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chuuyanaurkahara · 1 year

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The Shrenaissance, by my sister and me:

An: omgggg haiii guyyyysssss✌️🤗 thankyew ferrr reddin my stroy❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺 luttssss of live🇬🇧😔🙏✌️✌️

Chaptit uno

“Omgggg nooooo!!” Creamed y/n. 😱 “What?” Yelled lord fartquaq 😈😈😈 “I’m going to sell you to people becuz your super peretty” the guards grabbed me ass I cried sadly. “ “noooo don’t sell meeee🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺, I get that I have light brown with blonde streaks hair, and pink eyezzzz with greEn polka dotzzz and purlbees zigzaddy lines, And I’m not like ovvfer gworlzzzZZz 👉👈😔🪳🥵 butt please don’t sell me into salvery😭😭😭😭”.

“Too late fer dat” yelld lord lord farquag 🖤🤬🪓🔥🔥🔥🔥😞😞😞.

“Auaaaaaaaaaah” y/n cried scradely 💀💔💔.

Before y/n knew it she was in the fairytale slvarey market ⛓⛓⛓with mean evil wiches 🧙♀️ named tiffany and Brittany( an: heckkkku tifff and britit u r buwwwies and No wun like u 😡) who were to sell me to the p3d0 muffin man. The muffin c@me running at me with a wot of munneee 💸💸💸💸🤑🤑🤑 in his thiccc beefy hamdsss. When alof zA suoddenn a loud Scottish 🏴 seccsy voice boomed out “noooooooo I will not let u buy this gurlll!!!!!👿👿👿🤬🤬🤬”

Chabit deux

I luuk uup at dis green 💚💚💚, kinda hot monster. He had a giggachad chin, a total dad bod which is hot 👈🥵 and two ears that pointed east and west (the two most hottest directionz 🧭🥵🥵🥵🥵) that remind me trumpetttts. In his deep, angy scootish accent “let herr go laddy befure I ootuerly PUCK you up.” The guards all run avvay 🏃♂️🏃♀️ He grasped the cage lid and ripped it open, he took me by the hand and lifted me like a bride (AAAAAHHHHHHHH 😫😩😫😫😫) he looked down at me with his bruun orbs 🤎🪳 and I to his with my blu 💙eYes. And he said “you’re safe now, Y/N” “cum with meh to Zach svanmp y/n”

Chabbir tree

Y/n gazed at the back of shreks head as he lead her to his swamp💚💚💚 “dadd-…I mean shrek, why did you rescue me?”🤔🤔

“Because, y/n I just…..f-f-feilt loike aye shed” Shrek said. Y/n cried tears out of her pisssss yellerrr saucers 😭😭😭, which gleamed in the morning sun. Shrek gazed in y/n’s eyes 👀 with the essence sad sorrow “Etts owkeh y/n I weallll protectchu”💯💯💯☝️😿😿😿 “shrek!?😫😫😫” y/n whispered. “Yesh y/n I am here ferr yuh”. “O-o-okk-k” y/n chattered shyly.

Shrek and y/n made eye contact that lasted for 4 hours, ⏰⏰⏰ every second they blushed a darker shade of red until the couldn’t take it anymoooreh🫣🫣😫. Y/n’s eyelids were slowly fluttering closed 😴😴😴as the sun set, she wuzz abutt to collapse when Shrek caught her before she fell of a scary emo cliff🖤🖤🖤 wiff sharp Goffic rocks at the bottom👹🤡👺😈. shreiekle caught y/n and her THICC booty sheekss squished 🍑 against the larg moosculiar bikeppzzz. “Shrek?” Muttered y/n in her sleep. “ y/n I wee tahke you home” Shrekkler carried y/n down a moonlit path to his swamp😏😏😏

Chubber frour

(A.N so in dis stowwee Feowner doesn’t exist so shwexk is knowt sheatinq on hewww)

Y/n woke up at 2 am in sherk s lether bed. Since shreks swamp couldn’t support electricle which meant Shrek had to light a buncha campbells 🕯🕯🕯🕯. The candelllas set a hawt golden staemy mood for y/n and she felt so exhilaratingly semexely.🫣🫣🫣

When sussendly she felt a huge braeth on the back of her mekc, she turned around and Shrek was lying right nevst to her.😏 He was awake and just layin der staring at y/n’s lime green ayballs 👀

Y/n moved her arm to feel Shreks cheek wen she realized she was completely nekid. 💦🥵

“Shrek whore are mai cwoves” y/n blushed 😳shit browm “o irm soorrrry aboot theht, but when I carrying yeh holm yoh feill ootah my Erms and into a deep peddle”

There was a moment of silence and then y/n climbed on top of Shrok in the sexy way and arched her 2 mile wid arse.😈😫

Shrek flipped her over on the beed (🐝cuz shreee likes to be doominant 😏🥵🥴)

Thert Wes wen y/n realized Shrek was niked

Too. Y/n look down at shreks sausig 🍆💚and was severely turned un to see it was 2 feert lung. “Shrek,… are you sure about this?? 👉👈😫😫 y/n asked hottly.

Withought sayinq antyfing Shrek put his thingy in her you know wut. And they fugded fer 50 hours. 😫🥵😳🥺😍😏🥴

Choooop fiff

Y/n woke up and she could barely get out uv

Beb because off how sore her cooter was 😖, butt shi got op anywayzz. When she went to da baffwoom it huwwt so bad to pee but after she ped and went to wipa her hoochie 🧻

Buttt the the toilet pappir was gweenis 🥦 amb smelled like unyuns 🧅🧅🧅.

Y/n was shookered. She knew it wusnt his cum 🐝cuz he had shot sum on her last night and it was bright yellow. 💛

Y/n scerdly crept oot of da barfroom 😰

“S-Shrek.. “ y/n said “yerhh?” Shrek responded “wen I went pii it was bright green and smelled lik unions, so you know wat it ees?” Y/n said shyly 🦨🦨🦨

“O….. urmh sooo…. Ummmm” Shrek said nervously” 🫣😓😬 y/n stard at hem pleadingly🥺🥺🥺 “ soo ummm I might hev mehbeh peesssed in you” Shrek blurted out

Y/n’s picht blak ayes filled with tears.🥺

Chillie sex

Y/n tan oot if the swamp cring 😭😭👀 “how cood sHreik do this to meeeeeee she wpet. When all of the sudden she sooped in her traks when she sa a hawt gray beefy dunkey.🥵🥩 “aye chihuahua grill, what’s ring mamasita” the dunkler said loodly “ SHREP AND I SID THE SMEX AND HE PESSED INMY VIRGINIA 🪳🪳🪳“ y/n scream as she fell to the floor and a waterfall of shreks voluminous saucy piizz flooded out of her biscuit 😱😱😱💚🍑🥓.

“Hot diggity dog grull, dat sux” dinky tan over to cumfart y/n 🥺🥺🥺 when all of lord fromagedart’s men ran at them with giant speeerzzz🔪🔪🔪. The p3d0 muffin was there too and he jumped on y/n and snd stared drinking the Shrek pii out off her tumbel tunnel and then he rapped her

“Aaaueguurriiureeeeeee” y/n scremed as he thrust his toes into her 🦶🦶🦶

“HOLY MOTHER OF WAP” doonkey sheeked 😱😱😱in mecksican horre. Than he strated too kik everone in da faces With his juicy paws. Then dlunker hippity hoped over to y/n and she scardle climed on his bac into the sunset 🌮🇲🇽🌯🌮

Chipter Steven

Y/n and donker made safley to donkees krib. Y/n was still necked and her huge b♾B$ were nonconformist and boonsing seggsisly in da wimd. Donkey stred down at them from his 9’11. Height “ dam girl those bvvbs are hawter den abuelita’s chili. “Y/n was super trimmed om 👉👈😏 “dang shawty” she said trying impress him with her Italian. “Woah girl it sound like you wanna fiesta in my cama” dinky said putting f boy face 😗😎😎🪳 “fiesta salsa qinceñera™️” 👉👈😚 y/n sang so anjeliclee that brids started swarming aroond her tamales 🌮🌮😏 dunkin picked y/n up in he’s beefy erms and brought her into his bed. danky climed on top of her and right as he slid a cundom on Shrimp busted through dikiys door “WET AR YEH DOIN IN HIS SWAMPPP😭😭😭” Shremk scrammed. “I can eggsplain” said y/n. But donkey had enough of the dramma and start fuugin her right there 😤😫 donkeys pp what’s three feet long and tres feet wide🍆 song y/n couldn’t keep talking when he was thrusting at her going 10,000 mph. But not all of Shreks peese had come out of her that day and since it had no where else to leave from shreks pee went up y/n’s throaght and straight into her lunges and y/n strated to drowm. 😱😭😱😭🪳Shrek pushd dlunker offff y/n and held her corpse in his big beefy armes, he realized she died and closed her silver eye’s eyelids. 🥺🥺🥺

Two days later donkey was a convinted feline fro murder 🔪🗡🩸😩 and they had y/n’s funeral all of the kingdom showed oop and cured a lot.😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

FIN oui oui

OMG THIS IS SO GREAT I LOVE THIS. /serious

there should be more stories like this in the world, they're so fun to read in my opinion. thank you for sharing this!

#egg answers

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silly-ez · 1 year

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According 🔛 to all 💯 known 🎓✔ laws 😾👮🏻❌ of aviation ✈, there is no 😣 way ↕ a bee 🐝 should be able 💪 to fly ✈🌬. Its wings 🍗🤡 are too small 🙀😼💁🏻 to get 🉐◀🔁 its fat 🐋 little 👌 body 😍 off 📴 the ground 😫. The bee 🍯, of course 🏎, flies 🐦 anyway 🙄 because bees 🐝 don't ❌🙅‍♀️🚫 care 💅 what humans 👤 think 💭 is impossible ❌. Yellow 💛, black ⚫. Yellow ⚠, black ⬛. Yellow 💛, black ⚫. Yellow ⚠, black ⬛. Ooh 😮, black ⬛ and yellow 💛! Let's 🥺 shake 😲 it up ☝ a little 👌. Barry 🍓! Breakfast 🍳 is ready 😏😛🍆! Ooming 😡😠😾! Hang 🙃 on 🔛 a second ⏱. Hello 👋🙋? - Barry 🍓? - Adam 👨🏽? - Oan 👅🔥 you 👈 believe 🙏 this is happening 😱? - I 👥 can't 🚫. I'll 📝 pick ⛏ you 👉 up ⬆. Looking 👀 sharp 🔪. Use 😏 the stairs 💥🙊😳. Your 👉 father 👨🎅 paid 💧 good 👌 money 💰💸💵 for those. Sorry 🙇. I'm 💘 excited 💖😁. Here's 👈 the graduate 🥳👨‍🎓. We're very 🙌✅ proud 😤 of you 👈, son 🌞. A perfect 👌 report 📄 card 💳, all 😤 B's 😎. Very 😼👌💥 proud 😤. Ma! I 👁 got 🍸 a thing 🕑 going 🏃💨🏢 here. - You 👉 got 🍸 lint 👄😋 on 🔛 your 👉 fuzz 🦁. - Ow 💧🅱! That's ✔ me! - Wave 🌊 to us 👨! We'll 😤😯 be in row 🚣‍♂️ 118,000 ✈🏢. - Bye 🤚👋🙃! Barry 🍓🍞, I 👁 told 👄 you 👈, stop 🚫 flying 🛸🐦 in the house 🏠! - Hey 👋😀, Adam 👱🏻‍♂️. - Hey 👋🏼, Barry 🍓. - Is that fuzz 🦁 gel 🤔? - A little 👌. Special 👉😎👈 day 🌞, graduation 🎓. Never 🙅🏽 thought 🤔 I'd 🙏 make 🖕 it. Three 3️⃣ days 🌞 grade 📝 school 🏫, three 3️⃣ days 🌞 high ⬆ school 🏫. Those were awkward 😕. Three 🍗 days 🌞 college 👨🏿‍🎓. I'm 💘 glad ☺ I 👁 took 👊 a day 📆📅 and hitchhiked 😉😝 around 🔃 the hive 🐝. You 👈😩👉 did come 💦👅 back 🔙 different 😡. - Hi 💦, Barry 🅱🐝. - Artie 🅰, growing 🌱 a mustache 👨🏻? Looks 👀 good 👌👍🏾. - Hear 🙉 about Frankie 👳💀? - Yeah 🙌. - You 👈 going 🏃 to the funeral 😔👻🌹? - No 😣, I'm 💘 not going 👉. Everybody 👴👵👨 knows 🤔😅🤷‍♂️, sting 🤗 someone 👤, you 👈 die 💀☠⚰. Don't 🙅‍♂️🚫 waste 🗑🚻💩 it on 🔛 a squirrel 🌰. Such a hothead 🥵. I 👁 guess 🤔 he 👥 could have just gotten 💘 out of the way ↕. I 👁 love ❤ this incorporating 🔥 an amusement 😁 park 🅿 into our day 🌞. That's ✔ why 🤔⁉ we don't 🚫 need 😩 vacations 🌅. Boy 👶, quite 📺 a bit 😁 of pomp 😎... under ⬇ the circumstances ❌. - Well 😦, Adam 🤑😍😅, today 📆 we are men 👦. - We are! - Bee-men 🐝. - Amen 🙏! Hallelujah 😩👳🏿👌! Students 🔬, faculty 😷, distinguished 🅱 bees 🐝🅱, please 🙏 welcome 👽 Dean 🎭 Buzzwell 💀. Welcome 👋🏻, New 🆕✨ Hive 😧🤔 Oity 🍎🍑👖 graduating 😠 class 🏫 of... ...9:15 🅱. That concludes 🔚 our ceremonies 🎑. And begins 🔘 your 👉 career 👨🏻‍💻 at Honex 💯 Industries 💦🏭✋! Will we pick ⛏ ourjob today 📅? I 👁 heard 👂👀🙉 it's just orientation 💯🅱. Heads 💆 up ☝! Here we go 🏃. Keep 👌 your 👉 hands 👋 and antennas 📶💠 inside 💠 the tram 🚋 at all 💯 times 🕐. - Wonder 🤔💭 what it'll 👼☝🙏 be like 💖? - A little 👶 scary 😱. Welcome 👽 to Honex 💯, a division ➗ of Honesco and a part 〽 of the Hexagon 💯👌👀 Group 👥🚹. This is it! Wow 😮. Wow 😮. We know 🤔 that you 👈, as a bee 🐝, have worked 🏢 your 👉 whole 💦😍 life 💓 to get 🔟 to the point 📍 where you 👉 can work 🏢 for your 👉 whole 😏💦👅 life 👤. Honey 🍯 begins 🔘 when ⏰ our valiant 👅🅱 Pollen 😡😠 Jocks 🍎 bring 👎 the nectar 😩 to the hive 🐝. Our top-secret 🙊 formula 😃 is automatically 🤖 color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing 💦 sweet 🍬 syrup 🍯 with its distinctive 🍎🍑👖 golden 💰 glow 😍 you 👈 know 💭 as... Honey 🍯! - That girl 👧 was hot 🔥. - She's 👧 my cousin 👦! - She 👩🏼 is? - Yes 👍🎓🌌, we're all 💯 cousins 👦. - Right 👌. You're right ✔. - At Honex 💯, we constantly 🔆 strive 👌 to improve ⬆ every 💯🔞 aspect 😪😉 of bee ❗🐝 existence 💁. These bees 🐝🍆 are stress-testing 💯 a new 🆕 helmet 🛡 technology 📱. - What do you 👉🏻 think 🤔🅰 he 👨 makes 🖕? - Not enough 🌊💦. Here we have our latest 😼👌💥 advancement 🎊, the Krelman 🍆👅🐔. - What does that do? - Oatches 👳 that little 👶👅🍵 strand 🗺❓ of honey 🍯 that hangs 😜 after 👀 you 🧐👉 pour 🌊💦 it. Saves 📑 us 👨 millions 😂. Oan 👱🏻‍♀️ anyone 🙋🙏 work 💼 on 🔛 the Krelman 👐? Of course 🏎. Most bee 🍯🚔 jobs 💼 are small 👌 ones 1️⃣😬😤. But 😉🍑 bees 🍯 know 🤔 that every 💯 small 👌 job 💼, if it's done ✅ well 😦, means 😏 a lot 🍑. But 🍑 choose 🤔 carefully ⚠ because you'll stay ✋ in the job 💼 you 👉 pick ⛏ for the rest 😪 of your 👉 life 💓

I can't read.

#but i can kiss #lets make out #i love you

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maxstats · 10 hours

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Shidou: ACHOO!! what was that, sexy? 😏😏😩 don’t you know the WHOREable 👎coronavirus is CUMMING to ASSmerica? 🇺🇸🤢🤕 🤒🤤 that means NO more COLD CORONAS 🙅‍♂️🍺🙅‍♀️🍻with the HOEmies, ONLY gator-RAIDing that p😼ssy 🙌🙌 more than your 👃nose👃 is gonna get BLOWN 😩🍆💦 the BREAST doctor DADDIES 👨‍⚕️🙈😰 from the WORLD HOE ORGANIZATION 🌎🤤🤤 and the C-D-SEMEN 😙👄 are calling HOE-VID19 a potential PANTYdemic 👙👀 they’re checking you out ✅😜🦠🔬 of the emergenSLUT room 🏥💋 and into 🔜 quaranPENIS 🚨🚒 it’s time to see what that mouth do 😏👅😤 put that throat to work 😳🥵 and avoid getting too HOT🔥🔥 and BOTHERED 🤒🥴 it’s imporTAINT to wash your hands…AND that DICK 🍆🍆🤚👏❕ time⌚️⏰ to stop being a DIRTY 😬🤧 slut and start TWERKING FROM HOME 😈😈😈 SPREAD your LEGS🤸‍♂️ but NOT❗️❗️❗️❗️ SIMPness 🤢🤢 because we’re only Arma-GETTIN that POON 😝🍑🤗 so lets get electroLIT 🤪⚡️❗️rock your SEXY antiBODY 💃 strip SNEEZE 👏💵👠 with your MASK 😷 ON 🔛💯👌 and don’t get TRUMPED 🍊🍊🍊by this virASS 🤝🤝 SEND THIS TO 10 other coronavirus CUNTS 👄💦 otherwise you’ll get an IN-FUCK-TION 🍆🍑🦠

rin was taking a thirty minute break from his study time before going back to finalizing his note cards for the political science chapters he was going to be tested on. he figured he could do something with something mind-numbing, nothing serious as he's on his phone surfing through instagram. he decides to peek at a few stories before going through his feed. however, something catches his eye as a notification, he decides to click it & he knows the instant regret that floods his veins.

he could feel his forehead throbbing, a glare permanently on his face as he reads through the most ridiculous chain text he's ever received. this could only be a shidou text, his next-door neighbor & his nii-chan's former fling. somehow by the cards drawn he would say his luck is awful, but here he is deciding to entertain his annoying neighbor.

[ 1 ] message received. composing sms message: < roach next door >

rin: why the hell are you sending me this? rin: don't even say this nasty message was on accident. rin: i'm convinced this is how you get your hook-ups. rin: deplorable. rin: being bored is an overrated excuse. [ 5 ] messages sent

rin decides he's done with his break now, he would rather study.

@nissho-ku / for shidou

#nissho ku #* — ( ɪᴄ. )#.* — ( ᴛʙᴛ. )#day 10000 of needing a tag #fksjfdlsjf #anyways he's irritated #so irritated that he's like that's enough #i'm going back to studying

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willywonker3000 · 5 months

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its a little late for this but heres something i wrote that im really proud of

its a sweet little christmas message

a jizzmas message

tw: SEXY EMOJIS and SEXY SANTAS 😈

its the WHOREIDAYS🎄🎅, SLUTS! 🤑🤑 time to make a christMESS💦💦 on my SHEETS 🫡 to celebrate MARY🤔🤰 having HOT STEAMY SEX👅👅 with GOD 🤷‍♂️🔥🔥 so lets MOUNT🙈🙈 a TREE AND a DICK🍆‼️ and get in the HOLLY JOLLY SPIRIT 😍🔥🔥 unwrap MY PANTS👖‼️and make me sing😳🎶 FA LA LA 💦 SANTAS CUMMING TO TOWN🤑💨 so invite him in for a BIG ORGY‼️🤤‼️ those elves👬 give GREAT HANDJOBS🫡🫱💦 dont miss out 😳😳 ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS is a BIG WIDE LOAD🍆🍑🌊 in my ASS!!!🤑🤑 its a CHRISTMAS MIRACLE🤔if i do say so myself🤷‍♂️⁉️⁉️ its time⏰to JINGLE those BELLS 🔔💁‍♀️and PUT THOSE PACKAGES📦 TO USE💦😝😝 STOCKINGS🧦 arent the ONLY THINGS 🙅‍♂️‼️ getting STUFFED by the FIREPLACE TONIGHT🔥😳💦 so make some DELICIOUS😵‍💫😵‍💫CREAMPIES🌊🥧😝 with a side of MILK 😋😋 STRAIGHT from the SOURCE😳😳!!!LET IT SNOW 🥶❄️amirite guys 😛😛 so FILL YOURSELF with JOY😸😸 as in your NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR JOY!🫶and her HOTTIE HUSBAND 🥵🥵💦STEVE!!❤️ HOE HOE HOE💦💦 and have a NOT-SO-SILENT🪢🗣️🗣️ NIGHT with PANTY👙claus!!!

based off of a thanksgiving message i saw once, feel free to add it if yk what im talking about

#idk what tags to use #christmas #shitpost #sex jokes #innapropriate jokes #my number one favorite humor <3 #jingle balls #not the korn song #ok maybe the korn song

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dawninlatin · 2 years

Text

My reactions while reading HOSAB for those who are interested😌

OBVIOUSLY major spoilers below the cut!

-The Hind: *does literally anything*

Me: *laughs nervously* am I attracted to this?😳

-Hunt cut his hair?! I mean he’s still hot, but the mental gymnastics I have to do to change my image of a fictional character-

-I never learned the difference between Flynn and Declan, and at this point it’s too late😬👉👈

-«Remind me why you guys still need to wait for solstice to do the deed.» Because they have like three brain cells combined, June

-Alriiiiiiight Ruhn, we’re off to a good start😀

-I don’t like this Cormac dude😑

-We finally know the Autumn King’s name!!! And while it might sound exotic, it’s also hilarious, as it is the Norwegian equavilent of like Richard or something💀

-I hate this Cormac dude🤢

-SYRINX😍✨😁🤩 i missed you my boy🥰😍💛😩

-Hypaxia?! The HIND?! Tea has been spilled☕️

-Hunt and Syrinx is my favourite duo:) They remind me of a dad and the pet he absolutely didn’t want to get:):)

-Not me forgetting about Lehabah😭🤚

-Of course Danika had something to do with this😩

-While I am desperate for Bryce and Hunt to just get over it and fuck already, I love seeing them so domestic🥰

-BRYCE NOW’S NOT THE TIME TO THINK OF YOUR MY LITTLE PONY COLLECTION

-The Hind is making me feel things. Weird things.

-If evil why sexy?😩

-Hunt is such a bro i love him

-Yay sleepover💅🏻

-Omg Adidas is back👟

-👁👄👁

-The woman was too stunned to speak

-Now I understand why everyone freaked out over chapter 15:)

-Bryce, basically: He might be an alphahole, but he’s *my* alphahole🥰🌸

-Sarah, I’m giving you a big goldstar for really improving your diversity👏 Like Bryce thinking it was wrong to assume Hunt’s sexuality? Who even are you??

-Damn Bryce👀🥵

-🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆

-Ithan, please, kindly FUCK OFF

-I’m calling it now, the Star-Eater is Hunt’s father

-Oh no he’s licking feet again🦶

-THEY’RE MATES🥰😍😩✨🌸💛😌

-Hi Under-King🥰🌸

-👁👄👁

-Bye Under-King🏃‍♀️💨

-I know I should be worried that the Hind is here but SHE DOES WEIRD THINGS TO ME OKAY

-He’s Danika’s WHAT? Once more, the woman was too stunned to speak-

-That was a fucking jumpscare

-Go Sabine tho👌👈

-THE HIND🥵👅😏👄

-Bryce I love your sense of humor😭💀🍆

-Baxian just wants fwiends🥺👉👈

-Jk he’ll probably betray them…

-Celestina wtf?!😠

-THANOS?!?! What in the MCU

-Omg I feel so sad for Baxian🥺🥺🥺🥺 I can’t handle it if he ends up being evil

-Awwwwwwww they’re basically playing fifa together😍🥺 Just two bros, broing🤜🤛

-📞🍆🍑💦😏😩🥵👅👀

-This agent Daybright….I am onto something😑 I don’t know what, but it’s definitely something…

-There’s something hot about Hunt getting all psychotic whenever Bryce is in danger🔥😩

-FINALLY👌👈🍑🍆💦😩🥵👅✨🔥

-BAXIAN I LOVE YOU SO MUCH PLEAAAAAAASE DON’T TURN OUT TO BE A DICK

-fwiends?🥺👉👈😔🥰🌸

-Ahahahahhahahahah Flynn is hilarious

-Just three boys trying not to get yelled at by their dad😌

-Is now a good moment to admit that I’m also weirdly attracted to the Viper Queen?😩

-She got him a family😭🥺

-Though I feel like this is a kinda bad idea that’s gonna end with me crying because someone just tragically died

-THE SMUT😩😩😩😩😩😩

-If I ever see the Autumn King I’m gonna 🤜🧍‍♂️🕳

-The guys basically adopting Ithan🥺😭

-Omg roomies🤜🤛

-THE HARPY?!?! She’s not even the sexy kind of evil, just evil evil😳

-Oh nevermind I just had a mild heart attack

-Wait, wait, wait, wait

-THE HIND?!?😩🥵💦

-I’m probably an idiot for thinking it’s her but Sarah always makes them hot for a reason🧐

-CELESTINA AND HYPAXIA?!

-I am shooketh-

-SARAH I DIDN’T EXPECT THIS🏳️‍🌈💛🧎‍♀️

-Tharion, even I can tell this is a bad idea

-If Day really is The Hind-

-My girl deserves better🥺

-NOT THE FEET🦶💀🤚

-You deny it, Hunt, but I know you🧐

-UMMMMMMMM

-😩🥵💦

-I still think Apollion is Hunt’s father🧐

-Bryce is a #girlboss

-BAXIAN😭🥺😩💛✨🌸🔥😍

-I knew I could trust you🥰 (I think, I still have 100 pages left)

-Him and Danika?!💔😭

-This book keeps shocking me and I👏am👏here👏for👏it👏

-I feel so bad for Bryce tho🥺

-Oh, this is a bad idea…

-Not the only Fendyr heir?!? My head is gonna explode

-I’m actually glad I got the ending spoiled, because I don’t think I could’ve handled a shock that big after this

-Pierced nipple?? Um, hello🥵

-«I want it real» 😭🤚

-Could Bryce be the seventh Asteri????

-I’m so nervous my heart is racing

-STICK TO THE PLAN YOU IDIOTS

-Not able to form thoughts at the moment

-But fuck the Asteri🖕🖕🖕

-Wait are they talking about illyrians now???

-After this, I’m gonna need a nap

-If I’ll ever be able to sleep again

-THE VILLAIN MONOLOGUE SELF AWARENESS💀😂

-THE DUSK COURT?!?!

-And are we also talking about Throne of Glass fae now?!?

-If so, Bryce, can you just please take a detour to Erilea to check in on manorian on your way back?🥺👉👈

-I don’t know why I get so surprised when everything goes to hell by the end of each book…

-Rip Cormac😔

-THE HIND👏😩😭😍🥰✨

-I FUCKING LOVE YOU

-also….i knew it

-They’re👏always👏sexy👏for👏a👏reason👏

-FOR THE LAST TIME?😭

-«His enemy was his lover.» THAT’S THE BEST KIND BABY

-Rigelus you little bitch

-Celestina I ROOTED FOR YOU

-😭✌️

-I’ll read a whole book of Hunt describing Bryce’s feet if you let them live Sarah, I swear😭🦶

-I’m actually crying😭😭😭😭 I JUST WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY AND NOW HUNT’S HALO IS BACK AND THEY’RE APART AND AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-Nevermind we’re in Prythian now🥰🌸

-Jk I’m in so much emotional pain😀

-DADDY AZ😩

-Az….how kinky🥵

-The gang’s all here😌💃🏼

-Ahahahhahaha Nesta yelling at Cassian is so iconic

-RHYS LOOKS LIKE RUHN?

-Once more, the woman was too stunned to speak👁👄👁

-I’m gonna need 5-10 business days to process this

-But Sarah, you have DONE IT AGAIN YOU FUCKING LEGEND

#sarah j maas #hosab #hosab spoilers #crescent city #crescent city spoilers

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darthmaulification · 3 years

Note

Your stories are so detailed! I love them! ❤️ May I request Darth Maul x pregnant reader smut, where Maul can't resist pregnant reader? or something exploring Maul's breeding kink trying to get them pregnant? 👉👈 that'd be so hot 🔥💦

A/N: ... this has been sitting in my drafts for like... two months. oopsie. took a while on this one. 😶 but, y’know, life happens. 🙏😔

anywho, this is the dirtiest, nastiest, most extensive smut i’ve ever written, like good GOD, what have i written??? 😳 i blame you, anon, your thot was too damn SCANDALOUS. 🥵😈 had me BLUSHING writing my own darn tootin’ fic!!! 😳😖🥴😩💦💦

also, i kinda subscribe to the fanon (?) that dathomirian zabrak give their son’s names that mean violent, aggressive things (hence maul, savage, feral) so that’s why maul’s and reader’s son has the name he has, despite the fact he’s a literal sweetheart.

i hope y’all EAT with this one! PLEASE enjoy! 💗

content: DISGUSTANG smut, unprotected p in v sex, fingering (f receiving), pregnant sex, afab!fem!reader, established relationship (married 🥺), very domestic at the beginning, reader and maul have a son!!, pregnant!reader, reader is implied to be curvier too, maul’s my breeding kink really shows here, his pregnancy kink too lmao, also some goddess play? (is that a thing lol?), maul is also very service top in this, this fic is nothing but love in all forms it comes in

word count: 4,136 (jesus christ)

If someone had told you when you were younger and immature, that you’d be chasing a naked toddler around your home, you would have laughed at the absurdity. But here you are, finally gaining on your smiling, giggling like a madman three-year-old son, a tiny little boy whose way too fast for his age, and with far too much of his father’s influence in him. Not to mention he’s dripping wet, covered sporadically head to toe in bubbles, and, again, naked as the day he was born.

“Get over here, strawberry!” You attempt to coax the russet-skinned toddler back to you, clutching a fluffy towel in your hands. Of course, the sight of the towel only riles him up even more— because Ravage had determined very early on that bath time also means playtime— so he shoots off in the opposite direction, as quick as he can on his short, chubby legs, which is surprisingly fast. You groan, throwing your head back in mild exasperation.

It doesn’t help in the slightest that you’re currently seven months pregnant, and the extra weight of your second does not aid in making you a fast runner. Quite the opposite, actually.

“Maker, this child.” You sigh, shaking your head and setting up chase Ravage again, but before you go after the screaming, laughing toddler, Maul chooses that exact, perfect moment to return home, in all his shirtless glory. The opening of the door makes Ravage skid to a halt, almost tipping over, and when he sees his father in the doorway, his gummy smile positively beams and brightens his whole face.

“Dada!” He shrieks, careening towards Maul who grins and swoops Ravage into his arms when he reaches him. Ravage squeals, little hands immediately finding Maul’s face before he presses his little forehead against Maul’s chin. He goes almost silent, soft coos leaving his lips. Your husband hums, nuzzling the top of your son’s head gently in return, one of his hands rubbing Ravage’s back. The sight never ceases to make your heart swell with joy, how Maul so deeply adores your child and how Ravage gives it back.

“Did he escape the bath again?” Maul asks after a brief moment of quiet, walking fully into the house and closing the door behind him. The motion, for some reason, kicks Ravage into gear again and he starts babbling away, sticking one of his tiny fists into his mouth while also trying to “talk”. Maul strides over to you, taking in your disheveled, flushed appearance.

“Not quite.” You snort a laugh and shake your head, eyes rolling as the accursed memory of The Bath Incident briefly crosses your mind. Maul grins and passes over Ravage, who’s still speaking gibberish, but has calmed down enough to allow you to wrap him up in the towel. You adjust him in your arms, situating him above your baby bump, smiling warmly when he rests his head against the crook of your neck.

“He had the decency to bolt after I had pulled him out of the tub.” You reply, placing a soft kiss on the smooth crown of his head, and Ravage sighs happily when you do. You rub the little nubs on his head, where his horns are still only cartilage beneath the skin, in the way that makes him sleepy.

“How considerate of him.” Maul replies, smoothing a hand over Ravage’s head before his eyes drop downwards and he grins boyishly. He places a gentle yet firm hand on the swell of your belly, rubbing over your dress. Something in his eyes changes, in his whole demeanor for that matter, like a primal part of him rears it’s head. Like a fire that has gasoline thrown on it, flaring in intensity and heat.

You’ve seen it happen many times before during this pregnancy and your previous, and know exactly what very pleasurable end it leads to. It’s no secret to you of how Maul feels when you’re with child. A shiver goes down your spine, straight to your core.

“And what of this one, my love?” He asks, his voice just a tad huskier, leaning in to brush his lips against yours. It’s purposely slow and meant to be inviting, which you pick up instantly. Your lips curl up into a small grin in the kiss, and you part to see a mischievous look on Maul’s face. His pupils are dilated, not a whole lot, but enough that it’s noticeable.

“Oh, he’s been just fine. Active, as usual.” You murmur, letting Maul place a heavy, more heated kiss on your lips almost before you’ve even finished your sentence. You sigh into his mouth, happily letting your beloved husband to lay claim via the frenzied tongue. He shifts closer against you, which Ravage objects to with an indignant cry, and Maul parts from you.

“No kissing!” Ravage smacks a tiny palm on his father’s face, his face all furrowed with that anger that a toddler thinks they’re supposed to feel. Maul growls playfully and bites (very gently, of course) Ravage’s hand, which causes the baby to shriek with laughter. You pull away from Maul, rolling your eyes good-naturedly.

“Okay, okay, no getting him too riled up. Besides...” You send a glance over your shoulder, a coquettish smile on your lips.

“We need him to sleep. We’ve got a long night ahead of us.” You wink and turn quickly enough so that Maul doesn’t have time to quip a reply, but slow enough that you see his eyes flash with lust. Almost giggling, you hastily make your way to Ravage’s bedroom to get him ready for bed and out of the way for the rest of the night.

Despite bath time being a special sort of chaos a majority of the time, Ravage is far more willing to go to sleep easily. You peck his forehead, then pepper his tiny horn nubs all over in kisses, and then nuzzle his scarlet cheeks. Ravage is half-asleep, but awake enough to rub his eyes and smile up at you. He purrs lightly, hands gripping your forearm.

“Good night, baby boy.” You coo softly, cupping his face with your hand, fingers tracing the swooping black tattoo on his crown. Of course, Ravage is not actually tattooed, he is far too young and his skin is much too sensitive. Instead, Ravage is decorated like his father by a highly pigmented dye that stains the skin until he’s old enough to get inked. You kiss him one last time, on his chin, where the stain nearest his lips is beginning to fade.

“I love you so much, my sweet.” You murmur, pulling away from your baby which is always hard, but feels like it’s so much harder with all the pregnancy hormones that you’re dealing with. Placing a hand on your belly, you carefully rise so that you don’t disturb Ravage who’s practically asleep. You’ve never been much of a nervous person, but you keep your eye on him the entire time you walk to the door, and then some. Maul waits for you, having observed the whole time.

“He’ll be there in the morning, my dear.” Maul’s low voice is teasing, but it’s also laced with a genuine comfort. You feel the need to bite your lip, apprehensive about tearing your eyes from Ravage, but Maul’s hands pulling you against him breaks the spell. You wrap your arms around him, relishing in the warmth that emits from him in waves. If motherhood had made you one thing, it was being overly wary.

“He’s so perfect... How is he three years old already?” You ask quietly, resting your head against Maul’s bare shoulder. Your eyes glance over to your son, who’s sleeping so peacefully and quietly you want the moment to last forever. He looks so warm and safe and happy... Words cannot describe how satisfying motherhood feels. It feels like Ravage was still a newborn yesterday.

“I wonder that myself...” Maul starts, “Though, my dear, you’ll have another baby in your arms soon enough.”

You giggle softly, letting Maul pull you in close to him, as far as you still can that is. He reaches past you to pull the bedroom door shut as his face leans in, lips locking with yours to kiss you fervently, deeply. You moan softly into his mouth as his warm, moving tongue claims you, and you wrap your arms around his neck. You kiss for a few moments longer before Maul pulls back, leaving you catching your breath.

“Have I told you how stunning you look?” He asks, voice lilting with a curious sort of brazenness, playfully searching for an answer. You hum, eyes heavy lidded, tracing with a single finger the sloping tattoo on Maul’s collar bone. He meets your gaze, molten gold eyes just as hazy as yours.

“Yes... though I may need to hear it again.” You murmur, brushing your lips against the softer skin of his cheek, practically purring with delight when Maul’s hand slips, and he grabs your ass. You giggle breathily when he squeezes, smiling still when his mouth is on yours again.

“You glow, my beautiful wife, especially when there is a babe ripe in your womb.” Maul almost hisses those last words, and you whimper when the feeling of his growing erection pokes against your thigh. The wetness between your legs seems to grow tenfold, you feel drenched with liquid warm slick. Maul kisses you again, his other hand going to palm the swell of your belly, and you tremble at the vibration his groan sends into your mouth.

“Fuck, if only I could keep you like this.” He growls lowly, hand cupping your belly, and he’s emboldened by his own words, kissing you forcefully. You whimper, hands gripping him as he rocks his body into yours, grinding you lightly against the closed door behind you.

“T-To the bedroom, please.” You sigh desperately, clinging to your husband, and he chuckles lowly, eagerly, and he secures his arm around your waist to pull you in the direction of your shared room. He keeps kissing you along the way, making your knees almost give out on you with each heated, passionate one. By the time the door’s been opened, you’re quivering so intensely with need that Maul takes it upon himself to lift you into his arms and walk you to the bed.

Thankful for his strength, you sigh happily when he places you down on the soft mattress, the relief in your lower back and feet almost as intoxicating as the arousal the bubbles inside you. Maul keeps himself at the end of the bed, where he watches you like a vulture, watches as you scoot back against the mountain of pillows that you have accumulated over the duration of your pregnancies.

“Please, my love, give me a show.” He speaks, eyes dilating further until his golden yellow hues are nearly eclipsed by the inky blacks of his pupils. Your face burns with a slightly embarrassed blush, because it sometimes still evades you as to why Maul is seemingly so captivated by your pregnant form, but you’re so needy and hot, that your dress simply needs to come off.

“Okay. For you.” You whisper, eyes not leaving Maul as you reach up to unclasp the button at the top of your dress, then the one below it, and the one after that. Maul watches as your cleavage becomes more and more revealed, then as your breasts simple spill from the confines of your bodice, too heavy for the loosening fabric. Then he watches as you reach around to your back to untie the ribbon that holds your skirt, watches as the fabric slacks on your swollen belly.

You grow more and more aroused as you watch Maul almost drool as you shimmy your hips to pull your dress from your body, moaning softly when his hips suddenly seize when the fabrics fall to reveal your baby bump, your newly outie belly button, and the darkened line below it. With one last shift of your hips, and kick of your dress falls from the bed, and leaves you bare to your bristling husband.

“You look like the Winged Goddess herself.” Maul finally growls, taking in the entire sight of you, flushed and sweaty and pregnant, sprawl like a queen on her throne of pillows. The compliment sends a shiver down your spine and you whimper from arousal. It wasn’t often, being this heavily pregnant, that you felt sexy, so irresistible. But from the way Maul’s honey gaze burns across your body, how he studies your swollen belly and heavy breasts with nothing but adoration and lust, you can only think this is what it feels like to be worshipped.

Maul doesn’t only tell you he thinks you look like a goddess, he makes you one.

And Maker, Maul is horny. He’s staring at you intensely, like a wild animal about to pounce yet contained by straining patience. His hips rut the air, like his cock is searching for the hot, wet, holy place you have to offer for it’s sanctuary. Maul’s shoulders rise with the steady heaves of his chest, nostrils flaring with each exhale. Rarely does he have this type of patience, but tonight you are his temple, and he’ll treat you with reverence.

“Come, then. Give your goddess tribute.” You coo, voice a tad shaky from need, spreading your meaty thighs deliciously wide as you open your arms to him. No sooner does the invitation leave your lips as Maul leaps onto the bed, stalking up to you on all fours, looking like a hungry wolf. His golden eyes drop from your face to your dripping, swollen pink pussy, and something absolutely ragged flashes in them.

“My Goddess, I am going to ravish you.” And Maul’s lips are on yours in a deeply passionate kiss that steals away all of you in it. His tongue pushes past your lips and he tastes like heaven, and you moan, eyes closing. Maul hastens the kiss almost frantically, sucking at your mouth like he’s drinking a nectar. All of your moans and gasps are swallowed by him, and Maul pulls more and more from you. You reach and grab his shoulders, gripping at the thick muscle of his neck, nails biting into his skin.

Maul finally pulls away, breaking the kiss with a loud, wet pop and his absence is agonizing. Panting, his eyes scan your face, soaking up your dazed expression, red cheeks, and raw lips. He grins and leans back in to kiss you again, brief and light this time, before he starts to leave kisses along your jaw, leading down your neck. You sigh happily when Maul sucks mark against your throat, hands roaming his sculpted shoulders and upper back.

“Maul...” You whine his name, one of your feet crossing over his calf, beckoning him closer. Maul allows you to reel him in, arching over you and anchoring himself with his arms. Just barely, feather-light, his toned stomach brushes against the crest of your encarpous middle, a reminder that he’s the one who put the baby there. Maul nuzzles your neck, his chuckling sending small vibrations into the soft skin.

“My love...” Maul murmurs, one hand raising to cup your breast as his lips travel lower, “My Goddess, you are perfection.”

He squeezes your tit, which causes you to cry out from the explosion of pleasure that ensues. Maul knows they’re tender, knows they’re overly sensitive, and he knows all of this as his fingers tweak your darkened nipple, reducing you to panting shrieks. He rolls your weighty breast in his hand and locks his lips around the nipple of the other, swirling his tongue around it. You squeal and arch your back, one hand holding Maul’s head against your chest to urge him to not stop.

“Maul, Maul!” You chant his name, almost weeping when his hand leaves your breast, flattening against your side to knead at the plush flesh of your hip. Maul hums, uses his knee to further spread your thighs, and dips his hand below to tease his finger tips around your soaked pussy. You whimper when he traces your pulsing slit, his knuckles brushing against the sensitive bud that sits at the apex of your womanhood.

“Mm... you are drenched, my Goddess.” He groans, pushing two of his fingers into you which has you tossing your head back, mouth agape. It’s all stars and fireworks, so quickly and easily thanks to your over-sensitivity due to pregnancy, and the way Maul curls his fingers just right has the coil in you tighten. Maul sucks at your nipple, rolls his fingers again inside you, and it only takes the pad of his thumb, which comes to swirl over your clit only once, that has you undone.

“Maul!~” You weep his name, shaking and stiffening all at once as your first orgasm ripples through you like aftershocks of an earthquake. It’s all so sudden that even Maul seems pleasantly surprised, unlatching from your breast to look down between your legs where his crimson hand glistens with your release. He pulls his fingers from you, marveling at the way your cunt clenches, more of your nectar oozing from it.

“A bit premature, hm?” He teases, kissing your breasts and collar as he gives you a few moments to recover from the world-shattering climax. You shake your head, panting, hairs stuck to your forehead by the sheen of sweat that coats your entire body. You feel so hot, overheated, and wanting him— needing his thick, ribbed cock and his heavy balls and all his virile cum within them.

“Please, my love, please.” You beg, hands smoothing over his shoulders, gliding to massage his biceps, pulling him closer. All you want is him, you need him, your pussy aches for him. And Maul delivers, seeing how you’re already half gone, and in one delicious, pleasing thrust of his hips, he sinks his hard cock into your wet heat.

You shriek and he groans loudly, the simultaneous sensations of your clenching, quivering vagina and his spear-like dick jumps the both of you very near your ends. Maul pulls back his hips to snap them forward, going lost in his wild eyes briefly, and repeats the motion, slow but hard. You hardly have the awareness to breathe, so lost as Maul hits the gummy nodes of your cervix with each rock of his hips, the ridges of his cock dragging against the velvety walls of your cunt.

“F-Fa—Faster.” Drool escapes the corner of your lips with the weakly uttered plea you barely manage to convey. He obliges, just as lost as you, and his hips pull back to slam in quickly, repeating over and over, jostling your body with purpose and force. It feels like it knocks the wind from you, and you hold onto Maul like he’s your lifeline, weeping moans against his neck. His head dips against the crook of your shoulder, mindful of his horns, and he pants against your flushed skin.

“Love seeing you pregnant.” Maul grunts, lips worrying a dark mark into your neck that he seals with a small nip. You keen, hips unconsciously tilting more so his cock continues to hit that place just right, that you can take him even deeper. That tender place makes you see stars, the pleasure electrifying you to your bones, making you curl your toes into the sheets. Your pussy clenches, and Maul groans, thrusting with conviction like a bull in rut. The sound of his hips snapping wetly against yours filling the air, each thrust makes your thighs and hips jiggle.

“Wan—ugh, Want to keep you fat with child.” Scarlet and charcoal hands run up the hill of your belly to cup your breasts from below. Maul squeezes them, beckoning beads of milk to form at your nipples, and you cry out, moaning wantonly and uninhibited by now. Your eyes squeeze shut as the coil grows taut in your core once more, tighter and tighter with each snap of his hips. Maul growls out some incomprehensible sentence, snarling into your neck, where he bites again, then kisses and licks.

“S-So beautiful... tits full of milk... c-crowded, stuffed belly.” It’s all choked out in between grunts that get louder and louder until Maul is a mess of heaving groans. Your airy moans clash in the air with his snarling, Maul bites at your neck, your shoulder, lightly gnawing on you like he’s desperate for your taste. He thrusts into you like a jackhammer, bouncing you on his cock and rocking your entire body.

You mind goes blank, and the knot inside you snaps, sending you into the oblivion of a small death that shakes you to your core. It leaves you wide-eyed and moth hanging open, your puffy entrance spilling your wet release all over your inner thighs, the bed, and soaking Maul’s cock that still pulls in and out of you.

The rhythmic rocking of your body could have lulled you asleep, had it not been the soaring pleasure of your orgasm keeping you awake. It fades steadily, allowing the cloud that has blinded your mind dissipate as you regain consciousness, eyelids fluttering as you bask in the tingling of your climax, the wetness between your legs and under your butt, and Maul’s sturdy, warm flesh.

It’s all so much, so perfect, so wonderfully passionate.

He moans when your cunt grips him like a vice as he fucks you through your orgasm, pulling his head from your shoulder to lay wet kisses on your panting lips and tear-streaked face. You hadn’t even realized you’d actually cried from the pleasure until Maul dutifully laps away any remaining tears before he kisses down your neck to lick away the milk that’s leaked from your breasts as well, making you sigh.

His pace slows, hips stuttering once, then twice, and he too finishes with a loud groan, pelvis flush against yours as he spills thick, sticky ropes of cum directly to your womb. The feeling of the spreading warmth pulls you further back to reality, grounding you with it’s primal, natural familiarity. You hum, rubbing Maul’s tense back with your hands as he stays locked to you for a good thirty seconds, just letting him spill everything he has into you.

Near the end, he says your name like a desperate prayer, all choked, all wretched from his throat. And he says it again once his cock’s finished, the last few spurts of cum leaving him, and this time it is said with nothing but satisfaction, content, and love. He kisses your breasts a few more times, his hands rubbing your hips, before he lifts his eyes to meet yours.

“I love you.” Maul says, his eyes as bright and as serious as the sun, and you smile broadly, if not a bit loopy and sleepy too. You cup his cheek, thumb resting on the curved line of the tattoo on his cheekbone. One of Maul’s hands go to tuck your sweaty hair behind your ear, the other plants itself firmly beside you so that Maul can anchor himself above you. His softening cock rests nestled inside you, he arches over you like a protective ceiling of red and black loving flesh and blood, and he kisses you like your the personification of all that is good and holy.

“I love you.” He says again, and it makes your heart sing. The air around you and Maul buzzes with the dewy afterglow of sex, feeling as though it lights your dimly lit bedroom a brighter, gentle orange. Maul sighs deeply into the kiss and pulls out from you, and you sigh when you feel his release steadily seep from you like glistening honey off the comb. He still kisses you as he moves from atop you to your side, haphazardly grabbing a blanket to pull over you both.

As you both kiss and situate yourselves into bed, spent and exhausted, you don’t mind that tonight he doesn’t leave to get cloth to clean you up, or that you’re falling asleep sticky and wet, and that tomorrow you’ll have to clean the sheets and probably the mattress too. No, tonight you only think of Maul, soak in all of the love and adoration you feel come from him, and reciprocate it when he pulls you to him, spooning you from behind, wrapped securely by his strong arms.

“I love you, too.” You whisper to Maul in the darkness, eyes closed, your fingers searching to lace with his, both of your hands then resting atop the baby that grows inside you. He hums, kisses the back of your neck, and you fall asleep feeling happy, tranquil, and loved.

#star wars #star wars darth maul #darth maul x reader #maul x reader #darth maul #maul #anon #anon ask #request #this is how i choose to give back to society

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thirstybtsthoughts · 3 years

Note

So here's the thing. Jungkook in the most recent black swan performance outfit got me thinking.. I am VERY big fan of hate sex. I mean just imagine him and you started out on the wrong foot, and some mean, teasing comments and sabotages/intentional embarrassment later you end up in a fight at his apartment. Him still in that outfit, and you in a sexy black dress because Jungkook managed to sabotage your blind date.. and you two yell at eachother, stepping closer and closer, until both of you practically scream 'I hate you' at eachother.. and then he roughly grabs you by the back of your head and crashes your lips together. You pull hard on those chains he's wearing, and he winces, but that only turns you both on more. And just imagine the glorious punding that would follow 😫💦🔥🥵.. Him moaning the word 'noona', and as the fucking goes on, more and more (because since that "fic" I submitted I can't stop thinking about how hot that would be.🥵😫)

I only had hate sex twice and that shit turns me on like nothing else I'm telling you, it's the BEST 🔥

And for some reason Namjoon and Yoongi also give me those vibes, I think either of them would get into a position like that. Especially Namjoon. Like that man seems so zen, just imagine what would happen if someone actually got under his skin like that uggghhhh 💦🔥🥵

Okay I'll stop now... byeeee

- HGA ⚡

😱 I FUCKING MOANED READING THIS AJAHSHSHS. Hate sex with JK would be SO hot, I’m getting so worked up at just the thought of it 😰🥵. I’d be screaming his name in pleasure or pain idc. He can throw me about and slam me against a wall as hard as he wants, I’d be too high on his undoubtedly spectacular stroke game that I wouldn’t even care about anything else 🥵🥵. What have you done to meeeeee HGA⚡️ 😩😩

Don’t even get me started on hate sex with Joon or Yoongi (or Hobi omg 😳), because that would be some next level kinda wreckage 💀💀

#asks #anon #bts #jungkook thirst #HGA ⚡️

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im-frickin-trying-okay · 3 years

Text

Copypastas or spam or whatever these are called

P-pwuyt ur hea,d on N my,:; sshwouUlderr.... h *sobs* hwold me í,n u-ur a;,rm Ss BWABBY...;

🔊Toruu💞Oikawa's🤰🏻favorite🤩food🍱is😋milk🥛bread🍞and😌his🧍🏻personal😛motto💁🏻‍♀️ is😊if🤷🏻‍♀️you're🤗gonna😁hit👊🏼it🤭hit😛it😗till😏it💖breaks💘

⚠️💥 BAKUGO KATUKI IS COMING 💥⚠️JOIN US ALL AND GIVE YOUR SOUL TO BAKUGO BEFORE ITS TOO LATE💥⚠️BAKUGO IS WATCHING YOU ALL⚠️💥🐶

Bakugo 💥they’re 😕just 😒kids 👼huh 😡⁉️well 😤that’s 😌how 🤨I 😯was raised 🤡and 🙄look 👀I 🥴turned 🤗out 🙂awesome 😌✨

Chicken 🐔wing🍗chicken 🐔 wing🍗hot 🥵 dog 🐶 and 🍫 bologna 🙈 chicken 🐔 and 👁️ macaroni 🦀 chillin 🥶 with 😏 my 🙋‍♂️ homies 😎

🎤SãWãrAśęnaNàī🥰KìMí 😺Wã⛓️šHöūJô👻 Nâ 💅 ñÖ?✨böKú🌸 Wã🧚ÿARiçHiñ🤴BįCChī😾ńO😩oSû🚣Dà🎉YO💦

and⚡️i’m!!not💞gonna👀let🧸anyone🥇get🖐in🦖my🍄way😁*trips*ima😀failure🥲

cause😉i’m🏐 the⚡️star⭐️, geez🙄shouldn’t😐that😠be😗obvious🥰by✨now🤪

Have 𓆏 some 𓆏 frogs 𓆏 because 𓆏 this 𓆏 is 𓆏 important 𓆏

my 😁name😒is not🙄 5🖐wennis🌭i👻am💅🏽shoto🥵from👁👄👁UA🥶and😳i😈wanna😺be🤚a❤HERO🤭

I ✂️aint ❌ never 👄 seen 📆 shoto 🛡without 📊 a 😡 scar 🫖 he 👦🏻 always 👁 gotta☝️have ❤️one 🧊 eye 👁 boiled 🔥

I😎haven’t🥸a🤖clue🧩whats🤡going🗣on👾here🥷but👄I’ll✨act😃like🥳i😇do🍥

Did you know 💕😜bungee🍬gum🤩🤪has🥵the💯📏properties🏫🍭of😻both✌rubber⭐and💧gum🍬

🤺GET BACK🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺GET BACK I SAY🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺

FORWARD 🚶🏽‍♀️MARCH 🤝 AND HERE ✋ WE👥 GO ✅ MEMBERS 👤👤 OF 😗 THE 🤝 AGENCY 🧑🏼‍💻 BA-KU-GOU 💥 SAI-✨EUGH

Tōru💗Oikawa's💦Favourite✨ Food 🍽️is ✋iwa chan~

no.❌no dating💅until my😜 daughter 25🧍‍♀️

🐴ŃÆ ŃÆ ĶĪĻŁŮÆ🐴ᵏᵒᶜʰᵒ ᵏᵒᶜʰᵒ ᵏᵒᶜʰᵒ ᵏᵒᶜʰᵒ ᵏᵒᶜʰᵒ

Anyway💨you✨break💔it🕳️down🤬we've still😔no❌answers❌not😳yet❗these 👀 devils👹seem🙀 to⭐massacre🔪so✨ ꫀꪖᦓ꠸ꪶꪗ ✨

ꉔꄲꂵꏂ💃ꄲꋊ🕺ꇙꁝꋬꀘꏂ💃ꌦꄲ꒤ꋪ🕺ꃳꄲ꒯ꌦ💃 ꃳꋬꃳꌦ🕺꒯ꄲ💃꓄ꁝꋬ꓄🕺ꉔꄲꋊꍌꋬ,💃ꀘꋊꄲꅐ🕺ꌦꄲ꒤💃ꉔꋬꋊ꓄🕺ꉔꄲꋊ꓄ꋪꄲ꒒💃ꌦꄲ꒤ꋪꇙꏂ꒒ꊰ🕺ꋬꋊꌦ💃꒒ꄲꋊꍌꏂꋪ🕺💃🕺💃🕺

can✨we🎶pretend😭that💜airplanes✈in🔮the💙night💫sky😔are🥺like🌌shooting🌟stars?🌠

IM 😡 NOT 🤬 DONE👿 and 🥴 rainbow 🌈 dash 🏃🏻 was 😲 like 😓 the 🤥 sporty 😚 girl 😜

DONT🤬 YOU💩 DARE👹 DISOBEY ME 😱CORALINE😤 ÆĞ

ITS ABOUT DRIVE ⁉️ITS ABOUT POWER 🥶 WE STAY HUNGRY 👹🍗 WE DEVOUR 😈🗣️💯‼️ PUT IN THE WORK 😈💪 PUT IN THE HOURS 😈💪

Can’t🚫wait⏰to2️⃣Meet🥩you👈so🌊join📈the👉animatronic🐻Family🐻🐥🐰🦊we👐Open⭕️real📚soon

#copypasta #copy paste #idk lol #spam comments #whatever these are #idk at this point #i'm just bored #mha #bnha #haikyuu #attack on titan

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sweet-teeth-mfs · 5 years

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(Sorry that this random) But I have to say this so everyone can hear this but The 7th sense will always be THAT song from Nct. PERIOD. I love Nct dances and songs but nothing can top that. That’s just that.

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I mean, I’m not going to argue hard against you because like, you’re pretty bang on the fucking money here. What’s better than two of the best dancers, two of the best vocalists...& Mark No I Won’t Write Him Lee... doing some of the best hottest choreo to one of the best sexiest songs ever?!? 🔥💦Legit it is so fucking hot sometimes I just THINK about 7th sense and get the shivers! Also Tae looks FIRRRRREEEEEEE in 7th sense 🥵❤️

youtube

Having said that - I feel like Baby Don’t Stop needs a real mention here.

Its funny, @feedmeramyun hadn’t shown me BDS when I first got into NCT because she knew that Taeyong made me feel weird, but when I randomly came across it, watched it and died, I remember saying to her (potentially in a really incredulous tone that she didn’t deserve, “I know you thought I wouldn’t like it (because I’d be weirded out by Tae) but Bee - THE DANCING?!?! WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST TELL ME ABOUT THE GREAT DANCING?!?!?” 😳🧨💥😆

#im lowkey (and not so lowkey) a dance fan #i mean thats my favorite aspect #i can easily tell you my favourite dance moves from every band i follow #i have favourite dance moves from most of my biases #yeah i love music #yeah i love visuals and mvs #but give me DANCING and ill be yours forever #i swear....#hopeless #and people wonder why i love hobi so much #edie's opinion #anon asks #thanks for this anonny!!!#Anonymous

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rosyandraw · 3 years

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WHITE LEATHER PANTS!!!!!!! That's my new name🍦 Hi, how are you? holy shit you blew my mind with this one 🤯🤯🤯🤯 Ancel would look regal in the most slutty sexy way ever but if you are doubting between black or white.... Why not both? Hahaha

I have sooo much to say... but lets start with the easy part 😝 and thank you for your kind and lovely words about my silly instagrams Haha so I'm happy you liked it 💖 I made Auguste's and few post more but I didn't want to look crazy the other day 🙈 but here it is if you would like to see it.

Having say that now I'm like should keeping giving here my Berancel headcanons or should I scream at ger about the new chapter? Well It's not like I have so much to say you left me speechless.... I'm beyond words, actually I'm already calling the ambulance 🚑 because the angst that I feel It's about to come 💀💀💀 wish me luck so I don't die. I can't even gossip with you about how hot and cute they are after what happen. HOLY SHIIT!! DAMEN you better have a reason or I'm taking that big dick off 🔪

And It's not like I can start to talk about Berry and Ancel to chill out because after what you told me about Berenger being "very particular" and that their sex isn't going to be what Ancel and us would expect? Pffff I can't wait. 🥺

My new hc for them are: Of course we know they all came from rich families and I love how you keep them as part of their royal country but that you changed Damen and Auguste so they are not futures kings, it's so original and also probable after so many generations but what if Berenger still is the Lord of Varenne? Like the only one who keeps his canon title.. I can see him telling Parsins that "It's 2021 he doesn't have to call him my Lord anymore and Parsins being like of course my Lord...." Haha okay all of this was because I feel like Berry has this old money vibe but Ancel had only see his ugly clothes so he's completely blind to all that big 'I am a Lord' energy 🤣😂

I think he has like his original family mansion 🏰 in Varenne and he drives an Aston Martin 🇬🇧(all of this beacuse I feel like while in canon Vere is kinda France and Akielos is kinda Greece/Rome, Varenne and Berenger were very British/English.. what do you think?) That's why I give him a classic fancy car but a very "practical" one? Like I imagine he has a car collection but he doesn't drive his Ferraris or a Jaguar to work because that's impractical. And an Aston Martin sound more old money to me than idk an Audi or a Tesla? 🤣 Okay enough about cars.

For Ancel I keep forgeting to ask you if he uses "women" clothes? I totally imagine him thinking clothes has no gender so he's using high heels 👠 boots, dresses 👗 skirts, long painted nails💅 lipsticks💄💋 make up, handbags👜 LINGERIE!! all the time... And of course he likes his hair to be really long, shiny and silky 🚨 I'm gonna get kinky I'm sorry people 🚨 what if he descorvers he has a lil feminization kink ? Maybe sometimes Berenger calls Ancel his beautiful wife, or ask him if his pussy is wet 🙈👀🥵🤭😏😈🔥💦👉🏼👈🏼 Uhuh and I think he watchs the horniest kinkiest anime hahaha but in secret

Ps: NMFY is soooo amazing 💞💞 I'm loving it more and more with every chapter you post.. their dynamic and the plot are so good, fun, sexy and now intriguing... So please write all the fics you want I definetely would be here. All of this without mentioning that I just found out Deliver is also yours and WOW that's one Is one of my fandom favorite 😳 you bet I'm reading it again right now so I can come later to gossip all about it with you 😍😍😍😍😍

TRUE both will probably make an appearance at some point tbh!

I’m good my lovely, hanging out my arse today because I’m too old for mid-week drinking 🙃 How are you? (I got long too so soz for the cut)

No thank YOU for them, honestly, I love them so much and I really appreciate you taking the time to do it, and I LOVE Auguste’s insta… it’s actually perfect!! And the Damen one LMAO so Damen. Thirst trap all day long that boy 😂😂

Haha thanks lovely! I’m glad you liked it? Yeah, ngl there is a bit of angst ahead, I think. LMAO I don’t even blame you, if he doesn’t have a good explanation I think a lot of people will be coming for him so… best starting digging his way out of that hole

Yes! I am quite excited because no lie I didn’t intend for what is happening with Berencel but it just kind of did and now I can’t undo it in my head so that’s how it’s going to be.

I love that so much! But Berenger isn’t a lord, he’s very rich and its old money but he’s not titled because Ancel and Laurent would know him if he was. It’s a very close circle so I don’t think he’s going to have a title. Because that also plays into it later, I promise haha I have a point with it!

Honestly in this particular AU it’s all based on the English gentry because I am English and lazy and also a historian so I just stuck with what I knew and bent what I needed to haha. So yes to the English thing hahaha. Honestly I like Bentley or a Rolls Royce, something that says old old. Berenger is absolutely not cool enough or arsed enough for a Ferrari or Tesla lmao… but Ancel is… if only someone would buy him one 👀👀👀

I LOVE THIS! Yes! Absolutely! Ancel is very androgynous, he uses he/him but he’s very fluid, I’m thinking lingerie, panties, heels for sure, all of his jeans are marketed at women, crop tops until the sun goes down. His wardrobe is a mix for sure! Yes love the feminisation kink 🔥🔥 that’ll have to make an appearance because i have a soft spot for the whole princess thing i WILL NOT LIE (i have a new fic coming and that features quite heavily lmao so if you're into that haha)

THANK YOU SO MUCH 💕. I love our little chats, they honestly make my day and I appreciate you talking Berencel with me! OMG yes that was me haha, might have to do a Christmas sequel to Deliver hahaha

💕💕💕

#as always i love you you are the best #ancel/berenger #nmfy #writing asks

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