#in my heart i know big would be non-op. but i also just wanted to draw top surgery scars big | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eustasskidagenda · 6 months

Text

Okay, this post is not based on a request. I kept thinking about it for hours and finally decided to write it down: how the OP characters would text their s/o. So here are some texting headcanons for some of my favorite characters: Eustass Kid, Zoro, Sanji, Law, Sabo. I'll probably write a part 2 with my other beloved characters: Luffy, Marco, Killer, and Robin. :D

☆Texting HCs for Kid, Law, Sanji, Zoro & Sabo

CW : g/n reader, MDNI, Kid is cursing, fluff, funny, partly nsfw, mention of alcohol for Zoro

WC : 2k

Kid

Your name/photo in his contacts: mine. With a photo of your ass, obviously. And when he's mad at you, he renames you mid(ge).

Such a brat.

His wallpaper: a cool photo of his motorbike (I'm sorry but Kid is that kind of man in love with his own bike/car. But it's okay, he's still my favorite.) Or, a pic of your ass.

What kind of pictures are in his gallery: your ass, random photos of your face when he’s teasing you, his bike, and some punk stuff (music, makeup, outfit etc.)

His fav emoji : none.

He likes to send really, really shorts messages. Like :

"Hi" "u know" "i have an idea" "So listen:"

Goddam Kid, just write the WHOLE sentence in one message.

He's sending you random pictures of his torso, just to flex with his big tiddies.

And you have to respond with a heart emoji and praise him each time.

If you want, he's more than willing to send dick pick too.

Again, you have to praise him. Even if the pictures are absolutely non-aesthetic. He's blessing you with his cock after all.

"Babe, you don't know how to take beautiful pics of your dick." "WTF SHUT UP???????? It's MY dick???!!! OF COURSE IT'S BEAUTIFUL??!!!"

Yeah, Kid is clearly using extra punctuation.

Oh, sure, each morning, you receive a mirror selfie of his outfit of the day. Such a punk fashion icon. "Rate my outfit on a scale of amazing to amazing"

He doesn't use emojis because they sound too soft and stupid. "em0teS aRe f0r s0fT b0ys Y/N"

If you complain about his messages looking cold, he might use random emotes to annoy you like "UgH iF U wAnt 🦬" (with that stupid dumb sponge bob meme)

Whenever he calls you, it seems like he's yelling through the phone.

He likes using caps lock like "HEY Y/N, WANNA FUCK TONIGHT??????"

He's sending you random punk/rock music. And you have to listen and react to every single music, otherwise he's so pissed off. He is sharing his world with you, the less you can do is interact with him.

He also loves sending some pics of what he's working on, because Kid likes to repare/custom some cars or motorbike.

And last thing, I like the idea of Kid Pirates being a punk music band, so sure, Kid loves to send you some videos of him playing guitar. "My fingers are skilled in three things : music, crafting and fingering you all the fucking day long"

His phone is so damaged because he throws it every time he gets angry (like every two minutes).

Law

Your name/photo in his contacts: y/n-ya. With a cursed picture of you. Just to tease you with it.

His wallpaper: nothing, just the random by default home screen. In his view, wallpapers are useless and pointless.

What kind of pictures are in his gallery: random pictures you took of him, emo memes, and boring stuff about medicine or basic hygiene rules for Luffy. And a guide to "how to stop screaming and how to control your anger: a guide for children" for Kid.

His favorite emoji: 🖕🏻

Whenever you annoy him with a stupid joke or a prank you saw on TikTok, his immediate reaction is to block you. He's so annoyed, please, leave him alone. He is immediately aware that it is a prank. Luffy always does the same to him before you do.

He's never using capital, it's for the emo aesthetic, like 'I hate bread'. Nope. But ✨"i hate bread."✨, yeah, much better

And yes, he uses "." everytime, it's for the dark and tired emo aesthetic.

He always leaves a group conversation as soon as you include him. Please, he's so pissed off by those kinds of things.

He's able to leave your message seen for days. Just because he was busy and forgot about what you said. If you need an answer, sure, try to call him. He always keeps his phone in silent mode.

He likes to send you cool articles that he reads. Especially about medicine, tattoos or nerd stuff like movies, books, games etc.

"wanna go to a date tattoo with me tomorrow?"

That kind of question is clearly his love language

He enjoys teasing you with random photos of his tattooed fingers or chest. "I bet you miss these fingers." And yeah, he's clearing curling his fingers on the pic like he would do when they are inside you. He's really good at teasing you with photos.

Kid and Luffy steal his phone whenever he's with them. So be ready to receive a lot of ugly pictures of Law (taken by the chaotic duo), middle fingers from Kid, and blurry meat pictures from Luffy.

Poor Law deserves a break.

Sanji

Your name/photos in his contacts : 💗💘🛐Mon Amour (my love)🛐💘💗 With the most beautiful picture of you.

His wallpaper : a cute couple photo.

What kind of pictures are in his gallery : a lot of cooking videos or photos, you, aesthetic pic of the sky and a private album with some hot nudes that you sent to him.

His favorites emojis : 💘💗💖🛐💍🧎🌺🌸🌹🫦🥰😘🧑🏻‍🍳🍽🍷🥘 (yeah, Sanji LOVES emojis)

He's always texting you back. If he can't reply within a second, he won't open the text. Sanji, leaving his beautiful s/o with that awful "seen"? Never.

All the mornings "good morning sweetheart 💘" and all the evenings "sleep well sweetheart, dream about me 💖"

He wants to take a cute and aesthetic pic of the both of you all the days.

He bombards you with pictures of his cooking. It's cute, but also annoying because he can't help but send extra long texts. He describes every single action he did, along with recipes and tips.

He enjoys seeing your outfit of the day. He can attempt to match his clothes to yours.

Random "I love you 💖" and "if no one told you you were pretty today : you're the prettiest 🥰"

He enjoys sending you cooking videos. "We should eat this tonight. What do you think? 🧑🏻‍🍳"

He's pretty good at sexting. He knows how to take aesthetic photo of his hands, back, or mouth. Not just an ugly dick pick (Kid, Zoro, I'm looking at you). And he also likes to leave you some message like.

I would sit you down on this table if you were with me right now. You know, the one in your kitchen where he had dinner with your parents yesterday? I would gently kiss your neck, fondle your chest, and slowly kneel between your legs until you shout my name. You would pull on my hair, begging me to keep going until you cum repeatedly on my face. 👅 "

And if you send him a nude, well, he's going to die from a nosebleed.

Rest in peace, Sanji.

Zoro

Your name/photos in his contacts : "y/n". You pick a picture for him because Zoro and phones are not compatible.

His wallpaper : a cool katana

What kind of pictures in his gallery : gym selfies, katanas and alcohol (all with ugly quality)

His fav emojis : 👍🏻 and 😴 Like:

"hey Zoro, you're alright" 👍🏻

"Zoro, wanna hang out?" 😴

"Babe, what are you doing?" 😴

"… am i annoying you?" 👍🏻

He can responds to absolutely anything with those two emojis.

Zero is so oblivious, so let's be honest: he is not good at using phones. Almost every day, he forgets his phone at home. And even if he didn't forget about it, it's probably on silent mode or just off.

He doesn’t know how to use the keyboard, so prepare yourself for coded-message like "o!. @= sp⛑t t🧹day???/!df🆎e !!"He can't even use the excuse "my cat walked on my keyboard", he just sucks with technology.

Your messages are often "seen ✔️" and that's all. Not because he wants to be mean, just... he didn't understand the concept of answering every text. He takes all of your messages as random information. Like "Hey, I'd love to see you tonight!". Well. OK. Message understood. That's all.

The only application he has on his phone is Google Maps. Even with it, he still gets lost. "Turn left." Without a doubt, he turns right.

Once, he tried to please you with a dick pic. But the photo was just terrible: bad luminosity, an ugly close-up of his cock, blurred as fuck, and you can see the dirty tissue behind him.

He doesn't answer when you call him because he's either asleep or at the gym (or drunk).

Once, he also tried to send you a voice message, but it was just the sound of the wind. He forgot to talk closer to the microphone.

Sabo

Your name/photos in his contacts : "my revolutionary 🎩💛". With a beautiful pic of your smiling face.

His wallpaper : a symbol of revolution.

What kind of pictures in his gallery : petition screenshots, his brothers, you, anti-capitalist memes and a private album with some hot pic of you (naughty Sabo)

His fav emojis : 🔥✨🖕🏻💛✊🏻😡😏😎🤩👉🏻👌🏻🫵🏻

Sabo is... complicate. Sometimes, he doesn't answer for WEEKS. And sometimes he's extra chatty. And when he's chatty well...

Sabo is always spamming you with petition links. "Save the dolphins", "save the monkeys", "fuck capitalism", "for the resignation of *insert random politician name*"

"Hey sweetheart, manifestation tomorrow. See you there!! 🫵🏻"

When it's not petitions, it's probably videos or articles. Sabo is a pure revolutionary. Be prepared to receive lengthy texts when he wants to fight for a cause. It's cute, honestly. He's really involved and passionate.

"You, me, on a trip tomorrow?! 😏"

Sabo has a knack for surprising you with trips, so prepare yourself. This man craves adventure and surprises. He wants you to join his crazy journey.

Sometimes, he's using proper grammar and punctuation, sometimes he's using a lot of !!!!!!!!??????? And caps lock. Especially when he's furious about something. He makes a lot of typo errors because he's always in a rush while typing.

Let's fught *figrt *fijkt *FUCK *LET'S FIGHT (and fuck)

He enjoys taking pictures of you unexpectedly because it makes you seem more natural.

"So… sweetheart… we have a new roommate" with a cute pic of a dog/frog/duck/snail/whatever. Sabo has a kind heart. If he sees a wounded or abandoned animal, he feels obliged to adopt it.

And regarding spicy texts…

Sabo is a kinky boy. So sure, he's thirsty when it comes to sexting/nudes. As a revolutionary, he is also very careful. He always asks you first before sending you nude or spicy texts. If you're willing, then prepare yourself.

A bunch of nudes. Since he's good with them, he won't display his dick in a weird and unattractive angle to you. He enjoys showing you his hands when he's wearing his gloves. Or a mirror photo of his back.

"I know you will scratch it when I'll fuck you tonight 😏"

You're not forced to send him nude or spicy texts back. He respects your boundaries without exception. And if you send him a photo anyway, he's also really nice. Always a comment like "your ass is soooooo good with this angle. I can't believe I'm that lucky 🥵" and if he wants to save a photo for his collection, he's always asking if it's okay with you.

"Sweetie, i have a new toy for you… 💛"

We all know what he's talking about. Naughty Sabo.

2K notes · View notes

w1ldthoughts · 8 months

Text

Bad Decisions

A/n: anon requested! Sorry it took me so long, hope it was worth the wait.

Warning: smut

You were a rule follower. Rules were good. They guide us and keep us in line and hopefully prevent us from making detrimental mistakes. And you didn’t want to deal with the consequences of making mistakes so you tried your best to let life take its course. You and Chris dated three years and were engaged for one before you got married. He worked for a private equity firm, had graduated at the top of his class and provided you with a life that most people could only dream of. And your work-from-home job provided you extra security because your mom had always warned you to have your own bank account so you weren’t solely relying on your husband, having money of your own. Chris was a great boyfriend when you met. He was fun and adventurous and kind, who shared all of your hopes and dreams for the future. It felt like you had met your perfect match. But then you got married and he got complacent. There were no more surprise date nights or trips to the Bahamas. Your nights were occupied by stuffy rich-guy dinners, impressing CEOs of various companies and rubbing elbows with trophy wives who hated their husbands. Over time, you eventually became one of them. It wasn’t that Chris was a bad man, he just loved his job more than he would ever love you. And after five years of essentially being ignored, you had hit an emotional wall.

Until you met him.

Chris had dragged you to the Chargers Invitational, a golf tournament that doubled as a fundraiser for the Chargers Impact Fund. Of course, his firm was a big donor and your husband would never miss an opportunity for a photo op and to parade you around like the trophy you’d become. It was humiliating. After shaking hands with countless players, other donors and random people whose names you couldn’t remember, you went inside for a moment of peace. You were nursing your second “Sex on the Beach” cocktail when he grabbed a seat next to you.

“I see you’ve found my hiding spot.” His voice was so soothing, like a warm hug.

It took everything in you not to look up from your drink. “How does the face of the franchise even manage to hide at team events? Don’t you have treaties to sign and babies to kiss?”

He laughed and placed his drink on the table. “You make me sound like European royalty, which I am very much not.” He holds a hand out for you to shake, a wide smile plastered on his face when you finally decide to meet his gaze. “I’m Justin by the way, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“I know who you are, golden boy,” you utter softly, your heart beating in your ears. “I’m y/n.”

From the first day, you felt it. That spark, that unspoken tension in the room that was obvious to both of you. But then you looked down at your left hand and were reminded of the commitment you made and you couldn’t do it. But of course the universe wanted to punish you anyway. Chris’ firm had partnered with the Chargers during the offseason which included a few appearances at Sofi stadium. Chris was in New York for a conference during one of these appearances and begged you to go. The donors were to be partnering with a player and collecting donations for a non-profit benefiting the Los Angeles inner city area. Of course, you were partnered up with Justin. He was clad in a black suit that fit him perfectly and the two of you made your rounds, collecting a total of $15,000 in donations by the end of the night. You were getting ready to order your Uber when Justin offered to take you home.

“Can we make a quick stop on the way?” You asked and he nodded, laughing to himself when you told him where you wanted to go.

The two of you sat in the parking lot of Dairy Queen, thoroughly enjoying your blizzards. “When I was in college, my parents used to get these for us all the time, this reminds me of home a little bit.”

“I’m a sucker for ice cream. Very much into the whole dessert before dinner thing. Also an advocate for dessert after dinner. It’s nice to have someone to share it with for a change.” You whisper sadly.

He looks at you with an equally dejected expression. “I don’t mean to pry but, do you and your husband not eat together?”

“Oh it’s fine.” You wave him off. “Um, we don’t do anything together. Not anymore. I am basically married to myself most of the time and he makes a cameo appearance when it’s a money making opportunity.” You laugh sadly, disappointed at how your life has gone.

“I don’t know, it’s like he only married me because it looks good to have a wife on your arm when it comes to talking to investors. Being a husband makes you look more trustworthy with people’s money in a sense.”

“That is…terrible.” He exclaims. “You should be with someone who makes you happy and cherishes every waking moment because they get to wake up next to you. And of course, someone to enjoy blizzards with.”

“You deserve more.”

When he said that, something in you broke. You reached over to cup his face in your hands and kissed him like you’ve never kissed anyone before. There was so much fire and desire in the kiss, until he pulled away.

“Y/n, I don’t know if we should do this. If we start, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop.”

“Then don’t.” You said simply.

He connected your lips again, his tongue gaining access to the inside of your mouth with a muffled moan as you smiled into the kiss. It had been so long since you’d been kissed this way that it sent shivers down every inch of your body. When he dropped you off at home, you couldn’t wait to do it again.

So you did…for the next three months.

You spent every waking moment you could together. You surprised him one weekend by renting out a place in Oregon when he went home. And you spent countless nights in his house watching movies and bonding with his cat. As much as you had prided yourself in following the rules before, you couldn’t help but feel the most alive you’d ever felt when you were with Justin. He was kind and dedicated to his job but when he was with you it wasn’t about football, it was about life and the endless possibilities of the world. A world that had gone gray for you during your marriage. A world that was now full of vibrant colors because you were definitely falling in love with the Chargers quarterback. You needed to have a talk with your husband when he came home from his latest work trip.

“Well…Chris just texted to let me know that he’s not coming home until Monday so, we have the place to ourselves for the next two days. What do you wanna do?” You beamed at him, wrapping your arms around his waist.

The look on his face didn’t match your excitement. “What are we doing here? I mean, I thought this was just going to be a short fling where we have a little fun and then pretend it never happened. But I don’t think I can do that anymore. I can’t do this anymore.”

Your face drops, “Justin what—what do you mean you can’t do this anymore?”

“I mean that I’m in love with a married woman and if I keep doing this I’m just going to end up looking like an idiot when you inevitably choose him over me. Not sure I can handle that.” He sighs, your foreheads touching before he takes a step back. “I should go, I’m so sor—”

“Justin, I love you.” You state honestly, stopping him in his tracks. “I love you, not Chris. And you’re right it’s not fair to you. I’m going to talk to him when he gets home and ask for a divorce. Someone reminded me that I deserve more. And I think I’ve found it. It’s you.”

The way he tipped your chin up to kiss you spoke louder than any words he could say. Both of his hands tenderly held your face, allowing the two of you to melt into the kiss as you grabbed onto his shirt to pull him in even closer. “I love you too,” he mumbled against your lips when you broke apart for a breath. He led you upstairs, taking his time with you, his fingers finding your sweet spot and talking you through your first orgasm. His movements were slow and meticulous, taking his time with you as he felt his own arousal increase by the second at your sounds of pleasure. You watched in anticipation as he rolled the condom on and made his way back to you in bed. Your arms were lazily placed around his neck as your stomachs were pressed against each other and his lips placed chaste kisses along your neck and shoulder. Allowing yourself to fully relax at the feeling of his pillowy lips, Justin lined himself up against your entrance and pushed in slowly, waves of ecstasy flooding the room. He maintained a steady rhythm with his thrusts, holding one of your hands against the bed while his other hand held your hips steady, your moans matching his strength for strength like you were perfectly made for each other. You squeezed his fingers in the hand that was firmly holding yours, eyes falling shut. It had been so long since you felt wanted, loved and cared for. This was the first time in a long time that you felt beautiful. And then he abruptly stopped.

“Are you okay? Should—should we stop?” He sounded breathless as he pulled out and you opened your eyes to see a slight glimmer on his skin.

“Yeah I’m fine,” you barely got out, “more than fine.” Justin ran his thumb under your eye to wipe a tear that you hadn’t even felt coming down your face. “This is just so much better than I could imagine and I guess it just got me emotional.” You let out a wet laugh and he joined in, wrapping his arms around you and holding you until you fell asleep.

You woke up to the sound of the front door opening and Chris walked up the stairs to find you and Justin in bed.

“I came home early to surprise you but I guess I’m the one who’s surprised.” He bit out.

Your life as a rule follower has definitely just become a lot more interesting.

#justin herbert #justin herbert imagine #justin herbert smut #nfl imagine #Justin Herbert x reader #Justin Herbert fanfic

122 notes · View notes

ronearoundblindly · 3 months

Note

Hi Ro! I have this idea eating a hole in my brain since it manifested. I feel like we see a lot of mafia! Steve and Bucky where the reader is one of their gf and the other is her bodyguard or something else of the sort (which I love) BUT…

Could you imagine a badass bodyguard reader? Like, she works to protect one of them and they don’t even sexualize her, but after seeing how well they work together and how dedicated and hard-working she is, they just hopelessly fall in love? Which launches mutual pining, but also both of them thinking it’s unrequited and her still just girlbossing away. Until some inciting inciting incident (TBD) which makes them super close to realize how they feel and then both of them needing a new bodyguard because now she’s the gf of a mafia boss.

I’d try and write it but I don’t have anywhere near as much talent as you and wouldn’t do it justice. Also, sorry if this adds to your 92747739 other WIPs

Alright. Full disclosure: I am not even remotely a fan of the mafia!fic, or mob!fic, or really any of the tropes that take a fundamental piece of a character out of the equation. To me, doing the right thing and using personal harm as a last resort are inextricable from Steve's personality--and is what we love about him.

[To be clear, I am not throwing shade on y'alls writing or reading preferences! Just telling you my take on it. You do you 😘]

His character lends itself to being a CEO, like in the It Had To Be You series, a military commander, or even president.

In that regard, I wonder if it would fall into the same vein of story to have Steve be running for some sort of 'office' but in a kind of dystopian country as the non-corrupt candidate who is in danger due to political/military pressures between opponents?

Say...maybe John Walker could be the smooth-talking but selfish alt runner? Bucky and Steve and Walker used to serve in the armed forces under an equally corrupt dictator figure...say, Ross, perhaps? Then Steve broke away--like the Nomad persona--until he emerged to run against Walker with a faction of the military's support.

So you're hired as part of Bucky's security team first, but since Bucky is with Steve so much, you're very recognizable to Steve. There could be a minor attack at a public event where you throw yourself in front of Bucky (who threw himself in front of Steve), and the real surprise to them is that you want to return without hesitation once recovered.

After a completely professional, stone-faced few months, Steve wins the election.

The night's celebrations go on till the wee hours; you keep a keen eye on your charges even though it's the first time either has seen you in a formal gown instead of a plain suit. When the results are actually announced on the TV, Steve is struck by seeing you smile and get emotional for the first time. It warms his heart to see you proud of him. It's a relief to know you don't just stick around as an employee. You actually believe in him and what he's doing.

fucking swoon

I'm not sure whether I'd write this as Stucky x reader or Steve with reader and Bucky as a friend, honestly, but I feel like after Steve (and maybe Bucky) turn in at their hotel room after all that partying, you're the guard at the door.

Steve debates inviting you inside because he's so curious to know more about you personally.

He opens the door, but you're not there. Sam Wilson is. He took over the shift so you could get out of your heels.

Steve makes up some shitty excuse to need your room number, fusses over going to talk to you alone, maybe says Bucky will come with him as protection instead (since at very least Buck is sus of Steve's interest).

You answer the door sans jewelry and shoes but with the dress still on. He can come in if he helps with the zipper and buttons down the back. For such big hands, his fingers are nimble as they work the delicate fastenings.

ope, swooned again

And then...ya know...this is all very tempting since the night has been charged with adrenaline and hope, so...yeah...

Steve goes in for a kiss and more.

🥴

Idk. Probably. Something like that. Is that close enough to mob/mafia? Not my wheelhouse so this is likely the best I can do...

Can y'all help me? You want stucky or just stevie?? Promise that the politics is more of a background thing, but it's the only scenario I could work with in their canon dynamic/personalities.

#ro answers #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine

23 notes · View notes

lastoreadoras · 9 months

Text

Looking for people to interact with

I've been much more outgoing lately, I'm not sure why! Despite this, I am still very bad at picking and choosing people to reach out to and message, so, to save time for everyone involved, I've made this post.

This post is asking for people to message me that also describes what exactly I want from our interactions! You will have to message me, though if you're feeling too shy to reach out in our DMs, sending a non-anonymous ask or directly replying to this post letting me know that you'd like a DM is a good way to get my attention and potentially receive a DM from me. See also: making my notifications blow up with a sequence of chained likes and/or reblogs on my posts.

Reblogging and especially liking this post specifically will not do much for putting you on my radar, because it's very easy to just like or reblog a post and doesn't take much effort, as opposed to messaging me or doing any of the things described above. If you're interested in connecting with me, please read this whole post (or at least look at the TL;DR) before reaching out to me!

Thank you in advance.

I am ace and I love meeting new people

To begin, I do NOT want a relationship in which there is only hypnosis and only kinky things. I am asexual, and while I am romantically attracted to basically every gender, I do not want to be horny 24/7. If you're looking for a committed (or gods forbid temporary) dominant/submissive or hypnotist/subject relationship, specifically only a dedicated sexual/kinky relationship, this post does not include you.

I am very affectionate

I love people! I love people so much and am always looking to make more partners and friends. There is a good chance that I will flirt at least a little, and will generally try to be very positive and overtly friendly in our interactions.

We'll still do hypnosis stuff

This does not mean I will not want hypnosis to be a part of our relationship- hypnosis is a very big part of my life, and is the root of how I've made most of my friends and especially my partners. I will eventually want hypnosis to happen between us (whoever the hypnotist shall be) and at the very least will want to be able to discuss the topic freely without judgement.

Video games good

I won't sugarcoat this next point- I am a gamer, I play on PC, use Steam, and heavily enjoy a wide variety of games. Specifics can be gleaned by questioning me, but I tend to lean toward roguelikes and co-op multiplayer games, be they designed specifically for co-op or simply offer the ability to play cooperatively with your friends. PvP games can be fun, but I definitely lean towards PvE titles.

Inherent bias

I adore women. Trans women particularly have a special place in my heart. This does not mean I will dislike anyone who isn't a woman or trans, but if you are feminine and/or transgender you will automatically gain some of my trust without having to do anything.

To clarify: video games

Over the course of our interactions, I will want to play video games with you, and I will want to hypnotize you or be hypnotized by you. That much is clear. If you don't play video games, that's okay, but as we are unlikely to live near one another, our options for doing things may possibly be limited. I will say, however, I may want to read something with/to you or watch anime/tv shows/movies with you. Simply sharing space and receiving attention can be enough, but I'm not very good at filling empty conversations with words as my social skills are somewhat limited.

Friend Zone

If you're already partnered up or don't wish to get involved romantically, I'm perfectly fine being your friend! I will still want hypnosis to be involved, but hanging out with friends is something I simply don't do enough and would be open to doing much more.

I only have one body

I am not always available 24/7 and am sometimes too busy to reply to messages. This does not mean I don't want to talk to you- I will tell you if our relationship isn't working, and barring extreme circumstances, will attempt to make it work. I have a few friends and partners already and if this post garners enough attention, will likely have even more, which means that I will not be available all the time. If you expect me to be 100% available every moment for you, this is probably not the relationship for you.

Allow me to summarize and recount the major points. (TL;DR)

We will not have being horny or sexual as the focus of our relationship.

I may be an introvert but I am liable to flirt with you and try to pry attention and affection out of you whenever possible.

We will discuss / engage in hypnosis (I know it's antithetical to the first bullet but it's necessary)

We will probably play video games. (on pc) If not, we will want to find an alternative.

I love women/feminine types, though if you're not a woman, that's perfectly acceptable, and I will appreciate your attention all the same.

It's okay if we're just friends! There's no pressure to become one of my partners, even if it is always an option.

We will not be spending every second of every day together, as I have existing friends and multiple partners to divide my attention. I will still try to answer your messages when I'm busy, but there are no guarantees.

Thank you!

Regardless if you read the whole thing or not, I hope you are well informed enough to make the decision of whether or not you want to reach out to me about this. It's worth noting that even if we're already acquainted in some way, this post is still an invitation for you to reach out!

Cheers! <3

#rambles

32 notes · View notes

kyros-tha-soldier · 11 months

Text

🏵️OP fathers day list🏵️

Hewwo, looks like I'm a bit late but happy father's day for all the dad's out there who love their kids (deadbeats Btfo we don't want you ugh) and a happy father's day for the actual one piece dilfs as well!

today i wanted to make a list for my beloved one piece papis!

Okay, let's go!

🦩 Doflamingo

i know, i know some of you are saying "ummm, who?" Yes, i agree, I'm a little biased on doffy, but hear me out. Doffy is a good dad, how? Why? The fact that he recruited kids is a bad thing, at least for irl standards, but he still cared for them, he knows that sugar is older than she looks yet he cares for her by assigning Trebol to protect her, also when he was making a toast, he gave Law, Baby 5 and Buffalo juice instead of wine. Now that's a good papi

🏰 Capone Bege

The Chad, the goat, the big father and the greatest mafioso daddy in this list, while Capone seems like a terrifying bloodthirsty gangster, he's an amazing husband and an even better father, always there for his kid, playing with him, entertaining him, and loving his wife, a real family guy!

🌊 Neptune

Cry-hoshi's (and her three brothers') father is also included in our list, yep yep! i figured that he needed to be recognized as a father more. What i liked about Neptune is that i liked how he's still loyal to his wife, but i kinda don't like how he sometimes looks weak willed, either way we Stan a mer-daddy!

🍊 Genzo

Most new OP fans may not remember him, but he's one of the Bravest civilians in one piece. He was there when Belle-mère and her daughters were attacked by Arlong and tried to defend them, making him get heavily injured resulting in his iconic scar and somewhat acted like a father figure for Nami when Belle-mère was gone (whomstdve make fun of him, he's precious and btfl 😤) he's now living his best life while following all of Nami's news and achievements.

💊 Hiriluk

Dr Hiriluk, one of the earliest father figures in OP, i liked how he went from treating chopper as a random deer, to an apprentice, to straight up treating him like his son (I'd do that too he's just super duper kyuttttte!) Sure he had his shenanigans and moments where he looked bad, but he's an overall good father figure for chopper, seeing how good he was to him and how he was the one who made him decide to become a doctor.

🍘 Sengoku

"no way, Sengoku has no kids!" ahem, did you forget that he literally adopted Corazon? We don't see much about them interacting, but from what we've seen Sengoku loved Rocinante as if he was his own child, he cared for him and would call him every now and then, and cried real hard when he died and at the end of Dressrosa when he was talking to law it felt like he held him real dear to his heart. Rocinante may have been a marine to the other admirals, but to him, he was his son.

🍳 Zeff

move over Judge, Sanji's real father is here!

He sacrificed his leg for Sanji, LITERALLY, just so the little boy won't die of hunger. And even after that, he ditched piracy and took him under his wing to teach him how to cook and be a real gentleman, he might've been harsh a little, but his heart is in the right place!

🍢 Oden

The true definition of the muscle brain trope, Oden is HUGE, kinda dum dum, he likes to goof around, extremely strong but has a soft spot for his family. He's a perfect family guy to his wife and kids, and despite all, he decided to put his family, disciples and friends at his top priorities, and that's why we totally Stan!

🏜️ Cobra

One of the OP characters that i didn't expect to be SO BRAVE for a non-fighting character. I like how he greatly cared for his daughter, but what i didn't like is how pervy he acts at times (bath scene) but other than that, he's such a beloved father, especially whenever he looked out for his daughter (along with Igaram), such a goof.

🐾 Kuma

We still don't know much about Kuma's past and his relationship with Bonney, why he chose to become a cyborg, why he's climbing the redline...etc etc. But from what Oda has shown us, Bonney loved him so much that she was willing to protect a pacifista since it reminded her of him, and ofc that speaks volumes about him.

🖤 Corazon

Ahhhhh, i remember how hard i cried during law's flashback when it first dropped in the manga, Corazon treated like as if he was his own son, he looked like an insane man at first when he kicked and beat buffalo and baby 5 (which i dunno, was uncalled for) but he's a really good father figure. He did all he could to save law, keep him entertained, made him food (they were grilling sweet potatoes in that one manga cover) and gave him all the love he needed. That is one hell of a reason for law to seek revenge against doffy!

🐋Whitebeard

Yep yep, Oyaji is here, i really like Whitebeard for how he would literally take any fatherless child (be them actually fatherless or just mentally) and make them his child. He's a VERY forgiving father as well, even when he got attacked by one of his sons, he just didn't hold it against him and forgave him. GOOOOOOOD that was sad af i cried!

🌻 Kyros

Once someone asks who's the best OP father the first person that comes to mind is Kyros. Trapped inside a toy's body, forgotten by everyone, if he tells his daughter who he is he will be thrown into the scrape heap, he had to organize a revolution. bro never took a break and ALL of this while taking care of his daughter! If this isn't one of OPs peak dad material then i dunno what he is!

And there you have it! The best OP dad's in my book!

Future dads? Take notes please!

22 notes · View notes

wickedmoonlite · 9 months

Text

KinnPorsche Rewatch 2023

Reminder: as we go into heavier topics in KP (dub-con/non-con, toxic behaviors, etc.), I will not be doing deep dives. I’m planning on taking this just below surface value as these are literally thoughts I have in the moment as I’m watching. Thank you.

Episode 10 Random Thoughts

So much in this episode relating to trust. It's gonna be good. But also bad. I enjoy this one.

Ah, Porsche... I know you want to get to the bottom of all this, but I don't know if trusting Vegas is the way to do it lol

I do like how, fairly consistently, the actors keep their fingers off the trigger of their guns. That's the way you're supposed to do it, put it up above, flat against the gun itself. Thank you, actors.

Hmm... KimChay cuddle scene. I have many thoughts about this one... First off, I love that Kim went from "lemme kiss Chay on the cheek, but that's it" to full on cuddling. This man doesn't know how to emote properly, or let himself have emotions about things sometimes. He has problems with intimacy and relationships (platonic, romantic, familial, what have you) as we see in this scene when he breaks Chay's heart (and mine, fuck) by saying "I'm hungry" after Chay has bared his soul to the guy and asked for love in return (Which don't get me wrong, it's sooo fast for Chay to be saying the L-word [-lesbian? -no, scott. -lesbianS?] but he's used to people leaving him, or not being able to stick around so like... he wants Kim to stick around. Plus he's a teenager still. Things are fleeting when you're a teenager. I fucking get it.)

Continuing on a bit of a tangent from the point above: the micro-expressions that Jeff conveys here looks like a mixture of oh god what have I gotten myself into and this boy is breaking my heart I actually like him so much but I hate that I like him. And the look he gives Chay when he asks "Do you love me?" ... I can see behind those eyes he's screaming yeeeees, I fucking do, but I can't bring myself to say it. jUST CONFRONT YOUR EMOTIONS, KIM, YOU DUMBASS, I SWEAR TO GOD.

How was he planning on just secretly leaving though?? There's like one way out of the house, and it's the way Chay just went, bro.

Kim to the rescue is my favoriiiiiiiiiiiiiiite the kick is so good, the fighting is so good, ughhhh.

The fact that this man takes two stun gun hits before he goes down is so impressive though.

I don't like Tawan reaching in over Arm to get to the computer.

Secret Pete goes in secretly this time.

Yeah, but Vegas, you aren't innocent. aND YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHERE PORCHAY IS. Fuck.

I think anyone would be hurting after that fight, honestly. And I actually really like how Kim calls Kinn first to get answers.

Ope, found the kinky room. But that's the room you need, Pete.

Wow. What everyone around Kinn was saying would happen, happened. What an unexpected conclusion to the Tawan in the mafia house saga.

"You think I'm here alone?" He says to the person who was a lackey for the person who set this all up, which is the person you brought with you. Confused? You won't be after today's episode *SOAP theme song*

And the mole has been revealed. Ah, Ken. We liked you a decent amount.

"But this wasn't the fucking plan." What was the plan though?????

Oh Tawan, poor, silly Tawan. Vegas doesn't want you. This is part of the reason I do actually feel bad for him in a way. He was used so viciously by Vegas. Then gets shot in return.... Again.

Kim and Big to the rescue ❤💔

Oh Big, we appreciate you and will miss you.

A 30 second timer? So Short.

And Kinn smokes now, when Porsche said he was going to quit and everything. I don't blame any of these guys, this shit is stressful.

Chay is so rightfully upset at Porsche for putting him in danger. Porsche was trying so hard to keep Chay in the dark, but it caught up to him anyway. Just let him have space, he's allowed to be pissed the fuck off.

Well yeah, but Vegas is going to a secret house soon. With our favorite smiley guy in tow.

I don't think I'd enjoy having my bits electrocuted, either. But Pete looks so ready to face it head on. He said, fuck it, I shall smile anyway.

Bye, Ken.

Tankhun speaking the truth that Gun so desperately wants to keep hidden. I think Korn saw through that, just like his oldest son. Once again, best instincts of all the brothers.

"If you think that the minor family is the traitors you can take my life." Oh Gun, playing with fire, you are.

Porsche deserves all the apologies, Kinn.

Episode 11 next! Thank you for reading!

And here I said I wasn't going to deep dive... I won't deep dive to the bottom of the ocean, but the deep end of a pool is another story I suppose lmao.

I'm talking about myself. I lied to myself.

#kprewatch2023 #kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #I told you KimChay was my favorite #I have so many feels about them

8 notes · View notes

terrestrialnoob · 2 years

Text

Danny Phantom but make it a 5 Man Band

Purely literary theory, but if one was to remake Danny Phantom with a new, more character and plot driven story and less one-off comedy episodes with little to no character development carried on between episodes, this is the 5-Mand Band of Team Phantom that I, personally, would like to see.

Leader: Danny.

Not even by default or because his name is the show’s name, Danny has the abilities and knowledge to lead, even had a whole episode about being a leader. He knows what he’s doing and knows his teams abilities and weaknesses. He knows he can count on Sam and Tucker to help, but also knows their limits as normal, non-superpowered humans with stolen technology and limited physical training.

Lancer: Sam.

She is at constant odds with Danny and tries to direct the team the way she wants. She complements his personality, sharing his desire to help others but turned up to eleven. She pushes him to do better and be a better person, but needs to be put in her place sometimes because they’re Danny’s powers not hers so he needs to be the one to choose how to use them.

Smart Guy: Tucker

Obviously, technologically smart and acts as support for Danny, not much else to say, he’s sweet and simple.

Big Guy: Valerie

She is canonically the most powerful and competent ghost hunter in the world, if she’s not the hardest hitter on the team it’s only because Danny’s OP.

Heart: Jazz

Now, one might try to argue that Sam should be the heart because it was originally called “The Girl” and she’s “The Girl” in canon. However, if the team had been allowed to expand in canon, Jazz would have been the moral center. It’s her life goal to be the most helpful person she can be and treat people seen “evil” with nuance and respect; she want’s to help villains and criminals reform and become better people. Sam sees the world in black and white, good guys and bad guys, but Jazz has a better more nuanced morality that makes her a better fit for the role of The Heart.

Danny, Sam, and Tucker are the core trio, the primary friends for good banter and a stable starting point. Then with Valerie and Jazz joining the team later in the story to make up for their deficiencies: 1) Danny needs someone physically strong enough to help take on the bigger baddies, and 2) the whole team needs someone to guide them away from black-and-white morality.

While I do accept that any of the three ladies could possible work in any of each others roles (you could even toss a Dani in any of those slots and I'd accept it), this is just my personal preference.

#danny phantom #rewrite prompt #analysis #character analysis #five man band au #trope #danny fenton #sam manson #tucker foley #valerie grey #jazz fenton #danny phantom au

53 notes · View notes

mmollymercury · 1 year

Note

I'm coming here to bother😇😇

How are you?

Do you have any artwork you think is underrated?

(So we can reblog)

AHHHGGG THATS SO SWEET😭‼️‼️‼️💖💖💖

Sorry it took me long to answer this! Life has been kinda busy lately. I've been preparing for uni and I'm in the process of applying to some now.

I'm doing pretty good today💕 one thing I'm glad to be relieved of is worrying abt getting encanto big bang stuff done. Thankfully the date was extended, yay!!! I'm really grateful because I want my work to be the best it can be x I'm so excited to see everyone else's finished pieces💗

The artwork question is such good idea!! So cute!!😭😭😭

Here's some art accounts I think all of you should check out! They're are primarily encanto fanart lolll... but check out the og blogs and look at their other stuff too x

With this list I'm trying to add ppl that I don't see talked abt that much, but really deserve the opposite💖

Let's get self promo out of the way first: here's some of my original character work, if you're interested: 💗 💕 💖 (I'm gonna be making a new pinned post soon, thats gonna catologe all my original work and fanart stuff, because I know original stuff gets lost in all the fan work.)

✨My OCs~~The Yvette-Verse✨

Yvette-Verse character lineup🌤

Yvette comic💫

My bestie isn't really active on tumblr, but you should all definitely check her out. She's got more stuff on her insta too:

Her tumblr▪︎@valentineee

Her insta▪︎Main- TrappedintheMorgue

Side- LazySlug

AS OF RN ALL THE ART HERE HAS UNDER 100 NOTES. PLS SHOW THEM LOVE, THEY DESERVE IT💗💗💗

YOU @lilrobinbird

Post link💕

It is insane that you don't have more eyes on you IT IS ACTUALLY CRIMINAL😤😤😤. your style is so intricate and painterly, it reminds me of old master's paintings. The way you draw features is so unique and cute, its so cool💕💖

@emi-g

Post link🐀

Look at this. The story, the detail, THE RATTIES

Their art is legitimately so gorgeous, sometimes, I can't believe it's traditional!

@azucareraart

Post link💫

Just... look at this art style, it literally always takes my breath away ITS BEAUTIFUL. So expressive and unique, I love it sm. They also have an encanto fanfiction too, it's set a few years in the future and is Mirabel x oc, I would never usually look for those stories on my own, since I'm not really into non canonical ships, but the art they made for it intrigued me and although I haven't read it in a while, from what I did read it was amazing. Really well written and descriptive!

@tortillafish

Post link🐁

Gender bent Bruno has my whole heart!! SHES SO KIN WORTHYYY😭 plus their style is so expressive and BEAUTIFUL💞💞💞

@kafeino (they don't want their art to be reposted, so I decided to just add the links x)

Antonio and his birdie😇 ▪︎ Camilo looking like a menace😈

They have a few encanto fanarts, all of them are so good and colourful! Like, look at the way they draw hands.... omg. But these ones are SEVERELY UNDERRATED. As of rn I think the Camilo one has 72 notes and the Antonio one has 47?? THATS AN INJUSTICE WTFFF????

@rats0ut

Post link🕯🕯

Post link🐉 this has 19 notes are you HAVING ME ON!!???

ALMA LORE!!! PLUS ANTONIO WITH ELDRITCH HORROR BEAST AND HES SO NONCHALANT ABT IT??? YESSSSSSSS. I really love their simple yet effective art style, it really inspires me to experiment with my style a bit 🥰🥰🥰

@fruit-goose (they don't want their art to be reposted, so I decided to just add the links x)

Queen Isabela🌸

This style... the colouring... the lines... no words, how does this only have 70 notes?!??😤😤😤😤😤😤😤

@camilleisdrawing

Post link💋👂

HOW THE HELL DOES THIS ONLY HAVE 20 NOTES???!!! WTFFF

The colours, the proportions, the expression, HER, I literally love it so much it makes my eyes happy. Op's style is so cool, I literally love it so much, so inspiring, makes me want to paint and experiment 🤩🤩💗💗💗

@summersofsalt (they don't want their art to be reposted, so I decided to just add the links x)

Pepa being badass🌩⛈

This style is just so cute, yet it can convey such strong, angry emotion. The colours and movement, PEPA’S EYES, it reminds me for some reason of lino printing. It's so cool!!

I really wish I could add more! This community is so talented and amazing💞 so feel free to add onto this post and @ some of your severely underrated faves💕💕

#encanto #encanto fanart #art appreciation #bruno madrigal #pepa madrigal #dolores madrigal #félix madrigal #isabela madrigal #antonio madrigal #family madrigal #underrated #ask game #fanart #💖💖💖💖

36 notes · View notes

indigosunsetao3 · 4 months

Text

Keeping Lines Blurry

Chapter 2 - All For Show

Masterlist of Chapters

Warnings: 18+ - No minors Please read the tags on A03 for any of your triggers. However, this has brief non-con didn't want to risk anyone reading that with proper warning.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick X Original FMC 7k words - AO3 Link

The debriefing had taken hours. They had met up with all the countries special ops teams, security that was actual security, not militant operatives, and the local law enforcement. The politicians were all whisked away to their respective safe places. Many of them moving up their flights early to get out of the country all together or waiting for further instructions form their own government. The rest of the people attending the gala who weren’t as important, but no less rich, were also all rounded up and sent to safety. There was a team going through the guest list to figure out who had made it out and who was buried under the rubble of the now half exploded building. The death toll was steadily rising as the hours ticked by and less and less survivors were checking in.

Gaz had opted to not take credit for his role in the destruction of the building just yet when they all met to talk. He knew it would come out eventually, and he wasn’t exactly hiding it, but he wanted guidance on how exactly to give the truth. Tensions were so high between everyone and suspicious looks being passed around everywhere the last thing he wanted to do was add a target on his, and his team’s, back. They had talked and worked until the sun was up in the sky and Price finally called an end to the meeting on their side when it turned into talking in circles.

“Laswell is going to need a full report,” Price said from the passenger seat as Gaz shifted the car into drive and pulled out of the American embassy building. They had opted to just use the American’s spot because it was closer to the scene and big enough to house everyone. “You give her everything. I know you didn’t want to tell everyone about your theatrics,” Price added as he cut his eyes over at Gaz still not happy about his outright circumvention of his orders, even if he was secretly pleased by his accomplishment.

“Of course, Sir. I know she would be mad if I left out the good stuff,” he smirked as he slipped into traffic. The streets were starting to fill up with morning commuters and Gaz could see the news vans still swarming around the perimeter of the building where everything had happened. It was right in the heart of the city so it was hard to completely block out the shell of the structure but the police were doing their best to keep everyone back.

“What’s the plan?” Alex asked from the seat behind Gaz as he rubbed his hand over his hair, yawning hugely into the tattered lapel of the suit jacket he was still wearing.

“We go back to the house and get some sleep,” Price answered, “then we wait. The undersecretary decided he and his team is staying. He wants to continue to try and build relations so I’m sure we will be stationed here as well.”

“We’re going to babysit?” Ghost asked from the very back seat that he had taken as soon as he slid open the car door, sprawling out purposely so Soap and Alex had to share the middle row. “He has security for that,” he muttered. Gaz secretly agreed, the last thing he wanted was to be around Olivia and Henry again, but he wasn’t going to push Price too hard since he knew he was on thin ice.

“Incase you missed it,” Soap chimed in, “his security team was shit. My mother could have done a better job and she’s piss drunk every day by noon.” He unclipped his gun holster and sighed at the release of the constriction around his chest before settling down further into seat. “I hope they know my rates are high.”

“My sister is going to be pissed if I miss the next England game,” Gaz muttered as he circled the roundabout. “She’s been trying to get me to go with her for a while now that England is actually putting up a fight. Her husband isn’t interested in the game so I’m the only person she goes with.” He drummed his fingers on the wheel waiting for the light. “How long has it been since you’ve been to a Chelsea game?” Gaz asked Price who was busy typing into his phone. He didn’t want the car to get silent, he had been avoiding his thoughts for this long he was hoping he could just get back to the room and pass out before everything caught up with him. He needed a sound sleep before he started sorting through all the shit seeing Olivia had dragged up again.

“Too long,” Price answered as he slipped the phone back into his pocket. “I don’t know why I bother with season tickets anymore. I never get to go but,” he sighed, “it’s painful to give up the seats, right on center line. Bought ‘em when they had a few piss-poor years so they were cheap.”

“I wouldn’t go either,” Alex answered, “boring game.” He smirked knowing he was about to get reamed by four men who followed the sport obsessively, Gaz and Price being the most passionate. “Rugby is at least interesting.”

“Bloody American,” Soap answered with his eyes closed, “always looking for violence.” He was smirking though as he leaned his head against the window.

“As long as you don’t say American football I won’t kick you out,” Gaz replied as they finally pulled up to the place they had been staying at. It was a flat above a long-abandoned shop on a dead-end street which meant not a lot of activity around them which was a nice bonus. The downside was it was small and cramped and the team were spread out on cots, couches and the one small bed in the bedroom. “Home sweet home,” he muttered as he put the car into park and threw open the door.

“Hit the shower,” Price said to Gaz, giving him a once over at the dust and blood on his jacket, before he unlocked the door and disappeared up the stairs to the flat. “Then everyone needs to get some rest. Who knows where they are going to send us next,” he finished as they all walked in and dumped their gear in a pile near the door.

“I’ll be quick,” Gaz said as he looked over at Alex who was almost just as dirty and dusty as he was. Alex merely waved him off as he collapsed heavily onto the couch he had claimed as his sleeping spot when they arrived a few days ago. Gaz was on a cot near Soap in what they assumed was the dining room and Ghost had taken the other couch while Price got the bed. Perks of being the Captain though Gaz had seen how lumpy it was he wasn’t sure if it was actually more comfortable than a cot.

The shower groaned as Gaz turned it on as hot as it could go, the pipes rattling and the water barely spitting out the shaking showerhead. He stripped off the dirty clothes and threw them into his duffle, deciding to sort through it later and toss what was too trashed to keep. The water was only lukewarm despite being turned all the way to the left and Gaz hustled to clean off, using the hotel sized soaps that had been provided for them.

“All yours,” Gaz stated as he walked out in lounge pants and a baggy shirt a few minutes later. His used towel was draped over his shoulder and duffle full of clothes was clasped in his left hand. Alex had his head resting on the back of the couch and he cracked open an eye at Gaz’s words, looking like he had been dozing off. “I tried to save the hot water but there wasn’t much to begin with,” he said apologetically before heading to his own sleep area.

The sun was out in full force and Gaz reached up to draw down the blinds and pull the faded yellow curtains to try and block out the light. Soap was propped on his cot on the wall across from him with his sketch book pulled out, working on one of his latest drawings as he sipped something amber out of a glass. Gaz had seen a few of the ones Soap had willingly shared but for the most part Soap kept his drawings to himself unless they were work related.

“It’s barely nine in the morning,” Gaz stated with an eyebrow raise at the small glass. He spotted the bottle of Scoth on the floor near the other man’s feet. There was a second glass sitting next to the bottle with an ice cube that had started melting a bit and Soap nudged it with his foot toward Gaz.

“Aye, but we’ve been up since yesterday so really it’s just a nightcap,” he reasoned as he nodded his head toward the glass and bottle for Gaz to take it. “I figured you could use it after the shit you dealt with today,” he continued before looking back down at his notebook. He wasn’t going to pry Gaz to talk about it if he didn’t want to but he’d open the door for him to bring it up.

“You aren’t wrong about either of those things,” Gaz answered before he sat heavily on his cot and leaned over to grab the bottle and glass. Pouring a few fingers he swirled the glass a bit before raising it and taking a sip. “Shit,” he muttered under his breath as the burn hit him and he avoided making a face before taking another longer sip. “You know what the worst part is? I recognized Henry but I couldn’t place him. He’s aged since the last time I saw him,“ Gaz started shaking his head a bit as he added more liquor back into his glass before leaning back against the wall behind his cot.

“That’s what happens when you marry someone old enough to be your father. They get older faster. Too bad he didn’t have a heart attack in the chaos,” Soap stated, his voice not hiding the disgusted tone as he kept his eyes on his notebook. It wasn’t so much of the age difference that bothered him, it was the fact what Olivia had done to Gaz and how she did it that was the problem. Henry was the guy she swore was just a family friend and Gaz would never have to worry about despite Gaz being suspicious of the man’s attentions. Then when Gaz found out that’s who Olivia left him for it made the heartbreak and anger ten times worse. “You think he remembered you?”

“No,” Gaz answered as he held the glass with both hands between his legs. “He was trying to find a picture to show me of her. He also called her Liv. If he knew it was me, he would have told me it was Olivia. Then probably would have said he didn’t want me going anywhere near her,” Gaz laughed a bit before sipping again. “I’m sure he knows now, Olivia was never good at secrets…well except for one.” He shook his head lightly against the wall. The secret she kept from him, the one that blew his whole life up and wrecked him, was the only thing she was good at keeping to herself.

“Hopefully we aren’t going to be playing babysitters and we can go home, or do something more interesting such as hunting down the fuckers that did this,” Soap finished as he tucked his pencil into the center of his notebook and shut it, wrapping the elastic band around it to keep it closed. “I don’t see why the undersecretary is trying to make friends when they just very publicly tried to murder him and all his friends.” He tossed the book on top of his duffle before moving to lay down, hitting the pillow a few times before laying back and throwing his forearm over his eyes.

“Politics,” Gaz answered before draining his glass and leaning forward to put it down on the floor. “Almost makes me glad I signed up to get shot at. At least I know who my enemies are, you never know with those assholes,” he smirked before looking at the open archway of the dining room. He could hear Price in the living area talking to Ghost who was already laying down on his couch with his sunglasses on to block the sun. He knew the captain was making the rounds to make sure they were actually going to rest, Gaz and Soap tended to run on coffee and nicotine if they were left to their own devices.

Following Soap’s lead he laid down on his own cot, shifting a few times as it squeaked under him before sighing. The sun was too bright for him to block it out so he stuck an arm underneath the cot and dug around for his ballcap underneath before slipping it on his head. He pulled the brim down until it touched his nose to dampen the sunlight. “We’re going to bed like good little boys,” he teased when he heard footsteps enter the dining room. He knew it was Price even if he hadn’t heard him talking to Ghost before. He knew what all of his teammates footsteps sounded like and Price’s footfalls were heavy even without boots.

“If you didn’t behave like little boys I wouldn’t have to check,” Price groused before turning heel and leaving again.

Soap laughed sleepily from his spot on the cot and Gaz merely smirked as he laid there waiting for sleep to take him. He was hoping the Scotch, which was still pleasantly warming his stomach, would speed it along before he got too wounded up in his own thoughts.

----------------------------

The car ride to the hotel was pretty much how Olivia expected it to be. When she emerged from the woods with Kyle she went straight to Henry who looked equally relieved and angry at the same time. He had grabbed her by the upper arms when she was close enough and she had winced at the touch but he didn’t relent the grasp even if he saw her face. He had looked her over for any signs of injury before dragging her into a crushing hug which Olivia halfheartedly returned. She was shaken up by everything that had happened but the shock of seeing Kyle after all these years and how he spoke to her rattled her the most. She deserved it, all of it, but it still hurt because even in their worst moments he had never been downright cold.

“Your dress,” Henry said a bit disappointedly as he climbed in the car behind her, his fingers reaching out to pluck at the tattered material by her knees. “That was a one-of-a-kind piece,” he mused as his fingers ran over the smooth silk that had dirt stains on it.

“I know,” Olivia said a bit tiredly as she reached down to pull her equally expensive heels off her feet and gasped at the cuts all over her skin. They were bloodied and she winced as she pulled a thorn out of the side of her left foot. “I’ll call the designer and apologize. I know they were hoping for some pictures for their portfolio. I had a few pictures taken when we walked in, maybe they can use them,” she finished as she looked around the car for a napkin or something to clean her feet. One of Henry’s aides reached out with a handkerchief and Olivia took it and gingerly wiped at her cuts, biting her lip to keep from yelping.

“See that you do,” Henry stated as he let go of the dress and gave her feet a dismissive look before digging in his pocket for his phone and Bluetooth. “We’ll see if we can find someone to tend to you when we get to the hotel.” His tone was cold as he started swiping through his phone and opened an email message. “This was a complete disaster, we didn’t even get to talk to the Chinese defense minister,” Henry continued to talk to no one in particular.

“Leah is dead,” Olivia stated after a moment, feeling the anger rising in her at Henry’s complete lack of concern. “I heard them kill her. Heard the screams and her fall to the floor gasping for breath before they shot her a few more times. I had to step around her body to get out of the bathroom. I was nearly shot and blown up and I had to run through the woods in fucking heels,” she seethed, throwing the heels to the floor for emphasis. “You know, incase you were wondering what I went through in there.”

Henry’s aides busied themselves with their own phones and phone calls, flinching at the tossed heels but otherwise showing no other indication they were paying attention. They were used to this by now. Used to listening to Henry and Olivia fight and snarl at one another once the cameras were off and the world wasn’t watching them. At first Olivia tried to keep their fights behind closed doors but the life they lead made it impossible. She couldn’t hold her tongue long enough for them to be fully alone anymore and it was just a matter of time before she accidentally lost it in front of witnesses that weren’t paid to be quiet.

“I told you to wait,” Henry said simply as he cut a sideways glance at her before going back to his phone. “Leah was tiresome anyway; you didn’t even like her,” he continued. “She was only hanging around to try and get you to set her up with one my colleagues or even them,” he pointed to the two young men sitting across from them in the car. “She was trying to climb the ladder, using you to get there.”

“What is wrong with you?” Olivia asked flatly. If this had been two years ago, she would have been shocked at his complete lack of empathy and boldness but this was nothing new anymore. The minute they were married she saw the real man he was, and he certainly wasn’t the man that lured her attentions away from Kyle. “She didn’t deserve to die because of that. And yes, didn’t like her all that much but I didn’t particularly want to step over her bullet riddled body.”

“People die every day,” Henry said before he clicked over to his text messages. He sighed as he felt Olivia staring at him with fury in her eyes and set his phone down in his lap, as if he were an exasperated father. “I sent someone to get you, didn’t I? I didn’t leave you there. I am sorry about Leah’s death if that’s what you want to hear but I am not sorry that it wasn’t you. Now stop acting like a child,” he finished before tapping the Bluetooth in his ear as a call came in.

Olivia opened her mouth to scream a respond but shut it as Henry started talking on the phone, his narrowed eyes daring her to say something. The fact he said he said he sent ‘someone’ meant he didn’t recognize it had been Kyle, or he was doing it to toy with her. With a huff Olivia threw herself back against the car seat and stared out the window as they drove down another back street, taking sharp corners and random u-turns. She didn’t have her phone to distract her, it had been in her purse which she lost somewhere in the bathroom in her haste to hide.

They arrived at the hotel without incident and Olivia sat sunk down in her seat for as long as possible before Henry reached in and snapped his fingers at her. Pasting on the face of the happy wife Olivia took his hand and crawled out of the back to see there were a few police officers standing guard. She held her heels in her hands and bit down on the inside of her cheek as she walked on her bare injured feet, not caring that Henry was clucking his tongue at her. He was always so worried about appearances though she figured the injured, but brave faced, wife being helped by her husband would be a better story anyway. She leaned on his arm a bit as they walked and he seemed to catch on, sliding his hand around her waist to take some of her weight as they crossed the threshold of the main doors.

“Thank you darling,” Olivia said lightly with a small smile as they walked onto the elevator where the attendant was waiting for them. Their room was on the top floor and she leaned into Henry a bit as the rest of his aides and others from their group piled in. Knowing this was her chance to get something she wanted she added, “do you think it would be possible to get a new phone? Mine is somewhere in the building. I’ll need to call my family; I am sure they’ll hear the news before long.” Her voice was sweet and soft as she looked up at Henry and she could see the angry gleam behind his kind answer of yes, and he would also send for a doctor for her injuries.

Safely tucked inside of their suite a few minutes later Olivia dropped the act and went straight for the bathroom. Henry dropped onto the couch and grabbed his laptop, barking orders at his aides to call the front desk and obtain the requested phone. Alone in the room she stripped off the dress and avoided her own reflection as she stepped into the shower, letting the hot water wash away everything that had happened as she cried. The water was scalding against her skin to the point of pain but she stayed under the spray hoping it could burn the emotions away.

Seeing all the death that night had been something she had not been prepared for, bodies littering the ground, blood on the floors and walls, feeling the building rock with explosions. She was still terrified to close her eyes and see Leah’s lifeless gaze staring at the ceiling, afraid to feel everything as she fought to keep some sort of damper on her emotions. And the worst part was she felt totally and utterly alone. Henry didn’t care about her. He needed her there as the pretty wife ready to stand by his side in his climb to power. To give him pretty little children so they could show themselves as the wholesome family unit that the country loved.

Then there was the fact that she had seen Kyle which would have been overwhelming on its own. Just for a moment she had truly seen him for who he was, something she hadn’t witnessed in years, the calm and confident man she had fallen in love with. That was before he blanched like he had seen a ghost as he saw her face appear. She was his worst fear in that situation even with everything that was going on around them, she was the villain in that moment. She had hurt him so badly all those years ago and he still seemed to carry that hatred and pain with him. Olivia gave a shuddering sigh in the water spray as she pushed the hair off her face and physically winced at how she had behaved toward Kyle in that moment when he ran over to her after they escaped the building. As he jogged to her side she had felt her heart swell at the concern in his voice and face before she shot him down with her bite, again.

There was a soft knock on the bathroom door and Olivia quickly turned off the water before calling out she’d be there in a minute. Pulling a large white robe around herself she stepped out of the steamy bathroom to find the doctor Henry had sent for her waiting with his bag. Henry had set up shop with his team in the living room and he looked at her holding up the phone that had arrived for her. She quickly walked over and snatched it up with a bland smile and soft thanks. She then lead the doctor to the bedroom and shut the door behind them for some privacy.

She powered on the phone as the doctor worked in relative silence, the language barrier preventing much conversation. It took a bit to log in and setup her phone with all her old information and she sighed thinking about all the things she’d need to download and sign into again. Then there was the fact security would take it and have to lock everything down and monitor what she did. Even if she wasn’t privy to classified information, they still treated her technology like she was. As she downloaded one of her many social media apps an idea struck her, enough that it sent a jolt of excitement but apprehension in her stomach. Her fingers inched toward the search bar and she let her thumbs hover over the letters she suddenly wanted to type in. It was something she hadn’t done in a very long time, given the fact she had blocked Kyle on everything of hers and she knew he and his family had blocked her. But this was her chance now that she was logged out, she could try stalking anonymously and before all movements were tracked by IT and it was reported back to Henry.

“Thank you,” Olivia said absentmindedly as the doctor rose from their kneeling position on the floor after wrapping up her feet. She had barely felt the sting as her brain formulated all her plans and what she wanted to try and look at before the opportunity was taken away. She told herself just this once, she would look one time and see how he was before closing it all down again and putting Kyle back into the small box in her mind where she kept their memories safe. “My husband will,” she started to try and explain but the man just shook his head and backed out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

Alone Olivia pulled up a few apps and began her searching. She found Kyle’s account first and started just scrolling through his pictures. There weren’t too many, nothing compared to the amount of pictures on hers, but it was enough to get a hint of how his life had been since they parted. He was still obviously in the military, travelling overseas often based on the landscape pictures he had uploaded here and there. There were also pictures of him with a woman, their backs to the cameras or her face obscured in some way in all of their shots to keep her identity safe. Olivia felt the wave of jealousy hit her at one picture of them laughing mid kiss as Kyle attempted to cover her eyes with his hat that she had stolen. They were both so happy and that had been them once before she ruined it and screwed both of their lives up. She lingered for a while on the picture before finally continuing on. A few months later the woman was no longer in his feed and his posts became fewer and fewer until the last one that was over four months ago of a crystal-clear lake.

Sighing Olivia switched over to try and find his sister’s account and when she did, she found more pictures of Kyle. Of him relaxing on her back patio with a beer, helping with a Christmas dinner, playing with his nephew and even one of him passed out on her couch with a drink still in hand. The ache in Olivia’s chest was enough that she felt like she was going to be sick as she thumbed over Kyle’s smiling face at some sort of event where he was dancing with his sister. He always loved to dance, dragging her out onto the floor and spinning her like a professional even if she had two left feet. She was about to try and find his parents, if they even bothered with social media, when the bedroom door knob clicked. Quickly Olivia shut the social media apps and glanced at the clock. How had two hours already passed?

“Still awake?” Henry asked as he padded into the dark room in just his boxers. He had his phone in his hand still as he typed away, his eyes glancing momentarily at Olivia who was laying there watching him. “I figured you would have fallen asleep by now, you’ve been so quiet in here,” he looked over at the tv that was dark before the phone in her hands.

“I was reading,” Olivia lied quickly as she flipped her phone around to show the reading app she had opened hastily when he opened the door. “Lost track of time,” she shrugged a little before moving to set her phone on the nightstand and rose from the bed. Her feet stung as they hit the floor and she stumbled for a second before gaining her footing. She needed her pajamas, she was still only in her robe and she certainly wasn’t going to bed in that.

“Where are you going?” Henry asked lightly as he walked around the bed to her and reached out for the ties on the front of her robe. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you,” he smirked as he undid the loose knot and let the ties fall. “I know I’ve been busy, but I’ve made time for you and me tonight.”

“Not tonight, Henry,” Olivia said as she quickly grabbed the folds of her robes and held them closed against her body. “I’m tired, it’s been a long night and I’m sure you’ve got some sort of meeting first thing in the morning,” she stated but Henry grabbed her wrists and pulled them away from the front folds so the robe fell open. “Please don’t,” she tried as he pushed at the material on her shoulders so it fell down to her elbows. She knew fighting him on this was a losing battle when he had his mind set and it was just easier to give in.

“Tired? You seem pretty awake to me,” he mused as he tugged at the material to get it off her arms so it fell in a puddle on the floor. “Busy on your phone but the minute your husband comes to bed you are suddenly tired,” he tsked as he reached a hand under her chin and roughly tilted her head to look up at him. “Get back into bed like a good little girl,” he ordered, nodding his head toward the mattress. “You don’t even have to look at me,” he was smirking now, a cold quirk of his lips that Olivia knew meant nothing but pain for her.

“You can pretend I’m Kyle. I’ll even let you pull up a picture on your phone like you’ve been doing all night.” He laughed at the look of shock on Olivia’s face at those words. “You think I didn’t recognize him? That I didn’t know what you’ve been up to? My job is to know everyone and everything,” he shoved her face away hard to push her toward the bed. She stumbled and caught herself with her hip on the nightstand and he advanced on her. “I knew who he was the second he volunteered to find you. I only wish I could have been there to see the reunion,” he laughed before gesturing toward the bed again giving Olivia a chance to choose to get in herself before he forced her. “Your phone has already been set up by security, I’ve been watching you swipe around all night from my laptop. Looks like he’s happy, like you wanted.”

“Fuck you,” Olivia gasped before Henry grabbed her by the back of the neck and shoved her roughly down on the bed. She twisted and fought against the restraint, her hands gripping at the sheets as she pushed back against him but it was no use. He was bigger and stronger but she still squirmed and kicked at him in a valiant effort. “You fucking bastard,” she continued as he claimed her painfully, her head pressed hard into the bed to the point she was suffocating in the mattress. The fight just seemed to increase his interest so she gave up, letting him use her to get himself off before he climbed off of her and fell into the bed a few minutes later. She wouldn’t let him see her cry as she wiped her face on the sheets before getting into bed next to him and curling up in a ball, her back to him.

“Maybe this time it’ll actually take so you can do your one damn job,” Henry muttered in the dark as he grabbed his phone, the light reflecting on the ceiling. “We’re well past the time of having children, people are asking questions,” he mused as if they were having a normal conversation and he didn’t just force her into sex against her will. “Are you tracking your cycle like the doctor told you?” He asked as he tapped away.

“Yes,” Olivia answered curtly as she stared at the lamp on the nightstand. “And the pills,” she tacked on not wanting him to ask and hear his voice again. She had always wanted children but not with her monster of a husband. It would be another thing that trapped her and something he could hold above her head. She did everything she could to avoid having sex with Henry these days, faking headaches, her period, not going on trips with him and destroying her fertility meds when she felt safe to do so. So far she had been lucky and hadn’t fallen pregnant but Olivia had a feeling her luck was going to run out soon.

----------------------------

“Kyle,” the voice was coming from far away and Gaz muttered a response. They called to him again and he shifted on the cot, his eyes too heavy to open them. It had taken him so long to fall asleep and he felt like he had barely been out that long. He was exhausted and the alcohol was keeping his sensed dulled to the fact the voice seemed pressing.

“I’m not snoring,” Gaz muttered in a retort, his half-asleep brain thinking that Soap was yelling at him to shut up. He had always snored, his whole life he would shake the bed with them and his mother had sent him to countless doctors to make sure it wasn’t some deeper issue. “Piss off,” he added as Soap scoffed somewhere to his right.

“Get your ass up,” came another voice that was much louder as they slapped his feet off the cot causing his body to swing slightly.

Gaz instantly shot up at that. It was Price who was getting him up and he sounded pissed and the tone was urgent. Gaz scrambled to sit up and pulled his hat off his face, instantly turning it around backwards on his head as he blinked to get himself oriented with what was happening. Soap was sitting up on his cot across from him, feet on the floor bent over trying to do the same thing it seemed. Though he was a few steps ahead and already had his feet in his shoes.

“Sorry sir,” Gaz stated quickly as he caught Price’s face. He was pissed but he wasn’t pissed at them, Gaz knew the man’s facial expressions after this long. “What happened?” He asked reaching toward his pistol out of instinct as Soap rose from his seated position not bothering to tie up his boot laces yet.

“Another attack,” Price said simply before turning around toward the living area where Alex was typing furiously on a laptop, Ghost standing over his shoulder watching. “Right under their fucking noses,” he added before grabbing a remote to turn on the television.

For an instant Gaz’s mind went right to Olivia, worried that she was part of the attack. It was ridiculous, he hadn’t worried or cared about her in years but after seeing her she was in the forefront of his mind. He had even had a dream about her in the little bit of sleep he had gotten which pissed him off even more. When Price flipped to the news Gaz crossed his arms over his chest standing shoulder to shoulder with Soap as they watched. It was all in Russian but Gaz was able to piece together what had happened when the undersecretary’s name and face came across the screen.

‘You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Soap muttered as he shifted a bit on his feet, his arms tightening in their crossed position. “How? Their place was the most secure one around. Ghost swept it and checked their security,” he stated, though he cowed a bit at the glare Ghost threw at him. He had taken Soap’s words as if he were accusing him of not being able to do his job.

“We don’t know yet, Alex is going over the security footage now,” Price answered as the police on the television wheeled out a gurney with a body bag on it. “It was quiet but a blood bath nonetheless,” he explained. “Someone ordered room service and when the hotel staff brought it up they noticed there was no security stationed outside and the door was unlocked. They went in and found everyone inside dead. Undersecretary, his wife, their children. All the staffers,” Price spat out with a shake of his head.

“How did they pull it off so quietly? And who is they?” Gaz inquired before Alex chimed in he was in the feed. It was currently live but he started pulling the camera timeline backwards until he got to the part where a group of men slaughtered the two security men outside of the undersecretary’s suite in less than thirty seconds. “Fuckin’ hell,” Gaz muttered as Alex switched the feed inside the room and the watched the bloodbath ensue. They were efficient, lethal and obviously trained for something like this as they wiped out multiple lives without any sort of hesitation.

“Still working out the they part,” Alex stated as Price stepped away to take a call. “They wore all black, covered their faces and from what I could see they walked in the back door of the hotel. I’m going to need more street camera feeds to try and see if I can trace their movement backwards and find where they came from or other identifying features.”

“We can all start combing,” Gaz said as took a seat at the table and dragged an ipad toward himself and typed in the password. “I’ll look into the hotel if you want to start on the street. The knew the room too well so they’ve been staking it out probably for days, maybe we’ll find something there,” he offered before Alex nodded.

Soap and Ghost took up seats at the table as well and they all got down to work, hunched over their seats trying to figure out where these people had come from. Gaz was looking for patterns, for familiar faces that kept appearing over days, workers behaving oddly or even seemingly benign interactions between people. The news stayed on in the background while they all worked and after almost three hours Ghost said he had something. He found where an unmarked van had been coming and going for almost a month with laundry deliveries and it matched the make and model of the same one Gaz had blown up at the venue.

“Send it to Laswell,” Price said as he came back in from yet another phone call. “Mark everything you’ve got. Time stamps, any patterns, ideas,” he continued as he took a seat on the couch and tightened his boot laces up. “We’ve been asked to go to American embassy again. We’re tentatively sharing intel and working on our next steps. It wasn’t just the British targeted, the CIA intercepted what they think was an attempt on the American ambassador last night. The operatives got away before they could be apprehended,” and he looked pointedly at Alex.

“I’ll call my contacts, see if they can give me anything,” Alex answered quickly. Having come from the CIA he had that tie with old colleagues and bosses. “I’m willing to bet they’re going to try and keep this quiet. Attack on British succeeded and American failed. Who knows if anything happened with Chinese, Franch, German and Russian officials. This could be war level shit,” Alex mused aloud everything they were all thinking.

“What about the rest of the Brits that are still here?” Soap asked, not daring to glance in Gaz’s direction because that meant Olivia and her husband. “We can’t trust their security right now and we’re their best shot.”

“We are,” Price agreed with a nod. “Which is why we are going to get and evacuate them first. They’ve been ordered not to leave their rooms or open the door for anyone but me. We leave in ten.” He looked pointedly at Gaz for a moment and gave him a small nod, the only small reassurance he would offer.

Gaz didn’t portray anything he was feeling on his face as he turned around and went back to his cot to suit up. He wasn’t going in a suit and tie today, but instead he’d be in his tactical vest and armed to the teeth. He had a job to get done and while he was not looking forward to seeing Olivia and her husband so soon, or ever again, he would have to push those feelings down and deal with them later. His fingers itched toward the pack of smokes he had tucked in his pants pocket but he didn’t reach for them yet. He had a feeling he was going to need a whole pack later and maybe more of Soap’s Scotch.

#fanfic #fanfiction #call of duty fanfic #ao3 fanfic #ao3fanfic #ao3writer #ao3 author #my fic #gaz fanfic #kyle gaz garrick #gaz cod #gaz x oc #keeping lines blurry

2 notes · View notes

lavenderandpear · 2 years

Text

01/11/22

Probably as I continue to post things more frequently I’m going to talk about some things which will definitely need context. Since tumblr has this nifty pin feature I thought I might make a post that’s a bit of a re-intro and glossary, it also might help you understand what you’re getting yourself in for these days when following me since I’m a bit of a spectacle with my interests and oddities.

Basics: I’m Kay, I’m 33 (fun fact: when I joined tumblr the first time I was 19 - lol what the fuck is that about), I live in and am from Australia. I like tea, cats, music, baking, crafts, and op shops. I’m very much into the cottage core aesthetic, and I love playing Minecraft. I’m a singing teacher. I have had two serious relationships with people from tumblr, they are memories and people that I hold so dear to my heart. I mention this because you may be wondering, ‘hey, didn’t they date…’ and yes, there’s a chance you may be correct.

Oddities: I’m kinky and into BDSM, it’s a big deal to me and is a huge part of who I am. I’m neuro-divergent which means my brain does back flips when it should be doing front flips: my specific brands are anxiety, depression, PMDD, and autism spectrum stuff ADHD.

I suffer from chronic fatigue and a pain disorder, and these things cause me to be very sleepy most of the time. I’m polyamorous and participate in ethical non-monogamy: I have multiple partners, all who are very good friends with each other and it largely feels like a daydream from which I hope I never awaken. I’m happy to talk about any of these things to anyone, if you want to know more I’m a fairly open book and love nerding out about these things.

In the past when I’ve been on here I’ve over-indulged my sadboi vibes, and it’s so easy to do that here! Tumblr, along with any social platform, can be such a black-hole for perpetuating bad mental habits (for me especially). To be honest, one of the reasons that I had to take such a long break was so I could try and break some of these cycles, as I mentioned before I’ve been a ghost in these hallways for over a decade and it definitely had an impact on my mental health and especially when I made memes and aesthetics and an online personality out of being TheSadboiTM.

While I don’t really subscribe to toxic positivity, I also don’t think I’m going to be the sadboi as much. There’s all sorts of things to celebrate in my life these days, and while there’s definitely times when things are very overwhelming and very hard what I would like is to approach it with balance. Tumblr is a really beautiful artistic platform, and has so many uplifting and interesting and silly posts that can be found at the click of a button. That’s one of the best things about this place: there’s so much user generated content and it’s niche and compelling and so easy to get lost in and to have a break from the bad brain stuffs with. I want to add to that eclectic pile.

Plus I love going back and looking through my blog and finding things that are funny, relatable, or just a vibe. It brings me so much joy! And I hope that it will for you, too.

Anyway thanks for reading, and I hope you have a really good day. Or, atleast, a day that’s better than it might otherwise have been. Here’s a song I like at the moment, if you like upbeat jazzy lofi sunday-sessions kinda indy vibes you might like it, too ( @johnzilla87 I’m looking directly at you square in the whole face).

Oh and here’s a cat video because that lifts everyone’s spirits all the time, and is a fundamental part of my life sort of in general. Also I mean look at her?!

#about me #Spotify

6 notes · View notes

stephanericherthanyou · 2 years

Text

Ch11-20

Ch11: Back Leachbomb or Mom

i’ve been resisting posting all the chapter covers but i just--tatsuhime

[insert pleading emoji here] i adore them

Ch12: The Gate of the End

fraccion prototype?

this one also has a cool cover...i think about one of those satire wikis a lot, idr which one it was but the entry for kubo was like “big time fashion designer who didn’t make it as a manga artist (bleach & zombiepowder have been forgotten except in trivia about the fashion guy)” or something...i liked this about the furuba chapter covers too, everyone is in seriously cool fashion...anyway, peak visuals, gg

oh interesting - iirc in the anime it was rukia who said that yuuichi’s mom would be waiting for him (perhaps i am wrong?), but in the manga it’s ichigo and that changes things a *lot*

Ch13: Bad Standard

kon *and* urahara at once, wrow

Ch14: School Daze!!

i wonder if the refs here to contemporary (to the early 2000s) pop culture were that way originally or if it was just the translation...it’s likely keigo’s attempt to teach the bird to say he looks like celebs was, but is the “only bru//ce willis” line?

Ch15: Jumpin’ Jack Jolted

Ch16: Wasted but Wanted

I LOVE when two charas are fighting a common enemy and also each other and then the common enemy interrupts their fight and they are Not Having It

& related to this, i do wonder who knows and how much about urahara and his dealings. obviously he’s able to get goods from soul society, and shinigami know about him (iirc he found rukia after ch1 tho, so she didn’t already know about him). so how open is the secret? his non-shinigami customer base would be like...the vizards and maaaaaybe ryuuken, tho i always assumed (or maybe it’s shown/stated) that he sells regular old human stuff too

Ch17: 6/17

ahh...memories in the rain, everything but the rain, *george lucas voice* it’s like poetry it rhymes

Ch18: 6/17 Op.2 Can’t Smile Don’t Blame

i do like that kubo chose a concrete date for when masaki died.

also the interspersing of the family going to the grave with tatsuki explaining everything to orihime...

Ch19: 6/17 Op.3 Memories in the Rain

if it weren’t the middle of the day i’d be playing the “drink whenever there’s dramatic irony” game (this time wrt kon’s remark on rukia losing friends bc she’s too focused on her work)

it’s easy to lose sight of rukia just hanging out in the world of the living, sleeping in ichigo’s closet, etc, but she’s isolated from her friends, in deep trouble wrt the “gave up all my powers to a human by accident” thing, and there’s no one she feels she can really reach out to. :(

*slams down imaginary glass* HOOOOBOY mrs ishida made sure of that

i’ve never actually seen ‘this is us’ but i’ve read some of the vulture recaps and this chap actually reminded me of the latest (sorry paywalled) a bit? you have a mom who is a superwoman to her kids to some degree and they want to be the ones who protect her but don’t know how, and have built up an unrealistic image of her....tho, obviously, the kurosaki kids were still rly young at this point, not actual adults approaching middle age

anyway, dr kurosaki, good job on not sending your kid to therapy after having witnessed his mother’s death at the age of 9! (i mean yeah this would have been the 90s and there’s the whole ghost thing, but...at least recognize your kid’s carrying that guilt around with him and talk to him about it in the ensuing 6-7 years)

Ch20: 6/17 Op.4 Face Again

“I don’t have a method of stepping into the depths of your heart without it getting dirty. So I’ll wait.” nnn

#richer rereads bleach #text post #long post #the foreshadowing is so delicious #and in general the substitute arc is a fave of mine #bleach

1 note · View note

frobin · 3 years

Note

Random consideration: there is an online legend about Oda can change story events if someone on the web/fans guess the thing. So... what do you think about this topic? It can be really valid? If yes, even for whatever eventual not-canon ships? I don't know, because ships are just a very side element in the story, and not like main events of the storyline. (And for my opinion, for Jin:be father topic, I could agree with who said is for the age, maybe. Anyway, I will ship FroBin forever).

Hey anon! Thank you for your question!

Maybe Oda really made Jinbe the dad because of age. right now Oda and Jinbe have the same age (46). He has two children who are (if the internet and my math are correct) 15 and 12 years old. So may it’s not unlikely? If he connects with Jinbe he would rather see him as a dad than a grandparent or a weird uncle.

Now, to the rest... I have to say sorry for answering so late but as of right now I’m writing parts of my answer and I literally pulling my hair because I really try to make sense of the whole situation and trying to understand the intention of a 46 year old japanese man. And this is long again so sorry about that. Anyway...

I have heard about that. I remembered something about Oda not reading Fan Theories and now I googled once more. Apparently this is the newest Information:

"Oda once said he will change OP story if it coincides with fan theories. But according to TV show today, Oda will never change his plan about "final chapter" even if a fan theory hits the nail on the head. Oda said in 1999 that he had already decided final panel and chapter."

https://twitter.com/sandman_AP/status/1352851201478418432?s=20

I don’t think Oda is actively browsing the web for OP content ( how would he have time to) but he gets fanmail with questions and suggestions. And considering that over 4 million people are One Piece fans... one of them has to get it correct eventually. Trying to avoid any similarity with any fan-theory is IMPOSSIBLE.

And I do believe that Oda knows how he wants One Piece to end and won’t change that, no matter what.

As for the details in-between........ I wouldn’t say Oda is not prone to be a Troll and sometimes downright an ass towards his fans. XD Never out of malice but because he thinks it’s funny.

I’m also sure he will never focus on romance in the manga, but since love is an important part of life it will come into play now and then. Classic romance (?) more with side-characters (Roger/Rouge, Sai/Baby5, Bege/Chiffon) than with main (Strawhats) but still possible.

He may very well edit less-important plot lines if they don't change the ending.

That also includes, that I absolutely think it’s possible that the Strawhats will have romantic involvement at the end of the story. At the moment it is never in the focus, except for plot reason (Whole Cake Island for example, though that is an entirely different topic) but absolutely possible.

Because the Strawhats boning each other or maybe someone outside of the crew will not change the story. It has no influence to anything, except if it’s on a higher scale, like if Luffy really suddenly married Boa Hancock. That would influence the political outline of the world.

Meanwhile Pauli/Iceburg or Noland/Cagara or Bartolomeo/Cavendish have literally no influence to the story (anymore). And I don’t think I have to start on things like other rare pairs or even OC-ships.

That being said, and having more stuff in mind, I wouldn’t put it past Oda to actually focus more on Jin/Bin.

Why? Well...

we had so many interactions between Robin and Franky after the time skip that it was almost ridiculous. In every single arc we see them fight alongside each other. We had strong romantic tropes portrayed with them:

Their meeting after the timeskip (Sabaody Archipelago)

Franky having his head in Robins lap (Punk Hazard)

Wearing the same shirt (Dressrosa)

Finishing each others sentence (Zou)

Franky offering Robin a ride and her answering with a heart (Wano)

And the moment the internet exploded when Robin was holding Frankys face. Which yeah, only a Colorspread and not canon yadda yadda

For now let’s gloss over all the other moments that showed that they cared for each other.

... so many.

Anyway what I want to say is that Oda had declared “All the Strawhats are in love with adventure.” and “I won’t focus on romance.” but is seemingly showing a connection between Franky and Robin, that made one think that he might actually be aboard the ship even if the fandom itself is rather silent and small.

Meanwhile when Jinbe appeared (in the timeskip) he was instantly a hit. His popularity then rose thanks to Fishmen Island Arc. And again I can’t blame anyone. On the other hand Franky always had a hard stance. This was recently shown again because is the lowest ranked Strawhat in the popularity poll.

One (Oda) might come to a conclusion here:

Maybe people don’t like Franky and so would dislike FRobin. But since Oda also seems to enjoy grown up relationships (?) maybe he thinks Jinbe is the only reasonable replacement? -> It could be a tactial decision.

Maybe he really changed his opinion and personally likes one more than the other. He was a FRobin supporter but now likes JinBin more? It wouldn't change anything for the story and there wouldn't be any harm -> It could be a personal decision.

Maybe he fears that he put too many hints in the manga and now has to paddle back? Because let’s be honest, until the colourspread with Robin putting her hand on Frankys face... the FRobin fandom was on the backburner. And so he wants to throw out some Red Herrings. -> Again a tactial decision

Maybe he never inteded to make it romantic and it is actually all just friendship. Subtext is something many authors use without being aware of it. (Just ask anyone who is a lesbian!Nami fan. They have good points.) -> A mistake from the very beginning.

And you can use these same thoughts for every other non-canon ship.

Please take everything of this with a grain of salt because I try to understand the intention of a man who is more than 10 years my senior and from a culture I can’t even start to try to comprehend (sometimes I don’t even get my own culture), who is the head figure of a money-making machine. So it’s hard to tell what else influences his decisions.

My interpretations are influenced by my own experiences and knowledge which is big and vast but also stretched very thin.

Last but not least I want to make clear that any speculation is really the same as asking a crystal ball. In the western fandom we have only few people who can even slightly try to give an insight to the whole thing and they (smart enough) keep out of any shipping discourse.

tl;dr: I don’t think Oda will change the ending. But I do think that he is willing to change minor plotlines and so yes I think Oda might change couples for any possible reason, as long as it does not change the ending, and he does not even has to choose a good reason because in the end they are his characters and he is free to do whatever he wants with them.

#FRobin #One Piece Meta #One Piece Analysis #One Piece Shipping #One Piece Storytelling #long post #text #ask #if in the end it turns out that Franky is gay and just friends with Robin I'll drink a lot #Not because I wouldn't accept that but because I got it SO wrong #Should I make videos of some of my postings?#kon #Anon

43 notes · View notes

lochnessies · 3 years

Text

ok here’s a dissection of a post an anon sent me the link to and bc i have the worst time management possible and i completely forgot i had it lol so sorry anon here you go ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

I am constantly thinking about how Edelgard just doesn’t seem designed to appeal to cishet men.

i hate to be the one to break this news to you op but just because a character doesn’t show skin like charlotte fire emblem doesn’t mean she isn’t designed to pander to men. she’s very much designed to pander to the (majority straight male) player base with her ‘uwu i only trust you professor omg did u see that rat? pls don’t look at my painting of you uwu’.

then there’s the whole edelgard c support in japanese where byleth makes reference to having come to her room for ‘yobi’ which is

there’s also the scene where byleth can make an unsolicited comment about edelgard’s breast size. which is… uhh… gross.

edelgard also has cipher cards that go from slightly fanserviceie to full on suggestive

and also her breast armor that my sister relentlessly mocked lol

and here’s a chart from the 3h subreddit about gender/sexually in regards to edelgard and edeleth. it’s extremely straight male. op might have just overlooked this since they probably don’t go on reddit and stay on tumblr (which unlike reddit is mostly female and has a high lgbt demographic).

Like the joke is that Bleagles is the Gay House, but everything about her feels deliberately non-hetero.

i don’t like where this is going…

She’s dressed in sharp outfits covering her upper body, with proportions that don’t seem exaggerated.

so women who cover up must be lgbt because straight women are naturally more revealing? oh y i k e s

Her poise and the way she effortlessly flourishes her axe exhibits an air of coolness. While titties out =/= character of no substance, Edelgard being dressed more modestly suggests that she wasn’t designed with male-centred fanservice in mind.

“titties don’t equal no substance but here’s my post on how she has more substance because she doesn’t show titties” ok

And she still looks absolutely stunning in her more modest attire (like seriously, I haven’t felt the need to return to cosplay in years but I want to do her academy look so bad).

yes she does. amazing design 10/10. i have a feeling this is the only part i’m going to agree with

Edelgard is intense. She does not mince her words and she is constantly evaluating you. Though she tries, she has a difficult time understanding her peers initially. Early on, she talks about how she would sacrifice herself and others in the name of some greater good. She is terrible at communicating with her peers. She has to be seen as infallible. Her heart has been hardened for years and she assumes she has to stay that way. She also assumes everyone mourns the same way she does - which is why she (kind of insensitively) insists you move on when Jeralt dies. Because to her, grief has to be channeled towards action, or else you’ll get lost in it. This attitude is demonstrated time and time again as she presses on. It can make her come off as cold and unfeeling - but look closer, and she’s anything but.

don’t really have anything to say at this part. it is pretty on the nose though i would slightly disagree with that last sentence a bit. i wouldn’t say she’s as i feeling as hubert is but all of her talks of the war boil down to how she feels and never her victims.

Her story is ultimately about her realizing that to achieve her goals, she needs to let people in and allow herself to want things like cakes and tea parties and lazy days in peace.

????? what ????? her goals include imperialism, ethnic and religious targeting. her story is about having a set of beliefs and mowing down anybody who stands in her way. that has nothing to do with tea, friends, and lazy days. also am i supposed to be sad that she has to get up everyday and work? i do that and i didn’t start a war and only throw a pity party for myself

The game leaves the player guessing as to how involved the Flame Emperor was in each Part I event, makes you feel hurt by her betrayal, and leaves you with a choice: do you follow the orders of the woman who tried to make you a god without your consent, or a young girl with questionable morals about to throw the world into upheaval?

this isn’t an ideal situation but i think i’m going to stick with the woman who tried to make me a god since i’m not selfish and i know it’s not only my desires and life at stake here. plus the green hair slaps ngl

Choosing her of your own volition (not for completionist reasons) requires the basic ability to sympathize with a woman’s pain. It also requires the player to read beyond her unwavering will and dubious methods to get a sense of how deep that pain goes and how the theme of humanity relates to her differently in each route.

i’m not going to touch this since @nilsh13 made a post on it that i’ll link here. i agree with everything he said so to repeat it would be redundant.

The player must be able to see a young woman’s desperate resolve to change the world so it stops exploiting people and ruining lives. They must be able to accept the fact that women can make the same morally wrong and ambivalent decisions that complicated male characters get to make all the time and still be the one to root for.

literally the same reason i love rhea lol her goddess experiments are dubious at best but her reasons are the same you mentioned. i would say that i like this quality in edelgard too if her ending, while bloody, actually ended in a good outcome for fodlan.

This is not unique to LGBT+ people, but this population is likely to understand why Edelgard feels so strongly about why she has to change the system.

i understand wanting to change a system, i really do. like edelgard, i’m an opinionated bisexual woman (who’s also physically disabled) so yeah i get it. and change can be good but it can also be terrible. even if the church was the boogeyman edelgard treats it as she still replaces it with her own shit regime. so it’s the same circus just with a new conductor.

I don’t think “Edelgard gets undue criticism because she’s a woman” captures the full picture. An important aspect of her treatment by certain parts of the fandom is that she’s a radical woman.

or maybe she does some pretty fucked up shit and it goes unacknowledged in her own route. and yeah she’s radical but in all the worst ways.

Her hatred of the Church and the Crest system resonates way harder with people who have been hurt by institutions that are deeply engrained in our society.

and what about people who have been hurt by systems where their ‘merit’ didn’t measure up and they were left behind? what about people from nations that experienced imperialism?

Siding with her means siding against the Church - which, while different from real world religious institutions, still invokes language about “sin” and “punishment.

yeah the ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ are used in relation to attempted murders which i think everybody can agree is a bad thing that needs to be condemned.

Choosing Edelgard will likely hit different if homophobic and transphobic Christians used that rhetoric against you.

it has literally nothing to do with ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ in regards to being gay or trans. that’s you projecting. especially since the church has 2 canon gay characters and two coded ones.

like i can understand why having a church condemn you can be uncomfortable but i’m begging you to please look at the context of what’s happening.

I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that the reason F/F Edeleth is the more popular iteration of that ship because most people who would choose to S-support Edelgard are LGBT+ themselves. This is not a revelation. To anyone in the community, it’s fairly obvious.

i was talking to nilish and he said

so yeah… while there is definitely sapphic femleth shippers out there, there’s still a whole lot of weird fetishizing going on from straight men about edelgard.

Crimson Flower was my first route. I went into the game knowing absolutely nothing. I played it during the last week of 2020 and hoo boy was it cathartic.

i can tell. this wasn’t supposed to be a dig but it came out that way and i’m not taking it out.

I felt like I was living out a gay revolution power fantasy, where I could truly change systems of oppression while fighting alongside a group of troubled students I’d shaped the lives of.

so a gay revolution power fantasy (cringe) goes hand in hand with imperialism and installing a dictatorship? also the war had nothing to do with sexuality.

Through your unwavering support, Edelgard learns that she needs to be human, that she must listen to her friends, and that she’s allowed to enjoy the world she’s creating.

edelgard gets to learn how to be human all while hunting those who don’t. and she doesn’t listen fo her friends. she doesn’t even trust them. she’s willing to talk to byleth but keep the people who’s been by her side for five years in the dark about everything. and yeah she gets to enjoy her new words since she’s on top. hate to be a commoner under her rule after she burned down my village in her war.

I love this character so much.

clearly. and i honestly don’t care if somebody likes her. i do as well even if my sometimes scathing words can make it seem otherwise.

It has been six months since I first played and I am still analyzing her,

me too. please help me escape i’m losing my mind

because there’s so much depth. Yet so many people fail to see that depth and dismiss her as evil,

i mean, she does some fucked up shit that goes beyond any of the less than desirable actions of the other main characters and does an extremely poor job in trying to make herself seem innocent. i personally don’t think she’s pure evil but i completely understand where the people who say she is are coming from.

because they never had the will to understand complicated women in the first place.

that’s big talk from somebody who implies that a gay pope is comparable to homophobic and transphobic irl religions and that leads an oppressive regime all because she uses the vague terms of sin and punishments that you have to gay power fantasy your way out of

#i finished this at 1am so sorry if i’m incoherent #mine

69 notes · View notes

transgenderteensurvivalguide · 3 years

Note

So I looked through a detransition blog just out of curiosity, since it was one you reblogged, but now I’m super... freaked out? I have a top surgery consultation in April but now I have this weird fear that I’m faking it or that I’ll regret it afterwards. I’ve identified as somewhere along non-binary and trans (he/they!) for over a year, and I’ve known I’m not a girl for even longer, but now I’m just so afraid that maybe I don’t know myself at all. Do you have any advice on what this is?

Lee says:

Discussing your feelings with a therapist can sometimes help you untangle the anxiety from everything else. It’s reasonable to have some apprehension about a major surgery that can have a big impact on your life because it is a big change- and like any other surgery, it also has medical risk and can result in complications.

And reading about other people’s feelings about their surgeries can be helpful! I do recommend reading things from people who were happy with the outcome and reading things from people who weren't to get a better perspective on the range of experiences that can exist. Only reading the negative or the positive doesn’t provide a balanced view!

But even if you read other people’s stories, and talk to them about why they feel the way they do about their choices and bodies, nobody else can tell you what you should do for yourself. Even a therapist can’t know for sure if you will regret surgery (or anything else that you choose to do) because nobody can see into the future, see into your heart, and see into mind simultaneously to and determine for certain what it is that you need.

As soon as I came out as non-binary when I was 15, I started saving money for top surgery. I was someone who ran towards top surgery at full tilt and I didn’t give myself any space for doubt about whether it was the right choice for me because I felt it was the only choice I had-- forwards or nothing. I was pretty severely depressed at the time and had a brief hospitalization the month before I turned 18, and I was sort of pinning all my hopes on top surgery reducing my dysphoria and booting out my depression. So I scheduled my consultation as soon as I turned 18 and was legally an adult and could do so without parental permission. I immediately scheduled my surgery for the soonest available date, and had inverted-T incision top surgery about 3 months after I turned 18.

Now I’m 21 years old, and I’m 3 years and 5 months post-op from my top surgery.

In retrospect, top surgery was 110% the right choice for me. If I could do it all over again, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Top surgery really did reduce my dysphoria by a significant amount, and that made it easier for me to cope with my depression and other mental health issues. I was proudly parading around the house shirtless as soon as I was able to stop using post-op compression, before my incisions had even healed into scars.

I don’t have any dysphoria about my chest anymore, especially now that I’ve gotten tattoos to cover my scars. I finally feel like I look like how I always knew I was meant to look.

I don’t post pictures of my chest anymore because I have distinguishing tattoos but I’ve posted a few before/after pictures when I was 3 years post-op and I think things have only gotten better now.

I was lucky to not have any complications; I don’t have any nerve pain, and hypertrophic or keloid scarring, and I didn’t need any revisions. But there are some things that are non-ideal compared to if I had just been born with a typical cis-guy flat chest. My nips are a little wonky in color and shape, and I plan on getting medical tattoos at some point to even the edges out. I also have slightly muted sensation in my chest now, so everything is like slightly number than it was before.

When I was pre-op, I did enjoy having nipple sensation that was pleasurable; even though I had inverted t-incision top surgery which preserved the nipple stalk, I still only have tactile, temperature, and pain sensations in my chest. If you put an ice cube on my nipple and my eyes were closed, I’d know it was cold. If you poked me while I was looking away, I’d still feel it. And if you squeezed me, it would hurt. But somehow it doesn’t feel good anymore like it used to.

I don’t know how much of that loss in erotic sensation is a mental thing and how much is a physical change caused by scar tissue build up around the nerve. But regardless, it is a real loss.

For me, that loss is well worth it. While I might have been physically capable of experiencing erotic nipple/chest sensation before, I rarely actually did have that experience because it made me too dysphoric and I didn’t like to take my shirt off during sex. Now I feel more fully present and comfortable in my own body and it makes me more engaged so I can focus on my partner and on the other feelings I’m having and how I look isn’t something that is detracting from the experience.

In general, top surgery has made my life better in a million ways. I love running shirtless with my college cross country team, I like going swimming at the beach with no shirt, and I like the way I look now when I see myself in a mirror after stepping out of the shower.

When I get dressed in the morning, my day starts off on a neutral note because it’s just me putting on clothes. Sometimes I pause to think about how I can just put on a shirt and feel good about it and move on. Before, I used to be upset every morning because the first thing I’d be reminded of when I woke up was that my chest was there and I didn’t want it to be. I’m Autistic, and binding was Not comfortable for me sensory-wise, so not having to bind was also nice.

I would choose to get top surgery again, but that doesn’t mean that it’s the right choice for each and every person. I am sure it was the right choice for me, and I have no regrets at all, I never want to have breasts again. But someone else might think that not having erotic nipple sensation is a dealbreaker, or they might not be comfortable with scars if they tend to heal with more visible raised scars that are harder to cover with a tattoo like I did mine.

So I can tell you that top surgery has made my life better and I’m glad I got it and I don’t think that there would have been any way for me to be as happy as I am now if I had not gotten it. Top surgery is life saving and life-changing for some people, and I am one of those people. I might be more inclined to tell people that if you think you need surgery you should get it because my surgery went so well and because I’m still identifying as genderqueer, transmasculine, and non-binary, just like I was when I was 15, so my identity is pretty static there.

Some other post-op people may tell you that they regret their surgery, that they wish they hadn’t done it, and they would make a different decision if they could go back in time. They might want to help warn other people to not make the same mistake that they did. Detransitioned folks often (but not always) have a different perspective than folks who persisted in being transgender and that’s okay- it isn’t a better perspective or a worse one, just a different one. But both trans and reidentified people can feel this way, even though it’s usually more common for de-trans folks to regret surgical procedures that it is for trans folks.

I semi-rushed into surgery for both emotional and logistical reasons but I knew it was right for me. But that isn’t the best choice for everyone and if you aren’t 100% sure that it is what you want and need then there’s nothing wrong with having the consultation with the surgeon to learn more and then thinking things over before you schedule a surgery date (or don’t), you don’t need to immediately schedule a surgery date after the consult. Think of it as an interview and as an information gathering session.

Neither of us can tell you what you should do because neither of us are “right” or “wrong” about top surgery. It’s just a different experience and a different perspective. We all have biases based on our own way of seeing things, and that can inform our advice.

If you know what the risks are, and you’ve given it careful thought and can provide an informed consent, then whether you should get surgery is your decision. I won’t tell you “go get it!” or “don’t go get it!” and I don’t think that any blogger should be telling anons what medical procedures to get or not get.

Worrying that you’re faking it, that you don’t know who you are, and worrying about regret is something that can be pretty scary and frustrating, but you don’t need to figure it out on your own, and it’s okay to take a little longer to come to a decision and talk it over with a therapist if you think it’s necessary to help you cope with that anxiety.

But yeah, I believe that ultimately you have to trust your gut feelings on what you know to be right for you.