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serverusslaype · 20 days

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Shameless, pt. 15

Severus Snape x professor!reader fic

Shameless Masterpost

hey guys.................. dont kill me. i'm so sorry for the incredibly lengthy hiatus.... i had no motivation, each time i opened the file to type i'd type a couple words, maybe a paragraph and close it. i finally found the motivation to finish this chapter recently, i'm hoping it stays. it's been a rough couple months, so hoping this can help me feel a bit better!!

i felt really guilty for sort of abandoning the fic where it was, but i couldn't force myself to write anything, there was no creative juice, i think i sort of burnt myself out. and for the previous posts saying i was back, i thought i was, but i'd have the smallest spark of inspiration and try to write, but then nothing happened, and i felt bad so i didn't want to say something like, sorry, i lied. :(

hopefully this chapter is okay, i know most of you won't like it, but i'm so glad i finally finished it, it was one of the hardest to write because i had so many ideas on how it'd end and effect the whole story itself, so i had to make sure it made sense.

i can't believe you guys are still here after so long, it made me emotional to see all of your asks and comments and likes, i was just floored to be honest, so thank you so much for your unwavering support. i love you all so so much. honestly. holy shit. this has been a journey. <3 i hope you guys are all doing brilliantly.

warnings: lack of snape, swearing, mentions of adultery, slight domestic violence, verbal abuse at the end

You didn't know where to go. You felt... lost. You couldn't exactly go back to your quarters, not with Ben there, you didn't need more questions about why you were crying your eyes out at this time of night. It's not like you could tell him the truth.

So, you did what anyone would: go for a midnight walk. Well, at least that's what you thought anyone would do when they had nowhere to go. You'd hoped that the fresh, cold air would soothe your burning lungs, and the gentle breeze would dry your teary eyes. In an even deeper, darker part of your mind, you also hoped that Black would find you. Perhaps that would make everything... easier.

With tears still streaming freely from your eyes and heavy feet, you padded towards the large, magnificent doors that led to the outside with your arms wrapped around your body tightly; trying your best not to breakdown until you were alone. Your hands were still shaking as you pushed them against the doors, opening it a tad as the cool wind blew through the crack and into your face. You gasped a little at the sharp breeze, but nonetheless you slipped out, and made your way into the courtyard. The temperature was a little more biting than you had anticipated, and so you squeezed your arms around yourself a little tighter, walking towards the infamous wooden, crooked bridge.

As you sauntered through the courtyard, the only noises you heard were the owls hooting in the distance, the gentle breeze brushing through the burnt-amber leaved trees and the faint clack of your heels against the cobblestoned ground. In all honesty, it did feel a little eerie to the say the least, but at this very moment that was the least of your worries. All you wanted was a little time alone to cry, or grieve what could have been with ...Severus.

Gods, it hurt to even think his name, let alone speak it.

You reached the wooden bridge, and you stopped in the middle of it; leaning against the intricately carved columns to gaze out at the highlands. The moonlight casted a gorgeous glaze-like reflection upon the Black Lake, and it twinkled beautifully, almost hypnotising you like an illusion. Your eyes flicked up to the moon and glanced around it, staring at the glittering stars surrounding it like a perfect painting. Only times like this did you miss teaching Astronomy. As your mind reeled back to your first year teaching at Hogwarts, you relished in the time where you did not know the man named Severus Snape, and suddenly your heart sank in your chest like an anchor dropped at sea. You were so naive back then, unknowing of what was to come.

As the memories of you and Severus flooded your mind like a dam breaking, you let yourself cry. You could still feel his lips on yours, his fingertips gently tracing the curves and grooves of your skin, the words he'd whispered into your ear - it was all there, stained on your skin, like a tattoo - or perhaps a branding. And now you had to live with it. You weren't sure if you'd survive this time, especially not with how deeply you felt for him. You were torn between pretending he didn't exist and trying to talk to him, perhaps even telling him how you felt, but truth be told you were petrified of how he'd react. Would he even look at you again with those glittering black eyes you'd come to adore so hopelessly? Would he dare speak to you again, knowing that he'd charmed you? Maybe he'd relish in the fact that he'd done so, take pride in bewitching you, and make you hurt for it. You knew Snape could be rather cruel, your school days here with him as your teacher was enough for you to know that.

All these unanswered questions swam through your head and you felt yourself becoming suffocated from them, and it suddenly felt as if your lungs had filled with water, drowning you. You sobbed helplessly as you slid down the wooden wall behind you with your hands against your face, the rough edges scratching your back through your clothes rather uncomfortably.

"Y/N?" A voice came from beside you, and you froze. You turned your head away from them and quickly used your sleeve to wipe your eyes, drying the tears that had fallen from them. Only one person has a voice as soft as the one you had just heard.

You gave yourself a moment to gather yourself before even attempting to use your voice.

"Hello, Remus." You croaked quietly, sniffling.

"What on Earth are you doing out here so late?" He questioned gently, and you heard him take a step towards you. "Are you alright?"

"Quite dandy," you sarcastically quipped, sighing deeply, "I'm brilliant..." You turned your head to face him, and immediately, his face softened at the sight of your own. You were sat up against the side of the bridge, knees up against your chest and your arms wrapped around them; nose and eyes red, wet with tears. Remus quickly dropped down to his knees beside you, placing a soothing hand upon your forearm.

"What happened?" Remus asked, careful to keep his voice quiet and soft. With empty eyes, you stared into his worried ones, and instantly you felt terrible. The last thing you wanted was people worrying over you.

You looked away, down at the ground. "I..." you mumbled, sighing, "it's a... long... story." You spoke slowly. From the corner of your eye, you saw a small smile quirk up on Remus's lips.

"I've got time, my dear." He replied as his thumb brushed your forearm, silently encouraging you to talk. You felt at ease in Remus's presence, it was almost like he had a calm aura around him, and naturally your body relaxed beside his. You took a deep breath.

"Erm," you choked, sniffling again, "it's Se... Snape." You couldn't bring yourself to say his first name without crumbling into a million pieces.

Remus let out a gentle breath. "Snape, of course," He tutted, glancing between you and the ground. "What's he done?" The fact that Remus reacted like he had expected Snape to have hurt you, further broke your heart. Were you the only one to have seen through his icy exterior?

"Broken my heart," You laughed dryly, and you had to fight back another bout of tears. Remus's brows furrowed in confusion at you. "We... I... Look, I'm not sure how to explain this to you. But... I fell..." You trailed off, unable to finish your sentence. Your heart hurt too much. You only hoped that Remus knew what you were about to say.

Remus blinked and stared at you, shocked. Clearly, the two of you had hidden your 'relationship' well - so well that everyone was oblivious to it. "You fell...?" He frowned.

"In love... with him..." You almost whispered, avoiding Remus's eyes. You weren't sure if you'd be able to handle the look in them.

"You're in love with... Severus?" Remus repeated, and you squeezed your eyes shut at his words. They were like daggers, stabbing your bleeding heart. It was almost like you could feel it trembling inside of your chest, begging you to free it from this cycle of torment. "But... Aren't you with... Ben? And... Severus... he's..."

"I know," you sighed, noticing his confusion, "I had feelings for Severus before I met Ben. And it sort of just, like, spiralled out of control, and now, erm, here I am- Gods, I should have just listened to Minerva, I wouldn't be here right now, hurting like this." You ranted, another strangled sob leaving your throat. Remus watched you, and his eyes softened. He felt terrible for you. "She warned me, Remus, why didn't I just listen to her?!" You cried, letting your head fall into your hands.

"Y/N," Remus whispered, reaching out a cautious hand to pry your face from your hands. With a soft gasp, you looked up with teary eyes, and he wiped a stray tear from your cheek. "We don't get to choose who we do and don't fall in love with. We follow our hearts blindly, most of the time, unknowingly." He said, and moved his hand from your wet cheek to your shoulder, rubbing it soothingly. "It's beyond our control who we love."

There was a moment of silence.

"...What do I do, Remus?" You sobbed softly, sniffling, looking at your knees.

"Have you told him?"

"No."

"I think you should."

"But what about Ben? Shouldn't I... deal with... that first?" You sniffled again. "And what if Severus doesn't feel the same way about me? Then what?"

Remus paused for a moment, thinking. You looked up at him. "What if he does?" He said, a small, comforting smile tickling his lips as he stared at you.

"Well- from the way he treated me earlier... I truly doubt it, Remus." You scoffed, glancing away from his pitying brown eyes.

Remus sighed, and you clenched your jaw. "Regret is a terrible thing, Y/N," he said, "it's such a short word, yet it stretches on forever." Your eyes were glued on the ground and your body was still, but your mind was running a million miles an hour.

You sat there in silence for a short moment, thinking deeply. Remus was right. You'd regret it for the rest of your life if you didn't tell Severus how you felt. That chance of him reciprocating your feelings was small, but it was still there. If he didn't feel the same, fine, you'd move on. Eventually. And if he did?...

"...Alright," You nodded sheepishly. "I'll tell him. I just... need to, erm, work out when and more specifically, how. Like, do I just straight up blurt it out? Work my way up to it? H-how do you know it's the right time?" You rambled with tears still falling from your eyes, glancing through them at Remus who sat beside you with a soft expression upon his features.

"You'll know." Was all he said before slowly standing and holding out a hand for you to take. Graciously, you took it, and Remus pulled you to your feet. "Feel better?" He hummed, casting a glance out at the moon, then a worried look suddenly struck his eyes. You noticed and frowned slightly at his behaviour.

The moon?

"A little." You forced a smile upon your lips, and lifted up a hand to wipe the remaining stray tears upon your red cheeks. Remus looked back at you, and returned your smile. "How come you were out so late?" You asked curiously, brushing off his odd reaction to seeing a moon.

"A walk in the night does me good," Remus shrugged, and began to walk back towards the castle with you beside him. "Clears my head."

"Ah, well, I suppose I'm glad you found me, then." You chuckled awkwardly, folding your arms against your chest.

Remus smiled at you and placed an arm around your shoulders, giving you a squeeze. "Let's get you back to your quarters, Y/N, you look like an ice block." He hummed and lead you back to the castle, but not before throwing another glance over his shoulder to the almost-full-moon.

Faint, footsteps trailed down an empty corridor, and a billowing black cape followed with it. As Severus marched, his chest felt horribly heavy, almost like there was a boulder chained to it, weighing him down. He couldn't figure out why he felt like this, and it was starting to make him a little irate. He knew it was something to do with you since it had started after you'd stormed out of his office.

As Severus was about to round a corner, the sound of familiar, sweet laughter rattled through his bones, and immediately he froze. Without a doubt, he knew it was you. Only you could have laughter that sounded like the sweet songs that birds chirped in the summer mornings. The breath in his lungs suddenly vanished and he quickly swooped himself behind a bookcase, poking his head out from the side of it to see who you were with.

The moment you appeared, that boulder chained to his chest became heavier, and he felt himself lean against the bookcase he hid behind. Severus's eyes widened as they glued themselves to the man beside you - Remus Lupin. His blood boiled at the sight.

What could have Lupin have said to make you laugh like that? He'd only heard you laugh like that when you were with him, not Lupin.

From a distance, he couldn't make out what the two of you were talking about, but it was obviously hilarious. Severus's jaw clenched as he watched Lupin place a hand upon the small of your back, guiding you.

Guiding you... inside your quarters?

Snape hissed silently to himself as he stared, his sharp and hardened eyes welded to the back of Lupin's head like molten metal. As your door shut, Snape could only huff in disgust with bared teeth. What were the two of you doing in there? It was past midnight and you and Lupin seemed happy as Larry to go into your quarters. Snape couldn't bear the idea of you and Lupin alone together - let alone the fact that Lupin had had his damned, grubby paws on you. Severus clenched his jaw in a violent fashion, very clearly upset at how you'd moved on so quickly, especially with another professor at Hogwarts. Was this your thing? Bewitch every lonely professor that you laid your wretched eyes upon and then move onto the next? Did it make you feel better about yourself in some fucked up way?

An uneasy, bitter feeling twisted inside of his chest as he pictured the two of you alone and he whipped around out of spite; the swoosh of his long, black cloak filling the silent hallway. How could you move on so quickly, so... easily?

"Never did I think I'd see the day that someone told me they fell in love with a man like Severus Snape." Remus laughed softly as he waddled to your sofa, glancing at you as if to ask if it was alright to sit. You nodded at him.

"And yet here we are." You hummed with a flat mouth, clearly not as amused as your friend was. "Sometimes I wish I was as emotionally guarded as he was, but then I remember how bloody miserable that would be." You mumbled, earning an abrupt laugh from Lupin who'd settled on the couch with a soft sigh.

Ben was nowhere to be seen, so you assumed he was asleep in the bedroom.

"Severus is an interesting character, most definitely," Lupin nodded and you turned around, walking towards him to join him on the sofa. "And I applaud you for being able to tame him. If it's any consolation, only one other woman had been able to, though I think it was... unintentional, if you will."

"Unintentional?" You questioned, your tone curious. Though almost instantly, that curiosity was killed as the thought of Severus with another woman stabbed at your fragile heart. "Actually, I'm not sure if I want to hear this right now." A dry laugh slipped from your lips and you exhaled sharply as another wave of tears prickled at your waterline.

"Alright." Lupin said softly, taking notice of your quivering voice. He stood up with a breathy groan and shuffled towards you, slinking an arm around your shoulders to pull you into his chest. It was calming, and the way he hugged you reminded you of all the times your parents would comfort you as a child. As Lupin gave you a supportive squeeze, it was as if he'd accidently pushed the button for the waterworks - hot tears began to stream down your cheeks once again, and you sobbed quietly into his wrinkled shirt.

"Hey," Lupin sighed as he watched your shoulders shake with sorrow. His hand sat on the top of your arm, squeezing it gently: a dire attempt at consoling you. "Don't cry, Y/N, it'll pass."

"Idon'twantitto-" You mumbled into his shirt, sniffling loudly. Lupin's brows furrowed together in confusion as he paused for a brief moment, silently trying to decipher what you'd just said.

"What?" He asked gently, leaning his head down so he could hear you a little better. You lifted your head from him, sighing, another heartbreaking sniffle sneaking out of your reddened nose.

"I don't want it to." You repeated yourself, lifting a hand up to wipe your wet eyes lazily.

"I know. But it will." Lupin sighed too. "Severus is... a very... damaged man," He cringed slightly at his choice of words, but he continued, "I'm not even sure that you could help him- or fix him."

At this point, you were staring soullessly at the floor, and the only thing you could feel was Lupin's chest against your shoulders. Were you and Severus really a lost case? You felt like you'd made so much progress, he'd opened up to you, he'd... he also ran away again. Perhaps your friend Remus is right.

"I think I want to be alone." You suddenly blurted out, slowly glancing up at the professor with glossy, red eyes. Lupin blinked at you, confused for a moment, though he quickly came to. He didn't blame you for saying such a thing - you'd just had your heart ripped out, to put it simply.

Remus didn't say anything, he only nodded, offering you a kind, yet pitiful smile - and that hurt you slightly. You didn't want his pity, in fact, you didn't want anyone's pity. "If you need anything, you know where to find me." He muttered, brushing a hand through your hair softly. You shut your eyes for a moment and sighed, a small gush of guilt filling your body. Here Lupin was, trying to console you, and you're kicking him out. You hoped he didn't take it personally.

"I'm sorry, I... I just need to be alone." You quickly offered. Remus shook his head and frowned at you.

"No, I understand. See you in the morning, Y/N. Feel better soon." The professor smiled at you and this time it wasn't rich with pity, but kindness. He tipped his head at you and began to shuffle his way towards the door, opening it with a quiet creak from the oak. Before he disappeared out of your chambers, Remus turned around and smiled at you once more, slipping away.

Seconds after the door shut, a drowsy-looking Ben opened your bedroom door, popping his head out. He squinted at the bright light, clearly having just woken up. That settled your nerves slightly, since you'd just spoken about Severus with Remus, only a few metres away from Ben.

"Are you crying?" Ben yawned, his bushy brows furrowed in either confusion or annoyance - at this point you couldn't tell.

"No," You coughed and turned around to pretend to do something else as you wiped at your eyes. "I'm fine, go back to bed, Ben." A curt sigh fell from your lips, and almost immediately you heard footsteps padding closer to you. "I'm fine." You repeated, listening as his feet stopped behind you.

"What happened?" Ben asked, the tiniest hint of sympathy in his voice made you shiver slightly.

"Nothing, it was just a rough day at work, honestly. I'd rather not talk about it." Your brows shot together as you tried to keep the tears at bay, but you couldn't help but think about Severus as Ben placed a hand on your waist in an attempt to pry you away from the countertop and towards him. You didn't want anyone else's hands on you but his.

"Hey," Ben said softly, though it felt heavy in your chest. "It's work. It won't matter in a day or two." You were silent. "Y/N?"

"I need a drink." You muttered and forced yourself to look at Ben, cringing slightly as you walked past him and towards a glossy wooden cabinet in the corner of your chambers. You rarely drank, and if you did, it was to either celebrate something, or forget something.

Another uncomfortable silence fell on top of the pair of you.

"Want one?" You asked with no emotion in your voice.

Ben hesitated for a moment, his groggy eyes staring at the back of your figure, silently trying to deduce you. "...Sure."

You were going to regret this.

You'd changed into comfier clothes, more specifically a pair of forest green silk shorts and a matching camisole top. Sitting on the edge of your bed, you faced Ben as he was sat on the windowsill opposite you, nursing his glass of wine. After a few strong sips, the pair of you were chatting and reminiscing like old pals. "Remember that time when I turned Peter Kipling into a weasel in McGonagall's class?" Ben giggled drunkenly, elbowing you gently as you nodded with tears in your eyes, an amused grin spread across your face.

"Oh my- I forgot about that!" You wheezed, smacking your lips together. "Didn't you get... like... at least- like a month's detention for that?" You laughed, slurring, taking another sip of your glass of Elven wine. You winced slightly at the strong aftertaste as it burned your throat. That was to be your last drink, you couldn't take much more.

"Ohh, yeah, I d-id," Ben hiccuped, his laughter dying out as he sighed; his tired eyes falling onto you. Shuffling under his gaze, you felt slightly uncomfortable. A brief yet thick silence suddenly engulfed the two of you like a slow-burning fire. Ben stood from where he'd been sat, stumbling over to where you were, stopping just in front of your knees.

"I miss talkin' to you, Y/N." He sighed, taking his hand and placing it upon your cheek; carressing the apple of it with his rough thumb. The strong scent of alcohol on his breath made you gag a tad - you were drunk as well, but the smell of it wasn't pleasant, especially from his mouth.

Your breath hitched slightly at the sudden contact.

"..Yeah." You answered quietly albeit awkwardly as you stared up at Ben. Though, all the wine you'd consumed was making him look like someone... else - the darkness wasn't helping either, in fact it was fueling your hallucinations. The dark cast of a shadow from the lit candles behind him made his nose appear larger, and his cheekbones a little more pronounced.

Slowly, he crouched down until you two were eye-level, his hands slipping to your ankles. Your body stiffened slightly at the feeling. "Ben.." You warned, sighing as the drunk buzz and pleasurable tingle from the pads of his fingers was starting to cloud your mind.

"Whaat?" He whispered, heavy-lidded eyes still glued to yours as his fingers began to trail up your calves. Ben began to stand up slightly, pushing his face dangerously close to yours, and so you leant backwards to avoid him, your back gradually making contact with the bed. He shuffled forwards slightly, pressing a knee against the edge of the bed to balance himself.

You shouldn't be doing this, you knew that, but Gods, the alcohol was truly fucking with your morals and mind.

Would it hurt?

Just a little... taste...?

You shut your eyes as you became lost in the feeling; his fingers reaching the backs of your soft thighs, a breathy sigh falling from your lips. Slowly, you opened your eyes again as Ben's smalelr nose pressed into your neck, followed by his wet lips. You gasped as his hands found your torso, his fingers pressing a little too harshly into your flesh.

Severus.

Memories of him suddenly flooded your mind like a reservoir breaking a dam, flushing out anything that didn't embody him. All the times Severus had attacked your supple flesh beautifully; pulling gorgeous moans from those pink lips of yours. Your brows furrowed together as your body silently yearned for his touch. It hurt.

You were stuck between stopping this and just shamelessly indulging in the dark, twisted fantasy of pretending that Ben was Severus. You were being so selfish. And yet, you didn't care, all of the emotional turmoil that you'd been through tonight was pushing you to the edge - all you wanted was the man who didn't love you, who only saw you as a quick fuck, maybe some midnight company.

You shut your eyes again and tried your best to imagine him. With a sigh, you ran your hand up Ben's neck and into his hair, though it wasn't the same. You missed the way you'd tangle your fingers in his raven-black locks, gripping on it as he'd ravish your neck and breasts like some mad professional. Sighing frustratedly, you moved your hands down to his shoulders, expecting the rough, black fabric of Severus's robes, and yet you were met with the flimsy, thin fabric of Ben's white cotton t-shirt.

You felt so fucking pathetic.

Knock, knock.

You froze, eyes snapping open as quick as lightning. Was there someone at the door?

"Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Ben groaned drunkenly as he continued to kiss your neck. Unfortunately for him, the feeling had worn off the second you heard those knocks.

"The knocks at the door."

"You're.. imag-ining things, baby." Ben sighed and hiccuped once more, his uncomfortably hot breath on your neck made you shiver. At this point, Ben was much more drunk than you, and so with your remaining energy, you rolled him off of you. "Whoa- heey-!" He groaned as you slipped from underneath him, padding to the door. You didn't bother to check if he was alright, the only thing on your mind was who was at your door at this time of night.

Was it him? Did you want it to be him?

Reluctantly, you reached out your hand to open the door.

Nobody was there.

You frowned and leaned forwards, poking your head out to glance around. The corridor was empty, completely empty. That was incredibly weird, did you imagine those knocks? You sighed softly - perhaps you were a little disapppointed. Turning around, you shut the door, only to be faced with Ben sat sloppily in a chair with a face like thunder.

"Waitin' for someone?" He asked with a flat tone, his head lazily cocked to one side, still clearly drunk.

"What?"

"You know what I'm talkin' abou', Y/N." Ben said with the same tone, standing up, albeit unsteadily. You swallowed as he inched closer towards you, dragging his feet, your toes burying themselves against the hard wooden floor beneath your feet. "I know about the notes you kept. From him." He spat, pointing his finger at your face. Your heart instantly began to gallop; the pounding of its beats echoed in your ears like a harrowing scream in the night.

The notes...

"Excuse me?" You choked out, brows furrowing together in complete shock.

This was not how you wanted this to go down.

"I went through yer little drawers. In yer greenhouse," Ben scowled, his nose turning upwards in what you could only describe as disgust. "All of his little notes were perfectly preserved, and mine? Well-" Your mind was running so quickly that you could barely even listen to what he was saying - the fact that he went behind your back and invaded your privacy was the only thing sticking out to you as of right now. Your skin felt like it was on fire as the anger began to flood your veins.

"You went through my drawers, Ben?!" You yelled, shoving a finger in his face.

"That's the only thing you care abou'?! Not the fact that you secretly- obviously, have some sort of fucked up... thing for a man who treats people like they're the tiniest bit of shit on 'is shoe?!" Ben screamed back drunkenly as he bared his teeth, stomping towards you and smacking your finger away. "The fuck is wrong withya?"

You knew this could get ugly quite quickly, especially as Ben was drunk - a lot drunker than you. But at this moment, your anger was far too hot to even think about cooling things down.

You scoffed at him, your lips twitching upwards into a disgusted sneer. "What the fuck is wrong with you?! Going through my stuff?!" You shouted at him, taking a step backwards as he began to get a little too close for comfort. "That's not okay, Ben!"

"How long has it been going on?" Ben asked, his tone suddenly calm. That put you on edge.

You paused for a moment, pondering on his question. It was probably best that you didn't answer that. "We're done here, Ben." You clenched your jaw, silently readying yourself for some sort of explosion.

"How long, Y/N?!" Ben yelled. The way the whites of his eyes were basically screaming at you made you feel terrified. In this current moment, there was only one pair of arms that you wish you were being held in. The man in front of you backed you up to the door, and you could only stare at him, for your wand was foolishly placed inside the pockets of your robes hung in your bedroom. Tears burned in your eyes as the guilt you'd tucked away was finally waking up and holding your body hostage with it's incredibly heavy weight. "Did you fuck 'im? Is that why ya never slept wit'me for months? Because you were too ...busy being his fucktoy?" Ben slurred, his face red and lips wet with saliva from how he'd been shouting.

"Shut up!" You cried at Ben as the tears began to break free from you and run down your cheeks like melting diamonds. This was so not the way you wanted this to go. "Please, just stop!" You were sobbing at this point as his words pierced your heart, quickly reminding you of what Severus truly thought of you.

"Oh, fuck sake, stop with the cryin'," Ben growled, drunkenly shoving a hand into your shoulder, sending you barreling backwards and into the door. You winced slightly as the bone of your shoulder blade made contact with the metal bar on your door. "Whiny bitch, yer the one in the wrong, not me!" He grumbled with a heavy sigh, turning away from you.

"Shit, Ben-" You gasped as you leaned forwards and pushed yourself off of the door, however, a sharp and excruciating pain shot across your shoulder as you tried to move it. "What the hell were you thinking?!" You whined, stumbling to the countertops of your kitchenette to lean on it. Your shoulder was fucking killing you.

"Me? What was I fuckin' thinkin'?!" A sarcastic, manic laugh fell from his lips and immediately you regretted your choice of words. The man spun on his heel, and suddenly he donned a wand in his hand. Now, you were scared for your life. "You're one to talk... you know what... I'm going to have you fired... yeah... blacklisted. From every job in this fuckin' area! That'll teach you to be a whore!" Ben screamed the last word so loudly that you were sure every sleeping student and teacher heard it. Your jaw ticked, and you had to look away, your face painted an embarrassed shade of scarlet.

Your heart dropped at his words. No way was this happening.

"You can't do that." You whispered, tears still streaming from your eyes as you stared at the ground.

"I work at the Ministry, darlin', anything is possible."

"Fuck you."

"What did you just say t'me?"

"Fuck you!" You cried out hoarsely with one hand on your shoulder and the other gripping the countertop. An animalistic like growl fell from your ex-boyfriend as he stormed towards you, fury burning bright in his eyes. He raised his wand, and you squeezed your eyes shut, bracing yourself for some sort of spell to hit you.

"Stupefy!" A familiar voice commanded, the swish of a spell following it suit. Then, a loud thud.

Reluctantly, you opened your eyes to see Ben laying on the floor, unconscious in a pool of his own saliva. Your chest heaved with fear, and you were incredibly scared to look up to see who had come to your rescue. Frozen, you stood still in your place, though you could feel your knees beginning to buckle. Within seconds you were on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably, your lungs on fire from how harshly you were breathing. Merlin, you could've just died.

uh oh.. who saved her?

i'm sorry if you weren't tagged, i went through the majority of my notes and tried to find you all!! pls forgive me :( there was a lot due to my absence <3

taglist:

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@rye-flower

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btr-rewatch · 6 months

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Big Time Rush Season 1, Episode 1: "Big Time Audition" PART 1

Well, here we go! I'm super excited to be revisiting this show after so many years. I was so deep in the fandom back when the show was on, but it feels like going into it with a blank slate at this point. I have no idea what the fandom is like anymore and also forgot so many of the episodes. Ugh, I wish I could remember what my BTR blog from like 2011 used to be called (and if it even still exists; I might have deleted it). It'd be so cool to take a look at it.

I'm gonna try to just jump right in here. A few things first: I'll be pausing the episodes perodically as I watch in order to write up my posts on here, so it'll be a very "real-time" depiction of my experience, lol. Posts will also always be put under a "read more" on account of length.

Y'all the smile on my face at just the beginning few seconds of the episode. It brings me right back to 2009, watching the premiere with my sister. And I love how there's really no time wasted in making it loud and clear what each of the boys' roles are in the group and what their personalities are like.

Kendall's first line is literally a little motivational pep talk. He's trying to motivate them to do something that's going to get them into trouble, but still...it's in character. (btw, I will absolutely be focusing in on Kendall's character development—and my criticisms of it—as I move through the series)

Anyway, continuing on down the line: Logan counters Kendall's words with math, thus promptly labeling him as The Nerd of the group. Carlos jumps at the chance to cause some chaos (very Carlos. he was my favorite, btw) and James is just not paying attention to any of it. He's just standing there preening.

James is another one who changes a good deal from this first episode, I think. I mean, if I'm remembering correctly, he stays sort of self-absorbed and concerned with his looks, but not quite to THIS degree.

Also, the guys all work well together and fit, but I can't help but wonder how this group came together. It's such an oddball mixture of extreme personalities that you'd be hard-pressed to find in real life. In fact, if it were real life, they probably wouldn't be able to tolerate each other at all, let alone be friends. But that's the beauty of the show.

They do all eventually help Carlos turn the sprinklers on.

Troublemakers. Oh! And I spy plaid on Kendall. He wears plaid in like every episode, doesn't he? I remember that being a thing.

Logan's hair looks very dark. Was it dyed for this episode? I don't remember it being that dark.

I'm only ONE MINUTE into this episode. Yikes; these are going to be long posts, aren't they?

Yes, Carlos gives James the helmet right before they get pummeled by the mob of angry girls! Kendall knows James has to protect his face! Just a little over a minute in, and we have a leader of the group firmly established.

GUSTAVO AND KELLY!!!

I love him.

Meanwhile, the guys are nursing their injuries back at Kendall's house. It's so funny to me the way that Kendall seems to have the rest of them (mainly Carlos?) "trained" in a way? He tells Carlos to give James the helmet, and Carlos does do without hesitation. Then, when James starts dancing on the couch, all he has to do is say Carlos's name, and Carlos tackles James to the floor.

But when you've got a group of buddies like that, someone has to step up and take the reins, and that someone is Kendall Knight.

Look at these goofballs smiling as Carlos and James beat each other up.

The FLIP PHONES

Amazing. This show already kind of feels like a fun little time capsule.

I'd be remiss to not talk about this specific moment (when James and Carlos are throwing hands again) that I recall the fandom latching onto back in the day. As things start spiraling and glass starts flying, Logan simply calls Kendall's name, and Kendall immediately runs to Logan's side.

This is the point in which I probably start overanalyzing, but. Well, that's half the fun of this project, isn't it?

It speaks volumes about who Kendall is, what his role is in the group, and how the other three (especially Logan) look at him. Things are getting out of hand, and Logan is overwhelmed. So what does he do? Simply call for Kendall to take control and fix it. Because that's who Kendall is, right? He's Mr. Hold Everyone Together, Fix Everything All the Time, Carry the World on His Shoulders Guy.

I'll be delving more in that in future posts, I'm sure. Many thoughts.

Also, can we talk about how James and Carlos are just. Destroying Mrs. Knight's home?? Throwing things and about to hit each other with a lamp and a...whisk?? Is that what Carlos has? As a kid, I was like, "ahahaha, funny," but now I'm like, "I hope Mama Knight made those boys pay for every item they ever broke while in her house."

I was originally going to break this up into just 2 parts, but it's already pretty long, and I don't even know if anyone will read it, so I'm going to wrap it up right here for now. I'm sure once I get into the actual series, the posts will be shorter, but there's a lot of ground being laid in this episode, and I'm also still finding my footing on this blog.

Thanks to anyone who checks this out!

#big time rush #btr #btr rewatch #btr season 1 #kendall knight #james diamond #logan mitchell #carlos garcia

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negentropies · 5 months

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hate being a hardcore plotter with terminal writer brain because i can't even fucking like something without picking it apart like a rotisserie chicken carcass and trying to fix all the weird holes in the plot that won't let me sleep at night

so anyway, heres a bullet point essay on my thoughts on the bhaal plot bc it doesnt make any fucking sense and its been driving me insane and patch 5 was just the final nail in the coffin

so bhaal's motivations are . muddy. in the case of most durges, it seems he crafted durge as his most perfect champion, let them get a little bit of life experience, and then led them to the bhaal temple where they became its leader with the intent of ???? murdering lots of people and getting more followers ?? i guess ???? omnicide only really became a possibility after they hatched the elder brain plot with gortash, but they were very much already a cult leader by then. regardless, we establish that as of ~15 years before the start of bg3, bhaal wants to use the brain to murder everyone in the world. HOWEVER. if you just so happen to be an oathbreaker paladin durge and face sarevok and become an unholy assassin, you get this dialogue:

this suggests that bhaal's goal is to walk the planes again? which doesnt seem like it would have anything to do with omniciding the world, since gods get their power from the number and fervor of their worshipers. as i see it (ty moth) his goals seem to be as follows: expand his divine portfolio and worshiper base to obtain greater divine status -> reclaim his divinity and re-ascend to full godhood -> rebuild his church into something more coherent and structured -> walk the planes again -> fuck with bane and myrkul

if the absolute plot succeeds and durge takes control of the absolute in bhaal's name, i see no reason why he'd rid himself of a massive new worshiper base, since followers of an exarch (durge in this case) also count as followers of an exarch's god (bhaal). if anything, it would make more sense for bhaal to EXPECT the absolute plot to fail. this way he fucks with myrkul and bane and gets rid of their chosen as well as substantial chunks of their followers.

like yeah, sure, having the entire absolute cult under his control would be cool. it'd probably make him a powerful enough deity to get him out from under bane's yoke once and for all. but it's also worth noting that bhaal hates bane SO fucking much. bane poached his servant loviatar to take her as his consort and then there was the Gortash Situation, so that hatred could mean he'd lose sight of that power and make it so he'd be happy if the elder brain plot collapsed, as long as it meant he could make bane look stupid or undermine him in the process.

this brings me to the new patch 5 epilogue, which inspired me to write down my ramblings in the first place. if you either lose to orin in the duel or you embrace bhaal, then destroy the elder brain, you become this urge-crazed, twitching murderer good for nothing except crashing parties and siring more bhaalspawn. which like . doesn't make sense to me? it's outright stated that durge becomes nothing but a vessel for bhaal. bhaal has been established as extremely patient and more than capable of cooking up plots that could span centuries (see: baldur's gate 1 and 2), so i don't know why he wouldn't just use his newfound puppet bhaalspawn as a mortal avatar to restore his church and facilitate his return to power in a faerûn where myrkul (bane also, but less so) had to take a step back to recoup.

the characterization of bhaal and pre-lobotomy durge makes me a little confused in general. gortash frequently talks about how intelligent durge was and how their strength came in their intense self-control, and in the fact that bhaal let them pick their battles. going off of this, i expected durge to be kind of a stick in the mud compared to the other bhaalists, and we get SOME of that? there's a journal entry you can find from durge to orin where durge insults her for "posing [her] corpse-dollies" instead of just killing and being done with it. however, from the flashbacks and other conversations with the bhaalists we get, our vivisection-loving cannibalistic necrophiliac doesn't really have a leg to stand on here. it really seems like the larian writers had two separate, incongruous visions for durge and tried to mesh them together to limited success

now can we talk about sarevok. can we talk about sarevok? can we talk about how utterly batshit insane it is that fucking SAREVOK, who literally attempted to usurp bhaal to become the new lord of murder, would have gotten so much power and favor from his father? it's clear from durge's internal narration that they hate sarevok's guts. they straight up get inspiration for killing him. so... why did durge ever answer to him? why did bhaal let his perfect clone and champion into the hands of a son he hates and who tried to usurp him?

which all leads me to my conclusion that the baldur's gate temple of bhaal is, in fact, a heretical sect. and more importantly, that durge was led to it with the intent that after they'd exhausted the temple's use, they would off sarevok once and for all, gut the temple completely, and rebuild something new and worthy of their father from the ashes.

everyone at the bhaal temple is interested pretty much exclusively in the ritualistic aspects of murder, while in contrast, durge is (stated to be) more interested in efficiency and (apparently?) restoring their father to power and helping him walk the physical planes once more. again, this is all incongruous with other aspects of their characterization, but i'm going to chalk that up to messy writing. this would also track with durge being raised outside of the bhaal temple, ensuring that no matter what, bhaal would get to them before the temple did. sceleritas fel in particular is shown to be loyal to durge and bhaal exclusively, while not caring for orin or sarevok. the pieces are all here for a religious schism that just . never happens

so, if we pick up some of what larian is putting down and ignoring the rest, a possible version of events would be:

-> sarevok the attempted usurper establishes the temple of bhaal in baldur's gate as a niche, heretical sect focused exclusively on ritualistic murder, with no intention of expanding bhaal's portfolio beyond that

-> bhaal crafts durge, lets them form an identity outside the temple, then brings them in to lead, use, and subsequently destroy the baldur's gate bhaalists

-> durge and gortash hatch the elder brain plot. no matter if it succeeds or fails, bhaal will still win one way or another, whether it be getting a new legion of followers through his exarch or by crippling myrkul and sticking it to bane

-> orin (and probably sarevok) misunderstands bhaal's edicts, interpreting them as him wanting to use the brain to murder everyone in the world. orin fucks everything up when she lobotomizes durge but tbh, that still doesn't really matter. either she dies and bhaal gets rid of a heretical and unstable spawn or she becomes his puppet, just like durge should have in their bad ending

going off bhaal's characterization for the previous games, he is fundamentally a patient plotter with lots of foresight and also immense rizz. omnicide via elder brain is like . the stupidest scenario for him when there is so many other different ways to take this. where is bhaal sending in his perfect murder catholic spawn into a den of murder pagans !! where is the bhaalist religious schism !!!!!

thank u for coming to my ted talk

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #i guess #LARIAN !!!! LARIAN WHEN I CATCH YOU !!!!!!#.txt

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sadgefrog · 1 year

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what is established :

Walt - Skyler

Hank - Marie

Jane - Jesse

Kim - Jimmy

I PROPOSE ✋️

Holly - Flynn (BABY FLYNN OOAAUGGHHH!!)

Mike - Matt (even if we don't see him much ik? but i can't find anyone else for Mike. He was also a police officer so that helps on the skillset aspect)

Howard - Chuck (it will be a little hard to write since Howard and Kim aren't siblings so there's no...yk...pre-established innate rivalry)

Tuco - Lalo (Tuco is an absolute rageball and Lalo is a calculated and mischievous psycho. they're scary in different ways, so it could create smt interesting for the Tuco plot from s1-s2 - and extend it? )

Hector - Eladio (Hector becomes a little more relaxed, charismatic, sadistic and Eladio tenses up)

Gus - Max (now from what we know of Max i think it'd be interesting to see his personality because of his loss and wether he becomes as calculated and..gussy as Gus in the canon)

HECK YEA

TEENAGE HOLLY!!! that would be so cool omfg

matt for mike is indeed interesting, i was also thinking about stacey as mike (her motives would be driven by dead husband :0)

YEA howard as chuck, tuco - lalo and hector- eladio would slap hard.. so many ideas omg...

imagine max as main evil machiavellian antagonist heck yea

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hiraganasakura · 1 year

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Mantle evac asker again: thanks for a well-crafted response and apologies if I put you on the spot. TBH I'm not even sure Ironwood *needed* that semblance explanation for his unraveling (or a semblance *period;* a fair number of capable RWBY characters don't have one) with his pre-existing authoritarian tendencies and post-Beacon PTSD in play. Feel free to expand on Robyn if the mood hits, 'cause ye gods could watchers be giving her & the H-Huntresses a fairer shake.

Hi anon! Sry for the late reply, I've been busy

Yeah, true, the Semblance thing works to reinforce what we already understand. Honestly the primary reasons I wish it was talked about in-show is bcus the only reason we even know what his Semblance is is bcus the writers talked about it at some panel, and it could contribute another layer to Ironwood's character

According to the RWBY wiki's article on Mettle (link), apparently they wanted to explicitly state it in V7/V8, and had it in mind while writing Ironwood, but couldn't find a way to work the reveal in without damaging the flow of the show. I learned that just now and found it interesting

I just think it's cool to see negative aspects of Semblances tbh. They're meant to be the manifestation of a person's very soul and while they're usually shown in a positive light seeing the bad side of it is an interesting perspective. Like we see Qrow struggling with self-loathing (and the closely connected depression and alcoholism) due to Misfortune, in After the Fall/Before the Dawn Yatsuhashi fears his own Memory Wiping Semblance, etc. Seeing Ironwood have similar struggles I think would humanize him a bit while still not excusing his actions. It'd make him even more interesting imo. Does that make sense?

But now to the main point, yay, I get to talk about this! I only just had this realization as I was answering your previous ask

Ok so. Some ppl [nobody here] claim that Blake and Yang trusting Robyn with the info on Amity was "dumb" of them bcus they didn't know for certain if she was trustworthy at that point in time. Which, I can get why ppl may think that, but I respectfully disagree. I don't think "dumb" is the right word at all; in fact, I think the fact that Blake and Yang were even willing to try this shows a lot of how their characters have grown

Think about it: these two have rly bad trust issues

I mean, Blake was abused by Adam and faced harsh discrimination as a Faunus. In the early volumes of RWBY, she struggled to even trust her team for a while, hiding her cat ears under her little black bow until the truth came out completely on accident. And when she was finally able to trust them, the Fall of Beacon happened, her trauma with Adam came rearing its ugly head, and, blaming herself for Yang losing her arm, Blake left for Menagerie. (You can see in little details how high alert she is thru a lot of V4 and maybe even V5; off the top of my head, in the first V4 episode we see with her, when the captain of the ship to Menagerie approaches Blake, her immediate instinct is to reach for her weapon.) She didn't even trust herself for a very long time, and due to the horrible stuff she's seen, also had a hard time trusting other ppl

Then there's Yang, and gosh, she's been thru sm too. After she lost not one but two moms, her trust issues seem to manifest more in a fear of abandonment. Near the start of the show she was largely motivated by her search for Raven, hoping to understand why she left—but when she meets Raven in V5, she almost instantly sees thru most of Raven's lies. When Blake left after the Fall of Beacon, Yang had a harder time than the rest with it (see: the whole "Why isn't she here for me?" conversation she had with Weiss in V5), and even had a harder time accepting her return (the awkward air between them for the majority of V6 was palpable)

When Blake and Yang killed Adam and defeated some of their inner demons in the process, not only did they feel able to fully start trusting one another again, but I think it may have helped them to start trusting others, as well

Iirc Blake and Yang were talking about Adam right before they spoke to Robyn about Amity. Now I'm wondering, was that just a coincidence? Or was it a suble acknowledgement of their character development together?

Of course they didn't know whether Robyn could be trusted with that info, but the fact that they were willing to give it a shot demonstrates a lot. And I don't think it's stupidity, or naiveté. I think it is an amazing point in the development of Blake and Yang, a mark of their willingness to trust in the world again

And in hindsight, we can say it was a generally good choice. It was a little rocky at first, with the damage it caused to Ironwood's trust in RWBY. But for a wonderful fleeting moment, it led to James Ironwood and Robyn Hill (of all the ppl who could work together!), once diametrically opposed, standing in unity to help the ppl of Atlas and Mantle...

Well... Until the Black Queen arrived. But we covered that already

Also I totally agree with you that certain corners of the FNDM do the Happy Huntresses dirty. I mean, disagreeing with their methods from a political standpoint is whatever, but like... don't mix them up with the bad guys. They're rly not. They looked at the blantant inequalities between Atlas and Mantle, said "We won't stand for this", and started working for change. I'm pretty sure it was even said that they were all graduates of Atlas Academy that theoretically could have joined the military and done well in it—but they chose not to. Bcus they felt protecting Mantle was more important than upholding the Atlesian status quo. Bcus they too were hurt by the toxic culture of Atlas and decided to make it so that the ppl of the future didn't have the same struggles. (And honestly I think they made the right choice. Look what obeying the status quo did to the Ace Ops. Half of them are dead and the other half are super traumatized now, if they weren't already.) Good for the Happy Huntresses

Also briefly circling back to the Semblance conversation! I love Robyn's Semblance from the whole "manifestation of the soul" outlook bcus I think it fits her as a person so well. I mean, Lie Detection? For someone who is so unbending in her pursuit of the truth? For someone who will always stand up for what she believes in no matter the scorn she may receive? YES, I love it! And it even checks the boxes of having an additional layer of a setback: When empathizing with Qrow in V8, Robyn explains that having a Semblance that could detect lies led to it becoming difficult to make connections in her childhood bcus ppl were scared she would sniff out their secrets. Lie Detection is probably one of my favorite Semblances, despite its simplicity, purely from a storytelling pov

#original post #ask/answer #i don't think/talk about robyn enough but i love her dearly <3 #disclaimer: i may have gotten some little details wrong bcus i was going off the top of my head but i think i at least got my points across #hope you enjoyed me talking your ear off again #and ty for letting me ramble i've had so much fun lol #rwby #james ironwood #robyn hill #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #ask to tag

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itsgettingcrazieroutthere · 3 years

Text

Okay, I'm completely into Community because of one (1) Abed Nadir and just saw a fic that had both Abed and Janet (The Good Place), and BOOM.

Oh. My. God.

The Good Place AU that nobody asked, but I just got completely obsessed with.

Annie as Tahani. And maybe Shirley as Tahanni too. Both think they were, respectively, a great student and a great christian and, therefore, deserve to be in heaven. But Annie's competitive and selfish and Shirley's an hipocrite and passive-agressive, so their good deeds don't matter, because they didn't mean it and they made life hell to people around them.

Jeff as Eleanor. I think that's self-explanatory. Jeff knows he doesn't deserve to be in the Good Place, he was a swindler: forged his diploma, acted as an lawyer for the rich and the bad guys for money, didn't have any friends and didn't care for anyone but himself.

Troy as Jason, of course. He is not stupid, what good did he do to deserve to be in the Good Place? He faked an injury to run away of his problems, he is irresponsible, some people might say he is childish (he's not, thank you very much). In high school, he was a bully, didn't care about anything but parties and is a closeted nerd (who is ashamed of being a nerd, so he beats them up to make himself feel better about it). The one thing he isn't is a monk, though. He is definitely not a monk that practices the vow of silence, so he probably shouldn't be in the Good Place. But he is CERTAINLY not fond of going to the Bad Place, especially not once he finds the best friend he could ever have in the Good Pace.

I think Britta would be Tahani too, actually: she is an activist that doesn't vote, a rebel without a cause. She is always talking about the time she helped a homeless guy, but hides the fact that she actually just gave him 25 cents and ONLY because she saw an ex-boyfriend leaving the store across the street. She can forgive racism, but draws a line at animal abuse, and so many other things. Just like Annie and Shirley, her motivations weren't in the right place. Also, she is the worst.

Abed is Chidi and you can't change my mind. He isn't a bad person. He isn't, okay? He is just too sincere sometimes. Too smart, doesn't know how to express and read emotions, maybe a little bit too direct. One could even say that he could drive everyone a little bit crazy when he did homages of series and movies, or when he went full meta and treated life as a movie. Maybe he made people cry once or twice when he got a little bit too honest, you know? There was even this one professor that went crazy because he thought Abed was too spoiled (that professor is in the Good Place too, because he was disrespectful and full of shit, completely intolerant and ignorant of Abed's autism, by the way). But, if you ask Abed, he would say he is adorable, so everything is cool. Cool, cool, cool. The thing is, Abed may not be the greatest expert in human mind, but he is an expert in television and cinema, so he gets by. And, honestly, if you were to choose ANYONE from the study group, he is the innocent one, the one that could teach them how to deserve to be in the Good Place.

Frankie as Janet? Frankie as Janet. Frankie is a problem solver. She is cool, she solves problems. Maybe, just maybe, she can be a little bit snob, but she knows EVERYTHING, so she also has the right to be a little snob, actually. Also, as she gets to know and befriends the group, she gets more and more human, and she loves them more and more.

I thought about the Dean as Michael, but I didn't really buy it. Maybe, we can make it different this time: the Dean as a Michael that thinks the "Good Place" is actually the Good Place. He thinks he was good, so he got promoted, from devil to angel and his (Community College?) "Good Place" is legit. The one running the experiment is the City College Dean, somewhat like Shawn, but they are not partners, I think.

Chang as Vicky? Actor, self-centered, a bit of an idiot and always ready to try and carry out a coup d'etat. He is a betrayer, that's what he does. But he gets to know the study group and grows to like them, so he always comes back to them and is ready to do crazy shit for them (even if he still back-stabs them once or twice, but it's not serious, okay?)

Elroy is a second Janet, okay? Calm, patient, he is somebody that also tries to solve problems, even if he's not half as efficient as Frankie. But the Dean leaves him to deal with white people, because he's a compulsive "white-people complimenter" (I don't think this is a word, but you get what I mean).

White people like Pierce, who is a piece of trash that thinks he is the best person ever. Racist, homophobic, sexist and a certified idiot. I can't think of a character equivalent in the Good Place, so Pierce will be another person that is "in the wrong place", but he never realized that. Not a single time in the 109.857 times the group realized they were in the Bad Place actually. Also, in most of those times, he was one of the reasons why the others realized they were in the Bad Place: if the Good Place let people like Pierce enter, well... Would they meet Trump there too? It didn't make sense.

If I ever do write this, it'd be Jabed or Trobed, because Abed is my baby (and I hate Jeff/Annie), and of course I'd make him the main main character.

That's it, folks, thanks for coming to my ted talk! (For now hehehe)

#the good place au #community #abed nadir #troy barnes #jeff winger #shirley bennett #annie edison #pierce hawthorne #britta perry #ben chang #craig pelton #frankie dart #elroy patashnik #gifs not mine #my fics #my aus

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ambivalent-anarchy · 3 years

Text

Body

Part 1 of 2

Part 2

Masterlist

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Warning: None

Anon requested- can I get a one shot where the reader does the body positivity trend with the new megan thee stallion song and the reader is insecure about how ppl will react to it?? Most importantly how peter will react to it?? K thanks

Awww I love doing smol readers and where Peter's actually the one that has it together lol sooo thanx for this

The TikTok is that new body positivity trend with that Megan Thee Stallion song. Couldn't link it because tumblr acts weird about links but part 2 will have a video for Peter. Also reader will be 18 (senior in high school) cuz some people think minors shouldn't participate in the trend lol

A/N: Either a motivation fairy hit me in the middle of the night or I'm really just that bored to the point where I had no choice but to get my motivation to write back. Either way I'm happy lol. Enjoy! Thanks to @yumings and @kelieah for helping me feel confident in this lol

Will definitely be a two parter🙂

---------------------------------------

Body oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy-

You'd finally finished editing the video.

It was a simple, short collage of all of your favorite selfies and pictures that showed off your body well. There was a new trend going around on TikTok and when you saw it you just had to jump at it headfirst.

People would take their favorite pictures of themselves, ones that showed off their bodies just the way they liked, and they'd put it to the sound of Megan Thee Stallion's song "Body".

You looked through your entire phone gallery to find pictures that you were confident enough to post, some you'd forgotten you even took in the first place.

When you were done, you threw in the simple caption that everyone was using.

Heard we're using this sound to show off. My turn then😜

Yeahhhhhh, the caption sounded much more confident than you actually felt.

You actually thought about deleting it from the minute you posted it. Insecure wasn't even the word for it. And even with your followers there to hype you up, you couldn't help but feel self-conscious. So, albeit hesitantly, you went to your friends for support.

The first person you showed was Michelle.

"You killed that," she said in math class as she passed you the phone underneath the table so that the professor wouldn't see.

"Thanks," you said. "I was honestly kinda nervous about it." You noticed her incredulous look and explained yourself, toying with the loose strings on your jacket. "Like seriously, I don't wanna fish for compliments, it's just that there are so many better ones out there."

Michelle gave a lopsided grin. "That's just you being insecure, you dork," she retorted. "You look hot." She gave an uninterested glare at the teacher when they told her to be quiet. Then she turned towards you with a smile. "You shown Peter yet? I bet he'd agree."

You shifted in your seat nervously and MJ immediately caught on. "What, you don't wanna show him?" She gave you a look when you took a while to answer. "Dude he's literally your boyfriend. I'm pretty sure he'll like it."

"MJ, we haven't even-" you looked around secretively. "-we haven't even taken our shirts off in front of each other yet. There's literally a pic of me in my sports bra and I.." You shrugged, a little embarrassed by the conversation topic. "I-i just don't know how he'd react."

You and Peter were a fairly new couple and were taking it slow. You'd only ever kissed, cuddled, and held hands so far. Plus, you were a major causal clothes wearer. Sweatshirts and jeans, those were your specialty. The two of you were in no rush and you were both fine with that, but you had no idea how he would react to seeing pictures of you like that.

And, though it wasn't the most feminist approach, you kinda wanted to impress him. Was that so bad?

MJ, forever the voice of patronizing reason, rolled her eyes at you. "So, let me get this straight. You're not fine with your boyfriend seeing sexy pictures of you, but you're okay with literal strangers seeing you instead?"

"Look, I know it's-"

"No, no I totally get it," she said with a sympathetic smirk, before laughing. "I just wanted to show you how dumb it sounded though."

The bell rang, signaling the end of class.

"Look," she said, standing up and getting her things. "You have nothing to be worried about. Peter practically worships the ground you walk on. He'll love it."

When you showed Ned, he genuinely didn't give a shit.

"Oh my God, there's a new Megan Thee Stallion album?!"

"Uh, yeah."

"I have to listen to it right now!"

"Yeah okay, but do you like the-"

He was already plugging in his headphones before you even finished your sentence.

You showed Harry next. If anyone was gonna rate you unabashedly, it'd definitely be him.

He was the only friend you had in your lunch period, so you met up with him every day. Towards the end of lunch that day, you'll pulled out your phone and asked if he wanted to see the video. He enthusiastically agreed.

He watched the short video with an amused expression, bopping his head to the music all the while.

When it ended, he handed you your phone back and gave you a high-five. "Damn girl!," he praised. "Just throwing it out there, if Peter fails you, I'm hella available."

"Heh, thanks." You smiled as you felt your entire face heat up. "Ya think he'll like it?"

"What, you haven't shown him yet?" You shook her head, giving a nervous smile. "Oh-" he nodded confidently. "-he'll love it. Trust me."

"Are you sure?," you asked.

"Yeah," he responded with a shrug. "Why are you so worried?"

"Because he's not-..he doesn't really seem-" You couldn't find the right words for it. "I dunno, I just really want him to like it!"

Harry scoffed. "Look. Let me tell you a little secret about Peter Parker," he snickered. "Or practically all guys for that matter."

"Okay?," you said, curious as to where this was going.

He smirked. "You remember when he introduced himself to you at my party last summer?"

You nodded.

"Well, hon..." Harry lowered his head to where he was whispering in your ear. "Your personality wasn't what he was noticing from across the room.. catch my drift?" He chuckled when he saw you blushing as you caught where his eyes had wandered. "Just sayin'."

Seeing your incredulous expression, Harry continued. "Peter likes to act like he's not checking you out every second of the day, but I promise you he is. That little "I'm so respectful and bashful" crap he has going is complete B.S."

You smirked and rolled your eyes as he pulled away from your ear and kept walking. "You're an ass."

Harry shrugged. "True, but I'm a realistic ass." The alarm on his phone sounded which marked his time to start heading to his next class. Standing up, he smiled down at you. "Seriously, if I could take back all the time spent listening to Pete go on about how good you look in your jeans, I'd be one well rested guy."

You rolled your eyes, but it betrayed the small smile growing. After all, he wouldn't be Harry if he wasn't a flirtatious dweeb. "Bye Harry."

"Show him the video, [Y/N]. He'll love it. You know I'm right."

And then there was one...

Later in the day, you were talking with MJ after school, waiting because Peter always insisted on driving you home because chivalry was not going to die as long as he was alive to keep it going.

When he finally showed up, the first thing he did was take you by the hand and give you a quick peck on the forehead.

"How are you guys doing?," he asked as your little trio started to walk.

"We're good," you chirped, ever so conscious of the phone in your pocket that you were suddenly very hesitant to pull out.

MJ noticed and nudged you. "You got anything you wanna show anybody, [Y/N]?," she asked with a smirk, causing Peter to look at you curiously.

You stayed quiet, but MJ still wasn't putting up with it. "I think you may have a video that you made..."

You remained silent and Peter looked at you, a lot more confused now. MJ frowned. "Um... cough.. cough."

Peter laughed and stopped walking. "Okay, what am I missing?" He looked to you and when he didn't see your expression falter, he looked to MJ. "What's going on?"

Michelle shrugged. "[Y/N] wants to show you a dumb TikTok she made but she's scared about how you'll react."

"Michelle!," you scolded.

She shrugged again. "What? You weren't going to say anything anytime soon."

"A TikTok?," Peter questioned. "Cool, which one did you do this time?"

You could feel your face heat up for the hundredth time that day. "It's a...um.." You stared down at the ground. Jesus, this was hard. "..It's a body positivity trend."

His eyebrows went up at that. "Oh, well um.. is it cool if I see it?," he asked.

You blushed. "Sure." You pulled out your phone and opened the app. When you got to the video you quickly shoved it into his face before you had a chance to second-guess yourself.

Both you and Michelle watched Peter's face as he watched the video.

His cheeks immediately turned red but his expression was unreadable. He had to have watched it over 5 times before MJ pulled the phone out of his hand. "Helloooo, earth to Peter Parker?"

She snapped into his face several times and he started to blink wildly, apparently being pulled out of a trance. "I...um- heh.."

You gave a small, nervous smile. "..did you like it?," you asked, growing confused as stared at you, his expression still the same. "Um, Peter?"

Suddenly, he smiled and let out a little chuckle. "Sorry... just..." He laughed again and scratched his head, unable to keep eye contact. "You're just- like.... really hot."

You blushed. Fuck. "You're not just saying that are you?"

"No, really like-" He looked back at the phone. "...Damn." He bit his lip. "How on earth did I get so lucky?"

"Okay, can we please get in the car before I throw up?"

The two of you looked at an uncomfortable MJ with embarrassment riddled on your faces. "Yeah, totally," you said with an awkward cough. "Sorry."

"Nice video [Y/N]," Peter murmured bashfully, opening the door of his car for you, his face still beet red. "Really nice..."

Tagging: @allegra-writes, @allegra-soleil l, @yumings, @hey-its-grey, @spideyyeet, @sunkissedspidey, @tommyunderoos, @chaoticpete, @snarky--starky, @sovereignparker, @thesherlockianavenger, @bubblebucky, @eridanuswave, @ithoughtthiswastwitterbutfr , @kidney9-9, @gwenvrse

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