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#is it because i feel broken and deep inside i want connection? is that a desire i have

futureman · 6 months

Text

happiest day

pairing: mike schmidt x reader

summary: when you least expect it, mike surprises you with a confession

warnings: 18+ MDNI, established relationship, hint of angst, smut, unprotected piv, creampie, mentions of rough sex, requited feelings

word count: <1k

Mike tells you he loves you for the first time the way no one ever should. Balls deep, while he's cumming inside you.

It tumbles out, a quiet moan at first, then a louder realization that takes both of you by surprise. His hips slam into your ass once, twice, and then he's filling you up, his admission hanging heavy in the air.

You're almost positive you imagined it until he repeats it again with a little more conviction.

"Fuck. I think I'm in love with you," he pants heavily, his hands intermittently squeezing your waist in time with the heady pulsing of his cock.

There's a beat of silence while you struggle to process his words, torn between the warring sensations of his release leaking down your thighs and shock tugging at your ribcage. He slips out of you as he softens, and once your connection is broken, it hits you like a ton of bricks.

"...What?"

He freezes behind you, and you immediately regret your gut response. That's not what you meant to say at all. Of course, it's not. You're just...confused. You hadn't expected it from him, not when you've only been together for a few months. Part of you wants to wait and see if he takes it back, just in case. But he doesn't.

"If...it's okay, you know. If you don't feel the same, it's okay," he mumbles, folding over you to rest his forehead between your shoulder blades.

His breath is warm and humid against your skin as he peppers soft, lingering kisses down your spine. Strong arms wrap around your waist, clinging to you like this might be his last chance, and suddenly it all feels so real. You've been too quiet for too long and now he's afraid.

You haven't told him yet, but there's no need to be. You just can't figure out how. How can anyone possibly cram the immensity of months of pizza nights on the living room floor watching James and the Giant Peach with Abby, and days off work spent tangled in bed, fucking and fighting and forgiving, into three little words?

You try anyway, but what comes out isn't a response. It's a plea. You don't know what you're asking for—you just know you need him.

"Mike," your voice shakes with it. He holds you tighter, and now there's so little space between you, you can't tell where he ends and you begin.

"You don't have to say it. It's okay, I won't be mad. I just...I need you to say something. Anything," he whispers, his day-old stubble rough and grounding as he speaks.

He nuzzles into you, breathing unevenly—nervously—and you realize he's comforting you. Regardless of what you decide, you're still his first priority.

You find his hand where it rests, splayed across your stomach, and lace your fingers with his. Just say it. Just tell him, say it back. There'll be plenty of time to show him how much you mean it.

Because they're not just words. They're not even a feeling. Love is a promise, and you'll keep it.

Taking a steadying breath, you turn in his arms and pull him down on top of you. It's the first time you've seen his face since he got home and wrestled you onto your hands and knees, all searing touches and deep, frantic thrusts. Since he told you he loves you.

His eyes meet yours, darting from one to the other, desperate for an answer, but yours, instead, follow the freckles across his nose down to the curve of his cupid's bow. There is so, so much to love about Mike Schmidt, and he deserves to know it.

"Of course, I love you," you promise, tilting your chin up so your bottom lip just grazes his top.

His face lights up with an unrestrained smile you see so rarely, the one reserved only for you and Abby on his happiest days. You lean forward to kiss him, softly and open-mouthed, and he inhales sharply, his hands shooting down to your waist.

His grip is a little too tight, and you think maybe he's scared you'll take it back, so you wrap your legs around him to hold him right where he is. Then, the kiss deepens and, when his hands start to roam, you realize what he needs.

Mike has always found solace in you, inside you, whenever he's struggling to express or accept what he's feeling, and right now he's asking for reassurance. Hooking your heels behind his back, you tug his hips into yours, and he groans into your mouth as he slips through his release still dripping from your heat.

He's already hard as a rock and bucking into you as if he didn't fuck you into his mattress less than an hour ago, except this time you can see him. The tension between his brows and in his shoulders visibly loosens, and he exhales a sigh of relief the moment he's buried to the hilt.

Enveloped by your warmth and security, it falls from his lips again, over and over—an increasingly sure declaration as he continuously fills you up and hollows you out.

You repeat it back, and it feels good. It feels so good to love Mike Schmidt.

thanks for reading!

#mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt x you #mike schmidt imagine #mike schmidt smut #mike schmidt #fnaf imagine #fnaf smut #fnaf movie #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #more hidden lore references YEP

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fangirlika · 11 months

Note

yes yes yes !! for a pt2 of learning hours because that was hot. thinking abt the build up to them actually realising their feelings after charles makes her feel good....AHHH

me too bestie, me too… but first of all, thank you for all of your feedback! And to fulfill all of you guys’ wishes, here is part 2 to Learning Hours! I decided against directly connecting it to where we left off in part 1 but I hope you still enjoy reading it <3

Study Break

MASTERLIST

pairing: Charles Leclerc x female!reader

summary: “I wouldn’t want it to ruin our friendship, you know?” “It doesn’t have to.” But oh how wrong you were… part 2 to this.

warnings: nsfw, smut, porn with plot?? who would’ve thought, fluff, bad French, reader and Charles in denial

“You fucked?!”

“Psst, Pierre, say it louder because I think not the entire paddock has heard you…”, Charles grumbled and looked around him slightly to check if anyone was actually close enough to hear them talking.

“Désolé, but how do you want me to react when you tell me that you and Y/n slept with each other?”, Pierre whisper-shouted now with a frown on his face.

Charles only rolled his eyes.

“Je ne sais pas comment c'est arrivé, but it has been happening a little more often these past weeks”, Charles admitted honestly whilst scratching the back of his neck. I don’t know how it happened

Pierre sighed and patted his friend on the back. “Oh, you’re in deep shit, mate.”

In deep shit he was indeed.

It’s been a little more than a month since you and Charles had sex for learning purposes for the first time but it definitely hadn’t been the last time.

After you gave him head he insisted on returning the favour to you immediately.

“Please”, he whispered against your lips, “let me make you feel good.”

You couldn’t turn him down, not then, not any of the times after that.

That day, Charles ate you out like a man starved, something your ex-boyfriend never dared to try out and really, you didn’t know what you missed out on.

Charles indeed made you feel good, he always does, and he probably gave you your most intense orgasm so far with his tongue alone. For the next few days after you couldn’t help but wonder what he could do to you with his dick.

And oh he did show you.

It was safe to say that with one single orgasm he made you feel better than your ex ever did in all of your time together.

After that, it seemed as if you two couldn’t stay away from each other.

Whether you two were at your or his place, whether it was in the evening or in the middle of the day - you almost always ended up as a tangled mess in bed or on the couch even.

But you were friends, that was what you were desperately trying to convince yourself of.

But all effort was without success because whenever Charles smiled at you when you were laying underneath him in bed or when you looked up at him while sucking him off, you couldn’t help but feel the butterflies erupt inside your stomach.

It wasn’t just lust, it was something else as well. Something you were yet too scared to narrow down and confront exactly. You were scared of ruining whatever the two of you had.

You should’ve probably broken up whatever deal you had going on weeks ago but it all also felt far too good to quit.

That is how you found yourself in the current situation, with his dick hot and heavy inside your mouth.

You two had been watching a movie together at his place - which one you didn’t remember, it didn’t really matter from the beginning on because since the first minute of the movie your mind has been on everything Charles did sitting beside you on the couch.

His arm was lazily draped around your shoulders and you were leaning into his side, something the two of you have been doing for years but it seems like now you can’t do this without it becoming heated afterwards.

You were half an hour into the movie before Charles turned your head to face him and pressed his lips to yours.

“I think it’s stupid to keep pretending that either of us is paying attention to the TV…”, he muttered against your lips and you just smiled into the kiss.

No matter how many times you and Charles had made out by now, he never failed to knock the air out of your lungs with how his lips moved against yours and how his tongue danced around your tongue.

“Wanna take this to the bedroom?”, Charles broke the kiss and mumbled. You could only nod your head, still breathless from the kiss, and Charles smiled before he pecked your lips once again and pulled you into his lap. He then stood up with you in his arms and made his way towards his bedroom down the hall.

During that, you started to press wet kisses along his neck and jawline, your lips sucking a little on the spots you knew made his breath stutter.

As absurd as it sounds, the two of you had almost developed a routine on how to get the other one into the mood, something friends certainly do, right?

Charles pushed open the door to his bedroom with his foot and in a matter of seconds he had you underneath him on the edge of his bed, his upper-body hovering above yours. He took a moment to look you in the eyes with a small smile on his lips before he pressed them onto the side of your neck, just like you did to him only mere seconds ago.

You couldn’t help but let out a small moan at the contact.

Your hands fiddled with the hem of his shirt in a silent plead for him to take it off. And he did pull away from your neck to remove his shirt. You used this moment to pull off yours over your head as well, lazily tossing it somewhere on the carpet for you to pick up later - or tomorrow most likely.

Charles' gaze immediately shifted towards your tits. Since you had only been lounging inside the house for most of the day, you decided to not wear a bra. Charles knew that, hell, he was hyper aware of your nipples poking through the thin cotton material of your shirt the entire day.

“I love your tits”, he said and moved both of his hands to knead them softly. You only let out a chuckle at that, followed up by a moan when Charles pinched your right nipple with his fingers.

“L-let me suck you off, yeah?”, you moaned out and Charles audibly let out a groan at your proposal before nodding his head.

God, he loved how forward you were in bed too. When you two started this, he expected you to be a lot more shy and hesitant but he took pride in the fact that you seemed to be so comfortable with him.

Charles' cock was already hard when he pulled down his sweatpants and boxers and stepped out of them, using his foot to push them towards the pile of clothing that started forming on the carpet.

Immediately you sat up, mouth watering at the sight of his cock in front of your face. You licked your right hand before you wrapped it around the base of his cock, observing his reaction thoroughly. You smirked when you saw how he screw his eyes shut at the contact and let out a silent moan, his mouth hanging open a little.

You stroked his cock a few times before you used your tongue to lick up the length of his cock and over the tip. Charles' hand made it’s way to your hair, pushing some loose strands behind your ears, almost lovingly.

Despite the situation starting to get thoroughly filthy, the atmosphere between you was calm and somewhat familiar.

“You feel so good around me, keep going”, he whispered in encouragement and let out another groan as you wrapped your lips around his cock and started to move up and down his length as far as you could.

You looked up at him and your eyes met. Charles could’ve come at the sight alone and therefore decided to gently pull his hips away so that he slipped out of your mouth.

You looked at him confused but he only pushed you back onto the bed by your shoulders. “Wanna come inside you”, he mumbled which made you smile.

“Okay?”, he asked for confirmation and you nodded.

“Yes, please.”

Charles gave you a quick kiss and then made his way down your stomach until he kissed the hem of your panties. One of his fingers pressed agains your clothed clit which earned him a whine from your mouth.

He hooked his fingers into the waistband of your panties before pulling them down and off your legs. You slightly shuddered as your core got exposed to the cooler air of the apartment and the wandering eyes of Charles.

The first time he saw you completely naked, you were still a little nervous but seeing the way he looked at you somehow made all your nervousness vanish.

“Belle”, he whispered and pressed a kiss to your inner thigh. “Please, Charles, get on with it”, you whined which earned you a light slap to your clit. You moaned and bit your lip right after.

Charles was never too rough with you, not wanting to scare you away or hurt you in any way but little things like these - he couldn’t help himself when he got to hear you moan so sweetly afterwards.

“Bossy again?”, he teased when he got up from his sitting position in front of the bed. You only let out a huff at his words and wrapped one of your legs around the back of his to pull him towards you, eager to feel him inside you again.

Charles had already taken his cock into his hand, ready to line himself up with your pussy when an idea came to his mind.

“Ready for another lesson?”, he asked with a smirk.

He probably expected you to nod your head with the same eagerness you displayed before but you couldn’t help but feel a little sting to your heart at his words. They reminded you what this seemingly still was: lessons, only teaching you how to feel good - no feelings involved.

Charles noticed the brief change of your facial expression before you forced up a smile and nodded. He hated to pretend that all this was just for learning purposes, to him it was more than that. And your reaction gave him the small hope that maybe you felt the same.

Nevertheless, he didn’t say anything and just continued with his proposal: “Soo, we have tried some positions by now but one thing we haven’t done yet is your riding me”, he spoke while stroking the soft skin of your inner thigh. “Would you be interested in that?”, he asked with an underlying tone of nervousness in his question.

You clenched your core at the thought of you sitting on his dick and riding him even though you would definitely lie to yourself if you claimed you hadn’t thought of that before.

“Lay down then, Leclerc”, was your response and you gave him a challenging smirk, one he immediately returned.

“Your wish is my command, L/n”, he teased before laying down on the bed and leaning his back against the headboard. You straddled him and moaned when you felt him between your folds.

“Go slow, okay baby?”, he said and put his hands on your hips. You answered him with a nod and sat up slightly before you lined up his cock with your entrance.

You slowly sank down on him which made your rally feel him inch by inch. You held eye contact the entire time and your mouth hung open while his brows were furrowed together to handle the insane feeling that was being inside you again.

When you bottomed out you took a moment to adjust to his size again. In this position you felt even fuller than ever before.

Charles squeezed your hips slightly and asked: “You okay?” You nodded and started to move up and down in his lap slowly but surely.

It only took a few strokes before the dull pain of him inside you vanished and was replaced with the familiar pleasurable feeling you had every time you two had sex.

You started to build a rhythm of moving your hips up and down his length and felt the familiar warmth building up in your core.

“You’re doing so good for me, love”, Charles groaned out and squeezed your hips tighter to keep himself from fucking up into you. He liked you in control but it took a lot of willpower for him to restrain himself from speeding up the rhythm himself.

You kept your rhythm and started to circle your hips slightly as well which caused him to hit that spongy spot inside your core once again and made you moan out his name in pleasure.

“Feels so- so good”, you managed to stutter out. “I’m close”, you moaned out after that and you struggled to keep up the rhythm with your hips.

Charles noticed and finally started meeting your thrusts with his hips pushing upwards and even deeper into you with had you seeing stars in a matter of seconds.

“My god, Charles”, you almost screamed out when you came with trembling legs and clenching your core. The sensation of you coming all over his cock didn’t fail to push him over the edge as well. He continued to fuck up into you during both of your highs but his thrusts began to stutter and became sloppier with each one.

“So good for me”, he repeated and caressed the skin of your hips while he closed his eyes, trying to steady his breathing. You attempted the same but you were unable to keep yourself up anymore and therefore almost fell onto his sweaty chest.

The room felt hot and sticky, just like your skin and the only audible thing were your ragged breaths.

Charles moved his hands to caress your back in small, mindless circles. The action made you smile agains his chest.

The two of you stayed in that moment for a little while before you moved your head up to look him in the eyes.

What you didn’t expect was that he was already looking at you with an expression you still failed to read but one you had seen increasingly more often these past weeks.

You stared at each other with the same loving expression on your face for what felt like an eternity.

“Y/n”, he started but quiet frankly, he didn’t know what to say exactly. Charles generally was a confident guy but you somehow managed to have him at a loss for words most of the times.

“I think we can stop pretending that this is only for learning purposes”, he whispered and internally he was ever so scared of your reaction.

He didn’t know what he expected you to reply. Only in the far back of his mind he allowed himself to believe that he wasn’t alone with that realisation of his feelings.

Your response therefore came as nothing less but a surprise to him. “I don’t like saying it, but you are more than right, Leclerc”, you said with a smirk before you pulled yourself up a little and leaned into his face.

Charles laid one of his hands on your cheek before he flipped the two of you around so that you were laying underneath him again. He wasted no time in kissing you with anything he could give to you, trying to pour all his emotions into the kiss.

“Please be mine”, he mumbled against your lips.

“I’m already yours”, you replied breathlessly.

—————

Ahhh nervous for your reactions but oh please let me know what you think <333 I enjoyed writing this so much and aww I fell in love with Charles and Y/n here

here I’m tagging everyone who asked for a second part in the comments, I hope you don’t mind or else let me know!

@tempo-rary-fix @spicyclover @charlesswife @oscarissacsslut @dakotali @celine-xox @mysticalnightenthusiast @formulas-bitch @basicallyherondale @shyshva @teenagedreams-cl

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #formula 1 imagine #f1 #formula 1 #request #charles leclerc smut #Charles Leclerc smut imagine #charles leclerc x reader smut #leclerc #f1 smut

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so-sures-blog · 3 months

Text

Earthbound

earthbound definition: attached or restricted to the earth.

In which Cole stands up to a tyrant that is cruel and unjust deep within the mountain. Because he made a promise.

🪨 🌋 🖤 🪨 🌋 🖤 🪨 🌋🖤 🪨 🌋 🖤

It doesn’t take a genius to see that Cole’s losing.

The cave is in chaos; the sound of screams and clanging weapons fill the air as two sides clash against each other.

Vangelis and the Skull are toying with him, and he knows it: they’re circling him, trying to throw him off by telling lies about his mother. Cole blocks the hits from Vangelis and the blasts from the Skull, feeling like a fly they were winding up in a web of lies.

Vangelis rises above him, resembling a winged creature of death with his blank mask and the glowing Skull of Hazza D’ur in hand. “And now, her deceit has doomed you!”

“Her only son,” the Skull rasps.

Vangelis hurls the Skull at Cole; growing brighter and brighter the closer it gets. He stands his ground and braces himself.

The Skull collides, and the blades …

… shatter.

Cole is thrown back, the air knocked out of his lungs as his body rolls to a stop. He sits up weakly, before throwing back his mask to gasp at the sight of the broken Blades of Deliverance.

“No!” He cries. With trembling fingers, his gloved hands hold onto the shattered pieces of the black and white blades. “It can’t be …”

His mother … lied …

“It is,” Vangelis glides towards him menacingly. “And now, you will pay the price for your mother’s lies.”

“Lies, deceit,” the Skull rasps.

Cole screams in pain as the Skull unleashes fire upon his fallen form.

“Your cause is lost.”

More fire.

“Have the grace to admit defeat.”

More fire. More, more. Blistering pain wreaks havoc across his broken body.

It’s hopeless. He’s finished. He’s too weak. It’s over. He just wants to —

He remembers his mother.

🪨 🌋 🖤 🪨 🌋 🖤 🪨 🌋🖤 🪨 🌋 🖤

“I want you to promise me, Cole. That you will always stand up to those who are cruel and unjust. Always.”

“Always.”

🪨 🌋 🖤 🪨 🌋 🖤 🪨 🌋🖤 🪨 🌋 🖤

His mother … her strength hadn’t come from the Blades of Deliverance. She’s always been strong. She had been sick all his life, yet no matter how weak her body had gotten she had moved through her life with implacable momentum. Impossible to sway or dissuade. Ever since he was young, his mom had power — from her beliefs … and from the Earth.

“It was her,” he realizes. “It wasn't the blades. It was her. The power inside my mother.” The power inside of me, his heart whispers. Not the Spinjitzu Burst. The power of Earth.

“It was all her.”

“Alas,” Vangelis laughs cruelly. “You are not half the warrior your mother was.”

Pain and grief bite through his being, but Cole forces himself to his feet to glare at the Skull Sorcerer. “Maybe not, but I am her son.” Conviction buries itself deep into his being. “And I made her a promise to stand up to tyrants like you! Always!”

The mountain rumbles its agreement. Cole digs his fingers into the rock and feels it mold around the shape of them. Every grain of earth begins to glow as his power seeps into it.

“What are you doing? What is this!” The Skull Sorcerer demands.

“It's the Burst!” He barely hears Master Wu cry above his roaring element.

But no. It's not, and Cole can feel it. It's something different. Deeper.

His power was strongest when he was the closest to the earth and he’s never been farther underground. He was basically at the bottom of the world. Never has he been more surrounded by the very thing that powered him. The Skull Sorcerer thought he was burying him — but what if bringing him closer to his full strength? To the source of his elemental power?

Cole could feel it — the connection to the earth. He could feel it reaching out towards him, coming from the ground all around him.

He stands and lets it in. He let the energy of the earth infuse him, deep into his core and surging forward. The Skull of Hazza D’ur comes flying forward to finish him off and Cole bursts to life.

Unparalleled power explodes from the earth, bright and blinding, and Cole feels more alive than ever. His skin disappears, being replaced with magma and rock as the mountain quakes under his force.

The battle halts as everyone stops at the sheer force of the Earth; Ninja gape in shock, the Shintarians fly back in fear, the cave-dwellers stare with awe.

“Son of Lilly,” the Geckle and Munce whisper.

Cole rises with the power of the Earth; the Skull spiraling, lost, as he reaches for it with a molten hand and throws it down against the Earth. Destroying it.

The battle — one that had been reigning in secret for decades — is finally over.

🪨 🌋 🖤 🪨 🌋 🖤 🪨 🌋🖤 🪨 🌋 🖤

Vania dips her head as the last servant that has finished attending her and shuts the door.

She takes a deep breath, listening to the fading footsteps of the servant and the guards clanking armor move away.

Then she springs into action.

She quickly changes, flying out of her normal, queenly wardrobe into more plain, neutral robes. She glances at Chompy, who’s watching her from his bed. She touches the dragon’s head.

“I’ll be back before morning — promise,” she whispers. He makes a chattering noise, telling her he’s displeased. “I know! I will, I promise. I just …” she bites her lip. “I just can’t leave him alone down there.”

Maybe Chompy can hear the pain in her voice, because he doesn’t argue — simply pushes his head into her hand with a small chur of forgiveness.

Vania pushes past the grief and stands, lighting a candle before leaving. She sneaks through her own palace silently, moving past guards like a ninja as she heads for the gardens.

She makes her way to the entrance of the garden alcove leading into the mountain, her heart steadily beating harder. The caves beneath the mountain were deserted, with the Geckle and Munce people deciding that they wanted to live their new lives above the mountain.

She scurries down; down and down the winding mountain, past cramped caverns and twisting turns, the cloying darkness only fought off by a single flame.

Finally she reaches it.

The Heart of the Mountain.

The legendary temple for the Masters of Earth. Ancient scriptures written in the Old Tongue read: Let pass through here, into this refuge and sanctuary, only those who are One with the Earth. Orange flames danced off the walls, even though no one had been down here to light them. Power shined through the giant doorway as Vania drew nearer.

Creak …

The door opened slightly.

Vania went inside, following the carved path molded by Geckle and Munce. Statues of ancient Earth Masters and their stories echoes around her, and she ignores the familiar goosebumps that rise along her skin. Her eyes linger on the statue of Lilly, before moving on.

Statues are more than solid pieces of art. They are immovable, unbreakable monuments that enrich storytelling, making the experience of living more profound and unforgettable. They remind us of the strength of traditions, the power of history, and the enduring spirit that echoes throughout the ages.

She draws closer to the one standing in the middle, heart beating loudly in her chest. It's tall and strong, newly carved. Awake and glowing with the surging elemental energy. She reads the plaque in front of it.

This statue was carved with love and gratitude by Geckle, Munce, and Shintarian craftsmen in honor of Cole Brookstone: Ninja, brother, and son.

Vania places the candle on the stone ledge and takes a seat on it, facing away from the statue. It feels like yesterday she was trapped in here with the Upply and Master Wu, trying to figure out a way to stop her father. She forces the memories away when she feels the mountain move.

“Hello, Cole,” she says softly. The Earth rumbles under her feet, before slowly forming and making a vague shape of the person she used to know. Orange light shines through the cracks of rock as he peers at her curiously, waiting.

Vania smiles.

“So, what story would you like to hear today?”

#ninjago #ninjago fic #ninjago au #master of the mountain #seabound au #cole brookstone #ninjago vania #skull sorcerer #ninjago wu #kai smith #jay walker #zane julien #lloyd garmadon #nya smith

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cherry-leclerc · 2 months

Text

method acting ☆ cl16

genre: series - humor, strangers to friends/roommates, fluff, smut, denial of feelings

word count: 4.6k

nsfw warning under the cut!

18+...f!receiving, fingering, dry humping

cherry here!... seeing as we're basically at the end, i will go ahead and say that this series has been based off of Roman Holiday! c'mon now guyssss - enjoy the spiciness ;)

ch. one ch. two ch. three ch. four ch. five ch. six

Chapter 4

Life, as you fear, is falling apart as you're confronted with a serious case of writer's block that puts your career on the line. As a solution, you're roommate helps you plan a solo trip to the Amalfi Coast for a much needed break but it doesn't take long for you to meet a certain Monegasque who lays passed out on the beach.

If there was a reasonable explanation of a frog finding a home deep inside your throat, then you would somehow understand because at this moment, it sure felt like it. Charles doesn’t do much apart from blinking at an extremely slow pace. You knew that day that you should have turned the other way, but like always, your curious mannerism won. Here were the consequences and now you had to deal with them. Your lips part, ready to aim meaningless excuses but instead release a shaky breath, finding it hard to make eye contact with his soft orbs.

“How did you find out?”

A stupid question, you knew that, but there wasn’t much to say. It was motifying enough now that you knew, he knew. “You remember how I always beg you to wash your hand every time you finish eating those little chocolates you like?” His lips curl. “You must have forgotten to do so the night before.”

Heat rushes all throughout your body as you come to a halt. His accent emerges with no trace of anger, but rather embarrassment of his own. Shame. Noticing you’ve stopped, he turns back to face you, only a few steps marking a distance between you two. “I don’t know what else to say other than sorry.” A sudden urgency zaps through your veins as you walk closer to him, broken cobblestones rubbing against your shoes. “That was something private and I crossed the line, Charles. Y-you don’t understand how sorry I am.”

A lazy shrug is all you receive from him as he sheepishly smiles though there’s a downcast to the act. “You don’t need to apologize. I should.” His words make you blink with confusion. No you don’t. Green eyes flicker onto the pavement before connecting back to your dreadful ones. “No, I do. I haven’t been honest.”

He visibly gulps, strong Adam’s Apple dancing its way up and down. “I’m sure you know by now. Considering you read it.” Sharp nose twitches, fingers drumming against his thigh. “But I want to hear it from you.”

Further heat rises as you furrow your brows. “What do you want me to say?”

“The truth. From what you read in between those pages, who am I to you?”

Flashes of his messy handwriting scribble its way into your fuzzy brain. Entries where he would talk about the hydraulics, whatever that meant, to depressive episodes he tries perfecting to keep out of sight. It’s sweet, raw, funny, and you ruined it for him.

“You’re just Charles. A man who enjoys spending his time playing piano, even if he can’t curve his fingers in time to hit the right notes. The one who proceeds to chuck an apple at…” You nibble on your lips, mind digging into the deepest delves as you try to remember. “Joris’ head?”

Pink blush feathers onto his cheeks as he bites his tongue. “You read that?”

A soft giggle erupts. “It was pretty entertaining.” He chuckles, but there is evidence that he was pleased by your answer. You find yourself wanting to continue. “A brunette who likes to tease a city girl when it comes to the amount of sweets she eats.” A lot, he snickers as you bite the air. “Someone who cares enough to take me on walks when I need it to calm down. Even if I don’t know it myself.” A pause. “You’re not some snotty F1 driver who brags out to the rest of the world how rich and famous he is. You’re clumsy, hilarious at an unhealthy amount that makes me think I can form a six pack without ever stepping foot in the gym, and you’re the kindest man I’ve ever met.”

Charles’ heart does an unfamiliar dip as he takes in your breathless state, as if someone’s just saved you from drowning. His feelings lunge towards you as he feels your genuine honestly. You weren’t just telling him what you thought he needed to hear, no, you were spilling it all out as if it were the easiest thing you’ve done in your entire life.

He feels stupid for keeping this from you, thinking you would betray him in some sick and twisted way. That you would think differently - treat him differently - if you knew how many zero’s took place in his net worth. How could he have ever doubted you?

Suddenly your eyes shine a little brighter, as if that were possible. Your lips blossomed into the prettiest shade of pink as you sheepishly smiled back at him. Your aroma quickly becomes his favorite scent in the world and he wishes for nothing more than for you to look at him the exact same way he looked at you.

“I’m really glad we met.”

Your smile widens. “Lo stesso qui.”

The opportunity had presented itself, landed right in the palm of your hand. The universe gave you a chance…and you blew it. Your initial thought was that you, too, would come clean, but as soon as he started moving his lips and opening up to a level you never imagined you would ever reach, you pushed it further into the back of your mind. And now days have passed and it was just weird and awful that you never mentioned it in the first place.

Times like these, you wish you had your cheerful friend to tell you what to do. Dialing her number, you patiently wait for her to pick up. Hello? The taste of home makes your heart warm as you beam. “Amelia, it's me.” A loud pitched scream flies into your ear as you pull your phone away. “I’m aware I’m missable, but there’s not need for you to-”

“I’m engaged!”

Your jaw drops, clumsy fingers navigating to press on FaceTime. The blond answers straight away, stunning diamond already being shown off as you gasp. “You’re fucking shitting me? Amelia Thompson! You’re about to be locked down for life.”

Your friend happily shrugs before hopping up and down. “This is cra- insane. This is insane. Isn’t it insane?” It’s actually very sane if you ask me. You two are meant for one another. Two peas in a pod. Her smile widens as she scrunches her nose in a playful manner. “I mean I just thought this wouldn’t happen for another year or so, but then he took me to that little park we love to go on Sunday’s and then a bird attacked him and th-”

“Back up, a bird attacked Roman?”

“Oh yeah,” she firmly states, red lips pursed as if to refrain from releasing a loud laugh. “It was a whole thing…”

Sitting there and listening to Amelia rant all the while Roman smiles as if he’s never seen a better encounter in his entire life, it suddenly hits you. Pangs your heavy chest. You were happy for the couple, over the moon, but you couldn’t help but mourn the end of an era. It only seems as if a few years ago you two were tugging heavy suitcases into your empty apartment. It would only be so long before she eventually moves out, leaving you alone. And it's not just that, but now you realize how lonely you’ve been these past few years since all you’ve ever done is dedicate your heart and soul into proving to be something you desperately wanted to be.

“Helloooo?”

Snapping out of your self pity, you blink rapidly. “Sorry.” You release a content sigh, swooning as you nuzzle your head into the crook of your elbow as you press your face against the fancy marble. “I’m so happy for you both, really.” But? “But I’m jealous Roman gets to keep my roommate. I was here first.”

Amelia giggles. “You’ll forever be my favorite roomie. Plus, Roman kicks in his sleep so it's only a matter of time before I hit him with the divorce.”

It’s only after you two hang up that you realize you still hold everything inside your chest. Sighing, you make your way out to the terrace, hoping to find some peace and tranquility. Instead you find the Monegasque blaring rock music as he does yoga. 25/50 of what you were looking for.

“Does this actually help you relax?”

Like a cat jumping out of its skin, Charles yelps as he hears your voice. He clutches his chest. “Does that answer your question?” The corners of your lips turn upward. He squinted at you, head pointing towards the house. “Good news?”

“Very. Amelia and Roman are getting married.”

His lips stretch into a sincere smile as he stands up straight. “That’s great.” Nodding, you tug your own mat as you begin to stretch. His stomach flips at the simple act.

“She deserves it. They both do.”

Even as the music blares at an alarming rate that should have you worried for your hearing, you don’t move an inch and neither does he. With slight hesitance, the brunette licks his lips. “And how are you feeling?” You blink, suddenly losing balance as you plant your bare feet. Me? He nods. “You have feelings too, right?”

“I mean, do I really have the right to say anything else other than I’m glad my friends are finally tying the knot?” Floppy curls fling forward as he pretends to nudge your shoulder with it. You bite back a grin before you twirl into a soft frown. “I’m a bit sad.” A small click coming from him is enough for you to continue. “I guess I’m just not used to being alone. Amelia has been with me for as long as I can remember.”

“And she’ll always be there, you know? Only now, she’ll have a different last name and shiny ring.”

You roll your eyes. “What I mean is that it's starting to hit me. How far I’ve fallen behind in the dating category. All those times I’ve been asked out, I pushed them all away because I either had too much work or wanted to spend time with my friends. Now they’re getting married and I’m just kind of…here. I wish I knew what I was turning down.”

The Monegasque lets out a light whistle, fingers snapping as he stares off into the distance. “I would like to pretend that I don’t know what you mean, but I do. Racing is everything to me - it’s what makes me happy - but that won’t always be there. It's a scary thought to have, I know, but that's the way the world works. We need to grow up even after we’ve grown up. It’s a thing that continues for a lifetime and ends with death.”

Your eyes widen with alarm as you gasp at his gloomy perspective. What if you were still wasting time? For sure you still were, but what were you doing with your life? You’re just a broke girl who forms relationships with people you love to spend time with only to use their words for your benefit. A dark chuckle roars from your roommate as he quirks his head. Don’t get too freaked out. “Don’t scare me then.”

Charles shrugs nonchalantly. “You’ll meet someone soon. Someone who will love you as much as you love your piles of junk food.” You aim a sour scowl. He snickers, but continues. “And you’ll realize that all the worrying was for nothing.” The soft sound of waves crashing fills the silence. “But please invite me to the wedding.”

There’s a soft glow to you when you let out a bittersweet smile. “You promise you would go?”

“I thought I made that clear when I said I would go wherever you are.”

Your breath hitches, a gust of wind nearly knocking you down just as efficiently to his meaningful words. Forcing yourself to look away, you press your lips into a fine line, head bobbing in understandment. He shifts. “Teach me a few poses?” you ask, signaling to the mat.

Let me taste your silhouette. You can talk between my legs.

“Oh um,” he stutters, red painting his entire face, briskly reaching to turn the music down. You suppress a giggle as you stare back blankly, lips occasionally wobbling, threatening to let out a teasing smile. “I-I-I don’t usually hear music like this. I m-mean - I do - but…it helps me relax.”

Giving up, your lips stretch, eyes crinkling with amusement. “You get more interesting day by day, Charles Leclerc.”

It’s now Monday and you still haven’t met your word count. It should be easy, you have lots of useful information, but every single time your fingers glaze over the mocking letters, you only think about how terrible of a friend this all makes you. And it’s as if Eleanor knows your lack of work, lengthy emails entering your inbox with daily reminders about your due date. It doesn’t help either that the green eyed boy keeps reminding you about the last two weeks you two have together.

“I’ve just gotten so used to you,” he pronounces as he cuts up fresh peaches. “It’s going to feel wrong not seeing you often.”

Your fingers come to a halt. “Let’s just not think about it. How about a round of Truth or Dare?” You wiggle your brows. “Game?”

“Game.”

“Truth or Dare?” Dare, he eagerly spits out, anticipation evident. “Okay. What does the golden pin actually stand for?”

He scrunches a teasing brow. “You really thought this one through - used your brain. I’m impressed.” You hiss, pen barely missing his head. He cackles nonetheless at your childish behavior. “It’s sort of the same thing as I told you that day. He did say to go retrieve it when I got a Ferrari.”

Now it’s your turn to bunch your neat brows. “But you already own a Ferrari.” A slow smirk paints your lips. “Oh! You want to brag!”

“No,” he scolds. “Would you let me finish?” Relaxing against the pillows, you nod. “When I got a Ferrari championship. Only then could go get this mysterious horse. I think he thought I could do it.”

Your heart twists as you note his wretched smile. “Do you think you can?”

He sighs. “I’m actually not sure. Y’know when I first joined the team, I really thought I could. I mean, everyone around me was telling me how great I was, how my long contract must have meant I was extremely worthy. Now all I get are pity stares. High expectations that have me second guessing everything.” He turns to you. “But then the church was about to be demolished, so I had to go get it regardless.”

Licking your dry lips, you nibble before releasing. “I know you can do it. He might not be here to let you know anymore, but I am. And I know you can.” A beat. “Is that why you gave it to me?”

The brunette winces before tilting his head. “I don’t deserve it.”

In a single movement, you hurriedly crawl over to him as you slap him. Suddenly he’s on high alert as he grabs his cheek in pain. What the fuck? You smile sheepishly. “Don’t you dare say shit like that, Charles Leclerc. You have to believe in yourself the same way you did when you were a kid…I’m keeping the pin.”

His gaze darkens. “Oh, so you don’t believe I’m going to ever get a Championship either?”

“Don’t be stupid. I know you will, but I’ll take care of it for you. That way you have something to work for. I’ll be your temple,” you offer as he quirks a brow.

“My temple?”

You hum. “They’re knocking down the other, so I’ll take over. And I’m just letting you know right now that I’m not giving it up that easily. You have to work really fucking hard.”

Charles’ pulse speeds at your determination and belief, so much so, that a certain kind of pride that had left him long ago returned. He could do this, he could win. He would win. Even if it killed him. An unknown flicker strikes his green eyes as your stomach churns.

“You’re not like the others I’ve met…” He grabs your hand, making you flinch in surprise. “I’m going to do it. For you.”

It’s as if he stole your breath away as you struggle to regain your composure. “...And for him.” His grin never once melts away as he squints a shy eye, lashes fluttering. That was implied, too. You’re the first to pull away as you purse your lips. “Your turn. I pick Dare.”

The Monegasque coughs. “I dare you to tell me a secret.”

Your smile falters. “Don’t you think you have to work for it? I can’t just give it up like that.” Shaking your head and crossing your arms, you pout.

“Oh, come on! It could be any. Your pick.”

“How generous,” you murmur. “I dented your car.”

He gapes, eyes zigzagging as he forces a smile. “No, you said it was a little boy who kicked a soccer ball.”

You wince. “I was trying to back out of the driveway to go get us some donuts and I wasn’t looking and next thing I knew…” You’re rambling for sure. “It’s not that bad?”

Charles groans. “I told off the first little kid who passed by with a soccer ball, thank you for that.”

You shriek. “Liar! No! What did you say?”

A smirk slithers onto his face. “I’m totally kidding, I knew it was you.”

“But-”

“I heard when it happened - it’s what woke me up in the first place. I stood up to check and saw you driving away.”

“I’m sorry,” you chirp. “You shouldn’t have left the key out like that for me to grab! So if you really think about it, it’s kind of your fault.”

“Of course it is,” he pressed with amusement. “I forgive pretty easily, so I’ll let you off the hook.” Your palms sweat with uneasiness. “Your turn. I pick Truth.”

It’s as if you’ve suddenly become extremely dehydrated as you blink back blankly. “Got a crush on anyone back home?”

“Skip.”

This gets you curious as you arch your brow. The Monegasque goes to extreme lengths to avoid eye contact. “You have to answer, that’s not how the game works. I promise I won’t tease.”

Long fingers drum against his lap as he whips his head, shaggy hair brushing along his face. “Maybe so, but I’m using my free pass.”

You let out a heavy heave. “What are you talking about?”

“Remember I gave you a free pass when we first played Truth or Dare by the shore and I said I would only let you skip if I got one of those in return? Okay, well, I’m using it now.”

“Wha- that’s not fair! That was so long ago, it doesn’t even count.”

He chuckles. “Yes it does.”

With a sour expression, you huff and cross your arms. “Fine. I don’t want to play anymore.”

“You’re choice.”

The remainder of the day was spent with you locked away and Charles on a business call. Now that you knew what he was hiding, it was easier for him to get some work done. Either way, it worked out because before you knew it, you were nearly done. And he was clearly bothered.

“Looks like someone chewed your ear off.”

The Monegasque cringes at the brutal image as he sighs. “Do we have any more ice cream?”

“Nope. Finished it last night.” Analyzing his tense shoulders, you step closer to him as you tilt your head. “It won’t help you get over whatever’s on your mind, though. Want to talk about it?”

He extends his long legs underneath the table, head rolling back as he groans. You shiver, a pool forming in between your legs at the sight. Your body’s reaction feels filthy as you shake your thoughts away. “I was on the phone with my manager. They signed the contract. They actually did it.” He squeezes his eyes in disbelief.

“What contract?”

The brunette finally opened his green orbs, annoyance circling them. “Looks like I’m getting a new partner.”

This comes as a complete shock to you as you make your way to an open chair. “When? Who?”

“Starting 2025. Lewis Hamilton.” Kicking an empty chair away, he grunts. “Oh my God, and here I was thinking I had a chance…” He laughs hysterically. “A chance.”

Seeing him so distraught made your stomach hurt as you shook your head along with him. “I don’t see how this is a bad thing…change is good, no?”

A soft chuckles flies past him as he angles his head to catch your puppy lost state. “First of all, I really enjoyed having Carlos as a teammate. We worked well together. Second of all, compare me - a twenty six year old with five wins in his entire career - to a seven time World Champion.” His shoulders droop. “Who do you think is going to get all the attention and support from the team?”

Your lips part, then snap back shut. He smiles, already shrugging it all off. “It was doomed from the start, I don’t know why I’m so surprised.” Loopy eyes hug your sympathetic ones. “I just don’t want to let you down.”

Frowning hard, you tsk your tongue. “I have a feeling it’s impossible for you to do that. You’ve got this, have a little faith.” Slipping away from your seat, you stand next to his exhausted state, where his body continues to hang like a wet dog. “Will it be easy? No, probably not. But the best things take work. It makes it worth it all at the very end. You’ll see, Charles.”

“How is it that you have so much hope in me?” he whispered meekly, face slightly pale.

Brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, you raise your shoulders high. “Because I’m a firm believer that you will accomplish yours and your father’s dream. And I know what you’re feeling, I’ve been on that same boat before, I’m quite familiar.” I sort of still am, you conscious barks back.

For a moment, he lays still, green eyes taking you in, low breaths. Everything about this situation made you feel like a kettle, ready to cry out. There was something so intimate and raw with the way he was looking at you. As if you hung the stars up for him. You’ve never been one to stick around, so it came as no surprise to tear your gaze away, wobbly feet stepping back. “Just don’t-”

His hands are slightly slippery from his palms sweating. His chest is freakishly warm from his blood pumping. And his cock was most definitely hard.

Shifting on top of his lap, you giggle nervously as you try to avoid the lust in his eyes. And the heat in the pit of your stomach. “No, we said…” You furrow your brows. “This is wei-”

“No, you said that. I only played along.”

Inhaling sharply, you shake your head, hair practically whipping his face as he smiles gingerly. “You said the kiss was weird! I said the kiss was weird - we agreed.”

It’s his turn to narrow his eyes at you, large hands gripping your waist, keeping you from running away. “The situation was weird, but I’ve never felt a pair of lips feel so right against mine.” Long fingers trace your bare thigh. “I know you feel it too.”

“Your boner, yes, how could I not?” you hiss, face burning crimson red. “You’re going to ruin it-”

“No I won’t.”

“You’re going to regret it-”

His gaze darkens. “The only thing I’ve regretted so far is not telling you how I feel about you and not having kissed you the way I wanted to.” Green eyes soften up, almost pleading you. “Fuck. I need to - you don’t get it, I need to kiss you, amore. I swear to God if you say no, I might lose my mind.”

Your head begins to spin as you balance your hands on his broad shoulder. Behind your better judgment, you know you shouldn’t. This would only make things worse because you know the moment you lock lips with him and he finds out what you’ve done, how long you’ve lied, he’ll be so disgusted by you completely.

But like always, you push that all aside.

You basically pounce on him as you smash your lips to his. It was hot, it was heavy, you could feel his teeth clash with yours, his tongue sliding inside your warm mouth. He grunts deeply, pushing your hips down on him as you gasp. Arousal drips past your silky legs, already forming a wet patch against his denim jeans. Charles groans loudly at the feeling. Whimpering, you tangle a clumsy hand through his messy hair.

“You’re telling me this is ‘weird’ to you?” he teases against your pouty lips, pants entering your mouth as you whine like a kid at the dentist.

“You’re insufferable.”

“You won’t be saying that in a few minutes.”

Swiftly, he stands up, setting you down on his chair. You’re confused with his actions as you desperately try reaching out for him. He lets out a dark chuckle. Then, he’s kneeling down in front of you, bringing the chair closer to him. Oh God. The sound of the wooden chair squeaking is enough for you to snap out of it and blink rapidly, as if this were all a dream. He grins wickedly.

A beautiful fucking dream.

Shivering at the feeling of his calloused digits, you bring your brows together. He plays with the hem of your dress for a few seconds before sliding it up, cock growing harder at the sight of your red panties. “These dresses have been driving me crazy from the moment I met you.” He presses a sloppy kiss against your clothed center. “So pretty…”

“Charles…”

He cuts you off the moment he slides the thin material to the side, tip of his fingers rubbing your wet lips. Moaning, you instinctively drape your legs over his massive shoulders. With your entire strength, you try bringing his face closer to where you need him. He lets out a loud laugh.

“You really think you can push me down onto you?” He signals like a know-it-all. “Neck strength, baby, neck strength.”

“I don’t care if you’re a racing driver and that’s your entire exercise agenda, do something.”

That’s the only green flag he needs to dive in, sliding his tongue like an animal. Arching your back against the chair, one hand finds a home in his brown lock and the other grips around the armrest. Dizzy with his fast movements, you squeal when he sucks hard against your clit.

“You’re crazy,” you manage to pant before clenching around his digits that have now entered the equation. And he just curls them so deliciously inside on you that you begin to worry you might finish against his handsome face.

Pulling away, he looks up at you through dark lashes, a sly expression evident. “And you’re irresistible, perfect…” He growls when your hole tightens around his fingers, how your juices pour out. He can’t help but lick you clean, sighing against your thigh. “Simply perfect.”

It’s a haze and you barely have room to breathe, much less give him a fair warning, because suddenly your white nectar takes over and hits him all at once. You’re moaning loudly, he’s groaning as he slurps needily. It was just all too much.

And you didn’t deserve any of it.

Your chest rises up and down as you struggle to breath regularly again. It helps when he traces shapes around your legs, hot breaths of his own hugging your humid skin. His eyes take in your state as he looks up at you with complete defeat.

“How am I supposed to stay away from you, ange?”

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anantaru · 1 year

Text

𝐈𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐘

tighnari loves whenever you settle on his lap while he‘s eagerly working on his research papers.

୨୧ WORD COUNT: 2.1k

୨୧ WARNINGS: .n.sfw, fem! reader, c.warming, making a mess, he‘s a lil tease as we all know by now

"t-tighnari."

you mewl out weakly, an absolute panting mess with a desiring flaming glare in your glassy eyes.

how long has it been since you've settled on his lap? bare and naked with only your shirt loosely hanging around your shoulders. Directly he had adjusted you over his tip, gathering himself into your sweet embrace.

tighnari wanted to feel it all. every brief kiss, momentary touch and each transient tap of your skin on his own. "it's too much." you push back against his chest but he kept you still without much power involved.

"what's the matter?" he sighs innocently while lowering his gaze to where your bodies connected. Damn him and his taunting nature, you've been stuffed of his cock for archon knows how long and he still did not move, one inch, not even now.

each rill could be perceived by your sensitive walls, the light curve of his manhood easily dug itself into a mushy place inside your cunt, nudging and prodding at the pulsating spots.

at the realization of the growing frustration dwindling inside and out of your quivering skin, he lightly parted his lips before swaddling one arm around your hips, tugging you to him.

he smells of earthy tones, flowers and clean clothes, mixed together with a sharpened musky scent that was weakly interlinked over his skin.

"do i need to teach you basic manners now? you can see i'm *still* occupied with my research."

you feel his slender hand dig into your disheveled, half opened shirt, delving your pussy more intensely against his stiffened member.

at this, he looks untouchable, fully in control of the situation the both of you had found yourself in. He's not innocent, you see a side of him no one else does and tighnari made sure to flash it out to its fullest extent.

to gather yourself close to him, you firmly sheathed your arms around his neck before speaking up, "I'll behave." a promise you should keep, "b-but please hurry up!" because who knows what he'll do if you mess it up once again and disturb his work.

"you promise?" his words came out in a silent tone, hazy and rolling off slowly, his warm breathing was coating your jawline before he playfully nibbled on the skin, his cloudy, darkened eyes closing for a fleeting second to indulge in your beauty.

"i pr-promise." you pressed your body onto him more as he could feel your breasts squeezed against his clothed chest, your erected nipples brushing over the rough materials when his tail shuddered at the sensual touch, setting his loins on fire.

a slight friction, just one, had you hiss back a silent moan as tighnari began to go back to his usual duty— trying to that is, lazily resting his head on your dampened neck and gathering his research papers with one hand while his other kept you still.

well, the predicament you found yourself in surely had you struggle when you delved your hands over his back, somehow trying to urge your boyfriend to touch you already.

the liquid fire in your veins poured through the entirety of your body as your stomach grew heavy with a deep knot in the pits of it all. There wasn't a possible way for you to stay calm or not move an inch when his tip was remotely hitting your shaking bundles like that, punctuated and forceful.

it becomes increasingly hard to keep playing his game, more so as you noticed your essence pooling out of your parted hole, slicking him up. You brushed away the bangs that loosely hung around his face, skimming through his hair as his ears lightly twitched at the mere, brief touch of you.

you're convulsing at the messy state, how sticky it had gotten in between your bodies made it far more difficult now to not voice anything at all. Your shallow breathing tickles the backside of his neck, coaxing out a broken hum with his tiny hairs sticking up.

"just a bit more." he's confident in his words, urging you to keep your cool, tighnari was barely faced by what was happening right now. Of course, you did not tell him that you couldn't wait any longer, who knows what he'll do if you decided to spit it out.

additionally, you now slightly lost the grab on yourself and your drenched hole was clenching down involuntarily, curling into him.

"a-ah wait." he suddenly spoke, breath hitching, his hand digging you back down before he could even finish his sentence, dropping his work for a short instance before averting his attention back to you. "f-fuck, don't do that."

it's a sound you didn't expect he'd make, not so fast at least. His brown greenish eyes were fixated on you now, the desperation in them difficult to ignore.

fuck, tighnari cursed himself underneath his warm, heavy breathing, the combination of your soaked pussy engulfing him and suddenly clamping down divulged new heights of awareness in his already extremely delicate senses.

"it wasn't on purpose." you panic, flinching a little when he retracted his body a bit further into the chair in which he accidentally bottomed out, completely catching you off guard.

eyes sprang open as your stuffed cunt ground down a little, mewling out crying as tighnari forcefully placed each hand on your hips to shush your movements.

but it was far more arduous now, impossible, you started pushing his boundaries with your small antics, shoving him towards the edge of pure bliss and he knows he shouldn't, he knows he should finish his work and make you a drooling, pathetic mess before he'd fuck your brains out.

the thrill of it was the worst, to see your breasts squished against him and your neutral body scent filling his nostrils, or how you clenched down at every breath he took, tensing down and letting go, tensing again, fluttering your hole on his girth with his ears twitching once more.

so gentle yet sweet, he dwindles back to suddenly capture your lips, pressing you close to taste your mouth. You're feeling glued to him, whimpering when he began to easily roll you back and forth. "fuck, y-you feel so good."

the admittance of it was all you craved to leave his throat, moaning into his lips as you let him use you, his dick soaked with your arousal and making it easy to slip in and out.

"tighnari-" your lips opened with a strangled moan, "i need you to fuck me."

in the first instance, tighnari went low, slow and featherlight, his work load since long forgotten, he could dedicate to it later, it was futile to force himself now since he wouldn't be fully there with his mind.

his hands were tightly holding onto your skin and eagerly squeezing the flesh in his palms, a smirk curving on the sides of his mouth, his dangerous glare had a desiring shadow surrounding them.

"now now?" peppering your jaw with tiny kisses, he continued, "you really want that?"

you held onto him before deciding to slightly raise your hips, signaling him in other ways than using words and adding onto the chorus of sweet euphoria. Plunging him into you, inch by inch, while noticing how much he too, was enjoying this right now.

with the way it was going, his member was thoroughly splatted with your white, sweet slick as you milked him dry, fat drops of his pre cum smearing down both on your hole and around your puffy folds, sticking together.

he was desperately pulling you up and down in an even pace, doing most the work and groaning when you sought after his lips again, languidly running your tongue over his mouth before capturing them in a starving manner.

tighnari was bottoming out of you like he's addicted and thirsty, in heat, rolling and hammering his cock into the mushy flesh, his moaning turning you giddy and hot when it ghosted over your sweat covered face.

"k-keep taking me like that." he's whimpering on you, almost commanding that he can become once he's especially riled up, "you're so warm."

he's painfully throbbing within your walls, the sloppy noises only eliciting the thick tension surrounding your soaked skin, rubbing his cock head into the deepest parts of your pussy.

at his words alone you could cum undone, the yearning expression on his eyes stuck to you, stretching you wide, his thoughts were truly messy and fucked out now, expressing no bounds.

not knowing what to do other than hold onto him for the life of you, you were chasing your hot climax building in your tightening stomach, pulsing on his cock while you embarrassingly moaned his name, bubbling out filthy words to show your gratitude and love.

"i'm so close- please." your thighs were straining, it hurt and you didn't know how long you could stay in that position, forcefully making tighnari look at you with your eyes bristling warm tears, splattering the wetness on both your lashes and cheeks.

"w-where do you want me?" he's jerking his hips up and using you as his personal cocksleeve, once, twice, endlessly as he panted through each of his words, "inside, c-cum inside please."

your sobbing turned messily, sniffing and crying out when he abruptly gathered newfound strength on your core, every slick noise releasing the tension in your heat.

he is relentless when he fucks you, when he claims and occupies your inner being, grazing over your delicate insides with his tip, his balls so tight and hard ready to be emptied, milked by your sloppy cunt.

He wanted to find himself deeper and split your thighs further apart, not that it was possible to somehow spread your legs more, you were already at your limit.

each thrust from downwards sent you spiraling, the ringing in your ears taking a hold of your thoughts, like a terrifying virus gnawing on its host, vibrating through your pulsing veins.

with the last couple of drags, you pressed your hips forward and squeezed hard, tighnari shuddered at your bold move and his body tensed at the tight euphoria he was experiencing once you climaxed on him.

his hips were violently stuttering, shallow breathing on your skin when you clamped down fully, crying out and moaning, your slick covering his entire length but he did not stop and fucked you through your intense orgasm, gifting you with overstimulation that had your vision switched to white.

something different, name it a carnal desire, soon awakened in him, in a fleeting moment, as he unraveled, the thick rope in his stomach abruptly snapping in two, messily spilling all his toe curling load into you.

tighnari was smiling against your shoulder and kept going, groaning through a clenched jaw, his hips stuttering and vibrating when he couldn't stop pumping his sticky cum in you, smearing it over your velvety insides when you whimpered and cried at the feeling of a warm sensation capturing you.

his tail was twitching and so were his ears, those two traits in particular always making sure to show you how much he had enjoyed this, how much glee he felt in greedily stuffing your precious cunt.

"aah- fuck." a whiny noise hit your ears, his words were breaking onto each other, "fuck- fuck!" he's sobbing uncontrollably, still pressing you down on his cock and you whimpered, you were so sensitive and shaky, your legs were all the more spent and tired out, feeling numb.

he came a lot, so much it wasn't able to fit all into you and it gradually dribbled out of your loosened hole, pooling down his emptied balls and drenching the cold, wooden floor.

it wasn't easy to articulate and form any sentences by how hard he had fucked you and made you climax as you were limply laying on him, breathing hard and resting your heavy head against his sweat glowing neck, letting his musky scent roam through you.

at this, none of you decides to speak, rather stay calm for a second and bath in your afterglow, seeking comfort in your body heat and recovering from the violent orgasm that felt like an electrified current falling down on you.

tighnari decided to speak first, "we made a mess." he smirks, letting out a half broken moan as he clumsily pulled out of you, his softening member laying limply on his stomach, somehow still pulsing and aching.

to add to the attempt in making you flustered, you barked back, "no, you made a mess." killing the empty space in between your faces you cradled him, peppering his cheeks, nose and his plump lips with soft, sloppy kisses.

the both of you laugh at each other breathlessly, stroking and caressing your tired bodies and spending the additional quality time you had gotten together now.

#genshin impact x reader #genshin smut #genshin x reader #genshin impact smut #tighnari x reader #tighnari smut #genshin x you #genshin impact x you #tighnari x you #genshin impact tighnari #tighnari x y/n #genshin impact x reader smut #tighnari headcanons #tighnari fluff #genshin headcanons

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dilemmaontwolegs · 5 months

Note

FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!

Sorry for the profanity, but i BAWLED at the Bucket list fic😭

I read it when I had some time at work, and i cannot tell you how my heart BROKE!!!! I had to hide my face and wipe my tears because GOD HELP ME i almost choked on them.

Absolutely loved the fic, but can’t help but wish you’d broken our hearts more by letting is witness her last moment with Cha by her side!! Masochistic much??

Adore you and your work so much🥰

- May✨

Great, now I’m crying again. Fuck 😭😭😭

The Bucket List

Charles remembered every second of your last day. For a moment it seemed like you were doing better, you had energy and you got out of bed. You walked to his piano and asked him to play your song, smiling like it was the first time hearing it all over again. He played it until his fingers cramped.

“Can we put the Christmas tree up?” you asked as you looked at the empty corner by the fireplace. It had been forgotten in the week since you returned home, usually it would have been up and decorated on the 1st of December.

Charles didn’t feel like he had much to celebrate this year but he nodded and closed the lid on the piano. “I’ll get it from the loft.” He left with a kiss to your temple and a small smile.

It took longer than it normally did to hang all the baubles and drape the tinsel but you wanted it to be perfect. Charles held the final piece in his hand, a delicate porcelain doll with a gold halo above her head. It was new, one he found that looked just like you and he rose on his toes to reach the top of the tree. “Mon ange.”

You didn’t speak as you took a seat and watched the lights flicker on the tree but he felt connected to you when you placed your hand on his thigh and rested your head on his shoulder.

“I’m tired, Cha,” you said with a yawn. “Will you come and lay down with me?”

“Of course, mon amour.”

Charles helped you as the day came to an end, his arm bearing most of your weight as the energy you had earlier faded with an exhaustion that came from deep inside your soul. You felt no pain as he lifted you onto the bed and went to close the curtains to defend you from the setting sun.

“Will you hold me while I go to sleep?” Your eyes were already getting heavy when the bed dipped on his side and he carefully cradled you to his chest.

“Of course, mon amour.”

You forced your eyes to open just enough to see those gold and green eyes you had fallen for. Your chest was getting heavy, each breath requiring more effort and you closed your eyes to focus on each inhale and exhale.

“I love you, Charles,” you whispered weakly as his warm lips pressed to your forehead.

“I love you too.” Charles felt his universe shatter with the shuddering breath you took before the world fell silent. “Forever and always.”

Click here for Two Years Later.

#ollie answers #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #formula one imagine #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #tw: death

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gremlingottoosilly · 5 months

Note

you think ms.konig would try to find a loophole into learning some German like example books or media on tv or does konig forbid her watching or reading anything that’s in his language? there are times where people can pick up a new language just by consuming it in their activities, so i thought that could be a helpful. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

The main problem with learning German as a whole is that Konig forbids it because he wants control. He moved Mrs.Konig out of her country, literally placed her in his house like some sort of trophy, and now exerts control over her life even when he is away. If she knows the language, it would mean she can be independent - get her own job much easier, find some local friends and generally doesn't depend as much on him for everything. He moved them to a small town/village deep in the mountains, it's not even as much of a touristy spot - almost no one here knows English, so Darling feels isolated and lonely. Konig would soon find out that she had learned the language since he had cameras and other means of watching over her...he thinks it's almost cute, she wants to connect to his culture and it's honestly adorable, but he wants for her to kinda stop and just obey him as usual. It's one of the most toxic aspects of this relationship that I honestly can't even try to paint as light - he controls our status as an immigrant and forces us to play by his rules because he is literally the only person in this whole country who you can relay on. If he knows we have broken the rules, especially after a few fights about this exact matter, he is going to be fuming( placing us inside the room, probably chained to the bed without a TV or literally anything to entertain ourselves. He hates doing this, he wants to play this role of happy family for longer, but it's not possible anymore, he has to punish you( maybe he can fuck the language learning from you

#konig x reader #cod #yandere konig #konig

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beautyinsage · 9 months

Text

Thought of you

Gojo really likes your dress.

gojo x reader.

cw: smut, light choking, scratching, breeding kink? i guess, moves that might be slightly... not possible

“I like this dress,” Gojo murmured into your neck, piercing you from behind with deep, languid thrusts.

“Thanks,” you managed breathlessly as your palms pressed onto the mirror in front of you. With how hard he was gripping your hips, you were surprised that it wasn’t ripping at the seams. “I thought of you when I bought it.”

Gojo’s hips stuttered and he paused, leaning forward before turning your head so that he could look you in the eyes. “What?”

Ah, shit. He wasn’t supposed to know that part.

“O-oh, nothing,” you manage to stutter, embarrassment flooding your cheeks. You attempted to thrust your hips back against him to encourage him to keep going, but his hands pressed you down into the counter, keeping you so firmly in place at the edge that it stung your skin. You bit your lip as his sharp gaze never left yours, crystal blue eyes making you nervous. Clenching around him, you couldn’t help but look away; that, apparently, was not acceptable to him — God, in what world would his ego let that slide? — and he gripped your chin, forcing you to look at him.

“T-Toru—ah!” Whatever pathetic excuse or deflection that you were trying to stammer out in that moment was quickly interrupted by a deep thrust, one that made you take every inch of him, and you knew you were at his mercy.

“y/n.”

And with that, the words tumbled out of your mouth before you could even think to stop them. “I bought this dress because it reminded me of your eyes.”

His expression went blank for a second, but before you could blink, he pulled out of you, flipped you over and lifted you in his right arm easily, desperate lips connecting with yours. You let out a squeal of surprise as you instinctually wrapped your legs around his and your back hit the cool tile behind you. Your left hand tangled in his hair and pulled tightly while the right scratched at his back to the point you knew he would have marks in the morning. Quickly using his free hand to realign himself, he thrust into you deeply, a moan leaving both of you as he set a frantic pace, pounding perfectly at your sweet spot. “Fucking hell, y/n,” he panted as he used his left hand to grip at your throat and squeeze lightly, “you’re gonna make me fuck a baby into you, I fucking swear.”

That was it. That was it. His name, disguised as a broken moan, escaped you and you shattered in his arms, wave after wave of ecstasy tumbling through your veins as his brutal thrusts only continued, coaxing out every last drop of your orgasm.

“S-Shit, you’re so fucking tight when you cum, I swear,” he practically whimpered as you clenched around him, on the precipice of finishing himself. He released your throat and placed both hands on your hips as his thrusts got harder and faster than you thought to be possible. After a few seconds, his breath quickened and he buried his face into your neck. “Too fucking good—so fucking good to me. Fuck, I’m gonna cum—F-Fuck!”

You closed your eyes, savoring the feeling of him pulsing inside you as he groaned against your skin, biting at the supple skin as he tried to silence himself a bit. The bathroom you had escaped to suddenly felt very quiet, noise absent outside of your heavy breathing intermingling.

“Whatever you want,” he murmured against your pulse, placing a tender kiss by the surely forming bite marks. “In that color, whatever you fucking want sweetheart.”

a/n: i was high as shit when i wrote this sorry. also i think this is hotter when you hate each other but can't stop fucking

#sloppy writing i'm sorry #but it was fun #gojo smut #gojo x you #gojo x reader #gojo x y/n #gojo satoru smut #jjk smut #jjk x y/n #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk gojo

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theoccultz · 9 months

Text

Which star quality of your's makes you admirable?

Happy Cancer season to all

General reading ,take what resonates leave what doesn't

Short reading /intuitive reading

Pics not mine credits to their rightful owners, i do not own any pictures

Note-i'm just here to deliver what you need to know not what you want to hear so please respect my space+tarot is not to be replaced with legal or medical advice its upto you how you take decisions and use it for your highest goods .

Decision is always yours i'm not responsible for it ,see ya at your pile!!

Take a deep breath and choose your pile (:

|×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××|

Pile 1 . Pile2.

Pile3. Pile4

|×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××|

Pile 1 : (Neptune)

Leader quality

Ok you guys big dick energy-

I'm getting this vibe from , the type of individuals who dont give others false hopes,you pull them out of their shells in the best way possible,you guys are not that leader who just do whatever they feel like you guys are the one's who's listening to others ideas , letting people express themselves and building the stable foundation within them through your actions and your words .

Others feel ...you are like a coconut ,tough exterior on the outside soft in the inside its quite wholesome if you ask me ,i'm getting you guys could be very innovative with your ideas & your solutions and how you use them in your daily life ,you guys teach them to be yourself not what others told them to be .

I dont see you guys being hopeless or dissapointed for the longest time you guys rise above your challanges and thats admirable,its like you guys have so much little good things about you but you're still humble.

>Random signs:

August ,lemona ,strike ,sugar ,smile i feel like you guys have this beautiful smile ,C ,9 ,2 , big fans of football, recently purchased a purse or suit ,likes vintage things ,9h &3 h placements , intimidating,initimacy others might find you intimidating in the initial meetingz , zero tolerance,public , school, B country? Cancer sun ,virgo moon ,leo rising ,neynar ,west hollywood, short hairs ,shiny eyes ,gold ? , J,h,S,D,A, gemini placements.

> "People" song because i feel like you are the one who recognise others presence so they dont feel invisible like "people"

Pile 2 : (Heart)

Ok my power rangers

you guys are present when others need you the most , you're having a panic attack? I'm here , you're afraid to walk alone? I'm coming ...you guys are THAT people its like randomly you guys apoear in others life and make it meaningfully ,i feel like you guys attract a lot of broken people , others admire you for your generosity, you give them strength by just being there ,i feel like you guys are gonna meet someone *Random* but i feel like this person could be taurus or aquarius they are coming in with a offer which will help you expand your inner circle.

You guys are the type of person who stand up for other people if someone is making snarky comments you are the first one to interrupt them and make them realise how they are choosing to behave is wrong,you guys are my power speakers , people feel a deep connection with you its like someone finally understands them ,your energy is very comfortable to be around,you have a big heart is what others feel about you .

people might remember you as someone who has helped them in their lowest ,when they just needed one push to achieve their goals ,you guys provide them with guidance and thats what is admirable nor everyone is ready to invest their time or check up on people ,you dont overreacting and you understand their situation and where they are coming from.

>Random signs:

Leo placements,9h , cancer 2nd house ,6th virgo ,m , sticker ,april ,sweets?, Ferry ,glue ,tan ? ,Veron vasu? ,F ,9,5,8,4 significant dates ,watched Rapunzel recently, sold out tickets , education,aries 5h ,pluto 12h ,3h , recently broke up ,likes braids ,wears baggy black clothes ,red? Significant here ,quick to react/respond.

>Kitsch because i feel you guys shine bright but don't give yourself enough credits ,So Kitsch is here to hype you up:

Pile 3: (teddy )

I love your liberal thinking,you guys are the type of individuals who understand other people,community ,things on a deeper level you are not quick to draw judgements by listening to one side of the story ,you guys might be silent observer's?

Others feel comfortable around you ,they can be themselves on the other hand you guys realise the importance of respect and accepting people,i wont be surprise if you guys are that friend who's always including everyone, listening to each person ,etc.

Your words hold weight they just dont come from nowhere or you're not talking in the air ,i'm sensingthe star quality here where others are naturally drawn to your empathic nature in hopes of finding a feeling of home , others feel like you are a gift like a good thing after a long period of destruction.

Other signs:

Z , Champaign, Artist ,leo on the ascendant,had a rebirth ,isa writer? Cats ? Lips others might gossip abt you , Engineer crew , corazon , sandeigo , M actor? Spider , 489 ,515 ,606 ,virgo in the 3rd , Neptune influence, libra ? , Justin , summer, lgbtq , dancer , taurus2nd , saturn11th house ,demonology ,fire dominant.

>Calm down because you guys touch people's soul which your energy ,which is unforgettable because others remember your presence lifetime :

Ik its a sexual song but in this song sel is singing about being intoxicated by her lovers energy thats why i included.

Pile 4: (Fishy)

Backbone of society

This might be my fav pile i feel like you guys make things happen,you could be very good at manifesting? You guys are probably connected to nature in some way i feel like people are naturally drawn to your aura and your personality ,what you present or put out there ? You could be content creators,others feel a sense of calmness with you its like they can relax they feel light talkin'with you ,i feel like people wonder abt you a lot they see you have been through some tough challanges but you still have proven everyone wrong by your hardwork , its like a quality of inner strength

people find you very friendly and soft like a person they'd wanna have a drink with,they remember your words for the longest time ,others appreciate your presence they feel like you are extremely keen on details a good worker who can get them ahead ,you might even encounter possesive individuals .i feel like you dont go by the flow at all you are just comfortable being w/yourself.

Honestly this might be my famous pile people love how groundound and relient you are its like you remind them of their sweet childhood memories,they find you very vibrant and the way you talk is uplifting in some kind of way ? ...i feel like people click with you because of your similiar interests however i get the feeling you guys might be introverted or shy its like you are just so damn noticable, people want to talk to you or get to know you better ,they see your potential .

They feel like you guys are transformational and it makes others shook to the core i feel like you guys have this brilliant ideas that you keep hidden . People admire your ability to inspire believe it or not (: others notice random things about you ? ,They feel like you are in deceptive relationships and that you need better judgements about others

Random signs:

Eagle ,posts ,cruel ,place to be ,sandwitched drama ? , Finding you , carnival,jet pilot , blackberry ,taurus rising moon ? entertertainer ,cant trust you , scorpio 10 or 7th house , genx , movie marathon ,red bike , weekly news , lover by taylor swift ,818 ,655 asteroid, Givenchy, grunge aesthetic, silver jewels ? ,Essay .

As it was cause people reminse about you or how you made them feel :

Thanks for reading!!!

#Spotify #pick a card #tarotblr #pick a pile #spirituality #intuiative reading #tarot reading #vd #spiritual community

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pearlsinmyhair · 10 months

Text

⋆ “come home to me.”

in which hobie keeps his promise that he’ll always come back to you, no matter what.

fem!reader. slight nsfw, mdni. angst at the end. mentions of wounds.

being spider-man was a pain, never ending with little to no relief. hobie couldn’t exactly take a break from protecting london, and by extension the multiverse. but sometimes he just wanted to throw in the god forsaken towel that had been thrust upon him years ago.

since he can’t do that, he finds solace in you.

when he comes home late at night, bruised and bleeding, and you chide him for his recklessness. you have him stand while you sit on the countertop, or if hes too tired he’ll sit and you’ll stand.

you’ll press rubbing alcohol and triple antibiotic to his facial cuts. on the worst nights he doesn’t even protest. he’ll let his head fall forward to rest in the crook of your neck and just breathe you in.

because at the core of it all, it’s you that keeps him going. you that gives him purpose.

on other nights, the nights where death reaches too close and he feels the sharp promise of dark eternity, he finds you in his bed. he’ll sink into you slowly, drawing both of your orgasms out until his body shakes with overwhelming emotions and sensations. he’ll have you mewling and whining under him as he sets a slow pace, thrusting deep inside of you so that you feel him pressed against your cervix.

on those nights he needs to be the closest he can get to you, the most connected you can be. he needs to hear his name from your mouth as reassurance. it’s grounding, making love to you. and you realize that, holding him round the shoulders and moaning against his skin.

and after, he’ll hold you close, tucking you away under his chin and close to his chest. sometimes he watches the window in the bedroom, daring fate to test his will to protect you.

he’ll whisper expressions of gratitude into your ear, no matter how you protest. because he is thankful for you, for your patience and empathy. your kindness. because truthfully, he doesn’t know how he would handle it if the roles were reversed.

when he told you his secret identity, his spider-persona, you had barely bat an eye.

all that you asked was one thing.

“promise that you’ll always come home to me. i don’t care how, be it broken and bleeding or perfectly fine. just come home.”

and he had promised, pressing a kiss to your temple and holding you close.

you were his home, no matter what happened. and he would always come back to you.

until one night, when a tall man in a blue and red spider-suit stepped through a portal. he removed his mask, revealing a grave expression, and your mouth opened to ask.

“where’s hobie?”

want to check out more of my work? click here!

#hobie my beloved #hobie #hobie brown #hobie brown atsv #hobie x reader #hobie brown x reader #hobie x y/n #hobie brown x y/n #hobie brown smut #hobie brown angst #atsv x reader #across the spiderverse #hobie brown x fem!reader #hobie x fem!reader #fem!reader

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thefallennightmare · 4 months

Text

Just Pretend-eighteen

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: The song choice for this chapter is St. Patrick by Pvris!

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @koskeepsake @bngurngheart @shilohrosechicken @emzandthevoid @casangel1986 @qualityvoidcollectorsblog @myownthoughts12 @jilliemiw86 @bellaboo967

NOAH

My car idled in my driveway as I trained my gaze hard on my steering wheel, deep uneven breathing overpowering the sound of the radio. I arrived home almost twenty minutes ago but couldn’t gain the strength to go inside. The light in Jolly’s room was on and I didn’t feel like getting the third degree about where I went after I left the pier.

They knew I was taking Y/N home but didn’t know what happened after.

“Noah,” Y/N moaned while rubbing her pussy over my thigh.

My lips attacked her neck in vicious bites as my hand grasped at the skin of her back, anything I could do to pull her closer.

“Let me fucking cum, Noah.”

I rested my head against the headrest and let out a strangled breath as different memories clouded my mind.

I sat on the edge of Bailey’s bed, a beer bottle hanging loosely between my fingers. It was my third one in the last hour; body tipsy from the alcohol. From the second I stepped inside her apartment, Bailey offered me a drink, wanting to know what I did today. But instead of talking, I drank while we watched a movie in her bedroom.

Both of us were feeling the effects of the alcohol and Bailey was standing in front of me, hands running through my hair.

“I’m fucking depressed,” I hiccuped after taking another long drink of my beer. “I drink like a fish and have needs that aren’t being met.”

“I can help you with that,” she kneeled in front of me, hands reaching for my shirt as her lips grazed over my neck.

I felt stiff in her embrace. “I can’t”

“You can,” Bailey’s hands snaked up my shirt, dragging her nails over my abdomen.

I squeezed my eyes shut at the memory, letting out a broken breath. “I can’t fucking do this. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Bailey sat in front of me on the bed, naked, but my eyes were straight on hers, not daring myself to look farther down.

“On your knees, face the wall,” I demanded while rolling the condom over my cock.

Angry eyes stared down at it, feeling betrayed by how hard I was. It wasn’t anything like how I was with Y/N and I knew it was only because of the thought of having an orgasm.

Anger still radiated through me as I gripped the steering wheel, my knuckles turning white. How could I have done that to Y/N? How would she ever forgive me?

“Noah,” Bailey moaned.

I grunted while pausing my thrusts to shift us so her face was buried into the pillow so I couldn’t hear her.

Bailey felt nice but nothing like Y/N. With my angel, it felt as if she was my missing piece when we connected, it was as if our souls were becoming one. The way Bailey moaned wasn’t the same either; pretty but not what I needed to properly get off.

I stared down at her back to see a small butterfly tattoo on her shoulder. Pretty but nothing compared to the tattoos Y/N had. Her body and image filled my vision and I gripped the hips in front of me tighter.

“Oh,” she writhed underneath me. “Shit.”

“Fuck, angel. You feel so good.” I panted.

Y/N’s bright smile radiated my thoughts when my eyes closed and I thought of her laugh as I came inside of the condom.

“You’re a pig” I spat out into the confines of my car. “I thought of Y/N the entire time.”

The selfishness began to eat away at me, this cowardly facade. All I needed to do was tell Y/N my feelings and have her sit down and listen.

Shit.

First I needed to tell Bailey, whatever this was, was finished.

Nice, you’re going to break up with her hours after having sex?

Why was I holding onto something I didn’t want? I kept trying to fill the loneliness of Y/N. She was everywhere. Why couldn’t I just tell her how I feel?

Rejection?

Is it because sometimes I have a lisp?

No, idiot. She doesn’t care about that.

Suddenly with a choked sob, it hit me that the fear of being abandoned again was holding onto me like a vice.

Stay here, you’re comfortable. Stay here- you’re comfortable in your weakness and your temptations; your temporary fixes.

These moments were easy to hide behind. Bailey was easy to hide behind. The alcohol was always easy. Something new I hid behind was the sex and I just wanted to drink until it was fatal.

What a fucking mess.

The light turned off in Jolly’s room but I still wasn't ready to head inside. I felt safer in my car where I could chastise myself for my actions. I ran a shaking hand over my face as my knee continued to bounce in anger.

Y/N stormed into my life like a fucking tidal wave. Every day I couldn’t believe this was how I’d ended up. I told myself after everything I’ve been through there was no time for love, no time for the commitment, no time for anything.

Survival; that’s it. That’s what you know.

The second I stepped off the bus that first day of the tour, my eyes landed directly on Y/N, I knew that everything I thought and decided about my life was going to be different.

I repeatedly replayed this evening and continued to feel disgusted with myself and my actions. Bailey was lovely, too sweet, but I knew she didn’t truly see me as a person. She saw me as the man with the voice- I couldn’t blame her, none of this was her fault. I need to end it.

But then it hit me again, what I’d done.

Oh no. I have to tell Y/N.

I couldn’t handle losing her again.

I smacked the steering wheel. “Fucking idiot! Idiot! Stupid!”

My breath became erratic and stuck in my throat as my chest constricted with pain. I felt my pulse quicken, my heart pounding loudly in my ears, and I shook my head.

“Shit, no. Not now.” My vision became hazy, unable to see in front of me as a sob crawled out of my throat.

Breathe, dumbass. Breathe. Countdown like Dr. Poulos says.

I took in a deep breath, holding it in.

I blew out my breath for two seconds.

Another deep breath, holding it, as the fuzzy vision began to clear.

Letting out my breath, I felt all of my oxygen fill my lungs again and the pain in my best subsided.

Once I felt centered, I ran my hands over my thighs and when the light in the living room turned on, noticing someone peek through the curtain I knew that I couldn’t hide out here forever. I needed to face what I’d done.

“I need a fucking miracle. I need some fucking help,” I muttered while climbing out of the car, slowly stalking towards my house.

Just as I predicted, Jolly was sitting on the couch, watching something on the television and when he saw me walk in, his attention immediately went to the sour expression on my face.

“Hey,” Jolly said softly.

I nodded in return as I made my way towards the stairs, just wanting to wash away Bailey’s scent.

“Everything alright?” He asked as I made it about halfway up the stairs.

I gripped the railing as my jaw ticked. “Nothing, man. Don’t worry about it.”

“No, don’t avoid this. We all came back home hours ago, it doesn’t take you that long to drop off Y/N. Where the hell were you?”

“I-uh-something happened tonight.”

Jolly turned off the television, giving me his undivided attention, so I turned towards him now.

“With Y/N?”

“And Bailey,” I admitted.

His eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “What the hell happened?”

“I didn’t mean for it to get this far with Y/N. We were listening to Death of Peace Of Mind and it just happened,” I sighed.

“You fucked her in the car?” He gasped.

“No. No!,” I waved a hand in the air. “But we were pretty close. I was seconds away from taking off her pants when Bailey called.”

“Noah, come on. You need to break off this situation you're in with Bailey. Both you and Y/N need to cut this crap already. It’s not healthy for either of you.”

I rested my arms on the railing. “I know, I know. I want too but its another day of us going in fucking circles.”

Jolly raised a brow. “Is it the rejection or something else that has you stalling now?”

“No!” I rushed out too fast.

“It sure seems like it. You’re insecure and worried Y/N’s going to leave again which is why you’re playing both sides. But you can’t have your cake then back up when things get to real, Noah. Its fucked up especially because we already know how she feels about you. You already know.”

I swallowed the large lump in my throat as I prepared myself to say these dreaded four words. Regret filled my veins as the words fell from my lips into the air, telling Jolly what happened after I dropped Y/N off.

I slept with Bailey.

“She didn’t want you to stay?” Jolly wondered.

Another flashback to a few hours ago.

I snapped out of my drunk and sex-hazed nap when a hand grazed down my chest, and stomach, before stopping right at my cock. Bailey was seconds away from wrapping her fingers around it and I jolted from the bed, searing for my clothes.

“Where are you going?” She asked, letting the sheet fall from her naked form.

I spun on my heels so I didn’t have to see her. “I’ve got an early day in the studio.”

“Oh, you don’t want to stay?”

“I can’t,” I muttered, fully dressed,

I slipped away from her with a light kiss on her cheek.

“I couldn’t stay, man. It wasn’t right. This entire night wasn’t supposed to be like this,” I stammered over my words, thanks to the alcohol still flooding through my system.

“Noah-.”

“Y/N walked away from me tonight, Jolly! After the moment we shared, it felt right; real. But she still just fucking left,” I snapped, raising my voice.

“What is she supposed to think? You’ve been twisting Y/N’s mind around too,” he said with a stern voice.

“I didn’t see it that way,” my shoulders fell with defeat. “This thing with Bailey was never supposed to go this far. It was only supposed to distract me from Y/N. I’ve overthought every fucking thing.”

Jolly raised to his feet before meeting me halfway up the stairs. “That’s why we keep telling you to either discuss this shit with Y/N or your therapist at least because what you’re doing isn’t working.”

Flashes of Bailey in her bed tried to come to the forefront but I shook my head, forcing it away. I needed help; I needed something to block out these images.

“I’ll be in the studio,” I muttered while ascending the stairs once again.

“It’s 2 in the morning, Noah,” Jolly called after me.

“Don’t care.”

NOAH

A knock sounded on the door, stirring me awake from my slumber in the computer chair. The bottle slipped from my fingers onto the floor at my feet, spilling only a little bit of the dark ember liquid on the carpet.

Shit, Jesse’s going to kill me for staining it.

“Noah,” Jolly said while walking into the room.

I threw a hand over my shoulder, letting him know I was still here, but kept my gaze trained on the screen in front of me.

“Do you know what time it is?”

I grunted in response, suddenly wishing I hadn’t dropped my bottle to the ground.

Jolly sighed before pulling the chair away from the computer, eyes staring straight down at me. “Are you drunk again?”

“No, just a little tipsy,” I sighed, not wanting to fight him.

After the hell of the last twelve hours, I was exhausted; mentally and physically. Jolly didn’t deserve the anger I felt for myself directed towards him.

“I have this melody in my head, I have to get it out. It’s eating away at me,” I said.

He nodded solemnly. “You’ve been in here for the last few hours, though. Why don’t you take a break? Shower, eat something, get some sleep, and then we can both work something out. Alright?”

“I just can’t-,” I shook my head, long disheveled hair falling into my face.

“You’re not gonna drink what you did away, Noah,” Jolly lifted me from the chair, tight grip on my arms so he could force me to look into his eyes.

“You’re going to sleep the rest of this bullshit off, then when you wake up, you’re going to have some food, a shower, then we’re going to fucking work. Wipe your face and get right. We’ll figure this out.”

“You can’t tell me what to do,” I shot back, the stubbornness radiating off of me in waves.

Jolly snorted while brushing away the invisible dirt from my shoulders and straightening my shirt. “Watch me.”

I reached for the bottle, holding it in front of my face. The dark ember liquid sloshed around in the glass as Chase’s voice rang loudly in my head.

Y/N doesn’t need another Trey.

“I’m not fucking Trey!” I set the bottle down on the desk with a loud thunk. “She doesn’t deserve that side of me. She deserves the best of me.”

Even though I didn’t say her name, Jolly knew who I was talking about. “No. You’re not, so let’s get right. Cut the shit. You made a mistake, don’t let that sit inside you. Get it out.”

“I didn’t mean it, all I saw was Y/N,” I admitted with a sob, a lone tear rolling down my cheek. “I want her back so bad, man. I love her.”

This wasn’t the first time I’d admit my love for Y/N out loud but every time I did, it made my heart stutter wildly in my chest.

“I know,” Jolly sighed while giving me a small smile. “First things first, take a shower and get some sleep, alright?”

I sniffled, standing straighter. “Okay.”

READER

This was such a bad idea. I should not be doing this. I should have immediately declined but Malcolm agreed for all of us before he knew what happened. I couldn’t back out now, much to my dismay.

With a sigh, I threw on my swimsuit cover before sliding on my sandals. Matt wanted to throw an end-of-summer pool party at his place. As much as I didn’t want to face Noah, the idea of hanging out around the pool with my friends and beer sounded relaxing.

“Hey, are you almost ready? Malcolm’s waiting in the car for us.”

Looking towards my open door, I smiled at Chase, who was leaning against the wall.

“Yeah, I just need to grab my bag.”

Salem was asleep curled up on my bed and I gave him a soft kiss on the top of his head after grabbing my bag.

“Something is up with you,” Chase squinted his eyes at me, almost assessing me.

I shook my head, deflecting his assumptions. “I don’t know what you mean?”

He pointed to my face. “The look on your face, your entire aura.”

When I walked past him, ready to end this discussion, his arm shot out to block me in place right in front of the door. “Wait, is that?”

Chase’s finger grazed over a spot on my neck and I smacked it away before covering it with my hand.

“Is that a hickey?”

“Chase, don’t-,” I began.

“Fucking finally!” He exclaimed while throwing his head back.

I raised my brows while crossing my arms over my chest. “Excuse me?”

“You two must have finally talked. Got rid of the elephant-.”

“No!,” I cut him off while waving my hands. “We didn’t talk about fucking anything. It was a weak moment, which I’m extremely guilty of.”

“Wait, you didn’t,” Chase shook his head, now confused. “Noah didn’t-?”

“Chase, there is nothing to say. He doesn’t feel the same about me, not the way I do. He’s with this other woman.”

“Then what the fuck happened last night? Why do you have a hickey on your neck?”

I shifted on my feet, avoiding Chase’s gaze. “Their new song was hot and it just happened- it won’t happen again.”

“Fuck, Y/N,” Chase pinched his eyes shut. “You can’t be this dense. What is going on with you? Noah doesn’t feel the same? He looks at you like you’re some fucking angel that just got shot down from the sky. How can you not see that?”

“Let it go, please. I waited too long. He wants to move on, and I had no right to do what we did last night,” my breath wavered as I pushed past him into the hallway, ready to end the conversation.

“Did you fuck Noah?” Chase’s voice carried down the hall just as Malcolm walked back into the house, eyebrows raised.

“You fucked Noah?” Malcolm gasped, dropping his bag of towels to the ground.

My feet skidded to a halt, head whipping back and forth between them. “No! But, it was getting there. We would have if Bailey didn’t call.”

Chase now appeared in front of me as I stood in the hallway, Malcolm on the other side of him. “Sweets, you’ve got to stop being so hard on yourself. You made a mistake by leaving that night; we all know that. Noah forgave you, he’s written songs about you, and I know our songs are about him. Just cut the shit and talk to him okay? He loves you, Y/N. I know he does.”

Tears burned in my eyes as I let out a shaky breath. “If he loves me then why is he with her?”

Malcolm and Chase shared a look, unsure what the right answer to my question would be.

“I don’t know,” Malcolm sighed. “But maybe if you two talked to each other. Writing songs instead of letters can only help so much.”

“Can we table this discussion for now?” I asked with a sigh. “I just want to have a relaxing day today by the pool.”

My roommates and brothers shared another look before reluctantly agreeing.

The car ride over to Matt’s was filled with the soft tune of the radio while Malcolm drove, hand linked with Chase’s, and I sat in the back marveling at how far their relationship had come.

In the beginning of Hollow Souls, I knew that there was chemistry between them but they were nervous about what I or Trey would think. Trey never knew because he was too busy being buried in alcohol, but I always knew that they were meant to be together. Soulmates if you will. No matter how hard they tried to deny their feelings, it was Malcolm who made the first move.

The corner of my lip turned up in a smile when I remembered the memory; it was after our first successful tour came to an end. At the time, Chase lived with me in Las Vegas, before I moved in with Trey, and Malcolm was living in Los Angeles because of better opportunities. Chase didn’t want Malcolm to leave quite yet, something Malcolm picked up on because he invited Chase to visit him soon.

Only Chase.

After some late-night talks with me, Chase eventually agreed and spent two weeks in Los Angeles with Malcolm; He returned happier than ever.

If there was any relationship to study and look up to, it was theirs.

“I’m going to take your advice,” I said suddenly as the car pulled to a stop in front of Matt’s house.

Chase turned to face me. “You are?”

I nodded. “It can’t hurt, right? Telling him how I feel,”

Malcolm looked at me through the rearview mirror.

“Finally!” He exclaimed. “ Just tell him! Let it out and then you guys can run away and fuck again. Because this late-night moaning of his name is not doing it for me. Our walls are thin.”

I slapped his arm. “Fucking tell me about it. I don’t need to know some things about your relationship, especially when you guys are in bed together.”

MICHAEL

The expression you can cut the tension with a knife had never been more right than at this exact moment.

I sat on the pool's edge, legs dangling in the water, with Bryan next to me. We saw the exact moment Noah walked in with Bailey clung to his arm, the only way this day would end would be in a disaster. I turned towards Jesse, who was already in the pool and mouthed three words.

“What the fuck?”

Jesse’s only answer was a shake of his head.

Bailey never left Noah’s side, her hand wrapped around his, as they made small talk with Nick. I could see it in the way Noah’s jaw clenched that something was wrong. She kept trying to pull him close but he did his best to keep his distance.

“Did he forget that Y/N’s coming?” Matt scoffed while sitting on the other side of me.

“Did Noah mention anything about bringing Bailey?” Brayn asked.

Matt scoffed again, something about this whole situation was truly appalling. “I guess she kind of invited herself. Folio brought it up in front of Noah, not realizing he was on the phone with her. So he felt obligated.”

“Fuck,” I shook my head while taking a sip of my beer. “Talk about awkward.”

“I wouldn’t say awkward,” Matt muttered while adjusting his hat.

“Matt, be nice,” Jolly said sternly as he walked past, knocking off the hat so it could splash into the pool.

Suddenly, the air and tension tilted on its axis when Y/N walked into the backyard with Chase and Malcolm. My eyes immediately snapped over to Noah, who was already watching Y/N with an intense gaze. She turned towards him, ready to say something until Bailey snuck up behind Noah, wrapping an arm around him.

Noah’s body immediately tensed and when I peered back at Y/N there was a look of hurt or betrayal on her face; I couldn’t tell which exactly and could study it more because she was already slinking away from him, behind the forefield that was Chase and Malcolm. Bailey then dragged Noah towards the grill where Orie was cooking food.

“Is it just me or is there something there? More than usual?” I asked.

Jolly, who pulled up a chair behind me, sighed. “All I can say is that Noah was in the studio till about five this morning. I’m even shocked he’s standing upright. He drank half a bottle of Hennesy before spilling the rest on the carpet.”

“He did what?” Jesse spoke up, gaining the attention of others.

We ignored Jesse’s outburst and did our best to enjoy the rest of the afternoon, no matter how awkward things were right now. Surely, it couldn’t get worse.

I saw the expression of bewilderment had come back onto Noah’s face as he stole glances at Y/N while she chatted with her bandmates. It was as though a faint doubt occurred to him as to the quality of his present happiness. There must have been moments when Y/N tumbled any short of Noah’s dreams – not through her fault, but because of the colossal vitality of his illusion.

It had gone beyond her; beyond everything. He had thrown himself into it with a creative passion, adding to it all the time, decking it out with every bright feather that drifted his way. No amount of fire or freshness can challenge what a man will store up in his extreme ghost-like heart.

We’ve all attempted to keep the peace as long as possible, but fuck, is this enough. Especially after the way he brought Bailey here today. The first time Bailey met all of us at Y/N’s welcome home party, that was awkward enough.

Neither of them could seem to spit out what they wanted. I wanted to tell Bailey to go home. She’s too sweet for this but yet so fucking naive. Her head was in the clouds; a mere rockstar in her clouded brain. Noah’s a human being, and so were the two women caught in the middle of this.

But something changed, drastically, between Noah, Bailey, and even Y/N. It’s been almost an hour and not once did they say a word to each other. They sat on other ends of the backyard; Noah and Bailey sitting just the two of them on one of the lawn chairs while Y/N sat with Chase and Malcolm, joking around with Orie.

I sensed something while noticing the small things others wouldn’t. I tilted my head to the side, watching Noah and Bailey. The grazing and touching were almost too intimate, especially in front of all of us; Y/N included. Bailey tried to run her hands through Noah’s hair but he flinched away and quickly tied it up on top of his head. Noah had yet to shed himself of his t-shirt but Bailey was donning a green two-piece, hoping to catch his attention.

Noah didn’t dare glance at her that way, keeping it civil and friendly.

Bailey laid a kiss on his cheek before she whispered something in his ear, him shivering at whatever she said. It was then that I grasped what happened between them.

I shook my head while motioning for Jolly, who was now in the pool. Once he swam over to me, I pointed to Noah.

“Did they?”

Jolly simply nodded, not wanting to utter the words out loud in case other ears were listening.

I sighed, disappointed. “You got to be fucking kidding me.”

The way I observed this pool, you’d think I was a swimmer with sharks.

But I knew Noah. I’ve watched him; he smells bullshit like a shark smells blood, even his own. He watched Y/N from the side the entire time.

To make her angry? Jealous? Who knows. But he was tired of the arm candy; that I could see. Once again, void of emotions. Just another fucking animal for the ark, that was Noah’s.

Movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention and I watched as Y/N hesitantly took off her swim cover. It was a hot day, most of us cooling off in the pool, and it took a lot of coaxing from Malcolm and Chase but eventually, Y/N must have felt comfortable enough to show more skin. I knew parts of her past with Trey, thanks to what Noah had told me, so I was aware of the body issues she was dealing with.

I didn’t understand why; Y/N was gorgeous, and we all agreed to that. But sometimes when you spend years dealing with all kinds of mental abuse, it takes time to get over those old habits.

Once Y/N stood in the bright rays of the sun, soaking her almost in a neon glow with her bright red two-piece. The variety of tattoos was fully on display. The small one on her inner ankle made me chuckle, remembering the story Jolly told me about why she got that one. I glanced over to Noah, who sat with his elbows on his knees, chin resting on his palm, as he watched Y/N with careful eyes as she dipped herself into the pool. Bailey kept rambling on about something to him, not even realizing his attention was somewhere else.

On someone else.

NOAH

My eyes burned as I watched Y/N dip herself into the pool; unholy skin cooling immediately. Bailey kept rambling on about some random bullshit about the record shop, something I didn’t care about because the only thing I care about was gliding through the water, laughing along with Chase.

The way Y/N was sitting on the side of the pool, thighs almost wide open. She was soaking wet right now, but not by me and that wasn��t fair. I could remember exactly where her magic was. I know exactly where I’d have to touch, lick or bite. I’d like nothing more than to slide those vibrant red bikini bottoms off her and taste her, begin to have the best fucking meal- happily. Seeing her spread wide open, I could feel myself getting hard, straining against my shorts. I discreetly adjust myself hoping no one will notice and set my attention elsewhere quickly.

I took pride in seeing her blossom. Y/N was hesitant to take that cover-up off- I knew that. But she found her confidence and as soon as that thing fell off her shoulders it was like staring directly into the sun. I was hot, sweating profusely, and I wanted so badly to reach out to touch her. Feel her skin, lock us both together, almost drowning in this pool.

“Noah, are you even listening?” Bailey chuckled while running a finger down my arm.

I shifted in my seat so her hand could fall away from me. “Sorry, it’s been a long day.”

“You should have stayed last night. We could have slept in, ordered something for breakfast, maybe fucked again,” she said.

I snapped my head towards her with my jaw clenched. Bailey wasn’t exactly quiet but thankfully, Y/N was on the far end of the pool where she couldn’t hear us.

“I told you, I had to be at the studio early. I couldn’t stay.”

Bailey brushed a finger over my cheek. “Do you want to stay tonight?”

Before I could give her an answer, Matt’s voice rang out. “Are you two going to isolate yourselves all day or come swim? It is a pool party, remember?”

I glanced over toward the group of them, especially at Y/N who was purposely avoiding my gaze which made my stomach drop.

Did she find out about Bailey and I?

No, the only person I told was Jolly and he wouldn’t say anything.

“Come on,” Bailey pulled me up from the chair and tried to reach for my shirt.

Gently I pushed her hands away, muttering something about how I didn’t want to swim, and sat on the edge of the pool next to Michael. If Bailey said something, it fell on deaf ears, as I quickly picked up on the conversation between Michael and Jesse.

“Oh, Y/N, your tattoos are gorgeous!”

My eyes danced over to Y/N, standing back on solid ground, running a towel through her water-drenched hair. I followed a drop of water as it grazed down the side of her neck, over the bright red but small mark, and I nearly choked on my spit.

“Uh, thank you,” Y/N gave Bailey a small smile as she sat on a chair, accepting a beer from Folio.

“Any meaning behind them?” Bailey wondered as she swam in front of my legs that were dangling in the water, forcing herself between them.

Michael saw the scowl on my lips and lightly smacked my arm.

“Be nice,” he grumbled.

Ignoring him, I watched with careful eyes as the two women talked.

“Depends on which one,” Y/N answered.

“All of them?”

“Bailey-,” I started.

“No,” Y/N interrupted. “It’s fine. I don’t mind her asking about them.”

We locked eyes for a long beat before she was the first one to break it.

“The floral design on my arm doesn't mean anything, I just wanted a sleeve. Uh-,” Y/N then pointed to the small Spirited Away character on her other arm. “This is from my favorite movie.”

Bailey shook her head. “I don’t know what that is.”

“Kaonashi,” I answered. “From Spirited Away.”

“I thought I saw one on your back?” Bailey questioned.

Y/N turned in her chair, showcasing the large snake and floral tattoo that covered the entirety of her back. Memories of our night together in the hotel room flashed in my mind; my lips kissing over every inch of ink as my finger traced the design.

“Oh, that’s amazing. What’s the story behind that one?”

Y/N’s lips in a pulled line; a fake smile. “A snake shed their skin, a way to represent growth. I always found that fascinating so that’s why I got a tattoo of a snake.”

Bailey’s finger grazed up and down my leg under the water. “What about the tattoo on your thigh and leg? It’s fucking huge.”

“Uh,” Y/N traced over the ink on her leg while staring down at it. “It’s some of my favorite Greek Gods on top of Mount Olympus. My grandma told me stories growing up and they mean a lot to me.”

Folio snorted while hiding his smirk behind his beer bottle and I shot him a look, knowing exactly why he was smirking.

“Let’s just say I was on top of Mount Olympus.”

“Oh, I thought Greek mythology was all fake? Those Gods didn’t exist.”

I let out a low noise. “Bailey, I think this game of twenty questions is over.”

Y/N’s eyes narrowed. “Everyone has their own things they believe in, Bailey. Especially my grandma, she grew up in Greece believing those same stories.”

“I knew you were Italian because of your dad but didn’t know you were Greek,” I said with a hint of shock.

She shrugged. “Half. On my mom’s side.

“Wait,” Nick spoke up. “I thought you were adopted.”

Y/N nodded. “Yeah at six months old. But believe it or not, both of my birth parents were Greek and Italian which is why I think they chose my adoptive parents. I don’t talk about it much because-.”

When her words died on her lips, she gazed away towards Chase who sighed, rubbing her back.

“Because her mom was a bitch, and told Y/N she was adopted on her eighteenth birthday” Malcolm finished.

“Mal!” Y/N seethed while smacking his chest. “You can’t just call my mother a bitch!”

“Why the fuck not?” He rubbed his chest. “You’ve called her worse; to her face.”

Y/N sighed. “Yes, but that’s because she’s my mother. You don’t get that right.”

Malcolm snorted. “I’ll remember that the next time you wake me up at two a.m. because she drunk called you to tell you how worthless and how pathetic your career is.”

I remember back to that night on tour when Y/N divulged a little bit about her past growing up and while she didn’t speak much about her mom, I could tell from then and even now, their relationship was rocky.

“I know,” she sighed while playing with the chain of her ankle bracelet.

My eyes immediately locked in on the bracelet on her wrist and the necklace that hung between her breasts which were pressed together due to her swimsuit. My dick twitched and I had to adjust myself on the edge of the pool in a way to hide my growing erection.

“Oh, how funny is that!” Bailey said, completely not understanding that the conversation about tattoos was over. “You have a cute little tattoo on your ankle. Noah has one in the same spot.”

I stiffened, not knowing if she would be able to put two and two together. Y/N gave a curt smile before rising from her chair, muttering something about going to the bathroom.

Chase could feel the sudden tension so he spoke up. “We have this tradition of getting tattoos done on the last day of tour. So that’s the story behind that one.”

Bailey, realizing there was no need to pester Y/N any longer turned towards me and rested her arms on my thighs as she looked up at me.

“Come in. Swim with me.”

She tried to reach for my hands and I gently pushed her away. “Stop it, Bailey.”

Her face twitched with pain? Sadness? Whatever it was made my stomach drop with guilt.

“I’m going to grab another beer,” I mumbled before rising to my feet and trekking inside.

Except I wasn’t looking for a beer. I was looking for someone specific. The bathroom was in a secluded hallway and just as I turned the corner, Y/N retreated from the bathroom with a look of shock on her face when she saw me.

“H-hi Mochi,” she studdered while shifting on her feet.

I stopped a few inches in front of her, breathing in her perfume, and my heart began to beat widely in my chest. My eyes drank in the sight of her as I stared down at her.

“Hi, angel. How’s the pain today?” I wondered.

It felt like so much happened between us that I almost forgot yesterday she was bedridden in pain before I came over.

A small smile curved her lips. “I’m alright. The meds seem to be working which helps alleviate the pain.”

“I can run out and get you a piece of baklava or a cannoli if you want. There’s a great bakery about a block from here,” I suggested while leaning against the wall.

She hummed while drumming her fingers on her arm as she crossed them over her chest; pushing those perfect breasts up higher and my lips twitched with the want to taste them.

“I’m fine right now but I definitely will take you up on that offer some other time.”

We stayed like this, staring into each other eyes, for a very long moment.

The only sound was our deep, synchronized breathing. In this split second in the seclusion of the hallway- fuck was I reminded; that this feeling has and will probably only happen once, and that’s why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory.

The invisible heartstrings that kept us connected made me cup Y/N’s cheek gently, her turning into my embrace as her eyes fluttered shut.

“Angel,” my voice was low. “I’m really sorry about all that; Bailey. I was on the phone with her when Folio brought this whole thing up and before I knew it she was outside my door.”

Y/N gazed up at me through lashes, shaking her head. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Noah.”

“No, I do because you don’t deserve to be grilled about your life like it’s an interview.”

“Mochi,” she said softly, grabbing my arm that still held her face.

“Listen,” I took a deep breath, ready to tell her the truth about what happened last night. “I need to tell you-.”

“There’s something I have to say-,” Y/N spoke at the same time.

“NOAH!” Bailey’s voice echoed throughout the lower level of Matt’s house. “Can you bring me a glass of wine, please”

Y/N seemed to have snapped back to reality because she sucked in a breath, taking a large step away from me. I wanted to reach for her, pull her back into me, and never let her go.

“I-uh-should get back,” she pointed over my shoulder before slipping away from me; again.

READER

My eyes burned as I walked back into the main area of Matt’s house but almost came to a sudden halt seeing Bailey leaning against the kitchen counter, a huge smile on her face.

“Hey, is Noah in here? I can’t find him,” she asked.

“Nope,” I forced a smile on my face.

Bailey nodded. “Oh also, this might come off awkward but, I have this friend, he’s really nice and I’m thinking it might be nice if you two meet.

“Oh no, no, that’s not necessary,” I vigorously shook my head.

I didn’t need her help to set me up with anyone; not when the one I wanted was the one she was looking for.

“Just throwing it out there! He really likes your music and is really attractive. Don’t tell Noah,” she giggled.

I swallowed thickly, keeping the fake smile on my face.

“I’m not looking for anything serious,” I began while playing with my necklace between my fingers.

Bailey waved me off. “Oh, come on. Give him a chance! Maybe just meet him?”

“I mean,” I sighed, “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to meet him.“

“Cool!” she beamed before pointing behind me. “I need to use the bathroom.”

With yet another forced smile, I allowed her to walk past me and dared not to look back knowing that Noah was most likely still in the hallway as I walked back outside.

All it took was one soft touch from Noah to have my heart stuttering, yearning for more than a simple cup of my cheek from him. Last night, it kept playing on a loop in my brain, even when I saw Bailey hanging all over Noah. At first, part of me was furious he’d brought her after what happened between us last night. But then I remembered, what happened between us wasn’t supposed to happen. Whatever this was that he had with Bailey was real.

But you love him. You should tell him.

I shook my head at the thoughts just as Chase came up to me, my phone in his hand.

“Your mother keeps texting you.”

I groaned while taking my phone from him. “I don’t want to deal with her right now.”

“Everything alright?” He frowned slightly.

“Noah stopped me inside. I was ready to tell him the truth, about how I feel but Bailey was looking for him,” I sighed while wrapping my arms around myself.

The sudden LA overcast brought a chill to my bones.

“Sweets,” Chase rubbed my arms. “Don’t let this stop you.”

“It’s over, Chase. Noah has her,” I wiped a stray tear away.

“Y/N, no.”

He reached for me as I walked past him, over to the chair I previously claimed, and threw on the red sweater I bought, not realizing it was the one Noah gave me last night at the fireworks show.

His suave scent filled my senses and I snuggled deeper into the warmth, noticing the look Jolly was giving me. He was sitting at the table next to me.

“What?” I raised a brow while glancing over to him.

He shook his head, a small smile on his lips. “I swear that sweater looks familiar. Like I’ve seen someone else wear it before.”

Playfully I flipped him my middle finger, which in turn made him chuckle, and when my phone buzzed in my hand I was reminded of the three unread texts from my mother. With a deep breath, I prepared myself for whatever cruel words she sent.

Mom: Hey it’s me, just checking in. Haven’t heard from you in a while. I know our last talk wasn’t good- I didn’t mean to say those things, but you must see how you pushed me into it.

Mom: I understand you’re out there living whatever fantasy your dad filled in your head, hope that’s going well. But, please understand where I’m coming from. It’s not a career. You’re not gonna be stable forever.

My heart burned with anger and hurt as her words cut deep.

Mom: I want you to be responsible, not live in the clouds. I am pushing you to take life seriously. No man is going to want to marry you- this lifestyle is unconventional and I just wish you would see it. I’m sorry you don’t agree but, one day I think you will.

Mom: Love you kouklamou.

I scoffed as I read the last text repeatedly. After all those cruel words, she dared to call me her doll?

Bullshit.

After decades of wishing upon a star for my mother to love me the way I thought I needed. I looked at my innocent childhood and had to face reality. My mother would never be someone I could count on for emotional support. My father was who I counted on, he was the one I could trust would understand me and my mind. She never understood my love for music and my freedom. When they divorced I saw how it tormented him, he was in agony. He tried to pick up the pieces and move on with his life, as hard as it was he was able to. I vowed I would never hurt or feel the hurt he did, the hurt she caused me. But a part of me felt guilty; the little girl who yearned for her mother's love made me stay with her after the divorce.

Until my eighteenth birthday when my mom told me I was adopted and that there was a part of her that held that against me growing up. My adoptive parents couldn’t have kids so they chose adoption. While my dad loved me like his own flesh and blood, my mother couldn’t look past the part that I wasn't truly hers.

I never once sought out my birth parents because, to me, I already knew who my parents were. I was distraught at the news that I packed up all of my things and moved in with Chase, who had his own place. This was before Hollow Souls and I’m thankful every fucking day I made that choice because I had no idea where I’d be if I didn’t.

Growing up, I was taught to love my family and to just accept the love they give. With the passage of time and the dawning of maturity, I began to doubt this kind of unquestioning love. I realized with therapy that what I was doing with Trey wasn’t normal. It was toxic and soul-destroying.

But now I’m trying, and I won’t stop trying to break that cycle. I have to. Noah seems so different, every tie in my heart feels as if it needs to find him. I seek him unknowingly- I would only hope that with time, I could break that cycle with him at my side.

CHASE

Y/N was talking quietly to Nick, who brought her a blanket from inside since the sun was slowly starting to set, and I knew this was a perfect time.

I bent low to lay a kiss on Malcolm’s lips. “Did you want anything to drink?”

“I’ll take another coconut water. Thanks,” he smiled up at me.

Matt snorted. “Oh, come on you too? Noah loves that shit and I don’t understand why. There’s no flavor to it.”

Leaving the two of them to get back to their card game, I ran a hand over my buzzed head and slipped inside the house where Jolly was rummaging through the fridge, setting up what he needed for dinner.

“Any particular reason why she’s here?” I motioned back to the sliding door where Bailey had her arm wrapped around Noah’s as they were talking with Davis and Orie.

Jolly sighed while setting down the box of pasta. “I don’t know, man. Bailey overheard and next thing he knew, she kind of invited herself.”

“This game that Noah is playing is fucking sick, Jolly. Not only to Y/N but to Bailey as well. Neither of these girls deserves this. If he plans to make Y/N jealous it's fucking working but also going to push her away.”

“Listen, I fucking get it,” Jolly somewhat snapped while setting down the pot full of water. “Trust me, we’ve all tried to talk to him about this. Noah’s half scorpion, half mule! What do you want us to do? And as for Bailey, I can’t do anything about that. It’s not my place to say anything. She invited herself and Noah felt bad.”

With a deep breath, I gripped the counter to keep my own anger in check. It wasn’t fair to Jolly to be on the receiving end of how I felt about this whole situation.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. Y/N’s my sister so when we see her hurting, it hurts us.”

Jolly nodded. “I know, I feel the same about Noah.”

Gazing out through the sliding glass doors, I watched as Y/N nodded along with whatever Nick was saying, every so often stealing glances over to Noah, who was standing almost motionless next to Bailey. She held a glass of wine in her hand, taking long sips every so often, as she listened intently to Bryan as he talked with Orie. No one paid her much attention but that didn’t stop her from being social.

Poor girl has no idea what she’s caught in the middle of.

Noah shifted his gaze towards Y/N, almost as if he felt her staring, and when their eyes locked it was only for a brief second before she gave him the cold shoulder, turning away from him.

Bailey then noticed Noah wasn’t paying attention so she wrapped an arm around his back and left a kiss on his cheek.

I titled my head, analyzing the interaction between the two of them. Something was different. I wasn't quite sure what, though.

NOAH

The only sound that filled the night air was the clanking of silverware against plates as we all silently ate our dinner. Bailey finished her third glass of wine before reaching for the bottle to refill her cup, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Matt who sat at the head of the table. He raised a brow at me, motioning towards Bailey, and I shrugged in return.

Y/N sat directly across from me and I noticed that she barely touched her food, simply pushed around her spaghetti with her fork, only taking a few bites here and there.

Chase, who sat on her left, muttered low in her ear. “You okay?”

My eyes snapped up from my untouched garlic bread as his words. I knew there was something different with her, I could feel it low inside of me. The pull that connected us vibrated with anger and sadness.

I tapped Malcolm’s arm, who sat next to me on my left. “Everything alright?”

“Her mom texted her a while ago. The shit she said, Noah, is fucked up. There’s a reason why I called her a bitch. She deserves it.”

“Should I-?” I pointed between us.

Our voices were hushed so I knew no one could hear our conversation.

Malcolm shook his head, voice sounding stern. “Just leave it, alright? Give her some time to deal with everything.

I didn’t miss the look he shot over my shoulder towards Bailey.

For the next few minutes, silence continued to pass through the entire group, until Chase began drumming an unfamiliar tune on the table with his fingers.

“Shit,” Jesse said while looking at his phone. “Hollow Souls released a new single?”

Chase smirked. “Came out earlier today, we haven’t had a chance to bring it up. We could listen to it now if you guys are fine with it?”

Y/N’s head snapped up away from her plate. “No, they probably don’t want to hear it.”

Orie snorted. “Are you kidding me? We’d love to hear it!”

“I didn’t know you were releasing a single,” I spoke to Y/N.

Our burning gazes locked once again. “You never asked.”

Ouch.

Matt hooked up his phone to the outside speaker as the opening notes of their new song began to play, Y/N’s voice dancing against my ears.

I know it's chemicals that make me cling to you. And I need a miracle to get away from you. I know it's chemicals and I need a miracle. And I'm not spiritual but please stay cause I think you're a saint and I think you're an angel.

I nearly choked on my beer as I set down the bottle with a loud thud.

You give me something to think about that's not the shit in my head. You're a miracle.

Miracle.

Transparent hands were at my neck but I love the way you let me breathe instead. Take in your chemicals. You’re a miracle.

Everyone else besides Y/N faded away to white noise as I drank in the sight of her as she stared back at me. Her lips were parted, short and shallow walls escaping from her chest. Her fingers tapped against the table along with the beat.

Before dinner, Matt started a fire that burned towards the left of the table, the flames keeping us warm, and I slowly moved my head along to the lyrics.

But please stay cause you're a glimpse of bliss, a little taste of heaven.

“Angel,” I murmured under my breath.

Now she was avoiding my gaze, keeping it directly to her fingers on the edge of the table. Her lips were moving in sync with the lyrics.

I need a miracle to bring me back to you. I know you're gone now but I still wait for you.

No, I’m not gone. I’m right here!

My eyes widened as I shook my head slowly, silently begging Y/N to look at me; she needed to know that I wasn’t going anywhere. I was here in front of her. Finally, as the song faded out, Y/N peered up at my through lashes and I choked on a breath, realizing that tears brimmed at the corners of her eyes.

As everyone gave their praise for the next song, I sat stiff in my seat, not knowing exactly what to say.

“I loved it. It sounded amazing,” I finally said with a shy smile.

Y/N nodded with her lips pulled in a straight line.

Bailey twirls her pasta and then stuffed the fork in her mouth. “That song was awesome! I just love the direction your music is going lately.”

She swallowed her mouth full down with a large gulp of wine. “It’s a shame Trey didn’t work out with you guys. I really enjoyed the flair he added.”

My shoulders stiffened at the mention of his name and I noticed Y/N grip her fork a bit tighter.

Why the fuck would Bailey bring up Trey- and why the hell did she think she could discuss shit she knew nothing about?

Bailey continued to ramble on. “With everything that happened I mean, it has to be hard to find time to write about things, but you do such a great job.”

Everyone at this large table is silent, not even daring to let out a breath, wondering where the direction this conversation was headed.

Y/N brought her glass of wine, the same one she’d been nursing all dinner, to her lips to take a small sip as I stared at Bailey, perplexed.

“Excuse me?” Y/N said. “I apologize, I must have misheard you. Did you say it’s a shame Trey didn’t work out?”

“Well yeah, I can’t imagine being challenged like that, trying to be a female in a male-dominated scene,” Bailey shrugged as if her words had no deeper meaning than they did.

A fork dropped loudly against someone's plate while Matt scoffed loudly before almost slamming his beer bottle on the table.

“Please don’t misunderstand me!” Bailey shook her head while waving us off. “I just meant it also has to be challenging especially after Trey broke up with you and left like that. The things I found out about the break up is madness.”

Y/N tilted her head, a low hum falling from her lips. “I don’t feel comfortable talking about this, but I must ask- how do you know all this?”

Bailey slurped on her noodles. “Oh, well I- I read something here and there on some blogs.”

“There it fucking is.” Matt groaned while sliding his plate away from him.

I snapped my gaze over towards him, almost recoiling in the darkness in his eyes.

“Bailey, I think you’ve had enough wine,” I went to reach for the bottle as she began pouring another glass.

She simply brushed me off, finishing the bottle in her glass. “It’s fine, Noah. We’re simply having a conversation.

“I would have had our assistant here if I had known we were doing an interview tonight,” Malcolm joked, hoping to lighten the mood.

“I’m not trying to interview her. I just think it has to be complicated, especially if Y/N wants a relationship with someone.”

Everyone went still as Y/N and I shared a look when she stopped mid-drink, the low scowl on her lips making me slink farther into my chair, fingers scratching at my thighs in rage.

A relationship? Why was this even a question? I wanted to get up and drag her out of here- but I was frozen solid in my spot. Almost in shock. I felt everybody’s eyes shift from Bailey to Y/N, then right on me. I caused this- I did this, and I have no one else to blame. She was pushing the limits, no pun intended.

Why Bailey was being so intrusive with Y/N was beyond me. I could feel myself ticking like a grenade.

Breathe, Noah. Breathe.

5. 4. 3. 2. 1.

Bailey continued to talk. “Imagine breaking up with someone you were in a band with, then changing things up, and so what if you want to? You guys have every right to but it must be lonely. I saw someone discuss it on Tumblr the other day.”

I took her glass away from her grip and set it on the side of me, near Malcolm. “I think that’s enough now.”

“What?” Bailey scoffed. “You can’t take my drink away, Noah.”

My eyes sliced into her. “You’re out of line, Bailey. It's enough.”

“Do you believe everything you read online?” Y/N spoke with a tensed jaw.

Bailey shifted in her seat. “No, I didn’t mean it like that!”

I knew Matt was gonna reach his peak soon, I could feel it. I knew it, I sensed it. He was fiddling with his beer, then his hat back to his beer again with his tongue clicking and jaw clenching. I felt like a coward, But I was a master at hiding my anger- however, it was getting there.

Just before I went to say something, Matt snickered loudly.

Here we go. Bracing for impact.

“Why don’t you try and say what you do mean,” Matt suggested while leaning his elbows on the table.

“Noah.” Bailey turned to look up at me, her brown doe eyes begging for help.

I ran a hand over my face and simply shook my head.

I could see her face in the flames of the fire and one thought came to my mind; play with fire and you'll get burned.

MATT

I narrowed my eyes at Bailey, heart beating wildly in my chest at the audacity of this girl. She didn’t know anything about any of us, besides what she read online. She had no right to hammer Y/N with the rapid-fire questions.

“Do you work for metal hammer or something? Why the 20 inquisitive questions based on something you read off a blog? It seems a bit out of place here, don’t you think?”

“Matt-.”

Jesse spoke but I held up my hand to stop him. I was on a roll before even starting and no one was going to stop me.

“I don’t mean to be hostile but why are we all sitting here just letting this shit go on like a run-on sentence? How are you all okay with this shit? Because I know you’re not, Noah.”

He didn’t say a word, simply kept his gaze trained hard on his beer bottle in front of him as he tore away the paper around it.

“Not trying to be rude, Bailey, but, why would you be reading gossip blogs and Reddit threads about anyone at this table? This isn’t some circus act for you to blab about.” I said.

I didn’t want to interject, I really didn’t at first- however, it needed to be said. One of the biggest mistakes was this situation right here. The line that was drawn a long time ago and Noah needed to end it.

When Bailey didn’t say a word, I turned my head towards Noah. “Do you have anything to add, Noah?”

“No.” He grunted under his breath.

“Discussing anyone’s personal business while referencing blogs seems a bit immature don’t you think?” I questioned.

“Matt it’s fine, it’s okay.” Y/N’s soft voice spoke while reaching a gentle hand on my arm.

I patted her hand with my own. “I’m just saying, it’s off-putting.”

Bailey’s lips mimicked a fish for a few seconds, stealing glances over to Noah as she silently begged him for help; he didn’t give her an ounce of attention.

“I’m sorry, truly,” she finally apologized. “I just meant it must be hard as a female to be surrounded by men and having to handle a breakup, especially someone like Trey, and not having support.”

“I have support,” Y/N snapped, eyes slicing into Bailey. ““I have support, a lot of it and I’m offended you seem to believe I don’t. You don’t know anything about me or anything, period.”

“No, I-I know! I just mean to make it easier on you, this li-lifestyle can seem unstable,” Bailey stumbled over her words, thanks to the alcohol.

“Damn it that’s enough!” I slammed my hand on the table, my anger finally erupting like a fucking volcano.

“Matt, come on man,” Jolly says, trying his best to break the sudden tension.

“No, fuck that. What she just said was disrespectful as hell, not just for Y/N but for all of us. It’s enough now.”

This wasn’t my battle and these weren’t my feelings. But, at least if I could do anything it would be to nip that shit in the ass. She wouldn’t disrespect my friend. She just didn’t belong here, point blank. Maybe this would awaken both of my friends' cobwebs. Go duke it out, and move forward already.

Seeing the hurt look on Y/N’s face, I let out a shaky but calm breath and pushed myself away from the table. I knew that if I stayed here a second longer, I’d say something I’d regret.

“I apologize,” Bailey spoke quietly.

“Yeah I know,” I took off my hat to shake out my hair, tossing it on the chair I previously sat it. “But I’m saying my peace as one who has my friends back.”

I made it all of three steps before spinning on my heels, not quite finished with this conversation. “Also this lifestyle is our livelihood, it’s hard work and my friends out there, the dude you’re casually hanging with’ bust our asses every fucking day because it’s not a game, so when you wake up to your 9-5 tomorrow think about that.”

Dinner officially ruined, I decided to cool off on the other end of my backyard, noticing that everyone had started to either finish their cold food or disperse into other parts of the house.

Y/N was sitting at the table with Malcolm and Chase as they rubbed her back, her shoulders shaking. While Noah and Bailey were inside the kitchen, she rambled on about fuck know’s what as he stood in front of her with his hands buried deep into his pockets. They talked for another few seconds before she walked away from him, deep into my house.

I didn’t like the idea of her stalking around the private areas of my house.

Quicking whipping out my phone, I texted Noah.

Me: Dude, what the fuck are you doing? Get Bailey out of here.

I watched with astonished eyes as Noah read the text and then pocketed his phone again.

“Stubborn mule,” I muttered while typing out another text.

Me: I hope you don’t think that bullshit at dinner was okay. Y/N didn’t deserve any of that. This shit isn’t right.

I smirked when I saw Noah typing away furiously on his phone. I knew mentioning Y/N would light a fire under his ass.

Noah: I never said it was right. It’s not fucking okay with me. I have to take care of this shit.

Me: Then do it.

Glancing back up through my house, I noticed that Noah was gone and Bailey was inside the kitchen, reaching for yet another bottle of wine. I shook my head, appalled and downright aggravated, and stomped my way past the group of my friends, hearing soft cries come from Y/N, which only angered me even more.

I shut the door behind me just as Bailey poured herself another glass. “Another? Don’t you think you’ve had enough?”

“I just-I needed a little something to take the edge off,” Bailey replied bluntly, knocking back half the glass in one go.

I nodded while stopping in front of her so she couldn’t avoid my gaze. “Well after a conversation of prying and making the night awkward, I suppose you’d need something.”

She clicked her teeth while setting the glass on the counter. “You don’t like me, do you?”

“It’s not about liking you,” I shrugged. “I don’t care either way. And I mean no disrespect. But you disrespected my friends and their personal boundaries tonight. That’s something I can’t forgive.”

“I apologized-” she began.

Fuck, I was so sick and tired of hearing an apology from her. To me, it meant nothing. I wasn’t the one that needed an apology.

“Yeah yeah I know,” I waved her off. “But I’m just saying my peace as one who has my friends back.”

With one final hard stare, I dumped the rest of the wine bottle down the sink and left Bailey alone in the kitchen.

BAILEY

I stood there, frozen and aloof, as I replayed the last twenty minutes in my mind. I never meant for things to go sour the way they had, I only meant to have a simple conversation. I wasn’t used to hanging out with this large amount of people, typically keeping to my small circle of friends, and I tend to usually put my foot in my mouth more often than not; especially today.

It had been a long time since I’d been with someone in the way I was with Noah. It wasn’t hard for me to let people in, and of course with the first big pair of brown eyes I gazed into, I was hooked; it helped that I was already a fan of who Noah was.

I knew our relationship wasn’t necessarily a relationship, he made that pretty clear from his actions, and words. We never called each other girlfriend or boyfriend, we’ve only kissed a few times, and before last night, we never were intimate. It’s been a few weeks together now and we only had sex once. I enjoyed his company, his friends seemed nice enough besides Matt.

Y/N, though, was interesting. She was beautiful, talented as hell, and often I admired her, especially from what I’ve read of her. Perhaps, the wine got to me tonight. I spoke a lot when I drank.

After Matt’s lovely conversation, I repeatedly kept going back to last night; the night I spent with Noah. I tried with him, I had been trying to understand what the hell this was; if it was anything.

It sometimes felt like Noah needed me for comfort or something. I can't explain it, but I did everything I could to fill his needs. Last night, before we slept together, I tried to get him to agree to some plans with me.

“We should go hiking tomorrow.” I suggested.

Noah sat at my island, aimlessly scrolling through his phone, not bothering to gaze up at me, “I already have plans.”

I frowned while setting the beer bottles on the kitchen counter. “Well, we could go to the river if you want to.”

“Next week sometime,” he mumbled.

I sighed but wasn’t ready to give up. “Maybe we can take a drive somewhere.”

“No.”

“Well, I’m just asking.” I snapped while handing him his beer.

Noah grunted as he drank half of his beer in one go.

I didn’t fight him when he slipped out of bed later that night. I didn’t argue. A kiss on the cheek and he was gone like the wind.

Movement in front of me brought me back to the present and I saw Noah; those big brown eyes that dragged me into him. His hands were stuffed in the pocket of his yellow hoodie as those eyes were straight in one direction.; Y/N.

Interesting.

My heart dropped slightly as I watched a faint smile on his face, those brown eyes sparkled in a way that was never directed towards me.

Noah’s demeanor around me changed often when Y/N was close by. I never could figure out why; I still didn’t know. I couldn’t help but feel jealous as I noticed the way he continued to watch her every movement as she playfully messed around with Malcolm. She was the center of Noah’s attention and I fucking hated it.

I wanted to feel important. I wanted Noah to look at me the way he did Y/N even if it was just for 5 minutes.

“Fuck this,” I said through gritted teeth before storming through the patio doors.

NOAH

“Oi, fuck you! Maláka!”

Y/N ran from Malcolm as he chased her around the edge of the pool, trying to toss her in.

“I told you, I hate when you talk to me in Greek! I never know what you’re saying!” Malcolm froze momentarily behind a chair; one that was in the way between him and Y/N.

She stuck out her tongue at him. “Did you not listen to any of the lessons I gave you and Chase?”

Malcolm shrugged. “It’s a lot to understand. Can you blame me?”

“She called you a wanker,” Chase stopped his conversation with Bryan and Michael briefly.

Y/N’s giggles echoed into the night air and I watched with a small smile on my lips as Malcolm continued to chase her around the pool. To see her so free and happy after that awkward dinner made my heart warm, it sent heat throughout my entire body.

Suddenly my face was grabbed and I was pulled down to someone's lips that tasted of red wine. Bailey’s hands wrapped around my neck, deepening the kiss as she forced her tongue into my mouth, and my hands limply grasped her hips so I could push her away.

Immediately my eyes snapped over to Y/N, who was watching the entire scene with watery eyes. Her and Malcolm stopped their playful banter and Y/N shook her head, giving me her back.

I then snapped my attention towards Bailey, taking a step away from her. “Why would you do that?”

“Just felt the need,” she shrugged.

“Well, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t do that again.” I cleared my throat while adjusting my sweater.

Matt waved me over and I took that as an opportunity to leave Bailey. As I walked up to him, he showed me his phone; a picture. It was from earlier today, the sun blasting its strong rays across Y/N as she laid out on her elbows next to the pool. Her bright red bikini, almost blinding with the sunlight. Her boobs were perfect in that top, her entire physique was incredible. However, that damned smile was what got me. It had its hooks dug deep into me. That’s what pulled me in every time.

Also in the picture was me, sitting on the other end of the pool, and it was clear that I was enjoying the view of Y/N; a large grin plastered to my face.

“If this is to prove something I already know, you’re wasting your time,” I said while crossing my arms.

Matt snorted before showing me something else. It was an array of other pictures, all from today, all posted to an Instagram profile; Bailey’s.

“What the fuck,” I snapped. “She posted pictures?”

“Yeah, loads of them. I know how you’ve been lately about your privacy so I wanted to show you.”

A fire burned in my chest as I swiftly turned on my heels, teeth grinding together, as I stormed back over to Bailey.

“You posted pictures?”

She was taken aback by my sudden outburst, eyes dancing around us to see if others were listening.

“I-uh. Yes. I didn’t think you would mind?”

I narrowed my eyes. “You never fucking asked me.”

“For fucks sake, Noah. It’s just a picture, it’s not that deep,” she rolled her eyes.

“It is to me, I don’t want it out there. It’s an invasion of privacy and all I ask is that you fucking respect it.”

Bailey stiffened slightly. “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. I never thought of it like that but I guess stuff like this is really sensitive in your industry. You don’t want the record label to see things you might be doing that you shouldn’t.”

I gave her a dumbfounded look, appalled that she completely missed the meaning behind my words. How did me saying I want privacy in my personal life correlate to my life in the music industry?

“It has nothing to do with that,” I said with slight annoyance. “I just don’t want my shit out there without my permission.”

“Why are you acting so weird today? I thought after last night you would be less tense?” Bailey ran a finger down my chest. “I could help ease that tension again. Do you want to come by tonight for round two? Maybe this time we could try a different position where my face isn’t buried in a pillow. I wasn’t a huge fan that way.”

As those dreaded words fell from her lips, Chase happened to be walking past us but froze. My regretful eyes locked with his fiery ones for the briefest of moments.

“No,” I pushed her hand away from my chest.

Chase’s jaw dropped, the metal can in his grasp crunching with his anger.

With my fingers wrapped around Bailey’s, I began to lightly drag her away from Chase.

“I’m taking Bailey home,” I called out. “She has an early shift tomorrow.”

Unsure if it was all the alcohol or embarrassment from tonight's events but Bailey didn’t argue, simply waved goodbye to everyone as I led her through the gate, towards the front of the house where I was parked.

“Oh fuck, my purse!” she skidded to a stop.

With a groan, I ran a hand over my mouth. “I’ll wait for you in the car.”

As soon as her form disappeared into the house, Chase came storming out from the gate of the backyard, steam blowing out of his ears.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He snapped while shoving me slightly.

I stumbled back into my car then pushed his hands off of me. “Excuse me? Don’t touch me.”

“No! I’ve had it with this bullshit,” Chase’s voice echoed throughout the normally quiet street. “I’m done with you treating Y/N like she’s everything you want and all you need. But yet, you’re pulling some college guy crap. That’s my sister out there!”

He pointed behind him towards Matt’s house. “Do you think she deserves that? For you to make out with her in this car then twenty minutes later you go fuck Bailey?”

“Stop, stop! Please. Just shut up! Let me explain this!” I held up my hands, trying to get my own thoughts straight.

The last thing I expected was to have Bailey blab about what we did last night especially in front of someone who was close to Y/N. Regret already weighed down my heavy heart because of my actions last night. Guilt ate away at me for not only using Bailey as an outlet for sex but for Y/N and the way I completely shattered her trust.

“You better start talking, Noah or I’m going to tell Y/N myself. This is fucking ridiculous,” Chase placed his hands on his hips.

I nodded. “I will.”

NICK R.

We waved goodbye to Malcolm and Y/N as they met up with Chase inside, ready to head home after this disaster of an evening. While it had its high points, ever since the awkward dinner, the tension never faltered from how thick it was. So slowly, people were starting to leave. But I hung back with Folio, Jolly, and Matt.

“Are we going to talk about how fucking weird dinner was? What was up with the twenty questions bullshit?” Matt asked, anger still radiating off of him.

He was always the one to stick up for us whether it be against fans online who thought they had the right to judge our actions or people that did us wrong in our private lives.

“It was a disaster from the moment Noah walked inside with her,” Jolly sighed. “I tried telling him how bad of an idea it was but you know how he is.”

Folio spoke up next after typing away on his phone. “If we didn’t know Y/N and the kind of person she was, I’d say Noah’s type in women is shit.”

“He’s growing, it’s just hard for him,” I reminded them with a shrug.

Matt ran a hand over his face. “We know. It’s just aggravating watching him sometimes.”

“Y/N and Noah are both so stubborn,” I said. “They’re both flawed people but they’re trying, even a blind person can see that. But despite their differences, they have one important thing in common; they love each other.”

NOAH

My car eased to a stop in front of Bailey’s apartment, letting it idle for a few moments as I let the continued silence fill the air. The entire drive to her place was quiet. I didn’t even turn the radio on. I needed complete silence to ease my racing thoughts.

Tired eyes fluttered shut with Y/N’s broken face staring back at me. We had deliberately shifted our relationship from what happened last night. When I woke up this morning, slightly hungover but ready for the prospect of the future, I thought for a moment of coming to Matt’s today and telling Y/N I loved her. But plans changed and my interior rules shifted, almost like brakes on my own desires.

I knew, however, in order to tell Y/N about how I feel, I needed to get out of this tangled mess I found myself with the person next to me.

Nevertheless, there was a vague understanding that had to be tactfully broken off before I could be free. If I knew how to do it without Bailey getting hurt, I would have.

Y/N left the car in such a hurry last night, leaving me with yet another hole in my gut. I was fucking tired of watching her walk away from me; from us. I wanted her to stay with me. Why was that so hard for her?

Ultimately, my heart was hers by design. The need to control everything pauses temporarily in her presence.

I knew everything was trash, especially after what happened tonight. I knew that what I was doing with both Bailey and Y/N wasn’t right. It stood firm that the fear of Y/N leaving me in every situation kept me from lifting my foot from the breaks. Everyone suspects themselves of at least one of the cardinal virtues, and this was mine.

As of last night, I’m one of the few honest people I’d ever know. But it was clear; I not only needed help, I needed a fucking miracle.

You’re a miracle.

Y/N’s soft angelic voice came flooding back in my mind making my heart race.

With a sigh, Bailey’s voice broke the quiet air. “You seemed on edge all day today, everything alright?”

“Me?” I broke my trance away from the empty road in front of me to her. “I’m fine.”

Her brows pulled together. “You sure?”

“I mean, besides you giving Y/N a Rock Sound interview tonight, everything went just fine.”

Bailey’s grip on her bag tightened. “I wasn’t trying to have an interview with her. I was just asking questions.”

I snorted. “Well, it sounded like an interview to us. Asking her personal questions isn’t cool, Bailey.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Okay, Noah. Whatever, I get it.”

“No,” I shook my head while turning my body towards her in the car. “I don’t think you do. But it’s fine.”

“Why are you being so hard headed about this? We were just having girl talk.”

“Girl talk?” I scoffed while running a hand over my chin. “I don’t think it was appropriate of you to bring up Trey or her love life. It’s still a sore spot for her. She went through a lot of bullshit with him, some things she’s still dealing with. Something you cant find out on a fucking tumblr blog.”

Bailey hesitated and I could tell she wanted to say more before nodding slowly. “Alright, I’m sorry.”

I waved her off. “It’s whatever.”

Silence fell between us again only this time, it didn’t last as long as the time before.

“Sometimes when you talk to me, I feel like you don’t even see me,” Bailey admitted while picking at a piece of lint or dirt on her sundress.

I didn’t answer, only because I didn’t have one for her. Instead, I kept my gaze down at my lap.

My silence made her chuckle. “Look, a woman knows when a man looks into her eyes and sees someone else”.

“Now you know I can't give you anything you want. Right?” I lifted my gaze to her, voice dark. “I can’t. Because they’re gone. They’re broken.”

“Who hurt you, Noah?” Bailey reached for me but I shifted myself away from her.

“I’m not discussing this with you,” I replied flatley.

“Something is breaking your heart; I can sense that.”

“Already broken” I mumbled, not caring if she caught it or not.

“Well,” she cleared her throat. “Are you sure you don’t want to come inside?”

Bailey’s persistence made me think back to my conversation with Chase.

“Please Noah, I know feelings and expressing them are hard for you, but understand how selfish this is. It’s hard for Y/N to but if you can’t handle this then, please let her go.” Chase ran a hand over his buzzed head.

“No! I’m not fucking letting her go,” I firmly shook my head, standing my ground against him.

Chase sighed. “You tell all of us your feelings except the one who needs to hear it.”

“It’s not that easy, Chase.”

“End the mess you created tonight. It’s not doing anyone any favors,” he scoffed.

Completely ignoring her offer, I cleared my throat. “Listen, before you leave I need to talk to you about something.”

Something changed on her face; excitement? Hope?

“Oh? What about?”

“Here’s the thing, this-.”

I pointed between us just as my phone began to ring.

“Incoming call from Fish Boy. Answer?”

“Who’s fish boy?” Bailey wondered.

“Folio,” I sighed while declining the call. “Look, I have to go. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

To execute my point even further that I was not coming inside with her tonight, I unlocked the door, not bothering to look her way as she slowly left the car. The door was barely shut before I sped away from the curb.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian reader insert #noah sebastian smut #enemies to lovers #right person wrong time #starcrossed lovers

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stars-and-clouds · 10 months

Text

Okay guys but think about Aymeric for a minute.

He is adopted into a family of nobles when he comes from, possibly, a low born mother who was possibly forced into sleeping with a powerful man like Thordan. Had to keep quiet about it and possibly lose her son right after giving birth. Aymeric grew up hearing rumours about being a bastard, about not deserving his life, about how lucky he is, how he was probably a mistake.

And now he is the only one alive to carry on the Borel name, becomes the lord commander of the temple knights at a very young age, then lord speaker of Ishgard, slayer of Fafnir, unifier of dragons and men after a thousand year of war. All this while he grows up hearing he will never be good enough. Imagine how insecure that must make him. Having achieved so much will not make him think "wow, I really am amazing. Sure showed them!" It will just stress him out even more, thinking he can't do it, he isn't capable enough to carry these responsiblities out, not deserving enough to. In fact, idk if we've ever seen him being proud of himself or even happy? Doesn't he always want to jump to the next task? He is too humble for someone in his position, sometimes it's like he doesn't believe he is actually as good as he is said to be.

I think this is shown by his decision to give up his position as lord commander as soon as they finish dealing with Nidhogg. Like, he will do his duty and stop. Because he doesn't think he can do it anymore. He thinks he is not important enough so he goes to confront his father by himself in the lion's den itself, so to speak. Practically kills his father, almost kills his best friend to do his duty, brings about peace and much needed change and gets stabbed for it. How shit must that make him feel about himself?

Aymeric is so good at being a well spoken, smooth politician, we forget to see how broken he must really be inside and he is all alone. Even Lucia isn't with him anymore, having to stay at Garlemald.

The way his eyes light up every time he sees the warrior of light, calling them 'my friend,' every second sentence, as if pleading to be called the same. Writing to Estinien whenever he can, having a deep wanderlust and adventurous spirit but being unable to fulfil it. He is so much like G'raha in this sense but unlike him, Aymeric hasn't gotten his happy ending yet.

The man is so alone but so dutiful. So insecure but so good at hiding it. He craves connection but his duty forces him to be unable to make it. I cannot imagine how hard he has it.

He needs hugs 😭

#ffxiv #heavensward #ishgard #aymeric #estinien #ff14 #endwalker #Aymeric de Borel #aymeric x wol #aymeric x estinien #haurchefant #Aymeric analysis

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amica-aenigmata-naboo · 5 months

Text

Satisfaction

Astarion x Y/N - drabble - 1.2K WC

Masterlist

Warnings: enemies to lovers, cursing, violence, mentions of torture, knoll attack, angst to fluff

----------------------

“I can’t fucking believe you.” you seethed at him.

“Likewise you entitled little cunt.” Astarion spat back.

You threw a punch at him, connecting with his jaw. Karlach and Wyll rushed over to hold you back as Astarion held his face.

“You knew that quarrel was mine to settle. Kethric and Orin were mine to end. And then you just waltz off and kill them both while I’m out getting ready to fight your battle against Cazador?” you spat on the ground in front of him, shrugging Karlach and Wyll off harshly.

Astarion smirked at you, pleased with the fact he got under your skin.

“The next time you need help I wont fucking be there. I hope Cazador gets what he wants, because I can't stand to be in your general vicinity, you low down bitch.” you could feel your eyes water with frustration but your voice remained stern.

Astarion faltered but only for a moment, “How about instead of a tantrum I get a thank you? I dealt with your problem. That's two less issues on our laundry list of enemies.”

You glared at him, “How would you feel if I killed Cazador? Would be a different story right? You didn’t give me the satisfaction… Just… stay away from me Astarion.” your anger tapered out and all you could feel was emptiness. You walked back to your tent silently. Karlach and Wyll went back to what they were doing, also unhappy with what Astarion had done.

You sniffled and wiped away any tears that fell as you packed your bag. You needed to get away from camp, just for a few days. Sort yourself out. You told Karlach deep in the night what was going on and begged her not to tell anyone else. She agreed, understanding completely.

You walked out of camp while the sun was still missing from the morning sky.

-----------------------

Astarion woke from his meditation, leaving his tent his eyes widened when he saw your tent was broken down. Everything of yours was missing, including you. He walked over to your tent, trying to find a sign that you’d be back. His heart started to race.

Fuck.

He knew your fight last night hurt you. And he admittedly did go after Kethric and Orin to shorten the never ending list of enemies, but he also did it to take a shot at you. You’d both squabble since this little adventure started. Constantly goading each other for an unknown reason. Astarion jogged over to Karlach’s tent, you two were close, instant best friends.

“Where is Y/N?” he asked quickly.

Karlach shrugged, not speaking to him.

“Do you know where they went?” he asked again.

“Why do you care?” she sighed, finally looking at him.

“I… don’t… I was just… wondering if they were still licking their wounds.” he said, trying to sound convincing.

“Well, they’re just an entitled cunt, right?” Karlach glared at him.

“Come now my fiery friend, you know Y/N and I have our little rows.” he tried to defend himself.

“Except this wasn’t a row Astarion!” Karlach yelled. Astarion stepped back, wincing at her sudden loud tone. “They were tortured for an eternity. Just like you. They dreamed of escaping. Just like you. They are trying to heal. Just like you. How dare you sit there and take away the one shot at revenge they had? How. Fucking. Dare. You.” she said, poking him in the chest harshly with every last word.

“I… I didn’t know that…” Astarion whispered.

“Well it’s not exactly something they wanted to advertise.” she said, turning around, frustration evident in her voice.

“Do you know where they are?” he asked one last time, the guilt inside him boiling up his throat.

“No.” Karlach said before walking back into her tent, ending the conversation.

Astarion huffed, running his hands over his face. He felt awful, your typical fights were short and sweet. This was… something else now.

----------------------------

Ver’yll jogged into camp after a few days, running over to Karlach. He spoke to her briefly, her face falling instantly. She grabbed her axe, running out of camp. Astarion saw this and quickly followed, not wanting Karlach to go alone to whatever this is. Running deep into Baldur’s Gate, Karlach ran into the open hand temple. Astarion dashed behind her before he saw you. Unconscious on a cot, with bandages wrapped around your torso. Blood seeping through slightly. His heart stopped, his feet planted to the floor. Karlach knelt beside you, grasping your limp hand.

“What happened?” Astarion asked the cleric tending to you.

“Don’t know, they were found on the steps this morning. Looks like a gnoll did a number on them.” The cleric replied, “They’ll need to spend a few days here to heal.”

“I’ll stay with them.” Astarion said instantly.

Karlach furrowed her brows at him.

“Please…” he said with his soft eyes ever present.

“Fine, I’ll go let the others know. Keep a low profile.” she said with a stern voice.

Astarion held your hand, pushing hair out of your face and ghosting his fingers over your cheek.

------------------------------

It took you three days to wake up. Astarion rushed to your side, “Little love, are you alright? Cleric!” he called out.

You squinted at the light pouring in from the stained glass window. Voices echo in your head, your eyesight not quite adjusting. “Astarion?” you croaked out sleepily.

You tried to sit up but he gently pushed you back down, shushing you. The cleric pushed him aside. “No…” you said, reaching for him weakly.

He moved to the other side of the cot, holding your hand. The cleric worked deftly, changing your bandages and rubbing different solutions into your stitched up gashes. You faded in and out of consciousness for this process before finally waking up fully as the cleric left the room. You looked at Astarion as you felt him kiss your hand. You looked at him, his eyes moved over your exposed torso, looking at the scars Orin and Kethric had left over many years. You had never seen his eyes look so doe like, so round and full of sorrow.

“Did you stay with me the whole time?” you asked.

He nodded, bringing a cup of water to your lips.

“Thank you.” you said after taking a few sips.

“I’m so sorry Y/N… Karlach told me… I never would have done that if I knew… I know I can’t take it back, and no amount of apologies will make up for it… but please know I am truly sorry.” he rubbed his thumb over your knuckles.

“I was so angry with you…” you started, looking in his eyes. “But… I know you were just trying to kill enemies we had, and you didn’t know why I wanted them dead so bad. I should have told you… thank you, for apologizing.” you said with a sigh.

“Maybe we should put this whole bickering business behind us?” he said, brushing some hair away from your forehead.

You chuckled softly, “No way… how will I spend so much time with you if we aren’t fighting?”

“Darling, if time with me is what you wish all you have to do is ask.” he kissed your hand again before smiling at you.

“Never been good at asking for what I want… Should we start over?” you asked, shifting closer to him.

“No way…” he smiled before leaning over and kissing your cheek.

--------------------

Naboo's Note:

Hello everyone! Sorry I went on a little hiatus, I was in the hospital for sepsis so kinda hard to write when I was that sick. I hope this is to everyones liking, I'll post one or two more fics over the weekend. Thank you for all the likes, comments, reblogs, and requests. Love youuuuuuu XOXOXOXO!!!!!!!

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saradika · 8 months

Text

— BLEED FOR ME | part iii

[masterlist]

mand’alor!vampire!din djarin x f!reader

rated e - 2.4k

haunted hoedown prompts: vampire!au + “i would burn the world for you.” + vampire has a taste for specific blood + revenge + (one-sided) enemies to lovers (+ 1 to be revealed!)

tags: vampire!au, drinking blood, reader has scar on shoulder, mentions of death, shared memories, light angst, references to seduction, sexual innuendo and thoughts, references to violence

The days until the winter solstice tick down. Early Autumn days start to cool at night.

You sleep under the last warmth of the sun, with windows drawn open after he leaves. The canopy is wrapped around your bed, letting in the afternoon breeze but mimicking the darkness.

And still, you feel adrift. That funny feeling is still settling in your stomach. Rolling with the sway of your step as you follow at the Mand'alor's - Din's - heels.

No longer seating across the room in the throne room. Now next to him, in a golden seat that matches his silver one.

Listening as he conducts his business. Trades and agreements, settled firmly and carefully. A disagreement, broken up without violence.

It’s fascinating.

But it feels... wrong. Your own task seeps into the honor of being at his side, polluting it. You're expected to enjoy it, to look happy, and it's become all too easy to forget what happened - why you were here.

Too wrapped up in the quiet questions he asks, in those moments of dusk and dawn. Half truths becoming whole as you guard slowly lowers. As you begin to learn about him, as well.

Things he tells you. Things you pick up, absorbing greedily without thought.

It feels like a betrayal, later.

How could you forget what happened? How could you forget your promise?

His kindness only extends because you are physically keeping him alive. You should have ended things by now.

But, you haven't.

The guilt gnaws at you. Seeping into your dreams, into those moments of connection, when your eyes can't help but close.

The images so much more vivid, now. Almost a tangibility to them - the quick, blurred edges coming into focus. Repeating, growing longer.

So much seems to focus on that night. You think it's because it still haunts you. Replaying how the shouts had awoken you. That startled feeling as you crawled out of bed.

The shadows on the walls, the weak and watery grey sky. Soon turning red, and then black - with flame and smoke.

A glint of gold. Your grandmother's necklace, lying on the bedside table. A photo of their wedding day inside, painted with such care.

Something you wish you could have saved - one of the few relics from your family, a gift from when you had left them to find your purpose.

You had always wished for a love like theirs. A fated connection.

There’s a throb as you remember the collision - something solid that knocked you to the ground. Fingers coming back sticky, your mouth tasting of copper. The visions always swim, then.

Parts you've never been able to remember, before. Always growing dim, until you'd been woken up under the tree, and it was over.

But lately, there's more. As if you're outside your own body. The limp sway of your arm, dangling as you were carried. The murmur of a low voice, though you can’t make out the words. Dark eyes looking down at you, almost brown in the morning light.

There's a sharp edge of a knife that you always walk.

Torn between pressing, nudging - trying to get get a glimpse of the vampires, the destruction. A way to remind yourself what has happened, why you are here.

And then, not wanting to see.

What if it's something you can't take back? What if it disgusts you so much that you can't help but act in that exact moment - ruining your chance?

So, you don't.

You let the images pass - carefully collecting them. Pressing them lkke flowers between a book, something to come back to layer. Not even realizing that deep, deep down...

You’re really just hoping that you don't see him.

You really shouldn’t have gone down to the kitchens.

A heat still burns in your cheeks at the thought, when you finally made your way back to your room. Your treasure procured - a freshly baked pastry with homemade jam clutched in your fingers.

The food here is the best you’ve ever had. You can admit that, at least. All the Companions are well-fed, with treats and delicacies always left out downstairs.

It’s here, that you had found a few others.

Beautiful men and women, all gathered around a smoldering fire as the sun had begun to rise. Their other halves flitting off to hole up until nightfall.

But just like you - there was a desire to see the sun, at least.

You had joined them, half out of loneliness and half intrigue. They had accepted you quickly, stifled laugher and glances over their shoulder as they had whispered questions.

“So how is the Mand’alor? I’ve always wondered.”

“You don’t have any marks. Does he drink from your-”

An elbow then to her side, her words had cut off with a giggle. A head turned- an aside to her friend.

“Lady Kryze is always so thorough. I haven’t slept in days.”

Someone else had sighed.

“What I wouldn’t give to be Lord Fett’s Companion.”

You had realized there’s desire in their words. That none of them were afraid, that there was a sense of private camaraderie and knowing amongst them.

That unsettling, confused feeling comes back. They were human, like you. Did they not know what the vampires did? Were they so shallow that coin and finery had bought their loyalty?

Their eyes were on you, expectant. You had no choice but to shrug with embarrassment.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

They were quick to set you straight.

“It’s like, a feeling, you know?”

“You have to lean into it. That connection.”

“The first time I tried it, I had marks up and down my thighs by morning.”

There was an eagerness that laced with jealousy, leaving you even more bemused than before. Faking a prior engagement as you had left them, promising to give it a try.

Privately, you told yourself you wouldn’t.

You couldn’t.

Looking back, you can’t even remember the taste of the jam, what fruit it was. All you could think about is this new facet of their relationships.

Wondering if that will be expected of you. Wondering why you weren’t warned.

Wondering if you cared.

Wouldn’t that be a good way to get closer?

The thought makes you uneasy.

You’d put an end to this. But you weren’t so cold-hearted to stoop to seduction. That wouldn’t be fair, to Din.

But as the sun rises, when he comes back.

When his mouth is pressing against your wrist, when you’re looking at the bow of his lips and the wide breadth of his armor, that wondering comes again.

The thoughts creep in.

For he is handsome… the parts of him you have seen. A rich voice and the breadth of his shoulders in his armor. The little upward tick of his lips in a rare smile.

And you are human, after all.

You find yourself imagining marks on yours thighs, on the soft curve of your neck.

How your blood would throb, rushing down to pool beneath heated skin - wet and swollen. The thud of your heartbeat kicks up a notch, as your thighs press together. As you squirm in your seat.

You don’t know his face but you do know his mouth. It’s his teeth you picture sinking into your skin, your mind nudging curiously at the thought.

It sends a jolt down your spine. Pricking at your skin, heat licking at your chest and down to your belly. Then slipping lower. Your breath catches in your throat-

His grip on you tightens, then. It’s almost painful - startling you. A hushed cry rattles from your lungs as he pulls back with a rough gasp.

“Ulyc, cyar’ika.” Din’s voice is ragged, as his hips shift upward - letting go, as you pull your wrist back to your chest, “I’m sorry. But you can’t-”

He doesn’t get the chance to finish his thought. A knock at the open doorway, Boba’s face grave as it turns your way.

“Mand’alor.” His voice is low, his brows drawn together. “The city, it calls for you.”

Din’s chest still heaves, his hand dragging across his mouth as he composes himself. The helmet sliding back into place as he stands, but still keeping himself close to you.

“Wolves?” He asks.

Boba shakes his head, “Raiders, from the looks of it. Like before. I can send someone, or go myself.”

You forget about the pain, about everything, for just a second. The thought of the town below in ruins sends you back to a year ago, sorrow twisting through your chest.

It has you half-standing, but Din’s hand is pressing against your shoulder, carefully easing you back down.

“I’ll go.” His voice is firm, “This has gone on long enough.”

A second, as he turns to you, “I need to take care of this. Boba will look out for you while I’m gone.”

Something like worry creeps in. Aware of the weak light that slips through the cracks of your curtains, how soon it will be morning.

“The sun…” You begin hesitantly, and he’s stepping closer.

“I’ll be fine.” His fingertips touch your jaw and that has you looking up - wishing once again that you could see his eyes.

Giving him just a small nod, instead.

From your window you watch him leave. The glint of his silver armor in the morning sun, now - his movements practiced as he swings a leg over the slate-grey horse.

Drawing his sword - the metal dark and gleaming and looking almost alive, even as far away as you are.

Watching as he gallops down the path, racing off to ward away the threat.

Leaving you inside the castle, to wait.

You worry turns into something else, as the hours pass.

Anger, at the thought of him rushing off to save this town, when he had launched an attack on yours. Did human life mean so little?

Did he even think about the bodies that had lied littering the streets, the memories that has been torn down?

Was it only because these humans were complicit, that they were spared?

You had awoken to screams. You don’t know if your town had even been asked.

The mark on your wrist stays red, unhealed. A reminder while he is gone. That you’ve slipped too far, that you need to get over the tender feelings you’ve pretended not to notice.

They fester inside your chest. You dream about him while he’s gone, as the day bleeds into another.

His face bare, features blurry above the lips and nose you know so well. Leaving you to wonder if his eyes are red, like the glimpses you’ve gotten of Lady Kryze? Are they burgundy, like Boba’s?

Replaying the sound he had made, the morning that he left. The edge his voice takes just after he feeds, lasting through the few moments he stays afterwards. That pulsing, thudding beat that leaves you squirming, when you’re alone again.

Leaving you with the urge to sink your own teeth into something.

Those thoughts are ruled by your heart, not your mind, not your logic. Another betrayal, your eyes unable to help flicking towards the window, again and again.

Looking to the others throughout the day, checking for any news or weakness.

A sign that he’s fallen.

None come.

You try not to think about the relief that follows. Or why you feel listless, your eyes dragging over the same words in the books you pick up, in an attempt to pass the time.

Your enthusiasm for the food waning - more in tune than ever with the hours that pass.

Still wondering about the town, below.

You had spoken to some, in your journey here. They had been good people, honest folk.

Maybe along the way, there had been a mistake. An itch in your brain that you haven’t been able to scratch, irritating you since you arrived.

You’ve decided to ask Fennec about it.

Not about anything that would raise suspicion.

Just why the Mand’alor himself would feel the need to go alone. What sort of promise he had made, to go rushing off with such intensity?

Maybe then, you could understand.

You find her by accident - in a large ballroom that you often cut through.

The ceiling painted in a wash of colors, accented in gold. Seraphs lying on clouds and sprawling gardens and somehow always feeling bright, even in the dim room.

Liking the way your feet echo, in the empty room. A swing in your step as if you were dancing too, even if just pretend.

But you’re not alone today - she sits in one of the plush alcoves. Arms bared where her shirt pushes up, a dark jerkin slung over one of the marble statues that line the walls.

"I'm sorry-" You manage, attempting to back out of the room. The moment looked private - your question could wait.

Her eyebrow lifts, looking unbothered, "You can come in, I'm just preparing."

The way she lounges is casual, as if she does this regularly. Propped up against a nest of pillows, a book opened against her bent knees. An arm draped to the side, an ooze of red that drips down to a half-full goblet below.

A jar of that same salve Din had given to you sits in the open windowsill, for after. A means to wipe the mark from her skin, to knit it neatly together again.

The sight makes your stomach turn, even after all this time.

"Are you leaving, too?" Your head nods towards the cup, as you linger in the doorway - thinking about what Boba had said about her ferocity.

Her brows pinch in question, as you gesture to her arm.

"No," Fennec's head shakes, as she understands. "This is our arrangement."

"I didn't know you could do it another way." You say this without thought - wondering if this had been what Din was offering, that first night. An alternative to biting - another small attempt at adjusting to your comfort.

"I tried the usual way." She shrugs, eyes dropping down at the text, "This is better, for us. It's tedious, for certain. But I've never enjoyed the connection. Boba's memories are..."

Fennec searches for the word, as you go still, "...Unpleasant. And I am sure mine are worse."

His memories.

Is that what you've been seeing? Those flashes of thought that blend with your own, when his teeth sink into your skin?

But how can they be, when you are in them?

"But, I am sure that's different for you." Her expression is sly, lips curving in a small smirk. A sharp glimmer replacing the far-away look in her eyes, coming back from her own evocation.

"What do you mean?" You ask, your voice sounding far away.

Dazed, as if the words are taking their time on their trip from your thoughts to your tongue.

That look comes back. As if you're on two different brainwaves, as if she isn't understanding what you're asking.

"Well, I thought that would be obvious. We’re not like you…" Fennec frowns, her head tilting. A breath, as she clarifies.

"Boba isn't my mate."

Ahh and the last Secret Prompt from the list is soulmates / fated mates! 💕 thank you so much for reading! If you’d like a tag for the last 2 parts, please let me know!

Ulyc, cyar’ika - “careful, beloved”

(Tags: @dameron-grant-spector, @sugadolly, @writingsofestella, @spaceydragons, @-ohsolovely-, @survivingandenduring, @queenquazar, @alitaar, @dindjarinsslut, @avarkriss)

#din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #din djarin x female reader #din djarin x f!reader #din djarin imagine #haunted hoedown #hauntedhoedown

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upheavalofmemory · 11 months

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PAC | Love Predictions Based on Random Pokemon

Hello! This is just a fun pick-a-card! Choose a pile and get a random love prediction based on random Pokemon generated from randompokemon.com <;3

If this gets positive feedback, I may possibly do a game doing cartomancy but with Pokemon cards (I have plenty from my childhood haha) or through the same website, or possibly continue doing pick a cards like this- we'll see!

♢ There are six piles to choose from. Pile one is the letters, pile two is the paper heart, pile three is the ticket to happiness, pile four is the painting, pile five is the telephone, and pile six is the bandaid. Feel free to pick one or several piles. ♢

Pile One ♢ Letters

Who's That Pokemon?

It's Porygon2!

Right now, your love life may be pretty monotonous and boring, constantly going through the same cycles. You may be trying to find a partner through the internet, and it's really not working.

Put in some energy to make connections with people in the real world, especially doing hobbies and things you love, and you may find your love life will become much spicier (not in a 18+ sense, but rather just more flavorful and fun!)

Pile Two ♢ Heart

Who's That Pokemon?

It's Pincurchin!

You might meet someone who naturally has a guarded appearance, but in reality, they are a true softy. They might initially harm you with their words or actions, but they mean no harm, they're just not used to the affection. They'll warm up to you eventually, as will you! You'll find that they're actually quite pleasant to be around, just initially hard to get to know (you know how some people don't date well but are good in relationships? Like that!)

Random note, but they might be very physically affectionate, they love cuddling and hugs <3

Pile Three ♢ Ticket

Who's that Pokemon?

It's Excadrill!

Right now, you may be going in ready to fight, like you're holding a battering ram ready to knock the door down. Right now, you are taking NO prisoners and you mean it! Someone might have hurt someone you love, and you are not standing for that. You may feel so strongly due to previous wounds, you don't want anyone else to feel the same way you did (the red markings remind me of scars). Either way, you're locked and loaded, ready to fight. You might have also recently gotten out of a relationship or don't want a relationship so you're fighting off people you really don't want the attention of. I admire your strength pile three!

Pile Four ♢ Painting

Who's that pokemon?

It's Tinkaton!

You may have quite an adorable demeanor, yes, but people tend to overlook the edginess of your personality. Like pile three, you tend to take no prisoners and would probably gladly go on a riot. Your personality keeps you out of the mold, a rebel almost with a fighting spirit. This may have kept possible partners away from you but someone is going to love your duality!

This pile reminds me of how some women struggle because they haven't received romantic validation from their peers (ditto) and I want to tell you that if you feel the same way, I want you to know that there IS someone out there for you, they just need to match you energetically. If they don't match your boss bitch energy, or at least respect it (or are working towards it), then they aren't worth your time, period.

Pile Five ♢ Telephone

Who's that pokemon?

It's Swadloon!

Ah, my introvert pile. I had the urge to say my "ace pile" so if you are ace you might resonate with that. You're huddling in from the cold, enjoying yourself inside. Do you want a partner? Maybe... Do you feel like looking for them? Not really. You're in some deep, reflective hermit energy right now, gathering up your energy and just enjoying yourself and your own presence. You might have recently broken up with someone.

Basically, enjoy yourself while you are at it. Enjoy your own presence and your own emotions and feelings by yourself or with non-romantic relationships (friends, family, etc). If you're looking for love, there is someone on the horizon, but just chill out for now, you'll go back at it when you're ready and recharged.

Pile Six ♢ Bandaid

Who's that pokemon?

It's Wailmer!

Beach bodyy! I wasn't sure initially how I was going to do a reading based off of Wailmer (he's just a round whale for goodness sake) but then my brain just started yelling beach body and then it clicked.

You might be insecure about your body, especially with the upcoming summer, which may have caused a blockage in your love life, but somehow, you are glowing up! I don't even mean in a physical way, but rather in a mental way. You're going to start seeing yourself better and become more confident in yourself and you're gonna love it.

You might have a summer lover in this incoming season, although I see you are pretty unaware of them. They might randomly come up to you and start making you feel pretty and that's not normal for you. You might push them away at first but they seem pretty consistent; good for you :).

Also, you or they might have a winning/million-dollar smile, "Say cheese!"

Thank you so much for reading! Feel free to check out my masterpost with more readings, or you can support me by purchasing a reading by clicking here. Thanks for the support, let me know which pile you picked and if it resonated or not :)!

#pick a card #tarot reading #oracle reading #pac #pac tarot #pick a picture #pac reading #tarot pac #pick a pile reading #love tarot free #love reading #fs reading #future spouse tarot #future spouse pac #future spouse pick a card #upheavalofmemory #uomTAROT

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