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#it's been 5 years and i don't... really remember how i made it all work... but it did?
lightyaoigami · 2 days
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☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆ how to resume ⋆。゚☾。⋆。 ゚☁︎ ゚
after 10 years & 6 jobs in corporate america, i would like to share how to game the system. we all want the biggest payoff for the least amount of work, right?
know thine enemy: beating the robots
i see a lot of misinformation about how AI is used to scrape resumes. i can't speak for every company but most corporations use what is called applicant tracking software (ATS).
no respectable company is using chatgpt to sort applications. i don't know how you'd even write the prompt to get a consumer-facing product to do this. i guarantee that target, walmart, bank of america, whatever, they are all using B2B SaaS enterprise solutions. there is not one hiring manager plinking away at at a large language model.
ATS scans your resume in comparison to the job posting, parses which resumes contain key words, and presents the recruiter and/or hiring manager with resumes with a high "score." the goal of writing your resume is to get your "score" as high as possible.
but tumblr user lightyaoigami, how do i beat the robots?
great question, y/n. you will want to seek out an ATS resume checker. i have personally found success with jobscan, which is not free, but works extremely well. there is a free trial period, and other ATS scanners are in fact free. some of these tools are so sophisticated that they can actually help build your resume from scratch with your input. i wrote my own resume and used jobscan to compare it to the applications i was finishing.
do not use chatgpt to write your resume or cover letter. it is painfully obvious. here is a tutorial on how to use jobscan. for the zillionth time i do not work for jobscan nor am i a #jobscanpartner i am just a person who used this tool to land a job at a challenging time.
the resume checkers will tell you what words and/or phrases you need to shoehorn into your bullet points - i.e., if you are applying for a job that requires you to be a strong collaborator, the resume checker might suggest you include the phrase "cross-functional teams." you can easily re-word your bullets to include this with a little noodling.
don't i need a cover letter?
it depends on the job. after you have about 5 years of experience, i would say that they are largely unnecessary. while i was laid off, i applied to about 100 jobs in a three-month period (#blessed to have been hired quickly). i did not submit a cover letter for any of them, and i had a solid rate of phone screens/interviews after submission despite not having a cover letter. if you are absolutely required to write one, do not have chatgpt do it for you. use a guide from a human being who knows what they are talking about, like ask a manager or betterup.
but i don't even know where to start!
i know it's hard, but you have to have a bit of entrepreneurial spirit here. google duckduckgo is your friend. don't pull any bean soup what-about-me-isms. if you truly don't know where to start, look for an ATS-optimized resume template.
a word about neurodivergence and job applications
i, like many of you, am autistic. i am intimately familiar with how painful it is to expend limited energy on this demoralizing task only to have your "reward" be an equally, if not more so, demoralizing work experience. i don't have a lot of advice for this beyond craft your worksona like you're making a d&d character (or a fursona or a sim or an OC or whatever made up blorbo generator you personally enjoy).
and, remember, while a lot of office work is really uncomfortable and involves stuff like "talking in meetings" and "answering the phone," these things are not an inherent risk. discomfort is not tantamount to danger, and we all have to do uncomfortable things in order to thrive. there are a lot of ways to do this and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. not everyone can mask for extended periods, so be your own judge of what you can or can't do.
i like to think of work as a drag show where i perform this other personality in exchange for money. it is much easier to do this than to fight tooth and nail to be unmasked at work, which can be a risk to your livelihood and peace of mind. i don't think it's a good thing that we have to mask at work, but it's an important survival skill.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆ good luck ⋆。゚☾。⋆。 ゚☁︎ ゚。⋆
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kaoarika · 7 months
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I feel like I want so self-combust. I know the past five years (it's REALLy going to be FIVE years?) have been "meh" here in Tumblr. And every single big social media platform is going through this weird thing where they REALLY want to "get bigger and increase their profits" with throwing part of their userbases down the bus.
I am here questioning myself why sudden talks about Tumblr going down, until I saw it with my eyes that the support staff (which was already smaller, being a low priority to their owners) is going to get cut down much more to the point of "maybe being supported by a skeleton crew" until it naturally goes down. And then I felt like the thing staff shared months ago about their "new plans" for the website all suddenly made sense all along.
We all knew it, I guess. We all knew Tumblr wasn't a high priority website to their owners (especially after two atrocious sales) and maybe making changes for newer users is what would make it even more profitable. But this news seems like it's basically sealing it: cutting down much more to their support staff is probably because they do NOT know what to do with the website anymore. And, maybe the "expiration date" isn't as far as it was when the nsfw ban happened. That one day in December 2018.
The problem, again, is... every other big social media website is having their own issues as well. I know there have been efforts to replicate the experiences that Twitter or Tumblr had before all their own fucked-ups, but they are still in their infancies. Not all options are good, some are still in their invited-only beta states, and basically it sucks that all the options out there to move are bad, lmao (regarding to the tastes of each one, very subjective and all that).
Ahhh... what a bitter drink this all is.
Maybe I can install that one python Tumbr back-up thing I used years ago to back up my blog... and save everything I have posted in the past 5 years (as long as I still have access to my data from those... 8 years? in my work laptop... the one I haven't really turned on since last year because a/c charger and battery issues :////. Yay.)
I don't want to move to other social media sites anymore. I want to stay in peace in maybe one for another 10 years until I vanish or smth. I'm so freaking tired. And with all the fuckery in Twitter since last year, I don't know anymore.
(I don't want to sound pessimist, perhaps some miracle happens in the way. Maybe it's not the end yet. But it makes you think and I'm already tired of all of this. I always say that social media was a mistake. In the long term. Everywhere kinda sucks these days and the few attempts to make something new that may replicate the same experience I had since 2008 or 2010 are still in those early stages of development... some bad, some good)
Btw, this is that python thing I used for the tumblr back up thing I went with December 2018: tumblr-utils.
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bread--quest · 6 months
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It's 2012 somewhere. Welcome.... to Night Vale Tumblr.
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👁️ nvcr-official
Hi guys! I'm Intern Sarah! Excited to be joining you all!
👁️ nvcr-official
To the friends and family of Intern Sarah, she was a good intern and social media manager, and we are sorry to see her go. We will work to find a new intern as soon as possible.
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🦉 dark-owl-records
CALL OUT POST FOR CECIL PALMER
hes gotten away with shit for too long and im sick of it. tl;dr horrific intern mistreatment with no compensation, mountain denier, homophobic
keep reading
❌ number-one-moonhater Follow
Hey uh. Aren't you a company account? Why are you posting this
🦉 dark-owl-records
L + ratio + god forbid women do anything + your music taste is trash
🙈 seesomethingsaynothing Follow
Isn't Cecil literally gay?
🦉 dark-owl-records
he's homophobic
🪼 jeebyfish Follow
he has a husband...
🦉 dark-owl-records
yeah and he won't fucking shut up about it
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🤫 cecils-private-blog
Carlos hasn't liked any of my woodcarving posts in THREE DAYS!! I'm so scared what if he's going to break up with me :((
👁️ nvcr-official
Cecil he's your husband he's not breaking up with you. also this isn't a private blog you just put private in the url
🤫 cecils-private-blog
HOW DID YOU SEE THIS
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🏜️ sandeater Follow
tamika flynn spotted in ralph's dairy aisle "slaying" the milk
🦂 scorpiansscuttle Follow
op i know this is a joke but one time i was in the ralphs dairy aisle and there was some butter up on a really high shelf and someone said "don't worry, i'll get it" and i turned around and it was fucking tamika flynn
☁️ average-weather-enjoyer Follow
fake story :/
📚 isurvivedthesummerreadingprogram
No it's true I was there
🚂 traintonowhere Follow
TAMIKA FLYNN??
🏜️ sandeater Follow
what the fuck is happening on my post
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👁️ nvcr-official
can you guys please stop sending cecil weird shit... i don't want to have to explain to my boss what a dilf is
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🐚 mariella-shella
Hey guys!! Sorry for the lack of posts recently! I entered a hole in the wall and when I got out I realized I didn't know how long I'd been in there, or where I was, or who I am, and I'm not sure that I'm still the person who entered that hole however long ago. Anyway, the normal posting schedule will resume as soon as I remember what my normal posting schedule was, and if I'm still the person who had that posting schedule!
🌪️ sandstorm-gf Follow
omg mariella!!! missed u so much girl glad ur back!
🐚 mariella-shella
i miss me too
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😎 Anonymous asked: Response to the homophobic allegations?
🎙️ cecilpalmer
Huh??
🎙️ cecilpalmer
@nvcr-official What does this mean? Is it new slang?
👁️ nvcr-official
uhhhh dont worry about it buddy
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🧤 missy-mittens Follow
hey guys im in quarantine for eating wheat and wheat byproducts uh...send asks?? i might be in here for a while lmaooo
🧤 missy-mittens Follow
oh lights in the sky its been 5 years since i made this post
☁️ glowcloudapologist Follow
how's it going op
🧤 missy-mittens Follow
i miss my family
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🐚 mariella-shella Follow
hey if anyone remembers anything about the person running this blog can you tell me? trying to recover the fragments of my identity from the void of memory lol
🥔 potato-enthusiast Follow
you were really hot
🐚 mariella-shella Follow
FUCK YEAHHHHHH
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🦉 a-weird-bird Follow
just a reminder that new residents of east night vale are fully welcome to interact with this blog!!!! you will not be harassed and any hate will be blocked. this blog is safe even if this town isn't sometimes <3
🌻 sunflowergirl Follow
This is so sweet, thank you so much! Just so you know, even though it's officially called East Night Vale now, a lot of people still call it Desert Bluffs! Just thought you might want to know :)
🦉 a-weird-bird Follow
i'm not calling it that sorry
🌻 sunflowergirl Follow
What??? Why??
🦉 a-weird-bird Follow
just kind of sucks. as a name
🌻 sunflowergirl Follow
?????????
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🐄
⬜️ kentuckymeatshower_deactivated11051983
what does this mean....
🌌 cece-xeze Follow
another great post from huntokar herself
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🚁 helicopters-in-your-area Follow
🌲 little-miss-ectoplasm Follow
you don't like pine cliff? 👻 oo ooo?
👁️ nvcr-official
NIGHT VALE SWEEEEEP
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😁 the-happy-smiler Follow
Hi everyone!! Since Twitter went down, I figured I'd try my hand at this Tumblr thing! I'm so excited to meet all of you!! Hope you're ready for some pictures of CENTIPEDES!! Feel free to AMA about the Smiling God!
👁️ nvcr-official
I
🦉 dark-owl-records
N
🎙️ cecilpalmer
T
📚 isurvivedthesummerreadingprogram
E
🙈 seesomethingsaynothing Follow
R
🚂 traintonowhere Follow
L
🦉 a-weird-bird Follow
O
🌌 cece-xeze Follow
P
🐚 mariella-shella Follow
E
🚁 helicopters-in-your-area Follow
R
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alllgator-blood · 2 months
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I s2g if you add the layers of these comic pages together, it's over 350 layers. THIS is why I don't do full color for my comics lmaooo- ANYWAY EVERYONE HERE HAS AN AU APPARENTLY, SO THIS IS A BRIEF GLIMPSE INTO MINE. I don't know what to call it yet but I'm thinking of calling it "famous prophets" because 1. I like that car seat headrest song, 2. it's about shamura who is prophetic, 3. it's about trying to outrun fate with the Power of Love (and failing. Like the song!!!). It takes place when all the bishops were teens/kids during the age of hundreds of gods at war, and were trying to survive as a family.
I'm really excited to work on stuff for it but it's all gonna be drawn out of order. Maybe I'll write a full explanation of what it's gonna be about when I have a better idea...I want to channel my eldest sibling angst in a productive way, and maybe establish a QPP between shamura and a completely random npc everyone forgets about <3 also kallamar is trans too cause I said so. I'll do a comic about it eventually. Instead of an absence of gender he has TOO much gender. It simply cannot be contained.
I like that nonbinary genders are normalized in cult of the lamb to the point where nobody singles anyone out for being a they/them, it's not like "THIS IS MY SIBLING SHAMURA. THEY ARE NONBINARY AND USE THEY/THEM. ALRIGHT BACK TO KILLING YOU", it's just like "don't you fucking dare make my poor sibling wake up from their nap to kick your ass. Cause they deserve better than this."
But at the same time I like having the freedom to be more specific, and say "shamura is voidpunk and their gender is best described as the feeling that overtakes you during the first snow of the year, when everything outside is deathly quiet". This comic is actually derived from the time I was walking through a forest that's been torn down for a few years, and came out to my little sister as trans. I must've been like 13 or 14 and she didn't really get it as a 10 year old, but it was better than my mom FREAKING OUT about me coming out. So it was a nice little bonding moment between just the two of us. I don't have a good memory so I don't recall how it went unfortunately...
Now, the climate is a little different. My sis tried out transmasculinity for maybe 5-6 years before feeling happier as a woman, my mom is trying to be Based and flaunt her Woke trans children, and my dad remembered "oh yeah trans natives have existed before colonization. Maybe me being transphobic is a product of my culture being erased" and has gotten better about calling me the right thing. I have a mustache (thanks pcos!!) and wear skirts and am not a repressed "tomboy" teenager anymore. But I can't help but wonder what would've happened if I could've been like shamura and just...been nonbinary without people being fucking weird about it. Or been born as a badass war god who will tear you to shreds before you can perceive my birth sex. I know they're fictional but they are my ultimate gender envy GRRRRR BARK BARK BARK
Here is the secret image for this post- I listen to mostly EDM when I draw cause it keeps the energy up, but as I was finishing up shamura's poetry part, I was like THESE ARE JUST KMFDM LYRICS so I made this
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blazinghotfoggynights · 2 months
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Can Team Tuck and Team Buddie please agree that both can exist and serve as positive spaces for queer male representation?
I've been thinking. Let me run something by you.
Oliver says he has always felt Buck was a bi-coded character? Right?
Does that mean when TK thought Buck was hitting on him, he was?
If Buck was always bi, but just didn't know it, are we supposed to believe he never flirted with Eddie just because his first kiss was with Tommy?
Was Tommy his bi awakening or was Tommy the embodiment of the attractive traits he has seen in a man he's been falling for over five seasons?
You can like or even love multiple people. Even at the same time! 😮
Believing that Buddie is or should be the endgame does not negate or disrespect Buck's arc with Tommy in any way. I question if Tommy was just a convenient character. He's a safe guy to explore Buck's evolution with. He has a history with members of the 118, but he is not integral to the cast. If it doesn't work out, he is easily explained away. Remember Natalia?
I think it is possible to have a Buck and Tommy centered arc, focused on Buck becoming comfortable with his sexuality and exploring it in a healthy, positive way and still have Buck and Eddie eventually realize they have been each other's person for years. Having both doesn't make the other any less important. How many people have dated others when their eventual life partner was right there? They had no idea they saw that person in that way.
Now that we know Buck is bi, it could lead to different interpretations of scenes:
Buck is looking at Eddie. Tommy is not there and we don't know for sure who Eddie was speaking to.
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2. Look at that smile and his eyes at the end. Buck positively beams and bats his eyes when he realizes Eddie is going to look at him. That's how platonic friends look at each other?
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3. But we can take it all the way back if we have to. Look at Buck when Eddie compliments him.
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3b. Do you know what that reminds me of?
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4. If Buck has subconciously been into guys for a long time, then this scene takes on a whole new context.
Moving closer to the other man? Check.
Eye contact? Check?
Smile and shy head duck? Check.
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*I'd like to state that I have no doubt Edmundo Diaz knew Buck was into him. Look at the reaction.
5. When I'm into someone, you know what I don't talk about? Someone else.
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6. Wow. Look at how Buck looks at Tommy.
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6b. We have never seen that before have we?
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Buck x Tommy and Buck x Eddie can coexist in harmony. Life stories are long and have jumpscares, plot twists, plot holes, etc.
Buck being genuinely attracted to Tommy doesn't mean that all the scenes from the past five seasons that made us all side-eye Evan Buckley didn't happen.
If we never get Buddie, let's just take the win. ABC said, "There are queer men in the world who are masculine, hot, and relatively stable. Let's show that."
Do we really need to talk about how the LGBTQ community was represented on their former network? I could stand on that soapbox and go off for days. Let's just say I know others who also felt some way about it, whether they were straight, queer, or allies.
I am just going to enjoy what is shaping up to be an amazing season. Moving to ABC breathed new life into 911 and I am excited. (Season six? Can we just not talk about it?)
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smusherina · 1 month
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yard work - chapter 11 (regina george x reader)
fandom: Mean Girls (all media)
pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader
summary: You'd been in the same class as Regina George since kindergarten. You'd lived on the same street even longer. Once upon a time, when life was sandbox disputes and who got the swing first arguments, you'd even been friends. Now, in junior year of high school, you doubted she even remembered you. The same couldn't be said about you. You definitely remembered her.
chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6 / chapter 7 / chapter 8 / chapter 9 / chapter 10 / chapter 12
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Making the scrapbook was cathartic. Remembering the good times, the innocence of your childhood, was as much of a joy as it was painful. The pictures were all quite good quality since Abuela had had a film camera. Some photos had been taken with a digital camera, which had probably originally belonged to the Georges and ended up in your possession somewhere along the way.
Regina and yourself playing in the Georges' backyard and swimming in their pool, beaming smiles directed at the camera. You could almost hear the laughter. I miss when we used to be able to just have fun together like this. I guess it's a part of growing up.
Regina in a white frilly dress, carrying a small basket of flower petals, donning a crown of roses on her head. She was pouting, clearly unimpressed by the whole thing. You hadn't been at the wedding since it was a George event, but Regina's mom had been so elated her daughter had gotten to be the flower girl. I remember I was so jealous you got to go to a wedding and I couldn't. You hated it, though, which was funny. You used to leave the room whenever your mom insisted we watch the tape. I wonder if she still has it.
You sitting with Regina, hip to hip, on plastic chairs while a newlyborn Kylie slept in your laps. Regina, eyes stuck on her baby sister and a thoughtful look on her face, while you looked at the camera with a smile. She's growing up so fast. Don't think I don't know you care about her. There's gonna be a time you'll regret not spending time with her. I already feel it.
Mrs George, Abuela, Regina, Kylie in her mom's arms, and you grouped together at a parking lot. You and Regina had on little graduation gowns and had scrolls in your hands. Elementary school graduation. The summer before middle school. End of an era. I love your mom's clothes, they're so nineties. Does she still have those jeans? You should get ahold of them before somebody else does...
Remember when I sliced my hand open when we were peeling apples? That was a time for sure. I still have the scar!
You taped pictures onto the pages, wrote little things here and there, hoping the labour of your love wouldn't end up in the garbage. Or if it did, Regina would read skim through it first.
I think this album was the first time we agreed on music. Britney Spears really brought us together, huh? We even learned the choreography of Baby One More Time. Mrs George loved it. I bet there's a video of that somewhere.
Mostly the scrapbook was filled with anecdotes about your childhoods together. You did write a letter of sorts on the first page, regarding your intentions with the whole thing.
I made this for you to commemorate the good times we had. You know me regrettably well, so I think you know how I tend to hold onto things. I still have that gaudy pink Build-A-Bear you made me for Valentine's Day that one time. It's one of my most important possessions, only second to the memories we have together. You'll always be a friend to me, Reggie. If not forever, or from now on, then back then. I love you. Yours, Jorts.
You'd pretty much finished the whole thing by the end of the weekend. You spent Monday and Tuesday decorating the front cover, mostly because you purposefully put it off. You cut out letters from magazines and glued them there, painstakingly forming the words Reggie & Jorts. You'd tried to come up with something clever, but making a pun or a dumb joke felt like cheapening the whole album. A simple name made up for with fabulous decorations!
You weren't much of a painter, but you figured it'd be fitting if the album reflected its contents. It was fine if the roses you painted looked like a five-year-old did them. A good majority of the pictures featured you and Regina huddled around a crafts table, similar projects scattered all around you, young with clumsy hands but filled with artistic passion.
The album in itself was an earthy green colour, something Regina undoubtedly found ugly. The flowers brightened it up somewhat, but there was only so much ages-old acrylic paints could do. You outlined some with Sharpies. If you didn't know better, one could assume it looked like that on purpose.
You took it with you to school on Wednesday. You had it weighing your backpack down the whole day. You sweated under all your layers, and by the end of it, you were sure you were sporting some epic pit stains. Gross, but you were so nervous. You hadn't broken into anyone's locker in so long. And it was Regina George's locker.
You loitered around the hallways as they emptied out steadily, people heading home or off to extracurriculars. As you approached Regina's locker, you swallowed down your nervousness and got to work.
It wasn't hard. The combination locks were all old and weak, more of a formality than an actual barrier between one's stuff and a burglar. The lock clicked open easily and you wasted no time in stuffing your album inside.
"Hey!" Just as the resounding click of the lock going back into place came, a voice called out to you. "What are you doing with Regina's locker?"
"Uhh..." Gretchen Wieners stood at the intersection of hallways, hands on her hips and accusatory eyes burning holes in you. You made the swift decision that you did not have time for this. You booked it.
"Hey! Get back here!" Gretchen, surprisingly considering her heels, started after you. "What did you put in it? You cannot prank Regina, or- or, oh, was it a bomb?"
"It's not a bomb!" You shouted over your shoulder, sprinting towards the exit. The aggressive clacking of Gretchen's heels on the floors as she ran after you would surely haunt your nightmares. How could she even keep up with you?
"If it's not a bomb then what!" How was she closing in on you? It seemed like she was not even fazed by your little race, meanwhile, you were already winded. The exit was not that far away, but it felt like miles.
"It's Regina's business now! Ask her tomorrow at school or something!" The doors to freedom approached. "Stop chasing me!"
"Stop running!"
"No!"
You burst out and quickly hopped down the stairs, two at a time. Gretchen was still on your tail, but once she got to the top of the stairs shouted: "Karen! Tackle her!"
You hadn't even noticed Karen fucking Shetty. There was no not noticing her when the girl sprinted at you with perfect athletic form and squashed you like a linebacker.
You collided and flew into the snow. Better than the concrete of the footpath but it still hurt like a bitch.
"Get off of me!" You tried to get out from under her, but Karen was surprisingly dense. She was small but it was as if there were stones in her body instead of organs. "Fuck!"
"Keep her there, Karen, very good."
"Thanks!" Karen beamed, which was a much more common expression on her than the bloodlust she'd shown earlier.
"This has nothing to do with you." You snarled, still wriggling. "This is between Regina and me."
"Whatever's between Regina is between us," Gretchen said, all hoity-toity. "Now, tell me exactly what you put in her locker."
"A fucking photo album." You hissed, closing your eyes and clenching your jaw. What lie could you come up with? "Our families used to know each other. It's mostly pictures of her, so I just thought to... Return it."
"Oh, that's so nice!" Karen's hold loosened and you went to escape.
"Nuh-uh, not good enough." Just like that, Karen's weight slammed back down onto you. Your breath wooshed out of your lungs.
"What more do you want?" You wheezed out, getting sick and tired of this.
"Why was it in your possession?"
"I don't fucking know! It just was!"
"Hmm. And why couldn't you just give it to her?"
"You think that would've gone well, Gretchen? Seriously?" You turned your head with great effort, staring up at the girl. "Please, just let me go."
"I don't think I believe you." Gretchen squatted next to your head. "We're going back and checking it's what you say it is. And then you might be free to go."
"Fuck you." You hissed but made no move to book it when Karen hauled you up.
"That's not very nice." Karen pointed out.
"I don't want to be nice to Gretchen right now." You had no real issue with Karen, even if she had just tackled you.
"Oh, okay." You couldn't see her when she was holding your wrists behind your back, but you could imagine she was bobbing her head up and down like she was known to do.
You were walked back into the building, going mostly without a fight. Gretchen strutted along proudly as if capturing you was some great victory. Regina had trained her well. You weren't sure if that was impressive or just sad.
"Open it." Gretchen gestured once you were back at Regina's locker.
"I need my hands to do that." You helped out, smiling at Gretchen like she was stupid. Sputtering and offended, she instructed Karen to let go.
Instead of running like you should've, taking the chance you could get out if Karen didn't get a one-up on you, you obediently cracked the code again. Was it selfish that you kind of wanted others to know about you and Regina? Was it totally horrible of you to want to know it was real and have proof of that? Well, if it was, there was no helping it.
Gretchen snatched the album from the locker before you could even think to touch it. Karen sidled up to her, peering over her shoulder as she opened it.
You stood by, waiting for their judgement and looking at the ceiling. There'd been a water leak right there, based on the discolouration. Gross.
"You... You're J. J is for Jorts." Gretchen said. She sounded weird, like hollow or something. "J is for Jorts." She said again, breathy and disbelieving.
"What?" What the fuck was going on?
Karen spoke then. "She talks about J a lot. Like, a lot a lot. A whole lot." You nodded slowly as Karen went on. "J's like, her true love. It's so cute."
"J is not her true love, Karen! They are both girls." Gretchen pointed out. You had to agree. "Are they?" She looked you up and down judgementally.
"Yes. I am a girl." You said. It was true, you were female and around the age that it was acceptable to be referred to as a girl. Even so, it made you distinctly uncomfortable.
"Hmm." Gretchen didn't seem to believe you. Karen was busy cooing at the pictures of small Regina. It was sheer luck they hadn't bothered to read your writings.
"Look, can I go now? I know I'm busted, you're probably gonna confiscate the album, and Regina will never see it. Happy?"
"No. Karen, please put it back in the locker." Gretchen said, not taking her eyes off of you. Karen did as asked with a pout. "What is your relationship with Regina?" The album was back in the locker, but it hadn't been locked again.
"Nothing." And that was true. There was nothing there anymore.
"That's a lie and you know it. If you're J, then you've known each other at least since middle school. Based on the pictures, even longer."
"Who is J?" You asked in exasperation.
"Somebody who she has protected for years now. Somebody who is always better than we could ever be." Gretchen pointed between herself and Karen. "J is important to her."
"Okay, well, good for J, I guess."
"You're so infuriating." Gretchen sighed, pinching the skin between her eyes.
"You aren't the first to tell me that."
"Of course, because Regina has said that to you. Because you've known each other forever. Because you're J."
"Listen, I may look a bit butch, but I have a perfectly ordinary girl name."
"That is not the point!" She spoke fast and high-pitched. "You. It's you. You've been under our noses this entire time! Do you realize how much easier things could've been if you were around?"
"Excuse me?" Now, you were really lost.
"You're excused," Karen said cheerfully. You nodded to her in thanks.
"We could never be as good as you. It was like we were placeholders for the ultimate pretty girl she'd somehow let slip. And it's you. In a flannel and hoodie, ratty jeans, dirty shoes, no fashion sense to speak of. It's you." She said that last part with contempt.
You were reeling. Regina had talked about you to these two. Had compared them to you, cited that you were better. For years she'd done that. She'd never forgotten about you.
"Look, Gretchen, I'm sorry Regina's treated you badly." You'd lost the need to defend her, even still. Then again, even if you hadn't, there was little you could argue about with the two she'd tormented the most. "You can probably tell this is something Regina doesn't want coming out."
"What does that matter?" Gretchen asked, eyes far away and legs beginning to pace. "We could- could finally bring her down. Yes. We have J, we have everything she wants. She'll come grovelling."
You took a deep breath. You didn't feel angry, you were too tired to get angry at mean girls at this point. Besides, nobody could rile you up like Regina.
"You're wrong." You put it plainly. "What Regina's been doing to these people, to everyone around her, is wrong. But what I find despicable is how everybody is the same. I know her reasons, I can sympathise with her, but I can't say the same for you. So tell me." You paused to take a deep breath. "Why?"
"I'm not good at riddles, I'm sorry." Karen said, looking genuinely apologetic.
"It's okay, Karen, Gretchen can answer for you both."
"She deserves it." Gretchen said, steel in her tone.
"You sound just like Cady Heron and Janis 'Imi'ike. She hurt them too. What do you think ruining her life will achieve?"
"I'll be the new Regina George."
"Do you hear yourself? You still idolize her. If you're gonna be the new Regina George, it's always going to be a Regina George world. Don't you want to be Gretchen Wieners?"
"No!" She screeched. "Gretchen Wieners is lame, boring, too eager, a slut, desperate-" She took a deep breath.
"Okay." You said. "Why? Because Regina said so? Why would you believe her? She's just the same as you. Look," You pulled the album back out.
"Here we're in the Georges' pool. She would not go to the deep end. Y'know, she refused to even go in without those arm floaties for the longest time. Eventually, some boy made fun of her for them and that was the last time.
"And in this one we're driving back from summer camp. Regina was already tall enough to go without a booster seat, but I wasn't. She'd just thrown the biggest tantrum 'cause Mrs George didn't allow her to take off her seatbelt to sleep. She went out like a light, anyway.
"We're in Six Flags there. We'd just gotten those ice creams and you can see that Regina's isn't sticking to the cone all that well. Right after the shot, it just slid off. Regina was inconsolable. I offered her mine so we could share, and that seemed to be good enough for her but her dad was not having it. He threatened to take us home if she didn't stop crying right then, that it'd be all her fault that their whole family wasted money and time on this stupid trip. Eventually she calmed down and Mr George didn't have to drive us back."
You sighed. "I already tried this with Janis, in a way. I don't think Regina would appreciate me airing out her personal life like this, but... I don't know..." You closed your eyes for a moment. "I just want people to stop making things worse for her. She's been so wrong for so long, and I know I can't keep defending her, but I just don't think revenge will make her regret anything that she's done."
Karen hummed. "My auntie's been teaching me about karma. So, like, if she feels what she's made others feel, then won't that like... Fix her?"
"I don't want to hurt her." You said, resolute. "Maybe, it could be the most effective way to make her see her shortcomings. But I don't want to. I do not want to hurt her." You looked between the two. "And that's where we differ, I guess."
Gretchen didn't say anything, eyes glued to a picture from the Six Flags trip. Regina had mustard and ketchup smeared all over her face while she was holding a napkin to your lips, in the process of wiping your face.
With that, you snatched the album from her hands, deposited it back into the locker and slammed it shut. The lock clicked. Without a word, you began to talk towards the exit. Neither of them followed you or said anything to you.
You couldn't stop people from taking their revenge. You had done your best to be diplomatic. Evoking sympathy in hormonal teenagers wasn't something easily done, or maybe you were just shitty at it, but there was little else you could do. If you went ahead and retaliated, hurt them for hurting someone you cared about, the lines blurred.
You'd just be another mean girl.
Notes: Sorry for the delay! The next chapter will be the last one, unless I start rambling or something. After that, I'll do a less structured series of epilogues. Loosely related oneshots, that kinda vibe.
Also, my writing assistant stopped working in the middle of this, so if there's stupid typos I'll come fix them later.
I swear to fucking god if the taglist doesn't work I'll start breaking bones.
Taglist: @autorasexy, @wedfan2, @unadulterated-moron, @modernsapphicism , @9unknown0 , @sage-rose2000 , @massive-honkas , @nattys-swiftie , @likefirenrain , @luz-enjoyer , @dandelions4us , @natashamaximoff-69 , @alexkolax , @jareaul0ver , @here4theqts , @charleeeesworld , @natsbiggestfan1 , @brocoliisscared , @yellowwallflowers , @scarlettbitchx , @ayoungexwife , @cyberbonesworld , @syddie-reads , @screechcat , @theenglishswiftie , @gabby-duhh , @sweetmissnothing , @masterofpuppets-10 , @l1lass , @starved-mortal , @nothanksbye07 , @nenas19 , @jvuyii , @starry-night17 , @reneeswife24 , @glorioushamsterqueen , @krononan , @slug-on-bike , @rayisaknight , @chaseatlanticlover91 , @reginassweetheart , @mirage018
(this actually makes me angry. why. why doesnt it work. i type in the @ and then i type in the name and then it shows up in the lil' box and i click it but then it don't show up ;-;)
(this is cyber bullying. the cybers are bullying me.)
(anyway, if you want to be added to the taglist there is no gurantee if it'll work, but i'll add you if you want! just comment on this post :) if anybody has any ideas why it's like this, lmk!)
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reticent-writer · 4 months
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Hey! Well, actually, I really like the set of stories about Teen!Reader and Alostor where the reader is classified as an assistant, I would like a story that shows how they met and how they get to the point where they consider him an assistant and their confidence to say him dad? Thank you, I'm sorry if the request was very long. (Writing this I remembered the fight Alastor and Lucifer had over Charlie about who she calls Dad, I felt it would still be a good scenario for indignation)
An: I had a storyboard for this exact thing but its messy and if you don't know me you probably wouldn't understand how my mind works but basically i have ocs for this
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This took a bit longer because it happens before Alastor and reader dies plus I gave reader a family so...... some basic info
Y/n was born into a family that was picture perfect on the outside
father was a factory worker Mother was a dressmaker
Doll House by Melanie Martinez fits them perfectly
Y/n was the middle child of 5
When Y/n was born the eldest (Atticus boy) was 10, Second eldest 6 (Alma girl), Middle child (y/n)
when y/n turned 4 their parents had twins (Giles boy, Gideon boy)
This is a glimpse into my mind. It might not make sense.
✿✼:*゚:.。..。.:*・゚゚・**・゚゚・*:.。..。.:*゚:*:✼✿ 
-1920-
Y/n is 10.
Your parents were perfectionists, especially when it came to the public eye. The L/n family was always the center of attention in your little town, deep in Louisiana.
You and your siblings were constantly dressed in Sunday's best.
"Kids make yourselves look presentable. A client is coming soon." Your mother called out from her 'workspace'. kids aren't allowed in there.
"Can't we just stay in our rooms." Atticus complained from his spot on the couch.
"Get. Dressed."
Atticus groaned as he got up to go to his room. On his way, he knocked on your door before opening it.
"You're supposed to wait for a response, Jackass."
"Next time you curse at me I'm poppin' you." He threatened but you knew he wouldn't do anything, "Mom said get dressed, tell Alma."
He closed the door before you could complain. You heard the shuffling of his feet as he ran to his room.
His room was at the end of the hall. the hall was short with 2 doors on each side. Alma was across from you and the twins were next to her.
Right across from your room is Alma's. She's going into her preteen years and started to spend more time in her room. Your mother says she's adjusting to becoming a woman and needs her time alone. She's also becoming very snappy.
You slowly opened your door to stare at hers. You slowly walk into the hallway and up to her door. You knock three time and wait for a responce. She didn't open the door.
"I heard Atticus." Her voice was horse and strained but you believed what your mother told you.
That was all you needed to get yourself ready.
-------
Your mother made all (except for Alma) of you sit in the living room and wait for the client.
*knock knock knock*
"He's here. You better behave." She says before opening the door with a smile only guests see, "Alastor, It's so good to see you again."
"Good to see you to, my dear and my my look at the children. They all seem to be in good health." He greeted all of you with a smile.
"Hello sir." Atticus spoke for all of you.
"You seem to be missing one." Alastor commented, making your mother chuckle.
"She's been feeling under the weather as of late, come along I need to take your measurements. Atticus, Y/n prepare some tea." She ordered.
Alastor and your mother went to her workspace and she shut the door.
----------
That night went smoothly until your father got home. He didn't like the fact that your mother was in her workspace with a man and the door closed, even if he was a client.
It caused fighting -well more than there normally is anyway- between your mother and father. It's always been easy to make your father mad.
It got worse when Alastor took notice of it he came by more often with the excuse of having gifts for you and your siblings.
He gave you a radio to listen to him when he went on air. Atticus was offered a job at the radio station. Alma got a set of jewelry.
This angered your father more and instead of taking it out on Alastor or your mother he took it out on you and your siblings. Atticus tried to protect all of you.
One day your father and Atticus got into a really bad fight and your brother was shot. He didn't make it.
It was around the same time when a horrid smell started coming from Alma's room. Your parents said she caught a fever and no one noticed but you didn't believe them anymore.
From then on you started distancing yourself from your family and growing closer to Alastor.
--------
When you got older (16) you started working with alastor at the radio station. He taught you how to live life without worry.
He treats you like your a person and not just your parent's child.
Your parents treated you like a decoration. Alastor treated you like a child he didn't know he wanted.
You found out he was a murder by accident. You forgot someone at the station late at night and went back to get it to see blood spattered in the talking booth.
At first you thought it was Alastors so you took a gun that the station had in case of emergencies and followed the trail.
Opening the back door you saw Alastor dragging the body. The two of you made eye contact. Your body moved without hesitation and helped him hide the body.
------
Sadly, there are times a birth parent is a dud.
✿✼:*゚:.。..。.:*・゚゚・**・゚゚・*:.。..。.:*゚:*:✼✿ 
This is long and not what I usually write but it's been stuck in my head for a while.
A/n: I've decided to cut the twins and make y/n the youngest. I had something for them originally but it's better for just Alma, Atticus and Y/n
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Art by @ghostly-one
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iimr3 · 7 days
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reasons why (in my opinion) the try guys hit the nail on the head with forming a subscription service where watcher fumbled:
try guys has already been making TV-caliber content for a while. without a recipe and phoning it in both feel like professional cooking shows, and the fact that they have actual celebrity guests adds to that. their audience is extremely familiar with them having this huge set and a ton of employees working to produce the videos they love. on top of that, they've been around longer. they mention at the beginning of the announcement they've been on YouTube for ten years, & dropout/CH similarly had been around for a while when it's streaming service dropped. try guys just always felt more professional & as a fan you immediately understand why they would need more money
(edit) also, they have formed an emotional connection between the audience and their employees! people love rachel & know how hard she works & want to see her get paid well for that work. not that the watcher team don't deserve that, but their audience is way less emotionally invested in their employees' wellbeings than with the try guys audience & their non-talent team (& I say this as a fan & regular viewer of both channels).
try guys already had experience with paid content that went over really well with their audience. their live shows proved that their audience was willing to pay a decent amount every once in a while for something cool, and they proved that they would actually provide something cool for that money. people pointed out how watcher neglected their patreon; the try guys made very good use of their live shows imo. and as a result, they are able to say "you'll get free tickets to the live shows!" which is a really good perk if you are someone who enjoys those. instead of paying $20 every once in a while for one live show, you can pay 5$ for free live shows and early content and exclusive new content.
plus, they also reveal their expanded cast, which is something all of their fans have been wondering about for over a year. it's not just keith and zach you get to see, but all of these people their audience now loves and is always talking about wanting to join the try guys officially. collectively the try guys announcement feels more positive in multiple senses, both in emotional vibe and in what the audience is getting out of this.
also: no one can say for certain whether or not they decided to keep posting on YT after the watcher debacle, but I'm gonna give them the benefit of the doubt & believe that they always intended to stay on YouTube. it makes sense as a business decision & it's clear they've been working on this for some time (despite what some people seem to think??). tbh I don't think they were trying to be cruel to watcher in their announcement, I think they just saw that shitstorm and understood they needed to make it clear to their audience that they are not making the same mistakes. EDIT: in the most recent trypod, zach confirmed that they have been planning to 1) create a streaming service 2) keep posting content free on YouTube since 2023. so, no, they did not create 2nd Try or decide to stay on YouTube because of Watcher. stop trying to manufacture drama.
also also: they have, especially in the trypod, been very candid about their struggles with the algorithm and appealing to youtube's demands for content. in one episode I remember them talking about how they wanted to reject the "constant expansion" mindset, placing more focus on what their existing audience wants rather than trying to constantly get new people. they have been open about how certain things they want to do are not viable because of monetization issues; smoke show is a recent example of this.
another edit: also in the recent episode of the trypod, Zach says that they reached out to Sam Reich of Dropout for tips on starting a streaming service & things to avoid. we have no way of telling if Watcher did this, but I wouldn't be surprised if that was also key in why they turned out differently.
tl;dr i think it comes down to what was presented (not leaving youtube, new content that wouldn't be allowed on youtube, free live shows, new cast), how it was presented (shorter video, focus on the excitement & positives, show of respect to those who can't afford the price), and the context surrounding it (being older, a reputation for more professional content, having prepared their audience for a big shift, having previously discussed issues with youtube and their content)
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hemmingsleclerc · 5 months
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New Year's Day ┃Timothée Chalamet
summary: where timothee spends new year's day with his girlfriend's family and he may not understand their traditions but he still enjoys the night
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''5..4..3..2..1 and!''
''Happy New Year!''
As soon as I heard the first fireworks in the sky I started eating the 12 grapes I had in my glass.All my other relatives at the table began to do the same, from the oldest to my little cousins. At some point I felt like I was about to choke and lose consciousness, but I wasn't willing to let any of my wishes come true.
I looked to my side and saw Timmy eating his third grape. He chewed calmly, enjoying the sweet taste of the fruit and at times I saw how he stifled a laugh when he saw me so desperate. I nudged him lightly with my elbow and motioned for him to hurry up.
''What?'', he asked, showing confusion on his face.
I had to swallow what was in my mouth to be able to answer him.
''You have to eat them quickly Timmy, if you continue like this it won't work and your wishes won't come true!'', I said
''I don't think I have any idea what I was supposed to be wishing for, anyways, why do it so quickly?''
''For more excitement''
When I finished the last grape, I thought about it a little, I didn't really remember what I had wished for but I was sure that among my 12 wishes was happiness, health and love. Everything happened so fast that I barely had time to think about other things to ask for. My brother and cousins had also finished their grapes and ran to the door where there were some suitcases and ran out. Timothée, still in his place at the table, watched everything with a mixture of curiosity and confusion as he continued eating.
''I thought they would spend the night here! Where did they go?''
''They will be back soon, don't worry, the block is not that big, they just went out for a little run'' I said
''¿What?¿For what?''
''To travel, silly!'' I exclaimed excitedly ''You have to run around the block with a suitcase, it is said that it is to attract luck to be able to travel a lot during the year''
Timothée stood there in silence as he slowly began to make a surprised face processing everything his girlfriend had said. He watched everything attentively and with a sparkle in his eyes, excited to be able to participate in the ''curious'' traditions.
This year, I thought it would be a great idea for Timothée to spend the New Year with my family since we had spent the previous year with his family, and I also thought it would be fun for him to know the rituals we did every year on New Year's Eve.
''That doesn't make sense at all''
''I know! It doesn't have to!''
When my cousins arrived I went to chat with them a little about how the race had been. Meanwhile Timmy started talking to my father when I saw my uncles carrying ''the old''.
''Oh my god Timmy you're going to love this'' I took him by the hand and ran to where my whole family was gathered.
Before it started I went to get a pencil and paper for both of us while Timothée returned to get his drink.
''Ready? you have to write down everything bad about the year'' I told him while I took a drink from his glass
''For what? What will you do with that?'' he asked while looking for a place to lean on and write, but since there wasn't one nearby, he stood behind me and leaned on my back while holding his glass in his mouth.
''Do you see that doll that is there?'' I pointed ''It is supposed to represent the old year, it is made of different things like cardboard, and it is set on fire but first we put all the papers with everything bad that happend through the year so that it doesn't repeat''
''They set it on fire? Is that safe?''
It's probably not the safest thing but I may not tell him that.
''Relax Timmy, we do this every year, did you finish writing?''
He nodded and handed me the paper, I folded it along with mine and put it between the doll before my uncle set it on fire. I returned to Timmy and stood in front of him while he hugged me and rested his head on mine.
''Did you had fun babe?''
''I have to admit it was a little strange but it was a lot of fun, we should do some of these things next year together with my family, I bet it would be fun to run down the street with suitcases with Pauline.''
I nodded as I turned to kiss him, I was sure that next year would be just as fun as this one.
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mtkay13 · 1 month
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My version of the wardrobe template! yay!! I had a LOT of fun doing this and feel like I could elaborate a bit more on each of those.
It's already linked up here, but here's once again a > link to the post.< Anyway! More about these designs below!
So first, for WKX's template! - Chapter 2: Grey robes I had already made my design of those for the full TYK lineup I made a while back. I really, really like those, and took inspiration from some of the robes SHL!WKX wears in the show for the shapes. - Chapter 69: dark robes with dark red belt I expected to like that style for him, but not that much! I had seen a tutorial on how asymetrical hanfus were worn by archers in the past and that inspired me, purely on a fashion level of course. I like how intimidating he looks with those and enjoy the touches of blue in the inner layer of the robes. - Chapter 75: dark red robes The GVM robes! which I also designed a while back when researching for the illustrations of the Mt Fengya battle scenes that I wanted to make. I reworked them just a little bit and got rid of some details that I didn't like anymore. I tremendously pleated skirts for WKX so I went at it once again. I also used shifts in hues to make it look like it could have been drenched in blood. - Extra 5: deep red robes For the reminder (since apparently some people are not aware of extra 5's existance), this extra is set 5 years post-canon. I wanted WKX to wear something that looked comfortable for traveling but also practical and fashionable. The teal jacket is of course another nod at SHL since the red and teal combo was an absolute banger. Let's say I didn't want WKX to just sport an all-red look. Furthermore, the teal really works to adorn the red hues. - My personal favourite I actually don't really know whether those are my actual personal favourites, but I've come to LOVE WKX dressed in red and white thanks to @kwehxing's designs. I think it really suits him and on top of that it avoids the question "is this Hua Cheng" LMAO--okay jokes aside, I combined most of the shapes that I really like for WKX (wider shoulders, wide sleeves, and long robes with pleated inner robes) and I find him very elegant like this. Now, for ZZS! - Chapter 1: sapphire blue scholar robes Those had already been designed before as well! They're my go to generic TC!ZZS robes, haha. I was a bit extra with the blue colour here, but oh well. I'm quite obsessed with the silver brocade cynching his waist, haha. - Chapter 2: stolen farmer robes A classic as well as far as I'm concerned--of course, inspired by his hobo fit in SHL because it was quite efficient. I'm forever fond of my scruffy hobo!Xu and his toes poking from his sandals. - Chapter 18: luxurious robes from the Gao family Those were a new design! Which I had a lot of fun coming up with. Putting ZZS in a different colour scheme was also really nice. For those who don't remember, ZZS feels quite ridiculous when he sees himself in a mirror wearing those fancy robes while being so emaciated and still sporting his hobo mask. I wanted to give this "out of place" feeling; and also work on a very "wuxia" style for the robes, since this is jianghu and they were provided by Gao Chong. - Extra 5: black robes I'm incredibly fond of this design. I worked quite a bit on it, since I wasn't sure of where I wanted to go. My main guidelines were: practical and cool. I really like ZZS having a lot of room to move so ideally not too much fabric in the way, and I think he also needs arm braces to be rid of annoying sleeves. Of course, him looking much healthier and having a dynamic ponytail really works to "complete the look", and I find that he looks really cool there haha. - My personal favourite This one has been refined over the months, but it's definitely, overall, my favourite look for him in terms of shapes and construction. I like that the robes are short, I like the more fashionable jacket. I'm especially into the "pants tucked into the boots" silhouette, as well as the little ribbons keeping them tight around the ankles. I'd say that this leg shape + short robes + a bun (or sometimes a ponytail) is THE ZZS design combo for me, haha. It looks practical and fun and adventurous, just how I like it.
To conclude the whole post, I had more fun doing this than I even expected, and needless to say that I'm very excited to see other versions of them following this template. It was a good opportunity to try and project what the characters look like throughout the book, and a fun design exercise as well. I actually don't really like doing character design usually, but for characters I'm obsessed with, it's of course a much nicer experience. Anyway, thank you for reading!
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WIBTA if I tried to covertly exclude one of my friends from game nights ? 🎮🎧📞
tw: disordered eating, self harm
I've got a discord friend group of about 15 people though only 10 or so are regularly active and game nights often are usually around 6 people but they rotate who participates often. We're all in the 20s and mostly nonbinary / genderqueer / trans one way or another. I'm 25 ftm personally (they them) and the friend this is about in particular is 22mtf (she/they).
Friend is really excited to hit the 1 year marker in her transition and loves sharing how excited she is about her progress - how strangers at her job are gendering her correctly more and more often, how her cup sizes are growing, how much weight she's lost, wardrobe updates, getting to learn girl things from their very supportive mom, etc etc etc. It's all very exciting, I remember hitting my 1 year marker and i'm genuinely really happy for her.
The thing is I struggled with disordered eating in the past. Several others in our friend group have as well and it's something we've talked about both in related and unrelated convos to this issue. Friend keeps an excel spreadsheet with her measurements from bust to hips to weight and will update us frequently whether we've expressed interest in hearing the exact numbers or not. Exact Numbers was one of the things I kept track of and hearing her tracking them (for very different reasons) will often set me off and i'll start taking more and more unhealthy actions, falling back into disordered habits.
Friend has adhd and very poor impulse control. She often joins conversations and talks over people, completely changes conversational topics on a dime, or forgets who is in a call at any moment and brings up someone's triggers. She'll almost always apologize if someone mentions a social mistake she's made, but because the weight/food intake/number watching is so important to them as a way to track their transition it's the one thing that keeps coming back and back and back. I and the others have tried talking in voice calls, mentioning in text chats in the group and even DMing her but because of the topic and this group being the friend group she feels safest in (we were all the first to know and hyped them up on the hrt journey) these are some convos she only gets to have here
and because of the topic, i feel rude or embarrassed when I have to say "hey can we not talk about this right now or i'm gonna have to leave". So on most nights if it comes up I'll just deafen / go afk / just zone out entirely until the conversation has passed. If it doesn't seem like it's going to or they are so in depth that it's genuinely triggering a self harm response i'll fully leave instead so she can keep having her fun and get excited
Game nights are different though
I'm usually the host of game night and so can pick when we play our silly little games. Obviously people can and do still hangout and do things together Not on specific game nights, and we all do, but game nights are my thing. We play party games over discord or multiplayer competition games or lately have been getting into games like content warning and lethal company when there's 4 or sometimes 5 of us (either someone wants to hang out but only watch or we rotate around who plays round by round)
Friend is often working in the evenings and so bc this is an online friend group they don't actually know my work schedule. We usually only have about half the total number of participants be around for game night anyways, so I've been thinking of occasionally lining up game nights for nights when she's mentioned being busy by saying i work the other nights - but only sometimes. I do really like friend. She can be so much fun to hang out with, excitingly competitive and with interesting knowledge to share and generally a good sport no matter the actual game we're playing. But sometimes the worry about the triggering and the trigginering itself are too much. sometimes i just can't handle when she does it and knowing i can't leave and asking her to stop expressing her joy makes me feel like an asshole anyways so i don't want to be around it.
To be clear. I do not think they are an asshole. Friend is genuinely one of my friends. I like her and hanging out with her. they do not trigger me (or any of the others w this same trigger) maliciously. this is solely would I be the asshole.
TLDR: My friends way of tracking her transition sometimes triggers my eating disorder. would I be the asshole for planning game nights that I host and cannot leave / tune out conversations during so that she cannot attend as often in hopes that I am not triggered as often?
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saltpepperbeard · 5 months
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Call It Through as a Crew: Alleviating Some Phone Anxiety
Hello everyone! So as you probably already know, there has been a recent call to make, well, calls! Another member of our crew figured out that the max customer service line (855-442-6629) is a very effective way to get our feedback heard, as the feedback gets transcribed and shared to a multitude of teams.
I already sort of briefly shared my experience on this post, but I wanted to go a bit more in detail to offer some solace for those who are also phone averse, as well as share resources and get the word out even more.
And y'all, when I say I'm phone averse, I mean PHONE AVERSE LMAO; MY FEET WERE SWEATING JSDKLS LIKE I WAS FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE. So I totally, TOTALLY get it, and am here to walk you through everything in detail!
So I called that number and was on a brief hold--probably like 5 minutes or so. The customer service representative (Margot my bestie Margot) then picked up, and asked for the email associated with my account as well as my full name.
I was extremely extremely worried and anxious about being bothersome/annoying the person on the other end and just being able to feel it in their tone, so I was shivering and sweating all the while. But then when she asked for my reason for calling, I said, "Oh, it's actually in regard to some feedback," and she went, "Is it for Our Flag Means Death?"
And we both laughed, and I was like, "Haha how did you knooooowww?" And she laughed some more and was like, "Let me tell you, I have never seen anything like this in all my years working here. We are getting so many calls. It's incredible."
And by that point, a large weight was off my chest because she was friendly, I was friendly, EVERYONE WAS FRIENDLY.
I laughed and told her that we were a very passionate and concerned bunch, and she told me that she thought that was so cool and also super important. She then allowed me to tell her my feedback, and she transcribed it as I talked. This was the little script I had prepared in case you'd like to reference it:
I just wanted to call and express my disappointment, dissatisfaction, and concern with the recent cancellation of Our Flag Means Death on Max. As a queer person myself, this show has a tremendous impact on me. And in a climate where so many diverse and LGBT-centric shows have unjust ends, I’d just like to express my wish for reconsideration, and just the hope that…Max will allow LGBT stories like ours to live and flourish. And I’m really worried about there being some kind of…homophobic angle to the cancellation, so it would mean the world to myself and so many others if the decision could be reversed, and we could get our third and final season.
I went a little graver than originally planned, because I saw talks that taking a DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) angle, as well a "hey I'm a queer person and this feels like a decision made for a nefarious purpose" angle, are supposedly more likely to be noted.
Anyway, she allowed me to say my piece and wrote it all down, and then actually stayed with me on the line to chat a bit more. So, the phone call didn't feel rushed or anxious which was SO so huge to me; it felt far more conversational.
She was like, "I don't want to toot our little horn or anything, but Max really takes all this feedback into consideration. It will be passed to the properties team (or something equivalent, I can't remember the EXACT term she used), and they're in charge of what goes on Max and why. So, I really feel like you guys have a fighting chance with these efforts."
And of course I was thanking her profusely for telling me all of this, and for listening; polite menace, that will be my brand!
But man, the coolest part of all? She told me that she was POC, and a queer person herself, and that this was all so cool and so amazing to see. She applauded our efforts, and expressed interested in the show. I laughed and said, "Well uhhhh I might have a BIT of a bias, but I cannot recommend it enough."
And then she proceeded to tell me that it might be even MORE effective to hit from different angles. So, keep calling (they're available 24/7), and also keep utilizing the online feedback form. Basically just keep FLOODING them with how much this means to us and why.
I then expressed a lot of gratitude, we exchanged pleasantries, and there was a brief survey at the end. I don't think the survey is necessary, so you can probably hang up by this point, but I stuck around for a little more horsepower. It tells you to rate the customer service on a scale of 1-5 with 5 being the highest, and you know I gave my bestie a fivvvveee. It also tells you to press 1/2 if your issue was resolved or not. I said HELL TO THE NO, DUDE SJDKLS. And THEN, it asks you to leave a voice message after the tone describing your experience. I said that I was with the customer service representative Margot, and that she was extremely friendly and helpful, but that the issue at hand will not be resolved until Max reserves their decision about the recent cancellation of Our Flag Means Death (I'm also always saying the show title in full as opposed to just the acronym, just for more OOMPH).
...And thennnn I proceed to shake it/shriek it all off LMAO.
Buuuut yeah! Probably took a total of 10 minutes or so. @xoxoemynn also shared with me that she's seen people say that these customer service representatives likely deal with older folks who need help with technology, and are subsequently stunned (and maybe even excited) to talk to younger people who just want to voice concerns instead of chew the poor customer service people out lol! And Margot also mentioned that they were eager to take calls no matter what, so as long as we're all polite and succinct, I don't think we'll have to worry about a very tense and awkward call.
I hope this alleviates some fear a bit! We got this, crew. We're doing so, so much. And it seems like it's being heard all over the place; it also seems like we've got so many people on our side, too. Big big hugs, and I'll share the necessary resources once more-
Customer Service Number: (855) 442-6629
The Online Feedback Form:
The original tumblr post with all the information:
The tumblr post where Fox and others were sharing even more information:
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miley1442111 · 2 months
Text
I don't even know you anymore- s.reid
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a/n: this is kind of short so sorry, also it is deeply sad because i clearly love hurting my own feelings :( intended for fem or male reader, so imagine what you like:)))))))))
summary: you anniversary should be a night between you and spencer, right?
pairing: spencer reid x reader
warnings: general angst, cheating and breaking up
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It was a cold night. You were supposed to see a show but as usual, ‘something came up’. You had been working with Dr. Spencer Walter Reid for 4 years, 5 months and 3 days. You had been dating Dr. Spencer Walter Reid for 3 years, and 4 hours. It was your anniversary. You walked up the stairs to your shared apartment, ready for a night of feeling sorry for yourself and eating a sad, lonely dinner. You had sent your tickets to see ‘The Mousetrap’ to Jj, she said Will and her would go instead since Spencer had ‘something to do’. You couldn’t help but feel dejected and unimportant. Why wouldn’t he tell you what he’s doing? Why didn’t he call you back? You tried to push those thoughts out of your head as you turned the key to your apartment and walked inside. Inside,you saw Spencer and you saw Jj. Jj and Spencer were kissing. Your boyfriend was kissing someone else. Your boyfriend was kissing the woman he had a crush on for years. 
Fuck.
“Am I interrupting something?” You said, bitterness punctuating every word. You dropped the groceries on the counter as they pulled apart, Jj looking nervous and Spencer looking… upset? Is that the right way to put it? Like a child that broke something after being told not to touch it. 
“It’s not what it looks like-” Jj started. 
“Yes, yes it is. You two were kissing, and I really don’t fucking care who kissed who, I just want you to get out of my house.”
Jj starts to gather her things and Spencer stands there, looking down. 
“That includes you Spencer,” You smiled sourly as he looked up and stared at you. “Maybe you two can catch a show? I already sent you the tickets for tonight. Have fun!” 
“Please-” Spencer started, tears in his eyes. 
“No. You made your fucking bed, lay in it.” He went to touch your arm, “Don’t touch me,” You spat out, he retracted his hand.
“Just, let him explain it, please,” Jj pleaded as she left your apartment. 
You walked back to the kitchen and started putting the groceries away. “So that was what you were busy doing? Didn’t realise you thought so little of me.” 
He touched your arm to stop your movements and you stared at him. He’s crying, like you’re the one who’s hurt him. “Please,” He begged. “Just listen to me.”
You scoffed but nodded, allowing him to continue. 
“She texted me saying she was in trouble… so I went to find her. She said she’d been mugged outside the club like a block away, so I went to find her. I know now that she hadn’t been but she just asked to come back here, and ‘calm down’ so I let her. We came inside, then she started saying all this weird stuff about how me and her were ‘meant to be’ or something. I shut her down immediately and she just kissed me and then…” 
“But you didn’t stop her from kissing you,” You sighed, allowing the hurt he’s caused to be shown. 
“What? She had just kissed me-”
“Spencer I’m not stupid, your hair is ruffled, so is your shirt, and you have her lipstick on your lips. Don’t try to lie to me about this. I’m a profiler, remember?”
He looked down, ashamed. Then he wiped his lips. “I’m sorry.”
“I am too.” 
He looked up, alarmed, his hands holding your waist in place so you couldn’t move. “What?”
“Spencer, I don’t trust you. I can’t. I don’t know who you are anymore.”
His face broke, a tear falling down his cheek. “Please, I’m begging you, I love you.”
“Spencer, get your hands off me,” You sighed. “Just let me go.”
“Please. I’m begging you-”
“Spencer! Enough, just stop!” You pushed his hands off of you. “Have you not done enough?!” 
“Please-” You moved past him and went to your bedroom, locking the door behind you. You lay in bed, thinking about how you’ll deal with this. You didn’t want to break up with Spencer. But you just couldn’t trust him anymore.
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nouvxllev · 5 months
Text
the girl across your street || pt4
Pairing: Jenna Ortega x Fem!Reader
Summary: You imagine telling Jenna it was her that made you pursue your dreams in becoming a director. Yet, you imagine telling her you carried your love for her as if it were a burden. You made her your temple, your mural, your sky, now you weren't so sure who she was to you anymore. It was the day she came back, your soul could never be more disoriented.
Words: 3.3k
Warnings: slight angst, swearing, and probably (?) the longest chapter.
a/n: sneaked a taylor swift lyric in there
part 5 || masterlist
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You feel nothing.
You feel like crying. 
You feel like shouting at her.
You feel you like want to tell her how much you went through because of her.
Yet, you feel nothing more than to kiss her.
You imagine telling Jenna it was her that made you pursue your dreams in becoming a director. Yet, you imagine telling her you carried your love for her as if it were a burden. You made her your temple, your mural, your sky, now you weren't so sure who she was to you anymore. It was the day she came back, your soul could never be more disoriented.
You turned your heel, heading the way to who knows where. You just wanted to fill the consuming void of your heart with something, anything.
"Y/n! Y/n, wait, please!" Jenna's voice reached you, seeping into your heart. Yet, you blocked it out as if it were the last thing you desired, even if a part of you yearned to hear that symphony one last time.
You wanted to talk to her, you really do, but the years of pent-up anger made you hesitant. You fear you'll eventually mutter something you'll eventually regret.
"Y/n, can we talk please!? "Jenna's calls persisted, her voice trembling, and her footsteps growing louder with each plea. The ringing in your ears seemed relentless ever since she said your name.
For a moment, you stop, and for a moment, your world flickered.
"I'm surprised you even remembered my name." You turned to her, almost seeing her eyes flinch at your words.
Jenna straightened, and you couldn't help but notice the changes in her over the years. Yet, that familiar glint in her eyes remained unchanged. You don't know much about yours. "I never forgot you, Y/n."
"But you made me feel like I was."
"I didn't mean to. I—"
"What do you mean you didn't mean to, Jenna? You never told me you were moving away. You never shared anything. No texts, no calls, not even a note under my door saying you were leaving. Nothing," you began, your voice tapering off into a shaky breath, cracks surfacing.
"You called me special, one of the few you let inside your heart. Then you just went and left without a word." Tears streamed down your face as Jenna remained silent. Her lack of response told you everything. Maybe she did intend to leave, you thought, maybe she never cared about you in the first place.
"Don't you understand how much that killed me?"
Jenna's mouth opened and closed, as if she wanted to say something but couldn't find the right words. You wanted her to say something, really anything, anything if it meant being given an explanation.
"I'm— I'm sorry, Y/n. I thought you wouldn't really care, I— I'm really sorry."
"Wouldn't care? Jenna, I fucking loved you."
Her eyes widened, and yours did the same. Complete silence hung heavy in the air as you try to get a word in, play it off as if you didn't mean it.
"You loved me?"
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
A voice in your head told you were too deep to crawl out, submerged in your own emotions and turmoil to even see the sunlight.
"I hate how it's impossible to hate you, Jenna. Even after all those years, I still love you so much," you confessed, tears welling in your eyes, regret consuming the moment. "I can't even pretend that I hate you."
"Y/n, I also—"
"I have to go, Jenna. Forget this ever happened."
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It had been months working with Jenna, and it's been months since the both of you last talked. In that time, you swore on yourself to keep everything beneath you, and the relationship you have with Jenna is only for professional matters. It hurt you deep inside, as much it pains you to admit it, but you wished you never told her you loved her.
Emma decided to take on guiding Jenna whenever she encountered a problem, which, she never really did. She was a skilled actress, you always knew that from the bottom of your heart, and seeing her act was like something out of a fantasy. You also sometimes helped her, but you always kept it brief for God knows what. You'd always think that you'll someday break out into tears yet again.
You stared at Jenna from afar at your own seat, seated at the corner where one could assume that you're busy with your own things. You had your headphones own, funny how you had them instead of Jenna, listening to the songs that Jenna once recommended for you. To maybe just feel a little something beyond sadness.
'…I've been broken-hearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, now I really know
My-my I could never let you go…'
It's ironic how this is the song she recommended a while back. Maybe this was her way of telling you she was going away, who knows?
Somebody tapped on your headphones, and before you looked up, you already knew who it was.
"You alright, y/n?" Emma asked, sitting down in front of you with a bottle of wine. Emma was always the one who was there for you at your lowest, she can almost sense whenever you are.
She poured it into your glass, and you drank without a single breath wasted. You continue to pour more until Emma stopped your arm.
"Okaaaay, I think that was the signal that you aren't fine."
"I’m…" Your gaze shifted to Jenna, a smile covering her entire face as she tries to drink a whole bottle of scotch dared by her co-stars. You could almost laugh at it if you weren’t drinking until your vision turns black. "I'm fine, Emma, don't worry."
Emma eyed you, concern etched on her face. "You've been drinking your sorrows away, y/n. And I'm not talking about the good kind of drinking your sorrows away. It's the type where you're attempting to kill yourself." She attempted to lighten the mood with a smile, but your attention remained fixed on Jenna.
Emma followed your gaze and then turned back to you. "You guys should talk."
Your eyes shot to her, "What do you mean?"
"You and Jenna. You think I haven’t seen you guys looking at each other from afar?" Her mouth curved into a smirk, taking her own glass and a sip of it.
You glanced back at your playlist, the cover being Jenna herself. "I don’t want to talk to her, Emma. I mean, what would I even say?"
"I don't know, y/n. Give her a chance to talk to you. You never really did since the last time you guys talked."
"How'd you know?" Regret flooded in as you realized you let your anger get the best of you that time. You were always the one to calm down before exploding, what happened to you?
"Jenna miiight've told me." Emma noticed your furrowed eyebrows and the slight of regret in your eyes. "Don't be mad at her, y/n. She doesn't really have anyone to talk to about you."
"I… I'm not mad. Just wished she talked to me." Fiddling with your phone, your voice faltered to a whisper.
Emma sighed, it's like she was talking to a toddler at this point. "She couldn't when you built walls over her, y/n. Every time she talks to you, you dismiss her."
"I'm—"
"You're too afraid to let her into your heart one last time, y/n, I know, but continuing to do that won't let anything progress between the two of you. If anything, it just makes you more scared. Take the risk, y/n, you always loved doing that before."
Your eyes met hers, and you were surprised by the seriousness in Emma's gaze. You never really expected Emma to give a heartfelt talk, everytime she comforts you, it always had a little fun in it, but this time it was different. "You're literally the last person I should be getting a tedtalk from." You finally smiled.
Emma returned the smile, grateful she had brought some lightness back into your expression after weeks of it gone. "What can I say? I'm versatile!" Both of you turned your attention back to Jenna, who looked your way before averting her gaze.
"Looks like she's also hoping you'd come to her." Emma stood up, ready to join the rest of the group. "You'll talk to her, right?"
"I'll try."
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It was already nearing midnight, and the store was about to close. You and Emma were settling the tab for the night's expenses while the rest of the group tidied up and exchanged goodbyes but Jenna stayed on the pool table poorly wasted and most likely unconscious to the bone.
After expressing gratitude to the bar owner, you and Emma exchanged glances, both sharing concern in your eyes while looking at Jenna.
"You take her home," Emma said, running to grab her jacket, keys, and already waving goodbye.
"Wait, what!?"
"Take care, love you always!" Emma dashed to the door and swiftly made her way to her car, leaving you alone with Jenna.
"Wait! Emma!—" you shouted before turning your attention back to Jenna. You sighed, picked up her bag, and draped her coat over her. Taking a deep breath, you lifted Jenna in your arms, her limbs wrapping around your neck as her head hung low.
After several minutes of struggling to open the door with one hand, managing different heavy bags, fiddling with your car keys, and taking care of Jenna, you finally got the car door open. Carefully, you seated Jenna inside, securing her seatbelt.
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You took her in your house just across from her old one. Oh how you've missed the feeling of being with her in this neighborhood.
You kicked off your shoes then walked to your bedroom where you carefully placed Jenna onto your bed.
Sitting down beside her, you immediately realized exhaustion took a toll on you. Your eyes were already falling heavy from the amount of work you exerted, though you knew you needed a shower.
You glanced at Jenna, wondering how she even knew you were filming a set. You were an upcoming director, sure, but you never really worked on big movies with a big budget or even working with big creators. But your name was definitely known somewhat.
Sighing, you stood up to fetch clean clothes and a towel, turning on the faucet for a much-needed shower.
In your time of organizing your things and fetching some clothes, you wonder why Jenna even did all of this. You knew Jenna wasn't the one for being pressured, especially in the entertainment network. She knew a lot of people who succumbed to the pressure of being in the spotlight, a walking billboard who has less control over their life as she would say. But you also knew acting is her passion, and she embraces it like a shooting star. You could only hope she wouldn't be burnt out by the increasing amount of workload she has.
With your eyes and brain already falling asleep, you turn the lights on at your bedroom with fresh clothes hanging by your arm. You close your eyes for a brief second, trying to not get the lights shined bright at you like you just walked by heavens gate.
"Wooahoh, holy shit— fuck!"
To your surprise, Jenna was awake, and staring you dead in the eyes with her iconic Kubrik stare. Damn, after all those years, she still has that flair for scaring the living shit out of somebody.
She was sitting on the ledge of the balcony, the cold wind of air in your street brought her a sense of nostalgia. She held the broken DSLR you owned, and you noticed the faint sound of your voices, distorted by glitches.
"You kept your DSLR?"
You went over to the bathroom then turned off the faucet, placing your clothes on a hanger placed on a wall. "Well, it's my first camera. Of course, I did." You called out.
You approached Jenna, sitting down with her on the ledge. You looked up at her, and you were suddenly reminded how you fell for her in the first place.
She fiddled with the camera, scrolling through the videos until she reached the last one.
"Aliyah! Aliyah, wait!"
"Y/n! Hey…"
"Where's—Where's Jenna? Is she going back to your house for her birthday?"
"Didn't she tell you? She's going across the country; she just got cast for a character in a film!"
You could only hear the faint sound of your camera crashing onto the ground and your glitchy 'what?' being muttered in the background before the battery on your camera dies. You look up to see Jenna's face, looking like she regrets everything she has done.
"I'm—I'm sorry for saying those things when we talked." You started, getting close to her until you were facing her and in arms reach. "I should've given you the time to say your side of the story."
She put the camera down on a table that was close to your window. "It's fine, I understand, I mean, I was a total shithead." Her voice was raspy, likely from recently waking up.
You laughed a bit, funny how she was the only one that made you laugh after the years she made you cry. "You never changed."
She looked up at you, a spark coming alive in her eyes as she tries to get comfortable in your space. "I could also say the same to you, dork."
"Hey, people say I've grown out of that phase."
"You're still that same dork to me. Always so eager to film a scene, going out of your way to do some idiotic shit on film, and that sparkle in your eyes stayed the same."
It was always something from Jenna that made you absolutely mad at her. Whether it was the sound of her voice, her laugh, the warmth of her touch, her aura, the beauty of her entire being, the words she'd say, it always made you so in love with her. But what you surrendered to is the beauty of her soul. And now, it feels as if you were now so deeply in love with her like never before.
At that moment, you could only hear the beat of your heart banging against your ears. You wanted to capture this moment in time and remember it forever.
Your eyes went over to Jenna's lips then looked back at her, her eyes speaking to you as if you both knew what you wanted from each other.
You leaned in ever so slightly, your breath ghosting on Jenna's lips before laying your lips onto Jenna's.
She pressed against your body, her arms wrapping around your waist while your hands cupped her cheeks.
You, in your life, could never describe the feeling to its utmost perfection. You just couldn't. If you ever did, you'd be lying. It was perfect, more than perfect. You couldn't describe it with only one, or even a million words. No sentence, no word, no phrase, no living or dying poet could ever write the moment you're feeling without having to find new words to describe it.
Her lips onto yours was like finally finding that one puzzle piece, her body leaning onto yours was like the tides crashing with the sea, your hand holding her face was like holding the whole world in your hands. You've completely lost yourself, you knew it in your soul, and your heart was now devoured by this girl, and you had no means in returning it.
Before the touch of her lips on yours, you were nothing. You never knew how starved you were, you never knew how much you longed for the touch of her lips onto yours, you never knew how insane you were up until this point, you never knew how love could burn this bright. Especially loving Jenna. Oh, especially loving her.
And then it was all gone, and realization settled in.
You kissed her.
Holy shit you kissed her.
You kissed her and it felt like heaven.
You looked at her in disbelief, how she even accepted your kiss was even more shocking than this. "I'm.. I'm so sorry, was that okay—"
And now, it was her turn to cup your cheeks and kiss you ever so passionately. You melted in her lips, the scent of her perfume consuming your heart entirely, making you go crazy. You sighed against her kiss, you feel her body going closer to you as she finally settled on your lap.
She pulled away, your eyes still closed as she laughs.
"I'd do anything and everything for you, y/n. Just, please, love me again." You opened your eyes to see the only girl you've loved in your entire life say something out of a romantic film.
You chuckle at her words, "I never fell out of it, Jenna. I always loved you."
"Does... does this mean we're, like, girlfriends?" You asked, a serious question by the way, as if kissing two times never really did the trick on you.
Jenna laughed, she laughed. The symphony to your ears came back, though you can finally listen to it forever.
"Oh my God, you really are such a dork."
"Seriously! I'm asking nicely!"
"Yes! Yes we are. You're my girlfriend now."
"And you're my girlfriend. Oh my god, I'm dating Jenna fucking Ortega everyone!" You shouted to the rooftops, couldn't really give a damn if you just woke the whole neighborhood up while Jenna just laughed with you.
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"You never told me why you had to move out." You questioned. The both of you were on your bed, Jenna being beside you and you were beside Jenna. You turned to your side, while Jenna turned to hers.
She looked at you up and down before saying her explanation. "Because I loved you. Too."—She added.
You immediately sat up, "What? What do you mean?"
Jenna stayed in bed, turning on her back. "It's stupid, so stupid. My mom's friends with different directors, right?"
"So she told me I needed to go across the country because she recommended me to one of the directors there and you know me, I wasn't that skilled at acting so I needed training."
"I reluctantly accepted the offer because... because I knew you liked the Scream Franchise. I thought maybe if I had accepted this job offer, you'd watch the full thing and you'd like me back in some way.
"But I didn't think it'd tear us apart. I was jammed-packed with schedules, I'm sorry, y/n. I tried calling and texting you after the film but I heard you changed your number and refused to give my parents your new one."
"When I heard you were an upcoming director, I knew I had to get on one of your movies, but my manager refrained from me taking several movies at once, you know, for my mental health. But when I finally got the chance to get on set with you, I was estatic." She explained her whole story, and you on the hand, felt guilty of ever ignoring her the past few months of filming .
"I didn't know. I'm so sorry I didn't let you speak when we met. I should've waited for your response, I never knew you... liked me back." You reached out for her hand, your thumb grazing over her palm
"I'm a great actor, y/n. I thought you knew that by now." She laughed, and then you laughed with her while going back down to bed.
"Will you go move in soon?" You asked, "well, not move in, but move back in this neighborhood."
"Maybe, someday."
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a/n: we're probablyyy nearing the end of this story. i just wanna thank you guys in advance for all the lovely comments! they make my day so much better and i always look forward to writing more chapters because of it. thank you all so much, i appreciate all of you!
taglist/s: @belatrixdragon , @mirage018 , @starstrzck
334 notes · View notes
brokebonewritings · 4 months
Text
Be Mine, Forever?
Matt Murdock x Reader
Tags/ Warnings: 18+, Smut, Fluff, Valentine's Day Special
Summary: Your day is interrupted by an impromptu girl's day. and your night is filled with passion as Matt surprises you for Valentine's Day. You had a surprise for him as well. Song: Here (In Your Arms) - First Dance by Hellogoodbye
Word Count: 4.4K
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The day started normally enough. Of course, Valentine’s day fell on a week day this year so you were stuck at work. You sent Matt a few ‘Good Morning’ and ‘Happy Valentine's Day’ texts, but it's been radio silence from the other end. This was expected though, since he had already informed you that he was going to be in court all day. 
You sit back at your desk, you've been preparing all month for a new exhibit at The Met. The plans that spread across your desk puzzle you as you try to figure out where to place each case and art piece.
As you meticulously arrange the plans for the new exhibit, your mind can't help but wander back to Matt. The silence from him is starting to feel unusual, as he's always been the one to send you sweet messages and surprises on special occasions. But you brush it off, he's never disappointed you.
Just as you're about to finalize the placement of the last art piece, Marci rushes into your office, a mix of urgency and excitement in her eyes. "Hey!"
"How did you get in here?" You respond with a raised eyebrow. "Did my assistant let you in?"
Just as you finish your question Justin, your assistant, rushes in behind her. "I am so sorry. I tried stopping her, but she is so fast in those heels."
"Lawyer walk." Both you and Marci say in unison. 
She turns back to you with a smile plastered on her face. "I need you to come with me for the rest of the day."
"Marci, I can't just leave work in the middle of the day." You cross your arms over your chest.
"Oh yes you can, I already spoke to your boss! So come on." She grabs your coat that's by the door, along with your umbrella. "We got things to do, come on."
You sigh and thank Justin for trying, and invite him to also take the rest of the day off. Which he does happily.
"So what are we even going to do?" You ask. Grabbing your bag, and putting away your belongings.
"Well we're gonna go get ready for our Valentine's Date Nights, duh." She helps you get your coat on, and you both were off. "I just know that Foggy, and Matt are planning something special for us."
You smile at the thought. "Have you heard from Foggy today? I know they had a busy day."
"Not a word. You didn't hear it from me, but apparently their client is very demanding of their time."
"Oh shit, really?" 
You loved the gossip you got from your lawyer friends. Not that it was filled with a ton of details. Client/Lawyer confidentiality and all that.
"Mhm, Needs lots of attention to detail." She says before dragging you into a nail salon. You realize how nice this salon is after looking around. "Hey, wait, I don't think I'm gonna be able to afford this right now. Trying to save up for a new apartment with Matt, remember?"
She laughs before checking the both of you in for the appointment she had already made. "Who said you were paying? It's all on me today, hun."
"Oh my god, no way! I seriously cannot accept this."
"Too late! It's already done, you don't wanna ruin this day for me do you?" She pouts after turning back to you.
You sigh and shake your head. "Thank you, this is incredibly kind of you."
"Don't even mention it. I wanna make sure we both are dolled up!"
You're both called back after about 5 minutes. The salon was nicer than you thought. When you had both settled at the manicure station, they had offered you both a glass of champagne. Who were you not to accept a free glass?
It was truly relaxing, you were glad that Marci got you out of work early. You both spent the next two hours getting your nails prepped for a night out. Usually you don't get long nails since you work with your hands most of the time, but she insisted you get something more elegant. You couldn't refuse since she was the one paying.
Just as the nail technician finished with your right hand, your phone buzzed on the table beside you. Your heart skipped a beat as you saw Matt's name flashing on the screen. You quickly picked it up and answered, not wanting it to go to voicemail.
"Hey! Happy Valentine's Day!" You chirp happily. "How is court?"
There was a brief pause before Matt's voice came through, heavy with exhaustion. "Happy Valentine's Day, Sweetheart." It's been chaos. I couldn't even find a moment to catch my breath."
You let out a sigh of relief, understanding his predicament. "Then I guess tonight will be a good night to cash in one of those massages I owe you, huh?"
Hearing the low rumble of his chuckle sent chills through your body. "Yeah, guess it will be." He pauses. "I was wondering if you would meet me on the roof tonight, like we used to?"
"Yeah, of course I will." You blush, it has been a while since you both sat on the roof together. "What time do you want me there?"
"8:30. There is room for you to be fashionably late, of course."
You let out a giggle. "Yeah okay, 8:30 then. I'll see you then."
"I love you." He says with a loving sigh.
"I love you too." You respond before hanging up.
"Soooooo," Marci pipes up. "Romantic Dinner?"
The blush was still tinting your face from the conversation. "Yeah, on his rooftop."
"That sounds lovely, very romantic."
As you finish up at the nail salon, Marci insists on taking you to a cafe nearby. She called it a Galentine's Brunch, just the girls. When you both arrived, you were surprised to see that Karen was able to join you. 
"I thought you were in court with Matt, and Fog?"
"Oh no, I told them I wouldn't be in today. Playing hookie." She laughed lightly. "Besides, Im not going to deny Marci a girls brunch. We need it."
As you settled into the cozy booth at the cafe, sipping on your latte, the three of you began catching up on each other's lives. Karen shared stories about her latest investigative assignment, Marci talked about her recent courtroom victories, and you filled them in on the details of the upcoming exhibit at The Met.
Marci nudges you playfully. "Have you thought about what you're going to wear?" she asks with a mischievous smile.
You shake your head, realizing that you've been so caught up in work and the surprise day off that you haven't even considered your outfit. 
"I just figured I would wear what I was wearing right now."
"You're joking." Marci says. "You have to wear something else. Not saying that what you're wearing right now isn't cute, but this is Valentine's Day."
"Yeah you gotta wear something he can undress you with" Karen chimes in with a mischievous smile. "Cause you know he'll love it if you wore something hot."
"Okay, okay. I have been saving a silk dress for a special occasion."
"Silk? I gotta see this." Marci says forcefully.
You pull out your phone and find the dressing room photo you took of the dress in question. It was a lavender colored dress with a cowl neckline. They both stare at the photo then back to you.
"Where have you been hiding that!" Karen says in disbelief.
"In the back of my closet." You respond with a laugh. "I just didn't know how to style it."
"I will simply just have to come over and help you with that." Marci states. 
"And." You pause. "There's matching lingerie."
They both squeal before you change the subject back to Marci and Foggy's plans for the evening.
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You stare in the mirror at the dress you had shown Marci, and Karen earlier in the day.They had left about an hour ago to get ready for their own plans. Not without them giving your outfit their seal of approval though. 
Sitting on your bed, you pull on the heels Marci had carefully chosen. This was going to be a good night, but you didn't know why the butterflies in your stomach felt so prominent. You haven't been this nervous since you started dating Matt.
Taking a deep breath, you remind yourself that there's nothing to worry about. It's just a rooftop date with the love of your life. You run a hand down the front of your dress, feeling its smooth texture against your skin.
As you do your makeup, you can't help but replay all the beautiful moments you've shared with Matt. From late-night conversations under the stars to stolen kisses on the rooftop, every memory fills you with warmth and love. Tonight is just another chapter in your story together, a celebration of your deep connection.
With your hair styled in loose waves, you stand in front of the full-length mirror and admire the final look. The dress drapes perfectly over your figure, accentuating your best features. You feel confident, more confident than you've felt in years.
You look at the clock on your nightstand, and see that it just hit 8:00. Perfect. You grab your bag and set out walking towards his apartment building.
The city is alive with the energy of Valentine's Day. Lovers walk hand in hand, their laughter and joy filling the air. As you make your way through the bustling streets, you can't help but smile. The anticipation in your heart grows with every step.
Finally, you arrive at Matt's apartment building. Taking a deep breath, you enter and climb the stairs towards the rooftop. The familiar sound of the door creaking open greets you as you step onto the familiar space that holds so many precious memories.
The sun has already set, casting a magical glow over the city skyline. The soft twinkle of lights fills the air, creating an atmosphere that feels straight out of a fairy tale. And there he is, standing near the edge of the rooftop, tall and handsome as ever.
Matt turns as he hears your footsteps approaching. A smile spreads across his face, lighting up his eyes in a way that makes your heart skip a beat. That's when you realize that you're not alone. You turn to see that your friends are there. Not only your friends but also your Aunt May and Peter.
"What is happening right now?" You say with a nervous laugh.
"Sweetheart," You hear him say and you turn back and give him your full attention. "I have been meaning to do this for a while, but I didn't know how to go about it."
"Matt, are you?" You begin before he cuts you off with a kiss.
"Ever since I met you I have been so entranced by you.You've brought so much light and love into my life, and I can't imagine a future without you by my side," Matt says, his voice filled with sincerity. He takes a step back, reaching into his pocket and retrieving a small velvet box. Opening it to reveal a dainty opal ring, he drops to one knee.
You stand there for a moment, wondering if this was actually happening or if you were have a really specific dream.
"Will you marry me?" Matt asks, his voice filled with vulnerability and love.
The world around you seems to fade away as you lock eyes with him, feeling a mixture of excitement and overwhelming joy. The weight of his question hangs in the air, and time seems to stand still.
Tears well up in your eyes as you try to find your voice. This moment feels like a dream, but the warmth in your heart tells you it's all too real. You take a deep breath, feeling the weight of the question like a beautiful promise.
"Yes," you whisper, barely able to contain your joy. "Yes, Matt, I will marry you."
The rooftop erupts in cheers and he stands and slips the ring onto your finger. You glance around, realizing that they had all conspired together to create this magical moment. Aunt May wipes away a tear of happiness while Peter grins ear to ear. Marci and Karen are practically jumping up and down with excitement, their eyes shining with joy. Foggy is trying to conceal his tears by wiping his eyes with his sleeves.
Embracing Matt tightly, you feel an overwhelming sense of love and gratitude. This rooftop, once a place of solace and refuge for the two of you, now holds even more significance. It symbolizes the foundation of your future together, a place where love can blossom and dreams can be realized.
Amidst the cheers and laughter, you take a moment to soak in the beauty of this milestone in your relationship. The twinkling lights of the city below seem to dance in celebration, mirroring the joy in your hearts.
"This is so epic, and I got it all on video." Peter says amidst the celebration.
As the cheers die down, Aunt May steps forward, her eyes glistening with tears. "Oh, darling" she says, her voice filled with emotion. "I couldn't be happier for you both. You deserve all the love in the world. Your father would have loved Matt."
"Thanks Aunt May." You say with a tearful smile.
As the rooftop continues to buzz with excitement and congratulations, you and Matt share a tender moment together. He pulls you into his arms, his embrace warm and comforting. You feel safe and cherished as you rest your head against his chest, the sound of his heartbeat echoing in your ears.
"I love you so much," Matt murmurs softly, his voice filled with emotion. "And I promise to spend the rest of my life proving it to you."
You look up at him, your eyes filled with adoration. "I love you too, Matt," you reply, your voice filled with sincerity. "And I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."
After the shared dinner with all of your friends and family, you all decide it's time to head home to spend the rest of Valentine's Day in the comfort of your homes.
Saying goodbye to everyone, you and Matt clean the roof top and share a few intimate moments with kisses and lingering touches.
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On your way back down the stairs, you can feel Matt's presence hovering over you. So you stop for a moment and turn to see what he is doing. As you turn, you feel his hand slide up your jaw as he pushes you against the wall. You gasp as he presses himself against you, one hand around your neck and the other sitting on your waist.
"Ive been waiting all day to be alone with you." He growls into your ear before kissing you roughly.
Your heart races as his lips claim yours, a hunger and desire that electrifies your senses. The intensity of his touch against the coolness of the wall sends shivers down your spine.
His hands explore every inch of your body, igniting a fire within you that only he can quench. The urgency and longing in his kisses leave you breathless.
With each touch, each caress, the connection between you deepens. Your bodies move together in perfect harmony, driven by a love that transcends words.
As he pulls away, you feel dizzy with the intensity of his attack. "We need to get back to your apartment." You state.
"Oh do we?" He questions. "I have no problem ravishing you right here in this stairwell."
You huff, as you stare at his smirking face. "I would actually love for you to ruin this dress, but in the comfort of our bed."
"Our bed?" 
"Yes, our bed." You smirk as you push his hands away and begin to walk back to his apartment.
He follows closely behind you, his eyes never leaving your body. The desire he has for you is palpable, and it fuels you as well. As you pass each door, you can't help but imagine what would happen behind your own.
Approaching his door, you grab the keys from his hand and begin to unlock the door.
"I promise, I'll ruin that dress, right here," he whispers in your ear, causing you to shiver.
You hear the click of it unlocking as you turn to him, "Well, Mr. Devil. Ruin the dress then." you say, your voice barely above a whisper.
As the door creaks open, the sound echoes throughout the hallway, the anticipation in the air is palpable. Together, you step inside and kick the door shut behind you. He pins you against the wall, his hands roaming over your body like a man possessed.
He seems desperate to claim you, to conquer every inch of you. You're aching for him too, the want and need between you undeniable. You need his touch, his kiss, his warmth. You're completely vulnerable to him, ready to give yourself to him in every way.
His lips meet yours in a searing kiss, his hands holding your neck as your fingers dig into his shirt. You break the kiss, both of you panting heavily, your hearts pounding in sync. 
"I love you so much," you whisper, your voice shaking with emotion.
"And I love you more," Matt replies, his voice filled with warmth and devotion.
With that his hands grip the top of your dress and he pulls, ripping the dress down the front. You moan at the intensity of the moment. He really did ruin the dress.
You're left in the lingerie you had on underneath as the dress drops to the floor. He takes a moment before feeling up your sides and realizes what you have on.
"Oh you dirty girl." He groans. "You wanted this to happen tonight, didn't you?"
You smile, feeling a blush rise to your cheeks. "Maybe I did"
"Well, I'm not complaining." He says slowly. "You have no idea how hard this is making me."
"I think I have some idea." You say as you lift your knee, feeling his erection already straining under the fabric of his pants.
His hand maneuvers down to pull your lingerie to the side, revealing your most intimate parts. "I'm going to make you scream, baby."
With that, he lifts you into his arms and carries you to the bedroom. The moment you step into the room, he drops you onto the bed and crawls on top of you.
"I want you so bad," he growls into your mouth. You feel his erection pressing into your thigh, and you're more than ready for him.
He breaks the kiss and starts to unbutton his shirt, you lay back watching as he undresses himself. What a sight it was, he could have been a Greek god.
Once he's stripped down to his boxers, he leans down to kiss you again, his hand traveling down your body, tracing patterns on your skin as he does. His fingers run along the edge of your underwear and you shudder at the sensation.
He hooks his fingers into the waistband of your underwear and slowly pulls them down, revealing your naked body to him. He leans down and begins to kiss your inner thigh, nuzzling into the most inner part.
"You're so beautiful," he whispers, his thumbs brushing against your waist.
Before you can respond, his tongue swipes up against your core. You gasp at the sudden electricity of the situation. He repeats the motion, his tongue swirling around your clit in slow, steady circles. Your hips start to rise in response, your hands finding their way to his hair, pulling him closer. You arch your back, moaning softly.
Matt responds with a gentle growl, his fingers still moving against your waist, caressing your skin. He reaches down and slowly pushes two fingers inside you, drawing out a loud moan.
His other hand moves to your breast, gently squeezing and kneading it. You mewl, your body trembling with need. His tongue continues to dance around your most sensitive flesh, and you feel yourself growing closer and closer to the edge.
"Oh, Matt," you moan, "I need you inside me."
He stops his ministrations, lifting his head towards you. "Not yet," he says, standing up and helping you off the bed. "I want to make you beg for it."
He leads you over to a table by the window, bending you over it. The cool glass feels amazing against your naked skin, as you're exposed to the room with your legs spread apart.
Matt positions himself behind you after dropping his boxers. You can feel his erection pressing against your ass, precum leaking out. You know he's ready for it.
"You're going to make me come so hard," you whisper.
He rubs his tip against your entrance, teasing you, making you crave him even more. Sliding his cock between your folds. You push back against him for any sort of friction.
A loud crack echoes through the apartment. His hand lingers, massaging the area he just spanked. "You need to be a good girl for me. Or else the next one will be a lot harder. Do you understand?"
You nod, pleasure spread across your face as you lean against the table. 
"Good girl, sweetheart. Such a good listener."
Beginning to slide against you once again, you hold back every instinct to push back against him. With every teasing thrust, you feel electrified, your desire for him only growing. He knows what he's doing to you, and he loves every moment.
He slowly begins to tease your hole as you stand there whimpering. Pushing the head inside you, and quickly taking it out.
"Please, Matt, fuck me," you plead. "I can't take it anymore."
He pulls away, a devious grin on his face. "Not yet," he says, kissing the side of your face.
He picks you up, carrying you over to the bed. He lays you down, spreading your legs wide apart and kneeling between them.
"I need you to beg. Okay, sweetheart?" He says and you nod.
He slips two fingers into you, pumping and curling to find your sweet spot. You cry out in pleasure as he hits you right where it feels good. 
"Please, oh god, Matt" You moan loudly. "I'm going to come, please I need you in me."
That must have been enough for him. With a low growl, Matt plunges into you, filling you up to the hilt. He thrusts deep inside you in one swift motion, the bed frame creaking under the force of his passion.
He pulls out almost immediately, leaving you emptiness. "Please," you beg, wanting more.
He chuckles softly, teasing you by running his cockhead up and down your slit. "Patience, sweetheart. I want this to last."
He thrusts back into you, moving slowly, savoring every moment. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer.
The way his cock pulsed inside of you was almost too much to bear. He began to pick up the pace, each thrust harder than the last.
You let out a loud, trembling moan, your head falling back as pleasure washed over you. 
"I love you," he whispers, his breath warm against your skin.
"I love you too," you choke out, the emotions taking over you.
He picks up his pace, driving into you harder and faster, the sound of flesh slapping against flesh filling the room. Your body responds in kind, each thrust sending shockwaves of pleasure coursing through you.
"I'm going to come," you gasp, your voice breaking as your orgasm starts to build.
Matt's thumb found your sensitive clit, sending you soaring towards the edge. "Come for me, baby." he growls.
You let out a wail, your nails digging into his back as your orgasm hit you like a freight train. Your inner walls clenched around him, milking him as you shook uncontrollably.
He continued to thrust into you, driving you further over the edge. Your orgasm seemed to go on forever, your body writhing beneath him in pure ecstasy.
Finally, he slides out of you, leaving your inner walls quivering. He pulls you into his arms, holding you close as your heartbeats sync.
You lay there for a moment, basking in the afterglow of your intense lovemaking.
"My ass hurts." You after taking a deep breath. He begins to chuckle as you giggle. 
"Sorry, too much?"
"Not at all."
"Good" He says as he pulls you closer and peppers your face with kisses.
As you lay there entwined in each other's arms, your skin still flushed and sweaty, you can't help but smile. This was more than just sex; it was a powerful expression of love and intimacy.
Matt pulls away and smiles, a look of pure contentment on his face. "I just can't get enough of you." 
You giggle and wrap your arms around him, feeling safe and loved in his embrace.
"Can we talk about the fact that we're engaged now?"
"I've been planning it for the last 2 weeks with Foggy, Peter, and your Aunt May."
"There is no way that Peter kept a secret for that long. How did you even manage that."
"You can thank your aunt for that one. She basically grounded him from texting you."
This made you both laugh. "You know, I'm gonna have to get used to being called Mrs. Murdock."
A smile spreads across his face, "I'm already getting used to it."
As he pulls you in for another kiss, you can't help but feel a rush of emotion. This man. This strong, protective, and passionate man, is now your fiancé. The thought brings a smile to your face, and you wrap your arms around him even tighter.
"I can't wait to see what the future holds for us," you whisper.
He pulls away slightly, a gentle smile on his face. "The future is ours, my love. And I promise to love and cherish you, always."
"Though I do have one complaint."
"And what is that?" He raises an eyebrow.
"You never asked me to be your valentine."
Chuckling, he pulls your hips closer before whispering in your ear. "Be Mine, Forever?"
"I thought you'd never ask."
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smusherina · 2 months
Text
yard work - chapter 7 (regina george x reader)
fandom: Mean Girls (all media)
pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader
summary: You'd been in the same class as Regina George since kindergarten. You'd lived on the same street even longer. Once upon a time, when life was sandbox disputes and who got the swing first arguments, you'd even been friends. Now, in junior year of high school, you doubted she even remembered you. The same couldn't be said about you. You definitely remembered her.
warnings(s): i feel like the theme is pretty established by now, still homophobia. negative talk about weight. a brief segment about Mr George's A+ parenting. as in, he's bad at it.
chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6 / chapter 8
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You accosted Cady Heron after Ms Norbury's calculus class. You took her by the purse strap and hauled her to the janitor's closet, ignoring all her indignant chirping.
You'd been stewing the whole class, glaring daggers at the back of her stupid orange hair.
"You've crossed a line." You said once the door shut behind you. She was cowering against the wall, looking like a cornered animal. "Those fucking Kälteen bars were too much."
"What? What're you talking about?" She tried to lie, to seem tough like the popular girl she was so desperately trying to be.
"I'm talking about the so-called weight loss bars you gave to Regina." You hissed, stepping closer so you loomed over her. You really wanted to get your point across. "It wasn't very hard to search up what they're really for. You don't mess with someone's body like that."
"She had it coming!" Cady finally relented, looking up at you defiantly. "She- she took Aaron from me and made out with him right in front of me all the time and then she just threw him away!" She yelled, hands clenched to fists and a red flush of rage blotching her freckled face. "All she does is spite me." She added with venom.
"Aaron isn't some trophy for either of you to own." You implored, trying to not react to her raised, aggressive tone. It would be mortifying to cry now. "I'm not saying she didn't do anything wrong, but Cady that's fucked up. You need to apologize."
"Why? Why in the world should I apologize to her? She hasn't apologized to anyone even though she's probably done something to everyone in this hellhole."
"Two wrongs don't make a right. I know that's cliche as hell, but what did you think you'd achieve?"
"We were trying to topple her. Make her lose her status. By making her gain weight, well, she'd get all ugly."
You shivered in repulsion. Regina had already sunken her claws deep into this girl.
"I... I honestly don't know what to say to you." Defeated, you said one last thing: "I'm out. I'm not taking part in your scheming anymore and I don't want to hear about it."
"It's not like you did anything!" Cady huffed.
"Exactly." You sighed. "I didn't do shit." She looked confused at that, but you didn't rightly care.
With that, you stepped out of the closet. This would probably be the only instance you'd step out of the closet, figuratively, in high school. A small victory, maybe.
"What were you doing in the janitor's closet?" You almost bumped into Regina.
Too stunned to hear her speak to you in public, you didn't get to answer before Cady stepped out as well. Her face was still flush and her clothes were a bit messy from you dragging her through the hall.
Regina's expression turned stormy. She seemed to coil back, tension rising in her body as she took stock of the state of you. You could do nothing but stare as she levelled Cady with a murderous look.
When she turned to you, you nearly flinched back. Not only was she angry, furious really, but you'd hurt her. It was clear in the way she was breathing hard and heavy, how she was shuddering the lightest bit, how her lips pinched together. When Regina was angry, only angry, she went cold. It wasn't like this. This was something worse.
"Reg," You tried to say something and went to touch her arm.
"Don't." Don't call me that. Don't touch me. She hissed, hurt turning to fear as she looked around you. People weren't staring, luckily you hadn't caused a scene, but there were always eyes on Regina.
You looked down at your shoes and, with great reluctance, walked away. It was considerably harder to keep from crying now.
Not feeling up to geography, you went to your usual spot. The number of cigarettes you smoked in a day was starting to get a little too much. You couldn't find it in yourself to care now.
Once you arrived behind the bleachers, you tossed your backpack onto the grass and sat on it. The ground was cold and getting colder by the day. Soon enough it'd snow.
What the fuck were you doing? You'd impulsively confronted Cady, angry for Regina's sake, but you hadn't been able to really say anything to her. You'd asked her what she was trying to achieve, and all the while you had no idea of what you wanted.
You wanted everything to be okay. That was vague. You wanted Regina to be not nice, but herself. She wasn't vindictive by nature. You wanted her to apologize, but couldn't open your fucking mouth and say that. You wanted Cady to stay the fuck away from her, same went for Janis and Damien.
You weren't so dumb as to expect you'd be able to convince anyone. You didn't have any weight in these people's lives. You barely existed. For Regina to change, something drastic needed to happen. Something like a fall from grace, you grudgingly admitted. It would change her, but it would also hurt her. You didn't want to do that. Maybe if her dad changed. Then again, even if he changed that wouldn't erase the past. Maybe Cady could move her somehow. Regina had taken her under her wing, after all, though for misguided reasons. Maybe there was something there.
(The pattern was hard to miss. Regina rounding up pretty girls around her. When you no longer measured up to her standards, she got Janis. Then she threw her away. Eventually, she found Karen and Gretchen. Now, Cady was next.)
You heard approaching footsteps and crossed your fingers, hoping it wasn't a teacher. Soon enough, Janis 'Imi'ike appeared before you in all her gothy glory.
"Gimme one." She demanded as she squatted down in front of you.
"That'll be fifty cents." You said back. There was only one person you'd share your pack with for free.
Janis tsked. "Fine." She reached into her pockets and after a bit of rifling handed you a coin. You pocketed it and offered the pack to her.
"Got a lighter?" She asked with the stick in her mouth. You tossed it to her. "Thanks."
You took the lighter back. She didn't say anything for a while. You could appreciate that, even if you didn't want to talk to her at all.
"So, you're out."
"Yup." You took a drag. "Espionage isn't for me."
"Even though you ruined all our plans?" You'd hoped they hadn't realized you were the mole, but you supposed that'd been naïve.
"Yeah. I'm not built for it." You looked at the slowly burning smoke between your fingers. "Y'know, you're not so different."
"What? Me and who?" She adjusted on her perch. The black eyeliner around her eyes made them look huge.
"Regina." She looked about ready to punch you. "What she did to you was evil, I know. It's not about that."
"Then what is it about?" She took an angry drag. It looked ridiculous. Sucking on the filter hard enough to scrunch her lips. You closed your eyes for a moment to not be so amused by it.
"You want revenge 'cause you were wronged. Regina, she..." You didn't want to sell her vulnerabilities to her mortal enemy, but you wanted to try and reach Janis. "She's been hurt too. It's not the same, exactly, but she's not doing this because she's rotten inside."
"You don't know shit," Janis snarled, cig nearly snapping in half in her tight grip. "You're just trying to sympathise-"
"Yes, I'm trying to sympathise with her, is that so wrong?" You interrupted her, frustrated she wasn't listening to you. Or maybe she was and just not liking what she heard. If that were the case, your words meant nothing and you were a fool for trying. Still, you kept going.
"This one time, Reg and I- I mean, Regina and I,-" You knew it was futile to hope Janis hadn't noticed your slip-up. "We were climbing the apple trees in their backyard. We had a great time, sitting up there and eating the small, sour apples, just being kids. When we got back, though, we ran into Mr George.
"Regina had on a white sundress. It was covered in grass stains and bits of tree bark. Mr George got so angry. He started yelling right in her ear, I don't even remember what he said. I was so afraid. Regina just stood there, staring at nothing. We were holding hands and she just went limp. It was as if she was used to it, like she knew exactly what to do.
"Then, he told her to get the dress to Mrs George immediately. And no dessert that day. As soon as we got away from him, I burst out crying. Poor Regina didn't know how to console me, so she just took me to her mom. She was sorting laundry in the mudroom, I think, and as soon as she saw us she just said: "Rick yelled?" Like it was so normal. Regina started crying then too."
You took a drag. "I can't stop you from seeking revenge. But I guess I'm asking you to. I'm asking the same of her. She doesn't need to take her revenge against the world, either."
Janis picked at her nailpolish. All black except for the ring finger, which was a shoddy rainbow. "If you think that sob story's gonna convince me, think again. So what, her dad yelled at her so it's okay for her to, hmm, let's go down the list, uhhh, belittle her supposed friends, degrade random passers-by, steal boyfriends like it's a hobby, breed eating disorders, and so on. Riddle me that."
"Where do you think Regina learned to treat others the way she does? Where did she learn that in order to be safe, she needed to be above everybody, that she needed to be in command at all times? Where did she learn that she needed to be mean to gain that authority? Not just mean, but vicious and cruel and fucking scathing." You raved, voice rising. "Riddle me that, Janis."
"Her daddy issues don't take away the choices she's made!"
"No, they don't, but they explain them. Doesn't intent make any difference to you?"
"You're seriously telling me she didn't intend to ruin my life when she told everybody in school that I was a lesbian?"
"I'm telling you she's a bad person, a flawed person, but redeemable. I'm not asking you to change your opinion, I'm asking you not to take this stupid revenge idea any further." You paused to take a breath. "Janis, I'm... I'm a lesbian too. She's not inherently bad."
"What?" Her voice was like a whisper.
"Yeah. I came out to her when we were, like, eleven." You'd known so early because you'd been crushing on your best friend. Wonder who that'd been. "Looking back on it now, I think she ditched me for you."
"And then she left me too, fucked me over, and moved on to her next victim." Janis looked shell-shocked. Did you really pass as straight so well? Or was her gaydar all wonky? "She- she didn't tell anybody?"
"No, I don't think so. I've never gotten any shit for it. Or, well, I have 'cuz I look pretty butch, but not like that."
Janis just looked at you, cigarette burning away. You took a pointed drag. She copied you.
"She's not homophobic. She just didn't like me." Janis said, mostly to herself it seemed. You couldn't tell what she was thinking or if this information had changed anything.
"Does that make it better or worse?"
"I don't know. It still hurts." You could understand that. "I need to talk to Damien about this."
"Don't spread any of this around." She looked at you sharply. "Obviously you're gonna tell him, I didn't mean that."
"Well. Good." She stood up and stretched her legs. "I'll think about your proposition." She said as she stumped the cig out with her boot.
You scoffed. "Bye." Proposition.
Her consideration would have to be enough for you. You stumped your own smoke as well. There was little time left to contemplate lighting a new one when yet another client came to your outdoor office. You could start charging visitors with the amount of people coming in and out of your alcove.
Regina stood above you, face still conveying not-good things, but the glassy surface of her eyes had disappeared.
"Move aside." She commanded. You shuffled off of your backpack obediently, planting your ass on the damp grass without complaint. Her pants were more expensive anyway.
"I was telling Cady she'd overstepped." You blurted before she could get a word out. "I'm sorry if it was, like, a bad move I just... I felt like I needed to say something."
"Yeah, well, that was stupid. You shouldn't have made it seem like you knew me." You winced sadly. "I don't need you to defend my honour. And you also totally ruined any leverage I had with that."
"I'm sorry." You kept your head down, looking intently at the grass.
"Hmm." She just hummed. You couldn't read her like you usually could, preoccupied with keeping yourself calm. "What are you doing for Thanksgiving?"
Confused by the sudden topic change, you looked at her. She was leaning her elbow on her knee, her temple on her fist. She had on a little smile, like she hadn't just shamed you. You should've probably been relieved. She wasn't mad. But you were still in it.
"Uh, I'm..." You shrugged, trying to regulate. "Dad isn't coming home, if that's what you're asking."
"Okay, you're coming to mine for Thanksgiving." She said so easily. "Mom will be thrilled."
"What? Thanksgiving at the Georges?"
"That sounds like a shitty TV show. Like Seinfeld."
"I'm serious, Regina." You swallowed. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"It'll be fine. If you act like you did the other night, everybody will be charmed." She grinned like that was an inside joke between you two. "Only my aunt and cousin, mom's side, are coming. I think you've met Riley. Aunt Josie is cool."
You were starting to feel sick. You knew her, at least thought you knew her, but her switching up how she treated you whenever she felt like it was getting tiring. What did she want from you? How were you supposed to act? Could you even ask without her getting mad or you embarrassing yourself?
You had conviction in that you liked her, wanted to protect her, and would be on her side, but was that enough? Did you have enough strength to sustain the rollercoaster that was Regina George? It felt as if there was no other option than to keep riding. You couldn't exactly jump off unless you were prepared for certain death.
"I've met Riley." Your tone must've been telling of how drained you were feeling. Regina tilted her head at you.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, just tired." You didn't want to be around people for the rest of the day. You wished you could just go home, nap, and have Regina there. Your Reggie, a little bitchy but funny, the side of her she only seemed to show when you were in private.
"You could go home." Her suggestion was tempting.
"No, dad's gonna yell at me again if I skip any more classes." He'd already called you earlier that month. It hadn't been pleasant, to put it nicely. Fifteen minutes of him berating you over the phone felt like a split second compared to the hour-long rants he'd go on when he was home. So, it could've been worse.
"I'll come over to yours later." She stated rather than asked. Obviously, you had to say yes, however reluctantly. "We could go shopping, too."
"You'd take me shopping?" Now that was new. You couldn't help but be a little pleased by that.
"Grocery shopping."
Oh.
"Mom says it's best to get some of the ingredients for Thanksgiving early." Regina recounted, crossing her arms and leaning against the metal backing. Your backpack had her elevated so she was a little above you. A change in pace.
Even her lower chin looked good. Damn.
"This early, though?"
"You know her. She's neurotic."
"Maybe a little bit."
"So, you'll come?" Resigned, you nodded. "I'll come to yours and we'll go."
"Why aren't we taking your car?"
"It's too recognisable. Duh." Yeah. Of course. How could you forget? "We're going pretty late, too. Less foot traffic."
You hummed. It wasn't as if you could change society. Even if things were different with Regina, you still couldn't be seen getting too cosy with her. You could like her from a distance and that was that. You could be a good friend and that should've been plenty. Really, above anything, you wanted her to be happy. With or without you.
That thought grated on you. You didn't want to lose her. You weren't sure if your choices made it so that you already had.
Why did everything have to be so hard?
Notes: This was originally supposed to be the climax chapter, but it seems we're still climbing. Next chapter then! Look forward to it :)
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