. You are discovered by the Heart Pirates and brought back to health. Startled upon waking up in a foreign place with an unfamiliar crew, you are shocked with the news that you’ll be spending two years there. Trafalgar Law, the captain of the Heart Pirates has made a promise to train you, but will it become something more than a mentor relationship?

WC: 2600

Taglist: @cottoncandyloverrrr @zoros-fourth-sword @nothing-but-brass

Burning Hearts Chapter 10: She’s a Lady

— —

After a night of fitful sleep, you woke up to your alarm mildly hungover with a dull headache. You groan as you slam the alarm off and sit up in bed. You sit there with the blankets bunched around your legs and your mind returns to last night. That fervent kiss in the hallway outside your room. Law had apologized and ran away, leaving you confused and alone.

You had to say something. There was no way you’d let another year and change go by ignoring what had happened between the two of you… the tension would absolutely eat you alive.

You’d have to see him today, regardless of how awkward the encounter may be. He promised he would let you accompany him on the supply run, and you’d be damned if he went back on his word because of some drunken slip up. You needed to get off this damn island if it killed you, you were totally going stir crazy. You were already talking to polar bears, it’s only a matter of time before you start talking to the walls.

You hop out of bed and throw on one of your red jumpsuits. You sit on the floor in front of the mirror in your bedroom and plait your hair into two long French braids, accessorizing them with a few yellow summer flowers. Once you were finished, you throw on your boots and head out the door.

You maneuvered your way through the base and exited the front door, eyeing the Polar Tang docked in the distance. You approached the big yellow submarine and admired its impressive craftsmanship. You had never been on the Heart Pirate’s ship before, Law never allowed you to come with him when he headed out until now.

Upon reaching the ship, you see the gangplank is already up. You must be the last to arrive, so with a quick flutter of your wings you dropped onto the deck and entered the steel door. The ship was much like the base, cool metal from floor to ceiling. The hallway was lined with doors, assumedly bunk rooms or storage. There was a wide door at the end of the hall, different from the others. This must be the main cabin. You stride towards the door and push it open.

The room inside was lined with monitors and odd machines with knobs and buttons, nothing you’d have any idea what to do with. The main wall of the ship was a large window so that who ever was navigating could see forward. Law was facing away from you and manning the helm of the ship and Bepo was fussing with some of the ship’s instruments.

“Oh hi Miss Daisy! Now that you’re here we can head out. Are you ready?” Bepo smiles and waves a large paw at you.

“Yes, I’m ready.” You smile a bit. “Bepo, could you excuse us for a few minutes? I need to talk to your captain.”

Bepo hesitates and looks at the back of Law’s head.

“W-well we really should…” Bepo stutters, unsure of what to do.

“It’s fine, Bepo. Give us the room.” Law speaks without turning around.

“Yes, Captain. As you wish.”

Bepo exits the control room and shuts the door behind him.

Law still doesn’t turn to face you, hands on the wheel of the ship, gripping it tightly. There was a long silence.

“So we just aren’t going to talk about last-“ You start.

“No.”

Another pause. Law continues.

“I apologized. I don’t know what else you want to hear.” He states coldly.

You scoff.

“So that’s it? You kiss me and want me to pretend it never happened-?” You start to raise your voice.

“That’s EXACTLY what is going to happen!” Law yells and whips his body around to face you finally. “It was unprofessional. It was an accident. I was not myself in that moment. I’d very much like to move on.”

“You’re lying! I know you’re lying!” You step towards him.

“Yeah? Lying about what?” Law was getting incredibly frustrated and red faced.

“The kiss! I don’t think that was an accident, Law.” You point at him accusingly while you spit venom at him.

“And how would you know?” He seethes.

You ball your fists.

“I’ve been kissed by a lot of assholes who didn’t mean it, who didn’t care at all, and that’s not what that was. That was something and you’re hiding from me. You’re my mentor and we’re supposed to be honest with each other.”

There was another silence and Law stared at the floor before speaking.

“You’re mistaken. I’m done talking about this.” Law turns back towards the helm of the ship and away from your glare.

“You know what? Fine. Be like that, then. Keep everything all bottled up, all packed away so that no one can ever see who you really are. You think closing yourself off will keep anyone from ever getting hurt again but you’re wrong. You’re hurting yourself by being like this. You can’t protect your friends if you can’t even be honest with yourself.”

You see Law grip the wheel even tighter. He doesn’t respond.

“If you come to your senses, Trafalgar Law, I’ll have you know that although I may be a pirate, I am first and foremost a lady.”

“What are you talking about?” Law turns his head and furrows his brow.

“I am a lady and I should be properly courted like one. I will accept nothing less.” You square your shoulders and take a deep breath. “I’ll see you when we arrive at the island, then.” You turn and leave a stunned Law alone in the main cabin. You run into Bepo waiting patiently in the hallway.

“You guys finished in there? Is everything okay, I heard yelling-“ Bepo asked.

“All set. Let’s shove off.” You brush past the bear and find someplace to sit and relax for the trip.

— —

It was a quick voyage under the sea before Law docks the ship at a port on some sleepy little inhabited island. You and the rest of the crew clamber out of the sub and walk down the wooden docks with Law at the head of your party. Once clearing the docks, bustling with fishermen and ship repairmen trying to make a sale, you all follow Law towards the village.

The appearance of the Heart Pirates only garnered a few whispers from the locals as you all made your way into town. It seemed as though this was a town that was accustomed to the presence of the powerful pirate (now warlord) and his crew.

“You guys come here often?” You say softly to Penguin as you stroll through the cobblestone streets.

“Yeah kinda, it’s busy enough to have what we need but quiet enough to not make a fuss. Not like we have to worry anymore anyway… well everyone except you, haha!” Penguin laughs.

“Sooooo funny… real funny guy you are… I’ll take my 60 million berries and shove them right up your ass.” You quip as you dig your thumb between his shoulders.

“Owww! Captain!”

“Will you guys stop making a scene? I said low profile.”

You stick your tongue out at Penguin.

You pass by a toy store with children and their parents running in and out of the door. The shop had baskets of plushies outside to draw in prospective buyers. You smile at a group of kids and look down into one of the baskets.

“Oh my goodness!” You reach down and grab one of the stuffed animals from the bin. It was a fluffy, chubby little reindeer plush. You hold it up in front of your face and smile.

“It looks like my friend!” You grin and shout towards the group who was already passing you up.

“You should get it, it’s very cute!” Bepo smiles at you.

Your grin fades.

“No… I shouldn’t spend my money on silly things like that anymore…” You gingerly set the plush down and pat it on the head before jogging to catch up to the party.

You walk a little further up the road.

“Oooh can we stop at that one place and get the beef noodles? Those are my favorite!” Shachi chimes in.

“We’re here to get supplies, not take a vacation.” The Captain replies.

Law was met with groans from all 3 of his crew members as they followed him to the shopping district.

A few more silent moments go by before a savory, rich scent filled your nose. It wrapped around you like a warm hug and stopped you in your tracks. You turn to your right and peer into the restaurants windows. You press your face and hands up to the glass and look at the tables full of happy patrons, tables littered with delicious looking food.

“Woah those noodles do look good…” You say more to yourself than anyone else.

“See, Cap! Pleeeease! We’re starving, we didn’t have breakfast because Daisy was hungover!”

“What, if I don’t feed you, you’ll starve?” You snap your head in Shachi’s direction.

“I’m not allowed to use the stove anymore, you know that!” Shachi shoots back.

“FINE. Go sit down. I’ll get most of the supplies now and run them back to the ship. You guys can pick up the food from the market on your way back. I’ll be waiting.”

“Yay!” Shachi cries out as he rushes you, Bepo, and Penguin into the restaurant to get a table.

— —

The four of you slurp down your bowls of noodles greedily and order more drinks to wash them down with.

“Soooooo how was last night?” You ask with beef stuffed into your cheeks as you nod to Penguin.

*cough cough* “What do you mean?” Penguin chokes on a noodle briefly.

“Last night… like when you walked our friend back to her room? Ringing any bells?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Nothing happened, I went to bed like 30 minutes later and he was already in bed passed out! Clothes on! Alone!” Shachi chimes in.

“You don’t know that!”

“Unless there was an OTPHJ situation, I’m pretty sure you struck out again bud.” Shachi shoves another pile of noodles into his maw.

“OTPHJ?” Bepo raises an eyebrow.

“Over-the-pants-hand-job.” You wipe your mouth with a napkin and clarify.

“Oh… gross…” Bepo hangs his head.

“Yeah, it is gross.” You grimace. “Don’t listen to him, Peng. Slow and steady wins the race, and I think you’re winning her over. Don’t rush it. You can steal flowers from my garden any time.” You wink as you take a huge gulp of beer. You look at your watch. “Shit we gotta go or Captain Buzzkill is going to hang us all.” Bepo nods and places a stack of cash from his orange jumpsuit pocket on the table.

— —

“Of course he sticks us with the heaviest shit… knowing damn well he could probably room-shambles-whatever all of this back to the ship anyway…” You huff out as you readjust the massive bag of food supplies you had slung over your back.

“Here, let me help, tiny human.” Bepo swings the bag from your back over his shoulder easily.

“Thanks, Bepo.” You smile and rub your neck.

“Please forgive me if I’m intruding, Miss Daisy… but what exactly happened between you and my captain earlier? He seemed distressed during the entire journey…” The large bear looks down at you as you walk. You turn your head and see that Penguin and Shachi were falling far behind, bickering about something.

“I um… I tried to talk to him about something and it… it didn’t really go that well… as I’m sure you heard?” You phrase the last part as a question, trying to feel out exactly how much of the argument Bepo had heard from the other side of the door.

“I assure you I wasn’t eavesdropping, Miss Daisy… I just heard you both yelling and he was just so… distraught… afterwards, I couldn’t help but worry.”

“I’m sorry I caused you to worry.” You look down and continue walking towards the ship.

“I worry about him a lot, you know.” Bepo continues. “He can be… prickly… but he’s a good man. He can act brash when he’s feeling conflicted, and I can certainly tell you bring out that feeling in him.”

“You’re the second person to tell me that. Am I supposed to be getting a hint here? Everyone keeps talking to me in circles.” You furrow your brow in annoyance.

“He’s my best friend, Miss Daisy. Give him time. Slow and steady wins the race, remember?” Bepo smiles.

“Okay but it’s not like that… you know that right?” You cock your head.

“Right.”

— —

It was late in the evening when your party returned to the safe house. The 5 of you hauled the bags filled to the brim with supplies into the galley and started unloading the perishables into the fridge and freezers.

“I have work to do. I’ll see you in the morning.” Law slinks out of the kitchen and down the hall to his office.

“Does he ever sleep?” You roll your eyes.

“Nope.” The three boys said in unison.

“Well, he might not, but I’m sure as hell going to. I’m wiped.” You finish putting bags of rice into the pantry.

“Need to get your sea legs back, huh D?” Shachi chides.

“Whatever, goodnight nerds.” You playfully flip them off and head to your room. With each step your legs felt heavier and heavier… the pure exhaustion settling into your bones. You push into your door with your whole body and flop your bag down onto the floor.

You begin to unzip your jumpsuit when you notice something on your bed that wasn’t there when you left.

Laid neatly up against the pillows and tucked cutely under the blankets of your now made bed was that fuzzy reindeer plushie you had seen earlier in town.

“Now what the hell…” You rush over to your bed and scoop the stuffed animal up in your arms. It was a little smaller than your friend, Chopper, but it reminded you of his cuteness nonetheless. How did this get here? You clearly remember setting it back down in the bin and going to eat at the restaurant. Bepo was the one who encouraged you to buy it, but you had been with him the entire time while you were on the island…

Someone must have gone back, bought it, and placed it in your bed before you could reach your bedroom…

You look into the plush’s black glossy eyes and smile. You strip off your jumpsuit and crawl into bed, cuddling the stuffed reindeer in your arms as you fall asleep.

——

*Author's Note* Tumblr got rid of yellow as a text color? Or am I dumb? Did I ever have yellow? Am I losing my mind?

Also thanks for waiting a week :) I've been mad busy. Should have Chapter 11 out this weekend! Love yall.

#one piece #one piece anime #one piece fanfiction #one piece fanart #one piece live action #one piece netflix #one piece fandom #law x reader #trafalgar d law #trafalgar op #trafalgar law #trafalgardwaterlaw #trafalgar one piece #trafalgar d law x reader #law x y/n #law one piece #trafalgar d water law

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whumpshaped · 5 months

Note

Whumpee going into a toy shop and being turned into a doll by the sinister proprietor!

-- @oliversrarebooks

tw doll whump, magic whump, kidnapping, captivity, multiple whumpees, noncon drugging, dehumanisation, lady whump

“Your dolls are beautiful,” Whumpee said in complete awe, trying to take in the entirety of the shop at once. “They’re so… realistic. They’re gorgeous.”

The shopkeeper smiled and stood up from their chair, placing their current sewing project on the desk before circling around to stand beside Whumpee. “Thank you. I can give you a little tour, if you like. Or you can just point at any doll and ask whatever you wish to know about them.”

Whumpee’s face lit up. “Oh, I have so many questions. Are you sure it’s okay? I’m pretty sure I don’t have the funds to buy such fine art…”

“It’s a slow day,” they said pleasantly. “Every day is slow when you sell dolls, honestly. Especially ones like these. People are either scared to approach them, or don’t even want to come in if they can’t purchase anything. I rarely get to ramble.”

“It’s a crime, really. There must be so much to say about them.” Whumpee walked over to one close to their own size, staring into its brutally realistic eyes. It felt like they had life behind them. “How did you come up with the idea?”

“I’ve always liked dolls. It was only natural that eventually, I would figure out a way to make them. And here I am.”

“How long does it take to make a doll like this?”

“Oh, months, dearest.”

Whumpee nodded, not surprised in the least. The doll was a real work of art — all of them were. “And you make them all on your own?”

“For the most part, yes. But the dolls themselves do the heavy-lifting. They have so much personality… All I have to do is accentuate it.”

Whumpee looked at the tag that had been adorably tied to the doll’s hairband, reading the name and the price off of it. They could never even dream of purchasing something like this. “Belladonna…”

“I just call her Bella,” the shopkeeper said with the sort of fondness in their voice that made Whumpee feel like the doll had been created a long time ago, sitting in the store without any potential buyers for a while now. “I made her five years ago, I believe. One of my first dolls.”

“Five years… It looks– well, new. I would’ve never guessed.”

“Yes, dear Bella holds up very well under my care.” They stepped up to the doll and ran their fingers through its long, silky hair affectionately, fixing some frizz in the process. “Patiently awaiting her knight in shining armour. Isn’t that right, sweet?”

The doll was so realistic, Whumpee half-expected it to respond; it didn’t, of course. That might’ve put Whumpee off doll-shopping too. “I’m sure the knight is on their way,” they said warmly.

“Good afternoon!” Whumpee said with a wide grin as they walked into the shop, breathing in the scent of flowers and beeswax.

“Good afternoon.” Whumper had the usual serene smile on their face, and a half-finished garment in their hands.

“Has there been a purchase?” they asked, looking around. “It feels so empty for some reason. Someone’s missing.”

“Oleander, but she’s merely in the backroom.”

Over the past few weeks, Whumpee had gotten used to all the dolls being named after flowers and plants; poisonous ones at that. When asked, Whumper simply said they liked the ring of them, and well, they were their dolls, after all. They could name them whatever they wanted.

“How come?” They walked up to the desk and started poking around in the bowl of decorative candy, picking out their favourite flavour and popping it into their mouth. “Did something happen?”

“Her hair wasn’t doing very well in this humid weather. She needed a more controlled environment.”

Whumpee nodded, eyes glued to the fabric in Whumper’s lap. “That’s a very pretty purple. Very… royal, I guess. Noble.”

The shopkeeper glanced up at them, noting the candy in their mouth with a soft smile. “Yes, we could say that. It feels expensive, too.” They chuckled. “And it was. But only the best for my dolls.”

“Can I touch it?”

“Be my guest.”

Whumpee walked around the desk and gently ran the back of their hand over the fabric, humming in agreement. “It does feel very luxurious. Is it for a new doll?”

“It is, actually. I have been working on the doll themself for a few weeks now, and I think they’ll turn out to be quite spectacular. I wanted a dress to match that.”

“Do you have a name in mind, yet?”

“Lantana, I think. Tana. Or maybe Hydrangea,” they mused. “Angie.”

“Tough choice.” Whumpee wandered out into the open area again, checking on the dolls one by one. They had almost become friends in this short time. “I think I like Lantana better, personally. It sounds softer.”

“Oh, I could never,” Whumpee said quietly, voice filled with adoration and want. The dress had turned out absolutely breathtaking, and Whumper wanted them to try it on? The offer was beyond tempting, but what if they ruined it? What if they tore it by accident? It was made for a doll, there was no way they would fit into it.

Though they had become quite frail recently. They were pretty sure they’d become sick with something, but the doctors could never tell them anything. Whumper was the only person willing to take them seriously, always offering healing herbal teas and candies from their own personal stash. A kindness Whumpee didn’t feel like they deserved.

Whumper gave them a reassuring smile. “I would love to see it on you. Please.”

Whumpee had no idea why they nodded so easily. Why they just went along with whatever Whumper wanted by this point. Why their wants always seemed to align so perfectly. “O-okay.”

“It’s going to be alright.”

The dress was dazzling: hours and hours of work, all by hand, frill and lace and flowers adorning every inch of it — and they were about to try it on.

They were playing with the piece of candy in their mouth, nervously pushing it from one side to the other with their tongue. It didn’t help with the fuzzy feeling in their head, but at least it seemed to soothe their worries, just like the teas and the scented candles around the shop.

Whumper gently helped them get dressed in the backroom, and despite all of Whumpee’s worries about the size, the dress fit them perfectly. It was as if it had been made specifically for them.

“Wow,” they breathed, barely believing the mirror in front of them. “I look…”

“Beautiful,” Whumper whispered, their expression full of fondness and warmth.

“Like a doll,” Whumpee added with a small smile. The flowery scent was so strong in this room, it almost made them want to close their eyes and drift off. “Though… I think I should take it off. I feel a little dizzy. I can’t imagine what it’d do to the dress if I were to fall.”

“Of course.” Whumper carefully helped them out of it, skilled fingers quickly untying the bows that held it all in place. “You can sit down behind the desk outside.”

Whumper turned the key in the lock, opening their shop for the day. They hung their coat and turned the lights on, illuminating the faces of all their precious dolls, sitting and standing in all different positions, just as they’d left them the day before.

“Beautiful weather today,” they said casually. “People will be out walking, for sure. Hopefully, some of them decide to visit.”

They checked on the dolls one by one, gently fixing their dresses and brushing their hair. They were humming as they worked, filling the air with magic soft as silk, wrapping around their beloveds’ minds like a comforting blanket. It was impossible to escape; the sedative scent of the candles, the taste of candy infused with traces of poisonous plants, the alluring tune of their song.

All of them had been caught as soon as they entered the shop and expressed interest. It was only a matter of time before their inevitable demise.

Once the soul left their bodies, it was easy to trap the delicate thing and tuck it away into a little jar, just until Whumper was ready to put it right back in its place. Making sure the fragile human body was prepared to withstand an eternity in the condition they’d received it in was a finicky process, but one Whumper found greatly satisfying.

They walked into the backroom to check the state of their newest acquisition, noting with a pleased smile that the body was finally ready. They took the glass bottle with Whumpee’s matching soul in it, uncorking it and raising it to their doll’s lips to allow it slip back inside.

Whumpee’s glassy eyes were suddenly filled with life, confusion and fear taking the place of the blank, corpse-like stare. Only for a moment, though. Only until Whumper ran their fingers through their hair, gently shushing them.

“The dress really does look gorgeous on you,” they cooed. “I can’t wait to put you on display, so everyone else can admire you too.”

The soft chime of the bell above the door signalled the new customer’s arrival, and Whumper greeted them with a smile. They seemed entirely mesmerised by the doll collection, asking all manner of questions after Whumper assured them it was fine to do so.

The stranger spent a few moments looking at the tag that had been adorably tied to one of the dolls’ hairbands, reading the name out loud. “Lantana…”

“I just call them Tana,” they said fondly. “They’re the latest addition to the family.”

#asks #oliversrarebooks #whump #whump drabble #doll whump #magic whump #kidnapping #captivity #multiple whumpees #noncon drugging #dehumanisation #lady whump

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