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thesherrinfordfacility · 8 months

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i did not break my own heart last night thinking about the missing 1941 scene and have it sat in my brain all of today spinning around like a fucking microwave in order to not make you lot suffer with me. and i somehow feel i may be right about this so buckle up and lets break it down.

so yes, following on from this post, i think that there is going to be a third 1941 scene. twice is a coincidence, three times is a pattern. it's been literally set up like that by even bringing back 1941 into s2 in the first place. but we're missing a crucial detail because it does not - at all, really - explain how they went from evading danger from hell and having a cosy candlelit bottle of red to celebrate, to the bastard 1967 scene. we all know this, this is nothing new.

the symbolism of nightingales is probably going to cast a shadow on this. these two excellent analyses look at the meaning of nightingales in the context of R&J, and the relation that the song has to this point in time, respectively. in summary; it's a song that should be around in 1941 courtesy of vera lynn and others, and the nightingale itself carries the meaning of love being hidden and forbidden by way of it singing under the cover of darkness, before being replaced with reality and soberness - represented by the lark. the Dinner of '41 scene is set in the bookshop at night; this would parallel - that they are safe and concealed, and truths can be shared, but the writing is on the wall that stepping outside would be to shatter the illusion, so to speak. it might be that the song itself gets miracled up onto the record player, or a wireless lying about - whatever. note: i don't think they'll dance though, not given crowley in ep5, "you don't dance"... but then again, if there ISNT a kiss in s3-1941, an aborted dance seems like the next best option... the cowardly one, but i'll take it

this would also track with aziraphale having his epiphany after the church in s1-1941; specifically, in my eyes, that he doesn't necessarily just realise he loves crowley, but that crowley by way of saving his books loves him too. this is only supported by the whole of the s2-1941 scene of trusting in each other as the only way to pull off the trick, the subterfuge. this is then, again, also important in the context of what i think happens in s3-1941.

i do think aziraphale is going to bring the books up again, and what crowley did, because it needs to be addressed. the Nazis/furfur confrontation has scared him, regardless of whether he saved them both, more than he realised. its put things into startling perspective. i think he's going to bring up the books, and actually question crowley a little more as to why he did it. the repeated use of, and subsequent weird reaction crowley has to, the use of the term "friend" in s2-1941 would indicate that this is going to be a focal point in s3-1941. are they just friends? is crowley disappointed that aziraphale is still referring to him as that, after what he did? 'saving' aziraphale in the church, and then saving his books? or is aziraphale just saying 'friends' so hesitantly in both instances because he's not completely sure where crowley stands?

we as the audience know the answer to this, but they obviously do not. if one of the crucial themes of s3 is going to be resolving miscommunication, it makes sense for this scene to be the first, and last, time they communicate properly... at least, until they sort out the issues that culminated in the Final Fifteen.

so let's say they start getting into a very roundabout way of discussing what they mean to each other. there will need to be the sobering, ice-water-over-the-head realisation however, as s2-1941 demonstrated, that they cannot belong to each other, because they manifestly belong to heaven and hell respectively. crowley is still being spied on, and it firmly places aziraphale in their line of sight too. it's going to bring up the holy water discussion; why crowley asked for it - to protect himself, whether by taking out demons or taking out himself, as long as it means he - and most importantly, aziraphale - does not get hurt.

they actively confess that they want to be together, in a way that is more than they are now. aziraphale wants to, but says that they can't, because it's too dangerous. crowley suggests that no one ever has to know, they can hide it (there, in the bookshop, whilst the nightingale is singing), and even if they are found out, they can run. "hell won't just be angry; they'll destroy you..." // "no one ever has to know".

aziraphale doesn't want to have to hide it, doesn't want a halfway measure- is still thinking in black and white. crowley however thinks that something is better than nothing - thinking in the grey. but ultimately, as long as they are still shackled, they cannot do what they want, and it puts the other in danger. "surely the great thing about being a demon is that you can do whatever you want" // "you sound jealous, angel...". instead, aziraphale promises that the day that they are no longer tied to heaven or hell, they can be together; crowley scoffs, thinking that that will never happen, so they will never happen, "you're so clever! how can someone as clever as you be so stupid?!"

the reason they can't right now is because they could be caught. they would have to skulk around, be ashamed, feel guilty - and aziraphale is tired of feeling like that. because only having crowley in secret would hurt more. not being able hold his hand, or dance with him, or kiss him, unless it was in the bookshop. if hell were to find out, crowley would be killed, true, but if heaven were to find out, aziraphale could be cast out. and if crowley survived hell long enough to see aziraphale fall - he'd never forgive himself, and in a way, i don't think he'd ever forgive aziraphale either.

it's tearing them to pieces, but they have to stop whatever is happening between them in its tracks. it's acknowledged, but it's not named. this gives them plausible deniability; if they called it 'love', it would be undeniable. so, aziraphale asks for crowley to go; asks him to leave before they do something they can't come back from. crowley doesn't listen - crowds him, gets in close, and aziraphale is powerless to stop it. doesn't want to stop it. he's selfish by nature, a selfless kind of selfishness, but he wants this with all his being. and then - "this is too fast, crowley, please don't..." // "im sorry, angel. please... please, forgive me". aziraphale never gets to answer, to grant him that, because boom - the actual first kiss.

so. now that i've had to make you read that, i'm going in for the kill. let's look at everything that follows - and look at how the above might recontextualise it.

1967: the offer of the picnic, the Ritz? ie. the literal lyrics of berkeley square? aziraphale has caved in the interest of giving crowley a weapon to use if all else fails, to protect him, but that's as far as he's willing to progress. everything else is still too painful; he's on the brink of tears, promising that one day they'll be able to do what they want, to be open about how they feel, but not yet. they can't. crowley tries to push, "ill give you a lift, anywhere you want to go..." (him offering again to run away? a second chance to leg it?), and aziraphale reminding him that they can't, he can't... don't make him go too fast again, it's not fair. it also sets up perfectly that aziraphale and crowley don't speak for the next 40 or so years (as far as we're aware) until armageddon is threatened.

bandstand: mostly this is still centred around the apocalypse contextually, but i think with the above hypothetical scene in mind (the offer to hide, to run away, to be together), aziraphale is sent back to remembering their mutual confession that they've nonverbally agreed not to bring up, because it's not safe, and it's too painful. they've skirted around it, and returned instead to a tentative kind of friendship at the beginning of s1, but they're still not safe to address why seeing each other again, being so close to each other and not being able to touch is so painful. anyway - aziraphale refuses their side, but the above scene would re-view this as 'our side can't exist yet, you know this! you know why it can't!', and crowley leaves, again after pushing a bit more than aziraphale can stand.

alpha centauri: basically a facsimile of the above; same steps, same dance. but this time, crowley harks back to aziraphale's foolish (?) hope that they will be together, without having to run away, when the day comes that they don't have to answer to heaven or hell. and aziraphale smacks him right back, echoing crowley asking for aziraphale's forgiveness in kissing him, "i forgive you." crowley knows exactly what aziraphale is getting at, there - he's answering crowley's whispered plea to forgive him for pushing, for trying to force him, for acting in desperation. but he's also not answering that - he's skirting around that very thing, forgiving him like a knife would, slicing back at crowley for not only insulting aziraphale on something that is likely a genuine insecurity of his, but also putting him back in his place, for their safeties, because them being together just cannot happen. not yet.

and "please forgive me" in 1941 might seem out of character, but idk if it is; crowley knows that doing what he's about to do will hurt aziraphale, aziraphale has (hypothetically) told him as much, but he needs to do it - and seeks not benevolence or forgiveness as crowley-the-demon, but actually seems aziraphale's forgiveness, as crowley-the-person. the echo would certainly match the tone given here, in multiple ways:

the ritz: i mean, what is there to say? yes, their song is literally playing on the piano, and heralds the shift in their being out from heaven and hell, the day has finally come where they can - again, going by this entirely hypothetical scene that ive concocted - actually be together as they want to. and the nightingale literally singing outside, but as @shoemakerobstetrician beautifully pointed out, god remarks that it's covered up by traffic. so actually, if we again refer back to R&J interpretation of the nightingale, the love is still hidden, still somewhat under wraps, but can only just about be heard over the noise of the streets outside. the prohibition of them being together, of loving each other, is dwindling. and one day, it'll stop singing altogether. that day is coming, it will come, and then they can do what they please. so whilst the ritz scene may well be a mark of them starting the next chapter, it's slow to take hold, there's still hesitancy - which absolutely makes sense when we see that they are still very tentative with each other come the beginning of s2.

s2 general: aziraphale realises their freedom first; he gets excited by the dance, and being able to show his love to crowley, completely and without barriers, in the form of the ball - what he has read to be the best way to do so. he touches crowley more. he shares his bookshop with him, gifts it to crowley as being his as well as aziraphale's, this safe space that is so wholly theirs that crowley has the power to grant entry. the same with the bentley - aziraphale sees it as theirs, and crowley silently agrees, granting aziraphale the same power. crowley is comfortable in the bookshop to remove his glasses, has a place for them. the bookshop becomes tidier, more minimalist, to make crowley more comfortable in it (it is more cluttered in s1, im certain of it). it might just be the grading between s1 and s2, and lack of clutter, but the yellow is more prominent - his literal favourite colour. everything just screams that aziraphale is ready to make good on his promise from s3-1941.

crowley... for once, is the one not quite catching up. not realising the little dates here and there are literally poses them as a couple (although yes, the coffee shop one is to prep crowley for the goob jumpscare), that aziraphale has granted him the power to grant entry. aziraphale literally asking, practically begging, crowley to help him hide goob. the mf colour of the walls. the colour of the bentley. it's not until nina outright asks him if they are together that he realises how careless they've been - but wait, is it careless if they have nothing to be careful of? well, arguably crowley does, hell are still hanging around him like a bad smell... but this is what he wanted! this is what he was pushing aziraphale for! so, does he risk it? he's not sure, but he's certainly realising that aziraphale is ready, if nothing else. and by the time the ladies stage their little intervention, crowley finally realises that the confession he started in 1941 now can be fully aired, can come out into the open.

the Feral Domestic: *fingers at temples* i know i have been fairly vocal about my interpretation of this scene, and frankly - until we get this hypothetical s3-1941 scene, i stand by it - but let's say this speculation about the scene is true, and re-examine the key points in the Final Fifteen that would completely turn on their heads in terms of meaning:

literally, harking back full circle to what aziraphale promised in 1967 as what they would do when they could fully acknowledge their love, and what they did as soon as - on paper - they were free at the end of s1. this is however before he's spoken to by nina and maggie, so maybe this is what crowley was planning in terms of confessing fully to aziraphale, but after their meddling he realised that yes, they need to actually talk about it again. he doesn't understand why they're telling him what they are - because he's existed so long in gestures and gifts and not talking, literally dismissed it now as a viable option, that it doesn't even occur to him to try talking again.

which is why he does something brave, and tries to tell aziraphale instead (say it out loud, make it undeniable, put a name to it, "i love you", something that i think was crowley's actual intention before aziraphale interrupts him) when he comes back to the shop... he's so nervous, because it's vulnerable, and because the last time he did, they ended up hiding for 50-ish years.

next up:

now, im reluctant to think that aziraphale lied in the Feral Domestic, because i do think the key thing at work is his paramount need to do the Right Thing (ie. make a difference in heaven). whilst metatron obviously manipulates him, im not entirely convinced that aziraphale wholly sees through it. i don't think he knew that metatron was up to something, i think the shaking off of this naivety is going to be part of his s3 character development. but this sentence - again, especially in context of the hypothetical s3-1941 scene - must on some level frighten him. especially if you take this meta into account, aziraphale must realise at least that they were never safe, even when they were denying what they were and how they felt, it didn't make a bit of difference. now, metatron could have just been talking about the arrangement, not referring to any romantic elements of any kind, but the threat of it? no wonder he pushes for crowley to join him in heaven; he could keep crowley safe there. they could be together, and heaven - in his eyes - would be able to say a word against it.

then:

the fear sets in; crowley was too late in telling him, acknowledging that they could be together, realising what aziraphale was saying to him without words, and now heaven has come for him. plonked them right back where they were in s2-1941, but perversely mirrored; instead of hell coming for crowley with violence, heaven came for aziraphale with kindness. crowley doesn't have a magic trick he can just do on the fly, perform it perfectly when the need for it is greatest, and has to cling to the hope that aziraphale still sees them as the barrier to them, the reason they can't be together. and in true miscommunication fashion, i think aziraphale does see it, but what metatron said lingers, and in addition to being inside the institution, changing it from the inside out, in order to make a difference... he knows that whilst it's exactly the opposite of what they wanted, he needs to make them safe. better to be inside the tent pissing out, than outside the tent pissing in.

but aziraphale doesn't tell crowley what metatron said, because instead he either deliberately tries to deny the implications of it (cognitive dissonance king behaviour), or he doesn't want to panic crowley and is trying to convey to crowley that he can't speak his concerns, not when the metatron could still be watching, and instead just needs crowley to trust him, take his hand, and join him in heaven where they can be safe. doesn't tell crowley that heaven hasn't captured him in shackles again, but he's willingly held out his wrists because it's the safest thing for him, and them, to do.

so it's one thing to look at what crowley's saying, but aziraphale's reaction? before, i just found it to be out of confusion, him not really understanding what crowley was saying, but tbh i never paid much attention to it (david stole this bit of the scene - not to put down my beloved michael here, but he did). and i know others have remarked here that aziraphale is flitting his eyes to the window and looks scared and stressed, but i don't completely think that its because he's scared that metatron is watching (although, now, i will accept with the rug thing and hypothetical s3-1941 in context it is definitely playing a part), but also because he's just starting to recognise that this is a repeat of the s3-1941 scene, "this sounds familiar, we've been here before... oh, we've definitely been here before... oh shit. i still can't do this, not unless he comes with me. we still can't be together, not in the way crowley wants. the way he's trying again, now, to ask for."

but the issue is: crowley wants to run away together. again. and i totally get why, but once again, going back to 1941: it's exactly the solution that will not work. they cannot run from this. heaven, and hell, will find them. they will come for them. it wasn't an option in 1941, it wasn't an option in 2019, and it isn't an option in 2023. aziraphale begins shaking his head - crowley is confessing, but a) aziraphale doesn't run from things, it isnt in his character, and b) it's just putting them back where they started - something that they have to hide. it defeats the purpose.

and this? yeah, im sure on neither side it was meant the way im about to interpret it, more of an unspoken thing, idk... but if the bookshop is indeed their place of safety, and is where they (as far as crowley sees it) can speak and keep their love, it makes sense that crowley is telling aziraphale he needs to stay. the bookshop can be interpreted so many ways - it represents their relationship, or that crowley means him, himself - but what if we looked at it like crowley is trying now to covet it, because it's protecting them? what if he's saying, "well, if you won't run away with me, we can't be free to have our relationship as we wanted it, not unless we stay here... heaven has come for you, has come for us, and whilst they're here we can't move. so what other option is left remain in this bookshop? to never leave it, and what we have inside it, because there's no other option in which we can be together if you won't run with me."

and what if aziraphale is saying, "no, i have an option, and that's to be together in heaven! they won't be able to do anything, not when im in the position the metatron has offered me, that can be our new bookshop... nothing lasts forever - this bookshop won't last forever, it's compromised, and we can't continue to secret away what we feel inside it, it's time to move forward."

welcome to the line that breaks my heart the most in this whole goddamn scene - and tbh i think is fairly self-explanatory in the hypothetical s3-1941 context. that aziraphale is trying, once again, to tell crowley that he is offering himself, letting them be an 'us', as crowley says shortly after - that before he couldnt do it, and these arent the best of circumstances, but they can finally do it and not have to hide in the bookshop. but crowley reminds him, "hey, i was in your shoes, remember. i wanted us to be together then, and you told me you couldn't, didn't want a halfway measure - well, now i don't either. and this will be a halfway measure, because i don't think us being together in heaven is going to go the way you hope it will. i understand a whole lot better than you do." in any case, it would explain why aziraphale choses this moment to look so devastated. this is what he promised crowley, but now crowley - to his mind, in the things left Unsaid - doesn't want it... him.

and then... back to the nightingales. they're not singing at all, not even under the rumble of traffic, like they were at the Ritz. they're completely absent - day has broken, the things unspoken have now been said, and there's no denying them anymore. from crowley's point of view, there was nothing to stop them this time, but if aziraphale won't run with him, then they have to go separate ways, because there is no other way. aziraphale knows there's the possibility that the only place they could actually be safe is heaven itself, that the bookshop was never as safe as they hoped it had been, but that crowley might actually come to see that. but the fact that crowley is resigned to just... returning to 'reality', to a world that's still turning where they aren't together? despite everything they've just said? "we could've been... us." well, that hurts.

and then... the kiss. now. im still of the mind that the kiss was an Issue. i definitely think it was meant out of love and desperation, and out of possibly being a goodbye. this would echo the hypothetical s3-1941 kiss... but it was hurtful. it was abrupt, and harsh, and not at all romantic (imo). it was possessive, and almost cruel. i do think still it was a last ditch attempt, a temptation, to get aziraphale to change his mind, before crowley leaves the shop and returns to the 'real world'. but it hurts aziraphale in many different ways - but with 1941 put in there, too? crowley is just testing his resolve, trying to push him, come around to giving in. crowley asked him to forgive him the last time he kissed aziraphale, and this time - this time, aziraphale is giving him what he asked for.

#did i just do a whole ass meta based off of a completely hypothetical non-existent hc of the third part of 1941?#yes - yes i did #but the Implications would not leave my brain #make of this what you will if you even got to the end and if you did frankly congratulations #good omens

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upsidedownmvnson · 1 year

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eddie hates his birthday. it always put pressure on wayne, which he hated to add to. plus, its not like he needs anything. but still every year theres a present and an ice cream cake.

and wayne wants to give him more but he just can’t

but this year was different because he had you. he had someone to spend his birthday with.

he has been thinking about the guaranteed birthday beej all fucking day long

but you called him to tell him you were running late, and then wayne called to say he picked up a job with really good pay…

so eddie walked up the the trailer alone on his birthday, and he’s contemplating hating it again this year anyway.

waynes typical decoration of a single helium balloon tied to the steps with a crudely drawn band logo, that wayne scribbles on with sharpie & writes happy birthday! underneath.

he did not expect, however, to enter a totally crammed trailer, all screaming “surprise!” and scaring the crap out of him

he screamed, terrified, but quickly smiled, realizing that there more people here than there literally ever has been

the whole hellfire club, wayne & you

oh, and erica came too. because she was forced (she wanted to)

of course this was mostly you, he grabbed you, spinning you, nearly knocking into half the crowd.

“i think its time to take this outside” wayne said, trying not to cry at the sight of eddies genuinely happy smile. he hadnt seen him smile like this on his birthday since well… idk ever?

eddies heart was going to burst. there was just no way he landed someone like you, someone willing to put in all this work just for eddie to have a nice birthday. someone willing to put time into him. it made him feel loved. you had slowly made him feel worthy of being loved, something he didnt know would ever happen.

and he couldnt believe his eyes when wayne brought out a homemade two story cake, but the top had been carved to look like a stage, and decorated to look like a metal concert on top, with a little eddie figurine rocking out on guitar, and a sour patch audience

“thats another little gift for you,” you said, pointing at the little thing. a dnd miniature, but of eddie.

as you all sang happy birthday, he was unusually quiet and content, but not in a bad way. his lips held a light smile, and his eyes were as soft as theyd ever been. just trying to process the new chapter of his life that he welcomes with open arms. he caught your eye and didnt let it go until the end.

eddie blew out his candles with the biggest, cheesiest smile on his face while you and everyone else clapped, laughing and enjoying the moment. while wayne cut into the cake and served it to hellfire, you pestered him about his wish, begging and resorting the pulling on the birthday hat, letting it snap on his head.

“i wished for a bike”

“uh oh, you actually said! your wish isnt gunna come true now!” you fake pout.

but it didnt matter to him at all, because everytime he looked at you he saw 10 years of birthday wishes that came true.

#eddie munson x fem!reader #stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fic #stranger things fic #stranger things s4 #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #stranger things fiction #eddie munson x you #stranger things fanfiction #st4 #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson imagines #stranger things 4 #eddie munson request #eddie munson blurb

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plasmasimagination · 8 days

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lyney x male reader fluff

like fluff n cuddles after a show

HIII SWEETIEEEE YIPPEEE lyney requests >:}

Character : lyney

Synopsis : cuddles after lyneys magic show

Warnings: a bit angsty idk, tired lyney, playful kiss, aaaah

Magical, one word to describe the incredible sensation in front of your very eyes, lyneys shows were always so extraordinary, no matter how many times you attended them, you were still amazed every time. How could you not be? Its your boyfriend on stage after all, with that charming smile, and wink he flashes the audience,but you know who that smirk is for, and you also see how his eyes glide over you through our the show, but you knew him deeper than the smirk he shows, you knew how nervous he is.

So to no suprise, after the curtains close, and the crowd leaves, you run up the stairs of the stage, steps heavily creaking on the wood, as you pull the curtains back, a flinch from lyney, but he soon recovers, making it seem as if nothing. But the tiredness in his eyes, and the heaviness of his body was noticeable. This was the third show today, usually he has one per week, but the season has been busy, not that hes complaining, but he cannot lie that it isnt draining him. But he can lie, for you atleast. He smiles tiredly, but soon lowers his head, takes a step towards you, he cannot resist you, he never could.

Before he knows it he's in your arms, so tightly embraced by your strong yet tender arms, he just wants to relax, to have nothing to worry about, and he doesnt when hes with you, like this, in your arms. Behind the curtains, solely you two, on the quiet quiet stage. He smiles against your neck, squeezing you tighter, planting a quick kiss on your jaw, just as a little playful gesture, however tired he may be, he's never too tired to tease you...

Even though, now hes just going to snuggle into your embrace, wishing to simply stay like this forever, to never worry about anything but you, your warmth, and your comfort. His arms around your waist, his head in the crook of your neck, nothing but the breaths of you two being heard in the room. These are the moments he cherishes the most, your bodies so close, almost emerging together, with nothing but calmness and love between you two

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simplydnp · 1 month

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genuinely wondering why phil was considered the "ugly one" out of dan and phil. he's so hot? like there was a time where by some fans phil was literally seen as second best always... has that changed completely? i see more phillies than dannies these days which used to be absolutely the other way round if i remember correctly... like maybe it's just due to the fact that the fans grew up and delevoped some brain cells and/or phil having a glow up. what do you think abt this?

caveat: attraction is subjective and this is not a definitive guide as to what counts as hotness, nor is hotness the epitome of existence or something that people 'need' in order to exist, but instead this serves as an exploration into the culture surrounding perception of appearance as it relates to dan and phil, with care to note that 'conventional' beauty standards are highly correlated with white features and are problematic for many reasons but especially the racist aspect. i do not endorse the 'conventional' standard as the only acceptable one, but it would be remiss to ignore the fact that it plays a role in this conversation, especially in 2010s culture.

this is an interesting question for me because i don't Get all the layers of attraction just in general. so much of it makes very little sense, despite how hard i've tried to understand it. and what i've found out is that it's not supposed to make sense, it's something that just is and. well. my brain doesn't like that 😂 i've 'learned' what 'conventional' beauty standards are and thus can somewhat identify 'objectively' attractive people/qualities, but i'm absolutely just three possums in a trenchcoat on good days 🤣 so my best approximation is as follows:

- phil *pulled* back in the day online

- he stopped playing into it as much and because he wasn't exuding it as much, people stopped seeing it

- combine this with the less traditionally masculine energy he conveyed, alongside moving moreso away from the fully 'emo' look

- i think his fashion sense/choices played into this as well, came across very much like 'guy in tshirt' --which is fine, but unless your features really meet societal beauty standards at the time, it's not 'selling' you in the 'hot' department

- as well, contrasted with dan who had more of the 'societal beauty standard' look, people were less likely to see him in that role, especially because he seemed quite happy not being there (i'd argue some of it was a confidence thing too, especially on a day to day--the outfits video in gamingmas kind of confirmed that for me. he Knew he rocked that plaid suit, cause he did, but i don't think he felt that about his every day attire)

- people love to sort people into boxes and did as much with dnp, especially in making dnp 'opposites' (despite this not actually being true)

- truly think the fringe staying as long as it did didn't help, especially when, self-admittedly, it got a little blocky near the end.

- i think quiff really unlocked something in him. it really suited him, and he felt quite confident about it, as he had every right to. this, combined with a fashion upgrade in him paying a little more attention to it and developing his own personal style, people started to notice. (also dan hyping him up publicly about it made us talk about it more too)

- further style enhancements, more quiff experience led to him experimenting a little more, which let him find things he really liked

- i also think he's learned how to pose better/isnt 'being intentionally awkward' in pictures as much

- his ykw i want a change and idc what you all think attitude in going back to brown, and then into messy--he really Knows he's attractive now and how to dress himself to bring that out (even if he doesnt feel like it all the time)

there has definitely been a shift--i think the fandom has gotten smaller, and a lot of their 'mainstream' audience were dannies back in the heyday bc of the 'societal beauty standards'. so combine many of those people leaving, at a similar timeline to phil figuring his 'look' out, his audience getting older (and the lesbians being Very fond of him), and his consistency in uploading the last few years, i think it all swirls into this current existence where there's a lot of phillies out there and they're loud and proud about it (as they should be), especially cause a lot of them have Always Known but it wasn't the 'popular' take at the time.

i am but a hapless dannie and any phillies who would like to share their two cents/drag me for being wrong pls do so

#i hope this makes sense #there has absolutely been a culture shift and there's a lot of reasons imo why #dnp #c.text #answered

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babygirltangerine · 8 months

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tangerine completely falls apart without lemon, but lemon is able to finish the mission without tangerine. this tends to hurt my heart a little but i also realize that there isnt really room in the runtime or the script to explore the depth of lemon's grief, and he is grieving, it's obvious, i mean. he arguably tries to kill himself. but he needs to be a team player, he comes back to life to serve a purpose, and i enjoy that he's able to do that. his story was not over, but tangerine's story ended the moment he saw lemon dead in that bathroom. the thought alone of being without lemon shatters him completely and its his fear of it that undoes him. he's not able to stand on his own. tangerine fronts as this strong, professional, adaptable person who is a leader and a thinker and is capable of doing what needs to be done. and he's bossy, and he gets frustrated with lemon's laid-back, go with the flow style of working. in the time we spend with the twins before the briefcase is stolen, tangerine's loudness about his own proficiencies and about lemon's irresponsibility inform the audience who these characters are, and we're meant to agree with him. but then the movie takes the time to show us this is not the case, and that lemon is the stronger one, he's smarter and more thoughtful, he's analytical and he's secure in himself and he's a fighter, and he's skilled in all the ways tangerine wishes he were better, and he's capable in all the ways tangerine pretends to be. lemon being able to pull himself together and push his grief to the side doesn't mean he's not grieving or that he loves tangerine any less, it's just another moment that proves how resilient he is.

#twins codependency lets talk about it #bullet train #lemon #tangerine #tangerine and lemon #tangerine bullet train #lemon bullet train #meta

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iamjackstylerdurden · 10 months

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ok but dennis’s hands shaking late at night while texting mac as johnny and he tells himself its bc the room is cold or hes stressed but its actually bc its getting more and more difficult to know where dennis ends and johnny begins. when johnnys texting mac all the things he loves about him but its really everything dennis loves about mac. and when mac texts all the things he loves about johnny its all the things he loves about dennis. because dennis made johnny just like him. he wants to be caught by mac because he cant catch himself. he knew from the start it wasnt sustainable. that wasnt the flaw in his plan, it was the climax

when he sees mac texted “gn ily” and for a second he prays mac sent it to his number and not johnnys. but he knows mac didnt bc mac already confessed and dennis said no. so macs trying to move on. when mac texts that and for a brief second dennis debates texting mac “i love u too” from his real number. he knows mac is in his bedroom. he wonders, if he did, how long it would be before he hears footsteps making their way to his door. what would be the first thing mac says as he makes eye contact with johnny for the first time

or when he sends mac to the motel and he sits outside of what he knows for a fact to be macs room. johnny texting excuses as to why hes not there while dennis is just feet away from the door. maybe once or twice he gets his hand on the handle before pulling back. the cold metal burning his skin like holy water hitting a demon (despite nothing about this being holy). sitting in his car in front of the window begging mac to look out the window. to see him. to recognize him. to make the first move bc dennis sure as hell cant

but he never texts “i love you” from his real number and mac never looks out the window and dennis never opens the door. so hes left there knowing exactly where mac is and a pretty good idea of what hes doing but never getting to be as happy as mac. bc mac is texting a fake man hes convinced hes going to have while dennis is texting the very real man hes convinced hes never going to have

always telling himself tomorrow. tomorrow he’ll go to macs bedroom or motel room and confess. lay out his soul and affection. but he can never make tomorrow happen. then mac has to go and tell everyone about johnny. and suddenly its real. mac is in schrodingers box and unknowingly blows it open and the universes collide. text mac and irl mac are one and dennis cant handle it so he doesnt get his grand confession. he gets his exasperated “i am him” but theres people around. he could maybe get his soul out in front of one person (one specific person) but not here at the bar in front of an audience (even if that audience is only one or two people)

so it ends. johnny doesnt exist (at least physically) and now mac knows. everyone pushes it behind them as some scheme abruptly ended as usual. no one pokes or prods at it too much bc why would they. so now that johnnys gone mac isnt tethered to anyone anymore and dennis has to sit through as mac uses his own system against him. so he has to make another elaborate private tactic because being another person is the closest dennis has ever got to being true to himself and mac. dear god he couldnt get anyones help with this because again, his soul only has room for one person. if he doesnt start something else this feeling with sit and sit and fester then die. he already has enough dead things inside of him and one more might start having consequences. he wonders if this is how mac felt all those years. if macs feelings festered and died. maybe he’ll never know

#iasip #macdennis #macden #wow this got a lot angstier than i expected #sorry abt formatting this is my brain throwing out words #mightve gotten too abstract idk i think i have adhd and just wrote whatever i thought #frank vs russia #frank vs russia changed my brain chemistry #help im doing character analysis outside of class #at least i stopped before i started making hannibal and succession references #stream of consciousness

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im-yn-suckers · 4 days

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‧₊°˖bf!heeseung x blackgf!reader ‧₊°˖ warnings; kissing, hugging. cuddling. hee calls reader 'my lil chocolate drop'. hee compares her to choco. um reader asdk "is it cuz im black?'' TT erm lmk what else‧₊°˖ mia says; whats up guys!! i almost ouked today so yk!! this is dedicated to someone who is black!! im using asmut tags to reach a larger audience if that makes sense THERE IS NO SMUT THO! really big ty to @microwvdstrawb3rri3s for helping me i genuilney (?) coudnt do it w/o her :)

'hi baby' hey hee' he sneaks his arms around ur waist and kisses your neck. you squirm bc it tickles and he only pulls ypu closer/

genuinely he loves your hair, lke no joke frfr whether its curly, straightened, in braids, etc he will play w it :)

when ever ure insecure (which u shldnt be bffr) he says this "oh baby, now why are you saying this you know my faveorite dessert is chocolate pie right? and ure my favorite person, makes sense? hmm?'; no it doesnt but yk heeseung

'hello little chocolste drop' he walks into the bathroom while you do your skincare, he kisses your exposed collarbone and smirks at you. and ofc you blush

you drop a candle (while it off) and he goes 'BABY YOU GOTTA BE CAREFUL IF THAT WAS ON YOUD BE DEAD' 'why am i in trouble?' 'bc you dropped it??' 'its bc im black isnt it' "HWATTTTTTT nvm nvm its my fault" bro is scared

once agian you drop smth and instead he goes "BABY BE CAREF- yk what nvm i dropped it you little b-' (bitch) 'oh go ahead say it say it say it call me a racial slur and hurt my feelings' 'i was g call you a butch but ok drama queen' 'more like black queen;P'

anygays, he loves u and your extra melanin and your beautiful self

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sharp-edges · 1 month

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yes it was the connor post I haven’t read that intently in ages

the connor post nonny is refering too

YESSSSSSS, i cant be normal about him because no one else is able to be normal about him, the part that gets me, that im being really abnormal about at this specific second is him and his family temporarily MOVING TO SWEDEN, when he was 15 so he could train.... that's not normal!!!!! he never had a normal teenage years, we will never have normal adult years, i need to wipe the worlds memory of him and send him to college for two semesters, i need him to throw up in the bushes outside a frat, i need him to regret taking an 8am, i need him to socialize with people who don't play hockey, i need him to be normal. i need the league to teach these kids to take hits, i need them to try and acclimate the kids who don't get sent to a farm team after getting drafted, how many fucking rookies need to get hurt, and take bad hits for the league to finally realize that they aren't doing well by them. how many more players need to use the nhlpa player assistance program before they realize that taking a bunch of children and signing them to multi year contracts and with a schedule that leaves you traveling and away from your non hockey friends and family for months on end is a recipe for unhealthy coping mechanisms, mary @pwhl-mybeloved said earlier that someone sent in 15 duplicate cards to get graded of a kid who isn't eligible for the draft until 2026, the era of social media is putting even more eyes on "generational talents" THIS QUOTE FROM EMILY KAPLAN AT ESPN

Bedard tries to stay out of public when he can, and as he gave me a tour in his off-roader SUV, bumping some top-40 music, it became apparent why. When he stopped at a red light, a car pulled up with four adults who recognized Bedard instantly. The driver honked and waved enthusiastically as the three passengers frantically fiddled with their phones to take photos. Bedard, clearly experienced with this exact scenario, politely smiled back. "There's a bit of buzz, and for me, it's kind of crazy to see some of the things and people I've been compared to," Bedard said. "It's a lot different getting recognized out and about. It's something I'm getting used to. It's supercool feeling the support. But you know ... I'm still a kid." He's understating the buzz.

^^^^^ HE WAS 17!!!!!!!! THE ENTIRE ARTICLE GUTS ME

he's too young!!!! we are putting children on too high of pedestals, we make children sign contracts with an organization that doesn't care, not about their physical health, not about their mental health, we are stuck perpetually dooming hundreds of children each fucking year.

people want to be angry at cutter gauthier because he "broke up" jamie and tz but i care that a child (okay hes 20 now… and was 19 when the tarde happened, and he was 18 when drafted) who informed the flyers back in MAY OF LAST YEAR, that he didn't want to sign, WAS DRAGGED THROUGH THE MUD!!!!! because the flyers dragged their heels for almost a year and wouldn't take his "im not signing" as an answer!

the fucking amazon tv show "focusing on 10-12 players" will never show any of this shit, the league wants to grow its audience and appeal to a younger and more female audience, but young people are smart, and more people are going to notice, cutter didn't break to mainstream audiences, but this fucking amazon show is going to bring a bunch of eyes, and those eyes are going to look at connor, because there is no fucking way he isnt going to be one of the players they focus on, the league isn't that stupid, and those new eyes are going to see what i see, and i won't be the only person walking round in circles mumbling about gifted children never adjusting.

#asks #anon #connor bedard #cutter gauthier #too i guess #this started out all hahah im abnormal about connor and ended with me screaming about the nhl lack of concern for its youngest players (or #any of their players for that matter)

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animeomegas · 1 year

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Hello!! I’m so happy that the 4K event is here you totally deserved it!! Your writing is immaculate and makes me want to make my own blog :,)

I love anything you write with Kiba, your characterization of him so fun. So could I Request a story with him, where him and reader are not so secret lovers👁️ Like Kiba has made it CLEAR that that’s his alpha. Nobody else’s.

And ik this is isnt in the activity list which ik you said was fine but I’m not sure if it counts as an activity😭 but maybe kibas reaction to Reader’s parents trying to force them into accepting concubines ( either bc they don’t approve of kiba or thats just the tradition or culture in Alphas nation)

If that doesn’t count I totally understand!!

Kiba and Alpha getting fortunes told together would also be really cute!!😊😊maybe the fortune teller is appalled about how many pups they see in their future💀

CONGRATS AGAIN!!

Thank you! You're so sweet!! <33 And you should totally start your own blog, just saying 👀👀 The fortune telling thing is part of it, but I decided to go for another little plot. Enjoy~

...

KIBA + NOT SO SECRET LOVERS + A CONVERSATION WITH PARENTS

Warnings: minor n-sfw themes

"Is it Kiba?" you demanded again, fiddling with the ridiculously fancy clothes you had been forced into.

"Stop asking impertinent questions, child," you mother reprimanded, rolling her eyes. "Your fiancé will be arriving in a moment and I'm sure you have eyes that function well enough to discern his identity when the moment arrives."

"If it's not Kiba, then I will refuse to marry him," you sulked, crossing your arms.

Your father simply cuffed you over the back of the head.

You huffed, turning away from them both.

"It better be Kiba," you mumbled. They ignored you.

You were sitting in one of the drawing rooms and the plan was for some of your servants to bring your new husband and his family in to meet you.

As the door creaked open, you stood up with your parents, heart jumping in your chest. Who was it?

All the stress melted out of you when you were greeted by a grinning Kiba and his mother.

"Kiba," you breathed, grinning back at him.

Kiba launched himself forward, adeptly dodging his mother's attempt to pull him back, and pressed his lips against yours. You flailed for a moment, but the feeling of his lips on yours was a familiar one, and quickly your hands settled on his waist and tugged him every closer. The wet heat of his lips had heat pooling in your stomach, and you forgot about your audience until Kiba was suddenly dragged away from you.

"What did I tell you about staying by my side, you brat!" Tsume had Kiba by the scruff of his neck.

You didn't hear Kiba's response because your own mother gripped your arm and pulled you back as well.

"If anyone finds you knotted before your wedding night, you will not enjoy the consequences," she whispered into your ear. You noted that she didn't try to forbid you from knotting Kiba, just knotting him where someone could find you.

Your father cleared his throat.

"If everyone has come to their senses-"

"I was perfectly sensible," Kiba grumbled, his mother tugging his ear to get him to shut up.

"The final arrangements and negotiations can be made."

Everyone sat. Kiba tried to sit by your side, but his mother's grip was solid, so he sat facing you instead.

"Firstly, we must-"

"When is our wedding?" you interrupted, feeling the heat come back as Kiba winked at you.

Your mother closed her eyes for a moment like she was praying for patience.

"We will get to that, but there are some negotiations that must-"

"Negotiations?" Kiba interrupted this time. "I want at least seven pups."

Your father sputtered, choking on his tea while your mother closed her eyes again. Kiba's mother whispered something harsh in his ear.

"I'll give your fourteen," you pledged. "As many as we can manage."

"For heaven's sake!" your mother exclaimed, reaching the end of her tether. "If either one of you says another word, the wedding will be off!"

You knew better than to push your luck, but there was no rule against heated eye-fucking, so you and Kiba managed to amuse yourselves without words.

#4k follower event #kiba #kiba x reader #royal au #x reader #reader

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philyaoi · 5 months

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i really want to write a full analysis comparing dnp to that one stupid lil gay furry indie rock album with the dogs on the cover but that requires way more research than i thought... so for now here is a lyrical analysis of "Twin Fantasy (Those Boys)", the final song off the album Twin Fantasy (Face to Face) by Car Seat Headrest, and comparison to dnp wrt to their careers and lives.

youtube

the original context of this album and this chorus is that the narrator is reflecting on a tumultuous past relationship, at first viewing this romance through rose-tinted glasses (the dark, inside, fantasy) before finally being able to see the truth (the sun, outside, reality.) the pain of looking at the sun is the pain of revisiting the narrator's past. often times we use pain as an indicator that we are experiencing reality (pinching yourself to make sure you're not dreaming.)

these lines repeat throughout the song, yknow like a chorus...

the past few years of dnp's careers and lives have been very much on the reflective and introspective side. for them, the "fantasy" is the explosion of their careers, their success as creators, the audience who has stuck with them. of course all of this is true, but at the same time, the reality is that during the absolute height of their careers, they were in the closet, had repressed mental health issues, had overworked themselves, and had their boundaries frequently overstepped. and they have been reflecting on both sides of this coin.

the story and memories the narrator has retold will never disappear. the fond memories of the relationship will always be there, both figuratively and literally as they have been recorded in song form.

this is true for dnp as well. the memories that they share, both with each other and with the audience, won't go away. we will always have pinof 1. we will always have videos of them being silly and goofing off and just having fun with each other. and even when they have deleted stuff in the past, they are no longer trying to take any of it down and even reference deleted videos and old posts as they no longer have anything to hide in showing them.

dude im not even gonna analyze these lyrics i just wanted to add them here cuz like just fuckin read them what the hell is this gay shit this is so dnp (and also its the same concepts as seen above)

edit: i lied i am going to expand my thoughts on these lyrics

dnp have basically built their careers on having fun. they've taken jobs and sponsorships they didnt want necessarily, they were workaholic closet cases, but like. they always made sure to have a good time. you can especially see this in the very early videos as well as on the gaming channel, where they felt ever so slightly less pressure to put up a front. they LOVE creating stuff together, they love hanging out with each other, theres absolutely no denying this! theyre not kissing and theyre not fucking i mean who knows lmao but instead of interpretting that literally, its more like. thats not the point, that was never the point. are there shippers amongst us? yes fer sure, but that isnt what pulled us all in. what pulled us in was their connection, their dynamic, and how much fun they have on camera together!!!!!!! these two brothers lovers boys and their smooth-cocked youthful adventures!

the cover of twin fantasy is a very simple drawing of two anthropomorphic dogs in an embrace, their arms seeming to be conjoined, and the eye of one dog overlapping with the similarly drawn nose of the other dog.

dan and phil. are so symbiotic. how much of this do i have to explain... from the very start, from their first meeting. yes there are the superficial similarities (tall gay british emos who like the same media) but anyone can have those similarities. dnp knew immediately that there was a connection that they shared that was different from anyone else's. there was some sort of inescapable pull toward each other, call it fate or soul-bonding or autism, they simply could not keep away from each other even if they wanted to.

alright THIS. OK THISSSSSS.

ok ok so there are two versions of this entire album, and in the rerecording (which is what we're analyzing) some lyrics have been changed. this part is spoken word, and is completely different from the original. in the og (mirror to mirror) version, it seems the narrator is lamenting this awakening into reality, and breaking the fantasy for him is dark and twisted. in this new version, the narrator is no longer talking about himself in third person. he is Actually breaking the fantasy now, literally breaking the fourth wall, and directly addressing the person whom this album was written about. the contract is up, the names have been changed, aka, they no longer have to be tied down by this dark history. in the real world, the songwriter and this ex are still friends (or have become friends again?) and said ex even drew the art for the album that came after this rerecording. this story that the narrator had put out into the world, they no longer allow it to chain down what could happen in the future.

DAN AND PHIL. OK WAIT ACK OK so like circling back to what i was saying earlier about THEIR fantasy and reality, i mentioned how their reality was dark compared to the fantasy that they showed to us on youtube. and now they have shown us that reality. BUT AGAIN. they refuse to let that tie them down!!!! yes it took a few years of recuperation but they are creating stuff together again! AND AGAIN! the version of them that can exist outside of everything, is in their old videos. we can always go back! they will always be there for us (both dnp and the audience) to revisit. in theory i mean things get deleted but ykwim tho... the contract is up. they are no longer obligated by their management or by publishing or by radio to censor themselves or hide any aspect of themselves. the names have been changed. dan rebranded in 2017, but phil also very subtly and very slowly rebranded in his own way. the gaming channel literally came back from the dead, got a facelift, and yeah itll always be the same ole dnp banting and jesting but from the very first return video the energy is SO MUCH DIFFERENT and i PROMISE it is not just bc they are out as gay although OBV thats a huge part of it but they are just. happier! and more themselves! and its so visible in their faces and body language and tone and EVERYTHINGGGGG.

but listen, remember, these are only lyrics now. theres a version of them that exists outside of everything. and that version is in the old videos. yes they were closeted and overworked and mentally struggling, but they were still happy there too. and they never ever discount how happy those videos have made US. they know how much all of their older content means to us bc it means so much to them too. "you are as important to us as we are to you."

i'll end this with the last line, that repeats over and over before the song finally ends. this line can be interpretted so many ways imo, but i just think it generally ties together my entire thesis. thank you for reading my deranged gay rambling <3

when i come back, you'll still be here.

#mytext #myrambles #phan #i should start a tag for this thing ive been going on abt specifically.#reflections #there :) ill tag all my old posts abt this topic later cuz i do wanna revisit it #dnp

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