#it also does not help that i have an incredibly stupid class that i am required to take otherwise i’ll like. get kicked out

[alxclaremont]

someone please pray for my sanity i start classes tomorrow and i dont wanna

#it does not help thst my schedule somehow got fucked up and i now have my math class and government class at the exact same time #luckily. it is not until tuesday. so hopefully my advisor emails me back tomorrow and is able to fix it #because i cannot do it myself #it also does not help that i have an incredibly stupid class that i am required to take otherwise i’ll like. get kicked out #and it’s so so so so stupid #like. i wss looking at the syllabus and everything on canvas because everything is already posted and genuinely middle schoolers could do #these assignments and pass with flying colors im not even joking #it’s so annoying that i have to take it #i am very glad it’s only one semester #maybe i will go to a bagel shop on campus and treat myself after class. i think i deserve that tbh #it literally doesn’t even feel like im in college yet #like. it had not hit and i’ve been hear a week and a half #truly bonkers #lacey talks

[aurae-rori]

DR RATIO ANALYSIS: PART 2, ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

SPOILERS FOR 2.1 CONTENT.

Now, you might be saying - "Aurae, you already did one, why do you need a second?" And my answer is, "LORD, I FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT HOW HIS DEFINITION OF 'IDIOT' IS DIFFERENT. AND ALSO HE DOES NOT HATE AVENTURINE NOR DOES HE THINK AVENTURINE IS STUPID." Once again, here is my disclaimer - although I have been researching psychology for a solid six years, I am NOT a professional. (I will be, one day. Just you wait, just youuuu wait-) So understand that everything I say has been analyzed with personal judgement, with my own conclusions, come to with logic and my personal interpretation. This is just what I have concluded, and you are always free to disagree.

This is my legacy. To be an analyzer. So let's go.

Okay, now that my disclaimer is over, let's take off Ratio's plaster head and chuck it into the sea, and see - what does he mean by 'idiot'?

This will be much shorter than my last, so don't worry - I will not be flashbanging you with another 4k words. This is more like a follow up, than anything else, because there's a few things I wish to touch on.

Dr. Ratio doesn't hate idiots in the sense that he hates people that have 'low IQ' or are 'stupid' in terms of being 'slow to understand'. I definitely touched on this in my last analysis, but he hates people who take their education for granted and don't go places with the gifts that they've been given. He hates "idiots" - "narrow minded" people who have the capabilities to do more and perceive more than they choose to do. People who deliberately look away or take what they know and what they could do for granted. He wants to open people's eyes and allow them to see life from multiple different angles and he believes that everyone should have a chance to learn - with the whole "knowledge for everyone" thing he's got rolling.

He wears a plaster head around people he doesn't seem to know too well in order to think more, or so that he doesn't have to see the faces of the people he dislikes. Pretty good roast. However, he does NOT wear that plaster head around Aventurine. Let's listen to the doctor's judgement - Aventurine is far from stupid. Although he likes to chalk up a lot of the things he does to his own luck, he is an INCREDIBLY capable individual who's managed to get this far because of his own form of genius. He's a man who relies on chance and good fortune, yes, but his charm, his way of scheming, and the way that he's good with people? That's skill. A talent he doesn't take for granted. Dr. Ratio respects him for this - because despite the fact that he has no proper education, he has his eyes wide open to the world and doesn't take shit for granted. He learns what he can in order to survive and he does it fucking well - Aventurine is a very smart man. He's observant, quick on his feet, and great at going with the flow and thinking in the moment.

Aventio aside, I actually believe that Dr. Ratio would be a really good teacher to those who struggle. He's patient where it's needed to be, even if he's got a quick temper, and I believe in his pursuit for knowledge he would do his best to go out of his way to find strategies that would work for their individuals. We're all unique, and he's aware of this - and because he wants to allow people to think for themselves, whatever helps the individual works. Depression? He's got a psych degree, I'm sure bro could give you some strategies. Autism? He has a touch of the 'tism himself. ADHD, and not feeling organized? Bro will help you. It's canon that he's a great fucking teacher - those who finish his classes go on to become successful people who are intelligent and critical thinkers. Round of applause for Ratio, the man that kins my father. He's shit at emotions, but great at knowledge.

Also, on that note, I believe that he would most likely hate parents that push thier "gifted" students to the limit without any compassion for the person that they really are. He's most definitely got some of that academic trauma so I believe that bro holds a secret disdain for parents who just use their children to gain more recgonition. Well, not so secret. He'd cuss them out. (Ratio please cuss out the horrible parents.)

Dr. Ratio, the Teacher ever. (Hey, maybe he'd get along with Kunikida...)

Also, I am definitely planning on making a fic where he teaches Aventurine Latin. As long as you're eager to learn and willing to look past the chalk being thrown, he's got a place for you.

Thanks for coming to my tedtalk. I did not read this through, so this is not edited. Take my unedited rambles.

#aurae analyzes #dr ratio #drratio #veritas ratio #analysis #character analysis #honkai star rail #hsr #aventio #ratiorine #aventurine #dr ratio x aventurine #character study

[honeymoonblues]

Little White Lies

George Weasley x GN!Reader

Summary: George asks you to help him study for potions, but you suspect that he doesn't really need it. (Gender neutral reader).

Word count: 1.3k

A/N: Some fluff with my favourite Weasley twin. I wrote the reader hinting that they are not in gryffindor, but it's not specified anywhere. Let me know if there are any spelling errors, English is not my first language.

It took you 15 minutes into the first study session to realize that George Weasley didn’t need help with potions in the slightest.

However, you said nothing.

‘Why is he doing this?’ and other million doubts roamed your mind. There was no way he actually needed tutoring, why on earth would he waste his free time asking stupid questions?

No, they weren’t stupid, not at all. That’s what gave him away. Someone who didn’t get the subject would ask simpler questions, or wouldn’t have enough information to even ask! He’d sit there and claim not to understand, then utter the most brilliant question ever. The kind that gets resolved with one simple answer, or that can only be formulated when one actually comprehends.

Even after this sharp demonstration of knowledge, George would look directly into your eyes and lie!

“I don’t think I got it, think you could explain that again?” All with a bashful expression and a sheepish grin.

If anyone asked, you would completely deny it, but he got you giggling almost the whole time you were together. He’d put on an exaggerated grimace every time you would go over any formula, and made a fantastic imitation of Snape that got both of you scolded by Madame Pince for laughing too loud, and disturbing the peace of the library.

There were also your blushing cheeks, which you hoped he didn’t notice, whenever he’d get too close to you. You were so transparently awkward, but you couldn’t help it! Not with those eyes looking attentively, with him seemingly hanging to your every word, and it didn’t help the fact that he spoke so softly, so smoothly.

“Why! Why is he doing this? It doesn’t make any sense! Do you think he’s planning to prank me or something?” Your friends were getting tired of hearing you complain, because nothing they said would get through that stubborn mind of yours.

“What if he just likes you?” They’d offer, and you would scoff.

“I surely hope not!” Lies, big, tremendous lies. “Maybe I am overthinking this, maybe he does need help with potions, right?”

Then, your friends would just roll their eyes and let you be. It had been almost a week since your study session and you just wouldn’t shut up. Mostly because it was almost time for your second library meeting.

When you caught yourself in the mirror, completely engrossed in styling your hair perfectly, you almost gasped. Could it be possible that, just maybe, you had a tiny, minuscule crush on George Weasley?

While still making sure your hair and outfit looked good, you groaned, suddenly remembering that this was not the first time you fancied him.

Back in first year, getting used to Hogwarts was a terrible challenge for every new kid, but especially for muggleborns like you. The moving stairs were particularly tough. Thankfully, you crossed paths with another kid who was happy to help you. While his twin laughed cheerfully, George was quick to come for your aid and stop you from missing our hallway by the constant moving staircase. You had transfiguration together the whole year, and that’s how long it took you to learn to differentiate the twins physically.

If they were talking with you, you could definitely tell them apart, because Fred didn’t beam at you like George did. Still, you had many classes together until you discovered the little mole on his neck, and the slightly crooked nose on his brother that distinguished them.

That’s when your little crush began to flourish. Suddenly the twins were incredibly different from each other, and no other boy compared to George, not even his own identical brother. But you were eleven at the time, by the beginning of second year you didn’t see each other as much anymore. Inevitably, your tiny infatuation became nothing more than that and stayed in the past. Or so you thought.

You looked at your blushing face one more time in the mirror before you left your room, and directed yourself to the library. Walking purposely slow, little hopeful thoughts formed in your head. And you giggled at the thought that maybe he did fancy you. But you stopped in your tracks, then shook your head, telling yourself that you were getting way too unrealistic for your own good.

There still was a certain awkwardness in the way you spoke and explained things to him, but you were a little more comfortable than the last time. He grinned whenever you chuckled, and you’d joke more freely, which seemed to distract him a little.

While preparing to leave the library, having studied much less than the first session, he observed you quietly for a moment. When you raised your eyebrows at him, George finally spoke.

“Do you remember first year? We used to be together all the time.” He grinned, his cheeks taking a little pink colour which you didn’t notice because of the rising heat of your own face.

Before you could answer him, he spoke again.

“You were incredibly bright even back then, and I was…” Chuckling a little, you interrupted him.

“And you were top of the class on charms, remember? Before you enchanted all of Flitwick’s books to fly out of the window.” While trying to muffle your giggles behind your hands, George complained.

“In my defence, that was Fred’s idea!” But he couldn’t contain his laughter either, and he had the biggest grin on his face. “I had the biggest crush on you too.”

Everything went quiet after his words, and you looked at him with your eyes wide open. After an awkward minute of silence, you mumbled.

“Shit, me too.” And you both broke into a fit of giggles again, earning a loud “Shh!” from Madame Pince. Continuing your conversation in hushed tones, he muttered:

“Wait, no way. And you never said anything!”

“It’s not like you said something either, Weasley!”

“I was just a stupid little kid, what did you expect?”

“George, we are the same age!”

“Yeah, yeah. But you are the clever one here, darling.”

Without even stopping to think about what you were going to say, you opened your mouth and pointed at him accusatorily.

“You don’t even need tutoring in potions! You could teach me, in fact!”

Your hand flew to cover your mouth as soon as you were done talking, your cheeks starting to burn, and your gaze averting George’s eyes trying not to expose yourself any more than you had already.

After a prolonged uncomfortable silence, you spoke.

“Or that’s what it seemed… I never actually got to see you in a potions class, but you learn really fast, and also you make the brightest questions. Not to say that it’s bad to ask for help with studying, that’s not what I mean, of course! But since you are so good with inventing products and also, you have to know a lot of potions for the pranks you pull, too… It’s just…” Without any breath left from your quick rambling, you looked up to him for the first time in a while, to see him with a genuine bashful expression.

Slowly, a charming little smile appeared on his face, and he looked deep into your eyes. He caught you. It was clear in your gaze, in your voice, in the way you twitched your hands nervously. It was now or never, he thought.

“I heard you were helping a girl with potions, and I thought what better excuse to spend some time with my sweet crush, don’t you think?”

It took you a moment to process what he had said, then you let out a little humming sound, like in a trance. Shifting your eyes from the table, to the mole on his neck.

“I also wanted to check if you were as good with potions as everybody said, or if you were just bluffing.”

Finally reacting, you feigned offense and hit his arm.

“Get out of here, George Weasley.”

And he beamed, just like he did back in first year.

#george weasley #george weasley x reader #george weasley x you #george weasley fanfiction #weasley twins #gender neutral reader #oneshot #x reader #my writing

[drdemonprince]

Your blog is like a breath of fresh air. Thank you for all the wonderful thoughts and writing.

That said I actually have a question. I am pro-palestine(it feels stupid to call it that, as if it should even be a debate) and in a very left leaning friend group. But also a very white academic one. You know the type, read Marx, dream of the revolution but continue studying to end up in 9 to 5s instead of doing anything(I am guilty of it too, this isn't meant as insult just a description)

Anyways, as you can imagine they have been extremely hesitant when it comes to having any opinion on Israel or Palestine. That wouldn't be a problem in itself, I know how to start topics with them and get them thinking usually but in this case there is an additional problem. Whenever I try to broach the topic I get shutdown with "Look at all the shit that is going on here, our country is falling into fascism, I just don't have the energy to deal with this conflict. Please don't talk about it because it's triggering". And I have zero clue what to do. Forget getting them to go on protests with me, I can't even speak to them about it and feel really guilty. Its me bringing up a heavily triggering topic after all. It feels wrong to feel guilty though. I know at the end of the day it's not important if I could convince some people to give a fuck but do you have any advice? How to get over this guilt or maybe how to broach a topic with that considered?

My main problem is my fear of losing my friends because I have been ill for some time(as in physically unable to leave the house for more than a short grocery run, or my visits to the doctor, because of pain and my friends are what keep me alive) and losing their help would be not good.

My exact situation aside, do you have advice for someone to broach a topic that others describe as unpleasant/triggering without causing a huge rift in the group?

Thanks for your kind words and your question, Anon.

I think your friends suck and that you can do better than them. I think you should get out there and find yourself some Black, brown, working class anarchist and anarco-communist buds (and Marxists who show up for others in a real, observable way in their regular lives) as soon as you can.

I know that wasn't the answer you were looking for. But I have seen this kind of entirely theoretical, jaded, self-superior, passive, white well-off Marxist type a thousand times before, and I've failed to ever see them show up for other people in any kind of consistent way.

And it's not only the people systematically crushed beneath the wheel of Capital half a world away that they neglect, either. They tend to be pretty shitty friends and neighbors when it all comes down to it on the micro-level, too. Their smug over-intellectualism and dispassionate cynicism allows them to justify remaining disengaged and going along with the status quo in a way that ultimately serves capitalism very well.

There is a theoretical basis to this selfishness and disengagement, I will admit. This type of overly academic Marxist typically believes that the fall of capitalism is inevitable, that humans lack free will and only behave as befits their obvious material interests, and that there is nothing that one can do on a personal level to hasten any kind of Revolution, so there is nothing left to do but wait, and take care of oneself, and allow the future to unfold.

This is a perspective explicitly advocated for by people like the Chapo Trap House guys, and among academic white boy communist types, it is incredibly popular. I remember hearing Matt Christman saying on his vlogs that he essentially does not believe the conditions allowing capitalism to fall will happen in his lifetime, and so his only responsibility is to just take care of himself and his family and be comfortable.

Ultimately, these types wind up sounding and behaving exactly like capitalist economists who believe that everyone is rationally motivated only by increasing their personal wealth. They are disengaged from politics except insofar as they like to make snide jokes about current events for their own entertainment and enrichment, and they don't see themselves as having the capacity to exert a positive influence on the world, nor any obligation to. It's bleak shit.

At the same time, if your friends are in the circles that tend to read and listen to and promote this kind of stuff, surely they have also been exposed to popular leftist voices advocating loudly for the Palestinian cause. And yet still they have done nothing.

Hasan Piker has been vocally pro-Palestine his entire career, and his Twitch channel has been providing near constant coverage of Palestinian issues since October 7th. True Anon has had multiple episodes on the Israel Lobby, the suppression of pro-Palestinian activism and journalistic coverage, and has aired interviews with Normal Finkelstein. Palestine is the central topic of nearly every Trillbilly Worker's Party podcast for months now.

These are widely popular voices among the very types of Marxists that you say that your friends are, and many of these creators are close friends with the Chapo Trap House guys, whom your friends almost certainly are taking notes from. So it's nearly impossible to imagine that your friends have not encountered the near constant coverage of the struggle of the Palestinians that all the rest of us have. And yet still your friends do nothing. Still they do not care, and dismiss you when you share with them how despairing you feel.

Your friends have turned off an essential part of their hearts, I think. And I don't mean they lack empathy. Not having empathy is fine, I don't have it either -- but I make the conscious choice to care about the Palestinian cause and to advocate for it, because it aligns with my values. I give a fuck. My giving a fuck is conveyed through my actions, not through what I think about or how I feel.

Your friends are showing no interest in learning more about this genocide or doing anything about it. Perhaps some degree of ignorance or hesitancy could be justified early on because the Israeli apologist propaganda is so far reaching, but we're well past the point of that explaining away inaction by now. Over 100,000 people are missing and over 30,000 are known to be dead and little girls are being shot by snipers while seeking medical care while babies are left to rot in their NICU beds.

Your friends know this. Maybe not everyone in the world does, but if they're so well-read about leftist issues, your friends do. And they have chosen, for some reason, not to care. They've disconnected from the pain the Palestinian people are in, unplugged from the steady stream of upsetting information, sought comfort in a politics that says all too conveniently that nothing they do matters, and when you try to share with them how much anguish you are feeling about the mass deaths happening throughout the world, they're dismissive toward you.

Your friends suck. If acknowleding reality and confronting the horrors of a genocide is too tough and triggering for them, then a lot of horrors here at home will be too much for their fragile egos too. There are so many leftists you could be surrounding yourself with instead, I promise -- people who give back to their communities, people who are in the streets doing the tough work of feeding and housing and fighting for the release from prison of people every day, instead of using those local struggles as a shield for their inaction on a more global scale.

Fuck these people for real. This is a big glaring red flag and it will be relevant to your friendship and your life. One day many of them might see you and your problems and your human needs as too much of a distraction from their dry academic jerk-off sessions too. I've seen it a dozen times. Sorry to be so blunt. But you seem like a person who is putting their attention in all the right places and I don't want to see that compassion squandered on people who won't ever show you the same consideration. You can find people who actually walk the walk, they're everywhere.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Watch Lady Chatterley's Lover (2022) and then Read...

I absolutely loved Lady Chatterley's Lover (2022). I think it was a triumph of the female gaze, Emma Corrin being the Period Piece Pinch Hitter we all need in a post-Keira world, and fucking in the woods.

To be clear, the book is not a romance. It does not end unhappily (more like "to be continued", without any intention of a continuation and clarification) but it's not a romance. The movie, I would argue... is pretty close to being a romance, or just a romance outright. Joely Richardson looks at the camera and goes "this is a love story", and by God, who am I to question Joely Richardson (who also was Lady Chatterley once). It hits many of the classic notes of a historical romance novel--hardcore fucking and immediately having an existential crisis after, "my god, how could this constant unprotected sex I'm having result in a PREGNANCY???", a douchey rich guy who wants to publish his stupid novella.

After watching it, I wanted to go through my rolodex of books and throw up some recommendations for what to read after watching this movie and getting a bit. Interested.

I tried to focus on a) interclass dynamics or b) illicit affairs. Ideally both, but it's more about the vibe than the readalike nature.

The Leopard Prince by Elizabeth Hoyt. In many ways, a Lady Chatterley vibe without the annoying husband and *with* a murder mystery. Our heroine is a wealthy heiress who travels to an estate she recently inherited on her own, employing an experience steward to help her with the business side of things. And with the business side of things. Elizabeth Hoyt writes some of the best sex in the game, and there's a lot of great class conflict in this one.

Waking Up with the Duke by Lorraine Heath. A Lady Chatterley setup but with less class conflict and more *secrets*. The Duke of Ainsley, genteel and well-mannered, still feels real bad for that time he got into a carriage accident with his best friend, which resulted in said friend's permanent impotency. Friend asks Ainsley to pay him back by fucking his wife, Jayne, in order to ensure that she has the baby she's always wanted. Jayne is like "say what now", because she does in fact hold the accident against Ainsley, and Ainsley is all "I COULD NEVER--but if you're like... insisting..." because of course, he has always carried a torch for Jayne. A month of hot, angsty, "don't kiss me on the mouth" cottage sex ensues, and the emotional fallout for these idiots is MAGNIFICENT.

The Countess by Sophie Jordan. Not out yet, but put this one on your TBR because there is certainly a married lady discovering her sexuality in the arms of another man (wealthy, but of a different social class) around these parts. Out 3/28/23.

Between the Devil and Desire by Lorraine Heath. For the "this coarse man is lighting my ladylike fires" vibe. Our heroine is a recently widowed duchess with a young son, who comes to find out that--what the fuck--her husband left the guardianship of their child to a man she doesn't even fucking know. The hero grew up on the streets and has risen to become a successful club owner, but is still very much lower class. They move in together, and incredible sexual tension and heightened emotions ensue. TW: discussion of childhood sexual abuse.

Dreaming of You by Lisa Kleypas. This might seem a bit left field at first, but I shall recommend it because a) there is a huge emphasis on class in this novel. Sara is not necessarily a hugely upper class lady, but she is a genteel lady, and Derek Craven's awareness of their social differences and his roughness against her softness is a huge part of their conflict in the first half of the book. B) sexual awakening is very emphasized in Sara's journey. C) Sara does have a boring fucking fiance who's like "Sara, it's okay if we aren't that into each other sexually" while Sara, having just gotten her titties sucked at a party, is like "UHHHHHH NO THAT IS NOT OKAY". D) Much like Oliver Mellors, Derek Craven suffers from "is very smart but sometimes we don't know what he's saying" syndrome.

Duchess by Day, Mistress by Night by Stacy Reid. Our heroine is another widowed duchess with a young son--but this time, she's on the hunt for the governess that ditched in a flash. She hires the coarse, lower class but nonetheless successful fixer in town to help her... And his price ends up being a bit more carnal than monetary. VERY illicit affairs dot mp3.

Notorious Pleasures by Elizabeth Hoyt. No class difference here, but we do have a lot of illicit sneaking around when our heroine begins sleeping with her betrothed's roguish brother--who might just fuck the rigid rule following sensibility right out of her.

Her Night with the Duke by Diana Quincy. A widow has a one night stand with a handsome stranger, only to discover that he's courting her stepdaughter. It's messy, it's angsty, it's hot, and I do believe there are some outdoor activities.

#romance novel blogging #lady chatterley's lover #if there are more i think of i'll update it but #go read about people getting sneakily laid #i suspect again the magic can also hit some of these beats but i'm saving that so

[mageofseven]

Okay so...Mephisto x MC series?

Okay so let me at least explain what would make this series different from the others I am currently writing:

My other stories involve a loving couple and *gasp* an unplanned pregnancy! We'll face it together!! And all that predictable drama lol

In this, MC and Mephisto won't be dating at all. In fact, they swear up and down that they hate each other.

However, a baby is still in the mix.

I'm basically gonna play off that smut trope of heats. Not a smut writer obviously, so this would just be mentioned to have happened in the past.

Most demons have methods to cope through their heats, but Mephisto is a dumbass who tries to work through it and still attends to his responsibilities; even Lucifer isn't this stupid.

MC, who doesn't actually hate him, but is constantly frustrated with him, argues with him about it, eventually leading him to begging her for help with his...'issue'.

She does, but only for Mephisto to avoid her like the plague after that.

Eventually she discovers she's pregnant and honestly becomes greatful that Barney Reject™️ is avoiding her so she can have time to think.

MC's not just worried about her life and her baby, but also how Lucifer will react.

On Mephisto's end, he'd had have to deal with the reactions of his incredibly strict and traditional parents, who would be angry at him for knocking up a person at all, but specifically a 'lowly' human. Oh devil, he's in for.

Mephisto will want to care for her and take responsibility while MC has those who care for her in her ear saying that he could never truly care for her

While Mephisto himself has his parents in his ear demanding he pay her off and forget about her and the child.

It would a story about two very different people from different worlds (not just different realms but also different social classes) coming together and growing to understand each other for the sake of their child despite everyone around them speaking as if they know what's best for them.

#obey me #obey me otome #poll #obey me mephistopheles x mc #obey me mephisto x mc #mephistopheles x mc #obey me mephistopheles #obey me pregnant mc #obey me mc #new series?

[christophfanalways]

INTERVIEW from Dec. 2, 2023

Actor Christoph Waltz: “Anti-Semitism is a very deep disease in a society. But it's not a fact that you just have to accept."

In an exclusive interview with “NZZ am Sonntag”, the Austrian talks about opera, anti-Semitism in his childhood and neuroses as a family legacy.

Christoph Waltz, do you find films boring?

Christoph Waltz: How did you come up with the idea?

Because you started directing operas after over 120 films and two Oscars.

But not out of boredom! I have always found opera, a story embedded in music, to be extremely interesting. Of course I could pursue this medium at home on the couch with a textbook. But I'm always interested in the activity, the doing. That's why I'm not yet an opera director. There are plenty of great ones out there.

So why do you stage operas?

You always talk about intention and approach, but you also have to be given the chance to implement it. And Aviel Cahn, the director of the Grand Théâtre de Genève, was looking for someone who could tell a compelling story. He didn't ask me because he expected an incredibly innovative concept that would revolutionize opera.

In a conversation with Daniel Barenboim you described yourself as a “conservative fart”. Is this a good starting point for staging an opera in 2023?

I said that because I am following with some interest how a new convention has become established in the cultural world. Look, the iconoclasm has long since been done. All texts are deconstructed. In principle, almost all theoretical approaches have been exhausted. What are you doing now?

Tell us.

Anyone who claims to be iconoclastic or unconventional is simply conforming to this new convention. And as a viewer I'm disappointed because I already suspected that.

That doesn't sound conservative. By conservative I would imagine that you keep something as it is.

May I be very rude: That's just how you imagine it. Words are filled with meanings and we are attached to them.

How do you imagine it?

For me, a work does not have to be new in its form. It's about the viewer. The work is intended to enable him to find a small gap in his beautifully crafted imagination and to let a little light shine through there. I prefer to sit back and be served in the “Kronenhalle”, it costs just as much and takes just as long.

Christoph Waltz

The most elegant of all villains

Born in Vienna in 1956, Waltz grew up in a family of theater makers and psychoanalysts; he has the same stepfather as the director Michael Haneke. Waltz studied singing and acting. He won an Oscar each for “Inglourious Basterds” and “Django Unchained” by Quentin Tarantino. Since then he has been known as a cool, elegant villain.

Richard Strauss' “Rosenkavalier” moves in a time-schizophrenia. A past is imagined, but with waltz sounds that didn't exist back then, and it's about topics that are relevant today, such as #MeToo. What are you after?

I don't have to follow what's already in the story, it's there. And I wouldn't like to claim that I'm so much smarter than Hugo von Hofmannsthal or Richard Strauss that I have to help things along. Although when it comes to Hofmannsthal, I'm not what you would call a fan. The year in which “Rosenkavalier” was performed was the year in which Schönberg’s “Pierrot Lunaire” was written. Hofmannsthal indulged in Kakanien for a bit.

Christoph Waltz rehearsing “Rosenkavalier” at the Grand Théâtre de Genève.

Dougados Magali

In the k.-u.-k. During the monarchy, Vienna's cultural identity was very Jewish. It was the time of Sigmund Freud, Karl Kraus, Oskar Kokoschka, Joseph Roth. Did this mean there was less anti-Semitism in Vienna?

I'm not sure about this. I experienced anti-Semitic things myself as a school child in Vienna. But they weren't problematized in the 1960s. I had a teacher who told my best friend in geography class to stop making stupid Jewish jokes. Nobody was outraged back then. The teacher was just an old Nazi and an idiot, we knew that. My boyfriend didn't mind at all either. I was more itchy than him.

Because your own father's mother was Jewish?

No. Nobody has tied their identity to humiliation. It wasn't scratched.

How is identity determined? At the family? Your grandfather, Rudolf Urbantschitsch, was a psychoanalyst, your grandmother an actress.

A psyche, especially a child's psyche, is occupied with concepts that this brain did not produce on its own. This is inevitable. This is how we shape our personality and our identity. But this is different than one that is consciously and intentionally accepted due to external circumstances.

You need to explain this in a little more detail.

I mean, this identity politics today isn't really about identity. It is identity. I haven't thought this through carefully, but I'll say it anyway: it's more about an agenda than an identity.

Since the outbreak of the Middle East conflict on October 7th, the German cultural scene has been forced to position itself.

This compulsion is akin to the formation of a new convention that we spoke about earlier. Nobody asks exactly, and nobody is interested in the facts. But everyone wants to represent something. Because they don't know exactly what, they just represent themselves. And since they don't have much to do with it, it's made all the more loud and extreme. This is a tragic development that can definitely be attributed to the decline in educational standards.

That's why you're worried about the state of our culture?

The viewer's judgment is hindered. We can only make progress through the judgment of the observer.

Her grandfather coined the phrase: “Neurosis is the emblem of culture.” Was he right?

I think this is a “sound bite” that was already used for marketing back then. This opinion puts me at odds with my siblings, who view the matter with more reverence. My grandfather sometimes formulated something cryptically, not least because he wanted to cover up his less-than-scientific approach.

Why do you view him critically?

That was his conflict with Freud. That Freud said he wasn't scientific. They were together in the Vienna Psychoanalytic Association. My grandfather was, in a sense, a student of Freud. But who wasn't in psychoanalysis at that time?

Was it and was it considered good manners in Vienna to be somewhat neurotic?

Can I say: There are more psychotherapists and psychoanalysts in Zurich than in Vienna. And significantly more.

But any amateur Freudian would be delighted with you because you first married a psychoanalyst and then a costume designer - which was your mother's job.

Yes. Of course all of this influenced me. That would have been the case if my grandfather had been a locksmith and my mother had been a physicist. Everything that has happened to you shapes you. So we all need to be a little more careful about what we do with it.

What do you mean?

Because we are not simply the victims of our conditioning. If we are interested in a particular matter, we must handle the matter responsibly. You have options for action. This also applies to anti-Semitism. Anti-Semitism is a very deep disease in a society. But that doesn't mean it's a fact that you just have to accept. Even if you are an anti-Semite yourself. You could also leave it be. This is available to you.

Don't you overestimate us humans?

The question would be: How can I, on my own initiative, decide that it would be much more beneficial not only for myself, but for the general public to let it go?

And how is that supposed to succeed?

No idea. It is the task of those who have already recognized this to show others these possibilities. And not as a moral obligation, but as a practical possibility. This is how cognitive behavioral therapy works. You don't say: You're bad. Because that is – speaking of childhood – the best way to create opposition and neuroses.

Art has to play a role here. The mass medium of film in particular has a very significant impact on young people. But when the threshold of shame falls and the level of education falls, what can art do?

I'm afraid art can't change much. And I fear something even worse: that's not what art is intended for.

Rather?

Art is a way into a dimension that we cannot reach any other way.

But something could happen to me there that reminds me: Be the individual you believe you are. And act accordingly instead of what a group tells you to do.

Of course, you are right. Art can open up a perspective on problematic topics. But she cannot agitate, i.e. reverse the dynamic and intervene didactically.

She could, but she shouldn't.

It can create nothing but vehement opposition if someone throws this thing in my face. Art can only invite me, as a viewer or listener, into this dimension, and I must also be able to venture into it. The change is up to the viewer. But the artist cannot force this on me.

As an actor, you have to trust that the finished film will open doors like that. It is, so to speak, beyond your responsibility how your role affects the audience.

But it is my responsibility to give you a response. Your own and not something I would ask of you. It is a great responsibility not to stand in front of the role and the story and say that you think I, Christoph, are great. But to make room – ultimately for you. But this is one thing that is currently not being taken care of.

So, is your defining characteristic as an actor and director is humility?

I almost said arrogance. But that's not it either. But it is by no means modest.

What then?

It's a completely different consideration: how I open the content. And how I invite you into the content.

You actually want to be repelled by the Bond villain Blofeld, who you played, but you can't. That's one such reaction.

Wondering why you can't manage to dislike the villain? I can't get any higher praise. Because you're asking yourself that, but not me.

They wouldn't even be able to answer it.

No, I don't know what brings you to this.

Why do you like playing these elegant, chilly villains so much?

I don't live out evil. If I played a murderer and wanted to live that out, I would have to go kill someone now. As an actor, I synchronize myself with a story, like you do when you read a novel, for example.

Christoph Waltz as a 20-year-old in the children's show “Amdamdes”

youtube

You studied singing, you can play the cello, piano, saxophone and guitar and you almost became a musician. Is the emotional, romantic opera your balance to your villain roles?

Already. But maybe not for the reasons you mentioned.

Then why?

Because of the music. What is inside her alone. It gives what is being told an additional dimension. Although in the case of “Rosenkavaliers” Strauss may not be at the top of his craft in terms of craftsmanship. The fans had condemned him for this work after his “Elektra”. It's too banal. Not that I have a bad conscience - but I ask myself: Can I really allow myself to talk about Strauss like that?

Why not? As a director, Strauss is your work material.

No, not material, but leadership.

This is too humble an attitude.

Well, I'll allow that, please. Thanks. I'll take advantage of that. This may pose a risk if I don't question the source. But I believe that just as I hinder your viewing when I stand in front of a role as an actor, I hinder your reception when I stand in front of a work as a director.

Are you against interpretation?

If I wanted to put a context on this that I claim I am the only one to recognize, and compel you to share that view, it would be for me as an old practitioner developing a worldview as if the horse was being bridled from the tail.

The music also provides a reading.

There are directors like Michael Haneke who reject music in their films because they say it is a rule for the viewer, a misdirection into emotionality. A film without music is still a film. If you take the music away from the opera, it's no longer opera.

In “Rosenkavalier” Baron Ochs is a terrible philanderer, but he sings very sweetly and naively.

Assuming that you are in a relationship, if you could sometimes smack your partner against the wall, would that mean you love them less at that moment? Definitely not. Conversely, it could be that you can't stand him right now, but in moments you are carried away by a reaction, a behavior. No person who wants to claim to be human consists of only one characteristic.

And you also find that in “Rosenkavalier”?

“Rosenkavalier” is such an incredibly psychologically nuanced piece that the whole Mozartkugel packaging in which we are always fobbed at it doesn’t come close to capturing the dimension of its humanity.

#christoph waltz #christophwaltz #magazine interview

[stevetonyweekly]

SteveTony Weekly - August 27th

Hey all! I’m feeling under the weather this week so even though you’re owed a long list this week--it’s not. I’m sorry. I’ll do better soon. 

~*~ 

Memory Lane by itsallAvengers

Suddenly, he's soaking - someone just threw a fucking water bomb or something, and it's not a big deal, it shouldn't be a big deal-

But for some reason, it is.

Toasted Buns by copperbadge, scifigrl47

After seeing Tony naked and tanned -- all over -- in a decontamination shower, Steve realizes he may be in trouble. Tony, meanwhile, is definitely in trouble over those tabloid pictures of him sunbathing nude. The solution is clearly a tropical island getaway.

Tenth Time Lucky by itsallAvengers

Steve just wants to propose to Tony.

If only he didn't keep getting fucking interrupted-

I Am One With What I Am by Kiyaar 

After the mess in Washington, Steve and Tony try to carve out a little life for themselves, a place to heal, out of the spotlight.

If only the original Tony’s shadow wasn't permanently between them.

Throw a Little Hot Rod Red in There by FestiveFerret, SirSapling

Tony Stark was pretty sure that the absolute worst time to get asked out by an incredibly talented, good-looking artist, who likes to paint - and defend - Iron Man, is when he's dying of palladium poisoning.

Vice Versa by AvocadoLove

During an alien invasion, Tony is transported to an alternate universe where Steve is Iron Man and he is Captain America.

Also, Captain Stark and CEO Steve Rogers are together on the sly. Awkward.

I Wanted It To Be You by complicationstoo 

After Civil War, Tony and Steve are both a bit of a mess. Guilt and loneliness threaten to break them both, but each find comfort in the emails of strangers they meet online. Tony writes to Sal, and Steve writes to Thomas, and neither of them have a clue who's actually on the other side.

Antoshka by LokasennaHiddleston

Tony does not know what to make of the Winter Soldier's story. For Steve's sake, he's trying to help. For Steve's sake, he's trying to find Bucky Barnes and bring him back. But when an Avengers raid on a Hydra base leads to an unexpected discovery, Tony will find that Bucky Barnes may just be more than just his lover's best friend.

Mental note: Scrap all footage of him hitting on Natasha. That's just awkward.

Through A Lens by itsallAvengers

"Okay- so this is the first option- I've got to go to this huge family meal in a few weeks, and so I'm looking for a shirt that just screams 'I am the family disappointment', you know? Does the bright pink work, do you think?"

Steve shrugged. "Uhh, well, I'd say pink probably would? It's hard to say, I mean, I'm colour-blind, maybe you need Natasha's input. Hell, Clint's always good with 'family disappointment' fashion, shall I grab him-"

"Wait," Tony cut him off, face completely blank and shirt half way off his body. "You're... you're fucking with me, right?"

"Huh? I mean, Clint's family is fucked up on a normal day, so it's not really-"

"No, not that, the other thing. The colour-blind thing," Tony said, stepping out of the changing room with his shirt still hanging around his neck in order to grab Steve's arms. "Please, please God tell me that I haven't spent the last two years of my life assuming you could see colour. Please."

If you like Piña Coladas... by itsallAvengers 

After being essentially blackmailed onto a first-class cruise by Bucky under the guise of 'taking a vacation' and 'getting some well-earned rest' or whatever stupid bullshit it was that his dumb best friend told him, Steve Rogers ends up alone, on a boat heading to the Caribbean. He gets on expecting to hate it.

He does.

There is one good thing about the trip, though.

patchwork people by itsallAvengers

It was a pretty well-known fact that Tony Stark had control issues.

It was far less well-known why, though.

Our rain-washed histories (don't need to be told) by sirona

Dumped by SHIELD into the real world of the 21st Century, Steve must learn how to live a normal life again, and rediscover the things that make it worth embracing.

Science and Progress (do not speak as loud as my heart) by sirona

Steve's body is not the only thing affected by the Super Soldier Serum.

I wanna hold your hand by sirona

No one understands what it's like growing up rich and yet more alone than anyone should be able to stand - except for people who grew up just like you, that is. In which Tony Stark goes to Oxford University and meets people and makes enemies and makes friends and changes people's minds and falls in love - amongst other tales of mishap and adventure.

you can call me babe for the weekend by complicationstoo 

Tony left his small town for Los Angeles after high school, leaving behind everything to pursue his dream. Ten years later, he comes back for the first time and finds that some things are impossible to let go of.

Brave New World by valdomarx for enkiduu

Captain Hydra, the Avengers' long-time foe, and Iron Man, the mysterious masked Avenger, find themselves transported to a strange alien planet. The place is beautiful, but it's also apparently sentient and has taken a perverse interest in them.

Steve agrees to a truce with Iron Man for now, at least until he finds his time to strike.

That is, if the trees don't get them first.

Good For You by youcancallmearrow 

Steve doesn't understand why Tony dates people who treat him poorly. Tony doesn't understand why Steve cares.

The rest is bad choices, good choices, rehab, milkshakes, paintball, YouTube videos, couples therapy and learning to put the past in the past.

Or: How Tony finds his happy ending.

but come ye back by Red (S_Hylor)

When the night is cold and the sky is open, Tony goes to talk to the past Sheriff of Timely.

your ivy grows by complicationstoo 

Tony has been trapped in an arranged marriage for years, isolated and withering under Ty's heavy hand. Until one night at a bar in Brooklyn changes everything.

It Had To Be You (Wonderful You) by tinystark616

During a party in Avengers Tower, Steve confesses to Tony that he's never slept with anyone.

#stevetony #stony #stony fic recs #stevetony weekly #steve rogers #tony stark #iron man #captain america #stevetony fic #stony fic #fic rec

[onebraincell-itmiebcraft]

Liveblogging real life part 2: Joel (it's been 12 13 days) (already watched)

Okay so maybe we'll do the liveblog-every-five-minutes-unless-something-crazy thing also idk if I should link this up to my intro post (idk how) or reblogged my og one with this oh well we'll figure it out why am I eating AGAIN doing this

I got inspired after rewatching secret life my beloved for the umpteenth time :P

Okay ep. 1/finale is hilarious and new "series" 😭

Joel why did you point out the cursor I can't take my eyes away

First batch

Joel jumping then immediately keeling over in nausea:

Idk how to respond to that but it struck a chord within me, how true

BigB wholesome waving but it also looks like his arm is BENT I can't get over VR arms man 😭

Punching BigB because he's so tall is so real tbh + love the smash cut to Gem being salty

Headpatting + baby-ish voice "little gem/Ren/skizz" what a gentleman makes me think of the try not to cry challenge or Jimmy's crazy christmas series where he says Joel is a crybaby and Gem says he's a romance guy in a mental gymnastics train of thought

Grian throwing his head back from the outside?! Cryptid behaviour

The real life vids don't make me motion sick but Joel making retching and vomiting sounds does NOT help it makes me sick by proxy or something I hate being disoriented and nauseous too buddy

There's probably a video out there of someone comparing regular mc to vr because vr just hits different like proportions wise

Joel noises

Love this Joel-Gem duo already idk how to describe it just fun

Also Joel having to process out loud he won't throw up on Gem I remember playing Richie's plank experience or whatever years and years ago shit was REAL

Joel's inventory becoming disorganized with things that can be stacked together :(

Hey what gem said kinda reminds me of what grian said :D at the end of his episode awful :DD

Poor Joel he's battling his height complex alongside his motion sickness (rip bozo poor little meow meow)

I think almost everybody had the problem of facing the wall dude, it's okay it's very silly

Water foreshadowing (he will swim with his future gang and become incredibly sick)

Geminislay that pig

Wait till Joel learns about lying down‼️‼️

JOEL STOP MAKING NAUSEOUS SOUNDS I'M GONNA FROW UP 👹

"...Falling in powdered snow" kinda reminds me of this short story I read in grade 9 English class "The Bamboo Trap" protag fell in The Bamboo Trap™ and got bitten by big ass spiders or something the idiot, also I think got published in the same anthology as the most dangerous game 👊

Joel admits to weakness

Weird ass snow, someone built this or something?

Joel with his arms out looks so silly, so does gem

Oh gem how graceful with the figure skating history 👊👊👊✌️👉✌️✌️🤜🤛🤛🤜🙏

Lol they learn about the wrist chat

Second batch

Jimmy, oh iconic Timmy

Shield (why did I write this again?)

Bi shoes, love seeing gem's skin wearing the bi shoes I forget about it every once in a while and when I see it again it's a pleasant surprise

Vr players learn to pvp

When you use the shield to block in first person it looks kinda stupid dude

Campsite vibes tbh, I really like it.

Bee spotted 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝 what is it doing

Shaky controller cursor over top chest plate I feel you

Falling irl indeed (recursive mention about plank)

LOUD holy moly Joel is loud (not negative)

Healf being something people can't look at at all times is actually a kinda funny mechanic

Smajor friendship aww when will they team up (did I forget about a series)

The poor beg for bread, we live in a society ✊😔

Grian killing??? Since when??? (Sarcastic)

Batch three

Peace and love is why they haven't died yet 😘

Arms again! Weird looking things

Hand gesture reminds me of that one diamond scar short with etho's greedy "I want the diamond" voice

Flint and steel? Weird looking thing

Omg red club looks like bugs, the way the trio gossips about them ♥️

Right no out messages...

Can't believe the most motion sick man gets in the water not once but TWICE this ep

Does he know

Where did the horse thing come from

Can't remember if I mentioned this but when the sword swings without critting in VR it looks so silly it pokes

A bugs life: the sequel

Club: deadly euphemism

Sword 😐

Something about jimmy doesn't get burnt...

Why is Jimmy jiggles the only one with a wooden sword???

Strong words from a man on the verge of mania 👀

Lol knowing impulse breaks the ground under Joel big brain man going for the kill

Something about the disappointed way Joel says "scar!" And scar stabbing him in the first caused this

Tim is so British he says "get in" so much

Joel, again exasperated, cries out "where's all my stuff?!"

Funny Minecraft men, my favourite funny Minecraft men

My god seeing from Joel's perspective his second death is from zombie

I think Joel was about to saying bluming + the cover behind house + the constant begging for his stuff back + violence as an answer (he hits men)

4

Oh scar up to no good again

JOEL GETS IN THE WATER AGAIN!!! MOTION SICKNESS WIN!

Joel and scar just did mitosis stop being scared of biology 🙄

What was Mr solidaritygaming doing in that hill and said yes to did he finally get iron?

Aw the silly arm motion I love greeting people with spirit fingers reminds me of that

GOON SQUAD?! (neuron activated)

Famous moment

Oh more famous moment here comes the smallidarity kiss

Love Tim's body language once again the sharp smooth head turn to grian he's like a cartoon character

(what grian mean they are suited and booted he cut this part out I don't remember the other povs 😢)

Leave it to solidaritygaming himself to be the most homoerotic straight man there is of course + Joel is still patting him on the head? + Timsel being cringefail needing to jump multiple times on ONE BLOCK + Joel did NOT need to lean that much he looks like he's powered by springs + Jim's arms always being so tight together. Makes him. Look like. An old granny??? + Joel IMMEDIATELY checking his wrist afterwards like it's a Tuesday and he's on break + homophobic GRIAN + impulse's dad delivery one liner

The more I watch smallidarity kiss the more bizarre and asinine it becomes to me 😀

When did Joel learn to button jump (he WAS mental for jumping irl irl)

Okay Joel cut out that canary comment why don't you 🙄🙄🙄

WHACK 💀 SHAKE YOUR HANDS REAL FAST 💀💀 JOEL SCREAM #3997 💀💀💀

Fond of Joel's cadence of saying "hello guys!" And "I'm coming in boys!" And "HAHA!" oddly musical

Okay aaaaaaand he dies worst ranking ever good for him the end

Idk if I should liveblog scar next or watch Ren because I've already watched up to skizz + me 'ead 'urts oh well

#real life smp #real life spoilers #real life #rlsmp #rl #rlmblr #rlsmp liveblogging #am i the only one using that tag #smallishbeans #liveblogging

[eff-plays]

can we get more of your feelings about the durge/astarion stuff pretty please?? because i feel SO vindicated after reading your thoughts and am almost resentful of durge/astarion stuff having everyone so "they're made for each other!" and "they're canon!", it feels so invalidating towards tav/astarion. i really don't like durge either; i have one canon character when i play rpgs and dark urge does not fit them in the slightest 😓

if i wanted to put an understanding spin on it, i guess that's the trade off for having your own custom character with a back story you've created, and at least astarion is so incredibly loving towards tav and talks repeatedly about how incredible they are and how much he cares for them. but i do absolutely have SO many created scenarios in my head where my tav breaks down with their own traumas and ptsd, and astarion is there to comfort and help them through it, because god knows we don't get any of that in the actual game 😭 (i hope this made sense omg, i just love your opinions and want to hear them all)

Honestly I am not generally in the business of having too many opinions on things I haven't personally tried or experienced, so what you've seen so far of my opinions on Durge/Astarion is basically the extent of it, and my reasoning for deciding not to try it in the first place.

However, I can offer some further vindication in that I think saying "they're made for each other" or "they're canon" is such a dipshit and factually incorrect take that it's pretty much not worth getting upset over. People can say and think whatever they want, that doesn't always make it true, particularly not when it comes to RPGs that are meant to be played as you want them. People who say this are fundamentally misunderstanding the concept of an RPG, and they're probably stupid, and their opinions aren't worth considering or taking seriously. Or, they're just trying to upset you and they feel smug about their own choices, in which case you should still ignore them.

Like, I hate Ascended Astarion, but I'm not gonna say Spawn Astarion is canon. If I do say it, I will clarify that it's canon for me, because it is, but canon in general? It would be literally, factually untrue. So why would I say that unless I'm wilfully obnoxious and smug about my choices? Or just dumb? Which I am, but not like that.

Iirc Larian encouraged people to play custom origin for their first playthrough, and people did, and most people tried going for Astarion. That means that, statistically, a shitton of people have Tav/Astarion as their main pairing. Why would they encourage this if it's apparently not canon? Why shoot themselves in the foot by offering an apparently inferior experience first?

Also, just because one writer wrote stuff for one character because they had the time to do so, does not make it somehow the definitive answer. It was clearly not intended to be the only romance where Durge gets a specific variation, I doubt Larian would do that, so it's basically an accident, or at least unintentional.

That being said, even if it was intentional, who's to say it's a good thing? Harkening back to my Dragon Age days, I remember people saying that Andrastian human was clearly the intended experience, and the game struggled to accommodate any other race/class. Does that make it canon? Or just bad game design/writing?

Obviously not saying Larian did a bad job, clearly they did a good job if people are going to bat for it this obnoxiously, but the logic is equally flawed.

I do have issues with Durge in general as a concept (mostly cuz I just don't understand the logic behind including it aside from ... previous game fanservice?) but I haven't even graduated from gamer school yet so I won't get into that.

Also, one thing abt Tav I love that Durge misses out on is just the sheer ballsiness and comedy of rocking up to Bhaal's secret temple and killing all his guys and just not even being involved in any of that shit at all. Durge gets all that angst and drama, sure, and Orin is soo important apparently, but she died in two rounds for me. TWO. Imagine being just some fucking guy who fucks up your shit so bad that you have to restart everything. That amuses me to no end.

So ... there's that, lmao.

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #cazador was a harder fight than orin lmao #all that buildup and then she just fucking croaks #misogyny tbh #but also i thought she was so annoying tbh so it was still fun to kill her #more fun that it was so undignified #like yaas girl go give us nothing #durge: ouhgh ... orin ... my enemy. tav: lmao yeah some rangom crazy bitch i shanked #tbh all the villains in bg3 are kinda mid there i said it #cept for maybe the emperor he can hang

[ifyouhappentoremember]

Quick Thoughts - The Phantom of the Opera - February 4, 2023 - Matinee

The main trio was Ben Crawford, Julia Udine and John Riddle.

I think I’ve reached a point when I am so familiar with this trio’s acting choices, my brain just started focussing on very niche and random things, so this review is just going to be an incredibly haphazard collection of thoughts.

Joseph DePietro was on as M. Reyer and is it possible that I’ve found my new favorite Reyer? He was so incredibly sassy but it was clear that he was very good at his job, which is Reyer 101. I know I’m ride or die for Jim Weitzer’s Reyer, but DePietro is giving him a run for his money.

This is the third (or is it second?) time I’ve seen Ted Keegan as Piangi. I can barely wrap my brain around it because Keegan’s Phantom and his Piangi give off very different energies but are also somewhat similar? His Piangi is very earnest and a little goofy.

Keegan’s Piangi is first and foremost, Carlotta’s number 1 fan. The first time Keegan’s Piangi met Carlotta, he cried and would later write in his diary, “It was the best moment of my life.” 

RIP Keegan’s Piangi, you would have thrived as a stan account on Twitter.

I had thought that since New York City Ballet’s Winter season had started, I would stop focussing so intently on the ballet corps during the Dressing Room sequence and finally turn my attention to the action down stage. If anything, my scrutiny on the corps has increased.

The choreography during this sequence is so good. It’s structured to almost resemble the center portion of a ballet class but Gillian Lynn had deliberately put in references to Degas’s ballet paintings and sculptures. It’s so clever and it lends so much atmosphere to the scene.

I’m really nitpicking here but I wish the ballet corps was a little bit tighter and were more synchronized? The main issue is that each ballet dancer has trained at a different school so the little details like arm and head placement are different. Like I said, I’m nitpicking because this is such a minor detail.

I am always so obsessed with this detail during Notes. Raoul directs the sung line “Why did Christine fly from my arms?” to André. Why does Raoul think André would know the answer? Nehal Joshi’s André always looks and gestures at John Riddle’s Raoul like “Give me a minute to deal with Carlotta and then I can help you with your stupid question” and it always cracks me up.

Ok so on the rooftop sequence after All I Ask of You when Raoul says “Christine, I love you,” I always love that when he says it, Julia’s face is in shadow and when she turns back, she’s in the light again. It’s such a good visual representation of Christine ‘rejecting’ the Phantom’s world of shadow for Raoul’s world of sunlight.

Ted Keegan’s Piangi made a really good Don Juan?? I was actually really annoyed that the Phantom killed Piangi, because I actually kinda started to get into Don Juan Triumphant.

Ben got so raspy during some moments when he sang The Point of No Return and I’m annoyed because it’s going to be clattering around my brain until the next time I see Phantom.

I don’t know how Ted Keegan made his body so limp during the reveal of Piangi’s dead body, his feet were swinging around like he was a corpse. It was really disturbing.

Ben has a new line reading of ‘The world showed no compassion to me!’ I like it so much better!

I like it better when Ben’s Phantom says his second “I love you’ to the empty space Christine has left behind. I’ve seen him do it to Christine when she’s still standing in front of him, and it reads as more manipulative to me, like he’s still begging her to stay with him. When he’s by himself it reads more pathetic and sad to me.

When Meg {Polly Baird] ripped the cape from the throne to reveal the mask, someone in the audience (probably a kid) let out a giant gasp of surprise and it made me laugh. I know, I know, this means for spoiling the mood my punishment I will be forced to endure the never ending bathroom line during intermission at Phantom (I would like to throw the lady sitting next to me under the bus because she laughed too - it was not just me!!).

#can you tell when I got to the theater that I was annoyed that Ted Keegan wasn't on as the Phantom? #hence the unusual focus I paid to piangi this time around? #quick thoughts #poto broadway #Ted Keegan #ben crawford #julia udine #john riddle #nehal joshi

[buckets-and-trees]

😏 okay... here me out

I will convert everyone I am determined

Medical!Bucky... Nurse, maybe even Paramedic... what do you think he would be like? would you make him out to be shy and a workaholic? or would you make him be suave and cocky?

okay... NOT THAT I NEED YOU TO TRY TO POKE MY MUSE, WIFEY!

But I'll indulge the thought...

Here's the Bucky I would love to see.

He's not suave, he's not cocky, he's not shy, he's not a workaholic.

BUT

He's incredibly intelligent, top of every class he was part of from kindergarten through medical school. He applied to Harvard, Duke, and Johns Hopkins for medical school and was accepted to all three. Now I said he's not a workaholic, but he works damn hard, he does go above and beyond, but he doesn't have an unhealthy obsession or need to prove himself with work. He's stayed very grounded with his family ties and Steve's friendship. Doesn't mean he isn't competitive, but he knows he's a better doctor because he's as committed to living the rest of his life as he is to helping save the lives of others.

He went into pediatrics because he didn't want to deal with bullshit. He's so kind and gentle with his young patients, but he also treats them as the growing humans they are and explains things to them as he works with them so they know what's going on, but also so they can learn, and not be less afraid even if there are some rough prognoses. He knows the unknown is scarier and that kids should be cared for but not babied.

Now I also said he's not cocky or shy, but...the truth is he's a bit too focused. He flashes you a nice smile and greets you kindly enough when you accompany your nephew to his appointment this time, but he doesn't really notice you until you knock off a whole tray of supplies, and you're over-apologetic and totally flustered and embarrassed because, god, you're not this clumsy, but watching this devastatingly handsome man at work, speaking so easily with your very shy nephew, making your nephew laugh, of course you do something stupid when he flashes his warm and intense blue gaze to you. But yes, you certainly capture his attention now. You and Bucky pick up the tray of supplies, and ... he's going to be smitten. Not because it's anything INSANE, but just that good ol' normal pull of when you meet someone and they're right in front of you and you just fucking love it. That kind of meet cute.

He'll say things that for how soft he is with the kids (and your nephew) and how serious and focused and maybe reserved he is around other people - he'll say things that just surprise you in the best way - sassy, clever, sarcastic. It's clear the more time you spend with him that he's always got something like this that he's thinking, but he doesn't find it necessary to run his mouth just to run it, but he only opens up that side of his personality to you and you see it around Steve and Bucky's family.

I think that's the kind of medical Bucky I envision if I were to write him.

Oh.

And he's very good with his hands.

#lana/rookthorne #aspen's extended anniversary sleepover #sleepover event #sleepover dare #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x you

[onecinder]

Hero Guide by Genos

Disclaimer: The information written here is as determined by the fanboy Genos in his personal diary ahem, training diary, and is therefore incredibly biased.)

Caped Baldy Saitama

Full Name: Saitama

Hero rank: A-Class, Rank 39 (those moron HA executives aren’t quite there yet, but we are getting closer. I believe Sensei is applicable for a hero name change now… I must have a word with the board.)

Age: 25

Race: Human (God?)

Height: 175 cm

Weight: 70kg

Residence: Formerly City Z, abandoned apartment (with me!!!) Currently City A Hero Apartments (next to me!!!!!) HATE MAIL WILL IMMEDIATELY BE INCINERATED. USE ADDRESS FOR FANMAIL ONLY.

Overview

A pillar of justice, the most incredible hero, the strongest man in the world, the wisest master. After extensive tests and observations, Saitama-sensei (who prefers to be called by his real name with no honourifics; I would never call him by his hero name, but how can I disrespect my master by not addressing him properly?) is revealed to be completely flesh and bone. Upon our first meeting, he has revealed that he does not use parts like me. At the time, I took his explanation as bullshit untrue, but I have since then readjusted my impression of him. Sensei is a very honest man… he can also pick out the lies of others, but that, unfortunately, hasn’t done him much good. Even he himself cannot explain the secret to his inconceivable strength—perhaps it was purely indomitable willpower. His goal is to fight a worthy opponent and live comfortably. He states he became a hero ‘for fun’; however, he seems to have forgotten his original motive, which I believe to be helping people. I think Sensei isn’t enjoying being a hero, because he hasn’t met an opponent remotely on par with his power… and I burden him with my discipleship… so, there must be something else tying him to being a hero. Apart from profit. He is a humble man, I I will explain further in the next section.

Personal Life

Personality: Sensei displays a remarkable calmness no matter the situation, able to remain clear-headed—is this the key to success? I have much to learn from him in that aspect. He is also laid-back and… lazy at times. He does not seem to display a high level of intelligence and remains ignorant of worldly affairs, however, such awareness and intelligence is not needed from a man of his prowess. I do not think he is stupid, only… apathetic. Sensei is kind, just, wise, straightforward and genuine. He has displayed knowledge of the truth on multiple occasions and cares more for the wellbeing of others than his own—a true hero. He cannot sacrifice his physicality, but he can sacrifice the things he cares about to save others—such as his public image. Examples of his is when he gave credit to the heroes fighting the Deep Sea King and gave his hero suit to a child who had his clothes stolen at a hero costume contest. Sensei is truly a selfless man. He is also very humble. He does not accept rewards (once when he defeated monster at a police station and gave them credit, second when he saved a kidnapped child and refused their money as a reward, thrice when he) He also lives minimally, being resourceful and making do of what he has—he is an easily satisfied man, finding joy in simple things such as eating udon or hot pot with me his acquaintances.

I also feel like Saitama-sensei sees right through me sometimes. When his eyes do not look like a dead fish’s, they are deep and it’s as if colour seeps back into them and he sees when i am lying to myself. He is omniscient, omnipotent. I see his face everywhere, in the clouds, on the white shine of my dinner plate, on the ceiling of Dr. Kuseno’s laboratory when I lie on the operation table… whenever he arrives at a scene, he brings hope.

Sometimes I cannot help but believe he is God.

But I know that isn’t true. Not when he is so gentle to animals but cats run away from him, not when he hums a happy little tune when ‘90s songs comes on the radio, not when he nudges me aside while I do the dishes and helps me…

However, he is forgetful, especially of names, but I do not blame him, for his mental state should not be burdened further than his current decrepitude. It must be lonely for him; on dreary days I can see his shoulders weighing…

I hope I can alleviate some of his burden, or at least take some on my shoulders too. Let me help you, Sensei, please.

Background: Sensei has not told me much about his past, save for snippets which I treasure dearly and store with care in multiple hard-drives in addition to my brain. I do know he struggled as a child and young adult in school and in employment, but persisted despite his acts of justice being scorned and thrown back in his face. I admire him greatly for this—no matter how much the tide beats him down, he always stands back up. It is no wonder he became the man he is today.

He has no family that I know of, but perhaps he is simply estranged from them. Despite him wanting to be a hero for a long time, the moment he decided to leap for his dream was when he fought a nameless low-level crab monster, which was a formidable foe at the time. He saved a butt-chinned brat from it and decided to pursue his dream to be a hero when the Hero Association hadn’t even been created.

Saitama-sensei then proceeded to train for three years straight, so hard that he went bald. He also suffered suffocating isolation on his path to power. His training regimen consisted of regular muscle training, which makes me more inclined to believe how he paved his way to power was through sheer willpower and determination. Truly incredible… but, I keep circling back to one of his invaluable quotes: “Human beings are great because we have the power to change ourselves.”

I wonder then, I am not entirely human anymore, so would I still be able to catch up to him…? Was all this for naught? Am I wasting his precious time? Will I never defeat the Mad Cyborg?

No. When I was facing the giant meteor about to fall on our town, old man Bang gave me a piece of advice: “You’re too young to be worrying sbout consequences. Sometimes it’s best to just muddle your way through.”

I don’t usually take that old man’s advice, but that’s what Sensei does, isn’t it? Besides, Sensei also said, “Instead of being stuck on the past, keep moving forward.”

If I keep pushing, I will eventually catch up to him. I have to. Then he won’t be alone anymore.

I am going off-track. More about his past (I must ask him more about it later): coincidentally, the Hero Association was established shortly after Sensei began training… and the child he saved bore a remarkable resemblance to the founder of the HA, Agoni… could it be…?

Hero activity

Saitama-sensei usual hero activities consists of fighting obliterating monsters (any level, even God level and above. I have complete faith in him.) and saving civilians; but he seems to not worry too much about collateral damage, only that no one has died. A rare instance I can think of him actively going out of his way to prevent collateral damage was in his fight with Tatsumaki, whom he later complained got all the credit for defeating nonexistent monsters (MORON EXECUTIVES!!)

Fighting style: Saitama-sensei does not fight. He exterminates, eliminating all his enemies with one punch if he does not give them a chance at all. His fighting style as I have observed so far is static; however, upon witnessing the future of a different timeline via my core, I now understand. It is not that his growth is static.

He has been growing this whole time.

I also… had never seen him so serious as he was when fighting against Garou. Was it because of me? Did I almost cause him to destroy planets?

Despite him being the strongest man in the universe, that was the first time I was afraid of him.

His punches are direct, powerful and efficient. If he is feeling kind and patient (and not missing a bargain sale) he will give his adversaries a chance before he eliminates them with a Serious Punch or, to (sic) ‘spice things up a bit’, his Consecutive Normal Punches.

Abilities:

• Killer Move, Serious Series: Serious Punch

When Sensei is in Serious Mode and punches the enemy. This singular punch will almost always end the foe before or on contact; otherwise, it will end the foe shortly. Death is inescapable.

I have experienced his Serious Punch (I nickname it the Death Punch) first-hand. It was enough to blast a hole through a plateau, and more. He had been holding back even then… because, as I understand now but naively didn’t at the time, he would have definitely killed me if he hadn’t held back. In fact, he probably would have destroyed Earth.

I wonder frequently how those strong hands could be so gentle when flicking my forehead.

• Consecutive Normal Punches

When Sensei delivers a series of punches (he looks so dashing cool intimidating when he is in Serious Mode!! I couldn’t help but develop a move of my own after his!) that are weaker in power than his Serious Punch. This is an effective combo move that finishes off the enemy, though I’m unsure if Saitama-sensei actually designed it for that purpose.

• Killer Move, Serious Series: Serious Sideways Jumps

A unique, unexpected technique that was used to defeat that pervert Speed o’ Shit Sound Sonic. The shockwaves alone are enough to throw enemies to the curb without outright killing them. It is effective for dazing enemies and disarming them.

• Killer Move, Serious Series: Serious Sneeze

A move used only once against Garou, Sensei performed it in Serious Mode and sneezed part of the surface of Jupiter off. This sneeze is purely force and is relatively uncontrollable (in terms of power level and timing) except for the direction it is aimed, which can be generally adjusted.

• Killer Move, Serious Series: Serious Table Flip

Clutching my core with one hand (I did not know Sensei would value it so much; even though it had no practical use anymore, I suppose it had sentimental value. There is a trembling feeling in my chest that I cannot name) and performing this move with the other, it was also used only once against Garou when he ripped the surface of Io apart by digging his hand into the ground and flipping it upward. Shards of the shattered surface scattered into space, providing an effective cover and obstacle respectively for Sensei’s attacks and Garou’s defence.

I have analysed Saitama-sensei’s fight in space a multitude of times, and have gained valuable insight from it. Insight on power, yes, but also on Sensei himself… I think I understand him better now. I will not leave him.

***

Here’s Genos’s section written officially by the HA in their guidebook

#opm #one punch man #genosai #genos #saitama #genos’s diary #fanmade #guidebook #hero association #genos is incredibly biased #my post

[danggirlronpa]

haiiiii :3 akane anon again. im off work now!

i agree w absolutely everything u said. she's been my fav ever for years and i have so many in depth thoughts abt how she could function on relationships w like. most of the girls. i could probably make a chart if i figured out a format.

chiakane soooo crazy. never been my main ship but ill consider anything. they r most interesting from a doomed standpoint to me...... akane as a remnant vs chiaki's existence as ai and (counting dr3 as canon which im not usually interested in doing) death before the tragedy. i think of them in almost a similar vein to the tragedy between madoka and homura except if homura was replaced by a kyoko who's a little worse w emotions. chiaki's entire being has become dedicated in one way or another to serving class 77 even if that means sacrificing herself over and over and akane has had every single meaningful relationship (or what SHOULD have been) ripped away or twisted and never having even really existed and she is so afraid of going through this again she doesn't even try and have relationships she cares about deeply (or at all!) that aren't w her siblings. so she would be PISSED to fall in love w chiaki who is already dead and doomed to die again. ive never believed the mastermind akane theory people talk abt at least fully but it IS interesting. i can make a killer chiakane au w it. w madoka magica parallels even. but ur right they can also be very very sweet. i think they would play super smash bros and akane would kinda suck at it (spams the buttons and thinks it's a pro strategy) but chiaki would let her win every once or twice. akane hears the rumours abt chiaki dating some random reserve course guy and sends the "im so happy for you and your ugly fucking boyfriend I'm serious" text after swearing to herself she doesn't even gaf

that's uh. that's a lot. im so sorry can you tell i have autism. this isn't even my favourite ship for either of them ask me about pekokane and i start growling like a rabid dog.

YES yes yes yes!! I am a HUGE Akane fan. She's the only character I have a real little collection of merch for (though that's partly just because so much merch excludes Mukuro). I didn't really attach to her the first time I played SDR2 but over time I've grown SO fond and defensive of her, she is such a sad and complex character who deserved to be treated better by her writers (and have less racist tropes associated with her. Spike Chunsoft. cough cough) and still deserves to be treated better by the fandom.

And I think you got it RIGHT on the money why I'm inclined towards Chiaki/Akane, actually. Akane has lived such a dark life that not only does she not know how to ask for help or rely on others, she doesn't even realize she needs to - for her, this is just how the world is. Akane, to me, is like the equivalent of a housecat looking at their humans and going, "They don't even know how to hunt. They're all so stupid. I have to go kill mice so they can eat. Are they even bathing themselves properly?? Licking time. Morons." She's incredibly resilient and smart within the context of the VERY SPECIFIC lifestyle she's lived.

And something really appeals to me about someone who solely exists to help people meeting Akane, thinking they can 'save' her, and slowly coming to realize that she is not dumb or unskilled just because she isn't skilled in the way they value. Learning that intelligence isn't a measure of worth and seeing & valuing Akane for who she is - and, at the same time, helping her see that some of the things she's gone through are truly, deeply traumatic, and helping her learn how to rely on others for the first time...that shit gets me. I Just Want Akane To Be Happy

#you are also correct and SO funny abt akane being pissed to fall in love #what is this? an emotion for ants??? #asks #anon #talk to the mod #chiakane #meta #headcanons #chiaki nanami #akane owari #sdr2

[growingdesires]

Hungry - Chapter 1

This was one of my first published stories, it is free on my Deviantart in full, here is the first chapter :)

____________________________________________________ Your head hits the pillow, you are not long for the waking world. Another rough day at college coupled with your roommates foolish idea to go out last night drinking. “Why did I have to take chemistry?” you curse to yourself “And why did I listen to Phils stupid plan to go out drinking!”. You groan, you know why, Emily was going to be there. Your mind starts to relax as you start to fall asleep. *Bzzt Bzzt* Your phone goes off. “Uggh” you peer over to the screen, Its Emily. Your eyes bolt open and you quickly snatch the phone from its charger. Emily:         I had a lot of fun last night Matt, I am suffering now though. Matt:         Me too, I just got in and I’m in bed Emily:         Lol same, I’m not sure how you managed to stay awake in Chemistry, I’m fairly sure I did fall asleep Matt:         You did, only reason you got up is because I coughed Emily:         Nice save, Mr Fletcher would’ve killed me if he would’ve noticed Matt:         That old coot, he is blind and should’ve retired ages ago Emily:         Too true, I hope you can make it tomorrow to the party at my dorm, low key stuff but you made the list Matt:         Definitely Emily:        See you tomorrow then, Good night xx Matt:        Night Emily Chambers. You’ve been crushing on her since high school, as it turns out you both went to the same college and you both took the same class. She is brilliant, incredibly smart, funny and very pretty. Emily is 6”1 and obviously towers over all of her friends, she is quite lean in her build with an even distribution of what little fat she does have on her body. As a result of her frame she isn’t curvy at all, whilst usually that means she wouldn’t be your type there is something about her that just clicks with you. You appreciate a larger woman, curvier the better and for the most part the bigger the better too. You estimate Emily to have B cups and her bum is trim and almost non-existent, her long beautiful legs are thin and smooth, her best asset other than her very pretty face. Her face is lean and she has a strong jawline, a wide mouth which just beams when she smiles. Flowing down her back is her long black hair which curls towards the ends. Even though you are exhausted, your conversation has you thinking about spending time with Emily tomorrow. She mentioned that it's low key, enough for you two to spend quality time together? You hope as you fall asleep. The next day flies by, not helped by your extended lay in. You go shopping for a few things to get you through next week's unrelenting college course and also some new clothes to go to Emily’s party. You start to get ready and check in with Phil. Hey man, you're not coming tonight?” you ask “Where? I wasn’t invited?” he seems a little hurt “Oh… well Emily invited me over for a party, she did say low key” Phil’s face breaks out in a stupid grin “Oh low key huh?” he winks You blush in response “I’m sure it's not like that… is it?” “All I’m going to say budd is pack some protection and make sure you look a million dollars” he punches you lightly on the arm “No it can’t be? But? Huh?” “Hey chill, don’t over think it Matt, you will be fine. Let me know the deets tomorrow, go get her tiger” “Huh? Yeah… right” “I’ll see you tomorrow if you do come back” Phil winks as he enters his bedroom You spend some extra time getting ready. Product in your hair, shaved smooth, bathed in cologne and your clothes look smart. You are ready to dazzle. Doing the classy thing you pick up a bottle of wine before you head over. When you arrive at Emily’s dorm, music can be heard from outside. You take a sharp inhale and knock. The door opens, It’s Emily. “Hi Matt, looking sharp, is that wine?” She laughs “Yeah… for the party?” you blush “Heh you are such a sweetheart, come on in” Following Emily into her dorm it has a fair sized living area with 2 couches and a big TV on the wall, you survey the room and see a few faces you recognize. Her close friends Jess, Joanne, Melissa and five guys, you don’t recognize them other than one. Brad Smith. Much like you he went to the same highschool but he was one of the popular kids. Brad was the quarterback for the school team, his mom and dad were big shots in the town, even as a straight man you could tell he was handsome. “Hey everyone, this is Matt, a good friend of mine, a chemistry nerd like me” Emily gives a sweet giggle “Hey everyone” you shyly wave Everyone introduces themselves to you and you mingle with everyone there for a while. You notice Emily is sticking close to Brad. After some time passes, some games and the hours get on people start to leave, stumbling out the door. You must admit that you are quite drunk yourself, you drank the wine almost all by yourself. This is it, you see your opportunity and sit next to Emily on the three seater. Brad sits to her left and you to the right, you try to join in the conversation but it’s no use. You spend the next hour trying to get included in their conversation but you instead just speak to the other party goers. Brad finally gets up to go to the “piss palace” as he so eloquently put it. Emily turns to you wide eyed with a big smile. “Oh Matt, I think he likes me” she beams Trying to hide your shame as you realise you have misread the situation. “Oh yeah?” you feign excitement, Emily is pretty drunk so I think she fell for it. “Yeah, I’ve never seen him sit with one girl for so long, Oh Matt I'm giddy!” “Well, play it smooth Emily, I’m sure if you feel this good then he must be giving you good signs”. Expertly delivered, I don’t think she could tell you are dying inside “Good advice Matt, you are such a good friend” Like a dagger through your heart you suppress your frown as best as you can. “We are going to head off now Em, I hope you have a good night” Melissa winks as her and Jess start to leave “Hey Matt, I think it's time we left” she adds as she gives you a light tap on your arm. “Yeah, good idea Jess, I’m going to turn in Em, see you monday” you flash her a fake smile before leaving with the others. After closing the door you go the opposite direction for Jess & Melissa. A bit of fresh air to clear your head before you get back to your dorm. You stumble in as quietly as a drunk person can and fall face first onto your bed. *Knock Knock* What pure evil creature is knocking at my door at this ungodly hour, you squint as the light burns your eyes whilst the burden of being conscious weighs heavily on your skull. “Who is it?” you groggily call “It’s me bud” “You know I was-” “I’ve got someone to see you Matt, I hope you are decent” You sit up and stretch with a mighty yawn. Luckily you cleaned your room yesterday and yesterday’s clothes will have to do, you pop a mint in hopes that it will help with your breath, quick comb of your hair. “Yeah, send them in” The door opens and you see Emily. Her eyes are puffy and her eyeliner is running down her cheeks. “Good morning… everything all right?” you break the silence. “Everything alright? What a stupid question” you think to yourself Tears form in her eyes and she dashes into your room. Instinctively you hold out your arms to offer her a comforting embrace. “What irony, you wanted her in your room but not like this, this is some cursed monkey paw shit” you think to yourself whilst she sobs into your shoulder. 5 minutes pass, slowly she calms down and raises her head off your shoulder. “Oh Matt, I am so sorry, I didn’t know who else to turn to” “It’s ok, you can talk to me” you say, taking your new friendzone role seriously “Brad is a jerk” “Did he hurt you?” you say with venom in your voice “Not like that… once he got back from the toilet I started to make a move… he turned me down, said I was a flat chested nerd” She starts sobbing again “What an asshole” “What a shallow bastard… I like him and he shoots me down like that… it hurts” “I know the feeling” you say under your breath “Huh? What?” “Nothing, I just said he's a dick” “Yeah… he really is” “Right wait here, I’ll be back in 30 seconds” you head towards the kitchen. You open your freezer and grab a tub of ice cream and 2 spoons and head back into your room, fire up netflix and sit back down. “I’ve not had many female friends but I believe the social norm is to watch some junk TV and eat ice cream in this scenario” you chuckle and see a smile creep over her face “You are a good friend Matt” You spend the next 2 hours watching any old rubbish on netflix and sharing ice cream. Emily has a bit of a sweet tooth as she devoured 90% of the ice cream herself. Randomly she pauses the TV and turns to you. “Do you think I'm a flat chested nerd?” a serious glare in her eyes Completely caught off guard you can’t control the shocked reaction you give her “C’mon we are friends, you can answer” She adds “I mean from one chemistry nerd to another, yes we are nerds” you joke, she reveals a tiny smile for a brief moment before the serious look returns “And my chest?” You go red in the face “Erm, Your chest, I mean, No you aren’t flat chested” you stammer “I’m a B cup, not big sure but not flat chested. Brad, what an ass hole. Have you got any more ice cream?” “All out sorry Em” “Probably for the better. Thank you Matt, I think I’m going to go now anyway, you’ve been a good friend today. I’ll see you tomorrow morning” “Oh sure, I’ll let you out” You show Emily out and she remarks at what a gentleman you are. Phil is peering through the door at you from his room. “Sooooo?” he exits his room with a big smirk “I mean I didn’t hear any noises so-” “No” you interrupt “It didn’t go like that at all” “Well tell ya boy Phil all about it” “Ok so last night…” You give Phil all the “deets” that you remember from last night and everything from this morning “Wow so the highschool quarterback, popular, rich, snooty athlete was an asshole… who would’ve thought?” Phil rolls his eyes “Well not Emily I guess” “Well how are you Matt?” “Feeling pretty shitty… I got my hopes up and I shouldn't have but hey maybe I can just be in the friendzone and maybe we will just be friends…” “My advice, try to avoid that, it will hurt more. You can be her friend but after you’ve lost your feelings for her” “Makes sense. I’m going to shower and chill in my room today, if you need anything just knock” “Same for you bud” You spend the day watching TV, playing games and relaxing before class starts again tomorrow morning.        

#Weightgain #weight #gain #belly #expansion #bellyexpansion #eating #stuffing #bloating #stuffed #stuffedbelly #teasing #tease #flirty #hungry #story #ertoica

[limborooster]

going to spit out my thoughts here pardon me

i’m irrationally afraid my cats will forget me and not like me anymore while i’m off living in a dorm fr two years and then when i can move off campus and they can live with me they won’t like it

i’m rationally afraid that my elderly cat will die while i’m 2.5 hours away at school and even if i leave for home immediately when my mom tells me his body will be cold when i arrive

he’s in decently good health for a 15 year old but my one cat spontaneously died when i was younger and now i’m paranoid

i was super sick today from my covid booster and i can tell i’m getting better because i am incredibly hungry and have a very strong urge to go outside and to sew

unfortunately it is 2:30 am

i hope my school does movie character day during a spirit week again this year because i want to show off my improved spock closet cosplay

i wish that fur didn’t take 400 years to ship from howl and fs supplies because i want to sew so bad

also fursuit making is hard wtf it’s very frustrating

hopefully it’s worth it

today i discovered my love for vegetable stock

this is good news because i hate most soups

i’m so excited my parents are going to help me make a resume because i finally got my working papers and i’m going to apply to joann!!! employee discount + talking to people about their cool projects + old ladies + moms + crochet girlies + furries + stocking shelves i am so excited

it’s all i’ve ever dreamed of

i used to live nearby our joann

i’m scared to go to college because they don’t have my regular grocery store there

fuck you capital region why don’t you have wegmans i need wegmans i don’t want to choose between whole foods and price chopper

the nearest ones to there (albany) are literally MY hometown wegmans and one in fuckin massachusetts which are both ~2 hours away

unreal

also you can’t have a microwave in your dorm

so

yeah

it’s worth it though everything else is so good

combined bachelors masters program

no corridor style dorms (no communal bathrooms)

indescribably awesome student groups and clubs there’s so much cool stuff and they’re so well run

very easily walkable and centralized campus while still being aesthetically pleasing

dog mascot.

my mommy goes there !!!! she takes online classes but still they’re at albany

so i’m at the same school as my mom

also i’m just now realizing in commonapp i put no relatives have attended but she probably counts. stupid i guess i didn’t think about it because it was phrased in past tense and she is currently attending

i am not very bright sometimes

i have to get a rec letter for a scholarship about why i’d be good for the socio program

i think i’ll ask my former philosophy teacher because that is the most relevant i guess

all the other ones i have good relationships with are stem teachers

which is weird because i’m better at humanities and stuff

i guess i’ve just had bad luck with humanities teachers

i also guess that’s not really true i typically enjoy social studies more with individual study rather than at school because my school doesn’t offer very good classes

whereas i’ve had great science and math classes and i have fun at school with those

i need to go to sleep but i took a five hour nap today so i’m not tired

idk what to get people for christmas

it always sneaks up on me like this

idek what i want for christmas

i have chest hair now

i think it’s been filling in for a while but i’m noticing it now

as time passes i love my body more and more

can’t wait until next year i can be flat

shit i have to tell my mom to contact the psych eval people to get on the waitlist for my surgery approval

balls

i will be so attractive

my sister is taking me to get a tattoo with her this spring for a belated birthday present (because i will be 18 in january)

oh also im gonna start practicing for my road test to get my license

all i have to do is not suck at parallel parking and then i can finally drive myself to school and not have to bother my poor parents with it

and go home for lunch!!!!

and go to the store whenever i want to!!!!

and surprise my gf by dropping things off at her house and driving her places !!! yay !!!

oh my little subaru outback that was my dads car for several years and smells like mold because he left the sunroof open and it rained inside the car how i love you

freshmen aren’t allowed to have cars on campus at albany but we’re gonna cheat the system and get a parking pass in my moms name because she’s a student

and obviously doesn’t need it bc she attends online

i want to put fake grass on the floor

so sad i can’t do it on the drivers side because like .. pedals

but i can do it everywhere else

i can do whatever i want to this car because i will use it until it’s only good for salvage

i think about the one episode of star trek where data makes a child and she develops feelings and she says i love you and he says i wish i could feel it with you

feel that

because i feel like my romantic and general affectionate drive is so low compared to normal

idk i don’t understand myself

it’s not that i don’t feel things

i feel very deep love and reverence for many things

i think that maybe i shut down and so my feelings get hidden

oh yeah guys don’t get divorced when your child is turning 11 because they will be irreparably damaged

this is a little bit exaggeratey because mostly the problem was there was a lot of lies and deception along with the complicated emotions that come with being on the verge of understanding and not understanding how marriage and love and affairs and adulthood work and also having your reverence for your parents shattered very suddenly rather than a nice steady realization that they are not superhuman

i need to investigate that trauma a little more i think

it’s 3 now

i wanted to just go to sleep asap but now i’ve gotten to the point where i’m so hungry i’m nauseated so i have to eat

man

now my sleeping and eating schedules are off

stupid vaccine

at least they work this is objectively better than covid but still god damn

probably it’s worse because i got a flu shot at the same time but gahhhh

alright i wanted pasta but the only stuff we have is this chickpea based penne

which i love chickpeas but i’ve never tried this so idk

also i felt bad having the light on with my parents upstairs so i’m cooking by the light of the stove burner it’s so cozy

reminds me of last april when we had no power for five days

no cell service no wifi no heat no running water no lights and no leaving the house bc my mom had covid

we used snowmelt to flush the toilets

so lucky for our gas stove bc we could light it with matches and boil water to clean ourselves and heat up food

i read the whole fazbear frights series in those days

school was closed bc the school had no power but once it reopened we still didn’t so i got to skip for a day

it was a lot of fun except i got cystic acne from not being able to shower properly for five days as a sweaty testosterone man

it’s raining out and my cat has joined me this is so cozy

ok the pasta feels a bit weird but it’s sooooo good with butter and salt (don’t have sauce)

i’m back in bed watching the episode of star trek

why is picard sometimes so forward thinking and sometimes such a dickhole

even after watching through the whole series i can’t tell if i really like him or not