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Varok: Do you love the color of the-
Sylvanas: Finish that sentence, and there won’t be enough left of you to make gloves.
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Liadrin: You can trust me.
Valeera: Okay can I? Because the last time I left you in charge of something…
Liadrin: Ugh! Is this about those stupid tamagotchis?
Valeera: Actually it is!
Liadrin: You left me with six of them, Valeera! Taking care of that many is like a full time job!
Valeera: I left you with six adult Tamogotchis in perfect health, and by the time you swapped back to me, they were all dead. You have to like, actively murder them for that to happen.
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Sylvanas: I wasn’t that drunk.
Jaina: You called yourself ugly.
Sylvanas:
Sylvanas: By the light, I was wasted…
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Sylvanas: I hate you ALL! I have hated you for millennia!
Sylvanas: Except you, Vereesa.
Vereesa: Thanks.
Sylvanas: I merely wish to put you in a jail.
Sylvanas: And fill up the jail with acid.
Sylvanas: Once for everytime you made a catty remark, or asked to speak to the manager, or qualified yourself in every conversation about ANYTHING by saying “What would I know? My husband’s only an archmage of the Kirin Tor.”
Sylvanas: Then, at the end of a thousand years, you would say
Sylvanas: “🌸Sylvanas, I have learned not to do any of these things because I HATED the acid you put on me🌸”
Sylvanas: And I would say
Sylvanas: “That is why I did it, Little Moon.”
Sylvanas: “I did it for you.”
Sylvanas: “And for Quel’thalas.”
Sylvanas: I often think about this.
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Sylvanas: Every time I see Jaina, my heart clenches and I get all nervous.
Velonara: That’s cus you love her.
**Meanwhile**
Jaina: Every time I see Sylvanas, my heart clenches and I get all nervous.
Vereesa: Don’t get too close, you seem to have an allergic reaction.
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Wrathion: You’ll have a hard time believing this because it never happens, but I made a mistake.
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Jaina: Well fuck you all except Sylvanas because I know that’s exactly what she wants.
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Liadrin: Why are you wearing thighboots into battle?
Valeera: What else would I wear?
Liadrin: Sabatons, maybe?
Valeera: Sabatons are for straight people who play couples’ tennis and get divorced.
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Valeera: I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy.
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Jaina: The sky is beautiful tonight.
Ranger-General Sylvanas: You know who else is beautiful?
Jaina, blushing: Who?
Sylvanas: Me.
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Jaina: Fuck you.
Sylvanas, grinning: Is that a promise, Lord Admiral?
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Vereesa: Do you have a bag I could borrow?
Jaina: The only bags I carry are the ones beneath my eyes, hoisting the weight of my crippling existence.
Vereesa: Literally all you had to do was say no.
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Maiev: I don’t have a resting bitch face. My bitch face is always on duty, ever vigilant. My bitch face will rest when its work is done.
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Khadgar: I just tried making a reservation at the library.
Jaina: You don’t need a reservation at the-
Khadgar: But I couldn’t get one.
Jaina: Please stop talking.
Khadgar: It was fully…
Jaina, softly: Don’t.
Khadgar: Booked!
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Anduin: How tall are you?
Jaina: 6’4
Anduin, turning to Taelia: And you?
Taelia: *grabs Anduin by his shirt collar*
Taelia: 5’2.
Taelia: I WILL DESTROY YOU!
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Jaina: Is stabbing someone immoral?
Alleria: Not if they consent to it.
Sylvanas: Depends who you’re stabbing.
Vereesa: … YES?!?!
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Liadrin: Of course Valeera’s dumb. She’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in her body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science!
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