#it’s just like when ppl kept asking me about my fics I figured that’s all they wanted for a bit

[decembermoonskz]

.

#vent.txt #I kinda feel really weird about like not writing fic #yk I obviously know there’s more to my life than writing fic and I can do it whenever #but I’m just amazed ppl follow me without me doing that yk? #idk weird feelings but it’s just like it felt like that was the main reason ppl followed me and yet they’re still #here #and I’m amazed and thankful and shocked all at once #idk it’s not like I’m tying my fics to my worth as a person or anything. nothing like that #it’s just like when ppl kept asking me about my fics I figured that’s all they wanted for a bit #like I myself didn’t really matter they just wanted to know why my fics aren’t available rn #and if ppl unfollow that’s none of my business obviously but it made those tiny thoughts pop out to me #so when you guys are kind to me and stuff and or send an ask in my inbox I’m genuinely shocked and happy that you came to talk to me yk? #this is how I end up seeing asks in my inbox a lot #so if you ever think ‘she’s awfully happy about an ask’ that’s why #anyways I just realized that I do miss writing fic but idk it feels like I’m just here yk? and I’m okay with being here and talking to fren #for right now that’s more than enough for my blog #if you made it to the end of this ty for reading? hahaha I’m just venting a bunch

[k4katsujin]

HIIIII MLLL! I would love if you could write a Mike x reader following the FNAF plot? I haven’t ppl write anything like that! Maybe the reader being forced to go with Abby when Freddy comes to get her and Mike saving them and being protective? Smth angst WITH A FLUFF ENDING BC AHHHV I LOVE FLUFF WITH SOME ANGST! (also nothing with smut bc everyone’s been writing Mike smut and it feels so ooc for him 😔)

HAIIIII THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR REQUEST <33

you're so real asexual mike canon!!

also the angst part is a bit rushed i'm sorry i'm slowly getting out of writer's block and it truly ain't shit 🤧🤧 BUUTTT HERE WE AREE

gender neutral reader!!

wc: 1141 🦦

find the fic on ao3 here! || link to my ao3 profile 🦇

“Give me the vest.” Mike tried to command to his sister, but it was to no use.

“No. Me and Y/N are coming with you.” Abby replied on a taunting tone.

“ Are we?” you said, looking up from your book, and the death stare Abby gave you left you no choice but to follow her.

“Please.” Abby begged, doing her signature puppy eyes.

“No.” Mike replied sternly.

"What?! You can't say no to her, especially not with those puppy eyes!!" you chimed in, doing puppy eyes as well, hoping it would persuade him.

“Fine” he sighs, and you and Abby exchanged a hearty high five. “But only if you come with us as well, Y/N.”

“Fine by me!” you reply with an eager smile. “Come on Abby, let’s get ready!”

The happy trio then found itself impatiently sitting in the car, while the radio was silently playing Talking in your sleep.

A few moments later, you all three arrived n front of the abandoned pizzeria.

“Don’t get your hopes up, okay?” Mike warned as you were entering the building. “Just… Do whatever while I’m watching the cameras. Y/N? (you turn your head to look at him) I’m counting on you, you’re the adult, you take care of Abby, okay ? (you nod) And you, Abby, don’t be too much of a trouble, okay?”

“Mhm!” she agreed excitedly.

A few moments later, you and Abby found yourselves discovering all the oddities of the ancient pizzeria, but one in particular caught your eyes.

“Look at that muffin!” you say to Abby as you point your flashlight towards a muffin with a pink icing and some gloomy yellow eyes. “Imagine if it started chasing you here, what would you do?”

“I sure wouldn’t want that to happen” Abby chuckled as you switched rooms, not paying attention to the now moving muffin.

On the other hand, boredom seemed to have gotten the best of Mike. After all, if nothing tragic happened in this pizzeria in over 30 years, the bite of 87 aside, why would it change now?

That’s how our dear camera monitor ended falling asleep, the soft noise of the cameras’ static slowly lulling him, but he shouldn't have…

You and Abby kept on exploring the various and numerous rooms, and found a room full of blanket of pillows and blankets.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” you ask Abby as you give her a mischievous look.

“If you’re thinking about building a pillow fort, then totally!!” Abby replied cheerfully. “We should do it in the main plaza!”

“Yes!! Start off with bringing these there, I’ll take the rest!” you say as you hand her a few blankets.

A few moments later, you and Abby started running out of blankets, so you decided to take the ones who were covering some oddly tall figures.

“What the- oh my god this is awfully terrifying” you say as you uncovered a strange purple bunny looking animatronic.

Should you have left? Of course. But you somehow couldn’t take your eyes off of the strange creature before your eyes. Its red eyes were staring back at yours, and something felt off, but you couldn’t put your finger on it. It’s as if the creature in front of you was…

Alive.

“Help!!” you tried to scream, but nobody could hear you.

Strange, Mike thought as he noticed one of the cameras stopped working. I should check what’s going on there.

“Abby?” he asked as he headed towards the main plaza. “Do you know where is Y/N?”

“They’re in the storage room, we are going to build a pillow fort!” Abby replied cheerfully.

Mike then rushed to the storage room where he thought you were, where he noticed you silently studying the purple robot-looking bunny.

As you tilted your head in curiosity, the robot did the same, and you couldn’t help but to find it endearing.

"Oh my God, I thought something bad happened to you," Mike sighed, relieved to see you alive and well. "Are you the one who screamed earlier?"

“Yes” you admit with a sheepish smile. “That’s because he didn’t want to put me down.”

“Okay...” Mike replied, slightlty doubtful.

“By the way,his name is Bonnie! Bonnie, this is Mike, my best friend!” you said with a smile. “He can be of good use for taking all the pillows we need to the plaza!”

A few hours pass as the night comes to an end, and time to head back home arrived.

Both you and Abby fell asleep in the car, lulled by the smooth roaring of the car.

“Y/N?” Mike called you after Abby went to sleep. “Can I tell you something?”

“Sure, but what’s with the serious face?” you ask him, starting to get worried.

“Nothing I just…” Mike sighed. “I’m just glad you’re safe. The animatronics can get dangerous at times.”

“There’s something you’re not telling me.” You point out. “Whatever it is, you can tell me, I’m your best friend, I won’t judge.”

Mike sighed deeply before saying:

“If I got so worried about you, it’s because I thought I would lose you. And I couldn’t bear losing the one I love.”

“Is that… A confession?” you ask, not wanting a misunderstanding.

“What else do you want it to be” he replied, smiling awkwardly.

“Well” you chuckle, “I’m surprised you beat me to it. It’s been a while since I wanted to confess as well.”

“Wait, really??” (you nod with a soft smile) “So, does that mean that we’re, you know, dating?”

“I don’t know” you chuckle softly, “We’ll have plenty time to disscuss it later, okay? Let’s just say we’re lovers for now, okay?”

#fnaf #fnaf movie #fnaf movie x reader #mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt #fnaf mike schmidt #x reader #josh hutcherson x reader #josh hutcherson #five nights at freddy's #creative writing #writers on tumblr #writers on ao3 #queer writers

[fae-renjun]

let down your hair ; pjs

part of the happily never after collab hosted by @soobisms and @karsohn ! happy halloween !!

pairing: flynn rider!jisung x fem!rapunzel!reader

genre: rapunzel!au, dark-ish!au, y/n is highkey evil but has her reasons, jisung may or may not be evil but he's also pretty in love, honestly more fluffy than i'd intended

warnings: swords, dark magic, princesses kidnapped and kept in towers, reader and jisung kill lots of ppl together

wc: 2.4k+

a/n: the pitch perfect version of toxic by britney spears was on my playlist for this fic, do what you will with that information + this isnt proofread sorry for mistakes and stuff

i. when will my life begin?

When Y/N was 10 she found out who Mother really was. She really shouldn’t have been in Mother’s room while she was out. She shouldn’t have been a curious little nuisance like Mother said she was. She shouldn’t have opened the box of books. She shouldn’t have looked at the books. Or what Mother had written in the columns. But she did.

That was how it began. That was when the girl stuck in the tower found out she was the lost princess and the lost princess decided she had to save herself. She spent years figuring out how to use the magic in her hair against Mother Gothel. For 8 years, every day when Gothel left the tower for..work (or whatever she was really doing when she told Y/N she was working) - Y/N would get the books out and practice. She spent nearly a decade memorising incantations, making her hair glow, not gold like it did when she healed people, but dark purple. Healing wasn’t going to get her out of the tower, but dark magic would.

She’s finally learnt it all. She’s prepared for this moment. Nearly half her life had been preparation for this day - her 18th birthday - the day Mother Gothel would die. Or so she had planned. Until a hand clutched the edge of the window - the only way to leave or enter the tower. Mother Gothel had already left. From all she had told the girl, the tower was well hidden from the outside world. Out of fright Y/N grabbed the object closest to her - a frying pan.

With a loud groan an individual pulled himself up into the tower. Y/N, hiding near the window, smacked him with the pan she held. After he was knocked out she inspected the boy. He looked about the same age as her, except he was incredibly tall.

Whispering to herself she said, “Huh. He has pretty lips- What am I doing?” Y/N sighed, tearing her eyes away from the boy. 

She looked at the satchel he wore instead. Carefully opening it while trying not to wake him, she saw a tiara. She pulled it out and facing a mirror, tried it on.

The boy began to stir suddenly and Y/N panicked and tossed the tiara and the satchel in a cupboard. Before he could gain full consciousness she grabbed his hands and tied them together using her hair, then did the same for his legs. The boy, still lying on the ground, opened his eyes to Y/N standing directly above him and glaring. He screamed, causing her to scream back.

“Who are you?!?”

“Who am I? Who are you? You’re in my house!” Then, straightening herself up and dragging him to sit against the wall she continued, “And I’m not scared of you.”

“What is this- hair? Yeah you don’t have to be scared of me, just untie me.”

“You still haven’t answered my question.”

 “In my defence I asked first but you know what, I’ll oblige. I’m Park Jisung,” He replied with a smirk, “How’s your day going gorgeous?”

Y/N groaned, was he seriously trying to flirt with her? “My name is Y/N. Why did you climb into my home Park Jisung?”

“​​Here's the thing. I was in a situation, Gallivanting through the forest. I came across your tower and...Ho, ho no, where is my satchel?”

“I've hidden it, somewhere you'll never find it.”

“It’s in the cupboard isn’t it.”

“Why would it be in the cupboard?”

“It feels kinda obvious.”

“We are diverting from the point. What do you want? My hair? You want to cut it? Sell it?”

“No! Listen, the only thing I want to do with your hair, is to get out of it. Literally!”

Y/N backed away from Jisung. “Wait, what?”

“Why on earth would I want your hair? Look, I was being chased, I saw a tower, I climbed it, end of story.”

Y/N let out a quiet “Oh.”

Then she had an idea. He did climb in her home uninvited. Maybe he should pay. Maybe he could be her direct ticket out. She agreed to untie him, and eventually give him back the tiara (that part of the deal may have been a little bit subjective), as long as he took her to see the lights. The floating lanterns that she saw from her window on her birthday every year. She knew they were for her - the princess - but she wouldn’t be telling him that. Not when the tiara he had seemed to compliment her hair colour a little too perfectly.

When he finally agreed after 15 whole minutes of negotiation that involved a lot of constricted movement and whining on his part and the waving of a frying pan on her part, Y/N united her hair and he jumped to his feet. 

Jisung let out a sigh of disbelief and muttered something she probably didn’t want to hear. They both used her hair to get out of the tower and made their way to the more populated parts of the kingdom.

“Okay let’s go! Where’s my satchel?”

Dragging said satchel out of the cupboard and swinging it across her body, Y/N replied, “I’ll be holding onto it until you uphold my end of the deal.”

Y/N now recounted her plan in her head. Mother Gothel had gone to get her oil paints she’d asked for. Now she just had to play dumb until after they’d seen the lanterns and she’d be able to slip away to find Mother Gothel with the map she’d stolen from her room earlier. She continued following Jisung until they reached a pub, the snuggly duckling.

“Oh look Park! It’s named after you!”

“Oh how very funny. I am simply bursting with laughter,” Jisung deadpanned. “You want something to drink?”

ii. flower gleam and glow

Y/N thought for a moment. She needed him to trust her, maybe this would help.

“Sure.”

Big mistake. Very big mistake. The pub, contrary to its inviting name, was filled with very uninviting people - well at least uninviting towards Jisung. Nearly everyone there was a criminal of sorts, and nearly everyone also happened to know Jisung. They did not like him (and that would be an understatement).

Jeno and Jaemin - the muscular guys that were the most intimidating people Y/N had seen in her life and also happened to have some of the best smiles she’d ever seen - were a duo that had once agreed to work with Jisung and been double crossed by him (although they got their revenge ages ago, they were still a little bitter). Then there was Chenle, who’d learnt how to steal alongside Jisung as a kid but had been abandoned by his partner in crime when Jisung found bigger money-making solo jobs to do. There were many others as well, all of whom seemed to adore Y/N, and as they narrated their stories to her, their histories and their dreams, Jisung sat in a corner frowning. She laughed and made her way over to him. 

“What? You don’t have a story? A dream?”

Jisung sat up and said, “I want to be a king. Or just really rich. I think being a king would be too much pressure. I just want the money.”

“Ah. A man of great virtue, I see.”

Doing a tiny fake bow he replied, “Of course, and you should expect nothing less.”

Suddenly, pulling them away from the moment they were having, they heard a shout. Looking out the window, Jeno exclaimed, “The Royal Guard! Park, hide! You’re wanted! Y/N you better hide with him.” 

Mark, the bartender pulled one of the levers and hurried the 2 of them under the counter into a secret passage. 

“It leads outside, they won’t find you there.”

After hurriedly thanking the blue-haired man, Jisung grabbed Y/N’s hand and pulled her down the passage with him. They walked for what felt like nearly half an hour to Y/N (and her exhausted legs), until they saw daylight at the end of the tunnel. They reached a clearing and Y/N settled herself there on some logs lying around. He had long let go of her hand, but it still felt strange where he had held her. She still felt the warmth of his palm. She didn’t know if she liked the feeling or hated it, but either way she still didn’t trust him.

Jisung turned so his back was facing her as he dusted his clothes off and said, “You’re a pretty bad actress, you know.”

“What?” she replied, startled.

He turned back to face her, “I can tell you have a plan of some sort. It’s obvious everytime you switch moods to act dumb in front of me. I don’t mind it, but if your plan happens to include not giving back my satchel or the tiara inside it, I’d rather know now.”

Y/N smirked, “I have no idea what you could possibly mean.”

Jisung pulled a knife from the inside of his jacket, “Oh yeah? Well maybe this will help you understand gorgeous.”

She gasped as she backed away. Ripping the satchel off her body she threw down in the space between them, “Fine! You can have it.”

Pleased, he picked up the satchel and opened it to check the contents were all there. While he looked away, Y/N began combing her hair with her fingers.

“You should know though, it does belong to me.”

By the time Jisung looked up it was too late, her hair was already glowing purple, her lips mouthing an incantation. She put her hands out and fired purple flames at a spot on the ground near his feet as she walked closer to him. Jisung panicked and pulled the knife back out but she just melted it. He stumbled to the ground as she stepped forward once again. Finally he held the satchel out to her.

Her powers calming down she grabbed it and draped it over her body once again. 

“You-you’re the princess. The lost princess.”

“Indeed I am.”

“Okay. Princess. I’m sure we can come to some sort of arrangement.”

“What kind?”

“Well, you clearly have a plan, something you need to do. What is it?”

“I need to kill my mother.”

“The queen?!”

“No! The woman that kidnapped me and kept me in a tower for 18 years! Idiot.”

“That wasn’t obvious when you said your mother! Anyway, I help you get to your ‘mother’ so you can kill her, and you give me the tiara in return? Or money. I take cash as well.” 

Y/N thought about it. In fact she thought for so long Jisung started getting tired of waiting for an answer. Honestly, she’d already made up her mind. She just wanted to agonise him more. She didn’t have to trust him as long as they both kept up their ends of the deal. They both had their motives. She cared far less about being princess than she did about 

“Okay.”

Jisung jumped to his feet, “Okay then! Let’s be on our way! Where’s your evil mother?”

 As they walked to the location Y/N described to him, she explained her plan to him, and how she’d trained herself to use her power over time. Jisung was in awe of her - the girl that had spent her whole life locked in a tower and taught herself to save herself. He wasn’t going to lie about being attracted to her. He could tell she was just as conniving as he was, just a lot smarter when she made her plans. Her acting could still use work though. He could help her with that, he thought to himself, before realising he was thinking about someone who, as far as he knew, very well planned to never see him again after he held up his end of the deal. 

“You don’t care about being princess do you?”

“Does a princess use her powers to kill people?”

“I wouldn’t think so. Then again, you’re the first princess I’ve met. I think the cool princesses would kill people anyway.”

iii. let your power shine

They were ambushed. Mother Gothel was working with the twins Jisung had been running from and they’d called for the Royal Guard. Gothel somehow found out she was working with Jisung, and Y/N’s blood was boiling. Not just that - her hair was glowing darker than it ever had. Gothel’s shock when she began the incantation made the 8 years of waiting truly worth it, and before she could lift a finger, Y/N was firing curses at her while Jisung fought the twins. The witch was helpless against the determination Y/N had bottled up all those years.

“You took my real life away from me, mother. Now you will pay.”

“Y/N, my beautiful child, how could you do this? All I ever did was care for you.”

“Care for me? You used me!” Y/N began the spell she’d worked the hardest on, the one that would kill Gothel for good as she said, “And for the last time - You’re. Not. My. Mom.”

One minute Mother Gothel was crouched on the ground in front of her, the next she was ashes. Y/N turned to see Jisung staring at her, not with fear, but with awe, and maybe even pride. He’d knocked the twins out a while ago but they knew they weren’t done yet. They could hear the Royal Guard’s horses not far off. Using an easier incantation she’d learnt she conjured a sword for Jisung and tossed it to him. 

They fought their way through the Royal Guard with ease. They were a team now. They’d both realised that. The guards kept coming, but they fought their way up to the centre of the city, to the front of the castle. As the last of the guards dropped to the ground, she heard Jisung’s sword clatter and watched him walk over the bodies to her. He cupped her face in his hands and before she could let out a word he pulled her in and their lips met. The kiss was everything. Everything they had done together. All the bodies that they’d made fall together. The power they both knew they had ignited that kiss. It was fiery and powerful and they kissed until neither one could breathe. 

When they finally broke apart, his hands in her hair and both their chests heaving, trying to catch their breath - they smiled at each other. 

“I think we could rule this kingdom together princess.” 

“I think so too, Park.”

#park jisung #nct dream #nct dream x reader #nct x reader #nct fanfic #jisung x reader #park jisung x reader #park jisung fic #renjun #jaemin #mark lee #jeno #haechan #chenle #nct fluff #collab

[ladytauria]

2, 3, 5, 6 (and will you read it in the upcoming year), 10 ,14, 18, 20, 24 y 25!

thank you for asking!!! i had to grab books from last year bc this year was a bad reading year for me, but the questions were/are fun!

2. Did you reread anything? What?

i reread the last unicorn yesterday!!! bc i was feeling nostalgic. i made. a BUNCH more highlights in my kindle. (altho i read my physical copy lol.) there's just... so much good stuff in there, aah.

(oh ik u sent me an ask about this, idk if you saw it--ik tumblr is goofy--but its here! also, minor clarification: it doesn't have a *sequel* but there's a pair of novellas, released as one book, that are set in the same world!)

3. What were your top five books of the year?

i. didn't read very much this year at all. (er, published books! i did read a ton of fanfic). the beginning of this year was exTREMELY stressful, and in the latter half, all the books i started just. failed to grab me :/

that said!! i met my reading goal last year, so i will just include those!!

One of the books I did read this year was The Cybernetic Tea Shop by Meredith Katz, a v cute novella about a mechanic & an android. It's set a few centuries in the future, where robotics have advanced significantly. Intelligent AI were banned a long time ago, but those few whose bodies have not eroded / code hasn't corrupted are allowed to remain. The android in the fic runs a Tea Shop, which she inherited from her long-deceased lover <3 (The book is also sappic! I would love to read more of Katz's work.

Also, like I said, I reread The Last Unicorn, which I think would be on a top 5 in general for me, if I were ever to attempt to narrow that down xD. The prose in this book is beautiful; there are so many lovely lines. And the themes in the book--the play of mortality vs immortality, the structure of fairy tales & how the ppl in this setting are v much bound by them--are present from the very beginning, which was a fun thing to pick up on during my reread xD

All Systems Red by Martha Wells! I read a lot of sci-fi last year for some reason? Anyway, I adored this. Murderbot is a fascinating pov character & I love the choices Wells makes with it. My only gripe is that I could not immediately go out and buy the rest of the series.

Elatsoe by Darcie Little Badger!!! this was. so cute. It's YA, I think? Yes, okay, Storygraph confirms this. The writing is lovely, and I adore the main character and the story! One thing you see a lot of--or, actually, I guess I should say I see a lot of--in YA is like. The rebellion against authority figures? Parents are often antagonists, and I understand why this is, but it was very refreshing that in this book Elatsoe's parental/adult figures were so present & involved & like. There was this mutual respect between them that I adored. Also, she can talk to ghosts? And solves her cousin's murder by doing so! And she has a ghost dog. What's not to love?? (Oh, and she's ace, which I think I remember her mentioning explicitly! Also, the way Native culture is threaded through the book is just. Lovely.)

Am. Am I already at 5. How did. How did I get to 5 already 🥺 *kicks foot* Okay. I. Would not be me. If I didn't mention Nona the Ninth. The only reason I didn't rec the Locked Tomb series to you is bc you mentioned not wanting sci-fi, and while there are a lot of fantasy elements, it is. Very sci-fi. Anyway. I admit that I was not enthused about going into this book. Nona was originally going to be a novella, released between Harrow & Alecto, and when I heard it was getting full novel status I was. Kind of not happy. But oh my god. It was so good. The first half, or maybe even 2/3rds, of the book is very slice-of-life, with Nona going to school & planning her birthday party (despite being only 6mo old). You can tell there is more Plot happening, but Nona is v much oblivious and also being kept out of it. And then the last half/3rd is Plot-Plot-Plot. And my god. That ENDING. Alecto can't get here soon enough, I'm. I need it. I need it. OH. Okay, no, I was right when I said half bc this book is the first split POV, in that every other chapter / every couple chapters is narrated by Jod. (The God Emperor, John Gaius) while he tells his story. It was fascinating, I thought I would hate those chapters, but he is. Such a compelling antagonist, omg. Also there were more memes uwu. First book I ever annotated along with as I was reading, too!! I---

Stopping. Cutting myself off. Sorry; these books make me gush.

5. What genre did you read the most of?

Normally the answer to this is fantasy, but! I think Sci-Fi won out <3

6. Was there anything you meant to read, but never got to?

Yes! Both last year and this year I meant to read some of my spooky-ish books for October and did not. Specifically! I meant to read:

Carmilla & Laura by S.D. Simper -> I have so many of Simper's books on my kindle, but this one is a standalone, which I've been prioritizing so I don't go buy more books w/o reading the ones I have. This is a re-telling, which I was going to read with / around the copy of the original that I have.

Plain Bad Heroines - Emily M. Danforth -> I believe this is told in a dual timeline? After three people are killed at a girls' boarding school, it closes its doors. Over a century later, a bestselling book is written about the girls and inspires a horror-film adaptation, filmed on-site. And I'm just going to use the last line of the goodreads blurb, bc it makes me want to read it now: But as Brookhants opens its gates once again, and our three modern heroines arrive on set to begin filming, past and present become grimly entangled—or perhaps just grimly exploited—and soon it’s impossible to tell where the curse leaves off and Hollywood begins.

My Dearest Darkest by Kayla Cottingham -> One of the books I did start. I'm 9% in. It's a YA novel, also set at a boarding school. A group of girls accidentally summon an eldritch horror who promises to grant their every desire... for a price, which becomes steeper and steeper as time goes on.

The Lost Girls by Sonia Hartl -> Also YA! I got this one recently. A vampire turned by her boyfriend ends up falling for his latest victim, while plotting with his other exes to kill him.

There are a lot more I'm carrying into next year, but I am most disappointed in not getting to those!

Oh, and the Priory of the Orange Tree. (I'm. 20% through. This one is a Beast!!)

10. What was your favorite new release of the year?

I don't buy a lot of new releases for cost reasons---these days most of my books are purchased through ThriftBooks or eBook sales (I am subbed to a few sites which notify you of deals; my favorite of which is BookBub). However! I had Nona pre-ordered <3 So. Nona.

14. What books do you want to finish before the year is over?

any of them.

going into the new year with only 2 books read last/this year makes me very sad 🥺

18. How many books did you buy?

i plead the fifth

also i have no clue

20. What was your most anticipated release? Did it meet your expectations?

gotta go with Nona. i was a weird mix of both unenthused (bc this was supposed to be kind of a side novella) and enthused (bc i love this series and i wish i could do what Tamsyn Muir does) but it not only met but surpassed my expectations. Nona was... Nona's identity was a core mystery of the book; she was, more or less, a brand new character who never showed up in the previous two books, so i was. skeptical of going in, let alone to her pov.

but.

it was so good.

i. already gushed about it. i'm not. i'm not going to do it again.

24. Did you DNF anything? Why?

think i might be DNFing The Bookshop & the Barbarian. love the premise but i've noticed. a few issues in the text.

one i have def for sure DNF'd is Alma Katsu's The Deep. her books are horror + historical fiction. i finished The Hunger (which follows the Donner Party) but it was. very much a slog. i didn't like most of the characters, the horror was there but the reveal was lackluster to me. it got 3 stars tho bc it was very much a "this book isn't bad, just not for me" type of read? (there was an aspect i did like / even found kind of funny, but i--- hm. ig if you go in not knowing like, the names of the party members it would be a spoiler to say it, but otherwise i guess its... not a spoiler? idk??? i dunno, there was a subversion that i loved, but also i'm not super familiar with the specificities of the Donner Party so it may not have even been a subversion, if her telling was that accurate? i realize this is vague. apologies.)

The Deep is supposed to be abt the Titanic which. i love the Titanic, and i love ocean horror (it's a close second to arctic horror for me, and one day i want to find a book that scratches the same itch as The White Vault podcast does). but i realized early on that it wasn't a match for me, and i wish i had DNF'd The Hunger as well.

25. What reading goals do you have for next year?

my reading goals are the same every year---26 books. that's a book every other week! originally i used to set it to 52 but i've had too many bad reading years.

my secondary reading goal is to cut my TBR (of books i own) in half. i don't. i don't want to admit how many that is bc. just looking at the number on my kindle makes me feel bad.

#asks and answers #felinemotif #livvyreads #ask gaming

[vodid]

I HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS IF YOU DONT MIND—

How many words do you currently have on your next chapter of Vulnerability? If you’ve started it, of course, life can get rough sometime •~•

What inspired you to make your Vulnerability and The Obsidian King fanfictions? Personal experiences or seeing some other people doing some romantic stuff or maybe another fanfiction?

What’s the best part of writing these two stories? Developing the world, the actual characters, the romance?

What are your current favorite scenes in The Obsidian King fanfiction? Mine is when Prowl requests Jazz at that festival thing to welcome Prowl as king to play a piece that Jazz wrote himself. OH and when Prowl and Jazz stole sweets, that was really cute and adorable and omg I love them so much

Was there anything like really really big that you had to research for your two books that took awhile and maybe frustrated you a bit trying to figure out how to write that one scene or chapter?

Will you ever have a full cover design for your two fanfictions? I find it really interesting and cool when fanfiction writers put a cover at the beginning of their fanfiction as if it’s a real book! Of course if you’re never going to do that, it’s cool, I love all your fanart of them anyways and will just fan over it!

Where do you like to write? Like, in your bedroom, library, coffee shop? I personally like to write in my bedroom, all snuggled up and cozy. Except when I end up getting distracted by something in my room that takes me away from my story for a good 20 minutes or so -~-

LAST QUESTION I have so many, but a few of these are pretty big questions to answer so I’ll just send some more some other time ^-^

How does it feel knowing that people all around the world are reading your fanfictions and connecting with your story? Like, Vulnerability has 316 kudos and 4340 hits, and your Obsidian King fanfiction has 151 kudos and 1959 hits. Like- that’s a lot of people man, so how does that feel knowing you are pretty popular in terms of fanart and fanfiction writing?

WAH HELLO HSDGFHSDFS anon coming in clutch with these questions ok ok oh boy here we go. long ask, long answer \o/

currently, i'm at about 1.4k words. a big portion of that is the beginning/setup of the chapter and the rest is lots of dialogue. the average word count for the chapters seems to land above 6.5k words (ch2 was over 8k!) and since this chapter is probably going to be the most important of the entire fic, it may come out to be way more 🤔 we shall see

the obsidian king was purely because ppl kept getting curious if there was a fic, which made me think about it and it got me writing <3 it's not my proudest piece but i've had fun making it! it's an expansive universe and i'm afraid i may have bitten off more than i could chew and without the right prep, so i've lost a lot of confidence for it unfortunately

vulnerability on the other hand came after i binged the biggest blitzbee fics (such as roe, omtop, showstoppers). i told myself i probably wouldn't end up writing a fic for them but a good scene eventually occurred to me and i went with it. the more i fleshed out the setting, the more i realized how much i wanted to explore the raw concept of their ship that appears in many of their longfics. i wanted to dig into and challenge the typical "enemies in a life-or-death situation they must help each other get out of and end up in a secret relationship until blitzwing leaves the decepticons" — not because i didn't like that dynamic (are you kidding me i ADORE it) but because — copying and pasting an ao3 reply of mine — i wanted to take that and put my own huge spin to it. i wanted their growth to happen willingly and not out of necessity. a test to see, can this ship happen without a dire situation they're stuck in while staying true to their core characterizations? basically, is there a pattern to this ship for a reason or can it realistically work outside of that? it's been very fun :)

favorite thing about writing obkau is just all the idiots in love scenes. had me kicking my feet and smiling like a goof writing all that. the romance may be quick in that fic (speedrun!) but its for the shits n giggles n blushes — and on that note, my favorite scene also has to be the kitchen raid or perhaps the first time they were in the crystal gardens together :)

a lot of the research that's gone into obkau was more so for the au rather than the fic itself. things about crystals and their healing properties, names for ocs, city-states, lore doors to the lore mansion that needed a lore key to unlock, only obtainable through giant rants with my buddy mag until something clicks.

now, vulnerability is The Fic where the past 3 years of practice have been coming together and finally paying off. a lot of that practice was put into jazzprowl fics that unfortunately never made it out of my wips just yet, but they caused the many hours and days i spent studying plots, characterizations, natural and unique character dialogue, hidden details that circle back around... and that brings me to the next question: research! oh man...

i've brought up that i used suna_scribble's writing advice for reference, so i'll skip that part. that research did take me about a full month to look through and apply to my fic's plot, and i continued to develop it as time went on but it didn't particularly frustrate me. it did get tedious at times having to get certain points and details to come together but it was more of a fun challenge if anything. so along with that, in between chapters, i'd spend a couple weeks (legit hours a day straight) researching bpd for blitzwing. mounds and mounds of research. i looked at clinical sites, personal blogs of those with bpd, reddit/quora for outside (albeit very stigmatized but still important) perspectives, and admittedly, i glanced at fanfics to see how it was portrayed there (while still remaining critical of any inaccuracies). it is difficult to write an experience i've never had so figuring out that aspect probably took the most amount of effort to get through — and i'm still working on it! as the fic goes on, i hope for a better and more realistic portrayal of blitzwing's bpd, as it's pretty much become the driving force of the story and his character development

also i'm sure if anyone's been closely following my blog, they'd know i started learning german solely for the fact that i was trying to find a simple german phrase for blitzwing to say in my fic. and i now use my lil studies to sprinkle some more german into blitzwing's dialogue :)

i've thought about covers, mostly for one of the j/p wips i mentioned earlier, but not so much obkau or vulnerability. HOWEVER, i have thought of inserting illustrations into the obsidian king for certain scenes. like in between paragraphs or at the very end of a chapter. i never got around to exploring that more but with vulnerability, it could be a possibility too (i did make that comic but thats not something i'd insert in the fic itself)

i don't have many options for places to write but i've tried a good few spots. where i end up most is in the basement (basically our family room) with a bird video on for my cat. i've had a hard time writing in my bedroom and at places not my house (except back in high school, i would write ALL the time when i had the chance — if i wasn't already busy reading fic) but i once sat outside with my phone when it was drizzling and wrote out a good portion of chapter 1 for vulnerability. never been able to replicate that tho besides once bringing my laptop out on a sunny day. few times, i've done some writing in bed, typically before sleep, but most of it was reading over what i had already written and making small edits since i prefer to use my laptop for writing (felt that about the distraction tho lol guess in a way, it's easier to get distracted on my phone than my laptop)

in all honesty, those numbers pale in comparison to what my art and my old old writing back on ffn (no i am NOT showing you.) garnered (as well as other tf fics), but regardless of that, those are pretty big numbers and it will always feel weird if i think too hard about it. weird in a good way. it's easy to think of kudos and hits as just numbers but those are, in fact, people. individual people who decided to give your work a shot and drop a lil heart on it. out of the millions of things they could have possibly chosen, they chose yours.

call me humble, call me oblivious, but i really am not fully aware of my influence in the fandom. i don't know how i impact others, how many truly know me and like my work, how many find me to be cool or famous in our little corner of the world, how most even perceive me, and i certainly don't know the effects of my writing. i'm just a guy making art of stupid little gays and y'all are hitching a ride

feel free to ask more :)

#vulnerability fic

[koulakoukoula2003]

omgomgomg i am screaming (i am the anon who sent the rivetra ask) omg i never thought I'd meet someone who exactly had the same ideas as me omg i am freaking out hahahahhaaahha

ok first of all, 'no, I could've loved you so much more' is the perfect amount of pain i need omg that scene is so beautiful like heartbreakingly beautiful

and second, the choices you wrote on the last part i thought of it tooo!!!! Like everything, exactly the way i imagined!!! So imagine my excitement when I read it and finding out that we were thinking exactly the same omg!!!!! anyhoo, personally of all those choices, i'd like to combine the first and second one. Like Petra for some circumstances that i haven't thought of yet ends up being in the UNDERGROUND, working in a BROTHEL in order to FEND for her and HER SON. Imagine how Levi would feel when he finds out and realizes that this is like his childhood all over again. Like the nightmare he got out of, his son is now living it. And the hell his mother went through, the woman he loves is now suffering in it. Imagine his regret and the pain and the angst and this, i am squealing omg. But that's just for me. I'd also be very thrilled to read it your way. <3

Anyway i apologize for rambling too much about rivetra, but i really do appreciate you and i am very thankful that you indulge me in my angst cravings :)

OMG ANON LMFAO fewjrhgiu3oiq JFC I THOUGHT OF THAT TOO when I had just posted my previous reply to your ask I was like hmmmm why not both LMFAO

You, ma’am/sir/x, are a person of exquisite taste. You are a sadomasochistic little angel (like me) who loves torturing characters and crying over their torment at the same time LMFAO

Honestly having Levi going through this entire déjà vu, Petra going through the same shit his mom did and the same shit HE went through, now his son going through it as well like WE’RE GONNA BREAK THIS MAN SO BAD LMFAO

Ok ok ok ok imma write it like this. The heartbreaking scene happens (glad you like the dialogue, I use it in all my fics cuz im not creative at all and im out of ideas LMAO) and when she wakes up, she leaves him anyway (retiring and giving him the engagement ring and leaving).

Now, I gotta figure out why in the world would Petra wind up in the Underground 🤔🤔🤔 maybe she got abducted by some Underground crime lord that had beef with Levi and after finding out that Levi was engaged, he wanted to avenge him somehow, so he abducted his fiancé and put her in his ‘business’ 🤔🤔🤔

I GOT IT, I GOT IT, after Levi became a thug in the Underground, he went and found that brothel that his mom once worked in and he killed the owner of that entire business and freed the women who worked there. The owner of that business had a brother who rebuilt the business and wanted to avenge his brother’s death (whomst Levi had killed) so he abducted Levi’s fiancé.

I mean, I know Petra can def fight and fend for herself, but if she has no gear, no weapons at all and she’s surrounded by many many strong men that are twice her size, there’s really not much that she can do. Maybe she even tells them that Levi doesn’t care about her and that abducting her wouldn’t hurt him at all, but of course they don’t listen and they take her anyway while she’s actually pregnant to Levi’s child.

Goddammit anon, we’re evil as fuck LMFAO I love ppl like you, you know, we understand how important pain and struggle is in a story, because if there’s no pain and no struggle, then there is no story 🤷‍♀️it is that simple.

Ok imma write it like this (you probably got the entire thing spoilt) but TYSM for helping me figure it out, honestly, I had no idea what to do with Levi and Petra that’s why I kept them in the background (honestly i also kept it in the background cuz some rivetra fans are crazy af and i wanted no interaction with them but fuck it we die like men), but now I do know what to do AND IT’S THANKS TO YOU, ANON 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Hell, I might actually enjoy the rivetra of it more than the Erwin x OC LMFAO cuz the angst is stronger over there

Lemme know if I make you cry when I post those chapters COMMENTS HELP ME A LOT PLS. Those chapters will be exclusively rivetra bonus chapters and I’ll let y’all know by adding to the title of the chapter the word BONUS (I do it with all my fics).

Of course, that depends on me and my fight against writer’s block it.has.taken.me.two.days.to.finish.a.chapsklmdjdvngti3

also my buddy @shrekisshrimpthesimp wanted you to see this LMAO ENJOY THE PAIN I KNOW U LOVE IT WE ALL DO

#rivetra #levi ackerman x petral ral #levi ackerman #petra ral #come and read my fic and COMMENT ON IT #for the love of god pls comment LMAO

[sagemoderocklee]

2, 17, 25 and 33

Also, how are you feeling?

thank you for asking these questions and for checking on me! i'm recovering... it's been rough, ngl. I'm very grateful that I'm vaxxed, because it was definitely not an easy experience getting covid. I'm still sick--coughing, sore throat, weak, fatigued, general congestion and such. But tragically, I am back at work--I went back yesterday, and it's proving to be a challenge. I get winded easily--even talking--and I'm just generally so weak that being on my feet all day is much harder than before (and it wasn't exactly easy before with chronic pain). i am on the mend, and im hoping to get better as the days progress!

onto the questions:

2. Why do you write fanfiction?

oh man. that's a hard question. i have always loved writing. i did my first piece of independent creative writing when i was seven, and i just... always remember being into it. When I discovered fanfiction as a teen, it just kinda seemed like a fun, self-indulgent hobby, and then i got more invested in it and just kept doing it. I think it's like with any creative thing. it brings me joy. and i stick with fanfiction because even with all the work i put into my stories, it's still less work than original stories so it's easier to do when I'm coming home from work. plus it's fun to work within media i already love and have an attachment to, and i love the challenge of coming up with different scenarios for the same two ppl to fall in love in lol

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

A/B/O is def a top contender. Also soulmates. Hate soulmate AUs. utterly boring. cannot get over how bad the concept of like soulmate marks and all that shit is. i don't want my characters together by fate i want them together by choice. that's romance. only soulmate type thing i'd ever write is a deconstruction of the trope.

i actually have a deconstruction, but it is tragically a Harry Potter fic that will probably never see the light of day given JKR is a terf, a racist, antisemitic, etc.

if i can ever figure out a good idea for a GaaLee soulmate deconstruction, i will, but so far HP was just so primed for it--i mean given that love potions exist, it provides such a good base for discussing the concept of love and free-will, and applying that to the fandomized concept of soulmates... anyways im rambling.

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

Yes, actually! I have a lot of stuff for Absolution that I might even post someday. I have two side-stories that were just writing exercises to help me out of a slump/work through a problem in a scene. Both are just scenes that took place when Gaara wasn't around. One is between Lee and Temari, one is between Lee and Kankuro.

but I'm very attached to the Absolution timeline, so I also have some stuff in my head for after the events of the fic itself, so it's very possible I'll write some extra stuff to share if folks are interested in seeing it.

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

Uh. I don't know why I'm so stumped by this, but I really cannot think of anything. I think I made it pretty clear that most of my work is research heavy, so I honestly cannot think of... anything else I'd wanna say? My brain is also mush, so maybe there's something but it's really not jumping out at me.

EDIT: i figured out what i wanna say for this!

All of my canon-verse fics (TAoL, Absolution, The Ballad, PomSun, 13S etc) are essentially just AUs of each other. It’s all the same versions of the world, the OCs all exist across each fic whether you see them or not, and the only difference really is just the story that’s unfolding.

Like in TAoL Rurriwa is never under attack by pirates because of what’s happening elsewhere in the shinobi world, but Rurriwa exists, and if there’s any characters from Rurriwa that get mentioned or show up (hint this is a spoiler) they also exist, they just aren’t relevant to TAoL.

So I tend to put lil easter eggs in fics, like name droping OCs or places. Ruri (not Temari and Shikamaru’s baby), who first appears in TAoL--she’s the fried abalone maker Lee befriends at the fishmarket--has a cameo in Absolution. She doesn’t get named in Absolution, mostly to avoid confusion since she and Ruri (the baby) share a name, but she’s the woman at the festival that Temari buys mackerel from. ‘Ruri’ means lapis lazuli, which is a reference to Karura, and per my worldbuilding, Karura is from Gyokukakushin, and so Ruri is a common name in that region of Wind because lapis lazuli is a very important stone in Wind overall--ya know as an example of all this interconnectedness

#ask game answers

[siriusmydeer]

Hi hi hi, First thing, I legit love your theme sm-

Second thing, I was wondering if I could maybe request a fic where Fred is best friends with a gryffindor fem!reader who try’s to stay in the shadows but he and George are basically her best friends who she loves with all her heart bc they treat her kindly and don’t try to over push her limits and Fred always try’s to check up on her every other night because he wants to make sure she doesn’t get too lonely (they have a really fluffy relationship) and time skip to him asking her to the Yule ball and then dancing with her in private where they can still hear the music but where ppl can’t see because he knows she doesn’t like crowds and idrk just fluffy and they end up kissing or smth

Anyway, have a good day and don’t feel pressured to do this okay! Drink some water and eat some food.

hi, darling!!! thank u so much for the request, also if anyone else has sent me a request i’ll be working on them this weekend. i hope this is what you wanted :))

not a yule ball

fred weasley x fem!gryffindor!reader

summary: fred and you have your own yule ball.

warnings: food, mentions of loneliness, mentions of claustrophobia, mentions of underage drinking, mentions of alcohol, fred being a sweet heart, TOOTH ROTTING FLUFF, mutual pining but freddie being a simp, a KISS, a light slap (like on the chest?), mentions of spiking drinks with alcohol and mentions of a panic attack

word count: 2.2k

“when are you gonna tell her, mate?” george said looking at his ginger twin. “tell who, what?” he said defensively, afraid that he had made his feelings to obvious. “are you forgetting we’re magical twins? i know everything.” george said smugly, smirking and looking back at his newest invention while fred went to lay on his four poster bed.

fred was about to defend himself, lying at the fact his twin caught him dreaming about his crush who also happened to be his bestfriend, besides george of course. “you can barely stomach the thought of her getting pranked, i know you better than yourself it’s not that hard to tell” his twin looked back to his him as fred grumbled something under his breath.

he was about to continue his plea to his fiery headed twin as you, you’re gorgeous locks framing your face, your perfect coloured irises looked for him first, the way your skin looked good in every shade of lighting and the way your figure made its way over to his sitting beside his laying figure.

“you alright, freddie? you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” you said looking at the red head confused. his eyes widened before sitting up next to you. “yeah, you alright love? look a bit fidgety.” he said as you were wringing your fingers together and george smirked over to fred before getting up going to the common room.

“alright, i guess. for transfiguration mcgonagall partnered me with people i don’t really know so i have to meet them in the library soon. i dunno, it’s stupid m’just nervous” you mumbled, embarrassed before looking at him. he scooted closer to you and placing a hand on your arm.

“darling, if you want i can talk to her, i mean she favours us gryffindors and i can tell her i’ll lay off the pranks and stuff?” he said quickly before adding, “i just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” he said in a sorrowful tone, rubbing his hand up and down your arm before pulling you into a hug. his hands rested on your waist as your arms winded their way around his neck and your head on his shoulder.

“no..no... m’fine i’ll just get over it, i have to go but i’ll see you and georgie later?” you said standing up, smoothing down your skirt and walking towards the door. “yeah?” “of course darling, i couldn’t leave you alone even if i wanted too.” and with that you were off to the library. a few seconds later the other mischievous twin apparated into the dorm and pouncing on fred’s bed.

“damn, didn’t know you were that whipped.” george added, with a laugh. “oh, bugger off!” the long haired ginger, yelled hitting george with a pillow.

later that evening fred couldn’t keep his mind off you, and your well being. he always knew that you tended to distance yourself, normally not on purpose but it was a habit that he always wanted to help you break. he knew like it was written on the back of his hand that large crowds made you nervous, he also knew that that when you were nervous you would pull on your favourite ring he made you for your birthday. you tended to like things homemade things rather than store bought, when you were nervous you would bounce your leg to the point where he would have to grab your leg to stop it.

he memorized every quirk, every indication of a mood change and he knew when things were good or bad. he didn’t think he was whipped, he thought this was what friends normally for other friends. that was until he saw you flip your hair a certain way, or loosen that gryffindor tie of yours and he absolutely wanted to kiss you senseless. he hadn’t told you, or george for that matter because he didn’t want to ruin the strong friendship you had built since second year when he helped you through a panic attack after snape had embarrassed you infront of the whole class.

‘maybe i should check on her... i don’t want to be to clingy?’ he thought to himself.

he opted to go to your dormitory, biding past the charm on the staircase and knocking on your door twice, an indication it was him before seeing you on your lay on your twin bed chipping away at your nail polish. “anything you wanna talk about?” he said before hopping on your bed sitting back on your headboard.

“it wasn’t bad, just frustrating.” you said looking into his brown irises through your dark eyelashes. “cormac kept speaking over me, he just kept interrupting and it was frustrating.” you mumbled before looking back at your fingernails.

“you had mclaggen in your group? absolutely not, i’m talking to mcgonagall.” he said, trying to stand up but not before you grabbed his hand pulling it back down. he got flustered at the completely innocent gesture, face flaring up, stomach getting tingly and his heart feeling like it could burst from his chest.

“you freddie, aren’t doing anything.” you sigh, “i’ll just work through it, it’s only a few days.” you giggled before adding, “plus if you’re coming to check on me, then i really don’t mind.” you say scrunching your nose in his direction before padding over to your desk to grab something.

if fred was flustered before, everything that had just occurred inside of his body exhilarated one hundred times harder. you WANTED him to come see you, and check on you. fred was of course, quite the flirt and he mostly new what to say to girls. but with a girl as gorgeous, and caring as you, you had him completely speechless.

“hey- you ate today right? drank water, took care of yourself? i know you forget sometimes, angel...” he said sheepishly fumbling with his ring-clad fingers looking at his lap. you smiled at his ability for care for someone, you of all people, “yeah... yeah, hermione brought me stuff.” you looked at him before grabbing a makeup wipe and looking in the mirror.

“i should- i should go me and george.... are working on a new prank, so i’m gonna go.” he said before walking to the door,

“see you tomorrow, freddie?”

“see you tomorrow, darling.”

the first bit of the semester quickly approached, the sooner you were to christmas, the sooner was... the yule ball. a ball with teenagers, dancing, fancy clothes and people trying to subtly drink alcohol... i mean who wouldn’t love it? you. you definitely did not love it. big sweaty crowds, with music you probably wouldn’t like, and drink spiking with god knows what liquor.

i mean as long as the clothes were ugly you definitely didn’t mind, and seeing fred in a suit was something you also definitely did not mind either but the claustrophobia of it all really made you want to lay in your bed and have a nice and long nap.

george’s reminders of fred’s pining definitely didn’t help either, fred wanted to go with you of course but he also knew that you definitely weren’t fond of big groups. so he had a brewing idea bubbling in that gorgeous mind of his, and the room of requirement. he had went to george with the idea hoping that it was a way to have a fun time in your own way, the more sensitive twin of the bunch agreed it was great idea.

after working on a 4ft scroll for potions, you were about to go find your 2 prankster bestfriends when you heard a double knock at the door and then the creak of it opening. you’re favourite fiery redhead walked in without his normal strut, and padded in nervously with his gaze strictly at the floor before sheepishly looking at you. “are you busy..?” he said before walking closer.

you set your quill down and look back at him and cock an eyebrow, “no...why?” you said nervously, hoping he wasn’t about to prank you considering he hadn’t since the beginning of term.

“i wanted to take you somewhere.., that’s if your not busy” he said interlocking his fingers together looking back at you. “no i’ve just done all my homework..” you stuck your hand out, “take me to the secret man cave where you test all your pranks on the innocent.” you said giggling while he interlocks your fingers together.

you guys roam around the castle till he guides you up the astronomy tower, the sky painted hues of red and orange.

“i’ve never looked at the view from up here...” you say flashing your irises towards him then back at the sunset. “yeah, it’s stunning.” he says, staring directly at your (BEAUTIFULLY CARVED) side profile, “oh yeah, the sunsets alright too” he said with a chuckle, untangling your fingers and brining his arm around your waist.

you look back at the lanky red head before lightly slapping your hand against his chest and looking up at him. “such a flirt, weasley.” you say looking back at the fading sky.

“go to the ball with me.”

“well that’s demanding.”

“well, get a pretty dress, do your hair all nice or don’t you look gorgeous at every moment of the day” fred wasn’t sure where this surge of gryffindor confidence came from, but he wasn’t exactly going to back down now.

“and don’t worry we’re not gonna be around sweaty, horny teenagers... i’ve got a surprise.” he says looking at you with smirk, oh he new you all too well.

“yeah freddie, i’ll go to a not yule ball with you”

then night was tonight, a pretty dress that excentuated every dip, curve and line of your body. you chose gryffindor red for house pride, even thought nobody would see it besides fred. you had done your makeup to perfectly match your completion, and done a hair style that exactly matched the hair type that laid on your head. your tresses, makeup and dress all compliment each-other. you look in the mirror a little more, wringing your fingers together before looking up at the door.

fred opened the door, leaning on its frame. his hair was long, not styled but you had always liked it better messy anyways. he was dressed in brown and black dress robes and if you thought fred was attractive before? you really thought we was beautiful now.

“you’re-... wow. everything is wow, you’re just so beautiful” fred said, looking you up and down analyzing your hair, face, and dress. “freddie, you look... really good” you nervously laughed before walking up to his lanky figure.

he grabbed your hand and brought you through the hallways, he also had made you cover your eyes and guided you once you reached a certain hallway. your movements were put to a halt when he whispered to you that were were almost there, you stood before a few seconds before you heard his footsteps again. ‘was he.... pacing?’ you thought to yourself. he grabbed your hand again before bringing you in a room.

“okay... open your eyes”

you quickly opened your eyes, a giant ballroom, with a instruments charmed to play your favourite music and fred to your left grinning like an idiot.

“oh my merlin.... did you do all this for me?” you say looking at him in the eyes, eyebrows scrunched and tearing welling in your eyes. “sweaty teenagers, bad music and spiked drinks with fire whisky aren’t really your favourite but i still wanted you to have a good evening. so i opted for this.” he said before looking at the floor then back at you.

“fred, i cannot fathom how amazing you are.” you said with a squeal before kissing his cheek and running to the middle of the floor. “c’mon now! don’t waste the music, dance with me!”

and with that, he was off. some songs were fast, some songs were slow. but then your favourite slow song came and he knew no matter how much protesting his brain was saying, george’s little voice was much to over powering. “i can see those gears in your head moving, care to tell me what your thinking about?”

“you.”

“i’m going to need you to elaborate, please.” she always has a smooth way with words, he thought.

“everything, you’re everything. you mean everything to me.” fred definitely wasn’t a nervous, butterfly in the stomach and flustered guy but for for you we was tripping over his feet and becoming beet red at the slightest touch from you.

“kiss me.” for being such a closed off girl, you sure were bold. you said it more of a statement rather than a question but fred didn’t care, in that moment he only wanted to kiss the girl that also wanted to kiss him.

he moved his hand to your cheek, stroking it with his thumb. he moved forward engaging you in a kiss, it was slow, passionate and it was something you had been both waiting for. you pulled away for a second to let your lungs breath but not before he captured your lips again moving faster, his grip on your waist tighted.

“merlin, i’ve been waiting to do that”

#regulus black x reader #ron weasley x reader #ginny weasley x reader #pansy parkinson x reader #blaise zabini x reader #fred weasly x reader #hermione granger x reader #harry potter x y/n #harry potter x reader #neville longbottom x reader #lily evans x reader #james potter x reader #sirius black x reader #harry potter smut #george weasley x reader #draco malfoy x y/n #james potter x y/n #sirius x y/n #draco malfoy imagine #harry potter fanfiction #fred weasley #fred and george

[gwynrielendgame]

Gwyn x Nesta

This is not as edited as my other fics but I was just too excited to post. I would like to comment that I pretty much think every character is bisexual unless stated otherwise lol. I also recognize this piece could come off problematic (ppl thinking this is fetishization) I personally don’t think it is, but I welcome constructive criticism. I am bisexual and a SA survivor so I felt comfortable writing about those topics considering I have personal experience with both.

Thank you for the idea: @mercurianbisous @genya-berdara

“Hey Nes.”

Nesta jumped from her spot on the couch, closing her book as she did so. A small smile graced her face as she realized Gwyn was standing at the entry of the House of Wind library.

“Hey Gwyn, you scared the shit out of me.” Nesta chuckled as she put her book away. She patted the spot next to her, beckoning for Gwyn to join her. Gwyn knew she looked awkward standing there, twisting her fingers. Gwyn hesitantly took the spot.

“I have a favor to ask.” Gwyn managed to spit out. She needed to start somewhere and knew that Nesta would never judge her for what she was about to ask. She might turn her down, but she would never laugh.

Nesta simply raised a singular eyebrow at Gwyn. She leant back on the couch and flourished her hand as if to tell Gwyn to continue.

“I am only asking you because I know you are not interested in women, which is precisely why I cannot ask Emerie-“

“You are interested in Emerie?” Nesta asked nonchalantly. Gwyn felt relief at the lack of judgement, but annoyed at the interruption. She needed to get this out now or she never would.

“No. Listen to everything before you answer.” Nesta gave a shrug which Gwyn took as her agreement.

“I want to practice kissing, but there are no males that I trust enough to ask and I cannot ask females from the library. I figure if I practice enough it will not be so anxiety inducing for me. With everything that happened to me, I think it might be easier to start kissing females and work my way up to males. I think once I can kiss a male then I will know my trauma does not have that power over me and this is my really convoluted way of asking you to kiss me.” She snapped her mouth shut the second she finished rambling. She searched Nesta’s face for any emotion that might give away how she feels about the matter.

“ I did not think you fancied women.” Nesta said plainly.

“I suppose I have not paid much attention to any romance. But I would say I value the person over body parts.” Gwyn shrugged but her face was bright red from embarrassment.

“Okay, lay one on me.”

She gave a startled look to her friend, who was handling this much better than Gwyn was. The ease with which she accepted this made Gwyn inherently suspicious.

“Do you fancy women?” She looked at Nesta through narrowed eyes.

“Not particularly. But I love you Gwyn, and Cass won’t mind especially if it is to help you.” A very rare, coveted soft look blessed Nesta’s face. Gwyn found herself wanting to cry. She had not felt this type of companionship in years.

“I do not want you to feel obligated as my friend. I understand if you want to say no.”

“Do I appear as someone that feels obligated often?” Nesta asked with raised eyebrows. It made Gwyn giggle a little. Nesta grabbed Gwyn’s hand, forcing her to look at Nesta.

“Lay one on me, love.” Nesta’s face was beautiful as she smiled. It made Gwyn start to feel a little nervous. They were really doing this.

“I am going to start with my eyes open. It is easier to remind myself who I am kissing.”

“Okay.” Again, a soft smile graced her face as she used a soft voice. Normally Gwyn hated pity, but she appreciated Nesta being sensitive to the situation.

Even though her heart was beating out of her chest, she set her hands on Nesta’s shoulders and focused in on her lips. They were a standard set of lips. Medium sized, and smooth. Gwyn took one last deep breathe and shoved her lips against Nesta’s. They both could admit the kiss was awkward at best. Gwyn would take awkward over horrific any day though. She kept her eyes wide open while Nesta’s were closed. One may not even call it a kiss, really just two pairs of lips not touching. Neither of them moved a muscle. Gwyn realized it was because Nesta was letting Gwyn have complete control over the situation and that made her smile through the kiss. Once Gwyn was certain that no unwanted memories were waiting to overwhelm her, she puckered her lips and actually kissed her before pulling away.

“How was that?” Nesta asked.

“Terrifying.” Gwyn said with a grin. “Let’s try again.” She gave a sheepish look after a moments thought. “If that is fine with you?”

Nesta rolled her eyes before closing them and comically puckering her lips. Gwyn once again giggled before going in for a second kiss. Once again she started with her eyes open, but once her heart calmed down and she stopped worrying about the past, she closed her eyes. There was something comforting about kissing Nesta, it was not attraction or chemistry. Perhaps, love though. An intimate expression of platonic love that squeezed at Gwyn’s heart. It was easy to ignore the past when the scent of Nesta and books were so overwhelmingly comforting to Gwyn. When the feel of Nesta’s hands were so familiar. Or when her even breathes were so recognizable. Gwyn knew there was not a safer spot in the world than right by Nesta’s side. Gwyn decided to be bold and flick Nesta’s bottom lip with the tip of her tongue. It caused Nesta to squeak and open her eyes for a second before settling back into the kiss. Slowly, they both started deepening the kiss. A swipe of a tongue here, a turn of the head there. It was a nice kiss, mostly exploratory. Simply, Gwyn discovering her boundaries, deciding what might be too much. Gwyn lifted her hands to grip Nesta’s face, so that the kiss might be less awkward. Nesta kept her hands in her lap which Gwyn was grateful for.

The doors to the library burst open with an exuberant Cassian. Gwyn all but threw herself against the opposite side of the couch.

“Nes, I was thinking for tonight-“ he stopped abruptly at the sight he just walked in on. Gwyn thought his brain might be malfunctioning from system overload based on the expression on his face.

Gwyn suddenly felt very guilty. This must have looked much worse than it actually was to him. Gwyn briefly glanced at Nesta. While Gwyn was stiffly sitting on the sofa, Nesta was nonchalantly leaning against the arm of the chair from her spot. A small smirk rested on her lips. Cassian’s head had been comically bouncing back and forth from Nesta and Gwyn before resting on the latter.

“Are you trying to steal my mate?” He was trying to muffle a laugh and failing. Gwyn hid her face behind her hands as it flamed a brighter red.

“This is not what it looks like!” Gwyn muttered into her hands. Cassian sauntered right over to the couch and plopped himself between the girls.

“Do explain.” He nudged Gwyn with a smile on his face. She was glad he was not angry, but the last thing she wanted to do was explain. She looked to Nesta for help who ended up sighing very loudly.

“I was helping Gwyn with some intimacy problems.” Was all she gave as a response. Cassian dropped the smile and looked at Nesta with such a serious look that Gwyn wondered if she misinterpreted Cassian’s emotions. Maybe he was mad after all.

“Is Gwyn a better kisser than me?” He said it so seriously that all Gwyn could do was groan. Nesta giggled, which did not happen often, so Gwyn knew Nes was highly amused by the situation while Gwyn was mortified.

“Gwyn is the best kisser.” Nesta said earnestly.

Gwyn rolled her eyes as that as she continued to try and press herself as far into the couch as she possibly could. Cassian’s wings were still almost touching her and all she wanted was to disappear from this mortifying situation forever.

“Damn, now I want one. What do I have to do to get a Gwyn kiss?”

The teasing was too much for Gwyn to bare.

“Stooooop.” Gwyn whined as the mated couple tried to mask their laughter.

“Please, Gwyn?” He even puckered his lips at her. She knew he was joking, but she wanted it to stop and knew exactly how to get him to stop. Besides, this is the next level up on the intimacy scale for Gwyn with Cassian being a male and all. She quickly pressed her lips against his and pulled away just as fast.

A second later she realized how impulsive it was. She began forming an apology to both of them when she noticed they were both smiling genuinely. Gwyn rested her hands on her burning cheeks and looked away.

“I agree, Nes. She is the best.” Cassian replied as he threw both arms around the females shoulders.

“You two are the worst.” Gwyn whined as she realized they had teamed up against her to get her to kiss Cassian.

“I think this is means for celebration Gwyn.” Nesta ignored her complaints and continued smiling. “You kissed two people today and one was a male. Big accomplishments.” Gwyn huffed but could not stop the small smile that spread her lips.

“That is good.” Gwyn relented. Secretly she was glad that neither of them were upset.

“Before you know it, you will have made out with the entire night court inner circle.” Cassian joked. “I bet you could even manage to steal a kiss from Azriel’s shadows.”

“Well, they do like me.”

“Everyone likes you Gwyn. You are awesome.” Nesta held Cassian’s hand as they all sat on the couch.

Gwyn felt a punch to a stomach as she looked at their hands. It was longing, she discovered. She wanted to sit on a couch holding someone’s hand. She wanted to be so comfortable with a person that every move they made was in sync like Nes and Cass seemed. She sighed. One day she would get her happily ever after. There really was no rush.

#nesta acheron #gwyneth berdara #cassian #acosf #acotar

[julemmaes]

Honey extra - The Sex Playlist + a little scene

Elide Lochan x Lorcan Salvaterre roommates au

A/N: I posted part five on the same day acosf was released, so if you didn’t see it, go read it, cause it’s.. long and it took me years to finish and I saw it didn’t get the same attention the previous parts did, and yeah

fic masterlist

this takes place somewhere between part five and six

Elide was one of the few lucky girls whose period was never too bothersome. The pain was always very bearable and only lasted a few hours, and most of the time, it wasn't even a real pain, just a slight pressure in the lower abdomen. She could go about her day without having to stop every few minutes because of a cramp - unlike Aelin, who died every month as if someone was stabbing her in the guts.

She also didn't have a heavy flow, which she would always thank the gods for, if they existed. She couldn't understand how her friends could put up with such misfortune.

Not that they could do otherwise, of course, but she was always in awe when they told her about their period-catastrophes. She knew that if it were her turn to suffer like that every time, she would rip her uterus out of her belly.

And at that moment, lying in a fetal position on Lorcan's bed, she wasn't entirely sure she'd be able to keep from doing it herself before the cramping stopped. Because for some strange reason, her body had decided to turn against her this month.

The last two weeks had gone by in the blink of an eye, she and Lorcan had fucked on every surface in the house and between work and classes and studying, Elide had gotten very little sleep. Considering also that every time she lay down, her boyfriend would slip in behind her and she couldn't say no to herself, to that pleasure so exhaustive and ecstatic, it made her forget that her body needed rest.

It had taken Lorcan to remind her that they couldn't go on like this.

So when she'd found a bloodstain in her underwear the previous night, just before going to bed after her shift at the diner, she hadn't worried so much and had thought that they'd finally take a few days off and maybe her body would calm down.

Elide wasn't a fan of period sex and the few times she'd done it she'd been so grossed out that she'd risked barfing in the middle of it. It simply wasn't for her.

What she hadn't expected though, had been cramps so strong they had pulled her from sleep in the middle of the night. Elide had gotten up and gone to the bathroom because she'd started moving around too much and didn't want to wake up the boy sleeping blissfully next to her. She had started pacing the living room, trying to figure out what the fuck she was in such pain for.

When it felt like someone had stuck both hands in her uterus and was digging their nails into her ovaries, Elide had knelt on the floor by the couch, leaning forward with her fists pressed against her stomach.

Lorcan had found her in that position around half past four.

To say he'd been scared out of his wits would be an understatement.

He'd thrown himself to the floor beside her almost immediately, all traces of weariness gone the second he'd heard her whimper in pain and seen that Elide was biting her lower lip so hard it was drawing blood.

When they had established that it was just her cycle, Lorcan had taken her back to his bed and now they were both lying between the soft blankets she had given him.

They had both been puzzled by this new symptom. After all, Lorcan had never seen her suffer from her period in all the years they had lived together and neither of them had expected it to be any different this time.

Elide had had to joke that it was the fault of his huge cock that had literally stabbed her in the uterus, and Lorcan had apologised in earnest, looking at her with wide eyes and pulling away a little, as if he really felt guilty. She had burst out laughing and then pulled him to her again, taking one of his arms and putting it around her body so that his big hand covered her belly.

He'd started moving his fingers over her lower abdomen, applying pressure from time to time when she seemed to tense up due to a cramp. It helped, somehow, to have him there to massage her. To hold her to his chest as they cuddled.

Now, Elide kept her eyes closed, his head resting on top of hers as they both dozed. Or at least she thought so, because Lorcan spoke, his rough, low voice too close to her ear, "How do you feel?"

She sighed, pulling her knees up slightly. His legs immediately followed her, as if they couldn't bear to be away from her body. She smiled, "A little better." then yawned, "I guess it's the fact that I was already tired as it is, what with university and all."

Lorcan hummed behing her, "I see," then he moved, pulling away only briefly, "maybe we should take it slower, with everything I mean."

Elide nodded slowly. She turned her head towards him, still with her eyes closed, but pursed her lips forward, silently inviting him to kiss her. He chuckled, but a second later their mouths clashed in a simple peck on the lips.

The music playing from the speakers suddenly changed from the sweet melody of a love song to something quite different.

"Cause I eat up for a while, let me through. The shake, the screaming aloud, I'ma fool. In my face you shake, leaking everywhere."

Elide's eyes went wide, "Lorcan!" she let go a surprised chuckle, "What is this?" she turned to him fully and could finally see the satisfied smirk on his face.

"It's a playlist I made yesterday," he then lowered his voice an octave, looking at her lips, "For when we can take the time to think about music instead of jumping right into it," he murmured.

Elide swallowed, nodding slowly, continuing to listen to the song.

Definitely very different from what he normally provided her with.

"I like it," she continued, then draped her arms underneath his, resting her head against his chest as he pulled her close to him and lay on his back, making her lie completely on top of him, "our sex playlist." she smiled, playing with the ends of his hair.

Lorcan hummed again and Elide felt it throughout her whole body when he said, "I called it 'elide'."

She had to force herself to calm the hot spirits that that new information had triggered in her body, but she was glad to know that he wouldn't be able to use that playlist with other people, considering it bore her name.

"I like it even more now," she confessed under her breath.

His arms tightened around her back and then his hands began to rub her lower back, where he knew she was feeling the most pain. Elide fell silent, enjoying his warm hands on her skin, and only had time to thank him before sleep beckoned her again.

The playlists

01.02

1. The Fixer – Brent Morgan

2. Why iii Love The Moon – PHONY PPL

3. Couch Potato – Jakubi

4. Anyway – Noah Kahan

5. comethru – Jeremy Zucker

6. Why Not Me – Forrest.

7. Loving – Surfaces

8. always, i’ll care – Jeremy Zucker

9. Like Strangers Do – AJ Mitchell

10. Yellow Lights – Harry Hudson

11. Glue Myself Shut – Noah Kahan

12. Colour Me – Juke Ross  

13. Lovesong (The Way) – Charlie Burg

14. Lucky Love – Michael Seyer

15. Freak In Me – Mild Orange

elide

1. Skin – Rihanna

2. Do It For Me – Rosefield

3. Body Party – Ciara

4. When We – Tank

5. Rockstar – Rihanna

6. F***in Wit Me – Tank

7. On Top – Trey Songz

8. Acquainted – The Weeknd

9. Freaky – Gemaine

10. Make You Feel – Alina Baraz

11. First Fuck - 6LACK & Jhené Aiko

12. Young God - Halsey

13. How Many Times – DJ Khaled

14. Fuck You All The Time – Jeremih

18.02

1. I Don't Know Me Like You Do – Low Hum

2. I Don't Wanna Be Okay Without You – Charlie Burg

3. Why Can't I Have You – Gloria Laing

4. If I Go, I'm Goin – Gregory Alan Isakov

5. Let Me In – Skinny Living

6. Reason To Hate You – Rhys Lewis

7. Be Your Man – Rhys Lewis

8. Yours – Jake Scott

9. Loved Us More – Munn

tog tag list (if you wanna be removed or added just send an ask or dm me)

@maastrash�� @ireallyshouldsleeprn​ @sleeping-and-books​ @ladywitchling​ @thegoddessofyou​ @ghostlyrose2​ @claralady​ @anne-reads​ @sayosdreams​ @perseusannabeth​ @letstakethedawn​ @simping4bookboisngrls​ @post-it-notes33​ @booksstorm​ @nalgenewhore​ @queen-of-demons-and-hell​ @miserablemusings​ @lanyjoy-13 @vasudharaghavan​ @cupcakey00​ @bri-loves-sunflowers​ @queen-of-glass​ @thewayshedreamed​ @the-regal-warrior​ @fangirlprincess09​ @januarystears​ @rowaelinismyotp​

#honey #elorcan #elide lochan #lorcan salvaterre #elorcan roommates au #tog #throne of glass #tog fic

[plounce]

a thing i am doing right now is i am writing a post-canon cardassia garashir fic BUT it is wholly made up of primary sources and secondary sources discussing garashir in later cardassian society because in present canon cardassia is like homophobic so their relationship was kept verrrrry private, so a lot of historians in the future debate over whether garak and bashir were together or not. ambiguity and all that. im a history major. all the secondary sources are post-post-canon when cardassia is like. more socially liberal about certain things, where the writers are reflecting on that period of cardassian history. anyway these are the sections i have written / planned so far

bashir's will that asks for certain documents to be preserved “for the sake of historical preservation, so that future generations may know Elim not just as a patriotic statesman but as a warm and loving man.” <-- homo

a book on present-canon cardassian homophobia, going into the social history. this section got really long because i talked about trans cardassians navigating around homophobia a lot. bc the homophobia is from a place of “you have to have children” but like (binary) trans ppl are okay so like those people who marry in ways that don’t appear childbearing tended to have children really quick to escape that. but yeah i still need to finish this bit bc i need to actually talk about the homophobia not just the trans people

list of cardassian homophobic slurs. yeah lmao i know. we have fun here. one of the ones for “lesbians” is “friend of sapohi” because i couldn’t resist making up lizard alien sappho

first physical letter garak sends bashir post-canon when there’s power shortages and bashir is stationed a long way away. they’re not together yet. sort of an introduction. these letters are one of the only personal documents garak left behind bc he’s paranoid and very private

a federation relief worker’s notes on a briefing about power rationing, which is some further explanation about why the fuck star trek people would be writing letters on paper instead of their weird ipads

second letter garak sends bashir. idk what’s gonna be in that yet but i do know garak says “your doodle of me was charming but inaccurate”. just one side of the conversation bc bashir kept his letters from garak while garak read the letters bashir sent him, memorized them, and destroyed them for security reasons.

record request emails from a cardassian history graduate student to a federation archivist asking for access to any messages from the o’briens about bashir but oh no :( the o’briens only marked for archival some videos of their grandkids :( and also a video of a random cardassian kid from bashir? weird. this one was really fun

one of the last messages bashir sent o’brien through starfleet comms that’s like right before he leaves for cardassia. nothing Concrete but definitely Hmmm-able

an excerpt from a book about the history of offworlders on cardassia, which includes a letter from one of garak’s political opponents as an example of reactionary xenophobia. basically it’s just a letter where this dude is very rude and homophobic about bashir. but it’s fine because he uses fake homophobia

political cartoon where bashir is portrayed as a seducer trying to get cardassia to assimilate into the federation. meant to be kind of funny imo. might commission karin to draw it for me. i think bashir tried to frame it in their house but garak like super hated it but idk if i can squeeze that in

transcript of an interview bashir gave on his views on cardassian politics, trying to be like “haha im just here to be a doctor, im not trying to be a spy or anything, but yeah i do agree with the people who like social programs and the rights of the disadvantaged etc etc”

an excerpt from a speech parmak gives like a decade after that after a piece of orphan rights legislation got passed that thanks bashir for the consultation and support. heheh

third letter from garak to bashir. probably like. subtly indicates that their relationship is on the verge of romantic. the last letter

a negative book review of a book that argues that garak and bashir were together. the review is just like “terrans are just Like That!!” plus some other stuff like “they lived together bc nobody would rent a house to an offworlder in this era!!” and stuff like that. im looking forward to writing this

the entries on garak and bashir from a children’s book on cardassian heroes. very saccharine and glossy and patriotic. bashir especially is like “once he stepped foot on cardassian soil he knew he loved this land” etc etc. amusingly inaccurate

the speech of one of garashir’s grandchildren (they take in some wards - non-blood related adoption is formally recognized on cardassia after the wards are of age) while accepting some medical award that thanks her grandfather elim garak for the support and her beloved elder julian bashir for his advice and support

a foreword from a book of poetry written by one of their GREAT-grandchildren who thanks his grandfather for the love of literature passed down to him. because Oh You Know

idk where this will go but cardassians discussing a federation documentary about The Heroes Of The Dominion War that says “oh yeah bashir went on to become the first naturalized citizen of cardassia. elim garak became an important figure in the new cardassian government. they were common law married” and the cardassians being like THEY REALLY SAID THAT? and some cardassians being mad and some cardassians being like Someone’s Fucking Saying It Finally!

still thinking of other sections that go a bit more into their children/married life. maybe also some other incidents. the thing about this is it’s such a fun little exercise to think of different ways to angle into this relationship and this society through surviving primary sources and variations on secondary sources. it’s a puzzle though because i want a lot of differentiation

im thinking ill conclude it with like their great great grandchild releasing some documents from them that confirm their relationships that were meant to published like a couple centuries later when hopefully cardassia was more accepting. because i want gay people to get the last laugh and assert their places in history and regain control over how society sees them. yk

sorry this post is like so insanely long and also kind of deranged in concept. im kind of fucking tired of my main twitter being this place where i have to remember that 21k people follow me (because i post c*tcrumb art on my main twtter) that im trying to make tumblr a place where i can just run my mouth yk. anyway. hey i got really into ds9 in the second week of march

#chirps #long post

[stxrshxpxd]

a gra fic! :)

*

Pairing: 2010s graham coxon x reader

Word count: 2.383

Warnings: smut, age gap (45ish/20ish)

Requested by anon x

(ok so i didnt really know how to premise this but i decided to make it like an au where hes not famous and hes just a guitar teacher, to avoid any dodgy family friend relations or whatever for the ppl that feel uncomfortable with that heh (bc famous gra probably wouldn’t be teaching guitar to someone whos not already a friend in some way, if he was still a famous successful musician, you know???)) anyway enjoy this very very unrealistic fic x

* * *

“Try that for me,” Graham asked in his usual small voice. He was sitting across from me - his knees almost touching mine - with an electric guitar resting on his thigh. I was holding one as well and desperately trying to focus on what his hands were playing, rather than the details of the veiny pattern on the back of them.

“Uh,” I mumbled and tried to place my fingers like he had placed his on the strings, but quickly getting confused. I had been taking guitar lessons with Graham for a few months and it was getting harder and harder to push away the inappropriate thoughts.

I had never really had a crush on a teacher before, but of course a guitar tutor would conjure up those feelings in me. Musicians really are a whole different breed.

“Like this,” Graham helped and moved my fingers to the right strings. He was leaned in closer to me and I could feel my heart beating harder behind my ribs.

“Ah, sorry,” I apologised for my inability to pick up such a simple pattern. I caught a second of eye contact with Graham before turning my head down to hide my hot cheeks.

“Oh, don’t be,” he said with a cute concerned tone in his voice. “That’s why you’re here, to learn.”

I nodded and desperately continued to try chasing my inappropriate thoughts away. I played the chord progression almost flawlessly, and mentally beat myself up for the small errors I did. I hated failing in front of Graham. He was one of the sweetest and understanding people I’d ever met but he still intimidated me because when he played guitar he was a completely different person. I just needed his approval so bad.

“Good,” he mumbled and nodded his head. I looked up at his face again. His glasses had slid a bit further down his nose and his dark fringe laid messily across his forehead.

“Y/N.. Is there something wrong?” Graham asked after a short moment of silence and me getting a bit lost in his dark brown eyes.

“What?” I asked back and shifted in my seat. The awkward tension grew between us and Graham stared back at me with a puzzled expression and a small confused smile on his lips.

“You seem distracted,” he explained.

A war broke out in my head. One part of me wanted to just spit it out and admit to being extremely attracted to him, and another wanted me to shut up and stop acting so odd and pathetic. I settled for a stiff shrug of my right shoulder and an increased heartbeat.

“You’re probably not gonna learn much if you’re thinking about something else… Has something happened?” Graham asked. Concern had completely taken over his voice now and he was still leaned in close to me. It made my chest tighten with infatuation for him and the way he was genuinely worried about me.

“No, I’m just.. thinking,” I shrugged again and looked down on our knees that were even closer to touching now. 

“About?”

I could tell was being as careful as he possibly could and he really didn’t want to put any pressure on me. And he didn’t. All the pressure that was on me I put on myself. At last the impulsive side of me won and I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

“Your hands.”

Graham was taken aback a bit and laughed nervously. He leaned back again and I felt like throwing up. Why did I have to be so stupid?

“What about them?” he chuckled.

I had already dug myself a hole that was impossible to get out of, might as well keep digging.

“They’re, uh.. attractive,” I mumbled and swallowed nervously. I couldn’t think of a single adjective that felt appropriate to use. It felt like I was sweating from every pore and there wasn’t a single cell in my body in which I felt sexy or like I was capable of seducing this forty-something year old man.

“Attractive?” He asked and sent the ball right back to my court. To be fair, I was the one who had started this whole thing. I deserved to feel this uncomfortable.

“Yeah, like.. I-want-them-on-my-body attractive. That sort of thing,” I kept digging my hole and Graham’s cheeks were now getting a bit red too.

He stared at me in silence for four seconds. I counted them carefully and slower than normal, so it was probably even longer in reality. He then looked down for another few prolonged seconds. I began lining up all the curse words I knew in my head and threw them at myself.

“Okay,” Graham said quietly as he slowly looked up again. He was still hugging the guitar and his hand tightly clasped the neck of it, rather nervously.

“Well,” he continued uttering words, but not forming a sentence that carried any of this agony forward or backward or in any direction really. I couldn’t speak because I knew whatever I said I would make everything worse.

“Would you like to do something about it?” he asked cautiously and suddenly took a giant leap in the conversation. His head was tilted downwards slightly but he was looking me in the eye as my stomach turned over with nerves. I knew I should’ve said no and he knew he shouldn’t have asked that but here we were and I couldn’t think of any other answer but yes.

“Yeah,” I answered in a weak mumble.

Graham reached out to put the guitar back in its stand and I figured this was one of those times when actions speak louder than words. I did the same and sat back again with my clammy palms resting on my thighs. Graham had his bottom lip trapped between his teeth as he reached his hand out. He touched my leg gently with his fingertips and lifted my hand from my thigh. The notion that all this was highly inappropriate was forgotten as soon as he loosely held my hand and rubbed his thumb across my knuckles. I felt like I’d been holding my breath for the last ten minutes.

“Are you sure?”

I nodded. Graham held my one hand a bit tighter and reached out for the other one. I took it as a sign and took a giant metaphorical leap of my own. I stood up on wobbly legs and clumsily straddled his lap. He was wearing a pair of loose fitting blue jeans and I was wearing a pair of tight black ones. Even with all this fabric separating us, I could feel Graham harden a bit under me as I slowly grinded my hips back and forth a couple times. His hands let go of mine and immediately held my face, making me look into his eyes.

“Tell me if it’s weird,” he whispered. I could’ve sworn his lips were already touching mine - with the way I could taste his breath - but I soon realised they weren’t. I wanted them to be.

“You tell me,” I said with a nervous laughter. “I started this,” I joked and looked away from his eye contact. I was caught in a feeling more conflicting than I had ever felt before. Half of me wanted to tear every part of clothing from our bodies, while the other half was terrified and wanted to run away and never have to expose my body to Graham. The thought that he was old enough to be my father crossed my mind fleetingly and I was turned off for a minute, but at the same time I couldn’t keep from kissing him for much longer.

Graham’s hands were calmly resting on my hips now. I pressed my sweaty palms against his soft stomach under his shirt and watched his gaze fall to eye me up and down - or down and up, rather. He helped by raising his arms and I pulled his striped t-shirt off. I threw a glance at the, closed but not locked, door. We had about fifteen minutes left of the lesson, but I knew there was still a risk of another tutor or student walking in at any second. It made me more nervous and more excited.

I realised I would have to step down from his lap to take my jeans off. Now when I had finally gotten it I never wanted to break my contact with his body. I stood up hastily and struggled to get my tight jeans off. I then tore my hoodie off and felt completely naked. I was still wearing my pair of mismatched, yet oddly flattering, bra and pants as I stood frozen to the ground and allowed myself to stare at Graham’s bare torso. He looked even more handsome without a shirt than I could’ve ever imagined. His shoulders were broader than his waist and his stomach looked smooth and warm with a few soft hairs around his belly button and his chest.

“Help me out of these,” Graham suggested and both our gazes fell to his crotch. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of the bulge inside his jeans.

I nodded and kneeled down in front of him, placing my hands on his firm thighs. I could see a modest grin begin to form on his lips. He was clearly enjoying the sight of me on my knees in front of him. As my breathing picked up, I undid his jeans and pulled them all the way off his legs as he stood up to help. My hands were back on his thighs as he sat down again and I let one of them wander up to cup his prominent bulge outside of his underwear. A quiet moan fell from his lips. There was something raspy in his otherwise soft and gentle voice.

“You’re so beautiful,” Graham mumbled, the newfound rasp still apparent in his voice.

“Thank you,” I breathed shyly and kept rubbing his erection for a few more intense seconds before I decided I needed him inside me.

I stood up again and Graham pulled his pants down to the middle of his thighs. I didn’t mean to sound so defeated or in absolute awe - even though I was - but I exhaled sharply at the sight of a nude Graham with his hard cock in his hand. My reversed gasp made him smirk again. It looked out of place on his face but I liked it.

“Come here,” he mumbled softly and leaned in to give my stomach a few wet kisses as his large hands held my waist. His grip around me was just as gentle yet firm as his grip around his guitar.

He pulled me onto his lap again and kissed up my body, until our lips finally connected. Graham pulled my underwear to the side and my whole body twitched lightly as I grinded my clit against his length. He dropped a mumbling comment about how wet I was and I giggled nervously. I refused to believe I had made him this hard.

“Do I make you this hard?” I asked. I realised right away that it was a stupid question to ask.

“Yes, clearly,” Graham chuckled. There was a bit of struggle in his voice again as he was just about fed up with my slow teasing hip movements.

Graham held my hip as he finally guided the tip towards my entrance. I sank down slowly as his size stretched my walls out and made them ache. A few whispers fell from my mouth and I could feel him watching me. I opened my eyes and looked into his. They were large and round and just as dark and beautiful as always. I kissed him again and we both moaned quietly into the kiss. Graham’s left hand was still on my hip and his right was gently cupping my  breast. I was still wearing my bra but he pulled it down slightly and moved his lips from mine down to my nipple.

“Do you mind if I leave some marks?” he asked and kissed around my nipple softly as he waited for me to answer.

“Not at all,” I breathed. 

I had fully adjusted to his size and rode him faster and faster as I came closer to my climax. Graham sank his teeth into the skin on my chest and sucked hard on it. It prompted an even louder moan from me and even made Graham hush me as he laughed quietly. It was a smug laugh.

With the wonderful pain from his teeth sinking into my skin and his cock as deep as it could go inside me, it wasn’t long before the orgasm built up inside me. It came quickly and almost caught me off guard when it washed over me, contorting my whole body and making me exhaustedly fall down with my forehead pressed against his shoulder. Graham held both my hips now and thrusted a few more times before he pulled out suddenly and came all over his hand and thigh. Seeing his veiny hand all covered in his own cum and hearing his heavy breaths almost made me want to go for another round right away but I contained myself and backed away from him. 

I glanced at the clock on the wall as I buttoned my jeans and pulled my hoodie over my head. Graham had found some tissues to wipe his hand with and was standing faced away from me. His back was broad and beautiful and I wanted to kiss every inch of it.

“Well, I’ll.. see you next week then,” I said awkwardly and Graham turned around. The apples of his cheeks were still tinted pink and I could imagine mine were as well. He laughed lightly and walked back up to me. He gave me a quick peck on the lips and smiled.

“Yeah..”

I grabbed my stuff and awkwardly waddled out of the room with sweaty palms and a small grin that was untameable. My skin was still burning with the feeling of his teeth and lips on it. I knew there were already bruises and marks all over my chest and neck.

***

❤️❤️❤️

[ccsthemovie2]

(I think it's a word over 500, but:)

"Speaking of Tsukishiro, how's he doing?", Eriol asks. Frying pan to fire to volcano.

"He's good," Touya says quickly, before Sakura can say anything. Yukito is not even in the ballpark of "good". Yesterday he called Touya and begged him to bike over and said it was important and when Touya showed up he was asleep, and stayed fast asleep right through to the next morning. He keeps trying to make appointments with doctors, and then falling asleep before he can call, or, when Touya calls for him, before he can make it out the door. Privately, Touya isn't sure how much good a doctor can do for him, but anything has to be better than this, right?

"Really? I'm glad to hear it." Ugh, how much has Sakura told him. Not that she doesn't have a right to talk to her friends, but, come on, would it kill her to least keep it between her and Tomoyo and the funny looking cat.

He's good, that's an obvious lie. Ruby has said Yukito could barely stand upright at school. Every inch of Touya Kinomoto is packed full of magic. Sooner or later, Eriol figures, either Sakura will be powerful enough to sustain him, or Yue will have to get over himself and just eat already. Touya can't actually do anything with his magic, so it's not like Yue, even weak as he is, will have to face much of a struggle to take it. (Aside from competition with Ruby, of course. There's something to that, right, articles and studies about animals being healthier if they need a bit of careful planning to get their food? Yes, so this works out nicely.)

Or maybe- oh, that's probably it. Yue's on to him, isn't he? He's just being stubborn as usual, figuring sooner or later Clow will appear via Eriol and save him. He can imagine how surprised, overjoyed, grateful Yue would be, if Eriol showed up and saved his life. He can imagine Yue's head resting on his neck as clearly as if he had kept Yue well-fed with magic a thousand times in his lifetime. It would be nice, in the short run, but it wouldn't be right, no. Clow is dead, and Yue needs to learn to live with that. If he knows what's good for him, he will take responsibility for his own life, and if he doesn't...

Ahh, well, maybe it's Clow's old sentimentality, maybe Eriol is just warming up to Sakura's moon guardian all on his own, but he can't bring himself around to the idea of letting Yue just die. He'd save him, if it came down to it. But, he tells himself sternly, only as an absolute last resort. He's just worrying because he misses Yue and wants to get to know him better all at once in that past-and-future way- it's worth a visit, soon. Yes, a nice little visit, and Yue will never even have to know it happened. Just to check in.

(sorry the formatting got weird when i copypasted lol!)

hiiii thanks for the ask!!!

if we talk about this convo we need to back up and talk about how it got here. this should give you some idea of how badly this needs to be under a cut for length lol.

so it all starts with the bit about how someone falling and being caught is something that happens a lot in ccs. how with eriol, it's purposeful, and with fujitaka (and i misremembered it but since found out she fell *on* him and not *caught* by him, which lolol i hope he broke a bone, but also its fine the fic's already marked canon divergent, or maybe the story gets misremembered, whatever, in any case), it's an echo of clowriol's intentional artificial-trustbuild-dangersaves but without the magic or purpose to back it up (just like fujitaka himself!), but it's a situation he quickly makes favorable to him, because it may be a blank slate but it's made of the same material.

this whole convo was part of one of the very first chunks written, but everything was going to go in a very different direction at first. (there's a lot of Cut Content from this fic, some that i just didn't like, some that wasn't connectable with the rest of the fic after it took the shape it took but might pop up somewhere else one day idk). in this particular bit i cut the later half of the conversation because i really didn't like what i'd written, but then even though the direction of the story changed the conversation was still going so it had to bounce somewhere else, so it bounced to yukito. here we are answering your ask 2 paragraphs in!

yukito, iirc in the anime, did catch her from a fall, (in the manga, which made way more sense for why she had to change her clothes and rest so much, he saved her from drowning, again iirc because who can trust a memory) and at a point where eriol still has some investment in making yuekito/sakura (ewwwww) happen, he's going to try and draw on that symbolism to nudge her in that direction, right?

so all this said, SPEAKING of yuekito. how are they doing.

bad, obviously. touya's freaking out. i imagine that part of what's stopping yukito from seeing a doctor is yue, though- he knows it wont help, and i dont think yukito has, like, person insides that will stand up to medical tests, and yue would pick up on yukito like, not wanting to be outed to the doctor as a magic construct because he, like, doesnt actually have a real heart that pulses, just a repeating heartbeat sound. doesn't for real have blood etc to test, just records of blood type (for personality reasons).

and also touya's a very like keep-ur-problems-not-everybodys-business type so hes like imagining sakura venting her fears to this weirdo and getting pissed off. but that didnt actually happen, eriol knew all on his own lolol. touya you have to say something nice should happen to sakura to make up for wrongly suspecting her now

and this bit on eriol's end is all wrong information and inaccurate conclusions and i was really worried ppl would take it at face value but i hope nobody did. in ccs we get moments where eriol wants sakura to take power, or to learn that power can be taken- his final battle with her, for example, where the answer to his light and dark puzzle is to use kero and yue's power, except that's not something she would ever Want to do or would even Occur to her to try. the power is gifted to her by kero and yue (and syaoran!) because they love her.

same concept, here- the answer to the 'yue is dying' puzzle is to eat touya's power, and he can't imagine the real reason why he won't just do that, and when he thinks about it too long it goes right to his ego- yue looovvvvesss clow, and by extension me. he wants meeeeeee to save him. he wants to neck kissy MY magic soo sooooo bad. but yue isn't considering any of that at all. he's thinking about yukito and what touya means to yukito and why that would make yukito hesitate to reach out, and that no way in hell will he just ambush his other self's crush down a dark alley and take his magic, even to save both their lives. he's a lot more selfless than clow and eriol ever realize. maybe- this is just a half formed thought right now, i dont know if im like certain about it, but- maybe they feel his devotion to clow was a form of selfishness, that he Wanted Love as a thing he could hold and own, whereas pretty much everybody else who meets him goes like YOU SELFLESS MAN YOU CANT JUST DIE FOR PPL YOU CARE ABOUT YOU GOTTA TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF TOOOO

and there’s also that bit of teacherliness intrinsic to the three of them again: im doing this to teach him a lesson. im letting ruby do her thing without telling her what’s going on to help and encourage yue, etc.

anyway, that (in terms of fic weaving itself into canon) solidifies his decision to do uhmmmm a thing that creeps me out real bad in the anime (knocking yue out to have a moment with him, and oh, ding, there's another 'you fell but i caught you' moment!). eriol loves this manner of hanging out with people, you see it later in this fic, even:

It's important to say what's in your heart to the people you want to say it to, even if you have to make sure the other person never hears it. It's important for your own emotional freedom.

he loves to spend time with people exclusively on his terms, to the point where the other party never even knew he was there, because he knocked them out, or because he was just staring creepily at the outside of sakura's house while she did homework, etc etc etc.

tldr: it's all connected, aaaaaaaaa

#ask

[cross-d-a]

Pass the happy!💖 When you get this, reply with 5 things that make you happy and send this to the last 10 people in your notifications!

(I have decided that Discord notifs count because I love you dearly and wanna hear what makes you happy)

HELLO!!!! I love you and I kinda really needed this and I think you know that so thank you!!!!! I love and appreciate you SO MUCH!!

Also I've literally been thinking about this post for two hours and so I'm not gonna stick to just five- I'm gonna list MORE than that because I wanna remind myself that there are many wonderful things in the world to be happy about and also PICS!! I'm adding PICS bc I CAN!!!!!!!!!

under the cut bc it gets LONG! :)

1) YOU make me happy, Sierra!!!!!!! Also @s1utspeare and @vishcount and of course my bff @haru-tl !!! You guys are so fucking incredible and talented and AMAZING!!!! I love you all SO MUCH!!! You always make my day!!! And all the dmbj peeps!!! I am so lucky to know so many wonderful people!!!!

2) as long as we're on the subject of people- I absolutely can't leave out my coworkers!!! Literally some of the best people I've ever met in my life. I have so much fun with them. I can always count on them making me laugh.

Like today, we were talking about this reptile house a few towns away and my manager was telling us about their cool anaconda exhibit where you can crawl under the glass tank and watch them eat and she mentioned their teeth being scary. So I googled Anaconda Teeth and went WOAH THEY'RE COOL and our Resident Snake Expert came over and went actually that pic is from the movie Anaconda. And then he helped me find Real Pics and the teeth were even COOLER. I left the Google search up on the work computer and a couple hours when I was on lunch I heard Mike exclaim: "I had NO idea that ANACONDAS had TEETH!!!!!!" Which?? MIKE?? WHAT??? Hahaha everyone burst into laughter :)

3) my cat BOOTS makes me happy!! He's always asking for belly scritches and he drools when he's happy. Here's a pic bc I adore him:

4) my new baby boy So Mun from The Uncanny Counter makes me VERY happy!!!!! He's just- the Sweetest Boy to have ever Baby'd!!! I adore his little crinkly-eyed smile and curly hair!!! He's just so GOOD it makes me cry!! Also!! Disabled rep!!!!! LOVE HIM!!!!! Look at his lil' FACE:

and bc he is Unfortunately Very Hot in his mourning outfit:

adding this too bc LOOK AT THAT ADORABLE SMILE I wanna SCREAM

5) my Pangzi necklace makes me happy!!! I have an Iron Triangle matching set, but the Pangzi one I first put on bc of Brigid's Pangzi chapter for Swiftly Tilting and then I kinda just- never took it off haha. It's just so pretty and makes me feel like I've got a bit of Pangzi with me at all times. I love that man SO much and if I can be even a fraction of how wonderful he is, then I can die happy

6) the smell of the sea makes me happy!!! It makes me feel refreshed and relaxed! I live by Puget Sound and on very lucky days I can smell it at my house! Tonight was a lucky night! I came home and it smelled like the seashore, so I kept my window open as I folded laundry :)

7) my new collection of Kpop CDs makes me happy!! It's entirely bc of Vish's influence and I LOVE her for it!!! The packaging is just so pretty and I always love being able to hold things that give me Good Feelings in my hands :)

8) since we're on the subject of COLLECTIONS, I love to collect things!! And one collection of things that makes me happy are my books!! I have- too many. Working in a bookstore makes it too easy to buy them! But seeing the bright spines on my shelves gives me delight. I particularly really like my queer manga collection!! I've got four whole shelves of it! :) I'd offer a pic but I'm too tired to go upstairs, haha but I love the art and the representation 🌈

9) I ALSO really love all the figures I collect! Seeing characters that I love on a daily basis makes me happy. I usually decorate my bookshelves with them. One set that makes me particularly happy are my Pingxie ones. They look like they're getting married and it delights me:

10) another purchase that is entirely bc of Vish (I ADORE you!!) is my Chimmy blanket!! He's just so adorable and bright and coming home every day to see him waiting on my bed makes me very happy

11) yet another bright yellow thing that makes me happy is my dmbj Xiao Ge coaster!! It's so sparkly and fun AND it's a friendship coaster I share with Sierra!! We've got a matching set, babe!! I love you!! Let's just shake them around and be distracted by the sparkles forever!!

12) coming back to work from my weekend to find a bunch of manga to shelve always makes me very happy!!! Buying/pricing/shelving manga is my favourite thing to do at work! I love seeing familiar and new titles!

And it's interesting to see how prices can change if it goes out of print! Sometimes every single book in a series but ONE is the same price. Like last month we had a series where like/ volume 8 was worth $250 vs the regular $7.99 for the rest of them. And someone BOUGHT IT!! Things like that can happen randomly. It can be bc it was a smaller printing for that particular volume. OR something special happens in it (new character appearance/fan favourite story arc/BOOBS), so more ppl want to keep it which means it's harder to come by (and then sellers raise their prices BC it's difficult to come by). You usually see the collectible value go up for out of print BL or older series like Aria or Lupin III. Not everything that's out of print is collectible, but it's always interesting when it is :)

13) DAY6's The Book of Us: Gravity has graciously given me a big serotonin boost the last couple days!! It's just- I dunno! Uplifting! Catchy! Full of energy! :)

14) similarly, I've been listening to Close Your Eyes by Isaac Hong almost exclusively for like- five days now! It's from The Uncanny Counter and it makes me very happy! It's very emotional and just reminds me of my baby boy So Mun :)

15) sunshine makes me happy!! I'm at that point in the year where I don't want rain anymore, just sun! So it's always nice having my windows open at home with the sun shining through. Or the back doors at work propped open while we go about our day. It's almost impossible to feel sad when you get to bask in the warmth of the sun and smell the nice fresh air

16) finding weird random books at work makes me happy! It's so fun seeing the kinds of things people read! And sometimes you find cool ephemera in the things people sell to us that they don't want back. Like- look at this pic from an older fortune-telling birthday book I found. She is 1000% Drowning Him and I love that for her :)

17) reading manga makes me happy. There are just so many wonderful and ridiculous series out there. There really is nothing "too weird to publish" in the manga world. I was reminded of this the other day when I discovered a series about a girl who timetravels and finds out that her soulmate is a Neanderthal. You can literally find a series about ANYTHING in the manga world and I love that about it. There's no limit to the imagination and there's something for everyone :)

18) when I'm in the mood, writing and drawing make me happy. There's just something about creating that really just- fills the soul :)

19) making playlists makes me happy!! I love having playlists for characters and relationships and fics and even specific fic chapters or moods or going to sleep! (And rec playlists! Like Vish's :) ) It's just- so satisfying having the Perfect Playlist on hand! Plus it's fun actually making them- like figuring out the mood/lyrics and what they fit into :) I listen to music almost constantly, so this is essential! :)

So thank you Sierra!! It was nice to remind myself about a lot of different things that bring joy to my life!! I love and adore you SO MUCH 💖💖💖

#cross talks #ask #ask game #kinda????????? #good stuff

[imaginethathaikyuu]

How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr

What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^

Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))

What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.

Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.

What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.

What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….

Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)

Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.

Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).

Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.

Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.

Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”

so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D

- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]

- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd 

- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho 

- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333

- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!

- gotta love tsukishima <3

- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)

- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw 

- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more 

- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333

#ily<3 #long post

[otometearoom]

I Finished Tsumugu Logic!! Overview/Rant

It took me a month, but I finished the last chapter of the game and got the true ending. I will keep playing to get all of the other bad ends, etc. 

I have so so many feels about this game, y’all. I will be highlighting a few chapters in the game, so if you haven’t finished it. Beware of spoilers!!

[MANY SPOILERS/ENDINGS BELOW]

To recount my feelings throughout the game for each character: 

1. Tsumugu is a cutie pie. I actually really related to him, because I’m also at that point in my life where I have to decide what exactly I want to do for the rest of my life. I just finished university, but I’m still unsure about my career ahahah. So, seeing Tsumugu struggle to figure his life out was refreshing. 

2. “Sosei” is so hot. I laid eyes on him and thought, uh-oh, he’s my new addiction ahahah. I would buy his merchandise if there was any. The dude loves sweets (how cute is that) and he has such a good head for mysteries (my dream man). Plus, he’s a tsundere but really cares about Tsumugu, often giving hints and advice to him. He’s a very trustworthy older brother/senpai. I could gush over how much I love Sosei for ages. His drunken habits -> those are to die for. He becomes so lewd and straightforward. I love it. 

“Koyo”, on the other hand, I didn’t like him as much as Sosei. Which is weird, cause I love ikemen. Maybe I’m just drawn more into the withdrawn, mysterious guys?? I do like the concept of twin brothers though. I have a bit of a dirty mind so when the twins said they shared everything, even their gf, I was like ohohoho, 3p? 

I absolutely enjoyed the twins together though. I love seeing them pretend to be the other. I wish they had more of an appearance lol. I could even say that Sosei and Koyo are a scale higher than Tsumugu for me. I wish the twins were the main protagonists ahahah. No offense Tsumugu. 

I’ll just summarize my first impressions for others real quick: 

3. Kotoko - I thought she was cute, but I never really liked her and couldn’t quite pinpoint exactly why. This feeling will come into play later on. So at first, I was like meh, she’s okay, I guess. But, as I learned more about her, I really didn’t like her character that much. I mean, I wouldn’t say I hated her but I didn’t find her as a good fit for Tsumugu. 

- When she told Tsumugu to be a salesman or whatever. I was like, do you even know Tsumugu? Lmao. I didn’t know if it was just me empathizing with Tsumugu cuz I’ve often been told of what I should be, but no one asks what I want to be. 

- When she didn’t want to help Mirei, I thought how odd, for someone who tries to befriend everyone, she’s not doing so well as a heroine. I mean, it was realistic, at least. But, I think the chapter where she admits that she tries really hard to fit in so others will like her was starting to draw some red flags for me. It made me wonder how much of her was ‘real’. Idk if I’m making any sense though.

- When she swung the knife at Tsumugu, I didn’t hate her as much as I did when she swung the knife at Sosei (who protected Tsumugu) and killed him. I was furious then. 

4. Sally - I admit I was really turned off by the girly lolita style. Mainly because I’m more tomboyish irl. But, she had a good sense of justice so I actually liked her. It did come as a shock to me though that she was the “gorilla” girl that was forced to kiss Nozaki. Tbh, I was kinda sad she died at the end. Like, I know she killed Hikone, but I could understand her motive better than I could understand Kotoko’s motive. Maybe cuz I have an older brother and can’t see myself being a brocon? ahahah. 

5. Toma - In terms of hotness, he comes 2nd right after Sosei. He’s a really good friend. And I absolutely adore how he scares ppl with his glare lol. i love yankees ahaha. He’s not afraid to speak his mind. He’s a very solid character.

6. Daimon - My girl crush. High key curious who she’s arranged to marry because her fiance seems boring. Who takes an hour to choose a handkerchief? Anyways, Im sad that Daimon and Sosei never got to meet because I’m low key shipping them. Idk if they’d click well romantically because they’re so similar, but I would’ve loved for some sort of interaction. They’d make for an epic couple, solving mysteries. I really wanna write a fic for them. 

7. Tsukasa Tsukasa - I didn’t like him because of the cheating and blaming on my poor Toma, but after that, he was okay. Plus, he helped write the Tsumugu’s love letter to Kotoko. Which I find is funny, because Kotoko copied Tsukasa’s writing, thinking it was Tsumugu’s. Ahahah. The lesson here, folks, is that don’t use your own handwriting in love letters, you never know if you’re crush will copy said handwriting into your own suicide letter. 

8. Mirei - that girl can sing. I kinda cried after hearing it cuz I was going through something at the time and it really encouraged me. 

9. Landlady & Hikkimori - Both names that I can’t remember off the top of my head. I think both people are fun. The landlady is super supportive. And the hikkimori refusing to talk with Sosei made for a fun dynamic. I genuinely enjoyed seeing Sosei offended. Nice way to see emotions on my fave character. 

10. Other characters (Rindo, Happy, Travel Club Members) - I genuinely did not care enough about ahahah. I think I even enjoyed seeing some of them murdered, tbh. They were really horrible people in different ways. 

The Black club members headed under Fumi. Like what? How do you control victims to be assailants and live with yourself to be a future kindergarten teacher? Like what? I couldn’t live with myself if I was her. Plus, her disproportionately large boobs were really weirding me out. I can’t believe Yu died all because Fumi wanted to f*ck him. It’s like one day you’re living your best life and someone thinks, ah, I wanna ruin this person. 

Don’t even get me started with Nozaki. That dude is a piece of trash. Human garbage. He knows how it feels to be a victim and yet thinks it’s his right to assault women. I wanted to slap that guy so hard. So many times. He was like the boy who cried wolf. He kept pretending to be dead and eventually died in the hands of Kotoko. XD I wonder what his last thoughts were. To have died in the hands of someone he trusted. 

Hikone was another nutcase. From what I understood, he just saw everyone else as characters in his book. Sure, he didn’t physically harm anyone, but doing nothing and observing is just as much of a crime as committing it. 

Shun. I never really like cutesy guys. But when he turned out to be an ex-pimp plus lover of Fumi, he fell off the likeable scale. 

Yoshimoto being an uncontrollable drunk murderer was the only thing needed to complete the psycho Travel Club members. Tbh, I thought he was the one behind the killings at first ahaha. 

Suguha. I thought she was a tough chick. It was cool to know that she had another motive to get closer to Fumi. Because I thought it was weird how she took her cellphone at the BBQ restaurant. It’s nice to know that SEEC still foreshadows like that. 

#tsumugu logic #seec #spoilers