#it’s actually so funny how the older men who are like 50+ are SO sweet to me and so respectful and constantly tell me I’m so smart and funny | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cooloddball · 3 years

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something i love about cockles is that because there is so much of them at a young age that we can see in either filmography or photography, we really can picturehow the two looked for fics at certain times. like i always found it funny to read destiel fics years ago where dean was this bad boy and cas was the geeky shy boy or something and like i CANT PICTURE IT because misha was so weirdly good looking in a quirky way as a teen and then as a young adult i always picture him with the long hair and he is SO HOT and the Jensen is like this choir boy-boy scout as a teenager and then as a young adult was like a twink ken doll and also SUPER FUCKING PRETTY and im like my god if 21 year old jensen and 25 year old misha had ever been in the same frame, it would have been nuclear. i always wonder how they would react to each other at that age. like looks wise and personality wise. thoughts?

OMG, this is an ask that requires a person with very high analytical skills and while I don't think I am either qualified or well equipped to answer it perfectly, I have never been one to back away from a challenge so I will give it a try.

First, we have young Jensen who is so pretty it's unfathomable how he became this extremely handsome man. It's like he gets finer with age. His face is just perfect and I love that he’s more than his looks, he works really hard, gives his all and is super smart and thoughtful.

Have I mentioned I love him so much. I love Jensen. Even my bf keeps saying “Yes I know you love Dean. I get it.” I always have to remind him I love both Jensen and Dean because they are different. Anyway I’m sure he’s dreading watching s3 of The Boys with me because I will keep re-watching all the Soldier Boy scenes. He rolls his eyes every time I re-watch spn because he knows I will be talking about Dean for weeks thereafter.

Moving on from my unwarranted ramblings about Jensen.

As you said, when he was younger he looked like a Ken doll and gave off twink vibes. I mean...

Jensen is was the kind of pretty that was unreal and kind of unapproachable in the sense that you wouldn't feel worthy standing in front of such magnificence.

Jensen was on a whole other level. You know like those models, you see on magazines advertising clothes and you know or even if you bought those jeans or bought that dress you would never look as good as them because there's only one of them.

Then we have Misha. Misha has always been handsome. He has maintained his features. Even now that he's older, he still looks the same not much has changed.

Young Misha looks like he was one of those nerdy kids in HS who didn't know how good-looking they were and was often surprised when both boys and girls were drawn to him.

Misha is handsome and has all the features that every handsome man has, a sharp jawline, those cheekbones. Also, Misha's eyes are so big and so gentle. IDK what to say. His beauty is gentle in that he is approachable and he looks relatable.

God, I hope this makes sense because if it isn't, I have failed, but I keep trying until I answer your question.

Then we have them young long-haired.

Long-haired Misha is making my knees weak. He looks like he's so bad, he's the guy your mama warned you about. Long-haired Jensen looks like if you kissed him he'd ask you to pray with him because the good book says you have to wait until your wedding night or something akin to that.

This is getting long so more thoughts below:

Here is young cockles alongside each other.

Jensen here looks like the kind of guy who knows he's pretty and he owns it while Misha looks like that shy kid who is too sweet for his own good and Jensen takes him under his wing and shows him the ropes of how everything runs.

I actually think if these two had met when they were younger, it would've been total sexual annihilation. I mean the sexual chemistry between them is palpable. It hangs in the air every time they are close to each other. I mean they are middle-aged men, Misha is pushing 50 and somehow Jensen still can't get enough of him. H pops boners left and right. Well, mostly left because that's how he hangs but man, I honestly can't even imagine what our world would be today if these two met say 20 years ago instead of 13 years ago.

I 100% believe either of these things could've happened:

neither of them would have a career in Hollywood;

they would be the hottest gay couple in Hollywood with 3 kids;

one of them would have a successful career and the other one would've lost it all,

it would be much like it is today with them living in the shadows. Only now there would be way more rumours.

I also doubt if they had met 20 years prior that Misha would've been hired to join spn because every director/producer would know of their chemistry and we know cvv hates the gays so we wouldn't have destiel. I can't imagine a world without destiel in it. Can you?

Btw it is also imperative to note that back then Jensen was a staunch Christian. I'm not saying that he isn't now but he was the guy who used to thank Jesus Christ when he won an award.

Misha on the other hand was a rebel. He's the guy who ran naked in Chicago with a group of friends in a snowstorm. So they were two very different people back then and although they still are different, I think they met at the best time possible and that's why they have lasted this long.

As for Cas and Dean, I think they met when they were relatively young, Dean was 29 & Cas was only a few billion light-years old. But I think it wouldn't have mattered when they met, they would've still made the same choices they made and defied all odds and Chuck to save the world.

I honestly don't know what I'm on about anymore but that's my two cents. Hope it makes sense.

#asks #anon #young cockes #young jensen #young misha #cockles

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shirophantomvox · 3 years

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Hold My Hand- Illumi x Reader

OMG thank you! My first international fan! Thank you for this wonderful prompt! This was requested by @illucilfer .

Summary: Today’s story takes place in a 1950s diner by a frequently used Interstate; Interstate 95. We know this dinner for its delicious hamburgers, hot dogs, milkshakes, and jukebox records, but every night one Patreon never returns home. A few men who were angry about your recent arrest have shot you both. As you both stare at each other exchanging mental signals, everyone around you tries to help you to the hospital. Y/N is narrating the story. I seem to have fewer grammar errors that way. FYI, Bold and italicized font will reference a thought or flashback.

Story Navigation

Let’s get started!

The leaves have turned bright yellow and orange, fluttering every second to the ground. I could hear little children a while away laughing and playing in the community park; throwing up the leaves, jumping into piles, and throwing them at each other. The smell of freshly baked donuts brightened everyone’s mood. All you had to do was take one bite and your face would brighten and crack a smile. Dining at Cupid’s Kitchen will always have your heart and interest.

Interstate 95 was always heavy with traffic during this time of year. The folks of Dallas celebrated mulch annually. The “Mulch Fest” was a street fair that stretched 1.5 miles to the east that contained music, drinks, farmer panels, homemaker Q&A, and other activities that southerners enjoy. Illumi and I are only here because of an unfinished assignment. We have worked night and day for countless days trying to catch Jack “Da Hamor” Gilberton, but he was nowhere to be found. Eventually, I allowed my anger to get the best of me and made the executive decision to take a day off. I barred Illumi from searching, tracking, or any form of hunting for our target. The life of a bounty hunter and an assassin can thrill, but it can drive you insane if you allow it.

Ironically, Illumi and I both enjoy fall. It is perfect for cuddling (although he acts as if he’s too good to cuddle), wearing creative hoodies, going to pumpkin patches, and attending apple orchids. I tend to “lose my cool” when we have dates there. When I was a child, my family did not go on trips like these because they were over an hour away from our home and I had 5 siblings. But once I made money for myself, I made it my mission to go to one at least 5 times out of the year. Illumi enjoys the different fudge, hot cider, and candy apples. He almost broke a tooth on one!

“Say cheese snag-a’-tooth!”

“Stop it. It’s not funny!”

“It is! Could you imagine if you lost your two front teeth? You’d look almost adorable as you did in the 1st grade!”

“How did you know about that?”

“Duh! It happens to everyone, but your mother showed me the pictures, of course.”

“Curses!”

Illumi’s sweet tooth is just like Killua’s; both have a weakness for chocolate. Except, Killua will admit defeat while his older brother keeps denying it.

Cupid’s Dinner has been in Dallas for over 55 years. A black woman established it in 1945 by the name of Mary-Lou Benson. Since then, Mary’s family has been running the shop, making sure all of her customers are happy with the service. During the turn of each season, Cupid’s Dinner gives its customer's food options based on the season. The fall options include donuts, candy apples, different flavored cider, fudge, and hot coffee specials. As much as everything looked appetizing, I could not order it all. Our server, Little Ben, placed our drinks in front of us and handed us the menu. I could tell he was happy with his line of work, just as I was to be with Illumi.

“You all take your time. I’ll be back in five.”

Ilumi glanced on both sides of the room, scanning for Jack Gilberton, already forgetting the agreement we established.

“Illumi, what are you doing?”

“Huh?”

“You keep looking around like you’ve seen Da Hamor. Eat your donut and relax, sweetheart.”

“I cannot relax. I must stay on alert.”

“If I can relax, so can you. It’s not that hard.”

“Fine. If I die, it’s on your head… literally.”

The jingling bell rang almost every second when a customer walked in. It was a joy to everyone's ears; the spirit of Mary Lou-Benson was alive and well. An overwhelming feeling of love seemed to have overtaken the diner. After examining the bistro for quite some time now, each customer had been using their cellphones at the table instead of chatting with their families. Many traditional families hated that about this generation but they should be open to new traditions forming. Illumi dislikes using cell phones or tablets at the table unless we use them for missions. He has emphasized how rude it is to be surfing the web about utter nonsense while someone is speaking. This is a pet peeve of his, something I’ll never step on his toe about. Although I think that is overdoing it, I respect it.

Little Ben served our table quickly, leaving us with two dishes of a classic chicken sandwich, kettle chips, one chocolate, and vanilla milkshake. Milkshakes were my weakness; I nearly foam at the mouth when I see one. When I found out that Illumi had NEVER had a milkshake, I almost fainted.

“No. I’ve never had a milkshake.”

“Huh? You’re missing out, pal.”

“What’s the big deal? Isn’t it frozen milk?”

“Not just frozen milk. You can add many flavors, toppings, and whip cream!”

“Well, then. You’ll have to show me sometime.”

We thanked Little Ben for his service as he clocked out for the day.

“I have to admit these sandwiches look very appetizing.”

“You can say that again!”

Before I nibbled on my sandwich, I wanted to take a moment and adore the man before me; Illumi Zoldyck. A man full of mysteries, professionalism, skill, and talent. His enormous eyes were immersed in the large pieces of chicken in between the sourdough bread. He licked his index finger vigorously; allowing the homemade honey mustard to drip enough from the bread to the plate in between licks. Just the sight of him actually relaxing for once has blown me away. For once, Illumi Zoldyck could be himself and I had the privilege to witness it.

“Um… why are you staring at me? Do I have food on my face,” he asked; violently wiping his mouth off with a provided cloth napkin.

“Oh! Ha, ha; no reason. I wanted to see your reaction after drinking your milkshake. That’s all.”

“Why? It’s just a drink.”

“Whatever you say, babe.”

“Babe? What happened to LuLu or Illumi-Lu?”

I gasped and pretended to be surprised… although I was a little.

“I did not know that you liked those pet names. I assumed it mortified you.”

“Who told you that? That never rolled off my tongue. “What I said was” — He bent closer to the table and to me; glancing both to the right and left to ensure no wandering ears were around — “I prefer Illumi-Lu to be said in the bedroom and LuLu when we’re alone, like how we are right now.”

“Aww…. ok,” I yelled in excitement.

“Don’t blow it out of proportion, alright?”

“Yes, sir.”

As we ate, Illumi hummed along to the tune that played a few times on the restaurant's jukebox. Illumi and I were born in the mid-90s, but listening to 50s music was a part of his aesthetic. I was told that he had an “old soul” which sounds romantic at first until you realize how men were during that era. His raging temper was a noticeable toxic trait, but it has drastically improved. Nonchalantly sipping on his milkshake and then eating more of his chips, he grazed the soft part of his left hand over mine as he continued to hum.

“What’s the name of this song? You seem to know it rather well.”

“Put your head on my shoulder, a famous song from the 60s. I heard my parents sing it once and since then, they have addicted me to it. Do you like it?”

“Yes, in fact, I love it. All of this is—”

“A surprise to you? Well, enjoy it while it lasts because once I find Jack Gilberton, this side of me will hide for a while.”

“Understood.”

Damn! I was just feeling connected to him again!

The music swelled; everyone seemed to be happy. Not an evil spirit insight to disrupt this beautiful moment. For once in my life, my raven-haired beauty actually held my hand tight, stole a few of my barbecue kettle chips, and gazed into my eyes harmlessly. His lips brushed against both of my hands, ever so lightly placing kisses on both sides of them. Illumi’s gentle smile warmed my heart as my lingering thoughts of hope stayed intact.

The welcoming bell jingled again. Two men in black leather jackets, stone-washed blue jeans, and tattooed all over their arms came into the diner. The men seemed to be bikers who had just left their own “spot” but one thing struck me as they continued to walk towards the staff. They both wore sunglasses when the sunset for the day. Not to mention that the lights were not dim in the diner and the moon was as bright as ever. The second man had his eyes glued in my direction. My heart beat faster as I wondered if Jack Gilberton had found us. Could you imagine?

Put your head on my shoulder

Hold me in your arms, baby

Squeeze me oh-so-tight

Show me you love me too

I am used to coming in contact with enemies on my hit list, but given Jack’s criminal history; I felt like I may not survive his attacks. Illumi will survive, but just barely. Both men approached the checkout, crowing over Little Ben’s sister. She was a short woman but full of might, and I could tell by the shakiness in her voice she was frightened. I wanted to step in so badly, but I didn't want to blow my cover just in case it was, in fact, Jack Gilberton. After I assume, ordering food, both men stood by the entrance, blocking it from others from entering and leaving. The sound of their old, beat up-lighters crackled as one lit a joint and the other lit a cigarette. This horrid smell ruined the atmosphere because they were not in a designated area and it drowned out the lovely aroma of the food being served.

“If you gentlemen would like to smoke, you need to go outside. There is no smoking in here.”

“What? You think you’re better than me because you don’t smoke?”

“Huh? I never said that, sir. I asked for you to go outside. Not all of our customers can deal with it.”

They did not move a muscle. The sound of their mucous laughter made everyone’s stomach turn. They laughed at the young girl and called her many slurs. Little Ben’s sister didn’t flinch, nor did she cry; she remained still, staring at the men. I had just enough of their obnoxious behavior.

“If you do not leave, I will call the police.”

“The hell you won’t.”

Put your lips next to mine, dear

Won't you kiss me once, baby?

He drew a gun from his left side. He aimed it at Little Ben’s sister and demanded that she emptied the drawer. She refused. Her stone, iron will reminded me of Illumi; no matter the circumstance, they remained intact, determined to fight until the end. Bravery is always encouraged, but too much will cause your life to be taken away. Little Ben’s sister grabbed a fake till that they kept under the real one and threw it at both men. Fake money fluttered everywhere in the small diner, mimicking confetti. Gunshots rang in all directions as the imbeciles recklessly shot, aiming for Little Ben’s sister. Everyone threw themselves on the ground to avoid being shot, but luck cannot spread itself throughout an entire room of people. A young child, an older man, and another worker were shot in their lower leg. Blood reflected from the ground as it continued to seep. Ignoring injured civilians is a jackass move and continuing to deny the fact would prove that the oath I pledge to meant nothing. Sure, bounty hunters must remain hidden, but if someone is injured, I must help them.

The child was lying lifeless on the polished marble floor. He would not respond to my shaking or my silent whispers. When I rolled him over, my heart broke into a million pieces. This child had no chance of survival; a few bullets struck his chest, one just inches away from his heart. A tear rolled down my cheek.

“Why must the good die young,” I whispered to myself.

“... Because snitches get stitches.”

Before I could gain sight of who stated this utterly corny response, I felt an overwhelming amount of pain in my lower back. It felt like a million tiny needles were jabbed so far through my skin that they entered my intestine. I could still hear, but my body would not move. I tried and tried, but my brain would not signal my legs.

Move! Move, damn it!

It’s odd; I could hear myself talk, but my body would not move at all. The sound of another thudding body made my mind jump. My heart had already been pounding enough to try to resuscitate my organs to move, but a familiar semi-blurring sight of none other than Mr. Illumi Zoldyck cleared my sight. My brain went wild. I didn’t know if Illumi died or if he became paralyzed, but one thing is for sure. We finally made eye contact that felt special; something I hadn’t felt since the day I met him. Our contact felt like magnets; an unbreakable bond. Suddenly, my icy hand felt warmth around my palm and fingers. Illumi simultaneously fell in a way that connected our hands. Our unbreakable bond, the warmth of his fingers laying on top of mine, and the gaze we shared somehow made me feel like it was just the two of us alone. I could hear his thoughts loud and clear; thoughts that came from the heart.

“Please help me. Before it’s too late, LuLu,” I cried, thinking I was going insane. “I don’t want to leave if it means leaving you behind.”

“I’m not going anywhere. Not without you.”

“Please! I want to live a life. Life as a bounty hunter, build a support system to our children, and a good lover is all I want to be.”

“You are a warrior and so am I. We have been through worse. This is nothing.”

Mere eye contact is all we need to exchange wandering conversations. The bond that we’ve created is something so strong that I haven’t realized it until now. The warmth emitted from his loose grasp seems to lose its effectiveness. It blurred my vision beyond recognition, leaving Illumi as a near figment of my imagination.

“Oh no. I guess this is it.”

My vision darkened. Illumi was slipping away as my lingering thoughts almost made my heart give out from exhaustion. I was ready to accept my fate, but it seemed like fate had other plans. My vision was still darkening by the second, but my sense of touch remained there. Smooth fingers outline my arms, torso, and chest. I heard muffled voices yelling and screaming about calling for assistance, but I didn’t care if they came or not. I made peace with my life’s end. Bit by bit, my breathing slowed down, but my sense of touch remained heightened. I felt a rubber glove touch my face and neck, examining it for any damage.

The jukebox continued to play Illumi’s favorite song, Put Your Head on my Shoulder. I remembered the day I laid my head on his shoulder; boy, what an endearing moment that was. It was something I took for granted, something I should have savored, for I never knew that this moment would have happened. The song grew muffled by the second verse. That verse repeated every time I tried to force myself to take what felt like my last gaze at my raven-haired beauty.

Just a kiss goodnight, maybe

You and I will fall in love (you and I will fall in love)

-FIN.

A/N: Since you’ve made it to the end, I’ll say something. The reader did not die in the end. They were later revived at the hospital.

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ladykissingfish · 3 years

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Under the Mistletoe with the Akatsuki // Part Eight // Kakuzu

What is with this group and wasting their free time doing such inane and pointless things? The old guy can think of at least 50 other activities (the majority of which involve making money) that everyone could be doing, rather than lining up to kiss each under a little green plant. When it’s his turn in the spotlight, he tries as hard as he can to back out of his “obligation” ... but Pein (and Kakuzu’s own persistent partner, Hidan) insist that Kakuzu participate. Kakuzu sighs and nods; he’s smart enough to know when he’s been defeated. However, Pein should know that Kakuzu will be adding a little extra money to his paycheck that week, for “hazard pay”.

Pein

Nagato was more interested in Kakuzu joining his group than any of the others. Immortality, money-sense, expertise and wisdom ... this is the man who survived the wars of the past. This is the man who survived the mighty Hashirama, God of all shinobi. Still, Nagato is no fool; he realizes that Kakuzu’s number one priority in life isn’t the Akatsuki, but money. Kakuzu would probably (and had likely thought about) betray them all in exchange for a tidy sum. So Nagato (as Pein) works to keep Kakuzu content enough to remain loyal, including making him the group’s treasurer and giving him complete control over everyone’s finances. And Kakuzu remains highly useful; strategizing, completing missions twice as fast (and ten times as efficient) as his younger teammates. Pein approaches Kakuzu and gives him a light kiss on the forehead, before returning to his room. He reminds himself to speak to Kakuzu later; he has some ideas about weapons he’d like to procure for the group, and needs to see if it would be financially feasible to do so.

Konan

Kakuzu genuinely likes Konan, and appreciates her company. Many men of Kakuzu’s generation were raised on the belief system that women were solely meant to be wives, child-bearers, and home-makers; to call a female a ninja was deemed unthinkable. But Kakuzu was a rarity in that he never saw this as being the case; man or woman, one’s inner strength was all that mattered in regards to being a shinobi. He’s spoken with Konan at length about her childhood, and the trauma she endured, and he knows that this little blue-haired lady is a sight tougher than a LOT of people (and Kakuzu’s met quite a few in his long life). Konan walks up to him and he smiles; it’s rare for Kakuzu to smile, but Konan brings it out of him. “Good evening, Kakuzu-san. I think it’s my turn.” He nods, and slips off his mask so that his lips are exposed. He leans down and very, very gently kisses her cheek. Her blushing skin is soft and her smile is beautiful as she thanks him and steps away, to let the next person go.

Kisame

Nobody knows this about Kakuzu (and he fears he would be mocked if they did), but the old guy puts a lot of emphasis on the idea of exercise. Five hearts is a lot of responsibility, and staying healthy is how Kakuzu intends to keep living forever. So every night, when the others are asleep and after he’s done with his reading, he’ll spend some time in his room exercising. One night Kisame passed by his open door and saw him using a pair of heavy books as make-shift weights. The next evening Kisame came to Kakuzu’s room with a set of real barbells , which he casually gave to Kakuzu with the admonition not to overdo it. Kakuzu greatly appreciated the gesture (and the unspoken support), and the two have been good friends ever since. But ... a kiss between them would just be too strange, so Kisame comes up with a better option: an arm-wrestling match, Kisame grabs the kitchen table and two chairs and sets them up under the mistletoe. Of course the rest of the Akatsuki gathers to watch, hooting and hollering and placing bets on who will win. Kisame and Kakuzu are both fairly evenly matched, so that challenge goes on for a while. Finally, with a final grunt of exertion, Kakuzu is able to slam Kisame’s hand into the table. Everyone claps, and Kisame laughs and tells Kakuzu that he’s “one tough son of a bitch”; high compliment coming from a man who was half-shark.

Itachi

Out of all the members of the Akatsuki, Itachi was by far the least problematic of the younger ones. Quiet, thoughtful, quick and efficient in completing missions. And polite; always forthcoming with “please” and “thank you”, and never failing to use honorifics with the others, even though some of them (ie Deidara and Hidan) don’t show him that same respect back. One time Kakuzu had caught a cold that stubbornly hung on for several days. Itachi came to his room every day with a cup of congestion-easing tea, something that Kakuzu didn’t ask for, but greatly appreciated nonetheless. Itachi comes up to him and nods. “Kakuzu-san.” “Itachi-san.” Itachi leans up and gives him a light kiss to the cheek, and Kakuzu is struck by a particular urge — to hug this kid. Something about him, perhaps everything about him, seems like a cry for parental love and affection. Kakuzu resists this odd impulse, but Itachi seems to sense that it’s something he wanted, because he leans over again and very briefly puts his arms around the older man. “Thank you,” he murmurs, before walking away. Kakuzu watches him go, slightly shaking his head.

Tobi

Tobi gives Kakuzu an uneasy feeling deep within his heart(s). Running around, speaking loudly, eating nothing but candy and sweets, acting like a complete fool — it’s an act. Kakuzu has never been more convinced of anything in his life. The only question is, why is Tobi putting on this act? To deceive them all into a false sense of security, before striking? Kakuzu has hunted bounties a good deal of his life, and a lot of the more difficult ones to catch have acted EXACTLY the way Tobi does, in order to throw off potential bounty hunters. Kakuzu learned to see through them, the same way he sees through Tobi. But to tip one’s hand and give away what you know is unthinkable in the chase and capture game, so Kakuzu never lets on what he actually believes. “Oh boy Kakuzu-san; does Tobi get a kissy now?!” Kakuzu nods, and Tobi slides his mask halfway off (Kakuzu notes the lines on the side of his face; accident, most likely. Possibly a disfiguring one) and the strange glint of his eye. Before Tobi can act, Kakuzu puts a hand on his face and kisses his forehead. “There. Now go.” Tobi slides the mask back on and hurries away with his usual chatter and giggling, and Kakuzu reminds himself to loom through the bingo book later for bounties with visible scarring on the left side of the face.

Zetsu

Five hearts means more blood needed to sustain said hearts. More blood means a stronger scent. A stronger scent means ... Kakuzu smells delicious to someone like Zetsu. Zetsu approaches him and looks around quickly; the two are alone. His brain runs through every possible scenario in which he could successfully kill and eat Kakuzu. He’s victorious in a few ... but most end with him mutilated by the man’s tentacles, and having to face the wrath of Pein on top of everything else. So he simply sighs, flicks out his tongue to taste the saltiness of Kakuzu’s cheek, and walks away again. Just that one taste was almost enough to make zetsu throw restraint to the wind and eat his fill, so he leaves before he can do anything he’ll regret. Kakuzu wipes off his cheek in mild disgust ... in a group full of freaks, Zetsu certainly seemed to take the cake.

Deidara

Kakuzu still remembers the day they brought this kid into the group. And that’s exactly what he was; a kid. Barely 15 years old, with a powerful “gift”, and full of anger at a village he felt betrayed him in not trying to understand his unique sense of ‘art’. Fast forward several years later and Deidara had changed, and most of that change was the better. Kakuzu could only surmise that the kid matured due to the constant council and guidance of his older and wiser partner Sasori; Kakuzu feels mildly jealous that Sasori was able to reign some measure of improvement over HIS young partner, but Kakuzu couldn’t do a thing with Hidan. Still, though, even Sasori hadn’t been able to completely tame the kid, as evidenced by Deidara managing to get BOTH arms blown off in a tussle with some Konoha nin. Kakuzu had been tasked with sewing his new arms back on, but to the kids credit, despite his painful the procedure had been, he didn’t utter a sound. Had even thanked Kakuzu, twice, afterwards. Deidara walks up to him and looks almost shy; 19 years old now and still with the face of a child. Kakuzu leans down and kisses the kid’s forehead, again noting his soft and smooth — and LONG — his hair was. It sways as Deidara walks away, and Kakuzu wonders how much he could get for those luscious locks, from the right buyer.

Sasori

Respect. Out of all the words that Kakuzu could use to describe how he felt about Sasori, Respect was at the top of the list. And the funny thing was, Kakuzu hadn’t even met the REAL Sasori until almost a year of being in the Akatsuki. The two had been sent on a mission, and at night, near the campfire, a soft metal sound made Kakuzu turn his head. It was a small, slender redhead, emerging from the being that Kakuzu had THOUGHT was a real person. The two had looked at each other for a while, and then started a game of cards as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. As time went on, the two became closer. They both shared an interest in/knowledge of medical jutsu and procedures, and would often come to one another with questions or with articles on different medicines. Kakuzu nods at him as he walks up, and Sasori does the same. He thinks about it, bends down and kisses Sasori’s left cheek, and Sasori smiles at him, bidding him a quiet Good Evening before going back to his room.

Hidan

“Hey old fuck; you’ve been dying to get your hands on my sexy body all day, haven’t ya, pervert?” Kakuzu would roll his eyes at Hidan’s comment, but at this point, he’s ridiculously used to the things his partner says and does. As he looks at Hidan’s face, he wonders, and not for the first time, whether this is a punishment of sorts. Gaining five hearts and creating a kind of immortality only came for Kakuzu at the end of a long and bloody road, one paved with the unwilling sacrifices of other people. Was it Fate, that the Gods had put THIS man, this loud, overbearing, foul-mouthed heathen, into his path? And as the one person who just might be immortal, too? Hidan often joked about “When all these other assholes bite the big one, me and you might as well get married, bastard.” But what in the world was he saying? Surely he was joking; why would someone as young and attractive as Hidan want to be with Kakuzu? Kakuzu who was heaven knows how many times Hidan’s age, and — “So we gonna slobber each other or what?” “You’ve got a big mouth, brat. Learn to shut up once in a while.” “MAKE me shut up, fuck-face.” So Kakuzu grabs Hidan around the waist, tilts him back, and sinks into his lips. Kakuzu’s mouth is rough and scarred but Hidan’s is smooth and soft, and the contrast creates a dizzying effect for both men. Hidan grasps Kakuzu’s shoulders tighter, leaving slight nail-prints in Kakuzu’s flesh. Their lips are touching but in this moment it feels like everything is touching, even their very souls (if either of them still had one, that is). When Kakuzu finally breaks the kiss and pulls Hidan back up, the white-haired immortal seems fairly disorientated ... but that doesn’t stop his mouth. “You’re an even bigger pervert than I thought, old fuck. Who the hell said you could stick your tongue in my mouth?? And why —” Kakuzu suddenly reaches out and grabs Hidan’s face with both hands, this time pulling him forward into a very soft, closed-mouth kiss. “Better?” Instead of a smartass answer, Hidan simply nods; and now he’s smiling as he walks away. If he were to turn around at any point, he’d surely gasp; because Kakuzu’s smile was even bigger than Hidan’s own. “Stupid kid,” Kakuzu mutters to himself, still smiling as he makes his way back to his room.

#the akatsuki #under the mistletoe #kissing #kakuzu #hidan #konan #pein #tobi #deidara #sasori #kisame #itachi uchiha #zetsu

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mercurypilgrim · 3 years

Note

Can we have Ven’fir rate the Dark council on level of hotness?

You bet we can!

Darth Acina

If Ven were not spoken for, he’d have the biggest thing for Acina. He sort of still does, a bit.

She’s classy and clever, and he’s always likes the put together ones. He loves her voice, thinks she’s gorgeous, and adores how well she gets her hands dirty. A woman who can tear her enemies apart without smudging her eyeliner? Unf.

A 9/10 for sure, the only deduction coming from her betrayal on Iokath. He had a very put out ‘really?’ moment.

Darth Arkous

Ven crushed. Ven crushed hard. Arkous ticked all Ven’s boxes. Elegant, cultured, handsome, not insane… Well, until the betrayal. Ven was very miffed by that but thinking Arkous was the kind of Sith he’d have gladly tumbled into bed with didn’t stop him from killing the man. An 8/10, because Ven really didn’t appreciate being made to look foolish.

Darth Aruk

Ven never bothered to find out who this is. 0/10 for being so boring that not even nosey Ven knew about you.

Darth Baras

Well. Ahem. Not a 0, surprisingly enough? Ven genuinely liked Baras, which made the betrayal sting even more. He was funny and Ven liked his voice. He also allowed Ven a lot of freedom where other Sith would not have. Sadly though, betrayal is not an attractive trait, and considering the pain he brought to Ven (physically, emotionally and reputationally), only merits a 5/10.

Darth Decimus

What, Ven would dearly like to know, is going on with this mans headwear? It’s awful. Decimus, why.

He also is a very callous individual and nothing turns Ven off like a lack of passion. Sorry Decimus, you rate a solid 1/10.

Darth Jadus

Ooh, an interesting one. He gets points for his wonderful voice, and then loses most of them because he’s a traitor and really, really creepy. Can no one go five minutes without upping and betraying everyone?

He’s tall, he’s built like a hovertank, he’s got a lovely voice, and he’s clever.

8/10.

Darth Malgus

Malgus. Oh, Malgus. You could have been so much higher than where you are. Ven was significantly more on board with his ideals than he let on, but honestly Malgus. The plan was bad, and you should feel bad. Also, he killed Eleena because he was an idiot. Ven does not approve of that kind of nonsense.

6/10.

Darth Marr

If he didn’t think he would have been eviscerated and dumped, Ven would have jumped him or gotten under his desk. Few things turn Ven on quite like competence and Marr has that in spades. He’s built, he’s smart, he’s got a hell of a voice, and he’s loyal.

50/10 with a bow on top. (Or somewhere else)

Darth Mortis

Ven likes older men. He isn’t sure why, but he just does. Mortis… he has something. A certain air about him of quiet competence, of cool power, and Ven likes that.

8/10.

Darth Ravage

Oh look, the mud on the bottom of Ven’s boots.

Ravage isn’t terrible to look at, Ven had to admit, but he was just so annoying. He would have been more handsome if his facial expression hadn’t been akin to smelling something foul, and his constant comments really grated on Ven’s nerves.

There are few people Ven could claim to genuinely despise, and Ravage is right there on the list.

-5/10

Darth Rictus

If the only thing Ven knows about you is that your kinda racist and you’re really, really old, you’re not getting any.

0/10.

Darth Thanaton

Ooh, yes.

Ven’s type shows itself yet again. Older, classy, smart, and cultured. Ven would have happily played boytoy for him for a while. Of course, Thanaton does the dumb thing and challenges Avior, so bungling that one takes a few points off.

Still, an 8/10 because Ven would in a heartbeat.

Darth Vengean

Another truly horrendous choice of headwear. Vengean was a bit of a blowhard and a warmonger, and Ven likes neither of those things. Truly, he had almost no opinion on him because he ended up on the wrong end of Ven’s lightsaber soon enough.

3/10.

Darth Vowrawn

Well then. Well then. Ven would likes to say ‘yes please and thank you’ while he takes his clothes off. Vowrawn is blisteringly clever, and he’s funny. What Ven wouldn’t give for more Sith who are funny. A gentleman with all the trappings of a rogue just does it for Ven.

10/10

Darth Zhorrid

Zhorrid would have been higher on the list had she not been… Zhorrid. She’s pretty and Ven feels a bit sorry for her, but he’s more of a mind to kill her out of mercy than share her bed. She treats Imperials like playthings and that’s something Ven really can’t get over.

4/10

Bonus

Darth Nox (Yare) ( @darkshadeless ;) )

Ven would be flirting within minutes (seconds, even) of meeting him. He’s built, he’s clever, he’s badass, he’s surprisingly sweet for a Sith. Ven would enjoy his company, and that’s worth a ton. He’s also gets flustered upon being hit on, and Ven does love a cute blush.

10/10.

Darth Nox (Avior)

Heh. Avior does have a certain something about him that Ven appreciates. He’s very clever and even though he tends to make Ven feel a bit stupid, it never comes across as intentional. He’s got a dry sense of humour and likes to banter, and Ven likes those cheekbones. Still, Avior is ace and aro and even if Ven flirts with him for fun, he knows not to press. Avior isn’t interested, and even Ven isn’t that much of an ass to ignore that.

7/10.

---

Disregarding the fact that Ven is a bit of a ho, he actually wouldn’t get naked for a lot of the Council. He’s surprised too.

#swtor #long post #ask #Ven would sit on Marr's throne in nothing but that bow #And he's convinced Vowrawn is kinky #Ven has thought about this #because of course he has #Yare though...#Ven would be all over him in a heartbeat #XD #Poor Yare

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heartfulofsighs · 3 years

Text

Dumb

Heyyyy so @negrowhat requested a scenario from me involving Jackson being very obvious but reader being dense so here it is.

Disclaimer this has nothing to do with Something to Do with Jackson though that story is very very similar. This was more of me trying to do something small and nice for a friend who is always always there for me!

No warnings!!!!

He was beaming at you, waiting on a response because that’s how conversations worked. He had said something (and god knows what it was) and now you had to say something. You had to ignore the buzzing of your phone in your pocket and say something back.

“....unless you’re busy that day, it isn’t a big deal.” He sounded like it was a big deal though. Men made everything a big deal. Case in point your phone. That was another man, making everything big.

“I can make it, send me the info.” You finally got out. His face relaxed and he leaned a little over the table.

“I would really love if you came.” He was adding so much emphasis but it would be rude to laugh at his earnest expression. Why did you do that? You were always finding things funny that were not funny at all.

Jackson was frowning at you. Well not at you but in the mirror that you both were looking into. You ignored him, and once again tried not to laugh at his pout.

“You didn’t pick up last night.” He stated. You adjusted the jacket on his frame then stepped back to study the entire look.

“I was busy.” You took it off, leather and black would be better. Or maybe…

“Busy with what?” His pout grew, his lips turned so far down you knew he was going to whine all day.

“I had a date, you knew that, I told you Monday.” You walked back to the rack and pulled a leather jacket, “what was so important that you texted me 50 times?”

When you turned back to him his face had changed. He scratched at his chin, “you forgot drama night.”

Drama night. You wanted to roll your eyes but you figured there was no point.

“Jackson,” you walked over, he shrugged off the first jacket and put on the second, “I don’t text you 50 times when you miss drama night.” You pointed out, “and, you’ve said a bunch of times you like when it’s all out so we can binge it.” You stepped back, much better with leather. He rolled his eyes because you had caught him. He had no defense.

“Don’t pout.” You warned, “you’ll crease your makeup.”

He gave up his frown and turned so he was facing you.

“So how was it?” He asked. You were still studying his outfit, deciding on whether you liked it or not.

“How was what?” You reached out and adjusted the white shirt under his jacket, “the date?”

He nodded.

“It was nice, Frankco is really sweet.” Which was true, he was sweet and patient. He put up with your busy schedule and treated you with such care. Jackson’s frown was back. It deepened, darkened his entire face. But you ignored him. He was like a protective older brother. He didn’t trust anyone with his close friends. But he would get over it, the last boyfriend you had he didn’t hate completely. He even double dated with you, which had been...well an effort had been made. You had to at least give him that.

“Jackson,” you stepped back again, “I know you’re incredibly protective of all your friends.” You stepped back up and patted his shoulders, “and I really really appreciate it, but I’m a big girl...I can take care of myself.”

He swallowed and for a moment it looked like his eyes dipped to your lips. Probably a figment of your imagination. He closed his eyes then opened them with an odd resolved look on his face.

“I know.” He granted.

After Jackson’s shoot you had several others to travel too. Thankfully the other jobs meant you didn’t have to deal with his constant questioning. Theoretically he would only be this way until he got use to the idea of Frankco. Once he got over his initial protectiveness everything would be smooth sailing.

You pulled a black leather skirt from a new rack of clothes and looked at the Lona, the model.

“What do you think of that one restaurant…” you held it up and tried to recall the name, “Tinkco’s? I went last night...and it was pretty good.”

She shrugged and the look on her face was very knowing, “I’m sure it’s nice, but I know you’re bringing this up because of our friend Jackson.” She laughed. You shook your head, “I was trying to recommend you the food…”

“You’re trying to Segway into him freaking out over your date. Like he freaks out for every date you have.”

It was your turn to frown. She waited for you to contradict her. When you didnt she went on, “and me and you are now going to embark on ‘why is he so protective of his friends’,” she got closer, “and guess what I’m gonna point out again?”

She took the hanger out of your hand and held it up to her waist so you could imagine it.

“I’m gonna say cause he’s in love with you and you’re dense.”

When you looked up at her her smile was sincere but irritating.

“I was just going to bring up the soup.” You bit out. She sighed, “ok love, tell me about the soup?”

“The French onion was to die for.” It sounded flat even to your own ears. Lona couldn’t help herself, she tried not to laugh then failed miserably.

“Honey, respectfully, please stick to styling. An actor you are not.” She said.

“Put the skirt on Lorna.” You had no reason to be snappy but you hated when she knew she was right and rubbed it in. You just wanted to mention Jackson’s irritation you didn’t want to delve too far into it. Sure the two of you had these talks before, here and there. She was making it sound frequent.

“I don’t want you to be mad, I’m sorry, let’s say it’s because he’s protective then, we don’t have to say that it’s because he’s jealous.” She smoothed her hands over the skirt, “I love this by the way.”

She swayed her hips a little, “can we do one of this cool harnesses on the top?”

You let her turn the conversation. Why not? There was no point in rehashing what you had discussed before. Your phone buzzed. When you pulled it out of your pocket there was a slew of messages already.

“Is it our protective friend?” Lorna asked. You closed your eyes then counted to ten, you didn’t want to snap again.

“It is,” You scanned your phone’s screen. He was proposing moving drama night to tonight.

“What is he blowing you up about now?” She stepped closer trying to see your screen.

“Drama night again,” you sighed but there was a part of you that was excited. This meant that he wasn’t going to fight with you anymore. You guys were going back to best friend stuff in such a short amount of time.

“Wow, looking at him being mature…” She turned back to the mirror and looked the skirt over again, “with your last boyfriend he sulked for weeks.”

It had it been that long? It wouldn’t do you any good to think too hard about it. You went back to the rack and found the harness she wanted to wear. You allowed the “excited for dramanight” part of yourself grow bigger. Sitting on the couch munching snacks and yelling at the tv sounded like the perfect night.

Jackson had the biggest comfiest couch. His marble coffee table was piled with all your favorite snacks. The hot cheetos, the sour patch kids, red vines, skittles (but the tropical kind that comes in the purple bag) along with all the healthy snacks he liked. You stretched out on your usual half of the couch and sighed. He wasn’t in the living room or the kitchen, he was probably brushing his teeth or messing with his hair.

“Jackson!!” Your voice echoed and you winced. “Hurry up!! I’m gonna fall asleep!!”

Coming!” His voice echoed back. You settled deeper in his couch and really stretched your legs. The drama you were on was light hearted. The female lead was just trying to make it through her first year of college without the same mishaps and fears that plagued her the last year of highschool. She was adorable and positive. The last few episodes had aired weeks ago but both of you hadn’t had time.

“Ok all set.” He came padding in with a shirt in his hands. You couldn’t help looking at his abs, basically on display. Such a show off. He plopped down on his side of the couch with a satisfied grunt.

“Thanks for the snack spread.” You turned and faced him, “you got all the good stuff.”

“No problem,” he leaned forward and grabbed his vegetable chips, “I know what you like, it wasn’t hard to find.”

He picked up the remote and started the show. There was something about the look on his face, his forehead was wrinkled in concentration. You didn’t ask he would tell you eventually what the problem was. You had to pay attention to the subtitles anyway. The heroine was finally feeling comfortable in her classes, she was getting along with her roommate, it all seemed so perfect. If only real life was as cute. If only-

“Hey can I ask you something?”

You peeled your eyes from the screen and turned to him. “Can you pause it first?” You asked. He did, when he put the remote down he rubbed his face hard.

“Ok what’s wrong?” You asked, “you’ve been in a pissy mood around me what did I do?” You pushed. He actually chuckled before he raised his head.

“A pissy mood.” He echoed. You shrugged and munched more hot Cheetos.

“Is it Frankco?” You said between bites, “you don’t like him even though you’ve never met him.” You pointed out. “I bet if you came out with us-“

“I don’t like him because I’m jealous.” He said each word very carefully.

“What?!” You put your chip bag down heart hammering.

“Jackson, you have nothing to be jealous of. You make way more money.”

He looked at you completely stunned. His eyes were wide and the silence stretched incredibly long. You thought maybe he would just drop it but he kept blinking at you like some sort of goldfish.

“You are so dumb.” He finally got out.

“What?!”

“You can’t be this dumb...it’s impossible.” He added. You sat up on his couch a deep frown forming on your face. You were in fact not dumb and you didn’t appreciate him calling you such. Dumb? He was being dumb, jealous of someone he didn’t even know and for what?

“I’m. Not. Dumb.” You spoke each word clearly trying your best not to clench your teeth harder. “I don’t get what the issue is?!” Raising your voice was very out of character but at this point you both seemed to be missing each other’s points.

“I’m jealous,” he stood up, “because,” he walked in front of you and bent down so he was face to face with you, “because I’m in love with you dummy and I’m not sure how to make it more clear then this.” He leaned forward and pecked you.

It was your turn to blink at him like a fish. You touched your lips, “in love with me?” The deep confusion made him laugh.

“Yeah dummy, in love with you.”

And just like that everything was changed.

#Jackson wang #look a request #jackson wang fanfic #sfw #Dumb #thanks friend I really enjoyed writing this

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cynthiaandsamus · 3 years

Text

Custom Toonami Block Week 72 Rundown

Code Geass: Lelouch continues his plan to kidnap a little Chinese girl and Todoh gets to show off his new Zangetsu so the Black Knights enjoy having two Knightmares worth a damn for once, though as if on cue Kallen gets caught in the most bullshit way possible bringing them back down to one Ace. Xingke has home field advantage and a new Knightmare with spinny dealies and turns Zero’s bullshit tactics of fighting in the one place that basically wipes out the enemy for him against him. However the gods of the Code Geass world themselves said “You know Xingke’s way too OP, better Kimimaro him and make it so he’s terminally ill so he can’t do too much” so now the Black Knights are literally backed into a cave and instead of letting Xingke just finish the job the Chinese government swoops in with Britannian reinforcements to try and claim victory and seize power all at once. Also Lelouch is somehow back at school despite being in China and I don’t remember this part at all but I guess it answers my question from last time. I think it has something to do with Sayoko and realistic Lupin III style mask or something.

Inuyasha: The Panther Demon filler continues as Inuyasha’s Group, Koga and his two goons and Sesshomaru/Jaken make their way into Panther Demon territory after Inuyasha breaks their barrier. Koga meets up with Royokhan and gets the low down on the Panther Demon backstory with Taiga killing their leader hundreds of years ago and then Sesshomaru beating them 50 years ago but losing a lot of men in the process. It’s kind of a neat turn seeing Jaken go try to get Inuyasha and Sesshomaru’s like “fine I guess we’ll let him help” and then getting mad when he finds out he can’t even come because he’s nailed to a tree. Like it’s a weird bit of complexity for Sesshomaru to feel betrayed by not getting help he never really wanted and now being determined to fight off the Panthers alone. Anyway all the groups square off against the Panther mini-bosses, Lightning Panther beats Miroku and Sango and gets them captured with Kagome, Wind Panther fights Koga to a draw, Ice Panther continues her beef with Sesshomaru and Fire Panther keeps teasing Inuyasha. It’s kinda nice that they give every group someone to fight and something to do but I kinda wish these fights lasted longer and Fire/Ice panther were scaled up a bit to match Inuyasha and Sesshomaru’s power because they’re firing huge sword beams at this point and it just doesn’t seem like they’d have this much trouble with them. Also Jaken and Inuyasha meet and both of them are like ‘hey you seen my group?’ which I just thought was funny.

Yu Yu Hakusho: A new arc begins and honestly this is the Yu Yu Hakusho arc I remember the least because I think I missed an episode or two in the middle of it since YYH came on right around when I got home from school back in the day. But yeah, Kuwabara suddenly decides he doesn’t wanna do demon shit anymore and Yusuke’s like “fine it wasn’t your job anyway you made me let you come last time” and then Kuwabara immediately backpedals on it because there’s a hot girl he wants to save. Also they still need to give Keiko a lame backstory about Yusuke interning with a detective that doesn’t explain all the zombies after her but Kuwabara’s sister being like “Damn who’s the spirit baby, here’s $50 for the bus” is fine apparently. Anyway we get the Toguro brothers’ introduction and it’s neat to see them effortlessly make Yukina cry to make jewels and then have Younger Toguro give her some advice about making herself cry on cue so she doesn’t have to suffer every time which is some weird tough love take it or leave it advice that says a lot about his character right away. Also Yusuke and Kuwabara fight a giant plant demon who’s all like “Yeah I’m a demon but I got bills to pay bitch” and like what bills does a demon have and why can’t they just steal from the rich human but it doesn’t matter because Yusuke and Kuwabara just blow him away.

Fate Zero: So the church is like ‘yo free Command Seal to whoever fucks up Caster’ which is strange because yeah Caster’s killing children and shit but UBW Caster killed a bunch of peeps too and no one blinked an eye and Kiritsugu blew up a fucking building and no one cares so I have no idea where the line is here. Also Iskandar gets a shirt from amazon and it’s hilarious but he forgot to order pants and Waver tells him he’s not allowed to wear pants until he murders a historical figure and Iskander’s like “you know what that’s fair” so he’s just gonna be freeballing it for a while I guess. Strategy meeting with Kiritsugu, Iris and Saber happens and Saber seems more than a little pissy that Kiritsugu doesn’t address her directly and is basically treating her like a Pokemon. They talk about the four spots the grail can appear at and since we’ve already seen UBW we know it’s gonna be in the huge residential place so it can murder everyone and also Shirou. Also Caster shows up for Tentacle Hentai time with Saber along with more child murder but Lancer’s like “Hey I am the Vegeta of this story and no one kills Saberot but me” while Kiritsugu does his Homura Akemi thing to fight off Kayneth’s T-1000 Black Clover Nozel Silva Mercury Magic which is just amazingly amusing to me that Kiritsugu’s fighting style is to just shoot all these demi-god mages in the face and end his battles in the most anticlimactic way possible.

Konosuba: So Kazuma’s dead again. Shoulda really occurred to him sooner that dying again would get him reincarned again but nah, Samurai Santa has to come off him so he can meet Eris but he actually seems to miss his friends a bit. Like he doesn’t ask to go back specifically we’re not being that cheesy here but considering Kazuma’s two purposes in this story are to complain and explain the joke it is nice that he has some lingering feelings for his party. Then Aqua’s all “Hey fucker get back here, you’re not getting rid of me that easily” and despite Eris saying they can’t just revive him because he doesn’t belong there Aqua just does it anyway, really gives the vibe of an older coworker being like “you’re not supposed to do it this way but this is the way I do it” kind of deal. But yeah Kazuma has a crush on Eris now and despite these guys saying how much they hate being in a group together they sure seem to turn down every out they have to get away from each other, idk I get the joke and jadedness but a little more sincerity would be nice.

Sailor Moon Crystal: Usagi wakes up at Mamoru’s place and he gives her his backstory about how he became Amnesiac Batman in Evening Wear. Luna knows Sailor V but for some reason is really cagey about divulging that to the rest of the group even though literally everyone has been assembled now. There’s a dated plot about Blockbuster taking over people’s minds that Usagi literally handwaves away when Zoisite comes out and punches her and defeats the whole team with one dark energy wave. Tuxedo Mask comes in and punches him in the face and then remembers he doesn’t have any powers and gets owned. The two have a sweet but ultimately cringy reunion before Sailor V saves their worthless asses.

Durarara!!: With Mikado’s status as Founder of the Dollars revealed, Seiji goes on a stabbing rampage again and luckily keeps stabbing the only people that don’t actually get hurt by it, this time being Celty. Celty’s about to go grim reaper on Seiji’s worthless ass before Mika Harima runs in and tells everyone she isn’t really Celty’s head, weirdly enough Mikado recognizes this right before she says anything somehow, like makes sense Celty realizes it’s not her head but Mikado has no frame of reference aside from knowing she was wearing Mika’s clothes which in her cover story would be explained by Celty’s head leeching off Mika’s dead body. But yeah despite Seiji spending 18 hours a day staring at Mika he apparently couldn’t tell either which really throws a wrench in his “power of love justifies indiscriminate murder” philosophy which amuses both Izaya and me. Mikado breaks down the craziness that’s just transpired what with the stalking, murder, incest, identity theft, actual theft, and stabbing and tries to put a positive spin on it in that Seiji and Mika are both fucking crazy and deserve each other but it’s a hard sell my dude. Izaya tells Mikado that he’s going to be an excitement junkie like him soon if he keeps ramping up life in this crazy city and Celty just kinda forgives Shinra for knowing where her head is without telling her and also plastic surgerizing a yandere girl to look like her and give her her name which seems a little weird for them to just punch each other and call it a wash when Shinra was arguably as yandere as Mika here and they still get unofficially married. Seiji tells Mika he doesn’t love her but because of all the shit she went through to literally mold herself into the object of his obsession he guess she can hang around until he gets the headless sex toy of his dreams so… happy ending I guess. Everyone in this town is fucking crazy and they forgive each other way too easily but for a show that swings back and forth between how fucked up people are and saying humanity is fundamentally pretty decent I guess that’s kind of the point.

#ooc #Toonami #Custom Toonami Block #Code Geass #Inuyasha #Yu Yu Hakusho #Fate Zero #Konosuba #Sailor Moon Crystal #Durarara!!

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pudgecuddles · 4 years

Text

Fic Recs!

Sorry this took a while to compile, but here you go, just in time for your birthday @chocochub!

I went ahead and tried to describe any triggers or reasons for the rating (sex vs. violence). I’m sorry if I missed anything that makes you uncomfy that‘s the last thing I want!

Also I got really sleepy around the time I was formatting this so sorry if there’s any errors with links, grammar, or trigger warnings. I’ve tried to be as thorough as I can, but many of these I’ve finished over a year ago and can’t recall every theme or possibly upsetting event :(

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Red Sky in Morning by GinForInk

Rating: E for Sex, Violence and Loss of Limb

Relationships: TaeJoon, YoonKook

Themes: Pirate AU, Curse AU, Adventure, Supernatural, Mystery, Horror

Summary: Captain Namjoon's cursed crew searches the Caribbean for a ship that can save them, and Namjoon's own men have more magic than they let on.

My notes: Even though there’s sex, it’s less smut and more romantic/stress relief than purposefully pornographic. Very heavy on Supernatural and Adventure. Characters are written very well! Definitely a favorite of mine.

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Hijacker’s Island by Gobi17

Rating: T for semi-graphic violence and attempted sexual assault from a villain.

Relationships: None

Themes: Hijack Gone Wrong, Plane Crash, Island Survival, Befriending the Baddies, Psychological Thriller, Mystery, Action

Summary: Jungkook's flight home ends in disaster as a group of hijackers take over the plane, and events quickly spiral out of control.

My Notes: I really loved this one. It was an interactive story where the audience was able to choose what choices Jungkook (the main character) would make. His survival depended on the answers, and I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. There is a lot of platonic character bonding, so no sex, however there is a bad guy that fixates on Kookie that later attempts to sexually assault him. If this is triggering to you please do not read.

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Butterfingers by jincherie

Rating: G

Relationships: RM/Reader

Themes: Co-workers, Teachers, Hybrids, Penguin-Hybrid Joon, Heavy Fluff, Penguin Courting uwu

Summary: He had you at the very first pebble he gave you.

My notes: Extremely cute. I’m not usually on for Reader fics as they’re usually rife with unneeded smut and OOC-ness, but I love Namjoon being an awkward, unusual Hybrid and I LOVE cute, animalistic behavior.

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Do Not Meddle In The Affairs Of Dragons, For You Are Crunchy And Taste Good With Ketchup by Runchrandom

Rating: T

Relationships: OT7, but Namjoon-centric

Themes: Supernatural, Humor, Crack treated seriously, part of a series, Dragon-Joon

Summary: In which Namjoon is a man who doesn't know what he wants, then accidentally figures it out while turning into a very large lizard.

My notes: Part of a very cute and funny series of Supernatural boyband BTS, navigating their inherent differences and similarities. Also lots of protective Dragon Namjoon taking good care of his Treasures UwU

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you have 1 new message by bazooka

Rating: T

Relationship: NamJin (my OTP)

Themes: Humor, Text Fic, Imbedded Pictures, Suspense/Mystery

Summary:

r u n c h r a n d a.

fuck

this is going to sound like the weirdest shit

okay look i used ur selcas to catfish and this older dude is gonna buy me stuff but i have to send him a selca with a peace sign

~ * ~ pingkeu jin ~ * ~

hahahahahahaha wtf

My notes: As someone who steers clear of text fics, this one I actually loved! Very funny and clever, the developing relationship between NamJin is hilarious. It also turns into a mystery/thriller???

(You can only read it if you have an Ao3 account as it’s locked to users only)

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Vending Machines and Bad Ideas by smiles

Rating: G

Themes: Blind Dates, Meet Cute, Humor, Rom-Com

Relationships: 2Seok

Summary: Hoseok needed to focus, regroup. He needed to evaluate the situation, weigh his options, and find a solution. He needed to work through this like the capable adult he was. He needed to get his hand out of this stupid vending machine.

My notes: 2Seok is a guilty pleasure of mine lol. This was cute, funny and sweet.

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Human by SunShineSwag

Rating: E for Graphic Violence, Many Murders, Sex, Mentions of Past Abuse and Temporary Character Death

Themes: Serial Killer/Dexter AU, Suspense/Mystery, Romance, Crime, Fluff, Hobi Teaches Yoongi How To Emotion™

Relationships: SOPE, NamJin, side VMinKook

Summary: During the day, Yoongi works for the police as a forensic expert.

But when night falls, he becomes a nightmare.

A serial killer.

My notes: Just finished this one and wow I’m so in love! It seems really intimidating from the tags and summary, but I swear it is also super ooey gooey soft and mushy. There is lots of angst, suspense and hurt/comfort, but with a very happy ending! I actually avoided this fic for a few months cause I didn’t think I was in the right headspace for something super dark, but it was actually quite fluffy.

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Jungkook’s House for the Wayward Werewolf by Rivertoforever

Rating: T for Non-Sexual Intimacy

Themes: Supernatural, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, slight Dom/sub dynamics, Werewolfs, Very Non-Traditional ABO, Asexual/Poly Relationship, Roomate AUish

Relationships: OT7 but very Jungkook-centric

Summary: Being the only human in a household of werewolves can lead to strange experiences, mixed signals, weird behaviour and a lap full of fur.

My notes: This is one of my favorite stories of all time! It’s unfortunately unfinished and has been for a while, so if you’re not a fan of WIPs this won’t be for you :( Otherwise, I reread it all the time! I remember loving the relationship and dynamic between the characters and how they were all very respectful of JK not wanting to be physical with them. A year later I discover I’m Ace! Haha! I consider this fic one of the many things that pushed me in the right direction. It’s very cute, fluffy and soft!

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[And uh... I considered putting this on the list before but thought it was a little too heavy on sex/smut so I took it off, but I’ll leave it here for you to decide. I think that the smut scenes in this fic aren’t necessarily there for “smexy cock fun times” and are more outright statements on gender equality, sociology, informed consent and healthy relationships. Hence why I’ve left it in!]

Mentoring on Marsa by FlyYouFools1

Rating: E for Sex, Firm Dub-Con, Discussion of Non-Con, Violence, Unhealthy Relationships

Themes: ABO, Technically Aliens?, Societal Differences, Culture Shock, Kind of Sugar Baby AU, Viva La Omegan Revolution, Teaching Alphas to Not Be Dicks™, One Big Fat Metaphor for Real Life Gender Discrimination and Systematic Abuse

Relationships: VMinKook, YoonJinNamSeok

Summary: Jungkook comes to the planet Marsa after being promised a full scholarship to Marsa National University. When the scholarship falls through, his academic advisor gives him the number for a mentoring service for newly stranded omegas on Marsa. With rent due, no way home, and no success in finding a job, Jungkook calls the number. The organization sends him Min Yoongi, a fellow omega who's been living on Marsa for 8 years. Yoongi teaches him how to survive. Jungkook's first attempt at survival is alpha couple Jimin and Taehyung.

My notes: This is the really long part one that just finished. It’s 50 chapters of emotional healing, statements on consent, character growth and sneaky omegas. I’m a huge fan of non-traditional ABO fics, and I love when sex is treated not as a “just cause I can”, but as an actual example of gender politics and relationship growth. If anyone is aspec, this might not be the story for you! But if you can mentally push past the idea of sex, I assure you it’s not “porn for the sake of porn”.

#phew #its finally done #sorry this took so long!#I was going through all of my bookmark folders for fics that matched what you said you liked #I specifically left out the ones with smut death or extremely dark themes #and I also made sure nearly all of these fics are finished or one shots #happy birthday again!

22 notes · View notes

writethehousedown · 4 years

Text

Trust Fund, Gold Tongue 2/7 (Crygi) - Peridot

A/N: Thank you to everyone who showed the last chapter some love! I’m really enjoying writing this little universe, and I hope you’re enjoying it so far! My interpretation of this prompt is minuscule, but it’s there if you squint, I promise! As always my sideblog is @artificialperidot, and you can also check this fic out on ao3 if you’re feeling extra generous! Hope you enjoy!

Gigi wondered how she came to sit around a table with all four of her parents around one table at the same time. It was a modern day miracle, seeing they all hated each other in some way- even the couples couldn’t stand each other half of the time. But she supposed their family had an appearance to keep up, and she didn’t want to think about how the tabloids would document their secret family hatred if someone leaked the information that they were sitting at different tables in the dining hall.

The tabloids would be absolutely correct, though.

As a little kid, Gigi wanted nothing more than for her families to come together. At seventeen, she realised that the adults sitting opposite from her were all idiots.

Gigi loved her mom, she really did, but her taste in men was appalling to say the least. Her newest man, James, had only been around for about a month, and Gigi was already anticipating the messy breakup, where she’d have to pick up the pieces on her mother’s behalf, holding her whilst she cried and convincing her to get her life together again. It was a cycle that was used to, and one that didn’t look like it would break any time soon. Her mom cycled through men like tracks on a really terrible CD, and Gigi had never liked a single one of them. The worst of all of them, though, was her dad.

She did not want to even think about him, let alone sit through a three course meal with him every evening. Or that 30 year old with bleach blonde hair hanging off of his arm who had asked Gigi to call her mom. As if.

The five of them sat around the restaurant table in the busy country club dining hall, and Gigi found herself in a world of her own, absentmindedly twirling her straw in her drink and ignoring the chatter of the others around the table. Her parents made painfully awkward small talk between them as they waited for their meals to arrive, something about business finances or their new cars or the stock market. Gigi zoned out - her parents never really seemed interested in including her in their conversations. Not that Gigi would’ve wanted to talk to them, anyway.

She found it funny, though, that none of them would want to be within 50 feet of each other if it wasn’t for her. She was the reason they all ended up at her dad’s country club every summer. She usually lived with her mom in their penthouse, and put up with whatever boyfriends she had, because although it wasn’t perfect, anything was better than her dad’s house. But, legally, her dad was supposed to see her at least a few weeks a year, and so she and her mom and whoever her mom was seeing were all dragged to this hellhole every summer.

Three months she inwardly reminded herself. Three more months, and then she’d be eighteen, and her parents would finally let her buy a place of her own, and she would never have to set foot in a country club again. She’d been begging to buy a house of her own from the day she turned sixteen, but her parents would hear none of it, telling her that she was far too young to be trusted to spend that much money all at once. They didn’t seem to have an issue when she blew thousands on clothes or cars or house parties all at once, though. The hypocrites.

Her eyes scanned the restaurant around her, searching for a distraction, and she caught sight of the guy she had thrown her drink at earlier - her dad’s friend, David or Dave or something. She noted his change of shirt from the blue polo that had been drenched in pink lemonade, and smiled at the memory. He got what he deserved, she thought. Nothing made her more mad than people who were rude to the staff.

She was sad she had to run away without that girl though. Crystal. She was pretty adorable.

She hoped she’d see her around again, soon.

Before long, a waiter came by their table and served their food, plates piled high with steak and grilled veg and some sort of fancy sauce on the side. Gigi’s mouth watered - as much as she hated having dinner with her family, the food was never a let down.

She was halfway through a mouthful of roast beef when her mom started talking again, but this time it was to her.

“You know, Gigi, James’s nephew is going to be spending a few weeks at the country club this summer,” she said, taking a sip of her wine.

“Oh, cool,” Gigi replied, disinterested.

“His name’s Matthew. He’s around your age, too,” she said, nodding and sharing a knowing look with the others around the table. “We were all thinking…maybe the two of you could, you know, go on a date.”

Gigi almost choked on her mouthful.

Go on a what?!

“Um, thanks, but no thanks.” she replied, her voice a little shaky. She could feel her heart start pounding in her chest a little harder and a little faster than she would’ve liked.

“Oh, Gigi, give him a chance! He’s a nice young man, isn’t he, James?” her mom said, nudging her boyfriend with her arm. James nodded dumbly, before shoving another mouthful of potato into his mouth.

Tension rose in Gigi’s body, her mom’s words ringing in her ears. “I’m sure he’s a nice guy, but I’m not really looking to date someone right now,” she said, doing her best to be polite and not get too emotional.

“Come on Gigi, you’re almost eighteen. It’s about time you got a boyfriend,” her dad butted in, his tone seeming too aggressive for the conversation. She was surprised that her mom and dad had actually agreed on something for once, even if it was for entirely different reasons. Her mom, deep down, wanted to protect her, for her to be happy - her dad wanted her to be someone else’s responsibility.

And Gigi wanted anything but a boyfriend.

Now would seem like a good time for Gigi to remind her parents that she was a lesbian, but she didn’t particularly want to have another screaming match in a public dining hall. She had tried to have that conversation before, and it didn’t end well. She pictured the way her mom had looked so scared when her dad had yelled and rampaged through their house. How she had told her afterwards to not bring it up in front of her father again. How guilty she had felt for causing her dad to explode like that, and for making her mom so scared.

Her parents had broken up not long after that. And Gigi never brought it up again.

She had kept her love life completely private from then on, sharing secret rendezvous with girls at parties that she would never see again, and playing the role of the straight girl in front of her family. And, her family put a bandage on the stab wounds and acted as if nothing had ever happened.

But, pretending to be straight and actually dating a boy were completely different things, and there was no way she was going to let her family force her into a relationship. No way.

“Sorry, but I’m not interested. End of story,” she said firmly, her tone cutting, and it seemed to shut them up.

The five of them ate the rest of their meals in relative silence, the tension so thick it could’ve been cut with a knife. Gigi was suddenly thankful for the old saying that it was rude to talk with your mouth full. Gigi kept her mouth full as often as possible.

Dinner came and went, and desserts were ordered, Gigi opting for a raspberry sorbet that was new to the menu this year. Her parents ordered more drinks to go alongside their desserts, and Gigi wished she was a couple of years older so that she could have a few shots to make sitting through dinner more bearable.

Minutes ticked by like hours as she waited for her dessert to arrive, to give her something sweet to distract from the sour atmosphere. When it did though, she was met by an even sweeter surprise.

“One raspberry sorbet?” a voice asked from behind her.

She looked up to see a familiar face placing the pink dessert down on their table and her heart skipped a beat.

Crystal. The girl that had infatuated Gigi to the point of provoking her to throw her drink in a grown man’s face. She wasn’t too easy to forget.

Her red curls were tucked behind her ears, and she looked as though a faint blush was creeping over her cheeks. She smiled, giving Gigi a knowing look and a small nod, before walking away from their table, bouncing a little as she walked.

God she was cute.

Gigi was suddenly far less interested in her dessert.

“Uh, excuse me for a moment,” she said, and before her parents could protest, she abruptly stood up from the table and left, set on going after Crystal. She wasn’t exactly sure what she intended to say to her, but just seeing her had flipped her mood on its head entirely, and God knows Gigi needed some serotonin.

Plus, flirting with a member of staff would make her summer a little more bearable. Because what her parents didn’t see was none of their business, right?

It didn’t take her long to catch up to Crystal, and just before she made her way back into the staff kitchen area, Gigi grabbed her wrist and tugged her out of the restaurant, around a corner in the porch where they couldn’t be seen.

Crystal looked a little surprised, and took a second to catch her breath, tucking her hands into the front pocket on her apron. “A hello would’ve been nice,” she said in a slightly hushed tone. “You scared me.”

“Nice to see you again too, Crystal,” Gigi replied, and Crystal giggled softly, her nose scrunching up causing Gigi’s stone heart to melt, just a little. From this close together, Gigi could make out the freckles that speckled the girl’s face, and she thought they made her even more beautiful.

Crystal bit her lip. “Um, I never got a chance to thank you, for, ya know… helping me out earlier today,” she said, scratching the side of her temple slightly.

Gigi smirked, thinking about the way the man looked with his wet hair matted to his forehead like dripping curtains. “It was nothing, really. That guy deserved it.”

“His shirt will be sticky forever now,” Crystal said, putting on the voice of a maniacal evil scientist. “The perfect revenge.”

Gigi chuckled, shaking her head in disbelief at how adorably goofy this girl was. But, she wouldn’t be Gigi Goode if she didn’t take an opportunity to mess with her a little when she saw the chance.

“His shirt is not the only thing I can make wet and sticky,” she said, with a cocky wink and a shit-eating grin, before dissolving into laughter.

Crystal’s mouth fell open in a fake gasp as she pretended to clutch her pearls and scolded Gigi, telling her to wash her mouth out with soap, but Gigi couldn’t help but notice the tiniest blush that had appeared on her cheeks, and the way her eyes had widened for just a second.

Adorable.

“So, uh, who were you eating dinner with? Is that your family?” Crystal asked, looking for a way to change the subject.

“Sadly, yes,” Gigi said with a roll of her eyes.

“Which ones are your parents?”

“All of them.”

“Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t -”

“It’s okay,” Gigi said with a small chuckle. “Technically only three of them are, because my mom hasn’t married her boyfriend. Like she ever will,” Gigi laughed.

“Your dad owns this place, right?”

Gigi sighed. “Uh-huh,” she said, her voice monotonous.

“Which one is your dad?” Crystal asked, peering her head around the corner to glance at her table.

“The one in the grey blazer.” Gigi gestured towards him slightly, making sure they were still hidden from sight. “Why do you ask?”

“I don’t wanna get fired. I need to make sure no one throws a lemonade in his face on my behalf.”

Gigi burst out laughing at that, trying her best to keep her volume to a minimum but not doing a very good job. “Oh believe me, if I could throw a drink in his face, I would.”

Crystal grinned back at her, and Gigi noticed the perfect dimples in each of her cheeks, which somehow made her even more adorable. She found herself drawn to her chocolate eyes, gazing at the twinkle behind her pupils and her long eyelashes that framed them, like they were priceless works of art, which, of course, they were.

They fell into a comfortable silence, and in any other situation, Gigi would’ve made a move. She was never one to wait patiently for the right moment - she was someone that always knew what she wanted, and right now, she wanted nothing more than to cup Crystal’s cheeks and plant a kiss on her lips.

But, she had to remind herself that she was in the middle of a country club, where anyone could see the two of them. And she had a reputation to uphold. She’d need to wait until they were somewhere more private.

Plus, she didn’t want to frighten Crystal. The girl already looked like she was in a constant state of panic as it was, and Gigi thought a kiss would probably tip her anxiety over the edge.

She also wasn’t positive that Crystal liked girls, either, but judging from her messy, curly bob of hair, dyed red, and her nails, short and painted with black nail polish, it seemed a likely possibility.

“I, uh, I should get back to work,” Crystal said, looking away awkwardly.

“Yeah, you probably should,” Gigi replied. Crystal flashed her a pitiful smile, as if to say sorry, that she didn’t want to cut their interaction short, and Gigi couldn’t help but wonder how this girl, this ordinary girl who technically worked for her dad, managed to make her heart flutter with just a simple smile.

But Gigi didn’t want to say goodbye just yet. Not unless she knew she’d see Crystal again soon.

“Hey, are you working again tomorrow?” she asked, an idea popping into her head.

“Yup. 10 hour shift.” Crystal replied, practically groaning.

Gigi smirked. “When’s your break? I need someone to play tennis with.”

Crystal looked taken aback at her proposition. “Uh, I think I have a break at 3ish -”

“Perfect. Then I’ll meet you on the west tennis courts at three,” Gigi smiled, certainty in her tone.

“Uh, cool! I should warn you though, I haven’t played tennis since summer camp when I was like thirteen,” Crystal giggled, looking a little nervous despite the smile plastered on her face.

Gigi raised her eyebrows. “Then I guess I’ll just have to show you the ropes again,” she said, fully aware of the confidence she exuded, and gave Crystal a sly wink, so small that if Crystal had broken eye contact for a second, she would’ve missed it. Judging by the flush of pink on her cheeks, though, she had definitely not missed it.

Crystal grinned. “I look forward to it,” she said with a nod, before slipping back around the corner and going back to her work.

Gigi waited a couple seconds after Crystal left before walking back to her table, making sure to not look too suspicious despite the smile tattooed on her face. When she sat back down again, she was met by the scowl of her father.

“What took you so long?” he grumbled.

“Girl things,” she replied without missing a beat, because she knew that it would shut him up. And, it wasn’t entirely untrue, either.

When she looked down at her plate, though, she discovered that her raspberry sorbet had melted, and was no more than a pink puddle.

Gigi didn’t mind at all.

#rpdr fanfiction #crygi #crystal methyd #gigi goode #trust fund gold tongue #peridot #lesbian au #fluff #angst #tw: homophobia #concrit welcome #summer lovin' 2020 #day 2: camp #submission

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ick25 · 4 years

Text

What I think about Inuyasha’s writing.

I used to be a huge Inuyasha fan because I watched it in my teen years (The Latin Spanish dub, not the English dub where I find their voices to be pretty annoying). I would stay awake until eleven o’ clock just to watch a new episode on Cartoon Network and sing along with the translated versions of the intros. My early submissions on Deviantart were fanarts of Inuyasha, I used to draw him like crazy, and the show is even one of my original comic’s main inspirations. So what happened?

I love Inuyasha’s character, but as I grew older, I started hating or not caring about the other characters of the show (Except for Sesshomaru, of course) and grew tired of the story because I felt it wasn’t going anywhere. Inuyasha has good writing, but the pacing and how sometimes you can’t really take it seriously ruins it for me.

I want to talk about this now since I just heard about the sequel that is gonna happen soon with Inuyasha’s Lina Inverse of a daughter and Sesshomaru’s very confused twin daughters, and I’m thinking to myself: “How is Rumiko gonna ruin this story even more”. Don’t get me wrong, the creator, Rumiko Takahashii, is a very talented manga artist and writer, and I respect her, at one point I even saw her as my heroine, but now I want to surpass her.

How can Inuyasha, a story about a half demon, who falls in love with the reincarnation of his ex-girlfriend who can travel through time whenever she feels like it, has a hot demon brother that tried to kill him several times, wields a powerful magical sword forged from the fang of his deceased yet very famous demon father who I want to know more about, a dead human mother who may or may not have been a princess... Where was I going with this? o_o

As an aspiring storyteller/ animator, I want to talk about the problems with Inuyasha’s story, the things I love about it, as well as the bad things in it, and see why Inuyasha isn’t the writing masterpiece everyone likes to believe it is. And by the end, talking about what I would do to improve the story.

This is how I analyze Inuyasha. I never read the manga, so I’m gonna focus on the anime.

1. Inuyasha is a romantic comedy?

Rumiko Takashii is a successful manga artist and considered “The queen of anime”, because her art Style and humor have inspired many of the anime cliches we know today such as the nose bleeds shots, the beach episodes with fan service, and good o’l scenes where the girl calls a boy a pervert before comically sending them flying. She is the creator of another famous work called Ranma 1/2, an anime I used to love as a kid, but now...

I studied how to draw and create mangas and I have learned how to make a good story. After returning to Ranma recently, I have figured out the problem with Inuyasha, Rumiko Takahashii’s style is repetitive. Rumiko is capable of writing a good plot and creating very good characters from time to time, but now many of her main characters feel very cliche. In her stories there is always gonna be a pervert, there is always gonna be a bad parent, a rivalry, crazy and or exaggerated situations, goofy looking characters, wise old men or women, beautiful female characters, Japanese or Chinese folklore, fighting, but most importantly, a girl with a love/hate relationship with a dumb, rowdy tsundere boy, where they argue so much that the girl ends up physically abusing the boy and the show passes it for something funny; and those are the ingredients for making a Rumiko Takahashii styled manga/anime.

Rumiko’s forte is in Romantic comedy, sometimes mixing different genres makes a story good and very realistic... If done right, which brings me to my next point.

2. Time travel just for fun.

What is Inuyasha about? It is about a half-demon teenage boy that has to partner with a teenage girl from the modern times, who accidentally travels through time via a magical well that has been in her family’s shinto shrine for generations, to find the shards of a powerful magical jewel that said girl accidentally shatters and scatters all over feudal Japan. This idea alone makes it a very interesting series, either for a book or a TV show.

What went wrong then? I believe the problem started around the third episode were it was shown that Kagome can easily go back to the present, have dinner with her family, take a bath, gather provisions, and even take her god damn bike with her to the past every time she wants without caring about creating a time paradox.

This is played for laughs because of the romantic comedy element, but if you do this in an show with action, deaths, and evil spirits wanting to take over the world, then that fact alone makes the entire story lose credibility, I mean, what is stopping Naraku or any other demon from finding a way to travel to the future through the well to take over a world where demons and magical powers are basically extinct? The fact that only Kagome AND Inuyasha are the only ones who can go through the well? How convenient!

If the time travel well was taken more seriously it could’ve lead to a much more interesting story, but apparently nobody cares about time travel and the effects it could have in the history of Japan. I think there were two instances that I recall from the anime (Before Inuyasha Second Act, because I already stopped caring about the show when it came out) where time travel was or could’ve been relevant; the episode about the man eating mask that had a Shikon shard for hundreds of years, and the second movie of Inuyasha where the whole group was immune to a time stopping spell because Kagome’s medical kit and necklace from the future created some kind of time barrier around them.

And nobody cared about any of those things afterwards! Not the fact that there could’ve been one extra shard, or that Naraku was present during the time barrier incident and never wondered about it. Both the episode and movie scene were just ways to have Inuyasha being the only one who can come to Kagome’s rescue because their love is the main focus. Speaking of love...

3. Frustrating love drama.

Part of Inuyasha’s tsundere personality comes from the fact that he had his heart broken by everyone’s favorite b***, Kikyo.

Kikyo was the young priestess who sealed Inuyasha in a tree for 50 years, at first it looked like the typical holy person trying to protect her village from a dangerous demon, but in reality, she was in a relationship with him and thought that Inuyasha tricked her so he could steal the Shikon jewel from her. This was because everyone’s favorite a**h*** , Naraku, shape-shifted into both of them to trick them into killing each other.

It’s easy to blame Naraku for this, but that actually shows how they didn’t really “love” each other because of how quickly they turned against the other.

I take this as a cautionary tale for first love. Inuyasha was just infatuated with Kikyo because of her beauty and kindness towards him, and when someone falls in love for the first time they don’t think straight, they don’t know what a real relationship entails, and not knowing that is exactly what happened to these two.

There was a special episode in the anime where we see how Inuyasha and Kikyo met and fell in love, in it we get a scene where Kikyo told Inuyasha that she was gonna give him a gift, which was gonna be the subduing necklace that Kagome tends to abuse a lot, however, Inuyasha decided to give her a gift as well, his mother’s lip balm she left him after dying. A very sweet gesture, right? How does Kikyo react to this?

That’s not a look of love, that’s a look of pity. RECIPROCATE, WOMAN! HE OPENED HIS HEART TO YOU AND YOU JUST FEEL SORRY FOR HIM?!

She does end up changing her mind about the subduing charm, but before this, she didn’t saw him as a person, and she was considered a saint by everyone in the village, but I guess that feeding the poor, nursing people, and playing with children is alright as long as they are humans, that’s almost racist. I hate Shippo, but I bet she wouldn’t be so caring about him or his dad if she saw them.

Kikyo absolutely sucks as a romantic partner! She doesn’t express anything, she doesn’t talk about her feelings, she doesn’t show any emotion apart from anger and slight contentment, and based on what we saw after Naraku set them up, I believe she never told him ANYTHING about herself. Unlike Kagome who he got to know very well as a person, Inuyasha didn’t even questioned her motives for attacking him, he automatically assumed that she manipulated him the whole time, and ran to the village to get the Shikon Jewel.

Rumiko wanted to make Kikyo more relatable so we could feel sorry for her and pass Naraku as an evil monster who destroyed what could’ve been a beautiful relationship, by having Kikyo wanting to live life as a normal girl, but can’t because she is the only one who can keep the Shikon jewel from being corrupted, and ultimately falling in love with Inuyasha because he saw her as a normal person (Unlike her with him). Well, it didn’t work, at least not for me.

I did feel sympathy for Kikyo... When she was alive! The series had a witch bring her back to life in a body made out of clay and using part of Kagome’s soul because she is the reincarnation of Kikyo. Why do this? To create drama by adding a love triangle into this romantic comedy of a show.

Feels like Rumiko doesn’t understand how reincarnation works because I think Kagome would’ve died during that ritual, and I really doubt Kikyo would’ve become such a B just out of jealousy; she wanted to take Inuyasha to hell with her, and he was not even dead yet! If this Kikyo really loved him, she would’ve let him go on with his life instead of roaming Japan feeling sorry for herself, taking advantage of a situation to keep Kagome away from Inuyasha, and barely doing anything to stop Naraku which was supposed to be her main goal. All of this made Kikyo unlikable instead of a relatable character trying to fix her past mistakes before going back to the grave.

4. Inuyasha’s background.

Something I absolutely love from Inuyasha’s story is the fact that it is set during a historical time period in Japan but with magical elements incorporated since many of the Japanese myths and folklore originated during those dark times. I love the fact that since everything was so dark back then, people would often see things that weren’t really there and made up stories to explain certain phenomena or just to keep children from misbehaving.

Inuyasha is full of Japanese folktales and magical creatures, and it clearly took inspiration from “Journey to the west”, a classic Chinese novel that’s one of the best adventure/ fantasy stories of all time, and that’s also been the main inspiration for many mangas and animes; it’s one of my favorites too.

Inuyasha’s background is one of the most interesting ones I’ve ever seen, it’s something common in fairy tales and myths where a human falls in love with a being from a magical race, like fairies, mermaids, gods, or in Asian folklore’s case, spirits or demons. In Inuyasha’s case, his mother was a human named Izayoi who fell in love with a powerful dog demon named Toga who was known as Inu no taisho (Dog general), animal spirits or demons can take human form, and the dog spirits are very common in Japanese folklore.

The third movie of Inuyasha shows us what Toga looked like before and how he died, and I’m actually more interested in how Inuyasha’s parents met more than his love triangle drama. In fact, Toga’s story sounds much more interesting because he was built up as this great demon lord who fought countless enemies, he was a gigantic dog monster that stopped a demon invasion from China, he could destroy multiple armies with one swing of a sword he forged from one of his fangs, he had disciples and loyal subjects, but he ultimately lost his status, he let his reputation be destroyed because he fell in love with a woman from a race that was considered inferior, and had a half demon child with her.

One of Inuyasha’s motivation’s (the main one being killing Naraku) is proving that he is stronger than his father who was a full demon, while Inuyasha himself is considered a weak half human who is unworthy of the tittle of being a descendant of Inu no taisho. Every time Inuyasha hears about a demon that his father couldn’t defeat in the past, he gets excited because, with the powerful sword his dad left him, he now has a chance to prove to everyone that he is not weak and that he is stronger than his father was.

Inuyasha never met his father because Toga died the very day he was born, so he was raised by his mother who died when he was still a child. His older brother, Sesshomaru, is a full demon that never really forgave his father for throwing his reputation away because of a human woman, and leaving him a magical sword that can also resurrect the dead instead of the one that can destroy numerous souls in one blow.

I’m not really sure, but I think the Sesshomaru from the beginning of the third movie looked like he was around Inuyasha’s age when Toga died.

Before:

After:

I like to think that’s the case.

Inuyasha’s background alone can hold up the entire series, as well as his tense relationship with his only living relative, however, the main focus is something else, something that I personally find very repetitive, boring, and even lame.

5. Is Naraku really worth it?

Note that I am not defending Naraku, he is unlikable, mainly because of all the bad things he’s done to the main characters, but the truth is that I don’t really hate him as much as I should, granted, he is a manipulative b*st**d and I don’t like him, but he is just evil for the sake of being evil in the story. If anything, I see him as pathetic.

Let’s see his main crimes: He cursed Miroku’s family, for some reason, killed Sango’s entire family by using her inexperience demon slayer little brother as a puppet, he basically conned Sesshomaru in hopes of killing Inuyasha, but most importantly, he is the reason Inuyasha and Kikyo broke up! :0

To me, Naraku is just a coward that likes to manipulate others for his own personal gain, he was born from a bandit named Onigumo who was burned in a fire after betraying the leader of his group of thieves so he could take his place, and allowed his bodied to be consumed by demons in order to get... Kikyo! The gross part is that Kikyo was like 15 at the time while he could easily be in his 20′s or 30′s. Kikyo, being a “saint”, found Onigumo’s burned body and nursed him in a cave, this ultimately made the bandit fall in love with her and allowed his body to be devoured by evil spirits in exchange for power, he was then reborn as Naraku who is basically a half demon like Inuyasha.

I heard that the manga didn’t really mentioned Naraku’s past life, but I think that’s for the best. Naraku became Inuyasha’s group’s ( and other characters’s) main target, but every single time they find him and think they got him cornered, he manages to escape in some way because of how much of a coward he really is. Because this happens over and over and over and over again in every season, it get’s tiresome and frustrating, to the point where I even ask myself: “Is this MF even worth it?!” Anyone would’ve just given up a long time ago. I liked it when they focused on fighting other demons and enemies with different motives, but after a while it was just Naraku, Naraku, Naraku!

At some point I even forgot what started this adventure in the first place, the Shikon Jewel shards that were accidentally shattered and scattered through out Japan! One shard alone can power up a demon, this idea alone makes it an interesting story, collect the shards before Japan is destroyed by overpowered demons and evil spirits, but no, turns out Naraku is collecting the shards too to the point that he already has a nearly complete jewel, well, that saves a lot of time!

I know, killing Naraku will get rid of Miroku’s wind tunnel curse, free Sango’s undead brother from his control, and Sesshomaru and other demons wanting revenge because he tried to use them, but what’s really Inuyasha’s beef with Naraku? Is he just mad because Naraku showed him just how totally incompatible he was with Kikyo? That’s what pisses me the most, to be honest.

As for Kagome, she definitely has no reason to be there, Naraku is the main antagonist and yet, he is kinda indifferent to Kagome. I don’t remember seeing Naraku doing anything bad to her or her family living in modern times that can be accessed through a magical well where he could easily... You know what? I’m done here.

Conclusion.

Inuyasha’s story has so much potential and yet it doesn’t take itself too serious. As I mentioned before, Inuyasha is treated more as a romantic comedy than a fantastical adventure kind of story. there is so much dept to the world building, but when focusing only on Inuyasha and Kagome falling in love, nothing else seem to matter. This could’ve worked if it had better writing. A simple or silly premise for a story can work if it has clever writing, something that Inuyasha really needed at times.

I liked to be surprised with clever writing in movies and shows, but if it was up to me, I’d definitely change a few things.

1. If you want a serious story, make Kagome be stuck in feudal Japan until the shards of the Shikon Jewel are recovered, or if this has to stay, don’t make the the stakes in the adventure so dire, either its a fantastical journey with two teenagers falling in love as the main focus, or a very serious adventure where their love is the only thing that can save the day.

2. Make Inuyasha and kikyo just friends, the love drama is unnecessary, specially since kikyo has almost no personality what so ever, unless you re-write her entire character. Or make Inuyasha fall in love with Kikyo, but Kikyo doesn’t feel the same and just sees him as a good friend, that at least would create some drama instead of the jealous ex-girlfriend that wants to kill everyone because she lost her chance in life.

3. Get rid of Naraku, the ultimate villain troupe gets tired very quickly, specially in a very long show that takes like 8 seasons to end. Or at least write him better and not turn the show into an endless chase for just one guy, specially since the main goal is to collect the shards of the Shikon jewel to destroy it once and for all.

This is just my opinion of course, and if you like the show just the way it is, then that’s alright, but seeing things you like with a critical eye, makes you appreciate them even more.

#Inuyasha #anime #my review #ick25

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schoolastica · 4 years

Text

Writer in the dark

Starker AU. Based on the song by Lorde. Also in my AO3 profile, as ilikesadstories.

Break the news, you’re walking out

To be the good man to someone else

His bags are by the Penthouse door. Tony has a lump on his throat and a Tablet in his hands showing the headlines:” Stark and Parker are officially done!!!.”

Peter has a lump in his throat and the Penthouse keys in his hands. He already said goodbye to Edith, Tony’s dalmatian, and he cleared the place of anything that belonged to him. No reason to stretch the pain more than it needs to. Tony’s back is turned on him.

He wants to scream, to command Tony to the acknowledgment that he's leaving. He does no such thing. Tony only starts to cry when he hears the elevator doors closing. That’s it; that’s three years of relationship on a ride to the lobby. Tony suppose they have been rotten for a long time, they just didn’t want to let it go, not just yet. But it happened. After three years, 2 cop-related problems, 4 major fights, 1 photo of Tony cheating.

They hanged more than most people would.

Sorry, I was never good like you.

Tony Stark wasn’t a good man. Not good like Rhodes was, or good like Steve was, not nearly as a good man as Peter Parker was. He was rotten through and through, too old, too spoiled. He was a writer, he made his fortune written the sci-fi book series called “Avengers” when he was 15 and bored. All of the characters were based on his friends at the time, friends that didn’t even keep contact with him now. But he made money, real money. Enough to start his publisher, the Stark Royal Seal, worth billions, now that he was at his 50’s.It seemed like an eon ago when he was young and excited about being famous.

That was a time, right at the beginning, that Tony loved press, every tabloid about him, good or bad, was a prize. He was 15, inexperienced and easily lead on. By his 20, he was a world-wide playboy, he never stopped being. Now, a much older man, he had written 20 novels, 15 for the Avengers series(and he's not going back to writing it, Steve deserves a rest) and 5 romances, 3 of them were a critic failure.

Now he gets to live in his big, brand new Penthouse in the middle of Manhattan, all alone; because the love of his life is going down the elevator to never come back. As he lays down, crying in the fetal position, feeling a pain he only ever felt when his parents died, he thinks he will write a novel about hurt the next morning.

Bet you rue the day you kissed a writer in the dark

Their first meeting was a thing from the movies. Tony Stark, the acclaimed writer, the same man that was in a sex-tape leaked last week at the same time to have a billion contract with Netflix to produce the film adaptations of his book series, had to make a commemorative reading of the 30th year of the release of Avengers: The year of the fallen.This event was the most waited for in his whole schedule, Pepper had been talking about it, how he should be dressed and how he should behave since January.

The reading would be more symbolic than anything, it would take place in the first bookstore Tony ever did the first reading, Schmidt & Cia Bookstore. It only fits about 300 hundred people there, so the tickets at 500$ each were sold out in 40 minutes and about 10 of them were donated to raffle to the NY Writing course students. When the day came, Tony drank so much in anxiety that Pepper almost had a fit. She arrived at the Penthouse, threw the last of his expensive scotch in the sink and practically made him look presentable. Pepper had been with him since he was 18, they had a brief romance in the ’90s but now, seeing at how they behaved, it made sense to broke up, she was more of a mother to him than anything.

So here they were, once again at the front of Schmidt & Cia Bookstore. The building was still intact, even after years, all its colors and its old sign at the front of the window. The major difference was that now, at least a thousand of hallucinated fans were surrounding it, all screaming when his car, drove by Happy, approached. When he got out, the did the usual: smiled to everyone, old or young, talked to some reports and flirted around. He only wanted to come out of the little room they had prepared for him when the time of the reading came. When that happened, he lifted himself a little podium to speak and looked around the little crown that gathered around him.

Some faces there surprised him, they were middle-aged men, by the end of the room, witch Tony knew were powerful. All of them looking eagerly for his words. The ones closer to the podium were pretty, extremely young. His gaze wandered in each of their faces, landing on the prettiest boy he ever laid eyes upon. Curly, brown hair, smooth and fair skin(probably never touched) and a Cherubin's face. His brown eyes were sparkling while he held a hold, absolutely worn down a copy of his book, close to his heart. He was probably from the NY Writing course.

It seems like a foolish thing now, how Tony took one good look at that open and fresh face and got his strength from there. But he did. He smiled at the cameras pointed at him and said: “I want to start this reading by saying that a lot has changed since the first time I did this. People came and people left, but throughout all of this, I always had this crew” he lifted the heavy book as in indicating what he was saying,” to help me”. And with that, he began the reading. The first chapter was pretty much introductory, Captain America was aboard the spaceship J.A.R.V.I.S in search of his long lost crew that was lost in their last mission. The chapter had about 4 pages of text, and while reading it, Tony couldn't stop thinking how his first draft wasn't much different than this, and how his writing style had changed since he was 15.

When the chapter was over, everyone stood to give him a minute of applause and all of the journalists present shouted questions about him, about his legacy. He tried to ignore it because now it was time for him to give his autographs.Pepper and their team set up a little table, in front of a wall full of posters from the books, where Tony would sit and sign everything that 300 people wanted him too. He had his special pen for this, alongside with a bucket full of ice for his tired hands and a sly smile and soothing words for everyone. Tony had probably given his signature to about 100 people when he received the old and worn down first edition of his book.

Surprised, he looked up to see that beautiful and shy boy fixing his glasses while looking at him, blushing. If Tony was a good man, an honorable man, he would have smiled and signed the book without a word, being polite but not curious about this youngster in front of him. But he was a nasty, nasty man. He smiled his sweet smile, the one he knew made people’s knees buckle and said:” You must be quite a nerd to spend this kind of money in a first edition, Mr……?’ he fished for a name. “Oh’ the boy seemed surprised that Tony recognized the book “This was a gift, actually,” The boy said.

Tony kept looking at him, for a more elaborate story.“My dad bought it when it first came out’ the boy’s voice was soft and open as his face was “He gave it to me one month before he died. That's why I want you to dedicate it to ‘Richard and Peter Parker” if that's not a bother’ he said, his voice disappearing through the sentence. Tony analyzed him, smiled broader, and wrote: To Richard and Peter Parker, always in each other's hearts. He got the book back to its owner and said:” What are you doing after this?”.

Bet you rue the day you kissed a writer in the dark

They meet that same night, in a new restaurant called Francesco's Dark Dinner. The whole thing was a weird concept, a place where you had to use all your senses minus the sight, and it a young, youthful place. Tony suggested an old, well-known restaurant, with fine culinary but Peter had said that it was a place with great Italian food. He arrived earlier and waited for his partner to arrive while listening to the conversation around him.

When Peter arrived, he couldn't see how he was dressed or if he had a good day, the only thing he was glad he could do was smell a sweet, strawberry scent that he basked in. Their conversation was fluid, vivid, along with truly great food (Tony was really satisfied with his dishes) and Peter was, in no short of words, a true genius. He was in the NY Writing program and he was older than what he looked like, he was 20 years old. He was an only child, like Tony, who lost his parents at a young age, like Tony, but he never drank or took anything, unlike Tony. He almost didn't get a place at today's reading, his name was the last call, and he had cried of happiness when he got it. He was extremely polite and his voice stutters every time Tony brushed their hands together.

He was a prey ready and ripe for the taking.

When they kissed, Peter tasted like youth.

Stood on my chest and kept me down

Hated hearing my name on the lips of a crowd

Did my best to exist just for you

They had been great, really good for each other in the first year. Tony decided to be the best version of himself, he was punctual and caring. He introduced Peter to Pepper, Rhodes, and Happy as his boyfriend and he demanded respect. They pretended to dislike the boy at the beginning, saying he was too young and naive, but Tony saw Pepper’s hidden smirks, Rhodes open laughs at Peter’s stupid space jokes and saw how protective Happy became of him.

Peter's friends were a completely different story. MJ was a force to fight with, she looked at Tony as if he had killed Santa Claus with his bare hands. Ned was a funny goofy person, saw no evil in no one. Tony took them to Conney Island and they hang around the pier till sunset. During all this time, Ned would’ve shut up and MJ said about 3 words. It didn’t matter though, because Peter had smiled so wide all the time and when they went back to Tony’s place, he rode Tony’s cock like a champion.

Sex with Peter was a whole different experience. Either if they fucked quick and dirty or slow and passionate, it always made Tony shine with joy afterward. When he was younger, Tony had the habit of smoking a cigarette after a good fuck, but that ended when he quit smoking. Now, after leaving Peter sleeping in his bed, he develops the habit of writing. He starts writing and does it through the night. At the beginning, it’s just some short stories or he just describes what he just did with Peter(in very raw, crude words) but as the months are passing, it starts to form a romance novel. It’s about two man, not quite right for each other and every time Tony needs inspiration, he looks over at Peter, peaceful sleeping, his back shining with the sweat of their past activity and he has all the words he needs.

Peter was on the edge of finishing his degree and had an internship with the Osborn publishing, Tony offered him a place at his own company, Peter said no. He wats to grow alone, working in newspapers and them to release his own novel someday. Peter really wants to write a romance, but he secretly enjoys writing children’s books, actually. It really tells a lot about his personality. They are really into each other in their first year. Peter graduates and Tony is there with beautiful aunt May and Peter’s friends to celebrate. They go on summer vacation in Tony’s village in Italy and they make love under the stars there. When New Year’s Eve arrives, their picture was featured in all the major gossip magazines and Peter goes to Tony’s annual party.

When the watch hits 0, they kiss so deeply that Tony can taste Peter’s soul. Now she's gonna play and sing and lock you in her heart7 months after their break up, Tony is releasing his first book since having crushed his heart. ‘Resorsfullness’ its called. Its a tragedy, it was developed from that first romance novel Tony had begun to write during the first year with Peter. After they broke up, his writing became bitter and it slowly morphed into an epic love tragedy.

Pepper said it was the best works he ever did, she organized a huge US Tour and the marketing is heavy on this one. He drinks his weight and cries himself to sleep every night, but his life is still together. He still googles Peter’s name weekly and finds out that he’s releasing a second children’s book next fall. He pretends to be fine when he’s around his friends, but the only person he cant pretend to is Pepper. She sees right through all his bullshit, she invades his penthouse one day and pours his drinks in the sink and clean his kitchen. She screams at him when he wakes up and almost cries when Tony starts crying. She holds him through it all and just loves him for all he is.

I am my mother's child, I'll love you 'til my breathing stops

I'll love you 'til you call the cops on me

The first time the cops are called for them, they are dating for 19 months and they are getting tired. Tony drinks a lot, everyone knows that. Peter knows that, but he doesn’t like it. So they go to one gathering party of The Daily Budge, the newspaper Peter is working for. Tony always thought J.J. Jameson was funny, but the guy used Peter like he was a slave and pissed him off. To add up, Peters coworker, Quentin Beck, was a little shit.Peter never hid from anyone in his relationship, so Beck knew who he was seeing. Still, the guy would hit on Peter heavily and whenever he talked to Tony, he implied how old Tony was, how Peter was probably unsatisfied and that he was useless. Tony punched him, Peter screamed at Tony and they left the party in a huge arguing.

Tony gave Happy the day off so they decided to walk to and from the party, so they went the whole way to their home. At some point, they screamed so much that a passing by called the cops. It wasn’t pretty, they were on the next day’s highest searched subject on google.

The second time the cops were involved was when Tony was banging on Peter’s door at three am, begging for forgiveness, 2 weeks before they split.

But in our darkest hours, I stumbled on a secret power

I'll find a way to be without you baby

Tony’s strength cames back to him together with his words. Pepper clean his house sets him up straight and takes him to long walks in Central Park with Edith. Tony promise to stop drinking for once, he joins an AA and Rhodes and Happy take turns taking him there. Edith is the best pal he ever had, loves him and makes him do exercises every day.

The ache in his chest slowly fades, still there, but not so latent anymore. The first work he does, besides the hurt book that Pepper makes it be a success, is poems. He never wrote poems before, but the words bleed from him every sunrise and every sunset. He’s sitting in a Central Park bench, throwing a ball to Edith, that runs excited around the park, when he watches a small family picknick. He sees how the father acts with his 2 children, and watches how they sit eagerly to read ‘Polka dot dog’ by Peter Parker when the first seed of his idea is planted on the back of his mind.

He spends the next month searching about kids and by the end, he meets with Pepper to discuss having children. Tony knows she always wanted to be a mom, never found someone quite right, but when he brings that up she just laughs at him. ‘You can’t be serious, you don’t even look after yourself” she tells him. He promise he changed, that he’s ready, but it still takes her 2 months to come around the idea.They visited a Fertility clinic right after that.

They weren’t good for each other romantically, but they are the best of the friends and the doctor says they have a good chance to conceive. 16 months after they broke up, Pepper is confirmed to be pregnant, and Tony’s heart hurt is almost healed.

I still feel you, now and then

Slow like pseudo-ephedrine

When you see me, will you say I've changed?

I ride the subway, read the signs

I let the seasons change my mind

I love it here since I've stopped needing you

Peter was, without better words to put it, Tony’s first love. He had loved that boy as much as he could, as hard as he could, but it hadn’t been enough. He experienced his first true heartbreak late in life, but now he feels it all was worth it. His daughter, Morgan, was his true love, he knew that.

She was 5 years old and she was perfect. Tony hadn’t touched a bottle of alcohol for almost 6 years now, Pepper was so proud of that. Pepper was his best friend, she was his rock of moral rightness. They lived separated, but they were 5 minutes away from each other, Morgan was starting to walk between the houses all by herself. The last book Tony published was called ‘Parenthood and all the things I didn’t know how to do’ and it was his first attempt at poems, all about parenting. It was a huge success. But Morgan didn’t like his writing. She loves small, funny little children’s books and her favorite book was Mrs.Penguin by Peter Parker. His heart stopped every time she asked him that book as a goodnight story.

On his Sunday with her, Pepper looked apologetic to him and said she had promised to take her to a reading of the newest book Peter was going to publish but she had a party to go. He feels bile rising in his throat but he smiles and takes Morgan to see her first favorite author. The bookstore the reading is happening is small but childlike and Morgan looks amazed.

The book is named ‘The sunflower and the frog’ and when Peter shows up to do the reading, he looks straight at Tony and smiles. Morgan is not exactly a secret, Tony and Pepper are constantly at the news, and when its time for autographs, Tony had to wait in line for 50 minutes till Morgan got her chance. Peter looks dashing, 29 years old and beaming with health and fashion. He now looks more like a man than he did before, so pretty that Tony aches. Peter gives Morgan a big smile and asks if she likes his books. The girl is absolutely besotted by the young author, opening up like a little flower and Tony can’t help thinking that Starks always falls for Parkers. Peter gives her full attention and only looks at Tony when he’s signing the book.

He says, looking at Tony’s eyes: “I’m writing: To my dear Morgan, the happiest girl I’ve known’ and when he delivers the book back to Morgan he looks at Tony and says: What are you doing after this?

#starker #breakup #angst #hurt #songfic #starkerau

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mautadite · 4 years

Text

april book round up

20 books this month, which i didn’t see coming. i had more free time than expected, even with working from home and *makes vague hand gestures*. i still have a scribd membership so almost all these books came from there. also i’m putting some thought into reviewing on netgalley, so a couple from there as well.

american fairy tale - adriana herrera ⭐️⭐️⭐️ contemporary m/m romance in herrera’s dreamers series that follows immigrants and children of immigrants. this second book was fun, a kind of fairy tale romance as the title suggests. a rich guy/poor guy situation which isn’t usually my cup of tea, and the domineering, throw-money-at-every-situation personality of the rich guy got on my nerves, and i wasn’t totally sold on the way the conflict was resolved? but i enjoyed it. herrera’s books just have this down to earth vibe that i love.

unfit to print - k.j. charles ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ historical m/m romance. vikram, a young lawyer doing a lot of pro-bono work in the indian community in london, lost touch with his childhood friend gil years and years ago, is pretty sure he’s dead. so imagine his surprise when he comes across him in an unlikely occupation in an unlikely place. this was a charming, touching novella, really interesting historically, with a lot of cool titbits about porn in the 19th century. very sweet romance-wise.

american love story - adriana herrera ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ another dreamers novel, this one about a black professor and political activist and a white ADA who had a fling a while back and are now living in the same town. and same apartment building. lol. it did get into real world politics, which i know some people don’t like, but i honestly thought it well done? there were some great bits in this, good insight, one really harrowing moment, and just really great chemistry and character moments.

wanted, a gentleman - k.j. charles ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ more historical m/m romance from k.j. charles, which i always like, but this one i REALLY liked. which surprised me, because it’s a novella, and with novellas you never spend enough time with characters to really know them and their story and get attached? but that’s exactly what happened here. a well-to-do ex-slave and a poor gazette owner team up to untangle a young love affair. i seriously loved this, the characters are so good together. T__T

far from the world we know - harper bliss ⭐️⭐️ contemporary f/f romance about a young widow with a traumatic past who moves to a tiny new town to take care of her ailing aunt, and slowly falls into a relationship with the owner of the local newspaper. the premise was good, but this honestly felt like every single harper bliss book i’ve ever read, except it had nothing to recommend it. ask me why these characters even like each other. i can’t answer!

the hound of justice - claire o'dell ⭐️⭐️ the second book in a series that re-imagines the sherlock holmes universe, except as near-future scifi set during a civil war, and both holmes and watson are black lesbians. i LOVED the first book (with a few caveats) and i’ve been looking forward to this one for so long... but it was disappointing. in terms of the writing, in terms of the direction the characters took, in terms of the plot... i have to wonder if i read the first one with rose-tinted glasses. :/ won’t be continuing this series.

the vintner's luck - elizabeth knox ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ *CLUTCHES MY CHEST WITH BOTH HANDS* in my goodreads review i said i didn’t know how to talk about this novel, and i still don’t. but i ADORED IT. so completely. in early 19th century france, the young son of a winegrower climbs a hill on his father’s property, and there, meets an angel. this is the story of them falling in love, but also about family and friendship, love and death. it’s written SO beautifully, and i’ll be thinking about it for a long time.

the family fang - kevin wilson ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ OOOF. i went into this knowing that several friends loved it so i knew i probably was gonna too and i DID. it’s about two siblings whose parents have been obsessed (since before the birth of their children, and until the present day where they’re both grown) with the idea of creating perfect art, and how the kids survive that. i actually didn’t enjoy reading many parts of this, but only because it was so well written, if that makes sense? like, it took me right in there with some of the shitty emotions and just made me feel. OOOF.

mrs. martin's incomparable adventure - courtney milan ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a VERY sweet and charming historical f/f romance between a wealthy 74-yo widow and the cute young 69 (nice) yo landlady who comes to ask for her help. and then they have an adventure! i read it at a great time, because i was beginning to feel really bummed out about how people are trivialising and discounting the lives of older people in this crisis, and there was a really great message of like... life not being over until you SAY it’s over, living like you have 20 more years left. i loved it a lot.

his convenient husband - robin covington ⭐️⭐️ m/m contemporary fake marriage story, about a russian ballet dancer and the widowed american football player he marries to get citizenship. and then they fall in love for realsies. i love fake marriage as a trope, it can be so cute but this was very meh. if a book is gonna handle racism/homophobia in such a shallow way... i’d honestly prefer if the book just pretended those things don’t exist lol. :/ it’s also very very rushed and not well plotted at all. alas.

once ghosted, twice shy - alyssa cole ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ alyssa cole is like my good luck charm, because starting here, i read a bunch of lesbian romance novels that i really liked. this one is part of a series about reluctant royals, and follows the dapper assistant to a prince as she falls for a girl who seemingly ghosts her, and then meets her again months later. it’s a novella, and sort of relies on the fact that you would have met one of the characters in a previous book (which i did read). but i really really liked it, thought it was super cute, and the mcs had great chemistry. it was almost insta-love, which i really don’t like... but i still like this book so much. also best cover?? BEST COVER.

who'd have thought - g. benson ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ now THIS is fake marriage done right!!! f/f contemporary romance about a struggling nurse who comes across an ad offering a chunk of money in exchange for one year of marriage... and the person on the offering end turns out to be the cold, stuck-up but brilliant doctor at the hospital where she works. this was the perfect slow burn, with great character writing, really good set-up, very believable arc as they slowly fall in love. it got me so emotional at times. definitely gonna make sure i read more from this author.

three reasons to say yes - jaime clevenger ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ f/f contemporary about two women who strike up a romance while on vacation in hawaii; one an overworked professional, one a doctor-mom of twin girls. another winner for me. just an extremely cute, very genuine butch/femme romance. it’s funny because i definitely nitpicked on a lot of things in this book, but i only remember the parts of if that made me so fond.

we set the dark on fire - tehlor kay meija ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ f/f YA fantasy in a world deeply divided by class. in the upper echelons of society, girls are trained either to become one of the two wives of upper class men; the primera and the segunda. the story follows a girl who has faked her social class becoming the primera of a very powerful man, getting involved with revolutionaries, and developing a surprising relationship with her husband’s segunda. really interesting world-building, some lovely writing, a really heart-felt core. i had my nitpicks with the plot but i still super enjoyed it, really want to read the second part.

a tale of two mommies - vanita oelschlager ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ netgalley book. a cute children’s story about a kid with two moms. <3

crier's war - nina varela ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ more f/f fantasy YA, this one with the added benefit of being about something that i ADORE reading about in fiction: artificial life. in this fantasy world, automae were created, perfected, became aware of their place in society, fought a war for their autonomy... and won. the story opens up 50 years later, in a society ruled by robots, where humans are subjugated. it follows the current robot ruler’s created daughter and a young human rebel whose one goal is to kill said daughter. i loved this SO much, the enemies to lovers trope was peeeerfect. i wish the writing was tighter, and some plot elements could have used cleaning up, but i enjoyed this so much. the ROMANCE especially was... gah! <3 the second book comes out soon, but i want it like, now.

second dad summer - benjamin klas ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ another netgalley book. a fun and charming primary/middle school story about a kid spending the summer with his father, and his father’s new boyfriend, who he doesn’t quite get along with. over the summer he makes new friends, nurtures some plants, learns some lessons. i thought this was well-written, touching, and does a pretty good job of telling kids about queer stuff.

tempting fate - sloane kennedy ⭐️⭐️ contemporary m/m novella (short story honestly) about two ranch hands realising their feelings for one another. it was fine, i read it because i was in the mood for a quick HEA and i got that, but it was also kinda flat and there were several kinda irksome things about it. i reeeeeally don’t like overly possessive characters, lol.

all the reasons i need - jaime clevenger ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ more contemporary f/f romance, this one about long time friends who have been in love for ages, slowly coming to a place where they can finally admit their feelings and try to embark upon a relationship. again, while on vacation! this was a lot more sombre than the previous clevenger book, as it deals with past abuse and eating disorders. but i also found the writing to be better in general, and the relationship between the two women was just... so great. the writing definitely isn’t pulitzer prize-winning or anything, but there are so few good butch/femme books out there, i ate this up, and will def. be reading more from this author.

interpreter of maladies - jhumpa lahiri ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ speaking of pulitzer prize-winning authors... i’ve had this author and this book specifically at the back of my mind since secondary school; one of my literature teachers really loved it and would bring it up all the time. i really enjoyed it! it’s a collection of stories about the indian diaspora in america, as well as life on the subcontinent. i really like her writing (very simple, very precise, but very evocative) and there were a few really striking stories.

and that’s it for april. look at me, actually writing this entry on time, lol. for may i’m just gonna... keep reading whatever catches my eye on scribd i guess. i remember vaguely saying that by this time of the year i would have moved on to reading the books on my physical bookshelf that i haven’t gotten to yet but... i go where the wind takes me etc. currently reading silver moon, about women who turn into werewolves once they hit menopause? absolutely metal.

#book talk #long post

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bipolarwitchcraft · 5 years

Note

Awnser all the questions of the post you recently reblogged.

Yeet 1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?-water bottles. I like metal ones. 2. chocolate bars or lollipops?-lollipops3. bubblegum or cotton candy?-cotton candy4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?-a pleasure to have in class and a creative writer. I wrote a lot of stories and was told by a few teachers I could be a published author when I got older. I hope they’re right. 5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?-cans the easiest 6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?-boho goth county would accurately describe me7. earbuds or headphones?-earbuds but not apple earbuds Bc they hurt8. movies or tv shows?-tv shows under 30 mins bc my attention span is 2 seconds (excluding the Orville and 911 bc those are amazing shows)9. favorite smell in the summer?-well water and main and tail shampoo10. game you were best at in p.e.?-volleyball. If I didn’t have to play 2 sports to be in athletics I would have played it in high school. 11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?-I don’t eat breakfast usually at school but when I work at camp I’ll usually have 2 eggo waffles and peanut butter maybe with a plum or something 12. name of your favorite playlist?-drive songs 13. lanyard or key ring?-key ring. I can’t stand having my keys on a lanyard 14. favorite non-chocolate candy?-Swedish fish 15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?-the secret life of bees and of mice and men. They are the only two I actually read all the way through and didn’t sparknotes lmaoo16. most comfortable position to sit in?-completely slouched in a chair with on leg crossed 17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?-my serape ariat cruisers or my berks 18. ideal weather?-70s to mid 80s with a nice breeze 19. sleeping position?-I’m a stomach sleeper lol but I usually try to fall asleep on my left side 20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?-note book. My favorite are the 5-star note books. College rule. One subject. 21. obsession from childhood?-dinosaurs and rocks. Still relevant today as a geology major22. role model?-don’t have role models. They always disappoint. Just be a decent person and do what you enjoy. 23. strange habits?-I rub the corners of blankets and pillows and such on and under my thumb nail. But only my right. I also poke my tongue out of my mouth a little when I’m riding. 24. favorite crystal?-I’m a sucker for amethyst. But quartz is also a favorite. I have natural quartz clusters all over my backyard at home. 25. first song you remember hearing?-besides like baby songs it was probably something my dad was listening to so I’m going to say Loser by Beck or Sweet Home Alabama bc those have been staples of my life. 26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?-ride and then immediately jump in the lake 27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?-read 28. five songs to describe you?-I don’t know enough about myself to know what describes me but my favorite songs rn are ‘99’ by Barnes Courtney, Colours by Grouplove, Pumped Up Kicks by foster the people, Talk Too Much by Coin, and Broken by lovelytheband 29. best way to bond with you?-talk to me 30. places that you find sacred?-nature, whataburger at 3am, and my room 31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?-I always feel badass when I wear my show chaps 32. top five favorite vines?-omg so many. Road work ahead, Adam, any from that kid that wear his hoodie and has his ears sticking out (snoooooooooop), well when life gives you lemons, you either kill your self or get killed what you gonna do 33. most used phrase in your phone?-lmaooo34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?-tide pods with gronk 35. average time you fall asleep?-midnight ish 36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?-ummmm it was probably some iFunny shit 37. suitcase or duffel bag?-duffle 38. lemonade or tea?-sweet tea 39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?-lemon meringue pie from Bluebonnet Cafe 40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?-some much. Some let a rooster loose in the main hall and no one could catch it, some left stink bait in the locker and the whole school smelled, some just showed up and gave my ag teacher a calf, we had a interim principal who we called Bernie Sanders which he hated and sent out a announcement video telling us to stop and we only got worse 41. last person you texted?-my mom42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?-jacket pockets 43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?-oof I’m a sucker for a cardigan 44. favorite scent for soap?-lavender 45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?-fantasy 46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?-over sized t shirt47. favorite type of cheese?-mozzarella 48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?-I feel like I would be a strawberry bc im a strawberry blond/a redhead 49. what saying or quote do you live by?-sometime it just be like that 50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?-this video has my gasping every. Single. Time. If you’re sad PLS WATCH: https://youtu.be/23B017ZVIx451. current stresses?-finals and getting my wisdom teeth removed 52. favorite font?-I only use times new roman lol I don’t type a lot 53. what is the current state of your hands?-dry but my nails are getting long which I’m glad about54. what did you learn from your first job?-I worked retail so I learned how to handle people at their worst lol 55. favorite fairy tale?-I like the Disney Rapunzel, but I also like the original telling if the little mermaid 56. favorite tradition?-watching the 24hours of a Christmas Story during Christmas 57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?-self harm -body image -fighting 58. four talents you’re proud of having?-creativity through writing, riding, baking, common sense59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?-bro60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?-yoooo61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?-I’ve read too many books to have a favorite line from just one lol, but I heard “I’m a grown up ass man I can do what I want” on AP bio which was pretty funny 62. seven characters you relate to?-Nina Zenik from Six of Crows. That’s it. She’s the only one. 63. five songs that would play in your club?-I cannot stand clubs or bars so none lol64. favorite website from your childhood?-fucking moshimonster.com and girlsgogames.com 65. any permanent scars?-yep. I got burned as a baby and still have the scars on my fingers 19 years later. I have a lot more as well. 66. favorite flower(s)?-I’m more of a succulent person so cactus flowers 67. good luck charms?-I don’t really have any 68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?-I had ranch flavored soda once so that takes it. But I don’t like cheap beer either. 69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? -a daddy long leg spider is the most poisonous spider but their fangs are too weak to pierce human skin 70. left or right handed?-right 71. least favorite pattern?-houndstooth 72. worst subject?-calculus 73. favorite weird flavor combo?-hot Cheetos and sour cream74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?-575. when did you lose your first tooth?- 5 y/o76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?-mashed 100%77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?-jade succulents 78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?-I like sushi from HEB 79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?-school id80. earth tones or jewel tones?-earth times 81. fireflies or lightning bugs?-firefly 82. pc or console?-Uhhh idk??? 83. writing or drawing?-writing 84. podcasts or talk radio?-talk radio 84. barbie or polly pocket?-Polly pocket. Forbidden gummy 85. fairy tales or mythology?-mythology 86. cookies or cupcakes?-cupcakes with no icing 87. your greatest fear?-bugs crawling in my ear 88. your greatest wish?-to be successful and happy with a S/O and a daughter on lots of land89. who would you put before everyone else?-my parents 90. luckiest mistake?-There are no mistakes. Everything happens for a reason. 91. boxes or bags?-depends 92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?-sunlight93. nicknames?-my dad calls me sissy bug and my mom calls me bamber and my friends call my dumb bitch lol so 94. favorite season?Spring or fall. They’re basically the same in Texas. 95. favorite app on your phone?-social media apps96. desktop background?-I don’t have a desktop but my laptop is just a pre downloaded galaxy ones. 97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?-mine, my moms, my dads, and my dads business 98. favorite historical era?-ancient Egypt and the 60s

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theaterdisneynerdsunite · 6 years

Text

Tony Awards Thoughts

So it looks like, at least for now, the CBS website lets you watch it for free (at least in the US). Here are my thoughts using those time stamps (be warned I have a long running commentary)

0:23 Oh is this going to be a parody of her playing the piano on last year’s Tony’s

1:05 How has neither one of them won anything? I mean I get if they said neither one of them one a Tony cause I mean, they both did shows that one time…but anything?

1:18 Is there anything more Broadway than saying the same rehearsed thing at the same time and pretending it was just part of the banter? Oh theater tropes I love you

1:36 That’s always been something that bothered me, people assume that just because something didn’t win the Tony doesn’t mean its not a great show, and the show that wins might not even be the best one that season (you know who you are). I love the Tony’s but its an award show, people don’t stop watching tv shows and movies or listening to artists that didn’t win or weren’t nominated, it makes me sad that so many shows close post Tony’s just because they weren’t the big winner. Anyways…

1:53 THEY CELEBRATED THE LOSERS LIKE ME, these A list celebrities that are totally not losers are soooo relatable ;)

2:40 A few years ago Something Rotten did what I thought was a brilliant advertising campaign listing amazing shows that lost the Tonys like them, so the fact that it was put into song gave me a fond flashback. See? SEE??? Oh it feels so good to be vindicated on tv

3:49 “If you make art at all your a part of the cure” :)

4:10 THEY HAD THE ENSEMBLE MEMBERS BE THE ONES IN THE OPENING NUMBER RATHER THAN THE LEADS THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY. If only my high school self could have seen this she would have felt so much better

6:42 I didn’t see any of the plays this year but I heard the most about Angels in America this season so not surprised. Looks interesting

7:45 Happy Pride Month

8:40 Bake a cake for everyone who wants a cake to be baked would actually be a pretty good diction warmup

14:10 Kinda surprised that they didn’t pick Rather Be Me or Apex Predator considering those are the really marketed songs. “Where We Belong” seems a lot like “Status Quo” from High School Musical. I mean you’ll get that about high school clicks in the lunch room with a blond queen bee but like, even the dance moves felt similar, and the lunch tray dancing, even the giant cat decal. But like, it's not as catchy? I didn’t expect them to win anything tonight but I really don’t think they’ll win anything now? Is that mean? Just cause it feels like it was supposed to be a high energy number and it didn’t have that energy I thought it would. Also come on, just cause you want the girls to be shallow and dumb doesn’t mean the lyrics have to be that cringey. This feels like a less good version of if Legally Blonde and High School Musical had a baby (I absolutely love Legally Blonde that was not intended to be an insult to either show).

15:00 Is it me or did Amy Schumer look like she wanted to say something but Rachel Bloom kept talking. But it didn’t really have any joke setup or serve as a good segway for commentary, what could she have wanted to say?

15:35 Later on I’m going to see if I can find the award speeches that didn’t get televised. most of the world doesn’t get broadway they get regional theater, I wanted to hear what they had to say

15:45 Nick Scandalious feels like a cartoon name you’d see in an Onion article about the Me Too movement. His face even looks like the generic celebrity that had a TMZ scandal five years ago. I thought I read it wrong at first lol

16:40 I was cracking up they know their brand so well. The air quotes on emotional, perfect!

17:10 Mini Sara and Josh are so cute!

17:50 Ok I missed the reference, what is the giant bird lady from?

18:10 oh

20:57 celebrity child picture counter: #3 Amy Schumer. Also guess which year the musical described as “a comedy about class and sexism” is from? Yup it’s My Fair Lady, the audience laughed like I did in that sort of this is funny but also sad kinda way

26:00 This was so overacted and hammy and one day I aspire to that level of loud printed robes. Coincidentally my name is also spelled like Eliza but my voice is not nearly that good. Also does it count as drag if they are clearly men in dresses with some comical makeup or is there another name for it when they aren’t actually trying to look feminine?

26:18 The twitter usernames were too small to see on my screen who were the twitter pictures of?

26:30 See above comment

27:00 What show did Billy Joel work on? Also Billy Joel, Bruce Springsteen, and Josh Groban maybe my mom will finally enjoy theater

29:12 Oh my gosh that picture of Titus Burgess is amazing as is that suit. And that intro is so Titus its great

30:07 Renee Fleming we’ve got the Opera world here too? It’s so many famous musicians from outside broadway on broadway, think of all the crossovers

32:50: Yes spongebob get Josh Groban to sing more thank you for your service. Ok I’m not a huge fan of spongebob but they have to win for sound design that guy is on overload

33:27 Lol it explains so much why the songs sound disjointed cause they got a billion people to write them. Also lol I was waiting for that joke

33:50 Also what I thought would happen would be a medley that way Spongebob who really is the driving energy of the show and Squidward played by the Broadway darling would both have a song. This wasn’t how I expected them to do it, but I was sort of right so I’ll count it. I’m not really a fan of Spongebob the musical (I’ve listened to it twice once when it first came out and once during Tony Season. I’m not one of the people who hate it off the sheer premise and won’t give it a chance, but I just thought it was meh and not worth having the most nominations.) But Squidward’s song is very me, not in terms of melody cause that is I find most of the melodies to be rather generic but the lyrics are 100% me trying to convince myself. Also all I will be thinking about for the rest of the will be what tap dancing must feel like its gotta feel weird how long do you think he spent practicing it with and without the extra legs. Or it might be nightmare fuel with the sea anemone contributing to it, who knows? Probably both,

38:07 still don’t know whose handles those are

38:28 ^^^

38:40 Ok when I saw the outfits I was expecting a Chorus Line Parody, but this Sia parody fits this every genre but musical theater theme of this Broadway season

39:20 Eight times a week, and all the subsequent puns

40:28 Can I just say I love this return to singing interludes over awkward award show banter?

41:44 I saw the Bands Visit a few month’s back and I still don’t know how to describe it. Normally I would guess it would be the second fiddle of the Tony’s but considering the “purists” it’ll probably win most of the awards

44:16 With all the previous reaction shots you knew it had to be Nathan Lane. I always forget how well spoken he is because of his typical roles but he is really well spoken and sincere rather than trying to wise crack and it was so sweet. It made me smile

47:43 His face saying “blow high” has got to be a gif right?

51:45 The entirety of the Carousel number was me thinking if I had a higher sex drive this would totally make me thirsty. They also used very creative ways to physically embody the shape and workings of a ship but then again I’m admittedly biased. Listen to that number you know their vocal prowess was not why they picked it

52:12 I mean, I know that crew gets less attention than cast and plays less attention than musicals but I would watch the full version stop cutting out the speeches. C’mon I love costumes

53:04 I know your joking but that hurts

53:19 yes #4 famous kid photo Uzo Aduba

55:49 Ari'el Stachel’s speech is made all the more poignant when you realize everyone else in his category were white. Despite this season’s commerciality you actually do have shows and casts with Asian leads and African American leads and Latin American leads and Middle Eastern leads somewhere between the sea of shows like Spongebob and Frozen. Show these shows some love, prove that Hamilton wasn’t the anomaly but the rule

56:55 They brought the Parkland teacher for the theater education award! Fitting 65 students into a high school teacher’s office for hours to protect them is not easy, she saved lives that day

58:17 I thought #5 Matthew Morrison was a girl in his child pic

58:40 They went to Parkland?!

59:35 OMG they’re performing!?!

1:00:10 Seasons of Love is the Perfect song for this, they sound so good too!

1:01:18 Girl has an amazing voice! Dang to get up there in front of all of these famous performers on live TV after the media has already hounded them and putting yourself out there is courageous

1:02:45 I can’t see the handles

1:03:11 Will they be able to top NPH’s Tony magic trick though??? Probably not but let’s see

1:03:31 So cheesy but tbh if I had a Harry Potter wand I’d be even cheesier

1:03:46 Was that line improved or was the tech delay intentional?

1:04:22 C’mon Squidward already pulled the same “trick” you have ensemble block the audience pov while someone enters from the back. Didn’t even come close to topping NPH

1:04:43 Little Patti Lupone I can’t believe she allowed them to include her picture of lil’ Patti

1:05:04 I just wanted to include Patti’s line about a “deep appreciation for outspoken women” cause I actually said “you go girl” out loud

1:05:35 Yeah, fun fact, Tony wasn’t a man but was actually short for Antoinette. They referenced it multiple times before, including earlier tonight, but it was stated most explicitly here

1:06:35 Is that a young or modern Claire Danes, I can’t tell

1:07:39 Also it’s really cool that an older woman won something, I feel like the stage gives more roles for older woman that other acting industries, also if people argue that she was political she served political office. Also how cool is it that apparently people were there from every recognized country?

1:09:27 so that’s how they do Sven, I knew Olaf was supposed to be an Avenue Q style puppet but the way they move Sven is really cool (it’s the technique they used on things like War Horse, I don’t know if it’s considered costuming or puppetry or what the official name is)

1:10:20 Anna looks exactly as I pictured her, and they changed a few minor lyrics for it to fit the stage

1:10:44 There are so many quick changes tonight

1:11:22 Elsa did not look like what I imagined her to be, but the costumes are on point

1:12:00 The chorus versions of these songs have beautiful harmony, but Olaf shouldn’t be there yet right? Isn’t he “born” in Let it Go

1:12:47 Alright I’ve been waiting to see how they’ll do the snow effects!

1:14:00 They got out of building the castle by already having it built at the beginning of the song, which is smart technically but I wanted to see how they do it, unless it’s one of those things that’s a surprise for when you see it live.

1:14:25 Never call it “Daddy’s Day” ever again. Never.

1:14:46 I can’t see the handles

1:14:59 How could you not show Chita Rivera’s lifetime achievement? I’ve been lucky enough to see her in more than one show and she is incredible.

1:15:13 And you also cut out Andrew Lloyd Webber’s?? You made the wrong cuts Broadway

1:15:25 It looks like they’re going to show a tribute I’m excited!!!

1:17:42 Two things: Andrew Lloyd Webber has written a weird collection of musicals, like when you see clips of them back to back you realize just how weird of a collection it is, and Josh Groban needs to be the next Phantom

1:18:08 That exchange was so physically awkward they haven’t even started talking yet and I feel the cringe

1:19:18 Is “I swore I’d never do something like that” shade against the La La Land debacle? In 2018? Or am I reading too much into it

1:19:21 I saw the Band’s Visit but I also saw Once on this Island and I thought that one would win Direction for sure but I guess I was wrong

1:22:36 I read Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, it’s a weird read, but I haven’t seen it live so maybe it’s directed brilliantly, who knows? Who else thinks its a weird read?

1:23:56 He’s getting the Tony audience to sing his boyfriend "Happy Birthday" instead of giving a speech and that is both adorably sweet and such a power move. Also a rare occasion of Happy Birthday being sung on key

1:25:10 They’re having DEH perform? You cut out people who actually were awarded tonight for people who already were featured on the Tony’s last year? And that song is a weird choice for a In Memoriam considering that show doesn’t really…respect the deceased. Weird

1:28:17 Give the tech more time in the limelight! You cut out Chita and Webber’s speeches for a weird tribute and you have weird stunts with tech like the magic thing yet cut out all their stage time. I know this is standard Tony procedure but it is something I will comment on every year until it changes

1:29:20 That move for “work hard for the money mom” line was uncomfortable

1:30:30 They really do sound like the original singer

1:31:53 So that’s how the performers follow the conductor. They have a huge teleprompter-like screen in the back of the audience

1:32:52 This cast seems specifically tailored to gather different subsections of internet geeks and I will not tell you which categories I fall into

1:33:18 I never knew “the Jimmy’s” were a thing when I was in high school

1:34:54 THOSE are the great themes of Harry Potter? Really?

1:36:10 Aww look at little Cinderella

1:36:34 How are they going to build that stage for the Tonys? They built a river inside the theater for it before!

1:37:00 Well it makes sense that they’d only include part of the set, you can’t really recreate an entire building. Yes I’m so glad they included Mama Will Provide. That song is like the definition of a Tony performance song. Why did they include the Daniel bit, that was so awkward and broke up the flow

1:40:40 If anyone would be chill with the goat it’s Nathan Lane. Yup, there a live goat at the Tony Awards

1:41:21 Don’t joke about that

1:41:41 Are you going to cut out every technical award

1:42:32 Too relatable

1:43:16 Is this that song from Chorus Line in real life

1:44:10 English Major life

1:46:03 The angel from Angels in America is so Extra TM

1:46:54 That Tony Kushner line was forced

1:47:18 Awkward segway but REMEMBER TO VOTE

1:47:38 That Judy Garland line ties in perfectly with the Happy Birthday to the gay couple

1:48:04 That reaction to the word “money” is me. And also is a gif right?

Am I so much of a Tony nerd that I both knew and was shocked that the accountants weren’t the normal ones from Ernst and Young but instead were from Grant Thorton. Why do I remember what company normally tallies the Tony votes? Why did they change companies? Why do I care so much? But seriously what happened

1:49:00 That phrase just sounded so odd, just the way it was said “my television Daddy-O Tony Shalhoub”

1:53:15 I don’t have the accent and I’m about as white as white can be, but I really want to perform this song somewhere at some point. I have family in this area even though I don’t look like I would but and I just connect to it. The melody is gorgeous and the chorus reminds me of the lullabies of when I was very little.

1:54:15 Every time the young photos come up it puts a small smile on my face

1:54:37 Good on them for putting their money where their mouth is. They actually helped fund arts programs in places where they were cut

1:55:05 I wonder what the rest of the scenic guy’s speech for Spongebob was because this tiny clip seemed so passionate (and just has such an interesting aesthetic). Gosh darn it Tonys stop pretending the only backstage people that count are the directors and producers, you have all these other people who put in so much hard work yet you consistently ignore them. Even orchestrations, choreography and score?? Orchestrations, choreography and score are crucial for musicals to exist as unique entities from plays. You make jokes about people sitting through 5 hour plays but I would gladly sit through a five hour award show if you just included the technical awards.

1:57:10 me trying to open anything ever

1:57:14 Yes! I was so worried they would go with the super old school ones that get constant revivals. I mean, they picked the show that had “1000 pounds of sand, a 100 gallons of water, a goat and 2 chickens into his theater” when you have safer, more conventional bets. Everyone kept sleeping on Once on this Island this Tony season to talk about their feelings about the Spongebob’s and Mean Girl’s of the world but this is such a good show. Maybe this’ll get this show the love it deserves.

1:59:30 what did Robert DeNiro say on the recording the sound cut out. Did the mic cut out did he say something inappropriate, I’ve been avoiding Tony news what happened?

1:59:55 It’s got more than just a big cast, dancing, and a history lesson. You know that applies to, idk like 60% of famous Broadway musicals lol

2:00:06 when someone gives that pregnant of a pause you gotta wonder what the story is there

2:00:27 Truth

2:00:40 “Jersey Boy” that’s such a good one liner, actually, it might sound sarcastic online but that was a funny one liner in context

2:03:00 Is Bruce Springsteen really going to just do spoken word poetry the whole time? Also I don’t know why but this makes me think of Fun Home

2:06:05 Oh he’s going to sing after all. Though that story is about as Americana Fourth of July as anything I’ve ever heard on the Tony Awards ever and that’s saying something

2:07:39: who are these people?

2:08:00 Didn’t Kristin Chenowitz and Alan Cumming do this exact same shtick when they hosted, what 2 years ago? And there’s was much bigger I mean really go big like that Glinda the Good dress or go home.

2:08:23 Was there really no punch line? Also aww baby Kelli O’Hara is precious

2:09:07 The actor’s name sounds like his character’s name and I enjoy that

2:09:39 Well these actors are very different from each other

2:11:28 I am a sucker for genuine sincerity and that combined with some of the earlier moments like the Parkland moment brought me close to tears

2:12:45 Look at this award shows actual diversity, and not just using one show for diversity and nominating a bunch of actors you have 3 out of 6 female leads be people of color and none of them are a “token” and they all support each other. Hailey Kilgore is so young and such a good actress and I wanted her to win so much but she seemed so excited for the person who did win and they all seem happy at the result you don’t have any of that polite loser face they are all genuinely supportive and this makes me happy. I’m happy, look at those smiles I’m smiling, I love it when they show women supporting each other.

12:14:06 “my stupid little heart with so much joy” is me watching these people tonight.

12:14:27 Still can’t identify these people

12:15:00 Josh Groban’s reaction to Bernadette Peter’s name is me. Honestly Josh Groban is killing the potential gif game tonight

I’m sorry I just can’t take this description of them as “empowering stories” seriously when half of your nominations are Spongebob and Mean Girls

2:16:10 Tonight the Band’s Visit really swept. Honestly some seasons shows don’t win any awards that deserved it and other seasons shows that (while still deserving) probably wouldn’t have won win and it’s all kind of arbitrary, but I’m glad out of this batch it won, it was really the only show out of the four that would have gotten the Tony Award ticket sales boost and it got it.

2:17:35 “Music gives people hope and makes borders disappear”

2:19:08 yes another Josh Groan duet!

2:19:25 I love Miss Peters too

2:20:44 This number made me smile, this whole night made me smile. I was worried I would get frustrated by the night with Spongebob and Frozen and Mean Girls and all the potential for it to be a cynical snark fest or a capitalist money grabber spectacular. There are about 10 billion ways I saw myself not liking this year’s Tony Awards before it started and not only am I relieved that I was wrong about the mood of the night but I am elated. I love me some deadpan humor and some snark but you rarely see one of these nights just wholly be genuine and not tongue and cheek and it was such a breath of fresh air. Even the hokey bits like the stupid magic jokes and banter or weaker songs like that Mean Girls number, because everything was in such a kindhearted atmosphere, didn’t feel as bad as they otherwise would have.

#tonys #tony awards #tony awards 2018 #josh groban #sara bareilles #band's visit #spongebob #spongebob musical #frozen #frozen musical #mean girls #mean girls musical #honestly so many shows were nominated this year for revivals and plays and other things #theater #musicals

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madamrogersstorytelling · 6 years

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Day 7: One favourite actor

It’s his birthday today. I’m sitting here, smiling like a maniac because I hope he’s having the time of his life. Or, then again, he can be one of those people who hates getting older and doesn’t really think that birthdays are that big things after all. Or he may celebrate only ten year marks, like 30 and 40 and 50. I don’t really know. Somehow it would be fun to know but, on the other hand, it’s his way and I respect it.

He is 37 now. My mom laughed at me that all my celebrity crushes are around the same age. 37, 36, 35, 41, 39, 29, 51... Not too much dispersion. She stated that I obviously like older, adult men, not those childish boys who think they’re so cool and play around trying everything. She says I like those who have seen the world for a while, know what it takes to live in it, have something mature and open-minded in them. And that’s true. I cannot really stand people my age. Those I went to school with, at least. I think everything they have in their heads are either cigarettes, sex, fooling around, being desperate because of a boy/a girl had dumped them or because they saw a cute boy/girl, going to bars and reveling. I must sound like an old lady... And I’m only 20. But I’m an old soul, have always been; never really understood what the people, same age as I, felt or thought or whatever. I only have a few friends who have been born in the same year as me. I feel better with people older than me. In an environment like Tumblr it doesn’t matter, really - I’ve met wonderful people and I don’t even know how old they are. I’m only talking about those I’ve grown up with, those at the schools I went to and all. Don’t get hurt, I love you all. I think this part of Tumblr I’ve been in, is full of mature and thinking people. That’s why I feel like I belong in the middle of you. The atmosphere is friendly, we all love the same thing so it’s easy to talk to people. If it doesn’t go with someone, then it’s not meant to.

I honestly was a bit shocked when I found out how old Ben is. I thought he’d be younger, at least a year or two. I’m still a bit surprised. He is one of those who look younger their age. As one of those myself (I’m 20 and I look like I’m about 16), I think it’s funny. It has its good side, but it’s also a bit frustrating.

I’ve watched a lot of Ben’s interviews. They’ve given me a thought of him being very easy to be around, the one who knows quite well what to say to make a person laugh. He seems like the kindest and funniest guy ever. Also a bit shy and tender; he looks like someone who cries during movies. I love that kind of people. There is all kinds of sorts of beauty in him, some of them I probably haven’t even discovered yet. Of course, fanfiction is only imagination, but I’ve started to think that he may even be a lot like the Ben Barnes in everyone’s stories, in my own head.

He seems like a polite guy. Meeting him would probably be a very pleasant experience, very inspiring and nice. Even the moment he liked my tweet about seeing Jackie & Ryan felt like a handshake. I like nothing more than to meet inspiring and kind people who have no fear of talking about things they hold dear. Ben seems like a person who could spend a lot of time talking about things he likes. Although, I have a thought that he prefers to be good friends with a person before talking about every single thing about himself. And that’s respectable.

I respect this man. He is my hero and inspiration, like I said before. The reason why he is one of those is his words. And also the way he is who he is. He is this shy, stuttering boy and yet, still, he has made his life out of what he has dreamed of. I’m a shy stutterer myself. It’s extremely soothing to find stories like Ben’s. He doesn’t seem like the most popular boy of his school. If you told me he actually was, I probably wouldn’t believe you. If he has said something like that himself, I haven’t found it yet.

For a while I was kinda lost. I didn’t know what to write or do or make for this seventh day, for his birthday. But I think text posts are actually quite nice. I can write whatever I want about this man. I’m actually a bit embarrassed that until I had seen The Punisher, I knew nothing about how sweet and talented Ben Barnes is. I just knew his face and name, that was all. Shocking, really - when you look at me now. Here I am, participating in an appreciation week and writing an essay about him - something I’ve never done before. Okay, I’ve maybe written essays about what Chris Evans means to me as a person, but I’ve never been a part of an appreciation week. But this is so much fun. Might do something like this again.

Happy Ben Barnes week! And, more than anything, happy birthday, Ben Barnes!

@benbarnesweek

#benbarnesweek2018 #ben barnes #ben barnes appreciation week #day 7 #it's his birthday!!

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treehugginglibrarian · 3 years

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My Nana is Why I’m Like This

Writing about my Nana is hard, because our relationship was at times hard. I think anyone with an alcoholic or an addict in the family can relate to that. I learned a fair many lessons from her over the years, all of them useful even if not all of them were lessons that were learned in an enjoyable manner. That said, lessons are not what I want to think about just yet. Yes, she was flawed. When she was in a good place, though, and at her best, she was a truly wonderful human. For now, at least, for the few minutes it takes to write each of these pieces, I’m going to let myself pretend that this lovely person is all that ever existed of my Nana. To that, I offer some of her more poignant, thoughtful, or generally amusing moments.

Blankie

When I was a baby, basically everyone in my life lived in Massachusetts, as did I. My Nana lived in a nice house in Richmond with her husband at the time. Whenever we would visit, my mother would put a blanket down on the couch so as to ensure that if I puked, or drooled, or spit up, or just did baby-things in my sleep, my Nana’s couch would be safe. Apparently, after so many months of this, I eventually decided the blanket I was laying on was “mine.”

My mother found this out when she tucked it into a closet after we got home one evening, and I started to cry. She opened the closet and I stopped. Close: Cry. Open: Stop. When she walked me into the closet, I apparently pulled the blanket in question off the shelf, stuck my thumb in my mouth, and settled down. I had a blankie. While this was fine for sleeping and such, my mother was a little concerned. Not because blankets are inherently bad, as even back then there were psychological studies showing that children with comfort toys were actually better adjusted than those without. No, she was worried about more practical matters. Such as laundry day. Or if the damned thing should happen to go missing.

Enter my Nana, to save the day.

My Nana had not found the “original” blankie, but she was who found the “spare” that, excepting the overall color, was exactly identical to the one I used every night. So it was that on most days and nights I could be found dragging around a pink and white gingham and flower print blankie, as though it was a fifth limb. On occasion, however, this blanket would be replaced with one that was yellow. So that the pink one could get washed. Until, at the age of 13 or so, an age at which most normal humans would have long since stopped carting a blanket anywhere, I did something crazy: I retired the pink blankie. Torn to bits and more patchwork than blanket, it was time.

My yellow blanket took over, full time, moving into the task like the champ that it was. Sporting little more wear or tear than a grey foot print from a porch painting incident, this blanket has incidentally been a fair many places with me. It went away to college with me. It moved to Israel with me. It deployed to Iraq with me. It is the blanket I have cried into over failed relationships, fucked up friendships, and fights with my mom. And, yes, it was the blanket I sobbed into when I fully realized that I was never going to see my Nana again.

As for how this came to be… My mother watched a young boy have his comfort object taken away when it was done to one of her babysitting charges. She swore that, even if his parents didn’t realize it, he was never completely the same. Comfort objects are constants. Present when distance, disagreements, or death separate us from the people who matter most. She swore then and there, well before she’d ever read any research reinforcing her opinion, that she would never do that to her child. Which is how I was a 24-year-old Army Officer who ended up taking a blanket to Iraq with me. It’s also probably why I have a stuffed cow that’s been to more countries than most humans I know.

Shirley Temples

I have an absurd fondness for Shirley Temples. That’s not a typo in which I pluralized a child actress, nor is it a reference to a rather fun tap dance step. No, it’s a reference to a non-alcoholic mixed drink typically made with Sprite or 7-Up, grenadine, and cherries. Mind you, I don’t much care for Sprite, 7-Up, or maraschino cherries on their own. But mixed with grenadine and presented to me on a special occasion, my brain is convinced it is the best thing ever.

This is completely my Nana’s fault.

As a child, I was fascinated by the glasses that my Nana’s drinks came in. I was disinterested in the drinks themselves, as they smelled funny, but I liked the glasses. They were so fancy and grown up, and everything you said seemed more important if you were holding one. To that end, my Nana took to ordering me a Shirley Temple in a martini glass whenever we were out for a special occasion, that way I could feel important and profound just like the grown ups.

It didn’t take long for special occasions with my Nana to translate into special occasions of all sorts, and for the glass shape to stop mattering quite so much. As I got older, Shirley Temples became my go-to drink if I was out with friends, out for a celebration, or at a wedding, and I knew I should’t be drinking alcohol. Yes, yes, I have been introduced to the “Dirty Shirley” and, while I find the drink amusing, I prefer wine, whiskey, or bourbon if I want actual alcohol.

At a bar after a car accident a few years ago, I asked the bartender if he could make me a Shirley Temple (I was on concussion protocol, no alcohol for at least two weeks), and he found the request so endearing he refused to charge me for it. And, no, he actually wasn’t hitting on me. When I asked him how much it was, his response was, “No charge. That’s the cutest drink I’ve made in weeks. The chance to be a kid at work doesn’t have a price tag attached.”

Courtesy of my Nana’s desire to include me when I was a small child, a simple drink now has dozens of happy memories attached to it and has become a tradition so ingrained that I genuinely cannot think of the word “celebration” without thinking of Shirley Temples. Someday, when my nieces or nephews get married, I’m gonna be that eccentric 50-some-year old woman sitting there with my rainbow hair and my excessive glitter, sipping a bright pink drink.

My Nana would approve.

Scotland

When I was nearly 7, my Nana whisked me away on a near empty flight to a beautiful land of greenery, castles, and grey skies, so we could celebrate my birthday. It was October, so the British Isles weren’t exactly a cheery place to be. It was of no matter to me, though. Every part of the trip, from the passport to the money to the fact that my Scottish great aunt and uncle did not understand the purpose of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, was fascinating to my tiny little brain.

From the moment we landed, I found the “strangeness” of Scotland to be intensely intriguing. I was amused by the fact that my great uncle’s car had the steering wheel on the “wrong” side. I was baffled by the idea that buildings as old as the castles we toured could possibly be standing still. I was mesmerized by the sheer amount of red hair, something I almost never saw back home unless I was looking in a mirror or looking at my mom.

My great aunt Nan was in the beginning stages of what would eventually become dementia, which meant I was eternally referred to as Tammy (my mom’s nickname) and often asked about memories of a childhood I hadn’t lived. I eventually stopped correcting her and, instead, goaded her into telling me about these memories. It’s a sneaky way to learn about your mother’s childhood that only a child can cheekily get away with!

On my birthday, she made me a giant fluffy cake that was covered in bright pink, strawberry icing, and put zero limitations on how much of it I could eat. There was always tea, always, which went a long way towards explaining how my mother had ended up passionately obsessed with the stuff. Presented to me with honey and cream in it, I came home with a new appreciation for my mother’s preferred beverage.

At a tea shop, having no idea what any of the desserts or cakes were, I asked the person taking our order to bring me their favorite. Thus, at the age of 7, I was introduced to scones. Which I described as “cookie biscuits,” because they were too fluffy to be one and too sweet to be the other. I still enjoy them immensely, but only with tea, and I still think they’re technically “cookie biscuits.”

My Nana taught me at a young age that it was not only okay to be curious about the things you didn’t understand, it was okay to go explore them. To ask questions. To try new things. Nearly 30 years after this first adventure overseas, I still travel in much the same way. With a curiosity that is intent on learning about the country and the culture I’m momentarily immersing myself in, a desire to find out what the locals like best, and a fondness for trying all of the hot beverages and desserts humanly possible while there.

Glow-in-the-Dark

Me: Nana, do you remember that time Aunt Anita asked me about blowjobs? Nana: *snort of laughter* Yes, of course I do. You were 14 and you were mortified.

This recollection, gifted to a darkened bedroom in my step-great-grandmother’s house in Montauk, called to mind an event two year’s prior. While visiting relatives in Cape Cod, my great Aunt Anita had asked me if I put condoms on men before giving them blowjobs. Before anyone freaks out, she was on the older side, had never met me before, and probably had no idea that I was only 14 at the time.

My mother was somewhere between mortified, furious, and amused. My Nana laughed and explained that, as her granddaughter was only 14, it was actually pretty unlikely I had given all that many blowjobs in my life. My great aunt looked at me expectantly and, when I nodded the affirmation that my Nana was correct, she sighed and patted my hip. “Child,” she said, “don’t make them wear them.” She raised a finger in the air to emphasize her next point, “it’s not about them, mind you. It’s just that the only thing that tastes worse than a dick, is lubricated latex.”

The more you know, I suppose.

(It is worth noting that I have no idea how this conversation started. I walked downstairs for a glass of water and simply found myself being asked about blowjobs. I like to imagine my great aunt would be entertained to know I’ve given up on dicks entirely.)

Anyway, lying in the dark in Montauk two years later, still having never given a blowjob, I offered my Nana this tidbit: I found out they make flavored condoms. That would solve Aunt Anita’s problem! Nana: *hilarious laughter* I’ll be sure to tell her that the next time I talk to her! Me: They also make glow-in-the-dark ones. Though I feel like that would be a little too much like turning a penis into a lightsaber. Nana: *contemplative silence* Sweetheart, if you need it to glow in the dark, you need more than just a condom I think.

I offer no wisdom or insight gleaned from this exchange. I know only that for years to come afterwards, if either of us noticed something truly absurd while out and about together, we’d point at it and just mutter “look, a glow-in-the-dark condom,” and the other would know exactly what we meant.

Charming the ROTC

“We’re going to Daytona Beach. You should come. We’re gonna stop in Fort Meyers so George can see her great aunt or something.”

So began my spring break trip my sophomore year of college. The only year that I went on what most would consider a “typical” spring break trip, as the two years after that I traveled via the geography department on my campus. Since my Nana lived quite close to Fort Meyers, we figured it only appropriate to stop in and say ‘hi’ to her while we were in the area. Which is how she ended up with 8 or 10 ROTC cadets showing up on her doorstep crazy early in the morning on an April day.

We had set out quite early the day prior intending to drive all the way through. The end state was that we ended up arriving at like 6am or something. Blessedly my Nana was still an early riser, so she welcomed us all in and got us settled with showers and naps. She stuck around much of the afternoon, keeping us company while we splashed in the pool, getting to know the boy I was dating at the time, and peppering my college friends with questions about pretty much anything she wanted.

They were wholly charmed, with at least one of them threatening to steal her away and make her an honest woman. Again.

Come evening, not wanting to witness the debauchery or “get in the way,” she headed a couple doors down to stay with a friend. She’d pointed us in the direction of the wine bottles and the glasses, asking only that we not ransack the expensive stuff, and making a remark about the cleaner being in the day after tomorrow.

I’m not certain what she’d expected to find when she came back the next day, early afternoon, but I don’t think a nearly spotless apartment was it. I had awoken to one of my friends vacuuming. Someone else was scrubbing a bathroom. A third person was unloading a dishwasher that I’d drunkenly loaded and run the night prior. I began stripping beds and doing laundry. By noon or so that day, when she came back over intending to say goodbye as we made our way a touch up the coast to George’s great aunt, the apartment was cleaner than when we’d gotten there.

Naturally, my Army buddies were welcome to come back to visit her any time they wanted. Though O’Dell did get warned that if he asked her to marry him again she was probably going to say yes and that would make things super awkward for me!

I think we’d all have been that polite and respectful of anyone we were visiting. I also think that my Nana made it easier, though, just by being herself. She was the type of person you wanted to be good to. Exuberant from the moment we walked in the door, ever the charmer, ever the entertainer, and wanting only for everyone around her to have fun. It was a simple task to want to repay that kind of energy, even if only in the form of a super clean apartment.

Swimming with Dolphins

Have you ever gotten sun poisoning?

No? You’re a sane and normal human for whom sunscreen is sufficient protection against the big orange ball in the sky? Fuck you and your melanin, I hate you both.

I have gotten sun poisoning.

In Key West.

When my Nana took me to swim with the dolphins.

Stop laughing, I’m not fucking joking!

The day started out fantastic. Obviously. There were dolphins! Does any day that starts with dolphins start out badly? No. Of course not. As I was with my over-protective Nana, I was slathered in SPF five million. Apparently that was no match for the Florida sun in open water, though. Around 3am the next morning I woke up to projectile vomit basically everything I’d consumed after my dolphin adventure. This continued. And continued. And continued. Until, around 7am, it was decided I needed a doctor.

There was basically no one in the waiting room at the hospital in Key West. Despite this fact, after waiting for over an hour, we left. Unsurprisingly, we actually had much better luck at a local family doctor who, despite having a waiting room full of people, was able to see me within 30 minutes or so. He prescribed a suppository which my Nana took me to pick up at a local pharmacy, and then I got to have happy fun times trying to shove drugs up my ass.

By late afternoon the puking had mostly subsided. My Nana had ordered Chinese food as she knew doing so would afford her the ability to order me way too much rice, which I ate tentatively but gratefully. We then got dressed in something resembling normal clothes and decided to salvage the afternoon with a trip down to the shore/board walk/shopping area. At some point I puked in a trash can. At another point my Nana convinced me a popsicle would probably be a good idea since I really needed electrolytes. At one point we walked past a jeweler that was selling gemstone globes and I lamented the fact that I was not feeling well enough to go in and look properly.

As the sun set, we found ourselves sitting on a bench watching buskers, my Nana eating some sort of street food and me eating soup of some sort, having managed to almost salvage 60% of our last day in Key West. I apologized for having ruined our weekend and my Nana kissed my cheek and told me any weekend with me would never be ruined.

The next morning, I felt almost right as rain, though insanely hungry. So we went back down to the shops and such and got pancakes and french toast and all those other things that are delicious but terrible for upset tummies. She then detoured us passed the jewelry store, where we ducked inside and I bought my first gemstone globe. An expense I couldn’t afford, but that I’m insanely grateful I spent the money on. I love that sparkly orb so very much!

Half-way across the bridge back to the mainland, the flashing lights of an annoyed police officer showed up in the rearview mirror. When he walked up to the car and realized the young one was the passenger, I couldn’t tell if he was amused or miffed.

“I’m so sorry, Officer,” I said, leaning across my Nana and smiling as big as I could. “She brought me down here to swim with the dolphins, and wouldn’t you know I got sick and spent yesterday in the hospital. She’s just trying to get me home to a familiar bed and some soup. We’ll slow down.”

The Officer studied me for a minute before telling me to feel better, and letting us off with a warning.

“Out,” I said, pointing out of the car, as soon as he’d driven away. “You cannot be trusted with the keys, out!”

My Nana looked sheepish as we switched sides and I got us back to Naples, sans accidents or speeding tickets.

A month later, I called my Nana laughing hysterically. “They billed me,” I said, unable to control myself. “They billed me as though I saw a doctor. 1800 dollars! They billed me at the hospital.”

My Nana gasped, “They charged you that much to check your fucking blood pressure? You called and yelled at them, right?”

“Of course I did,” I said. “I told them they couldn’t have my money until they treated me, and they voided the bill. But still,” I sighed, still chuckling, “they fucking billed me.”

The family doctor that actually treated me? Still don’t know what I owe him. Either he figured out how to bill Tricare, or he decided an Army Officer puking her brains out was on the house. My guts thank him, either way.

Surprise!

In what had to be the strangest quirk about my Nana, she was probably the only grandmother I know of who didn’t like it when her grandchildren came to stay with her. Admittedly, she didn’t seem to like it all that much when anyone came to stay with her. Everything about our visits stressed her out. Having to plan for our arrival stressed her out. Feeling like she had to entertain us stressed her out. Having us interrupt her perfectly ordered living environment stressed her out. It wasn’t uncommon to feel like you were being shoved out the door by the time a visit was over because, in all honesty, you probably were.

This was helped immeasurably when my Uncle got his own place about 30 minutes from my Nana. Unlike her, he is not an overly ordered individual who likes his living arrangement “just so” and feels compelled to plan for someone’s visit. He really doesn’t care who’s there or not, he’s probably doing his thing no matter what. I started staying with him when I would visit my Nana, eliminating the major stressor of “human interrupting stable environment.”

I eliminated her compulsion to plan for my visit by simply showing up. Unannounced. Like a next door neighbor asking for sugar or milk.

The first time I did this I hadn’t seen my Nana in over a year or so. The visit prior had been… unpleasant… and I had needed some space to recover and recoup. My Nana, though one of my favorite humans, was an alcoholic. This meant visits, or parts of them, could occasionally be volatile. Initially, I had planned to go to Florida just to see my Uncle. He said he’d feel awful if he saw me and my Nana didn’t, though, and insisted I at least see her while I was down. I agreed, but only under the condition that he didn’t tell her I was coming. I didn’t want any of the nonsense and fuss that often led to her stressing herself sick (read: drunk) and, ultimately, wishing none of us were there.

So it was that on a warm February evening I arrived for a “condo complex party” at my Nana’s, and tappity-tapped on her lanai door while calling in a sing-song voice, “Nana, Nana, I’m coming in. I want a hug! And some wine!”

To say she was shocked to see me would be the understatement of the century. I was slightly worried I’d induced a heart attack at first. Shortly after the shock, however, came sheer and unadulterated delight. Possibly the first time I’d seen her be that delighted to see me since I was in high school. Five minutes later, when her friend Cornel arrived and I opened the door he went through the same series of emotions before saying, accusingly, “Ruth! You didn’t tell me Lyndsey was coming to town.”

“Well, I didn’t know!” she said, laughing. “She just showed up on my lanai, saying she wanted a hug and a glass of wine. Isn’t it the greatest surprise ever!”

I stayed with my Uncle the entire visit, and every visit thereafter, allowing her to keep her space as she liked it. We’d go to lunch, go to the zoo, go to the botanical garden, and sip coffee after my long bike rides. I had cracked the code. I had figured out how to visit my Nana, without stressing her out. Because she wasn’t stressed out, she didn’t get snippy or testy or nasty. On the occasion she drank too much alcohol, she mostly laughed a lot or talked about how much she loved us, rather than getting mean.

In the years that followed, I showed up at restaurants to surprise her, showed up at her boyfriend’s condo during a party, and walked into her place in the middle of the afternoon, wearing my swimsuit, to demand she come float on pool noodles with me. It wasn’t unusual for everyone in her social circle to know I was coming, except for her. After all, I had to plan to see them while I was down there, and I couldn’t do that if I didn’t tell them when I’d be in town! Everyone loved the joy she took out of my “just showing up” so much, though, that it was the general habit not to tell her.

The pandemic killed my ability to surprise her, because everything had to be so meticulously planned. Which is why, the last visit I made without my mother, I brought my wife as the surprise. My Uncle knew Lesia was coming with me, but my Nana did not. She was delighted, particularly since she’d picked up an obsession with puzzles and Lesia happens to be very good at them. We’d drive down in the evenings after work, have dinner with her, and Lesia and she would puzzle for a while as I scratched my head and glared at a singular piece with no intention of finding its home.

Of all of my visits, that very first surprise one will reign forever as my favorite one ever made. The look of delight on her face as I came into her living room demanding a hug, the sheer glee with which she told all of her neighbors, “This is my granddaughter. She came all the way from Ohio without telling me. She gave me herself as a surprise! Isn’t it wonderful!” was all the evidence one could ever need of just how much she loved me.

(Even if she didn’t want me sleeping under the same roof as her!)

Wheel Chairs at Zoos

In 2018, my Nana made the last trip to my parents’ house that she would make in her lifetime. It was a trip that was made largely on accident. A year or so prior, we had all decided my Nana needed to get the hell out of dodge before Irene hit, since it looked like that bitch was going to make a bee-line for Naples. Though her condo was generally unscathed, Irene did hit Naples harder than most hurricanes, flooding entire regions of the city and uprooting hundreds of trees. My Nana rode it out with her boyfriend, at his summer place in Maine.

My mother had booked the ticket and had borne the brunt of the airlines’ desire to make big bucks by gouging the shit out of every purchaser trying to get out of the region before the storm hit. They then got harshly reprimanded by the federal government for that bullshit, and found themselves gifting basically anyone who had paid more than they should have with a free plane ticket. My Nana used it to visit my parents. Who tucked her into a car for the two hour drive to Cleveland so that she could see her granddaughter’s house.

My Nana had lived independently for basically forever. She was divorced before it was acceptable to be such and while she remarried a couple times, I don’t know that she ever took any of them all that seriously. Because of the era, there were certain things she’d simply been unable to do. Like buy her own car. Or buy a house. Or have a fucking credit card. So to her, the fact that I owned my own car AND my own house was a remarkable feat signifying how far we had come since she was my age.

Humorously, she ended up visiting us the weekend that our basement flooded, which meant she got to see what the worst parts of homeownership are like. It also meant that simply hanging out at our house wasn’t really an option, since the fans in the basement were so loud it made it difficult to think. As we’d had a hunch we’d want to do something, anyway, we settled on the zoo. It was an idea that made my Nana nervous, as she wasn’t sure she’d be able to walk the entire thing, but Lesia and I were unconcerned.

For $20 bucks, we rented a wheelchair, plopped my Nana in it, and promptly ran around the place like we were little kids pushing a shopping cart. We got running starts to go up hills, popped wheelies on stairs, and shrieked “weeeeeeee!” as we raced down ramps. My Nana was thoroughly delighted, my brother was both amused and embarrassed, and my mom was just happy her mom was smiling ear to ear the entire day. I think my father is now concerned this is how we’re going to treat him in his old age. He’s right to be concerned, we absolutely are.

Two years later, visiting her at her place during a global pandemic in which she had not left her condo in six months, I suggested that she, myself, and Lesia go to the local zoo. I had already looked it up, and we could rent a wheelchair for her so she wouldn’t have to worry about walking. There were a couple different animal shows we could see while we were there and everything. Wouldn’t it be nice to get out of the house for a bit?

“Are you going to say ‘weeeeee!’ when we go down the hills?” she asked, with a mischievous grin.

Indeed, we did.

Pink Wine Glasses

“It’s pink!”

Such was my squeal of delight when, after an exceptionally long workday, my Nana proffered a glass of white wine in a piece of stemware that was, indeed, pink. Though I’m weirdly neutral on pink clothing, I’m a huge fan of random things that shouldn’t be pink, being pink. Pink wine glasses are basically the most perfect wine glasses ever.

To that end, I was delighted when she said, “Oh good, you like them? Take them with you when you go home!”

Which I did. On my very last trip to my Nana’s condo, she packed up those pink wine glasses and made sure they made it into the car with me. I gave her a hug, and told her I loved her, and thanked her for my pink stemware. Two days later, before meeting her and some friends for dinner, my mother and I began the arduous task of packing a months worth of stuff and those wine glasses got lovingly wrapped in t-shirts, underwear, socks, and pajamas. All four made the journey home in one piece.

There isn’t really much of a story to tell here, except that the very last gift that my Nana personally gave me were pink wine glasses. Glasses that I will cherish forever. Glasses that I will use as often as I can, because every time I use them I think of her. Glasses that make everything you drink look just a little pinker. Just a little brighter. Just a little happier.

It was a fitting final present, I think, as my Nana often strove to make my life a little brighter and a little happier. Now, each time I sip her favorite drink, I can capture some of that lightness, courtesy of a gleefully pink piece of stemware.

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