#it’s so hard to function like this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-casbah-way · 16 days

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grabs my computer screen and starts shaking it how to cure gender dysphoria HOW TO CURE GENDER DYSPHORIA

#kidding theres no way to fix it when it’s like this #everything i’d normally do to alleviate it makes it worse when it’s this bad #because it’s like wow look at you trying so embarrassingly hard to not look disgusting and failing miserably #i had to cancel my plans yesterday and today because girl i can’t go outside when i feel like this i can’t even get out of bed #looking at myself makes me want to VOMIT why do i look like this #i look back on old pictures of myself and try to work out what was different back then so i can replicate it #but people say i look exactly the same in those photos as i do now #and i remember taking those old photos and feeling ugly and dysphoric back then too #if i lean back into my more cis look i’ll get gendered correctly again which i want #but i don’t like playing cis man it’s not who i am and it makes me feel weird and gross #i just hate what i look like no matter what i do to my appearance #every single part of my physical self makes me feel really ill and anxious and bad and guilty #there’s not a single bit of me i can stand to look at when i feel like this #i feel like everyone who has ever seen me thinks i’m disgusting and ugly and horrible to look at #and i want to like hide forever but i can’t #it’s so hard to function like this #i hate everything about me so much #someone affirm my stupid dumb ass gender right fucking now i’m going to die

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bruciemilf · 1 year

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I wonder how many times Clark and the batkids + Alfred revived Bruce with the Lazarus Pit and just never told him abt it

#he pieces it together later but i mean. its so hard for him to miss now that hes looking back at it #like why is he always always always cold with a turtleneck on and heating blasting #why is his appetite so scarce? how come his sleep deprived body withstands hours - sometimes DAYS - of patrol #and functions perfectly? how come time passes by but he stays the same? why wont clark and dick stop giving gim #*him looks of loving grief?#why does harley slam her fists on her head when she sees him? ' no no no you're gone. you're GONE. I KNOW you are!'#why does selina smile at him with such heavy pity ' sorry bruce. i don't do ghosts'#bruce wayne #dc #dc comics #batman #batfamily #clark kent #dick grayson #jason todd #bc they def exclude the cloning. they dont want another bruce. they want THEIR bruce. tim #like can you imagine jason getting up in tim's face and just ' if you're not gonna stand by us then stay out of our way'#dark bruce? tired. dark BATKIDS? sign me the FUCK up #batdad #text

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fictionadventurer · 3 months

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How did Treasure Planet manage to come up with the greatest aesthetic in all human history? Victorian elegance plus space-age flair, with just enough dirt and grime and wear and tear to make it feel real? A combination of traditional and computer animation that perfectly embodies the movie's blend of old and futuristic? How does it get any better than that?

#treasure planet #turned it on on a whim #because sylvia's lovers put me in the mood for sailing ship vibes #and it turns out it fits in really well with the north and south space opera i've been thinking about again #it's really hard for me not to give thornton a giant beautiful space sailing ship #(no you can't do it! the point is that they're industrial and purely functional!)#also i've got another post brewing about how treasure planet is an excellent boy's adventure coming-of-age story #and we need more of those because i feel like the genre doesn't exist in the same way these days #but i'm not sure i could say what i mean without getting folks up in arms #so i'm keeping it to the tags

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nano30cm · 2 months

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the artist and his muse. this was supposed to be a sketch but. well.

#reprise reprise #total drama fanart #td brick #td jo #i think brick is really into neutral colours with strong silhouettes #hes a very practical designer and focuses on function more than form #so his designs arent very flashy and he doesn't stand out but his work suits him #he puts pockets on everything also #im sure jo is used to being his living dressform by now so this is just another sunday probably #she likes neutrals too so she does really like his work even though itd be hard to get her to admit it

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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year

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Imagine creator reader but no divine presence or aura that makes people crumble at the knees.

Reader just spawns in at wolvendom like a fly and meets diluc for no important reason i just love diluc then pow we can alter character builds then discover that my husband has the bell and instructors set on 😲

Creator freaks out cause wtf this is NOT the build i put on my diluc and hes standing there like ‘what psychopath did i just meet..’ so wow what no way creator reader just happens to have a 2 piece crimson witch in their inventory.

Reader: ‘You’re probably gonna leave me here but theres a hillichurl camp near by you dont want the knights of favonius to get to it first right’

Dilucs mad suspicious but hes a good civilian and puts his vision to use and absolutely destroys the hilichurls

Hes doing like 19x the amount of damage he normally would and word gets around that theres some random lady that makes people uncomprehendingly strong

BRO (genderneutral) I SAW A FIC LITERALLY ABOUT THIS SCENARIO UNDER THE SAGAU TAG AWHILE BACK- ACK-

FIC REC ASK!!

I CANT FIND IT- THEY WERE ACTUALLY THE OG INSPO FOR ME KEEPING A READER WHO COULD STILL ACCESS PLAYER FUNCTIONS

LIKE, DUDE THEY DID DILUC AND EVERYTHING

THIS IS SO CREEPY WTF R U SECRETLY THAT AWESOME WRITER??!!! DID U SNEAK INTO MY ASKS, BC IF SO HELLO I LOVE THAT FIC SM <3 ANYWAY-

I don’t know how to write this without plagiarising that person!!

Because this is such a specific scenario, I don’t see a way around writing this or at least I don’t have the skill for it lmao, as this is the same situation as that fic, so here you guys go!

My first fic rec!! Thank you so much @myrainycollectorpizza for finding this fic!! You're a peach tysm,

Here's pretty much a cooler longer version of what anon said by Muraar on ao3!

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Safe Travels Anon,

💀♒️

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Fic rec sorry my beloveds! Another ask will be uploaded in an hour or so! :] I lied i forgot to tag u guys in the new one hold on

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche

#fic recommendation #fic recs #when u specify ur brainrot so hard someones already done it 😔✨️#tysm for the ask tho i hope its okay i put this ur way instead of writing a response!#feel free to send another one in if u rlly want me to write something #:)#genshin sagau #genshin impact #sagau #my replies #my asks #genshin isekai #genshin imagines #gender neutral reader #genshin impact sagau #genshin impact artificer au #thats what im calling this bc DND the roleplaying game has a class for characters just like this!#that and this story are what inspired me to keep the “ingame” functions for when ur “in game”

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ickmick · 2 months

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so im relistening to tma

(i said id wait longer but... i missed having it in the background :< plus im working on digitalizing that silly jonmartin drawing so it fits to listen to tma teehee)

DENIAL (The Nile) IS A RIVER IN EGYPT!! SPIDERS DON'T DO THAT!! /ref

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asylumdream · 1 year

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inspired by a post from @thatwavephenomenon that has Not left my brain about link not getting saved by Rauru and instead falling to the depths. Comentary version under the cut

#tears of the kingdom #Tears of the kingdom spoilers #totk spoilers #my art #art #I think he found an old depths armor set lying around and diy-ed it back to half way functional #He sewed a bright bloom on it because they are hard to come by #Those lil frog things are annoying to kill #He keeps the chuchu jelly he finds seperated by type so it dosnt explode on him #Dont ask me how he knows what the new elemental fruits look like #Since the master sword dosnt get to zelda i imagine she gose all in on learning time powers #And maybe rauru becomes a champion stylr ghost for her in the present?#The triforce of courage has manifested as an eye in his hand #He dosnt know what the eye is though. He thinks its ganon. He hopes its not ganon.#I wanted to make him a bit more dead looking then this but oh well #I think its still cool

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evilkaeya · 4 months

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being depressed sucks ass because there's so many things I wanna do but I just can't

#in my mind i want to work on my assignment #not should but WANT #I WANT TO FUNCTION LIKE A REGULAR PERSON IN SOCIETY #but it's so hard. even bringing myself to shower or eat is like. so much work #anyways i finsihed derry girls #cheers to that #it was amazing #deserved more seasons #I'm going to watch bes next #maybe not starting today but i will #is it even depression because I'm not sad #I'm just not doing things that normal people do normally #and while i feel shit abt it it's not making me sad #right now for example I'm only having pomegranates and a scrambled egg for dinner

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heartofarcanum · 6 months

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I’m trying so hard to articulate how entranced i am by his more volatile behavior. Like something something a mask of calm he tries so hard to keep in place over a sea of roiling volatile emotions that are so close to the surface and that always manage to break free despite his desperate attempts at control because at the end of the day he’s still just an incredibly emotional boy obsessed with love and respect and constantly denied them no matter what he does something something

#god I love when men are just kinda nuts #like yes baby destroy your tent in a fit of rage #like he’s so unstable even though he tries so hard to be functional #it’s just such a genuine attempt at a stable facade that so genuinely fails him #rc mehmed #rc #romance club #dals #dracula a love story

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puppyeared · 5 months

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Jitterbug

#whenever my meds kick in it feels like im gonna piss myself. not literally but its really really feels like it #and now whenever that happens my mind goes back to pancho (grandmas dog) at a xmas party years ago #bc he peed when we arrived bc he was so excited to see ppl and my cousin had to clean it up :o)#well for better or for worse i know that feeling now when im pumped on 20mg of adderall #im still getting used to this whole diagnosis thing cause ive gone untreated and undiagnosed for the longest time. so theres probably a lot #i still dont know and have to learn to get myself to be.. functional on my own? self managing????#i even set up reminders on my phone for work periods meals and stuff. but the problem is actually getting myself to stick to that to a T #because the minute i slack off or something gets in the way it throws it all off until i can be bothered to get back on track. it sucks #at least ive built up other habits like writing notes and setting alarms ahead of time.. but i feel like i could do better #its always hard to change something if youve been doing it wrong for the longest time. especially behaviour and thinking patterns. sigh #in other news my glasses bailed on me so i have to get a new pair sometime. i just realized i never draw my sona with glasses but thats #mostly bc i forget. id love to get some browline glasses like my old pair but im picky and its hard to find one id like for the next 5 year #i also finally managed to collect all the fish in my animal crossing file!!! pulled out a char last week and boom now i have a poster :o)#THAT was a moment where i almost peed myself for real. id love to get all the bugs but i cant stay up late on the switch :o(#yapping #my art #myart #doodles #personal #diary

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moeblob · 21 days

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I literally ate One Thing today and my stomach has decided to rebel.

#witewawwy so tired of being sick #i feel mostly fine except for you know the excessive amounts of time ive spent hunched over clutching my tummy #i at least am not still in back pain which is what killed me yesterday #u ever take 4 showers in 1 day (yesterday) to try soothing the pains ?#u ever eat 1 meal in 1 day (today) and regret it for the next 8 hours?#ive tried so hard to be good and rest and FOR WHAT ! a still horty tummy #inhaling too much still hurts and im like please body this is a basic human function ? breathing? why hurt?

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hajihiko · 8 months

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That is generally sad because having parents who aren't really abusive or emotionally straining yet- they don't really feel like people who LOVE you? I guess? Like- Hajime's parents were probably just normal everyday parents like Makotos but, I'm just spit Ballin here, they're less optimistic than Makotos parents, who in contrast, always bonded with their children and loved them right off the bat.

You can feel like a stranger in your family, and that sucks. It's no one's direct fault and no one can point to any huge grievance, which makes it hard to pinpoint, which means you never get the Comfort Of Family or the Tools of Dealing With Abusive Parents- you just. Manage.

#Parents who do their due diligence but cannot connect with their kid once it has a personality and opinions- it's real ask your friends #I feel like Hajimes parents just sort of went By The Book and nothing more.#Convo at the dinnertable was just. How was school? How was work? Any extra curriculars?#The neighbours got a dog. How is your old friend? Oh you havent talked in 6 years? The balcony needs painting.#That's it. Bed time. No one ever gets close at all. It's more polite conversation than you'd have at the bus stop #No interest and most of all no desire or dare to rock the boat. This works. We function as a family. That's the best we can do.#Otherwise we'd bring up a problem which unearths years and YEARS of unhappiness that ruins our otherwise stable life #Every single moment of frustration comes out at once. Because none of it ever got aired out. Cant have that can we??#So again. How was school? Doing good? Try hard okay? Good night.

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ichijokaoru · 6 months

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