#it's been almost ten years why is this still a topic

[sp0o0kylights]

"Valentines Day is a capitalistic scam made to sell chocolate and flowers!" Eddie Munson bellowed, leaping to the top of a cafeteria table not even ten minutes into lunch. 

"Do you think he was born like this, or just dropped on his head as a baby?" Heather asked, rolling her eyes as the super senior began waving his arms around, getting way too into  his annual “anti-valentines day” rant. 

Steve, who'd tuned out the dramatics in favor of trying to figure out how he could ditch school, only heard her because she’d begun running her foot up his leg.

Directly in front of Patrick.

As if half the school didn’t know he planned on asking her out after school. 

Long over being a part of these kinds of games, Steve kicked out, forcing Heather’s leg off his. 

He did it harder than he intended and immediately winced, as  if he hadn’t meant to do it at all. Aimed a sad little look at her, softening his eyes in the way he knew ladies loved while murmuring a quiet "sorry.” 

A pudding cup was offered as an additional apology--which Heather, thankfully, accepted. 

Crisis averted, Steve used the movement of handing the cup over to get his legs well out of Heather's range. He had other things to think about today, and getting drawn into whatever drama Heather was trying to brew wasn’t on the list. 

Particularly given the basketball team as a unit had started snubbing him out. 

"Newsflash ladies! Your man isn't taking you to some shitty restaurant because he loves you, he's doing it because he hopes you'll give it to him in your car!" Munson continued, voice growing impossibly louder. 

A crude gesture followed, involving hip thrusts and hand jabs.

 Several of the cheerleaders shot him disgusted looks as he did it. 

"Definitely dropped on his head." Carol said, glaring at Munson as his little group of freaks and geeks cheered him. "More than once." 

Steve hummed an agreement, more on automatic than from actually listening. He knew how to look like he was paying attention, even if his head was deep in possible escape plans. 

If he dipped at the last minute to the bathroom on the way to fifth period, Tommy wouldn't have time to stop him and he could make a break for his car…

That just left making up a plausible enough excuse as to why thee Steve Harrington, whose single status was the current hot topic of the school, left school early on Valentines Day. 

("Candy, sex, the overwhelming affection of all the ladies." Tommy drawled out that morning, practically preening. "Valentine's Day is the best holiday man. Just look at all this!"  

He waved a hand at his locker, which was absolutely covered in paper hearts. 

"The rally squad put hearts on the lockers of everyone on the basketball team, Tommy." Carol argued, rolling her eyes. "Steve’s is practically buried in them.”

Tommy opened his mouth to respond, no doubt with something else teasing and rude, but Carol’s elbow caught him in the gut first. 

“If you keep acting like this you're not getting any sex." She warned. 

"Aww baby, don't be like that. You know you're the only one for me." Tommy teased, with a wink that prompted Carol to smack him on the shoulder.

Laughing, he added: "Besides we can't fight or we'll miss our favorite game. Which poor gal thinks this year is the year Steve will take her out on a date!"

Carol allowed Tommy to put an arm over her shoulder, the two of them turning knowing grins on their friend as a singular unit. 

Even if Steve hadn’t felt like their friend in a hot minute. 

Not in the way he used to. 

"I do love watching them stutter through their little confessions.” Carol admitted, like this wasn’t something they’d loved doing since middle school. “I wonder if anyone will ever top Cindy Komer." 

Steve almost wasn't fast enough to cover his wince--that particular incident had been painful for him and Cindy. 

Steve still had no idea what he'd said to make the then-freshman cry. 

He thought he'd been nice about turning her down, but judging by Carol constantly quoting what he'd said, Steve had a feeling he'd accidentally been an asshole again.

Not that anyone ever thought it was accidental. 

“Steve? Hel~lo? Are you listening?” Carol said, snapping to get his attention and God did Steve hate that.

Never realized just how much until Nancy but after she’d pointed out that Carol treated him and Tommy both like her dogs, well. 

It was hard not to notice--and be a bit resentful. 

“God you keep doing this, you’re turning into such a space case.” Carol continued, the edge back in her voice. The same one she’d been using for a while, like Steve was on her last nerve. “Please tell me you’re not still mooning over Nancy fucking Wheeler.” 

“No.” He snapped, only to know instantly that was the wrong move, and try to fix it before Carol blew up. “No--I’ve just already had to fend someone off today. Like first thing--I was barely out of my car.”

There, that should keep Carol and Tommy both off his back for being “angry” and it wasn’t even a lie. He really had been asked out earlier, though the girl had been gracious about his rejection.  

Of course, this kind of instant redirection came with a price--and in this case, it was being absolutely hounded for more information. 

“Oh shit who!? Was it that Buckley girl?” Carol perked up immediately, like a hunting dog scenting prey. “I swear she stares holes in your head, she’s so weird…” )  

"This isn't about romance! It's about showing who has the most cash, gets the most sex! It's a pathetic social ritual you're all falling for!” Munson yelled, jolting Steve back into the present.  “I bet none of you even enjoy it!” 

"Tell that to all the girls Steve’s dated!” One of the younger basketball guys hollered, prompting a wave of laughter from the rest of the cafeteria. “They seem to enjoy it plenty!”

Steve couldn’t see who had said it, and should have felt the normal wave of smug warmth that the team had his back.  

Except his team had already proven they didn’t. 

Were in fact, siding more and more with Hargrove, just as Tommy was. 

They were rapidly approaching a watershed moment. Steve could feel it, the same way he’d always been able to tell when a crowd was about to turn.

He was losing, but was still on top of Hawkins social spaces enough, had caught it early enough, that he could turn everyone’s favor--if he wanted. 

Emphasis on ‘if.’ 

Munson spun to face his table, hair whipping to smack him in the face. The guy had clearly been trying to grow it out, but right now he looked like one of those poodles Carol's mom loved so much. 

So said Carol, anyway. 

"You sure about that?" Munson challenged, a crazed grin breaking across his face. "Rumor has it King Steve lost his groove ever since Wheeler dumped him!" 

Steve grimaced, though he was secretly thankful Munson went with "dumped" instead of "cheated on" (or any of the other vile words Billy had flung around, spreading across the school in the sick, crawling way rumors moved. 

Hargrove had been positively brutal about the whole Jonathan and Nancy thing, and the only reason he wasn't here now to spin this whole situation against Steve was because the guy always vanished at lunch.)

Tommy's face morphed into an affronted snarl, hands slapping down on the table. He turned expectantly to Steve, waiting for "The King" to get up and "handle" Munson.

Like Steve even cared about this dumb high school shit anymore. 

It took him a moment to realize Steve wasn’t planning on doing anything. Was in fact, going to remain perfectly quiet, other than an eyeroll and half-assed middle finger in Munson’s direction. 

Tommy let out a disgusted scoff in his direction and then decided to handle things himself. 

(Like that had ever been a good idea.)

“Shut up, Freak. The only game you have is in the prison showers.” He snapped, half rising from the table. “Isn’t that why you keep your hair long? So all the boys will actually fuck you?!” 

Whistles and yells lit the air, though Steve didn’t miss how the girls at the table looked taken aback at the sheer vitriol in Tommy’s voice. 

Even Carol looked startled, eyes sliding to meet Steve’s as if to confirm she hadn’t just imagined it. 

The three of them had always been good at this kind of mindless high school banter, but this over the top, crude shit? 

It wasn’t Tommy’s style.

It was Hargrove’s.

(That was its own growing issue. 

The way Tommy was gravitating towards Billy. 

How Carol kept expecting Steve to act like he used to. 

That she blamed his “outbursts” on Nancy, snidely mentioning that Steve had better have learned his lesson about “changing his personality for pussy.” 

Even now Steve knew they were only defending him because Munson was the one saying it.) 

“I didn’t realize Harrington still had his attack dog!” 

Munson put a hand against his heart as though injured, staggering dramatically backwards. 

“I thought you were too busy putting your tongue up Hargrove’s ass to bark at people!” 

Tommy immediately fired back, letting loose an uninspired string of curse words and something about Eddie being queer again. Steve didn’t hear the specifics--didn’t care to hear it, even as things started to spiral out of control. 

All he wanted to do was go home. 

Ideally before Billy got back from lunch and decided to make a spectacle himself, because Steve could feel that coming just as he could everything else. 

He was running out of time to come up with an excuse to get out of here without making a production out of it, and Munson wasn’t someone he wanted to piss off today, given he’d half hoped to buy weed off the guy before he ditched.

…Which was looking more and more unlikely given Tommy had just screeched some insult that had put Munson’s sights back on Steve. 

“You sure? Cause Harrington looks like he’s just gonna sit there and take it, just like he takes everything Hargrove and Wheeler and anyone else throws at him.”

He leered, leaning forward as if to see into Steve’s very soul. 

“I don’t know if anyone else has noticed, but our beloved King here hasn’t exactly been defending his crown. If anything, he’s abandoned it.” 

The world stopped. 

This was the first time someone actually called him out on the fact that he often let whatever crap Billy spewed go. That Nancy and him had a few awkward encounters publicly, with at least one of them starting a rumor that she’d told Steve to fuck off. 

(She hadn’t of course, but Carol had stopped running damage control, and Steve was feeling the effects of her ire.) 

Silence echoed, and Steve realized with a dawning sort of horror, that Munson was waiting for a response from him. 

Just as the entire cafeteria was. 

The catalyst was here, brought on early by one Edward Munson. 

With a startling amount of clarity, Steve realized he was done. 

With his so called friends, with  the girls who’d tried corning him all morning, with Hargrove and just--everything. 

He was over it. 

If Billy wanted the crown so bad he could fucking have it. 

(If Tommy wanted to pretend he was tougher than he was by mimicking the dick, then he could have that too.) 

“This is stupid.” Steve announced, dropping the masks he so carefully wore. The ones he kept having to fix, because the Upside Down and its related demons (human and non) kept taking chunks out of it. 

He stood, feeling the weight of the room press down on him as he faced them all down. 

“Yeah--!” Tommy started to pile on, seeming to think Steve was about to unleash hell, and got the surprise of a lifetime when Steve turned and jammed a finger in his face.

“Shut up.” He snapped. 

Knew instantly he only got away with it by the fact that he’d caught everyone off guard.  

King Steve did a lot of things, but he rarely blew up. 

“This is stupid.” He reiterated, voice booming across the lunch room, “ You wanna fight? Fine, but leave me out of it.”  

“The King doesn’t want to play? Why I never thought we’d see the day!” Munson clucked his tongue, and without missing a beat Steve turned to him. 

 “For someone who is always screaming about nonconformity, you sure are happy to attack anyone who doesn’t do what you want.”

Steve’s voice was loud, but he wasn’t screaming. Wasn’t yelling or throwing his arms around.

He didn’t need to. Had never needed to. 

“I heard you going off on that guy whose lunch you're standing on yesterday, because he wanted to watch the Colts play.” Steve continued, voice cold. “Half of your friends are terrified of you, because you’ll scream at them just like you accuse us of doing--and let’s be real here, Munson, you do it more.”

In a dramatic move that absolutely, 100% came from Dustin and his theatrics, Steve shrugged his letterman jacket off and bunched it into a ball. 

“You might as well crown yourself King, because you’re the exact same as the rest of us. Here--you can start with this.”  

Cocking back an arm, Steve let the jacket fly. Watched with everyone else as it  landed neatly right at Eddie’s feet. 

Shell shocked, Munson’s eyes drifted from Steve down to the letterman jacket and back. They were massive, those stupid eyes of his, but at least it meant Steve could see the realization wash over the guy in real time. 

Steve should have felt smug about it. His past self would have.

Presently? 

He just felt tired. 

“You’re welcome to jam it up your ass.” He finished, before giving his own sarcastic half bow to the room.  

The cafeteria was dead silent. Not a fork was scraped, or a loud piece of chip chewed. All eyes were on Steve, some waiting to see if Eddie would let him have the last word, others just  shocked to see Steve lose his shit in front of them. 

Idiot he was, he tried to rally anyway. 

Even Tommy, who’d partly stood up, hands pressed against the lunch table looked shocked.

“What the fuck Steve!?” He sputtered, and it wasn’t long before half the basketball team was muttering similar remarks. 

They were ignored. 

Whispers ripped across the room when Steve turned on his heel, striding towards the exit and making it clear things were over, but Tommy didn’t give up. 

“Fuck you Harrington!” He hurled at his back, Carol now standing and placing a restraining hand on his arm.  “You’re not fucking better than any of us!” 

Steve didn’t even look back. 

"That's my point Tommy." Steve said, loud enough to be heard. "No one is better than anyone else. You lot are all just buying into your own bullshit.” 

Then he was slamming through the doors, and out into the sunlight. 

xXx

He didn’t want to go home.

Not anymore, which was ironic in a way that made Steve’s face screw up in a grimace.  

Here he’d been dying to go to his stupid house all day, and now, after losing his shit and undoubtedly, the last of his social standing, he just didn’t feel like being by himself.

All alone, in a house too big for him, full of nothing but dark corners and a phone that never rang. 

So instead, he wandered, reminiscing on how Valentine's Day used to be his favorite day of the year. 

Steve loved the gesture of it all--the romance, the wooing. The butterflies floating in one's stomach, mixing with fear of rejection and a burning kind of hope towards starting something new. 

Of course, Steve also had always had a girl in mind, when he celebrated. Now, after Nancy…

He did not.

It felt weird to go to Skull Rock--the place he himself had made into Hawkins hottest makeout spots. Likewise all the local restaurants were off limits--too many adults knew how much he loved the holiday. 

Steve didn’t want to face that. The expectations, the knowing winks that would slide into uncomfortable frowns. Any possible advice given wouldn’t be appreciated, and the last thing Steve wanted was to get the “everyone has an off season, son” speech. 

So he’d stayed away from his usual haunts. Explored some storefronts instead, the Beamer parked in front of Family Video as he wandered. 

Had an entirely too peaceful two hours, which of course, meant he had to bump into someone.

At least, Steve thought dully, whole body tensing in preparation, it was Munson. 

Not Hargrove, or Tommy, or hell--the children, demanding he help them fight some other fucked up creature the government had accidentally summoned. 

“Hey Harrington.” Munson said, and it took a moment for Steve to realize the guy was embarrassed. “I uh, I need to talk to you.” 

Steve just stared at him.

“If you couldn’t tell from earlier,” He warned, “I’m a little done talking for today.” 

Or any day, for the foreseeable future. 

“Yeah no--I, I got that.  I--okay.” Eddie stopped rocking on his heels, before giving his entire body a shake, like the guys sometimes did while prepping for a game. “Hear me out, and then you can deck me or leave or whatever makes you feel better.” 

“I’m not going to deck you.” Steve said, exasperated and frazzled and not wanting to do this whole song and dance a second time. 

Not that it mattered, because Munson had already launched right into whatever it was he needed to say. 

“There’s this book right? My Uncle got it for me. It’s a fantasy book all about this big battle and there’s these wizards in it, and--” He stopped himself, shaking out his hands.

Like he realized he was rambling and needed the movement to get himself back on track. 

“I always--I guess I saw myself as a Gandalf kinda guy? Like I was this shepherd herding these lost sheep. A person who intimately knew all the dark forces of the world and could be a shield for them. Do not pass and all that.” 

He chuckled, but it was weak, and he killed it almost immediately. 

“...Okay?” Steve said, knowing he was supposed to say something here, even if he had no idea what. 

Maybe something about how Gandalf the Grey wasn’t exactly a shepard given he’d led the hobbits straight into Mordor, but saying that meant admitting Steve knew what Lord of the Rings was, which wasn’t a conversation he felt like getting into. 

Particularly not because he’d only read the damn things after losing a bet to Dustin and Mike both. 

Munson nodded, as if acknowledgement was all he needed. 

 “I thought that’s what I was doing. I wasn’t and I didn’t realize I wasn’t until you pointed it out. You shouldn’t have had to point it out. You shouldn’t have had to say any of what you did.” He rushed to add, oddly sincere. 

"Is this…" Steve might be confused but catching on, an uptick at the corners of his mouth as the tiniest spark of amusement leaked through. "an apology? Are you trying to apologize right now?"

Eddie groaned, flinging his head back. "No!” 

Then immediately; 

“Actually yes, but--”  

Which caught Steve off guard enough that he laughed, and had to hide it with a cough. 

“I am sorry, man. I shouldn’t have said that shit about you, especially not about you and Wheeler. It's more than that though.” Munson swallowed, before squaring his shoulders. “It’s that you were right." 

“I was right?” Steve repeated dumbly, because fuck, he couldn’t believe it either. 

Not that Munson heard him. Eddie always had been hard to stop once he started, and Steve had been in enough classes with the guy to know the train had left the station. 

"I did yell at Jeff because he wanted to watch that stupid football game.” He began, and Steve got a front row seat to watch as one Eddie Munson word vomited his way through a myriad of emotions. 

“I fuckin’ lost it on Grant because he missed band practice to drive his sister to some thing. Gareth looked like I was going to hit him when I asked if I had really been that bad--same exact look he gave Hagan and those other assholes that cornered him in the bathroom two weeks ago!” 

“Tommy did what?” 

Steve was promptly ignored. 

(Or more likely, Eddie simply didn’t hear him, too lost in his own voice to realize Steve had said something.) 

There were a lot of mentions of the Gandalf guy. Where Eddie thought he’d gone wrong, and even something about a glowing eye thing that had Steve a little concerned until he realized Munson was talking about Sauron (and also made Steve realize that he’d been pronouncing Sauron in his head wrong, oops.) 

“I called up this friend of mine who graduated. She’s always been no nonsense, so I asked her for her advice.” Munson said, finally seeming to slow down a little. “She told me I might as well eat my own doctrine because I sure wasn’t living by it, and that if I wanted to fix it then I should start by apologizing. To everyone but--to you, first.” 

Eddie took a step back, winging out his hands as if to present himself. 

“So here I am. Apologizing.” 

A pause wherein neither of them did a thing, which caused him to awkwardly add; “To uh, you. Harrington.” 

“Yeah I got that.” Steve said, because what else was he supposed to do here? “Good for you? I guess?”

“Most people either forgive a guy or tell him to fuck off.”  Munson pouted, and mimicked like he was kicking at a rock. 

It made Steve want to laugh again, though he shoved the urge down. 

“Someone once told me,” He said instead, speaking slowly to make damn sure he didn’t let slip this piece of advice came from a middle schooler. “that apologies without actions don’t really mean anything. They’re a start--they let people know you’re aware you screwed up, but no one’s going to trust you if you don’t follow through. So I can forgive you, but I think you’re better off doing this with one of your friends.” 

Someone who would hug it out, or at least tell Eddie how he could be better, at least. 

Rather than argue, Munson just titled his head back, eyes to the sky. Like he was really thinking on the words, before giving a sort of accepting sounding noise.  

“Trying too.” Steve admitted with a sigh. 

“That’s what you’ve been doing, isn’t it?” He asked, head coming back down so he could stare at Steve.

“The thing in the cafeteria was a good start.” 

“Yeah?” 

Eddie grinned. 

“Yeah. Don’t think Hagan’s gonna see it the same way though.” 

“We were falling out anyway.” Steve admitted, and hated how easy it was to say.

That they really were just going through the motions of friendship. Had been, ever since Jonathan had punched Steve in the face. 

“Think you lost more than just him as a friend, to be honest.”  

“Pro tip about the actions thing, Munson?” Steve said with a snort, once again unsure of where this conversation was going, “Nice people don’t typically point out when someone’s turned into a social pariah.” 

“No, I get that. Say,” Eddie’s grin had grown, which Steve would have taken poorly except he invaded Steve’s space with a goofy little hop. “I think you might be in need of some new ones!” 

“New…friends?” Steve hesitated, very unsure of what was happening. 

Munson promptly stuck his hand out. “Yup! So--hello, my name is Eddie Munson, and I am here to apply for the position as your friend!” 

Steve snorted, but the harshness of it was taken away by the grin on his face. 

He took Eddie’s hand, noting how doing so made the older teen’s smile widen. 

“Nice to meet you Eddie, I’m Steve.” 

Excited, Eddie waived their arms up and down, with far more enthusiasm than the gesture required. 

“How about we cement our new friendship by renting a truly terrible horror movie and drowning our woes with my other good friend, Mary Jane?” 

Then he waggled his eyebrows, like that was something scandalous. 

“Tempting me along with weed, huh?” Steve mused back, sticking his hands in his pockets once Eddie let him go. “Guess you’re a little like Gandalf the Gray after all. Just don’t send me on any missions.” 

“Steve Harrington.” Eddie gaped, pure delight spreading across his face. “Have you read Lord of the Rings!?” 

He got a shrug and a sly; “Maybe.” in response. 

It was worth the barrage of questions, even if the rapid fire pace of them nearly gave Steve a headache.

(Just as it was worth it several months later, when Steve was comfortable enough to instigate wrestling matches with Eddie over the dumbest of things. 

One particularly semi-drunk tussle over the remote led to an interesting discovery when Eddie popped a boner, and then frantically tried to escape when it brushed against Steve’s leg. 

 Instead of panicking--or letting Eddie bolt in his panic, Steve just dropped his whole weight down, effectively pinning the slimmer man to the floor. 

“Steve.”

Eddie said it so quietly he almost didn’t hear it, the word filled with desperation.

The kind of tone someone whispered a prayer in, a sort of pleading that Eddie did better with his eyes than his voice. Or would have, given his own were firmly scrunched closed the second he realized he’d been caught out. 

Except--

“Not right now I’m thinking.”  Steve told him absently. 

Which he was. Speed thinking even, if that was a thing. 

Because if two plus two equaled four (which it did) then feeling the exact same, fluttering excitement about Eddie’s boner as Steve had Nancy’s breasts, equaled…

“The fuck? Steve--”

Steve shushed him. 

That pulled a frustrated, embarrassed groan from Eddie that went directly to Steve’s own dick, not that it needed much help waking up. 

“I think I’m having one of those crisis’s Robin is always accusing the basketball team of having.” Steve informed Eddie dutifully, the dots done connecting.

Eddie, still refusing to open his eyes, snorted. 

“Whatever man. Can you at least be decent and hurry up with the beating? This is embarrassing enough.” 

“I’m not going to beat you up.” Steve said, thankful that his brain managed not to add some shitty comment about the entire town being awash in rumors of Eddie’s sexuality. That he’d confirmed it here wasn’t exactly a surprise. 

“I’m going to try something. If you don’t like it, let me know.” Streve added, before screwing up his courage and leaning down.

That of course, got Eddie to open his eyes.

“Wha--” He managed, before Steve’s lips were on his. 

For one single, blissful moment, Eddie Munson’s mouth was too busy to talk. 

“Yeah?” Eddie said, voice wrecked, and oh, Steve liked that. 

“Huh.” Steve muttered, when they broke for air. “Well that’s new.”

Liked the way Eddie looked at him more, hesitant, but with heat in his gaze. 

Steve had always been good about knowing what to do with heat. 

He leaned back down, pecking lightly at Eddie’s lips, and was delighted to find Eddie not only let him, but kissed back. 

“Not bad, Munson, but I think I could give you a few pointers.” Steve muttered, nose ghosting alongside Eddie’s. “Let me show you…” 

One boyfriend, several weeks, and another interdimensional monster later, Steve found himself socked in the arm by none other than his coworker, Robin Buckley. 

In her defense, she’d confessed her love for Tammy Thompson, still somewhat drugged on the Starcourt bathroom floor, only for Steve to tease her that at least his boyfriend could actually sing. 

“God you and Eddie Munson.” She muttered after, smile on her face. “How did that happen?” 

Steve knocked his shoe into hers, returning the grin unabashedly. 

“So remember last Valentines Day?” Steve started, all too eager to finally tell someone who understood about the best thing to ever happen to him. 

Robin of course, would soon also be ranked in that same chart, but Eddie didn’t need to know that. ) 

#DADDYS BACK #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #pre steddie to steddie #0o0 fanfics #be gentle with me I JUST got my computer back lmao #this was a warmup I finished out #Ive been writing at work on my lunches #yes I have been working on adopt a jock #and the third part of the holiday hellfire fic #I think I stared at that steddisy one once #maybe #IDK this whole ass month has been a blurr

[bratzforchris]

Five Love Languages, M. Sturniolo

Summary: The five love languages look a little different for Matt and his girlfriend, but that's always okay<3

Pairing: Matt x neurodivergent fem!reader

Warnings: Mentions of autistic burnout, this is entirely self indulgent

Word Count: 2.9k

A/N: I think we need more representation around here, especially for different neurotypes and disabilities <3 This fic is based off of this Instagram post :) I am autistic and have ADHD, and this was so much fun to write--if you'd like to see the same thing but for another boy, drop a request in my inbox!

Infodumping༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

“Matt, come here! Now!” You squealed from your shared bedroom, your joy infectious as you bounced up and down on the bed happily. 

You could hear the sound of your boyfriend running up the stairs, followed by him bursting through the door, slightly out of breath. “What’s up, honey?” he asked with a smile, noting your happy stims and luminous grin. 

“Taylor’s going on tour!” You giggled, shaking your hands in small fists as a way to release all the happy, all-consuming energy that came with engaging in a special interest. 

“Oh really?” Matt asked genuinely, sitting beside you on the bed. “Tell me more, hun!” he encouraged you, kissing your cheek gently so as not to get in the way of your movements. 

“It’s going to be a tour where she goes through every era,” You smiled, happily bouncing on the bed. “We have to go.”

“We will,” Matt rubbed your knee softly. “As many dates as you want.”

“Really?” Your eyes lit up at the thought of getting to experience your special interest with your favorite person. 

“Really, honey. What album are you most excited to hear?”

Matt looked at you kindly, his eyes shining with love. He absolutely loved watching how excited you got over your special interests. You had been a huge Taylor Swift fan for over ten years now, and the brunette wished that he could bottle up your happiness whenever you engaged with her music. He would almost equate your joy to that of sunshine, baby animals, and glitter. Where some people thought you were “just a fangirl” or “too obsessed”, Matt loved listening when you infodumped about Taylor Swift. The sheer dedication someone could have to a singular topic was beyond impressive and adorable to him. 

“That’s really hard, Matt,” You whined playfully, still happily stimming and flapping your hands. “I really like Lover a lot because it reminds me of you, but I also want to hear reputation because it’s just so iconic. Like the whole snake aesthetic after the Kim and Kayne thing was just perfect. But then I also love folklore because of the love triangle thing and also because it’s just so experimental. Did you know that there was only eleven months between Lover and folklore?” You asked your boyfriend, becoming more animated as you spoke. 

“I didn’t know that!” Matt responded, clearly very invested in the conversation. “Here hun, why don’t you play with this instead? I don’t want you to hurt your wrists, sweetie.” he explained softly, passing you a fidget toy that was laying on your nightstand.

You blushed as you took the toy from him, not even realizing just how bad your wrists were hurting. “You’re the best boyfriend ever, do you know that?” You asked him, slowly crawling across the bed and into his lap. 

“I think I had an idea or two.” Matt smirked. 

You began to play with the fidget toy with one hand and Matt’s hair with the other. You still felt the need to stim, your nervous system buzzing with happiness. Whenever you felt the need to fidget, you loved to mess with your boyfriend’s hair, and he always let you. The way his soft, brown curls slid through your fingers and the way his natural highlights hit the light gave you such good sensory feelings. 

“Thank you for listening to me…I know it’s a lot sometimes.” You whispered shyly, hiding your face against his hoodie. 

Matt rubbed circles on your back as you played with his hair. “I love listening to you talk Taylor, baby. I think it’s interesting.” he grinned. 

“You do?”

“I do,” he booped your nose. “I think it’s cute too.”

“Do you think she’s gonna go era by era?” You asked, still too excited to focus on much else besides your special interest. “I hope so. That would be so much fun.”

“You’re gonna have to teach me everything,” Matt giggled. “I can’t be one of those boyfriends who goes and looks miserable.”

You squealed, untangling your hands from his hair and planting a kiss on his lips. “Oh hun, you’re gonna be the most educated boy in the stadium. You’ll know more Taylor lore than Taylor

Parallel Play ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

You sighed happily, pulling your blanket closer around yourself and taking a sip of your coffee. Thankfully, Matt had a completely free day with nothing to film, which meant you could just enjoy each other’s company. These days were few and far between, but you treasured every one because of how unmasked and free they allowed you to be. 

You sat your mug down on the coffee table and picked up the yarn and crochet hook you had set out earlier. Matt sat at the other end of the couch, feet in your lap as he focused intently on his book. You felt your heart swell with love as you took a peek at the cover, and noted that it was a memoir about understanding and aiding your partner in their unmasking journey.

Matt was by far the best boyfriend you had ever had when it came to accepting and loving you, neurodivergence and all. Finding a man who didn’t fetishize or infantilize being an autistic woman was hard, but the brunette was a diamond in the rough. Like right now for example, when he was spending his Saturday morning that he had off learning about how to understand the way your brain worked.

You blushed and picked up your crocheting, beginning to work on the blanket you had started earlier in the week. You had picked a chenille yarn in pretty pastel colors, and the rainbow of yarn, as well as its soft feel made you smile. You began to crochet, taking a peek at Matt every so often. Occasionally, your boyfriend would look up at the same time and catch your eye, sending you a soft smile before going back to reading. 

The silence wasn’t awkward, nor was it uncomfortable. Matt had a way of making you feel loved and safe, even without speaking the words out loud. Having grown up with his own mental health struggles around anxiety, your boyfriend understood the importance of “being alone together” and just existing in each other's orbit, without the need for words. 

“Thank you.” You whispered shyly after about thirty minutes of silence. 

“For what?” Matt asked you, closing the book and setting it on the pillow next to him. 

You sat down your craft as well and moved to snuggle into his arms, angling yourself so that you could hear the beat of his heart. “For just letting me be me.”

The brunette buried his nose in your hair, speaking softly against his head. “I love you.”

“You just let me be and we can do our own things without feeling awkward or weird,” You explained. “It’s comforting…and it makes me fall more in love with you.” You giggled softly, a blush creeping up your neck.

Matt held you closer to his body, arms wrapped around you protectively. “You’re perfect, baby. All of you.”

As you snuggled further into his hold, the two of you fell into companionable silence again, enjoying each other’s company. It really was the little moments like these that made you realize just how lucky you were to be in such an accepting, caring relationship. 

Support Swapping ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

Over the past year of dating Matt, you had fallen into a wonderful routine with your boyfriend, one that allowed you to distribute your spoons more easily and allowed him a slight break from his anxiety, especially socially. 

“Support Swapping” as you two called it was great help and was arguably one of the best parts of your relationship. Being autistic and having ADHD, you tended to struggle with executive functioning, always focusing on the wrong things instead of doing what you needed to maintain a healthy lifestyle. If you were hyperfixated on something, your mind could block out all reminders and signals from your body to eat, drink, rest, and use the bathroom. Once you finally realized how depleted you were, it would inevitably lead to an autistic meltdown because of the overwhelming sensory urges of hunger, exhaustion, and thirst. 

Matt, on the other hand, oftentimes struggled with parts of his job that came along with being a content creator. As much as he loved being in front of the camera and giving the fans funny content, he despised writing and sending emails. Nick could edit out anything that made him seem a little too weird or awkward; he couldn’t control how the recipient would take his email. You however, had loved writing ever since you were a little girl and actually took great pride in being able to communicate effectively through the written word. 

When you had voiced these concerns with each other and how they made both of you feel emotionally, it was clear there was only one option, and that was to support each other, just like you were on this particular day. It was nearing dinnertime by this point, the sun setting over the LA skyline as you tapped at the computer in Matt’s office. You had been hunched over the computer all day, filling out paperwork and emails for collabs that Matt had to do. You typed up all the notes for him, pasting them into a document, where he could then sign his name and send them off. Between your love of the written word and routine, writing the same thing over and over again was like a weird therapy for you. 

“Sweetheart?” You heard a soft knock at the door before Matt entered the room. 

“One sec.” You hummed, eyes still trained on the screen. “I’m almost done.”

“Babe,” Matt spun you around in the office chair so that you were facing him. “I love you and I adore you for doing this for me, but it’s almost seven. Time for dinner.” he chuckled, planting a kiss on your lips. 

“Oh,” You blushed, not realizing how much time had gone by. Just then, your stomach rumbled, making Matt give you a knowing look. “This is why we help each other and remind each other.” You snorted, facepalming yourself softly. 

Matt kissed your forehead gently, helping you out of the chair and guiding you towards the kitchen with a soft hand on the small of your back. Before you two left the office, though, he sneakily closed out your computer, making sure you would spend the rest of the evening resting. Your heart swelled when you walked into the kitchen and saw your and Matt’s small dining table completely laid with dinner and drinks. 

“You didn’t.” You smiled, turning towards your boyfriend. 

“I did,” Matt picked you up and kissed you as you wrapped your legs around his waist. “I know how distracted you can get when you’re working, sweetheart.”

You blushed as Matt sat you down at the table, knowing he was absolutely right. “You take care of me so well.” 

Matt rubbed your knuckles softly as he sat down in his own chair. “That’s what a partnership is for,” he smiled, the adorable crinkles around his eyes that you loved oh-so-much on full display. “We take care of each other.”

"Please Crush My Soul Back Into My Body" ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

You sighed, growing restless as you shifted around in the backseat of the van. The triplets were filming their weekly Friday car video, and you had decided to join on this particular day. You absolutely loved playing Over/Under, but the effects of the evening were beginning to wear on you. Between Chris frequently changing topics to almost anything that wasn’t Over/Under and Nick’s yelling, you were starting to become overstimulated. 

You shifted, trying to pull your hoodie off since it was starting to irritate you, only to loudly smack your arm on the hard, plastic door of the car. All three boys looked your way, making your cheeks burn with embarrassment. 

“Are you okay?” Matt asked with a chuckle, but his eyes held a concerned look. 

“Mhm,” You nodded, trying not to let your frustration show. “Just a little too hot.”

“We should finish up. Nick’s second timer has already gone off.” Matt turned in his seat and stretched, trying to discreetly end the video. 

Matt knew you almost as well, if not better than you knew yourself, and he could tell that you weren’t super comfortable, despite your best efforts to hide it. Even he had to admit that Chris’s frequent change of topics and Nick’s yelling was getting to be a lot, so he couldn’t even imagine how you were feeling. Luckily, his brothers seemed to take the hint, and the boys swiftly ended the video, with you whispering a little ‘bye’ in the background. 

As your boyfriend began to try towards the triplets' LA home, you shoved your earbuds into your ears, closing your eyes and leaning your head against the window. You were overstimulated and exhausted, and the next person to add to sensory overload was going to catch it if you didn’t try to calm yourself. You were so caught up in the awful feelings taking over your body and your anxiety that you didn't even notice that Matt had pulled into the garage and Nick and Chris had vacated the car until your boyfriend turned in his seat, patting your knee. 

“You okay, baby?” he asked softly. 

“No…” You mumbled, trying not to choke on tears. “Too much.”

Matt understood what you meant and gently helped you out of the car and into the house without another word. On the way to your shared bedroom, he quietly shushed Nick and Chris, mumbling a little ‘overstimulated’. Both brothers were aware of you being autistic and immediately piped down, silently feeling terrible for you. 

Your boyfriend sat you down on the edge of the bed, handing you a fidget toy from off your nightstand. Despite the discomfort you were experiencing, you felt your heart swell as you watched Matt gently take off your socks and shoes, before standing up and looking at you. 

“Do you want your headphones?” he asked you in sign language. 

You could’ve cried right then and there because of your sheer love for Matt. Ever since you two had started dating and you had explained that you used ASL to communicate when you were feeling overstimulated, the brunette had taken it upon himself to learn as much of the language as possible. He was still rather beginner level, but it was the thought behind it that made you want to squeeze him and pepper his face with kisses. 

You nodded to his question, and Matt swiftly replaced your earbuds with better quality, noise canceling headphones. You sighed softly at the relief, standing up and wrapping your arms around your boyfriend's waist. “Thank you,” You signed against his chest. “I love you.”

Matt hugged you back gently, almost like he was scared you would break. “Pajamas?” he asked again. 

You nodded once more, and your boyfriend gently helped you into soft, sensory approved pajama pants and one of his faded, soft shirts. You quietly got curled up under your weighted blanket as Matt bustled around the room, getting himself ready for bed, but the pressure wasn’t enough. You needed something more. As your boyfriend crawled into bed, you rolled over onto your side, tapping his shoulder gently. 

“Will you lay on me?” You signed. 

Matt smiled, kissing your forehead gently. He grabbed the remote and turned on your comfort show on the television, before laying his head softly on your stomach. You smiled and sighed contently at the feeling, running your fingers through his soft, brown curls. That was one of your favorite stims, and the feeling of Matt’s pressure, combined with stimming and noise canceling headphones, was slowly calming you down. 

Over the hour that followed, Matt softly laid more and more of his body weight over top of you. He knew that deep pressure therapy helped you regulate your nervous system, especially when you were overstimulated. If some extra love and cuddles would help, he wasn’t going to be the one to complain. Sure enough, by the time he looked up at you, you were fast asleep, a happy little smile on your lips. 

Penguin Pebbling ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

Matt looked over at you from his position on the couch as you giggled, happily kicking your feet. “What’s so funny?” “Check your Tiktok.” You laughed, a happy little smile taking up residence on your face as you stimmed. 

Your boyfriend smiled at whatever antics you had going on, migrating to his phone. You let out a little giggle as you watched Matt’s facial expressions change, from that of confusion, to that of happiness. 

“You really sent me one hundred and fifty different cat videos?” he asked, though his tone was playful. 

“They reminded me of you,” You whined, throwing a stuffed animal at him. “You’re the one who always sends people images of sleeping kittens and says ‘that’s me’.”

Matt chuckled as he sat watching every single video. He knew how important sharing was to you, especially when it had to do with the people you cared about. “Penguin pebbling” as it was called, was the act of unconventional gift giving as a sign of affection. Your boyfriend absolutely loved when you did this, because it was pure love. It wasn’t big, expensive gifts or luxury vacations. It was the smallest, most accessible thing in the world, yet you took time out of your day to do it. 

“Have I ever told you I love you?” the brunette asked, sliding onto the floor beside you and kissing your cheek. 

“Maybe once or twice.” You grinned. 

tags ♡: @jake-and-johnnies-slut @chrissfavwh3re @suyqa @mbsbaby @herxyz @lovingchrissposts @caffeinatedscorpio @bunny-cotton @crazychrisl0v3r @sturnioloxlver @whicked-hazlatwhore @blahbel668 @sturncakez @junnniee @biggesthat3r @sturniolowhore @mggcult @emmagirouard @athaliahxoxo @bitchydragonparadise @ilydeaky @soggyslugg169 @not-phone-guy @books0fever @stingerayyy2 @sunsetsturniolos @mimi-luvzyu @mayhem-72 @faygo-frog @oobleoob @aemrsy @billsslutt

note ♡: if you'd like to be added to my taglist, click here <3

#matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo #matthew sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo fanfic #matthew sturniolo imagine #matthew bernard sturniolo #matthew sturniolo x reader #the sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo imagines #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo #christopher owen sturniolo #chris sturniolo smut #sturniolo #sturniolo triplets smut #sturniolo fanfic #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets x reader #sturniolo triplets fanfic

[pixiemunsons]

baby, baby, baby (sh)

steve's always discovering new things about himself, usually with your help

breeding kink!!! i can't state enough if this isn't ur thing click off because that's all it is. unprotected sex, p in v (f! reader), fingering, discussion of babies and breeding, hint of jancy, rough-ish sex, bit of misogyny surrounding birth control (reader goes on the pill.) one use of the word daddy during sex but not rly daddy kink. no use of y/n, no spoilers, no reader description. steve’s into cringy pet names i don’t make the rules (2.2k words)

a/n; a really lovely reader made it clear to me that some of my language wasn’t POC or plus size friendly. this absolutely wasn’t my intention and i’ve edited this language out to ensure that this is a fic for anyone, as intended. pls let me know if i do make any mistakes like this - being exclusive is absolutely not something i ever intend to be. thank you angels<3

it had started growing in him one day, and he hadn’t felt the end of it since.

a sort of weird, deep urge he felt in his bones, gnawing at him from the inside out and churning his brain and boiling his guts. if he hadn’t known better, he might have called it animalistic. neanderthal. his most base instinct. for months, he hadn’t been able to think about anything else. twisting his mind and driving him crazy.

steve harrington wanted to fuck you full of his babies.

you hadn’t even known you were doing it. how could you? you knew he wanted kids, and a lot of them, but it felt miles off in your mind. when he told you about you and the six kiddos and the camper van, you thought he meant five, maybe even ten years off. so you’d thought nothing of it when your friend liz had asked to come over for a coffee with her almost brand-new baby and you’d spent the afternoon playing with her in front of steve. 

he’d seemed a bit more tense than usual, and you thought maybe he was uncomfortable around the baby. you knew he had a relatively small, relatively disconnected family, and the last kid born was more than ten years ago, so he’d never really even been around infants. he seemed to be watching intently as you picked her up, smoothing her tufts of hair back and nuzzling your nose into her hair to absorb her uniquely baby smell. you’d never brought it up though, never thinking much of it. until it started happening more.

you’d see a toddler sticking their tongue out at the grocery store and stick yours back before steve would half drag you away by the arm. you’d mention your hairdresser’s imminent due date, and he’d find a way to change the topic. hell, you’d cooed over the baby in look who’s talking one time and he’d switched the channels, claiming he hated john travolta even though you’d watched saturday night fever with him at least four times. you were starting to get confused. the two of you had talked about kids; why was it becoming such a problem now?

───

‘i got on the pill, y’don’t have to bother with a condom.’

steve stopped stock still. in seven years, he’d never been able to go without. shitty blue state indiana had made contraception for unmarried women a fucking nightmare, and while he really wanted to marry you eventually, he wasn’t about to do it just so he could go raw. steve’d half-hoped he wouldn’t be able to until you were married; he didn’t know what he was capable of if you let him do that to you. but you’d sprung it on him. while you were naked under him and he was halfway to the bedside table, you’d laid a small hand on his arm and looked up at him with that expression on your face he loved so much and stuck out your bottom lip. he’d never said no to you before. how could he ever start now?

‘a-are you sure? y’know i don’t mind, sweetness, i’m happy to wear one.’ he was frowning now, deep lines etching the ordinarily soft skin of his forehead, and you reached a hand up to smooth out the creases.

‘kinda thought you’d be a bit more excited than this, honey.’ you were half-smiling, half-worried, head tilted as you observed steve. you’d known him for fifteen years, been dating him almost half as long. knew him like the back of your hand, knew when he was worried about something, when something was playing on his mind and he just couldn’t shrug it off. he shook his head vehemently, stroking your face with a shaky hand.

’s’not that, babe. i’m really excited, like, really excited. didn’t think we’d be able to do this until- well…’ he trailed off, leaning down to kiss your bare shoulder in a feeble attempt to hide his reddening face from your eyesight.

you sat up a little then, peering down at him. the pill wasn’t even something you’d thought much of until nancy had told you all about it, hush hush over a coffee.

‘it’s changed my life, honestly. everything’s more… regular, and well, you know…’ you’d raised your eyebrows at her to hasten her explanation and she’d blushed bright red and hidden behind her hair when she whispered ‘jonathan loves being able to, like… y’know, do it inside. everything’s so much better in the bedroom.’ 

you’d left your lunch date hot under the collar, and almost sprinted straight to your family doctor. the idea of being so intimate, so close to steve for the first time ever without having to worry about the consequences excited you.

‘until what, stevie? we can carry on using a condom if you w-‘ steve’s eyes shot open, shaking his head wildly until his hair bounced.

‘no! no, i just.’ he cleared his throat, itching the back of his neck nervously.

‘i’m worried if we do it without, i won’t be able to hold back. the idea of doing that to you, of cumming inside you… it makes me so hard i can’t think.’

his confession left your mouth open and mind whirring, thinking back to the last few months and the way he’d been acting around you and babies and all of a sudden, everything clicked.

‘stevie,’ you cooed, smirking at the expression on his face. ‘you wanna get me pregnant, don’t you?’

a guttural groan broke free from his throat and he lunged forward like a man possessed, capturing your lips with a ferocious heat that had you moaning into his mouth. large, rough hands gripped your stomach, your hips, and squeezed so tight you groaned. steve took his chance, tongue surging into your mouth and licking the top of your mouth, the back of your teeth. he pushed himself up so he was kneeling above you, manhandling you up so you were facing him, knees touching.

‘y’can’t say that to me, baby,’ he looked frantic, still kissing you between words. ‘god, you’re so… so fuckin’… h christ, can’t believe you said that.’ your mind was reeling, all consumed with the idea of it. 

‘i’d be lying if i said the thought of trying for a baby with you wasn’t on my mind recently, stevie.’ you looked up at him, eyelashes fluttering, and his fingers dug into your flesh so hard you were sure there’d be bruises the next morning. ‘when liz came over with the baby, y’have no idea how much i wished she was ours.’

steve was totally fucked.

he couldn’t get his breathing under control listening to talking about carrying his babies, and his head was swimming in pictures; you, lying on the beach in a bikini with a cute bump. lying on your front cautiously while steve rubbed your tired back muscles. tying your shoes for you ‘cuz you couldn’t reach over your swollen tummy. most of all though, he couldn’t stop imagining the sight of his cum seeping out from your pretty little pussy, your hips propped up on a pillow, hoping it’d take.

‘think we should?’ he spoke before he could even think about it, and he almost apologised. almost. because when he looked down at your face, instead of seeing shock or disgust, you were fucking smirking up at him. a manicured nail traced its way up through his chest hair, the other hand gripping the back of his neck, and steve felt lightheaded.

‘you gotta be off the pill at least a week before it stops working, you know.’ you cocked your head to the side. ‘doesn’t mean we can’t start practising though.’

steve helped you onto your knees so you were face down, ass up. his favourite, especially when he wanted to go a bit harder, a bit rougher, and the anticipation sent shivers down your spine. behind you, the bed shifted, and the distinctive sound of elastic cracking skin rang out from behind you as steve shed his boxers, the final (and only) barrier left between the two of you.

‘you want me to lube up, baby? i’d ask you to do it with your mouth, but i think i’d bust.’ you laughed together and he grabbed your left hand, intertwining your fingers. no matter what, steve never made you doubt how much he loved you, and small moments of intimacy like this always made you wanna cry every time.

‘just a bit, babe, ‘m ready for you,’ you whined your hips back into him, ass brushing his hairy thighs, and he groaned at the trail of slick you left against his hot skin. reaching into the drawer and, for the first time, straight past the open box of johnnies, steve grabbed the half-empty bottle of lube that lived there. you could hear him squirting it into his hand, slathering it all over his thick cock, all the while muttering away almost mindlessly.

‘you’re gonna be such a good mommy, honey, s’ good for me and our baby. so full of our children, so beautiful and round for me, gonna look after you. gonna be the most gorgeous little family, sweetness.’ he reached down, pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

‘baby, i really need to just fuck you full,’ he whispered, and you looked over your shoulder at him. there was an almost feral gleam in his eyes, and you swallowed thickly. he pushed two long fingers into you, whining when he found you were already soaking wet and more than ready to take him. you keened your hips back again, pleading, pretty eyelashes fluttering.

‘take me, steve.’

he was up to the base by the time you’d taken a breath, heavy balls resting at the curve of your thighs and ass, and the sensation was like nothing either of you had known before. you could feel every ridge, every vein pumping through his cock, and he felt so warm in you it could have almost been too much. steve had never felt anything so hot, so tight, so unbelievably natural in his whole life, and he had to stop still as soon as he was balls deep lest he cum in seconds. 

‘oh fuck,’ he was groaning behind you, legs trapping the bottom half of your body to the bed in an attempt to stop you squirming. ‘this is- jesus christ, this is something else, baby.’ under him, you were desperately trying not to rock your hips back into steve’s. he was so heavy and hard inside you, twitching and leaking precum already and he hadn’t even moved, hadn’t even started to fill you up.

steve’s hips pulled back slowly, leaving just the head still wrapped in you, before plunging back in and starting up a brutal pace. his hands were gripping at your pelvis and your head was buried in the pillow at the head of your bed, fingers reaching behind you to intertwine with his own against the fat of your hips. he thrust particularly hard into one spot that had your mind reeling, almost screaming his name into the pillow and pulling forward from the pleasure of it all. steve chased you, the front of his thighs almost stuck to the back of yours with sweat. by now, he was barely even pulling out, just chasing his own thrusts deep within you as he panted above you, sloppy kisses pressed into the skin at the back of your neck. skilled fingers reached around to your clit, rubbing it in that way only steve ever managed to do it, and your legs felt like jelly under you. if it wasn’t for the way he pressed right up against your hips, you’d be on your front by now, crushed under his weight into the bed.

‘’m really, really close, baby, fuck. c’mon sweetness,’ he was rambling behind you, hips working even quicker to turn you to goo under him, melted into the mattress and taking what he gave you. you could feel it building deep in your stomach, and you just needed something else, something to push you over the edge-

‘cum for me, let’s make me a daddy,’ steve was crying out and you were cumming, thighs clenching and back arching, screams buried into the pillow and teeth clenched so hard your jaw popped. steve wasn’t long behind you; the way you gushed when you came, the vice-like grip on his leaking cock? it was all too much, and for the first time, steve harrington came inside the love of his life, hot and gasping and flashes of you with a baby bump running through his mind. carefully, gently, he pulled out, cock softening against his thigh and then growing half hard again. your pussy was swollen, his cum leaking out of your hole. unthinking, steve reached up to push it back in with two fingers, rubbing your ass with the other hand when you flinched away from the stimulation.

‘sorry, baby, just gotta make sure it takes.’

you rolled onto your back, and he couldn’t help but smile at the way you rolled your eyes at him.

‘told you stevie, gonna be at least a week until i’m all fertile and shit again.’

he flopped on top of you, grinning.

‘i guess we’re gonna have to practise over,’ a kiss to your cheek.

‘and over.’ your shoulder.

‘and over.’ your nose.

‘and over again.’ finally, your lips. ‘i love you.’

#Steve Harrington #Steve Harrington smut #Steve Harrington x reader #Steve Harrington x you #Steve Harrington x f!reader #Steve Harrington x female reader #Steve Harrington imagine #Steve Harrington fluff #Steve Harrington angst #Steve Harrington blurb #Steve Harrington headcanon #Steve stranger things #Steve the hair harrington #stranger things smut #stranger things imagine #stranger things blurb #stranger things angst #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fanfic #Steve Harrington fanfic #Steve Harrington fanfiction #stranger things masterlist #stranger things vol 2 #stranger things s4 #stranger things steve

[prettyboyeddiemunson]

would you write Eddie x reader where he's like, dropping everyone off at night and reader is last, when the kids are gone she takes her bra off because it was definitely hurting her aaaaand Eddie notices that she's got pierced nipples? NO NEED to make it smutty if u don't feel like it, just curious about his reaction? lol thanks <3

reader is 18 in this, and obviously, minors dni!

———————

Another fun evening was had at Hellfire Club, and you & Eddie were ready to wind down at your place. He dropped some of the other members off at home first, and your house was the last stop on his tour. Eddie had been your close friend since you were eight and he was ten, and you did everything together: D&D, drama club at school, drugs, booze, you name it. Every chance you got, the two of you were always together—usually getting into some drug- or booze-induced shenanigans. When you weren’t doing that, you were doing the exact thing you were doing tonight, which was going home to chill out together on the couch or in your room.

You loved being around Eddie, and it far exceeded just friendship for you. The thing was, you had always harbored a little crush on him, from the moment you’d met him all those years ago. In fact, for the last few years, that crush had turned into all-out love. He didn’t know, of course; you would rather gouge your own eyes out with a hot poker than ever tell him and risk losing him.

You & Eddie sat in your living room, with the TV on and drinking beer that Eddie had smuggled into the house. There was a show that neither of you were paying attention to, some kind of weird sitcom that was neither of your tastes. You were sitting close together, as usual, practically cuddling as you mindlessly took in the show and drank. Your parents were upstairs, probably in bed or watching TV themselves, but they didn’t come down to greet you when they heard you return home. Since their car was outside, it told you they probably turned in for the night. That left you & Eddie completely alone, which could be either a good or bad thing, depending on the mood the two of you got into.

Things started off innocently enough. The two of you discussed the new campaign, how your classes were going, what your weekend plans were, all the usual topics. You were digging around your chest almost the entire time, trying to fix the discomfort that your bra was causing. It always annoyed you to wear one, but you had to; without it, your nipple piercings were going to be extremely noticeable, and you couldn’t have that in school. Nothing helped, and short of taking it off, you had no relief whatsoever. But it was becoming ever clearer that removing it is exactly what needed to be done, with no other choices available.

Eddie is in the middle of talking about his favorite part of the campaign when you do it. You unclasp the bra under your shirt, sliding your arms into the sleeves to remove the straps, before pulling it from the bottom of your shirt. Eddie stops talking and watches you closely, his doe eyes wide in surprise as he sees the bra land on the coffee table. His eyes trail back to you, but they don’t find your face again. They are transfixed on your chest, and on the unmistakable impressions of nipple piercings that are pressing against the fabric of your Hellfire Club shirt. He swallows thickly, running a hand over his cheek as he tries so hard to look away. You chuckle, unable to help it, and he turns his gaze with a light blush dusting his cheeks.

“It’s okay if you noticed,” you say. “They’re kinda hard to miss when they aren’t in the bra.”

“I…” he says, swallowing again as he finds your eyes. “I didn’t mean to seem like some kind of fucking perv. I guess I'm just more surprised than anything else. Why didn’t you ever tell me that you got them pierced?”

“I guess I didn’t think it was that big of a deal,” you say, glancing at your chest. “I haven’t had them pierced for long. They’ve healed nicely, but sometimes they’re still a little sore.”

“Well, they seem very….um….” Eddie began, and you could tell that he was clearly flustered. “They seem nice. Probably got someone good to pierce them, huh? I hear those can be really hard to do.”

“Yeah, the guy who pierced them did a good job,” you say, and you can sense a shift in Eddie at the mention of another man. His jaw and fists clench, and he looks to the floor. You laugh, reaching over to run your fingers through his hair. “Aw, what’s the matter, Eddie? Are you jealous that another guy got to see my tits?”

“No,” he says, but he’s lying. You can always tell; after ten years of friendship, it wasn’t as if he could fool you. “I’m not.”

“Mmm hmm,” you say, then teasingly add: “You know, I’ll let you see them, if you want to.”

Eddie nearly chokes on the drink of beer he had just taken, and wipes his mouth on the back of his hand after thumping his chest. “Sorry, but I’m going to need you to repeat that. I need to make sure I heard you correctly.”

“I said,” you repeat, brushing some hair back from his shoulder before ghosting those fingertips over his neck, “you can see the piercings, if you want to.”

“I don’t want it to be weird,” Eddie says, looking at you and leaning closer into your touch. “Will it be weird?”

“Only if you make it weird,” you say, your hand on the back of his neck and tangling into his hair. “It’s just boobs, Eddie. I’m sure you’ve seen your fair share.”

“Well, yeah,” Eddie says with a soft smile. “But these are yours. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying no. As long as you swear this won’t ruin anything between us, or make it awkward.”

“I don’t think it will,” you say, reaching for the hem of your shirt and slowly lifting it. “You can always change your mind before I get it hiked up, though. Tell me if you do, okay?”

He nods quickly, pulling the corner of his lip into his teeth. You keep moving the shirt up little by little, until your breasts are fully exposed to him. Eddie sucks in a breath, his eyes unable to leave them. He took in the shape of them, the way your nipples looked, and how the piercings gleamed in the lamplight of the living room. His breath caught, and he exhaled in the form of a shaky “fuck.” You laugh a little, biting your own lip as you watch him admiring your chest. You can tell that he’s enjoying it, and that whatever worries he had about this being awkward were long gone. In the front of his jeans, you could see the unmistakable outline of a forming erection.

“What do you think?” you ask, smirking.

“They look fantastic,” Eddie says, his eyes still taking in your breasts. “And I guess the piercings are nice, too.”

You laugh a little louder at that, and feel even more boldness coming over you. “Do you wanna touch them? You can, if you want to; I won’t mind.”

Eddie’s eyes flickered to your face, and they widened again. “I can?”

“Sure,” you say, taking one of his hands in your free one. “Here. I’ll show you that I’m not kidding.”

You place his hand over your right breast, and he hisses at the contact with your skin. His lips part, his brown eyes already filling with lust as he kneads experimentally on your skin. You whimper pleasurably under his rough palm, feeling a rush of heat in your cunt as a response. He mewls softly, taking his other hand and placing it on the opposite breast. He ghosts his thumbs over the nipples, against the piercings and your sensitive skin, and you cry out at the touch. Ever since getting them pierced, the sensitivity in them had increased tenfold, and that little brush of his thumbs nearly had you up the wall with pleasure.

“Eddie…” you sigh, squeezing your thighs together to dull the throbbing ache that was settling between them.

“Are you okay?” he asks, looking at you worriedly. “Do you need me to stop?”

“God, no,” you say with a breathless chuckle. “Please don’t stop.”

He gives them a light pinch, and when he sees you reacting positively, he does it a little harder. You grab onto his arm, moaning and biting your lip to quiet yourself a little. The last thing you needed was for one or both of your parents to hear, and come down to investigate. Eddie massages circles onto your nipples, before cupping your tits and pressing them together, massaging them, and bringing his face close to them. He looks up at you through bangs and lashes, smirking as he does so. His lips travel from your breastbone to your stomach, and then back up, his eyes never leaving you for a moment. More wetness starts pooling in your panties, and they cling to you as his soft, plump lips continue pressing your skin.

“You know,” he says, nuzzling his way between your breasts before leaving hard, open mouthed kisses on your sternum. You tangle a hand in his hair, head tipped back as you moan hotly. “Not trying to sound like a creep, but I always knew you had some amazing fucking tits.”

You laugh, and that boldness from before takes over again. “Oh yeah? Well, I always thought your dick would look fucking amazing pressed between them, or just rubbing on them, or a combination of both. Whatever you would prefer.”

He shivers violently at that, groaning against your skin. “Fuck, y/n…”

He wraps the tip of his tongue around one nipple, still looking at you as he does so. You meet his gaze with a shiver, pushing some hair from his eyes as his tongue swirls the metal of the piercing. “I’ll bet you would love to cum all over them, wouldn’t you? Seeing me with it all over my tits, maybe even on my chin and tongue if you’re the type of guy who can really shoot one off.”

“Jesus, that’s…” Eddie breathes, giving your other nipple the same treatment. “That’s hot as shit.”

“Wanna do it?” you ask, and he shivers again. You can feel his cock, hard and throbbing in his pants, against your leg. “I think you do; the thought of it is getting you rock. Fucking. Hard. Isn’t it?”

“Yes, fuck,” Eddie hisses, pulling your nipple between his lips and sucking rapidly. He tugs it in his teeth, and you moan loudly, clamping your lips shut to keep silent. He toys with the other one, two fingers pinching the nipple & playing with the piercing. He draws back to look up at you, one hand settling on your waist as he tries to pull you closer to his body. “How does it feel? Does it still feel good?”

“Mmm hmm,” you breathe, grinning at him. “It feels so good, Eddie. You wanna know how good?”

“Yeah,” he says with a quick nod as he moves over to the other nipple for equal treatment.

“I’m so wet right now,” you say, your nails grazing his scalp as your hand deeply embeds in his long brown hair. “Mmm…I really want you to see just how fucking wet.”

“Please, let me see,” he practically whines, his lips pressing all over your chest in desperation as he ruts against your thigh. “Or let me touch you, or anything you want. Please, fuck…”

“Hang on,” you say, unbuttoning your pants and taking his hand. You guide it inside your drenched panties, where he groans at the feeling of your warm, wet pussy. “Feel that? You’re doing that to me, Eddie. It’s all you.”

“Goddammit,” he breathes, bucking himself harder against your leg with a low moan. He circles a finger around your entrance, before moving to your clit. You shiver and mewl as he rubs circles against the small bundle of nerves, head falling back again. He rapidly flicks his tongue over one of the piercings, before pressing the tip of his finger inside of you as an experiment. “I’ll bet your pussy tastes fucking incredible, and I’ll also bet that you would feel good squeezing around my cock.”

You groan filthily at his touch, chuckling as his free hand plays with your breast. You pull his head up by his hair, gazing into his eyes for a moment before kissing along his cheek, his jaw, and finally reaching his ear. Your teeth tug the lobe, a smirk on your lips as you whisper: “Why don’t you take me upstairs and find out?”

#eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction

[nats--sw]

Little Monster | Leah Williamson

Leah Williamson x reader You and Leah have a daughter, but Leah has forgotten the one thing you asked her to do today.  I saw a tiktok a few days ago and I need it to write this. I think i want to write more about this, like a part 2 but idk yet, need some ideas 

"Leah, can you come here for a second?!" 

Leah made a face as soon as she heard your voice. She never refused to help you with whatever you needed, but when you needed her during an interesting football match, like today, her disposition wasn't at its best.  

"Can you give me ten minutes? The match is about to end." Leah knew that her request was risky and that she could end up losing, but it was the most exciting game of the week, and Arsenal was fighting for the top spot in the Premier League, and so far, the result wasn't in their favour. 

Leah waited for a few seconds for a response from you, but when more than two minutes passed, she knew she was getting into trouble. She didn't want to ruin the day, so she decided to give in and get up from the sofa, muttering a couple of curses on her way to the kitchen. 

"Hey love, what do you need?" she asked with the sweetest voice she could do. But when she saw you looking at her from head to toe with a serious expression, she knew her attempt to not worsen the situation had been in vain. 

"Why are you dressed like that?" Your serious tone of voice was reasonable. Beth had invited both of you to a dinner to celebrate the team's latest win in one of the most important matches of the season, and you had to leave in less than an hour to arrive on time. But Leah was still in her Arsenal shirt and a pair of shorts she always wore at home. 

"I won't take long to change. What do you need help with?" Leah quickly changed the topic of the conversation, lowering her gaze to the cake you were struggling to finish decorating. "By the way, that looks delicious," she muttered, trying to scoop up some frosting with her finger, receiving a playful slap on her hand in response. 

"If it's not Olivia, it's you," you muttered, referring to your daughter, who had done the same thing as Leah twenty minutes ago. At least she had been smarter and had quickly run to her room before you could say anything to her. 

Leah was about to defend herself, but your daughter's shout echoed throughout the house, drawing both of your attention. 

"A gooaal! Yees!" 

Leah practically ran towards the living room, cursing when she realized she had missed the goal that tied the game. But Olivia, who was only four years old, had managed to see the goal and well... being the daughter of a footballer it was obvious that she knew the excitement of seeing your favourite team score a goal. 

"It was a goal, mommy!" Liv approached Leah, who instinctively lifted her in her arms while watching the goal replay. "Did you see it?!" 

"I can't believe it, Liv. We are so close to win this now." The joy of the goal was interrupted by your presence. Any other day, you would have found it the cutest thing in the world to see your daughter and your wife dressed the same while enjoying the match. However, over half an hour ago, you had asked Leah to help Liv change her clothes, but she was still dressed the same as before. 

Leah closed her eyes when she remembered what you had asked her to do during halftime. She was almost afraid to turn around now. "I'm sorry, dear. But we still have time, we'll change right away, don’t worry." 

"You have 20 minutes, Williamson," you said before returning to the kitchen, avoiding an argument. 

"Mum is upset." Liv whispered. 

"Yeah, don't tell me." Leah replied shaking her head.

- 

"Okay, where is the outfit mum chose for you?" Leah asked, placing Liv on her bed. 

"I don't want to wear that, mommy." 

"Why not?" Leah started searching and found the dress under the bed, Liv's usual hiding spot for her mischievous activities or snacks stolen from the kitchen. "But it's your favourite dress," she said when she saw the little blue dress. 

"I don't like it anymore." Liv said, crossing her arms. Leah sighed; it was always a battle to get her daughter dressed. However, you and Leah had decided not to force Liv into wearing something she didn't want. Instead, you always tried to find an agreement that made everyone happy, you wouldn't make her wear something she wasn't comfortable in, but you wouldn't let her go outside with the wrong shoes or shorts on a freezing day either. 

"Alright, what would you like to wear then?" Leah resigned, mostly because the dress was now wrinkled, and she didn't feel like bothering with an iron now. Liv hearing this, hopped off the bed and sprinted to her wardrobe, from where she pulled out a monster costume you and Leah had bought a while ago thinking it was cute in a certain way, but Leah knew that costume shouldn't be there. 

"Hey, where did you get that?" Leah asked because she was sure the costume was supposed to be hidden in the wardrobe you both shared. It was an old costume Liv wanted to wear every day back then, which wasn't a significant issue before, but since she started school a few months ago, you and Leah had decided to hide it to avoid daily battles. 

"I found it." Liv responded nonchalantly, handing it to Leah, who didn't know what to do. “I want to wear this, mommy.” 

"You can't go with this, sweetheart. Your mum won't be happy with me if I let you wear this..." 

"But it's a party, mommy! Mum is making a cake because it's a party." 

"Yes, but it's not a costume party." Leah shook her head and went to the wardrobe to find another outfit to convince her daughter. 

"But I want to wear this!" Liv clung to her costume, her eyes welling up with tears instantly. 

And when Leah turned around, she knew she had made a big mistake. Liv and you had the same eyes, and the truth was she was weak against both of those gazes... Perhaps it was worth facing you being mad at her to prevent your daughter from crying over a silly costume. 

- 

The twenty minutes you had given Leah had already passed a while ago. You had already finished the cake; everything was ready and in the car now, all that was left was for Leah and Olivia to come down. You were still a bit annoyed that Leah had forgotten to do the one thing you had asked of her, of course, it was an important match for her, and you understood that she got distracted, but it was just one thing she had to do while you had taken care of everything else.  

"Leah! We're going to be late!" you shouted from the first step of the stairs, holding the car keys in your hand, ready to go. 

"I'm coming!" you heard Leah and her steps around the second floor. And when she appeared on the stairs a few seconds later in a simple outfit, not quite formal enough, all you could do was smile because she looked beautiful as always. "Please don't be mad," she murmured as she reached you, taking the car keys from your hand and leaving the house before you saw Olivia. 

With that gesture from your wife, you knew that something had happened, so you weren't surprised to see your daughter coming down the stairs in her costume, with a big smile on her face. At least Leah had taken the time to do her hair. 

"Wow, I thought I wouldn't see this little monster anymore." you said, taking her in your arms and giving her a few kisses on her cheeks until Liv laughed and pushed you away with her hands on your face. And like when you had seen Leah in her outfit, you couldn't bring yourself to be upset that Olivia wasn't wearing what you and Leah had agreed on because she looked completely adorable in her little costume.  

"Do you like it, mum?" Liv asked, trying to adjust her costume, which had moved with your attack of kisses. You couldn't say that you loved it, but after all, it was a dinner with friends, and you were sure that when you arrived at Beth's, all the girls would be all over your daughter. 

"I love it, darling." 

- 

The car journey was quiet, not because you were still upset with Leah – although you were still annoyed, but now it wasn't for the same reason as before or because of Liv's costume. You were mad at her because as soon as you got in the car, Leah blamed you for missing the end of the Arsenal match, where they lost in the last minute. Was that your fault? Clearly not. In fact, if Leah had done what you asked her to do during halftime, she could have watched the entire second half without interruptions. 

Leah didn't usually get upset if her favourite team lost a match, or at least she didn't show it to you, but this time Arsenal had lost the top of the table and she had missed the most crucial minutes of the match that everyone would be talking about all week.  

But that wasn't your fault.  

"I'll help you, darling." You told your daughter as soon as Leah parked outside Beth's house. It was a blessing that Olivia hadn't figured out how to unbuckle her seatbelt yet, so Leah usually took care of that, but now you offered to do it just to get out of the car. 

Leah didn't say anything, she just gripped the steering wheel to hold back the anger she felt towards herself for being such an idiot and taking it out on you when you had nothing to do with it. She didn't get out of the car until she saw you ringing the doorbell.

Leah didn't want to ruin her friends' celebration, and she knew you didn't either, so she just had to pretend that everything was perfectly fine, something you and her had done more than once during all the years that you had been together. 

It was a simple task, and when Leah placed her hand on your waist and you didn't move away, she knew you had the same idea in mind. 

"Oh, I didn't know we had a little monster as a guest." Beth said when she saw the three of you outside her house. 

"Hiii" Olivia approached Beth, who had crouched down to give her a hug. 

"I couldn't convince her to wear something else." Leah said, laughing a bit while still holding you by your waist. 

"That's why mum is mad at mommy." Olivia blurted out, not intending to reveal her mothers' actions, but she was a child, and that's something kids tended to do. 

"Huh?" Beth raised an eyebrow with a hint of curiosity. 

"That's not true, Beth." you said, trying to downplay the situation your daughter had brought up. "Why don't we go inside? It's a bit cold out here." 

"Yeah, of course... sorry. The girls are already inside." Beth said and stepped aside to let you and Liv enter, blocking Leah from passing. "What did you do to upset your wife?" she murmured, ensuring you couldn't hear her words. 

"Nothing, I was just being an idiot, but don't worry, I'll fix it." 

- 

Just as you had thought, all the girls were around Olivia as soon as they saw her. Many of them had known her since she was a baby, so Liv felt attached to each one of them. 

"I think she gets more adorable every day," Beth appeared by your side, watching the girls sitting on the floor playing with your daughter. "I thought that costume had disappeared, or at least that's what Leah had told me." 

"Well, she found it," you murmured, still smiling. Seeing your daughter surrounded by people who loved her made you happy. 

"So... what happened with Leah?" Beth asked, pretending to sound disinterest. "She's been in the kitchen for half an hour, as if she's punishing herself." 

"I know Leah is your friend, but that doesn't stop her from acting like an idiot sometimes." 

"Oh... believe me, I know how much of an idiot she can be. But I think she's more than sorry for whatever she said." You chose to not say anything; you'd think about it once you got home. "Look y/n, you know I don't like to interfere in other people's relationships, but I think it's unfair that Leah is stuck in the kitchen missing out on moments like these." 

"I didn't send her to lock herself in, Beth." 

"I know, but you know how Leah is, she tends to punish herself and deprive herself of these things when she feels she had made a mistake," Beth sighed. "I've known you since the beginning of your relationship, I've been there for every one of your fights, and I know that at the end of the day you'll forgive each other as always, so why not do it now?" 

You contemplated Beth's words for a moment. She was right. You knew that when you got home, Leah would apologize and try to make things right, and you would forgive her before going to bed, so you could avoid the suffering that would last a few more hours. 

"We both know Leah adores these moments. She may have been an idiot by messing with you when you had nothing to do with it, but she doesn't deserve to miss this." 

"Fine." you said, shaking your head. "You stay in charge of my daughter until I get back, and please don't give her any more sweets. I don't want to deal with a sugar rush when I get home." 

"No promises." 

- 

Beth was right, Leah was in a corner of the kitchen as if someone had punished. 

"Hey" as soon as Leah heard your voice, she looked up from her phone and straightened her posture. 

"Did something happen? Where's Liv?" she quickly asked, thinking the only reason you'd talk to her was about something related to your daughter. 

"She's playing with the girls," you replied and approached her, resting your head on her shoulder, an action that made Leah stiffen, too afraid to move. "You know I'm not upset about the costume, right?" 

"Yes... deep down, I knew you wouldn't be bothered by that," she murmured, daring to put her arm around your back to make sure you wouldn't leave. "You're upset about what I said in the car... I was a complete idiot." 

"Exactly, you were an idiot. You acted like a straight man, you know?" you said, smiling a bit. 

"Wow, I think I've never been insulted like that." she said, looking at the floor with shame. "I was really that bad?" 

"Leah, you said that Arsenal lost because of me." you rolled your eyes, trying to move away from Leah's body when the anger returned at the memory of her words. But you didn't take more than two steps before Leah grabbed you by the waist and turned you to face her. 

"I'm really sorry. I know it's not an excuse, but I was stressed because we were running late, and I couldn't find something to wear, and the Liv's costume... my emotions got mixed up, and I did something that wasn't right, so I'm sorry," she said sincerely, never breaking the eye contact. 

"That doesn't change the fact that you're an idiot," you replied, and before Leah could defend herself, you placed your lips on hers. "If you make a scene over a silly football game again, I'll kick you out of the house and tell your mother. Do you hear me? And we both know she won't be happy." you said as you pulled away from her lips, but you kept pointing at her with your index finger. 

"Of course love, whatever you say," she kissed you again. It wasn't an intense kiss, but you could feel how much Leah wanted to express to you in it because she kept holding you by your waist to prevent you from pulling away. 

"Yuck!" Olivia exclaimed, frowning when she entered the kitchen followed by Beth. 

"Indeed... yuck." Beth laughed as she saw you with flushed cheeks and the huge smile on Leah's face. 

"Shut up, Beth," Leah laughed, approaching your daughter. "And you, little monster, I think you've had too many sweets while we weren't there." 

Olivia shook her head, but the blue all over her mouth gave her away. "I haven't eaten anything, mommy." 

"Sure." Leah rolled her eyes and picked up your daughter. "Come on, let's go find Viv so we can play for a bit." 

When your wife and your daughter left the kitchen, Beth approached you with a smile on her face. "I was right then?" 

"Shut up, Beth." 

#leah williamson x reader #leah williamson x you #woso x reader #woso imagine #leah williamson imagine

[lqveharrington]

Silver Roses & Fallen Snow

5: The Winner’s Guilt (Series Masterlist)

summary: Your father makes another deal, and Coriolanus Snow wins the 10th Annual Hunger Games, but Dean Highbottom won’t let him feel too good about it… Especially when he knows his weakness.

pairing: young!coriolanus snow x fem!reader

includes: reader’s dad being a dick, major fluff at the beginning, allusions to sex, kissing, death, mentions of murder, yelling/screaming, mentions of cheating, mentions of heartbreak, italics are flashbacks, bold italics are Coriolanus’ thoughts

word count: 4.4k+

a/n: oopsies, sorry for the long wait 😔 ALSO THIS STORY IS NOT OVER YET, DONT WORRY

Waking up and hearing your father’s nonsense about the Hunger Games was not the best way to start your morning as a mentor. Especially when your tribute had just survived the blood bath by the skin of her teeth and an ally. You really did not want to stay home any longer, but your father insisted that you stay and listen to his thoughts about the games, asking about your own thoughts and strategies on how you were going to get the young twelve-year-old to win.

“Mhm.” You nod mindlessly, poking your food in boredom. You were grateful for the food made by your wonderful staff, but your father was just ruining it.

“Be glad your sickly tribute had an alliance with the other District Eleven tribute. She would have been dead otherwise.”

You hum again, sipping from the tea this time. It took at least ten minutes before he switched the topic, something that made you want to listen to his speech about the Hunger Games instead.

“How are you and that young Snow doing?”

The question was out of the blue, which meant it was attached to something much worse afterward.

“We’re doing as fine as it always is.” You meet his eyes, the weight of your rose charm suddenly becoming prominent. “Why?”

“Can’t I take interest in my daughter’s relationship with a boy who isn’t worth anything?” Your father raised his brow, an entitled chuckle following. You glare at him, gaining his attention back. “You know his songbird won’t win. She barely escaped. And she’s friends with the other tribute who got bitten in the neck. They won’t make it out even if they tried. Plus, I know he would do anything to win, even if it means breaking a few rules—”

You shake your head, “Is this going anywhere? Or are we going to keep talking about the games?”

“Ah, you take after your mother.” He smiles at the memory before switching back to his authoritative tone. “I was speaking with Porcius Creed about his eldest son—”

“Father—”

“---And if all else fails with young Mr. Snow, he would be delighted to have his son wed you.” He finishes, looking at your expression with amusement. “What?”

“I hate you.” You seeth and push away from the dining table, taking your coat and leaving the Lovett Manor.

Your father had been talking about setting you up with another one of your peers after the games. You didn’t expect him to already arrange something without knowing if Coriolanus was going to win or not. Sure, his chances were slim, but you had the hope that he would win, even if that meant your tribute couldn’t. And it was hell knowing that if he lost you were stuck with Festus for the rest of your life. He wasn’t as bad as the other prospects your father had brought up, but there were others more worthy of you than Festus.

Including Coriolanus Snow.

There were several times when you knew you wanted to marry Coriolanus. You could be separated from him for months and still want to marry him. It was something you believed that would never change.

Lovett Manor was filled with the most prestigious families of the Capitol. Your father had invited almost everyone he was business partners with and those in control of the government. He had left little invitations for you to give out as the majority of them were already well acquainted with you through the Academy. Luckily, you were able to sneak an invite to the Snows, having the power to veto your father’s own opinions.

After all, it was your eighteenth birthday.

However, you had zero say in how your party was supposed to go. Your father had planned everything and hired the best staff to make the house and ballroom presentable for your birthday. All you did was watch from the living room and pick out a dress from the dozens your stylist brought in.

And with all the families present in the grand ballroom, you thought it would be best to sneak away while the party was still hot and heavy, taking quick steps up to your room.

Entering your room, you swung open the balcony doors to reveal the vast garden looming over the backyard. You could still hear the muffled songs playing from the ballroom from below as you leaned against your balcony’s concrete railings.

It felt like only a few minutes before someone came knocking on your door, making you release a heavy sigh.

“Yes?” You ask, body still facing away from your room.

“I haven’t seen you all night, beautiful.” Coriolanus entered, watching your eyes light up as you whipped around.

You smiled and let him pull you into an embrace, wrapping your arms around his torso. You tilt your head up, meeting his eyes. “Hey.”

“Hi.” He held you by the hand and twirled you around, admiring your figure. “You look stunning.”

Truth be told, the dress and makeup were truly beautiful. You wore an off-shoulder, silk red gown that cascaded down to the ground, with ruby earrings dangling and shining from the moonlight. Your lips were painted a daring red, matching your complexion beautifully. Not to mention the necklace hanging around your neck, which was Coriolanus’ favorite jewelry you’ve ever owned. But really, he loved the way you looked all the time.

“You look so beautiful.” He breathed almost intimately, his blue eyes now focusing on yours.

You continued to smile brightly, taking note of his matching outfit. You wondered how much Tigris had to spend just so he could look proper at your party. The thought gnawed in your mind for a bit before you snapped back, coming up with a quick compliment to cover your silence. “You look quite handsome yourself.”

A new song started up in the ballroom. A slower song preferably for the couples and single men your father wanted you to dance with. Coriolanus tilts his head at the music, a playful glint in his eyes as you raise a brow in curiosity.

Coriolanus formally extends his hand out to you, “Would you like to dance, beautiful?”

You shake your head with a small smile, placing your hand on top of his. “Of course, Coryo.”

He kisses the top of your hand and pulls you into a graceful waltz. One hand was placed delicately on your waist while the other held your hand that wasn’t holding onto his shoulder. He guided you effortlessly across your balcony, matching the song’s pace. You two spoke about your day and brought up memories from the past. It was refreshing to talk to someone you genuinely wanted to talk to.

“Thank you for the flowers.” You mention, remembering the orchids that were sent up to your room earlier while you were getting ready, Coriolanus’ handwriting scrawled on a piece of paper attached to it. “I love them.”

“I have another gift, but that won’t come until later.” He winked as he spun you around, watching your face flush red as he caught you.

“I hate you.” You bite back a smile, your heart wanting nothing more than to kiss and marry the man in front of you. You promised yourself you could never actually hate him. You knew there would never be a chance where you could have the strongest emotion to hate him.

He let a small smirk slip through, “You love me.”

“Yeah, I do.” You reply with the softest voice.

Coriolanus dipped you as the song came to an end, holding onto you tightly. “Happy birthday, my love.”

You smiled widely at him, knowing that he was the only one who completely swept you off your feet.

He pressed a loving kiss to your lips as you wrapped your arms around his neck. It seemed like fireworks went off in your stomach as the actual fireworks went off in the night sky, signifying the end of your birthday party.

“And Happy Anniversary,” Coriolanus spoke when he parted your lips briefly, gazing into your eyes filled with adoration.

By the time you snapped out of your memories, you arrived at the Capitol’s Citadel. You were unaware of how long you were disassociated with the world around you until the horns honking behind you grew more aggressive and loud. As you left the car and entered the impending building, whispers were going around of another tribute’s death. Many suspected it was another one of Coral’s, but you knew the truth and didn’t dare say a word about it.

Soon enough, Lucretius Flickerman announced the death of the tribute.

“Wakey wakey, my Capitol friends! I’m Lucky Flickerman and welcome to day number two of the Tenth Annual Hunger Games.” He introduces himself to the camera once more. “Now while most of you were getting your beauty sleep last night, something scintillating occurred. Bobbin, from District Eight, slaughtered.”

The screen flashed to the boy’s frozen body, the buzzer indicating the official death.

You bit the inside of your cheek, resting your hands on the back of your seat. You glanced around the huge room, looking for a particular blond when Lysistrata and Festus came over to where you stood, supposedly finding someone new to rope into their conversation about the fallen tribute.

“We have a question for you.” Festus clasped his hands together and pointed toward you. You blinked for a second, hoping that he wasn’t going to bring up anything your father recently told you. “Why do you think they wouldn’t show us the death of the young boy?”

You shrug and slip into the mask of a Capitol student with no care after realizing Festus didn’t know what his own father roped him into. “Maybe they lost the footage.”

“How can they? They were live all night.” Lysistrata furrowed her brows, glancing up at the screen. “Something is off.”

“Maybe they’re building suspense, Lyssie.” You silently thank whoever was in charge of the program for changing the camera feed. “Who knows what could have happened. Maybe the death was just too brutal.”

Festus shook his head like your thought wasn’t something practical. “Obviously it was one of Coral’s. Everyone else we’ve talked to said that no one else has moved throughout the night except her and the rest of her pack.”

You zoned out from their conversation as they started to argue more about the young boy, picking at your nails. The sounds around you meshed into one while the Citadel filled with Academy and University students, along with families of the remaining mentors. With your distracted self, you hadn’t realized Coriolanus arrived and was well aware of your disassociation.

“Good morning, beautiful.” Coriolanus slipped an arm around your waist as he left a quick kiss on your cheek. He quickly noticed you being absent-minded, rubbing soft circles in your waist. “What’s wrong?”

You hummed, taking his hand and lacing them together. “A lot of stuff.”

“You can’t be vague.” He clicks his tongue and lets you mess with his fingers. “What happened?”

You tilt your head up and peck his lips. “I love you a lot, you know that, right?”

“I do.” He murmurs, looking between your eyes. “I love you more than you realize… What did your father say to you?”

You fight the urge to roll your eyes at the mention of your father, cursing your boyfriend’s quick judgment. “I’ll tell you later.”

“Fine.” He gave you another quick kiss, unbuttoning his blazer. “What are they talking about?” He titled his head to the duo to your right.

“Tribute’s death.” You loop a finger around your necklace for a bit and then move your hand over to Coriolanus’ left shoulder, gently massaging as he tenses. “Are you feeling any better?”

He shrugs, “Hoping for everything to end today.”

You give his shoulder one last squeeze, “You better sit down. Flickerman looks like he’s gonna murder Festus for standing around.”

“I’ll talk to you later.” Coriolanus removed his arm from you and placed a brief kiss on your lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You reciprocate.

Truly, you found it strange that Coriolanus became more attentive and doting toward you recently. But who were you to complain about your boyfriend’s sudden increase in affection?

You took your seat as the screen flashed to Jessup and Lucy Gray down in the same spot from last time. You weren’t interested too badly until the male tribute moved to attack Lucy Gray. You weren’t expecting it, nor did everyone else watching as gasps emerged from the stands. Everyone was fixated on the screen as the camera switched to the main part of the arena, capturing the chase.

“Jessup, going for Lucy Gray.” Flickerman commentates, more gasps and murmurs coming from the stands inside the Citadel.

You shifted your gaze over to your right, watching Coriolanus converse with Lysistrata. You knew he was trying to talk his way into getting his tribute to survive, but you were silently hoping Jessup took out Lucy Gray. You weren’t one to wish death upon someone, but the little memory locked in a chest started to break open the more you thought about your father’s words. However, you knew Jessup was done for the second you caught Lysistrata giving in to Coriolanus’ efforts.

She sent a drone out with water, the glass smashing against the tribute’s chest which sent panic to course through his body. Everyone watched as he tried to balance, but he fell over the concrete ledge and promptly died, the buzzer indicating the time of death. You watched as your peer walked out of the room with a broken face, avoiding the eyes of her classmates.

Your eyes flickered back to the screen as you heard the crowd’s murmur increase in volume. Lucy Gray was surrounded by Coral and her group and it felt like she had lost the game as more donations started to roll in for the other tributes. There were positives and negatives to Lucy Gray’s life in the games. If Lucy Gray died now, you would be stuck with Festus. If she survived and won, you were sure you would be stuck with seeing red everywhere, even if you had Coriolanus to yourself.

And as if he heard your thoughts, Festus looked over at you and then to Coriolanus, watching both of your faces to find any change emotionally.

“Oh, look at this! The pack doing what they do best, packing it in!” Flickerman switches his gaze over to the mentors as he hears a computer switching keys. “Mr. Snow going for his community packages.”

You reach up for your necklace’s charm, watching as the horrid drones come pouring into the arena and smashing into the tributes. You were thankful that Dill was safe and away from the chaos that happened within a span of just a few minutes. If anything, you would rather have Dill stay hidden for the rest of the games and let everyone else fight for their lives.

“Hey! You can’t attack the tributes.” Vipsania stood from her seat, all heads turning toward her and then to Coriolanus.

“I’m just sending water.” Coriolanus shrugs, looking at you for a split second in amusement.

Honestly, you were on the verge of letting a small laugh out at his response. Of course, he used the drones to attack the tributes, but what they don’t know can’t hurt them, right?

Instead of looking back at the screen like the rest of your classmates did, you let your eyes train on Coriolanus. He was just so immersed in the live feed and you couldn’t help yourself. His tongue would slightly poke out and his eyebrows would furrow every couple seconds. It would have been cute if you weren’t mentoring the Hunger Games or if there wasn’t a buzzer just now.

When you said you were going to study with Coriolanus, you weren’t thinking that you were going to study for the next four hours after class ended. You studied for about thirty solid minutes before you started to lose focus.

You shifted your attention from the Latin textbook in your lap to the blond next to you. You smiled at the sight. He was focused on reading a passage in Latin that he didn’t realize his tongue was poking out with the scrunch of his nose and brows.

“Coryo.” You shifted from your spot on his bed, sitting up as he hummed. “Do you know you look like an angry kitten when you read?”

“Pardon?” He looked up at you, watching your eyes shine in delight.

“Well, you make a face that looks like an angry kitten whenever you focus on something…” You hide your face behind his shoulder, suppressing a short laugh. “Never mind.”

Coriolanus swore his heart skipped a beat at your laughter, falling deeper and deeper in love with you each day. “Beautiful, I won’t be compared to an angry kitten outside of this conversation.”

“Fine.” You bite back a smile as you peer up at him from your spot. “But I’ll be thinking about it whenever I see you do it. It’s cute.”

He felt the tips of his ear warm at your words, “It’s not cute.”

“It is.” You peck his cheek. “It so is. I’ll take a picture of it one day and print it for you.”

“Again, falling. Ending a tribute’s game.”

Your attention shifted back to the screen as Lucy Gray ran up into the fallen stands and into the air ducts. The second she locked herself in there, another buzzer went off moments later.

Coral killed one from her pack. Despite having an alliance together, she had zero hesitation to turn against someone to prove her worth and not let anyone get in her way.

“Seven tributes remain. Merciless Mizzen, cunning Coral, treacherous Treech. Dill, Reaper, of course, and the little ones. Little Wovey and Lucy Gray.”

You blew a small breath out, watching as Coral and her pack left to get Wovey. You felt bad for the poor girl, but you would rather have them after anyone else who wasn’t your own tribute. You shut your eyes for a moment, but you could sense something bad was about to happen with all the silence filling the room.

“And who do we have here? Ah, it’s ill Dill. Tuberculosis on legs.”

Your eyes immediately shoot open as you hear your tribute’s name being called. You wish she could have at least waited for Reaper to go with her out in the arena. She had no weapon, and it wasn’t practical to be in the Hunger Games without a weapon. You were just praying that no one would see her, hoping that she could get the water and go.

She looked around the arena before taking a sip from the water left by the pack. Dill placed it back down and coughed a fit, something that confused you. She was coughing a lot more than the other day. You creased your brows as she moved to lay down on the ground, continually coughing. You swore she was better before she entered the arena. And if she wasn’t, you gave her medicine to take during the games.

Coriolanus dropped his gaze down from the screen and glanced over to you, knowing the truth of what happened to the girl. He knew that your tribute already lost the games by drinking the water.

You watched as Reaper came running across the screen, shaking her awake before dread spread through your body as he flipped her over. He screamed, looking around the arena.

“No no no no no no.” You mumble, eyes glazed over. “How did that even—? No no no no no—“

The buzzer went off. Officially indicating the death of your tribute. You bit your tongue and left, not daring to look back at the screen where your tribute lay dead or meet your lover’s eyes which were burning into you.

You stepped out of the room and leaned against the wall, holding back sobs for the young girl. You promised yourself you would get Dill out, and you couldn’t even keep it. Mentoring the games increased your hatred for them, but the deaths of each tribute shot the hatred far past the point of return. You wiped stray tears that managed to get away from you, the tears darkening your red Academy uniform. You were about to head back to Lovett Manor when you heard someone clearing their throat beside you, making you freeze your movements. You saw Dean Highbottom waiting for you with what seemed like a videotape in his hand labeled: NIGHT 3, CAPITOL ZOO.

Fireworks went off in the early evening as Coriolanus entered one of the most important Capitol buildings. He was instructed that his tribute was waiting for him inside, but he still wanted to find you. You were not present when he won the Hunger Games and no one knew where you went.

Until now.

“Lucy Gray?” Coriolanus called out in the monumental room, the peacekeepers escorting him waiting by the front. “Lucy Gray?” He called one more time, voice echoing.

He slowly spun around looking at the table in front of him, the color draining from his face as he saw his father’s handkerchief and his mother’s compact. Albeit confused as to why a television was placed amongst them.

“Coriolanus.” Your own voice reverberated around the room, entering the room with your own pair of peacekeepers.

“Beautiful,” He loosened his tense shoulders, smiling at your presence. “Where were you? I—“

“I heard you won.” You frown, walking over to him. “Congratulations.”

He creased his brows at the way you carried yourself. It was different. “What’s wrong—“

“You cheated, Coriolanus.” You glance at the items laid across the table, tapping the videotape the dean gave you against your palm. “You know that’s against the rules.”

“Yes, but—“ Then he cut himself off as he noticed your puffy, bloodshot eyes. He knew were crying for a while if they had gotten to that state.

“You cheated.” You said again. This time, your voice trembled at the thought. “Was I ever going to know?”

Coriolanus kept quiet, waiting for you to continue. There was no way you knew about it… Right?

“Coriolanus, when?” You quickly wipe a falling tear, keeping your composure up.

“Never.” He spoke as he reached out to you. “But it was all for you! I don’t—“

You pull away from his touch, shoving the tape down onto the table. “Play the tape, Coriolanus.”

He sighed, taking the recording and putting it inside the slot, the television coming to life.

The video that was played was a recording from the Capitol Zoo. And according to the timestamp at the top, yesterday.

You couldn’t watch the screen even if you tried. You knew that if you did, there was no coming back from breaking down and sobbing for what seemed like the nth time today.

“Beautiful…” Coriolanus runs a hair through his hand, watching the tape. “That kiss with Lucy Gray meant nothing.”

Apparently watching it happen and hearing it coming from your lover’s mouth was entirely different because you snapped the second he mentioned those three words in one sentence.

“You kissed Lucy Gray, Coriolanus!” You yell, tears now free-falling from your face. His eyes widened at your tone, looking between your fiery eyes. “You kissed her so you could win! You manipulated the poor girl! You thought I wouldn’t find out about this? You gave her your mother’s compact filled with poison and it killed my tribute! It’s not—”

You took deep breaths, shutting your eyes as your heart slowly broke with each second passing he said nothing.

“Do you want to know why I was upset earlier, Coriolanus?” You quickly wipe a tear. “Because my father and Festus’ father agreed to let me wed Festus if you didn’t win. You won, but at what cost?”

He wanted to comfort you, but the second he touched you, it was all over. He knew that his touch would be unwelcome.

“You kissed Lucy Gray when you promised I was your top priority.” You disregarded the few tears that continued to pour out of your eyes. “You kissed her when you promised wherever we go, you stayed with me.” You bite your lip, looking down at the floor, almost whispering the next words. “You kissed Lucy Gray when we were together like I meant nothing to you.”

“Were?” Coriolanus questioned your use of the past tense to reference your relationship status. “What do you mean were?”

You flicker your eyes up to his, “As in we were together. Coriolanus, you cheated on me. And no, we can’t just fix this issue this time or forget about it. You could have come up with any other way of getting Lucy Gray to win, but you chose one that could hurt me…” You crease your brows at the inflection of your words. “And it did. You think you did the right thing, but choosing to kiss someone else to be with another is not how this works.”

“Beautiful…”

“I can’t.” You murmur, unclasping the necklace off of you and handing it over to him. “You can’t expect me to stay with you after you cheated on me. After you reassured me that you weren’t acting a certain way with Lucy Gray.”

He paled as the necklace fell into his palm, the weight of the silver burning his hand like the burden it was. “You know I never meant it like that. I wanted to win for you.”

“I know.” You gave him a bitter smile at the thought of your father’s deal, calming yourself from your earlier reactions.

Coriolanus wrapped his fingers around the hot necklace, watching you become more and more distant with him. “You know I love you, right?”

“I know.” You replied as the peacekeepers signaled for you to wrap it up. You let out a shaky breath as one last tear fell from your face, getting ready to leave before Highbottom came.

Coriolanus couldn’t help but wipe it off, causing you to frown at his cold touch. “Please.”

You take a hold of his hand, squeezing it. “Coriolanus… It’s not fair to myself.”

Before you could leave, Coriolanus pulled you into his arms, one hand holding your hip while the other held your back. He kissed the top of your head, “I’m sorry, beautiful.”

You choke back a sob that threatened to escape, bringing your hands to your mouth. You knew you had to leave, but it wasn’t like you could leave his embrace. It gave you comfort even if you didn’t want it from him. And he held you. After everything, you let him hold you tightly.

Everything was wrong. The wrong place at the wrong time. And the only thing that both you and Coriolanus felt as you left him was fallen snow melting on burning silver.

taglist: @peterparkerluvvbot @nathaslosthershit @springholland @psychicpuppyarcade @whodis-26 @coconut-dreamz @cowgirllharry @slytherinholland @lacysversion @perks-of-being-jojo @itzmeme @noodlesketchbook @ohmyzai @upsidedownjill @mizuki80 @unclecrunkle @tiaamberxx @bxtchopolis @starrynightstory @namelesslosers @lugiastark @dangelnleif @aemondsb1tch @witchsbitchestime @ace-spades-1 @ordinarylokix @kookie29 @secretsicanthideanymore @angelscrime @ms-longbeach @rosieleej @alpha-mommy69 @loklaufeysonssgodess @aoi-targaryen @imaginebeingmentallystable @sighsophiia @innercreationflower @cascadingbliss @edb954 @castellandiangelo @lot4ever @nowitsmissing @lookclosernow @bambi-horror @httpfandxms @goobitagoobre @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @captainbabybear @becauseseaotters @mvdhvtterxx (comment to be added)

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#coriolanus snow #lqveharrington #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the hunger games #tbosas #tom blyth #coriolanus snow angst #coriolanus snow imagine #coriolanus snow fanfiction #corio snow #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus snow icons #coriolanus imagine #coriolanus smut #coriolanus fanfiction #coriolanus snow smut #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x you #coriolanus x lucy gray #coriolanus x y/n #coriolanus snow drabble #coriolanus snow x you #coriolanus snow headcanon #coriolanus snow oneshot #august’s srfs ❄️ #coriolanus snow fic #coriolanus snow fluff #tom blyth x reader #billy the kid #billy the kid x reader

[storywriter007]

(Part 2) Part 1 - You're Not Her - Percy Jackson x Fem!Reader

summary: in which y/n realizes this relationship is no longer worth fighting for

warnings: cursing, character death, toxic relationship, throwing things

genre: angst

word count: 1.1k

------------------------------------------------

y/n laughed as a smidge of vanilla ice cream was put on percy's nose.

"not funny y/n." he said, irritated, wiping it off.

"sorry, won't happen again." she said back, shocked at the mood change. "wanna go for a swim?" she asked, trying to change the topic.

"no, i want to stay dry." he said, plainly.

"do you want to do anything?" y/n laughed.

he looked at her with his sea green eyes.

"what do you think." he said.

"alright per-sassy-eus." she shrugged.

they stared the the lake in silence until a little girl came running.

"y/n! y/n!" she shouted, running towards her.

y/n wrapped her arms around the seven-year old.

"hey serena! what's up?" she asked, smiling.

"me and lily and kayla and a bunch of other girls are making friendship bracelets!" serena said excitedly. "c'mon! hi percy!"

"hey serena." he smiled. "i like your bracelet."

"i have two of them, they are matching!" she grinned. "you can have one."

she slid the blue one off her wrist and gave it to percy.

"now we're best friends!" serena said, returning to y/n and tugging on her hand.

y/n looked at percy.

"percy, i'm gonna go." she smiled, kissing him on the cheek.

"yeah, ok." he shrugged.

"love you." y/n said.

"mhm."

------------------------------------------------

y/n got to the arts and crafts table and sat down next to her good friend, olivia.

"they got you too?" liv laughed.

"yeah." y/n smiled.

"y/n! why didn't percy say love you back?" serena asked.

y/n felt hurt, but she couldn't show that, not to this little girl. olivia stared at her, waiting for the response.

"he's just a little shy now-a-days." y/n chuckled.

"but he's your boyfriend!" serena's friend, lily spoke up.

"boyfriends can be shy." y/n explained, wondering whether she was lying to the kids or herself.

"but he always say i love you to annabeth!" serena's other friend, kayla added.

"i guess he's just a little more reserved after what happened with annabeth. that changes people." y/n smiled.

"he's still my hero though!" serena smiled.

"him and jason are my heroes!" lily added.

"kayla, who's your hero?" they asked.

"my hero is reyna!" she said confidently.

y/n chuckled.

------------------------------------------------

y/n and olivia sat on y/n's bed in her cabin.

"what were the girls going on about today?" liv asked.

"percy, and they were right, and they had good points." y/n sighed, tired of hiding it. "we've been dating for almost a year now, and he's just so negative."

"what do you mean?" liv continued.

"i mean he always gets mad at me, he never wants to do anything with me, and it feels like i'm just someone to look at when he's bored." y/n explained. "i get it, things are different for him after annabeth died."

olivia nodded, placing her hand on y/n's for comfort.

"they'd been friends forever, they went through hell together, they'd been in love, and he couldn't save her at the battle. but it's been three years, and he confessed to me. he said, 'i know you've like me for a while and i think i do too.' i remember the day liv." y/n continued. "and things have changed for me too. piper and hazel are always casting me dirty glances, jason and leo and frank avoid me if i'm in anywhere near ten feet to them. i've been slut-shamed, compared, and bullied because i'm dating him."

y/n began to feel tears well up.

"i just want him to talk to me and hang out with me without feeling like he's being forced to do it." she finished.

"y/n, i think this is something you have to tell percy." olivia responded. "you can't keep going like this, it's going to kill you."

"i don't want to hurt him and what if he just freaks out on me? i care about him." y/n countered.

"just talk to him." olivia encouraged. "he's a good man, he'll understand."

------------------------------------------------

"you're not understanding me!" y/n said, sadness filling her voice. "i-i'm not telling you to get over what happened, i'm trying to tell you that you can talk to me! i'm trying to help you percy!"

"help me! help me! you want to help me by bringing up her name?" he screamed.

gods, he was scary.

"i'm trying to tell you that it feels like you don't even like me, much less love me! it's like i'm a burden to you!" y/n shouted back. "and i understand you're hurting, but why am i a victim of your grief?"

"fine!" he said, throwing a candle across his cabin. "i'm sorry that my girlfriend, who i loved for longer than i've ever known you, is dead and that it makes me upset!"

y/n ducked, avoiding the glass shards. fear ran through her bones.

"and i'm sorry you have to go through that, but it sucks for me too! piper and hazel give me these glares, like they hate every vein in my body. leo, jason, and frank run from me like i'm a disease! and i've told you and you don't do shit to stop it, you encourage it if anything!" y/n yelled.

"they've got every fucking reason too!" he yelled, throwing a picture frame of us across the room.

"what's the reason! tell me, what's the reason!" y/n shouted.

"because you're not annabeth!" he yelled, with every bone in his body as tear welled up in his eyes. "you're not her, she would've never done whatever shit you're doing."

y/n stood still for a minute as the words replayed in her head.

you're not her, you're not her, you're not her.

tears filled y/n's eyes.

it's like percy finally understood the gravity of the situation as he looked around in shame.

"y/n, i didn't mean that-"

"no, no, percy, you did. you really did, because otherwise, you wouldn't have said it. and you wouldn't have followed every action to prove it." y/n chuckled. "i'm sorry i'm not annabeth."

percy took a couple of steps forward, but stopped instantly when y/n backed up defensively. y/n pointed to the glass shards around the room. they stood in silence.

"you're a bad man, percy. throwing shit and telling me i'll never be enough. i wish every little girl and boy could see their so-called camp hero right now. i wish they could see what a fucking monster he is." y/n said, her voice now low and quiet.

she turned around, and walked out of his cabin.

“y/n, can’t we talk about this?” he shouted out.

“oh i tried talking to you percy.” she chuckled. “but, you can always go down to annabeth’s gravestone and talk to her."

#angst #heroes of olympus #heroes of olympus x reader #hoo x reader #percy jackson #annabeth chase #percabeth #percy jackson x reader #percy x reader #percy #annabeth #camp half blood #percy jackson x y/n #percy x y/n

[aceyogurt]

Part-time romance

Pairing: Vox x GN reader

WC: 3k

A/n: PT ONE FINALLY UP WHOOOOOOOO…. This chapter is a lot of set up so no sexual tension yet sorry guys 😔, but I promise it’s still entertaining!

Nine years you’ve been in hell, and frankly compared to others, it wasn’t the worst. When you first fell you were smart enough to gain a good understanding of hell and its system before falling into the system of power and soul exchanges. While the idea of selling your soul to an overload didn’t sound optimal, neither did being weak and likely killed in an extermination. That's why you decided to work under the contract as your best option for the time being, ten years you worked under Velvet, one of the Vee’s, and in exchange, you had protection and decent pay. Luckily you were smart enough to go over the fine print and not be a slave to them but, still, they had lots of power over you. You didn't work close to them in the beginning though so it worked out.

In your life, before the fall you were a high-positioned manager for a company. So, you had the appropriate knowledge to climb up the ladder quickly, scoring you higher pay and closer relations to the Vees. Velvet was the one who took an interest in you after you were recently promoted and met her in a meeting. She loved your sense of fashion and you guys hit off well.

So, now here you are working almost top of the ladder and friends with your boss, an overlord of hell, life was pretty nice! Well other than your love life… but let’s be real who has one in hell? Anyways you and Velvet were doing your weekly recap at a new bar and she was ranting about how much of a bitch Val was being. “And then that pissbaby fucking ruined my shoot” She stared at you for a moment snapping her fingers “Oi you listening to me? What's up with you? You never do this, out of it.” you sigh putting your phone down. “Sorry, we recently got some new hires and they've been driving me insane, plus a date I had yesterday sucked.” “I get you girl dealing with co-workers drives me insane too… As for your love life, you don't need one trust me, you're too hot for any mid-low life, plus men suck.” you laugh at her comment which was likely a means to cheer you up before, going back to the topic of Valentino ruining Velvet's shoot.

“I told you before you gonna stress yourself out if you refuse to get some kind of assistance!” velvet protested at Vox. “Vel, I'll be fine, I'm capable of taking care of things myself. I don't understand why you are so prominent about this whole getting an assistant.” It takes everything in Velvet not to slap Vox right there as she looks at him like he's stupid, “I'm not saying you have to have someone do your work but, having someone to help you manage things would sure as hell help you not be so pissy all the time! I'm just trying to give you advice and it's like the wires in you start short-circuiting at the idea!” Vox sighs, pressing a hand across his screen before replying. “Look, as much as I appreciate you trying to help, I can handle it myself, getting an assistant will just create more work for me anyway. And I'd prefer to deal with the least amount of idiots possible since we have to deal with Val every day.” Velvet opens up her phone still talking to Vox, “You bloody right about the Piss Baby but, my point is what if we get you an assistant who isn't an idiot?” Vox raised an eyebrow “Got someone in mind” Velvet smiled already shooting a text to a certain someone, “of course” 

Velvet 💕

Cancel wtvr you’re doing I need to talk to u

You

Am I in trouble

???

Ok geez I'm coming 

“Took you long enough girl, I thought you weren't coming,” Velvet said leaning back in a nearby chair and scrolling on her phone, “well when you ask someone mid-workday to drop everything they're doing it takes them a minute to get somewhere,” you reply slightly annoyed as you sit down grabbing a bottle of water. “Yeah yeah, let's cut it to the point so I'm not wasting your precious time. Starting Tomorrow you'll be Vox’s assistant or whatever.” you choke on the water. “I'm sorry WHAT” asked a bit louder than necessary. Velvet rolls her eyes, placing her phone down, “Vox needs an assistant to help manage his shitstorm of a workload, and because he won't settle for just anyone I figured you'd be the perfect demon for the position. After all, you don't like your job now anyway so it's a win-win!” You slump down in your seat “How am I supposed to have my current job figured out in one day? It'll be a disaster and the whole team will fall apart!” Velvet shrugs “I wouldn't worry about it I'm sure a few demons can handle not having you around.” you decide not to argue with her and head back to your office.

The rest of the day you were stressed, trying to manage everything for your departure and making sure the team wouldn't fall apart. Getting home you almost immediately fell asleep not wanting to deal with anything else for the rest of the night.

You woke up two hours earlier than you normally would, whether that was because you wanted to look good or because your nerves were getting to you. Anyways you decided on an outfit and took around an hour to do your makeup and such. Because you had extra time you decided to get some coffee on your way to work, then you headed to the office of the overlord you now work for. You only prayed he wouldn’t be upset about your earliness.

You knocked on the doors of a room that Vox was supposedly in, well it was the room Velvet told you to go to, the doors opened and you began to walk across the bridge that led to a huge TV panel-like area. Each step you took you felt your anxiety build for no particular reason, the echo of your footsteps with each step you took. When you get to the area where you assumed he’d be though, all that was placed was an empty chair. You were going to head back, “you showed up much earlier than Velvet said you were going to arrive.” holy shit you were not expecting him to be right behind you, you got frightened hard “fuck!” you shout before realizing what you said. Your boss ends up laughing at your slip-up, “Oh did I scare you, that's hilarious' ' You bit the inside of your cheek before apologizing, which Vox didn't care much for. He sat at his desk and stared at the screens in front of him, you were waiting for him to speak up but, it seemed you were going to need to make the first move.

“So, Sir, what would you like me to do…?” Vox takes a sip of his coffee staring down at his phone before blankly looking at you, “What- did Velvet not tell you anything?” you look back at him a bit embarrassed, “Not really no…” For the next tenish minutes or so, Vox grudgingly explained to you what he expected of you, which ultimately wasn't a whole lot. You knew he had other assistants in the past to just help with managing his schedule but, when Velvet told you about this job you didn't think it'd be this… But hey, surely over time it'd get better right?

Two weeks later

Yeah, are things getting better? Hell no, the first week was fairly smooth and basic the next week though you and Vox began to talk more, and god was he egotistical. You guys were constantly getting into debates with one another which usually started with you gently criticizing Vox and his decision-making on affairs but, it'd quickly spiral into you guys changing topics into how much the other sucked. Yet despite that, he hadn't fired you yet… Or worse. 

Vox was going to be coming in later than usual today because of this meeting he had scheduled with the other Vees so as any normal sinner would do, you just waited at Voxs desk, knowing he was going to come late and you sat in the chair he usually occupied. Was it a bad idea, sure but what the worst that could happen? You were working on some scheduling and afterward scrolled on your phone, and being plagued by boredom you fell asleep.

Vox was on his way after finishing a ‘productive’ meeting with the other Vees which ended up being Vox stopping Valentino from one of his meltdowns, over who knows what. Being drained he just wanted to recharge and figured he’d just have you take care of any events he would need to attend. While he was initially planning to get rid of you the first chance you get because he wasn’t exactly a fan of someone being this close to him for work. Having high expectations of others wasn’t exactly something Vox had, with

 good reason, well somewhat, those reasons get overshadowed by his inflated ego. 

Quickly though you did end up growing on Vox as an employee, he wasn’t exactly sure what it was about you but, after giving it some thought, he figured it was the fact you were a breath of fresh air instead of the sinners he normally employed. While your attitude he did find absurd sometimes, it was manageable for him since you never stepped too much out of place… You were still more professional than 90% of sinners and overlords he worked with, and you had some brains in your head which again, was something most in hell lacked (probably because the brains they had were fried after the copious amount of drugs they take.)

As Vox was heading towards his desk he heard… snoring? No that couldn’t be right, but as he poked his screen around in view of his chair there you were, fast asleep. Vox did find the fact you fell asleep in his chair funny but, at the same time, he needed to recharge and didn’t want to put up with anyone, including you right now. That being said, it was easy enough for Vox to conjure up another chair he could recharge in for the time being while you were sleeping. If it was any other circumstances Vox probably would’ve yelled at you for the audacity you had to sit and sleep in his chair, instead of working but, that was for another day. For now, Vox just wanted a break…

When you awoke you were greeted by a sight you never expected to see, Vox asleep..? While you were just realizing the situation in yourself still, you couldn’t help but laugh to yourself. Even though the situation itself wasn’t what you’d call funny, it was the idea that he fell asleep ironic because, from what you had seen and experienced, Vox was more of a workaholic so being asleep was unlike him. 

You took a picture of this moment to show Velvet later when you meet up knowing she’d want to see it herself. The most bizarre thing to you was the fact when Vox was indeed asleep that he would have one of those DVD-type logos bounce around his screen, except this was of The Vee’s logo. While Vox was asleep you thought about how you should be productive but, you didn’t feel the urge to be doing such as of now. What you did feel an urge to do is snoop around your boss's desk and see what you could find. Honestly, you didn’t wish to find anything incriminating (not that it would matter) you were just interested in the overload behind closed doors, and who could blame you? 

You started with poking around the general surface area which is when you made the realization you never truly allowed yourself to be familiar with your surroundings. It was spotless with not even a particle of dust occupying the space, but to the sides of the desk, three drawers stacked on one another worked as structural support. You had checked the right side first, and to your disappointment, there was nothing of interest to be found inside. Just some extra wires and such, what’d you expect? When opening the first drawer on the left though that disappointment quickly blossomed into curiosity. 

A photo of the radio demon laid flat on it, while at initial glance it might seem ordinary the more you observed it, the more that curiosity inside you grew. To the right of the paper, it was very poorly torn, while most of the image was removed, there was a part that wasn’t removed that grew your curiosity once more, an edge of the TV screen seemed to occupy the space, an older model to be clear, this photo was old. You didn’t take Vox to be exactly the sentimental type, so why would he keep such a thing? You wanted to ask him to figure out this seemingly tragic history but, a hollow pit grew in the back of your stomach because, you knew you couldn’t ask about it, for one you wouldn’t know how he would react and that kind of questioning goes way beyond your relationship with the overlord, and secondly you knew for a fact Vox wouldn’t take kindly to snooping, especially if it was something personal like you suspected. You set the photo back into the drawer the way you found it and decided that it was about time you stopped procrastinating and working.

Vox had awoken a few hours after yourself, his screen slowly adjusted to the setting around him, his vision beginning to turn on. He was greeted with the sight of you, still in his chair, working at his desk. “I see you’ve made yourself comfortable” You didn't even bother seeming scared as you hummed, “Yeah, I figured since you were asleep I'd take advantage to work more efficiently.” Vox chucked “Effectively work, sure, whatever you say.” the dripping sarcasm caused you to let out a laugh of your own, “Yep, efficient working is important!~” he nodded in agreement amused by your attitude. While this kind of behavior would usually piss him off you didn't do it to try to come off better than him or cocky. 

The rest of the workday went by quickly with you and Vox both having your affairs to deal with, so you only had a small chat here and there. Getting home you slip off your shoes and switch to some comfier clothing. As you were settling down a call appeared on your phone with Velvet’s contact showing up.

“Hey girl how's it going?” Velvet inquired in her usual tone. “Absolutely exhausted Vel, I just got home and can't wait to head to bed.” the conversation went on for a little while longer before you remembered the photo you took earlier today that you wanted to show Velvet. “Oh yeah I forgot to show you, look at this.” you share on your screen as the photo was earlier taken of Vox fast asleep, as you giggled at the photo once more Velvet was kind of shocked. It's not that she had never seen Vox asleep before, or looking as silly as he was at that moment but, the fact he so openly had done it while you were still present was shocking to her. Vox wasn't exactly the type of overlord that'd let anyone see him so normal. His whole persona was a perfect entity with no need for things other sinners might lust for. Yet he so openly broke that persona and you didn't even seem to notice! Velvet played along though figuring she’d inquire about the matter to Vox at a later date. 

“Hah, yeah he always looks like that when he sleeps it's hilarious girl.” Velvet soon ended the call because she had ‘matters to attend to’ leaving you in the silence of your loneliness. 

“Vox get in here now!” Vox unamused musters his best-interested tone making his way to her, “Whatever could be the problem, my dear?” Velvet then hummed, completely changing her tone with a more sinister undertone, “I just wanted to ask how work has been all” Vox's grin drops, “and since when have you been one for work talk?” Velvet shrugs, “Since when could I not check up on how a friend is doing Vox, after all, you haven’t told me how things have been with your new assistant.” Vox chuckles refilling his coffee mug. 

“They’re better than I expected them to be, it’s nice to know some sinners still have any kind of intelligence.” praise wasn't something that was easily given by an overlord such as Vox so Velvet hearing him acknowledge you in a way that wasn't completely condescending made her even more invested. “Is there anything else you need to bug me with, or can I go?” Before she could ask or say anything else Vox was already on his way. (Workaholic bastard-)

While Vox was a bit interested in why Velvet was so curious about your guy's relationship, he also had better things to do than try to understand Velvet’s mind. Right as Vox had gotten you out of his head a notification from your number came through, it was only the changed schedule for tomorrow though. Why would it be anything else though you are just his assistant, nothing more. That being said, why didn’t Vox dislike you, I mean usually whenever Vox has an assistant of some kind they’re not nearly as involved with his work life as you were yet they managed to agitate him much faster than you had. He wrote it off though as you being recommended by Velvet made him have a more positive impression of you. Even if it was something else he didn't care he needed to deal with the Radio Demon being back in town.

#hazbin fandom #aceyogurt #hazbin fanfic #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin hotel headcanon #vox x you #vox headcanons #vox hazbin hotel x reader #vox x reader #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox x reader #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #vox smut #vox x y/n #hazbin x reader #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel velvette

[islandofsages]

hi can i request the first year gang and Ortho asking m!yuu who can sing and play guitar to sing a song from his world (any song you like or want to write) because they are curious about what songs from yuu's world are like.

characters: first years x male yuu

tags: platonic, canon compliant, fluff, fic + imagines format; mentions of vil and malleus

warnings: none

author's notes: you guys sure like your first years huh?? also i forgot grim technically counts so i wrote him in lol,, plus i just wanted to :D

Another school day, another raucous scene in the cafeteria. You’re used to it at this point obviously. Your friend group is one noisy clique but you wouldn’t have it any other way. That day in particular, you brought your guitar along with you, in case you get bored as the day passes by (which is a likely possibility). It’s currently the topic of your friend’s conversation right now and has been for the past few minutes. You only chew your lunch, pretending to feel indifferent, but you’re amused beyond anything by their debates - and their attempts to get you to play it.

“C’monnnn, don’t be such a spoilsport! You brought it with you, you might as well play it!”

Ace urges, pushy as always. He makes a good point but you still shake your head at him. He pouts at your response.

“For once, I actually agree with him… C’mon, Yuu, pretty please?”

Epel chimes in, weaponizing his looks and the charisma classes Vil’s been pressuring him in. It almost convinces you but you refuse to surrender, just because sparkles twinkled out of someone as they bat their eyelashes cutely. Nuh-uh, no siree.

No, nothing will make you surrender… except if your friends would actually let you finish your damn food. You say this out loud and a silence fills the table for a few moments. They mutter apologies under their breaths as you exhale through your nose, satisfied with their response.

Once you actually finish eating, they almost immediately start to hound you to start playing. And by hounding, it’s mostly them watching you curiously and expectantly. You sigh and finally, pick up your guitar to fulfill your promise. They start to cheer but then with a look from you, they calm back down.

Inhale. Exhale. Your fingers start to waltz on the strings. Your voice reverberates after seconds of instrumental pass.

“We’re no strangers to love… you know the rules, and so do I…”

Ace Trappola

Wow.

He wasn’t really expecting much but you completely blew his mind

He doesn’t say that when you’re done with singing though; he only holds up his fingers, as if to rate it out of ten. You laugh at that

So songs from your world are like that, huh?

They’re not much different from what he can find in Twisted Wonderland but he found himself feeling more affected by the lyrics than he thought

He asks you why you picked such a tender love song to sing to everyone

You chuckle knowingly and tell him that you simply like the song - and there’s nothing else to it.

Deuce Spade

He gives you a standing ovation, big smile and everything

You have to ask him to sit down after it

His comments are simple enough, that he loves your voice and that your playing is really good but it’s enough to paint a light pink on your cheeks

Eyes wide with curiosity, he asks you if a lot of songs from your world are like that

You inform him that no, of course not, when it comes to music, your world’s is just as diverse as Twisted Wonderland’s

Ace teases him for it right after

He then confesses he’ll try to memorize the lyrics of the song so you guys can sing it together - and you raise no objection to it whatsoever.

Jack Howl

Even when you were playing, you could see his ears perking and twitching excitedly; you could only assume his tail was also wagging with much vigor

At the end of your performance, he shoots you an impressed smile and admits that your skills aren’t half-bad

You make a mental note to punt this goddamn tsundere later

You take his comment with grace and his smile grows wider with pride

He then continues by pointing out how cute the lyrics are and you jokingly reply that you forgot he’s somewhat of a romantic at heart. He tries to hide the blush on his cheeks then

Bashfulness aside, he proclaims that one day he wants to sing such lyrics from the bottom of his heart

And so he joins Deuce on in learning the lyrics with you - more for your army, you suppose.

Epel Felmier

He joins in on Deuce with the clapping but at least you don’t have to tell him to sit down

He marvels at your skills and at how manly you are

You sheepishly put your hand behind your head at his comments but you thank him nonetheless

He then adds that the song somewhat reminds him of the country love songs he would hear back in his hometown, though he admits that that may be because of the guitar rather than the song itself

You feel a little silly after hearing the song being compared to a country song but you suppose he has a point

He’d like to see you perform more songs this way - and if you’re willing, he’ll recommend Vil to you so the stories of your talent can be widespread!

You tell him you’ll consider it and hold back your tongue from mentioning the fact that you might go home by then, just so you can savor the possibility of playing the song in front of an audience.

Ortho Shroud

His eyes twinkle with amazement

And if you’re asking, yes, he’s already recorded your performance. Oh, don’t worry, it’s for analysis purposes. Unless…?

Jokes aside, he’ll make sure he tucks that piece of data somewhere safe and confidential - unless you want it to be shared, which he also doesn’t mind doing for you!

You take that into consideration. It’d be iconic but at the cost of your anonymity…

All the while, he questions you what other songs you can share

You almost pick up your guitar again as his eyes seem to plead you to do so

He definitely wants to hear you sing again; maybe pick up a few pointers to sound more human while singing himself too!

Sebek Zigvolt

Is he in tears????

No, you conclude, but it does seem that he’s affected emotionally. You didn’t think you had an inner Malleus in you

He remarks that your skills are above that of the average human (doesn’t matter if you’re actually human or not - you’ll have to bear with him)

You don’t protest and just take the compliment as is

To your relief, he doesn’t go on any Malleus-related tangent after, but maybe you’re the one who’s expecting more “Malleuses” to come out of his mouth

Add him to your gang of wanting to learn the song’s lyrics and you don’t bother guessing his motive

You’re not complaining - four people are enough to shake the world, you think.

Grim

He puffs out his chest with pride as if he’s the one who did the heavy lifting

He goes on to say of course you sound amazing, you’re his hench-human after all!

Then under his breath, you can hear it, his actual praise - your performance is so wonderful, he’s almost jealous

You giggle at it and when he asks, you shrug it off as nothing

You haven’t really showed off your talent to Grim despite living in the same place, you realize

That’s when you vow to him that you’ll give him more personal performances in Ramshackle - together too, if he wants

He agrees to it with a smirk and declares that if anyone’s ears want to be blessed, come on by to Ramshackle; and you have an inkling that he’s not actually talking about himself.

You only now notice how loud you were, considering now the whole cafeteria’s looking at you; some curiously, some irritated. You laugh nervously and apologize as loud as you played, everyone starting to turn back to whatever they were doing before. You even see a few familiar faces but you pay them no further mind. You turn back to your friends as well.

Their expressions seem to beg for more but you shake your head and tell them you’ll save more songs for another day. They seem to be a bit let down but at least it means that you’ll perform more in the future.

Little do they know that’s just one card up your sleeve.

#twst #twisted wonderland #platonic twst x reader #platonic twisted wonderland x reader #twst x male reader #twst x yuu #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #ace trappola x reader #ace trappola #deuce spade x reader #deuce spade #jack howl x reader #jack howl #epel felmier x reader #epel felmier #ortho shroud x reader #ortho shroud #sebek zigvolt x reader #sebek zigvolt #writing

[wheresarizona]

Learning to Live Part 24

summary: It’s just a regular Friday, until someone from Javier’s past comes to your work to reveal secrets he’s kept from you—it’s a lot to hear about the terrible things your boyfriend allegedly did in Colombia. 

rating: E (18+! Age gap (about ten years), Soft Javier Peña, Switch Javier Peña (He goes from very subby to very dommy), explicit smut, unprotected p in v (wrap it up!), creampie, oral sex (f and m receiving), deepthroating, a dash of mutual masturbation, light bondage (the tie is used again but on Javier), vaginal fingering, breeding kink, teasing, safe word usage, body worship (f and m receiving), dirty talk, praise kink (there’s a good boy), spit mention, begging, (1) spank, anal mention, angst with a happy ending, arguing, miscommunication, confessions, PTSD, nightmare (nothing graphic), emotional hurt/comfort, unhealthy coping mechanisms, Javier breaking down, some medical talk (nothing graphic), talks of the future, Javier quoting Gomez Addams)  

pairing: Javier Peña/f!reader (reader is a nurse with no physical descriptions)

word count: 19.1k (Buckle up, everyone)

a/n: Thank you so much for all of the love and support for this story, it means the world to me! I am very proud of myself for getting this done in less than two weeks. I might take a tiny break before the next chapter just so I don’t burn myself out. Big thanks to @juletheghoul for betaing!

Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs feed me. I’d love to know what you thought!

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Friday, November 6th, 11:23 AM

Laredo’s hospital wasn’t even half the size of the one you worked at as a nurse in Dallas, which meant not all of the specialties they had doctors for had separate wings. This translated to your post-operation department getting the majority of the patients from the various surgeries done. Someone had a double-bypass performed on their heart? You were the one taking care of them. Hip replacement? They’d be under your supervision. An appendectomy? Another of yours. Basically, as long as they weren’t a child or having a child, they were coming to your unit to recuperate. 

Compared to your last job as an emergency room nurse, this one was a breeze. The people you cared for were usually so hopped up on pain medication they either slept, watched television, or zoned out. The hospital wasn’t too busy, so you got to work regular hours with weekends off, compared to the multiple twelve-hour shifts you worked before, plus overtime. As an added bonus, the nurse who shared the shift with you had become your best friend. 

Honestly, you were thrilled you moved to this small border town. 

Well, except for all of the gossip. 

After the first time Javier had shown up at your work to take you to lunch, you’d been the talk of the hospital as the woman he was dating, and you didn’t care. Still, it gave you unwanted flashbacks to the messy end of your last relationship years ago when you caught your ex, a cardiothoracic surgeon, banging another nurse in his office and having to deal with everyone whispering about it, learning they all knew it’d been going on for months—you’d sworn off dating anyone in your workplace after that, much to your parents chagrin. 

At least here, it was people mostly shocked that your future husband was actually dating someone, making them curious about why you were so special. 

It’d been months now since your relationship began, and the fascination had dulled down a little. Unfortunately, though, Javier would always be a hot topic of discussion amongst the townspeople, whether it be about him leaving Lorraine at the altar, helping take down Pablo Escobar, eliminating the Cali Cartel, dating you, or his work with the Sheriff’s office—he was basically a local celebrity, and he hated it, which was completely understandable.

It was almost lunchtime, and a new patient had been brought to your wing as he recovered from a minor heart surgery. Reading his chart, he was seventy-two and had a history of cardiovascular issues, seeing one other major surgery had been performed a couple years prior. He was still sleeping while you set him up in his room, his wife having gone to the cafeteria for food. 

The sound of footsteps alerted you someone had entered the open door. 

“Knock, knock,” Robyn, your co-worker and best friend, greeted in her Texan accent. You’d already gotten your patient connected to his IV that was currently pumping saline through the line and were now clipping the heart monitor onto his finger, the steady beeping of his heartbeat suddenly filling the air. 

“What’s up?” you asked, glancing over your shoulder at her.

The other woman’s long, chestnut brown hair was up in a high ponytail, her lips painted in wine-red lipstick, and she looked nervous, which was odd.

“Are you almost done in here? You’ve got a visitor…” 

That had your eyebrows furrowing; not expecting to see anyone today. 

“That isn’t Javi…?” you clarified. 

He was the only one who came to see you at lunch. 

“No...” She shook her head. “This man ain’t from around here… He said his name was Bill?” 

That confused you even more; no one was coming to mind by that name. 

“Did he give you a last name?”

“I didn’t ask.” She winced. 

You snorted, shaking your head while turning your attention back to your patient as you double-checked your work to ensure everything was set up correctly. “I thought you learned your lesson about not asking men for their last names.” 

The busty brunette walked closer to stand at your side as she whispered, “First of all, Seb is hotter than hell, and I only cared about knowin’ the name he wanted me screamin’.” Sebastián was Javi’s cousin whom Robyn took home the previous Friday from the bar, having no idea he was a Peña until he’d come by your work Tuesday to take her to lunch, and you had way too much fun revealing his identity. “Second,” she continued, “I usually don’t bother gettin’ last names ‘cause they’re just one-night stands.” She shrugged. 

“He was at your place for literal days before you found out, which is crazy.” 

“With the things he was doin’ to me, it really wasn’t important,” she replied with a smirk.

“Mhmm, it didn’t matter, but now that you know, it fills you with insane amounts of joy that you found yourself a Peña.” 

She playfully slapped your arm. “Shut up. He is pretty great and stayin’ at mine for the weekend.” Her eyebrows wagged. 

“He’s been staying at yours for the last week…” 

“And how long has Javi been stayin’ at yours? That man came over on your third date and never left.” 

“Touché. Aren’t Peña boys the best?” 

“They really are.” Her voice went quiet, “Anyways, there’s somethin’ off about the man out there. He was askin’ if I knew where you were from and stuff about your family. Just odd things to ask a stranger, you know? So, I want you to talk to him in the hallway in case I need to call security and Javi, okay?” 

Her concern had your hackles rising, wondering who this person could be. 

“Yeah, of course.” 

After finishing what you were doing, the patient settled in and was being monitored, Robyn told you she would do her rounds to check up on her own patients and listen for any signs of trouble from you. 

Taking a deep breath, you readied yourself for whatever was about to happen, walking out of the room toward the end of the hall where the nurse’s station was. You noticed the man you’d never seen before leaning against the tall counter, looking your way with a smile. 

The top of his head was bald, his face featuring a long, raggedy salt and pepper beard, dressed in dark jeans and a charcoal grey button-up under a dark green denim jacket. 

“Hi,” you said as you approached, offering him your name, “—I heard you wanted to see me. How can I help you?”

He straightened, standing to his full height. “It’s more of how I can help you,” he replied, holding out his hand for you to shake. “I’m Bill Stechner, an old friend of Javier Peña’s.” 

“Okay…?” This guy was too old to have gone to college with him, and it was weird he used Javi’s full name if he was supposedly a ‘friend.’ Robyn was right. There was definitely something off about him, and add in you’ve never heard of him before; this all seemed a bit fishy. Quickly, you shook his hand. “What exactly are you helping me with…?” you asked. 

The smile on his face was almost predatory, and you didn’t like it one bit, unconsciously wiping your hand on your blue scrub pants. 

“We’ll get to that in a minute.” He waved away your question. “Javier and I used to work together, and since I’m in town on business, I was dying to meet the woman who managed to tie him down.”

So, he tracked you down? Found out where you worked and came here? That was a little much to go through in order to meet a former co-worker’s new significant other… This guy had warning bells going off in your head because something wasn’t right. 

“Okay…?” you replied, crossing your arms over your chest. “You met me.” 

“That I have, and I’m a little surprised.” 

“Why’s that?” Your eyebrow rose. 

“Well, based on the many, many women he had relations with in South America, I just wouldn’t expect you to be his type...” 

Your eyes narrowed. Who the fuck was this guy? He really hunted you down to imply you weren’t as pretty as the other women Javi’s been with—what an asshole. 

“Did you come here just to insult me? Because if that’s the case, you can fuck right off.” 

“No, it’s great he ‘fell,’” he said the word sarcastically, making your jaw clench, “for you, and it’s wonderful you’re looking past all of the prostitutes he used for sex and information.” 

It was weird this man felt the need to mention that, knowing a lot of your boyfriend’s informants had been sex workers he fucked, and it didn’t bother you—it had been a coping mechanism for the shit he was dealing with while down there, and he treated them well.

“Why are you bringing that up? Why are you even talking to me alone? You’re really not giving me a great first impression here, pal.”

He pressed a hand over his heart in faux concern. “I’m just looking out for your best interests and want to make sure you actually know the man you’re living with.” 

“Right, my best interests…” you replied, sounding doubtful and doing your best not to roll your eyes. “So, what is my boyfriend apparently hiding from me that you felt it necessary to bother me at work?” 

There was a tiny nervous fluttering in your belly over what this could be about, hoping it wasn’t anything serious, but having a feeling it was going to be about the one topic Javi avoided talking about: 

Colombia. 

“Javier and I go way back—I’ve known him for years, and we worked kind of closely while he was down in South America.” Your suspicion was correct, and you wouldn’t lie, you were curious about what he had to say. “I was wondering, did he tell you why he wasn’t there to catch Pablo Escobar?” 

All you knew was Javi fucked up badly and got sent home before they got the drug lord.

“Please, enlighten me.” 

“I get why he’d hide it from you in shame. I think if he ‘loved’ you, he would’ve told you all about what he’d done in Colombia and the crimes he committed working with Los Pepes.” 

That was a low blow, and what crimes?

“Los Pepes?” 

“Los Perseguidos por Pablo Escobar—The Persecuted by Pablo Escobar or Los Pepes were a paramilitary vigilante group created by opposing cartel members trying to kill Escobar, oh, five or six years ago. That boyfriend you share a bed with fed them classified information like locations of Escobar’s men and their family members, and boy, were they notorious for killing innocent civilians indiscriminately. They’d go after Pablo’s sicarios and kill anyone who had a connection to him or just happened to be there—wrong place, wrong time.” He shrugged the fucker. “Javier’s intel ended up starting a war between the Medellín cartel and Los Pepes, both sides murdering many innocent men, women, and children, and that’s why he was sent home before they caught Escobar. Did you ever hear about the bombing down there at a shopping center the week before school was about to start?” 

It took you a second to answer as you processed what he told you. “Vaguely,” you answered. 

“Killed a bunch of kids and their families while they were getting school supplies and clothes—we know it was Escobar who planted it, and it wouldn’t have happened if things hadn’t gotten so out of hand with the leaked information. If you don’t believe me,” he continued, “I brought this interview by one of the leaders of Los Pepes so you can read about it yourself.” That’s when you saw him holding a rolled-up newspaper in one of his hands, the header reading The Miami Herald. “It talks about Javier’s role in it all and how big it was—if he hadn’t given the intel, a lot of lives would’ve been saved.”

It was a lot to take in, hearing about what Javi had supposedly done, and it was harder to imagine him doing such things because he was a caring, kind, honorable, and good man—there was no way in your mind he would’ve condoned so many innocents dying, and with how odd this whole visit was, you were taking what Bill was saying with a grain of salt. There were probably some truths in there, but definitely not all because it made zero sense with the fact your boyfriend was twenty minutes away at his office, and not locked up in a prison cell. 

Fuck ‘looking out for your best interest,’ this man was trying to turn you against Javi by telling you these terrible things, making it clear he absolutely was not a friend of his—he did not come here with good intentions; it was crazy he even came here at all. What you were assuming with all of the effort he put into this was there was bad blood between the two men, and this was Bill’s way of getting back at him—what pissed him off so much he was keeping tabs on your boyfriend? If he found you and your place of employment, it looked like he was keeping tabs on you, too, which was a little scary. He said he worked with Javi, which made you think he was a part of an alphabet agency, maybe DEA? CIA? FBI? Whichever it was, he had the resources to be a fucking creep, and you hated what he was trying to do to your boyfriend, so you’d give him a taste of his own medicine and fuck with him a little.

“No,” you gasped in pretend shock, covering your mouth with your hands. “My Javi, really did these horrible things you’ve told me about?” 

Stechner tried to make his face look somber, but his gaze told you he was happy by your reaction. 

“Unfortunately, he did,” he replied, nodding his head. 

“He really did these horrible things that would’ve definitely landed him in prison had he actually done them?” 

Again, you knew there had to be some truth since he did get sent home. 

Bill frowned. “He got lucky...” 

Uncovering your mouth, you said, “Let me get this straight. Due to the classified intelligence Javi gave to this vigilante group, he started a war, and a lot of innocent people were murdered, but he ‘got lucky’ and avoided any and all jail time? Not only that, he was given a promotion to take down the Cali cartel… Something isn’t adding up here, Bob—”

“It’s Bill.” 

“You lost name privileges when you basically called me ugly, Dick. Now, as I was saying, something isn’t adding up here, Brad, and it’s the bullshit you’re trying to feed me since Javi already told me everything.” That was a lie, but this asshole didn’t need to know. “Was this how you were going to ‘help me’—” You made air quotes with your fingers. “Tell me some fucked up shit you thought I didn’t already know, and hope I’d what, break up with him? Were you just hoping to ruin his happiness? He hasn’t worked for the DEA in almost two years. Why are you so obsessed with him? Wait—” A look came over your face like you had a realization. “—are you in love with him?” you loudly whispered. “Are you trying to get me out of the picture so you can take him for yourself?” 

He looked disgusted. “What? No. That’s ridiculous.” 

“And you keeping up to date on Javi’s personal life and trying to sabotage his relationship, isn’t ridiculous? Ballsack, this is fucking insane!” You threw up your hands. “You’ve got a screw or two loose in your head. So—” You jabbed him in the chest with your finger as you glared. “Listen here, you greasy-haired fuck. I don’t know who the fuck you are or who you think you are, but you’re not going to scare me away with shit I’m all too aware of from his past. Now get the fuck out of here before I make you, and pray I don’t tell Javi about this ‘cause I don’t think he’d appreciate whatever this fucking game is you’re playing.” 

The plan was to call your boyfriend immediately to tell him everything.

Stechner scoffed, your arm falling as he set the newspaper onto the counter so he could slowly clap his hands. 

“Aren’t you a little firecracker,” he said, his arms crossing in front of him. “I see why Javier likes you. You’re smart, too—maybe too smart for your own good.” 

“That doesn’t sound threatening at all…” Your eyes rolled. 

“No, no, it’s not. You’re spunky and smart. Definitely too good for him. Does he know all of your secrets, too? Like the one you’ve kept from your family of how you failed the MCAT—” That was the Medical College Admissions Test. “—and couldn’t get into medical school, so you went into nursing instead? I’m sure your parents loved that.” You ground your teeth. “Do you hate not continuing the family legacy?” 

The answer was no because you didn’t give a single fuck about it and never had an interest in becoming a doctor—failing the test made you happy. It felt like a sign you were meant to do what you wanted and not what was expected of you. 

Glaring, you replied, “It’s honestly none of your fucking business. I’ve got work to do as a nurse, so if you’ll see your way out.” You started walking around the desk. 

“You may not have continued the legacy, but you’re still reaping the benefits of it. Just remember Javier likes using women—sex, information, money. You have something he wants, and once he’s gotten it, he’ll discard you just like the rest of them. I’ve known him for a long time, and he’s not a relationship kind of guy.” 

Anger was bubbling in your belly at the audacity of this fucker. 

There wasn’t a chance to respond when an alarm sounded from the computer on the desk monitoring patient vitals, seeing the one just brought in had gone into cardiac arrest. 

“Fuck,” you whispered, picking up the desk phone and quickly hitting the numbers to page the on-call doctor about the emergency before turning to get the crash cart against the wall behind you, rolling it down the hallway as quickly as possible. 

Robyn came out of a room. 

“We’ve got a Code Blue!” you told her as you passed. “Man the desk and get rid of that guy!” 

“On it!” She bolted in the opposite direction. 

This job was something you’d been doing for so long that you expected the unexpected and were intimately aware things could change in a split second. A calmness came over you in situations like this, focusing on remembering your training and doing everything in your power to save the person’s life. 

Time became a tricky thing because it felt like it stopped, yet it was also speeding by—you were doing chest compressions with gloved hands while trying to calm the frantic wife when the doctor finally arrived with another nurse, who escorted the crying woman out into the hall. 

Five minutes had passed since the alarm sounded, and it only felt like one. 

Assisting the doctor, you handed him items from the cart and did everything he said—the patient’s heart was beating, but he wasn’t completely stable. 

A glance at your watch told you twenty more minutes were gone that you hadn’t felt slip by. 

The call was made that a minor emergency procedure needed to be done with no time to get to an operating room. The doctor relied on local anesthesia while you and the other nurse helped.

When it was finished, forty-five minutes had disappeared in the blink of an eye, and the patient was finally on the mend. 

The doctor spoke to the wife in the hallway while you and your colleague cleaned the room, letting her in once you were done and wheeling the crash cart to the storage room to restock it—the cart itself was small enough that it was easy to maneuver down the hallways and into the tiny rooms, colored fire engine red with many different sized drawers full of supplies you’d need in an emergency. 

There was a sheen of sweat on your forehead, the adrenaline making your heart pound, and you couldn’t wait to drink some water when you returned to the desk, knowing your water bottle was there waiting for you. 

Your back was to the door while you stuffed gauze into a drawer, hearing it open and close and someone stepping inside. 

“So, my patient is okay,” you told Robyn. “A little impromptu surgery had to happen, and let me just say, I do not miss emergency medicine. I think I’ve been spoiled here with how chill things usually are.” Moving to a locked cabinet close by, you pressed a code on the keypad to resupply some medications in another cart drawer. “Today has been insane, though,” you said. Pausing, you remembered. “Oh god, I need to call Javi!” 

“I’m here,” he said, making you squeak in surprise as you spun around to find your boyfriend standing just inside the room. 

“Jesus, Javi, I thought you were Ro…” Your sentence trailed off as you took in his red-rimmed eyes and disheveled hair, his tie loosened around his neck with a clear look of upset on his face. “What happened, baby?” you asked. Quickly, you were closing the distance, cupping his jaw when you were within reach. “What’s going on, Javi? Is your dad okay?” 

It had you thinking the worst, with him appearing unexpectedly looking like this.

“My dad’s fine.” His lower lip was trembling. “I’m scared,” he whispered. 

“About what?” You pushed your fingers into his hair. “Tell me what’s wrong, baby.” 

“Stechner talked to you.” His eyes were tearing up. “He told you about Los Pepes before I had a chance to tell you the truth, and he gave you a copy of the interview. You must hate me now.” 

Your brows dipped together. “Babe, before I say anything else, you need to know I don’t hate you. Not even a little bit—I love you a lot.” 

A tear rolled down his cheek, his arms pulling you into him, crushing you against him in a hug, feeling his body shaking as he sobbed. “Oh, baby,” you soothed, rubbing your hands over the back of his grey suit jacket, hugging him back. “That creepy motherfucker came here trying to scare me, but I clocked his bullshit the moment he said I wasn’t your type. I didn’t really take much of what he said to heart because it was obvious he was trying to make you look bad, but I would like to go over things with you to know what was true. Everything’s okay, Javi, baby. I still love you—I’ll always love you.” 

His head came up with wet cheeks and reddened eyes. “The interview in the newspaper is bullshit,” he said. “Stechner’s with the CIA, and they were supplying Los Pepes with weapons and made her a deal to keep them out of it if she put everything on me. I gave them locations to a handful of Escobar’s men and fucking told them no civilians were to be harmed—I hated that shit.” 

It was a relief to hear the truth. 

Nodding your head, you replied, “This is why I called him out on his obvious lies. I knew you didn’t do all the stuff he said you did, and if you had, your ass would be in jail, and they definitely wouldn’t have made you the head bitch in charge to take down Cali.” 

He huffed out an amused breath. “Fuck,” he said, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I was so fucking scared I’d lost you.” 

“Absolutely not.” Your palms skimmed up his front to rest on his shoulders. “You definitely still have me.” 

Looking you in the eyes, he replied, “I’m gonna tell you everything today. Everything. I need you to know so this doesn’t happen to me again.” 

He held your hips.

“Only if that’s what you want.” 

“It is.” 

“Okay.” You smiled at him, using your thumbs to wipe away the wetness on his face. “It’s exciting that I get to leave work early for our first family emergency.” 

He was frowning. “You don’t have to leave early… I can wait for you at home…” 

“And spend hours stressing yourself out? Nope, not happening. The night nurse still owes me for covering those three days for her—she’ll come in if I ask. So, give me a little bit to finish here, and I’ll meet you at home. Can you drive, or do you want to wait for me?” Your fingers worked to fix his hair. 

“I can drive.”

“Then go to the apartment, take off these clothes—” You pulled on his jacket sleeves. “—get comfy on the couch and hang out until I get there. Can you do that, babe?”

Softly smiling, his eyes crinkling at the edges, he answered, “Yes, mi amor (my love).”

“Good. Now hurry and kiss me before Robyn comes in here to see if we’re fucking,” you said, puckering your lips.

He chuckled, his big hands gently cradling your face, like he was afraid you’d break, leaning in to kiss you tenderly. He melted into you, his body relaxing, his shoulders sagging—all of the tension in his body releasing, the relief evident that you were kissing him, that you still loved him, that he didn’t lose you. With your mouths fused, you imbued upon him your love, telling him with every caress of your lips that you were there, that everything was okay, that no one could ever get between you two. 

Things began to get more fervent, Javi losing himself in desperation when he deepened the kiss—his arms wrapped around you, turning you both so he could press your back into the hardened surface of the door, pushing his slack-covered thigh between your legs while his tongue plundered your mouth. 

This was something he needed—the intimacy, the closeness; he found comfort in your words, your touch, your body; knowing what you were doing soothed him and gave him peace. 

You had to wonder how long he’d been sick with worry. 

Had Stechner gone to his office right after seeing you? 

You suspected he had and probably knew Javi was in a meeting until noon, the creepy fucker.

Threading your fingers in his hair, Javi was kissing you passionately, his thigh pressing into your clothed pussy and gently moving it side to side—the friction against your clit had sparks igniting in your center, grinding yourself on him for more pressure while he pushed harder, it feeling so good.

A knock sounded behind you. “Y’all better not be doin’ what I think you’re doin’,” Robyn said, loud enough for you both to hear. 

Everything paused, and you detached your mouth from his, ignoring the pout on his kiss-swollen lips. “We’re not,” you answered her. “Things have stayed PG-13.” 

“Dirty Dancin’ is PG-13, and that shit is horny as hell.” 

You snorted. “We’ll be out in a minute.” 

“Is Javi okay?” 

Sliding your fingers into the hair above his ears, you pecked him on the tip of the nose, making him smile. “He’ll be okay.” 

“Good. I called Carla—” She was the nurse who owed you a favor. “—and she’s comin’ in to cover for you.”

“You’re a fucking lifesaver, Robyn,” you said. “Thank you.” 

“No problem. Just make sure to bring back the crash cart before you go.” 

“Will do.” Her retreating footsteps could be heard, and your attention focused on the man in front of you, his big chocolate-colored eyes on yours, seeing in his gaze that he didn’t want to leave without you. If you had to guess, he would be exceptionally clingy for the next couple of days, and that was okay. “Do you wanna keep me company while I finish restocking the cart?” you asked him. 

“Can I?” 

“Yeah, just don’t distract me.” 

“I won’t.”

That was hard to believe and made you smile.

“Uh-huh, okay, quick kiss, then I’m gonna finish my work.” 

Slotting your lips against his, you kissed him momentarily, a sad sound leaving him when you broke apart. 

Lightly pressing on his chest, you said, “May I please pass?” He had you caged in with your back to the door. 

“Oh, yeah,” he replied, taking a step away. 

Getting back to what you were doing, the task was easy enough—check each drawer and replenish what had been used. You moved about the room grabbing things, and Javi was your silent guardian who’d touch you when you were within reach—a hand to your lower back, your shoulder, a soft grab of your ass. When you were done, he was hot on your heels as you returned to the nurse’s station, putting the cart back where it belonged, and getting your water bottle from the desk, taking a few long, refreshing drinks. 

Robyn was in her seat, writing notes on a chart, Javi standing on the other side of the desk, patiently waiting. 

Her head turned toward you, waving you to her so you crouched down while she whispered quietly enough so your boyfriend wouldn’t hear, “Hey, what do you want me to do with that newspaper?”

“Did you read it?” you asked just as softly. 

“Yeah, I hope you don't mind. I didn’t know what it was.”

“It’s fine,” you reassured. “Be real with me. How bad was it?” 

“Bad. Like, if what she’s sayin’ is true, it’s really surprisin’ he’s not locked up.” 

“Yeah, not all of it is. That guy who brought it was a real piece of work. If he shows up again, call security immediately. He’s not welcome here.” 

“Will do, and the paper…?”

“Just throw it out. I don’t want to read it.” 

“I can do that. Now get goin’. I was real worried when poor Javi showed up lookin’ like an absolute wreck.”

“Yeah, I’ll explain later. Thank you!”

It was time to leave, your water bottle in one hand and Javi’s in your other. A quick stop had to be made at the locker room where you got your purse, your cell phone tucked inside, and showing the missed calls from Javi that made you frown. 

He was quiet, the kind of quiet where he was lost in his thoughts, letting his worries and fears consume him—something he hasn’t done in quite some time with how well therapy has been working for him. 

Stepping outside of the hospital, he paused, his eyes squinting in the sunlight as he looked over at you, scratching his mustache with his free hand. “Will you, uh, ride with me?” 

This was why you needed to leave work early—he wouldn’t want to be alone. He needed you with him. 

Smiling in reassurance, you replied, “Of course. We’ll come get my car tomorrow.”

A little smile appeared on his lips. “Thank you,” he said, ducking his head and leading you to where he parked.

His truck was taking up two spaces, cutting across them diagonally.

You were about to comment. 

“Don’t,” Javi said, unlocking the driver’s side door, it squealing as he pulled it open for you. “I know I parked like an asshole.”

Smiling, you patted his cheek as you moved to get in. “At least you’re aware.” 

He loudly sighed, following you into the cab, where you sat down in the middle of the bench seat beside him and buckled up, him following suit. Putting his aviator sunglasses on, his keys jingled as he fit one into the ignition, the truck roaring to life after a second, along with the whirring of the air conditioning. 

Shifting into reverse, his arm went behind you as he looked back to get out of the parking spaces, then he put it into drive, and you were on your way. 

Something on the passenger seat caught your attention, seeing a manilla folder. 

“Did you bring work home?” you asked. 

“What?” A look of confusion was on his face when his head turned toward you.

“The file.” 

The blinker clicked as he turned onto the street. 

“What file?” 

Picking it up, you showed him. “This file.” 

“Oh.” He squeezed the steering wheel so hard the leather loudly creaked while his attention returned to the road. “Stechner had that. It’s information on you.” 

Your stomach did a somersault, looking at the folder in your hand. “Did you read it?” you asked. 

“No, and I didn’t plan on reading it unless you wanted me to.” 

“That’s very sweet of you. Now let’s see how much of my privacy has been invaded,” you said, opening it. 

There was a small stack of papers inside, the first page showing your current driver’s license photo with all the details the DMV collected, such as your birthdate, height, weight, eye color, etc. It had your current address and the others you’ve lived at in the last ten years. 

This just looked like a fact sheet about you. 

“It’s crazy he had a dossier on me.” 

“I can believe it…” Javi mumbled. 

The next page featured your academic and employment history. 

“Javi?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I have a secret…” 

“Okay,” he replied, keeping his eyes on the road. 

“I want to tell you it…” 

He glanced over, softly saying, “Only if you want to.” 

“I do. You know how I told you I always wanted to be a nurse?” 

“Yeah?” His attention went back to driving. 

“Well, as you know, my parents kept my college money from me, and I had to work while also going to school, which was a big struggle—my sophomore year, I took the Medical College Admission Test to get into medical school so if I got in, my parents would pay for everything…” 

When he looked over, his eyes were rounded under his dark lenses. “Are you secretly a doctor?” he asked in a hushed voice. 

“What? No. I’m a nurse. I failed the test.” 

“Is that… okay?” He focused forward again. 

“Oh, yeah. My heart wasn’t in becoming a doctor, and yes, working and going to school was hard, but at least I’m doing what I wanted.” 

“You are.” He smiled. “And you’re damn good at it.” 

“Thank you! I helped save a man’s life today.” 

“You told me. I’m proud of you, mi amor (my love).” 

“Thanks. Okay, back to reading about my life.” 

The next page had your financial information, and you quickly closed the file, hugging it to your chest.  

Javi noticed, asking, “What’s wrong?” 

Turning your head to look at his beautiful profile, you asked, “Did he mention anything about me you didn’t know?” 

“Yeah, that you graduated top of your class which is really fucking impressive.” 

“I guess…” You hated acknowledging your achievements. “Did he say anything else…?” 

“No…? What are you worried he told me?” His eyebrows were pulled together when he chanced a look at you. 

Taking a deep breath, you thought over what to say. 

“I have another secret…” you finally said. 

There was a deep frown on his face. “With how you’re acting, I feel like I’m not going to like what it is…” 

“You know, I’m not entirely sure how you will react when you find out.” 

“Well, my head’s been fucked today, so my immediate thought is you’re already married or some shit.” 

“Who in the world would I be married to, Javi?” 

“I don’t know, maybe that David asshole who cheated on you.” 

“Daniel? Gross. I am not married… yet. The only person I’m marrying is you,” you said, knocking your shoulder against his. 

That made him smile. “Good. ‘Cause you’re the only person I’m marrying.” 

“There we go. It’s agreed.” 

“So, what’s this secret?” he asked, looking over quickly. 

“Oh, you don’t get to find out about it until we’re married, and my last name is Peña for legal reasons.” 

He was quiet for a second, and you could almost hear the wheels turning in his head, making you nervous.

“There was something he kept talking about that I didn’t understand,” Javi said, scratching at his chin. “It didn’t make any fucking sense to me, so I’m gonna ask you a question, and you can answer yes or no.” 

“What’s the question?” 

The truck was stopped at a light. 

“Are you secretly loaded?” 

Your heart stuttered. 

“Oh, he said something about money...” 

His eyes met yours. “He said a lot about money and how I was only dating you for it—yes or no, Cielito.” 

“Yes.” 

He nodded, his gaze returning to the road as the traffic light turned green, continuing your journey. “Are you gonna make me sign a prenup or whatever it’s called? Should I get a lawyer?” 

“My parents would be beside themselves if I didn’t, so no, I’m not.” 

His hand moved to your thigh, squeezing it. “Thank you for trusting me.” 

“I’d trust you with my life.” 

He smiled at you. “I’d trust you with my life. How much?” 

“Enough that our multiple children will get to go to their dream colleges and study whatever the fuck they want.” 

It was like you could see his brain break as he comprehended what you said, having to turn his head back toward the windshield. 

“Multiple?” he whispered, his throat working as he swallowed. 

Honestly, it was adorable that was what he got stuck on. 

You snorted. “I tell you I’ve got a good chunk of change, and you’re more excited over us having a bunch of kids.” 

His head whipped toward you. “A bunch of kids?” 

It made you giggle. “Babe, you are well aware we are having more than one. We’ll see how many I can pop out before my baby factory closes for business.” 

The smile he gave you was so big his dimple appeared. “I really fucking love you.” 

“I really fucking love you, too.” 

This was a good conversation to keep his mind off of the day's events, setting the file on the empty seat next to you and cuddling into his side, lacing your fingers with his over your thigh. He kissed the top of your head before his eyes were forward once more. 

“The house should have at least five bedrooms, maybe six,” he said. 

The previous night, he’d brought up the suggestion of building a house, and you loved it, especially getting to live so close to Chucho, the two of you talking at length about what you’d want it to have. 

“And yesterday it was four. At this rate, we’ll be at ten by tomorrow. How many babies do you want?”

“As many as you’re willing to have. I’d be happy with one or ten. It’s all up to you,” he answered truthfully. 

“My vagina hurts at the thought of pushing out ten babies. I think that’s too many.”

“Ten is too many, got it. At least three…?”

“I can agree to three, for sure, and we’ll just see how we’re feeling after that.”

“Three kids,” he breathed, a beaming smile on his face. “I’m gonna have at least three kids, a wife, a dog, a house—living the fucking dream. Fuck, this is exciting.” His hands tightened on the steering wheel. 

“You deserve it, baby,” you said, leaning to kiss the dimple in his cheek. “You’ve spent enough of your life suffering and atoning for your past. It’s time for you to get your happily ever after, and I’m gonna make all your dreams come true.”

His misting eyes met yours. “Thank you.”

“Nothing to thank me for. I just love you so fucking much and want you to be happy.”

“I love you, too, and you make me happy. You’re everything to me; my present, my future, it all belongs to you.” 

The rest of the ride was spent talking about nothing too important—asking how his meeting went that day, what he wanted to do over the weekend, what he’d like you to make him for lunch, keeping the conversation flowing all the way to him pulling into his spot at the apartment complex. 

It was important that he was comfortable for the discussion you were going to be having, so after you both got inside, doing your usual ritual upon first coming home—removing shoes, emptying pockets, etc., a trip was made to the kitchen where a quick lunch was put together of peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwiches with chips as a side. The dirty dishes were left in the sink as you pulled him to the bedroom, where you both changed out of your work clothes and into something more casual; for you, it was an oversized t-shirt and some soft sleep shorts. Javi kept his boxer briefs on and wore a plain white t-shirt that stretched over his chest and shoulders.   

There was silence again as he grabbed your hand this time and led you to the living room. He sat down on the couch, his back resting against the cushion with his knees spread, watching as you didn’t sit next to him like he expected but instead crawled into his lap, straddling his thighs with your chests pressed together. His arms automatically wrapped around you, your fingers pushing into his hair, knowing without a doubt talking like this would bring him the most solace.

His eyes were on yours as you kissed him, and he hugged you closer while your mouths melded, wanting him to feel your love and devotion. Your foreheads touched when your lips parted, his nose nudging yours. 

“Do you want me to tell you what happened?” you softly asked. “I meant to call you, but one of my patients tried to die on me, which is why I didn’t answer my phone.”

“I, uh, thought…” 

“I was ignoring your calls because your brain was being an asshole and making you think the worst?” 

“Yeah… And when I called your work, Robyn was, uh, abrupt with me.” 

“Oh, I don’t think she did it on purpose. Code Blues are stressful.” 

“Yeah, I don’t think she did either. What did he say to you?” 

“I’m not entirely sure what his game plan was because he started off the conversation by rubbing it in my face that you’ve slept with a lot of women, and definitely implied that, I am not as attractive as them.” 

“That fucking prick,” he seethed. “You know you’re gorgeous.” 

“I know I’m gorgeous to you, and that’s all that matters. Like, you’re very aggressive in making sure I know you’re attracted to me.” 

His big hands grabbed your ass and squeezed while he kissed you. “Fucking beautiful,” he murmured against your lips. “Of course, I’m going to tell you.” 

Pulling back, you looked him in the eyes. “Yeah, he lost all my respect and name privileges after that.” 

His eyebrows creased. “Name privileges?” 

You snorted. “Yeah, I called him things that weren’t his name just to be petty.” 

He smiled. “I love you.” 

“I love you, too,” you replied and continued telling him about what Stechner had to say about Los Pepes and how you called him out on the lies by fucking with him. “—there was something that really bothered me, and it was the last thing he said about you liking to use women for sex, information, and money—which I know isn’t true. I just hated this guy's perception of you, which a lot of people seem to share. You’re not like that. Our first fight was literally about how you wanted us to contribute equally, and I’m pretty sure I initiate sex more than you.” 

He nodded his head. “Yeah, you do. I haven’t fucked anyone more or had someone want me so bad—it makes me feel really good about myself.” 

Smiling, you said, “You’re adorable. So, that was it. I didn’t read the newspaper.” 

“Good.”

You frowned. “Kinda sucks, I could’ve accidentally come across it without knowing the truth... That stings a bit.” 

He grimaced. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’m not angry at you or anything, and I still love you with all my heart. This is gonna be a lot to take in. Are you nervous?” It was showing on his face.

His throat bobbed as he swallowed. 

“Yes,” he whispered. 

Your nails scratched lovingly at his scalp, your gazes locked. “Don’t be. Relax, and just talk to me. Tell me all the terrible shit, and know that I’m still going to love you anyway.” 

His mouth was turned down in a frown, seeing his eyes getting watery. “Promise?” he asked. 

Sitting up a little, you held your pinkie out before you. “I pinkie promise, and you know the sanctity of a pinkie promise.” 

He smiled a little, huffing out a breath while looping his pinkie around yours to seal the promise. You brought his hand up to kiss it. “There,” you said. “You’ve got nothing to worry about.” 

Javi sniffled. “Okay. Let me hold you.” Wrapping your arms around his torso, you pressed your front to his, tucking your chin on his shoulder while he hugged you close. 

He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. 

“Fuck, where to start. You probably wanna know more about Los Pepes.”

“I’m curious, yes.”

“Okay, well, that shit happened because a man died. His name was Horacio Carrillo…” He started by telling you who the man was: the first head of Search Bloc until it was disbanded because of how ruthless he was; he went to Spain for a while, then returned to head Search Bloc again, and was the only man Pablo Escobar ever feared.

“—he, uh, was really fucking determined to take down Escobar,” Javier said, “no matter what it took. He… Fuck, he even killed a kid…”

It was bad enough he’d gotten a former president’s daughter killed, but a child?

“What?”

“Yeah.” The emotion was heavy as he spoke. “The cartel used children as spotters, and one night, he rounded up some and shot one to set an example. He didn’t fucking care. It was too fucking much for me, baby. A kid. A fucking child. He just shot him in the head. A kid,” his voice cracked on the last word. 

“I’m so sorry that happened, and you had to see it,” you said, hugging him tighter. 

His hand moved to wipe his eyes. “I’m sorry it happened, too.”

“How did Carrillo die?”

“Me. I got him killed—I got him and his men killed.”

“What happened?”

“I fucked up…” An informant played him, she just didn’t know it at the time—she gave him what she thought was the location of Escobar, which turned out to be an ambush. Javier and Steve would’ve gone with Carrillo if it had been their choice, but bureaucracy ended up saving their lives, and now Javi lived not only with the guilt of getting the men killed but also surviving.

He was speaking roughly through his tears as he recounted everything. This was only a fraction of what he’d gone through, and it was all so awful. No wonder he was so messed up; he went through so much down there, and your heart was hurting for him. 

“—Los Pepes forced me to meet with them, and I couldn’t fucking believe they were asking me to help them—thought it was a fucking joke; the people I was trying to put away wanting my help? Of course, I turned them down. Then the guy who took over heading Search Bloc wanted to use really dated methods to try and get Escobar—shit like search grids, which wouldn’t fucking work. That informant who screwed me over? She led us to a man working for the cartel, and when we followed him, we found one of Pablo’s top sicarios. I tried to do things right. I called for backup, but they fucking denied me, and I couldn’t let this guy get away.” He inhaled deeply. “You have to understand. I spent years of my life trying to get Escobar, and this happened not too long after my mom died, so I was desperate. I was still grieving and hating all the time I lost with her, and I had to get the bastard, so it wasn’t all for nothing.” He spoke slightly softer, “I just wanted to catch him like mi mamá (my mom) always said I would.”

“You wanted to make her proud, even though she was always proud of you.” 

“Yeah… So, I felt like my hands were tied, and I made the call to Los Pepes. We got the guy, and I told them I’d give them intel, but I was only about killing Pablo Escobar, nothing else. I didn’t have to cut through any red tape with them, I called, and they went after the fuckers—it was easy. I gave them, I don’t know, five or six tips? Then shit got out of control between them and the cartel, and I was out. Killing sicarios is one thing, but innocent people? Fuck that. I didn’t sign up for that. I… I tried to save a lawyer who worked for Pablo.” He sniffled. “Knew where he was and kept it to myself ‘cause he had his kid with him—a teen son, and I wanted information from him. Another guy I worked with ratted them out to Los Pepes, and I found them both dead and stuffed in a trunk. I should’ve fucking made sure I wasn’t being followed.” 

His body shook as he cried. 

This man felt so much guilt over the deaths of these people, and he didn’t even pull the trigger. There was no way for him to know Carrillo would be so merciless and have it in him to kill a child. Javi had no reason to doubt the intel he’d been given by the informant was a trap. He’d done his best to protect the lawyer and his son but was betrayed. Other people did these dirty deeds, yet the man you loved felt responsible because he cared so damn much. 

Him caring was his downfall. 

Along with his desperation. 

It made him take significant risks, like working with his enemy.

“Oh, babe,” you whispered, turning your head to kiss his neck. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“Feels like my fault.” 

“It wasn’t.” 

“Fuck.” He sniffed, wiping his eyes again, having calmed down a little. “So, one of the leaders of Los Pepes wanted to turn on the rest and came to me for a deal. I got it approved, but fucking Stechner got her right out from under us and had me take the fall for Los Pepes and all the shit they did.” 

“A coup.” 

“A fucking coup.” 

“Are you okay?” 

“Yeah.”

“You wanna keep talking?” 

“Yes. I think I told you the sex workers I’d meet up with were also used by Escobar’s men, and I’d pay them for any information they’d give me?”

“Yeah.”

“The first time I met up with one, her name was Carina. I only wanted to hear what she heard, and that was it, and I told her upfront the reason I was paying for her time.” He sighed. “My mistake was doing it at the brothel because she told me what she knew, and then I couldn’t leave without seeming suspicious or looking like a really bad lay—both things I didn’t want. Well, we had time to kill, and she was beautiful and willing, and yeah…” 

“Ohhh nooo,” you deadpanned. “Sex with a beautiful consenting woman, the horror.”

He pinched your hip. “I couldn’t finish.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah, she may have been consenting and beautiful, but it turns me off if I can tell the person I’m with is faking, and she was faking. Nice girl, though, and I did pay for the sex, but I didn’t make that same mistake. For a while, I’d only pay the girls I saw for their intel, and as we got to know each other better, the sex came naturally, and I became a favorite.” 

“Of course you did.” 

There was a pause, hearing him audibly gulp. 

“Being a favorite almost got one of them killed,” he whispered.

“Oh, Javi,” you gasped. 

“Her name was Helena, and because I didn’t save her in time, worse things happened to her.” He was getting choked up. “It was all my fault.” His breath stuttered. “She was just trying to get me information and got caught, and they did horrible fucking shit to her. It haunts me how I… Fuck.” He took a deep breath. “It fucking haunts me how I found her—everything that happened to her was because of me.” He was crying again. 

You hugged him hard, kissing his jaw. “You still saved her life. She’s still alive, and that’s all that matters.” 

“I shouldn’t have had to save her life. I shouldn’t have made her feel like she needed to take such a big fucking risk,” his words were laced with anger at himself. “Because of me, that poor girl is traumatized and has to live with what those monsters did to her, and I fucking hate that they didn’t suffer as we killed them. They should’ve felt more pain than they caused her and had to beg for death—they got off too fucking easy, and I hate it.” 

Before now, based simply on how awful things were in Colombia, you thought there was a possibility your boyfriend may have killed someone in the line of duty. 

He had never brought it up and had always been somewhat vague about his work with the DEA. 

This confession? It had thrown you a little off-kilter at the reveal the man you were going to marry had killed multiple people, and not only that, but you were pretty fucking sure he had also dabbled in torture. 

“They definitely deserved to suffer, and it’s absolutely wild I’m saying this: I’m sorry you didn’t get a chance to torture them—I know you would’ve done a great job.” Maybe that was too supportive… “What happened to Helena?” 

It was silent for a second. 

“Javi?” 

He spoke slowly, “Did you just encourage me to torture people and say I’d do a great job?” 

“Javier, before this conversation, I never had confirmation you’ve killed someone, and now I do, and it’s apparently multiple someones, along with a side of torturing, which is a bit of a curveball. None of it freaks me out, per se. It’s just a lot to process, and based on what you said these horrible monsters did to Helena, slow and painful deaths sound warranted—I’m doing my best to comfort and support you while also absorbing all of the new lore about husband-to-be.”

“I’m sorry for throwing you a curveball...”

“If I’m being honest, I feel even safer with you and a little better about the gun you insist we keep in our bedroom.” That was the topic of your second fight when Javi sprung it on you two days after moving in that he’d gotten a small briefcase looking safe to keep his gun in under the bed—you previously worked in an emergency room in a big city; you knew what guns could do and weren’t a fan. 

“‘Cause now you’re aware I know how to use it?”

You didn’t even have to look at him to know his eyebrow was raised. Sitting up, you were met with the expression you expected. 

“Okay, first of all, you’re a Texan, and Texans have a weird fucking obsession with guns. Add in you’re also a cop, and it’s honestly surprising you only have one.”

“The others are at Pop’s.” Of course, they were. “I just brought over what I need to protect us.” Holding up his right palm to you, his fingers slightly spread, he said, “Feel my hand.” 

“Feel your hand…?” 

“Yes,” he replied, nodding toward it. “Feel it.” 

“Okay…” Not entirely sure what was going on, you did as he said, sliding the fingers of your left hand over the rough skin on his palm. 

“Feel the calluses?” 

There was the one you first touched and some on his fingers. 

“Yeah?” 

“How do you think I got them?” 

Meeting his eyes, you took a guess. “I’d had thought from working on the ranch doing manual labor.” 

“No, these are gun calluses from using my service weapon so much.” 

“Oh.” 

Grabbing your hand, he brought your knuckles to his lips as he kissed each one, the contrast of rough and soft, taking your breath away. 

“Yes, I’ve killed when I had to,” he murmured, keeping his gaze on yours. “I’ve done things to make people talk when I had to. I never particularly liked doing any of it, but I had a job to do.”

“I know you did.” 

He nodded once. “I want you to feel safe with me,” he said, kissing the center of your palm. “I want you to know I’ll do anything to protect you. Anything. You’re safe with me.” 

I’ll kill for you.

Was what he wasn’t saying out loud.

“I know I’m safe with you.” 

“Good. It took a lot of work, but I got Helena out of Colombia to the US. It was something I needed to do after all she’d been through.”

“Have you heard from her?” 

He huffed out a breath. “No. I don’t even know where she is. None of the girls I got out of there ever contacted me again, and why would they? We got what we wanted out of each other.” His lips turned down, frowning. “I’ve always worried about her and hope she was able to have a good life.” 

Pushing back his bangs, you told him, “I bet she met a lovely man who treats her right and takes care of her, and they got married and had a bunch of babies.” 

“That’d be nice. She deserves that.” He frowned. “I feel really fucking guilty about using the sex workers as informants and putting their lives in danger.” A loud sigh left him. “And sleeping with them. It was all fucked up.” 

“Yeah, it makes sense you’d feel guilty. Especially with what happened to Helena.”

“Yeah.” His eyes closed. “Jesus, there’s still so much more I need to tell you.” 

“Then lay it on me.” 

He looked at you with big pleading eyes and didn’t even need to ask; you cuddled back against him, hugging him while he held you. His body was relaxed, and when he started talking, he didn’t stop. 

It was a barrage of new information you had to process as quickly as possible while he got more and more upset by each thing he told you—a lot of people who were promised safety either: almost getting killed, being exploited, kidnapped, or murdered. 

What you came to realize was he felt intense guilt about things he did and didn’t do, and the stuff he was guilty of? Haunted him, tormented him, he was covered in invisible wounds that gaped and constantly bled, keeping his sins fresh on his mind—no matter how hard he tried to close them and forget, the stitches always seemed to break and ooze. No wonder he took to therapy like a duck to water; it was probably the first time he’d known peace since college. 

Then that fucker Stechner had to show up and undo all of the hard work Javi’s put into himself. 

For you, it was a lot to take in. None of it made you think any differently of him. Instead, it gave you a better understanding of what he’d gone through and why he felt so poorly of himself. Yes, he did some terrible things and paid the price for them, having been remorseful about them for all these years. 

In your mind, he was still a good man.

In your heart, you knew if he could go back in time, he’d do things differently. 

That was all that mattered. 

What really got to you was he’d been through hell—actual hell with all of the death and violence, Javier waking up every morning, never knowing if it’d be his last, and doing his best to survive. Living like that can turn you into a hard shell of a person, yet he managed to keep his softness. 

If you had to guess, it was probably because of his mother—she was his soft spot, even after she passed. He had pictures of her in his apartments in Colombia and her rosary, keeping her alive with him and his humanity. 

He was bawling in your arms about how he almost got General Hugo Martínez’s son killed by Los Pepes because he tipped them off and barely managed to get the young man out of the situation. 

“—I fucked up so bad. I was always fucking up, and people died because of me. I was so focused on the job I became a heartless, fucking monster,” he sobbed. 

“Hey, that’s not true,” you replied. “Yeah, you made mistakes, but like with Los Pepes, when things took a turn, you backed out and even tried to save a guy. You’re not a heartless monster. You’ve never been a heartless monster. You cared a lot about your job and getting it done, which caused you to do some really questionable things, but you still had a conscience—you weren’t murdering children in cold blood. You still cared about people. Javi, it’s not up to me to judge you for the stuff you did in the past, and I know how all of it eats at you, but you need to let it go.” His breaths had evened out, hearing him sniffling by your ear. “I love you, every part of you, even the imperfections, and I’m not going anywhere.”

He sounded stuffed up when he asked, “You’re not?” 

“Nope. You’re stuck with me for the rest of your life. You know, ‘til death do us part, and all that jazz, but I’m taking a page from your dad and following my soulmate into the afterlife. So, life and death, you’re never getting rid of me.” 

“I wouldn’t want to. It took me too fucking long to find you—I’m following you wherever you go.” 

“This is giving me Romeo and Juliet vibes.” 

“Your family does hate mine…” 

It wasn’t so much that your family hated his, they just thought they were better with their money and prestige and couldn’t fathom why you’d want to be with someone who couldn’t afford a life of luxury. 

Speaking of them, there’d been hardly any contact in the last couple of months because it finally got through to them that your relationship with Javi was serious, and he wasn’t going anywhere. The last call you had with your mother was a week or so ago, and she asked when you’d be making your annual trip to visit them in December; Begrudgingly, she even invited your boyfriend with the caveat he would have to stay in a guest room, which was beyond absurd. She didn’t take it well when you told her you wouldn’t be coming this year and that you’d mail her Christmas gift.

Moving, you sat up, sliding your hands up his t-shirt-covered chest, softly skating over the sides of his neck to his jaw, tenderly holding it as you leaned in to kiss him; something sweet, gentle. When you broke away, his eyes were closed, his lips turned up, and his cheeks shining in the light of the room. 

Using your thumbs, you started wiping at the wetness on his face. 

“But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?” you recited. “It is the east, and Javier is the sun.” 

Those big brown eyes of his blinked open. 

“No, you’re the sun.” 

That made your eyebrow arch, your hands stopping. 

“I’m the sun? Why am I the sun?” 

He was rubbing your hips. 

“Because you’re bright and beautiful. Your warmth gives me life and helps me grow. The last reason is obvious.” He crookedly smiled. 

Frowning, your brows furrowed, not knowing what he meant. 

“Apparently, it’s not because I have no idea.” 

Reaching, his big hands held your face. 

“My world revolves around you. You’re the center of my universe. No puedo vivir sin ti porque eres todo para mí (I can’t live without you because you’re my everything). Prometo que soy tuyo por siempre (I promise, I am yours forever). Mi corazón, mi cuerpo, mi alma, son tuyos (My heart, my body, my soul, they are all yours). Te amaré hasta mi último suspiro y haste que mi corazón deje de latir y luego esperaré a que me encuentres de nuevo al otro lado (I will love you until I take my last breath and my heart stops beating and then I will wait for you to find me on the other side). Yo soy tuyo, y tú eres mía, por siempre en la vida y la muerte (I am yours, and you are mine forever in life and death).” 

Your eyes were burning with unshed tears. 

“God, you know how emotional I get when you go all Gomez Addams on me.” 

He only knew who that was because you’ve made him watch the recent movies… multiple times. 

A smile appeared on his face. “Moriría por ti (I would die for you),” he said. “Mataría por ti (I would kill for you). De cualquier manera, qué alegria (Either way, what bliss).” He winked. 

Your eyes had gone round. “Javier, that is illegal.” 

He chuckled. 

Playfully, you smacked his chest. “I’m serious. Straight to jail. You’re not allowed to quote Gomez when I can’t be horny about it, and right now, we are having a very important discussion.” 

“I’m sorry, Cielito,” he replied, pulling you down for a kiss. 

When you separated, your faces were close enough your noses were touching, the tip of his nuzzling against yours. 

“How do you feel?” you asked, barely above a whisper. 

“Tired,” he sighed. 

“Makes sense. Is there anything else I should know?” 

“I don’t think so.” 

“I’m sorry it all came out like this,” you said. “If I ever see that motherfucker again, I’m punching him in his stupid face for all the shit he’s put you through. I hate him.” 

“I punched him.”

That made you pull back, your gaze on his. 

“What?” 

“I punched him.” 

“When?” 

“Today.” 

Your eyes widened. “Which hand?” 

His eyebrows pulled together. 

“Right?” 

“Let me see it.” He brought it up to you, and you took it in your hands to inspect his knuckles, noticing some redness. “Does it hurt?” you asked. 

“Not really.” 

“Nothing feels broken?” you inquired, moving and wiggling his fingers. 

He snorted. “Mi amor (my love), I know how to punch.” 

“People who know how to punch can still fuck up their hands. Do you want me to ice it?” 

“No, baby. I’m fine.” 

“Are you sure?” 

His hand pulled from your grip to cradle your cheek, making you look at him. A soft smile was on his lips. “Cielito, I promise I’m okay.” 

“You pinkie promise?” 

An exasperated breath left him, holding up his right pinkie. “I pinkie promise.” Hooking yours around his it made you feel better. 

“Okay. Why’d you punch him?” 

A grumpy expression came over his face. “Because I thought he got you to leave me, and it was about fucking time I did.” 

“I’m happy you did. He deserved it.” 

“Yeah, he did.” 

“Is he pressing charges?” 

Javi did assault the guy, even if he had it coming. 

“No. I threatened his job, and Joy heard everything.” 

The Sheriff’s assistant was lovely and a big supporter of your relationship with your boyfriend. She confided in you she had a trick for making Javi less grumpy at work, and it was asking or talking about you. Apparently, it completely turned his mood around, and he had no idea, which was delightful.

“Well, that’s good. She’d have your back.” 

“Yeah, she did.” 

His mouth opened, letting out a big yawn, triggering you to yawn, too. 

“Wanna take a nap?” you asked through it. 

“That’s a great fucking idea.” 

Checking your watch, it was half past three, realizing you’d been talking for a couple of hours. 

“Let’s go take a quick shower, then get in bed. We can order pizza for dinner.” 

“Sounds good. Un beso, por favor (One kiss, please),” he said, grunting as he sat up straighter to get closer to your face. 

Smirking, you grabbed his chin in your hand, his heavy-lidded eyes on yours. 

“Un beso (One kiss)? No tienes el control para un solo beso (You don’t have the control for only one kiss). No sobrevivirías con uno solo (You wouldn’t survive with only one).” 

“Tienes razón (You’re right). Necesito dos besos (I need two kisses).”

“Necesitas dos besos (You need two kisses)? No más (No more)?” 

“Hmmm, tuve un mal día y me siento triste (Hmmm, I did have a bad day and I’m feeling sad). Tienes razón, dos no es suficiente (You’re right, two isn’t enough). Mi amor, ¿me besarás hasta que me sienta mejor (My love, will you kiss me until I feel better)?”

“Sí, mi futuro esposo (Yes, my future husband). Te daré tantos besos como necesites (I will give you as many kisses as you need),” you replied, pressing your lips to his and feeling him smiling. 

Many kisses and minutes later, the two of you found yourselves freshly showered under the blankets of your shared bed, your bare fronts pressed together and legs intertwined, his arms wrapped around you to hold you close against him. 

Your head was beside his on the same pillow, sliding your fingers into his damp hair and toying with it while you lay there. 

“I’m sorry about what happened today,” his voice was quiet. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I mean, the whole thing was fucking insane, and I can’t believe you’ve literally got enemies who want to destroy your life, but I’m okay. Are there any other archnemesis I should be aware of? Any other CIA dudes?” 

“No.” 

“FBI?”

“No.”

“Secret Service.” 

“Oh, yeah.” 

“Really?” you harshly whispered. 

“No.” 

Glaring, you tugged on his hair as you replied, “Asshole. But you’re sure no one else has it out for you besides She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named?” 

Fucking Lorraine.

He thought it over for a second. 

“I think you’ve met them all. The others are either dead or locked up.” 

“I guess that’s good.” Exhaustion was catching up to you, your eyelids feeling heavy. “I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” 

Closing your eyes, you said, “Mmkay, it’s sleepy time. Night, babe.” 

“Night, Cielito.” He leaned forward to kiss your forehead. “Thank you for loving all of me,” he whispered. 

“No reason to thank me,” you replied, snuggling closer to him. “Loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.” 

“Loving you is the best thing I’ve ever done.” 

It was getting hard to stay awake, feeling so out of it, your thoughts thick and slow like molasses, almost like you were drunk. It didn’t even register that you said out loud the first thing that popped into your head after hearing what he said. 

 “Mmm,” you mumbled. “Marry me…” 

Sleep came for you, pulling you down into a dreamless abyss. Maybe you were dreaming it, thinking you might’ve heard the quietest, yes. 

An hour passed. 

At some point, you rolled out of Javi’s arms, seeking cooler sheets. 

Another hour went by.

Jostling woke you, it taking you a second to reorient yourself with your consciousness, realizing the interruption was your boyfriend beside you thrashing—not violently, it was very mild, his legs and arms moving enough you felt it. 

“No,” he softly whined, and your eyes flew open. 

It was a nightmare. 

He was having a nightmare. 

“No, no, no,” he continued. “Please, no.” 

Your first instinct was to wake him up and save him from the misery, but that could do more harm than good or possibly elicit a violent reaction. All you could do was let him work through it and hope his sleep shifted to something more peaceful. 

Keeping your ears peeled, you listened for if he needed you. 

A minute later, he went still, and you let out a relieved breath. 

Sunlight crept through the cracks in the blinds behind the blue linen curtains, bathing the room in a soft glow. The only sounds you could hear were the hum of the air conditioner and people walking around in the apartment above yours. 

Maybe if you cuddled him, it would make him feel better. 

Getting ready to face him, he suddenly shouted Cielito, his body bolting upright while his chest heaved in heavy breaths. 

Immediately, you turned toward him; the sheets were pooling at his waist, his eyes wide open, and you reached to touch his arm, Javi jolting when you made contact. 

“It’s me, baby,” you reassured. “It’s just me. I’m here.” 

He looked at you with tears streaming down his cheeks, a layer of sweat making his skin glisten.

“You’re here,” he breathed. 

“I’m here.” 

“You’re not there.” 

Those three words made your heart break, wondering what terrible things he was dreaming about.

“No, Javi. I’m here at our apartment in Laredo with you. We’re home.” 

“We’re home.” He swallowed thickly. “I’m at home with you. Fuck.” His palms pressed to his face. 

“What do you need?” 

His hands fell, big, round eyes meeting yours, seeing his distress. 

“To forget.” 

Moving, you sat up. “Okay, we can either go watch a movie in the living room, or I can make you come.” 

“Make me feel good. Please.” 

“I can do that, baby,” you said, leaning in to kiss him. He cupped your cheeks, deepening it with a press of his tongue between your lips, welcoming the intrusion, and tangling yours with his in the way he liked. 

As far as you knew, this was the first nightmare he’d had at home with you, and his desperation for you to make it all go away was palpable—you could feel his need. A large palm lowered to fondle the familiar weight of your breast, moaning when he rolled your pebbled nipple between his fingers. Scooting closer to him, without looking, you uncovered his waist to get your hand where he was starting to harden, wrapping your fingers around his length, languidly stroking him. 

The kissing was messy as he rapidly grew in your fist, his palm skating down to the apex of your thighs, gasping when two thick digits slid through your slit—gathering some of the wetness pooling at your opening, he used it to easily glide his fingers over your perky little clit, circling it so sparks of arousal danced in your belly. 

This was about him wanting to forget, and you had some ideas on how to achieve that, needing to get him nice and hard before you began. 

The need to breathe became too much, and he nipped at your bottom lip, kissing along your jaw to your neck, making you hum in pleasure when he sucked on your pulse point. 

His lips trailed up, feeling his hot breath at your ear, his voice a rough, soft rasp, “Let me eat your pussy.”  

“I’m making you feel good, baby,” you answered, his cock at full-mast in your hand. He moved to look you in the eyes with a little frown on his face. “I’m gonna make you lose your mind first, and then you can do whatever you want to me.” 

The pink of his tongue peeked between his lips, nodding his head once. 

“I know you trust me, but are you okay with me tying you up?” you asked.

His eyes darkened, and he nodded his head again. 

“Words, Javi,” you said. “I need to hear it.” 

“Yes,” he whispered. 

“Be right back.” You quickly kissed him. “Get comfy in the middle.” 

Getting out of bed, you went to his dresser, reaching into his tie box to grab a black patterned tie. 

The blankets had been kicked to the end of the mattress, and he stacked some pillows behind his back to prop himself up in the spot you requested, his dick hard and leaking precum in the trail of hair on his lower belly. 

“God, you’re pretty,” you said as you got onto the bed, crawling towards him.

He spoke so softly, “Not as pretty as you.” His lips were curled up in a tiny smile as he looked at you, thinking it was sweet he was trying so hard to act normal when he was clearly still messed up from the dream. 

“Such a sweetheart. Hands up, baby,” you said, sitting on your knees beside him. 

The white metal headboard arched with a second arch in the middle and vertical slats under it, making it easy to slip the tie over the metal after twisting it in a way that left two loops his wrists could fit into. 

Doing as you said, his hands came up, and quickly, you had them secured, making sure they weren’t too tight and nodding to yourself when you were satisfied. 

“Are you comfortable?” you asked. 

His elbows were up, arms tied to the headboard behind his head. 

He was looking at you and nodded. 

“What’s your safeword?” you asked. 

“Rábano (Radish),” he answered immediately, which was good. 

“As always, the stoplight system is also in play, or if you tell me to stop, I will. Please tell me if it’s too much.” 

“I will.” 

Smiling, you replied, “Good boy,” ending it with a wink that made him gulp hard. 

It only took a moment to get in position, kneeling between his wide-spread legs. 

Now, you loved being Javi’s pillow princess or any position where your only job was taking what he had to give. But the times like this where he handed over the reins and put you totally in control? Oh, it was one of your favorites—definitely, top three. The power you felt at making him feel so good was addictive, greedily wanting every moan, whimper, whine, and groan you could pull from him—it was the best. 

Seeing him there in front of you naked, a slight sheen on his skin from sweat, a fresh, darkening hickey over his pulse point from the night before, his hard cock resting against his happy trail in a pool of precum—he was a sight to behold, and he was yours, wanting to do whatever you could to make him feel better. 

Moving forward, your hands held up your weight on either side of him as you crawled over his body to kiss him on the lips, all slow and tender, ending it with a nip to his bottom lip. 

“I love your lips,” you said, nudging your nose against his. “I love your nose.” Your mouth pressed to his chin in a kiss, speaking into his skin, “I love your chin.” Peppering kisses along his jaw, your words were muffled, “I love your jaw.” 

Your trail continued down his neck, feeling him swallow hard, “God, your neck.” Here you stayed, laving him in kisses and sucking marks into the taut golden skin, making him softly whimper. 

He asked you to make him feel good, and yes, you could get straight to the point and make him come, but that wasn’t enough—he needed it drawn out and to hear and feel your love for him. Basically, you were going to tease him and worship his body while you did it because the easiest way to turn Javi into a puddle was by giving him physical affection and verbal affirmation, two of the three ways he liked to be loved. 

Lowering to his chest, you continued your tour of his torso with your mouth, kissing every bit of skin you could while leaving the occasional mark. 

“I love your pecs,” you said before licking at his nipple and getting a groan in return. Sucking on it, had his hands struggling in the restraints and his hips bucking. Switching sides, you went through the same motions while his sounds got louder, hearing how much he was enjoying what you were doing. 

“Please,” he gasped. 

Letting go of his hard bud, your head lifted. “Please, what?” you asked. 

His mouth wasn’t closed all the way, panting, his eyes darkened. 

“Touch me,” he raggedly answered. 

“Not yet.” Quickly, you pecked him on the lips, and he whined. “You’re doing so good for me,” you praised. “I know you can take more, baby. Now, where was I? Oh, yes.” 

Scooting back, you leaned down to kiss all over his stomach, deliberately avoiding his dick. 

“I love your tummy,” you murmured against him.

The whine he let out was pitiful and thrilled you, the puddle of precum in the hair below his navel getting bigger. 

Your cunt was throbbing in tune with your heartbeat as you moved further back to be at the perfect distance away to bend down and trail a streak of kisses and bites along his inner right thigh, leaving a mark near the joint. “I love your thighs,” you said. His eyes were glazed over and watching your every move while unbidden moans left his lips, your head going to his other thigh to give it the same treatment. 

His dick was straining, the tip an angry red, it jerking when your hot breath ghosted over it. 

“Cielito, baby, please,” he practically pleaded. 

“Are you needy, Javi?” you asked, kissing above his belly button. 

“Yes, please.” 

“Okay, baby, you can have anything you want.” 

His cock was like iron encased in velvet and hot to the touch when you took him in hand. Javi hissed, his mouth falling open as you pressed open-mouth kisses up his shaft. 

“Now, this?” His attention was on you while you slowly jerked him. “You know how much I love this gorgeous dick.”

When your lips wrapped around the head and you swirled your tongue against all the sensitive spots, his eyes closed, and he groaned.  

Coming off of him, you spat in your palm and started stroking him, your hand gliding effortlessly, twisting it on the upstroke, the other fondling his balls, your face going lower to lightly lick at the thin skin of his sack. 

His long, low moan went straight to your pussy.

Licking back up his cock, his eyes were on yours as you gathered spit on your tongue and let it drip onto the tip of him before taking him into your mouth and hollowing your cheeks, humming around him. You welcomed the weight of him on your tongue, bobbing your head while sucking him like a lollipop, your hand continuing to work what wouldn’t fit in your mouth—rough sounds were coming from his throat, his eyebrows furrowed, mouth open, and gaze so dark hardly any brown remained. 

Taking him further and further into your mouth and tonguing the underside of his shaft, it got until he was nudging the back of your throat, and you didn’t go any further. You were moaning, your head moving up and down, keeping your eyes on his, building up the anticipation for what he knew was coming and the thing that would push him over the edge. 

This was something that had taken a lot of practice, and Javi wasn’t a small guy; deepthroating him was actual deepthroating with how big he was—after getting a tiny bit too drunk one night on some tequila his tía Lupe gave you, the topic of how he was the most well-endowed man you’ve ever been with came up, and he was so smug about it, it took very little convincing for him to let you measure his hard very close to eight-inch dick. 

Swallowing around him, he slid smoothly into the tight space of your throat, Javi loudly moaning your name, taking him so deep, your nose was pressing into the coarse hairs at the base of his cock, smelling your eucalyptus spearmint stress relief body wash he used in the shower before you got into bed. 

Breathing through your nose, tears were leaking out of the corners of your eyes, loving how he felt inside you. 

“Te amo (I love you),” his strained voice said. “Te amo más que a nada (I love you more than anything).”

This man and being so loving during sex—he was perfect. 

Gulping made his thighs and stomach tense, and a strangled moan left his lips, his dick jerking. 

You knew he was getting close, so you did it again, contracting your throat around him, trying to get him there. 

“Rábano (Radish)!” he exclaimed, and immediately, you were pulling off of him, ignoring the drool on your chin and your wet cheeks. 

It had you worried something was wrong. 

Your voice was hoarse when you asked, “Are you okay?” 

His eyes were shut, his chest rising and falling hard while he panted. 

“Yeah,” he croaked. 

“Was it too much?” 

“No.” 

“Just didn’t want to come?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Wanna cuddle while you calm down?” 

“Please,” he answered. 

Smiling, you crawled up his body, straddling his hips to sit in his lap, quickly untying his hands, Javi immediately hugging you against him. His skin was sticky with sweat, and you didn’t care, tucking your head under his chin, lying against him. 

“How are you feeling, babe?” you quietly asked. 

“Good,” he answered, kissing your hair. 

“Head still messed up?” 

“Mi amor (My love), the only thing on my mind right now is eating your pretty little pussy and then fucking my come deep inside it.” 

His words made your cunt clench hard around nothing. 

“Well, that’s good the horny has taken over.” 

He chuckled, feeling it vibrate in his chest below you, him squeezing you tighter. 

“It has. How sore are you from yesterday?” 

The day before, you had asked him to fuck you hard enough, you’d feel it today, and you definitely were dealing with a bit of an ache, now that you were thinking about it. 

“Not like I need to ice my vagina sore but achy—honestly, I hadn’t even noticed it with all the shit that happened today, but now that you’ve mentioned it, I’m feeling it.”

“I’ll get you off with my mouth and fingers and use lube when I fuck you,” he said matter-of-factly. 

“Are you now?” 

“Yeah.” There was doubt in his voice when he continued, “Unless you don’t want that…”

“Javier, my future husband and love of my life, we’re fucking—your plan sounds great. A deal’s a deal, my body is yours to do with whatever you want, mi cuerpo es tu cuerpo (my body is your body).” 

“Anything…?” He sounded hopeful, and you knew exactly what he meant.

“Nice try, but unfortunately, it’s a no on anal today.” You felt him deflate under you. “I think I can probably make it happen tomorrow.” He perked right back up, a surprised noise leaving you, when suddenly you found yourself on your back, having been rolled with him now on top of you—his hips nestled in the cradle of your thighs, his hard cock digging into your belly. 

His smiling face was hovering over yours, his hair a mess atop his head, sticking up at odd angles. 

“I can fuck your ass tomorrow?” he asked, clearly excited. 

You snorted, ghosting your fingertips over his bare back to make him shiver. “It’s adorable how every time I agree to anal, you act like it’s the first time I’ve said you can, when in fact, you’ve gotten to do it like four times—“

“Five,” he interrupted, “six if you let me tomorrow. Can I?”

With what he went through today, he deserved a nice treat, and frankly, you quite enjoyed it. 

“Yes, Javi. Mi culo es tu culo (my ass is your ass).”

“Sí, así es (Yes, it is).” His lips crashed into yours. “Tu culo es mío (Your ass is mine),” he growled, licking into your mouth and stealing your breath. 

His tongue slid against yours in practiced strokes, your fingers digging into his shoulders hard enough that your nails left half-moon imprints, arousal burning brightly in your belly. He had to rock his hips for friction to ease his achingly hard dick, pressing it into the softness of your stomach. 

The day’s events were insane, to say the least—nowhere on your daily bingo card did you have ‘Javi’s Villainous Ex-Co-worker Attempting to Break You Up’ or ‘Assisting in a Surgery to Save a Patient's Life,’ the second definitely being more plausible to randomly happen than the first, though. 

It killed you how distressed your future husband was over Stechner telling you about some of what he did in Colombia. Did you not tell him enough you’d still love him after learning about that part of his life? Were you not reassuring enough? Did he not believe you? It was shocking to hear all he’d done and gone through, and some of it was incredibly fucked up; Like you told him, it wasn’t your place to judge his past. To you, he had paid for his sins in full, and there was no reason for him to dwell on them any longer. You just hoped after today, it would get through to him that you weren’t going anywhere and loved everything about him. Everything, even his flaws. 

His lips broke away from yours to kiss your chin, gasping at his teeth nipping at it. A wet trail of kisses went along your jaw, his breath tickling your ear as he rasped into it, “I love you so fucking much.” Goosebumps erupted all over your skin. “You’re perfect—a goddamn goddess amongst men, and I’m gonna give you the fucking worship you deserve, mi reina (my queen).” 

Pulling on his hair, you made him look at you, his eyes hooded, smirking under his perfectly trimmed mustache. “God, I love you, but right now isn’t about me; it’s about you.” 

“And this is what I want to do.”

Frowning, you replied, “Fine,” and let go of his hair.

“Thank you.” 

And thus, he began a journey of your flesh with the plush of his lips, starting with your face. The kisses were gentle, reverent, interspersing them with whispers of ‘te amo (I love you),’ blazing a trail of fire under your skin as he made his way down your body—your jaw to your neck to your chest and breasts, peppering kisses all over your tummy. 

This wasn’t the first time he’d done this, nor would it be the last. Still, the way his mouth caressed each of your imperfections—your insecurities, and told them he loved them had your throat going tight and tears brimming your eyes that he truly cherished every part of you. He didn’t care if your stomach wasn’t flat or if there were stretch marks, scars, or cellulite on your ass and thighs; to him, you were beautiful—all of you was beautiful, and he’d make damn sure you knew it.  

Down he went, kissing and speaking his love as he moved lower until he was lying between your legs. Lips pressed to each of your hip bones, his big hands grabbing just behind your knees, lifting one leg for him to kiss a wet streak along your inner thigh, his murmured words hot against your skin. The tickle of his mustache caused you to wiggle a little, your body lit up, and pussy weeping with need for him, wanting him to touch you. 

The leg was lowered, his face a hair's breadth away from where you were throbbing, so close you could feel his breath and him inhaling deeply. Humming appreciatively in the back of his throat, you sat up, his eyes meeting yours. 

“Now this,” his words were a deep rasp. “You know how much I love this pretty fucking pussy. I’ve never had any better—it owns me.” 

“It’s yours, Javi. It’s all yours.” 

A crooked smile appeared on his face. 

“Yeah, it is mine, and my dick is yours.” 

“Touch me.” 

“Not yet, mi amor (my love),” he replied and placed a chaste kiss on your mons. Your other leg was lifted, and he gave it the same attention as the other, making you fall back onto the bed in a frustrated groan, your cunt feeling so achingly empty.  

“Javi,” you whined his name. “Please, eat me out.”

“Are you needy, baby?” he asked, kissing close to your knee. 

“Yes.” 

“Okay, I’ve got you, Cielito.” 

Scooting closer, he slipped your legs over his broad shoulders, one comforting hand on your belly, the other hand at the apex of your thighs where he used his thumb and forefinger to open the glossy lips of your sex—the need you had for him grew more intense wanting him to ease the ache in your core. 

“So fucking pretty,” he purred, his breath fanning over the wet folds of your pussy. 

It made you moan when wet, hot spit dropped onto your clit, feeling the saliva slowly dripping down toward your entrance and being intercepted by the flat of Javi’s tongue sliding up the length of you, sending a jolt through your center. 

Sitting up on your elbows, you watched his face between your thighs—eyes closed, hair a mess of chocolate waves. His groans vibrated against your sensitive skin as he lapped at you, licking up every bit of your arousal he could get in hot stripes. Heat was beginning to build in the base of your spine, and when his lips latched around your sensitive bundle of nerves, and he sucked, you moaned his name, writhing under him from the shock of pleasure. 

“Oh, god,” you gasped. “It’s so good, Javi. It feels so good.” 

His eyes opened, all heavy-lidded, his pupils blown wide with lust while he watched himself make a mess of you, not even a tiny bit ashamed you were mewling.

You were so close when one thick finger slid inside you with hardly any resistance, savoring the slight stretch when he pushed in a second beside it. This man was an expert at making you come and knew your body probably better than you did. His hot mouth focused on your clit, pulling out all the stops by flicking it with his tongue, and sucking, while his digits worked in and out of you before he was crooking them up to slide along—

“Right there!” you moaned, him pressing into the spot that had every nerve in your body lighting up, the knot in your belly tightening. “Fuck, Javi! You’re gonna make me come!”

That just spurred him on, and it was all so much—the adoration evident in his dark eyes, watching as he took you apart; his mouth focusing on your sensitive clit, his fingers relentlessly fucking into you—all of your weight went onto one elbow to hold his hand on your stomach, needing him to ground you, and make sure you didn’t float away as he sent you higher and higher.

He had you moaning incoherently, and it wasn’t long before the coil snapped, and you came with a cry of his name, blinding pleasure exploding out from your core. 

“Good girl,” he groaned into your pussy. “My good fucking girl.” 

His tongue licked up your release, greedily pressing it inside your drenched hole to drink it from the source. Falling back on the mattress, your chest was heaving, eyes closed, and your boyfriend slowed down to work you through your high. 

One last kiss was placed on your swollen clit, before he got out from under your legs and crawled up your body, the tip of his hard cock drooling precum onto your skin as it pressed into you.

The air shifted, and you knew his face was over yours, him staying like that for some seconds. 

“Why are you staring at me?” you mumbled. 

“Because you’re beautiful,” he answered quietly.

You smiled. “Such a fucking flirt.” 

“Just telling the truth.” 

“Uh-huh, the truth that’s gonna get you laid.” 

“I didn’t say it so I’d get laid.” The frown was evident in his tone, and it made you open one eye to see his mustache, and the bottom half of his face were covered in your juices, and just as you thought, his reddened lips were turned down.

“Oh, babe,” you started, opening both eyes as you reached up to caress his cheeks. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. You know I’m terrible at accepting compliments.” 

A loud sigh left him, his eyes darting away. 

“Yeah, your low self-esteem—”

“Absolutely abysmal self-esteem,” you corrected. 

“I know. I just wish you could see how I see you so you knew I mean what I say.” 

“I know you’re telling the truth,” you replied. “We don’t lie to each other.” 

“We don’t.”

“Then that’s settled. Now let’s get back to the horny because your dick has absolutely got to be aching, my guy.” 

His gaze met yours. “Do you wanna come again? I’m not gonna last.” 

“One was more than enough. As I said earlier, mi cuerpo es tu cuerpo (my body is your body). Use it however you want to make yourself feel good.” 

“Thank you,” he said, his mouth hotly descending to claim yours, using the moan you made at tasting yourself to slip his tongue inside. 

It was true you were still sore from the night before, but with him making you orgasm, your cunt was nice and wet, and the muscles were relaxed to make taking him easier. 

His hips were grinding into you, the kissing making heat blossom in your belly and sizzle along your spine that could build into another climax if you let it. One moment, his lips were on yours, and the next, they weren’t, him suddenly sitting up with a groan on his knees. 

“Need you on your front, mi amor (my love),” he said, tapping your hip. The bed jostled as he moved over you toward the bedside table. 

“Damn, doggy two nights in a row?” you asked, flipping onto your stomach. “You really want me sore enough I will have to ice my pussy.” 

“Not doggy,” he replied, hearing the drawer slide open and close. “Keep your legs together.” 

Closing your legs and keeping them straight, Javi made his way back over, straddling them. Your arms were on either side of your head that was turned to the side, resting comfortably on the mattress. He bent over, pressing a kiss to your shoulder and another at the base of your neck, asking softly, “Is this okay?” 

“Yes,” you answered. “Stick it in.” To end the sentence, you wiggled your ass. 

“You’re so fucking impatient,” he chuckled, getting back up on his knees. The sound of the cap popping open told you he was using the lube, the bottle getting tossed onto the bed when he was done. 

“One of us has to be.” 

A sharp smack landed on your ass, making you gasp, before he shuffled forward, using one hand on the mattress to hold himself up, the other positioning his cock at your entrance. 

“I was gonna be gentle…” Was all the warning he gave before burying himself inside you in one smooth thrust. 

A strangled gasp left you at the sudden fullness, relishing the burn, your fingers clawing at the sheet under you for something to hold onto. With your legs closed, you were tighter, and Javi felt bigger—stealing your breath bigger, oh-my-god-how-did-he-fit-that-thing-inside-me bigger, I'm-definitely-gonna-have-to-ice-my-pussy bigger. 

You had to admit, the stretch was pretty great.

“Jesus Christ,” he gritted through his teeth, his hips bumping into the plush of your ass. “You’re so fucking tight, baby.” 

His large palms were now on your backside, smoothing over your skin. 

“You’re so fucking big,” you breathily replied.

He pulled halfway out and slowly pushed back in with a groan, your mouth falling open and feeling thankful for the lube making him move so easily. His hard length was pressing into all of those spots that made your toes curl, feeling every ridge and vein as he slid it halfway out and rocked it back in over and over, your brain erroring out at how good it felt.

“Shit,” he hissed, moving forward on his arms to kiss your back once more. “This is gonna be quick.” 

He sped up his pace, his dick moving in and out of you with quick snaps of his hips, pushing in so far there was a possibility he was in your guts, filling you to your limit—it was hard to think; it was hard to breathe, with how full you felt.

A fire had started in your belly, getting hotter and hotter with each deep kiss of his cock to your womb, no longer feeling overwhelmed by the fullness, it now slowly making you lose your mind in ecstasy. 

“I love you so fucking much,” he panted. “You’re so fucking perfect and beautiful and amazing. Fuck, you feel so good. Me encanta cómo te sientes, mi amor (I love how you feel, my love). Estás tan apretada y mojada (You’re so tight and wet).” Wet was an understatement; you were sopping, hearing an obscene squelch where you were joined. “Te sientes tan pinche rico (You feel so fucking good). Te amo, mi futura esposa (I love you, my future wife). No puedo esperar para casarme contigo (I can’t wait to marry you).” 

He sat up, his hands firmly gripping your waist for leverage, fucking into you harder and faster, grunting with every thrust—your body was alight in pleasure, the angle making him rub against that one spot only he could find and rocketing you toward your own end; your skin was heated, coated in sweat, and you were so fuck drunk a stream of babbling was coming from your mouth in the tune of his name, letting him know how good he was fucking you, and telling him you loved him—a lot of you telling him you loved him, actually. 

The room was filled with the rhythmic slap of his hips hitting against your ass, the jumble of words spilling from your lips, and the rougher grunts from Javi’s throat, the air smelling like sex. 

The heated pressure inside you was growing rapidly, your body trembling. 

“I love you, too,” he grunted. “Am I fucking you good, Cielito? Are you gonna come again? You’re so fucking wet, and I can feel you’re close, baby. You know why I can’t wait to marry you?” 

Somehow, in your wrecked state, you could choke out a “Why?” 

“Shit, I’m almost there, too.” He swallowed. “‘Cause I love you.” His rhythm was starting to get uneven. “And I’ll finally get to fuck a baby into you.” 

A stab of red-hot pleasure hit your gut, your moan sounding punched from your lungs. 

“You want that,” he continued. “You want me to get you pregnant.” 

That fire in your belly was threatening to combust, so close to your climax that you could practically taste it. 

“Yes!” you cried out. 

He was going faster, his thick cock slickly sliding in and out of your tight heat; his name was a soft chant from your lips, saying it over and over like a prayer—proof he was a sex god, and you were his devoted devotee willingly giving him your entire being, body, and soul, as an offering. 

He worshiped you, and you worshiped him. 

“You’ll look so fucking beautiful pregnant with my baby,” his words were breathy. “My beautiful pregnant wife; fuck, come on, Cielito, give me another. I want my wife to come with me. Come on, mi esposa, I’m gonna fill you up—fuck my come so deep, you’ll be pregnant when I put a ring on your finger.” 

That’s what got you, falling over the edge with a gasping moan. Euphoria overtook every cell in your body, rippling out from your center, spreading to your fingers and toes, feeling like you kept coming, and coming, and coming. 

Javi went with you, pushing in all the way to the hilt, his cock thickening and jerking hard, shattering with a low, dirty groan, feeling the warm, wet pulse as his spend filled you—falling forward on his arms, his hips rolled to fuck it deeper, and he leaned down to softly kiss your shoulder, moving to lightly bite the edge of your ear, hearing the hiss slide through his teeth when the overstimulation hit and he stopped moving. 

Wrung out was apt for how you felt. Your limbs were quivering uncontrollably, panting, your mind all hazy from the pleasure, and you felt boneless. 

Something about the man you were going to marry was he enjoyed staying inside you after finishing, and he’d mastered the art of getting you both comfortable without pulling out. He rolled you both onto your sides, bringing your back flush to his front and wrapping his arms around you to hug you tightly against him, his nose buried in your hair, while your hand went back behind you to play with his. 

It didn’t matter you were both sweaty and, let’s be honest, gross—a shower was absolutely needed—you loved basking in the post-coital bliss with the person you would spend the rest of your life with. 

This also happened to be another occasion where time was tricky. It only felt like seconds passed, maybe a minute or two, as you lay there, luxuriating in each other, but a glance at the glowing red numbers on the alarm clock on your bedside table told you ten minutes had passed. 

“Yes,” you said, breaking the silence. 

He nuzzled against your neck, pressing a kiss to it. 

“Are you practicing again?” 

“No, this yes is my pre-acceptance of your proposal.” 

“I’ve been pre-approved to be your husband?” he asked amusedly. 

“Um, yes, Javier, you have gone above and beyond to prove you are husband material. You’ve also been pre-approved to be the father of my future children.” 

“Cielito?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I’m guessing you don’t remember,” he sighed. 

“Remember what…?”

“I’m already engaged.” 

“WHAT?!” you yelled, Javi making a pained sound when you aggressively got out of his arms and off his dick to turn around and sit up in bed, staring at him. “What the fuck are you talking about?!” 

The expression on his face could only be described as the realization of, ‘I fucked up.’ His throat bobbed as he gulped in fear at your reaction. 

He propped his head up on his arm, meeting your gaze. 

“I can explain—“ he tried. 

Thoughts were racing through your brain, trying to make sense of this—that was the thing; it made zero sense. Nothing was adding up, not with how intertwined your lives had become and your plans for the future, plus all the shit you’d gone through together to get to this point.  

“Oh, you better fucking explain, Javier,” you cut him off, anger making you seethe. “It’s not Lorraine since she’s married. Wait—“ Panic hit you. “Am I the other woman? Do you secretly have a fiancée in Colombia?”

There was no way whoever he was betrothed to was from here—you’d know. 

His face scrunched in confusion. 

“Other woman?” he asked. “Secret fiancée? What? It’s you. I’m engaged to you!”

Your eyebrows creased, checking your hands for a ring and not seeing one. 

“Uh, no, we’re not…” You looked at him. “Our anniversary hasn’t happened yet, and I’m like 99.9% sure you haven’t proposed—I’d remember.”  

“You proposed to me…” he said slowly.

That had you taken aback. 

“Javi, babe, I am so fucking confused right now. Like, you’re the one—” You pointed at him then yourself. “—who has to propose to me, not in a stereotypical way, but because your last engagement wasn’t your choice, and you wanting to marry me, or anyone for that matter, needs to be your choice. Also, I cannot recall ever proposing to you?”

As you explained your reasoning why he was the one who had to do it, his eyes had gotten rounder, and he smiled softly. 

“It was this afternoon before you fell asleep.”

There was still no recollection. 

“Was I basically asleep?” 

He sheepishly ducked his head. “Yeah…” 

Pushing his shoulder, you replied in exasperation, “Oh my god, Javier, that doesn’t count! You know that doesn’t count!” 

His smile got bigger, meeting your eyes. “I still said yes.” 

“To a woman who was more asleep than awake and wasn’t in the right state of mind to even ask.” 

“Yeah? Right now, if you asked again, my answer would be the same.” 

Thinking about it briefly, you said, “Still doesn’t count unless there’s a ring, and I never proposed with a ring, so that null and voids it.” 

His eyebrow went up. “In order for a proposal to be valid, a ring is required...?” 

“Yep. Thems the rules. So, we’re not engaged.” 

“Okay. We’re not engaged.” 

Smiling, you replied. “Nope. Oh! Another stipulation.”

“Yes?”

“The proposal is only valid if there’s a ring and you’re the one doing the asking.”

“Anything else?”

“Yeah.” You nodded. “You’ll have to get my father’s blessing to marry me.”

His face paled. 

“You’ve gotta be fucking joking…” he said. 

“Of course, I’m joking! I don’t give a single fuck about his opinion. That was payback for freaking me out.”

“Thank fuck,” he breathed. “Come here.” He beckoned you with the hand, not holding himself up. 

Getting closer, you laid down next to him, his arm pulling you closer to him so you were looking up at his face. He was gazing adoringly into your eyes with a smile, his fingers stroking your cheek. 

The silence was comfortable, dancing your fingertips along his naked side. 

“Thank you for not leaving me,” he finally spoke softly. 

“Never even crossed my mind.” 

“Thank you for loving me.” 

“Always.” 

“Thank you for wanting to be my wife.” 

“Thank you for wanting to be my husband. Really, it’s an honor. I’ll be the woman who bagged Javier Peña.” 

He huffed out a breath. “Yes, you will. Thank you for wanting to have kids with me.” 

“Oh, that’s easy. They’re gonna be cute, and you’ll be an amazing dad.” 

His eyes were a little shinier. 

“I’m happy you think that.” 

“I know that—our bovine children are treated like royalty. You’re gonna spoil the fuck out of our biological babies, and they’ll love you a lot.”

“I hope so.” 

“They will.” 

Lowering his head, he kissed you with so much passion it made your breath catch in your throat, and your heart skip a beat. 

“Cielito?” he murmured into your lips. 

“Yes, Javi?” 

“Can we practice?” 

His question made you smile.

“You want to practice making a baby again?” you asked, knowing that wasn’t what he meant.

“Fucking smartass,” he growled, tickling your ribs, making you laugh while you tried to wiggle away.

Your mouths had broken apart. “Okay, okay, I give,” you panted. Immediately, he stopped his tickle assault. “We can practice.” 

He gave you a big, dimpled smile, quickly kissing you. 

“Spanish or English?” he asked. 

“Dealer’s choice.” 

His face went serious. “No, when you imagine me asking, is it in Spanish or English?” 

“Uh, Spanish?”

“Okay.” 

“But it doesn’t matter,” you quickly added. “Just do what feels right.” 

“It needs to be perfect. Which is why we’re gonna practice,” he said, winking. 

“Uh huh, we’re practicing, and it’s not an excuse for you to ask the question that won’t leave you alone and has made you regret waiting... Nope, you’re not exploiting a convoluted loophole at all...” 

“Yeah, practice. Okay.” He cleared his throat, his big hand cradling your face, his chocolate brown eyes gazing lovingly into yours. “Mi Cielito,” he started, “eres el amor de mi vida, mi media naranja y quiero pasar el resto de mi vida contigo (My Cielito, you are the love of my life, my soulmate, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you). Quiero compartir cada instante de mi vida contigo en las buenas tiempos y en las malas porque somos más fuertes juntos y podemos superar cualquier cosa (I want to share my life with you in good times and bad because we are stronger together and we can overcome anything).” There was no way to stop the tears from forming in your eyes, blurring your vision, getting choked up at what he was saying. “Cuando imagino mi futuro, te veo conmigo, en la casa que construimos, rodeado de nuestros hijos y quiero hacer que eso sea una realidad (When I imagine my future, I see you with me, in the house we built, surrounded by our children, and I want to make that a reality).” He had you crying now, unable to keep the wetness at bay, your cheeks hurting from smiling so big. “Quiero hacer realidad mi sueño y convertirme en tu esposo (I want to make my dream come true and become your husband). Mi Cielito, mi amor, mi vida, ¿me hariás el hombre más feliz del mundo, te casarías conmigo (My Cielito, my love, my life, you’d make me the happiest man in the world, will you  marry me)?”

Nodding your head, laughing through your tears, you answered, “Sí, sí, un millón de veces sí (Yes, yes, a million times yes)!”

His mouth came crashing down to happily claim yours, both of you smiling as you kissed, your hands ending up in the hair at the back of his head. 

“How was it?” he asked between kisses, his palm sliding up and down your belly. 

“Perfect.” 

“The real thing will be better.” 

“Wait, Javi.” 

Immediately, his lips were off of yours, and he looked at you in concern. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“I know you’re still figuring out your plan, and I’m going to love whatever it is, but, um, it’ll need to be done someplace, maybe secluded?” 

“I know you’d hate the attention, so I’m gonna do something intimate.” 

It relieved you to hear that. 

“This is why you get your dick sucked so often.” He chuckled, smiling. “You’re perfect. It wasn’t just because of that…” 

“Okay… What’s the other reason?” 

“Apparently, proposals make me super horny, and I’ll want your dick.” 

“Somewhere secluded.” He nodded. “Whatever my wife wants, she gets.” 

Smiling, you corrected, “Future wife.”

“Still, my wife.” 

He was so stubborn he made your eyes roll. 

“And what will you call me when we’re married?” 

“My wife, and every. Fucking. Person, in this town and anyone else aware of me will know I am your husband.” 

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Tagging: @theorganasolo @nicolethered @nessamc @vanemando15 @fiscinthirst @melancholyy-hill @hnt-escape @sherala007 @jadesabre83 @rainbeaubrightchild @blub-senpai @pedrohoe04 @theherothesavior @captain-creampuff @javiersjeans @zetasaturno99 @amb11 @lovedbyth3sun @siidereeus @marvelousmermaid @mrszdjarin @themarcusmoreno @ms-loverman-066 @star-wars-fan-2005 @kissing-stars @chloeinpink @notyourlovemonkey @unofficialavenger90 @fictionismyreality @sheetsof-lennon @damnyoupedro @katareyoudrilling @iamskyereads @enjoyourlattebitch @daddydindjarin @absurdthirst @kirsteng42 @littlemisspascal @athalien @thevoiceinyourheadx @elegantduckturtle @harriedandharassed @girlofchaos @mswarriorbabe80 @theewokingdead @guess-my-next-obsession @pedrostories @deadhumourist

#pedro pascal #javier peña #javier peña/reader #javier peña x reader #javier peña x you #javier peña smut #wheresarizona writes #learning to live series

[bangtanflirt]

Not Like Other Girls (Part 1 of 2)

mainly angst, with some smut and fluff sprinkled in

Best friend Jungkook x Fem Reader, Hoseok x Fem Reader

NSFW. 18+

Part 1 > Part 2 (FINAL)

Premise: Jungkook’s been your best friend since forever, and he loves that you’re “not like other girls,” as he puts it...so what happens when you decide you want to be like other girls?

Warnings: sexism, slut-shaming, manipulative friendship, Jungkook and some other idols are just overall misogynistic assholes in this (all a work of fiction obviously, no way meant to represent these idols’ real life personalities), internalized misogyny, slight smut but it’s mainly just making out, talks of sexual activity

____

Jungkook first entered your life in third grade, when you were nine and he was “almost ten,” as he put it. He slipped into the role of your best friend pretty seamlessly, sharing his crayons and snacks with no one else but you. When middle school came around, Jungkook found his first love: the PlayStation his parents gave him for his thirteenth birthday. Soon, your days of playing pretend turned into gaming sessions instead. Once he showed you how to play, you caught on pretty quickly. He’s always been a better gamer than you, but you weren’t an easy opponent either, getting your wins in when his guard was down. You would revel in the pout he had every time you would beat him, his competitive nature unable to accept the loss. He only got more competitive as you entered high school and began to seek out others who were more on his level, which you didn’t exactly mind since you’ve never been into gaming as much as he is. Sure, you liked it as a pass-time, but you’ve never taken it as seriously as your best friend does.

Which is why you were happy when Jungkook met Yugyeom and Eunwoo freshman year of high school. Throughout the four years of high school, the four of you were more-or-less a friend group. “More-or-less” because you weren’t exactly friends with the other two, more acquaintances, but Jungkook linked you to them. Your best friend would still invite you every time he hung out with them, so the four of you were together a lot. However, just because you were physically present doesn’t mean you were part of the conversation. The three men would get lost in their own talks, seldom including you. The only reason it didn’t bother you much was because Jungkook still made sure to set aside time for just the two of you, where you could talk all you want and he would listen intently to your ramblings. These conversations would mainly be over study-sessions, since only you and Jungkook actually studied among the four—both aiming to graduate at the top of your class.

Senior year of high school is when the cracks of your friendship first started to show. It was after a late-night gaming session at Yugyeom’s place (where you did your homework since they said you weren’t needed on the team). Yugyeom’s parents were out of town and he was intent on having all of you raid the liquor cabinet. After the tequila bottle was passed around a couple of times, a good buzz was flowing through everyone. That’s when the topic of girls came up. It’s not like the men have never talked about a girl in front of you before, but it’s always been innocent confessions of who they thought was pretty. That night, however, the conversation turned sour at the mention of the new transfer student—the one that Jungkook had apparently lost his virginity to.

“I don’t see the hype about Nayeon. You can’t even tell if she’s actually pretty or if it’s the layers of makeup at this point.” Eunwoo punctuates with another swig of the bottle.

“I definitely see the hype about Nayeon,” Yugyeom interjects, “I mean…” he finishes his thought with gestures to his chest, causing all the boys to burst into tipsy laughter. You laugh too, wanting to be in on the joke.

“That I agree with, but it’s also not fun if she’s always wearing clothes that show them off y’know? Who knows how many guys have already seen the whole thing at this point, with her reputation. No offense, Kook.”

“That’s valid. I wouldn’t date her, that’s for sure.” Jungkook chimes in.

“Is it really that big of a deal? She just has her own style, like Jungkook always wears all black and those combat boots. I don’t see why it’s a bad thing.”

Eunwoo throws a condescending laugh your way, “It’s because her ‘style’ is literally dressing like a slut, y/n. Guys who want actual meaningful relationships are not going to go for a girl who dresses like that. That’s the kind of girl you hit and quit.”

Jungkook can see Eunwoo’s explanation isn’t sitting well with you, so he attempts to soothe your worries, “Don’t worry about it y/n. You’re not like other girls, so you don’t have to worry about things like that.”

“Not like other girls?”

“Yeah, you’re more like one of the guys. That’s why we’re best friends.” He grins his innocent bunny grin, and at the time that’s enough to appease you. It must be a good thing to not be like other girls, you thought, since it got you such a good best friend.

However, you are currently in college and those initial cracks are threatening to crumble down the entire foundation of your friendship. Yugyeom and Eunwoo got into different colleges from you two, so it’s back to just you and Jungkook; however, it’s not the same as before. Jungkook is still the same, spending his days at the library studying and nights in his dorm gaming. You, however, aren’t the same. The summer before this year has been the first summer you and him had spent apart since you became friends, with you going to see your cousins in another state. Growing up, you’d never met your cousins due to your mom’s rocky relationship with your aunt. However, the two of them making up gave you the opportunity to finally meet that side of the family.

The first couple of days were not fun, with you missing Jungkook and also realizing your cousins, Eun-bi and Sol, were the exact type of girls him, Yugyeom, and Eunwoo would look down upon. Their crop tops, short skirts, and dramatic makeup severely put you off at first…but at some point during the trip, you just couldn’t resist. They looked like they were having so much fun, and you wanted to have fun too. So you asked if you could tag along their shopping plans, which they agreed to instantly. That was the first time you saw yourself in a dress (not counting the hideous dresses your mom put you in when you were five), and you’ve never felt prettier. You loved the way it showed off your legs and the little bit of cleavage made you feel damn hot. But there was still a nagging voice in the back of your head, knowing the fit was too revealing for Jungkook’s approval. Still, it was pretty and your cousins wouldn’t let you leave before buying it, so you did. The trip was also the first time you’d ever put anything more than sunscreen and moisturizer on your face, copying your Sol’s actions as she taught you how to do makeup.

That starts the beginning of your makeup obsession. Eyeshadow, in particular, becomes like a drug to you. You can’t imagine a time you’ve enjoyed yourself more than when you were doing your eye makeup with Eun-bi and Sol, all while the three of you quoted the romcoms playing in the background.

So, suffice to say, college y/n is not the y/n you were in high school. Although you’re still not confident to wear a dress or do your makeup outside of your bedroom (especially not in front of Jungkook), you’re becoming more expressive about the things you like.

“What are you watching?” Jungkook looks over your shoulder, taking a break from his studying.

“A makeup influencer I’ve gotten into lately. She’s really talented.” You try to sound nonchalant but it’s nerve-wracking to even say that much to him, scared of being labelled in the same category as the girls he’s talked shit about with the other guys.

He raises a brow and your heart falls to your stomach.

“Since when are you into stuff like that?”

You shrug, still trying to seem casual. “It takes more skill than people think. It’s like creating a piece of art on your face.” You hate that you don’t just say ‘it’s fun,’ rather framing it in a way you think he might validate. His face is etched with judgement, but he doesn’t say the exact words he wants to out loud, choosing a different angle to take instead.

“So you’re watching that instead of studying?”

“I already finished my assignments and readings.”

“Just be careful y/n, things like that can easily distract you from your grades.”

“Don’t be overdramatic,” you chuckle, “if anything, video games would be a bigger distraction.”

He doesn’t laugh along, instead giving you a tight-lipped expression and returning to his essay.

Things go on like that for a couple of  months, with Jungkook never outright disapproving, but looking at you warily every time you express interest in make-up. Still, you’re determined to make him come around. That’s why you buy two tickets for a beauty influencer convention that happens to land on the Saturday of your birthday. You hold the tickets in front of him with big, eager eyes.

“This is really what you want to do for your birthday?”

“Yep. You don’t even have to get me a gift, just come with me!”

He sighs reluctantly, “Okay, if that’s all you really want.”

You bring him into a tight hug, unable to contain your excitement.

By the time Saturday comes around, you’re practically bouncing off the walls in excitement. Not only are some of your favorite makeup artists going to be there, but you’ll finally be able to talk about your favorite hobby with your best friend. The euphoric feeling is enough to push you into doing something you previously thought impossible: deciding to wear a dress and do your makeup to wear out. It’s the same dress Eun-bi picked out for you, aka your only dress, and a sunset cut-crease look from a palette Sol let you have. You look in the mirror with a newfound confidence, elated that Jungkook is making an effort to accept this new you.

Unfortunately, all your excitement washes away the second you open the door to Jungkook’s dorm and see Yugyeom and Eunwoo. “Happy Birthday!” The three men cheer in unision, with Jungkook holding a cake. The dorm is filled with balloons and decorations, and the gesture would be sweet if you didn’t know what it was about to lead into. After the initial cheers, the men take a moment to take in your new appearance. Jungkook’s eyes go wide and the other two start whistling and hollering.

“No one told me the theme for the party was Playboy” Eunwoo laughs.

“Damn y/n, I forgot you had tits!” Yugyeom adds.

Jungkook intervenes, still processing the situation himself, “No teasing the birthday girl! Y/n wait here while I get you one of my sweaters, it won’t be comfortable to game in that.”

“Game? Aren’t we going to the convention?” Your eyes threaten to water but you do your best to hold composure.

“We can go some other time. Besides, you only have two tickets, right?”

“It’s only for tonight, I don’t know when the next one will be…I can see there’s last minute tickets on the site…” you hate how meek your voice is.

Jungkook shakes his head dismissively, “It’s okay y/n, Yugyeom and Eunwoo are only here until tomorrow so we should get our gaming session in before they leave—since it’s something we all enjoy!”

“Convention?” Eunwoo questions.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it” Jungkook laughs off, setting the cake down and ushering everyone to the couch. But you don’t follow. He planned this, you realize.

“You guys go ahead, I think I’m going to go to the convention alone.” You don’t give anyone a chance to react as you spin on your heel and practically run out. Jungkook follows your trail, turning you to face him once you’ve stopped outside the residence hall.

“What’s gotten into you?”

“I just really want to go to this convention.” You’re voice is shaky, the kind of tone you get when you’re trying not to burst into tears.

“Don’t you think you’re being a little much? They moved around their schedules to come see us, and I spent the whole day blowing up all these balloons and decorating the place. I even got your favorite cake!”

“I appreciate it Jungkook, I really do, but you knew how excited I was to go to this convention. It’s all I talked about since you said yes.”

“I just don’t think you’re going to have as much fun as you think you will there.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“C’mon y/n, this isn’t you! You’re not someone who wears skimpy dresses or smears all that shit on their eyes! I just don’t get why you want to be one of those girls all of a sudden.”

There it was, the words he’d been holding back, finally out in the open. You are now one of those girls to him. Girls he doesn’t deem worthy of respect. Something stronger than sadness bubbles inside of you: rage.

“Go to hell, Jungkook.”

You see his eyes go wide, “Excuse me?”

“I said go. to. hell. I’m going to go celebrate my birthday the way I want to, alone.”

You walk away, leaving the man with an incredulous expression.

The uber ride is tense, with you trying your best to hold back the tears. It sounds ridiculous, but you’re too proud of your eyeshadow to ruin it like this, so you put sadness on the backburner and let rage take center stage. You’re livid and you’re not going to give in this time. You’re going to go to this damn convention and have the best birthday ever, without him.

___

The venue is brightly lit, with lines of people waiting for different booths. Your mood brightens up at the sight of your favorite makeup gurus meeting and greeting fans, quickly finding a place in line. The convention is everything you want: live makeup tutorials, goodie bags with samples you’re eager to try, and getting your picture taken with people you admire. Despite the shaky mindset you entered with, you’re genuinely having a good time by yourself. One of the influencers even agrees to record a video saying hi to your cousins, which you know Eun-bi and Sol will love.

It’s an hour in when you meet Ara, a girl waiting to get food in the same line you’re in. She’s insanely pretty, the kind of girl you’d be too intimidated to talk to if she hadn’t initiated the conversation with a “I absolutely adore your eyeshadow!!”

It’s a simple compliment, but it means so much in that moment. You think that’s where the conversation will end but, to your surprise, she keeps talking, asking you about what booths you’ve been to and your favorite things so far. Before you know it, the two of you are gushing about your favorite influencers and makeup looks. You stick to Ara for the rest of the time, admiring how she effortlessly commands a room. Her flowy white skirt and light pink bralette make her look like a fairy from a garden party, not to mention the glowing skin and shimmery eyeshadow. She looks so pretty that you can’t believe she’s also nice—but, fortunately for you, she is.

It’s when you mention that you’re here for your birthday that she pipes up with even more enthusiasm.

“Omg, it’s your birthday?! I’m hitting up a frat party with friends after this, you should totally come!”

Part of you winces at the use of ‘omg’ and ‘totally,’ thinking back to how the guys would say that was bimbo-talk. But you push those prejudices down, focusing instead on the very nice girl in front of you.

“Are you sure that’s okay? I wouldn’t want to intru—”

“We’d be glad to have you! If you vibe with me, you’ll vibe with my friends in no time.”

So you nod, happy you decided to come out tonight. At the very least, you have a new friend. A female friend who happens to go to the same college, nonetheless.

___

Ara leads you into the frat house, holding your hand so you don’t get lost in the crowd of bodies. You tell her how this is you’re first time ever going partying, and she assures you of how fun it is if you’re with the right people. The two of you stop at a decently sized circle of people at the corner of the main room, Ara swings her hand around your shoulder and introduces you to the bunch.

It’s a mix of guys and girls, all who look like they came straight from a modeling gig. She tells you their names one by one, saying the name ‘Namjoon’ extra sweetly. “That one’s my boyfriend” she winks, and the dimpled man waves at you. “The one next to him is Hoseok. He’s Namjoon’s best friend. Hoseok’s actually a member of Beta Tau Sigma.”

“Ah, nice party” you say awkwardly, caught a little off-guard with the way he’s looking at you. It’s not a look you’re used to getting…one of lust.

“I think it just got a little better” he remarks with a confident smirk.

You don’t miss the looks he throws your way the entire night, as if to send signals. You know he’s flirting, but you also don’t know how to flirt back. That changes after alcohol enters your system. It’s only two shots, just enough for a happy buzz, but it increases your confidence dramatically. You don’t know when you make the initiative to dance with the handsome man, but pretty soon his hips are grinding expertly against your ass. The rest of the group cheers on, waving their drinks in the air in support.

Normally, you’d avoid a man like Hoseok. He seems like the kind of guy Jungkook would tell you to stay away from: the fuckboy who’s only after your body, and will break your heart after he gets what he wants. But right now, you don’t care. Jungkook’s already broken your heart, so there’s not much Hoseok could do to hurt you. Not to mention how nice it feels to be desired, for a change. If the boys could see you right now, you’re sure they’d think of every synonym of ‘slut’ in their head, but his hands feel too good on your waist for you to care.

“Wanna chill in my room for a bit?” His breath tickles your ear, voice deep and breathy.

You nod, interlocking your hand with his as he leads you up the stairs. Ara slaps your ass as you pass by, yelling “Go tap that, y/n!” over the blaring music.

His lips are on yours the moment you enter his room, diving in like you’re the most delicious thing in the world. It’s not long before you’re on the bed together, his body pressed to your side as his lips latch onto your neck. You let out a moan when his teeth graze a sensitive spot below your ear, making him attack the area even more fervently. You feel a hand on your chest, groping you over the dress.

It’s too much. You’re not comfortable. But you also don’t know how to say you’re not comfortable without ruining the mood. It’s a warzone in your head when his hand starts going up your thigh.

Maybe I should just go along with it.

I’m overreacting.

It’s just sex.

People do it all the time.

Don’t ruin the mood.

Hoseok notices the lack of moans, pulling away to look at your face, which looks too lost in thought for his liking. “Hey, are you good? Do you wanna keep going?”

You nod but he’s not convinced.

“You don’t seem sure.”

“I’m sure” you lie.

“That was the most unconvincing ‘I’m sure’ I’ve ever heard.”

Your face grows red, embarrassed that he could see right through your façade of confidence.

“Sorry” you mumble, eyes looking down to avoid his.

“Don’t be, it’s cool. I just don’t wanna do anything if you’re not fully into it.”

His words throw you off. This isn’t what Jungkook told you guys like him are like.

“C-can we still make-out? Or it’s totally cool if you want to find someone else! No worries!”

He chuckles in amusement before diving back in to meet your lips, this time keeping the whole vibe more PG-13—aka less groping and more intertwining his fingers in your hair. Surprisingly, Hoseok stays like that with you for the remaining duration of the party. You were sure he’d get bored of it soon, as it’s far tamer than what he’s used to, but he doesn’t. Even more of a surprise is what you two do when you’re not locking lips…talk. Just talk, about everything and anything.

“There’s no way you’ve taken a nap in every building on campus!”

“It’s true! Ask Namjoon! I text him post-napping selcas after every one,” he says with pride, making you burst out into laughter.

The rest of the night is filled with the same banter in between kisses, until you tell him you should probably go back to your place.

“Do you need a ride home? I only had one shot since I was hosting, and that was hours ago. I’m good to drive if you need.”

“Um yeah, actually, that’d be great.”

When the car stops in front of your residence hall is when you ask the question you’ve been debating on whether or not to ask the entire ride.

“Is it lame if I ask what tonight makes us?”

He’s not giving you a judgmental look like you feared, smiling warmly instead.

“I was thinking we could be friends.”

“Friends who make out?”

“If you want that then yeah. Or just friends is cool too. I really like talking to you y/n.”

“I really like talking to you too, Hoseok…and making out with you too.”

“Well then it’s decided” he winks.

___

Monday comes around and you’re heading to the library when you run into two of the girls Ara introduced you to: Jennie and Jisoo.

“Y/n! Come sit with us!” Jennie calls, motioning towards a spot next to her on the library’s lawn. You make your way to them, saying your hellos and how are yous.

“What are you working on?" Jennie questions, in between perfecting her lipstick.

“I’m writing a paper for my child development class.”

“Ooh interesting, so are you like an education major?”

You nod.

“That sounds fun. We’re both in neuroscience..aka we hate ourselves.” Jennie jokes, causing Jisoo to giggle. Your prejudices are once again put in check when they mention their majors.

The three of you get to working on your respective assignments. You get distracted, however, by your phone buzzing.

Kook: Where are you? We should talk.

You: I’m outside the library.

Kook: I’m omw.

 You feel a sense of relief wash over. He texted first. He wants to apologize, surely. So you jump up when you see him, excusing yourself from the girls to make your way over.

What you expect is a string of apologies and him coming to his senses, what you get, however, is a different story.

“What the fuck y/n.”

You look at him puzzled.

“I can’t believe you fucking ditched us to spread your legs for Jung Hoseok.”

“Jungkook what are yo—”

“Save it, everyone from that frat party saw you two going to his room together.”

“But that’s not wh—”

“Do you even know how stupid of a decision that was?! Losing your virginity to him, of all people? You know what people say about girls that sleep with Hoseok, don’t you? Were you that desperate for dick that you just threw yourself at the first guy willing?”

Tears start prickling your cheeks.

“Great, I can’t even call you out on your bullshit without you crying.”

“Wh-why are you being so mean?” You manage to squeak out.

“Are you stupid? It’s because I don’t want a best friend who sluts around, obviously. I can forgive you since this is the first time, and I know how manipulative guys like Hoseok can be, but only if you go back to being the y/n that I kno—”

“Or we can stop being friends” you interrupt, defeated.

He stills, body freezing at your words. “What?”

“I’m tired, Jungkook. I’m tired of all of this. Let’s just stop.”

“Y/n—”

“Bye Jungkook.”

You wipe your tears and go back to sit with Jennie and Jisoo, feigning ignorance when they ask what’s wrong.

____

A/N: Thank you for reading! Hope your day is going well <3 Reblogs and comments are highly appreciated!

#jungkook x reader #hoseok x reader #bts angst #bts smut #bts x reader #hopekook

[fan-goddess]

Sugar daddy!aegon x reader au?

Authors note: Yeah sure I’ll definitely try! I kinda adjusted it so it’s still technically sugar daddy!Aegon but with a sort of relationship with it as well… it’s complicated. Also the plot is kinda similar to my onset patience, but we’ll just ignore that…

Taglist: @lovelykhaleesiii, @arcielee, @blue-serendipity,

Warnings: Sugar daddy stuff, allusions to smut, some angsty stuff, some fluffy stuff

The sound of your phones notifications made your heart pick up, and when you read them your face just instantly brightened.

You’d met Aegon on an official sugar baby app a few months ago. He was a little older yes, but he was honestly the nicest person when you’d begun to talk to him, and it helped he was somehow both the cutest and the hottest guy you’ve ever seen.

You hadn’t done anything like being a sugar baby before in your life, but the recent increase in the economy meant your life had gotten ten times harder, in every way that was possible. Soon, the pay you got at your simple job wasn’t cutting it, and the bills were piling up, as well as the worry of paying for your schooling.

One of your coworkers, a darling woman only a few years older who you’d confessed your money issues to, had recommended the app. Claiming she’d used it during her own schooling years and it payed well. All you needed to do was know who was a creep and who was actually a sweetheart.

When you had downloaded it, at first the app had just stayed unopened for weeks. Merely sitting there in your home screen, practically mocking you whenever you went past it. The bright pink colour of the icon effortlessly drawing your attention to it every time. You only opened it by accident, only after you went to go into your camera app to take some random picture, and yet when you realised you were looking at the log in screen for the app, you just couldn’t find yourself closing the app. Instead, you took a deep breath while staring at the screen, and filled out the necessary information with nervous breaths.

It’d been a couple days before you received your very first message. An ordinary looking guy at first glance, who according to his profile was in his forties and worked in a high position in a kind of security firm. Though when you opened the message, you found no helloes no asking how your day was. Instead, his first message was him just wanting to know if you would be interested in sending him some feet pics. To be honest, you don’t think you’ve ever blocked anyone faster than what you did then. Still, you didn’t get any more notifications from the app for a while, and even though you didn’t necessarily want the app in the first place, you must admit that your self esteem certainly went a little down hill.

However, a couple more weeks had passed when you woke up with a message request saying someone was interested, and when you looked at his profile, you honestly felt your cheeks become deep red with blush. He had a silvery-blonde hair colour that you’d never seen on anyone before, and his eyes were a gorgeous shade of purple that made them look almost lavender. When you finally stopped gawking at the profile and looked at what he’d sent you, silently praying that it wouldn’t be like the first time, you’d been so relieved to have been greeted with just a simple hello with a matching emoji. It was so simple, and yet you found it so easily adorable as well.

You couldn’t deny that he was attractive, and it wasn’t long till you found yourself answering to him and actually talking to him. Again, you were nervous he’d try and sneak in questions on feet, but the relief hit you hard when no conversations like that even happened. In all honesty, it didn’t even feel like you were talking to a sugar daddy. If felt like you were taking to a friend.

Though that friend bubble needed to be broken, and soon the topic of why the both of you were on the app came up. You’d confessed how you were in money troubles, and Aegon told you about his desire to treat someone with a kind of kindness that he never really received. He said that he liked to feel like he was wanted, even if it was for money, which is all honestly made you quite sad for him, and when you told him your concerns about that he just brushed it off quickly, as if he was used to it.

Though soon, an agreement was made between the two of you. He’d take you out for all these nice things, get to parade you proudly at family events and in return, he’d pay you for your time generously and get to treat you every so often.

One of the guidelines of the app when you first signed up included answering whether you’d be interested in having sexual relations with your sugar daddy, and you’d ticked yes with the image of this gorgeous older man in mind. You were almost tempted to change it after the feet guy, but you were glad you didn’t. Aegon had made it clear he’d never force you to have sex with him, a fact you were grateful of. Yet even so, there was this sort of line between the both of you that every so often kept getting smudged and blurred.

If you could’ve, you probably would’ve blamed Aegon and his stupidly pretty face. The first time it happened, he’d taken you to some high class bar, and of course as Aegon did he bought some very expensive wine. You were never good handling your drink, and Aegons flirtatious words that you usually would just slyly answer back with a smile, became too much for tipsy you as your face began to go warm and flush a deep red as you began to heavily flirt back with a hand on his arm. Sober you the next morning, while you laid in bed naked under the sheets with your legs numb after cumming around five times, couldn’t help but feel an immense pride as the image of Aegons flustered smiles came to memory.

Though soon that line got crossed over again, then again, then again. Until nearly every time Aegon took you out for a meal with his family or some kind of business type of situation, it ended in him driving you home, then fucking you stupid either in the car or in your or his bed.

It was a similar type of deal today, as tonight was a family dinner that Alicent claimed was arranged months ago. However, unbeknownst to her it was also the year anniversary of when you agreed to be Aegons sugar baby, and if the both of you had been able to have your way then there’s no doubt of mind the evening would’ve been spent by ordering food in and putting on a random movie the two of you could make fun of.

After Alicent had called him to remind him, Aegon had made sure to let you know that he wasn’t forcing you to go to this, and that he could most likely handle the evening by himself. But to his surprise, you’d persisted and actually said it’ll be nice to see his relatives. “I swear I’ll pay you like, five times I usually do darling! Fuck I am so lucky to have you!” He exclaimed pecking at your forehead with small kisses in gratitude. You can’t deny the slight twinge in you guy that you felt at the reminder of him paying you, but it didn’t matter to you at that moment. Only Aegon currently mattered.

The piece currently laying on your bed in front of you was something Aegon had suggested. A little thing he joked would help get the both of you through the no doubt soul sucking dinner with his family. It was a basic piece, just a red lace set of a matching bra and panties. Yet when you showed him what they looked like on you in the store, you could see it in his eyes that he was on the very edge of being brought on his knees from the sight alone.

When you put it on and posed with it in front of the mirror just now, you could’ve help but feel slightly excited for what’ll possibly happen later. You pare the piece with a deep blue dress that Aegon always compliments you in, and when you get the text to let you know that he’s waiting for you downstairs, you can’t help the smile and the slight blush from appearing.

As you step out of your building and look around, it’s not hard to spot the near comical looking gold painted car that Aegon had affectionately nicknamed Sunfyre. It’s a ridiculous looking thing to see you have to admit, but it’s such an Aegon car that you can’t help but secretly adore it.

When you get in, Aegon gives a small teasing whistle while he looks you up and down in appreciation. “Fuck baby… gonna make me wanna stay in and have you for dinner…” he grins. “Did you wear the piece?” You choose to not directly answer, and instead you simply pull the sleeve of your dress down slightly to reveal the contrasting red fabric with a cheeky smile. “Good girl” He smiles before placing a possessive hand on your thigh and starting the car before driving in the direction of the restaurant.

When you get two eventually get there, you’re both greeted with Alicents smiling face. It’s sort of funny that Alicent doesn’t know how you and Aegon really met, or the real contact of the two of yous relationship. If she ever did find out how you met, she’d probably lose her mind.

For the rest of the night, you play the part of the loving and doting girlfriend to perfection. You make sure to talk to Helaena about her current affairs, and when Alicent attempts to inquire more about your and Aegons early relationship before he introduced you to them all, you make these stories sound so real that there’s even an almost wistful tone in your voice. You can even see Aegon looking at you out of the corner of your eyes with an almost saddened look, yet still you choose to ignore it and continue on with the night.

By the end, Alicent makes sure to let you know that she loves you, and talks all about how much she looks forward to making you an official daughter of hers. As much as the idea makes your stomach twist, you have to awkwardly laugh it off and move backwards towards the car while Aegon makes quick work of distracting her while she begs for some more grandchildren. When you get in, you turn the radio on to some random station and wait for Aegon to get in and start the car.

“I’ve transferred you the money, you wanna stay at mine or stay at yours?” He asks as he starts the car and drives off.

“I got an early class tomorrow, so mine please Aeg.” You smile, turning to him to speak before looking back out of the window to the scenery.

The rest of the car ride is filled only with the sound of some cheesy pop song playing on the radio, while you attempt to pass the time by variating between looking out the window and scrolling aimlessly on Instagram. You can still see Aegon peeking over at you every so often, and still you just pretend like you don’t see it.

Though when Aegon places a hand on your upper thigh, you can’t deny the warm feeling you feel in your lower belly, and in turn like a reflex you place your own hand on his, and lazily stroke a finger on the warm skin.

It’s late that night, when you find sleep eluding you can’t help yourself from tossing and turning in your bed. A couple times you even find yourself reaching out for Aegons warmth, and feel even more miserable every time when your hand makes contact with the cool sheets.

It’s around half eleven though when there’s a strange knock on the door, and when you answer it in your silk nightgown, you can’t even hide surprise on your face when your eyes make contact with Aegons.

“What are you doing here?” The breathless tone you speak in surprises even you.

“I couldn’t sleep…” Aegon mutters. He’s dressed in casual clothing, but he obviously didn’t dress himself with style as an intention, cause if you weren’t as tired as you were you’d joke he looked like Valyrian Adam Sandler. His eyes are drawn to the floor, and when you look down too you can’t hide the amusement when you realise he’s actually looking at the skin of your legs. “Needed to see you, as I missed you…” You can’t deny the warm feeling in your chest and the small smile you can’t resist when you hear Aegons confession, cause it’s just what you were feeling half an hour ago yourself.

You can’t deny it for both for him and yourself as you step aside and motion for him to come in. Aegon trails in as you shut the door and lock it behind him, and yet he does’t take much time to drag himself to your bed and strip himself down to his underwear and get under the covers.

When you walk back to your bedroom to join him, it’s almost as if it’s automatic when he opens his arms to welcome you in a cuddle, and when you do give in and let his arms surround you in a hug, you can’t help but smile in the comforts of his chest as his body heat seems to completely surround you, and you just get this feeling of safety rushing over you.

When you signed up to the sugar baby app, you never thought you’d meet a guy like Aegon, and as you feel yourself become sleepy with the mixed sound of his light snores and his heartbeat, you honestly don’t think you’d change or willingly drop this agreement for anyone else.

#sugarbaby #sugardaddy #sugar daddy!au #sugar daddy!aegon targaryen #modern!aegon targaryen #modern!aegon x reader #modern!aegon ii targaryen #modern!aegon ii #modern!aegon targaryen smut #modern!aegon targaryen/reader #modern!aegon #modern!aegon targaryen x reader #modern aegon targaryen x reader #modern aegon ii #modern aegon targaryen #modern aegon #house of the dragon #modern! house of the dragon #modern!hotd #modern house of the dragon #modern!au #hotd modern au #modern hotd au

[heyidkyay]

And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Seventeen

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way? 

Authors Note: Okay! Hi!:) Just have to say thank you for all the love you lot keep showing this series, it’s so mad and so very appreciated. Honestly makes me want to carry on writing. But I also wanted to add a quick warning to this update.. There is a lot going on, we finally get what we’ve been waiting for!! But there are other topics that also come into play. SO that being said please read the warnings below.

Warnings: Mentions of drug and alcohol abuse (past tense), as well as sobriety, also a previous death, bit gruesome but needed- this relates back to a conversation held between Matty and Jamie in Part Eight.

> Last update: look back here if you'd like!

Masterlist

She never did call.

Matty waited, and then waited some more. He fidgeted the rest of the day, smoked his way through a pack of fags when they’d been down at the studio, and then nursed a single pint after having allowed the guys to bully him into one of the local pubs.

It wasn’t until much later that night that he heard anything from her at all, and it hadn’t been a call, but instead a text.

Messages now Squeaks xx I listened to it 

He’d been cooped up in his office since the second he’d gotten home, looking through a couple of older demos and other sound clips in hopes that he’d find something that would fit with the current sound of their new album. George had been on his case about it all, claiming he’d been too spaced out as of late, so Matty had huffed but ultimately followed through.

Songbooks from years before were piled up high on his desk and on the floor, pages full of chords and scribbled lyrics cluttered the rest of the space, but he continued on, using it to distract him from the torturous wait.

When his phone finally did buzz, Matty had almost decided not to answer it, figuring that it would just be a message from Jamie, or maybe his mum. He was still waiting for that ring. But fuck was he glad that he’d taken a glance. Otherwise he might’ve missed it.

Are you busy?

The next text had come through almost a minute after the first, as though she’d been debating sending it. Matty frowned down at the screen, pushing away from his desk slightly.

She’d heard it.

She’d heard the demo. 

He didn’t quite know how to feel about that, or what to take from her clipped response. It was why he had essentially asked her to call him, because at least then he would’ve been able to somewhat determine what she’d thought about it, how she might’ve felt.

His tongue slid between the row of his front teeth in thought, staring down at the messages he’d received whilst his thumbs hovered over the keyboard looking for something to say.

Can you come over?

His fucking breath got caught in his throat just reading that, his tongue suddenly too big for his mouth. Matty didn't even think before he hastily answered her, worried she might take it all back.

Give me ten minutes.

He could do ten minutes. 

Fuck it. He’d fucking speedtail it out of here and try for five if it meant that she’d just let him in again. The last week had been painful enough, no need to fucking prolong it.

So that was what he did, throwing on the first pair of trainers he’d found in the hallway and grabbing at the car keys he’d tossed down on the counter months earlier. Forgetting about the album and the work he’d planned to do, along with whatever else that had seemed so important just a second ago.

She called and he would come running.

…

It was pissing down by the time he made it to her place.

Headlights on and ignition still running, Matty went to make his escape from the driver's seat, practically vibrating with the anticipation of it all. But he did momentarily pause to yank the keys from beneath the wheel before eventually scrabbling his way out of the sidedoor, feet immediately dropping into the murky puddle sat beneath. 

He’d parked like a fucking dickhead, halfway onto the curb and his boot sticking out into the empty street, but he could care less about it as he jogged around the front of the car and up the first few steps to her door.

There was blood rushing in his ears, filling up his head and making him dizzy with it all. He raised a fist to knock, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

He’d gotten there in just under seven minutes. 

His heart was pounding like mad. 

He knocked. 

It was minutes or maybe seconds before he heard a slight scuffle on the other side. Before the hallway light turned on and peered through the painted window pane sat atop the familiar front door. 

The chain fell with a clang and Matty swallowed, watching on as the hinges creaked, revealing her face.

She stared up at him, standing in a pair of pyjamas he remembered seeing on a late night call of theirs, her hair all tied up in one of those pretty buns, soft curls escaping at the sides.

Her lips parted with her next breath, the sound of it jumped out at him and Matty couldn’t really hold back anymore. It had been six months. Six whole months. Almost to the day they’d met... Back when he’d been cocksure and arrogant. When he’d still been reeling from another stint in rehab, and from the stunt before the summer, and from Luke’s death.

Matty paused. 

He hadn’t really thought about Luke so easily. Not ever. Not since that night. Not in passing.

But she was currently staring back at him. Her eyes wide and tired. Shining in the light of the street lamps that crowded the street outside. 

Matty stepped forward, reaching for her. 

“Tell me to stop.” He muttered. 

She didn’t. 

And so his hand found the edge of her jaw, fingers nestling into a place at her hairline, skimming the tip of her ear.

“I can’t.” She answered him. Always so full of truth. 

And Matty, Matty was a selfish man. He’d been a selfish kid, too. A bratty teenager. A hellish son and an even worse boyfriend. Always so egotistical, so bold, so brazen. But even more so, selfish. 

He would take and take. And this moment was no different. He took.

Her mouth met his with an agonising fever, and there was an eager sigh that escaped in the breath shared between them that Matty couldn’t really determine if was his or hers.

She let him in so easily, let his tongue roam. She let him pull her close, let his hand find purchase on her hip and hear her moan. 

It was a whimper of a thing, a sound that was swallowed up by his mouth as he consumed her again. But it fuelled that fire within him, that heat which had been simmering so close to the surface of his skin for weeks, months now. 

“Mouse.” Matty said shakily, walking her backwards, further into the flat, where their feet shuffled over the hardwood floors. The door swung shut behind them and rattled in the silence before he was spinning and pressing her shoulders up against its cold wood. 

“Matty.” She breathed back to him, fingers catching on his neck, then his jaw, winding their way up into his hair. Tugging. 

A grunt escaped him and he pressed harder with it, teeth catching on her teeth, hands moulding into her skin. 

She tasted of something sweet, it coated the length of her tongue and melded well with the cigarette he’d lit on his way over. He wanted to taste more of it, found his nose pressing against the skin of her cheek in an attempt to do so. 

It was a second later that he felt himself rut up against her, accidentally mind, but the zip of his jeans tugged at the band of her bottoms and the movement made him realise he was hard. Had been half-way there from the moment she had texted him, but now, in her hallway, with her grinding up against him, and with those pretty little sounds she let slip, it was almost painful.

“Squeaks.” He managed to force out and she swallowed her own name right up, one arm wrapping around the length of his shoulders whilst the other tugged at the nape of his neck. 

Matty followed her demands effortlessly, a hand slipping under the hem of her shirt to feel at the warm skin hidden beneath, a calloused thumb brushing against the jut of her hip.

He explored, felt the edges of rigid flesh she kept hidden and out of sight, the freckles that lingered and dotted her torso, then wedged his knee between her legs. Hands grabbing at the backs of her thighs. 

One of her knees rode up higher on his side as he shifted even closer, letting her use him like a makeshift ladder to lift herself further up in the little space which stood between him and the door. 

He rutted again and the joint of her knee tightened by his hip, the heel of her foot digging into the back of his leg, forcing him even nearer. He grabbed at the swell of her arse, noting the way she arched into him at the touch. How her stomach tensed. 

It had just been pissing it down outside, he recalled belatedly, but her warmth in that moment seemed to dry up the remaining raindrops caught in his hair and along the shoulders of his coat. His fingertips pressed harder into her thighs at the thought, feeling the bottom of her shirt ride up higher between them upon catching on the zip of his jacket. 

She nipped at his lip, then his jaw, hands all but clawing at his neck and his back.

“Squeaks.” He tried again, brain hazy with want but needing to do this right. He had to do this right. “Squeaks.” Again he said, a plea within a shared breath between them, “Baby, please.”

She retreated all too quickly, letting him go with a sharp inhale. Lids heavy with avidity as she blinked back at him. 

Matty realised then that he’d had her pinned to the door, crowded against the wood and practically having lifted her up off of her feet. He swallowed thickly at the sight and willed his dick to calm the fuck down. But it had been way too fucking long. 

He was unhurried in the way he shifted beneath her before carefully letting her go, unwinding the leg he held at his hip before she slid slowly down his front. Feet hitting the cold wood floors with a soft thud.

He blinked and gone was that selfishness they had just shared, that immediate heat, and suddenly she was all wary, shy almost. Matty reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, before he steeled himself and finally took a step back.

“You came.” She murmured after a breath, and had his mind been in better shape he’d have been quicker with his quip.

But yet, he was left drifting in between the heady thrill and the uneventful come down they’d shared. 

He blinked slowly at her. Could see that the hallway light was the only one on, but somewhere, further down the hall, a soft glow from one of her many lamps crept its way past a door. 

“You said you’d call.” He found himself saying in reply, though it wasn’t the reprimand he’d thought it was. 

Her smile was soft then. Fond. 

His breath caught at the sight of her, still laboured from the minute before.

“After.” Squeaks whispered in recall. And Matty heard himself repeat it, “After, you said.”

She took a small step closer to him, the padding of her feet echoed in the narrow walkway. Matty’s hands twitched at his sides.

He saw her throat bob. 

“Tea?” She questioned, and Matty was both thankful and resentful for the quiet offer. 

He nodded, blinking owlishly at her. 

They stood there, not moving, for a long moment. The sound of a car passed, then the scuffle of a person or two outside, as well as the far off yap of a neighbouring dog. And still they just stood there, staring.

She took another step nearer and Matty attempted not to react to the way her fingers caught on the front of his coat, memorising the careful way she started to peel it off of him, turning so that she could claim it and then hang it off some place to the side. He looked at her the whole while, scared to take his eyes off her, in truth.

He licked at his lower lip when he caught her staring too and captured her hand in his when she went to step around him. 

“Tea.” He reminded himself and she smiled, eyes flickering across the length of his face. As though she was seeing him for the first time.

“Tea.”

…

Her kitchen always felt so homely. 

She had spices fixed to a rack on the wall, wound in growing ivy attached to the potted plant that sat on the windowsill beside it. Her fridge was dotted in magnets and polaroids, and a drawing of Teddy’s hung front and centre. The table was always so neat, though still cluttered with the odd crayon and lego piece, a bowl of fruit was perched in the very middle. She had one of those kettle cosy’s too, a knitted one that reminded Matty of days spent at his nana’s house when he was just a boy. 

His favourite part of all of it though, had to be her. 

He stood in the doorway and just watched as she puttered about the space, flashbacks of previous visits coming back to him. She had this easy grace about her, an elegance he always seen but could never quite make out. She was a piece to many puzzles in the way she typically held herself, so ready to fight and so willing to wilt, but in that moment she just was.

And Matty could hardly tear his eyes away from her, from the length of her back to the curve of her waist. The taste, the memory of her still coating his tongue.

He’d kicked off his shoes before he could trail a messy track throughout her home, so his footsteps were quiet when he finally crossed the kitchen tiles. He paused just behind her, his hands falling to her hips whilst his chin dropped to rest on her shoulder.

She allowed it. Picking up the kettle to pour over two mismatched mugs, he simply watched her work.

It was a difficult task not allowing his hands to wander, or to keep his mouth from pressing against the pulse in her neck, but he withheld, content to just hold her. Humming when she picked up the milk and thinking over the last day they’d spent together. That night at his.

They moved over to the table not long after, her kitchen blinds were still open so the moon gifted them all the light they needed. Matty kept close, knocking his knees against hers at the very corner of the table, unwilling to go without.

She was quiet still whilst she danced a finger around the rim of her steaming brew, Matty was mesmerised by the delicate motion.

A hum of hers broke the silence they had since settled in, the softness of it causing him to blink and look up, immediately recognising the faint tune of the demo he’d sent her.

He smiled, his eyes caught on to the one she wore too. Practically conspiratorial.

His legs reached outwards to capture one of her ankles between his feet, her gaze flickered back and forth between both his eyes. He wondered what she saw in them, what she made of him.

“I’m guessing you liked it then.” Matty spoke, voice ever so low, still scared to break their languid solitude.

Mouse dipped her chin in a nod, peering up at him through dark lashes that made him want to catch her by the neck and pull her in again. He knew what she tasted like now, he felt as though it would forever haunt him.

“Thank you,” She whispered after, fingers cupped around the bottom of her mug. His brow furrowed.

“For what?”

She smiled again, blinking at him sweetly, “For my gifts, for always being so lovely, for sending me that song.”

Matty snorted, knowing that the last thing he could possibly be was lovely.

Fingertips touched his chin then and she guided his face back up to meet hers, he hadn’t realised he’d even looked away. But it was then that he was reminded of that night in his own kitchen, crowded between her legs and the counter, her kind eyes. You’re enough.

“Was it for me?” She questioned, watching him closely again. Something she tended to always do. “‘Cause that kiss, it sort of made it feel like it was for me.”

Matty grinned, eyes squinting with the strength of it. 

It was so easy- too easy, even- for her to make him smile like that, and he couldn’t even begin to decide whether he loved or hated the fact that she had the ability. 

“Yeah, Squeaks. It was for you.”

Her cheeks dimpled in an attempt to dim the smile she then wore, elbows pressing against the table’s edge, her foot resting on top of his own. “Good.” She murmured, leaning in closer now.

“Good?” He chuckled, following the motion. Eyes caught on the curve of her mouth.

“Uhuh,” She breathed into the small space between them, nose brushing against the side of Matty’s own. “Really good.”

He laughed again, low and breathy this time around, before he finally closed the distance and kissed her for a second time.

She laughed too, smiling against his lips.

–

For an insomniac, the dark was a place full of many contradictions.

Matty had spent countless hours staring up at all types of ceilings, in all sorts of places, and in all kinds of countries. But hers, he reckoned, was possibly his favourite. As most things had come to be in the short time he’d spent with Mouse.

Because even as she slept on beside him, bundled in the duvet and a blanket that smelt of her, he didn’t stress over the fact that he was still wide awake. 

His mind was too preoccupied to stress. Just thinking back to the expression she’d worn when she’d first opened the front door. To the breathy gasps that had escaped her in the hallway. The way she’d gently carded her fingers through his hair after she’d lured him into bed. Promising to talk more tomorrow.

He thought of Luke then, as well. As he often did whenever the darkness plagued him.

The fucker would be laughing if he could just see him now, obsessing and all soppy over some bird. Smiling away to himself in the dark.

But Matty knew that he’d be happy too. Glad that he was finally getting back on the right track. Actually trying this time around. Because Luke had known the hardships of addiction just as well as Matty had- it was what had killed him in the end, wasn't it.

He could still picture his face, both before and after the fall. One second they’d all been grinning on that roof, high as kites and drunk out of their minds, having the time of their lives, and then his had hit the concrete.

Matty’s stomach rolled at the thought.

At the eerie silence that had followed.

He’d been struggling that night, trying to get clean, to stay clean. And they’d only gone to the party, Luke and Danny, to appease him. Luke, having tagged along wanting to look out for him, to make sure that he didn’t get too caught up in anything he couldn’t get himself out of.

Luke had been sober three months at that point. Clean of the drugs and the drink. All of it. He’d drank that night though, the party had been at one of his dodgier mates places and he wouldn’t have been able to have stayed in the clear.

Matty remembered egging him on, telling him to live a little. To have a beer. A shot. And then another. And another. Someone else had offered him that line though.

He’d been hammered by the time some idiot had come up with that dare and they’d all thought it had been a sick idea to try and walk the length of the roof. Like they were at Zippo’s sodding circus.

Luke had been doing so good. Matty had known it too. What with his first EP coming out that September, something which Jamie had made happen, and his new flat that he’d not long moved into. Away from the familiarity of street corners he knew far too well and faces of dealers that he’d seen time and time again before.

He’d been good. Been going steady.

Then he was just dead.

Matty didn’t close his eyes then, even as they began to water. Didn’t want to see him like that. Knew that he would if only he shut his eyes. Because he couldn't stand to see the reminder, the life that had left him too quickly.

A slight sniff broke him from his thoughts then and he stilled as Mouse moved and turned in her sleep.

He let himself breathe a little easier once she’d settled again, tucking her face into the crook of his shoulder and nestling further into his side. He wrapped an arm around her, needing her close, and then finally allowed his eyes to fall shut, burying his face in the top of her hair.

He wondered if she’d let him stay from now on and pressed a long kiss to her forehead.

He hoped that she would, listening to the quiet that hummed throughout the rest of her flat as his mind began to let go of what consciousness it had once clung on to.

‘Tomorrow’ was his final thought before he eventually drifted off. It had been a long time since he’d thought that he’d ever make it to a tomorrow.

–

It was a grunt I woke up to. The heavy and unfavoured kind, the type that was only ever forced out of you when you received a hefty blow to the stomach.

I felt my face wrinkle as I pressed in closer to the warmth beside me, unhappy to have been woken. But then I heard a whisper, followed by a giggle, which had me blinking blearily and peering up at the toddler now towering over me.

“Wake now?”

“Teddy.” I heard someone else laugh right above my head, and I was quick in the way I looked up, recognising that the warmth I’d been clinging to had been Matty all along. “You’re an actual monster, you know that?”

Teddy squealed happily when Matty tickled his sides, but seemed content with his place on the man’s stomach and the fact that Matty was here at all. 

I wanted to groan at the very idea, I hadn't much thought this through. Not when I’d heard the song, thinking back to the night I’d spent at his, the fight we’d had, the way he’d held Teddy and promised him that things would soon be alright.

It hadn’t felt real. It still didn’t.

“Wake?” Teddy said to me again and I had to give a soft laugh when I felt his finger prod at my cheek, which was probably marked with the line of Matty’s t-shirt now. “Yeah?”

I chuckled again, peering up at him. “Yeah, I’m awake.” I replied, smiling before I rubbed at my eyes.

Matty’s arm seemed to be tucked up under me because it twitched a tad when I moved. I grimaced at the loss of feeling he must have experienced and murmured a quiet “Sorry,” shuffling over slightly so that I could free the limb. But he merely laughed to himself before his hand came up to rub at my arm, keeping me close. 

“It’s fine.” Matty replied, his voice tinged with sleep and grainy from lack of use, but then he winced and flexed his fingers, “Oh.”

I snorted softly and glanced up at him, “Pins and needles?”

His nose wrinkled further, as did his lips when he tilted his head back and tried to shake loose the feeling from his wrist. I let him have his arm back, turning over onto my stomach to simply watch him, drinking in the sight of him whilst I still could.

“Yeah.” He hissed out and Teddy, who was watching too, started to shake his arm alongside Matty.

Matty only noticed the mimicking movement when he felt the toddler shift on his torso and opened his eyes up only to laugh at the way that Teddy was now copying him.

“Oi,” He admonished, using his other hand to playfully pinch at the boy’s side, “What you think you’re doin’?”

Teddy giggled, hair a mess from having just woken but grinning all the while. “Dancin’! Like you!”

I shook my head and bit back my sudden amusement before dropping it down into my hands when I couldn’t quite manage to hide my growing smile.

“Oh, we’re dancing are we?” I heard Matty say, and could feel the grin he probably wore. Then Teddy was laughing again and squirming beside me once more, sounding so happy, before the bed tilted more so to one side and a soft thud was heard. “Oi, where you off to!” Matty asked him whilst Teddy’s giggles still echoed around the space.

“Tele!” Was the only response he got and I listened to the way Teddy’s feet hurried out of the room, having escaped Matty’s merciless tickles.

There was a quiet for a moment before I felt a hand come to cradle my head and fingers card their way through my hair.

I leaned into the touch, savouring it. I didn’t think anyone had ever touched me with such a softness before, like I was something to be treasured, to be held and kept close.

It was a long while before I finally raised my head again, blinking at the sweet sight I was met with. I smiled at the mess his curls were in and the way his eyes squinted in the dim light of the room.

“Hi.” I whispered and his fingers stilled in my hair when he looked back at me. 

Matty didn’t say a thing though, merely shuffled further down the bed, the duvet being kicked somewhere to the bottom before he finally settled in beside me, both our heads now resting on a single pillow.

His fingertips skirted along the edge of my jaw and trailed across the bottom of my lip before his thumb reached out to catch it too, pinching the flesh ever so slightly.

“You snore.” Matty said to me then and my mouth dropped open slightly in offence.

“I do not.”

He snorted to himself, grin widening, “You do.”

I shoved him but his hands were quick to grab at my arms, wrapping them up and moving to press them against his chest. “It’s cool though, they’re cute snores.”

“How the fuck can they be cute, Matty?”

He rolled his eyes at the ask, still grinning away. “Like, just soft and stuff. Don’t stress, I’ve roomed with George and he’s got the lungs of a whale or summat. I could probably sleep next to a fog horn and feel at home.”

A bright laugh escaped me at that, before I was shaking my head gently and looking back at his sleepy smile. “That makes me feel so much better.”

Matty smacked his lips around another grin, shrugging the shoulder that wasn’t pressed to the mattress. He reached out then, brushing a loose strand from out of my face and let his thumb linger on a freckle.

“Your breath stinks as well.”

I bit into my bottom lip at that, narrowing my eyes at him. “Well yours is no better! And besides, you didn’t seem to mind it much last night.”

I went to turn over then but he was hasty in his movements to grab at me, tugging me back towards him, closer this time. I laughed joyfully, “Hey!”

“Hi.” Matty grinned smugly once we'd settled, his hand falling to the small of my back.

I was gripping one of his shoulders now whilst my other arm laid in the little space between us. “I said that already.” I told him, feeling each soft exhale that escaped him. 

He hummed, thumb rubbing circles into my skin. “I missed you, you know.”

My brow furrowed, “You slept right beside me, you muppet.”

He pinched my hip in retaliation and so I chuckled. “You know what I meant.”

I did know.

“Missed you, too.” I murmured, letting my fingertips trail up over the side of his neck, liking the feel of his barely there stubble. “But-”

He stopped me then, nudging my cheek with the tip of his nose, “I know. Later, yeah?”

My eyes fell closed and I hummed in agreement, later was fine. We could talk later.

His hand pressed against the curve of my back, forcing me even closer, and so my fingers worked themselves into his hair. I exhaled softly and tilted my head forward just a touch. He closed the distance between us in a single heartbeat.

Kissing Matty was different, everything about it just felt right in a way that no other kisses ever quite had. Things appeared to click. Fall into place around me. 

But don't get me wrong, it was painful too, because there was that ache in my chest again, the hole that hollowed out my unforgiving heart. I wanted him but at the same time, I was too terrified to reach out and touch.

Our lips brushed, once, twice, then a third time, hesitant and careful, before something shifted and I was taken back to the previous night. To the way his fingers had dug deep into my thighs, to the front door pressing against my spine, to the way he’d held me so weightlessly.

Talking could wait til later, I reminded myself.

Now, all I wanted was for Matty to consume me and I immediately gasped at the cold hand that dragged its way up my side to tease me, thumb brushing against the nipple that hardened beneath it. 

I wouldn’t let him have all the fun though, so without a second thought I rolled him over and settled on his hips. He was surprised by the change but adapted seamlessly, rutting up off the mattress to meet me, one hand still toying with me, taunting, whilst the other cupped the back of my head.

It was back and forth for a short while, mouth chasing mouth, chests heaving with the force of it.

But then, a bang hollowed out the flat.

I jumped at the sudden noise and shot my head over towards the door, listening in closer.

“Okay?” I called out, noting the breathless quality my voice now had. I waited and didn’t move even when Matty’s hands came to just sit on my waist. 

“‘Kay!” I heard Teddy shout back and I released a semi-amused huff before turning back to face the man beneath me, “Sorry.”

And I was. I really was, especially when I forced myself to drop back down onto the bed sheets next to him.

Matty simply chuckled and I glanced over at him, smiling slightly when he reached out to swipe a gentle thumb over the scar on my jaw. “You’re good." I wondered if he was just saying that, but then, "What do you think he’s actually done though? Sounded like the bike to me.”

I sighed at the very thought. The bike had been one of my mum’s many Christmas gifts to Teddy, one which I hardly had any room for in the flat. I silently hoped that it wasn't the bike, but was caught on the way Matty had so easily adapted, moving on without complaint.

Was that normal?

Matty’s hand coaxed me back into looking at him again and I softened when I saw the smile he wore. “Later,” He reminded me, knocking a knuckle against my chin before he withdrew completely, sitting up on the edge of the bed. “How about a fry up then? There's that bakery by the studio or the cafe up near mine, choice is yours but it’s on me.”

“Matty.” I huffed, not a whine but near enough, extending an arm out in hopes that it would call him back to bed.

He smirked, glancing at me from over his shoulder once he'd stood. He dragged a hand through his hair. “Come on, got a growing boy to feed- Teddy too, I 'spose.”

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help my grin. “You’re an idiot.”

“So you’ve said.” He quipped and I could hear how his laughter filled the flat even as he headed for the bathroom, “Teds get ready, mate! We're getting bacon!”

I fell back onto the mattress with a smile, staring up at the ceiling above me with a little bit of hope.

#the 1975 #fic #matty healy #angst #radio host #reader #x reader #x you #george daniel #ross macdonald #the 1975 band #adam hann #fluff #humour #matty healy fic #matty 1975 #matty healy x reader #matty x reader #matty healy x you #ao3 #pining #fame #strangers to lovers #mum reader #kid fic #getting together #SLOWBURN #mutual pining #Warnings #aipoban

[yeonzzzn]

🌕luna nova: sim jake

a vampires bleeding series: three / seven

pairing: jake x afab!reader word count: 4.9k

synopsis: with dorian after jungwon and jay's mates, the boys and the humans travel to the countryside in hopes of laying low and figuring out what dorian actually wants. you and your twin brother take them into your family's spare house. after learning about their true reasons for leaving the city, more unfortunate events unfold causing the boys to seek help from another source.

genre: acquaintances to lovers, vampire!jake, half vampire!reader, angst, some spice.

warnings: mentions of blood and death, swearing, fire, cute jake ♡

☾ jungwon(1) | jay(2) | jake(3) | sunghoon(4) | sunoo(5) | niki(6) | heeseung(7) ☽

Jake hung his head back, legs slightly lifted and hands gripping the tree branch to keep his balance. 

The sky is a mixture of orange and red, the moon slowly lifting in the distance. 

“It’ll be a new moon soon,” Jake whispered to himself. 

Sunghoon sat beside him, an old Nikon camera held to his face. 

“Capturing it?” Jake asks, his best friend adjusting the camera angle. 

“Of course,” Sunghoon sassed, “Why wouldn’t I?” 

Jake chuckled, “Try getting the angle upside down, it’s still pretty this way.” 

Sunghoon glared down at him, “That’s stupid.” 

With a shrug of his shoulders, Jake teased, “You wouldn’t know unless you tried it.” 

Sunghoon rolled his eyes, flipping around into the same position as his friend, holding the camera back to his eye. 

“This isn’t actually that bad,” Sunghoon admitted, “Just need the perf-“

“YOI!!” 

Jungwon dropped down from the branch above, shoving his face into Sunghoon’s camera.

“Capture me instead, Hyung.” 

“When did you ever get here,” Sunghoon snapped, palming Jungwon’s forehead, and shoving him out of the way. 

“Just now,” Jungwon sang, connecting his feet back to the ground. 

Jake sat up, “Where’s the others?” 

“Should be here soon.” Jungwon hummed. 

“You’re more annoying, where’s __?” Sunghoon once again tried to capture a photo of the sunset, just for Jungwon’s face to get right back into the frame. 

“She’s with Jay and __,” he shrugged, “My mate is tired of me.” 

Jake rolled his eyes, “That’s impossible.” 

Jungwon’s eyes lit up, “she’s here!” 

Jake watched the younger runoff, his hands instantly locking onto his mate, embracing her close to him, their smiles ear to ear. 

Jay’s arm was also wrapped around his mate. Jake swears he’s never seen Jay smile as much as he has with her. Their stubborn Jay, is always so serious and self-hatred for what he is just to have folded so easily under her. 

Jake dropped his head in his hands, watching his brothers with their soulmates. A small pit of jealousy forms. 

“Jake, Sunghoon, come down,” Heeseung waved to the two of them, “We need to start this meeting.” 

—

“Wait, you want us to move?” Niki questioned, clearly not liking the idea. 

“It’s what will be best for our pack,” Jungwon crossed his arms, “We have more to protect besides just each other now.” 

Jake twirled his rings around his fingers, taking in the information.

Sunghoon sighed, “Where will we go now? What about our jobs here? School specifically for Niki?” 

“I’ll move if I don’t have to graduate high school again!” Niki raised his hand, “I’ll gladly move if so.” 

“Unfortunately for you,” Jay’s stubbornness at play, “You’re stuck in a seventeen-year-old body, if you don’t attend high school it’ll make it more suspicious.” 

“Not to mention he still acts seventeen,” Heeseung teased, “No one would ever guess that he’s almost two hundred and ten years old.” 

“Says you old man.” Niki teased back. 

Jake laughed along with the banter, happy that it’s been this peaceful. 

“Any other sightings of Lilly?” Sunoo brings back the topic, “Or any other that could be connected with Dorian?” 

Jay’s jaw clenched at the mention of their names, his mate also tensing at the mention, “No. I’ve searched everywhere. Asked around. It’s like both have disappeared.” 

“It’s been almost three months, but we can’t continue to peek over our shoulders,” Heeseung sighed, “Dorian knows where we work, where we all live, where the girls attend college…we need to do what’s best for the pack.” 

“And that’s leaving?” Sunghoon asked, “Again, where would we go?” 

“The countryside,” Jungwon nodded, “It’s away from the city, no one will know who we are.” 

“Or what we are,” Jake mumbled, still twisting the rings around his fingers. 

“Jay and I already found a clinic we will both work at and even a high school for Niki.” Heeseung teased the younger. 

Niki groaned, dropping his head into his hands, “This fucking sucks.” 

“The girls will have a good small community college to continue studies,” Jungwon wrapped his arms around his mate, “Gotta keep this pretty brain learning.” 

“Already smarter than you, Wonnie.” She teased. 

“Baby, I have so many years on you, don’t even.” 

“Anyways,” Jay ignored the lovebirds, “The countryside would be the best bet for us right now. There is also someone who has some knowledge about Dorian, she can keep us up to date.” 

“Another vampire?” Jay’s mate asked.

With a shake of his head, he answers, “No, she’s a dhampir.” 

Jake raised an eyebrow, “Who?” 

—

You pulled the string back, narrowing your vision down to the target, taking a deep breath in, releasing the string and your breath in one go. 

The arrow flew across the field with a quick snap, hitting the target dead in the center. 

You smirked, relaxing your arms. 

A snap of a twig caught your attention, quickly grabbed another arrow to the bow, string touching your cheek, and whipped around to the sound.

“Woah woah! Calm down there Y/N, Jesus.” 

“Archer, I swear to god!” You snapped at your twin brother, lowering your bow, “What if I took your head off!?”

“I’m way too quick, you’d miss.” 

You pointed a finger at the target, “I don’t miss.” 

Archer glared off at the target, ignoring your comment. 

“Anyways, they will be here tomorrow morning,” Archer says, “We need to clean out the spare house.” 

You turn and face the target again, pulling the string back, “Why don’t you go clean it? I’m busy.” 

Archer groaned, “No, you’re helping. You know who they are after all.”

You released the arrow, it once again hitting the middle, “I knew them,” you corrected, “It’s been like a hundred years, they are probably completely different people.” 

Archer sighed, “Y/N, please.” 

You couldn’t resist the pout your brother gave, “FINE!” 

He smiled wide, following behind you towards the spare house. 

“You’re lucky you have a good older sister like me.” You teased him. 

“You are literally five minutes older.” 

Cleaning the spare house took longer than you wanted, but alas it was done. 

“Why did you agree to have them stay here?” Archer asked, sweeping the last bit of dusk into the dusk pan. 

You shrug your shoulders, “The way Heeseung and Jay were talking, it seemed important, the least I could do.” 

Archer slumped onto the couch, “Why are they coming out here? City too much for them?” 

You shrugged again, “I didn’t ask.” 

Archer narrowed his eyes at you, trying to read your very good poker face, “You’re lying to me.”

You looked away from your brother, “I really don’t know.” 

Archer knew he couldn’t press anymore, and let it at that, excusing himself to go home and sleep. 

The boys arrived sooner than you expected that next morning. 

You leaned against the wooden post on the porch, crossing your arms as their car pulled up to the house. 

You caught two other scents with them, two you didn’t recognize…two that aren’t vampires. 

One by one, the seven of them trailed out of the van, two female humans following behind. 

“Lee Heeseung, you didn’t tell me you were carrying humans with you!” you snapped, your mood completely changing. 

Jungwon and Jay quickly pulled the females behind them, giving you glares. 

You notice immediately, your body and mood relaxing. 

“You didn’t say you had mates, I only prepared blood bags for you seven.” 

Jake held up two bags worth of food, “We went shopping when we got into town.” 

You studied him, his half smile sending flutters in your stomach. 

“Long time no see, Y/N.” His Aussie accent was as adorable as ever. 

You nodded, “Indeed it has been,” you looked between the other boys, stopping back at Jungwon, Jay, and their mates, “Please come inside.”

Everyone settled in one by one, the boys all drinking from the bags. 

Jungwon’s mate wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth, her smile never once fading from the sight of seven vampires drinking blood from bags. 

Jay’s mate was even more unphased. She seems just as stubborn as Jay is. 

“Never thought I’d see you two with mates,” You said leaning against the dinner table, laying your head in the corner of your arm, “Mostly nice to know someone can tame that stubbornness of yours, Jongseong.” 

Jay shot daggers through you, “Don’t you have something better to be doing than hanging around here?”

You sat up, giving him a smug smile, “Nope! I want to know why you’ve come to me begging to help hide you here in my parents' spare house, along with your mates.” 

The room went quiet, you looked at each of them one by one. 

“Someone better speak up.” 

“It’s Dorian,” Heeseung finally answered. 

Your heart stopped at the name, “Why the fuck are you here!” You stood up from the table, staring Heeseung down, “What the fuck is going on?!” 

“He’s after my mate,” Jungwon was the first to speak up, “He tried to take her from me.”

“And he almost drowned and killed mine,” Jay spoke in the calmest voice you’ve ever heard. Pulling his mate's hair back, revealing two scars on her neck, “He drank every ounce she had and dropped her off a cliff.” 

You watched as Jay dropped his forehead to hers, his jaw clenched tightly. 

Jungwon also brought his mate closer to him, their hands intertwined. 

You sat back down, “Dorian wants your mates, and probably wants you all dead.” 

They all nodded. 

“He joined up with Lilly,” Sunghoon chimed in, “He must have something else planned besides tearing our pack apart.” 

“And you came to me, why?” You asked. 

Heeseung sighed, “We needed someplace safe, mostly for the girls. But for the safety of our pack. Y/N, you’re the only one who can help.” 

You crossed your arms, squeezing yourself tightly, “What if he finds you all here? He’ll kill us too!” You took a deep breath in, “I have Archer to protect.” 

“Please, Y/N,” Jungwon asked, with pure desperation on his face. 

“Ugh! Fine! If he shows up, I’m leaving you guys here alone.” You quickly stood up, heading for the door, “I apologize deeply for what Dorian has caused for you all, but if he’s planning something, we all need to discuss that soon.”

You stormed off to your house in a second, grabbing your own bag of blood from the fridge and dropping onto your couch, nearly scaring Archer to death. 

“Jesus Christ,” he mumbled, “Did they settle in fine?” 

You nodded, the iron liquid making its way into your system. 

Archer could sense how pissed off you were from the beginning, “Y/N, what is wrong? Why are they here?” 

You shrugged, not wanting to talk about it. 

Archer rolled his eyes, groaning, “I’ll go ask them myself.” 

“Dorian.” 

Archer laughed, “You’re joking, nice joke.” 

“I wish I was,” you sighed, “He’s after their mates and wants to kill them all. They are here to hide.” 

Archer stood to his feet, “What if Dorian follows their scent here?!” 

“Trust me Arch, I know!” You snapped back, “All we can do is pray the witches' spell they put on this town helps hide their scents.” 

Archer started pacing back and forth, “What else did they say?” 

“Lilly joined him.”

Archer groaned again, sitting down on the floor, “Y/N, we have lived peacefully…”

“Archer you don’t have to tell me this,” you rolled your eyes. 

“Do I need to remind you what Dorian did?!” 

You stood up quickly, your index finger dug into your twin's chest, “Shut up, Archer.”

“He killed our parents!!” 

You walked away from him, opening the front door ready to sprint away. 

“Dorian killed your mate!” 

You stopped in the doorway, staring down at the wooden steps, and a pair of shoes suddenly appeared. 

Your eyes followed up on who they belonged to.

“Y/N,” his soft Aussie voice whispered your name.

“Don’t, Jake.” you pushed past him, running as fast as you could. 

—

Jake found you by the pond, watching the fish swim in circles. 

“Y/N…” Jake whispered. 

You turned around and looked at him, “What do you want?” 

“We were friends once which seemed like a lifetime ago…I didn’t know about your parents or your mate.” 

You looked away from him, moving your knees to your chest, “It was after you guys found Niki and left that city to get away from Dorian. We moved out here to do the same. We weren’t so lucky.” 

Jake sat beside you, “Do Heeseung and Jay know?” 

You nodded, “That’s why they didn’t want to tell me over that phone call why they needed to come here.” 

Jake twisted his rings again, “What does it feel like? What did it feel like?” 

You looked over at him, “You mean having a mate, and what it felt like losing them?” 

Jake nodded.

You took a deep breath in, staring off at the water and its movement from the wind. 

“It’s exactly like they all described,” you hug your legs tighter, “Being a dhampir, I didn’t think I could even feel all the parts of having a mate.”

Jake also pulls his legs to his chest, leaning his head on his knees, putting his full attention on you. 

“My father, the vampire side, always talked about the knot that connects you. My mother, my human side, always talked about the warm feeling you get, how the butterflies flutter and your words jumbled together. That you’ll know you found your soulmate.” 

You looked at Jake, giving him a soft smile, “I didn’t think I would even have a soulmate, who could love something like me? Half monster, half human…”

“Okay Jay,” Jake teased, “Everyone is capable of love.” 

You rolled your eyes, “Thank you Captain Obvious!” 

He smiled, “It’s true!”

“Anyways,” you looked away from him, feeling your face slightly flushing, “When I met him, I knew immediately. That knot tied together, pulling me to him. But I also felt that warm feeling, the butterflies and I could barely speak.”

You looked down at your shoes, fighting hard to continue the story. 

“But Dorian came, wanting the witch's spells that my parents were protecting. Obviously, he didn’t get what he wanted and killed them. My mate happened to witness the murder and Dorian…”

Jake tucked his lips between his teeth, knowing exactly what happened without you even having to say it. 

“I was at the market with Archer, and we both felt the connection to our parents fade. But when Dorian took him from me…” 

You clenched the fabric over your heart, the pain resurfacing, “I felt that knot snap. I felt his last breath. And then there was nothing. My colorful world turned dark. My reason for living…gone.”

Jake tried to find the right words to say, knowing nothing could even help. 

Jake clearly doesn’t have a mate. He doesn’t understand how it would feel to have one or lose one. 

But he fully understood now why Jay and Jungwon have gone to these measures to protect their own. 

“I obviously still have Archer,” you continued, “He was there to help keep me from going off in the deep end. It was Archer's idea to have the witches in the neighboring town conceal our scents here to protect us and the rest of the people living here.” 

Jake sat up straight, “Wait.”

You raised your eyebrows, “Yeah?”

Jake stood to his feet, “I know what Dorian could possibly be wanting.” 

—

Heeseung covered his mouth deep in thought, “Y/N, what other information can you gather about the witches?”

You shook your head, “I don’t know, we just grow the crops and take care of the land and send them herbs when they ask to keep them protecting us.” 

“He wants the spells for something,” Jake jumped in, “He clearly does. It would make sense why he’s been feeding as much as he has lately, to build strength.” 

“Then what would he want with me?” Jungwon’s mate spoke up, “He never met me before until that night.” 

“It must be our blood type,” Jay’s mate chimed in, “Jay said when we met that he can tell my blood type based on the smell, I’d assume it’s the same for you all?” 

Everyone except you nodded, you weren’t so blessed with that side of the vampireness. 

“So that clearly means, these witches spells that he wants,” Sunoo put the pieces together, “Needs a specific blood type for it to work. knowing Dorian, he has __ blood from when he almost killed her.” 

Jay’s mate looked away from the table. You could only imagine what she could have felt that night. 

Jake crossed his arms, rubbing his fingers on his chin, trying to put more puzzle pieces together. 

He looked over at you, studying your face as if looking at you would unlock all the secrets of the world. 

And then it actually did. 

Jake took a deep breath in, your scent flowing through him. 

“He also wants Y/N.” 

You look at him, confused, “What would he want with me?” 

Jake tilted his head, “You also have that blood type he needs, on top of where to find the witches for their spells. The only reason you’ve been safe is because of the protection spell.” 

Your body went still. Everything is connected. 

“That makes sense why he always disappeared for months at a time,” Jay tapped his finger on the table, “He is going back and forth between trying to take our girls and find Y/N.” 

“Good thing we came here then,” Jungwon leaned onto the table, “Now we know what he’s after, we have to find the witches before he does. He must know we skipped town by now.” 

“I can go tomorrow,” you said, “I know how to get there, but we all can’t go together.” 

“Why not?” Jay’s mate questioned, “Safety in numbers?”

“That’s not how witches work, babe.” Jay sighed. 

“Witches and vampires don’t get along,” Sunghoon explained, “They will notice seven full vampires and a dhampir, they will conceal themselves and either kill us when we get too close or flee.” 

You nodded, “They will more than likely flee due to the fact you all are in a pack, they won’t stand a chance if they fight you all. Which is why I need to go alone.” 

“No,” Jake protested, “you’re not going alone.” 

You glared at him, “They know me.” 

“And once you leave this town, Dorian could pick up your scent.”

You hated to admit that Jake was right. The witches only were protecting this town, and their town, not in between it. 

“I’m going with you.” Jake couldn’t let you do this alone. 

And you knew you couldn’t stop it from joining. 

“Okay,” Heeseung said, “we will come up with a more solid plan in the morning.” 

Everyone agreed. 

“Can I-“ Niki started. 

“No.” Heeseung and Jay said at the same time. 

Niki stood in silence, looking between the two of them, “What?”

“You start your first day of school tomorrow.” Heeseung teased the younger. 

Niki pouted, “Hyung, you’re joking?”

Heeseung gave him a smile, “Go to bed.” 

—

Jake sat against the wall on the bed, trying to go through his own game plan for the following day. 

He couldn’t explain it, but after seeing you after all these years was messing with his head. 

You've filled his every thought. It even surprised him that he was so quick to join you tomorrow. 

Jake ran his hands through his hair, his stomach doing flips. 

There was a knock on the door, startling Jake out of his thoughts. 

“Yeah?” 

You opened the door, peeking your head through, “You’re still awake?” 

“Obviously.” 

You slipped inside the room, slowly closing the door behind you. 

You leaned against the wall, studying him and his white t-shirt and plaid-designed boxers. 

“You look like you are getting ready for bed?” 

Jake shook his head, “Too deep in thought to sleep.” 

“Getting cold feet about tomorrow? Sim Jaeyun?” you teased him, your heart did a flip as he bit his lower lip with a small smirk. 

“Haven’t been called that in a while,” Jake looked down at his hands, his fingers once again twisting his rings. 

“I was one of the only ones who called you by your actual name.” you brought the memory back. 

Jake nodded, “We didn’t know each other very long then, did we?” 

“Yeah, it was a very short time in that town.”

“I guess one thing about being immortal is having to skip around because locals notice you aren’t aging,” Jake leaned his head against the wall, “You at least still age.” 

You softly giggled, “Yeah I guess I was blessed in that department, I still age but it’s just slower.”

“Gives you a better chance at living an actual life.” 

“How long were you guys in the city?” curiosity filled you.

“Oh shit, awhile,” Jake let out a small whistle, “We moved around a bit into different areas, but once Heeseung and Jay made their names at the hospital and clinic, it made it harder to move.” 

You nodded, “It’s good you were able to stay in one place for a bit longer, ya?” 

Jake softly smiled, “Yeah. Eventually, we were all able to leave what we ended up calling the safe house and got our own places. Heeseung and Jay had their own separate places. Sunghoon and I lived together. Niki was with Sunoo. Jungwon kinda just floated.” 

“I always forget that Jungwon is your pack leader.” You laughed. 

“Why? Is it so hard to believe?” Jake pulled his knees to his chest, waiting for your answer. 

“No, Jungwon is perfect for it,” you quickly spat out, “I don't think anyone else could corral you guys like him.” 

Jake nodded in agreement. 

The room fell silent. Jake could hear how fast your heart was beating. 

“Why is your heart beating so fast?” Jake tilted his head, his hair slowly falling from its part. 

You tucked your lip between your teeth, breaking eye contact with him. 

How do you admit to an old acquaintance that he’s been making your heart go crazy from the moment he stepped foot out of the van? That even all those years ago you may have had a small crush on him. 

Jake could see the blush on your skin, the goosebumps on your skin, and how your chest moved with your increased breathing. 

“Y/N.” 

You looked up at him, the look of want was on his face. 

“Come here.” 

And that’s all it took. You were on him in a second. 

Your fingers tangled in his hair, lips touching his as if your life depended on it. 

Jake’s hands squeezed your hips as he pulled your body even closer to his. 

The mutual pining that was between the two of you was driving Jake up a wall. 

Jake slowly snaked his hands under your shirt, resting them on your back, 

You didn’t know what came over you, you reached for the hem of Jake’s shirt, quickly sliding it up and off his body. 

Your hands slid back down his bare chest, fingers tracing his abs as you shoved your tongue down his mouth. 

Jake felt himself losing control, the mixture of the hormones and your blood was like a drug to him. 

He couldn’t get enough of you. 

Jake wrapped your legs around him, quickly changing positions, and laying you on your back. 

Chills went down your spine. You cling to his bare back, softly letting out a moan. 

“Fuck fuck fuck…” Jake groaned into the crease of your neck, leaving small kisses trailing up to your jawline. 

Jake wanted you. Oh, he wanted you. 

And you wanted him. 

But the thoughts of losing your mate came too, causing you to slide right from underneath Jake and back to the door. 

“I’m sorry…” Jake said, quickly pulling his shirt back over his head. 

“No it’s my fault,” you turned away from him, “I just…”

“It’s about your mate.”

You nodded, “I lost my soulmate, but you still have a chance to find yours, don’t waste any time on me.” 

That was the last thing you said, leaving Jake alone in his room. 

—

You’ve both been walking for hours. Jake’s hair stuck to his forehead from his sweat and the damp air. 

You’ve both been quiet. Barley saying a word to each other since last night. 

It was driving Jake crazy not being able to talk to you. 

Jake was stuck in his thoughts about last night. Scared of the possibility that maybe he doesn’t have a soulmate. That no one was made for him. 

Jake was hoping it’d be you, but not once did he feel this so-called knot. The string of fate. 

“Can we talk about last night, Y/N?” 

You sighed, “There isn’t anything to speak about with it.” 

Jake stepped in front of you, “Yes there is.” 

“Like what?” you scoffed, “We aren’t mates, Jake. I don’t owe you anything.” 

You walked around him, your heart pulling back to him, but continuing forward. 

Jake grabbed your arm, pulling you back towards him.

“Let yourself feel, Y/N.” 

All you could do was stare up at him, unable to speak. 

He took your face between his soft hands, his thumbs making circles on your cheeks, “Let yourself feel again. You are holding yourself back all because of your loss. Let yourself feel.” 

You wanted to open your heart up to him, but the fear of losing someone again, you couldn’t do it. 

“We have to keep going, night will fall soon.” 

Jake followed behind you, knowing he could only do so much to get you to reopen your heart again. 

The sky grew darker as the moon slowly made its appearance. 

Jake stopped, mouth forming into a small smile. 

You no longer heard Jake’s footsteps, turning around and seeing him just standing there. 

“Everything okay?” you asked him.

Jake nodded, his eyes not leaving the sky. 

You walked over to him, looking up at where he was. 

“I’m confused?”

“Luna Nova.” 

You look back at him, “what?”

“Latin for the new moon,” Jake’s smile grew even wider, “Beautiful Luna Nova.”

Jake meets your eyes. The new moon’s light brings out that beautiful cocoa color. 

You wanted to kiss him. To grab his hand and hold it so tightly. 

The gate to your heart has been locked. Jake was right, it was time to feel again. 

You broke the lock to your closed gate and let yourself feel. 

Your heart pulled to him, the beautiful string of fate twisting and knotting together. The familiar feeling of love and want and belonging. 

Tears filled Jake’s eyes, “Is that…is that what it feels like?” 

You nodded, your own tears filling your eyes. 

“Who knew it was still possible to find a soulmate.” You softly whispered. 

Jake kissed you. He kissed you with so much love and passion and with every ounce of lost time from the moment he was born, turned into a vampire, and lived all the lives he has until this moment. Those hundreds of years were now finally worth it. 

He was tied to you. 

Jake released his lips from yours, his sweaty forehead connecting to yours. Your breathing matches his in perfect sync. 

“You’re my Luna Nova, my new beginning…just like the moon phases,” Jake whispered. 

Hand in hand, you lead Jake the rest of the way towards the witch’s village. 

“What is this head witch like?” he asked. 

“She’s roughly our age?” you said, trying to calculate the math in your head. 

“That’s pretty old.” he teased. 

“Yeah, aren’t we all? She’s trapped in her twenties like the rest of us.” 

“Couldn’t be worse than Niki.”

You nodded in agreement, “Poor Niki.” 

Laughter filled you both, but only until you reached the village. 

To be met with despair. 

The land was burning. Young children witches and warlocks were covered in ash and dirt. 

People shouting and crying out for their loved ones who were caught in the fires. 

Homes were torn to pieces by flames and lifeless bodies spread throughout the land. 

“What the hell happened…” Jake was barely able to speak, too shocked at the sight before him. 

You ran as fast as you could towards the village. 

“Y/N! Wait!!” 

You didn’t listen to Jake and kept running. The witches' village was supposed to be hidden. Was supposed to be on the edge of the town, hidden from the world. 

You frantically searched for people to help while asking around for the head witch.

But no one has seen her. 

You panicked, giving Jake orders to help find her, describing her in detail. 

Jake searched all the while helping those in need. 

“Y/N,” Jake showed back up at your side, “The fire isn’t stopping, we need to go!” 

You shook your head, “We need to find her!” 

One of your few vampire gifts was your sense of hearing. You called your eyes and focused hard, searching everywhere, until you heard her breathing. 

“She’s alive!” 

She was found under some rumble from a fallen building. 

“Y/N…” she said barely above a whisper. 

Tears filled your eyes as you and Jake pulled out from the rumble. 

You held her in your arms, pushing her hair out of her face. 

“What happened here?” Jake asked, kneeling down beside you, “What caused this?” 

“Dorian.” She coughed out. 

Your heart stopped, and anger washed over Jake. 

“He came for the spells,” she breathed out, “he knew you were coming for them, you were too late.” 

You looked up at Jake, tears falling down your face, “What do we do now?” 

Jake bites down on his tongue, looking at the witch below him. 

“Get her back to the house, we need to know exactly what happened.” 

You nodded, “So much for a new beginning, huh?”

a/n: i hope everyone is enjoying my little vampire series so far! i have so many ideas planned for the rest of the members and hope everyone looks forward to it! thank you so much to everyone who is keeping up with this series and the continued support. It means everything!

#jake bby #sim jake #sim jaeyun #jake x reader #reader x jake #jaeyun x reader #reader x jaeyun #reader x enhypen #enhypen x reader #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen fanfic #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen #acquaintance to lovers #vampiresbleeding #yeonzzzn writing

[multific]

Small Steps

Vinent de Gramont x Reader

Warnings: Talks about blood and mention of smut at the end

Summary: You and your husband have a conversation about your future.

"I want five." you nearly choked on your food as he said that.

"F-five?!"

"Exactly. Or more." the way he said it with such confidence, made you a little nervous.

"More?! What am I a machine?!" you now regretted bringing up the topic.

"Is five children a lot?" he finally looked up at you, finding your eyes as he looked confused.

"Yes! When you are the one who has to carry them and give birth! Yes, five is a lot."

"I never thought it would be, well, since you brought it up, how many would you want?"

"Two? Maybe three?" you were now nervous to answer him. Sure, you have known him for a long time, married him almost four years ago and you were rather surprised that the topic of children was never truly brought up until today.

"Okay, we could agree on three." he said turning back to his food.

"Okay."

"When?"

"Sorry?"

"When can we start trying? Do you feel ready to be a mom?"

"Oh, I think I am ready. I mean we have been together for almost seven years now, married for four and I didn't even know you wanted children." you looked at him then took a sip from your wine for courage.

"I do want children. I just never wanted to bring up the topic because I didn't want to make you feel like you have to do it for me. With my line of work, you must understand it is difficult but I'm in a much higher position now. I am at a point where I feel like we are ready and no one would hurt you or them. But if you don't feel ready, I understand."

"I will talk with my doctor, stop taking pills and we can go from there. I feel ready to have a baby." you nodded, happy that you two came to a conclusion.

"Small steps, I like that. I will go with you to the doctor."

"I mean I know he reports you every time I'm there, so you would know everything either way." you smiled and he smirked.

"Clever girl."

"I'm also pretty sure the cashier at the convenience store is one of your men."

"Paid him so he would only sell the best stuff for you."

"That explains why he wouldn't sell those bananas for me. He spent five minutes at the back looking for strawberries instead and he made sure they are ripe. It was suspicious."

"You know I just want the best for you."

"I do. And I love you for it." you returned to your pasta as he looked at you still.

"Are we really going to have a baby?" he asked, you sensed in his voice something that he never showed to others, anxiety.

"Yes. We will start trying and see when... it takes." you cringed at your own words but he found it rather amusing, judging by the smile on his face.

"I'll do some research."

"Research?"

"Of course. I never go into something without a plan."

"You don't have to plan for this." you said but you already knew he probably had ten plans ready in his head. Much like when you were engaged. He let you believe that you were the one planning things but he was behind it all from the start.

"But I do, we might need a bigger house and we have to set up their room."

"I'm not even pregnant yet. And I'm on birth control at the moment still! Also bigger house?! We live in a mansion, Vincent. What could be bigger than that?"

"A palace? A castle?" you looked at him, unamused but you could tell he was joking.

"We have twelve bedrooms."

"Then we can have eleven children." he smirked and you wanted to groan but you also found it amusing.

You hoped he was joking, the fire in his eyes did make you take a step back.

"Not my point."

"I was thinking a house which is safer. Not like our current one isn't."

"We have eight houses."

"How many rooms are there? We could fill all with a child."

"Vincent." you giggled but you did mean it as a warning.

"Okay, okay, I was thinking a slightly smaller house. So the baby can be...closer to us."

"Oh, that's sweet. We will look something up, I'm sure we can find a nice safe home."

"How about Versailles?" he suddenly looked at you, pleased with his idea.

"Y-You are NOT buying the Palace of Versailles! Also, it would be so obvious! Everyone knows where it is."

"That's the beauty in it! It's so obvious that it isn't."

"Vincent, please can we just focus on the doctor and my pills first?"

"Small steps." he nodded and soon you were having dessert.

You looked at him as he was eating his cake, he looked so calm and so incredibly handsome.

His eyes caught yours as he noticed you staring. He had a questioning look.

"Maybe... maybe five isn't that many after all. If they all look like you."

"I had the exact same thought. I was watching you at our wedding, dancing with your friends, you looked so stunning. That's when I decided that I would want as many children with you as you would like. Even if you didn't want children, I would have been okay with that." you smiled at his sweet words as his hand reached out and you gave him yours immediately.

"You sound like a love-sick teenager."

"More like a poet, you are my muse."

"Your art is death, Vincent."

"Indeed. And you would look stunning covered in blood." you smirked as you watched his eyes change. His gaze became more predatory, it excited you.

"I think we should go home." he nodded.

Maybe you were supposed to take things slow. Maybe you were supposed to take it step by step.

But as his gaze turned darker by the second all you could think about was him filling you up and whispering the dirtiest things into your ear.

Small steps can wait.

More Vincent

Taglist: @fleursirvart​ @greenarrowhead​ @thisismysecrethappyplace​ @sincerelyfan​ @theoneanna​ @aestheticsandmarvel​ @rororo06 @castellandiangelo​ @destynelseclipsa​ @spilledinkindumpster​ @capsiclesdoll​ @puknow​ @alwayshave-faith​ @alex12948​ @lxdyred​  @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl​ @anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek​ @praline357​ @trshngyn​ @avengers-r-us​ @violet-19999​ @top1bbgloak​   @manduse​   @jacalineiscomingforyou​  

Vincent Taglist: @l4venderia​

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

DO NOT STEAL, PLAGIARISE, REPOST OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS  

#Vincent de Gramont #Vincent de Gramont x reader #Vincent de Gramont x you #Vincent de Gramont imagine #Vincent de Gramont imagines #the marquis x reader #Marquis de Gramont #the Marquis de Gramont #Marquis de Gramont x reader #marquis imagine #John Wick #Wick #john wick x reader #john wick imagine #john wick imagines #bill skarsgard imagine #the marquis x you #the marquis #the marquis imagine #the marquis imagines #marquis x reader

[kk-k-kk]

Godless

Summary: The thriving streets with booming businesses have come to a stand still. Curfews and police raids every few hours to seize any whiff of narcotics terrorised every person, regardless of involvement. The Upper Side lies unfaltering in their picket fences. In this induced borderline dystopia, in your cardboard box apartment you have found a strange joy in watching the actions of a tangerine-stealing thug.

pairing: suga/yoongi/agust d x fem!reader

part warning(s): drug trafficking

a/n: this is still very fun

PROLOGUE

The air smelled of nothing. Every inch of the hall was so clean that the novices took their time with every breath, inhaling the rare fresh air, filling their stomach with it and trying to hold it in as long as they could. 

"I will now begin to present the details of the latest report of seized narcotics from LB-Z*. The entire block has been sealed for now. But our sources tell us that this block was the latest den of Suga-"

"Suga, again?"

"Is he real? I thought that was just for the news?"

"What kind of a name is that?"

The Commissioner cleared his throat, immediately shutting up the murmurs inside the hall. He was old but when he spoke, he sounded another ten years older. He croaked, "No face to the name still?"

The presenter nervously looked towards her superior before stuttering out some vague excuses.

"Do we even know if it is one person or a gang?"

Silence spread through the hall. Every breath could be counted. No one could really understand how this kept happening. Ever since the Complete Narcotics Seize* began in 2025, the nation watched as the reputation of the Korean National Police only flew higher and higher. Drug trafficking cases that were unsolved for years were being closed one after another and just when the international eye fell on the Republic of Korea, Suga appeared. 

The Busan LBs*, which had been quietened, were suddenly posing a huge obstruction to the nation's falling crime rate. The tensions were high as the stakes were higher. Large scale meetings and conferences were being held and Busan Metropolitan Police suddenly became the most searched on the internet. 

It was obvious that a hall full of officers of every rank couldn't understand why suddenly their well put efforts were failing. The murmurs floated from inside the hall to the building, gently spreading through the city until the internet's most searched topic became Suga. 

—

"Are these fresh?"

The shopkeeper eyed the man before him, finding it funny how a grown man was drooling over some tangerines. 

"Yes. Just brought them in. How many?"

"Four."

The shopkeeper nodded, packing it in a polythene and tying a neat knot before handing it over. The crisp notes he received felt unreal, almost like they were just printed. 

"Are you coming from the bank-"

The man was gone by then. Elated, skipping steps with his dear tangerines swinging in the polythene in sync with his unruly hair. 

"What a weirdo!"

LB-Z: Busan which has become the hub of the drug trafficking business has been segregated into categorical regions by the police.

The Upper Blocks and the Lower Blocks comprise Busan. The Upper Blocks are further classified into smaller blocks named, UB-A, UB-B. These blocks are further subdivided into UB-A1 and so on till UB-B1. The basis of the categorization is not disclosed to the public.

The Lower Blocks are divided the same way with LB-A, subdivided into LB-A1 and so on till LB-B1.

LB-Z is a whole block; the very last block at the very edge of the city. It is particularly known to have the worst crimes and cheapest real estate.

Complete Narcotics Seize: Launched in May of 2025 as a 'cleansing operation' by the Korean National Police. The operation focuses on the thorough investigation of all cases related to narcotics. It began with the reopening of closed cases and proceeded to take the entirety of the Republic of Korea by storm. While not officially disclosed, it is rumoured that the operation was launched right before the raid of the offices of Eco-blue, an eco friendly clothing chain, owned by the son of a Presidential Candidate.

Busan LBs: Busan Lower Blocks

#agust d #agust d ff #bts #bts angst #bts army #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts ff #bts fluff #bts smut #yoongi ff #yoongi x reader #yoongi fanfic #min yoongi #yoongi #suga #suga fanfic #kk-k-kk: godless #godless: prologue