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vanessagillings · 1 month

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I’m posting the ever-so-rare photo of myself alongside one of my characters based on my childhood because today is World Autism Acceptance Day, and I wanted to show my little corner of the internet who this particular autistic person is:

I was officially diagnosed in February, at age 38 (I’m now 39). A lot of people thought I couldn’t be autistic. Some people who know me in real life still don’t. And until around 10 years ago, I didn’t think I could be either, because I was nothing like the stereotype media portrays. I was told that autistics lacked empathy (untrue), and never played make-believe (also often untrue) and only enjoyed STEM. I was — and am — an empathetic artist -- and make believe? I can spend days sketching finely bedecked bears brewing tea or carefully choosing the right words to weave tapestries of fiction — though perhaps my hyper focus was a bit of a red flag. Even so, how could autism describe me? I was a good student. I got straight A's. I didn’t act out in class. I can make eye contact…if I must. And lots of girls hate having their hair brushed with an unholy passion, right? Clearly I swim in sarcasm like a fish, so autism couldn't be why I was so anxious all the time, could it?

If someone had told me when I was younger what autism ACTUALLY is — instead of the nonsense I’d seen on screens — I would have seen myself in it. I didn’t hear that autistics have sensory issues until I was in my mid-twenties, which is when I first began to really research autism symptoms, and I had almost all of them: sensitivity to light, smells, fabrics, temperatures, textures, and certain touches, all of which make me feel anxious, I fidget (stim), I never know what the hell to do with my hands or where to look, I talk too little or too much, I have special interests, I have entire animated movies memorized shot-by-shot and can remember the first time and place I saw every movie I've ever seen but I often forget what I'm trying to say mid-sentence, I echo movies and tv shows (my husband and I have a whole repertoire of shared echolalias, making up about 20% of our conversations), I was in speech therapy as a kid, I have issues with dysnomia and verbal fluency, I toe-walk, I can't multitask to save my life, I like things just-so, I’m deeply introverted but not shy, I need to recover from all social interaction — even social interaction I enjoy — and I find stupid, every day things like grocery shopping, driving and making appointments overwhelming and intensely stressful, sometimes to the point where I struggle to speak. It turns out, I am definitely autistic. My results weren't borderline. Not even close. And while these aren’t all of my challenges, and not everyone with these symptoms is autistic, it’s definitely something to look into if you present with all of these things at once.

So why did it take me so long to get diagnosed? The same bias that exists in media threads through the medical community as well, and because I'm a woman who can discuss the weather while smiling on cue, few people thought I was worth looking into. Even after I was fairly certain I was autistic, receiving an official diagnosis in the US is unnecessarily difficult and expensive, and in my case, completely uncovered by my insurance. It cost me over $4000, and I could only afford it because my husband makes more money than I do as a freelance illustrator — a job I fell into largely because it didn’t require in-person work; like many autists, I have been chronically underemployed and underpaid, in part due to physical illness in my twenties, which is a topic for another day. But it shouldn’t be like this. It shouldn’t be so hard for adults to receive diagnoses and it shouldn’t be so hard for people to see themselves in this condition to begin with due to misinformation and stereotypes. Like many issues in America, these barriers are even higher for marginalized groups with multiple intersectionalities.

It’s commonly said that if you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person. This is why it’s called a spectrum, not because there’s a linear progression of severity (someone who appears to have low support needs like myself might need more than it seems, and vice versa), but because every autistic person has their own strengths and weaknesses, challenges and experiences, opinions and needs. No two people on the spectrum present in the same way. And that’s a good thing! No way of being autistic is inherently any better than any other, and even if someone on the spectrum struggles with things I don’t — or can do things I can’t — doesn’t make them more or less deserving of respect and human dignity.

But speaking solely for myself, the more I learn about autism, the happier I am to be autistic. I struggle to find words and exert fine motor control, but my deep passion and fixation has made me good at art and storytelling anyway. I find more joy watching dogs and studying leaf shapes on my walks than most people do in an entire day. More often than not, the barriers I’ve faced weren’t due to my autism directly, but due to society being overly rigid about what it considers a valid way of existing. My hope in writing this today is that maybe one person will realize that autism isn’t what they thought — and that being different is not the same as being less than. My hope with my fiction is to give autistic children mirrors with which to see themselves, and everyone else windows through which to see us as we actually are.

If you’re interested in learning more about autism or think you might be autistic, too, I recommend the Autism Self Advocacy Network autisticadvocacy.org and the following books:

What I Mean When I Say I’m Autistic by Annie Kotowicz

We're Not Broken by Eric Garcia

Knowing Why edited by Elizabeth Bartmess

Unmasking Autism by Devon Price, PhD

Loud Hands edited by Julia Bascom

Neurotribes by Steve Silberman

(trigger warning: the last two contain quite a lot of upsetting material involving institutionalized child abuse, but I think it’s important for people to know how often autistic children were — and are — abused simply for being neurodivergent).

Thanks for reading 💛

#autism acceptance day #actually autistic

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starrclown · 2 months

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Silly little double post cause I thought of this SECONDS after my original post bitching about the Hotel.

I have a theory on why people don't complain about the black characters designs of Hazbin Hotel. (I'll talk about it at the end)

Let's talk about the 4 black characters of Hazbin Hotel that people defend the designs with their LIFE.

First up:

ALASTOR

Alastor has been confirmed to be a mixed Creole man from Louisiana. Does he look like it? No. No he doesn't. If you told me this man has the whitest parents this side of hell then I would believe you. There I nothing visually that gives away he may have black features. Nose shape, lips, not ashy grey skin (something well see just you wait), thy couldn't even be dammned to give him curly hair or nothing! He doesn't have no black features and it's really off putting.

People argue that he has a white parent, a part that could play in him not having black features. I will remind you all again that I am not mixed. I am white. Mixed people can look any way. There is no specific way for mixed people to look. But cmon. No black features at all? Nothing? Personally I believe that Alastor want designed to be black. I believe that Vivziepop only made him black to justify him using voodoo. This is only speculation but to each their own.

Side note but the way yall attack people, mostly on Tiktok, about redesigns or re imagines is actually depressing. Could make a whole rant on that in general.

Next up:

VELVETTE

Thir is similar issues with Alastor and Velvette. No textured hair, no nose shape, no difference in her lips, ashy grey skin. While I like that Velvette changes hair styles every episode, personally I think that Velvette should have more black hairstyles. Like Velvette with braids or dreadlocks would be so cool. To this shows credit, Velvette did have a afro in episode 8. Honestly that should be her starter hair before she changes it. That would be so cute. Manifesting Velvette with a afro.

3rd:

Sera

Sera I would argue is the best designed black character. She actually has more pigmented brown skin and her hair I think is supposed to resemble dreadlocks. Personally I think their is room for improvement. She could be browner, less ashy looking, since she actually had a nose it could be a different shape then just straight, their could be more detail for her hair. While she's the best designed character, their is room to grow.

Side note: Y'all hating Sera too much. I see fanart and animatics of her being this blood thirsty killer that is jus destroying hell. Yall she is actively shown in the first 2 minutes of Hazbin not agreeing with the exterminations and actively frowning at the idea of murder. Sera is great I don't know what yall are on.

Last and certainly least because oh my god:

Emily

This is not a black woman. No I don't care that Viv said she's or that her Bible page says she is. Where is any black features? Her skin is gray, she has pencil thin lips like me, a white boy, she has stringy straight hair, and no nose at all.

This goes along with Sera as well but people say that they are angel's and don't have to look like black women because their angels and don't have a race. Which 1. Is wrong because Emily's Bible page said she was a youthful 20 something black woman and 2. If their angel's that dont have races then that fine. But.

DON'T SAY THEIR BLACK WOMAN AND THEN NOT DESIGN THEM LIKE IT.

If Viv just left them raceless then the would have been fine. But that not what she did. She made them black and then back peddled when people said that they didn't look like black woman. She tried to have her cake and eat it too. No, I don't care their angel's, if your going to give them a race then commit to it.

Let's get on to my conspiracy theory. I've noticed something in the Hazbin Hotel fandom that I think is the reason for the dismissal of the black characters no having black features.

Fanart.

I'm going somewhere with this is swear.

Go to Tumblr or Tiktok and see the art people create of Hazbin Hotel. You'll notice that people give Alastor and Velvette brown skin, they give Emily curly hair, they give Velvette full lips and different black hairstyles.

People make their art of the black characters looking black so when people see it they associate it with the show.

This is of course just a theory but I've noticed it alot and I think it's a pretty damn good explanation.

Sorry if this isn't as good as my other rants, I tried to get this out quickly because my theory was bothering me.

Asks are always open, art is always here, commissions are open, black lives matter.

- ⭐️StarClown⭐️

#hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critique #vivziepop critical #vivziepop criticism #vivziepop critique #helluva boss critique #helluva boss criticism

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leebrontide · 1 year

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Ok so I said I would do a post on “reasons you’re not writing” from the POV of a writer/therapist who works with anxious, depressed, and neurodivergent clients. If you dig that, read on.

But firstly, a disclaimer. This list is far from comprehensive. Don’t yell at me if your experience isn’t represented. This is a tumblr post. Have realistic expectations.

Also, sometimes the reason you’re not writing is that your other obligations are just taking all of your energy and focus. Fixing that is well beyond the scope of this.

That said, here’s a bunch of barriers I see people run into all the time.

1) You’re afraid of failing, and subconsciously feel like it’s safer not to try.

This is a tricky one, because it's probably messing up many areas of your life, which in turn means you're going to frequently feel stressed out in general, which speaks to the point above.

This is around about where the general internet will tend to offer you an array of affirmations to use to sooth yourself. And that's fine. If those work for you, then use them! BUT, if the affirmations aren't working, then friend you have a bigger project on your hands.

You need to get comfortable with failing, particularly at creative projects. I know that can feel scary and vulnerable, but you won't take risks if you can't fail, which is going to hem in your creativity so hard that your motivation will starve. This is why people talk about writing a garbage draft. Not because they want to make garbage, but because they need the option of making garbage in order to take risks. That may or may not work for you, but either way, you really might wanna look at how to lower your stakes.

2) You’re not sure what you’re trying to communicate.

You can make things happen in the story, but you feel like you’re wandering around aimlessly. You don't find you're making decisions with conviction. It might be hard to really fall in love with any of your writing decisions.

For this one, I suggest stepping back and figuring out what the core of your enthusiasm for a story consists of. That CAN be a message or philosophy. It can also be a feeling or a vibe or a dynamic. That gives you a structure that you can build your decisions around, that you can be enthusiastic about.

3) You switched hyperfocus. And maybe your new hyperfocus is a lot of fun, but you feel sadness thinking about the WIP you left behind.

This one has a similar need to the one before, with an added layer of nuance, because you're probably already struggling with identifying what does interest you. This can make people feel really hopeless and helpless.

I have three totally different suggestions for this one. The first is to just be patient with yourself. Sometimes it's good for your brain to just indulge, and let your brain mine for dopamine where it can. Like, lean in. Spa day for your brain, as long as it's feeling good.

Secondly, see if you can find creative ways to weave your hyperfocus into your writing. Is there a dynamic in your favorite show that can inspire your writing, even if it's an original work? Do you want to take a moment to think about how transportation works in the history of your world? Can you consider your MCs relationship to old movies?

It doesn't always work, but sometimes instead of trying to switch things over, you can build a bridge, that gives depth and texture to your work.

Finally- consider embracing short fiction! Do some writing inspired directly by the hyperfocus du joir while it's around.

4) You feel like nothing you say will be interesting to anyone else.

We understand this is a self-esteem issue, right? You're gonna have to develop the trust that your experiences are not so utterly unrelatable to everyone else that your perspective has no value.

Friend, you are a human, with human experiences, writing for other humans. Trust me, you can do this.

It can help to think about your actual convictions. What do you know? What have you experienced? What matters to you? Funnily enough, the cure for feeling like nothing in you is worth expressing is to pour more of yourself into your writing.

5) You’re collapsed. It’s hard to feel enthusiasm and energy for things.

You're not gonna like this, but for this one I encourage you to put your keyboard or notebook down and stop trying to write right now. I know that when you're feeling better the writing feels good, and you're trying to feel better because everyone is telling you to feel better.

But it's not working, is it? If it was, you wouldn't be reading this.

For many people, writing requires them to be able to feel investment and excitement, because those feelings help steer them towards what's going to work and be exciting for the reader.

Your best bet is to focus your energy on finding gentle little activities that aren't so hard to focus on. Ideally, ones that get you moving just a little bit. You'll have a better time writing when you're less collapsed.

Shaming yourself and getting hopeless and anxious because you can't do this really difficult task right now will make you more collapsed, not less, which will be the opposite of helpful.

And yes, these are depression symptoms. Consider reaching out for supports and assessment around that if you can.

6) You can’t figure out the next step.

Thank God for the internet, this one is a lot more actionable than it used to be.

The first thing to do here is step back and ask yourself "where am I getting lost?" If you have someone to talk this through with, even better.

Then you hop on to your favorite search engine and type in "Stuck on my outline 2nd act" or "can't get started editing" or whatever. People LOVE giving writing advice. There's plenty around. Read some advice! Try things out!

Now here is the critical point- when and if that advice fails, stop and figure out why it failed. For example, I have a short term memory disorder. Most writing process advice is for people who do not have short term memory impairments. So a lot of the advice just plain didn't work for me.

By figuring out that my subpar memory was in the way of my writing process, I was able to put together processes that work for my specific brain and my specific process. You can read about that in more depth here and here.

Frankenstien yourself a process out of stolen bits of other people's processes, with an understanding of your own personalized needs as the lightning that brings it all to life. If you have even traits of ADHD or autism or other forms of neurodiversity (no diagnosis needed) you might also google "ADHD editing hacks".

Finally, and maybe most importantly, chuck anything that you can't adapt right into the trash. I don't care how great the writer who gave the advice is. That's what works for their life and their brain. You have neither. Writing advice is only as useful as it is adaptable.

7) You think of yourself as someone who doesn’t finish things, possibly with history to back that up.

Oh, I feel this one. This was me so hard. For so long.

Make room for the idea that you can and will change over time. Getting shit done is largely a matter of developing a bunch of skills. You've already developed so many different skills in your life that you might not even recognize some of them as skills. But I promise you that you have.

But you see #6? Go read that one again. If you're not finishing things, it's because there's something missing in your routine and process that you haven't developed skills around yet.

I'm not gonna tell you it's easy, but you can find and isolate the barriers and figure out ways around them.

8) You have too many projects and feel frozen when you try to pick one to work on.

Ask yourself if this is a real problem. It may be! Maybe you dream of making a living off of your writing! That requires a level of consistency.

But it also might just be that you've had it drilling into your head that not finishing things is some kind of personal failing.

Write out all your WIPs and story seeds.

See if some of them can be mushed into one. Some AMAZING stories come from people combining story ideas that seem separate into a single story. That's fun.

See if some of them are not for finishing. What's that post going around? Some stories are for finishing, and some are just for "getting the wiggles out"? That's solid advice.

Maybe some stories are just for daydreaming on the bus. Maybe some stories are actually only 1/3rd of a story, and you want to leave it to grow in the ground before you try to do anything with it. That's incredibly valid and common!

If you actually look at the stories that you have that are for finishing, right now, you may find a much more manageable number. And if you only have like 2 or 3 things you're working on, you can just let them take turns as the passion for each project takes you.

Keep a file somewhere of these undeveloped ideas. I have a scrivner file that has each idea it's own little sub-document so I can add thoughts to them for years as they percolate.

9) You get lost in preparation and don’t make it to the page.

A couple different things can be happening here. One thing that may be happening is that you're just a writer who needs a lot of research and prep time before you write. I'm like that. I will prewrite intensively for a year before I write a single sentence. That sounds ridiculous to a lot of people but it works with how my brain works and then when I do start writing I can easily and happily churn out a consistent 2-4k words per hour. If it works it works! Don't let anyone shame you!

The other option is that you feel like you're going to get something wrong/fail/get in trouble if you get anything "wrong". You feel safer doing research, so that's where you stay.

Only you can figure out which it is. Introspect. Then you know whether to focus on managing anxiety or just keep preppin.

10) You want to write, but when you sit down to write suddenly it’s two hours later and you’ve written like 5 words but curated 3 new playlists, read some fanfiction, and argued with some strangers on the internet.

Brains are rough, aren't they.

There are two schools of thought here. Both work, but not for all the same people.

Option 1 is to clear distractions. Download one of those apps that keeps you off the internet. Put your phone someplace that you need a ladder to reach, so you have to very actively decide to go get it. Noise cancelling headphones. Comfy clothes. Protein rich snacks and a beverage within easy reach. Pee ahead of time. Make a routine out of it to train your brain into associating this with focus.

Option 2 is to figure out the optimal level of distraction. When I write nonfiction I almost always have mindless home renovation shows on at the same time. Because nonficiton writing isn't quite stimulating enough to hold my attention. So my attention wanders and I end up doing something that WILL hold my attention. When I write fiction, I need music OR to be outdoors where I can look at trees or clouds or people on the sidewalk. I can't watch any kind of TV.

Think of your attention like a pie chart. Different writing tasks may take up different percentages of that pie. If you're awesome at focus maybe you can just put 90% of your focus on writing, and the other 10% is just making sure you don't forget to eat or something. But if you can't reliably conjure up more than 70% for one thing, then fill the rest of the pie with things you can easily pick up and put down. I only look up at the home decorating shows when my passive audio scanning suggests it's something I want to look up at.

These are both good approaches. Ignore anyone who demonizes either. That only means they've found the version that works for them.

You have your brain. Build a process for your brain.

I hope this helps. I have a free monthly newsletter if you like hearing my rants. It is...not consistently about writing advice or mental health. One time I wrote about how genetically modified goats are related to French colonized Madagascar in the 1800s as well as the modern US military. One time I broke down modern challenges to medical privacy practice policies. This is all to do with what I write but in an idiosyncratic way.

Cause I gotta write about what I care about.

#writeblr #mental health #neurodiversity #writing #writing advice #writing process #writing procrastination

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centeris2 · 3 months

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You know, I feel really bad for the SSO writers

Not even from a "constantly changing lore, unfinished story threads, and so many NPCs good luck remembering characterization" sort of way. I mean in a meta and game writing way.

I look at the events and wince because oof, these are tough decisions. I play through the latest story quests and think about how hard that job is.

Unless there has been a staff change since I did contract work (and given it's been a while now, that is possible), it's mostly two ladies trying to wrestle with a difficult challenge:

How do you create the illusion of choice and feel of an RPG when writing a linear story with no possible deviations?

A player gets dialogue options, they are given a choice! The choice they pick doesn't matter, it doesn't change the outcome of the quest because it can't change. The story is linear. The characters ask the player for ideas, but either have to shoot them all down or the player can actually only suggest one idea.

There is also the issues of the world of Jorvik changing and not matching what the text says. The dialogue says to hide in bushes to stay hidden, but no bushes are around where the characters have been positioned. Katja and Jessica ride off on ice made by Katja, but the quests are released during winter, so the ice effect isn't visible at all under the snow textures and the dialogue about not being able to follow across a river now look very silly. A character mentions Moorland Stables getting renovated, which doesn't make sense years after Moorland's update. And so on.

And then there are events! SSO comes out with these brand new shiny models: the Dark Riders! So obviously they want to use their newest and best looking characters in events to show them off to all players as soon as possible. This makes things no longer make sense. How does Sabine know a brand new player? Why would a player recognize Katja or Sabine, who they have never met in game? There is the tug of war between "this doesn't make sense to have these characters at these events" and "these are the best looking models in the game and therefore we want to show them off", so the writers have to find a way to write these characters in and just sorta accept that the events are non canonical for most (all) players. How else would all the soul riders the brand new player hasn't saved yet be there standing around?

It's tough, it's a tangled mess, it's a balancing act with lots of other departments and needs pushing on the scales. I don't envy them and I don't know a good solution. (Short of like, releasing a single player story game for the story quests. IDK about the events, have event-only npcs? having every event have an ongoing updating story every year means a lot of time and resources is going toward just events, I can see why they would want to stop that, especially with 4 major events a year.)

Don't get me wrong, if I had a chance to do another writing or proofreading contract for them I'd do it in a heartbeat. But my god, tough job.

#sso #ssoblr #don't mind me I'm talking

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drenix004 · 8 months

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Blankets for omega

Pairing: Alpha Leon Kennedy x Omega Fem Reader.

Summary: Leon doesn't know which blanket to take to his omega, so he takes them all.

Warning: fluff, Alpha Leon concerned, Omega Fem

¡English is not my first language, so there may be mistakes, don’t hesitate to correct me.!

Leon S Kennedy had a reputation for being a cold and calculating alpha, at first glance it was obvious that he was dominant by nature. The air around him made it more than clear that he was an alpha, and as such society told him that he should not be soft, that only showed weakness.

But, Leon was never someone normal, he stepped out of the typical stereotype many times, just as he was doing at that moment.

Stares were on him, some discreet and some not so much, he could hear the dismayed whispers at seeing him grab items in a specialty store for omegas.

He had called his omega during the flight back from Spain, his wolf was restless and would only calm down if he heard his mate's voice. But, when he heard it he knew immediately that something was not right, so he asked.

He had a fundamental rule in their relationship, No lies, and more if that could put the integration and security of the omega.

"I don't like the nest anymore, the blankets make me uncomfortable" he replied almost on the verge of tears.

Those words had caused Leon to worry about his mate's health.

The nests were very important for the health and well-being of the omegas, they could easily get sick if they were not suited to each other's needs.

If the nest wasn't right, neither would the omega and if that alone would make her sick.

That was enough to make her almost run out of the plane when she landed, she could feel the distress and discomfort through the pair bond so she let out slight grunts as she climbed into her jeep and drove to the nearest omegas store.

When he walked in, he certainly attracted attention, but he focused on what was more important. He grabbed a cart and went about putting items that would help calm his omega and then went to the section that to him was worse than the puzzles he did on his missions.

As he entered the nesting items aisle in the blanket area he didn't know which one to choose, there were thermal blankets, silk, cotton, quilted, soft, extra soft, linen, thin, thick, plush, textured, untextured.

"Why the fuck are there so many?" he cursed under his breath at the excessive amount of blankets, he furrowed his eyebrows, every minute that passed was a minute without being able to comfort his partner.

"Fuck it, I'll take them all" he grabbed one of each type and was throwing them into the cart.

Money wasn't an issue, and it never really would be. The government paid him very well for risking his ass on every mission, it was the only advantage he saw to it, as he could fulfill his partner's every whim without having to look at his bank account.

Quickly the cart filled up, so it was his turn to carry a few blankets in his hands. he was practically a walking mountain of blankets when he got to the cashier to turn off, he gave him a dirty look when the clerk opened his mouth, shutting him up before he even uttered a vowel.

He quickly stowed everything in the jeep and floored the gas pedal to the metal, on the way he released his pheromones to get the blankets scented.

"I'm coming honey, Alpha is on his way."

if it is well received, I will make part 2 :)

#husband!leon kennedy #leon kennedy x oc #leonscottkennedy #leon kennedy fluff #leon kennedy #Alpha!leon kennedy #a/b/o verse #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy imagine #leon x reader #husband leon #resident evil x reader #re4 remake #resident evil 2 #drenix004 #leon vendetta

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skillsco · 23 hours

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just some autistic frank things and headcanons:

• one of his special interests is weapons, when he was a teen he developed one involving medieval torture. he’s known all the pressure points of where to hit someone in order to incapacitate them for years.

• he reads and writes more than he speaks. he often felt like an outsider growing up. he needs rules to function and many social situations are too complex. he likes when things are simple.

• goes nonverbal when he’s upset and starts stimming by tapping his fingers, walking around.

• general stims include his index finger tapping against his thumb, chewing the inside of his cheek, licking his lips, and rubbing the back of his head if it’s been shaved. he likes playing with his longer hair too but hardly anyone is around to see it.

• he stims every time he listens to music. he doesn’t listen to music very often. it’s distracting for him.

• he likes his long hair but it’s too noisy for him. he needs it out of his eyes and face to be able to focus.

• autistic rage is how he survives.

• safe foods include black coffee and breakfast foods. he likes trying new foods and recipes because he likes exploring different types of textures and flavors. he cooks for people to show that he cares because he’s not great with words.

• stims by cleaning his guns. he used to play with maria’s hair a lot. now he rubs the scar on the back of his head.

• extremely high pain tolerance from years of dissociating from his body. it was difficult when he was growing up. his mom would often find him injured and not saying anything or acting like there was something wrong. he once broke his finger and didn’t realize it until later when someone pointed it out.

• has to have everything extremely organized. as a child he lined things up and would get upset if people touched his stuff. he wasn’t good at playing with others.

• technology is overwhelming for him, he likes old fashioned things with physical parts.

• needs more information to assess a situation. whether that be for a mark or in personal situations. he would always ask “the wrong questions” and offer solutions instead of just listening. it was one of his main issues with maria. she thought he didn’t care about her feelings for years when he was trying to help.

• he did not realize maria was flirting with him at first. she was his first real relationship because all other people gave up when they assumed he wasn’t interested. he doesn’t know how to flirt.

• he’s obsessive. when it comes to his mission, nothing else matters. when he first got with maria, nothing else mattered. he needed to know everything about her.

• his autistic sense of justice is what drives him. he believes what he is doing is right and is firm in his beliefs. this also goes hand in hand with his black and white thinking.

• even before war, he was awkward in social situations. he’s always been quiet. he doesn’t like big settings of people, it’s too loud with too much going on. he prefers one on one interactions. it’s easier to focus when it’s just one person.

• he’s been told he struggles with empathy and has no emotions, but he feels so deeply despite not expressing it. he doesn’t understand how people don’t see it but it’s not something he can really explain. it’s always been like that.

• he was nonverbal for years as a child, which is why he was so used to the comments that were made at the construction site (nmcu specific) and he couldn’t understand why they gave a shit.

• in school, he was bullied, but he never really told his parents about it. he was always kinda different. always felt like he was faking the whole “being a human” thing, so in some ways what he does now is easier. he doesn’t have to pretend and put energy into things he’s bad at.

• lisa was kinda like him and it made him nervous. she was blunt and accused of being cold when he knew what she meant. maria had to explain why it was an issue, but all he could think about was the factual statements and how it’s good to pick things apart.

• he always has a plan, a backup plan, and a backup backup plan. it’s part of why he hates a lot of heroes that just go in with no plan. why don’t they have a plan? he’s gone on many tangents before. it’s one of the main reasons why he doesn’t do team ups. that, and other people are too unpredictable. he still doesn’t play well with others.

• when he was young, he really believed in god because god and catholicism has rules that you stick to. he never understood why god and the angels were allowed to kill people but he wasn’t. he went into seminary because he had a special interest in god. he can debate a lot but religious people rarely enjoy it. he’s now a lapsed catholic, mostly because of that.

• nowadays to him, heaven is just a fancy prison and free will is what’s important. he doesn’t like the idea of being a pawn. it’s why he told heaven to go fuck itself. if he has to sacrifice his beliefs then what does that say about him?

• part of why he went into the marines was because he dad always told him he needed to respect authority. he was pushed into it, told that maybe it would do him some good since he was constantly picking fights and not understanding why people behaved the way that they did.

• he likes dogs because dogs like routine. they’re always affectionate. he can also talk to them and they don’t judge or expect him to say the right words. they just like it when he talks.

• his punisher shirts are always a blend of cotton and polyester overtop kevlar. he has a stencil he carries in his bag. the skull is like the jacket he had in high school. it makes him feel comfortable and secure.

• he never wears cologne and doesn’t like things with a lot of scent.

• he was never too good at hygiene, even as a child. now he has an excuse, but really it’s just a lot of effort and he’s going to get dirty again so why does it matter?

#might add more later #really obsessed with autistic frank #probably because i’m autistic #frank castle #the punisher #headcanons #autistic frank castle #comics inspired #nmcu inspired

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do-angels-dream-of-starry-seas · 1 year

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I just have to wax poetic about the beauty of gentlebeard, particularly why I, as an autistic person, love them so much and project onto them so badly

This might get a little long, so a read more will do

But first off, some fun brief history lesson on autistic relationships in media :). Which sucks most of the time :)))

Ok I'm really not gonna get too much into it cause most of its the same; white autistic man/white allistic woman (The Good Doctor, Adam, etc). There have been steps in more diversity when it comes to this (Jane Wants a Boyfriend and Extraordinary Attorney Woo, a flip on this trope, and Heartbreak High has an actually autistic actress as a main lesbian character) but some of these media aren't being continued anymore (Everything's Gonna Be Okay you will always be missed)

As of right now, the themes of these stories are usually about the disability, teaching allistics and just overall centers around autism itself, which considering how many of these projects aren't led by autistic people, it's shitty repetitive portrayals (The Good Doctor, Atypical, Extraordinary Attorney Woo, As They See Us, blah blah blah blah blah)

But then you got these two pirates.

And let me explain how they pressed all the right buttons for me:

1. Both neurodivergent coded

Stede Bonnet my autistic icon. Just, the way he goes about social interactions and his knowledge about things is so reminiscent of trying to understand social rules and masking and special interests. There's even the little things like his love of books and needing things spelled out to him and when he commented on the textures of the privateer clothing.

And there's definitely a reason loads of people love to read Ed as adhd: his brain thinking of plans ahead in the future, feeling stuck in life, collection of items in a "messy" room, and that fancy French party man. His reading is less overt and more nuanced to me, but I still feel connected to him like I do with Stede, like how I would feel when watching a show about autistic people.

2. Their neurodivergent relationship

I've said before that most relationships we see are with an autistic/allistic. It falls under the "teaching" category and makes me feel like its trying to make a point, like yes, autistic people can have relationships like anyone else and they are lovable enough to neurotypicals!!!1!!1!

So imagine my absolute glee at how when Stede and Ed have their first proper conversation, it goes like

Ed seemingly seeking a sensory touch from the softness of a fabric

Stede instead of judging him on doing something "weird" asks if he enjoys it

And because they find they both enjoy this certain thing

Stede shows him his safe space to Ed full of this same kind of thing Ed liked

Ed then expresses his personal feelings to Stede

And gets no judgment, in fact a show of agreement and sympathy

And then they do something that's like an inside joke that's really only funny to them

And then Ed encourages Stede to be confident by supporting him

This is thee meet-cute, nothing can ever top this cute and honest beginning of a medium-burn relationship, change my mind

Most of what autistics want more than anything, romantic or otherwise, is to feel listened to and accepted. And we get this almost immediately, with BOTH Stede and Ed feeling appreciated!!!!

3. No neurodivergent preaching

When autistic love is shown in media, it's usually never the focal point. The main thing is about the person having the disability - even shows I love and praise for its relationship representation like Extraordinary Attorney Woo and Everything's Gonna Be Okay do the same thing

Ofmd acknowledges issues existing like colonialism, racism and homophobia, yet this show is not about that. The characters are allowed to exist and be themselves and happy without having this fact shoved down their throat every waking second and the villains who keep up the systemic issues get their comeuppance, usually by that person they were hurting.

And I here what you're saying: that neurodivergency is not canon and so doesn't have the direct acknowledgement like the other issues I mentioned... well.

We don't see sexism in ofmd, yet we all understand how Mary wouldn't be able to make the same choices Stede could on leaving their family. We know that the French party were entertained by Ed, not just cause of his stories as Jeff The Accountant.

Stede was bullied in his childhood by his father and classmates for not fitting in, for standing out - yes this obviously reads as homophobia, but many neurodivergents can relate to feeling exactly like this, some i bet almost being in the same situation as Stede is when it comes to things like crying easily and liking to pick flowers

So a moment like Stede playing Stark Revelations, where he gets to make fun of people that were like those in his old life AND being able to defend his one and only friend? That felt pretty damn good to watch myself.

Even without the romance, you still have a show where the two main characters are encouraged to be themselves in every way. This is a far cry from other media where even though they aren't explicitly stated to be neurodivergent, they are generally unlikeable and/or characters around them scold and pressure them to change into something "better" (Sherlock, Big Bang Theory, etc etc). Doesn't change the fact they are read as neurodivergent and thus seen as harmful representation for people who are "similar" to them irl

Meanwhile, Ed and Stede love each other because of who the other is, no narrative about them having to fall in love with the other despite their differences... but because they found something in each other they always wanted to find, and to feel loved in return

And the narrative doesn't preach to you or tries to fix them. Instead it says "this is our main character who happens to be white and middle aged, and this is his love interest who happens to be middle-aged and a Māori man, and this is their love story". And it is so goddamn neurodivergent

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd meta #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #stede bonnet #edward teach #autism #actually autistic #autistic love #autistic relationship #let.me.dream.with.ofmd

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localplaguenurse · 9 months

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Pantalone Appearance Headcanons

Or, they’re sort of appearance headcanons? Combination appearnce and self care headcanons. Think of this as a sort of part two of my health headcanons, it’s just an extension of how his childhood/health have affected his day to day life. Brief mention of lice and mentioned/implied self esteem issues.

Pantalone’s body is on the softer side. It just clings onto fat and refuses to let it go. No, he’s not fat or chubby by any means, he’s actually rather svelte, it’s just that he doesn’t have a lot of muscle definition because childhood starvation ate away at his muscle mass and threw his metabolism out of whack.

His skin appears porcelain pure when he’s in public, in both colouration and even texture, but if you get close to him or catch him in private, you’ll see it’s just makeup. He has some imperfections in his skin, from getting kicked around all his life, childhood and even adulthood acne, and a bit of aging. His skin is also a little more sickly in complexion on some days, and he’s got rather prominent eye bags. Some days they’re lighter, other days it looks like he’s been hit in the face, so he usually covers up with makeup.

Which as an aside, I think he would enjoy makeup regardless, but most of the time it’s a coverup rather than anything actually fun.

Has a very thorough morning and evening self care routine, has a wide variety of lotions, ointments, oils, face scrubs, body scrubs, face masks, soaps, cleansers, it is insane. (Eat your heart out, Lush.)

Because he was very poor, he was unable to adequately take care of his teeth among other things. One of the first things he did once he started making money was get dental work done. I have such a strong mental image in my head of younger Pantalone on opening day for the Northland Bank with braces on.

Since then, he’s gone through several retainers and currently has a metal wire fitted behind his teeth (Thank you Machiko for your contribution). He also takes dental hygiene very seriously with brushing, flossing, mouth wash, etc..

Because of all this dental business, the ever smiling banker is actually very careful about how he smiles. He rarely ever smiles with his teeth due to his experiences with braces. They made him look younger than he really was, almost juvenile, and as such it made it difficult to be taken seriously because why would anyone listen to some crazy kid ranting about economics?

The only time you will see him smile with his teeth is if he is with someone he trusts, or someone has told a really, really funny joke.

He cares so much about his hair. He has all manner of shampoos, conditioners, oils, brushes, combs, accessories, and has put so much thought into how he chooses to style his luscious locks.

During his time in poverty, it was not uncommon for him to go for extended periods of time without washing or brushing his hair, which resulted in it being a tangled, matted mess when it was long. Even if he did have a brush on hand, it was just easier, faster, and less painful to cut it all off than try and untangle it.

Having long hair, to Pantalone, is a source of pride and comfort to him, as he can not only keep it from getting that bad again, but if he ever gets it cut, it’s because he wants to get it cut. Not because it’s too messy to fix, or too dirty, or full of lice, but because he is actively choosing of his own free will to have shorter hair.

He’s also been dyeing it black. He actually has more grey in his hair than he wishes to admit or show, so he regularly dyes it black save for one lock of grey hair. He thinks it makes him look distinguished and handsome. It does.

This whole thought process came to me because I was wondering if Pantalone would have had any sort of cosmetic surgery, and I think no. Not unless there just happened to be a cosmetic side effect. He’s naturally a very pretty man once you get him cleaned up and cared for, and he doesn’t want to be slowed down by recovery periods if they’re not even necessary.

(That doesn’t include gender affirming operations if you subscribe to the trans Pantalone agenda, which I do on occasion because as a transmasc enby he gives me the worst genderlust imaginable. Gender affirming surgeries are so much more than merely cosmetic, they’re life changing and even life saving.)

Pantalone carries himself with an abundance of confidence and pride in his appearance. He knows he is handsome, he takes great care to maintain his image, and he knows when and how to use it.

Still, when you spend so long trying to get to where you are, especially in regards to your appearance, there are things you cannot shake off so easily. Things people probably won’t even notice or care about if they do, but if you can see it, then so can everyone else. That’s why Pantalone goes to such lengths to appear the way he does, because people eat with their eyes first, and if they don’t like what they see, then they won’t bother.

#pantalone #genshin impact #genshin pantalone #pantalone headcanons

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bettathanyou · 5 months

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Cedric with an S/O whose love-language is food/cooking for him???

Anon YOU READ MY MIND. I LOVE COOKING SO THIS FEELS SO INDULGENT TO WRITEEEEEE TYSM FOR THE ASK!!!!

Enjoy ❣️🐟

Cedric The Sorcerer And S/O With Cooking Love Language!

Cedric and food have a... Complicated Relationship

I have a damn good hunch that man is autistic, so texture/sensory issues, lack of hunger cues, and just Not Wanting To Eat because he's doing something he thinks is too important is a prevalent issue

Of course, you couldn't just NOT do something about it. You loved to cook! You love most of all to cook FOR people

So you ask him about food during your long talks together. Cedric mentions a few basic things he likes, like turkey, stew, potatoes etc but he keeps it irritatingly vague

You try to ask Sofia and even the royal cooks about cedrics favorite meals

All you gleaned from Sofia was his love of sweets and the royal cooks were clueless

Great.

Back to square one!

So with your limited knowledge, you decide to start off by surprising him with breakfast. Using Sofias information, you make him really fluffy pancakes with a dusting of powdered sugar! (Think Japanese style)

To keep things suited to his liking, you put all extras on the side; maple syrup, cut up strawberries (you made them heart shaped) blueberries, melted chocolate, and whipped cream. With some orange juice to wash it all down!

Can't forget some edible flower garnish!

You walked to his door, knocking with your foot (your hands were too full lol)

Cedric thought it was someone else, and he was cranky at first about being disturbed so early in the morning. He opens his door with a scowl, brows knitted in the way you know meant annoyance

But when his eyes rest on you, carrying a huge platter of fresh food and drink, he had to do a double take

Just. Cedric with wide eyes, his jaw about to hit the floor, tripping over his words like. "Wh- what's all th-this for, then...?"

You just give him a big cheeky grin and reply, "For my favorite person <3"

Cedric ushered you into his tower, asking you what the occasion was for, and you could tell he was anxious and worried- so you give him a kiss on the cheek, and tell Cedric that you just wanted to do something nice, and make sure he was fed! You know how busy he can get, so you wanted the sorcerer to start his day with the most important meal of the day

Cedric doesn't know whether to thank you, kiss you, or cry

He kinda does all three 😭

After thanking you profusely, he insisted you share the food with him. He said that you made enough for TWO small armies and he won't be able to eat everything

You try to insist that it was made for *him*, but in the middle of your argument your stomach started growling

Cedric gives you a shit eating grin that screams "I win" and you just sit down with a huff and a (fake) pout

You both enjoy breakfast together, and Cedric literally doesn't shut up about how good everything is

He noticed the heart strawberries and you swear it was the softest smile you've ever seen

He finished his plate and it made your entire day

From that day on, you asked Cedric if you can make him a meal once or twice a week- just to get him accustomed to it

You grow to learn more about food he enjoys, from breakfast to lunch to dinner

Cedric really enjoys sweets for breakfast

A light lunch, because the last time you made something heavy the man slipped into a food coma for three hours

And dinner is your favorite time to cook for him, because you can show off your cooking skills and eat it with Cedric together and make it SUPER romantic

Most of all though, you just love making sure Cedric is fed and taking care of himself. The man is a workaholic to a fault, and you both know it! Which is why he always says thank you and make sure you know how much this means to him

Speaking of, Cedric would try to return the favor in little ways- giving you magic flowers that never wilt, a magic show after a meal, small little animal wind up toys he cobbles together in his spare time (can u guess what his love language is? Lol)

Since he is a picky eater, it's been trial and error to figure out what he likes and doesn't- lots of veggies are a no no, and you respect it and don't push the issue. But the veggies he does like, you use as much as you can! After a while, I could see Cedric trying to branch out a little bit and getting slightly more comfortable with food he previously disliked because you make it taste good (you want to believe he can taste the love)

You try to stick within his comfort zone for food, but sometimes you'll bring something for him to try to gauge where you can cook him new food

Regardless, Cedric adores the effort and care you put into making him food! He offers to even cook for you sometimes! (He conjures it lmao)

Which leads to him talking about food magic! It's quite interesting stuff

But no matter what, Cedric always feels smitten every time he has the pleasure of eating whatever you make for him

Seeing an empty plate from Cedric will always be the highest compliment to you :)

Alright, that's about all I got! I honestly want to expand on this more, maybe make some Cedric inspired recipes???? Would y'all be into that????

#cedric the sensational #cedricthesorceror #bettathanyou answers #cedric x reader #maybe... cedric recipes????#like. merlins mushroom soup???#merlins bread #but like an actual bread #cedric the sorcerer mixed drink 👀‼️#he seems like a whiskey guy if we're talking liquor #or rum #hes a brown liquor guy im calling it #however he usually would stick to wine #anyways lmk about the recipe thing cuz i love cooking and WOULD MAKE RECIPES FOR YALL DEADASS

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psi-spectacular · 4 months

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Since I saw @kibasniper111 do this for the campers, I wanna do some headcanons I have for the interns! Also they get sadder as you go down, be warned.

Raz

Trans kid who's fully accepted by his parents. Sorry I just really can't see the aquatos being transphobic and genuinely don't think transphobia is super common in the psychonauts universe? He's unlabeled at the moment and uses he/him pronouns.

Nona mixing up Raz's name with his brothers is because her brain had to connect Raz now having a boy name and connecting that to the other brothers so shes just a lil confused but shes got the spirit

He has (currently) undiagnosed autism, mostly because 1. there is no way the aquato family is able to afford a psychologist but 2. Augustus is also autistic and they have similar mannerisms, sensory issues, and stims so most of the family doesnt suspect that Raz is neurodivergent, they just think he takes after his father.

His helmet and googles are very much comfort items, but they also help with sensory issues. While they block out noise and reduce color in the area around him if needed, his helmet also stops him from constantly hearing the thoughts of others, which can easily overwhelm him.

He's mostly able to speak to smaller animals, mainly rodents like mice, rats, and squirrels, since they were the ones that were most common at different areas he would travel too.

He fell into water and almost drowned when he was little and that was the biggest thing that spurred the "hand of galocchio" thing.

Raz spent a lot of time in libraries and bookstores in the many towns he's traveled to in between practice and shows, and that was the way he discovered both his love for psychology and true psychic tales.

Raz is sensory seeking and douses everything he eats in hot sauce and spices. He'll try pretty much anything as long as its free and remotely edible. This extends to touch, he likes rubbing his hands on textured surfaces, especially velvet and fur.

He rubs his gloves on his face, bites, and scratches at them when he's stressed, so they're worn down where he's done it.

He has a plush toy Nona made him when he was a baby that used to be a rabbit but it's been repeatedly bitten, crushed, splattered in mud, and fixed so many times that it barely looks like a specific thing anymore, But he refuses to part with it no matter what.

His relationship with the junior agents goes from "eugh its weird having a kid here, we can't swear anymore." to "hello, this is our emotional support 10 year old, his name is shitfuck, we feed him moss, he's the golden retriver that keeps the cheetahs in our hearts from going insane, we constantly make fun of him and if you do anything to hurt his feelings no one will find your body."

Dona taught him how to forage and cook when he was little.

He enjoys dressing up and acting out roles whenever he can, and is very quick on his feet with his roles. He gets into LARPing later in life.

Raz doesn't have a specific specialty, so he's a bit of a jack of all trades when it comes to powers.

Morris

Another trans dude, Wowza. He's been out for a shorter time than Raz, but he's pretty comfortable with where he is right now. He's also bi! Woo.

He's peruvian, and was orphaned at a very young age before being adopted at around age 5 by his moms. He's currently 16.

He was one of Milla's orphans, but he was very young when the fire happened and he doesn't remember what happened or Milla, but his back did get injured in the fire and never fully healed, and that's why he's in the wheelchair.

His moms are rockabillies who own a motorcycle repair shop in the outskirts of Trujillo, They're big into 50's american culture and almost always have the radio on to whatever rock station is playing at the time, which helped inspire his love of radio and older fashion style. The albums he plays on KLOB are the only ones they let him bring because they were copies of records they already had.

He has a regular wheelchair with, you know, wheels, but when he fully learned levitation he found it easier to move around with a chair on a lev ball, especially on rougher terrain, so thats what he usually uses.

Despite his amount of Rizz he has no clue that Adam has a crush on him (not totally his fault, Adam's attempts of flirting are stuttery at best). He's just. Slightly oblivious to the feelings of others.

He acts like he doesnt care what people think. He very much does, and has some very overcompetative tendancies.

He and Gisu met in the motherlobe and have been part of the intern program for the longest, spending three years doing dumb shit in the woods while brushing off their intern duties or whatever they are.

He immediately took Queepie under his wing and they end up becoming really good friends, even if he isn't the greatest DJ. Cause he's, yknow, like 8.

Gisu

She/Her Intersex transmasc bisexual. Binds.

She's an Iranian immigrant who lives in a small town in the midwest, Same town as Lizzie and Norma. They're families know each other and they're childhood friends.

AuDHD and NPD.

She's an only child and lives with her mother and grandparents. She's slightly spoiled and they pretty much let her do whatever she wants, as long as she doesn't get arrested.

She's autistic and has a special interest in paleontology and robotics. She was part of her school's robotics team before joining the psychonauts.

She's very much a romantic, but tends to leap into crushes quickly and gets her heart broken.

Speaking of, she and Norma are QPPs.

Morris and her are besties and each others hypeman.

She has a tendency to work on her projects late into the night to the point of not noticing that its three in the morning by the time she finishes something.

She's easily able to focus on something that interests her, but if she doesn't think its something she would like to do, she procrastinates and avoids it like the plague. She gets easily distracted when she finally does get started.

Has a fursona. Its an otter.

BIG Boy band fan. All paul but also n-street, synced up boys, and whatever she can get her hands on. She doesn't care if its considered "trashy", it sounds good to her ears!

Also daft punk.

She loves Dion for his lack of swag and dumb barry b benson ass expressions

She was raised muslim and is personally agnostic but Sam convinced her Jesus and Moses were psychic and she constantly pisses Norma (catholic) off by bringing it up.

She's smart and gets good grades but doesn't have much respect for authority. She has A's and B's despite skipping most of her classes.

Adam

Transfem gay, but currently unaware of his gender, mostly from repression and not feeling the need to go too far inward. (Dont all guys wish they could wake up in the body of a girl and have no one question it and call him a she?) She/He, 16 years old.

She's from a rich, very influential family in britan known for having a lot of successful and gifted members. There's a lot of push for all the kids to do something "big" with their lives, and many begin to achieve that at very young, most having scholarships and awards at young ages.

And then there's Adam. Her biggest achievements are being

Truman's intern and that time she reached the quarterfinals of the county debate tournament. She's surrounded by ivy bound prodigies and musical geniuses and she's just… some history buff. She fades into the background noise, and feels like she's failing her family despite his best efforts.

Not fully conscious of the amount of wealth his family has. What do you mean your family doesn't send you 80 dollar tea overseas every month?

On a lighter note, He's taken it upon himself to become a bit of a "big brother" to Raz because he has a sibling around his age and he reminds her of them. She's trying to teach him how to play tetris. • As mentioned before, he has a crush on Morris but is terrible at flirting. He's one of Morris' few listeners on KLOB, but mostly does it because he enjoys hearing his voice.

She and Lizzie are absolutely TOIGHT. Lizzie immediately pinned her as a dweeb first time they met and she was right. They became a lot friendlier over time and were pen pals when Adam went back home after their first year.

Adam's eyes are all funky because he's got extra strong aura reading abilities, but the downside is that he basically goes blind for a while sometimes and has to orient around the world by seeing others auras and how they reflect off and affect objects.

Had a cringey katana-and-fedora phase when she was like 13. He tries to repress the memory. Her friends won't let her live it down because they have photo evidence.

Telekinesis specialist

Sam

CW For parental neglect, bullying, and parentification. Hoo boy lotta thoughts here.

Genderfluid Xenogendered Lesbian but not fully out to people who aren't the other junior agents. 14 and uses any pronouns but mainly she/her publicly.

Her family life is... strained. She lives in a pretty small town in the middle of nowhere, southeast america. Her family was normal when she still felt like a kid, but after Dogen acidentally blew up a bullies head, it became a frantic rush of lawyers, policemen, and hospital visits.

Since her parents were frequently away trying to figure out ways to mitigate Dogens abilities and find ways to settle the lawsuit they got, Sam would spend many hours alone. She quickly had to figure out how to cook and gather food outside to sustain herself because they would sometimes be in too much of a rush to prepare anything or be gone for longer than expected.

As things started to calm down, her parents would leave her alone with Dogen while they went off doing whatever else, and when they came back they would be too tired or too stressed to help her with anything.

She spent most of her days in the companionship of animals, almost always got up whenever Dogen was hungry or sick or had a nightmare, just to feed him and make sure he was okay.

Her parents basically treated her like a third adult when she was like 10, venting to her and letting her do most of the chores in the house when they were away, and they never really left her with a babysitter because she's "so mature for her age".

She has a strong fear of developing it herself, so she represses her anger. When someone is being mean to her and she starts focusing more on not blowing up than whats happening so she gets an unfocused look which leads to more teasing.

She eventually decided to just play into the "stupid weird girl" role, hoping being the butt of a joke in a friend group and making people laugh would help ease up her anger if she just laughs it off as her being dumb. (This ended up leaking into her and Norma's relationship and was part of the reason why they broke up.)

She did actually get in prison! She had a meltdown when the teasing became too much and attacked one of the girls in her "friend" group. She got sent to juvie for that. Her parents had to get a lot of recommendations from Compton to get her into the intern program and send her away.

The anxiety is genetic!!! Yayyyy!! Same with the autism.

Her trauma's left her with a very dysfunctional view of relationships and uses the animals as a way to feel like she has some control over her life and that she isn't a servant, she can lead too and help others improve themselves. This ended up leaking into

Heavy backstory stuff outta the way, back to the present. Sam's nickname is barncat because she runs off in the middle of the night and comes back the day after covered in mud and whatever else. She's basically made herself queen of the questionable area and forages for food and scrap metal at night. also she occasionally hacks up hairballs. no one wants to know why

Despite her.. questionable pancakes, Sam is actually a very good chef! She's just better at using more dubious ingredients.

She has PCOS and is on birth control to regulate it (projecting...)

Also IBS! She gets random tummy aches a lot and has zero clue why it happens.

Sam's kinlist includes raku chan gregor samsa and that canary she saw once when she was a kid

Sam constantly masks back home and the motherlobe is the only place she feels she can be weird and free. She used to have longer hair but she lopped it off sometime during her internship because dysphoria (i hc its like end of summer so near the end of the intern program that year)

Sam ends up deciding to become Raz's weird older sister. Sam has no braincells, raz simultaneously has a lot of and no braincells at the same time, but when they're together they somehow add up to -7. She gives Raz advice that ranges from suprisingly helpful to very dubious

She really does love her grandpa, even if she's seen less and less of him throughout her life.

Her specialty is zoolingualism, but I think she'd be skilled at abilities that require her hands, like Psi-Punch and confusion bombs. She used mental connection to create a lasso of sorts she calls "critical thinking" which lets her lasso enemies and tie them down.

Norma

Cw for emotional abuse and manipulation.

Norma's a trans girl, who uses she/her pronouns exclusively. She's a lesbian, 15 years old. She's also Afro-Filipina.

I've mentioned this, but her mother is the mayor of the town they're from. They've very much in the higher rung of their town when it comes to wealth.

Norma's mother is very cold and analytical, constantly seeing most things she does as transactional. Every positive interaction is a step towards a vote, every negative action reflects badly on her status. Average politician. This extends to her daughters and how she expects them to act.

She's the kid that's always trying to be on her parents good side, because failure isnt tolerated in their family and definite high expectations for both sisters and how they're supposed to behave. The two of them constantly needed to fight to get their mothers affection and love. But Lizzie's pretty much given up on trying to appease her, so despite her powers being seen as "less rare", she's the preferred child now.

Her mom uses her as a token of "I'm not transphobic! I have a trans kid!" Despite, in private, constantly misgendering her and insisting she barely change her name (norman to norma) You know how transphobes are a minority in this verse? Yeeep. Its better for her mom to pretend her views are something else so she can get more votes.

Should I add the two of them had a catholic upbringing? Big amount of guilt on her end but at the same time a sense of superiority and entitlement. She's devout and retreats into religious studies as a coping mechanism

Raz makes her feel threatened in her status as "#1 student" and she's very aggressive about it.

She's still not over her and Sam's breakup and is slowly starting to obsess over her and why it ended.

Norma is a big fan of detective shows like Columbo, Sherlock, and Death Book. She absolutely wants to be a detective and solve mysteries, part of the reason why she joined the intern program.

She has NPD, BPD, Autism, and struggles with insomnia.

Despite her last name, neutral to christmas.

Shes a teachers pet and would remind the teacher of the homework just to piss a specific person off.

Touch averse, only lets people she trusts touch her.

She's a closet weeb and uses her psychic abilities to make her glasses glow like an anime character

She has a sherlock based tumblr (or livejournal or whatever you want them to use) and gets into ship discourse at 3 am. She also writes amateur death note yaoi. On paper. She gets so embarassed about it she burns it as soon as she's done.

She misses the time she spend with her sister and envies how much freedom she has from rebelling against her parents. She wishes she could do the same but also wishes they could go back to normal so Lizzie can have a seat at the dinner table again.

She can do glassblowing with her hands.

Lizzie

Same CWs as Norma, Cw for emotional abuse and manipulation.

She's closeted genderqueer and a lesbian, uses They/She pronouns. She and Norma are twins but Norma insists she's the older one.

She's just given up on her relationship with her parents. No matter what they do, she isn't going to go back to constant competition and stress. She doesn't want that anymore. The Natividad sisters give off "rich parents in a gated community" vibes but Lizzie abhors their entire lifestyle and spends like 90% of her time outside the house doing random shit

She's realized the privilege that comes with her position, and decided to hang out more in punk spaces and with kids considered "teen delinquents" or "the wrong crowd".

She prefers dumpsterdiving and thrifting over the stuff her parents buy her, stitching and crafting her own clothes is an act of rebellion because they constantly scold her for wearing "Rags".

Her parents finally gave up, deciding to go "Fine, you want to be stubborn? We'll just pretend you don't exist." They give her somewhere to live but otherwise don't acknowledge her existence in the family until she learns to behave. She created a second hangout spot in an abandoned building with her friends and she'd spend long hours there.

She'd rather be a high school slacker who hangs out with poorer punk kids who arent "in the right groups" and actually have a social life than fighting for the spot of "perfect precious angel child" for the rest of her life. No matter how many punishments they give her. She won't let anyone know, but the way her parents treat and talk about her really hurts.

She has undying hatred for hostile architecture and drags Norma along to melt the spikes.

She fake smokes. Using candy cigarettes and using her powers to make smoke because it makes her look cool but she doesn't want lung cancer.

Very into Christmas but more into the gift making and pagan traditions.

She reads vampire romance novels for flirting tips (and also cuz they're her guilty pleasure). She also pretends to be a vampire sometimes.

She enjoys going cryptid hunting and scouring local forums for information.

Hates wearing fancy dresses. Ripped up skirts and suits ONLY.

Introduced Norma to anime, favorite is Akira and fave manga is Battle Angel Alita.

#psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #headcanons #long post #cw emotional abuse #cw neglect #razputin aquato #morris martinez #gisu nerumen #adam joseph gette #sam boole #norma natividad #lizzie natividad #lots of thoughts im dumping out

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sovonight · 9 months

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what's exhausting about bg3? I know me and a few others haven't been able to get it bc we're poor and I wanted your take on how it's exhausting if you don't mind

i called it exhausting for ace reasons so if you're not super ace you'll be fine. i do have other disappointments though:

visual character customization is lacking

like okay i'd bought the game blind so my disappointment is 100% on me, but can you blame me for assuming based on posts of people raving about the customization options and saying they 'made their oc' that there would be a fully-fledged cc with sliders for facial features and everything??

what you get is just a set of like 8 preset faces (for human/elf/half-elf/tiefling/etc at least) and 2-4 body options. there's an impressive amount of hairstyles at least, but what the fuck does that matter if i can't even really customize my character's face. there's not even much you can do with the textures--you only get a palette of pre-approved colors instead of a color picker, there's no option to flip or translate tattoos/facepaint, and you can't even layer makeup textures. the ui design here is very clunky too which just underlines how low of a priority it must've been

on one hand i get it, this all costs time and money and they clearly had a lot on their plate with the actual meat of the game, but on the other hand my character gets the most closeups on the camera in dialogue/cutscenes, so why can't i do more with their appearance?? the character customization possibilities everyone raved about really just boil down to class, stats, & numbers, so basically more like arpg character building, where it's more about gameplay than the character

don't get me wrong, the race/background/class you pick do influence dialogue options, but i can't do something as standard as sculpt my character's face?? are you kidding me?? like, if they're not gonna let me do that, then what the fuck are all these high res glossy graphics for?? everyone else in this game gets a unique look except for me, huh? if they care that little they might as well turn this back into a text-centric game and let me import a custom png for my character like in the old days

there are a few points in the game where i was like, they really took the trouble to write and pay a voice actor to voice responses based on player actions to that level of specificity… when that time and money could've been put towards the cc. like yeah it's impressive, but it's empty. i don't need this character to voice my exact actions--i KNOW i took those actions--i want something of worth to me.

navigating the map is kind of a pain

you use the keyboard to control the camera, and you use the mouse to click where you want the character to go. the issue i have with this is that the camera is SO frustrating to orient and zoom in and out sometimes--they go through great pains to try and not show the insides of any 3d models while you're moving the camera, and they'll cut away the rooftops and other levels for you, but sometimes the game just Doesn't Understand What I'm Trying To See. like they've made it so ~elegant~ and ~presentable~ that it gets in my way. i constantly feel like i'm fighting the controls--not just of the camera, but the movement too. tbf, i don't know how this could be made better so i think what they did was the best solution, but i do get very frustrated

there's no undo button if i click "hide" by accident

unlike literally every other button on the hotbar, there's no "click again to confirm" or "right click to cancel". they just instantly hide and that bonus action is WASTED

you can enable tutorial-like informative popups, but they forget to teach you some of the most basic ways to interact with the world

there's a heavy rock at some point that's "too heavy to throw" but is clearly meant to be interacted with. …you're supposed to click and drag to "drag" it away. i had to look up what to do with it and i'm not crazy because MANY people had the same question!! not to mention those small tunnels around the environment where your character's like "well I'M too large to fit in there" and i'm like "oh i'll summon my tiny familiar and have them scurry in there!" only for the tunnel to be like "uh your familiar can't interact with me actually". so i give up because i'm over it at that point and i go online hours later to look it up and SOMEONE SAYS YOU CAN SEND YOUR FAMILIAR THROUGH THE TUNN-- (at this point i have keeled over in rage)

you can press left alt to highlight interactable items, but they only highlight what they think is important based on their own mysterious criteria. you have to sweep around like it's an i-spy game to figure out ALL the interactables in the area

i would like this if the CAMERA WERE EASIER TO OPERATE and if--actually no! no! i would NEVER like this! either highlight everything or highlight nothing at all, don't waste my time! i understand that some stuff is left unhighlighted so that the characters can roll perception checks and go "OH! a hidden lever!" but JUST TELL ME OUTRIGHT WHERE THE CRATES ARE. i play with an unavoidable glare on my screen and also, frankly, i have better things to do than squint and pick out every item in the room. let me get my meagre satisfaction from looting and be done with it!

there is absolutely no firm indication of when you might be stepping into an exclusively romantic or sexual line of dialogue

i would like this if i could turn the sex off. like set sex to no. i'm a fan of not having too many dialogue indicators or visible approval bars, BUT ONLY when i know i can relax and feel comfortable in the game. this game loves suggestive wording so i can never tell whether a scene could just be played platonically or not. like (early spoiler) gale invites you to a private magic lesson that he says can only take place in an intimate setting, so you meet him after the party, alone. given the other conversations i'd just experienced (from the fighter & the vampire) i was like great this is going to be sexual isn't it, but i was weak and wanted character interaction so i gave in and i went--and then IT WASN'T??? in fact you could play it totally platonically?? so i almost MISSED a perfectly good companion interaction because of the overly suggestive way it was worded!

"sovo are you sure that isn't just gale's personality to say it like that" YES BECAUSE EVERY COMPANION EXHIBITS THIS. it's woven into the companions, into the narration, into all the word choices. it's just a suggestive game all around, the atmosphere NEVER goes away, even when it's just a false alarm. it's part of why it's so ABSOLUTELY exhausting--because i know every other person playing this and seeing this is having a blast, and i'm the only one out here with my guard up and 10 layers of emotional shielding because i CAN'T like any companions because they're GOING to proposition my character at some point and i WILL take emotional damage when my only options are "yes let's enter a fully animated sex scene!" or "no i fucking hate your guts". do you see?? do you see my pain?? where is the middle option--the compromise?? and oh yeah, the rest of the real life world thinks my complaints are baseless, ridiculous, and avoidable. "just don't fucking play, idiot!" but do i not deserve to have fun as well? can i not get a CRUMB of something in a world where i have to make everything myself?? just once, can i play a game and have it fit--not perfectly, but at least fit??

just give me the heart icons of da:2/da:i. tell me when i'm walking into a flag i don't want to raise. better yet, when the game asks whether or not you want nudity enabled, add an option there to opt out of romance too. i say romance even though all i want is to opt out of the sex dialogue options bc as we all know romance and sex can NEVER be separated--

anyway those are my gripes. the things i like about it are… well, there are a few fights where i was like, oh that's cool that it actually uses the environment and/or teaches you a mechanic about the game that you can put into use later. the environmental puzzles are interesting, but all satisfaction is lost when i have to look up the basic mechanics they rely on that i was never taught or made aware of in-game. but i don't play games like these for gameplay, i play them for the story and the companions and the romance, so given this specific game i guess i should just keel over and die

#sovo answers #kind of holding out hope that i can make it to sorcerous sundries to see it in 3d but since that's near the end and #i haven't even left the first map.. i'm not optimistic

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rickfucker · 1 year

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Literally love ur Rick hc’s, particularly delving into his autism which I think is great because I feel like it’s not explored as much in the show. How do u think Rick would act with an autistic partner with different needs? Like with sensory aversions to food, etc.,? I’ve been thinking about it a lot!

This took a bit of thinking to try and word this right. Totally not something I’ve fully thought through before but this was so fun!!

I feel that coping with a lot of these things is second nature to Rick. He’s very no nonsense about his own needs. They’re just things he knows he has to do to stay alive and sane. He lacks in certain areas, don’t we all, like his sleep schedule or staying hydrated. His needs are probably bound to be a little different from your own just because of the eccentric way he lives his life, but learning your preferences is secretly a little subconscious joy to him, just glad to have someone around who gets it.

Thinking about the opening scene to that one season 6 episode, when they’re eating at Panda Express, Rick is the only one at the table with something different to eat. It literally just occurred to me that this is totally why!! He can easily pick up on your texture issues and favorite foods just by spending time with you. He is so obviously very observant.

Needless to say, he will always get your order right. Bonus points if you guys like or dislike the same foods. He loves to complain, so complaining to someone who understands is extra fun for him.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, this seems overly considerate for Rick. But like I said, needs are just needs to him. He understands that you experience the world a little differently without even putting that much thought into it. His actions aren’t really considerate, at least in his eyes, its more like its just the logical thing to do.

If you’ve got a need that he could invent some tech for, he is THERE. I don’t know if y’all have this issue, but ear defenders squeeze my head like a grape. They’re so uncomfortable, but I need the sound cancelling or I will lose my mind. If you have a similar issue where accessibility products are lacking something for you, he’ll be on the mission to make a replacement that better suits your needs the same day you complain about it for the first time. Maybe he even makes one for his own personal use.

I imagine he already has implemented certain accessibility tools, like manual dimmers for the garage lights, sound proofing in his room, etc. So it really isn’t a big deal to him to build on top of that if necessary.

Thank you for this ask!! i love it

#rick sanchez #rick and morty #rick sanchez x reader #rick sanchez fanfic #ask #anonymous #rick sanchez headcanons #mesa writes

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tay-kpop · 7 months

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The obey me brothers reacting to a reader that is autistic!

(I am a huge fan of the obey me games so I am doing this as well cause I haven't seen anyone do this yet.)

Lucifer.

Lucifer would be very curious from the start but wouldn't ask at first.

But as time goes on and as you get more comfortable in the devildom and as more of your Stims show the more he get curious about you and your disability.

And when you are alone with him that is when he asks.

"Y/N, do you have any human disability? I have noticed some things you do that gives off that you do."

And when you say yes and that you have autism it doesn't surprise him but he will do any research he can about your disability so he knows how to help.

Mammon.

When you first showed up you were non verbal (because you were in a new setting) and mammon at first found that kinda frustrating since he is the opposite of that.

So he would be doing absolutely to make you talk, so when you do talk to him for the first time it was kinda surprising.

When he found out you were autistic he was kinda confused, he didn't know what that was but he knew he had to learn more.

Leviathan.

With Levi, I feel like he would figure it out way sooner than any of the others would.

I have this headcanon in my head that Levi is autistic to so I feel like he would've figured it out very quickly that you were as well.

I feel like he is really private about it though which is why the other brothers don't really know all that much about that specific talk.

And when you join him in his room he would say "Hey Y/N, are you autistic?" And when you nod and say "yes, why do you ask?"

"Because I am as well" Levi said as he looked at you and you said "oh, I had a feeling but I didn't want to ask cause i was scared that it might have been considered mean.." as Levi just looked at you with a small smile.

Satan

When you first arrived satan was very curious about you, since you don't really talk all that much.

And when you got to know all of them better he looks at you straight up and asks "are you autistic Y/N?" You said yes and he smiled at you.

And after he found out he would always make you feel comfortable with him, making sure to find out about your interests and learn all that can about them, whether it would be with books or his DDD.

Asmodeus

When asmo first started flirting with you you just thought he was being friendly. And when you first arrived that was when he was starting to flirt with you.

He was surprised by that, he really hadn't experienced stiff like that In the past, in fact actually the way he found out you were autistic it was because of Satan telling him.

And after that he went to Solomon asking him questions about that and he was like "oh, so that is what autism is about?" And "Oh that is a very common thing for them to feel." And after he was done talking to Solomon he would also do some research of his own.

And when he finds out about the sensory issues as well he would make sure to find clothing that comfortable to you while also at the same time bringing you outside of your comfort zone with your consent. And the same goes for makeup and skincare as well.

Beelzebub

When you first show up he doesn't really have any thoughts. But he quickly grows to like you and want to friends.

And when he finds out you are autistic he says "what is that?" And when you explain what it really is he says "oh, and of those things is sensitivity to textures.. especially in things like food and clothing."

He would do all of the research he can about your disability and will make sure your safe and comfortable.

Belphegor

Belphie when he met you while he was up in the attic was an.. interesting circumstance.

You said to him "so you were the one talking to me about helping you?" He nodded and said "I need your help, I was trapped by a demon.." and I was all history since then.

And when he tried to kill you after he escaped he still didn't know you were autistic, cause you just really didn't have the time to do so.

But when he found out, he was absolutely horrified at his actions, he did some horrible stuff to you, yet you still were so sweet and kind to him, he would make sure ever since then to make you feel happy and comfortable around him, and would give the best cuddles.

So yeah! That is it! Thank you guys so much for reading! Likes and reblogs would be greatly appreciated! ❤

Love you everyone! Goodbye! 👋🏻

#obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor

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church-of-lilith · 1 year

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I would like to see the neurodivergent Abbott character notes? 👀

hello anon! for those who don’t know, this ask is in response to this post of mine. and i am here to provide you my notes. they’re long but here’s all my musings about each of the characters and my headcanons for them in terms of neurodivergency.

please note that I am in no way qualified to be making any of these headcanons. i’m not a medical professional i’m a teenager with autism & adhd just out here calling it like I see it.

Gregory Eddie

Gregory definitely shows signs of autism, and this is probably the most popular headcanon of the whole show.

- In canon right now I don’t believe he is diagnosed or ever really thought about or explored the possibility of being neurodivergent. His father doesn’t seem like the type to ever support him getting a diagnosis in early life. Moments that stuck out to me as an autistic person to lead me to this conclusion:

- His relationship with Gritty in the season 2 premiere. The whole “I just don’t get Gritty” thing. It’s a common thing for autistic people to not understand elements of culture that are important to most people. Gregory didn’t understand the hype around Gritty, and didn’t anticipate the negative backlash he would get from his coworkers upon admitting so.

- His ongoing problems with food, most notably in the episode where pizza is discussed. He has stated in canon before that there are only certain foods he can eat because of different issues with texture/temperature/flavor. i.e. “fruit should not be hot.” his boiled chicken sandwich, only eating pure dark chocolate. while I would not make these same choices in my eating habits, I understand having the ick towards certain foods. this is an autistic trait.

- Taking things too practically. Often times autistic people struggle to understand metaphors and take them way too literally. One of the examples of this I can think of in recent times was a conversation he had with Barbara in which she encouraged him to work through his problems. She said something along the lines of “This color does not look good on you.” Referring to the way he was acting. Later, he confesses to the camera that he thought he was dressed nicely that day. Clearly misunderstanding what she was trying to say.

- Having to stay organized with absolutely everything. We see this at the beginning of season two where he attempts to plan every day of the year down to the minute in order to stay in line with teaching guidelines. This, of course, before Barbara steps in and helps him realize this is improbable. Just the way he reacts at the idea of getting off schedule is incredibly reminiscent of how some people with autism become overwhelmed at the idea of things not going the exact right way.

- Gregory also really enjoys sticking to schedules. In the fire episode he tells Janine he has the fire drill schedule memorized. And during the teacher’s conference episode his need to have a schedule in order to feel comfortable is mentioned multiple times.

- In the teacher’s conference episode Gregory and Janine have a conversation about romance and relationships. He expresses that he feels like he is the problem in all of his relationships. That he’s the ‘weird’ one, so different that no one ever wants to stay. As an autistic person this one was extremely relatable to me.

In conclusion I wait for the day his neurodivergence is properly explored in canon. Because I do believe the day will come. And so does SLR apparently because at one point she tweeted an article about Gregory being great autistic representation. And then deleted it (😭)

Janine Teagues

Janine is also autistic, and let me tell you why. It all goes back to her velcro shoes (among other things but just let me have this moment real quick).

- In one of the season 2 episodes Janine talks about never learning how to tie her shoes and still not being able to, so as a result she wears velcro shoes. This is a very common (if not universal) autistic experience. It’s also a sign of childhood neglect but that’s a conversation for another day.

- As we know, she also has a problem picking up on social cues. She doesn’t let this stop her, and often does not have the social awareness to recognize when others are uncomfortable with something she’s saying or the way she’s acting until she is explicitly told so. We see this throughout the series but one moment that stuck out to me specifically was in the episode where she goes to Melissa’s house for cooking lessons. When she first gets there she won’t stop talking about her family relationships and doesn’t understand that Melissa wants her to stop talking as she loudly grinds the blender to drown her out. Even Melissa realizes it’s a moot point after awhile and gives up.

- Keeping a proper schedule and staying organized is also very important to her, (not as severely as Gregory) but still notably enough that she would probably get upset at any major variations. During the sick day episode when Ava has to sub for her we see that she has very detailed plans, like.. binders worth of plans. And she keeps her class on a tight schedule with story time, and listening to music, etc.

- Janine has the undeniable urge to fix literally every problem that comes her way. Even if the problem isn’t hers, she is so confident that she can fix it despite anyone or anything logically telling her that hey, maybe she shouldn’t. Once she gets her mind set on something, though, she cannot let it go. She has to be in control of every situation—or at least feel like she is.

Melissa Schemmenti

Probably the next most canon neurodivergent character. Personally I headcanon her as having ADHD, and at this point she canonically has dyslexia.

- Obviously in terms of her dyslexia we have that whole episode where she helps one of her students with difficulties reading.

- The way she talks with the student’s parents about getting her tested/possibly getting a diagnosis and then is clearly upset when the parents react negatively really stuck with me. Obviously when she first realized she was neurodivergent as a kid she didn’t have the resources to figure any of that out. It makes me think that she was initially resistant to getting diagnosed as she grew older (No doctor could tell her more about herself than she could. And if it ain’t broke don’t fix it right?) But at some point when she started teaching she realized she owed it to herself and in some part to the students she would be teaching to really figure herself out.

- Melissa strikes me as someone who is very impatient and gets easily frustrated with herself. But she would never get frustrated at a student who’s struggling with reading or otherwise. She doesn’t know how to go easy on herself.

- The reason I headcanon her as having ADHD is because of the way she self stims in some scenes. One that comes to mind specifically is when she’s arguing with Gregory about pizza and rocks herself back and forth.

- In one episode Melissa also has problems hearing things. It’s not mentioned again that I can remember but the auditory processing issues can be a sign of inattentive adhd (although if anything I’d say she shows some signs of both inattentive and hyperactive)

- Melissa’s obsession with firetrucks is something I would be remiss not to mention here. It’s a delightful hyperfixation and I love her for it. Her insistence on sharing this knowledge and trying to get others to enjoy her hyperfixation also screams neurodivergence to me.

Ava Coleman

Ava definitely has hyperactive ADHD. I see this a lot in the way she talks and acts.

- One of the most common signs of hyperactive ADHD is impulsivity. I would say that she makes a lot of impulsive decisions, specifically when it comes to shopping. In early season 1 we see her spending all of the school’s extra money on a large sign, for example. She also has a LOT of clothes to the point that she has her own business selling them. She also jumps into pyramid schemes with great ease.

- Another sign of that is talking excessively (and also at greater speeds). Ava talks pretty fast at times, and is always the first one to jump into a conversation with her thoughts. She has a hard time waiting her turn in conversations.

- The way she acts with the students in the episode where Gregory sends Micah to the principal’s office makes me think that Ava can relate to being ‘the problem child’ when she was in school. Her being hyperactive (unable to sit still, talking incessantly, acting impulsively etc.) makes sense under this lens. Her teachers likely wouldn’t be able to recognize her ADHD and would label her a problem, meaning she probably spent a lot of time in the principal’s office as a child herself.

Barbara Howard

My general analysis of Barbara is that she has OCD and suffers from repressed lesbianism. Both of these are rooted in her extremely religious upbringing.

- I do believe that a lot of Barbara’s OCD comes in the form of fixating on the rightness vs wrongness of things. And that this stems from her religious upbringing. An example of this is with Tamika’s mom and her utter fixation on the woman freely using profanities. This is wrong, so the woman must be immoral, and that’s a problem. When she actually gets to know Tamika’s mom and realizes that she’s actually a pretty great person, she doesn’t know how to comprehend that until Ava puts it into perspective for her. This can apply to herself too, (not wanting to roll around in the mud with melissa or having a crisis learning she’s been in the wrong with lighting her candles on school grounds.)

- Her interest in religion and the church borders on compulsive. This is why she’s very overtly religious, (introducing herself as a woman of god to anyone who will listen etc.) From a very young age I imagine that she’s had the idea of morality and being right instilled in her, which developed into this obsession as she got older.

- Barbara also seems very comforted by following a routine. She and Melissa have had the same spots at their table for years. She goes to the same place to get her nails done every week.

Jacob Hill

I do believe that Jacob suffers from an anxiety disorder of some kind. And also possibly autism but I’m less confident about that.

- Jacob comes across as a very nervous person. I suspect that this may come from his childhood although we don’t know much about it. He strikes me as a kid who was never really heard. That he’s always had a lot to say, but always somehow faded into the background when talking to parents/family. Him joining improv would add up with this, as it would finally make him the center of attention and force people to pay attention to him after being ignored by those closest to him for so many years.

- Similarly to Janine he’s not great at picking up on social cues. He doesn’t understand that people don’t appreciate his infodumping about random topics until he is explicitly told so. We see this most highlighted in the desking episode where we meet Zach for the first time and see his methods of helping Jacob stay on track of the conversation and prevent him from straying too far off topic

- He talks fast which is also something attributed to anxiety. It would also add up if he did struggle to get all his thoughts out as a kid as I suspect. Talking fast is a habit he’s grown into as an adult, so that no one can interrupt him or talk over him. If he gets all his thoughts out he doesn’t have to worry about not being heard.

- In a recent episode he talked about having night terrors, which definitely connects back to having anxiety. (Although we don’t know now frequently he has them or if that was just a one time thing). The way he reacts to the thought of Abbott turning charter also screams chronic anxiety to me. He loses it because it’s a situation he cannot anticipate.

Mr. Johnson

“Is the single most well adjusted man I’ve ever met.”

#abbott elementary #character analysis #neurodivergence #gregory eddie #barbara howard #melissa schemmenti #janine teagues #ava coleman #jacob hill #mr. johnson #janine’s velcro shoes had an insane hold over me #I wouldn’t shut up about them for weeks

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invested-in-your-future · 1 year

Text

Just because I got few similar asks asking about that

The issue with "Fixing" a writing of a show is that you are naturally assuming you are only fixing specific "season" and that there will be a point in the show when the writing "goes back" to being coherent and proper.

So for example, if you are trying to fix Volume 4 as Volume 5 is airing, you might, consciously or subconsciously, hope that V5 ending is where everything once again "clicks" and thus you just need to alter what doesn't work in V4 and what doesn't in V5.

So you think up of which parts should be changed. And sure that might mean entirety of Menagerie location needs to go (because real world implications of that whole arc are just...NO and you can probably think up a better WF storyline in half a hour with how bad that was) and Port needs to disappear off the face of this fictional story and pointless empty scenes of Ruby and Co walking through exact same forest textures need to be changed, but the structure might still work right? They are still traveling towards a specific goal right? So you just have to change HOW they get to that goal, because there is a goal right??? And then You just need to tweak the elements that don't work in V5 up to the ending where you hope things might get shaken up a bit more and go back on track.

But then V5 ends and the writing's still a mess. And before you manage to quite think through what to do, V6 starts and the writing is STILL a mess and what's more, it has a whole new set of problems and by this point you realize that for example, the entire structure of Kingdom of Mistral doesn't quite make sense, as if "someone" just plopped bunch of town locations in a straight line and then used Google's translation feature to just make up bunch of names for them, because entire continent is ultimately just an irrelevant detour.

Whoops, now you have to review what you did with fixing earlier parts and see if new problems arose, change up the geography of the story a bit, etc. You just realized that there's not really "a point" to the adventure of traveling through Mistral anymore so you need to think something up as you realize that the main character of the entire story has absolutely zero character growth from V3. The show is back to status quo yet again and its like V4 through V5 are completely pointless.

You realize, that Ruby Rose, the character that went through some of the most lifechanging events ever, just spent two seasons just ambiguously walking through bunch of forest areas and towns.

What's more, the team is back together but literally nothing that happened has been addressed in anyway and there's no actual growth of the characters at all. That can't be right. Right? Surely at least Yang and Blake w-... Oh no...

Resigned, you go back to your thoughts about what would need to change in V4 and a lot has to change once again to make Mistral anything but one huge pointless detour.

But its okay you th-...wait what's that sound? Its as if, somewhere just outside, a train just went off the rails as it was crossing a bridge and then somehow managed to jump over a shark and then exploded as it hit the ground...Whoopsie daisy.

In this exact moment, the writing throws you the infamous "Salem Flashback Episode", "The Lost Fable", and accidentally entire lore is now broken completely and it might be one of the worst written things in the entire show till that point, that kind of trivializes multiple mysteries people were waiting for and makes the writing for lead villain extremely tropey and honestly (yet again, as you start to notice a pattern in how the show writes women) misogynistic and if you want to make things work you might as well redo that too. Wait..."that" as in what??? As in the entire core of why the show is happening in the first place? THAT's broken? Well F-...

So now you barely started sorting out the mess of V5 (because its entire volume of basically literally nothing happening and whatever interesting happens always gets off-screened) and the show-proper just basically NUKED almost all of it's set-up and more than half of it's mysteries.

You realize you are staring at an episode that honestly can compete with worst seasons of Voltron in how bad it is. You actually start to think it might compete with the second genLOCK season in awfulness, but end up not thinking it can be THAT bad. I mean the show will never go bad as genLOCK S2, riiight?

Its okay, its okay - you have been theorycrafting RWBY stuff since the first trailers hit. You've read all the song lyrics which are filled with all these immaculate hints at the intent behind the show, thoughts of various characters and where things are going, you can maybe piece together something other than another "disgruntled manipulative woman" storyline. The songs having actual lore is great. I mean they wouldn't just suddenly throw that away, right? As that thought hits you, a sense of dread starts to overcome you.

And thus as another disaster closes in. at this point, little does your past self know that in the future, few years latter, the show will deliver a whole season of nothing but train crashes, but this time the sharks being jumped will talk like humans do.

So yeah... you can't really "Fix RWBY". Sure parts like Ren and Nora's backstory episode are nice and there are moments that felt good otherwise, but at that point, pretty much majority of post-V3 stuff is outright unusable. At this point to Fix RWBY means to redo literal core reasons on why the story is happening, how the world and it's lore works, motivations of the characters and, well, everything...

And that's how you end up with a file over hundred pages long that quietly has chronicled both your efforts to make sense of what the show even wants to be, as well as the show's descent into just complete randomness...

After all, when a writing team writes EVERY volume as one huge pointless detour that in no way actually enhances the characterization or story, at some point the whole train is bound to derail and crash...over and over again.

#RWBY #RWDE #rwby stuff mine #Ruby Rose #whoops I just kind of ended up writing a critique of ENTIRE RWBY SHOW while writing that

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