#is to give a genuine reaction this is a you problem lmfao??????? it was all so wild

[ablednt]

OH MY GOD in your text post abt being called problematic as a teenager, I had the same thing happen to me. Everyone complained to a moderator about stuff I did (I'd say the worst of it was constantly forgetting things on the blacklist, but I would always go back and spoil it when reminded and I mostly forgot squicks because i shared triggers with a lot of the people in there) instead of taking it directly to me and when I got removed (in the middle of the night without warning), the mod told me I had to apologize to everyone if I wanted back in. Would not tell me what I had done wrong to who specifically, I was just supposed to remember. And when I asked for their discords the mod wouldnt give them to me because I "might make them uncomfortable". How the FUCK was I supposed to apologize to them???

Anyway. On the list of things I did wrong were two "personal gripes" equating to "you talk too much" and "you manage to throw yourself off track during conversations" and I like... half the people in the gc also did that. It was full of people with ADHD. I gave up lol

NO BUT TALKING TOO MUCH WAS FOR REAL ONE OF THE BIGGEST ISSUES THEY HAD LMFAOOO I was also called annoying for infodumping about the fandom the discord server was dedicated to IN the channels meant for discussing or posting about canon. Like literally just "yes you're in the right channel we just think it's annoying when u post specifically <3"

Anyway the ableism of it all was so bad that I wrote out a google doc for myself with ideas on how to mask what I soon learned was ADHD, autism, and trauma lmao. Here's a fun excerpt

[Image ID: a cropped google document in dark mode with a black background and white text. It reads;

If you’re upset and want to vent, consider going to your vent blog, or going to a more private place! Before venting something ask yourself the following questions: will hearing your upsetedness leave others feeling burdened or guilty? Is this something you can work out on your own? Is this a topic that others can comment on without feeling like they will insult you? If the answer to any of these questions is a negative, then consider venting in another place or directing your energy to another activity! 

Is there something you want validation on? It’s okay to seek validation, but you need to be thoughtful of where, when, and with who! Try to find people who would find enjoyment in whatever it is you created, or who share similar experiences! If you still can’t think of anything, it’s okay to try and validate it yourself! You need to work on loving yourself, instead of making others feel responsible!

Instead of thinking the worst of yourself (and by extension people’s treatment or opinions of you) try and think of something positive! Instead of brooding over something you dislike about someone, try complimenting them on something you do like! If you feel uncomfortable with this, you can always send them a nice anon if you know their blog.

End ID]

Like I really thought this was the epitome of health and not toxic positivity at all and on one hand it's sad because I was a kid just literally being abused and gaslit at this point on the other hand it's so fucking funny.

#ask to tag #a lot of it was just so fucking weird too like #they were all 'if u don't talk for a while you can stay in the server unless the secret person in here disapproves of you' #'then you're out' and I was so lost in the abused kid sauce I never asked if that was a joke or there was someone in here deciding my fate #or not in secret lmfao #also one huge gripe they had was I was roleplaying a kid (our syskid but i didnt know that yet) and she was an abuse survivor bc [gestures #to me being a whole abuse survivor coping through media lmao] and like whilst theres been a lot of very valid criticsms over the unnecessary #amount of things i put her through cause i was unfortunately in the wh*mp community at the time #by this point she was literally just vibing and recovering and stuff like it was all cute found family content #but they were like 😭 i know children irl. i even have children in my family knowing child abuse exists is so hard on me emotionally #please note they made jokes about child abuse on multiple occasions and were also pr0ship like lmao what #their other problem was 'when our characters are mean to her she gets sad and it makes us feel guilty' like??? ok????? the point of roleplay #is to give a genuine reaction this is a you problem lmfao??????? it was all so wild

[deripmaver]

laurent is a good person - book 1 meta

one of the most amazing things about captive prince is how the reveals in book 3 recontextualize all of the scenes leading up to them, including about laurent himself. in book one, all we see is damen pov as he’s being abused and humiliated by this supposedly spoiled, vile ice prince. when the regent comes to damen and subtly (and not so subtly) insults laurent, calling him unfit to rule - well, why would he think anything different? laurent has insulted him, had him whipped within an inch of his life, and even attempted to (and later successfully lmfao) have him raped while drugged out of his mind. 

after book 3 we can reread most if not all of book 1 as a very traumatized boy who has finally been confronted with the man who killed his brother, leaving him alone with his abusive uncle, and who he clearly has made into a complete monster in his own mind. damen of course sees him as a complete bitch, but there’s textual/subtextual evidence that laurent is well liked, and that his behavior during book 1 was actually pretty out of character for him. i’d like to provide some examples of that now!!!!

“Laurent had stopped dead the moment he had seen Damen, his face turning white as though in reaction to a slap, or an insult. Damen’s view, half-truncated by the short chain at this neck, had been enough to see that. But Laurent’s expression had shuttered quickly.” Captive Prince, Chapter One

i couldn’t resist adding this one in hehe. laurent recognizes damen!! he’s come down, knowing his uncle has devised another truly horrendous and triggering “gift” and that he’ll lose support if he calls it our for what it truly is, only to find out that it’s fucking damianos of akielos sent to him as a sex slave. a jab at laurent’s trauma about auguste and also a jab at laurent’s frigid sexuality - which ofc is completely the regent’s fault. fuck that guy so much lmfao 

“‘It’s so rare to see you at these entertainments, Your Highness,’ said Vannes.” Captive Prince, Chapter Two.

this is right before the fight between govart and damen in the ring, of course. damen sees laurent as depraved and vile as the sexual sadism on display by the veretian court, and considers him to be a willing purveyor of it. this is wrong, of course, as said by vannes here. laurent has only shown up because he wants to humiliate damen lmfao.

“He did remember being supported by two of the guards, here, in this room, while Radel stared athis back in horror. ‘The Prince really . . . did this.’ ‘Who else?’ Damen said. Radel had stepped forward, and slapped Damen across the face; it was a hard slap, and the man wore three rings on each finger. ‘What did you do to him?’ Radel demanded.” Captive Prince, Chapter Four

this scene, to me, was the most telling lmfao. it’s right after damen is whipped. you could argue that radel is just a servant in the employ of the royal household, so is of course going to be loyal to the prince, but he seems genuinely surprised of the prince’s cruelty towards damen. not only that, but he slaps him and immediately assumes damen must have done something. which - i mean, technically he did lmao. not necessarily enough to deserve having the skin flayed from his back, but you know. if laurent was in the habit of torturing pets and slaves, why would the overseer react this way?

“The men guarding him were the Prince’s Guard, and had no affiliation with the Regent whatsoever. It surprised Damen how loyal they were to their Prince, and how diligent in his service, airing none of the grudges and complaints that he might have expected, considering Laurent’s noxious personality. Laurent’s feud with his uncle they took up wholeheartedly; there were deep schisms and rivalries between the Prince’s Guard and the Regent’s Guard, apparently.” Captive Prince, Chapter Four

laurents relationships with his guards are also some of the biggest indicators that he isn’t just a spoiled brat, but can insire a deep loyalty in his men. even if they do all want to fuck him. ah, sexual harassment. it’s also hilarious that damen immediately assumes they’re loyal to him because they want to fuck him - nice projection there, dude. we know a bit more about laurent and his guards thanks to green but for a season, but this little bit here is interesting.

“Laurent was indeed good at talking. He accepted sympathy gracefully. He put his position rationally. He stopped the flow of talk when it became dangerously critical of his uncle. He said nothing that could be taken as an open slight on the Regency. Yet no one who talked to him could have any doubt that his uncle was behaving at best misguidedly and at worst treasonously.”  Captive Prince, Chapter Five

idek what to say here. laurent my beloved <3333

“‘When someone doesn’t like you very much, it isn’t a good idea to let them know that you care about something,’ said Laurent. Damen felt himself turn ashen, as the threat sank in. ‘Would it hurt worse than a lashing for me to cut down someone you care for?’ said Laurent.” Captive Prince, Chapter Seven

this isn’t really relevant to my thesis lmfao i just love this exchange bc it gives SO MUCH information about laurent and his uncle in just three lines of dialogue. what has the regent done, who did he cut down just to hurt laurent? when and how did laurent learn that? p a i n 

“Laurent’s fussy horse began acting out again, and he leaned forward in the saddle, murmuring something as he stroked her neck in an uncharacteristically gentle gesture to quiet her.” Captive Prince, Chapter Nine. 

HORSEY NO- lmfao this scene just hurts so badly on the reread. especially later on, in book 3 i think, where laurent says something like “i provoked my uncle.” he’s really blaming himself for his uncle KILLING HIS HORSE, his horse that his murdered brother trained, one of the only living connections to auguste... all because his uncle could not let a single miniscule plan laurent had set go through without some kind of repercussion. literally all laurent did was do something to stop an innocent group of people from being abused, nothing to undermine his uncle’s rule, but because the regent is VILE he could not let laurent have even this. he’s so good with her, too. he must have known by this point and also known that there was no way to stop this. P A I N

“‘I know that you have somehow arranged this,’ said Erasmus. He was incapable of hiding what he felt, and just seemed to radiate embarrassed happiness. ‘You kept your promise. You and your master. I told you he was kind,’ Erasmus said. ‘You did,’ said Damen. He was pleased to see Erasmus happy. Whatever Erasmus believed about Laurent, Damen wasn’t going to dissuade him. ‘He’s even nicer in person. Did you know he came and talked to me?’ said Erasmus. ‘—He did?’ said Damen. It was something he couldn’t imagine. ‘He asked about . . . what happened in the gardens. Then he warned me. About last night.’ ‘He warned you,’ said Damen. ‘He said that Nicaise would make me perform before the court and it would be awful, but that if I was brave, something good might come at the end of it.’ Erasmus looked up at Damen curiously. ‘Why do you look surprised?’ ‘I don’t know. I shouldn’t be. He likes to plan things in advance,’ said Damen.” Captive Prince, Chapter 9.

this is the first in-text confirmation we have that laurent has a good heart beneath his layers and layers of trauma-induced lashing out. book one often skeeves people out because of its graphic and, honestly, yes, kind of sexualized depiction of rape, slavery, and depravity, but beneath it all you meet these two protagonists who are going to have all of their most deeply held views about each other challenged. laurent from very early on is shaken to his core when damen refuses to rape nicaise in the ring - it cracks the very foundations of the person he’d built up in his head as this horrible monster who killed his brother in cold blood. and damen keeps defying laurents expectations by being a good person through and through. on the other hand, laurent spends the first part of the book taking out years of anger on damen, but here for the first time we see him do something just because its the kind thing to do. yes, torveld is an ally against his uncle, but laurent has clearly been scheming with him for a while now, and he’s now overlooking his hatred of damen and working with him just because none of the slaves deserve whats happened to them. it’s such a sweet moment.

“One of the other men, eyeing them, approached a moment later. ‘Don’t mind Jean. He’s in a foul mood. He was the one had to stick a sword through the mare’s throat and put her down. The Prince tore strips off him for not doing it fast enough.’” Captive Prince, Chapter Nine.

HORSEY NO- pt 2. this is just another really sweet and sad detail - laurent being so upset that the horse’s death could have been more painless. it must have hurt so much to see her in pain, and to know that the only way for that pain to end was being put down as quickly as possible. i wuv him. im sad

that’s it, though there are still a few more chapters left in the book. this isn’t providing any new information, of course, the path of the three books is to show that laurent isnt the man we meet in book one, that he’s actually sweet, and earnest, and he’s been fighting his own battle practically alone against his abuser since he was fifteen years old. also, the reveal that laurent knew who damianos was from the start makes it clear imo that all of his violence in book 1 was supposed vengence, not... him being evil. he apologizes explicitly in-text, and also, all of the acts of violence he commits cause serious problems for him in terms of his future alliance which he then needs to fix. i just love how layered these books are, how there’s so much information in them that makes rereading almost more fun than reading them for the very first time!

#Captive Prince #captive prince meta #damen x laurent #Laurent of Vere #Damianos of Akielos

[firelxdykatara]

Katara x Aang :3c

are you trying to get me in trouble

-cough-

no but in all honesty, my genuine feelings about kataang boil down to three major points: 1. it's boring, and does not jive thematically with either of their character arcs, to the point of, 2. actively hampering character development on both sides, and 3. katara deserved better.

points expanded under the cut. (please, if you're a kataang shipper and you see this, just keep scrolling. i've tagged it appropriately and put the bulk under a cut and at this point that's literally all i can do lmfao.)

send me a ship and get my (brutally) honest opinion!

1. It's Boring: This is the most subjective point on the list (I mean, in fairness, it's all subjective, but I have evidence from the show and post-canonical materials to support my other points; this one is just preference), but there's just... nothing to kataang. It's cute (when it's not actively aggravating), and... that's about it. It's not even that I dislike friends-to-lovers as a shipping trope (though it's not my overall preference), because there are a lot of friends-to-lovers couples that I do ship (kanej comes to mind, also will/elizabeth from potc, karolsen from supergirl, romione and hinny from hp, among others), but one thing that I think all of those couples have that kataang doesn't is that both sides of the pairing are teens or adults when they get together, with teen/adult dynamics and issues and stories to deal with, rather than one half being a teenager and the other being literally prepubescent.

And don't get me wrong, I have no problem with age gap ships in general. And as far as atla goes, Katara, at 14, has the same age difference from Zuko (16) as Aang has from her, and it's never stopped me--because both Katara and Zuko are well into puberty when they meet and I have no problem picturing them being into one another and growing together as they enter adulthood. Aang, on the other hand, is a child. And he acts like it. Which wouldn't be a problem, if the show weren't expecting me to believe he is a) ready for a romantic relationship, and b) ready for one specifically with Katara, who is not only older and far more mature but is specifically cast as his caretaker in a very maternal role for the entire show's run.

This show asks me to believe that a teenage girl well into adolescence is going to be attracted to and develop romantic feelings for a pre-adolescent child--and it asks me to believe this while showing us otherwise that Katara's type is actually older boys with fabulous hair and angsty pasts in all of her other potential romantic dalliances--and then enter into a relationship with him, all while ignoring the elephant in the room that is the fact that she was basically acting like his mother for the entire series to that point. (Something that is heavily lampshaded earlier in the very same season.) That just stretches the bounds of credulity way too far for me, especially when there's no evidence that Katara herself would get anything out of their romantic relationship.

There's nothing there for me to sink my teeth into. No delicious development, no parallels where they help each other grow, no internal conflicts that they have to work through together, nothing. Certainly no reason for me to actually believe Katara feels (or would grow to feel) anything for him other than the platonic affection of a caretaker. I can easily believe she loves him dearly, as a friend and quasi-little-brother, but I just can't see that developing naturally into romantic love--not the way it's presented in the show.

And even if they did manage to at least make the development of Katara's feelings believable, unless they changed something fundamental about the nature of their relationship, it'd still be boring, so.

2. It Actively Hampers Their Character Development--On Both Sides: I've written before (extensively lol im so sorry) about how kataang is actively detrimental to Katara and to Aang. In short (because ye gods this post is already getting long enough), Katara is narratively harmed by being shoved into a relationship that completely ignores her stated feelings--a relationship that had been presented as a one-sided puppylove crush for the vast majority of the series--and it inhibits her growth as a character in ways that become far more obvious in the comics and lok, where the very same creative forces that lead to her beginning a relationship with Aang in the first place reduce her to 'the Avatar's girl' and very little else, all the way through to the end of LoK (where she is a Healer and the Avatar's wife and, again, very little else).

As for Aang:

As to how this relationship is detrimental to Aang (other than the comics and LoK nonsense)? Just take a look at book 2, when he’s trying to learn Earthbending from Toph. Katara constantly coddles him. Much of the time, she’s afraid to be anything other than gentle and understanding with Aang--partly because of her fear that if she pushes him too far, he’ll run away. (Which he does, several times.) But sometimes, what Aang needs to grow is a sharp kick in the slats, which Toph was more than willing to provide--and which worked. Katara was great for teaching Aang to waterbend, but he needed more than that to grow as a person. And he can’t get that while he’s in a relationship with someone who will apologize for getting upset when he was very explicitly neglecting her.

In addition, it is pointed out by Guru Pathik at the end of Book 2 that one of Aang's chakras is blocked by his attachment to Katara. Aang takes this to mean (incorrectly) that he has to stop loving her in order to become fully realized as an Avatar, but this is actually part of the problem--because the issue isn't that he is in love with Katara, it's that he's possessively attached to her. He believes himself entitled to her love in return, rather than selflessly loving someone regardless of whether or not they return that affection. (This is obvious come the EIP episode, where Aang demands to know why he and Katara aren't in a relationship already--because he kissed her without asking [or even checking to see if she'd be ok with kissing him], which he phrases as mutual even though it very much was not, and he gets angry and violates her boundaries when she says that she is confused and doesn't want to think about it right then.)

It is his attachment to Katara--the need for her to return his love, the belief that she will and it is only a matter of time before he gets what he wants--that he was supposed to let go of, not his feelings for her in general. Unfortunately, while he pays lipservice to doing this (far too late for it to be useful--if he'd stayed with the Guru for five more minutes and unlocked his chakra there, that battle would've gone very differently), he almost immediately backtracks on that development come book 3, and there isn't another single whisper of Aang maybe growing up and moving past his one-sided and possessive crush and realizing that even if Katara doesn't feel the same way, it doesn't mean she loves him less or that their friendship is less important.

What really needed to happen, for Aang to grow as a person and become fully realized as an Avatar, was for him to grow up. To realize that his feelings were not of paramount importance, and that even if he was in love with Katara, he was not entitled to her love in return. He should have been able to move past his need for her to love him back, in order to get past that stumbling block, unlock his chakras, and regain the Avatar State in time to face the Firelord. But he didn't. As a result, they had to find some other way to just give him the Avatar State (a well-placed rock) and the means to defeat Ozai without killing him (the deus ex lionturtle) and his entire character arc just fell apart in the third act rather than reaching a satisfying conclusion.

3. Katara Deserved Better: This really ties into how her romantic relationship with Aang hampered her own development, but I'm still bitter enough about it that it gets its own bullet-point. And the biggest single reason I could never ship kataang--the thing that would've turned me off even if there were substance and a halfway decent storyline for them--is the fact that Aang kisses her without her consent (for the second time) in Ember Island Players, Katara gets angry at him and storms off, and then..... she walks out onto the balcony to make out with him.

With nothing to bridge that gap.

It's bad enough that a show aimed at children had a scene where the child protagonist kissed the object of his affections without her consent when she didn't want him to (made explicit by her angry reaction)--and this is absolutely an issue when the show is aimed at children and it may well be the first experience they've had with consent issues portrayed in media--but this moment is never addressed again. Katara just decides--completely off-screen--that she does love him Really and walks out to make out with him in the epilogue. There's no conversation, no apology for violating her boundaries, no discussion of why that was wrong or any indication that Aang understands what he did and why it upset her. They don't have a single one-on-one interaction between that kiss and the epilogue, and the only other time they are on screen together, Aang yells at her and storms off.

So, even leaving the comics and lok aside, Katara deserved much better from her own romantic plotline. In fact, she deserved to have one, rather than simply being the oblivious object of Aang's affections, given a couple moments where she blushes but otherwise remains completely ignorant of his feelings (she looks shocked and upset when he kisses her prior to the invasion, and then she completely forgets that even happened because she's confused as to what Aang is even talking about during EIP until he brings it up; that's not the behavior of a fourteen-year-old girl who was kissed by someone she was developing romantic feelings for), before the epilogue where it becomes clear that she figured all of that out off-screen and had feelings for him after all.

She's a main character, not a side-character written in solely to give one of the mains a love interest. She deserved a romantic plotline of her own. (She could have had one with someone else, with very few changes made to what was actually on-screen prior to the epilogue, but that's another conversation entirely.) She deserved to have her feelings considered at all important by the person she was going to be paired with in the end, rather than having him just assume she felt the same way and then get mad at her for never giving any indication of it when he'd never asked about her feelings to begin with. She deseserved agency in her own romantic narrative, and she just didn't get that with Aang.

So yeah, at the end of the day, my biggest issue with kataang is that it involved doing Katara dirty, and she's my favorite character and she deserved so much better damnit.

#atla #katara #aang salt #kataang salt #anti kataang #atla meta #katara deserved better #salt for ts #ask meme #invincibleweasel #asked

[ichayalovesyou]

Why Does God Need A Starship? (Live Reaction):

I always thought Sybok was cool and interesting and NOW I’m sure! You know it’s times like these that I’m grateful I kinda came back into the Star Trek fandom on my own, because I don’t have to deal with Opinions of older/louder Trekkies. This one kinda has a lukewarm reputation but I’m getting the vibe that I’ll genuinely enjoy it.

Yet again Bones is serving up some LOOKS damn! Look at these elder gays! Spock has rocket boots, amazing. “Because it’s there” and then falling off the goddamn mountain is such a James Tiberius Kirk thing to do 😂 “HI BONES!” These guys omfg. OH MY GOD SO WE DO SEE CAITIANS OUTSIDE THE CARTOONS?? Hell yeah! Also pole dancing to no music, is... weird. Lmao. Also okay I’m sorry Sybok is cool! Sybok is cool and interesting and I really like him! (Not morally obviously dude is shady as all fuck, but a cool dude nontheless!) Always fascinated by Cult Leader type villains, especially when they point out valid criticisms about the society from which they came (important distinction is that the CAUSE is not vilified, but the person and their means, something M****l has largely forgotten)

Awww I may ship Hikura, but Uhura & Scotty are also cute as hell!! Awwwwwww!!!! Old married couples can be so freaking cute. Chekov & Sulu are LOST ohhhh my god this is hilarious, these two idiots. Also can we talk about how Koenig’s eyebrows are slowly gaining sentience and Takei aged like fine wine? Lol. THE HOLY TRINITY OF ELDER GAYS ARE CAMPINGGGG! I’m- oh my god they’re so cute. “Marshmelon” this is cute as hell oh my god. They’re indulging and messing with Spock at the same time I’m dead! They’re singing ohh my god this gonna give me cavities with how sweet it is!!!

This Klingon dude is frickin ROCKING the eyeliner! Bruhhhh was the frickin spotlight necessary! Leave the gays alone SHHHH they’re SLEEPING!! Lmao. Yo I’ll be real this movie starts incredibly slowly but I seriously do not mind, it’s relaxing to not have to worry about missing important details if you look away for a second, it’s nice. WAIT? Does Jim’s shirt say GOT MILK?!!? Oh no, it says go climb a rock, oh thank god [“fatty milkers” flashbacks]

Seriously McCoy is just radiating so much old southern lady/gay energy in this movie and I love it so freaking much “if you ask me (and you haven’t) this is a horrible idea” he sounds like my North Carolina living Meemaw. Wow you can see Spock low-key taking psychic damage from seeing Sybok 😲 V’tosh Ka’tur of the highest order huh? Still disturbing that his government literally cast him out, that’s a red flag 😬. What happened with Sybok is probably a lot of why Spock was pressured to be as Vulcan as he was, I’m sure Sybok was a massive scandal/shame for Sarek, and knowing him, he’d end up making that his kids’ problem not his 🙄

Oh neat!! Chekov is in the in the captain’s chair. Oh this is the song they replaced Nichols’s voice for 😤 but also GIRL THAT WAS BADASS AND THAT SONG WAS A BOP! Quick question, wow these “alien” horses are somehow even worse than the unicorn dog (also it’s a desert planet, wouldn’t it be better to have, like, alien camels or something?) This dude’s Klingon is freakin impeccable btw! He’s really got the vibe down! Jim did you forget how fuckin bananas strong Vulcans are??? Sybok went like 😡☹️ when Spock pointed that laser rifle at him 😂😂😂 again even tho I know Scotty and Uhura are married but it’s scenes like getting held hostage right there where they radiate such POWER COUPLE energy GAWD! 🤩

Stay out of this Bones we’re having a lover’s quarrel! Jim is taking fucking psychic damage from this entire conversation lol. Okayyyy whatever Sybok is doing is definitely some kind of mind control type thing, that shit is creepy af no thank youuuuuu (spores anyone?). Oh my god Spock & Jim are so married lmao, that “I’m sorry” Vulcan kiss in the brig man Aw. (Oh man Magic’s of mega-tsu got devani mixed by that comment lame!) SCOTTYYYYYY!! YAS!

Yay rocket boot glomp! Lmfao! Sybok needs to brush up on his earth history Columbus did NOT figure out the world is round 🙄 Ah Scotty being like “listen, you’re not okay rn so I’m not really down for whatever you think you wanna do right now it can wait until you’re right in the head again” and they could’ve not done that and it would’ve been creepy (especially by today’s standards) but they didn’t! And that was awesome!

Bones being skeptical and has every right to be! He’s faced down would be gods and would-be messiahs before! Also I’ve seen people judge Bones for being the first to cave but Sybok totally did that shit to him without consent! He didn’t go back on his beliefs, Sybok forced him to! BONES PROTECTION SQUAD IS HERE AND ITS ME! Oh Bones, man, poor babeyyyy (fuck Sybok!) 😭😭😭 OH MY GOD BONESSSSSS Sybok leave him alone! Goddamnit! Leave him alone!

I think Jim can see Spock’s Sybok induced vision cuz they’re ✨Bonded✨ (it didn’t seem like they could see Bones’s, other than what Bones was doing). JIM KNOWS SO MUCH BETTER! ITS HOW HE BEAT THE SPORES ITS HIS CORE! I UNDERSTAND AND LOVE HIM FOR IT!!! Spock 😍😍😍 he’s like, you’re bullshit happiness pill doesn’t work on me cuz I am whole for the first time in my life, and I love my husband, and I already learned my lesson decades ago 💚🖖🏻💚 (who knew how important the character development from This Side of Paradise AND Return To Tommorow would be??? Hell yeah!)

I love Scotty so much 🥰 hardcore badass Hufflepuff from beginning to end! Also I hope Sybok appears in SNW that could be really really interesting if they do it right! ITS GOD (derogatory) REVERE HIM! Oh here comes that legendary question!! “What dies God need with a starship?” Red flag don’t call Jim a creature! Oh shit god has laxer eyes oh no lmao! Bones snaps out of whatever Sybok did to him when “God” hurts his friends and we LOVE HIM FOR ITTTT! Awww Spock & Sybok and be saaaaad, oh shit! Into the lightning to fight a mirror of yourself like Lazarus in that one episode!

OH SHIT THE KLINGONS ARE HERE! Oh damn Spock just swore a cuss the right way, at a Klingon General no less! General dude just went “caotain tell Kirk you are sorry!” LMAO! NOT IN FRONT OF THE KLINGONS 😂😂😂😍 KISS DAMNIT!! God this whole after scene is so good, maybe the god is the friends we made along the way. “I lost a brother once” you also lost SAM dummy, I know you were just telling Spock you love him but still. SHUT UP SPOCK IS PLAYING ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT ON HIS LYRE??

Okay, seriously, I unironically love this movie, it might be my favorite out of the ones I’ve seen so far actually. TMP felt like the movies getting their sea legs, but it was slow and messy, it wasn’t as thought provoking as it wanted to be (aside from Spock’s wonderful arc in that film). WoK & TSFS are amazing for drama and angst and Spirk content, but they weren’t really asking the big questions Star Trek is wonderful for. Then The Voyage Home is just plain silly and fun and wholesome. But this, this movie had depth! The whole premise is “what is god and is there is one?” I LOVE that as someone who has a very complicated relationship with spirituality. I also already loved the TOS episodes This Side of Paradise, Return To Tomorrow, The Omega Glory and The Way To Eden, and this movie had the best of those concepts! Sybok was such a fascinating antagonist/anti-hero and I hope we get to see him explored more on screen one day, even if it’s just through Discovery/SNW flashbacks. It may have started off slow and it’s not without its flaws but this felt like the Star Trekkiest TOS Star Trek movie so far!

#star trek #star trek v: the final frontier #the final frontier #why does god need a starship #star trek tos #tos liveblog #liveblogging #Sybok

[unproduciblesmackdown]

which bmc scenes make you the softest bc for me it's gotta be most of the stagedorks scenes ESPECIALLY a guy that i'd kinda be into. mostly bc of christine cause her and michael are my favs (i love them all sm though) but also bc of jeremy because he is a close second to both of them. also vimh but vimh makes me cry a lot although nowadays i can hardly watch one scene without at the very least tearing up. anyways yeah which ones make you soft

i simply rewatched bmc and took notes for this and really got off track at points in the sense of sticking to What Makes You Softest but that’s how it goes babey

ACT ONE - in mts when jeremy is just having a whole moment being smitten in christine's presence while she's inelegantly picking herself up off the floor and smearing on lip balm and adjusting a skirt wedgie - jeremy and michael just being default that glad to meet each other in the middle of a random schoolday - michael hyping up jeremy's crush on christine and just encouraging this momentum to get jeremy to sign up for the play - ilpr.....that christine stops after like, the first two verses and goes back to her book b/c she doesn't figure someone's looking to listen to her beyond that but then she sees jeremy's still 110% paying attention and the whole rest of the song enfolds with increasing enthusiasm - jake doing that whole bit "all the pressure i feel to be the best at everything all the time" lmao classic stuff here, depressing content delivered in this humorousse way. charming moment - "leave me alone, i've had a bad day" - 2pg......when michael taps jeremy on the shoulder to get jeremy to join in on his choreo, which jeremy then does.....that michael asks if jeremy will be too cool for Video Games and jeremy just responds Emotionally Directly......we love the Favorite Person moment......that this song just ends with the two of them grooving 2gether god bless - jeremy stammering and Tics and Fidgeting when the squip remarks uponst it - jeremy delivering the Looking Pretty Sexy Brooke as awkwardly as possible and she's just like "thanks :)" - jeremy's own Theatricality coming out......hey hamlet - jeremy spinning around in place alternately addressing both brooke and the squip with "oh i'm supposed to meet my friend michael" - nice little detail wherein brooke signals for chloe to join in on her choreo - speaking of, v fond of the Moment jeremy is in on both their choreo......brooke sort of alarming jeremy with her whole attempted grande finale, straw and all, ft. the first instance of her messing with his hair so much she's just tugging his entire head around - cute that jake and rich have a sort of 2pg-esque handshake routine too - jeremy's "that's sad, what should i do" reaction re: jenna - rich's Earnest invitation to come over and play xbox... - "bonjour, jeremy" "ooh brooke!" and this whole exchange, her complimenting him, him laughing at "That Was French" and remembering to ask about pinkberry - love the whole choreo sequence/s in sync up, especially fond of his Moments with the girls, bumping hips with chloe (twice), hearing some Gossip from jenna, posing with brooke.... ;__; - the bowling alley performance art exchange before agtikbi ;____; - agtikbi......the glittery hearts choreo.....the whatever! the interlude or whatever!!! the I Guess A Part Of Me section hhhhoughhh ;o; ;o; ;o; ;o; ;o; that she pulls him into a hug and puts her head against his shoulder omggg ;_________; - brooke just trying to interact with jeremy the Right Way w/o any guidance on the bleachers and it continues to be awkward and funny....like comforting just his Leg while he converses w/his squip.....how she just ends up Physically pushing him around by the hands and head and shoulder and etc......whole situation here in upgrade.mp3 clearly less than Ideal but jeremy and brooke are nevertheless very cute individually And together - meanwhile jake also trying to genuinely Be With christine in upgrade is also charming lol, quitting archery to hang w/a girl like her.... - i always love when the Playful Shove brooke gives jeremy at "but at the mall, you looked at me" pushes him back a whole few steps....this moment of them truly Getting each other sans anyone else's interference.....tres magnifique - jeremy being That psyched to see michael for the first time (in like, less than one full day lol)....michael being That psyched just hearing that jeremy's cool scifi thing worked out after all - lgw ;_________________________; - like i'm some normal, handsome guy..... - giving us All that silence after "The Problem Has Always Been Me" - the whole bit where he launches into the "I'm Not The [series of insults]" and i've realized it's really especially a stretch to say i'm Soft for these moments in lgw but i Am vulnerable and that's its power. little 1" tall will roland on my screen here just made me shed a real tear doing That.....

ACT TWO - brooke's Howl at the end of her verse lmawooo - oughhh jeremy and brooke Greeting each other at the party too, jeremy unable to disappoint her and going for the Real Compliment, just v charming. rip - jake and jeremy's danceoff lol hell yes and then jake just having Misunderstood the costume plan between him and christine lol - the squip getting in on the dancing :) go you funky little ai - jeremy and brooke singing that last verse of Halloween v enthusiastically at each other, - again that jeremy is just genuinely glad to see michael.... - the inherent intimacy of singing mitb b/c your bff dumped you..... - AGTIKBI REPRISE..... ;______________________________; hhhhuouuuoh my god :'3 the lil detail that at the Height of things christine is Shy and turns away.....just. This Scene oh my god - soft in a vulnerable way like, rip to jenna where we're seeing chloe's Lack Of Enthusiasm in accepting a call from her :[ - the Shift at the start of the pants song :] - and the lil mitb reprise during said pants song lmao, also always having a great time w/this concept of "maybe this teen having a rough time needs some guidance from someone grown w/all that bonus maturity here" - i wish there was a way i could help everyone but i don't know how so i guess i'll just do theatre..... - jenna being Moved simply being asked for the first time ever How She Is u_u then her being like "....Okay!" lmfao jenna's great - just have to say in whatever context i'm v fond of pitiful children there at the end lmfao the bass kicks in like that and we're having a great time - the audience always having that response to "all the way to broadway" - jeremy going "you came to see me in the play? :)" like, that he's processing the significance of that in the middle of these Very Raised Stakes - i'm soft for will roland's vocal glitching mouth noises live every night!!! - jeremy like "ha! >:)" flipping his squip off after he's successfully Apologized lmfaoooo love him - but then having that real And I'm Stronger Than You Think I Am victory like :'| - that michael's been by like a ton btw during jeremy's probably somewhat concerning coma. also cherish the lil dance he does while they're celebrating mr. heere's bepantsedness - jake and jeremy sharing a Dab - and just the Popular Kids actively seeking him out to help re: christine b/c they just Want To Be Supportive.....very nice - this vimh interlude or whatever with christine and jeremy like jlsdfhh i think of this all the time - me and the voices in my head have made up our collective mind ;__; what do they say we should do ;______; and the Woohoo! ;_______________; - huoughh kiss and you KNOW especially the [jeremy spinning away in sheer enthusiasm] of 2.0 just KILLS THE MAN ;O; - jeremy not missing a beat despite the squip's interruption leeet's GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - the more than survive na na na na na na na na na na na's but they're all So, and jeremy ending With everyone but also there with Himself and it's so Good and Everything Wants What Vimh Has!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hhrough ;0; - that jason does that spin at curtain call w/his excellent squip costume... - that in virtually any given curtain call when they get into line together there's that lil ritual of george smacking will's ass lmao love languages

i mean tl;dr quite Same in that like, most likely to inspire tearing up over something or other includes agtikbi reprise and vimh which is just like, again any finale wants what it has, and the I Guess A Part Of Me bit of the non-reprise agtikbi like Oof augh this is so cute, and lgw always Gets me, and while i was rewatching speaking of being soft and move-able i was also just continually struck with delight over various moments throughout, and noticing little details for the first time thank god. just Vulnerable the whole time

#anonymous #Great Ask thank you for sending it #bmc

[littlebabycrybtch]

honestly its still so heart dropping and disgusting to continue to see aspec ppl have to put on that like. trained, overly polite, overly passive, complete Lack Of Self Respect tone that forces a sense of ‘i know i dont matter’ just so they dont get completely automatically ground into dust when they go out on a limb and ask ppl they wanna interact with; ‘hey please dont start anything but can you just let me know if you’re an aphobe or not’ and its Still met with soo much mockery and disbelief almost every time like....... bro what even is there not to understand. you’re literally being the proof of why they have to ask abt it i cannot Fathom that kind of Blindness like lmfao bitch they just dont wanna be around some1 who hates them.... thats .. normal... thats human?? thats human behaviors. its having standards for yourself. its FEELINGS like unironically rn pls tell me you’re clowning and that you do understand how fucken LOUD you all are abt normalizing aspec hate and how often we obviously run into bitches like you and have to ask this question. you know how LONG we’ve begged for basic support so you have to know that reacting to being asked if you give a shit abt somebody with that kind of mockery is disgusting and bratty and ignorant af bc bro lmao its YOUR FAULT for being a Part of the people HATING THEM....?

holy shit lol, nobody should be good with being around people who disrespect a part of them,,,, thats like a genuine personal problem if someone willingly wants to do that, so why tf would you be expecting that. bc its us? bc its us. bc its us and you feel THAT right in thinking that we’re so worthless, they we are just so Stupid for not knowing that too. its funny to you that we dont realize how little we matter. lmao its so ugly and warped like!!! god how fuckin evil can you get just calm down idiot lmao theyre asking if you respect them and you’re basically responding ‘why would it matter to you if i didnt?’ bhsejbjehg uhhhhhhjjjjjjjjj bc thats. a regular thing 2 care about. its standards like mam do you hang out with ppl who hate you. is that some normal thing to you like. avoiding the ppl who wish you werent around is sort of just . health and safety and basic emotional response and also common sense. really is. literally How dehumanizing and detached coudl you POSSIBLY be abt this to be directly asked by a marginalized identity group if you respect them or not, and actually say No, but Also be like ‘LMAO YOU REALLY ASKED ME THAT? IT DOESNT MATTER’ like. yeah it matters bc they stay existing actually, you dont have to hate them for that, and they wouldnt have to ask yall this stuff if you behaved lmfao. not to mention your reaction is literally the evidence that it apparently matters enough to You to make sure they know you dont accept them. fully, you are whats making it ‘matter’ so much bc you are the one going apeshit over a benign existence. you’re the one losing it over nothing.

like lmfafuckingo what is WRONG with your MIND dude im.... speechless like ‘dont drag me into discourse’ YOU HATING SOME1 AND THEM HATING YOU BACK IS NOT ‘’’’’’TUMBLR DISCOURSE’’’’’..............? WHAT R U DISPLAYING RN DID U NOT SPEND ENOUGH TIME IN THE GUIDANCE COUNSELORS OFFICE GROWIN UP WITH THIS ATTITUDE......... ITS THE NATURAL ORDER OF SOCIAL CONSEQUENCE......... ITS SOME BASIC ‘YOU STARTED IT’ TEE MOTHERFUCKIGN EM LOGIC...? YOU HATE THEM! FOR AUTONOMY! FOR HAVING AN IDENTITY AND ENOUGH SELF RESPECT TO STICK BY IT! THEY HATE YOU BACK I THINK THEYRE ALLOWED TO ASODLKFL;SDF AAAA DUUUDE lmaoooo and like good lord, passively existing around ppl who hate you and not challenging them isnt ‘avoiding discourse’. thats. so unhealthy sdjkf what kind of underdeveloped politics.... its toxic and absolutely batshit to genuinely ask that of Anyone. like bro stop Actually expecting ppl to hate themselves for ur comfort thats.... so weird i.... are you okay hhh nah you just need to step up and try to be a regular ass person actually and have sympathetic reasoning skills. being ace is fiiiine its nbd i dont need to to change for you, im allowed to be this, and i get to ask if you’re ok with that so i dont end up in a gross ass environment.

ace =/= discourse. you dont get a say in everything my dude. we’re not here for you to analyze, we dont give you permission and we dont need Your permission to exist, we’re not asking that of you when we send those msgs we’re tryna figure out if ur gonna be a bitch or not basically lol just seeing if we’re gonna be accepted by you or if we’re wasting our time like alksd;al its so traumatizing and unnecessary and MINDBOGGLING that u think its not fucked up ?? to feel like we are supposed to accept your hate of us as our truth?? you believe we’re that awful that its Funny when we dont Realize it or smth thats just so....... what would even make you respect us. literally absolutely nothing besides not existing in front of you. so. thats hate. thats irrational unwavering hate. beyond the fact that any group always has the right to ask you if YOU hate THEM, you cant sit there and mock the mere idea of caring when you are literally giving reason for it by trying your BEST to upset them and make them feel like they deserve to feel like shit for what they are afterwards. dfgjdfkgjdlfkgfd man the hypocrisy and like complete lack of self awareness in reg culture is like novacaine for my brain its so jarring sometimes. im allowed to have a problem with you having a problem with me bc i cant fix Being smth, you can fix how you feel abt it. balls in your court ill stay waiting. im not gonna hate myself bc you’re not right xoxo get a vaccine for w/e makes you this evil and selfish pls

[for-ests]

Hey, not sure if you do smut but I think this request can work without a lot if you’d prefer😁 reader’s an art student and needs to sculpt a full body nude sculpture and Tom offers but gets a bit cheeky

thanks for the request dear! this was fun to write :-) i literally know nothing about art so if I get something wrong just ignore! i hope you enjoy!! i went a diff +route but I still think it fits! [ mlist ] 

Word count: 3, 273

Warnings: slight nsfw,, nudity 

Pairing: Tom Holland x art student reader!

“The issue is… I have no idea who to ask.” You sighed deeply, embarrassment washing over you as you talked to your best friends about your upcoming project. 

Everyone knew you were a talented sculptor. That wasn’t the issue. The issue was that your professional sculpting internship at (your school) was currently learning about Ancient Greece. One of the requirements to pass the semester was to recreate a modern sculpture of someone you knew, and to make it as realistic as possible. Nakedness and all, which was a huge distinction of Greek statues.

There was a big problem though. You were incredibly shy, and you didn’t know who to ask to model for you.

Nudging you with a laugh, your friend flashed you a mischievous smile. “You know a lot of cute guys, why don’t you ask one of them?”

“Cute guys?” You scrunched your nose. “I know like three guys and I would cry if I had to see them naked.”

She sighed. “Fair. Does it have to be a guy?”

*-You nodded regretfully. “It has to be the opposite sex. It’s annoying but I u

erstand why. It’s important to be familiar with both sexes.”

Your best friend air quoted ‘familiar’ with a ridiculous smirk.

“Shut up.” You huffed, trying not to laugh at how dramatic she had become.

“I think I know a guy, he’s an aspiring actor and model.” Your best friend added casually.

Groaning, you shot her a glare. “Why didn’t you say that right away?”

She shrugged. “I like listening to you talk about your art.”

Her compliment almost worked, but you already knew that was partly the reason she was teasing you so hard. The other reason was because she had been trying to set you up with multiple friends for months. According to her, you had been single for far too long.

Her offer made you ponder deeper about your situation. You were slightly awkward when it came to getting to know someone, but you couldn’t imagine asking someone to strip right away so you could sculpt every curve your eyes grazed over. Whoever it ended up being had to be incredibly confident. Shallow yes, but that’s why you were hoping to find someone insanely attractive. Attractive people were usually confident, and responsibly so. “Maybe a stranger would be worse than someone I know.”

Snorting through her nose, your best friend stared at you like you were crazy. “Definitely not. If it’s awkward you never have to see him again. And if it’s not, well you can get cozy with a cutie.”

Taking a deep breath, you rolled your eyes. “I hate you sometimes.” You mumbled under your breath. You knew she was right, but you would never inflate her already enormous ego like that.

“You love me.” She sang sweetly.

“I do, now give him my number and tell him it’s of the utmost importance.”

❀∙∘✿∘∙❀

Days later, that conversation was on your mind as you nervously organized your sculpting tools. Trying to relieve some tension, you slapped a pound of clay against the table, and it echoed throughout the workshop.

Reality was the fact that this so called model boy was on his way to your studio. His name was Tom, and from the pictures you saw–he was incredibly handsome.

You couldn’t believe you had agreed to this, but alas, you needed this experience to pass your class. You just hoped and prayed that Tom was a lot more outgoing than you, and could keep the conversation flowing as you stared intently as his erect… penis.

Your cheeks flared up at the thought. How the hell were you going to do this?

Y/N: help (Y/B/F/N) I cant do this!!! im freaking out

Y/B/F: is he even there yet? lmfao

Y/N: noooooo :((

Y/B/F: if it makes you feel any better, he’s excited and thinks ur pretty

Y/N: why didn’t you tell me that before??!

Y/B/F: do u feel better now tho?

Y/N: no

Y/B/F: ik ur smiling ;) u aint slick

Giggling like a schoolgirl to relieve some of your anxiety, you set your cell phone on the table. Truthfully, your best friend had made you feel better. If anything bad happened, it would surely be a wonderful story to tell everyone in the future.

Your eyes naturally glanced across the room to the clock on the wall. 7:00pm. Tom would be here any minute as scheduled.

You took a deep breath and studied your surroundings. All your tools were in place, and the entire studio was tidied up as if you hadn’t worked the space in weeks. Next, you walked to the wall and glanced at your reflection in the mirror.

With your hair in a bun and your shabby working clothes, you looked suitable at best. You did have a little bit of makeup on to help yourself feel more confident. If you felt good, you could make your client feel good in return.

At least it looked like you didn’t try too hard. You didn’t want this man to get the wrong idea.

Then, snapping you out of your trance, there was a knock on the door.

You straightened out your shirt one last time, and tucked your baby hairs back behind your ears. Scoffing immediately after, you shook your head. Why were you trying to look cute? Who cares!

You rushed to grab the front door, afraid that you were making him wait too long. You flung it open, eyes locking with his right away.

You froze.

He was even more dashing in person.

“Judging by your cute outfit, I think I’m at the right place. Y/N right?”

And a British accent?

“Y-yes!” You flashed a smile to mask your obvious hesitation. You could easily play it off by opening the door and keeping your gaze averted. You were the master of smoothness.

“Thank you for coming, it’s about time I got this project done…” You tittered, locking the door behind him for privacy purposes. “You can set your things on the couch over there.” You pointed, eyes meeting his again when he glanced to the couch and then back to you.

“Awesome.” He nodded, holding your gaze for a moment longer than necessary.

“Do you want anything to eat or drink?” You offered, nodding your head back to the small kitchen in the back of the studio. You wished the studio apartment was yours alone, but you shared it with multiple other college students in your program.

“Water… or beer if you have any?”

You threw your head back in laughter, causing Tom to smile at your genuine reaction.

“Yeah, I can get you one.”

“In the meantime, should I just strip?” He smirked, not trying to be sly with his flirtations. Though your cheeks were dusting with pink, you were able to match his energy. Your best friend definitely set you up with someone she knew you’d like.

“Do whatever you want, love.” You mimicked his British accent. “You’re the guest after all.”

Walking past him, you gave him one last look when he was fully-clothed. Tom was certainly the player type, practically the perfect embodiment of the muse you had in mind. This wouldn’t be awkward for you, and it would be even better for him. Men like him thrived off of cheeky discomfort in their female counterparts.

Yet, truthfully, you were enjoying it as well. It felt nice to be complimented so soon into an introduction.

As you cracked open a can of beer for Tom and yourself, you could hear him shuffling around with his items. The sound of his buckle falling against the floor made you suddenly nervous to turn around.

Inhaling sharply, and gulping down a few more sips of beer, you finally gained the courage to walk back to the studio setup, where Tom had already wandered over to, completely naked.

“You seem to be in your element.” You noted, trying to keep your eyes leveled with his. Now that you were thinking about it, remaining calm and professional was excruciating in front of such an attractive man. And it certainly wasn’t helping that he was enjoying your embarrassment.

And least this was exciting.

Thanking you, Tom took the beer and pressed his lips against the cold aluminum. “I would definitely feel a lot more comfortable if you were naked too, darling.”

“Hey now,” You nose scrunched in a form of mock distaste. The man caught on immediately, holding your gaze with a sort of amusement that was masking desire. “I might think about it if you sit nice and pretty for me for more than five minutes so I can sketch you.”

“Your wish is my command.”

Shaking your head in disbelief, you walked over to your crafting desk. You decided you were going to start with the hardest part, the part which your grade depended heavily on- from the waist down.

But first, you quickly sketched Tom posing in multiple poses until you were satisfied with one. You had him mimic a sculpture you couldn’t recall, where one hand was pointed forward and the other was rested casually on his hip.

“Can I see what one you want to do?” He asked curiously from the stand you had him propped up on for a better view.

“Sure.” You flashed him your finished sketch. The lines darted all over the page, making it hard for him to picture what was going on in your head. The picture you had drawn would not make sense to anyone else but the artist. But apparently you were talented, so he would trust the process.

You were also trusting the process. The situation you were in could only be awkward if you allowed it to be. And so far it was moving along smoothly. You had your favorite music playing softly in the background to fill the silence, and Tom seemed to be relaxed and unbothered by how quietly you worked.

“That’s cool.” Tom whispered, his eyes narrowing in confusion.

Giggling from his sudden proximity, you tried to tease him. “It’s fine to not understand it.”

“I definitely don’t know what’s going on but it’s still interesting.” He admitted.

You set the paper back down on the table, and decided to attempt and sculpt the base. Moving past a still naked Tom, you tried to immerse yourself in your work, or at least make it seem like you were focused. “This takes hours you know, weeks and months- it won’t make sense for a long time.”

“Perfect.” He grinned. “I’ll get plenty of time to know you better.”

Laughing through your nose, you kept your attention on the clay you had dropped on the floor. “You can put your clothes back on.”

“Oh!” He chuckled. “Yeah.”

As you carefully trimmed the base clay with a heavy frame, you lifted your head to find Tom slipping a robe back on. He definitely came prepared. Had he done this before?

“Come here.” You gestured. “I need you to set your feet down on the clay.”

“I didn’t think this would get dirty so fast.”

“Shut up.” You huffed, grabbing his foot and pressing it down hard until the clay took shape to the size.

“Cold.” Tom commented in discomfort.

“I know.” You released your grip on his calf, looking up at him with a sheepish smile. “All part of the process, but good news for you- you’re done for the night.”

“Really?” Tom raised his eyebrows. “That’s it?”

You nodded, standing back up to normal height. “I’m experienced enough to sculpt the feet and legs tonight.”

“When should I come back?” He sounded a tad too eager, but it caused your smile to reappear.

“Tomorrow night if you’re available.”

“And maybe next time you can bring your own alcohol?” You gestured to the multiple beer cans poking out of the recycling bin.

The man flashed you a smile. “Sounds like a date.”

“It’s definitely not.”

Despite your rejection to his amusing advances, Tom’s expressions and mannerisms remained hopeful. Was it possible he was truly enjoying himself?

“I’ll leave my robe here. I’ll see you tomorrow at the same time?”

“Same time.” You confirmed, nodding him off. It was about time you started to really focus. Attractive man or not, you always got the most and best work done alone.

Because after the first night, the dynamics between you and Tom changed. He became incredibly invested in your process, asking you questions left and right, asking if there was any way he could help, and practically just lounging next to you hours after he would have been free to go.

“What do your sculptures usually look like?”

“Since this isn’t my own studio, I don’t have any of my pieces here. But I can show you a picture when I get my hands wiped off.”

“What do you build your sculptures with? It’s hard to imagine that a replica of me can come out of that much clay.”

“My sculptures are built with water-based clay and are fired in a gas kiln to cone 4, about 2150 degrees Fahrenheit… “ You nodded towards the back wall that had an installed kiln for you and everyone to share. “Trust me, there will be a lot more clay. Hundreds of pounds worth.”

“Can I help?”

“No.”

There was no lying that you enjoyed his presence. Whether he was talking your ear off or napping to the peaceful beat of your jazz music, there was never a dull moment when Tom was in your studio.

Weeks passed, and so did the process. Your sculpture of Tom had progressed to week three, and that’s when you started to grow nervous. When you finished, which you were almost done, would you ever see him again?

You had barreled through the awkwardness of replicating his genitals and chiseling his six pack perfectly into the hardening clay- but you still felt like something was missing. You knew even when you finished chiseling away his jaw line and chocolate brown eyes, there would still be something missing. Him. His presence.

Maybe it would have been better if you partnered up with a man that had zero personality.

Since it was just you and Tom for hours on end, your conversations gradually grew deeper, they stretched into new lengths, so much so that you eventually felt like you had known him for years.

When Tom claimed he wasn’t looking for a relationship, you felt your heart fall. That’s when you realized you were developing stronger feelings for your model. You hardly had time to think about trivial things like that, but you couldn’t deny your disappointment.

And you were sure he saw the brief tears glossing over your eyes when you turned away. Yet, he didn’t make light of it.

That’s when you knew it was useless.

It seemed useless until the sixth week, when you finally finished the head. You were too afraid to attach it. Tom had spent the last couple hours with you in the studio. His legs kicked back and occasional whistles streaming from his lips. He had practically memorized your playlist to the extent you had.

“Tom.” You called. “Your face is done.”

He cheered excitedly, pushing himself off the sofa and racing towards you. Tom had learned to give you your space while you worked, but in moments where you summoned him, he barely stood inches from you. The man would constantly touch you in ways you couldn’t deny sent shivers down your spine.

Like he did as he rounded the tabletop, planting himself by your side and placing his hand on the low of your back. As if it was natural.

“Wow,” He breathed. “Y/N,” Your name upon his lips sounded as blissful as the music. “It’s.. it’s wonderful. It looks just like me... wow that’s scary.”

“I’m happy you like it.” You bit your lip, wishing you felt more satisfied with your project. You wanted to impress him, but you didn’t want him to go.

“All I have to do is attach the head, and fire it up in the furnace one more time. Then it should be good to go.”

You moved to do so, wanting to remove yourself from his grip. It hurt your heart to know the bond you had formed with him would come to an end. Why did you even let yourself get to this point? Was it because he was good at flirting?

“Wait-” His sentence faltered when you whipped around to face him- looking somewhat hopeful.

“What?”

Tom paused, his throat tightening with the words he never thought he would admit. But he couldn’t leave tonight with at least trying. He needed to know how you felt. Because he could either leave with you in his arms, or he could leave never having to see you again.

He had been thinking of confessing to you for days now, but now that the time came, his mind was blank. “You really are beautiful, you know that right?”

“Why do you feel the need to flatter me?” You blurted, still unable to decipher the truth behind his words. You didn’t know how to accept such a compliment. Tom had claimed you were beautiful before, but this time it felt different.

His eyes spoke volumes. The beauty his eyes held was something you would never be able to replicate in a statue. It was a sight you found yourself never growing sick of.

Averting your eyes, you tried to move again. Yet this time, Tom gripped onto both of your arms.

“Look at me.”

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

“I won’t let you play me.”

“I was never playing you, darling.” The tenderheartedness intertwined with his words caused you to slowly turn your head back. Your lip quivered, and suddenly you felt like a schoolgirl all over again. You felt childish and unprepared for the intensity of your emotions.

“I don’t want to leave tonight without knowing if you feel the same.”

You blinked, hand reaching out to grip onto his. “And that is?” 

“I don’t know if it’s love, but it could be.” 

“That’s all I needed to hear.” You said, incredibly softly. 

Tom released your arms. And before either of you could process what to do next, your lips interlocked. 

You gripped onto him tightly, balling his white t shirt into a fist to keep him from leaving your side again. 

“Tom-” You breathed. 

The kiss you shared was laced with a fervent need, one that you had never experienced before, and one that you craved again and again. 

After the passion you felt, the skin prickling desire, there would be no turning back. 

“Fuck, you’re everything”’ He mumbled against your lips. 

You pulled back slightly to gaze at his expression. He had looked so afraid before, but now he was smiling from ear to ear. Much like he did the day he arrived with a teasing attitude, ready to get under your skin and provide entertainment. 

“How long have you felt like this?” 

“Since the first day.” He kissed you again, his hands cupping your cheeks. 

You whimpered against his muscular frame, trying to ignore the fluttering in your core, fluttering that begged and craved for more. 

“How did you wait so long?” 

“I wanted you to finish.” 

You chuckled, cheesing at his straightforward, simple reply. 

You were positive from that moment moving on, that Tom was not what you had thought at first glance. This entire time he had put you and your project first, letting his own desires sit and warm on the back-burner. That was something you would hold close to your heart, something you would cherish. 

He cared for you in the same way you cared for him. 

“Stay with me tonight, Tom.” 

“I would love nothing more.” 

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfiction #peter parker x reader

[chil2de]

Hey don’t apologise for clearing your inbox. You did it for your own mental wellbeing and you can’t be apologising for taking care of yourself. I’m happy for you for finally doing it, it must’ve been daunting to try to get through so many asks. This must feel so refreshing and I love that for you. Take care of yourself (that’s a threat, if you don’t I will force you to) - 🥰

aaaaaa anonnnnie please you’re so sweet TwT iknowiknow but that’s just being an infj for you, you know? i’ll bump into a chair and apologise to an object that isn’t sentient in any way shape or form, i’m sure it doesn’t care that i just bumped into it

thank you for the supportttt thankyouthank you it seriously means a lot <3 more than you’ll ever know tbh hdhbfhshdhf it feels really refreshing now, really strange in all honestly but i like it (: feels like i just cleaned my room after a while lmao

o i’ll also reply to your previous ask below!!!

im so!!! excited for when u do read it! i can’t wait to see your reactions towards certain scenes KDNGJFBFHS

hunny if i saw toji and/or naoya in the street i’m not sure what i would do???? i might faint LMFAO naoya would probably spit on me i won’t lie i don’t know how i feel about that😳 maybe if i manifest internally by screaming at them to approach me they will cause lord knows i’m not going up to them, mfs look so damn intimidating... toji with his 6 foot something self and naoya with the cocky smirk, yeah no thanks

ariana always has really nice vocals, but i have to admit that i probably don’t enjoy all of her new songs preferred to the older ones. it’s just preference but i can’t vibe with them as much

as for wicked games aaaaaa i’m glad you liked it! the weeknd is one of my favourite artists ahah and i always thought it would suit toji. but yeah... his backstory isn’t pretty. at all. i think compared to the grand scale of things and all of the character’s backstories you’ve heard so far in the anime, his is probably one of the most depressing by a landslide. oh god, and yuuta? absolutely tragic... they might even be on par, though perhaps that’s me acting on a bias towards two of my favourites

i have an inkling that when the movie gets released yuuta will be extremely popular :/ i mean, like, i don’t care? don’t mean to go on a tangent but i dislike when ig lesser known characters only gain popularity by conventional means, not because people actually enjoy them or their character. they’ll see him animated and be all “wow! this guy is really cool!” then all the ogs are just sat there like “yes, honey, we told you so” (obviously this excludes anime only fans he was briefly mentioned in the first few episodes— how megumi states that he’s the only other second year he can openly respect, and how he won the kyoto school event by far etc etc, later that one scene of him in the second opening)

trust me u will love baby boy yuuta <3 i don’t share, if ever!! but hell i’ll make an exception for you :)

but in all honesty sometimes i wish i just stuck writing for one fandom because no matter how hard i try there will always be a time where i favour one fandom over the other, e.g i was writing gintama for the longest time, and that’s how my blog started growing, but then i got into haikyuu again and i started writing for them. therefore now because i’m into jjk it’s mainly what i write for and i always feel so terrible for the other fandoms fhsbfhghs

but i don’t hold any regret towards it, i’m glad that i switched to multifandom. i wouldn’t be happy writing for gintama forever, i’d feel so trapped and suffocated in terms of the free reign and variety so it’s all good (: besides i think it’s good to take breaks and to write for characters with vastly different personalities, i always find that my writing becomes a little bit more sharper and accurate when i’m trying to clean up and polish someone else’s dialogue or antics. needless to say, no shade to people who do write for only one fandom, because that takes major dedication so that’s a kudos!

anyways, didn’t mean to ramble on babe LMAO i do have a horde of google docs😭😭 i debated screen recording but there’s so many that after a while of scrolling it has to wait for the next batch to load, so you’ll just have to take my word for it (genuinely wish i could see somewhere that tells me how many overall docs i have, i’m pretty interested to see considering i have around ~500 posts, then again, not all of them are fics)

hfbshghd i hate how this was all about me please— ur giving a sister out here heart problems, i beg u pls tell me something interesting

OH OH OK i got a question, how about, who was your first fictional crush? can be anime or from a book series, etc

and is there any favourite anime characters you have from other fandoms?

(ily thank you once again I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD WHEN U SAID USING UP UNLIMITED MINUTES— the rest of the ask got cut off imsosorry we’ll just improvise from here on out, bUT hey dude let’s go to shibuya together!!! i’m so sure that they put a life size statue of gojo there everyone keeps talking about it LMFAO i’ll be whizzing around w my phone taking some very cool pictures :) then we can go grab some food or a few drinks, also ill stock u up on merch ok ily take care)

#dude anon have you seen the jjk x uniqlo drop? #i’m waiting for the restock to buy a few shirts #they sold out in 2 days after the first wave #anyways fun fact yuuta is also infj

[anxiety-trademark]

The week in review:

Raw 09/21 NXT 09/23 NXT UK 09/24 Smackdown 09/25 Clash of Champions 09/27 + Main Event 09/24

Raw:

Billie’s not wrong. None of these people are wrong. That title has fallen so fucking far since Becky held it, Jesus.

Interesting to see Billie Kay be somewhat (?) supportive of Peyton. Manager?

I implore women to stop using red eyeliner unless you’re trying to look possessed.

Oh at least Mickie’s gonna have her last match with her snazzy pants on.

God that theme music is so outdated.

If there was one person on the roster that could convince me they wrestled in the Diva’s era, it’d be Mickie James.

Beautiful Octopus, dare I say best in the division. Look at those crossed legs. Just beautiful, Zelina.

Man it was cool watching Zelina reverse the powerbomb attempt into a rollup, but Mickie couldn’t be bothered to get her shoulders down for a 2 count before the reversal. Shame.

Zelina needs an increase to her speed to pull off the style she’s going for, but it’s a fun style.

oof I think Mickie actually caught Zelina’s forehead with that high kick.

Seated Senton off the top rope is garbage and I hate it.

Lmfao Zelina won with a backstabber. She’s literally Sasha-lite. Okay.

Word was Bianca was the star of the pc combine, right? So if you wanna showcase her strength, do it against someone I fucking know lmao. Who was this bro? Of course she’s stronger than a nobody in the pc. Friggin Alexa Bliss can effortlessly give piggy back rides to Sheamus. That’s impressive, because I know how strong and big he is. This could’ve been done better is all I’m saying. Maybe do a sitdown interview with her pc peeps hyping her up, or show footage of her blowing everyone in the combine out the park. Idk.

Ruby stop hyping up Nia and Shayna individually, individually they suck lol lesbireal.

So did Ruby just give Liv her shirt? …You know what, it works, I’m not gonna dig into this.

I feel like all women use the same starting moves against Nia and it’s a little tired ngl. They do this headscissors into a standing crucifix hold, and then slide down to try and roll her up. Then she picks them up and headbutts them. Come on peeps.

Mk just throw Lana through another table, she’s as useless in the ring (kf wise) as Liv is on commentary (non-kf wise)

Let me rewind, how did Nattie get taken out this time? A punch again. COOL. Nattie confirmed worst tag partner in the history of the division.

Lmfao rip Lana. Bye.

Wow we just said fuck entrances huh? Ugh God. Imagine Becky not getting an entrance as a damn champion.

So Peyton forgoes jumping for the German suplex, which could’ve resulted in her landing on Asuka’s head, and her reaction is to laugh. Consummate professional. Becky Lynch’s optic cranial nerve injury (caused by a failed German suplex) called, it can’t seem to find the humor.

Idk what that double underhooked move was by Peyton, but it was nice.

What bothers me about Peyton’s spinning heel kick, is as high as she gets it, she only hits people with her calf. Awkward to see.

That attempted transition into the Asuka Lock was... something.

Highlight: Lana going through the table

---

NXT:

Did Tegan say “why me” to Candice fucking her knee up with a metal pipe? Somebody get this girl some tissues.

Haha watching Tegan writhe in pain is funny. Candice gets points. And I do not like giving Candice points.

Really appreciate Rhea’s theme after hearing so much generic garbage lately. She’s so done with nxt as a performer, she has passed literally all of them by.

Not to be that person, but seeing so many people in the ring together bothers me. If one person was sick, literally all of them are sick now. It’s just kinda yikes.

Did they forego having a crowd? If so, wise. There’s enough ppl in the ring and at ringside.

Rhea fucking yeeted that girl into the barrier lmaooo.

“...Marina Shafir who’s done some great things on Raw Underground recently,” lmao sure.

The absolute half-assed attempt by that girl to pull herself up before Rhea booted her down to the floor was questionable.

So adding all these random peeps from the pc to this battle royal was done solely to have Raquel and Rhea flex for their feud in 4 months, huh.

Kacy does cool shit, wbk lmao. Gets kicked out, lands on her back, rolls into a handstand, rotates, pulls herself up into the ring using her feet on the ropes; gets kicked out, lands on the side of the guardrail, pulls herself up, uses the plexiglass to help balance herself, jumps onto the stairs; gets kicked out, lands on the side of the guardrail, stands on Kayden’s shoulders and gets chauffeured back to the ring. Brilliant. Would be overkill in a Royal Rumble, but it works here.

R&R eliminate each other/themselves together. Fitting. Dakota “help me I’m useless on my own” Kai is shook.

Why is Indi in the top 5? Or top 7? How is this girl so damn prestigious??

Kacy really just slung herself around the ringpost. I’m becoming a fan of her antics/performances in multiwomen matches.

I see Shotzi’s character is, “I come so close yet cannot manage to touch the gold.” I feel for her... cuz I can’t stand Candice.

Boooo

I love how Io carries herself. She’s a shining example of not allowing her heritage to hold her back or make her feel unimportant. She responds in Japanese, and without missing a beat, translates in perfectly spoken and quick English. Never dances, never smiles, never looks like a chump. Serious and answers the damn question. She gets points.

Highlight: Kacy shenanigans

---

NXT UK:

Lol I love KLR so much. Just ducks out of the ring the first time she’s bested.

“KLR is well versed in mental manipulation,” that she is. She’s honestly a top competitor in that sense; equal to the likes of Sasha and Charlotte when it comes to psychology.

Piper’s got power. Ragdolling KLR here.

That’s right, performing with Charlotte Flair at wm is an accolade one can only hope to achieve (I’m annoying I know) no but seriously, KLR vs Becky Lynch? Take my money.

Nice Superkick, nice Tornado ddt.

Dear ref, stop yelling at her and restart the count. Dweeb.

Lmao self inflicted wreckage of her knee. 

This ref is a walking headache. We’re now getting into the autumn of overbooked women’s matches. And UK’s first title match back. Yikes.

That senton was awkward and looked painful af for KLR’s neck. If you’re gonna risk that move while selling a leg injury, make sure you have more space to correct your landing.

I almost wish that turnbuckle came undone naturally because KLR is already such a good seller, but I’m gonna assume this is a worked move since it’s been left exposed.

Yeah see there are issues with that spot. Positives: KLR didn’t purposefully undo the turnbuckle, so it’s not on her to give another title match; the spot has potential, as I’m guessing that would be genuinely painful. Negatives: Piper is too big of a woman to hit the lower turnbuckle doing the cannonball, so she ended up hitting the middle... which was padded. Good ending on paper if you don’t do the equations, but poor execution. Not Piper nor KLR’s fault though.

Slow pacing and I hate overbooked garbage, but this obviously isn’t the only match they’re having so *shrug*

Highlight: Clean tornado ddt, and I do love KLR’s selling

---

Smackdown:

Lol Bayley has her chair. She automatically gets a point every time I see it.

Top of the ramp this time? Okay, sure.

Stop cutting to the fancams, production. I don’t care about their reactions.

A fine enough promo to move along both of her angles, but production sucks. Wbk though.

“...one of the most complex personalities,” which personality of Alexa’s are we referring to, though?

Their timing on her pyro was off and now I’m sad. The pops during the breakdown leading into the fountains are fucking amazing and honestly cannot be topped by any of the other women.

When did Alexa stop wearing her gloves to the ring? Probably when she turned face. Shame.

She just called Lacey bitter, southern tea, and you know what? What a fucking drag. Imagine bitter southern tea. As someone who was raised in the south, that is a disgrace to southern tea. Sweet sun tea or pass.

Look at Alexa: selling Lacey’s strength, full of agile speed, and yet here’s Lacey not even bothering to put her shoulders down for her pin attempt. SAD.

A problem I consistently have with SD in particular is how they set up commercial breaks. They always do something dramatic, cut to commercial, come back and shit’s always completely different. How you gonna cut from Alexa leading and hearing the Fiend’s laugh, to return to Lacey in charge ???

Dear Cole, why are you calling her Alexis lol. Like I know that’s her real name but, hello??

oof Alexa’s midsection is beet red.

Lacey has not been putting on a “clinic” stop tossing that term around, Cole. Good bump by Alexa though.

Love how Lacey doesn’t mind landing flat when her moonsault misses. Respect. Her and Charlotte both eat that so perfectly.

LOVE how the monitors of people turned into Fiend’s face. POINTS.

It’s like she’s reverted back to her heel persona. This is literally 2016 Bliss, right? Right??

Roman is a large, strong, intimidating guy... but holy shit the visual of 5′1 Alexa staring daggers into the back of his head is intense af. I almost complained that he cut off her exit, but well done with the continuity.

Highlight: I’m really digging the Alexa/Fiend story

---

Clash of Champions:

Loving the red roots, hate the eyeshadow.

See, if Asuka wants to fuck around in the ring, you won’t hear me complain. I just wish she took her non-wrestling segments more seriously.

The patience Asuka gave Zelina to set up the arm kick was dumb.

“A hard arm bar by Asuka,” he says, even though her legs were completely bent. Easy on the credit given plz.

Zelina telegraphs too much. None of the bumps she takes ever catch me by surprise.

In the spirit of being fair, put your fucking shoulders down and let her attempt a pinfall, Asuka.

Haha Sasha-lite did meteora in the corner.

Nice roll into a kick, half point for Zelina.

No you don’t get to sell frustration or disbelief yet, that’s not buyable.

I don’t know wtf Zelina was going for with that counter before the Asuka Lock, but honestly idc. Could’ve been a kickoff match indeed. State of Becky’s title btw.

Every week it’s the same shit with Asuka. She gets on the mic, speaks Japanese, barely accomplishes anything, then gets interrupted/slapped/attacked... with dancing and smiling inbetween. I really wish she was more like Io.

Nikki isn’t “medically cleared to compete”, and the tag team titles aren’t being defended. My memory is fuzzy but wasn’t there some covid concerns going around back then? Was that just baseless speculation?

Love that Bayley turned this into an opportunity to be a bigger douche than she already was lol.

IS SHE DOING A VICTORY LAP LMAO

I want to hate this from a smarky “give other women a chance” perspective, but Bayley is an ass and this is great for Asuka to build credit as a face, and after being made to look foolish yet again. Lesgo.

Lol sounded like Bayley said, “you think you can cuck me?” I’m sure she didn’t. I’m choosing to believe she did though.

I never know exactly who to blame when Asuka’s Codebreaker looks ugly, but I swear Charlotte is the only one it looks impactful with. Sell job isn’t the problem, but taking that actual move is always dicey af.

Great kick by Asuka. Rekt.

Bayley says nah fuck this rofl. Fair ending; a fun little sprint of meaningless jabs.

“Chairwoman of SD” I like that too, Graves. Points to you.

LMAOOO Bayley set that shit up perfectly kekekek what’s up Sasha.

She be looking fucking incredible, but that neckbrace is a mega bummer.

Character wise, I’m surprised Bayley’s choosing to dole out punishment rather than taking her title and bolting.

Welp maybe she should have, Sasha going to town lmao.

oof peep that red line going down Bayley’s arm. eesh. Welts all over her back.

Highlight: Sasha beating the shit out of Bayley with a kendo stick

---

*BONUS*

Main Event:

You don’t pan the camera over to fucking commentary during Bianca’s entrance. Do better @ production.

Ruby puts her confidence in Liv even though everybody knows Bianca is winning this match lmao.

LOVE Liv’s boots.

like 20 seconds into the match and it’s already 10x better than the Bianca vs Billie Kay one. Don’t even waste a spot on Main Event for Billie Kay. No, I’m not not sorry for saying that.

It’s not that I hold issue with Bianca’s showboating or mannerisms, but it’s all so much more fitting for a heel.

Beautiful stalling suplex, but Liv is rather small.

Beautiful distance on that dropkick to Liv. Liv gets points for throwing herself so far.

We have enough women who rip their shirts off deep into matches, me thinks. Don’t need it from Liv as well.

Momentum could’ve been split better, but that was a decent match.

---

*Clash of Champions would be my highlighted event mostly thanks to Bayley, but if that’s a cop out, I’ll give a slight nod to Smackdown’s handling of Alexa.

#wwe #issa review #feel free to ignore these #cuz who tf cares lesbihonest #today's props goes to: #bayley

[katoptrjs]

Why I’m a Slytherin

I do most things for my own benefit, and I’m not afraid to admit that.

I never admit my faults though: “lol wtf i didn’t do that?/&/)1”

I’m nice to e v e r y b o d y. I’ll only be rude if you insult me. No insults = great friendship!!

I’m honest with my friends when they need it, but also comforting when I can tell they’re hurting.

I’m strangely interested in the mentally ill/disturbed?? Apparently that’s a common trait for Slytherins

I work smart, not just hard

I’m self-centered but I won’t admit it lol

I plan bomb-ass surprise parties

I freak out when something doesn’t go my way, because I’ve worked so hard (most of the time)

I remember things about my friends. Small things.

I have many passions and ambitions, and overwhelm myself with plans for the future sometimes

I fight for the people I love, and let go of the toxic people in my life. Even if it takes a while

Random creative stories, life plans and bucketlists come up in my mind at, like, 3 am

I unintentionally flirt with others... or intentionally, because I’m strange like that

I have so many inside jokes with my friends

I have creative-ass insults

r e v e n g e

I’m a great leader, but I often feel like I have too much responsibility on my shoulders

I break the rules, but only the stupid-ass ones. With caution, too

“what the fuck even is sleep”

I tend to push the limits to see how much I can get away with

Some of my closest friends don’t even know the shit I’ve done

I glance at people who are crying, and then walk away usually

I sit down, and just decide to be in a bad mood

I insult people (anybody, doesn’t matter) unintentionally, or even intentionally, if I’m mad

I stand up for MYSELF.

I’m living on this Earth for me, me and only me. If me and my friend are both dying, you already know I’m picking myself to save and leaving my friend there lol bye (i’d regret it though)

I believe I’m not good enough, but don’t tell anyone

The last pizza slice/cookie is mine. MINE BITCH

I fear rejection a fuck ton. I often feel like I’m not good enough, or that somebody would pick another over me, just ‘because’

I usually do things because people say I can’t, or because I know I’ll excel at it

I have more house pride than I do pride for anything else

I will 100% be salty to anybody if I’m not in the mood— even my friends

I won’t forgive you until you dealt with same pain I did

Respect is earned, not given away

I’ll break all your bones if you fuck with me or my friends

I’ll be nice, but just get to know me and I’ll annoy you soon enough lmao

“fuck, i didn’t study, can i copy your test answers later?”

^^ or, “i studied, but i forgot everything???”

I SWEAR SO FUCKING MUCH AND EVERYONE HATES IT SHITSHITSHIT

I couldn’t give less of a cowshit about the people who dislike me; that’s their fault

^^ but at the same time, I’m scared of people rejecting me, especially if I’ve warmed up to them, or if they didn’t even give me a chance

I talk out loud to myself sometimes

I’m stubborn (or persistent, if you will), and I usually don’t care who I’m affecting to get what I want

I love writing and playing the piano

Music is fucking therapy bro

My friends’ happiness is mine, but their success is my jealousy

^^ but I can also be your biggest cheerleader when you’re pursuing your dream

I act underhandedly. teehee

Not only do I want to be on top, I want to prevent others from getting there, too

When someone asks me what I want to be when I grow up, my answer is the same as it was when I was 5

I hate when people say “you don’t understand” to me

Saying “fuck this” after not understanding something, but never crying over it

Having abusive parents, but dealing with it. Never crying.

Making friends with somebody because they seem “like me”

Laughing slightly at other people’s problems when they rant to me. Only when it’s honestly stupid, though

I shower at fucking 10pm!!

I roll my eyes more than I breathe

I fight hard in arguments, and even harder when I know I’m wrong. Yes, wrong.

I either work all night on something, or don’t start it at all

I stand up for my friends when someone is doing them wrong

I’m a good listener when it comes to people’s problems, not ideas

I only keep my own secrets

I share people’s secrets to know others’

I hear more peoples’ secrets without revealing any of mine

Being angry for 2037281 fucking years after not getting what I want

“Do you swear? Because I do. Are you comfortable with that?”

LYING M A S T E R.

I come up with excuses, not apologies

I’ll shoot excuses at you until you believe I’m not guilty (when I really am)

I’m genuinely proud of my accomplishments

I hate being alone. I hate it. So fucking much. I need my beautiful friends in my life.

Ignorant people annoy me. They ask a dumb question, when the answer is obvious.

I can forgive, but I don’t forget. Ever. Who’s to say somebody won’t do the same mistake again?

Being envied high-key makes me happy, shit

I put so much work and effort into something I know people will be reacting to, so I can earn their praise

I can tell if somebody is lying right away

I’m a slut for (envious) compliments, and will push myself to get them

I talk about my problems, and then stop halfway through, because I think the person who’s listening thinks I’m boring/annoying them

“it’s okay. i want to die. but i mean, it’s okay”

I insult people more than usual when they’re not doing things the way I want them to. It’s normally as a joke, but the insult’s pretty harsh

“no one gives a shit about school.”

Not clapping for people I’m jealous of after they share something, because I ‘don’t think they deserve it’

I WILL NEVER ADMIT TO JEALOUSY

I’m the mom friend. But, the mom that tells others your secrets. Or, the mom that watches you like a hawk to ensure that you’re okay

I have just as much confidence as a Gryffindor, but for confrontation, not stupid things

If I want things done the right way, they’ll be done my way

I often say “shut up” to people when I have a really good point to make

I take advantage of others sometimes. But I do it so well that they don’t even notice.

I only work with others when I know I can’t do it by myself

I do things to people just to see them cry or get upset if I’m mad at them

Being pitied lets me get what I want. That’s why I act upset often

“Are you okay?”

(Me) “I’m fine”

(Me) “But, this one bitch said—“

I’ll probably tell you if you’re boring me

I’m charming, ngl. Like, everybody that I’ve liked has fucking liked me back. Wow

I’m still a good friend. When I feel like I’m slipping away from my friends, I’ll hang around them more, and let my guard down

^^ I don’t do that to continue hearing their secrets or whatever, but because I genuinely love them

My alignment is ‘neutral evil’ yeet

Laughing at someone who falls or messes up with their words, because their reaction is funny

I think of comebacks before I fucking cream someone in a roast battle

My arguments usually end with me saying: “it doesn’t matter what you fucking think anyway, you know you’re wrong.” or just simply “sure. fuck you.”

Emotional friends? I usually roll my eyes when they walk up to me, tears streaming down their face. I make sure they don’t see my reaction, though

HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I’M MANIPULATIVE

I even ruin my fucking family’s day because I don’t get what I want from them

I want a tattoo. I will get a tattoo.

I gossip so goddamn much, but I cripple whenever I hear somebody talking about me badly

My first thought when someone upsets me is: “Kill them” lol bye

I don’t want power, I want the envy of others from having it.

I’m physical. Especially to the people I like

I’m a loyal friend, and often give my closest friends second chances. More than two, actually

I like coffee. Like

I have dark, straight hair

I’m so good at getting what I want, I even surprise myself

I do things to please others, because again, I fear rejection

I’m a different person when I’m alone— I can be more emotional

I’m more fun when I’m with others

I only cry when I have to

I turn everything into a competition; “she got applause? i’ll make sure that i get more.”

Green and silver aren’t my favourite colours, but I’m willing to say they are, because: house pride, baby

When manipulating people, if I ever feel bad, I’ll continue to manipulate them, because I’m too close to getting what I want to give up. << That makes me sound sociopathic, but if it’s a friend, I’ll most likely stop. Most likely

I tend to think of myself above others sometimes... oops

I let my guard down when I’m tired.

I’ve always feared being bullied, or being ‘not good enough’

Ya girl has fucking eye bags and pimples but doesn’t give a shit about them!!

^^ (yes I do)

I swear in front of friends who don’t like swearing, and then repeatedly say: “i didn’t say ‘fuck’, i said ‘frick’!” AND NOT NOTICING I JUST SWORE AGAIN LMFAO

I insulted these little kids hardcore once, just to earn laughs from my friends!/&2!:2 (they did it too, though)

“i don’t care if i’ve said it already, i’ll say it a-fucking-gain until you understand”

My parents are both Slytherins

I come up with a lot of ‘what if’ situations, and come up with the absolute worst thoughts

Scary movies are cool, but not when I’m alone

My dumbass lowkey laughs at scary shit sometimes

I TALK SO FAST BECAUSE I HAVE SO MUCH SHIT TO SAY

“welcome to my world, it’s called ‘i don’t give a fuck about you or your feelings’ ... ‘but if you’re my friend i’ll make sure you’re safe and happy bby’

I either comfort my friend when they’re sad to ensure that they’ll be okay after, or just leave them there to deal with it by themselves

I care about my friends feelings, and I want to make them (especially) laugh when they’re upset

Everything. I. Do. Is. For. My. Own. Benefit

I won’t admit that I like something because I don’t want to like something that a person I don’t like, likes (does that make sense?! who fucking cares lol)

I insult my friends more than others, because I think they can deal with it better

I make a good first impression, wanting to please people, because I fear rejection lolol

Water is a beautiful thing, and even though I can’t swim (lolol fuck) I love going to the beach and staying in the shallow end yeehaw

I overreact about something someone said/did because I’ve been wanting to snap at them all day

I’m chivalours, boi

“fucking hell, i dropped my fatass water bottle. shit.”

If someone drops something, I’ll stare at it until another person picks it up, instead of me picking it up

I’ll do nice things, because I’m not an *coughs* animal! I’m not all bad, yk

I’m popular. Are you jealous yet? LOL XD M8

When my friend tells me to do something, I’ll tell someone else to do it for me. Unless it’s something easy

I have second thoughts about being in Slytherin sometimes, and take the Pottermore quiz again, just to ensure myself

“lin, that’s unsafe”

“i know. that’s why i’m doing it”

I’m the most inappropriate, rude, dirty-minded, potty-mouthed of all my friends

I quote vines or people I love daily

Meeting my idols is huge for me, because I look up to them so fucking much

I don’t try out for certain teams because I know I’ll humiliate myself. I won’t say that’s the reason, though

I get ready for myself. I don’t care how shitty you think I look, because I think I look great, bitch

Doing something repeatedly after someone tells me I’m doing it wrong, or to stop doing it

“i can’t do it? watch me, asshole”

I’m always giving people attitude, sometimes unintentionally

I respect my teachers, because I don’t want to get in trouble. I just insult them quietly. Hardcore insults, though.

I fight for things I’m passionate about, and I’m not afraid to stand up for it even if I’m the only one supporting it

I won’t quit an argument until the other person admits that they’re wrong

I’m good at finding things (out)

I will purposely say: “they’re mad at me. but i don’t give a shit” to somebody, when my friend who’s mad at me is around

I do embarrassing things, and when I’m caught, I try not to show my embarrassment

I deal so well with pain, that you wouldn’t even know I was going through any if you looked at me

I don’t filter what I say. People don’t deserve the sugar-coated version of my insult

“i’m not rude, people are just too soft.”

Yes, I regret things. Yes, I apologize. Yes, I’m kind. But only to my friends, and anyone else whom I love with all of my heart

I guess you could say I pick my friends wisely

I struggle alone, hey hey hey!

I tell people the sugar-coated version of my problems, because I know if I told them the real version, they would call the police to take me to a new home or something

I know when to not do something, because I think about what would happen in the future

I know when to end a friendship, because it’s not benefiting me, mentally

I don’t feel bad when I’ve hurt people’s feelings when the insult really wasn’t that rude

I don’t really like learning, but I do when it’ll get me somewhere I want to be

#slytherinmemes #slytherin #slytherin things #slytherin traits #being a slytherin

[nicolinocolino]

thoughts on skamit season 2

(warning: this is long af and a little messy!!) 👇

(warning #2: I do make comparisons to the og; not everything I have to say is sunshine and smiles but I DO have a lot of praise to give as well: if you only want to read that just skip the first part 💛)

Things that made me go ???

Niccolò playing the piano. This just ended up being more disappointing than anything. Why introduce something so unique and special only to never mention it again? This could have easily been the passe på meg scene.

WHICH while we are on the subject, why was there NO PASSE PÅ MEG SCENE?! I do not understand this at all, unless the point of the clip flew right over Ludo’s head. (When did Niccolò notice Martino?? Why did he follow him into the radio booth?? Why did you deprive us of this information Ludovicoooooo)

Oh and: Ludovico Bessegato — I do not trust you and I think you’re a dick but also you’re kind of brilliant. I don’t even know what to think of him, tbh. Ok for real: I’m going to talk about the end of episode 2 for a second and more specifically, his reaction to the responses. Playing the victim? Deleting his Instagram? Not apologizing? He acted like a straight up child, and if he didn’t do that, I think I’d see him in a much brighter light. But instead, we got a glimpse of the person he really is and it doesn’t paint a pretty picture. (I am not the kind of person to see things in black and white and I’m also not the kind of person to base my opinion of others on one act — which is why I’m so torn on him. However, helping to develop Martino’s story and making creative choices I could praise forever doesn’t make up for this particular action and it also doesn’t make him a good person.)

AND YET — between all of the brilliant direction choices he DID make... why was the lighting so bad? This is not me being like ~wAh I WaNnA SeE tHeM KisS bEtTeR~ I just want to... see their expressions?? I keep reading in interviews how emotionally tolling the fight scene between the boys was and,,, I can hear it in their voices but damn I wish I could have seen their faces. Would have been nice.

Also: one directing choice I also didn’t quite understand was the lack of focus on Martino’s face in some scenes? Granted, I don’t expect the camera to be on him ALWAYS but there were some key scenes that just didn’t focus on his face at all when I thought it should: in the first episode when the boys are outside and Marti first notices Nico, Marti tells Luca he doesn’t want to hear his nasty clitoris story, to which Gio turns to Marti and tells Luca not to listen to him. And then... did that hurt Marti? Did he laugh? Guess we’ll never know because the camera just ignored him. Gio is his best friend and his opinion matters a lot to Martino, so why didn’t we get to see his expression? He’s the only member of the boy squad not wanting to listen to Luca’s story and he gets shut down. Does he care...? Also: the cabin scene in the morning. Marti introduces Nico and then.... we never get his reaction to the boys sleeping on the floor, to Nico inviting them to breakfast, to Luca hugging Nico... the camera literally forgets his existence after Nico meets the boys. These are just two examples off the top of my head but I know as I watched there were more.

The dialog choices regarding when they did and didn’t follow or deviate from the og. I’ll get more into the characters in the next section but it’s no secret that Martino and Niccolò are not Isak and Even and therefore, when the dialog was close to or a carbon copy of the og, it felt kind of forced into their mouths and rather rushed. My personal least favorite line they kept was the whole “your mom pays me” gag between Marti and Nico in the kitchen of the last clip. Just seems... very out of character for them (given the fact that Nico just got done being in a rather manipulative and controlling [she’s always managed to put me on the spot, to twist things, to make me believe everything she wanted me to believe. <— his own words!!!] relationship). When Marti and Niccolò had their own original banter (some notable examples include chatting about the radio [did you have something better to do?], before the pool kiss [are you dumb, are you stupid?], their entire talk in bed in 5.1, and “studying” together [yeah, that’s the idea]) it really really shined and, of course, felt totally in character. I love the choice to make Marti and Nico so different than Isak and Even (again I’ll get to that in more detail soon) but within that choice, the dialog needs to adapt to fit them and I feel like they either nailed it or totally missed the mark.

HOWEVER — there was one exception to this: I loved loved loved loved loved the coming out scene between Marti and Gio, despite it being almost word for word. I’d go as far to say I liked it more than the one in the og for several reasons: 1. Fede’s acting holy shit. (While this situation always has a lot at stake, the stakes felt very high for Martino here. I could feel how nervous he was not just to reveal a part of himself he’d been keeping hidden for so long, but how nervous he was to potentially lose his friend. It made my heart race!) That little swallow he did? God. I could feel the nerves. 2. Their surroundings and actions were not random. Marti invited Gio to play FIFA for a reason! It’s basically a ritual for them at this point and a very comfortable setting. Marti choosing this as his comfy place to come out to Gio reinforces the idea that he still likes “dude things” and that Marti is still the same guy Gio has played the last 100+ games with. 3. The! Cheering! Of! The! Crowd! In! The! Video! Game! After! Marti! Says! ‘It’s not a girl’!!!!!!!!!! POETIC CINEMAAAA. All in all, again, despite the dialog being just about the same, this scene still felt very in character for both Marti and Gio and was executed flawlessly. A+

The social media was good content wise but that didn’t make up for the inconsistency. Part of the appeal of SKAM and the remakes are how it brings viewers into the deeply personal lives of the characters. We read their text messages for god’s sake — that is so personal! Social media, yes, does make way for some good character development (catch me never being over the selfie of the boys in Bracciano) but mainly, it just humanizes the characters. Teenagers, mind you! Show me a teenager not glued to their phone. I don’t believe for one second Silvia didn’t have like, 7 Instagram stories every day. (Not that I expect that but at least one social post from one of the characters every day would have been MUCH more realistic.) (I’m not even going to get into how the skamit team just... uh, forgot the password to Marti’s original Instagram...? Is that even what happened? Why did they make him a new one lmfao. So messy.)

Things that made me go !!!

The change of characteristics and dynamic as a whole between Martino and Niccolò. A.k.a. the approach to the mood of the story was a genius idea and a brilliant way to “remake” the season. I loved how comfortable they fell into each other — never hesitant or afraid or even nervous. They genuinely enjoy each other’s company and immediately I could tell why they were so drawn to each other. Some people complained about this “lack of tension” but in the end, their dynamic was so important to lead up to La Grotta and make their story theirs: Nico chose Marti and Marti chose Nico. There was no saving each other — that’s Isak’s and Even’s thing!! That works for them and this works for Marti and Nico. Honestly, Isak and Even in every universe deserve something unique to guide their story to the same conclusion, and I’m thankful SKAM Italia did what they did with the characters to make this happen in their own way.

The contrabbandieri and focus on Marti’s friendships as an equally important part of his character as his relationship with Niccolò. All other squads are now held to the standard of the Italian boy squad because!! Wow. Such great chemistry between them all. I truly believe that they are all equally friends within the group as well as individually? Like, of course Marti and Gio have this special ~bond~ but I never got the feeling that if Luca and Marti or Elia and Marti hung out one-on-one it would be awkward. They are all so supportive of each other and while I hate the way they generally treated women, the way they treated each other is peak friendship: affectionate, honest, silly, I could go on forever; and I could watch them grilling coffee/dancing in a kitchen/eating disgusting pizza crusts/wrapping ties around their heads/sucking at table football forever.

On this note, I would also like to say that the inclusion of Niccolò into the boy squad right away in Bracciano was the content we deserved. I loved how this wasn’t random or fan service, either — Nico’s loneliness wasn’t ignored; it’s no secret he’s at a new school with no friends, probably being bullied or at least talked about behind his back by his classmate Marco Covitti, and recently broken up with his girlfriend he feels manipulated by. He needs friends right now and the fact that Marti’s friends are becoming his friends is so wholesome and important. Love love love this.

The introduction and inclusion of Martino’s mom. I thought their relationship was very realistic and instead of being like “oh, in the og Isak moved out so Marti needs to as well...” the skamit team was just like, no. That’s not realistic for a teenager in Italy so we’re just going to have to change some stuff. AND it gave some resolution to Marti and his mom (something I wish we got a little more of in the og) without sugar coating it. There are still problems, of course, but now Marti is stronger and wiser and more empathetic. Things are going to get better but he knows that not everything will always be good. Also, his mom needs someone?? I don’t blame Isak at all for getting out (and let’s be real his mom seemed like maybe she had some more intense issues) but I love the fact that Marti and his mom are working on it.

The last men on earth story / the symbolism of the giraffe and how those details directly intertwined to fit the difficulties and fears in the change of Nico’s mental illness. Once Maddalena said borderline personality disorder I did exactly what Dr. Spera said not to do and went right to google. But really it was only after some lovely people on here with bpd stepped forward to share their stories and enlighten us that I truly understood (to the best of my abilities) the nuances of Nico and his actions. Looking back, all of the details that seemed to change from the og just for drama or angst’s sake (like Nico completely ghosting Marti for example) were actually there for a reason and I think when Ludovico told us “you think you know what’s going to happen but really you have no idea” he was talking about this. Giving Nico’s character a different mental illness did a few positive things for the story: 1) it opened up all of the possibilities for beautiful new symbolism which the skamit team executed flawlessly. This, in turn, gave Marti and Nico their own things and their own story instead of copying the idea of parallel universes and the Romeo and Juliet storyline. 2) It shed awareness for an underrepresented and highly stigmatized mental illness. By showing us Nico the character (who is a lovely, lovely character: silly, talented, extremely thoughtful, loving) before showing us his mental illness, we see him as a human first. So important! Often characters in media with mental illnesses are reduced to their illness and can often fall into the ‘loveable asshole’ trope. We learn to love Nico right alongside Marti first — and while this is all the og’s brilliant idea, we now have this same story for a different mental illness and that’s beautiful.

The music! This was like, Marti’s soundtrack. We even get him explicitly saying he likes “indie and electronic” music — it adds a level of depth into his perspective as if he picked the soundtrack himself. I love this because there is no SKAM Italia music mood, it’s all based on the characters and their POV. (Skam season 3 did this as well, obviously, but more of a mix between Isak and Even with Romeo and Juliet thrown in there as well.)

The cinematography. I think this one goes without saying haha. While less “real” than the og, I’m a sucker for aesthetics and symbolism. And yes yes yes the wide shot in the pool and the open shots of Rome are beautiful BUT: the cinematography in skamit did more than make it beautiful. It helped tell the story. One perfect moment (in my opinion) that beautifully emphasizes this is when Martino and Niccolò are walking around in Milan without a single other person in sight. Was that realistic? No. Did that symbolize the last men on earth reference and heighten the audience’s empathy into Niccolò’s dissociative state? Absolutely.

This one is rather vague but the major (and not so major) changes — everything from swapping kosegruppa and biology class with the radio group to the scene where Martino meets Filippo. Every change was brilliant and is 100% where skamit shined. I’m actually most critical about the things they kept the same, and if skamit ever wanted to create their own original season beyond the 4, I have a lot of faith they’d write a good one. 💛

#skam italia #im probably forgetting stuff tbh #both on the ??? and !!! sides #but this took me like 4 days to write lmfao #i need to do a proper binge rewatch now that the season is over #if you read all of this you are a trooper

[istgimamess]

Label: yg entertainment

Stage name: Barbie

Debut year: 2014 (4yrs active)

Debut concept: sexy, dark, story driven, rap and dance heavy, hip hop/pop track!

Number of members: 1(solo artist)

Group name: you go by your stage name, Barbie!

Fandom name: bb's

Position: main dancer, vocal, rap and visual; basically everything (because you rock!)

Male bestie: Yukhei (NCT)

How you meet: you hurt eachother both physically and emotionally, and then laughed about it. Alot! It was a normal day, you had just returned from dance practice and you were kind of exhausted; so you weren't paying that much attention to your surroundings! And then, let's just say, you hit a wall. Literally! Knees buckling, foreheads banging, elbows stabbing eachother in the stomachs - you struggled to break free. "Oh my freakin- you broke my face!! My face is broken!! What the hell is your forehead made out of?!! Bricks?!" "Well, I wouldn't of had to break your face if you had just watched where you were going, you frat-boy looking douche!" There was a long pause, some intense eye contact and then you both were cracking up; red faced and both clutching your stomachs, you managed to introduce yourselves! You've been attached at the hip ever since! You both have 4D personalities and you both love to make people laugh! You're 100x more extra when you're with eachother! Like Bonnie and Clyde, Tom and Jerry - you have eachothers back but always tease eachother constantly! He quickly becomes one of your best friends! He also gets oddly really protective of you, in a funny way, and his band mates like to tease him to see his reaction! "Hmm, I think my girl crush would have to be Barbie! She's really sexy!" "...(delayed reaction) Wait, what!? (^..gif..^)..who just said that!?? I'll stab you in the eye with a fork!!.." Even though he uses humor to mask how much he dislikes other people talking about you, you know if it came down to it, he would genuinely put someone in their place for you! Your friendship is the sweetest! (*sob*.. my 4D son!)

Female bestie: Lisa (Black Pink)

How you meet: you meet through dance! You had started taking more and more dance classes and workshops after your debut and occasionally you would meet new people in those classes! Long story short, she "accidently" caught you off gaurd after practice one day and you might have turned around and kicked her in the shin in a desperate attempt to "defend" yourself. You apologized over and over again but she just wouldn't stop laughing and take your apology, "hahahahhahahahaha you call that self defense?! You looked like a rabid bunny...I'm sorry hahahhaha...I can't stop laughing...hahaha.." "HA! Hilarious. Laugh it up..." She ends up choking which makes you laugh hysterically, until both of you are just a mess of giggles. You quickly end up bonding over your love for dance and food! And it became kind of a game between you two, on who could sneak up and scare the other more: at award shows, at fan meets, at restaurants; any and everywhere you could possibly think of! You had gotten in couple of good scares, but she was still the reigning queen! Which, she always brags about! "Lisa, you're best friends with Barbie right!?" "Yeah! She's my bestie!" "I hear you like to sneak up and scare eachother! How do you usually do it?!" "Yeah! I get her everytime! Like this...(^.. gif..^).." She's such a fruitloop, but you love her!

Group bestie: NCT Dream

How you meet: it was one of the weirdest encounters you've had in your entire life, to be completely honest. One second you were picking out something to eat at the local 7-11 and then without warning you were surrounded by a pack of fetus looking thugs. "You barbie!?" "We've literally watched every single one of her music videos and all of her interviews. We know what she looks like, why would you ask such a stupid question!?" "I was just trying to act cool!" "Well that's your problem right there! You're a rapper not an actor!" "You want to fight me!?" "Oh look, Canada thinks he can throw down.." "Stop pushing his buttons, Haechan. But on a serious note, we've all seen pictures of her on Lucas' phone sooooo that definitely was a stupid question.." "I swear to go-" "Umm, sorry to interrupt but...what is happening!?" "We're your new best friends, we're here to replace Lucas. Nice to meet you!" "Ummm..I mean..okay, sure.." And just like that, your fate was sealed! (No joke, my brothers football team actually did this to me! Soooo yeah, this legit happened!) You end up not really minding though. They are super supportive, always cheering you on and hyping you up! It's kind of cute, they follow you around like little ducklings; always competing with Lucas for your attention and friendship. "Noona, Yukhei said you prefer atleast one of your bestfriends to be buff so..(^.. gif..^).." You love them!

Ship name: b-min, smiley couple

How you meet: you ran into him at an award show. Literally! You were too busy trying to watch out for Lisa! You knew she was obviously attending the award show, and you knew it was the perfect setting and opportunity for her to sneak up and scare you; so you weren't paying attention to anything! Until you were laying flat on the ground, another human being hovering over you. "Yikes, are you okay!?" "Oh my god! I'm soooo sorry!" You apologize profusely as he tries to help you stand. "It's no problem, I might be short but I'm sturdy- nope, I take that back, you're shorter.." With red cheeks and shaky hands you both stumbled awkwardly through your introductions and from then on, it was history! He ended up asking you out and you jumped at the gun to say yes; you've been together ever since. He really is a great boyfriend, always cuddling you, buying you flowers, taking you out to eat, supporting you. (I'm actually getting kind of jealous lmfao) He's whipped and his band mates tease him about it all the time! "And here we have Park Jimin not paying attention to the camera at all because he's too busy texting Barbie! What a shocker!....(^.. gif..^)..." You're total relationship goals!

Biggest fan: Wooseok (Pentagon) is probably your biggest fan! He's constantly listening to your music, watching your MV's, downloading your songs, watching your TV appearances and talking about you in interviews! "I'm a huge fan of Barbie-noona! She's really talented and she's such a good dancer! I would love to collab with her sometime in the future!" It's the cutest thing; he's such a big fan of everything you do and he's so loyal to your fandom, constantly calling himself a fellow bb! "Wooseok, quick question! Do you think there is anyone in the world that dances better than Barbie?!" "...(^..gif..^)..." It's adorable!

Scandal: it's not a secret that you're a dancing dancer who loves to dance, and it's definitely not a secret that EXO's Kim Jongin is one of the best dancers out there, in your opinion! (It's a total FACT!) So given that he's actually one of your closest friends, even an older brother at times; always willing to practice with you and give you advice! You use this to your benefit! Often! That's why dispatch has photographs of you and Jongin together on multiple nights! "New romance between Solo Artist Barbie and EXO's Kai?!" "Ken and Barbie?! More like Kai and Barbie! New hott couple alert!" You both end up laughing until you're curled up in a ball on the floor. "Really?! A Barbie and Ken joke!? That's what they're leading with?" "You're a bit too vertically challenged to be a Barbie, but honestly I'm killing it in the Ken department.." "Jongin, are you actually trying to fight me right now?!" It's really ridiculous!

Other activities: sure, you're a singer and a rapper but dancing is and always will be your number one! It's your passion, it's what you went to school for and it's what you live to do! So when yg suggests that you start trying to broaden your fan base with some type of variety show or competition like 'Hit the Stage' you freaked out! (Girllllllll, so would I!)You were so excited but also very nervous to showcase more of your dancing skills on such a big platform but it turned out to be one of the funnest experiences! You ended up feeling right at home amongst the other dancers, made some new friends, learned more about dance as a craft and even made some new fans! "It was just sooo fun! I was definitely nervous but I pulled though! I knew I had it in me!" "Ohhhh wow, so you're just not going to give me credit at all!? I mean, its not like I went through another dating scandal just to help you practice or anything, right?! How rude of you, midget." "Oh my god, Jongin, I swear I will push you down a flight of stairs..." It was awesome!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

@kbabie heyyyy sooooo yeahhh, thank you so much for your patience! I know it takes me hella long to do idol ships, because I kind of overdo it. But thank you so much for the request, I hope you like it! Please feel free to let me know what you think! 😅

#im sooo freaking sorry for how long this took me 😢 #i feel so rusty and the quality of this idol life ship sucks giant monkey balls soooo #yeah #soooo sorry #idol life ships #yg entertainment #yukhei #lucas #nct #nct lucas #lisa #blackpink lisa #blackpink #nct dream #wooseok #pentagon #pentagon wooseok #bts #bts jimin #park jimin #kai #exo #exo jongin #kim jongin #hit the stage #kpop ships #horoscope ships #mtl ships #selca ships #moodboard ships

[vermontparnasse]

les miserables review - u.s. tour (hartford) 10/7/17

ok, here we go.  sorry this took so long but i have never been less enthused to write a les mis review..... i hate to say it guys but this was probably the worst collective cast i have ever seen.  half of them were playing the wrong role and almost none of them had any chemistry with one another... i realize it's still very early on in the tour and they didn't have a very long rehearsal period but that's no excuse for the national tour to come across as amateur community theatre, which is tragically what i felt like i was watching  for most of those two and a half hours.  i do have a couple of positive things to say and there were a few standout performances, but mostly..... yikes.

nick cartell as valjean: i guess he did the best he could given that he was very, very, very, very badly miscast.  when your valjean would probably be a better fit for marius, you know you've got a problem.  he was too young by at least fifteen years, and the way he sang the score was an insufferable series of riffs - he was basically ramin without the ego and without the shirt ripping.  he was just very badly out of his depth.  i was prepared to be kinder to him in the second act - his bring him home was quite good and he aged better than i'd thought he was going to - but then at the moment of valjean's death when he sang 'forgive me all my trespasses' he literally SPRANG out of the chair, like dying had rejuvenated him.  it was bad guys.

josh davis as javert: does hayden tee have a brother........... anyway, the way he was singing the score i think he was trying to emulate earl by making his notes precise and crisp, but everything just came out really staccato and it was not pleasant to listen to.  he also jutted out his jaw every time he wanted to look menacing which achieved a comedic disney villain effect, a la hayden.  stars was definitely the highlight - he sang and acted it much better than anything else... otherwise, it was just a mess.  he literally came across as drunk during his suicide - like he wasn't killing himself because of his inability to reconcile valjean's mercy with his personal view of the world, he was killing himself because he'd stayed at the bar too late and had one too many.  i have no idea what sort of journey he thought his character was on, but it just wasn't javert.

melissa mitchell as fantine: i'm sorry but this woman cannot act to save her life...... the way she carried herself was so modern, i don't know how to explain it but the way she moved was just so off and it was really distracting?  and her whole performance was just going through the motions, like "and still i dream he'll come to me... time to run to the left of the stage!" "life has killed the dream i dreamed.... time to glance over my shoulder dramatically!"  it was just all so artificial and inauthentic, you could practically see the stage directions in front of her eyes.  and don't get me started on the dying moment where she reaches her arm out and then collapses......... lord.  bad.

jillian butler as cosette: she was good!!  i mean... idk, i don't have a whole lot to say about her.  after seeing sam hill and alex finke in the role repeatedly, both of whom are absolutely superb, it's kinda hard to live up to that... jillian didn't take it to the next level or expand on their performances in any way - it was a very basic, pared down, 'hi i'm sweet and lonely' cosette, but there's nothing wrong with that?  she was solid and i have no complaints with her, but it wasn't a particularly memorable performance.

joshua grosso as marius: the best performance of the night, thank fuckin god!!!!!!!!  it has been so long since i have seen an adequate marius!!!!!!!!  i didn't agree with 100% of his choices (e.g., in AHFOL rather than singing "dear mademoiselle" he sort of squeaks it in a high pitched voice which is cute and appropriately awkward but i didn't totally connect w/ that decision because i love hearing that line sung) BUT he really understood the character and he didn't have too many moments like that of derailing the score.  i loved how awkward and genuine he was with cosette, and i loved how serious his reaction was to valjean's confession.  it was an all-around solid performance that was filled with the appropriate level of sincerity.  my biggest complaint is the mientus-esque crocodile tears after eponine's death, but i'm tentatively blaming that on direction.

phoenix best as eponine: she was terrible.  maybe she hadn't gotten any sleep the night before, because the whole time she looked like she'd rather be in bed.  dead eyes, no expression, dead on her feet, fake punches looking incredibly weak and stagey, having to be dragged around the stage by the other actors.  there was no fight to her, she was just resigned and dull.  her voice is tinny and not terribly pleasant to listen to, but i'd have forgiven that for a solid performance... which unfortunately we did not get.  though i WILL give her credit for on my own - there was some weird hammering or some shit going on backstage throughout that song but she pushed through admirably.  but otherwise, she was a pretty big disappointment.

matt shingledecker as enjolras: chelsea said after the show "enjolras was a literal frat boy, was he leading them to a revolution or to the club?" and i can't really beat that.  his enjolras basically was a rich young boy playing a game.

j. anthony crane as thenardier: he was rly fantastic!!!!  god after cliff saunders and whoever tf else we had to suffer through on bway, i would have welcomed just about anyone.... i mean, i have long ago reconciled myself to the fact that i will never see this character played the way i'd like to in an ideal world, because he's just become OTT comic relief, and j. anthony crane certainly has those OTT moments (notably in dog eats dog) BUT compared to the sort of nonsense that we are used to, it is such a toned down performance and there's actually a hint of something sinister lurking beneath the comedy.  i only hope he doesn't try to play up the laughs too much as the tour goes on.

allison guinn as mme. thenardier: meanwhile............ the most hammy performance i have EVER seen in this role.  it's a rare day that i just try to ignore mme. t and focus on thenardier when they're on stage together, but here we are.  god, she was insufferable, and she gave that kind of 'i'm so clever and above all of you' performance on top of the OTT humor that i absolutely loathe.

let's see, what else is there to say.

- 'give way, javert' is back after the sewers.  not sure why but i'm into it.

- SO MANY actors were singing on the beat...... i think the foreman was the worst offender ('YOU. PLAY. A. VIR. GIN. IN. THE. LIGHT. BUT. NEED. NO. UR. GING. IN. THE. NIGHT.') but it was honestly so many cast members and it was distracting af???

- but otherwise, a rly promising ensemble!!!!  i liked almost everyone who didn't have a main role lmao.  

- though they RLY need to work on their blocking....... again, i know it's early in the tour so i'm rly hoping this improves, but this production was just messy.  stage punches look fake, characters who are meant to interact at certain moments barely look at each other, just a lot of inauthentic movement that can only improve with more rehearsals.

- omg this is such a minor thing that i liked....... ok so you know how in the bway production they had fantine's first customer be the foreman?  i never saw any particular reason for that, but in this production when fantine is being offered to the foreman she has her back turned, and when she's handed to him she turns around and he sees her face and he laughs when he recognizes her, and the irony of the moment is so sad that i found myself rly moved by it.

- andrew love is a fuckin gift.  will someone make him principal javert already.

bottom line: what can i say....... i was mostly just rly let down.  of the nine main roles i mentioned here, i really enjoyed two (one of which was thenardier lmfao like who even cares about thenardier???), i didn’t mind one, and the rest were just bad.  that’s 2/3 of the main cast i thought were either playing the wrong role or had no business playing any role in les mis at all.  i can only hope they get stronger as a group as the tour goes on, because maybe if i’d felt more camaraderie between them the whole thing wouldn’t have left me so cold?  that was one of les mis bway’s strengths imo - the entire cast just worked so well together.  the tour cast did not.  unless i hear that they get better in upcoming months, i will not be making any more pilgrimages to see this cast.

#review

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Why don’t you like Only Us?

lmao Only Us exasperates me on like several levels at once......

i mean there’s plenty of stuff in deh that i’m just like. “i don’t particularly feel the need to experience this again” like, naturally i care most about the jared and alana content, so already a song with neither of them in it is at a disadvantage with me, which is yeah most of the songs but that’s deh canon for you. my favorite parts are the non-hansen non-murphy characters!! epic for me

meanwhile from like a Story standpoint the writing for zoe and evan’s relationship is like, baffling lmao, and i think both Love Songs (if i could tell her & only us) exemplify how it is a mess.......like, why does “if i could tell her” Not tell us why evan likes zoe???? it’d be great if we could find out, since we already have found out he’s never talked to her. is it just that she Seems Nice. b/c like, sure, except that here we have a whole song to explain to us in greater detail why evan is so set on being in love with zoe and pinning all his hopes on her, but he just kind of lists off random surface-level stuff which doesn’t actually tell us anything either about her or, you know, Why Evan Likes Her? we’re just skipping to like, “oh see he Pays Attention, that proves he likes her” like okay whatever but WHY lmfao please......and yknow not to mention that this is all stuff that we can understand as both “something evan noticed about zoe b/c of crushing on her” and “something zoe might think was an observation coming from her brother” like.......bit underwhelming here, and really the most interesting Interaction zoe and evan have is where zoe says the wild shit about how evan is a Fool to want to be financially secure and evan is “rude” in response and she’s like yeah you don’t have to be polite all the time, and then this potential avenue of connection of them both feeling Obligated to Act Nice is pretty much just dropped and their relationship just becomes based on “you’re nice” again and like, is Nothing lmao.........why

and slam dunking on “if i could tell her” also there b/c Only Us is similar in that like, oh here’s the other Love Song but now it’s zoe’s turn to tell us why she likes evan!!!!! except she pointedly Does Not like *why* are either of you At All invested in this relationship lmaooo i s2g........like, just writing in “wow i like you so much” is not really compelling and like. i would be fine with this just being some nice, enjoyable high school dating experience where they Don’t really have any big reason to be together beyond “well, you’re pretty nice,” except there’s the problems that a) between So Much Time and focus being put into this Relationship, and zoe’s character pretty much becoming “evan’s nice gf” for all of act 2 and not much else about any other aspect of her experience, and the fact that the whole finale to resolve the show and its themes (?? what are those) and evan’s arc (?? what is that) is zoe Forgiving him and saying “Everyone Needed [what he did] For Something” like....did they??? did You???? did jared, did alana.........and also then telling us that she wishes she could’ve dated evan still if things had been normal like???? whyyyyyyyyyyyyy. and why would zoe feel the need to tell him this. seems 2 be justifying evan’s crush and pinning-of-hopes re: her, and by extension justifying this whole Relationship being given soooo much focus b/c even if there’s meant to be some Ambiguity in what we, the audience, might be intended to take away from it, like, clearly this relationship is justified as being Vital and the show treating it as such. which wouldn’t quite fit if it Was just like “oh shrug yeah i mean dating you was alright but nbd” like, it Must be meant to be some whole ~signficant connection~ between them. buuut there’s no actual sign of that lol. and the other problem is b) it also can’t just be a Fun, Casual High School Romance b/c at no point do they really seem to enjoy being together lmao or comfortable in each other’s presence. even their Joking Around for 2 seconds at the start of the “only us” scene feels to me more like nervous joking to cut the tension lmao...

like it does not count to have evan be like “i like zoe” and never actually give us reason why and have zoe take the other love song like “i like you also” but not tell us Why and expect us to like, just take a wild guess at the Supposed Depth of this relationship and what constitutes it or be at all invested. and i mean, evan’s holding zoe at arm’s length b/c there’s this inherent amount of lying he has to do constantly, and why would zoe be like “wow this relationship is great, i’m getting so much out of it” like, have they had conversations?? have they Enjoyed being in each other’s presence and like had genuine fun Being Themselves??? “only us” really does just feel like this cop out both in terms of Why zoe likes him and Why zoe feels like this relationship *isn’t* completely entangled with evan’s supposed relationship with connor. in that it explains neither, just has the character Say that is how she feels. like, we have ALL of evan’s interactions with zoe being dependent on connor, and the whole Initial love song is zoe paying attention b/c Supposedly evan is telling her stuff about what connor thought about her, and then zoe deciding she Does want to kiss evan actually is via disappear and ywbf and everyone’s reaction to evan’s speech supposedly about connor and her dad acquiescing to the fact he has emotions about his dead son thanks to everyone’s reaction to evan’s speech / tcp........like, this relationship is clearly contingent on stuff re: connor, and zoe apparently changing her mind and wanting to be with him is Because of everything re: connor, but then like, just b/c she says in Only Us that she Doesn’t want it all to be about connor doesn’t change all of that......like, yeah, it can be true that she wants this relationship to be separate from anything re: connor, but just having her Say That does nothing to convince me that oh yeah they have this whole Romance that really *is* separate from connor, like?? where??? we haven’t seen it. and when zoe says at the end that she wishes she could’ve dated evan minus [everything that actually happened], again: why!!!!! what *was* your Relationship-Minus-Connor. here it Supposedly is in “only us,” except that the tl;dr of it is just them insisting they totally have a relationship which involves Them and Nothing Else and i do not buy it just b/c they’re saying it??? i mean, for a start, they’re just Hypothesizing it. “what if it’s us & only us” etc etc “we could Try that” like, fuck around and find out, pretty literally i guess??? lmfaoo god.........

like, there’s some space between “hey maybe the Entire Solution to your being Anxious about this relationship isn’t a handy list of things i like about you” and “i shouldn’t tell you anything i like about you” like, sure there’s something that maybe works in like, why don’t you just Assume i like you instead of assuming i Don’t until Proven Otherwise, but again she can get that across And tell him (and like, more importantly, us the audience) why she likes him......and she can give some of those reasons why she likes him Without it being just a list of traits or things she’s noticed a la “if i could tell her” lmao like, describe him broadly!!! talk about One Nice Experience you shared!!!! we have noooo info about why evan likes zoe or why zoe likes evan. we just know that they’re Nice Teens (or teens who feel obligated to act nice all the time) and they are saying “I Like You” to each other. why does this relationship feel so necessary and Good to zoe even after she found out he was lying, and was she having such a great time beforehand??? you can find lots of nice boys you can kiss if that’s what you’re after, like, neither love song tells us Anything about why this particular relationship is so important and good or like, has any substance at all

and additionally you Know i’m your one-stop shop for Hot Takes About Any Number Of Concepts Re: Romance(tm) Which I Think Are Bullshit Slash Hate lmfao and one of those is tying whatever notion of the Ideal Romantic Relationship to that like, isolating the partners, like oh they’re your whole world now and the relationship’s defined by the fact that you don’t need about anybody or anything else and/or don’t care about anything/anyone else even nearly as much and wouldn’t it be Great if nothing else existed but you and your partner and this relationship........like sure it’s one thing for evan and zoe to be like “hey epic some Alone Time where larry isn’t trying to share metaphors about sports equipment” or whatever. but like, okay sure @ the start of things where the focus is more on like “hmm weird that everything about our relationship is so tied to connor, what if we just sort of say it’s starting for real Now unrelated to all that, even though we even have to talk about it to do so” but then you get towards the end and oh we also want the whole world to be irrelevant to us. and absolutely everything except each other / It Is Only Us(tm) like.........again sure if you look at this Immediate Moment where they wanna make out and fade to black, whatever. but this moment is also supposed to be this second start to the relationship, at least sorta reestablishing it, so natch it’s sort of like....about More than this particular moment. the zoevan brand ethos is This??? where your relationship is defined by like, needing or Wanting to be [just the two of you] like, well it can’t always be, so what are you gonna do about that?? and if your Best Times Together in that ideal state of isolation is like, hey now let’s make out, okay, again there are many decently nice people out there to kiss

and there sure seems to be Some awareness that this isn’t ideal thanks to how the immediate next scene is alana going like “um what the fuck, evan” and evan taking out the stress of Having Problems on jared...........aaaand yet i’m not so sure this is like, “oh, the Only Us brand of approach of just wanting and trying to ignore The Rest Of The World wasn’t so ideal after all” but rather just like. Wow How Tragic that they couldn’t truly keep the rest of the world at bay and now reality is intruding on their perfect relationship :( which would suuuure seem to fit with the mystifying sentiment zoe expresses in the finale of like, oh i wish i could’ve dated you Normally w/o [how the entire course of their relationship played out] like. oh Only Us really WAS ideal, that’s the epitome of / the Core of all the great parts of their relationship which was obviously great, and if only everything re: tcp and connor wasn’t the way that it was, they would’ve just been able to forget obligations w/o someone being like “the hell” and hold hands and kiss without people talking about it or anyone feeling bitterly rejected........like, idk, would they Really have dated if the entire plot hadn’t happened as it did??? evan was never talking to zoe, and we don’t know why he liked her so much in the first place, and apparently zoe’s perception of evan was “sort of a loser” like, okay. and when they Are together thanks to tcp-related stuff, we get no more information about why they might like each other. that one potentially engaging thread of “we both feel obligated to put on these fronts of Constant Niceness” existed for like 3 seconds and then they just start being constantly nice around each other, great lol. like again, this doesn’t seem so much of like “oh, these teens just having a chill time dating maybe have this simplistic / offbase ideas about relationships” as much as like the show justifies Only Us and all the sentiments therein.........like yeah wow if Only it could’ve been only them and the rest of the world could’ve stayed out of it!!! everything would’ve been perfect!! b/c we tell you so

not to mention all the like Official covers of Only Us which areout of the specific context in which it’s placed in the show, which sure only emphasizes like “hey these sentiments can be and should be taken straightforwardly” and i’m like, get tf away from me with this lmfao i am So uninterested. a romantic relationship should do the Opposite of shrink / restrict your world or suddenly make all other relationships less important, much less like, require those things, and also the nuclear family model is a scam pushed by capitalism to cut off people’s support networks / isolate them lmao But Really It Is, social isolation is Not romantic or anything else that is ever positive. and it’d be Whatever if it truly was applied to that very specific moment of “boy it sure is Only Us in this room, :eyes emoji:” buuut it’s not, and it’d be Whatever if evan and zoe’s relationship was Meant to be sort of a misguided mess all around lmao Or just more superficial and casually enjoyable than meant as anything ~deep and Real(tm)~ buuuut it is not........i think canon does sure allow for the fact that things are messy for sure but i think it also definitely wants you to think that like. oh this Relationship was truly great and things were all good in its Core (jk, what core), it’s just that tragically all those complications with connor / tcp got too in the way........yet it was so Essential and ultimately positive that this relationship happen for both of us...........like, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lmaoooooo @ deh WHAT are your themes, What are either of these character’s arcs meant to be!!!!!!! idk zoe and evan's relationship more felt bizarrely like these two teens were Settling for white picket fence ideals of “well you’re nice and i’m nice and we could kind of tensely continue to be nice indefinitely” like, do you guys even like each other that much, do you Know each other at all, do either of you truly Enjoy being in this relationship??? and then meanwhile you get all the bizarreness re: larry and cynthia’s relationship and how it doesn’t actually improve but uhhh they’re going on dates and they’re not divorced so hey, i’m sure that’s good, you definitely helped them through Mystery Reasons...........and idk it seems like the idea of the Journey that zoe takes is that like, oh it’s Bad that this nice girl has to be mad, somehow dating evan will fix that and she won’t be mad, since being mad can never be a good thing, and Not being mad is always an improvement. like, why is she this cool with evan in the finale. why does she want to tell him she (and everyone) Needed what happened and that she wishes she could date him. deh is of the Mystery genre actually, and so much of it remains unsolved

also Only Us just gets fairly boring like 3 listens in i think. like can we literally pick up the pace a little. up the tempo. get it over with faster. i don’t even know at this point b/c i just choose not to listen to it ever lmfao every time the deh twitter tries to tell me about a cover it’s transphobic b/c i hate it. but i’d put up with it if i didn’t hate the ideas in it meant as ~romance~ and if any of this was tempered by evan and zoe’s relationship being written better and/or Not trying to be wrangled as like, “This Is Good Actually even if some parts aren’t perfect, the point is that evan was right to pin all his hopes on zoe, who’s needed in this show to validate his existence in the finale” like. what is this. and again, capitalism is bad and the nuclear family is Not the base unit of society, and what’s the deal with deh being like “well, as long as larry and cynthia don’t get divorced, right???? we don’t need to know that their relationship actually improved and that cynthia’s at all happier / feels like she has more of an identity or that larry has more fundamental respect for cynthia or thinks he’s not Automatically / Always Right just b/c his life has been fine.....they’re going on dates and aren’t divorced so that’s their Improved Ending!!” like, what’s up with that, right. the relationships that matter are Familial ones and dating the nice girl who has a juxtaposable family, and the other relationships, i.e. with jared and with alana, can evaporate into the ether and maybe get damnatio memoriae’d for as much as their existence plays into the finale. disappear.mp3. i have absolutely zero motivation to experience Only Us again ever lmao and in fact i guess i have negative motivation b/c i Want to avoid it and will take active steps in the sense of like “oh i’m watching deh? let me just skip past all these parts i don’t need to see again, including only us” like. i’m good

tl;dr  it annoys me & i do not think it works from Any structural standpoint

#deh #Anonymous

[ghostbustermelanieking]

prompt: Pilot episode. A rookie Agent Scully's just found bumps similar to what was found on Billy Miles & Theresa "nosebleed" Nemman. She's worried and she's realizing that her partner is the only one who can shed any light on the bumps. What's the scene/thoughts during the moment between when she finds the bumps and when she disrobes in front of her /new/ partner? (i've always loved that small second of hesitation she has before dropping the robe in the show lmfao so yeah)

When she finds the bumps, she isn’t thinking about the case.

She was thinking about the case, right up until the power went out - she’s a professional, after all - but it’d seemed a little futile to be thinking about it in the dark. She’d figured now was a good a time as any to take a shower. By the time she entered the bathroom with her flickery candle, her mind had turned to a hundred other things - the girls weekend she and Ellen and Kathy have planned a month from now, her brother flying in for Easter, whether or not she can convince Mulder to partake of that salmon he went on and on about tomorrow. And then her fingers brush over the small of her back and find the bumps.

She dismisses it for a split second before she remembers the slide show Mulder presented days ago. The flashing pictures of raised bumps on the backs of corpses. On Karen Swenson and Peggy O’Dell. She begins twisting to try and face the mirror to compare the marks, but the bad lighting and inability to bend that way only increase her panic. She collapses on the closed toilet seat, head spinning, mind racing.

It could be an animal bite, she starts to rationalize, as is her habit. Or some kind of rash, you were in the woods all night… But the small of her back was unlikely to be exposed to anything that would cause this. Her next thought is that the marks are the result of a virus, something that would explain the death of Karen Swenson and those other kids. But the autopsy showed no explainable cause of death. No plausible explanation for these marks…

She doesn’t believe in aliens and she doesn’t believe these kids were abducted by them. There has to be some kind of plausible explanation for it all. Scully thinks back on the case, finally landing on the protein-like thing Mulder had asked her to identify. Maybe the bumps are a reaction to exposure to that chemical, maybe she was exposed at some point. But she’s worn gloves, been careful, can’t think of a time when such exposure would be possible… unless it happened during her chunk of missing time.

Scully shivers, scooping her robe up off of the floor and wrapping it around her. “Time can’t just disappear,” she firmly reminds herself in the empty room, echoing her words from earlier. It’s a universal invariant. But something did happen in that car, some kind of… blackout or something. But still, there was no way they were abducted during that time… isn’t there? And the only person who had access to her during this time was Mulder.

It’s a possibility, she supposes, that Mulder could be setting her up, trying to convince her of his insane claims by manipulating her somehow, that he could’ve caused these bumps, but she highly doubts that this is the case. She is here to debunk him, but his behavior towards her these past few days is not suggestive of him doing anything like that to solidify his ideas, to give him credit. He’s passionate, sure, frustrating, sure, but not malicious, she doesn’t think. Besides, he clearly doesn’t care about his reputation (if he’s going to call himself the FBI’s most unwanted, he must be), so the only person he’d be trying to convince by causing these marks is her. She’s not sure why she feels this way, but some small part of her unconsciously trusts him. He’s given her little reason not to - and they are, after all, partners. 

So what does that leave?

She doesn’t believe in aliens. But something is killing these kids, leaving a mammalian creature with an implant up its nose in Ray Soames’ grave. Something is causing these marks. 

I think those kids have been abducted, Mulder had said. Abductees… people who have made UFO sightings, they’ve reported unexplained time loss, Mulder had said. It’s absolutely ridiculous, there is no way they’ve been abducted by aliens, Scully thinks. But the signs are all there. Some iota of evidence, insane or no.

She’s thinking crazy, she tries to move her mind away from that, dismiss the marks, but she finds she can’t. Her legs won’t stop trembling when she gets up to turn off the shower. She’s shaken, that’s for sure, and she doesn’t see herself calming down at any point in the foreseeable future. There seems to be only one solution to put her mind at rest. She’s at Mulder’s door within five minutes.

He opens the door, candle in hand, and says, “Hi,” with some kind of gentle surprise. She trusts him, she does, and she kind of hates him and herself for it. If he were some suspicious, awful person, she could dismiss the marks as a result of his manipulation. Safe, scientific explanation. Staying with her priorities. Nope, no problem here.

“I want you to look at something,” she says, hating the way her voice trembles like a reed in the wind. 

“Come on in,” Mulder says immediately. 

He steps aside and she enters. She realizes in the moment that she didn’t consider changing into actual clothes, a shirt that she could easily lift up and show him. Mentally berating herself, she doesn’t bother to turn around or explain, just slips the robe from her arms down past her waist so that the marks are visible in the candlelight. Better to get this done so she can sneak back to her room and drown herself in her embarrassment and/or panic. She looks back at him, where he’s looking at her questioningly. This isn’t a come-on, she thinks with frustration, motioning towards her back with her chin. He kneels obediently to take a look. “What are they?” she asks, trying to make her voice stop shaking.

His fingers find her spine, gently, and she shivers from the contact. They are warm, imprinting themselves on her skin. The flame flickers. “Mulder, what are they?” she demands, panic rising.

Mulder grins with ease - not a cruel grin, a genuine smile. “Mosquito bites.”

“Are you sure?” she practically stammers, somewhere between relieved and furious at him for making her panic. Her pulse is racing. 

“Yeah. I got eaten up a lot myself out there,” he says, some attempt at comfort.

Scully breathes out in relief, pulling her robe back up. She turns towards Mulder and into his arms, leaning hard against him.

His arms come up around her gingerly, clearly surprised. This is way past Bureau protocol and they’ve known each other for approximately three days. She’s somewhere between furious and ashamed of herself for behaving this way. “You okay?” Mulder asks softly, nose turning slightly into her hair.

The candle light flickers outside her vision. She wasn’t abducted because aliens don’t exist. Whatever happened to those kids didn’t happen to her. Mosquito bites. “Yes,” she says softly. I’m just fine.

#pilot scully is so pure #xf fanfic #i wrote this

[psyclownsis]

meta anon again (btw i love your meta posts and your skill for character analysis is just *chef kiss*) whats your take on the wonder woman/harley quinn dynamic.? i, like most girls with taste, love sappho incarnate wonder woman but wouldnt harley being a villain make it hard for them to have any type of positive relationship? i just love all of harley's relationships and specifically your takes on them

HELLO META ANON I LOVE U………………………..

i think harley has probably only met wonder woman like once or twice, if she even has met her at all, cause like, while i am all here for harley being a capable supervillain who pulls off amazingly risky shit and gets away with it because she genuinely does love and excel at being a supercriminal…….. she’s also a dumbass who does shit like “kidnap robin and try to force him to talk about his feelings because batgirl has been more aggressive recently and like not that it’s any of my business but i am a licensed therapist u know?? or at least i was at one point but whatever, u know what i mean. but yeah anyway last week she didn’t even give a witty shut-down to my pun and you guys are usually like kind of a thing so i just wanted to see if everything is okay between you two because i know how uncomfortable it can be to try and talk about like teen problems and stuff with your dad and i just want you to know that i’m here if you ever need help with girls or boys or homework or–” (and then she gets punched in the face) so like. she’s not exactly a wonder woman level threat lmfao. BUT the few times she HAS met wonder woman, probably during justice league vs. injustice league stuff, her reaction was to (cecil palmer voice) fall in love instantly and i think the only thing stopping her from trying to rob the smithsonian in order to get wonder woman’s attention is that she knows wonder woman has, like, real problems to deal with (unlike some superheroes, who are constantly fighting with their exes, or punching carnival rejects because they hate fun, or hauling giant pennies and robot dinosaurs to their secret hideouts instead of, idk, planning a nice retirement party for gordon or something)

but yeah as far as harley being a villain i think that honestly kind of limits their interactions... i do think that diana would find harley’s morality and personality ?? interesting ? if not ultimately tragic or even a lost cause ? cause like. it’s not like harley is Evil. she is just Bad. yeah she is mentally ill and has abusive influences in her life but even before any of that she was pretty Bad at her core. u know?? idk it’s hard to explain BUT basically i think they would get along if they were stuck together and diana might end up having a lot of respect and sympathy for harley as a woman but their relationship would ultimately be “morally flexible supervillain meets morally solid but very gay feminist superhero, what happens next will shock you”

tldr: wonder woman is so far out of her league but that hasn’t stopped harley from telling batman to casually mention she’s single at the watchtower at least 3 times

#outtajokes. #meta: general. #majorly op woman with superpowers who could crush harley like a grape if she annoyed them: exists #harley: already shopping for rings #shes like this with ivy. shes like this with diana. shes like this with enchantress. @ op female characters come treat her right im begging #Anonymous #answered.