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archivomeow · 2 months

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yelena belova is aroace.

Yelena Belova is canonically aroace.

Lately people dismissing that has been getting on my nerves VERY much, so I’m making this post lol.

First the terminology:

Aromantic — an individual who doesn’t experience romantic attraction.

Asexual — an individual that doesn’t experience sexual attraction.

AroSpec — spectrum that includes different aromantic identities, from aros who don’t feel romantic attraction to those who do under certain circumstances or rarely.

AceSpec — spectrum that includes different asexual identities, from aces who don’t feel sexual attraction to those who do under certain circumstances or rarely.

So first thing i will put here is this;

This in my humble opinion should be enough of a proof, but apparently it is not.

First this part of an interview, the person speaking is a creator/co-creator of Yelena. She says she is most likely to identify as asexual than to follow Nat’s romantic path. Hinting at both aro & ace.

So in the comics Yelena shows no interest dating, as far as i am aware she has no romantic interest in the comics. She is repulsed by sex, she calls herself „nothing” referring to her sexual identity.

As much as many like to say she is a lesbian, she is not, how fucking stupid you sound, honestly. She says it herself, if I said I’m not a lesbian, would you question it? No? Then don’t question her, she says she is not a lesbian, she has no wlw storyline. Drop the fucking lesbian hc.

Some possible foreshadowing in the MCU

1. When she is talking with a widow and a former Ana (show: Hawkeye), there is a line said by the widow accompanying her: „…you and Natasha can be reunited again and live your sex in the city fantasy”.

^ Yelena leaves the room, as soon as the word „sex” is mentioned her face drops, then we have this scene where she’s looking at herself in the mirror.

2. When talking about kids and family (movie: Black Widow) she mentions she wants a dog.

3. When describing „fake story” of her life she made up because her birth certificate was burnt she says Natasha has a husband and talks about her parents, but mentions nothing about her husband or possible spouses or children. (movie: Black Widow)

4. Yelena tends to wear a lot of aro/ace flag colors.

green coat & purple lipstick (green = aro | purple = ace)

yellow & blue colors = aroace flag

Overall Yelena wears a lot of green and white and black together, aromantic flag colors.

^^ can you call that „over the top?” yeah sure… let me remind yall something else:

when enid wore this sweather yall went WILD.

but when Yelena is wearing aroace colors all the time it’s called „reaching”…?

I will continue this with even more, because while you can agree with me and say she is aroace, still there will be people who claim she is aroace, agree, but then this fucking argument comes into place:

„AROS CAN DATE”

„ACES CAN FUCK”

„QPRS EXIST”

Do you see what’s wrong with those sentences? Nothing.

There’s a „but” thoooo…

There is nothing wrong with those, but using those arguments to totally ignore her sexuality ship her and treat her like suddenly she is allo is not it.

Yelena has shown no interest in dating or sex, we can assume she is sex-repulsed as she has shows repulsion to sex and she is to me at least implied to be romance-repulsed.

And we’ve found the problem.

Sex Repulsed Aces are as you can imagine repulsed by sex. Romance Repulsed Aros are repulsed by romance… So how is someone repulsed by said things engaging in said interaction and is not repulsed by them???

I think it’s a great idea to write her into said situations to show she is repulsed and to show it’s okay, because her life, my life, the lives of other uninterested in such thing aro/ace, our lives don’t end here.

Using how some people navigate through their sexuality to justify this is wrong.

You wouldn’t write a lesbian with a man, because bi lesbians exist and she may be a bi lesbian, right?

^ just an fyi, that’s an example, the term bi-lesbian is extremely harmful to both bisexuals and lesbians. check out this for more.

The QPR dilemma is that you don’t understand what a QPR is… it’s not more than friends…it’s not in the middle, it’s out of the regular binary of relationships. Relationships I actually think are QPRs:

Friends with benefits — purely platonic, but you fuck.

Situationship — just friends that do romantic stuff together, unless you call it a romantic relationship, with the other person agreeing on that, it is not one.

QPRs are amazing and beautiful, but it’s not always about fucking and kissing and „acting like a couple” but being a QPR. It can be being friends and living together, not temporary. It can be being friends and co-parenting. It can be many things.

But as I said Yelena is repulsed, why would someone repulsed by sex/romance engage in said thing happily with no doubts, fears, negative feelings just because it’s a qpr, so it’s suddenly fine…?

This is for now all I have to say about this.

As an AroAce, who desires no romantic relationship or a sexual one please please please let us have this representation, for once in our fucking lives.

MORE OF MY POSTS ON YELENA BEING AROACE AND ARO/ACE LINKS LINKED HERE:

answering an anon-ask.

more talk about the comic panel.

harmful aro stereotypes.

shipping aroaces + yelena belova.

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1863-project · 10 months

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One of the reasons I really don’t engage much with fandom spaces at all these days is just how much casual ableism there is in fandom spaces, a lot of which is internalized ableism. And unfortunately, when you try to explain this to people, they often don’t want to hear it or accept that the ideas they’ve latched onto are actually often pretty harmful to people in the real world.

An example, one of many: people have had theories on N being a Zoroark since Black and White first came out in 2010. That was ableist then, and it’s ableist now - the changeling myth is thought to be rooted in children turning out to be neurodivergent (especially autistic), and if you’re looking at a human character that feels neurodivergent-coded and going “What if they’re not human?” it’s...well, neurodivergent people are already dehumanized in the real world. We’re so often treated as less than human that having a character who comes across as neurodivergent suddenly being not human can feel like a slap in the face to our own humanity.

(Ironically, neurodivergent people often found representation in non-human characters before human characters with neurodivergent traits started popping up in media - this goes back at least to the half-human, half-Vulcan Spock in Star Trek, and possibly far, far further. But that’s a topic for another time.)

Every time I see a character who feels pretty damn neurodivergent, I also see a wide chunk of the fandom interpret their neurodivergent traits really negatively, and it hurts. I don’t engage with the Submas fandom anymore outside of answering people’s train questions that they bring to me because enough people in said fandom looked at Emmet, a character who is more like me than any other fictional character I’ve ever seen in my life, and decided he was scary and unhinged, creepy because of the way he talks when he isn’t close to someone, potentially violent because of his intensity. He’s none of these things, he’s just one of the most autistic characters to ever be written. But the damage was done, because when I saw people treating a character just like me like that...well, it basically told me how they saw me, too.

I graduated high school way, way back in 2007. Some of the people on this website now weren’t alive back then. I wouldn’t get my autism diagnosis for two more years, and all I knew was that I was somehow different from the kids around me, and so many of them had bullied me for this. I was treated horribly because I was intense about my interests, talked differently, walked differently, and acted differently from them. It more or less went on for my entire time in school before I got to undergrad. That shit stays with you. I had this notion that this was how everyone saw me, and that still sits in the back of my mind in my 30s. It’s actually one of the things that prevents me from trying dating, because my bullies were primarily my male peers growing up. It was so important for me to see Ingo and Emmet being themselves and being accepted as themselves, because it meant that maybe people could accept me, too. Except then PLA dropped, and a bunch of new people came rushing in...and enough of them reacted in ways similar to how my bullies did when I was younger, so I had to disengage because it hurt too much.

And the cycle continues with every new character that takes the stage. Nemona debuted in Scarlet and Violet, and once you get more of her backstory in the later game and eventually the postgame you realize she sounds like a neurodivergent person surrounded by neurotypicals. I’ve seen headcanons of autism, ADHD, and a few other neurodivergencies, all of which were definitely people relating to her experiences with their own - Geeta even introduces the “weird girl” to the “new kid” at the beginning of the game in the hopes that she’ll make a friend, a common experience for neurodivergent kids growing up. But then I started seeing people calling her a yandere, and they weren’t joking, and I knew that people who related to Nemona who saw that were going to feel hurt the way I did with people taking Emmet’s autistic traits so negatively.

Fandom spaces tend to be online bubbles, so to speak, and people don’t often realize the impact that these attitudes have in the real world. It’s important for people to have representation and see themselves in the media they interact with, because that’s extremely affirming and validating. Seeing a fictional character just like you being accepted for who they are goes a long, long way when you’re being bullied for who you are in your real life. When you see a bunch of people looking at those harmless traits of yours that people bully you for and interpret them in ways that portray you as scary, creepy, or even unhinged and dangerous...it does damage.

I think about people with psychosis. I think about how media has portrayed them throughout the ages, and how stigmatized they are as a result. I think about people with personality disorders, about people with OCD (of which I’m one myself), about autistic people and ADHD people and people with Tourette’s and other tic disorders, about plural people/systems...the list can go on, and on, and on, and this post doesn’t even touch upon physical disabilities and how ableist fandom spaces can be to them, too (cons being physically difficult to navigate are just one challenge of many they face). I think about how desperate we’ve all been to see ourselves as characters - nuanced characters that feel like real people, not caricatures. The days of the “evil, unhinged schizophrenic” need to be over. We know people with disabilities and mental illnesses are more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators; we have so many studies affirming this. And yet the rest of the world is taking a long time to catch up on this.

Sometimes, you’re 12 years old and you make an edgy OC who wears a straitjacket because they like to stab people, and then you get a little older and you realize that was pretty ableist and you grow and change as a person. That’s normal - you’re learning about the world around you and learning how to be more kind. But if someone who’s out there in the real world explains why something is ableist towards their disability or mental illness, and they provide examples, that’s not the moment you double down and act like you can do no wrong and that everything you’ve written is fine. It’s supposed to be a learning moment for you, a chance to step back and try to do better. And this especially applies to internalized ableism - like I said, so many fandom spaces are heavily neurodivergent, and the internalized ableism I’ve encountered in fandom spaces has grown substantially with the rise of social media. Sometimes the call is coming from inside the house, and we need to be mindful of how we’re portraying people like ourselves, too.

I think it’s a good idea to really try to be aware as we engage with others in fandom spaces and try not to perpetrate harmful stereotypes or portrayals, and becoming more thoughtful and nuanced about how we depict characters is a big part of that. If you’re writing something edgy just for yourself, that’s for you, and you don’t really have to think too hard about it. But if you’re sharing it in a public space, remember that anyone can encounter it, and it might do damage you’re not really thinking about. It’s important to remember that the internet is a public space, too, just like the places we go in real life, and that we should carry ourselves the way we would if we were interacting in person - we need to try to be respectful, and accept feedback and improve things when we accidentally aren’t.

As an extra reminder, here’s a great graphic from Sonny Jane Wise on Instagram that shows just how many things fit under the neurodivergent umbrella:

Please do your best to do no harm, but if you accidentally do, please listen to the people who are being harmed and want to help you do better.

#ableism #tw: ableism #fandom ableism

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windydrawallday · 3 months

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Long-PSA-short of sorts that's more a vent: I was always aware my behavior and way of expressing myself online can surprise many people, especially if they are not used to someone who uses the writing medium as a playful form to tell emotions in a very descriptive way as I do. I'm quite affectionate with words, yes. And I always beg people I hang with personally to let me know if some of that bothers them, curtly of course. So far there have been few instances of individuals confusing those signals with ulterior means, things I assure you there's nothing more than me being friendly and supportive.

Imagine idk an excited dog seeing its owner haha

Until the past week, I found myself being tackled by something that made me almost knock everything aside because it made me realize that probably I'm a walking trigger/squick inducer with even the way I wield words like "love" and "friendship".

Almost...

I'm pretty tolerant of whatever way people conduct themselves in this life, the only moment I flinch is when an individual assumes from my default behavior and presentation that I want to impose my way of life... And nopes.

This is simply how and who I am. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't search for conflict but for understanding. My language for expressing marvel and reflections is like this, never to make the other feel awkward or attacked.

So, it upset me knowing that by wielding this forever welcoming and lovable disposition, I can be something to fear and even despite... to some people.

But, you know? That means that my "love" and "friendship" lifestyle are not made for you, no reason to come back to me and point at it. Just keep walking if you have only rage and rejection to give as a reply to my point of view. Because by wielding rage and rejection, what you only do is burn bridges. To create conflict and assume imaginary antagonistic scenarios where there's nothing of that at all.

You can't create the world you wish to live in by burning bridges.

It took me a lot too to forge who I am right now. I even keep learning and chiseling through traumas and mistakes—kindness and patience taught me more than rage and rejection. And "love" and "friendship" are the bricks I chose to build those bridges. I know everyone else uses different concepts but in the end, we all build bridges. By creating bridges and inviting others to do the same, I expand not only my world, but the other's too!

Isn't that better than demanding to be this or that through a black/white flag of rage and rejection? I think so. And I understand perfectly we sometimes need to be blunt when marking our boundaries. Still, never justifies treating the other bad.

And if some of you find "fake" or distasteful the way I wear this flag of "love" and "friendship" I'm sorry: this place will never be safe for you then. The exit door is always open. Go ahead.

I hope you find your place and flags out there too, but don't forget that to do that you need to build bridges. If you don't want to call it "friendship" call it "glue" or whatever makes you comfortable, but don't kick people like me who fought with claws and teeth to reclaim those words and feelings.

Fight your fight by being a good example, not a bad experience that makes someone never want to deal with something like this again in their life.

"Any color you like, (in the end) they're all blue."

#windy squeals #im so sorry if i end upsetting someone with my point of view #with my expressive way to use words #or my overly dramatic behavior #its all real i swear these are all real #and you dont need to give me back the same level of energy #just be clear af and say what you need because i dont read minds #im tired of being seeing as a clown or be infantilized because of this #or feared like im a sort of vampire that sucks emotions because NO #or that im intolerant to people that dont follow those -normatives because believe me #im too very asocial to certain cues but intead of raging about them #i try to create new rules that fit better my way to navigate life #the only way to achieve what we want is by stating it gently #not setting on fire posibilities to create new connections and points of view #but i guess there will be always be people that prefer to live in a bubble and expect the whole diverse world to mold to them #and i say that as an aroace that used to be intolerant of the normatives that push my boundaries to the edge #but eh sometimes youll fight but most of the times youll need to dodge and learn to avoid bullets #listen if i sound ableist with this whatever i am then #im not perfect #gotta keep reading and relearning and updating my brain ugh

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penncilkid · 5 months

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Alright, so I was over here thinking about various things, which led me down the path of thinking about Damien. As I sat with my thoughts, I was struck by a question: Why is Damien so often headcanoned as a person of color?

And as a person of color, I want to take a closer look at this and talk about it.

Preface: For those who may not be aware, I personally headcanon Damien as Black and Filipino. The entire DAMN crew is Black in one way or another because I wanted them to be. (I am also Black, for reference)

When I think about the reasons why I headcanon Damien as a person of color, it's largely in part because I relate to him and project my lived experiences onto him as a character. Lots of the stereotypes put onto fire elementals have been directed towards me, or I have witnessed directed towards other people of color. So if you were to look at the way he is treated on the basis of being a fire elemental and say "this is why I have this headcanon"? Sure, I can buy into it.

But then what about the vampires?

Vampires are treated poorly in canon as well. If I remember correctly, it's mentioned by Vincent in regards to him attending classes at DAMN. Separate from that, though, they are treated poorly on the basis of being "feeders". (D(a)emons could be thrown into this as well. But I have complex thoughts on some of the popular headcanons, so that's a conversation for another day). It is something that permeates their everyday lived experiences, even if not constantly acknowledged. Yet majority of the fandom regards them as white. It is rare that I see any of the vampires, speaker or otherwise, depicted as anything other pale and/or white. So to me, there isn't a universal correlation of "Canonical discrimination towards a character is regarded as POC coding".

Another argument I could see people having: "I think he's a person of color based on how his mom was treated." Let's unpack this as a concept.

In itself, I love this line of thinking. It's taking various factors into play when coming up with a headcanon, which is always fun to me. But when you examine canon, his mom is discriminated against on the basis of being humanborn. In canon, Lasko is also humanborn. It's a core part of him as a character (so much so that it's also present in the Imperium). Yet, again, he's largely regarded as white. I can count on my hand the amount of non-white Lasko designs I have encountered. And almost all of the people with those designs are POC themselves. If you take this into consideration, being humanborn is not synonymous with being POC coded (at least throughout the fandom). So there isn't any concrete justification of his mom being explicitly regarded as POC. And as such, it no longer influences what Damien could be racially speaking. So again, I ask: Why is he so often headcanoned as a person of color?

Because here's my thing about Damien. There's just as much basis for him to be white, and I would directly cite the way he talks about DAMN as a whole. He has audios with FL in Season 1 as an example, but I think extensively about his more recent audio with Gavin ("Supporting An Incubus"). Throughout that audio, I had one persisting thought. I could lead with "His heart's in the right place" and such. But that doesn't change the fact that yeah, he 100% sounds like a white savior. You could go as far to save he always sounds like one when he talks about DAMN. The only time I've thought otherwise is when I'm actively imagining him as POC, which doesn't change what is presented in canon.

But all of this is so largely ignored by the fandom in favor of other headcanons— A lot them being that he's Black. And when I see how that is paired with widely popular white Lasko headcanons, it rubs me the wrong way. Especially given that canonically, he was scared of Damien at one point (a fact affirmed in several audios). Before anyone tries to say "But it was because—", that doesn't negate or erase context and subtext.

As I said when I made my post in regards to Huxley and Darlin often being headcanoned as specifically Black, I cannot dictate anyone's thoughts/headcanons. That's not the purpose of sharing these thoughts. What I am trying to do is have a conversation about something that I think is worth discussing and examining further. There is no harm in thinking critically about media you enjoy, and that's what I'm striving to do.

Just consider what I'm saying. Please.

#redacted damien #To the people who already saw this in the server: Hi again /lh #I just kept thinking about this and really couldn't ignore how off-putting it was #I adore Damien as a character #He's an important character to me and I relate to him heavily #But I wanna have this conversation too

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renthony · 2 years

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May i ask what types of things were different that you found in intersex vs trans spaces?

I say all the following with the caveat that this has been my personal experience. I don't intend to make "everything is always like this in every trans and/or intersex space" blanket statements. There are perfectly lovely trans spaces, there are intersex spaces with a long way to go. It's not black-and-white. It's complex, and I'm only one person with one person's lived experience.

That said:

The biggest general difference I've experienced between trans spaces and intersex spaces is the fixation on birth assignment.

Trans spaces get a very frustrating laser-focus on "AMAB vs AFAB," even toward nonbinary people, and there's a big trend toward ranking the different "kinds" of transphobia. There's been a lot of discussion around tumblr lately on the topic, but I haven't seen very many people point out that it is extremely, aggressively, inherently intersexist.

There is an entire category of discourse circulating tumblr that seems to boil down to "one sex is more oppressed than the other sex, and we're going to argue endlessly about which one it is. Also there are only two Real Sexes and intersex people are actually part of whatever sex they Look Most Like. No, I don't know what the phallometer is."

Meanwhile, my experience in intersex spaces has been much more, "we really don't care about your AGAB, because it was incorrect and doesn't have any inherent bearing on your biology or lived experiences in the slightest." Far, far fewer assumptions get made about my anatomy in intersex spaces, and I've never felt like I'm being passively ranked according my (assumed) AGAB, unlike in plenty of trans spaces where my AGAB gets treated like it should be on my nametag right beside my pronouns.

I've also seen a major difference in the way dysphoria gets discussed. Any sort of "born in the wrong body" narrative is incredibly alienating to me, because I wasn't born in the wrong body, I was just born in my body. Obviously that narrative is alienating to a lot of trans people as well, but it feels doubly alienating as an intersex person in a way I struggle to articulate.

In general, any sort of "transfemmes experience this sort of body stuff, transmascs experience that sort of body stuff" is alienating. I have a mix of traits and experiences that don't match either binary sex, but people try to use "biology" to cram you into a binary even in trans spaces.

If I ever speak up and talk about ways I relate to transfemme people, suddenly it turns into "shut up, theyfab," and if I talk about ways I relate to transmasc people, I start getting misgendered and crammed into the "transmasc" label against my will. I'm not transmasc or transfemme; I'm intersex and nonbinary, and my AGAB tells you absolutely nothing about my anatomy.

I've had trans guys taking testosterone give me "advice" because they assume I'm on HRT when I'm not. I've had trans women do the exact same thing. Even in trans spaces, it is a persistent problem that people hyper-analyze my body to figure out which binary box to cram it into. This happens even in nonbinary spaces, because "AFAB nonbinary" and "AMAB nonbinary" have been set up as yet another rigid binary, even by other nonbinary people.

In trans spaces, I have the experience of other trans people trying to guess my AGAB based on things like my facial hair or my shoulders or my hips or my feet or my neck width or any of the other tiny minuscule attributes that, to be perfectly honest, are the same things that terfs like to point out when they climb into my comments to call me slurs.

(Notably it seems to be only other white trans people doing this. I have never had a trans PoC do this to me as far as I can recall. So it's worth noting how much of this is specifically grounded in white Eurocentric ideas of gender.)

Basically, trans spaces have a real problem in the way they weaponize AGAB discourse. Intersex spaces, less so. I won't say it never happens, it just seems way less common in my experience.

Though BOY HOWDY is there some rancid discourse in intersex spaces over "what counts" as intersex. But that's another post entirely, and a topic I ain't touchin' with a ten-foot pole.

#original post

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olderthannetfic · 1 year

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This might be a somewhat controversial opinion/rant, but as a black queer woman (i really id myself as being more genderqueer, but since i'm afab there are just things about womanhood growing up that has just stuck with me as formative experiences.), I find it really difficult to build community with queer men, even in fandom. I've tried to have friendships with transmen, but so many just feel the need to ramp up misogyny to 1000 to validate themselves as men, and then with gay men, some will say the most out-of-pocket, misogynistic things but because they're not attracted to women, it's somehow okay, I guess. But lately, there's been this trend among queer men of saying and doing misogynistic things but justifying it by stating they're talking about white, cishet women. But the thing is, there's nothing in what they said that can be specifically applied to only white women. It's a target to all women (I refuse to play the oppression olympics of who has it worse). And now I see other queer women in fandom saying the same things to each other. I typically stay in anime/manga and danmei fanbases because that's where a lot of my interests are now, and I don't have to deal with USAian nonsense as much. But now that 7 Seas has unfortunately decided to translate more danmei into English that's changed. A queer male fan of a popular series has been unfollowed en masse by danmei fans for saying wildly misogynistic things about the author. Everyone all week has been scrambling to figure out where this came from. "He only ever said these things about cishet white women," but you guys... he was always talking about us the whole time. Now, I just don't know. Now I see why men aren't generally welcomed in or are common within romance-genre circles. It's just really frustrating to see the same thing over and over again. I'll add on that the only genuinely cool queer men in fandom I've met have come from yuri circles. The ones who try to talk about BL are, from my experiences, generally misogynistic, toxic, and feel as though everything should center around them because they're men and in BL the characters are men, as well. But when other women don't want to form community with them, they scream about 'homophobia' and 'fetishizing gay men.' No, you're just an annoying, awful person to be around, and the queer male yuri fans didn't want to deal with you either. Has anyone else, or you specifically, dealt with this? Is there a way to become friends with more queer men in BL spaces who aren't... like That? Or are there specific things/patterns to look for as far as who to avoid?

God, so much of this sounds so familiar.

I've known a sad number of trans dudes who overcompensate in dickhead ways. A lot of them do calm down a few years into presenting publicly as male, but it's infuriating to see that crap even if it's temporary.

I will say that two of my close circle of offline friends are trans men, including one who came out during the time we've all been friends. The defensive tomfoolery is in no way inevitable. Both of these dudes are nonwhite and have experience in various other geeky and queer spaces beyond BL (gaming, drag queens, etc.). Maybe that broader perspective helped, or maybe they're just nicer and more mature people than a lot of the little jerkfaces I run across online.

TBH, I often have better luck in offline meetups because to show up at all, people have to be a little more comfortable with getting along with others and behaving themselves. It's also sometimes easier to detect the people you want to back away from slowly when you can see how they treat people in person.

One of my neighbors is a cis gay guy. White, able bodied, middle class, yadda yadda. Exactly the demographic you'd expect to be the worst in certain spaces. He and his partner have lots of queer friends, and plenty of them aren't fellow cis gay guys, which is basically my litmus test for non-annoying cis gay guys offline. (Toxic cis gay dude culture is its own kettle of fish with a different set of issues than defensive trans boy culture, but I've encountered it plenty too.)

This neighbor is interested in geikomi and was delighted to find out I'm a fellow nerd and eager for all my nonfiction book recs about queer Japanese stuff. We don't necessarily overlap in our manga tastes, but there's still a lot we do share. When I ramble on about how AFAB queer people and/or bisexuals study history that's presented as cis gay men's history because that's all we have for most historical periods, he's like "Yeah, that makes total sense!" and not "Mine and not yours!"

I think the key here is that this is a dude who is secure in his identity, who's getting both his media and queer community needs met, and who's in his 40s, so he has some god damn perspective and doesn't need to pretend BL is aimed at him.

A lot of the little jerkfaces make me think "Did your preschool teacher not teach you how to share your toys?"

To be honest, there seem to be plenty of dudes hanging around my tumblr. A few cis. Many trans. But they're not going to bring it up incessantly in some defensive "you know I'm not a cootie-having girl, right?" way because who does that?

It comes up when there's a discussion about trans shit or BL as #ownvoices or whatever. (And, in general, any dude worth hanging out with will not think BL as an industry is, or should be, anything of the sort—even if he's expressing his own sense of queerness by writing some.)

On the flipside, I have seen some pretty extreme "no boys allowed" clubhouse nonsense in fandom. It's less common than it was, and past shitty dudes have often been the inspiration, but it can still be a bit much. The nicer class of fandom dude is often pretty hesitant in certain spaces because he's expecting to be met with hostility and is trying to figure out how to participate without tromping all over everyone. (TBH, the guys worrying about this are rarely the problem, but you know how it is.)

I've had dudes send me private messages being like "this thing you said seems kind of stereotypical and anti-man", but in the adult capable of conversation way, not in the tantruming 5-year-old way. And we had a conversation, and they stuck around.

I think having a very clear "It's not #ownvoices, fuck off" stance deters a lot of the more pestilential set. Being equally clear that everyone is welcome and that male yuri fans and female BL fans are pretty equivalent makes the guys worth knowing come out of the woodwork.

In 99% of spaces, I do not give a fuck if some man has his precious feelings hurt by a double standard or default suspicion of men... But fandom is a little unusual because of the demographics and relative power here being so different from in most spaces.

I've definitely seen some people who think women liking BL are fine because we care about characters' personalities, while male fans are all predators or all write f/f that is just fetishy porn or m/m that sounds like Nifty.org and not other fanfic or whatever.

And, yeah, I'll shut down the dumbasses crying in my inbox because I made a joke about Nifty and "coke can dicks" (the kind of guys who have clearly never read m/m that's aimed at dudes outside of fandom spaces), but at the same time, we should extend a little benefit of the doubt to our fellow fandom members of whatever gender. There are usually plenty of men facepalming right along with me at these inexperienced young fools who cannot bear to share.

I think you're just running into the problem that the loud people whose identities you know are often using those identities to browbeat other fans on social media.

There are fewer men in BL spaces than women or nonbinary people, so one will typically end up knowing fewer men.

Honestly, I think you find the reasonable people and get rid of the unreasonable ones in the same way regardless of gender: Gatekeeping bullshit is a red flag. Very Online understandings of oppression are a red flag. Enthusiastic and clueless blanket endorsement of own voices as a concept is a red flag. Lots of talking about "fetishization" or even "appropriation" in a very online way is a massive red flag. Monetizing fanfic or seeing other pro authors as competition instead of peers is another. (Professional jealousy and fear about earning potential are behind a lot of bad behavior.)

A lot of it is down to whether you're willing to make yourself a target by publicly telling annoying people to fuck off.

If others can tell what you stand for, they can figure out if they want to hang out with you. Most people keep their heads down a lot of the time, so it can be hard to even hear of them, let alone know if they're your sort of person.

tl;dr – Be nice to nice men. Tell shitty men to take a hike. Making friends with men is really as simple as that.

There are larger issues here with what kinds of queer spaces exist and whom they prioritize and with toxic understandings of what representation even means and what should be demanded of whose art. But as you say, a lot of women are also promoting toxic-ass understandings of these things.

The bottom line is that we must resist social media clout-driven understandings of justice. The loudest assholes in the room are rarely worth listening to.

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frostyyyroyalmilktea · 1 year

Text

Nevermore Student!Tyler x Thorpe!Reader pt 3

pt 1 pt 4 ao3

This is smaller than previous chapters but it's finals week so I most likely won't be able to update this week. Have this little treat while I struggle with my master's

(ಥ﹏ಥ)

***

Monday morning starts as most Monday mornings do. Way too early. It might’ve not been so awful if you haven’t spent most of the night lying awake, overanalyzing every little thing you said and did last night. But what else could you do? Last night was the most surreal experience of your life, and now you’re kind of afraid it was all just a very vivid dream. But you know it wasn’t. Deep down you feel the tug of this odd new bond. You want to see Tyler. Make sure he’s okay. He looked so worried and unsure yesterday, you wanted to do something—anything—to snap him out of that state. Thinking under pressure is not your strongest suit, let’s be honest. You just hope he wasn’t weirded out by your affections.

So there you are: groggy, anxious, and desperate to wrap yourself in a blanket burrito and wallow in your woes. Ugh, that’s how you usually imagine Xavier’s pastime.

Bianca is one of them morning people—you can’t relate—so by the time you drag your miserable form out of bed, she’s already dressed and almost done with her makeup.

You take a shower, blow dry your hair, and steam your uniform. All under thirty minutes time—because you’re a virtuoso of the fine art of being late without actually being late.

Nevermore allows minimal alterations to the uniforms as long as they don’t contradict the overall sense of integrity. Most people don’t bother, preferring to simply accessorize, but that’s no fun so you had the blazer tailored to button asymmetrically. You pair it with a white silk blouse and wide-leg velvet pants. It’s not exactly in compliance with uniform regulations, but you doubt someone will actually notice and you want to look cute. You opt for classical black Derbys to complete the look and as a jest, decide to take the bag that Xavier gave you as a gift a few Christmases ago. It’s a sizable Jigglypuff plushie bag with a long strap. Surprisingly, it can fit quite a lot. So you pack a blank notebook, a few pens and highlighters, and head out for the day.

The dining hall is in utter chaos. You thought it was busy yesterday morning, but it seems that at least a third of the residents must’ve slept in on Sunday because right now it’s completely topsy-turvy.

The buffet area resembles a warzone and you can’t even see the cereal because of all the people crowding the stand. You skip it altogether and decide that a strong cup of green tea will have to get you through until lunch. You’ll have to wake up earlier from now on to be able to grab breakfast before the rush starts. Fuuuck.

You’re anxiously approaching the far corner table because the possibility that after he had time to sleep on it Tyler decided that you are in fact a grade-A weirdo seems all too real to your sleep-deprived brain. So yeah, you aren’t 100% sure he won’t file for a restriction order, but you try to be optimistic.

You plop your ass on the chair near Tyler’s and announce with way more confidence than you feel: “Good morning sunshine.”

You’ve already started this weird game so you refuse to quit now.

Tyler looks up and his tense frown is immediately replaced by a beaming smile.

Your heart does a cartwheel.

“Morning,” he says. He clearly got there earlier than the avalanche of teenagers went down on the buffet, because he has a delicious-looking plate of scramble in front of him and a steaming cup of coffee. Not something you personally would go for this early in the morning, but you’re jealous nonetheless. “The Fruit Loops were long gone by the time I got here, but I managed to grab you a Snickers,” he says shyly, extending you the candy bar. It's a bit mangled but otherwise intact. “You don’t seem like an English breakfast kind of gal to me,” he adds.

This is literally the cutest shit ever, you think, while your face is doing things of the blushing and grinning variety that you have absolutely no control of.

“You’re literally an angel,” you inform him with all seriousness. “I saw the carnage that was going on out there and decided to grab some tea and get the hell out while I still had all my limbs about me. Like, I’m a lover, not a fighter. Especially not this early in the morning.”

Tyler laughs, “Some guy was actually ready to throw hands with me for the Snickers until he saw that I was… well, me. He looked like was about to piss his pants in fear.”

Tyler says it in good humor but it kind of cuts you unpleasantly, that people are afraid of him like that. All you see when you look at him is warmth and kindness. How do people miss it?

You notice a familiar head of curls stumbling through the dining hall, looking like he might get trampled any second now.

“Gimme a sec,” you say to Tyler and head out to retrieve the little lost pumpkin.

“Eugene, my dude, how are you this fine morning?” You grab his upper arm to steady him after someone bumps into him once again. “Do you have a place to sit?”

“Not really,” he says timidly. “I don’t do well in crowded spaces.”

“Yeah, me either, buddy. Me and my friend Tyler,” you gesture in his vague direction, “sit in the corner there. Care to join us?”

Eugene eyes the table behind you apprehensively, but then, as if he decided something for himself, straightens up and says, “Sure. Thank you, y/n.”

“No probs.”

You lead him to the table and introduce each of them. “Eugene – Tyler, Tyler – Eugene.”

Tyler looks tense. “Hey,” he waves weakly, without looking Eugene in the eyes. His shoulders are hunched like he’s trying to curl in on himself.

“Hi,” Eugene gives him a small smile.

You’re not sure what’s the story here so you ask carefully, “Do you guys know each other?”

“I almost killed him last semester,” Tyler says gravely.

You look at Eugene, but he seems pretty determined when he says, “Yeah, but he didn’t.”

You sit down and Eugene takes the seat next to you, facing Tyler. “I read your letter,” he says. “Thank you for writing it and, you know, fighting Thornhill's command to kill me.”

What the fuck?

Tyler looks up at him, “I still landed you in hospital for over a month.”

“It’s still worth a lot that you tried, Tyler.”

Granted you’ve only talked to the guy twice, but you would’ve never expected to see Eugene so serious and confident.

“So,” Eugene extends his hand. “Fresh start?”

Tyler looks shell-shocked.

“Yeah, fresh start,” he takes the proffered hand. “Thank you.”

Eugene is back to normal—at least what you perceive as his normal—in a jiff, while Tyler seems to be lost in his thoughts so you decide to give him some time and turn your attention to Eugene.

“So I gave some thought to your proposal,” you start.

Eugene lights up with excitement.

“And I came to the conclusion that bees still irrevocably frighten me.”

Eugene’s face falls.

“Buuut, my sweet little pumpkin, fret not, I would still like to join.”

Eugene beams and Tyler, who emerged from his thoughts to join the conversation, looks between you two in amusement as you start explaining to Eugene that you want to make an Etsy store where he can sell the honey and donate the profits to the Bee-related charity of his choice.

“Of course, we’ll have to run it by Weems because there’s money involved in the matter, but I reckon as long as we donate it, she’ll be cool with it.”

“Do you think people will actually want to buy it?” Eugene asks hesitantly.

“We’ll make them want to buy it, my sweet summer child,” you assure him. “We’ll make a Tiktok account—I was thinking something like ‘Eugene’s Bees’, it has a nice ring to it—and we’ll make educational videos with, like, fun twists to them. The orders will start rolling in no time.”

“You’re like really into this,” Tyler remarks softly.

He smiles with one of those smiles that reaches his eyes and you completely lose your train of thought.

“Well, yeah, once I’m into something,” or someone, you don’t add, “it’s near impossible to throw me off.”

“Hm,” is all he replies, smiling mysteriously.

Eugene has to take off earlier to check on bees before class, so it’s just you and Tyler once again.

“You’re so ardent about this whole thing,” Tyler says. “It’s cool seeing you in your element, talking social media strategy. Very… attractive.”

You choke on a bit of Snickers you so unwisely bit off just a second ago.

“I’m very,” you cough out, “passionate about many things.”

Tyler smirks.

Oh God, did you just unwittingly make an innuendo? Shit, you didn’t even mean it like that!

You take a sip of tea as a measure to prevent words from leaving your mouth. You clearly need a moment to reestablish brain-to-mouth connection.

“Listen, I was thinking…” Tyler starts.

And doesn’t continue.

A pause stretches out.

In the end, your curiosity outweighs the fear of saying something dumb.

“Yeah?” You prompt.

“We should exchange phone numbers,” he says hastily, and you have a feeling he was going to say something else but changed his mind at the last moment.

“Oh. Yeah, sure,” you pull out your phone.

“Is that a flip phone?” Tyler asks, sounding almost in awe.

“It’s Galaxy flip,” you smile, showing him the folding screen. “My dad did a commercial for Samsung a few months ago and they gave him a few of these. They’re not very practical, but they are super cute and you can wear charms on them,” you jiggle the little Hello Kitty charm to draw his eyes to it. “I also like to put different stickers on the case and-”

Tyler catches the charm in his fingers to take a closer look. His hand brushes yours and you freeze mid-sentence, not able to remember how to take a breath.

You’re not usually that awkward around boys. You’ve met Timothee Chalamet once, for crying out loud! And you were very chill about it and told him he was great in Dune. Why is it that around Tyler you turn into a bumbling mess who talks—and what’s more worrying acts—before forming a cohesive thought?

“Y/n?” Tyler looks at you expectantly, extending his hand.

“Right!” You pass him the phone, almost dropping it in the process.

He punches in the numbers but leaves the field ‘contact name’ empty. You stare at it dumbly while he takes out his phone.

You type in Ty and after a moment's deliberation add a heart emoji. It’s just cute, it doesn’t have to mean anything, you tell yourself like a lying liar who lies.

Tyler hands you his phone. It’s a beat-up iPhone 7. The screen is cracked so badly, you can hardly see anything on the lower part. You’re afraid it might give up on its clearly long-suffering existence if you as much as breathe at it wrong.

Tyler senses your apprehension and says, “Those late-night strolls in the woods did not work out all that great for it.”

He sounds embarrassed and you don’t know if it's because the strolls in the woods are a thing in the first place, or is it because he can’t afford a new phone. Either way, you feel like shit for drawing attention to it.

You put in your number, leaving the ‘contact name’ field empty as well. “There you go.”

“Right,” he says, “yeah, umm, good. I gotta go now, but I’ll see you around, yeah?”

“Of course,” you smile sunnily.

Why is he so nervous all of a sudden?

He gets up, grabs his backpack, and then leans in and kisses you on the cheek.

“Have a great first day, y/n,” he says and then promptly blasts out of the dining hall at a speed that you’re sure is not entirely human.

You hear Bianca's rambunctious laughter and turn to look at their table. You see her double down from laughing so hard, eyes on your brother who’s currently gripping a butter knife like he wants to commit manslaughter with it.

You’re probably gonna laugh your ass off about it too. But not right now. Right now you just sit there with the most ridiculous grin on your face thinking oh how the turn tables.

***

Author’s note: the turn tables thing is from The Office

Btw, on ao3 every chapter is named after a song so if you’d like to hear what I listen to when I write, come check it out!

#tyler galpin #tyler galpin x reader #tyler galpin imagine #thorpe!reader #wednesday

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swimmingwithfish · 1 year

Text

XO, Kitty and the start of the queer character evolution.

(Spoilers for XO Kitty Below!)

I’m always one for teen dramas. It’s a guilty pleasure that I take much delight in. Classic rom-coms like 10 Things I Hate About You and Clueless have always been my favourites. But to me, they always felt too straight. Too much heteronormative things and none of the queer rep I always wanted, even in more modern films and TV Shows in the genre.

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before has always been one of my favourtie movies, so, when I found out about the spin off series XO, Kitty, I was ecstatic. Kitty had always been a character I resonated with and I loved all of Jenny Han’s other work.

Going into it, I expected the classic two boys fighting over one girl love triangle, a gay best friend and the girl best friend that I always seem to ship the main character with. I had predicted most of the story from the start. Until.

XO, Kitty is far from the ‘girl meets boy’ I was familiar with. It’s a queer love story and a coming out story and a self-discovery story. Definitely not the black and white romance i thought it would follow.

We have Q, the GBF, who is far from the feminine male sterotype you see in teen TV. He doesn’t give Kitty fashion advice and makeovers (which isn’t a bad thing btw), but a jock, the atheltic scholarship kid, who sure, does know a good dress when he sees one, but takes on a character that’s still such a worthy queer person without having to fall into the feminine sterotype.

Then we have Yuri, the Korean ‘it’ girl, also the girl best friend. She’s not the bimbo pick me girl you think she might me. She’s complex and interesting and she’s gay. Her storyline is something you don’t see often, and they really delve into the struggles of what it’s like being queer in a place and family where you’re not allowed to. Her journey is beautiful and powerful and reflects the coming out struggle in such an honest way, without making her story as a queer person just about coming out. She says the line ‘I have to live a fake life just so you’ll keep loving me’, when coming out to her mum and that encompassed so much of my current queer experience, especially as a person of colour. I think that it was for me, a sort of ‘Hey! we’re in the same boat’ thing and really made me feel so much more seen. She’s a well developed queer character that isn’t reduced to a ‘placed there just for representation’ character.

And we have Kitty herself. The main character. I honestly did not expect Netflix and the producers to go in this direction, but Kitty is queer. At first, I didn’t know if they were just sorta doing it for the sake of it. It didn’t feel like a deliberate decision. Maybe more of a thought that crosses her mind during the show. But Kitty has a crush on Yuri, and the way they address it is so different. They don’t exactly show that coming out to yourself thought process (which I kind of wish they did), rather, Kitty likes Yuri and she just accepts that, which I think is cool. I like now we don’t always need this big revelation moments (although, they’re still cool), but I think it shows the progression of how we treat queer characters as not spectacles for the audience, but just, people. Kitty’s crush on Yuri also felt very resemblant to my own crush on my friend which was probably why I related to her so much but just in general, it felt so natural to just have a queer main character in a non-queer focused show. Like, this wasn’t Hearstopper. No one expected it to be, yet, here we are, and I’m so happy about that.

This evolution into organically created queer characters is something we defnintely need more of and I’m so glad that Netflix is taking the step to do so. ALTHOUGH I REALLY HOPE THIS IS NOT BECAUSE THEY’RE TRYING TO GET REDEMPTION FOR CANCELLING ALL THE OTHER SAPPHIC SHOWS.

I also feel like though, that Jenny Han is just like a great person because whenever it’s her books being adapted, there’s always this like ‘organic queerness’. Like, in The Summer I Turned Pretty, there’s this guy Jeremiah, who in her book is presented as this straight guy, but in the show he just like kisses some guy and it was a dileberate from of causal representation (if that’s even a thing). Like kissing that guy didn’t add to the plot, but it wasn’t queerbaiting either because (well for me personally) I felt like the directors were like ‘This is Jeremiah. He’s queer, and he’s a main love interest’ and being queer didn’t like shatter the earth around him, it was just a part of him, as it is for all queer people.

But XO, Kitty itself aside from Kitty and Yuri is so good (maybe because I’m a sucker for these things), but everything about it just makes me squeal. I feel like teen TV is taking a turn in terms of creating realistic characters. And while we still have a long way to go (GENDER DIVERSE AND CULTURALLY DIVERSE PEOPLE!!!! CMON NETFLIX), XO, Kitty feels like a really big win for queer (and especially QPOC) people.

#xo kitty #kitty song covey #queer #lgbtq #representation #@netflix #watch xo kitty #its so good #im obsessed #rant

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djuvlipen · 10 months

Note

Why is it so acceptable to be racist to Roma? Even some of the most progressive white people I’ve met (not the Twitter account being called out) proudly say racist things about Roma.

Everyone acts like I’m silly and naive when I confront them.

https://twitter.com/transiamagick/status/1684176611107819521

Yeah, I've seen that tweet and heard of that misandristlana user... she is popular on radtwt and, if I recall, British. Her account was recently suspended, apparently. It's very disheartening because my of the reactions were in support of her, tweets saying "she is right though" or implying it's libfem behaviour to call her out. Unfortunately I am not at all surprised by this because, as you said, the mere idea of not being racist toward Roma is completely unfathomable to Europeans. White Europeans are ready to accept Black people having *some* civil rights, Arab people having *some* rights, Asian people having *some* rights, but the minute you say that Roma should have rights too they lose their minds. Their idea of antiracism doesn't extend to Roma and whenever I hear Europeans talk about "Romani antiracism" they always treat it as a joke or they get upset because a movement like that would really show that "the woke movement has gone too far". Once a Romani boy from my country called out anti-Roma racism on Twitter and some guys replied with "fuck even the Gypsies are woke now". They always react like that.

It's even more annoying when it comes from people of colour. I thought misandristlana was white at first too but I have since heard that she is actually Afghan. I don't know if she ever claimed to be antiracist or anything. Once again I am not even that surprised that a woman of colour would be racist against Roma because many Europeans of colour are racist against Roma. In my country there is absolutely no Romani rights movement. The antiracist movement is a coalition of different groups of people of colour (black, mena, asian) working together but those groups never work with Roma and never even talk about Roma. That may be an urban legend so don't quote me on this but a Romani woman once told me Roma were even excluded from some antiracist groups. Myself and another Romani feminist I know have also felt uneasy in feminist antiracist groups. Not that we are uncomfortable per se, it is just that everyone (including ourselves) feel like we don't belong in the global antiracist movement because antiracist activists never thought about discussing Romani issues, working with Roma, and sometimes they even perpetuate anti-Roma racism too.

It's because no one cares about discussing anti-Roma racism because everyone thinks we deserve it. When you ever speak out against anti-Roma racism people treat you like a joke. In fact people love joking about the racism we experience, because they don't take it seriously. You can see that everyday on the internet whenever a Romani person talks about racism and the Americans jump in the replies to say "lol europeans are so hitler lmaooo". Roma aren't laughing though

#roma #asks #anon

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wyn-n-tonic · 2 years

Text

Some things to consider if you are donating hygiene products to shelters/food banks (if you have the means):

Unscented soap for sensitive skin. (Dove and Ivory are so good for this but I know there are store brands).

Unscented lotion! Lotion isn't a very highly donated product and, when it is, it tends to be very fragrant. This is a problem because fragrant lotions contain a lot of alcohol in them which in turn dries the skin out and is not very good for people with sensitive skin or skin issues and is definitely an issue for houseless people who are more exposed to the elements outside.

Body/deodorant wipes.

Deodorant sticks and sprays.

Regular chapstick. Burt's Bees contains beeswax and Carmex/Blistex are medicated, all can make chapped lips worse and you can actually develop an allergy to their ingredients.

Adult diapers. People donate baby diapers and they donate feminine hygiene products but donations of adult diapers are few and far between and shelters/food banks see a lot of traffic from new, healing mothers or older children with developmental disabilities or elderly members of our population.

First aid kits.

Activities for kids (cheap coloring books and some crayon packs, fidget toys, little puzzles). It may seem silly to some but I once got to tell a mom that I included some little age appropriate toys for her kiddos and I will think about her reaction and the hug she gave me for the rest of my life.

Blankets. Little fleecey throw blankets are so important and are, unfortunately, the difference between life and death during these colder months.

Underwear and socks. I have had people tell me that they don't want to donate underwear because they feel like it's creepy. It's not creepy. These are basic necessities and they are often times hardly donated and asking for help at all is hard but asking for more personal items like underwear can be downright embarrassing. Especially when it's not available. People are less likely to ask in the future when that happens (especially if treated or looked at judgmentally when they ask).

Hair products for different hair types. A lot of these organizations serve minority populations in our communities because the system has been set up to keep non-white people down and in poverty (anybody can experience poverty but, please remember that systemic racism plays a huge role in why these services are desperately needed and horribly underfunded). Hair products like shampoo and conditioner are donated but it's 99.9% of the time going to be very cheap products that aren't good for any hair type but definitely are not good for people with coarse hair or curly/kinky hair. If you have the means, please consider donating some products specifically formulated for Black hair. I am not somebody who needs those products so I don't have much knowledge into the brands that are actually good. So I do encourage anybody who can help with a list of products they'd recommend to reblog this and add those items on.

And if all of that is just too overwhelming of a list but you would like to do something, call around to some local schools and ask if they have some lunch debt you can pay off for some babies. If you want to go further, ask if you can put some money on the books for some of the kids so that they can have a hot meal because, unfortunately, school lunches are often times the only time some of these babies have a hot meal. And having to do that at all is a failure of our society and government that desperately needs to be fixed but if we can help ease the burden of struggling parents on the road to that goal, then I think we should do that because it really does take a village but the extreme individualism mindset of this country has left so many people behind.

#signed - your friendly neighborhood social worker #god i don't even know what to tag this as #but if my cool ass followers could reblog this and help spread the word i'll love you forever

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uninformedartist · 1 year

Text

The way Velvette is portrayed in Hazbin Hotel doesn't sit well with me.

To preface I am a fan of Hazbin Hotel and am looking forward to the show so-so. I want to clarify I mean no hate to Viv and her team, she has a creative mind even though her design choices are sometimes lacking to me. But this has been on my mind for a while especially as a poc.

Velvette has been a character ive enjoyed for the the longest time since her debut in the pilot. Even though her quick appearance she drew my attention for an unknow reason but she's just ah I love her. When I found out she was a poc and was into alternative fashion it drew me more to her as growing up I couldn't express myself in such clothes as it didn't suite my skin tone enough. Was never white enough or coloured enough (thats my race). I told my sister how I liked Velvette and she said she doesn't because of how she looks and it made me think. Velvette in all my relating to her lacks the representation I hoped she'd give others like she did me but she doesn't. Viv as much as I like her designs, underdesigned Velvette. She lacks poc features, what I mean by this is her skin tone mostly. I know she's a demon but I've see so many dark skinned monsters, demons, creatures that far surpasses Velvette. Her skin tone is this light brown- grey colour dispite being a black woman in her pitch bible (yes I saw it and I know lighter skinned black people exist but even so Velvette is so racially ambiguous point blank like many of Vivziepop's po characters and plus, her skin tone isn't even really a skin tone, its giving anime "dark/brown skin tones"), its lackluster actually and I wished it were different because I'm sure Viv has black/dark skinned design members on her team but no input from them was added to Velvette's design. Viv I understand is a poc but she is like me a lighter skinned poc, I myself have a difficult time drawing darker skinned characters and I know how Viv doesn't leave her comfort zone of character traits so it leaked into Velvette being such an under respresentation to black people/ dark skinned people. Her hair is also my end, Viv in all my years of following her has never experimented with poc hair textures/styles. It took so much more away from Velvette as a black woman with the hair style/texture she has now (I know black woman or woc can have straight hair but due to the embrace of more natural hair textures it would've been beautiful to see Velvette with a more natural hair texture). AGAIN Viv should've reached out to other designers for their input on her but no, its Viv's "character" (even though she doesn't technically own it anymore) and nobody can make such changes as its not in her vision/comfort zone.

Another thing I want to add is Viv's problem infantailising certain characters. I've seen it with Angel Dust, Niffty, Stolas and now Velvette and its not sitting well with me.

According to Velvette's pitch bible she is a 30 year old black woman, a *grown adult* who is also in the adult industry, cool.

This is a post by one of Vivziepop's staff members Sam, who also happens to be one of Vivziepop's closest friends too. They made a post comparing Velvette's to a certain character dynamic:

What the hell were they thinking. VELVETTE IS A 30 YEAR OLD BLACK WOMAN WHO WORKS IN THE PORN INDUSTRY AND YOU ARE COMPARING HER TO A PARENT/CHILD DYNAMIC!

TW:

She is involved in the adult industry along with Vox and Val. Valentino is shown to be a misogynistic man who is abusive, a rápist and much more, Vox similar. Velvette being involved with them isn't my issue, she's not a good person ha hell she probably condones their actions as she's an antagonist like them. The problem is I've seen Viv doesn't know the difference between a childish adult character and an adult character who is treated like a child and extention encouraged to be treated like one. Velvette has a childish fun personality thats all, that gives no reason to why she is treated like Vox and Valentino's child, SHE'S 30!

Fans and critics have pointed out how they keep seeing this problem how Viv portrays her characters. It creates a breeding ground for the fetishsization of these characters in a disgusting way. The amout of art I've seen depicting Velvette as their child is disturbing and TW: the amount of lòli art I have seen of her on unsavoury websites is just... I cannot. Just because of her personality she is being treated and seen as a child. I will not go into how woman of colour when reaching a certain age of development are not seen as children anymore even when they still are (we'll be here all day, its boils my blood I hate) but what Viv is doing is not right either. Strips away Velvette's agency especially as a black woman like Viv/team really should've thought before encouraging the infantailisation of her and such art posts as above.

In conclusion (since I lost my 1st draft aaah not typing that long again). Velvette is a good example to me of a poc character with lost potential. Viv had the power and choice to allow other poc creatives to give their input on her but simply didn't. She holds on to these characters so dearly and I understand she doesn't want to loose them, they are like her children. But they aren't anymore, she needed to let them be changed into their best version but alas no. Viv whether she likes it or not is in the mainstream now thanks to partnering with A24.

The audience has changed, we want to see better representation in media: various skin tones, sexualities, different body types, hair textures, even disabilities. Viv as a bisexual woc had the opportunity to give us so much more but didn't even knowing thats what audiences seek, like Velvette for example that's what I seeked and thought I saw but my rose tinted glasses got taken off by my sister and I saw what I saw wasn't all that.

You have the capabilities Viv, you have the resources, you have everything layed out in front of you to give us this why did you not, the boundaries were not pushed. Brake from your comfort zone, seek others inputs and criticism because if you go on like this you may fail. I've followed you for the longest time but not many times have you experimented with different body types, various skin tones and hair textures... no comment. I'll still support Viv's work and decide if I'll still be invested in it after Hazbin drops but I'm cautiously optimistic right now. Only wishing more grown for Viv, peace.

#vivziepop criticism #vivziepop critical #hazbin hotel velvet #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel critique #hazbin hotel critical

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raayllum · 2 years

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I feel like the owl house fandom takes things way too srsly esp with ships and preferences on characters. idk I love hunter and amity's backstory and I love luz but I'm more interested in hunter and amity's backstory that doesn't make me racist their storylines are more interesting

So this probably won't be what you expected or asked for but I'm grabbing the opportunity anyway to address some of the ways I think TOH falters from a Storytelling perspective and why I think those issues (as well as how young a lot of the fans are, although when I was 11-13 in fandom I was much more chill and "live and let live" so just shows what a decade can do in terms of fan community) unintentionally perpetuate some of what you mention.

Also don't think you're racist for preferring Amity and Hunter (Hunter, Gus, and Luz are my faves) but I do think TOH has some issues with how it handles its characters of colour, so I am going to touch on that. While I'm white. this is reflected on / verbatim from conversations I've had with Black and Asian friends / fans of the show and how racial stuff can tend to play out in fandom (circa 2013 onwards from personal experience of how people have treated fave characters, like Finn from Star Wars, in the past).

That said, I do still like the show. I love the strong found family, everything surrounding Eda and her allegories for mental health are super solid and important, I'm thrilled by the queer rep (I’m queer & watched Korrasami happen live), and I don't think a show has to be perfect or to check off my personal preference to be good. But I do think the show is... an interesting mixed bag for a few key reasons I haven't seen anyone talk about, so here they are.

Under a read more bc this gets long, like, real long, even though there’s only four things on this freaking list, LMAO. For whoever reads it, have fun!

1. The Owl House writes like first impressions don't matter.

This is one of the biggest things in the show that breaks elements of setup + payoff. After all, if your setup is misleading or unaddressed by payoff later, characters and plot lines may come across as stilted. This also ties into other areas (such as screentime) that I'll touch on later.

By far the character who has broken setup the most, though, is Amity. For example, Amity is introduced as someone who has bullied Willow for years, even when no one else is around (i.e. it's not a pure performance), and even though they used to be friends when they were young. Their friendship fall out / Amity distancing herself from Willow is explained by Amity being forced to by her parents, and understandably struggling with how to deal with and explain it as a child.

I haven't seen the last few episodes of S2 (aka I got up to "Hollow Mind") and I was disappointed in S2A when it seemed like this plot element would never be addressed again. So I was very pleased to learn that there is an episode in S2B that talks about their friendship. Except... it doesn't address the bullying. Because yes, Amity tried to protect Willow by distancing herself... but Amity also didn’t need to Bully Willow, like, at all. Not within the confines of the story and not within the landscape of the character; her parents didn’t tell her to be cruel to Willow. She chose to do that. Repeatedly. And that facet of their bond... has never been adequately addressed. It could be, in the future (but I personally doubt it).

It’s particularly strange, because Luz was 1) canonically bullied in the human realm and 2) perpetually struggled at making friends. It makes sense that she’d be extra against bullies and protective over the friends she does have, and wanting to see real change before bonding with a practical stranger (even if Amity did show a slightly nicer side at the end of “Covention,” it wasn’t an even ratio whatsoever, either of her niceness or Luz’s meanness). But we’ll circle back to this.

We see this issue of initially bad behaviour being overruled, sometimes retconned, or ignored to the point of being rewritten a few more times in the series.

The one that ties into Amity’s character are her siblings. In their debut episode, they have plans to share private pages of their little sister’s diary. This is mentioned in another episode as something they’re trying to make up for, but they weren’t there when shit hit the fan at the library, anyway. So we never see 1) why they were going to be so cruel to Amity in the first place (and I have siblings myself, so no, it’s not a sibling thing, or just a sibling thing), 2) what exactly made them change their mind, and 3) this type of behaviour never reappears or is addressed in the show, either. While Luz gets called a bully for it, the twins get off basically scot free. Yes, they’re obviously affected by their mother, too, but there’s never even a whiff or a hint about why they felt the need to humiliate Amity on a public scale besides thinking she was uptight.

We see this one more time with Darius, which was the most baffling and completely jarred me the first time I watched it. Darius was being cruel and dismissive to Hunter, but warms up when he realizes the kid does have a spine and will stand up for what he believes this. This is not the heart warming moment or message the show seems to think it is. All I heard and saw was an adult going “Oh, this kid is too indoctrinated and abused to be worthwhile until he proves otherwise, I’ll treat him like trash and ignore that I’m exacerbating his symptoms of abuse until then.” And no matter what comes latter, this is a downright weird set up, emotionally.

I’m not saying that none of these characters can be set up this way, but the introduction and how different they are in all other preceding episodes — or even when information is given to re-contextualize certain things — feels like whiplash. So the setup is a little weird, making pay off either non existent or unnecessary. This stumbling block makes the emotional continuity feel disjointed too, in some aspects. The way this affects emotional continuity can best be seen in Gus, Willow, and Luz’s friendship — but again, more that later.

As for set up and pay off, it can lead to missed opportunities, namely: why the hell was Amity Lilith’s protege in Convention? Again, not saying the show is bad or this is a bad writing choice, but it’s a weird one. I remember watching that episode, seeing Amity be introduced as Lilith’s pseudo apprentice, and being excited. It meant Lilith-Eda, Luz-Amity, and possibly the two menor-mentee relationships could all be developed simultaneously! It’d be interesting to see the parallels and differences.

At the very least, it would give a personal stake to Amity and Luz’s possible developing bond, with Lilith at the very least going to disapprove, and give Amity and Luz a chance to compete against each other and to see that progression.

Then it was never addressed again. And it wasn’t set up as a “one day thing” either. It seems that Lilith possibly tutored Amity for months, maybe even years, for Amity to be considered her “strongest protege” (exact line). So we miss out on that possible, episodic but still connected plot line (especially because after Convention, we never see Amity caring a whole lot about actual school, even though that as her whole thing in her intro and second episode). Then, even when Amity and Lilith are back on the same side (imagine how interesting exploring that fracturing could’ve been!) they... never interact, never mention, and never act like they know each other.

They’re two characters with the same theme and similar arcs split down the middle, have an interesting setup, and it goes.... Nowhere.

Because first impressions don’t matter in the show, which is particularly weird, as typically 1) what you set up in the very beginning of the show is what you want the audience to be invested in, and 2) the audience is going to / has to pay more attention in the beginning of a show because they’re actively trying to learn the rules of the world and character dynamics / personalities.

And it’s not the only time TOH does this, so let’s talk about

2. Screentime, Race, and Chosen Diaspora

Specifically that Gus and Willow barely get any, and how this ties into race. So I’ve touched on this before in an article I wrote on Vocal where I share meta-adjacent stuff that doesn’t fit my tumblr vibe, so if for some reason this is your thing, they may be other stuff you enjoy on there, whatever. I’m not gonna repeat myself too much here, but basically:

The majority of the Owl House cast is white, particularly when it comes to who matters in the plot. Eda, Lilith, and their family are all white. Hooty and King exist in what we’re going to call an aracial space, as they don’t have race and aren’t coded as any particular thing, either; just tried and true demons. Hunter is white; Belos is white. Gus and Willow are regulated to background characters and most of the time when Willow is being developed as a character (“Understanding Willow,” “Any Sport in a Storm”) it’s typically also used to further a white character’s growth of... learning to treat her better? Gus fares a bit better, but gets less screentime.

So not only is Luz the only primary character of colour, she’s largely cut off in forming meaningful relationships with other characters of colour, and having those bonds highlighted and given strong screen time (as thus far in S2, every time Gus and Willow have gotten significant screentime, it’s been largely removed from Luz, with her often doing something else with Amity). Remember when “Star Wars: Rogue One” came out, and there were discussions being had of “a lone woman only having meaningful relationships with men and no other women”?

[ Side note: as for the first point, I’m not going to say things I love, like TDP, don’t fall into the “woman surrounded by men” trope for its two main female leads, as Rayla is friends with the boys and was raised by her dads, and Claudia’s primary relationships are also with other men. However, I believe this is mitigated with plot lines like Ellis and Lujanne in S1, as well as Janai-Amaya-Khessa in S2 and particularly in S3, and I think this will only continue to grow moving forward into S4 and beyond ]

At the same time as Rogue One, there were conversations regarding the films status of “people of colour purely as the supporting cast but never as the primary lead”? TOH meets in as a weird hybrid in the middle, with a person of colour as the main lead, but largely surrounded by white people — and this is the case for most characters in the show.

Raine’s main relationship is with Eda. Darius is in the rebellion with them, but his only meaningful relationship on screen in any way is really with Hunter and the past golden guards. Gus and Willow are mostly side characters. We basically never see their families/parents (and know far more about the Blights / Edric and Emira in every way. Gus and Willow ultimately don’t get the time with Luz for me to call their relationship meaningful. This is especially strange, given that often times kids who are bullied (like all three of them are) cling harder to the friends they do have, and that while S1 was better about making Gus and Willow be extremely important to Luz as her First Friends Ever, S2 has dropped the ball even more so.

Luz is like an island, ironically on the Isles and cut off from her cultural community and from other characters of colour even when they do exist in her new community. So that’s talk about that in full.

Now, there is Luz, who is the primary protagonist (honestly, you could argue Eda is her co-protagonist) and she’s lovely and I love her. However, more than once, Luz’s plot line for an episode is a B plot or less plot relevant compared to other characters (particularly Eda). I touched on this in my Vocal article, but Luz is living in diaspora in the Boiling Isles. Yes, the demon realm suits her much better than Earth largely did, but I would still love to see elements of her culture in ways other than her / her family’s name and her occasionally speaking Spanish. What about holidays, what about missing her mother’s cooking and the cultural connotations it holds?

The show does engage with aspects of the Isekkai genre that are sometimes overlooked, namely Luz being torn between two worlds (and given that she’s mixed, it’s not like the allegory isn’t already there), but it only goes halfway. It only shows Luz wanting to be in the Boiling Isles with none of the possibilities about cultural shock, assimilation, and other aspects that can play into immigrating countries — or realms. I’m not saying the the show not engaging with Luz’s diaspora is a bad thing, but it does feel like a missed opportunity (as most of this is) particularly since they do try to engage with her on a cultural level with her speaking Spanish and writing her as purposefully Afro-Latina and from the Dominican Republic.

But honestly, basically everything I’ve talked about already — occasionally misleading set up w/ a lack of follow through, screentime (both considering and not considering its racial elements) — are all compounded into my biggest issue with the show, however, which are its

3. Disengaged stakes

So while I love Luz, I mostly love her for her personality and sweet hearted nature. I don’t actually love her that much for how she drives the plot forward — even though she does, and even though she’s the protagonist. And this is largely because Luz — and many of the characters — exist in a limbo of what I’m going to call Disengaged Stakes. Basically, they have stakes, but due to a lack of set up, or pay off in regards to emotional continuity (never mind a lack of consistency, i.e. sometimes Eda needs to hide, sometimes she can be flashy in public with zero consequences, sometimes getting caught by guards matters when the story decides it needs a conflict, and sometimes it doesn’t etc) it’s hard to actually be invested in those stakes. At least for me.

For most of S2, this meant I wasn’t really invested in Luz’s efforts to get a portal to see her mom (although this improved when we actually got a singular episode with Camila). It’s clear Luz isn’t going to live full time, if at all, in going back to the human realm. I also wasn’t worried for Camila, as she hasn’t been fearing for Luz this whole time, instead believing things are perfectly fine if not better than they were before.

Let me give you an example, and this was actually pointed out in a youtube review of the S2 finale that helped me put my finger on why it... felt weird as a finale (again, even though I haven’t fully watched it yet, but I have watched the bulk of it).

The four kids are stranded in the human realm, but what does that actually mean, for most of them? For Luz, this carries a lot of weight. She’s spent all season trying to find a way home to see her mother, but is now there under awful circumstances with no way back to the place she actually wants to be. It will also offer Camilla the perfect opportunity to see why the Boiling Isles and her family there is so important to Luz.

But what does this mean for the other three kids? Shockingly little. Like I’ve touched on before, we know nothing about Gus and Willow’s families. Yes, I’m sad they’re separated from them, but I’m sad because generally, kids being separated from their parents is sad. I’m not invested in their specific relationship (same issue I had with Rogue One and Jyn’s relationship with her father, as well). All Luz actually wants, in her core, is to stay in the Boiling Isles. Amity’s relationship with her father is on the mend and her siblings are there for her, but Luz is still clearly the most important person in the world to her, and they’re not separated. Hunter has absolutely nothing back for him in the Boiling Isles, largely, and he’s actually as safe as he can be from Belos’ machinations in the human realm.

So you have four kids tossed into the human realm, and it only really matters for one of them.

This is amplified in their relationships. Willow and Gus rarely have anything beyond interpersonal stakes; Amity had her mother, but now her father has turned over a new leaf, there are no interpersonal stakes any longer for her family (and she radically stood up to her mother very early on in S2 as well). She and Luz have had no problems in their relationship besides very brief miscommunication and Amity’s mother. Amity has hardly any stakes outside of Luz. The characters who are dealing with very high stakes, such as Raine, are largely shuttered away outside of the story — or Hunter.

Dear lord, Hunter. Which, now that we’ve gotten here, let’s talk about what I think could have aided in remedying a lot of these issues

4. Merging

Now I know TOH had to jump through a lot of executive hoops (including the existence and plot relevance of Hexside particularly in S1) so I don’t know what sort of orders came down, or mandates they have to follow but:

TOH has too many characters, and plenty of them could have been condensed as pairs into half as many characters.

I know this, because I went through a similar process of originally having a central group of thirteen characters, and cleaved that shit down to seven. So what are my proposed mergings?

The twins become one character. They more or less are now, fulfil the same purposes and character points as one another (flesh out Amity’s family, tease her and be a listening ear, show their mother’s control, operate as illusionists, etc). Whether it’s brother or sister doesn’t really matter.

Gus and Willow become one character. I would say keep more of Willow’s backstory (w/ Amity), dads, and plant magic alight, as the merged-twin character could substitute as the group illusionist whenever need be. It means that instead of only having splintered individual episodes with Luz or for their development, the small collection would be bolstered and improved marginally. It still wouldn’t fix where screentime or set up fails them, but it would be a significant start. I adore Gus, he’s one of my favourites in the whole show — but he’s less plot relevant than Willow, who is already largely not plot relevant (at least, not outside Hunter’s arc in S2) and we gotta be economical somewhere.

Economical storytelling is when a character, scene, or plot beat is doing at least three things at once, largely — and right now Gus is doing the least, as much as I love my boy, with Willow right next to him. Thus, there we go.

Now for the big, perhaps flat out unpopular one:

Hunter and Amity should’ve been one character. Like the twins, and even Amity and Lilith, they’re largely one theme split down the middle. The show draws intentional parallels between their world views, callousness, and need to be the best due to their abusive families, their strong relationships / connections to Luz, who works to friendship and who are changed by her kindness. There are also less thematic but still overt parallels, like their artificial wands, opposing palismans (bird vs cat), travelling into mindscapes where they uncover secrets. Hell, they both even have a reformed father figure who works with the Abominable coven with a shittier parent who believes in their own superiority at any cost.

Say Golden Guard Amity is enrolled in Hexside — she has to be trained somewhere — and throughout the season we hear her refer to her uncle, who raised her. He just wants the best for her, and for her to be a worthy member of the Emperor’s coven! It’s only at the end of S1 we learn that Amity’s uncle is Belos, and that her growing bond with Luz may be tested in the future. Then, in S2, she has to make a choice between her familial loyalty, ideological defection, and Luz and her friends (who will have more time to be friends, because there are less characters running around). You can even keep the condensed twin as a surrogate sibling mentor — perhaps one of Belos’ more successful grimwalkers, or flat out not a clone at all.

This merger gives Luz and Amity real stakes in their relationship, a higher sense of drama amid the sweet fluffiness, gives more characters more screentime... And amplifies everything that already exists in Amity’s arc. Yes, seeing a quieter form of child abuse from Odalia is worthwhile, particularly for abused children — but as of S2 she’s basically gone full bad guy and has already done so before in early S2, as her abomaton nearly kills Luz in “Escaping Expulsion” so... moot point? Sorta? Is what I’m saying.

It would also, for the love of god, give Amity a solidified reason to dye her hair after she finds out she’s a grimwalker. She wants to reassert her own identity, she wants to be different than her successors while also honouring their good nature, etc etc. Imagine “Hollow Mind” but with Amity in Hunter’s place, and all the weight that would hold for each of them, and for Hunter’s character, now condensed into Amity’s. Also stronger parallels of Belos’ clones becoming less like his brother (because Amity is a girl) over time and with parallels of the implied plot line, of Belos killing his brother because Caleb fell in love with a witch, and it’s happening again, this time just with Luz and Amity, directly.

Basically the only things that would have to change would be a little of S1′s pacing, some of S2′s Blight parent related episodes (so largely two until the finale, which again, Darius or the condensed twin could easily substitute)oOr, to come full circle, you could have Lilith also play a factor, the way she did in Amity’s arc in the beginning. This would provide a greater sense that characters actually had lives and connections and little ship passing in the night moments before Luz showed up, and they would all feel more like!! REAL PEOPLE!!

The only thing that would possibly, likely have to go is Willow’s history with Amity.But given that the show has never really addressed the bullying, perhaps that backstory element would be better left dropped, in general. Amity can be a jerky bully without specifically bullying Luz’s friend for like, 4-6 years beforehand, y’know.

Anyway I will never not believe in the validity of what I call TOH Merger and how it would strengthen basically almost every single aspect of the show, take it or leave it.

Conclusion / Nitpicks

Other notes before we wrap up.

I got bored with just how many episodes relied on the “Character A doesn’t want to fess up to something bc they’re insecure, scared, or trying to look Cool, but inevitably lie and make things ten times worse, and then learn it’s important to be honest” in S1 (hi King, Luz, Willow, and Gus eps respectively).

Amity’s laser character focus on Luz stifles her relationships with both Willow and Gus (as it is more or less non existent outside of a few lines or group scenes); all of Amity’s character growth is largely because of her relationship with Luz, but the same cannot be said for Luz, leaving their relationship lopsided. This is particularly true for me (and is a total personal Aro-spec induced nitpick) and is all the more glaringly obvious considering they barely had one episode where the two were on friendly / friend-ish terms before crush feelings on Amity’s side came in. This makes me feel less invested in their relationship as a whole, as while it’s exceedingly cute, it feels like it’s based on nothing but Crush™ Feelings and that will also be less compelling to me than a strong Foundational Friendship that develops into a crush. I don’t mind that development happening fast, but this was a little too fast in my book.

Final disclaimer: Still like the show, still think it’s good, these are just some of the reasons I don’t think it’s Great. The lack of a Merger will haunt me. Thank you goodnight

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theultimatenonbinarynerd · 2 months

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Top 5 Books I'm Excited To Get Off My TBR In 2024

Introduction

2023 was an absolutely amazing year as it was the first year of full reading after getting back into in the middle of 2022. It's going to be very hard to follow the wonderful stack of main + side reads I picked up last year but looking at my tbr this year I'm very helpful.

I've already had an amazing year so far with fabulous books like Different Not Less and The Rising Storm but I'm confident it will get even better as the year goes on. When I say my tbr is stacked I mean it's stacked. My tbr isn't just Marvel, Star Wars and Doctor Who there's some interesting both Nonfiction and Fiction novels but there are some I'm anticipating more eagerly than others, so I want to share some of the many novels on my tbr that I'm excited to get too this year if I can.

I'm praying that every novel lives up to my expectations.

5: Pageboy

When I heard Elliot Page was writing a memoir I put it on my tbr as speedy as possible and pre ordered it on release with amazon vouchers. I've not seen much of his work but have appreciated what I have seen. Elliot came out and fully affirmed himself around the time I was really struggling with my identity as a Nonbinary person and in denial about my girl hood but his journey really helped my own in a small way.

I don't know what to expect but from what I've been told from other trans people at my support group it's a good one. I'm so glad I got a copy when I did as there's always those books you need to read and I think this is one of those. Elliot has come so far and I'm really happy that he's able to share some of his journey in this novel. I've also heard that the structure goes against the typical binary of a novel and that's great. Plus I definitely think I'm in for a treat as its him that narrates the audio.

My prediction is that will either be a 4 star or 4.5 Star Read as despite my excitement the book is very short and I think the perfect Memoir should be around 300 pages. I've read a 400+ page Memoir and also understand that Memoirs can accidentally drag on. Different Not Less and The Princess Diarist worked so I might just be presumptionous but we'll see.

4: Welcome To St Hell

Another trans memoir but this time a graphic novel. I truly did not expect to add this to my tbr but as soon as I saw it on the Waterstones bookshelf I just felt this massive spark and new, new that it was meant to be mine. It's another book that calls to me and makes me feel like I need. I grew up very similar to Lewis uncomfortable in my own body and in a Catholic School where I couldn't really explore my identity and I think reading about their experience will help me come to terms with mine. Terfs review bombed it on the Waterstones website so that's how you know its worth picking up.

This will be the very first graphic novel I've read and Lewis Hancox definitely deserves that honour. Having seen his art style I have a strong feeling that it's gonna really help enhance his story. I also love the fact he's interviewed his family and got them involved in the process of the graphic novel. I'm just bursting to get it to it now but also understand that I've got to commit to my tbr and stick with the order. If I like it I definitely will be recommending it to my other friends trans and cis a like.

My prediction is that I'll love this graphic novel and that it's gonna be a wonderful experience. I seriously think it's gonna be either a 4.5 Star or a 5 Star Read. I haven't even read the graphic novel yet but I just have that strong feeling its gonna be a good one. My only negative is that the art is all in black and white but it can't be helped if it was nesscary for publishing and printing. We'll have to see how it goes but my excitement is building as it gets further up the list.

3: Cinderella Is Dead

Trying my best to read diversely and this is one of the novels that I have been dying to read as I'm in love with the concept. Every concept Kaylnn Bayron has fascinated to the point I want to buy nearly all of her novels. I love fantasy and I'm really excited to read a fantasy with some great black and queer representation. I hope it'll be an informative read but also a good stories that shows the damage of a heteronormative society as well as media soley representing straight people.

I'm really excited to follow Sophia's journey and route for her to escape. The cover art looks great and shows how the story is gonna be. Although Star Wars is in a galaxy far far away along time ago, most books I read are set in modern day so it'll be nice to read something in the past for once. Looking at my stats so far science fiction is definitely going to dominate so it's nice to get some fantasy in there. Kaylnn Bayron is really popular so I hope at least some of her books are good. Although I'm also gonna hopefully get to This Poison Heart I'm more excited for Cinderella Is Dead as I kill for a spooky world where we shun the powers above.

My prediction is that this will be a 4 star or a 4.5 star read. Don't get me wrong I'm sure it'll be great but reading other reviews im not sure it'll be 5 star worthy even if it's good. Sophia has a crush on her best friend and the feelings are unrequited. Problem is regardless of gender this trope is so common and annoying that it has to be done right. I feel like in the context of Cinderella Dead it won't work and YouTuber Jesse who I trust said that they didn't like how closted people were shamed in the book and as a partially closeted person that does put me off a bit. However I'm still really excited for this novel and curious about how it'll all play out.

2: Star Wars: Lost Stars

Claudia Gray is an author who I've adored. I've picked up nearly all of her novels and loved all of them with Leia Princess Of Alderaan being one of my favourites. I love the High Republic but Claudia Gray has become one of my favourite authors so I'm excited to read any Star Wars book by her. Talking about romance tropes I like I love Forbidden Love Stories and Enemies To Lovers and this book seems to be it. I'm also just incredibly excited to see perspectives outside of our core main cast in the original trilogy. Since it is Claudia Grays first Star Wars novel it'll also be super interesting to see how Grays writing has developed and changed. I've also been aching for a long read as it's fun to have a variety in my stats more.

One thing that does have me super hopeful is the fact that novel is over 500+ pages long, whilst still not much time to cover the events of the whole original trilogy it's still a fair enough amount of time. Lots of other novels would only be given 400 pages at least. With a story like Lost Stars it's nesscary to be able to stretch out your story over a period of time and I'm super glad that Claudia was given that chance. It also has my favourite romance dynamic mainly dominated by Obitine where you have to put duty over your own happiness. This story has a lot of potential and I'm excited to see how it lives up to that. I hope that by the end of the book we might be routing for Ciena and Thane. A cool theory from Star Wars Lawyer is that the couple in this novel are Finns parents which if the case is sad but also cool.

As I've had a lot of enjoyment from Claudia Gray novels my prediction is undeniably for this to be 4.5 Stars or 5 Stars. It might not be perfect due to how much story it has to tell but I still think its gonna be a really enjoyable read. Its a love story that's never really been done before in Star Wars so I definitely think it has a lot of potential but we'll have to see what happens. I've mostly heard positive things about this novel though and even had some Star Wars fans recommended it to me so I don't have a bad feeling about this I have a great feeling.

1: Jamie

And my number 1 most anticipated read for 2024 is Jamie By L.D Lapinski. It might sound silly for a middle grade book to be my most anticipated read but it's again like some of the other books on this list for deep and personal reasons. Jamie from the moment it was announced by the author is something I knew I needed to pick up. I'm not reading Jamie for me I'm reading it for my inner child who gotten beaten up and bombarded with Gender Norms. I'm a person who will pick up a book regardless of age rating (apart from picture books) as to me the most important aspect of a novel is its story and themes, not the target demographic. Some people might want to only read YA or Adult and that's perfectly valid but to me I'm here for the story and messages. I also got bullied my whole life for liking "childish" things so after getting my autism diagnosis I frankly don't get a damn about other people's opinions.

The whole story of Jamie hits super hard for me because even though I didn't know the words Nonbinary and Trans I still felt really out of place with the other girls so half of my friends were boys and because of that stupid heteronormativity every boy I was friends with had to be my "boyfriend." . Even worst we always split into boys vs girls for sports day, games in the playground and in pe. I hated it, it made me super uncomfortable but I never knew why so believe me when I say I relate to Jamie's struggle. The thought of an all boys and girls school may sound nice but as someone who's grown up Mormon let's just say it's very awkward. I wish there were novels like Jamie around in my youth as it would have helped me come to terms with all my confusing emotions a lot faster.

High expectations and I definitely think this book is either gonna be or a 4.5 star or 5 stars. Anything less would be impossible. I know how to pick my reads and am often quite generous when it comes to rating novels. The Ever After High Books I've read have never been rated below 4 stars. So I definitely can get into middle grade books. We'll have to see what happens but judged on the synopsis alone and how short books like Here And Queer and The Evolving Truth Of Ever-Stronger Will have been good and I've connected with them I don't think Jamie will disappoint. Mama G a popular drag queen storyteller has also been hyping it up so I definitely have high hopes.

Honourable Mentions

And here we have our two honourable mentions that I might not even be able to get to this year as they're so further down the list but with how my reading was ignoring the side reads I do have faith. It all depends as I'm going to be studying creative writing at university so I'll be even more clogged down but I still have huge faith and am hoping for the best. For my 5th reading year I will have to do something special but we'll see as I'm only on my third reading year currently.

So as put above the first of my honourable mentions is How To Be Ace By Rebecca Burgess. Another graphic novel this one focuses on Rebecca's journey growing up as an asexual person trying to discover and accept her identity. I'm very excited for this short graphic novel as an Ace person as it'll be nice to read about another Asexual person's experience and what's its like to grow up unsure of your identity. Currently us Asexuals are starved of content so it's really nice to get representation like this. I definitely think despite its short length its gonna be another 5 star read but we'll see.

My second honourable mention has to go to Tempest Runner By Cavan Scott. Im not sure if I'll get to it this year but it all depends. After reading the Rising Storm I'm very excited to listen and read this full cast audio drama script even better it focuses on Lourna Dee. I love Lourna she's one of my favourite Nihil and I'm glad there's a piece of media focusing on her. I'm really buzzed as I loved Cavan Scott's writing in The Rising Storm as it proved how capable he is. I honestly don't know what the star rating might be and that's the exciting part. I've never read an audio drama script before but if I like it I might check others out like Dooku Jedi Lost and Doctor Aphra.

Conclusion

Overall I'm very excited for 2024 reading and think it's full of potential. I've already enjoyed most of my reads this year with only Fazbear Frights 1:35 AM majorly disappointing me. The prospects are looking good as I truly believe I know how to pick my reads. All I'm hoping is that I can try my best to avoid having all my main reads be just Star Wars books. I really am trying to go beyond my Autistic brain and read diversely but do believe I'm making baby steps.

One thing I'm happy about is that I've made and am making more of an effort to include Nonfiction on my tbr as I truly do find it laughable that I only picked up one Nonfiction book this year and I just knew that had to change for my own sake as I truly believe there's a lot to learn and engage with from nonfiction. It's a commitment I'm sticking with and I'll keep you all updated how it's gonna through my 2024 Reading Wrap Up and my monthly ones.

There's alot of tbr I didn't mention so despite not being on the list I'd like to shout them out in a similar way people mention they're pateron subscribers. So a big shout out too...

Brotherhood By Mike Chen, The Cabin At The End Of The World By Paul Tremblay, Against The Tide By J.Elle, Jedi Battle Scars By Sam Maggs, Race To Crashpoint Tower By Daniel José Older, A Test Of Courage By Justina Ireland, The War Of The Worlds By H.G. Wells, The Deviant Strain By Justin Richards, The Evolving Truth Of Ever-Stronger Will By Maya MacGregor, Prisoner Of The Daleks By Trevor Baxendale, This Poison Heart By Kaylnn Bayron, The Legend Of Shadow High By Shannon Hale and Dean Hale, Out Of The Shadows By Justina Ireland, Wings Of Fury By Brittney Morris, Jurassic Park By Michael Crichton, Unmasking Autism By Devon Price, The Courage To Be Disliked By Fumitake Koga And Ichiro Kishimi, The Courage To Be Happy Bu Fumitake Koga And Ichiro Kishimi and Verily A New Hope By Ian Doescher.

To 2024 and a hopefully good reading year.

-Melody-

They/Them

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mostly-mundane-atla · 2 years

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Moving on from yesterday's irritation at that awful anonymous message and discussing characters i'd hook up or do a scene with, i got a request at one point to talk about my grandma and the whole reincarnation through eskimo name experience. I think it'd be nice to talk about that instead of all the abuse and poverty i lived through.

I've mentioned before that Grandma would have been just a little girl when her whole village was made to relocate to a recently desegregated Nome. Alaska's BIA schools for Native Children varied and some teachers even found the suggested treatment of the children sent to them incredibly cruel and inhumane, so I can't speak to the exact details of the Nome school at the time my grandmother would have attended. The fact was, though, that Native children were punished, often physically, for not speaking English. This was deliberate. By taking children away from their families, making them speak in a new language their parents don't speak for eight hours a day, and making their first languages a source of shame and a sign of ignorance, you drive a wedge between generations and tell the younger one that the only way to success is abandoning their culture. What i can say about her time at school and how it affected her was that when she grew up, got married, and had kids of her own, she taught them as little Inupiaq as she could and treated "stupid" as a bad word. It would be about 40 years after she started school that her right to speak her language would be legally protected.

I don't know much about Grandma's upbringing other than that she was the second youngest of six kids, Inupiaq was her first language, and she wanted out of Nome from a young age. I don't even know if she had a high school education since at the time BIA schooling wasn't required to go that far and many high schools for Native Students were boarding schools, and we all know the dark history those have. I know she was a fan of Roy Orbison (the guy who sang Pretty Woman) and Elvis Presley. I've been told that she once met Elvis in an airport and was absolutely star struck the entire time. When she was growing up, cowboy boots were the hot fashion item among teens in Nome and she considered red nail polish salacious and scandalous.

My grandpa's mom was not happy about his relationship with Grandma. Grandpa's mom was a southern woman who didn't believe in race mixing, and refused to acknowledge their marriage, refering to Grandma as her son's "lady friend" long after they married and built a life together. She wouldn't budge from this until she succumbed to alzheimer's in her old age. Grandpa's dad, a WWII air force Veteran who was held as a prisoner of war by the Nazis, on the other hand, absolutely adored Grandma and was happy she married into the family. He thought she was incredibly cute (remember, she was under five feet tall and spoke with a heavy village accent) and would profusely apologize for eating stinky cheese or passing gas around her as she seemed so delicate a young lady to him. She considered this all quite endearing.

Grandma and Grandpa had four kids (my mom was also the second youngest, funnily enough) before medical issues prevented them from having more as Grandma would have wanted. Though she didn't teach anyone Inupiaq she'd still include Inupiaq words in her everyday speach, including calling black people "taaqsis" much to my mother's embarassment (the Inupiaq word for a black person is "taaqsipak" meaning "very dark" and is sometimes considered to have a negative connotation; though the word for a white person means "person of ignorance" which sounds much less neutral but isn't considered that negative; but at the same time it's not my place to say what is and isn't offensive to a group i don't belong to). She had to get her gallbladder removed and told her kids the scars were from when she got in a knife fight with a gang. It's been a while since my mom told me about this one, so i might be interpreting this wrong, but i think Grandma made a habit of going out to nightclubs with friends whenever she had a fight with Grandpa (who liked to start shit when he was bored so not that uncommon) and putting on her makeup in front of him before heading out to it to make him jealous. Healthy form of communication and conflict resolution? No. Funny to think about? Absolutely. Grandpa would say people only go to night clubs to "fuck or fight" and my mom shot back that Grandma was going out without him "because she doesn't want to fuck or fight" and she cracked up telling me this.

The thing that struck me most about what I've been told about Grandma, though, was how much other people liked to be around her. Not even just her peers in age, either. My mom's family was poor. The house was small, they didn't have cable, and ate what they could get on food stamps. It didn't sound like the most entertaining place to hang out, but in their teenage years my mom's friends and my uncles' friends loved visiting and staying as late as they could. Grandma was happy to see them and always managed to make them feel welcomed.

Grandma died in a pretty horrific car accident. I think my mom had graduated high school by then, but i don't know how old she was. It gave her a big scar on her jaw and a near death experience. She saw Heaven and from what she described, it sounds like the Ave Maria animation from Fantasia. Grandma was there; she was a light but my mom knew it was her, and she said to go back because it wasn't her time yet. One of my uncles was also in the car, just 14 at the time. Grandpa had to be pulled off the driver responsible for the wreck, who was also injured and in a hospital bed, so he wouldn't kill him.

I don't know how long after that i was born, but the first time my mom held me, she cried. Grandma had always teased her that she'd end up married to a white man and have blue-eyed babies. My dad is white (tho he wouldn't marry my mom until years later, in the living room, treating the lady who officiated it and the witnesses to a cigarette since we didn't even have a cake) and i have his blue eyes. I don't believe in fate, but i'd be lying if I said that didn't feel purposeful to me.

I got Grandma's eskimo name so she lives through me and my mom explained that to me since i was old enough to understand her words. We'd talk about her as if she was still alive -- and in a way, you could say she was -- but somewhere far away. My mom would always point out the ways i was like her. I was stubborn and sensitive like her, i drew eyes like her sometimes (a dot with a curved line through it), later on even little details like underwear preferences or a habit of drinking single serving coffee creamers like a shot, but it never felt like i was in anyone's shadow. It felt like i was loved for who i was and who I once was all at the same time. I'm trying to teach myself the language and every time I learn a new word or phrase, it feels familiar, like i'm pulling from inside and outside myself at the same time. Sometimes i tear up at it and a few times i've asked out loud "Grandma is that you?"

Sometimes I feel like the Woodsman from Over The Garden Wall, carrying a soul in a lantern. I wonder if she sees or feels through me. I'll think things like "we're still poor but fruit isn't a luxury anymore; isn't that neat, Grandma?" or "Do you like jasmine green tea, Grandma? I think it's exquisite," or "Grandma, this fall air is wonderful for walking in! Look at all the colors!"

It's like no matter how alone i am or feel, i'm always in good company. And i'm sure Grandma wouldn't want it any other way.

#eskimo on main #yes; inupiaq christianity has a peaceful afterlife and earthly reincarnation simultaneously; don't ask me how it logically works

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