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#insane gay people with something so wrong with them

drdemonprince · 13 hours

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woof. your recent posts really resonate with me especially now that im making more gay and trans friends, im meeting so many cool nonmonogamous trans people that seem to have casual sex with basically all their nonmonogamous trans friends and like. its almost giving me a complex where if i think someone is cool and want to be friends with them, even if im not attracted to them, i have a perception that the only way to befriend them is to pursue them sexually. or that if they dont wanna fuck me when they fuck all their other trans friends that means there's something wrong with me (again even if i don't particularly want to fuck them!)... i love being trans and poly, and i love having more trans and poly people in my life, but sometimes i think about this one reddit comment where a dude said he noticed his gay friend had way more fun at straight bars than gay bars bc at straight bars he wasn't worrying about his appearance/body image/validation/sexual prospects

yeah honestly i get this so much and it's a very dismaying swirl of emotions to have. i don't like fucking friends. at all. it actively makes me feel unsafe and like i'm only useful to someone insofar as i'm satisfying a desire for them. it makes me feel more disposable. plus im insanely jealous if i have an actual emotional connection with someone i'm fucking so i wouldn't do well in a whole poly queer mish mosh of dear devoted friends who also sometimes bang. i would be plotting the downfall of the people i was most primed to view as a threat and sowing discord between people and shit. not good.

i also think it is a little fucking concerning when people only date/have sex as their sole way to make friends, and are only friends with people they want to fuck. this tends to create a very homogenous friend group that is heavily restricted based on desirability politics. it's also just really objectifying and unsustainable.

now i must say!! this is very much in the minority of poly people -- poly people are generally fucking AMAZING at being friends because even as just their buddy they treat hanging out with the same degree of intention and care as they would going on a date. they can hang! they want to go out and do things! they're more practiced in building a new intimacy of *any* kind than most monogamous people are.

it's just that there are some weird culty up their own ass bad boundaried polycules out there, in the same way there are abusive, codependent, jealous, miserable fucking monog couples.

but even tho most queer and poly people are more ascended than that, yeah, there is a weird unsettling constant self-evaluation that can happen in spaces where fucking almost anybody is theoretically on the table. some of that is a problem in how people treat one another, and some of that is just insecurity in between your own ears.

i get it fully. im hyper conscious of myself and how i imagine im being perceived and how people are seeing me when im out in queer spaces. and most of it is me being fully insane and making myself miserable based on nothing. because literally who cares who is attracted to me in that space and who isn't??? what matters is what i want in that moment, and my behavior, which i have control over. i should be able to just float around smiling at people and dancing and chit chatting and if someone is feeling my energy and we can talk, great, if they try to make it sexual when i dont want it to, i can just walk away. like it fully does not need to be that deep.

but it's a hard internal hurdle to overcome and every time someone hits on you, ignores you, misreads your identity, etc it can be used by your mind as fodder for The Narratives and The Insecurities and make things worse and it really has to be an intentional practice to not do that to yourself.

if you can bounce along carelessly in the straight club because you're not worrying about how people see you, you can bounce along carelessly in the queer club and not worry about how people see you. literally treat queer people the same way you'd treat straight people who seem perfectly fine but are not your problem and not a focus for you. you can stop trying to mind read the intentions of every queer person and stop sizing yourself up in their eyes and not worrying about who is fucking who and who is in love with who and who is secretly jealous but pretending not to be. and just. hang out. and feel things out. and exist in your own body and pay attention to what interests you and what you are experiencing rather than how they are experiencing you.

i say this as a reminder to myself!!

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oxydiane · 1 year

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sns is so fucking unhinged and nobody will ever be them i’m sorry. you start the series and it’s like oh haha look at these goofy angsty rivals! they hate each other! then sasuke dies for naruto thirty chapters in giving up his dream of revenge and naruto goes batshit insane. now you’re like ah they’re friends i guess that’s cute! and sasuke is trying to kill naruto because he’s the most important person in his life which is . ok and it becomes the driving force of everything or something. sasuke leaves and naruto dedicates the rest of his life to bringing him back and you’re still a casual fan so ur like he’s doing it for the promise right? then orochimaru says sasuke is his and naruto goes batshit insane feral homicidal (again) and after that sasuke reappears and they have ??? like five different panels dedicated to them staring at each other??? and he jumps off a mountain and hugs naruto for some reasons just to whisper some gay shit in his ear kishimoto frankly needs to be jailed drawing this and keep that best friend nonsense going. anyways. you have sasuke become a convicted terrorist to which the normal people response is “ok we need to hunt him down” and when naruto learns they’re gonna hunt him down he starts screaming crying throwing up he has a panic attack he can’t breathe he’s falling in the snow he gets on his knees and begs them to spare his BFF. after having a meltdown over the thought of sasuke dying what may possibly be the natural coping mechanism any stable person would adapt? of course realising that if sasuke dies he can die too. so he sees sasuke again and after he attempts murdering sakura twice and expresses the intent to murder kakashi he’s like. i will bear the burden of your hatred and die with you hehe and if we both die you won’t be an uchiha and i won’t be the jinchuuriki to the nine tails and we’ll be able to understand each other better in a different lifetime! WE’LL MEET AGAIN IN THE AFTERLIFE BECAUSE NOT EVEN DEATH CAN DO US PART! and sasuke (just as insane as him) doesn’t even flinch he’s like what the fuck is wrong with you but then ok let’s fuckingggf die together on my god i will kill your first anyways . then they find out they are soulmates and get cute matching tattoos on their hands and decide to fight to the death once more because sasuke is back on his i will shoulder all the hatred of the world alone and i need to kill you because i love you more than anyone else in the world actually you’re the only person i love so you need to DIE and naruto is like I WILL NOT LET YOU SHOULDER THAT HATRED ALONE I WILL FREE YOU FROM THE PAIN and they fight and despite all the whatever weapons used in the war it’s a fuckinggg fistfight in which just as sasuke is about to inflict what he thinks is the last blow says “farewell… my one and only…………………. (very long pause to accentuate how heteronormative this next word is gonna be) FRIEND” and fucking stops using his sharingan because not even then he can record the image of naruto dying especially by his hand but naruto STOPS HIM LIKE A f cHAMP and they end up blowing each other’s arms off (rip the matchies) and as they’re bleeding to the fucking death sasuke is like you’re the only person that has never tried to severe their ties with me why do you go so far for me and naruto from the depths of comphet hell is like because you’re my FRIEND and sasuke being absolutely done with this bullshit is like ok what the fuck does that mean to you then and this is where it gets even gayer and relatable because naruto is like i don’t KNOW i just know that when you hurt i hurt and i just can’t take it and isn’t that the most gay experience thing ever? naruto knows what it feels like to have friends but what he feels for sasuke is so bone deep and unconventional that he cannot make sense of it and can only describe the pain it brings. after that sasuke CRIES LIKE THEYVE GOT ME SOOO FUCKED UP but you know what got me even more fucked up?

naruto waking up bloodied and battered and half alive with one arm missing but still wondering if that was heaven because sasuke was next to him. sasuke looking so happy and peaceful when saying “i lost” as a stark contrast to him looking and feeling like half of his body was being torn apart when he “won” against naruto in vote1 and left him. the bitterness of victory vs the sweetness of losing if you will. AND HIM COMPARING WHAT HE FEELS FOR NARUTO TO PRAYING MY GODD. did i forget to mention that then we learn that Ohhh it was never a stupid shallow rivalry as we all thought! they have actually been watching each other from afar since they were little freshly traumatised children and have longed to hold each other’s hands since then! what was it sasukeeee you felt warm and fuzzy when you saw naruto to thought of it as a weakness? these two are so astronomically hopelessly desperately obsessed in love with each other it’s ridiculous i’ve had ENOUGH free me from this mental prison

#soo talks #its 4 am #this is word vomit #ignore me #naruto #naruto shitpost #sns #narusasu #sasunaru #pro sns #naruto uzumaki #sasuke uchiha #thoughts

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lover-of-mine · 28 days

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it’s so interesting that with previous love interests, it was normal and fine to not ship them and to still want buddie in the future, but now, we have to sit down and shut up and accept that it’s never happening and B/T are forever

oh no wait, it’s not interesting, it’s annoying and confusing and frankly just weird. misogynistic and borderline fetishistic

shipping non-canon couples, especially ones with 6 years of history and love and shared experiences, is the norm in literally every fandom, but now suddenly it’s wrong and how dare we

a fair few of the people saying this are also, conveniently, the ones implying that B’s bisexuality is tied to T and T alone and if we don’t ship them, we don’t support bi!B

how. very. interesting! /annoying/confusing/weird

So interesting. Dude, I got called homophobic because I didn't immediately look at them in 703 and decided they were true love. In 703. Because I didn't look at the shoulder touch and immediately started shipping them. Homophobic with all the letters. I got yelled at. After 703. Legit almost deleted this whole blog over some of the things that got sent. I was legitimately crying with friends who are not in the fandom if I was being unreasonable or insane or whatever else I got called for not jumping in instantly and to ask if I was actually doing something wrong. People were saying we were being weird about queer storylines. That we needed to shut the fuck up and enjoy the way Oliver Stark was gonna make out with a hot guy. That not being on board the ship meant that we had an unreasonable and ridiculous necessity of making sure Eddie was the only guy for Buck. Literally every single person in this fandom hc Buck 1.0 also hooked up with guys. Most people never acted as if Buck needs to be guided through his queerness by this hot older guy. Oh, wait, no, they did. With T. People automatically decided that Buck needed a queer Yoda. That he needed someone to hold his hand and be a guide. They added a fucked up power dynamic from the get go. With no information, Buck was already a baby that needed his hand held through his own sexuality. And let me tell you one thing, I know for a FACT that if it was Eddie, the automatic reaction wouldn't be putting T in this idealized experienced gay guide position when that would've made more sense (not that I think any of them needs a guide) because Eddie is the one with the body count you can count with one hand and a weird relationship with sex. But somehow I'm the one who's weird about Buck's sexuality. I don't want Buck to explore. I need Buck to only have loved Eddie. Sure. Look, I don't wanna multiship. The same way everyone is allowed to ship whatever the fuck they want, I'm allowed to not ship whatever the fuck I want. If it was a woman no one would've been in my inbox basically demanding I make the same level of analysis I make for buddie for them (let me tell you one thing too, if I made the level of analysis I do with buddie with bt, no one would like what I have to say ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯) but I'm still getting asked for it for some reason when I never indicated I ship the two.

But I'm not allowed to have any critical thoughts about anything involving bt or else I'm being weird and that's the mild term that's being used. I can't point out the fact that T left Buck in a curb and failed to communicate shit properly even though it happened in canon. I can't say that I think it felt kinda callous for him to say "they had henleys in the 80s" to Buck being upset T didn't dress on theme (also, the job requires them to change into a uniform by nature, he could've put a colorful shirt and indulged Buck a little bit there without it interfering with the way he was on standby but I can't say that or else I'm a hater). There is no criticism allowed in the ship but somehow I'm the one being weird. I don't think Buck should be in a relationship. I think Buck is still exhibiting the same patterns when it comes to love interests. And yes, I would feel the same way if it was Eddie. Buck doesn't know how to be happy alone and he will never be happy in a relationship until he learns that. I was saying that when it was Natalia and getting praised for my understanding of Buck's character. Now I'm locking Buck onto Eddie. Buck's bisexuality is only valid if he's actively kissing a guy for some people but I'm the one being weird. BT have so many visual parallels to bucktaylor, but if I say that's a bad sign I'm being a hater. I need to sit my ass down, ignore six seasons of buildup, accept that it's over, and that now making Eddie queer and getting buddie together would suck because it would destroy the friendship they built so bt are endgame and gonna get married and somehow I'm the one who's being weird about queer relationships and attaching Buck bisexuality to a person. The fandom lost its fucking mind when they saw Oliver kiss a guy and, yeah, it does feel misogynistic and borderline fetishizing. But somehow I'm the one getting blocked by half the fandom when I'm not even pointing everything I want out. I lose at least one mutual every time I even suggest maybe we should look at things a bit more critically. I have to sit here and justify things to an insane degree while people's reaction to any of the criticism is "uH BuT T Is hOt aNd hE Is a gUy sO It iS DiFfErEnT oKaY?" Critical thinking skills went out the window because now there's a guy involved and that's fucking weird. People are straight up erasing Eddie, the actual main character of the show, Buck's established partner of years, Buck's best friend, the only person in canon who never left Buck in any capacity, because some guy kissed Buck and, he, uh *check notes* treats Buck as an actual human being? so that means he's perfect. It's nuts. The bar is hell.

Yes, I know this is not everyone in the fandom and I know this is not everyone who ships them but if what I'm saying feels like a personal attack to you maybe you should do some thinking. Anyone can ship anything, you want to ship them go off, power to you, the weird part here is the way some people are demanding other people ship it too. We could all be coexisting if people didn't get weirdly comfortable demanding shit from other people in the fandom and deciding their opinion is the only one that matters so they need to call out anyone who thinks differently, but alas, that's too much to ask.

#i went off on this one sorry #kalaakapakaoakoaa #cant wait to get blocked by more people #anyway #i guess im really done being civil #unhinged anna is being unhinger #anti bucktommy #911 #i really need a tag for asks #anon 😌

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froschli96 · 9 months

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As an asexual Good Omens fan

There's something I've noticed in this fandom that makes me really uncomfortable, and that is the way that Crowley and Aziraphale's possible asexuality is constantly being connected to and justified by them being not human.

I just honestly really hate that, because implying that asexuality is something that somehow "logically" follows from characters being nonhuman is ... not great. Like, I hate having to be the one to point this out, but asexuality is, in fact, very much a human attribute.

And unfortunately, most of the time when I come across this take, it doesn't feel like someone seeing themselves in the characters and relating to their experience, but rather an othering, this kind of otherwordly pure non-sexualness, where people put these characters above such trivial things like sexuality.

I am not asexual because I am somehow confounded by this oh so complicated human concept of sexuality, or because I don't ever think or care about sexuality at all (a lot of thinking was unfortunately involved actually before I finally came to a conclusion about my identity) it is just a fact of who I am, as a human being, it’s a part of my human experience.

And let's be honest, attributing asexuality to nonhuman characters is not the hot new take a lot of people seem to think it is — this trope has been around for ages. And it hasn't done a great deal to normalize asexuality. In fact I'd argue it's perpetuated an othering of ace people, but you take what you can get, really. (This is not to say that it is in any way wrong to identify with these kinds of characters, I definitely do, too! It's just sad that the topic of discussion is always about how "human" someone can be considered when they don't feel sexual or romantic attraction)

To be honest, I don't actually see A&C being asexual as canon — as a lot of people seemingly do — just because the author kind of suggested it in a tweet where he basically conflates "asexual" and "sexless" (for the record, this is not a dig at Neil, I just think the implications were kind of unfortunate, even if it might not have been intentional, which makes it all the more frustrating that a lot of fans just ran with it). And yeah, going around calling people aphobic for seeing the Ineffable Husbands as gay rep or any other identity, when they’re oh so obviously canonically ace, is honestly kind of insane.

I get that it might feel nice and tempting to be able to "claim" these characters and this relationship and being able to tell other fans off whose headcanons on their sexuality differ from your own because it is hard to come by any kind of representation when you're ace and there's finally a creator who's not only not contemptuous towards but even supportive of fans reading his characters as queer. And if you feel represented by A&C as it is then all the more power to you. But the thing is, it doesn't matter what kind of justifications there are or what canon might or might not say (bc when has that ever mattered in fandom spaces) or what the creator says, you cannot convert people to your opinion about a character, and you're going to have a bad time if you spend your time in fandom trying to do that.

And really, I am just wondering why we necessarily even need an explanation or justification for them possibly being asexual. Why does it have to be that all angels and demons are asexual by virtue of being nonhuman, and so A&C have to be too? why can't that just be an aspect of them that is completely unrelated to them not being human? Could these characters maybe not simply identify as asexual, not because they're nonhuman, but in spite of it? (btw, in the same vein it is equally stupid to argue that A&C can't be ace because they have "gone native", which is also an argument I've come across)

Honestly, I'm not even asking anyone to fundamentally change how they see these characters here — if you think they must be asexual solely because they're angels and have no concept of human sexuality, then whatever, I can't stop you and I don’t want to police anyone's headcanons bc as I said that's stupid and a waste of time. What I am asking you is that you maybe reflect a little bit on why exactly it is that humanity and sexuality are somehow so intrinsically linked in your mind to the point where you automatically use it as a way to distinguish between human and nonhuman characters.

Anyways.

Tldr: please stop equating asexuality with non-humanness thank you and good day.

#good omens #gomens tv #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #asexual #lgbtqia #This is a long post and I’m probably kicking the hornet’s nest here even if only a few people see this #but I had to put this into words before I explode.#bc this take is so pervasive in this fandom #and its frustrating bc theres never any real discussion about how their relationship might be relatable to ace people #its just taken as a forgone conclusion

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finleycannotdraw · 25 days

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okay so.

Hell's Lust Room.

something about it is making me insane.

something about edwin wearing white clothes, not even stained with his own blood anymore, entering that room and being groped and dragged down, and then shouting for charles to help him.

something about how edwin died in edwardian england, sacrificed to hell because of queerness in some form (simon's internalized homophobia + "mary ann" being a derogatory term for gay men in that time), having zero positive relationships in regards to his sexuality. he had his sexual awakening when the cat king decided to prey on that aspect of him for his punishment, and then later tells monty that he'd thought "those feelings were never to be spoken of."

something about queer sexuality being shamed and silenced so much, we hurt ourselves with it. edwin not fully believing what he says to simon, because simon is able to move on with that forgiveness and edwin gets, once again, dragged to the ground in the lust room. instead of fully realizing that being queer in itself isn't wrong or disgusting, i think that his talk with simon is edwin becoming aware of his own shame and guilt and self-punishment, but he still hasn't entirely let go of it, and i argue this because of—you guessed it—the lust room.

something about edwin growing up being told that sexuality, especially homosexuality, is disgusting and never to be talked about. something about him then having these awakenings and realizations about himself and his feelings for his best friend, which relate specifically and intrinsically to sexuality. and almost immediately after having the realizations that his sexuality is real, he is attracted to men, and he is attracted to his best friend (and the subliminal guilt that entails), he is faced with a viscerally horrifying room full of blood and gore and sex.

something about edwin, wearing all white, being grabbed by the mass of bloody hands. during this scene, he isn't even covered in his own blood anymore. the only blood on him now is what is smeared onto him by the writhing, mindless souls being punished for their desires. what is he supposed to think? in this scene, he becomes literally stained by sexuality, expressed in an animalistic manner. charles doesn't get pulled so roughly into the mess, because edwin is the only one still actively processing the very concept of sexuality, and he hasn't entirely unlearned what he was taught about his own sexuality.

something about edwin's sexuality—not necessarily his homosexuality, just his sexuality—constantly being used to manipulate him. the cat king gets into his head by confronting him with physical attraction. monty very innocently flirts with him, then kisses him, and then leads him into a trap. simon killing him because he had feelings for edwin and didn't know how to handle them. edwin's sexuality has only ever been used against him, and during every single instance, other people have been hurt. knowing this, is it really wrong to assume that a small part of edwin probably saw the horror in that room and thought 'i belong here too'??

AND HE REACHES FOR CHARLES. who drags him out of that gory orgy (...gorgy??) (well. move the G to the front of orgy and you have gory. do with that what you will.) without a second thought. edwin loves charles, and is attracted to charles, and charles has never judged him or shamed him for that. so charles is the only person who could've possibly pulled edwin free.

#dead boy detectives #edwin payne #meta #i am UNWELL. the depictions of queer sexuality and sexuality in general in this show are so good #and we all love to joke about how much everyone wanted edwin. but. everyone who wanted him ended up hurting him. and that's a LOT.#and that all comes to a head in like. the 10 seconds they're in the lust room.#THERES SO MUCH. THERES SO MUCH.#payneland #painland #i'm sorry if this is only half coherent. i am on the floor

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nonegenderleftpain · 2 years

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To all the new, young MCR fans out there who are just finding them during this tour - you will never know what it was like to be a fan back before and during the hiatus.

And that's a good thing.

I have been following My Chemical Romance since I was ten years old. MCR was the band that the freaks liked. The band that young queer kids were called fags and dykes for liking. Someone once called them the "poster child for suicidal depression," and they aren't wrong. We watched the band struggle with drugs and drinking and idolized how much they were able to do while blackout on tour, because if they could do something so powerful at such a disadvantage, then maybe we could, too. We watched the popularization of "guyliner," because having a term for men wearing makeup could make it an ironic fashion statement instead of a deliberate choice that would get you left bloody and unconscious on the floor of a gas station bathroom. We watched these guys destroy themselves, and we saw ourselves in them because we were destroyed, too. We wanted to believe that we could be just as important, no matter how broken we were, and we found shared experiences at concerts and cafeterias and skate parks and libraries, with other fucked up kids that wanted to listen to the guys that didn't care if people called them gay. The guys that made out on stage to the jeers of thousands of people and got bottles of piss thrown at them but kept doing it anyway. The guys that played with gender and sexuality and everything on the fringes of acceptability, in their lyrics and their performance and the way they treated each other.

This was important. It was life-saving. It provided a comparatively safe space in an unsafe cultural environment for the freaks to find comfort in. It was also hugely and dangerously unhealthy.

I've talked at length to my friends about how healing and lifechanging this tour has been for me, and I want to illuminate that for these young fans that are falling in love with MCR like I did when I was their age. When we were kids, most of our heroes were already dead. They died young, had tragic lives, and we saw ourselves in them. I fully believed MCR would end up the same way. It would have been so easy to be martyrs - to die young and beautiful. Gerard said it himself, back in the day, that MCR was destined to die young in a car crash and stay beautiful forever, and I think he truly believed that.

So they broke up. And, like a miracle, things started to change. They got clean. Got married. Had kids. Not just Gee, but the lot of them. They aged out of the 27 club, and then out of their 30s, and they only seemed to continue to thrive. Today, in 2022, Gerard Way is 45 years old. He has wrinkles. He has a daughter who is older now than I was when she was born. And they are touring again.

The cultural change from when I was a teenager to now, when you guys are, is monumental. It's insane. It's fantastic. Back in the day, Gerard made some occasional comments about playing with gender presentation (that all us trans people, including those of us that didn't even know yet, hunted down and cherished and kept in our chests for safekeeping), but the idea of doing something so flagrant as headlining Riot Fest in a dress was ludicrous. It would have gotten him booed (still did, even now). It could have gotten him killed. The fact that Gerard Way has stepped on stage three separate times this tour in a dress (so far! it's not over!) is such an incredible, monumental change from when I was a kid and I am so, so happy for you to be experiencing it as kids.

I had a cry about this at a P!ATD concert in 2018, after seeing preteens running down the halls in pride flags, and I feel even more strongly about it now than I did then. That you're able to talk openly about Gerard's gender performance without fear, that you're able to hear them go by he/they pronouns, that you're able to interact with other young fans in the wake of MCR's revival in a safe environment and take in the messages that are at the core of what they stand for? These are beautiful fucking things.

You can't know what it was like, growing up with MCR back in the day. But you get to know what it's like to grow up with them now. Cherish that. In Detroit, Gerard told us to take our meds, and reminded us that we made it. They made it. They fought through the hard parts, fought the demons, and came out the other side better for it. As you watch them put those demons to rest from concert to concert, know that there are older fans cheering you on, so fucking happy to see you sharing this experience with us, and so excited to see what way this changes you. We know it changed us.

#my chemical romance #mcr #mcr 2022 #my chem #gerard way #gender stuff #music stuff #mcr are my heroes and i dont use that word lightly #this tour has only further cemented my deep respect for them as performers and as people #seeing them so full of joy and life is so novel and i dont think it will ever feel like anything short of a miracle

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wormdebut · 4 months

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FEBRUARY MICROFIC - EDDIE IS KINDA…

@steddiemicrofic | PROMPT: edge | WORD COUNT: 509 | Rated: T | CW: internalized homophobia, anxious Steve

——

Here they are again, Eddie on one side of the couch, Steve on the other. Steve isn’t even sure why he’s currently hanging off the edge of his own couch like a fucking weirdo, but he and Eddie stay on their sides.

Which—doesn’t make any sense to him, because he and Tommy would share space and blankets and body heat in the winter and—it was normal. Right?

At least—he thought it was normal—but maybe this was normal, and Steve simply didn’t know any better.

——

Turns out staring at your best guy friend longingly from the edge of your parents stupid ass, hoity-toity sofa is ‘not normal behavior Steve, that’s pretty fucking gay.’

Steve is currently pacing the length of his kitchen, trying to process his stupid dumb conversation with stupid dumb Robin.

He couldn’t be gay—right? That is so—that would be so—Women, you know? But also—Eddie. Eddie is kinda—no! But…yes?

“Fuck!” Steve yells.This is so stupid. Why is this all so fucking confusing?

“Um—Stevie? You alright over there?” Eddie’s voice rings through the kitchen and he tenses.

“Hi, Eddie.” Steve intones, it’s flat. “You know what? I’m not okay. I feel like I’m going insane because I can’t stop thinking about you. Which—don’t get me wrong there are certainly worse people that I could be thinking about—“

“Gee, thanks Stevie.” Eddie offers. Steve keeps rambling—explaining his scattered thoughts to a very red faced Eddie.

“And then Robin said that clearly that means that I’m gay or bi-something—which—I’m not—cause that would be—“

Eddie breathes in with a sharp inhale. “That would be—what, Steve?”

“Well—that would be—“

“That would be.” Eddie quips as he hops off the counter quickly. “Hey—listen Steve, I’m gonna go, okay?”

“Wait!” Steve pleads, “Why?”

Eddie runs his hands over his face. “Because, Steve, I don’t really want to sit here and listen to the guy I have a big fat crush on, panic about how he may or may not feel the same way!”

Eddie—what? He—what?

“Y-you, like me?” Steve asks and Eddie nods. “Then why do you sit so far away from me on movie nights?”

Eddie laughs, “What? Steve, this whole crisis is because of that?”

“Well—yes?” Steve isn’t sure why that’s what set all this off, but it is. He tells Eddie as much and he laughs, again.

“Stop laughing at me Eddie! I’m trying to explain and—“

Eddie cuts him off, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “Steve, baby, I’m not laughing at you.”

Baby. Baby. Baby.

Steve watches as the hand on his shoulder moves, Eddie cups Steve’s cheek and he can’t help but lean into it.

Steve can’t say shit, ‘baby’ still playing on loop in his head.

“I’m laughing because we’re both idiots.” Eddie says, it’s soft, and his stupid eyes are shining. Steve thinks Robin is right.

“Eddie?” Steve breathes. Eddie’s hand is still on his cheek, his thumb running across cheekbone.

“Yeah, baby?”

“Kiss me, please.”

——

Later, Steve and Eddie are on the couch, not a trace of space between them.

Steve couldn’t be happier.

#steddie #ask me about the 750 word first draft #steddiemicrofic #steddiemicroficfebruary #steven harrington #eddie munson #wormbrain #I’m coming out of my writers block n I’m doing JUST FINE

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tiredofthehumanlife · 1 month

Text

He bloody kissed me😱

Barbie dolls: rosekiller x you (Evan rosier, Barty crouch jr, and your gay ass)

Words: 6.7k ish

Summary: gn!reader btw but so basically Barty and Evan decide to include you in their sex life so yeah

Warnings: allusions to Jegulus, Barty gets called a fucktoy, choking, Barty is v submissive and then Evan is like dominant?? And then r is like the medium between the two, KNIVES KNIVES, blood lots of blood, they lap up the blood like hounds, Barty cried during sex but like he's chill dont worry about him, handcuffs Barty is restrained, Voldemort mentioned, Evan quite enjoys degrading Barty, lots of praise, choking with a belt, Barty is the only one who cums, I don't think you people read these, Barty gets called a slut, cumslut, and a whore, cuckolding undertones srry ig, Barty's comes in his pants, is it comes or cums?, Barty's happy trail is mentioned so often it deserves a space in the credits, scarring, cannibalism undertones (they aren't under they're very present), AFTERCARE INCLUDED SUCK MY DICK ITS PART OF SEX, if you know me 😐not anymore

Being friends with Barty and Evan was enjoyable. They were funny, they were nice on occasion, however they were also insane. More specifically they were insane in bed. It wasn't even something you wanted to know. Everything you learned about their sex life was involuntary.

Barty would come in with a new bandage and an impossible to recreate grin. You'd get worried that he got into trouble and ask his what happened. He give you a bright smile and mutter 'ask my boyfriend'. You fell for it everytime, too. Your love for your friends often trumped your common sense. Always so worried for him you'd forget he was a physchopath dating a psychopath. He had shown up with bruises before, a hickey, a bruise on his arm in the shape of a hand, yada yada. If you didn't know them as well as you wished you didn't you would've thought Evan was beating Barty without his consent. Unfortunately you did know them, you knew they were a match made in hell. Bruises and cuts before, sure but never this bad.

From the second Barty entered the Great Hall, you were zoned in on his neck. A long blue stripe spanned across his throat, with more purple in a squarish shape. Evan was happily holding onto Barty's arm over his shoulders. They split when they reached the table, Barty coming to sit next to you and Evan across from him. Dorcas and Pandora were deep in a conversation about the way someone would go about turning into a tree. Regulus was ignoring all of you, deeply focused on his breakfast and the book in his lap. You gripped onto Barty's shoulder staring at his neck.

"Barty, what happened to your neck?" You whispered. Evan snorted across from you. You sent him a glare, assuming he was laughing at Barty.

"Belt." Barty said, reaching around you to steal a sausage off Regulus' plate.

"A belt? Barty, what? Who the hell did you get into a fight with? Who rips off their belt in the middle of a tossle? The fuck is wrong these people?" You started glancing around the Hall to see if you could find someone with a black eye or two.

"Who you looking for, baby?" Evan asked. You turned back to the table to stare at Evan. He raised an eyebrow at you. You looked between Barty's cocky grin and Evan's teasing look. The realization finally hit you, your shoulders slumping. You sighed and ripped your hand away from Barty's shoulder, wiping it off on your shirt.

"You two are filthy. Truly." Barty shrugged. Evan sneakily pulled a slice of toast off of Dorcas' plate. She continued arguing with Pandora about human trees.

"Well you can't lie, you think it's hot." Barty said, leaning in to your personal space. "Don't you, baby" You felt your ears go red. You stared at Barty's smug face. You reached up and pushed him away from you.

"No comment." Evan laughed at you.

"See that's basically a yes." Evan muttered. You shook your head.

"I think you two are disgusting little parasites. It's filthy and foul." You said, crossing your arms. Barty leaned his head on your shoulder, blinking up at you.

"I love it when you talk sexy." You shoved Barty off of you. Evan shrugged. You three went to your regular conversation over your assignments, most of which Barty didn't do and still aced the class.

In fact it wasn't until a week later they brought up their sex life to you, again. This time you shockingly hadn't fallen for their tricks. You were all piled in the boys' dorm. Dorcas, Pandora, and Marlene were all sat on Evan's bed. Marlene was painting Pandora's nails, not that she was very good at it. Dorcas had her head resting on top of Marlene's thigh, 'resting her eyes' as she said. Regulus had laid down for a nap hours ago. He had a very exhausting day, having to speak to Potter and all that. His curtains were drawn and you were glad the others had all silently agreed to stay quiet while speaking. You were sat on Barty's bed, which was next to Evan's. Barty and Evan were sitting next to you. Evan had his head rested on your shoulder, as him and Barty quietly whispered to each other. You were focused on your book, blocking out everyone's voices.

You kept your full attention on the story, the words sweeping you away into another world. Just as things were ramping up, a fight sparking between two characters, Marlene interrupted your train of thought. Her voice dragging you out of the world.

"Are you really going to let them do that next to you?" You gave her a confused look, tilting your head.

"Do what?" As you spoke you turned to look next to you. You found your boys with their tongues down each others throats. Barty had his leg thrown over Evan's lap, pushing Evan's shirt up. Evan yanked at Barty's hair. You were suddenly aware of the wet noises right next to your ear, their moans sending a chill of disgust down your spine.

"Oh! Boys, cut it out." You swatted them with your book. They broke apart sitting straight again. Evan pulled his shirt down. You noticed them both readjusting their pants, much to your dissapointment. You muttered about how nasty they were as you turned back to your book.

"Nothing was stopping you from joining, sweetheart." Evan whispered. You shuttered. You stared moved back to read where yu left off, though now you were unfocused. You could only think of the image of Barty running his nails down Evan's stomach. Evan biting down on Barty's tongue, his hand edging towards the band of Barty's pants. You kept restarting on your paragraph, trying your hardest to focus on the words. All you could think about was them. Within a second you realized your disgust was a red herring. You pretended to gag, you called them gross, you told them they were filthy rabbits, you told them to get a room, but really deep down you were...

attracted to them.

Oh god. Oh god, Oh god. You were attracted to not only your best friends, but your best friends who were dating. Not what do you do. Tell them? Have them stare at you with their 'I'm actively sitting next to my boyfriend' eyes? Ignore it? Just have them be all gross and loving and stuff in front of you all the time? You sighed deeply. It appears your best choice of action is to ignore it. You felt Evan wrap his arm around yours, using it as a pillow.

So you did ignore it, mostly. You really just stared at them wistfully as they went about loving each other and leaving the evidence of their long nights out in the open. It felt like they were taunting you with their hickeys, bruises, and kisses. Their gentle touches, showing the other they loved them, burning your own skin. They were completely clueless, just being in a happy realationship. All the while their best friend was yearning for them to touch you in the way they did each other. They did seem to catch the shift in tension. They hadn't said anything yet, but they'd share glances with each other.

Finally they did sit you down under the impression you were meeting up to get Regulus to confess his feelings. Barty held onto both your hands as he revealed that this meeting wasn't about Regulus, it was about you. Evan asked what was wrong, what was going on. You gave them both a confused look, lying and saying 'what i have no ideaaaaaa'. They both glared at you, giving you time to gather your own courage. You three sat in silence as you sucked in a deep breath.

"Okay yeah, well so basically-" You paused suddenly feeling like you should lie more to get yourself out of this terrible situation. You stared at the dormitory floor, wishing you were anywhere but Barty's bed.

"I am totally into these two hufflepuffs. I just I can't pick which one I want more. I just- It's all I can think about. And I know I've been distracted. But I will be working on focusing on my friends more. I know it must've been putting a strain on our friendship but I'm working on it." Lies, but hey why communicate when you could fib. Barty squeezed your hands. Evan sighed and rolled his eyes. So mayhaps they saw through it. Mayhaps they'll ignore it and let you slide.

"Do you genuinely think you're good at lying or do you just think we're stupid?" Evan asked. You gave him a confused look. You shook your head.

"I don't- I have no idea what you're talking about right-"

"Be serious."

"Okay so I lied. I'm a fibber. What about it?" You caved the second Barty spoke up. You had the backbone of an uncooked spaghetti noddle, but you still gave it a shot.

"Can you just tell us what's going on? You keep being weird." Evan groaned, crossing his arms. You sighed and pulled your hands out of Barty's.

"Alright fine, so maybe the Hufflepuffs were you. But maybe we don't need to talk about that or address that at all. Maybe ignoring it all was the friends we made along the way." Barty grabbed onto your hands again, Evan squatting down in front of you.

"Well, darling, have you considered that maybe we're totally into you too?" Barty asked, lightly squeezing your hands. Evan rested his hands on your knees.

"Obviously not." Evan muttered.

"Listen, the feelings are mutual. We've discovered this now. We're also sitting on a bed." Barty gestured to his sheets underneath you. Evan scoffed.

"Of course you're suggesting intercourse at a time like this." You whispered.

"You're not saying no." Evan pointed out.

"I am not, I am saying though, not now. Give me like a week or so to wrap my head around all this jazz." And with that you left to think. You retracted. You stayed quiet and ignored you friends. All of your energy put into figuring out what you wanted to do. It ended up only taking you about 3 days of silence for you to realize what you wanted to do. Which was to fuck them for a month straight, but you'd settle for a few minutes.

Within a flash of an eye you were searching for them all over the castle. You evenyually found them, sitting on the couch with Barty's head resting on Evan's shoulder. They were both decked in their pajamas, cozily curled up against each other. You stood in front of them waiting on them to look up at you. Evan did first, Barty's eyes closed. As they both stared at you, you steeled yourself.

"I know what I want." Evan nodded, giving you encouragement to finish your thought. "I want you to show me everything." They both looked at each other before standing. Evan latched onto your hand before grabbing onto Barty by the back of his shirt. Evan dragged you both up the stairs, his grip gentler on you. You were smiling the whole way up the staircase. Barty caught a glimpse of your face and blew you a kiss.

Barty moved to his bed, taking you with him. He laid down on his back and patted the mattress next to him. You sat next to him and watched him unbutton his shirt. Evan squatted down next to his bed digging under it. Barty smiled up at you pointing to his lips before puckering them. You met his demands, leaning down to him. Barty quickly buried his hand on the back of your head, tugging the hair between his fingers. You groaned into his mouth. Barty took the opertunity to slip his tongue past your lips. You felt Barty's hand leave your head, only to be replaced by another hand. Evan pulled your head back, your throat being fully exposed. Evan dipped his head down, dragging his teeth down the column of your neck. You heard Barty sigh under you both. Evan pulled back and set a shoebox on top of Barty's chest, using him a table. Evan pulled the lid off, glancing up at you to make sure your attention was on him.

"This is most of everything, babe. We're still learning what's enjoyable and what's not. I thought we'd start here. Barty is our test subject, for today. Trust me, he wont mind." Evan said. You leaned forward peering into the box. What you found wasn't really all that intresting, a belt, lube, condoms, a knife, handcuffs that looked particularly cheap, but it was more the gaurentee of what was to come, Barty. You felt a grin grow, looking up at Evan. He nodded.

"Knew you'd be curious. So here's my preposition, I'll do something and you watch. Then if you wanted to try, I could talk you through it, yeah?" You nodded excitedly at Evan. Evan removed the box from Barty, instead setting it next to you on the bed. Barty sat up and slipped his shirt off entirely, dropping it to the floor. Evan straddled Barty's hips. Barty pinned his hands underneath Evan's legs. Barty looked giddy. You sat next to them, watching them intently. Evan sighed, running his hands up and down Barty's chest.

"Barty doesn't really need much of anything, he's truly just a fuck toy. He quite enjoys choking, but the belt is really something that needs more buildup." You listened intently to Evan. You wanted to pay your full attention to Evan but he kept tweaking Barty's nipples while talking. Evan slid his hand up to Barty's throat. Evan squeezed, watching Barty's grin grow. Barty stared up at Evan. His eyes slipped away from Evan's to yours. Evan squeezed harder making Barty's eyes roll back.

"How do you know you're not hurting him, more than he wants I mean?" You asked, looking away from Barty to look at Evan. Evan smiled at you, glad you were excited to learn.

"He'll tap me three times if he wants me to stop, or he'll say 'snakes'. " Evan turned his focus back to Barty. Barty's mouth had gone slack, staring up at the ceiling. Evan looked back to you.

"Do you wanna try?" You felt a wave of warmth pass over you at the question. You nodded. You were slightly concerned that you'll do it wrong. Barty's face and Evan's muttered praises as you took Evan's place. You straddled Barty as he breathed harder, catching his breath.

You felt his bulge pressing into your leg as you settled your hands on his stomach. Evan sat where you were, next to the box, off to the side. Evan rubbed your shoulder as you traced Barty's happy trail. Evan gently grabbed the back of your hand pulling it up towards Barty's neck. You looked to Barty, uncertain that he didn't just enjoy choking because Evan was the one doing it. Barty smiled up at you, nodding eagerly. Evan pressed a kiss to your shoulder, placing your hand on Barty's throat. Evan took his hand off yours, giving you a moment to pull away if you needed. He placed his hand back on yours, squeezing on the sides.

"Squeeze him like that, yeah?" You nodded, mimicking Evan's force. Barty was smiling at you the whole time, egging you on.

"Harder. Pretty please, darling?" Barty muttered. You glanced at Evan, out of the corner of your eye. Evan nodded, reasueingly rubbing your arm. He ran his hand down to yours, showing you how to add more pressure properly. When Evan removed his hand and you took over, Barty moaned. He opened his mouth again. You wanted to lean over to Evan and ask why Barty did that but it felt mean. You were enjoying the look on Barty's face. You looked over at Evan with a growing grin. Evan smiled at you.

"Yeah?" You nodded, looking back down at Barty. You realeased your grip. Barty opened his eyes watching as your hand returned to his happy trail. Evan ignored Barty's whining, focusing on you in stead.

"What's next? You wanna pick from the box?" Evan asked. You nodded, although you were starting to feel like Evan was babying you. You leaned over Barty to look inside the box. You pulled the handcuffs out, showing them to Evan. He took the out of your hands.

"Barty, hands up." Barty raised his arms from his sides. Evan pulled the handcuffs through the top part of the headboard. You helped move Barty's hands to the handcuffs. Evan pulled Barty's wrists into them, locking the cuffs. Evan noticed the worring look on your face.

"He can get out of them if he wants to, they're actually a toy from like a random gas station in the middle of nowhere." You looked back to see Barty waving around his free hand. Evan tsked pulling Barty's hand back towards the cuffs. Barty grinned, leaving his hands above his head. He sent you a wink as you looked back into the box. Evan looked with you, curious it see what you would pull out next. You glanced over at him, meeting his eyes. He gave you an encouraging look as you reached into the shoebox. You pulled out the knife, holding the handle out to Evan. Evan smiled at you, taking the Knife out of your hands.

Now that you were actually looking at it you could tell it was less of a knife and more of a dagger. The handle and sheath was green, tiny gemstones forming flowers. If you didn't have an impatient Barty bucking his hips up into yours, you would've marveled at the beauty.

Evan pulled the sheath off the dagger, who knew a knife could get prettier with its clothes off? It was very pretty, two small slivers of space in the middle dragging from the handle down towards the tip. If you were Barty, you'd be quite excited. Evidently he was, moaning at the sound of Evan pulling the knife out of the sheath. Evan looked up at you to make sure you were paying attention before moving the dagger towards Barty. Evan gently dragged it over his skin, doing nothing more than enticing Barty.

"Pay attention, baby. You have to be gentle. You don't want to hurt him, more than usual." You followed along, watching Evan's hands. Evan placed one hand further up Barty's chest, the other one spinning the blade around. Evan pointed the tip down, pressing the metal into Barty's stomach. He dragged it down slowly, a small trail of blood following it. Barty groaned. You ignored him, focusing on Evan. Evan looked up at you as he pulled the bloody blade away, showing you the small mark he left. It was barely two inches big, off to the side. You stared at the red on the side of blade. Something deep inside you told you to lean forward and run your tongue over the blade. You didn't.

You gently took the blade out of Evan's hand. He nodded at you, whispering something about 'being good'. You didn't catch it but felt it was an inappropriate time to bring up your chronic 'huh?'-ing. You stared down at Barty, checking with him again if he was ready. Barty smiled at you, bucking his hips up. You groaned and shot your hands down to his hips. You pushed them down into the mattress.

"Sit still." You ordered, your tone biting at Barty's grin. He wanted to roll his eyes but your and Evan's wicked smiles made him reconsider. Barty stayed still, waiting. You brought the knife down towards his stomach. Off to the left side of his bellybutton closer to his hipbone. You watched Barty's reaction as you made a small cut in a downwards angle. Evan encouraged you with a kiss to your cheek as Barty whimpered underneath you. You watched the cut dribble out blood, a swam of excitement passing over your skin making you flush more. You looked up to Barty's contorted face. His eyebrows pushed up, his teeth digging into his inner cheek, eyes squeezed shut.

"Good?" You muttered, patting his face. Barty opened his eyes, looking up at your concerned face. You saw tears swelling in his waterline. He nodded egearly, flashing his teeth to settle your worries.

You pulled back, looking back at the cut you made. It was smaller than Evan's on Barty's other hip. You glanced over at that one to compare the two. Just to make sure you were doing it right. You noticed a scar under Evan's cut. It was two letters, ER made out of small cuts. You glanced over at Evan to see his cocky grin. He raised an eyebrow at you. You turned back to your cut, deciding you'd make a similar mark. Although you expected it to only last for tonight, a wand's flick and it's gone. You pressed the blade to the end of the last cut, pulling it up. Barty whined again, tugging at his cuffs.

You pulled the blade back admiring your downward pointing arrow. You stared at the blood making a mess on Barty's skin. You checked on Evan, finding him watching the blade with all the intensity of a man watching his best friend butcher his boyfriend. Consensually, of course. You glanced at Barty's face, seeing his tears rolling down his cheeks in a mess. He seemed to sense your concern immediately speaking to you.

"Good. 's good. So good, please keep going, please." His words pushed against each other, mixing together from his desperation. You focused back on his side, wiping away some of blood that was obstructing your view. You made 4 more cuts, turning the downward arrow into a small heart. With each stroke of your hands, Barty let out a whine. Evan started to coo at Barty, the longer you spent at his hip. Evan leaned towards Barty's face, brushing his hair away from his sweaty forehead. Evan muttered to Barty degradation in his soft tone.

It was quite confusing, his tone made it sound nice but when you focused on Evan's words you felt sick to your stomach. When you finally pulled back from Barty's hip there was a lovely little heart on the opposite side of Evan's initials. You looked up to see Barty's face wet with his tears and his eyes red. You creened, leaning forward to kiss Barty's wet cheeks.

"You're such a good boy, Barty. I'm so proud of you, doing such a good job for us." You muttered in his ear as Evan called him a slut in the other. Barty whined at the contrasting words. You pulled back from his face, looking down at the heart. The surrounding area was red with blood and flushed pain. You met Evan's eyes. He left a kiss on Barty's cheekbone before leaning towards you. He stared down at the heart, complimenting your good work. While you enjoyed how the cuts had effected Barty, his bulge pressing into your inner thigh desperately hard, you liked seeing his blood more. You wanted to lick Barty's stomach clean. You stared at Evan. He looked at you confused.

"Can I lick it?" You muttered, scared to ask much louder than a breath. Evan stared at you for a second as a grin that would make Voldemort himself quiver with fear. He gave you a small nod. You looked to Barty, his chest was heaving, his eyes still red and his arms still held tightly above his head. He nodded aggressively, trying to get his message across as fast as possible.

"Do it." Barty whispered. Evan tsked at Barty.

"Manners, Barty. Be nice to our quest." Evan chided Barty, pushing his hair back again. Barty nodded against Evan's hand.

"I'll be good. I'll be good, I promise. Rosie, I promise." Barty whined, his words mashing together again. You ignored Evan's coos as you dropped your head to Barty's hip. You tentatively swiped the tip of your tongue over a small drop of blood away from the cuts. You heard Barty moan as your eyes rolled back from his metallic taste. You were no longer taking small steps, he was too good to not spoil. You flattened your tongue out licking up every drop of Barty's blood. Loud moans rolled off Barty's tongue as you continued your work. You loved the extreme intimacy of it, also the bloody taste but that's a separate matter.

You felt Evan's hand met the back of your head again, pulling your face away from Barty's stomach. His eyes snagged on the dark shadow smeared over the bottom half of your face.

He always scolded you for being a messy eater. Evan never considered he'd find your freaky grin splattered with his boyfriend's blood so attractive. The room had gotten darker somewhere between choking Barty and now, though you weren't sure when too focused on Barty and Evan.

So no Evan couldn't see the exact shade of red on your face but he could still taste the copper on your lips. Barty told Evan he was a messy kisser, clacking teeth and sloppily slipping his tongue into Barty's mouth. But Barty had never seen Evan like this.

Evan was swiping his tongue everywhere but your mouth it seemed. He was rabid, more than usual. Evan was messily and harshly kissing you, his hand holding onto your hair tightly. Evan was moaning into your lips as he tried to get more of the coppery taste of Barty's blood in his mouth. Evan liked the taste the Barty, but he thinks he might like the taste of Barty more when he takes it from your mouth.

You pulled back from the kiss, dropping to Barty's hip again. You swiped your mouth over the surrounding area of Barty's cuts, occasionally tracing the lines with the tip of your tongue. The feeling of warmth from your mouth around his wounds made Barty wail in pleasure. He wanted to yank at your hair as much as Evan already has.

Barty pulled at the cuffs above his head. You lifted your head, looking up at Barty. He understood why Evan pounced on you like that before. The sight of his blood smeared across your mouth made him want to kiss it off like Evan already had. You leaned in towards Barty's face. Barty could smell the copper on you as you tilted your head. Barty learched his head forward, colliding his lips with yours.

He moaned at the taste of his own blood invading his mouth. Evan rubbed your back as he moved behind you. You nipped at Barty's bottom lip. He messily tried to lick at the blood around your mouth as he kissed you. You pulled away from his lips, sliding down to his neck. You swirled your tongue around him as you dragged your teeth over his skin.

Barty moaned, yanking at the cuffs holding his arms up again. You slid your free hand up Barty's throat, over his chin, and to his mouth. You slipped two of your fingers past his lips. Barty reacted instantly, swiping his tongue over your fingertips. You could feel the blood on your face smearing onto Barty's neck as you made yet another hickey. You pulled back letting his skin go. Evan helped you sit up straight, holding on to you by your waist. You pointed the tip of the dagger at Barty, making him whimper around your fingers.

"You'll be a good little slut and listen to us, won't you?" Your tone was edging on pity. Barty nodded, his movement restrained by your fingers pressing into his tongue. Evan pulled his chin over your shoulder, pressing his lips to your ear.

"You're doing good. Do you want me to show you the belt now?" You grinned as you nodded. Evan lightly kissed you before focusing back on the box. He plucked the dagger from your hands, much to your disappointment. You pulled your hand away from Barty's mouth back to his chest. Evan put the knife back it's rightful sheath before taking the belt out from the box. He tapped Barty's chin. Barty lifted his head up. Evan slid the belt behind Barty's head. He glanced at you as he slipped the end through the buckle and pulled. It wasn't tight enough to squeeze Barty yet but it was close enough that it wouldn't slip off. Evan held the end of the belt out towards you. You took it, still straddling Barty's hips. Evan moved behind you, running his hands up and down your back as he whispered to you.

"Now pull." You listened to Evan, yanking on the strap. The leather around Barty's neck tightened as his jaw went slack.

"Good. Tighter." You turned your head, looking back at Evan. He gave you a nod. You pulled on the end of the belt again, this time gentler. Barty's eyes rolled back before he refocused on staring at you. He looked like he was going to cry again. Evan hummed running his hands around from your back to your stomach.

"Release it." You loosened your grip on the strap. The belt around Barty's throat quickly loosened as he sucked in a breath. Barty's chest heaved up and down as he caught up with his lungs. Evan nodded against your shoulder, pulling you closer to him. After Barty finally evened his breaths Evan whispered to you again.

"Again. Pull." You stared into Barty's eyes as you pulled again, this time getting the right tightness on the first try. Barty let out a strangled groan. You watched Barty's face as Evan's hands traveled upwards. Your shirt gathered around his wrists as Evan moved his hands up towards your nipples. Evan pressed a kiss to your temple.

"Release." You let the end of the belt slide through your hands. Barty gasped as his breath returned. Evan nodded. As Evan gave you his repetitive instructions, you found the pace of the pulling and releasing. You were able to torment Barty's airway without Evan's instruction. Evan seemed to be quite proud of this, kissing along the curve of your neck. Barty was enjoying this more than the two of you combined, his eyes rolling back and moans slipping past his lips everytime you tightened the belt.

You liked it. A lot. You liked watching the belt dig into Barty's skin. You liked his moans. You liked his erection pressing against your leg. You liked how he left his life in your hands with the hope for pleasure. You liked how Barty's moans encouraged Evan to roll your nipples between his fingers and suck harder on your neck. You liked how Evan's motions made you grind down on Barty's lap, making Barty groan. Starting the cycle all over again.

You kept your pace with the belt, giving Barty time to catch his breath and not die. You leaned back against Evan's chest. You pulled your arm back, resting your hand on the back of Evan's head. You watched Barty's eyes focus on you again, staring at Evan's hand as it slid down your chest. You yanked on the belt again. Barty tilted his head back, whimpering loudly. Your hips moved on their own, grinding down on Barty again.

Evan groaned in your ear, dipping his hand down to the waistband of your pants. You shook your head against Evan, dropping your hand from his hair to the back of his hand. You dragged his fingers back to your chest. Evan easily accepted this, going back to tweaking your nipples. You keep pulling and releasing the belt while you bucked your hips against Barty's. His pajama pants were thin, which made it all the more exciting. You released the belt again, giving Barty time to catch up with the world again. Evan pulled his chin over your shoulder to stare down at Barty.

"You're loving all the attention, aren't you? You're such a pathetic fucking cumslut." Evan mocked Barty's moans, as Barty yanked at his handcuffs again. Just as Barty was about to bite a quip back to Evan, you yanked on the end of the belt. The leather dug into the skin of Barty's neck. You realized now why Barty's neck was always bruised, he talked too much. Evan chuckled. His laugh vibrated through you, his chest pressed against your back.

"Look at you, learning so well. Shutting Barty up like that, I'm proud of you." Evan whispered, his lips pressing against your ear. Your grip on the belt faultered from your shiver. Barty let in a fast breath. Evan tsked next to you, holding onto your hand with his. He tightened the belt, pecking your jaw.

Evan turned his attention back to your nipples, as you focused back on grinding down onto Barty's lap. You picked but the pace of tightening and releasing easily. As Barty started to get more desperate, bucking his hips up, you quickened the pace. Evan licked up your neck, nipping under your chin. You moaned, dropping your head back on Evan's shoulder. Through the split seconds of peace, Barty liked the image of you grinding against him with his boyfriend sucking at your neck.

Your tightest squeeze around his neck, coupled with your loudest moan from Evan, was what pushed Barty over the edge. Wetting his boxers and thin pajama pants. His head was light from the lack of air and the heavy pleasure. You dropped the tail end of the belt, giving all your attention to Evan. You pulled him back from your neck, meeting his lips feveriously.

Barty watched you both intently as he ignored the feeling of his underwear sticking to him. You nipped at Evans bottom lip as he slipped his tongue past your lips. You dragged your teeth over it, before pulling back to stare down at Barty with a mocking look.

"Awe did our little whore cum in his pants? All untouched. Pitiful." You mocked his blissed outface. Barty lolled his head to the side, letting it rest on his bicep. You gently dragged your finger over his happy trail. Evan moved out from behind you, sitting next to Barty's tired body. You traced around the little heart by Barty's hip. Barty let out a whimper, nuzzling his face against Evan's hand.

"Yeah? Baby's tired?" Evan said, in a high pitched voice you'd used on a dog with a broken leg. Barty made a pathetic noise, nodding his head. You gently slipped your fingers between Barty's bruised neck and the leather belt. You pulled, slipping the belt off of him. Barty closed his eyes, leaning further towards Evan. Evan reached up to the headboard, releasing Barty's wrists. Barty dropped his arms, if you didn't know better you'd mock him for his broken marionette position. You rolled the belt up, gently placing it in the box. You held your hand out for the handcuffs from Evan, dropping those into the box as well.

You helped Evan, help Barty up onto his feet. You both gently lead Barty to the bathroom, taking the box with you.

When you three entered, turning on the light, you looked to the mirror. You found your face was still tinted red from Barty, as long as your hands. You looked over Evan. He had a red tint too, spefically over his lips, you wondered if he'd still taste like copper. Barty was the worst of all, he looked like he tried to make great friends with a bear. His neck would most definitely be bruising, his hair was sweaty and pointing in odd directions, his own blood smeared and dried around his bottom lip and down his throat. He had a smile on though, gazing at you both with loving eyes.

Evan turned both bathtub knobs to the max, dipping his hand under the water before tinkering with the temperature.

"Oh, Evan Darling, where is your wand?" Evan gestured to his bed, helping Barty step out of his now soaked pants. You quickly fetched it before handing it over to Evan. Evan pointed the tip at Barty's stomach. Barty grumbled, yanking the wand out of Evan's hands.

"I want the scar. It's a little heart, how could I not love it?" Evan hummed at Barty's bargaining. Evan glanced over at you. You shrugged and held your hands up, instead focusing on making a warm bubble bath for Barty.

"I suppose." Evan muttered. You know if Barty had access to all of his Barty brain he'd 'yippee' though now you settled from his little sigh of triumph. Evan pointed his wand back at Barty's cuts, quickly scaring over them like they've been there for years. Barty smiled happily running his fingers over the new heart scar. Evan turned back to you, finding the bath dyed acid green and a pile of bubbles on top. Evan gave you a grimace. You scoffed at him, latching on to Barty's hand.

"Have you never heard of fun? Whimsy? Joy and all things nice? Party pooper." You muttered as you helped Barty into the bath. Barty grinned up at Evan.

"It's great. Love, love, love green." Evan rolled his eyes at Barty. You both assisted Barty through his bathing routine, praising him for how well he did tonight. Evan focused mainly on Barty's hair routine as you whispered to Barty appreciation for his hard work. You switched roles when it came to washing Barty's body.

You worked on the stains, being gentle to his bruises. Evan's praises made Barty hide his face in your arm, as you rinsed him off.

As you drained the tub Evan set out pajamas for Barty on the sink counter. You helped dry off Barty. You asked if he wanted to blow dry his hair, Barty said it was 'too mother fucking loud'. Evan dressed Barty, sealing his new outfit with a peck to Barty's cheek. Barty hopped up on the counter, watching as Evan wiped your face clean. You cleaned his chin with the same wet rag.

Then you three brushed your teeth, Barty trying to fight you over the sink territory. You did not amuse him, rolling your eyes at him and moving to Evan's sink. Barty tucked himself into Evan's bed. Evan washed off the dagger in his sink as you scrubbed under your nails.

"Are you guys going to come give me love or just stand in the bathroom all day." Barty yelled across the room into the bathroom. Evan scoffed and wiped the knife off with a towel. Evan leaned his head out the bathroom door.

"Barty, respectfully, shut your fucking mouth." Evan turned back to the dagger, sheathing it and putting back in its place.

"Make me, bitch." Evan stared up at the ceiling when Barty's voice chimed again. You continued to run the tiny brush under your nails as you stood in the bathroom door frame.

"We're almost done, Baby. Just be patient." You said towards the Barty shaped pile of blankets. You moved back to the sink, rinsing the suds off. Evan closed the shoebox, flicking his wand at it. The box flew out the bathroom and tucked itself under Evan's bed, as you assumed.

"I'm no good at that." Barty said, although it was muffled from the 900 blankets stacked on top of him. Evan kissed your cheek, smiling at your now unstained hands.

"We can tell." Evan muttered. Evan turned the bathroom light off on his way out. He dragged you towards his bed, pointing at the mattress.

"I heard that."

"I know." Evan rolled his eyes as he walked over to Barty's bed. You tucked yourself into Evan's bed. Barty quickly snuggled up against you, wrapping his arms around you, squeezing tightly. He intertwined your legs.

"Alright give me a little oxygen." You whispered. Barty grumbled, loosening his grip. You glanced over at Evan watching him swish his wand at the mattress. He came back muttering about clean sheets. Evan spooned Barty, reaching over him to hold your hand. Barty fell asleep first, snoring loudly. You were next, falling asleep feeling Evan press a peck to your temple.

#rosekiller x reader #evan rosier #evan rosier x reader #evan rosier x barty crouch jr #barty crouch junior #barty crouch jr #barty x evan #barty x reader #barty crouch jr x reader #rosekiller #the marauders era #the maraunders map #marauders era #marauders #the marauders #dead gay wizards #evan x barty #evan x reader #yeah okay

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ryuttaeng · 3 months

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could you possibly do either hcs or a fic of new itzy member reader who was the each of the girls gay awakening?? i feel like chaeryeong would be panicking and really nervous because she hasnt felt something like this and so strongly too 😭🥹

okay so you were added to the group members lineup at the very last moment, you barely knew any basic info about each members and nearly freaked out when you first actually met them. itzy’s reaction wasn’t so bad, but wasn’t very pleasant either…. at least at first. ever since you performed together, you grew closer to each members. how could they not notice how insanely beautiful you are??? and you were also kind but had a struggle with opening up to new people but anyway, you’re their bff now! or at least for now.

i guess yeji would be so dumbfounded when she realizes that she likes you??? and not in a friendly way??? girlie is so nervous about that fact and she just can’t handle it but to tell to her members but she can’t because they’ve never discussed same-sex relationship before 😭 she always thought she was into guys only, and even if she liked a girl, she would think it was just a friendly sympathy. yeji would also get so smiley around you and will often just smile to her own thoughts. if she will have enough courage to confess to you, she will make her best to do that in private, and also would try to be romantic. but my pookie is just so nervous, she will stutter and almost tripped over when she came 😭🤞🏻🤞🏻 thank goodness you just simply kissed yeji and asked her to be your girlfriend faster than her.

LIA MY BELOVED 😞😞😞 i think she will just simply accept the fact that you’re the first girl she ever liked as not a friend. eventually she’ll ask her gay friends how to confess to you properly and will ask some advices how to give you hints that she likes you lmao 😭 she will always touch your hand, always leaning on your shoulder during breaks on practices and just will rub circles on your arm while holding your hand and you’re just like 🤷🏻‍♀️ you’re okay w it and don’t really pay attention to it. lia would reveal her feelings by getting jealous when one of members were jokingly flirting with you 😭 she would just storm out of the room, making you confused and go after her. asking her what’s wrong and she will kiss you quickly, and after that lia would get so shy 😭😭🤞🏻 but you just chuckle and hug her tightly, kissing her cheek.

ryujin will just go 🧍🏻‍♀️ when she realizes that she have feelings for you. girl would occasionally flirt with you but you just laughed it off, thinking it’s just her personality and she will just be like “oh well yep 🧍🏻‍♀️”. she would complain to other members that it would be easier to have feelings for some guy and not you instead, but you come into the room with “have feelings for who?” and bae will just be “no one 🧍🏻‍♀️” help 😭😭🤞🏻how she would confess? she would get so wistful one day and it made you feel worried for her. “are you okay ryu?” and she will just automatically nod and not pay attention to anyone. at the end of the day you’ll sit down beside ryujin, telling her that you’re worried about her, and she will just go “i think i like you, y/n. no- i don’t think, just- oh well….” 😭😭😭 she’s so nervous but you calm her down by kissing her nose aww

I AGREE W YOU ON CHAERYEONG. she’s my cutie that nearly freaks out when her friend told her that she has feelings for you 🤞🏻😭 i also think that she will distance herself from you to reflect about her feeling towards you and it will also affect you by making you worried about chae. members would notice that something about you two is wrong and would try to do something about it, for example, they would interrogate chaer that is there’s bad blood between her and you? but she would get so nervous that she would just straight say that she has feeling for you 😭😭 other members would support ryeong and tell some advices how to get closer w you and how to confess. one day members would call you to help them out with something but once you’re at the place, you see only chaeryeong in the room, beautifully dressed and nervously fidgeting her fingers 😭 she would confess to you after a few minutes of overthinking, so scared about your reaction but! you took her hands in yours, telling her that her feelings are mutual and she’s just so happy to hear that 😭😭😭🤞🏻

bae yuna would giggle whenever looking at you and leaving you wondering what was that. she would feel so lightheaded about her feelings to you, that she almost forgot to do or take something. i feel like she would have some diary where she writes about you, her feelings for you and overall just you. she would hide it really hard, thinking that you would think she’s some freak 😭 but aye ryujin would’ve find it first and tease younger shin for that 🤞🏻😭😭😭 but i’m sure ryu would’ve helped yuna to confess to you, giving her some advices. yuna would ask you out to the restaurant, and will calmly confess to you after eating. after hearing your ‘yes’ yuna’s face lit up and she just started kissing your face 🤞🏻😞

#itzy imagines #kpop imagines #yeji x female!reader #lia x female!reader #ryujin x female!reader #chaeryeong x female!reader #yuna x female!reader #itzy x female!reader #itzy x you #itzy soft hours #kpop headcanons #itzy headcanons #kpop fluff #itzy fluff #yeji fluff #lia fluff #ryujin fluff #chaeryeong fluff #yuna fluff

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wowevenmoreloveonearth · 5 months

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You know what? I have become a gaylor sympathiser

This is going to be a long post, sorry! Please read the full post before even thinking about commenting.

Over the past few days I’ve seen a few posts on my dash about taylor swift and her fans that have left a bad taste in my mouth.

I know that a lot of people think that some fans of her are “trying to make her gay” and I just wanted to put the record straight and defend some people after actually looking at what’s going on. And I know I’m probably opening myself up for tumblr’s poor reading comprehension but before I start I’m going to say this:

I do not think taylor swift is a lesbian

Ok? Now let’s have a conversation.

First of all from what I’ve seen most of the fans who talk about Taylor swift and queerness do it from a point of literary analysis and learning queer history. This is a huge part of the community and lots of people have said that they never would have learnt so much about queer history without reading taylor swift’s works through a queer lens.

Adding on to that point, it seems a little hypocritical for the gay site which loves queer readings of books, tv shows, songs, musicals, films etc to be bullying a pretty small group of people who are mainly doing queer readings of lyrics. Especially when those people get near constant death threats. Instead of bullying these people (who don’t think or do what you think they think and do) why don’t you go outside and think “does this affect me? No. Do I agree with them? No. Am I going to cyber bully them because of this? No.”

Secondly, for the people who believe that any speculation on a real persons sexuality is 100% wrong. I used to think this too but I have changed my mind a bit about this recently after stopping and thinking about it properly. I’m not trying to change your mind at all I just want you to stop and think for a minute.

If you only get mad when speculation is queer in nature, then maybe think about that for a minute. Why is it totally wrong to think a person might be queer. We probably do it in our daily lives with people we know and they likely do it with us, back in the day that’s how queer people found each other-by speculating on sexuality. Would you be upset if you found out someone that you know thought you might be queer? I wouldn’t, maybe you would but if you would, why? Why is it terrible to think someone might be queer (this is NOT about hounding a person to admit to being queer like shawn mendes, this is just thinking in your head and on your small blog that the person will likely never see). Also this is literally the website where we talk about historical (real people) being gay even when they would have never said something to the equivalent.

An addition to this point before people start saying in the comments is that this is NOT the same situation as with kit connor. The issue there was people assuming that he was straight and taking that role away from a queer person. Speculating that he was queer was the opposite of what happened in that situation. So this is not an example of what happens when you speculate queerness.

Final things to say:

1) don’t believe every post you see with someone looking insane about taylor swift being gay, a lot of them are fake.

2) before anyone says “they should listen to real queer artists instead” most of them very much do. There’s a lot of fans of Hayley kiyoko, girl in red, Janelle monae, tegan and sara, zolita, kehlani etc.

3) there are some queer flags that are there. Sorry but there are. Hairpin drops, lavender, the ladder, flag colours, songs about women, friend of dorothy reference. Whether they are intentional is a different matter.

4) shipping real people is not what is happening for the majority of the people in the community. Also this comes back to queer vs straight again. Plenty of swifties ship taylor with men she’s been seen with and no one goes into their inboxes and sends death threats even when they are the ones making taylor swift all about the men she may or may not have dated.

5) taylor swift has never stated her sexuality. I know this may be hard to belive based off of how some people act, but it’s true. She has made vague statements which could have many meanings but she has never clearly stated anything. When gaylors get upset with taylor it is not because she said she is straight, it’s because they are getting death threats and doxxed and she seems to either be unaware of it (which is unlikely given how she seems to be a little terminally online) or she doesn’t care enough to tell her fans to stop.

6) if she does explicitly say she’s straight then there will probably be disappointment in her use of queer history and flags and her potential queer erasure (as we saw with lavender haze, with straight women describing their relationships as lavender) and centring herself in queer spaces (like the you need to calm down music video) but no one will be angry that she’s not gay. And a lot will probably be grateful that she actually explicitly stated for the record to absolve any confusion. The main issue would likely be other fans ramping up the death threats and bullying.

In conclusion: these people who do queer analysis of Taylor’s work are not trying to out her or make her gay etc. if you don’t understand it that’s fine it’s clearly not for you and you can go quite easily without seeing any of it. It’s not illegal to read works through a queer lens and if it means more people know about queer history then I think that’s a very good thing.

I changed my mind after looking at what a lot of people are actually saying rather than what people perceive them to be saying and maybe you will too?

Just be kinder to people online please and if you don’t like what people are saying block them and do not engage!

#taylor swift #long post #gaylor #gaylor swift #friend of dorothea #friends of dorothea #lgbtqia

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antimony-medusa · 7 months

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on Consequences in minecraft streaming

Okay so one of the real common things that I've been seeing lately is an increasingly passionate call for certain characters to experience Consequences (and the rest of the post always makes it clear that they mean a specific type of definatively negative repercussions) for their actions during QSMP events. And aside from the absolute deja vu of having seen these same calls when DSMP was airing, and how that turned out (sorry, the syndicate did not all have a meeting where they apologized for their sins while tommy told them they were horrible people), I'm not 100% sure if that's going to happen or pan out in the exact way that I think people are aiming for and expecting will happen.

I keep seeing a lot of people saying that it would be bad writing if people don't get "consequences" for their actions, and what they're specifically asking for is punishment and for people to realize what they're doing was wrong. BBH is supposed to repent for furniture thefts and torturing the people keeping him from his kid. Phil is supposed to realize that actually he's good at PVP and apologize for saying that his team has been suffering in purgatory. Tubbo is supposed to fill in his tubhole and only do things other people ask him to do.

But like, so much of the time, what we're seeing is these streamers being interested in writing morally grey characters, just some little guys who make bad decisions, and the thing about characters being morally grey is that they don't always have a come to jesus moment and become morally pure. Sometimes they just keep being morally grey. Sometimes they get worse on purpose.

Maybe BBH never decides that torturing that guy was bad, because he wanted to get his FUCKING KID back. Like, I seriously think you have to be prepared for that character arc to never end in Bad going "that was wrong to do", and maybe his cubito will still be happy. Phil is a dude with anxiety who's been sure that his kids are going to die from the moment he got to purgatory, streaming at 1-4 in the morning while other teams break into their base, even if bolas goes insane and scrapes out a win I think it's way more likely that that team is gonna go "what a wild fluke that's the power of gas masks" and not have a moment where they go "it was unfair of us to assume that we were underpowered, I guess everybody else was the underdogs! Our bad." Tubbo is tubbo, he's already building a new create thing, he is not going to apologize for leaving marks on the landscape with mod packs.

Like, the streamers are interested in making human characters, making interesting decisions, not communicating moral lessons to their fanbases. Bad is operating within a Taken film, not a sermon. Quackity wants his cubito to be pathetic, gay, and out for revenge, not to communicate the importance of forgiveness to those who hurt you. Tubbo's victory condition is having a nice date with Fred, full stop, does not care who he has to run over to get there.

Absolutely I think there are people intentionally doing corruption/villany arcs on the server, and they probably intend for that to lead places. There will be Consequences, as in, things will happen. Cellbit is doing cannibalsm on purpose, and not as a teaching moment about how good cannibalism is for your social bonds. But like, maybe that leads to him being thrown out of his family and not trusted because of his sins, OR maybe it leads to him murdering his way through a federation complex, facing down a bloody cucurucho, and going "you made me into you and I hate this" and eating him. Narrative consequences does not always mean punishment and a return to moral purity. Sometimes people just do bad things, and then repercussions happen, but they don't necessarily "see the error of their ways". The specific call for like— retribution and repentance as the consequences people are going for— for punishment— if a character has done something bad they don't "deserve" good things to happen to them and it's bad writing for that to happen— I just don't think that those are the stories the creators are necessarily interested in telling.

And secondly, what people are often asking for is character conflict— they want people to be socially excluded by characters they feel have been wronged, and learn the error of their ways that way until they apologize sufficiently. Phil is gonna hate BBH or Tubbo is going to hate Roier or something once they return from Purgatory. People want their cubitos to have beef with each other.

But the thing is, on a meta level, I don't doubt that the entire admin team and streaming team on QSMP is just screamingly aware that this fandom cannot be trusted with conflict. The election was just part of it, but I made it through the election, and Purgatory has been so much more unpleasant— and I am not just talking about twitter. This website, tumblr, has been full of people fighting each other for their teams. And I am not just saying "red team fans have been bad", because boy have I been staring in horrified awe at the takes that some red team people have been putting forward (what on EARTH do you mean BBH deserves to have his kid die, touch grass immediately), but if I step outside of red team circles, everyone is talking about how red team people are horrible hypocrites who win too much and only deserve to suffer (I saw this posting the day that blue had back to back wins, so it isn't even tied to how well red is doing). The quality of the discourse has been increasingly unpleasant, and this has been taking place in streamer's chats, on twitter, in discords, and here on tumblr.

Every QSMP streamer is increasingly aware that having conflict with another streamer is basically sending a wave of negativity their way, and setting off bombs in the fandom at the same time. And they're all friends with each other! Sometimes they decide that the story beat they're going for is worth it and just tell each other to stay off twitter, but like, you have got to be prepared that maybe they will just be friends again. And that might be weaker writing, for people to keep forgiving each other, but that is an unfortunate aspect of the technical aspects of this medium and this fandom. Maybe the creators would be more willing to have character conflict if they didn't know that that meant the person they were mad at in-game would get death threats on social media.

Like no fucking wonder Phil apologized for getting mad at Wil within the same stream and before Wil said sorry to him. This is why the French have given up on revolution arcs, you know it's why the women are all very careful to get along with people. All of those creators know the cost of making anyone into a villain, and I'm just saying maybe get prepared that we won't have inner-party conflict. Maybe they'll decide it's worth it for a fun story moment! Maybe they won't. Maybe don't get 100% married to the idea that the only good writing possible moving forward is for people to be thrown out of the community and then repent for their sins.

#qsmp #fandom meta #discourse #negativity #this is also just screamingly culturally christian of you but that lies beyond the scope of this post #cw cannibalism

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shut-up-danny-kun · 1 month

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I've read hundreds of Star Trek TOS fics by now and it never ceases to amuse me how many different ways there are to fuck up Spock's characterization...now hold on just a minute - this post has a more interesting point than “fanfic writers stupid”, I promise you.

Every time, it's a spin on the massacre wheel. It's kind of amazing. Will he be overly emotional to the point where he's not himself anymore? Will he be so cold it's unpleasant and kind of hard to understand how he's lived to this point? Will he be extremely horny for no good reason? Will he speak in a way that sounds complety wrong?

I chuckle and shake my head. Of course, I KNOW what Spock is like, and MY interpretation of him is the most perfect and correct one. Obviously. He's just a very nuanced character, formed by many people in an unconventional way, with traits that seem to contradict each other at first but ultimately form a rich and unique character that so many people fell in love with specifically because he's so complicated...

Or...is he?

Let's entertain the idea that there isn't one correct interpretation of Spock, that all of these messy bits of characterization are not part of a bigger picture, but...just what they are: a product of many people with starkly different visions, working on a show that refuses to properly develop its characters. What then? Well, then Spock is a Rorschach test. Each viewer connects the random dots in their own way, and ignores the ones they don't like.

Let's use an example: me! In my interpretation of Spock (the most correct one, of course) he is, first of all, gay and on the asexual spectrum, reserved, largely uninterested in casual flirting or sex. When he is interested in the aforementioned things, he tends to be quite ashamed of it.

Makes sense, right? I can show you plenty of evidence for why that could be true. However, in the beginning of the first bloody season, Uhura sings a song about how Spock is actually kind of a heartthrob who likes to drive women insane with how hot he is, and Spock smiles. He smiles at her, as if agreeing and being very amused by all this! This interaction goes against pretty much everything I think about Spock. So what do I do? I explain it away in the most bizzare fucking way possible. See, Uhura and Spock are friends (there is no evidence for this), and Uhura knows everything I've just told you about him (through telepathy I guess? Not like he'd ever tell her!) and she's just trolling him (why would she do that? That is NOTHING like Uhura!). I need to do some Olympics-level mental gymnastics here, the opposite of Occam's razor.

“But Danny,” I hear you say, “it's just the start of the show! They hadn't figured out his character yet!”

To which I say: you can say that about anything! You can blame it all on a bad writer for that episode, and ignore virtually any scene that doesn't jive with your headcanons. It's there, and I can't ignore it.

So...how am I different from the people that want Spock to be thar heartthrob Uhura is singing about? That evidence is as much a part of canon as my favorite lines. Well, I'm not any different, that's the thing. And all those writers I complained about also have a point.

It's kind of a nihilistic take, I know, but maybe the reason Spock is such a cultural icon is because he is...whatever you want him to be: just concrete enough to spur on your imagination, yet vague and contradictory enough to let your brain fill in the gaps.

Don't get me wrong: I absolutely do not believe in this. In my mind, it just so happens that I'm one of the, like, 5 people ever who truly understood Spock (and one of them is Jim Kirk himself). But I still think it's something worth thinking about next time you're mad at a fic.

#star trek tos #spirk #s'chn t'gai spock #spock #tos spock #character analysis #dannytypes #takes

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hestzhyen · 13 days

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Sunken Ships and SoRiku

Hi internet void. I went feral and maybe you'll read the result.

KH has made a lot of choices around SoRiku from a narrative perspective that, in isolation, wouldn't amount to much. A heart-to-heart here, a questionable line there, and so on. The usual things that one would do to court a queer shipping audience in an otherwise het or unromantic work. And SoRiku circles have painstakingly documented every instance to show something that looks more like a consistent and intentional effort rather than a few dollops here and there to keep shippers engaged. There's... a lot. But one stupid, insignificant thing really shook me up and made me a believer in SoRiku Endgame, Actually.

Silly as it is, it's Nomura's reaction to people shipping RikuNami that gets me the most.

Generally speaking a writer doesn't want to interact with fandom shipping unless it's to urgently course correct. As in it would be catastrophic to the narrative if the fandom had the wrong idea. Otherwise it's best to just take note of how people are interpreting things and adjust the next installment accordingly, or live and let live. Keep distant and don't risk accusations of retconning/bad writing/queerbaiting in bad faith. So the normal reaction from Nomura seeing people get excited over RikuNami would have been to just do nothing. But instead, the scene was patched to downplay the smile, and Nomura went on the record to clarify that it's not a setup for a romantic relationship between Riku and Namine.

That's insane.

Why is it so important that Riku remain romantically uninterested in a girl he'd have a natural connection to, huh? What about accidentally implying RikuNami was so detrimental to the story that it was changed and explicitly addressed like that? Even if it wasn't meant to be, surely letting it play out like AkuRoku did would be enough. Just gently clarify and move on with the story (which pretty much sunk the ship on it's own anyway). You don't wade into fandom shipping and launch nuclear warheads like Nomura did against RikuNami unless you want to leave no room for doubt.

Torpedoing RikuNami also doesn't help them keep up appearances in terms of straightness at this point. Leaving it intact would only help the case of Riku and Sora being bffs with the strongest bond 5ever- a huge boon for the writing team if they wanted to avoid things looking too gay. Nomura et. al. are absolutely aware of the impressions and jokes about how gay KH is. And KH definitely would not be the first series to play in to queer ship teasing for the lols until it's time to pair everyone up at the end.

But they did the one thing you're not supposed to do if you're just aiming to queerbait: undermining the plausible straight ship. You don't eliminate the only straight option for your character like that for the sake of "he so gay" jokes! Having a straight option available vital to make the bait; they don't have to be compelling or important to the story, they just have to exist. Yet at this point, Riku's only option is Sora. They went out of their way to ensure we wouldn't think anything else makes sense for him.

Holy. Shit.

#soriku #riku #kingdom hearts #Sorry RiKai shippers but I just don't see it #Also thinking about how Kairi was written out when she really didn't need to be #If all this was done to set up Riku with a new char we haven't met yet I will wear a clown suit for the rest of my life #But I really don't think that's the case after Riku's arc in DDD culminated in him realizing Sora is his most cherished person #He's already in love y'all now we just need to wait and see

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