#it's kind of nice in the way it unifies the fandom actually

[haunted-phantom-student]

Shameless writers: "Ian likes how Mickey smells."

Gallavich fans: "Hell yeah he does!"

Shameless writers: "Mickey doesn't like having his ass licked."

Gallavich fans: "Absolutely fucking not."

#I say this with so much love #I get it I just think it's funny how universally we took one of them and ran with it #and completely rejected the other #it's kind of nice in the way it unifies the fandom actually #gallavich #ian x mickey #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #shameless #shameless us

[mroddmod]

HEY i'm here to do that stupid sappy thing where i make a new years post and thank everyone for the great year.

i already said this on twt but i can genuinely say that i have never had this much fun in a fandom before. i've never CLICKED with a fandom and its participants in the way that i've clicked with the stranger things fandom. i've made more finished art than i have for any other franchise, i think. i've never gotten to connect with people and make friends in a fandom like i have with the stranger things fandom. THE FRIENDS IVE MADE ARE SOME OF THE BEST IVE HAD IN LIKE. EVER. you guys are seriously so awesome. NOT TO MENTION ALL THE INCREDIBLE PEOPLE THAT I ALWAYS SEE IN MY REBLOG TAGS AND REPLIES. i've had the privilege to get to meet, know, and interact, with some of the nicest and most talented people ever. it's been such a good year BECAUSE of the connections i've made. SOOOOO i'm gonna list off some of my favorite people and say a little something and TRY to keep it short. OBVIOUSLY THIS IS IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

@astrobei : yeah, obviously you're in here, idiot. you wormed your way into my life way too quickly and WAYYYY too easily but i wouldn't change it (probably. just kidding. or Am I.....). i was a MEGA fan of your writing LOOOONG before i ever even spoke to you, so it's kind of a trip that i talk to you every day now. if you told mod from september that he'd be this tight w suni astrobi he absolutely would not believe you. anyway thank you for making me laugh so much and talking to me all the time even though you should probably be doing better things. keep being you. k love u (maybe) bye

@msquared1414 : MAGS. MY DEAR MAGS. I LOVE YOU SO DEARLY. you are a beacon of light in a fucked up and annoying world. i know i can always count on you for support and a good laugh. im so glad i got to know you over the time that we've been talking. i promise i have more special wips to send u soon. I MISS YOU ALL THE TIME BFF

@cherbearsz : CHER 😭😭😭 do you realize that you're actually one of the funniest people on the planet. did you Know. actually i take it back, you're the funniest. i could be having a shit day and suddenly cher gets in the chat and stirs up chaos and i am feeling like :) again. ty for being you, bro 🤝

@livsmessydoodles : we've known each other for a long time but i feel like i didn't really GET to know you until this year. but i'm so glad i did!! you are such a lively and positive energy that i love to see on my dash, in my notifs, in our group chats, anywhere. you are TRULY a unifying and joyful force. keep up your good energy, so many good things will come to you in life.

@halosketches : sorry but who gave you the right to be this cool. like i wanna know. YOU'RE ACTUALLY THE COOLEST PERSON IVE MET.... i know this is like a cringe thing to say but your vibes are Unmatched. i know i can always trust your takes because your taste in media is the Highest of quality. you're also way too nice. you're insane.

@wynsvre : sarah :((( my bro. my guy. you are an INSPIRATION to me and you always will be in so many ways. you are so real and honest and i value that in you so much. honestly you're just such a rad person. i aspire to be more like u.

@janceezer : KITE!!!!! i actually cannot believe how sappy and sweet you are it's CRAZY that you're just that way. YOURE JUST THAT GOOD. it pleasantly surprises me all the time. you are so down to earth and you care about people with everything you have, and i feel SO lucky to be one of those people. KEEP BEING YOU!!!

@tryingonametaphor : AH BHAVNA you have been an absolute pleasure to get to know this year. i was ALSO a huge fan of yours before i got to know you personally, but i was BLOWN away by how kind you are 😭 you are just so understanding and patient and RIDICULOUSLY creative. you're so cool, it's crazy.

@spacedru1d : MY BFF!!!!! my matching bff. you've been such a good friend and a delight to interact with. you're naturally such a good person without even trying. IVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH DURING YOUR TIME IN UNI but i'm proud of you for getting your shit done and finally getting the gf of ur dreams. I WISH YOU NOTHING BUT THE BEST BFF!!!

okay now that i've gotten all my Real Actual IRL Bestest Friends in the Entire World out of the way....

some other people that i've loved interacting with/seeing in my notifs/seeing on my dash:

@bujomoss, @http-byler, @smoosnoom, @bookinit02, @nnilkyway, @elekinetic, @wiseatom, @andiwriteordie, @paladibun, @noodles-and-tea, @aemiron-main, @caesarexile, and many more im CERTAIN i'm forgetting.

anyway. thanks for an incredible year. HERES TO 2023!!!

#and we're officially one year away from st5 #LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO #big win #sorry this is so long #yk i had to do it to em (express my love for my favorite people) #anyway. yeah thanks for being who u are and letting me get to know you #HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!! #mods talks shit

[unforth]

A Non-Definitive and Certainly Incomplete List of the Differences Between the Qianqiu/Thousand Autumns Danmei Novel and the Donghua

@blacktigersprings commented on one of my Thousand Autumn Liveblog posts, asking about the differences between the donghua thus far, compared to the book - they'd seen the 16 episodes, but hadn't read it yet. After I wrote down what I could remember I was like...ya know what, I should just make all this into a post.

This is non-exhaustive. I am a tired person with a bad memory and a lot going on, so I am sure I forgot things. I'm gonna ping @baoshan-sanren since they're the main person I know who is in Thousand Autumns fandom also, and I'm willing to guarantee they will think of things I didn't, and also probably be able to correct me if I mixed anything up. I'll try to edit this based on new info, if I have the time, and I might post it as meta on AO3? I did that with my list of differences between CQL and MDZS and people found it helpful so...yeah. I'll add a link if a do.

Note that all posts like this rely to some extent on interpretation; what I write reflects my interpretation and understanding of events (...to the extent I remember them...) and others may have read/watched the same sequences and reached different conclusions. I've made specific notes where I think I'm raising a point that's more subjective than others.

This contains spoilers for all 16 episodes of the donghua, and for the equivalent parts of the novel. I did my best not to put in novel spoilers for past when the donghua ends, but there are allusions to subsequent events.

Anyway - vaguely in chronological order of when they happen?

(read more)

Overall, the basic premises of the donghua and the novel are pretty different. In the donghua, there are several primary conflicts - the intrusion of the Beimi/Tujue, the competition over access to the Solarity, the competition between different sects' top masters, and the search for that ring that Yan Wushi has. In the novel, these are all things that exist, but they're not the primary plot, and they're all at least somewhat difference. While the novel has multiple plotlines that focus on different things, looking at it as a whole, the main plot is a political one about control of the Empire, and how different sects are pulled into that conflict as a result of how the Emperor relates to Confucian, Daoist, and Buddhist sects. Which tradition each sect follows is much more important and relevant in the novel. The Beimi/Tujue plot is still relevant and involved, but it's just one thread in the political milieu. The Solarity, which has different and long name in the novel that I never remember - it's like, "the complete works of (some master who's name isn't in my brain" - is in six volumes, and it's definitely still important, but it's importance kinda fades as the novel progresses (though it's still a main piece at the point where the donghua leaves off). The ring is basically non-existent in the novel - instead of it being in Yan Wushi's possession, it's in the possession of the woman who's birthday party Shen Qiao goes to (...Madam Su? Might be her name? I'm sorry, I'm not great with names, and I usually rely on fandom wikis but this one is sparse) - in the novel, she was a disciple of Hulugu, and then she stole the ring and returned to the Empire. That other Beimi/Tujue disciple (...Dong something??) takes it back and returns with it to his clan, if I recall correctly, so it can be used to unify those clans to make war against the Empire.

In the donghua, Yan Wushi is just...generally portrayed as pretty nice, and the YanShen vibes start pretty early - there's an early sign of playful flirting from Yan Wushi that actually seems sincere? At least it did to me. As a result, the YanShen vibes feel a lot stronger than they do in the novel at a similar point in the narrative. In the novel...I'd personally say Yan Wushi has zero interest, romantically or sexually, until well after where the donghua left off, and their relationship isn't canon until nearly the very end, and is always left more implied than...outright. I would personally say that in the novel, Shen Qiao has some feels for Yan Wushi pre-Sang Jingxing, but Yan Wushi doesn't reciprocate (except maybe at a deep level he refuses to acknowledge). It's not until he's healing post-almost-dying (as in, during the time immediately after when the donghua leaves off - I'm trying to be vague to avoid giving spoilers to people who haven't read it) that there start to be some real clear signs that Yan Wushi may have caught some feels, and even then it's complicated. They're complicated. They're also complicated. It's part of what I love about them, lol.

In the donghua, the fight between Shen Qiao and Kunye is shown "on screen" instead of only being described afterwards, and it's revealed almost right away that Shen Qiao was poisoned. Also, a lot of people help Kunye and they all fight Shen Qiao together. In the novel, this fight is off-screen. It's strictly a one-on-one battle between Shen Qiao and Kunye, and the reader doesn't learn that Shen Qiao lost due to poisoning until Shen Qiao goes to Mount Xuandu to confront Yu Ai.

In both the donghua and the novel, when Yan Wushi is trying to turn Shen Qiao evil, he sets up a mission for Shen Qiao and Yu Shengyan, The object of this mission is to kill a family that serves the Hehuan Sect. Shen Qiao refuses to participate, and helps them escape. In the donghua, they don't actually escape, and the "they serve Hehuan" thing turns out to be a ruse; they actually serve Yan Wushi. In the novel, they're actually Hehuan spies, and Shen Qiao still helps them, and they actually escape.

(RAPE MENTION TRIGGER WARNING) In the donghua, Chen Gong betrays Shen Qiao when that jerk noble whose name I can't remember right now (and it's not in the wiki, god the wiki is so slim, I wish I had time to help with that) hunts him for sport, and he doesn't want to die. In the novel, Chen Gong betrays Shen Qiao when that same jerk noble, who as a reputation for using pretty boys as sex slaves, tries to kidnap Chen Gong as a sex slave, and Chen Gong is like, "no no you don't want to fuck me, I know someone WAY prettier for you to rape." (The fall out remains the same in both - Shen Qiao beats up the guy, nothing bad happens to him, and he and Chen Gong part ways).

In the donghua, Shen Qiao goes to confront Yu Ai at Mount Xuandu by like. Literally walking up to the front gate. And then all the disciples for some reason get mad that Yan Wushi comes, even though he...also walked up to their front gate. Why do they even have a gate??? In the novel, Shen Qiao uses a super sneaky back way, only known to disciples, and so it actually makes some kind of sense when Yu Ai et al are like SHEN QIAO WHY ARE YOU SHOWING THE EVIL GUY OUR BACK DOOR?

(NOTE this one relies more on subtext and thus is very open to interpretation. What's written here reflects my personal interpretation, and others may disagree). In the donghua, when Yan Wushi hands Shen Qiao over to Sang Jingxing, they have a chat that heavily implies that Yan Wushi is kinda-sorta-not-so-secretly thinking that Shen Qiao could win a fight (and is probably expecting Shen Qiao to do so by using the demonic core that has been implanted in him). Sang Jingxing also says things that indicate that he thinks that Yan Wushi is setting a trap for him. In the novel, while it's never all that clear what Yan Wushi's motivations are, it becomes pretty clear by the point of the Sang Jingxing fight that Yan Wushi was serious when he said he didn't care about Shen Qiao, didn't consider him worthy, and doesn't care what happens to him. He definitely handed over Shen Qiao with every intention of Shen Qiao getting tortured and raped, and had no interest in saving him. Shen Qiao only becomes interesting to Yan Wushi afterwards. Yan Wushi is never only playing one game, so he may have thought that being pushed into a corner would force Shen Qiao to use the demonic core, but it also seemed to me like he genuinely didn't care - he'd gotten bored, and was done playing with the "new toy" that was Shen Qiao.

In the donghua, there is a shot of someone - the clothing is pretty unmistakably Yan Wushi's purple robe of ultimate purpleness - pulling Shen Qiao out of a river after he plunges to his almost-demise in the fight with Sang Jingxing. In the novel, Yan Wushi doesn't pull Shen Qiao out of the water, after Shen Qiao destroys his meridians in the fight against Sang Jingxing. Instead, Shen Qiao collapses in the mountains, where he is found by Shiwu and brought back to the monastery for treatment.

In the donghua, Yan Wushi is fighting the four masters who have it in for him, and before the end of the fight, Shen Qiao arrives and tries to help him; he fights the four masters solo to try to keep Yan Wushi from using his powers and harming himself, and when he's about to lose, Yan Wushi...uses his powers and harms himself. In the novel, Shen Qiao doesn't arrive until after Yan Wushi has been defeated; he finds Yan Wushi almost dead and brings him to a small village nearby, where he stays with a nice girl and her...grandfather, iirc...and tries to keep them safe while nursing Yan Wushi back to health.

In the donghua, it's kinda implied that Shen Qiao goes to rescue Yan Wushi because, like...he likes him? There's not really a reason given, just that he wants to, or maybe to keep the ring from going to the Beimi/Tujue? In the novel it's pretty explicit that Shen Qiao goes to save Yan Wushi because he believes Yan Wushi's position in the Empire is critical to the stability of the world - and he wants the world stable, so that there won't be more refugees, starvation, etc. That he also may like Yan Wushi is the case but is almost incidental; Shen Qiao is focused on doing the most good for the most people, and that means saving Yan Wushi, because Yan Wushi is critical to the Empire, and the Empire is critical to the common people. (this is a major part of the political themes that are more prominent in the book than in the donghua).

I can't actually remember when Bian Yanmei was introduced in the novel? But I was pretty sure it was around when Yan Wushi sends Shen Qiao to that birthday banquet? Anyway, Bian Yanmei isn't in the donghua at all thus far; in the donghua, Yan Wushi's only apparent disciple is Yu Shengyan.

#thousand autumns #meta #or something #unforth rambles #thousand autumns spoilers

[queencamden]

Do you think that the SIX fandom has become very toxic ????

That’s rather complicated. I’m not totally well-versed in fandom drama, as the major fandoms I’ve been in previously (School for Good and Evil, Six of Crows and Three Dark Crowns) are all fairly chill. However, I have noticed that it has gotten a lot less unified as time went on. I first joined around July (before I got my account, just looking at posts) and it seemed much more supportive then.

I think the fandom has just become very DIVIDED. I, like several others, have become more in the Tudorblr community than the Six fandom at this point, and because of this I’ve noticed a big divide in terms of views of historical accuracy. (That’s the lens I will be focusing on, as I don’t care much about other discourse)

The divide between history fans and Six fans (and the toxicity within fandom this leads to) can be summarized in three main points.

1. History blogs and history-loving fans don’t understand/ are weirded out by fandomey fans.

2. Fandomey fans do not bother to consider the history.

3. Both sides are very aggressive on what they think is right.

Let’s start with the history blogs

They don’t understand the fandom

I hate to say it, but we’ve become the next Hamilton fandom: most Six fans get their info only from the show, and from this have developed their own, fandomey versions of the characters. The Anne Boleyn that the Six fandom loves is not the real Anne Boleyn. The Katherine Howard the Six fandom loves is not the real Katheryn Howard. However, (I saw a post about this once) the fandom is quite good at separating the characters from the actual people. (Most of) us know that the Angry Bible Aunt, Chaotic Heely Gremlin, The Mom Friend, The Dog-Loving Badass, The Babey-Brat, and The Sleep-Deprived Academic are NOT the Six Wives of Henry VIII. Because that is how fandom works. You take the most exaggerated versions of the characters in question and work off of them. ESPECIALLY in theatre fandoms, where most fans can’t even see the whole show. I think that’s why Theatre fandoms have a reputation for being cringy. The exaggerated, fandom versions of the characters are all they know.

I think a lot of the time, more history-focused blogs don’t get that aspect of fandom. Yes, Tudorblr has its own memey versions of these people (Anne Boleyn being extra, Henry being Garfield) but the content that they make are not solely these characters- because in the end the meme versions are characters. It’s hard for history blogs to understand that the fandom versions of the characters, are NOT what the fans actually think these people were like. This can lead to mocking, and attacking Six fans for being “dumb” or “cringy”. Certain blogs that are within the fandom that like the historical figures hate on fan blogs and that is NOT OKAY. For example, I saw a post where someone was making fun of Six the Kids, because they “would never be friends in the modern day”. Yeah..... neither would the Queens. And this is explicitly set in the universe of Six. History blogs should stop being high and mighty over fandoms having fun. HOWEVER.....

Fans don’t understand the history.

This show IS about real people. Who actually existed. In real life. And Six fans who ONLY reduce them to these characters can be very frustrating for people who are interested in the real people. Because Six is so popular the ONLY versions of these people you can often find on Tumblr are the Six versions. And I get it. Really I do. I used to be one of those Six fans who called KH “Kitty” (only for clarification purposes between the Katherines but still) and made memes about Anne being a chaotic gremlin. And then I looked up the actual history and I STOPPED. Not everyone has to go that deep, of course, or stop making these memes (most of them are very funny) but it would be good to respect the historical figures. I understand that it’s hard to do that in an incorrect quote, but maybe do what @sabrianna said in an earlier post and tag the characters as, say Katharine of Aragon- Six, so as not to clog the tags of people searching for the actual historical figure.

Like I said, the problem is not with making exaggerated versions of the queens. That is part of BEING a fandom. It’s not even a problem of using the characterizations from the show (such as chaotic Boleyn) What is the problem, is that many fans DON’T care about the history, or think they know everything about it. They make roleplays, ship the queens, e.t.c. but it’s all very out of character to the real women. I said earlier that most people can differentiate between the fandom queens and the real queens and that’s true. But some fans don’t. Some fans only know the queens from the fanon and the musical and because of that we get stuff like UwU Babey Katheryn Howard or people shipping Boleyn and Aragon, which is actually kind of disrespectful to the historical figures. At best, this leads to ire and harassment from Tudorblr, at worst to actual misinformation about the queens being spread by the fandom.

Both are overly aggressive in what they think is right

This is the big one and the major component of the “toxicity” of the fandom. Six is a musical about raising your voice, so it makes sense that it’s fans would be very outspoken. But it falls into a problem when they refuse to see the queens any other way. When it gets to people harassing others for stating differing opinions just to defend YOUR interpretation of a real person who actually lived, that is wrong. Because often your interpretation is NOT right, or at least limited. For example people who view Elizabeth and Mary as a black-and-white ‘good sister, evil sister’ dichotomy, when in reality they were both just as grey and complex as anyone else. But people will straight-up harass and argue with others who are just trying to explain that Mary’s background caused a great deal of her problems, and that Elizabeth did bad things too.

There’s just a lack of LISTENING which is a problem for a fandom based on history. (I know Six isn’t historically accurate, but a lot of fans are interested in the real queens). History is subjective. In my time researching historical!Katheryn Howard my opinion on her has changed around three to four times and that’s good. You are allowed to have multiple views on a thing, and when someone is trying to explain something to you, you don’t have to dismiss it. This goes for the history fans to. When Six fans make a factually incorrect statement, many history fans tend to condescend or belittle them which, as a Six fan, does NOT make us want to learn more. Simply telling us the true, often much more interesting, situation, DOES. Also, friendly reminder, most of the Six fandom are teenagers, and from what I’ve seen of Tudorblr it’s more of a mix of teens and adults. IF YOU ARE AN ADULT, DO NOT BELITTLE TEENAGERS FOR BEING WRONG. WE ARE ALREADY INSECURE ENOUGH.

Tldr; History fans, treat Six fans with respect, and acknowledge that their fandomey queens are not the queens you know and love. Six fans, respect the queens (and the history fans), do some research, and put *Queen’s Name*- Six in the tags, so that history blogs don’t ALWAYS have to see Six content. Both groups, respect others opinions. Stop constantly trying to prove you’re right. In the case of Six fans, you’re probably not (sorry) and in the case of history fans, most of the Six fandom are new to this and still learning.

Sorry for the long post @thedeadqueensclub I meant to have this finished a while ago. I don’t really know of any other fandom drama aside from the Tudorblr Vs. Six thing, so this is all I got for fandom toxicity (though there is definitely a lot more I haven’t covered)

I really enjoyed answering this, and would love if I got more asks (though it might take some time to answer them) It’s really nice to talk to all of you!

#sixthemusical #tudorblr #asks #sixcourse #long post

[randomnameless]

@lochnessies I didn’t want to reblog your post since it was long but if you don’t mind me adding my 2 cts to the Empire and your Empire essay

honestly i’m so glad i’m not the only one who nerded about the empire

I’m totally on board with your assertion about Agarthans and the Empire, the agarthans are the one who are the masterminds behind everything wrong happening in Fodlan (Nemesis 1 to Nemesis 2) and how the Empire who started good ended up being the decadent place we’re told about in-game that disappears in 75% of the endings.

However, I have several nitpicks or additions to make.

From the interview, apparently, humans already got their hand on “relics” before Nemesis pulled his stunt. Nemesis wanted to most powerful weapon available, so he ended up tearing Sothis, the leader of the nabateans, apart.

In the fake Church-approved story, Nemesis was king of the Liberation because he got rid of invaders coming from the North. We actually don’t know why the guy styled himself as “King of Liberation”, he apparently wanted to get rid of “liars” in his info blurb in VW, but then in the same route, when Billy fights against Maurice, Maurice asks if Billy’s come to “liberate” him... From this, I’m assuming Maurice, a former Elite, thinks “Liberation” is some sort of euphemism for death or a merciful death, idk. Bar Edel’s story, there is no real clues in game, or even outside, that Nemesis wanted to get rid of “divine beings”. I personally think he wanted to be the strongest so if lizards had to die for this then so be it, but bar that? I have no ideas about his own, personal motivations (save for “Thales’n’pals asked me to do it and they seemed so nice so I did it”).

Wilhelm Paul Hresvelg being one of Nemesis’s men who was lured away by Seiros and her dragon bros is a take that is very prevalent in the fandom, but has no basis in the game.

The Adrestian Empire officially existed in 0 when Seiros crowned the guy, but Enbarr was chosen as its capital because it was the largest city. The War of Heroes “properly” started 3 decades later as Wilhelm wanted to unify the continent.

Lycaon I’s death heralds the end of the war, meaning Wilhelm died during the WoH. Apparently the Church of Seiros was created before the war, even before the Empire, by followers who were inspired by her miracles or something. 

But yes, there used to be a religion before the “Church of Seiros” given how Seteth met his wife in a church in Enbarr, still I cannot say for sure it was here before the first Agarthian war.

Word of God also said Seiros and her friends rewrote history because the Elites and Nemesis were too popular at that time and she wanted to “quell the flames of war and chaos” and keep balance. Kind of unrelated, but given how Marianne is treated in Modern!Fodlan because her ancestor was a (literal) monster, if Seiros revealed the truth about Gloucester, Daphnel and their friends maybe Lorenz and Ingrid would be persecuted and hated like Marianne is... 

I don’t have anything to add to the rest, but some tidbits regarding the Empire and what I could hc i mean interpret from them :

Apparently, in the jp version of Hanneman’s C support with Dorothea, Hanneman says in the beginning nobles were supposed to guide and protect people, but in Modern!Fodlan it’s now just a way to discriminate between nobles and non-nobles.

Maybe at its inception the Empire had this idea about what nobility meant, but with time, the notion became used as a tool and emptied of its original meaning, idk. 

We also have the “Feast of Decadence” novel, it is fiction (apparently?) but the author, writing this book, thought it was perfectly normal to have northeners being torn apart in the background. 

This novel is supposed to happen way after the WoH ended (the Emperor is Lycaon III and we know from Ferdie’s support with Edel (or was it in Feh??) that the Emperor in 100~ was a woman, so she couldn’t have been Lycaon II) but in this context it was normal to have slaughters during a feast celebrating the wedding of the new Emperor.

Given how Rhea has bad history with slaughters for “fun” (as far as she knows Nemesis had no reason to kill everyone in Zanado?) I am pretty sure that if she had been around for Wilhelm I’s wedding, this spectacle would never have happened. Same thing for Lycaon I, the two Emperor she’s sure to have met. Which signifies that either post-Rhea the Emperor thought it was fun to watch northeners suffer, which also adds another kind of discrimination between people from the North and those from the South or the author of this novel had a blood kink and thought it’d be a nice detail, or the author wrote this “decadent feast” to criticise the Empire.

Which ultimately leads to : During Lycaon III’s time, or shortly after, northeners being torn apart during the highest ceremonies were something that happened casually, or it was plausible enough that people from that time could believe it happened.

So combining Hanneman’s “at first nobility was supposed to be this but ended up twisted” and “people ate a lot of bread and fish in honour of Saint Cethleann it was wonderful and northerners were being torn apart and we all laughed” means that even before Ionius IX pulled his centralising policies in place, the Empire was heading down a dark path.

The Southern Church is banned in 1065, way after the Kingdom and the Alliance were recognised as independant nations. In some localised versions (the SP one I think?) it is explained they were banned because they led an insurrection.

So even before Ionius, we have the Empire growing intolerant to its own citizens, stopping being “nobles” in the first sense of the notion, and apparently their ally since creation leads an insurrection. Then, the agarthans happen and they wreck things. 

If I had to compare, I’d say Ionius IX and his extreme policies (destroying Hrym and sending Agarthans to Ordelia, a territory in the Alliance, because they helped the people from Hrym) were inevitable since due to the Empire’s decadence, but Edel getting the means and opportunities to start her war was brought by the Agarthans.

It’s as if the Empire is going downhill and you can either choose to let it disappear (SS/AM/VW where the Empire doesn’t exist anymore, it crumbled) or go with it to the bottom of the hill (CF).

#pre imperial era #FE16 #I might start an useless thoughts series about this game #Wow i love to talk about the empire especially about what happened before the game #i know most of it is headcanon land but still #i think the devs said Adrestia was based on Italy or something and i can't help but make the parallel with Rome #and the end of the holy roman empire #i wonder how rhea reacted seeing the empire she helped create fall and fall #until the southern branch was exiled #maybe she didn't care anymore? #iirc the 'glorious' adrestian empire in the history book is an addition from the localisation team

[datheetjoella]

Fantober 2020, Day 25: Enemy>Lover

Author: DatHeetJoella Fandom: Free! Pairing: MakoHaru Rating: T Part: 25/31 (read the full collection here) Word count: 3,006 Tags: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Developing Relationship, Strangers to Lovers, First Meeting, Prince!Haruka, Prince!Makoto, Prejudices Read at: AO3, FFn, or right here!

                                            --------------------------------------

If there was one thing Haruka had known since he was a child, it was that when he came of age, he would be married off to a member of royalty or nobility of some foreign realm. As the crown prince of Tobi, that was his destiny and he made peace with it years ago. But when the day for him to meet his spouse-to-be arrived, he was everything but okay.

“Come on, Haru,” Nagisa said as he poured more hot water into his bath. “Don’t get all sulky before you even meet him. Maybe he’s actually really nice!”

Haruka huffed and averted his head. Nagisa might’ve been bubbly and optimistic, but Haruka didn’t share his positivity. The biggest hurdle for him was not that he was being married off, but to whom and what this arrangement entailed.

The lucky bachelor was Prince Makoto Tachibana. He was the oldest child and heir of the Tachibana family and the crown prince of Iwa, a neighbouring kingdom that was relatively small but still twice as big as Tobi.

Although Haruka had never met the guy, his status and title were enough to determine what he’d be like. In years of mingling with those who shared his destiny, Haruka had learned that they were all the same: arrogant, snobby, disrespectful and insufferable. They’d snap their fingers and expect servants to kneel at their feet, holding up their shoes on a golden platter. Barked out orders like they were better than everyone else because of the simple fact they’d been born in a palace instead of a shack. That was exactly the kind of person Haruka couldn’t stand.

And to make matters worse, he was going to have to share his precious kingdom with him and rule over it by his side.

The main reason their engagement commenced was that Tobi was, to put it frankly, bankrupt. The sea levels were rising and a recent flood destroyed both houses and crops, leaving a large group of people homeless and starving and his parents were at their wits’ end, unable to solve the problems that had befallen their realm.

The kingdom of Iwa had offered their help in exchange for a formal alliance and a marriage. But there was one issue: Haruka was an only child and the daughter of the Tachibana family had not nearly reached a marital age yet. Instead, their eldest son had proposed an alternative. The marriage would take place between the two crown princes and the kingdoms of Iwa and Tobi would merge into Unified Iwatobi, which would be ruled over by both Haruka and himself. It was merely a political marriage, as the princes would be allowed to have their own families if they pleased, and in turn, their firstborns would rule over Iwatobi as a pair.

A kingdom with two kings, it was a revolutionary concept and an absolutely ridiculous one at that. The instant Haruka heard of it, he knew it was a scheme of this ‘Makoto’ to steal the land of Tobi to expand his own kingdom. He’d play the sympathetic prince for their subjects, but behind closed doors, he would enforce his dominance and undermine Haruka’s sovereignty, to eventually become the sole ruler of Iwatobi. While Haruka hadn’t cared about becoming king and leading the realm, he’d rather die than play in the hand of some power-hungry narcissist.

But his parents and their advisors hadn’t agreed with him. Out of desperation, they accepted Iwa’s proposition and no matter how much Haruka protested or how many counter-arguments he presented, they wouldn’t budge. His fate as Prince Makoto’s puppet was sealed and he was incredibly bitter about it.

Three overly polite knocks on the carved door pulled Haruka from his brooding thoughts. “Yes?”

The door was slowly pushed ajar and Rei poked his head around the corner. “Your Highness, I do not mean to disturb but,” he said, but when Haruka sent him a scowl, he sighed. “Prince Haruka, your parents are waiting for you in the throne room. Prince Makoto and his delegation arrived over half an hour ago and it would be… appreciated if you came down to greet them.”

“I will,” Haruka grumbled, “After I’m done with my bath.”

“Forgive me for intruding, but you’ve been in the bath for nearly three hours already. Your fingertips are pruned and the water must be freezing by now.”

“It’s not, come feel for yourself.” Haruka gestured toward the bath, trying his best to appear nonchalant.

Rei didn’t seem fazed. “How many times did you refill His Highness’ bath, Nagisa?”

“Hm.” Nagisa scratched at his chin in contemplation. “About seven times?”

“Nagisa! You need to be more responsible. You know this is a grand day for Prince Haruka.”

“I know. He’s just nervous and taking a bath relaxes him, so you shouldn’t be so hard on him.”

“I’m not nervous,” Haruka said defensively, facing away from his retainers with a pout. He knew that, in their own ways, they both had his best interest at heart. Rei wanted him to be punctual and presentable when meeting important people, while Nagisa enabled his evading behaviour because he knew Haruka struggled to come to terms with this ordeal and found solace in the water. This wasn’t worth the argument between them. In the end, Haruka was an adult and had to own up to his fate. “I’ll get out, so tell my parents I will be down shortly.”

“Thank you,” Rei said, adjusting the spectacles on his nose with a self-satisfied puff. “I shall tell them to look forward to your swift appearance.”

Nagisa rolled his eyes at his colleague’s formality; after years of friendship, Rei still felt conflicted calling Haruka by his preferred nickname, instead switching between his titles. That was very different from Nagisa, who'd been casual with him since they were kids. Although Haruka liked them both equally, he did prefer Nagisa's easy-going nature.

With the click of the door, Rei was gone and Nagisa and Haruka were alone again.

"I get that you're not happy about this situation, I wouldn't be either," Nagisa said as he held out Haruka's towel. "But you can't just make assumptions about Prince Makoto. Not every prince is stuck-up and spoiled, you're not like that either. So why don't you give him a fair chance? Who knows, maybe you'll end up liking him a lot."

Deep down, Haruka knew Nagisa was right. He highly doubted he would get chummy with Makoto, but perhaps he had to give him the benefit of the doubt. If he was every bit as awful as Haruka imagined, then he would find that out soon enough. No need to get ahead of business.

With a semi-renewed outlook on the predicament, Haruka got ready with Nagisa's help. He wasn't vain at all, but if he made a strong, confident impression, he might’ve been able to thwart Makoto's possible ploys before they could come to fruition.

Clad in his finest cobalt blue suit and with his crown on his neatly-combed hair, Haruka descended the stairs and walked towards the throne room. With his head held high, he swung open the doors and strolled in, graceful and in control.

And then, he laid eyes upon Prince Makoto and he had to pick his jawbone off the red carpet.

An elegant green jacket adorned his broad shoulders, white trousers hugged his legs and behind and tall boots supported his lean, muscular form. For a prince, he was dressed surprisingly modest, but if it weren't for the brilliant crown placed on his messy brown locks, then his aura would've been enough to betray his status. His back was straight, feet planted firmly on the ground like an unwavering oak tree, sturdy and assured. This was what a man who was prepared to lead a nation looked like.

But Haruka's heart didn't stop until Makoto peered back over his shoulder and revealed his face.

Ever since he was little, Haruka had been told by folks he encountered how beautiful he was and he hadn't found any reason to disagree with those comments. But Haruka's beauty paled in comparison to Prince Makoto. His jawline was sharp with a chiselled chin and rather round cheeks, but that added to his charm. His lips were full, his eyebrows slightly upturned and his nose complemented all his other features. But his eyes were the ones that took Haruka's breath away.

They were vibrant and green like he was wandering in a hedge maze with no exit. Mesmerising like he didn't even want to find a way out. But most of all, overwhelmingly kind.

When Haruka noticed he was staring at Prince Makoto while everyone else was staring at him, he quickly shut the doors behind him and stumbled over to his parents' side. If only he hadn't lost face yet; Prince Makoto might’ve been handsome, but that didn't mean he was trustworthy. Haruka shouldn't let his guard down.

"Haruka, I'm so happy you could finally join us," his mother said with a wide smile, but the daggers she shot at him through her gaze informed him he was in for an intense scolding later.

"Thank you for waiting for me," Haruka said with a feigned smile of his own. "I'm glad I got the opportunity to be here because it is an honour to meet you, Prince Makoto."

"I feel the same way, Your Highness," Prince Makoto said and damn, his voice sounded like violin music on a sunny afternoon. "The honour is entirely mine, as I feel grateful you were able to find the time in your undoubtedly busy schedule to come and greet me."

Prince Makoto ended his play with a deep bow and Haruka’s eyebrows furrowed. Was he mocking him? Usually, Haruka was pretty good at reading people and all the signs told him Makoto was being sincere, but he couldn't believe someone would seriously say that to him after the way he acted.

Perhaps Haruka was the obnoxious, entitled prince in the equation. "Of course, Prince Makoto, we are honoured to welcome you into our humble palace."

"Well then," his mother interrupted before this charade could drag on for hours. "Haruka, why don't you show His Highness around our… humble palace?"

"Certainly, Mother," Haruka said, "Prince Makoto, would you please follow after me?"

"It would be my pleasure," Makoto said and the smile on his face hadn't lessened; in fact, it was like it grew even softer, as though fondness twinkled in his eyes. Haruka must've been hallucinating. "Please lead the way, Prince Haruka."

With Makoto trailing behind him, Haruka took him via the sunroom straight outside to the gardens. There, he'd at least be able to catch some fresh air as he listened to the bragging and boasting that would probably stream out of Makoto's mouth like a polluted waterfall.

They walked down the steps onto the path between the tidy yet lively garden. Hydrangeas, begonias and geraniums were plentiful and not a single branch was out of line on the trimmed bushes. This was Haruka's favourite spot on the entire castle grounds for a reason.

"These gardens are beautiful," Makoto said, turning his head from left to right and back again as though his brain couldn't process what his eyes were registering. "Perhaps the most beautiful I've ever had the privilege to walk through. Your horticulturists must be very skilled."

"I guess so," Haruka shrugged, unsure of how to answer that. Of course their horticulturists were skilled, else they wouldn't employ them. But Haruka swallowed that comment because he felt himself becoming the villain he feared Makoto to be.

When he glanced to his side and didn't see Prince Makoto beside him, Haruka frowned. Had he scared him off already?

When he looked back, Makoto was standing several meters behind him, head downturned.

"Prince Makoto?"

"I… want to offer you my apologies."

Haruka's frown hardened. "Apologies? For what?"

"This arrangement, it was my idea," Makoto said, facing back up and for the first time since their meeting, his smile was gone. "I hope you understand that I only suggested it because I wanted to help. When I heard about the situation in Tobi, my heart broke and I wanted to do everything within my power to aid your people. I know it might not have been my place, but if something like that were to happen to my people, then I would appreciate all the help we could get. When human lives are at stake, I believe our pride as leaders should not stand in the way of doing what is right."

Those words surprised Haruka. Maybe he had judged Makoto too soon. In the very least, his morals seemed to be in check.

"I certainly don't want it to appear as though I find you and your family incapable of ruling over Tobi by yourselves, but this was the only possibility I saw to overcome this issue. After all, Iwa's resources are limited and I could not convince our advisors to come to Tobi's aid without expecting anything in return. They wanted concrete assurance that Tobi would have our backs if such a disaster were to occur within our borders and said I was naive if I trusted you without a formal arrangement. In that regard, I failed and I owe you an apology for that." Makoto bowed to him once more, even deeper than last time.

Haruka was at a loss for words. He kept staring at Makoto's folded back, mind blank and he didn’t know how to comfort him, if that was even the correct response.

When Makoto straightened his spine, he continued, "But I am not against this arrangement and the merging of our kingdoms. No matter how extreme the circumstances would get, I would never propose something so outlandish if I didn't believe it was beneficial to both of our kingdoms. Together, we'll be so much stronger in times of trouble, but I would be lying if I said part of the reason why I am in favour of this isn't selfish."

"Selfish?" Haruka asked. From what Makoto had told him, he acted out of pure selflessness.

"To be honest with you, the thought of becoming king and leading our realm has always been a bit frightening to me,” Makoto said, shuffling his feet as he averted his eyes. “Ever since it was decided I’d be crowned within a few months, I’ve had this tight knot in my stomach. Being the king is such a big responsibility, I’m afraid I won’t be able to fill my parents’ shoes, that I’ll make foolish decisions and that my people won’t like me. Of course, I know I’ll always have the support of my parents and my advisors but I just… I feel like I’m not ready at all.”

At that earnest confession, Haruka’s mouth fell open once again. Makoto appeared so reliable and certain, he never would’ve guessed he harboured such insecurities. Perhaps it was because he felt so lost that he hid it so well.

“I’ve never told anyone this before,” Makoto admitted as he scratched at his cheek, “But that’s why the thought of merging our kingdoms appealed to me; so I’d have you by my side. Carrying the weight of a whole kingdom seemed a bit lighter if I could share it with someone, that’s why I advocated for this particular arrangement. I realise now that’s very immature and egotistical of me, so I apologise again for wanting to push my burden onto you.”

If Makoto was being completely honest - which Haruka had no lingering doubts about at this point - then it wasn’t that he wanted to steal Haruka’s land and title, but wanted to push part of his own onto Haruka’s plate like they were vegetables he couldn’t stomach.

Haruka had never been extremely thrilled about his duties either, albeit for different reasons than Makoto, so it wasn’t like he didn’t understand him. While he hadn’t thought of this arrangement as being a shared burden, the idea didn’t sound all that unpleasant to him now he did ponder it over. Perhaps this wasn’t as ridiculous as it initially seemed. 

“It’s okay,” he said after a moment of silence, “I suppose I don’t mind shouldering half of your weight as long as you shoulder half of mine.”

“Certainly,” Makoto said, nodding vehemently. “I do want you to know that I don’t expect anything of you. I mean, we’ll be getting married through this arrangement, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be obligated to do anything. I want you to continue to live your life the way you please, the way you always have or the way you envisioned, without minding me. I do hope we can become friends, but if you prefer for our contact to be strictly political, then I understand, Prince Haruka.”

“You shouldn’t be so insecure about everything, because you have no reason to,” Haruka said, turning around so Makoto wouldn’t see the blush he could feel burning on his cheeks. “And just Haru is fine. We’re getting married, aren’t we? There’s no need for such formalities.”

An audible gasp left Makoto’s lips. “You’re right, Haru,” he said with a warm, melodious chuckle.

“Are you coming? I’ll show you the rest of the garden,” Haruka said as he resumed walking. Before Makoto could ask something that forced him to unlock his heart, he changed the subject. “What are your favourite flowers?”

“Camellias,” Makoto said as he matched Haruka’s pace, “Do you have any bushes?”

“We do, I’ll take you to them.”

Together, Haruka and Makoto wandered through the vast and lavish gardens. During the short time since they met, Haruka’s opinion of Makoto shifted completely and now, he was convinced they would become the friends Makoto hoped they’d be.

At that point, he had no idea yet that when they got married a few weeks later, he’d say his ‘I do’ with a wide smile and that the ceremony would be ended with a true, tender kiss.

#i'm sorry i'm stupid #makoharu #makoharu fic #my fic #fantober2020 #colourful days with you #who would've guessed i'd ever write an enemies to lovers fic? not me #but i must admit i did walk on the line here because are they really enemies?? not really #it's basically just haru antagonising makoto over a false image he has in his head before meeting him #anyway haha #hope you enjoy

[himbo-buckley]

what are your thoughts on what maddie says about her and buck's parents, that they were "good people, bad parents"? bc idk if it's just me but I can't get my head around that lmao, I can't understand how they can still be good people if they're bad parents, the two just can't go together for me, so another perspective would be interesting!

Hello friend 🥰

Oh, that is quite a question, isn’t it? Damn I just got out of work but you’re making me think deep thoughts here…

I think that is actually a question were we cannot find a unifying answer to - because like you said for you being a good person and a bad parent aren’t compatible, but for me they are. And I think we’d first have to define what everyone thinks constituents a good person and what constitutes bad parents!

For me a good example of that is Shannon Diaz who, in my opinion, is a good person. She means well and she tries hard but she is quite frankly an awful mother. Yes, she was put in horrible situation after horrible situation and she broke on that - which is something human and cannot be begrudged - but she left her child for several years and while she did try to reconnect and she was learning, she wouldn’t haven contacted Eddie on her own. She came back because the opportunity arose not because she tried to get back to them. (She could have become a good mother but she never got the chance.)

In the same vain I think Bobby pulled a lot of shit back in Minnesota but he still seemed to be a loving and kind father - so my question to you, friend, would be: do you consider Bobby a good person (the Bobby prior to Season 1 mostly)? Despite being the type of person who went to work drunk and / or high and by this endangering others and himself? Because I don’t think so yet the show frames him as a good person despite his downfalls (and I am not saying being an addict makes someone a bad person but I am saying knowingly endangering others does) - and if you think someone cannot be a good person but a bad parent, can someone who is a bad person also not be a good person?

See, one thing I learned working with children is that some people just aren’t made to be parents, and I am not talking about my time with child services, i am talking as a kindergarten teacher. Some people are very nice and they try hard but damn, parenting does not come natural to them and I worry how this will develop in the future. Like one of my mom’s is severely depressed and she might have Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy which doesn’t make her a bad person - but a bad parent at times.

And now, this is were I make you regret asking me specifically about this topic (or maybe not, who knows what your interests are) because I do have a bit of an expertise in what constitutes good / bad parenting and I will talk about it at random whether I am asked or not (and hopefully my language won’t fail me as most of my theoretical knowledge is in german, so please excuse any mistakes in technical terminology because I have to find the english equivalents and you know all those untranslatable german words? Yeah. Someone finally figure out how to translate the difference between Erziehung and Bildung please because both cannot be education and also it doesn’t really fit either):

So let’s get into it, shall we?

What makes good parents?

First up: parental relationship and parenting capabilities: several years ago the german department of family, seniors, women and youth (BmFSFJ) released a paper on what skills parents need to become good parents. There a four main skills (and I hope I translated everything correctly):

child-corresponding skills (ability to respond to the individual needs and features of the child, be it in terms of recognising potential or setting boundaries or sth else)

context-corresponding skills (ability to recognise developmental opportunities but also hinderances for the child and acting accordingly)

self-corresponding skills (being able to reflect their own behaviour as well as being willing to learn new things; also ability to regulate one’s emotions)

action-corresponding skills (trust in ones own ability and effectiveness; being consistent, both in their own actions as well as in response to others actions)

You might have heard of Kurt Levin or Diana Baumrind or someone else doing research into parenting styles. Generally there are four main ones, which, if we use Baumrind, differentiate on the aspects of control and demand 

(here is a graph from wikipedia on this)

(I consider this fairly self explanatory but I will get into it in a bit a little more, soooo)

Now of course parenting isn’t just about the parents and what they do - children also have needs (and yes there is a lot of overlap but I am doing this right, okay?)

To quote my government again (because the paper was actually quite good, okay?) children want autonomy (a chance to do things themselves), expertise (a chance to develop their own skills) and relatedness (that one was very hard to translate but this came the closest; the idea is children strive for social connections, a sense of trust in themselves and reliability)

Also Urs Fuhrer defined 5 basic needs children have which are:

feeling of shelteredness and reliable love (I won’t explain this further except: google Harry Harlow and try not to cry like I do every time I am reminded of this monster of a man)

physical security and intactness (self explanatory, right?)

individual and developmentally suitable experiences (yes, children need to be socialised but it needs to be based on the individual child and how it learns best and all that)

boundaries and structure (CHILDREN WANT BOUNDARIES!!!! ALWAYS!!! CHILDREN WANT YOU TO TELL THEM YES OR NO, they need adults to help them navigate the world! Part of feeling secure is having someone who will tell you no and don’t do this; boundaries protect from danger, they represent support and orientation, they protect someone’s dignity (both the child’s and the parent’s), they give something to chafe against on our way to adulthood (because listen, Erikson wasn’t wrong, a lot of development happens in adversity, we find out who we are in contrast to other people)

a secure attachment (most people have heard about Bowlby and his theory of attachment, right? There are several types, though we are born with certain abilities for attachment and then learn how to attach from our parents, we model relationships on this, attachment determines our feeling of security and our thrive for exploration as children)

And I’ll leave the theoretical at this and go on to talk about the Buckley’s now, okay?

(and try to figure out if any of this has an actual point, uuups)

As for the specific situation of Mr and Mrs Buckley, let’s first see what we know of them, okay? (It’s barely anything) (half of it is assumed)

they are both alive

they are (probably) still married

they warned Maddie about Doug (meaning they somewhat cared)

they weren’t physically abusive and most likely also not emotionally

they probably live on the east coast in Pennsylvania

Buck may still be in contact with them

Maddie considers them good people but bad parents

they accepted losing contact with at least one of their children

Maddie doesn’t want them to know about Doug

That’s it!

Now, I personally think they might be very conservative, possibly unsupportive of their children. They might have had plans for their children’s life Maddie and Buck didn’t agree with, they might have been the types to not listen to their children, maybe they worked a lot. Probably fairly impatient, possibly disinterested in their children. Not good at the parenting capabilities.

Based on their children’s issues I’d say authoritarian or neglectful parenting style (though not abusive because it would be a redcon of Maddie’s background), meaning most definitely unresponsive though I cannot make up my mind whether they were demanding or undemanding, as both these styles - even when not so bad they are abusive and / or endangering to the child - make insecure, dependent and unhappy adults (like the children turn into those once they grow up), which does kinda fit with Buck specifically, right?

Though tbh I don’t think the Buckley parents were that horrible. I know fandom has taken the idea and run with it, mainly because after three seasons we know virtually nothing about them aside from some throwaway lines and all the issues we see in their children.

Now, why do I say this?

One, Maddie is a fairly capable adult despite everything that happened to her and even being as resilient as she is, she still has too few issues for how horrible fandom thinks the Buckley parents are

Two, while Buck has a lot of issues, being cocky and having problems with intimacy and being a bit directionless and still needing a parental figure in your mid-20s doesn’t seem that uncommon to me? Like the only really deep issue I’d say he has (that have to be caused by something deeper) are his abandonment issues (and connected to that intimacy). And it’s been implied they are caused by Maddie leaving to go to College which does paint the picture that he doesn’t have a good relationship with his parents but honestly, that sometimes happens, right?

(Also, and this is where my professional background comes in, I don’t like how everyone jumps to the worst possible conclusions about them, simply because I feel it sends the idea that only if the worst things happened to you, you have certain issues which is wrong. Sometimes small things will trigger something way larger in us and that should not be invalidated.)

And okay, I am getting off topic again (but again, my profession lies here) but what I am trying to say is this:

I do think Mr and Mrs Buckley were bad at parenting because they demanded too much but gave too little (emotionally) and I don’t think Buck is really in contact with them but I also don’t think that makes them necessarily bad people. (just bad parents)

I think Maddie and Buck weren’t as close back when they were children as they are now (at least not after Maddie moved to College) because the Buck we know would not accept a sister he is very close to simply no longer having contact with him for three years without trying to figure out why.

I do think they can’t have been that bad mainly because of how good Maddie and Buck are. Listen, I believe in resilience and already being born with a certain personality and traits which shapes how our environment reacts to us, but which is also influenced and changed by our environment ! (Nature vs. nurture, ya’ll) Now I know I said we find and develop ourselves in adversity but not just. We also need someone to foster and support and reward certain traits or we lose them and this is especially true for being kind and heroic!

Buck especially has shown way to little anger or capability for violence for how the fandom likes to write his parents, which considering his general character and also the way he looks - just doesn’t work! (Because generally especially boys raised in abusive families emulate this behaviour and Buck just - doesn’t! Which considering how “fuck toxic masculinity” Buck is most of the time doesn’t make sense because being tall and buff would make the opposite easier for him and would make it the better strategy for survival, so this would be the behaviour he would have learned)

(unless our writers say fuck being realistic and fuck psychology)

His parents had to have done something right, because Maddie will have left for College by the time he was 12 / 13 probably and we know they consider this her abandoning him meaning they probably weren’t really in contact then and while the first years of your life ARE VERY important for who you become later (urgh, yes, I’ll admit it, Sigmund Freud, the most overrated theorist did get SOME things right) they aren’t everything and you develop for longer and also a young girl like Maddie would have been would have not been self-reliant and stable enough to raise her literal baby brother in a way that made him resilient enough to become the person Buck has become despite her leaving him twice

Not to mention: considering the person we know Maddie is - if their parents really were that horrible she wouldn’t have left Buck with them, she would have taken him with her!

 ANYWAYS!

Okay, tbh, I have no idea if any of that answered your question, but I did spend nearly two hours on it so enjoy?

I really don’t have a good answer to your question because we really don’t know enough and what we know doesn’t fully gel with each other and urgh, I don’t know friend despite this being the one thing I actually have some knowledge on!

I’m not even sure any of this makes sense and I am so sorry about that! I was trying, friend, but sadly an answer eludes me

Guess I should have just ended after saying: we cannot find a unifying answer to this because we each have individual definitions of good and bad in regards to people?

(Now, for everyone who read all of this? I love you and thank you and sorry! Please have a great day while I go cry in the shower now because I this ask drained me and also Harry Harlow)

EDIT: I wrote attachment issues when I wanted to say abandonment issues, shit!

#omg someone messaged me am I cool yet #buck meta #maddie meta #buckley meta #911 meta #meta #I honestly think there is a bit more evidence in canon to support Eddie having abusive parents than Buck #911 #911 fox #evan buckley #maddie kendall #the buckley siblings #this ask messed me up a bit because I feel like I should know these answers but I don't #this is what I am supposed to be good at why do I not know this? #textpost #I am so sorry Anon I really tried #my meta

[aijee]

hello aijee!! what are your thoughts on mingyu and wonwoo's bittersweet?

Oh anon. Oh anon, anon, anon. I have very many feelings about this remarkable intersection of ley lines. I’m sure the WWxMG spheres of the Internet are in some state of madness, and I felt like my meager offerings would be nothing in comparison. But you are now my excuse to write up a Pandora's box answer that I've done my best to organize below the cut. It’s honestly not that exhaustive, but I have to catch a flight soon.

The short of it is: I really liked it! It was nice to see WW/MG doing something distinctly not hip-hop, or eye candy-centric, or “let’s fight over this random girl for no reason other than to give (female) fans the feeling of being sandwiched between two hot guys.” The urban imagery was also wonderful. I’m a big, big sucker for Japanese films set in cities in the 80s/90s, so this video definitely hit a specific aesthetic nerve for me. ALSO LEEHI MY BAE!!

But, fair disclaimer, I do have some reservations. Nothing is perfect!

The song itself

It was refreshing to hear a softer song with WW and MG doing so much of the vocals. I’m so used to eleven other guys contributing (I’m personally a bigger fan of the group/non-solo tracks), it was almost jarring to hear only two male voices in something very much not hip-hop or rapping. And LeeHi? My ex-YG BABEE?? I honestly wished I heard more of her!! And saw her in the video! Her voice was a perfect addition to a song that sounds more, as its name suggests, bittersweet.

I feel like all three of the artists involved have a much more dynamic range that could have been utilized, even for a muted tone. The song overall doesn’t really stand out to me, especially within Seventeen’s wonderful discography and selection of ballads. The instrumental was kinda weak ngl. But I still very much enjoyed the song! The lyrics from an English-speaking standpoint were also very lovely and definitely struck the heart on my sleeve, as you can imagine from the types of themes I tend to write about. Kudos to MG and WW for participating in it! Always love seeing SVT showing off their creative chops.

The video/cinematography

Frankly, I wasn’t impressed by it. 3.5/5 stars. I’m personally not a big fan of the blurry type of slow motion. I get that, perhaps, it was meant to evoke a sense of reminiscing on old memories, which can be blurry and choppy. But I felt like those extra seconds could have been used for more evocative cinematography between the trio or combinations thereof. There was so much potential to have a more unified sense of “story.” I felt like the acting really carried it, but overall the visual artistry didn’t hold together in my opinion.

I also thought that the imagery paired with the lyrics was often too on-the-nose. (Take this with a grain of salt from someone who doesn’t know Korean, only the official English translations.) In other words, I thought that the shots could be too literal when paired with the lyrics.Yes, yes, eyes are are meeting but something still feels far apart because the girl ain’t lookin at WW. Yes, yes, the scent of a moment fills hands because we see a glass of alcohol in presumably WW’s hand. I do like that the lyrics actually match the video to some degree (since so many Kpop MVs are just dancing in a fancy room), but, again, it felt too one-to-one without much thought otherwise.

Also, those AirPods lmao. I don’t know why, but that took me out of the immersion. WW and MG had one each, and I’d be knocking furniture down at that observation if they both weren’t wearing right-side pods, thus eliminating the possibility of sharing. Imagine!! Turning the act of sharing AirPods into something symbolic! Remembering things when someone else “plays that old tune”, being disconnected and connected at the same time, etc. To think that I’d be yell-writing about the potential symbolism of AirPods...

The duo/trio

My first thought seeing this video was: Are Mingyu and Wonwoo okay with this? They clearly had a say in the lyrics, so I feel like they’re okay. Instinctually, I get concerned about how a company can push idols pairings in official content to the point of undermining the real-life relationship; I felt like WW, as a naturally shyer and introverted person, stepped back from the WonGyu pairing at some point. I think this was a bigger concern in the group’s earlier years, and I feel like they and the fandom have matured significantly over time. Fans reading this are certainly free to educate me on their takes regarding this, since I follow Seventeen’s official content more (as much as I am able to, at least) than fan content, like fancams, and I try not to make too many legit assumptions based on official content.

All this being said, I think they looked really comfortable with each other in the video! Which I loved the most, honestly. The premise didn’t didn’t feel like guys fighting over a girl (yawn). I’m not a fan of the overused K-Pop trope of “let’s have a random girl act as a stand-in for fans to feel like they’re being pursued by their oppars.” I felt like, while MG and WW expressed clear interest in the girl, there was interest expressed in each other as well—especially MG towards WW in my opinion, cont’d below. And the interest was never forced to be romantic, even though it could be! LOVE that for them. (I highly recommend reading up on “queer platonic relationships”, which a friend of mine taught me recently. Made the mistake of writing “romantic” instead of “platonic” so sorry 😬)

Motherfuckin Kim Mingyu AKA my interpretation of the story

*I did read the little summary in the description box about “three longtime friends”, but I’m choosing to ignore it because I don’t think the video portrays that well and I like my interpretation better haha!

That sequence of WW putting a hat on MG, with WW’s fond but exasperated face of a hyung (I’m okay, not okay).

The cut from that shot of WW and the girl breathing heavy and looking at MG, to MG staring vacantly behind a rained-on glass window (I close my eyes but thoughts of you...).

The way MG steps out first into the rain and smiles back at WW in that last sequence of shots (Eyes meeting but hearts apart); MG looks so content despite the sadness usually meant to be evoked by dramatic rain sequences.

As someone who normally connects with WW, I really connected to MG’s character this time around. I interpreted MG’s character as going through a really complex series of emotions towards both the girl and WW, platonic, romantic or otherwise. It’s hard to pin down, but the small age difference between him and WW felt so much more apparent in the MV. I almost got the impression that maybe MG’s character felt new, naive and lost in the city (he has a few shots of wandering or being in front of urban areas). Then he found stability with the girl and WW, the consequence being the whirlwind of feelings he must be experiencing because of them. I wish there was more exposition hinting at what happened to the girl, since she sorta just...blipped out of existence by the end.

At the start of the MV, WW’s character looked like he was at the end of his rope, drinking away his woes, maybe because of what seems like a nice job based on the suit. But then he found solace in the female bartender, who was kind and had open ears. The two of them became friends (maybe more, perhaps one-sided in WW’s disfavor). Then WW met MG through her. He saw MG’s character as a cute dongsaeng to be nice to, mostly on the whims of the girl, even dancing with them after closing time. But maybe WW’s character started having complicated feelings for MG’s character throughout it all. He started seeing MG more (more than the girl? Hard to say), based on how he was staring at MG at the end of the running sequence at around 2:08, not even looking back at the girl. He ended up liking MG so much, that he followed MG into the rain despite them both avoiding it, staying indoors, before the end sequence.

That’s sort of the dirty and quick of my initial thoughts. Honestly, I wish I had the energy and speed to throw out a proper written work because I LOVE stories that are basically just complicated feelings with relationship boundaries that are hard to define. Also, gotta say, that little sassy look the female actress gave at around 0:30 was real cute. 👀

#askaijee #might as well be an aijeepost

[kinetic-elaboration]

March 15: Thoughts on Fandom

Not feeling too well this evening but hopefully a good night's sleep will make me feel better and tomorrow will be low key and chill. And my hot water will be fixed successfully.

I was thinking today about how I've felt for a long time that I'm 'between fandoms' even though technically, literally, I'm not. I continue to write and read for The 100 but I don't entirely feel like I'm in the fandom. Sometimes I think I should just leave officially, but then I think--but to go where? And "Star Trek" seems both an obvious and an incorrect answer. It's like I'm not truly invested anywhere, but in a sort of limbo-like space.

Anyway, so I broke it down like this.

I want 3 three things from "fandom," broadly speaking:

1. To engage with media that I really love.

Examples: waiting for new installments (for ongoing media); rewatching or rereading; obsessing over how great the characters or stories are, dissecting plot lines and themes.

2. To engage with a fan community that also loves the media I love.

Examples: reading fanfiction; reading meta; engaging in online discussions; reading other people's excited posts; following blogs relating to the media in question; reblogging gifsets/graphics/fan art

3. To engage creatively with the source material through transformative works.

Example: writing fanfiction.

Ideally, I'd have one piece of media that fulfills all of these purposes. That was T100 for me for a while. But then I stopped watching the show in late S4, and got farther and farther away from the 'current' fandom. And then the show ended, and on such a sour note, so that the fandom itself, the fan community, started changing. And at the same time, I started getting seriously back into Star Trek again.

So now I'm in this place, where I'm still at least kind of engaged in all three aspects of the fandom experience, but not in a unified way.

Star Trek is fulfilling the first purpose of fandom for me, right now. I'm loving rewatching TOS, and the AOS movies too, and I just have a lot of Emotions about the characters and universe. It's that good kinda excitement that a show (or book or movie or whatever) that you really love always gives. Like--ahh!!! I cannot feel anything else but just happiness because I love this so much!

BUT I'm not engaging with ST in either the second or third sense of fandom. I follow a couple ST blogs but there aren't many truly active TOS/AOS centric blogs out there right now. I don't read any ST fanfic because, well, first of all I never really did, and second, I'm far enough behind on my T100 fic! And I have rl people like my mom and B to talk about it with, but not really anyone on tumblr or wherever who's into it like I am.

And though I've vaguely plotted and poked at some fic ideas, I haven't done any real ST writing in a long time--again because I have ideas for T100 that I need/want to get to first, and I'm not writing so much anyway now in general.

On the other hand, T100 is definitely NOT fulfilling function (1) for me and hasn't in a long time. When I stopped watching the show, I still engaged with the canon a little. I watched other people get excited or debate or discuss. I noticed the patterns of fandom as the show went into and out of hiatus. Plus, I still enjoyed the early seasons and liked early-canon and canon-divergent fics (reading and planning/writing). But even that is largely fading for me. I've been trying to rewatch the show but it's not really doing anything for me... I have a hard time getting into it. The canon-divergent fics I'm writing for the collab are not interesting me in the least, either.

I realized today that most of my fic ideas, or at least most of the fic ideas I really care about in any way, are so far removed from the canon they might as well be original fiction with some familiar names thrown in. The one exception is the Ark AU, but everything else is some form of extreme AU, modern or otherwise. I don't even know that the characters make me feel much of anything anymore. I've been toying with how to explain this for a while but... I feel like both for me personally and the fandom as I perceive it, the characters are more like a shared vocabulary, rather than actual characters from a source material we all love. I think this is partially because the fandom is old enough now to have some very long standing shared headcanons, and either small enough or bifurcated enough for fanwork creators to influence each other more than the canon influences them, and partly because the show ending on a sour note for most viewers has left the people who remain in the fandom with a sense that these characters are OURS and that the value of them is in how we collectively decide to use them now, rather than in how they are tied to the universally derided source material.

I'm not saying any of this is BAD, I'm just saying, that's how it is now, from my perspective.

I'm sort of engaging with the fan community (2) through T100, but... it's a little weird. I have people I legitimately like and enjoy talking to on tumblr who I know through T100 and of course there are events like Troped that I really love. I have a ton of cool fic bookmarked too and I'm getting back into reading it. But my dash has a lot less T100 content than it used to and sometimes I'll find myself j-ing very fast through it because I'm just not in the mood. I know a lot of people are either semi-disengaging, like I am, or wholesale moving on to other things. So it's like... the community straggles on, but it's uncertain at best.

And as far as engaging creatively (3)--to the extent that I write or plan fic it's almost all T100. But I haven't... I haven't been finding it easy to write. In general. This is a little hard to explain but.. when I think "I need to leave T100 fandom and really force myself to go somewhere else" it's usually because I feel like I'm not really getting what I need creatively out of the fandom. I like a lot of my wips and unstarted ideas, in theory at least, but the closer I look at some of them the more... herculean the task of actually writing them starts to seem. And tbh I rarely just... tell myself little stories about these characters or within these potential-fic scenarios. Like in all my idle, free thought time--when I'm washing dishes or taking a walk or a shower or going to sleep, when I want to think about something nice and fictional and not let the worries in... when I'm really engaged with a fandom, I'll imagine little scenes and tell myself little stories during these times. Sometimes they're scenes I want to eventually make into or include in a fic. Other times they're not. But they're still an extension of my creative life.

And I haven't really done that for T100 in a while. Sometimes I imagine Star Trek scenarios. Sometimes I retreat into highly silly comfort scenarios with original characters. But I only think about T100 when I specifically need to brainstorm for a fic. And that makes the fic feel more like work. And that makes me want to do it less.

So... I'm not sure what that will mean for me getting back into my projects when I finally (FINALLY) finish the last of my obligations. Maybe when I feel like I can actually make progress on old wips or ideas I care about, I'll get more invested in them. I was pretty damn invested in Mountain Lion Mean and that wasn't that long ago, so it is still possible. But overall, T100 definitely doesn't have, and probably never will have again, a total monopoly on my brain the way it did c.2016.

Which is fine. Like... it's more than fine. I've been here a while. What I'm trying to articulate to myself with all this is that the dissatisfaction I feel with my fandom life is probably stemming from the lack of one, coherent obsession. I have stuff to read, stuff to write, stuff to think about, stuff to talk about, and even a small fandom community of people I like--so what's the problem, right?? It's because it's not all coming from the same piece of media and that's not as clear and coherent and nice for me.

Plus, it makes writing more difficult when I do want to write these particular ideas, but I'm only motivated by own desire to see the ideas realized, not my genuine love for the characters and the material from which they derive. There's a certain energy that fannish activity has... but T100 fic barely feels like a fannish activity to me rn. Just another type of work. It's a work I'm invested in...but I just so often don't have it in me to WORK at all, is the thing.

So that's the biggest annoyance about it. I haven't really experienced this before so even though this situation has been forming for a while, I still don't really know what to do with it.

#the year 2021 #2021: fandom thoughts #honestly i'm really proud of myself for articulating all of this #fandom

[vampexx]

Thoughts on Luka and in general

Well, I have been working on an analysis for Luka’s character for a little while now and every time I worked on it, I just didn’t like the way it was turning out. As in, it wasn’t flowing well, it was super messy and patchy, and it was so long that I was losing track of all of the points I was planning on making....yes, that long. SO, I thought I would not only spare myself the headache, but that I would spare you guys too lol.  So I just threw this together hoping it would sit better with me and luckily, it does :) .

I was going to make this post some grand master-analysis on my theories, thoughts and opinions of everything from characters, theories, different ships, etc. and yikes, that idea was scratched pretty quickly because someone who rambles as much as I do, that’s the worst decision ever lol I do not have the time nor patience for any of that mess lol.

Besides, most of what was in this post before I scrapped it has all been said before so I didn’t want to be repetitive.

So instead, I have decided to include mainly my new thoughts on Luka since coming to a different conclusion and stance on his character. The rest will be included, yes, but in the form of links to my other theories and opinions that I was planning including originally to some degree for anyone who may care what my opinion is.

With all that being said, let’s talk about my new found opinion of Luka.

I have always agreed with those that said that Luka’s character was flat, 2-dimensional and too “perfect” to be true. Now here’s the thing, while I was writing the scrapped analysis that was essentially going to reiterate those same things, I came to the conclusion that Luka is, in fact, not perfect. 

For instance:

In the episode, “Silencer,” Marinette and Luka go to XY and his manager to defend Kitty Section when discovering their style and song were wrongfully stolen/ copied. Of course, Luka is a very reserved and subdued character so his flaws are more easily unnoticed at first glance. To spot his flaws, you have to look less at what he is doing (writing melodies, being compassionate, etc. you know, things that make him “perfect.”) and look more at what he is not doing. Back to my point in, “Silencer.” So, Marinette, as she normally does, is quick to defend and argue over the wrongful use of Kitty Section’s style and song. She ends up in a pretty heated argument with XY’s manager. Where is Luka, you ask? While he is in indeed angry like Marinette, but he is standing in the background not really helping nor backing her up in said argument when he arguably should have. Now, this is in fact a flaw. It is due to his non-confrontational and reserved nature that he does not get involved in the argument, neither to back up / defend Marinette, but also not to defend Kitty Section, his own band. He just let’s Marinette do all the arguing and talking while he’s just there watching, getting angrier and angrier, eventually being akumatized. 

Granted, Luka has shown to be not as good with words as say maybe someone like Marinette. What I mean by that is, he usually seems to speak via music so maybe he struggles with verbal expression although that would contradict his poetic words in, “Silencer,” and compassionate words in, “Felix.” Not that expression primarily through music is a bad thing, it is easily endearing to his character however it can also be viewed as another “flaw,” being that he is not a communicator unlike Marinette, who sometimes over communicates lol. It’s pretty clear that Luka does have some nice choice of words to say, however when he does talk, he doesn’t say a whole lot as in, it’s fairly brief. Otherwise, he keeps to himself it seems. Now Luka’s lack of communication can be foreseen as kryptonite to the Lukanette ship, just as I have said above, Marinette is a communicator and not Luka. For someone like Marinette, that could easily be a “turn off” for her, who is a very (sometimes overly) outwardly expressive person, although sometimes not by choice lol.

I may not have found many flaws for Luka, however I feel it’s enough to combat the statement of his character being too “perfect.” I agree, he seems that way at first. Due to his “laid back,” and “go with the flow,” type nature, it’s easy to potentially misinterpret him as a “too good to be true,” type of character. To reiterate, his flaws can be more easily found in what he is not doing, rather than what he is doing. For comparison, a good example of someone having flaws based off of what they do/ their actions (as opposed to inaction) would be Kagami, basing this statement off of her vastly differing personality from Luka. 

To sum up regarding Luka’s flaws, the ones that I have found so far are inaction, seemingly distant and disinterested (mentioned more in depth in link #2) and lack of general communication. Why he possesses those flaws are open to anyone’s interpretation. I for one, am not digging that deep.

Thus being why I have changed my opinion of Luka from being neither good nor bad, just generally indifferent to his character, to actually now being a Luka stan. Now, I’m not necessarily his biggest fan and I am certainly not a fan of Lukanette, but I’m ok with his character and  I do stan Lukagami because they are both Adrien and Marinette’s mirrors, therefore they are also arguably yin and yang like Adrien and Marinette.

Now this post is titled, “Thoughts on Luka and in general.” Meaning, there are some other things I wanted to include that don’t necessarily involve Luka’s character. 

1st being - As of the season 3 finale, I would like to state that no one is officially dating. Nothing official has happened. No one even kissed. 90% of Lukanette’s actions were essentially friendly, nothing too romantic. Marinette does not appear to really reciprocate Luka’s feelings (as backed by, “Luka as seen by Marinette,” video where she never mentions returning his feelings). Also, Adrigami didn’t officially happen either. Although a kiss was attempted, it did in fact fail on Adrien’s end. Some kids sat next to each other, hung out  and ate ice cream which normally doesn’t suggest that people are dating. If anything at all romantic happened in the very end of the finale, it’s that the two pairs are in the, “testing the waters,” phase at best. No more no less, in my opinion.

Remember: The theme of the finale was, “You don’t always get what you want.” That doesn’t just apply to Adrien, Marinette and especially the fandom. It also applies to Kagami, Luka, Chloe, Hawkmoth, Mayra and hell, even Andre lol.

Let’s be honest, we’re not even guaranteed to pick up where we left off in the season 3 finale when season 4 starts.

2nd thing - Now that the peacock miraculous is fixed, I will be shocked if we don’t see the butterfly and peacock miraculous unified, and whatever fresh hell that will bring lol.

Third thing - The kiss in season 2 finale was not just friendly unless when a friend kisses you on the cheek, you look at them like this...

To which I must ask....are they just a friend lmao? (Lol sorry, don't @ me, trying to make a MLB pun....)

4th  thing - I really don’t know which love square ship will be primary in season 4. Like, Adrien still loves Ladybug, obviously, and always will but seems to be taking a break from pursuing her romantically. It is also made crystal clear via a forgotten confession in, “Chat Blanc,” and through increasingly prominent heart eyes from Adrien that his, “more than friends,” feelings for Marinette are growing so much and so fast that they’re quickly reaching the point for him to no longer be able to ignore it. So Adrien, “changing his target,” will not shift to Kagami, rather it will shift to Marinette. I mean, there was no mention of Adrigami vs. Adrinette having a decided victor in season 4 like Lukanette vs. Adrinette, which leads me to think they will not only end first, but also end pretty early on in the season if the ship takes off officially at all, which is still unknown. Next, we have Marinette who is in a more complicated position. She believes that she cannot love Chat due to thinking, for what she knows to be some outrageous reason that she refuses to look into, “will end the world.” She is also trying to move on from Adrien, who obviously she will also never get over. So for Marinette it’s trickier because she feels like she can’t have either, while Adrien seems to get a simple shift in “targets.” 

So how this love square business is going to play out in season 4 is kind of up in the air for me. Marichat is a possible route, where Adrien is pining for Marinette as Chat and Marinette is pining for Chat (while believing they can’t be together) however that makes it seem less likely. It could also be Adrinette, which I feel might be the most sensible route, because Adrien pining for Marinette after finally coming to terms with his feelings for her, and Marinette I guess then deciding to give them a shot romantically assuming Adrien confesses, otherwise if she is still trying to move on without knowing Adriens feelings for her, then I don’t know how well that would work. Ladrien I guess could work, like an unrequited love type deal although I don’t know how likely that is to happen given both main character’s head spaces. Ladynoir I expect, at least for most of the season, to be mostly platonic temporarily. Ladynoir, in my opinion, will probably be the last corner of the love square to be resolved, which I think will take place in the movie after season 4. So, yeah.....more than likely to be played out either via Marichat or Adrinette in my opinion.

That’s all I have to talk about for now....I have just been kind of sitting on those thoughts for a while. Now I will include the links as mentioned earlier:

Link 1) https://vampexx.tumblr.com/post/190128222840/just-my-opinion

Link 2) https://vampexx.tumblr.com/post/190054338050/uh-ohi-used-my-brain-againget-ready-lol

Link 3) https://vampexx.tumblr.com/post/189482028990/just-a-thought-there-are-spoilers-in-case

Link 4) https://vampexx.tumblr.com/post/189856458390/alright-sorry-but-im-gonna-be-salty-real

Sorry this was lengthy, but believe me, this is way better than what this post would have been originally lol. I’m still so tired after all that though...oh well. Worth it I guess.

Have a miraculous day and thank you for your patience! 

#miraculous ladybug #ml analysis #luka couffaine #adrienette #adrinette #ladynoir #ladrien #marichat #adrien x marinette #adrien x ladybug #marinette x adrien #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #ml love square #love square #ramblings about miraculous ladybug #ml rambles #vampexx

[dancing-with-dichotomies]

“Lone Pearl Cowgirl” Ch5 update/Important mentions

I've been feeling... Pretty super horribly awful down lately, like bottom of the bottom... Been fighting several things at once. A persistant seasonal depression, probably. My massive damn writing block that's haunted every single thing I've tried to write all this damn year, and part of the last too. My damned body that just Won't. Stop. Hurting. EVER...

And my abusive family, my family that is literally in a damn cult, my family that "lowkey" supported the second-coming of the worst kinds of evil, even though not a small portion of our family once escaped that... Them holding me down, manipulating me knowing I am disabled, isolating me all my life and using me...And I can only hope that being able to live away from them won't just be a dream when I'm disabled but can't get disability, live in one of the priciest damned states in the country, and my parents keep sabotaging me and using me and manipulating me. I've tried to claw myself away from them. It hurts to keep seeing them selfishly sabotage me and having others judge me. So much of my life hurts, but especially lately, around winter, around my birthday... And they always actively dunk on me harder around my birthday...

That, plus my pain increasing, and... and, and, and... Well, you probably already get it if yer one of the ones who even really cared, so I won't go on if yer not, but...

Anyways I feel like it so I wanna tell the people who REALLY helped me to survive what was one of the worst bouts of depression I've had in years, even knowing I generally get depressed periodically... You guys are really the ones who made a difference this time and you should know it.

crappy-crapolice  -- Change yer nickname already, Crappy. Yer the awesomest. XP XD Really dude, most of the time we just BS and have fun with various fandom shit, but you've seen me at my lowest points not just once but a few times, seen me get paranoid and doubt you a few times, but you've always been so patient and amazing about reminding me that it's my mental illness making me think/believe those things. And you've always been so great at reminding me when I need those reminders, but without judging me or shaming me. You've been so nice about really listening to my issues and realizing how many struggles I face that the average person doesn't, how I get way less help, way more demands, and way more obstruction than the average person, and you've showed me real sympathy instead of the usual "get over it already, nobody cares about what happened in your past only that you can contribute in the present" or "I'm sorry that happened to you, but also this bores me, can't we just talk about nice things 24-7..." type 'sympathy' most people settle for all too quickly... You've been the one to remind me of my own limitations when most people don't even want to hear about it, won't even let me finish before they judge me. Most just settle for assuming that someone in a bad position must deserve it. That they're not working hard enough or something. You're one of the few that really understood... Because you're one of the few who really listened long enough and didn't just blow me off or dismiss me. You treated me like I'm still a normal human being even when I've been in the midst of going kinda crazy from the stress, and that's what's managed to bring me back sometimes... Also, I hardly ever even TALK about the fandom we started out in anymore, I actually kinda dislike that fandom more than not after it all was over with, and you've still treated me like a friend. A lot of people would just drift away if you weren't interested in their fandom anymore. But you care about not just my other fandom interests too, but my original work. That really means a lot to me, NOT-Crappy. Thanks, dude. <3

Iris - People like you give me hope for the future. You work so incredibly hard for such a selfless cause. People even really mistreat doctors where you're from, and you're still determined to make it your life mission to heal and save and educate as many people as you can. Of course like I've told you to, you need to remember to make time for yourself! But I'm so incredibly grateful you've made time for me too... Again, we fandom BS a lot, but we also talk about the heavy stuff too, and I wanna let you know I appreciate it, that it helps make it feel lighter about it overall and I hope you do too. You always really listen and talk with me, have answered questions I've had, and are concerned about how I'm really feeling, instead of just rushing to cover up my troubles. It's doubly impressive that you manage to be so patient when you work so long and so hard. I have some pretty bad issues with feelings of being abandoned and "disappeared", so I really especially appreciate you talking me through that. It's also super impressive to me that despite us having a couple times where we both kinda unintentionally offended the other saying things that didnt quite come out right over the keyboard, that we managed to talk to each other about how we felt about it and clarify that no harm was meant. I know you're really busy and sometimes a while goes by where we don't talk, and even still it's easy to trust that you wouldn't just disappear on me, and that you'd really care if I truly disappeared too... I just want you to know. You're not just a My Hero-fan, you're a legit real life hero to me and I know to a lot of other people too. <3 <3

closet-cryptid/Michelle - We sometimes go a while without talking nowadays, I know we both know how hard it is with a little one, and that yer net sometimes goes in and out. But again, yer one of those friends I trust enough that it doesn't  matter. It actually amazes me even more because there was a time where we had a pretty big disagreement to say the least, and both said some pretty harsh things. I was fully prepared to burn our bridge of friendship, but to my deep surprise, you actually apologized some time later, and I did too, and I feel like we're better friends for it now. And again, yer one of those people who don't just  try to cover up troubles with fandom. We have our fun fandom discussions, but you've always been really willing to listen and really be sympathetic when I need to be sad too, you care about the real me and not just the me that made content for the fandom, and that's why we're still around to still putz about the fandom junk too. IZ FOREVER! XD (and I hope you and your sisters feel better too <3)

csp124 - Yer a newer friend, but yanno, you've proven to be a good one. Again, we can putz about fandom junk or other fun stuff, but you've been truly understanding about allowing me to talk about the bad junk that's been worrying my mind so much lately. You've been really helpful especially lately because you didn't just give up on me because my illness wouldn't let me stop "being negative" for a while, as some people reduce it to. Even though I didn't want to look on the bright side for a while, you kept bringing it up to me. It took a while, others gave up on me and got frustrated or angry with me, but you're one of the ones who kept being positive when you knew I -couldn't-, not that I just -wouldn't-, and understanding of my darkness too...

unified-multiversal-theory - Everybody here has helped me along a lot in various ways this year, but you've shown a special interest in my original work especially that really helped give me the inspiration I needed to get this latest chapter done. I feel so proud and relieved to have gotten chapter five finally done, and have more hope than I have in a while that the rest might be possible too. It's really deeply disheartening, a whole new level of isolation and depression, when so many people time and again, even other creators you'd hope would get it or at LEAST encourage you a LITTLE instead of being overly critical, especially those that get heaped with praise themselves, either ignore you completely/never give you a chance or even tear your creations down, claiming that they're trying to be "helpful/constructive". It's not that I can't handle constructive criticism, but I can recognize my characters being torn down by someone who is being overly critical because they dont really care one whiff about my work and REAL, ACTUAL -constructive- criticism like the kind you gave me, where you actually found a few errors that, while it depressed me for a moment to realize I had forgotten something so silly and needed to rewrite almost a while page because of it lol, IT ACTUALLY HELPED ME FINALLY FINISH THE DANG CHAPTER INSTEAD OF PARALYZING ME WITH DEPRESSION AND FEAR ABOUT MY ENTIRE WORK. You actually discussed my ideas and plot in detail and that's been so incredibly helpful. I know like Iris yer busy, so I wanted to say thank you for taking the time to help me with this especially. This work means more than a lot to me, a lot of people just blow it off like a silly story but it's SO much more than that. Helping me with this has really improved my outlook on life lately. I know everyone knows I love and live for my daughter, that she's the reason I keep existing... But she's not the reason I was made to exist in the first place. I feel like this story and her sister-stories are. Sometimes I confuse it because everything is confusing in this world, and because there's a sea of people who think the crazy shit Christians and Muslims and men in general do makes sense but somehow I'M the really crazy one, but... Just, thanks. I just feel a lot saner now that I made progress on something that means so much to me, and to know there's at least a few people out there who also really take interest in and appreciate it. <3

itsmorethanjustafantasy - We actually don't talk too much at all lol, here and there we talk a bit about fandom, but yanno... I just wanted to mention again how nice I think you are for sending people holiday well-wishes. Growing up with 90+% of my family in the Jehovah's Witnesses cult, and because of how sick I was growing up, my birthday and other holidays were especially hard times for me. Always on the outside looking in. Trained to tell other people it didn't matter and reject any holiday wishes or gifts given to my face when they were around, but deep down always feeling so lonely and isolated and excluded. You're one of those people who just out of the blue wishes people well on the holidays. For most people it's probably just nice. I just wanted you to know it did a little more for me though. It was nice to do for me, but it also made me feel included, and like someone remembered me. Thank u for that. Belated Happy Halloween, and upcoming Merry Christmas!

In general, there were a few other people that popped in when I was temporarily mad with grief and pain and helped talk to me about the rough stuff, bookrebelwordwarrior, kendallandherstuff, and a handful of others, sorry if it's been a while and I forgot anyone specific, but yeah. To everyone who really helped me and and didn't just give up on me, who not just remembered the good in me, but helped me to eventually see it again too, and help that goodness actually -grow-... Help bring out what -I- feel is really the best of me, not what others want me to be... Thank you. I can't say I'll never be depressed again, I've seen too much and there's so much stacked against me, but I'll try my best to keep trying, to keep believing progress is possible even when it feels like your life is currently stagnant and there's an ocean of people who don't care if you die or that you even ever existed. It's sad that there's so few, but life is just barely bearable when people really show they care. <3

So, consider this latest chapter of Lone Pearl,  "Faithful Phil and the Martyred Mother", dedicated to you guys. <3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20041537/chapters/51013765

#writing #original work #original writing #space western #sci fi #western

[godaime-obito]

@naruto-magic-week day 4: torn from the earth

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Naruto Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Senju Hashirama/Uchiha Obito Characters: Senju Hashirama, Uchiha Obito Additional Tags: Naruto Magic Week 2019, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Mythical Beings & Creatures Summary: naruto magic week day 4: torn from the earth

For transparencies sake, Obito must admit no one asked him to check what was up with the so called ‘Forest of Death’, but someone had to find out what was up with the giant tigers eventually and there’s no one better for the job than him.

also available under the cut!

There’s something off about this forest. Obito doesn’t mean that in the way everyone else does when they talk about it either. People whisper about the oversized wildlife and the strange plants growing taller than anywhere else, but what bothers him is something only a nature mage like himself could sense: the unifying magic. Normally every living thing has a distinct life force of its own, but through every living thing in the forest, especially the plants, runs the same magic. He can feel its source buried somewhere deep in the forest, the magic seeping out into everything like growth springing out around an oasis in the desert.

For transparencies sake, Obito must admit no one asked him to check what was up with the so called ‘Forest of Death’, but someone had to find out what was up with the giant tigers eventually and there’s no one better for the job than him. The only other nature mage on the continent is Tenzo, and everyone knows he’s a pushover. You can’t trust someone who regularly ends up footing Bakashi’s bill with a mystery like this.

Obito dodges a five-foot Venus Flytrap, for the third time, and sends a wave of his own magic ahead of him to calm the rather angry nightshade up ahead. If he can avoid being yanked around by a vine like when he first got here, which he’s never admitting happened at all if anyone asks, he should reach the source in less than ten minutes.

He slows his pace as he gets closer. No vines even approach him, and the closer he gets the more subdued the plants become. He reaches a clearing that’s eerily calm and still with one large tree growing up in the center. And by large he means absolutely massive. It’s nearly enough to give a redwood a run for its money. He doesn’t recognize the species, and he knows a lot of trees. It’s definitely the source of the spreading magic, and even if he wasn’t a nature mage up this close he would still be able to tell this tree was some kind of magical.

A cool breeze ruffles the leaves around him. Obito approaches it cautiously with the sudden realization he doesn’t have any plan about what to do when he gets to the source. Oops. Well, he isn’t turning back now. As he gets closer the surrounding noise of the forest dims, until all he can hear is the soft press of his feet on the grass. He presses both of hands against the rough bark, palms flat and fingers splayed, then slowly reaches toward it with his own magic. He searches gently, flowing as close to the natural magic veins as he can, looking for a hint of what’s forming the power growing from the tree.

There’s something underneath. Wrapped in the roots of the tree, or perhaps the roots are growing out of it? Whatever it is, it’s languid as if asleep. It’s larger than him, but not but too much. Still human-sized. Obito pushes more magic towards it, and then more, and more, hoping something will shift or be revealed as outside nature magic merges into the leaking power source. After some time, he’s not even sure the length of, his magic begins to wane, and he moves to pull back.

As his fingertips leave the bark, the ground rumbles beneath him. Obito scrambles backwards as the ground he was standing on begins to buckle upwards, something pushing up from underneath the tree. His back hits a smaller tree on the edge of the clearing as whatever was leaking magic under the massive tree bursts up from the ground. It- he? -lands barely a meter in front of Obito, the ground around them shaking a little under the force.

What the fuck?

“Hello!” the kind-of-person cheers.

“Hi?”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you! I haven’t seen any humans in a long time, even not counting however long I was asleep,” he says.

“Um. Do you sleep beneath trees often?” Obito asks.

“Not technically. It’s just when I do I tend to sleep for a long time,” he clarifies. “I’m Hashirama, and this,” he says, gesturing wildly around them, “is my forest!”

“Your forest. Oooh,” he replies. A powerful nature spirit, if he’s attached to this massive forest. Or even more impressively made it. “I’m Uchiha Obito: nature mage,” he adds, twitching awkwardly as he considers bowing, and then aborts. “The pleasure is all mine.”

“A nature mage,” Hashirama muses aloud, “I’ve met fire mages, water mages, lighting mages, rock mages, wind mages, and even a few animal mages, but I can’t say I’ve ever seen a nature one.”

“We’re rather rare. Like- uh- nature spirits. Can’t say, um, that I’ve met one of those until today either,” Obito stammers, not sure what his contemplative tone means. He isn’t sure if he should be flattered or scared.

“Touché,” he concedes, before steps closer, closing the gap between them in a few large strides. “Let’s be friends,” he chirps.

Well, he seems nice enough so far, and not even Obito’s reckless enough to potentially piss off a powerful spirit. Discounting that one fire spirit he found in a cave, but that doesn’t count.

“Sure,” he replies, “from one friend to another: Can you tell me if you made those giant tigers on purpose?”

“Giant tiger? There’s a giant tiger?” he answers, scrunching his brow in thought.

“Several of them actual.”

“Strange. I don’t remember making any. Maybe I should do something about that,” he says pensively.

“The nearby villagers would definitely appreciate it if you did,” Obito offers, “I could even help you find them, although I’m more of a plant person than an animal one.”

“Ah, don’t tell the wildlife, but so am I,” he confesses. “I would love some help though!” Hashirama cheers, “Come on! We’ve got tigers to find.” He bounds passed Obito and out of the clearing without pausing to make sure he’s being followed.

Obito gives a faint shrug. After a crazy day like this, why not? He follows him steadily. Giving off energy the way he does, there’s no concern about losing track of him.

#narutomagicweek #hashiobi #hashirama #obito #fanfic #my writing

[babbybones]

that probably came across way less jokey than I intended, but generally it is nice artwork that the OP did a great job on! it just feels kind of dishonest (especially when the art portrays a character who gets a TON of fanart and then they tag it with the names of less popular characters. come on now)

i guess that can also kind of segue into people just being awful at tagging in general? i like this site's unique tagging + blacklisting system and it's the reason why i have some trouble letting go; we actually had a community going on where we had a relatively unified way of doing content warnings! but I also felt the consequences of putting my faith into random people's hands pretty often, because again, people suck at tagging or are completely unaware of the whole "undertail" thing or something. i even saw grown-ass adults who were undertale fans the whole time somehow not get it. like when this extremely popular fandom artist thought you were supposed to tag porn with both "undertail" and "undertale" at the same time so their god dam fr*ns porn got recommended onto presumably tons of undertale fans' dashboards. also they had a bunch of "don't be mean to me. don't send any messages about this post" disclaimers on the post because they're an adult I guess 😬

i guess my point is just that people should figure out half-decent tagging etiquette (or maybe even reconsider posting their Freaky Horrifying Shit in a way where the entire earth can see) and set a good example 4 everyone else. those blocklists people hate so much kinda exist partly because people consistently drop the ball so hard on this; blocking everyone is, personally, the only way that I can ensure it's safe to do undertale searches at all

(also you never really know what people are blacklisting so it's just best to be honest in your tags in any case)

#text post #long post

[aroworlds]

Aro-Spec Artist Profile: Alex

Today I have the delight of introducing Alex, better known to aro-spec Tumblr as @arotaro and @mutant-jojos!

Alex is a bisexual, half-Puerto Rican multi-disciplinary aromantic artist and creative with severe ADHD. You’ll find her prolific fanworks on AO3 as EmeraldTrash666, writing primarily for the JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure fandom. Her bold, colourful art for the JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Fullmetal Alchemist, Hetalia, Pokemon and Vocaloid fandoms is also available on Redbubble under the name StellaHagane.

She writes, she creates digital art and she dabbles in music, sewing and fashion design, single-handedly proving that there’s no such thing as too much creative awesome for any one aromantic!

With us Alex talks about finding the word aro, the power of fandom and creative fanworks, her love of aro Jotaro, the challenges of creating with ADHD, the struggles of being an aro gen writer in fandom and the importance of expressing our aro headcanons. Everything she says is absolutely on point, so please let’s give her all our love, encouragement, gratitude, kudos and follows for taking the time to explore what it is to be aromantic and creative.

Can you share with us your story in being aro-spec?

I guess in some ways my “story” starts out pretty typical. Got older, kept waiting for my First Crush™, never got it, started worrying and trying to force myself to develop crushes. I actually was in a relationship with another girl on a forum I was part of as a teenager, but eventually I realized that I didn’t really like her romantically, and the relationship started to become really unpleasant for me. I eventually felt so miserable that I didn’t even want to talk at her at all, even though we were close friends, but I didn’t want to break up with her - partly because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, partly because we were everyone’s “OTP” and I didn’t want my friends to hate me for ruining that. But eventually I did break up with her, and I’m happy to say she took it with grace and we’re still close friends today! (She’s ace and a great writer/artist herself, too!)

I was part of a very nice LGBTQ+ group as a teenager, but I could never figure out my identity. I felt really ashamed and alone. Whenever I brought up how messed up I felt because I’d never had a crush on anyone, everyone was like, “Oh, sounds like you must be asexual!”, but I knew I wasn’t, and that was the worst part. Even though I knew aromanticism was a thing, nobody ever talked about it. It was only ever in the context of aroaces, so I didn’t know I was aro. I thought I must have had some sort of mental illness or something, but certainly not a legitimate orientation, nothing to be proud of like everyone else.

During that time, I found myself connecting on a deep emotional level to characters like Alphonse Elric, Fujiwara no Sai, the X-Men in general (although I’ve been an X-Men fan since I was literally a baby), basically anyone who was somehow “different” from the rest of humanity, even though I never understood why, since I was a fairly privileged kid who had never experienced much bullying or anything. Weirdly enough, it was Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure that helped me realize I was aro and come to terms with it; I saw an interview with Hirohiko Araki, the author of JJBA, where he was asked what type of girls Jotaro Kujo likes, and replied that he didn’t think Jotaro liked girls. The obvious interpretation would be that Jotaro’s gay, but somehow, one way or another, I decided to go with the idea that Jotaro’s aromantic. Jotaro also happened to be a character I really related to for reasons I couldn’t quite articulate, so around the time I was 18 I put two and two together and was like ... oh shit…

Please click keep reading to continue Alex’s story!

Can you share with us the story behind your creativity?

I’ve always been weird in the way I’m very creative, but tend to kinda bounce around from hobby to hobby. Other people draw, or write, or sing, while I draw for a month, and then write for a month and sew for a week and play video games for a week, and then I draw some more, and then I try out something completely new, and then I write again. I think it must be an ADHD thing, idk. In any case, I’ve just always been really passionate about making stuff, whatever that stuff happens to be.

I’ve also always been very much fandom-oriented. Ever since I was a toddler, I used to dictate fanfiction to my mom (back then it usually involved Winnie the Pooh, the Powerpuff Girls, Godzilla, and my dog). I mostly draw fanart. I find that I’m not really capable of writing original stories, but I’m great at getting fanfics in character, and I love writing them. I love taking stories I already love and reinterpreting them, seeing what it would be like if the characters were put into different situations, etc.

Because of my ADHD, I really struggle with actually finishing things. I try really really hard, I really do, and I’ve been trying to push myself even harder these past few years. I’ve made progress, but it’s still extremely difficult, so I’m very sorry for all the projects I’ve abandoned over the years. Sorry I still haven’t finished the fic that was supposed to be done in early March. I’m trying, really. I promise I’m working on the next chapter of BLaD, too.

Are there any particular ways your aro-spec experience is expressed in your art?

Of course, pretty much everything I write is gen. Even if I include romantic relationships in my fics, I never write about romance, just stories which also happen to include some characters who might be dating someone. And obviously I always write Jotaro as aro! That’s really important to me. No matter which AU I’m writing, he’s always aro. (And autistic, but that’s off topic.)

I’m also not really into shipping because of my romance repulsion, but I ship Joseph Joestar and Caesar Zeppeli. The thing is … I’ve always viewed it as a unique relationship, sort of difficult to define as being strictly romantic or platonic or sexual, just kind of their own thing that defies words. That’s how I’ve always written it. I had the sudden realization recently that this strange view on the only ship I really actually like (at the moment, anyway) is probably due to my being aro, lmao.

What challenges do you face as an aro-spec artist?

People don’t read gen fics, and people aren’t interested in aro stories. That’s just the way it is. I do have some dedicated readers, whom I love deeply, but in general… I could post something with a deep plot, something funny and dramatic and witty and touching, something I poured my heart and soul into for months, and it’ll get very few hits/comments/kudos, while someone else could post the same generic 2,000-word romance fic everyone’s seen a dozen times over, with no editing or anything, and get twice the amount of traffic my fics do in half the time. It’s really crushing.

How do you connect to the aro-spec and a-spec communities as an aro-spec person?

I dunno… The aro community feels so small. Online, I have a small circle of aro mutuals who all kind of vent collectively, and I’m part of Arocalypse and a few aro/aspec Discord servers, but I still feel like there isn’t really much of a larger community to be part of in the same way that there is for other orientations. Offline, I’ve never met another aro, or even anyone who actually knows what aromanticism is prior to me explaining it to them.

I also don’t feel like there’s a very unified “aspec community”. As an allo aro, I feel very rejected by the ace community - not to say that I feel like I should be part of the ace community, since I’m not ace, but I feel like they throw aros under the bus a lot. I mean, we’ve all seen the “asexuals can feel love, just like anybody else! … oh, except for aroaces, I guess. But the rest of us are normal, so you should accept us!” rhetoric. Both within and outside the aspec communities, aros are rarely treated with the same priority as aces, even though we’re arguably in a much more difficult position than your average allo ace.

That being said, I’m glad there is an aro community at all. I don’t know where I’d be now if I were still questioning. Probably not in a very good place.

How do you connect to your creative community as an aro-spec person?

As I mentioned, there’s a general lack of interest in gen fics or sympathy for romance-repulsed people in general. It’s really difficult being romance repulsed in fandom spaces, because nobody cares about anything other than ships. There are very few gen fics, and even less that are a decent length, not abandoned, or cater to my specific interests, so I have to write my own. I don’t often have anything good to read; most of the big fics, the ones with cool plots and long word counts and ongoing updates, are ship fics. If I’m lucky, maybe two gen fics will be posted in one week, and maybe one of them will be longer than a few thousand words. Maybe one might even have my favorite characters. But usually genfics are few and far between, and kind of random in terms of what you’ll get. Sometimes I get so bored that I read ship fics anyway, and then I always wind up feeling really awful afterwards.

I’ve written, over the course of the past two years alone, over 20 gen fics. But whenever I vent that sometimes I’d like to actually get to read something, I always get someone telling me, “Well if you want gen fics, write some yourself! You have to make the change! You can’t demand people write stuff for you!” And of course, at the same time it’s totally acceptable to request ship fics from your favorite author, and if you complain that there aren’t enough fics for your rarepair, it’s seen as relatable and totally valid.

Fandom is just … really, really amatonormative, tbh. I hate it. I’m trying to make a difference (I did organize Gen Jojo Week along with my friend Rachel last year, and hopefully will again this year), but there’s only so much I can do.

How can the aro-spec community best help you as a creative?

Aside from reblogging my art and promoting my fics? Talk about stuff. Talk about aro stuff in fandom. Seriously! I know it seems obvious that aro people would like aro headcanons and gen fics and all that, but we need to talk about them more. Nobody outside the community gives enough of a shit about us to have aro headcanons, so let’s get them popular. Talk about your favorite aro headcanons. Talk about your favorite gen fics. Talk about how such-and-such character is totally aro; talk about how excited you are to see aro characters in fics. My dream is for aro headcanons to become just as common and popular as any other type of headcanon.

Can you share with us something about your current project?

This is old news to most of the people who already know me, but my current big project that I’ve been working on for several years now is Between Life and Death, a drama/horror/supernatural JJBA fic.

(WARNING: PHANTOM BLOOD AND STARDUST CRUSADERS SPOILERS BELOW.)

The plot of the fic is that Dio wins at the end of Stardust Crusaders, and after realizing that he has no hobbies other than harassing the Joestars, he decides to bring Jonathan back by sticking his head (which… we’ll just assume Dio preserved for plot purposes) onto Jotaro’s body. Obviously, Jonathan is NOT happy with this arrangement, but it also turns out that Jotaro’s still alive, just not in control of his body. He can still use his stand, so he essentially uses Star Platinum as a sort of proxy for interacting with the environment around him, even though he only comes out when Jonathan’s alone since he doesn’t want Dio to know he’s alive.

Basically, it’s the story of a depressed vampire and a traumatized ghost. It’s a very introspective fic; most of the story consists of conflicts between Dio and Jonathan, and Jonathan and Jotaro struggling to come to terms with their new existences - Jonathan being unable to reconcile vampirism with his personal morals, and Jotaro having one hell of an identity crisis while also mourning the deaths of his friends and family. The plot is picking up, though, and there is an end goal in mind, as well as an eventual sequel!

As for where the story-in-progress is at right now … well, the next “stage” of the plot is hamon training for Kakyoin and Avdol, which will be fun. This chapter also includes several dream sequences, including an extended appearance by Mary Joestar (Jonathan’s mom), and a very serious and dark scene which I almost ruined by having dream!Will Zeppeli refer to Jonathan as his padawan. Yeah.

Have you any forthcoming works we should look forward to?

As mentioned, I’m working on chapter 9 of Between Life and Death! And working on and off on some stuff for the mutants AU. Most recently, on a whim I rewrote the lyrics to Handbeat Clocktower by MOTHY to be about Jonathan Joestar. Somehow this went far enough that I’m making an actual UTAU rendition of this “parody”, and hopefully it’ll be done sometime in the next few weeks. I’m really having fun with it and I hope people like it!

#aro spec artist profiles #arotaro #emeraldtrash666 #mutantjojos #text #undescribed #artwork and visual #fanwork #fanfiction #fanart #long post #very long post #aromantic #support our aro spec creatives if you can #aromantic and bisexual #alloaro #ao3 #link #amatonormativity #arospec community #amatonormativity in creativity #redbubble #stellahagane

[quousque]

11 Tag

(Rules: Answer eleven questions, make eleven questions and tag eleven people)

Thanks @forgetting-how-to-breathe for tagging me!

What’s your favourite genre of music?

I like a lot of stuff, tbh, but my favorite is stuff I can sing along to. I listen to a lot of classic rock (first radio station I found when I moved to Missoula and I never changed it), and old country music (Kingston Trio, thanks mom)

What’s your favourite kind of book to read? (This doesn’t have to be restricted to genre answers)

I read a lot of fantasy books, but lately I’ve been gravitating towards informative nonfiction, like books on Roman/Greek history and culture, or books about specific topics (e.g. history of spinning, weaving, and fiber crafts).

Do you prefer TV series or films?

Series, because there’s so much more material for the fandom to work with, so there’s usually a greater variety and abundance of ships, headcanons, etc. And the fandoms stay more active for longer, because of the extended release of content.

Do you have a favourite place?

Interlochen, Michigan would have to be high up there. My grandparents have a cottage on a lake and my family visited every summer when I was a kid. 

Do you have a fairly set day to day routine or do you fly be the seat of your pants?

A mix of both. I have a set routine for getting ready in the morning, and a set routine for getting ready for the next day (if I don’t pack everything I need for the next day the night before, I am 100% guaranteed to forget something AND be late). My going to bed routine is a mess, but better than it was. If one tiny thing in the sleep routine goes wrong, all of my routines fall apart and it takes weeks to put it back together. So I work really hard to safeguard my routines, but I end up flying by the seat of my pants a lot anyway.

What’s one thing you wish you could change? (About yourself, the world, the universe, whatever)

I would want to not have ADHD. If someone offered to snap their fingers and cure it instantly, literally reform my brain so it worked properly, I would say yes with no hesitation. It’s a debilitating disability that affects literally every aspect of my life, and is indirectly responsible for a lot of emotional and physical pain. 

How would you describe your sense of style?

mix of form-fitting (ish) athletic wear because I do some form of sports 6 days a week, graphic tshirts from when I was dressing exclusively in loose, baggy men’s clothing, and beginning to branch out into more standard women’s clothes (for instance, I own one (1) pair of jeans. Sure they’re men’s skinny jeans, but they fit me better than any women’s jeans I’ve ever worn). The unifying factor is that everything I wear has POCKETS.

How would you describe the aesthetic of your living space? Is it different or the same from your goal aesthetic?

nonexistent, as I’m between places currently. But judging by my last place, the aesthetic is Workbench in the Corner, Knick-knacks on the Shelves, Lots of Stuff, and also Where is the Floor, Why is your Room Carpeted in Clothes and Piles of Paper?. I’ve been working really hard on not having a constant mess, and though no one would call me neat, I’ve improved a lot. Hopefully one day I’ll have a lot less stuff (keeping the knick-knacks tho), and I won’t leave a whole bunch of shit on the floor all the time.

Do you have any odd hobbies or skills? (Odd here can be defined in a broad sense, or in a “I’m the only one of my friends that knows how to__” kind of way)

I’m a fencer, which isn’t too common. I also like to construct costumes, but, like, out of random shit I find lying around and almost always last-minute. Last-minute costuming on the cheap is my jam. I’m also into storytelling, LARP/roleplaying (improv acting, even though I’ve never actually taken an improv class), and solving random problems by building something. I often see something and think “I could do that better” or “No one does this in a way that’s perfect for me, so I guess I will”. Thus, I’ve made my own shoes, sports bras, fencing chest protector, fencing test box socket adaptor, extra tall workbench so I can stand while I work, etc.

What is your dream job?

Maybe a therapist? Or an ADHD coach. Something that involves helping people, in a teaching kind of way, but where I’m providing the environment and coaching for them to figure it out themselves. I want to help people non-neurotypical people who struggle with things that other people don’t struggle with, because I know that struggle, I know how hard it is. And I’m pretty good at listening to people and making them feel understood, which is a skill I’d like to build on. I also want a job where I can set my own schedule, take large chunks of time off, leaves room for lots of hobbies, pays well enough, and is engaging so that there’s always a new problem to solve, but not so demanding that I end up dedicating all my time and energy to it.

Another dream job would be designing gear- for fencing, hiking/backpacking, travel, etc.

What would your dream home look like?

Small and easy to maintain, with a small work out area and a large workshop. Far away from traffic noise, with a nice view and a nice yard. Preferably next to open space. Walking distance from grocery stores, job, most places I’d need to go. Not more than 20 minute drive away from friends, work, etc. Any color except beige.

I’m tagging @olofahere , @terpsikeraunos , @persian-slipper , @freeformtarsier , @bee-fabulous , @punk-lucifer , @oddchelonian , @lost-in-pink , @shadowmaat, @aethersea , and @anexperimentallife !

Questions for y’all to answer:

1. Would you rather have ripped arms, or really jacked legs? Why?

2. If you could instantly become pretty good (like, won state high school championships good, not olympic good) at any sport or other activity, what would you choose?

3. Ideal living situation, in terms of people you’re living with. Alone? Nuclear family? Just significant other? Roommates? Platonic life partners? Three generations of family? Polycule? You and 500 cats?

4. If you could change one thing about your town/city/place of habitation, what would you change?

5. If your current country of residence were to decide to move its capitol, where do you think they should put it, and why?

6. What thing have you done this past week that you are most proud of?

7. What was the most confusing, perplexing, or befuddling thing that happened to you in the past week?

8. What are you most looking forward to in the coming week?

9. If you are in any fandoms, what is the fandom you are currently most active in? What do you like best about it? What would you change? 

10. stupidest reason you’ve ever decided you like something?

11. A unicorn bewitches you such that every time you hear someone snap their fingers, you turn into a certain animal (and back when you hear another snap). What animal would you choose to turn into?

[who-gives-a-ship]

Let’s Bring Back Apathy

My URL isn’t just a great pun, it’s also how I honestly feel about a lot of shipping and fandom discourse in general. Who gives a shit what you ship? I sure don’t. I have some OTPs, but I don’t have any ships that I actually hate, just a lot I’m pretty apathetic to. And I think apathy is an important part of interacting with fandom.

Fandom is a thousand individually tailored experiences all at once. It’s a shotgun blast at a sea of small targets. Maybe some hit, maybe some don’t. Fan creators have this wonderful opportunity to create exactly what they want to see in the world without having to worry about stuff like investors or mass-market appeal. You want to tell a story about your favorite character dealing with your mental illness or your orientation? Go right ahead. Have a weirdly specific kink you want to make content for? Nobody’s stopping you. Any kind of unusual headcanon or art style or crossover you’re interested in? You are 100% in charge of this project and you can make it whatever you want. There’s no board of directors, no publishing company you have to please, nothing. And the result is a very diverse range of content.

Of course, one person’s trash is another person’s kink. The flipside of not having to appeal to everybody is, well, not appealing to everybody. We’ve all seen fan content that really didn’t appeal to us, the old fandom ‘cringe’ pictures of Sonic in various fetish situations and all the rest. That’s going to happen when you’re dealing with such an individualized range of content. The important part is how you handle the situation, and that’s where apathy comes in.

The standard fandom practice for dealing with something that doesn’t appeal to you is apathy. Things like ship names and tags exist so people have something to search to narrow down fandom into specific categories. Websites like Ao3 are built with this in mind, listing tags even before a story’s summary. Browsing fandom is sifting through chaos to find echoes of yourself. Everybody is looking for a very specific experience, for someone else like them. That can be in little ways, like a certain favorite character or OTP, or in very personal ways, like identity or kink. And there’s an unspoken rule that everybody is just as weird as everybody else. I’m looking for my weird kink and you’re looking for yours. We’re all in glass houses and nobody needs to be throwing any stones. The proper response to seeing something that squicks you out is to move along with your day. But at some point in the recent years, that’s been ignored.

The anti movement is about criticizing fandom for not providing the ‘correct’ experience, and that’s a fundamentally flawed premise. There is no unified fandom experience, just a whole bunch of different, highly individualized experiences. You want a sfw fandom? Well, there’s sfw spaces, but there’s plenty of nsfw spaces as well. You don’t like a certain range of ships? Great, stick to your particular tag, but they aren’t going away. You really hate a kink? You can blacklist it, but it won’t erase the community from existence or anything. So I can see how that’s frustrating to some people, especially when complicated stuff like morality gets tangled up in it. And that’s why apathy is so important. The ability to simply not care what other people in fandom are doing is essential to enjoying your specific corner of content. Otherwise, the glass houses kick in and we’re dealing with a fight that has no winner. Everybody’s weird and nobody has a true moral high ground. So you might as well stop giving a shit and be nice to people.

#pro shipping #anti anti #be nice to people #pro kink #pro kink artists #keep doing your best kink artists #ilu