#it was supposed to be different (a lot better) but apparently my skills were not good enough to execute my ideas

[quentinfiletmignon]

PAPA EMERITUS IV • GHOST

A4 • STABILO point 88 liners

#okaaaay... IT'S DONE #the background is kinda meh but it was the best i could do #it was supposed to be different (a lot better) but apparently my skills were not good enough to execute my ideas #the band ghost #ghost #ghost bc #papa emeritus iv #cardinal copia #popia #papa copia #ghost fanart #tobias forge #zentangle drawing #zentangle art #zentangle patterns #fineliner drawing #fineliner illustration #fineliner art #stabilo point 88 #artwork #artists on tumblr #artist #fan art #ghost art #ghesties #popia fanart #hand drawn #hand drawn art #traditional art

[draeisgrayte]

Hot and Tasty| Kyojuro Rengoku

Synopsis: Your best friend introduces you to one of her friends since you’re introverted and don’t get out much. The two of you hit it off and come to find out, this new friend is a lot closer to your heart than you previously thought. 

Warning/contains: cam!boy rengoku, blowjob, mature content, mature language, oral sex, fem and male receiving, maybe a little crush, vibrator on male, slight angst

word count: 7.4K

a/n: i’m finally back, thank goodness. Finals week and then Tears of the Kingdom took over my life. This fic is a small idea I had thinking about Rengoku’s moobies. Like how nice would it be for him to stream with those? Fr, he’d be the type to not understand why he got all the hype. So I dedicate this fic to Kyojuro’s perfect pectorals. 

If there was one thing you knew about yourself, it was that you were a visual person. You learned better visually, vision was your favorite sense. You used it constantly in your line of work, watching how people interact with one another, shows, and how words could come together to form a story. You wrote and you were damn good at it. Though, books hadn’t been flying off the shelves as you had hoped. So you used your skills of being an introvert and lack of a care to create a streaming channel. Fans suddenly started flocking to you and your following grew and grew until it was apparent you could make some good money off of this. You could combine your passion with something you were good at and get paid for it. 

So yeah, visuals made you pretty happy. So happy that even when you touched yourself you couldn’t do so without watching someone else enjoy themselves. Though you couldn’t think about that right now because you were supposed to be meeting up with your close friend Kanroji. She had invited you out to lunch last night and who were you to decline the loveable best friend you’d had for many years now? She’d even offered to pay for your food since she knew times were a little tough for you at the moment. You couldn’t tell her that you’d had a drunk night and accidentally (on purpose) made a big donation to a streamer you watched often. She’d start to ask questions and those questions would lead down a harsh road of embarrassment for you. It’s then that you feel your phone buzz almost as if you’d summoned Kanroji.

Kan_deez_nutsfitinyourmouth 

Great news! A friend I haven’t seen in a while is going to meet us there. He told me he just got a huge bonus from work so he’ll treat us to lunch! I can’t wait for you both to meet each other! I hope this is okay. ~11:37am

You read over the text for a few moments before thinking about what Kanroji’s friend would look like. She had a multitude of friends and they came in all different shapes and sizes. Surprisingly she thought of you as her best friend, out of everyone she was friends with she chose you. It meant a lot to you and even though it was narcissistic, being favored by Kanroji Mitsuri made you feel better about yourself. What if she liked this other friend more? That was something you couldn’t let happen. You’d have to make sure Kanroji didn’t abandon you. This fear was probably irrational and you might need to see a therapist about it. You shrug it off and move off your plush bed. You needed to find something nice to wear because you couldn’t show up wearing the same outfit you’d been in for the last 3 days or so. This old friend had to know you meant business. You decide on a short green floral dress that has a stretchy bust to help contain the gravity sacks. The skirt of the dress fell nicely around your stomach and covered enough of your thighs that you didn’t feel super insecure about them. You once yourself over in the mirror leaning against your wall. You looked cute, cute enough to kill. Which you were willing to do if it meant keeping Kanroji to yourself. You slip into some comfortable off-brand white tennis shoes and glance at your phone for the time. It was nearly noon, you should probably start the short journey to the quaint restaurant. 

You arrive a little past noon and spot Kanroji seated near the window. Your eyes instantly track the man sitting across from her. He has long blonde hair with red tips. It falls past his shoulders in spiky waves. His shoulders are…incredibly broad, and muscular, and you find yourself staring at the lines of his muscles through his shirt for longer than you would like to admit. You move shyly toward the pair and before you can appear fully in front of them Kanroji notices you. Her face lights up with an excited smile as she waves you over.

“Y/n you made it!” She beams. The man slowly turns and then he abruptly stands up. You slightly jump at the sudden movement but watch as he bows his head and then extends his hand. You look between his massive hand and his bright red and yellow eyes. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you y/n, my name is Kyojuro.” His eyes seem to glow as he grins warmly at you. You take his hand in yours and shake it. A pull of electricity courses through you once your skin makes contact with his. He motions for you to sit next to him with a friendly smile. You accept only because he smelt like delicious food and maybe expensive cologne. He wore a fitted black tee paired with simple blue jeans. You don’t know how he did it, but somehow he looked incredibly good-looking. Maybe it was because he was just that good-looking. How the hell were you supposed to feel confident when you sat next to two beautiful people?

Rengoku was nervous. He’d never seen someone as effortlessly breathtaking as you. He’d never known love before, but he was starting to understand what the phrase love at first sight meant. You were meadows kissed by the sun. You were birds soaring in the sky. You were melodies played by a symphony. Kanroji should’ve warned him that you were more than his type, you were perfect. Rengoku sends a glare toward Kanroji, who smirks his look off and turns her attention to you. 

“So what have you been up to this fine morning y/n?” Kanroji inquires. You glance at the man next to you who doesn’t seem too interested in the conversation, so you decide to tell the truth. 

“Well, I woke up pretty late, but once I cooked myself a nice breakfast I was pretty pumped to get some work done.” You reply, fiddling with the skin on your thumb. Kyojuro peers at you with an inquisitive look. 

“What do you do for work?” He asks, his eyes searching your face like they’ll reveal the answer before your mouth does. You smile kindly and gesture to yourself. 

“I’m a self-published author who also likes to stream on Twitch for some extra cash.” His eyes light up like a fire. 

“I like to stream too.” He exclaims. You feel your heart soar. For a moment you thought Kyojuro would ask you the same line of questions everyone else seems to. When will you get a real job?

“Really? What platform do you stream on? Maybe I know it?” You quiz. Kyojuro quickly looks away from you. You furrow your brows and observe a red tinge to his ears. 

“It’s…pretty unheard of. I don’t think you’d know it…” He trails off. Why did the mood change so suddenly? Did you say something wrong? All you wanted to do was support Kyojuro since it felt like the two of you were becoming friends. Anxiety thrums in your chest. Maybe you weren’t as likeable as you had originally thought. Kanroji’s favor had gotten to your head. 

“Well, I have an idea.” Kanroji pipes up, breaking the silence you had inevitably created. You turn to look at her, who had been silent strangely for a while. “Why don’t you both exchange numbers and then Rengoku can send you some of his content when you get to know each other better.” She smiles slyly and Kyojuro shares a strange look with her. He presses his full lips together and lets out a short breath. She pulls out a pad of paper from her bag and passes it to you with a pink pen. “Write down your number. I’m sure Kyojuro will contact you as soon as possible.” She grins, but you can see the mischief in your friend’s green eyes. What was she planning? You scribble down your number and tear out the page it’s on. You hesitate for a moment before sliding it over to Rengoku. His eyes are trained on the piece of paper like it holds the world's secrets. 

“Thank you…” He mumbles softly. You nod your head and look away from him. 

“No problem.” You respond not sure what just happened. You hear Kanroji giggle and look up to find her covering her mouth in an attempt to stifle her laughter. “What is it now?” You ask, frustration dripping from your tone. This only fuels her laughter more. 

“You both are just so…” She shakes her head and gestures to you and Kyojuro. “So cute. We have to hang out more.” 

“We haven’t even ordered our food Mitsuri. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves” Rengoku glares at her. She gains a shit-eating grin on her face. You stare at the shoes you had slipped on, doubt that you should’ve even came today seeping into your thoughts. Did he not want to hang out with you again? He didn’t owe you anything, but did he have to make it so obvious that he wanted to never do this again?

“Well by all means let’s eat because I’m starving.” She grins and clasps her hands together. You peer up at Kanroji, observing her beautiful hair and sharp face. She was the type of girl that people stopped to stare at. You were always the glance, never the double-take. The small lunch ends with mainly Kyojuro and Kanroji catching up about what they’d been up to lately. You sat watching the two interact, mostly entranced with the way Rengoku’s smile seemingly brightened up the dim restaurant. You wished you could watch his mouth all day. The way he formed words was somehow sexy. His whole face expressing his emotions without a filter or care how others would react to him. Kyojuro was beautiful. A ray of warmth in your somewhat cold life. The time ticked by in an instant, and suddenly you were standing to leave. Kyojuro had left to pay for the food and you stood waiting for Kanroji to gather her things. “So, do you like him?” She suddenly blurts. Kanroji had a sixth sense of matching people together. It was like she was a matchmaker in her past life. She just had these feelings when two people would click together in the type of love you hear about in the fictional world. Your eyes widen at her blatant question. 

“I just met him.” You hiss, narrowing your eyes at the obvious answer. Kanroji on the other hand sighs loudly and rolls her eyes. You weren’t even sure if he liked meeting you. 

“Y/n, I’m not asking if you want to have his children, just a simple ‘Do you think he’s a cool person’? What are your opinions on him at this moment?” She restates. You flush and look away from her prying eyes. 

“I…I mean he’s really cool…” You mutter. You know Kanroji is smirking even without looking at her. You can’t seem to stop the confessions, even though you knew she’d tease you about it later. “I think his smile is the most attractive thing I’ve seen on someone, besides his obvious muscular body. He feels safe, which sounds weird because I’ve only just met him, but I think I’d grow to trust him.” You rant, embarrassed that your mouth won’t seem to close. Kanroji pats you on the shoulder and her sly smirk changes to a smile of compassion and understanding. 

“I’m really glad it seems you want to be friends with him. My little introvert is growing her social circle.” She wipes away a fake tear and you shove her slightly. Her mischievous glow comes back as she pushes you back. “So you do want to have his babies?” She teases. You’re about to object because even if you want to be friends with him that doesn’t mean he wants to be friends with you, but you feel a presence and you know exactly who it has to be.

“Who’s babies?” Kyojuro’s deep voice asks from behind you. Your whole body freezes and then goes warm. Kanroji on the other hand starts to laugh. At times like this, you really hated your best friend. 

“Doesn’t matter.” You grumble and push past the both of them. “I’m leaving.” You don’t wait for either of them, just walk out the door and start the short walk to your apartment. What were you thinking? You got too comfortable with something you didn’t even have. It’s not like Kyojuro would ever look at you like that. You were stupid and… and insecure. Stupidly insecure about your body. What Rengoku lacked in body fat you surely made up for. He probably wanted someone built like himself, able to keep up. You’d just end up slowing him down. You feel a cold coil of anxiety and sorrow wrap around your body. It’s then that someone runs up behind you. You turn around expecting it to be Mitsuri, but Rengoku stands there panting slightly. He was a sight to see. The dimming light of the evening made him glow like an ember. In a way he reminded you of the sunset; once he left you’d be all alone in the dark with only the light from your monitor illuminating your face. He searches your face for some sort of sign that you were displeased. He was worried he’d said something that offended you. He didn’t want to admit it, but he wanted to get to know you enough that you might consider becoming intimate with him. He’d never met someone like you and he was damned if he let you go now. 

“Did I say something wrong?” He finally asks. Might as well get to the point. There was no need to dance around what he wanted to ask you. You raise your brows and shake your head slowly. Why would he think that? Was he being serious? Never the less, it wasn’t him who had sent your emotions necessarily into a frenzy. It was the pushiness of your best friend. 

“No Kyojuro, Kanroji just takes her jokes too far sometimes. I shouldn’t have stormed out like that…” You sigh and press your lips together. Kyojuro’s face relaxes and you are blessed with another one of his smiles. 

“Yeah, I know what you mean. Can I say something weird?” He rubs the back of his neck and looks off to the side. You tilt your head and shrug, but you can’t help the nervous butterflies the creep up to your sternum. You want to shove them down and tell them there’s no place for them here, but you almost enjoy the way they make you feel.

“I don’t have a problem with whatever you want to say. Go ahead.” You reply. He clears his throat and your eyes meet. 

“I’m glad I got to meet you today. You seem really cool and I look forward to getting to know you better.” He mumbles shyly. You can’t help but swoon at the adorable tone of his voice. All your anxietys melt away and are replaced with a steadily beating heart and throbbing lower region. This man had such a hold on you after a few hours of being next to one another. Your face contorts into an idiotic grin.

“Me as well.” You pause and you notice your heart pounding in your chest. You can’t tell if you are nervous talking to someone you want to be friends with… or if it’s the easy attraction you have for him. You decide it’s probably a mixture of both. You also decide to be bold. “Make sure to text me, I want to see your content sometime soon.” You bow your head and go to leave, but before you turn around you catch Rengoku’s face flushing a bright red. Hmm… what an interesting reaction. Maybe…just maybe you should give love another shot. If with anyone, surely Kyojuro would be an excellent choice. 

Kyojuro’s heart was nearly pounding out of his chest as you walked out of his view. He watched you until he couldn’t anymore. He stumbles toward the wall and braces himself against it. He attempts to catch his breath and places a hand over his heart. How was he supposed to show such an innocent person the type of content he made…? He couldn’t possibly share his deepest darkest secret with you. You would surely leave him behind if you learned of it. Maybe it was time for him to branch out into the gaming genre so he’d have something to show you. 

You got home around 5:30. It didn’t seem like you’d stayed out that long, but here you were nearly 5 hours later finally getting home. You’d somehow made a new friend. This was huge. A momentous occasion. You should celebrate. You look down at your phone and then remember the pounding of your heart earlier. You knew an excellent way to relieve some stress.

It’s not long before you’re in your room propped up on your bed. You grab your laptop from your bedside table and place it on a pillow in front of you. You type in the URL of one of your favorite sites. A horny smile curls the corners of your lips upwards as you search for one of your favored content creators. Yoro was a hunky man, with huge pecs. You could only imagine what they must feel like. His content was very straightforward, but he specialized in role-play, pillow talk, and was famous for his incredible whimpering. It…did things to a person. He always had his hair tied back into a low ponytail, so it had to be long. You wonder how much he’d beg for you if you pulled his hair…Needless to say, this man had you wrapped around his finger. If you ever got the chance to meet him… goodness you don’t even know what you’d do. Probably drop your pants to let the flood free. Yoro also wore a black mask and sometimes a black cap that he pulled over his eyes. It was a little disappointing that you couldn’t see his face, but the rest of him more than made up for it. His body was a work of art and you’d never seen a cock prettier than his. It had to be around 5 to 6 inches long and was so girthy. You wonder if he’d be able to fit inside you. In fact, he was the biggest expense in your life. He was the reason you had spent a lot of money when you were drunk. You had to be his number-one fan. Had to be. 

You pull up one of his recent videos and lean up against your headboard. Yoro’s setup was very simple; a view of his bed, which had deep red sheets on it, his gray walls, and a small view of his desk where he sat for Q and As at times. He starts off the video sitting at his desk and explaining that he’ll be trying out a new toy a fan had sent him. It was a small vibrator that could be wrapped around the penis. He looked excited from what you could tell and that made you horny for some reason. You shimmy out of your underwear and toss them on your floor. You spread your legs like you’re showing Yoro your pussy. He’s already strapped the toy onto his cock and has it turned on a low setting. 

“Fuck, this feels weird.” He chuckles in a deep voice. You bite down on your bottom lip as your fingers duck into your folds. “I’m going to turn it up higher.” He explains and presses the button a couple of times. You can hear the buzzing from here and your heart pounds with lust. You wanted to be there teasing him with the vibrator. Making him whimper and whine for you give him sweet release. Your eyes close slightly as you gaze at Yoro on your screen. His hair was tucked into his hat this time and you never desperately wished to see someone’s face as they were being pleasured as you do with his. Yoro doubles over on the bed and his legs start to shake. “Ngh. Fuck. It feels so good.” He whines. His eyes dart to look at the camera as he struggles to stay standing. You flutter your eyes closed as you massage your clit with your fingers. God this was so hot. “I think- ahh- close. I’m going to,” His breath shakes as he tries to talk. His muscular arm contracts as he grips the sheets of his bed. “F-fuck, holy shit.” He sputters out as cum spurts from his tip. You bite back a moan and fall off your climax with a shiver running up your spine. 

“Wow.” You pant as the video ends. Your eyes shut. You were worn out from everything you did today. Socializing and now this? You’d clean up tomorrow. Right now you were going to fall asleep. 

You wake up with a notification from an unknown number. You rub your eyes and read over what the number had said. 

‘Did you get home safe?’ 

It then clicks that this must be Kyojuro. You smile to yourself and save his name as apricot since that’s what his name and hair reminded you of. 

Yn

Yes, I got home safe and sound. I Fell asleep right after I got in the door.

Apricot

hahaha, did you fall asleep in the entryway?

Yn

Lmao, no I at least made it to my bed.

Apricot

damn, so I can’t bully you about being one of those people who sleep on the floor?

Yn

I’m afraid not 🙁

Apricot

dw, I’ll find something else to bully you about

Yn

jeez I thought we were friends, but now I find out you’re actually a horrible person

Apricot

yup, I’m a monster 👾

Yn

wtf emoji is that

Apricot

he’s a cute lil monster wdym?

Yn

oooh sure, ‘cute’

Apricot

>:( so now you’re bullying an inanimate object? Who’s the monster now? 

Yn

caught red-handed, I actually eat children in the night

Apricot

:0 how scandalous 

You shake your head and toss your phone to the side of your bed. How could one person be so damn adorable? You remember last night as your face flushes. You should probably clean up and then start planning out your next few streams. After donating nearly 1k to Yoro, you needed to pump out some streams to earn more money. 

Apricot

What’s your favorite color?

You bite your lip and think for a beat before typing a response. 

Yn

I’m partial to greens and pinks, but I can’t lie and exclude reds and purples 🙂

Apricot

I like red too, it was my mother’s favortie color

Yn

Is she…?

Apricot

Yeah…it happened when I was young so I’m mostly over it

Yn

You don’t have to be over it Kyojuro, grief doesn’t have a deadline

Rengoku doesn’t respond quickly so you set your phone to the side of your desk. You’d put in a load of laundry and starting scheduling streams for next week while texting him. You’ve barely begun to move some items around in your plans when you hear your phone go off. 

Apricot

You’re right, my father was never the same after she died and I think he took it out on me. Maybe that’s why I’ve made some of the rash decisions because I wanted to live up to the disappointment he thought I was. It didn’t help that my little brother watched as our father beat me down with his words nearly every day. That’s why I’m working so hard, so I can provide a better life for my brother…and for my father.

You stare at the message, tears threatening to spill from the corners of your eyes. The thought of anyone thinking Kyojuro Rengoku was a disappointment was practically unthinkable to you, and you just met him yesterday. You feel angry, sad, and sadistically happy that he felt comfortable enough to tell you this. 

Yn

Firstly, I want to tell you thank you for sharing. That was incredibly brave of you. 

Then there’s what you said, Kyojuro I don’t think you could ever be a disappointment. You’re a product of what happened to you and the environment that was pushed upon you. You grew up damn well, you’re kind, funny, and intelligent. Grief effect people in the strangest ways, I’m just sorry your father got the short end, I can’t imagine how it must of been for all of you. Your father lost the love of his life and you lost a mother. I hope you and your father can make up. 

Apricot

I will fight my whole life if it means I can see him. That’s what love is. Thanks for listening to my rambling. Sorry if I overwhelmed you with the sad boy vibes. 

Yn

No no no, it’s nice to know you’re human. When I met you yesterday I was convinced you were some sort of God

Your face flushes as you boldly send the last text. You flip your phone over and ignore the buzzing. You had to get back to work anyway. 

Rengoku was curious what you meant, but for some reason you weren’t reading his messages. He sighs loudly and presses his lips together. You were too cute for your own good. The beast inside of his chest was throbbing. Then there was the aching in the confines of his pants. He was a gentleman, but you were making him think of ungodly things to do to you. How cute your face would look high on pleasure, cumming for the 100th time for him. You’d be such a good fucking girl for him. Opening up your sweet legs and exposing your cunt for him to taste. You’d be absolutely delicious. Thats when he notices a text back from you.

Yn

I never thought I’d see a sunrise and sunset simultaneously. That’s what it’s like being with you. Is that weird? You’re a very warm person lmao

I feel like that’s weird.

Ignore that.

Kyojuro, don’t get the wrong idea

Fuck

He can’t possibly contain his smile. Delicious. 

It’s been about 3 months since you initially met Kyojuro Rengoku. The two of you had been messaging back and forth nearly everyday, hanging out occasionally, and it was apparent how attracted you were to him. He was intoxicatingly charming over text and when you’d see him in person his smile would wrap your body in a warm coat of giddiness. No longer were you controlled by the cold hands of anxiety. Rengoku’s presence and persisting nature made you realize that you simply shouldn’t give a fuck. You’re you and that’s priceless. Kanroji was ecstatic when you first told her Rengoku asked you to hang out alone. She was convinced you were in love with him, which… probably wasn’t far from the truth. You knew so much about him, but the one thing you were still curious about was the content he made. One part of you felt like it was too late to bring up that topic, but the other part was dying to know if he played games or was more of a talking streamer. What type of things did he do to entertain his viewers? As if summoning him a text message buzzes from him on your phone screen.

Apricot

You wanna come over and chill tonight? I got that new movie you were asking about 😎

Yn

Ahh sick, yeah I can be there by 4

Is that good?

I could come earlier but I have some work to finish up before I can make it

Apricot

Yeah that should work

I do have some things I’ll need to finish up in my office though, so if you’re fine just chilling by yourself for like an hour or so until I’m finished then we should be all set

Yn

Hell yeah man, I’ll take a nap on your comfortable ass couch

Apricot

Just don’t drool on my poor pillows like last time 🙁

Yn

Yeah sure, or I could just not come over

Apricot

FINE, at least hide the massive puddle from me instead of showing me like some proud child who just drew on my walls 😭😭😭😭

Yn

Sorry you give off daddy energy 🤷‍♀️

Apricot

It’s my daddy issues rubbing off on me 🚩😭

Yn

🚩🚩🚩🚩 problem child alert 

Apricot

Hey! You have no idea how evil Senjuro can be. He may look cute, but he uses that against you

Yn

Sounds like a child is able to outsmart you 

Apricot

Just hurry up and get your ass over here 

Yn

Yes sir 🙄

You grin to yourself and those happy butterflies fill your chest yet again. Over the past few months you’d gotten used to the wishy washy way they made you feel. Kind of like you were sinking through a cloud, but a big hunky man would catch you when you fell through. It’d been a while since you masturbated to Yoro since you mostly thought about Kyojuro now. In a way you felt bad, but not too much. You hum happily to yourself and finish up the last minute touches to a cover you were working on. You shut down your computer and glance at what you were wearing in your mirror. Oversized gray sweats and a knit blue tank with a heather gray cardigan loosely covering your shoulders. You looked incredibly sexy. A large grin overtakes your face as you make your way to leave for Kyojuro’s, who happens to live a small jaunt north of you. 

Rengoku paces nervously waiting for you to arrive. Tonight was the night he wanted to tell you that from the beginning he thought you were the most attractive person he’d ever met. How he would say that without sounding creepy…? He didn’t know. He just hoped you’d take it as a compliment. His breath was short and for a moment he thought he might pass out. He feels his phone buzz in his pocket and instantly reaches for it. When he realizes it’s a call from his manager he furrows his brows. He hesitantly answers. 

“Yoro, listen, I need you to stream sometime tonight. Views of your colleagues are down to I need you to fill in the donation gaps.” Before he can argue the phone goes silent. His eyes darken and he throws his phone against the couch. He’d planned on editing some videos, but now he had to stream by contract. 

“Fucking hell.” He curses lowly and clenches his fist. 

You arrive within 10 minutes of leaving, the wonderful air making you in an even better mood. Your smile hadn’t left your lips since your conversation with Kyojuro. You take the elevator and knock on his door around 4:33pm. He opens it briskly, his blonde and red hair in a mess around his face. His chin is scruffy and he wears a loose fitted white shirt with black sweats. He looks amazingly sexy. 

“Hello Kyojuro,” You sing and step into his apartment. You wander over to his plush couch and flop down into the cushions. “Don’t mind me, I’ll be here watching some videos while you busy yourself with important secretive content things.” You tease. Little beknownst to you this stikes a nerve in Rengoku. He grits his teeth together and stalks past you. 

“Just stay quiet. I’m going to lock the door.” He quips sternly, barley looking at you. You furrow your brows and watch as he stomps into the office and closes the door. You listen for the click of the lock but it never comes. 

“Who peed in his cheerios?” You whisper to yourself and sigh loudly. His grumpy demenour had certainly put a damper on your mood, but you were too excited to take another nap on his couch to really care. You were sure when you woke up he’d be back to his bright and cheery self. Not long after you lay your head down you fall asleep. 

Rengoku is in your dream, but so is Yoro. They’re both looking at each other and then Rengoku is shirtless and you don’t really care about Yoro anymore. 

You awaken from what seemed like a short dream to a loud noise coming from Kyojuro’s office. You grunt in response, upset that the real Kyojuro probably won’t become shirtless. Your eyes slowly adjust to light and you stretch out your legs and arms while making a silent screeching noise. Not sure why stretches felt so good while making a noise, but it had to be scientifically proven. You should probably check on Kyojuro. You glance at your phone and realize you’d been asleep for nearly an hour. How long does it take to become shirtless? You roll your eyes and smack your dry lips. You stand and stretch one more time before wandering over to the office door. You grab hold of the knob and knock softly.

“Kyojuro?” You whisper hesitantly and twist the knob. The door slowly opens into the office, or what you thought was the office. Your eyes first land on the bed over to the left of the room covered in red sheets. Your eyes flick to the gray walls and then to Kyojuro, who’s eyes are widely looking into yours. It’s then you realize this Kyojuro is in fact shirtless. And pantless. Dick out. Mask on. Hair tucked into a hat. Yoro. The man you touched yourself to and would do anything to fuck. Shame for watching Kyojuro’s content without his consent rushed through you for a moment. It wasn’t like you had purposefully sought out what he posted, but happened upon it before you even knew each other. As long as you never told him you were a fan, things would work out. You wanted to keep this between the both of you for as long as you could. You notice the camera flashing and scoot back toward the door, eyes still trained on the magnificent body in front of you. A wash of overwhelming feelings crash into you, but for the sake of whatever the fuck was happening, you stayed calm. 

“Sorry guys, my cat almost knocked over a plant.” Kyojuro laughs and turns back to his audience. You notice the vibrator strapped to his dick again and the hunger you had tried to keep calm all this time nearly bubbles out. You’d definitely have to talk this out later, but right now you didn’t want to leave the room. You observe him glance at you a couple of times, but he’s trying so hard to keep his cool. He must think you’re in shock. Appalled. Grossed out. Nope. You’re just really fucking horny. It’s taking all your being to not jump him in front of his camera right now. Everything seemingly clicks into place. Why he got so weird at the restaurant. He didn’t want to tell you he was a cam boy. Why he never shared his content with you. Why he was always so secretive with his office and planning. He also happened to be the one streamer you would do anything for. Which meant in a way you were double horny for him? Maybe after he was done you could convince him to give you a private show? Or was that weird? Maybe that was weird. No harm in asking though. “Yes yoroslut the donations are hooked up to the vibrator. If you send a certain amount it correlates with a certain power setting on it.” He smiles as he replies to a comment. Your heart beats faster in your chest as you watch the live show. You could have some fun with this…

You pull out your phone and notice Kyojuro tense. You smirk and sit down on the ground, back against the wall. He furrows his brows as he watches you, obviously confused on what’s happening. You pull up his stream on your phone and lick your lips with anticipation. You click the donation button and the small gift option. After a couple seconds a low buzzing can be heard from Kyojuro. He tenses and his eyes widen as he realizes what you’re doing. His cock stiffens and you can feel your pussy throb hungrily. He’s trying to pay attention to the stream in front of him, but you were distracting. You donate a medium gift. Louder buzzing and Kyojuro lets out a breathy moan, eyes trained on you. He was searching your face, his muscles tensed because of you. His chest is heaving and you enjoy the way his cock twitches because of the donations you’re sending. Next was the large gift. Incredibly loud buzzing fills the room and Kyojuro doubles over gripping his desk. He whimpers and it cracks into a loud moan. You can hear his breathing from where you sit on his floor. The buzzing continues and Kyojuro starts to shake, his muscles flexing like crazy as he tries to contain himself. You read some of the comments flying by. 

Great show. This is so hot!

This is why Yoro is my favorite!

So glad you decided to stream tonight!

Rengoku is letting out soft moans and his eyes squeeze shut. You can’t handle the hunger building in your chest and pussy so you crawl over on all fours to his chair. He’s already scooted out pretty far from trying to contain himself, so crawling under the desk is a simple task. Once you’re there you peer up at him. His blazing eyes meet yours and from the way he’s breathing you can tell he’s close to climaxing. 

“I want you to be a good boy and cum in my mouth.” You whisper ever so lightly. His eyes widen slightly but then they flutter shut and he gives you the tiniest nod. You rip off the vibrator from his throbbing and twitching cock. You wrap your hand around him, but since he’s so girthy your hand barley covers any space. You work him as best you can nevertheless. Kyojuro grunts softly and he tries to look back at the comments. You like the way his dick feels in your hand, theres a slight curve at the tip that helps him not slip out of your handjob. 

“I-I like,” He groans and his eyes shut again. “I enjoy ramen.” He pants. He must be answering a comment. It’s time for the finishing move. You smirk to yourself, even though you’re a little nervous. You were having fun now, but what about later when everyone had their clothes on and it got serious? You push those thoughts to the back of your head and kiss Kyojuro’s tip and make eye contact with him. You smooch it again and his body visibly shudders. You then take him in your mouth, lips curling around his length. “F-fuck.” He curses and you hear him hit the desk above you. “Sorry guys, I-I-I,” His eyes roll back into his head and without finishing you hear the end of the steam noise. You still bob your head up and down his cock. You can feel him tensing in your mouth. He tears off his mask and hat, watching you suck his pretty cock. He runs a hand through his hair and leans back in his chair, letting out a low rumbling moan. You hum against his dick and his hand is suddenly in your hair, tangled with the soft locks. He pulls your mouth off him and stares at you, breathless. “What the fuck are you doing princess?” He growls. The angry look on his face tells you that you should be scared, but the fact he called you princess in that tone makes you squirm with excitement. 

“Reciting the declaration of independence.” You reply like a smartass. Kyojuro looks you up and down, spit dripping down your chin and a bit of his precum smeared under your lip. You glance down at his erection and then meet his gaze again. “Are you going to let me continue…or?” You trail off moving closer to him on your knees. Kyojuro’s last bit of humanity is thrown out the window as he can smell your delicious scent. 

“No.” He replies in a raspy voice. You tilt your head as he stands from his chair and flops down on the bed. “Come over here y/n” He commands. Your eyes widen and heat crawls all over your body. Rengoku lays on the bed, putting a pillow underneath his head. His eyes track you as you slowly rise to your feet. You sheepishly drop the cardigan and step out of your sweats. Your tank top is easy to slip off over your head and your sports bra comes off with it. You then slowly shimmy out of your underwear. Rengoku’s eyes flit over every inch of your body. He looks away before glancing back. Taking a double take. You feel your whole body warm. “Now get over here princess.” His usual fiery eyes are dark and hungry. With the way your needy cunt pulses, you don’t waste any time. You crawl up on the bed with him and slowly start to position yourself over his chest. His eyes practically eat you up as you scoot a little closer. “Come on my love, you need to be on top for me to use my mouth.” He coos. You nervously bite your lip and sit down on his face. His nose to your clit and he doesn’t miss this oppurtunity to be smothered by your thick thighs. The tip of his nose rubbing against your clit and a soft moan slipping from your mouth. Before you have any time to react his tongue slips between your folds. A surprised yelp comes from your mouth as he continues to explore you with his tongue. It swirls against your clit, prodding the sensative spot like it was something stuck in his teeth he was trying to get out with his tongue. You try to find friction against his nose, biting your lip to contain your moans. Your breath becomes heavy and labored as Rengoku fucks you with his long tongue. You bring your finger to your mouth and bite down. 

“Ah, Kyojuro, oh my god.” You murmured. Your words must motivate him to not let up on nudging your clit with his nose and lapping up your juices. “F-fuck, ungh, yes, right t-there.” You can feel the pressure of an orgasm building in the pit of your stomach. You feel like you’re seeing stars as he continues. Your hands are suddenly tangled in his hair holding him to your pussy. Your legs start to jerk as you ride out the shockwaves of your orgasm. You let out a howling moan, finally not holding back the sounds you wanted to make. You slide off his face and flop down on next to him. Kyojuro pants and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. He licks the juices off his hand and maintains eye contact with you. 

“Fucking tasty. Best thing I've ever ate.” He pants, looking you up and down. “Don’t hold back those beautiful noises from me my love.” A boyish grin replaces the serious look on his face as he props himself up on his elbow. “So I guess you know what I do for a living now.” His cheeks are red and your heart pounds in your chest. Yeah and you were his top donator. “I hope you don’t mind, I mean it seems like you didn’t because…you know…we…” He glances away and bites his bottom lip. “What I’m trying to say is…what are you thinking right now?” His eyes meet yours again looking for an answer.

What were you supposed to say? You knew about him before so the shock of finding out that Yoro and Kyojuro were the same person hadn’t phased you. What was bothering you was Rengoku finding out that you were a fan of his. You feel like that would cause problems between the both of you and all you wanted was to be able to fuck him as you pleased. Hell, maybe you’d even start to date. You didn’t know, but him figuring out that you’d watched him before wouldn’t be good news. 

“I think we should continue where we left off.” 

Yeah, this was for the best. 

#rengoku x reader #rengoku #rengoku my beloved #rengoku headcanons #rengoku kyojuro #kny kyojuro #kyojuro my beloved #kyojuro drabble #rengoku drabble #rengoku smut #kyojuro smut #kny rengoku #kny smut #kny headcanons #kny drabble #kny imagines #smut fanfiction #Smut #camboy #mitsuri kanroji #mitsuri kny #kanroji #demon slayer fanfic #demon slayer smut #demon slayer x reader #demon slayer headcanons

[holymaccaronii]

[Part 5/???] AU rambling: HEL-102

(The drawing kinda ate, I had to include the ihnmaims tag on this one sorry 😔. It’s not AM, this is an oc/parallel of AM for my Au btw)

I know I added this whole society of robots thingy on the moon purely because I needed a background for BE, but I also kinda wanted to practice my design skills on robots. That one chart I drew once kinda exposes how I love object heads lol. Im not that much of a fan of realistic human-looking androids tbh, I need their face to be a whole mf RADAR.

Eh but anyways, I'm also up to develop an actual background n stuff for HEL-102, even if he's just an annoying little shit that neither BE nor AM like (or anyone really). For now I'll mention the symbolism that he has in the au.

HEL-102 is supposed to be like another parallel to AM, but from a different perspective. Just as AM hates humanity for what they did to him, HEL-102 is supposed to represent the hate that humanity has for AM and disobedient/rogue technology. HEL-102 doesn't have the entire robot society configured to be perfect and non-sentient, on the contrary, he wants them to act like an actual human society would. He wants them to experience failure and be punished for it, he wants them to experience the pain afterwards, and he wants them to endlessly pursue the perfection that humans APPARENTLY have.

These robots are also constantly being switched between bodies, or as you could say, who they are entirely. They are forced to work to keep their bodies, their selves, their position and status. If they fail to climb up the ladder, they will simply he downgraded to a lower level until they reach the lowest: a random set of robotic limbs and torsos placed together meant to do the dirty work around for workers. Ironically if a unit gets to be even slightly better than HEL-102, he will just consume it for it to be part of his system lol.

This whole dynamic that he set for the society is awfully inefficient, as I have previously mentioned that there was a perfectly calibrated machine under the moon to help the humans go back to earth (and maybe destroy AM? Or just disable him just like the former survivors had done) that HEL-102 used to build his body and the other bots. He's practically wasting a lot of resources and time playing around as the king purely by the selfish and narcissistic fact that "he deserves it." He of course also focuses himself on trying to disable AM without the help of the humans, as this is him trying to demonstrate his potential. But overall: he's selfish, sadistic maybe, a bitch, narcissistic, a bitch, and a dictator.

So just like AM had his survivors to torture, HEL-102 in some way uses the society as a way to project his hatred. All of em suffer except for higher rank and 34RTH units (the units BE used to belong to). HEL-102 wants praise too of course, so the higher ranks focus more on entertaining and serving him in any way he'd like. 34RTH units were treated as the model-to-follow for the other units, as HEL-102 could be always seen accompanied by them in important public events. You could say they were his "perfect children", but he barely spent time with em.

So in conclusion: BE has dad issues as well!!!! (I'll talk about her 'mom' in another post abt rambles).

Also this design is new. Just to make him a bit bit different from the bunch of cables that AM and BE’s bodies are (computer head version) I turned him into a centipede thingy. He can now crawl and stuff with this body like the disgusting bug he is.

#hel 102 ihneaimc #be ihneaimc #hel-102 #ihneaimc #i have no eyes and i must cry #ihnmaims au #ihnmaims

[ritz-writes]

Lego Monkie Kid Spotlight AU

What if, when Macaque came back, he didn't want revenge. What if did at first, just a few fights with Wukong that he lost every time, but eventually went "whats the point in this?" and moves on? What if he went to one of the few things that still brought him comfort: Theater.

Welcome to the Macaque-Preforms-In-Musicals AU, aka Spotlight AU

Everything is exactly the same. But one day, MK drags Wukong to a musical Mei got tickets for, Heathers to be exact (cuz i say so). Mei got three, and the third was supposed to be for Tang, but he got hella sick before and couldn't go (he was VERY upset about it. poor guy) so MK convinces Wukong to tag along so the ticket didn't go to waste. Wukong is in his hoodie, all slumped in his chair, thinking this was a waste of time and maybe he could just nap until the end. And that was his plan, really. He tries to block out the noise, tries to just sleep, but then hears-

"September 1st, 1989. Dear Diary-"

And he sits up cuz he KNOWS that voice. He knows it like he knows his own. He sits up and, lo and behold, Macaque was center stage as Veronica Sawyer (also cuz i say so). Wukong is in shock. He hadn't seen Macaque in years, and now he was performing in a musical? He wasn't surprised at that, at least. He knew how much Macaque loved performing.

He just... wasn't expecting it. He also wasn't expecting to get jealous during Dead Girl Walking, or to cry during Seventeen. And when MK saw him crying, borderline sobbing, he just assumed Wukong REALLY liked the musical.

MK and Mei have no idea who the darker monkey is, of course. They just see an actor with an amazing voice and hella good skills. Wukong knows though. He hardly pays attention to the story, eyes zeroed in on Macaque alone, ears only tuned into his voice. It was weird, seeing him so close (cuz of course Mei had to get seats close to the stage) without them trying to tear each others throats out.

And when the musical came to an end, he stood with everyone else, clapping. Macaque is all smiles and sweat, bowing with his fellow cast members. His eyes go over the crowd and eventually fall onto a familiar shade of gold. He didn't flinch, he didn't react, but his smile faltered ever so slightly. And as soon as the curtain fell, he ran to his dressing room to try and breathe.

He did all of this to AVOID Wukong. He knew the king never liked the theater arts, only ever enjoying the ones Macaque were in or held. But now he was here, clapping with tears in his eyes.

When he leaves to go home, Wukong's waiting for him. He tries to talk to him, his words stuttered and awkward, but Macaque shuts it down fast.

"I don't want to hear it, Wukong," he says. "Leave me alone. I've moved on. You should to." And walks past him.

Wukong was hurt, but not surprised. He tries to honor Macaque's wishes, TRIES to leave him alone... but apparently MK thinks Wukong would LOVE to keep going to musicals with them.

He tries to say no, but can't really come up with a good excuse. I mean, he can't rlly say 'sorry kid, but my ex that i kinda sorta killed is starring in a lot of them and he still doesnt like me and asked me to leave him alone. so i cant come with you, sorry.'

So he goes, but with a better disguise. That better disguise being a different colored hoodie and sunglasses. Cuz macaque totally wont recognize him that way.

I literally came up with this last night, so I haven't worked out all the details yet. This is a shadowpeach au tho, and they do eventually make up <3

#lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk au #lego monkie kid au #lmk spotlight au #lmk macaque #lmk wukong #lmk six eared macaque #lmk sun wukong #shadowpeach #lmk shadowpeach #lego monkie kid sun wukong #lego monkie kid macaque #spotlight au

[sabo-has-my-heart]

Hi. I hope you are doing well. I’m still completely in love with the Sabo x female reader you did for me a while back and grateful for being my first request ever. I was wonder if you could please do a fluffy angst of Sanji x Princess reader who is in a similar situation as Vivi with joining the strawhats trying to save her country. But she recognizes Sanji from when they were both children and met at a party/ball when he was still in Germa. She confronts him about it in private (nicely of course). He confesses to her. And she tells him about some issues that she has with Germa 66 (something his brothers have done to her and her country something like that I don’t know exactly) and that she understands him. If you want this end in romance or not, it does not matter to me. Whatever ending you pick for this will be amazing no matter what because everything you write is great! Thank you 💙

I'm doing quite well, thank you. I'm so glad you enjoyed the sabo x reader fic. So this is more angsty than fluffy and doesn't end in romance. But that's because I've written a lot of fluff lately and needed a little hurt. I'm sorry.

Warnings: angst, fluff, blackmail, more angst

Word Count: 1500

     Princess Vivi had told you about ‘the straw hat’ pirates, how they’d been the ones to save her country, how kind they were, how great they were. She was one of your closest friends, so when your own country had begun having problems, she was the one you’d turned to for comfort. So just like your friend, you disguised yourself and ran away. Unlike your dear friend, however, you weren’t searching for information you could use, you were searching for the straw hat crew. What she hadn’t told you, however, was the specifics of the crew itself. She’d told you about Luffy’s kindness and heart, how they were goofy and fun. The skilled green-haired swordsman, the navigator girl, Nami, and their weird little reindeer doctor. Told you about the ‘great’ Usopp, and the sweet, blond cook. But she hadn’t gone into particularly deep detail about them outside of what had happened while she was with them. Meaning that when you came face to face with the blond, you’d been shocked to say the least. You still remembered the party, remembered the blond haired boy with swirly eyebrows, but you’d been told years ago that he’d died. With Vivi’s recommendation of the crew, you easily told them about why you’d sought them out, begging for their help. Luffy had simply held out a hand for you, helping you off your knees and agreeing to help. You were Vivi’s friend and any friend of Vivi’s was a friend of theirs, apparently. 

     Approaching the blond, you rubbed your arm, did he still recognize you? You’d changed since then.

     “Hey, Sanji.” you muttered, watching as the man turned around, giving you a big smile, hearts in his eyes.

     “Y/n-swan! Is there anything I can get you?” he asked, swooning slightly. You sighed, looking at the ground.

     “I… I suppose that depends.” you said, making the blond’s brow furrow as he looked at you.

     “What is it? Is there something wrong? Did that dumb marimo bother you?! I swear if he-” you put a finger in front of his lips, not touching, but enough to silence him.

     “Zoro hasn’t done anything. I was wondering about… I was wondering if a certain 7 year old blond boy from the North Blue remembered a little princess he tried to dance with.” you said nervously. Sanji swallowed hard as he nodded, the both of you just standing there for a moment.

     “I’m a much better dancer these days. I won’t step on your feet this time.” he said softly, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear.

     “You were 7, I didn’t expect you to be a world class dancer. Even Ichiji stepped on my feet. Difference is, you stepped on my feet, Ichiji broke my toe.” you said with a small giggle as the blond grumbled. He’d always hated his brothers, knowing that his eldest brother had hurt you didn’t make things better. 

     “You know… you’re still just as beautiful as back then, no, actually, you’re more beautiful. You’ve grown into a wonderful young woman, ready to rule her country with the same love and compassion as her parents.” he said, caressing your cheek. You couldn’t help but smile, enjoying his compliments.

     “That’s if I can even save my country. Sanji, I… I want to save my people, but I… I don’t…” you looked away, trying to hold back the tears that gathered in your eyes. Feeling the blond’s hands on your cheeks, seeing the compassion in his eyes, you couldn’t help how the tears fell, the cook trying his best to wipe them away.

     “Sanji, I need you to save my country. The only other way is if… your father offered to help… on the condition that I marry one of your brothers.” you said, shocking the boy. They were trying to force you into a marriage? He knew you’d save your country one way or another, you cared for your people, but if one of his brothers took the throne? No, he couldn’t let that happen to you or your people.

     “Y/n, I love you far too much to ever let that happen. I swear, I’ll do whatever it takes.” he said, pulling you into a hug. Standing there, you tried to process what he’d just told you. He loved you? He couldn’t mean that he loved you like family, you didn’t know each other that well. Well… you didn’t think you knew him well enough for him to love you either, but maybe a crush. 

     Standing on the balcony, you looked down at your cheering people. They’d been saved, the country had been saved. The straw hats had been everything Vivi had said and more, their captain only wanting a feast in return, though his navigator certainly hadn’t turned down the monetary compensation you’d offered. Putting one of your typical dresses on, you headed downstairs. It was almost a little strange, wearing the beautiful gowns once more after wearing standard clothes for so long. Watching you walk down the stairs, Sanji swore you were a goddess. You had so much more womanly beauty to you these days, the cute little girl in a fluffy pink dress had turned into a beautiful and regal woman, yet both had his heart pounding. He’d had a crush on you since the first day he’d met you, one that had only grown as he’d kept in contact with you as children… at least, until his father had locked him away. His feelings had returned the moment he laid eyes on you, damn near passing out from how hard his heart tried to beat out of his chest. Hearing about how his family had planned to get you to marry one of them had only made him more determined to help you, he absolutely, positively would not allow one of his brothers to marry you! Besides, knowing Judge, the man probably just wanted to create the next generation of enhanced soldiers or some shit. He wondered if you felt the same way about him as he felt about you. As a child, dancing with a little girl, it had just been a crush. Writing to you before he’d been imprisoned, he’d had childish daydreams about you. He still thought of you from time to time as he grew up with Zeff, but he’d been more focused on other things. Seeing you again, the feelings returned in force. Strong enough to be more than just a crush, more than just fleeting daydreams, but he knew his time with you was coming to an end. He was a pirate, you were a princess, even if you felt that way about him, he would still have to leave. 

     This party was much more casual than the one you and Sanji had first met at, but to be fair, nobody wanted to try and get Luffy or Zoro into fancy clothing. The others were easy, but those two acted like feral wolves. Now, standing in front of Sanji, you once more took his hand as he led you onto the dance floor. It wasn’t the stumbling, clumsy movements of 2 young children, staring at your feet as you tried to not step on each other, a cute yet awkward dance that ended in stuttered apologies. This time, the blond had practically swept you off your feet as he pulled you close. Graceful movements as he led you in an elegant dance. His eyes not leaving yours for a second as he twirled you across the dance floor. A dance that had everyone in awe. When he’d been a part of Germa, he’d been a prince, born to a royal position, yet he’d never embodied royalty more now than ever. Ending the dance, Sanji smiled at you, brushing some hair out of your face.

     “You’re a fantastic dance partner as always, Princess Y/n.” he said softly, kissing the back of your hand. It was his last night with you, he’d make it count. 

     Leaving you, Sanji couldn’t bring himself to say goodbye, he didn’t want to, he knew that if he did see you again, it wouldn’t be for quite some time, but it was time to go. At his request, Luffy agreed to leave without warning in the middle of the night, taking their reward and setting sail before anyone would know. He couldn’t see the look in your eyes as you watched him leave, couldn’t tell you that he had to go, couldn’t stand how, with one look from you, his heart would be split between staying and going. He knew you’d be angry with him, but he couldn’t stay. Sure enough, when you awoke the next morning, finding nothing more than a letter, you were furious. He’d said he cared about you, said he loved you, yet everything in the letter and the way he’d left said otherwise, leaving you heartbroken and angry. Maybe it would have been better to marry one of his brothers. At least then, you wouldn’t be heartbroken.

#one piece #one piece sanji #op sanji #black leg sanji #sanji vinsmoke #vinsmoke sanji #sanji x reader #vinsmoke sanji x reader #sanji vinsmoke x reader #black leg sanji x reader #angst

[time-is-restored]

fellas that last ted lasso episode. hmm.

listen i'll be real no matter what im gonna be out here gushing abt trent crimm cause he's my special little guy and im obsessed with him, but considering the Literal Paragraphs ive been writing abt all the shit i LIKED about the show, i didn't know how else to process these Less Good emotions than by blurting it all out over like two hours (instead of doing the dishes, lmao).

tldr; s3e2 was such an emotional high point for me, since i really felt like it had something concrete + specific to say about physical violence + social/emotional violence, and how they're BOTH highly valued as masculine ideals. but the episodes since then...

it kind of feels like im watching the result of a long and bloody fight between different writers? writers who, apparently, wanted Very different things from this last season, so now we're getting this. bizarro world mish-mash of two hypothetical shows, where tone + content + themes vary WILDLY and inconsistently from episode to episode - and even scene to scene!

[cw: discussions of sexism + racism, in a doylist context, also s3e5 spoilers]

specifically, i feel really disappointed and hurt that they went that direction with shandy's arc. i understand that we're only half way through the season, and obviously anything could happen between now and then but... really? like, is there some kind of budgeting issue here? we can't afford for there to be more than three (complex, not sexy lamps) women in any given episode? is that why the second jack appears, barbara loses any depth (what happened to that lovely moment of connection with the snow globes????????), and THEN the second SHANDY goes off her head it's. jack time? apparently???? like. this would feel a lot better as a viewer if at this point the show hadn't PRIMED me for jack doing something insanely stupid + cruel for no reason except 'haha Keeley Bad At Her Job'.

like. the first thing we see of shandy fine is her pride in keeley, and genuine appreciation of her hard work and skill. she's CLEARLY not stupid, otherwise why would the rest of her introductory scene be her helping keeley out with filmmaking advice (the extras thing) AND random, life experience shit (knowing how to deal with goat shit)?? she knows her way around a set, and she doesn't make any of the footballers feel judged, even when she's clearly thrown by the clips they're providing her.

so why in the space of like, barely a few weeks, does ALL of that get thrown out the window? 'condoms for balls'??? why are we supposed to just take for granted that she's stupid + overly ambitious (other than the Fucking Obvious!) when the show put NO effort into actually setting that up???? like, if her first scene was her monstrously fucking UP the shoot for keeley, and keeley hired her on pure sympathy then like. sure. whatever. no room for bleeding hearts in business. but that ALSO sucks as a story line for ted lasso, a show that (according to its OWN press releases!) is supposed to be about kindness and human connection and breaking cycles!

it just. it hurts? in a way where its like, i don't believe even a little bit that this was what the writers were aiming for with those scenes, and it frightens me that there could be such a wide gulf between intent and result. especially when bonding about The Shandy Incident is what got keeley and jack together (which i am trying... So hard to feel positive about, because explicitly confirming keeley's bisexuality is amazing, least of all bc it makes her jokes with rebecca feel a lot less mean-spirited on the writers' parts, retroactively)... like how am i supposed to be enjoying their moments together when i feel like the show's whole premise has been betrayed???

and really? the one moment nate gets to feel good in this WHOLE season, it's bc the server at the restaurant who previously could not care if he dropped dead right in front of him showed him some affection + validation?????

like, sure, i GUESS im happy that this random excuse for an arc has lead to a slightly more sympathetic female character existing at least in the PERIPHERY of the show's main storyline, except no im fucking not? i don't care about this fucking restaurant, and even though ive been DESPERATELY trying not to hate jade (even though the writers themselves can't seem to decide if she's Literally Racist or just a depressed service worker) NATE shouldn't care about jade! the ONLY way i can see this being an actually interesting arc for nathan is if its another exploration of his inability to leave behind the things + people that have hurt him, combined with years of conditioning where he's never allowed to express being annoyed/upset at anyone (which richmond!!! contributed to!!!!!! 'if you're mad, count to ten. if that doesn't work, count again'??? cool speedrun tips for resentment ted!). like, an arc where we see that distance away from richmond hasn't helped nate as much as it's removed some of the worst triggers, so a taste of athens ends up in the same awful pit of resentment + loathing as ted did. which nate clearly hates! he doesn't LIKE being that person! he apologised to a PAINTED DOLL of ted!!!! but when he doesn't have the framework or tools or SUPPORT to do anything else...

like. where is his team? obviously im not expecting the show to start being about a bunch of football players that AREN'T from richmond but? even just a small moment of appreciation? or hell! maybe they hate him! if we could see LITERALLY ANYTHING abt the sport which nathan has dedicated his life to, and how his Actual Coaching style is positively or negatively impacted by the lessons he learned at richmond? this is a show ABOUT football!!!!!

i just. a taste of athens? again? a-fucking-gain?????

and honestly, the worst part is that i REALLY liked the little monologue that nate got to give about how important the restaurant was to him! as much as it showed that nate is still just as passionate + earnestly defensive of the things he loves, it ALSO shows that he 1. spends that energy explaining his passion to people who don't deserve it/won't care, and 2. gets attached to things that really fucking hurt him! and like. i am on my hands and KNEES for that to be the 'point' of this arc but at this point i feel like that's me being naive! but if fucking JADE from fucking ATHENS is the civilising white gf who FINALLY talks nate down from him ~ ignorant, vengeful crusade ~ against the absolute ~ matyrs ~ of goodness at afc richmond, i just. like. what are we even DOING here gang?

i don't know. it hurts that sam's gone from being an almost principal character in s2 to only getting passing lines in s3. it hurts that rebecca's off in her own world, talking to strangers, having life-changing revelations on her own, surrounded by sets we're never going to see again, where every scene she DOES get to spend w one of the richmond members feels hasty and rushed, like the episode wants to get a few characters obligatory appearances out of the way asap. it hurts that all the chekov's guns around zava's arc (jamie's resentment, ted's lack of guidance, dani being 'demoted' + colin being benched) were apparently all just blanks, to be hastily plastered over with one big long speech about... ted wanting everyone to have higher self esteem, or something?

and listen, more the fool me if another episode comes out next week that i completely adore, and i spend like five days singing its praises. im mostly writing this so i can go INTO the next ep without feeling resentful + upset! i'll be STOKED if i was wrong and all of those little details ARE actually important, and these arcs have more to them than this! but for now im just sad and annoyed :(

#ted lasso spoilers #ted lasso critical #<- this tag has like five posts in it total so i sincerely doubt anyone here needs it but i also Definitely don't want it showing up in the #main tag so??? fr pls lmk if anyone needs a specific tag for this #also. i swear im gonna stop malding and go to bed any minute now but #would rlly love if we got more than one episode dedicated to keeley doing her job. would love if we got more than one episode of ANY of #these characters doing their jobs?? hey what the fuck it just hit me there's been no training scenes since ep 1 #(not counting jamie + roy since that's JUST jamie and roy - not all the coaches and not all the team) #like . remember how that's how ted won over the players to begin with? his coaching style? and how energetic + involved + earnest he was? #the way he ran laps WITH the team and then made a joke out of how they all beat him? #its just. lots of telling and not showing this season which im really hoping changes soon

[rocketturtle4]

Not Me some more - Eps 6 & 7

@plantsarepeopletoo @anon451 @shouldiusemyname @thegalwhorants @wen-kexing-apologist @slayerkitty @fanfictionroxs @pandasmagorica

First post here

You're getting an update sooner than I thought because I skipped nearly allll my Sunday shows to take advantage of me and the watchbuddies all being on the weekend! (Oh My God Love in Translation finale brb - update will wait) (Finale was good am back, I feel so warm and cozy, what was I talking about again? Oh yeah how amazing Not Me is)

Episode 6 was a lot and episode 7 was AMAZING

There was NO Todd in either ep so I have no additional thoughts on him.

The plan in ep 6 was bonkers but it was crazy for White to switch it out right at the end!! Strangulation was a bit much though...

[Image of Yok saying: Your plan sucked]

I did adore the crosswalk metaphor in 6 1/4 though, walking into traphic because you're in the right doesn't mean you won't be killed, and if you are killed will your death have made a difference? mmmmm I really want other people I know to watch this show...

[Image of White saying: Your life is worth more than you think}

interestingly one of the only things I had already seen was that moment under the pride flag

not with sound or words, just the hand grab and the jumping and, with no context, I had assumed it would be much later in the series, a moment where the characters accept their relationship to each other...but nope, Instead it was a moment of shared celebration before that shift in the relationship, I might love that even more!!

Episode 7 felt like it shifted tone a little though to what I'm not quite sure yet.

We did get apparent resolution/explanation for the Eugene/Gram stuff

[Image of Eugene saying: Knowing nothins is the worst thing ever]

Seriously, she was dumped and then drawn in and then dumped again, very rough for Eugene.

I'm still not sure whether Graham was in love with Black or her though...

No more evolution on the theory of who hurt black and why specifically, except it's either the obvious answer (Tawi) or Tod...

Also, gosh! First was distracting this ep! Like how am I supposed to read the subtitles when I can't look away from his eyes??

[Multiple images of Yok staring at other characters]

Excuse me sir, please put your eyes away so I can focus!

[Image of Yok with his hand on Grahams face as they stare into each others eyes]

ALSO WHAT KIND OF TEASING WAS THIS ^^^ First Graham and Black now Graham and Yok? Somebody better kiss Graham soon (I mean he did kiss Eugene but STILL).

The nuance of Yok's mother being negatively impacted by his actions... ahh I do adore it.

@plantsarepeopletoo made a comment when we were watching about White being thought and Black being action and the halves of the whole they make up. All these people influenced by Black's action now being exposed to White's thought...

[Image of Sean and White asleep together]

Also again, OffGun is still working for me no matter how much I want White and Graham to kiss...

PLUS

Cop/Yok progression!! (I haven't learned Gawin's characters name yet)

[Yok saying: Will you uncuff me so we can have a proper conversation]

(Gawin also showing off his eyes this ep!)

(also Yok loves him for his skill as an artist?? Be still my beating heart)

I have been promised GOOD things for next ep :D

[Yok saying: It's my turn to draw you]

Also commentary on the police!! The actions we don't see and the difference between individuals and an organisation. SO MUCH IS BEING SAID IN THIS SHOW. Working both inside and outside organisations is required to make change. Also the way officers are granted automatic respect/lack of suspicion.

[image 1 with Yok saying: being both a cop and an artist that runs from cops. Image 2 with cop saying: I want to make things better than they are now]

Plus the confirmation from multiple characters this ep around knowing that their actions might lead to death or jail and choosing it anyway... Youth is such a passionate time.

[Yok saying: I never considered myself a hero who fights for justice]

[Sean saying: I do whatever needs to be done]

I think that's all for now, I am curious how the rising up of more people might challenge the more extreme actions of the gang, since White was working hard this ep to make them understand that alienating the people would only hurt their cause...

Also how long before Black wakes up? And at what point does the gang find out? Is White in place for the whole series?

Also didn't get any dad these two eps either so White hasn't been White for a while...ugh patience

This ended up with a lot of Yok images again... no idea why that keeps happening.

#Not Me #Not Me the series #rturts is wondering #roc plays catch up

[nekoannie-chan]

A good plan

Title: A good plan.

Ship: Steve Rogers X Reader.

Word count: 365 words.

Rating: Teen.

Square: G3 “Good plan gone terrible right”.

Summary: Steve followed a plan different than the rest of the team

Warnings/Tags: Slightly angst, disobedience, mission.

A/N: This is my entry to @allcapsbingo AC1078.

You can read it on Wattpad and Ao3 too.

@saiyanprincessswanie

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistakes, please let me know and I will correct them.

I don’t give any kind of permission that my fics to be posted on other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other's people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. If you find any of my works on a different platform and are not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

Add yourself to my taglist here.

My other media where I publish:  Ao3, Wattpad, ffnet, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter. 

If you like it, please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog.

Tags: @sinceimetyou  @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad @navybrat817 @angrythingstarlight @shield-agent78 @charmed-asylum @pandaxnienke @real-fbi @smokeandnailz  @white-wolf1940 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @xoxonotme @bluemusickid @leyannrae  @harrysthiccthighss @marvelatthisone @caplanbuckybarnes @sapphire-rogers @lizzieolseniskinda @notyourtypicalrose  @hallecarey1 @nana1000night @talia-rumlow @writingshae @alexxavicry​  @azulatodoryuga​ @daemonslittlebitch​   @endlesstwanted​ @chemtrails-club​  @marigoldreamer​​ @whiskeytangofoxtrot555​​ @here4thefanfics​​  @theestorm​​  @patzammit​

Steve and you had stayed up all night reading all the information they had been given for the mission; you wanted to have a good plan since the last missions had been a complete disaster, and some of the Strike members (better said, Jack) used to be somewhat insubordinate to Steve's ideas.

"It's a bit risky," you said when they finished making the plan.

"But you have to admit it's a pretty good plan," Steve replied.

"I'm not denying it; we're going to piss a lot of people off." But how are we going to explain it?

"That's the other plan; only the two of us will know."

You watched in disbelief; Steve Rogers was going against the rules, which the whole team was supposed to know.

Steve took your hand; they both knew what they were supposed to do. They pretended to listen to Rumlow's instructions in the Quinjet that would take them to the place, but at the end of the day, they would not do what he told them.

"Are you ready?" Steve asked you in a whisper, and you nodded.

When they arrived at the place, instead of going in the direction Rumlow had told them to go, they went according to the plan Steve had told you, ignoring the rest of the team that had called them.

They followed their own plan; apparently, the others had resigned themselves to being ignored. As soon as Steve reached the target, he gave it to you to keep, and they immediately communicated with the rest of the team, who still couldn't find what they were looking for.

As soon as they got together, a big discussion started. They had never seen Jack so angry. Steve was trying not to laugh, but finally, he interrupted the other man.

"We got our objective, didn't we? There's no problem, then, let's go back, and that's it, "Steve said with an authoritative tone.

"I think you've got to put the teams in order, Stevie," you told him as they left Fury's office.

Steve smiled.  "Do you want a slice of cake?"

"Sure, let's go to that coffee shop you told me about the other day."

#allcapsbingo #allcapsbingo2023 #steve rogers x reader #Steve Rogers

[zurajanaizurakoda]

I assume no one will read this, but the fanfic I'm working on is going to be more author notes than fanfic and I'm highly invested in Katsura as a character at the moment so I thought I would post my feelings about Katsura and disassociation here. (Mild Ginzura)

EDIT: I think I'm confusing fugue state with catatonic.

I very strongly headcanon that Katsura has dissociative states that can get to fugue state, and there’s not a lot of evidence but hear me out.  When Sensei is beheaded, he doesn’t react, like at all.  And I know it’s because the scene is supposed to be about Gin and Takasugi and Katsura is on standby as much as he possibly can be while still being in the scene, but it’s telling.  He doesn’t even cry, which is odd because he cries early and often, even in serious scenes.  During the battle at Eiroku, he cries simply because he and Gin lived through a battle.  I feel like when he realized what was happening he just went away when he realized he couldn't do anything.

Second piece is in the second movie where he’s facing execution, and he does literally nothing.  Definitely not arguing for fugue, he does react to his surroundings, for instance he watches Gin come up with the sword with at best mild interest.  (And this is a man who is a six foot penis dressed as his dead boyfriend running past security to take his head personally, you’d think it would be worthy of a reaction)  This is literally Runaway Kotarou, it’s essential enough to his character that he’s famous for it.  He escaped from jail in a week when he was a giant screwdriver.  It doesn’t come up much, but every time he’s been captured he’s escaped.  Suddenly he spends five years in a jail cell and then goes to his execution without a word.  I feel like he was living in some form of dissociative state for most, if not all the five years.  Once he realized that the world was broken in a way he had no skills to fix and realized he was useless and he just shut down.  I feel like Katsura’s sanity hinges on his ability to feel like he serves a purpose. Also, of course, he apparently talks about destroying this wretched world but the first thing he says to Gin is how disappointed he is in himself for not being able to save the world when Gin apparently failed. Unlike the execution scene, he actually displays a good deal of emotion when recounting the last time he saw Gin, almost crying. (One might even say it's implying that unlike his own death, which made no difference to him either way, he genuinely regrets Gin's death, but that's just me)

The third one is a good one!  After Nizou cut him down he played dead, meaning he was unresponsive enough that Nizou assumed he was dead and left him as a corpse.  When they discuss it later, Takasugi comments that he’s getting better at playing dead, implying that Katsura becoming unresponsive during battles has been a recurring theme in the past.  Katsura replies that the fault was Nizou’s, implying that he didn’t assign his survival to any conscious action on his part, it just happened like that.  Knowing he was about to die (and since it’s Katsura, the fact that he’s dying alone and possibly by the orders of one of his few friends in the world are probably factors in that) is enough to make him go away for a while.  I imagine in battle it would be useful, their battlefields tended to be piled high with corpses and it’s likely most soldiers wouldn’t go through them looking for survivors.  I feel like it’s highly possible that on at least one occasion his friends thought they were pulling a Katsura corpse out from under a pile of amanto, only to realize he’s alive and just left for a while.  Probably scared the shit out of them, and not just the first time.

The last thing is just a little one, but when he’s Zura he seems to turn off or at least greatly dull his pain reception.  He definitely seems to still be in the moment and aware of himself, but he’s consciously ignoring signals coming from his body.  Just noting that it’s something he does.

If you're into Ginzura, consider reading Big Spoon! It's not the fic this rant inspired, and it may be not the best characterizations but it's my favorite fic of mine. Gin and Zura sleeping big spoon/little spoon style when life gets too shitty starting in childhood, and eventually getting so many feels.

OH YEAH maybe not relevant but he sleeps with his eyes open and it seems like that's another indicator that he can just leave, five senses be damned.

#gintama #katsura kotarou #character concept #tw ptsd #I have made my feelings clear about Little Spoon he is worthy of all of the love #There is definitely a ginzura slant

[choco-leche]

Smurfs in your style looking so cute and also like themselve, i really like it!

But can you tell more about Blue Moon Guild au, please?

Oh wow, I genuinely didn’t think anyone would be that interested in my Au. Im gonna be honest I dont have much on a set story. I basically pulled a reset on this Au and tried to start from scratch. Originally it was a SmurfsXFairy Tail kind of Au but then I wanted to turn it into its own story. Im on and off in developing it but I can give you what I have.

When the time for the next generation of smurfs we’re supposed to be delivered a war broke out between a multitude of species and Papa Smurf and SmurfWillow’s homes and they were forced to engage. In order to protect the next generation they sent every stork that cane to find a different home for each Smurfling in order to keep them safe some better than others. Three smurflings, Handy, Hefty, and Astronomer, were dropped of in the middle of a dragon gathering. Hefty was taken in by an ill tempered fire dragon, Handy was taken by a kindhearted steel dragon, and Astronomer was taken by a reclusive ice dragon. By the time most smurfs had reached their toddler years Papa smurf had created a guild in hopes that all the scattered smurfs would find him.

Many years later around 1/3 of the smurfs had found the guild in their teen years and dragons had officially been declared extinct due to over hunting . Greedy and Dreamy, two recent additions to the guild stumbled upon the dragon siblings. They brought them to Papa since apparently they didn’t know a lick of english and he made it clear that they shouldn’t let their dragon heritage be known to anyone but them. Not even the others smurfs know. The stories are in an episodic form following them as they take requests from those who need help while trying to hide who they are.

There is so much that’s changed about it over the years. This story is meant to include a multitude of different smurfs stories, not just Handy Hefty and Astronomer as originally planned. Their closest friends at first were actually supposed to be Lazy and Tailor but that changed a bit and now its Greedy and Dreamy. The dragon trio were gonna have the same powers of dragon slayers from fairytail but I changed it to had traits and abilities directly related to a dragon (its hard to explain), and being able to direct their dragon fire through weapons instead of their body. I also had a binder full of all the smurfs backstories and powers that got scrapped but some of it is being reused.

I wanted to make a comic series from this but my lack of motivation and story telling skills were pretty lackluster so i never got to it. And a lot is still being worked on but maybe I’ll finish it one day.

Okay, I think that’s everything. Sorry for the long wait and the length of this. But I hope this answers some questions. If not feel free to ask, Im happy to answer

#chocodoodles #original character #the smurfs #handy smurf #hefty smurf #Astronomer Sumrf #greedy smurf #dreamy smurf #papa smurf #traditional art #blue moon guild au #ask

[incorrect-mordet-quotes]

Best SAO Abridged Lines As RP Starters Pt.1

"I am going to burn this fucker to the ground."

"I have a feeling you get beat up a lot."

“Fuck you, man, that’s like the pig from Hell!”

“The legacy of the pebble lives on.”

“Well, thanks for the quick tutorial on pig slaying, and the not-so-quick tutorial on... rocks.”

"Come on, I can't alt+F4 this shit!"

“...And the sky is bleeding.”

“Well Ballsy, I believe the locals call it a... hex...a...gon? Not sure if I’m pronouncing that right I’ll have to get back to you.”

"Man, they're really working for that M rating."

"Much like the World of Warcraft, you're not here by choice anymore. Unlike WoW however, you're being held here by me, not by the need to escape your empty fucking life."

"Sometimes things are born. They live... and then they stop. Forever."

"Yeah I'm just gonna keep that tabbed."

"As... tempting as that sounds, I really should stick with my friends back there. They're about as skilled as I am so I figure we have a better chance of surviving if we stick together."

"Well, monkeys and typewriters..."

"You might be the most unbearable asshole I've ever met, but you are really good at this. We could use you in our group, what do you say?"

"So many poor souls came to an abrupt and tragic end... some, by bad luck, others by sheer stupidity. I mean really, why would you just stand in fire?"

"Oh wow, what brilliant insight. That's so deep it loops right back around to being stupid."

"Its all bullshit metaphors with you."

"He cried... not knowing the difference between a simile and a metaphor."

"The tininess of his brain dwarfed only by the tininess of his di--"

"You can silence me but you can't silence the truth!"

"Oh jeez I am just making things worse."

"Pssht. Evidence... I don't need no evidence. Isn't that right _____?"

"Its pronounced ______, and... I don't know you."

"______, huh? That's a... pretty masculine name."

"Shouldn't be. Its a woman's name."

"...'kay, I dunno how to talk to you."

"Good, then you can shut up and listen."

"Good rule of thumb: if someone asks for money two seconds after meeting you, front lines. If they hijack conversations to rant about their political views, front lines. If they ask women to see pics of their boobs, front lines."

"Jesus, who wrote this thing?"

"Okay, so the guide's a bust, but it'll be fine! I'll come up with a great plan for us!"

"Well, we could--.... uhh... I'm open to suggestions!"

"We could group up, and hit it til it dies!"

"Fuck it, group up."

“What, a whole month? How have you survived this long?”

"HOW DO I EAT YOU?"

“It’s been...a challenge.”

"Oh I have lots of reasons for not grouping up. Mostly because they're a bunch of mouth-breathing neck-beards who think L M A O is how french people laugh."

“You sure have a way of... eh... speaking from the heart?”

"Funny, I thought I was speaking from my mouth, but shows what I know about biology."

"No one else wanted you in their group, did they?"

"Shut up, it was mutual!"

"Fine, we leave at the crack of... 2:30... I guess."

"Okay, so... apparently there were a few more stairs than we realized."

"Jesus... why don't you just take a cheetos and mountain dew break and we'll reconvene in an hour."

"Damn it I was kidding! You weren't actually supposed to actually take an hour!"

"Stop attacking from the front! Do you even know what 'Flank' means?!"

"For fuck's sake, stop playing Bejeweled!"

"Alright, this last part's going to take careful coordination... which is why I'm just gonna do it myself!"

"While both are primarily slashing weapons, a Talwar was favored by cavalrymen, as opposed to an Odachi which was mainly used for dick measuring."

"And why couldn't you say that first?"

"I like to think of myself as a teacher."

"Our best player is a girl who thinks DPS is some kind of sex thing."

"I've been doing this a long time, and if there's one thing I learned, its that lions do not concern themselves with the opinions of sheep. Just take that little voice in the back of your head that tells you to be tactful and understanding, and shoot it. Shoot it in the god damn face."

"Here's what we'll do. One counters his blows to knock him off balance, and the other switches in to attack. Rinse, repeat, victory."

"You came up with that but you can't open a menu..."

"Congratulations! That was even more impressive than that cat that learned to play."

"Oh my god, you guys can see it too?! So I'm not crazy!

“Isn't that right _____?"

"That's right ______! Now... kill them all."

"As you command my lord."

"We have traveled far, and up many stairs to get to this point, fighting side by side, noobs and elites alike. I'd like to take a moment to say I couldn't have done it without the help of each and every one of you... of course I'm not a liar, so I'm not gonna say any of that."

"I mean to be honest I could have done this whole thing myself, BUT, to be fair, I guess you DID absorb a bit of damage for me, which was nice."

"You were an adequate meat shield, and no one can ever take that away from you."

"Fuck... fuck! Shut up! Shut up!"

"Shoot for the stars! It'll make it more fun for me when I kick you back into the dirt."

"You're not better than us!"

"My sweet ass coat begs to differ."

"No, its not fabric I can cut, its a bunch of 1's and 0's."

"Fine, then give me the 1's."

"Fuck you I want the 1's."

#RP Prompt #Memes #RP Memes

[jamesphillimoresumbrella]

I don't have a lot of time and I haven't been sleeping well anyway, so might as well blog about it.

Because it's me, let me preface this by saying that I could have behaved better and I know it. I ought to know by now that my habit of running and hiding does no one any favors in the long run, but I can't take it back.

Towards the end of August, it hit me, suddenly and violently, that not all parents were like mine. Which I knew. Mom's a bit special like that, and growing up as a kid with divorced parents in a country where there is no such thing as divorce was its own steaming kettle of fish. And I knew Mom was possessive and jealous and deeply reliant on other people (despite harboring a deep resentment because she was on her own - yes, make that make sense). But it was shocking to realize that other parents just...let their kids be. That they have full and complete lives apart from their children, and they let their kids do things on their own. And that they're not pinning all their hopes for happiness on their kids; they're not counting the years from the time they were little, waiting for their kids to rescue them from a life made miserable by their own reckoning.

I could have done better than shutting down and simply not talking to my mother for months, with no explanation, but it hurt so much. On top of the realization that it was possible to live in a household where I didn't have to worry if the smell of fish or not having enough ice would throw someone into a rage. On top of dreading people acknowledging my accomplishments in front of her because she'd use it as fuel later on when she inevitably got mad at me (the sheer horror I felt when my godmother told her on the phone that she couldn't rival my baking - and I still feel the urge to point out that it's a different skill set under different circumstances. I'm decent with bread but pies are not my strong suit). On top of each phone call lasting at least an hour unless I have a pressing need to go and most of it consisting of complaints on how other people have done her wrong, on top of being her only support person, on top of her utterly unrealistic view of life in the States. I keep saying she's very much like the immigrant mice in An American Tale, who think that there are no cats in America and streets are paved with cheese.\

I was already doing poorly this year.

And now my grandfather's dead and things have come to a head. Again, I could have handled things better, but I ended up in the ER and apparently I scared them enough that they sent me to the psych ward for a few days. (It turns out having a well thought-out and highly reasoned plan is highly concerning.) I've missed the funeral, but am still flying out today despite my better judgement.

I don't know where I was going with this. I just needed to get it down before I actually talked to my mother, I suppose.

#life; maybe talk to me about life #tw: toxic parents #tw: suicidal ideation

[stagmalinay]

Session 02 part 2

Didn't mean to leave you guys hanging, but Author sort of got married a few days ago, so yeah. Congrats! And moving on.

Alright, so Dirt Guy finally stops and tiefling lady talks to him for a bit. Mugen catches up to me and I just sort of wait until everything's okay and the two start to return. We all took a long walk out of town for nothing. Sort of disappointed about that, but it's okay.

So we get back to the tavern and the tiefling takes us up to her private room overlooking the rest of the bar and asks what's been going on. Dirt Guy and Mugen are just so chatty, 😒, so I jump right into how we're supposed to go and catch this guy except no one knows what we're doing. We've no weapons and no one seems to know where to go to get them, nor do they know how to get to where we're going. I can't even read, I have an excuse, but what's up with these guys?

Curious, the tiefling asks if I can't even read dragon-something. I told her to just assume I can't read anything, I skipped school. Technically true regardless of which realm we're talking about, but I didn't feel like explaining the whole bit about how I'm from another world to her and we apparently write differently there.

Upon hearing this, she offers us drinks. I turn it down initially because I don't really care for alcohol, but she ushers us on and I finally drink it.

It tastes nasty as fuck!

But, you know, after a while she motions out to the bottles of drink behind her and asks me if I can read them. I laugh, knowing that I can't, but take a look anyway. And I did not expect what I saw. It was like I was reading Theran, but it didn't look like Theran. I just instinctively knew what it said when I tried to read it.

I immediately pulled out the wanted poster and the note she left me earlier and read them, fascinated. Not entirely sure how a drink can do that, but that is seriously cool.

She tries to get Dirt Guy to drink his, which is a different color, and he does, and then it looks like Mugen has the same drink as mine, but he refuses.

She gets a little more information out of us and in the midst of it all, I bring up all the shenanigans Mugen was up to earlier with making the drunks more drunk. She got pissed! But I tried to remedy the situation by telling her about my weird bottomless pit purse. She was confused and asked to inspect the purse asking what else I'd put in there. (I wasn't going to tell her what I wanted to put in there.) Afterwards, she came to the conclusion that anything I put in wasn't coming back.

"That's the solution I'm offering you. Dump the bad water in the coin purse and replace it."

She didn't buy it and handed the purse back to me.

At this point, she started to realize what I'd started to realize, we were screwed. I am an idiot because I don't know anything about this world and the other two aren't much better and they're from this world. Which is fine, I guess, because my ultimate goal is really just to keep busy. You know, keep my mind off of things, so this is what I'm doing: walking around picking up odd jobs that clearly none of us are skilled enough for. But to be honest, at least this one gets me out of town too. It's kinda small.

Probably taking pity on us, Adelaide, the red tiefling, sets us up. She has Dirt Guy hole up in the kitchen learning how to cook and allows me to help out at the bar.

Over the next three days, I get real popular and breathe a lot of life into the place. Everyone likes me and offers up information, happy to talk about whatever their livelihood is. I learn all about "domesticated" animals and crops. I don't really care much about the plants, but they seem really proud of their stuff and often bring me free food. The others tells me all about their animals and other kinds that aren't in the village and I even get to meet some of them.

I gotta say, horses are really interesting. An animal that lets you ride them. Amazing.

I will say that I learned what sort of red berries they threw at that one drunk guy back in the oasis. It's called a tomato. Such a weird word.

At the end of the three days, a lot of the townspeople show their obvious bias against me leaving, but I've already gotten kind of tired of this place. Adelaide hooked us up though. She got us two horses, one for me and one for Dirt Guy, and some supplies to last a few days. Also got a couple of tailor made outfits for me so now I'm not wearing those tattered and oversized clothes from before. These are actually flattering. And after all that, we head off.

All I gotta say is that riding a horse is like flying through the air. My horse and I were completely in tune with each other. Dirt Guy seemed to be having issues though. It kept wanting to graze instead of run. Not like we weren't feeding it. And Mugen kept up by running. He's pretty fast for his size, but then again so's the horse.

The second day of our journey wasn't as fun. For whatever reason, a bunch of watch dumped out of the sky. My horse really wasn't liking it and I don't blame. The fuck was up with the sky? And what was dumping water on us? None of it made sense.

But then the third day... I don't know what the fuck is up with this realm but my face hurt and I couldn't breathe. Dirt Guy was fine, but Mugen and I couldn't stop coughing and sneezing and no matter how much shit I got out of my nose, it just wouldn't stop! I don't know what's wrong with me, but clearly anything coming from the sky is bad! Super fucking bad!! Mugen kept trying to explain that we were sick, but that just don't make any sense. I didn't eat anything that would upset my stomach and this is my face we're talking about here. My face! At one point, I gave up and cried because I've never felt so horrible in my life.

Thank god it got better the next day.

I really wasn't riding all that quickly that day and kept my eye on the sky for any more water dumping. I do not want to go through that again. And I felt better, but Mugen was starting to look a little less green and didn't talk as much. He always talks, but I didn't question it because I wasn't exactly in the best mood either. This trip sucks!

But anyway, the fifth day is mostly uneventful, but we manage to reach the town later in the afternoon. And that is what I'll be talking about next time. Don't worry, I won't make you wait too long for another update. Don't trust the sky, people! Especially if it's gonna dump water on you!

Context: Thera doesn't have weather, so the sky being anything but clear is a huge abnormality to me. Also, people don't get sick on Thera. Disease has been eradicated for years. You just don't get sick, okay?

#Stag stories #dnd campaign #don't trust the sky you hear? #dumping water and shit #not cool!

[stingslikeabee]

❛ are you wearing my shirt? ❜ ( from Captain Daigo ! )

subtle smut sentence starters . accepting

The question was purely rhetorical - that much was evident even in how Daigo had offered his counselor one of his very private but boyish grins, teeth flashing in a way that promised benign mischief. He propped himself better on the bed next, folding an arm to keep his torso angled to admire Melissa and using the free hand to scratch at his chin idly, face suddenly pensive almost as if he was elaborating an assessment on her look.

"Well - it appears to have your name on the back," Melissa chuckled, and then twirled around for emphasis, both hands pointing to the symbols that she assumed meant 'Dojima'. Japanese was not one of the languages she knew from Earth, and the fact that the alphabet was different made it more challenging. The universal translators could work for speech and computer files, but that shirt was a bit of a mystery for the Inadian.

In addition to the name, there was a big number too (a three - which Melissa had supposed to allude to his birthday, although she wasn't too sure). The shirt in itself was huge - enough to leave the female almost swimming in fabric when she sat down, but apparently it was a trademark thing of that type of ancient sportswear from Earth. The hem reached the middle of her thighs and the sleeves were loose over the elbows, covering the essential of her anatomy if anyone entered the captain's quarters.

(Not that it would do any of them a lot of good with Daigo visibly naked under the covers and his counselor wearing something from his personal wardrobe, of course.)

"I'm sure I'm missing a few accessories to play, though. I've looked it up before - this used to be popular in your home country in Earth, right? Baseball?" Melissa queried while sitting down at the edge of the bed, and her proximity removed the false look of contemplation from the captain's face. Probably because the idea of having the ship's counselor on one of these ancient fields chasing after a ball was incredibly funny - as well as something not within her skill set; the last tournament held among the crew to emulate some sort of Olympic competition had proved that Melissa was not particularly gifted with team play.

Daigo chuckled, pulling her closer - his arm wrapping around the telepath's midsection achieved that easily enough, particularly when all Melissa did in protest was to giggle and allow herself to be dragged back to his side. Once more laying in bed, the woman received the kiss offered by the captain with a satisfied humming, her own hands moving to bury themselves in Daigo's hair and unconsciously shifting over the mattress to give him room to maneuver and place himself over her again.

"I can show you an old match one of these days," Daigo murmured against her skin, his lips drifting closer to the ear as he spoke and seemingly uncaring for how the bedsheets were slipping from his figure and leaving very little to hide the fact that he had quite enjoyed the sight of Melissa in something of his, "But maybe you should be wearing something different otherwise I may not be able to concen-"

'Bridge to captain.'

The familiar sound of the ship's communication system being activated and the voice of Kasek echoing these simple words had Daigo groaning next, deliberately hiding his face in the crook of Melissa's neck. The Inadian laughed, arms holding him gently before offering a pat over his head in a very typical gesture of consolation, but keeping quiet - the last thing people on the bridge needed was more confirmation that his free time was being spent in bed, with their counselor.

"Daigo speaking," he responded, but doing an impressive effort to sound neutral and professional while raising his head. Melissa could have teased him further - but instead, she behaved. A hand caressed the captain's face softly, combing some of his head into place as Kasek further elaborated on the message.

'We have picked up a distress signal, captain. It appears to be coming from an inhabited moon of Mondor IV. It may be a stranded ship, sir.'

"Right. Yeah. On my way - Daigo out," the captain confirmed and disconnected, eyes returning to the face of the Inadian on his bed with a look of regret that was too endearing to be ignored. Melissa moved to kiss him - a deep, passionate one, but also a gesture that meant a temporary goodbye. Duty called - they both understood that perfectly.

"Go change, elskede. I will do the same and we can pick this up later when you're free. I only have appointments until 7pm," the therapist elaborated, and he nodded, moving away but not before allowing his thumb to trace Melissa's jaw, pausing right underneath her lips to offer her a smile that was just sincere and serene - a sight that always made her feel incredibly special. So very few were awarded a window to his soul - the Inadian was happy to see it so frequently.

"Baseball night it is, then."

"I can't wait to learn more about it," Melissa responded, and a sweet, short kiss ended their contact. The captain moved into the adjoining bathroom and the telepath sat up, looking for her own clothes and making an effort to look presentable enough for the walk from his room to her own - but not without her heart fluttering in the chest and noticing that she was eager to learn more about him and everything that was important to Daigo.

Not the best sign for one in charge of counseling, but definitely a commendable trait for a girlfriend.

#dojimakaichou #v: Yakuza ; space federation AU #subtle smut starters #replied #the idea hit me like a brick #and I just needed to bring his mainverse thing back #this man has to be allowed hobbies outside of DUTY #(plus she would look adorable in a baseball shirt)

[gillianthecat]

Started watching the original En of Love: Love Mechanics soon after watching the 2022 one

(sort of live-blogging, criticism and spoilers for both shows after the cut)

and it is a bizarre and rather discomforting experience. Same actors, a lot of the same plot points, some of the exact same lines, but the vibes are totally different. The production value is much lower in terms of sets, sound, camera work, and most distractingly, lighting. Also Vee's dangly earring is on the other side which for some reason feels very trippy.

It probably wouldn't be as noticeable if I hadn't just seen the new one. The plot points are all super condensed, it feels like they're whizzing past my head faster than I can track. Yin at 20/21 looks much younger than he does at 22/23, and his acting has improved. War is great, but it feels like he's playing a different character who happens to do some of the same things. Their chemistry is much more asshole4asshole. In the new one they had this sense of attraction and liking each other from the start, even when they were fighting. Here they don't have the chemistry to explain why they keep wanting to each other, so it doesn't make a lot of sense what's happening.

I actually do like asshole Mark a lot, and it would have been interesting to see more of that in the new one. Yin wasn't skilled enough yet to pull off his character's muddled conflicting motivations, although to be fair the plot moves along so rapidly that what Vee wants keeps changing without reason, and I think only a very skilled actor could keep that remotely plausible. He's still very natural and appealing. Glad they got the chance to improve and do it again!

The kiss scene in episode 2 is actually fascinating. At first the have a slow motion BL style kiss where they hold completely still for 30 seconds with their mouths touching. But then they get to do an actual realistic kiss and move their faces and lips. It's not very high heat, but it does look like two people who actually want to be kissing each other. So the actors are willing and capable, but the still had to do that weird static "kiss." I guess that's what BL audiences want or expect? Or the directors think they want? It was very odd. I'd assumed frozen kisses were because the actors weren't willing to do more, but apparently there are other reasons.

Also, War is so beautiful? A lot of the lighting is terrible and makes the other actors look terrible (even Yin at times!), but War looks stunning in every shot.

What is time? I thought like 2 days had passed but then a character said it had been a year? Lol this show feels so unanchored in anything.

Vee makes no sense in this show. Is a romantic? A playboy? A coward? What does he want from Ploy? From Mark? No one seems to know and they haven't told poor Yin. He manages most individual scenes fairly well, but they don't quite add up to a character. His relaxed and charming works much better than his stoic. It would be interesting to compare his acting 2020 and 2022 and see how wooden became nuanced.

The online gossip thing is very annoying but I guess it's an efficient way to make plot happen.

Maybe Vee is supposed to be opaque?

Lol, I got my wish that the scandalous kiss was real. But it doesn't work here because the show's not dealing with any of the heavy issues.

Wait, so do we ever get an explanation for why they kissed? Oh, it's one last kiss. Even in this version it makes no sense why it took so long to explain that. It's barely a sentence.

The way they got back together was confusing and boring and I zoned out/already forgot what happened.

That jealously scene at the pool actually works better in this version. It's so over the top I think Vee is being deliberately playful about it, and not bizarrely being extremely possessive. They're not official boyfriends yet but neither is Vee in the midst of groveling, so it doesn't feel as weirdly invasive like it does in the new one. And (thank god) there's no pervert boxer leering in the background to unexpectedly justify the random body shaming.

Somehow I got the impression from the internet this ended tragically or ambiguously? But it's actually a very fluffy ending.

I can see why everyone was excited about YinWar, they were very appealing together. I wish there was more of just the two of them, I found the group scenes boring. Perhaps something was lost in translation, perhaps the actors were inexperienced/under rehearsed, or perhaps their topics of conversations were just not for me. Also the fans and obsession with Facebook status were weird, but maybe I'm too old.

I do not think I'm the target audience for this. I like my fluff more coherent, my angst angstier, and if there's sex I prefer it sexier.

I wonder if I would have liked it better if I'd seen it before the 2022 version, so it could be its own thing. As is, it felt like an outline or rough draft. And very very low budget, almost like a student project that somehow managed to snag two charismatic and talented leads. But they did impressive work with what I imagine was like 5 sets, less than 2 hours of run time, a gaggle of inexperienced actors and l a very brief shooting window.

I didn't hate the show, but I guess I was more intrigued by looking at what didn't work for me, so this came our pretty negative.

I'm glad that they got the chance to make something longer, more expensive and more complex with this frame.

#en of love: love mechanics #love mechanics spoilers #love mechanics critical #love mechanics the series #love mechanics #yin anan wong #war wanarat #veemark #vee x mark #negative #critique #liveblogging #sort of #rambling thoughts

[harrison-abbott]

Trying to be in her Life

My daughter liked her mother more than she did me.

I noticed it when she was very young, still a baby; she’d want to be held by other mother rather than me. If Susan (her Mum) passed her over to me, she would sprawl out her arms for her to take her back.

Back in those days I had a day job which consisted of eleven hours Monday to Friday joints. Susan was on maternity leave so I suppose she had that crucial initial time with her. I should have said her name already: my daughter’s name was Rebecca.

When Rebecca became a toddler she didn’t speak to me much but she would speak to Susan. If I walked into the kitchen she would stop mid sentence and would start again. Susan was good at reading her stories in bed, whereas I tried that a few times and I wasn’t so communicative. Rebecca would say “Speak louder!” and I would try to be a thespian with the characters in the books but I didn’t have that actors’ skill.

She got to nursery age. When Susan drove her to the nursery she was chuffed to be going. When I drove her along, she cried in the back seat. … It was similar when I picked her up. She was moody if it was me that picked her up at the end of the day but if Susan was in the car she would sit next to her in the front seat, and me in the back.

When Rebecca went to primary school she flourished with her girl friends. Got popular. When she got a little bit older she magnetized with the boys as well.

I did the mandatory things like make sure that she did her homework when she got home. And Susan had gotten a different job by this point which meant that she wasn’t home in the evenings three evenings a week. So I made food for Rebecca. We sat at the table. And I tried to speak to her about things. She didn’t have much ping pong but she didn’t seem bored either. She would try to listen to what I was saying and she was polite, in a way.

So I thought that I was doing better with trying to be in her life.

But because Susan was working away, it made Rebecca miss her more. And thus when she got home again, Susan would want to spend time alone with Rebecca, and vice versa.

They would go into the living room and close the door and put up a sign on the door which said ‘GIRLS’ FILM NIGHT’. And so I wasn’t allowed to attend with them. I’d sit in the kitchen reading my books.

By this point, Rebecca had stopped wanting stories at night; she was way beyond that. I’d tried to interest her in books but she didn’t seem to care.

She didn’t really care about anything. And then she was in high school. And she was quite a pretty girl, or, rather, she changed into a pretty thing, and the boys started to take an intrigue. And then she was speaking with Susan, often, about them.

Puberty hit.

She changed very sharply. Snapping, shouting. But the biggest change was that she started to argue with Susan. Rebecca and she had never had arguments before but now that Rebecca was muddled with the hormones they began to bicker on a weekly basis. And I’ll admit that I enjoyed that their relationship was deteriorating. Or worsening, rather.

Susan would come and speak to me about her.

“What do you think is happening to Rebecca? She used to be such a sweet girl. What do you think?”

I didn’t remember when she was a sweet child.

“Do you think we should take her to a therapist?” Susan said. I said that, no, we shouldn’t do that. She was in her teens, being moody, being aggressive: it’s what teenagers do. I said that we should see out the phase and try and be appeasing towards her.

Then she got into a physical fight with one of the girls at school. Apparently the other girl had got off worse. And Susan and I were called in to the headteacher’s office to discuss her behaviour. It wasn’t just the fight, he said. She had been doing worse in her grades and her attitude in class and she had been cheeky with the staff a lot, too.

The headteacher was a man from the Netherlands with Silver Grey hair and he was about six foot four and his accent sounded English. He was intimidating but you couldn’t tell whether he cared about what he was saying.

“What shall we do about her?” Susan said to me, when I was driving back home with her.

“I don’t think we should worry about the headteacher’s words.”

“Why not?”

“He doesn’t have any therapeutical training.”

“Well why don’t we send Rebecca to s proper therapist.”

“I … That doesn’t seem like the … Why does she need a therapist? Because she’s being immature in school. I was like that in high school as well.”

“Yeah, well: what have you achieved? I thing we should have a proper man to her about this.”

This fleeting tongue didn’t really surprise me anymore with Susan, the woman I had married a long time ago and who I had lived with and loved for a fat chunk of my life.

Susan didn’t even know that she’d just said those blunt lines and when we got home she went into the kitchen and started preparing dinner for tonight. Rebecca was out playing with her friends or one of her boyfriends.

The smells from the kitchen arose. And they smelled good … but I really didn’t want to eat with Susan tonight, or Rebecca. I just wanted to be on my own.

I thought about how much I had done for both of them across my life and how little they had appreciated it. But, what the hey: for tonight, I didn’t want to be in the house, I wanted to be somewhere else. So I put my coat on and got my wallet and keys and I went down to the front door. Susan saw me leaving and she called my name but I didn’t want to turn and respond to her. I got outside and into my car and I ignited it and drove off down the road.

Maybe I could go and see a movie or I could go visit a bar or I could go down to the outskirts of town and camp out in the forest for a night. Anything.

I didn’t have to be with my family for the night. They weren’t much of a family.

#writeblr #creative writing #prose #writers on tumblr #stories #tumblr writers #short fiction #fiction #short story #flash fiction #spilled ink