#it's gonna be another miracle if i make it to 2024

[cetaceans-pls]

/╲/\╭( ͡°͡° ͜ʖ ͡°͡°)╮/\╱\

feeling insane in the ~membrane~ ( ~*-*)~ so i'm gonna be accepting prompts and what-have-yous for the next 24 hours!

#whale writing #doesnt gotta be a prompt #if u have a real good recipe for spiced hot cocoa let me KNOW #bc on my own i'm up to about 5 different spices and i know i'm not yet at peak performance #i think it is in many ways a miracle that i've made it to december #it's gonna be another miracle if i make it to 2024 #what a lifetime this year has been #full disclosure in the absence of external suggestions i #likely will just write increasingly embarrassing brujay.... hell #might do that regardless..... at least brujay are having a good time!!! #call your reps and demand a ceasefire today!!

[sinofwriting]

Judo Tracks - Ollie Bearman

Words: 4,535 Summary: What happens when an Formula 2 (cough and now technically kind of an F1) driver and an Olympic gold medalist Judoka start dating? Note(s): Thank you so much to V on Kofi for commissioning this! I had so much fun writing it (and I got to do so much research and take so many notes for). Reader does Judo. Uta Abe is the inspiration for reader and I’ve used her amazing achievements as readers as well. Also, mentions of blood, injuries, pain. I also completely changed the 2024 F1 season because of Ollie being called up for Saudi Arabia (I literally could not help myself). Fun fact: Ollie Bearman with just his rookie F2 season in 2023 has just over triple the amount of points needed for a super license (aka the license for F1).

Taglist | Masterlist | Emergency Dental Fund

She takes a deep breath, eyes closed as she lets the feeling of the sun hit her skin, pouring into her as she stretches out on the grass. Her thighs and calves are burning, her big toe has split open again, Jain will have her head for it. Her arms are loose by her side, wrist aching as she rotates them. Letting out the breath, her eyes open.

The brick in front of her is rugged, chipped, and would be considered peeling if it was painted instead. It’s like cinder. The cinder at the first gym she went to, not old but worn down and chipped at from overuse and abuse. She still has a piece of the first cinder block she broke skin on, blood speckling a small corner of it. Another piece from the first one she broke. Her hand throbs at the memory and she flexes it.

Her eyes flicker to her hands. Calluses and scars decorate them. Dents and bumps, spots dark and light. Clenching them, she watches as the skin stretches over bone, more scars seeming to pop out, becoming angrier. It’s a miracle, she supposes that the skin of her hands is still soft.

“You didn’t take your phone.” She doesn’t flinch at the sudden sound of a voice or the body that plops down next to her in the grass. “I needed to breathe.” They huff out a laugh. “Kid. No one is going to tell you not to breathe. We’d actually prefer it.” They nudge her shoulder lightly, teasing, but she doesn’t return it, can’t. Her eyes are still glued to her hands, to the skin she can see, the bones underneath them. They sigh and it feels like a punch to the gut. “What’s going on?” “I fucked up.” Tears are stinging her eyes and it makes her dig her nails into palms, body starting to shake. “I had one chance and I fucking blew it. This is my thing.” She shakes her head. “This is the one thing I have, the one thing I’m good at and I blew my chance.” “You didn’t blow your chance. Ridgle did a dirty move, you got injured. It happens. You’ll recover, you are recovering. You won’t make it this year, but next year? You’re gonna win, kid.” She looks at Jain, tears in her eyes that she still won’t let fall, a quiver to her lip, and her voice so small and high at just fourteen. “Really?” “Really, kid.” Jain smiles, patting her on the shoulder. It makes her nod and she forces herself to take a few breaths, forces the tears away, and then she looks away sheepishly at her feet, at her left foot. “I might’ve split open my big toe again.” Jain lets out a groan, “Dammit kid. Didn’t I just fix that up for you?”

—

She doesn’t want to be here. She knows that, Jain knows that, her parents know it, Amy knows it and she’s sure that the poor driver who was forced to drive her here knows it as well.

Hunkering down in a corner, she drains the glass of whiskey she managed to snag from the bar. The taste makes her nose wrinkle, and the sound of a chuckle makes her tense.

“Strong?” She turns her head, eyebrows furrowed for all of a second before they loosen from her eyes widening. The guy was cute. A little boyish, but she was constantly surrounded by guys that weren’t. It was a lot of weird large muscles, clear scars and repeatedly broken noses, baby fat gone as soon as their balls dropped. Not that she notices any baby fat as she looks closer at his face. “No.” She finally says. “Really weak, watered down, probably.” He huffs out of a laugh. “Wouldn’t think that they’d served watered down drinks, but who knows how they want to save their money.” “If they wanted to save their money, they wouldn’t throw this event.” She scowls. He nods, smile a touch sympathetic now. “Not a fan.” “Not in my job description.” She corrects. “It is a bit ridiculous, isn’t it?” She nods fast. “Yes! So ridiculous.”

He smiles at her, extending a hand. “My names Ollie.” “Y/N.” She tells him, shaking his hand. He repeats her name to himself after letting go of her hand. “Want to ditch with me?” She looks at the rest of the large room, eyes lingering on the bar, but she wouldn’t need that if she left. “Absolutely.”

—

“So,” she asks two hours after they’ve left, a shared meal between them. “What sport?” He looks at her amused. “Guess.” Her eyes narrow at him, and she tugs the fries away from him a bit. Cheekiness didn’t get you fries as far as she was concerned. Her fingers lightly tap against the table as she lets her eyes drink his form in.

He was lithe, no heavy, thick, full muscles. But he was muscled, a little bit like a swimmer or a runner, all hidden strength. His build alone ruled out MMA, boxing, and sports like it. Also, the perfect unbroken nose was a dead give away. Maybe football, but he was a little awkward in certain movements that didn’t line up with the few footy players she had been around. He was tall too, which made things even more interesting.

She wondered if somehow he made it into basketball or baseball, primarily American sports, and they had their international players, but she had never heard of a British one.

Her eyes linger on his neck, the muscle was weirdly developed. “You aren’t one of those guys who do the slap competitions, are you?” He laughs, shaking his head. “No.” She hums, “I’ve got no idea. Is it something weird? Something I’ve never heard of?” “Padel. Junior champion.” He tells her with a smile. Her eyes immediately dropped to his hands. “Bullshit.” He laughs again. “Not padel. I’m an F2 driver.” “Ah.” She nods, leaning back in her seat. “That explains the neck.”

—

“Ollie!” She looks behind her at the sound of Jain’s voice. Just barely catching a glimpse of Ollie before she has to straighten back out, she only had a few more minutes of her run to do then her cooldown, she could wait. “Hi, Jain. How are you doing?” “I’m doing good.” They smile at the kid. “She’s keeping me busy of course. How are you, though? Nervous for your next race?” “A little bit. I feel like I haven’t done enough y’know? Hopefully Baku will be better for me.” Jain shakes his head. “You're doing great for a rookie Ollie. I know this one,” they tilt their head towards her. “Is excited to be going with you. Hasn’t shut up about it.” They tease. “I can hear you, Jain.” She says, taking a drink of water as she slows the treadmill down a bit. “And I will kick your ass again.” Ollie stifles a laugh as he watches Jain roll their eyes at the threat, though he doesn’t miss the way her trainer pats at their ribs.

He watches her finish out her workout, trying not to let his eyes linger too much on her, but knows he doesn’t succeed by the way Jain snorts and how she seems to purposely draw out a few stretches.

Reaching into a fridge, Jain tosses a drink at her. “Drink that, shower, and get out of the gym. I will see you both when you're back from Baku and do not go to the gym more than Ollie does. This is your rest period. You go when he goes and don’t push, even with a trainer.” “Got it.” She nods, smiling. “Thank you, Jain.” They smile at her. “Of course, kid. Now have fun both of you and I’ll make sure to watch the races Ollie.” “Thanks, Jain.”

The two watch as the trainer goes to the back part of the gym where an office is. When the door shuts she finally looks at Ollie. “Hi.” He grins at her, eyes getting all crinkly. “Hi.” She wants to dart forward to hug him, kiss him, but she’s all too aware of the sweat covering every inch of her body. Twisting the cap off the drink, she quickly chugs it, not really wanting to taste what’s arguably the worst flavor of all the drinks that Jain makes her drink. Tossing the container in the bin, she gives him a sorry smile. “Let me shower and then we can,” she gestures between their bodies. “Darling,” blood instantly rushes to her cheeks. “I don’t need to wait for you to shower.” And before she can protest, his hands are framing her face and his lips are against hers.

Her eyes instantly flutter close at the contact, sighing into the kiss as her own hands come up to rest just below his wrists. Keeping his hands there despite what she had just said. She doesn’t know how long they stay like that, just soft presses of their lips, but she pulls away when he gives a small lick to her bottom lip.

“Trust me, Ollie, you don’t want that until after I brush my teeth.” The taste of the drink still lingered a bit on her tongue despite how quickly she had downed it. His lips form a pout, but he nods. “Alright. Be quick though? I’ve missed you.” She presses another kiss to his lips. “I’ll be quick.”

—

Ollie crosses the finish line and the whole garage goes nuts, just like it did yesterday, just like it somewhat did when Ollie managed to get pole with bent steering the day before that one.

There are tears in her eyes as she jumps around and screams with everyone at Prema. All of them start heading over to parc fermé and she goes to stay back, but René is pushing her along, passing her to the lead mechanic on Ollie’s car who puts himself between her and the rest of the people behind him as she’s nearly squished against the bars. It’s a sweet gesture, one that would make her laugh if she wasn’t overwhelmed with pride and happiness for Ollie.

She watches as he parks the car, watches as he gets out, watches as he runs over to throw himself into the arms of the mechanics just beside her. Watches as he tries to touch everyone at Prema, as he tries to talk to them but his helmet muffles his voice. Watches when he’s set back down and he notices her. Watches as he immediately starts wrestling with his helmet, yanking it, the neck part she can never remember the name for, and his baklava before he’s got his free hand on her neck and is drawing her in for a kiss.

—

She smiles at Ollie as she walks into the locker room. There’s a bit of worry in his eyes and she knows it's from how she’s got an arm around her ribs, but he also looks proud. “What’d you think?” “It was amazing. I mean, I had never watched any of this before meeting you, but it was so cool. And that kick you did at the end, it looked so easy!” She huffs out a laugh at his excitement, wincing a little at the pulling it does, but she ignores the pain. Jain wasn’t forcing her to sit down and get looked at yet, which meant she had just enough time to do this: extending her free arm, her fingers clutch at Ollie’s shirt, pulling him forward and down a bit to press their lips together.

“Congrats on winning.” He murmurs against her lips after a moment, the both of them just taking the moment. Blood rushes to her cheeks at the soft murmur. “Thank you for coming.” “Anytime I can, I’ll be here.” He tells her, echoing her words from Baku.

—

Her hands are clasped together, tucked under her chin as she watches the screens, her brows occasionally pressing together as she watches the cars go around. Feeling a small ache in her right foot, she shifts her weight only to gasp out in pain.

“Fuck.” She breathes. The man standing next to her tears his eyes away from the screen, and an arm is quickly wrapped around her waist. “Let’s get you sat down somewhere.” She shakes her head. “No, I’m fine. I just put too much weight on it.” “Y/N,” he warns. “You need to stay off it. At least let someone get you a chair.” “David, I’ll be okay. Continue watching and I’ll find somewhere to sit.” He gives her a look, hearing the lie, but his eyes are quickly drawn to the car pulling into the garage.

She quickly moves away, wincing with every step and she just knows that when Ollie gets out of the car and is done with his press he’s going to be pissed. Jain was going to be pissed as well when Ollie inevitably tells them.

“Stop.” She halts at the sound of Andrea’s voice. Turning around, she gives Charles’ trainer a smile. “Hi Andrea. Will you still be helping Ollie with his cooldown after quali?” He gives her an unamused look. “I know that your knee is hurting. Now, come.” She wants to protest, but he gives her a look and she follows after him.

Entering Charles’ driver room, she easily hops onto the massage bed, folding her skirt up so the shorts she’s wearing underneath are exposed along with her knees.

He hisses as he looks at her left. “You’ve been putting too much weight on it.” “It’s fine, Andrea. I can’t just rest.” “You can when the muscle needs to heal. And it will heal.” Her jaw clenches and her eyes lock onto the clock in the room. “It will.” She gives him that, just like she gave the doctors, Ollie, and Jain. “But will it go back to normal? Not be weakened?” She shrugs. “Who knows? I just know that I got distracted during a match and nearly blew out my knee. So much for another Olympic medal. My career is over.” He scoffs, opening a jar of ointment. “Your career is not over, far from it. There are still months before the Olympics as well. You are young, just nineteen. You heal quicker, you just need to give your body time to rest, to heal. You can’t stand for so long or workout and train as you normally would. It needs time to recover.” She winces as he starts applying the cream. “I can’t though. It’s the Olympics. All I’m supposed to be doing is training and now I can’t. That lack of training could cost me.” “And training now will cost you a knee. It nearly blew out, but didn’t. You continue like this, it will and then your career will be over.”

“You have to take it easy.” He stresses after a few minutes of just silence in the room, finally done with the ointment and gentle massage to it. “I know Jain has told you that. Your doctors, Ollie. And I know that maybe my opinion doesn’t matter much.” She looks at him for the first time since entering the room with a scoff, frowning as tears threaten to fall from her eyes. “Of course it matters.” “Then listen.” He takes her hands in his, grateful that he wiped them with a towel already. “You will recover from this, heal from this, and you will be stronger because of it.” She shakes her head, tears falling and the words that have been building up inside of her since her injury happened come spilling out. “I’m scared, Andrea. This is nothing like my last injury. And I thought my career was over then. This is so much worse and Ollie,” she sobs. “Ollie has so much to worry about, the car wasn’t good last weekend and now he’s in an F1 car, in a Ferrari, I can’t add more to him. I don’t know what to do without Judo. Without the competitions, the training. I’ve been doing this since I was two. I don’t know anything else.” “And you don’t have to worry about knowing anything else. Not for nearly ten years. But think about it like this, while you rest, you think about your future. You think about your five year, ten year plans. You try some new things. You talk to Ollie and Jain. Because I know that you haven’t talked to them either.” She nods, sniffling as she wipes away her tears. “Okay.” She whispers. “Good.” He nods, before wrapping her up in a hug.

“Now, I’m going to get you a chair and you are going to sit in it and watch the rest of quali in it, yes?” “Yes.”

—

“Congrats on your first F1 points, baby.” She murmurs to Ollie hours after the race, finally back at their hotel room after the celebrations that had occurred and the team debriefs. He beams at her. “I still can’t believe it. I mean, I just didn’t want to damage the car, just wanted to bring it home.” She laughs, “well, you more than brought it home.”

Lopping her arms around his neck, she kisses him. “I’m so happy for you.” “I’m really happy too. And I’m happy you could be here, I know that you would have missed it due to training.” She shakes her head, “even if it wasn’t for my knee, I would’ve canceled my training sessions for this, hopped on the first flight. I couldn’t miss this. I didn’t miss any of your FP1 sessions last season. I wouldn’t miss this.” He smiles at her, “I’m just happy that I already cleared it with Prema for Spa, that I can leave immediately after quali. I have to see you win your second Olympic medal.” Her smile flatters a bit at the thought of the Olympics. “I actually wanted to talk to you about that. I wasn’t going to tonight, but do you mind?” He shakes his head and he sits down on the bed, taking her with him. “Of course not. What’s going on?”

Her lips thin and the words that she had managed to say to Andrea feel trapped in her throat. But she forces them out. “I haven’t been okay since my knee got fucked up. And I know you noticed.” It was impossible to not notice the way he’d worriedly look at her. “Just like you noticed that none of the swelling has gone down.” “It really hasn’t.” His hand gently rests on her thigh, squeezing the muscle. “Is something wrong? I mean more wrong?” She shakes her head. “I uh, I got in my head, that I fucked it all up.” She lets out a laugh and she hates that tears are coming to her eyes. Hadn’t she cried enough yesterday about this? “I was pretty sure that I ruined my career and uh,” she struggles with the next part. “I didn’t take it easy like I was supposed to. I’ve still been doing some training and I haven’t been resting like I should. And I didn’t talk to you or Jain about it, like I should’ve. I just spiraled, really quickly.” “Darling, your career isn’t over.” “I know.” She nods, a tear slipping down her cheek. Because she did know after talking with Andrea and talking to her doctors while Ollie did his debriefs and race prep.

“I know that now.” She corrects, wiping at her face. “Andrea talked to me, talked me out of my head.” “Good, because you’ve still got championships and medals to earn. You aren’t done.” “Yeah. I talked with my doctors too, I’m gonna talk to Jain tomorrow and I’m going to listen to them when they tell me what to do. Because I’m not ready for it to be over. But that does mean I’m looking at about four weeks of rest and recovery.” He lets out a whistle, thumb rubbing circles on her fabric cladded thigh. “That’s gonna drive you nuts.” She laughs, “it really will. And I was wondering if I could come with you to races.” His eyes widened, thumb stopping its motions. “What?” “Andrea told me that I should think about my five and ten year plans with this time I’ll have resting. And I already know that you're in those plans. And I know that I can’t do Judo for another ten years, not at this level at least. And if I get another knee injury to my left one, maybe I’ll get five years. And I know you want to be in F1 in ten years, still be in F1.” “I do.” The words are quiet, nearly drowned out by the sound of his heart pounding inside his chest. “I want to be part of this with you, Ollie. Every part. The bad races, the good ones, the ones that make you happy, sad, angry. I want them all and this could be the start of that.”

There’s a lump in his throat that he struggles to swallow around, because this was like one of his dreams. Her wanting that with him, seeing that with him. Wanting F1 for him.

“I want that too.” He tells her. “I want you with me. But not at the cost of your career, never at the cost of it. I know we already talked about it when we got together about having to miss events and maybe championships because of careers, and that still stands. Even after you're done with this level of Judo. That will never change, even if you change careers.” His words are rushed as he makes sure she knows that he doesn’t expect her to completely just become a WAG when she’s finished. She stares at him, his expression earnest, and she doesn’t know what to say, how to say all of that back, so instead she says, “I love you.” His whole face brightens, “I love you too.”

—

“This fucking sucks.” She lets out a laugh, “Ollie, it’s okay.” “You are at the Olympics! The Olympics! And I can’t be there because of debriefing after quali. Fucking Ferrari.” He curses and she can just see him kicking at the ground. “There’s always the next Olympics in 2028. And you can’t miss debrief. Not for Spa.” A shiver runs up her spine at the thought of that track. “I know. It’s just I was supposed to be there, Prema approved it. Was even willing to push it completely to the next day, so I could be there for you. And now I can’t.” Her heart constricts a little, because she had been thrilled when Prema originally gave the go ahead for Ollie to potentially leave debrief early so he could see her at the Olympics. But F1 was a different beast and Ferrari was stricter. They wanted to see her win her second gold medal, wanted to support her, but they couldn’t let their surprise rookie driver miss the debrief to do it. “Fred already said that you guys would pause the debrief to watch it live. Really, you're just lucky that my group is going last, otherwise you’d be paying fines for missing press.” “Be worth it.” He mutters.

It’s silent between them, only the sound of slightly staticky breathing being heard.

“Why did Carlos have to get an infection?” She snorts, hand going up to cover her mouth, nearly dropping her phone from surprise. “What?” “Well, if Carlos had never gotten that stupid infection, he would have been back in the car by Australia or Japan and I’d be able to see you in person.” “Alternatively, you could have not performed so well and then when Canada came around they would have given him the seat, instead of keeping you in it.” He fake gasps. “Are you saying I should have performed badly?” She nods even though he can’t see it. “That’s exactly what I’m saying. But, no you just had to show and prove that you were worthy of the Ferrari seat. What is it now that you have? Four podiums, one sprint win, two sprint podiums, oh and of course your 166 points.” It’s quiet for a moment. “I love you so much.” She giggles. “I keep track.” “So, do I.” he retorts. “you‘ve got,” he starts, but she cuts him off. “No. We are not doing that. We both need to sleep. I’ve got the Olympics and you have quali.” He sighs, “yeah. I’ll be watching when I can. And I’m sorry I won’t see you win.” Blood rushes to her face at his confidence in her. “It’s fine, baby. And I’ll try to watch what I can of FP3 and qualifying. You’re gonna do amazing. I’ll see you Sunday, yeah?” “Of course. I love you.” “I love you too.”

—

“Y/N Y/L/N wins her second Olympic gold medal!” She stands proudly with it around her neck, her country flag wrapped around her as she cries tears of joy, a beaming smile on her face. She can see Jain clapping their hands together so hard it must hurt, and that just makes her smile more.

Her eyes look around the whole venue filled with people, she looks at her fellow gold medalists, the silver and bronze. It was unbelievable just like the first time.

She listens closely as the ceremony comes to a close, and as soon as she can, she darts over to Jain, wrapping them in a hug as she cries in their chest. “We did it!” She cheers. “You did it, kid! Two gold medals!” Jain laughs, squeezing her tight before letting her go and spinning her around. She makes a confused noise, nearly falling over, but she’s caught. Caught by an all too familiar pair of arms.

“Ollie!” She gasps. He beams at her. “You won! I got to see you win!” “But, I mean, I thought,” He laughs, “I lied. Ferrari agreed as long as I did my debrief on the flight here, I just have to pay a fine for missing press.” “Oh my god.” She stares at him for a few more seconds before kissing him, his arms wrapping around her waist in the process and lifting her off her feet.

“I’m so proud of you, Y/N. You were amazing, just amazing.” He whispers, when they break apart for air. She smiles at him, tracing a line down his cheek. “I’m just happy you're here.”

@crashingwavesofeuphoria @gemofthenight @peachiicherries @lpab @hiireadstuff @iloveyou3000morgan @boiohboii @bibliosaurous @skepvids @elliegrey2803

#ollie bearman x reader #ollie bearman imagine #f2 imagine #f2 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #weird to use the f1 tags for ollie in 2024 but i am here for it

[milligramspoison]

Let’s connect the dots, we’re gonna theorize real quick 😵‍💫

Obviously back in August, Frank posted a fortune cookie, which seemingly hinted (or confirmed, however you wanna take Frank’s story as) that something was coming at some point in the future.

Obviously, the last time Frank posted a fortune cookie, which was in February 2022, we got Foundations three months later in May 2022.

The miracle we witnessed was them dropping Foundations a few months after this was posted.

And of course, this isn’t the first time he’s done this either- he hinted at the mini MCR reunion in May 2017 with a fortune cookie, MCR’s first time spotted together since the breakup in 2013.

Now let’s go back to Frank’s August 2023 fortune cookie- what are we waiting for exactly?

Well, there’s a few things, actually- MCR5, LOTMS2 announcement, another tour announcement, Eagles as the next single, etc.

Starting Tuesday night, I and some other MCR blogs got the same exact ask at the same exact time.

We all received this ask asking us if we’re seeing MCR at WWWY in 2024. Of course, as of writing this, the 2024 WWWY lineup has yet to be announced.

We all had received more similar asks asking us pretty much the same thing but worded differently and also gave us some info- I’ll show the ones I got personally that gave us info.

No one had heard anything at this point in time as far as I’m aware! So we were all pretty convinced that we were getting trolled.

Earlier today, a mutual of mine on tiktok came across this screenshot below on twitter.

This seems to be the origins of those asks we received on Tuesday night.

Of course, we knew MCR was gonna tour again, Gerard’s expressed a shit ton of interest for it at various of shows throughout the tour.

And based on the fact Frank remained in LA from late August to early September after the Dunes tour ended and also posted the fortune cookie while he was there, we can assume that they were more than likely in the studio together.

But let’s connect this discord message to Frank’s August 2023 fortune cookie.

“Let’s finish this up now, someone is waiting for you on that.”

That’s what Frank’s fortune cookie said. And like I stated earlier, we’re waiting for MCR5, LOTMS2 announcement, another tour announcement, Eagles as the next single, etc.

The discord message is stating an announcement from MCR could come within the next 2-3 weeks.

While that would dismiss the Friday the 13th theory, as that’s 7 days away as I’m writing this, it makes the Halloween theory more possible.

Halloween is a little over 3 weeks away and is one of the theorized dates of MCR doing something, whether it’s an announcement of some sort or them dropping a single.

Frank, like he’s done in the past with fortune cookies, was telling us something. And if this announcement does happen in the next 2-3 weeks, whether it’s a tour announcement, an announcement of a surprise single like Foundations was, etc, that’s what Frank was possibly telling us through his fortune cookie.

Of course, this is a theory, so this could all be wrong. And we don’t know how true the discord message and the anonymous asks some of us received are, so of course, take this all with a grain of salt.

#i remembered frank’s fortune cookie and connected it with what’s happened this week! #mcr #my chemical romance #my chem #mcr5

[edosianorchids901]

Hug Quota

Ace Omens Hugfest 2024 prompt - "the last hug"

Crowley barely managed two steps before he immediately had to stop again. He sighed, looking down. “Are you serious right now? How many hugs have you had today?”

Daisy the duck, Aziraphale’s favorite, quacked inquisitively.

“No.” Crowley tried to step around her, and she hopped right on top of his boot. “Oh, come on! I’ve gotta go inside, it’s getting dark and Aziraphale’s probably done with dinner by now. He’s gonna worry about me if I don’t show.”

Daisy quacked.

“Gah! Fine. You’re a little monster, you know that?” Crowley bent down and scooped the duck up again. He squeezed her briefly to his chest, then set her down again. “Okay. You’re done. I’ve gotta head in.”

He made it one step closer to the cottage before she got in front of him again. This time, she didn’t stop, though. She waddled around him in circles, quacking insistently.

“You are worse than Aziraphale,” Crowley snapped, crossing his arms. “At least he doesn’t tackle me for a million hugs in a row. He actually respects my personal space.”

Daisy definitely did not respect Crowley’s personal space. She climbed on his boots again, pressing against his shins, and looked up with big needy eyes.

“Don’t give me that! I get enough of that look from Aziraphale.” Sighing, Crowley picked Daisy up, hugged her again, and turned around to put her behind him. “There. Stay.”

Daisy didn’t stay. Crowley had barely even lifted his foot off the ground this time before she was in front of him again, quacking wildly.

“No,” Crowley said, as stern as he could manage. “No more hugs.”

Quack

“You’ve hit your hug quota for the day.”

Quack

Long suffering, Crowley closed his eyes and heaved another sigh. It looked like he had no choice.

“Okay. One more hug,” he snapped, scooping Daisy up. “But this is the last one!”

He hugged her for a little longer this time, swaying slightly from side to side. She tucked her head into his neck, and he smiled even though he was thoroughly done being crowded for the day. He’d never liked being touched too much. But she was just too cute for him to resist her demands, a quality she shared with Aziraphale.

Which made it all the worse when Crowley looked up to see Aziraphale beaming at him out the kitchen window.

“Oh no. Nononono.” Crowley quickly shoved Daisy back to the grass. This time, her hug needs apparently fulfilled, she waddled off to visit her friends. “Angel, don’t you get any ideas!”

He’d shouted loud enough to be heard, and he could see Aziraphale losing himself to laughter. Bastard. Absolute bloody bastard.

Snarling, Crowley stormed to the cottage. He wrenched the door open and found Aziraphale already waiting for him in the entryway. “Gah! How did you get here so fast?”

“Just a teensy little miracle.” Aziraphale’s eyes sparkled with tears of mirth, and he seemed to be on the verge of doubling over with laughter again. Crowley glared at him. “So. For all your grumbling about the ducks being underfoot and bumping into you too often, it turns out that you’re really… what’s that lovely little phrase? A soft touch?”

“Shut up,” Crowley muttered, cheeks hot. “And don’t think that means you can con me into extra hugs. I’m gonna explode if I have to do another hug right now. I already did the last hug of the day.”

“That’s quite all right, dear boy. You can hug me tomorrow.” Aziraphale beamed at him, and Crowley relaxed a little. Aziraphale was a bastard, yes, but he was better at respecting boundaries than ducks were. “Do you feel like holding hands as we go into dinner, though? Just for a minute?”

Aziraphale wiggled his fingers temptingly, eyes big and needy. And luckily, Crowley didn’t find holding hands nearly as overwhelming as hugs.

“Just for a minute,” he warned, taking Aziraphale’s hand in a loose hold, one that didn’t make him too twitchy. “And then I need a break.”

“As you say, my dear.” Aziraphale smiled at him as they went to the dining room. “Besides, later I can entertain myself by admiring the sweet picture I took of you hugging Daisy.”

Crowley gave him a horrified look. “Nonono, you didn’t.”

Aziraphale smiled even more brightly. “I did.”

“You bastard!”

#good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #ducks #art #queerplatonic aziraphale/crowley

[transgamerthoughts]

Abandon All Delusions Of Control

this is another cross-post. which is funny because I've paid for a domain name redirect to my tumblr since like 2016.. i never know what site is gonna explode these days. less people follow me here than anywhere but this write ups been passed around so...

I've been playing Dragon's Dogma 2 and while I'd love to talk about gameplay or interesting moments, the game's found itself something of a cultural lightning rod. It is a game with many friction points arising in a cultural moment where gamers are, perhaps more than ever, convinced that "consumers" are kings.

Dragon's Dogma 2 is not readily "solvable" and you can't min-max it. You will make mistakes. You will be scraped and bruised and scarred. Pain is sometimes the only bridge that can take us wher ewe need to go. And gaming culture, fed the lie of mastery and player importance, does not understand that scars can be beautiful. I love this game. I think it's a miracle it came out at all.

I also think in spite of the success it's found… that 2024 might be the worst possible year for it to have released.

Let's ramble about it..

It's easy to feel like Hideaki Itsuno and his team miscalculated the amount of friction that players are willing to endure and while I don't think that's true (he didn't miscalculate moreso stick to his particular vision) it certainly appears that we've reached a point in gaming where players, glutted on convenience, don't really know what to do when robbed of it. I've heard folks complain that they can't sprint everywhere or else balk learning that ferrystones required for fast travel cost 10,000 gold as if these shatter DD2 into pieces. I'm vaguely sympathetic to these concerns but at the same time they seem to spring entirely from a lack of understanding of the game's design goals. Much like how folks demanding a traditionally structured RPG narrative from an Octopath game misunderstand what that team is trying to do, players asking to sprint through the world or teleport with ease fundamentally misunderstand what Dragon's Dogma wants. The world is not a wrapper for a story. It is the story. Dragon's Dogma is a story factory whose various textures create unprecedented triumphs and memorable failure.

It is crucial to the experience to allow both of those to occur and live with whatever follows.

I'm always cautious of talking like this because it can come off as smug or superior but I think ultimately that's the truth of the matter here. This was not a well-played franchise before now and even if it's a AAA title, there's a way in which this game is meant to elide most AAA open world trends. You are expected to traverse. If you want relatively cheap and faster travel, you're meant to find an oxcart and pay the (quite modest) fee to move between trade hubs much like you would pay for a silt strider in Morrowind. Even if you do this, you could be ambushed on the road and in the worst case the ox pulling the cart can be killed. Something being "possible" in a game doesn't always mean it is intentional but Dragon's Dogma continually undercuts the player's ability to avoid long treks. Portcrystals, which act as fast travel destinations, are limited and ferry stones (while not prohibitively expensive compared to weapons and armor) are juuust expensive enough that you need to consider if the expense is worthwhile. Once is happenstance. Multiple times is a pattern. And the pattern in Dragon's Dogma is to disincentivize easy travel. It screams of intent.

Something I could not have imagined playing games growing up is the ways in which even a decade (or two) could lead to radically different attitudes on what games should provide. That's an audience issue to an extent but it's also something games have brought upon themselves. The "language" of an open world game has been solidified through years climbable towers, mini-map marked caves, and options to zip around worlds. When a game deviates from that language, the change is more noticeable than ever.

Hell, even Elden Ring (perhaps the closest modern relative to Dragon's Dogma) allows you to warp between bonfires and gives you a steed to ride. But that's also a much larger game! DD2 is not a large game and the story is not long. Yes, you can spend untold hours wandering about into nooks and crannies but a trek from one end of the world to another is still significantly shorter than bounding through most open worlds and a run through the critical path reveals a speedy game. Not as speedy as the first but brisk by genre standards.

exploration is the glue that binds the combat and progression system in place. Upgrading armor and weapons requires seeking out specific materials and fighting certain monsters. Gathering the funds for big purchases in shops mostly comes from selling your excess monster parts. The entire game hinges on the idea of long expeditions where you accrue materials and supplies on the road and then invest that horde one way or another once you return to town. It's not simply a matter of mood and tone for you to trek throughout the world without ease. The gameplay loop is built around it.

There's another complicating factor that I'm less interested in diving into and it's the presence of certain microtransactions at launch. Principally I'm against MTX in single players games, particularly conveniences of which most of DD2's microtransactions are. But I also think there's been a fundamental misunderstanding of what many of these are. Among the biggest things I've heard (repeatedly!) is that you can pay real life money for fast travel but that's not true. You can buy a single portcrystal offering you one more potential location to warp to. It's a one-time purchase and the only travel convenience offered. This has transformed, partly because of people's lack of familiarity with Dragon's Dogma's mechanics, into a claim that you can pay over and over to teleport around. I think that assumption reveals more about the general audience than anything else.

I think it is worth entertaining a question: does the existence of this extra port crystal signify a compromising of the game's goals regarding travel? That's not a discussion that folks seem to be interested in having—instead opting for more emotional and reactionary panicking—but it is the most interesting question. On face the answer is yes and that raises the follow up question of whether or not the developers had knowledge this convenience (though one-off) would be offered to players. If so, did that knowledge affect how they designed the game? Even slightly? It seems rather clear to me that these purchases are a publisher decision; there's nothing in the game's design that suggest the dev team wants players to have access to an extra portcrystal. As we've established it's quite the opposite!

They want you to haul your fucking ass around and get jumped by goblins, buddy.

Which is many words to say that as much as I care about microtransactions from a consumer standpoint, the way in which they undermine Dragon's Dogma 2's goals is a fair reminder of the ways in which they hurt developers. Ultimately, I do think that these purchases are ignorable and in that sense (combined with the misinformation surrounding them) I'm a little burned by the consumer-minded discussion. Doubly so because of the way it feels, at least in part, tied into a certain kind of rhetoric that's been on the rise lately. Instead, I find myself drawn to the question of the damage they do the devs and if more onerous plans actually would force their hands into undercutting portions of their own designs. The shift of many series into live-service chasing suggest so but even as I entertain these thoughts I don't get the sense that Itsuno and his team were forced to reshape their game world to encourage these microtransactions. The world is as they want.

If it wasn't, they wouldn't make it so failing to act quickly in a quest to find a missing kid stolen by wolves could end with you being too late. They wouldn't make it so buying goods from an Elven shop without an interpreter was a hassle. It's present in Every Damn Thing!

More interesting to consider is why this particular game became such a lightning rod of passion when I'm going to assume that most people caught up in the discussion have no particular fealty to the series. The answer is a combination of factors but there's something about the genre that ignites the panic we're seeing as much as the culture moment we're in. When people try to explain that these MTX purchases are not needed, it's confused for approval of their inclusion but that's not something we need to grant. I don't think anyone wants these things here and when they say "you don't need them" they are referring to the more complex thought that the game is better played without them. But this is not heard because the idea that you'd want to opt into friction and discomfort is not something that the general audience is likely to understand. They're wired against it. They crave ease.

not everyone, mind you. DD2's enjoyed a lot of excited reactions (there's tons of folks who like this game as it is and are happily playing it) but it has faced plenty of folks railing against "bad" design choices but the fact remains that those "bad" choices were intentional.

I'm writing about this stuff instead of, say, the wild journey I took solving one of the Sphinx's riddles because the immediately interesting thing about Dragon's Dogma 2 has been what it's become as a cultural object. It is a game suffering from success. Never designed for a general audience or modern standards but thrust into their hands due to Capcom's ongoing renaissance. Dragon's Dogma is a fine game whose cult status is well earned but the reason DD2 garnered this attention (and therefore becomes a hot-topic game) has as much to do with Capcom's ongoing success rate as anything else. In some ways, it actually IS a good time to release a game like Dragon's Dogma 2. There's certainly a curiousity in place. Partly borne of goodwill and also from folks' genuine desire to try something new.

and yet, we're in a odd moment in games. consumer rights lanaguge, having been fundamentally misunderstood and reconfigured by gamers as a rhetoric for justifying their purchase habits (I'm paying the money! why can't the game do exactly as I demand!?) has stifled many people's ability to have imaginative interpretations of gameplay mechanics. they don't ask "what is this thing doing as a storytelling device" (which mechanics are!) and rather default to "what is this thing doing to me and my FUN and my TIME". which are not bad questions but they also misunderstand the possibility space games have to offer. While we can attribute some of the objections that has arisen to players' thoughts about genre itself and the way in which Dragon's Dogma positions friction as a key gameplay pillar, the fact of the matter is that we would not be having such spirited discussion about these things in, say, 2017. not that things were great back then, but I think the audience is worse now in many, many ways. sarcastically? I blame Game Design YouTube.

Even if there were no microtransactions, we'd still be having a degree of Discourse thanks to a key game mechanic: Dragonplague. It is a disease that can afflict your Pawn companions which initially causes them to get mouthy and start to disobey orders. If you notice these signs (alongside ominous glowing eyes) then your Pawn has been infected and you're expected to dismiss them back to the Rift where that infection can spread to another player. The game gives a pop up to the player explaining this the first time they encounter the disease. However, some players have ignored that warning and found a dire consequence: an untreated Pawn can, when the player rests at an inn, go on an overnight rampage that kills the majority of NPCs in whatever settlement they are in. This includes plot-important characters. The reaction's been intense. Reddit always sucks but man… just look…

I understand some of the ire. It's a drastic shift from your pawn being a bit ornery to instantly killing an entire city. On the other hand, the game does warn of potentially dire consequences if a Pawn's sickness is ignored. Players have simply underestimated the scale of that consequence. Surely no major RPG would mass murder important characters and break questlines! We're in post Oblivion/Skyrim world. Important NPCs are essential and cannot be killed, right? Well, wrong and this is another way in which Dragon's Dogma chases after the legacy of a game like Morrowind more than than it adapts current open world trends. This is a world where things can break and the developers have decided that they are okay with it breaking in a very drastic way. It's hard to think of anything comparable in a contemporary game. We don't really do this kind of thing anymore.

The result has been panic and a spread of information both helpful and hopelessly speculative. Is your game ruined? Well, maybe. There is an item you can find which allows for mass resurrection but that's gonna require some questing. But some players also say that you can wait a while and the game will eventually reset back to the pre-murder status quo. What's true? Hard to know. Dragon's Dogma doesn't show all of its cards and won't always explain itself. We know entire cities can be killed. We know that individual characters can be revived in the city morgue or else the settlement restored (mostly) with a special item. Dragonplague is detectable and the worst case scenario is, to some extent or another, something that the player can ameliorate. Those are facts but they don't really matter.

That's because players issue (panick? hysteria?) with dragonplague is as much to do with what it represents as what it does. Players are used to the notion of game worlds being spaces where they get to determine every state of affair. They are, as I've suggested before, eager to play the tyrant. Eager to enact whatever violences or charities that might strike their fancy. They do this with the expectation that they will be rewarded for the latter but face no consequences for the former. Dragonplague argues otherwise. No, it says, this world is also one that belongs to the developers and they are more than fine with heaping dire consequences on players. Before the dragonplague's consequences were known, players were running around the world killing NPCs in cities because it would stabilize the framerate. They're fine with mass murder on their own terms. they love it!

This is made more clear when we look at how Dragon's Dogma handles saving the game. While there are autosaves between battles, players are expected to rest at inns to save their game. This costs some gold, which is a hassle, but the bigger "issue" is that they only have one save slot. Which means that save scumming is not entirely feasible though not impossible with a bit of planning. What it does mean, however, is that the game is saved when a dragonplague attack happens. you have to rest at an inn for this to trigger. which saves the game. They cannot roll back the clock. The tragedy becomes a fact. It's not the only time Dragon's Dogma does this. For instance, players can come into possession of a special arrow that can slay anything. When used, the game saves. Much like how players are given a warning about dragonplague, they're warned before using this arrow: don't miss.

If you do? that's a real shame. The depth of this consequence is uncommon in today's gaming landscape. Games are mostly frivolous and save data is the amber from which players suck crystallized potentialities. Don't like what happened? No worries. Slide into your files and find the frozen world which suits your proclivities. You are God. In Dragon's Dogma, you are not god. The threads of prophecy can be severed and you must persist in the doomed world that's been created. The mere suggestion is an affront. The fact that Dragon's Dogma has the stones to commit to the bit in 2024 is essentially a miracle.

It's easy to boil everything I'm saying down to "Dragon's Dogma is not afraid to be rude to the player" but that doesn't capture the spirit of the design. It invites players to go on a hike. It makes no attempt to hide that the hike is difficult. But that's the extent of it. It offers little guidance on the path, doesn't check if you're a skilled enough hiker. Your decision to go on the hike is taken as proof of your acceptance of the fact that you might fall down.

This is not unique to Dragon's Dogma. In fact, this is part of the appeal (philosophically) of a game like Elden Ring. The difference being that even FromSofts much-lauded gamer gauntlets (excepting perhaps Sekiro, conincidentally their best work) offer more ways to adjust and fix the world state to the player's liking. Even the darling of difficulty will offering you a hand when you fall. Dragon's Dogma is not so eager to do so. In a decade where convenience is king for video games, that represents both a keen understanding of its lineages and a shocking affront to accepted norms and expectations.

The core of Dragon's Dogma, the very defining characteristics that earned it cult status, are the same things that have caused these modern tensions. It is both a franchise utterly consistent in its design priorities and entirely out of touch with the modern audience. Dragon's Dogma 2 has come into prominence during a time where imaginative interpretation of mechanics is at an all time low and calls for "consumer" gratification are taken as truisms. It is a game entirely at odds with the YouTube ecosystem and the very things that give it allure are the tools that have turned it into a debated object.

This flashpoint of discussion is proof of Dragon Dogma 2's design potency. It's also a sign of the damage that modern design trends have done to games as whole and the ongoing fallout that's come from gamers learning design concepts without really understanding what designing a game entails. And, uh… I dunno respond to that or how to end this. That's both very cool but it also bums me out. Dragon's Dogma 2 is a remarkably confident game but games are long beyond the point of admiring a thing for being honest.

#dragon's dogma 2 #games criticism

[itsscromp]

New Year’s resolution’s

A bit of a sort of sequel to my Christmas one that I did here, something to start 2024 in the right direction, thank you all so much for supporting my stories thought 2023 and leaving your amazing requests with me. I had a blast to write them for you. So without further ado, happy new year everyone, let’s kick off 2024 shall we ?? Word count:935

Spending Christmas with Alex was easily the best decision you have ever made. You two would spent the whole time playing video games and at one point building a snowman. But then new year's eve quickly came along. Alex decided to throw a small party with a few of his former CIA buddies.

Sure it was fun and all, but New Year's was a bit of an iffy thing for you, Since joining 141 and helping Alex and Farah, you came to learn that it was a little pointless to try to be happy about ringing in a new year. The same global tensions and pointless wars. All the same shit you come to expect every year.

You were sitting by the dining table watching on as Alex and his friend broke out the karaoke machine and began to belt out a song so damn badly, of course, you began recording it. Oh Farah was gonna laugh her ass off seeing this video.

But then one of his friends sat next to you and began to try and have a conversation with you. "You make any New Year's resolutions ??" He asked.

"Nah, don't believe in that. No one keeps them"

"Whaaaaatttt ?? Of course, they do, 2 years ago I made a resolution to get back into shape and look at me, I'm as happy as ever" he said while he also flexed his bicep.

"Good for you I guess..." You didn't want to come off as rude, But again New Year's just wasn't your thing. He continued on about New Year's resolutions and how it's always the best thing ever to start the year fresh. It was really making you tense up a bit.

"But I mean come on, Surely they can't keep they're resolutions right ??"

"Yeah... Sorry, just gonna go outside for a little bit" You excused yourself and grabbed your coat, zipping outside as you then breathed in the cool winter air and took a sip of your beer.

He was a little confused as to why you decided to go out like that, Turning to Alex as he then sat down after singing his heart out. "Hey Alex, is your friend ok ??"

"Why, What's wrong ??" He asked.

"I was just having a conversation with them and they seemed to be a little bit bummed out for some reason"

"Did you say anything..." Protective bestie activate

"No no, I was just talking about New Year's and such"

Alex grew a little confused when he said that, why were you feeling sad on New Year's. "Where are they ??"

"They ducked outside"

Alex nodded, grabbing his coat as well and going outside to find you. His hands in his pockets as he approached you.

"Hey... Is something bugging you ??" He gently asked.

You tried to brush it off initially "Just... not really a party type person" You nervously chuckled.

"Hey... It's ok, I promise" He gently placed an arm around your shoulder and gently squeezed it. "I'm all ear's pal" He softly smiled.

You took a deep breath, trying to find the right words for what you were about to say.

"I... I hate New Year's"

Alex tilted his head in confusion and frowned slightly. "Why do you hate New Year's ??"

You looked out into the open "Every time I hope for something different when a new year arrives, It's always either the same shit or a new problem that we have to fucking solve" You gripped the wood panel lightly. "I just... I really want it to be different"

Alex nodded as he looked out. "I get that, I really do, Sometimes I wish for the same... But can't be helped sometimes. And plus I never liked those New Year's resolutions either, cause no one end's up keeping them"

"Your friend seemed happy about it..."

"Eh, He's a showboat sometimes" He chuckled. "It's... easier to just.. celebrate another year Y'know ?? Especially for us, we made it" He squeezed your shoulder again.

"Yeah..." You nodded as you looked up at him.

"It's a miracle we're all together, no matter what happens" He smiled.

You soon began to smile as well "Yeah... Thank you, Alex"

He nodded his head "Here, how about our own little celebration" He went back inside and grabbed a couple of beers plus a bottle opener, coming back outside and opening his and your bottles. "It's early, but just for us" He handed you your bottle.

You smiled as you grabbed it and took a swig from it.

"This year... To the friends we made and the missions we had, And next year to those same friends and family."

"Yeah... I like that" You nodded smiling

"Whatever next year brings, We've got a team" He raised his bottle.

"Yeah, we do" You clinked his bottle and soon wrapped your arm around him. "You're my ride or die, you know that ??"

He playfully ruffles your hair "Till the rider's die pal"

This wasn't going to change, no matter what the new year brings, you would have Alex by your side always. No matter what. Soon the two heard loud mumbling inside, they were about to go in when they heard fireworks nearby. Even getting a good glimpse at them It was midnight... The new year has begun. Both of you stayed outside and watched the fireworks go off, relishing each other's company.

"Happy new year Alex"

"Happy new year y/n" He wrapped his arm around you again.

This was all you needed, you and Alex. You knew he'd be at your side, Always.

Taglist: @callofdudes @fun-k-board

#platonic #reader insert #alex keller imagine #alex keller x reader #alex keller #cod modern warfare #cod mw2 #cod x reader #call of duty imagine #call of duty x reader #call of duty

[reverse-the-jellybaby]

Finally catching up on Doctor Who (I’ve been busy and only watching video essays on YouTube) and I have the following thoughts:

1. I haaaaated Space Babies. I haven’t absolutely hated a Doctor Who episode in a long time and the urge to skip was so real. I don’t know if it was the fact that I’m super childfree and have a low tolerance for content featuring children (especially babies), but this was a slog to get through and the plot was stupid. Don’t get me wrong I don’t hate kids, I just can’t stand 45 minutes of our protagonists cooing over them. The spoonfed way the doctor gives us the cliffs notes to the series like the House of Mouse thinks the audience has the attention span of a goldfish is insulting. It made me want to go Ncuti baby I’m so sorry, Millie honey I am SO sorry.

2. I can’t seem to get a read on Fifteen yet and I’m not sure how I feel about how aloof and emotionally distant he is. Like he’s so cheerful and optimistic that I’m convinced there’s something going on under there. I’ve always said I love an aloof Doctor a-la Seventh but I guess it’s early days, he might end up being even more Machiavellian 🤷🏻‍♀️ he’s kinda reminding me of early Eleven without the angry outbursts.

3. The one saving grace of Space Babies was the running gag about the nanny filter, I thought that was really funny.

4. The Devil’s Chord on the other hand was SO camp, and Jinkx Monsoon was nom nom nomming on all that scenery. You can tell she had the time of her life in this role. Please Russell we need more drag queens! Get Tia Kofi in next, she’s a whovian (she literally cosplayed as Eleven and Lisa from Torchwood on Insta)! It was such an interesting idea to explore how intrinsic music is to our world.

5. Loving that Fifteen is the doctor that’s serving fits rather than having one distinctive costume. Makes a nice change.

6. Never thought I’d hear the DOCTOR use the word “babes” frequently but I’m not mad about it, make the neckbeards cry at how queer everything is.

7. Have to say I was expecting the musical number to have an absolutely brutal out of left field twist at the end, but I can’t have everything.

8. I’ve only seen the preview for Boom and my first thought was that scene in Genesis of the Daleks where Harry has to rescue the Doctor when he’s standing on a land mine. Like, I’m not even the first person to make that comparison. But ANOTHER parallel I saw was in The Devil’s Chord - the moment the Doctor brings Ruby back to post apocalyptic 2024 reminded me a lot of when the Doctor did the same with Sarah in Pyramids of Mars. AND THATS NOT EVEN THE ONLY TIME RTD HAS WRITTEN PYRAMIDS OF MARS INTO ONE OF HIS SHOWS! He literally showed whole clips of it in Queer as Folk 😂

9. I caught that sneaky use of the surname “Colasanto” in Space Babies RTD, we love a subtle Miracle Day reference.

10. I fucking loved Ruby bluffing their way into EMI studios rather than the doctor relying on the psychic paper.

That’s about all I have for now, I’m gonna catch up on Boom and 73 Yards possibly today?? I’m actually amazed I’ve managed to dodge spoilers for this long.

#dw rambles #dw spoilers #nuwho #doctor who

[hiwataris-bitch]

My ESC 2024 ranking

Although I'm not as into ESC this year as I was the year before, I still wanted to do the ranking. It's kinda rushed since I have only listened to some of the songs for the first time yesterday, but my top 10 was established long before that so who cares. Anyways, here goes:

1-10 Best songs ever:

1. Finland - I LOVE THEM I LOVE THIS SONG THIS IS THE BEST SONG EVERYONE ELSE GO HOME. Finland sending banger again this year. My absolute favourite.

2. Austria - another huge banger, brings me back to early 2000s and I really love the lyrics

3. Poland - okay, look, I KNOW she doesn't sing all that well live. But I really like the song itself so let me have this one. It's gonna be a miracle if we qualify, but still I just like the song.

4. Switzerland - opera and rap in one song? I didn't expect myself to like it as much as I do, but it's just so catchy!

5. United Kingdom - another catchy song for me I can listen to on repeat (maybe slightly less than I can listen to Poland, but still good)

6. San Marino - great rock tune, another song that brings me back to the 2000s, although in a different way than Austria does.

7. Croatia - although they're only 7th on my list, I won't be mad if this wins, because just like San Marino, it is another solid, good rock entry.

8. Netherlands - you can clearly see my taste for crazy performances in this top 10, so it would be an offence if I didn't put the Netherlands here as well. It isn't my favourite, but still a song I like and enjoy very much.

9. Spain - okay, maybe the performance I saw on youtube made me put it higher than I would, I'm not really sure. But I have listened to this song quite a lot since it released.

10. Estonia - to complete my ultimate crazy tunes group for this year, they also closes my top 10. They make a perfect team with Finland, Croatia and the Netherlands. My top 10 would be just top 4 if it wasn't for some other songs that also turned out to be good..

11-20 Songs I like very much:

11. Albania - she was SO CLOSE to making it to my top 10, but I liked the other songs slightly more. Still, 11th place is the lowest I will ever put this song, because for whatever reason it really speaks to me.

12. Iceland - originally it was lower on my list, but after some time I decided it was way too catchy so it had to be moved up. It's really pleasant to listen to.

13. Czechia - I've read comments complaining she can't sing live. Maybe. But just like with Poland, I just like the song and you're not going to change my mind. Nobody listens to live versions after the contest ends anyway, unless they're rewatching the performances.

14. Luxembourg - tbh my places 12-14 kept being rearranged since I like all three of these songs almost equally as much. I am really happy to see Luxembourg return to Eurovision and I think they chose a great song for their return. It's one of the earworms for me.

15. Italy - just like above, places 15-17 kept switching for me. And although I listen to this song a lot, to the point I often skip it now when it comes on my spotify, I cannot in good conscience put it any lower. Even though I listened to it too much I still have to appreciate how good of a song this is.

16. Sweden - I've only listened to it today, but Sweden brings a high production quality this year as well (honestly, what'd you expect from them?). It is a good song, although it doesn't really do anything special for me. Still, It's just pleasant to listen to.

17. Moldova - similar to Sweden, but production value is slightly lower. But I just like fast songs.

18. Lithuania - honestly, I am slightly surprised I put it above Cyprus, because unlike Cyprus, I can barely recall this song. But I like it when I listen to it. Also, good for Lithuania for not singing in English, that is always refreshing to hear.

19. Cyprus - could be switched with Lithuania, but when I actually listen to both these songs one after another, I actually like Cyprus slightly less. They used to be higher on my list, but sadly, their song is a bit too average for me.

20-29 Song I don't care about all that much:

20. Latvia - okay, I lied, I care about this song. I don't usually listen to slower tunes, they have to actually make me feel something, and this one does. I wish I could put it higher, but I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with it.

21. Australia - I mean, it is fine, but too generic. Still, a faster tune will always be slightly higher on my list.

22. Georgia - similar to Australia, except I care about this one even less.

23. Slovenia - another love-hate for me. I appreciate this song and how different it is, I really do. But I can only listen to it once in a while, otherwise I get overwhelmed. Anyway, I like them a bit more because my name's also Veronika (except spelled with W and not V)

24. Denmark - they're... just fine I guess.

25. Germany - an okay song I can listen to and forget immediately. Just like with Denmark, except I forget this one even faster.

26. Belgium - I remember this one, it's just really not my cup of tea. Like, it is a good song, just not really something I listen to.

27. Malta - okay, now this is a bit annoying of a song. I will listen to it if it's on the radio or something, but I wouldn't choose to listen to it on my own free will.

28. Ukraine - look, it isn't a bad song, definitely better than Malta. But it sounds just like many other songs we've heard from Ukraine and honestly, I'm just bored of them.

29. Norway - another not a bad song, but has some parts that annoy me. Would be much higher without them. It's simply too heavy for me at some parts.

30-37 I literally couldn't care less:

30. Azerbaijan - what ever this is, sorry, I barely remember this song, I don't even know why I put it as high as I did, I guess it was less annoying than the others.

31. Portugal - I kinda like the instrumental, but it is a slow song and not a type of a slow song I would ever listen to.

32. Serbia - I don't like ballads.

33. Greece - I'm sorry, it's just too annoying to listen to...

34. Armenia - okay, it's better than Greece in that it's not annoying, but I just don't listen to this kind of music.

35. Ireland - girl, I appreciate your style, but your song is too much for me.

36. France - no. Sorry, just no.

37. Israel - why are you here, y'all know what you did. You know what you're doing.

#personal #esc 2024 #eurovision song contest #eurovision #eurovision 2024

[kiliinstinct]

Chapter 25:

Rating: R Pairing: Nalu FF.Net || AO3 [Ch: 1] ||| [Prev] | [Next] Happy First Update for 2024! Please remember to give thanks to @phoenix-before-the-flame for being my beta. Hope you all enjoy this chapter! Next Update: Jan 24th February Post Dates: 12th and 26th

”Youuu're distracted 'bout somethiiing,“ Cana sang , playfully dropping most of her weight on Lucy's shoulder as she stared blankly into her soup bowl. 

Grunting, Lucy struggled to support the added weight before nudging the bowl across the table; to prevent her bangs from enjoying an unfortunate dip in the heated dish. ”Am not.“

Playfully poking Lucy’s side with her elbow, she replied, ”Could’ve fooled me. Makin’ me worry the food isn’t good with how long you’ve been staring at it,” She snorted in amusement and gave another jab. “You didn’t even notice when I sat down.“ 

Lucy jolted up, knocking their heads together in the rush, ” Ow! Geez, calm down! I was exaggerating.“

”How long was I staring into space?“ Lucy asked, taking stock of the mess hall in consternation. It certainly was more active than she recalled. She bit her lip. Hopefully no one else took note of her obvious distraction.

”I dunno, “ Cana pondered. A familiar smirk toyed at the edge of her lips. “I’d say more like fifty-”

Her shocked groan gave way to the fortune teller cackling, ”That's not an exaggeration, that's an overstatement!“

”Relax, relax,“ Cana mollified, sliding off Lucy’s side to lazily produce a card, held deftly between her fingers. Lucy hadn’t realized she’d taken out the pack, ”I know you didn't mean to ignore your good buddy, so I'm gonna to give you a tiny reading to make up for the teasing.“ She winked, “On the house, of course.”

”Who said I wanted a-,“ Lucy's eyes squinted at the card, baffled when Cana flipped it in her fingers and away from her curious gaze, ”Wait, I didn't see which one it was-“

”You're not the one reading it: I am.“

”But that-“

”Ts-ts-tsh!“ She shushed, covering Lucy's mouth with a finger, ”No complaints. It’s rude to complain about free things. Just eat your food and I'll figure out the rest.“

When the fortune teller began to shuffle her deck with no further prompting or explanation, Lucy pulled her bowl back, pouting as the steam rolled into her face. It was a marvel that her meal was still so hot despite how long it sat while lost in thought. Perhaps it was whatever magic was used to heat it in the first place.

But those thoughts led her right back to square one: Natsu. Cana was right on target when she called Lucy distracted, but explaining what had her out of sorts was an entirely different matter. She didn't know where to begin sifting through the confusing tangle of emotions she was feeling.

What was her priority now? She couldn’t tell.

Taking the first spoonful, she began to mull it over again. Her guilt still plagued her, forever at the back of her mind, twisting her stomach into nauseating knots when she was alone. But Natsu's injuries held her fast and Porly's cutting words stayed cemented in her head. Most of all, was her time spent watching the draconis the day before. She forced the memory from her mind before her face could flush from more than her soup.

It was a miracle the whole village wasn't speaking of it. Gray was true to his word , keeping the scene he’d interrupted quiet. Lucy would have to thank him later. Better him knowing rather than Cana, who was currently sniffing out her secrets like a bloodhound. Lucy dreaded the thought of her full mental ruminations being revealed under the seer’s knowing, mischievous gaze. 

A few bites more and she began to unwind, letting the warmth of her meal heat her up from the inside out. The gentle sound of card shuffling melded with the general chatter in the hall and the clattering of utensils through the room became a calming background noise. The soup really was delicious, bursting with flavor. While having no answer to her errant thoughts, the comfort of her surroundings and meal soothed her fraying nerves. Perhaps she should get seconds...

”So you're wanting to ask Natsu something, but don't know how to bring it up, eh?“

Lucy choked on her spoon, wheezing around the wooden utensil as the hot liquid scalded her throat.

”... eww, did that just come out of your nose, Blondie?“

”Cana!“ Mortified, she quickly wiped her face with a nearby rag, whining pitifully as the other laughed uproariously, “T-that wasn't- ... can we pretend that didn't happen?”

“Sure.” Cana's grin was devious. “Tell me what you want to ask Natsu.”

Before Lucy could ask why Cana thought she had something to ask, the fortune teller held up another card. Like before, she pulled it away before Lucy could read it. Though Lucy could’ve sworn she’d seen a circle of cups decorating the front. She knitted her brows together. Did cups mean something?

Cana managed to look offended, lips pursed together as she whined in an over dramatic huff, “I'm hurt, I thought you trusted my skills by now.”

The romni didn't bother replying, opting to raise her brows and stare, dubious of Cana's behavior by now. When she began eating again, Cana continued with a lazy drawl, “Listen, whatever it is, I'm sure I can help ya' figure it out. Or I could tell Natsu how you look with soup shooting out your nose next time I'm watching him. That's your call.”

“You’re not on the rotation.” Lucy replied with a level voice, despite taking a nervous bite.

“I wish.” She rolled her eyes, lips pursing together in a petulant pout, “But Master weaseled me on. I got no say in the matter. Now talk before I use this to make the most out of my babysitting time later.”

A sigh and she slammed the spoon down, face burning brightly, “Has anyone ever told you that you're absolutely insufferable sometimes?”

“That's more like it, now spill!“

Lucy vaguely wondered if Cana was the true gossipmonger of the village or if she just liked having a stranglehold on every secret she could get her sly hands on. Glancing around the hall, she noted everyone too wrapped up in their own discussions to eavesdrop and chewed her lip: considering her options.

Anything to keep Natsu from having more fodder to tease her with, she decided. "... when he was in Porly's hut, he had a lot of nightmares... or memories perhaps.“

”Yeah so? Does this have a point?“ Cana urged, cards dancing in her fingers as she arched them in a perfect bridge and began to shuffle again, ”I was hoping for something juicy you know-“

”He asked for someone named Igneel.”

The cards froze, one almost slipping from Cana’s grasp and Lucy knew she'd struck something. Her nose twitched, face twisting to a hard, neutral expression as she set her deck aside. Cana reached for a mug of ale she'd brought and knocked it back, impressively downing it in one go.

“... so you do know who that is.” Lucy said. 

”I needed that,“ She exhaled, voice lowering an octave or two. ”Does he know?“

Lucy squirmed in her seat, uncomfortable with the heavy feeling that surrounded them, dropping her gaze as she pinched the tip of her fingers over and over anxiously. ”No, I don't think so. When I asked, Porly said he was a man long dead, but didn't give me anything more than that. I figure it's his business to tell anyway so I didn't want to pry. It's just...“

”Better to ask him then anyone else,“ Cana finished, finally meeting Lucy's eyes, ”go ahead. Ask him. Maybe you'll probably learn more than we have.“

Lucy blinked, “What's that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly how it sounds.” She explained with a shrug. “We've all caught the name at some point or another, but he's never explained more than Porly's said.“

Lucy hummed a noncommittal reply, thoughts already drifting back into the previous void they'd been in. Something was bothering her and the new information only made it worse. “... I had assumed everyone here was pretty open about their lives, but I suppose not.”

“What’s life without a few secrets? Can’t keep everything out in the open.” Cana said, returning to her deck of cards, “We treat each other like family, sure, but we know better than to push.”

Lucy snorted, “Save when you're teasing.”

“Well, duh, what's a good day without a little teasing?”. She swiped a mug out of Elfman’s hands as he passed by to prove her point.  Ignoring his outraged blustering, she took a hearty swig until the taller man stomped away to replace his stolen drink. Lucy marveled at the fortune teller's ability to move her cards with one hand, eyes gleaming, “Besides, you make it so easy.”

With a scoff and bemused stare, Lucy resumed her meal, feeling a touch lighter than before. There were still many things she couldn't wrap her mind around, but at least she had a place to start. She would just have to find a good moment to ask Natsu and hopefully - her grip tightened on the spoon- not cross an unseen boundary.  

They fell into companionable silence, with Lucy shoving her now finished bowl aside and 

Cana counted her cards before shuffling again, muttering under her breath at every interval. It was a quiet, secure comfort that Lucy reveled in. 

Not only from Cana, she realized the same comfort came from those around as well. Whether it be from Wendy's gentle check-ups or Mirajane bringing her along for chores or chatting with her siblings, Lucy couldn't ignore the fact she was settling in.

And while Lucy didn't know just how deep her roots had dug in, she was grateful for every moment of peace. It eased the grief that haunted her for over a year, and offered her the smallest inkling of hope that in time, everything would be far better than it was before.  

She desperately wanted to believe that, even if guilt still gnawed in the cockles of her heart. In that silence, she decided she'd put herself on rotation to watch Natsu again. And this time, she'd ensure Makarov didn't take another three days to give it to her. 

All things considered, the day was looking to be an easy one.  Lucy was full and warm, resting easily on the table with her eyes drooping low from post meal stupor. A nap seemed on the horizon, but a sudden shout from the entrance snapped her awake and grabbed everyone's attention.

“Lucy! Is Lucy here?!“ Levy barreled through the hall, skidding against the ground as she twisted her way around the tables, barely noticing the ones she narrowly missed striking as she passed. Her hair was askew, puffing about her head in static and bits of dust and cobweb clung to her in patches. 

Asides from skipping most of the festivities before it was interrupted, the smaller Romni looked as if she'd been buried beneath old books and dust bunnies for the past month. Considering the amount of times she refused to leave her archive, Lucy guessed the assumption wasn't far off. 

Bracing herself, she stood, waving the smaller girl over, ”What's going on?“

Cana, reaching out to help brace Lucy's elbow, wrinkled her nose at one of her cards. ”Guess she found somethin-“

Levy came at them too fast, practically crashing into the table as she failed to stop in time. Levy gasped an apology as she hunched over the table with a sharp inhale of air. ”You'd be right! I KNEW I'd heard that story somewhere before.”

“What?” Lucy asked, flummoxed and feeling as if she'd missed a step, “heard what story?”

“Yours!!” She exclaimed, grasping Lucy's shoulders as excitement exuded off her like its own aura. “The one I transcribed for you! It sounded so familiar and I couldn't figure out why, but I found it. You've got to come with me, this is so interesting- erm, I mean,” She paused, cheeks turning red as she realized her passion was currently shouting directly in Lucy's face, “oh, sorry, sorry! Didn't mean to blast you with my breath there.”

“It... it's fine,” Lucy said, feeling slightly dizzy, “You didn't bring it with you?”

Levy reeled back at Lucy’s words in mortification. ”An old document like that is not going anywhere out of my protection charms, are you crazy? No, no, no, you simply have to come with me: right now.“

”What's the big deal,“ Cana asked, stretching her arms over her head, exposing her stomach in the process, ”It's just an old story passed down through clans isn't it?“

”Yes, but this one is from a completely different clan,“ Levy pressed further, biting back another excited squeal, ”yet it tells the same thing and has MORE to it. Seriously, this can't wait!”

She paused, took a deep breath and retracted her last statement, “Oh no, no, wait. It can wait. You probably have chores to do.” Levy’s excitement seemed to dull, she twisted a dangling cobweb hanging for dear life from a blue strand of hair and flicked it away.  “It doesn’t have to be now if you have things to do.” 

“I'm not all that busy...” Lucy started, glancing back towards the others currently peering from their tables to witness Levy's rising tide of emotions. 

“Really? Great!” She chirped, eyes sparkling once more, ”Let's go. Right now!“

Cana was on her feet before either girl moved, cards pocketed and a third mug of ale emptied. (Lucy realized she missed that one being swiped and wandered towards the victim now missing their alcohol.) Clearing her throat, she slapped her hands on Levy and Lucy's shoulders and winked, ”I'm coming too. Been needing some more girl time. What d'ya say?“

Honestly, Lucy felt as if everything was happening all at once. She could barely keep up. Seeing no reason to deny Cana, she nodded and Levy wasted no time grabbing their hands, intent to drag them both out as quickly as possible. It took a hurried reminder from Cana for the transcriber to slow her pace, muttering a sheepish apology to Lucy in turn. 

The trek to Levy's archive was faster than it was in the past. A fact that made Lucy proud of her newly growing abilities. The magic was still a faint whisper, but the comforting tendrils came at her call any time she needed a brace for her leg; while the pain she'd grown used to was ebbing away by the day.  

Cana was a good companion on their trip, counterbalancing Levy's exuberance with sass and sarcasm, lightheartedly teasing both as they traveled the beaten path. When Levy grew too excited about her collection, the fortune teller would temper her with a cheery pat to her back and wide smile.

“It's been awhile since I've seen you this hopped to share a book, Lev.“ She spoke, voice dripping in sincerity despite the lop-sided, humoring smile. 

A faint dusting of red covered Levy’s cheeks, twiddling her fingers through the barest of pouts, ”Look, I know not everyone shares my hobby, but I meant it when I said Lucy would want to hear this so-“

”I love reading,“ Lucy interjected, raising a brow, ”you could talk to me about books anytime you want.“

”Really?!“ Levy's shrill cry sent a few starlings to the air, taking flight from their positions in the trees alongside the road. ”Why didn't you tell me before?“

“You, uh, didn't ask?” Lucy countered lamely. 

Their aimless chatter continued as they went, bouncing from idle gossip to fond stories with laughter filling in the gaps. By the time they entered the small haven for Levy's collection, Lucy had almost forgotten the length of time the collector spent looking for just one story. 

She thought her first viewing of the library was messy, but Levy apparently had a talent for chaos that put Natsu to shame. It was like a cyclone went off,tearing every book from their shelf and piling them up in uneven stacks. They haphazardly balanced on the floor or were strewn across tables already struggling under the weight of yellowed scrolls and half open novels. There was barely any room for Levy’s small frame yet she found space to weave through with ease, leaving Lucy and Cana stuck by the doorway, too cautious to risk tumbling each stack into a bigger mess.

Cana sneezed as Levy tried to clear a path for them, sending dust billowing into their eyes.

“Sorry!” Levy said, scrunching her shoulders as she tiptoed around the many stacks that blocked the way, “I haven't ... actually reorganized yet.”

Cana's voice was a level monotone when she replied, ”That's obvious.“

”Hmph!“ Levy didn't bother replying, instead ushering the other two after her as she unearthed a couple of chairs for them to use before diving headfirst into the stack piled on the center table. It wobbled dangerously as Lucy rushed to balance it, heaving a sigh in relief when Levy pulled back with a bright smile, books still safely in position.

”Do you need help organizing this later?“ The celestial asked, imagining the hours it would take to make this place normal again. 

Levy's smile grew even larger, ”nope!“ She quipped, simultaneously rolling out an old scroll carefully. Its parchment was thick, yellowed with age and torn along the edges, but Levy handled it with the gentle care a mother would their own child.

“This,” She explained reverently, ”This is what I wanted to show you. It's a small myth about the Sun and Moon shared between a clan of fortune tellers.“

This raised not only Lucy's attention, but also Cana's, who’s attention was slowly starting to drift away. Her back straightened and she leaned in close, gluing herself to Lucy’s side to get a better look as she whistled lowly. ”My people huh? I always slept through those stories as a kid, let's hear it then!“

Lucy nodded furiously in agreement, curiosity piqued, but the words wouldn't rise past her ribcage. A sensation of heavy weight began to form in her lungs, robbing her breath as she considered the paper before her. ”A story similar to my clan’s?“

”Erm,“ Levy scrunched her nose and looked at the ceiling, considering her words, ”I think it references yours, actually.“

”What?“ All thoughts and tumultuous questions fell away leaving behind an expanse of empty echoes in Lucy's mind.

How was that possible? Lucy always believed it to be a closed myth. And for it to be shared with a non- celestial clan…. She tried to dig through her memories, but she knew her clan always kept their distance from others. So when…? She couldn't wrap her head around it, sitting stiff as a board with wide eyes. How many more versions of the story existed out there in the world?

The library around her shifted, darkness creeping in at the corners of her eyes and a quiet voice, one she hadn't heard since Kage attacked, whispered in the back of her mind.

'Listen... and learn the truth.'

The truth? Her brows narrowed, face scrunching at the thought. At Levy and Cana's puzzled stares, she realized she'd voiced the question outloud and flushed, feigning dust catching in her throat, she coughed and waved them away, “D-don't mind me, go ahead and read, Levy!”

Sharing a look between each other, Cana shrugged and Levy nodded, both deciding not to pry further. Instead, they settled into their chairs as Levy smoothed the edges of the paper and clicked her tongue.

”I'll try to read it as accurately as I can,“ She muttered, eyes whirling down the paper to eye a few spots in the story, ”It’s a different dialect, one that i’m not so brushed up on, and the writing is a bit smudged in places.“

”You didn't put protections on this one?“ Cana asked, arms crossed, ” tsk tsk Ms. Librarian, that's out of character for you.“

”It was like this when I got it. I protected what I could.“ Levy earnestly defended, shooting Cana a glare in a silent order for the other to shut her mouth. Lucy bit back a giggle as she watched the two of them, calming down now that their focus was no longer directed at her. 

”Anywho,” Levy waved her hands over the parchment bringing the attention back to the main topic. She cleared her throat a few times in preparation, “sorry if I don't tell it as dramatically as you do, Lucy: here goes!“

Levy began, eyes narrowed as she carefully translated the faded words; Words that felt all too familiar to Lucy and yet, completely new. They pulled her to the edge of her seat, lulling her to get lost in a story she thought she knew already:

-

Ages ago, when time first began and the world was new, the Sun and Moon crashed to the land below, shadows of their former selves and banished from the skies. The broken spirits roamed the lands, alone and uncertain what their new lives held. 

The moon, an adaptive creature, befriended the world in her travels. She met the trees, the animals, the open seas, and all grew to love her. She was only human, but her gentle light stayed within, calming those around her. In time, she met her own kind: other humans, who traveled the world and studied the writings of the stars. She found a home and stayed, ignoring the empty feeling in her heart that spoke of a piece she'd long-lost.

The sun, so bright and fiery, was not so lucky.

Know this, my listeners, for this is a tale you must learn, lest you allow the fate of the sun to fall upon you. Take heed to my words and know them for the warning they are.

For anger and pain is a dangerous beast and it darkens the hearts of anyone who suffers in its grip. The sun, lost in a world he didn't understand; His memories of his former life were stripped away, leaving behind the sharp, stabbing pain of loss that hollowed his heart daily. At the rising of the bright orb in the sky, he'd suffer again and again, and no matter the distance he traveled, a cure could not be found.

”This pain... is this the truth of this world?“ He asked himself, losing hope of ever being like the others he came across. His body, inhuman, was deformed and monstrous. The animals feared him, the seas and forests refused him the comforts they could provide and nothing could replace the memories he had lost.

In time, he forgot everything but the pain and he learned hate. His body held within it a flame that had clung to his soul even as it shattered, but that heat was now blackened in anger and desperation. Unable to hope, he filled himself with the promise to end his pain no matter the cost.

Even if that cost damages the world. As the earth began to grow and change, and humans learned of language and magic, he leveled the land with his pain everywhere he touched and everyone learned the meaning of fear...

It was during this time that the humans of the land-

-

”Geez, this makes Lucy's story more sad than it already was,“ Cana muttered, interrupting Levy mid sentence.

She glowered through her bangs, ”Excuse me, I’m trying to tell preserved history here. Are you going to let me finish this or not?“

”Fine, fine, I'll shut up, geez.“

Satisfied, Levy continued.

-

- the humans of the land began to fight back. This horrific beast of scales and fire was too dangerous to leave alive and they refused to fall victim to the horrors he spread. His anger was a blistering sight, but their will to survive formed like a twisting gnarled tree whose roots settled deep into the earth.

They met the sun with weapons and magic and the sun thrashed them about like ants. The wars waged were of desolation and massacres, staining his once pristine claws and scales a deep red. 

But the Sun persisted, for his broken soul found no solace, not even in destruction. Making the world feel his pain in vengeance did not soothe the ache in his bones, nor did it numb the pain the light above gave him. He was a broken, raw beast, still healing from wounds he'd long-forgotten and the world suffered for it.

And the Moon... she knew him from first glance, the empty void in her own heart screaming at the sight of her former beloved. His pain echoed in her ribcage and while she wanted nothing more than to settle his heart and return to the embrace of the soul she once adored, she could not allow her new family to fall. The humans were hers to keep and the Sun's mutual destruction had to end.

Her gentleness was a memory long lost and as her clan looked on, mystified by her fearless approach to this raging monster, the first kindling of hope sparked in their hearts. Her golden hair shone under the sunlight and the sun's eyes cleared at the sight of her.

This. This is what he was searching for. Was it not?  He reached a claw towards her and she reached for him, shedding tears as she begged him to calm.

'Please, no more, be at peace and leave these people.' 

He listened to her pleas and the attack in his heart came two-fold, one from his damaged soul, the other his drowning guilt.

'Is it you?' He asked, desperate for the answers he'd sought for decades, 'are you what I've been missing?'

Fate is a cruel thing. 

When the moon thought the destruction would end, believing her words would reach him, the pain of the sunset struck as the blows of mortal weapons pierced his scales from all sides. 

She had provided the perfect distraction and in her horror, the humans she had come to love, pressed upon her Sun with the same rage he'd given them, and his blood drenched the earth in a torrent of rivers.  

There was no hope. No solace for the Sun as his life was slowly stripped from him. His last thought as he stared upon the brilliance of the who he'd sought for so long, was one of bitterness, not relief.

After so long, his soul had met the other, and in his moment of weakness, she'd betrayed him. 

His final breath became a curse.

'May you meet the same end when next we see each other.'

A death rattle that jarred the bones of all swept the land and as mortals cheered, finally safe, the moon fell to the ground, crying the tears he would never see.

Love is blind, they say, but it's the other side of hate that’s unseen. It twists and reshapes the words and thoughts of those around you. And what once was something beautiful, can become twisted and full of horror.

Remember this, my listeners, before you let the hatred in your own hearts fester and burn. To know pain is to know life, but to drown within its depths is to spread the blood of the first dragon into the bowels of our souls, until nothing, but darkness remains.

-

Levy’s hushed voice barely registered in Lucy’s ears, the tale had swept her up, tangling her in its words and held her like a vice. Horror filled her throat, choking her from sound and breath.

This wasn't the tale she imagined from her favorite story. This was a fate that spoke only of tragedy, stripping away the hope of a happy ending. And yet, it still rang familiar, an echo of her nightmares that she struggled to make sense of. Nightmares that made her understand the moon’s desperate pleas and hopelessness as tears began to spill down her cheeks as she sat there unmoving.

“That was... '' Cana inhaled sharply, her own eyes red, “well it was something all right. Geez, my own clan…what a bunch of downers.” 

Gently rolling up the scroll, Levy gave no comment as she clamped it shut, setting it aside to the only clear spot on the table. “I honestly think there's even more, but I'll have to look for it, I think. That or I just saw them in passing and didn't get to bring them here, but it's amazing right? To find a completely different ending than what Lucy gave?“

”I wouldn’t use amazing for a story like that…“ Cana shifted, unable to sit still as a dreadful silence settled among them. But that silence broke to a sniffle that alarmed her and Levy both.

Lucy's shoulders shook as an uncontainable sadness flooded her, ”... all the moon wanted was to help... and she still lost him in the end. He died thinking she meant for it to happen... That's awful, isn't it?“

In a rush, Levy and Cana both shot from their seats to comfort her, the scroll left behind and forgotten. But no amount of assurances could calm her as the tears continued to fall in rivulets down Lucy's face. She mourned both the Sun and the Moon, and felt their pain as if it were her own.

Something had shifted in the air. A deep mourning that filled the empty spaces between persons and weaved its way through the trees. Those attuned to the magic of the world felt it blanket their senses like a slow moving front of clouds rolling through the sky, forcing tears to gather in the corners of their eyes.

It passed through the village, waking sleeping infants with desperate cries and making many pause in their chores for a moment. It wrapped around the alcove and dipped past the bluffs to bring a silence to the Magnolia Forest, sending the lively fauna for cover and stilled the trees that surrounded a lone warrior still out for blood.

Erza felt it change the taste in the air and frowned. Her hunt, while frustrating, had continued long after she'd lost Kage's tracks. His residual energy had become her beacon, following the weak remnants of it since the day before, but this new sorrow overcame what remained of Kage's aura and left the redhead feeling hollow.

She gulped down an inexplicable urge to sob, eyes watering for a second. Whatever intense emotions that had crossed the area, she couldn't attend them, not when she was so close.  She couldn’t afford to lose the weakening trail now Erza pushed onward through the thickets, sifting through the heavy air in search of her prey.

His disappearance, though odd, had led to many other strange occurrences. The bits of metal found in the wood and a taste of water and stars in the air. Magic was thick in the woods, with unfamiliar scents tumbling over one another vying for her attention to leap into action. In a way, her hunt for Kage was a lucky one, as it gave hint to something else brewing in the woods, long before the others would become aware.

A blessing in disguise perhaps, but something about the bits of magic Erza traced felt familiar. It haunted her in a way. Traces of memory from last year's travels weaved in and out of her mind and more than once, she thought of friends she'd made outside of the clan. Traders and information-gatherers alike. 

The thought that one of those possible friends having their auras mixed in the miasma she now felt was strange. It filled her with an apprehension that clung to her nerves and raised her awareness to new levels of paranoia. 

“I'll have to do another search,” She decided, muttering harshly under her breath, “after I bring that vile man back to the cells.”

If the particles of magic remained as they were, she even considered bringing along a travel partner: just in case. 

But if she was to do any of that, she'd have to break free of this purveying sadness that clung to every fabric of her clothes.

Just who or what was amplifying such an emotion? She almost felt as if the world was mocking her, attempting to block her from her quarry.

Erza Scarlet, however, was not a woman to be so easily duped. While disoriented for a few seconds, she reclaimed her aura trail quickly and continued her trek. The mixture of magic was growing stronger, and with her enhanced hearing, she easily caught the echoes of battle from hours ago. 

She was close; Too close to fail. And this time, she vowed, Kage would not escape her. His magic would be too weak now, and she was determined to use that to her full advantage.

With the sun on her back and the shadow of the trees covering her, Erza continued her advance, following the trail as it thickened in the air. The sounds of battle were slowly growing loud and - no, not battle, that was hours ago, then what was it?

A heavy crash echoed through the bushes and hills. This puzzling realization sped Erza's pace, anxiety rising as the magic and thuds were soon joined with the familiar smell of blood. 

She hated that metallic tang in the air. It brought a twist in her gut and her face paled, recollecting battles from the past that left her shaken and troubled. For her home, she would fight as it was a necessary evil, but the proof of battle never became easier. 

Was it Kage, bleeding out? No, if that were it, it would have happened already. She'd grown used to his tracks and injuries, what she sensed now was a different being altogether and the thudding through the trees thundered ever closer the further into the thickest part of the wood she went.

It took only a few more minutes of travel for her to realize that it wasn't just her advancing on the sounds, but the source of it was heading towards her as well. 

And it was coming down fast.

She had enough time to brandish her blade, eyes narrowed and body poised for attack when a man stumbled through the bushes, hair tousled, smeared with sweat and old blood, and a hand clasped tightly to his sternum.  Red seeped beneath his palm, telling her of a dangerous wound that stained his tunic and cloak.  He fell to his knees, panting for air as Erza hesitated her action. 

To attack a stranger who was already wounded...

But his hair, the fierce gleam of his eye and the red of a distinctive tattoo etched into the side of his face held her attention. Erza’s blade fell, but she still held it loosely in her grasp. She knew this man, but his appearance foretold of a danger she wasn't quite ready to face.

“... Jellal?” She asked, mystified by his appearance, “What are you doing here? We were supposed to meet when I -”

His cough interrupted her and a shaky hand rose in greeting as he struggled to his feet, “... discuss later, please.” He winced as he leaned against the nearest tree, catching his breath as he quickly tightened a sash over his wounds as a makeshift bandage. “I had hoped it would last long enough to find help, but I clearly overestimated my abilities. It's been a long time, Erza.”

Today was the day of many encounters, she gathered, as her next question was never allowed past her lips due to another, much larger man bursting through the same direction. His clothes were more torn, old from travel, with scraggly black hair twisting wildly down his back.  He was less damaged than the other and instinct made her recover her sword to hold it aloft, lips curled back in a snarl.

“Halt! What's your purpose here?” She demanded, angling herself quickly to stand between the man she knew and the other, who laughed at the sight.

“So YOU'RE the one the shadow twerp was so worried about, huh?“ The man smirked, fishing out a small roll of bandages from a pouch on his belt, ”if that dumbass had held still for five minutes he wouldn't be struggling like that. Use this before you start shit.”

”I thought we were in a rush,” he replied, cheeks flushed from more than his jaunt through the woods. He turned his gaze away from the others and sighed, “besides it's not serious.”

“... a wound like that...” Erza deadpanned, eyebrows raised when the feral looking man tossed her the bandages. Reflexively catching the roll, she kept her back to the edge of the woods, keeping an eye on the man as she moved to examine Jellal's wounds, “... isn't serious?”

“You're not going to believe me if you don't see it for yourself, are you?” Jellal asked with a tired, sardonic grin, “Very well. It's been almost a year after all, inspect as you wish.”

Her frown was deep set, but she made quick work of removing his makeshift coverings, eyes glued on the wound with an intensity she was known for. “I was on the trail of an escaped prisoner. Once I'm done here, I'll have to leave.”

The larger man scoffed, eyes rolling, “Tch, no ya' won’t.“ 

”Excuse me?“

“Handled it.”

Her shoulders sagged in relief, seeing her old friend had told the truth. While bloody, it was shallow, an injury that would heal in time without much issues. With that out of the way, Erza's attention shifted back to the other, gaze narrowed as she considered her options. This man... while traveling with someone she considered an ally... could she think the same of him?

His teeth were sharp, smile too full of them to feel safe, and his red eyes were filled with a bloodthirst she recognized in most enemies. No, despite the odd circumstances, she didn't want to trust him at all and didn't like the fact one of her information traders was traveling with him. None of it felt right. 

”And how did you handle it?“ She demanded, searching for any proof to trust the man.

Shifting to allow her space to work around his wound, Jellal grunted and spared a sour glance to his companion, ”Stop beating around the bush, Gajeel. I won't help you if she chooses to strike you for acting out.“

”Feh, spoilsport. Fine, see for yourself.” Hefting what appeared to be a sleeping roll off his back with more force than necessary, Erza was startled to realize a body was wrapped within it. A loud groan echoed as it struck the ground.

Right before her was Kage, unconscious but alive, and finally captured. 

“He was already fucked up when he found us,” Gajeel explained, glaring at Jellal with disappointment, “but he put up a rabid fit to hold us off and that moron chose to take the damage rather than risk killing him, so I had to do it instead.”

“He's not our target to kill,” Jellal argued, clearing his throat when Erza moved to examine the body, “... in all honesty, we were looking for your clan, Erza. I won't lie and say us running into this man didn't give us a bargaining chip. We want to enter your village, if you'll let us.”

“And what makes you think I'd allow that?” She asked, voice a harsh whisper, “you've given me no reason to distrust you, Jellal, but this man is an entirely different story.”

“Cause we've got what you want,” Gajeel answered, stepping on Kage's still form with little regard to his health, “Information.”

“So how about it?”

#Fairy Tail Fanfiction #Nalu Fanfiction #Nalu #NatsuxLucy #Natsu Dragneel #Lucy Heartfilia #FT Fanfiction #Fairy Tail #Flame's Desire #Fanfiction #My Writing #My Fanfiction

[bifuriouswaterbender]

✨ Fic Writing Review 2023 ✨

@oh-stars tagged me in this, and honestly this is kind of fun! I finished a single Willow fic this year. Everything else was Stranger Things and largely Steddie.

Words and Fics

156,508 published words, another 22,582 of WIPs or about to be published, and 6,540 of unpublished works set aside

Completed Til We See All The Stars and have finished writing Can't Start A Fire (Without A Spark) which will post by the end of December

24 published one-shots, 1 upcoming- 25 in total (which feels a little absurd compared to how much writing I normally do)

2 ongoing WIPs on Ao3

2 unpublished WIPs that will hopefully see the light

Top Fics by Kudos

I don't care if it's dirty, the view's so pretty

Hold Me Like A Grudge

Is There a Word for Bad Miracle?

Time is Luck

Til We See All The Stars

for pasts that we're never gonna change

All this effort to make it look effortless

In All My Wildest Dreams (They Just End With You And Me)

Get The Feeling

When Will Falls in Love

My fandom fic events in 2023

@steddiebang: The aforementioned Can't Start A Fire (Without A Spark) 

An upcoming @steddieholidayexchange fic posting on December 23

I completed boards for both @steveharringtonbingo and @eddiemunsonbingo

Monthly responses for @steddiemicrofic

Upcoming Events and Projects for 2024

I will continue both He's All That and Craving Something Deeper

1 WIP for @strangerthingsreversebigbang

A possible merfolk Eddie fic

Who else can say? I've got my eye on a few events in particular

Rules & Tags below the cut!

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.

Tags: @tathrin @lowkeyed1 @madaboutmunson @onirislanding @eriquin

#tag meme #tag game #writing game #writing meme #about my writing

[pbskidsnews]

It’s Christmas! Have some PBS Kids news as a holiday treat!

First, via WHRO, March 2023 highlights are up already. The following shows receive new episodes next March:

Donkey Hodie

Work it Out Wombats

Alma’s Way

Molly of Denali

Second bit of news regarding Lyla- according to the Resine Group, promos for Lyla have started to air on select stations. No recordings have made their way to the internet yet, but they should in at most a couple of days.

Merry Christmas!

Looks like we've got listings for March already, because it's Christmas and PBS employees may have to work on this federal holiday but damn if they're not gonna make a miracle lmao.

We'll have to see what episodes are airing of these shows when 2024 rolls around, but for now, it seems March is set to be a very packed month!

(I also got wind of the Lyla promos via Resine already, but I completely forgot to post here about them because I was busy this morning. Official post will be up in a minute since I got another ask about it!)

Thank you for submitting!

#pbs kids #pbs kids news #donkey hodie #work it out wombats #alma's way #molly of denali #thank you for the ask! #ask box

[wallsshouldtalk]

STRANGER THINGS 4 VOL. 2 SPOILERS

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OKAY so i’ll start off by saying i cry at literally nothing ever and i dehydrated myself from crying harder than i’ve cried in 10 years at eddie’s death scene. i’m a tough cookie but not when it comes to silly, goofy, lovable, rock-star nerd eddie munson. am i going through genuine grief? yes! so is my denial misplaced? most likely!! but i have a theory anyway

SO!!!! we know the duffers are not above a fake death/ misleading death (see hopper), so maybe they’re trying that again with eddie. as far as we know, dustin didn’t bring back his body- meaning we don’t have proof that eddie fully died/ remained dead. now yes, he was pretty torn up and overall doing not his best, but was it so much damage that survival would be completely impossible? i feel like maybe not. pain and shock can do some pretty weird shit to the body and passing out is not a crazy reaction to have after being mauled by monster demon bats.

aside from the “medical” reasoning, eddie’s role (although new) is not really as a side character, and to get rid of someone with as much potential as our metal DM would have to have some stronger reasoning than a “redemption” arc with a pointless sacrifice. barb, bob, and alexei were insanely lovable characters and played their parts wonderfully, but mostly their roles were about how they affected other people. barb was there to lead nancy into this upside down business, bob was there to give advice and comfort to will and be that sacrifice of “bob newby the superhero”, and alexei needed to be there to help our adult crew. eddie’s story line was more independent and had a leg to stand on even if the rest of our hawkins crew wasn’t there. he wasn’t tagging along, he became a part of the main crew (minus jonathan, will, el, and mike). eddie dying serves no purpose, except to make dustin sad, and doesn’t really fit in with the previous thing of introducing a character only to kill them at the end. so, maybe, eddie wakes up in season 5, gravely injured and alone, and is trying to find a way out and back to the gang. maybe that serves the purpose of giving us eyes on the inside or maybe it’ll give eddie the chance he deserved to clear his name (SINCE NO ONE ELSE SEEMS TO BE WILLING TO STEP UP AND SAY ANYTHING FOR THE PERSON WHO LITERALLY THREW HIMSELF INTO A HOARD OF DEMOBATS YO SAVE A BUNCH OF PEOPLE THAT HATE HIM) or maybe it’s so he can walk the stage and get the diploma he rightfully deserves. at this point i don’t care what the reason is i’ll be honest. also the writing has been quite strategic in the past, so i feel like maybe they wouldn’t have eddie’s last lines be “this is my year” when it clearly is not. i guess we’ll see.

joseph quinn did also make that comment about wanting to do scenes with charlie in s5. now, granted, that may have been just to fuck with all of us, but i’ll take hope where i can get it.

my theory has no real evidence or proof of any kind to support it, but denial is the first stage of grief and this is how i’m choosing to view it until someone explicitly tells me no. even then, i’ll probably ignore them and keep living in blissful ignorance until 2024 when s5 comes out and throws my heart into a wood-chipper. the duffers aren’t perfect writers by any stretch, but i am choosing to have a little faith that their choices are more calculated than this. thanks for listening to my delusions

edit: joseph quinn just did an interview where he talked about how he would’ve liked to come back for another season, but that he was satisfied with the end of eddie’s character arc. sounds like this death was a real one folks (unless this is all some super extra silly prank)!!! i’m gonna leave this theory up here though in case some crazy, wacky miracle occurs and we are all allowed to have hope again.

link to article:

edit/ update pt.2: NEW interview (yes somehow already) reveals that joe really may not know how the future of eddie will play out. he says that he’s been talking with joe keery about ways eddie could make an appearance! so hope is not lost! hopefully the duffer brothers realize that they just made the literal largest mistake ever getting rid of quinn as an actor and eddie as a character and they’ll just do an uno reverse moment <3 essentially: FUCK THIS SHOW FOR PLAYING HOT POTATO WITH MY FEELINGS

link to pt2 article:

#stranger things #eddie munson #steddie #st4 vol2 #st4 predictions #joseph quinn #eddie munson st4 #st4 volume 2 #stranger things 4 #st theory #st eddie munson #eddie and dustin #dustin henderson #gaten matazarro

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

I don't think Charlie Crist stands a chance against Ron DeSantis, and even if he did he wouldn't be able to accomplish much, what with the Republicans controlling the state legislature; if by some miracle he wins, they'll use the lame duck period to pass tons of new laws to strip the governor of all power, just like in Wisconsin, Kentucky, North Carolina, Kansas, etc. Democrats chose NOT to do this in Virginia last year when Youngkin won and Republicans flipped one house; they could have neutered him and prevented his party from making ANY progress, but no, they thought that would be petty and unfair (funny how Republicans never have reservations against pettiness and unfairness when they're in charge...)

What comes next for Florida? Really? Ron DeSantis gets another term, poor people and black people and queer people will continue to be fucked over, education will collapse, and then he'll run for president in 2028 (not 2024; Trump is running in 2024, and no Republican will ever challenge him because they would be thrown out of the party faster than you can say "Liz Cheney"). But what happens in 2026? Who do we get then? Rubio and Prick Scott aren't going anywhere, so DeSantis can't just run for Senate as the next rung up on the power ladder, and he can't run for a third term (unless the Republicans amend the constitution, which wouldn't even be all that hard; it requires a majority vote in a referendum, and they could hold it as early as next year, the off year, specifically to drive down turnout), but who could possibly do a worse job than DeSatan? Matt Gaetz? Just kill me now... It's gonna be someone who's batshit fucking insane, we can all be certain of that. It's a race to the bottom, everyone in the Republican party is competing to be crueler and dumber and more egregious than those who came before them with no clear end goal besides riling up the most people and fsnning the highest flames.

There is no fixing this.

People joke about California breaking away from the continent and drifting out to sea, and it really makes me wish that Florida was on a faultline so it could break off too and sink into the Caribbean. This cesspit of a state is irredeemable, inhospitable, nearly uninhabitable, what with all the hurricanes and the floods and the skyrocketing cost of living and neonazis in every single police department from Key West to Pensacola. I hate it here more than just about anything else. I'm trapped behind enemy lines. I'm a thousand miles from any semblance of sanity (not that things are much better up north, though more people wear masks, which is a big plus). There's nothing for me here. I don't belong here. I don't know if I belong anywhere... This is all I've ever known.

#rant #florida #this state should not exist #it is a monument to man's arrogance #fuck florida #fuck ron desantis #fuck desantis #fuck donald trump #fuck trump #fuck republicans #fuck conservatives #fuck the south #i hate it here #midterms #charlie crist #2022 #i need to get out of here #god help me

[kalihaze604]

offline is the new luxury

Monday, January 15th, 2024

offline is the new luxury.

Seriously. I just deleted all my social media apps yesterday because I was starting to feel like my phone had simply become a time wasting device, and most of my “friends” and “followers” were not actually real friends, just frenemies and lurkers that wanted a livestream of my suffering to laugh at and someone to pity and point at and say “hey at least my life isn’t as bad as theirs?”. I don’t need leeches and lurkers silently hating and judging me. Go live your fucking life in the real world like I am?! It’s not hard to live without social media. It’s not hard to live without doomscrolling becoming a full time unpaid job. It’s so easy to stare mindlessly at a screen for weeks on end while you put your life on hold. It’s so easy to curate a fake image to sell lies to desperate fools. What isn’t easy? Actually being an authentic messy human being living life and trying to heal and recover! We live in a society that tells us that the poor deserve bad health because they can’t afford better and then we place the disabled in a complicated legislated poverty trap as a eugenics program to kill us off faster. Western medicine ain’t shit. It’s a failed experiment sponsored by big pharma’s elites. Same with the education system. Why do I need to pay for a degree when I can Google the answers and do my own research online? And find rare valuable books on the street or at value village for a couple bucks that silently whisper to me and say “I was left here for YOU to find me”. Like that thought about Google came from a rather shitty community member that stated “I don’t need a degree, I have Google!” And despite this person’s otherwise highly problematic views- this one seems to hold value. You don’t need to pay to find answers, if you want answers, either you search for them yourself or they come to you. It’s as simple as that. Anyone asking you to pay? Are you paying for their time and expertise? Their knowledge? Are they really an expert or just another fraud? It’s best to seek answers for yourself instead of paying a fraud. But Instagram is filled with people claiming to be healers practicing “medicine” without a license and getting rich off exploiting peoples suffering while making miracle claims. It’s sick. There are so many narcs online and in the sex work industry. But it makes a lot of sense- like these people are obsessed with their image and trying to pretend to be something they’re not which is easily attained via social media marketing pageantry. I don’t really have much of a fear of missing out anymore on online nonsense. You know what I’m ACTUALLY SCARED OF MISSING OUT ON? living my fucking life authentically without feeling like I need to prove anything or put my life on display! I am scared I’ll miss another day of sunshine before a week of rain because I chose to stay inside staring at a screen instead. Like it’s a sunny day today. I was supposed to be doing laundry right now. But I decided -ya know what, I’m gonna write a blog post about my thoughts and then reschedule laundry and go outside and get some sunlight on my skin (after applying spf of course like a good slut) and get some fresh air. Might go chill (literally) in a park with some lunch but I haven’t really decided yet where today will take me. I feel like I like the long form of blog posts better and I think this will be the only place I’ll be posting online for the foreseeable future. I don’t really care who reads this blog, it’s not really a space where I care about marketing myself to potential clients other than …idk showing my true self and personality and maybe that is scary or maybe that’s exciting and interesting to know that I’m not just a doll, I’m a living, breathing human being with a brain and a heart! Shocking, I know.

Why do I think that offline is the new luxury? It’s about simply not caring about the lurkers, the haters, the critics. Not comparing yourself to others, focusing on simplicity, decreasing stress and anxiety. It’s the whole “I’ll see you when I see you”, being mysterious and moving in silence so that nobody interferes because they don’t even know what you’re doing or where you are and can’t access you or bother you. It’s about independence. It’s about living my life in privacy. It’s about my own inner peace and healing my nervous system at the end of the day and I can’t do that when I’m doomscrolling or feeling so much rage at every single tweet I see talking about how brutally cruel this world has become and how evil people behave towards others. It’s not that I want to look away or stop feeling those emotions, I recognize it’s not good for my mental health to constantly be reading about hatred. There is so much hatred online! But anyways. My time is money. I no longer want to waste it on social media. I want to put my phone down and go live my fucking life. and that’s what I’m gonna do. Byeee

#Goodbye Social Media #blogging #daily blog post #digital detox #no FOMO #authenticity #healing #self awareness #Back to blogging

[subwaysurf45]

Winter Makes Ice (Ep.1)

Summary: you’re captured after a brawl at the Avengers building, Bucky and others must save you before Hydra makes a new Winter Soldier out of you, Bucky has given up that title. 

Episode: One 

Words: 3948

Warning: depiction/description of violence, kidnapping, killing, PTSD, depression. 

A/N: I will be making a masterlist for this specific series!

Masterlist!

Winter Makes Ice (series masterlist)

Time: 1:36pm

Date: September 23rd, 2024

“Bucky, I swear to fucking god-” You threw the person you just knocked out onto the ground of the common room, “you have to get out of here, It’s you or this entire building!” Bucky gave you a sympathetic look as you fought off Hydra agents, your gun fired three shots behind you to another agent you sensed running up. 

“But I can’t leave you!” Bucky screamed back over the fire and bullets, Hydra agents were running in from every which way. The smoke rising made it harder for him to see you and Sam, who was also there a couple seconds ago. Everyone else was trying to stop the agents from the outside or other levels. It was a complete break-in. 

“Fuck all that Bucky, I love you but I can’t love you if you’re dead- Fuck!” You screamed in pure anger as you began hand to hand combat with an agent, he wasn’t good at all so it was a quick take down. “James!” you looked over to just see him standing there, his eyes were watery from the pain and smoke, “you need to fucking leave! Run!” you shouted, waving him off. 

“I love you!” He yelled over, hands cupping his mouth to make sure you heard him.

“I’ll tell you I love you after this, we’ll be okay,” you looked over your shoulder to find three new agents running in, their eyes weren’t even looking at you. You looked back to find Bucky still standing there, “fucking run!” Your throat felt raw, all the screaming and fighting was taking a massive toll on you. 

Bucky took off in the other direction, the fire was subsiding as he got further from you. The serum gave him lungs like no other, so running through fire and smoke was easy. With a frantic mind and tunnel vision his left and right mixed up, all Bucky was trying to find was an exit and it should’ve been easy but he’d turn back after remembering this wasn’t the right hallway. His hand was gripped tightly on his gun while the metal hand held a knife firmly, after getting his mind back he found he could throw better with his left and shoot with his right- his dominant hand is right anyway. 

“Anyone on their com?” Everyone had quickly shoved theirs in during the start of the ambush; half the SHIELD agents weren’t wearing their tactical gear. 

“Rogers is here,” Steve ended his sentence with a grunt. 

“So is Romanoff,” Nat sounded a bit more composed but still out of breath. 

“y/n is down on the main floor, she told me to run because all they’re after is me, someone needs to go down and help her,” he received a few confirmations before focusing back to the task at hand. The bright light of the afternoon sun blinded him for a second, with all the lights shutting off and the smoke it made it seem like it was night. Bucky reached up to rub his eyes to help adjust to the sun but ended up just rubbing smoke and fumes into them, “fuck!” He stumbled back against the closed door as he used his shirt to rub his eyes but that was also covered in his smoke. 

Bucky reached back and grabbed a completely full water jug that was the size of his palm, Bucky could feel his heart shatter as his eyes cleared because it was you who- only a matter of hours ago -was leading a very relaxed meeting about these water bottles, ‘you need to hydrate to stay on your feet’ you had said a couple times. His mind was as clear as his eyes, the way you were screaming at him to leave, the way you stood directly between him and the Hydra agents so they had to shoot through you to get him, the way you kept looking back to him with tears in your eyes because all you wanted was for him to stay but you knew better and sent him away. The tears mixed with the water as he sprayed his face, the smoke clung to his sweat like he did to you after a nightmare. The entire Avengers building was slowly caving in on itself, he could feel his heart lurch with every new piece of the building fall on the inside, he just hoped it didn’t hit you. 

He kept walking further from what he once called home, trying to get a better view of it all. He wanted to look away because he felt like all at once the building could crumble to pieces and consume you with it, there was no saving the building; and quite possibly you. 

“Wh-gent-hu?” Bucky had walked too far away from the building and the coms, all of them were close to low battery because of the last mission. Bucky ran towards the building and couldn’t see anyone on the roof, but as he ran closer the clearer the coms got. “Where-agent-I can’t-what is happ-sto-!” It was three different voices screaming together at once, Bucky whipped the doors open and saw just how much the inside changed. 

The walls weren’t a sophisticated grey anymore but rather charred and black, there was no roof, at all. Bucky ran into the common room to find everyone looking under fallen planks and bars of steel, he started lifting them too. Everyone was running around and screaming at eachother, everyone had a different level of injury. Steve was throwing support beams like nothing, Bucky ran over. “Who are we looking for, Steve?” 

Steve just looked at Bucky with tears falling down his face, his skin was brown with dirt but his tears left trails down his skin. “Bucky, man, I’m sorry…” Steve sniffled and covered his mouth. Natasha had walked over, her hands were shaking and clutching something close to her heart. 

“I think we have our answer,” Nat cried and handed Bucky the water bottles you introduced. 

“Who’s-” he was cut off when Bucky flipped the bottle to check the bottom, and there in your hand writing was your name, and a little heart next to it. 

Bucky felt as though his soul had just left his body, everyone was getting close to giving up the search for you. If your body would be found it would be a miracle for you to still be alive, your lungs would have been fried due to the smoke and a pillar could crush you like it was nothing. Sparks flew off of snapped electrical that could be electrocuting you at this moment, small fires still burned which could be living off our ashes, any of the pure destruction could be killing you. And yet people were giving up, by the look on Steve’s face Bucky knew he should as well. 

Time: 11:45am 

Date: September 23rd, 2024

“So you’re saying we have little squirt bottles, this is fucking great!” Sam laughed, he looked at the clear bottle that was shaped into a big teardrop, the kind marathon runners keep on their belt. He pulled a sharpie out of his pocket and wrote his name. 

You sat next to Bucky who was still feeling the effects of the last mission, it was at a Hydra base to just get intel but even then, it was still hard. Everyone got back a day ago and decided to push the debrief for the next day because of the shared exhaustion. Bucky slept for twelve hours because of it. 

“Do you like them?” you asked, referencing the bottles, you both held yours as you waited for the marker to be passed to you. 

“Anything you do, I like, sweetheart.” Bucky pulled you into his side and cuddled with you for a bit, he had always found your touch was a good way to stay grounded. Your heart beat could be felt anywhere, and Bucky would always try and match it. The marker was passed to you both and you wrote your names, a little heart found its home next to the last letter of your name, Bucky could only smile wide and shake his head and he took the marker and wrote his. 

You and Bucky made your way back to your shared room before cuddling up in bed, a movie was thrown on and you both watched it as your eyes started to close. Bucky was awake, he kept looking down at your head on his shoulder to leave a little kiss, he’d always let his lips linger on the top of your head so he could smell your shampoo. Normally you were clinging to him for warmth but he could feel you were radiating heat, your sweater was actually his and the covers were tucked to you and Bucky got the edge, this wasn’t new for him. You were almost asleep but still every minute or so you’d subconsciously snuggle your cheek deeper into Bucky’s shoulder, small little circles in Bucky’s shoulder as you got more comfy. 

Bucky ended up falling asleep too, it was weird when he would wake and realize how vulnerable he was to be asleep with you beside him and the door unlocked, he would smile at himself and make a mental note to bring it up to his therapist that he slept soundly again. Bucky probably could’ve gone the entire night but was woken up by a hard time breathing, something was caught in his throat so his cough woke him up. Then his dry cough woke you up, right away your nose turned up at the smell. 

“Smells like burnt,” you said and stood up, a couple joints popping back into place. 

“Ya, that’s what it was,” Bucky nodded, he pulled his shirt over his nose. 

“Wanda needs to leave Nat alone with the cooking thing, Nat doesn’t like to cook so I don’t know why Wanda keeps bugging her, right?” you turned back to Bucky, he was nodding along. “Everyone has their thing, cooking isn’t Nat’s thing but that's fine,” you sighed, “I’m gonna actually talk to Wanda about-” 

Three bangs landed right on your door, you jumped back from it and Bucky stood up. Two guns were pulled out of the bedside tables, Bucky tossed one of them to you. The banging went again and it wasn’t a friendly bang, you both knew this wasn’t one of your friends. The safety of the guns were both pulled back with a ticking sound, Bucky put his clip in his gun, you like to use a revolver and it was already ready. The top hinge blew off and the door slightly fell forward, the lights were off and the emergency ones gave little light, there was smoke crawling through the cracks in the door. Bucky had made his way to the other side of the bed to you, now you were both in front of the door. 

“Who do you think it is?” You whispered to him, your shoulders rubbed against his with quick breathes. 

“No idea,” Bucky muttered back, his lips barely moved. 

The door busted down and because you both were ready the guy didn’t stand a chance, the intruder fell back in an instant at the rapid fire from the guns, the sound would be as loud as the banging on the door. The intruder wasn’t even ready to fire, his gun flipped out of his holster and slid a tiny bit on the tile floors before stopping. The emergency lights hit the silver gun perfectly, you noticed red on it but it didn’t look like blood, there was some type of symbol or branding on it. You slowly walked closer, your bare feet not giving away you were moving in case someone was waiting before the threshold of the door. 

“Bucky…” you whispered and turned to him, “you gotta get out of here,” you slowly bent down and picked up the gun, the Hydra symbol was hard to see now that it was not getting any light. Bucky’s nostrils flared as a way to hide what he was feeling, his mouth opened to try and talk this through but the sounds of coughing, guns, and screams took its place. 

You both ran to the common room, everyone was there, fighting an agent. Coming from a third angle you took out some of the agents with your gun, they didn’t see it coming; neither did Nat as she pointed her gun in your direction. 

“They want their intel back, go to the computers!” Steve screamed, you turned and ran. 

Bucky joined the fight in the common room, he kept looking back to see you getting smaller and smaller down the hall. All he had was his gun and a knife he picked up from his dresser, both were used as more and more Hydra agents ran in and came from the ceiling that was falling apart. 

You turned quickly into the room, computers and wires everywhere. Your time was spent in the training room rather than here, but you logged in mission reports on the computers. Hard drives of every mission, every person, and every thing were connected everywhere. Tons of information that could give Hydra the upperhand, there were still hard drives you had just stolen from Hydra that no one had looked into yet. This was all they wanted, but it was weird to see how many agents were coming in and not making their way to the intel room. You stood on guard with your gun out and ready, you weren’t wearing anything protective so you stood behind an old computer that was yet to be thrown out. 

A man walked in, he was tall and slim. Brown hair curled down to his shoulders and his eyes were a dark green, they pierced right through you. You were about to shoot but he just put out his hand, his index finger coming up and wagging you off. “I wouldn’t do that,” he warned, his voice was like gravel. 

“Why not?” You grunted, finger ready on the trigger. 

He didn’t even reach for his gun, his hands out in front of him. “Because, you’d never shoot the messenger, would you?” His hands lowered but he kept them out. You slowly lowered your gun but kept your hands ready, fingers still holding the trigger. “I came on my own terms, no leader sent me,” He added and pulled a chair out. 

“Out with it, I don’t need your cryptic bullshit!” your gun was raised again, “hands up!” 

He raised them, “we don’t want intel.” 

“What?” 

“You stole our intel, that’s fine.” his nose stuffed up, “but you steal our weapon, rid him of his purpose...then we have an issue.”  

“He’s not a weapon!” you knew exactly who they were talking about, “and we didn’t steal him, we saved him, we saved Bucky!” you yelled again, tears gathering in your eyes. 

The man sat back on his chair, “I don’t care at this point, none of us do, you either give us our Winter Soldier or we will burn this place to the ground.” He stood to size you up, “the message has been given, shoot me if you want, I heard humans are flammable so I’d help burn this place-” 

The man's brain flew out and hit the walls, blood sprayed over you and the computers. His knees folded in and the hole in his head slammed against the floor, you should have let him suffer but he probably was working for Hydra, and that’s suffering everyday. The man’s skin whitened in a matter of seconds, all the blood rushing out of that one spot was getting near the electrical, so you ran back to the common room. 

Bucky was there, “most of them went to the roof, we got it down here!” He screamed. 

“They’re after you!” you yelled and shot a few agents down, “this isn’t intel, they want you Bucky!” The smoke was flying up and with all the fast movements, it was getting harder to see him, but you saw the metal arm in the reflection. 

“It doesn’t matter, I’m staying here!” He stopped to reload, but you knocked someone down and turned to face him. 

“Bucky, I swear to fucking god-” You threw the person you just knocked out onto the ground of the common room, “you have to get out of here, It’s you or this entire building!” Bucky gave you a sympathetic look as you fought off Hydra agents, your gun fired three shots behind you to another agent you sensed running up. 

“But I can’t leave you!” Bucky screamed back over the fire and bullets, Hydra agents were running in from every which way. The smoke rising made it harder for him to see you and Sam, who was also there a couple seconds ago. Everyone else was trying to stop the agents from the outside or other levels. It was a complete break-in. 

“Fuck all that Bucky, I love you but I can’t love you if you’re dead- Fuck!” You screamed in pure anger as you began hand to hand combat with an agent, he wasn’t good at all so it was a quick take down. “James!” you looked over to just see him standing there, his eyes were watery from the pain and smoke, “you need to fucking leave! Run!” you shouted, waving him off. 

 Bucky took off but as he ran away, right before you lost sight of him, an arm wrapped tightly around your neck. You couldn’t see a face but you heard a voice, “he’ll turn himself in if he knows we have you, now this will hurt.” the butt of a gun slammed your temple, all you saw was black. 

Time: unknown 

Date: unknown

Your head hurt so bad, right as you were waking up it was a pulsing ache everywhere from between your eyes to your neck. It felt like waves, for a moment the pressure would drop but then slowly crawl back in, nothing was rigid. In the room you found yourself in there wasn’t much to register, just a cell that was a little longer than arm's length and some black box on the ceiling, it wasn’t a light but it seemed to hold something. There was no bed as well, you were sat up against the wall in a corner. As you moved to look around your neck all the way down to your knees ached; not to mention the pressure building in your head. It felt like you had been struck in the back of the head even though you thought it was in your temple when you were knocked out, your hand cupped high on your neck, right where your hair started. There was a sting and you pulled away with a hiss, a few pieces of scab came with it. 

There were no windows, no source of light to see what time it was. But the fact that whatever cut was made to the back of your head was a fully scabbed and not bleeding gave away you had been asleep for a bit, that almost made it worse. 

“Welcome, Soldat,” a voice with an accent came through, it was one you couldn’t figure out. “It seems our other weapon got away, we were gifted you instead; we are happy about it no less.'' the voice was coming from a speaker in the top left corner, not the black box directly above you. 

“Where am I?” your voice sounded like sandpaper. 

“In your cell,” you could hear the smirk, “but you’re not in Avenger’s territory anymore, would you like to know where you are?” he didn’t wait for you to answer, “I’ll give it to you if you follow this simple task, would you mind getting on your knees?” the voice asked, you stayed still, “right, I forgot. Soldat, get on your knees.” right away your knees smashed into the concrete floor. “Would you look at that, how pretty?” 

“What that fuck?” you gasped out, your hands folded neatly on your lap as you sat back on your calves. 

“Now that we know your abilities, you’re in Iceland, Hydra gifted us you.” 

“You’re not Hydra?” you asked, this time louder and looking at the speaker. 

“Oh, we are Hydra.” the voice laughed, “just not how you think we are...” 

Time: 9:59pm

Date: September 27th, 2024

Bucky didn’t know how long he’d been curled in his bed with the curtains drawn, there was no perception of time at all. All he did was cry, all day. His body ached and crumbled into itself more and more as time went on. Everyone was mourning the loss of a friend, but to Bucky it was a lover. He held the picture you framed after your first date as a couple, that was one of the first times Bucky had truly smiled. 

You both went to a really nice restaurant and when you were finished you waiter offered to take a picture because they saw you getting self conscious when your arm was up to take a selfie. The both of you leaned over the table and close to one another, right before the picture was taken Bucky reached over and placed his metal hand over yours, allowing it to be seen in the picture. It was something he regretted but after you framed it and kept it on your side of the bed, Bucky looked at it everyday with a smile. 

The picture was still in the frame but it wasn’t on the bedside anymore, rather pushed up against Bucky’s chest. He’d pull it away to look at you from time to time, after picturing all the good times with you, your face seemed to change and warp until it wasn’t you. Bucky would run his finger down the glass and try to imagine the feeling of your skin again, he’d lost almost everyone in his life, all he wanted was to feel you one last time if it really was your time to go. Your smile was so bright it lit up the pitch black room he was crying in, your smile and your personality could keep an entire country running for years. 

He ran out of salty tears and all that was left was wheezing and rocking back and forth in his bed, the emotions were working him out, sweat lines the neck rim of his t-shirt, but he’d also use the neck line to wipe the tears that slipped past his nose and lips. They would roll down and hit his pillow, he had already flipped it to get a dry surface. 

Steve walked in, he didn’t need to knock because he knew what’s coming. Steve had watched you and Bucky grow from barely speaking to napping on the couch for everyone to see, it took a while but Steve knew from the beginning that you were perfect for him. Steve brought Bucky a sandwich everyday at noon because he refused to eat dinner and breakfast. Some days he wouldn’t eat at all but noon seemed to be the best time for him to eat everything. 

“Wanda made it today actually, she added some chips on the side and made it real nice, Buck,” Steve went to the windows and opened the blinds, he did that everyday but  when he would come back 24 hours later they’d be closed. “I also have news, about y/n…” 

Steve saw for the first time in four days Bucky sit up, he saw the grief fade and a small shred of hope appear.

A/n: if you want to be tagged in this series let me know through an ask or anything!

#bucky series #bucky barnes series #bucky #Bucky Barnes #Bucky angst #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky x you #bucky barnes x reader

[linerwriter]

Crowding

What’s this? An angsty Wild fic? Why, who’d have thought!

Anyway, yes, this is a fic about angst and Wild. This is connected to Isolate, although I hadn’t meant to write it that way. It is also, weirdly enough, the longest fic I have written so far. (Also, there’s probably tons of mistakes, but I don’t feel like going through the entire thing, so if you find something, just tell me.)

Word Count: 2024. For the @linkeduniverse au. Enjoy!

The first thing Wild registered was the amount of noise assaulting his ears.

The gang had, for once, not been in Wild’s Hyrule, but was instead in Time’s. They had returned the day prior in the fields near Castle Town, and had headed to the town so they could prepare for the trip to Time’s house. By the time they got into town, went to the inn and reserved their rooms, the sun had long gone down, and Wild was out like a light by the time his head hit his pillow.

He had confidence that the walls of the inn weren’t as thin as they seemed.

He was wrong.

“Wait up, Avery!” The screech of a child was heard coming from outside, which caused Wild to hold his ears in pain.

Unlike the others, Wild was accustomed to silence and darkness. Because of this, his sense of hearing was forced to adapt to fit his surroundings. While it was helpful to be able to hear the vibrations being sent off from a lynel fifty meters away from him, it did cause his ears to be very sensitive, which caused extremely loud noises to be quite painful to him.

In short, he did not like towns. At all.

Forcing an eye open, he glared balefully at his roomate, Sky. Although Sky looked quite young, he slept like the literal dead, which made waking him up almost impossible, so Wild was unable to complain about what was happening, like he very much wanted to. He huffed, It’s only for a few days. You can keep it together for that long.

With a resolute nod, he got up and out of bed, dressing himself quickly. It was time to show everyone that he was a hero for a reason.

---

Nevermind, Wild thought to himself miserably, I can’t do this.

It was only a few hours later. Weirdly enough, the week the group was dumped in Time’s Hyrule, there was a festival going on in Castle Town. An incredibly loud one. With music. And dancing. And screeching children. Was it obvious Wild was a little uncomfortable?

Now, Wild was used to pain. He tolerated it daily during his quest, so he could deal with the pain it dealt to his ears. The root of his problem was, in fact, the amount of people surrounding him at all sides, all vying for his attention because people found his scars incredibly attractive, and he was worried they might just have to kill him for them.

Small groups, he could do. One on one conversations? Fine, fine, as long as it didn’t carry on for too long. An entire crowd of people, all crushing in on him until he went into a small ball? Sorry, bud, but that’s where he drew the line.

What is this thing even for? Wild despairingly hung his head. Something about pancakes?

When he lifted his eyes, he saw Warriors having the time of his life. All of the Links with noticeable armor or accessories had taken them off in favor of not scaring the civilians half to death, so Warriors was wearing a simple brown tunic from Twilight and his blue scarf. He was busily chatting with ladies, attracting more and more every second like the good center of attention he was. To Wild’s left, he saw Wind playing some fair games with Hyrule and Sky while Legend snarked about them in the background. To his right, Wild saw Four and Twilight talking to a blacksmith about something, probably weapons or armor.

Wild sighed, pulling his hood over his head in hopes of being left alone. Scurrying around the crowd forming near him, he scampered over to the entrance of an alley near the square. He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms, tapping his fingers against them nervously. Whenever someone came too close for his comfort, he unconsciously hunched in on himself, his eyes darting back and forth shiftily.

For a few minutes, he felt he was fine. He was away from the crowd and its loud noises and small openings. He was safe.

Until a hand clapped his back.

Wild jumped straight into the air like a startled fairy. Nimbly, he turned around and backed away from his offender, sighing in relief when it was just Time. Then, he groaned inwardly. Of course it’s Time. He probably thinks I don’t like his Hyrule.

“Hey, Time,” Wild started off nervously, his voice so quiet Time could barely hear him. Thankfully, he was used to Wild’s behavior at this point, so he simply smiled.

“Hello, cub,” he responded. He jerked his chin toward the square, “Enjoying the festivities?”

Wild nodded his head hastily, “Oh, of course! I was just taking a breather, then I was gonna-”

“Hey, Wild!” Wind suddenly shouted from beside a ring toss game. Wild spun around, a fake grin plastered on his face. “Come join us! You too, Time!”

Time chuckled, “We’ll be right there.” He slapped Wild on the back, causing the young adult to stumble awkwardly. “Come on, I’m sure there’s something you’ll like.”

Contrary to what his wife said, Time was very observant. He was the first one to notice when someone wasn’t feeling quite right, or was going to step right into a trap. This naturally extended to when someone was feeling anxious, like right now.

As much as Time would like to just scoop Wild up and transport him to his ranch, he didn’t know what Wild would say. Maybe Wild did like the festival, and would forget about his insecurities after an hour or two of fun with familiar people. Or maybe Wild was taking a break, and was getting ready to go back out there and have fun. As cool as it would be, Time couldn’t read Wild’s mind, so he had no clue what was going through it at that moment.

Wild, meanwhile, was panicking. It was safe to say that, unless a miracle happened, he was gonna be forced to be in that mass of people, constantly moving around to dodge an incoming person. Mentally, he shivered as he walked over to where Wind was waving at them. Legend stood off to the side, coming closer to punch him in the arm when he arrived.

“Look who finally decided to show up, huh?” Legend remarked snidely. “Nice to finally see your face around here.”

Outwardly, Wild laughed, “Yeah, guess I’m feeling a little tired.” Inwardly, though, Wild was sighing. I try to do one thing with them, he thought, and they end up teasing me about it.

Back in Wild’s hiding place, Time was frowning. He saw the whole thing occur, saw the subtle shift in tension with Legend’s remark. He saw the faint cloud that seemed to follow Wild around, warning people to stay away from him. He closed his eyes, letting out a quiet sigh. Guess there’s nothing I can do for now. Let’s check back in a couple hours.

A while later, and Wild wasn’t feeling any better. He had slowly shifted from group to group, playing a couple games with Hyrule here, talking about swords with Four there. The entire time, the anxious feeling Wild had been hadn’t gone away; it seemed to have gotten worse, making him a hair’s breadth away from a panic attack.

And it’s only noon, Wild looked toward the sun, there’s still another hour before break. He closed his eyes and released his breath. At least I’m finally alone.

“Wild?”

Wild’s eyes shot open at that. It was Warriors. He held his breath in for a few seconds, letting it out slowly before answering. “Yes, Warriors?”

“You okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine.” Wild shot a sunny smile toward his friend. “What do you need?”

Warriors looked at him with an unreadable expression. “I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out, since you’ve done something with everyone else so far.”

“Of course!” Wild said cheerily. “What do you have in mind?”

Warriors gestured toward a group of women behind him, “I have some friends who wanted to meet you. Say hello, ladies!”

Taking that as their cue, the women swarmed Wild. They pulled his hair, grabbed at his clothes, did anything to invade his personal space. Wild, already so close to his breaking point, nearly reached it, if it weren’t for the fact that he didn’t want to upset the girls who, quite honestly, didn’t mean to make him feel uncomfortable. “Wait-hang on-I never agreed to this-”

It took awhile for the young women to disperse, and at that point, Wild was close to tears. Warriors, smartly, said, “So? Whaddya think?”

In response, Wild stared. He stared and stared, water prickling at the corner of his eyes, before storming off. To where, he didn’t know, he just knew he needed to get away.

His exit subsequently brought him to a church on the edge of the town. It seemed like it was the only place with natural wildlife, with its abundance of flowers and trees growing. And, blessedly, it was quiet.

A buzzing he wasn’t even aware of went away, and he was finally able to truly breathe. He broke into sobs, rubbing at his eyes desperately to stop them from falling. “Why can’t they just leave me alone?” He moaned to the sky. “Why can’t they understand?”

“Wild? You okay, cub?”

Wild gasped. In his hurry to get away from the festival, he didn’t realized he was being followed- and by Time, no less. He hastily wiped his face and faced his friend. “Yeah, I’m fine. Totally.”

Time raised an eyebrow, his eye roaming up and down Wild’s body. “Uh-huh,” he muttered, unconvinced, “and I’m the queen of Hyrule.”

Wild deflated. He sat down on the grass, “No, I guess I’m not fine.”

Time rolled his eye, “‘I guess I’m not fine,’ he says. Last I checked, you were this close to a panic attack.” He pinched his fingers together.

Wild gathered his legs to his chest, shrugging uncomfortably. Time sighed, sitting down next to him and gathering Wild in a hug. Wild let him, melting into the contact effortlessly.

“It’s okay to feel anxious,” Time said softly, “It’s okay to feel like there’s too much going on around you, to feel like everything is crowding in on you.” He turned toward the weeping child. “Has Twilight talked to you about this before?”

Wild nodded into Time’s side. His voice came out muffled, “It was when Legend tried to get me to join them in play-fighting, after dinner. Twi said to just leave and get away from it, and I’ve tried doing that, but I don’t want to disappoint anyone.”

Time’s eye softened, “Oh, cub. You could never disappoint us. And if they do feel that way, then they don’t deserve to know you.”

“Are you positive?”

“I am absolutely positive. Now,” Time looked at Wild expectantly, “why’d you leave Warriors in a huff? He’s quite worried about you, you know.”

Wild shrugged again. “It was the same as last time, ‘cept worse. Too many people I don’t know or trust, and lots of loud noises. Didn’t want to leave suddenly, so I stayed.”

Time considered this. “Would it make you feel better to leave ahead of us, so you don’t have to stay in town for the rest of the festival?” A slow, hesitant nod. Time smiled warmly, “We can do that.”

“You sure? I don’t want to make you guys worry.”

“Rule number one to good mental health: care about yourself first, then others. Never make someone else’s life more important than your own. And besides, if you don’t feel too up to being alone, Twilight will come. I know he’s been itching to get out of the town, just like you.”

“Really?” Wild’s head shot up.

“Really.” Time answered honestly. “He’s never been one for the big city, for multiple reasons.” The last part was said dryly, making Wild giggle. Time looked down at the boy’s mess of blonde hair, blowing in the breeze. “Ready to go home?”

Wild looked up at his friend. “Ready. Let’s go.”

#linkeduniverse #linked universe #hero of the wild #hero of time #everyone else is here too im just lazy #wild angst #anxiety #social situations #have fun