#someone affirm my stupid dumb ass gender right fucking now i’m going to die

[the-casbah-way]

grabs my computer screen and starts shaking it how to cure gender dysphoria HOW TO CURE GENDER DYSPHORIA

#kidding theres no way to fix it when it’s like this #everything i’d normally do to alleviate it makes it worse when it’s this bad #because it’s like wow look at you trying so embarrassingly hard to not look disgusting and failing miserably #i had to cancel my plans yesterday and today because girl i can’t go outside when i feel like this i can’t even get out of bed #looking at myself makes me want to VOMIT why do i look like this #i look back on old pictures of myself and try to work out what was different back then so i can replicate it #but people say i look exactly the same in those photos as i do now #and i remember taking those old photos and feeling ugly and dysphoric back then too #if i lean back into my more cis look i’ll get gendered correctly again which i want #but i don’t like playing cis man it’s not who i am and it makes me feel weird and gross #i just hate what i look like no matter what i do to my appearance #every single part of my physical self makes me feel really ill and anxious and bad and guilty #there’s not a single bit of me i can stand to look at when i feel like this #i feel like everyone who has ever seen me thinks i’m disgusting and ugly and horrible to look at #and i want to like hide forever but i can’t #it’s so hard to function like this #i hate everything about me so much #someone affirm my stupid dumb ass gender right fucking now i’m going to die