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strongheartneteyam · 6 months

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[ credits of the Neteyam pic go to cinetrix ]

Champagne Problems

Part 6

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x female!human!reader

CW: a lot of angst, tension between neteyam and reader, heartbroken neteyam, sexual tension, heartbroken reader, insecure neteyam, jealous reader, neteyam just won't leave reader's head, hurt/comfort (?), TRIGGER WARNING for some sensitive themes like reader showing signs of low self steem and not thinking she's worth it, friend group dynamic among reader, adeline and kate, kiri being sweet, reader misses neteyam and regrets dumping him, reader thinks she's protecting neteyam from hurt by staying away from him, spider makes an appearance, kiri being protective over neteyam's feelings, reader tells kiri she likes neteyam. Tell me if there's more, pls.

Here I come, finally updating this incredibly angsty fanfiction :') I hope y'all enjoy this. Writing this fic breaks my heart, guys… it feels raw, honestly. Maybe I'm just speaking like this bc I'm on my period + I'm listening to a sad Taylor Swift song but omg my heart aches rn

Not proofread. I'm sorry, babies, I'm dead rn. So freaking sleepy and finishing this at 5 am bc my mind just wouldn't let me sleep and kept forcing me to think about and write this chapter.

Part 5: The sand hurts my feelings

𓇼

It hits different 'cause it's you

I used to switch out these Kens, I'd just ghost

Rip the Band-Aid off and skip town like an asshole outlaw

Freedom felt like summer then on the coast

Now the sun burns my heart and the sand hurts my feelings

And I never don't cry at the bar

Yeah, my sadness is contagious

Hits Different (Taylor Swift)

𓇼

"Hey." Neteyam greeted you in a dry tone. He found it hard to look into your eyes so he just gazed rapidly into them and then kept his eyes on the ground.

His heart was broken, aching and his pride was shattered. Neteyam hated to see everybody around him looking at him with pity in their faces, knowing that he had been dumped by the girl he loved. He wondered if the boys - Lo'ak, Rotxo and Ao'nung - looked down on him now. Neteyam suddenly felt like he was not a good hypothetical mate. He had always thought he would make a good, reliable and loving mate to the girl he would one day choose to be his but you made him start doubting that after last night. He knew it was probably stupid but still he couldn't seem to get rid of those feelings.

You tried to hide your uneasiness but it was written all over your face.

"Hi." You answered Neteyam, your heart pounding in your chest, anxiety leaving your hands cold.

The pain you were causing Neteyam could be easily seen in the way his jaw clenched, in the way he weirdly looked insecure instead of confident as he always seemed to be. You wanted to say "I'm sorry", you wanted to say "Maybe I did the wrong thing when I refused to become your mate" but you had seen him with Munì. It was useless now, anyway.

Lo'ak looked at Neteyam, then back at you and then he would redo the whole thing all over again, like he was waiting for the both of you to exchange more words. Poor thing. He seemed even more tense than Neteyam and you.

"Rotxo, Ao'nung" Neteyam rapidly called, looking now at the Metkayina boys "Tonowari is waiting for us. Clan business." His voice was serious and seemed slightly annoyed, his face stern

You wondered if Neteyam said "clan business" instead of giving more detail because you were sitting there too and he was mad at you. Well, you didn't blame him if that's how he felt. You deserved it. You could have been nicer to him this morning.

"Let's go!" Lo'ak spoke loudly, like he was trying to get out of that awkward situation as fast as he could

"Chill out, forest boy. We're going." Ao'nung teased and Rotxo laughed

"I'm Metkayina now, fish lips. Stop calling me that." Lo'ak responded

Frenemies indeed.

The boys left and your gaze was fixed on Neteyam's back as he walked away next to the other Metkayina. As you looked down at the beach floor, you wished that ache inside you would just vanish but life doesn't work that way.

When you looked up, you saw Tsireya's and Kiri's big feline eyes fixed on your face. It scared the crap out of you. They seemed even wider now.

"What?!" You sounded legitimately startled

"Neteyam told me and Lo'ak he was gonna ask you to be his mate at the party." Kiri stated

"And how the hell did every person in this tribe find out about that? Did he tell them too?" You didn't mean to sound rude but you really were overwhelmed by the situation

"It's just me, my brother and Rotxo. Only we know, other than Kiri and Lo'ak. My stupid brother overheard Kiri asking Neteyam how it had went, what answer you had given to Neteyam and he told Rotxo. I saw them laughing like idiots and asked what was so funny. That's when Ao'nung told me." Tsireya said, like she was sorry about the fact that so many people knew about yours and Neteyam's intimate business

𓇼

The day after that, you and the girls went back to Hell's Gate. You decided it was better to leave things the way they were. To let Neteyam have a nice, healthy and proper relationship with someone of his own kind. Like your father always used to say, na'vi and humans will never be equal. But he meant it in a derogatory way, with prejudice against the na'vi in his words while you meant something totally different. It was just natural that na'vi would marry other na'vi, not a human. The differences between both cultures did not just speak loud, they actually shouted like a mad person. You knew you could never get accustomed to being a na'vi male's mate. Not even if that male was Neteyam and just thinking about leaving him behind, thinking that you felt absolutely nothing for him, made you feel a burning, painful sensation in your heart. And of course Neteyam would be better off with an emotionally stable mate. Munì seemed perfect for him.

You totally did not feel anger boiling inside your guts anytime you thought about her stupid smiles and giggles back when she was talking to him at the beach. She would make him happy and you were totally happy for them. The next step for you would be actually believing the words you just thought.

𓇼

One month and a few days had passed. You felt grateful that you had been able to dodge all the demands to go conduct scientific researches on the Metkayina tribe that you had received until now, asking to exchange positions with colleagues and staying in the lab, doing paperwork instead. You were doing everything in your power to avoid Neteyam. But you could never seem to be able to avoid the pain that washed over your body and the tears that wanted to come out - but never actually did because you were always strong enough to hold them back - whenever a sad love song started playing in your earbuds or in one of your friend's phones. It seemed like every fucking dumb love song reminded you of him.

After Kiri sent you a message almost begging you to go visit her, making you feel guilty and saying that she missed you a lot and now that she had her own marui, you just had to go to the reef and see it, you couldn't say "no". She was being too adorable and you missed her too. You asked Kiri if Kate and Adeline could come along and she excitedly agreed, so, the three of you used your next couple of days off to travel to the Metkayina beach again. It was a blessing that Neteyam had traveled to the Omatikaya tribe to see his grandmother Mo'at and was gonna be gone for a while, as Kiri had guaranteed you.

Kiri always had a very human side to her, just like Lo'ak. Neteyam didn't even seem like he was half human at times. He was extremely proud to be na'vi and wore his indigenous culture with honor all over himself. You could never see Neteyam asking to have his own place. He was too attached to his family - and you thought that was extremely cute. It wasn't traditional amongst the na'vi for an unmated young girl to leave her family's marui like that but Kiri was clever and she found a way to get what she wanted out of her parents.

𓇼

Adeline, Kate and you woke up as early as the Pandoran skies got clear and dragged your sleepy and tired asses to the Metkayina tribe. Being a scientist would never not leave a person overworked and exhausted. Like most mornings, you had drank way too much caffeine already for such an early hour in the day.

"Girl, how do you always look so beautiful? I could never." You pointed out as you watched Adeline make two thin braids to frame her round, delicate face and put her black curly hair in a voluminous bun on the top of her head, while the both of you were inside the science team's helicopter, heading to the Metkayina reef.

You had always found Adeline extremely pretty with her dark skin, voluptuous figure and feminine style. She always made sure to look cute.

"I don't know. I guess I'm God's favorite." She joked around and the both of you started to laugh

Adeline was also funny. She could put a smile in your face anytime, even when you were sad. You considered her a sister from another mother.

"You guys are stupid." Kate teased as she was laughing too and holding an energy drink filled with caffeine in her pale hand. She'd drink those often to help wake her up.

Kate's long, blonde, wavy hair fell gracefully over her chest. Her eyes were blue and she was tall and had an athletic but slim body. Damn, you only had breathtaking friends.

𓇼

Kate and Adeline had decided to take a nap after lunch in Kiri's marui and they asked if you would come too but you refused as you were far too restless to be able to sleep. That beach brought back too many memories…

So, now you found yourself sitting in the sand, watching the ocean waves break as they hit the shore with Kiri by your side. She had managed to make you say the truth about why you seemed so troubled.

"Yeah, (y/n), you fucked up big time." Kiri stated with that aura of wisdom beyond her years that only herself knew how to effortlessly exude.

You wanted to dig a hole in the sand under your feet and jump inside of it, hiding and never coming back up again. Of course you'd fuck it up with Neteyam. You had a cursed tendency to self sabotage. You did not know if being so freaking aware of it made you better or if it actually made you worse.

"Are you mad at me?" You ask nervously with furrowed eyebrows

"(y/n)! It's not my feelings that you should be worried about! It's not my heart that you broke." Kiri scolded you as she looked at you with those big feline yellow eyes like she was actually horrified. You felt so bad for thinking it was kind of funny. "I know you don't wanna be Neteyam's mate but do you not care about him at all? Not even a little bit? He hasn't been the same ever since you dumped him and left. Poor thing can barely go train with dad. I think I saw him sniffing while hiding one of these days. Eywa knows that prideful teylu" (edible Pandoran bug) "would never cry in front of us."

"I swear I didn't mean to be cruel. I just did not know… how to react. It was sudden, you know? It's like, I don't know… a cultural shock? Humans don't go around asking people they just met to marry them. Or… become their mates." It would never feel normal to say "mates" to you

Apparently you had acted just like Kat Stratford in 10 Things I Hate About You, when she would cold heartedly refuse Patrick Verona over and over again. You used to always watch that vintage movie with Tracy. It was one of her favorites.

"Don't act like it was the first time you two had met. Neteyam stared at you all the time when you came to our tribe. I swear to Eywa I've never seen him nervous to talk to a girl before but you have a power over my brother… it's fucking crazy to watch actually. He's like a needy, dumb dog drooling over you when he looks at you. It's even freaky." Kiri couldn't hold it back so she burst into laughter, hiding her mouth with her big but delicate hand

You were nervous as fuck but you started to laugh too. It seemed like the nervousness and guilt and tense vibe of the situation only made it worse, making everything even more funny and absurd.

"You know the worst part of it all?" You looked at her like a child who just broke their mom's most precious vase

"Great Mother, don't tell me there's more." Kiri said, incredulous

"I think I like Neteyam." You confessed like you were a good catholic girl confessing her sins to a priest

"You like him?!" She almost screamed

"You don't need to declare it out loud for the whole reef to hear!" You got slightly mad

"You teylu!" She smirked as she moved her head from side to side in disapproval "Why the hell did you dump him then?"

"I don't know, Kiri. Don't judge me, okay?" You put both your hands over your face, hiding it and moving your head from side to side yourself this time.

At least you knew your attitude had been controversial and confusing to say the least. They say the first steps to recovery are realizing and admitting you're insane.

𓇼

It was now eclipse. You were inside Kiri's home with her and your human friends. Kate and Adeline were finishing unpacking their bags.

"Guys, I'm going out for some fresh air, okay?" You said, trying to find an excuse to get out of that marui filled with girls - human and na'vi.

"You've been acting weird lately." Adeline pointed out "Spending too much time alone."

Kiri discreetly looked at you with a look of concern in her face, as she was the only one of the girls who knew the reason behind your strange demeanor.

"I just need some air. I'll be back soon." You spoke as you walked towards the door of the marui

"Don't go in the ocean! It could be dangerous!" Kate yelled. She was the "mom friend" of the group.

"I know!" You laughed "I'm not stupid. I'm a scientist too. But thanks for your concern."

You walked through the beach for a while, trying to take a certain tall, handsome blue alien out of your mind when you saw Spider walking in the area too. He waved at you and you waved back.

You weren't as close to Spider as you were to Kiri and Lo'ak but you did love his company.

You sat on the sand with him, looking at the ocean, just like you had done with Kiri earlier and you two started to catch up and eventually the talk got deeper, more philosophical.

"Don't you feel crazy, Spider? Living among beings of another species? Don't you feel… left out?" Your eyes looked at him with genuine doubt in them

"I do, sometimes." He sighs "Especially because of how Mrs Sully acts towards me, at times" the both of you laughed quickly "But this place is my home. I was born in Pandora, I know nowhere else that I could call home. And also, I grew up around Lo'ak, Kiri, Neteyam and Tuk. They're family to me, even if not related by blood. It doesn't really matter in the end, family are the ones who are there for you. Not your bloodline."

"Oh my God, I totally agree!" You rapidly say in a slight loud tone, chuckling, like you wanted to emphasize how much you shared the same opinion with him

"So..." You pondered if you should tell him or not "Neteyam talked to me last-"

"Yeah, I know. Ao'nung told me." Spider interrupted

"Of course he did..." You rolled your eyes and sighed. So everybody knew already...

Spider chuckled softly.

"Anyways, Neteyam calls me tawtute. I think it's funny that he calls me "human", but in na'vi"

"Yeah, that's him being affectionate towards you. He likes you. A lot." Spider pointed out

You stoped smiling and your heart started feeling painful.

"He probably hates me now, actually. I totally blew it off. I was really insensitive towards him." Shame and regret covered your face, as you were crestfallen

"Have you ever thought about apologizing?"

"Yeah, of course I have. Many times. I just…" You hesitated "I guess I can't face him now."

"Oh, c'mon. I know you can do it. Isn't it worse to be feeling guilty and sad and let Neteyam think you don't feel sorry for hurting him?"

"You have a point, Spider. God, I hate it when you're right." You laughed and slapped his arm softly, in a playful manner

𓇼

Adeline and Kate slept peacefully next to you, each one of them in a different mat - but the three mats had been placed next to the other. You, on the other hand, hadn't been able to sleep well in almost two months. Kiri told you and the girls she was gonna stay up and she now was, at the corner of the marui, making herself a new beaded necklace in the light of a tiny fire she had lit up.

As you laid quietly in your mat with your eyes closed but wide awake, you heard footsteps inside the marui. You could not believe it when you opened your eyes and you saw it was Neteyam. His tall, slender figure and head full of thin braids that danced in the air as he moved made you recognize him immediately, even in the dark of the eclipse.

Damn! Wasn't he supposed to be in the Omatikaya tribe right now? And what the hell was he even doing here instead of going to his parents' marui?

𓇼

Taglist:

@iman-lu

@leaveitbythewave

@creepytoes88

@live-laugh-neteyam

@swaggygurlbae

@neteluvr

@layla2-49

@a-blog-name-2003

@lala-1516

@jakesullyfatjuicypeen

@yeosxxx

@iaratezaewa

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hypervoxel · 2 months

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Jumble of headcanons in no particular order about Vark because I need to write them down somewhere to pretend to be organized

He started off sooo cute and tiny, like the size of a guinea pig. And he made laser noises like a baby Cuban crocodile.

He was so so tiny. He did not stay tiny.

Sharks sense electricity! He's naturally drawn to Vox when Vox is taking in or letting off too much power. He naturally interrupts Vox's overstimulation and warns about seizures, so Vox trained him some actual medical alert tasks.

Service shark Vark 🐕‍🦺

On the topic of electricity, I also headcanon him as having some aspects of an electric eel as well. A fantasy eel. He can take in some of Vox's excess energy, and isn't bothered by the sparks Vox throws off.

I'm chewing on the idea that Val bought Vark for Vox as an apology gift.

Now I'm just quoting myself directly from discord: I keep thinking of how I can include this (Vark being a gift from Val) in my one fanfic where it obviously does not fit bc Val hates Vark in it. Maybe he's jealous that Vox cares way more about Vark himself than the fact that Val gave him a gift. So unappreciative, didn't even have make-up sex over it bc Vox was too busy practically having a breakdown over how adorable Vark is. Val realizes that this was a mistake and he should have picked a very different gift instead

Vark is such a well behaved good boy when he's working, as a service shark. When Vox is in distress, Vark is so focused on trying to help with all the power of his tiny shark brain <3 Outside of that tho? He's a terror. He's so excitable. He canonically (in the old Voxtagram art) jumps on and knocks people over. This ties into him previously being a tiny adorable little thing. It was sooo cute when he jumped on your leg, back when he was the size of a large potato. It stayed cute up until they realized he was going to be so much bigger than they ever expected.

(It's like a bottle raised bull. The cute things they did when they were a little baby calf are no longer cute now that they're so large they are going to hurt you on accident just trying to be friendly and playful. RIP.)

Other service dog tasks for Vark: deep pressure therapy (of course. Interrupting behaviors such as when Vox is getting overwhelmed. Blocking to stop other people from getting too close to/touching Vox when he would shock them. I am forgetting so many things and will continue writing this list later

Vox doesn't do public access with Vark. This ties into my headcanons for Vox that he is deeply ashamed of himself and he cannot let anyone know he has problems ever.

Unfortunately, I am evil. So I also like the idea of Vark as an owner-trained service animal who is hmm not the perfect candidate for the job. In the same way shepherds aren't recommended for anxiety work, he can feed too much off of Vox's own emotions and has issues with guarding aggression that at times cause him to become reactive. (*points at my fanfic where he bites Val*)

I love bad representation.

Alsooo I don't like hammerhead sharks or animals that are too cartoon-y for me to understand as a real creature, so I'm making up a new design for Vark

Based on a Bonnethead Shark! Fun fact about Bonnethead Sharks: they are omnivorous! They eat seagrass :)

So Vark is omnivorous but unfortunately he's also like a tiger shark in that he'll eat anything even if it's not food. Tiger sharks have been found with license plates, tires, and other trash in their stomachs (sad)

Don't ask Vox how many times Vark has needed emergency exploratory surgery after eating something he shouldn't have. He doesn't want to talk about it.

Vark chews on wires like real sharks biting at undersea fiber optic cables. Chomp chomp

When Vark was a tiny baby, Velvette dressed him up in silly little outfits to post online. She doesn't do that anymore because he has mostly outgrown his cuteness stage for her: she only thought he was cute when he was little.

#oh that was NOT supposed to post yet #i am bad at editing my drafts apparently :/#vark #hazbin hotel vark #hazbin vox #Vox #i do not know if he has a standard tag that we're all using‚ i just wing everything i put on here

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alexxncl · 18 days

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‼️NIGHTBRINGER LESSON 31 SPOILERS‼️

masterlist | lessons | lesson 30 | lesson 32

normal and hard

now idk about the rest of y'all, but it took me a minute to make this choice. i was stuck between not knowing and thinking that he won't. there's a slight chance that he'd tell them in the instance kayden hadn't tried to talk to him and explain, but they did

levi cares too much about mc to let anything bad happen to them. he knows that if he tells one of his brothers, they'll tell lucifer. once lucifer finds out, he'll be furious, and not only that, he'll be terrified

lucifer masks his fear with anger, like we've seen him do in season one of nb and multiple times in the og game. this also makes me really like the peacock theme throught his demon form; they're big ass, scary ass birds who try to show up other birds by flaunting their feathers to make themselves look better. but instead of lucifer doing it for mating tactics, he does it to protect himself and his brothers from any harm that could come their way

leviathan knows this. he doesn't want mc to get hurt, even with the possibility of him never seeing them again looming over his head constantly. he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he caused anything bad to happen to them, especially if it turns out that he had the wrong idea about their conversation with solomon and that all his anxiety was for nothing

also the clock ticking in the background during this scene ??? impeccable tension building on the game devs' part. we're running out of time to make pacts with everyone, and solomon and mc both know it

goofy ass sticker chain 😭

mc 🤝🏽 me

blowing up people's phones when they ignore me or don't answer within 5 seconds

see i was also thinking lotan

but what if it just means they're all gonna have a crying fest once kayden has to leave for good??

...it's probably lotan

what if it's both? AND lotan? and a long awaited reappearance of henry the snake 🫶🏽

baby no :((

i wish he realized his worth more, but removing yourself from a cycle of self-deprication and self-loathing is easier said than done

i think he's feeling guilt on top of his already expressed betrayal and self-loathing. he doesn't think he deserves all the care and patience mc is trying to give him, and he hates the fact that they keep trying to talk to him when he won't budge. he thinks they're wasting time by even trying to be around him because it "doesn't matter" when he's not around, or, at least it shouldn't in his mind

this is even worse than what i thought initially MY HEART

and it hurts even more bc levi might not have been able to say this if he was face to face with mc. he's never said anything quite like this to them in all the screentime he's had when he's being vulnerable around mc

imagine if he hadn't heard the conversation between them and solomon? mc leaving him would've hurt so much more bc he wouldn't have had any proper reassurance from mc to tell him that they love and care for him as much as he loves and cares for them, if he even thinks they feel that strongly about him at all

i guess it was lotan. well

also ending a lesson like that is insane but i digress

me 🤝🏽 mammon

adhd twins

THE LOVE OF MY LIFE IS BACK i can die happily now

but why is she talking like chloe from miraculous ladybug (iykyk)

also we STILL haven't made a pact with beel after that hassle of an angel trial i'm sick

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cal-kestis · 4 months

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hi nik, happy new year! i was wondering if you had any tips for scene selection because your blending/choice of scenes is always so pleasing :) thanks for all your help!

hi!! happy new year <3 ah thank you so much! i'm terrible at explaining blending bc i tend to just slap stuff on top of each other and hope for the best sldkfjlksd but i'll try to give a couple of tips using the miles set i posted today!

tip 1: choose scenes that match your lyrics/quote if you can this is my usual first step when choosing a scene bc i want to emphasize the themes of my set. i worry later if it's even photoshoppably possible to blend them lol. for the gif i'm using as an example, i wanted to convey a sense of anxiety and contemplation, as well as show a moment where miles was surrounded by the "everyone" mentioned in the quote

tip 2: map things out before spending too much time on the final if you screencap like me, you know this is the most tedious step in gifmaking 😪 so instead of screencapping a bunch of potential scenes for 20+ min, just grab one frame from each scene you might want to use, and test if they'd be possible to blend. i layer them, resize them a bunch of times, move them around, until i get something i like and seems doable in gif form. then, once you know it's possible, you can screencap the whole scene and make it into a gif. these are the static images i played around with before coloring or fully screencapping:

(i also like to map out my typography beforehand sometimes!)

tip 3: choose scenes with large sections of darkness or solid colors when you blend with "screen" mode (as most gifmakers do), it means the light area of scene A will be visible over the dark area of scene B and vice versa. i like to choose scenes that look like silhouettes, scenes with large portions of solid colors, or scenes where the main source of brightness comes from the subject's face. here's what each of my scenes looked like before and after coloring, so you can get an idea of what i'm trying to manipulate for a smooth blend:

tip 4: use a soft brush to erase bits you don't want i almost always erase some bits from blended gifs! especially if it's intersecting with a focal point of my gif and causing a distraction. sometimes, i even use a levels layer to darken things and then paint over the layer mask to create the darkness i need as explained in tip 3

i think those are my best blending/scene selection tips! again, i'm super bad at explaining this particular effect. but there are tons of amazing blending tutorials on the usergif resource directory you can check out too! i hope this helped a bit! :)

#nik.help #ask #anonymous #photoshop help

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certifiedcodbabygirl · 2 months

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Hello !! I’m here for the CoD matchup !! -feigned 💌

-I’m Asexual, i’m attracted to all genders as well!

-My personality type is INFP-T-

-I’m relatively average in height, around 5’6/5’7

-I’m not a very loud person, I tend to avoid conflicts, and I’m quite the people pleaser at times

-I have social anxiety and often struggle with loud noises + crowds

-I’m a bit introverted when it comes to meeting people, and awkward, but when I get to know someone I tend to be more open, and crack more jokes with them

-I have various interests, but I really like studying up on niche subjects, my favorite being mycology!

-I also don’t have any preferences when it comes to looks / gender of my partner

(Tried to keep this short for u bcus i know those long matchup asks can be a pain 😭💌)

I'd match you withhhhhhh

Nikto! (I'm sorry if you don't like this one)

Just so you know, I try to write him as realistically as possible, but this is just my interpretation. He's a character, and has no solid set-in stone personality.

that being said, here you go :)

Okay so I know a huge chunk of people getting a matchup end up getting Simon (i think it's because he's really popular, and not bc they actually match up good) when someone says they're quiet or an introvert, but from what you've told me, I think Nikto fits better for you.

A bit of important backstory for him:

He was a deep cover agent for Russia's Federal Security Service but on a mission he was taken by someone named "Mr. Z" and was tortured. His face and body are covered in scars, extremely so. He wears a mask to cover his face, always. Due to what happened to him, he developed Acute Dissociate Disorder. It shows a good amount in his voice lines. He refers to himself as "we" a lot and talks about how he hears voices.

"I hear enough voices, I don't need another!"

"Nobody hurts our friends and gets away with it!"

He's a very "get shit done" guy. He does make some dry humor jokes though.

Due to how he always is hearing someone talk (in his head) I think he would really appreciate someone who is quiet. Not that he wouldn't want to talk to you, but you being on the more quiet side definitely helps him adjust. You being able to find a creative way around some of his struggles would help a lot. For example; Where a lot of people would be like "why don't you just stop saying we instead of I", which would cause a sort of tension between them and him, you would let him refer to himself as "we" but you would continue to say "you" as a subtle grounding.

(Just an example, not a solid thing)

I feel like he would really like your niche interests. It's hard to truly keep his attention outside of work, especially if they're just common things. So if you were to be reading a book on fungi in Russia, he might see that and be like "wtf?" and interest might be piqued. Idk I feel like he wouldn't really be interested in things unless they were niche (that's where you come in!). He'd probably make some dry as joke that isn't even that funny, but his blank stare and dead delivery would be hilarious.

You both struggle with social anxiety and don't like social settings. He's a soldier, so he has ways to sort of deal with it. If you're really uncomfortable or are worried something will happen, he's right there with you with a hand on your back (it also helps him ground himself when the thought of something happening to you pops up). He's very loyal to those who actually get through to him. Say you're talking to someone who is making you uncomfortable. He'd probably just say something to you, in front of them, like "we're leaving" and just bring you with him. He's socially,, idek. He's awkward. Not in a shy way, just a "wtf are social rules" way. He means well, have mercy.

Once he gets close to you, and realizes he wants you in his life, that's it. Unless you try to take his mask off without his permission, or betray him, he's staying. He loves like a dog. A feral, hungry, desperate for scraps dog. You know the ones. The street dogs that will fight anyone and cling to you when you give them bread. They're still aggressive, just not towards you. Just a bit rough around the edges.

I see a lot of people writing him as sexist or homophobic, but I really don't see him that way. Honestly, I think what happened to him really changed how he thinks. I think a lot less means anything to him. He has to go fight in literal wars, who gives a fuck abt who wants to be with who? Who cares about women wanting to be independent? I don't think he cares. He barely talks to people as is, why would he care about what they do?

I can almost guarantee that if you get hurt, he's gonna take care of you. He's used to the major injuries (broken bones, deep cuts, etc) so he might think he needs to take care of your small ones the same way. He's trying. He cares about you. He's learning.

One thing you'll never need to worry about is him cheating or leaving you. He very rarely lets people in, and never thought he'd find love, but he found you. You're his, he's yours. Simple.

As for sex, not even an issue. I think he could either be hypersexual or asexual. Let's go with asexual for this matchup. I said he cares about a lot of things less than before his torture, and I mean it. A common occurrence with PTSD or just being recently traumatized is lack of interest in things, and that can include sex. I think his sex drive is basically nonexistent. He might jack off, but that's really so there aren't physical issues. It takes him a really long time to warm up to touches, even if they're kind ones. Sex wouldn't even be on the table. If you don't pick up on this, and tell him you're asexual, he'd probably shrug it off. He'd probably just say something like "me too" (after you explain it) and that would be that.

Learning to cuddle or initiate contact would be an interesting experience. He probably would stiffen up when you hold his hand for the first time. But after a while of gentle touches and soft words of how these are safe touches, he'd grow to like them. It would take a while, but he'd get there.

He cares. He wants you, and he'll do his best to do good for you. No relationship is perfect, but growing together is a big part of them.

#call of duty modern warfare #cod x reader #andre nikto x reader #nikto x reader #nikto x you #cod nikto #cod matchup #call of duty nikto

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 months

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AITA for sharing a locker ?

So i'm in a new class since early September and i don't know anyone in it. I didn't take part in most of the class-bonding activities (like parties) bc of social anxiety + other personnal stuff, but i try to be nice to everyone and fit in when we do stuff together.

We always stay in the same classroom and we have lockers in it to put our stuff. However, there are only 10 and we're a class of 12 students. Some of the lockers are still being used by the older students so we actually have 6 or 7 lockers for all of us. The lockers are also pretty big so all the students who claimed one decided to share it with someone else.

I once stayed late at school bc i had the keys to the classroom and i had to wait until everyone left to close it, so i was alone. I had a lot of stuff i didn't want to bring home but all the lockers were claimed or full. However there was one that was claimed by only one person instead of 2, so i put my stuff there (making sure it didn't touch the other student's stuff) and added a temporary label in case i needed to move. (Note : despite the name, the lockers dont and can't have a lock on them. We're supposed to only put non-valuable stuff in it).

The next day, the girl comes up to me and tell me she noticed i put my stuff in her locker. I tell her that it was the only one available, and other students tell her they also had to share. I tell her i can move my stuff if she wants but she tells me no.

Later in the day, she comes up to me again and tell me that another locker is free. It wasn't, there are stacks of paper that take up most of the space in it + i'm pretty sure it's meant to be accessible to the entire class. She was very insistant on the fact i can move my stuff to another locker so i gave up and moved them to the only other not-shared locker, which is the teacher's (who i couldn't ask if i was allowed since they weren't there).

I didn't store anything weird in my locker except a notebook (bc i take notes by hand instead of on my computer) and some craft supplies that can't spill or cause any problem. The lockers are also very big and i can't think of anything that would require the entire space. Even the big sheet of paper you buy at the craft store would take less than half of it. Also the stuff she put in her locker was some paper and some pens, nothing valuable.

So, was i the asshole for sharing this locker without asking first (and offering to move later) ? I thought it wasn't a big deal considering they're not locked + everyone was chill with sharing with someone else but her reaction makes me doubt it.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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bonesandthebees · 6 months

Note

How to make my readers cry, please, if you have any tips

uhhh honestly I don't know how I make my readers cry lmao, there have been many times where people tell me they cried at a chapter and i'm like what why bc I didn't think it was that emotional

but I can share my tips for how to make a scene emotionally resonate with your audience!

when it comes to writing emotions I always try to ground them to something physical. whether that's using a metaphor to connect the emotion with a physical sensation (anxiety buzzing under his skin, anger burning in his chest) so the reader can better connect to it. so when you're describing something very upsetting, do the same thing. (a pit had formed in his stomach. there was a hollowness in his chest where his heart should've been). tie the sadness the character is feeling into something the reader can connect to.

and that goes for expression emotions as well! if your character is crying, describe the burning in their eyes and the taste of salt on their lips. describe the way their chest aches from their gasps for air in between their sobs. that kind of stuff.

or you can also focus on the way your point of view character interacts with the thing causing them pain. like if someone died, talk about how they grab their limp hand and beg for them not to leave them and sob in their chest when they don't get a response.

I hope that helps! focus less on the words describing the actual emotions because emotions are a very abstract and difficult to explain thing. instead focus on the physical sensations tied to those emotions :)

#ask #anon #bones writes

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elsfairy · 1 year

Note

Also, i don't see that many headcannons of Sevika with an autistic gf so I'm going to write it, babe. It's so sweet and heartwarming it's gonna give you a cavity and heatstroke. At least, how I think it'd go down based on my experience as an autistic person:

-since her gf carries a backpack with all the lil amenities she might need (like headphones, stim toys, glasses, a heavy sweater, meds, snacks, water, pens, notepad, etc.), Vika carries it for her a lot of the time because "it's too heavy for you, I wanna carry it".

-I don't like holding hands, i get clammy and it's just uncomfortable. So I can just picture her holding on to Sevika's elbow junction or sleeve instead. Gf probably needs to hang on to Sevika bc of the sensory overload Zaun sometimes causes and directions disorienting her (i can tell from experience loud, bright places with many people have lead me to one too many anxiety attacks/meltdowns, even if I know the place).

-OMG SEVIKA HELPING WITH WEIGHTED PRESSURE THERAPY. 😭😭😭 Like, asking Vika for hugs or to squeeze her sometimes to help regulate her anxiety or sensory issues. I would sell a kidney for this to be me.

-when they cuddle, Sevika basically substituting the weighted blanket. She's warm, she's heavy and her heartbeat is soothing. No more comment on the matter.

-Vika coming home to her gf burrowed in 3 different blankets lmao. Me

-Vika keeping a lil notebook with her for when her gf goes non-verbal, so it's easier to communicate. Specially if she's getting overwhelmed. It's a glitter pen and she loves said gf's handwriting.

-if gf's feeling averse to touch that day, the cold of the metal hand is more comfortable to hold on to.

-as I said, Vika might have hearing loss. With a gf who is averse to some noises, specially loud and complex noises, those two might end up resorting to sign language.

-basically sharing a closet with Sevika, even if said woman's clothes are too big for her gf. Sev's clothes are so soft and comfy, her gf will wear them casually. Meanwhile, Sevika is wearing a xxl pink hoodie, with unicorn ears and everything, belonging to her lil gf bc said gf kidnapped them all.

-y'know how I mentioned the nerdy gf rambling about the stuff she's interested in? Exactly that but more specific like "did you know there's a type of shark that's basically concentrated piss? If it's cooked wrong, you can end up drunk." "I'm sorry what." "Yeah, and since it lives for up to 500 years, it takes 150 for it to sexually mature." "Babe, that could never be me"

-sleeping way more than Sevika, to get enough REM sleep. So she's used to her gf laying her head on her arm if she's getting too tired. She has so many pics of you cuddling on her pillow while sleeping.

-is extra patient when talking with her gf, and gently helps her articulate sentences when she's having a hard time structuring her thoughts.

-when Vika lost her arm, she did all the research she could to help her cope with the loss and the phantom pains. Her being the only person capable of convincing Sevika into going to therapy every once in a while. Making sure the professionals helping her with her prothesis and everything are treating her well and that she's as comfortable and as happy as possible.

-they each have their rooms for when they each need space, as both have a strong temper and get overwhelmed/triggered for different reasons. Both are welcome in eachother's rooms, but it's a symbol of understanding y'know??

-Sevika being careful and watching out for the smell of alcohol or cigars to not be too strong, as the last thing she wants is for her gf to avoid kissing her. Her gf loves the smell cuz she associates it with being happy and with Vika, but strong smells feel like her brain will pop.

-this one is a bit more personal to me: Vika punching the actual daylights out of anyone who says her gf is "too much" or that "her problem is she can't be fixed". Her gf is perfect for her and she'd rather kill someone than make her gf feel like she needs to change or fix herself.

I'm kinda sleepy so this is all my yearning-obsessed lil brain could conjure up at 10:30pm. Also, I have 0 romantic/erotic experience so these are mostly based off of what I'd wish it'd be like lmaoo. I hope you like it, have a lovely night. Might write more later on.

THE WAY I SMILED LIKE I HAVE A FUCKIN CRUSH.

tbh, I've always wanted to write about Sevika having an Autistic gf but I also didn't want to fuck anything up so I just never write it. I would hate myself if I wrote something that was not correct. I do however love reading what you write though.

pls, sevika carrying your backpack for you:(((( god, she's just so fucking precious and loving I want to cry. Genuinely, I think she would take such great care of you, yk? If she knows you don't like holding hands, she is completely fine with whatever part of her body you would hold onto, holding her elbow is so fucking cute PLEASE IM GOING INTO OVERLOAD

(replying to this while listening to slipknot is not fucking helping me LOL)

Please, hugging sevika sounds like a fuckin dream. Can you just imagine the way she lightly wraps her arms around you?? just to calm you down if you're feeling anxious??

Can see her being a human heated blanket. I won't make any more comments. Yall know.

"-Vika coming home to her gf burrowed in 3 different blankets lmao. Me" UHM??? WAY TO CALL ME OUT IN THIS TOO LMFAO.

"-if gf's feeling averse to touch that day, the cold of the metal hand is more comfortable to hold on to." you've woken up my soft side, why would you do this to me??? now I just want to hold her hand. But I agree. Also, because I have no idea, is that like a soothing mechanism? to hold onto something cold? i need to know

I need to see someone write sevika and sign language:(((( like I just... since I thought about her being illiterate. I can't get it out of my head :(((

"-basically sharing a closet with Sevika, even if said woman's clothes are too big for her gf. Sev's clothes are so soft and comfy, her gf will wear them casually. Meanwhile, Sevika is wearing a xxl pink hoodie, with unicorn ears and everything, belonging to her lil gf bc said gf kidnapped them all." THE WAY I GIGGLED. I CAN SEE HER IN A PINK HOODIE WITH UNICORN EARS. STOP THIS RN. WHY AM I FLUSTERED???

God, she would be so patient with you. Like you don't understand my love for this woman. She would literally be so soft, gentle, and slow with you. I also love a rambling gf, talking all the time and she just looks at you with a smile :( yes, i need it right now.

"Babe, that could never be me" i love her sob

The bedroom part, yeah i can understand that 100% and honestly? I don't think she's the type to rush you if you're not feeling okay. She will let you have your space, but she's still there does that make sense? not there right in your space, but around??

Fuck, sevika beating someone shouldn't be this hot. You need to relax before I start blushing again. With my whole heart, she knows you're amazing and perfect, but protecting you is always going to be her first thought when someone talks shit about you.

I'm sorry it took me a while to reply :( i hope you're sleeping well, or slept well <3

YES SEND ME MORE, I LOVE READING WHAT YOU SEND. i also want to learn new things <3

#my asks #sevika x you #sevika #sevika x reader

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thelost-in-time · 2 years

Text

Hi, Anon, just a note before we start. I'm sorry, but Tumblr posted my unfinished thing for me, so I had to start it from scratch again so it's not posted half completed. That's why the ask isn't shown as an actual ask and it is a screenshot. Other than that, I'm sorry and I hope you enjoy this nonetheless

Hi, Anon! You absolutely can, dw ^^ Also, I hope you don't mind, but I've added Xiao and Zen for my own comfort reasons

I'll just separate each character with some sort of dividers, so it's no problem ^^

Hey, I'm here, okay?

How Childe, Diluc, Xiao, Saeran, Saeyoung and Zen comfort a reader with anxiety.

Warnings: Anxiety, panic attacks, mental breakdowns, mentions of drowning and suffocation (comparison only), chest pain because of anxiety. Mysme is inaccurate bc I only finished Jumin and Jaehee's routes.

Reader is gn

Disclaimer: Everyone's anxiety is not the same. My anxiety may not be like yours. This post is based on my anxiety and how I hear my friends talk about their anxiety. Do NOT attack me over this. If you don't like how this turned out, move on instead of attacking me over it.

Genshin

Childe

He knows anxiety because he was in the Abyss at one point.

And he does have a family he needs to protect.

You have anxiety, but how severe your anxiety gets completely depends on your situation.

Sometimes your anxiety gets so bad that it's like you're drowning in an ocean, begging someone to save you.

Childe will be the one who will help you.

He has younger siblings, so he's learnt to be intuitive with the emotions of the ones he loves.

This includes you.

As far as Childe is concerned, you are part of his family.

Part of his world. I'll see myself out now.

So when Childe sees you placing a hand to your chest with a look of discomfort after a certain situation.

Chest pain caused by anxiety.

He knows.

He's quick to act.

He leads you away from the situation and pulls you into his arms, embracing you.

"Shh, it's okay, my love. I'm here. I'll try to help you feel better."

Anytime Childe sees your anxiety starting to build up, he has his gentle hold on you.

Hands caressing your arm, your back or your hands.

He's trying to help ease you a little.

If someone gave you a panic attack, then they'll come face to face with Childe's blade.

He is merciless to those who give you panic attacks, unless you ask him to show mercy.

"My love, how about later, we play with Teucer? He adores you."

Offers you anything to help you feel better, and Teucer's antics are one of them.

Because he knows about your anxiety, he always is prepared to take care of you.

Tries to ease your mind as best he can.

"But you'll never be alone."

Diluc

Master Diluc. Another one who had anxiety in the past after... events in his life.

Except, he wouldn't know about your anxiety unless you brought it up.

He didn't wanna assume anything, that's all, so he waited until you confirmed this with him.

When you do though, expect him to be prepared to help you at all times.

But sometimes, in the dead of night when Diluc is put and you're home alone, it's hell.

You're laying alone in your bed, thoughts swirling around your head.

And sometimes being alone with your thoughts aren't a good thing.

Negative thoughts flow into your mind, and suddenly, it's as if you're suffocating.

Trying to hold back the fiery hot tears that roll down your face, Diluc returns home to you.

"Something isn't right. I can feel it."

Rushes over to your room, not wanting to waste a single moment more.

And he finds you curled up in bed, gasping for air, having a breakdown.

Pulls you into his arms and holds you, making you rest your head on his chest.

"My love, listen to my voice, and my heartbeat. Don't think about anything else."

Tries to ground you by talking to you and letting you listen to the sound of his heart.

It hurts Diluc to see you like this, and he always does his best to ease your anxiety.

Anytime you feel your anxiety getting worse, Diluc is there.

He wraps his arms around you, or gives you his jacket if he can't hold you.

But he will drop everything to help you.

Will make you something to drink, like hot chocolate, tea, coffee, anything.

And if you need to fidget with something to ground your anxiety

Well, he buys you some sort of fidget toy.

Don't fight me. Those things help me through it sometimes bc my mind goes blank and I get grounded

Diluc also offers to do some relaxing activities with you to soothe your mind and your nerves.

"I'll be with you from dusk till dawn."

Xiao

Used to have anxiety as well. Have you not seen his karmic debt?

And yet you ground him when he needs you most.

So you better believe that he will return the favour tenfold.

He can see you're anxious with how you absent-mindedly tap your fingers against a surface.

He reaches out, holding your hand in his.

He has gotten used to initiating physical affection after seeing how happy you get.

When you're laying in bed at night, unable to sleep with thoughts swirling around your head.

Then Xiao will be the one to help you to bed.

Gives you a hoodie of his, helps you put it on actually, and helps you to bed.

Cuddles with you, whispering comforting words when your anxiety grows.

Takes you out on a walk through nature when your anxiety grows worse over days.

If you have allergies, he takes the path with less plants and stuff, but still amazing sights.

"I'm right here. I'll not leave your side. I'll help you get through this."

Anytime you start spiralling, he talks you through it, voice gentle and calm

Does all the things to soothe you that you do for him.

Never treats you as if you're incapable of doing things yourself though.

Lets you do things yourself unless you ask him for help, advising you to take it slowly.

Asks you to talk to describe some stuff to him when you're on the verge of breaking.

"What colour is the sky? What colour are my eyes? Can you match your breathing to mine?"

Alternatively asks you to count the number of objects backwards.

Basically find ten of one object, nine of another and so on.

Xiao mainly distracts you from what's growing your anxiety.

But he also gives you a lot of physical affection to help you calm down.

Super patient with you, despite seeming like an impatient person.

"Baby I'm right here."

Mystic Messenger

Saeran

Never played his or Saeyoung's routes, but he's my favourite from the two for some reason.

Saeran suffers anxiety even to this day. He has anxiety because of what he was subjected to.

So he understands you having anxiety.

Offers to introduce you to his psychologist so that your anxiety can also get a little bit better.

He knows it may not completely help, but he wants to help you even a little bit.

His psychologist helped him, so he's hoping you'll be helped as well.

However, if you're against the idea, he attempts to help you himself.

When you're feeling on the verge of an anxiety attack, he offers you to get ice-cream.

This man loves his ice-cream, so you don't even suspect its to help you.

Until it keeps happening when your panic attacks hit.

And if you're lactose intolerant? He finds an alternative that won't make you suffer.

Maybe he offers you some Honey Buddha Chips from Saeyoung's endless supply.

He likes stargazing with you, especially on nights when both your anxieties peak.

"The stars have a way of easing my anxiety. I hope it helps you as well."

Offers you his teddy bear to hold and cuddle when you're especially stressed during the day

Likes holding your hand. Feels it helps ground you both.

When your chest hurts, he gently squeezes your hand as a gentle reminder that he's there for you.

Times when your anxiety isn't as bad though, you can be certain to hear him say he's proud of you.

And when you recover from a panic attack, he still says he's proud of you.

Why? Because he knows how it feels.

"I'm proud of you. You're doing so well. You're managing, and that's great."

When you're calm, looks at you as if you're a work of art.

When you're breaking down, looks at you as if you're a delicate flower that needs care.

Always reminds you that he loves you, especially when you're super anxious.

"I'll hold you when things go wrong."

Saeyoung

Did you guys get married at the space station?

He's smart, but he's also stupidly oblivious.

So much for being a sentient boy.

I joke. In all honesty, he's probably trying to balance things, so he doesn't notice.

At first.

When he does notice you have anxiety (or when you finally tell him), he hugs you.

Holds you close, not saying anything for a few moments.

You think he's disappointed, and he is. Except it's in himself for not realising sooner.

After that? He pays close attention to you, not wanting you to spiral.

Anytime he sees someone about to prod at your anxiety to make it grow, he's there.

Pulls pranks on the person. Can't threaten them directly because he has a history.

When alone with the person who overwhelmed you, he's much less forgiving.

He is gentle, treating you as if you were a precious gem that could break.

Talks you through your nerves, cracking a few jokes to help you.

Alternatively though, he holds you close, letting you rest your head on his shoulder or chest.

You know how he cosplays?

He will cosplay for you to see you smile.

Cosplays as your comfort character.

Which means he may not need to cosplay bc he knows his your comfort character here.

"Defender 707 will defend you from your anxiety!"

Suggests activities that could help you.

Go outside? Take a walk? Exercise? Cuddles? Video games?

Maybe not the last one. Unless it's a slow paced game that's calming.

Asks Vanderwood to cook for you to make sure you don't forget to eat.

"I'll be with you from dusk till dawn."

Zen

You know how he has a bunch of rehearsals to do and rarely has time for himself?

Yeah, he always has time for you.

So when you message him saying your anxiety is worse today, he drops everything to go to you. The directors can't say anything, fearing he may quit, and their project will flop.

When he arrives at home, he has your favorite snacks on hand, ready to spoil you.

But on other days, when you're both together, he likes going to quiet places with you.

This is because not only is he famous, but also because he doesn't want to overwhelm you.

Feeds you and makes sure you're hydrated because he knows you forget sometimes.

Another one who buys you fidget toys to help ease your anxiety.

"You know I'm here, right? You don't have to struggle through this alone."

Alternatively, if you ever feel like you're a burden because of your anxiety, he has something else to say.

"You're not my burden. I'll never drop you. In fact, I don't mind having you here. Please never think you're a burden."

Funnily enough, this man was my first love in mysme, but I never had the time to get his route rip

Keeps you away from the media in fear of your anxiety worsening.

He wants to introduce you as his romantic partner, but he doesn't want any hate comments to you.

Also scared the attention will maybe make your anxiety worse.

So he keeps things between you both alone.

"God made a mistake when making us. I'm too beautiful and you're too perfect."

Smack him /j Just let him know you're fine when you're fine.

And let him know when you're not fine

Leaves you little notes around your house that tells you how much he loves you

Alternatively (again), if he's unable to come to you when you're anxious.

He has voice notes prepared to ground you, and notes (again) to ground you.

Is proud to have you as his romantic partner, and just wants you to be okay.

Likes spoiling you as well. Acts of service and gift giving. Wants to reward you for being so strong.

"Baby I'm right here."

End

Reblogs and friendly comments are welcome.

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sporesgalaxy · 5 months

Note

i know you've had a lot of people responding to your post about hrt already but i wanted to share my experience, so here's a list

1. i also could not be bothered to go through the steps required to get testosterone for a very long time (like 6 years lol) but i went through folx and its worked pretty well for me, you can tell them if you want gel or injections, a higher or lower dose, and they don't make you go to a therapist or anything which is great

2. if you can get to one of those FedEx package holding places, you can opt for it to be held there instead of shipped to your residence directly and they make the outer packaging discreet

3. i also have ocd and ive already noticed after 2 months that it's definitely helped with some of my compulsions and overall it's been great for my confidence and emotional state

4. speaking of, it's total bs that testosterone makes you angrier, bc i am normally a very angry person and i haven't been nearly as angry lately (probably something to do with being generally happier and more comfortable in my own skin)

5. my menstrual cycles have been SIGNIFICANTLY easier, from cramps to flow to emotional state, and again, this is after 2 months

overall I've had a very positive experience, and i know part of what helped me even get started in the first place is hearing other people's experiences and knowing i didn't have to go through all of it all at once so hopefully, no matter what you decide, this helps with the process!

1. oh huh! thanks for mentioning Folx Health, I'd never heard of that before. I've only glanced over the site but it seems cool. Sadly cowardice is stopping me more than laziness 😑 I keep thinking if I inconvenience my family members I'll go to hell before I die. working on it. will be easier when I have a full time job

2. thats a neat trick! I'd rather just wait until I'm paying my own rent but this sounds v useful and Im glad to share it

3. Interesting and not entirely surprising! My OCD definitely gets worse or better in preportion to my general anxiety, so feeling better for gender reasons causing improvement makes total sense

4. Yep that tracks with other anecdotes Ive heard! Great to hear!

5. fuck yeas period is over party 🎉🎊

thanks for sharing!!

#asks

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unfortunatelyself · 2 years

Text

✨️ My autistic/adhd headcanons: ✨️

Dipper Pines

From Gravity Falls

Mabel being autistic and adhder is a popular headcanon I've seen several times, but I dont understand how no one seems to care about poor Mason guy. I mean, its clear for me that he is autistic as well. He struggles in social situations, has anxiety, wears the same outfit everyday to avoid wasting time thinking about what to wear, the diaries and the author are clearly his special interests to the point he doesn't sleep bc of it, he stims without even noticing by chewing pens when he's stressed plus he's probably trans.

Star Butterfly

From Star vs the forces of evil

This is a headcanon I've seen a little discussion on and I completely agree. Star behaves differently than those around her and although the show tried this to look like a cultural shock cause shes from another dimension, even in Mewni the only one who understands her is her father. She has echolalia, she happy stims by jumping and clapping, she hyperfocus/obsess, cant stand boredom, always find a way to have fun, she cant get the hint that someone dont like her; Marco was running away terrified of her while she was happily waving at him and saying goodbye and when Britney told her she would invite her to her party when pigs fly she took it literally. She's passionate, resolve things her way, can have strong emotional reactions, shes creative, very energetic and with a strong sense of justice.

Spongebob

I dont even know where to start, not only bc it is incredibly obvious hes autistic, but also it makes angry that his autistic traits are portrayed as annoying in the show and the ableist inside it.

His special interests are krabby patties. He loves his work, although its not even a work for him, its his life, he loves doing this with a passion, he don't want to stop doing it and gets depressed when Mr Crabs forces him to have some vacations.

He can became hyperfocus/obsessive, specially when it comes to krabby patties and the krusty crab in general.

He is very sensitive and experience his emotions very strongly, hes caring and get attached easily.

He doesn't get when people dont like him, although he is aware that he annoys Squidward and even have a day only to annoy him with Patrick, the rest of his interactions with him or anyone, he doesn't seems aware, something thats portrayed as "dumb" which I totaly hate btw.

He acts younger than he is, even some citizens of bikini bottom refer to him as a kid, when he's actually 20 something. More like an adult who does whatever he wants and makes him happy to me. It doesn't seem like he dislikes being called a kid by others but it stills annoy me a bit cause the ✨️ ableism ✨️ yk.

He has an "inappropriate" and "annoying" laugh and in general he is "annoying" and it piss me off that all that considered annoying are nd traits, and it personally annoys me more bc Spongebob has been my favorite cartoon since I'm like four and most of the think he does, I do them too.

Luz Noceda

From the owl house

Since episode one u can tell she has adhd and how the principal(? of her school and her mom, instead of trying to understand her, only want her to change and bahave like she should. Not like the spiders where the best idea but still, they also wanted her to stop engaging on her silly fantasy books. Very understandable she decided to stay at the boiling isles.

She lives in her own world. She's full of creativity, passion, new ideas, she wants not only to explore the world, she want to do it now, like, rn. Shes also very energetic, always ready for an adventure or a lecture as long as shes interested.

Oscar

From Summer Camp Island

He is so clearly autistic to me. He has difficulties with change and adapting, something we see the moment he arrives at the camp and his parents leave; he even tries to leave bc this new environment, all the changes, being away from the safety his parents represent its too much for him.

Hes anxious asf, hes clumsy and a little clingy. He get his confidence when he feels safe with his friends and in the moment theyre not around he starts getting worried.

He is a calm guy who likes doing things his way and prefer staying at his cabin, chill and cozy but who also likes and is willing to go on adventure as long as he feels comfortable and safe with his friends, from which he gets his strength.

Reassurance and a book are enough to make him happy.

I love him. Hes also the character i relate the most with from this list (I relate to all except from Dipper and Neddy).

Neddy

From adventure time

Same thing as with Dipper and Mabel, Neddy is Princess Bubblegum brother, her being autistic is a well known headcanon but Neddy, oh man, hes pretty much too but since he has so little screen time I wouldn't be surprised if people dont even remember him.

He is non verbal and very very sensitive to noise and change, being Bonnies song the only thing that can calm him during a meltdown.

There's not much else to say, Bonnie and Neddy is the only episode hes part of, but i think thats enough. Since the very beginning, he seemed very overwhelmed by the different environments and noises him and Bonnie were facing after leaving the mother gum. He desseperatily cries and tries to run away from the danger or discomfort hes feeling.

I really wish he had at least another episode to see his relationship with his family and to understand and get to know him more, apart from the ending scene in which Bonnie and their aunt are singing to him.

(For the record, i dont like Bonnie but i do like this quote from Bonnie and Neddy. It also goes pretty well with this post.)

#autistic headcanon #autism #adhd tag #gravity falls #svtfoe #spongebob #summer camp island #adventure time #neurodivergent #adhd headcanon #nd headcanons #dipper pines #star butterfly #luz noceda

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help-i-need-a-cool-username · 1 year

Text

Its the end of the year! Which means its time to post the

Tags That Made Me Smile 2022

The following are a collective list of tags, author notes, and fic names that i saw on ao3 and tumblr that made me either laugh or smile. Ive separated them by fandom but a good amount arent actually fandom specific. Ive added the character names or fandom at the end like {name} to clarify who the tag is talking about

[2021's list]

Author Specific / Non-Specific

i saw canon; acknowledged it; And promply burned it in a dirty trash can thanks; Have this instead

Give me pain I need to feel something

this is self projection thank you coming to my ted talk

Whats that?? Overused tropes that everyone has seen before????? Pfffffffft. This fic is literally just a big mess of "how can I cater to myself and myself only"

you ever just look at your life and wonder how you got here; bc that's what this fic is for me

Don't underestimate me I DO NOT know how long this fan-fic will be

can you tell my target audience is myself

this is content specifically catered to me and no one else

these characters are my landlords and i pay them rent

P O L Y A M O R Y I S M Y P O L Y J A M O R Y

cheek kiss warning

kidnapping isn’t sexy don’t do it

i've never read the archie comics but that's not gonna stop me {archie sonic}

not me writing a whole fic for a ship only i care about; that like maybe two other people ship; rowing this boat is hard but someone has to do it {scourge x fleetway sonic}

ankles don't heal this fast but fuck it i do what i want

no beta we die like men; or rather we drown like the sad shipper with a pool noodle we are

I'm afraid of the Danimals mascot and you should be too

if you're getting flood warnings, don't worry. It's just MY TEARS!

me at every character: anxiety be upon ye

Me (Grabs canon and runs a marathon with it)

Quote: Do you think God stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he's created (Spy Kids) {tmnt crossover}

Alternate Universe - Monty Python and the Holy Grail

contains dangerous amount of bed based snuggling

(kind of its a very short very homosexual fight scene); and then they kiss.

Hostage situation takes a romantic turn???? Not clickbait????

enemies to frenemies

Improper Use of Pool Noodles

stone cold stoicism meeting determined stupidity

Star Wars

Kanan Jarrus: The Daddening

platonic love is what healed his lonely existence {din djarin}

when in doubt: road trip with the besties {din, boba, fennec}

Soul Eater

found family at its finest {kid, liz, patty}

The Witcher

wife (platonic) {yennskier}

at first I was like haha geralt and Istredd should kiss as a joke…. but bro I don’t think it’s a joke anymore….

Sonic the Hedgehog

Movie!Super Sonic is made out of LOVE no one touch me

Sonics gay awakening I guess

sonic movie 2 made me make an ao3 account lol

Sonic was made to love people

Two Bros Chillin’ in an ER Five Feet Apart ‘cause they’re not gay {sonic x shadow}

the most dangerous thing is to love {shadow}

Trapped in a small box with just enough room to face some feelings {sonic x shadow}

the R in rivalry stand for romance {sonic x shadow}

The L in Rivalry Stands For 'Love' {sonic x shadow}

A Largely Platonic Cave

i love boom!shadow so naturally i made him even more insufferable

Sad-ow

Wachowskis holdin it down in the bg; Absolute champs

I love how Shadow is just so mindbogglingly utterly done with reality

Knuckles is a guardian of all things great and small

“Would you kiss a worm?" “If he was cute as fuck? Yeah.” {wade x stone}

"What is this made of, bendable titanium?!" "INCORRECT. IT IS MADE OF THE FRUSTRATIONS OF MOTHERS EVERYWHERE." {team dark}

featuring a scourge that trips far too much because it's my fic and I said so {scourge x fleetway sonic}

no thoughts just soft hedgehog moments

listen if im going to die at the hands of injured lancelot shit i might as well take advantage of it

Everyone has a crush on Lancelot and I'll die on this hill

fairy Lancelot Fairy Lancelot FAIRY LANCELOT!!!

TMNT

Slow Burn; mostly on april's end of things; casey and donnie are basically on fire right off the bat {tmnt 2012}

Rise!Donnie and 2012!Casey be out there committing arson together for their first date >.>

Please enjoy Casey, the fool, realizing his feelings for Donnie, another fool {tmnt 2012}

Draxum and Splinter are the turtles' dads (it's a reluctant partnership)

just two absolute powerhouses holding each other gently {raph x mona}

“There’s nothing wrong with the way you love, Dee. Goodnight.” {rottmnt}

Wondering what to do when the apocalypse happens? Easy: fly across the country and get Vegas-married. That's definetley an appropriate reaction that won't involve your complicated feelings towards your roommate at all {hypno x warren}

Look rise are weapons of war 12 were accidents and I play with that HARD in this fic

"GET IN THE TURTLE TANK BITCHES WE GOING TO FAMILY THERAPY" {rottmnt}

Donatello is now Dad-Atello {rottmnt}

The other [Casey] is out on a beach in Tahiti; It's what he deserves after surviving the Krang {rottmnt}

Leo is now actively being hunted for sport; (the only sport Donnie is good at) {rottmnt}

These turtles can fit so much trauma

2018 Karai lives because fuck Nick; Casey x Donnie x April are a healthy ship and also fuck nick again

I cant be the only one pissed by Leo's and Karais 'love interest plot'; Leonardo's weird feelings were simply gender envy...Yes that is canon now {tmnt 2012}

What happens when two "dudes" call each other 'girlfriend'; Transgender activities, that's what! {tmnt 2012}

splinter is twice divorced and never married {rottmnt}

Papatello / Dadatello {rottmnt}

draxum's gone from dadxum to grand-dadxum good for him

HOLY FUCKING SHIT YES YES YES YES; GRANDPA BARRY COMING IN CLUTCH

draxum just be like gramps still got it; and by 'it' i mean a complete lack of forethought for care when creating random children

Puts the Bi in Bitchless {rottmnt leo}

its because ninja turtles

feral mamatello {rottmnt}

Marvel

it's the anguish, the self flagellation, the audacity to love the man who annihilate ur nation and killed ur mother; your m o t h e r {black panther}

#hinacu #i cant believe my fav one is from TLG 🤣#star wars rebels #the mandalorian #soul eater #the witcher #sonic the hedgehog #sonic boom #sonic movie #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #rottmnt #black panther #can u tell i'll read just about anything?#expected some things to have really funny tags and they never made the list

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koipepo · 1 year

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despite you not interacting with the fandom as often, do you still like thramsay? also, loving all the all quiet on the western front stuff! havent watched it yet, but i love war history stuff

thanks! AQOTWF is amazing and i hope you'll watch it soon anon. as for your question, incoming walls of texts and rambling of different topics:

i still love thramsay deeply, but i feel more and more like a machine churning out constant stream of fanart with nothing to gain from it. In previous months no matter how well-received or "objectively" good my thramsay fanart are, i looked at them with despair the moment i finished drawing them. Not quite contempt but it's a very nauseating sense of emptiness that can last for weeks, and it feels worse especially in contrast with people's positive reception of my thramsay fanart. I also feel guilty. I desperately wanted to be only thankful because all those comments and messages i received from my fanart; they do make me very happy but that happiness is swiftly crushed by despair, every time. it makes me feel insane bc it's so paradoxical. the more i get praised for my thramsay fanart, the smaller and useless i feel.

I still want to draw them, very badly, but I know what will come after if i force myself too soon: that monstrous feeling of uselessness. That's why for now I don't want to force myself drawing them too soon, in fear that i will end up resenting them for real.

this isn't caused by dark fiction's fatigue btw-i still fantasize about ramsay lovingly carving his mark on theon for days lol but the moment i try putting the fantasy out on paper, i can't forget about myself like i used to automatically do in happier times. instead i become too aware and feel sickened by my hand, my eyes, and everything about me. i still feel that way in some degree when drawing my OCs and the recent AQOTWF fanart, but it's not as severe as with thramsay because of their much-lower engagement.

i know very well that this is because of crumbling mental health. monetary issue, grief, loss of close friendships, inability to emotionally connect to anyone, anxiety... all everyday man/woman has to go through and of which cannot easily be fixed.

right now it's more soothing thinking about outright depressing and death-filled media like AQOTWF because well, i think about death all the time. I feel the world is moving on from pandemic and its victims, including my loved ones, and everybody is trying to bury their memories in order for productivity, for the world to turn again. Like the dead ones are just heavy cuffs to be shed off. i think this is also why drawing thramsay feels harder because it feels like i'm hiding my grief to play my part as fanart-churning machine.

My experience is very different from what's portrayed in AQOTWF and of course much less tragic but the movie heavily acknowledges how insignificant and tragic death actually is, and in turn it acknowledges my loss and my experience of trying to come on terms with it.

i'll stop rambling now. if you read until this part, kudos- thank you for your time and effort! i do still have hope to be able to draw thramsay again and be genuinely happy for it someday. nothing is permanent. wish me luck anon :)

#replies #things koipe say

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sevicia · 2 months

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give me the movie recs instead! scary is ok

LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Under a read more cause I looove talking, and the sections are ordered by like, priority of recommendation if that makes sense ... I also tried 2 actually rank them but I am not very good @ that LOL

Personal Enjoyment ONLY!!!:

No theme besides personal enjoyment "just for fun"/not relatable edition:

The Batman - I love it I just love it. I watched it bc my sister put it on and my pen's battery had run out. I was CLUELESS

Spree - That's my attention whore wife that would kill me for views !!!!!!

Jacob's Ladder - The best fever dream anyone could ever ask for !!! Everything about this movie is perfect. And this doesn't really matter TOO much ....... BUT …….. !!!! Tim Robbins in short shorts towards the end .......... save meeeee .................

Antiviral - I rewatched this one just before writing this LOL. It made me crazy when I first saw it back in 2022 and it makes me crazy now too!! The entire movie feels cold & sterilized but it's still Completely Sexual. Syd March I know what you are. OH also I like to think Mr. Cronenberg Sir is proud of his son bc this ruuuuules

Martyrs - This is like the ultimate "can't rec it as-is" movie bc of the amount of people that are genuinely disturbed by it & don't get me wrong I am one of them!! But there's just something here that has me thinking about it so often. The violence is amazing and the feeling in my stomach is horrible every time !!

No theme besides personal enjoyment mental illness edition:

Pulse (AKA Kairo) - Extremely close to my heart, the way loneliness relates to the internet & technology in general is such an interesting topic it would be enough to make this movie stand out for anyone, but I have such a personal fondness for it because of how much I felt it understood me. In a few ways.

Pearl - IDGAF how many people have gone "just like me fr" cause I am also one of them. I don't get the whole "female rage" thing that gets mentioned a ton (on account of me being some guy), but the theme of never being able to escape a life you hate ??? Absolutely fucking terrifying & hits super hard for me specifically

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? - The RESENTMENT, the ANGER, the DESPAIR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It resonated w/ me a lot more in the past but not so much anymore, which is good LOL

HORROR!! YAY!!:

Horror SERIOUS edition:

The Thing - certified classic I legit think everyone should watch this one at least once in their lives. The practical effects r amazing, the story is GRIPPING & many of the actors r hot. Literally what else could u ask for…..

Hellraiser - Huge DUH ….. The short story is so good too Mr. Clive Barker I owe you my life !!!!!

The House That Jack Built - Pretentious, yes! But also really fun/satisfying to watch. I've seen some people comment on this kinda movie being typical for the director? But IDK who that man is & I don't care either. Like at all.

Ringu - Just a classic. So creepy I have to hype myself up to watch it LOL

Persona - INSAAAAANE INSANE INSANE. I saw someone say it's toxic yuri which like. Yeah I think. But also it left me confused in a rly good way

Noroi: The Curse - honestly should be self-explanatory @ this point. GENUINELY scared the shit outta me

Repulsion - Also a drama (besides a horror), the way the main character's paranoia escalates is just .... haunting, I think is the word. There's some degree of irony in here, because of who the director is, that I can't really articulate.

Gorefest / not too serious:

Creep - INSANE found footage about a guy making decisions that seem questionable if not stupid to most people, but not to me. I understand him. (disclaimer that this one could also go in the prev. category ..... I don't knowwww)

Intruder - I was on a slasher kick a few years back and this was one of the better ones. The convenience store setting is so much fun & something I'd never seen before! Or since.

Rec - SOOOO anxiety inducing, there's a lot of moments where people r talking/yelling over each other & the part towards the end that explains the whole thing is just. 0_0. to me. Bc it's among the top 3 things I do NOT fuck with !!! (same disclaimer as w/ Creep).

Hostel - I actually really like this one & don't understand most of the criticisms besides the obvious misogyny. It irks me a lot that it gets called "torture porn" so often when it's just … not that bad ? As edgy as that sounds !!

Cube - go there. in the cube? go in the cube.

The Poughkeepsie Tapes - Zero excuses for this one, you just gotta embrace your shit taste sometimes

Terrifier - Separate from the 2nd one cause that one is different in more than a few ways ..... but this one is just like charming to me in a weird way. It 's fucking filthy like, visually tho cause of the abandoned building & other such things ....

Terrifier 2 - This one I also enjoyed a lot though it IS really really long, I found it fun! The whole family aspect of it I liked a lot bc fictional siblings my beloved :3 though Art's backstory is still rly muddy (4 me at least) I do think it's like, a fun silly slasher if you've got 2 hrs and a lot of patience LOL

Just fun overall!!:

YAY!!!!!!!!!:

ROBOTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Oh my GOD I love this movie. I love this movie so much it's probably my favorite childhood movie. It's funny as fuck, really pretty AND has a good story. IK it may sound like nostalgia's involved but I just truly believe it's an amazing movie<3

Birds of Prey - This one is just a serotonin machine for me I love Harley so so muchh

Wendell & Wild - Visually insane I looove the look of this movie. It's also just rly enjoyable, I watched it multiple times at one point since it's on Netflix I think ? My mom got sick of it LOL

Bottoms - Absolutely bonkers it's such a fun movie. Gay and untalented and ugly and yet one of the most lovable movies I've ever seen ?? They need to print more of these

A Trip to Infinity - This one's actually a documentary on um. Infinity. Which is lovely because watching scientists be enthusiastic about their work and gush about it is just so good for my brain + it made me cry

The nostalgia I have 4 these ones is craaazy:

The Butterfly Effect - this was on TV SO OFTEN it was insane. I watched it so many times as a kid I always insisted on not changing the channel

The Voices - SO fun & silly I think of it so fondly .....

Paranorman - I love this movie so so much forever it's just so beautiful & funny

Zombieland - It's just fun man IDK what else to tell u

Sucker Punch - Another one that was often on TV, it's just embedded in my memory forever. I learned what a lobotomy was bc of this movie!!

MISC!!!:

These are dramas !!:

Parasite - Just watch it if u haven't. Everyone says you should watch it and they're RIGHT !!!

The Devils - I love horny church stuff so much

Let the Right One In - fucking loved this one. Freezing cold, very pretty AND probably the best vamp movie I've ever seen. Though I haven't seen a lot

Girl, Interrupted - insane behavior from the girls here but they're literally in a psych ward so who cares

These r good but I don't remember them much SOB:

The Eyes Of My Mother - this one gets called slow/boring a lot but I really don't gaf I still liked it

Wolf Creek 1 + 2

The Descent

Phenomena - The 1st game of the Clock Tower series was based on/inspired by this movie! Nothing else 2 say I just think it's cool lol

American Mary

A Clockwork Orange - I watched this nearly an entire decade ago but it goes here because of the fact that sometimes I still hear that dumb cunt Alex DeLarge go "I've suffered, and I've suffered, and I've suffered!" inside my head a lot. Also I have to mention that he did look good beaten up despite everything going on w/ him.

#danties #long post #literally so so fucking long I'm sorryyyyyyyyyyy .................................................. it's my verbose soul ..................#much to think about #<- thoughts were displayed

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