Tumgik
#intensely many times i feel like what i do its not required and even though i deal w jealousy and negative feelings i always control them
gatual · 2 years
Text
last night i was thinking abt characters that love so so sO much that end up doing crazy shit bc of it my beloveds
#🍒#makes me crazyinsane#i thought abt that moment when denji ws like if i ever die posses my body and live my dreams with it but then pochita was like no. ill give#u my heart and u will show me ur dreams STOPPPPPP😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 man stop😭😭😭😭😭#or also homura dying and reversing time hundreds of times just to save madoka every single time.she was her purpose for everything she coul#could go through all that bc her love for her was so much😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭SOB why am i making myself suffer the worst is#idk if the worst but yk i feel like i truly understand this type of characters bc whem it comes to the people i love man oh mannmn#i would givey life kill die and everything else i feel like. sometimes love is so mcuh i feel like it doesnt fit in my chest so sjdbfnfkc#like when i think of my mom sometimes it makes me cry bc love is so much idk what to do w it so i cryehehdbfjfkdndn but that happens to#but in the way that some other times i also feel my chest full of love but i feel so alone and idk what to do with itANYWAY BYE#no way not bye yet something else that happens is that ive never felt ..loved like this🥲 okay now yes bye#NO WAIT JFNDBBJ SORRY anOther thing is think sometimes is that yk how we're all different..and express feelings in different ways and stuff#what if im not interpreting someones love the right way..like what if someone i love does love me back this way but their way of sharing#feelings and emotions is way different than mine (bc this is v possible too yk our experiences arent universal/) WHAT THEN.#im gonna hand this paper to everyone ik so they write w lot of detail the way they feel about me final bye.#wait lmao😭😭😭😭 this is so long i also feel that loving like this makes me a red flag LMAO bc by putting ppl i love over me and loving so#intensely many times i feel like what i do its not required and even though i deal w jealousy and negative feelings i always control them#and never act on them but so many things related to human relationships causing me anxiety and this and that make me feel that im the#red flag itshard to explain neway tru final total byE.
2 notes · View notes
audreyscribes · 3 months
Text
Ω PJO DEMIGOD HEADCANONS: ☀ APOLLO: God of Archery, Art, Music, & Poetry, Prophecy, Light & Sun, Healing & Plagues, Truth 🎶
author's note: I had a sudden idea about writing some headcanons Camp Halfblood demigods being claimed and what it's like for each respective god and cabin, followed by a small blurb afterwards. Thank you for reading and please like and reblog! The order is not in order of the cabin numbers. [PJO DEMIGOD HEADCANONS MASTERLIST]
When you get claimed, you're graced with a light haloing over you. It's so bright yet soft. You also feel warm but you somehow feel like its a warm hug and its Apollo secretly giving you a hug.
The Apollo cabin welcomes you happily and they all gather around, singing you a welcome song. Some of them break out into an Acapella, while some whip out their instruments out of thin air. You find yourself at least humming to the song and maybe even singing along, the words just coming to you naturally. 
 You’re shown the sleeping quarters that are nice and warm, and when you press your nose against them, you can smell the sun on them. 
You’re also shown the ropes of the place, but most importantly where they treat the sick and injured. As children of Apollo, your natural gifts are used almost daily. If you’re not that hyped about seeing blood or the like, you’re moved away from the rotation and help out with other things: changing sheets, disinfecting, checking stock and getting stock, and so forth. 
You’re still required to learn how to do First Aid though. Even if your godly parent is the god of Healing, you’re still going to have to learn how to do the mundane medical methods. Better learn how to do proper CPR just in case. Sure, you could heal any damages but it's better not let it happen anyway. 
You just have candy in your pockets. You might think its odd but when you see a small camper hurt their knee and one of your siblings whip out a lollipop after patching it up, you realise you’re not just there to soothe physical wounds. 
Plus, you have candy. What’s not to love?
Though, speaking of Candy, you didn’t know you had to help out in sorting candy and inspecting it. Especially any red candy or specific dyes used in them. You learn immediately that once ago, there was a period of time that the campers acted very intensely, and after an intense lava wall incident and an almost burnt down pegasus stall, it was discovered that some people had consumed certain candies containing Red dye 40 and was affecting the ADHD.
The Apollo cabin is the place to be for entertainment. There’s constantly music and art being produced. There are even beat poetry nights. 
So many rap battles. 
The Apollo cabin often has collaborative efforts with the Hephatesus Athena,Dionysus cabin. There’s always some big project happening and it’s always a treat.
Hamilition. Cats. Hadestown. Heathers. Highschool Musical- all the broadway shows and musicals you can think of, the Apollo cabin have it down pat. Along with the Dionysus cabin, you just perform and break out in song. Eventually Mr. D and Chiron let you guys perform actual broadway musicals or general theatre because there were too many impromptu moments that broke through the entire camp. No one has recovered from the D's (Mr. D, the Dionysus, and Demeter cabin) and the Giant Strawberry incident.
When you get claimed, light envelops you with a soft mysterious song playing. It was warm and you swore you could imagine arms hugging you lovingly. You’d imagine Apollo used the claim to at least give his children a hug. You hugged back and you felt the faintest squeeze back. Before you could dwell on it later, the light disappears leaving a faint glow on your skin. 
The song you had heard had also drifted off as well, but it had spoken to your soul. Like it had been chosen for you. You saw a bunch of other campers stand around and begin going into verse, a choir of campers singing a song before you realized it was the same song from before. More and more people began to join in, singing in acapella, instruments being played, and people clapping along for the beat. You watched in excitement and you felt their music resonate with you, it went through your body, up your throat and before you knew it, you were singing along, leading it. 
When the song came to an end, the singers cheered and clapped before you saw a boy with curly blonde hair step up, giving you a beaming smile. You thought he looked like a golden retriever. 
“Hi! You definitely have the chords of a child of Apollo” he complimented, holding out his hand. You took his hand as you shook, “My name is Will Solace, and I’m the cabin leader of Cabin 7. Welcome to the Apollo cabin!”
339 notes · View notes
gatheringbones · 7 months
Text
[“When you are speaking with someone who triggers intense emotion, you usually don’t have the luxury of following that trail inside to discover and heal your exile. Instead, you have to deal with the person in that moment despite what feels like an inferno in your gut, a huge boulder on your chest, or an explosion in your brain. You have to stay calm even while the urge to smash the person in the mouth or race out of the room is on the brink of overpowering you. You have to seem confident while your knees want to buckle and your hands tremble and sweat. You have to think and speak clearly even though your mind is full of panicked and angry voices all shouting at once or the gears in your brain seemed to have locked. You know how important it is to keep your heart open and listen, even though all you hear are your own parts complaining about how hurt or mad they are.
In such situations, most people are relieved if they are able to pretend to be in control and succeed in keeping their extreme impulses from taking over. They are happy that they don’t say or do something they will later regret. Is it possible not just to pretend to feel confident, compassionate, clear, and calm but to actually be in that state even while you are highly triggered? Because many of us have been socialized to believe that we have only one personality, this idea is foreign: “You are either angry or you are calm. How can you be both at the same time?” Once you get to know your parts and your Self, you understand that it is possible. Your Self becomes the “I” in the storm—the calm center of the inner tornado of your triggered parts and the outer hurricane of upset parts in the people around you.
Achieving that state requires that you do the opposite of what you are used to doing. Ordinarily you feel the impulse to lash out and then try to control it with shame (I’m bad for feeling angry), scare tactics (I’ll devastate him), or minimizing (It’s not that big a deal anyway), all of which foster inner polarization. The angry part feels discounted, and the protectors are overburdened with responsibility for controlling the situation. If, instead, you immediately attend to the impulse with compassion and confidence, with inner words like, “I get that this is making you very upset, but I can handle it. Let me speak for you right now, and we’ll talk more later about how to go from here,” parts are often able to not blend with you totally so you (as your Self) can be present with your partner even while a part is fuming inside. Later, when you’re alone, you can talk to the part about all of its concerns and make a plan of action or help it unburden. The goal of maintaining Self-leadership with someone who provokes you is not to get that person to change, although that is often a fortunate side effect because your Self may elicit their Self. Instead, you interact from your Self for its own sake—for the growth that comes from showing your parts that they can trust you.”]
richard c. schwartz, from you are the one you’ve been waiting for: bringing courageous love to intimate relationships, 2008
85 notes · View notes
turbulentscrawl · 6 months
Text
Identity(V) Headcanons: Luca Balsa
Next up!
Again, I am new to the IDV fandom, and I have never played the game, so these headcanons are informed by my ongoing lore dives sourcing the wiki, japanese twitter responses, comics, stageplay, and more! Some of these may relate to or even contradict character backstory, and some of them are just pure vibes for me. If you like it, consider shooting a request ;)
Tumblr media
-So to start, I personally headcanon that Luca initiated the fight that led to the electrical accident. He’s always been hot-headed and impulsive, especially in regard to the source of his pride. I don’t think he intended for the confrontation with Alva to end anywhere near the way it did, but I do think he felt a good shove or two were well-warranted when he found out "his" ideas were being stolen. It’s when Alva fought back a little too viciously that the accident happened—and it well and truly was an accident. Not that it matters much when the only survivor doesn’t remember the event at all.
-He has headaches regularly, and terrible migraines at least once a week. He’s yet to find a way to relieve the migraines and, even worse, they are typically followed by an episode of more intense amnesia. Under normal circumstances, Luca’s memory problems are manageable. He doesn’t remember the accident, and there are massive blackouts in the memories beyond it, but on the average day he only struggles with small details of more recent events. During these post-migraine episodes, though, he completely loses all context for where he is, what he is doing, and who the people around him are. Most of the time, the important bits come back…but not always.
-Forgotten memories are also sometimes sporadically triggered by something mundane. A word, a texture, a sound, and suddenly he’s frozen stock-still in the face of a one-person cinematic viewing. By the time he turns to tell someone about it, though, the memory is gone again.
-To try to combat these issues, Luca keeps notebooks stashed everywhere. He writes down anything that might be important, as well as anything sentimental. The obvious issue with this, however, is that he doesn’t always remember where he keeps these notebooks.
-Despite his memory problems, his personality is largely in-tact. He maintains a lot of gentlemanly mannerisms and is cordial, if not outright friendly, to just about everyone he meets. Generally, he’s only “rude” in the sense that his attention tends to shift very abruptly.
-He’s the sort of person who appreciates variety. In people, food, scenery, just about everything. Part of why he gets along with so many people is because he can genuinely appreciate all manner of skillsets and hobbies. Likewise, to be a friend to him you only need to show appreciation for his work; understanding is not a requirement.
-It’s canon that he dislikes noise, but enjoys music. These might seem like clashing sentiments, but what it really comes down to is expected noise. Music can be relaxing, inspiring, rush-inducing! It holds your mind’s hand and hurries it along its thoughtful way. JUST noise is…chaotic, distracting, and sometimes startling. Plus, Luca likes being able to hum along while he works.
-It’s common to be static-zapped if you touch him. Long-term contact can even cause your hair to start standing on end. Unfortunately, it isn’t something he can control, so just be prepared to deal with it.
-The best Love Language to give Luca is Quality Time. He can honestly work with pretty much all of them, but Quality Time checks multiple boxes—especially if you’re good with parallel play. For one, he gets so busy with his work that it sometimes makes him feel guilty for neglecting the people he cares about. If you’re comfortable just hanging around his space, doing your own thing while he does his, it’s easier for him to check in with you between the erratic come-and-go of his thoughts. Those small bits of time add up, and he feels much better about his workaholic nature. Second, the more you permeate his memory, the less likely he feels he is to forget you. One of the few things he doesn’t struggle to remember is himself, his own name, and if you’re always there maybe it’ll be the same for you.
-He has trouble balancing his priorities. He often foregoes food, sleep, hygiene, and even his loved ones in favor of working on his invention. Sometimes he’s so absorbed in it that he doesn’t even understand the weight of hurtful decisions, but even when he does, he’d find it difficult to change.
-It’s also never impossible for the emotions that caused the accident to rear their head again. If someone were ever to intentionally sabotage Luca’s work or unapologetically steal his ideas, he may very well lash out with violence. Even if it were an accident, there’s no guarantee he wouldn’t be enraged.
-Luca has no idea what he’d do with himself if he ever did finish his invention. The guilt he feels for what may-have-happened is confused and warped, and he keeps it buried beneath his weighty obsession with the one thing he’s never forgotten…but if it were ever to be out of the way, Luca might be consumed by darkness.
101 notes · View notes
mischiefmaker615 · 8 months
Note
Hehehehehehe here is an idea that has been floating around in my mind:
Loki is king and his queen is Sigyn, they are pretty good friends but Loki feels no real love for her. They only married out of necessity or smth. It turns out sigyn can’t have children so Loki kidnaps a normal midgardian that looks “similar” to sigyn and plans to breed her to have his heirs.
Although Loki feels no real love to Sigyn, he feels bad for it and thus feels bad for the intense attraction he has towards the reader. He explains the situation to her and since Loki is so hot she is fine with him breeding her (not that she’d have a choice lol). This goes on for a week or so until she gets pregnant.
Reader inevitably falls in love with loki despite everything but feels sad for not being able to keep or help raise the baby. Little to her knowledge, however, is the fact that Loki has been falling for her as well. Maybe there can be a scene where the reader has been having some pregnancy blues and breaks down in front of Loki bc he hasn’t been there enough for her; he feels bad and spends the rest of the pregnancy comforting and coddling her.
For the end after the birth, Loki decides to screw the monarchy and end his unhappy marriage with Sigyn and get with the reader instead.
I understand if you don’t want to write this because it’s super lengthy and specific! No worries and have a great night <3
Tumblr media
Bloodline
Rating: R with dark theme! Note: honestly i placed this in two parts and even then i wished it could be longer than a one shot XD only cause its such a heavy plot idea and a lot of ground to cover Lol hope it works for ya though ♥
The sound of pounding boots echoed through the palace halls of Asgard, indicating those in sight to stay out of the way and to not interfere, no matter how important the matter is. Loki’s cape flowed behind him while his helmet rested just above his brow, looking like every inch of power he had while holding the title as king. Yet what could have possibly upset him when he had exactly what he wanted? War? No.
His Wife.
Sigyn has yet again successfully pissed him off and he hated that it wasn’t even her fault. Per-say..
Honestly he would always love her, but his love for her had changed many centuries ago and so for him, unlike for her, he was fond of her as if he had fondness for a close friend. Any piece of affection she tried giving him, he would reciprocate but with an empty heart.
Its gone on for to long and every day he feels like he’s been lying to her, but leaving was not an option. They married for the thrown and Asgard required a queen, for heirs. So they’ve been trying. Trying for no damn reason.
It was clear that she was unable to bear children.
His heart mourned and hardened at the same time, hating he couldn’t provide her, nor his people the bloodline he was required to give. Until the idea sparked in his mind that very moment their latest argument ended.
He would merely find a mortal that resembled his wife and breed her. Their children would look similar as if Sigyn herself bared them and his people would never know the difference.
Mortals were disposable creatures anyway.
Finally reaching his own quarters- his old one anyway until he had to partake in the shared one, he made sure all doors and any openings were sealed with magic. No one would be able to enter or exit unless it would be through him.
his eyes flashed green before he raised his palm and a small mirror appeared before him, but no reflection appeared, just merely darkness.
‘’find me one. One who resembles my goddess, one who is able to bear an heir..’’ he mumbled before the mirror began to shimmer before producing a moving image of a woman who walked the halls of a Midgardian work building of some sort, but that didn’t matter. Loki’s focus was awe stuck at how close in resemblance she was to his wife, and fairly beautiful in her own way. Not bad, for a mortal.
‘’she’ll do.’’ He stated before the mirror grew to his size, stretching to full length before he took a deep breath and stepped through.
‘’fucking let me go!’’
Loki yanked her through the mirror, the mortal stumbling through by his grip strength, still in her short sleep wear- a reminder of where and when he took her, before he released her wrist, the mirror vanishing to prevent escape.
‘’let me intro-‘’
‘’I know exactly who you fucking are, Loki’’ she snapped, the fire in her spirit and eyes already making him like her more and more as she rubbed her wrist. ‘’news flash, you don’t kidnap people in their damn sleep. now return me right-‘’
‘’unfortunately your return will be impossible darling, your assistance is needed here.’’ he sighed, as if he had no choice in the matter as he used his magic to have his armor and cape vanish.
‘’what- I don’t even have any powers.. I’m useless to you-‘’ she stammered, aware of the temperature here and covered herself with her arms.
‘’in battle, yes. But Asgard needs a bloodline continued.’’ He explained, rotating his shoulders and neck as he spoke, his casual state spooking her more as if he was preparing for a fight.
‘’b-bloodline?”
‘’my wife cannot bear children, that has been confirmed. You resemble her likeness almost perfectly, my people will have no question on the child’s features.’’
Her body was shaking as she slowly took steps away from him, Loki not having to advance because the room was secure no matter where she went. ‘’you.. you cant do this- mortals don’t even live that long compared to you-‘’
‘’magic does not make immortality impossible, and will come quite in handy for you as well.’’
The more he spoke, the more her eyes looked on in horror as she breathing picked up, mind racing for excuses. ‘’-so you’ll just fucking show up with a baby??’’
‘’I will merely tell her I found the child and we will adopt. We will keep the information of the child not being blood to ourselves, so he or she shall not feel like they do not truly belong.’’
‘’like what fucking happened to you-‘’ she snapped and so did Loki.
Almost an invisible force had her on her back on the bed, keeping her there. A stream of cuss words began leaving her mouth before he raised his palm again and a silk, green tie wrapped itself to gag her, making her thrash her head to try to free herself while he strolled toward her.
‘’I truly understand your position darling, I really do and I deeply apologize. But aren’t you mortals- or at least those heroes of yours represented the greater good? Helping those who need it or something like that.. think that you will be helping a greater cause.’’ He explained, as if it would help as he got to the edge of the bed but didn’t make a move to free himself yet, to her surprise.
She glared at him, only able to move her head as her muscles tensed, feeling his fingertips move up her legs before gripping her night shorts, his fingers hooking onto her panties as well before pulling them down, causing her to try to fight again.
‘’I know mortals are very delicate things so I don’t wish to break you so soon love. I will do my upmost best to go slow and to make you fit me. Getting you wet would benefit the both of us as well,’’
he explained, his voice gentle as if genuinely trying to care for her and already felt himself hard by the sight of her. Her spirit is what merely attracted him to her first and it was amazing he didn’t take her in her own bed first but here it was much safer for the both of them.
Her legs were shaking, as of the rest of her beautiful body and half of him wanting to say screw the bloodline, but he fought to hard to gain the thrown just to lose it now because his wife wouldn’t get fertile. So with that, he moved forward and laid between her legs, her struggles against his magic doing nothing as he ran his tongue against her cunt.
This made her freeze, her back arch as if her body froze- not knowing what to do. Ignoring her reactions, he focused on his goal as he began to eat her out, his tongue and lips paying close attention to her clit while he now and again tongue fucked her.
 She squeezed her eyes shut, her body and mind screaming to different things but she was no match for his skills. He was by far, amazing, and her body thought so to as she held back tears with muffled whimpers, feeling herself get turned on.
Loki held back a slight smirk as he noticed it to but kept going, feeling her legs try to close themselves but he remained between as his hands gently caressed her hips and thighs. When her back began to arch more, he stopped.
This was merely a job, a duty, nothing more. If it was strictly based off pleasure alone, there was a higher chance of either of them getting attached, and a woman’s pleasure was the one thing that Loki loved to give.
Catching her breath, she looked with scared and glassy eyes as Loki crawled up her body and moved his hips between her legs. From her muffled cries, he knew she was pleading but he refused to try to let her stop him, even if seeing her like this made his heart skip slightly.
‘for Asgard’ is what he kept reminding himself and moved his eyes to her chest instead, refusing to look into her eyes any longer as he moved a hand down and freed himself. He’d have to move extremely slow as of to not injure her in the slightest, which is what made foreplay important if she didn’t get pregnant the first time, he’d have to repeat this action.
Her muscles strained against his magical hold, feeling him line up at her entrance and she only struggled more upon guessing how big he was by the mere feeling of his tip. She tried telling herself this all wasn’t real, how the hottest man she ever saw wasn’t the one who attacked New York, her people, who kidnapped her and now attempted to take advantage of her all to create another one of him..
There was no use. His magic was strong and there was no getting out. She could only pray that the child would come out not as cruel as the father as she closed her eyes and tried picturing herself with someone who actually loved her. When she relaxed her muscles, she tried forcing herself to not tense as Loki then began to push himself, inch by inch with a small pause between to try to help her adjust.
She was not a virgin, but he was by far the biggest she had ever seen and had. It hurt, and the foreplay did help, to her slight relief and sadness over the whole thing. She was stretched and the tears allowed themselves to far as her cries came with each time he pushed through. It was almost forever until he stopped moving and she knew he was to his hilt. Baring to look in his eyes, his own were closed while he panted, straining himself from rutting her wild. She hated to admit that despite it all, he was.. beautiful. Caring, even, if this was their first time together and not in a fucked up reality.
Her thoughts were interrupted when he took a deep breath and pulled out to the tip, before slowly moving back in without a pause this time. she gasped, her eyes lifting as her back arched, feeling the stretch again as she took deep breaths. At this point, all she could try to focus on was her breathing while he pulled back and moved forward, slow and steady.
She hated how slowly her body was adjusting to him, how more and more she got slick for him. her own body was betraying her and she wished that it hated him but at the same time, her adjustment was making the pain slowly go away and get replaced with pleasure.
Loki knew her body was adjusting and he began to increase his movement to a faster rhythm, his face contorting to pleasure as his lips parted and his fists gripped the sheets on either side of her. It was strictly a job.. but for a mortal.. she felt.. so.. good… he lost himself- and he fucked her fast, even gripping her leg up against his waist as he panted.
She gripped the sheets, her eyes fluttering as he seemed to stuff her and all she could do was take it. she swore she could almost seem him enlarge her pelvis every time he thrusted into her before it was suddenly- over. Her eyes snapped open as he moaned and felt warm liquid shoot into her cunt in large amounts. His limbs were shaking and he rested his forehead against her chest as he panted, slowing his thrusts to make sure she took all of him before he stilled inside her.
Even she was to exhausted to move- if she could as her limbs shook and felt him soften inside of her but he still made no moves. Not until both their bodies seemed to regulate themselves back to normal before he took a deep breath and slowly slid out of her, feeling his seed slightly trickle down between her legs as he put himself away and stood up. With a slight flash of his eyes, he released his hold on her, tie removed from her mouth as she took careful breaths but made no moves.
Watching her from where he stood, he took a breath and spoke slowly. ‘’I’m sorry little mortal… you will be brought three meals a day and will remain in these quarts. Drapes may be open but my spell prevents any means of escape of any sort. I will be delivering these meals myself and anything you might need. Every day I will fuck you and every day I shall check to see if we have created a child.’’
Through magic, she guessed.
‘’I have my ways of keeping an eye on you so please do not attempt anything stupid. Fight me, and magic will be involved in restraining you. I suggest you rest, I shall return in the morning.’’ He told her, his voice quiet but almost as expressionless as his face as he did not once look in her eyes as she had turned her face to the side to look at him while he had made his way to the door.
It wasn’t until the door was shut was when she then allowed herself to cry.
The past few days carried on like this, how he would show up to deliver meals and leave without a word or a glance at her before he would shortly return to have her stand. Most times he would have to use magic to have her cooperate, keeping her in place as he placed a hand on her tummy with closed eyes and used simple magic to seek out life. With every result coming out negative, he would fuck her.
Never giving her her own pleasure, he told himself he wouldn’t enjoy it either out of the equal rights of them both. Thus, he would fuck, not as so much as touch anywhere else before he would leave her stuffed and alone.
Days became weeks and fear turned to anger, cussing at him and throwing things upon him entering the room and she even tried starving herself. The fear of being under complete mind control by him to force her to comply is what made her cooperate, convincing herself she had at least that in control of herself.
It was pushing a month and that’s when she noticed her period was not on her mental schedule. Fear and relief flooded over her, unsure whether he would let her go if he finally got what he wanted.. it was only a matter of time before he would check her.
Loki came in, not saying a word as he shut the door behind him and strolled towards her before she raised a hand to stop him, causing him to throw an annoyed look but he raised a hand to begin using his magic but he paused.
‘’wait- I’m.. I think I’m..’’ she trailed off, almost afraid to even say the words out loud as his expression changed to almost a.. lightened mood.
‘’well.. we won’t know until we check.’’ He said quietly, the first words he had spoken to her in awhile as he lowered his palm and walked slowly to her. ‘’will you try to strike me today or do you think you can control yourself?’’
She ignored the annoyed feeling by his comment and shook her head. ‘’..i will not strike you.’’ She promised and sat on the bed behind her, resting back on her elbows.
Loki strolled towards her, confident that it wasn’t a lie considering what he was the god of. Standing before her, he leaned down and rested a hand beside her on the bed while the other rested on her stomach while he closed his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he concentrated while she stayed perfectly still.
While he used his magic, she couldn’t help but look at his face- call it her own little routine while his eyes were closed. He was.. beautiful. Cruel and beautiful. Damn him.. damn it all..
what was this feeling.. he was the only one who even gave her attention, as fucked up as it was to admit. She had no friends, no family, no lover.. which is probably why she gave up on being rescued a long time ago. If it wasn’t for his cruel intentions, she could stare of his face a little while longer if only he stayed.
Once Loki opened his eyes, he stayed leaning towards her, not moving as his features seemed to hold a gentleness to them, his eyes soft as well as his eyes. His stare almost made her nervous at the result and she glanced down at her tummy as if something else was wrong as she sat up.
‘’am.. am i-‘’
Loki then leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers, her body freezing from the shocked reaction that overfilled her while he closed his eyes and moaned against her mouth. Before she could even register what was happening, he pulled away and stood with a blank expression once more yet his voice sounded more.. kind.
‘’you are pregnant.’’
Her eyes widened as she looked up at him, a hand immediately resting on her tummy as her lips parted, awe struck as emotions swarmed her, not knowing if she was happy, sad, if she were to cry to rejoice and.. rejoice what? ‘’i.. I am?’’
‘’yes.’’ He said gently and straightened, looking at her with almost an intense expression, she had no choice but to pay attention. ‘’with each meal you will be served, I will be giving you.. think of it as a.. potion. it will help the child grow healthy, for your body to adjust normally and for there to be no pain while you carry an Asgardian.’’ He explained and she slowly nodded, both hands on her tummy now as if she was protecting the child already.
‘’..okay..’’
Loki gave a small nod and turned, walking towards the door before he felt a grip on his cape, causing a brow to raise as he turned to see her eyes darting to the floor, her lip quivering as she slowly released him.
‘’..stay..’’
Part 2
116 notes · View notes
mdhwrites · 1 month
Text
Was Ratio a Good Free Five Star?
TL:DR All the things that make him look bad on paper as a free five star are exactly why he was frankly a FANTASTIC choice.
But I do mean it when I say that on paper he looks like Hoyo taking an L while we get left with Ratio. Not because he's bad though. For entrenched players like me, he was exciting. A main DPS that had to have a team comp that was pretty different from a lot of the other hyper carries out there since most supports, especially the hyper carry ones, don't do debuffs. If you try Tingyun and Bronya next to him, you'll often end up missing on MASSIVE damage since you need those three debuffs on the enemies. So who supports him best? That's an exciting question for someone with a wide variety of characters.
BUT.
A free five star like this is literally never for the entrenched players. It's a nice gift to them but this sort of thing is either a sign of desperation as they plead for old players to come back or it's a marketing trick to pull new players in. As Star Rail is still one of the best in its genre monetarily and Ratio was put out specifically because of all the awards it had just won, it was clearly the latter. A way to pull people in while the buzz around the game was big. Finally convert any last Genshin players who were on the fence while also finally moving people over from ALL the other team comp focused, turn-ish based gachas out there. A flex of dominance.
With that in mind... Think about who your first half a dozen, guaranteed characters are. Only half of Trailblazer has a debuff and it lasts one turn. March 7th has her freeze on her ultimate and that lasts for one turn. Dan Heng is the only member of the team with a debuff through his skill but it's only a two turn debuff and again: requires a skill point.
Then after that, the next three guaranteed are Asta, Serval and Natasha. Asta doesn't have a debuff without her trace ability to burn on basic meaning you have to get actually a decent bit into the game to actually get a debuff through her. Serval finally gives you a long lasting debuff with her Shock DoTs and can even extend those, making her not that skill point intensive. Then Natasha is, well... A healer who eventually dispels debuffs, not adds to them.
So two planets into the game and a new player could theoretically have a team of characters who all have debuff on skill but one of those debuffs lasts one turn and they ALL need to be using their skills most rounds in order to keep up the three debuffs to guarantee Ratio has good damage... On his skill. In a game where, unless you have a limited time 5 star that ISN'T free, you only have up to five skill points a round and that's only if you used a lot of basic attacks before hand. If you invest in her, you can swap one of them for Asta who I think would have her burn on basic to help but you'd still be running at a pretty extreme deficit mostly.
That is what you're guaranteed and so the shiny five star you were given, who was pushed towards you, is... Awkward. To put it mildly. Even potentially frustrating as every time you miss with his skill is a failure and feels AWFUL. Worse yet, you can so clearly see how he could work and how he could be strong!
And that's why he's amazing as the free five star.
I've jumped into plenty of long running gacha games that had guaranteed five stars or the like and do you know what happens? They make my brain turn off entirely for the starting content because they are usually demonstrably more powerful than anything else I have and the early game content wasn't designed around them. Even 3rd Impact, which I tried to get into now that it's on PC, has this problem where early on, they actually throw so many 5 star characters at you that you have to pick and choose between them instead of literally anyone else they give you early on. It's overwhelming but it also makes any curve of power just vanish as suddenly you are tackling content already meant to be easy with a character you don't have to think about with.
Ratio (and admittedly a lot of things about Star Rail) avoids this by being a character that requires characters who can work with him to function. He DEMANDS thought and in a way that leans into Star Rail's greatest strength: The fact that team comp matters. I could do an entire blog on how I think Star Rail is genuinely a breath of fresh air for turn based combat but this really is the big one for this blog. A new player is given this new five star who not only demands intelligence as a character trait but also for gameplay purposes. Can't figure out how to make him work? Then his gift is wasted on a fool like you. Maybe find someone a bit more your speed?
And as a Seele main who's only 5 star they used (besides Trailblazer) for over a month of play was Seele when the game came out... I wouldn't have wanted to be given Seele for free. Seele is a great character but she is monstrously powerful, even when played poorly. I don't even hyper carry with my Seele and I can tell you that she'll wreck house for a LONG time just on her own. She doesn't showcase the depth and strategy of the game, especially early on, and so a new player would just think that the game is simple and basic. They'd get bored with the character they potentially see as their win button and move on to a different game.
And for those stubborn enough to go "No, I am using Ratio!" then he becomes a goal. Not only does every limited 5 star that comes out suddenly look all the more appealing if they do debuffs (Boy was Kafka a fucking perfect pairing with Ratio's banner btw) but every four star is all the more exciting because hey, do they do debuffs? How many? How efficiently? How can they fit into the dream team that made me first get into the game?
Just by existing within a player's roster, one way or another, he raises questions about the game that ask the player to dive deeper into the mechanics of the game than they would have otherwise. Makes them think more about the early game, when it's going to be at its slowest, than most mobile games would ever even risk doing until they can hope sunk cost is keeping you there. He's not just a shiny trophy but an actual hook into players, old and new.
Frankly, if I had to say anything critical about choosing him, it's that he's just not had any good content associated with him. I think his quest, especially post 2.0, will mostly be a let down for any new players who came in partially because of him, especially if they decided to force him as their main. Admittedly, he's the like ONLY good thing about that quest (I could do a blog just about why that quest is bad) but even he doesn't get to shine in it. Penacony hasn't done him any favors either with his brief appearance so far. His writing is very strong though, easily some of the best of the smart characters in Star Rail, and his personality is interesting even in those appearances so they're not all bad, just that they could easily be disappointing to those new players who had to wait a while to get to see their boy in story.
But I suppose it had to falter somewhere. Hoyo has a tough act to follow if they ever give out a free five star for Star Rail again and keeping it in the realm of those who are simply intelligent, rather than having pulled off something only a genius could, is befitting for the good doctor. Have a good day everyone and until next tale.
======+++++======
I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!
I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.
A Twitter you can follow too
And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.
21 notes · View notes
slocumjoe · 1 year
Text
Nsfw headcanons but, like, not horny. Potentially "gross"
Cait; So much pubic hair. It mats and needs to be shaved off, has broken razors and shavers. Has gotten dangerously close to clipping her labia. Prone to acne down there, and prone to UTIs. Nothing wrong with that, we don't body-shame here. See a doctor though, that can't be comfortable. Gets way too hung up on topping and being a top. A lot of kinks are a hard no for her, no matter what side of it she's on.
Curie; Doesn't get...horny? But still likes sex, if she ever has it. It's the same kind of enjoyment you'd get from, say, roller skating or something. Probably has said "This is fun!" in bed conversationally, with no ~heat~. It's very clinical, but Curie likes clinical stuff. If you refer to parts incorrectly, will correct you. Hope you weren't into dirty talk. Knows more about sex than you and God help you if you take a patronizing tone with her.
Danse; Erectile dysfunction, and struggles to get it up even if he's DTF. Nothing wrong with that, we don't body-shame here. He doesn't really notice anyway. Very worried about consent and what you want (good!) that he ends up not doing anything without being explicitly told to (can get tiresome). Please just make him be a dead fish bottom. Needs intense aftercare/cuddling every single time. Angry/hate sex would legit traumatize him, not trying to be funny. It would fuck him up in a bad way.
Deacon; Also has a bit of ED, but is more embarrassed about it. He knows how easy and fun sex is when you're able. Likes role play but it always goes off the rails. Sex with Deac has plot twists and third-act breakdowns. Its fun, but don't go into it requiring an orgasm. He's now invested in the story he's crafting. Skin is...pretty unpleasant to touch. Very leathery. His genitals have undergone lots of different operations even when he wasn't changing his sex. On one hand, will change it to suit what you like. On the other, feels really weird.
Hancock; Also feels really weird. His body fluids are irradiated and unsafe to...be around, really. Don't swallow. A condom is needed for safe sex, in a major way with Hancock. That and some rad-x and rad-away. His dirty talk is always too much for whatever you've got going on. Likes his sex spontaneous but also really worried about consent. Ping-pongs between 'lets surprise them' and 'if I so much as move their limb weird I deserve to die.'
MacCready; Smaller side. Nothing wrong with that, we don't body-shame here. He just gets...kinda hung up on it...he can also be pretty immature when it comes to sex. Like, cartoonishly so. Most likely to use hand gestures and charades to refer to genitals. Giggly in the bedroom. Ultimate sexual fantasy is being kidnapped by the Mistress of Mystery and Silver Shroud and...'interrogated.' JO'd to assaultatrons once. The post-nut clarity on that one, oh boy...
Nick; has to wear an oven mitt on the one metal hand and a plastic glove on the 'flesh' hand. The flesh hand attracts dirt and filth like nobody's business and doesn't wash easily. He is not sticking that thing in you. Basically needs a condom for his hand. Will quote poetry at you and its 50/50 if its weird or lands. Lacks genitals, so you've only got voyeurism or wireplay to satisfy him. I do believe DiMa has a dick though; why else would he wear pants?
Piper; her periods are nightmarish. Needs so many pads. Always ends up bleeding through. And it's never just one little spot. It fully looks like she crushed someone's head between her thighs. Has gone with that story before. Needs a lot of lube for penetrative sex, and God help you if you try to use your hands with dirty nails, or your mouth without brushing + flossing. Really insecure about how she smells and tastes. Girl. That was bullshit before the nukes.
Preston; takes so long to finish, often doesn't. He's chill with it. Doesn't make noises during sex and its honestly kind if off-putting, even if his expressions line up. Has a lot of skin tags and moles around his thighs, and a scar from where a molerat almost ruined his bedroom habits, so to speak. Wears, like, three cups. Very low libido, once a blue moon is in the mood. Has a thing for prominent veins.
X6-88; Asexual. It's not a courser thing, a surprising amount of them have sex. Was really weirded out when he figured this out about himself, despite always lacking interest in sex. Except for porn. Porn is fucking hilarious to him. Gets really into analyzing what literary elements he can, psychoanalyzing the characters in the 'plot.' Would totally be into Fifty Shades of Grey and other hot-mess porn media. If anyone found out about this interest, he would commit a murder-suicide.
121 notes · View notes
elvenbeard · 9 months
Text
2069
Tumblr media
"Is this all there is to this life? Should be recognizin' myself in the mirror better each day, but instead I feel more and more like I'm lookin' at a stranger..."
Tumblr media
Vince ran away from home in 2067, aided by Jackie Welles whom he'd met the same year through a fateful coincidence. Jackie and his connections helped him gain independence from his family, and opened doors into a world Vince had so far only seen from far above and far away.
Tumblr media
From one environment of buzzing neon lights into the next, although a much less polished one, he ended up in Kabuki. There he stayed for the next two years to come. Drifting from one dissatisfying odd job to the next he tried to build a new life from scratch. In some ways it was a very freeing experience. On file, his birthday was a different one now, aging him up just enough to get his mother off his back. He started HRT, got tattoos he'd always dreamed of, dressed more how he liked without fearing repercussions. He even felt comfortable growing his hair out, dyeing it darker... And soon he began to only introduce himself as "V" to new acquaintances, a nickname and advice given to him by Jackie when they first met.
In other ways though he felt just as out of place in Kabuki as he did in Charter Hill, if not more.
He knew little about life on the streets, was overqualified for what his employers asked of him, and unhappy, underwhelmed with his living situation as a whole. He'd never had to survive on a budget, struggled to make ends meet, or worried about food and rent before. Even Jackie had no solution to these problems - and merc work would never be Vince's style, even if it meant easy money. "Easy" always comes at a price later on...
Tumblr media
Eventually, he ended up helping out at a niche tech store with ties to the Tyger Claws. It became the longest job he managed to hold before his pride got the better of him. After many heated arguments with the owner he decided to quit on the spot without much of a Plan B left. He had always done his best to stay away from trouble, gangs in particular, especially after a very unpleasant encounter with the Valentinos two years prior.
Despite his careful attempts to conceal his tracks though, keeping a low profile, and trying to make this new life work out for him somehow, his past began to catch up with him as the Unification War started to threaten Night City itself...
Vince through the years (2/9)
Welcome to more behind the scenes rambles! XD Today: Vince's cyberware and tattoos, of which many were part of him as of 2069 already.
Not too much intense editing required for this set, the lighting in that street is really nice as is with all the neon and stuff! Just off of Kabuki roundabout, where the tech store Vince worked at for the better part of a year was situated.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I did have some fun playing around with some filters for the glitch effect - it's not quite where I want it yet, but I was going for the kind of look V has on surveillance cameras in game, with his identity obscured and such!
During his time in Kabuki he didn't quite have the means that would have allowed for something similar. But still, he was keeping a low profile and taking a lot of not-quite-legal measures to obscure his whereabouts and identity as best as he could to get away from his mother.
Also, this is full headcanon territory and I'm not sure how compatible it is with Cyberpunk lore (I tried to find something online, stumbled upon an extensive cyberware listing from the 2020 rulebook and such)... but my personal headcanon for his piece of neck cyberware is that it's fashionware on the outside, but under the surface it's doing some hormone synthesizing and regulation for his transition. Y'know, a convenient alternative for the array of options we have in our time and age with creams and gels or injections. A one time solution installed in your body that from day one will just do its thing for the rest of your life, basically (with some checkups and upgrades throughout the years obviously).
Also, Viktor got it for him, installed and all, and while they were at it Vince was like "Vik, do you do tattoos, too? I have an idea for something..." and that's basically how he got his demonic grin neck tattoo on the same day xD
Also around that time he would have gotten the wings on his back done:
Tumblr media
Very symbolic and a little cliché, but he doesn't give a damn (and he doesn't know it at the time yet, but Kerry will love it xD). The whole "setting himself free" that year in all meanings of the word was very important to him. And by 2069 he'd completed the look with his chin and face tattoos.
Tumblr media
The trans-colours cyber-flower on his right shoulder was the first "proper" tattoo he'd ever gotten, shortly before running away from home even. The little, slightly crooked Ursa Major just below it was a stick-and-poke a "friend" did on him even before that, but he never had the heart to get it covered. It's awkwardly positioned and a bit wonky, but he still likes it as a symbol and reminder of his childhood. He had the dots filled in with rainbow colors a little ways down the the line though.
His left shoulder and the chest piece connecting both right and left followed a few years later! We'll get to that :3
27 notes · View notes
phaerlax · 4 months
Note
you as the WolfBoyGuy and me as someone who has just recently seen the puppy light, do you have any tips or what you'd consider Required Reading to get a good grip on writing wolf boys? moreso karu than garu just because i personally have a hard time writing dudes with as much bluster and "doesn't tend to default to conventionally agreed on niceties". i have (admittedly mild) torments I'd like to put him through >_>
Anon is asking me about blorbo... I have been training for this for so long... behold now the ramblings of a man possessed by two wolves. I'll talk a bit about how I approach writing Karu and then include some curated recs.
It took me some time to really get going on wolfboy fics; I also found it challenging to handle Karu's characterization. Two big reasons why:
Tsunderes are just difficult to do if you're grounded in realism. It's a very 'anime' archetype and people don't behave quite like that. This makes it harder to naturally reach for reasonable/appropriate responses when putting the character in situations. The big want/think/say/do splits can also complicate straightforward scenarios (e.g. the character wants something and does what he needs to do in order to get it. This path is often closed to the tsundere).
The game gives little insight into Karu's inner world. NU: Carnival is very dialogue-heavy in its narrative. When we do get introspection, it's often Eiden-focused. This means we basically never get to see the thought process that leads Karu to act this way or that, except in the rare instances in which he talks to himself (like in some H scenes when he goes "ugh it feels so good but-").
The style that I ended up developing for my angry wolf boy writings follows these principles:
Keep him silly. This is because I fundamentally see Karu as a comical character. Yeah, his personality can be traced back to traumas and there's a lot of interesting stuff to explore in that regard, but I am not personally interested in that tbh. The reason I love him is the wacky nonsense and ridiculous behavior that we see in the game. It was at first sight for me. I didn't need depth and I still don't XD Any advice and references I provide are skewed by that. I have a preference for almost never taking him seriously.
Mind his 'narrativization' tendencies. Karu is comically very enamored by the idea/narrative that he's a mighty warrior with many great skills who will conquer humanity and who should be respected and served. On some level, he knows this isn't entirely true, so he will sometimes (try to) avoid situations that would bring attention to his shortcomings. But most often he's trying to prove himself and get others to share his narrative. When something or someone reinforces the narrative, he gets proud, pleased or happy-flustered. When something or someone goes against the narrative, he gets annoyed and angry-flustered. He is very good at ignoring reality, however. Even though he'll seemingly take exception to every little slight, he moves on very quickly and pretends nothing happened. And though he's stubborn, he's also willing to surrender, cut his losses and 'try another day' when he's foiled.
Mix his narrativization with the narration a lot. This kind of free indirect discourse is just my style in general, but with Karu I find myself using it more intensely, to such an extent that the narration can get quite dialogue-like in how it expresses his thoughts. When I want to portray a 'tsundere stumble' moment, I sometimes make the narration interrupt itself as Karu consciously aborts a line of thinking that would lead him to unacceptable conclusions.
Let him just be rude for no reason and with little consequence. Karu's default way of addressing and dealing with people (other than Kuya) is rudeness. At best, he attempts some form of condescension in which the reason he's doing something 'nice' is because you're so weak and he's so awesome or whatever. Most characters seem to simply not mind his behavior and, again, it's usually played for laughs anyway.
Bibliography of Karu Studies
Keep in mind that many Karu fics are kuyaru, and Karu in kuyaru is quite different from the core of the character, since he's uniquely eager to please Kuya. Still, even kuyarus can have some nice insight.
who let the dogs out has a lot of juicy Karu inner conflict, and it even explores the ways in which such hangups make him outwardly grumpier. Due to kuyaru, it ultimately leads him to a place of submission, but his initial thoughts are very in-character.
Baser Instincts is a kuyaru in which Kuya gets to see the pups in a new light, because they help him in a difficult situation. It's another great source of inspiration for Karu struggling to express his feelings.
Bow Down! explores how he might react to Eiden letting him top, in a very true-to-character way.
Lonely at the Top is Karu/Dante, which means you get to see Karu at his prickliest and most insufferable, and how that can be managed.
A Matter of Pride is a good example of the 'concessions' dynamic that can be done in Eiden/Karu.
Goshujin-Ai is an older Karu/Yakumo and a good example of Karu feeling comfortable and doing the 'attempts at condescension' thing I mentioned before.
Slave number one, rub my chest again is me speculating on what it might look like for Karu to ask Eiden to do things to him and try to control sex.
Warden slander wolf Commander is probably a good example of the 'fine I give up but I'll get you next time' potential of Karu, as well as the kind of bleed-heavy narration I talked about.
Master, do you have another wolf besides me?! delves into Karu's potential for jealousy as a way of expressing affection. It's pretty canon-compliant because most of it is adapted from NEON Carnival.
There are many other fics in the Karufic Archive, but I think the ones above are among the best for the purposes of thinking about the writing.
Please feel free to talk to me non-anonymously if you ever want to discuss wolf boy content! As you can see I am cursed with thoughts and need places to put them. I'm also always very happy to do anything that I can to shepherd and sponsor GaruKaru content; if you go ahead with your impulse to write about them (please do) and want a beta reader, don't hesitate to ask~
15 notes · View notes
yiotarot · 2 years
Text
💌 Messages from your future self
Tumblr media
Hello, this is my third pick-a-pile reading and we will be seeing what messages your future self has for you. 
As always pick a picture below, take your time and focus on which one draws you in. And if it doesn’t resonate pick another one. This is a collective reading so might not resonate with everyone, take what does and leave what doesn’t.
If you want to book a paid reading you can do so here.
Pictures below are the paint palettes from my studio, 🎨 so pick a palette:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Future self currently: Ten of summers, Bliss: May you feel deeply and transcend (sea soul journey oracle)
Pile one your future self is full of love and surrounded by family, even though it's been a tough journey they’ve found their family and are now able to enjoy it. I feel like this is quite a long way away for most of you. It doesn’t have to be children, it could just mean you have a mixture of family and a support group that are there for you. There's so much love! You’re not afraid to be vulnerable, you’ve been treated with kindness and can get along with all generations. You know that those older and younger than you have different things to offer and they are both important. The grief you’ve felt has been carried with you and it made you deeply appreciate the ones around you. Your future self said that they are glad you took the risk to be open to love and explore those intense emotions. 
What you need to focus on in the present: Ace of spring, Third quarter moon: Adjustments are required (moonology oracle) 
You need to focus on that thing you want…you know that long dreamt vision. It's time to get creative and write down what you want. Journal, write down inspirational quotes or read books that give you an insight into what you need to learn to get you there. Make a Pinterest board, tape notes to your mirror so that you can see these reminders daily. Once you know the direction you want to go, take those first steps (no matter how small) and make it a reality. Use that passion and excitement to push you forwards. Adjustments are required, of course, to let go of negativity and whatever habits that are holding you back. Don’t get lost in the moment of how things are now, you’re more than capable of turning it around and bringing in good things. You just need to re-evaluate the situation and set a plan to move on. 
What you need to stop worrying about: Grace, Compassion: May you tend to the suffering (sea soul journey oracle)
Stop worrying about what other people are doing around you! Constantly comparing yourself to others is throwing you out of balance and not giving you space to figure out what it is you want. No one path is the same, everyones time is different and you’re running on a completely different clock to them. Look at what it is you need to work on, maybe some people around you make you more aware of those things…Take a step back, its okay to be vulnerable (with the people you trust). There might be some habits you picked up from others that isn’t helping you (acting out in fear etc), so it’s time to treat yourself with kindness in order to reprogram the way you act and think. Don’t let yourself suffer alone talk to trusted to people, it could help you see different perspectives and how you can work on certain areas of your life. Focus on yourself instead of others. 
Advice from future self: Nine of spring, dusk, Space: May your heart and your scope expand (sea soul journey oracle), Full moon in pisces: Balance spirituality and practicality (moonology oracle) 
You’re currently going through a low period and you’re being asked not to sit in it for too long and get lost. Look at the simple things in life and enjoy the small pleasures. This quiet time is ideal for you to work on yourself and re-evaluate what it is you want. Ignore outside influences and negativity, focus on the good. You’ve face many difficulties and its time to work through you’re recovery and analyse the triggers to help you overcome them in the future. Check in on yourself, keep a diary and self evaluate when its quiet. 
Give yourself space to breathe, clear your mind and expand your horizon. By taking the time to work on self-growth, you’ll be able to see your life as a blank canvas. There’s so much you can do, you just need to give yourself the time and energy to dream about it. Just make sure you’re balancing it out with taking practical steps towards your dream. Ne ideas and dreams are able to flourish when you give yourself space. 
Bottom deck energy: Page of winter
New perspectives and ideas are coming. You’re opening your mind to all the possibilities, what you can achieve. Re-focusing your energy on yourself. It’s a reminder to pursue the things you want and learn the skills you need in order to get it. Breaking the cycle. 
Messages: Little did I know. Always come back to you. I’ll always be there for you. Think about you. Written letters. Take control. Didn’t know my own strength.
Tumblr media
Future self currently: The star, Resilient: May your soul weather the storms (sea soul journey oracle)
Pile two, all that dreaming and hoping is where your future self is. They didn’t allow the set backs and obstacles to bring them down or make them bitter. They kept pushing, knowing that they were capable of having the life they desired. Your future self is expanding their horizon and dreaming more. They haven’t lost their curiosity or drive to succeed. They’re content with how things played out and looking up to bigger and better things. Wish fulfilment. some of you are also well recognised in your creative fields. 
What you need to focus on in the present: Three of pentacles, Ace of wands, New moon in Libra: A new romantic life begins (moonology oracle) 
You need to focus on expressing yourself and your creativity or new ideas/passions. Your dreams and desires might be a shared goal that you can collaborate with others. You don’t have to do everything alone, working alongside others even if its temporary can spark new inspiration and ideas that can help you create something new. Networking with new people that push you to pursue different perspectives and get you out of your comfort zone, might be the push you need to be seen in a new light. For some of you, you might meet someone romantically through work or collaboration. It could also be a mentor that helps you reach your full potential. 
What you need to stop worrying about: The sun, Balsamic moon: A time for healing (moonology oracle)
I feel like with recognition comes a lot of spotlight on you. There’s things you’re starting to pick up on or people are pointing it out. As creatives you are expressing your emotions in your work, so its understandable that people are asking about your experiences and thoughts. Just make sure you’re taking time to heal and not overworking yourself that you burn out. You’ll have both good and bad critics, don’t take this to heart but don’t let it go to your head either. As long as you look after yourself and don’t get carried away with this new recognition you will be alright. Stay humble and grounded. 
Advice from future self: Ace of Pentacles, Beauty: May you perceive natures artistry afresh (sea soul journey oracle)
Your future self is telling you to invest in yourself. You’re about to start a new cycle, one that can lead you to your desires. Look at where you need to put your time and energy, whatever you put in you get out. If you need to learn new skills, you can do it along the way. Plant the seed now and take care of it, watch it grow. There’s so much room for you to grow. Make a clear plan, research ways to get you there and connect with like-minded people who push you to be your best self. Stayed determined and be consistent with how you work, you can have everything you want if you have a concrete set plan. Make sure you’re keeping up to date with your goals and be open to new opportunities, tweaking those goals so you don’t miss out on what you want. May you see the beauty in yourself reflected in others, connect with people through your creativity. You’ll need to show your vision and passion in order to be really seen. 
Bottom deck energy: Six of swords
You’ll be moving into uncharted territory but this is a rite of passage. You’ll be releasing a lot negative things or people in your life (whether that be your choice or its forced upon you). You might be holding onto some heavy stuff that you don’t need to be holding onto, you’re shedding them parts of yourself in order to move on. This is needed for personal growth and getting the life you desire, its only holding you back from making progress. You know what needs to be released and what needs to be changed. This might be upsetting but its vital for you to cut certain things out in order for you to see clearly, somethings are clouding your vision. You’ll be stepping into the person you want to be. 
Messages: Stars shining so bright. Look inside yourself. I can make it. Been in the rough for long enough. You are everything. Wish on a star. Dreaming of you. Everyone stares as you walk past. Where are you now?
Tumblr media
Future self currently: Six of pentacles, New moon in Cancer: You and your love ones are safe (moonology oracle)
Pile three your future self is financial stable and in a position to provide for you and your family. This is something that you never thought was possible before but you are now seeing a new meaning to life. The hard work has payed off and you can enjoy it. You’ve struggled and gone through a lot of dark times but came out on top. This doesn’t just have to be money related, having money gives you the means to take a break and help others too, as well as taking time for yourself. You also like to give back to others or the community, you know how hard it can be to ask for help when times are low so you’re more than happy to help those in need. 
What you need to focus on in the present: Five of pentacles, Eight of wands, Wild: May you express all that you are (sea soul journey oracle)
You need to focus on movement. Currently you’re in a low period, money might be tight and you’re stuck in a lack mentality. You’re so focused on the things you don’t have that you’re not realising all the good stuff you do have. You need to shift your thinking and search for the steps to take you to get more abundance in your life. Don’t live in fear thinking that you will lose certain things, theres always opportunity to turn things around and you just have to make sure you have a set plan and a safety net to fall back on. Feel all the emotions, express them and use them to push you to find a path to get you to your desired life. Don’t let this lack mindset control you and prevent you from moving forwards, you need to make moves! Appreciate the good things and focus on what you can do to make your situation better now. Maybe have a gratitude journal where you can write down all the things you are grateful for. And if you need help, ask! (trusted people of course)
What you need to stop worrying about: The magician, Strength, Full moon in Aquarius: Show the world the real you (moonology oracle)
You’re more than capable of getting your desires…where you’re stuck in that lack mindset you’re not seeing what a master manifester you are. This mindset is like a cloak, not letting you reveal who you truly are. Shedding that layer and giving yourself the opportunity to dream will help you manifest. It’s like you think too much about what you want and see it as unattainable but it’s yours for the taking if you work for it. It’s going to be a long and gruelling journey but if you really ask yourself what you want and have a clear vision, you can act on it with setting goals. Think about that dream, you’ve already been through so much and you know you have the strength to overcome any obstacles or challenges that meet you on your way. 
Advice from future self: Two of pentacles, Accept: May you receive what is, as it comes (sea soul journey oracle)
Accept where you are currently at and take the steps, no matter how small to making your desires a reality. prepare along the way, make sure your ready and able to work around the things that don’t go your way. Welcome in the opportunities that weren’t planned and accept the best for you. As your shifting your mindset, you will need to balance the past you and who you want to be. Release and let of go of things gradually, it’s not healthy to radically change so start small but stay consistent. Accept what you can’t change right now and work on what you can, theres always time to make the changes later on down the line. It might feel like a juggle trying to balance everything when you decide to make some moves, drop whatever doesn’t feel right to you (if you can that is). Prioritise the most important things first and the rest can follow, ask for help if you need it. If you feel overwhelmed, take a break and look at what you can do to organise your life to make it easier for you to handle. I feel like for some of you there will be sudden thought or action you do that will just click for you, you’ll wonder why you didn’t try it before. 
Bottom deck energy: Queen of cups
You’re caring and kind to others. You might have people that rely on you for emotional support, the rock in a relationship. No matter what hardships, you should listen to your own intuition and act on your dreams. A lot of people learn from you and go to for guidance, maybe this could be what is holding you back in some respects. The notion of always being there for others instead of focusing on your dreams/desires. It’s good to be able to help people just don’t let it get in the way of you progressing in life. Now I can see why your future self is so adamant about giving to others, it’s just the way you are. 
Messages: Suddenly. Are you strong enough? You’re beautiful. Am I allowed to look at her like that? Back to you. 
Thank you so much for interacting/reading with my post, I hope it resonated for you. I wish you all the best in your journey :) Please don’t copy or repost my work. 
🌙 Yio
205 notes · View notes
itsbenedict · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
Just finished this game, which I played because my brain has been fried by work problems and I needed something to chill with, but mainly because @konec0 did the soundtrack and I wanna support what he's doing. Still appreciate you pitching in on Nepetaquest 2011 back in the day, dude!
Cuisineer is an arcadey restaurant manager game, and also an isometric hack-and-slash dungeon-crawler roguelike. You delve dungeons to get ingredients, you cook and serve those ingredients in your restaurant, you get money with which to upgrade things and get more ingredients and serve more food. Solid concept!
Does it work? Well... It's very cute, and very polished, but it's held back by some very strange design decisions.
In short... its primary and secondary gameplay loops clearly had a lot of love put into them, but the tertiary loop- the progression systems- are very weirdly balanced to the point of being almost broken.
Bad thing 1
The main problem: everything costs wood and stone. Everything costs wood and stone, and costs more wood and stone the further you upgrade things. But you don't get more wood and stone the further you get in the game, at least once your inventory space maxes out. Wood and stone give way to Magic Wood and Super-Stone of various sorts, which are required for stronger upgrades, but you still need big piles of the basic stuff and can't substitute the advanced stuff, and it's the limiting factor on every single purchase in the game except health potions and rugs for some reason. Combine that with sharply limited inventory space, and money from running the restaurant very swiftly stops mattering compared to how many times you've farmed the starting level for crafting materials. It functionally locks you out of what might be fun systems, like the decoration and furniture stuff- since doing anything cosmetic trades off against progression.
Bad thing 2
Also- in the dungeon-crawler half, there's not much advancement to speak of. You might think these resources could be spent to make you stronger, but... upgrading weapons is expensive and time-consuming and has extremely marginal rewards. Like, the starting weapon does 10 damage, and a fully-upgraded endgame weapon might do 15. The game seems to be trying really hard to avoid being an RPG and letting the player get stronger over time- the various mechanics for upgrading your combat capabilities are just not worth it, and the random weapon drops are mostly identical and do nothing but clutter your inventory.
(It feels like it's trying to limit progression so it can bill itself as a roguelike, even though that's not really what the game is on any meaningful level? Not a choice that really works for it as its own game, imo.)
Bad thing(?) 3
The game's combat is an odd duck. It's... very polished, and very compelling, if you use the one approach that actually works. There's nine weapons, but only a handful are viable with the way combat is designed.
Enemies have very short windows where it's safe to attack them, and are quick to punish you for bad timing or wrong positioning. Reminds me of a soulslike, almost. Healing is sharply limited, so you really need to be careful not to get hit by stuff- and there's so much stuff. Walk into a room, or too close to a room, and everything in it will instantly aggro you, including artillery enemies with long-distance ranged attacks. Problems appear quickly and overwhelmingly, so combat ends up being a case of... dodging massive walls of tomato danmaku and miscellaneous enemy projectiles as you charge into rooms full of enemies and hazards, trying to find one safe place to stand for one second while you hit one enemy for chip damage, over and over again until you gradually thin the enemy numbers and win yourself room to breathe. It's very intense and very fun once you get the rhythm...
...but some weapons just plain don't fit into that rhythm. Many enemies need to be consistently stunlocked to deal damage to them safely, and the reloading projectile weapons and slow hard-hitting weapons just can't do that, forcing you to take hits, which you can't afford to do. Narrow-hitbox spear-type weapons fare poorly against crowds of small enemies who can slip past your guard, which are Everywhere. There's a fun kebab weapon that lets you charge and dash around the stage, but levels are claustrophobic and full of hazards that punish you for doing that. As Chiyo Kumasawa foretold: the only thing you can rely on is your trusty mackerel.
There's also a weird and kind of funny tradeoff where... you can't meaningfully upgrade your damage, but you can roll elemental status effects that can give you some multipliers and useful passive AoE damage as you're dashing around trying not to die. But... these huge AoE elemental effects have very wide, obtrusive visuals that hide the enemies on the screen, and you really need to be paying attention to enemy animations so you don't get hit. It's a sort of unintentional tradeoff of defense for strength, which weirdly works.
Bad thing 4
The writing's kinda flat. You've been hoodwinked into taking on your parents' debt and running their restaurant, you have to pay it off- it's established pretty hastily and mainly ignored. The townspeople have very cute designs, but they're all kind of nothingburger characters whose lives revolve around the urgent need for you to deliver them lots of random food items for contrived reasons in exchange for recipes and stuff. Cast kind of comes off like some softcore smut artist's stable of OCs whose personalities were afterthoughts. Doesn't really go anywhere, the localization's pretty stiff, most jokes don't land... doesn't seem like there was a lot of effort put in there.
Good thing 1
I spill way more words nitpicking flaws than I do praising stuff, but I did enjoy this game enough to finish it, and it's not for no reason.
Firstly- the restaurant section. I have no complaints about the restaurant mode! It's polished to a mirror sheen, honestly. I'm given to understand the restaurant sim is a genre, mainly native to phones, and maybe this all works because it's cribbing mechanics from some more successful inspiration I've never heard of, but... it's just very enjoyable, void of potentially annoying cooking mechanics and letting you focus on queuing up dishes, keeping track of orders, and dashing around making sure everything is running smoothly. The balance job is very nice- the difficulty during lunch and dinner rushes is just enough to make you sweat a little as things ramp up, and they last just long enough to get the most out of the pressure without totally overwhelming you. Chef's kiss, no notes.
Good thing 2
konec0's soundtrack is real good! I mostly know him for his electroswing and HS fanmusic, but he can clearly pull off a wide range of styles. It matches the overall sound design really well and it's enjoyable to listen to. Excellent job there!
Good thing 3
The "final dungeon" segment does this very cool and fun thing where it combines the dungeon-crawling combat and the restaurant management into one challenging final exam where you have to survive combat arenas to scrounge up ingredients as you cook them up and serve them, which would maybe get exhausting in core gameplay but works really well as a challenge for the end of the game. Liiiiittle bit too easy in the first two rounds, but it's fine.
Good thing 4
I already mentioned this alongside the nitpicks, but: when the combat works, it works- the feel of it is satisfying, the challenge is well-calibrated, and the animations look great and convey what's happening well.
Good thing 5
Also the character art is very cute. Lot of fun designs there, even if as mentioned the characters they're attached to are pretty flat. The game's just gorgeous in general- the artists knocked it out of the park.
OH WAIT BAD THING 5
The game's cover/key art prominently features a squid that throws ninja stars! But there's no squid that throws ninja stars in the game! How the heck did that happen!!! Give me the ninja squid!!!!!
10 notes · View notes
rodismancave · 7 months
Text
A reminder to new folks because I feel I need to say this. It's a few specific rules and more of a 'this is how i roleplay' thing. It kinda got away from me fast but alas, I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable for any reason so I just said what I feel i need to say to make that happen.
My muse is mean. It's usually nothing personal but he is Mean if provoked. There is a line and it is Thin.
This extends to his friends, mostly as a show of ease around them and as jokes, its just how he is. a little jokey joke. he says things without thinking and sometimes that leads to misunderstanding or an otherwise "cruel" comment. He normally doesnt mean it like that (unless he does)
this account is like 80% crack. i am here to have fun and be silly. if you take me seriously and get offended by it then I'm sorry but frankly, I have stated this many, many times. I do roleplay serious stuff, I do focus on a little bit of storytelling every once in a while, but for the most part I am silly and quirky. My portrayal won't always be 100% ic, sometimes a little ooc is healthy, for the bit. I stay committed to the bit, always.
Of course. if he's mean to your muse and you don't like it then you can let me know and I'll tone it down. I'll never be an asshole to people I dont know are 100% down to it or who aren't familiar with how my muse acts. However, sometimes being mean is in character with my muse and theres no other way around it. But the more intense, "i want to cause psychic damage" convos I will always ask if its okay for my muse to go hard on yours.
Rodimus is aware of the multiverse. This does not mean he's aware of the history of each multiverse. He may be aware of them, briefly, but he is really not going to dwell on it much and if you expect him to know it he just. wont. He doesn't really care all that much. This is also to say that he may confuse your muse for someone in his crew because of looking alike, and will treat you as such unless proven otherwise.
There are no people who are "canon" to Rodimus' crew, not at the moment. The only ones who I can say with confidence who are in his crew are @weavingmemoir and @stealthfeline, who are also my muses. This is for practicality. If your muse is part of the Lost Light crew in general, though (brainstorm, whirl, megatron, etc) you can respond to my lost light posts as if you were a member of his crew, I dont really mind. Like I said: commitment to the bit, always. The bit is always funnier when more people join.
Don't pretend like your muse knows mine and vice versa without talking to me first. This is mostly about muses outside G1 and IDW, or even people in IDW that Rodimus never really met, as well as OCs. It isn't really towards muses who HAVE interacted with Rodimus at least a few times. It is Awkward having to figure that out, and I'm not particularly a fan of having to dig around for people's relationships to understand what's going on between your muse and mine.
I don't really care if your muse is banging another Rodimus, or anyone else from his crew. Like I genuinely do not care, and neither does he.
I'll always make adjustments if you ask me to. I'll create new verses to fit with your muse, but that requires communication first and foremost. This also goes for events, if you want in on an event just talk to me and we'll see about it together. My events are never 100% thought out because I like leaving space for other participants to have a say in what happens. I just think its fun, like a group project (but less stressful)
When interacting with me I ask to lay off on the quirky colors and varying different fonts in one single reply. I have a lot of difficulty reading things like that and it strains my vision and it gives me a headache. Just, always have the same font throughout, and if there are different fonts, please let them be at least readable. The standard tumblr fonts are fine, except 'lucille', and the small font tends to me specially frustrating sometimes.
This is a g1/idw based blog. I take stuff i like from g1 and stuff i like from idw and i slam it together until I have something I like. Rodimus does not like the prime title, he does not miss being a prime, and he absolutely does not appreciate being called one, unless its doing things for his ego or to make himself look greater than he is. He is an Ass.
14 notes · View notes
ofcoming4th · 5 months
Text
I'm doing this far too much lately. Saying goodbye to a friend I never met.
Tumblr media
The man in the striped shirt is Shane MacGowan, first lead singer and songwriter for The Pogues - the first Irish punk band anyone had heard of widely in the USA.
He died today, November 30,at the age of 65. With Shane if you didn't know him the first things you might think is, " Oh he passed pretty young" . If you did it was, "Wow he made it that long?"
Shane was a towering talent, a junkie, a poet and often a complete bastard. His own band had to put him out because of his drug problem and general arsehole behavior - supposedly he said, "What took ya so long?"
In the early 80's there were rumbles in the music magazines about a band who went by Pogue Mahone ( which my mom used to yell at people who cut her off in traffic). They had to change it to just The Pogues because too many people knew the same phrase and they could not get any television spots or be on MTV.
Elvis Costello was a fan and helped produce their first widely played USA album "Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash" in 1985. I was in my punk/proto New Wave phase at the time and was able to get someone to drive me to the nearest large city in order to buy the LP in a ratty little store next to a CBGB wanna be bar. I'll admit that the title was the big selling point for my immature self and I had no idea what to expect (as Mr. Joel said, you can't get the sound from the pages of a magazine, even if that magazine was CREAM).
The 5th track was "A Pair of Brown Eyes" and Shane's plaintive not quite on key voice caught me as he mourned the cost of death and hate while staying intensely human. On Side 2 was "Dirty Old Town" by Ewan MacColl. For an Irish American kid from a dying mill town who didn't even have a word for her sexuality the lyrics and Shane's voice put words to my experience even an ocean away from the trauma and violence of Ireland in the 80's. "Dreamed a dream by the old canal. I kissed my girl by the factory wall... " that was me, a bumbling scared girl in a tiny canal and mill town hiding to kiss a girl because it just made more sense even if I knew it would make life even harder.
And that album has never left my possession, changing formats but bringing me back to who I once was when I owned that first LP. Nostalgia is sweet when you know you will never have to be that self in that situation ever again. But good music is good music.
I kept up with Shane through the wild swings of his career and life . Though I don't think his post Pogues music was ever up to the level of those albums - "Red Roses for Me" to "Hell's Ditch" set the standard and pointed the way for bands like Dropkick Murphy's and Flogging Molly with the blending of Irish traditional influence and modern storytelling.
And he made it to 65,changing music, writing the song "Fairytale of New York" ( will somebody explain to me why this is considered a Christmas song staple? Has anyone besides me actually listened to the real lyrics which require cutting on broadcast radio? Just because Christmas is mentioned several times doesn't make this a happy Christmas song!)
I'll stop clutching my pearls and get back on track.
I needed to write this to just get my feelings out . Shane and the other members of the Pogues were the soundtrack to a vital part of my life where I found love, lost it, and found that love had never really gone , I just needed to get my self in good enough shape to accept it.
Thank you Shane, you magnificent, miserable , romantic, drunken junkie of a poet and music maker. Your voice is always in my memories of a muggy summer evening by an abandoned paper mill in Nowhere , New York.
If you haven't heard anything by Shane besides "Fairytale" go now and give a listen to " Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash" and its follow up "If I Should Fall From Grace with God".. You will see that even punk Irish bands during the IRA's height - with all the anger, sorrow and joy that life means, can make you want to get up and dance.
8 notes · View notes
bleachbleachbleach · 5 months
Note
B3 can I just say that the machinations of your mind fascinate me so…can you pls elaborate what you mean by 1970s aerospace corruption schemes reminding you of hitshina? cuz I’m out here trying to Google it at 10 pm out of pure academic curiosity. Thanks for sharing ur thoughts with us tho!! Love how ur able to connect things in bleach with stuff I wouldn’t have thought of otherwise like genuinely <3
It's true, this blog will see Bleach in absolutely anything. It’s not even willful; everything can and WILL be Bleach. We were watching the first Fast and Furious movie last night, and ended up talking about Bleach (i.e. the sexual renaissance Hisagi experienced on first sight of Lance’s snakeprint pants).
But for the 1970s aerospace corruption schemes, I was thinking about HitsuHina first and the 1970s aerospace corruption schemes came up as a result, rather than me independently reading about 1970s aerospace corruption schemes and applying them to HitsuHina. I feel like the connection here is probably of the “…needed to be there to make sense of this…” variety, but I have also been VIBRATING INTENSELY OUT OF ENTHUSIASM FOR ALL OF THIS since yesterday, so I’ll do my best to explain my thought process!
I’ll begin by saying that I don’t think Hinamori cares about 1970s aerospace corruption schemes, nor do I think she’d be able to come up with a reason why she should, if anyone asked her. As far as she’s concerned, she is going to visit her grandmother in Junrinan to bring news of her having made 5th Division Vice Captain! And she’s taking Hitsugaya with her, which will make this the first time they have gone back to visit together.
But first Hinamori has to do her job, because part of becoming a Vice Captain is waking up at 2AM on your day off to see if you have any messages that say “we were able to handle it, actually, you don’t need to come help!” and not finding any, and so going out to deal with that before your long travel day begins.
Okay, what IS her job, though. Why does her squad need her at 2AM?
And I was like, well, I don’t want her to have to trek out to Rukongai, because that seems logistically complicated. So I decided that in this time period, the 5th has oriented itself toward the Living World! Because Aizen is supervising field studies regarding the nature of souls’ perceptions of the afterlife and how many require konsou vs. not! (Or at least, that’s his interest on paper. He has some ~other personal investments~ as well, carrying over from his presence at the Trauma Field Trip.)
So the thing Hinamori needs to deal with this morning is that a soul was recently ferried from the Living World into Soul Society and, owing to the nature of its death, is FEROCIOUSLY clutching its memories and beliefs. It is not taking its number and filtering obediently into Rukongai like it should, and the last five hours of Hinamori’s poor subordinates’ shift have been failing to convince this soul do just… do that. Now it’s her turn, because she’s the Vice Captain and this is what you do.
What is the soul clinging so hard to, then?
Or, to back up: When do I think Hinamori might’ve become the 5th VC? Byakuya and Ichimaru become captains sometime post-1960s, which leaves Ichimaru’s previous post open for some amount of time. I want this story to be before Isshin’s disappearance, which is some point around 1980. So I was like, okay, let’s say 1970s, then. Again, not that such a date means a whole lot to Hinamori, but it means a lot to me in terms of set dressing.
So I decided, in the Living World, it is 1976, and this soul died trying to visit justice upon another, whom he believed had betrayed their shared ultranationalist beliefs and incited national shame (via 1970s aerospace corruption schemes).
I decided that in Soul Society, there is an additional level of protocols for souls such as these, where their life purpose becomes so entwined with the nature of their death, so as to result in statistically more complications on the afterlife end (and, often, a higher chance of developing spiritual power). These protocols come up even more particularly when a soul’s life purpose specifically taps into identities and ideologies bigger than one person, one soul—where the visions/desires operate at the level of the (ultra)national/societal, and manifest in a death so ideologically fraught that the symbolic weight of it cannot be left behind, even in the afterlife. (This soul became a kamikaze and flew a plane into his betrayer-comrade’s house.)
--This is not something Hinamori yet has conscious awareness of, but to be dedicated to purpose in this way makes for the kind of shinigami the Gotei would like to have, if also the kind of shinigami Aizen has variable respect for.
The only parts of this situation that matter to Hinamori are the parts that help her ease this soul into his afterlife, and convince him to take his ticket and keep walking.
Then she’s on her way to Junrinan, and her weekend in the countryside with her grandmother and Hitsugaya. But the ghosts that follow her, whether she is aware of them are not, are about the ideological commitments of vice-captaincy in the Gotei; the ever-changing nature of human souls as their world changes; A I Z E N, always; and the rapid emergence of one’s identity, either in periods of dramatic economic/cultural growth or in similar periods when one’s professional growth is entangled with one’s spiritual/shikai growth (increases in talent beget promotions beget situations that inspire further evolutions). In my headcanon, Tobiume expresses as a carrion phoenix, aka condor!Tobiume.
Hinamori and Hitsugaya talk about the nature of flight, which it turns out Hitsugaya knows something about, too.
Most of that is dramaturgy, rather than things that I’m expecting to make an explicit appearance in Hinamori’s Pleasant Vacation Weekend, but THAT is how I decided yesterday that 1970s aerospace corruption schemes were “so HitsuHina.” I am very excited about it!!
7 notes · View notes
Text
What if Arnav was 5 shades darker than how we saw him in the show?
After making my music edit, I cut and edited many Khushi Arnav scenes. After digging and digging, I realised that an already so intense character like Arnav could possibly be even more dark than what Star Plus showed.
What if
I don't like made up scenarios very much. Nor do I like to imagine IPKKND in an AU where Arnav is a doctor and Khushi is a nurse.
I always try to stay close to the og story in my wild imagination and only those scenarios which don't change the story are taken seriously by me. I like it original at best.
What if Arnav actually was darker than he already was?
The man who at the beginning of the show said
"Usool sirf bevkoof logo ke liye hote hai"
When Anjali talks to Arnav about their mumma he says
"pehechan bhi nahi pati mujhe"
What sort of things has he done for him to not be recognisable by his own mother whom he loved so much?
What if writers could write as they pleased.
My imagination:
1. Arnav has done many shady things in order for AR designs to reach where it is today.
Arnav started his company from scratch. It reached its success very fast. This could not happen without malpractices. What if he really refused to involve "principles" in his business? What if he bribed politicians for favours? What if he captured lands by manipulating the system? What if his factories are not following the obligations required to operate it sustainably? What if AR designs isn't concerned about the damage it causes to the environment by producing fast fashion?
2. Dating shallow and shady women on purpose to meet his physical needs.
We have seen Arnav dating women like Lavanya kashyap, Lisa (allegedly) and Sheetal. These women were definitely not lovable when it comes to their nature. Lavanya did turn out to be a good person but, the Lavanya kashyap that ASR dated, was very Shallow.
What if Arnav Singh Raizada associated with such women because, he knew he could easily dump them without feeling sorry. Because, these women deserve it? Associating himself with cruel women just like himself. Not worthy of Love.
3. The extent of his cruelty. How deep the waters are?
Arnav is shown to be cruel. He made his uncle homeless without a penny in his pocket (though he deserved it). But, can we take a minute and think, how Arnav was so cruel to Khushi? A girl who has literally not done anything to him (not on purpose at least) and he knew it.
A man who can be this cruel to an innocent lady, just how much worse he could do to someone who actually did him dirty?
Did he ever financially destroy someone? Forced someone by blackmailing them to meet his purpose? Threaten someone if they didn't obey? Trap someone in some sort of debt?
4. Shyam deserves worse than being jailed and Arnav knows what is worse.
Arnav Singh Raizada never forgets, never forgives. We have seen him living a life full of betrayal and hurt. He kept scratching his wounds himself to remind him of his wrongdoers.
A cruel and darker Arnav Singh Raizada, if not having Shyam killed, can do many other things to make his punishment more unbearable.
Did he have the police be brutal to Shyam in jail? Did he bribe the jailors to beat him more at times? Did he make sure Shyam never gets a single chance to present himself as innocent in front of the law? Did he personally go to the prison to beat him for Harassing Khushi?
Did Arnav make sure that all the kidnappers were given a very special treatment within the confines?
5. Arnav's dark and wicked plan to take revenge from Khushi for having an affair with SMJ.
Let's all be honest. Even our current Arnav Singh Raizada could do worse to Khushi for destroying his sister. What will the darker ASR do?
Arnav Singh Raizada was falling in love with Khushi. Khushi was reciprocating. He was ready to accept his "Farak" and tell her "kyu farak padta hai" but, Khushi betrayed him and at the top of it, was destroying his sister's marriage.
What if ASR had continued his "love angle" to fool Khushi to Trap her into marriage? He continued his love facade, made Khushi fall for him, until he married her. Only to have her see his cruelty after their marriage? What a horrifying thing would that be?
A betrayal in return of a betrayal.
"she fooled me and now it's time to double it to return"
His Nafrat was forced but, he knew exactly what would hurt her.
5. Arnav Singh Raizada had deep desires to possess Khushi.
Darker Arnav Singh Raizada was still capable of wanting Khushi regardless of a betrayal. He held strong desires within. He could smell her from afar, he could sense her presence without even looking. He could hear her movements as she walked by, readied herself, changed her clothes, washed herself, stretched within the bedsheets, and breathed.
A dark desire within him was to have her love him more than Shyam even if she was his sister's enemy.
He had suppressed his dark desires of wanting her. The eye locks and accidental falls were only testing him. Her clumsiness had become his misery. His greed was only increasing and the dark desire to get on his knees to present himself to his captive was intensifying each day. Arnav Singh Raizada was weak against that woman's sex.
6. Being a better person wasn't easy.
Current Arnav Singh Raizada changed for Good. He wasn't as sad and disturbed as he was before. He could be lovable, less cruel, less egoistic and less angry.
Darker Arnav would take very long to recover. Being in love with Khushi, having her accept him as her husband made Arnav very happy. Finally, getting the love of his life was a dream come true. But, Arnav became too dependent. He was too attached, he fell way harder for her to an extent that it was unhealthy. His love was very intense, and his issues with temper still needed some work.
He had issues. They still disturbed him. Getting angry at times, shouting and saying cruel stuff in fit of rage was not all gone. Regretting things after saying them, still persists. He needed longer to heal.
7. You are mine. Even if you are engaged, even if I am not telling you that I love you.
Selfish. His love was selfish. Darker Arnav wanted to control Khushi. He wanted her to be in his control even if he didn't have the rights.
He could not afford to accept his own surrender to his feelings, but, he could sure confuse Khushi. Remind Khushi what he can give her, how he is far superior to any man she will ever meet. Now this is something we have seen him do in the show. But, the level can be increased.
A.He bought Khushi an engagement gift (expensive) to show off his wealth and secure future.
B. He would especially get cozy with Lavanya in front of Khushi to make Khushi jealous.
C. Not respecting physical distance between himself and Khushi even after knowing she is engaged.
D. Getting crazy jealous over the thoughts of seeing her with someone else. To the point of childishness.
E. Getting a sense of relief upon hearing about her broken engagement.
7. Darker Arnav would end up kissing Khushi on Diwali.
OFCOURSE. Current Arnav was about to kiss Khushi but stopped because of a phone call. We must acknowledge that he would have kissed her if it weren't for the phone to snap him out of his trance. If Arnav was written even darker, there would never be a phone call at the very first place.
Rather, it will be Khushi herself who will snap him out of his drunkenness. Khushi will end the Jadu and Nasha. We must know that Khushi is the light to Arnav's darkness. We can never have Khushi be painted as a seductress who stole Arnav from Lavanya and hid it from her.
Arnav will feel rejected first, and guilty second.
He would regret trying to kiss Khushi because, he thought Lavanya was wronged, also because, Khushi meant a lot to him and would never ever want her to be the other woman in his life. Not like this, not when he wasn't someone who deserved her. He will get enraged, return to lavanya and announce his engagement. Rest we know.
8. Darker Arnav will probably capture Khushi's lips rather than cheek on Payash mehendi.
Not hard to imagine. He will definitely go for the lips.
9. He was definitely sexually involved with women before Khushi.
I think that was the original intension of the show too. They just didn't show it openly because, the channel changed and Desi audience can't digest it.
Definitely, he had sex with Lavanya. He definitely hooked up with Sheetal. And definitely had a non committed, mutual friends with benefits relationship with Lisa.
10. Habits. Hobbies
What if He had managed to have a poison? Except for plants.
Smoking? Liquor? Participating in auctions? Betting on horses? Attending glamorous parties? Maybe occasionally going to casinos?
Overall, falling for this Arnav is far more unhealthy than the current one. This one looks like some character in a Wattpad story. But, I think ASR of the OG ipkknd was a lighter version of this Arnav which he could be if the pens were left lose a little bit more.
13 notes · View notes
sylvie-fics · 2 years
Text
PART 5 BABEY its the dissen dyna
context you may need: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
Side story relevant to Y/N. (NSFW)
As always, you can read it as a oneshot if you'd like.
The gist: Viktor doesn't know what love is but damn he about to know rage and jealousy whoopsie daisy
Word count: 1.3k
Warnings: references to prostitution, lightning related injuries, human alteration/amputation.
Minors DNI
It was astonishing– how truly comfortable you’d gotten around this man… machine…. Machine man. So much so that you had no problems slamming the door on him. Not the door to his house. Oh, no, you slammed the door to his room. There he stood in his workshop/main-room area, amazed that you had the audacity to lock him out of his own bedroom. He could easily unlock it, each door had a spare key above the frame. Still, it was clear you currently had no interest in talking. 
Honestly, he had no intention of sleeping that night anyways. He very rarely did, even in his days when he was ever-so-slightly closer to humanity.
Maybe he should have told you his name wasn’t Harold sooner. Or– perhaps he should have waited even longer. Just to see how long you could go believing that.
You, at this point, had flung yourself down onto his bed– which clearly had not been used since your lightning incident. How embarrassing. In your many months of knowing him, not once did you ever take the initiative to ask if his first name was actually Harold, and last name Themachine. You felt as though the laughter was well deserved, but gosh how it hurt your ego.
Being wrong, generally, was not your specialty. 
Being wrong was not Viktor’s specialty, either.
He considered a few ways to cheer you up. Maybe chop off one of your legs and replace it with a much cooler, more upgraded version. However, that required that the two of you interact– and that was out of the question right now. 
He settled for giving you personal space.
…though he did consider your ‘for my inevitable death’ suit design, which was absolutely doable.
Hours of self loathing eventually lulled you into a deep sleep. While the whirring of tools was not your favorite lullaby, it didn't particularly bother you. 
It always seemed like there was never a clear passage of time in Zaun. Sure, those occasional peeks of sunlight might signal daytime, the streets were far too dull. You wondered– is this something people even think about in Piltover? Or do they live their lives always knowing the difference between morning, afternoon and evening. Was that something they even cared about? 
You pushed those thoughts aside as quickly as you pushed the door open, letting it slam into the wall with a loud thud.
“Viktor.”
Oh shit.
He didn’t understand how one single word could cause him such inner turmoil. You had said it very… intensely. It made him feel sick, and yet aggressive. Like he wanted to run and fight all at once. This was an emotion he couldn’t ever recall feeling. 
Whatever this feeling was, he despised it, and it had to be pushed away.
“Sleep well, (y/n)?”
He asked with a sense of caution, as though he was unsure of what to say. He didn’t turn to face you, he couldn’t bring himself to. Instead, he continued to sit at his desk, and pretend to work on one of his gloves– which he seemed to have been upgrading throughout the night.
He wondered if you could sense his inner turmoil, and chose to torture him. In those few moments, you had already sat yourself down atop his desk, and grabbed his exposed hand.
He felt…vulnerable.
And yet, not in danger.
“So, you’ve still got a little bit of human under all that metal? I wonder if…”
That thought was never finished. Though he wanted to ask, he didn’t. In some way, he knew hearing it finished would bring back that horrid emotion.
“I’m surprised you’re not pulling away– Not that i’m complaining, it's just… not like you.”
It wasn’t like him at all, and it confused him just as much. He couldn’t remember the last time he had that sort of physical contact, and a part of him wondered if this would be the last time he would ever feel such a thing. If so, maybe it wasn’t a terrible idea to indulge. Just for today.
“I take it this will be my only opportunity to give you a palm reading.” you said, tracing the lines on his rough hands. 
“This one,” you said, tracing across one of the lines, “is your health line. Yours is. Well.To put it nicely, its severely fucked up.”
“Ehh, not so much anymore.” he interjected.
“ Oh, and the headline– that one is about mentality or whatever. Yours is more indicative of logic. Mines more on the creative side. Of course, nothing wrong with either.
.
..
Well, that ones interesting.”
You gave a devious little grin, and a sinister giggle.
“What is it?” he asked, amused by your sudden change in expression– and slightly nervous from it too.
“Viktor– you don’t know? That's your love line. Viktor, oh my… I didn’t take your for that kind of guy~”
There it was again, that feeling. He desperately wanted to end the conversation, and keep it going at the same time. A sense of nervousness and dread filled his mind. Your words had the power to be both water and poison.
 Though, when considering himself, he could not imagine that anyone would think of him as water. More so, that anyone could think of him positively. He was more a creature of shadows and solitude. It had always been his comfort, perhaps from being raised in a shadowy home land. Those days in the light only proved how little he was cared for by the other beings. He had always been the poison.
And something– though small and quiet, hidden deep within him– hoped that you would say he wasn’t destined to be a creature of solitude forever.
Of course, you gave up your facade soon enough, laughing out a meek,
“I– i’m not actually sure what it means. I never learned anything past health and mentality.”
Quickly followed by,
“But I’m sure your’s means something good, probably! You’ve got lots of great qualities, so it’s nothing to stress over.”
That feeling….
“I mean, look, you’re super smart. I think the suit is a cool look, personally. Kind of dark and mysterious, that's totally some people's type.”
You’ve pulled your hand away, and he desperately wants to reach out for it.
“I mean, you never know when you’re gonna meet your person, y’know?”
No. Simply, Viktor would not ever meet his person, because there was no such thing. He had wasted far too much thought on these frivolous feelings. He had work to do, and progress to make. This anxiety he felt about you was just… it was… surely nothing.
“Who is your person, then?” he asked, moving his mouth before his mind.
All you did in response was laugh.
“Please, I’m sure you have plenty of men that would gladly–”
You cut him off before he could finish the line. 
“Of course I do. God, I could be Piltover's best little trophy wife. I’d have a terribly comfortable life, with fancy clothes and meals. My little gremlin children could go to fancy schools. I would live a perfectly normal and comfortable life.  I'm sure it would all be great…”
Yes, this was what he needed to hear you say. Something that would break that hopeful feeling that had been forming all through these months. Something to make it go back into its cave, where it would be comfy and cozy in its lifelong hibernation.
“Great for someone else. I don’t find that lifestyle particularly entertaining.” you finished.
“Is that so?”
“Mhmm, I’ve got this one client that has cash for days. He’s sweet and all, always feeding me and trying to ask about life. But, mehhh…”
“Not your kind of guy?”
You weren’t the kind of person to give out information about your summer work. Specifically the identity of your clients. You had a strong sense of privacy when it came to others– but in this moment, you had let your guard down, and made a mistake.
“I don’t know. Jayce might be alright if he could change his view on people from the undercity.”
47 notes · View notes