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#in fact i know thats the case

freakurodani · 2 months

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The parallel between Sokka and Tenzin as their fathers' sons.

Sokka, left at 13 as his father and all the other men head off to war. Hakoda tells him "being a man is knowing where he's needed the most" and he needs to protect his sister, his home.

Tenzin is the second airbender. He is also half water tribe, he's a man. When Aang dies, he will be the last airbender. He understands what he needs to do.

Untold amount of pressure and responsibility have been thrust upon them by their fathers. Though, I believe it is not all intentional, but the unfortunate circumstance of being the fathers of sons who take responsibility incredibly seriously.

In Sokka's case, "protect your sister" is a vague instruction. It was meant to give him purpose, to help him feel okay about being left behind, He is too young for war, his father does not want to bring his child to slaughter. But Sokka will die with purpose. He will train the children of his tribe so they will be protected, he will face a fire nation ship until his last breath. He cannot go to war, but Hakoda did not see that war was all around them. In trying to give Sokka purpose, Hakoda put their world on his shoulders.

We do not get to see Aang be a father (in the TV shows), but we know he had hopes for the future. All his children were air nomads, and the air acolytes brought his culture back, but Tenzin could bend. This part of their culture is one ONLY they share. I do not think Aang would hide this, he is joyous that he gets to share his culture. When he feels respected, he always is, he taught the air acolytes after all. Off handedly, he could say, "I'm hopeful for a future where there are lots more air benders," and that, which feels mostly innocuous to him, is the nail in the coffin of Tenzin's fate. He is Avatar Aang's son, and the future of the air benders. It would not matter that Aang meant a future in generations. Tenzin sees the responsibility and it's his. He is his father's only air bending child, he knows what he needs to do.

Being a parent is not understanding the way the things you say harm your children. Even those things that feel innocuous in the moment can be life altering. Especially the more the child respects the parent. Purpose and Hope for those with a broader perspective, can be death sentences to a life that could have been when expressed to those who idolize the former.

#avatar the last airbender #avatar the legend of korra #atla sokka #sokka #tenzin #lok tenzin #aang #avatar aang #hakoda #atla #conspiracy lvl: text #i thought about talking about how my own mothers expectations for me broke me #they just felt like facts of life for her #just as like anecdotal evidence for my thought process #bc like we only know aang as a father from his frustrated adult children #but i REALLY REALLY dislike the takes that are like 'aang kept having kids until he got an airbender'#bc THAT doesnt feel like aang #like #if that were the case dont you think aang and katara would have had like A LOT more kids????#like if the goal was make airbender babies why stop at one???#but its because bumi kya and tenzin are reflections of sokka katara and aang #ive made a post about that #its about AANGS FAMILY #and he loves them #i think the favoritism is reasonable #makes me sad but thats cause my mom had obvious favorites (it wasnt me lmao)#another reason why i didnt wanna bring her up <- is doing it anyway how embarrassing #i ALSO thought about my dad though #but i cant talk about that here bc APPARENTLY tumblr only lets you add 30 tags now rip

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kaladinkholins · 4 months

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i know I've mentioned my interpretation of mizu's gender a million times on here but i don't think i ever fully elaborated on it.

so on that note i just wanna ramble about that for a bit. basically, it's my reading of the show that mizu is nonbinary, so let me dig into that.

putting the rest under the cut because it ended being pretty long lol. also here have a cute mizu pic of her being happy and most at ease with herself, symbolised by her letting her hair down. <3 ok let's proceed.

okay note that nonbinary is an umbrella term, and applies to a vast range of gender identities, but it's my personal preference to use it as is, simply because i'm not a fan of microlabels. more power to you if you are though, but anyway.

essentially when i refer to mizu as nonbinary it means that i interpret mizu as a woman, but not ONLY a woman. not strictly a woman. she is also a man. she is also neither of these things, she is something in between, while at the same time she is none of these at all. i've said as much many times, but i just don't want people to think that by nonbinary it inherently means a "third androgynous gender" that essentially turns the gender binary into a gender trinary. not only is that going against what the term nonbinary was crafted for (to go against rigid boxes and categorisation of gender identities), but also, not all nonbinary people fall under that category or definition, and that's definitely not the way i interpret mizu.

also, before anyone fights me on this, let me clarify further that gender means something different to everyone. it's not your biological sex or physical characteristics. but at the same time, gender is not mere presentation. you can be a trans woman and still present masculine—either because you're closeted and forced to, or because you just want to—and either way, that doesn't take away from your identity as a woman. same goes for trans men. if you're a trans man but you wear skirts and don't bind or don't get top surgery, that doesn't make you any less of a man. because gender non-conformity exists, and does not only apply to cis people! some lesbians are nonbinary and prefer using he/him pronouns while dressing masculinely, but that doesn't mean they're a man, or that they're any less of a lesbian. neither does this mean that they're a cis woman.

the thing about queer identities in general is that, like i said, they mean something different to everyone, because how you identify—regardless of your biological attributes and fashion or pronouns—is an extremely personal experience. so a nonbinary person and a gnc cis woman's experiences might have plenty of overlap, but what distinguishes between the two is up to the individual. there's no set requirements to distinguish you as one or the other, but it's up to you to decide what you identify as, based on what you feel. either way, by simply identifying yourself as anything under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are already communicating to the world that you are not what a conservative, cisheteronormative society wants you to be.

which is why i find all this queer infighting on labels to be so ridiculous. because we're all fighting the same fight; the common enemy is a societal structure that divides us into set roles and expectations purely based on our biological parts. that's why biological essentialism in the queer community is a fucking disease. because by arguing that women are inherently weak and fragile and soft and gentle and must be protected from evil ugly men, while men are inherently strong and angry and violent and exploitative of women, these people are advocating for the same fucked up system that marginalises and abuses women as well as effeminate and/or gay men.

anyway. i'm going on a tangent. this was meant to be a blue eye samurai post. so yeah back to that— the point i'm trying to make is that there's no one way to identify as anything, and everyone views gender in a specific way.

so with that being said, yes you can definitely interpret mizu as a gnc cis woman and that's a totally valid reading. however, interpreting her as nonbinary or transmasc also doesn't take away from her experiences with misogyny and female oppression, because nonbinary and transmasc folks also experience these things.

me, personally, i view her as nonbinary but not necessarily or always transmasc because i still believe femininity and womanhood is an inherent part of who mizu is. for example, from what we've seen, she does not like binding. it does not give her gender euphoria, but is instead very uncomfortable for her both physically and mentally, and represents her suppressing her true self. which is why when she "invites the whole" of herself, she stands completely bare in front of the fire, breasts unbound and hair untied. when she is on the ship heading to a new land in the ending scene, she is no longer hiding her neck and the lack of an adam's apple. we can thus infer that mizu does not have body dysmorphia. she is, in fact, comfortable in her body, and relies on it extremely, because her body is a weapon. instead, what mizu hates about herself is her face—her blue eyes. she hates herself for her hybridised identity, hates herself for being a racial Other. hates that she has no home in her homeland. these are not queer or feminist themes, but postcolonial ones.*

* and as a tiny aside on this subject, i really do wish more of the fandom discussion would talk about this more. it's just such an essential part to reading her character. like someone who's read homi k bhabha's location of culture and has watched this show, PLEASE talk to me so we can ramble all about how the show is all about home and alienation from community. please. okay anyway—

nevertheless, queer and feminist themes (which are not mutually exclusive by the way!) are still prevalent in her story, though they are not the main issue that she is struggling with. but she does struggle with it to some extent, and we see this especially during her marriage with mikio, where we see her struggle in women's domestic spaces.

on the other hand, though, she finds no trouble or discomfort in being a man or being around other men—even naked ones—and does not seem stifled by living as one, does not seem all that bothered or uncomfortable navigating through men's spaces. contrast this to something like disney's mulan (1998), where we do see mulan struggle in navigating through men's spaces, as she feels uncomfortable being around so many men, always feeling like she doesn't belong and that she's inherently different from them. mizu has no such experiences like this, as her very personality and approach to life is what can be categorised as typically "masculine". she is straightforward and blunt. her first meeting with mikio, she tells him straight to his face that he's old while frowning and raising a brow at him. she approaches problems with her muscles and fists (or swords), rather than with her words or mind. compare this with mulan, who, while well-trained by the end of the movie, still uses her sharp wits rather than brute strength. this is a typically "feminine" approach. it's also the approach akemi relies on throughout the show—through her intelligence and persuasive tongue, she navigates the brothel with ease. mizu, in contrast to someone like mulan and akemi, struggles with womanhood and femininity, and feels detached from it.

thus, in my opinion, mizu is not simply a man, nor is she simply a woman. she is both. man and woman. masculine and feminine. she has to accept both, rather than suppress one or the other. her name means water. fluid.

as a side note, while i do believe mizu is nonbinary, i also primarily use she/her pronouns but this is a personal preference. i find it's easier, plus it's what the creators use, and because, in general, being nonbinary simply doesn't necessitate the use of they/them pronouns. nonbinary is not just a third gender. it's about breaking the binary, in any which way, and that's exactly what mizu does.

also, i'd also like to mention that one of show's head of story even referred to her with the term "nonbinary", rather than simply "androgynous" (see pic below). and it's possible this could be a slip up on his part, in which he believes the terms are interchangeable (they're not btw), but regardless i find it a very interesting word choice, and one that supports my stance.

so anyway yeah that's my incredibly long rambling post.

TL;DR nonbinary mizu rights 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 congrats if you reached the end of this btw. also ily. unless you're a TERF in which case fuck off. ok i'm done.

#mizu blue eye samurai #mizu bes #blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai meta #sorry if this is redundant btw i just cant stop thinking thoughts :3 #btw i am a mixed* southeast asian who is also nonbinary. just in case that's important context #by mixed* i mean i'm asian+asian but diff ethnicities lol. i dont have a white bone in my body god bless<3 #my whiteness is purely learned thru cultural osmosis + bcs my parents taught me english as a first language (boooo 🍅🍅🍅)#also i live in the global south so i think EYE know a thing or two about being gnc in a society of rigid awful gender roles‼️#so likeee i think its ridiculous that its an either-or thing #mizu can be nonbinary while still being a woman of colour ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#also ummm as much as i love queer themes and gay people i wish people would talk more about the racial otherness / community aspect #as mentioned in the post above #you don't need to read bhabha's whole book btw but just take a look at some of his ideas and you'll get what im talking about #like the fact that the fandom mostly ignores those themes in the story makes me feel like :( :/#cuz to me THATS the thing that spoke to me most and its a shame that its just not talked about enough #i mean i know why thats likely the case. but still.#whoops im rambling again 🤪#fandom.rtf #shut up haydar #meta dissertations.pdf

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lesbianralzarek · 3 months

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why does every article reporting on idf war crimes go "hamas, who started the war on october 7th with their brutal terrorist attack slaughtering innocent israeli civilians, has condemned the idf's use of-"? like, nearly verbatim every single time. we know about october 7th. we know by now. half the time, hamas isnt even relevant but they gotta find some way to sow doubt and numb any potential compassion responses. will you get fired if you show sympathy for murdered palestinian civilians without first adding a disclaimer saying its all their fault for being born in gaza? if you call "palestinians under 18" children? if you use the words "murdered" or "brutal" or "massacre" for acts that didnt occur on october 7th? if you call a spade a spade? why are israeli reports front page news without proper fact-checking but palestinian reporting is always "allegedly" even when theres video evidence? why does the idf not get the hamas treatment of reminding everyone that theyre biased before treating their words as law, like they havent been caught bold-faced lying again and again?

#soooooo fucking infuriating #'palestinians are allegedly starving but thats what hamas (who are savage terrorists in case you forgot) said as well so who knows?'#'idf soldiers are allegedly bragging about and showing pictures and videos of their war crimes on social media but #its not in english so we may never know what theyre saying. palestinian ''civilians'' are translating so whatever they say must be wrong'#'in other news. heres what ''doctors'' are referring to as a ''calendar'' but is written in arabic (terrorist language) so the idf must be #telling the truth when they say its proof they are all evil and must in some nebulous way suddenly stop living'#to be fair. the 'secret hamas names list disguised as calendar but REALLY about oct 7' shit was the target of skepticism quite early on #but it really does show how often the idf lies to justify obvious war crimes #maybe they should provide verified evidence or even just be given a bias disclaimer before printing their claims as fact???#every single fucking death toll is phrased as 'hamas-run ministry of health reports death toll of x' like?#yeah? thats their fucking government? what else do you expect?#you do understand that the healthcare portion of their government is probably more reputable #than what the phrasing of those headlines are obviously trying to imply?#i understand that bias is still possible there but its not armed combatants making shit up #its doctors who receive govt paychecks doing their best to identify the disfigured bodies not buried under rubble #youre not slick with that wording

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brainworms-all-night-long · 5 months

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

So, what's your prediction for how it ends? Because my expectations have been broken

Heeeey, I knew I wanted to put tiny drabble I had in my head to words for this one but couldn't decide on how many rebukable details I wanted it to have to the point of just debating waiting until the 11th, but than I got a sudden new year's burst of motivation so I drew and wrote something vague at last!!

[281 words]

☆-–-–-–-–-–-•-–-–-–-–-–-◇

Nine did expect a ripple of energy to surge through him and snatch his consciousness along as the Prism was fixed and finally seated in its rightful place. At this point he was fine with that really, maybe even grateful.

What he expected less was cold stone beneath his head that pulsed with a headache and weak control returning to his limbs.

Soft red ambient light sat upon stone walls that slowly registered to Nine's blurry vision and for a second he believed he was back in New Yoke. That he, or someone, perhaps hit his head and then left him lying on the concrete, that everything in his recent memory was just a very weird and long-winded dream.

That theory had a couple of holes in it however, as it would be highly improbable for the Eggforcers to just leave him lying there for Chaos knows how long disrupting their precious "order" and two, the source of the red glow doesn't seem to poisonous be neon lights of the city but...him instead?

With a pained grunt and some struggle Nine managed to sit up and collect himself just enough to stare at his own hand and legs, which appeared translucent and glowing red, for some reason, familiar shades of red.

The second he let his bewilderment about his state fall he looked around and up, taking a note of a fallen scrap of an eggforcer and a long stone bridge connecting two rocky platforms high above.

So, still in the Prism cave then. Most likely got flung off the platform and into a ditch while hitting his head, but than, did putting the shards together not work out after all?

#sonic prime #starting off new year stronk💪#ok ok so basic idea for this was #you know how in the physical proces of breaking something. after putting it back together its not the same thing anymore yea #you can slap on as much ducktape or glue on a brocken plate but it will never be whole again?#sooo something similar happened to the prism and while I swiftly ignore the fact that its a magical rock that most likely has the power to–#–seamlessly fuse together again #and so since thats the case. the stuff it created with it's shattering also wont be the same as before #maybe I could mix in some theories that the shatterverse always existed its just sonic broke through the geteway to it by shattering the roc #but that just adds more holes to my cheddar cheese of an au theory so we'll leave that be #Nine was ultimately bribed back down from his silliness and defeated he put the prism back together #when that happened everything that was already in the cave stayed there but our fellow prime characters were back as well #nine just got very conveniently thrown way back so that no one knew of him until he made himself known #also sonic and shadow suffering temponary amnesia but Ill write that out somewhere else #so tada!! shaky foundation for my copium prime bros au!!#prime bros #miles nine prower #nine the fox #me does arts #actually finished doodl #me when I finish writing #also its 5am so uh. sorry for any logic inconsistencies-

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imabiscuitinthousandworlds · 1 month

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I LOVE going everywhere by bike. Don't need to wait for a bus. Don't need to cram myself into a bus with (urgh) people. Or even worse, what feels like every single student in town. I still get home in about the same amount of time. I'm so so flexible including with places. Like yeah sure, let's go there! I don't care if the next bus station is far away. Doesn't matter to me.

Stayed out late with friends recently. Two of em had to get their family to come pick them up because that's too far to walk and it was too late for buses. A different friend lives like 30 minutes away but always walks and their way goes through a small park where literally no one is at with few lanterns so it's pitch black and I could literally just walk them home and then take the bike which is faster and has its own light and feels and probably is safer than walking those dark ass streets at night alone.

Like. I can just do all that. And yeah, sometimes when I'm not doing too well I feel like collapsing afterwards and yeah, maybe my fingers feel like falling off a lot at this time of year but that's like. SO worth it. I have no idea how people can live and NOT go everywhere by bike. Like if it's more than 20-30 minutes maybe but even with hills.... I fucking love my bike.

#a biscuit's rambles #also i just love going out with friends til late??#with the lockdown and shit that is such an entirely new experience and its great #also i like feeling useful i think. i like walking a friend home knowing ill definitely get home safe #idk #i also like my bike. a lot #been taking it literally every single day for years now and i have no regrets #EXCEPT FOR THOSE FUCKING PEDESTRIANS THAT HEAR MY BELL AND DO NOT FUCKING MOVE #AND THE OTHER BIKES THAT JUST DONT RING THEIR BELLS OR NOT EVEN HAVE ANY #LIKE THEN YOU GOTTA AT LEAST YELL AT PEOPLE TO MOVE OVER YOU NUMBNUT #A BIKE IS QUIET THEY DO NOT HEAR YOU THEY WILL NOT MOVE OVER MAGICALLY #AND IM STUCK BEHIND YOU #ALSO ITS JUST ASSHOLE BEHAVIOUR LIKE SOMEITMES WARNING SOMEONE SO THEY KEEP TO THE BLOODY SIDE IS GOOD!!!#and dont even get me STARTED ON SOME OF THE CARS #MUCH LESS THE STUPID ASS FUCKING INFRASTRUCTURE OF MY TOWN #ITS LIKE THEY WANT BIKES TO BE RUN OVER #fun fact i have been run over before #just fuckin collided with a car #nobody would listen to me try to pick apart the details of how it felt #which was probably my way of trying to cope with that experience lol #though nothing serious happened. bUT STILL #also oh god that one stupid fucking street with those stupid ass cars NOBODY NEEDS A CAR THERE JUST BAND HTEM ALREADY #AND THE. THE FUCKIGN ROADWORKS #I CAN NOT REACH MY SCHOOL WITHOUT ALMOST BEING EITHER HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A HUGE SHOVEL OR RUN OVER BY A TRUCK #AND IF THATS NOT THE CASE THEN THERES SO MANY FCKING PEOPLE THAT EVEN IF I YELL AT THEM LIKE MAD I CANT GET PAST WITHOUT RUNNING SOMEONE #THROUGH MYSELF #im very passionate about all things bike. but thinking abt it is a huge part of my life so im allowed to be

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aranarumei · 6 months

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the anomalous agate (part three)

*blows out candles* happy birthday to me! here's a gift for some of you <3

for anyone who has no idea what this is about, go here for part one

for those who do, here's the ao3 link, and if you prefer tumblr, it's just under the cut

case 2-x: the anomalous agate (part 3)

The clock had just ticked over to 4PM when Hanzawa Masato entered the shop on Sunday. I shivered at the brisk gust of wind that swept through Jewelry Étranger; Richard simply rose from his seat and said, “Welcome back, Hanzawa-san,” without a flicker of surprise on his face.

That was my fault—I hadn’t been able to keep my mouth shut during the intervening Saturday—but it was still good to see Hanzawa in the flesh.

I’d run into Kaede on Friday, and we’d ended up grabbing lunch together. She’d been accompanied by a friend who eyed me warily before Kaede explained how the two of us knew each other, and I was comforted to know that she had people so dedicated to looking out for her. I had a feeling that wasn’t the only reason for her stare, though—the bruise on my face had darkened into a faded yet obvious purple.

As we began to eat, it was impossible to not notice the attention we’d garnered, and Kaede asked, “Does it hurt?”

“It doesn’t even sting anymore,” I told her. After diligently applying an ice pack for most of the day before, the swelling had decreased and I was pain-free, assuming no one was poking my face. “Mostly it’s just awkward. But you can’t help that.”

At my answer, she relaxed, and we finally got around to making proper introductions. She, like Hanzawa, was a freshman in university, and—possibly like or unlike him—was studying literature. They’d ended up meeting through some mutual friends of theirs in high school, and once they’d found out that they shared the same taste in books and movies, became fast friends.

“Still, he’s pretty guarded,” Kaede said, and I wondered if her casual acknowledgment of that fact was the reason she hadn’t pressed for details on how Hanzawa and I had met. “Like, he knows so many people, but doesn’t really give off that ‘popular’ aura, you know? And he never had a girlfriend in high school—not that anyone knew of, at least.” Then she seemed to catch on to the fact that I felt awkward talking about Hanzawa when he wasn’t around, and quickly changed the subject.

We eventually started to talk about part-time jobs, and when I mentioned that I worked at a jeweler’s store, she whistled in appreciation. “Wow, that’s interesting,” she said, and I began to understand exactly why she and Hanzawa were friends. “What’s your store lighting like?”

I stared at her blankly. “The… lighting?”

“Sorry, I’m way too used to talking to other film buffs!” Kaede explained. “I was just thinking about how jewels are so hard to take photos of. It’s really difficult to capture the sparkle that you see in real-life, right?”

“Pictures definitely don’t do the real thing justice,” I agreed.

“Yeah, and I know that there’s some stuff that jewelers inspect for that requires special types of lighting, so I was wondering if there was any fancy equipment at your shop. But I’m realizing you probably don’t look at that stuff too hard, huh?”

She had the same kind of disappointment on her face as Tanimoto-san when she’d learned I couldn’t perfectly recall what metamorphism was. “I could… ask, maybe?” I offered.

“If it’s no problem!” Kaede accepted. “Lighting’s so interesting to me… it affects how things are viewed so much. Like, the type of makeup that people wear for filming differs from daily wear…” She clapped her hands together in realization. “That would be a great way to deal with your bruise, actually!” At my awkward look, she paused, and sheepishly tacked on, “Well, only if you wanted to, I guess… it’s pretty out there as far as a solution goes.”

“Ah… I kind of already bought some for that purpose,” I clarified. “So it’s a good suggestion—just one that I’ve already taken.”

“No, no, I’m glad you thought of it already!” Kaede exclaimed. “Did you shop at a store in-person? It must have been uncomfortable…”

What was really uncomfortable was maintaining the pretense that I’d thought this solution up on my own instead of being led around by Hanzawa. But judging by the fact that she hadn’t brought him up, I was pretty sure his skill with makeup wasn’t one Hanzawa often advertised.

“A little,” I said, opting for a half-truth. “At the checkout line, I got asked if I was buying the stuff for my girlfriend.”

“I guess it is uncommon to see guys buying makeup…” Kaede said, and then mumbled to herself, “But wouldn’t your bruise…?” Thankfully, she moved on from that line of thought and instead asked, “Did covering the bruise not work, since it’s still pretty obvious…?”

“It doesn’t really matter to me on the day-to-day,” I said. “But I definitely can’t work any public-facing job unless I cover my bruise.”

“Ah, I didn’t think of that!” Kaede gasped. “It’s probably good to use it sparingly, anyways—makeup isn’t that great for your skin, and I’d imagine yours is especially sensitive right now.”

“That’s good to know,” I said. “It’s been healing pretty well so far, so I don’t think I’ll have to use it much. I guess it’s because I just work security, but the television station I work at didn’t even mind—”

“You work at a television station?” Kaede interrupted, eyes gleaming in excitement.

I was surprised I hadn’t thought to bring it up earlier. It was a welcome change of topic, so I nodded.

Once again, she asked me about lighting equipment, to which I could give no answer, and she began to explain the various types of special equipment involved in filming. At a certain point, I had to awkwardly pause her explanation and point to her food, which had been left untouched for the past ten minutes.

“I got way too excited,” she admitted sheepishly when we’d finally parted ways.

“It’s alright,” I said. “I like hearing about that kind of stuff. It makes me think like… there’s just so much in the world that people don’t know.”

“I definitely feel that way, too!” Kaede said. “I mean, I know cameras fairly well, but recently I saw this interview from an audio director and realized just how much work goes into capturing and adding all the sound for films…” She managed to catch herself this time before she launched into another ramble and wished me a good day.

I wondered to myself if everyone had something they were secretly and intensely passionate about, like Kaede and Tanimoto-san. Though I’d developed a new appreciation for things after meeting Richard, I still wouldn’t consider myself a true enthusiast of anything.

It would be nice to be that way, I thought.

Later that day, I found that I’d been added to a group chat consisting of Hanzawa, Kaede, and I, where she delivered the news that the senior we’d made a report against had gotten expelled. Hanzawa replied first, sending a brief but warm congratulations, and I hesitated before doing the same. It felt strange not to acknowledge his existence directly, but I didn’t have anything I really wanted to say to him, either. Emotions were even harder to read through a screen—no matter what I said, I’d probably hit an impenetrable wall.

In the end, I simply set my phone on my nightstand and decided to sleep. I’d have to spend some time applying makeup before heading to work tomorrow, so it was best to tuck in early.

Saturday had passed, and now Hanzawa was here, entering Jewelry Étranger without even a hint of his initial hesitation. Maybe it was just my own increased sense of familiarity, but despite his calm demeanor, he didn’t look as closed off as before.

“You were looking for stud earrings, yes?” Richard asked. “I can bring out a few more, unless there’s anything in particular that caught your eye.”

“The lapis lazuli was quite nice,” Hanzawa replied firmly. “I’d love to see more of that.”

“…Please, take a seat while I fetch them,” Richard replied, a beat too late, and then he was off, an unsteady set to his mouth.

I supposed I’d been able to surprise him, after all.

“Milk tea, right?” I asked, motioning to where I’d set it down on the coffee table.

Hanzawa shrugged out of his jacket—today had brought biting wind along with the encroaching frost of mid-October weather—and laid it on the back of his chair before sitting down. “You thought ahead,” he said appreciatively.

“Well, you said you’d come, so…” I trailed off, not wanting to spotlight our last meeting, but unable to act as if it hadn’t happened.

Maybe Hanzawa was the same, because though he’d been distantly polite to Richard, his tone was warm as he spoke to me. He held his teacup in that same delicate fashion and took a long sip as he assessed my face. Finally, he declared, “You’ve covered it up well.”

My hand strayed towards my cheek before I willed it down. “I was worried I’d messed it up because Richard noticed,” I said, “but none of the other clients seemed to.”

Hanzawa didn’t seem surprised to learn this. “Richard-san’s quite observant; I didn’t think it would fool him.”

And fool him it hadn’t—not even for a second. I’d come into the shop to see that a client had come a few minutes ahead of their morning appointment. At first, I’d interpreted Richard’s look of vexation as an annoyance with my lateness, even though I’d come right on time, so I simply busied myself with making tea. He’d been unusually curt with the client, though not out of the bounds of simple familiarity with a regular, and once they’d left, he’d whirled on me with a sharp look.

I’d frozen in place, pinned by the emotion I couldn’t quite place in his eyes.

“Sit down,” he’d said, and I followed his order mostly out of shock.

“…Richard?” I ventured, and then bit down a yelp of surprise when he suddenly knelt before me.

Way to give a guy zero warning. I knew that Richard disliked the ways in which his beauty isolated him, but it was seriously unfair to see his face so close.

“What happened?”

I wrenched my gaze away from the fine strands of his eyelashes. “What?”

“To your face,” Richard said. Though he spoke quietly, there was a frigid edge to his words. “What happened? Tell me everything.”

“Ah—you mean my bruise?” I’d finally realized, and Richard’s hands shook at my confirmation. “It’s—well, remember Hanzawa?”

After giving him a quick rundown of the events, Richard’s expression softened. He sighed, and as he pinched the bridge of his nose, asked, “Why is it that you can never seem to avoid trouble?”

I shrugged, still a little distracted by how close his face was to mine. “…Is it obvious?” I asked after a beat. Maybe it was stupid, but I really didn’t want to leave.

“You haven’t done a bad job,” Richard assured. “Tomorrow, bring your supplies to work, and I’ll do it for you.”

Now that I thought back on it, Richard had seemed rather shaken when I’d told him what had happened. I’d known that Hanzawa’s visit had bothered him, but I hadn’t expected that Richard would react to news about him with such concern.

I tamped down another instinctive flare of jealousy and agreed with Hanzawa. “Yeah, he’s way too good at noticing things.”

“I wonder if there’s ever a customer that finds it unnerving,” Hanzawa mused. “To be seen so well… it could be frightening.”

“In a way, I think it’s relieving,” I said, thinking about how Richard had applied my makeup with swift prowess this morning. I’d thought I’d done a good job on my own, but when I’d checked his result in the mirror, it was flawless. And he’d been gentle with the entire process, too—I’d felt fussed over in a way that was as embarrassing as it was pleasing. “I really like the way he doesn’t presume anything, so maybe that’s why I think it’s fine. Because I never feel as if I've been judged by him.”

“What a lovely way to feel,” Hanzawa replied, savoring his milk tea with a smile.

Our attention was both redirected to Richard, who had returned with his tamatebako in hand. An odd look was on his face—I wondered if he’d overheard us, but he opened up his tamatebako without comment or force. The earrings on display weren’t limited to just stud earrings, but were likewise simple, sparse designs that highlighted the stone in question. Gold sparked through in different patterns in each stone, and some were entirely without it, the entire rock a deep, even blue.

Hanzawa studied each set with a keen eye. “Blue’s a rather neutral color, but lapis lazuli looks so rich it borders on ostentatious,” he sighed. “Still, it is nice.”

Aren’t you fond of green? I thought to myself. But since I remembered how awkward he’d looked the last time I’d said so, I kept quiet.

“Is there something that drew you to this stone in particular?” Richard asked.

“Like I said, it’s just such an arresting color,” Hanzawa said after a moment. “And… I was thinking a little more about what I wanted.” Maybe he’d realized he’d spoken with a bit too much bite, because he then laughed self consciously and clarified, “I guess I’m looking for something like a statement piece? Though it might seem strange to say as they’re just earrings, and not even in a particularly grand style. But this color…”

He kept drifting towards that point. I could see where he was coming from—with the exception of some sapphires, I’d never seen such a deep blue, and the gold color scattered within lapis lazuli left a vivid impression.

“Statement pieces do tend to be on the grander side,” Richard conceded. “However, I think any piece of jewelry is its own kind of statement.” He paused, eyes flickering towards me, and tentatively added, “I’d like to believe that gems reflect the feelings of their owner.”

“Is that so…” Hanzawa said, and in defiance of Richard’s caution, passed by his statement without further comment. “Tell me more about lapis lazuli?” he asked. “I knew about ultramarine, but I’m sure a stone like this has more history surrounding it.”

Richard relaxed back into his chair. “Historically, lapis lazuli was central in Ancient Egypt. You’ll see it almost anywhere in many artifacts from that time period.”

“All those gold and blue objects, then…?”

“That would be lapis lazuli,” he confirmed. “As you can see, it was prized for its color even back then. The gold part of these objects, though, was actual gold—the flecks you see in lapis lazuli are something else.”

“The gold color comes from… pyrite, right?” Hanzawa recalled.

“You would be correct. Pyrite is commonly called fool’s gold, as well,” Richard explained. “It’s quite different, though—pyrite is far more brittle, and naturally forms a cubic structure, as opposed to the malleable shapes of gold. The color also tends to be lighter and more like brass.”

I vaguely remembered Tanimoto-san saying she liked the cubic structure of pyrite a while ago—I’d really have to find out what that looked like. The cubes certainly weren’t appearing in the lapis lazuli before me, after all.

“So… essentially, the name fool’s gold implies you’d have to be an idiot to be deceived by it,” Hanzawa quipped.

At that, Richard cracked a small smile. “Something like that.”

“I can’t think of an artifact I’ve seen that wasn’t uniform in its blue,” Hanzawa recalled. “Isn’t that hard to source?”

“It makes it a great deal more valuable, yes. Both pyrite and calcite are common components of lapis lazuli that can add noticeable gold or white spots. While pyrite’s inclusion doesn’t often diminish its value, an abundance of calcite in lapis lazuli would.”

“So even something like lapis lazuli isn’t good enough to stand as is?” Hanzawa commented, without derision but with some measure of disappointment.

“To clarify,” Richard said, and it was at this point I realized that he hadn’t had the number of conversations I’d had with both Tanimoto-san and Hanzawa, “you’re speaking of the various ways in which gemstones are modified?”

“Something like that,” Hanzawa allowed, and I wondered just how much the man before me knew about heat treatments and dyeing and cutting and polishing.

“It is true that procedures like heat treatment influence the value of a stone,” Richard said after pondering the subject. “But no stone exists without human involvement. Each is mined or otherwise sourced, then polished and cut, and then fit into various settings. Not every jewel goes through each step of this process, but beyond that, every gemstone and jewel you encounter is prized only because someone has decided to do so.” He took a deep breath. “There is no stone in the world that exists without a human response. So, if there is a stone that is perfect untouched, then it is only because someone thinks it as such.”

Hanzawa was stunned into silence, a rare show of vulnerability cast on his face.

Richard took note and softened his voice. “So lapis lazuli’s value, like many others, arises from circumstance. It was one of the only sources for blue paint, and unlike a blue sapphire, could be carved. For those in Ancient Egypt, its rarity made it a signifier of wealth and status. Cleopatra used its powdered form as eyeshadow. Ra, the god of the sun, was often portrayed as having golden skin and lapis lazuli hair.”

“…There’s a lot of history carried in these, then.”

“Indeed.”

“I can understand why,” Hanzawa said. “In each setting, the stone looks slightly different. Like it has reinvented its image each time.” He inspected one pair of stud earrings where the pyrite gleamed in blue like a sharp crack of lightning before setting them down. “I doubt I’d fit a stone suited to royalty,” he said. He tried to couch his words in a light, self-deprecating tone, but it only worsened their effect. “I apologize.”

“No need,” Richard said, studying Hanzawa intently. “Still, Hanzawa-san… the fact that this stone is sold here means that it cannot be just for royalty, you know?”

“Then… if stones reflect their owner, what kind of people do you think wear lapis lazuli?” Hanzawa asked.

Since he’d just mentioned her, my mind flashed to Cleopatra—she was certainly an image that was out of sorts with Hanzawa. But when I thought of that story regarding her pearl earrings, I felt that Hanzawa had a similar sense of pride and wit. At the very least, he could certainly match the composure of a queen.

“…I think there is not just one type of person suited to a certain kind of stone,” Richard began. “Things are not that… well, set in stone.”

“Still,” Hanzawa pressed, “There must be some kind of consensus. Indulge a simple curiosity… what meaning is lapis lazuli associated with today?”

“…Some claim it is helpful for mitigating insomnia and negative feelings. But as for associations with the stone itself—truth, I suppose.”

Even a fool who thought their pyrite was gold would be able to catch the shift in Hanzawa’s expression. I realized then that even though he’d told me to tell him everything, I’d glossed over most of what I’d talked about with Hanzawa. Richard was brilliant, but he couldn’t actually read minds.

“Of course,” Hanzawa murmured, the strangled expression on his face having settled into an odd, muted reverence. “That’s why it’s so beautiful.”

He didn’t look towards me; he knew I’d known, and he was smart enough to tell that Richard couldn’t. Client privacy was important, but half the reason I’d wanted to speak to Hanzawa was to get rid of that troubled look on Richard’s face, and here I was, mucking everything up and making the situation worse for everyone. I anticipated Hanzawa would become withdrawn and make the quickest, politest exit possible, but what he did instead was worse.

In a single motion, Hanzawa drained his milk tea. “I’m no professional jeweler, but here’s my assessment,” he said, a resolute look on his face. “Lapis lazuli is on the delicate end. It’s flecked with fool’s gold, but not to its detriment—this makes it a stone that is as rich as it is fake. To wear it, someone must be capable of handling it with care, and grand enough to carry the attention its blue deserves.” He paused, sent a mischievous glance my way, and added, “Don’t you think Seigi would suit it well? He’s rather careful.”

As if on autopilot, Richard scoffed and replied, “Careful?”

Hanzawa dipped his head in agreement, though his smile was obvious. “Richard-san, I’ll defer to you opinion on him, as it’s you that knows him so dearly well.”

Richard’s face turned slightly red—I guessed it was a bit disconcerting to respond on instinct rather than thought. In a strained voice, he offered, “Would you at least like to try on some of the earrings?”

Hanzawa stared at Richard, his momentary cheer immediately dulled. Then he smiled again, but it wasn’t friendly. He reached towards the set he’d been drawn to during conversation and tried them on without much fanfare.

Once on his ears, I thought they suited him beautifully—the gold seemed to glow under the lights of the store, and the deep color enhanced the blue tones of his irises. But once Hanzawa inspected his own visage in the mirror, his plastered-on smile flattened into a dim ghost of itself, and he shook his head. “No, I was right,” he said, and removed his earrings before either of us could say a word. “This kind of thing isn’t for me.”

He'd become like steel; that countenance of his made it impossible to ask questions. He wished me well, and then whisked himself away, a sliver of wind wisping into the shop in his wake.

Richard lingered in front of the open tamatebako. That had been the last appointment of the day.

I sighed, unsure how to apologize, and simply said, “I’m sorry—I really thought that if he came to his appointment, it’d be…” And suddenly I realized that the more I understood Hanzawa, the less I was sure I knew.

“No… you were fine,” Richard said. “Wasn’t he comparatively talkative today?” When my frown didn’t lessen, he added, “For what it’s worth, he seemed to have opened up to you.”

“To me?”

“Well, it certainly wasn’t to me,” Richard answered with a raised eyebrow.

“Not much good it did you, though,” I muttered.

Richard sighed and motioned for me to sit next to him. I glumly pulled a chair to his side. “He entered here on a whim, the first time,” he said. “Today, I could tell that he was seriously considering what he wanted. Though I understand your disappointment, it is an honorable decision for someone to decide they aren’t ready for something.”

“You’re right,” I conceded, “but it still doesn’t feel right.”

Richard’s hand hovered by me; I wondered if he was going to poke my bruise, but he simply settled a cool hand on my shoulder. “Rather than push someone into a shaky decision or entice them into a purchase by playing to their desires… it is best when someone makes the choice on their own.”

Come to think of it, he’d called himself thoughtless for selling that amethyst to Takatsuki-san, who’d been moved by the powers it was said to possess. Hanzawa’s case was kind of the inverse situation, but he, too, had been moved—in the opposite direction. And if, like Takatsuki-san, the reason was due to an unresolved state of mind, the purchase of a jewel wouldn’t pacify it.

“…You’re way too good at logical arguments, you know,” I grumbled.

Richard squeezed my shoulder. “It’s just that you think with your heart,” he said. “But that is not a detriment—it is a strength.”

I felt my face growing warm and turned to hide my expression. “I’d better get this makeup off,” I said.

“Unique” was a lovely compliment, but somehow, the simple assurance that I was liked as I was felt twice as magical.

#might have made some typos... i'll fix them if so #fun fact i thought this ch was gonna be super short. its 4k. barely shorter than ch 1!#btw for those who dont know who kaede is hirano asks hanzawa if hes dating this girl named kaede in the vol 5 extras #hanzawa says theyre just friends. in the same volume (ch 27) we see him hanging out with a girl and ive decided thats kaede #my writing #the anomalous agate #cfojr #hanzawa masato #nakata seigi #richard ranasinghe de vulpian #the case files of jeweler richard #kiri.txt #harusono #jeweler richard

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