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thegraveyardjohnsongrey · 1 year

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May 2021

May: Convos of the Day

“You gotta be your own Scooter Braun”

This month I learned that I need to be my own manager. Not only do I need to be the dreamer and the planner, but I also have to be the person who gets things done - for me. I need to put myself into advantageous places, and sometimes that means sticking my neck out and putting myself out there.

Yea it’s awkward. Yes it’s stressful. Yes it’s annoying. And yes it’s uncomfortable.

But I need to take those chances. Because even one opportunity sown from a hundred tries- is worth those hundred tries.

To @Manager me, be kind to us. Be fair. And be accountable for us. Understand that you are the part of us that goes beyond our fear and gets it done. Have a healthy relationship with how we do things, and push us enough to challenge us, not go against us. Do everything in love and in good faith.

+ Started Mile-a-day challenge + APABA video & positive feedback

+ Started Jupiter’s Legacy

+ Caden’s 1st Haircut!!!!

+ RKT broken up :/

+ Dan Lalican x Angelica’s Wedding!

+ Saturday Hangout at AC & Q’s house!

+ Memorial Day Sunday at the Calotes’

Major Projects:

Securing LORs

LSAT practice

Early stages of Applications

New life goals:

Healthier technique & sound when I sing

Loving to sweat and to see being active as a friend and something that feeds me back

Less IG/social media to avoid triggers of comparison

Self-care Goals:

More moisturized hair?

gluing down sides?

Spray to make it black?

Songs:

My Head & My Heart

SOUR ALBUM!!!!

Good 4 U x Misery Business

Fast (Motion)

Build-A-Btch

5.1.21

+ Adding “bigger” eyebrows to my face really adds a drama to my face that helps me having more striking features. I effs with it + I’m so proud of myself.

Bc before today I had nothing, and after today I have, like — not *everything but A LOT

and definitely enough to finish by Monday if I really wanted

Wow.

I love work

LOL

Not really - but I LOVE seeing ideas working out perfectly and everything coming to life !!!! ITS EXHILARATING AND SO SATISFYING + Square Game w CAM (and readings hashtag #BlackMagic)

I feel like so many people achieved their professional goals this year. Their “happy endings” that I’m trying to find. But am I lokong for a moment? A day? Where I feel achievement? Is this me trying to show gratitude to my parents?

Carmelle, Cori, Kendall, Dana, Nina (maybe like the latter two, I’m allowed to be proud of where I am and what I’ve accomplished - even if it’s not the complete image I had in my head of where I’d be- or if it’s not to the standard of everyone else)

5.2.21

1.) How you feel matters.

I used to think that

2.) Sometimes Friends hype up plans and don’t follow through.

It’s a sucky thing but it happens. Things come up, and sometimes plans change. It’s safest to not take those excited comments to heart. Lol

Robert -

That I know what it means to help build a community and that I know what to do with the resources I have and how to use that for others.

That I know how to think under pressure and to (mediate) difficult situations

Personal Statement Questions I want to answer

Who I am

How that inspires me be a lawyer

How _____ School will help me do exactly that

Make your arguments air tight!

Convincing myself that I’m not suffering when I am.

“Where in that do you hear about you giving that to God”

+ Surge of excitement/happy-prideful ness chemicals from IG and all the likes and comments coming from it (“is this like.. what it’s like to be famous?” LMAO)

+ Reward: Enjoying my social media and my AAPI Heritage posts after FINISHING THE SLIDESHOW VIDEO FOR APABA !! WOO (praise god I met that deadline and didn’t even realize!) - pats on own back for working hard, wormy smart, and EXECUTING the damn thing. BOBA WITH THE SISTERS TOMORROW TO CELEBRATE !!

5.3.21

+ Caden’s fly swatting

Importance of

feeling a wave of positive change and uplifting ness

Knowing how to work hard and smart- KNOWING when to take a break and to back in my work In bite-size increments

Allowing myself to get lost in my passion - and allowing myself to be PROUD of my work rather than defeated by it

Having pride in what you put forth

+ Serving face in the mirror when I was lying on on my bed. I may have gained a lot of my pre-pandemic weight back, but QORL I’m STILL saving face?????? Looks like that year really helped my develop more permanent angles huh (and pride for my flat nose and almond eyes!!!!)

5.6.21

Kuddos email from Alicia about presentation

Second email while at Gym - Things are possible

Feelings of lightness, like I’m where I need to be; sitting liking outside from an empty gym (Mirror - Porter)

Loving the shape of my nose today (it’s not like huge and irritated? It’s slim? And I’m like ??... never sure how that happens? But I wanna know how I get it like that. For future reference!

Feeling the pump from weights today was nice!! LATE 2020 BODY HERE I COME

also do carrots make you more orange in tint? Idk but I like the color of my skin rn- it’s so vibrant and brown and caramel-Y. And smooth! How I do that!!! Water intake?

5.7.21 Wanting to make good on wave of positive feedback and ask for letter of recommendation **Realization: You have to be your own publicist, manager, agent, therapist, fan. LOL. You literally have to pout yourself in the most advantageous positions, and that means being your own Scooter braun sometimes.

Mornings are for LSAT, Afternoons are for Family/Errands, Evenings for ME

I am very proud of you for cleaning so much and getting everything you wanted to get done today done. You studied, cleaned hella, cooked for yourself, ate a healthy meal, scheduled a chat with Zarra, cleaned your car, purged receipts- etc. I am so so so so offing proud of you. I see you. You are doing amazing

Epiphany: It doesn’t need to workout in the way I wanted; it just needs to work out

5.10.21

AL mad pissing me off

I’m always so frustrated when it comes to her, because mom and dad never taught us to A.) be boastful nor b.) Competitive with each other. But hey, I guess that’s what happens when you’re the middle and have to find a way to “shine”. It’s comforting to know that any of what I say has weight and that I’m not the only one who sees it. Praying for her unresolved insecurities tbh

I shouldn’t need to feel like I have to prove myself to you. In any light, really. Because your thoughts are your own, and your perspective is valid. Just so as long as you are bot rude, destructive, or divisive

But maybe that’s just it: maybe not any one of us HAVE to be the perfect one. There’s three of us that each of us are too at and I think that it is our calling to recognize that, live it, and be proud of jt

5.10.21

BMI is 31% ☹️☹️☹️ (I gained 16 pounds since December!!!!!!! I cry)

5.11.21 - felt overwhelmed by everything LSAT is in a month again, APABA social opportunities — WHATEVER. We can entertain networking and social opportunities AFTER June LSAT and the WHOLE year after we have finished submitting applications Focus on the projects you have already been assigned to and focus on mentorship with Zarra.

I can not be waiting on things and people that might not happen

5.11.21

“Kamille we’re at Armature”

Iconic pics, Kyle, and my booty !!!!!! #MangoSangria #MonicaMakesMeLaugh

It was so nice to be surrounded in laughter and good spirits again. To have like a “mini” night out. Granted, it was a little weird, since this wasn’t my crowd of close friends. But. Still nice!

It also freaks me out that all the “babies” from 2018 are al grown up and graduated - Raul, Jacob, Nica, etc. like girl..... HUH?????? (I am shook)

Monica is so effing funny. I forgot

5.12.21

These days, I’ve been wondering if/when I’ll ever get into law school. A part of me wonders if the past 3 years was just another script to go by - to prove and show to others that I was “working on something”. And when I look back on my progress, idk why I feel ashamed and aspiration-less and then other times I swallow up with pride.

Half of me wants to give myself unconditional love and support - and to endlessly believe that I’m- actually good (and destined) for law school.

Then the other half of me wants to stop pretending. It wonders why - if it was meant for me and part of my calling - why does it feel so impossible all the time? Am I fighting for a dream or am I bullying myself into an image of myself that I insist on having.

I’ve always enjoyed who I am around people and how they view me.

Been wondering if I’m bipolar. I’ve always felt everything so intensely - and I feel like I’ve always been prone to leaning into the positive more so than the negative.

Culture: It is a commitment to sharing traditions, remembering history, and embodying resilience.

5.13.21

Appreciating my face and my bod for what it is and re-learning to be body positive. Aka loving when I swear and not beating myself up for not measuring up the bar that I used to reach from before

Just like the world outside me, my body is allowed to have seasons. To change to grow to gain, to lose. I’m allowed to do it all

LMAO AT OUR RANDOM BURST OF CREYING in the car on the way to get soy sauce from the Philippine Grocery. “Hard Habit to Break” — hearing dads voice so clearly and it making me emotional that one day I’ll hear that and he won’t be there and LOL IDK WHY I RANDOMLY STARTED CRYIG LMAO IT WAS SO WEIRD

I did good today. I did a lot of things. I studied. I worked out. I grocery shopped for the house. I cleaned for the house. I prepped food. I picked up dinner for the Vus. I had quality time with them. I did good today. I deserve rest. I deserve reflection.

5.16.21

I don’t want to attach myself to those things, because if I do that, I’m afraid I’ll always be mourning myself. And I don’t want to expend that energy. Ya know, energy is not what I have all the time anymore. And that’s a part of growing up

If what I’m experiencing now is the beginning of how it’s going to be and one of many, I don’t want to always be here.

I want to welcome those parts of me that are coming in and all the good that is to come from me evolving and changing and growing.

I should be proud that I get to even have this. When many people don’t have that past/foundation to begin with, But that I get to do it again

Question for you right now

What can I do now to minimize those feelings of anxiety and shame?

Question for the future:

Do I ever get over these feelings of growing pain?

Is the life I’m building and in 5 years from now something I’m proud of adding to my existing catalogue of passionate and exciting work?

Something tells me to watch out for 2038

“To choose something opposite of what nature tells you is the being of love”

5.17.21 “No one thinks that of you. No one is attacking you no one is giving you bad energy. Stop feeding those illusions in your head, come outside of them and work and live and be alive.”

+ It’s so funny how I’m already daydreaming about what October///Fall 2021 is going to look like. Specifically after September when all the hell of these next few months are going to be over.

Sometimes I get scared thinking about what my application will look like. How defeated and hopeless I may feel. I’m scared it’s going to be like Sept 2020 all over again. And it’s in my head that Sept/October is just a cursed time for me all around (ever since 2019. Haha)

But at the same time, I can’t help but feel a small gust of optimism thinking about then. Knowing that Ill be done and knowing that I will have given it my all- even if it isn’t 100% of the image I had in mind for my first round of law school applications.

A small part of me hopes that I’ll be proud of myself for coming that far, and that whether I’ll be able to see it or not- that good things are inevitably coming my way.

I can’t wait to go to Khoimanda’s wedding and turn tf up!!!, I can’t wait for our potential family trip to Seattle, and for Fall/Halloween festivities to return. I can’t wait to hopefully see my lineage out and/or at a rave (ok, maybe not EDC? But def spring 2022! Lmao), I can’t wait to work on my body again, I can’t wait have more CAM hangouts and Quality FTs with friends I love by then, and overall I can’t wait feel as free as I did in between Feb LSAT and April NALA.

I think it’s so weird that I’m looking forward to Fall when summer has barely begun. But it’s all good. Summer 2021 is when ow tap thisbmuthafuqqa of an application UP. And submit that sht.

2022 we comin for you baybee

sometimes I feel bummed that no one (besides my family) got to see my “quarantine” bod/weight loss. But .. I guess the more I think about it, the more I realize that maybe that was something for me to enjoy.

+ “If I crave only the sensation of being in a relationship without having someone to fit the bill. Well then….. I want joy and excitement. I want the sensation of happiness more than I want a person. And I guess thats where the wrong foot was placed. “I bore my soul to you and you wanted no part of it. Thats enough to convince me.” —— a delightful thought I had while listening to jazz coffee shop music on YouTube. A reminder to myself to stay creative, stay hopeful, and to stick to what gives back to me.

5.18.21

"It's okay if it's only for a short time."

+ Feeding Ducks with Josh & Denni. I’m so happy that we’re all in each other’s lives again and that ... there’s a sense of bonding and connection again. Feels like a girl group that has since reconciled LOL #EthnicCleansingDucks #BananaAtDuck #YayForThemReteachingMeHowToRideABike #MealOnWheel #OliviaRodrigoWhatALegend

“I just felt so disconnected from myself and what I knew myself to be. And in turn that made me feel disconnected from those around me. Like... how could I relate and catchup and support my friend if I couldn’t even do that for myself. I didn’t feel like having that conversation of “ya know I’m not ok. I’m not the happiest, I do feel displaced. I wasn’t ready to share and fig into those feelings with someone else, largely bc I hadn’t even fully unpacked it myself”

+ If you ever want to feel better, put on some eyebrows and some chapstick. And drink your water. It’ll make you feel like a functional and presentable person again”

“I just feel like my life is changing as I know it.”

Things are always changing and time is always passing. The more you mimize your focus into that the more you’ll go mad. Stop fighting it - and dance along with it.

5.21.21

“God meets you where you meet yourself”

“Is that what you think that’s all i want you to be? Not g?”

“I will always be g. Unless you look like I ain’t looking at you”

5.22.21

+ Caden’s 1st Haircut he’s so cute and so smart and so kind and so cuddly! UGH

+ Laughs with Ate Lee in the car (Idk how to make a fire)

+ Invited to Dan Lalican’s wedding (I know, random right? Lmao)

+ It’s so weird to think that one day I will look back on this time - law school application stress, LSAT, taking care of Caden, being jobless —- as something of the past. That instead of being the “now” and the present moment, it will one day be another “past era” in my life that I’ll be able to look back on. I realize that so much more these days. Like whenever I hear “Rain on Me” or the “positions album”. the more I hear music from Summer or Fall 2020. That. Despite all the hardships and sadness and feelings of loss I felt from so many things in that time- there was still a life I lived and still so much good I had.

It’s always so weird to me how you can’t fully reflect on a time period until it’s passed. Until it’s gone. And so idk why that always makes me feel bittersweet. It freaks me out and makes me sentimental all at the same time and often I never really know how to process it. Lol

I wonder if there will ever be a time when I’m better at processing how fast time changes and how flexible life can be.

But I guess maybe that should make me feel excited? That the more things change, the more things will remain fresh and exciting.

Idk.

I just hope that in 5 years I’ll be able to look back on this time with a big swollen heart; filled with gratitude and excitement.

We hope LOL

5.23.21

People make decisions based on their experiences of you. And if their experience of you is that you’re late and you make last minute decisions, then you shouldn’t be mad at that.

“I’ve always been my most confident self when I talk about the Lord

the power of speaking to someone so rooted in the Lord

Snapped me out of my funk. The realization that: in it praying

I’m where I’m meant to be - and that as long as I’m doing it with the Lord it’s good

“You sound like you’ve really grown and are at peace with that. That’s beautiful.”

5.24.21

+ My dump truck fattie booty while sitting on the bench at the gym #BlueNikeShorts #WhiteWoodlandsBoxers

+ My sexy as progress and how toned and tan and good my body looks; we making it baybeee!

+ Felt incredibly confident 10/10 physical appearance wise (clear smooth skin, no terrible flare ups and looked so effing toned today)

+ Feel antsy about LSAT and future

+ Looking forward to wedding fun this Friday but also getting nervous at how Much I have to make room for it and prep during this week - WHICH takes away study time 😭

5.25.21

Time passes. And you’ll have lots to reminisce on (luckily). But it doesn’t mean you have to be sad. SMF throwbacks and talking w Reena. — You’re allowed to be as joyful and excited and full of humor and light, no matter how slow things are going on. You don’t have to guilt yourself into feeling a certain way. Time passes. And you are allowed to dance and to Move freely along with it.

What a gift it is to see things progress as they are meant to. What a gift it is to remember unique seasons and to embrace every fruit that those times gave us. What a gift it is to experience change.

Sometimes these days I have a hard time embracing what’s supposed to be “permanent”. And I guess... it’s weird. It feels like time passes so slowly and so fast at the same time. And I feel like hitting everything down because I always want to be able to remember every moment, ever sensation, and every feeling. Even if it’ll pass. And these days i I guess I just didn’t expect things would change so drastically.. but I guess that gives me hope. I guess if I take a quick glimpse at all of my favorite things - if I look at X-Men comics, Britney Spears albums, I guess things have to change. And the beauty of every single change came with the fact that every change made way forward something new. Something fresh, unfamiliar, and exciting, Not change, but progress. And I want to remember that progress is where new treasures are found. Progress brings valleys, it brings highs and lows, and it brings the unforeseeable. But I guess that’s what makes an interesting Song. And I guess - if you compare the open dessert with the Gand Canyon, you’d be far more amazed and enchanted by the Canyon. In all its varying heights and inconsistencies and unique/fine details. From a grander point of view , I guess that’s what makes something beautiful. Not necessity details of repetition and predictability. But in the larger picture of a grand image.

You are allowed to feel old anxieties and old pain. Don’t let your pride be the one to repress your feelings and make you feel small and go unheard. Sit with your insecurities. Allow them to tell you your fears. Finally, learn to walk with them, allowing them to leave as they please.

Inspired by my feelings of not wanting to force myself to go along with a certain feeling I’ve had from before, I removed Kyle, Tammi, and Randy from my IG close friends. I don’t know why it feels like such a big deal (when these friends don’t hold a necessarily CLOSE CLOSEE place. Idk. I guess I just want to stop justifying certain things that I do when I feel that it doesn’t give back to me).

5.26.21

My face looks so much better with facial hair. Like my features really POP and look symmetrical when my hair is grown out

+ Talking to loads of friends today on FT - Josh, Reena, Calvin, etc

Made the realization that ... I’ve had the tendency of withdrawing from friends and catching up with them in this pandemic era. Not only bc I don’t have money LOL, but bc Im never excited to talk about myself when we inevitably catch up. I hate telling the same story I’ve been telling since 2018, and I especially don’t want to confront the issue that .. I’ve been happier. That I’m not my best, and that I’m not the most hopeful rn. And that the place that I’m in is one of being tired all the time, being afraid all the time, feeling like I’m not measuring up or doing anything right. And feeling left to wonder if all my most memorable moments are behind me.

And so whenever Im going through periods like that I tend to withdraw bc I don’t want to lie and pretend that everything is good. I guess that so much of my identity is being a happy and energetic version of me, so much of what I’m known for (and feel valued for) is being that. And so when it comes to being anything BUT that, it makes me take a step back. And..... I don’t want to be sad Judsy, I don’t want to be helpless, hopeless, and God-less Judsy. I don’t know how to be that person with my friends. I don’t know that person.

And... I mean I guess technically I know that person. I know that person very well, in the comfort of my own journals and in my own secure thoughts of reflection. but I don’t know how to be that person in the presence of others. And so I guess that’s something I’m working on and building off of. Recognizing that it’s ok not to be this bright & bubbly caricature all the time. And that my real friends value who I am when I’m not funny.

Appreciate Josh, Calvin, Reena, and all my friends who remind me what it feels like to feel seen and to be wanted. and that it’s ok to laugh Life off and keep going..

5.31.21

could care less about katey and kyles engagement (lol oops)

Caden’s sweet demeanor and how he looks concerned and presses his tiny face against ours whenever we pretend to faint :’) LOL

Seeing Devera again and remembering how genuinely funny and a joy it is to laugh with him

Raffy and PDP

Seeing Caden w Liana

Kinda bummed that G didn’t text us when rolling :’/ LMFAOO oh wellz. Humble reality checks I suppose. (Maybe we really not should be relying on certain people or circumstances to fulfill us. Rather, to allow life to change and bend and to allow whatever THAT looks like to fulfill you? And to trust in that.

Siana’s Legacy:

Artists using the “90s Dance” trend after acclaimed 2019 album “Uncharted”

“Honeymoon Fades” Era Singles

“Honeymoon Fades” (released November 6, 2020)

“Baby” (video December 11, 2020)

My Head & My Heart (released February 20, 2021)

“Not Siana giving us 2018 and 2019 vibes from all these haircuts”

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theskzvibe · 3 years

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MIXED UP JAKE SIM

CHAPTER 1

you dragged your feet throughout the halls and towards your locker, one cup of coffee this morning was not enough to keep you going. as you opened your locker, someone tapped your shoulder. “y/n!!” your best friend sunoo smiled at you, instantly energizing you. “hey bestie” you smiled back at him while you put your books in your locker and shut it closed. “what happened to you? you look like the walking dead.” Sunoo said making you scoff. “I was up late last night, I practiced for the dance team tryouts after school, and then I practically pulled an all nighter on homework and essays.” you grumbled. “you’re a really good dancer I don't understand why you are still practicing. was Giselle with you?” sunoo asked while you two both walked to your first class, and you nodded. “speaking of the devil” sunoo laughs as a very tired Giselle slowly walks up to you both. “hey zombie girl” sunos smirks at Giselle while she hits his arm. “I am tired. “sunoo don't forget that picture I have of you with ramen up your nose.” Giselle raises her eyebrows. “my dear best friend is threatening to blackmail me right now?” “yes but I don't have the energy to keep going.” Giselle says while yawning. Suddenly Giselles eyes widen and she straightens up. “what just woke you up?” Sunoo said while looking behind him. There they were, the soccer team; Heeseung, Sunghoon, Jake, Jay, Niki. “gross Giselle stop drooling over Heeseung, and grow some balls and ask him out.” sunoo rolls his eyes. “what would I even say to him, he doesn’t even know me.” Giselle whines. “why don't you ask your little brother to set you two up?” you ask. “NO! I can never tell Niki about my crush on his soccer captain. He will never stop making fun of me, I can see it already.” “well maybe y/n will grow some balls to ask out ‘pineapple’ and then you guys can double date.” Sunoo laughs. “SHHHH hes right there!” you whisper yell. “Y/n I literally said his codename you made for him when we were in middle school. plus hes busy talking to Jake.” Sunoo rolls his eyes. “wait y/n it would be so cute if you went out with Sunghoon and I went out with Heeseung and we double dated!” Giselle gushed. “SHHHHH Giselle!! please say pineapple. I’d be screwed if he found out I liked him.” you worried. “ugh fine, but code names are cringey, like why pineapple? he reminds me more of an apple to be honest.” Giselle says while starring at him. “Don’t stare directly at him! he’ll know we are talking about him” you say. “talking about who?” someone asks right behind Giselles shoulder making all of you jump. “NIKI YOU LITTLE BITCH! DONT EVER SCARE ME AGAIN” Giselle yells at her brother while he just laughs. “why are you guys drooling over my teammates? its gross.” niki makes a disgusted face. “y/n has been hopelessly in love with sunghoon for 4 years now, and she hasn't made a move yet.” sunoo bluntly says. Niki gasps and covers up his mouth, “noway” he starts laughing. “Sunoo! why would you tell him?! Niki please don't say anything.” you plead. “I won’t tell him, but you should make a move fast, ever since he had that growth spurt, more girls are hitting on him by the day.” niki states. “but he grew like last year, and girls have always been over him” you argue. “damn girl you study him or something?” niki says, making sunoo laugh. “in fact she does.” sunoo states. “sunoo we should set them up.” niki says out of nowhere. “that's not like you Niki, what's the condition?” Giselle asks. “well you guys are trying out for the dance team, and that hot girl Yuna is on the team...” niki pleads with his eyes. “NO WAY YOU LIKE YUNA?” Giselle screams, and as a reflex niki covers her mouth. Giselle smacks his hand off her mouth, “she's too nice for you but whatever, deal.” Niki smiles in satisfaction. “okay after school today you guys should come to soccer practice to watch, after practice you guys come up to me and it could be a good excuse for you guys to talk to them” Niki schemes. “good idea, niki we can text about our y/n & sunghoon plan ideas” sunoo says while already starting a to do list on his phone. “you guys are something else.” Giselle says while rolling her eyes at her brother and best friend. “Okay we got physics class to get to, bye bestie! bye stinky!” Giselle says to the boys while linking arms with you, and turning in the direction of your classroom. “watch what you call me! I’m helping you and your hopeless romantic best friend out?” Niki yells back at you two. you two laugh all the way to your classroom. “oh hey y/n! Giselle!” Jake sim greets you both with a smile at your shared classrooms door. “hey Jake!” you say in return, as he holds the door for you and lets you enter the room first. you mutter a quiet “thank you” and head towards your desk. you have been friends with Jake since preschool, your mothers were and still friends, making you two friendly. you two used to be close in preschool, but as you guys got older, you drifted and things became a bit more awkward. the extent of your conversations were just hellos, and jakes occurring morning niceness when he holds the door for you. sometimes you guys discuss work in class or quietly joke when your teacher is making no sense again. you sat down at your seat, with Giselle who always sits next to you, and Jake who decided to sit behind you, and following him was his best friend sunghoon.

as your teacher started with the lesson, everything was good, but then with the equations, you suddenly got lost. “oh my god.” Giselle practically smacked her head on the lab desk. “what happened?” you whispered. she showed you her phone that presented a text from her brother Niki. “he’s making me do errands for him because of the deal” she groaned. “oh no im sorry g” you rubbed her back. “what does he want?” you asked. “he wants hot coco from the cafeteria. its fine this class is boring anyways, ill be right back.” and Giselle took the bathroom pass and left.

The teacher left you guys to work with your partners but you physically groaned out of confusion, and not having a partner because Giselle was being used by her brother. “what?” you whisper to yourself. Jake with his super hearing must have heard you because he called your name making you turn around. you make eye contact with Jake and then look next to him and see sunghoon, making your heart rate instantly increase. your cheeks reddened and you looked back at Jake, “yeah?” you asked. “I was wondering since you don't have anyone to work with right now, if you wanted to work with us?” he shyly smiled. you sighed out of relief, “honestly yes please because I am so confused right now.” you laughed. “yeah mr.kim doesn't even teach, the only reason why i’m passing is because Jake gives me his notes. he’s a science whiz.” sunghoon jokes, making Jake shy. “yeah I always remember Jake was always the smartest in our class, even in preschool” you laughed, making Jake blush harder. Jake clears his throat and looks up at you “well tomorrow night we are going to the library to work on physics, if you want to join us?” Jake asks. “that would be really helpful Jake, thank you.” you smile again and turn around as you see Giselle walking back in. “hey” you greet her while she sits down. “why is my little brother the literal devil reincarnated?” she says making you laugh.

MIXED UP MASTER LIST

next: chapter 2

taglist: @zylenes

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trulymadlysydney · 3 years

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Somewhere In Time: Nine

“The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we've lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we've found each other. And maybe each time, we've been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come.”

-Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

tw: Death, Loss of Parent

Previous Chapters HERE

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April 18th, 1963, 1:32pm

It’s a warm spring day, one of the first of the year, and ten year-old Tanya Elliot is thrilled to be done with class for the day.

She steps out into the sunshine, forgoing her jacket and instead slinging it over her arm as she says her quick goodbyes to her five best friends. None of them are headed to the same destination; Sherry’s mom picks her up in the parking lot, Marcy and Jana both take the bus, Kelly walks over to the high school to meet up with her brother, and Shannon walks home-- only in the opposite direction that Tanya does.

With an agreement to meet up in their usual spot tomorrow morning before school (and Kelly’s promise to bring some extra sweets from her mother’s baking club), they set off on their separate ways. Tanya shifts her backpack to her left shoulder, and begins her fifteen minute walk home.

She takes a big deep breath of the sweet smelling air, enjoying the way the sun feels against her face. She wonders if maybe she could convince her parents to take a trip to the lake on Saturday; maybe she could work on her tan for a bit. (And besides, she wouldn’t mind seeing Willard, the older boy who lives with his family in a gorgeous house right on the water.)

Tanya stops walking and is completely knocked out of her thoughts when something-- someone-- across the playground catches her attention.

It seems to be another little girl, definitely no older than Tanya herself. Tanya finds her eyes fixated on the girl the moment she sees her. She’s beautiful, but she sticks out like a sore thumb because her clothing is not at all of this time period.

Tanya stops walking, eyeing the girl from afar. As completely out of place as she seems, she looks perfectly calm. She watches the other children, a slight smile on her face. No one seems to acknowledge her much, except for maybe a confused glance or a laugh at her appearance. She brushes off the children’s snickers (as far as Tanya can tell, she doesn’t even react at all) and continues to scan the playground as if looking for something.

The girl seems to feel Tanya’s eyes, because her soft smile only grows in intensity before she turns her eyes to meet Tanya’s gaze. It makes Tanya’s blood run cold, but it also piques her curiosity intensely.

At first, Tanya thinks she’s perhaps seeing a ghost; after all, she’s lived in this town all her life and never noticed this strange girl with the strange clothes. But at any rate, it doesn’t frighten her much, and when the young girl smiles at Tanya, Tanya thinks better of her original assumption.

Tanya glances down at her watch-- a gold watch that is much too big for her wrist-- to read the time: 2:32. Her mother will be expecting her home in fifteen minutes, and will probably start to worry should she be but a minute later.

Still, Tanya can’t shake the feeling that this girl is important. There’s something in her eyes that feels familiar and welcoming, and an overwhelming sense of magnetism radiating from her very being. Tanya knows better than to talk to strangers, of course, but this isn’t a stranger; this is another little girl. A friend, perhaps.

So she bites the bullet and makes her way across the wood-chip covered playground, without any regard as to whether the girl wants to speak to her as well.

“Are you new?” Tanya asks as she approaches, by way of introduction.

The girl smiles an all knowing smile, as if she’s been waiting for Tanya to ask “I’m Violet.”

Tanya laughs at that. “Neat. That’s not what I asked, but neat. I’m Tanya.”

“Hello Tanya.” Violet remains weirdly comfortable throughout this entire interaction, as if she’s spoken to Tanya several times before this. She nods towards her hand. “I like your ring.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m not new, no. I’m from the past.”

Tanya isn’t sure she’s heard Violet correctly the minute the words leave Violet’s mouth. She blinks, waiting for Violet’s face to change to reveal that she is, in fact, joking. But her face never changes. She remains stone faced and unmoving, and it takes Tanya aback.

After a charged yet awkward silence, Tanya speaks. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I—“

“No you did,” Violet cuts her off. “You heard correctly.”

Tanya blinks dumbly back at her new friend. “I don’t…. understand…?”

Violet sighs, almost as if bothered to be explaining herself. “I travelled through time to get here here. From the past.”

Now, Tanya grows skeptical. She wonders if this is one of her friends playing a prank on her, and she glances around to see if anyone is watching her from afar and holding in their giggles. When she’s met only with complete normalcy, however, she turns back to her new friend.

“But how?” She asks. “How is that possible?”

Violet shrugs. “I don’t know. I just know that it is. Because here I am.”

Tanya, still skeptical, laughs in disbelief. “Alright” she says, “well then what year are you from?” She puts air quotations around the question, which only makes Violet laugh in a way that makes Tanya feel immature.

“I come from 1907,” Violet explains. “What year is this? 1967?”

“1963,” Tanya corrects. “But I’m sure you knew that.” She rolls her eyes. “Look, what’s the big idea? I know you’re trying to fool me, and it isn’t working.”

Violet shakes her head. “But I’m not, silly!” She says. “I’ve been working since I was small to learn how to time travel. And I finally did it!”

“Wow,” Tanya deadpans, still completely unconvinced. “How did you do it?”

Violet grins. “You don’t believe me, do you?”

“To tell you the truth, Violet,” Tanya says, absentmindedly picking at the dirt under her nails, “I don’t.”

“I didn’t think so.” Violet giggles. “But if you really want to know, I’ll tell you.”

Tanya glances nervously around the playground once again. She knows she’s already going to be late coming home anyway, so there’s no reason she shouldn’t stay here and talk to the odd girl. Still, she doesn’t want to push her own luck with her mother.

She shrugs. “Actually, I gotta get home,” she explains. “But if you wanna walk with me, you can.”

Violet smiles, looking more childlike than she has in their entire interaction. “Really? Gee, I’d love that!”

“Really?” Tanya smiles. “Alright. Follow me.”

The two girls fall into step, side by side, as Violet launches right into her story about time travel. This doesn’t seem to be a secret for her— in fact it seems about as common a topic as the weather for Violet— but Tanya grows slightly embarrassed at the volume of the other girl’s voice.

It’s all so strange really, how trusting Violet is of Tanya. Then again, Tanya could really say the same thing about herself. She doesn’t know what it is about the peculiar girl that causes her to trust her so much, but at any rate she enjoys her company. (Even if her story is a bit odd.)

What Tanya hadn’t anticipated, of course, was the connection and friendship she would develop with this girl. She hadn’t anticipated inviting the girl over for dinner that night, (and she hadn’t expected her mother to say yes). She hadn’t anticipated spending all of her free time with Violet, laughing and playing together and becoming the best of friends. And she definitely hadn’t anticipated that within the coming weeks, she would come to believe Violet’s story whole-heartedly, which would instill within her a deep fascination in the concept of time travel.

And more than anything, she hadn’t expected their goodbye to be so painful.

Violet had explained to her multiple times that this was the first time she’d done anything like this. She had also explained that, although she would try, there was no guarantee she would be able to come back. And although Tanya had listened and valued what her friend was saying, she hadn’t exactly believed her. She had faith that her friend was going to come back. She had faith they would be friends forever.

But when Violet disappears, on exactly the day that she’d said she would and without saying a proper goodbye to Tanya, Tanya grows desperate.

It’s why, in the years that follow, Tanya finds herself immersed in book after book, depicting time travel and its possibilities. It’s why she reaches out, through any means necessary, trying to find some way to communicate with her friend from another time. Her friend, who quickly became a soulmate best friend, who understood her in ways many others did not.

It’s why Tanya finds herself grounded for a week the summer before 7th grade because she got in a fight with a boy at school who told her time travel was bogus.

It’s why she finds herself, on the night of her fifteenth birthday party, being relentlessly teased by her friends for still being interested in time travel.

And it’s why, on April 18th, 1975, she finds herself crying on her bed after another failed time travel attempt.

Her one year-old daughter Veronica sleeps peacefully in her crib as Tanya tries, to absolutely no avail, to travel back to her friend. She wants to tell Violet all about her daughter. She wants to tell Violet that, despite the literal years that separate them, she’s always considered Violet to be her baby’s godmother. She isn’t even sure why she’s still so hung up on this whole ordeal, but in any case she’s desperate to find an answer, and to know if Violet is searching for one too.

Tanya glances out at the night sky, the skyline of New York—so hopeful and inspiring to some, but so suffocating to her— promising Violet that she will never give up.

She promises, out loud, that she will never stop trying to find her friend. In every lifetime. In every timeline. She swears she will do her best to find her.

And with a discouraged heart that she tries to ignore, Tanya goes to bed; dreaming of a world far different than her own, in which times are simpler, and her best friend lives forever.

---------------

January 9th, 1925, 8:22am

It’s a quiet, somber morning in Harry’s apartment. In the same fashion that they have for the past few mornings, Harry and Roni work side by side to prepare breakfast in the kitchen. Only this time, it’s quiet. Nearly wordless. Their kisses are dry but lingering, and it makes them both feel guilty in a way that neither can explain.

Harry fights to suppress the urge to beg Roni, at least once or twice more, to stay with him; and Roni has to hold back the tears threatening to spill at any moment because she feels entirely too overwhelmed with questions. What if she’s doing the wrong thing? What if she chose to stay? How would all of her loved ones back home manage to live? Or what if they didn’t, and Roni’s decision killed them all off? Would it be quick and painless for all her loved ones in her original timeline? Would they just all together stop existing? Would anyone even remember them?

“I don’t like this,” Harry speaks up, drawing Roni from her thoughts as they sit wordlessly at the dining table.

“Hm?” Roni doesn’t ask it because she didn’t hear what he said. Rather, she asks as a way to fill the silence that follows his words.

“I don’t like that we’re just… not saying anything. I don’t know.”

Roni sighs. “I know,” she admits. “It’s not how I wanted our last morning to go.”

Harry winces subtly at her words-- “our last morning,”-- and Roni wishes more than anything that she could take them back. But she can’t. There is no way around the inevitable any longer.

“I hate feeling like--” Harry trails off, and Roni doesn’t push him to finish the sentence.

“Like we’ve run out of things we can say?” she offers after a moment, tracing the rim of her mug with her fingers. “Me too. It kills me.”

Harry gives her only a sad smile in response, which breaks Roni’s heart even further. She wants to suggest pretending like everything is fine, of course, the same way she has every morning for the past week. But she can’t. Not anymore. The decision has been made, and she can’t change her mind now.

Unless…

“Your food is going to get cold,” Harry chuckles, and Roni glances down at the room temperature piece of toast that’s been sitting in her hand for the past five minutes. She laughs bitterly, and swallows the lump that refuses to go down in her throat.

“Sorry,” she says. “Kinda nauseous. Not in a breakfast sort of mood.”

“Well you’ll have to eat something.” Harry drums his fingers absentmindedly along the tabletop. “Got a long journey ahead of you, y’know.”

He says it with a smile, but the words only cause the lump in Roni’s throat to grow ten sizes. She knows he’s trying to be encouraging, but it hurts far, far too much. She thinks that if the pain of overthinking doesn’t kill her, the suffocating feeling in her throat surely will.

Harry notices her facial expression, and his cheeks go red. “Sorry.”

Roni’s face grows hot and her eyes go a bit foggy. She had told herself this morning that she wasn’t going to cry all day today, at least not until that evening as they were saying their final goodbyes. This vow, however, had come after a silent cry as she lay in bed watching her sleeping lover breathe softly with tousled curls and a sleepy pout on his face. She could lay with him and watch him sleep like that forever.

So she giggles half-heartedly and unconvincingly, pulling away from his loving touch and fanning at her moist eyes with her hands. “Ah!” She groans. “Sorry. I wasn’t gonna cry until—“

“Hey, hey!” Harry leans earnestly across the table, reaching forward and placing his hand comfortingly on her back. “It’s okay, honey. Listen, you’re okay. It’s okay to cry.”

“This blows,” Roni says, her words accented by a bitter laugh. “I fucking hate this.”

Harry chuckles at her words. “As do I, honey. But it’s okay.” He scratches at her spine lightly, his voice softening as he repeats his words for emphasis. “It’s going to be okay.”

Roni looks at him, no longer trying to supress the single tear rolling down her cheek. He offers her the sweetest smile in return, and she leans across the table to kiss it softly. “Angel,” she says. “You’re a fucking angel.”

It makes Harry giggle, and he pulls away to stab gently at his scrambled eggs with his fork.

“Been thinking.” He speaks a moment later around a mouthful.

“Yeah?”

“Mm. Think we should make tonight special.”

“Special,” Roni scoffs. “Not quite the word I’d use for it.”

“I know,” Harry chuckles, “but it might ease the blow a bit.”

Roni rests her elbows on the table, leaning in to listen to him. “What did you have in mind?”

“Well,” Harry says, allowing himself a pause to swallow his food. “It’s going to be cold, so that might put a bit of a damper on the evening.”

“Because it was going to be such a lovely evening otherwise,” Roni says sarcastically, and Harry rolls his eyes at her cheekiness before continuing.

“Was thinking we could build a fire. Pack some food, maybe some candles. Extra blankets. You can wear my coat that you like.” His smile deepens. “You know. Just make tonight as pleasant as we can make it. Maybe a bit romantic. Go out with a bang, so to speak.”

Roni hesitates, trying to fight the subtle smirk threatening to form on her face. “Was that a play on words?”

“Hm?”

“You know.” Roni shifts in her seat, enjoying the playful banter that’s briefly lightening the mood. “A ‘bang.’ Like we’re gonna bang later.”

Harry laughs, an amused furrow in his brow. “I don’t understand. What does that mean?”

“You don’t use the term banging? Like, for having sex?”

“Never heard of that, no.” Harry grins. “It’s catchy. I like it.”

“Right?” Roni raises her coffee mug to her lips. “I figured that’s what you meant.”

“Do you want to-- eh-- bang? Tonight?” Harry laughs at the phrase that feels so foreign in his own mouth, and it makes Roni giggle in spite of herself.

“I mean we don’t have to. We might be too sad to bang. We can see where the wind takes us.”

“The wind is going to take you right on back to 1999,” Harry says sadly, although his smile still lingers on his cheeks.

Roni’s smile fades, and she feels her shoulders visibly sink. “Well,” she says softly, “yeah.”

Harry chuckles. “Sorry. We’re talking in circles here, aren’t we?” He nods towards her plate. “Can I make you something else, darling?”

———————

The rest of the day feels like a strange dream, both dragging on and passing by in a blur. They make slow, quiet love on the couch, and they tease each other playfully when they both inevitably start crying. When the sun begins its natural descent, they turn on some cheerful music to try and ease their anxiety, but it doesn’t help— reminding them instead of all the fun times they’ve had together.

Harry sighs after the third record they’ve put on doesn’t do the trick. “Can I play something else?” He asks, quietly but hopefully. “It’s gonna be a bit sad, but… you know.”

Roni shrugs. “Shoot,” she offers. “Not like you can bring the mood today down any further.”

Harry chuckles. “Well…” he says, then trails off. He gives Roni’s knee a gentle squeeze before rising to his feet, padding barefoot across the carpet to switch songs.

In such a simple act, Roni finds herself particularly overwhelmed with emotion. She watches him, eyes trailing the spanse of his broad back, admiring the way his trousers cling to his pert backside and the way he stands, legs apart and with most of his weight on his right side. She wonders if he’s aware that he stands like that.

In all of her twenty-six years of living, she’s never fallen so deeply in love with the tiniest characteristics of a person before. Not until Harry. She notices everything about him, and finds every bit of it endearing— (even the way he snores in his sleep so loudly it wakes her up). These specific moments of quiet admiration hold as much weight and value in her memory as those instances of passionate love making or deep belly laughter or falling asleep in one another’s arms. It’s all so deliciously him—them— and she can’t seem to fathom continuing on in a world without him.

When the music begins, Roni’s throat feels like it’s closing in around itself. She recognizes the song instantly— it’s one he’d played for her back when she’d first gotten here. It sounds different this time, and it doesn’t take Roni long to realize that this isn’t the instrumental version she’d first heard. This time, it’s the version with lyrics; lyrics that hold a much deeper value in her heart than the first time Harry had whispered them in her ear. Roni looks at Harry, helpless, as the opening notes begin playing.

Gone is the romance that was so divine

‘Tis broken and cannot be mended

Harry joins in, stepping gently towards Roni with a sympathetic, yet understanding smile. “You must go your way, and I must go mine, but now that our love dream has ended…” Harry trails off, his eyes growing misty (though he fights hard to suppress it. “Fitting, innit?”

“Oh Harry,” Roni sighs. She rises to her feet, taking his hand and allowing him to pull her into him. They sway gently, in what could hardly be considered a waltz, and Roni tries desperately to push the anxiety in her throat down. She rests her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes and breathing in his scent by his neck. He holds her like he’ll never let her go.

“Remember the first time we did this?” Harry asks quietly.

“How could I forget?” Roni laughs. “Feels like a lifetime ago.”

Harry rests his cheek lightly on Roni’s head. “It does, doesn’t it?”

They continue to sway, hardly exchanging any words, and Roni doesn’t even realize that she’s crying (again) until she pulls away to look up at Harry and notices her tear stains against his shirt. He’s trying not to cry as well; Roni can tell by the way he refuses to look anywhere but at one spot on the wall. But when Roni kisses the corner of his chin, he softens with a chuckle, shaking his head as if he can’t believe their luck.

“I’m already missing you, bunny.”

Roni sniffs, nuzzling her face back into Harry’s chest. “I’m missing you more than you know.”

Not another word is spoken, and even after the song ends, they stand together in silence. They’re hardly swaying any longer at this point— mostly they’re just holding one another while they still can. After about five minutes, Harry audibly swallows.

“We should probably get going. It’ll be dark soon.”

His words make Roni nauseous, knowing that her time left in this humble apartment is limited now to only minutes. She stops swaying, and Harry makes no effort to let go of her. He sighs, scratching tenderly at her back. “I know,” he whispers, “I hate it, too.”

Roni tries her best to keep a brave face. “Trying to get rid of me that quick are you?” she teases. She’s delighted when she hears a genuine laugh bubble out from Harry’s mouth.

“Oh honey,” he says, kissing the top of her head. “Never, never. Never in a million years.”

They remain still, holding one another in their embrace until they both become painfully aware that they really do need to get going. The process of untangling themselves from one another’s arms takes much longer than necessary, and even as they let go they immediately interlace their fingers.

“I don’t have anything to pack,” Roni admits. “You can keep my party dress from when I got here. It’s too cold for me to put it on and sit on the beach tonight. And as for the ones you bought me—“ She trails off, glancing down at the skirt of the pretty dress she’s wearing right now. “Well, you can keep those, too. Not sure how much use I’ll have for them in the year 2000.”

“You never know,” Harry jokes, trying to keep things light hearted. “Maybe there’ll be a costume party or something--”

Roni giggles, shaking her head and wiping her eyes. “Harry.”

He smiles, leaning forward and kissing her nose. “I’ll pack up some snacks and a few other things we might need. A blanket maybe. You get your stones and such. And,” a crooked smile tugs on his cheek, “that coat you like.”

Roni grins, in spite of herself. “Can I wear your cap?”

“Do you want to wear my cap?”

“I want any piece of you on me that I can possibly get.”

Harry chuckles, and for a moment everything feels completely normal. “Cheeky,” he mutters, pinching her butt before turning to busy himself in the kitchen.

Roni watches him for a bit, and although he’s aware of it he doesn’t make some cheeky, embarrassed little remark requesting her to stop. She watches the way he moves around the kitchen that she’s grown so familiar with. The kitchen, so beyond tiny and cozy, connecting to the living room that has come to smell like home.

The memories they have made in this humble living room in such a short amount of time begin playing like a film in Roni’s mind. Dancing together, cooking, making lol, building puzzles; the most mundane things made to be so magical because they were done together.

Roni smiles to herself at the memory of how unpleasantly she’d treated Harry in the beginning. She feels bad, of course, but it’s humorous to think about now because she was so lost at the time.

“I’m still here!” Roni exclaims, infuriated that Harry doesn’t seem as shocked about this as she does.

“You are.” Harry nods, the scrambled eggs in the frying pan sizzling under the spatula. “Did you sleep well?”

“Harry, holy fuck, how is this happening?” Roni doesn’t dare move, as if moving is going to trap her even further. She feels like the walls are closing in on her as the full extent of the situation hits her. She hadn’t allowed herself to fully feel these feelings the night before, because she hadn’t seen this as a permanent issue. But now here she is, in a year that doesn’t even feel real, with a bastard who doesn’t even seem to care about her concerns.

Harry smiles to himself. “I don’t know, pet. Honestly, I was kind of thinking that maybe you were drunk and just forgot where you were last night.”

“I wasn’t drunk, and I didn’t forget, but thank you for completely invalidating me.” Roni huffs. Stomping across the living room and plopping down onto the most uncomfortable couch she’s ever felt in her life, she figures this is an appropriate time to just pout– especially considering that Harry isn’t going to give into her panicking. “What the fuck am I supposed to do now?” She props her elbows on her knees and buries her head in her hands.

“Eat some breakfast and relax,” Harry answers. “We’ll figure this out. Would you like some tea?”

Roni smiles at the memory of her first morning here, feeling overwhelmed by the complete 180 her heart has done. At the time, she’d wanted nothing more than to go home, and she hadn’t believed Harry when he’d said they would figure it out. Now that they have, she wants nothing more than to stay here.

She makes her way into Harry’s tiny bedroom, the film of her memories continuing to roll through her mind. She had found this place so odd, so minimalistic, and she’d thought Harry was a nutjob for giving up his bed for her. She remembers helping him place the fitted sheets along the mattress, and she remembers waking up early and watching people through the small window.

Her cheeks grow hot, however, as the memory of the first time they made love in this bed plays in her head.

“Don’t do this… unless you mean it.”

Roni sees the earnestness in his eyes, and she’s never been more sure of anything in her life. She brushes the tip of her nose against his before licking her lips and pulling him in for another kiss. This kiss isn’t as elaborate as it had been moments ago, but it’s sweet, and she feels all the tension in his shoulders release.

When she pulls away, she smiles, reaching up to brush a wild strand of hair off of his forehead. She nods her head.

“I mean it.”

She chuckles, running her hand along the thin duvet of the bed and making her way to the small closet. She has to say one final goodbye to her dresses-- the ones that Harry had used his last dollars to purchase for her. The ones that had felt so funny and so foreign on her the first time she’d worn them.

They hang, untouched and cold, among the few dressier shirts that Harry owns, and Roni’s heart clenches at the thought of them hanging here forevermore. She thinks perhaps Harry should give them away, maybe to Daisy— although come to think of it, these may be far too dull for Daisy taste. Maybe Harry could sell them, make a bit of extra cash. Or maybe—

“Veronica.”

Harry’s voice from the doorway startles her out of her thoughts, and she whirls around on her heel with a jump. She hadn’t realized she was crying again (although the ache behind her eyes should have been a dead giveaway), and Harry notices her tears immediately. He doesn’t go to her, he only nods sympathetically when she laughs and gives him a shrug in surrender, as if to admit “yeah, I’m crying again, so what.”

“You alright, darling?”

She takes a slow deep breath in, savoring the smell of his little place that she’s fallen so deeply in love with, and examining it one last time before nodding and turning back to him. “I’m alright,” she says with finality. “Let’s do this.”

---------------

The beach is freezing, because of course it is, and Roni and Harry shiver as they set up their blanket on the shore. Roni reminds Harry several times that he didn’t have to do all this— he didn’t even have to come with her if he didn’t want to— but he is having none of it.

Roni shivers, wearing Harry’s heavier coat and his little cap that she’s grown so fond of, and her breath comes out in a visible puff of air.

“Can you set up the snacks and the stones and such?” Harry asks. “It’s too bloody cold for me to wait any longer on starting the fire.”

Roni nods, the thought of the warm fire cheering her up. She reaches into the picnic basket and begins sorting through the various snacks they’ve decided to bring.

Harry really had thought of everything, just to add a bit of a sense of normalcy to this whole ordeal. He’d packed some leftover cold pasta salad that they’d had from the night before, along with a bottle of chocolate milk for them to share. It was adorable watching him pack, especially when he got so excited about bringing items to make “these new treats called S’mores! They’re delicious, bunny, you’ll love them!” (Roni of course hadn’t had the heart to tell him that she was more than familiar with s’mores; not when he looked so cute explaining them to her.)

He had offered to bring candles as well, but ultimately had decided against it when he realized it was a bit windy, and starting a fire was going to be difficult enough.

As if on cue, he curses under his breath, causing Roni to giggle and offer him help; which he, of course, immediately turns down. So Roni let’s him do his thing, setting up all of the various items from the picnic basket and trying not to dwell on the finality of the entire situation.

It’s about fifteen minutes later when Harry finally has a solid fire going. They eat together, chatting casually about the weather and occasionally bringing up a few of their favorite memories over the past few weeks they’ve shared. It feels strange, when they really think about it, that their time together hasn’t actually been all that long. Both agree, albeit somewhat glumly due to the circumstances, that that’s what happens when you meet your twin flame. It happens, fast and quick and colorful, and then either softens into a comfortable glow or explodes into a million pieces, leaving the flames lost until the next lifetime in which they find each other.

Neither Roni nor Harry are quite sure where exactly on that scale their situation falls.

After their meal, they work together to clean up the leftover food, shivering and subconsciously moving their bodies closer to the fire. Roni scowls realizing how little either of them ate, and she sighs, looking out onto the dark, cold ocean.

“This feels like… like the last supper. You know like, in the Bible.” Roni scowls. “And I’m the one that’s about to betray you.”

Harry chuckles. “You’re not betraying me.”

“Well that’s what it feels like.”

“Well, don’t think of it like that,” Harry says softly. “Think of it like a romantic picnic between two lovers. I mean, that’s sort of what it is, isn’t it?”

His smile breaks Roni’s heart, but she giggles in spite of herself. “I suppose,” she says, her own words tasting like bile in her mouth. Speaking at all right now feels wrong and completely foreign, and the sense of guilt that lingers in her stomach has only intensified tenfold since this morning. She knows Harry is fully aware of the situation, and that he is prepared for what is about to happen; yet she still can’t shake the feeling that somehow she’s about to betray him. It’s like she’s looking in the face of an innocent puppy that she’s about to completely abandon-- shivering and helpless.

With that thought comes the terrible imagery of Harry packing all of this up once she’s gone. Harry-- alone and cold-- folding up the picnic blanket and the leftover food, walking soberly back to his apartment to sleep in his bed alone. The thought of him tracing the dent made by her head left on his pillow (since neither of them had bothered to make the bed this morning), or him smelling her dresses hanging in his closet, never to be worn again-- it’s all too much for Roni to bear. She lets out a long huffing sigh, accompanied by a gentle “for fuck’s sake.”

Harry barely looks up at her as he continues to set up all of the various snacks. “Hm?” he asks.

“Harry--” Roni’s voice is abrupt. “Am I… doing the right thing?”

Now, Harry does stop. He looks up at her from under his lashes slowly, as if waiting for her to say something else. He doesn’t press her, he only looks at her, and it makes her groan.

“You know,” she tries again, “Like… should I just stay? I don’t want to erase the people that I love from back home… and I definitely don’t want to erase my mom, but I can’t--” She breaks off, tears beginning to well in her eyes, “I can’t lose you.”

Harry’s voice is calm when he speaks. “Do you think you’re doing the right thing?”

“That’s why I’m asking you!” Roni wails, reaching up to wipe at her eyes.

“Well, bunny,” Harry stokes the fire a bit more, the embers dancing against the darkening sky, “You know I can’t make that decision for you.”

“Harry,” Roni sighs in frustration.

“I can’t tell you what you want to hear,” he says slowly, a gentle but sad smile tugging on the corners of his lips, “because I don’t know what you want to hear. I don’t think you do either.”

Roni wipes at her eyes once again, only to realize that it’s in vain. The tears are thick, and are beginning to flow freely down her cheeks. Harry watches her sadly, unsure of whether or not he should move.

On the one hand, he wants to go to her. He wants to take her in his arms, kiss away her tears, beg her to stay; to be his forever. But on the other hand, he knows that what his beloved Veronica needs the most right now is someone to be strong for her. And how can he do that when he’s hurting just as much? How can he hold her in his arms and be strong for her if he knows that the minute he feels her shuddering sob into his chest, he’ll break down as well?

So he stays put, frozen in place focusing his eyes intensely on one spot of the fire. There is nothing more for him to do right now.

The sound of the ocean mixed with the crackling of the fire would be such a beautiful backdrop for a romantic evening together on any other occasion. But given the circumstances, neither Harry nor Roni are feeling very romantic at present. Roni shivers, wrapping the coat tighter around her shoulders as a bitter ocean breeze rips through her.

“I can’t lose you,” Roni repeats quietly.

“You won’t,” Harry answers. “I’ll never forget you as long as I live.” When Roni doesn’t say anything, Harry scoots just a titch closer to her. “Veronica,” he says slowly. “I will never stop trying to find you. Until the day I die, I will try. I will look for you in every corner of the earth. In every lifetime. In every timeline. I will do my best to find a way to find you. I will never, ever give up.”

Roni sniffs, reaching up to wipe at her runny nose. “And what if you can’t find me?”

Harry swallows audibly. “Well,” he says slowly. “Then. I’ll wait for you in the sky.”

Roni’s throat swells, and she blinks back a few more tears, licking away the salty remnants that remain on her lips. “I want you to find me.”

“I’ll find you,” Harry reassures her. “One way or another. I will find you.”

Roni blinks at Harry, so many words hanging on the tip of her tongue but no actual voice with which to speak them; especially because she doesn’t even know where she would begin. She lets out all of the breath in her chest, reaching forward and taking his hand in hers. “I love you, Harry Styles.”

He smiles, giving her hand a squeeze and running his thumb along the back. “I love you too, Veronica Elliot.”

After a brief moment, Roni leans across the way to press a few short pecks to Harry’s lips. When she pulls away, she sighs. “I don’t want to think about it anymore,” she says, “but I’m not sure there’s much else to focus on.”

“Tell me about your father,” Harry offers.

The proposition takes Roni by surprise, and she furrows her eyebrows at Harry. “Forreal?”

“Yeah. Heard all about your mum. Heard nothing about your father.”

Roni blows out a puff of air, wondering where she should start before giving up and shrugging. “Not much to tell.”

“You mentioned he left when you were young,” Harry prompts, “but do you remember him at all?”

Roni shakes her head. “Not at all. He was gone before I was even aware that I existed.” She laughs. “From what I’m told though, he was awful. My grandma never wanted my mom to be with him. But she was… I mean, you know, she was young. And no one really listens to their parents when they’re young. Not that young at least. She thought she was in love.”

“And him?”

Roni shrugs. “He thought she was easy. Knocked her up and poof. Gone.”

Harry furrows his eyebrows. “Knocked her up?”

“Got her pregnant,” Roni giggles. “Nine months later he was gone but—“ she throws her arms up, a sort of ‘tah-dah’ movement, “— the real party arrived.”

Harry laughs, nodding his head. “Absolutely. The world’s biggest blessing came along. I’ll bet he’s sorry he missed it.”

“I doubt it,” Roni says, scrunching her toes into the sand. “Bet he hasn’t even spared a thought for my mom and I.”

Harry says nothing for a moment, only staring deep in thought at the fire and processing Roni’s story. The fire feels warm on his face, and it makes him a bit sleepy. He breathes in, low and slow through his nose before speaking again. “Shame.” He smiles up at Roni, admiring the way the glow of the fire hits her skin. “Can’t imagine doing something like that. As a man. As a father.”

Roni shrugs. “I can’t either. But, you know, it happens. I guess.”

“It shouldn’t.” Harry shakes his head. “I wouldn’t let it happen.”

“You think you would ever get married?” Roni doesn’t exactly realize the weight of her question until it’s slipped past her lips, and she almost regrets asking it. Harry hardly reacts, save for the flash of his dimple that Roni has grown to love so much. He averts his gaze, really giving some thought to his answer, then after a moment, he nods.

“Maybe. But at this point, m’not sure it’s really in the cards for me.”

Roni leans forward, genuine concern etched into her features. “Why not?”

Now he looks back at her from under his lashes. “You really want to know?”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”

He smiles sadly. “Because the woman I love is leaving me to go back to her home that’s seventy-five years in the future.”

Harry’s words hit her like a ton of bricks. Not that she was really expecting another answer, of course, but god. “Harry—”

“It’s alright though. It’s the way things have to be, you know? I wouldn’t change us. I wouldn’t change what we’ve been through.” He shrugs. “I’d change the circumstances, sure. But I’d take a thousand lifetimes of this over never meeting you. So I have to take that for what it is, don’t I?”

In any other situation, Roni would be fully aware that she’s moving far too quickly. But seeing as her time left with Harry is reduced down to merely a few more hours, she doesn’t care. “I’d marry you in a heartbeat, Harry.”

His face brightens ever so slightly. “Yeah?”

Roni nods earnestly. “In a heartbeat.”

Harry squeezes her hand softly. “Perhaps in another life.”

“And for what it’s worth--” Roni chews anxiously on her cheek, then quiets her voice. “I know my mom would have loved you. You don’t know her, so that might not mean much to you, but it’s true. You’d have her blessing before you could even ask her for it.”

“That means a lot to me.” Harry’s thumb strokes absentmindedly along the back of Roni’s hand. “I would’ve loved to meet her.”

Yet another long silence falls between the two of them, and Roni shivers when a particularly chilly ocean breeze passes through them. The movement doesn’t go unnoticed by Harry, and he smiles gently. “You cold?” When Roni nods, he immediately scoots over a bit. “Yeah? C’mere.”

Roni wastes no time in complying with his request, crawling over to him and making herself comfortable in his lap. He wraps his arms around her, rubbing up and down her arms and kissing softly at her cheeks. “Better?”

Roni lays her head on Harry’s shoulder, letting her eyes de-focus on the ocean. She doesn’t answer him verbally, electing only to nod and just enjoy his warmth.

There are a few minutes of silence between the two lovers, and each time Roni catches sight of the full moon, hanging bright and threatening over their heads, her stomach twists.

“Have I mentioned how badly I’m going to miss you?” Harry chuckles.

Roni can’t help but to giggle. Her eyes burn at the mere thought of more tears falling, but at this point she knows that not much can be done to stop them. “No, I don’t think you have,” she teases.

She tilts her head to kiss at his neck, sucking gently but with completely innocent intentions— until he shivers slightly, his breath audibly hitching.

Roni takes the nonverbal cue, trailing her lips gently and softly up his neck, and taking his earlobe in between her teeth. Harry groans, low in his throat.

“Bunny,” Harry says gently, “you don’t have to. If you don’t want to—“

“Who said I didn’t want to?” She peeks her tongue out from between her lips, rolling it just under this ear now. “Do you want to?”

He doesn’t answer her, he only hums, tilting his head to grant her easier access.

“One more,” she mumbles, angling her body so that she’s facing him more. “Please. Can’t leave you without a proper goodbye.”

Harry, once again, says nothing. He takes her hips in his hands and pulls her further onto his lap, angling her so that she’s straddling him now. He grins up at her, the ocean breeze whipping his curls over his eyes. “God,” he sighs, leaning up to kiss at her neck, “I love you.”

Roni hums, basking in the attention he’s giving her neck and beginning a gentle roll of her hips against his. She turns her head to catch his lips with her own, smiling against the taste of him she loves so much. As he parts his lips, tracing her own with his tongue, it feels different than all the times before. He’s kissing her the exact way she likes, but it’s sad now. Slow, as if he’s taking his time in order to remember every single detail about her lips.

There’s a wordless conversation occuring between the two of them as they lick, slow and gentle, into one another’s mouths. Roni reaches up to cup at Harry’s cheek, mindful of her cold fingertips and giggling to herself when Harry shivers at her touch. He hums, leaning further into her kiss and holding her lower back tenderly in his own.

They stay like this, just kissing and enjoying one another’s warmth, before Harry’s hands begin trailing up her back. He teases his fingertips along her neck, playing with her hair before lifting the cap gently from her head. He allows it to plop down ungracefully in the sand before guiding his hand up fully into her hair.

She can feel his fingers curling around the hair at the base of her neck before he tugs a bit, successfully pulling her head back. She moans when he attaches his lips to her pulse in her throat.

It’s sexy, yes, but he takes his time with it, inhaling her scent as he kisses up her supple skin. Her lashes flutter and she catches a glimpse of him out of the corner of her eye; eyes closed, brows furrowed in concentration, as if he wants absolutely nothing to draw his attention away from Roni’s entire being.

Harry is more lost in his thoughts than he intends to be, but he can’t help it. He’s wanting to remember everything about Roni, her taste, her smell, every curve of her jaw and her chest. His hand scratches lovingly down her back before trailing along her sensitive sides and up to her breasts-- so tightly concealed beneath her many layers of warmth, but still so pert and delicious.

“Veronica,” he moans, low in his throat and more of sadness than of pleasure, “I love—“

“Don’t,” Roni says, her eyes burning with moisture. She lowers her head, touching her nose to his in an attempt to raise his face. “Don’t do that. Not right now.” She lets out a shuddering breath, trying to refrain from breaking down. “Please, I can’t—“

“I love you.” He is insistent, wanting her to be sure that his words are true. “I fucking love you.”

“Please,” Roni cries, her voice cracking. “I can’t—“

“We have to—“

“I know but—“

“I fucking love you.”

It’s back and forth for the next few minutes, lips ghosting one another’s and noses brushing— as if breathing one another in and out, as if trying to exist as one person. Roni feels the dampness pooling between her legs, and with every roll of her hips she can feel Harry hardening.

All too soon it becomes quick and hurried, even a bit sloppy, as Roni slips her panties down her legs and Harry works to get himself unbuttoned. It’s far too cold to fully undress themselves, they’re both aware of this, but they can’t seem to move quickly enough. She straddles his cock, and they move so quickly he misses her hole the first time. She giggles, but it’s cut short when Harry attaches his lips to her neck and sucks, guiding himself inside of her gently.

“Fuck, always so tight,” he moans immediately, “holy fuck.”

They take a moment for Roni to adjust before she sinks further down, letting out a sinful moan that echoes one of Harry’s. On any other occasion, the two would be far more mindful of their sounds, considering the fact that they’re in public. But right now it doesn’t matter, especially with the way that Harry sinks his teeth into Roni’s neck, and the way she rolls her hips against his.

Roni gasps when he hits the spongy spot deep inside of her. Her head tilts back as she lets out one of the most pornographic moans she’s ever made. Harry takes this opportunity and hooks his fingers into the neckline of her dress, pulling it down and attaching his lips to the swell of her left breast. He sucks until his teeth meet her skin, and then he bites, causing her to let out a little cry. He’s marking her, and she loves it.

“Harry—“ she breathes, fingers frantically pulling at his hair.

He nips at the red little mark he’s left behind, then licks at it gently to soothe the sting. She hums, tugging at the curls on the base of his neck and shuddering, partly due to the wind and partly due to a particularly delicious thrust.

Lowering her head to rest on Harry’s shoulder, she inhales his scent, shifting her weight a bit so as to not get so easily tired out by her work. He wraps his arms impossibly tighter around her lower back, seemingly trying to get her closer to his body, and Roni groans, loudly, sinking her teeth gently into his shoulder.

She almost misses it when he lets out a soft cry.

In fact, at first she thinks she’s imagining it. But when the movement of his hips slows, and his breathing becomes more ragged than it was before, she stops moving and pulls away to look at his face.

Harry’s eyes are shut, and in the dim firelight she can make out the dampness of his cheeks. His lips are curled into a frown, and he shakes his head the minute he realizes that Roni has noticed. She stops the rolling of her hips and reaches for his face, cupping his cheek in her hand.

He’s sobbing, and he can’t even stop himself.

“Harry,” she says quietly, “Don’t--”

“I’m sorry,” he says, reaching up to wipe at his eyes. “Fuck, I’m sorry, Veronica.”

Now, Roni feels tears well up in her own eyes as she strokes her thumb along Harry’s cheekbone. “Don’t apologize,”’ she says through a whisper. He doesn’t even hear her as he lets out another quiet sob before speaking again.

“I love you. So so so much. I don’t know if I can do this.”

Roni doesn’t even try to stop her own tears from falling now, and she squirms a bit with Harry still inside of her. “Do what?” she whispers.

Harry shakes his head, still not looking in her eyes. “Live without you. I’m not strong enough to lose you.”

“Harry,” Roni cries, using her hand to lift Harry’s face and forcing him to look at her. “We don’t have a choice.”

He lets out a shaky breath, trying to stabilize his chest. “How can I go on when the person I love more than life isn’t isn’t with me anymore?”

Roni scans his face, feeling at a complete loss for words for the first time this evening. She shakes her head. “I don’t know,” she says through a sob. “But we’re going to have to figure it out.”

“Jesus.” Harry wipes at his eyes again, pulling Roni into him and pressing a few wet kisses to her neck. He lingers for a moment with his lips to her skin, and Roni can physically feel her heart breaking in half.

“I didn’t think this was going to be so unbearable,” Harry whispers. “I knew it would be hard but… fuck.”

“Look at me,” Roni says, pulling away and trying to gently guide Harry’s face up again. She offers him the most reassuring smile she can muster, but somehow it doesn’t help. “It’s going to be okay. Hm? We’re going to be okay.”

Roni cups his cheek yet again, and Harry leans into her affectionate touch with closed eyes. She watches him, a lump in her throat so large she’s feeling nauseous, and the reality of their situation hitting her for the hundredth time this evening.

“We’re going to be okay,” she repeats. “You have to promise me you’ll keep going. Keep trying. Live your life. And maybe… in another lifetime--”

Harry cuts her off then with a kiss, passionate and gentle all at once. He allows his hands to trail down her back. He grips her hips tightly, rolling her against him and groaning low in his throat at the feeling of her walls still around his prick.

She gasps, not at all expecting to feel him as deep as she does, and they share sloppy, hurried kisses as they finish what they’d started.

It’s messy and slow, but it’s deep. They’re both crying as they move together, lips hungrily exploring whatever area of skin they can get to. Roni bites down somewhere on Harry’s neck and he hisses, knowing he’s going to have an ugly mark there when morning comes. Harry grips Roni’s hips so tightly they begin to ache, and yet she still finds herself wishing he would hold her tighter.

Minutes later, Harry cums. Roni doesn’t, but she doesn’t care. She doesn’t much feel like an orgasm right now, as strange and as out of character as that seems to her; rather, she just wants to stay like this, with the most intimate part of him tucked into the deepest, most private part of her body. She buries her face in his neck, and he wraps his arms impossibly tighter around her torso.

No words are spoken between the two lovers. No words are necessary, really. They just hold one another, the sound of the crashing waves mirroring their own inner turmoil as they hold one another and cry-- unabashedly and unfiltered.

It feels good, in a strange therapeutic sort of way, to be like this. To be crying this hard together, completely vulnerable both physically and emotionally, and as hard as it is to grasp that these are their last memories together, it lifts the tiniest bit of weight off of both of their hearts.

They aren’t sure how long they’ve been sitting like this when Roni finally makes an effort to move, her sobs quieted now to a few little gasps here and there. Harry instantly misses her warmth the second she lifts off of him, and he reaches for her hand like a little boy.

Roni smiles sadly at him, giggling and offering him a pathetic shrug as if to say, “well, anyway.” She gives his hand a squeeze, running her thumb along the back of it. Her chest flutters as she takes a breath.

“You promise to try and find me?” She doesn’t anticipate her voice coming out as hoarse and as sad as it does.

Harry hates how final this feels, and he shivers-- partly from the cold, but mostly because his body is exhausted from how hard he’s been weeping and how devastated he’s been all day. Seeing Roni like this, looking at him as if he’s her only hope in the world right now, absolutely crushes him.

Truth be told, he’s not feeling optimistic about being able to find her. And if Roni’s honest, neither is she. But the prospect of reuniting some day, sooner rather than later, seems to be the last string of hope that the two can hold on to together. So for both of their sakes, they know they have to put on brave faces.

Harry raises their clasped hands to his lips, and kisses each one of Roni’s knuckles individually-- taking extra care around the mood ring on her finger. She bites her lip, and Harry knows another wave of tears is incoming. He offers her his best smile, as optimistic as he can be, and speaks.

“I promise, sweet girl. I promise.”

---

Harry wakes hours later from a restless and uncomfortable sleep when he feels a stirring beside him. He flutters his lashes open and remembers, all too quickly, the reason he’s here.

Roni sits up, stiff and dazed beside him, staring unwaveringly at the ocean with confused eyes. Harry’s heart sinks to the pit of his stomach as he realizes the inevitable— this is it.

He reaches forward to gently touch her arm but quickly decides against it, not wanting to ruin her one chance at getting home. He instead watches her with bated breath, waiting to see what she does.

“Veronica,” he whispers. “You alright, honey?”

She doesn’t respond. In fact, she doesn’t even look at him. She digs her hand into the blanket beneath them to help prop herself up and onto her feet. Harry moves with her, prepared to catch her when she stumbles a bit. He watches her intently, wondering what she’s going to do.

“Darling,” he says slowly, “Veronica… hey—“

She takes a slow step forward, hesitates, then takes another. And another. And then she’s walking towards the freezing cold waves lapping up against the shore. Harry panics. Is this how this is supposed to go?

“Veronica wait!” He speaks more urgently this time, stepping quickly to follow behind her. “Hey, wait a second, honey—”

Roni stumbles, almost in a drunken state not much different from the first time Harry ever saw her. She really is going, and he knows he shouldn’t stop her. But the waves seem violent, and it makes him more anxious than he already is.

“Veronica,” Harry chokes out, realizing now that he’s crying. “Honey, no, no, don’t go-- not like this… not yet… I’m-I’m not--”

“Let her go,” comes a voice, gentle and melodic behind Harry.

He turns around, no longer trying to conceal the tears in his eyes, and is shocked to see Violet, the mysterious and mystical fortune teller, standing there. Despite the cold, all she has wrapped around her dress is a shawl, and she doesn’t even seem fazed.

“She will be okay,” Violet continues, taking a gentle step towards him. “You have to let her go.”

“She’ll drown.” It’s the only thing Harry can think to say, but it’s not what he wants to say at all. He doesn’t really know what he wants to say at all, actually. His thoughts are running a mile a minute and his heart is aching.

Violet smiles knowingly at him. “She will not drown,” she says. “She will go peacefully back to where she belongs.”

Harry sniffs, a salty tear rolling down his cheek and getting caught in the corner of his mouth. “You promise?” He sounds pathetic, his voice thick and cracking, but he doesn’t even care.

Violet nods. “You have my word.”

Harry glances back towards Roni, who is slowly making her way further into the water. His stomach is in knots. All he wants is to run to her. Has he said everything he needed to say? He’s told her how much he loves her, but does she really know? Has he wasted his last day with her?

As if reading his mind, Violet closes the space between the two of them. She raises a comforting and gentle hand to his back, and he turns slowly back to her. “You did everything necessary.” She speaks quietly, looking straight into Harry’s eyes. “You gave her exactly what she needed. She will never forget you as long as she lives.”

Harry’s tears are flowing freely now, and his face is hot. The blanket previously wrapped around him is long forgotten on the sandy shore, but it doesn’t even matter. He welcomes the cold bitterly, and shakes his head as he watches Roni wade into the sea.

“What are you even doing here?” He asks, sounding a bit more angry than intended. “Hm? Have you been watching us?”

Violet remains calm, despite his accusations. “I just figured you might need someone here with you when the time came.” She takes a deep breath. “And I wanted to see the girl off. I’ve taken a liking to her as well.”

The two watch Roni stumble deeper into the ocean, completely unaware of her own actions. Violet hums, low in her throat. “To answer your question though, no. I wasn’t watching you. I just got here.”

“How did you know we’d be here then? And when?” Harry glances back at Roni, who is now up to her waist. She must be freezing, and Harry wants nothing more than to go to her and stop her.

“Was I not the one who told you to do this?” A bitter wind whips through Violet’s hair as she turns to face the sea as well. “I knew I would come up on you two eventually. Besides, this is the exact moment the moon is at her fullest. Of course Roni is going right now.”

Harry let’s out a pathetic and completely unintentional sob, his emotions getting the better of him as a panic attack rises in his stomach. “Fuck,” he says, then with growing intensity, “Fuck!” He kicks the sand, ignoring the resistance it gives him, then turns desperately back to Violet. “Does she know I love her? Does she know—“ He can’t catch his breath, and voice is loud. “Does she know I’m here watching her go? Jesus, I can’t—can’t do this, I- I mean I didn’t think it would be this fucking hard, Violet. Can I stop her? Fucking hell, can I stop her?!”

Violet takes a step towards Harry, who’s jaw is now trembling in synchronicity with his shaking hands. She puts a reassuring and calm hand on his shoulder. “It’s over, Harry,” she says. “You must let her go.”

Harry reaches up, running a hand through his sweaty, messy hair, glancing frantically from Roni—who is in the water up to her mid back now— back to Violet, who now seems worried about him. He lets out a wail, moving like he’s going to run to Roni, but Violet is quicker; wrapping her arms around him and holding him back.

He struggles against her a bit, eventually falling to his knees in the sand. Violet drops with him, gently holding him securely upright while comfortingly scratching at his back. She keeps a watchful eye on Roni; as does Harry, only his vision is nearly completely blurred. He wails, punching a little mound of sand beside his knees and using his free hand to wipe at his eyes. “Goddammit,” he mutters. “Fucking goddammit. This was a mistake.”

“Harry,” Violet says urgently, sounding more human than she has in the entirety of the time Harry has known her. “Listen to me, it wasn’t a mistake. I need you to breathe.”

He looks at Violet desperately, shaking his head. “I should have begged her. I could have made her stay. I fucking could have made her stay, Violet. I shouldn’t--” He gasps for air between sobs, wiping at his nose with the back of his hand. “Fuck, I shouldn’t have let her go.”

“Yes you should have,” Violet reassures him. “This is the right thing. Think of her mother. Think of her life.”

Harry watches Roni, who is in past her neck now, and he tries to swallow down his panic. He watches her sink further and further, knowing in his logical mind that she’s completely safe. He blinks a few tears out of his eyes, his sweaty hair on his forward moving back and forth with each attempt to catch his breath, and then turns to Violet. “I love her, Violet.” His voice is desperate and pathetic, and he hates himself for it.

Violet looks as though even she herself, in all her powerful glory, wants to cry as well. She nods, wiping a tear that has made its way down to Harry’s chin. “I know you do,” she says softly. “I’m so sorry, Harry.”

The two friends turn back to the sea, and Harry feels a sinking finality when he realizes he can no longer see Roni’s head. His breathing slows just a tick, and he lets out a shaky breath— realizing for the first time that it’s coming out in a hot cloud around his mouth. “Is she gone?” He asks quietly.

He doesn’t wait for an answer. He knows the answer. His head falls, chin to chest, and he holds his face in his hands.

Violet says nothing, she only holds Harry in his desperation, breathing against him to try and subtly slow his breathing and calm him down. His sobs are heartbreaking, but they’re quieter now; less frantic. He cries until his throat feels thick and raw, and then it becomes somewhat silent. He isn’t sure how long he’s been there, and he almost starts to feel bad for Violet, who just sits there with him, patient as ever.

She doesn’t seem to mind, of course, she just rubs her hand up and down his back and holds him in the most comforting way she can manage.

After what feels like ages, he raises his hot, wet face to look at her. Her face is sad, but comforting. She offers him a faint, sympathetic smile.

“Will you help me?” Harry asks.

Violet cocks her head to the side. “Help you with what, Harry?”

“Look for her. Find a way. I don’t know.”

Violet’s face changes as she considers what he’s asking, taking in a deep breath and taking her time with her answer. She glances out at the ocean, which has somehow grown impossibly more calm since Roni’s disappearance. Finally, after a moment, she hums.

“You have to be prepared for any outcome, Harry.” She speaks sternly, as if to a child. “You don’t know if you have the gift—“

“I have to try.” He cuts her off, shaking his head and speaking through a throat that feels thick and raw. “I have to try.”

Violet scans his face, blinking slowly as she considers what he’s saying. “And are you prepared for what would happen should you fail?”

“I don’t care about that,” he says quickly. “I don’t care. Because what happens if I’m successful? What if I do have the gift? Hm? Then what?”

“I don’t believe it’s that simple, Harry.” Violet sighs. “I don’t get the sense that you have it.”

“But I have to try.” Harry emphasizes his words. “And if you won’t help me, then I’ll find a way myself.”

He rises to his feet and faces the sea, already beginning unbuttoning his shirt as if he’s about to undress and follow his darling Roni. Violet stands just as quickly, making her way over to him.

“Harry, Harry!” she says quickly, reaching forward to stop him. “Stop.”

He turns to Violet, and it’s the first time she notices how puffy his eyes are. She sees how determined he is, how absolutely heartbroken, and it hurts her own heart. She’s never been in love, although she’s helped many people who have been. She does understand connections like this, and although she unfortunately doesn’t get the sense that Harry is someone equipped with the gift of time travel, she knows he’s not going to give up any time soon. Not until he knows for sure.

So she sighs.

“I’ll help you,” she says. “But it’s going to take work.” She rubs his arm comfortingly. “And time. You can’t go right now.”

“But I can go? Eventually?” He looks at her with hope in his eyes, reminiscent of a small child, and it makes Violet feel for him even more.

“I can’t promise you that,” she says. “I wish I could.”

Harry looks out at the sea, one last time, then wraps Violet in his arms. It’s the first time all evening he’s reciprocated her comforting embrace, and he can feel her smile as she hugs him back.

Violet isn’t sure how long she holds him, and she knows he’s still crying by the way his back trembles every now and again. When he finally pulls away, it’s with a thankful smile. He groans and laughs at himself, reaching up to wipe at his eyes. “Sorry,” he giggles, “must look a mess.”

“You look fine, darling.” Violet gives his shoulder a reassuring squeeze before nodding her head towards the setup previously used by him and Roni. “Come along, then. I’ll help you get this cleaned up so you can get home and get yourself a proper night’s sleep.”

---------------

There’s a buzzing in Roni’s ears, and her hands feel as though they’re vibrating. It comes after an intense, icy feeling in her veins, coursing throughout her entire being then fading all at once. She feels out of breath, but her heart is pounding slower than usual.

She’s somewhere between sleep and consciousness, and she recognizes this feeling in the back of her mind. The blackness behind her eyes somehow grows brighter and brighter with each passing second, as colorful memories flash far too quickly for her to make them out individually. At one moment, she’s a child again. At another, she’s at her mother’s funeral. And at another still, she’s graduating high school, waving out to her grandparents and Oliver in the front row. These specific instances don’t evoke any strong feelings in her one way or another, yet somewhere inside they stir something up.

A vision of herself, as an old woman, flashes behind her eyes, and although in her logical brain she knows that she isn’t old yet, she feels as though she’s lived that moment every second of every day.

The memories get brighter and brighter, buzzing loudly in her ear, and her body feels detached from her soul as she’s suddenly surrounded by nothing but white light.

Roni isn’t even sure when she’s opened her eyes, but all of her thoughts have quieted instantly. There is absolutely nothing surrounding her except white. She is completely alone, but it isn’t frightening by any means. In fact it feels rather peaceful. She presses forward, taking a step towards nothing in particular, and her legs feeling strangely weak as they carry her on.

Her heart feels heavy in her chest as she walks, beginning to regain a sense of consciousness while remaining absolutely at peace. She remembers that she’s traveling through time, yes, but why? Where is she going?

Your mind accepts this absolutely. It is 9:30am on June 16th, 1985. You have travelled back in time. Soon, you will open your eyes---

A voice that sounds familiar to her-- is it her own?-- catches her attention, and a memory comes to her mind like an electric shock. June 16th, 1985… what’s significant about that?

-into the hallway of the home you share with your mother, Tanya Rachel Elliot, and you will walk downstairs to find her cooking-

She smells something, distant and faint, but it isn’t the blueberry pancakes she hears the voice describing. Instead, it smells like… a house? A bedroom she’s familiar with. Who’s bedroom?

It comes to her quickly, her mind filling with images of Oliver, her boyfriend, at a New Year’s Eve party. The voice— her own voice— states that it’s 1985. Her conscious mind knows that it’s almost 2000.

Like a slap to the face, Roni remembers Harry. She remembers the first night she met him, when she was cold and disoriented in the streets of New York. She remembers falling in love with him, quicker than anything she’s ever experienced, and then her heart aches at the memory of leaving him. Knowing why she’s here, and how she’s going back to the modern world.

“Roni,” she hears a voice in the distance, soft and feminine and familiar, and Roni turns on her heel in her dreamlike state. She doesn’t see anyone, but she knows she recognizes that voice.

“Veronica,” it comes again, and Roni blinks in the bright light trying to find the source. Her mind is foggy, but she knows the voice. She knows she does, but she can’t quite put her finger on it.

“Veronica, darling.”

Through the fog in her eyes, she makes out a figure— far, far away, but moving towards her somewhat quickly. It’s a familiar outline, even if she can’t see the details of the person’s face. The closer she gets she realizes it’s a woman, and Roni tries to blink her eyes into some clarity.

The closer the woman gets, the more things start to make sense in Roni’s brain. The woman steps into focus, and it hits Roni like a ton of bricks.

“Mom?” She whispers, afraid that if she speaks any louder she’ll ruin any type of illusion.

The woman-- her mother-- nods gently as she comes into clear view, now only a few mere feet away from her. “It’s me, baby.”

Roni takes a moment, hardly daring to move until she can’t take it any longer. She lunges, awkwardly, running to close the gap between them and falling ungracefully into her mother’s arms.

This moment is one that she’s imagined so many times before in her life, yet she never could have dreamt how good it would feel. Her mother wraps her arms around Roni tightly, kissing her head, as Roni bawls like a baby.

“Is it really you?” Roni asks. “Are you really here?”

“I’m here, my sweet girl. I’m right here.”

Roni hardly hears her mother’s words, she just wraps her arms impossibly tighter around the older woman, as if scared that she’ll slip right from her fingers without warning. “Mom,” she sobs, “I’ve missed you so much.”

“Oh, baby,” Tanya coos. “I’m with you every day.”

Tanya pulls away slightly, despite Roni’s tugging at her, and wipes Roni’s eyes with her thumbs. “Don’t cry, my love.”

Roni lets out a wet laugh, reaching up to wipe at her snotty nose with the back of her hand. She hasn’t seen her mother in fifteen years, and she knows she must look an absolute mess right now. “Sorry,” she says, “I’m just… I can’t believe it’s you.”

“I know, Peanut.” Tanya smiles a smile that is so absurdly kind; a smile that Roni loved being on the receiving end of throughout her entire childhood. “It feels so wonderful to hold you in my arms again.”

Tanya was never a crier, so Roni suspects she won’t be now in the afterlife either. Still, the look on her face tells Roni all that she needs to know, and it’s beautiful. Roni sighs, leaning into Tanya’s hold on her face and staring at her mother eagerly, as if one blink will send her vanishing away again. She reaches up to place her hand on top of her mothers, and notices Tanya’s attention briefly shift.

Tanya squints, then laughs-- a surprised, tinkling sort of noise-- as she removes her hand from Roni’s face. She takes Roni’s hand in her own then and thumbs at the mood ring on her finger. “You’ve kept my ring!”

“Of course!” Roni feels like an overly excitable little girl again, who’s about to overshare about today’s lesson after school. “Of course I did!”

“It’s pink,” Tanya observes. She smiles warmly. “It was always pink with you.”

“It was mostly pink when I was around you,” Roni says. “Oh god, mom, I have so much to tell you.”

Tanya smiles knowingly. “Tell me. I’m all ears.”

“I don’t even know where to begin,” Roni says, through a wet and tearful laugh. “I guess… I mean, first of all, where the hell am I?”

“Where do you think you are?” Tanya’s eyes sparkle mischievously, but her words only make Roni panic slightly.

“Am I… dead?”

Tanya giggles. “No, my love. You aren’t dead. You’re in the between.”

“The…. between?”

“You have been here before,” Tanya explains. “Between timelines. Between time itself. You passed through here when you first traveled back. Of course, you weren’t quite sure of what you were doing, so it may be a blur in your memory.”

Roni tries her hardest to think back to the night she arrived with Harry. It is a blur, but it comes back to her faintly. Lots of stumbling, lots of white light.

She cocks her head to the side. “Were you there that night? Or… I guess, here?”

“I was,” Tanya says, nodding. “I watched you. I tried to reach out, but whatever it was that was calling to you— a soul tie, a connection, whatever— was much stronger than I. So I did my best to just guide you to it.”

“Oh.” Roni processes her mother’s words, marveling at the fact that her twin flame connection with Harry had been that strong that she hadn’t even been able to stop here and speak to her mother. “I see.”

Tanya smiles that ever knowing smile. “Tell me about them,” she says softly.

“What?”

“The person. Your calling.” Tanya takes Roni’s hand in her own. “They must have done a number on you, baby.”

Roni sighs, unsure of where to even begin, but instantly feeling touched just by looking at her mother’s sweet face. She wants to start crying again, but she refuses to let herself. Her mother stays patient, not pressuring Roni to speak until she’s ready.

And with a deep breath, she launches right into it.

She tells her mother everything; about how she was trying to go back in time to save her, about how Harry had saved her that night, about how she tried to stay strong but ended up falling head over heels for him. It’s difficult recounting everything, especially because it feels so fresh in her own mind, and as hard as she’s working to conceal her tears, she can’t stop them from falling down her cheeks.

And Tanya only listens. Kind and understanding, Tanya listens. She doesn’t interrupt, she only nods every now and then, giving Roni the most sympathetic eyes in the world.

Roni laughs, cries, and every emotion in between as she tells her mother the entire story. And at the end of it, her mother wraps her in a comforting embrace while she tries to get her tears under control.

“My sweet girl,” Tanya coos, scratching Roni’s back comfortingly. “My sweet, brave girl.”

When Roni pulls away, confusion clouds her features. She searches her mother’s face for a wordless answer to a question she has yet to ask.

“Mom?” She says through a shaky breath, “Am I… I mean, did I do the right thing?”

Tanya brushes Roni’s hair off of her face, coming through it lovingly with her fingers. “Do you think you did?”

Roni groans. “God, you sound just like him. I just want to know if I made the right decision, but I have no way of gauging that, you know? Like how do I know?”

Tanya laughs. “To tell you the truth, my love, I really think you did. In fact, I can promise that you did.”

“But... Harry…” Roni trails off in a sigh. “I just want to know that he’ll be okay. You know?”

Tanya nods understandingly. “I know.”

“So is there… I don’t know, like, a way? For you to watch over him? I don’t know how the afterlife works.”

Tanya giggles at Roni’s words. “I’ll check in on him, sweetheart. If that’s what you want.”

“And can you—“ Roni sniffs, willing herself not to start sobbing again. “Can you tell him I love him?”

“You love him?” It isn’t accusatory, and her tone isn’t really all that shocked either. It’s a simple question, but Roni’s insides flip.

“I do,” she says decidedly. “So, so much.”

Tanya’s next question takes Roni by surprise. “And Oliver?”

“You know about Oliver? I didn’t start dating him until after you—“

“I know,” Tanya says calmly. “I’m with you always.”

“Oh.” Roni blows a puff of air out from her lips, reaching up to fidget with her hair. “Well. I love Oliver, but it’s not… I mean…. Harry is…” She trails off, looking helplessly at her mother, as if Tanya will be able to fill in the blanks.

Tanya only smiles. “Your twin flame. I know.”

Roni laughs in disbelief. “It’s weird, huh?” She asks. “How does that even happen?”

“How could you possibly travel back to 1925?” Tanya laughs. “Some things are not meant for us to understand, my darling.” She gives Roni’s shoulder a playful squeeze before continuing. “Anyway. I like Oliver. He’s a good kid. He takes good care of you. But Harry,” she smiles knowingly, “Harry set your soul on fire. This I know for sure.”

“I can’t help but feel like I did the wrong thing,” Roni sighs. “Even though I know I didn’t. I jst couldn’t erase you, you know? And everyone back home that I love—”

“You don’t have to explain yourself. Not to me. You did the right thing.”

Roni sighs, eyes scanning the great white abyss surrounding them as she tries to figure out what on earth to say. “So now what?” She tries after a moment. “Where do I even go from here?”

“Back home,” Tanya says, a comforting hand trailing up Roni’s arm. “To live a long and full life. To grow old, and to have children of your own. To stop living in the past.” The last bit is said more pointedly, and Roni blinks through her misty eyes back at her mother.

“I’m not—“

“Veronica,” Tanya says slowly, “darling, look at all you’ve had. My god, look at all you’ve done.”

“I would trade it all to have you back, mom.” Roni reaches for her mother’s hand and squeezes. “All of it. Every bit.”

Tanya smiles. “I know, sweetheart. I know. But I am gone. You have done everything you could have done to bring me back. It was not in fate's design.”

Roni shakes her head, not wanting to believe her mother’s words but knowing she’s right. “But where do I go?” she repeats, quieter this time.

Tanya takes a big deep breath in through her nose. “I told you. You must go on and do even more incredible things with your life.” She laughs softly through her nose, and if Roni had blinked she’d have missed the moisture forming in her mother’s eyes. “I am so, so proud of who you are, Veronica.”

“I don’t want to go on without you, mom.”

“You will never have to. You never have before. I’m always going to be with you.”

“But now I have to like… go into the world again. The modern world, I mean. Knowing that I’ve seen you again, and that I’ve been in love. Real actual love. How can I just... go back?”

“You don’t have to go back, sweetheart. Not like that. You don’t have to be stuck. Life is far too short to be living it in a way that doesn’t make you happy. Do you understand? Do not let it pass you by.”

“But… but you-- and Harry--”

“Stop living in the past, Peanut. Worrying, and not allowing yourself to move forward, will never add any years to your life. It didn’t mine.”

Roni’s shoulders visibly soften, and she blinks up at her mother. She wants to take in all of her mothers advice, but mostly she just wants to drink in as much of her mother’s presence as possible. “I love you, mom.”

“I love you too, Veronica. More than you know.”

In the distance, Roni begins to hear a soft commotion. She looks around, trying to figure out where on earth the noise could be coming from (considering that there is nothing around her except for a great white nothingness). It starts out dull, a faint buzzing that gradually grows louder. She turns back to her mother, only to be met with a sad smile.

“Our time is almost up here,” Tanya explains, and Roni’s heart begins to swell with panic.

“What? No, I’m not ready—“

“You are ready, dear. You are as ready as you’ll ever be.”

The commotion grows louder, and Roni shakes her head. “But I don’t know what to do!”

“Yes you do.” Tanya nods. “You always have.” She reaches forward and wraps Roni into a tight hug, giving her a squeeze and pressing her lips to her head. “Remember what I told you. I’ll always be with you. So will he.”

“I don’t know what to do!” Roni wails again, her puffy eyes aching with pressure as more tears begin flowing. “I don’t know where to go!”

“The answers will come,” Tanya says, pulling away from Roni slowly. “What is meant to be will be. Some things you cannot change, but what is meant to be will always find a way.”

“Why weren’t you meant to stay with me then?” Roni cries, beginning to struggle to be heard over the buzzing noise of an invisible crowd. “To watch me grow up? To help me through life? Why did you have to go?”

“Everything has a reason,” Tanya says, stepping backwards from Roni. “Some reasons, we are never meant to know.”

“Mom—“

“I love you, Peanut.” Tanya continues to step backwards from Roni, and Roni tries to lunge for her. Her legs, however, feel like molasses, as if she’s suddenly dreaming and she can’t seem to move fast enough to where she needs to be.

“Don’t go yet!” Roni calls. “I’m not ready!”

“You are ready.” Roni can barely hear her mother now, and it seems that the further she steps away from her, the louder the buzzing becomes. “Don’t forget what I’ve told you.”

“But mom—“

In a flash, Tanya seems as far away as she can possibly get. Roni panics, turning around as quickly as her legs will let her, in search for some kind of answer. A door, perhaps, or at least the source of the deafening noise she’s hearing.

She calls for her mother, feeling desperately like a child who’s lost in a supermarket. She feels hot tears rolling down her face, and she defiantly wipes them away with the back of her wrist.

“Mom!”

The noise is ringing in Roni’s ears now, and her body feels fuzzy and foreign as she looks for an answer. She raises her palms to her ears to try and drown the noise out, but she can’t— it’s too deep within her head. “Fuck,” she cries, squeezing her eyes shut.

“Veronica,” comes her mother’s voice, as clear in her head as if it were her own consciousness. “Darling.”

Roni’s chest grows heavy as she wills the noise to stop, please; and all the while images of Harry flash in her head. Her mother’s voice comes again, and is the last thing she hears before everything goes completely black.

“Open your eyes.”

#Harry Styles #Harry #One Direction #Harry Styles fanfiction #Harry fanfiction #One direction fanfiction #fanfiction #Harry Styles AU #Harry AU #One Direction AU #AU #Harry Styles fluff #Harry fluff #One Direction fluff #fluff #Harry Styles smut #Harry smut #One Direction smut #smut

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btsslowburnfic · 4 years

Text

-The Arrangement- Chapter 1

Summary: Desperately in need of money, you answered the questionable add. AKA-Arranged marriage AU featuring Y/N and Yoongi.

Chapter summary: Let’s meet our lovely [Y/N]. Every good story starts somewhere. Buckle up for the next few months babes <3

Chapter 1

“Nope, sorry, I have to get to my other job.” You politely declined getting after-work drinks with your colleagues like usual. It was nice of them to still invite you even though you never said yes.

You excused yourself to the company restroom. Out with the office worker, in with the bartender. You switched shirts, put your hair up in a ponytail, and applied heavier make-up. You'd switch out your skirt when you got to the club. As dumb and gross as it was, you always made more money when you wore your questionably short shorts. Oh well, money is money.

You sent a quick text to your brother to make sure he and your sister got to your aunt's apartment and then headed for the station. Ok. How much money do I need to make tonight? You asked yourself as you opened the banking app. You mentally calculate the amount needed to feed your siblings, pay for the bus, and utilities. Ugh Maybe Park Minho will let me stay for him tonight. He usually wanted to get out of work early to go hang out with his friends. You would be ok this week if you stopped taking the bus and ate more ramen and less real food. You sighed. You were so tired.

You walked through the black glass doors of Club Tokki. There were only a few customers right now and you immediately went to see if anyone had made coffee. Work coffee=free coffee. Luckily for you, Lisa, the woman who worked the day shift almost always needed an extra dose of afternoon caffeine and there was still enough for a cup.

“Hey doll!” Lisa greeted you. “Here, I brought some milk in as well,” she said as she poured the coffee for you.

“You are a lifesaver. Thank you so much.” You gratefully took the mug, warming your hands.

“No problem, do you need me to do anything before I leave? I’m going to close out with those two groups first.” She asked as she rinsed off some pint glasses.

You assessed the bar looking to see what you might need over the next few hours. “Yeah, ask the bar-back to get two more bottles of Goose and a bottle of Crown. We usually go through those on Wednesdays. And maybe cut a few limes and lemons. Thanks.” You took the coffee with you to the small office and finished changing clothes. Lisa was a student so she shared your need for thrifty living, coffee, and work. You didn’t have many friends, but you knew you could count on Lisa for caffeine and getting the bar prepped.

You walked back out to the bar, mentally preparing yourself for the night ahead. In a few minutes people like your office coworkers would stream in, treating each other to after work drinks, socializing, and networking. You used to wonder if your circumstances were different if you would be the type of person who went out after work and socialized with their colleagues. You had come to the realization that “no” you wouldn’t. You would probably go home and sleep. Maybe read. You sighed and shimmied behind the bar as Lisa started to count down the drawer. "Alright, I asked the barback for the alcohol and there's 2 cups of lines and lemons."

"Thanks a lot babe. See you tomorrow." you waved at her and started to move stuff around to where you liked it.

"Happy money making." she smiled and headed out.

As predicted about half an hour later, office workers start to show up and the bar is slowly starting to fill up. Club Tokki is known for its laid back vibe so it's mostly beers and "and" drinks. Whisky and coke. Vodka and soda. Occasionally there were some younger girls here that ordered the more complicated drinks. But you got those out as well; this wasn't the first bar you'd ever worked at, just the latest incarnation. And just like that, the night starts to speed up. Minho arrives two hours into your shift for the after-dinner rush.

“Just in time dude,” you greeted him as he walked behind the bar.

“What do you need?” He asked as he clocks in for the night.

“The bar is caught up if you want to go check section one. Shinhye has the rest of the floor.” You instructed him and used this opportunity to catch up on cleaning dishes. You caught one of the guys at the end of the bar staring at you. He was definitely good looking, and stood out with his expensive suit, silver hair, and strong facial features. Whatever. As long as he tips. You were not looking for a boyfriend. Or a hookup. You cringed at the thought of even trying to navigate dating between your work schedule and also living with your Aunt as a grown ass woman. You shook your head like it would get rid of the thought. Satisfied with the current state of the bar you took a minute to drink some water and scan the club. There were worse places you could work for sure.

Minho came back to the bar and asked you to make some shots while he grabs some beers. Grape bombs? Is this 2012? You resisted the urge to gag, having gotten sick on them when you were younger. You placed the drinks on his tray and checked the bartop once again.

Mr. Expensive Suit dimple-face was nursing a Goose and soda. “You doing ok?” you asked him as you made your way down the bar.

“I’m great. Thanks. What’s your name?”

“[Y/N]” you responded and started to move on to your next guest.

“This is the part where you ask my name.” he said arrogantly. Suddenly you did not care for him as much.

“Is it? I’ve never talked to someone in a bar before. I didn't realize there was a script.” you responded sarcastically. You hated it when guys thought they could manipulate you.

“Wow. Ok. Ok. Hard to get. I respect that. I’m Kim Namjoon.”

“Ok Mr. Kim, is there anything else I can get for you right now?” you asked, oh so sweetly.

“No. I’m good for now.” he said, laughing to himself. He shook his head incredulously and sipped his drink.

Well maybe you weren’t going to get tipped after all. Oh well.

The rest of the night was mostly a blur. The vodka special brought in quite a few people and you ended up going through four bottles of Goose. Mr. Kim Dimples remained, nursing only his second drink now and still staring at you even though he was trying hard to not look like he was staring. It was awkward. He was hot but sooo not your type. Which you thought you had made clear.

“Mr. Kim, are you sure you even like Goose and soda?” you teased him as you made another round checking on people.

“You know, I am more of a beer drinker myself, but I can’t pass up a good vodka special.” he leaned to the side, getting out his wallet, and pulled out a business card.

“[Y/N], I’d like for you to take this.” he stuck it between his index and middle finger, holding it out for you to take.

“I am flattered, Mr. Kim, but I’m not interested in anything like that.” you smiled politely.

He rolled his eyes at you. “Believe me, I’m not asking you on a date. You are so not my type,” he said with an air of disgust. As though he was repulsed that you would have even thought he would consider asking you out. “This is a job opportunity. I work for a talent agency of sorts.”

Wow. What a dick. “Oh yeah? What talent do you see?” you gesture to yourself. “I do pour some stiff drinks and can usually tell rude guys to fuck off with a smile on my face.”

To your surprise he just laughed. “You are very funny. And I suppose some people would find you attractive. Just take the card. I think you’re the best candidate I’ve found yet.” he stood up and put on his suit jacket, sitting the business card down on the bartop.

“Rude.” you casually said, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

"Well, it makes no difference to me if you accept or not. Regardless, there it is." He gestured to the card, and sat down way too much money on top of it. "Keep the change." He turned and left.

You didn’t end up closing for Minho; the two of you both stayed since it remained steady through closing time. You were weirded out by the conversation with Mr. Kim, but having worked in a bar for the past 7 years, it wasn't the weirdest thing that had ever happened to you. You threw the business card into your purse and forgot about it for the rest of your shift.

The remainder of the night passed without incident. As much as you disliked it, that weirdo's money helped make sure you could take the bus again the next few days. You stuffed your tips into your purse and walked home. Well. To your aunt's house. It didn't really feel like home. Just a temporary landing spot until you and your siblings could get your own place again.

You entered quietly and washed your hands. You dutifully went through your siblings school bags, making sure their supplies and homework were where they should be. You packaged their lunches as much as you could and started a fresh batch of rice for tomorrow. All mostly in the dark so you didn't wake anyone up. Your brother was sleeping on the couch, which you hated, but he insisted on it. You were sharing the guest bedroom with your sister and your niece.

You grabbed your laptop and curled up in the corner of the kitchen to not bother anybody. I’m a 27 year old loser hiding on the floor of my Aunt’s apartment in the middle of the night. I have to wake up in 5 hours for my other job and instead I’m going to look up a website that some weird ass rude hot guy at a bar gave me. Why is this my life? You thought, and yet you pulled out the business card and entered the link. It took you to a black website with a white box asking for a code. You flipped the card over, and there it was, handwritten. You type it in and wait for the website to load, convinced it’s going to be some weird porn site with fisting or crush videos. You almost cover your eyes but to your pleasant surprise it’s a normal website.

Seeking: a suitable adult woman for long-term companionship. Will be well compensated. Serious inquiries only.

The text continued: If you are on this website, congratulations. You have already presented the basic level qualifications for this position.

Ok. So maybe this was an escort service. Which I mean...if it paid better than both of your jobs and you didn’t have to have sex with people maybe you could. No. No. You talked yourself out of it and scrolled down to read more of the description,

Requirements:

Female between the ages of 20 and 40.

Flexibility in schedule

Desire to travel and attend events

Strong personality and interpersonal skills

Proficiency with Microsoft Excel and Word

Punctuality, attention to detail, and strong organizational skills

Desired but not necessary

Non-smoker/drinks alcohol socially

Like animals

Enjoy listening to music

Compensation:

Position requires relocation to on-site premises and therefore covers room and board.

Monthly stipend (click here for more information pertaining to taxes)

3 meals a day, beverages, and snacks included

Most escort services didn’t require proficiency in Microsoft Word or Excel...you were guessing. Maybe it was a legit job. Like an on-site event planner? You clicked the link contained in compensation and HOLY SHIT THAT WAS A LOT OF MONEY.

You bit your lip and pulled up your resume. It couldn’t hurt to submit it, right? You didn’t have much to update since you had just started your office job 3 months ago. You updated the resume to include that job and listed your address as Club Tokki’s in case this was actually a sex trafficking set up. You thought about it for a another minute and then uploaded the document, took a deep breath, and hit “send.” NEXT CHAPTER

TAGS: @lidda

#bts fanfic #yoongi x reader #suga x reader #bts fanfction #bts yoongi x reader #bts suga x you #bts fics #bts au fanfic #bts scenarios #bts imagines

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dulcechocochips · 3 years

Text

𝒜𝓉𝓎𝓅𝒾𝒸𝒶𝓁

Chapter 2 : ↫↫↫ Arcade Games ↬↬↬

"Are you not gonna play any arcade games with us?" She asked him. She motioned to the rest of the group already at various games. "Teruhashi and I were about to go to the 3-D movie theatre. Wanna come with?" She gestured to the entrance where Teruhashi was trying to fend off countless of people. Saiki only shrugged in response. "I'll take that as a yes, come on!" Y/n said taking him by the wrist. Her hands are warm. He took notice.

They came to a stop in front of a group of people surrounding poor Teruhashi. "Hey! Teruhashi seems a little thirsty! I wonder who can get her something to drink as soon as possible?" Y/n called to the group. Almost immediately the group dispersed to go look for something their queen can drink. "That was easier to do than I thought it would be, heh." Y/n laughs. "Well, lets head in already!" She says holding the door open for her friends. They sat near the middle front of the theatre, while other people started filling the seats around them.

They strapped their seat belts and got comfortable. As the movie started, there was a gust of wind coming from the large fans at the front of the room. There was a loud sound, and dozens of children let out shrieks of joy. Surprisingly, Saiki heard a yelp of excitement come from beside him, he looked and saw Y/n with a wide smile. He couldn't help but feel a sense of ease when he saw the heartwarming smile on her delicate features.

The movie ended a lot sooner than Saiki had expected. That was less than 5 minutes, why even call it a movie? He asks himself. "Hey! Let's go play some arcade games!" She said pointing to one of the games. "Saiki! I bet I can beat you at this game!" She challenges him. What a mistake that is. "In fact, I bet I could beat all of you at any game you choose!" She challenges her friends. They all agree and let out competitive yells. She sure does know how to get them all riled up. "For every time one of you win, I'll buy you whatever you want from the convenience store down the street, but if I win you have to the same for me, yeah?" She states. That's a risky bet, she could end up having to buy 5 people something from the store, but she could also really luck out and have 5 people buy stuff for her. Either she's very confident or very stupid, I'm having a hard time figuring out which one.

One after one, the teens played against Y/n, every game different, and against all odds, she won every match. Her friends all let out groans of disappointment after every time she won. She was a good sport though, never once making fun of the loser. Very admirable of her. Saiki thought. It was eventually Saiki's turn to pick. He points to a racing game.

"Hell yeah, let's do it!" She exclaims, rushing over to the machine. They both sit down and insert the golden tokens into the machine. They wait for the count down. And they start. Y/n can't help but notice the presence of her classmates, some of them holding on to the back of their seats with anticipation. Saiki somehow pulls ahead of Y/n at the end of the race and wins.

"Damn! How'd you do that? That was really cool!" She said slapping Saiki on the back. I need him to teach me how to do that! He hears from her thoughts. "Well, I guess we should start heading out, it's starting to get dark." She comments. "Oh, and I was only kidding about the convenience store thing, you guys don't have to buy me anything. Of course, I'll still hold up my end of the deal, since Saiki won I'll buy him whatever he likes. You guys don't have to worry about it, alright?" She smiled at them. Unknownst to her, her likeability had just shot way up with all of her new friends. They all walked out of the arcade.

"Well, I live this way, I'll see you all at school." "Yeah so do we, see ya!" And that left two people. Y/n and Saiki. What a coincidence. Saiki projected his thoughts at the author.

"So, Saiki, did you have fun?" She suddenly asks. Saiki had to admit, watching his classmates cry out in frustration was kind of enjoyable for him. Saiki nods his head. "That's good, I'll buy you something from here, come on." She says walking into the store.

"Y/n! You're here later than usual! How was your day?" A man with blonde hair asked. He seemed to have been holding a cigarette in his hand.

"Keishin! My day was great actually, I went to the arcade with a couple of my classmates. That's actually why I'm late." She says with a smile. "How's the coaching going?" She asks him as Kusuo goes to look for what he wants.

"It's going really well actually." He comments. "Well, hurry along and go get what you're gonna buy, its getting dark outside." He says to the girl.

"You don't have to worry about me, Keishin!" She says to him. He just shooed her away. She just laughs at him. She walks down the aisle looking for various snacks to take home. She walks down the aisle Saiki is in and sees him contemplating something. "Yo Saiki, what're you getting?" She asks. It's either he didn't hear her or he's ignoring her. She squints her eyes at him in suspicion. He suddenly looks up at her. "Oh, hey." She says awkwardly. He hands her one coffee jelly. "Is that it?" She asks. He hesitantly nods his head. She rolls her eyes and takes at least 3 more from the shelf. "I can tell you like these, no need to be shy, let's go. Wait, lemme get one more, I've never had this." She laughs and walks to the cashier.

Are you a God? He thinks.

"Funny that you ask that, Saiki. Maybe I am, you'll never know." She shoots him a wink. Saiki feels a strange sensation in the pit of his stomach. Other than that, he's left wondering how you heard him. "That'll be all, Keishin." She says, taking out her wallet. She takes out a couple of bills and places them on the counter.

"That's a lot of coffee jelly, Y/n." He comments. He continues ringing up the items.

"Well, you see this boy here seems to really like it, and since I lost a bet, I'm buying them for him." She explains. He gives her a skeptical look.

"That's rather generous. Is he your boyfriend?" He asks. Saiki looks at the man, who seems to be judging him. Huh, he seems like a good kid. He hears him think. Saiki looks at you, waiting for you to respond.

"Hah, he only just realized I existed today, Keishin. He's not my boyfriend." She laughs. Although, Saiki thought he heard a somewhat bitter tone in her first sentence. I must be imagining things. He brushes it off.

"Uh-huh, well, do you want this in a separate bag then?" He asks, albeit still a bit skeptical about your and Saiki's relationship. She nods and takes the bags, handing the one with coffee jelly to Saiki.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow Keishin! Bring the team by, I'd love to meet them sometime!" She waves him goodbye.

"I'll make sure to bring them by sometime soon." He waves back.

The two teens walk in somewhat awkward silence. Y/n realizes that she and Saiki live relatively close to each other. She reads the plaque with the name Saiki. Her townhouse apartment is less than a five-minute walk down the street. "Oh, I hadn't realized we lived so near to each other, until now." She commented. Saiki saw that they had actually got to his house before he even realized it. "I guess I'll see you at school tomorrow. Have a good night, Saiki." Y/n bowed before walking home. She let out a sigh of content. Today was a good day. She thought to herself.

---

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Masterlist

WORD COUNT : 1388

#saiki x reader #saiki k #the disastrous life of saiki k.#x reader #kusuo

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incorrect-wow-quotes1 · 3 years

Text

Banshee Movie

Narrator: According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a banshee should be able to fly. Its tendrils are too small to get its fat tits off the ground. The banshee, of course, flies anyway because banshees don't care what the living think is impossible.

*Cut to Undercity*

Sylvanas: Purple, black. Purple, black. Purple, black. Purple, black. Ooh, black and purple! Yeah, let's shake it up a little.

Banshee Lireesa: Sylvanas! Breakfast is ready!

Sylvanas: Coming!

Val'kyr: *Starts vibrating*

Sylvanas: Oh, hang on a second.

Sylvanas: *Slaps Val'kyr's ass*

Sylvanas: Hello?

Val'kyr: *Opens mouth, causing Velonara's voice to pour forth*

Velonara: Sylvanas?

Sylvanas: Velonara?

Velonara: Can you believe this is happening?

Sylvanas: I can't believe it! I'll pick you up.

Sylvanas: *Slaps Val'kyr's ass again to hang up*

Sylvanas: *Sharpens claws*

Sylvanas: Lookin' sharp.

Sylvanas: *Flies downstairs*

Lireesa: Sylvanas, why don't you use the stairs? Your other mom paid good money for those.

Sylvanas: Sorry. I'm excited!

Lireesa but in a player 2 color scheme: Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, comrade. And a perfect report card, all B's.

Lireesa 1: Very proud. *Touches Sylvanas' hair*

Sylvanas: Ma! I got a thing going here.

Lireesa: And you've got some lint in your hair.

Sylvanas: OW! That's me!

Lireesa 2: Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.

Sylvanas: Bye! *Flies off* Sylvanas: Hey Velonara! Velonara: Hey Sylvanas! Is that hair gel? Sylvanas: A little. It's a special day, finally graduating. Velonara: Never thought I’d make it. Sylvanas: Yeah, three centuries grade school, three centuries high school. Velonara: Those were so awkward... Sylvanas: Three centuries college. I'm glad I took off one century in the middle and just hitchhiked around the Undercity. Velonara: You did come back different. *A banshee calls out as they fly past* Banshee: Hi, Sylvanas. Sylvanas: Hey Anya. Shaving your head? Looks good. Velonara: Hey did you hear about Aeriel? Sylvanas: Yeah. Velonara: You going to her funeral? Sylvanas: No, I'm not goin' to her funeral. Everybody knows you sting someone, you die. You don't waste it on a squirrel. She was such a hothead. Velonara: Yeah, I guess she could have just gotten out of the way. Sylvanas and Velonara: *Both make banshee screams as they turn a corner* S and V: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Velonara: I love this incorporating an amusement park right into our regular day.

Sylvanas: I guess that’s why they say we don’t need a vacation. Sylvanas: Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. Sylvanas: Well Velonara, today, we are Dark Rangers. Velonara: We are! Sylvanas: Banshee Dark Rangers. Velonara: *Starts banshee screaming again* Sylvanas: *Joins in* Announcer: Students, faculty, distinguished banshees, please welcome Dean Blightcaller. Nathanos, the normal human: Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of... 9:15! That concludes graduation ceremonies. Nathanos: And begins your career at Plaguex Industries! Sylvanas: Are we gonna pick our jobs today? Velonara: I heard it’s just orientation. Sylvanas: Huh. Woah! Heads up, here we go! Announcer: Keep your hands and tendrils inside the vehicle at all times. Mantenga sus manos y zarcillos dentro del tranvía en todo momento. Sylvanas: Wonder what it's going to be like? Velonara: A little scary. Sylvanas: *Starts banshee screaming again* Velonara: *Joins in* Banshee Vereesa, the tour guide: Welcome to Plaguex, a division of Plagusco and a part of the Geneva Group. Sylvanas: This is it! Velonara: Wow! Sylvanas: Wow! Vereesa: We know that you, as a banshee, have worked your whole unlife to get to the point where you can work for your whole unlife. Plague begins when our valiant apothecary cucks bring the slime to the Undercity. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive green glow you know as... Everyone: Plague! Velonara: That girl was hot. Sylvanas: She’s my sister! Velonara: Really? Sylvanas: Yes, we’re all sisters. Velonara: Right, you’re right. Vereesa: At Plaguex, we also constantly strive to improve every aspect of banshee existence. These banshees are stress-testing a new hood technology. Velonara: Ooh what do you think she makes? Sylvanas: Not enough. Vereesa: And here we have our latest advancement, the Krelmann! Sylvanas: Wow, what does that do? Vereesa: Catches that little strand of plague that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Velonara: Uh, uh, can anyone work on the Krelmann? Vereesa: Of course. Most banshee jobs are small ones. But banshees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job that you pick for the rest of your unlife. Sylvanas: The same job for the rest of your unlife? I didn’t know that. Velonara: What’s the difference? Sylvanas: Huh? Vereesa: And you'll be happy to know that banshees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. Wooh! Sylvanas: So you’ll just work us to true death? Vereesa: We’ll sure try! Everyone: *Laughs, which quickly descends into banshee screams* Velonara: Wow! That blew my mind? Sylvanas: "What's the difference?" Velonara, how could you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. Velonara: Well, I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. Sylvanas: But how could they never have told us that? Velonara: Sylvanas, why would you question anything? We're banshees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Azeroth. Sylvanas: Yeah, but Velonara, you ever think maybe things work a little too well around here? Velonara: Like what? Give me one example. Sylvanas: I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Announcer: Please clear the gate. Royal Apothecary Society on approach. Royal Apothecary Society on approach. Sylvanas: Wait a second. Check it out. Hey, those are apothecary cucks! Velonara: Wow. I’ve never seen them this close. Sylvanas: They know what it’s like outside the Undercity. Velonara: Yeah, but some of them don't come back. Really roided up apothecary: You guys did great! You're monsters! You're surface freaks! I love it! I love it! Sylvanas: I wonder where those guys have just been. Velonara: I don’t know. Sylvanas: Their day's not planned. Outside the Undercity, running around who knows where, doing who knows what. Velonara: You can't just decide one day to be an Apothecary Cuck. You have to be bred for that. Sylvanas: Right. Sylvanas: Look at that. That's more slime than you and I will ever see in a lifetime. Velonara: It's just a status symbol. I think banshees make too big a deal out of it. Sylvanas: Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Ladies in the distance: *Banshee scream* Velonara: Those ladies? Aren't they our sisters too? Sylvanas: Distant. Distant. Lilian Voss: Look at these two. Lilian with a player 2 color scheme: A couple of City Sallies. Lilian 1: Let’s have some fun with them. Lady: It must be so dangerous being an apothecary cuck. Sylvanas: Oh, yeah. One time a worgen had me pinned up against a mushroom! He had one paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me back and forth across the face! Lady: Oh my! Sylvanas: I never thought I’d knock him out! Lady, to Velonara: And what were you doing during all this? Velonara: Obviously, I was trying to alert the authorities. Sylvanas: I can autograph that if you want. Lilian: A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Sylvanas: Yeah. Gusty. Lilian: Yeah, we're gonna hit a sunflower patch about six miles from here tomorrow. Sylvanas: Six miles, huh? Velonara: Sylvanas! Sylvanas: It's a puddle jump for us, but, uh, maybe you're not up for it. Sylvanas: Maybe I am! Velonara: You are not. Lilian: We're going 0900 at the northern elevator. Velonara: Woah! Lilian: What do you think, screamer? Are you banshee enough? Sylvanas: I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. *Later* Sylvanas: *Watches city from balcony* Lireesa 2: Hey, Plaguex! Sylvanas: Oh! Mom. You surprised me. Lireesa: Have you decided what you're interested in, comrade? Sylvanas: Well there’s a lot of choices. Lireesa: But you only get one. Sylvanas: Mom, do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Lireesa: Comrade, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. Sylvanas: You know, mom, the more I think about it, the more I realize the plague field just isn’t right for me. Lireesa: And you were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a girl with tendrils. Sylvanas: Well, no... Lireesa: Lireesa! Your comrade’s not sure she wants to go into plague! Lireesa 1: Oh Sylvanas, you are so funny sometimes! Sylvanas: I’m not trying to be funny. Lireesa 2: You're not funny! You're going into plague. Our comrade, the stirrer! Lireesa 1: You're gonna be a stirrer? Lireesa 2: Wait til you see the sticks I have for you! Sylvanas: I could say anything right now. Sylvanas: I’m gonna get an Alliance tattoo! Lireesa 1: Oh, let's open some fresh plague and celebrate! Sylvanas: Maybe I’ll pierce my tongue. Lireesa 2: To plague! Sylvanas: Shave my head. Lireesa 1: So funny. Sylvanas: Shack up with a gnome. Get a gold tooth and start call everybody "dawg"! Lireesa 2: I’m so proud. *The next day* Velonara: I can't believe we're starting work today! Sylvanas: Today’s the day. Velonara: Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. Sylvanas: Yeah. Right. Nathanos the normal human: Slime counting, stunt banshee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... Alina: Is it still available? Nathanos: Hang on. Two left! And ... one of them's yours! Congratulations! son, Step to the side, please. Alina: Yeah! Velonara: What’d you get? Alina: Picking the bones out! Velonara: Woah. Alina: That is stellar! Velonara: Wow! Nathanos: Couple of newbies? Velonara: Yes, sir! Our first day! And we are ready! Nathanos: Well, step up and make your choice. Velonara: Do you wanna go first? Sylvanas: Uh, no, you go. Velonara: Oh, my. What's available? Nathanos: Restroom attendant’s always taken, by me. Velonara: Any chance of getting on to the Krelmann, sir? Nathanos: Sure, you're on. Nathanos: Oh, I'm sorry, the Krelmann just closed out. Velonara: Oh. Nathanos: Wax monkey's always open. And the Krelmann just opened up again. Velonara: What happened? Nathanos: Well, whenever a banshee dies, that's an opening. See that? She's dead, dead, another dead one, deady, deadified, two more dead. Dead from the neck up, dead from the neck down. But, that's unlife! Velonara: Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, antenna ball polisher, mite wrangler.... Sylvanas, what do you think I should... Sylvanas? Sylvanas! Lilian with a player 3 color scheme: All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine. Geranium window box on outside the Scarlet Monastery... Val’kyr: *Vibrates* Sylvanas: *Slaps its ass* Velonara: What happened to you? Where are you? Sylvanas: I’m going out. Velonara: Out? Out where? Sylvanas: Out there! Velonara: Oh no. Sylvanas: I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. Velonara: You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Sylvanas: Oh, another call coming in. Sylvanas: *Slaps val’kyr’s ass* Lilian 3: If anyone's feeling brave, there’s a Worgen outpost that gets some roses today. Sylvanas: Hey, guys. Lilian 1: Well look at that. Lilian 3: Hold it, comrade. Elevator’s restricted. Lilian 2: It's okay, Lilian. We're gonna take her up. Lilian with a player 4 color scheme: Yeah. Lilian 3: Really. Feeling lucky, are you? Crew banshee: Sign here, here. Just initial that. Thank you. Lilian 3: Okay, you got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, forsaken cannot run around in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being thrown at us. Lilian's in a home because of it, just babbling like a goblin! Sylvanas: That’s awful. Lilian 3: And a reminder for you rookies, forsaken law number one, absolutely no talking to the living! All right, positions! *Everyone just, goes to stand on the elevator* Lilian 1: You ready for this, hot shot? Sylvanas: Yeah, yeah. Bring it on. Varok: YOU HAVE NO HONOR!!!!!!!!!!!! Varok: *Runs in and smashes up the movie set* Sylvanas: Oh for the love of... Great everyone, Undercity’s first ever movie production, and this happens! Sylvanas: I’ll be in my trailer. Varok, in the background: HONOR!!!!!! *smashes more stuff* Sylvanas: I should’ve stayed a night elf.

#read the ending #if nothing else #happy april fools #source: bee movie #sylvanas windrunner #dark ranger velonara #vereesa windrunner #lireesa windrunner #lilian voss #Nathanos Blightcaller #varok saurfang

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kenkamishiro · 3 years

Text

Jack Jeanne Playthrough Part 3 (April 5)

1 month later. April 5th in the VN. Kisa is at Univeil and excited she passed the entrance exam. She runs into her childhood friend Yonaga who's also been accepted. He's shocked that Kisa is attending too, but before she can explain Suzu joins them, introduces one each other.

Quartz's theme is "transparency" where many inexperienced performers who haven't specialized yet tend to go.

Onyx = Jacks whose forte is in dance.

Rhodonite = Jeannes who specialize in song.

Amber is where talented and unique students gather.

Suzu theorizes Kisa would be in Rhodonite because of her appearance, himself in Onyx because his physical abilities make him more suitable for dancing than singing or acting. Yonaga would like to be in Quartz.

Yonaga: Quartz...would be nice.

Suzu: I get what you mean!

Yonaga: Huh?

Suzu: Tbh I enrolled in Univeil cause I really admire Tachibana Tsuki, the legendary Jackace of Quartz!

Kisa: ...!

Suzu: That's why I wanna be in the same class as Tachibana Tsuki...come to think of it, your last names are the same.

Kisa: (If people find out I'm related to Tsuki-nii, it might make it even easier for them to discover my identity...! But it might be better than lying poorly...)

Kisa: It's true. It's the same (nonchalantly)

Yonaga: ......

Suzu: Maybe you guys are distant relatives!

Kisa: *nervous laughter*

Yonaga cuts in and says they should go check which class they're in. Kisa thanks Yonaga for the save. Their year is the 78th class of Univeil. All 3 are in Quartz.

Kisa gets called to the headmaster's office.

Chuuza congratulates her and informs her about her admission. The only ones who know that Kisa is a girl is him, Quartz's homeroom teacher Enishi Rokurou, and now Yonaga, Kisa's childhood friend. Chuuza is surprised that someone who knew about Kisa enrolled in the school.

But if anyone else finds out that she's a girl, expulsion. But since a lot of students are feminine, she won't have to go out of her way to act and dress like a boy. He reminds her to build trust with the rest of the students, and aim to become a lead and aim for the top.

Kisa arrives to Quartz's homeroom late.

??: Yes, yes, come right in.

Kisa: (The teacher...? But he's in a student uniform.)

??: You were called in quite loudly during the school announcements. Did you run into any issues on the first day? Theft, robbery, manslaughter, extortion, coercion, or a bank robbery, perhaps...?

(Please watch the clip of this scene. Can you tell he and Furuta share the same VA? 😄)

Fumi: No one like that would be in our school, Kuro.

??: But wouldn't be great to have such a plucky 1st year around, Fuumin! All the world's a stage!

Fumi: And, if the cops came?

??: I concede! Law is what keeps society together.

Kai: ...you two are bothering the 1st years.

Kisa finds a seat by Suzu and Yonaga.

Neji Kokuto (3rd year, 76th class of Univeil) welcomes the 1st year students to Univeil and Quartz. Class leader-slash-scriptwriter-slash-director-slash...all kinds of other things! He provides an info-dump about Univeil for us.

5 performances in total: Rookie, Summer, Fall, Winter, and Univeil Exhibitions. The Rookie Exhibition is where the 1st years take the lead roles, which is going to be held May 30th. Today is April 5th, so less than 2 months remain. Most viewers will watch over them warmly, but others will be more strict, like journal reporters, critics and avid Univeil fans. Neji will write a script to allow even novices like them to shine on stage. Casting will be announced mid-April. Upper years are also participating and support the 1st years.

Neji: If you have any questions, all you need is to ask. I'm sure all our seniors here will be more than happy to help you.

??: What, no way.

Neji: With some exceptions of course! Mwahaha. Mikki's a 2nd year now, you can be a little nice to your juniors, hm?

??: ...

Kisa notes he looks cute like a doll. Shirota Mitsuki, noted for his singing. He catches Kisa staring at him, and she apologizes.

Neji asks if anyone has any questions. You're given 3 options: 1) How casting is determined, 2) Type of training to be done, 3) No questions.

Casting is based on Neji's subjective judgment. Everything from how they're doing in lessons, campus life, the way they walk, talk, physique, voice, facial expressions. Essentially based on his intuition, which he uses to find gemstones in the rough.

Training I'll explain later, there's gameplay related to it.

Neji finishes his spiel and passes it on to Quartz's homeroom teacher, Enishi. Pretty low energy. Lessons start tomorrow. Class is dismissed.

Suzu meets Kisa outside the Quartz dorms and asks if she's ready to introduce herself to the other students. He notes it's hard to find people since Univeil is so large. They chat for a bit, Suzu asks Kisa to call him by his first name, so Suzu-kun it is.

Inside Yonaga's dorm. He's finished unpacking, though he's still yet to put away his books (on theatre). He asks how Kisa got into Univeil, and she explains what happened. Yonaga says he'll help Kisa to make sure she stays at Univeil. He's glad that Kisa is here with him.

Yonaga: Kisa-chan, about Tsuki-kun...

Kisa: I can't get in touch with Tsuki-nii, but I'm sure he's doing fine wherever he is.

Yonaga: I see. Yeah, I'm sure he is.

(Isn't that sketchy? Maybe he turned into that weasel with the moon on its belly lol)

Kisa begins her search for the Quartz students. At the Univeil courtyard, Kisa hears Mitsuki singing.

"Within this chest of mine I dance, the rhythm of possibilities"

Kisa: (I'd heard he was lauded for his singing, but he really has a beautiful voice...the lyrics paint the scene in my head.)

Mitsuki: ...could you not stare at me like that? It's uncomfortable.

Kisa: Oh, I'm sorry!

Mitsuki: Oh, you again. The 1st year who came in late.

Kisa: Yes. My name is Tachibana Kisa. It's a pleasure to meet you.

Mitsuki: Huh...you've got a face like a girl.

Kisa: Eh? Y-yes, I suppose so.

Mitsuki: A high-pitch voice. A delicate figure. And a Jeanne at that. At least be aware of your own features.

Kisa: I-I'm sorry.

He sighs and introduces himself. 2nd year, 77th class of Univeil. A Jeanne and a tresor (songstress/diva) of Quartz. VA is Kajiwara Gakuto (Asta). Kisa compliments him on his singing.

Mitsuki: So you were eavesdropping.

Kisa: I-I'm sorry.

Mitsuki: Well, not like I care either way. Later.

Kisa: He left...I guess he doesn't really like interacting with people. But his voice really was beautiful.

(If I had to describe Mitsuki's tone, it would be similar to Kenma, but a bit more antisocial lol)

Kisa finds Kai in the forest, seemingly concentrating on something. She decides to come back later, but Kai notices her.

Kai: ...? Quartz's 1st year?

Kisa: Yes! I'm Tachibana Kisa.

Kai: I see, you're...

Kisa: Yes!

(awkward silence between the two)

Kai: Mutsumi Kai, 76th class of Univeil. I'm a 3rd year.

Kisa: So I should call you Mutsumi-senpai!

Kai: Kai is fine. You can call me that around other people too.

Kisa: But...

Kai: ...

Kisa: ...(agrees)

Kai: ...

Kisa: T-then, I'll call you Kai-san!

Kai: Okay.

Kisa notes Kai is the Jackace of Quartz. And since Tsuki was also the Jackace, that means he must be talented too.

Kai: I'm a vessel meant to garnish the Aljeanne. Nothing more, nothing less.

Kisa is confused by his statement. Convo ends.

Kisa runs into Neji next in the hallways. He enters a room then promptly comes back out.

Neji: Welcome!

Kisa: Ah!

Neji: What're you doing in a place like this?

Kisa: I'm going around introducing myself to everyone in Quartz.

Neji invites her into his workroom where he writes his scripts and plans his staging. But he also performs on stage, any male or female role, from a shining prince/princess to old grannies/gramps.

He's currently working on the script for Quartz, but he won't reveal it just yet. Kisa asks if the other class leaders write the scripts like he does, but Neji is a special case, who screenwrites, directs and performs.

Neji: Once you get carried away, you can't see what's going on around you. What we do has no end to it. Acting, dancing, singing, they're fields that you can pursue for a lifetime. You could reach the stars, or merely end up as a master of none. No matter how much time, it will never be enough. It's a terrifying world out there. That's why it's so engrossing. The stage is a colossal device. The Jacks and Jeannes make up the gears, and I am the craftsman who pieces them together. Let's create a fantastic stage together, Tachibana-kun!

Neji must continue writing, and wishes Kisa the best for the Rookie Exhibition. (Neji definitely talks the most out of the main cast lol. And fast too, talks a mile a minute and tone varies hugely)

Kisa finds Fumi standing languidly in the middle of the dance room, taking deep breaths before beginning to dance. A Japanese-style dance where his movements are gentle, beautiful and brilliant. He comments on Kisa staring intently at him, just like during the entrance exam.

Kisa is surprised that Fumi remembered, despite the number of applicants.

Fumi: I remember you and the red-haired guy well cause you two danced so terribly.

Kisa: Oh...

Fumi: I'm just kidding. Though the red-haired guy really did suck.

Kisa introduces herself, and Fumi pauses at hearing the name Tachibana. 3rd year Takashina Sarafumi, 76th class of Univeil, but he prefers being called Fumi, no senpai honorific attached. Kisa ends up calling him Fumi-san.

Fumi: Let's have fun, Kisa. (leaves)

Kisa: It's overwhelming seeing him up close. So that's the power of an Aljeanne.

Kisa goes to her room excited for her new life at Univeil and retires for the night for her 1st day of classes tomorrow.

＊＊＊

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#Jack Jeanne #Ishida Sui #JJ playthrough

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wiypt-writes · 3 years

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Riding High

Ch20: When The Bough Breaks

Chapter Summary: Fliss finds herself in an impossible position…and her decision tips Frank’s world upside down.

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words.

Chapter Pairings: Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

A/N: Don’t hate me…

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Riding High Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 19

And this day’s ending is the proof of time, killing all the faith I know.

“Was that another one?” Frank asked as Fliss tossed her phone onto the coffee table with an angry snort.

She nodded, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Frank sighed and looked at her “Honey…” “I know, I know…” she looked at him. “Look, I’ve made notes of every time I’ve had one so… its recorded. But again, it’s not like we can prove anything…they happen like twice a day and then nothing…hardly what they’ll call harassment.” Frank shifted slightly “This has been going on for 2 weeks now sweetheart.” “I’m well aware of that.” she snapped, before she shook her head “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get angry…not at you.” “Come here…” he said, opening his arms and she snuggled into him, leaning against his chest as his hand gently ran up and down her arm. “Maybe you should think about changing your number…and not putting the new one on the website.” “Yeah.” she conceded, “It’s not gonna help for work though…” “You can work round it.” he said, “Keep the business line and if you’re not there people will have to leave a message. Then, once you know your clients…you can give them your cell number.”

“Fucking ass hole is still making my life awkward.”

“Only if you let him. It’s a minor inconvenience to change your number but, if in the grand scheme of things all he has in his back pocket is sending you some dumbass birthday card and silent phone calls then…he’s just a pathetic fucking loser that’s trying to bully you into being scared.” “I’m not scared, just pissed off.” she shook her head “I know he’s a chicken shit, he wouldn’t dare come near me not when you’re on the scene…or my dad for that matter.” “Good, because if he did I’m not sure I’d be able to control myself.” Frank said softly.

“Maybe we should just pay someone to kill him.” Fliss said after a moment’s pause and Frank let out a snort “Bullet straight between the eyes.”

“Nah, too quick.” Frank sniffed, reaching for his beer “I’d dangle him over a tank of hungry sharks and lower him in inch by inch…”

“Or we could feed him to pigs, like in Hannibal.” Fliss mused.

“That’s also an option…no trace” he nodded taking a mouthful of beer.

“You know they should teach this shit at schools” Fliss reached for her own drink “How to get rid of bodies. I feel it is something everyone should be educated in.” “Maybe you should mention it to Bonnie. Tell her you feel it is an educational rite of passage or some other inspiring shit like that…”

Fliss laughed, placing her wine glass down and shifting so that she was led on her front, half on-half off Frank, looking up at him as her chin rest on his chest.

“On a scale of 1 to 10 how much of a meltdown are we facing with Mary on tomorrow morning?”

“From her current mood I’d suspect a good 4 and a half, maybe a 5.” he mused, before he looked at Fliss “I don’t much care, she’s going whether she wants to or not.” “When do the University Classes start again?”

“Not till second week in October.” Frank replied “Which reminds me, I need to submit that funding form tomorrow…” “It’s on the table.” Fliss said, as she correctly guessed from the look on his face he was pondering where he had put it.”

“What would I do without you?” he grinned down at her.

“I have absolutely no idea.” she shrugged and he smiled and leaned down pressing a kiss to her lips.

“Did you speak to Evelyn before?” Fliss asked him and he nodded.

“She’s coming down this weekend.” Frank said, “She’s still on about Mary going to Boston for a weekend.” “You still not comfortable about her going?” Fliss asked.

Frank wrinkled his nose “I don’t know if I trust her fully yet.” “You’ll never know you can unless you give her a chance.” Fliss reasoned

“You think I should let her go?” Frank said, slightly surprised.

“That’s not my decision to make, Frank” Fliss shook her head.

“No, but I value your opinion.” Frank looked at her. “Go on, tell me what you think.” Fliss hesitated for a moment before she sat up and turned her body so she was facing him, her legs tucked underneath her on the sofa. “If it was me in your position, I’d give Evelyn a chance. She’s played ball so far, done everything you’ve asked her to. You’ve got legal guardianship of Mary so she can’t pull any stupid stunts, and if Mary comes back and tells you something she did that you don’t like, well, you cut the visits.” Frank looked at Fliss before he took another drink from his beer bottle. He was torn in two. In one respect he wanted Mary to be happy and it certainly seemed that she enjoyed seeing Evelyn, but on flip side he was still more than comfortable with keeping his Mother at arm’s length.

“I’ll think about it.” he shrugged, non-committedly.

“Well, you should also ask Mary.” Fliss said “She might not even want to go.” “She will.” Frank said, “Evelyn has a piano.” Fliss laughed “Yeah, but she’s also bossy, remember?”

“Yeah, I had heard that.” Frank said, and Fliss chuckled again.

“Well, can you not think about it right now?” she said, taking the beer bottle out of his hand.

“Hey…” he pouted as she put it down on the table, his pout soon turned into a smirk as Fliss moved so she was straddling him on the sofa, his t-shirt that she’d been lounging around in rode up her thighs slightly and his hands rubbed up the side of her bare skin. “Something on your mind baby girl?”

“What makes you think that?” she asked, sliding her hands up his chest, over the soft material of his top.

“Just a hunch…” he mumbled, as he reached up and gently gripped the back of her neck, pulling her head down to meet his.

****** “Hey Frank…”

Frank looked up and smiled at Alan as he walked into the work shop.

“Hey Alan, not seen you in a while, how you doing?” “Good…I’m good. I was just wondering if I could have a word in my office.”

“Sure.” Frank frowned “Is err, everything ok?” “Oh, yeah, it’s nothing to worry about…quite the opposite in fact…” “Alright, well me just finish piecing this oil filter together and I’ll be with you.”

“Sure.” Alan said, “No rush.”

Frank quickly tightened the filter back up, gave it the once over before he set down his tools and hopped off the boat, wiping his hands on a rag before he walked through the door at the back of the workshop and down the small corridor that led to the main office at the rear of the shop. He knocked sharply on the door and then swung it open as Alan looked at him, gesturing for him to take a seat whilst he finished up his call. Eventually, he bid the person on the other end good bye and placed the receiver down.

“Relax, Frank…” Alan chuckled as Frank adjusted his jeans for what felt like the 30th time since sitting down.

“Sorry.” Frank nodded, scratching at his temple. “So errr, do you need me to do something or...” “In a manner of speaking, yes.” Alan said “As you know Paul is retiring at the end of the year, which means the Head Mechanic role is up for grabs…and I was wondering if you’d be interesting in taking the position.” “Me?” Frank’s eyes widened slightly

Alan nodded “I know in the grand scheme of things you haven’t been here long but you’ve impressed me, just like Bill said you would. You knuckle down, you do the overtime if needed, you don’t complain…I like you Frank, and the team does to.” “I err…” Frank scratched the back of his neck. “I’m flattered…but I’ve never managed a team before or…”

“You were an Assistant Professor at one stage right?” Alan eyed him and Frank sighed, nodding “You must have had a research team…” “Yeah, but…” “It’s no different.” Alan shook his head, “And I’m here to help and give you some guidance. I’m not quite ready to retire fully yet. Not like Bill, only so much golf I can play before I go fucking nuts.” Frank snorted “Yeah, not gonna lie, it’s not my thing…” Alan looked at him “The duties won’t be that much different Frank. You’ll just be in charge of booking the jobs in, allocating them to the guys, keeping on top of deadlines and general management of the team…means a little less time spent actually getting your hands dirty but…well, you can manage that yourself. You wanna take a job you take it.”

“Can I take a bit of time to think it over?” he asked.

“Sure. Take a few days, let me know. I’d like to have whoever is taking over in a position to start the handover by the start of October if possible so…” “Thanks.” Frank nodded “I’ll give it some thought.” “Oh, and it also comes with a Ten thou a year raise…” Alan casually dropped in as Frank stood up “Plus a bonus each year of up to 20 percent, depending on how well you’ve done on your targets” “Just a minor detail you forgot to tell me.” Frank arched an eyebrow.

“Well, I wanted to make sure you’d consider it for the right reasons not merely the financial incentive.” Alan shrugged “Another reason I’m convinced you’re perfect for the job.” Frank nodded and with that he left the office. Given that it was almost lunch time he took his break 15 or so minutes earlier and headed out into the September sun, pulling out his phone.

“Hey Sailor.” Fliss greeted him.

“Hey Cowgirl.” he smiled, leaning against the hood of his truck sipping a bottle of water “You got a sec.” “For you, always. What’s up?”

“Nothing, nothing bad anyway…I just got offered a promotion.”

“Frankie that’s amazing!” She gushed “You sound surprised though.” “I am, a little.” he said, before he launched into an explanation of what Alan had told him and what the job would entail, plus the financial incentives.

“Wow!” she said as he finished talking “Baby, that’s fantastic. I’m so proud of you!”

Frank felt himself blushing at her praise, and despite the fact he couldn’t even see her he rubbed at his neck slightly. “So, you think I should take it?” “Of course I do. But at the same time, if you don’t want to then…you don’t have to. This is a great position to be in honey, Alan’s clearly seen your potential.”

“Just not sure If I’m cut out to be management.” he said, biting his lip.

“I had the same thoughts about my business you know.” she spoke gently “I wasn’t sure if setting up on my own after everything that happened was gonna work but then Dad told me that I’d never know unless I took the plunge. Have a little faith in yourself. The only person who doubts your capability is you.”

Frank smiled at her words and looked up and out over the Marina “You always know exactly what to say.” “Not really, I make most of it up as a go along.” she said and Frank laughed. “But, just think, with the extra money you can get a new car…” “There’s nothing wrong with my truck.” “Frank, it’s died on you 4 times in the last 2 weeks. Dad reckons his ride on lawnmower has more power under the hood than that thing”

“Ok, I’ll admit…she’s getting a little clunky…but she is into her twenties now….” Fliss snorted “You could get yourself a nice Audi…”

“Fuck off.” Frank said and she laughed

“I like Simon’s car…” “You like it so much you get one.”

“Would never fit Thor in the back.” she said and Frank had to concede she had a point “But now you’re freelancing…you don’t actually need a truck do you?” “No, but…it’s handy…” “Handy, baby it only has three seats…” “And a flatbed…” Frank pouted slihglty. “So get one with five seats.” she shrugged. “You can buy trucks with a full cab…”

“This is not a good enough reason to get me to take the promotion…”

“You want a better reason?” She said. “Ok, well here’s some food for thought…when the lease is up on our place maybe we could look into buying. You know I don’t wanna rent forever, I want us to have something for the future that’s ours, and the extra money you get a year would make a difference in what we can borrow towards it.” And just like that, as always, she’d managed to sideswipe him. He’d be lying if he hadn’t considered getting back on the property market, he had savings after all…but he’d given it no more thought than a fleeting idea every now and then when he drove past places with real estate signs in the front yards

“This mean you’re coming round to the idea of marrying me and having baby Franks and Flisses?” She snorted “You’re such a dick…although that’s the only time you’ve ever mentioned that when you’re sober.” “So you’re saying that if I ask you when I’m not drunk you’d say yes?” he teased. “Goodbye Frank…” She teased in an airy voice, before she cut the call.

Chuckling to himself he slid the phone back into his pocket and headed back inside to grab his lunch from the fridge in the kitchen. As he did so he passed Paul who was heading out with a fresh cup of coffee.

“Oh, erm…Alan…” Frank looked at him. “So, turns out I don’t need as much time to think about it as I thought I did. I’ll take the job.” Alan smiled at him and pat him on the shoulder “Good man. I’ll get the wheels in motion and then we can work out how we start to transfer Paul’s responsibilities over.”

Frank nodded at him as he walked off.

“Oh…” Alan called after him, “We’ll also need to pick your car.”

“My car…” Frank frowned.

“Yeah, did I not mention? Paul’s BM…that’s a company car. I’m gonna let him keep it as a retirement present so we’ll need to order you another one. Not least because I don’t want my Head Mechanic driving around in that heap of shit you have. Looks like we don’t pay you enough…” Frank stood there, eyebrows raised as Alan simply smirked at him and left. Shaking his head, he gave a little groan, already imagining Fliss’ face when he told her.

*****

Fliss had reacted exactly how he had thought she would, laughing hysterically and then teasing him about how he had no alternative now than to get rid of the heap of shit he was ridiculously attached to. She’d then spent the evening looking at cars on her phone, showing him ridiculously pimped out vehicles in various vile colours, the final straw being a hot-rod red for Mustang with gold rims and flames painted down the side. At that point he’d snatched the phone out of her hand, grabbed her hips and pulled her down under him on the couch and given her something else to think about for half an hour or so.

September ticked by, in the usual speed by which time seemed to be flying for Frank and he found himself thrown into his job, soaking up Paul’s experience of managing the team as much as he could. He was also extremely grateful for both Fliss and Bill’s input, both of them having dealt with managing staff and rotas so he was able to ask them both questions as well. Naturally, when V heard about it she insisted on cooking him a special dinner, and even Evelyn presented him with a very nice bottle of Scotch when she came to visit as a Congratulations.

Another bit of good news for them was that once Fliss changed her phone number the calls stopped as well. Frank was glad about that, because it meant that once again they’d thwarted the ass holes attempts to intimidate her. She’d made a blog, however, of every call she had gotten which now sat in Greg’s files along with the Card. Just in case.

Nope, on the whole life seemed to be going well for the pair of them.

“Someone’s looking smug…” Greg teased Frank as he leaned back in the chair around Greg’s large outdoor table. It was a Saturday at the start of October and they’d finally got round to having that cook out and gathering that the Circle of Truth had been attempting to organise round everyone’s schedule for the last 3 months.

“Well, you know…life’s pretty good.” Frank smiled, sipping his beer, his eyes straying to Fliss who was stood around the bar area to the right of the garden with Bonnie, Zara and Lisa. She was dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a tie-died off the shoulder sweater but as usual, she looked stunning.

“You got a ring yet?” Jake asked, dropping down into a seat next to him.

“Oh don’t you start as well.” Frank groaned as Simon and Greg both laughed. “We’re happy as we are…besides, we’ve not even been together a year yet…” “Not far off.” Jake shrugged “Man, when you know you know…” “He’s just scared she’ll say no.” Simon teased. Frank stilled for a moment and then turned to glare at the man. “Shit, you are?” Simon frowned “No, not especially but…” Frank shook his head, trying to find the words to explain “I’m absolutely, totally convinced I want to spend the rest of my life with her, and I know she feels the same but…well she’s been married before and I don’t want to ask until I know she’s ready to do it again.”

Greg looked at him, nodding “I get that.”

“That’s gotta be the most grown up think you’ve ever said…” Jake looked at Frank who flipped him off but deep down he had to admit, it wasn’t wrong. He knew that both he and Fliss had come a long way from the people they had been just over 14 months ago when they had first met. Fliss had come alive, flourished even in herself, and he…well, he’d learnt that there was more to life than the meaningless cycle of one night stands and that flying by the seat of his pants wasn’t always the most productive thing to do. Both of them had been broken in their own way, had their own guards and walls around themselves which the other had managed to smash straight through. He stole another glance at Fliss and smiled, he knew there was no other woman for him, but in the same breath…what was the rush? They had a life time. And a ring and a piece of paper wasn’t going to change any of that.

“Man you grew up…” Simon grinned and Frank rolled his eyes.

“Look, I’ll have you know I’ve brought up a kid since the age of 6 months…all this shit about me being a man child…It’s crap…”

“Whatever man…we all know you’re not a grown up until you have scatter cushions on your sofa…” Simon teased, referencing the previous week when he and Bonnie had come over for drinks and Fliss and Frank had had a jokey argument about said cushions. Frank threw his head back in a huge bout of laugher, shaking his head.

“Fuck you!” he said, looking at him as Simon grinned.

“Anyway, man…speaking of weddings…” Greg turned to Jake “You’ve been engaged for what? Three years now…when you gonna set a date?”

“He has a point…” Simon looked at him.

“Well, you can all shut the fuck up because for your information we have.”

“Shut the front door!” Greg grinned

Jake nodded and took a large mouthful of his beer.

“So you gonna tell any of us or…” Jake glanced over at Lisa before he yelled her name and she looked over at him, the other women also looking up.

“Can we tell them now babe?” he called. Lisa grinned and nodded, and then made her way over followed by Zara. Fliss looked at Bonnie who shrugged, and the two of them picked up their drinks and followed.

Fliss perched on Frank’s knee and he slid one hand round her waist the other dropped to her thigh.

“So, we have set a date for the wedding.” Lisa smiled to a huge shriek from Zara. Frank spotted Fliss looking at Bonnie, the two of them sharing a significant smirk and he squeezed her thigh.

“Stop being a bitch.” he said in a low voice.

“Rude…” she mumbled, grinning into her gin. “6th April next year…” Jake grinned. “At Hardemans Secret Garden in Dover, Tampa.” “Well unless you invented a time machine, it ain’t gonna be this year is it?” Simon looked at him, before he gave a yell as Bonnie slapped him round the back of the head.

“Obviously you’re all invited.” Jake said, “Except for Simon.” “Hang on, if he isn’t coming does that mean I can’t?” Bonnie pouted.

“You can be my plus one.” Fliss nodded.

“Oi…” Frank nipped her thigh gently. She grinned at him, ruffling his hair slightly. He jerked his head out of her reach and looked at her over his aviators. She stuck her tongue out at him and he grinned.

“Guys this is great news…” Greg said, nodding “Best dig the suit out.” “You wear a suit to work every day.” Zara looked at him.

“And you won’t need to.” Jake shook his head. “In fact none of you will…my brother is best man, obviously, but I’d like you guys there as my Groomsmen…that is, if you’re up for it.” Frank smiled at Greg, then Simon before they all shrugged.

“Yeah, I’m in…” Greg smiled.

“Me too pal, I’m honoured.” Frank smiled, tipping his beer bottle in Jake’s direction.

“Does this mean we get to plan the Batchelor party?” Simon asked. Jake nodded with a grin and Simon leaned back “Oh this is gonna be beautiful….”

***** “You’re fucking mental.” Frank looked at Fliss as she shrugged, circling Cap back round to the jump which Joanne had just hiked up another foot. He shook his head and turned away “I can’t watch.” “Don’t’ be a chicken Frank.” Mary grinned up at him, “It’s cool…I wanna do that some day.” “Over my dead body.” Frank looked down at her.

“Yeah you said that about me going to Boston.” “No, that’s not what I said.” Frank sighed, looking at her “I said over my dead body were you going to live with Evelyn….and did you?” “No…” Mary conceded “But you’re letting me go back for a weekend.”

“Yes, because you’re going for 2 nights and coming home” he said, and despite himself he turned his head to see Fliss sail Cap over the huge jump.

“See….” Fliss said, pulling the horse up to a stop “Easy…” “Whatever you say sweetheart.” he shook his head.

“Can I jump Monty soon?” Mary asked, and Fliss smiled.

“Yeah we can do a little cross pole…” “I give in…” Frank groaned, throwing his hands out to the side “The pair of you are nuts.”

“Says the guy who almost cried when he had to order a new car.” Fliss looked at him and Frank rolled his eyes “I mean who does that?” “Yeah Frank…” Mary said, swinging off the fence to the paddock, leaning back to look at him. “You get to swap a rust bucket for a shiny new Mitsubishi and you were like heartbroken.” “Hey, me and that truck have seen a lot of action-“ “I don’t wanna know…” Fliss started.

“Of which you’ve been part of…” he smirked her and she flushed a little, grinning. “I’m kinda attached to it.” “It’s a lump of metal.” Fliss looked at him.

“How dare you.” Frank scoffed, feigning offence.

“Well now you can have new adventures in the new truck.” Mary shrugged “Simples.” “When you do get it I vote the first thing we do is load it up and head off for a picnic somewhere.” Fliss said, hopping off Cap.

“I can go with that.” Frank nodded as she turned and walked towards the gate, letting her out.

“Can I take him?” Mary asked, hopping down off the fence.

“Sure…” Fliss said, handing her the reins. Mary led the horse away to the barn as Fliss removed her hat and pulled out her bobble, shaking her long hair free before she tied it back up again.

“I really do like it that colour.” Frank mused after a second, watching her. She blushed a little, and he knew why. A week ago she’d come back from the salon, her usually bright auburn hair was a lot more demure, having had caramel put through the ends. When Frank had complimented her on the change she’d gotten a little shy and said that she used to have it like that when she was younger, but John had always wanted her to keep it her natural colour. Now she felt like she fancied a change. Her admission had once again, knocked Frank for, how simple little things like that were so huge for her.

She pulled off her riding gloves, shoved them into her back pocket and they walked into the barn as Mary opened Cap’s stable and led him inside. As always, the large horse bowed his head gently to allow Mary to undo his bridle and Fliss smiled. Cap was secretly her favourite after Heidi. He was such a loving animal, despite his size always being so gentle and careful around people, especially Mary. Most animals were like that around her, she just had this aura that they seemed to like. But then again, everyone said that animals were a good judge of character.

“Can we go to the shack for dinner?” Mary spoke up, looking at Frank “It is Saturday…”

“Oh, I dunno…” Frank sighed, “Not sure my heap of shit truck will get us there.” “No but Fliss’ jeep will.” Mary shrugged and Frank shook his head with a snort.

“You literally have an answer for everything.”

“Wonder where she gets that from…” Fliss looked at him and he nudged her gently with his elbow.

“So can we go or not?”

“Yes, ok we can go to the shack.” Frank said “But the deal is you tidy your room when you get home. It’s a disgrace.” Mary pondered this for a moment as Fliss undid the girth on Cap’s saddle, pulling it off.

“Deal.” she nodded “Only Fliss said she was gonna help me sort my clothes out…some of them don’t fit anymore.”

“Yeah we do that tomorrow morning.” Fliss smiled, “Then we can look at ordering you some warm stuff for New York.” “Are we still getting matching sweaters when we get there?” “No.” Frank said, at the same time Fliss nodded.

“Yes.” “No, we’re not.” Frank looked at her.

“Errr 2 vs 1 Sailor, you’re outvoted.” she shrugged, pushing past him with the saddle on her arms. “But if you’re a good boy we’ll let you pick them right Mary?” “I dunno.” Mary frowned “Have you seen his shirts?” Fliss let out a roar of laughter and turned to face her, before she looked at Frank, laughing even harder at the pure indignation on his face.

“I hate you both.” he said sullenly, folding his arms.

The Shack was busy by the time they arrived but given that it wasn’t too cold they managed to find a small table outside and ordered their food, Mary getting through an astonishing amount considering but the Frank had noticed she was going through a bit of a growth spurt which he mentioned to Fliss when they were snuggled up on the sofa later.

“Not sure getting her any stuff for New York yet is wise.” he mused “If she carries on like she is it won’t fit her.”

“Well we can wait…Fliss said shrugging, her hand rubbing at Frank’s stomach under his shirt. “You have no idea how excited I am…” “Really?” Frank snorted “You never mentioned it.” “Oh piss off” she laughed, before she sighed happily “It’s the one thing I miss about home and Boston…you know this time of year the leaves would be changing colour and falling,…”

“I know what you mean.” he said, his hands carding through her hair “You don’t really Seasons here.”

“Well you do…” Fliss said, “Hurricane and Summer.” Frank let out a laugh as she looked up at him. “You know you’re my hurricane.”

“What?” he looked at her

“Came into my life, blew it all upside down…” “Jesus you talk some shit!” he laughed, shaking his head as she grinned.

“You know there was actually a hurricane Frank back in 2010. So I’m not talking complete shit…” “Whatever Sweetheart…” he snorted, leaning back as her nails scratched against his stomach. He gave a twitch and grabbed her wrist, and looked down at her as she flashed him a coy look. “Stop it.”

“What, this?” she moved and used her other hand, and Frank let out a hiss as he shifted and grabbed that one too.

“You know what that does to me…” he looked at her, his voice low.

“Yup.” she nodded, grinning.

With a jerk of his arms he pulled her forward so she fell onto him fully, drawing a giggle from her as her nose bumped against his.

“I fuckin’ love you.” he smiled at her, and she grinned, giving him a soft kiss.

“Yeah, you’ve told me once or twice…” she smirked, her lips locking onto his.

******

“Fliss?”

“Office…” she called back, and a second or so later Joanne popped her head into the room.

“Everything’s done.” she said, “I was gonna lock up…you’re not normally here this late.”

“Yeah I know but I have some paper work to sort. Need to file a couple of things and, well, thought it would be easier to do it here than take everything home. Frank’s taken Mary bowling so…” “And you’d rather be here doing paper work?” Joanne teased.

“Sadly, it needs doing…besides, last time we went I kicked his ass, again, he sulked for hours.” Fliss snorted “Maybe he stands more of a chance against Mary.”

“Won’t he let her win?” Joanne asked “I mean, she is only eight…”

“No chance.” Fliss looked at Jo. “He says that she needs reminding every now and then that she’s not a genius at everything…” Joanne let out a laugh “Fair enough. Ok, well I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, bye Jo…”

Fliss set about getting to work, filing the various bills and disclaimers she’d had signed and started then sifting through the list of clients and payments, checking who owed what and typing out the bills for the month. Once they were printed and placed in envelopes, ready to be tacked to the stable doors in the morning she glanced at the clock and realised it was almost 8 pm. Frank and Mary should be home now.

She was just about to pack up when she realised she hadn’t gone through the post for the day. For a second she debated leaving it for the morning, but decided she would get it over with. There wasn’t much- mostly a couple of letters from various equestrian societies around the area about a few events going on, but the last one she reached was a manila envelope with the address typed out on the front.

She turned it over, opened it and then pulled out the contents and immediately felt her blood run cold as she looked at the paper in front of her. It was a copy of the photo of her and Mary, taken from the first Blog that Mary had written over the summer. Underneath it was typed a simple message- I always knew you’d suit motherhood.

Fliss swallowed, it didn’t take a genius to work out who it was from but for the first time since his ridiculous campaign now she was actually frightened as to the meaning behind this. Up until now it he’d been nothing more than annoying but this was designed to be more than an aggravation.

It was a threat. A direct threat telling her he knew about Mary.

Whilst Fliss wasn’t Mary’s mother, and would never claim to be she loved that girl like she was her own and the fact that John was even brining her into this made her feel physically sick, so much so that she felt the bile rising in her throat and with a sharp heave she lurched to the side, grabbing the waste paper basket and hocking up the bitter substance. Coughing she wiped the back of her mouth with a shaking hand, reaching for the bottle of water on her desk.

She folded the photo up and stuck it back in the envelope, shoving it in the drawer before she stood up and locked her office, heading to her jeep. Her mind was reeling, now it wasn’t just her he was focussing on, this changed everything. Did she tell Frank? She knew she should, she couldn’t leave Mary in danger. Not that she believed any harm would come to her, not really, especially not under Frank’s care but that was another worry she had. That if she told Frank this, it was really going to push him over that edge into blind rage, and he’d been on the first plane out to Boston, hunting the fucker down…and then what?

He ended up in jail himself because Fliss knew Frank well enough to understand that if that blind rage took hold, he wouldn’t stop.

She had no answer to this, nothing. She sat in her jeep, staring out of the window, trying to force the thoughts and mumbles and voices in her heat to quiet, so she could think clearly, get some form of grasp on what it was she needed to do. And then one voice was screamed at her, clearly, giving her a solution…the only one she could viably see working.

With a loud sob, Fliss covered her face in her hands, unable to see an alternative to the decision she had just reached. A decision that was going to break her heart more than anything had ever done before.

******

“Hey, you’re late…” Frank looked up, immediately frowning as he saw Fliss’ face. “Honey…what…” “Where’s Mary?” she asked instantly.

“She nipped to Roberta’s” Frank said “I know it’s late but we saw her as we were headed out of the car and she wanted to collect something for Show and Tell tomorrow…why?”

“We need to talk.” Fliss said.

Frank stood up off the sofa and walked towards her, he reached for her and she took a step back.

“Ok, Fliss, you’re scaring me now…what…”

“I think…” Fliss looked down at her hands “I think that we need to stop seeing each other.”

Frank blinked, not sure he had heard her right, but when he looked at her he saw a tear trickling down her face and she was avoiding his gaze. The world around him began to fade and a dull buzzing filled his head and rang around his ears as a horrible cold feeling washed over him.

“Lissy…” he swallowed, his words sticking in his throat “What’s brought this on? Did I do something? Are you not happy? I don’t understand…” “I just…it isn’t working for me…” she took a deep breath and looked up at him.

“You’re lying.” he said instantly, he could see it written all over her face “Fliss, what’s going on?” “Nothing, I’m sorry. I just…I need to leave, I need space.” she said “I’m so sorry Frank…” Frank took a deep breath, and watched as she turned to leave. After a second he hurried after her into the hallway, shaking his head.

“Lissy, please…talk to me…” he all but begged as she walked to the door. She made to open it but Frank was behind her and placed his hand firmly on the top of the PVC, causing it to shut. She spun round and looked up at him, the tears now pouring down her face.

“Please, Frank…don’t make this any harder than it is…” her voice was broken, and she shook her head. “I don’t understand what THIS is?” he looked at her, running a hand through his hair as he felt the stinging of tears in his own eyes “Last month we were talking about buying a house together and now you just wanna break it off, for no reason? Honey, just…whatever is going on, we can work through it, just talk to me.”

“I’m so sorry…” she whispered, “Just…let me out…please…”

He looked at her again, her eyes bouncing across his and he knew instantly he couldn’t stop her, and would never do that to her either, no matter how much he so desperately wanted to lock the door and force her to tell him what the fuck was going on. So with a sniff he forced himself to step back and her hand went to the door knob, her shoulders shaking.

“Liss, please…” his voice cracked. “Don’t do this…”

She took a deep breath and opened the door, the warm air from outside hit him in the face, tears stinging his eyes slightly before click of the latch hit his ears as the door shut behind her, leaving him stood alone in the hallway, stunned and utterly, utterly broken.

**** Chapter 21

#riding high #frank adler #frank adler x ofc #frank adler x original female character #gifted #gifted fan fic #chris evans #chris evans characters

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dansnaturepictures · 3 years

Photo

7/8/21-Return to Blashford Lakes

Today we went somewhere we hadn’t been for seventeen months and five days. A place that with its splendidly varied habitats which hosts a huge variety of birds throughout the year rare and common, and is strong for butterflies, moths, dragonflies and mammals too and was one of our most crucial and one of my favourite nature reserves in my late childhood and teenage years as I got hooked on birdwatching, wildlife generally and photography and I have always loved it since. Over the years there tended to be a barren spell of us going there over the summer as we maybe focused on more butterfly and other insect dominated locations this pattern developing into my working days a bit as we did come during summer holidays in my school/college days but all year throughout the winter especially this hub for wildlife has been a regular haunt for us for so long. But after that last visit on 1st March 2020 obviously Covid hit and the you could say main feature of seeing wildlife at this reserve is the hides, so it is a reserve good for piling into hides with lots of people looking at birds so obviously not good during Covid times. I have to say the team did work very hard to get the reserve open safely without the hides post lockdown 1 and we did explore the idea of coming back to enjoy this at a stage but due to one thing and another we sadly never quite managed it. But following 19th July the hides now are open with the welcome precautions still in place of masks to be worn and every window that can be opened.

A Black-necked Grebe that had been reported on Ibsley Water attracted us here especially today which we needed to see, and it allowed for this sweet reunion with a place I hold dear. During all the discussions of things you will do when lockdown eases or when we find our way to some kind of normal I felt extremely lucky as I have been able to do my main hobby still just because of what it is. But this was one thing on my list of things I wanted to get back to, getting back to places like these so hide dominated reserves. Prior to today since Covid hit it was only Sculthorpe Moor in Norfolk last September and an open screen/hide type area at Newborough Forest in Anglesey this June that I’d been to hides at.

As I walked in at the visitor centre side of the road entrance it was great to be back and one difference from when I last came here is obviously how vastly more interested I am in flowers now and other areas of insects too. And on the verge at the entrance was a lovely moth mullein which I took a photo of and tweeted on Dans_Pictues tonight one I learnt today. St. John’s-wort and yarrow adorned this patch of grass too and there was a lovely little deraeocoris ruber insect on the yarrow a new one for me which was delightful to see. A big thing about my deeper delves into flowers and other insects over the months has obviously been learning so much and it was the sign of the times back at one of my favourite nature reserves that I was only stood on a grass verge beside a road entrance to the site for two minutes or so and I’d learnt two new species!

I then proceeded across the grassy area to get to ivy north hide the first hide I went into in Hampshire since March 2020 and it was stunning to see the fields carpeted in St. John’s-wort, ragowrt and catsear/hawksbeard type flowers making it look deliciously yellow with thistle, black mullein, self-heal and others looking very pretty too. I took the first picture in this photoset of this area. I also liked seeing one of my favourite flowers foxgloves, purple loosestrife, centaury, wild parsnip, dock and Wood avens and Herb-Robert great woodland species that I hadn’t seen for a while still going strong with shadows of cow parnsnip as well throughout the reserve today. On the field area I noticed a beautiful moth flitting around which I got great views of landed on vegetation a smashing Treble-bar a new moth for me today which I also tweeted a photo fo. A welcome life and year tick for my moths and as my eighteenth identified moth species seen this year it levels (whilst I didn’t do a year list then, I worked this out recently) the amount of moths I saw and knew what they were in 2020 which I am pleased with. And whilst I might not ever be able to know every moth I see its more than justified me reinstating my moth year lists recently as I’ve seen more identified moths than dragon/damselflies and mammals two more year lists I keep beside birds and butterflies the main ones this year so far. I also did here today maybe my penultimate Big Butterfly Count this year with the survey ending tomorrow I had never done one here before and I saw three Gatekeepers and one Small White and Speckled Wood between the showers. A splendid Southern Hawker paraded over this area which I saw on the way out and back.

I reached ivy north hide and among other things I came away impressed with how Covid secure the reserve is to visit as to save going into the hide if one wishes they have added a little open air viewing screen next to the hide which is interesting. As well as lovely views of ivy lake decent numbers of Sand Martins and a Common Tern parading over the water welcomed me back as key Blashford birds at this time of year and I’d not seen either for a few weeks now whilst having a really good year for them both. By the visitor centre I liked seeing some elecampane and mint in a very colourful flower bed area which I took the second picture in this photoset of seeing a nice bee on it too. Before spending some time at ivy south hide and seeing much the same wildlife wise to ivy north with Common Tern flying very nicely over and young Black-headed Gulls among the gulls out there and taking in some nice views I went in the woodland hide.

At this hide one of my absolute favourites with such intimate views available of feeding birds behind the glass where you can see them but they can’t see you as a shower came and went and some brightness emerged I liked seeing the memorable species of this area come one by one. Firstly a Robin one of some seen across the reserve today a fitting one as on that 1st March 2020 visit I took one of my favourite ever pictures I’ve taken of this iconic species. Then the commoner tits were there with Dunnock, soon to be followed by Marsh Tit coming to feed. Coal Tit and Chaffinch would soon follow as wood delicious looking Nuthatch. And I was stunned and got some very exciting moments when a dominant and large flash of red, cream and black arrived in the form of a Great Spotted Woodpecker (GSW). You can’t come to Blashford and the woodland hide and not see these, one of the species that has captivated me most at this reserve right from when we very first visited the bird of Blashford for me for so long with so many times waiting, watching and hoping and loving seeing and trying for photos of. I took and tweeted a photo of this bird, not the best in an awkward angle a little with it more so on the other side of the feeder than my side but having not been here for nearly a year and a half and how important the GSW is to our Blashford visits I was inclined to take whatever I could get if in the summer days when less birds come to the feeders with food available naturally I was lucky enough to see one. And whilst I’ve been so lucky to see and hear these birds a lot elsewhere since last March it was probably my best chances for pictures since this a species I did photograph from this hide on 1st March 2020 too so it felt so good to be back getting such a prolonged view of it. I rarely see many species on a feeder at the same time as the woodpecker they are that dominant but Great Tit and others did stand up to it and be on the feeder at the same time today.

It was exhilirating to see a Jay and then another fly in displacing the dominant woodpecker and seeing a shaggy looking Jay especially dash past the window getting a striking view I thought it was going to crash into the window at one point. A spectacular moment and I loved getting pictures of them again this year today including the third picture in this photoset I have had a good year for them. Two standout moments on this trip today with two of my favourite birds. I took the fourth and fifth pictures in this photoset of the body of water on the way to ivy south hide and a lovely view of ivy lake there.

I then met up with my Mum who had returned from a dog walk at nearby Rockford Common with Missy to end the day in the tern hide. There was no sign of the Black-necked Grebe for us as I arrived after a shower but I did see a lot else. This included an early Goosander, a key staple of a Blashford winter this female was something of an early one and we got a pleasant view of this distinguished duck I took the sixth picture in this photoset of this with my bridge camera which came to life in this hide alongside my DSLR for photos I certainly in summer days where maybe it happens less felt I got my fill of bird photos at this top bird spot. I loved seeing the young speckled Lapwing in the seventh picture in this photoset of a nice intimate view I got of this wonderful wader. There were many Egyptian Geese around too I got some stunning views of these including the one in the tenth picture in this photoset. This was my bogey bird this year one I struggled to see quickly which I usually see without too much trouble due to not coming to Blashford we didn’t see any until Fishlake Meadows and then Petersfield Heath Pond in June seeing an extraordinary amount at the latter with Ruddy Shelduck too. Seeing them all here today it was as though we never needed to worry about seeing one this year. There were top views and more photo opportunities of another of my favourite birds with Great Crested Grebe, and I enjoyed seeing gulls including Lesser Black-backed Gulls well. Another pick of the bunch on Ibsley Water was a sweet little Common Sandpiper a key bird for this spot, a third seen this year by me which has been great after RSPB Lodmoor and Stour Vallye nature reserve in Dorset over two days in our April week off of day trips. The top bird moments were set nicely to dramatic scenes as a further showers moved in and their were touches of sun as well looking over the smashing Ibsley water and I was so glad to be back at Blashford. Its interesting sat in the tern hide on Ibsely Water an area overlooked by the further along Goosander hide and Lapwing hide too, I saw Common Tern some more as well as Lapwing and Goosander. With the Goosanders mostly in over winter any terns the spring and summer migrants you would not see them together so this must be the first time I saw all three in a day which I found very interesting. I took the eighth and ninth pictures in this photoset of the views here.

An always likely sight in the woodland hide at Blashford greeted us when home this evening when a Sparrowhawk flew up from the garden and over the other gardens, appearing to have had a kill with some feathers left in the garden. This was so exciting to see. I had seen probably this Sparrowhawk hovering over the area recently and with the noise and numbers from the Starlings coming in lately this was maybe only a matter of time. Its another glorious Sparrowhawk in the garden experience which I feel over the moon to have a little collection going for here and my Dad’s house where I grew up. I liked seeing some new pretty flowers the bright red chrysanthemums in the back garden too and alongside nice other bird and sky views at home today it was special to see some Goldfinches including a young bird on the balcony feeders once more. What a brilliant Saturday, I hope you all had a good one.

Wildlife Sightings Summary for Blashford Lakes: My first ever deraeocoris ruber and Treble-bar moth, three of my favourite birds the Great Spotted Woodpecker, Jay and Great Crested Grbee, one of my favourite dragonflies the Southern Hawker, Cormorant, Lesser Black-backed Gull, Herring Gull, Black-headed Gull, Common Tern, Coot, lots of Tufted Duck, Mallard, Goosander, lots of Mute Swans, Egyptian Goose, Lapwing, Common Sandpiper, Sand Martin, lots of Woodpigeons, Blue Tit, Great Tit, Coal Tit, Marsh Tit, Nuthatch, Robin, Dunnock, Chaffinch, Gatekeeper, Speckled Wood, Small White, cranefly just inside the window of ivy south hide and bee.

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hyuniebaby · 4 years

Text

Focus (3)

Pairings: Baekhyun x Y/N x Junmyeon

Genre: a little smut

AU: College student! Baekhyun, Professor! Junmyeon AU, college!au

Warning: masturbation

A/N: This part isn’t as important as the previous part. I just wanted to introduce some of the friends of baek and oc. There’s not much happening, just their friends teasing them. This part also mentions that Baekhyun can’t get oc out of his mind 🤪

Baekhyun is a big flirt but he does NOT sleep around. He likes stability. He likes people who are constantly there. So when he woke up after sleeping with you, he didn’t know what to do.

His previous experiences allowed him to stay in bed until his partner wakes up, but you two weren’t in a relationship. Wouldn’t it be too awkward if you woke up cuddled to him? Is he supposed to be a one night stand? He didn’t want to be a one night stand though. Sex with you was mindblowing. He would even dare say it was the best sex of his life.

Baekhyun also dislikes awkward situations. When he’s with his friends usually when something awkward happens, he’d be the first to break the ice. But in this case it was different. Yes, he flirts with you most of the time you’d cross paths but he doesn’t really know you well enough. It was all flirting and no getting-to-know-each-other-deeply. Will you be mad if he left? Will you freak out if he stays? He doesn’t know! It was driving him insane.

But still, he doesn’t like awkward situations so he opts to leave before you wake up. He doesn’t want to be a jerk and just go out and leave though. He wanted to remain friends with you because he’s going to have to spend a whole semester with you. With this in mind, he grabs a pen and paper and writes a note for you quickly, afraid that you’d catch him doing this. If you do, this situation will be more awkward.

When he’s done with the note, he places it on your bedside table. Then he grabs his clothes and quickly wears them. He spares a glance at you before he reaches the door. You looked so peaceful, so beautiful. As if a spell was casted on him, he walks back to your bed and places a kiss on your forehead. And then he leaves.

When he reaches his dorm, he was surprised his roommate, Jongdae was still awake. After all, it was three in the morning. Jongdae squints his eyes on him. “Where have you been?”

“Uhh... I... uh...” Baekhyun doesn’t know how to answer. He scratches the back of his head while he tries to come up with an excuse.

“Nevermind. Tell me about it tomorrow when you’ve gathered your mind.” Jongdae dismisses him. Baekhyun sighs with relief. He goes to his room and lies on his bed. Still tired from the activities that happened, he falls asleep with you in his mind.

Baekhyun dreams of you. He dreams of you sucking him off in his car. Your mouth choking on his dick while you massage his balls. You sucked him off until he came and swallowed all his cum.

He wakes up with a jolt and realized he had a wet dream about you. He stares at the clock and realizes it was already noon, good thing he doesn’t have classes today. He stands up and showers. Thoughts of you still running in his mind. His body instantly reacting to the thoughts of you. As if his body has a mind of its own, he reaches for his member and strokes it.

You were naked and on all fours. You were so wet for him. Baekhyun inserts two of his fingers at once in your pussy. You moan out his name. Once you were fully prepared for him, he slams his dick inside you. He fucks you hard and fast, the bed creaking as he does so. His hands go to your tits, pinching your hard nipples. One of his hands then travels to your clit while the other continues to play with your boob. You were both nearing your climax. You tell him to cum in you. His thrusts go impossibly faster after you say that. After a few thrusts, your walls clench on his shaft. You felt so good.

He moans out your name as he releases. You were driving him crazy. How was he supposed to face you after he masturbated at the thought of you?

When he finished cleaning and dressing himself up, he goes out of his room to grab something to eat.

“The prince has finally woken up,” Jongdae loudly says.

Baekhyun ignores him. He grabs some ramen from the cupboard and starts heating up some water.

Jongdae takes this opportunity to talk to Baekhyun.

“So, what happened last night?”

Baekhyun sighs, he knows Jongdae won’t leave him alone if he doesn’t start talking.

“Last night, you looked...” Jongdae’s eyes widened at the realization, “I know! I know! You got laid!” He exclaims.

Baekhyun nods in confirmation.

“Wait... You have a new girlfriend?”

“No!”

“But you don’t sleep around!”

“I know! That’s why I don’t know what to do in these situations!”

“You’re too pure,” Jongdae coos.

“Fuck off.”

“So who’s the girl?”

“I’m not sure if you know her. You don’t really interact with sophomores.”

Jongdae gives him a look that screams “So what?”

“She’s Y/N.”

“Y/N? As in Y/L/N Y/N? The one with friends who are always dressed to kill? I’ve worked with her before, we trained together for some Chemistry quiz bee or whatever.”

“She was in your quiz bee team?!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Jongdae casually says. “But isn’t she too... plain for you?” Jongdae knows Baekhyun’s type. He’s been his friend since high school so he’s basically met every single one of Baekhyun’s past lovers. He knows that Baekhyun adores pretty women. Pretty, sexy, slim. Modelesque.

In Jongdae’s eyes, you were very timid. Smart, timid, simple. He has only ever seen you talk so much whenever you’re with your friends. You don’t even talk unless spoken to. You would never make the first move. Could it be? Could it be that Baekhyun made the first move?

“She’s cute okay!” Baekhyun pouts.

“Fine, fine. Geez. So how was it?” Jongdae moves his eyebrows up and down.

“Fuck off Jongdick.” He turns around to continue making his ramen.

Jongdae laughs out loud at Baekhyun’s lame attempt to insult him.

“Guess I’ll find out myself.” He teases.

Baekhyun has never whipped his head so quickly at a statement. “Don’t you dare!”

Jongdae raises his hands as if surrendering, trying to look serious but failing to wipe the smile off his face. It was either (a) the sex you and Baekhyun shared was amazing or (b) Baekhyun’s getting so whipped about you but he’s oblivious about it, Jongdae thought, but he doesn’t say anything.

He lets Baekhyun be, trying to come up with a plan to approach you. He’s free the whole day after all.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

You wake up with a jolt, body feeling sore from yesterday’s activities. The first thing you looked at was your clock. It was 9:00 AM. FUCK, your classes starts at 9:30. You’re going to be late! The ride to your college takes up 20 minutes so you only have 10 minutes to prepare. As much as you wanted to skip shower, you can’t, you were sweaty and sticky. You already know your day is going to go wrong, great, just great.

You try to walk to the bathroom as fast as you can, as fast as anyone can move when their body especially the nether regions is sore. You opt to wear a skirt today, not wanting to go through the pain in wearing jeans. You grab a sweatshirt and put on your shoes and dash outside your house. Disoriented because you were running late, you didn’t even notice the note Baekhyun left on your table.

You ran so fast after paying for the cab, people gave you weird looks. You didn’t care though, afraid you’d get scolded by your professor in Analytical Chemistry. He was old and very strict about time. When someone comes in late, he “targets” them the whole day, asking questions that were far advanced than what should be discussed. It was scary and you don’t need scary today.

You opened the door forcefully and all eyes looked at you. Thank god, your professor wasn’t there yet! You release a breath of relief and sat towards your usual place. Your friends immediately facing you.

“I forgot to set my alarm!” You instantly said before they could ask. It was amusing to them, you were never late.

“It’s okay to be late you know,” Seulgi says.

“And be Mr. Jung’s target? No thanks! I’d rather die.”

Your friends laughed at your exaggeration.

“Look who decided to skip the jeans and finally wear a skirt to class,” Mina notes as she sits beside you. She came in a few minutes after you. She woke up late too but she lives just around the block so she looks a lot less haggard than you did. “You only wear skirts outside the classrom. You look better in it, you should do it more often.”

Before you could respond, all of a sudden Joohyun gasps and your group of friends look at her. “Is that a hickey?” she whisper-yelled while pointing at your neck. All your friends whip their heads to look at you.

Your hands immediately went to cover your neck. “It’s a mosquito bite!”

Of course no one believed your excuse. If you were them, you wouldn’t too. They bombarded you with questions. “Who did it?”, “How was it?”, “Home run?” You were flustered. As if on cue, your professor enters the room. Your friends immediately stopped talking and faced Mr. Jung but not before giving you a look that says “Tell us all about it later.”

You know there was no winning with them. They would tease you all day until you caved in. So you half listened to Mr. Jung’s lecture and half thought of how to tell your friends about it without telling them it was Baekhyun who you slept with.

You didn’t want to dwell so much on Baekhyun because, well, he left before you woke up. And although he had no obligation to stay, you considered him as a friend. And friends talk, right? Just to be clear on how they move forward after that...

You know your friends are crazy about Baekhyun, but quite frankly, they are crazy about all guys who have amazing bodies and stunning smiles like Kim Jongin, Park Chanyeol, even your professors Mr. Kim Junmyeon and Mr. Kim Minseok. You aren’t as vocal as they are but you have to admit, these men have a way of making you feel giddy just by looking at them. If your friends were to know you did it with Baekhyun, they’d be so jealous but they wouldn’t mind. They‘d be supportive. Boys are just boys anyway.

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starrybethany · 3 years

Text

Maybe Someday - Matthew Tkachuk Imagine Part 3

Part 1 Part 2

Word count: 4.0K

Hockey equipment is so expensive. Even used skates are around fifty dollars- at least the good ones. I know the cheap ones will break as soon as my clumsy son steps onto the ice.

“What are you doing?” A voice close to my ear asks, causing me to fumble with my phone in my hands.

I shove it deep into my pocket, turning around to face the person with guilt at being caught shopping on the job. I sigh in relief when I see that it’s just Matthew with an amused smile on his face. He shoves his hands into his pockets, tipping back on his feet, raising his eyebrows at me.

I blush, suddenly remembering that he asked me a question.

“I’m looking for equipment for Wyatt,” I confess.

“Oh, get him some Bauer,” he suggests.

“Yeah, but it’s so expensive,” I sigh, the price tags flashing through my head.

“Here, come with me,” he reaches out, grabbing my hand. I barely have the time to recognize the fireworks shooting through my hand at the contact before he’s tugging me down a hallway.

“Where are we going?” I ask curiously, silently begging myself that my hands aren’t sweaty or cold.

“I think Charlie just said something about his son outgrowing his skates,” he informs me, pushing open the door to the locker room before I can react. I lift my other hand to cover my eyes, a deep blush covering my cheeks at the thought of being surrounded by half-naked men as Matt shouts, “Pretty girl in here boys, cover up!”

My cheeks get even redder at those words.

“Hey, you can open your eyes now,” he pokes me in the side teasingly and I squirm at the action, moving my hand from its position in front of my face. A familiar blonde stands in front of me, a kind smile on his face as his eyes meet mine.

I try to hide the shock on my face at seeing him. When did Charlie McAvoy get traded to Calgary? I really have been out of the hockey loop for a long time.

“Charlie, what did you do with Luke’s old skates?”

“I think they’re just hanging in the garage right now, why?”

“Can we have them?” Matt questions eagerly.

“Please,” I add.

Charlie’s grin widens at that and he nods. “Yeah of course. Can I ask why?”

“I’m going to teach her son how to skate,” Matt informs him, nodding his head over in my direction.

I take that as a chance to introduce myself. I’ve never actually met Charlie, since I met Matthew early into his career with the Flames, but I have heard stories about him from when they used to play together. I loved when Matt would tell me the stories about all of the crazy things he and his old teammates used to do together.

I wonder if they still do the wild stuff they used to do.

“I’m Y/N,” I state, reaching my hand out to shake his hand.

Charlie grips it softly, a concentrated look on his face as he shakes my hand. “Wait, why does that name sound so familiar?”

“Oh, this is, uh, my ex-girlfriend, Y/N,” Matthew expresses awkwardly.

“Cheating ex-girlfriend Y/N, right?” It’s like Charlie says it before he can think about it because his face immediately transforms into an ‘oh shit’ expression as soon as he realizes what he’s said.

My heart drops into my stomach and I wince at the thought of my previous actions. I didn’t realize we were still holding hands, but Matt releases my hand from his and my hand falls to my side.

I swallow uncomfortably, shifting on my feet. “Uh, yeah. Um, do you want any money for the skates, Charlie?”

I try brushing past the awkward interaction but it’s clear that there’s tension in the air now instead of the playfulness that it used to be. “No, you can just have them. I’ll just give them to Matthew at tomorrow’s practice.”

“Okay,” I nod, “Thank you so much. I’m going to go, get back to work and everything.” They nod silently, watching as I numbly walk out of the locker room.

It’s like I can breathe again as soon as I step foot out of that room. How ridiculous was I to think that it would be easy to get past something like cheating on Matt? Although it was a few years ago, I don’t blame him for still holding some kind of hurt or resentment. There’s nothing I can do about it now except continue to feel completely apologetic and that’s the worst part.

If only I didn’t do it in the first place.

But I also feel like I needed to cheat on Matthew just to get to where I am right now. I needed to get my heart broken from Matt’s broken heart to grow as a person and to get the two beautiful babies and the college degree I have now.

I can’t help but feel guilty for benefiting from cheating on someone. And not just someone, Matthew. Matthew with his expensive golf clubs and vast inside jokes with his family and his undying love for the city of St. Louis. And not just once, three times. I had to fuck Matthew over three times in order to become a better person.

I freeze in my spot at the thought of something. What if I hurt Matt again? What if I fuck him over again? Not on purpose this time, of course, but I could do something, anything, to bring up the memories of me breaking his heart.

It’s something I can’t take back. It’s something we can’t just get over. So as much as I love Matt’s stupid curls and gleaming eyes, I have to keep it to a friendship base. I can’t do anything to hurt him again. He deserves better than that.

“Be careful, Wyatt,” I warn him, the giggle escaping my lips betraying my words. The huge chunk of ice cream on his spoon drops onto his shirt, causing the green to turn brown at the contact.

He looks up at me in shock, blue eyes wide and round. I can’t help but to laugh even more at his reaction.

Curtis reaches over, picking up the sweet substance with a napkin and dabbing lightly in hopes that it won’t sink in. It clearly won’t work by the apologetic look he sends me, but I don’t mind.

He’s three, he’s bound to get messy sometimes.

“Good game tonight, N,” Curtis compliments his daughter, taking a bite from his own turtle sundae.

“Thanks daddy, did you see me slide into home plate?” She asks eagerly. Despite seeing her father sit on the bleachers for the whole game, she still wants to make sure that he saw her every move.

“Yeah, that was a great slide, honey.”

“I’m, I’m excited to go, skating,” Wyatt stutters through his words, still focused on his cup of ice cream.

“You’re going skating? When?” Curtis asks, sending me a look. I send him a sheepish one back. Sometimes I forget to tell him things and then he gets upset, understandably. It’s hard to co-parent sometimes.

“On Saturday! Mommy’s friend is teaching me,” the young blonde cheers, clearly oblivious to the small amount of tension that’s now in the air.

“Mommy’s friend, huh?”

“It’s Matt,” I confess.

Now Curtis looks surprised. “You’re talking to Matthew Tkachuk again?”

“Yeah. We’re renovating the Saddledome and I’m in charge of the project and I ran into him and he found out about the kids and how Wyatt wants to learn how to skate, and well,” I ramble, nodding at the end.

“Do you like… like him?” He asks awkwardly.

Curtis and I aren’t shy about our relationship statuses anymore. I’ve met plenty of his girlfriends, he’s met plenty- well, that’s a lie, I don’t date a lot, a couple of my boyfriends since the breakup. It’s not uncomfortable, we’re totally over each other by this point.

But with Matt it feels different. Matt is part of what caused our relationship problems in the beginning, beside my infidelity. I was so beyond in love with Matt and I feel like it left Curtis feeling insecure when it came to us.

So, to bring Matt back into the picture brings up a sore subject for us. But, truthfully, I miss Matthew. Not just in a boyfriend-way, but I miss having him in my life in general. And despite knowing how Curtis feels about him, I’m going to see him and talk to him because I can’t stay away from the curly-haired boy.

“We’re just friends,” I reassure him. “He’s just going to teach Wyatt how to skate because it’s what youpromised him, remember?”

Curtis freezes up at that, staring down at his melting sundae. “Oh, yeah. Right.”

I turn to Naomi. “Now, honey, how was school today?”

Of course, it’s a stressful Friday. The shipment for the lounge room’s flooring was delayed, the demolition crew found mold in the walls, Kelsea won’t answer her phone so I can’t tell her any of the information, Naomi didn’t want to go to school this morning, and all of my business pants were dirty so I had to throw on jeans today so I look unprofessional.

Honestly, I’d rather be in my pajamas right now, snuggled up and watching Hotel Transylvania with my kids.

“Is there any way we can get it on a truck to arrive on Monday or Tuesday? Yes, I realize that it’s Friday, ugh don’t put me on hold,” my protests go ignored as the familiar music rings through my ear.

A chuckle causes me to lift my eyes from the floor. My eyebrows instantly unfurrow at the sight of Matt and it feels like all of the stress lifts off of my body.

I can’t believe the effect this man has on me.

“Having a little trouble there?” He questions, a toothy grin on his face.

“The flooring got delayed and- yes hi, I’m calling about the wood flooring for the Scotiabank Saddledome,” I say through the phone, hope filling my veins. Instantly my body slumps. “Yes, I’ll hold.”

The hockey player cackles at that and I lean forward to swat at his shoulder playfully. “It’s not funny,” I whine.

“It seems pretty funny to me,” he continues to laugh while I can’t help but smile at him. He always looks so carefree while he laughs.

“Anyways, I just wanted to ask you if the kids were excited for tomorrow.”

“They’re so excited. Wyatt won’t stop talking about how much he wants to skate,” I gush.

“And Naomi?”

“Naomi’s more excited to see her brother fall,” I shake my head with a sigh, but Matt laughs again. “She’s six, Matthew, she shouldn’t be looking forward to that!”

“Oh, come on, Y/N, it’s her younger brother, it’s a sibling rivalry thing,” he brushes it off.

“You would know all about sibling rivalry,” I smirk at him. He nods in agreement.

“And you… are you excited?” The aura suddenly turns serious at the question and I know there’s much more weight to it than just feeling ecstatic to see my kids learn something new.

I nod, raising my lips into a soft smile. “Yes, I’m excited, Matthew.”

“And you have the address, right?”

I nod. “Yep, you gave it to me a couple days ago.”

“Do you want to exchange numbers? You know, just in case you get lost,” he begins to blush at that. It’s the first time in my life that I’ve seen Matthew remotely embarrassed or shy. Usually he’s very outgoing, outspoken, confident. It makes me curious as to why he’s so shy now.

“Sure.” I continue to wait on hold as we exchange numbers and as soon as the interaction is over, someone begins to speak over the phone again. “Yes, hi, the floors were delayed, and I was wondering if I could get them here sooner than their rescheduled date.”

The hockey player continues to look back at me as he walks away but I keep my eyes away from him. The less intimate interactions we have, the better.

“Mommy, can I have the Cheez-Its?” I fiddle with Wyatt’s seat buckle, sighing in frustration as it gets stuck once again from all of the juice and crumbs spilled on it. “Mommy, can I have the Cheez-Its?” Maybe this way, a little bit. Nope, that didn’t work. “Mommy, I want the Cheez-Its!” Naomi pushes into the back of my legs, causing me to stumble and hit the door of the SUV. A curse slips from my lips. “Mommy, you just said a bad word. Can I have the Cheez-Its now?” I lean forward, grabbing a bag of Cheez-It’s from the box of snacks I leave in the car and turn around to hand it to the six-year-old.

My eyes catch Matthew standing on the porch, leaning against a beam with an amused expression on his face. I can’t get over the way he looks in the gray sweatshirt he’s wearing and black sweatpants. It feels very domestic, like it’s meant to be, him showing my two kids how to ice skate.

I turn back to Wyatt, fussing with the buckle some more before it finally loosens, allowing me to lift my son and set him the ground.

“Mommy, I want to go up,” he whines, tugging at my leggings as I close the door to the car. I’m too exhausted to fight him so I pull the growing boy into my arms, putting my hand out for Naomi to take. She looks at it, wrinkles her nose, and shoves another Cheez-It into her mouth. I sigh at her teenage-like attitude, leading them up the porch to the waiting Matthew.

“Hi Matt,” I greet him.

“Quite the process to get them out of the car, aye?” He teases.

I roll my eyes at him. “Aye? You’re Canadian now, huh?”

He shrugs at that, leaning down to be on Naomi’s level. “You must be Naomi. I’m Matt, your mommy’s friend.”

“She told us,” Naomi says through a mouthful of crackers, “She also told me that you’re a Cardinals fan!”

I chastise her for speaking with her mouth full as Matt is sent into a fit of laughter. “I am. Maybe you could become a Cardinals fan, too.”

“No way, I love the Cubs,” she proclaims, “Anthony Rizzo is the best!”

The older man turns his attention to the toddler cuddled in my arms. “And you must be Wyatt.”

Wyatt turns in my arms, snuggling his face into my neck.

“He’s shy,” I explain simply, rubbing my son’s back comfortingly.

Matt nods but I don’t miss the hurt that flashes through his face at the reaction. But my kids are very different. Naomi’s not afraid of new people, she’s very expressive and loves to talk. Wyatt, on the other hand, would prefer to spend all day by my side only talking to me, Naomi, Curtis, and his daycare teacher.

“Well come on in,” Matthew opens the front door, ushering us in with his arm. Warm air hits me instantly and I look around, taking note of the modern, open-concept house.

“Wait is this your house?” I question.

He nods patiently, watching as I take it all in. It looks exactly like how I expect his house to look. It may be a little too big for one person, in my opinion, but then I remember that I don’t know much about his personal life.

Although there’s no wedding ring on his finger, that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have kids.

“Do you want a Cheez-It, Wyatt?” Naomi asks her brother.

He nods, peaking out of my shoulder to grab the cracker from his sister. Matt and I watch the interaction.

“Why don’t I show you guys the rink?” Matthew offers, leading us through the enormous house to the backyard. It’s a big backyard, an ice-skating rink right in the middle of it. The lines on the surface shows that Matt’s already taken a few laps on the surface.

“Cool,” the six-year-old cheers, running to the side to stare at it. Wyatt wriggles in my arms so I set him down, watching as he runs over to his sister’s side.

“Well, I can tell they look a lot like their father,” the tall man jokes from beside me, motioning towards their matching blonde hair and blue eyes.

I roll my eyes but nod. “It’s not fair that I spent eighteen months carrying them in total yet both of them look like Curtis.”

“Curtis, huh?”

I glance at Matt from the corner of my eye, unsure of where he’s going with this.

“Is that one of the guys you cheated on me with?”

I freeze up at the question. I should’ve been expecting it. I deserve this question; Matthew deserves any answer that I can give him.

It’s just… hard to hear the words out loud.

“No, he was actually your rebound,” I admit, “We just dated longer than a normal rebound relationship would last.”

Matt nods in understanding. “Dated?”

“We broke up a few years ago. Shortly after Wyatt was born,” I confess, pushing away the questions of why he was asking.

“That had to be rough, a toddler, a newborn, and a broken heart,” he states.

“It was,” I agree, an adoring smile spreading across my lips as I gaze at my two little angels. “But it was so, so worth it.”

I look over at Matt to see him already watching me with an expression of admiration. His eyes flicker down to my lips in a moment of thought and I just want him to lean forward and place his lips against mine.

But I can’t do that. Even though I’ve become a better person, I’m sure I remain that horrendous person in his mind.

So, I cough, walking forward to join my kids at the side of the rink. “You ready to ice skate, kids?”

“Yeah,” Naomi cheers, Wyatt hesitantly nodding.

Matthew joins our side with four pairs of skates in his hands, two pairs much smaller than the other two.

“Who are these for?” I ask in confusion as he hands me one of the larger pairs.

“You, of course.” He’s already putting his skates on.

“What do you mean me?”

“You’re going ice skating with us,” he gives me a ‘duh’ look before helping Naomi out of her shoes and into the skates. My heart swoons at the sight.

“No, I’m not,” I laugh.

“Yes, you are,” he argues, holding her hands as she takes unsteady steps. “I’m going to help your brother now, okay, Naomi?”

She nods, stumbling around more as he helps my son into his ice skates.

“I don’t know how to skate, Matt. I’m too old to learn, anyways,” I come up with an excuse. Truthfully, I just want to watch him interact with my children. I also don’t want to give him the added pressure of teaching the three of us how to skate instead of just two influential, spirited kids.

“You’re not too old, you’re like, thirty,” he scoffs, helping Wyatt onto his feet.

I scoff, reaching out to swat at his arm playfully. “I’m younger than thirty.”

“Then get on the ice,” he smirks at me. I barely have the chance to roll my eyes before he offers, “Here, I’ll even tie your skates for you.”

Somehow the ice skates end up on my feet. Matt ties them with delicate hands, then they slide up to hold my ankle gently. He looks up at me with soft eyes and all I want to do is bend down and kiss him like my life depends on it.

But a loud thud snaps us out of our moment, and I look over to see Naomi fallen over on the ice- when she even got on is beyond me.

“Oh, Naomi, be careful,” I cry, rushing over and stopping at the rink’s edge, unsure of how to even get on the surface.

“Here,” Matt touches my waist to move me to the side, stepping on and helping Naomi stand up. He holds Wyatt’s hands tightly and helps him on the ice, gripping my wrists next to guide me onto the surface.

I grip at his forearms nervously and he squeezes my wrists, a reassurance that he’d never let me fall.

I mostly watch as he teaches the kids how to skate. Wyatt’s a quick learner of the skill while Naomi is not, which makes her frustrated. I have to tell her a few times to just give it some time and practice. I’m not the best skater ever, but I’m not as competitive as Naomi is.

“I’m doing it, mom,” Wyatt squeals as he skates around the ice, Matt trailing behind him to catch him in case he falls.

“I see you, great job buddy,” I cheer.

Matthew looks over at me and I lose my breath. Seeing him in his natural element, on the ice, curls wild, a smile beaming across his entire face, chasing behind my child- I’ve never loved a man more in my life.

And it’s such a shame that we’ve had the past that we have. What I would give to be his wife, the mother of his children, just the person he loves and spends his time with.

But I threw that all away years ago.

He gives me a look of concern, obviously sensing the inner turmoil going on inside my head. I try to give him a reassuring smile, but Matthew is good with emotions, so he can probably tell that it’s a lie.

Naomi stopping on the ice next to me whining about how she’s thirsty interrupts our moment, but for once I’m glad that a moment between me and Matt got interrupted.

My mind was going to a dark place, but it can’t right now- right now it’s about my kids and my kids only.

I pack the kids back into my car a few hours later, Matt carrying a sleeping Wyatt and a half-asleep Naomi barely able to buckle herself in.

“They’re great kids,” he tells me as I close the door.

“Thanks, they really are,” I respond, rocking back and forth on my feet. I don’t know why I’m nervous now. This is Matthew, you dated him for several months and introduced him to your kids.

“What are you guys doing next weekend?”

“Oh, they go by their dad every other weekend,” I answer, not wanting to answer for myself. Sitting at home, watching reruns of 90 Day Fiancé and judging other people’s love lives while mine is nonexistent.

“Oh, well if you’re interested, I’d love to have you over for dinner. I make a mean plate of spaghetti and meatballs,” he grins.

I let out a weak smile. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Matthew. Just with our history and everything- I think it’s best- well, um, first, thank you for teaching the kids how to skate- and me, how to skate-“”Organize your thoughts, Y/N,” the hockey player somehow manages to let out a small chuckle through the impending rejection.

“I really appreciate your effort with the kids. But I think that our relationship would strictly have to just be skating lessons, if you even still want to teach them how to skate,” I respond apologetically.

“Oh,” he shakes his head vigorously, a sign that I recognize when he’s just been told something that he doesn’t like. “Yeah, I can still teach them how to skate. Just, um, let me know when works best for you guys.”

He takes a step back. It’s not just a step back from me physically- it’s a step back from us. From our relationship, what could have been if I just had enough guts to give it a chance. But I have too much respect for him to do that.

“Matthew-“”No, no, it’s fine. Drive safe, okay? Text me to let me know you get home alright.”

He’s closing his front door before I can respond.

But I’m not even sure what I would say.

#NHL imagines #hockey imagines #Matthew tkachuk imagine #Calgary Flames imagine #NHL imagine #bmsomeday

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writingbakery · 4 years

Text

“tapewebs”; a series 🕸

hanta sero is just your regular everyday japanese-american immigrant college student, living in the heart of brooklyn. when miles morales collapses on the windowsill of his shitty one bedroom apartment, life gets.... a hell of a lot more interesting 🕷

[a spiderman! sero au one shot series, featuring class 1-A, hanta sero, miles morales, an assortment of marvel villains, & you, dear reader - the object of one tapespider’s affections ✨]

[pairing; sero x gender neutral reader 🕸]

[warnings; fluff, violence, action, angst, romance, & a lot of tape/spider puns 🕸]

“Sticky Note Origins”

───── ⋆🕸⋆ ─────

the city is prettier up high, sero realizes. granted, he wishes he’d come to that conclusion on solid ground, without his feet nervously planted on a skyscraper ledge, but still.

every whip of wind threatens to topple him over, send him careening down into a frenzied spiral of buildings and colors until he meets concrete at the bottom - and he’s supposed to willingly jump.

he wonders if he’ll pass out before his bones meet solid mass, cracking in so many different ways the coroner’ll have to play connect the fragments until he’s a person again.

behind him, an impatient cough sounds, bringing him back to the task at hand. fuck.

you’re probably wondering how he got here. let’s rewind a week.

one week earlier

at ten pm on a friday, the city is in its prime, bustling crowds of people laughing and stumbling through the brightly colorful streets. hanta’s just trying to protect his pad thai & dumplings, hugging the greasy paper bag to his chest as he weaves in and out of the chaos.

a day full of long classes & a quiet shift at the cafe-slash-bookstore halfway between campus and his crap one bedroom apartment leaves him exhausted, shoulders hunched as he makes his way home. nobody ever sees him regardless - the city’s too big for one lanky, always tired beanpole to be much notice.

despite living in brooklyn since he was four, he’s never felt a hundred percent comfortable here - he had an accent right up until he was thirteen, still trips over certain words and customs that don’t exist back home in japan. he’s awkwardly tall, not enough to be a phenomenon but towering over all his family. he just doesn’t quite fit anywhere - too smart and plain to be popular, too boring to be with the jokesters, too awkward for the nerds. he’s been a loner all his life, and while he doesn’t mind too much, he just wishes it was a little easier to belong.

a text rolls across his phone screen as he’s shuffling songs, skipping some j-pop rock song to settle on kendrick lamar as he smiles. you. he couldn’t lie and say he was completely alone, not when he had you in his life.

you were a year younger than him but twice as smart, skipping a year ahead and landing yourself in hanta’s high school freshman english class. the pair of you had just... clicked, from the very first moment he pointed to shakespeare’s likeness on the cover and mocked “what, you egg?!”

your laughter had left him on cloud nine the entire day, and he made it his personal mission to hear that beautiful little giggle at least once a day for the rest of his life.

a lovely friendship had bloomed from there, the two of you joined at the hip - if you were somewhere, hanta was bound to follow & vice versa.

you’d even gotten into the same college, albeit for drastically different majors - he was a biochem/engineering double major, while you were an english/history double major. you were opposite but similar in so many ways, and the way you both completed each other didnt go unnoticed by sero.

you were his puzzle piece, the bits of him he’d never been able to fill easily made whole by your presence.

he could never tell you, however; your friendship was too precious to risk, especially over his dumb, emotional heart.

sending a string of laughing emojis towards the meme you sent, he jogs up the seven flights of dimly lit stairs to his tiny, one bedroom apartment - living in the city wasn’t cheap, & while the elevator was always busted at least he had a doorman, and heat that worked on occasion.

stepping into his apartment, however, he can immediately sense something is wrong; the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, a heavy silence coating the darkness. the air feels wrong, tipsy turvy like the whole place is holding its breath - like something’s on the verge of exploding, catapulting him into chaos and danger.

quietly stepping through the living room, he peeks into the kitchen and bathroom, holding his backpack out like a makeshift weapon - his $200 biology textbook finally going to good use. finding nothing in either dark room, he slowly advances towards his bedroom, carefully measuring every step. at first, the room seems perfectly normal - nothing’s been moved, and it’s just as empty as the rest of his apartment.

and then he sees the blood.

dotting his windowsill in bright, red streaks, the window itself pushed halfway open - but that’s not what stops him in his tracks, eyes so wide it hurts.

spiderman is leaning against his windowsill, covered in blood and panting heavily, one hand held up in an effort to stop hanta in his tracks.

“i need...... help,” he whispers, voice rough and low; hanta’s amazed he can still speak.

he opens his mouth to react, somehow, even steps forward to catch him before screaming like a ten year old girl at a morgue, panic setting in like cold water.

never a dull night in brooklyn.

───── ⋆🕸⋆ ─────

once he’s made sure that spiderman - miles, as the young man bleeding all over his $12 walmart carpet supplies - isn’t going to die anytime soon, hanta’s quick to recover from his shock. bustling around his tiny kitchen to make cheap ramen and digging around in his closet to find his mini first aid kit, he’s in full fanboy mode - he’s got posters plastered wall to wall of miles morales on his bedroom walls, for gods sakes. not that he knew it was miles morales, but still.

miles morales is curled up in the fleece blanket hanta’s mom had sent him his second week at college, and he’s totally not freaking out.

he’d had to cancel his nightly facetime call with you, lying about a stomach bug - he hates keeping things from you, but this is just too big and messy and dangerous. he’ll tell you in due time, he promises himself, trying to ease the coil of guilt in his stomach.

“how did you end up on my windowsill, again?” hanta asks, gently pushing the bowl of noodles towards the injured man. he’s got his own pad thai long forgotten in the microwave, more focused on the superhero who’d gotten his ass whooped on his doorstep, so to speak.

“i told you. i’d been watching you for a while - you’re the most promising candidate i have.” miles’ voice is slick with humor, a sort of teasing confidence that’s clear even through the pain.

“which i’m still not understanding - candidate for what? blood services? biology questions? how to make $20 last two weeks??” he knows he’s being childish, too joking for the severity of the situation, but he can’t help it. the neighborhood’s - and his own - hero is sitting in front of him, eating shitty 33¢ ramen from the bodega around the corner, telling him he’s a prime candidate.

“to take the mantle.” all traces of laughter are gone now, miles leaning forward on the table to emphasize his words. “i’ve been doing this long enough to know when to quit. my body’s giving out on me - i got slammed into a wall last week and couldn’t shake the pain till yesterday. before, i’d be fine within an hour. the city needs someone new, young, willing to take the risks.”

hanta’s ears stopped listening the moment he heard quit. “me? are you fuckin’ joking?” he wheezes, coughing his way past the shock. “i get winded walking up to my apartment! an old lady beat me to the c train yesterday! a strong wind could kick my ass!”

miles is either willfully ignoring him or just can’t hear, plowing ahead with his explanation. “you’ve got the perfect build for webswinging, and you’ve got a good heart - you know when to do the right thing and when to step away. leave the rest up to me, and trust me - i know what i’m doing.”

hanta can’t believe his ears, pushing away from the table to pace around his kitchen in panic. “i don’t till you understand, you’ve got the wrong guy - there’s no way i could be spiderman!” his words are falling on deaf ears - miles is standing too, and he doesn’t seem to care about hanta’s impending panic.

“you’ve got to trust me on this, alright? meet me tomorrow, at this address - 12 pm sharp. the city needs you, hanta - hell, i need you. just have a little faith.”

hanta scoffs at that, throwing his hands in the air. “faith?! i met you an hour ago, bleeding all over my windowsill! that’s not exactly the most- hey! where the hell...” there’s nothing but a blanket, a hastily scrawled address, and an empty bowl where miles had sat, leaving hanta alone with his thoughts.

damnit.

───── ⋆🕸⋆ ─────

hanta pushes through the crowds of people at eleven am the next morning, half asleep but wired enough to power the whole city - hell, the whole goddamned country. he’s running on no sleep, adrenaline, two redbulls & the guilt of lying to you again, his “stomach bug” keeping him from class. he’d told you he was going to visit his parents for the weekend to recover; your sweet messages in response only made him feel worse.

he’s tossed and turned over this decision a million times & yet, he’s still not sure where he stands - it’s so little information, so much responsibility in so little time. he’s still half convinced he’s being punked, if he’s honest.

and yet, somethings drawing him to the address miles had left him, something deep in his gut that tells him he needs to be there. clearly, miles had seen something he himself is woefully oblivious to, and it couldn’t hurt to find out more.

apple maps leads him to a tiny shed somewhere behind a deli & a nail salon, not too far from his apartment, and he’s completely confused. “stupid gps, probably got me lost,” he whines, leaning against the door of the shed to zoom in on his location.

the pigeons in the alley are the only ones to hear his panicked yelling as he phases right through it, tumbling all the way down a metal chute into the dark unknown.

at least, for ten seconds. he lands on a remarkably soft pad of foam, a glass panel separating him from a brightly lit, fancy looking room lined wall to wall with computers, parts and half made suits, spiderman suits. he doesn’t know where to look first.

a robotic, feminine voice brings him out of his shock, the glass panel lighting up with code and writing.

“please enter your name.” hanta is floored.

“uh.. hanta sero?” the voice trills lightly, before a red grid-like laser scans him head to toe. he’s proud to admit he only squealed in terror once.

“identity confirmed. welcome, hanta.” the panel slides away to allow him access, his careful steps alerting the rest of the room’s computers to light up at his arrival.

“you came. i knew i chose wisely.” miles comes into view slowly, limping heavily as he smiles. it’s almost familiar, like he & hanta have been friends for years; he finds it comforting.

“well, not everyday you get to be spiderman,” hanta jokes, fidgeting a little where he stands. “you gonna fit me for a suit or something?” miles just laughs, shaking his head.

“that comes later. first, we’ve got to get you bitten.”

bitten?

───── ⋆🕸⋆ ─────

for the third time in 24 hours, hanta’s screaming like a man who’s just been told he has two days to live.

“you want me to let that thing bite me?! have you lost your mind?!”

miles sighs patiently, holding up the little glass vial to the light; inside, the spider races up and down the glass, an odd orange color to its patterning.

“it’s the only way. no offense, but i saw that lady beat you to the c train. she was like, 85.” hanta’s pouting now, crossing his arms.

“she had a cane and she was agile- hey hey! you keep that thing away from me, so help me god-“

“you’re being dramatic, it’s the size of a pea-“

“that’s a fat ass fuckin’ pea-“

“stay still-“

“i will not- ow! jesus fuck, that thing has tarantula jaws!”

miles carefully shepherds the spider back into the glass, chuckling a little. “it’ll take a moment to cause effect. the original spider was cross-bred with a more agile, lanky species - perfect for your body type. i’m hoping it’ll be most effective in your transition.”

“hoping?” hanta squeaks, staring at the red welt forming on his hand - his visions already starting to blur out, a throbbing pain traveling up his arm.

“well, it’s the first time i’m experimenting with this-“

“you used me as a guinea pig?!”

“it’s perfectly safe! my mentor-“ but hanta’s not listening anymore, the world swimming in front of his eyes before the ground rushes up rapidly to kiss his face.

god. damnit.

when he comes to, he’s wrapped in about half the blankets in brooklyn, a cold compress against his sweaty forehead. he’s burning up, and his elbows hurt for some reason - his skins gone all itchy, and he’d probably kick a pigeon for a glass of water.

sitting up alerts miles to his newly conscious state, the man quickly scanning his vitals with a smaller version of the glass panel hanta’d been fascinated with earlier. “thought you were gonna croak on me. how do you feel?”

“itchy. and my arms hurt.” hanta’s pushing off the blankets as he speaks, attempting to get comfortable - his body feels weird, like he’ll burst out of his skin at any second.

“alright, don’t panic. i need to see how it’s mutated your body. stay still.” miles’ fingers delicately press against his neck, shoulders, before jabbing at his ribs without warning. hanta’s arms shoot up on impulse, a trail of sticky, precise webbing escaping him from his...... elbows?!

“what the fuck, dude what the fuck look at my elbows, they’re all puffy and red i’m gonna die, and the coroner is gonna leak my story to the press and my moms gonna see me in the paper with fucked up elbows-“ hanta may or may not be panicking, poking at the tender, slightly swollen skin around the bends of his arms. miles just rolls his eyes, clearly amused by his antics.

“you’re not going to die. japanese tape spiders shoot webbing from the bends of their eight arms; its a thicker & stronger strain of web. clearly, your elbows are how your body has adjusted.”

“that doesn’t make it better.” hanta’s too busy staring at himself to notice the other changes at first, but slowly, they’re trickling in. heightened eyesight and hearing, an odd balance to his feet he hadn’t had a day ago, even itchier fingertips - making it easier for him to grip flat surfaces, or at least as miles says.

“come on. let’s get you a suit.”

───── ⋆🕸⋆ ─────

a week’s worth of planning & adjusting has led him right here to this rooftop, suited feet firmly balanced on the ledge. he likes his suit, thinks it’s unique - he’d modeled it after the spider who’d blessed him with these powers, orange and black and white [miles sort of thinks it’s ugly, but who cares.] he’d been in & out of the fondly nicknamed “spider-lounge”, getting fitted for his suit & honing his new abilities; he’d also been avoiding you whenever possible.

he couldn’t suck you into this world, not when he was barely comfortable in it himself; he kept promising himself he’d come clean, but the guilt’s eating him alive with every sad look & evening alone you spend.

another impatient cough brings him back to the present, miles sitting in the middle of the roof & watching hanta’s nervous stalling. “you’re going to have to jump eventually, you know,” he calls, and it takes everything in him not to turn tail and run.

he has a duty, a responsibility now, and he doesn’t take that lightly. he thinks of you, sitting in your ratty little apartment off campus and remembers that your safety is all but in his hands now; he’s got to protect the city, for your sake at least.

“i absolutely will not hesitate to kick you off this rooftop,” miles threatens, but its empty - they both know hanta needs to do this himself.

one step back, then two, the nerves racing up his spine as he prepares himself to meet cold concrete [a dramatic thought, miles would catch him far before he reaches ground. a bad knee wouldn’t stop him from that.] he says a silent prayer to every god he’s ever heard of and closes his eyes, taking a step forward into the air-

and trips over the ledge, falling ass over heels into the air. nice.

the rushing wind only heightens his panic for a moment, before one arm snaps up to blindly shoot into the air; his spider sense kicks in from there, aiming without even realizing and latching onto a nearby ledge. he swings aimlessly for a moment before finding a new ledge, then a railing; slowly, he finds a rhythm.

he’s soaring through the city before he realizes, laughing at the sharp roar of the wind in his ears - he feels like he’s flying, weightless as a bird. the only thing he can think of is you, how much you’d love this.

one day, he’ll take you webswinging. one day.

for now, he relishes in the fact that he’s one step closer to being brooklyn’s - & new york’s - new spiderman, fresh faced & determined to bring peace to the city.

he’s going to do it for you, even if it kills him.

#bnha sero #sero hanta x reader #sero hanta #spiderman au #sero x y/n #sero x you #sero x reader #bnha x y/n #bnha x you #bnha x reader #boku no hero fanfic #evywrites #tapewebs #one shot series #tapewebs series

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missbugaboo · 4 years

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Soulmate Scam (1)

Adrien knew who his soulmate was. Period. Ever since he'd first met her, ever since his heart had made that cheerful dance of recognition in hist chest, he'd had no doubt that she was the one – the only one – destined for him. If only said destiny didn't have other plans for him.

All sides of the love-square, though mostly Adrienette, SOULMATE AU.

fanfiction.net / AO3

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Chapter 1: No One but Her

Adrien Agreste first dreamt of his soulmate on the very night of his sixteen birthday.

It wasn't anything too extraordinary – it was commonly known that the vision of one's significant other half was bound to appear in one's sleep sometime during the last week preceding or the first week following their birthday. The fact that it was also universally acknowledged that it rarely happened on the night of said birthday (and that the probability of it actually happening was lower that once in fourteen times, as a simple calculus might suggest) made no difference. It wasn't irregular, it wasn't surprising. It wasn't unnatural, either.

It was a little unusual, that's all.

Now, Adrien knew all that. He'd heard various theories about soulmates as he grew up, even though the topic surely wasn't a favourite in his own household. Still, he had friends, and ones that were all eager to discuss the matter with him. Whether it was a four year old Chloe or a fourteen year old Nino (or Chloe again, as her interest in the subject had never quite seemed to cease) didn't matter much. The subject was intriguing, exciting, mysterious; it sparked interest in everyone he knew, even if they were not at all willing to admit it to their classmates like Alix or Max or even Chloe at some point.

How come Chloe was a representative for all the examples his mind brought on?

Well, that didn't really matter, either. The facts were: he was very much into the idea of soulmates. His friends were into the idea of soulmates, too.

And that was not unusual at all.

Of course, the romantic in Adrien clung to the idea, imagining the moment when he would finally learn his significant half's identity. Even as a kid – or maybe especially then? - he found the idea of this half-magical bond alluring, both because of its supposed power over people's life and the mystery that it was still wrapped in. He was probably the only child on Earth who could successfully beat little Chloe in regard of enthusiasm, and one of a very few who did not lose their drive as they stepped into adolescence.

Where others faked indifference, he showed that he was thrilled; while they gave in to fear and anxiety, he spoke about his faith. He wouldn't let the anxiety take over him and extort the joy of wait, and he certainly had no intention of allowing the fear to dictate him his steps.

Which, considering the talk he'd had with his father at the wee age of eight, was a miracle of its own.

And yet, it would be a lie to say that his view on the subject did not change during the years. Not in terms of excitement – that part was a constant, even if the outer indications of it had at some point became more low-key (and well, this time it was Gabriel Agreste's advice at work). The change had nothing to do with age or his classmates' view on the topic and certainly not with the teasing (or cynical) remarks he'd heard from those older and supposedly more mature than him.

Like the ones given by Audrey Burgeois whenever Chloe asked her about it.

No, the real alteration lay somewhere else and though his friends couldn't have said where if they tried to, Adrien had no problem determining it.

He knew.

He knew who his soulmate was. Period. Ever since he'd first met her, ever since his heart had made that cheerful dance of recognition in hist chest, he'd had no doubt that she was the one – the only one – destined for him. No matter how many times she rejected him, he kept believing that it was only a matter of time before she understood the connection and realised what he'd known since day one. He hoped with all his being that she would not need an actual dream to tell her that, but if worse came to worst, he would accept that scenario as well.

As long as she chose him in the end.

That didn't mean he hadn't spent the two weeks preceding his birthday being giddy with excitement, so much that even his father had taken notice of that. Gabriel didn't say much on the subject, obviously, except the casual question of whether Adrien was feeling fine or if maybe his flushed cheeks and starry gaze were in fact an indication of a nearing fever. The boy denied quickly; and yet, he didn't dare go as far as to summon the real reasons for the change in his appearance, even though that meant being sent to bed early in a way of precaution.

He knew all too well how his father reacted to the mere mentions of soulmates.

So he had nodded and followed suit. He'd made sure he acted calmly, both in and out of the house, just to make sure he wouldn't provoke any more questions of the sort. He'd almost started to hope that his father had once again forgotten when his birthday actually was.

And so it had gone on for six long days, during which he'd unconsciously ensured that his behaviour at school was just as indifferent as it was at home. Since he had never made a big deal of sharing any details about his hopes with his classmates, the change was not as noticeable as it might have appeared to be. Nino was surprised but said nothing; Alya teased him with a few comments, but did nothing but that. And as for Marinette...

Well, Marinette had seemed to be a bundle of nerves since the beginning of the week, going from pensive to excited to combative in a matter of minutes sometimes.

He really hoped she was alright.

Still, no matter how much he cared for her, how much he valued her friendship and wanted to prove himself worthy of it, he couldn't bring himself to focus on her state more than on the event he was nearing. Had he had any reasons to believe she was unwell, he would have looked into it no doubt. However, he'd known her for too long not to be able to distinguish real trouble and hurt from what was nothing but confusion on her part.

It was clearly the latter that was happening this time, and Alya's words only confirmed that.

It was fine.

So it seemed to him, anyway. On the night before his birthday he was as agitated as ever, or – since it was the first time when he allowed himself to open up a little about it – even more so. He was eager, he was enthusiastic, he was ready to take on the world. He did feel a little nervous, which was also a first (and probably the reason why it came as such a surprise to him, as predictable as it was) and which was quickly reflected in the way he moved and spoke.

There was edginess in his step as he paced around his room; there was a frown on his forehead and a trembling of his hands.

And yet, none of these could compete with the hope and happiness that filled his soul and fuelled his heart, radiating from his whole silhouette regardless of the anxiousness mentioned above.

It was truly miraculous that he was not glowing in a literal sense yet.

"Oh, will you just go to bed already?" Plagg whined loudly as he munched on his piece of cheese and grimaced at the boy before him. "Seriously kid, you don't even know that you will dream of her tonight. Nobody said it would be on your birthday, and even if, I'd say tomorrow still counts as your birthday night. So calm down, will you?"

"You know that I can't" Adrien answered, with mixture of joy and apprehension ringing in his voice. "It's too great to just push it aside. It's too much and too soon and yet, not nearly soon enough..."

"I swear to Fu, Adrien, you say one more word and I'll throw up all the cheese I've had today," the kwami retorted. "You really are taking it too far."

"I am not," Adrien denied. "Oh, come on, it's the most important night of my life! You could be at least a little more understanding for once."

"I've been more than understanding for the past two weeks. We both know that this fake indifference you displayed in front of Nathalie only worked because you felt you could take it out on me twofold as soon as she was gone. I haven't stopped you, I haven't complained – no more than I usually do, anyway. Still, even my patience has boundaries and no amount of cheese can move them any further."

"Now that's new. I thought your love of cheese conquered all."

"Somehow, it fails to help with a teenage-love-caused nausea."

To that Adrien only laughed, before throwing himself down on the coach and reaching up to scratch Plagg behind the ear fondly. The little creature bristled and wiggled, pretending not to be moved by the affectionate gesture... and then gave in to it completely, purring contentedly in the same way he always did.

Adrien's grin widened at the sight.

"Come on now, I'm not that annoying, am I?" he asked cheerfully as he continued to stroke Plagg's ears and chin. "Also, I bet I'm not the only Chat Noir who fell in love with Ladybug."

"As if that made it any better," Plagg muttered in response. "Seriously, I don't know what it is about that spotted costume that makes you boys lose your minds before you even have a chance to have a proper talk with her. It's unhealthy."

"Oh?" Adrien hummed, amused. "So not only am I not the first to fall for her in general, it's also an all-cats tendency for it to happen soon. Somehow, I feel relieved."

"Before it gets to your head, you should know that your was still a record time. As I said: unhealthy."

"Or maybe simply romantic?" Adrien let out a long, dreamy sigh. He kicked off his shoes and stretched on the coach comfortably, before continuing. "Also, how could I not have fallen in love with her? It's not because she has made some great entrance and swept me off my feet all at once. In fact, she was the opposite of that: clumsy and insecure, a little awkward and surely lacking faith in her own skill. Hell, she was practically drowning in all that self-doubt.... And yet, that didn't stop her from trying hard."

"You mean, she delayed her great entrance for a day and then impressed you twice as much as she would have otherwise."

"You can laugh all you want, I know what I felt," once again, Adrien contradicted him. "And that 'delay', as you call it, wasn't something she'd planned – it was a natural reaction on her part but then it only showed how deep her courage truly ran. How much she had to struggle, how difficult it was to accept that new, crazy path Master Fu had chosen for us... And still, she did accept that. Now, if that's not impressive, I really don't know what is."

This time, Plagg only sighed.

"There really is no talking you out of this one, is there?" he asked wearily, even though his tiny lips were curved in a small smile. "Gosh, you really are hopeless."

"I do care for her, Plagg," the boy lying next to him responded, his own voice having a new seriousness to it. "I know it seems silly. It probably was at first: a shallow crush, derived directly from my being amazed by what she did that day, contradicting Hawkmoth despite her own fears. But even if it was... It's been almost three years now. We became friends, and partners, and... so much more, even if still refuses to see it in a romantic light. She is my soulmate, Plagg. There's no one else that could take that role but her."

"And what if you're wrong?" Plagg suggested quietly.

Adrien shook his head. "I can't be. It's just not an option, not when even the Guardian of the Miraculous called us one another's yin and yang."

"Except in this case the yin and the yang may remain platonic and still work just fine."

For the first time in week's Adrien felt the kind of anxiety that was not accompanied by the usual enthusiasm and faith. His brow furrowed as he gazed up at his friend, his heart speeding up while his blood ran cold; his jaw tightening unconsciously as he thought it over in his mind.

"You can't really mean that."

Once again, Plagg sighed, and flew closer to the boy's side.

"Look, I don't want to scare you here," he explained evenly. "I'm not saying that you should give up on her, or that you should lose all faith and resign yourself to a life with some random girl who will surely take her place. I don't know if she'll appear in your dreams today – heck, we can't even be sure if it really will be today. But that's what this whole thing is about, Adrien: no one can be certain about this thing until it's actually happened. I know how you feel about her; I know you want your special dream to confirm what you've believed so far. And you know that I want you to be happy."

"So where's the hatch?" Adrien asked.

"No hatch. I just... I just want you to make room for a possibility where it's not Ladybug who turns out to be your other half. So that you're at least in some way prepared if that's the case. Can you promise me to try that?"

Adrien's reply wasn't an immediate one. Quite the opposite: the boy seemed to be taking full advantage of the time he had, staying silent for as long as appeared proper to him – and then a little longer than that. Motionless, he lay like he did before, with only his eyes shifting; and even they remained fixed on one spot on the ceiling, after he'd looked away from Plagg's solemn face.

Because that was no light matter.

Adrien was well aware of that, of course. It wasn't that his buoyant demeanour was an act, or that it was his way of fighting the fears that had somehow found way to the very core of his vulnerable heart. He wasn't hiding behind it – simply because he had already faced those fears a long time ago.

How could he not have, with Ladybug rejecting him so many times so far? He might have been naive to some, but he wasn't stupid for sure. He wasn't selfish, either, and for that reason he simply had to consider a situation in which his Lady did not respond to his affection, no matter how many dreams of one another they'd shared.

She meant everything to him – he wasn't going to throw himself at her if she was certain she couldn't love him back.

No matter how much the mere thought of it hurt him.

"I just can't imagine it being anyone but her," he said softly (a little longingly) at last. "I know it still might be. Someone I've never thought of before or maybe even someone I haven't even met yet. But it's like... it's something the logical part of me realises, while the more emotional side screams to forget it as something completely absurd. My brain tells me to keep my options open; my heart calls me a traitor for even considering that."

He rolled over to his stomach and rested his chin on his folded arms. "So yes, I do have room for such a possibility. And if my soulmate turns out to be someone who isn't Ladybug, I promise you to do my best to know her and to love her, even if it's in a very different way. I just -"

He stopped abruptly; then he pressed his face against his arms and muttered, "I just pray to God that I don't have to."

Again, silence fell on the room, with nothing but the sound of the two of them breathing to disturb it. It was Plagg's turn to caress his Chosen, with a gentle touch of his little paw brushing the cheek of the boy he was supposed to protect. Adrien smiled weakly at the display and turned his head a bit, just enough to be able to see the kwami with more than his mind's eye.

"You really should just go to bed, you know," Plagg murmured with his usual fatigue. "Otherwise you'll fall asleep right here and then wake up from discomfort in the middle of your most important night. And you wouldn't want to do that halfway through that soulmate dream, would you?"

"I sure would not," Adrien agreed readily. He lifted himself up and jumped off the coach in one swift movement, yawning and stretching as he stood up. "I still need a shower though – which is all the more annoying if I think it may actually chase my sleepiness away. And not being able to fall asleep, tonight of all nights... Now, that would be far worse than the disrupted sleep you mentioned before."

"Well, I'd say the amount of sleep you've been getting lately is the best guarantee of good rest tonight," Plagg offered derisively. "You hardly slept at all because of your excitement, it should have been enough to wear you out."

Adrien couldn't help but yawn again.

"You're right. It has," he admitted. "Alright, shower it is. Then I'm gonna go straight to bed, tuck myself in and just relax. That should be an invitation enough for my body and mind to feel the sleepiness as well, right?"

And then he was off, determined not to lose another minute of this very precious time. He was back in no time, calm and warmed up, more than ready to face the destiny that – he was sure of it – was finally going to show its face to him that night.

It was a few minutes past ten when he reached his bed at last; it was half past when he finally fell asleep. His dream came to him at three, at the darkest hour and the most trying time.

And when the sun showed itself some time around five...

...it found him sitting up abruptly, with a cold sweat flowing down his neck and his big green eyes wide with shock and fright.

Because he hadn't dreamt of Ladybug that night.

#my writing #miraculous ladybug #soulmate au #adrienette #ladynoir #ladrien #marichat #it's your regular soulmate au except nothing is regular #i didn't want to post it but you guys asked #so you better have fun reading

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