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Big Time Rush Season 1, Episode 14: “Big Time Dance”

Highlights: Lots of weirdness happening as the guys set up the first annual Palm Woods School Dance. Also, the first appearance of our friend Fabio!

It's the end of the year, and finals week is wrapping up at the Palm Woods School. After announcing the upcoming, notoriously boring class party, BTR suggests that they have a dance. A real one, with music and dates and NOT Bitters making awful balloon animals. Mrs. Collins agrees, but there are a few small obstacles to overcome first, such as the fact that they need to find chaperones, come up with a theme and decorations, get food, and find a place to hold the dance by that night. Oh, and there's no money available to spend on it.

The boys will find a way to pull it off, though.

Btw, this classroom is absolutely ridiculous. Those desks are packed together so tightly that I'm almost certain it's against both room occupancy regulations and fire code.

Look at that tiny sliver of space between Kendall's and James's desks. If there was an emergency, none of these kids would be able to promptly and safely evacuate without stumbling over desks and backpacks. They'd probably end up trampling each other. So many violations happening in this room. There's no way this classroom setup is legal.

After school ends, the guys get to work planning the dance. Jo is happy when she spots Kendall approaching, as she naturally assumes that he's going to ask her to be his date. Though, if you recall "Big Time Party," you know that his approach to inviting Jo in that episode involved asking her to be his, "guest, friend, person-thing." Quite frankly, Jo's hopes shouldn't be so high.

Somehow, Kendall manages to do an even worse job this time around and simply tells Jo to get snacks and sodas for the dance. Jo's reaction is understandable.

She's trying so hard to remember why she has a crush on this guy.

After being told by Bitters that they can't have the dance at the Palm Woods, Logan does some quick research and finds them a great deal at a warehouse in L.A.'s "Murder District." (they decide to pass on this deal)

Surprisingly, Gustavo says they can have the dance at Rocque Records under the condition that they perform at it. They agree, then run off to find dates. Well, James, Carlos, and Logan do. Kendall tries to be responsible and wants to find chaperones. Carlos strikes out with each of the Jennifers, then heads to the park to ask any other girls he can find. James decides to help Logan ask out Camille.

He also mentions that Camille's a good choice because she isn't his (James's) type, and can I just say that I kind of disagree with that? In fact, Camille might be the most compatible girl for James in terms of the recurring female characters we see on the show. She's just as high-maintenance, emotional, and passionate as he is, and I think they could have had an interesting relationship.

Or maybe they're too much alike and would have ended up killing each other. Idk.

Logan musters up every ounce of confidence he has within him and manages to do this

Commendable attempt, Logie.

Over in 2J, Mrs. Knight agrees to chaperone the dance, then loses her cool and promptly flees the scene when Katie suggests she should find a date to bring. Kendall asks when the last time was that their mother went on a date, and Katie says when she was three.

Not gonna delve TOO deeply into the Knight family headcanons, but for Mama Knight to have been in the dating world when Katie was that young, it means Mr. Knight had been out of the picture for quite some time already. Probably just after (or even a little before) Katie was born?

Meanwhile, Carlos is at the park, looking at girls through binoculars like a weirdo.

The Jennifers approach and tell him that they want to be his date to the dance. Except they don't want him to go as himself. Instead, they've all prepared alternate personalities that he must embody and rotate through during the night. Very normal behavior.

Gonna skim over some stuff because this episode has so many different storylines going on at once, but basically: Carlos is roped into being three difference people at the dance, James keeps inadvertently inviting random girls to be his date while trying to help Logan, and Logan manages to ask Camille out with the aid of cue cards, but she turns him down because she doesn't want his invitation to be coached.

Additionally, Kendall and Katie are struggling to find their mom a date. After almost setting her up with Bitters and bombarding her with a plethora of attention from a horde of handsome doctors, she tells them she'll only go on a date with the man who is on the cover of one of her romance novels. Of course, she does this assuming it'll be an impossible task for them, but nothing is impossible for Kendall and Katie.

They're adorable and I love them so much

They head down to the lobby to use the computer to track down Fabio (Kendall doesn't have his own laptop??) and I can't get over the way Kendall just shoves the guy already seated at the computer out of the way.

This is some First Episode Kendall behavior, honestly.

They manage to get in touch with Fabio, hold him hostage in the bathroom, and convince him to go out with their mom. Kendall also fumbles another opportunity to ask Jo to the dance, and Logan faces several other failures trying to ask Camille.

We go the dance later that night, where Carlos quickly crumbles under the pressure of being three different guys and ends up with Stephanie. I always really liked her btw, and I wish she would have stayed on the show as Carlos's long-term girlfriend. They were cute together.

Logan finally finds success in asking Camille to be his date.

Kendall finds Jo and asks her to dance, but Jo is still upset at the fact that Kendall never actually invited her to be his date. Kendall replies that he didn't ask because he just assumed they were already together. It's sweet, but I think these two need to work on their communication skills.

The guys perform "Stuck" (great song), James gets chased by the angry mob of girls he accidentally asked out over the course of the day, and we close the episode with everyone having fun on the dance floor.

Cannot believe so many shenanigans unfolded over the course of just a handful of hours. I wonder if time doesn't progress in the same way in the BTR universe as it does in the Real World. I mean, as it is, their world is barely governed by the same rules and basic scientific principles as our own is. Impossible scenarios are just everyday occurances to them, and absolutely absurd happenings don't even make them blink.

Honestly, the world of BTR is a scary one. Gustavo's marketing team shock-tests people for research. Sexist coffee makers try to murder you with foam. Doctor Hollywood is out there actually giving people medical advice. Children are packed in school rooms like sardines, with no hope of escape if a fiery inferno consumes the building.

Well...anyway! Silly episode! See you next time :)

#big time rush #btr #kendall knight #carlos garcia #james diamond #logan mitchell #btr rewatch #btr season 1

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the boys in a theme park line…

carlos: immediately attempts to start up a group game (i spy, heads up, concentration, etc) but ends up getting distracted in the queue decorations

logan: infodumping on the ride, it’s lore, history, construction, and mechanics of it all

kendall: insists the estimated 90 minute wait is justifiable for the ride but changes his mind 15 minutes in; seeks every available opportunity to do anything but just stand there

james: making friends with the groups in front and behind them, especially if they’re of similar age groups. simultaneously insists that he shouldn’t even be waiting in a line because he’s famous.

#big time rush #btr #james diamond #kendall knight #logan mitchell #carlos garcia #you're so right

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Thinking about that period of time in the BTR fandom where there was that bizarre and persistent belief among fans that Logan was Lebanese. Like. It was very pervasive for quite some time. He was nicknamed "The Lebanese Tease" and it was kind of everywhere. And it wasn't even a joke! People insisted and believed wholeheartedly somehow that Logan was Lebanese, and they were oddly obsessed with this "fact."

Then Logan went on some interview and had to address it because it had become such a thing, and he was like, "I'm not Lebanese at all, lol, why are you guys doing this." And it was just one of those weird things where no one knew where it originated from, but the fans took it and ran with it and gave him a whole nickname and made picture edits of him with "THE LEBANESE TEASE" on it in sparkly font or whatever until Logan himself had to set people straight. Hilarious.

#big time rush #miscellaneous thoughts

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mood.

#big time rush #btr #btr gifsets #gustavo rocque #btr season 1

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Big Time Rush Season 1, Episode 12: “Big Time Terror”

I've been looking forward to this one since I decided to start doing this rewatch. SHOT IN THE DARK!! Let's gooooo!!!! *tosses confetti into the air*

Highlights: Ghost hunting, ginormous bowls of oatmeal, and the best song ever written in the history of ever.

It's a beautiful night at the Palm Woods, and BTR and many of the Palm Woods residents are gathered around the fire, hanging out and having a grand ol' time. The guys are singing "Stuck," which is a song I'd probably rank among my favorites.

Their fun time is interrupted suddenly by a strange sound. As everyone turns to look, they see that a small table is moving along the patio all by itself. The boys look on in confusion and fear, with Carlos and Logan immediately gravitating toward Kendall for protection, which certainly gives me feelings. I love them. I love that the reaction is instinctual and says so much about who Kendall is and how the other guys see him. The Protector. The one who will shield them from harm. Kendall is a source of safety.

After returning to their apartment, Logan, ever the logical one, explains to Carlos that it wasn't a ghost but the air conditioner causing a backdraft that shut the doors. He doesn't have an explanation for the moving table, though. Carlos insists it was a ghost.

There's a knock on the door, which startles everyone but Kendall, and he explains to his scaredy-cat friends, "there is nothing terrifying behind this door." And who's behind the door? Gustavo! He tells the guys that his mansion is flooded, and he has to stay with them tonight.

They're not particularly thrilled about a sleepover with Gustavo, but Mama Knight tells the guys that they should let him stay the night because "Doing nice things for people who aren't so nice is nice."

We go to the lobby oh-so-briefly then to see Bitters and the Palm Woods residents all running frantically from something. We don't see a ghost, but there is mysterious wind and spooky green lights.

Up in 2J, everyone is seated around the table for dinner. It's Fish Stick Friday (with tots)! After some initial skepticism, Gustavo discovers the fish sticks aren't so bad, and he asks what else the guys do on Fridays, which leads into a montage of their evening. Gustavo has a blast. The guys...do not.

But the award for Not Having a Good Time goes to Logan, who gets SAT ON by Gustavo for HALF AN HOUR.

Cannot even begin to put together a theory on how this managed to happen.

The boys are all relieved when it's finally time for bed, but they quickly realize they aren't going to get much sleep with Gustavo's snoring practically shaking the whole apartment. Carlos has an idea for how to fix the problem, though.

Carlos's expression kills me. Look at him. Jaw set and that look of firm determination in his eyes. Carlos has a roll of duct tape, and he isn't afraid to use it. He will silence the big, snoring man. I don't know if we've ever seen him look so serious and angry before??

Also, I just have to point out that First Episode Kendall absolutely would've been on board with this plan. He probably would've grabbed the tape and done it himself. Maybe even gone a little further and taped Gustavo to the couch just for extra fun.

They trudge down to the lobby to sleep there but are scared off by the Palm Woods Ghost, who shuts off the lights, breaks a vase, stacks the furniture, and slams the doors. They run back to the apartment and are greeted by the image of Gustavo scratching his butt.

THE BOYS ARE HAVING THE WORST NIGHT EVER

The following morning, everyone wastes no time in handing Gustavo his stuff and all but kicking him out the door. They're all like:

But Gustavo isn't so eager to leave. Instead, he decides to join Kendall and James for a fun afternoon by the pool.

Listen. I love Gustavo, ok? Especially in these scenes, where he's just a loveable teddy bear of a guy wanting to hang out with his buddies. He is having SO MUCH FUN with them and is SO OBLIVIOUS that they're not having fun. No awareness at all.

Meanwhile, Logan and Carlos are having their own little adventure conducting paranormal research in the lobby. Carlos is convinced they're going to catch evidence of a ghost. Logan is convinced Carlos is just an idiot.

So far in the series, any time Logan and Carlos are paired together, all they do is bicker. But it makes sense, given that Logan is the smartest of the group and Carlos is...probably last in that particular ranking. Which is NOT to say that Carlos isn't intelligent in his own way, because he certainly is, but he doesn't have the same type of intelligence as Logan. Carlos is just innocent. Child-like. And we love him for it, but it sure does put him in a good position to clash with Logan over everything, doesn't it?

After setting up the camera and taking some time to smack each other around, Carlos, Logan, (and Bitters) catch sight of a ghostly green figure going through the lobby. They all take off running.

We skip ahead to the next day, where Gustavo's reign of terror over apartment 2J continues. He's not even trying to return to his mansion. In fact, he moves a lot of his things, including his bed, into 2J.

Also, everyone is eating the most ridiculously big bowls of oatmeal I've ever seen.

Look at James's bowl. That's like oatmeal for three or four people. And I know, I know, they needed to have a big bowl in order for Gustavo to be able to push James's face into it but come on. That's the most oatmeal I've ever seen in a single bowl.

After hearing that Gustavo will likely be staying several more days, Kendall pulls James out into the hallway to tell him that they need to handle this like men. Immediate cut to them begging and pleading to Kelly for help.

Kelly is confused because she had told Gustavo the previous night that he could return to his mansion. She reveals to the guys that Gustavo didn't really have a chance to live a typical childhood and play with other kids. Which is, um, really sad and something that should've been explored more!! She tells Kendall and James to figure everything out and flees the Palm Woods. Kelly wants no part in dealing with this lol.

The "Get Gustavo out of the Palm Woods" plot takes a backseat then as BTR focuses their energy on defeating the ghost. Armed with vacuum cleaners and goggles, they engage in a Scooby-Doo-style chase around the lobby.

Finally, they catch the ghost and reveal that it's not a real ghost at all. It's the new girl, Stephanie King!

She's making a horror movie and has been using the Palm Woods residents as her cast. She asks them not to tell on her, which Kendall agrees to under one condition.

We cut to 2J, where a peacefully sleeping Gustavo is woken up by Stephanie's ghost "floating" by his bed. Armed with a fan, projector light, fog machine, and a microphone, the guys manage to send Gustavo running from the apartment in terror.

The following scene is. The scene is—it's...

IT'S SHOT IN THE DARK!!! WOOOOO!!!

"Shot in the Dark" is by far my favorite BTR song, and I loved it so so much when I first heard it in this episode. You can imagine my yearning all these years to get an official version of it. Apparently, a full-ish demo version was released on youtube like...10 years ago?? I had no clue there was ANY full version until the guys released it in November. So, all this time, the only version of it I've known has been the one from this episode. Just about fainted when I checked Spotify and saw "Shot in the Dark" on there.

And I do have ✨thoughts✨about the song, but I might put them into a separate post. It's such a good song.

We end the episode at the pool, where everyone is once again sent running in fear from another moving table. This time, it's the work of Katie, who has discovered Fun With Fishing Line. The end.

Fantastic episode. This one would rank pretty high on my list of favorites. Both plots are great, and I like the way they merge at the end to wrap everything up. [phone] bonus points for having "Shot in the Dark" in it. However, I do think there was a missed opportunity to include a heart-to-heart type scene between the boys and Gustavo. The guy had a lonely, isolated childhood and just wants a sense of connection with his dogs! He wants friends and to run around with reckless abandon playing "tag and seek" and an altered version of Marco Polo using dodgeballs! I wish the boys could have taken more time to acknowledge the whole situation and reached out in some way to Gustavo instead of scaring him away with a ghost. That would have been some nice relationship development.

#big time rush #btr #kendall knight #carlos garcia #james diamond #logan mitchell #btr season 1 #btr rewatch

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Hi, I just wanna write you to say that I love that you make these BTR reviews with your own take on the episode. Since the real band is back I have a bigger brainrot for this show and is hard to find new content about it. So thank you for doing that and hope your doing for a longer time (if you feel like it of course ;D)

Have a nice day; evening; night

💛💛💜💜

Hi! Thanks for this message :) I'm having a lot of fun doing the episode posts. (need to get back to posting them. I've been busy, so they've kind of fallen to the wayside temporarily)

So true that it's hard to find new content. I miss the days when the BTR tumblr fandom was huge, and there were tons of active blogs and new fics being posted all the time. I'm happy to help contribute my part to the fandom, though.

I plan on continuing to make gifsets and posts for a while. I'd like to get through the whole series! You have a nice day, too!

#asks #miscellaneous thoughts

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#big time rush #btr #kendall knight #carlos garcia #james diamond #logan mitchell #btr gifsets #btr season 1

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Big Time Rush 01x09 "Big Time Demos"

#big time rush #btr #kendall knight #james diamond #carlos garcia #logan mitchell #btr season 1 #btr gifsets #empty heads. all of them #i included this in my episode post but I love it so much that I had to post the gifset separately

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Big Time Rush Season 1, Episode 11: “Big Time Jobs”

I remember this one being one of my favorite episodes. Excited to rewatch it!

Highlights: The boys set out to make some dough. Also: Mirror Realm Alter Egos, the worst sign-spinners on the planet, and sentient coffee makers.

We begin with the guys preparing for the "Palm Woods 500 Invitational All-Terrain Decathlon Classic." The first one to run around the building and ring the bell at the front desk wins a large homemade trophy made of boxes covered with shiny wrapping paper with a colander on top. Very fancy.

Also, Kendall doesn't pronounce "decathlon" correctly. He says "discathlon," which, as far as I've been able to tell from briefly looking it up, isn't a real word. I mean, it's something you could chalk up to in-universe as a term the boys made up on their own, but this is probably just Kendall Schmidt flubbing the line.

The race goes about as well as you'd expect.

Carlos is declared the winner!

An enraged Bitters then tells the boys that they have to pay for all the damage they've caused, which amounts to $2,000 (and 30¢). Gustavo is NOT happy that his dogs have gotten themselves into so much trouble. He's sick of them breaking things, which leads us into a montage of some of the things around the studio they've broken in the last several months. Shout out to my favorite part of the montage:

Because like...why. Why is James singing a taunting song about having a smoothie? Why does this make Kendall so upset that he feels the need to smack it straight outta James's hand? There's missing context here. James and Kendall were definitely just not getting along that day, and this was the final straw.

Anyway, Gustavo tells them that they have to pay him his $2,000 back, and until they do, they're not allowed in the Palm Woods pool. In order to come up with $500 each, they're going to need to get jobs. This is horrifying news to our boys.

Carlos gets stuck being Gustavo's production assistant, and James Kendall, and Logan return to the Palm Woods to do some job searching. After reading through a listing of horrible jobs, Kendall and Logan set out to become sign spinners, and James finds an ad for "the new face of Cuda." Obviously, he thinks this is the perfect job for him.

This leads into that bizarre but delightful scene where he talks to himself in the mirror, but it's like...some sort of alter-ego with a slightly deeper voice??

Mirror James: "Look at yourself! Who's handsomer than you?"

James: "No one!"

Mirror James: "Who's got more style than you?"

James: "No one!"

Mirror James: "Who's smarter than you?"

James: "Well, lots of people. But that has nothing to do with being a model."

I mean...he's right. What a himbo. Katie appoints herself as James's manager, and the two of them set out to take the fashion world by storm.

Meanwhile, at Kendall and Logan's sign-spinning job:

Yeah, they get fired pretty quickly. Also, can I point out that one of my first thoughts upon watching the above moment was how close they came to possibly being hit by cars?? If either one of them had fallen to the street instead, they would have died. And it would have been in the stupidest way possible. Cause of death? SIGN SPINNING.

And we're not even too far into this episode yet, but I'm enjoying this Kendall and Logan storyline. I don't think there have been many moments thus far in the series where it's just been the two of them paired up ("Big Time Crib" is the only one that comes to mind), and I like seeing them teamed up for some shenanigans. I've always had a soft spot for the Kendall and Logan dynamic, especially when it comes to Kendall's ability to help Logan let loose. I feel like...Logan feels the most secure with Kendall? Which makes sense because Kendall is the leader, but still. It's nice to see Logan come out of his shell a bit, and seeing him act all goofy and over the top with Kendall as they (horribly) spin those signs is one of those moments.

Onto Carlos's story! He's been told to get a coffee for Gustavo, and can I just say how much I love the "Carlos does battle with a coffee maker" plot? This boy is given such a simple task: get coffee, and this machine proceeds to make his life miserable for the rest of the episode.

I'm not sure how many people currently in the fandom were also on Tumblr back when the series was on, but there was this popular BTR blog that consisted of posting beautiful, aesthetic pictures with ridiculous quotes from the show on them. That was the whole blog, and the fandom loved it. There are two specific ones I remember, and I've recreated them here so those who didn't get the original experience can see what I'm talking about.

The BTR fandom sure was something. Wish I could remember what the blog was called (though I'm not sure it'd even still be up).

While Carlos fights for his life at Rocque Records, Kendall and Logan return to 2J to try to find new jobs. After reading off a series of ridiculous options, Kendall has his own idea

Before Kendall can drag Logan off to the nearest hospital to have their kidney's extracted, there's a knock at the door. A woman has come to ask if Mrs. Knight is home and can watch her son, and Kendall agrees to do it (she'll pay them $20 an hour). This gives the guys the idea to offer a babysitting service in order to earn the money they need. They quickly have lots of eager parents lined up to take advantage of their convenient service.

Over at James's modeling job, he quickly realizes that he ain't the only pretty face in town.

They have a brief "face-off," but James is no match for all the handsome in the room, and he just like. Passes out.

Over at Kendall and Logan Babysitting Services Incorporated, things quickly fall apart. Unable to handle the energy of eight kids, Kendall and Logan end up tied to chairs. Mama Knight comes to rescue them, but she quickly flees the premises after.

We return to Carlos for a moment to check on how he's doing, which is Not Well. The room is being filled with foam, and unplugging the coffee maker does nothing since it has a "reserve power" mode. Carlos also causes it to activate its "self-defense" mode when he smacks it several times.

Down at the Palm Woods lobby, a depressed James is sipping a smoothie. He sadly tells Katie, "In Minnesota, I was 'The Face.' Now, I'm just 'A Face.' I'm just a handsome grain of sand on an extremely beautiful beach."

Yeah, so he's doing great.

Meanwhile, Kendall and Logan are having a day

They decide to put the kids' energy to good use and have them run a car-washing service while they sit back and collect the money.

Back at Rocque Records, (wow, this episode is busy) Kelly discovers the catastrophe unfolding in the break room and freaks out. When Carlos says they have to destroy the machine, she protests. That is, until things get personal.

"Kelly is dumb. Women are weak," the coffee machine says (it also calls her "cupcake"), to which she and Carlos promptly charge into the room to attack it with a bat and microphone stand. Together, they defeat C.A.L.

Katie gets James another modeling gig for Cuda—an elbow model for chapped elbow cream. James is not happy. He angrily model-walks away.

However, he's stopped in his tracks by none other than Mirror James, who tells him to embrace the job and his beautiful elbow so they can get back to the pool. James agrees and returns to the photoshoot.

I cannot get over the Mirror James stuff. Does this happen in any other episodes?? I can't remember. What is WRONG with him?

We then go to wrap up the babysitting plot. All the parents come to pick up their kids while Kendall and Logan happily take the payment owed them after a day of such suffering.

And with that, the guys have earned all the money needed to pay Gustavo back! It took them less than a day, lol. But they only have a few seconds to celebrate before an angry mob descends upon them demanding pay for all the additional chaos caused in their money-making attempts. Among the charges are a fine from the city for running an illegal daycare, destroying that coffee maker (an $8,000 prototype), and the cost of James's wardrobe from his modeling gig. So, when all is said and done, they've paid Gustavo back the $2,000.30, but now they owe him $14,089.

Gustavo flips his lid, starts destroying things around the studio, and gets caught by Griffin, who tells Gustavo he has to pay him back all that money. We end the episode with Kelly, Gustavo, and the guys all running a car wash at the Palm Woods.

There's so much to love about this episode. Disaster follows these boys wherever they go. They cannot have a normal day if they tried.

#big time rush #btr #kendall knight #carlos garcia #james diamond #logan mitchell #btr rewatch #btr season 1

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Very helpful, Kendall, thank you.

01x09 "Big Time Party"

#big time rush #btr #kendall knight #jo taylor #camille roberts #btr season 1 #btr gifsets

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#big time rush #btr #logan mitchell #james diamond #look up himbo in the dictionary & you'll see a picture of James #elevator music playing in that pretty little head of his

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The Hollywood Super Party Kings of Hollywood being very nicely synchronized through the whole episode

#big time rush #btr #carlos garcia #james diamond #btr gifsets #btr season 1 #cw flashing #they are RIDICULOUS and i LOVE THEM

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Big Time Rush + textposts [1/?]

#big time rush #btr #Ha!!!

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Big Time Rush Season 1, Episode 10: “Big Time Party”

Highlights: An epic Palm Woods party thrown by the Hollywood Super Party Kings of Hollywood! Also, a single five-second scene proves enough to nearly break me.

As the guys enter Rocque Records, their party-detecting senses start tingling. They find out that there's going to be a big party to celebrate their first album! Except they're not invited!

Booooo! 👎👎👎👎

Gustavo doesn't want the dogs messing up his fancy shindig, but Kendall declares that they are STAYING. Gustavo, however, has cleverly planned for this exact scenario. He tells them they can stay, but they can't go into his Super Party Fun Box.

The boys immediately enter the Fun Box.

Cannot contain my amusement at this whole scenario. The fact that Gustavo had this at the ready. The muffled music playing from the inside of the box. The fact that the group's singular shared brain cell evidently did not go to any of them that morning.

Brilliant show, I tell you. I think it may even be funnier now than it was when I was younger.

Later on, Mrs. Knight tells the boys that she and Katie are taking a day trip to San Diego. Kendall thinks it's the perfect opportunity for them to throw a party and, being the responsible young man that he is, goes to ask his mother if it's okay. Mrs. Knight reminds them that it's against Palm Woods rules to throw parties, and they're one strike away from being kicked out.

As soon as Mama Knight and Katie walk out the door, the guys immediately commence scheming to throw a "social gathering." They agree to keep it small (three people each), and Kendall doles out the responsibilities to his buds. This scene then happens, and listen. LISTEN. I totally forgot about it, but as soon as Kendall started delivering the line, it all came back to me. This was by far one of my favorite lines of the entire show, and I cannot properly convey how much it made me laugh when I used to catch the episode on TV. It is hysterical. The absurd humor in this show is top of the line.

No, you don't understand. This is like. The funniest gag on the planet to me. Kendall has an actual (unidentifiable) thing that he gives to Jo. She's so polite and appreciative about it even though she clearly has NO CLUE what it is. It's just—it's just a thing. He just gives it to her and does that goofy smile and point thing and moves onto chit-chat about the party. No additional context.

WHY did he give that to her?? What is the wacky in-universe explanation? He's so pleased with himself! Jo doesn't know what it is!!! I've spent the last ten minutes laughing over this scene. If anyone ever wants to know what my sense of humor consists of, I'll show them this one specific exchange.

Okay, I must summon my strength to pull myself together.

Kendall invites Jo to the not-party and asks if she'd like to be his "guest, friend, person thing." He is so normal.

Meanwhile, James and Carlos are also being normal about their party-planning responsibilities.

As the party gets into full swing, Camille wastes no time in coming on very strong to Logan, who is so overwhelmed by the attention that he literally crawls away from her and goes running to Kendall for help.

Kendall suggests that Logan simply be truthful and tell Camille he's not interested. Jo suggests Logan relax a bit and give things a chance with Camille. In a bizarre shift from the norm, Logan takes Jo's advice and tells Kendall he's wrong. *gasp*

We briefly go to Rocque Records then, where Gustavo is busy throwing the lamest party of the century. He tells Kelly they've got to liven it up.

Back in 2J, Kendall casually asks Jo if she likes hockey. She replies that she hates it, and Kendall proceeds to choke on his drink and go into a violent coughing fit. Jo doesn't like hockey?? Earth-shattering news.

Meanwhile, Logan is dealing with his own crisis when Mercedes Griffin suddenly walks in. As you may remember from the previous episode, she wanted Logan as her new boyfriend but never got the chance to date him because Kendall gave her a real stern talking to. Well, she wants to now pick up where they left off. And just like that, Logan is thrown into the classic sitcom "I've got two dates for the party!" plotline.

Moments later, the apartment is overrun by a huge crowd of people on account of Carlos is a bonehead who misread "all contacts" as a name.

Yes, it is, boys. Yes, it is. Also, I have to wonder how this even managed to happen in the first place. Aside from the fact that I don't even think it's possible to send a message to every contact at once (I looked it up, and it said you'd have to use third-party apps, and like. This is 2010, and Carlos has a flip phone.) But even if he managed to do it, I'm sure he's got family in his contacts! His parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings?? They would have gotten messages inviting them to this. Did none of them try to reach him and ask why he sent a mysterious party social-gathering invitation to them?

Listen, I realize I'm thinking too much into this, but still. A lot of things would have had to have lined up and gone wrong in order for this to happen.

Good job, Carlos.

Knowing Bitters will be on the hunt for their party, Kendall recruits Jo to help intercept him while James and Carlos shut the party down. The Hollywood Super Party Kings of Hollywood decide that moving the party down to the pool area is good enough.

Seeing that his friends are going to be of no help whatsoever, Kendall decides that if Bitters wants to bust a party, they're going to give him a party to bust. After running around the building with a boombox, they manage to lure Bitters into the Super Party Fun Box. Wooo! The threat has been eliminated! Kendall and Jo celebrate with a high-five.

They are so cute.

We go back to the pool then to tie up some remaining loose ends. Camille (who is angry after discovering Logan's double-date situation) says she won't talk to him for a week, but she will dance with him. Mercedes quickly moves on and picks Guitar Dude as her new boyfriend. Gustavo and Kelly have managed to save their boring party by bringing everyone over to the Palm Woods, and Carlos and James sit on their thrones and look upon their party kingdom with satisfaction.

Happy ending for all (except for Bitters, who was likely stuck in that box for the remainder of the night)

Good episode. Love seeing those guys get put into situations and then spend the next 20 minutes desperately trying to scramble their way out. I'm still thinking of the "I kinda got a thing for her" scene, btw. Living rent free in my head.

#big time rush #btr #kendall knight #carlos garcia #james diamond #logan mitchell #btr rewatch #btr season 1

[btr-rewatch]

I had a dream last night that I was watching the news, and they said that Kendall Schmidt had his right arm bitten off by a shark, and I was devastated. Instead of being happy that he was, ya know, still alive, my initial reaction was, "How is he going to PLAY his GUITAR?? How?? How is he going to be able to continue to be in a band when he is MISSING his ARM?" Rational thinking did not come into play for Dream Me.

Can't stress to you all how upset I was, as well as worried about how this would impact his overall life and mental state. I immediately started trying to form an organization that could help invent a device that would allow him to play guitar one-armed. Frantically making phone calls and such.

At one point during the dream, I stopped and had the thought of, "This is weird because it's just like that fanfic I read when I was younger, except it was Logan who had his arm eaten by a shark." (real fanfic, btw)

Halfway through the dream, the details suddenly changed so that he wasn't missing his whole arm anymore—just his right hand. This was wonderful news to me. "We'll just buy him a prosthetic hand that can hold guitar picks!" I declared. Problem solved.

So, anyway, that was the dream I had last night while in a Nyquil-induced fog (I'm sick). When I woke up from it, I was disoriented for a bit and wasn't sure if Kendall had actually been attacked by a shark, and I got upset all over again for a few minutes until I managed to pull the hazy pieces of reality back together.

#big time rush #btr #miscellaneous thoughts #Kendall if you ever lose your arm in a shark attack don't worry I got u

[btr-rewatch]

Big Time Rush "Halfway There" (Big Time Demos)

#big time rush #btr #kendall knight #carlos garcia #james diamond #logan mitchell #btr gifsets #btr season 1 #cw flashing #flash warning

[btr-rewatch]

So, like...how old is Gustavo supposed to be in Big Time Rush? I was pondering this earlier because Gustavo never seemed old to me when the show was on, but I probably would have put him somewhere in his 40s. After all, it's established that he was big in the 90s and produced a lot of successful boy bands during that time.

Except Stephen Kramer Glickman was only 30 when the show premiered! He's certainly not playing his own age because it wouldn't have been possible for him to have been a famous producer in the 1990s. He would've only been 20 at the very end of the 90s, meaning he was an 11 or 12-year-old starting to crank out famous bands at the start of his career, lol. The Gustavo wiki page lists his character's birth year as 1976, but I don't think that's an established fact? And anyway, I still wouldn't even buy that since it still seems too young. His career would've been over by the time he was 23. (Unless he really was some music producer prodigy managing bands in his teens/early twenties. Which I suppose is in line with the general absurdity of the BTR universe)

Anyway, all of this is to say that we're probably supposed to believe Gustavo is somewhere in his 40s, which works since he's one of those people who looked older than he actually was. And it's funny to watch the show now and see Gustavo be this big, scary, older authority figure over the guys when there was really only about a 10-year age gap between him and them. He ends up serving as sort of a father figure to them in a way at times, when in reality his actual age put him much more firmly in "older brother" territory. Weird.

#big time rush #btr #gustavo rocque #miscellaneous thoughts